#incorrect my wife and kids quotes

[spacewarriorsam]

Jay: Quick! I need an unlikely superhero name for Michael!

(Claire, Kady, and Junior didn’t have an idea as they were pondering which name to give. Then Junior chimed in)

Junior: CAPTAIN HAIR!

(Michael glared at his only son)

#incorrect my wife and kids quotes #source: whose line is it anyway

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Yelena: Today, we’re going to cook minute rice.

Kate: Really? How long will that take?

#source: my wife and kids #yelena belova #yelena belova incorrect quotes #black widow #kate bishop #kate bishop incorrect quotes #hawkeye #marvel incorrect quotes #marvel #avengers #avengers incorrect quotes

[cuteniarose]

Personally I find it really funny that based on what the twins said in the Book 2 finale re: having to tell their mom about what happened to Unalaq, it's literally canon that Unalaq's wife a) exists, b) is alive, and c) is just chilling in the Northern Water Tribe

She took one look at all the spirit fuckery her husband was getting up to and went "Well that's none of my business" and honestly I respect that

#oh and when I say spirit fuckery I mean it in both the literal and metaphorical sense. blame kat's latest raava and vaatu fic #yeah I'm just gonna start posting random LoK opinions on here now. this blog's been dead long enough #not really an incorrect quotes girly anymore sorry #not even a girl anymore. but you know #most of my red lotus and oc posting will remain on my personal blog though bc no one wants to see that #anyway. yes. Unalaq's wife. when I say the avatar franchise has a mom problem this is exactly what I mean #80% of characters don't have a mom. the moms that are alive either have little to no screen time or mentions #or they're basically Schroedinger's mom in the sense that they exist but not really #the exceptions being like. pema and suyin. and maybe senna though she also has very little screentime #my point is. the twins are younger than korra. I know avatarverse has a precedent for putting kids on the throne. looking at you zuko #but really we should have gotten unalaq's wife as chief of the nwt #introduced her in book 3 during the lead up to p'li's prison break #but that's just my objectively correct opinion #northern water tribe chief raspberry when #(according to avatar wiki her name is malina so I've been calling her raspberry in my head ever since I found out #malina means raspberry in russian that's why. probably in a bunch of other slavic languages too idk I'm not an expert #and she shares a name with katara and sokka's weird white stepmom from the comics which no sane person considers canon. so that's fun) #the legend of korra #unalaq

[infinite-orangepeel]

fyi the lumineers wrote cleopatra about steddie & this is my proof

‘And I left the footprints, the mud stain on the carpet/And it hardened like my heart did when you left town’

‘But I must admit it, that I would marry you in an instant/Damn your wife, I'd be your mistress just to have you around’

‘But I was late for this, late for that, late for the love of my life/And when I die alone, when I die alone, die I'll be on time’

#I WOULD MARRY YOU IN AN INSTANT DAMN YOUR WIFE ID BE YOUR MISTRESS JUST TO HAVE YOU AROUND #that’s literally eddie to steve about nancy are u kidding me #this song always makes me think of them #steddie #steddie brainrot #incorrect steddie #incorrect steddie quotes #steddie incorrect quotes #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #steddie angst #fruity four #stranger things #steve harrington/eddie munson #steddie my beloved #eddie munson/steve harrington #steddie headcanon #steddie headcanons #Spotify

[ariel-seagull-wings]

@bixiebeet @spengnitzed @janeb984 @tacticalcinnamonroll @ireneead @angelixgutz

Winston: I mean, what can you do in seven and a half minutes?

Egon: Well I got Janine pregnant.

Winston: That only acounts for half a minute. What did you do with the other seven?

Egon: Recuperate.

#incorrect ghostbusters quotes #winston zeddemore #egon spengler #janine melnitz #janegon #egonine #spengnitz #source: my wife and kids

[incorrectrockyandshockyquotes]

Riff Raff: How did you sleep after Hop 2011

Magenta: Okay, I didn’t think about it. You?

Riff Raff: My dreams involved the main rabbit stealing my wife and kids and pissing on my crops and calling me a slur in German

Magenta: What the fuck

#incorrect quotes #incorrect rocky horror quotes #rocky horror picture show #rocky horror #rocky horror show #riff Raff #magenta rocky horror #source: me and my best friend #We’re watching Illumination movies together the time I’m queuing this #We finished Hop 2011 #I was Riff Raff #No I don’t have a wife and kids btw #but I did in my dream for some reason

[skylarsblue]

✦Incorrect C.O.D Quotes, since AO3 is down✦

Gaz: I wanna know what exactly your type is. Y/N: I'm not just gonna give you more fodder to throw at me- Gaz: I have an idea of it already, but I want details! Y/N: No! Gaz: Like- König! Would you- Y/N: Of fuckin’ course I wanna fuck König! He’s huge, he could LITERALLY snap me in half and my dad didn’t love me, of course I want him to fuck me! Soap: *does that weird inhale-choke-cough*

— (Dick mention + a woman’s experience of a dude making gross comments. It’s funny I swear-) Fem!medic!Y/N: most of the time, people are pretty nice and sometimes impressed when when I bring up I’m a medical professional. Other times…eh.. Soap: Eh? Y/N: Sometimes you get conspiracy theorists. Soap: Ohhhh… Y/N: Some evangelists, gross dudes. Gaz: Gross dudes? What’s the worst you’ve heard? Ghost, sipping a whiskey: This outta be good. Y/N: Uh, once I told this man hitting on me I was a field doctor? He said, and I quote. “Been awhile since my last check up, mind checking me for ball cancer.” And I- Gaz: WHAT Soap: YOU’RE KIDDING Y/N: I am not. I just- I walked away. Price: Fuckin’ hell. Y/N: It’s fine. He got shot in the dick next mission, ended up with a male doctor. Ghost: Karma at its best.

- Graves: Oh FUCK YOU Y/N: Tsk, oooo…you don’t have enough money for that. Soap: HAHA!

- Soap, drunk: Back Street’s back, alright! Do do do do- Gaz, drunk on Price’ shoulders: Dodooodo- Price: Simon, get your boy. Ghost: *picking Soap up by his belt, carrying him like a bag* Yes sir.

- Recruit: When you gonna stop giving me blue balls? Gaz: Whoa hey!- Y/N: Aight, I got my steel toes on. How bout we make’em black and blue? Recruit: I- Y/N: Shut the fuck up. I’ve already turned you down, get a hint. Word of advice? Rather than shoot for the stars, maybe shoot your shot in your lower bracket, yeah? Recruit: Gaz: Someone get a fire extinguisher, this dudes been burned. Soap: On it. *sprays recruit with fire extinguisher*

- Soap: Nice onesie, does it come in men’s? Gaz, in his pyjamas: I think you cum enough in men for the all of us. Soap: ACK- Ghost: *slides out of the room*

- Ghost: Have you ever considered, just once, using your brain first? Soap: Now why would I do that?

- (Insert random name I HC for Laswell’s wife) Kate, after being in a bad explosion and ending up in this hospital: My wife, she’ll get upset if she sees you rubbing me like that on my chest. Diana: I am your wife. Kate …. Diana: :) Heart rate monitor: BEEPBEEPBEEPBE- Kate Hi. Diana: Hehe, hi. Gaz, in the corner: Oh to be in love. Soap: This is disgusting, why can’t I have this? >:,( Gaz: Cause your type in men is awful. Soap: Hey!

- Y/N: *walks into common room* Hello, I am very upset. I feel a meltdown coming on and you are all buff men, so I would like to request being picked up and held like a baby for a short period of time, please. Soap: Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you? Y/N: Nope. König: ….*slowly approaches and picks Y/N up from under their arms* Y/N, clinging to him like a koala and hiding in his shoulder: Thank you, I appreciate you. König: *awkward back pat*

- König: :) Y/N: Bloopbloopbloopbloop- Horagi: Y/N! Y/N: What? Horagi: Tha-That is our colo-that is a dangerous man! Y/N: He’s not a dangerous man! Horagi: What are y- Y/N: We’re bloopin’! Bloopbloopbloop- König: -w-

- Price: Kid, I need you to- Gaz & Y/N: *dancing like they don’t have jobs to do* Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: Fuck it up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: Fuck it up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: That’s what’s up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: I’m in love! Price: AHEM Gaz: Oh shit- Y/N: HEEEYY captaaaaiinn, what’s uuupp ahaha… Price: *sigh*

- (Based on; Me if COD was real. Deadass. Full serious. I am not kidding) Gaz: So have you met the Captain yet? Y/N: No. Gaz: Are you nervous? Y/N: No no, I have a firm belief that they’re just people. Obviously I’ll respect him as a superior but that’s nnnnnnnnwho the hell is that? Y/N: *fucking breaking their neck* Gaz: Oh- Nope. No no, THAT is Captain. Don’t think about it. Y/N: I’m thinking about it. Gaz: That’s not allowed. Y/N: Ive done worse for less, if he asks I’m sucking it, you can’t stop me. Gaz: Jesus Bloody Christ- Y/N: Tell him to call me when he’s on leave. Gaz: Stop-

- König: *walks in* Ghost: ?? Soap: Oh, hey! Gaz: Y’a need somethi- König: *picks up Y/N under his arm while humming, leaving the room* König: I love stealing, I love taking things!~ Ghost: What the f-

- Colonel!König: I’m 42 so, I don’t- Y/N: YOU’RE 42?! Colonel!König: Yeah. Y/N: …it’s okay no one has to know babygirl~ König: NEIN! Nein, don’t call me babygirl!-

- (Based on this awful Gaz outfit I saw on Twitter) MILF!Y/N: *doing paperwork* Gaz: Would you date me? Y/N: Baby we couldn’t even get a drink together. You can’t buy me nothin. Gaz: What do you mean? :( Y/N: Look at your outfit! What are you wearing? Gaz: I think I look pretty fly. Y/N: For who, your mom? Gaz: :((

- Gaz: STOP DATING MY CAPTAIN Y/N: ….you know what, I’m gonna start dating him even harder. Gaz: What’s that supposed to mean? Y/N: You know what it means.

- MILF!Y/N: *shoving apple juice into a cart* They gon’ need nutrition. Laswell: How many kids do you have? MILF!Y/N: Eleven! Laswell: So I’m assuming your kids really like apple juice? MILF!Y/N: No but they looove orange juice but they’ve been bad this week. Laswell: What grade are your kids in? MILF!Y/N: Sixteenth grade. Laswell: PFFT Sixteenth- that’s not even a grade! So your kids graduated college? MILF!Y/N: No they, they- …where are my kids?

- (Her “kids” on the other side of the store) Price: Boys please- Gaz: I AM NOT LOSING! Soap, in a fuckin’ headlock with him: Yes you fuckin’ are!! Ghost: *slipping cookies under his mask, he did not pay for them* König: *looking for a fruity snack* Horagi: *grabbing as many packs of spicy chips as he can* Alejandro: This is a disgrace. *holding up frozen burritos* Rudy: These are worse. *motions to frozen tamales* Alex: Did you know you can use coke as rust remover? Farah: …and you want to drink it??

- Y/N: So. Kyle. Gaz, already afraid: …yes? Y/N: I found some of your old playlists… Gaz: Y/N: Gaz: Y/N: You an emo? Gaz: I was a SCENE as a teenager, get it right.

#call of duty mwii #call of duty x reader #john soap mactavish #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #cod konig #horangi call of duty #alex keller #farah karim #alejandro vargas #rodolfo rudy parra #kate laswell #call of duty incorrect quotes #modern warfare

[spacewarriorsam]

Junior: If you're from Africa, why are you white? Jay: Oh my God, Junior, you can't just ask people why they're white.

#incorrect my wife and kids quotes #source: mean girls

[nor-4]

Formula 1 Incorrect Quotes with reader Two

F1IQ - Part One

Y/n: Bitch why don't you shut the fuck up before i slit your throat and watch the honor roll out?

Max: Are you threatening me??

Y/n: No, I'm hitting on you, flash me a titty bitch.

Lewis: Yeah uh, there's something I've been wanting to say lately.

Y/n: Oh what's that?

Lewis: The N-Word

Y/n looking at toto: Look at your dad. Such a dork, keeping bees.

Y/n: I mean atleast it's interesting though. At least like, i wish my dad kept bees.

Y/n: I mean it's kind of cute. Like, your dad keeps bees.

Y/n: How old is your dad? He's obviously beekeeping age. I dont know. I think It's kind of sweet.

Y/n: George, i wanna fuck your dad.

George: Oh really?

Yuki: Hey can i sit with you?

Y/n: Why

Yuki looking at stroll and ocon: The kids at the other table keep throwing ketchup packets at me.

Y/n: You're not covered in ketchup, though

Yuki: They don't know you have to open it first

Y/n: Damn. We need remedial bullying class too.

Yuki: So how do you like your remedial english?

Y/n: I guess it's whatever. My mom was really pissed, though.

Yuki: Yeah? What about your dad?

Y/n: My dad killed himself.

Charles: I'm finally seeing someone good for me.

Alex: Omg who is it?

Charles: A therapist

Y/n: max is pissing me off *20 minutes ago*

Y/n: nvm just got dicked down

George: Girl what..

Fernando: Every time i talk to you i feel confused.

Fernando: I've never met anyone that speaks like you do

Y/n: Stop lovebombing me

Fernando: what? It's not a compliment

Fernando: You scare me

Y/n: What are you hiding from me?

Zhou: Nothing..

Y/n: Zhou Guanyu.

Zhou pulls out a cat: The cat distribution system chose me okay

Y/n at drive to survive: If he cheats on you, put hair remover in his shampoo, you wanna act like Andrew tate, u gon look like him too.

Lewis wearing a beanie: I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS FOREVER

Toto: That's your fault. Being too quick signing your seat with ferrari

Oscar: Are you high?

Lando: Am i what?

Oscar: High

Lando: Hello

Christian: So what could a Mercedes principal possibly have then?

Y/n: I just feel like he'd be into satan-worship, or at the very least have a sex diary.

Christian: A toto wolff sex diary would be horrifying. He's like our rival.

Y/n: We say that about Stephen king books, we still read those.

Daniel: "Dear diary, hot candle wax hurts so good"

Christian: No it'd probably be like a thesaurus of words for "Good"

Daniel: Yeah he probably sexts with perfect grammar.

Y/n: "My wife showed an exquisite exhibition of lust for me."

Toto: Let me try something different here. Do you guys have thoughts and feelings for one another?

Y/n: Uhh i think George's kinda spoiled

George: And i feel like y/n's a bitch

Y/n: What're you gay?

Alex: What.. How did you know? I've never told anyone that.

Y/n: Dude look at your hair dye, you're either gay or color blind.

Lance: bro stop chanting in dead language's your scaring the hoes

Y/n: Bitch you is so lonely I'm summoning the hoes

Sebastian: You used to be shy, now you're a whore

Y/n: There's a thing called character development

Oscar: Reminder that I'm very sweet and endearing so be nice to me

Carlos: or what

Oscar: or I'll punch your lights out

Hey yall this is a bit short cause I'm finna make a random crack twitter posts n I'll post it in the most random day. I love yall baby💋

#formula one incorrect quotes #formula one x reader #formula 1 x reader #carlos sainz x reader #max verstappen x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #alex albon x reader #george russel x reader #toto wolff x reader #zhou guanyu x reader #yuki tsunoda x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #charles leclerc x reader

[ynbabe]

Hii

Can you please do young justice incorrect quotes about a reader they really shy but sassy and they a torn invisible.

Thx

Hiii ofc! I'm loving the young justice requests they're all my emotional support scrunklys

Also readers' definitely more sassy than shy but hey we love em anyways

Y/n, turning visible in the kitchen after watching Jaime throw a PB&J at Impulse: You need to stop.

Scarab, talking for Jaime: or what? You're gonna try to make us feel like a disappointment? Bad for you that we’re not in need of your approval.

Impulse: Yeah the fuck you are!

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/N, judging: how does it feel to be the smartest of the group considering that the Impulse is obviously in love with Tim?

Jaime, in love with Y/N: shut up.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Impulse, trying prank Y/n: so who is he?

Y/N, trying to piss everyone off: his work wife.

Jaime, in front of Nightwing: you're not my work wife. You are a man-

Y/N: Husband then.

Jaime 'Why can't my shy boyfriend be shy around goddamn Nightwing' Reyes: you're not my husband either.

Y/N, fake gasping: so this is just an affair for you?

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/N @ Jaime, not knowing the poor boy has a crush on him: I mean ... You piss Tim off so much that one day I'll have to marry you just to make him angry.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/N, getting stuck at Party without Impulse, Jaime or Tim: they always said that my personality would take me in bad place in life.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Impulse, about Jaime, when they first met: why don't you like him? I mean, he is as snarky as you.

Y/n, stuttering: are you kidding? I don't not like him!.

Impulse: you may want to stop turning invisible every time he enters the room then.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Tim, team leader, doing his team leadering, fighting off a breakdown, as usual: Y/N you're gonna talk to them.

Y/n, feeling shy and turning invisible: why me? Why not Impulse or Beetle?

Tim: Because usually, Beetle blows something when talking doesn't work.

Y/n, about to cry, sighing: true.

Tim: and people want to drown Impulse when he talks.

Y/N, feeling sassy again and turning visible: also true.

#dc #dc x reader #dc x y/n #dick grayson #young justice x reader #young justice x male reader #young justice x gn reader #dc impulse #yj #jaime reyes #blue beetle #jaime reyes x reader #jaime hernandez #tim drake #tim drake x reader #tim drake x gn reader #request #reqs open #incorrect quotes #young justice #young justice incorrect quotes

[little-cereal-draws]

More incorrect quotes

Odysseus: Could you maybe just like… stab me… right in the gut. Just REALLY twist it in there. ‘Cause that honestly seems less painful than this conversation.

-

Odysseus: Hey I got you food, pick a number between 1 and 10. Eurylochus: Uh 4? Odysseus: Wrong, no food for you. Eurylochus: Wait what?! WHY?! ODYSSEUS PLEASE—!

-

Odysseus: I wish I had acid. Thank you, Hermes. Amen.

-

Odysseus, when his crew accuses him of hubris after he gives his name to the cyclopes: Oh and for your information, I don't have an ego! Odysseus: My facebook photo is a landscape.

-

Penelope: I love murder mysteries Odysseus, trying to impress her: I've been a suspect in four murder cases

-

Odysseus: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

-

Odysseus: Met a dumbass today. Awful. Eurylochus: You looked in a mirror? Odysseus: Someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful.

-

Odysseus: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

-

Odysseus: I would say I feel sorry, but we all know that I've done much, much worse

-

Odysseus: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture. His crew: Awwww- Odysseus: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything." His crew: Oh.

-

Odysseus: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

-

Odysseus, after giving his name to the cyclopes: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.

-

Odysseus at the 108 suitors trying to marry his wife: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges.

This is one isn’t very in character but it made me laugh so hard

Odysseus: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Penelope made me get tested.

#the odyssey #epic the musical #Odysseus #Eurylochus #Penelope #odypen #odysseus x penelope #incorrect odyssey #incorrect epic the musical quotes #incorrect epic quotes

[timkonshipper]

young justice w/ tim, bart & kon incorrect quotes part 2

bart: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. kon: kon: I'm gonna tell him tim: Don't you dare.

__

bart: I have a plan. kon: I have the hospital and tim on speed dial.

__

Tim: I want to be like a caterpillar. Kon: Explain. Tim: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful. Kon: You know they have a lifespan of a week, right? Tim: Tim: That's just another highlight!

__

Tim: You bought a taco? bart: Yes. Tim: From the same truck that hit kon?! bart, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help him

__

bart: Tell us… Is there a spirit in this house? Spirit, through the board: YES. tim: Great! Rent is due on the first of the month. kon: Oh, and movie night is on Friday if you want to hang out. Spirit: WAIT, WHAT—

__

tim: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not! kon: tim, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday. tim: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it! bart: ...It was a bug. tim: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not! kon: ... bart: ... tim: Stop looking at me like that!

__

bart: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death? tim: How am I supposed to know? kon: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult. tim: *sighs* tim: You wouldn't be trapped.

__

tim, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! kon, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids bart: what the fuck are you guys doing? tim: playing systemic oppression

__

tim: You love me, right, kon? kon: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

__

bart, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me tim, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

__

bart: Change is inedible. kon: Don't you mean inevitable? bart, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

__

#young justice #tim drake #conner kent #bart allen #incorrect quotes

[handmade-witch]

I've been playing around with Incorrect Quote Generator [Link] with Y/N x Slytherin Boys squad and here are some iconic ones:

Part 2 ☆ Part 3 ☆ Part 4 ☆ Part 5 ☆ Part 6

Draco: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

☆☆☆

Draco: We wouldn’t last two minutes

without Y/N.

Draco:

Draco: Don’t tell them I said that.

☆☆☆

Lorenzo: Would you slap Mattheo-

Y/N: Yes.

Lorenzo: I didn't even finish!

Y/N: Sorry, continue.

Lorenzo: Would you slap Mattheo for 10 dollars?

Y/N: I would do it for free.

Mattheo: Rude...

☆☆☆

Theodore: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Mattheo: What changed your mind?

Theodore: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.

☆☆☆

Y/N: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Draco: Mine just says "Draco no."

Y/N: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

☆☆☆

Draco, being robbed: Please! Have mercy! I have a family! A wife and kids… a dog…

Mattheo: Literally none of that is true, Draco.

Draco: Okay, but I’m sexy! That’s gotta count for something, right?

☆☆☆

Mattheo: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Theodore: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Draco: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Lorenzo: I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Y/N: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

☆☆☆

Mattheo: *About to do something incredibly stupid*

Theodore: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.

☆☆☆

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Blaise: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Y/N: ...I did. I broke it.

Blaise: No. No you didn't. Mattheo?

Mattheo: Don't look at me. Look at Lorenzo.

Lorenzo: What?! I didn't break it.

Mattheo: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Lorenzo: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Mattheo: Suspicious.

Lorenzo: No, it's not!

Theodore: If it matters, probably not, but Draco was the last one to use it.

Draco: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Theodore: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Draco: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Theodore!

Y/N: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Blaise.

Blaise: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Lorenzo: Blaise... Pansy's been awfully quiet.

Pansy: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Blaise, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Blaise: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Blaise:

Blaise: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

☆☆☆

Y/N: We call that a traumatic experience.

Y/N, turning to Theodore: Not a "bruh moment".

Y/N, turning to Draco: Not "sadge".

Y/N, turning to Mattheo: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

#i think ive been having a little too much fun with these #slytherin boys #lorenzo berkshire #theodore nott #mattheo riddle #draco malfoy #blaise zabini #pansy parkinson #harry potter #slytherin boys x reader

[luxthestrange]

Incorrect quotes#800 HouseWife Mam

In the Near Future-In the human world

Mam*In an apron glaring at the dirty window*What's up homie you pulling up on me or what-*Takes out the index cleaner out midair and starts shooting the window*BRAH BRAH BRAH!

Mam*Looking at the camera phone*Ey Welcome to another day as a Cholo Housewife, When My Treasure's at work being a Pan-winner~I get the kid's lunches ready for school!*Gives Luke and the LilDs their own lunch bags and a kiss on their foreheads as they run out to catch the bus*

Mam*Outside on the lawn on top of a yoga mat, fighting the air*I also get my morning Karate-Cholo on!-PUES ORALE STEP INTO THE RING AND THROWN DOWN ESE!?

Mam*Back inside taking the clothes out the dryer*I get the laundry done-OH!And I start watering the plants I call this one Mc 2!*Watering a small houseplant*

-Outside the house, you arrive still talking on the phone with a stack of papers in one hand-

Mam"Oh mi amor is home-I better prepare my mamacita/papacito slippers!"*Runs to the door and puts slippers at the ready for you*"Ey if they're here who's running heaven?~"

Mc*Is talking to your assistant and smiles taking off your shoes and the slippers on, letting Mammon take your belongings*

Mam"Damn look at em, still workin', Too bad our husband Rafa quit after he met me at the Christmas party"There you go my Treasure!~Take these off"Damn why do your feet still smell like roses..."

Mc*Looks up at him and caresses his face, laying a kiss on his cheek as you then hurry to the bathroom*

Mam"Oh, They're looking at me!-DONT CRY DONT CRY DONT CRY!"*Red checks as his Adam's apple goes up and down*Now one thing about my treasure, they got a cute little bladder

Mam*Uses magic to get to the bathroom door and open it for you to run in*Right this way treasure~Windows open and candles lit~*Closes the door and then naruto runs down the hallway*NOW BACK TO THE KITCHEN WHERE I BELONG!~

...I think about Mammon being my wife ...a normal amount~(I DONT)

#obey me #obey me! #obey me mc #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me x gn!reader #obey me x gn!mc #obey me mammon #housewife mammon #THE SUPERIOR WIFE NEXT TO BARBATOS #mammon x reader #mammon x mc #mammon stans assemble #mammon is superior #obey me fluff #obey me incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #cholo mammon-

[11queensupreme11]

THE SILLIES! (part 2)

part 1

❦━━ the adventures of daddyseidon and his daughter-wife: 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43,

❦━━ daddyseidon and percy's future kids: 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 (SAD 😭), 17.5, 18, 19 (ponyo!daughter au!), 20,

❦━━ non-incestuous daddyseidon: 4, 5,

❦━━ percy, the daughter of... loki?: 8, 9,

❦━━ baby!percy au: 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24,

❦━━ pjo vs ror worlds lol: 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14,

❦━━ if other characters got isekai-ed: 3, 4, 5,

❦━━ hades with other nieces: 1, 2, 3

❦━━ poseidon is actually going commando

❦━━ percy's adventures in hoo: 1, 2, 3, 4,

❦━━ incorrect quotes lol

❦━━ duck!poseidon and guinea pig!percy 🥺

❦━━ percy and the humans 🥰: 1, 2, 3, 4,

❦━━ just some funny harry vs percy stuff lmao

❦━━ percy gets brainwashed lmao

❦━━ baby seal! percy 🦭

❦━━ percy's cursed list of baby names 👶🏻

MISC!

❦━━ what i like and dislike about ror and pjo!

❦━━ strong female character rants (that i forgot to tag as rants 💀): 1, 2, 3

❦━━ my issues with hoo: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

❦━━ the ror gods are really really REALLY old compared to the pjo gods

❦━━ pjo!merfolk vs ror!merfolk 🧜‍♀️

❦━━ explanation of the ancient laws in pjo verse

❦━━ how fast godly children grow

#👸🏻| arsenic blues #👸🏻| masterlists

[thisbelongsto-nohbodys]

I've been meaning to do some more stuff with Mr and Mrs Wu/Waybright but couldn't find time to do a full comic so I did some sketchdumps of them and their daughters post-canon, in-between the finale and the 10-year timeskip. Not all designs are 100%.

Wu: 1. Mr Wu wanting to learn more about his daughter after she returned from Amphibia had...consequences... 2. Mrs Wu tried so hard to get Marcy to forget Sashanne but those early days were awkward. 3.Mayor Wu of Hopkinton, Massachusetts. 4. Mrs. Wu distain for Sashanne persisted for a long time. 5. Mayor Wu meeting Mayor McGee is always a fun idea. 6. Mr Wu also deciding to take time for his daughter no matter how busy he was (to a point). 7. Headcanon that Mrs Wu taught Marcy to use coverup for her face scar, both to make her face back to before Amphibia but also so ppl won't ask how she got it.

Waybright: 1. Sasha and her step-siblings (?) from her mom's long-time boyfriend who already had kids, is likely why Sasha didn't like Sprig for the longest time, she knew how annoying siblings are. They know about Sasha's crush on Anne and tease her endlessly 2. It took a while for Sasha to get rid of all of her hidden daggers. 3. Mrs Waybright's love of Sasha's sphinx cat is such a funny idea to me. 4. We can probably also assume that Sasha has at least 1 half-sibling. 5. Mr Waybright approves of Anne. 6. Sasha will not jeopardize her license for her scumbag dad. 7. Early post-Amphibia talk between Sasha and Mr Waybright about his new wife. 8. Sasha will do something about her scars Mrs Waybright...she'll cover them with tattoos.

(This is also for when I post my comics on DA, I hopefully won't get a bunch of confused comments wondering about certain things that I already explained here or made incorrect quotes about)

#amphibia #my art #sasha waybright #marcy wu #anne boonchuy #sashannarcy #mr and mrs wu #mr and mrs waybright #ink #sketch #sketchdump