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#in a customer mindset to notice
marsixm · 3 months
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most frustrating thing about instacart from my pov as a grocery store employee is how the mindset of someone not being at work if theyre a shopper (lessens the expectations of workplace protections, part and parcel for the way these contractor companies fuck labor up) has these people coming thru, not communicating properly, not knowing how to do their jobs, causing issues for us working within the store, and acting like entitled customers when they’re our fucking coworkers at that point
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ihaveverything · 26 days
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Limitless manifesting for beginners
part I - the basic concepts
part II - states, techniques, change
part III - mental diet, sats
part IV - daily life, time
ʚ part V - resistance, faith, the ''real'' world
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Changing your life can happen faster than you ever possibly imagined, but you first have to understand the basics of who you are. This goes beyond the common saying of “you don’t manifest what you want, you manifest who you are” into a deeper spiritual truth about our existence as souls and a reality far greater than what we see now. Each of us has many probable lives, access to infinite probable realities, and is truly the sole creator for our individual reality.
“First of all, a soul is not something that you have. It is what you are.” – Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul
Resistance
To enter a state is not the most difficult thing. In fact, it should be rather effortless, until the factor of resistance and strain comes in. There is no benefit in affirming or visualizing against how you feel, because the latter will always be the victor. In fact, it only reinforces lack because of avoidance.
“There is a great difference between resisting evil and renouncing it. When you resist evil, you give it your attention; you continue to make it real. When you renounce evil, you take your attention from it and give your attention to what you want.” – Neville Goddard, The Power of Awareness
Since we live in a physical reality, we often identify with the part of us that is responsible for daily activities, and we barely give any thought to the unconscious portion of ourselves that is the basis for creating the experience around us. We rely on our senses to survive and allow the outside world to determine how we feel. However, the concept of us being more than a physical form has been discussed in both scientific and spiritual fields. As you have likely learned from Neville and / or Seth, our consciousness is far more than a production of the neurons in our brain. Our own physical form, which we have so strongly identified with, is just like a custom fitting glove that we are constantly creating to suit our needs. We are in the physical as Gods in training, learning how to use our thoughts to create our human experience. This gift is something we were born with, and although the Law is not common knowledge to most people in this world, the truth about reality and our identity is not hidden. It is displayed in each of our lives on a daily basis, with a perfect correlation between the states we’ve been entertaining and the events that occur.
“However, the understanding of the causes of your experience, and the knowledge that you are the sole creator of the contents of your life, both good and bad, not only make you a much keener observer of all phenomena, but through the awareness of the power of your consciousness, intensify your appreciation of the richness and grandeur of life.” – Neville Goddard, The Power of Awareness
Knowing this perspective of being a fragment of God, it is completely up to us to create anything we desire with our imagination. There are 3D circumstances that seem to hold us back, but if you really think about it, what’s more limitless? The 3D world or your imagination? And which comes first? The imagination. Sometimes we wish things were different, we hope this will change, we wonder if that can happen, but notice how none of these are a solid confidence in your experience now. You are the only one limiting yourself to your 3D circumstances. Breaking free of this mindset can be as simple as remembering who we truly are and what our purpose on Earth is. No one knows what your individual purpose for coming here is, but just as an example, let’s say it’s to learn how to create a long lasting relationship with someone you love because that was something you failed to do in the previous life. You chose this life and consented to your current circumstances as a second try, but when you surrender your mind to what you created in the first place, it’s really just disappointing yourself for a second time when you could’ve taken this opportunity to learn. Now that was just a probable situation, and it doesn’t apply to everyone, but if you accept a new view of life and allow yourself to feel connected to infinite possibilities, doesn’t that sound much easier and more powerful than feeling stranded in a 3D world?
“How many of you would want to limit your reality, your entire reality, to the experience you now know? You do this when you imagine that your present self is your entire personality, or insist that your identity be maintained unchanged through an endless eternity.” – Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul
“It is not that physical reality is false. It is that the physical picture is simply one of an infinite number of ways of perceiving the various guises through which consciousness expresses itself.” – Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of Soul
Manifesting is effortless because it’s a decision, not a chore. If you were asked to get from Paris to Tokyo without a plane, that’s gonna take a lot of effort. You were not asked to do so. The key points to making that mental decision effortless is understanding life from a creator’s eyes + playfully using your imagination beneficially + gentle reminders that creation is finished + repeatedly making the same choice for which reality you will experience without trying to change anything in the 3D. As the Seth quote above says, your physical reality is not fake, and it’s actually a misconception to believe so. The people you meet everyday are real human beings with the same feelings and consciousness you have. However, there are many different versions of what you can experience, so your goal is to select something new. Telling yourself that 4D is the only real world and 3D is fake can lead to delusion or inner conflict when everything around you seems so real (which it is), because it could cause a spiral. If your SP left you in this reality, it does not mean that they are a fake puppet who doesn’t have a mind of their own. All it means is that your circumstances are aligned with whatever states you were dominantly entertaining, but you can change that at any moment. People often get confused with how to view the 3D because it gives them the most resistance, which brings them closer to trying rather than effortless manifesting. Your experience is made of internal selections, choices, and decisions. Choosing something better for yourself should be as easy as second nature, because who doesn’t want a better life?
“You must begin to trust yourself sometime. I suggest you do it now. If you do not then you will forever be looking to others to prove your own merit to you, and you will never be satisfied. You will always be asking others what to do, and at the same time resenting those from whom you seek such aid.” – Seth, The Nature of Personal Reality
Everyone who reads Neville and Seth should have come to the realization that we are connected to God / source. There is absolutely no power outside of you that determines your reality, so there’s really no reason for us to trust anyone but ourselves. Seeking outside help for more knowledge is a good start, but ultimately experience and application is the breakthrough moment for most people’s understanding in the Law. Nothing beats the feeling of your first major manifestation coming into fruition and you start thinking what more you can do next. Sometimes the only thing that stops you from seeing manifestation as effortless is having one foot in and one foot out. If you take a step forward but keep looking back at where you were before, then you haven’t really bought the Pearl of Great Price like Neville says. No teacher, book, guide, or video can do the mental work for you. At the end of the day your biggest motivator will and should always be yourself, because you need the drive to change your life.
Faith
When considering the best way to manifest your desires, it’s important to recognize that if you were bound to the 3d limitations of this world, many fundamental concepts such as creation is finished, infinite versions of yourself and others, different probable realities, imagination is not fiction, etc wouldn’t exist. Having an intellectual understanding of these things is not the same as feeling an emotional connection. Since the Law of Assumption places faith in breaking free of limitations and opening our minds to endless possibilities, it would also be helpful to view ourselves from a different perspective.
When people spiral over circumstances or are feeling resistance when doing techniques or returning to the state of the wish fulfilled, it is often because they lack a sense of control. They may view the current situation as solid, or their beliefs are too deeply rooted so they can’t see how the things they put attention on aren’t actually objective facts about reality. They could also feel like they are at a disadvantage, or are unsure of what to do when met with undesirable events because they aren’t finding comfort or confidence in accepting that they are actually the sole creator of their reality.
“Do not judge after the appearances of a thing. In judging after appearances you forget that all things are possible. Hypnotized as they were to the reality of appearances they could not feel the naturalness of sanity. The only way for you to avoid such failures is to constantly bear in mind that your awareness is the Almighty, all-wise presence, who without help, effortlessly out-pictures that which you are aware of being. Be perfectly indifferent to the evidence of the senses, so that you may feel the naturalness of your desire–and your desire will be realized. Turn from appearances and feel the naturalness of perfect sanity and sanity will embody itself. Your desire is the solution of your problem. As the desire is realized, the problem is dissolved.” – Neville Goddard, I Know My Father
Essentially what Neville explains in his teachings is that it is beneficial to live life from “God mode”, or in other words, a perspective where you truly are the only cause for every external materialization in the 3d world. I understand that there are many religious people who also follow manifestation content, and their beliefs may not resonate with saying “I am God”, which is perfectly fine. Ultimately the goal of this perspective is not to claim power for vanity, but to gain confidence and understanding in knowing just because you are a human, it does not mean manifestation is a powerless being trying to do magic tricks to make a miracle happen. When we view the Law as an unbelievable or difficult promise, mental dieting becomes much harder because there is a belief that prevents us from seeing things as attainable, or even effortless and naturally promised to us. The “God mode” perspective is helpful because it allows us to feel more connected with infinite possibilities that easily dissolves doubts and fears surrounding circumstances. Think about it this way, would God worry about being blocked by their person? Would God worry about not passing a job interview or not having enough money? No of course not, so you shouldn’t worry either. What you can gain from the Law of Assumption is fulfillment of your dreams and desires, so aligning your perception of yourself with someone that is easily capable of getting such things will lift a weight off your shoulders.
When you are going about life attending to your daily commitments, it can be easy to forget this perspective, because certainly anyone would look at you weirdly if you claimed “I am God and you are too”, but if you treat this as a playful reminder and an internal understanding that benefits your manifestation, it won’t feel like you’re usurping power. If you are waiting in line at the store or cooking at home and your mind wanders to the unlovely things, observe how you’re viewing yourself. Are you surrendering to physical human senses, or are you taking control by confidently returning to this new perspective?
Resistance is often defined by the emotions and thoughts we have, but if you think about where they come from, the root is always a belief. All circumstances, no matter big or small, are no trouble if you start believing in things that allow you to feel more powerful. You cannot possibly feel upset over something when you know you are connected to God and things will change because you say so. View life from the eyes of God, and your circumstances will reflect that back to you eventually.
Additionally, faith is believing in the unseen. How do you know what is unseen and what is improbable? You need to test it out. People always want to rely on others for motivation and success, but your life is your life. You have full responsibility and control over it, and there’s no excuse for anyone to stop themselves from reaching success because they always want to hear about someone else’s story first. It does not do well to compare or to worry. All the answers you need are within you. Ask yourself before you ask someone else, and learn to give yourself the willpower you need. A leap of faith is not as complicated or scary as it seems. You will gain faith after you realize this works for me, I’ve done it and now I will do it again. Joy from seeing other people’s stories will never be the same as the feeling of winning on your own. It’s understandable to question the Law after a significant period of no results, but ask yourself this question, “Have I truly changed my beliefs?” If the answer is no, then there’s no reason to doubt the Law, because you haven’t met the condition under which your 3D will reflect your desire. If the answer is yes, then that means you believe with full conviction that you already have what you want. With that being the case, then you are someone new. Why would that new version of you question where your results are? The logic of the Law is that you won’t get hurt or disappointed from applying it. Success is inevitable, and if you’re applying it properly, then there’s no reason for you to feel negative anymore.
The ''real'' world
I’m sure many people have wondered at least once in their lifetime what the meaning of life is, why are humans here, and what happens after death. There are curious minds that think about this existential question frequently, and people who don’t care about spirituality and manifestation beyond achieving their own desires. And that’s perfectly fine. People hold different beliefs all around the world. From religious ones to scientific theories, there’s always been a central question of what is the true purpose of our existence. The Law of Assumption is closely tied to metaphysical concepts such as the multiverse theory, cognitive scientific conclusions that studies how the brain / mind alters and shapes our realities, psychological perspectives on emotions and their subjectivity, etc. Manifesting is not a baseless optimistic lifestyle, nor is it confirmation bias. The Seth Material has introduced an extensive and detailed collection of works that explain how we have come to this world to experience life as humans. We are learning and evolving, shaping our realities with our thoughts, beliefs, and expectations. Seth even dives into the afterlife to explain death, afterlife choices, and other planetary existences and communities. He explains our existence:
“I am telling you that you are not a cosmic bag of bones and flesh, thrown together through some mixture of chemicals and elements. I am telling you that your consciousness is not some fiery product, formed merely accidentally through the interworkings of chemical components.” – Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul
For the people who found this material intriguing, some may have come to the realization that the world is quite more complex than what we can perceive right now. It is not to say that spiritual findings and beliefs should take over our daily life and affect our ways of living by completely branching off into a secluded mindset that differs from any other normal social interactions we may have. From my perspective, it’s a proposal that may be beneficial to those who are feeling lost or powerless. To recognize and embrace life as an experiential game of choices rather than an unknown path of challenges is a way to understand effortless manifesting. The most limitless we can be is always within our imagination, because it’s truly a place of possibilities, freedom, and creativity, so enjoy it.
“Suffering is not good for the soul, unless it teaches you how to stop suffering. That is its purpose.” ― Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul
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saphronethaleph · 23 days
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Literary Illusions
“It’s ironic,” Palpatine said, shaking his head. “He could save others from death, but not himself.”
Anakin frowned.
“And this is something the Jedi wouldn’t have told me?” he asked.
“Of course not,” Palpatine replied. “Is it a story you’ve heard?”
“Well, yes,” Anakin said. “Just now, from you. But not before then… and that surprises me, Chancellor.”
Palpatine shrugged. “I think you’ll find, Anakin, that the Jedi have not been telling you everything.”
“Maybe not, but… honestly, that sounds like exactly the kind of thing they’d tell me,” Anakin said.
Palpatine frowned.
“...what?” he asked.
“You know,” Anakin said. “Some Sith Lord works out how to bring people back to life from the dead, but his apprentice kills him and doesn’t bring him back to life because the Sith are inherently self destructive. If the two of them had worked together and been able to trust one another, they’d have been immortal.”
He shrugged. “It’s a good illustration of the inherently self destructive nature of the Dark Side, and it’s the dichotomy of how the Dark Side leads you to seek power in order to achieve goals that you then discard as irrelevant, because they’re not directly related to gaining power… hold on a second.”
Palpatine was a little distracted by trying to avoid mentally kicking himself, so it took him somewhat more than a second to notice what Anakin was doing.
“...Anakin?” he said. “Are you getting your comlink out?”
“Yeah,” Anakin replied. “Going to text Obi-Wan, ask him what he thinks of the story. Maybe there’s some kind of detail I missed which makes it less of a good illustration of the different worldviews and mindsets of the Jedi and the Sith.”
The Knight shrugged, his thumbs tapping away at his comlink. “He probably knows it, he knows all of the old stories.”
Palpatine blinked several times.
“...don’t,” he said, then very discreetly scrambled for a reason why. “It’s the middle of a performance. We don’t want to interrupt them.”
“Yeah, yeah, it’s on silent,” Anakin replied, with a shrug. “Or vibrate. Did I put it on vibrate… hang on, Chancellor, I’ll make sure it’s on silent…”
He turned the comlink over, then a loud bwing sounded.
“Oh, right, I forgot to set it to do not disturb mode,” Anakin said. “Hang on… uh… yeah, there we go, I forgot I added all these custom modes. I’ve been missing a lot of sleep lately.”
“Perhaps-” Palpatine began, but Anakin spoke over him.
“Huh,” he said. “He says he’s never heard of it either. Wants to know where I heard about it, it looks like he’s really interested… or maybe he’s trying to tell me about a death stick vendor, he’s terrible with multiglyphs and he thinks he’s good at them.”
Anakin glanced at the Chancellor, hoping for some solidarity, then visibly noticed that the Chancellor was several decades older than him and abandoned that.
“Is there a book I can get the whole story from?” he asked, instead. “Obi-Wan is better at nuances, like I say.”
“That is not the point,” Palpatine said, trying not to get visibly angry. “The point is that there is a way to save your loved ones!”
“Maybe there used to be, but not any more,” Anakin shrugged. “Like you said, this was a Sith thing and the Sith are all dead. Well, unless General Grievous is a Sith who knows how to heal people, but I doubt it given how much he got hurt, and I’m not sure Dooku knew it either… hey, if this story needs to be publicized more then maybe we could have them do a play of that instead?”
Palpatine blinked several times, as he tried to keep up with a Jedi with possible undiagnosed ADHD and found himself discovering a lack of talent for podracing.
“What?” he asked.
“You know, a play,” Anakin explained. “Dramatic betrayals, lost loved ones, it would probably do numbers. It’d be better than this, anyway.”
He waved his hand at the ongoing performance of Squid Lake.
“...what is wrong with Squid Lake?” Palpatine said, before reflecting that that had really been a stupid question for him to ask and that he should have asked a much better one.
“Well, uh,” Anakin began, looking a bit abashed. “Actually now I say it out loud this might be really culturally insensitive of me, but to me this play might as well be eighty minutes of people boasting about having enough water to swim in.”
“It’s a ballet,” Palpatine told him, now completely having lost control of the conversation.
“It’s just a less scary version of Sarlacc Pit,” Anakin went on. “Someone tried to drown me in a lake once, because they thought I couldn’t swim, but floating on sand is much harder, you barely have to do anything to escape a lake. You just float.”
Very belatedly, Anakin caught sight of Palpatine’s look of total befuddlement, and shrugged.
“Watto was a lot of things,” he said. “But he had culture.”
Palpatine’s hands twitched, as he very seriously considered the idea of abandoning literal centuries of Sith planning and decades of personal political advancement in favour of stabbing Anakin somewhere it would hurt.
It was extraordinarily tempting.
“...hold on,” Anakin said, slowly. “I guess… the thing I’d like most at the moment is for… and that means… this is literally one of those times when I could fall to the Dark Side because of it, like Darth Plagueis.”
He bestowed a grateful smile on Palpatine. “Thanks, Chancellor! I need to make a call, I guess the ballet won’t mind.”
Palpatine was so thrown by the swerve that he couldn’t think of a way to stop Anakin in the few seconds he had.
“Love?” Anakin said, into his commlink. “I… think we need to come clean, because otherwise I’ll fall to the Dark Side.”
Palpatine’s eye twitched.
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sendothetaurus · 2 months
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How to write good dialogue
Almost every story needs dialogue - obvious right? Well, this post is about the not-so-obvious sides of conversations. I've struggled a LOT with snappy and realistic speech, so I've made it my mission to collect some handy directives. Here is what I found:
Contents
Information Dumps
Setup And Payoff
Characterization Through Dialogue
Three Simple Questions
Four-Sides Model
Depth
About Answers
Sources And Credits
⮮ Let's go! (^▽^) ⮯
Information Dumps
Everybody knows them, everybody hates reading them. But how do we avoid them? Something really clicked for me when I understood context. If your character talks about something that happened in the past, they don't need to explain what happened. They were there. Here's an example:
"It would be nice if we at least got a B for that paper. Since I will go to college next year, I feel that this is important to me."
The speaker and the listener should be aware of the exposition (regarding their last year at high school). During dialogue, these conditions go without saying.
Setup And Payoff
Instead of dumping everything at once, let the reader guess what's happening. This is done by mentioning something that is not answered right away. Also dropping hints can increase tension.
Scene 1 "Why do you always carry that with you?" she asked and pointed at the box cutter. Her friend eyed her with suspicion. "For cutting." "Yeah, but why?" "Might come in handy sometime." Scene 2 An ice cold shiver ran down her spine as her fingers felt around the bag, searching for the familiar shape. There was nothing. The other tossed the thing onto the floor between them. "Care to elaborate?" She couldn't have known. "How could you!"
Someone definitely has a secret here that they don't want uncovered. It makes the reader speculate: Does she carry the knife to defend herself or does she plan on hurting someone with it?
Characterization Through Dialogue
The general rule of thumb is: Show not tell. If a character is shy, self-absorbed or chaotic, make them act like it. Also, readers take part in the characterization of your protagonists. Make them guess why a character acts a certain way.
"C- can I have your pen?" She twirled her thumbs and looked at the ground. "What the hell, no!" Disgusted, he brushed off his hands on the front of his jeans. "I'mma better disinfect that."
Notice how the girl is stuttering and the boy has a loose tongue. Mannerisms help identifying traits in a character. Everyone has a distinct way to speak (e.g. relaxed, polite, malignly) which makes it easier to tell them apart. Sometimes there is a difference between speech and behavior. This can be quite useful to highlight conflict inside a character.
Three Simple Questions
Who wants what from who?
Why now?
What happens if they don't get it?
These questions ensure plot consistency. For question 3 the only other outcome is conflict. Conversations thrive off of conflict and it is of benefit to have a supplicant and potential provider for a solution. It's basically intention versus obstacle.
1. She wants to be his wife. He doesn't want a marriage. 2. She is pregnant. 3. She needs to provide for a baby all on her own.
Tadaa, a conflict ensues.
Four-Sides Model
The four-sides model is a theory on communication. It assumes that a message has four distinct ways of being conveyed:
Facts -> data, facts, truth and relevance
Self-Disclosure -> explicit and implicit information about the own mindset; likes, dislikes, opinions
Relationship -> information about whether the person is liked or detested; approval and disapproval; "I assume you have [this] opinion of me"; body language
Want -> a direct attempt to influence the behavior of another person; advice, desire or instruction
Since this is highly technical stuff, I'll provide you with an example:
Customer: "I always drink my coffee black." 1. Fact: The coffee I drink is black. 2. Self-Disclosure: I like black coffee. 3. Relationship (POV of the waiter): Did I do something wrong? OR It's their fault! They ordered the wrong thing! 4. Want: Bring me black coffee.
Controlling the message through sender and receiver gives a new level of influence to an author. The relationship-level is the bottleneck in a conversation that holds the most potential for misunderstandings. I'm trying to be aware of it when I write subtext (see below).
Depth
On the nose dialogue is what we want to avoid at all costs. For this reason subtext is created in stories. Read this:
Scene 1 A: "I like you." B: "Nah, I don't like you back. You're so annoying." A: "Ouch, that hurts. I'm not sure if I heard that right." B: "We were never friends. Go away."
This is not how conversations work. Thankfully, dialogue like this is not entirely useless. It conveys what the characters really want to say. The challenge is to think of a way to not say the thing but keep a similar meaning.
The true meaning behind the dialogue is called subtext (scene 1). If I don't know how to continue after a certain line, I write down the subtext first before I decide on how to paraphrase it.
Finally, I add a fitting description of expression and body language if needed. I try to keep it short and simple.
Check this out:
Scene 2 She tucked her hair behind her ear. "I need a ride home later. Are you free?" -> I like you. "Sorry, all seats' re taken," he said without looking at her. -> Nah, I don't like you back. You're so annoying. "Uhm, okay. But I'm small. You could fit me in the footwell, honestly." -> Ouch, that hurts. I'm not sure if I heard that right. He leaned forward as if he had the urge to stand. "Ha, funny. But no, I'm not planning on doing something illegal tonight." -> We were never friends. Go away.
A character's action depends on their own intention and the other's response. I feel it is easier to keep track of what's happening behind the curtains when it's written alongside the dialogue.
Simultaneously, you can keep habits and traits in check. Does the the character apply all criticism to themselves? Are they disregarding or constantly marginalizing others? Do they worry only for themselves or solely for others? Subtext truly is the most powerful tool in conversation-writing.
About Answers
Did you know that you don't have to answer every single question? In fact, there are two other ways to show an emotion without telling it.
The first one is called sidestepping. The character ignores the posed question and carries on with an entirely different topic.
A: "Do you still love me?" B: "We should get going."
It's very obvious, right? By sidestepping the question, we can assume that the character is uncomfortable or angry with the other person.
The other way to answer is actually a bit paradoxical. Through silence, a great variety of emotions can be displayed. It is recommended to refrain from actually describing silence with words like "he remained silent", "he refused to say anything", "he never responded".
- The laptop hummed. - The birds chirped in the trees. - She felt her legs going numb from sitting in an uncomfortable position. - His eyes wandered around, searching the parking lot for a familiar face.
It feels more natural to explain the things that grab our attention when we sit in silence.
This is it, folks. That's all I could find on the topic - for now. If there's anything missing, I'd love to hear it.
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope this helped ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙
My sources are this and this video as well as this article.
Also a big thank you to @zoropookie for helping me with the colors ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
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yandere-kokeshi · 10 months
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Hi! Can I please request yandere ghost with a gn reader who works in the government and has a lot of money, so he constantly spoils him
Sorry if it's written in a confusing way, I use a translator
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Warnings: yandere behavior
A/N: No, 'cause this is so cute!! And you are totally fine! This made sense. Enjoy <3!
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He’s uncomfortable with being spoiled. As much as he appreciates it, it feels… odd.
It’s supposed to be him that’s meant to spoil you, not the other way around. However, regardless of his complicated poker face, Simon easily accepts the gifts and enjoys getting them. Seeing that you go out of your way, to buy him things, makes him happy and relieved.
Simon gets flustered when you give him things, especially if it's about an item he saw on TV or something you paid attention to in conversation.
While he doesn't appreciate that you work in the dangers of the world. He won't stop you from working, easily seeing that it makes you happy. But he does put on some strict rules he expects you to follow.
With the spoiling, he gets nervous and slightly embarrassed. Not at the fact it's you giving them, but the mindset of 'oh my god, you've given me something and I don't know how to react appropriately'.
The first time you gave him flowers, he's quiet and staring at them. Never in his life has he been given flowers. He smiles and thanks you, to which he goes on the day as normal – though, you quickly notice how hard he tries to keep the flowers alive, watering them as needed and changing the vase every so often and his mood gets grumpy when they die; resulting in you getting more.
Decided to go out of your way to buy a custom knife? Yeah well, he won't use it in combat. Simon doesn't wanna break it but will use it in the bedroom.
After a long day of groceries, you finally convinced him to lay on the bed stomach-first and started giving him a back massage? Yeah, he loves you. The groans and his deep voice mumbling against the pillows of: ‘Keep hittin’ there, sweetheart’ definitely show his appreciation.
Made him cookies, a small note of love stuck to it? Well, it made him smile; really big. He kisses you on the side of the head before he leaves for a few hours.
While you may think he'll throw it away, he doesn't. Every time you've given him a note, a small sticky message for comfort is snuck into a small box underneath the side of his bed.
The most appreciated thing you do is waking him up with his coffee. Black. With one cube of sugar and no creamer. With a side of scrambled eggs and bacon. It never fails to make his heart bloom with excitement.
Masterlist || Reblogs, comments, and likes are very much appreciated!! Stay well!!
© yandere-kokeshi 2023 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.
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regretmedaisy · 8 months
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i can see you - tom riddle x fmc/reader
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part II
loosely inspired by "i can see you" by taylor swift.
“I've been watchin' you for ages
And I spend my time tryin' not to feel it”
summary: She had always fancied Tom Riddle. It was an infatuation that bordered on love and obsession, that she had secretly grown and cared for, content with indulging in her fantasies and never bold enough to try and make them become reality.
When she meets him again in her adulthood, dormant longings resurface together with a newfound desire to be the object of his own devotion.
As their paths keep crossing, she starts to think he feels the same.
tags: afab mc, use of female pronouns and no descriptors (i tagged it as x reader because i guess it could be read as such if you use the same pronouns), somewhat period-accurate clothing, courtship (just a little because it's still tom riddle), fmc has a crush on tom, she's a bit anxious, a bit of fluff, explicit sexual desire, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, woman is on top.
please note that mc has a crush on tom, therefore the way she refers to him could sound a bit cheesy and exaggerated. i edited this last night and didn't read it again before posting. i'm sorry for any typos or grammar mistakes i missed.
bear with her in this one, she's a little anxious.
words: 6.7K
you can find part I here, I strongly recommend you read that one first.
this is me crawling out of my hole of shame to post this chapter.
i'm really sorry for this very late update, but the smut chapter is finally here after many days of writing (but still in time for smutober lol).
it's not crazy smut, but i hope it was worth the wait.
Part II: And I could see you up against the wall with me
She tapped her foot, pursing her red lips as she jotted a few numbers down on a parchment. She sighed, taking another folder from the pile on her side and checking if the reports corresponded. 
When Serena, her boss, had showed up that morning with two delivery men in tow, she already knew her day was going to take a detestable turn.
Serena had dropped three boxes full of last year's reports in the office and sprinted out of the door before they could say anything and try to stop her.
Apparently she had hired a cheap accountant to save money and now she had to review everything before the Ministry noticed and demanded an audit. Or rather, Serena had asked her to do it.
She was now holed up in the backroom while Will had taken her place in the main office, since Serena didn’t pay her enough to care about customers and save her from bankruptcy at the same time.
She glanced at the clock, noting that it was almost time for her usual break. She chewed the inside of her cheek and returned to the reports.
She wasn’t in the right mindset to meet Tom.
The day she had gone to see him had been like the calm before the literal storm. In the past week it had rained so heavily that she had had to give up on going out and he hadn’t come to post his letters. What had happened between them had been left unresolved.
She had replayed it so many times in her mind, at night and during idle moments in the office, picturing different ways in which it could have ended, desperately wishing she could indulge in his warm lips again.
The first few days she had fretted about it, but as the week had gone by without a word from him, she had just started to accept it as the normal course of things. Perhaps it had just been an extraordinary event, a moment that wasn’t going to repeat itself and that she needed to find contentment in. Perhaps it was supposed to be one of those memories she was going to return to in twenty years, thinking about everything she could have had, or it will sour in her mind, turning into regret while her lamenting soul grieved the possibilities of youth, the chances she had been too scared to take.
It didn’t matter that she was conscious of the anxious butterflies leading her decisions, she still didn’t want to find out if what she saw in him was just a product of her infatuated imagination.
She immersed herself in numbers, refusing to go down that rabbit hole again.
Fifteen minutes after the end of her break, a customer walked in. A beat of silence followed and then Will said, “She’s in the back.”
She almost jumped out of her seat, her heart rate picking up. She quickly smoothed her hair and sat straighter, crossing her legs.
Tom appeared in the doorway, his arm half raised as if he had wanted to knock. She pretended she had just noticed him.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Hello, Tom.” She gave him a mellow smile.
He was so good-looking, with his perfectly styled curls and black coat in the muted light of the cloudy morning. Her heart fluttered painfully.
He looked hesitant as he made his way to her and handed her a folded magazine. It was the weekly crossword.
“Thank you,” she said, taking it as her gaze met his. The way he was looking at her was so compelling it was impossible for her to divert her eyes.
He had been thinking of her, she realised, he had noticed her absence, perhaps even missed her.
“I hope I’m not disrupting your work.” His gaze trailed to the numerous papers scattered on the table.
“Not at all, a distraction is more than welcome.” The distraction of his presence was most desirable.
He drew closer, reading through them as he casually rested his hand on the back of her chair.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Maths mostly,” she replied, fiddling with the parchments to hide her nervousness.
He reached out over her shoulder to grab a folder but she placed a hand on his arm to stop him.
“I’d rather you didn’t. It’s still work.”
He dropped his arm. “You’re right, I apologise. I don’t wish to put you in an uncomfortable position.”
“It’s fine.”
He stepped to the side, tickling her neck.
“I’ll see you later?” he asked.
She had to stop herself from grinning.
“Of course.” 
She watched him with desirous parted lips as he left. He said goodbye to Will and she heard the door closing. It was only a matter of minutes before Will came to pry.
She grabbed the crossword, flipping through the pages. He had bought her her favourite one.
As she got up to put it next to her bag, a small note fell to the ground. It was a plain piece of parchment. But as she picked it up, ready to throw it on the table with the rest of the documents, words started to appear.
Her breath caught in her throat. She knew to whom that elegant and neat handwriting belonged.
She read the note. Then read it again to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating. 
“I hope to see you more often in the future.
You look stunning with that lip colour.
T.R.”
She brought her fingers to her mouth, staring at the words until each swirl of ink etched into her mind, terrified they might disappear.
Instead his message remained there, visible, tangible, real. He had taken time to write her a note, to think about something he knew she’d appreciate.
Something warm diffused in her chest, a new version of a familiar feeling, and a giggle escaped her as she realised the ridiculous effect he had on her. 
She was so engrossed in her reverie that she didn’t notice Will standing in the door until he cleared his throat. 
She quickly hid the message in her purse and  he was so considerate not to comment on it.
“How is it going?” he asked.
“Awfully slowly, these numbers are all over the place,” she huffed, returning to her chair.
He dragged a chair and sat across from her. He started bouncing his knee. “I know you’d prefer not to talk about this, but how are things between you two?”
She stopped twirling her quill. “What do you mean?”
Will shuffled awkwardly in his seat. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you but I’d hate to see you hurt.”
She tilted her head to the side, disliking the territory the conversation was heading towards.
He was struggling with his words. “He never- I never saw him interested in a girl. I just want to be sure you know what you can expect from him.”
She averted her eyes. “I have considered all the options.”
“And?”
“And I don’t know, Will!” she bursted out. 
Her flare of annoyance suddenly deflated, making room for embarrassment for what he probably saw as naivety.
“I know I’m probably getting ahead of myself.”
“You are smart, I just can’t stand watching you smile at the things he writes to you.”
She feigned offence and threw a balled up paper at him. 
“When you find someone, you’ll be just as ridiculous.”
He laughed and steepled his fingers in front of him. “I’m curious to know, when did it start?”
She scrunched her eyebrows, thinking about how much she wanted to reveal. “I don’t remember exactly. It was more like a sequence of events, until one day I was anxiously waiting for him to sit at his usual spot at breakfast,” she replied with a smile. Will was smiling too.
“You and half of Hogwarts,” he said.
She chuckled. “I miss those years sometimes. Everything was simpler.”
“I used to worry about everything,” he admitted. “But fears always seem so big.”
They really did.
“What do you like about him?” he asked after a beat of silence.
It was her turn to be at a loss of words. “He’s handsome…and always so mysterious. I think I always liked him because it was easy to imagine him being exactly what I wanted.” She looked at him hesitantly, fearing judgement, but he was just listening. “But I think it’s impossible for me to dislike the real him.”
They shared a small moment of closure. She had always wished for someone she could confide in, someone that could help her see beyond the fabrications of her wary heart, and perhaps she had finally found them.
The bell chimed and Will got up. 
“Do you want to come for lunch on Sunday?” she asked.
“I’d love to. I’m sorry for earlier, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
His gaze shifted between the door and her. “Just make sure you both want the same thing.”
He went back, leaving her at the mercy of her insidious brain and foolish heart.
Throughout the afternoon she had opened the note at least three times, giggling like a schoolgirl everytime she read his words.
Her mind kept straying to what he had said.
“I’ll see you later.”
She wasn’t sure what he had actually meant. Was he just going to stop by or was he going to wait for the office to close? She wasn’t even sure she could see him today, since she expected to stay late to solve Serena’s mess. 
Will popped in. “I have to check something at the owlery. I’ll be back in a while.”
“Alright, I’ll see you later.”
The door opened and closed and then she was submerged by stillness. It was soothing almost.
She had found out long ago that she enjoyed being alone, it freed her of any kind of expectation.
She turned up the heating with her wand and took off her jacket. Since they couldn’t light a fireplace in a room full of paper, they had refined a spell that kept the room warm and the humidity away.
It was a few minutes after the usual closing hour that the door opened again. She knew who it was.
He walked in, his cheeks slightly flushed from the cold and his lips reddened. 
“Are you still working?” he asked.
She nodded. “I’m afraid it’ll take a while before I’m free to go.”
“It’s not a problem,” he said, grabbing her crossword and a quill and sitting down on a chair, bending one leg so that his ankle rested on his other knee.
Her face heated as she watched him but she didn’t say anything.
As she returned to her work, she realised that silence was a strange assistant. It felt like every sound was heightened and she was becoming keenly aware of everything that was happening. The scratching of their quill on parchment, paper being flipped as she checked the numbers or he looked for a crossword he liked, his soft breath threatening to pull her close like a magnet, her absentmindedly chipping her nail polish.
She kept throwing glances in his direction and she could feel his eyes on her from time to time.
An unspoken craving was growing between them again. She had waited long enough.
She slowly got up, gathering her reports and stacking them in a neat pile. She then took them and walked over to the shelves, conveniently passing by Riddle in doing so. 
As she stored them, his chair scraped on the ground and she felt him draw closer. She deliberately turned around, meeting his eyes.
His gaze was deep, like he was trying to read every thought that crossed her mind just by looking at her. She wasn’t going to lay them bare for him. 
He raised his hand, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “Did you get my message?”
“I did,” she replied, stepping forward and trailing her fingers down his suit jacket, feeling the fabric. “You keep mentioning it but this is the first time I’ve seen you all week.”
“It was storming all week,” he pointed out.
She tilted her head, finding his eyes again. His eagerness was palpable. “Still,” she said.
He grabbed her waist, pressing her body flush against his. “And you still haven’t answered my question.”
She had thought about that moment since then.
“Tell me what you desire the most.”
What could she tell him? That she had been pining for him for so long she couldn’t imagine herself with anyone else? That she was jealous of even thinking about him with someone else? Will’s words played in her mind.
She leaned closer, murmuring against his ear. “Not until I know why you’re here, Tom.”
She left a kiss on his jaw, phantom lips brushing against his flawless skin.
“It’s a really uncomplicated answer,” he said, caressing her back.
“Explain it to me, then.”
Tender amusement tugged at the corners of his lips. “Do you really think I came here because I don’t own an owl?”
His words pulled at her heartstrings with raw delight and her mind went blank. Adrenaline was rushing through her as she listened to her impulses. It was enough, at least for now it was enough.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and tangled her hand in his hair, involuntarily tugging at the strands as she leaned closer. She could feel his warm breath as he pulled her in, gripping the silky fabric of her blouse.
She met his lips halfway, the burning touch consuming her as he pressed her against the shelves, one hand lost in her hair, the other splayed around her ribcage. 
She bit his lower lip, smiling as it elicited a groan from him and the kiss became more demanding.
It was a moment frozen in time, where she wanted to stay forever, like the scenery in a snowglobe.
“Hello?”
A man’s voice abruptly pulled them apart. She was breathless as she realised she had forgotten to lock the door. Was this a conspiracy? 
Tom was slightly panting and she left a small kiss on his neck.
“Don’t leave,” she whispered.
She used a finger to fix her smudged lipstick and went to see who had just dared to interrupt them.
There was a man standing in the office.
“We’re closed,” she said.
“But I saw the light on.”
There was a twitch in her jaw. “We are closed to the public. I must ask you to come tomorrow morning.”
He rolled his eyes and she ignored his grumbling as he left, locking the door behind him. When she went back, Tom was leaning against the table.
He turned his head towards her as she languidly got closer. She forgot pleasantries, immediately grabbing his face to kiss him again. He was quick to react, wrapping his arms around her.
His mouth trailed down, kissing her cheek, her jaw and then pressing against her neck, soft lips and the occasional scrape of his teeth. 
He grabbed her waist and spun her around, flattening her back against his chest and brushing her hair away from her neck to bite and lick her skin. His hands travelled down and he started gathering the fabric of her skirt. 
Merlin, it was finally happening. 
He caressed her inner thigh, tracing patterns and snapping the nylon of her stockings as his fingers moved excruciatingly slow.
Finally he pulled her underwear to the side, feeling the wetness between her folds with his fingers as his other hand cupped her breast.
She threw her head back against his shoulder as he stroked her clit, eliciting a sigh out of her, and she grabbed his thigh for support.
“I won’t drop you,” he murmured, amused, against her ear. He rubbed his palm over her clothed breast, the friction causing sparks to jolt through her body.
None of her fantasies came even close to what she was feeling right now.
“Should I trust you?” she asked, biting her lip to suppress a moan as he sunk one finger inside of her, his thumb still applying pressure on her clit.
“Such a great timing to ask me that,” he replied. She felt him smile on her skin.
“We don’t really know each other, Tom.” She dug her fingers into his flesh as he slipped in a second finger and started fingering her, stretching her as pleasure morphed her features. 
“And yet you are letting me do this.” He squeezed her breast, lewd wet sounds filling the room as he kept moving his fingers inside of her. 
She leaned her body weight completely on him, her legs unsteady as it was precarious the beating of her heart. 
He let out a low moan as she yanked his hair to catch his mouth, biting his lip hard to gain better access, their tongues tangling together.
He curled his fingers inside of her, an unrelenting wave of pleasure washing over her.
She stopped to imagine what it would be like if he dropped to his knees again, if he started kissing and licking her, if she could watch him at her mercy between her legs.
She realised in that moment that the fall down the precipice was inevitable. Tom had threatened to push her but she had allowed him to succeed, jumping into an abyss that felt unending but that could only allow two conclusions to her story.
What she had told Will was true. She loved the fantasy, all the glances, conversations, gestures that had never happened, that she had delighted herself with when the reality was harsher, but as she kissed him she knew that falling for the real Tom was unavoidable. Not if he kept touching her like that.
It was bound to happen, it was part of her story, the decision she was brave enough to take.
She focused on him, on the circles his thumb was drawing on her clit, on the indecent sounds falling from her lips, on his groans on her reddened skin, on him growing harder against her back. 
He pulled her hair back, tilting her head to meet her gaze. His eyes glimmered with rapture while hers were heavy-lidded, tension building inside of her. 
He didn’t take his eyes off of her, as if he wanted to memorise each detail of her, the way she looked at him, the way her lips parted slightly and the way she panted as she was nearing her orgasm.
“Just like that, darling,” he murmured, a pleased smile on his lips as he noticed she was still blushing.
She threw her head back, losing herself in the motion of his fingers, surrendering herself as blissed moans spilled out shamelessly. She squeezed his soaked fingers, and he kept moving, stroking her throughout her climax.
She panted, coming down from her apex in a flurry of emotions and flustered thoughts. He raised his wet fingers to her lips and she opened her mouth, tasting herself on her tongue as she sucked on them, never breaking eye contact.
“Good girl,” he said, holding her jaw and kissing her.
It was a slow kiss, meant to explore her depths in a different way from the breathless and unrestrained passion from before. She leaned into his palm, her hand closing around his wrist.
His arms snaked around her waist and he turned them around, pushing under her thighs to lift her on the table.
The kiss transformed again.
Teeth and tongues met with vehemence, burning urgency guiding their movements as he brought her legs around his waist and she quickly started to unbutton her blouse.
But at the third button, she stopped. 
Tom noticed the shift in her demeanour and drew back, observing her. Her eyes flew to the clock, as she had just remembered about Will.
She noticed with disappointment that they had no time.
“What is it?” he asked. She didn’t miss the urgent tone of his question.
“Will will be back any time now,” she replied, leaving a peck on his lips. 
He cleared his throat and stepped back, composing himself. She got off the table and
cool hands unexpectedly reached her again, adjusting her clothes and stockings. She shivered at the contact.
He smoothed her skirt and put his coat back on, watching her as she scribbled something on a piece of paper and gave it to him.
“If you want to stop by one of these days.”
“I remember where you live,” he replied, reading the address she had written down.
She shrugged, holding out one finger to wipe away the lipstick at the corner of his mouth.
“Do you have to go back to work?”
“I was supposed to meet with a potential supplier, so yes.”
“I’d stop by the bathroom before,” she advised, gesturing for him to go as she herself needed to compose herself again.
She braced herself against the threshold, leaning her head on the hard wood as she watched him unlock the door and leave. 
Then she was alone, finally finding an answer in the cluster of hypotheses that had tormented her mind.
Two days later, as she was returning from her meeting with Serena, she found Tom waiting for her.
He was talking to Will and they both turned to her as she entered, feeling tremendously self-conscious.
“How is Serena?” Will asked.
“Dim-witted as always,” she replied, earning a laugh from Will.
Her eyes trailed to Riddle, holding an unspoken question. 
Will seemed to notice because he stepped forwards.
“It’s quite late, you can go if you want, I’ll close.”
Tom didn’t wait for him to repeat himself, pushing down the handle and holding the door open for her.
She mouthed a ‘thank you’ to him and followed Tom outside. Once in the street, she huddled herself in her coat and took the arm he was offering her. 
“May I walk you home?” he asked.
“Of course,” she said, a little breathy, still not immune to the chivalrous manners he always had with her.
They strolled through the streets, passing by scarcer and scarcer people as the stores emptied and everyone returned home seeking a tranquil evening.
She held his arm tightly, her fingers tracing delicate patterns on the fabric of his coat.
The first time they had walked together it had felt like an accident, a singular mistake in the already waved threads of her life. This time, she yearned for so much more than she wanted for the error to repeat itself; she was willing to cut the strings herself and tie them back together, as messy as it might have looked. 
They crossed the road and he gently put a hand on her waist, pushing her away from the pavement. 
“Would you fancy dinner?” he asked. There was a foreign quality in his voice and when she turned to look at him, he averted his eyes. She blinked bewildered. Was he nervous?
“I’d love to,” she replied and she noticed his chest rising like he had just begun breathing again. “But not tonight.”
An almost imperceptible smile cleared his expression at her answer and she leaned her head on his shoulder, basking in his mere presence.
When they reached her front door, she looked for her keys with embarrassingly clammy hands. 
As she lifted her head to ask Tom if he wanted to stay, she found his eyes impatiently boring into her bag. 
“Would you-”
His gaze snapped to her, serious and scorching. “Don’t even ask.”
Something coiled between her legs at the way he was looking at her. She nodded and walked up the few stairs to her door, unlocking it.
“Second floor,” she said, more to fill the silence than anything else.
They stepped into the building, the sound of her heels and the soles of his shoes hitting the stone ricocheting through the empty hall.
She turned to gesture to him to follow her when he grabbed her face, kissing her as he pushed her against the wall by the foot of the stairs. Her hands tangled in his hair, tugging at it just as she suspected he loved by the way he always pressed himself harder against her. 
He curved his palm around her cheek, better angling her face as their tongues met.
“I have a nosy neighbour,” she said after they pulled apart to catch their breath. “She is probably spying on us through her peephole.”
Tom didn’t think twice about it, taking her hand and leading her up to the second floor. She stifled a laugh as she unlocked the door, Tom’s lips skimming against her neck as she did, and was left breathless when he closed it unceremoniously behind them, resuming from where they had been interrupted.
As she dropped her bag and grabbed his waist, walking backwards into her living room, she remembered there were clothes somewhere - perhaps in the bathroom but she wasn’t sure - that she had forgotten to put away yesterday.
In any case, Tom didn’t look particularly interested in how tidy she was.
They quickly took off each other's coats and discarded them on the floor.
He sat on her sofa, pulling her down with him.
She was straddling him, her knees digging into the plush cushions as his hands appreciatively caressed her back, moving up and down and occasionally squeezing. She lit the fireplace with a wave of her hand.
She rocked her hips, rubbing against him and eliciting a long awaited moan from him. She grabbed the collar of his shirt, their lips collading so hard she was sure she cut him.
She helped him out of his jacket and vest and undid his tie, smoothing her hands on his white button-down.
“I’ve waited too long,” she said, quickly unbuttoning his shirt and grinding against him. Her hands disappeared under his undershirt and ran over his pale chest, lightly scratching his skin.
“Slowly, my dear. We will get there,” he replied between kisses.
His palms kept tracing her thighs and his face buried in her neck, nibbling at the thin skin.
When she was a small girl, before she discovered sex, Tom Riddle was just a boy she liked. During puberty, sharing stories and questions with her friends, she started to understand what was the sensation that passed through her everytime she was close to him, the one that made her cheeks redden and her mind go somewhere she wasn’t yet comfortable with.
As an adult, sexual relations weren’t unfamiliar to her, but this carnal longing, the need of a physicality that went beyond her skin touching his, was.
He opened her blouse, revealing her silk slip and bra underneath.
She wanted to touch his soul, to hold it and comprehend it.
Her eyes fell on the tattoo on his forearm, black tendrils of ink in the shape of a serpent slithering out of a skull.
“Does this have a meaning?” she asked.
He followed her gaze, blinking surprised at her question. “It does.”
“Am I prying too much if I say I’m curious to learn it?”
He bit his lip, opening and closing his fist as if he was scrambling for words. Or perhaps he was just determining if he could trust her.
“It’s a reinterpretation of the ouroboros, the snake eating its own tail,” he finally said. “It symbolises eternity and the renewal of the being after rebirth.”
She traced her fingers on his skin, following the outline of the snake. “And what does your interpretation mean?”
“There is time to talk about it later,” he whispered, his teeth biting her neck and sinking lower, kissing her collarbone and her sternum, moving the fabric covering her breasts to the side.
She let go of the subject. She knew what it meant not being comfortable sharing your life.
He held one breast between his fingers, latching his mouth over the other, sucking her nipple and twirling his tongue around it.
She moaned, rolling her hips faster as he revered her bosom, the cold air hitting her moist skin and making her shiver as he took her other nipple in his mouth, lightly tugging at it until she reached the point where pleasure and discomfort mixed.
“Since we are in the mood for confessions…” she said between moans. He raised his head and looked at her waiting for her to continue. She hesitated, collecting all her courage.
“Why did you pursue me?”
His eyes softened, glimmering with fondness. He brushed a strand of hair away from her face.
“Because there is something extremely valuable in your devotion.” His voice was an intimate murmur, a confession no one else could hear.
She freezed, turning her head to the side to hide her mortification.
He took her chin, searching for her eyes until she finally gave in.
“Don’t be embarrassed, darling, I respect it, I understand it. Obsession keeps us alive, it’s what drives us.”
She swallowed the lump of embarrassment in her throat. “Do you enjoy it?”
“Being the object of the desire of such a woman? Of a witch? I do,” he replied, and he was so direct and earnest that her heart swelled.
He lifted her to sit on the sofa, sliding down on his knees on the floor and taking off his shirt and vest. She remained silent as he rolled down her tights, his lips gliding down her smooth skin. He unbuttoned her skirt and helped her out of it, tracing patterns on her inner thigh as his other hand felt her damp underwear.
She tensed, something tightening in her lower abdomen and her eyes fell down to his trousers.
He kissed the crease of the thigh, like he had done that one time at Borgin and Burkes, but this time she wasn’t letting anyone interrupt them. 
He took off her underwear, his movements deliberately slow, and kissed her everywhere, except there.
His lips felt hot on her skin, searing her flesh like she had often dreamed about, carving his way into her body the same way he had done with her mind and heart, until her entire soul was consumed by him, until he could finally close that fist and feel her in a way nobody had before. 
Her breath hitched as he delicately kissed her mound, spreading her legs apart. She leaned her head against the backrest, licking her lips with anticipation, and she couldn’t contain a whimper as he felt his tongue dragging down her slit, sweet and cruel.
He took her clit in his mouth, sucking on it as his hand splayed on her abdomen to keep her still.
She squeezed her eyes shut, overwhelmed.
“Look at me, darling,” he murmured against her folds. His breath was warm and pleasant.
She obliged, meeting his devilish grinning figure between her legs. She was incapable of looking away as he resumed his work, she didn’t want to look away. She wanted to watch him, finally allowing herself to fully indulge in him, in what he wished to do for her.
She observed his curved eyelashes, the way his perceptive eyes followed her reactions, refining his movements to please her better.
He sucked her labia and she moaned loudly, the idea of him enjoying this as much as her being exhilarating.
He threw her leg on his shoulder, resulting in her figure sliding down the cushions and him gaining better access to her. 
His tongue probed her entrance as he coated his fingers in her wetness. He slipped one finger in, working her thoroughly as she gripped his hair, keeping his head in place.
He inserted a second finger, his tongue on her clit moving accordingly to the delighted sounds she emitted.
“Tom,” she cried urgently as she tried to press herself harder against him.
He curled his fingers inside of her and her hips jolted upwards, arching her back to an uncomfortable angle as she reached her orgasm with lascivious bliss, her obscene moans matching the wet sounds he produced by licking her until she came down from her climax.
“Tom,” she said again, so breathless her voice was a raspy whisper.
“I know,” he said, kissing her leg and inhaling deeply, like he was trying to commit the moment to memory.
He brought his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean as she let her watch.
She gently pushed him onto the carpet, bracing her hands on his shoulder as she sat on top of him. The fire was burning, enveloping their almost naked figures in warm orange light, heating their already scalding skin.
She took off her blouse with quivery hands, his gaze tracing her naked form that was slowly revealing itself. She hooked her fingers into the straps of her slip, pulling it down and then getting rid of it altogether. His hands on her waist tensed as she did the same for her bra.
Her lips parted as he touched her breast with both hands, kneading the soft flesh, tracing her areolae. 
She undid his trousers, pulling down the fabric until they were both completely naked. She took him in her hand, her fingers closing tentatively around him. Her hand started sliding up and down, her pace getting quicker and more confident as moans escaped him. She brushed her thumb on his tip, her eyes admiring what was in front of her. His lips were swollen, residue of her lipstick still on them, his hair was tousled, curls falling disorderly on his forehead, his eyes heavy-lidded as he looked at her. She felt a rush of satisfaction in knowing his current state was her doing, that she had enough power over him to ruin his flawless exterior, to make him want her to do it. 
His lips caught hers and he gently pushed her hand away. 
What happened after felt like rehearsed choreography, something so familiar it was impossible to forget. Their bodies moved together, their movements responsive to each other, doing and touching exactly where it mattered.
She pushed herself up on her knees, slowly lowering herself until she sank down on him completely, shuddering breaths escaping her lips.
His jaw was tense as she placed a hand on his shoulder for support, positioning herself better.
She didn’t break eye contact as she rolled her hips, soaking in the hazy blue of his eyes, in every twitch of his jaw and emotion he was feeling as she increased her pace, in his voice murmuring her name against her ear as his hands squeezed her tights and traced her back.
Skin slapped against skin, his touch inebriating as he felt every part of her, caressing her, massaging her, kissing her until she couldn’t take it anymore. Almost.
His hand dipped between her legs again, stroking her clit as she rocked her hips, eliciting groans from both of them.
Sentiment and pleasure fused together in an exhilarating moment, seared in her mind and flesh forever.
She kissed him again - she could never get tired of that - and bit his lower lip roughly as his other hand went to her breast again, pulling at her nipple. 
She threw her head back, letting his mouth scrape over her neck and chest, leaving behind scorching wet kisses. Or perhaps those were marks reddening her skin, she didn’t particularly care.
He gripped her waist, thrusting upwards as she held onto him tighter. Her nails drew half-moons into his back and she bit his neck, the fibres of the carpet scratching her knees.
The lights in the flat fluttered momentarily.
His fingers increased the pressure on her clit as his thrusts grew in intensity with one purpose in mind. 
She bit her lip, trying to hold back, to prolong this instant of pure bliss before she inevitably plummeted onto the other side.
She arched her back, moving accordingly to his rhythm, her hips bucking erratic as she rubbed against his pelvis. 
And then she fell down, unrestrained, her walls closing around him as she moaned uncontrollably. He didn’t stop, drawing circles on her sensitive skin until her breath found a semblance of steadiness again. 
“You did so good,” he whispered against her forehead, brushing a strand of sweaty hair away.
She slumped against him, her hands grabbing onto his biceps as he chased his own pleasure, his movements turning frantic, losing his rhythm.
She found herself murmuring against his skin the same things she had never had the courage to say out loud, not even to herself. She wasn’t sure he was even listening to her, engrossed as he was, but it didn’t matter.
He squeezed her tights once and she understood, rolling to the side as he deftly touched himself, fast strokes that culminated in white spurts all over his hand. She watched him mesmerised
He turned to look at her, his chest rising and falling rapidly. The fire casted shadows on his gorgeous face. 
They stayed like that for a long moment, gazing into each other, trying to guess what the other was thinking, making sense of what remained of themselves after what had just happened.
Did it have the same momentous effect on both of them? Or was it just her that knew she couldn’t go back to being acquaintances after this?
“Do you want to stay here tonight?” she asked. Her voice sounded faint and husky to her own ears.
“I do,” he replied without a second of hesitation.
They didn’t get up, instead resting against the foot of her sofa. She curled up against him as his hand traced indistinct patterns on her skin, remaining in this haze of indiscernible unspoken feelings they were both still trying to find a name for. 
When she woke up the next morning he was gone. As she took in the cold sheets and missing clothes, her heart threatened to crack.
She got up groggily, conclusions already forming in her mind, building the most pessimistic of pictures.
She felt anxious as she wore her robe and opened the door, heading straight for the bathroom. Halfway down the corridor, the sound of someone flipping through a newspaper halted her in her steps.
She stepped into the kitchen, finding Tom sitting in a chair with his legs crossed.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning,” she said back, adjusting the belt of her robe. 
She noticed he had made breakfast, a steaming coffee pot, kept warm by magic, and some pastries she had never bought waiting for her on the table. 
She turned to take a mug from a cabinet so that she could hide her smitten smile. When she closed the cabinet, she found him looking at her.
There was no need for words.
“Where did you get that?” she asked as she poured herself some coffee, referring to the newspaper. 
“I stole it from your neighbour, I hope she won’t mind.”
She laughed. “So you know how to make a joke.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
She sat next to him, crossing her legs. She perhaps needed to rethink her choice of slippers.
“You were always so serious growing up.”
She put a spoonful of sugar in her coffee. 
“That never seemed to deter you.”
“It doesn’t.”
He took a sip of his own coffee. “Good.”
“Does it deter you, knowing how I feel?”
He blinked. “It never had. It makes it more interesting if I have to be honest.”
She blushed, scared to ask the next question.
“How long have you known?”
He got up, brushing his knuckles on her cheek.
“Long enough to see you for who you truly are.” 
He bent to give her a chaste kiss. “I should go, the shop opens in half an hour.”
He put on his coat and grabbed his leather gloves from his pocket. She turned in her chair, treasuring the last few moments of him in her apartment.
“There’s still a lot you haven’t learned yet.” 
She refused to be an open book to him. There was so much about her that was still incomprehensible even to her and too much she wanted to show him on her own terms. She wanted to be enigmatic, to drive him mad.
“I know.”
Her disappointment was visible on her face as she was met with his silence. She had wanted to continue that conversation, to learn what he had observed.
Instead he opened her front door, throwing her one last glance, heavy with unsaid intention she hoped she wasn’t imagining, before leaving. 
She had almost finished her breakfast when she noticed a small note under the newspaper he had left behind. She grabbed it faster than she was willing to admit, almost knocking over her cup in the process, and unfolded it.
“Dinner tonight?
I’ll pick you up at eight.
T.R.”
the last part is a bonus scene i wanted to write to apologize for my tardiness. tom is a little different, but I hope he isn't too out of character.
i honestly had so much fun writing this short story and exploring a different tom from the one i usually read and write about. i hope you enjoyed this and thank you for reading!
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sturnioloshacker · 2 months
Text
coffee confession - a chris sturniolo short
a/n: not requested; lowercase intended 
summary: chris comes to a realisation that he’s in love 
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chris had always been the kind of person who approached life with a pragmatic mindset. love, he believed, was something that happened to other people, not to him. yet, despite his rationality, there was one thing he couldn't quite shake: his growing feelings for someone unexpected. that someone was you. it all started out of pure innocence. chris was a regular at the coffee shop where you worked as a barista. you would take his order with a sweet and polite smile, and you would exchange brief conversations. but as the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, chris found himself looking forward to his daily visits more and more.
he noticed the small details about you—the way you always added a cute note on his cup lid, the crinkle of your nose when you laughed with your co-workers, the gentle lilt of your voice when you gave him his drink. at first, chris dismissed these observations as mere curiosity. after all, he saw you smile like that with every customer that comes in. but as time went on, he noticed that no one else got cute little cup lid notes, that no one else got a sweet treat with their drink, that no one else received the slight shimmer in her eyes apart from him. he couldn’t deny the truth any longer. he was in love with you.
the realisation hit him like a ton of bricks one rainy morning after he and his brothers finished filming at 4am. they walked in and his eyes immediately focused on you. while matt and nick were discussing about the video they just filmed, chris was watching your every move. you were laughing with your favourite co-worker over something they said and it was in that moment that he knew with absolute certainty that he wanted to be one to make you laugh like that every day. but confessing his feelings was easier said than done.
chris was terrified of rejection, of ruining the easy connection they had developed over countless coffee orders. what if you didn’t feel the same way? what if you found his confession awkward and off-putting? for days, chris wrestled with these doubts in his mind, the voices making it overwhelming to think properly. but in the end, love won out over fear. summoning all his courage, chris approached the counter with a nervous smile, his hands trembling slightly as he watched you set down his usual drink. 
“hey,” he said, his voice shaking as he breathes in deeply.
“listen, i know this might seem completely out of the blue, but there’s something i need to tell you.”
“sure, what’s up?”
taking another deep breath in, chris plunged ahead, his words tumbling out in a rush.
“i’ve spent a lot of time getting to know you, and... i’ve realized that I have feelings for you. more than just friendly feelings. i know it's probably unexpected, and maybe even a little awkward, but i couldn't keep it to myself any longer."
there was a moment of silence as you processed his confession, your expression unreadable. but then, to chris's astonishment and relief, a soft smile spread across your face, lighting up your eyes.
“i’ve been hoping you'd say that," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. 
“i’ve been feeling the same way."
and just like that, everything fell into place. the doubts and fears that had plagued chris for so long melted away, replaced by a warmth and certainty he had never known before. as you reached across the counter to take his hand, chris knew that this was only the beginning of their journey together—a journey fuelled by love, courage, and the simple joy of sharing a cup of coffee with the person who had captured his heart.
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phantomyre · 9 months
Text
Analyzing Vincent's Chamber in Rebirth
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Vincent's Chamber as seen in FF7 OG
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Vincent's Chamber as seen in Crisis Core Reunion
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Vincent's Chamber as seen in Dirge of Cerberus First off-- this is obviously highly speculative, and borderline obsessive, but anyone who knows Squeenix and has done any kind of deep-lore investigation with FF7, you'll know that they like to include a lot of details and symbolism. As such, I think we can glean a few things based on what we see within the 4 seconds of Vincent's reveal. For those who've played FF7 OG, you may immediately notice the 'dungeon' Vincent is meant to be locked in no longer resembles a prison-- but rather a study lounge. Cobwebs, skeletons, chains, etc are all absent. Not only that, it is furnished in such a way that implies someone still lives there. One of the first details we may notice is the ample books strewn about, both half-hazardly stacked around an antique luxury leather chair, and many more by a large bookshelf and others besides. One book in particular is laid open beside on a nearby coffee-table, indicating it was the most recent book of study. Notably, there is a porcelain mug beside the open book, presumably filled with alcohol as there are several liquor bottles nearby. The lantern placed in the center appears to belong to Cloud and Co as the room is already heavily lit by wall lights and candle-sticks. Likely Cloud and Cait ventured into the chamber on their own before the rest of them team showed up, Vincent being awakened by Cloud and Cait as they've fallen beside the coffin. And speaking of coffin...
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Not only does Vincent have a Cerberus gun and phone, but now he has a custom Cerberus coffin as well. While we can speculate who might have decorated his coffin, Cerberus is symbolic for Vincent's mindset (Cerberus guards the gates of hell in Greek lore, meaning Vincent is associated to being the 'keeper of hell's gate' and how he has locked himself to his nightmares/past). The fact that now he has a custom coffin implies that it's no longer a temporary piece. Instead, it has become a part of him, if not permanently. Much like his Cerberus gun. Notice how it's also not dusty but very clean, plush on the inside, and even has a pillow of all things. Certainly doesn't look to be something a self-deprecating, self-loathing individual would sleep in. Moving on to the other parts of the room... One of the more interesting pieces of furniture in the room is the wood stove placed conveniently close to Vincent's coffin and the coffee table (no, that is not a TV). It looks as though Vincent has decided to forego suffering the chill of the damp cold basement, this time-- a stark contrast to the overall environment he had previously been placed in.
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Once we get a better view of the other side of the room, the room is notably very warm in terms of color-tone, juxtaposed to the cold tones of the outside of the chambers. Might this be a type of metaphor for how Vincent appears cold on the outside yet is warm on the inside? What is also strange is that there appears to be yet another basement just outside of Vincent's chamber as it goes even deeper into the basement. This implies that Vincent is not locked in the deepest part of the basement as was once assumed. Once again, the room is clear of dust and otherwise looks fairly clean. Yet again implying someone has been active within the room. Looking towards the back, the doors are now double-doors as opposed to the single dungeon-style door. Last but not least-- Vincent himself is different. As seen in the image above, and as many have noted, Vincent's hair is no longer unkempt or barbed. As a matter of fact, it is similarly styled to Cloud's hair but more importantly, looks pretty soft for being asleep for almost 30 years. SE has progressively been adding barbs to Vincent's hair, but this time around, he is completely devoid of Chaos-aesthetics. His cloak is no longer torn in exaggerated forms, as well, though it still looks very worn on the hem. Some minor details are that his buckles have been rearranged as seen on his thigh and waist (thankgoodness they kept the tiny DoC waist and slutty hips). The buckles on his leather 'shirt' are all arranged on the front instead of off to the side. He also appears to have something on his left thigh, though it is extremely hard to tell. His gauntlet looks slightly altered and his sabatons look more functional in terms of movement, though keeping the overall iconic design. The biggest alteration of his attire are the grieves attached to his shins which look as though they will provide a lot more protection (and damage) while performing melee and close-range combat. Over-all, Vincent looks a lot more like a medieval knight than ever before.
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CONCLUSION: What's all of this tell us, you might ask...? Of course it could all be merely over-analyzing. However, I think what is being presented to us is a visual representation of who this version of Vincent really is. It doesn't look like he has been merely sleeping in his coffin for the past 20-30 years and condemning himself to eternal torment. Unless the room is being regularly used by someone else, it appears as though Vincent actually been fairly active, albeit behind closed doors. Everything from the books, the wine, the layout, etc. all seems to indicate we may no longer be dealing with a Vincent who only wanted to seal himself away in his despair-- but rather someone who is actively searching for answers. The Vincent we meet in Rebirth may no longer be the ultra 'emo' character fans have always known him to be. Something has changed about Vincent. And with the way things are going in the Remake trilogy, I don't think anyone should be surprised at this point. Because if there's anyone outside of Sephiroth and Aerith (and now Red) who ought to have some knowledge of what's taking place-- it should be Vincent. Edit: One story-point I neglected to note--- if Vincent has indeed been delving into the archives of Shinra Manor, and by default the library, then we might expect him to have some working knowledge of Omega/Chaos, and the Protomateria already. This might be expected to an extent, given what we've already seen in Remake. And if anything else... it was just a fun silly fan-speculation.
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magnetothemagnificent · 10 months
Note
Hello! I do hope this doesn't come off too presumptuous, but looking through your blog, you seem like the kind of chap who'd be able to answer my question better than the hodge-podge Google's been throwing at me
I was raised by Messianic "Jewish" parents (not Jews, just Christians stealing your traditions and holidays, but I'm sure you're familiar), and now that I've left Whatever That Faith was, it's become more and more obvious to me how much my parents basically just forced Christian Doctrine onto Jewish tradition.
Anyway, when I was a kid, I was taught that the reason people fasted on Yom Kippur was so that in denying our bodies of sustenance, we would learn to more fully rely on God, with an added bonus of: we're supposed to be too guilty for our sins to eat on Yom Kippur. To me that feels very Christian, specifically extremely Baptist.
So my question for you would be: Is that actually why Jewish people fast on Yom Kippur? Or is there a different reason?
First off, I applaud you for recognizing the problematic environment you were raised in and doing the work to educate yourself. That takes a lot of courage and strength and I'm proud of you.
You may notice that in Judaism, we rarely agree on anything, so I'll talk about three reasons.
One of the main reasons I was taught for fasting on Yom Kippur was to remove any distractions so that we can focus purely on reflecting on the past year and working towards bettering the new year and ourselves. If it was about suffering, then people who medically or psychologically cannot fast would be commanded to fast anyway, when in reality it is forbidden to fast if you physically cannot. In fact, we are commanded to eat a lot the day before Yom Kippur so that we don't suffer while fasting. Yom Kippur has a lot of additional prayers, and so we really end up spending most of the day and night before in synagogue, and don't really have time to eat, anyway. Essentially, we're supposed to "hyperfocus" in a sense on our spiritual reflections of that the day.
Fasting isn't the only commandment of Yom Kippur- we are also commanded to refrain from excessive annointing or bathing (in modern applications- don't shower, don't use skin creams if you don't have to, don't have a foot bath, etc), sexual intercourse, wearing leather shoes, and more also don't wear jewelry. This is in line with the commandment to "afflict" one's soul on Yom Kippur, which actually isn't the same as the Christian idea of affliction- we're not supposed to be in pain or suffering, but rather just depriving ourselves temporarily of certain pleasures or desires so that we can focus on a more spiritual mindset that is unique to Yom Kippur.
There is another interpretation of why we fast which is so that we become more akin to angels. Angels are entirely spiritual beings whose entire purpose is service of G-d, and many interpret the different rituals of Yom Kippur as attempting to emulate angels. We pray a lot of Yom Kippur prayers standing (if we're able to) with our feet and ankles together to mimic the appearence of angels, who do not have legs or any lower-body but rather "stand" as a column. We do not eat or have sexual intercourse or bathe or anoint because angels do not need to and are even unable to engage in such actions. We wear white to appear like angels. And because angels don't have free will and are therefore incapable of sin, they have nothing to be forgiven for, and therefore in this way we may encourage G-d to see us as angels and see us as blameless.
Some more reading:
Why Fast on Yom Kippur?
Yom Kippur Customs and Rituals
Yom Kippur Fasting
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idle-daydreams · 9 months
Text
Violently Yours
Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, stalking, mentions of abuse and murder
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Chuuya can’t stop looking at you. Can’t stop thinking of you, thinking of all the things he could do to you.
He wants you so bad, it frightens even himself.
And the worst part is that you don’t even know it. You only know him vaguely as some guy, some guy who lives nearby because he stops by the convenience store almost every night. What you don’t know is that he lives almost on the other side of town, far from your crappy little neighbourhood, and that it takes him an extra hour to make a detour to your place of work.
Chuuya doesn’t know what to do. His usual bravado deserts him when in your presence, and he can’t help but slink between the shelves, sneaking peeks at you as you work behind the counter. Surely you must have noticed him - he’s not bad looking, after all, and he puts a lot of effort on his appearance - but you don’t treat him differently than any other customer. He hates it a little, but also finds it oddly exciting, because you treat him just like any other human being. You banters back when he makes small talk, smile at him when you ring up his purchases, and wish him a good day when he leaves. For someone used to being treated with fear and awe, it was a welcome change.
You, on the other hand, are effortlessly beautiful. You wander around the store, hair tumbling to your shoulders from the messy bun atop your head, looking as though you’d just stepped out of bed yet gorgeous enough to put any model to shame. Chuuya doesn’t get how other people don’t notice, how they don’t writhe and die from sheer envy of your being. It fills him with rage when your boss berates you, when your coworkers leave you the hardest tasks, how you’re forced to work holidays and late hours to pick up their slack. It makes him want to murder them, for daring to make your life more difficult than it is. Because it is difficult. You have no parents, and a history of priors from being shunted through a series of fosters. Chuuya knows, because he’s found out everything about you, right down to the day you were born. The man who abused you when you were thirteen lies at the bottom of the river, feet encased in cement; the woman who forced you to spend a night out in her yard as punishment for some childish mistake had her home burned down. Chuuya’s been debating whether or not to go after your old case workers, but he’s been holding off because if he murders your coworkers, the police will focus on you as the central link to all the crimes.
Some part of him hates himself for these thoughts. He’s never liked killing; unlike Dazai’s lack of regard for human life, Chuuya always tried to avoid killing people if he could help it. It was messy and inconvenient and more trouble than it was worth. Violence was fine, but dead bodies brought too much attention. Besides, someone with a broken leg could learn from their mistakes, and Chuuya was all for second chances.
But not for the people who messed with you.
You were special. You were his. Chuuya’s own little angel, tainted and yet pure.
And so he watches you from the shadows, from around corners and darkened doors, waiting for the day he will make you his.
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octuscle · 4 months
Note
hey support, I need some help. So I work as a waiter at a restaurant and we recently got bought out by one of these giant chains. They’re very big on this whole “Australian theme” and already started redecorating and stuff. They were at least nice enough to not fire the staff so we all still have jobs, but they keep saying that we need to get into the company’s mindset. And recently I’ve been noticing I’ve been calling my friends “mate” and my voice keeps cracking. Everyone else seems to be fine with it but I don’t like it ‘ere.
You're actually a waiter trained in top gastronomy. You don't know what bothers you more. The quaint and rustic new interior. Or your very casual dress code. You're no longer allowed to come freshly shaved. And your shirts must have at least the top two buttons undone. And the sleeves must be rolled up at least to the elbows. It looks really ridiculous with your thin arms. Anyway, you need the job. So put on a good face. And greet your next guests.
"Welcome ta the grill downundah. I'm christian 'n i'm yah waider fawr tonight. Can i get ya somethin' ta drink already?" You almost have to bite your tongue. Did you really just say that? Your guests look at each other and start to laugh. "Wonderful, so authentic!" says the woman to her companion.
The evening is hell. At the beginning, you try to speak sensibly. But especially with your colleagues, you speak in a language that sounds more like a dock worker than a waiter. In fact, the tips that evening are not bad at all. And the crocodile fillet served after work is actually quite tasty.
The next morning you have the breakfast shift. Getting up early has never been a problem for you. You do a few push-ups to get your circulation going, spread two slices of bread with Vegemite, drink your filter coffee, get on your bike and set off. You like the morning shift. The air is fresh. And you like setting up the tables on the terrace. At least it's physical work for once. Not that the 20,000 steps you take a day aren't strenuous enough. But carrying the tables also exercises your upper body. And as long as the store is still closed, you can do it bare-chested. You love making your pecs dance. And you like the smell of fresh male sweat. And most of your customers love that too.
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"Has anyone ever told you that you look a bit like one of the Hemsworth brothers?" the hot guest flirts with you. He looks like a model himself. You smile your $5,000 smile and say "Hey, I'm Liam's hotder cousin, ya bastahrd! Too right, mate." He smiles back at you and asks what you're doing after work today.
You love this damn job here. Working in this restaurant won't make you homesick for Sidney. Just real honest Australian mates working here. You go through the fire together. No matter how awful your guests can be, you're always in a good mood. Because you know that at the end of a hard day's work, there's at least one good shag in the staff toilet.
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And if things go really well, you and your mates play a bit of football in the park afterwards. None of that sissy American stuff. Australian football. Sport for real men. The kind that only exists down under.
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dist0rt1on · 1 year
Text
SAMPO KOSKI: FOOL'S DISCOVERY
Synopsis: How you helped a fool realize his own feelings.
> Pairings: Sampo Koski x Gn!Reader
> Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst and Hurt-Comfort???
> Contents: Sampo being a part of The Masked Fools, backstory of your relationship with him, confessions, mostly ooc i guess? No proofread btw im sleepy
> Words: 3.8k
> A/N: Sorry if it's not rlly accurate to Sampo i just have a lot of 'what ifs' with him and this got birthed ig
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Sampo Koski is everyone's friend. A charismatic, humorous, cunning man. He's certainly a hot topic in all areas. Though, everyone around him views him as a skilled-yet-idiotic criminal. Or... maybe that's what Sampo himself wants them to think. After all, he tells himself every day that people like him are better suited to be shadowy comic reliefs anyway. Even so, no one knows how the gears behind his brain work.
Sampo Koski is a silver-tongued 'salesman' and an eloquent mercenary. He holds so much information that makes it so hard for people to not approach him for help. With the right price, he's willing to do all sorts of jobs for his lovely customers. Though, he isn't afraid of betraying his customer if he were to get paid on a higher price for it. You can't blame him, can you? Living in the underworld itself isn't easy. You gotta be willing to accept the opportunity for some extra cash if you want to survive.
Sampo Koski is a common enemy. Despite how much conflict Belobog's regions has over the years, most of the citizens in both overworld and underworld would agree that they share a similar distaste for the bi-haired man himself.
Lastly, Sampo Koski is a fool. A following fool who also thinks that the world is a joke. Just like a drama, or a soap opera that runs every day to be witnessed by the people in the audience's seats. No matter how endless the pain and suffering became, it could always be shoved away by laughter. Joy eliminates pain, after all. Laughter is a God-given right to avoid pain. Or so he heard.
Days would usually pass by just like night and day. Except you can't really see the 'day' on the underworld. Business after business through the years, he never thought of having to love someone. Not to mention someone even loving him in the first place. Though, that mindset shattered when he met you. Or specifically, after he spent so much time with you.
You two met in one of the underworld's desolate alleyways. You, who were mistaken as Sampo's anonymous customer, were trying to find some peace. Gazing upon the ceiling with wonder. 'How many more years are we supposed to endure all the suffering in the underworld before the fragmentum consumes us all?' You sigh sadly.
That thought was quickly replaced with a sense of caution after hearing faint footsteps coming your way. You turn your head in that direction, noticing a certain bi-haired man of your age with a sweet smile on his face and a waving hand.
"Hello, dearest customer! You must be the anonymous fella who asked for my services, I assume?" He approached you with his signature, charming smile. Which made you look up to him in response .
"Huh? You must've gotten the wrong person, buddy. Never called anyone for some services. Sorry..." You responded, albeit a bit confused about the salesman's arrival.
Just by your tone and expression alone, he could confirm that you were telling him the truth. Yet, he's not done with you yet. It's simple, he wants to lure you into becoming his customer too. He wants to make a profit in every corner. It's in his natural 'salesman' instincts, after all. But... there's just something about you that scratches his mind. Oh well, he can deal with it later.
"Sorry about that! The name's Sampo Koski. If you ever need someone to take care of things for you... Sampo Koski is the man for the job, who's at your service." He winks at you 'innocently'.
Though, you weren't oblivious to these types of people.
"Ah... so you're that type of businessman, arent you?" You raise an eyebrow, to which the man responded with a chuckle.
"As I said, All sorts of business are welcomed — as long as you've got the cash." He gives you a sly grin.
He saw you opening your mouth to respond to him in a brief second. Yet, before you could mutter something out, familiar marching noises filled the area from both sides of the alleyway.
...Damn Vagrants. They were surrounding the area with their weapons raised at you two. In the middle of the ambush, a masked man turned out to be the leader of said Vagrants.
By their similar physique and posture, Sampo could easily confirm that the leader is the same man who anonymously asked for his services in the first place.
Sampo himself knew that there was a possibility of this happening, but eh. He's a man who'll take any opportunity at any given moment. But he needs some entertainment too. He'd be lying if he told himself that he wasn't amused by this capture or murder attempt.
The masked man began to blabber as unprofessionally as one could blabber. Openly explaining their plans to the two while thinking that they'll be able to kill you two easily while also thinking that you play a part in the 'businesses' yourself.
By the leader's naivety, Sampo would listen intently and imagine a better scenario of said plan. But he chose to ignore the leader and decided to look in your direction.
Ah, you were trembling from head to toe. Fear and confusion wash your face as you try to get into a defensive state.
Living in the underworld for years, of course, you've learned basic self-defense to protect yourself from danger. But against more than one vagrant who has their weapons up and ready to knock the daylights over you at any moment? You cant- you won't stand a chance against them. Not without a weapon. Not without wielding an element.
'What the... hell's happening...?' You thought, panicking over the situation you accidentally got yourself into.
Sampo Koski is a man who'd rather flee before things get rougher than it already is. Unless he had no other choice. When people who targeted him managed to find or corner him, he'd usually try to charm them with his presence. Then using their confusion as the opening of his escape to flee the scene and leave the problems to the nearest bystanders. If there were any.
But this time, it was different. He didn't instantly come up with a plan to flee. Instead, he was focused on you. But why?
Because of your innocent look that was quickly washed away by your fear? No, that's not it... He thinks.
Because of your pitiful state? It could be? But... was that really the problem? Because...
He doesn't understand.
He can't wrap his head around this unfamiliar feeling.
Fleeing was always the best option for him. But for some reason, everything inside himself was telling him to not leave the poor bystander alone.
Why? He never had second thoughts before fleeing the scene before.
...
Maybe... Sampo Koski himself... had taken an interest in you. Yes, that must be it.
And helping you would certainly lead you to his debt. And Sampo wouldn't mind that. He'd be delighted.
"Hey- Were you even listening to me...!?" The leader shouted in an offended tone due to Sampo ignoring all his speech. But Sampo didn't seem to care this time around.
Instead, he wrapped an arm around your shoulder in a swift motion. Pulling you close as he whispers to your ear.
"Close your eyes and hold your breath. Trust me, okay?" He whispers in a soft tone.
Maybe because you were desperate to survive in this current situation that you did what he told you to do. Your body slowly tenses up as you close your eyes and hold your breath. He slowly removed his hold on you and pulls away as he pulls out some tricks up his sleeve.
Even if your vision was currently replaced by a dark void, it didn't stop you from hearing the chaos around you.
You could feel movements from Sampo's side as you could hear him throwing a few items into the ground.
"What the...? Is this... a bomb...!?"
"N-no... Its... they're smoke bombs...!"
"Gah-...! Everyone, stand... down...!"
You hear your attackers panic as they one by one lose their consciousness and fall to the ground.
Sampo approached the powerless leader who had lost his balance and gave him a shit-eating grin as he looked down at him.
"Wow, you really surprised the Sampo Koski with that ambush. As for the return, I decided to give you a surprise of my own~ How'dya like it?" He chuckles.
The leader gritted his teeth. "Y-You bastard... You'll pay... for this..." he threatens Sampo before losing consciousness completely.
Sampo then hurriedly rushed to your side and grabbed your trembling arm. "Let's go now, friend. You better keep up if you don't want to be left behind~"
Before you could even respond, he runs off from the alleyway with you.
Finally residing in a safe spot, Sampo carefully lets go of your arm. "Are you hurt, friend?" He asked as he sees you calm down.
"Sampo, was it? I... can't thank you enough for helping me escape from that. Even though I was just a passerby who got into your situation." You sigh.
"But... Is there anything I can repay you with...? I don't have a lot of cash on me, but when I do... I'll definitely pay you back though... I-I'm sorry..." You looked away. Hoping that the man in front of you won't be disappointed and decides to kill you after knowing you can't pay him back right at this moment.
Sampo chuckles as he looks at you in amusement. "Don't worry, you could still pay me back, ya'know?"
You set your eyes on him again, raising an eyebrow. "What...? But I told you I don't have much cash on me... Unless... gh...! You're not gonna do something to me, are you...!?" You point at the man in accusation. Sweating over the fact that he might do unimaginable things to you.
He quickly places a finger in front of your lips. "Ah, shushushushush... Don't paint me as a greedy and disrespectful businessman, friend. I, Sampo Koski, am still a gentleman with a heart. I was wondering if you could take up an offer instead." He pulled his gloved finger away from your lips.
"That is...?" You await his words as you see him extend his hand.
"Why don't we become business partners, hmm? You look like an interesting fella. I can't help but think that there's more to you than what meets the eye." He started to say.
"I'll deal with most of the things out there while you deal with other crucial things while hidden in the background. Ah, don't worry. We'll split the payment to our agreement. So how about it? Do you accept this offer?"
Any sane person in the underworld wouldn't trust his offer unless they were desperate. But usually, they'd harshly reject his offers. That's why... he was really surprised when you instantly placed your hands in his with no hesitation at all.
"Alright. You look like a fun guy to be with, and I bet you got a lot of surprises huh? I guess it won't hurt to become business partners with you." You smirk as if you weren't terrified a few minutes ago.
"You bet. I won't let you down, so you better do your best, partner." He smiles as you two shake hands in agreement.
That was the day you and the infamous Sampo Koski meet. Ever since that day, you did different kinds of jobs with him.
At first, the two of you were nothing but business partners. He informs you of a mission, and you help him from the shadows, split the pay, and part ways.
But the more you two started working together, the closer you two became. And now, even after the business itself was settled, you'll kill your boring ol' time to spend your day with him.
Like watching a fierce boxing match in the fight club while cheering for your favorite fighters.
"Huh... both of them are so tough! I'm still wondering how robots are qualified for a boxing match, but whatever. Beat him up, Mechanical Master!" You cheer for your favorite fighter.
You could hear Sampo laughing next to you. "In your dreams, partner. Greyback Whale's the much stronger one between them!"
"Buuut we gotta be real now, don't we? I'm a much better fighter than anyone from the fight club~ You've witnessed it yourself, yeah?" He winks with a sense of pride as you snorted in response.
"Yeah, yeah... I guess I gotta admit you're way faster and stronger than them, huh? How fierce and mighty of you, Mr. Sampo~ I might need an autograph from you one day." You playfully stick your tongue out as you tease him. Sampo responds with a playful smirk.
Or you'd spend the day with him by taking a stroll in the mines. Well... a little bit annoying when the two of you have a 50% chance of getting attacked by vagrants, fragmentum creatures, or even robots. But it's nice to back him up on a fight once in a while.
"Hey, partner! Wanna see how fast I could knock them out with these babies alone?" He cockily twirls his daggers as he focuses his eyes on the surrounding enemies.
"Hmm... sure. Knock them out in under 10 seconds, and ill fight alongside you if we have any business for the day." You challenged the man.
In a blink of an eye, you see his daggers getting thrown at the enemies. It was almost a blur. You looked in awe as you witness daggers flying as swiftly as the wind, knocking out enemies with their single touch.
The group of enemies didn't even last 5 seconds as those daggers finally return to the hands of their master. "3.5 seconds. Now, you were saying?"
"Hah, you never fail to surprise me... do you?"
You and Sampo became inseparable. You two were like puzzle pieces who complete each other.
Sampo is the strength and the brain. The active mercenary in his business who deals with all the fights and the talk.
Meanwhile you, you were the heart. The vigilant partner who usually tends to Sampo's wounds if he was unlucky enough to get them.
For a doctor, Natasha's treatments are of a much better quality. But Sampo couldn't help it. No matter how light or brutal the wounds were, he always ends up wanting to get treated in your care.
"Gah... good thing I patched you up just in time... You were on the blink of collapsing, you know...? Don't be so reckless with yourself!" You scold the man as you try to patch the smaller cuts on his arm.
"Should I just call Dr. Natasha to treat you...? I don't think I'm doing a good job on this..."
"No, no. You don't need to. You're doing a great job, okay? And sorry... I was a bit unlucky this time. But I promise I'll be more careful next time, haha." He reassured you with a weak smile.
It was a nice feeling though, Sampo thought. Even if you were scolding him plenty of times, he always notices your careful hands as you patched him up. Him knowing that you hoped your touch won't hurt Sampo more than he already is.
Even if Sampo has a quite friendly demeanor on him, he never lets his guard down. Even to the people he trusts. But there's one thing he noticed...
He started to let his guard down over the time when you two were alone. Relaxing his body to the fullest.
It felt weird at first, Sampo admits. But he quickly came to an acceptable conclusion.
Sampo Koski had developed a soft spot for you.
Now finally, the present. As of today, the blockade between the underworld and the overworld had been lifted by the help of the trailblazers from beneath the sky. It was a miracle, really. You almost couldn't believe it.
Due to Sampo's part in helping them as well, he gets a temporary pass to walk on the overworld's ground freely without any guards arresting him.
He would've used this opportunity to sneakily gain some extra cash, but he decided to go against that idea.
Not when you looked at him with those sparkling eyes. Telling him that you wanted to explore the place and the sceneries with him. And so he did.
But he never expected this one particular day.
The day you asked him to meet up with you somewhere in the overworld's administrative district.
You, holding out a cheap, single-flower bouquet for him only. Muttering multiple things he can't seem to catch. But from where this is going, he knew. By his body language that told you that he was caught off-guard, he knew what's gonna happen next.
You, looking deep into his eyes, as you successfully have the courage to tell him how you feel towards him
"I love you, Sampo Koski. I really do."
There you stood, red-faced as you closed your eyes shut. Getting ready to return some comebacks of your own when he gives you a flurry of his teases.
...
What you expected didn't come.
You slowly opened your eyes to a sight you never thought you would see one day.
The Sampo Koski you know... was also standing there red-faced. But... his eyes widened, and tears slowly fall to his cheeks.
Sampo Koski is a man who knows what love is, but had yet to experience it. Well, maybe he did. But after years of getting disliked or even despised by many people in the country he resides in, even if he were to blame for that, he began to gradually forget what 'love' or 'warmth' means to him.
But today, you had easily told him the specific word and answer to his own conflicted feelings about you.
'I love you, Sampo Koski.'
'Love.'
...
"H-Hey... not that I doubt it or anything, but... Do I... even deserve this kinda thing...?" He tries to maintain his playful tone, but his cracked voice quickly ruined it in an instant.
Sampo Koski is a man who usually denies his negative feelings. Every time he gets sad, hurt, angry, or many other things, he always brushes it away and laughs it off as if it was a laughing matter, to begin with. Unconsciously straying him from his understanding of his own emotions.
No, his usual playful, cunning, charismatic attitude isn't a facade or some sort. It's just Sampo being Sampo. It's just that his mindset of joy diluting all sorrow was making him unconsciously bottle up all that pain.
He always knew that the universe is merciless, but he prefers choosing the path of laughing it off. It was the guidance he got, after all. But was it because of amusement or denial? Who knows...
He is a masked fool, after all.
But your sudden confession had shattered that bottle of his. Many of his mixed emotions were scattered in his mind. Starting to swirl around his surroundings. He was getting overwhelmed.
'Why? Im an awful man. I don't deserve your love. Your kindness.'
'You deserve better.'
'So why me?'
'Why me?'
...
"Of course, you deserve this. You deserve everything, honestly. Thanks to you, I've never been so happy in my entire life. And... I know we spend our days together, but I want to share a much closer bond with you. Because... I've never loved someone this much before. You deserve my love, Sampo. And you'll always do." Your lips curved up into a sweet smile as Sampo looks at you in shock.
Sampo Koski is jealous of you. Envious that you had managed to tell or identify your feelings he's been struggling with so easily.
But you looked so beautiful at that moment. Your genuine, kind smile and your flowing hair matching the rhythm of the wind. The sun's warm light favors you and your beautiful presence alone.
You then lowered the arm that was holding the bouquet. "But, it's okay. I get it if you're not ready yet. Whatever the outcome, ill accept it. Just don't let it ruin our friendship, okay? I'll be waiting for your answer. Once you're ready, okay?" You turn around, getting ready to leave so you could give him some space.
...
"Don't you fucking dare..."
"Huh?" Before you could turn around to see him again, you felt arms wrapping around your waist from behind you. Holding you tight as if you were about to disappear from his very life.
"Don't you dare leave me here... especially after saying that..." he begs in a soft tone.
...
Sampo rests his head on your shoulder. "...I love you too. Even if things were hell down there, hoping to see you every time I woke up in the morning... gave me a reason to keep going. No matter how hard things became, you never left my side... And... I'm so grateful for all that... You're so... precious... to me..."
Sampo finally gets it. The differences in his feelings before you came into his life, and after.
Once, the man wandered the world on his own. With both worlds having a distaste in him while laughing in a sense he used to call 'joy'. Never letting his guard down on every corner, even on his own 'home'.
But when you came into his pitiful life, he started laughing with you. Not in a sense of that so-called joy he once believed could wash away all pain and suffering, but in a sense of comfort and warmth. You had sneaked your way into his heart and made it your home. His home.
He twirled your body around to face him. Tears were still in his eyes as he sniffles on his snot. But still, a big smile was present on his face.
"Hah... Thank you, my dear... Thank you for everything... Mhm... So, are we officially together now...?" He looks at you with that usual goofy grin.
"Of course! Ah... I love you so much...!" You were also trembling with joy as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Looking up to him with the same sense of affection.
"Too bad." He smirks as he leans closer to your ear. "You might say that you love me. But I love you more, my love." He whispers.
Sampo Koski is a man who wants to be loved, and to love back. And with the opportunity you gave him, he'll never waste his chance. He hasn't told it directly to your face, but he vows to protect your life, your heart, everything.
"*sniff* You know... I would kiss you right now, but... I'd rather have our first kiss at a more... romantic moment." He gently presses his lips to your forehead as you giggle in response.
"Saving that for our first date, huh... Pretty boy?" Your cheeks started to warm up more.
"Maybe, maybe not... Who knows?" He coos as he carefully strokes your hair. Kissing your cheek as you hum softly.
Maybe... he could send his final regards to the guys and girls at the tavern to run away with you, one day. He hopes.
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missingkittyfan · 2 years
Text
YANDERE BARISTA OC X GN READER
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warnings: yandere themes, mention of death (the loss of a family member), mentions of depressive episodes, obsessive thoughts, unhealthy mindset
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Aaron let out a quiet sigh as he prepared the coffee for the customer, tiredly looking at the glass window - it's been a stressful day so far since he's been dealing with grouchy, unreasonable customers. Getting complaints about their drink not being done right even though he does it by order, making sure the ingredients are correct. He wished this shift could be over already, not really wanting to do anything else for the entire day. A lot of things were on his mind and he didn't know how to deal with this crippling loneliness ever since his mother had unfortunately passed away. Her death being for some reason unknown, no one really know what had happened to her exactly.
He walked over to the counter before setting down the warm cup of coffee down, glancing at the person and giving them a polite yet slightly strained smile. "Here you go, that will be $3.65." He stated, awaiting for their payment although the customer seemed to be- hesitant..? Aaron looked away for a moment as the two stood in silence. Finally, the male let out a nervous laugh as he scratches the side of his cheek. "Oh- err.. well, I- only have two bucks so.. maybe I can just give it to you now and next time give you the rest?" He replied, smiling awkwardly.
Aaron however wasn't amused, his smile twitching a bit but still tried to kept his composure.
"Ah- I'm sorry sir but that isn't.. allowed. You're supposed to pay full price now." he said, "I can just discard of the coffee and you can come back later and-" The man cuts him off by abruptly grabbing the cup, spilling some drops of coffee onto the counter. "Great! I'll see you tomorrow then. I promise to pay you later." With that the man exited the building leaving aaron with a baffled expression. He gritted his teeth, clenching his fist as he watched him leave. He was so close from just busting out of here and strangle him - dealing with parasitic people like him infuriates him. He hated his time being wasted.
He sighed, he shouldn't feel like this. Just one more hour and he'll be free to go! It's not like everyday this doesn't happen.
Aaron rested his arm onto the counter, almost hoping one person doesn't walk into here.
That was until his eyes lingered towards someone.
And that someone in question was you.
Of course usually he wouldn't focus on someone's appearance especially since he didn't quite have the luxury to focus on pursuing a relationship. He didn't really bother trying to. he thought himself as a unlovable person, likely to die alone and never having to live the life that he truly wanted. Not really having a goal and rather went with the ride.
It was sad, really - but he tried not fuss himself too much about it.
He continued thinking about what should he do besides laying onto the bed, feeling hopeless and miserable most of the time. The brown haired male watched you entering inside the café before giving him a warm.. smile.
A smile that he swore he felt his cheeks reddening up but brushed it aside and kept it professional as he greets you. "Hey, welcome! Is there anything I can get you on this fine afternoon?" He asked as you walked towards his direction, "Thank you and yes! I'm on my break so I would just like a iced latte, not really looking forward into eating something at the moment. Caffeine is all I need," you answered, laughing. "It's a slow tiring day don't you think? My dear co-worker has been kind of salty, giving me the cold shoulder. Some days aren't your day I guess!" You realized you were rambling, quickly becoming silent for a second. "Sorry- I've came here for a iced coffee not small talk .. I shouldn't put my problems on a hardworking barista like yourself, you seem tired and stressed even. Are you- okay?" You frowned, noticing the dark circles underneath his eyes. He looked like he hasn't been getting enough proper rest.
His eyes widen a bit, snapped out of his thoughts to realize your concern for him before shooting you a smile. "Ah- no no! it's fine, i'm fine.. I appreciate your concern. It's not often we get people like you so it's really.. refreshing. Thank you." he said, "I'll be on it now, don't wanna waste your time." He grabbed a plastic cup - preparing your drink as you patiently wait. You stared at the busy traffic in silence, watching few people on the sidewalk having a phone conversation.
He glanced at you for a moment, admiring your features. His lips curled into a slight smile, you were so sweet and graceful with your words and actions. Your charm beginning to draw him in, and yet- he didn't want to admit it nor deny.. but he knew for certain he was intrigued and wanted to know more about you. Wanted to know what's your name, your interests and dislikes.. and maybe more. "So, uh.. feel free to not answer but how come I've never seen you before? You look like a new face in town," he chuckled before muttering to himself. "A pretty one at that.."
You looked at him before a smile formed onto your lips once again, "Oh! Yeah- I've actually moved here a week ago believe it or not. It wasn't long before they had recommended this place that serves good coffee. The atmospheres looks so nice! I really love the aesthetic so I'm assuming they must be right after all." You replied, almost going on a tangent.
God your voice was soothingly pleasing to listen to, he could just hear you talk endlessly without getting tired of hearing it. You had such a way with words, he tried not to urge himself into trying to hear more from you after all you were just a customer. It would seemed weird if he had try getting more information as possible.. right? He wasn't that kind of person, if he wanted so bad to get to know you better he could actually just.. ask you if he can spend some time with you and not be creepy about it.. He didn't want to come off too strong already but.. this feeling, it was overwhelming and he couldn't get enough. He wanted more.
He wanted you. It was complicated and too much for him to take in.. is this what love actually feels like? The feeling of wanting to feel your embrace, your scent, and hearing his name flow off your tongue. If so, this felt amazing to him.
Aaron had finished making the iced latte, setting the cold drink down onto the counter. "That will be $4.65." He said before you nodded in response, taking out your wallet and placing the exact amount. He grabbed it from you and puts the cash into the cash register. "Thank you, I hope you enjoy your drink and have a wonderful day!" He smiled.
"You too!" You practically yelled, leaving the place as you took a sip of your coffee.
He placed his hand onto his cheek, watching you walk away out of view before coming into a realization. His smile slowly turned into a melancholic frown. "Ah- I haven't.. asked for their name." He sighed, "shit- why do I have to mess things up? I loss my chance.. what if they never come back again?" He looked down at the counter, staring into the reflection of himself. "I hope that's not the case.. I want to get to know them. I need to learn much more about them.." He said to himself. Aaron had himself found a new fixation, a goal.
And that goal was to make you fall over heels for him as much as he did for you - to make you his and him yours.
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chaoticunicornsworld · 8 months
Text
about Neil Newbon fandom
My native language is not English so if you find grammar error please forgive me.
So here is the thing about Neil Newbon. He is a real person in a real world with a real life. And he works as an actor/artist. For money. Also, I can imagine he is working for fun, but first, for money. His work contains impersonations of fictional character's voices and movements. And also it contains keeping touch with fans. When he streams he is not your friend or boyfriend and he is not an object, he is working. You don’t know shit about him, you just collect the crumbs of his public persona. And as somebody who works in customer service i can tell, it can be different from the real person. I can be flirtatious if it serves the cause, even if I don’t exactly like the people in front of me. I can smile, I can be kind and helpful, I can listen, I can make them seen. And the next moment I can do the same with the next customer. And It's not a lie it’s not manipulating, I just use my customer service persona. And sometimes the stories what i hear can touch me. It is a tiring mental work, it can be overwhelming sometimes as well. So when you buy his prints or cameos, you don’t buy him, or his friendship. You just buy a piece of art, and you can think you buy to be seen for a moment. But if you have to buy to be seen by someone, better find a counselor or a therapist as he always suggests in those videos. If you play BG3, and romance Astarion, there is a scene where he tells you his favorite lines, and at some point he tells you „I love you”. And if you choose „it is to soon” he tells you it can be true if only for this night. That’s what you get from Neil, his attention for that moment. If you watch his streams you can notice people pay to write messages that can be mentioned by him. That’s working for money. Even, if he enjoy it. And I’m not against supporting his work, but please don’t use him as a therapist, or sex object. 
Also about the thirst. I’m a fully functioning woman, so I’m not denying that he is attractive and sexy, and the edits on tiktok about him can be really dirty. I feel ashamed when I see them even if they can affect me. Again, those pictures and videos are not him, those are his roles. Even if they are from interviews, or from public events. Those are the characters played by Neil. (And yes, there can be a character for Neil Newbon as a public person.) Not him. Please try to contain yourself, don’t embarrass yourself and don't objectify him, or anyone else. It’s humiliating. You can bring back the energy to your real life with your real partner, it could make your relationship better. Be aware, what you see isn't Neil, it is his art. How would you feel if somebody used a piece of art from you to look at you as a sex object? How would your partner feel about it? What do you think, how his wife feels about it? Or how will his daughter feel when she sees them?
And last. If you claim you “Love him” and then feel happy about that made up scenario as he is single, you don’t know about love at all. First of all, how could you love somebody you don’t know? What do you love about him? I can tell you, you love your imaginations about him. And it’s a form of avoiding real relationships when you love fictional and/or unavailable persons. You don’t have to face real emotions, if you chose that path. But it is not real. It’s a maladaptive coping mechanism. But If we accept theoretically that you “Love him”, and you tell you are happy because his marriage ended and he is single, that also isn’t love. It’s more like possessing. (And I can’t even tell if it’s true or just made up by some twisted mind.) Do you really think love means being happy for someone being unhappy? Do you really think if he is single then a person like you, with your mindset can be a real pair for him? Keep your dignity please, and let the real person keep his boundaries.
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mutt-sys · 1 month
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Have you, perchance, considered regressed Alpha? Reliant on Omega, clinging to his side because he's the only ghoul that makes him feel safe?
Oh I love this idea, have baby Alpha with Cg Omega and mentions of other ghouls!!
Cw/tw? Baby Alpha (0-2), mentions of bottle feeding, the nickname "daddy" used in a nonsexual way!
Alpha,when he does regress, he's usually very small with a baby-like mindset. Omega always notices before Alpha does, the way he stands and talks is a tell tale sign that he's slipping, which usually shoves Omega into a caregiver mindset.
When he does regress he usually can't walk, so Omega carries him everywhere with little effort. Alpha loves it and is always hanging onto him in some sort of way, not that Omega minds at all since he loves to carry his baby everywhere with him.
Alpha has a onesie that has little campfires all around it, Omega got it for him as a gift and Alpha adores it. He has others to wear but this one is special to him, since Omega got it for him with his own money.
Alpha usually doesn't like to be around others when he's small but sometimes he'll let Mist or Ifrit around him if Omega is busy, Mist always loves babysitting the small flame and is constantly playing games and sneaking snacks to him when Ifrit isn't looking.
If Mist and Ifrit are busy Omega will take Alpha with him to his office where he'll sit and play with toys and blocks while Omega works, there's a designated play area for any little who wants to hang out with him while working.
Sometimes Alpha will get fussy and cranky and Omega will have to calm him down and rock him in place to soothe him. "Daddy's here, little flame. I got you, we'll watch a movie after I'm finished working." And that calms him right down, Omega loves how well behaved he is sometimes.
Omega loves to spoil Alpha a lot, usually buying toys or little gear for the small ghoul. His most recent item was a custom bottle that Omega had ordered, he won't use any other when feeding but Omega doesn't mind at all.
On the topic of feeding, Alpha gets cranky if he's hungry and tends to throw a fit if he wants something. Omega will have him cradled in his arms and stay there with the bottle until the fire ghoul is finished, always making sure to burp him afterwards so he doesn't get an upset tummy that night.
When it's time for bed the little one is always changed into a soft onesie with his favorite stuffed animal and a pacifier, cuddling away on Omega's chest until the two of them fall fast asleep wrapped in each other's arms.
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Can you tell he's my favorite? Hope you enjoyed<3
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yandere dorian hcs please 😳
I will give you your steroid Santa Clause! But I’m making it sad. After the fight with Retsu, I felt so bad for him. I wanted to hug him.
Spoilers!!
Yandere Baki Head Canons
Kaioh Dorian edition
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Kaioh Dorian
You worked at a pastel maid cafe and he was a foreign customer that tipped you more than any other customer. Though at times you felt his eyes linger on your form longer than what was comfortable but his big tips made up for it
As the days turned to weeks, you learned his name was Dorian. He was overly nice to you and sometimes he’d bring you candies. To you, it seemed like he was trying to heal his inner child so you never corrected his behavior. The giant man somewhat reminded you of one
He’d call you “dolly” all the time due to your pastel maid uniform and you let him. It was a cute innocent nickname. Sometimes Dorian would gift you little porcelain dolls that looked eerily similar to you, but you thought they were cute. A part of you wondered how he knew you collected dolls, but perhaps it’s the way you presented yourself?
One time he stayed near closing time so you sat with him and chatted a bit. He was an American and he was 65. He’s never been married and he used to practice Chinese Kenpo. He was interesting
That was until you saw the news and realized he was an escaped convict. He killed a lot of people… you began to limit your time around Dorian and he noticed. He didn’t like it one bit
As you sleep at night, you feel the bed shift. You try to scream but a large hand is covering you mouth. You realize Dorian had broken into your house. How did he know where you lived?
Dorian tells you he’s been keeping an eye on you for awhile now and he doesn’t want you to hate him. That you’re his dolly and he’ll always treat you well.
He doesn’t do anything sexual to you at all, he just lays beside you and falls asleep with you in his arms. You don’t sleep a wink because you’re terrified but Dorian doesn’t harm you. He cares for you in his own way
You don’t see him for awhile after that, and you kind of feel sad about it. That’s when you find out through your coworkers that Dorian was now mentally handicapped after a fight with Kaioh Retsu
You go to see him and you’re surprised he recognizes you. Dorian runs over to you and calls you dolly still. He’s so thrilled to see you but now his mind is reduced to that of a child’s. It breaks your heart and you hug him. You cry as he hugs you back
Dorian tells you how his dad never let him have much candy and how abusive his father was with while he’s in this new mindset. You take it upon yourself to befriend him again
You visit Dorian everyday and bring him lots of candy. You sit with him in the psyche ward. Sometimes you go on walks with each other
You bring him a doll and he’s so happy. You two play together a lot, the way kids would. Dorian always looks forward to your visits
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