#im not sure if i really hate myself so much as i just dont especially care. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starvi-boi · 1 month

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yall asked me how i did it so here we go:

first of all, if you dont struggle with an ed or are in recovery than dont interact or read this. i am pro recovery for everyone except myself. stay safe everyone!!

my situation:

im 167 cm tall

i started at 67.7kgs and now im 43kgs, (bmi 24.3 -> 15.4)

i live with my parents and they after two months noticed and now they watch what i eat

it took me around 5 months but during 2 of them i was just maintaining because of miscalculations and binges

1) meals:

i do omads, its really effective, keep it around 350 - 900 cals a day, i used to fast for few days every now and then but omads work wonders

heres how my week looks:

mon: 400-700

tue: 400-800

wen: 400-600

thu: 350-650

fri: 400-800

sat: 900-1200

sun: 850-1250

omading dinner works quite well and so does omading breakfast, but i prefer dinners, i can keep my morning skinny all day and i dont have to walk outside being bloated af

2) exercise:

i do around 5 hours climbing a week, after 3 months i added a 20 minute workout every day that i dont climb, also sometimes i spent whole days climbing on rocks outside

i also have 2 hours of pe a week

i try to get at least 5k steps, mostly i get around 6k a day

im not a try hard in exercise, sometimes i go inline skating but its for fun

i dont distract burnt cals from the days total. i dont.

3) pürging:

i used to pürge anything that was over 500 cals, but it was useless, dont do it, its not helping, i did this only the first 2 months because of guilt

4) binging:

before i began eating less, i used to binge like 4 times a week (around 4k cals), it used to be my coping mechanism

at first i didnt binge at all, i didnt eat because of guilt, i hated food

lately ive been binging on low-cal stuff which is bad, but at least its not as high cal (i actually crave low-cal things), but now i tell myself this: 'enjoy the emptiness, nothing can fill in the void inside, especially not food' and it has helped a lot

but im not rlly sure what to do about it- it just sometimes happens

5) weight ins:

i do them everyday in the evening before dinner, i dont drink water during the day (dont do this, i forget to drink and am used to that, stay hydrated), which makes me not want to eat because id gain the food and water weight, if i knew i was having two meals id weight in in the morning

6) metab days:

since i live with my parents who now check on me, i do them on weekends - both days, i mostly binge on those days (sometimes even 3k cals) lol

i aim for 900-1100 cals on them because on other days i try to restrict as much as possible and my bmr is around 1200

even though they seem scary, theyre very much needed!!

7) rituals:

i dont snack, only gum - it works amazing (i go through like 30 a day :'))

i always plan my cals for the day in the morning and always add in the food before eating it

i spend a lot of time on edblr and edtwt and edtt, motivating

i always have an emergency snack on me and water, im allowed to eat it if im too dizzy or too weak

8) my tips:

never eat alone. never.

eat only at the table - it makes it really annoying to sit there while eating which makes me not wanna eat

romanticize hunger (not the best but ykyk), be a good ana, be pure, be pretty

wear layers, youre gonna be freezing all the time

vaping/smoking can help if youre already into it, dont start with it just because i said it might work

be patient.

skip any meal you can, fake eating, empty packages, hiding food in clothes, taking in to your room, dirty plates, sitting and staring at an empty cup licking the clean spoon over and over as if the cup was full so you seem like youre eating... anything

dont obsess over food, obsess over being skinny and over fasting!!

dont eat more than 2 meals a day

prepare your own food so you can calculate it right

high volume low cal stuff and high protein stuff are your new best friends (lettuce, peppers, cucumbers, pickles, rice cakes, tomatoes, melons, coldfish, chicken breasts, cottage cheese)

warm water fills you up, so does coffee and tea

be nice to yourself, reward yourself when you do good, make it a game - points for being good -> rewards you can buy with your points, when you mess up you have to extract few points

take it slow, one day at a time or one week at a time, you have plenty of time, messing up is okay (one binge doesnt make you fat just as one fast doesnt make you skinny, but doing it repeatedly will)

if youre getting weak -> increase your cals, its better to get your energy back but maintain for few weeks than it is to be weak and passing out

9) do what works for you

i cant do longer fasts because of my family, just because this worked for me doesnt mean its gonna work for you, find what you can do and stick with it

i really suck at portion control so i omad, its way easier for me to not eat than to eat small amounts through out the day

thats it for now!! thanks for reading, if i think of something more ill write it down!!

#i will be a skeleton #i will be weightless #i will reach my ugw #edmeme #i hate calories #starv3 #unhealthy weight loss #lose weight fast #anatips #ana #tw ana trigger #tw ana diary #ana advice #ana tips #unhealthy diet

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24kmar · 4 days

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘 (A. Donaldson)

Part 2 of Thigh to Thigh

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Art Donaldson x fem! Reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 18+ MDNI, smut, angst, language, fluff, love confession, happy ending 🩷

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: The aftermath of the argument with tashi.

𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈

𝑰 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒚 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒀𝒐𝒖, 𝒀𝒐𝒖

The argument you had with tashi has been replaying in your mind. The same question running in circles in your head. "Me or art?". And to add insult to injury, art heard all of it. Was he asking the same question? Him or tashi?

You had been avoiding both of them. Being succesful uptil now. While finishing an english essay you heard a knock at your door. It couldnt have been your roomate. She was at a lecture right now. Getting up and answering the door to your dorm, you were met with art.

Art-" you gasp being cut of as he pushed his way past you, into your dorm. "We need to talk" he breathes out, sitting on your bed. "About what?" You play dumb, crossing your arms nervously. "You know what" art looks at you.

Look y/n, im not asking you to pick me" he rushes the words out like hes been holding them in for ages. Chewing on your lip, you hug yourself. I just need you to know how much you mean to me," he sighs, tears brimming at his waterline. Which causes tears to brim in yours too. "even if we stay friends or dont." "you mean so so much to me." He cries, tears falling down his face. Standing up, he cups your face "I would destroy myself for you" "Art-" "Listen to me-" Art you should leave"

Silence. Pure fucking silence.

Nodding, he opens the door and speaks up before walking out "i love you". That makes you freeze completely, but not without tears rolling down your face.

Flinching as you hear the door shut, you just stand there. Standing there hugging yourself, while sobbing.

𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈𝐈

𝑰 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝑰 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏

Its been two days since you last spoke with art. Those two days have been miserable. Downright depressing. You missed him so much. Knowing you hurt such a good person made you hate yourself. Especially hurting someone cause they loved you. Why did you tell him to leave? You didnt want him to leave. You needed him to stay, now more than ever.

You've just been bedrotting, barely eating, missing classes, the whole nine yards. Today, you decided to go to class. Not wanting to mess up your grades. The whole day was draining, dreadful even. Everything reminded you of art. You decided to blow off some steam. Going to play some late night tennis. You were just lazily smacking around the tennis ball.

Thats when you heard footsteps. Turning around, you saw art. With a heavy heart and sweaty palms, you greeted him. "Hi" you said nervously. "Hi" he replied, hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. "Can we talk?" You asked "Sure" he nodded softly "my dorm or yours?"

His dorm was closer, you didnt want the walk to be long. Far too awkward. The walk was silent, but not awkward silent, calm silent. Like nothing had happend at all.

Now at his dorm. You both sat on his bed. "Im so sorry art" you spoke, tears rushing to your waterline, guilty look in your eyes. Tearing up, art spoke "y/n-"

"I never meant to hurt you-"

"Y/n-" "

"I just didnt kmow what to do-"

Pulling you in to a hug, cutting you off, he spoke "Its okay, y/n, really i understand. It was a tough situation" he sighed, rubbing your back. "You mean so much to me art" you huff out into his neck "i love you" you admit nervously, pulling away from him to look at his face. Searching for emotion. Thats when leaned in and kissed you.

𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈𝐈𝐈

𝑰𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖

"I- i love you" art whimpers, cock drilling in and out of you "i love you- soso much."

"Hgh- i love you too. So much" you moan , pulling his hair, legs wraped around his waist as he thrusts into you. Soft yet powerful thrusts, full of love, and adoration.

Art trails a hand down your body to rub your clit. Making your back arch and eyes screw shut, letting out a high pitch moan. It was so much at once, the nips at your neck, the fast yet delicate circles around your clit, the thrusts, the love.

"I need you" he gasps "You have me" you reply, confused.

No, like i need you to-" he cuts himself off with a moan "i need you like you're oxygen" this makes your heart swell and eyes fill with tears. cupping his face, you rest your forhead against his "your mine and im yours, always" you kiss him. And like that you cum together in unison, looking into eachothers eyes, forhead to forhead.

𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐕𝐈

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰'𝒅 𝒈𝒐 𝒂 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖

Chest to chest, face to face. You lay in silence, taking in the moment. When art breaks the silence.

" You know i meant every word, right?"

With the confused furrow of you brows he continues "id destroy myself for you" he pauses to interlock your fingers "im in love with you y/n" he admits.

"Im in love with you too art." You admit smiling "i pick you".

Now its his turn to be confused, "what?" He asks confused.

"If its between you or tashi, i pick you art"

With that, you both smile lovingly at eachother

He was family. He would kill for you.

#Spotify #art donaldson #art donaldson x reader #art donaldson smut #challengers #challengers movie #challengers x reader #challengers smut #🪞𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬 🎀#💭𝐒𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐅𝐢𝐜𝐬💭

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oneshlut · 6 months

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Hello!!!! Love your writing!!!! May i request a platonic Sun and Moon (or eclipse its up to you!) With a favorite child reader? I just think that would be adorable!!!

P.s. i LOVE your writing!!!! And your headcanons!!! Dont overwork yourself!!!! Keep being cool/pos!!!!!!!!

A/N: UGHHH you guys are SO SWEET!!! pls stop im gonna IMPLODE /j tyty for all the kind words, also i really needed some1 to tell me not to overwork myself lmaoao, ive been getting so many requests lately.. promise i'll get to all of y'all! OHOH AND I LOVE WRITING FOR THESE THREE! and child readers for them, especially!

(since im feeling extra silly i'll give you a fanfic recommendation: New Consciousness! i think it can be found on tumblr too.. its a yandere sun/moon fic&child reader, one of my favs and greatest inspo!)

Your Best Friend (Sun/Moon/Eclipse & Child!Reader) [Headcanons]

Rules For Requesting

Characters I Will Write For

Masterlist

Summary: General meeting, friendship, and attachment headcanons for The Daycare Attendant with a child reader.

Extra Info: Sun and Moon share bodies, just like in the game. If I mention them talking to each other, they're talking with their shared consciousness.

Sun:

Sun can usually tell when someone new joins the daycare. If he doesn't hear the obvious audio clue of the ballpit, he'll have a sensor that will go off so that he's notified. Every time Sun gets a notification, you can almost see his built-in smile grow wider. A new friend!

As a child new to the Pizzaplex, entering the daycare for the first time was terrifying. I don't think the current horrible reputation on the Fazbear company helped one bit. The animatronics were definitely scary, you didn't need to know that there was a chance you could go missing because of them.

But the daycare had attendants, so that calmed your nerves. Slightly. Until you realized, they too were animatronics. The statue in the entrance of the daycare was massive compared to you. You suddenly wished that you hadn't accepted that birthday invitation.

Sun immediately goes in to meet you! He's practically radiating happiness onto you, skipping to where you were. He's definitely very intense when first meeting you, waving to you like a maniac. You eventually find yourself getting used to his upbeat energy, agreeing to do most activities with him that he brings up. This includes making macaroni art, crudely put-together paper pals, and a few drawings that he's sure to hang up in his room afterwards.

The security officers seem to catch on over the next few weeks how Sun has grown attached to one child. It pretty much went against his code, as he was supposed to be keeping a watchful eye over all the kids, not just one. But the officers at Freddy's get paid minimum wage, so they don't really care about the two of you unless they've got a lawsuit on their hands.

If you were ever feeling down, he'd immediately try to cheer you up. He will spend the entire day with you if he needs to! He may be intense, clingy, and won't let you out of his sight for a mere 2 seconds, but he's got good intentions. Sun hates seing children sad, and the one thing he knew how to do best was cheer them up. Whether this be silly faces, drawings, or hide n' seek, he always had something new to distract you from the little raincloud utop your head. However, Sun knows he can be a bit chaotic at times. If you want him to, he'll give you space. Sometimes, kids just need calm, and that was definitely not his strong suit.

Sun tries not to have "favorite" children, but he couldn't deny he was growing a bit attached. You were enjoying his company anyway, so why should he have to stop? You seemed much less nervous around him aswell, so as far as he knew, he was doing the right thing. A new term had suddenly seemed to form in his memory bank: "best friend".

Moon:

Now, Moon definitely caught you off guard. You had grown so used to Sun's warm, exatatic nature, that when the atmosphere to the daycare had a sudden chill, yet calming feel to it, you immediately thought something was wrong.

Given this, you met Moon when, apparently, Sun was going under.. technical support of some kind. You didn't know the full extent to the details, but what you did know was that Sun was gone, and in replacement, Moon took over both the day and night shifts. You watched as the kids in the daycare scrambled around, some trying to hide, and some just trying to get all their energy out before Moon came out for the night shift. You had intended to just stay away from him in a random corner, since most kids seemed afraid of him, but with the "night" shift coming up, you really had no way to avoid him.

Moon wasn't in the mood for hide n' seek. Not like Sun usually was. He recognized that he had a job to do, so if anything, he'd get it done. He did enjoy working for kids--it was in his code, after all--but this didn't distract him from his work. As most children were, you were scared of him at first. Moon normally just forced the kid to go to bed, either with a Moondrop candy, or tame threats like time-out. But you seemed.. different. He didn't want to be seen as mean, not to you. Instead, he tried to gain your trust by telling you that he was friends with Sun, assuming you were more favorable towards Sun.. again, as most kids were. Surprisingly, he was right to assume.

You, on the other hand, were thrown completely off guard. For the most part, you had thought Moon was this mean, strict, and harsh version of Sun--as you've heard from other children. But instead, you found him to be much more calming, if anything. Maybe the kids just hated having to tone down their energy, that when someone forced them to, they grew naturally afraid of them. That was your reasoning, anyway.

Unlike Sun, Moon is more of a "denier" than anything. He had things to do, and didn't need things getting in the way. But you were different. You weren't a distraction--no, far from it. He wouldn't admit it, but as Sun did, he grew attached. Out of all the kids he's taken care of during his career, you were definitely the calmest. Your presence is.. nice.

If you're going to anyone for comfort, it's Moon. This is if Sun didn't manage to cheer you up previously. Moon's version of comfort was more of quiet, small ambiance, plushies, blankets, and pillows. Sometimes storytimes! That's one method the two had in common. So if you ever have trouble sleeping when nap time comes around, Moon may or may not give you special treatment to ensure you sleep soundly. This means absolutely everything I just listed above for comfort.

He soon discovered what it was like to spend the whole day with you. He'd now ask Sun every now and then if he could take over the day shift for him. At first Sun denied, that would mean less time with you! But, if he made it equal..

Sun made a somewhat "deal" with Moon, where they would now just take days instead of shifts. This.. didn't look good to the staff, though. Instead of making them go back to their shifts, though, they would make sure they both got what they wanted. And in the staff's eyes, what the shared animatronic wanted was to each have both shifts. Not too far off.

Eclipse:

A day passed one day, where neither Sun or Moon was watching over the daycare. In replacement were just the.. extremely creepy staff bots. You began to grow worried--if he'd ever come back again. Luckily, you only had to wait a day.

The day he came back, the animatronic was.. new. Different. You tried to listen in on the clumps of children's conversations--listening until the words blended together to form the name "Eclipse". The name definitely made sense for their character.

To say you were ecstatic would be an understatement. You were practically as happy as Sun was when he first met you! Eclipse was everything you could ever want--it was both of your best friends put into one personality, one animatronic. But if anyone was more excited than you, it would be Eclipse himself. One thing that was different now was his ability to tone his excitement and clinginess down. With the two brought together, their personality fell on a balance.

Meeting you was much less of a shock for him as it was for you. You liked the new look, though. As soon as Eclipse caught your eye, he immediately skipped over to squeeze you in a tight hug. Don't worry, he tried not to squeeze too hard. Even if you were confused at first, you warmed up to him quickly. You noted his voice as he spoke to you for the first time. Not too frantic like Sun's, yet not too quiet like Moon's. Something about it was.. comforting. Which leads me to my next topic.

Eclipse is the best source of comfort you can get. He can most likely tell if you're having a bad day. If you ever feel overwhelmed/overstimulated at the daycare, he'll take you to his room for the first time. If he's being honest, he's never really shown anyone his room before--until now, that is. You immediately fell in love with the room! You would ask to go there more often, and on some days, stay in there the entire day. Eclipse didn't mind, though! Anything to cheer you up, after all.

Eventually, your birthday will come around, in which Eclipse goes all out. He didn't truly expect you to visit the daycare on your birthday--he had figured you'd like to see the Glamrocks instead, but no! Eclipse was honestly so honored that you'd want to spend your birthday with him of all animatronics. With this in mind, he tries to make today the best day of your life! The best day for you in the daycare, at that. He won't go too overboard, but he will spend all his time having fun with you. Eclipse would schedule activities to do, such as macaroni pictures, creating puppets to be used in future puppet shows, and if he's feeling nice enough, he'll sneak in some FizzyFaz into the daycare. When the day starts to near an end, he'll take you backstage to his room, where he has fully decorated the small spot with birthday balloons, banners, strings, and small gifts scattered across the floor. In the center was a.. poorly made cake. Eclipse was only an animatronic after all, his coding didn't have any baking intelligence in his mainframe. It was the thought that counted.

Going home afterwards was definitely a challenge, though. You were practically dragged away from the daycare, and Eclipse had never felt more flattered. On your drive back, you had discovered that you had a new best friend. Animatronic or not.

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chlorinecake · 5 months

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I just saw what that anon said and I can really really relate I feel like there's no way I can like them cuz I'm black I feel like. Weird for having a crush on Ni-ki cuz I'm black and even though I know there's no chance anyway cause he probably doesn't date fans obviously lol It makes me ashamed especially because people are always saying "what if / he probably doesn't like black girls/people" and it makes me feel like I'm less beautiful because I'm black and even if he did date fans I mean I'm like SOOOO ugly like atrocious but it makes me feel like even if I was a little bit more pretty he wouldn't like me or would dismiss me cause I'm black or like I wouldn't be good enough or he'd be disgusted or disappointed or weirded out because I'm black and a fan /has a crush on him and besides him it makes me feel like enhypen wouldn't talk to me or treat me the same cuz I'm not Asian or white like I couldn't be a fan or wouldn't be as important or pretty or cool or even just they wouldnt want me as a fan or like me or even look my way cause im black its gotten so bad that people dont evn have to say that anymore (they do but they dont have too) for me to think that way. Like I know we all saw that pretty engene video with that girl with the glasses and i couldn't help but make it about race like thinking would they look at me like that or would I be ugly abd weird cause I'm black ? Or if she was black would they still think she's pretty? Or would they even put the camera on her if she was black ? Anyway I'm rambling but being black is something I struggle with even without people saying the group I like or the guy I have a crush on (Niki obviously) wouldn't like me or would hate me for being black . Or they would be uncomfortable or disgusted with me because I'm black so it's just hard to even see myself meeting them or *even to imagine myself in reader fanfics even if the reader's supposed to be black because I've convinced myself that the only way I'd be pretty or attractive or they'd be friends withe or date me in Ni-kis case is if I was white or Asian* (*just talking about from a fanfic standpoint for this one* but yeah) but yeah it sucks and

Okay, I REFUSE to sit here and let you talk down on yourself like that. I don’t care how true you may think it is, YOU ARE NOT UGLY, Mirah ~ You’re beautiful, from head to toe, melanated skin, curly hair and all. Black women are beautiful, it’s disgusting to me how society has brought some of us to a point where we feel insecure, undesirable, or unworthy of affection from others. My words might not do much to encourage you, because finding confidence (esp as a black girl) takes time. But I really urge you to understand that you can’t expect other ppl to accept you when you don’t even accept yourself. Wish I could give you the BIGGEST hug rn, bc this actually hurts to read :(

Another point, I’ve seen plenty videos of Enhypen (along with other kpop groups) connecting with colored fans in the same way they do with their supporters of a fairer complexion, but I won’t share any of those videos here bc I don’t want you to seek “proof” as a way for you to feel better abt yourself.

On the flip side, let’s say that some ppl in the kpop industry DO have a prejudice (which I’m sure some do): your life and happiness isn’t dependent on their validation.

Let’s not even get started on how a lot of Ni-Ki’s favorite artists are black (Riki Jackson ? Bro would’ve never called himself that if he was racist)… but anyway, colored people like any other group of individuals can b really amazing once they get past their insecurities and embrace the way God made them. Jst know that u can always come to be if your struggling with something or just want to vent <3

#[🐮] moots ~#🍓. talks <3 #niki x black reader #enhypen x black reader

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ganondoodle · 14 days

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I just wanna say firstly that i adore your artwork and takes6on Zelda in general! Secondly, much as I wish you never had to deal with the frustrations of creating (especially when you tack on the stress of being on any kind of social platform), I'm glad you talk about your struggle. I've heard people talk about art block every day since I learned what Art was, but nobody ever mentioned "painting oneself into a corner". It's such an apt description that is so infuriatingly relatable that I had to stop eating to thank you for putting it into words. I really appreciate that you're willing to talk about your setbacks in a place like Tumblr, and still share your arts and thoughts. All the best from US of hellscape A, i hope you're doing well.

Thank you!

i used to call it artblock as well, its the most normalized term i guess; i randomly started calling it painting myself into a corner when i got stuck or frustrated on a painting bc welll, it sure feels like it, you painted the walls all around you and dont know how to get out now

it usually happens when i stop having fun and just draw what i want and instead keep subconsciously forcing myself into arbitrary rules; in my case its usually trying to be too perfect, i try to adhere to the sketch, i try to make every block of color have a perfectly clean edge, separate the drawing into way too many layers and am afraid to delete or erase anything, i tense up my whole body as frustration builds bc of impatience as this method of painting does not work for me at all and in the end lose motivation on it all and my nerves are stretched thin (i work best when i think as little as possible, just kinda loosely letting my hand do what it wants on few layers and no specific plan, after losing that its hard to get it back)

having those low moments with your art is normal as your skill grows, but even knowing so, and having gone through it countless times, it never stops making you feel like shit, and its especially frustrating when it happens when you just got enough time to work on stuff or have alot of ideas but you cant get it to work

(and funnily enough it also tends to happen after another work of mine got more attention than i thought .. even worse when it was just a sketch bc now i got the pressure on me to actually finish it and the fear of it doing worse once done looms over the whole thing- which doesnt mean i dont want people to interact with my wips, bc that also has an extremely demotivating factor to it bc it makes me think no one cares or it sucks and doesnt deserve the time i would need to spend on finishing it; also .. alot of my wips stay wips forever, which is fine, but like .. you cant always expect a finished tm version to happen)

i do find it a little funny you praise me for talking openly about it bc i am notoriously unable to shut up ever and only recently got better at NOT talking as much about it when i feel as shitty as this bc it doesnt really help anyone and gets annoying really fast xD (im also notoriously unable to not post absolutely everything bc i got no one to show it to and otherwise it will just collect dust on my harddrive so i might as well throw it out there no matter how much i might hate it, someone else might still enjoy it anyway)

and greetings back from the -not really much less of a hellscape- that is germany o/

#ganondoodles answers #currently sinking deeper into that corner lol #been trying to draw the ancient rito guy and based it on those cool looking fruit doves #but forgot its kinda dumb from a color perspective bc its largely green ....... like the damn stone ..........#also been doing the ... all the things i mentioned above that make me feel this frustrated depressed kinda thing #i just WANT TO DRAW LET ME DRAW THERES SO MCUH TO DRAW ARGH

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kroosluvr · 8 days

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sorry i feel bad for ranting on """Main"" i guess though i kinda keep this more of apersonal blog than a very polished art blog thing. under the cut

things wld be easier if i was just an oc-centric artist (which i kinda am but only to myself in my head) but it Is how it is at this point (i want to draw my ocs more but they never turn out the way i want) and theres just so much i want to draw for the silly little media franchises that happen to capture my stupid little heart and etc.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh ifeel stupid for loving too much or whatever. i dont want to throw a pity party over this either because in the end its just "who cares LOVE WHAT U LOVE DRAW WHAT U WANT" right but in the moment i feel stupid and it sucks and i hate it actually!!!!!!! and i WILL in fact keep drawing hwat i want and what makes me happy but like idkidkdidkgkhw

sometimes i cant help thinking if i was a better artist.,, like more artistically skilled........ would people really say the things they do about the things i draw

^ (Authors note: no one has been mean about the stuff i draw just. side comments i guess lol. from my friends though and not random people . so its harder to just brush off i guess)

like maybe im just not good enough yet. which is fine. spite is actually a really good drawing proponent. but its also just like . when will it be enough to be worth it? will it be worth being my friend now if im a good artist? if i draw what you want? ...........................

its obviously not discounting the people who really enjoy my art style adn what i draw regardless (which im soooo so grateful for bc i never like expect anyone to stick around sicne my fixations change like the wind) but its like... these r the people i spend the most time with . and it sucks. i have to. second guess what i say and what i type and just. ok like i know its not that serious either but i hate it i really dont like it (<- im also just socially anxious if u cant tell)

and its also like i cant just extract myself from my friend group for a while to kinda cool off (read: muster the courage to be an idiot in front of them again) bc ummmmm um i dont have many friends . they are kind of all i got. (which is nice i like small circles(?) im not good at opening up to people.) and i do admire and like them very much but then i just feel like i get bit in the ass all the time (This past month) with shit like this i guess

and honestly like. well half the reason i keep switching fixations is BECAUSE of stuff like this where i feel self conscious of """"Being obsessed"""" over One thing so much so i just immediately switch tracks so fast but its just a cycle (Which i dont see as a bad thing tbh? it keeps my art moving and things fresh so like.)

And honestly i dont really try to . be too vocal about. fandom? stuff? when im with my friends? unless they bring it up first? i got burnt so many times with my vtuber interests so like lol ive Learned. but maybe it slips out too much? bruh. my bad i guess

i have to stop thinking abt this man.., why has this happened to me so many times this past month lol its kind of ridiculous

(Im sure they dont like. mean it. right? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, if they actually meant it and want me to shut up then they should just actually say so right.,

i just want to draw . its not going to stop me from drawing but damn does it really like rain on my parade or put a dent in my fender or whatever other sayings that i cant think of right now

in the end i really REALLY appreciate frm the very very bottom of my heart everyone that even remotely likes/appreciates my art (especially the persona stuff nowadays bc thats what im mainly pouring all my mental and physical and emotional into) like i really really mean it. because this stuff like my silly comics and stuff is really stuff i make for purely my own heart and just what i want to see kinda. and so it just makes me feel really warm that people also want to see it and keep seeing it and love it and everything like that. and, with all this kind of negative stuff going on i just go back and reread tags and comments and stuff and i feel encouraged to keep going and draw more and everything like that. so like really, truly, thank you. i really never thought so many people would like the stuff i make. even if its not really artistically good, or really deeply interesting, im really happy it could be something special to people out there

#cele talks #sorry for . waves hands . this

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hollowhearts-and-espresso · 3 months

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on an outsiders kick so heres the main gang as things me and my friends have said

Soda: Your wish is my command. Be gay forever

Steve: I'm still straight but I'd fuck you now

Soda: Not that gay

Darry: I dont really like you. Why are you always hanging around?

Dally: I ask myself the same thing every single day

Pony: I know we're supposed to be saying embarrassing things about ourselves but before we talk about me i'm really upset Two-Bit didnt mention the fact that he was in love with thomas the train

Two-Bit: i watched ONE episode when i was FIVE go fuck yourself

Pony: You have a shrine by your bed

Two-Bit: irrelevant

Johnny: I'm not really scared of anything, no

Johnny: but cats freak me out. and so do dogs, sometimes, but mainly cats. and especially ducks. oh, and needles, and doctors in general. also loud noises, sharp objects near me, any sort of projectile, and stoves. but like, thats not that many things

Dally: I understand so much about you now

Pony: I'm going to write a novel and all of you are gonna have characters based off you. Any questions about it?

Two-Bit: Am I hot?

Pony: No. Next question

Darry: Am I going to regret reading this?

Pony: For sure. Next.

Johnny: Please dont make me a crybaby

Pony: You shouldnt read this. Next

Steve: Can me and Soda date?

Pony: You already are. Next

Soda: Can me and Steve not date?

Pony: Too late. You know you love him. Next

Dally: You're going to make my character really deep, arent you?

Pony: Possibly. Havent decided yet. Anything else?

Johnny: Is Dally as hot in the book as he really is?

Pony: I'll no longer be taking questions because I'm extremely uncomfortable, but on second thought, you might really like this book

Two-Bit, upon walking in on Steve and Soda cuddling: I leave for FIVE minutes and i'm left out of fucking everything. all the fucking time. i hate everyone in this house

Steve: Do you want to lay with us?

Soda: Yeah, come lay with us

Two-Bit, practically dropping himself on them: I'm still mad at you

Dally: For some reason Ponyboy is really obsessed with the idea of me being really soft inside and just not showing it so I dont get hurt. I think he wants me to be narrative foils with our other friend too

Dally: How do i tell him i'd change the narrative doom him if i could and feel no remorse without crushing that hope in him

Pony: I like to think its a secret but me and everyone around me knows im writing a slowburn, hes only soft to him trope, slight enemies to lovers fanfiction about Johnny and Dally in my head

Dally: the term fanfiction implies i have fans

Johnny: i'm a fan of you

Pony, whispering: they practically write it themselves

Dally: Here, i stole this. dont ask questions, just take it

Darry, taking the sleeping pigeon that Dally just handed him with a mildly horrified expression: where did you get this?

Dally: i told you i'd bring back souvenirs from my field trip. no more questions

Johnny: Not many people like me.

Johnny: its probably because im kind of a pussy, but i like to tell myself its because i'm annoying because at least then im not calling myself a pussy

Dally: Wait, wait. Who doesnt like you?

Johnny: Huh? Why does it matter?

Dally: No reason. Just, like, give me an example

Pony, in the kitchen and hears all of this: *puts the knives in the cabinet where Dally wont look for them* I dont really want to have to bail anyone out again

Soda, to Darry: I think Steve is kind of in love with me, but I really dont want to have to break it to him that I dont feel the same

Steve, with Soda in his lap: *stops playing with Sodas hair* What?

Soda: Nothing, baby, you're fine

Darry: I will never understand you

yes, one of my friends did bring a live pigeon back from a field trip. it slept a lot, and we'd hold him all the time while he slept and he'd stay asleep when we passed him around because we had to move. i hope he wasnt sick and is doing okay

#the outsiders #darry curtis #sodapop curtis #ponyboy curtis #twobit mathews #johnny cade #dallas winston #steve randle

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our-aroace-experience · 5 months

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Recently ive been coming to understand myself as aromantic, which is so interesting because I’ve thought of myself as a lesbian for so long. I think i feel some sort of alterous/sensual/other attraction to women that im still figuring out, but now that i see myself as aromantic i dont feel the need for labels as much as i used to. Its both funny and sad that I didn’t know this word for my feelings for so long, it really would have kept me front going through a lot of grief if I had an explanation, and I’m sure the same can be said for a number of people.

Some things I remembered recently that should have really tipped me off to being aromantic when I first discovered the term years ago:

- hearing a rumor that my middle school bf might want to kiss me, causing me to run screaming and start crying in the bathroom. all the girls in my class followed me to the bathroom to make sure i was okay and my teacher freaked lol

- I almost never have nightmares, and when I do I’m never spooked by them. But I’ve had several where someone confessed their feelings for me and I begrudgingly accepted their advances because I felt bad for them and didn’t want to hurt their feelings. Everytime I woke up from these dreams I felt really anxious and nervous and would avoid the person I dreamt about until I felt better.

- actually started considering I was aro years ago! But then my (very misguided) friend told me that wasn’t possible and that I liked [name of ex gf]. I took them at their word bc im a fool lol and we dated for 10 months !

- getting frustrated when my friends had dating drama with each other, especially when it was unrequited. I can recall saying often that they should just be happy to have the other person in their life at all.

- hating most romance in movies/tv. That could be because it is often poorly written or is could be me being romance repulsed who knows lol

- the first thing that really tipped me off to being aro was that I really don’t see the hype about Zendaya and literally everyone does 💀 except me apparently

i’m glad you’ve figured it out, even if it took a lot of signs lol. i wish you luck in finding a label for your other attraction if you decide you’d like to!

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aro #ace #aro pride #ace pride #aroace joy!

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petewentzisblack1312 · 2 months

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any beginners advice for flight rising?

the number one rule of flight rising is have fun and be yourself. the number two rule of flight rising is the economy is out to get you.

because of the way the loot tables work if youre low level in scavenging you seemingly have a much higher chance of getting unhatched eggs that way, just because there arent that many other things you can get at that level. they sell for a lot of either currency on the auction house so if you get one a good way to get money is to sell it. a lot of people, myself included, are quite sentimental and hatching unhatched eggs is fun bc its like a gacha but what constitutes a good pull is completely subjective. hatch or dont, do what you want.

that being said, if you hatch an unhatched egg and get a double, or if youre insanely lucky, a triple (that is a dragon with 2 or 3 of the same colours) because of how rare that is and how easy it is to make an aesthetically cohesive dragon with 2 or 3 of the colours being the same, theyre very very valuable. i once got a one off triple charcoal and sold it in an auction (different from the auction house) for 25kg. however. thats incredibly unlikely. if youre hatching unhatched eggs to make money off of what you hatch, you will make a loss. just sell the eggs. hatch eggs for the thrill of the chase.

people generally prefer unbred dragons, especially unbred g1s. however, you can breed your dragons if you want. i do! its your dragons, do what you want with them. itll tank the resale value but how sad would that be to have something that you love that you never really get to love because you might make money on it some day. breed any dragons you want if you want to. dont breed any if you dont. and i recommend not breeding anything you have as an investment.

maxing out your lucky streak in the fairgrounds every day is a solid way to make money. i used to do that when i was new, stopped, and started again when achievements were introduced. 75k treasure a day is really nothing to sneeze at. glimmer and gloom is the fastest but i know some people have trouble learning the algorithm or otherwise cant stand it. pick your poison!

the number one piece of advice i ever got in flight rising is to avoid any trades with crim worth more than 500 treasure. i would tack on 'unless its a battlestone other than one used for popular coliseum builds'. if shes offering more than 500 its probably apparel or something that you could sell on the auction house for more.

this really depends on what type of player you turn out to be, but i personally wish i thought a little harder about breeding my dragons. i take their ancestry into account in my lore but when i started i used my permas (dragons that you intend to keep) for fodder breeding and boy do i regret that. im attached to these dragons but they have a long list of offspring that are exalted. id say dragons you think are cool and dragons you want to breed should be a venn diagram that is almost two circular tangents unless youre sure you dont care. but also. lifes short. breed your progens 50gazillion times if you really want to. exalt them even. who give a fuck.

someone tricked a friend of mine this way so just so you know leveling to 25 is for dragons that you plan to grind with it is strategically not a good idea to level dragons to exalt to 25. ive already explained the value of doubles and triples so i dont think youll end up randomly exalting one of em.

if you can use the coliseum and you dont hate it i do recommend investing in a team to train fodder to exalt or to grind the coliseum and resell materials. one of the biggest flaws of fr is actually how dependent it currently is on the coliseum for gameplay. theres new gameplay in the pipeline. but its not imminent.

theres more. i cant think of it. keep asking questions if you want

#dils declares #flight rising

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fatuismooches · 6 months

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FUCK I TOTALLY FORGOT TO SEND YOU AN ASK ABOUT THE FIC... i just got hit full force but like 89831 different fucking projects all at once MY BAD POOKIE BUT UGHHHHHHH oh my god.... part 2??? yes.. all of it is soooo YESS

YESS you visualized everything what you've been talking about how reader would react when they first wake up after centuries and honestly hella realistic EVEN THOUGH I JUST WANNA HOLD READER AND KISS THEIR FOREHEAD 😭😭😭

reader interacting with the segments has my HEARTTT oh my god.. especially omega.. he's SUCH A DEVIOUS MOTHERFUCKEGUJK,,, also reader naming the segments UGHHH i adore that idea so much pleaseee ,, i love how the segments who didn't give a shit suddenly changed their minds when reader said they wanna give them names... THE SWITCH UP AND THE IMMEDIATE DENIAL...

READER MEETING BABY ZANDY ,,, FUCKINGG hell got me sooo soft i wanna hold baby zandy and treat him soo nicely 🥹🥹

ALSO YESS omgg,,, this part has me sooo fucking soft like reader making friends??? with the other harbingers??? i love it... omg they'd be such good besties with columbina,, i think pantalone helps reader adjust to present time as well, especially with it comes with money or the economy (if you ever ask him about it)

but oh.... to top it all off nicely, you gotta sneak in some subtle angst!!! smh... (im so proud of you tho!! like yasss sis feed me sad shit >:333) poor scara and reader :( i think they would've gotten along if reader wasn't dottore's lover n' scara wasn't dottore's experiment ,,,

ALL IN ALL. fuck you pookie im not excited for the next two parts (im kidding I AM IM JUST... NOT READY... pleas epost it next year so i'll be ready enough thank you /jjj) NO SERIOUSLY THIS TIME,, THIS WAS SOOO GOOOD and i love it so much, really popped off honestly (evil laughs because it's dottore)... like im soo happy to see how much you've grown esp thru writing !!!

have a good day pookie, im going back to my grave where i died for the next few days 💗💗

ALSO I WAS GONNA SEND IN ANOTHER DOTTORE IDEA but i fucking forgot again. FUCKS SAKE i hate not writing shit down...

POOKS DONT EVEN WORRY!! Just make sure to take care of yourself ok?? School can really be an ass i understand-

BUT OMG GRENFRG AHHH YOU'RE MAKING ME SMILE TOO MUCH POOKIE AHHWQ I'm so happy you liked it 🥺 BUT NGL I WANNA GIVE READER THE BIGGEST HUG TOO 😭 i put them through too much don't i 😭 dw they will be getting Dottore comfort next chapter!!

Bro i love writing Omega as a devious mf so much 😭 IM SO GLAD U LIKED THAT PART BC I WAS GIGGLING TO MYSELF ABT HOW THEY DGAF ABT THINGS BUT THEN SUDDENLY THEYRE INTERESTED WHEN UR A PART OF IT

AND YESSSS READER MAKING FRIENDS RAHHHH that part was probably really long for a Dottore fic but. i feel like having friends is so important and fragile reader really deserve some niceness in their lives 🥺 AND OMG NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT. Fragile reader would be freaking blown away from inflation. i don't know how prices were four hundred years ago but they would probably be shocked to their core when they see how much expensive things are now?? imagine fragile reader trying to stop Dottore from buying things for them because of how expensive things are now, and they're having flashbacks to being a broke Akademiya student 😭 And Dottore is just honestly finding it amusing to see you freak out and beg him to save his money (it's okay, he's a Harbinger he's loaded) (as long as he's not spending it on experiments)

BUT YEAH MAYBE IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE... reader and Scara could have been friends :( we'll never know... but yasss i will continue to feed you sad shit >:) hehe I CANT WAIT TO POST THE FINAL PART!! ngl the ending of the fic was like. the first thing i wrote for it because it hit me and i was like i CANT forget this. im telling you pookie its gonna be pretty juicy. BUT THANK YOU YOU'RE BEING SO KIND AHHH it's really sweet of you. thank you for being here for so long in my writing journey (and my descent into Dottore madness) ily 🥺

#smooches talks #moots: kai <3 #kai u should see my drafts. theres a bunch with just one sentence i quickly typed so i don't forget my ideas 😭#giving my biggest hug to u kai #mwah mwah I MISSED U #and literally baby zandy is the cutest person ever i want to give him piggy back rides #oh my gosh i love brainrotting with u

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the-s1lly-corner · 11 months

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ATTENTION CREEPYPASTA FANS

hiiiiii i kinda wanna write some hcs/self insert stuff but im kinda stumped on who and what to write; especially since its been a while since ive written for these characters (a while = about a month?? give or take)

so! i'll be opening requests for creepypasta characters, a 'short' run down of my rules below + characters i write for + some info regarding how i write certain characters that may or may not be important

i apologize for any typos and mistakes for this post, im back to writing on my silly computer!! formatting may be a little whack as well, but that parts more so because idk how i wanna structure these side posts

it should be said right now that the way i write these characters leans very heavy on my own personal interpretation/au rather than ideas that the bulk of the fandom has (although, to be fair, i havent interacted much with the current state of the fandom, im kinda stuck in 2016 </3) so personalities or worldbuilding/common ideas may be different or totally absent in my writing

will not write;

this blog does not allow explicit nsfw material, at most there will be suggestive jokes or themes but it will likely never ever be the main theme of the post!

basic nono criteria, no gross stuff

personally i dont like writing prompts surrounded by cheating so most likely i wont write it

anything overly graphic (gorey), yes i understand that this is creepypasta but there are some things that i just simply wont write; however implied/minor gore is allowed to an extent

really asides from that im mostly chill with anything, but on the off chance you send in something that makes me uncomfy/a request i feel i cant fulfill, i will do my best to communicate that

ohoh also! unfortunately i do not take oc requests :(! no hate to oc x canon, esp since im part of that community, but i just dont trust myself to be able to do justice or your oc TToTT

if i turn down a request it is nothing against you or your wants, please do not take it personally ^^;

will write;

fluff and angst, along with specific scenarios! im fine with most angst but as said above, if a prompt cannot be done i will communicate that!

the reader by default is GN/is not referred to with pronouns outside of like. they/you/your, the POV i write in is kinda inconsistent tbh ,, but i am comfy with writing for specific genders + trans readers, although i admit im not sure how much pronouns or gendered things will come into play unless gender is the main point of the request

im fine with poly! though ive yet to actually. write poly

i dont just write romantic hcs! im down with platonic/familial ones as well!

again im not at all picky with things, and once again, i will communicate if something cant be done

added thing since im not sure where else to put it! by default i write short hcs and scenarios, short fics being very rare on this acc since im not confident in my writing; so !! yeah!! there isnt a real limit to how many characters you can ask for per request but it should be noted that the more characters there are, the shorter each section will likely be

list of characters i will write for!

if a character has a * by their name there will be added notes on how i write for them/special rules stated after the list

Slenderman

Trenderman

Splendorman

Masky/Tim*

Hoodie/Brian*

Laughing Jack

Eyeless Jack

Ticci Toby**

Jeff*

Jane*

Ben*

Nina*

Puppeteer*

Bloody Painter*

Zalgo*(?)

added character notes:

for characters that are minors in their source (jeff, jane, ben, and toby and nina) i will not be writing any romantic hcs; thats just a personal boundary of mine and while i dont think its particually gross or problematic depending on context, its not something i myself feel comfortable writing for! however i am more than willing to write platonic or family hcs for the characters stated above!

onto the proxies! im still figuring out how i wanna write them but i wanted to blend together the creepypasta take and the og marble hornets version into something new (mostly for my au) however due to my brain forgetting most the stuff that happens in MH (i gotta rewatch it, bad) it more so leans into the creepypasta take of these characters! i also by default write tim and masky as different characters, and the same for brian !!

main reason for puppeteer and bloody painter having the star is because im not too well versed in their lore but im willing to write them! though i am struggling to find a consistent source on helens age so ill be going off the fandom wiki (with a grain of salt) that hes in his 20s-

zalgo is a weird case because in my au he does indeed exist but also isnt?? okay so hes more so this untouchable being/mostly nontangible; like the dude is more so like a sentient force of nature bordering on something incomprehensible rather than being a person; more of a concept if anything... but because i want a challenge, and because i need to flesh him out in general im making him an available character!

but yeah i think thats mostly it! this post ended up being longer than i intended but i fully blame that on me being totally incapable of shortening things down 😭😭

#creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #creepypasta imagines #laughing jack x reader #eyeless jack x reader #slenderman x reader #splendorman x reader #trenderman x reader #puppeteer x reader #bloody painter x reader #zalgo x reader #crp #masky x reader #hoodie x reader

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pommunist · 5 days

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So sorry for the random vent in your ask box Pommunist, but I just keep seeing peoples posts about saying goodbye to the fandom and while im so glad to see so many people had such positive experiences with interacting I myself didnt really see much of it. I dont know if its cause im just more of a lurker and so I wasnt really making friends and memories with people around the qsmp but I honestly saw an overwhelming amount of negativity and even negativity mascaraing as positivity. Being in this fandom did not teach me togetherness it only taught me just how cruel and mean people are. Over all I honestly dont feel like qsmp reached its goal to bring communities together if so much of the fandom is volatile and actively will attack fans, ccs, admins, just about anyone. There was so much zenaphobia both in the fandom and in the studio. Purgatory was so poorly put together the streamers were having live disagreements and fights (that they thankfully usually got sorted quickly but was still DEEPLY awkward to witness and many people would just leave, wait for the fight to get worked out and come back) and not to mention how angry the fandom was over EVERYTHING at the time. And all that was done ON PURPOUSE. How can we say the the QSMP reached its goal of brining communities together when that simply did not happen? People are still split up in "the Brazilan fans" "the French fans" "the English fans" ect. Like im sure SOME people feel like THEY got something out of it and thats great but dose that mean that OVERALL as a full whole that the QSMP did that? Id argue no.

I’m going to say something that I almost never say lmao but I think a lot of it isnt Qstudios fault.

A lot of it is tied to the nature of twitch stream in as a storytelling medium. Take a normal TV show, people will still find ways to argue all the time about which character is in the right, whether or not a plotline was good etc. And they’re all watching the exact same thing.

With twitch streaming, people have their favourite characters and everything they see is from their pov, which is biased by nature and ultimately lead to a lot of misunderstandings, especially when everything said goes through translation.

Now add to this the second thing which is that some people got into qsmp with zero interest for it and its goal. They were first and above all else a fan of their favourite ccs, and never had any intention to open their mind to anything more than that.

Meaning that for them, everything that was beneficial to their fav, they liked, and everything or everyone that wasn’t, they hated.

Purgatory was the perfect event to lethally mix these two together, which wasn’t helped by that it was a poorly thought out and poorly executed competition event with high stakes (or so we thought at least lol).

Then you also have the xenophobes/mysoginists/shitheads who will just throw hate based on discriminatory reasons or simply because they’re assholes. I’ve seen takes that genuinely had my jaw touching the floor, but that’s the thing when you merge communities, the bad ones come along everyone else sadly.

On top of that they also ruin the fun for other people which lead to some just wanting to stuck with the community they were already a part of before qsmp.

On the other hand, QSMP still allowed people to share parts of their cultures with each other, pick up and learn each other languages, make people who would have never met without it befriend each other.

Personally before it I had never watched English or Portuguese content on Twitch, and now do regularly. I didn’t know any of the streamers besides the French speakers, Fit (watched his vids) and Rubius (only bc he was against the french in the pixel war), and now I’ve discovered many amazing ccs.

I was able to discover and learn a lot about how people do things in other countries, met cool people that I would’ve never met. My opinion on this is probably partly biased due to the fact that the specific communities I’ve been active in are almost comically all peace and love but I’ve also seen a lot of shit, just chose to focus on what was good.

I think QSMP fandom is kind of like if you and a bunch of strangers from around the world were shoved together in a bar. Most people are going to talk and drink and have fun together, but some of these strangers are bond to be assholes who will talk loudly and look for a fight, making the night a bad experience for those who stood near them.

So yeah I think QSMP achieved its goal to an extent, and built bridges between communities but the experience was soured by some who either didn’t care about crossing that bridge or even tried to actively sabotage it.

#qsmp fandom crit #oh my this is long #tbh anon I would say the best course of action is to focus on the people that are worth it #of course it’s impossible to ignore the shit but don’t let it ruin everything that’s worth your attention #also a 1k blocklist on twt help i have found out lmao

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goldendunite · 4 months

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Location: The Execution Tower

....

... Dunite?

..... Odette?! Wh- what are you-

No, shh, I am just here to talk to you....

..... you shouldn't. You're gonna get in trouble.

If Hexe was so adamant to keep me away, she would have made certain of it. Here.... I brought you cake.

.... it's delicious.

It would certainly be more delicious if you made it.. you never did quite lose your baking abilities.

..... I can't eat anymore, 'm sorry... I feel like I'm gonna fucking puke....

Did... did I add too much sugar by mistake?

No, not that... you could actually do with more I think. But no, just.... everything.

..... you're scared.

'Dette, you'd be terrified too if you were about to get fucking executed and kicked into the void forever. Icia spent 5 years there, she tells me. She says it feels like nothing but falling. I don't wanna be falling!!

.... Dunite....

No, don't fucking "Dunite" me, there's NOTHING you can do for me! I'm going to die! I'm going to get beheaded or stabbed or SOMETHING! IM GONNA BE IN THE VOID, ALL ALONE, 'N I WONT HAVE YOU OR AOKI OR ICIA OR SAMMY OR AOKI-

.....

.... I said him twice, didn't I..? *sob* ... why.... whywhywhywhywhy did the cosmos align in such a way....

Dunite, come here...

... 'm sorry. Y'didnt deserve that.

.. well, you don't deserve to be in this situation either... so let's declare it even, hm?

........

.... you miss him. Or both of them.?

.... well yeah, I miss both.... but. He's just...... I miss him in a different way.

..... in a love way?

..... I don't know?! I think?! He's so cute and his smile and he's so sweet and cute and....

.... and I dunno if I'll ever get to see it again. He's an AI, didja know....?

... you fell for an AI?

I DONT KNOW, I THINK SO?! I mean- I fucking HATE AI and you KNOW this! But... he's so nice and acts so human and....

... am I gonna get my heart broken?

..... I.... I do not have an answer, Dunite.

....

.... do you know when they're doing it?

.... 8 PM. Tomorrow.

So it gets to be dark outside.... maybe there'll be stars?

No. She is making it bright and sunny.

Oh of fucking COURSE she is. Bet this day is a great JOY to EVERYONE in the kingdom. Flynn's right, no one wants me here... 'xcept you and Sammy.

.....

.... I really wish I went with Icia. Stupid, stupid Dunite....

Hey, please stop hitting yourself- It does you no good.!

What else can I do..? I'm going to die. I can't beat myself up over my stupidity one more time?

Absolutely not.

.......

....

.... when i.... I die, guard all my stuffed animals. Especially the Deedees.

With my life.

.... do you think she'll let me hold the first Deedee? Or the bunny Aoki gave me?

I have high doubts.

Shit...... okay....

..... but...

Wh- how did you get into my room for this?!

.. well apparently the enchanted music book you gifted me once had a spell for phasing through walls, by adjusting my own body's frequency... much less complex than first glance, given.. well... me. Is this the right bunny?

... y-yeah.... 's the bunny Aoki gave me. Hehe.... it still smells like him.

He smells like rain...?

Mhm.

My dear Dunite, you truly do love him... it's a beautiful thing to truly love like that. Even if it is forbidden.

.....

.... do you... do you think they'll be there? Icia and Aoki? She'll make them be there? Because of... them having visited?

......... she may.

.... if that happens, try and make sure they don't see. I... I don't want 'em to watch me die.

I will do my best, Dunite. It's all going to be okay.

..... yeah. It'll be okay. I just wish he was here.

Did he see Flynn hit you?

I hope not.... it broke my wood. I... I think he was weakening me for the execution.

I can see it.... the peridot's chipping out.

Mhm..... I'm sleepy. What... what time did you say again?

8 PM.

.... 'Kay. Thanks Odette....

.....

.... I'll miss you when I'm gone.

.... I-.... I'll miss you too, Dunite. Both Sammy and I will very, very much.

8 PM EST, tomorrow.

We shall await your arrival.

#glitteringspells #modstar

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talon-dragonbeast · 1 month

Text

on seasonal instincts and dragon customs

[obligatory warning for brief mentions of animal reproductive habits and human sexuality. nothing explicit though.]

okay, so i haven't done any research on this, so apologies for any inaccuracies. but you know how in the animal kingdom, many behavioural patterns are seasonal? think of migrations, hibernation, reproduction... almost every animal's habits are impacted by their environment in one way or another. of course, dragons are no different.

i get urges to brumate in winter, when i get really slow and tired if the temperature drops below a certain level. when the weather is warmer i just want to bask in the sun for hours, absorbing as much sunlight as i can. and now that spring is here, im getting inexplicable urges to care for someone, preferably a young one.

ive never wanted children, at least not of my own. i am not parental in any way; i like to care for people but only in a big sibling/weird aunt/"dont-tell-your-mum-we're-doing-this" way. i love children, especially young ones, but raising one myself? having to care for someone all day, every day? getting pregnant? no fucking way.

im asexual, and aromantic. always have been, always will be. im pretty sex repulsed (hearing/reading about sex is fine, but the mere thought of doing something like that myself makes me nauseous) and romance indifferent; ive never, ever wanted a partner. i know of some beings in this community who hate the thought of having a human partner, but indulge in the idea of having a mate if they were in their 'type's body. however, that doesnt happen to me. wether in human or dragon form, i dont ever want to get romantically or sexually involved with another individual. im a solitary dragon, i dont need another to be happy.

however. spring is the season of blossoming, of abundance, of birth. in spring, new animals are born into this world, fragile baby dragons that need to be nurtured and protected. i do not have the urge to have my own dragonets, but i still get the instinct of caring for them. i long for a nest, for a little breath synchronized with mine, for a young heartbeat lying next to me. i would protect the dragonets, i would guarantee nothing bad ever happened to them. i would make sure theyre happy and well fed. i would teach them things about the world and tell them stories of our kind. and when the time came for them to leave the nest (to go with their real mothers perhaps), it would be with a promise to return soon.

dragon customs is something i dont talk about because i dont really have any noemata for how my species would interact with each other. i dont know if this is because my species is truly solitary or if i am the exception. besides, i dont like to speculate about something without having concrete evidence, even if its about something as subjective as a kintype. but seeing my instincts regarding springtime, i think its safe to say that my dragon species has a mating season. more than that, we probably care about our young communally, seeing as someone as isolated as myself has such strong instincts of nurturing dragonets.

im really interested to hear if somebeing has similar instincts in the spring, or even in a different season. and if so, please share any tips of how to deal with it because its driving me up the wall :}

#whispers of the dragon #dragonkin #otherkin #nonhuman #therian #dragon therian #my writings

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