#ignoring all the holy lessons and shit? i.. actually had a lot of fun | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

queers-gambit · 2 years

Note

Hello my darling Cherry!

I do hope you are doing well, and if I saw correctly, your birthday just passed recently so a very happy birthday to you darling!! Hugs and kisses!! 🖤🖤

Might I request a prompt, cause Im a sucker for some good old fashioned angst, lets go with 104 "why couldn't you love me?" As for the character.. gotta go with my fellow Slytherin, Draco Malfoy.

Take your time, as Im sure you have plenty of requests to get through first!

Xoxoxo 🖤

hi my sweetness!! thank you for the well wishes, i am sending you lots of forehead kisses! angst comin' at'cha, doll 😉 i MIGHT be biased, but Slytherin's definitely do it better 😉🖤 (tbh i'm kinda ignoring all responsibilities b/c i think these small blurbs are fun)

War of the Hearts

prompt 104: "why couldn't you love me?"

pairing: Draco Malfoy x female!reader fandom: Harry Potter word count: 3k warnings: small angst, ambiguous ending, no comfort?, small cursing!! Slytherin reader!!

You know that awkward phase between childhood and adulthood? Where you're sometimes considered 'too young' for certain shit, but then also 'too old' for other shit? It's that in-between phase where nothing makes sense, yet you're expected to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life. That place where love begins, and often ends; where education is your entire life, you've no honest idea how to handle money, and nothing seems fair. That place where you hate remaining and want to fast forward through, and yet, wish to return back to when you're older and life proves much harder.

These are the years you discover what you like, what you don't like; where you determine for yourself what's right and wrong; where you have to start thinking outside of the boxes; the years you figure 'I have my whole life for this', but feel the crushing pressure of society.

These are the formative years, 'the time of your life'.

Yet nobody bothered to warn you about the gut wrenching pain you'd feel when you fell in love with someone you shouldn't have. Yet all of those Muggle romance novels filled your head (and heart) with nonsense about if you stayed loyal, he'd love you back. That if you remained attentive, he'd see you for who you are. That if you proved to him that you were worth loving, he would...

Yet, Draco Malfoy couldn't love anyone more than himself.

It wasn't always like this: where you two dodge around corners to avoid each other, sit on opposite ends of the Great Hall's table, how you refused to sit at any table with him during classes.

You actually used to be joined at the hip. Being best mates often did that to people - just look at Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, and Hermione Granger.

Where Pansy Parkinson followed Draco Malfoy around like a lost puppy, praying for scraps of spare food, Draco actually sought your friendship - much to Pansy's chagrin. He liked to take meals together; he liked sitting by the Black Lake while you read. He liked watching you study, because your nose would scrunch up in concentration and he found the quirk endearing.

You thought that MAYBE life wouldn't be cruel when you admitted your feelings - but Holy Merlin, were you wrong.

It was like any other Tuesday, and you were relieved of your Care of Magical Creatures lesson after Hagrid, the Games Keeper and CoMC professor, accidentally crushed two Bowtruckles - and insisted on paying his respects by hosting a funeral.

Plus he had to soothe the remaining Bowtruckles, who were outraged by the murders.

It allowed the Slytherin and Gryffindor Houses to wonder about their business until later classes, and Draco was quick to snag you away towards the Black Lake.

"Complete oaf of a man," Draco grumbled, dropping to the grass at the base of a thick tree. "What a waste of time, that class."

"He's not that bad," you defended Hagrid - finding the man closer to a gentle giant than anything. When Draco's sneer turned to you, you amended, "C'mon, how sane in the head would you be with a job like that, hey? Man likes dragons more than people."

Draco snickered, "You might have a point there. Think I'd blow my lid working that job. Good things we're destined for more, right?"

"Sure," you chuckled. "Besides, it's not so bad when he lets us out for the rest of the afternoon," you shrugged lightly, pulling out your potions textbook to prepare for your afternoon lesson.

"Must you do that?"

"Do what?"

"We were let out for the afternoon, and you're still studying? We've not even had potions yet!"

Your shoulders heaved again, "So? No such thing as being too prepared. Besides, I didn't do too well last lesson, I want to do better. Knowing the recipe is gonna help me better."

Malfoy quickly snatched your book from your lap, offering an annoyed look. "You'll be studying all evening, too. Maybe you could spare your best mate a few moments of time?"

You sighed lightly, "You literally always have my attention, you child. Maybe I could focus on school?"

"And what? Miss this beautiful day?" His brow perked as he smirked lightly. "We could instead talk about what you want for your birthday."

"Oh, no, no, nothing. I don't want anything, you know I don't fancy my birthday."

"And you know I never listen," he teased. "C'mon, Mother sent me an early allowance, said I should get you something on our next Hogsmeade trip."

Narcissa, for being a stoic, icy woman, was decently kind to you. Perhaps it was your pure blood status, maybe it was your outstanding marks during your OWLs. Whatever it was, you were grateful she had finally warmed up to you - and now, she was sending Draco money? For your birthday present?

That was a kindness you were not akin to.

"I'll let you restock my chocolate supply," You relented gently, leaning back on the tree trunk. Draco grunted lightly as he readjusted, lowering his head to your lap - like usual - and allowing your manicured nails to rake through his hair. You remembered the days he styled it slicked back, hair a bit crunchy to touch. He abandoned the style and opted to grow his hair out a bit, letting the lock hang loosely and soft.

"Deal," he sighed lightly. "You've any idea what you're doing for the holidays, then? Won't be long now, hey?"

"Not yet," you spoke softer, knowing returning home was going to be near impossible since your parents had sent word they're staying with your aunt - in Canada.

"Wanna come home to mine?" He asked.

"You sure?"

"Yeah," he sighed again, eyes closed under the warm, last-days-of-summer sun. "Things are a little more bearable with you around."

Your cheeks felt warm suddenly, clearing your throat, "Um, yeah, sure, put me down as a definite maybe - but I'll have to check back home."

"Course," he agreed.

It was quiet for a few minutes, your nails scratching over his scalp; then you're feeling this overwhelming urge to be honest.

"Hey, Draco...?"

"Hmm?"

"You ever give any thought into... Dating?"

This made his eyes open and a smirk to pull across his lips, "Oh, my Merlin - you've a crush on someone?" He sat up swiftly, "Why didn't you tell me? Who is it? It's gotta be a Slytherin, right?"

You felt nervous suddenly, "Well, I mean, I wasn't gonna say anything, I was just wondering if you ever - I don't know - put thought into it. Like, if anyone was on your radar..."

"Someone's on yours," he smirked. "C'mon, what're you on about? Do you need advise? Do you want me to say something to this guy? Or is it a girl - I'm not here to judge you."

"N-No, it's a guy," you nodded sheepishly. "Okay, so, maybe I do need advice. What's... What's the best way to go about admitting my feelings? I don't want to overwhelm him, or run him off..."

Draco nodded, "Well, I think being honest is a great start. Look, honestly? There's never going to be a perfect moment, so, you've gotta create one on your own. Just take control of the situation."

You nodded, nerves skyrocketing to shatter the glass ceiling, "Um... Draco?"

"Yeah, sunshine?"

Your eyes slowly filled with tears as your head cocked, and you spoke with meaning, "Draco..."

"Hmm?" He paused, eyes scanning all across your face. Then, realization marred his features, forcing him to mutter, "Wait... No..."

This time, your shoulders shrugged weakly, "Yeah."

"No - you're talking about me?" You nodded mutely, feeling your throat constrict at the look of disbelief (and not relief or excitement) on his face. "You can't be," he begged.

"Why not? 'S that hard to think?" You tried to play off by laughing humorlessly at yourself.

"I didn't say that," he frowned. "But you just - you can't."

"Why can't I? I'm a girl, yeah? I can have feelings."

"It's not that, I know you can, but-but - we can't. Okay? You can't like me, or whatever, w-we can't work. No. No..."

"Draco," you begged when he stood up, making you sit up when he stood. "Wait - where are you going!?"

"I'm sorry," his head shook, eyes refusing to meet yours now. "I'm sorry, but I can't. Don't worry about Christmas. I-I'll talk to you later."

He rushed off, feet trodding over the slowly-drying grass; leaving you in honest disbelief about what you did wrong. But fear and insecurity clouded your mind, making you retreat to your dorm for the rest of the evening. You didn't bother with potions class, nor with dinner; choosing to pull the curtains of your four-poster bed, and plunge into a depressing darkness.

For weeks, you avoided Draco like the plague - and in turn, he refused to be within a few feet of you. And yes, the entire school took note - or that's how it felt. Like everyone's eyes were burning into you when you walked by yourself somewhere; worked with a few lone Ravenclaws in Herbology; or even took a meal towards the end of the Slytherin table in the Great Hall.

It was painful to endure, but your classes offered as a distinct distraction, you found your days passing uneventfully; thankfully they weren't dragging on, and on, and on, and on, like before.

The cold weather sunk into the air and started to darken the skies. Moisture was frozen in its place. Life dredged on without you, and yet, there wasn't a single care to be given since life felt uneasy without your best friend at your side.

Anxiety drug your stomach lower to your feet as the days grew shorter, darker; days growing weary with the festering of evil once again brewing in the countryside. Dark wizards were popping up more and more, leaving most to cower in their wake; but for some brave souls to take a stand.

Your family was purebred, yes - but had originally lived in Ireland, and could avoid the darkness circulating around England during the first War. After You-Know-Who had been vanquished the first time, your parents figured it was safe enough to move to London - where your father accepted a Ministry job - and brought you with them. Few years later, you're receiving your Hogwarts letter, and then rumors of the Dark Lord returning pushed everyone on edge, but after his return officially in your Fourth Year, your parents are gathering their belongings and leaving Great Britain for good.

Canada seemed safe, so, to Canada they went.

You refused to flee with them.

You were immersed in your studies at Hogwarts, and this was the only summer you technically needed to worry over since next year, you'd be graduating, and hopefully earning employment that would allow you to seek a new, affordable home.

And now? You just worried about the loss of your best friend.

It felt detrimental.

Your life felt like it was teetering on the edge of a wand, just waiting for someone to push you one of which ways. Either you'd be okay, or you'd crumble under the weight.

However, you were unprepared to run into Draco some few weeks after Christmas, finding him (more) pale, sweaty, and thinner than usual - like he'd not eaten a proper meal since before the holidays.

And he looked frazzled, as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't've. You were on your way back from the library, Madam Pince needing to literally chase you out, and Draco was coming out of the main corridor.

Where was he coming from at this hour? You had no idea - because it wasn't your place to know.

Clearing your throat, your eyes adverted to the ground, muttering a quick, "Excuse me."

"Wait," Draco reached for your wrist, forcing you to halt your escape in earnest confusion.

"What, Malfoy?"

"Oh, it's Malfoy now, is it?"

You huffed, "What do you want? I don't fancy bein' caught outside the common room after hours."

"What're you doing out, anyways?"

You eyed him with skepticism, "Would you want me asking you the same?"

Draco nodded stiffly, "Guess not. C'mon."

He moved ahead of you, leading down into the dungeons; temperature dropping in a strange, soothing sensation across your skin. Reaching the barren wall of stone, Draco muttered the password that revealed the common room's door; allowing us passage inward, to discover only a few Seventh Years left studying by the firelight.

"Well," you cleared your throat awkwardly, "um, right, yeah, goodnight."

"Wait," he sighed tiredly, turning to face you in haste. "C-Can we talk?"

"About what?"

"About why things suck so much between us right now," he frowned.

"Guess that's my fault, hey?"

"Well, maybe if you'd allow a conversation, you'd understand better..."

You nodded mutely, gesturing Draco forward. He lead you to the gathering of soft sofas, keeping you both semi-private as he sat beside you; watching you stare off to one of the many green-flame torches lining the interior of the common room.

"What is it, Draco?" You whispered. "'M tired, just wanna go to bed."

"Right," he sighed, leaning his elbows to his knees. "Listen... I just need you to know, that you're my best mate..."

"I know."

"And you mean the world to me."

"Yeah?"

"Of course - "

"Then why couldn't you love me?"

It was quiet; Draco's red-tinged eyes turning darker, glassier; indicating he was holding back tears. His lips rolled in-between his teeth, weighing his words.

"Because I can't be who you need."

"You ever pause and consider, you were already what I needed? Or that I didn't need anything more than what you were already giving me?"

It was quiet again, Draco mulling words over in his head. He sighed before speaking again, "You're too good for someone like me."

"The bloody hell is that supposed... To..." You caught sight of the tips of inking on his forearm, "Mean... Draco?" You reached for his wrist, trying to pull his robe sleeve up, but he was much quicker in yanking it away. "Draco - let me see your arm. Now."

"No."

"No?" You scoffed, narrowing your eyes. "What's there, Draco?"

"Nothing of your concern - "

"I'd beg to differ," you sneered with a harsh and heavy glare.

"Leave it."

"Show me."

"No."

"Then don't assume to speak to me again," you glared, pushing off the velvet sofa.

"Wait - "

"Tell me the truth," you sneered, rounding on him in anger, "did you think you could keep that a secret from me?"

Draco swallowed thickly, "I thought I could evade you longer."

You scoffed, "Yet, you cornered me. Saying you wanted to talk. Yet the only thing I got from this conversation was bloody frustration. So, say what you need, I'm sick of this already."

Draco shook his head, "I never wanted to hurt you, and... I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" You repeated with venom. "About what - ?"

"Leading you on, making you think something was there when it wasn't," Draco rambled as he listed, "keeping secrets, and storming off the way I did. I didn't want to hurt you - so, I'm sorry for that, too."

You huffed, shaking your head, "You pushed me into admitting my feelings, and then left me there. Do better, Draco."

"I can't," he whispered. "This apology is all I can offer you, because after this, we can't..." He trailed off as if the words died on his tongue. Like his throat was being constricted beyond comfort. "We can't speak again, sunshine. It's... It's for your protection."

"Against what? Your new crew?" You tossed your chin to indicate the tattoo marring his forearm's skin.

"Yes," he breathed. "If I do anything right, it'll be keeping you safe. And that, sunshine, is why I can't love you. I'm not who you need, I'm not someone who deserves someone like you. I can't... I can't love you, because it's not good for either of us. So, understand that I'm trying to keep you safe, and know that you were my greatest friend - "

"Oh, give me a break!" You snapped at him, glaring at the boy still sat against green velvet.

"It's the truth!"

"What a load, Draco! You're, what? Protecting me?"

"Yes!"

"Bullshit - years of friendship, for what? To be thrown out? Because my Mummy and Daddy won't fight with a madman?"

"Keep your voice down," Draco raged, standing to his feet to go toe-to-toe with you. "You don't know what you're saying, but you need to understand that I'm doing this for you. So, if you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from me."

You scoffed, "Easily done."

His head shook, "You're not going to forgive me, are you?"

"There's nothing to forgive," you assured as softly as you could, feeling emotion clawing at your throat. "You did no wrong, hey? You just... Couldn't love me back, could you?"

"Loving you sounds like the easiest thing I could do, but I can't. It's not that I couldn't love you, it's that I can't - I can't love you, for - "

"My own safety," you nodded, knowing what he was saying already. Tears breached your eyes, falling stoically down your cold skin. "I hope you know what you're doing, Draco..."

He shook his head, "I'm trying, sunshine. But if you knew..."

"Well, if you didn't push me away, I could've been there for you... But you decided to walk away from me," you whispered, sniffling after. "I'm sorry for how my feelings made you feel, but you were my best mate, too; and I never wanted to hurt our friendship."

"I know," he nodded.

"Good luck, Draco," you wished. "I really hope you know what you're doing."

You knew that it wasn't Draco willingly making these decisions, and that his parents worked through him. You knew he didn't want that tattoo, but that he didn't face any choices. So, when faced with a choice on whether to willingly involve you in his life or not, knowing the Death Eaters were ever present, he made the decision to keep you safe. That meant keeping you away.

And who knows, maybe after this Wizarding War was over, things could be different; yet for now, Draco chose to walk away from you, and the last of your youth was gone - swept in the wind - paving way for the last of the War to play out.

requesting rules and masterlist

Harry Potter masterlist

#harry potter #hp fic #hp fanfcition #hp fanfic #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x female reader #draco malfoy fic #draco malfoy x slytherin!reader #draco x reader #draco malfoy fanfiction

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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 320: Deku vs. Class 1-A

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Kacchan was all “fuck Deku and fuck his stupid goodbye letters, I need to speak to somebody in charge.” Endeavor was all “hello, I am Somebody In Charge.” Kacchan was all “listen up asshole, you need to let us go out and collect our wayward nerd because you stupidly left him alone with All Might and that’s a fast track to disaster right there.” Endeavor was all, “[self-incriminating silence].” Rat Principal was all, “okay sure, have fun kids.” Back in the present, class 1-A was all “hi Deku” and Deku was all “I’M FINE!!!!!” and Kacchan was all “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKING NERD” and so the kids all got ready to fight, because OF COURSE they’re gonna fight. Sorry guys, but yeah it’s happening.

Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “what’s up Deku you look like a possessed Rorschach test, so anyway how are the new quirks coming along.” Deku is all “they’re coming along like THIS” and uses Smokescreen to try and get away. Kacchan is all “PHASE ONE COMMENCE”, and Kouda, Sero, Jirou, and Ojiro leap into the fray to shower Deku with heaps of love and violence, because this is a shounen manga and kicking someone’s ass while simultaneously proclaiming your undying admiration for them is just how it’s done in these parts. The KoudaSeroOJirou squad then passes the baton to Satou, Momo, Tokoyami, Kaminari, and Shouji, who are all “fuck this mask” and do a bunch of stuff to tear Deku’s mask off because they’re the real heroes. Shouto is all “LOOK AT THE LITTLE CRYBABY, THAT’S RIGHT, GO AHEAD AND FUCKING CRY and by the way let us share your burden please,” and once again I swear this is all very deeply moving and touching within the actual context. The chapter ends with Tsuyu being all “look at me. I’m the cliffhanger now,” and damn.

lol what

I don’t think anyone was expecting that. I mean, not that I’ve got anything against Tsuyu or anything. anyways it’s a very nice cover and I love the colors and I hope this means Tsuyu’s gonna do something badass

also, “Deku vs Class A” -- pretty much the expected title, but it’s still got me hyped nonetheless fuck yeah let’s go

IIDA ANGST

Iida Tenya really said “fuck the uniform code, we’re leaving the helmet at home today.” sorry kids, prim and proper C-3PO Comic Relief Iida has left the building. can I interest you in some Serious Iida

meanwhile Kacchan is all “sup Deku, I heard you got a few more quirks, and might I just add that you look like the Snyder Cut of Detective Pikachu”

“you look like a tarred and feathered squid” okay easy there Kacchan. I mean it’s all true of course, but still

“thank you all for coming” OH EXCUSE ME SON, WERE YOU PLANNING ON GOING SOMEWHERE. LET’S JUST SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT

yep and there’s Smokescreen, right on cue

okay Horikoshi, I leave it in your hands. hopefully you can come up with some more interesting combos than my dumbass predictions lol

LOL THIS ISN’T A COMBO AT ALL

“explosions solve everything” -- Horikoshi Kouhei, 2021. something something shockwave, something something handwave ta-da no more smoke. lol okay then

oh, ouch

he would know, wouldn’t he. nice application of one of your many hard-earned life lessons, Kacchan

by the way you guys, just as an experiment, I’m going to try to anticipate some of the discourse this week in the hopes of preemptively addressing it and thus saving myself some time later on lol. so here’s our first test run!

ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “oh my god what a fucking hypocrite can you believe this fucking guy”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: it’s precisely because Kacchan has been in this exact situation himself that he’s able to recognize his past self in Deku now and call him out on it. just because it took him sixteen years to get it through his head that he can’t accomplish every single thing completely by himself doesn’t mean Deku has to go down that same path. so yeah, maybe it is a bit hypocritical, but if you insist that the only people qualified to call out stupid shit are people who have never done a single stupid thing in their own lives, then what you’re basically saying is that absolutely no one on earth is qualified lol. so yeah, I’d have to disagree

and one last unrelated note, I’m willing to bet the whole “you didn’t even say a word before you ran off” thing is possibly the first thing Kacchan’s said in this whole encounter that actually does stem from genuine hurt rather than his tough-love-harsh-truths strategy. I’M TAKING NOTES HERE HORIKOSHI. at this rate it’ll take twice as many chapters as DvK2 for them to hash out all the stuff between them, geez

anyway so I gotta say, so far Deku vs. Class A is looking an awful lot like a DvK3 wearing a hat, trenchcoat, and sunglasses lol

OH SHIT I TAKE IT BACK??

FUCK YEAH, YOU GO KOUDA. and I guess he ditched his mask as well! excellent

so far the strategy here seems to be “Kacchan says all the mean tough love shit while the rest of 1-A balances it out with warmth and kindness”, which actually works pretty well imo. Deku is one of those people that doesn’t usually need a Kacchan Translator anyway, but just in case, this is very efficient

mm but of course Deku is slingshotting himself away with Blackwhip. all right then, who’s up next!

FUCK YEAH

okay but seriously you guys, what is going on with Sero’s face in these last couple of chapters though, it’s really starting to unnerve me. is he trying to emulate Kacchan’s whole asymmetrical facial expressions thing?

in fact let me just quickly hit pause here because,

ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “SERO IS TOGA??!”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: no

oh snap looks like Jirou’s getting in on the action too!

poor Jirou probably spent days racking her brain trying to think of something she could bond with Deku over. is Horikoshi doing these in reverse order of the kids who have had the most interaction with him? that would explain why poor Kouda didn’t get a flashback lol

omg. well that answers that

so by my count, Satou and Hagakure are the only ones remaining in this first tier of kids who Still Appreciate Midoriya even though they’ve barely ever spoken two words to him in their lives lol. so they’ll probably be next, and then we’ll get to the next tier of kids who are pretty good friends with him but not quite besties. and then we’ll move on to the IidaRokiRaka trio, and then lastly, to the boy who is in a tier all his own

BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

and by “sponsor” I mean the Dekuangst. just in case that wasn’t clear. indeed, many thanks to the Dekuangst for making this all possible

(ETA: okay so this whole “take me away” line seemed pretty weird to me, and sure enough it’s yet another one of those cases where only the verb is specified, and the object is left to the reader’s interpretation. so even though the translation says “take me away”, I’m pretty sure that what Deku’s actually saying is “take you away” -- as in, his loved ones will be taken away by AFO.

and that is literally the way he phrases it, though -- the verb used is “奪う” (ubau), meaning “to snatch away; to dispossess; to steal.” which, god, that hurts my whole goddamn heart though, because for him to say it like that?? not “AFO will kill you”, but “AFO will take you away from me.” he can’t have nice things anymore because of AFO. he can’t be around the people he loves because AFO will hurt them. he can’t have happiness because AFO will take it away from him. anyway so where the fuck is AFO right now, motherfucker I just want to talk.)

by the way can Ojiro just extend his tail to whatever fucking length he wants or what because it’s like twelve feet long in this panel lol

WOOO FUCK YEAH TOKOYAMI

YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!! BUT WHERE’S YOUR FLASHBACK? YOU’VE HAD A BUNCH OF INTERACTIONS WITH HIM, THAT’S NOT FAIR

okay so now Satou’s stepping in which is back to my anticipated order, so maybe Toko will finish his little moment afterward

dskfjfkk

“REMEMBER THAT TIME DEKU BORROWED SATOU’S FOOD COLORING” Horikoshi says, sweating. “AND REMEMBER THAT TIME HE, UM, SMILED IN HAGAKURE’S GENERAL DIRECTION”

actually I am curious about what Hagakure’s part will be because, you know, the whole traitor thing lol

(ETA: funny how we just skipped right over it huh. can we get a traitor reveal countdown started here? definitely getting close to that time.)

whoa lol wtf

MOMO??? THIS HAS MOMO WRITTEN ALL OVER IT DAMMIT

-- SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK

“SORRY MIDORIYA-SAN, I LEFT MY FUCKING CHILL AT HOME IN THE LOCKER NEXT TO IIDA’S HELMET” holy shit lmao

and here I thought she’d get a flashback to her time on the Baku Rescue Squad or something. but nope, no flashbacks from Momo, only terrifying sci-fi torture devices

poor Dark Shadow is such a trooper omg

“why am I the only one who has to make prolonged contact with his smelly disgusting self” taking one for the team there DS

FUCK YEAH KAMINARI NO JUTSU

THE PRICKLY BASTARD WHISPERER STRIKES AGAIN!! don’t suppose you brought any clean clothes you could sneakily force him into huh Kami

okay here we go, so now Shouji and Tokoyami are joining forces

um excuse me this is fucking awesome

wonder how he’ll break free? don’t think he’ll reveal Fa Jin until the end of the chapter, so maybe Air Force or something? idk

TOKO GETS AN EXTENDED MOMENT BECAUSE HE IS A TIER TWO PATREON REWARD LEVEL FRIEND YAY

WHY IS MOMO MAKING THIS FACE LOL YOUR THING WAS WAY WORSE

and Shouji just casually hitting him with what is easily the best comment from anyone yet. too bad Deku’s just gonna ignore it. you deserve better Shouji

KAMINARI OMFG

it only just occurred to me that Kami is currently trapped inside Dark Shadow right along with him lmao omg. realest one in the entirety of BnHA, right here. we will never forget your sacrifice

aaaaaaand Deku’s yeeting himself

do you really hate the thought of taking a bath that much my dude

oh shit the mask!!

-- oh shit the feels

o(TヘTo)

fuck. and I mean, we knew he was crying, that was a done deal. but still, to see him in this much pain is just...

and the acknowledgement that he knows they’re worried about him, but that it doesn’t change his mind one bit. this, right here, is why they have to be a bit harsh with him, you guys. because they’re up against the full, unbridled stubbornness of Midoriya fucking Izuku, and if they don’t match that stubbornness with an equal stubbornness of their own, they basically don’t stand a chance

(ETA: quick note that there is apparently another mistranslation here -- rather than saying that his friends are oblivious to the danger, what Deku is actually saying is that none of his friends have activated his Danger Sense once throughout this entire fight. which I had been wondering about, and it turns out Horikoshi actually confirmed it. so basically none of the kids bears any ill intent toward him, and there’s literal proof right there.

incidentally, as @class1akids pointed out, this also casts an interesting light on this chapter in terms of who hasn’t fought Deku yet. not to play the Hagakure Traitor Music for the billionth time you guys, but I’M JUST SAYING lol.)

anyway, but the good news is that they all seem to understand that. and the even better news is that we have reached the tier 3 friends!!

“OR ELSE” lol, great to see Shouto wielding his friendship just as aggressively as Deku once did towards him. I do love a good role reversal

p.s., ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “why is Shouto being so cruel to Deku can’t he see how hard this is on him”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: this is a callback to the classic “even heroes cry when they have to” Shouto line from chapter 137. Shouto is clearly following Kacchan’s lead here and going for the more ruthless approach, knowing that the gentle approach isn’t getting through to him (if anything it’s only making him more stubborn as we saw on the previous page). basically it’s his way of pointing out that even heroes are still only human, and so is Deku last time he checked

ah okay, and there Tsuyu is at last

okay real talk, I get why Tsuyu is included in the tier 3 friends, because she was one of the first people to team up with Deku going all the way back to USJ. but that said, this probably would have had more impact if their most recent interaction hadn’t been like 150 chapters ago

but anyway though it’s still a good speech. maybe not quite a cliffhanger-level speech, but a good speech nonetheless. in a way though, I’m glad to see that Horikoshi seemingly didn’t give a fuck whether he ended this on an actual cliffhanger or not for once

and that “headed toward the climax” part has me excited too, ngl. because if we really are getting to the so-called climax this soon, that makes me even more certain that there is indeed a DvK3 in the forecast. so I presume that next week (or I guess two weeks from now) will be the tier 3s along with the remaining tier 2s like Kirishima and Aoyama

and then after that, well... [orange and green banners being hoisted] [sound of screeching airhorns and vuvuzelas in the distance] [sound of All Might approaching in his car which I didn’t notice until I looked back at this page a second time whoops] THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE DENIED

#bnha 320 #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #asui tsuyu #tokoyami fumikage #kaminari denki #todoroki shouto #class 1-a #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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lydias--stiles · 3 years

Text

THE MANY CRUSHES OF LUKE PATTERSON... AND THE ONE THAT STUCK

💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌

1982

Luke Patterson's first crush ever was Haley Martin. He adored the colour of her hair — like the clementines his mom bought — and the way she finger-painted, enough for his four year old eyes to stare at her in awe.

He watched her make mud pies in the sandbox from the monkey bars, only to ruin them to get a rise out of her. He couldn't understand why she didn't like him the way he did, so he nagged his mom to explain.

"Teasing girls should be fun for them too, sweetheart," she soothed. "This Haley clearly didn't like it."

He blinked. "Huh?"

Her smile stayed warm, similar to hot chocolate and whenever grandpa conjured candies from behind his ear. "Why don't you share your grapes with her tomorrow? I'm sure she'll like that."

His nose scrunched up. "Why?"

"Because it's sweet, Luke."

"I don't get that," he shrugged. "But I'll try."

The next day, he sat beside her during storybook time and that seemed to help a little already. By the time it was lunch, her mood was lifted, which excited him too, and urged him to offer the grapes.

It earned him a featherlight kiss on the cheek.

Luke squeaked in surprise, flushing a firetruck red, to which she giggled and plopped another grape in her mouth.

Three days later, his crush was gone from his mind and he began sharing his grapes with his new friend Reginald instead.

1986

"Can you ask Jessica what she thinks of me?" Luke hurriedly whispered, eyes flickering between Reggie and the girl from across the courtyard.

Normally, Luke Patterson exuded confidence. The resident class clown, always opening his jaw to react to the teacher without raising his hand, catching fights with stupid classmates, sneaking into dad's stationwagon to create mixtapes.

Fearlessness was his freaking middle name. (It was actually Beck, but whatever. He wished it was something cool like Duran Duran though.)

But when it came to girls... he got so nervous. Because they were girls! He didn't understand them! They hated rambunctious boys and only listened to stupid pop music and blabbered about how they stole makeup from their sisters.

Jessica, however, somehow made his heart flutter and his stomach twist up. She just looked cool in her dungarees and she had a pretty smile and she didn't wear that overwhelming, sugary perfume that was now popular.

Reggie snickered, in the way only eight year old boys could. "You liiiiiiike her!"

"No!" He scowled. "I–I'm just curious."

"Sure," he drawled, but then shrugged in agreement, the oversized leather jacket rustling on his shoulders. He stole it from his older brother after he saw him kissing (!!!) some girl and figured it held some magic to impress the ladies with.

"Just do it!"

With a dramatic flourish, the boy left their hiding spot, Luke lurking around the corner of the alcove to watch. Jessica looked up from her hard work of creating friendship bracelets and smiled at Reggie.

Oh, gosh. She was pretty.

A minute later, a sheepish Reg slowly crawled back to him, cheeks red and fiddling with the zipper of his jacket.

Luke grabbed his shoulders, urgent. "What did she say?"

"Uh... well..."

"C'mon, dude!"

Reggie sighed. "She... likes me, buddy. Sorry."

His hopeful face crashed into one of devestation, quickly covering it up with a laugh and a squeeze of the shoulder. Oh, man, what would Steven Tyler do?

"That– that's dope!"

In the end, Reggie and Jessica were boyfriend and girlfriend for a week while he wrote an angry poem about how stupid dungarees were.

Huh... it was surprisingly good.

1988

"Hey, Luke," Gwenn greeted, shy, tucking her hands in her Camp Wacky Rocka hoodie. "I really liked that song you made about your guitar."

Jumping from the tree branch to the ground, Luke dazzled her with an appreciative smile. From above, Reggie and their new friend Alex watched on curiously.

"Thanks!"

Who would've thought that summer camp would be the first time he made a real, girl friend! Gwenn was super cool and she played the saxophone and she liked Joan Jett and her hair was all curly and big and it reminded him of pretty clouds.

Looking over her shoulder, he noticed a gaggle of girls staring at them. Like they were waiting.

Gwenn stared at him. "Can you close your eyes?"

He frowned. "Why?"

"Just 'cause."

Whatever. Maybe she wanted to show him something cool and would stick it in his hand. Complying, he closed his eyes and impatiently waited, bouncing on his heels.

"So?"

Suddenly, he felt a light, warm touch on his mouth and — oh! She was kissing him!

Luke staggered back in surprise, gawking at a blushing Gwenn as she squeaked a sorry and ran back to the now giggling and screeching girls. They ran away like a flock of birds.

It was a dare! His first kiss, stolen by a dare!

His boys jumped down beside him, awed.

Reggie hollered. "You kissed Gwenn!"

"I don't get it," Alex muttered.

Luke's face twisted up in a sour expression. Camp Wacky Rocka should be all about the music and becoming legends and Gwenn ruined it!

He stuck his tongue out. "Whatever. Let's go to the mess hall!"

1989

When Luke turned eleven, he kissed someone for real.

His birthday party was at the arcade, loud chatter and robotic sounds clashing together in an amazing cacophony. His parents hated the place, which is why Luke loved it.

Of the twenty guests, Yasmine clapped the loudest after he finished his song with the boys — Math Is For Losers! — and grabbed his hand as they walked to a duel game.

Luke felt fuckin' giddy the entire time. (Freakin' in front of his parents, fuckin' with friends.) The swoop in his stomach, his cheeks stretched into a wide beam.

Freshly eleven and the king of the arcade, he boldly asked if he could kiss her.

She smiled, her purple headband glittering in the neon lights, and nodded.

It was short and warm and her lips tasted like pink lemonade and sour gummies and it gave him an entirely new buzz. It was exciting.

He kissed her a couple more times the days after, eager and curious, until she claimed she was now only interested in twelve year old boys.

Since Luke now held the record of most kisses between him, Alex and Reggie, he wasn't too bothered by it. They shook hands, complimented each other on the kissing, and that was that.

1992

"Are you or are you not my boyfriend?" Olivia bit, crossing her arms.

Luke sighed, lazy gaze drifting from her to his band waiting by their bikes. Damn, he thought having a girlfriend would be way easier. Why was she so tense?

"I am," he said. "Why do you think I'm not?"

"Because you ignore me, like, all the time!" Pouting, she fiddled with the hem of her tartan skirt. "And now you're going to be with your band!"

He shrugged. "You can come with us and listen, if you want."

Luke met Olivia this year as deskmates in French class. Her raven hair was long and thick and her lips were all shiny from lip gloss and maybe he got a little cocky, thinking he could be dating the hottest girl of freshman year, so he naturally asked her out.

Maybe he should've considered beforehand whether they had anything in common, but he'd always been the overzealous type. And besides... she was a good kisser.

She scoffed. "That's not any better. Whatever. I'll just hang with Tina and Priscilla then. Laters!"

Plopping a kiss on his lips, she turned around and stalked to her whispering friends. Luke puffed, adjusted the beanie and made his way to the boys.

Girls were confusing.

"I bet dating boys is easier," Alex mused. "Like, equally terrifying, but also... easier. I think. Maybe."

Bobby laughed. "How's the girlfriend, Luke?"

"Ha ha," he deadpanned. "Let's go. I got this new song, Crooked Teeth, and it's a fucking banger!"

Olivia broke up with him after Sunset Curve's first, official gig at the arcade with the explanation that he loved music more than her. He never loved her to begin with, so maybe that was the problem.

She made out with Bobby that same night.

Holy shit, man. He supposed that bitter feeling at the sight of them tasted like rock 'n roll, the one thing he actually craved.

What a funny, funny feeling. (He wrote a hell of a lot of songs about it after. He never quite looked at Bobby the same way either.)

1995

"Hey, Maisie." Leaning against the locker beside the girl, he shot her a million dollar smile. "You comin' to our gig tonight? It's at The Orpheum."

Maisie was fucking awesome. Always in short, flowery dresses and fishnet tights and thick eyeliner like a rockstar, always listening to something new on her walkman. She came from a rich family, but that didn't hinder them from becoming friends.

Her jaw fell slack in awe, him instantly gaining more confidence. Ducking his head to meet her eye, he leaned a little closer. He knew damn well what he was doing, and he got a thrill every time it worked.

"Really?" She gasped. "That's awesome! I'll so be there!"

"Sweet," he grinned. "And stay after too."

A brow quirked up, intrigued. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Just 'cause."

"Right," she drawled. "Nothing is 'just because' with you, Luke."

"And that's why you gotta stay," he teased, nudging her shoe with his. "To find out."

If they rocked that gig and he felt like a fucking legend, he hoped it would end with the two of them hooking up. He wasn't interested in dating — having learned his lesson after Olivia — and he knew she wasn't either, but she was fun.

And that was the most important to him: to have fucking fun. Luke Patterson was here for a good time, not a long time.

And if nothing happened between him and Maisie, then he'd still feel like a legend. In a couple of hours, he was going to play at The Orpheum! How gnarly was that?!

2022

Twenty-seven years later, Luke was still seventeen years old. While he preferred to not question the science behind ghostly activities — he flunked physics anyway — he was happy that he froze at this age.

Because Julie was seventeen, too.

And, man. He was madly in love with her.

He loved everything, from the babyhairs curling around her ears, to her voice and compassionate soul, to her beautiful smile, all the way to her cute, doodled sneakers.

Her epic music taste, her snark, the way she always found his gaze, the way she finished his lyrics, the way she always knew what to say to make him feel better.

His heart melted to a flickering candle whenever she hugged him, a raging wildfire erupting between every kiss. He was a fool for her.

"Stop moving," she giggled, one hand coming up to hold his chin.

He grinned, "Sorry, Jules."

Shifting closer, she dabbled more glitter on his cheeks. They were playing at a black-light club tonight, so Julie and Flynn bought all the glow in the dark makeup available at the store for the occasion.

They looked ridiculous in daylight, Julie's weirdly pink lipstick claiming all his attention, but he knew they'd look fucking cool once the lights went down.

"You want to watch a movie after the gig?" she whispered.

Luke rolled his eyes, playful. "You're gonna fall asleep."

"Yeah." With a bashful tilt of the shoulder, she leaned in closer. "But then you'll be with me."

"Julie! How scandalous," he teased, though his chest swelled at the thought of having some alone time, some cuddle time, with Julie.

"So?"

Murmuring a yes, he closed the little distance to kiss her, sealing the deal, only for her to chase after him — an attempt to wipe the lipstick stain off his lips.

"Nah, keep it." A smirk grew. "So the people know."

She tsked. "Idiot."

"You like it."

"I'm still taking it off though, seeing as you're supposed to be a hologram," she pointed out. "But... you can kiss my lipstick away after the show."

He sighed, dreamy. "I love you."

Finishing his glitter and removing the stain, she dazzled him with a satisfied smile. "Love you too."

She rose up from the couch and went to search for Reggie, the boy likely with Carlos. For a moment, Luke was alone in the studio, allowing himself to sink into that warm, fuzzy feeling.

No matter how many blunders he went through with girls — Haley, Jessica, Gwenn, Yasmine, Olivia, Maisie — they all prepared him, in one way or the other, for Julie.

To not only recognise when an awesome girl was standing right in front of him, but also how to treat her — because Julie Molina deserved the fucking world.

Even if that world now included the supernatural.

Whatever. They were all a little crazy.

💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌

@bluefirewrites @blush-and-books @pink-flame @ourstarscollided @constantly-singing @unsaid-emily @willexx

#juke #jatp fanfiction #julie and the phantoms

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rosiehunterwolf · 3 years

Text

There's Sand Everywhere!

(quick shoutout to @fires-of-ninjago for the title idea and inspiration for this- you remember that ask game where people suggested titles for fics and you had to come up with a story to go along with it? Well, he sent in this title, and I came up with this, and liked it so much that I screenshotted it and- here we are!)

Prompts: Summer and Heist

Word Count: 7,922

Characters: The whole gang (including Pixal) :)

Timeline: Between seasons 12 and 13

Trigger Warnings: none (holy shit that's never happened before-)

Summary: It was just supposed to be a day off. A simple beach day. But when your family consists of six ninja and a samurai, including a nindroid convinced he’s a detective, his reluctant sidekick, an aquaphobe, a girl who can command the sea, an unassuming teen who seems to attract every animal he crosses paths with, and a bunch of argumentative idiots, nothing is ever that easy.

Read on FFN.net

Read on Ao3

Tumblr work under the cut

“We,” Kai proclaimed, surveying the room, “Need a day off.”

Lloyd shrieked at the fire ninja’s sudden outburst, falling out of his chair. Jay broke into snickers, and Lloyd shot him a glare.

“Kai,” Zane sighed, “get off the table.”

Kai stuck his tongue out at the nindroid, but hopped down, anyway. “Look at you guys!” Kai waved his hands at the group for emphasis. Papers fluttered to the ground where Lloyd had knocked them in his fall, Jay and Nya were sitting on the ground, surrounded by stacks of books tall enough to be mistaken for some kind of fort, Pixal was gathering some of the papers that had gone everywhere, while Cole and Zane had only just paused in their task of boxing up and carrying crates to the far side of the room. “Filing documents and organizing? Boooring.”

“Tasks which you’ve been a big help with, by the way,” Lloyd grumbled, as Cole offered him a hand and pulled him to his feet. He turned back to the desk, shuffling papers off of the keyboard of his laptop, the screen filled with lines of script and dozens of files that made Kai's brain hurt just to look at.

Nya pushed her reading glasses up her nose. “Jay and I technically aren’t working. We chose to do this of our own free will.”

Kai rolled his eyes at her. “What kind of psychopaths read for fun?”

Jay kicked his leg out, aiming for Kai’s ankle, but Cole quickly stepped between them, stopping the conflict before it could escalate into anything worse.

“We’re not reading them, we’re sorting them in order from most potentially useful to least so. They’re mechanics and engineering books. You never know when they might come in handy in a pinch.”

“Oh, because that’s so much more interesting. If you guys wanna spend all your free time geeking out, fine, what do I care. But what about the rest of you? C’mon, Lloydster. You don’t really wanna spend your entire day doing this,” he gestured at the laptop and paper-strewn desk- “do you?”

“It’s not about whether or not I want to. This stuff is important, Kai.”

“Lloyd’s right,” Zane agreed. “With all the crazy missions we’ve been on lately, we’ve neglected all our paperwork, and taking care of the Monastery.”

“It’s because we’ve been gone so long that we need a break!” Kai argued. “We just got done saving the entire city from an evil video game AI! If that’s not worth celebrating, I don’t know what is.”

“Technically,” Nya remarked, not even glancing up from the book she was skimming, “That was Jay who did that.”

Kai spluttered, ignoring the smug look on Jay’s face. “Okay, yeah, but we helped! And what about Aspheera? Or the Never Realm? That was all of us. And we didn’t have time to properly recuperate from that before we got launched right into Prime Empire!”

Pixal’s brow furrowed. “Y’know, he has a point…”

A frown flitted across Zane’s face. “I suppose we have been working for a long time…”

“That’s what I’ve been saying! Come on, let’s do something fun.”

“Not video games,” Cole groaned. “Jay and I spent the last three days playing a Lava Zombies tournament, and I’m all gamed-out.”

“No, let’s actually go somewhere. Like the-”

“The library!” Jay pitched.

“Or the museum!” Zane suggested.

“No!” Kai snapped. “Man, you guys are so lame. I meant somewhere fun. We should go to-”

“The beach!” Nya cried suddenly, standing up so quickly that she sent a pile of books toppling over. “Brilliant idea, Kai!”

“Wait, no,” he yelped. “That’s not what I was going to-”

But no one heard him. They were already scrambling to their feet, murmuring excitedly to one another.

“Guys, wait!” he cried. “Why would you want to go to the beach? It’s all sandy, and wet, and-”

“Don’t worry, Kai,” Nya giggled, “we won’t let the ocean hurt you.”

“That’s not-” he felt himself turning red as the others laughed. “That’s not what I meant! I just thought… wouldn’t laser tag or something be a lot more fun?”

The others glanced at each other, uncertain. Zane stepped forward. “Let’s take a vote. All in favor of laser tag, raise your hands.”

Kai lifted his hand, but no one else did. He scowled at them.

“And all in favor of the beach?”

Six hands went up.

“Seems like we have a clear winner. Let’s get going, shall we?”

---

“Do you have the towels?”

“All here!”

“What about the sunscreen?”

“Hold on- Jay, did you grab the sunscreen?”

“What?”

Lloyd cupped his hands around his mouth, yelling louder. “Did you grab the sunscreen?”

“Oh yeah, it’s here! Wait, do you have my-”

“Your what?” Lloyd called, walking over to him, passing Pixal and Zane as they came out of the kitchen. The female nindroid sighed.

“Can’t anything get done around here without everyone making such a racket?”

“Nope,” Nya elbowed her playfully. “When you’ve been with these idiots as long as I have, you get used to it.”

Pixal’s eyes widened. “I can’t imagine ever being used to all this.”

Nya smiled. “Did I mention I’m slightly deaf?”

“We finished making the picnic,” Zane told her, holding out the basket he was carrying. “Is everyone ready to go?”

Nya eyed the guys, who were running around the Monastery, barely avoiding tripping over one another. “‘Ready’ is an overstatement.”

“Hold your horses, we’re almost done,” Cole grunted, heaving the large beach bag over to them. “Have a little faith in us, Nya.”

Nya put her hand on her hip, waiting- and a second later, there was a crashing sound followed by an angry chorus of yells from Kai, Lloyd, and Jay.

Cole grimaced, rubbing the back of his head. “Okay, maybe you’re right to not have any faith in us.”

---

After an intense, fifteen-minute argument about what mode of transportation they would take, they ended up deciding on the city bus, and finally, finally got out the door. The bus ride went off without a hitch, for once, (except for a brief panic about not having the proper change for the bus fare, but luckily Zane had a few extra dollars on him), and before Nya knew it, they were staking out an area on Ninjago City beach. She was beginning to think this could actually work out.

Maybe.

“Check out my abs, dude.”

“They’re the same as last time.”

“Are not! I’m way more shredded than last time we went swimming.”

“Okay, that’s just a straight-up lie. I saw you sneak that extra piece of pie last night.”

“You better not be disrespecting my muscles, Flat Stanley.”

“Hey! I’m way more muscly than I used to be.”

“Are you kidding? We call you ‘green bean’ for a reason, and it’s not just because you’re the green ninja. You’re a twig!”

“I’m a twig? Have you seen Jay?”

“Hey, don’t rope me into this, green machine, and, for your information, I weigh a whole fifteen pounds more than you!”

“Yeah, well, you’re also two years older than me!”

“I think the lesson we need to learn here is that neither of you have abs anywhere near as pronounced as mine-”

Zane sighed, rolling his eyes. “Here, guys,” he held out a pouch to the group, “this is a waterproof pouch, you can store all your valuables in here.”

They quickly filled the pouch with phones, watches, and wallets. However, as Lloyd pulled back, he tripped over Jay’s foot, and half the guys collapsed into a pile, groaning.

“Jay! Get your foot out of my face!”

“Right after you get your elbow out of my ribs!”

Nya turned away from them, shaking her head. Glancing at Pixal, she asked, “Wanna help me get set up?”

The nindroid nodded, and they pulled the large picnic blanket out of the bag, unfolding it to lay it across the sand.

“Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon,” Kai cried, “You get back here right this instant!”

Nya looked up from the blanket to see Kai running through the sand after Lloyd, his feet sinking into the sand with each step, making it difficult for him to retain his balance. He waved a bottle of sunscreen at the green ninja. “It’s sunny out today! And you know how easily you burn!”

“No way!” Lloyd whined. “You always make me stay out of the water for at least twenty minutes to let it set, and it’s way too hot for me to wait that long! I wanna go swimming now.”

Kai lunged for him, and Lloyd yelped, barely dodging out of the way.

“Over here, Lloyd!” Jay cried, already wading into the shallows of the ocean. “He won’t follow you into the water!”

Lloyd hurried after him, splashing up water as he went, accidentally splattering Kai and causing the red ninja to flinch back with a yelp. Sure enough, he froze at the water’s edge, glaring at Jay and Lloyd, where they stood, only about ten feet away, laughing at him.

Zane rubbed a hand over his face, sighing. “They’re both going to get skin cancer, aren’t they?”

“At the very least, they’re going to be bright red tomatoes,” Cole laughed. “Oh, it’s going to be a blast when they take showers.”

Zane stared at him, horrified. “Please don’t let Jay do that again. He had the worst blisters, last time-”

Cole held up his hands. “It was a joke, Zane! A joke!”

Zane narrowed his eyes and didn’t reply.

Nya laughed, grabbing Pixal’s hand. “Come on. Wanna go bodyboarding with me?”

Pixal glanced at her. “I don’t know how.”

“That’s fine.” Nya stepped on the board, flipping it up into her hand and handing it to Pixal, before grabbing a second one for herself. “I can teach you!”

“Thanks, Nya.”

As they walked down towards the shore, they passed Kai and Cole, who had finally managed to get Jay and Lloyd out of the water. Cole had his arms locked around Jay, preventing him from running away as Kai slathered sunscreen across his face. Lloyd was sitting in the sand beside him, pouting, his face already smeared in white.

Nya grinned at him. “Can you guys handle yourselves for twenty minutes if Pix and I go out bodyboarding?”

Lloyd stuck his tongue out at her, and Kai rolled his eyes. “We’ll be fine, Nya. I think you’re forgetting we save the city on a regular basis? We’re perfectly capable.”

Nya put a hand near Pixal’s ear, whispering loudly into it. “Betcha anything the beach will be on fire by the time we get back.”

The two ran off, giggling at the sight of Kai’s smoldering glare, before he could set them on fire.

---

To Kai’s credit, he did not set the beach on fire, or anything, for that matter, but when Nya and Pixal returned, they found him and Cole shoveling sand onto Zane, who was chest-deep by this point.

“Zane!” Pixal exclaimed. “Are you alright?”

“When Kai told me he had something fun to show me, this wasn’t quite what I had imagined.”

“Aww, come on Zane!” Kai grinned. “I’m having a great time.”

Pixal shook her head, and stepped forward, grabbing Zane’s hand and pulling him up, sending sand cascading down everywhere. Cole and Kai groaned.

“Aww, come on, Pix, that took forever!” Cole muttered.

“Yeah, we were gonna shape it into a mermaid tail. Don’t you know how funny that would’ve been?”

“Humor is subjective.” Zane rubbed at his wrists. “Augh, now I’m going to have sand in my gears for weeks.” Shooting a glare at Kai, he added, “I’ll remember this the next time you ditch your swimming lessons.”

“Hey!” Kai yelped. “That’s totally different! Sand is warm, and solid, and most importantly, not dangerous!”

“You could suffocate,” Zane pointed out.

Kai scowled. “You’re a nindroid, you wouldn’t have suffocated.”

“You’re related to an elemental master of water. You won’t drown.”

“Being related to a master of water and being a master of water are two very different things! I control fire, not water, I can’t do anything to protect myself.”

Cole rolled his eyes. “You’re so lame. Remind me again why we brought our friend with aquaphobia to the beach?”

“Technically,” Zane said, raising a finger, “the word you’re looking for is thalassophobia. Kai doesn’t fear water in general, only large bodies, such as-”

“It was his idea,” Nya interrupted. “If it weren’t for him, we’d still be at the Monastery, filing papers.”

“I never suggested the beach!” Kai snapped. “That was your idea!”

“Yeah, well, your suggestions were lame. The beach was the obvious choice.”

“Hey,” Pixal interjected, suddenly realizing they were missing a couple of people. “Where are Jay and Lloyd?”

Cole sighed, pointing up towards their stuff, where Jay and Lloyd were struggling with a large, yellow duck inflatable that was very much not inflated at the moment. Jay had his lips around the mouthpiece, his face red.

“Blow harder, Jay,” Lloyd insisted, hovering by his side. “You’re hardly doing anything!”

Jay pulled his head back, breathing out heavily as the redness faded from his cheeks. “I’d like to see you do better! You’d probably pass out after a minute.”

“Would not!” Lloyd snatched the floaty away from him, blowing hard into the mouthpiece, putting even less air into the floaty than Jay had. His face reddened as he huffed desperately, although he still wasn’t making much progress. After a few moments, Jay pulled it away from him.

“Okay, that’s enough. I don’t want you to actually pass out.”

Lloyd glared at him, panting. “I wasn’t… going to… pass out.”

Jay sighed, grabbing the inflatable and staring at what looked to be the eyes and a very flat, crumpled-looking beak. “At this rate, we’re never going to get Mr. Quackington blown up.”

Lloyd’s nose wrinkled. “Mr. Quackington?”

Jay blinked at him. “Yeah, that’s his name.”

“No, it’s not! His name is Mr. Waddles!”

“Mr. Waddles? What kind of juvenile name is that?”

“Oh, like Mr. Quackington is any better!”

“It is! It’s loads better!”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Is so!”

“It’s not!” Lloyd snapped, green energy sparking between his fingers. Jay glanced down at them thoughtfully. “Hey, what if…”

Lloyd was evidently catching on to Jay’s train of thought, his eyes lighting up. “We can use my powers to inflate Mr. Waddles!”

Jay narrowed his eyes. “Quackington.”

Lloyd bared his teeth, the small fangs glinting. “Waddles.”

Jay sighed. “Okay, whatever. We can use your powers to inflate Mr. Waddles.”

Lloyd grinned widely, whether about the promise of getting his inflated duck or having won the name debate with Jay, Pixal couldn’t tell. He held up a hand and formed a basketball-sized sphere of green energy. Jay’s eyes widened, and he held the mouthpiece up to the energy. Lloyd channeled it inside, watching with glee as the duck puffed up, the yellow plastic slowly tinging green, making the duck look like he was about to be sick.

Zane took a step forward, holding his hand out. “Lloyd, wait-”

There was a sharp snapping noise as the floaty popped, and Lloyd and Jay cried out in horror as the yellow pieces of plastic fluttered to the ground. Lloyd fell to his knees, gripping the busted plastic and wailing, and Jay landed next to him, crying, “No! Mr. Waddles, you were so young!”

“I can’t believe he’s really gone,” Lloyd sniffed. “He was my best friend in the whole world.”

Kai threw up his hands. “Great. You spend the last several years of your life looking out for him only to get replaced by his inflatable plastic duck.”

“Oookay,” Nya said, walking over to Jay and Lloyd and ushering them towards the picnic blanket. “Someone’s obviously been out in the sun too long. Go sit under the umbrella and let’s have something to eat.”

“Good idea,” Zane agreed. “I’m sure we’re all getting hungry. Jay, could you grab the picnic basket? It’s right behind you.”

The lightning ninja grabbed the basket, peering inside briefly as he carried it towards them. “I hope you brought the Pringles. I could really go for some of those right now- augh!”

Before anyone could stop him, Jay was falling to the ground, the basket flying out of his hands and landing sideways in the sand.

“Jay!” Kai cried. “Look what you’ve done to our picnic!”

“Hey! That was totally your fault! Why did you leave your shoes right in the middle of the sand, perfectly positioned for someone to trip over?”

“Why were you clumsy enough to get in the way of my shoes?”

“Guys, guys, it’s okay,” Zane assured. Walking over, he carefully lifted the basket out of the sand. “I’m sure it’s still salvageable.”

“Yeah, but now all our food is going to taste like sand,” Lloyd moaned.

“Lloyd, the food barely touched the sand,” Nya pointed out.

“Doesn’t matter. Every time you go to the beach, if the food gets even remotely close to the sand, it always gets sand in it. Every time. It’s one of the great mysteries of the universe.”

“Well, I think you’ll survive,” she said, passing Lloyd a sandwich and a bag of pretzels. Lloyd took them, but narrowed his eyes.

“Brings a whole new meaning to the word ‘sandwich.’”

“Just eat your food, mister.”

Lloyd shot her a glare, but grudgingly obliged. As Pixal bit into her own sandwich, she realized Lloyd was right, she could feel granules of sand between her teeth as she chewed.

“Hey… at least it adds a little crunch, right?” Cole grinned.

Kai grimaced. “Next time, I elect we don’t let Jay anywhere near the picnic basket.”

Jay chucked a grape at him, but Kai turned at the last second, catching it in his mouth. “Ha!” His gleeful expression faded as he caught sight of something behind Jay. “Um, Lloyd, you have someone you wanna introduce us to?”

The group turned to see a seagull had approached them, tilting its head where it stood only a couple feet away from Lloyd. The green ninja was staring at the bird with wide eyes, an awed expression on his face.

“Lloyd,” Nya sighed, “please don’t tell me you fed it.”

“He’s not an it,” Lloyd snapped. “His name is Scully.”

“Great.” Nya rubbed her hands over her face. “We’re already into name territory.”

“Scully?” Kai’s nose wrinkled. “Isn’t that the name of the seagull from The Little Mermaid?”

“No, that’s Scuttle,” Lloyd sniffed. “They’re completely different.”

“Lloyd,” Pixal scolded, reaching for Lloyd’s wrist just as he tossed another chunk of his sandwich at the seagull, “Feeding wildlife is not a good idea, it can be dangerous-”

Lloyd shrieked suddenly as the bird launched itself at Lloyd’s face. He scrambled to his feet, screaming, and Kai lunged forward, pushing the others out of the way. “Move, move!”

“Get it off me, get it off me!” Lloyd shrieked as the bird’s wings flapped in his face, sending feathers everywhere.

“Blast it with your powers!” Kai called, looking worried but keeping a respectable distance.

“I can’t! He’s on my face!”

“Well, I can’t do it, I’ll set you on fire! Nya, you do it!”

“I’m trying, I’m trying,” the water ninja spat through gritted teeth, globes of water already forming in her hands. “I just need to get a clear shot! For the love of… Lloyd, stop moving so much!”

Lloyd hardly seemed to hear her. “He’s going to claw my eyes out,” he wailed, batting weakly at the creature.

“Nya!”

Nya quickly thrust her hands forward, sending a large ball of water at Lloyd’s head, drenching him and the seagull. The bird squawked angrily, falling to the ground.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” Nya and Kai darted over to him, Nya taking his face in her hands as Kai peered over her shoulder. A small red scratch stretched across his left cheek, but apart from that, he appeared unharmed, just frazzled.

“Dude!” Kai cried. “You just got attacked. By a seagull!”

“It owned you!”

Lloyd shot Jay a glare. “Did not.”

“You should have seen your face!” Jay laughed. “Oh wait, you couldn’t- there was a bird in the way!”

Lloyd crossed his arms. “I’d like to remind you how you reacted that time when my uncle set that berserk chicken on us.”

“The chicken had lightning powers. Hardly comparable to a simple seafowl, bud.”

“Ugh, I hope this doesn’t get infected,” Nya muttered, running her finger along the scratch. “We should probably get you checked for rabies when we get home.”

“Nya, I’m fine,” Lloyd groaned, pushing her off. “A seagull isn’t going to give me rabies.”

Nya shrugged. “With your luck, I can never be sure.”

“This is why you don’t give food to wild animals, Lloyd, it makes them bolder-”

“Watch out, Lloyd!” Jay shrieked suddenly, and they whipped around to see the seagull had caught its second wind, squawking as it charged at Lloyd.

Lloyd shrieked, taking off down the beach with the seagull in pursuit. Nya sighed, putting a hand on her head. Kai grinned, walking over to her and putting a hand on her shoulder. “Do you think he’ll learn his lesson?”

“No,” Nya said without hesitation. “Absolutely not. That’s the sad part.”

“Hey,” Cole said, pointing a finger down the beach. “The volleyball court’s just opened up. You guys wanna play?”

“Sure. Tell Lloyd he can join us when he gets that seagull taken care of.”

Nya glanced towards the green ninja, who was currently lobbing balls of energy at the bird and missing by an embarrassingly wide berth. “Looks like it could be a while.”

---

“Great job, team!” Nya cheered, high-fiving Pixal and shooting a grin at Cole. “Although, if I’m being honest, the rest of you didn’t put up much of a competition.”

“Hey, don’t look at me!” Kai snapped. “I was carrying the team! Jay, Lloyd, were you planning on helping me anytime soon?”

“I was trying!” Jay insisted. “But you kept getting in my way!”

“Because every time I let you get the ball, you dropped it!”

“Hey! I never said I was good at volleyball, okay? Why are you attacking me, Lloyd sucked too!”

“It’s not like I ever had time to fit in volleyball practice between all my green ninja training! It wasn’t exactly a top priority!” “Are you telling me you’ve never played before?” Kai spluttered.

“I’ve played!” Lloyd insisted. “Uh… once or twice.”

Kai facepalmed. “Why did I let you come on my team?”

Lloyd grinned widely. “‘Cause you love me.”

Cole elbowed him. “It’s because he lost the coin toss and Nya got to pick first.”

“Hey!” Jay yelped. “Are you telling me you would have picked me last?”

“After I saw you play, yeah,” Cole snorted.

“I’m still not convinced on some of those calls, Zane,” Kai said, walking over to the nindriod. “I don’t think that one play near the third point was a foul.”

“Hey, the ref’s call is law,” Nya smirked. “Stop trying to cheat your way to victory, Kai.”

“I’m not cheating! Zane’s girlfriend is on your team! He’s obviously biased!”

“I’m a nindriod, Kai. I cannot be biased.”

“Stop being a sore loser, Kai.” Behind her, a wave swelled up. She raised her hand- then pointed it forward at Kai.

Her brother shrieked as the seawater drenched him.

“Nya! What’d you do that for?”

“You deserved it, with all the whining you were doing. Besides, you looked hot. I was just doing you a favor.”

“It’s alright,” Lloyd laughed. “You can share my towel, don’t worry.” As he handed Kai the towel, the fire ninja eyed it shrewdly.

“It’s got ducks on it. Of course it does.”

“Hey, you want the towel or not?”

“No, I’m taking the towel.” Kai wrapped the towel around himself, shivering, unfurling the ducks for all to see. Cole snickered, and Kai shot him a glare.

“Should we pack up, then?”

Zane nodded. “If we want to be back in time for dinner, probably.”

The team trudged back to their blanket, wet and sandy, but chatting amiably. They had nearly packed up all their things when Lloyd cried out suddenly.

“Where’s my wallet?”

Zane frowned. “Didn’t you put it in the valuables pouch?”

“I thought I did, but…” he paused. “Oh, wait. I tripped over Jay. I must’ve forgotten to put it in after that.”

“Well, then, it’s gotta be around here somewhere. What color is it, Lloyd?”

“What do you think? Green.”

They spent a good ten minutes searching through their entire bag and the surrounding sand, to no avail. It quickly became clear that if Lloyd’s wallet had ever fallen around here in the first place, it wasn’t here now.

Kai shrugged. “Oh well. It’s not that big of a deal. You don’t have any cards, and I don’t think you were carrying any of the cash. We can get you a new one.”

“No, but I had the things in there!”

Cole frowned. “The things?”

“You know.” Lloyd lowered his voice. “The things. That the mayor gave us?”

“What?!” Jay yelped. “Those were in there?” “You lost them?” Kai cried. “Lloyd, how could you?”

“It’s not like I did it on purpose!” Kai groaned, rubbing his face. “We should’ve never trusted you with them. Or at least split them up, so they weren’t all together.”

“I still do not understand.” Pixal frowned. “What are these things that are so important?”

“They’re a top-secret gift from the mayor,” Jay whispered. “We’re not supposed to tell anyone we have them. Not that telling anyone now would matter anyway, because we don’t have them anymore.”

“It’s not my fault!” Lloyd insisted. “It’s that stupid seagull’s, he’s the one who distracted me-” Lloyd paused, his eyes widening. “That’s it! The seagull must’ve swiped my wallet when it was chasing me!”

“Looks like we have a lead,” Kai growled.

“Wait a minute, does anyone else hear that mysterious music-”

“Oh no,” Pixal muttered, putting a hand on her forehead. “Zane, please don’t tell me you’re going to do this again.”

“It seemed that, after only a few weeks, it was time for me to crack yet another case.” The odd, deep voice rang out, and they turned to see Zane slipping on a fedora.

“Where did that even come from,” Pixal despaired. “I’m positive you didn’t bring that with you. Positive.”

“Again, I was to be accompanied by my trusty assistant, but this time, my highly trained ninja associates would also be coming along, all determined to reclaim what someone had stolen in the heist.”

Jay glanced between Pixal and Zane. “What is happening right now? Am I supposed to know what’s happening?”

Pixal shook her head. “It’s a long story. Just go with it.”

Zane tipped his hat down. “Already, we were off with a very promising lead. I suspected the culprit to be the feathered fiend that had been spotted lurking around at the scene of the crime only an hour prior.”

Kai snorted, placing a hand on Jay’s shoulder. “Oh, this is gold! Did you mess with his voice again, Jay?”

“No, I didn’t touch him! Pixal, you didn’t…”

She shook her head. “Believe me, I wouldn’t do this if you paid me. It was all him.”

Jay grinned. “What do we do next… detective Zane?” He and Kai simultaneously burst into laughter, leaning against each other for support.

Zane side-eyed them. “The primary suspect was as clear as a black bear in a snowstorm, yet the whereabouts of the creature were still unknown. It had vanished into thin air, without leaving so much as a trace in its stead.”

“Hey,” Lloyd said suddenly, leaning down to pick something up off of the sand, “What about this?”

“It appeared to be part of the plumage of a species of avian native to these shores. Could it belong to the specimen we were looking for?”

Kai plucked the feather from Lloyd’s fingers, examining it. “The feather was white with a dark tip, definitely having originated from a seagull- although the spiked, disturbed edges implied that this was from no ordinary gull- it was from one who had recently been in a fight.”

Jay grinned. “It seemed like we had hit the jackpot. Already, we were one step closer to tracking down this culprit.”

Pixal groaned. “Don’t you two start, too. It was bad enough with just Zane.”

Nya grimaced. “Yeah, this is already getting annoying.”

“How is a feather going to tell us where the seagull is now?” Cole asked.

“I could sense the wind was blowing in from the northwest,” Zane narrated. “If we wanted to find the culprit of the caper, we would have to walk upwind, hopefully leading us to the source of the feather.”

“Alright,” Pixal sighed, “let’s get this over with.”

“And so,” Zane grinned, “The Great Gull Caper began.”

The team trudged up the beach for about twenty minutes, to no avail. They passed many other beachgoers, pointing and staring as the ninja passed, but no seagulls were in sight.

“Are you sure about this, Zane?” Pixal asked.

“The feathered suspect had gained an hour’s head start in its escape from the scene, meaning we would have to hasten our pace if we ever hoped to catch up.”

“Oh, I am not walking an hour just to find this thing. Are we sure it’s that important?”

“Yes!” the guys yelped in unison.

“It’s a very important gift from the mayor! It would be rude to lose it,” Jay said. “We have to get it back!”

“Couldn’t you just ask for another… whatever they are?”

“No! They’re one of a kind!” “Well, can we at least hurry this up? Frankly, I’m getting quite tired of Zane’s shenanigans.”

Zane grinned at her. “Although she voiced her disapproval, my assistant knew the efficiency of my methods, as they had gotten us out of a pinch the last time things had been amok.”

“First of all, I was the one who successfully found Dyer last time. You just ended up getting caught.”

“Perhaps, but you used my techniques.”

Pixal huffed. “Second, I don’t appreciate that you keep calling me your assistant. If anything, we’re partners!”

Zane adjusted his fedora. “So it was a promotion she was after, eh? Well, if my assistant could prove her worth by properly complying with my techniques in this case, she may find herself with a loftier position in the future.”

Pixal sighed. “Whatever. Let’s just find the stupid bird, and go.”

The group trekked after Zane again, and Pixal wondered how long they would be here, when Zane suddenly stopped, causing half of the gang to crash into him.

“What?” Jay yelped. “What’s wrong? Why’d we stop?”

Zane pointed near his feet. “It seemed like the culprit had been careless enough to leave behind tracks in the sand.”

Pixal peered over his shoulder. Sure enough, the tracks of some avian species left a trail in the sand- and after consulting her database, it appeared to match the foot of a seagull.

“We’re getting closer!” Cole said. “It has to be around here somewhere.”

Nya’s eyes went wide, and she pointed towards something in the distance. “Look!”

Down the beach, a large group of seagulls was flocking around a half-eaten pretzel, flapping their wings and squawking as they tried to push past each other.

“It could be any of them,” Lloyd despaired. “How are we going to know which one was the one who stole my wallet?”

Jay smirked. “There’s only one way to find out.”

Lloyd eyed him nervously. “How?”

“One seagull, in particular, has come to associate you with food. One seagull has been known to chase you down.”

“Oh,” Lloyd paled, taking a step back and waving his hands. “Oh, no, I do not like where this is heading…”

“Come on, Lloyd, do it for the team,” Cole pleaded.

“You are the one who lost them in the first place,” Kai agreed. “It’s only fair.”

Lloyd groaned. “Why do I let you bully me into these things?”

“Go on,” Nya gave him a gentle shove. “We don’t have all day!”

Sticking his tongue out at her, Lloyd stepped forward, towards the seagulls. Several of them looked his way, a few flapping their wings anxiously and squawking in warning. Lloyd stopped, swallowing.

“Um. Hey. I don’t suppose any of you have seen a green wallet around here?”

Jay rolled his eyes. “They can’t understand you. Get closer!”

“Okay! I’m going, jeez-” he broke off with a yelp as a seagull darted in front of him, nearly tripping him as he stepped on its tail.

The seagull shrieked, and, in a flurry of feathers, the flock broke into a frenzied panic. Lloyd’s eyes widened, and he cried out, running away and frantically ducking swooping seagulls.

He darted behind Kai as a last nervy seagull hopped after him. Kai held up a fist, which burst into flame, scaring the bird off. Kai glanced back at Lloyd, amusement sparkling in his dark eyes. “You okay, bud?”

Lloyd glared. “Don’t look at me like that. These birds are vicious!”

“Look!” Pixal pointed at a gull that had remained behind. With the others out of the way, she could see the small, green wallet between its beak.

“That’s the one!” Cole cried. “After it!”

For ninja, the group was embarrassingly unstealthy as they clamored after the bird, shooting elemental powers at it and screaming as they narrowly avoided each other’s blasts, so that by the time the seagull reached the water, the beach was a mess of crystalized sand, crevices in the ground, and various burn marks from fire, lightning, and energy.

“It’s a seagull!” Nya cried. “We’ve faced giant snakes, lords of darkness, elemental masters, Oni, more criminals and gangsters than I can count, and an evil video game AI, yet we can’t catch one measly seagull? It shouldn’t be this hard, you guys!”

“It’s getting away,” Jay cried, pointing at the bird, who had finally taken flight and was heading out over the ocean.

“No!” Lloyd moaned. “Now we’re never going to get it back!”

“Not on my watch,” Nya growled, racing past them towards the docks. “Come on!” “Oh no,” Kai groaned. “Nya Smith, whatever you are thinking, stop it right now, because I’m not doing it.” “Come on, Kai,” Lloyd insisted, grabbing his wrist and yanking him along. “We have to hurry!”

They raced after Nya, who was running down the dock towards a man who was examining the boats. Kai followed them more slowly, taking careful steps.

“Sir, we need to use a boat, right away! We’ll pay for it, we promise!”

The man shook his head. “Sorry, ma’am, but these are all private boats. The only one we have is that one,” he pointed to a small, worn-looking fishing boat, “and the motor’s broken, so it’s of no use to anyone.”

“It doesn’t matter, I can take care of that. Everyone, get in!”

“W-wait,” the man stuttered, looking flustered.

“We’ll bring it right back, I promise! Now, come on, we don’t have much time!”

“No!” Kai insisted, as everyone else piled in. “Nuh-uh. No way. Not in a million years. You are not bringing me out into the middle of the ocean in a tiny, crowded boat with a busted engine!”

“You don’t need an engine when you’ve got me!” Nya raised her hand, and the water swirled under the boat, rocking it slightly. “Now, come on, we don’t have time for this!” “Y’know what.” Kai took a couple of steps back from the boat. “I’m good. I’ll stay here. You guys have fun finding the wallet. I’ll cheer you on from the beach. The dry, dry beach.”

“Nope.” Cole reached forward, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him in. “This is your gift we’re saving, too. If you want to get part of it, you’re coming with.”

“Finally!” Nya huffed. The water rippled beneath them, and suddenly, it was propelling their boat, and they were off.

“Where’s the bird?” Nya asked. “Does anyone see it?” “Over there!” Cole pointed slightly towards their left, where the seagull was gliding away with surprising speed. Getting into the boat had slowed them down, and it had gotten a large head start.

Nya gritted her teeth. “Hold on.”

“Don’t go faster!” Kai yelped from where he huddled near the middle of the boat, protectively sandwiched between Lloyd and Cole. “If you tip this boat, I will never forgive you.”

“I know what I’m doing,” Nya growled, although the boat slowed slightly as they continued.

“Our team continued to chase the thief, determined to put an end to the Great Gull Caper and put the culprit to justice. Even when our path took us across the raging waters of the ocean, with nothing but a rusty, broken old boat, and deep, swirling waters around us, filled with the dark abyss and the creatures that lurked there…”

“You mean like sharks?” Lloyd perked, peering over the edge. “Did you see any? I wanna see one!”

“Nope,” Kai yelped, pulling himself into a ball as he sat down on the floor of the boat. “Nopety nope nope nope. I’m done. I’m outta here.”

“The prospect of sharks was a dire one, but one we were willing to take. We would get that wallet back, no matter the cost- even if it meant competition from this fierce predator of the sea.”

Kai screamed into his hands. “Just end me now!”

“What Zane means to say,” Pixal said, elbowing Zane sharply, “is that sharks are actually very off-put by the taste of human flesh, and do not go after humans on purpose.”

Kai stared at her. “Oh joy, now a shark can devour my flesh by accident, what a relief.”

“Do not worry, Kai,” she told him. “There is only one estimated death by shark per year in the greater Ninjago City area.”

“Knowing my luck,” Kai grumbled, “I’ll be that one.”

“Did anyone bring their phone with?” Lloyd asked. “I wanna get a good picture when the sharks come for Kai.”

“I call dibs on his katana,” Jay exclaimed. “Y’know, the super flashy one with the flaming dragon carved into the handle?”

Lloyd wrinkled his nose at him. “Why would you want a fire dragon on your katana? You’re the lightning ninja!”

“Hey, just because my element is lightning, doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a super dope fire design when I see one-”

“Guys,” Cole sighed, pushing his way between the two arguing boys. “No one is getting eaten. We’re perfectly safe here, on this boat.”

“Cole’s right,” Pixal agreed. “The sharks around this area are smaller, reef dwellers, and won’t come after us. They may, however, come after our seagull friend if he gets too close to the water.”

Kai made a noise in the back of his throat, and Cole scowled at her. “Thanks for the help, Pix.”

“Nya,” Jay whined, “the seagull’s getting further away! We have to go faster!”

“Don’t!” Pixal cried. “This boat has not been manufactured to withstand a lot of weight. With seven people, especially when two of them are titanium, going too fast would be sure to capsize us.”

“I told you I should’ve stayed behind on the shore,” Kai wailed.

Lloyd leaned further over the edge, raising a hand to his forehead to keep the glare off of his face as he peered intently into the water. “Is… is that a shark?”

Kai stared at him. “Shut up. You’re just baiting.”

Lloyd shook his head, his eyes lighting up in a way that was not reassuring in the slightest. “I’m not! It’s a shark! It’s a real, live shark! I’ve never seen one this close before! Except at like, an aquarium!”

Kai closed his eyes, rocking himself gently. “You’re lying. You stupid liar, I hate you.”

Cole peered over, following Lloyd’s gaze, and promptly bit his lip. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“This is a dumb prank, you guys!” Kai was half-yelling by this point.

“Stop being so loud,” Lloyd hissed. “You’ll scare it!”

Kai blinked at him. “I’ll scare it?”

Lloyd crossed his arms. “A scared shark is an aggressive shark.”

Kai’s mouth snapped shut.

“I can’t believe this,” Cole muttered. “Did we really not bring any weapons?”

“No!” Lloyd yelped. “Cole, you wouldn’t!”

“I would if it kept us from being eaten.”

“For the last time, sharks don’t eat humans!”

Cole ignored him. “Well? Did we?”

Nya snorted. “Why would we bring weapons to the beach?”

“Hey, with how often this city gets attacked, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Nya rolled her eyes. “It was supposed to be our day off.”

“It’s fine,” Pixal reported, keeping a careful eye on the shark. “It’s swimming away now. As long as we leave it alone, we’re safe.”

Kai frowned. “Looks like the gull isn’t so convinced, though.”

Pixal glanced up. Sure enough, the seagull was eyeing the shark nervously, pumping its wings as it flew higher and higher above the surface of the water.

“Do something!” Jay shrieked. “If we don’t stop it now, it’s going to get away for good!”

“Lloyd!” Nya cried. “Is your wallet waterproof?”

“What?”

“Just answer the question!” “Yes! Yes, it is!”

Nya gritted her teeth. “Hold on, everyone!”

Suddenly, a vast wave rose out of the water, looming over the seagull.

Kai’s eyes widened. “Nya, be careful, you’ll hit us too-”

But it was already too late, the wave crashing down, downing the seagull, and soaking them in saltwater. The team cried out, and Kai screamed, throwing his arms over his head in a futile attempt to protect himself. As they all tried to lurch away from the spray, the boat rocked precariously, and, for a horrifying moment, they were suspended there, on the point between balance and capsize.

And then that moment was over, and they were all falling into the ocean.

Pixal’s world immediately dimmed as she plunged into the water, quietness enveloping her like a blanket. For a moment, she was too shocked to do anything, until a foot thrashed past her face, snapping her out of her trance as she swam towards the surface.

A couple of feet before she reached it, a metal hand snatched her wrist and pulled her the rest of the way up.

“Pixal!” Zane cried, his detective voice dropped. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. What about everyone else? Are we all here?”

Zane nodded his head behind her, and she turned to see the others all within a couple of feet. Cole had his hands on the now upside-down boat, trying to use his strength to push it over, but it was hard for him to get a good grip and stay afloat at the same time. Just behind him, Jay was spitting out a mouthful of seawater, sending ripples across the surface of the ocean as he treaded water. Lloyd was doing the same a couple of feet away, only the green ninja was struggling a lot more because of the arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

“Don’t let me go, Lloyd!” Kai yelped, although the feat would’ve been impossible even if Lloyd had wanted to- the fire ninja was clinging to him like a barnacle. “I can’t swim!”

Lloyd sighed. “I know that, Kai. It’s the only reason I’m letting you hold on to me like this.”

“I can’t believe this happened,” Kai cried. “We’re going to die out here. This is the worst day off ever.”

“Hey!” Lloyd snapped. “It’s not my fault this happened!”

Nya shot them all a sharp glare from where she was drifting alongside the boat. She didn’t even bother to tread water like the rest of them, instead using her powers to keep herself afloat. “It was going to work until you guys made such a big fuss about getting a little wet and tipped the boat.”

Cole sighed. “We’re not going to die. As soon as I get this right side up again, we’ll climb up and get out of here. Can you give me a hand, Zane?”

As the nindriod moved to help him, Kai suddenly went rigid.

“Lloyd,” he whispered.

“What, Kai?”

“Something just bumped my foot.”

“It’s probably just seaweed, Kai,” Lloyd sighed, looking down- and promptly froze.

“No one. Move.”

Jay squeezed his eyes shut. “Oh no, oh gosh, don’t tell me that’s what I think it is, this is not happening-”

“Jay, shut up,” Nya whispered, her face pale as she watched the dark shape lurking below them in the water.

“Everyone, stay calm,” Pixal murmured. “Don’t make any sudden movements and try to look it in the eyes.”

“Please, the last thing I’m gonna do is look at it,” Kai breathed, burying his face in Lloyd’s hair.

After a moment, the shark slowly swam past, losing interest.

“It doesn’t care about us,” Zane realized. “It wants the seagull.”

Several yards away, the gull was floating on the water, still trying to shake off the moisture from Nya’s wave. Suddenly realizing the danger it was in, the bird raised its wings- and launched itself into the air, just as fierce jaws snapped against empty air where the seagull had been less than a second ago.

Kai’s fingers dug tighter into Lloyd’s shoulders, and Pixal caught Jay biting his lip as he swallowed back a scream, but, its prey lost, the shark was already swimming away.

“Gotcha,” Nya murmured, reaching a hand out and snatching up the wallet, which the seagull had dropped in all the commotion, before it could sink to the bottom of the ocean.

“Okay. That’s great. We got it. Now can we get out of here?” Kai pleaded.

After a minute, they finally got the boat flipped over, and Cole hauled himself aboard before helping to lift the others. Ten minutes later, they were all safely out of the water and on their way back to the dock, and Pixal had never felt more relieved by the fact.

“So,” Jay asked, as the boat glided through the water, leaning closer to Nya. “Did they survive all that?”

“Let’s see,” Nya murmured, opening up Lloyd’s wallet. Pixal leaned forward, anxious to see what all the fuss had been about.

“Yes!” Jay cried, pulling out seven slips of paper. “They’re all here!”

“Wait.” Pixal snatched one from his hand, quickly scanning it. “A summer pass for free all-you-can-eat ice cream from the Dairy Dragon?”

“Yup,” Jay smiled, passing them out to the others. “The mayor gave them to us as a gift after we saved the city from Prime Empire. That’s what we were going to do today, after the beach, actually.”

“You’re telling me,” Pixal deadpanned. “That we just risked our lives. For free ice cream.”

“Free ice cream is free ice cream, Pix.”

“You’ll understand once you’ve tried their butter pecan,” Nya told her. “It’s to die for.”

“Butter pecan?” Jay spluttered. “No way, the Ninjapolitan is best.”

“You heathen, chocolate fudge is obviously the best flavor-”

“What are you guys talking about, mint chocolate chip is superior!”

“You just like it because it’s green.”

“Do not!”

“Do so!” Nya sighed, putting her head in her hands. “Here we go again.”

“Calm down, all of you,” Pixal said. “You can get whatever flavor of ice cream you want. Just do me a favor and try not to end up capsizing us in the middle of the ocean this time.”

Jay hummed. “No promises.”

#ninjago #ninbingo #my fic #rosie writes #ninjago kai #ninjago pixal #ninjago nya #ninjago zane #ninjago lloyd #ninjago jay #ninjago cole #i cant believe i actually wrote something that is 100% fluff #that's never happened before #it feels... weird #but it was a lot of fun #and yes Lloyd loves sharks and I will die on that hill #thanks for reading!#reblogs and comments greatly appreciated!

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Text

MALEC WEEK - IDIOTS TO LOVERS

Most people despised getting older. But Magnus actually loved it.

The older you get, the wiser you become.

Every year, life teaches you something new. Something important. It never missed.

And this year, Magnus had learned a very valuable lesson indeed.

Never ever take advice from Ragnor Fell.

“A long drive would do you some good, Magnus,” Magnus imitated his friend’s words with a scowl. “You can look at the trees, Magnus!”

Magnus looked out of the window, fanning himself with one hand. “WHERE ARE MY DAMN TREES?”

There were no trees. There was no scenery.

It was just dry, dry land. And the sun was out to get him today.

Sure, the view wouldn’t be much from an airplane either. But at least he would be sipping cocktails and instead of drowning in his own sweat.

“I’m going to kill him,” Magnus promised himself in a soothing tone. “I’m going to kill Ragnor when I get to the guest house.”

They were all supposed to meet up at Ragnor’s guest house for the old goat’s birthday. But thanks to this endless drive and the merciless sun, it seemed that they would probably be going to Magnus’ funeral first.

“I will pay in sweat,” Magnus said in a calming tone. “And Ragnor will pay in blood.”

There was something in the distance. Something big and black. He thought it might be an animal. He couldn’t even see properly – thanks to all the sun and the sweat. He squinted harder and saw that it was a car.

A broken-down car.

“Just keep driving,” Magnus told himself. “Not your problem. Just keep driving.”

But as he got closer, he slowed down – because of course he was going to help a stranger out.

Maybe god would look kindly at this good deed and bless him with spontaneous rain.

He parked his car and hopped out, shaking off the sweat and exhaustion. “What seems to be the problem?”

“Something’s up with the stupid engine,” a voice said from behind the raised hood of the car.

“Well, technically something is down with the stupid eng-” the lame joke died in his throat. “Holy shit!”

“Excuse me?”

It was a man.

A gorgeous man.

Without a shirt.

It was a gorgeous man without a shirt.

“You okay?” the man reached out.

Magnus jumped back like a rabbit.

He was positive that he would spontaneously combust if the man touched him.

“Your face is burning,” the man pointed out. “You sure you are okay?”

“Yeah,” Magnus gulped. “You’re hot.”

“I-What?”

“You’re hot,” Magnus stammered. “I’m hot. We are all hot. It’s the stupid climate.”

“Oh, right,” the man chuckled nervously and pointed at his naked chest. “I know. I literally had to take my shirt off.”

Magnus just smiled – not trusting his own mouth. “So, car broke down, huh?”

“Nah, I’m just standing here for fun,” the man said dryly.

Oh god. This wasn’t going well. Get it together, Magnus!

“Anything I can do to help?” Magnus asked.

“You know anything about vintage cars?” the man asked, his tone not condescending, just curious.

“Duh,” Magnus replied with a confidence that came out of nowhere. “I’m actually a vintage car expert.”

He didn’t know shit about vintage cars.

Fuck, he didn’t know shit about regular cars.

The man bent down, peering into the engine again. “They are thing of a beauty, aren’t they?”

Magnus was sweating again. But he doubted the sun had anything to do with it. “Yep. Beauty indeed.”

“That’s a nice vintage ride too,” Alec pointed at Magnus’ car. “That’s a Mercedes 300SL Gullwing, right?”

Fuck if he knew. It was Ragnor’s car. He was just driving it back.

“Yep, that’s correct,” Magnus nodded.

“Hey, you have any water?” the man suddenly straightened up. “I actually ran out a few miles ago.”

“Um, yeah. Hold on,” Magnus nodded and jogged back to his car.

He threw the plastic bottle at the shirtless guy, who caught and poured some of it into the car.

And then this man, this beautiful human specimen, had the audacity to spill the rest of it on his head.

The water cascaded down his naked upper body and Magnus gulped – perhaps even audibly.

“Oh, sweet baby jesus,” he muttered to himself.

“What?” the man asked.

“It’s hot,” Magnus said.

The man cocked his head. “The climate?”

“Obviously,” Magnus nodded. “You think, uh, you think you can fix it?”

“I’m not sure with this damned heat” he said, passing the bottle to Magnus. “The engine should cool down though - thanks to you.”

“You’re welcome,” Magnus smiled. “So, I guess…I guess I should go.”

The man blinked – as if he hadn’t expected that at all. As if he had expected Magnus to just hang around out and chat with a random shirtless man on the side of the road.

Oh if only…

“Yeah,” the man nodded. “Yeah. Thanks for the water.”

Magnus managed a polite smile and let his feet drag him back to his car.

“Unless you want to help,” the man yelled.

“I would love to help,” Magnus yelled back.

“Great,” the man smiled and for a moment Magnus wanted to kiss Ragnor for sending him on this cursed roadtrip. “I’m Alec.”

“Magnus,” he grinned. “So, um, let’s get started.”

Oh god. Oh god. What does he do? What does he do?

“I’ll get the tools,” Alec pointed out and went to the trunk.

Tools! Of course, you need tools to fix a car! Duh!

“Would this do?” Alec asked, showing Magnus an unnecessarily large box of…well, tools. Magnus didn't really know what they were called.

“Um, I think so,” Magnus said airily. “I need to assess the problem first.”

He bent over to at least give it a shot and heard the man cough.

“You okay?” Magnus asked.

“Um, yes,” Alec replied, staring at Magnus. “You’re pretty.”

Magnus stood up straight and banged his head on the hood.

“I mean, you’re pretty far from town,” Alec explained with a flush. Stupid California sun. “Road trip?”

“Apparently,” Magnus chuckled, ignoring the pain on his forehead. “You?”

“Driving up to see my brother,” Alec answered. “But now…Well, I’m not so sure.”

Oh.

Oh wow.

“You think so?” Magnus asked.

Magnus didn’t know the feeling was mutual. Maybe they could go to Ragnor’s guesthouse together. That would be a nice payback.

“Well, I can’t really make it all the way there without a car,” Alec explained, and Magnus wanted to face palm so bad.

Of course. Of course, he meant the car.

“You think you can fix it?” Alec asked.

Magnus put on a grave face. “I’m afraid the damage is serious.”

“Wait, what?” Alec sounded surprised.

“Yeah, you probably won’t be able to drive it ever again,” Magnus said sympathetically. “Your engine…opener is…rusted.”

“My engine what?” Alec looked confused. “It’s new!”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“It’s a common problem with vintage cars, actually,” Magnus pointed out with fake confidence.

“Is that so?” Alec asked, giving him that smile that only made Magnus want to keep lying and hang out here a little longer.

“Yep,” Magnus said and pretended to focus on the car again.

“What are some other common problems with vintage cars?” Alec asked curiously. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt to know.”

“Um,” Magnus said. “The accelerator can get, um, greasy sometimes.”

“Oh really?” Alec asked. “Why is that?”

“Um, humidity,” Magnus pointed out.

“And how would I fix that?” Alec asked,

Damn, this guy had a lot of questions about vintage cars.

“Oh, you just take circle thingy,” he picked up a random tool from the toolbox. “And just, uh, rub it on the accelerator.”

Alec’s face looked odd. Like he was going to sneeze.

“And what should I do if the engine is overheated?” Alec asked.

“That’s simple,” Magnus felt like he knew the answer to this one. It's just like coffee. “You just blow on the engine until it cools down.”

Alec bit his lip. Maybe a demonstration was in order?

“Wait, I’ll show you,” Magnus said and bent down again to blow on the engine. “It’s not that diff-”

“DON’T DO THAT!” Alec yelled and yanked Magnus back.

He did with such force that Magnus ended up almost falling. But Alec caught him by the arm and steadied him quickly.

“You don’t blow on an overheated engine, Magnus!” Alec said. “You could have burnt yourself!”

“I was being careful!” Magnus complained.

“You were being reckless,” Alec pointed out. “Do you know anything about vintage cars?”

Well, he didn’t see any point in keeping this up.

“They are expensive?” Magnus asked cheekily.

“You could have messed up my car,” Alec said – sounding a little pissed off. “Or worse. You could have gotten hurt.”

If Magnus knew one thing about vintage cars was that they were actually expensive. Did Alec just say Magnus getting hurt was worse than getting his vintage car damaged?

“I’m fine,” Magnus shrugged it off. He didn’t want to get his hopes up.

“The car is fine too,” Alec pointed out. “The water should help.”

“Well, if it was fine then why did you ask for my help?” Magnus demanded.

“Why did you pretend like you can fix my car?” Alec countered.

They were just staring at each other in the middle of the road. It was like a stare off or something.

Magnus lost of course. Because he was still aware that Alec was not wearing a shirt and his eyes may have travelled a little south from his face.

“Fine, I lied,” Magnus put his hands up.

“I lied too,” Alec said a little lamely. “I actually fix cars as a hobby.”

“But then why-”

“Why do you think?” Alec asked, rolling his eyes.

“Ohhhh,” Magnus said. “Well then…I should get going.”

What! Why? Stay back!

Alec who had looked surprised quickly recovered himself. “Alright then. Enjoy your road trip.”

Magnus nodded and walked back to his own car.

There was no reason to hang around here. There was nothing wrong with his car. He didn’t have anything else to do but get in, drive and go to Ragnor’s birthday party.

Stupid perfect car!

And then it struck him. He almost felt his eyes twinkle at the thought. He quickly bent down and let the air out of the front wheel.

Ragnor would just have to make do with three wheels. Sacrifices had to be made in the name of love and shirtless strangers.

“Alexander!” he called.

Alec jogged over to him – still without a shirt of course.

Bless the California sun.

“What happened?” Alec asked.

“Flat tire,” Magnus gave his best pout. “You think you can help me with that?”

Alec grinned.

“Well, I’m not sure,” Alec’s eyes twinkled too. “But luckily I know a vintage car expert.”

#once again I am here to sell you some crack :)#THIS IS A CRACK FIC #im sooorrrryyy #malec week

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frostsinth · 3 years

Text

Burdened by the Stars - Pt. 5

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 - MasterList - Art

Holy Shit, it’s an update! A real update! For an existing story! Not a new project, not some random side quest.

Hey! I’m not dead! Whooo!

Welp. I hope you guys enjoy this! I’ve started writing the next chapter already, so hopefully it won’t be another four months for an update. Thank you for your patience! Lots of love.

Requested tags: @lightning-butterfly

“Auntie Gana!” Lorette squealed excitedly, launching herself onto my back and wrapping her arms around my neck. “I found you!”

I jumped nearly a foot, then laughed to dispel my jitteriness. Nearly toppling over entirely as her brother Corwin gave a shout upon the discovery of us both and jumped right on top. Our combined hot breath billowing like a cloud around us.

The afternoon with my nieces and nephews had certainly been refreshing. Though the mountain air of the goblin castle gardens was cold (colder even than the usual winter temperatures at lower altitudes), with all the running around we were doing, I hardly noticed. The six of them had been ecstatic to be pulled from their lessons early for the day, and had nearly bounced off the walls. Much to the disdain of their tutor, who gave me a dark glower as I pried the youngest off their chalkboard. But as I was the goblin Princess, and technically an adult, they had no recompense against my decision to dismiss them for the day to take over supervision of my nieces and nephews.

“It’s your turn to find us, Auntie!” Corwin informed me as Izaak and the twins skipped over. Likely alerted by the sounds of my hiding spot being uncovered.

I nodded my agreement, tossing Lorette over my shoulder as I stood up. She squealed and kicked, laughing so hard she was breathless. Her red braids slapping about her face as she wriggled. I glanced up at the sky, feeling the edge of anxiousness at the pestering thoughts of what Erramun might be doing. It was a thought that had often interrupted my afternoon. Leaving me more than a little distant and distracted, to the point where even my youngest charges were starting to notice. Hopefully he was still asleep, or at least resting quietly. Though with the sun sinking ever lower, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could assure myself of that.

“Alright, one more round.” I told them, placing Lorette back on her feet. “Then I’ve got to get you all back inside to wash up before dinner.”

I ignored the round of groans at my response. The twins, Yua and Hilal, each grabbed on to one of my legs and began to loudly proclaim I’d have to drag them inside if that’s what I wanted. Hilal even argued that she wasn’t hungry, and that dinner was going to be yucky anyway, so there was no point going in. Apparently Niko was currently on a healthy eating vendetta. Feeling that his family was far too indulgent in sweets and treats not indicative of a well-rounded diet for growing boys and girls. So he had taken a firm mindset and an iron grip on what was being cooked and served for their meals. A decision that I gathered was not sitting well with his offspring. Or his husband, evidently. I looked around four a moment as Lorette ducked under my elbow and tugged on it insistently.

“Where’s Viktor?” I asked Izaak, who was currently having a shoulder shoving match with Corwin, the closest to him in age with only a year between the two.

“Viktor?” Izaak took a step back, letting his brother topple to the ground at his feet as he turned his attention to me. Craning his neck back to look up at me with his soft, umber eyes. “He went to pick flowers I think.”

“Shut up, you ninny!” Cried Yua, jumping up from my leg and shoving her older (and much larger) brother to little effect. “He wanted to surprise Auntie Gana!”

Izaak gave the 6 year old a barely concealed scowl. “Well then he shouldn’t have taken so long.” The little prince squared his shoulders and tucked his hands behind his back. “He should have stayed with the rest of us, now it’s getting dark.”

“It is getting dark,” I agreed, reaching out to ruffle his messy blonde hair, “We should go find him.”

Izaak squealed in displeasure, pushing my hand away. “Auntie! Please don’t touch my hair! It took me forever to get it combed straight!”

Corwin, having scrambled back up, attempted to now launch himself at his sibling. Trying unsuccessfully to rangle Izaak to the ground. They may have been close in age, but Corwin was a full blooded goblin, leaving him smaller and lankier than his half-blooded older brother. Izaak was tall, even for a human child at his age, and while Corwin was by no means a runt, he would likely never quite manage to catch up. Still, he gave Izaak more than a little trouble, hanging off him as he was.

“Be careful not to get Crown Prince Izaak messy!” He mocked as he did, giving a sharp toothed smirk, “Papa is never messy, so Crown Prince Izaak can’t be messy either!”

“Get OFF, Cory!” Izaak howled back, beating a little fist into his brother’s back.

“Alright, that’s enough,” I told them, prying Corwin off and tucking him under one arm despite his wiggling and the fact that one twin was still latched to my leg, “Come on, we’ve got to find Viktor before it gets too dark.”

“He’ll get scared if it gets too dark,” Yua reminded the others busily.

“He can’t see in the dark like us,” Hilal finished, tugging on my skirts and offering me a traditional pointy toothed grin from her place still wrapped around my leg.

I glanced at her, returning her smile, then at Yua, now standing over her sister to tug at my skirts. The pair weren’t actually twins; Niko and Grier had adopted both of the goblin girls at the same time as chubby infants, and they had fast become inseparable. Now they championed the title of ‘twins’, rarely going anywhere without each other and making it a point to finish each other’s sentences. And thoughts, at times. It helped some that they didn’t look particularly dissimilar, though Yua had copper brown hair while Hilal’s was nearly pitch black. Other than that, they were the same age and height, and tended to prefer the same clothes and hairstyles. I brushed a few wild strands of Hilal’s hair out of her face as I finally put a kicking and wriggling Corwin back on his feet.

“But Auntie Gana,” Whined Lorette, “If we spend all that time looking for Viktor, we can’t play one last round!”

I thought about that for a second, tapping my fingertips dramatically against my lips as goblins did and leaving the children giggling excitedly. I had long ago adopted it as my signal to show them I had something fun planned for them. I could see them all bouncing on their toes eagerly as they waited. Even Izaak, trying so hard to be stoic and proper as he thought a Prince should be, had a glimmer of light dancing in his wide eyes.

“Well then, we’ll just have to make a game of it.” I told them. “First one to find Viktor… Gets dessert after dinner.”

I didn’t have to say it twice to have 4 of the five children screeching with delight and bounding off through the gardens. Certainly they must be deprived of sweets for such an incentive to work. I almost laughed at that, and almost being able to picture the tiniest of scowls at the corner of Niko’s lips when he found out. Soon their bobbing heads had disappeared among the hedges and paths. Izaak looked like he wanted to join them, his body slightly angled as if to launch into a full sprint. But he stopped, hesitating and looking up at me.

“Are you ok, Auntie Gana?” He asked me quietly, shuffling in place.

I looked at him in surprise. “Of course, Izaak! Why?”

He shrugged, bringing his hands around to rub at the palm of one. “I just thought you seemed a little quiet today… Are you and papa fighting?”

I almost groaned. “Did your inunu put you up to this? Or Niko himself?” I asked knowingly. Eying my oldest nephew suspiciously. Wondering if he had been spying on me this entire time. And also wondering if i had given anything away.

He gave me a sheepish grin. “Both. Inunu promised I could have three isiok if I asked, and papa said I could stay up a whole hour late with him.”

I would have laughed, shaking my head and putting my hands on my hips. “Is that why you aren’t racing off with your brother and sisters to find Viktor?” I reasoned, and he nodded.

“I already get dessert, even if someone else finds him.” He told me, sounding pleased with himself. “Papa doesn’t know inunu already asked, and inunu doesn’t know papa asked!”

I did laugh then, reaching out and giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze as we turned to make our way off the grass and walk along the main garden path. Mindful of his hair per his request. It hadn’t appeared particularly neat, but I was sure the messy locks were quite uncooperative. And I knew how much he tried. He slipped in a little closer, matching my stride with his and squaring his little shoulders again. I smiled to myself. He looked so much like Niko when he did that. A tiny little green-skinned, blonde-haired Niko, I corrected myself with amusement, but Niko-esque for certain.

“Two birds with one stone,” I mused aloud, wrapping my arm about his shoulders, “Very clever of you, Your Highness.”

He couldn’t seem to help grinning again, looking down at his shiny boots. “Yeah, but I think it only works if I have something to tell them.”

I shook my head once more, kicking up a little gravel as we went. “Not at all! The promise from both of them was just for you to ask me right? They didn’t say you had to get an answer.” I grinned back at him. “Or that you couldn’t tell me they asked you to.”

He seemed to think about that for a second, then nodded. “Yeah, Auntie, you’re right!” He looked up at me again, tilting his head to the side. “So you don’t have to tell me… unless you want to, that is.”

I sighed a little. “Alright, here’s what you can say. You tell Niko I said that he needs to stop treating me like a baby and pestering me all the time. And tell Grier I said you should get four isiok, because you are a very sweet and clever little Prince and you deserve all the extra dessert you want.”

Izaak chortled, nodding in bemusement. “Alright Auntie. I can do that.”

“And tell them Lorette gets dessert tonight too,” I proclaimed more loudly, as the rest of the gaggle returned, the half-goblin triumphantly holding a screeching Viktor over her shoulder, “As she is the best little brother wrangler of all time.”

That brought a round of giggles as Lorette passed her still kicking brother to me. Viktor stuck his tongue out at her, then quickly offered up a messy fistfull of half pulverized flowers to me.

“You’re not coming to dinner, Auntie?” Corwin asked, shoving Hilal out of the way to come and stand next to my leg.

“Not tonight.” I told him, reaching down to push his curly black hair out of his eyes after taking the flowers from Viktor with a pleasant thanks. “I’ve got… other stuff to do.”

“Lorette cheated!” Squealed Yua, stomping one foot angrily.

“She’s bigger than us! We can’t carry Viktor like she can!” Hilal agreed, pouting.

“Not forever,” I assured her, “Soon, I think Viktor will be taller than all of you!” I hoisted him up into the air over my head in illustration, which had him giggling with delight. “Besides, the deal was whoever found Viktor got dessert, not who carried him back.” I turned to the twins, who looked at each other for a moment before turning back to me. “And who found Viktor?”

“Lorette.” They admitted begrudgingly.

“So, the dessert award stands as it is.” I declared, putting the youngest back down on his feet to hold his hand instead. Not that I felt particularly bad. I knew my brother’s sense of fairness was indomitable, and having granted one child such permissions, I had likely granted it to them all. “Now, let’s get you all inside and washed up before your fathers take away my dessert.”

That brought a fresh round of laughter, and the six royal children of the goblin kingdom darted eagerly around my legs and up and down the halls as we made our way back up to our quarters. I spared the tower a final glance before we ducked into the castle, wondering not for the first time just what I would find when I went back to my own rooms.

.....

I was able to hand off my nieces and nephews to their caretakers after helping them all get washed up and changed for dinner without running into either Niko or Grier. Which I took as a small blessing, as I kept nervously glancing out the window to try and gauge just how long I had left until the Kings might just decide to pop in. I knew it was unlikely; usually they met their brood in the dining room at the end of each day. But I didn’t put it past either of them to attempt to catch me unawares. Especially as I was sure they had already heard I had liberated their children from their studies early to play with them in the gardens. Little went on in the castle that the two didn’t know about.

That thought made me smirk to myself in accomplishment as I hesitated outside my own door, having seen the Princes and Princesses off down the stairs with their attendants before heading back down the hall. Certainly I could think of no one else who would have been able to smuggle an orc of all things into the castle undetected. I had even managed to get his mare into the stables with no one batting an eye at her blood splattered coat before I had picked up my nieces and nephews. I glanced about briefly to make sure I was alone once more before I slipped back into my rooms. My heart in my throat and my nerves jumping on end.

The sitting room was quiet and dark, and I closed the door and latched it behind me. My eyes strained in the dimness, with only the barest hints of light coming from under the door to the hall. Perhaps I should get my eyes charmed like Niko’s, I thought to myself as I fumbled for the candle by the entrance. Placing the bundle of pulverized flowers from Viktor on the little table there for a moment as I did. It would certainly make living in a goblin castle half the year much easier. As the wick caught with a soft hiss, I heard the telltale creak of my bed in the other room.

Quickly I had to douse my nerves, straightening myself out with the reminder once more that these were my rooms. I was supposed to be here. Erramun was not. I felt another twitch of satisfaction at the corner of my mouth again, unable to resist feeling a little smug in that confidence. Even if he wanted to leave, he wouldn’t get anywhere without my help. It was a reassuring feeling to have the half-orc under my thumb. Though the reminder of my guest set my heart skipping again. Which I of course briskly ignored.

I used the light of the candle to find a vase amid my things, feeling each clutter and clank of my shuffling was louder than a thundering herd of cattle. Rather hoping the half-orc wasn’t sleeping. I had to move two small boxes and a stack of books out of my way. But I eventually found what I was looking for, and placed the small colorful vase on one end table. Gathering the messy bouquet up carefully from where I had left it by the door to set it into its new home. I ran my fingers over the pretty blooms, smiling to myself. I’d have to get them some water. But I should check on Erramun first.

However, it was suspicious how quiet everything was. I paused for a minute by the door to the bedroom, listening to see if I could hear anything beyond. I had assumed such a behemoth would be a snorer, though I guess that was rather small minded of me to think so. It was also, I realized, possibly silly of me to assume he would even be asleep. I had been gone for hours, perhaps he had woken, if he had slept at all. I pushed aside the fearful thoughts of what he had been doing this entire time if he had not been sleeping.

I hesitated with my hand over the handle. If he was asleep, would my entering wake him? And if he wasn’t… My face felt hot with the sudden reminder of a pair of dimples at the base of his spine. Not to mention the rest of that scene permanently burned into the backs of my eyelids. I glanced around the foyer once more, still trying to decide. Working to calm my suddenly racing pulse. Then chided myself with the reminder yet again that these were my rooms. If he was naked again, well then, I’d just have to scold him better this time. And… maybe I could get a better look. I scoffed silently, pushing away that thought as wholly undesirable and the heavy blush that accompanied it. Giving the handle a solid downward yank and shoving the old bedroom door open with my shoulder.

I had barely started to draw in a breath for a proper greeting when I released it suddenly in a loud shout instead, my body jerking forward with a sudden intruding force acting upon it. My hands went up defensively, the candle abandoned to gravity, as I reached for the sudden weight dropping on my shoulder.

Muscle memory took over then, and it was a blur as my hands found purchase. I shifted my weight, dropping my shoulder down and bending at the knees to use the larger form’s already moving momentum to my advantage as it went to grab me and send its weight forward. Then, a quick twist and a sweep of my foot had it flipping the rest of the way with a abrupt and heavy THUD that even managed to shake the room a little.

I blinked rapidly in the dark left behind by the now doused candle that had clattered to the floor, trying to make out whatever I had just laid low on the ground. My heart racing in my chest, my blood pounding in my ears. A muffled groan broke through the adrenaline, and I nearly scoffed in exasperation. Remembering that there weren’t actually a lot of possibilities.

“Erramun!” I snapped at the large half-orc currently splayed out on my bedroom floor at my feet. “What in the nine HELLS do you think you are doing??”

“Gana!” He said in surprise, tugging at his hand still in my grip. “It’s you!”

“Of course it’s me!! Who else would it be??”

“I thought you were someone else!”

“In my personal rooms, you big idiot??” I retorted, then looked down, realizing I had twisted his arm back with his elbow facing out and his shoulder turned in the way Niko had shown me. Leaving the half-orc completely at my mercy. I was sorely tempted to twist it a little further in my ire. “Who do you think would be just randomly coming in here other than me??”

The dark shadow at my feet gave a growl, and I gave a startled yelp as suddenly I found my own feet swept out from under me. I landed heavily on my back with a gasp, too surprised to react properly. A meaty hand on one shoulder, and the rest of a big orc pining me down with his body crouched over mine.

“I dunno. Could’ve been anyone.” He grumbled, and I saw the glint of his eyes in the dark. “This place is very odd.”

His dark hair spilled like water around us, and I had to take a few moments to calm my swirling thoughts as the smell of him filled my nose. Not to mention the heat of his body, with his big thigh on my left and the other between my own legs. One hand was firmly planted on my shoulder, half-pining me to the floor, the other held one of my hands flattened to the ground by the wrist. I wriggled for half a second beneath him, then stopped dead as I heard him snort.

“Not many can get the jump on an orc.” He noted, sounding heavily amused. I thought I could see the flash of his teeth. “But nobody can best them in actual combat even if they do.”

My temper flared at that, and I twisted sharply. Reaching up with my free hand to catch the back of his neck and burying one knee straight up. Catching his inner thigh and with a sharp upward jerk at the same time as I yanked hard with my hand. Toppling him off balance just enough to use my own weight to flip the tides once more. Using his greater weight and size to roll myself with him.

Another breath later, and Erramun was back on his back, and I glared down at him with a small but satisfied scowl etched into my brow.

“Must not apply to half orcs.” I replied smugly.

I couldn’t see him well at first in the low light of the moon filtering in from the balcony window, but at least now my eyes were finally adjusting properly. I could make out the edge of his jaw, the breadth of his shoulders in the cream colored tunic. The side of his face closer to the window was also mostly visible. His black hair caught the moonlight with dazzling strands of silver, and I was pretty sure I saw his pronounced brow raise up. Thought I saw even a bit of the white in his eyes as he widened them. I could distinctly see them blink very slowly after that, and saw his wide nose flair. In fact, I could feel his entire chest rise and fall as he drew in a deep breath.

It was then my brain decided it fit to recall that I was currently sitting directly on top of the half-orc. My knees barely reached the ground on either side of him, my skirts bunched up at my thighs, and my hand was still cupped around the back of his neck. I had managed to free my other hand from his grip, and had his wrist now pinned above his head. Which brought me leaning perilously close. My own wild hair cascaded down like a net around my shoulders, and I realized my face was not all that far from his.

It seemed he had realized this same fact a that exact moment as well. We stared at each other for a long, quiet breath. Frozen in place. I found myself wondering distractedly how well Erramun could see in the dark. Was I just a shape bathed in a silver outline as he was? Or could he see the way I hovered over him, with the collar of my dress dangling a few inches from his shirt, baring the top of my chest to him? Could he see the expression on my face? And if he could, was he any better at reading it than I was at the moment? Could he see the flush of my cheeks, and hear the race of my pulse at his proximity?

I abruptly and quickly pushed away from him. Shoving him so hard in my retreat that he gave another soft grunt as I stood. My face was burning hot, despite my better judgement, and my head swirled as I tried to compose myself once more.

“You’re an idiot.” I grumbled defensively, smoothing my hands down my skirts as I took a few steps away.

“You’re impressive.” He returned, his voice a bit breathy. I saw him sit up, propping his knees and leaning on his elbows over them. “You fight better than some orcs I’ve met.”

“I thought no one could best an orc.” I chided him, carefully making my way over to the bedside table to find a fresh candle. “What are you even doing out of bed? I thought you were supposed to be resting.”

It took only a short minute of fumbling to light the candle, and when I turned to face him once more, he was still sitting on the ground. Looking up at me with emerald green eyes and his long locks spilling over his shoulders. He grinned a little sheepishly, and I had to force my heart to beat again in its wake.

“Some people can best an orc.” He said, as if deciding on it in that moment, then chewed at his thick lip thoughtfully. “Some people can beat some orcs.” He amended, and those lips split back into a wry, crooked grin. “And I got tired of resting. I’ve been resting for hours.”

“So you decided to tackle someone instead?”

His grin grew by a few molars, and I eyed him warily. “It was fun. At least for a moment.” He winced, and his hand went to his injured side. “I think I may have torn it open again.”

“Serves you right.” I grumbled, walking around to light a few more candles around the room. “Perhaps you should just stay on the floor all night then. Seeing as you seem to like being there. At least I’d get my bed back.”

He chuckled, and I heard him give a soft huff as he pulled himself back to his feet. When I shot him a glance over my shoulder, he was using the bedpost to steady himself. I watched him blink a few times, then shake his head stubbornly. I scoffed with a click of my tongue, putting down the candle in my hand and bustling over to him.

“Let me see.” I ordered him, reaching for the edge of his shirt.

He grunted, but didn’t argue, pulling up the hem over his navel. Exposing the wrappings to my critical eye. There was a spotting bloom of pink at the center, and I ran my fingers lightly around the edge thoughtfully.

“Well, the good news is I don’t think you made it worse.” I commended him, unable to resist the urge to skim my fingers over his skin a little. Checking to see if it was hot with infection, I assured myself. “The bad news is you’re still an idiot.”

He laughed again, and I felt it in my fingers currently pressed against his flesh. I straightened slightly, reluctantly removing my hand and trying to ignore the fresh flush that rose to my own face. Perhaps I was the one coming down with an infection instead, I reasoned distractedly.

I almost jumped as his hand came around, catching mine as it retreated. My eyes jumped to his face, and he tilted his head to the side slightly as he peered down at me. Those thick lips of his twisted into a fresh smirk, one side higher than the other. I resisted the urge to quiver at the sight.

“Lucky then that I have you, Gana.” He mused. “You have brains enough for the both of us.”

“And brawn.” I quipped, which only had his grin growing. I shuffled in place, glancing down at our hands before carefully pulling mine back. “Still. No more tackling people in the dark, agreed? Damjan won’t be happy if I return his tunic with blood stains all over it.”

Erramun nodded, slowly pulling his borrowed shirt back down. “Who is Damjan?”

I hesitated only a brief moment, turning to walk over to sit at the edge of the bed. “He’s the General of the goblin forces. Retired, supposedly. But that’s his wardrobe you’re wearing.”

That had a small flash of surprise rolling across his features. “He is large for a goblin then. Or is he human?”

I shook my head, then gave him a small grin of my own. “He’s goblin. Half-goblin at least. And half-orc.”

“Orc?” He echoed, and I wasn’t sure if it was nervousness or excitement that laced his voice. His smile had quickly faded.

I nodded, considering him. “Yes. He grew up here though. I don’t know if he’s ever met another orc. Though I suppose he must have at some point.”

Erramun nodded as well, chewing on his lip as he stared at the ground. I could almost see the thoughts swirling behind his eyes. I couldn’t help but notice that he looked a little relieved. I leaned forward on my hands currently propped at the edge of the bed.

“You avoiding all orcs at the moment?” I poked, curious despite myself.

His gaze darted up to me, then he shrugged his big shoulders, coming around to the edge of the bed slowly. “Just most.”

I tried not to stiffen as he sat next to me, the mattress depressing almost to the frame with his added weight. “Any particular reason why?” I asked warily. “You aren’t on the run, are you?”

The soft chuckle in his chest rumbled like distant thunder, and I felt goosebumps skitter across my flesh at the sound. He glanced at me again, then down at the floor.

“I worry they might try to stop me. If they found out.”

I waited for him to go on, to explain that further. When I was answered with nothing but silence, I shifted in my seat. Debating only for a moment whether or not I cared enough to pry further. But the curiosity proved too much, and I even leaned a little closer to him.

“Found out about what?”

He glanced at me again, and I froze as his eyes ran over my face. Especially the way he seemed equally distracted for a moment as his gaze met mine. I wasn’t sure how much time passed before he finally spoke. But found myself releasing a breath I hadn’t known I was holding when he did.

“Let’s just say I’ve got something to prove to my family.” He mumbled, then his eyes finally dropped away and he shifted. “We should leave it at that. I don’t want you to think I’m stupid.”

His voice was strangely soft again. The way it had been when he had first mentioned the plight of his people at the border. With that same look I had seen a hundred times before on my brother’s faces. The weight of a thousand weights, I called it. I didn’t quite like his face in that shape. It made him seem older, more tired. It hurt me a little to see that look on him, when usually his eyes were filled with such vigor and bravado. I leaned a little closer, nudging his shoulder with mine until he looked up at me again.

“... I already think you’re stupid.” I assured him lightly, and my teasing tones had a smile flicking across his lips again. “But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

He nodded, and I saw his eyes shift between mine for a moment. “Thank you, Gana… You have been very kind to me. And I have given you nothing but trouble.” He leaned a little closer, and my breath caught in my throat. “I would like to give you something else. To repay you.”

It took me far too long to respond with his breath splashing across my face. With his eyes locked in mind. Heat swelled in my chest, and my heart fluttered behind it. I swallowed slowly, trapped in those emerald eyes of his.

“... Oh yeah?” I fumbled my lips around the soft words. “What would you give?”

He paused a moment, and I felt the bed shift beneath us as he adjusted his weight. Somehow managing to shift even closer to me.

“What would you like? What can I give you, that would make you happy?”

I laughed shyly, glancing down. Away from those entrancing eyes. “I don’t want for much here.” I assured him, my heart thrumming in my ears.

“Surely there must be something you don’t have. Something you want?” He pressed, his voice still whisper soft.

My hands twitched, and I brought them together to cup in my lap. Thumbing at one as I stared down at them. So aware of his proximity I couldn’t seem to draw in a deep enough breath for fear of pulling it from his lungs.

“Freedom.” I admitted quietly. “... To go where I want. To see the world.”

“I can give you that.”

I scoffed, shaking my head. “No one can give me that.”

“But I can take you with me.” He pressed. “I can bring you back to my home. It is wild and untamed. That is a start at least.”

I glanced up at him again, and found him closer than I had left him previously. He was leaning on one hand, twisted at the waist. Almost at my eye level with the gentle bow of his broad shoulders and the relaxed curve of his spine. If I moved too quickly our noses might brush together. I kept my breath trapped in my throat. I saw his eyes move, and my face suddenly blazed hot.

Abruptly, I stood, putting a few steps between us. Squeezing at my palm for a moment and feeling horribly, horribly foolish. It took a breath to steady myself, but I turned back for him.

“... You are not here to promise adventures to silly girls in castle towers.” I reminded him bitterly.

He started for a moment at that, staring at me a little wide eyed. The candlelight danced in those eyes, and I had to look away. I made the pretense of picking up the broken candle from the floor where I had dropped it earlier. I ran my thumb over the smooth wax, trying to calm my racing heart.

“No, I’m not.” He admitted, and my efforts were demolished by the skip of my heart at the regret in his tone. “... But if you help me win the Princess, then I can still give you want you want.”

I almost laughed, shaking my head and feeling the sinking weight of his words deep in my chest. Reminding myself why this man was even here in the first place, and chiding myself silently for forgetting. Trying to swallow the sudden disappointment in my throat.

“I can’t help you do that.”

“You’re the only one who can.” He pleaded. “I don’t know this world. I don’t know these people, but I need to. I need to be better, to be bigger than I am. It’s the only way to help my own people. I see that now. My plan was foolish, and I cannot do it alone.”

I was already shaking my head before he had finished speaking. “I cannot help you win the Princess.” I told him firmly, stubbornness lacing my breath. Still refusing to look up at him.

“Fine. Not the Princess.” He agreed, and I heard the creak of the bedframe as he stood. “Then help me learn to be someone worthy of her. Of this court. Teach me how to impress the Kings. How to talk without saying anything. How to dress, how to speak. How to be… human. And goblin, if needed.”

I did laugh now, and turned to toss the candle to a pile of rubbish to be taken out later. “That’s ridiculous. You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“So teach me.” He insisted, and his voice was closer. Somewhere only a few steps behind me. “Teach me to be better than I am, to be human enough to be at this court, to pass for one of the goblins, and I will take you far away from this place when I leave. I’ll even tell you stories of all the places I’ve been and the things I’ve seen in the meantime.”

I jumped as his hand grazed my elbow, and spun to face him once more. He peered down at me quietly for a long moment. Then his lopsided smile returned, and I felt my heart skip.

“I can’t give you your freedom, Gana.” His eyes sparkled with determination. “But I can give you the chance to take it.”

Excitement surged in my chest, and I felt the heat of my blood rushing through my veins. I felt the familiar itch; to run. To just go, to leave this place and never look back. To be out there, in the world where I so longed to be. I couldn’t quell the intensity of my desire, and felt it seep throughout my entire core. I saw his grin grow, and wondered if he could see it in my eyes. I chewed it over, trying to keep a level head. Trying to think it through.

“... No Princess? Just-”

“Just teaching.” He assured me. “Even if it doesn’t work, and the goblin Princess doesn’t like me and I go home, I’ll still take you with me.” His head cocked to the side. “If you want to go.”

It would never work. I had managed to smuggle him in, but I was only here for a month or two. Could I even smuggle him back to Geriveria? Or could I leave with him at the end, like he promised? Niko would never allow it. He’d send half of the Kingdom after me, and Val wouldn’t be far behind. Even Grier would think this was crazy. I didn’t know this man! I had no idea where he had come from, or what kind of person he was. And how was I supposed to keep him from figuring out who I really was? Once he found out that he couldn’t even use anything I’d taught him, surely he’d be mad. He would not keep his promise. Besides, how was I supposed to keep him hidden from my brother, the goblin King, my nosy nieces and nephews, my ladies-in-waiting, and everyone else in the entire castle? It was insane! It was dangerous! If I was caught, if Niko found out, if anyone saw him, who knows what they would do! And even if I could manage all that, two months was hardly enough time to train some wildling everything it had taken me a lifetime to learn. It was impossible. The odds were far too high, and the chances of success so slim I couldn’t even see them.

I felt a grin sliding across my face at the challenge raised, and felt my heart skip excitedly in my breast.

“You’ve got yourself a deal.”

To be continued ...

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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years

Text

OBEY ME! LESSON 55 DETAILED SUMMARY AND DISCUSSION/THEORIES

*I wrote this days after the lesson was first posted and never bothered to go back and edit it so meaning there will be me theorizing about the next lesson as well

*I write a small para for each chapter and I write it immediately after finishing that chapter so there’ll be theorizing about the next chapter too

*I swear more than usual here

*Some of the dialogue is heavily plagiarized and a few is lifted directly from the story, the game is to figure which is which.

*Summaries and Discussions/theories for all the other lessons can be found on this blog under #obey me spoilers or #my theories or #my headcanons

OKAY! So first off the background for this is absolutely gorgeous and shows a real demon. You know the kind you’d imagine an actual demon to look like and everything’s dark (black, grey, brown) there’s a castle on a mountain like area with a narrow suspended pathway leading to it, there are crows flying around and a person in a robe pointing what looks like a lit wand at a snarling attacking demon, there are skulls and what looks like weapons on the ground and my favourite part: a person in a long robe, kneeling on the ground, covering the top of their face with their hands and wailing to the sky. It’s all tailor made to my taste and I love it! There’s one locked lesson.

It’s breakfast time and Asmo & Beel are heading to an all you can eat global sweet sampler, MC questions it and Asmo says you can get desserts from all over the world there and Asmo’s hoping to live stream it. Asmo invites MC but Mammon interjects asking them to come see “cute horsies” with him. “’Horsies.’ He’s so pretentious. Shut up, it’s the fucking horse race. ‘Horsies.’” Says Levi. Levi invites MC to a real life TSL themed escape room (that sounds really fun tbh), Satan invites them to come watch the sci-fi movie they were talking about, in their home theatre. (he’s actually watched it 3 times already but he read online theories about it and now he wants to see if he can catch the basis for those theories in the movie). They all start arguing about it (except Beel who’s just eating) when MC gets a text from Diavolo congratulating them on their 5th star and wishing them luck for the other 2 and inviting them to an amusement park date. Everyone – MC included – is kind of baffled by the one on one date with Diavolo. They ask any of the others if they want to tag along but they all refuse but Beel asks if MC can take Belphie along since he hasn’t really left the house in a while and Beel’s worried. MC texts asking if they can bring Belphie along too and Diavolo says the more the merrier and I just know this is gonna end in disaster like did Belphie ever even resolve all the problems he had with Diavolo back in S1?

Beel drags Asmo along to wake Belphie up because a.) he doesn’t want Asmo to leave to the sweets thing without him b.) they need all the help they can get to wake him up. MC suggests using force and Asmo happily volunteers to grab Belphie, turn him over and drop him on the ground, Beel says they can’t do this to poor Belphie cause Beel’s a sweetheart, and says the most force he’ll allow them to use is by tickling Belphie, which Asmo then does. It doesn’t work so Asmo says if they’re gonna use force they should do something like this right before he screams “ASMO DIIIIIIVE!!!” and jumps on top of Belphie as Beel protests and I love that despite what you’d assume from his aesthetic and despite what Asmo would like you to believe he’s a lot more rough and tumble and violent (I just really love the sweet with hidden edges trope as much as I love the jerk with a gooey centre trope). Belphie says ow and Asmo brightly and sweetly cheers that he woke up as if just seconds ago he hadn’t used a wrestling move on his sleeping baby brother. Beel says that though Belphie’s body is awake his mind isn’t (relatable), Beel fixes Belphie’s bedhead and Asmo complains that Belphie’s a stereotypical spoilt brat youngest child and says that Diavolo obviously would’ve wanted a one on one day with MC. Beel says he knows and it’s another reason he wanted Belphie to go. Asmo agrees saying that after everything if MC chooses their boss over any one of the seven guys MC actually lives with it’d feel wrong. Asmo tells Belphie to keep an eye on them and not let it turn into a “whirlwind romance”, Belphie just asks for his pillow and Asmo’s upset cause he doesn’t feel confident about the plan now. Poor Diavolo being constantly cockblocked

On the way Belphie complains about being forced to do this when his schedule is just as busy but MC says all he does is sleep and he says because naps are important to him and he takes them seriously. He wishes he could go back home and asks why of all the demons he had to be stuck with Diavolo (so guess those issues are still around good to know). MC asks if he still dislikes Diavolo cause of his fondness for humans and Belphie says he’s fully gotten over that whole human genocide phase which is great to have confirmed. They ask why he dislikes Diavolo – lots of reasons. He always thinks he’s right and expects to get his way about anything and everything and never listens to anyone’s opinions. He hadn’t bothered to listen to Belphie back when the exchange program had been proposed and Belphie was against it (and I mean to be fair back then Belphie was 100% okay with killing the entire human race for no reason other than the fact that he blamed them for Lilith’s death when really they had nothing to do with it and it was definitely the angels’ fault. I mean I don’t think I would have listened to him either and he really does have the spoilt youngest kid personality. I think out of all the brother’s Belphie’s the one who has the fondest memories of the Celestial Realm – probably helped by the fact that Lilith was still alive then – which is why he never blamed them for what happened and instead directed all his anger at the humans) Lucifer hadn’t let Belphie plead his case (what case Belphie!? That all humans should die!?) and that Diavolo’s surrounded by demons like Barbatos and Lucifer who shield him from criticism (and yeah I agree that this is true and that it’s a bad thing but Lucifer wasn’t shielding Diavolo from criticism when he refused to let Belphie plead his case, he was protecting Belphie cause if Diavolo found out Belphie wanted to kill humans he would have thrown him in jail like he did back at the end of S1 and MC you dumb fuck can you pls tell all this to Belphie) and that Diavolo doesn’t understand that he’s been saved from criticism and Belphie hates that about him and he shudders at the thought of spending the day with Diavolo. On the way they run into Simeon and tell him where they’re going, he says Luke’s been wanting to go there since he saw a ad for it and MC says they could take Luke along with them but he says Luke’s at a cooking class today but that he’d probably love to hear about it when he gets back. Simeon then takes off saying he has a meeting. Belphie goes to call after Simeon to tell him something and catches a glimpse of the person Simeon was supposed to meet. He’s surprised and says “Is that…” and when MC asks what’s wrong he said he must have just imagined it and that the person Simeon was meeting just looked really familiar and HOLY SHITTTTTTT GUYSSS rfhiefjoSJKWDLDADJSJ was I right are we really gonna get to see angels???? That’s the only explanation, right? It would have had to be Michael or even Raphael and there’s only a few lessons left and this and the next lesson are probably gonna focus on Diavolo and Belphie’s relationship and following the patter MC should get their 6th star next lesson, then the two lessons after that will be their final exam for the 7th star and then the last two lessons will focus on saying goodbye as the brothers go back to the Devildom and all that’s gonna have a lot going on but if they’re teasing the angels being here now could they manage to slip them in or will that be too much? I mean they’ll be introducing a whole new (or two whole new) character(s) and ahhh I’m rambling but pls I need the tension and angst between them and the brothers ok I’m done.

When they get there Belphie complains about how crowded it is and MC tries to look for Diavolo to which Belphie points to a group of fangirls surrounding Diavolo. Diavolo answers them sweetly and one of them says he’s even better looking irl and another shyly asks if he wants to walk around with them. Belphie cuts that short by barging in and asking Diavolo what’s going on, Diavolo happily greets Diavolo and one of the girls realises that Belphie called Diavolo ‘lord’. Diavolo apologises to them and said he’s already made plans with friends (and ugh he’s so sweet I love him just wanna give him a big hug I bet he gives great hugs), the girls are very understanding and sweet about it and they leave. Belphie’s a lil shit and says “Aww, too bad, Lord Diavolo. I’d hate to interrupt just as they were hitting on you…” and Diavolo laughs it off saying it wasn’t like that (and can Diavolo not understand sarcasm or does he just ignore it? Both seem highly likely) Belphie disagrees and says they were clearly hitting on him and Diavolo changes the subject and says he can’t believe Belphie actually came, MC explains why and Diavolo says it’s understandable that Beel was worried after Belphie hadn’t left the house in a week (Me, who hasn’t left the house in almost a year: :’) ) Belphie says he knows Diavolo wanted a date with MC but too bad cause now Belphie’s gonna third wheel them. Diavolo tells Belphie not to be ridiculous and that he’s happy that Belphie came (and the thing is other than a small twinge of disappointment this is probably the truth). Belphie says that it probably won’t be a good idea to go around calling him “Lord” Diavolo given the way the girls reacted, Diavolo says he can just call him by his name since he wouldn’t mind but Belphie says he himself would mind and anyway if Lucifer or Barbatos found out Belphie wasn’t using his proper title they’d kill him. So Belphie suggests a nickname which Diavolo’s really happy about and MC suggests DD (they can also suggest John or Cap’n), Diavolo adores it and asks them to call him it all the time hereafter (I want to give him a hug so badly). Diavolo then happily and with lots of exclamation points goes on to say that it’s time to let their hair down and that Barbatos had made minute to minute schedule for them to follow so that they could enjoy the park to the fullest and Belphie says he wants to go home

Diavolo keeps unsuccessfully trying to get Belphie to wear a themed headband and take a group photo, saying he also wants to wear the headband on a boat ride and the ferris wheel. Diavolo gives MC sad puppy dog eyes (which I’m sure he uses successfully on Lucifer regularly, but that don’t affect Barbatos at all) and MC can’t refuse, asking Belphie if there’s anything that’ll get him to change his mind. He says no but he’s not stopping the others from doing it, Diavolo says since they’re here as a group they all should do it, Belphie snaps saying he doesn’t like how Diavolo’s using MC as a tool to bend Belphie to his will and he says he’s going home. Diavolo tries to stop him but he marches off and Diavolo drags MC off to chase after Belphie. Diavolo grabs Belphie by the arm outside the park and begs for a chance to apologize, Belphie denies it and tries to free his arm. Diavolo refuses to let him go saying he should have listened to and considered Belphie’s opinions now as well as in the past, Belphie’s shocked and MC asks Belphie to just hear Diavolo out. He agrees but tells them not to have any expectations of what this’ll accomplish.

Belphie says he doesn’t want to wear the headband or take pics and that he’s only gonna ride what he wants to, Diavolo agrees with all that. He asks if Belphie will stay with them and Belphie agrees and Diavolo is just so brightly stupidly happy and I can completely understand how he was able to make Lucifer question his entire world view. Diavolo’s so happy he starts waving Belphie’s arm around unconsciously and then asks Belphie what rides he wants to go on as they make their way back inside, Belphie doesn’t answer instead he’s blushing and annoyed and asks Diavolo to let go of his hand. Belphie wants to ride ‘The Twisting Freefall of Death II’, MC & Diavolo would like to not freefall to their death thank you very much. Belphie quotes the ride as being, “the single most terrifying experience in the world where you’ll scream for mercy and receive none” Diavolo says, “Did you say scream for mercy…” Belphie happily agrees. Diavolo turns to his last hope, MC, and asks how they feel about this. I like to imagine that even MC has a line where their lacking self-preservation will kick in. Belphie just smiles saying it won’t actually kill them (this would have been more reassuring coming from someone who didn’t once murder MC but whatever.) They can also ask Diavolo how feels about it. After the ride Belphie’s cackling loudly and gushing about how great it was. He’s especially happy about the look on Diavolo’s face during the ride, saying he’s never seen it before (probably the look of a demon praying to God for mercy). MC can say that Belphie seemed to be having a lot of fun, cheer how the ride was the best or say they thought they were going to die. For the 3rd option Belphie very cheerfully says MC’s alive and ok. Belphie asks Diavolo how it was only to realise Diavolo’s missing. He fell off the ride at its highest peak. He’s dead.

They’ve tried texting Diavolo but he doesn’t read them. Belphie wonders what kind of person actually gets lost in an amusement park unless they’re 5. Then he says “…is that what it is? Is he actually 5 yrs old?” He remembers that mammon got lost in a park once too and says the only thing the two of them have in common is that they’re both basically children, They then run into my favourite character in the entire game – the butcher (is2g this man needs to become a recurring side character) who is here with his wife and daughter. He asks them if the rest of the harem is here too and Belphie lets him know that unfortunately they’re here with a new inductee who got lost. The butcher offers to help and asks for a description. MC says he’s the owner of the corvo hotel chain and the butcher wonders who the fuck are these people in the first place to know someone like that and then because the butcher’s the sweetest person alive he too starts worrying about diavolo, scared that he might have gotten kidnapped. Belphie says “there’s no one in the human world oh shit I mean THE WORLD. THE NORMAL WORLD ALL US HUMANS - BECAUSE WE ALL ARE HUMANS - LIVE IN” the butcher now probably used to how weird this cult is (because they definitely are a satanic cult with their extremely obvious demon names, how weird and unused to normal life they are, 7 of them being obviously infatuated by the eighth one but the butcher’s not gonna bring this up cause with the amount of meat they buy from him he could keep his family afloat for years AND pay for his daughters college tuition) ignores this and says he hasn’t seen Diavolo but advices them to check the information desk and ask them to page Diavolo over the loudspeakers. They thank him and Belphie promises to stop by with Beel later, the butcher says he’ll see him then and tells them to take care (I love this man). Barbatos text MC asking how they’re doing and which itinerary of his they’re following cause yes apparently he made more than one and telling them he trusts them to take care of diavolo (and I can’t believe it took me this long to realise Barbatos is a helicopter parent). MC leaves him on read. Lucifer then texts them saying Satan told him where they’d gone and telling them that since the two of them are with Diavolo he assumes he’s okay but just to clarify make sure nothing happens to Diavolo. MC leaves him on read. Belphie says that Barbatos and Lucifer are way too overprotective. Barbatos and MC then realise how fucked they are if either of them find out that they’ve lost diavolo and so decide to skip the whole loudspeaker thing.

They can decide if they want to check by the lake, the ferris wheel or the last ride they went in. He’s not at the lake and they choose to take a boat across the lake to get to the ferris wheel cause it’s faster than going around it. Belphie actually enjoys the boat ride and asks if the two of them can just enjoy themselves together for a bit instead of looking for Diavolo, MC says “I’m worried about Diavolo also can you not remember how fucked we are if we don’t find him”. Belphie gets jealous that MC seems to care more about Diavolo than him (they’re just been practical! If the roles were reversed they’d have shut Diavolo down to look for you!) and says that even they have a real soft spot for Diavolo (He’s like a giant golden retriever!!). There’s an announcement over the loudspeaker for MC and ‘Snoozy’ saying that DD’s waiting for them at the info desk. Belphie’s not happy about ‘snoozy’ (understandable)

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well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now · 3 years

Note

I'm here, queer, and I want a summary for the new lesson (whenever you get around to playing it of course)!

-35 Anon

NEW FIC + LESSON 44 SUMMARY

Hii! I'm sorry this took like a week BUT as an apology/compensation I wrote a lil' something based off this lesson :D ;

Familiar Strangers

Mammon gets a little more time with the strange angel his little brothers picked up and picks up a few things of his own.

ok ok so this lesson holy shit??? This is probably one of my favourite lessons!? It just gives so much and ahhh it was so good! It gives more angel backstory and lore, shows what got Levi into anime in the first place and answers the question I asked in the previous lesson summary; about why Mammon made a pact with MC in the first place when he said in lesson 43 that he wouldn't make a pact with a random human. And look i'm too excited to wait to reveal this in the end (plus with the way om lessons are structured there won't be a big reveal, just a gradual realisation) so im gonna reveal it here immediately.

LESSON 44 SPOILERS

MC once again fucked up the timeline :')

MC's the one who got Levi into anime in the first place. (but the only reason they got him into anime was cause they already knew he liked anime but he liked anime only because they got him into it and so on and so on, one whole horrid circle)

A time paradox was already in play at the very beginning of S1, meaning MC's first meeting with the brothers was never in S1 but instead thousand of years before the main storyline even began. Meaning MC was never a random human and holy shit???????

I'll talk more about MC and Mammon's pact after I summarise everything, as well as about their sins and their lives in the Celestial Realm Vs the Devildom cause everything is blowing my mind . Additionally, even though Mammon shares more or less equal screentime with his brothers in this lesson it adds a ton of character depth to him and i adore it.

Ok so the lesson starts with;

Mammon, Beel, Satan & MC bursting into Asmo's room. Mammon yelling about how he's gonna kill Asmo cause of the leak, only to find his room empty. They check his bathroom (which in my humble opinion is the first place they should have checked, but then again this is asmo so maybe they wanted to keep that as the worst case scenario option), MC says they should turn the water off immediately and mammon confirms that yeah if lucifer is actually still alive and finds out about this all of them will be murdered on the spot. They find Asmo passed out in the bathroom. MC uses the healing spell they learn back in s2 to take away some of his pain. All 3 brothers seem very worried and when Beel asks Asmo if he's okay, he says that he's not but that MC kissing him may make him better (my man's on his death bed and still tryna smash, an absolute icon). Mammon immediately tells Asmo to go die, and Beel says he shouldn't have worried about Asmo cause it was a waste of energy. and look that instant turnabout is peak comedy :'). Asmo calls them out on being assholes and that he does still feel dizzy and Satan says that if he's able to joke about he's fine. Asmo says that he still wants to sleep it off and that he wants MC with him. Satan once again proving that he's the best brother says that him and Mammon will go make soup, Beel will clean the bathroom and that MC can take Asmo to bed. Asmo gushes about how good Satan is and Satan blushes (a year ago this sentence would have been so messed up wtf happened). in bed MC ends up telling Asmo all about their day and Asmo gets sad about not being able to go to the cafe, MC complains about Simeon being a sadist who put them to work (or they can invite Asmo to come the next time) and Asmo says he's jealous that he wasn't there to see them all suffer. Asmo says that while he was asleep he had a dream that he was still an angel and that it's been so long since he's seen Michael who was stunningly beautiful and who was gushing about lucifer, and that he was glad he didn't run into raphael cause he scared him. MC falls asleep while Asmo talks.

MC is woken up in a bright forest by angel Asmo, who asks them what they were doing sleeping in a place like that and says he has never seen MC before. MC can ask him what he's doing dressed like an angel or can ask him if he's actually asmo. He basically says either i've always looked like this unless you're talking about my nails which i painted a different colour or duh obviously you know who i am, who doesn't. He then asks MC who they are. They can ask him if he has forgotten them or if he's kidding. He says either that if they'd met before he wouldn't have forgotten them or that he always means what he says even if people think he's kidding and then asks for their name. MC can ask if they are dreaming - Asmo takes it as them flirting with him/using a cheesy pickup line which he thinks is adorable - or they can ask where they are - the celestial realm. Asmo asks them if they work for Raphael cause Asmo had snuck into the human world to go to 'something called a party' which he had never been to before and that he'd had a lot of fun. But that raphael says 'it's a wicked and immoral thing'. He then asks MC what they think. MC gets to either say that it's up to him to decide or to agree with raphael. If you choose the first option Asmo is suprised, and then says that since it was so much fun it'd be a tragedy never to experience it again and that he thinks he should be allowed to have fun. Asmo had found MC while he was hiding from Raphael who was pissed about the party. Asmo goes to propose something to MC but gets cockblocked by Beel. Asmo asks beel if he could open the celestial realm gates, beel says no and then asks who the fuck MC is. Asmo introduces Beel as a cherubim and a guardian of the gates of the Celestial Realm. And says that Beel is a very famous angel, and that there's a rumour that lucifer recommended Beel to be promoted to seraphim. Beel says that lucifer hasn't mentioned it to him and that it's just a rumour. Beel asks MC if they are okay and if Asmo has tried anything on them cause Asmo hits on anything that moves. Asmo gets pissed and says that it's not that he'd happily sleep with anyone but that he cares about who they are and that he feels love towards everyone he meets. And that the reason everyone loves him so much is cause he loves everyone due to his ability to see the good in people. Beel changes the subject by telling MC they look hungry and offers them a few sweets he got from Michael. MC basically goes wtf why aren't you eating them. He says he's not hungry and that he has eaten too much recently and gained weight and is now on a diet. MC probably looks like they had a stroke cause Beel asks if they are okay. MC tells him that they like the fact that he eats a lot. Beel blushes before asking Asmo if that's a compliment and if he's supposed to thank MC. Asmo who's pissed off snaps at beel about MC and Beel flirting while ignoring him. Beel says he came here looking for belphie.

Beel proceeds to shake a tree until Belphie falls out... Belphie takes one look at MC and asks what the fuck a human is doing in the celestial realm (i forgot that this was back when he still liked humans and thought we were back to square one and he was about to start throwing hands). MC can say 'You think I lool like a human?' vs "Excuse me? What are YOU doing here?'. for the second option Belphie just says screw you I asked first. For the first he's confused that they are not, Asmo saves MC's ass either by telling Belphie to go get his eyes checked while Beel says MC's an angel. Belphie says he does detect angelic vibes from MC (Lilith's bloodline???) but also something humanlike. Asmo says Belphie probably senses that cause all he ever thinks about are humans and Belphie says it's cause humans are interesting and wishes he was born as a human. Asmo yells at Belphie not to say things like that cause if Raphael finds out they'd be in trouble. Beel asks what they are gonna do about their new lost angel and Asmo asks if they can keep MC. Belphie says no cause they're supposed to bring lost angels to Lucifer (how often do angels get lost????). MC gets to choose whether they want to go with Beel, Belphie or Asmo to find lucifer. I chose Beel cause he was anyway going back to Lucifer with Belphie (⚡⚡Efficiency🌟🌟) which is when belphie finds out lucifer's looking for him cause he skipped a meeting. '???' cuts in with a "Mmhm, I THOUGHT I heard some awfully familiar voices..." it turns out to be Mammon who's been looking for all of them (minus MC for a change and isn't that the weirdest thing to happen in all this).

Asmo scolds Mammon for scaring him and tells him not to appear outta thin air like that (that's such a 'Lucifer Trait' tho that i don't think we've seen from Mammon before?) - Mammon says he'll do what he wants. He then asks if MC is Asmo's 'newest plaything'. Asmo says no but can you imagine tho😍 After Belphie and Beel introduce MC as a lost angel, Mammon sounds oddly skeptical and says he's never heard of an "MC" before. Beel introduces Mammon as a throne who acts as Lucifer's assistant. He says that Mammon can be trusted cause outta all the thrones he's Lucifer's most trusted. Asmo says that Mammon used to be a troublemaker and that Michael hadn't known what to do with him but that he's grown into someone who, more than anyone else in the Celestial Realm, can do anything he puts his mind in to. Mammon says he doesn't like the way Asmo introduced him and Belphie says it's true though cause they all thought Mammon was just a step away from being cast out (fdshgfwdygds explains why Lucifer worries so much over Mammon in the present cause he's gone back to being a troublemaker). MC can ask about 1.) the being cast out thing - Mammon says the others are exaggerating even though things have changed. 2.) being a throne - blushing Mammon says that he was an archangel and that Lucifer recommended him as a throne. 3.)question him about being able to do anything - he snaps at them for looking disbelieving and says he's talented. Belphie says mammon used to be awful and ngl these made me laugh - mammon brought back pigeon feathers from the human world and tried to sell them to the lower rank angels by telling them they were Raphael's feathers, he also ordered around the army of angels for fun and said he was playing angel chess. Mammon says they were just innocent pranks and were no big deal and MC ever the enabler agrees with him. Mammon says it seems like MC's actually got some sense and says he likes them and that they're cool. Mammon then stutters and asks MC why they're staring at him 'like that' and imagine the amount of shit going through MC's head at seeing Mammon like this? From all the brothers he's arguably the one they're closest with (even if it's not in a romantic sense) so seeing him in a world where he's respected by his brothers and has this kinda calm confidence that he doesn't have as a demon, imagining what must have happened between then and the present for things to change the way they have, finding out he's still a troublemaker, still wholly Mammon, and just has to squash down those urges here, remembering all the times the more responsible side of him came out as a demon and getting to see a version of himself where that side is more prominent. Seeing him so easily say that he likes them without any of the protests he had as a demon. Realising that Mammon's more 'tsundere' characteristics are all a defense mechanism to protect himself from opening up and being hurt and that in the present after realising they genuinely care about him he starts dropping them. realising that as both an angel and a demon he took a look at them and thought 'this one, i like.' Just!??? Ah. :). Anyway back to the chapter- He starts blushing and tells them to stop staring. Belphie asks Mammon if he wants to be like Lucifer, blushing Mammon asks so what if he does. Belphie says that's never gonna happen so he should give up while he's ahead (made me wanna punch him) and that Mammon is not Lucifer and is instead Mammon and that he can't become something he's not (made me wanna hug him). Mammon tells Belphie to shut up and asks why he cares anyway and that with enough time one day he might do it and that he doesn't care what belphie says and that they should just watch him. and isn't it sad that Mammon will never get that time, and yeah it's a good thing that now as a demon he's just being Mammon without trying to be lucifer but he was never given the time to figure that out for himself and it explains all the issues/complexes Mammon has regarding Lucifer and shit imagine losing MC to the man he respects and loves but who he will always see himself as second best to and who he was always trying to reach, the man he believed he could have become until the fall and until he gave up and let his sin and his more real self takeover?? Since Mammon never had the time to realise that it's better to be yourself than someone else if MC ends up choosing Lucifer he'll always have that 'what if' in the back of his head and that shit hurts dude. MC can then say something about them all really loving Lucifer, Mammon blushes and stutters and said that nobody said anything about loving lucifer. Beel, Belphie and Asmo all say they love Luicfer (but not his lectures). Mammon growls and says he hates them and Asmo calls him out on being really obvious about loving lucifer as well, Mammon blushing says he doesn't. Or they can tell Mammon they're rooting for him. He's suprised and then stutters and blushes and asks if they really will. Then still blushing and stuttering he tells MC to stop staring at him like that again. MC's such a pining idiot i can't handle it. Beel changes the subject and asks why Mammon was looking for them. Lucifer had sent Mammon to find the twins cause Beel never returned with Belphie. He also tells Asmo that Raphael was walking around with his spear looking for him. He then calls them to head to the Celestial Palace. Asmo says that if the Seraphim find out about MC it'll make things worse and who knows what they'll do to all of them. They decide they should hide MC someplace.

Inside the palace Mammon yells at MC to stop looking at everything with wide eyes (did this happen before? when he was showing them around the devildom during the first lesson? I can't remember but my love for parallels is praying it did) cause they're already sticking out by being a bunch of high ranking angels gathered together. Asmo tells Mammon he needs to be nicer. He says that there's no reason to worry cause Lucifer and the others are on the higher floors. Belphie says that this makes it the perfect spot to hide when they wanna skip work. MC says that even angels need a break sometimes. Asmo says the seraphim are bossy and never cut them any slack. Beel asks MC if they are close to any other angels. If MC says Luke no one knows who that is cause the baby hasn't been born yet🥺. If MC says Simeon, Belphie's surprised and Beel says that outta all the Seraphim Simeon's the most easygoing. AND holy shit??? During the last lesson Simeon said he was an archangel which means that he was demoted at some point?????? And considering how close he was with Lucifer and possibly the others as well,,,,,,,,,,could it be possible that he was demoted after the fall? That though he didn't come with them he helped them escape in someway? or looked aside while they escaped? or knew about Lilith and her human? Or knew Lucifer was becoming more disillusioned? Belphie says it's not that Simeon's easygoing but rather that the others are too intense. Mammon asks if they should hand MC over to Simeon and Asmo says another Seraphim would spot them before they reached him. They stop outside their secret room aka the slacking off room. When the door is opened MC and possibly Beel get drenched in water while Belphie, Asmo and possibly Mammon manage to jump away. "???" says that to get entry they need to say the secret phrase.

belphie asks if they really need a secret phrase and levi says they never know when the seraphim will show up, mammon says that if they do show up a secret phrase wouldn't stop them from coming inside. Levi says whatever and asks who MC is. Asmo scolds him for the way he worded the question but still introduces MC. Levi suspects that MC is one of Michael's agents who was sent to verify that levi is 'as much of an useless waste of space as I seem to be'. MC snaps 'That's not true!' and Levi is startled and blushes. And Mammon, holy shit Mammon says what in my humble opinion is one of the funniest lines in the series,: "That's right, Levi. It's not true. I mean, just look at MC's face... See that absentminded stare... like there's nothin' going on upstairs? Does that look like the face of one of Michael's agents? I don't think so." WHY did he have to come for MC so hard!???? this came literally outta nowhere and it made me laugh so hard??? Worst of all? it made me realise a horrid horrid truth; Mammon considers himself a morosexual I'm in tears???? Levi says it's better to be absentminded than to be a waste of space. Belphie says that Levi commanded Lotan and the army of angels in the war against the demons and was basically their general. Beel says that now that the Celestial Realm is at peace Levi feels like he has no purpose. Asmo says that someone from the younger generation took over the Devildom which is why the war ended, though Mammon says the transition isn't official yet. Levi tells them to shut up and Mammon tells him that sitting around being grumpy wouldn't do anything and that he should at least enjoy them being at peace. Levi says that he doesn't wanna hear that crap from Mammon cause Mammon being Lucifer's favourite means he can be an airhead and still have his future secured, while levi would be a dead weight, a leach and a burden to the entire realm without a war to fight (and i mean a lot of what levi said is pretty messed up but Mammon did get promoted from a warrior to Lucifer's right hand possibly after the war was over? while Levi's still a general in a realm at peace). When mammon gets pissed off at Levi's comment the others say that considering this isn't the first time that levi got into one of these moods mammon should just ignore him. Levi immediately latches onto that and says that they shouldn't interact with an useless bore of an angel like him cause it's just a waste of time. MC suggests that Levi find something else he can be passionate about and he says that there's nothing else for him. MC can recommend either anime or manga. since he doesn't know what these are MC then explains it to him in detail. he's interested but doesn't think a boring angel like him could actually get interested in anything like that (oh baby...). Belphie and Asmo are surprised that MC seems to know so much about the human culture when even Belphie doesn't know this much. '???' voice finds them and says it's interesting how much free time they seem to have. Kinda sad to find out that Levi got into anime cause he needed something to make him feel less useless in the aftermath of a war...

The brothers all freak out about being found by lucifer, who yells at Mammon for not bringing the twins to him and at Beel for not bringing Belphie and then at Belphie for oversleeping and missing the meeting and at Asmo, who he says should take care of the situation before he finds himself at 'the pointy end of Raphael's spear. do you think the Seraphim have divisions that they each head? Lucifer doesn't seem inclined to punish Asmo for breaking the rules like he would have in the Devildom and rather lets Raphael take care of it. Mammon trained under Michael before he met Lucifer - so when he was an archangel. And now as an archangel Simeon works for Michael. It's implied previously in this lesson that Lucifer had other thrones working for him. So? Lucifer then asks who MC is. MC says 'I know you' which makes Lucifer's affection meter go up but he says duh obviously you know me, everyone does (and I mean this in the most affectionate way possible but like what a fucking asshole). Asmo introduces MC as a lost angel and says they were planning to find Lucifer. Lucifer asks if they decided to hide MC cause they were scared the other seraphim would find out and this brings up so many questions - How mean exactly are the other seraphim? We know that the brothers are scared of Lucifer but comparatively Asmo's terrified of Raphael and Mammon of Michael. What exactly would the others do to a lost angel? Ik they said simeon was the most easygoing but is it possible Lucifer's the nicest? I mean he did adopt 6 oddball angels, he seems to be trying to help them rise through the ranks, he seems to deal with lost angels regularly, he knows about their slacking off room and hasn't told the others (to be fair tho if anyone needs a slacking off room it's lucifer), they trusted him not to get mad about their room and about the weird 'angel' they found... Mammon changes the subject by asking Lucifer if he was supposed to be heading down to the devildom, when Levi asks why he'd go there, Lucifer says the price is asking to meet with him. Lucifer's says he doesn't like going but that it's his job and that he doesn't have a choice. with the free 50 pulls I got the devilgram about this first meeting and holy shit?? Lucifer was such a bitch and Diavolo STILL took one look at him decided 'damn I'm gonna love this man'?????????? Also the prejudice the angels have against the demons is just??? Lucifer was surprised that education was a thing in the devildom????? The fact that diavolo wanted not just peace but to build a bridge between the three realms and lucifer didn't believe him cause 1.) ew demons are evil but more importantly 2.) 'if that was possible why hasn't my father tried to achieve that?' - just them showing lucifer slowly starting to question everything he was brought up with and his father who looked up to and practically hero-worshipped?? The symbolism of Lucifer finding the devildom clothes he was provided with more comfortable than his angel's armour? Lucifer warming up to diavolo in the end and i dunno guys it was such a good devilgram. i also got the devilgram where lucifer gets jealous of Barbatos, sulks about it, then whines to MC and finally tries to bake cookies for Diavolo... it's not significant to anything i just needed to say that out loud. Back to the main storyline; MC can ask him whether he doesn't like demons or whether he doesn't want to go the devildom. his answer to both is basically 'ew of course not'. He then tells MC he'll ask Michael to help them. MC tells him to have fun with Diavolo and to be friendly. Lucifer is shocked cause it almost sounds like MC knows Diavolo, and he says they're odd cause he feels like even though he just met them it doesn't really feel like that. Asmo agrees and says when he talks to MC it feels like he's talking to someone very dear to him. Mammon's surprised it's not just him who feels that. Belphie says it's a mysterious feeling and Beel says maybe they've all met somewhere before. Levi says maybe MC reminds them of someone they know. Belphie says: "Hey, wait a second. Does MC remind you of Li-" He's cut off by the whole screen going white and '???' saying 'oh dear, what a mess...'

The voice laments about how often Solomon messes shit up, and asks how he could possibly create food that has odd effects on both humans and demons, and that it can't even be classified as food anymore and should be considered a magic potion. They say that Solomon doing these kinda shit without even realising is the worst part. The voice says that MC's consciousness was sent to the past through their dreams cause of Solomon's cooking and that solomon had created an immortality elixir by accident too once. the voice says that despite being a decent human with a good head on his shoulders Solomon can sometimes be more troublesome than the demons cause despite the way he acts he doesn't actually understand his own power. The voice says they'll send MC back home and that they'll forget everything that happened but the effect they had on the brothers as angels will carry on to the future and that in order to ensure the effect doesn't have negative consequences someday the voice will keep an eye on MC from now on. And that the voice will have to think about Simeon as well. They say goodbye until they meet MC again. MC wakes up next to a sleeping Asmo in his bed. When Beel tells them they're finally done cleaning up the bathroom MC tells him they had a wack dream but that they can't remember what it was, Beel says maybe it's something they're better off forgetting. There's a locked chapter that i can't open :')

The lessons over but I've got notes so hear me out!

1. ) The paradox of Mammon and MC's pact- in the previous lesson Mammon said he doesn't make pacts with random humans except as far as we knew then MC was a random human when he made the pact with them. Mammon being the fastest of the brothers also means he could have easily gotten Goldie back without making the pact. This lesson reveals that MC was never a random human and that they'd met thousands of years prior to their 'first meeting' and though neither Mammon nor MC would have remembered that meeting the effect of it would have still carried on. The effect of MC supporting Mammon's schemes and his dreams, the effect of him being flustered by them, of them staring at him in a way that made him blush, of him deciding he liked them, of him feeling like he already knew them and being able to comfortably tease them. And it's probably all of this that led Mammon to make a pact with them. Except MC was stared at him and supported him as an angel cause they already knew him and cared about him as an angel cause they had a pact together and were friends. tldr; the only reason Mammon made a pact with MC was cause they were familiar to him, the only reason they were familiar to him was cause they were nice to him when he was angel, and the only reason they were nice to him as an angel was cause they already had a pact with him and were friends and so on and so on.

2. ) They have so much freedom in the Devildom holy shit??? They went from having a council of scary vaguely sadistic control freaks to just one. They can do whatever they want without any real consequences while in the Celestial Realm a party was seen as something evil? None of them have any real duties in the devildom while they were so busy in the celestial realm they needed a secret room to slack off

3. ) the seraphim seem so much more controlling than diavolo? I mean the man takes any excuse to throw a party and is currently whining about not being allowed to go the human world. While in the celestial realm just talking about wanting to be human is a punishable offence. And yeah sure you could say that I'm comparing the past celestial realm vs the current devildom and that the current celestial realm has probably eased up a lot EXCEPT 01.) in the devilgram with Lucifer's and Diavolo's first meeting Diavolo seems exactly the same as he currently is. 02.) Luke - who is a fairly new angel- 's attitude when he first arrives in the devildom is scarily similar to Lucifer's attitude in the devilgram where he first meets Diavolo 03.) the angel event proves that the Celestial Realm still has a set view on what angels should be like and that the brothers never fit this view

4.) Forming of their sins - the brothers were definitely the odd ones out in the celestial realm even if they were pretty famous and they all had less intense versions of their sins even back then. MC who knows them for only their sins, reinforced them when they were angels which probably led to them embracing these sins more, which would have helped with their fall and with fully developing their sins

5. ) I feel like we might actually get to see michael???? They've been dragging and teasing about finally meeting him for so long.

Pls come talk to me about this lesson! I'm desperate rn i need to hear more thoughts and theories!

#asks #answers #obey me spoilers #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall we date? obey me!#swd obey me #obey me!#obey me mammon #om! mammon #swd mammon #mammon x mc #mammon x reader #my fics #my fic #fics #fic

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soviet-history-detective · 4 years

Text

What is the cost of not respecting boundaries?

(For those who haven’t seen, Part 1 and Part 2) A quick rundown for the people who are wondering what’s going on: Hello, folks. I am one of the leading Chernobyl/Legasov researchers who runs this youtube channel. I found the audio fragments of Legasov tapes which became quite a hit and received praise from Craig Mazin. Legasov tapes, which the migty HBO couldn’t find with their Russian-speaking consultants and millions of dollars of budget. I found rare photos and pre-Chernobyl videos of Legasov, translated a substantial amount of documentary material on Soviet near history topics, a good chunk of that being on Legasov and Chernobyl. I am a live and let live kind of person and I was willing to look the other way with the Valoris shipping business cause “they were shipping the tv show characters and fangirling about the actors” so I ignored it and posted historical information, answered questions, unearthed and translated documentary videos and text material. Then I abruptly stopped and went quiet cause the shipper gang went too far and started writing gross shit, rape fantasies and dragging real people who weren’t even in the tv show into their godawful fics -one of them being someone I highly admire, respect and look up as an inspiration and role model notwithstanding.

They didn’t stick to Valoris, they had to involve the people who were not in the script at all. People whose names they learned from me. They had the audacity to discuss their fucked up fantasies (which they call headcanons) right under my nose, they couldn’t control themselves since they are completely driven by base animal instincts and some of them are downright sociopaths with no boundaries: Rabid and depraved, driven only by the primitive sexual instincts, with a two digit IQ, no understanding of boundaries, ethics, morals, completely bereft of common respect and decency. It’s creepy as hell -run for the hills kind of creepy. (When I say no ethics and morals I don’t mean only sexual perversions. One of them is notorious for plagiarizing other people’s content in multiple social media platforms and acting indifferent when called out.) So I got creeped out, grossed out, infuriated, disillusioned and went quiet. Blocked everyone who was associated with Valoris to avoid their gross thirst talks. Blocked the tag too. Stopped posting new finds after the last Legasov video compilation. Stopped translating videos and text material for a long while.

They are way past normal shipping. This is some seriously fucked up shit. Here are a couple of examples (Warning: Gross content, rape fantasies, scroll past the images and continue reading below if you can’t stomach or are a minor)

Here is more rape:

Their biggest argument is “We are writing fics about the fictionalized tv show characters” which is total and utter bullshit, because:

Nikolai Ryzhkov was not in the tv show at all.

Neither was Vladimir Gubarev. Why are they in those fics?

This isn’t all, there are public posts here where they were bouncing ideas and coming up with the most abhorrent fantasies about a real person who was NOT in the tv show. I don’t have the time to search them, plus they are really gross, you are better off not seeing it. (A paranthesis here: I’m totally indifferent about explicit fics if they involve only fictional characters and not promote rape culture. Just to make things clear.)

If you are using the names of real people, you are shipping real people. Period. I can write a fic using the shipper gang’s names in an alternate reality setting where they are an evil gang of cannibalistic cunts who raid maternity wards and butcher all the babies then burn puppies ad kittens alive for fun. Or I can write a fic where they all get sodomized with saguaro cacti dipped in ghost pepper sauce by sadistic rogue KGB agents. It’s fictionalized versions of them in an alternate universe after all, so it’s totally ok. Right? Well, there really is no point arguing these things, and that is not even the point of this post. I’m just saying it’s fucked up, creepy and wrong in every way.

Not to mention they bully and gaslight people who speak up against them. Grown ass women bullying a 15 year old and adding a transphobic comment after learning they are trans is NOT COOL. @ihatefandomsfuckyouall can testify as the target of their bullying. That’s wrong and creepy as hell.

HOWEVER. Like I said in the previous post, this won’t be about a holy jihad against shipping or some big anti-shipper crusade. Nope, nope and nope with nope sauce.

Ship away, ship all you want, ship till you drop, ship till you turn Fedex green with envy. I am not here to lecture sociopaths driven solely by primitive sexual instincts and bereft of any kind of boundaries, morals, common respect and decency. There is nothing I or anyone can do about it. Like i said, I have no intention of trying to talk sense into anyone or giving sermons. So rest assured that I am well aware it’s pointless and stupid to wage a war against shipping, however gross and vile it is. I can’t stop you from sexualizing anything that walks (or has been long dead) and spewing sick ass fantasies. I will repeat for those with two digit IQ: I know there is nothing I or anyone can do to stop you from doing what you are doing, absolutely nothing. So I will do NOTHING. Got it? Whoever claims otherwise is full of shit, I will do absolutely NOTHING, you got my word 100%.

Seriously I won’t hate on you, I won’t call for holy wars and witch hunts. So, rest assured, I will not make any move against any of you, nope. Besides I don’t have the time for that, I have a busy life and better things to do. No war, no hate, no screaming, no drama, nothing. Is that clear? Capiche? Comprende? Понятно?

Well, now let’s get to the heart of the matter:

I have been quiet but not idle. I’ve been contacting people, sending queries, making phone calls, digging state archive repositories. I have been finding material and boy did I find material! I happen to be one of the very few people who are blessed with an extraordinary ability to find things no one else can find. You have seen what I can find by utilizing search engines and going through links. Even Craig Mazin himself was mighty impressed with my finds, the proof is out there in public view, I won’t bother digging it up now.

Anyway. It turns out I can find hell of a lot more than that by contacting people, sending queries, making phone calls and digging through state archive repositories. Some of it costs pretty penny but no matter, I don’t mind paying for never-before-published video footage that is not on the internet. Some of it is not even digitized so you gotta pay extra fee for digitization and it can be quite high depending on the video length and media.

We are talking about HD videos here. There is excellent AI video processing software out there which can turn even the most primitive 19th century videos to crystal clear 60 fps HD so we are good. (Example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HbElEqm1TQ) I have photos that can’t be found by searching the internet. You’d drop dead if you saw some of them. I’m working on getting the full footage of Legasov’s IAEA presentation. It’s hella difficult, you have to personally go to Vienna and go through the seven hells and seven lower hells to obtain access. Also you need to be a research scientist with a reference letter. (All this info and list of requirements can be found on IAEA official site.) I won’t get into the details but I have it all sorted out, scientist and all. It wasn’t easy and it took a damn lot of time, effort, pulling family connections etc. Now the only remaining roadblock is this accursed coronavirus. As soon as the pandemic subsides a trip to Vienna shall be in order. The long Q&A session following Legasov’s report is unfortunately not available, but Legasov’s report certainly is (after fulfilling a laundry list of requirements.)

This is not all. There are photos (in addition to the publicly available ones I posted before) and video footage of Ryzhkov visiting Chernobyl, Legasov’s meetings, partial video of one Polituro meeting. There is this one precious footage where Legasov is laughing and drinking vodka. I won’t even say how many hours of work it took to find that. (Plot twist: I’m not the one who found it!) I have a pile of videos of Ryzhkov when he was the chairman of the council of ministers of the USSR, which are historical records of tremendous importance and not on Youtube. Buddies who have seen them had insta-man crush on him without even hearing my translation. Some of you would KILL for those, I know for a fact. For the Legasov drinking-partying video you would sell your soul to the devil (who wouldn’t?)

I have an IAEA report with an extremely rare photo you can’t find by searching. I won’t tell you who is in it cause I don’t want to supply anything you could use for your gross fics. Suffices to say one of them is someone you are drooling about and the other one is a big shot name that’s not on your radar and will unleash all kinds of fic ideas once you hear it. So nope. I ain’t giving you another Ryzhkov, I learned my lesson. I have video footage of that same man giving high praise to Legasov, talking with a tone of fondness, defending him against accusations. Such a sweet video. It put tears in my eyes. I can see you gang drooling a lake over that one so hell fucking no.

Did I mention I started translating Legasov documentaries? Every single one on youtube. Including the entire Звезда Полынь. Also planning to convert some Legasov footage to HD using the aforementioned software tools.

I have actually been posting videos and text material translations left and right, just out of your sight (nice rhyme, isn’t it?) 90% the material I listed above is either in the pipeline or in my hard disk. @tryingtobealwaystrying can verify. She helped out a great deal with the IAEA business and I owe her one for that. We are both individually damn good at finding stuff but it turned out we can work wonders as a team. As a result, we have a treasure trove of the highest order in hand and in the works.

And, here is the deal: YOU WILL SEE NONE OF IT.

N.O.N.E.

Not a shred. Not a pixel. Nothing. Ничего. Совсем нет.

Get it now? “You didn’t see it cause it’s not there!”

You won’t see it cause it won’t be there!

So, this is it. I can’t do anything about your shipping scumbaggery but I can cut off your supply and deprive you of material and information. You will NEVER be able to find any of it on your own (let alone afford the fees for.)

I will deprive you of the fruits of my labor.

Indefinitely.

Of course that doesn’t mean I’ll keep it all to myself. I will share them but not in public. In fact I have translated and posted some videos you wanted real bad, one of them got 1000 views overnight but they are not public, for my work is not for the eyes of the wicked and unclean miscreants. I post them in shipper-free foreign forums you can’t find and send links privately to decent, wholesome people who are interested in Chernobyl and Soviet history for the passion to learn and admiration for the historical figures, not for spinning depraved fantasies and writing horrendous, projectile-vomit-inducing sex fics. And -as those of you who possess three digit IQ’s might have figured out!- I am not alone in that. (Plot twist FTW!) Congrats, folks. You managed to alienate and drive away the top Chernobyl-Legasov researchers and translators with your hideous debauchery, extreme scumbaggery and abominable attitude. So, this is your punishment: NOTHING. This is the consequence you will deal with. This is the cost of your choices.

A big nothing is all you will ever get from now on.

See, told ya, there is absolutely nothing I can do about your gross shipping and scumbaggery so I will do NOTHING.

Got the joke? LOL. I have awesome humor don’t I :)

No more videos. No more photos. No more answers. No more translations. No more information.

You royally fucked up, people. You don’t get to eat the cake and the icing, especially not when you offend and insult the cooks, take a dump in the middle of the restaurant and masturbate while rolling in it. You could have kept it out of sight. You could have exercised some goddamn tact. But no, you had to behave like animals in heat.

Well, you can continue obsessing over the TV show scripts until you get sick of it. I will be posting translations of different parts of Soviet history like the WW2 era. You can ship Hitler and Stalin all you want. Get those headcanons rolling! I will even give you a prompt: Stalin cheats on Hitler with Mussolini. LMAO.

You know what, I take back the not a pixel thing. We may post screenshots from the videos and low-res crops from the photos from time to time just to rub it in your face.

Here is one where they are grilling Velikhov shortly after Legasov’s suicide. Oh boy you gotta see his face when they start bombarding him about Legasov’s death....

Here is the shot from a long video where the legendary Premier Ryzhkov is sporting the legendary 80′s Soviet glasses in all his superlative handsome glory. He is giving an interview about important historical turning points in this video and this isn’t even the best shot. You have to pay to get a copy but before that you need a superpower-like ability to find where it is in the first place. I scaled it up to 1440×1080 but not gonna put the high resolution version cause I’m such a darling.

Here is Ryzhkov in the famous white work attire of the Soviet era. Looks familiar, yes? Do I need to tell WHERE he is and what he is doing? (Hint: The year is 1986.)

Oh man, oh man. How worried he looks, so heart-wrenching. The footage is only about 3 minutes but absolutely solid gold. I won’t say whether there is Legasov or Scherbina or BOTH of them appearing in this footage cause I’m such a sweetheart.

Unfortunately I am not at liberty to post any Legasov shots cause I am not the finder of the Legasov videos we currently have at hand. Too bad, so sad. There you go. Enjoy your cold dish of nothing. Bon appetite. Adios amigas! WHAT IS THE COST OF NOT RESPECTING BOUNDARIES? @tryingtobealwaystrying @the--arch @ihatefandomsfuckyouall @rarravai @weronikaisback @live-long-and-time-warp @tryingtobealwaystrying @chernobylgal86

#chernobyl #valery legasov #legasov #boris scherbina #valoris #chernobyl nuclear disaster #Soviet History #soviet union #ussr #shippers take all the fun out of life #like cockroaches in the picnic #this is why we cant have nice things #ACCESS DENIED #NO SOUP FOR YOU

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homunculusalphonse · 4 years

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Okay, I wasn’t expecting that post on the Cool Kids and Steven to get so much attention... and now that I’m here, I really want to talk more about them, and how the human characters were treated in the end. Because the more I think about it, the more disappointed I feel.

Again, I loved SUF, I think Steven’s arc was done really well. But. I hate how the humans were pushed aside after Little Graduation. I’m aware I’m possibly one of the few people in the fandom that enjoy the “townie/filler episodes” (except the Onion episodes tho), but the human side of the show has always been vital to Steven. Despite every gem power he has, Steven is still half-human. He gets along with almost the entire human cast and I honestly love those relationships - especially with Connie, the Cool Kids and Lars. I’m going to talk about Lars another day, though, because I’d have a lot to cover, lmao.

Anyway, I love the Cool Kids. I love how they parallel the Crystal Gems, and yet they have their own thing going on. I really enjoy that they had their own friendship with Steven after Lars and the Cool Kids, yet I feel like they don’t get enough love - both from the fandom and the show itself.

Joy Ride has become one of my favorite SU episodes of all time, because the Cool Kids are amazing friends. They notice that Steven feels pressured and stressed after the events of The Return and Jailbreak, and they offer him some time to loosen up and have fun. Their relationship is genuine, honest and healthy.

This episode (already underrated) tends to be remembered by the scene when Steven expresses his identity issues and his belief that the gems “blame him for his mother not being around”, whilst the Cool Kids are like holy shit, what? (which is reasonable, because it’s a hilariously tragic scene).

(ignore Steven’s hair in this shot, it’s an animation error, lol)

But my favorite part of this episode, that doesn’t get enough attention? It’s when the Cool Kids stand up to the Crystal Gems when they start guilt-tripping Steven for not immediately telling them about Peridot’s escape pod. It’s such a great scene, because no one up until this point has ever called them out on their dismissive behavior. As great as the gems are, they do tend to neglect Steven’s emotional needs throughout the show. They forget that despite everything, Steven is a young, human boy who has been through deadly situations and begins to see the awful reality of Homeworld’s system and his mother’s legacy.

And I mean it, the Cool Kids are, as far as I’m concerned, legitimately the first people that confront the gems about it. At this point in the series, Greg doesn’t actually involve himself in Steven’s life other than giving some good old Dad advice every now and then, and Connie hasn’t known his family long enough to do it, either. So while their criticism is not on the same level as, say, Connie’s speech in SUF, the Cool Kids manage to respect the gems but at the same time wanting them to recognize that Steven is still a kid, and that he shouldn’t deal with so much responsibility at once:

Sour Cream: We just wanted Steven to have some fun. I don't know what's going on with aliens trying to abduct him, and him being his own mom. But it sounds like he's got a lot on his mind.

Jenny: I'm sure whatever you're having him do is important, but everyone needs a break once in a while.

Buck: He’s just a kid.

Gosh, I love these guys.

With all of this in mind, it really saddens me that we didn’t have more moments like these in SU and SUF with them, nor with other human characters (considering the gems don’t pay attention to his mental health). We only see someone standing up for Steven again at the very end of SUF - and I find yet another issue with that, because the only person that actually helps Steven is Connie. A fourteen-year-old girl, if I’m not mistaken, who’s definitely got trauma of her own (e.g. White Diamond taking Steven’s gem out of his body, the Gem experiments from Nightmare Hospital, Connie almost drowning in Bubble Buddies and Ocean Gem, and so on), even though the show doesn’t address that.

Connie is the one who gets Steven to the doctor, she’s the one who calls Greg, she gets everyone else together in Everything’s Fine, and in the end calls the gems out on them not doing anything to help Steven other than swallowing in their own sorrows. Don’t get me wrong, I loved her speech in I Am My Monster, but why is she the only voice of reason? Why is she the adult to a bunch of “superpowered children”?

Listen, I get the lesson and point of Little Graduation - that friends come and go with their own lives, and that Steven has been feeling left out due to his traumatic experiences -, but I don’t like how the human characters were handled. I hate how Steven’s emotional support system was reduced to pretty much gems and Greg and Connie, when there are a lot more people who care about him as well. The Cool Kids are his friends, Lars is his friend, as is Sadie and everyone else. So, why does it feel like they aren’t friends in this episode? Yeah, they’re not close like before, but I’ve realized that no one notices something is off about Steven’s behavior at all; except maybe for Lars, who consoles him by the end of the episode.

They’re not forced to read him, of course, but isn’t it unfair that, again, Connie is the only one who does something? Everyone else leaves and has very small cameos and/or mentions in the next episodes. IMO, their farewell to Steven in The Future doesn’t feel... satisfying, for someone who’s changed their lives so much; not to mention that Steven might not come back to Beach City in a long time. Even if he must’ve had more closure with them before leaving (considering he told everyone in Beach City he was going away), we don’t see any of it.

Okay, this is a more subjective point of view, so I’m not saying SUF is terrible for not doing this or that. Many people were wholeheartedly satisfied with SUF’s ending, and I don’t have a problem with that. Regardless, I really wish we could've had more closure with the human characters. I loved the human side of the show, I loved Steven’s human relationships and their genuine moments like what we got from Joy Ride. For these not to get the recognition they deserved in the end was so disappointing to me.

#captain's log #steven universe #steven universe future #meta #su meta #long post #this got longer than i thought oof #anyway #first meta post!

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classic80sand90smovieloves2 · 4 years

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Meeting and dating Tommy Turner

(My gif)(Tommys in plaid for any of you who haven’t seen porkys)

- You met Tommy when the both of you were placed in the same class. The two of you became quick friends once you were seated near each other. He introduced you to the other guys and soon enough you had a whole group of new friends.

- For a while you remained just that: friends. He even became a wing man of sorts and tried to set you up with a few guys from school. But everything changed one fateful day.

- Like clockwork the boys had snuck into the the tunnels of the school and got into position at their peepholes. Except today you had had an accident with a bunch of paint in art class and were sent to clean yourself up in the school showers.

- It took the boys a little while to realize just who the new girl was since they knew you didn’t have gym class that period. But they got their answer as you turned to face their wall innocently giggling at Wendy’s teasing as you scrubbed the paint from your chest.

“Holy shit that’s y/n!” Everyone in the group tries to stifle their laughter, everyone but him; he’s too busy staring at you.

- He had never thought of you in a sexual way before, he sort of just saw you as one of the guys. Yet here you were, wet, naked and wow, he couldn’t take his eyes off you.

- For the rest of the day he looks at you weird and you have no idea why. He’s staring, gulping, sneaking glances after you catch him watching you; you feel like an algebra equation he can’t figure out. You start to question yourself; what have you done lately that would make him suspicious of you. Was one of the other planning a prank? Was he?

“…Well I’m gonna head to class Tommy…see ya…” you mutter as you leave the lunch table.

- His third eye has been opened and its laser focused on your tits.

- When he can’t get you out of his head for a week straight he knows he has a real problem on his hands and a problem he apparently can’t “fix” with his hands…believe him he tried.

- You’re beginning to wonder what the hell is going on with your best friend (and crush but that’s besides the point). You try to ask the guys whats going on but they just fight back laughter like there’s an inside joke between them. They just think that Tommy’s particularly horny after seeing you naked and doesn’t know how to deal which is …sort of the truth but he’s more than horny. He’s in love.

- He begins to subtly try and ask you out, saying things like “hey y/l/n, wanna go to Deadbeats with me tonight?” but you just aren’t getting it. He wants to yell that “it’s a goddamn date” whenever you ask “where everyone else is” but he doesn’t have the nerve.

- Tommy is definitely the type of guy to act really childish when he has a crush on someone (and after you start dating) and since you’re already friends this works out perfectly for him. He takes turns acting like a playground bully who pulls your pigtails and a really soft, sweet boy.

- After some time Tommy actually asks you out in a proper way that can’t be mistaken as just a friendly hang out. You genuinely think it’s a prank until he kisses the life out of you, but even then it takes a few dates for him to totally convince you.

- Your first date is at a nice restaurant. He wants to make the occasion stand out so he opts for the stereotypical romantic dinner date since the two of you had done just about everything else in town together as friends. He’s sort of out of his element; he’s blushing and giggling whenever you say something, it’s really quite the adorable sight to see.

- Since you knew each other before you went out you don’t have to deal with that trial period a couple goes through, you just skip to being girlfriend and boyfriend.

- When the gang finds out about the two of you dating Peewee accidentally rats the guys out for spying on you when you were in the showers. You aren’t exactly mad just really flustered and embarrassed. You drop your face into your hands and refuse to look at anyone all the while Tommy is attempting to make you feel better(and failing miserably).

“It’s really no big deal y/n, I mean you have a great body! You have no reason to be embarrassed believe me!”

“You could see me naked if you’d like? Then we’ll be even Steven.”

- Obviously he doesn’t help his case very much but you knew what you were getting into when you agreed to go steady with him.

- His love language is very physical; he prefers to show you he cares through his actions rather than his words.

- Hand kisses and hand holding.

- Hugs from behind where he just keeps you pinned against him.

- He’s a funny guy even when he isn’t trying to be.

- Gossiping together.

- Getting to hear about the “master plans” he’s particularly proud of or the ones he needs your help with. Although sometimes he doesn’t tell you about the pranks he intends to pull because he doesn’t want you to try and stop him.

- Compliments even though he says them like he’s actually teasing you.

- He likes to make you shriek so be prepared to have him try to scare you at least once a week.

- Drive in movie dates.

- Bowling dates.

- Going to the record shop together.

- Elbowing him when he tries to mess with Balbricker so that he can maybe avoid detention for once. I have this idea in my head (kinda like that niece ask) that Tommy’s girlfriend would be like Balbricker’s favorite student and it bothers Tommy to no end. Like~

“How the hell do you like that evil bitch?”

“What? Shes always been nice to me?”

- Visiting him in detention; he gets in trouble a lot.

- Kissing his beauty marks.

- He ruins the moment a lot; it’s just his thing.

- Dancing with him.

- You’re basically best friends who kiss and cuddle.

- Do not tease him with not following through on kisses. That is a serious offense.

- He’s pretty smooth like sometimes he’ll say something and you’ll have to take a minute to recover from it.

- Him always defending you and being ready to kick someone’s ass.

- He likes all your jokes no matter how bad.

“That’s a shit joke y/n.”

“I liked it.” He pulls you into a hug with a smile.

- He cleans you up whenever something happens to you like a nosebleed or a scraped knee. He likes to take care of you it’s fun for him especially when he gets a kiss and hug for it.

- He loves seeing your lipstick on his handkerchief, he always smiles when you borrow it and there’s a little smudge of red on the corner.

- Cracking up when Balbricker tackles him.

- When she’s dragged away you jokingly ask if he’s alright, he replies that “it” is hurt and that you should kiss it better.

- Evidence suggests that he has a pretty big porky (with a mole) so…enjoy that.

- He probably jokingly flashes you when you tell him to get dressed (or something similar).

- Pins you against walls while the two of you makeout.

- Sit. In. His. Lap. At the diner. He wants everyone to see you together.

- He slaps your ass in public, he does not care in the slightest. He only cares if his parents are around and even then he’s still a little shit

- He’s definitely snuck through your window late at night and fucked up his knee because he immediately tripped and fell to your floor. You can’t stop laughing while you make sure he’s okay.

- You ever just want to get fucking thrown? He likes to throw you, it’s a perfect match. In a bed, a pool, doesn’t matter, you’re just getting tossed.

- Leaning your heads on each other’s shoulders.

- Affectionate name calling.

- Neck kisses.

- He likes to tickle you, he thinks your uncontrollable laughter is adorable.

- Billy and you get really close since he’s the one in the gang who sticks around Tommy the most. You guys make a good team.

- Once something happens he’s excited for the rest of the day because he can’t wait to be able to tell you about it. Like if he doesn’t get to see you for a while he’ll keep a list of what’s happened so that he doesn’t forget.

- He doesn’t really get jealous. If you wanted to date someone else you could have but you chose him; obviously that meant something, right? He sort of just thinks it’s funny to watch guys attempt to flirt with you and get turned down. He particularly enjoys it when you sit on his lap to make sure the other guy takes the hint; he always gets this smug look on his face.

- On one hand he thinks it’s cute seeing you jealous, on the other hand he gets a bit exasperated by it (kind of because he’s a perv and wants to spy on other girls without anyone trying to stop him).

- Most of your fights are probably about his incessant need to stare at other girls tits or his questionable choices when being caught by said girls. He’ll assure you that it was “just a joke” but that’s a pretty shitty excuse, isn’t it?

- If you break up with and ignore him for a little while he’ll learn his lesson. He’ll clean up his act when he realizes you aren’t going to let him play you. You’ll get an apology from a very uncomfortable boy after some time spent away from each other.

- He is genuinely sorry once he realized he actually really bothered and/or hurt you. He sort of just didn’t take your feelings into consideration, he’s not exactly experienced in real relationships. Like I said: he’ll clean up his act.

#tommy turner #tommy porkys #porkys headcanon #porkys headcanons #porkys tommy #porkys imagine #porkys 80s #tommy turner headcanons #tommy turner headcanon #tommy turner imagine #80s movie headcanon #80s movie headcanons #80s movie imagines #80s movie imagine

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heyyyharry · 5 years

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Chapter 10: Darlings

(from the Flatmate Trilogy: Two Hearts, One Home)

…in which Harry is excited but Y/N is worried.

Word count: 4.4k

Chapter 9: Three’s A Crowd - Harry learns a big lesson, and Y/N cannot tolerate his assistant.

Wattpad link

A/N: Please enjoy and spam my inbox. - Allie.

Y/N was pregnant.

The doctor had confirmed it. A pregnancy test stick had confirmed it. The morning sickness had confirmed it. So it was official. She was now positively pregnant.

Before all of this, she had been devastated and almost depressed thinking she and Harry might not have children of their own. Now that the universe had given them one, she fell into a state where she was constantly afraid and anxious. She'd blame it on the hormones and the way her body was changing. The baby was probably not even...a baby yet, and she had already come up with a bunch of different scenarios where she turned out to be an awful parent. It was not until now that she realized how strong her sister had been for bringing up baby Eleanor on her own. Y/N was lucky to have a loving husband, her family, and supportive friends by her side.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!"

Harry burst right through the door. He had just got back from work, still in his suit, and his face was white. But what he found was just Y/N and Layla sitting on the bed, blinking at him.

"Who just screamed?!"

"Layla did," said Y/N with a beam. "I just told her the news."

"I cannot believe I'm about to be a godmother!" Layla punched the air and then drop her smile to give Harry a questioning look. "Wait...why are you holding a frying pan?"

Y/N was in hysterics when her husband lowered his frying pan and rolled his eyes. "I didn't have time to choose my weapon when I heard you scream. I thought my babies were hurt."

"Ew?!"

"Not you, Layla. I meant Y/N and our actual baby."

Layla ignored him and turned back to Y/N. "He's gonna be using plural nouns from now on, isn't he?"

"He's been doing that since the doctor visit." Y/N gave her best friend a shrug and automatically lifted her face for Harry to kiss. Layla sighed in contentment as she watched them.

"I'm so excited for you guys and also for me! When I was little, I always wanted to be Cinderella and now, I, Layla Scott, is about to be the fairy godmother."

"Who says anything about—" All it took was one fierce glare from Layla for Harry to change his opinion in a heartbreak. "Yes! You're gonna be the best godmother! No doubt!"

"I'm sorry baby Styles," Layla leaned down and whispered to Y/N's nonexistent baby bump. "Your daddy's a fake."

"Well, your aunt Layla's a bully."

"Godmother! Ugh!"

Smirking as Layla jokingly flipped him off, Harry dropped his head to give Y/N a few more pecks, one hand under her chin, the other on her belly. "I'm gonna take a shower now. You ladies have fun without me."

"Don't worry," Layla gave him a lopsided grin. "We always have fun without you."

"Dick."

"Pussy."

"Real mature guys. I can totally see myself trusting you two with this child." Y/N snorted as Harry walked out with his 'weapon' after giving Layla a mocking face.

"Love you, darlings," he said. "And that plural noun doesn't include Layla!"

"Thank you, asshole!" Layla shouted at the closed door, making Y/N laugh even harder.

"He's very excited," Y/N said now that her husband was gone. Though smiling, the girl was subconsciously fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. And even such a little action couldn't get past Layla's eyes.

"What's wrong with you? Why are you upset?"

"What? I'm not!" Y/N scrunched up her face. "I'm perfectly fine."

"You don't look fine though. You blink a lot when you lie."

"I do not!"

"Here she goes again." Layla scoffed. "I don't get it though. You're finally pregnant. Harry's falling more in love with you, I didn't think it was possible, but I was just proven wrong." She stuck out her bottom lip and lifted her shoulders. "So maybe instead of looking constipated the second he turns away, you should be happy."

"I'm not unhappy, I'm just..." Y/N paused to search for the right word and then went with, "worried." Taking a deep breath, she continued, "what if I'm a terrible mother? What if Harry's the favorite parent and I'm the one my kid lies to and keeps secrets from? What if we're both terrible and our kid hates us?!"

"The kid's not even in there yet and you're already freaking out about him or her going through puberty?" Layla breathed as her eyes rolled upward. "Look, I don't hit pregnant women. But I'll slap the shit out of you if you say that again, ya hear me? This isn't you talking. This is the pregnancy hormones. Your anxiety isn't real, okay?" Quickly, she grabbed Y/N's shoulders and signaled the girl to copy her as she inhaled deeply and let go of that breath.

"Feel better?" she grinned. Y/N nodded once, looking less uneasy now. "Good. Just know that we're all here for you. You're gonna be fine."

As it turned out, Layla was right.

Soon the weekend arrived, and the young couple had grown used to the new rhythm of their life. Y/N had been paying more attention to her diet and taking vitamins regularly, so she didn't feel as terrible as she had for the first few days. This morning, Harry had a meeting with a client, so he wasn't there when she woke up. He'd left her breakfast on the kitchen table with a note saying he loved her and would miss her terribly until he came home. After everything that'd happened to them, he was making more effort to make sure she knew how much she meant to him. It began to feel like those college days again, and she wanted to enjoy it while it lasted.

"Nope, I won't do it!"

"I'll pay you."

"You haven't even paid me for catsitting Tiger!"

Y/N brought Treasure toward Nam's desk and couldn't help but overhear his little argument with Stephanie. While the blonde was rambling on, Nam seemed pretty annoyed. That wasn't at all surprising, because Stephanie's only talent besides being a bitch, was being an annoying bitch. Y/N supposed it was mean to think about her neighbor like that. But that woman deserved to be called a bitch after all the things she'd said and done.

"Y/N!" Stephanie grabbed Y/N by the arm the second she saw her. "Tell him to babysit my niece for me!"

"Oh, now you're gonna drag Y/N into this?" Nam laughed wryly as he took the white cat from Y/N's arms. "Even if you promised me a fortune, the answer would still be no. I already know I wouldn't get a single penny from you. At least Treasure's parents pay me well."

Treasure meowed softly as he stroked her head. "Do you agree, my little furry baby? Tiger's parents are stingy white people, aren't they?"

Stephanie rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms. "Well, cats, children, they're all the same."

"Well, thank God, you're not a mother." That was meant to be an insult, but Nam had unintentionally given Stephanie a new idea.

Her eyes lit up as she turned to Y/N. "Since you're about to be a parent, would you like some practice?"

"Oh, no! Leave Y/N alone!"

Stephanie completely ignored Nam as she went on before Y/N could say anything. "Don't worry, my niece's a good kid. Her parents go away on business trips all the time so she's very independent. All you need to do is to keep an eye on her until her mum picks her up."

"How old is she?"

"Y/N, you're not actually considering this!" Nam cried out.

Y/N gave him a shrug as she pursed her lips. "Tomorrow's Sunday, so why not? And I'm also good with kids."

"That's the spirit!" Stephanie smacked her on the arm, causing the poor girl to flinch. "She's five. The sweetest five-year-old you'll ever meet! Her name is Darling."

Y/N saw Nam hug Treasure and turn away as he muttered something, probably cursing Stephanie. But this time, it wasn't Stephanie's fault. Y/N simply thought this was a great opportunity for her and Harry to practice being parents. It was never too soon to get prepared for such a big change in their life.

Besides, with a name like Darling, the girl must be an angel. Now Y/N couldn't wait to talk to her husband about their new plan for Sunday.

"Babe, I still think you're really overthinking this."

"I'm not," Y/N shouted from the living room as she checked her watch. "Would you just hurry up?! We're gonna be late."

"Relax! They literally live just across the hall!" he said and finally stumbled out of their bedroom.

She stared at him, lifting an eyebrow in amusement. "Why are you carrying your laptop?"

"I gotta check my emails." He chuckled and pressed his lips to her temple. "Come on, babe. Let's go fake-parenting."

Laughing, she reached out to hold his hand.

They had never been in Mason and Stephanie's flat and had never intended to set foot in there, unless it was the only safe place in a zombie apocalypse. So when they entered 'the devil's home' for the very first time, their jaws nearly dropped to the floor.

The place was much cleaner and tidier than they'd imagined. Harry had often joked about his cousin's flat looking like a porn movie set, with sex toys hanging on the walls and adult magazines lying all over the place. At least that was how he imagined porn movie sets would look like. However, the flat was actually decent. Y/N amused herself with the thought that, those who had never met Mason and Stephanie would think they were a basic white couple named Kevin and Barbara, who baked cookies and went to church every Sunday. Lesson learned: never judge a book by its cover.

As Y/N went into the kitchen to check what Stephanie had left for them in the fridge, Harry made himself comfortable on the couch (after having made sure there wasn't a cum stain on it) and opened his laptop. They waited for about fifteen minutes when the doorbell rang, and Y/N rushed to it with a big smile on her face. She opened the door and was greeted by a tall woman slightly older than her.

"Hi! You must be Mary!"

"And you must be Y/N, the babysitter!" The lady returned a smile as she fixed her bucket hat that covered most of her bobbed blonde hair. Then, she turned back to call her daughter who was still idling in front of the lift. "Darling, come here, baby!"

The five-year-old pouted as she crossed her arms and waddled toward her mother and Y/N. She was as adorable as the image Y/N had created in her mind, with big bright eyes and brown straight hair that fell right past her tiny shoulders. The ladybug backpack she was wearing was too big for her body that it made her look even smaller. She could be the baby girl Y/N had always wanted. But then again, she shouldn't be. The girl might look like an angel, her attitude, however, said the opposite. Her little round face contorted as she shot Y/N a spiteful glare. Why?! They had only just met!

"Hello, Darling." Y/N crouched down with both hands on her knees despite the unwelcoming reaction. "My name's Y/N. And that—" she pointed at Harry who raised his hand and gave the child a wave "—is my husband, Harry. We're your babysitters for today!"

Darling looked at Y/N, and then Harry, and then back to Mary. She repeated that one more time before telling her mother, "please pick me up on time, mummy. Don't leave me too long with these strangers."

The mother gave a startled Y/N an apologetic grin before turning back to the child. "Of course," she said. "But you gotta promise to be nice and listen to Y/N and Harry, okay?"

Darling looked annoyed as she crossed her arms, still, she replied with a nod, said goodbye to her mum and followed Y/N into the living room.

"Okay." Y/N breathed as she shut the door. "Why don't we just start by getting to know each other?"

Darling shrugged off her backpack and spoke with a straight face, "I want to color."

"Oh, okay." As Y/N plastered a smile on her face, Harry was biting his knuckles so he wouldn't crack up. "I'll get us some paper and we'll color together—"

"I said I, not we."

"Wow..." Y/N heard her husband say, but she was too stunned to react. The kid hadn't broken that intense eye contact with her that made her feel extremely uncomfortable.

She swallowed hard, nodding her head. "S-sure. Why don't you wait on that couch with Harry?"

Darling didn't reply and dragged her backpack toward the couch to sit on the other end, as far away from Harry as she could. Now that his wife had left, Harry thought he should start a conversation to get to know this child. But before he could come up with anything to say, Darling was the one who broke the silence.

"Why do you wear so many rings? Are you married to many women?"

"No!" The man laughed, his eyebrows pulled together. He didn't know why he was nervous talking to this five-year-old when he'd never found it hard to speak to a girl before (Y/N had been a special case). He stuttered for a moment before adding to his answer, "this is my wedding band, see?" He showed her his ring finger, smiling proudly. "This is the only ring that matters."

He thought she would react in a different way, a more childlike and positive one. However, what he got was a hardened expression that seemed like she was silently judging him.

"Are you lying because you think I'm a child so I don't know what cheating is?"

He arched an eyebrow in doubt. "Do you know what cheating is?"

"Yeah, aunt Steph taught me that word," she said casually. "Cheating is when a husband or a wife sleeps with another person that's not their wife or husband."

"Jesus Christ!" His eyes widened as he straightened his back. "She taught you that?!"

"Yeah." Darling nodded once. "But I think she's wrong, because what if you want to have a sleepover with your friends? You have no choice but to sleep with them, right?"

"Right." He chuckled nervously.

Y/N soon returned with some paper, and Harry didn't think he'd ever felt so relieved. Talking to that girl was like being interrogated by the police. He'd never been interrogated by the police before, but in his imagination, this could probably be worse. He took advantage of Darling being distracted by her paper and crayons to drag Y/N to the kitchen, telling her to keep her voice down.

"Harry, we are not having sex while there's a kid in the other room!"

Her reaction made him chuckle as he held her arms. "Who says anything about sex?"

"I'm not sucking your dick either."

"I may be horny for you all the time, but I know my limits. I'm only here to tell you that the child scares me."

"Don't you think it's a little too late for that?" she asked, pointing to her belly.

"No, I mean Darling!"

"You mean what?"

He exhaled and rolled his eyes, but still found the little misunderstanding hilarious. "I was talking about Darling, the little girl."

"Just call her 'the little girl' from now on to avoid confusion."

"Got it." He snorted and proceeded to tell her about their previous conversation in the living room, adding, "I haven't seen her smile, isn't that strange?"

Y/N gave him a shrug. "Maybe she's a mini Wednesday Addams."

"Maybe she's a mini Layla."

"Okay, that's funny."

Harry tried to look as serious as he sounded but his own joke amused him. Smirking, he went on, "I bet she's out there drawing a picture of the two of us with our heads cut off."

"Harry, you're overreacting. She's only a baby," Y/N said and kissed him on the cheek.

Other than being an emo five-year-old, Darling was actually a good kid. She had been quiet the entire time while working on her drawings. She was using a lot of red, which reminded Y/N of what Harry had said earlier, and now she was afraid to see what those 'works of art' were about.

Soon it was lunch and Darling stopped coloring as she told Y/N she was hungry. Y/N wanted to be a good soon-to-be-mother, so she asked her husband to play with Darling while she made some sandwiches for the three of them.

"No, wait, I'll do it!"

Before Y/N could protest, Harry had already dashed into the kitchen. She knew he couldn't cook to save his life but didn't want to fight him on this, so she sat back on the couch and let him be their chef. It would take forever until they had something to eat if at all. So while waiting, Y/N used Harry's laptop to go on YouTube. Just when she thought she could finally relax and watch some funny cat compilations, Darling's loud squeal made her head turn shot up.

"What happened, dear?" Y/N put down the laptop and came to see what was wrong.

The little girl stuck out her bottom lip, her eyes welled up as she held the red crayon now broken in half in her little palm. Y/N squatted on the floor with her elbows on her knees as she gave Darling a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry, you can still color with that."

"It's broken."

"Yeah but..." Y/N took the two halves, each in one hand. "Now you have two red crayons."

"Half a crayon doesn't make a new crayon."

"Who told you that?" Y/N asked, her eyebrows rose.

Darling pursed her tiny heart-shaped lips as she thought for a moment. She was probably trying to decide if she should tell Y/N what she'd never told anyone. Eventually, she confessed, "aunt Steph told mummy that mummy and daddy's marriage was a broken crayon. You can still color with it, but it'll make the picture ugly and messy."

Y/N was frozen by those words. A little girl should not have heard something like that about her parents, ever. Feeling a big lump in her throat, she tried to search for the right thing to say to Darling. It was only then that she looked around at the paintings scattered on the carpet. They weren't what she and Harry had assumed. They were just awful, messy, childish drawings of what any child would view as a happy family. Darling had used a lot of red to draw the hearts. There were so many hearts surrounding her, her mother and her dad. She'd even used that red color to cross out the face of another woman standing in the background, who, Y/N believed, was her father's mistress. That explained why she'd thought Harry was cheating. Her dad had done it, maybe all the men would too.

"Here." Y/N picked up one half of the red crayon as she sat down, crossing her legs. To Darling's confusion, she took a new sheet of paper and began to draw.

She'd been told by her niece Eleanor and Jamie, the boy she used to babysit during college, that she was good at drawing. That was what she loved about children. You didn't have to give it your best shot and they would still think you were extraordinary, simply because you were an adult. And she was right. Darling's mouth had formed an 'o' shape as her eyes followed every single movement of the crayon sliding across the paper. She was in awe to see Y/N quickly sketch a house with a nice garden, the fences, some trees, even a swimming pool. Y/N finished her 'masterpiece' with a family of two, a little cat, and an arrow pointing to the woman's belly as she wrote down the word 'BABY'.

"So this..." She sighed happily now that her work was done. "This is my family," she said, pointing to the picture. "This is Harry, this is me, and you can't see the baby because the baby's in my belly."

"Does your house look like this?" Darling asked, her eyes went round. It was the first time Y/N had seen her act like an actual five-year-old. And there was something so endearing about that. This was when Y/N's maternal instinct kicked in, she felt her heart flutter in a way that she'd only experienced when she was with Harry.

"Nah, we live right across the hall," she told Darling. "But this is our dream house."

"Why don't you buy it? It has a pool and everything!"

"We'll buy it someday. Right now, we want to stay here to be close to work and to our friends."

Darling clasped both hands in front of her chest. "Can I come visit when you finally buy this house?"

"Sure, love." Y/N nodded and handed her one half of the crayon. "Wanna draw yourself in?"

"Can I?!" she exclaimed with excitement, smiling from ear to ear. That was the first smile to be seen on her, and Y/N felt so proud knowing she was the reason for it.

"Sure, babe. You can put yourself next to me and the baby."

Harry finally returned with three (slightly burnt, but still edible) grilled cheese sandwiches. After having struggled in the kitchen for half an hour, he was now considering signing himself up for a cooking class so he wouldn't depend too much on his pregnant wife. But maybe he'd save this talk for later, because his mind went blank the moment he saw his wife...laughing with mini Layla.

"H-hey guys," he spoke, catching the girls' attention. "What...what are you guys doing?"

"Darling drew a picture of us. Wanna see?"

"Is my head still attached to my body?"

"Harry!"

"Alright, alright. Coming."

He put the plate down on the table and sat down with the girls on the floor. His reaction was the same one as Y/N had before when he saw what Darling had been drawing the entire time. It was far different from the horrendous scenario he'd painted in his head.

Excited, the girl stood up and raised her artwork to show it to her two audiences. "So this is you, this is Y/N, this is the baby. I made it a girl because I want a little sister."

Harry chuckled but Y/N shushed him so Darling could finish her presentation, "and this is me, the babysitter."

"She volunteered to be our babysitter," Y/N told her husband before he could ask.

"Told ya she's a mini Layla," said Harry as he waggled his eyebrows, making Y/N giggle and pushed him away.

For the rest of the afternoon, things had gotten much better for Harry and Y/N. They played a few games (that was how Harry discovered he gave great piggyback rides) and did some more coloring. Since Harry had accidentally ruined one picture by coloring outside the lines, the girls threatened to take away his crayons, but eventually agreed to let him color the insignificant details like the trees and the flowers in the background. Honestly, that was the most therapeutic activity he'd done in a long time. He didn't even bother to check his emails and chat with his clients and employees. All he cared about was this happy moment with his wife and their play-pretend family of three.

In nine months, this all would be real.

"I told you it'd be worth it," Y/N said contently as she followed Harry into their flat.

Darling had just left with her mum, who had been so surprised when her daughter appeared with a massive grin and showed her the picture she'd drawn with half a crayon. Y/N hoped Mary had understood and would try to do better for her little daughter. That was what that child deserved.

"I love to see you so happy," said Harry as he hugged her from behind, kissing the spot right below her ear as she held his face. "Told you you'd be a great mum. You've been acting like my mum since the first day we met."

She rolled her eyes, a corner of her mouth turned up. "I just realized that the personality of the child depended a lot on her parents' relationship."

"That's right." He nodded, holding her stomach with both hands. "Our baby's gonna be an angel, because we're in love. I love you, you love me, we're a happy family."

"I can't have a deep and serious talk with you if you keep quoting lyrics from Barney & Friends, H."

"You're so lame. Our baby would've loved that." He scrunched up his nose and tilted his head to kiss the corner of her mouth. Then, he brightened. "Hey, I think the name Darling is very cute and unique. Let's name our baby something similar, like Honey. Baby Honey sounds so cute!"

She raised an eyebrow at him, lips pressed together as she tried to contain her laughter.

"No? Okay, I'll come up with something else. But I will not give our baby some basic names like Kevin or Barbara."

She froze. "Wait, how d'you..."

"Did I say something wrong?" He gave her a confused smile as he didn't get why she seemed so shocked.

Y/N slowly shook her head and kissed the dimple on his cheek. "I almost forgot that we were like the same person sometimes. Is it weird that I want to marry you again?"

"Not at all. I would do it all over again with you." He beamed, holding her tighter. "Don't worry, love. I promise that I will be the most responsible father and role model—

"Harold!" Mason's voice on the other side of the door interrupted Harry at once. "Harold, I have your laptop!"

"Shit, my laptop!"

"Let's see what kind of porn you have in here!"

"Fuck you, Mason! Give it back right now!"

Y/N hadn't said a word but Harry had already chased his cousin down the hallway. With a gentle smile, she stared at the open door and said to their baby, as if it'd already been there, "we'll give your daddy another try tomorrow."

#flatmate!harry #husband!harry #ceo!harry #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles series #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfics #harry styles fanfictions

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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years

Text

OBEY ME! LESSON 46 DETAILED SUMMARY + THEORIES

This lesson’s got two locked chapters that I can’t unlock :’)

D takes them to the casino where they meet Mammon in the Lamp event outfit. When he laughs and tells them that they must have forgotten who he is if they think they can take the money MC ignores all of this to ask him wtf he’s wearing. Mammon blushes and tells them that they have no right to criticize what he’s wearing considering what they’re wearing. Then he says also Lucifer wtf happened to you!? He laughs and teases Lucifer about getting shrunk and how he could accidentally step on him and kill him rn or how Beel might eat him as a snack. I saw someone say that Mammon was a little shit who was also BabyTM and like Yess!??? I love when we get to see more of the asshole side of him specially when we already know how soft he is. Man’s an onion :’) Beel says he wouldn’t do that unless Lucifer hid inside a piece of cake and Beel swallowed him whole without realising. Lucifer, off screen: “You’d better realise I was there!” And Like??? That’s the point Lucifer wants to argue? Not the fact that he wouldn’t hide inside a cake? Mammon says whatever and that he’ll take Lucifer from them so he can have fun with his new toy anyway RIP to Mammon who dies after this lesson. “Mammon, Avatar of Greed, Appears”- gonna have Pokemon Battles from now on, I can’t believe this what this dating sim has evolved into :D Mammon uses wind to lift Lucifer up and bring him towards him. MC has a flashback to the previous night and commands Beel who transforms into a demon and whose body starts moving on its own, Beel then cancels out Mammon’s spell and uses a wind spell to send Mammon flying. Beel transforms back to his human form and is shocked by what happened. Solomon says MC did a good job commanding Beel though they weren’t able to draw out all his powers. They get the armour, which Beel thinks is too flashy but MC tells him it looks great which he is happy about. D tells them about a rumour of Satan attacking a town up north.

As they walk through the woods Lucifer talks about how much he’s gonna love beating the shit outta Mammon when he’s back to normal and waves MC off when they ask him to go easy on Mammon. Beel says that Lucifer used to be a lot nicer to Mammon in the celestial realm and how the two of them would team up to go argue with Raphael. Solomon asks if it was Diavolo who got Lucifer to change and what exactly Lucifer had to do to reach the status they now enjoy in the Devildom. Beel seems shocked at this and ask Lucifer if it’s true. He says he doesn’t remember. There’s growling & they’re suddenly surrounded by ghosts. Solomon: Oh yeah lol this is called the Black Phantom Forest. Everyone else: WHY the FUCK didn’t you say so before!? They run from the ghosts and set up camp beside a lake, MC & Beel talk. Beel says how they’ve all changed from their time in the Celestial Realm and he can’t remember when he stopped resisting the urge to constantly eat. But how somethings are still the same and how the brothers have always been together and how they always will be. He brings up the three things the butcher said to maintain a long relationship and how even though they may sometimes falter at the “respect each other” part when it comes down to it the brothers have all three things with each other (Not me sobbing like a baby. It’s the found family trope for me guys). Beel says how he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to fight Belphie if they meet him in the game and how he has so many people who he loves that he doesn’t know who to put first and that he knows many people would kill to have that kinda problem and that as both an angel and a demon he’s being lucky to have the people he loves. MC gets to hold his hand, lean on his shoulder or say nothing and guys I love Beel so much he’s just so pure god. Okay so theory part: I 100% believe (& it’s implied in canon and in the chats too) and the main reason Lucifer is so mean to Mammon now is because he’s scared if he doesn’t discipline him then Diavolo will and he’ll end up with another Lilith situation. That being said I NEED to know how Lucifer came across Mammon in the celestial realm and what he said to make Mammon so loyal to him. PLS om! Give me the boys backstory? I like to think Lucifer raised Mammon the same way Simeon is raising Luke and that’s why you can see some of Lucifer’s traits in Mammon whenever he becomes serious about something and why Mammon sometimes slips up and calls Lucifer “Dad” and why Lucifer becomes so happy about it. I also think the others would have been older than Mammon was when he first met Lucifer, when they eventually joined the family which is why they share far less traits with Lucifer and why (as far as we know) none of them have called Lucifer ‘dad”. If this is true it also brings up a real interesting dynamic between Satan and Mammon that would be useful when writing fics. You know a little deeply buried resentment and envy about Lucifer having been more of a father figure to Mammon than to the person who is technically his actual son, and since we know for a fact that right after arriving in the Devildom Lucifer starts going through an existential crisis and Mammon’s the one who steps up to look after the others I 100% believe Mammon’s the one who did most of the work in raising a newly created Satan and who taught him how to control his anger so well (cause lets be real it definitely couldn’t be any of the others) which also gives backstory to Satan’s “do you think Mammon’s actually the most decent of us” homescreen comment and more importantly adds spice to the relationship dynamic you can work with in fics.

When they wake up Beel is thankful that they didn’t get eaten. Solomon: not like you would have noticed with all the fun you had *wink wink* Lucifer: wtf Solomon:*WINK WINK* Me: bro they were just talking… they find out game time and real world time pass differently and come across a treasure chest in the middle of their path. Solomon: Lets open it! :D Lucifer: Expect that’s definitely a trap… Solomon: Exactly! Which is why we should open it! :D MC: Lets open it! :D Lucifer: Why is the entire human species so fucking stupid!? Why were you created without any self preservation!? Who approved this!? They find medicine, a warding bottle and cat ears. …They put Lucifer into the bottle and Lucifer’s really going through it in this huh. But opening the chest pulls up an inescapable battle with the final boss, and Satan pops up fully immersed in the villain role with an evil laugh and everything. Luci asks MC to use something from the chest and they use the cat ears and Lucifer’s disappointed when they actually work. But it only deals 222 damage to Satan’s 870k HP. Satan paralyses them all and steals bottled lucifer and calls Belphie to finish the others off. I can’t remember if I mentioned this before but how did the brothers know that Lucifer was gonna be mini before they even got home, it would’ve had to be quite a bit in advance for them to so perfectly set up everything… And you know Solomon was really determined to open that chest (I mean so was MC but the whole of season 1 was establishing that their curiosity was gonna get them killed) so…

MC tells Belphie they don’t want to fight him and Belphie says he doesn’t want to fight either but at the same time Satan agreed to give him mine lucifer for a whole day if he defeats them. Beel’s still reluctant and Belphie says Beel doesn’t have to worry cause Belphie isn’t the same small/weak person that Beel always had to protect (and holy shit I need more info on this too?). Beel eventually agrees and says that Belphie’s strong, he tells MC that they weren’t able to use his entire power against Mammon cause he was holding himself back unconsciously but that he was ready now. MC makes Beel do a bunch of wind attacks and they defeat Belphie who’s impressed. Beel says that the magic was actually MC doing it not him (even though he was the one that executed it). Belphie says he’ll join their party if MC promises him that he’ll be allowed to poke at mini luci. MC tells him there’s a damned line and he’ll have to wait his turn. Solomon wonders if MC should be going around giving the right to annoy lucifer to others but also he wants that right too. Even though Lucifer was kidnapped since he’s still in the bottle he’ll be protected so MC’s test is still ongoing. Odd that there was a bottle that would protect Lucifer should he get kidnapped in the chest that was a trap… look we all know Solomon is shady enough that he’s probably behind this right?

During dinner at a tavern the twins are sickeningly soft with each other and Solomon watches them with a smile. For the night the twins end up sharing a room with each other, with Mc and Solomon alone together. In the middle of the night MC wakes up to Solomon still up and looking sad. They ask him what’s up. He says despite how much they walked he still isn’t tired and that seeing the twins together made him lonely. Seeing how much they love and care and understand each other and how they were always together made him wish he had something similar but how when you didn’t age it was difficult to from lasting bonds like that in the human world. MC tells him that all of them care about him and he says he hopes so. Solomon: Lol just the two of us in a room in a game, wouldn’t it be crazy if we made out? MC can either kiss him or kinda stare awkwardly. If they choose the second he apologises for suddenly putting them on the spot and says he won’t try anything else. So this might be kinda an unpopular opinion and I’m genuinely really happy that the side characters are getting more screen time and development because I desperately needed that but I’m not really onboard the romancing option with them? I’m happy they’ve got their own cards now and I love the devilgram stories and romance options in them but I don’t think it makes sense in the context of the main storyline? Barbatos has almost no interaction with MC and though they haven’t shown it yet it’d be weird if he was suddenly into MC. Diavolo spent 2 whole seasons simping over Lucifer why is MC suddenly an option? Besides Diavolo always seems so lonely and I really want him and MC to be really good friends, I want Diavolo to have a friendship where there isn’t some condition that hangs over it like there is with his relationship with Barbatos and Lucifer. The same goes with Solomon. I just want him to have a good solid friendship where there isn’t expectations or power between them. He also initially only seems interested in MC for their power and as a way to train them and eventually genuinely softens up to them, Just the request to kiss seemed outta nowhere? I don’t know why but with Simeon he seems above crushes? I always imagine him seeing MC as another cute kid Lucifer picked up (despite MC being an adult) and having a sort of soft indulgent attitude towards them. I don’t know I think I just want MC to have some friends who aren’t trying to sleep with them.

Solomon is extremely chipper the next morning and Belphie grumpily makes a comment about him having fun and sdfjdvnsjdokd they just talked. Belphie uses his magic to teleport them to Satan’s castle and Beel asked why he couldn’t do that the previous night, Belphie says grumpily cause then Solomon would have missed out on the fun and Solomon agrees and THEY JUST TALKED!? Satan has managed to transform Lucifer into wolf Lucifer and is shaking his bottle hard enough to make Luci wanna puke while Lucifer asks him to stop. MC tells satan to stop and he tells them they won’t be able to defeat him cause they skipped right to the boss battle without taking the long route and levelling up. MC says they’re not gonna fight him cause this whole thing is fucking stupid. Satan says it’s not cause he’s having fun. MC gives him one of their free therapy sessions about how important the bonds between he and his brothers are and how they don’t care more about helping the brothers all get along than some stupid star. Beel comes out spitting facts, saying they all know that Satan actually cares about Lucifer and how that embarrasses him and how he needs to stop hiding it by lashing out. And how Lucifer needs to get his shit together and be honest with satan. That he needs to tell Satan that Lucifer knows he’s his own demon and a really good demon at that. Lucifer says FYI but I never said you weren’t your own great person and Satan blushes and says that unless he wants to look childish he has no option but to accept the olive branch. He tosses Luci to MC. Belphie complains about having stupid older brothers and Solomon says he’s disappointed in Satan and reveals himself as the true secret final boss and FUCK YEAH! I CALLED THAT SHIT! Kinda – I thought he might have just given them a heads up about Luci’s condition. On a different note, Satan needs serious therapy. They all do tbh.

Solomon congratulates MC on what they’ve done so far but says they still haven’t accessed Beel’s full potential and that he’ll give his ‘adorable apprentice’ one more shit at it. Solomon summons Asmo who complains about how long he was made to wait and how he nearly gave up and went to the spa and that no one likes a selfish man. Solomon tells Asmo that he can tell him all this after they get back to the real world and I genuinely want the backstory of how they met and just more about their relationship. At Solomon’s command Asmo uses charm and paralyses Beel and at MC’s Beel uses another wind attack. Asmo says he’s never seen beel do something of this calibre before and he seems more powerful, even more than he was in the celestial realm, Asmo yells at Solomon for just standing and seeming impressed instead of helping him. There’s a bright white light.

Back home with everything back to normal Beel, Lucifer and MC are hanging out by the pool. Lucifer is in an unexpectedly good mood and MC has earned a star, which glows slightly from its place on the symbol etched to the back of their hand. Inside Solomon is feeding the other brothers as punishment. Mammon is sobbing his heart out and Levi is out cold (possibly dead). Satan is given Levi’s remaining share of food and Asmo is in tears. Belphie had made a run for it the second they got home and is nowhere to be found. Solomon talks about how nice Lucifer actually is and how he really loves his brothers cause he just made Solomon make them dinner instead of punishing any of them…. Love that the canonical reason why none of these demons tell Solomon about his food and allow themselves to get tortured is cause they don’t wanna be rude and hurt his feelings. And he thought no one cared about him. If that isn’t love I dunno what is. Beel and MC take a walk while Lucifer sits by the pool and in his words basks in “their screams of agony” While blushing beel says he’s grateful for what happened and how that star is proof that they got closer. Mc can either thank him or say that the star belongs to him. I think they kiss after the second option? For the first Beel says MC’s the one who did the work of drawing out his power. Over the echoing screams from inside Beel asks if they feel like they forgot something and ndfjkfjkdjfefjkn THEY FORGOT DIAVOLO I’M!!!!???? poor baby

#my posts #my theories #obey me spoilers #obey me!#obey me #swd obey me #shall we date? obey me!#obey me shall we date

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