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bronx-bomber87 · 9 months

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Good Morning! Super excited for these next set of eps to review.

We’ve reached the iconic and pivotal DOD eps. I’m nervously excited to review these. I want to do them justice. They are momentous for not just Chenford but the entire series. Rosalind Dyer is one of my fav recurring baddies. I loved Annie from Castle as well. Was psyched she would be joining The Rookie. This was a rare one where I got to use all the gifs I wanted to. Yay. Kid in a Chenford candy store haha Thank you to all the wonderful gif makers out there. You are the real MVP's. Let’s get this started :)

2x10 The Dark Side

We start with Lucy and the guys out for a post work drink. Armstrong is there as well. They’re talking about Jackson dating a celebrity. Asking how that is? Lucy says they’re happy if he’s happy. Nick calls her bluff and says ‘Liar.’ LMAO Lucy cracks and says men suck ha They sure can. That the single men in LA suck. That whenever they find out she’s a cop they freak out. (To touch on not dating a cop bit. It is only a mistake when it’s not Tim. Let’s be real.) Especially while she's still a rookie just not a good idea (cough Nolan cough) He was never a good decision though....not even a little bit. I'll die on that hill haha

Armstrong joins the convo and comes in with some solid advice. ‘Those aren’t men they’re boys. Real men are not afraid of a strong woman.’ Your real man just isn’t ready yet my dear. Nor are you. I really love this scene though. I enjoyed Nick a lot as a character. Poor Lucy she goes on her 'Sister Officer Lucy Chen' rant ha Classic. Oh the irony of this convo. In S5 she definitely isn't in a nunnery anymore heh. That is quite awhile away from this point though. Have to note how pretty she looks in this scene. Her outfit is simple but she looks stunning.

Lucy leaves the table to get another round. That’s when Lucy runs into Caleb….really unfortunate that’s his name. That’s my BIL's name haha He seems normal enough with his flirting with Lucy. Both of them being ignored for another drink by the bartender. He's making her laugh and appearing nice and kind. Ugh run Lucy run…Their moment gets interrupted by Lucy noticing a guy stealing tips. She walks away from the convo and apologizes. End ups arresting the thief. The way she takes him down is bad ass I have to say. (Tim would be proud) Says 'Surprise I’m a cop’ haha

Roll call comes around and they find out about Rosalind Dyer. A rare unicorn in their world. A female serial killer. She’s agreed to show them the 3 bodies that were never found. In exchange she gets life with no parole instead of the death penalty. Everyone’s day is now centered around this. Tim and Lucy discuss her past murders. Lucy telling Tim she was in college when they found the first victims.

That it was all anyone could talk about, wondering how a woman could be so barbaric? Tim shares his own story about it. How he worked a scene for the 4th victim. That he was advised not to look at the body. How he wish he hadn’t… The hindsight of watching this scene unfold right before they run into Caleb. It’s bone chilling to think about. Their convo being framed around this before he shows up.

Caleb shows up and Tim is immediately suspicious and does not like this guy. His face has me rolling the entire time. Gives Caleb a hard time about the word 'Perp'. His facial expressions I can not LOL Now part of this reaction is his cop gut. I truly believe that. Not trusting whoever this guy is for Lucy. His default is suspicion. The fierce protector coming out to play in this scene.

I think the rest of his reaction is him just not liking this guy being interested in Lucy. Jealously thy name is Timothy Bradford. Its seeping out of him and he can't stop himself. He's completely forgotten he's dating one of her closest friends in this moment. Written all over his face how territorial he’s being right now. I always love me some protective/jealous Tim. This scene and honestly this entire episode is full of that.

Lucy’s face is screaming ‘chill out’ the entire interaction. She's basically scolding him with her eyes above. They have a mini silent conversation with their eyes before the scene continues. If that isn't the most married look they've had so far. I love it so much. He definitely looks reprimanded in that second gif above. Tim is as transparent as person can be in this scene. Not even trying to hide it a little bit. Caleb has shown up and Tim's guard and protective nature are out in full force. Doesn't like this guy just showing up and sniffing around at all.

Caleb is clearly nervous around Tim (as he should be..) It's too funny he keeps trying regardless to talk to Lucy. Tim deftly snags the paper out of the air. She didn't have a chance of grabbing it. Caleb has to sense how much Tim doesn't want him here. He could not be less welcoming of this man. Tim reads the paper and he asks if Caleb has a last name LOL He says Wright. The irony of that last name...

I doubt our boy even knows why he’s reacting this way to Caleb. Only that he is and very strongly at that. All his feelings when it comes to Lucy are muddled and confusing for him. Yet he acts on them anyway. From the moment this guy showed up the green eyed monster was present. Tim continues to grill him. He asks what he does for a living? Says if it’s a screenwriter he’s going in a cell. He really hates screenwriters haha A theme through out the show for him.

Eric’s facial expressions during this entire scene truly is perfection. Look at the way he looks at Caleb as he leaves. If looks could kill he would be a dead man. Also you can see the mask on Caleb drop when he turns away from them (shudder). The immense distrust written all over Tim's rigid body language. You'd have to be blind not to see it. Both of their faces above are a summary of the entire scene. Lucy is happy to have caught the eye of a 'decent' guy. Tim doesn't trust this guy as far as he can throw him.

Tim doesn’t even think he’s done anything wrong till he turns around and sees her face. Kudos to Melissa for the great reaction. He says 'What?' All innocent like he didn't just drag that guy through the mud. Treat him like a criminal they deal with on the daily. She is so affronted and honestly confused as hell with his reaction. Her face basically saying 'What the hell was that?'

From the moment Caleb shows up to the moment he leaves Tim is NOT pleased with his presence. Lucy is truly confused as to why he is acting this way. She can’t put together why he was trying to kill that entire interaction. We all know Lucy included (deep down) this was jealously thorough and through. But she chalks it up to him being stressed about how crazy everything is right now. Sure that’s it Lucy…She demands the paper back with just her face and outreached hand. Tim is shocked she wants the number of this doofus. He relents and unwillingly hands it back to her. Almost rolling his eyes as he does so.

They’re driving in a caravan to the first burial site. Lucy is looking at Calebs online profile in the car. Tim snaps at her to focus. That this is going to be most dangerous day she’s ever going to spend on the job. Oh the weight of that comment when you know these eps….They both have no idea how true that’s going to be. Might seem like he’s mad when really he’s protecting her by getting her to focus. It’s his way of doing it. I also think it's a little frustration bleeding over from the whole Caleb thing. Not that he's going to put that together right now. Hell doesn't even realize how territorial and jealous he just was.

We rejoin Tim and Lucy once they arrive at the first spot. They're talking about Rosalind during this 'Hike' to find the remaining bodies. Tim asks if she’s less scary in the light of day? Lucy tells him no…but mentions how smart she must be. To have gotten away with this for so long undetected. Lucy smartly mentions there’s a play here they’re not seeing.

Tim tells her it’s just to jerk them around. Oh my love it is far more than that. Lucy is so sharp to observe this hike has to be more than just her deal. She is proven right when they find a fresher body in one of the grave sites with the old one. It’s obvious she has a partner on the outside they just don’t know who…

Lucy is looking at Caleb’s “profile” again. Watching a video of him with a puppy. Jealous/Protective Tim makes his next appearance. Could not be more obvious if he tried. Not a fan of her being enamored by this guy. He makes a snide remark saying I bet that’s not even his puppy. It’s scary how spot on he was with Caleb the entire time. It’s mainly from jealously and being protective of her, but it’s frightening how dead on his cop gut was. He turned out to right about everything with him.

Lucy naturally gives him push back and says she just wants to enjoy a cute puppy. That it’s been an awful day. Can't she just do that? Jealous Tim won't agree with her. So he is a little shit and says 'This your first decomp right? ' Watching her face go from happy to grossed out LOL Oh Tim. He knows how bad this smell is going to be for her and is enjoying it haha The way she follows after him is too funny. Melissa is also amazing at expressing so much as well.

The eerie part of this scene is it’s them being the ones to discover the DOD tattoo… There are so many forewarnings in this episode for her. For them. Literally smacking us in the face with them. That could’ve been her if things had gone wrong... Ugh my heart. They find out the newer victim was suffocated…What an awful way to die. I’m asthmatic and it gives me a pre-asthma attack just thinking about it.

A light hearted part of this scene is once again the lack of personal space. Ah personal space. They don't know her and never will. We're all ok with this notion. Nolan ends up getting Rosalind to lead them to the second site. They find a new body in it with a DOD Tattoo. The freshest one yet. They realize it’s every three months. That 12/09/19 is the the next DOD. John notes it’s 12/08 they have a day to find the next victim.

Tim and Lucy join Armstrong at the jail to search Rosalind cell once again. Trying to find some connection. A way her and this person have been communicating. Nick asks where her books are and they say they sent them back. He asks for every book she's read in the last 6 months.

They’re searching all the books and of course Lucy is the one to crack the code. I love it. Finds something in the binding. Its a coded piece of paper. She figures out the cypher fairly quickly. You know Tim loves how damn smart she is. He’s impressed. She figures out a name from the code. My girl. Bryan Coleman. Funny that doesn’t sound like Caleb Wright….

Harper and Nolan end up saving the next girl. They find out he’s been using the old abandoned zoo as his staging ground. What kills me is them saving her condemns Lucy. They stopped him from scratching that sick itch. Grey tells them all to go home and rest. Lucy spins around and tells Tim she’s just going to go home and crash.

Tim tells her that’s a mistake and gives her the advice that will haunt him in the next episode. Hell for quite awhile if I’m being honest. He will carry this moment with him for a long time. Says after a hardcore assignment she needs to blow off some steam. Find a way to decompress. If she doesn’t she’ll never get any sleep.

Lucy is super cute asking if he's really telling her to go get a drink instead? He tells her yes. Preferably a strong one even with another human being. We all know who that human being is going to be….Side note I adore the fact that he always opens the door for her. Doesn't even realize he's doing that. Just does it out of habit. Her real man standing right in front of her but it is far too early for that hehe

Literally makes me sick to watch her scene with Caleb. My skin crawls knowing where it’s headed. He took advantage of Lucy with her guard down. Her cop eyes we're retired for the night. Just trying to decompress. We go back to the station where Grey tells John and Nick they found a body at the old zoo. Bryan Coleman. Which can only mean one thing as we go back to Lucy. That Caleb is the apprentice….

She goes from giggly and relaxed to sheer terror in a matter of moments. He drugged her and Lucy is slowly realizing the situation she is now in. He also snags her phone before she can use it. Sadly she is over powered easily due the drug he gave her. Then sticks her in the trunk of his car. The ep ends there.

It’s a crazy stressful two-parter. So damn good though. I remember when this first premiered how hard it was to wait for the next episode. I’m pre emotional just thinking about analyzing the next episode. Can’t wait to do it though.

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Side Notes-Non Chenford

Wopez good scenes not many but really good. Wes clearing not handling his post traumatic stress well. Mixing his prescription with alcohol. Angela coming home asking if he was trying to kill himself. He says I don’t know… Not a great answer bud.

The whole Rosalind SL. It’s so dark but so good. Getting a deeper look into Nick and seeing some chinks in his armor. What he sacrificed to catch her. It’s very good. I enjoyed his character a lot and getting more depth with him as well.

Thank you as always to those that like/comment/reblog these reviews. It’s means the world to me. I love doing these and they take time to assemble. But they’re so worth doing to enjoy this rewatch together. I’m also enjoying the hell out of analyzing these eps and our beloved couple. I’ll see you all in 2x11 :)

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likesunsetorange · 3 months

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but she’s actually just a super simple girl who’s actually a bit shy i love her she’s the best girl when she’s not being an absolute fucking menace

her being shy around him after they get over their bump…. what a cutie patootie…..

maybe in hindsight drugging him was a bit overboard!

she’s so cute just being all awkward around eren all of a sudden and he’s just so confused bc just weeks ago she was yelling up a storm but now she gets nervous even asking him if they can go run errands or something like that’s not part of his job LOL 😭

and i love mikasa but even in canon she’s more of a “do first, think later” kind of person lmao, so it’s only reasonable in the bodyguard au her first thought is “let me drug this man to make him so mad he’ll quit”, instead of, “hey maybe i should have a sensible conversation with him!”

#bodyguard au #asks

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castorfell · 3 years

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YOOOO THOSE BOATS GOT LEGS!!!!!!

Aheem. Anyway. I haven't been drawing Human Peoples a lot lately aside from commissions so here are Some Boys

Some notes n stuff about em under the cut

Ten Cents

I am aware his casual jacket looks far removed from the tugs time period but whilst researching 1920s fashion Google would only show me suits and formalwear therefore I had decided to go by the simple rule of "if it was invented after the 20s then I don't care"

(hopefully in future I'll just draw him in his sailor garb only lmao)

Around 18-20 years old but he's got severe baby face syndrom that warrants bullying from fleetmates such as Top Hat

I don't have a set real name for him but the nickname definitely came from him being a tad frugal with money

Allergic to peanuts

After the events of Munitions, he's left with some faint burn scars and a dislike for any work involving oil barges

I am very sorry I gave him all the protag features I just wanted him to look cute

Billy Shoepack

He's mostly deaf due to malpractice with some dynamite on his first days working for the Salvage Fleet

He wears a kerchief because the shape of his actual cap is impossible and I hate it. I also initially thought that was what it was supposed to be when I watched the show for the first time and it's cute

Mullet man

Friendly neighbourhood arsonist

He's the guy people buy cool fireworks from. Don't ask him how he got them, shop policy

In hindsight, I'm unsure if he would be shorter than Sunshine. They would probably be around the same height

Sunshine

Real name is Shawn

He's already quite short and he further accentuates it by slouching

Has a few missing teeth and it caused him to whistle when he speaks. It takes consious effort for him to avoid it

Boomer

Outfit is based off of Donald Duck's 2017 uniform since they're both characters centered around bad luck

He's not super tall or anything but my art style in general is 70% leg and half the human spine. If I ever get around to designing Top Hat then he will be Very Much Leggy Indeed

His streak of bad luck started when he got fired from his previous job with another tug fleet company in a different city.

Only having experience in seafare related jobs and everything going wrong anyway when attempting to apply for other fields of work, Boomer eventually ran out of job oppurtunities and had to move to Bigg City

(at this point he's been jinxed for about a year or more)

Ten Cents and Sunshine found him loitering nervously outside the Port. He was too afraid to continue looking for work knowing his jinx would ruin things

And they did ruin things. Things around Boomer would just suddenly catch on fire or whichever tugboat he was helping on would cause dockside havoc by having their engines jammed or bumping into buoys

Captain Star in a desperate and stressful attempt to find a simple task for Boomer to do that wouldn't end in disaster told him to watch his potted office plant while he was out conducting business. He returned and somehow the almost wilted plant had grown luscious and was even blooming (to which Star didn't even know he owned a flowering plant until then) within the span of like 6 hours

He runs a greenhouse Up River now!! Ten Cents and Sunshine swing by when they can to hang out. They both also have a small potted plant in their tugs' wheelhouse as a gift from Boomer

He gets his ears pierced after becoming a gardener but that is a post for another day

#anyway time to take a 7 hour nap #this is tugs #tugs ten cents #tugs sunshine #tugs boomer #billy shoepack #humanized #castorpng

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feelingofcontent · 2 years

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DNP Rewatch: Trying To Live My Truth

Date video was published: 03/03/2018 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 372

The last true “dinof” video until BIG.

0:03 - Dan does look tired in this video. also, this is the only video where that light-bulb-lamp is actually hanging up

0:18 - that does not look comfortable but I guess that’s kind of the point

0:29 - with the hindsight of knowing he was trying to come out to his family and everything at this point, a lot of things in this video make a lot of sense

0:46 - that was a tangent

0:51 - and here’s the quote from my header and where I got the url/title of this blog from. this resonated immediately with me when he posted this video back in 2018 and it still does

1:09 - adore that Phil must have just had this candid photo of Dan

1:26 - I mean, that would be my first thought too, but then when he explains it (and even talks more about it in YWGTTN) it does make sense

1:40 - it is nice that he specifies “for some people”; it may not apply to everyone

1:45 - they seem to store some stuff in the filming flat kitchen as it’s actually bigger than the living flat one

1:46 - the sad face in the yogurt and then the clown face is nice symbolism for this bit

2:00 - god this still does hit home for me

2:07 - stealing Phil’s glasses

2:12 - and letting Phil beat him up again (like that scene in What NOT to do at University)

2:15 - ouch that binder actually smacked him in the face

2:25 - definitely an important point too

2:22 - absolutely LMAO at this poster he put together. so many details

2:48 - another thing he talks more about in YWGTTN

2:52 - I do think the fish farmer metaphor goes on a bit, lol

3:34 - god this video makes even more sense as a stepping stone to Dan planning to come out later in 2018. he even got the sparkly jacket he would eventually wear in BIG around this time

4:05 - Dan had talked, even for years before this, about how important authenticity was to him

4:22 - this internal debate definitely came through in the very different types of content he posted in 2017

4:34 - and even the detail of “sitting back down” after the yelling out the glass door screen. would love to see what a Dan video script looked like and how many details were included

4:43 - and there’s the “laughter, food, and sex” that is probably one of the lines everyone remembers from this video

4:57 - it does seem like a simple list, but even a simple ask can be much more complicated inside your head

5:03 - Dan was putting himself out there with this video

5:21 - this video also makes me glad in hindsight that he waited another year to come out until he was really ready

5:41 - he does try to keep things a bit lighter with the cut-away clips instead of being super-serious the whole time

5:54 - so much talking-to-himself. that’s a thing from some old Dan videos that he brought back

6:13 - “one tiny impossible step at a time” 🥺

6:28 - annnnd the line everyone focused on. I mean, Dan had to know that was going to get a reaction, but I do see how he was annoyed that some people seemed to only take that away from this video

This is my favorite Dan video. I’m not sure how weird of a choice that is. It was just kind of...the kick I needed at that point in my life, I guess. And a reminder that working towards happiness is a constant thing and doesn’t have to stop even as I get older.

#dan and phil #dnp #dnpRewatch #daniel howell #danisnotonfire #dan howell #daniel howell videos #Trying To Live My Truth

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alolowrites · 3 years

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The Nightly Adventures of a Lost Shopper

Summary: Getting lost at night is one thing. But stumbling upon some crazy beating in a musty back alley? Yeah, no thanks.

Author’s Note: Soooooo, it’s almost been a month since my last story 😅 Work life and gym life really are keeping me busy. Anyways, I was inspired by a prompt I saw on Tumblr and like always, I had to run with this stupid idea lmao. Please enjoy!

Genre: Mafia!AU (if you squint lol) Warnings: Mentions of blood (just a smudge really); reader having no self-control when it comes to grocery shopping loll Word Count: 1.6K+

You stand underneath a flickering streetlight, swiveling your head left and right as though you’re checking for some car to drive by. Everything is so eerily quiet that a squeaky noise makes you jump on the spot. You crane your neck up and sigh—it’s just a lonely traffic light swinging mindlessly in the breeze.

The yellow light blinks nonstop, unaware if it’s broken or maybe it does, and the thing really doesn’t care anymore. You don’t blame the poor traffic light; the streets are more dead than a groundskeeper working the midnight shift at the local cemetery. At least the worker knows where they are.

You, on the other hand, don’t and admit defeat. “Damnit, I’m lost.”

A hiss escapes your lips, and you grip the grocery bags that weigh like a stack of bricks. In hindsight, you should have created a shopping list. There’s a reason why you can’t be trusted with buying your groceries without some plan. Now you’re standing at an empty corner all alone in the middle of nowhere, dealing with two screaming arms and muttering a curse at your dead phone with the awful battery life.

“Alright, let’s just go this way,” you mutter and trudge forward, praying that your bags don’t tear open. You can only handle one problem at a time. Yet, your life is anything but simple. The universe always has something up its sleeve for you, just waiting for the right moment to strike.

Your bags might be intact, and there aren’t any dark clouds threatening to rain on your parade, but you do hear loud grunts in the far distance. They cut through the deafening silence almost instantly. You quirk an eyebrow and waddle closer, curiosity getting the best of you.

Big mistake.

In front of you is a man screaming in agony, crouched over as he endures powerful punches from the red beast towering over him. The blows never stop, each one more brutal and vicious than the last. No shred of mercy given despite the desperate pleads howling into the deep night. You watch helplessly as the final punch is thrown. The sheer force alone breaks the man’s ribs so hard that a sharp pop echoes throughout the narrow alley.

The red-haired guy tugs his personal punching bag and growls, “You ready to talk now?”

“Yes-s.”

“Good, so where’s the money you owe us?”

“At a secret hideout,” he rasps, blood dripping out his swollen mouth. “I-I can take you there a-and give you the money-y. I promise!”

He gets dropped like an old sack. “Drag him to the car.”

“Got it, Big Red.”

Said man finally turns around, and your heart stops. His bright red eyes land on you, blinking in surprise. You stare back at him, wondering if you can just crawl into the disgusting dumpster and hide there. But you don’t move a muscle nor say a word, too shocked at what you’ve just witnessed.

Oh my god, am I an accomplice? You grip the bags tighter in your hands, and his eyes glance at them before looking at you again. Eventually, you mentally slap yourself out of your stupor, blurting out the first thing on your mind.

“I’m sorry!” You stumble backward, legs shaking for dear life. “I-I didn’t see anything! I’m just—gah!”

You spin on your heel, wobbling out of there before who knows what could happen to you. Getting lost at night is one thing. But stumbling upon some crazy beating in a musty back alley? Yeah, no thanks.

“Hey, wait!”

You freeze at the sound of his voice—it’s rough and commanding but not too intimidating. His footsteps falter, and you quietly count to ten before turning around, your bags rustling behind your legs. The man (Big Red was it?) stares at you, almost like he’s figuring out where you fit in this bizarre puzzle he’s trying to solve.

Meanwhile, your eyes bounce between him and the barely conscious punching bag that’s being dragged to the black SUV, leaving a trail of red droplets in its wake. You swallow a tiny gulp; this is all too much.

“Listen, I swear I didn’t see anything,” you exclaim, jumping on the defense. Seconds later, you wince at your mistake. “Okay, that’s a lie, b-but I promise I won’t say a word! I mean, not like I can call the cops on you since my phone is dead—”

“Huh? Wait a sec—”

“—which is honestly terrible since I’m lost! Do you know how long I’ve been walking all night? I’ll tell you: an eternity! And my arms feel like they’re about to fall apart any second now because these bags,” you shake them like a pair of maracas, “ are heavy!”

“Hey—”

At this point, you start airing out all your grievances in one go.

“I think there’s a pebble inside my left shoe, rolling around like it owns the place. My house keys keep pinching me against my hip, and one of my shoelaces feels so loose that it’s probably untied, waiting for me to trip.” Suddenly, the stress becomes overwhelming that your lips quiver. “It’s super late right now. I’m all alone and scared and—and,” you thrash the bags while wailing, “and my ice cream is melting!”

You inhale sharply like a person reaching the water’s surface after a deep dive. Your face is flushed, and your heart beats a mile per second, the adrenaline soaring through your veins as you finish your explosive rant. Eventually, you calm down and remember who is standing in front of you. Big Red looks on in astonishment, his mouth gaping like a fish.

...I can’t believe I just did that.

“Oh, god. I...I-I’m sorry,” you stammer, ducking your head and closing your eyes as a feeble attempt to protect yourself. “Please don’t hurt me!”

“Hurt you?” You bravely peek at Big Red, who sports a concerned look. He cautiously steps forward with his hands raised. “I don’t wanna hurt you, trust me.”

You snap your head up in disbelief. “Y-You don’t?”

“Of course not,” he says, giving you a gentle smile that washes some of your fears away. Big Red takes another step closer. “Why would you think that I’d hurt you?”

You give him a ridiculous stare. “No offense, but you did beat up that guy into a bloody pulp; I’m pretty sure he has no ribs left.”

Big Red laughs, catching you off guard. He jerks his thumb at the parked car and gives you a lopsided grin. “Oh, him? He’s just business. I would never harm an innocent civilian, though. It’s part of the code.”

“Part of the code?” You scrunch your eyebrows. Then it hits you. “Oh...Ohhh.”

Everything makes sense now. The suspicious, burly men with fancy suits. The rather gruesome violence in a random yet bare alleyway. The vague demand for money that’s owed. Yup, you walked into an unfortunate episode with the mafia; just your luck. You raise one finger, mouth ready to say something but then decide against it.

Big Red notices your hesitation, scratching behind his neck like a guilty puppy. “Look, I’m sorry you had to see that. I didn’t mean to scare ya’ with all the blood and violence and, well, you know…” He laughs awkwardly, making the corners of your lips quirk.

His voice is so soft and gentle that your breath hitches. It’s unbelievable that this is the same man who was growling like a wild beast before. The memory fades away as you judge his words, realizing that there isn’t any malicious intent behind them; he is honest and sincere.

Perhaps Big Red is right—maybe he won’t hurt you. If he did, he would have done it by now. Instead, he flashes a friendly grin that brightens the entire block, unlike those deadbeat street lights. The grin alone is enough to make you relax and crack a small smile at him.

“Alrighty then,” you hum, tapping one finger on your grocery bag that miraculously hasn’t broken yet. Stepping back, you start making your exit. “I guess I’ll leave you to finish your, um, business.”

“Whoa, hold on!” Big Red squeezes your shoulder, stopping you mid-way. Without warning, he tugs the bags out of your grasp. You jump as his massive hands momentarily brush along your skin, making you fumble over your words like an idiot. Big Red then shouts over his shoulder to his buddies. “Go on without me, guys. I gotta help this sweet peanut here get back home.”

Your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. Sweet peanut? Get back home? Him carrying your grocery bags?

“Please, you really don’t need to—”

“I want to,” he cuts you off, his warm eyes and boyish grin leaving you speechless. Big Red adjusts the bags without breaking a single sweat. “Listen, you’ve been through a lot tonight; let me take you back home.”

You gawk at him. “Are you sure?”

“Yup!” He puffs out his chest and gives you a wink. “Besides, you won’t be scared or alone when you’re with me.”

Well, you can’t argue with that.

“I guess I won’t,” you chuckle, bowing your head slightly. “Thank you, Big Red.”

“Kirishima.”

“What?”

“My name is Kirishima,” he repeats, a blush creeping on his cheeks. “But-t Big Red is fine, too.”

You share your name and cheekily joke, “But Sweet Peanut is fine, too.”

Kirishima’s face lights up like the stars scattered across the night sky, absolutely smitten with you to the bone. He purposefully takes the longest route back to your house, hoping to spend as much time with you as possible. Luckily, you don’t mind—he is charming and sweet.

Guess it wasn’t so bad getting lost after all.

As always, thanks for reading!

#kirishima eijirou x reader #kirishima x reader #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #kirishima eijirou

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elefics · 4 years

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torment / chapter 1

First chapter for torment! Basically setting up Lyla’s character and background, and how she ended up at the Academy. The juicy stuff is coming soon hehe

As long as I can remember, as a kid, I felt like I didn't belong. I didn't fit in, and always felt just slightly out of place. Like, don't get me wrong, I could probably have led a normal, relatively happy life outside of the coven. But I would never have found my place.

One of my earliest memories is levitating during recess in third grade.

I was playing hide and seek with my best friends – but everyone is your best friend at that age, or so I thought. It was one of those moments...when you're hiding in a dark corner of the playground, breathing hard from the adrenaline coursing through your tiny body at the thought of being found, smelling bark and sweat and salami sandwiches, where time and space doesn't exist. You're so focused on hiding, on making yourself invisible and winning the game, that you forget who and where you are. I forgot. And I paid the price.

When I finally opened my eyes, I wasn't in a dark corner of the playground. I was floating seven feet in the air, and below me were the horrified expressions of my friends and teachers. Frozen in time. That moment is frozen in my memory forever. It was the first time that I realised I wasn't just weird, but special. There were powers inside me that other people, and even myself, didn't understand yet.

My teachers, missing a handbook on protocol for dealing with young witches coming into their powers, did the only thing they knew to do - sent me to the office. The other kids were still shaking like leaves, hiding behind our teachers' legs like toddlers.

My mother picked me up an hour later. I ignored the concerned glares of the office ladies. Mom and I got McDonald's, like we always did when I had a doctor's appointment or a day off. At the time, it felt completely natural. I thought she just 'got it', like floating in mid-air was a regular Tuesday occurrence. In hindsight, I remember her staring at me with a mix of fear and awe through the rear-view mirror. She was shitting herself, and didn't know what to do next.

She sent me back to school the next day, which was the worst possible option.

The other kids had grown braver and meaner overnight. I was their new favourite toy and punching bag. They called me a witch, and I took it as an insult. (If only I knew!) They called me evil, ugly, dirty. They said I'd grow fat moles and that my skin would turn green. They told me to stay away from them. So I did.

Within a month, I didn't have a single friend. They were repulsed and terrified of me, but loved to poke fun from a distance. All I wanted to do was play handball or tag.

"Lyla. Enough is enough." Mom said one night over dinner.

I was playing with the food on my plate, but not with a fork. I made them spin and dance, like a potato and broccoli ballet. My face fell, and so did my dinner, collapsing sadly onto the ceramic. Gravy splattered onto my thumb.

I apologised. I learned to push my powers deep down inside of me. Whenever I felt like they'd spill out, I pinched the skin near my knee. It kept me grounded and in control.

In tenth grade, I pinched myself so hard I bruised. It still wasn't enough.

I'd kept to myself and stayed out of everybody's way, from my mother to my teachers. I was the quiet polite girl who sat in the back of class and got her homework in on time. I minded my own fucking business. That was, until Mrs Brooks called me a freak in front of our entire geography class.

Mrs Brooks ended up with a broken arm and I ended up in the principal's office. I hadn't actually touched her at all, and I guess that was what scared my teachers. I hadn't been called into an office since third grade. Mom was already there, sitting in one of the black fold-out chairs, with her keys in her hand and glassy eyes. She held a few sheets of paper in her hands. Signing me out, surely. We'd be at the drive-thru in twenty minutes.

Mr Petersen, our grey-haired principal with a passion for 'fun' ties, sat beside my mother, with his hands neatly in his lap. He had been whispering softly to Mom, but stopped as soon as I approached. He looked at me with sad, brown eyes.

His tie had dinosaurs on it. It feels stupid that that is the one thing I remember so clearly.

"Hi," I said quietly from the doorway. I scrunched the hem of my tee-shirt up in my hand.

The disappointment was palpable. Mom ignored me completely, like looking up at me would make it all so much worse. She stared at my converse, or the carpet, or the fish tank humming gently by the door. Anything but me. Her leg bounced up and down, like she'd had too many coffees that morning. But it was two in the afternoon and her nerves had nothing to do with caffeine.

Two men in suits approached the office. For a moment the sinking feeling in my stomach froze me in place, blocking the door. Shaking off the feeling, I stepped aside to let the men in. Their suits were far too nice for a small town like ours. I'd assumed they were here for some important government business with the principal.

They smiled softly and shook their heads, almost in sync.

"Mom? What's going on?" I asked. Panic was bubbling in my throat like bile.

The realisation came as one single, simple thought: They're here for me.

Their hands were tight around my upper arms and wrists like shackles. They barely struggled.

"Mom! Mr Petersen! Mr - what's going - where are they taking me? Mom!" I kicked and screamed until my throat was hoarse. After a while, I went numb. Wherever these men were taking me, I was helpless. They were so much bigger, taller, older, scarier, than fifteen-year-old me. A small part of me, deep, deep inside, thought, wherever they're taking me, it has to be better than here.

---

"Happy birthday Lyla!" Zoe yelled, tackling me into a hug in the middle of the kitchen.

"Keep your voice down," I laughed. It was barely seven in the morning.

I loved the way the light streamed in through the kitchen windows here. Making my morning cup of tea was my favourite part of my day. Or at least one of them.

There were a lot of favourite parts now.

"I will not. It's not every day you turn eighteen." She said as she stirred a bowl of pancake batter.

I smiled softly, pouring the milk into my mug. Watching the white-brown patterns swirl, I couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" Zoe smiled.

"I'm just really glad to be here. I didn't think I'd make it to eighteen a few years ago." I surprised myself with my candour so early in the morning.

"Well, I'm very glad to have you here. We all are." Zoe's warmth brightened the entire room. I believed her.

"Morning girls. Happy birthday, Lyla." Cordelia descended the stairs with her usual poise, already dressed and made up. Her smile faded after quick greetings were exchanged.

"I need you to wake the other girls and get dressed. We have visitors coming."

---

A/N: Hey! I've started this fic as I fun exercise to get myself to start writing again. I finally watched season 8 of AHS so now I'm obsessed, and I haven't really written anything substantial in like a year, so I figured I'd use this passion/interest and make something of it!

God, I've missed fanfic writing. (I wrote The 1975 fics on Wattpad when I was like 13/14 and they're pretty tragic but they were so fun...so I'm back!) I just wanted to say that while this is based in America, I'm not super familiar with American schooling systems (and I'm sure there are other things I'll slip up on)...so things might be just slightly out of whack for you guys. I'm Australian, so I'm going to base the ages/grades off our system and assume the system in the US can't be that drastically different (e.g. in grade ten I was fifteen). A lot of this fic won't be based on formal schooling systems anyway but I thought it was worth a mention. Just go with it lmao. Super keen to keep writing! x

Taglist: (tiniest ever, let me know if you want to be added!)

@angelicmichael @theneverendinghunger @outpostmichael

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avengemebuckyy · 4 years

Text

Be Careful

Summary:

You tell Bucky to be careful with your heart. Too late he realizes you should have been careful with his.

or:

You’re awkward,odd, and not the most conventionally attractive yet you’re the only woman that Bucky sees

Warnings: manipulation

Authors note: Back from the dead lmao. This is probably trash but I just needed to force myself to finish something it order to try to get back in the groove! Feedback is more than greatly appreciated, it’s what keeps me writing tbh...

PS. You ain’t shit in this lmao

---

You weren’t the most eye-catching. You didn’t look like the girls Bucky used to chase after in his younger years, or the girls on the internet he’d find himself staring at once he’d discovered Instagram, endlessly scrolling through picture after picture, lost in a sea of beautiful bodies and faces. You didn’t look like the tall slim blonde agent he’d always make a point to hold open the door for, or his neighbor’s daughter in Wakanda, who had had dark skin so smooth and a face so perfect he’d never managed to say more than two words to her.

You were slightly awkward, with a slightly odd sense of humor, always cracking jokes that sometimes no one laughed at but you. But you didn’t care, you would laugh at them all the same. You wore baggy clothes, and not the fashionable baggy kind either. Your favorite outfit was baggy camo print cargo pants and an old grey band t-shirt, logo so faded it was almost impossible to decipher.

At first Bucky didn’t pay you much attention. He wasn’t rude, but he treated you with the same gruff stoicism he treated everyone with. Well everyone besides Sam, Steve, and Natasha. Besides he only saw you rarely, you were a high level agent thanks to your skill, but you didn’t work closely with the team very often. Until you did.

One mission with Clint was all it took to have your name thrust forward when Fury was looking to fill a coordinator position. Suddenly you were everywhere. Coordinating their positions on missions, even going on missions with different members of the team. You fit in well with the team, your corny jokes and generally happy disposition make you easy to like. Your apartment was five minutes away, thanks to Tony, so you would often eat breakfast with the team and stay at the Tower well into the night, often crashing in a room designated for you, also thanks to Tony.

You were like a deceptively shallow river Bucky would think after. One minute he was wading through your shallows, next moment he was being taken under by your currents, realizing too late that he was in deeper than he thought possible.

It started slowly, you would make an effort to make conversation with Bucky, never seeming off put by his non answers. Bucky found himself coming to you with numerous questions on how to work social media, you would give such long winded explanations he wouldn’t have to embarrass himself with asking questions. Soon he found himself seeking you out for more than explanations. Funny thing is you were the one who introduced him to Instagram, to the beautiful women on the app but eventually he found himself unable to see any woman but you.

Bucky found himself sitting with you at lunch, looking out the window in the mornings waiting to catch sight of your army green jacket. He’d sit with you in the afternoons as you did your paperwork, steal glances at you ,your forehead always shiny by midday with an almost ever-present patch of acne, eyebrows scrunched together as you filled out mission reports. He loved those quiet moments the most. Bucky wasn’t good with words, not anymore. But he would help carry the 10 pound boxes of paperwork, always bring an extra pen in case yours ran out of ink, and constantly would bring you your favorite Starbucks order. He secretly hoped that you would read the affection behind his actions.

You didn’t usually go to Stark’s parties, you’d rather go to bars and clubs with your friends.

“The crowd at Stark’s parties just aren’t my crowd,” you’d explained with a shrug, toeing the floor with your scuffed sneakers. Bucky had nodded in understanding. They usually weren’t his crowd either, but he’d always go to support Steve, who was pretty much expected to show face.

But for some reason you show up to this party. Four months into your blossoming friendship (and Bucky’s crush). Bucky wasn’t prepared for what you were wearing. When he heard the agents whispering about your unexpected appearance at the party he half expected to see you in jeans and a t- shirt. Or even your cargo pants. At the sound of your name Bucky zeros into the muttered conversation.

“Did you see her?”

“Yeah, damn.”

“Was not expecting that. Or her to even show up. Who knew?”

“She’s kinda hot, not gonna lie. In a weird way”

Bucky turns his head scanning the crowd, heart rate already picking up, fully expecting to see your sweat-pant clad form. He sees you alright. But not in sweatpants. A red dress barely covers your figure. Hemline way above the halfway mark of your thighs and twin slits in the skirt reaching up to your hips. A draping halter neck ties at your neck and completely exposes your back and gives a generous view of your tits. He catches flashes of the curve of your ass as you walk.

In hindsight the dress was totally in line with your character. You didn’t dress the way you did because you were ashamed of your body but rather because you didn’t give a fuck. Your hair is pinned up, one perfect curl escaping your updo and kissing your neck. Bucky feels his heart stop. He spies numerous heads turning as you languidly weave through the crowd in dangerously thin stilettos. You cozy up to one of your agent friends and the two of you drink, giggle, and dance. Bucky can’t take his eyes off of you.

When you head to the balcony he follows.

“Hey,” you say when you spy his shadow darkening the entrance to the balcony.

“Hey,” he gruffs, in a tone he fears is too quiet. But looking at the curve of your exposed back suddenly has his voice dying in his throat. You turn back to looking at the city skyline. Bucky steps forward next to you. Close. Closer than he’s ever been to you, painfully aware of your arms brushing. He can’t fully feel your skin through the long sleeve button down he’s wearing but the touch sets him on fire all the same.

“Needed some air. “ He eventually grumbles. Trying not to stare at your profile. You look at him then, wearing a sly expression he had never seen on you.

“I’m sure you did,”

After that it doesn’t take long for Bucky to gather up the courage after that. Maybe it’s the way you had looked at him on the balcony or the way both male and female agents were sniffing around you at the party. All the same about a week later Bucky finds himself heading to your office in the afternoon as usual, but this time holding a bouquet of flowers.

Afterwards Bucky falls in love with you hard and fast. He finds himself doting on you, taking you out, bringing you flowers and other tokens of his affection. He hears the whispers, it’s almost impossible not to with his super soldier hearing.

“How’d she’d get him,”

“What an odd couple,”

“The Winter Soldier’s with cargo pants?”

But he still holds your hand in public all the same. Stops in the middle of training recruits to kiss you whenever you happen to cut across the gym all the same. Keeps a picture of you in his wallet all the same.

Bucky has never felt this amount of care and comfort from a person since...ever, even before, in his other life. You put his boots by the heater in the winter when he sleeps over so his feet won’t freeze when he walks to the compound. You listen to him, even when he’s angry, raging at nothing, or when he’s sad and sullen, taking minute long pauses in between sentences. Or even when he wants to do nothing but sit in silence and hold you. You especially listen when his words come fast, tinged with self hatred. You reassure him, holding him like he’s fine china. After many late night musings you give him with the best present he’s ever gotten, an impossibly soft kitten who’s uncharacteristically loud purr always grounds him. Bucky finds himself able to open up with you in a way he can’t with anyone else, even Steve. Bucky’s not good with words anymore, but with you he’s amazing. He can’t stop singing your praises, lavishing you with sweet words and adoration.

In hindsight it was a warning.

“Sweetheart, your wallet must be screamin’ for mercy, with you buying this cake nearly everyday,” Bucky says pinching off a piece of the lemon pound cake which is almost always at the corner of your desk. He recognizes the cake from a bakery across the street, and knows its nearly four dollars a slice. You stretch cracking your back, nipples poking through your shirt. Your ever present band shirt had breathed its last breath, and this new shirt is thinner and cropped, and hugs your body closer.

“Not really, I don’t buy it, Tommy hooks me up” you say, shooting him a smile and then returning back to your paperwork.

“Tommy?” Bucky says, and unbidden hot jealousy sears through his chest at the mention of your coworker “He’s always buying you these?”

“Yeah,” you answer, not looking up, and Bucky tells himself to remain calm, unbothered.

He doesn’t.

Later after the subsequent fight and make up Bucky holds you as the two of you sit on his bed.

“I’m sorry,” He says again.

“It’s alright,” you say and somehow your simple words draw the truth out of him.

“I’m just...I- I’m afraid of losing you.”

“I’m afraid of losing you too,” you confess, then pause “Bucky, please be careful with me,”

Your relationship was easy, comforting. The two of you almost never fought, and never grew tired of being with each other. One blissful year turned into two and then five. It was like a dream and Bucky never wanted to wake up.

But reality eventually did.

How closely you guarded your phone should have tipped him off. How you’d constantly declined calls while the two of you were together. The way you almost always got ‘too drunk’ on girls night and would end up crashing at your friend’s place.

The first time it’s sixth months into your relationship on a lazy Saturday. The two of you had ordered pizza and planned to cuddle on the couch and have a movie marathon. You were in the bathroom when your phone had vibrated. Knowing that you would get a notification when the pizza arrived Bucky had looked at your phone. Bucky had felt surprised to see the name Dominos instead of an unsaved number pop up on your screen. Your phone didn’t show the preview of the text like his did. Your phone was still unlocked since you had headed to the bathroom but a few seconds ago, so Bucky tapped to open the text.

Dominos: [Can’t wait to see you again, beautiful]

Bucky’s blood had run cold. He froze, only unfreezing when he realized you were standing next to him.

“We aren’t exclusive!” you had defended.

“What the hell do you mean?” Bucky had growled. At that your face had crumbled, eyes filling with tears.

“You never asked me to be your girl.” you had looked away “We never talked about what we are,”

“Whaddya think we’ve been doing these past months?!” Bucky had yelled back,

“ I don't know. I don’t assume Bucky. Because guys always seem to want to date me, treat me like their girlfriend and then turn around and throw it in my face that they never said I was.” your voice breaks and so does Bucky's anger. He hadn’t been very verbal with you so far. It’s true he never asked you to be his girl, or even verbally on a date. He just thought you both knew. Guilt fills him at the sight of your tear stained face.

“I’m sorry I was just preparing for the inevitable,” you say and turn away. Bucky grabs your arm and pulls you towards him.

“Well, let me make it clear. I want you to be my girl. I want you to be mine and mine alone.”

Your expression is unfathomable as you wind your arms around his neck.

“I am yours.”

That night you stand in front of Bucky and wordlessly slip out of your sweatpants and t shirt, rendering him speechless. With reverence Bucky’s hands trace your frame and his mouth follows. That night he worships you.

Later, you wrap your arms around him and whisper

“I love you,”

And Bucky knows that he’s done for.

“I love you too sweetheart.” he says, and later still when you’ve fallen asleep Bucky lies awake, stroking the soft contours of your back. He’s done for. And he knows it.

“I’ll be careful,” he whispers.

Reality had tried to wake Bucky gently. Through warning signs that should have been loud and clear especially to an ex assassin. But Bucky had accepted your half baked truths and excuses. He was too far gone off of the drug that was your love to heed the warning signs until reality slapped him- no choked him, awake.

His awakening came in the form of the sight of you on your kitchen counter, a man kneeling in between your spread thighs. The flowers he had bought you on his way back from his mission that had ended early drop to the floor. Bucky freezes. But at the sight of Tommy’s face, cheeks slick with you he loses it. Next thing he realizes that he has his hands around your coworkers throat. But your hand on his shoulder drains the fight out of him, and as Tommy scrambles out of the apartment Bucky crumples to the floor and sobs.

“Why?” He asks and he realizes he’s not just asking about now, but about all the times he’s caught you cheating but didn’t have the strength to leave you.

“Baby” you say and gather him into your arms. He wants to pull away, thrash, yell, but he doesn’t. He just melts into your touch. You make him weak. And at night when he thinks about your excuses and half truths he hates himself for it.

“Why do you keep doing this to me?” he says, sobs wracking his frame “Five years-did they mean nothing to you?”

“I’m sorry,” you say “I love you,”

At this Bucky pulls away, standing. “Don’t fucking lie to me.” he hisses.

“I’m not,” you say standing “I might lie all the time but I’m not lying about this.” your eyes go soft at the corners, and start to water.

“No. I love you. I adore you. I’d give you anything-everything and you treat me like shit” Bucky spits, there’s a pain in his chest, his heart is breaking “And I just fucking take it, because you make me so fucking weak- and I hate it” another sob ribs from his chest. A part of him thinks that this is his punishment. For all of the terrible things he’s done. Cursed to be in love with someone who will never truly love him back. He looks at you, your hair is in disarray, baggy t shirt, those fucking cargo pants around your ankles. He gives a bitter laugh “Who woulda thought that you would’ve been the one to make me weak.”

“Why? Because I’m not pretty?” hurt flashes across your face then your eyes go hard. Usually Bucky would have been quick to refute any self deprecating words, reassuring you how beautiful he found you, how gorgeous you were. But now he just lifts his chin and looks back at you with the same hard eyes.

“Well I know I’m not pretty.” you shrug, face going strangely expressionless “But you still fell for me all the same. More fool you.” you say, and after a moment continue. “We should break up.”

At this Bucky shatters. Because he knows deep down that even after all of this he still would have taken you back. He still wants to grovel at your feet and plead to try to fix your relationship. But instead he decides to finally choose himself and turns and walks out of the door and out of your life.

Year later he still finds himself looking at your picture in his wallet, the one remnant of you he has left, that he can’t bear to get rid of. On lonely nights where he can’t sleep and can’t stand the coldness of his bed he’ll trace the curve of your smile and wish that you had cared enough to have been careful with him.

Tags:@stephie-senpai@ayeputita@pixierox101@iamwarrenspeace@ dreamgirljere @ufffg@pietrotheavenger @trinityjadec@abbytagg@wastedsummerss@turdblossommm@jimmyisfab@sev7en@hottrashformarvel @superbuckytrash@waidewilson@abbytagg @awkwardfangirl2014 @desir-ae

Bucky only @chamongangae@callmebucky-doll

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky imagine #Bucky Barnes #marvel angst #marvel reader insert #marvel imagine #bucky x reader

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lesbian-kyoru · 4 years

Note

5 + 23

5. Share one of your strengths.

oh gosh hmmmmmm well i think one of my biggest strengths is my prose! i’m admittedly very longwinded LMAO, but i think that that style is really well-suited to the type of fics that i write, which are lots of emotions and yearning and Big Feelings....i think i’m good at really bringing out the little meaningful details in everything, at choosing my words very carefully and making sure that all of them matter, and at being really specific and intentional in my prose, especially when i’m describing what the characters are thinking and feeling. i am a simple woman i love pretty words and To Feel

23. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

okay this question was so interesting bc everything i’ve written for fruits basket has been in the past two months, so i don’t really consider any of them as older fics yet? BUT i used to write for eruri lmao and i think it would be super fun to revise Art and Poorly Wired Circuits: An IT Love Story, which is about levi having a broken computer and erwin being a hot Best Buy employee skdjjsjdjsj. i still think the premise is really funny lol, but i wrote it in 2017 and so my writing style has changed a TON since then (also some of it is just really cringy and heavy handed in hindsight bc i was trying to make dramatic points about Art and Inspiration 🤡). i also just think i’m a bit funnier now than i was at age 17, so i also think i could improve the comedy and dialogue if i revised it skjskskdksks

send me a writers ask 💖

#ty for the ask sophie ily!!#you making me dig up my old snk fics.....absolutely cursed of you.....#ask #zoe.txt

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abendrotbrav · 4 years

Text

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 & 𝐍𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄; 𝘔𝘶𝘯 & 𝘔𝘶𝘴𝘦 - 𝘔𝘦𝘮𝘦.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐈𝐒: canon / OC / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK (she oc???)

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK (have you seen them thighs)

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK (weak noodle arms)

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO / IDK

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO / IDK

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. / ?

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖 ‘ 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 ’ ? — Preeeeeeeeeeetty well???

𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄! 𝐀𝐤𝐚 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐬. — Slaps the roof of my blog- this lady got trauma that can’t just be erased! She got horrible coping mechanisms! She got climactic moments built into her personality! She has a complex character and way of viewing the world! She got (uni)verses and she got verses (poetry)! Get your Sophia now for the low low price of only your soul a month! Order noW!

𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐄, 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤?). — You have to dig into her to get to the juicy parts because she tries to portray herself as a simple somewhat ditzy girl, and that can get super annoying to have to constantly fight her to pull apart. Likewise, she’s going to be fake to your muse for a long ass time. Also, since she’s a people pleaser who likes being liked, there’s a lot of interactions where she will yes man to other muses which can stifle the variety of interactions you get out of her at first.

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐎 𝐑𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄? — Spite and soda. Seriously though. A very much ex-friend wanted to rp with, in hindsight, a very specific type of muse to ship his own oc with. I said “okay i’ll make a [type of character stereotype in question] but i’m gonna do it realistically.” That was Sophia 1.0 Beta Edition. Spoilers: said ex-friend was absolutely not satisfied with not getting the ship he wanted IDSUHNFK...

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆? — Spite and soda. BUT NOT SERIOUSLY (somewhat seriously) I really like doing things that are fun to me?? I like making complex and like, real-feeling characters. If you could see my character in a real-life setting, in the sense of like, getting that somebody could turn out that way, I’ve half-won. I also really like making characters... not sympathetic but like, you get them. If I can make somebody be able to feel alongside my muses, even if they don’t support them or even like them, that’s my second half-won because that’s one of the coolest powers of writing, to me!

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO / IDK / I HOPE

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / IS ANYONE, EVER?

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO / KINDA???

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO / KIND OF

𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐌 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐋 — I think so?? I think with OC’s it can get a bit awkward with criticism because there isn’t a canon to compare to, but I totally get where some can come from especially on how muns handle certain issues. But I’m totally open to criticism where it’s coming from a good place if that makes sense??

𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒, 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑? — Oh my gosh so much yes! I love fleshing out my characters!! I love when I get a question I’m not sure of the answer to cause it means I get to dig deep and really think about my character, and likewise, love ones I immediately go “oh i GOTCHU FAM” because then I get to share more about my character!!

𝐈𝐅 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐀 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒, 𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐖𝐇𝐘? — I mean all of my headcanons are about my own oc so i’m not sure how that would work esdhnijkf BUT I DIGRESS!! Yeah honestly go for it!! As long as someone doesn’t try to change my approach cause they disagree with a hc then yeah! I’m open to discussion and I don’t mind disagreeing, but I’m pretty stubborn admittedly on some stuff due to past experience.

𝐈𝐅 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐋, 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓 ? — Go for it? As long as, again, they don’t try to pressure me into changing it. I’ve had bad experience in the past with people (in past forums, not on here, luckily!) getting their own portrayal and ideas about my muses (canon and oc) so strongly against mine that I would get like messages CONSTANTLY about it, it was miserable. So at this point- ya disagree, ya disagree. Just don’t try to shove your viewpoint down my throat to make me change my muse awbhejsdmf...

𝐈𝐅 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑, 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓 ? — Can I be honest and say, yeah it stilts my ooc interactions a bit? I mean, I play some pretty nasty folks at times, so I totally get it, but I get nervous interacting with people that would flat out just hate a muse because I get... worried about ic/ooc leak? See above for where that comes from adsnjkfcv... I love when ic other muses don’t like mine, even if my own muses don’t like it, because it’s variety! It rocks! But ooc I like to be passionate about my muses, so I don’t know how I’d interact with someone who hated them?? I won’t try to stop someone from hating my muse but I honestly don’t know how I’d interact beyond “yeah my muse can suck lmao.” I really respect people who rp villains and fandom hated characters or just right proper nasty pieces of works as a result?? I dunno how y’all do it but you’re amazing!!

𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐑𝐒 ? — I mean as long as it’s not the only thing we’re talking about, yeah!!

𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐘 𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐌𝐔𝐍 ? — i THINK SO?? I’m generally very shy and nervous but very full of passion so I think I can come off as maybe intimidating? And admittedly I’m bad at reaching out to people I haven’t already interacted with. But I really try my best to be friendly too so, there’s that!!

𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵, 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵!

tagged by: you know what you did tagging: you. yes, specifically you. i am a psychic. yes, that thing you did last Tuesday WAS kinda weird but i won’t judge. fill this out.

#hide and go seek in the dark.dash games #((wheeezes

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dawnblade · 4 years

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my school was so like, lenient with typing tests. we did have to cover our keyboards but the tests were sooo simple. like all we had to do was memorize a couple letters from like one row at a time and type a couple super simple words, from what i remember

dont remember ever doing anything super difficult like having to type out paragraphs or something without looking at the keyboard and typing without looking was never enforced outside of tests

cool but also in hindsight its probably why i still need to look down at the keyboard and do a slightly more advanced version of pecking LMAO

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

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Rites of Passage

TJ: Bodhi – I don’t know that much about you, but I’ve heard you are a crackhead, so I guess I’m ok having saved the experience of playing TS with you for a different time. It would have made the original tribes a lot more interesting to say the least, lol.

AMIR: I am so angerry we didn’t get to play together!!! I wanted to work with you back in Survivor Cutthroat and when I saw you were cast on this season i was excited to play with u again and was robbed of the opportunity AGAIN! u were also the only person on this cast that i have played with previously so the familiarity was lovely, so anyways u were robbed even tho you got like a 35 in the first challenge luv u always

AUTUMN: I wish we had gotten to play together longer! I’m glad we’re in another game together because I think you’re a cool guy and I appreciate your humor, honesty, and just candor about everything. I know in the moment the vote felt very hurtful but it was purely about the challenge and wanting Thoth to be as strong as possible moving forward (little did we know what was coming lmaaaaoo)

TJ: Trace – Another person I never got to meet in this game, but everything I heard from the Brains that I did get to talk to was that you were a super nice guy and really respectable. Sorry this season didn’t work out for you; I think we all know we can just blame Thoth for being a cursed tribe!

AMIR: We never got to meet :( may b in the afterlife

AUTUMN: I hope you’re well! Honestly your death felt like true Survivor because the target was someone else but once Devon and I found out that you had made an alliance with everyone except us, I flipped it and said you had to be the one to go. I think the game would’ve been completely different had you stayed because there’s no way you would’ve let me get this far and once I realized you wanted me on the bottom, I was like ok Trace is the real deal he knows I’m trouble hahaha. You’re a great guy though and I hope you understand it was just game

TJ: Isaac – The third person I have never met in this game (I feel bad, Autumn is going to be the only one of us three who can actually say anything about these first three). I know you brought an interesting dynamic to the tribe based on the tribals I had watched, so kudos to you for being able to make an impact on the tribe. Another person I think we can just blame Thoth and not really blame anything gameplay wise, lol.

AMIR: Bane of my existence but also taken way too soon from us smh, you didn't deserve to be on cursed ass thoth, rip in peace’s sweet bottom

AUTUMN: You’re so sweet and wholesome and I really miss our conversations. I was being dumb and naive when you told me Scott and Duncan were a duo because I was an alliance with them and Devon. So I very much wanted to believe we were rock solid but YOU KNEW!! You called it before anyone else and for that, I stan. That alliance is literally the reason you want home and I just didn’t want to turn on them at the time. But in hindsight you were right about a lot of things and I appreciate your kindness and maturity about it all even though you were lowkey robbed

TJ: Austin – I never thought that we would reconnect after a few years away from being on the same site, so it was a great surprise to realize that you and I had actually played a couple games together in the past. I wish we had more than 24 hours together to maybe see what a future in this game could have been like. You are just as genuine of a guy as I remember you being, so that was really nice for me to see.

AMIR: Hello king of dairy queen, we honestly never talked too too much but you always were really nice to me and everyone else on hathor, and even after you were voted out, you were kind and left so gracefully

AUTUMN: You were so fun to talk to and if it weren’t for Devon’s mist I would’ve saved you lmao. I almost wish that twist hadn’t happened because had we met at a normal swap, I think our good vibes could’ve turned into a great alliance and we got along super well. It was nice getting to know you in the time we had though and I hope we get a chance to really play together one day

TJ: Lovelis – I can’t apologize enough for having to vote you off both as early as I did and how I did so. I’ve played now two seasons of the Challenge with you, but I found that I built a better bond with you this season than those two seasons combined, and then it just snowballed into this giant series of unfortunate events the tribal we had to go to and there was nothing that I could do. I’m genuinely so sorry for not being able to tell you what was going on and hope there’s a small chance you may understand sometime down the line.

AMIR: I never got to meet you unfortunately but I always thought your name was pronounced Love-El-Leez and then someone said “Loveless” and i was shookums

AUTUMN: SIR WHERE DID YOU GO??? I love that you don’t give a single fuck though haha because mood and I love dramatic exits- do you boo

TJ: AJ – Other than a brief convo during the Osiris vote, you and I never really got to meet. From what I did see, you seem like a really nice person and one that I think got voted out way too early. Hopefully I can verify that myself in another game if there is one in our future, but I wish we had been able to meet and see what could have been!

AMIR: You are so funny and and one of my fav people from Hathor 1.0 when it was such a simple time, also your winter bells score was inhumane and you had a great presence to be around, i just had a hard time ever trusting u and ya hehe

AUTUMN: ROBBED KING!! We didn’t really get to meet but thank you for sticking up for Adam on Hathor and for being honest with him. Although it led to a crazy divide amongst the beauties that lasted the whole game lmao (cmon impact!), I think that takes character to step out on a limb for someone especially when it risks your game. Merge would’ve been so much more iconic with you since I’m rooting for everyone brown haha. I hope we get to talk more after the game!

TJ: Connor – You seem like such a great guy and I wish I had spent more time trying to know you on Hathor. One of the things that always scares me in these games is when I can’t get a read on someone. I never was able to get a solid read on who you were and what you were capable of, and for that, that made you the person I was most threatened by in that circumstance.

AMIR:

AUTUMN: SIS I MISS YOU!! That tribe was BLAND after you left lmaaaoo I couldn’t wait for merge. Even though we didn’t talk a ton, I feel like we really vibed towards the end and just talking about Survivor seasons all evening. I screenshot your rankings and I reference them all the time/ they’ve been a fun conversation starter at merge. But anyway you’re hilarious and messy and iconic and I’m glad we got to meet. Also, you’ll be glad to know I finished Cagayan, I am neither Tony trash nor a Spencer fan, and I’m watching Pearl Islands now

TJ: Dan – Seeing you on the cast and on my starting tribe was almost like a little sigh of relief. Knowing someone and trusting that they aren’t going to just randomly screw you over is the greatest feeling in that initial stage of this game, and it sucks that it wasn’t able to go too much further than that since we got through an easy tribal at Brawn and then we got swapped onto opposite tribes. You and Drew brought me into this crazy world that is TS, and I hope I can complete that initial season now with a win here.

AMIR: Oh my gosh has it been a long time, I really haven’t seen you around or spoken to you in about 3 years, so seeing you in this game brought back a lot of nostalgia and memories from being in this community during like 2016 looooool, but it honestly was really nice to reconnect with you and see where we’ve gone in life since leaving here, wishing you the best (‘:

AUTUMN: Girl what happened??? I mean ok yes a part of me was relieved that you wouldn’t be able to kill me haha but you were robbed and we really could’ve fucked shit up. Had a different Apis member been over then instead of you, whew we would’ve done damage together on Hathor. It’s all good though- I hope everything is well with you and that you’re taking that well deserved break. All these back to back orgs we’ve been doing is getting OLD haha

TJ: Scott – When I saw the cast reveal, I was so excited to meet you. I really thought I would be a Brain and that we would be on the same tribe. We would have worked so well together, and I hope in some alternate universe you come back to ORGs and we find each other in another game to play.

AMIR: Scott !! Oh wow I have thots when it comes to your vote out, I did know u were getting voted out and I’m sorry, but honestly, you were just too good!! Our whole tribe was loyal to you dead ass, and I felt like if you got to merge, you would run the game using the brains and the beauties. U were just too damn likable during the game and I hope U understand why I did it

AUTUMN: Wheeeww Scott. I’m still gagged by that tribal that was something else. It was hard to see you go out like that because you truly deserve the best and have such a kind, amazing spirit. To the point where I would’ve had a hard time ever voting you or even getting anyone else to do the same so. Yes you were robbed but please don’t internalize it cause you were playing an amazing game (even had the boys confronting me about all the tea you shared haha/ gave me some messes to clean up) so please please please play again because you will WIN

TJ: Liam – Of all the names I wrote down this season, yours was by far the hardest. Emotionally, I had really grown close to you and I felt awful for the situation you were in. Everything I told you that whole round and before that was 100% genuine. I just wanted to see the fight you had that first Brawn vote when I wanted to save you over Lovelis. You are one of the kindest dudes I’ve ever met in these games, and I have so much respect for you, your priorities, and how you carry yourself.

AMIR: We never really got to talk much at all, but the few times we have talked you were always very sweet, I hope you are doing well. Autumn: Ok I do actually love you I swear haha. You’re a very sweet, compassionate guy and I could tell you were going through a lot which I 1000% get. But once merge hit, I knew shit would hit the fan really quickly so I basically got everyone to target you because most people didn’t know you too well and all the other Apis boys went with it because they were terrified of being the sacrificial brawn (since 5 of y’all made merge). I hope things are going better for you and I hope not having to worry about this wild ass game helped in some way. You thought you and I were tired back at pre-merge- girrrrrlll that was nothing hahaha

TJ: Jordan – If you told me Day 1 that you would be the person I would strategize the most with and become the closest ally too, I would have laughed in your face! I thought there was no freaking way that our personalities would click. And then I got to know you, we bonded over Survivor, and then a genuine friendship formed in this game. We made a F2 pact during the swapped Hathor tribe and I would have stuck to that to the end of this game. You are a great player and fun influence for these games, and I hope I made you proud throughout this merge.

AMIR: Oooof! Okay we did not leave on the best terms, you, similarly to dan, bring me a lot of nostalgia and you remind me of what it was like being in this community years ago. I never really got a chance to meet you in a personal way and get to know you at all until this game and I loved that we were able to reflect on the past and look back together, but unfortunately, by the time we did finally get on the same page, it was a little to late for me strategically. We got to connect over c*rcle and going to Ryerson and you’re honestly a real cool guy. I’m sorry for doing you dirty and I was happy to hear that you felt better the day after everything happened. I still stand by my decision and do not want to come across as a suck up, because I felt like you were after me prior to that point, and while I did feel a person connection after one call, my head still said that betraying all my allies for your plan was not smart for me. I truly do wish u the best and really hope u give me a chance outside the game, because that call we had did truly matter to me i swear I’m not evil looool Autumn: There’s so much I could say here but I’m gonna go about it like this: hi, I’m Autumn Hill and everything I do in Survivor is purely based on of strategy. I’ve always wanted to play with you just because of all the things I’ve heard about you but I knew we were too cracked to ever really work together. So I said yes to that alliance to appease Duncan and to keep an eye on you/ figure out how to take you out from the inside. There’s been a running joke all game that I just woke up and decided to kill you lmao and I swear that isn’t true. Yes I had been taking notes on you the whole game but no I was not waiting to specifically kill you at Final 11. I literally just wanted you and/or TJ to be captain because neither of y’all had done shit the whole game and it was already Final 11. Did I KNOW y’all would wile out and you would dig your own grave? No but I was really hoping you would hahaha. So you openly targeting me made it easy for me and then you snapping on everyone before tribal sealed it. I hope you don’t still hate me but I wouldn’t be surprised if you do even though I don’t think it’s justified because it’s literally just game and you had no intention of going to the end with me anyway. And I’m sure you’ve been praying I walk into jury but that has given me so much motivation to do the opposite you have no idea

TJ: Duncan – Regardless of how our relationship in the game ended up, you are still someone that I enjoyed getting to know and genuinely connected with you during the Hathor swap. You are such a smart and genuine soul, and that’s not something that’s always easy to find in these ORGs. If I screwed something up between us, I’m genuinely sorry about that and would love to talk it out afterwards.

AMIR: *wendy_williams_with_the_hat_over_her_head_gif* you did not deserve what happened to you in this game, i hope you believe me when i say I was super super happy to see that you’ve been cast in this game, and assumed from the moment of cast reveal that we would be working closely together. We connect well, we had a lot of important conversations and both being gay poc and our experiences and I always felt that we would be great allies. Unfortunately in the game, the round where you were getting voted out, I actually wanted you to stay but all my closest allies did not and I felt like being a leader in that round was not what's best for my game. I was upset to lose you way earlier than I wanted to and I hope you know me not warning was never personal, and i really hope you’ll want to be friends afterwards b/c I definitely do Autumn: My bb :( I STILL LOVE YOU BUT YOU KNOW HOW I AM!!! I can’t be tamed lmao and I just felt really suffocated by our alliance and paranoid about us having been together the whole game. Devon lowkey came between us on Thoth and I felt like you were jealous that I was close to someone else so when you got Devon to vote me back on Thoth I was really shook. Idk it felt like a warning shot, that you and Scott would basically dangle me off a cliff for no reason so I knew what had to happen. Then the alliance with Jordan and TJ happened and you didn’t fuck with Ali and Adam and I was like oooop I need to cook something up. Then I really started aligning with other people at merge (Jakey, Amir, Augusto, etc.) and I was like ok I need to cover my tracks. And Idk there were just a lot of weird moments where you voted TJ captain first but wanted me to convince everyone else to do Adam, you protecting Jordan during the immunity challenge and cutting Augusto’s rope only for you to force Devon to cut Jordan’s rope, lying to Adam about targeting him- so I just couldn’t do it anymore. I knew I was trying to go deep in this game and I felt like we couldn’t go any further together so I put the vote on you and it became unanimous since a lot of people were hurt by all the lies you told. So whew that’s the tea but you always said if I ever killed you, I better win and here we are lol and I hope I continue to make you proud

TJ: Devon – Ah, Slithers! I was so excited to reconnect with you because there was so much unfinished business between us after Guyana. There was so much we could have done that game, and I was glad to at least get a small taste of that in this game. I wish we had met before merge so that we didn’t have to throw something together right at merge. Your elimination was a blessing in disguise for me, because it was that round or the round before that I started becoming weary of the fact you were telling things to others you said you had only told me, so maybe it was good? You’re a strategic genius and I truly think you’d win if you came back one more time.

AMIR: Oh my god Devon you were always a confusing one for me, I felt quite close to you for a lot of this entire game and for a good portion of it, I actually felt quite loyal to you. When I met you at one world, we instantly clicked as people and I was excited for you to get back into the game and we were tight from that point on. At merge, things started getting complicated and at some point, I truly did start to get intimidated by your social game and how calculated you were about every single decision. I definitely was not the driving force behind your vote off but I also did not do much to try and stop it, overall tho, you protected me a bunch of times in this game over and over and I’m not ignorant to that and I’m thankful for that time we had as allies and friends mr 95% top Autumn: Girl what the fuck hahaha. I have half the nerve to leave the message with that but you’re lucky I still love you. To this day I have no clue why you turned on me and I was always loyal to you. So many people talked shit about you but I continued to give you the benefit of the doubt and forgive you. And I genuinely wanted to go to the end with you, Amir, and Augusto (or you, me and Ali) and had you actually believed me, you would be sitting here instead of me. But then you tried it and got the whole tribe to lie to me and if that wasn’t bad enough, you were coming at me for believing you were the rat (even though you, Amir, and Augusto were intentionally covering Kendall’s tracks) and saying you had my back no matter what. So between that and realizing that you were intentionally trying to put me on the bottom of the tribe is why I put a hit on you. I was truly never coming for you until you gave me a reason. So yes I was in my bag about it then but it’s all good now and I’m now back to thinking you’re a sweet, funny guy who deserves nice things. I miss the good ole days on Thoth ugh when we just call and laugh and make fun of everyone but alas. ALSO THANK YOU FOR CUTTING THE WRONG ROPES!! It’s one of my favorite moments of the game and it makes my day every time I think about it lmao I really need all the laughs I can get these days. Unless you actually have been rooting for me this whole time and you cut your allies’ ropes intentionally??? I can’t wait to finally hear that story hahaha

TJ: Ali – I need to start by apologizing for not replying the last hour-ish before your elimination. You are such a high caliber player – potentially the highest of caliber – that I didn’t want to give you any more information to possibly spook you and change what you and Jakey had talked about. You were someone I knew from the getgo that I couldn’t let you get far, and yet you cease to amaze me in your ability to be so freaking likeable and get far in these games. I will never forget doing the name scramble with you and I truly wish every challenge could have been that.

AMIR: WHHEWW weeeee i have so much respect for you, you have no idea. Like okay I never had met you but I knew that you were a godly player due to bbpokemon, but I never judge based on placements, but playing in this game with you confirmed that. Tbh tbh we were never gonna work out as loyal allies because you scared the absolute shite out of me as a player and had a damn toybox of powers, but i am glad that this game gave me the opportunity to get to know you as a person and ive come to really really like you. You were a force in the game but also super nice and respectful to everyone the entire way through and i can only admire that, and after like literally years of just hearing about you i get why everyone loves u

Autumn: I CAN’T DO THIS. I cannot cry over you twice in this game I really cannot. I cannot articulate the guilt I felt watching you die when you didn’t have to. I go back to that moment where you gave your negator power to Adam in case you died and it crossed my mind to tell you to play the idol on yourself because I just had a weird feeling. And like- we were right we knew we wouldn’t be able to do this whole game together because Auli is too powerful. But I just thought we had more time together. You really are like a brother to me and when you died, Adam and I called and he did all the talking for a good 15 minutes because I was on the other end just crying. But! This means you’ve joined the elite cause the only other allies I’ve MOURNED are Ned and Eddie. I just love how you are literally the nicest person but constantly have everyone shaking in their boots. Like the way all these people had a hard-on trying to get you out like 3 rounds in a row is just so powerful ugh. King of living rent free in everyone’s minds! Idk it would’ve been too good to be true for us both to go to the end but you are truly a legend and I’m grateful for literally any time I get with you and I REALLY wouldn’t be here without your idol sis so your spirit really did live on

TJ: Jakey – Day One I really thought that you and I would be at the end of this game together. And even throughout that entire merge, despite a few ups and downs we both had, I really saw us sitting here together. It sucks that we got blindsided together and I didn’t have that chance to save you, but I am so glad that we were able to connect the way we did. Our dynamic in having information from both sides of the house was perfect for both of us, even if it was your downfall. I was not kidding when I told you after Jordan left that I still had your back and that I wanted to get us to the end.

AMIR: I am so glad I got to meet you in this game because you literally became one of my fav people ever in the span of a month, and you know I love you. You’re someone I plan on being tight with for a very long time and have come to care about you so much, and we ended up calling like every single day for hours. You not being in the game anymore always did feel weird afterwards since you were essentially my other closest ally in terms of how you knew just about everything about my game and were kind of like a sounding board for me. I didn’t fully trust you sometimes, and I often think back to a “what if” and if we both could be here rn if my ass decided to take that risk and fully commit to this alliance and 100% trust you, but when this game is over, our nightly late night calls are probably going to be the main thing I remember and I am so appreciative that I got the chance to get to know you and become as close we did ❤️

Autumn: LMAO now see when you do clownery… I have so much respect for you and you are truly brilliant but girl you do too much haha and you know I’m OLD. I can’t do the back and forth and watching someone play both sides and have this je ne sais quoi energy about fucking everyone’s games up, allies included. Fam if you had waited to kill Ali ONE MORE ROUND, this game would’ve been yours. You had Amir and TJ whipped, you would’ve had me, Adam, and Kendall powerless, and Augusto would’ve kept chilling. But no I had to avenge Ali so me and Adam got to work and came up with a bunch of lies and truths to get you out and the kids ate it UP. But anyway, you’re still my son, you will bounce back, and I’m rooting for you in everything you do. You’re hilarious and perceptive and cracked and I told all the POC’s every round you were the only white boy I would actually vote for hahaha and I mean that

TJ: Adam – My biggest personal regret is not getting to talk to you more and at least get to know you more on a personal level. You always seemed so sweet and we talked about a decent bit, but I don’t think I ever put my best foot forward to build that connection since we were never on the same side. You are such a kind, sweet guy and I wish more guys were like you.

AMIR: Hello hunty, I think out of everyone in this cast, you are the first person I had ever met and it goes way way way back...like 2014 back. Our relationship is this game was…. ICONIC and messy to say the least. I was always a huge fan of your blog back then, and never thought we’d both end up on the beauty tribe. I honestly saw so much potential for us being super close allies, and at some point, I considered you my closest ally during day 1-2. The issue was the creation of an alliance without you in it, and then that alliance targetting you and you getting word of it which just kinda set us on the wrong foot from the very beginning because you didn’t trust me and I was anxious about that. It was literally all just shitty circumstances because bible i literally wanted to work with you so bad. We eventually set things straight again, but due to alliance lines, previous mistrust, and the people we were both working with, we ended up being on opposite sides and never were able to work out on a strategic level despite the fact that we always meshed well on a personal level, it was unfortunate but also kind of an iconic rivalry/alliance thing that was going on

Autumn: MY BABY!!! When you died I was just numb and I miss you so much. That happening right after I finally won immunity was just cruel and my system short circuited. We had a million alliance chats and just like that the house was empty and it’s just been quiet all the rounds since. Tbh I was triggered cause I was ALONE alone in Crossroads so when you died I was just sitting at Final 5 with the idol like awww shit here we go again haha. You are one of the funniest, kindest, most loyal, and most authentic players I’ve ever met and your social game is TOP SHELF sir. Watching you lie and finesse and manipulate people round after round actually cleared my skin. In my mind, I always referred to you as the Mad Hatter because you always had tea and you always had something brewing on the stove haha. I miss our conversations so much and I really wouldn’t be here without all the trust you put in me and for being like “giiiirrrl you need to get on the blog RIGHT NOW.” You know I can make hoes mad all by myself haha but it was at its best when you were by my side

TJ: Augusto – I want to mirror what you said about me in your goodbye message. You are so pure, you are so likeable, you are such a king when it comes to the social game. I didn’t think our games would gel that much coming into this game, but once we got over the little hump that was the first couple rounds of merge, I really clicked with you and enjoyed meeting you this game. I wish we had followed the plan and you’d still be here over Amir, but ‘tis the game.

AMIR: This is probably the hardest one to write because you have been my partner in crime and my closest ally since day 1 in this game, and I truly did want to go to the end with you and Kendall. You kept me sane for like the majority of the game and I 100% could not have made it here without you. I am not going to diminish the impact that you had on this game and how big of a factor you were in my survival. I have never lied or kissed ass when I said I believed you played one of the strongest games by far. As a person, I love you and you know I mean that and have enjoyed your friendship a lot over the past month, and really really hope we’ll be friends after this game. The game does not feel the same without u there and i miss your dumb gay memes that make me cackle, and im sorry for how things ended up, I truly felt like at that point, it was me going home or u, and i chose to pick me. I don’t want to dwell but I also don’t want to invalidate how badly I screwed you over and how you get to be mad for it. i cant wait 2 talk to u after the game

Autumn:Lmaaaaooo listen. That whole thing was one of the most cracked things I’ve ever done in my entire org career and Iiiiii don’t wanna get into it here but I will so that miss Amir can’t take credit for it hahaha. Basically…. what had happened was… I was very much going to idol Amir out but he randomly came into my pm’s after TJ won immunity and begged that we work together and that I spare him if I had the idol even though he had just killed Adam. And it took a lot of convincing but I thought about how well positioned you were to go to the end with anyone so I said: yes Amir but I’m killing Augusto which means you’re going to tell the beauties you have the idol since everyone has to vote me. Meanwhile TJ was talking to me and being very straight up that it was between me and Amir/ it was based on who had the idol. So I threw Amir under the bus and said everyone was giving the game away to him and that TJ was no better for always talking shit but never doing anything about it. And he kept trying to corner me into saying I had the idol and that “everyone was still concerned” so I got tired of going back and forth and was just like lemme go address everyone in the tribe cause I’m not doing this all day when I know I’ll be at Final 4 no matter what. So that’s when I gave a monologue in the tribe chat about how everyone should be honest with me and that there’s no point in lying when I’m essentially a sitting duck. Then you and Kendall admitted to voting me, which allowed me to a) play the idol correctly and b) split you and Amir. Tbh I just felt like you had the best spot in the game because the whole round it like never crossed your mind that you could die and I was like oop hold my beer. Meanwhile you had talked shit about Amir’s game to me more than once so I started twisting the knife on him and when you weren’t talking to him as much, Amir really got paranoid and was like they’re gonna kill me soon I just know it I’m all in. So that’s the tea. But! You know it was strictly game because I adore you and I legit called you more than anyone in this cast haha. I just got spooked about you getting any deeper in the game. You have a great heart and I hope we can still be friends after this because you’re an amazing person and I’ll always be here for you

TJ: Kendall – You haven’t even been gone for 24 hours and I already miss your lunatic history facts! I never expected to meet someone in this game who I truly understood and care about in this game, and that’s exactly what I found starting very early in that merge with you. You are so freaking quirky, but so am I so I get it completely. I wish everyone in this game got to see how amazing you were and how you were completely robbed from being able to make the finals with me. I truly think I met a friend for years to come with you, and I’m so grateful for that. (Also ps, apparently we had a flirtmance going according to the other two… I wasn’t aware of this, lol).

AMIR: This is interesting because I kinda already messaged you yesterday right before the vote with everything I have to say, in the end, you have the right to feel how you feel and your reactions are 100% valid. I apologize for lying to you and blindsiding you, It was not an easy decision and I own it, and even writing this right now is quite difficult because I want to talk about the hilarious and amazing times we had together and make it a cute rop, but I know the wounds are still fresh and I know you said you are not happy with me rn and I would not want to act oblivious to your current emotions. Maybe if I make it to jury or FTC, you will be able to say everything you want to say to me and we can move on from there and pick up where we left off,

Autumn: Sis I don’t even know where to begin with you haha. Because we were never allies or even friends lmao but we always had mutual respect for each other the whole game and just tried to stay out of each other’s way. I do genuinely believe you get a bad wrap for no reason and people talked a lot of shit about you for no real reason. And I love that both the women in the game were despised but for different reasons haha. You were playing a good game tbh and even though I really considered sitting beside you at the end, it frustrated me that you (like Augusto) felt like you were guaranteed to be at the end and you were essentially the prettiest girl at the dance and meanwhile I had to fight for my life every single round since Final 6. So I was like ok if sis really wants to go to the end, then she’ll pull up and meet me at firemaking haha. Amir went back and forth about the whole thing and legitimately told me he was voting me earlier that day but I got in his head and I said you know damn well they will clip you at Final 3 no hesitation so unless you want this whole game to have been for nothing, you need to just send me to firemaking and if Kendall wins she wins and if I win I win. So, it was strictly strategic for me because there was no way for you, me, and Amir to all make final 3 and you and TJ were very transparent about voting me lol. But anyway! Thank you for your humor and patience and constant forgiveness throughout this game and your incredible knack for manipulating men. I salute you and I’m glad we got to meet

Amir: Tj tj tj oh wow oh wow, I literally feel like our relationship is like the disappointed dad (you) and me being the rebellious child who keeps promising to straighten myself out and then keeps up my fuckery. Anyway, it was a pleasure playing this game with you, you were kind to everyone, had a huge underdog hero arc, and you were probably the person who was onto my antics the most. Somehow after every vote, you’re like “I hate u but I get it so I still like u” and it was just a very wholesome hilarious relationship that I’ve had this whole game. You had me shaking during that final “autumn take me” riff raff and you deserve to be sitting in this spot just as much as I do

Autumn: Oh boy- not to be dramatic but killing you, my favorite adversary, wasn’t nearly as satisfying as I thought it would be. Listening to you talk last night made me realize how much heart you had put into the game and I felt really compelled to give you a chance to vouch for yourself at FTC just out of respect. But I know how allies get and I didn’t see a whole pocket of jurors voting for me over you when they had probably been rooting for you the whole game. So once my laptop died last night haha and I was sitting with my notes, it came down to a) leveling the playing field amongst the jurors, b) trying to picture what jury would really value, and c) how persuasive you are. If you could do aaaaaall that off the record to save your game, I knew you were gonna bring it at FTC. But it’s not the same without you. I have no one to tease, no one to call out, no one’s business to air, no one’s game to undermine lmao- it’s too quiet, everyone’s dead. The reason I love our relationship so much is because we think very similarly so our elaborate multi-round game of cat and mouse game gave a lot amusement and frustration but most importantly focus. We are literally the movie Catch Me If You Can and you’re were always watching me scam everyone and do the most and no one wants to listen to you so you take it upon yourself to chase me yourself round after round. And I was always watching you and egging you on and doing everything I could to throw you off my tracks haha. You’re my Tom Hanks and I’m your Leo and a lot of people made it easy on me but you never did and I have a lot of respect for that. You never miss a beat and you have fantastic instincts so after all this time, I can finally say I am a TJ fan, fedora and all

#BackWithVengeance

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ryumako · 5 years

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so I’ve mentioned it before but I started watching bnha soon after 7/15, because it was my birthday and I had gotten on tumblr and saw that it was also Deku’s birthday.

Sharing a birthday wasn’t the actual reason I started watching it, it was more so the fact that I was a) already trying to choose another (specifically shounen) anime to watch and b) had seen so so much bnha on tumblr, especially on that day, and I figured I might as well get in on it (I didn’t even know season 4 was coming out soon and in hindsight I’m so glad I caught up because tumblr goes fucking buck wild for bnha as any season of it comes out and it doesn’t matter who you follow, no one is safe)

but yeah, I’ve currently got about 60 anime on my plan-to-watch list and bnha wasn’t even Fucking One Of Them (but that’s just how it goes, isn’t it)

I was very indifferent about it at first, but even then I was still thinking about it when I wasn’t watching it. I had a lot of questions (that eventually got answered). There were things that rubbed me the wrong way (subtle and not-so-subtle fetishy stuff, how the female characters are treated/written, Mineta existing at all, etc. But like. I find a lot of shounen anime to be this way. Doesn’t excuse them, but I make my Disgusted™ face and soldier on). But there were also a lot of things I liked. It’s funny, the animation and art style (especially the manga’s) is really cool, and I fell for most of the characters immediately.

For a while, it was just something for me to watch on the train. And I don’t know when it happened, but eventually I liked it so much that I could no longer watch it on the train because I would be visibly reacting to scenes. Didn’t matter much anyway, I caught up in about 9 days (would have been shorter, but I had a full time job at the time).

Anyway, I got distracted from the series because a couple weeks later I was dumped and then fired (yikes) and had to move from Denver to Kansas. Still, I was looking at fan art during the whole 7 hour drive.

I wanted to read the manga, but I’ve never read a manga this long. I wanted to make sure I had the Time and the Energy. I ended up starting it on August 29th and caught up with it 3 days ago on the 7th. I have yet to read Vigilantes or Smash!! but I’m getting to it

I started the manga for 2 reasons

a) Season 4 in just a month!! I wanted to know what I’m in for

b) I needed to figure out the hype around certain characters. I am hyper aware of the fact that tumblr latches on to characters so hard to the point where it doesn’t even make sense and they end up mischaracterizing them. I wanted to accurately Form my Opinions.

I’m the type to usually have the main character or someone close to the main character as my favorite (um if that wasn’t already blatantly fucking obvious lmao) and it’s because they almost always have the most character development/detailed backstory! That isn’t to say that I can’t infer things about the more minor characters, it’s just that usually they’re much less interesting/developed anyway. Bnha is overwhelming because there are several lovable characters.

But yeah, after watching the anime and having not yet read the manga, I was having a lot of trouble understanding the hype around: Mirio (based on what you see in the anime, he didn’t really have a personality yet, just POWERRRR and a cool-ass quirk, but don’t get me wrong, I love him now! He’s super admirable and really interesting. I also love his interactions/relationship with Deku!)

Kirishima (he seemed like a generic supporting character to me. He was really funny the whole anime, but I failed to see why he was so popular. After reading his backstory and watching him overcome his shortcomings, watching him frame himself in such a realistic way, etc, I loved him! His character design is really, really cool, and he’s a super lovable guy. You want to be his friend. Definitely the kind of character I can’t imagine anyone hating.)

Todoroki (out of the characters I list here, I understood this hype the most, because a decent amount of his backstory/character is already revealed in the anime. But people fucking LOVE Todoroki. I saw him more than any other character on my dashboard, even before I consumed the series and followed bnha blogs. I was like yeah, he’s cool and interesting, but is he that cool and interesting? The answer is yes! Todoroki is a very mature, clever, multi-faceted in depth character and he’s also fucking hilarious. Also, his quirk? Hell yes!)

and then Bakugo.

I still don’t understand the Bakugo hype. I like his character design (his Japanese VA is perfect, like what a fucking voice, he probably can’t even speak after recording), I like that his existence motivates Deku, and some of the things he says make me laugh out loud

But like, I cannot humanize him, and I cannot understand the hype. I was really really hoping the manga would help me Understand the Hype but it didn’t really?

Listen,

Horikoshi basically said ‘I was going to make Bakugo an actual character with human emotions besides anger, I was going to give him empathy, I was going to make him not wholly self-absorbed, I was going to give him a personality besides that of a wet house cat,

but look at him! Look into his eyes! There is nothing there. Only anger.’

Or rather, he literally calls him “explosively rotten and detestable”.

BUT RACHE, what about when he brought Deku aside to talk about his quirk? What about that one time he showed a single scrap of softness?

Okay I’ll give you one thing - he did finally show an emotion that wasn’t just anger (even though he was still angry the whole time). We learned that Bakugo can feel Regret. But also…was that whole thing not only just about him?

It was ’I feel guilty about being the catalyst that ended All Might’s career’

’I need to fight Deku to prove myself, despite his initial protests’

’I need to break the school’s rules and get both of us in trouble because I can’t handle my own feelings’

He was only thinking about himself the whole time, so I don’t really put much stock in that argument. I was surprised that he agreed to keep the existence of One for All a secret, and I still believe it was totally out of character for him to do so, but the alternative would cause the unraveling of the entire story, so.

Upon reading the manga, I found one (1), one scrap of hope. And if you’ve read the manga, you probably know what I’m talking about, because it was kind of a big deal to people.

He said that. I actually gasped when I read it. I really couldn’t believe it (oh the bar is so low though)

THIS was a really good example that Bakugo has feelings somewhere. And believable, too! It didn’t come off as out of character for a couple reasons -

a) He is saying it to a child he will likely never see again. He would never say this within earshot of a classmate (Todoroki, Yoarashi, and Camie were all adequately distracted) and if god forbid Deku were to ever hear that from him, he would backpedal so fast he’d get whiplash. But yeah, of course he’d never say anything like that around anyone that matters.

b) The setting. He’s actively in the remedial classes, where he can only be hyper-aware of his failures and shortcomings, whether he likes it or not. This line/scene occurs rather far into the manga. He hasn’t gotten anywhere and he fucking knows it. Every time he makes a move or has a chance, it backfires. He’s starting to realize his self-absorption alone is holding him back and this line is a hint that maybe, maybe he’ll change

but will Horikoshi write that? I have trouble picturing him doing that, and if Bakugo does change, it is going to take a really

really

long time. I know a lot of fans have the patience to see it happen, I suppose I do now as well, but I suspect casual fans won’t.

In a way, I am a little obsessed with Bakugo just because you all are. I’m always trying to understand the psychology. I’m not trying to insult anyone who does have the impulse to humanize him (some of you though…SOME of you DEFINITELY go too far) because again, his character design is cool, his quirk is cool, and he can be funny at times (albeit not at all clever).

I will definitely be here for the seemingly unattainable dream chapter in which he apologizes to Deku. I can’t even imagine it…

I’m a little annoyed at myself now, because Deku is my favorite character but I simply don’t have much to say. I just wrote a goddamn Bakugo Essay but I don’t have much to say about Deku. He’s one of the most motivational and relatable characters I’ve ever come across. Call him a generic shounen protag all you want, but I love him. If it were 2012 and kin was still a thing (and I had That Type of Brain) I’d be hard pressed to find a better kin candidate (born on Jul 15? infp? Bullied mercilessly yet resilient? Sweet as fuck? Same god damn hat Deku). He’s adorable, funny, nerdy, and ferocious. That boy goes absolutely feral on his opponents/enemies and you love to see it.

But anyway, yeah! Bnha fucking rocks and I don’t give a fuuuck if it’s associated with cringe culture. “Cringe culture” is cringe culture. I was telling my brother about how the plot is dummy simple, so I can see how people think it’s overrated. However, it’s hard not to love the characters, and the creativity of their designs and quirks! Horikoshi had my head spinning with the infinite amount of unique characters he seems to pull out of his ass and make likable (or at least respectable) (um save for Mineta, fuck that guy, what a ginormous mistake. There’s this song I like called “Don’t Give Me Grapes” and while the lyrics aren’t applicable at all, I get that song stuck in my head whenever I see that idiot because my brain says “Don’t give me grapes.” Don’t give me grapes).

The writing is also fucking captivating, like obviously everyone knows the hero will come out the victor every single time, but with bnha’s arcs, you definitely find yourself asking “but how?? How the fuck will they get out of this one??” You’re left biting your nails thinking “dude, man, Horikoshi, there’s no way you didn’t just write yourself into a corner right now” but then there’s the TWISTS and ugh I love them. I love them. I Lov

#rache rambles #rache REALLY fucking rambles #this is just my journey with bnha #I am chock full of opinions #bnha made me a fandom nerd again #I have a lot of emotions and a lot of lukewarm takes #I Am Hype #absolutely not spoiler free #this has a read more line but mobile users are fucked I'm SORRY

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fit-as-fxck · 5 years

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get. after. it.

Monday week 6!!!!

Never miss a Monday. Yeehaw.

barbell back squat 6x2, then 5 (less weight) for time under tension as slowly as possible- h e a v y

conventional deadlifts 6x3 also h e a v y

barbell hip thrust 4x8 even h e a v i e r

SuperSet: hamstring curl 3x10 // walking prisoner lunges until burned out

Last week I didn't get to do my major strength lifts and I had to find alternate workouts and missed a couple workouts altogether. So this week I really wanted to push those heavy numbers and go as heavy as possible. Ya bitch! You just gotta roll with the punches and the only thing that matters is that you keep going - even if you have to adjust your sails. I know when you mess up for a few days.. or a week.. you may be down on yourself but the only thing that matters is WHAT YOU DO NOW. IN THIS MOMENT. THIS CHOICE. DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU DID THEN. ONLY MATTERS WHAT YOU DO NOW AND HOW YOU HANDLE IT. This might not feel like it’s true in the moment, but those are your emotions speaking and not your 20/20 hindsight when you look back. If you rely solely on your emotions... it’s just highly unreliable (not saying that they aren't also very good, but ya know) just like you can't always rely on motivation because it comes and it goes. There will be times when you won't feel like it and the only thing carrying you is knowing what you should do and that you should do it. Period.

I went as heavy as I could which is why you’ll see I did 6 sets of 2 reps on squats - because I really challenged myself over and beyond what I was used to. Then, I set up the catching bars (the bars that sit on the sides of the squat rack to catch the bar if you fail) and I dropped the weight just a tad, and did the movement as slowly as possible (time under tension). Wow. Super challenging. SO challenging that for the first time in the history of me, I failed. I dropped down low and, well, gave out lmao. The bars caught the barbell for me on the way down and I just rolled out from under it. That’s never happened to me before. I literally started laughing and looked around to see if anyone else caught that. But at least testing my max’s like this is pushing me though mental barriers that got me in a plateau.

I don't personally workout with my gym partner anymore but I still provide assistance and did have to stop a few times during my workout to show him things etc. So my rest periods were longer than normal but I think that was good considering I was pushing my max’s. I tried to keep my workout as simple as possible today while pushing my limits.

(You know when you’re at the gym and someone’s in your vicinity making you feel just a tad weird? Normally I don't have a problem at this gym, I'm used to the crowd and everyone keeps to themselves while still being friendly. But I did that thing where you are talking to someone and look off for a second and then someone else walks right in your field of vision and omg now you’ve made eye contact and you weren't trying. Oops. SO you carry on like normal pretending it didn't happen and that it wasn't awkward because you weren't even looking at them. And what made it weirder was the same person was awkwardly in my vicinity, in a place he didn't need to be that kind of made me feel weird but I thought “I’m not here to feel weird. I’m here to kick ass and take names. So idgaf.” And then my gym partner approached me later telling me the dude was staring at me hardcore the whole time he was there. Maybe he was checking out the weight I was using or something idk and will never know. And this whole time I thought he was gay. God. Being alive is literally so awkward sometimes.)

#personal #getshredded2019 #strongspo #February 2019

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buttlerina · 6 years

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🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻 🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻Now say the fuck as much as you want now lol 😂

You Bet Your Ass I’m going to say exactly 72 things about myself. Yes, I counted. Although I’m bad at math so I might be wrong.

Just a bunch of bullshit under the cut I guess? (I don't have 72 stories to conjure up lmao)

1. I get angry when people make me do things when I could be taking a nap2. Apparently I'm scary when this happens3. Y'know when Jyushi does those noodle arms? I can Do That4. That's part of the reason why I got the nickname "Noodles" in elementary school5. But do not be fooled, these long skinny arms can do 100 push-ups6. The simple ones at the knee, not the feet7. Speaking of athletic stuff, I was known for being pretty good at basketball in high school8. Probably because for the three years prior to high school my dad and I would shoot hoops for about an hour every day9. Well, he would shoot hoops for an hour. I would shoot for 30 minutes. Dude had stamina10. He even taught me trick shots! At one point I got to be pretty good at shooting while spinning mid-jump11. Despite this, I've only ever played one actual game of basketball in my life12. It wasn't even a real game, it was like a fundraiser-type deal where the seniors had to do audience requests while we were playing13. At least it was better than what the seniors my sophomore year did. Donkey basketball. Poop Everywhere.14. One year my dad participated in the school's alumni basketball game15. I don't think the other guys on his team took him seriously because he was way older than the rest of them16. He sure showed them B)17. Because of this, my history teacher told me he was scared of my dad. "Did you see your dad's calves during that basketball game?! They were huge!"18. Anyway, I'm talking way too much about my dad and basketball (but to be fair, they are both very good)19. Even though I used to like reading a lot as a kid, I pretty much dislike it now20. I always find myself re-reading sentences over and over again21. Barely even reading a chapter makes me sleepy22. And sometimes it can be just so... boring.23. I don't even read that much fanfiction, so chances are if I read someone's stuff, I Really Really Like It24. However, the Artemis Fowl series is the greatest piece of literature literally ever and is always worth a re-read, my dislike of reading be damned25. The first fandom I drew anything for was InvaderZIM26. But the first fandom I actively participated in was The Lorax fandom... Or I guess, the Onceler fandom.27. It was also my first tumblr fandom, so all that stuff is still on this blog28. Deep, deep, deep on this blog29. At that point in time my URL was turtlescience--because I like turtles a lot!30. I have approximately 2 shrines in my room made out of stuffed turtles and turtle statues that friends and family have bought for me over the years31. And keep buying for me32. Seriously, I don't need any more, how do I tell them to stop33. I always bring my stuffed turtle named Tortellino wherever I'm going to sleep, though34. He's the perfect size and shape for hugging! I wish I could have him with me all the time35. Before Tortellino, I had a smaller turtle named Teewee, short for Turtly-Wurtly36. Not as great a hugger, but it had more sentimental value because I stole it got it from my mom (she didn't even realize that it used to be hers)37. Sometimes I wish I could just, like. Buy a bunch of toys from the toy aisle38. Oh shit, wait39. Where the FUCK did I put my nerf sword??40. Shit.41. I also have a huge box full of nerf guns somewhere at home42. I got all of them at Goodwill on my birthday a few years ago43. I need to find those too, shit44. I think my dad actually gave one of the biggest ones to one of my second cousins like Right In Front Of My Eyes45. That's kind of fucked up, right? Like, sure, I haven't played with them in like 3 years, but I didn't say I was done with them46. Although if I said anything about it, I would have looked like a spoiled child, and that's probably bad47. On the topic of toys, the basement of my parents' house is absolutely filled to the brim with toy cars48. My dad is a collector and used to sell them on summer weekends49. When I was little, I was forced to go with him and my mom to toy shows and car shows50. It was Boring. And. Hot. As. Hell.51. My sister used to go with us too but then grew old enough to stay home by herself52. But apparently not old enough to take care of me. Hecker.53. Real talk tho? My sister is the baes knaes54. You know the hijab emoji? She made the initial design for the pitch for that, and she ended up in a lot of news articles!! So cool!!55. Making emojis is part of her job kinda, so she made quite a few of the designs you see on your phone56. And she also makes book covers for short stories! She even got an award for one of them57. She's pretty much the reason that I changed my second major from Film to Graphic Design. She Opened My Eyes58. And THANK GOD I changed my major from Film. I've only taken one class and it is literally the most stressful thing ever59. I only thought I could do Film because I took a video editing class once and it was really fun matching the video to the music60. Coming up with an idea to execute is STRESSFUL, finding actors is STRESSFUL, and using the camera is STRESSFUL61. Actually in that video editing class, I did end up breaking the only camera we had, so I guess that was kind of foreshadowing in hindsight62. Back to my sister, she's actually my best friend and also the yin to my yang63. She's the tsukkomi and I'm the boke. Together we are the perfect comedy duo64. However, despite being on the same wavelength a majority of the time and also both of us being artists/writers, for some reason we can never collaborate on anything65. We've come up with a lot of really cool story ideas, but for some reason we never execute them66. We can't even collaborate on one picture lmao67. Wanna hear one of the best ideas we've had? Four words. Murder Mystery Dating Sim. Shit, dude.68. I'm a little worried about people stealing our idea, but I doubt anyone would read this far so I think it's fine69. (Hehe) My sister also introduced me to our Hella Rad Buddy, Chavez. Probably the most bullied person on the planet. A true Karamatsu.70. Before I even met Chavez, my sister would tell me stories about her and talk about how we're so similar71. And yeah, we're pretty much the same person, the only difference being that she is like, SUPER thirsty for Will Graham72. Anyway, she brings an element to our group (not sure what. victim?) that makes us the perfect comedy trio known as Reservematsu The Stankhouse, and we’re gonna take the world by storm

#thank you for letting me talk about myself #i really like doing that a lot but it's probably annoying lmao #buttlerinasks #Anonymous

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resbang-bookclub · 6 years

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AMA Transcript: Simple Melody

For our final AMA of Resbang 2017, @alliope, @bbbutterfingers & @daciafu stopped in to answer questions about their Resbang, Simple Melody! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: My first question for Allie is what inspired you to do this AU?

Allie: Well I've generally had the idea for an Over the Garden Wall AU for a while, not necessarily for SE, but as the first check-ins deadline was approaching I ended up rewatching bits of Over the Garden Wall and it just kinda clicked? Mainly I think it came from Crona's betrayal and Beatrice's betrayal and everything fell into place from there. I thought the eerie atmospheres would work well together! So I ended up scrapping my previous idea and wrote 3k plus a summary like three days before the first check-ins, rip.

Q: For butter/dacia, what went into how you decided which scene(s) to art?

butterfingers: HM well there was some chitchat when we started about what kind of work we wanted to do and I said that I loved the Boom comics covers, and then I shouted WHAT IF I MADE COMIC BOOK COVERS! and I think Dacia went WHAT IF I DID BACKGROUNDS and I guess we just approached it as if we were doing something comic-y haha!

Allie: You two were the power duo.

daciafu: I've always been in love with the style of the backgrounds of OTGW since that's where all those cozy and spooky feelings of fall and the Unknown really shine and I'm honestly HORRIBLE at designing backgrounds so I wanted to take the challenge and push myself to get better! Mimicking other people's styles really helps me break down how they make their choices and teaches me how to make things look Decent so I was super hyped to pick up the OTGW style! And then when Butters and I were trying to figure out What Do and she said she wanted to tackle covers, I decided to do background-heavy scenes. 😊

Q: What is generally your guys’ process (writing for Allie and arting for butters and dacia)?

Allie: Well, I wrote in little scenes, like I would get an idea for a scene and just go for it, the fic wasn't at all coherent until maybe a few days before posting. This actually posed a problem since linking scenes took longer than I thought it would. Because I had most of my scenes written, I thought I had more finished than I really did. By the end of Resbang, I had 56k written but only 20k remotely post-able. I'm a super obsessive planner though, so my whole fic was outlined in detail early on, which was nice cause I knew what I was doing lol

butterfingers: I loved going through Allie's notes, I was always excited to see how they'd connect the dots! My art process is as follows: scribble something, put it aside, look at it a lot throughout the day with the thought that maybe I can surprise myself into seeing something new, find something I hate, fix it, rinse and repeat. For this project I actually... have a friend who works with Boom Comics and she was able to hook me up with a nice little gallery of illustrations for the OTGW comic so I got to go through and put together my mood board for it 😊

daciafu: I read over the gloriousness that was Allie's draft and immediately picked out some neat scenes or wanted to reimagine the classic OTWG ones. I spent a lot of time studying first! Looking at the art books, and poring over the show’s scenes and kind of getting a feel for the color palettes, textures and compositions. Then I watched a tutorial on Youtube where someone just deadass uploaded their painting process on a piece of official art that made it into the show. So that was EXTREMELY helpful to watch the way they painted back-to-front and kind of blended the planes without like, losing depth?? The internet is so, so wonderful. And then I got to work! Started with a soft brush for lineart so it wouldn't be too prevalent, moved onto base colors, then shading, and then really trying to establish textures and make the atmosphere Just Right(tm).

butterfingers: Genius!! Oh damn that sounds like such great advice vis à vis backgrounds. /takes notes

Q: You sound like the dream art partner Allie, I weep for my artists and my last minute HERE IS 10K I JUST TYPED UP BC IM A MESS.

Allie: Ahh geez, these two were the dream partners honestly, like I'm so glad they could gather stuff from my notes, cause I've always got everything together in my head, but then it gets out there and it's a mess, these two deserve all the love.

butterfingers: There was one thing I regret that I didn't have the chance to draw and it was like a throwaway line somewhere in your notes about Maka presenting Soul with a praying mantis and him freaking out. I resonated with that so hard hahaha.

Q: What was the hardest scene for you to write?

Allie: The hardest scene to write that's actually posted was anything with Justin really, I don't get his character and it was tough to write him. There were a few scenes that were hard to write because I rushed them, but I wouldn't say they were genuinely difficult scenes, I just gotta rewrite 'em! But overall the ending scene I'm still struggling to write and there's a dream scene that occurs which has been difficult to write just for making it dream-like enough?

Q: And what was the hardest to art? :o

butterfingers: I had a hard time with Maka's expressions. I had many scribbles designing a Ragnarok lantern, too, but it was very fun!!

Allie: Your design for the Ragnarok lantern was so good, I still cry over it.

butterfingers: Ahaha thank you! He was very Calcifer inspired ;)

daciafu: I struggled quite a bit with the first one I painted, just because it was all so new to me. I had to base color 3 different times because the soft lineart bothered me if something extended too far, or there was white background peeking through. And then reimagining the texture in the leaves and the ground to try to separate the planes there but also wanting them to be cohesive was a bit of a headache. If I had to go back and do that one over again I think I'd be more prepared to deal with the foliage lmao.

butterfingers: Your textures were very excellent, that was a quality I struggled with as well!

daciafu: The first one I painted was the Golden Light scene where Maka and Soul are leaving the woods and entering the fields.

butterfingers: Trees r hard.

Allie: They all came out so incredible though, I'm in awe of how you were able to create those leaves.

daciafu: Omg ;;;;; At the same time trees are so organic and flowy and the chances of getting them wrong are pretty slim considering they can get janked as hell lol they're super fun to just zone out to. "I’ll just put a happy little leaf here, ooh and how’s about another one right next to it. They can be happy friends. Oh look, the squad showed up!!" Channeling my inner Bob Ross... but yeah you can just do whatever with them and they somehow come together.

Q: Daciafu how do u.....background, like you did so well and all I hear from art friends is various levels of pterodactyl screeching when the word background is mentioned.

daciafu: I heavily based the Leafing the Forest scene and the church scene after stills from the show so I don't get composition points there, but I built the pumpkin fields just based off of the environment’s design elements. I really wanted to push the depth of that scene but also give it that same never-ending quality to it, and I'm super happy with the results. Another note is that I omitted the characters entirely while building the backgrounds. Since I'm usually a pretty character-heavy artist, I wanted to tackle it like I was preparing the scene for an animator later. And then once they were done, I added in our sweet kids. Doing it that way first really helped to cement the characters in the space rather than my usual "character is done, how can I put them in an interesting physical space?" struggle lmao.

Q: Did you guys feel like your writing/arting changed at all or that you learned anything/picked up new skills/honed old ones etc. etc. during Resbang?

Allie: Gosh yeah, it changed a lot. In hindsight a bad idea, but this was the first fic I'd ever written with intention of posting and the longest piece I'd ever written. Before this I had written very little and my longest piece was maybe 10k. Throughout Resbang I've learned most of everything from the ground up, it's taught me a lot about my limits, how I work and writing in general. I've definitely improved a lot from the experience!

butterfingers: Let me tell you all about the airbrush tool that I discovered during Resbang. Amazing. Incredible.

daciafu: I learned how to paint backgrounds!!! Which is something I've always wanted to get better at. And I got super comfortable in Clip Studio (I'd just gotten it) as well as using texture brushes, so overall it was a very helpful and wonderful experience as a Resbang participant and as an arteest.

Q: Oh that reminds me butters, what program do you use?

butterfingers: Paint Tool SAI for the most part, and then Photoshop for color correction, borders, and, like, finesse things! :)

Q: Did you guys listen to any music that inspired you or helped you create?

Allie: Ah, yeah! I had a playlist actually! https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjTCaFkFU6rkD1edJwCZmHvJiUwlSUeGZ

If you want I can explain some bits of it? I use music a lot when writing aha. I like to associate certain songs with characters and character relationships, so most of the songs are connected to a particular part of the story. The Monroe Transfer, Wayfaring Stranger, and Mountains were all more general atmosphere stuff. Blame was very much related to Maka, which may not be apparent now, but yeah. Ragnarok I actually connected a lot with Willow Tree March. Soul was probably closest with A Lady. Crona had a lot of songs, but Neptune was most specific to them, as was probably Ghost Towns. Some character relationships I associated with certain songs, Crona-Ragnarok and Soul-Maka were both pretty connected to Always Gold, especially that dang last line "there were holes in you, the kind that I could not mend" oh man. Crona-Maka was definitely We Could Be Friends, Bloom, and Spell. Meet Me in The Woods I thought was a pretty good group song! Those are just some general bits of my thinking with the music aha.

daciafu: Definitely checked out Allie's dope playlist. For most of my working time, tho, I was either listening to TAZ: Commitment or MBMBaM oddly enough lol. I will forever think of Justin's uproarious laughter whenever I look at them lmao.

Q: Were any of the relationships difficult to characterize?

Allie: Mmm this may sound weird but early Maka-Crona was weird for me, cause they were kinda at that point where they want to (or at least Maka wants to) like each other, but they don’t like or trust each other at all and it's a weird spot for them. I'm used to writing them as at least interested by one another, if not enemies or already fond of one another, so this felt like a very odd place to start with them.

Q: Do you guys have future plans for writing/drawing? Aside from polishing and posting the rest of the fic!

Allie: I have,,, too many plans,, I need less plans,, someone please take them away from me, I can't be trusted with them,,,, I do want to do a sequel for this when I get it finished, playing on the detail about crows memory lasting five years so. Beyond that I have a SoMa fic to finish for the prompt challenge!! I'm working on a gift for Crescentcrona, which is a fantasy Kirona fic called Eat The Rich. I have polyam week fics that I'm cleaning up, I think my favorite so far is a Azusa/Naigus/Sid/Mifune one for Through The Seasons. And God I have so many CroMa fics I want to write, I gotta fill the AO3 tag. I think the biggest one right now is a wings-related soulmates au that I've been working on on the side since October I think?

daciafu: Yo there's one scene that I'm like sUPER hyped to do if Allie does the sequel because I already know exactly how I wanna draw it but I wasn't able to fit that in near the end, and it didn't end up in the first part. But there are a couple of other scenes Allie and I workshopped that would be super fun to do and I would love to draw them. Other than that, my drawing plans are pretty much working on commissions as they come in. Surprisingly my queue has been maxed out and I just got a full time job so of course now I'm like.... hm.... I'll get 'em done eventually!!

----

That’s the end of the AMAs for the 2017 season! Thanks again for reading along with us, and see you next year! :)

#AMA transcripts #resbang book club #rbbc #simple melody

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