#if i fail ill fall apart!! maybe it is all a test cause i feel like im the worst so i always act like im the best!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yan-twst · 3 years

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Idk if I made it in time for requests so I'll send it in anyway feel free to delete if too late but headcannons of Yandere Malleus, Kalim and Leona with a darling who loves them back but is scared of being tied to royalty?

a/n: just a quick heads up- kalim isn’t royalty (i used to think he was like, the son of the sultan when i got into twst) like in the sense his family isn’t connected to the crown, however he is the heir to an incredibly powerful and influential family! it still works for the effects of being incredibly stressed to being connected to such important family- think of it as old money rich families- but just thought i’d give a heads up bc i don’t refer to him as royalty in this one. also i’m working off the assumption that the relationship is already like, happening because i don’t want to make these way longer than needed

warnings: general yandere themes, implied violence

❥ leona kingscholar

it all comes off as... almost mockery, really. it leaves a sour taste on his mouth- he can see how his darling tenses at his presence whenever his title is mentioned, how they seem to stress whenever leona’s brother writes about how he should bring his lover to the palace to meet him

it’s not them trying to make leona feel unappreciated or feared, but that’s what they do. he’s spent too long being compared to his brother, being whispered about by servants- it wouldn’t be too far off to say that he almost feels betrayed by his significant other because of this, even if their reluctance isn’t necessarily aimed at him

he isn’t above using pressure to keep them right by his side. royalty might be annoying, but it’s also pressuring and crushing. he knows better than anyone that his darling can easily crumple under it all, and he uses it for his own advantage before they can slink away from him

their face shown to the entire afterglow savannah. being presented to farena and his wife. cheka’s constant cheering and asking “when they’re gonna marry uncle leona”. he has no trouble taking his darling back home by telling them how excited farena is to see them- surely they aren’t about to disappoint the king, are they? and once there, it’s all in his ballcourt.

court manners, keeping up appearance, smile for the citizens, wave as leona puts his arm around their shoulder, try not to go pale and fall when farena introduces them as leona’s partner- this isn’t a marriage announcement, but it might as well be. after all, is it even possible to split off now...? now that everyone seems to think leona’s found his genuine love, that it’s a sweet love story of the ill tempered second prince falling in love with a no-name commoner and tossing aside traditions of royalty marrying royalty to bring them to his kingdom... it’s such a sweet story for everyone, except perhaps for the poor soul that’s trapped in the relationship with no exits

and oh, if pressure isn’t enough, then pain and threats surely will be. leona seems to easily pick his own desires over his darling’s comfort; after all, he so easily chose to shackle them to the relationship just because he feared their insecurities would cause them to leave. now that they’re effectively trapped to him by everyone’s gazes being in them, he just has to keep them docile and obedient, keep them from causing a scene.

he’s careful enough not to bruise anywhere visible if he thinks punishment is needed; long gone are the days when he’d perhaps tolerate his darling not doing as he pleased, replaced by his seemingly unwavering intent to train them into absolute submission. it’s more so mortifying when he decides to drag their loved ones into the ordeal: perhaps they’re willing to withstand pain themselves, but would they want anything bad to happen to their beloved friends back at nrc, hm?

“are you being cold to me? you should know better by now.” he isn’t necessarily angry, per se, but annoyed- by now they do know it’s already bad to have him in that mood. there’s an added danger of being back at nrc now that break is over; there’s no longer guards stationed outside the room, no longer the danger of cheka bursting in- which means leona has little to no reason to not be as horrible as he wants, provided he makes sure they can’t scream too loud beforehand. the bruises on their arms still hurt from being gripped too tightly last time he considered they weren’t behaving as affectionately as they should, and the memory immediately makes them tense. without even asking why he’s accusing them of being cold now, they apologize- meek, docile, spineless- and the grin on his face grows. perhaps they’d been to scared at the thought of being connected to royalty before and failed to realize it wasn’t leona’s connection to royalty what made a relationship with him dangerous: how many red flags had they missed before? how many of those quirks and things they chalked off to leona being a bit too possessive or territorial had been warning signs to this eventual outcome? dwelling on the past did nothing to soothe the pains of the present, though. “hmph, i don’t think i’m buying that apology. if you really want to get off without a punishment, put me in a good mood first. you can do that much, can’t you, herbivore?”

❥ kalim al-asim

sweet, innocent and cheerful kalim would seem like the sort of person who wouldn’t understand anxieties over being connected to a powerful family. he gives off such a bubbly and happy impression that such things would simply slip his mind

oh, but they don’t. he himself has suffered at being tied to his family- he’s been through enough attempted assassinations and kidnappings and poisonings that he’s almost de-sensitized to it all. he’s sunny, yes, but it’s almost surprising how cheery he is considering all he’s been through

perhaps that’s why he’s almost... sympathetic to his darling when he finally understands their plight. it’s a relief, really- it’s not that they don’t love him! he’s fine, they’re fine- it’s just a little bit of anxieties!

he understands, really... it’s so scary to have people wanting to get rid of you. well, it’s different for him, because he’s lived this way all his life, but his darling hasn’t... it must be scary for them... kalim’s affection and his simple mind, combined with his love that runs a bit too deeply mix

good intentions or not, the result is nothing more than glorified imprisonment, really. it begins with him happily saying that he asked crowley for permission to get some guards from back home to come to nrc to make sure nobody tries to break into his darling’s dorm, to then kalim insisting they spend their nights in scarabia for added safety- it snowballs from there

don’t eat the cafeteria food if it hasn’t been poison tested! actually, don’t eat in the cafeteria at all, he’ll provide the food. they don’t have someone like jamil by their side, so try not to wander outside alone! in fact, always have him close if they go out, ok?

... and of course, it ends up with maybe don’t leave the dorm, since it could be dangerous, and by then? it’s too late. kalim interpreted their anxiety as fear of dangers, because he’s put in danger because of his position, and so he seems to tell himself that as long as he keeps them safe everything is fine

even if they don’t want to do as he says, he’s just... keeping them safe. it’s his duty, as a good boyfriend, right? even if it’s painful to hear them cry from their room as he locks the door, even after he has to keep a chain on their ankle to keep them from trying to pick the lock... kalim doesn’t enjoy their pain, doesn’t relish in the sadism most nrc students seem to inherently have. but he still thinks he’s doing what he must to keep them safe: after all, wasn’t it them who were scared before...?

“i got you this, it reminded me of you! please, won’t you try it on? i’m sure it’ll look amazing on you, and it matches with me... oh, if you don’t like the colour of the gems i could get you another one, too!” kalim opens the box to present a bracelet. it’s objectively a fine piece of art- surely it’s pure gold and carved jewels, a priceless piece that most could merely dream of even looking at through a glass display, and yet to kalim, there isn’t really a price too high for his lover. they’re his most beloved treasure; and he seems to protect them as such, too, if the chain connecting the cushined cuff on their ankle to the wall says anything. it’s covered in gold and long enough they can wander around the room, but a golden chain still remains a chain. it’s almost silly to think back on how this hell began, with them being anxious over being connected to such an affluent family as the asim family was- in fact, the threats of poisonings or kidnappings hadn’t even crossed their mind until kalim began to protect them from it. and now this was life- kalim seemed to willingly ignore every single time they tried to lash out, acting as if everything was fine, showering them with gifts as if new and expensive belongings could somehow soothe the loss of their freedoms. and maybe it was partly their fault too- after all, they let him put the bracelet on their wrist, let him cheer about how pretty they looked. it was so hard to lash out against him, despite him doing all of this- knowing that he genuinely had no bad intentions, that it was all born out of love and desire to protect, but they were still prisoners with no escape.

❥ malleus draconia

there’s nothing that malleus dreads more than being feared by his darling. that’s what sets them apart from others, what makes him so obsessed, to finally have found someone to show even an inkling of kindness to him, to show him a glimmer of warmth after a life of being feared, of being shunned

he... can’t understand. why are they scared of being tied into royalty? as he sees it, it’s a step up from their current life- power, riches, comfort, those are all things that people dream of, things men have gone to war over, things he can give them. malleus doesn’t seem to comprehend the pressure of it all to someone who’s simply never been involved with the crown- he’s never truly had friends outside of his parental figure or guards, always surrounded by those who work for the crown or are part of the court.

his frustration makes him turn to his instincts. he isn’t willing to lose his darling, not over something like this- even if in reality, he’d be unwilling to let go no matter the reason. what good is power and status if he can’t at least keep the one person he loves the most...? why would he not use said power to keep them by his side?

he seems to think that if he just pushes them headfirst into it, they’ll adjust. a sort of “rip the bandaid” method; they’re anxious over being tied to fae royalty, so why can’t he just show them it’s truly nothing to stress over? they don’t need to worry about ruling or about duties- their title as royalty in the future wouldn’t mean much. they’re malleus’ lover first and foremost, their only true duties would be to stay by his side as they’ve been doing

malleus makes his decision almost worryingly quickly. it’s perhaps because this obsessive attitude has been in him all along, simply brought up by the slight bump in the relationship. maybe his draconic instincts to hoard could be blamed, or maybe his lack of real relationships, or maybe he simply was never meant to love in the regular sense

it... really doesn’t help that most fae don’t think too highly of humans. when malleus drags a clearly terrified and unwilling little human back home and declares them to be his future spouse, the fae court really seems to think of them more as the prince’s pet rather than a lover, leave alone an unwilling victim. if anything, there’s more pressure added to them, the fact that in the castle there isn’t really any ally for them

he’s persistent. malleus doesn’t want to hurt his darling much, but his temper isn’t quite stable. test him too much and he’ll snap, electricity and magic humming in the air. the faster his darling learns that the best path for them is to just do as he says, to hold him and kiss him and try and hide how their body tenses and hands shake when he enters the room, the better it’ll be for them. it’s not like they’re going to be getting any other life soon- upon returning to nrc, malleus doesn’t see the need for them to attend classes. after all, their future is already decided as a docile spouse to a king, they aren’t going to be needing much of an education, as much as they simply have to learn to be a doting and gentle spouse to him.

“i don’t understand why you’re so stressed over this.” malleus sounds genuinely confused, arms crossed as he stares at his darling. the poor thing flinches at his voice, quickly composing themselves, as if trying to hide said moment of vulnerability from him- the last thing they want is for malleus to grow more upset because he once again is forced to realize his own lover is terrified of him. still, he steps closer, close enough to cup their cheek with one of his cold hands. it takes all of their willpower to not stiffen under his touch. they’re extra jumpy today, mainly because lilia dropped by to begin court etiquette lessons. the fae’s ways are much different from humans, but from what they hear, malleus doesn’t plan on having them discuss many affairs with the court to warrant more than some infrequent reminders by lilia on how to behave. still, that does little to calm their nerves, especially because they know the reason why despite the fact they’ll soon be royalty that they’ll still have little duties. malleus caresses their cheek, thumb moving to gently swipe over their lower lip (the urge to lunge and bite seems to still scream from a corner of their brain. the urge to rebel against this, to try and claw back at their old life- urges they ignore and suppress. it’s useless- it’s all useless now, and they know trying to stand for themselves is just asking for malleus to lose it again and hurt them beyond belief in his anger). he seems satisfied with their response; that is, with the lack of response, minimal flinching and tensing, things he’s slowly become keenly aware of, are good, and speaks again what weighs heavily on their mind. “you won’t have to deal with the court much. you’ll be my spouse- your title doesn’t mean anything to worry about. you’ll simply have to continue to love me as i love you; your only job is to stay by my side forever.”

#yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #leona kingscholar #kalim al asim #malleus draconia #yandere tw #violence tw

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ninjago-happens-here · 3 years

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'Bandages come in many ways. There are gauze bandages, treating all kinds of wounds the Ninja may have. There are bandages used to prevent injury in Martial Arts. What P.I.X.A.L. is wondering, is that if mankind has a bandage for the heart.'

@ninjago-angst-week am I late or what? Sorry but I think spewing out 21k words over teh course of 3 days killed my motivation. It took 3 days just to write 6.1k words.

Summary:

P.I.X.A.L. notices that the store of bandages is running low. She thinks about all the times she had to use them on one of her teammates, and its purposes.

“Hey Pix! We’re running low on bandages. Can you help us order some before we go to Shintaro?” Nya’s voice came from the medical bay of the Destiny’s Bounty. The Ninja and Master Wu were going on a trip to Shintaro. Unfortunately, Pixal never got an invite, but she has long been used to being left behind. It’s not that it was a bad thing, per se. Pixal knew the importance of having a backup, and having someone watch over Ninjago whilst the Ninja were gone. Still, to distract herself after placing a digital order, she thought about anything that could distract her. That thing just happened to be about bandages.

Bandages. Neat, white little things that wrap around any land or sky creature. According to Wikipedia, a bandage is a piece of material used either to support a medical device such as a dressing or splint, or on its own to provide support to or to restrict the movement of a part of the body. When used with a dressing, the dressing is applied directly to a wound, and a bandage is used to hold the dressing in place. Other bandages are used without dressings, such as elastic bandages that are used to reduce swelling or provide support to a sprained ankle. Tight bandages can be used to slow blood flow to an extremity, such as when a leg or arm is bleeding heavily.

At first, that was all P.I.X.A.L. knew about bandages. Given that she was built with the main purpose of being Cyrus Borg’s assistant, her primary knowledge consisted mostly of the ins and outs of Borg Tower, emergency protocols, customer service skills, and basic first aid, given that her maker was frailer than your average Ninjago citizen.

Of course, the longer she worked under Cyrus Borg, the more she learnt about the medical field. Curious about Mr Borg’s special circumstances, she was permitted to look through the internet for more information. In no time at all, she learnt about surgery, prosthetics, all different kinds of medication, and how to diagnose illnesses. In her given free time, she studied all the information available on the internet about the medical field. Even though the information was useless to her, an android who had no physical weaknesses like the humans do, her system determined that whilst the knowledge was a bit excessive, it only helps to prepare her to care for Mr Borg.

She never really needed to apply all that knowledge about serious and fatal cuts, but when Borg gets even the slightest injury, P.I.X.A.L. was there to offer her assistance.

A year after she had been created, Cyrus Borg had offered her to take a test of the field in medicine. P.I.X.A.L. had immediately felt lighter and better somehow. When asking Borg why she was feeling this way and if robots could get sick, Borg had laughed in surprise and shock.

“That feeling is happiness, P.I.X.A.L.! It’s an emotion that all living creatures feel, you included.”

“But I am not living-“ Mr Borg cut her off.

“Technically, you are right, P.I.X.A.L., but you are intelligence, and intelligence is what defines life. You can adapt, change, and overcome as all living beings do. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise! Because that would be an insult to my intelligence!” Cyrus Borg said encouragingly. “And robots can technically get sick, from a digital virus. But I created you to be strong, stronger than I ever will be. You should not have to worry about them.”

P.I.X.A.L. nodded her head to show her understanding. “Then I will go to the exam.”

P.I.X.A.L. didn’t pass on her first try, but Mr Borg told her that it was alright, given that she still did very well considering that she only had the free internet to look for answers to a test she was unprepared for. It was human for her to have failed.

“So why did you send me there with no preparation?” P.I.X.A.L. asked with a shaking voice.

“To prepare you for failure, my dear!” Cyrus Borg said patronisingly. “Since I’ve built you, you’ve been perfect in many, many ways. And that isn’t a bad thing! But life isn’t that simple. You may fail in one way or another in the future because like humans, the circumstances may not be what you desired and plans can fall apart due to errors. What I want you to know is how failure feels like, and I will help you recover from it.”

P.I.X.A.L. nodded. It won’t be long before she faced her first, real big failure.

- Lloyd - The first time she had to really apply those skills that she learnt was when the team had seen Lloyd in the village. After he was pulled out of the ocean because he had to escape from an exploding plane that the Digilord had trapped him on. The locals had wanted to help, but Lloyd wasn’t feeling like having strangers cut him up, so they offered him some basic and outdated medical supplies.

P.I.X.A.L. could see him trying to treat himself and to stay awake, and she could see him hiss as the alcohol drizzled on his wounds.

“LLOYD!” Kai shouted in a tone that conveyed panic. This made the young ultimate spinjitzu master look up from his handiwork and immediately break into a smile. As the team had rushed forward to greet him, P.I.X.A.L. could see that his shoulders were sagging, probably from relief.

“I’m so sorry that I got caught guys,” Lloyd wheezed with an apologetic smile before keeling over, to which Cole caught him with shaking hands.

“Oh god, Zane, quick, do your thing!” Kai panicked even harder, hands jittery as if he was in an internal debate about whether he should do something or not. “I’m trying Kai! I just- my hands keep shaking for some reason!” Zane gritted his teeth in frustration. “I’m gonna run some diagnostics on him” “Okay, Cole, lie him on a flat surface- medic! Medic!” Nya screamed out.

It was at this moment that P.I.X.A.L. knew that was her chance. To repay Zane for his heart. To prove to the team that she was useful. To finally implement her knowledge. Sometimes, she wonders if she’ll ever have what Zane has with the other humans, but for now, she is glad that she can separate her emotions from her work.

“Let me handle it,” P.I.X.A.L. said authoritatively. Running a scan with her own diagnostics, P.I.X.A.L. isolated the most dangerous injuries before telling the group out loud, staring at her apprehensively.

“Master Lloyd has suffered a concussion, lung damage due to smoke inhalation, and fractured bones in his tibia. He also has a sprained ankle and several bones on his upper chest area have several bruises. Luckily, there is no internal bleeding. He also has some first and second-degree burns, but those look like they have been treated by the ocean water. However, he is at risk of hypothermia should he not change out of those clothes. Other cuts and bruises should not be life-threatening as long as we keep the infection away, and-“

“WE GET IT! Can you just PLEASE start treating Lloyd NOW?” Jay shrieked in frustration. P.I.X.A.L. blinked. Oh right, the ninjas are still panicking.

“Apologies, can I have a look at the medical supplies?” Taking a scalpel out of the medical box, P.I.X.A.L. removed Lloyd Garmadon’s shirt and so multiple bruises as well as the look of someone who’s emancipated. It didn’t really make any sense to her, but she supposed that being drained of his elemental powers must have caused some damage.

“To treat his concussion, he needs peace and to rest. I would like if all of you can speak in whispers from now on,” P.I.X.A.L. began. The soup suddenly looked ashamed and guilty, with Jay whispering a soft ‘sorry’.

“To treat his hypothermia, we would need blankets-“

“Why can’t I just warm him up with fire?” Kai cut across. “Well, the extreme heat can damage the skin or, even worse, cause irregular heartbeats so severe that they can cause the heart to stop. However, starting a campfire some meters away could help a little. using this fire, we can make some warm beverages and some food.”

“Just say what we gotta do doc, we’ll listen!” Nya begged swiftly. P.I.X.A.L. thought for a moment, before choosing to sort people out based on their perceived abilities.

“Kai, Jay, Cole, Sensei Wu, and Sensei Garmadon- please look for blankets in the village and start a campfire over there,” Pointing at a spot a satisfactory distance from Lloyd, P.I.X.A.L. continued with giving instructions. “Start making some sort of soup- not too heavy. Zane, Nya- you’re with me.”

Garmadon, who was silent all this time, started to protest. “I cannot leave my son, Pixal.”

“Fine, you may stay and just keep tending to the campfire,” P.I.X.A.L. conceded, not wanting to waste time arguing. There was the matter of fact that the smoke inhaled by Lloyd Garmadon could be fatal, but there was not much that she could do in his location. All she could hope to do was to treat his minor injuries before ensuring that Lloyd is stable enough to go to a hospital in Ninjago. Which would have been impossible, given that the Digilord had control of the city already. What could she do? Maybe there’s an elemental master of the air who could treat Lloyd?

“Pix, do you not have any ideas on how to treat the smoke inhalation?” Zane looked at her with kind and understanding eyes. Pixal nodded, defeated, before preparing a cast. “We need concentrated oxygen and a nose tube or a tube down his throat. Unfortunately, there is nowhere in Ninjago where we can get to such technology.”

Hearing this, Nya immediately perked up. “But we can make them. Zane, do you have any wires that you can spare for a bit?”

“Redirecting power from the right hand,” Zane replied as he opened up his arm to take out a tube. He’s so self-sacrificing. For some strange reason, P.I.X.A.L. felt her heart beating faster. Maybe Zane was nervous? “Nya, if you could please clean this?”

“Of course. HEY KAI!” “Yeah, sis?” Nya was looking at P.I.X.A.L. expectantly. Oh yes. she was supposed to know this, wasn’t she? “Can you get us 10 cups of potable water and 1 cup of vinegar? Also, get some detergent or soap.” “Okay Pix, not gonna question this at all!”

Meanwhile, Nya was using pure H2O to just start blasting the tubing As much as they wanted Lloyd to not die from smoke inhalation, they also didn’t want him to be infected. Speaking of infections…

“Ow!” Lloyd woke up sleepily as Zane used one hand to dab his cuts. Looking sheepish, Zane immediately offered an apology before Nya cuts in and admitting her mistake.

“Go back to Lloyd,” Nya said, petting his hair. Once Kai had returned with the necessary materials, Nya sanitised her hands before delicately cleaning the tube with 10 parts water and 1 part vinegar.

Tightening the wrappings around Lloyd’s ankle, Pixal studied her handiwork. The splint was holding up nicely against Lloyd’s leg, and all the infections on Lloyd’s legs were taken care of. Seeing as Zane is treating Lloyd well enough, P.I.X.A.L. immediately began to start diagnosing Lloyd’s burns before seeing blood flow from Lloyd’s back.

“Oh, dear.” In her hast, P.I.X.A.L. had forgotten to check Lloyd for injuries from behind. Maybe she wasn’t as professional as she thought. There was no other choice. Looking at Zane firmly, they pushed Lloyd onto his side as he gave a pained groan.

P.I.X.A.L.’s mechanical heart sank. Lloyd had a reason for sitting up without any support. There were several pieces of debris stuck to his back, and they were all pushed in due to them lying Lloyd on the desk. Nya looked up from her task in horror.

“I’m so sorry Lloyd, I didn’t know-“ “Nya, please focus on your task,” P.I.X.A.L. cut her off before she could begin crying. She felt bad, but what’s done was done. Blocking Lloyd from’s Nya’s view, P.I.X.A.L. picked up a pair of tweezers before picking up the small pieces. But the large piece of metal stuck in his shoulder blades- Pixal had to cut Lloyd’s skin to get that out. Eyes narrowing, hardening her resolve- P.I.X.A.L. lightly cut Lloyd’s skin using the scalpel before pulling up a long shard of bloodied glass. Picking up some of the unused water, P.I.X.A.L. quickly cleared Lloyd and the flat-surfaced of their blood. Applying pressure to those wounds would be hard from this angle, so after disinfecting the openings, P.I.X.A.L. took several rolls of bandages before tying them around Lloyd’s chest. Not too tightly, that would further bruise his ribs- but tight enough to ensure a sense of security and staunch the oozing bleeding.

“Zane, do you have an oxygen filter?” Nya asked, having been satisfied by the cleanliness of the tubing. Sanitising her metallic hands, P.I.X.AL. heard Zane sigh before declining.

“I do. Mr Borg wanted us to be at least a little environmentally friendly, given that the Nindroids would be using large amounts of energy every day. So I can filter out excess greenhouse gases in the air and store them in their solid form before giving the raw materials back to Borg Industries,” P.I.X.A.L. offered.

“You’re a lifesaver Pix,” Nya said in relief, handing P.I.X.A.L. the tubing. P.I.X.A.L. smiled. She supposed that she actually was. Opening Lloyd Garmadon’s mouth, P.I.X.A.L. inserted the tubing down his throat with NIndroid precision. Connecting the end to her oxygen filter, P.I.X.A.L. adjusted the settings so that she was inputting air composing of at least 60% oxygen into young Garmadon’s lungs.

As Zane finished applying some frost to Lloyd’s burns, the 3 of them stood there and watched as Lloyd breathed in and out.

“If you guys don’t mind, I’ll go find what the guys have been doing,” Nya informed their group. “I too will go into the village, but to ensure that we have permission to stay here for the night,” Zane stated, giving a nod to P.I.X.A.L., before walking away into the dusk, right hand locked and useless.

P.I.X.A.L., knowing that she can’t really move, sat next to Lloyd Garmadon as she watched the campfire grow as shrieks from the ninja team rose. At the end of today, all P.I.X.A.L. wanted to do was to just shut down and recharge. She knows she doesn’t need to know that she had half of Zane’s heart (which just skipped another beat for some unknown reason), but all she wants was a break.

Too bad that being a ninja means that you don’t really get to choose when to stop. P.I.X.A.L. thought to herself.

But at least today, I’ve proved my usefulness. I can repay Zane for his heart.

- Kai - Having been stuck alone, disassembled and scrapped, P.I.X.A.L. found that she really, really missed the Ninja team. She also missed Zane, though he was in a cell next to hers. He’s been offline for such a long time, P.I.X.A.L. had fears that he would never wake up.

But he did. And the ninja had rescued them from Chen. But along the way, they had lost Sensei Garmadon, and the year apart had caused some major issues.

Kai doesn’t know that they’re here. But he shouldn’t be here either after Zane had ordered that everyone go to rest after this long day. Still, the glint of red from his eyes even scared P.I.X.A.L., but she would never tell anyone that. She watched as Kai shredded the bandages he wrapped around his hands by destroying a metal training dummy, before turning around to wrap some more.

“Why is he doing that?” P.I.X.A.L. wondered from inside Zane’s head. Zane started whispering, “He… has some anger issues.”

“I get that Zane, I mean why’s he wrapping his hands in bandages?” P.I.X.A.L. corrected herself. Zane quirked an eyebrow but continued with answering P.I.X.A.L.’s questions. “Well, martial artists wear hand wraps and bandages because they can prevent injuries and improve the power of their punches. Wraps and bandages also protect the martial artist’s skin and soften the impact on hard surfaces.”

“I see,” P.I.X.A.L. stated whilst both of them cringed, as Kai delivered a particularly hard blow to the metallic dummy that Zane was supposed to fight with.

“KAI, PLEASE SHUT UP!” came Jay’s voice from down the corridor, moving closer towards them. Zane and P.I.X.A.L. watched in apprehension as Kai breathed heavily, staring down the metallic dummy before all the tension from his shoulders sagged.

The Nindroids watched as Kai cleaned up the training room and head out to use the bathroom to wash up.

“He’s being too hard on himself for the death of Lloyd’s father,” P.I.X.AL. commented blandly. Zane shifted from his position. “I’m afraid that that’s not the only reason. Do you remember Jay telling us that Kai had almost killed both Lloyd and Skylor using Chen’s staff?” P.I.X.A.L. stayed silent.

Bandages come in many ways. There are gauze bandages, treating all kinds of wounds the Ninja may have. There are bandages used to prevent injury in Martial Arts. What P.I.X.A.L. is wondering, is that if mankind has a bandage for the heart.

- Jay - It was only a few days after Master Wu had been lost in time. Whilst the Ninja team were recuperating and in shock, Pixal has been remotely using Samurai X to patrol the cities whilst maintaining in the current Ninja’s headquarters- the electronic system of Yang’s temple. P.I.X.AL. had really wanted to go full into Samurai X, but she knew that she could not just desert her teammates at this moment. But there wasn’t much she could do, other than counting reps for Lloyd. (You skipped a number, I know what you’re doing Pix, and I ain’t gonna stop training-) helping Jay prepare breakfast (Jay! The pancakes are burning!) or accompanying Zane as he retrieved bits and pieces from all the fighting. (Someone has to clean up Ninjago city, and I guess that that would be me and Samurai X.)

P.I.X.A.L. knew that she shouldn’t be keeping Samurai X a secret, but she couldn’t help herself. She felt a strange sense of duty, and the ability to finally be on the front lines, fighting the same enemies as Zane. And she wanted some secrets to herself.

Still, it surprised her when Jay had demanded her full attention during one of her free times.

“Hey, umm… Pix? Do you- do you think you could maybe check out my left eye?” Jay stammered whilst twiddling his fingers. Pixal was curious, but she’s already moved to Jay’s laptop. “Why do you ask so? Did your eye get hit sometime recently?”

Jay had flinched at the word ‘hit’, but shook his head at the word ‘recently’. Huh. Maybe it was phantom pains? Still, Pixal had run a diagnostic on it.

“I can’t seem to find any physical abnormalities, but if this is a case of phantom pain, over the counter pain relievers should work.”

Jay nodded whilst his eyes were blank seemingly off to another world or lost in his memories.

“Jay? Jay, can you hear me?” Pixal once again ran a diagnostic scan. It seems that Jay was slipping into dissociation. Dimming the lights in his room as well as all the screens the blue ninja had put into his room. Pixal started playing a calm Ninjago lofi mix from the speaker she was in. She gently called Jay’s name and he slipped back into reality.

“Jay, just take 2 doses of ibuprofen. They’re at the lowest shelf at the kitchen counter. If it hurts again, tell me and we’ll bring you to a professional.”

Jay who was nodding at the instructions froze at the thought of being taken to the hospital. Still, he slid off his bed and made his way downstairs. Pixal filtered through the electronic system of the temple, landing new the smart fridge and watched as Jay swallowed 2 pills dry.

It seemed to create some results because Jay stopped shivering and shaking. Pixal wondered if that was just a placebo or an actual effect. Still, watching Jay’s face relax in bliss, free from whatever pain that was bothering him, Pixal knew that she made the right call.

- Nya - S9, fight with SOG

It had been brutal. Pixal was just treating the training injuries Lloyd had when Skylor came into the noodle house, helping Nya to walk as her left arm dangled without any purpose. Immediately, Pixal stood up and took quick strides, scanning Nya for all her injuries.

“We were getting supplies when a bunch of Harumi’s goons jumped on us, we had to be quick so that none of them could call up for back up, when-“ “When- fuck, when this dude pulled out a fucking gun,” Nya said, pained and heaving as Skylor slowly helped her to sit on the training mat.

“So you were shot?” Lloyd’s voice came from behind Pixal as he took the medkit to the mat. Nya eyes looked everywhere but at him. Gesturing to her limp and bleeding arm, she gave up all her dignity. “Yeah, right here.”

“Okay, Nya, here, take these.” Lloyd handed her 2 tablets of ibuprofen and a cup of water. “W-what? No, I can’t take these!” Nya hissed in pain.

“Yes, you can!” “What if we need them later? What if one of us loses an arm or something happens where we have a worse injury?” “That does not matter, Nya. Look, I’ve been shot in Ninjago city before, I know how it feels.”

Pixal immediately flashes back to the nights where she had to help Lloyd through a computer screen, and her metallic fingers curled up. It was horrible, watching him choking down painkillers before trying to pull the bullet out himself. Never again.

“Nya, it would be alright, just take these- we can always go out to get more,” Pixal tried coaxing Nya to just swallow the pills.

“Take them or I’ll force you to take them, Water Ninja.” Skylor admonished. With the combined strength of their motley crew of 3, Nya hesitantly reached for the medicine, almost choking as she had swallowed too much water at one go.

“Okay, good, now we just need to pull the bullet out,” Lloyd reached into the medkit, pulling out a pair of tweezers. Pixal watched as his hands, fatigued from all the trains, couldn’t stop shaking.

“Wait, Lloyd, let me see if the bullet should be removed at all.” Pixal interrupted, taking a more in-depth scan at Nya’s shoulder. In the meantime, Lloyd started to check through Skylor, who said that he was all clear except for a few knuckle bruises. Of course, Pixal would check on her later, but now she had to make sure that Nya would be alright.

“The bullet has missed your major arteries and it actually isn’t in too deep, possibly because of the protection offered by your suit-“ “Just tell me when you’re gonna remove it!” Nya snapped as her brow furrowed in anticipation. “Well, let’s see… first, we need to remove the clothing around the area of the wound, which-“

“AHH!” Nya shrieked as Pixal twisted and pulled out the bullet without any warning. “Sorry Nya, sometimes fear of a thing could be greater than the actual danger that it poses,” Pixal explained as Nya stared at her with a look that could only scream betrayal.

Dropping the bullet to the ground, Pixal took up some disinfectant and sanitised the area around the entry wound. Nya hissed as Pixal gently presses a cotton gauze to stop the bleeding before finally applying some sort of disinfectant cream. She finished off the wound with a bandage around Nya’s arm, with extra padding using gauze at the point where the wound is at.

“Alright, so now you should not move this arm too much for the next few days, and in the next few weeks, you would not be able to raise it over your shoulder. But in a few months, you can use it again and in a year it would be pretty much healed up so that you may do your weight lifting sessions with- with Cole again…” Pixal said, starting brightly but dropping to a small whisper.

The mood suddenly went from cheery to depressive. “Remember to take lots of rest,” Pixal finished lamely. As Lloyd escorted Nya to the sleeping bags they had gathered, Skylor picked up the bullet Pixal had removed.

“Girl, you were quite mean back there,” Skylor began. “And I think that you’re cool. One problem- the pharmacies have not been able to continue business as normal. All the drugs have to be given to the Sons of Garmadon. In the meantime, all supply chains are disrupted. Over the counter medicine won’t be so easy to find. “

Pixal kept quiet. “Well, I’ll have to keep this bullet as a souvenir for Nya. FSM knows that she deserves this.”

Of course, the bullet would be lost later as they were hunted down throughout the city. But every time Nya changed into her swimsuit, Pixal could see the bullet wound. The scarring left wasn’t pretty, but Pixal thought that the courage Nya showed made her the most beautiful woman she’ll ever have the chance to meet.

- Cole- Cole was alive. Cole was alive!

Pixal watched as the Ninja went into a momentary stop before cheering and becoming more alive. She saw Nya pass the Scythe of Earth to Cole, who promptly swung it into the oncoming Oni. Pixal was trying her best to fend off the Oni herself, but her mind, or rather, motherboard, was spinning really, really fast. How did Cole survive? It should have been impossible!

Pixal heard that Cole justify his survival, stating that the Oni clouds must have broken his fall. He didn’t know how he wasn’t attacked at first, but many tendrils then came to attack him.

Still, this was impossible for Pixal to figure out. Was it because Cole had been a ghost? Maybe it was his elemental power protecting him? Or perhaps it was divine intervention? Either way, Pixal was going o scan him later if there was even a later.

“Watch out!” Pixal saw a blast of green hit the Oni in front of her. I can’t afford to get lost in thought now! Come on Samurai X, focus! She chided to herself.

Yet, as the battle once again turned tides, and the elemental masters got together to do the Tornado of Creation, Pixal watched from her position behind the holding doors to see Lloyd Garmadon get thrown out of the tornado, hitting his head with an earth-shattering crack as he collapsed against the walls of the monastery before debris-covered him.

Frantically approaching him, Pixal saw out of the corner of her eye that the rest of the ninja were left dizzy, exhausted, and possibly some having passed out. That was alright. It was time for her to do her duty anyways.

However, whilst lifting slabs of concrete, Pixal felt her heart drop. The calculated survival rate of the impact sent shivers down Pixal’s circuits as the percentage just kept. Dropping. Lower.

Heaving the last piece of concrete off the young bearer of green power, Pixal heard her teammates rushing into the scene. She could have warned them, said something, said anything. But her joints were frozen in place with something much colder than what her sensors had detected when she went into the Oni cloud.

The motley crew, now only 5, took the last piece of debris off from their teammate.

“Lloyd. Buddy, wake up,” Kai pleaded, desperate. “He-He's not moving!” Nya exclaimed, voice shaking as tears start to form. She looked at Pixal, asking for anything, anything at all. “Someone find Wu. Where’s Wu?” Cole ordered.

In no time, Master Wu arrived and lifted Lloyd’s arm, checking his pulse. He would find nothing there.

“You can do something, right? Right?!” Jay panicked. With a defeated look that Pixal knows is mirrored in her eyes, Wu shook his head and said, “There’s nothing to be done.” Nya finally cries out, sobbing. “Oh, Lloyd!”

PIxal wanted to cry as well, but she never could. When rebuilding her body, she had used the same blueprints that Cyrus Borg had with some upgrades. One thing she didn’t consider adding was the ability to cry because there wasn’t any time. She had to save Lloyd from the vermillion. But what she can’t save Lloyd from, was from an early- early- d… fate.

There’s nothing Pixal could do. And she felt hopeless.

She watched from the corner of her eye as Garmadon backed away from their small group, and in a flash, she felt her wires burning. She couldn’t just let him leave. Not after what he’s done.

Yet, just as she was about to boost straight towards the Oni and tackle him off the mountain, Lloyd started to cough. Lloyd. Started to cough.

Whipping around to see a golden petal float away, she watched the team cheer as Lloyd started to breathe. How- this was impossible! Pixal almost short-circuited from shock. There had been no way! No way! She didn’t even go through all 5 stages of grief yet.

And not too soon, Lloyd woke up from a sleep that she was sure that he never would.

Catching him mumbling something about the First Spinjitzu Master, Pixal smiled. Divine intervention had definitely happened at least once today. The first time being….

“Cole, please come with me to the med bay,” Pixal requested with a smile. Divine intervention or not, five-sixths of the Ninja team knows how to hide a serious injury, and she had to be certain. Cole, who looked shopped, resigned himself and walked with Pixal o the medical centre. For now, she trusted that Zane was doing all the scans that he could to make sure that Lloyd was right in the head, and sought out to take care of her own, albeit selfish, worries.

Scanning Cole on both sides, Pixal noticed a particular bad bruise on Cole’s spine. Yet falling from that height and the fact that Cole isn’t paralysed due to spinal injury made Pixal reaffirm her theories that the First Spinjitsu Master was alive, just in another realm.

“You know, Lloyd might have actually seen the First Spinjitsu Master,” Pixal began, which led Cole to choke on the water he was ordered to drink. “No way, he must have just hit his head hard…”

“I’m sorry Cole, but the injuries you have is comparable to sleeping on a rock hard bed for one night, not falling from a height of 500m, even if your fall was broken by the Oni cloud, you should still have been paralysed,” Pixal explained.

“So God is real and Lloyd’s sharing a fourth of his blood? Neat! Next time tell him to not scare us with a fake-out,” Cole brushed it off.

At this time Pixal was about the shutdown and delve deep into theorising. Lloyd technically had a fourth of his grandfather’s blood and possessed the same power, could he possible have powers that control life and death-

Yet, she watched as a steady stream of Ninja enter the medbay, and resolved her thoughts to her inner GPU. She can think later. For now, she had to make sure that everyone is okay, and everyone will be okay. Even if she threatens Loyd to shave his head so she can get a better look at his skull, to which a chase around the monastery ensued. Her family was alright for now, and the concerning mortality of humans was left deep in the recesses of her mind.

- Zane - Too soon, Pixal had to face her own mortality. Being a Nindroid, her lifespan would naturally be much longer than a Ninja’s. But she still could be erased, dismantled, destroyed, sent to another realm-

The days waiting for the group of 6, not 5, to come back were some of the hardest. Even though all Pixal wanted to do was to shut down, lie on her bed and stare into the picture they had taken on their first date, Pixal knew that the team was entrusting her to keep Ninjago safe. Even if it means recapturing escaped convicts. Even if it means fighting the… undead-dead Preeminent (Pixal still hasn’t figured out how she worked). And they had to find ways to reach the Never Realm, by going through different infusions of travellers tea.

Yet, all the waiting and longing was worth it. Pixal prefers a Zane stuck in another realm for 40 years as to no Zane. There was no other choice. Yet, as she sees her loved ones trudging out of the frosty realm, some of them had worst frost bites than others. Even though all Pixal wanted to do was to smother Zane in a hug, she can see the edges of Lloyd’s skin turning a deep, dark black. From the corner of her eyes, she can see Nya taking care of Cole whilst Jay and Kai attempt to remove the ice from everyone else, including lubricating Zane’s frosted joins. She had not a single moment to lose. This kind of frostbite was not exactly lethal immediately, but losing limbs could mean the end of Lloyd’s ninja career. So calling everyone to attention, she went all in to salvaging Lloyd’s limbs, doing everything she could.

Later that night, Pixal spotted Zane wandering around the outskirts of the monastery whilst the Ninja finish up dinner. She watched as Zane’s hands gripped the staff so tight that the wood would be snapping in 3…2…1.

A harsh crack and splinters flying out later, Pixal could see the shaking in Zane’s hands as he cursed, something that the Zane she knew never would.

For her, it had been a hellish week. But for Zane? It must have been a hellish 40 years.

“…Zane?” Pixal called out from the monastery doors. Zane immediately whipped around before pointing the tip of the staff towards her, to which Pixal reflectively grabbed. Zane, eyes widening in shock and horror, immediately released his grip on the now shorter staff, before turning around, trying to run away. Pixal won’t let that happen.

“Zane,” Pixal said once again, hand now gripping onto the collar of Zane’s Gi. “Please don’t run away from me.”

Zane, froze, hands twitching before dropping them to his side. Pixal released her grip before tapping Zane on the shoulder, asking him to turn around.

“Pixal, I’m- I’m sorry…I just can’t- I can’t trust myself right now,” Zane vented out hands fidgeting with each other. Pixal smiled sadly. She knew that not everything could go back to normal so fast, but still, she had hoped that it would have been easier than this. “If you don’t trust yourself right now, why not spend some time with me?”

“Pixal- I…I could hurt you-“ “Yes you can, but don’t think that I can’t protect myself,” Pixal snapped back whilst carefully reaching to hold Zane’s hands. Once she made contact, Zane flinched back, before slowly reciprocating the action. “C’mon Zane, let’s go back into the monastery-“

“No!” Zane protested, wrenching Pixal back. Pixal clasped her other hand on top of Zane’s. “Not to the dining room. I’m thinking med bay.”

Pixal could see Zane’s processing unit cycle through his thoughts, noticing that it had considerable frost damage. Before long, Zane nodded his head, allowing Pixal to pull him into the light.

Opening the cupboards, Pixal took out a few rolls of bandages before carefully wrapping them around Zane’s hands. The ice ninja watched with curiosity as Pixal carefully finished tying and tightening the strips of cloth.

“Why are you doing this? You and I both know that Nindroids don’t need bandages,” Zane asked. Pixal smiled, looking at Zane’s now steadier hands. “Maybe bandages can’t fix our metal skin, but it still makes us feel better.”

Zane paused, looking down at his hands. “I don’t know how you’re right PIx, but they do make me feel more sure that my powers won’t hurt anyone accidentally. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now let’s get back to dinner, we have some desserts to bring out.”

Bandages. As much as PIxal uses them and finds them efficient, she can’t help but hope that team doesn’t need to use as many. But this time, t’s just a trip to a legendary city full of peace and prosperity. Maybe this time, Pixal doesn’t need to bandage their wounds away.

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carewyncromwell · 3 years

Photo

[HPMA] Rim Sikander Moodboard

featuring Maya Ali as Rim

“One track mind, one track heart -- If I fail, I'll fall apart! Maybe it is all a test -- ‘Cause I feel like I'm the worst, So I always act like I'm the best... If you are not very careful, your possessions will possess you: TV taught me how to feel...now real life has no appeal... It has no appeal -- it has no appeal -- It has no appeal... It has no appeal -- it has no appeal! I know exactly what I want and who I want to be -- I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine -- I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy... Oh -- oh no! Oh no! Oh no -- oh!”

~“Oh No!” by Marina and the Diamonds

x~x~x~x

Rim Sikander is the only daughter of Muggle Studies professor Arif Sikander’s brother, Hamza. She is also the younger sister of Fawkes the phoenix’s new Muggle owner, Farid Sikander.

If any child was going to be considered the “favorite,” it would probably be youngest child and only girl, Rim. Academically brilliant and incredibly driven, Rim won’t let anything stand in the way of her ambition to become a well-respected financial advisor, whether it’s her gender, other people’s prejudice toward her Irish heritage or Muslim faith, or even her own father Hamza’s pointed encouragement to become an investment banker instead. Unlike her older brothers Malik and Farid, Rim uses her brain far more than her heart when it comes to decision-making, often making her the level head of the family. Unfortunately, when Farid is forced to leave his family so he can’t tell them about the Wizarding World he’d inadvertently discovered through Fawkes the phoenix, that level head was ill-equipped to try to fill the gap he left behind. Rim was sharp enough to know that Farid had always been the peacekeeper, being able to both cool Malik’s hot temper and soften Hamza’s harsher words -- and without Farid to soothe them, and because Hamza was the one who’d supposedly sent Farid away in the first place, Malik and Hamza’s relationship became very hostile. Even Hamza’s marriage with Nida was suddenly on the rocks. For as brilliant as Rim was, she couldn’t bring her family back together again with logic and reason, and her failure to fix things made her fall into a severe depression that she nonetheless tried to soldier through. She couldn’t afford to fall apart when things were so bad. Even if she knew full well that Farid would likely be the only person with the right instincts on how to mend the bonds broken in their family, he wasn’t there to fix things -- only she was. And when Farid was finally able to return...Rim knew her brother well enough to know that he would be heartbroken, if he came home to a family broken beyond repair.

Tagging @lifeofkaze because hey -- this is your girl Reva’s future sister-in-law!! xoxo

#hpma #rim sikander #farid sikander #aesthetic #moodboard #arif sikander #hamza sikander #malik sikander #if malik is a gryffindor/slytherin type and farid is a hufflepuff/ravenclaw type this girl is flat-out ravenclaw #basically these three siblings are body heart and brain respectively #rim specifically is an intj so she can seem a little coldblooded compared to her siblings #but she's really not she's just logical and sensible to a fault #it makes it so she's slow to anger but she also has a lot of trouble talking to people about their emotions #she finds it very illogical to get all hot-and-bothered about stuff and so finds hamza's resentment and malik's temper exhausting #but at the same time she loves her family and she knows how much farid would hate seeing everyone this way #especially malik #so she tries to keep things together as best she can even being carrier pigeon sometimes between hamza and malik #this does prompt some heated exchanges between malik and rim #but malik wouldn't ever cut his siblings out of his life like he does hamza -- he's way too overprotective of them #so they always make up not long after #rim wants to be a personal financial advisor because she wants to solve individual people's problems not corporate problems #she wants to see the results of her labors first-hand and have a personal stock in them

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mccnyoongi · 5 years

Text

buttercup ⇢ pt one

⇢ pairing: yoongi x fem!reader

⇢ genre: smut + slight angst

⇢ au: college!au, fwb!au, stoner!yoongi, assholeish!yoongi, fuckboyish!yoongi fwb to lovers trope

⇢ word count: 6k+

⇢ warnings: smut, honestly mostly porn, unprotected sex, recreational use of drugs & alcohol, dirty talk, praise, degradation, ridiculously excessive use of pet names, fingering, dom!Yoongi, unprotected sex, slight dumbification (whoops), hair pulling, creampie??, oral (f receiving), pussy slaping, reader has a thing for Yoongi’s hands because who doesn’t, reader and yoongi are both sarcastic and oblivious, this part is basically pwp.

⇢ synopsis: Min Yoongi wears leather jackets, fucks you like he hates you, spends most of his days on the wrong side of a blunt, and calls you the sweetest names when no one else is around. And you definitely aren’t falling in love with him.

⇢ author’s note: so yes, buttercup is being cut up into two parts thanks to a lot of my life getting uprooted this week!!! ill spare you the details but everything is really chaotic rn so im sorry this isnt exactly what i promised :( thank u for all the insane amont of love ive gotten so far. this is a pretty um... filthy piece of writing skfjsd and it’s definitely not perfect and id love to get better with everything i put out on here but i hope u guys enoy ily xx

If there was a magic lantern hidden somewhere on the campus of this university, you’d find it and your first wish would be to make it so that no one found out about this whole illicit affair you’ve been having with Min Yoongi. The secrecy was fun, sexy like you guys had a whole Mr. and Mrs. Smith thing going on. Or something. Your second wish would be to make his dick vibrate.

But then he just had to go and go down on you in a bathroom during a party at the Beta Tau Rho house, not even a month into the fall semester, knowing you wouldn’t be able to be quiet or subtle at all. And he was so smug about it too, the fucker.

You can still feel the embarrassment buzzing under the surface of your cheeks from when you walked out that bathroom door and a dozen frat boys and mutual friends of yours and Yoongi’s were out there, waiting for the two of you to emerge and giving you a round of applause when you did. Yoongi had just laughed and rolled his eyes before leading you to the kitchen to get the pair of you some drinks. He’s always been particularly good at brushing that shit off of his shoulder. You aren’t, but you’re pretty good at pretending.

Maybe you should have ended it all that night. Of course, you didn’t. You figured, hey, you’re young and in school so fuck making good decisions. Of course, the fact that no other guy has ever been able to dick you down nearly as well as Min Yoongi can is probably a huge contributing factor.

Sure he might be grumpy, and sarcastic, and he tries way too hard to look cool and nonchalant, but he’s also the first guy to ever make you squirt. And you’re pretty sure that the way he waxes poetic about your pussy would make even Shakespeare swoon. So maybe the pros outweigh the cons, but only just.

“I can’t believe you’ve been getting Yoongi dick for almost three full months and haven’t divulged every single detail and vein to me, you cold, uncaring bitch-” Jimin’s voice is far too loud for the student-run coffee shop the two of you regulared every Sunday; a tradition that Jimin always insisted upon. He loves his traditions almost as much as he loves destroying any personal boundaries between the two of you.

“Keep going Park, see if I ever buy your coffee again.”

“Don’t change the subject,” You can’t say you’re surprised that Jimin is reacting like this. Self-proclaimed ‘disaster bisexual,’ Jimin was one of the very first friends you made back when you were a shy, barely functioning freshman.

He actually introduced you to all his frat brothers, and a large number of the people you now call your friends. Including Yoongi, whose dick seems to be a reoccurring topic between you and… most people you know. Even if they weren’t at that dumb party, Jungkook made sure that every living being that stepped onto campus was aware of the newly found out fuckbuddies.

“We don’t keep anything from each other, Y/N,” He’s whining over his coffee now, full lips perched in that pretty pout that he regularly uses to his advantage. “I even told you about that time I puked on Namjoon’s dick in our second year!”

“Mmm, and I wish you hadn’t told me, Minnie-” The visual still haunts you, but Jimin has never had any predilections when it came to oversharing, especially not with people who have the misfortune of being his best friends. “‘Sides, I didn’t figure it was important, the whole Yoongi thing-”

“His dick, you mean.”

“Because it’s not like we’re getting married,” You carefully ignore him, a useful habit you’ve picked up three years into being his friend. “Just sex, remember?”

“So fucking what? You told me how you sucked Jeon’s cock in a movie theatre less than twelve hours after it happened-” You take a large gulp of your own iced coffee to busy yourself when the shameful memory is brought up. Not shameful because of the promiscuity of the act, no you’re an adult, thank you very much, but rather because of the boy you performed them on. Jeon Jungkook is now more of an annoying younger brother to you than anything. Not to mention he’s got a giant mouth that couldn’t keep a secret even if it killed him.

“Jesus you could’ve picked any other example-” You groan out as Jimin smirked, receiving the exact reaction from you he wanted. You think you’d have learned by now. “I’m sorry, okay? You big baby.”

“Hey, you’re on thin ice,” He points an accusatory finger at you and you have to fight the urge to smack it out of your face. “Now you have to make it up to me.”

You sigh- Jimin can really be exhausting when you’re only half a medium coffee in. “And how do you expect me to do that, Park.”

“Dick details, fucking obviously,” He says it like you’re a moron for even asking. And maybe you are. “Well details in general, I guess. You know, the basics; length, girth, does he make you call him daddy, is he good- I mean he must be un-fucking-real if you’ve been bouncing on it for three goddamn months, you whore.”

“I’m not giving you measurements, Jimin, I’ve yet to take a tape measure to it- and stop assuming everyone has a daddy kink just ‘cause you do.”

“Okay, vanilla bitch. You’re lucky I already know he’s got a monster cock from that time he streaked at that post-mid-term party next year.”

“Then why’d you even ask?”

“To see if you’d tell me the truth. It was a test and you failed.”

“I may be a college student but you’re gonna have to threaten me with a little more than a failing grade to spook me,” You roll your eyes playfully- there’s no real threat in his words, there never is.

“You’re right, I’m sure you’d much rather be punished by Yoongi, huh?”

..............................................................................

Watching Yoongi roll a joint, his long, slender and experienced fingers moving quickly and deftly, has always had this near hypnotizing-like effect on you. His apartment smells like weed, the scent never surprising and would almost be overwhelming if you weren’t so used to it by now. The sight alone is almost enough to make you wet. But you’re stronger than that- except for when you’re not.

Sexy hands aside, but unfortunately not on you, you’re thankful for his cannabis-related expertise because a) you can’t roll one yourself to save your life and b) despite normally reserving your consumption habits for parties, you feel like you deserve a fat one after the week you’ve had. What with, you know, the stress of having every student on campus knowing about yours and Yoongi’s torrid affair, thanks to fucking Jeon Jungkook. Brat. Plus incessant goading from both Jimin and your roommate, Irene- equally angry as Jimin about your worst kept secret- has only made you sink further into your insecure and paranoid thoughts.

The weed would help, you’d told yourself when your phone pinged with that much anticipated what’re u up 2? late night text from the raven-haired devil himself. Yep, it was the weed, the comforting blanket of getting high. And had nothing to do with the boy that was offering them. Not even his fat cock or magnetic pull he seemed to have on you.

“Alright, dove,” He says from his spot on his worn-out single-dorm couch- the names don’t tend to surprise you the way they used to. You kinda figured that the affection-starved Yoongi had just you know… gotten comfortable with the girl he had been fucking for the last couple of months. No big deal. Sure they made your heart swell and your panties dampen, but then it could be looked at as a positive.

He looks up at you from his spot on the couch, where he’s uncomfortably hunched over the table as he works and notices how you’re looking rather spaced out- not entirely rare for you. He’s used to the hundred-mile stare you tend to adopt when deep in thought, though it’s considerably less common for a sober you.

“Dove?” Nothing. “Y/N?” It’s the use of your actual name from his lips that finally grabs your attention. You finally turn your head to look at him, the glaze of deep thought finally leaving your eyes. An eyebrow quirks to let him know you’ve heard him, but his gaze remains piercing and unwavering on yours. “You need to stop worrying so much, dove.”

“That’s what the weed is for, Yoongs.”

“The weed? You’re just here so I can smoke you out then, huh? No ulterior motives, hm?” His tone is as dry and sarcastic as ever, qualities he had quickly become known for around campus. He shurgs “Fine. Just here to sesh. C’mere then.”

You scoot closer to his side of the couch, not even thinking twice before listening to him. His tongue is tantalizing as he licks the rolling paper, even if he doesn’t mean it to be. He’s almost always tantalizing to you.

“Don’t be grumpy. You invited me over,” Your words are softer than you meant, but your proximity to him makes you feel stilted. He was right, you really needed a smoke, more on edge than ever.

“Well, technically,” He starts, unlit, perfectly rolled joint now perched between his lips. He grabs at your legs before continued so that you were resting sideways on the black couch, legs strewn over legs, thighs touching thighs. “I invited the best pussy on campus over.” You crinkle your nose at his bluntness.

“Yoongi-” You scold indignantly and pinch at a well-toned bicep. “Don’t be an asshole, you asshole.” He grins despite the insult like he’d expected it. Or he’s revelling in it.

“You know I’m just fucking around, angel,” His arm tucks around your waist comfortably, pulling you even closer. “Tryna chill you out. I can tell when you’re all strung out. I know how you,” He pokes you in the middle of the forehead, still grinning, as you pout from being called strung out. “Tick.”

He really does, doesn't he? The thought is mildly terrifying, and you think that Yoongi might be too smart or his own good sometimes. When he’s not smoking himself into another dimension, that is.

He leans back into his seat, uncurling from around you to finally light up. A few sparks later and the room is fogging up with overly pungent smoke- the cheap smell makes you think that he probably bought it off of Hobi, too lazy to go any further off-campus than his own block of apartments to one of the nice but relatively affordable dispensaries. You crinkle your nose at the scent, grateful he’s too distracted to notice since he’d probably just tease you for liking the fancy shit more. At least you trust Hobi, and he lives only two buildings down from Yoongi. Truly an age of convenience.

A few passes, tokes, whatevers later, and you’re feeling substantially... floaty. You’ve completely relaxed, choosing to lie down rather than put the effort into sitting up, though your legs are still thrown across your equally high counterpart’s. What’s left of the roach is left to burn in one of many strategically placed ashtrays around the apartment, this one being on the living room table.

Yoongi has barely moved in the past while, head resting lazily on the back of the couch, black hair messy and his neck- which is somehow handsome to you- stretched out, and hands resting against your bare knees. You’ve barely paid him any mind, the silence nothing but comforting and easy.

Which is why you can’t help but jolt just a little in surprise when those hands, the hypnotizing ones you’re so obsessed with suddenly start creeping up your legs, halfway up your thighs, carefully kneading the supple flesh he finds there. He chuckles at your reaction, finally picking his up his head to watch you through heavy-lidded eyes. “Bet you’re extra sensitive right now, huh petal?” He doesn’t have to bet because he knows it’s true, knows how needy you get when you’ve smoked. And he loves it- it’s why he never makes you pay for any of the times he smokes you out.

“Fuck off,” You whine at his light-hearted teasing, but Yoongi just giggles- he fucking giggles- in response, hands still travelling the expanse of your thighs.

“Be nice,” His words are still jovial, but there’s a gruffness behind them that sends a shiver down your spine, despite the relative stuffiness of his living room.

“I am nice, you’re just a dick,” You pout- childish, but you can’t quite come up with anything more clever at the moment. The jab may be weaker than your usual quips, but Yoongi seems to have decided it’s enough to warrant a punishment of sorts, as he sends a quick slap onto your thigh. It’s certainly not the harshest hit you’ve received from him, it’s more playful than anything, but it’s enough to make you whine, not even noticing when your own hands jump down to grab at him and your now sore flesh.

His eyes take on a new sort of darkness, beyond the dilated pupils from the high he’s in the middle of as he grabs at your wrists, any assault you had planned halting in its tracks. His large hands that you’ve drooled over- figuratively and literally- many a time are big enough that he only needs one of them to hold both of yours steady. He uses his grip on you to yank you back up to a sitting position, where your noses almost touch and you can feel his breath fan across your lips.

“I told you, I know how you tick,” He lets his tongue swipe out to wet his lips, the act distracts you and makes you mimic it with your own tongue and lips. The smirk he gives you is all at once wicked and panty dampening. “Which means I know you like it when I’m mean. I know you like when I treat you like this, like my little slut,” The word makes you draw in a breath as your face reddens in humiliation and tension. “And- and I know you’re probably soaking through your panties right now, all over my couch. Making a fucking mess.”

It infuriates you to no end how right he is as your breaths come out shaky and uneven as you feel your pussy flutter around nothing beneath your shorts and panties.

“Aren’t you?” His tone doesn’t leave room for playfulness anymore, and you’re nodding dumbly before you can give it a second thought. “Good girl.”

He doesn’t give you any time to bask in the praise before he’s leaning in to capture your lips in a searing and sloppy kiss. He’s domineering even in the way he kisses you, teeth biting and tongue sweeping into your own mouth as he revels in the small sounds that escape you. His hands leave your wrists, freeing them so you can grip onto raven locks with a newly freed hand as his own wrap around your waist.

Every sense is filled with him, and it is all at once comforting and exhilarating.

He tugs and roughly manhandles you so that you’re properly astride his denim-covered thighs, your lips never untangling in the process. When your lips finally do come apart, it’s with a lewd sound and a gasp from your mouth. He’s still smirking.

“Gonna fuck you so good petal,” Yoongi has always been so blunt and unforgiving, whether in bed or out and it had been one of the things that first attracted you to him, besides his obvious good looks.

Before the two of you had even gotten together, when you were friends who didn’t fuck on the regular, you had even mustered up the courage to touch yourself to the thought of him speaking to you like this- your own fingers circling your clit and delving into yourself without abandon. You had only been able to imagine up a fraction of his sexual prowess.

Like the time only a few weeks ago you admitted to him in a foggy haze, high than you think you’d ever been. how you’d brought yourself to climax with images and soundbites of him flitting through your head. He’d immediately made you put on a show for him- recreating those nights, but this time with him sitting feet away from you and ignoring your pleas for him to touch you.

Right now, however, the only things keeping you grounded in reality is the feeling of the muscles in his thighs flexing beneath you, though nowhere near where you truly ache to be touched, and one of his hands brutishly tangled in your hair, pulling harshly so he can have easy access to your neck. Plush lips start soft, kissing and licking at the skin there, before his teeth join in, biting and sucking like he loves the taste of you (because he does).

“Y-yoongi-” You’re trying to keep the whimpers at bay, like maybe if you stop yourself from seeming so turned on so fast it’ll get him to fuck you faster. “C’mon, just fuck me already.”

“So demanding for such a needy bitch,” He has you squirming on his lap and you don’t know why you thought you had any power over him left. “Have you forgotten your place? Can’t think of anything else but getting fucked, huh?”

You nod in agreement, but find out he must want a verbal response when you’re met with a sharp spank to your ass that has you squealing and bucking into his lap. “Yeah, yeah Yoongi ‘m sorry, just need it.”

“I know, baby, I know, you can’t even help it when you get all messy like this, I know,” You can’t decide whether his words are sweet or patronizing when he coos at you like that, but either way he’s got you another pair of panties.

“Need you to fix it, Yoongs,” All pride is out the window when he’s got you like this, and you love pleading with him to give you what you want almost as much as likes making you beg.

“I will,” He gives you one more harsh bite to the junction of your neck and your shoulder that you know will blossom into a bruise just in time for your 10 AM class tomorrow and you hiss at the mingling of pain and pleasure. “Now fucking get up,” He pats lightly at your thigh twice at the order.

You’re in no position to disobey, and you know from experience that not listening to him will end up with a sore ass and no release in sight. You stand up on shaky, doe-like legs and he grins at the sight of you. He stands up with you, his lean form and strong stance making him look taller than he really is. Then his long fingers are pulling at what little clothing you have, stripping you of both your tank top and your shorts and your bra isn’t far behind. Soon you’re clad only in your panties while he’s still fully clothed in black form-fitting jeans and a plain white t-shirt. Thankfully he leaves his cliche, but devastatingly sexy leather jacket at the door.

He doesn’t make any move to undress at all and you hope to god he will eventually- you love seeing his honey-coloured skin covered in a thin layer of sweat as he fucks you into oblivion. But for now, he stays fully clothed and he roughly pulls you by your upper arm until he can bend you over the arm of the couch, panty-covered ass high and perfectly on display for him.

“God, you’re fucking dripping,” He taunts, fingers running over your pussy through the thin cotton, making you whine into the rough cushion your face is resting on. “All this from almost nothing, huh? You’re such a fucking slut for me, shit.” He sounds genuinely amazed by you and when you uncomfortably crane your neck back to get a good look at him you let out a proper moan. He must have stripped his shirt off when you weren’t facing him, because his chest is bare for you to gaze at, or you would gaze at it if you weren’t distracted by the hand that isn’t on you, which is lazily working over his cock, rock hard and aching through his jeans.

He smirks when he notices what’s grabbed your attention, knowing you’re only moments away from quite literally drooling on his pillows. “Is this what you want? Hm?”

“Ye-yeah your cock, Yoongi, need your cock,” Your face burns red and blood burns hot as the crude words leave your mouth.

“And you’ll fucking get it, dove,” The cute name contrasts the second harsh spank he lands on your ass and you moan at the delicious sting.

You think that he must be about to tear your panties off and sink into you, but that would be too predictable and Yoongi loves to keep you on your toes. Instead, he disappears from your line of sight, a dull thump coming from the hardwood as he drops to his knees, feline gaze now level with your cunt.

“Yoongi-” You’re whining again, and you even have to hold yourself back from stomping your foot childishly because, god, you just need him to do something.

And then he finally does- he licks a thick stripe, right from your clit to your entrance, still over your panties, and you gasp in surprise. He does it again, twice, three, four times until your hips are bucking and you’re whining because you need more, you need him to actually touch you and not be a giant fucking tease for once in his life.

“Be fucking patient,” He hisses out, but at least he’s finally rolling your underwear down your legs to toss them somewhere across the room. “Or I swear to god, I’ll hold you down just like this so you can’t even squirm while I get myself off all over your messy cunt,” His hand is running up and down your bare pussy as he speaks, spreading the wetness around, to your clit and your thighs and your ass and then back again. “And then I’ll send you home without touching you or cleaning you up, so you’ll have to take the subway home covered in my come and fucking trembling. So be fucking good.” At the last word, he lands a mean slap against your gushing cunt and you let out an embarrassing squeak.

“Shit-fuck- Yoongi, please, just-” You stutter through your words, needing to get them out, though you don’t know why. “I’ll be good, okay? ‘M your good girl, I am, promise, I’ll be good.”

He doesn’t respond, at least not verbally. But you have to assume he’s happy with your desperate response when he finally delves into your pussy like a man starved, tongue licking into you, the muscle sending spasms up and down your legs. You have to muffle your moans by biting into a pillow, not needing another altercation with his neighbours, but you want nothing more than to yell his name as loud as you can until your voice goes hoarse when he shakes his head from side to side, tongue still buried inside of you and one of his hands now roughly circling your clit.

It’s too much, but it’s not nearly enough. It’s when he switches positions between his hand and mouth that you think you might explode; his mouth latches onto your clit, tongue circling and playing with it and two fingers fucking into you, preparing you for the impressive girth of his own cock.

Your teeth let go of the strong grip it has so you can warn him of your impending orgasm. “Yoongi- gonna come-” You manage to choke out between barely quieted moans.

You know that he wouldn’t be able to respond if he was still suckling on your clit, but you still whine and wiggle your hips as he pulls away, earning you yet another spank to your rear, where you can only assume a nice handprint is forming. “Yeah? Want you to come all over my face, like a good messy whore- gotta come for me before I can fuck you like you need.”

When his mouth finds your swollen clit again, you can’t help it as your orgasm barrels through you almost violently, every muscle tensing and fingers grasping at whatever they can find, neighbour’s delicate sensibilities forgotten as you moan out Yoongi’s name. He licks you through it, fingers no longer pistoning into you. When the last of the tremors have faded he finally pulls away, using his clean hand to wipe your mess off of his chin, though it hardly cleans him.

“Good fucking girl,” The roughness with which he was grinding his still covered bulge into your now sopping wet center would be impossible to ignore even if your head weren’t a million miles away. But for now, everything is Yoongi, every single scent is filled with him and you think that that might be making your head even fuzzier than the drugs coursing through your system, but you’re too far gone to be sure. Or to even care.

Because all you can think about is his mouth-watering hands kneading at the slightly pinkened skin of your ass, his mouth-watering cock rutting against you and his mouth-watering, well, mouth pressing wet kisses and occasional bites up and down your spine. “Yoongi,” You meant to speak with at least a little more conviction, but his name comes out as little more than a mumble.

“Hm,” He hums against your skin and even those slight vibrations reverberate straight to your heart, which starts beating faster at the thought of what’s to come. “What, is my babygirl still needy?”

The use of the word my in front of the affectionate name makes your heart jump, but you don’t even have time to scold yourself for thinking with your post-orgasmic pussy before he continues talking with that sinful mouth of him. “Such a greedy, desperate girl, won’t be happy ‘til you’re stuffed full of my fat cock,” His words have you whining and grinding back against him, where you don’t have to look to know you’re leaving a stain on his favourite jeans. If you’re unlucky- or lucky depending on your mood- he’ll make you clean it up with your tongue as further delicious torture.

But smoking makes Yoongi needy too, no matter how much he teases you for the effect it has on you, and he can’t wait much longer, not with his cock so hard he was a razor blades’ edge from losing his mind. He needs to be inside you as much as you need him.

Which is why you don’t doubt him for a second when he’s murmuring things about how he’s ‘gonna fuck you so good, gonna fuck you stupid,’ and you can only respond with even quieter whispers of ‘I knows’ and ‘pleases’ as he strips himself oh the rest of his clothes, hissing from oversensitivity as his cock makes contact with the air. It’s wonderfully overwhelming and he’s not even fucking you yet.

You can’t even explain how grateful you are when Yoongi turns you around because you love just seeing his cock. You’ve never been one to describe guys’ dicks as pretty before- except that TA you managed to fuck before Jimin sunk his claws into him, Kim Seokjin, because, well, you’re not blind. But Yoongi’s dick is gorgeous. It’s not the biggest thing you’ve ever seen, and it doesn’t have to be, not when it’s girthy enough to make you salivate with a curve that points to the heavens. Gorgeous.

He’s pulling you on top of him so he can sit back down and you’re back to straddling him, and you don’t complain because you know he’s tired both from the pot and crouching on his haunches for access to your center not two minutes ago. Plus he loves when you ride him, breasts bouncing in his face, wetness making a mess out of his lap and full access of your entire body for both his hands and lips.

“Need you to bounce on my fat cock before I fucking explode, baby,” And you’d have to be some sort of a madwoman to deny him.

“Need it too, Yoongs,” You don’t know why you feel the need to remind how desperate you are for him, surely he can feel it, your swollen pussy resting only centimetres above his throbbing length. “Can’t think of anything else.”

“I know,” He’s rubbing the angry red tip against your sopping folds, tinges of overstimulation making you jolt. Or you would jolt if his hands weren’t heavy on your waist, keeping you steady so you couldn’t a) get away from his cock or b) properly sink down onto it. “So pathetic and perfect for me like this, all cock drunk and fucked out and I haven’t even fucked you yet, huh?”

You nod frantically, and you can’t even find the energy to be embarrassed when a hand comes up to pet your hair with a condescending ‘awe’ as he pouts at you. You bat his hand away with a whine and furrowed eyebrows, but all that gets you is his hand tangled in your hair, yanking sharply in retaliation. “Careful, slut, or you won’t be coming for the next week-”

“Please, Yoongi-” You don’t let him finish, knowing from experience to always take his threats seriously. “I’m sorry, I’m fucking sorry, okay just please-”

You cut yourself off with a high pitched, tea kettle-like squeak as he uses his hands on you as leverage to have you sink down onto his cock in one fell swoop. “Shit, god, you’re always so fucking tight around me, fuck me.”

I am, is what you wish you were coherent enough to snark back with, but you’re sure no one would blame you if they could feel what you feel right now. And what you’re feeling right now is how well Yoongi feels inside of you, like no cock you’ve ever had. Every ridge and vein on his cock fills you up to the fucking brim, no room left for a pinky or a thought that has to do with anything other than Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi.

And then he starts with those devilish moments of his hip, fucking into you shallowly and slowly to start and it’s all Yoongi’s dick.

“Fucking bounce on it, dove. Fuck yourself on my cock, show me how much you need it,” He speaks through gritted teeth, each word a struggle as he tries not to fuck into you without thought. And it’s with the satisfaction you get knowing he’s just as desperate for you as you are for him that you find the strength to do as he says.

With quivering thighs, you push up and off of his cock, the two of you sharing a harmonious groan at the feeling, foreheads pressed against each other, skin sweaty. And this all just in the calm before the storm.

It’s not long before the both of you are moving frantically, mere seconds, really. It’s intense and all-encompassing, as you grind and roll your hips, cock deeper than you knew to be possible, and his bucking his own hips into you roughly, no doubt as deeply in some sort of euphoria as you are. His hands are everywhere and so are his lips. He sucks marks into your tits and gropes your ass, controlling your movements to the best of his abilities.

All of that, plus your clit grinding against his pelvic bone every other second and your head just might be in another universe.

Yoongi’s words are swirling around in your head, though you’re not properly taking any of it in- his velvety voice goes on about how wet you are, how tight you are, how you’re a good girl and it’s all another instrument in your downfall. You’ve never been much for heights but being with Yoongi feels like something akin to what you assume bungee jumping is like, and you’re just about at that point where your cord runs out of length and your heart drops to the bottom of your stomach.

“Tell me you’re fucking close, baby, c’mon,” This is as close to pleading as you can ever get Yoongi but you’re still swimming in pride. He brings a hand off of your ass to cup your cheek, brushing away your now mussed hair and a single stray tear and you drink in the look in his eyes, dark red-rimmed and needing. “Gonna fill you up with my come, just like I know you like, my perfect little cumslut, fuck, just need you to come first, yeah? All over my fucking cock.”

And with a particularly hard grasp at your ass, bringing you to grind your clit against him again, you’re gone. It’s considerably less intense than the previous one, as many second orgasms are, but your head is still spinning and you think you might have drooled a little, but you don’t mind and you know Yoongi doesn’t. Your attempts to stifle your moans are unsuccessful as the name of the man attached to your favourite cock falls from your lips like a mantra.

And where your orgasm is, Yoongi is rarely far behind- he loves seeing you fall apart around him, because of him and you always clench so fucking hard around him in the peak of your pleasure how could he fucking not. He’s grunting, moaning, damn near growling as he spurts his own release as deep into you as he possibly can, coating every inch of your delectable pussy, vague mumbles of how he’s filling you up, just like you’re meant to be that you can just barely hear.

Shakey breaths hit each of your faces as you come down, now still and worn out. Your chests move up and down and you don’t know when you’ve buried your face into the crook of his neck, but the warmth and smell are more comforting than any hit you’ve ever taken off of one of his blunts.

“Shit, buttercup,” He chuckles, the vibrations rumbling through his chest and where you’ve tucked yourself He runs a hand through his sweaty black locks, the other hand locked around your waist. “I don’t know how we’re gonna move without making this couch fucking disgusting.” Mood killer.

“Don’t give a shit.”

“Yeah, but I do. Especially if Joon or Hobi someone finds it and makes a big fucking deal out of it, like no other guy in his twenties has some come stained furniture.”

You pull back from the spot you wish he’d just let you fall asleep in so he can see your pout. He can’t find the sight of you… adorable? Your hair matted, bruises, courtesy of yours truly littering your tits and chest, a thin sheen of sweat making your skin glow and bottom lip jutted out exactly enough to be overexaggerated and so fucking adorable.

At that moment he’s glad that about three weeks ago the two of you had started to break the unspoken no sleeping over after sex rule because he just wants to clean you up and feel you curl yourself around him like you like to.

You don’t know what time it is, just that it’s late and that it doesn't matter, because this was certainly time well spent. You wonder how much sleep you’ve given up in lieu of Yoongi’s pretty dick. Of course, it does matter... because you have a 9 am class tomorrow morning that you can’t miss, but that’s for future you to worry about. For now, it’s time to try to get up without defiling this Ikea couch (you failed miserably and giggled about it while Yoongi groaned in mock pain), burn out just one more joint, steal some clothes for bed and some snacks from his fridge, and pass the fuck out on his bed, which you think is way better than yours, but that has nothing to do with the boy in it or his comforting warmth and smell.

..............................................................................

Past you is a dumb bitch. Also maybe current you. Point being, you hate you, because you’re sore and stiff and ten minutes late to your dumb 9 am class and it’s all Yoongi’s fucking fault. You texted him this much, calling him a ‘little bitch boy’ for not even waking you up to make you a cup of coffee with his fancy instant coffee machine before you left. He hasn’t responded yet because holy fuck does that guy sleep like a rock. A really cute, cuddly, sex-god rock.

But, as usual, Jimin came in clutch, handing you off a coffee as your paths crossed on campus, each of you heading to your respective classes. He gave you a one-armed-too-tight hug and a comment on how you have that very glamourous ‘I got fucked by Min Fucking Yoongi last night and you didn’t so I’m better than you look.’ You tried to take it as a compliment as you thanked him for the coffee. He gave you a cute kiss to your forehead that reminded you you could never even be annoyed at him for too long.

And now you’re in class. Headache from not getting enough sleep getting worse by the second while you tried not to think about what judgements people must be passing on you, with your sunglasses inside and hickeys you didn’t have time to cover up.

When your phone pings you assume it’s Jimin, with something slutty or sarcastic or both. But it’s not. It’s Yoongi- well, it’s what you have Yoongi’s number saved under, aka the drooling emoji three times over… You’re surprised he’s awake, you’re pretty sure he doesn’t have shit to do until the afternoon.

You have a fleeting thought that it could be a dick pic- yeah it’s a little early for that kind of dumb fuckboy behaviour, and you’d previously thought that too, but Kim Taehyung proved you wrong last year.

Yoongi isn’t a dick pic kind of guy anyway. No, he’s the guy that sends pictures of his hand around your throat that one night you let him take artsy photos of you two fucking on his film camera. The kind of guy that sends you audios of him jerking off and moaning your name that you listen to through your earphones in between classes because he knew you wouldn’t be able to help yourself. He’s the guy that drives you crazy because you can never quite predict what he’s gonna do next.

[9:23 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: you could have woken me you know dummy

[9:24 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: subways are gross in the morning

[9:25 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: i could have u know, driven u…

[9:26 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: cant really say no to u buttercup.

You don’t know why you’re heart’s beating so fast so you reprimand yourself for thinking with your pussy. Min motherfucking Yoongi is gonna be the death of you.

#bts smut #btswritingcafe #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #bts x reader #buttercup #bts fic #yoongi fic #bts fanfiction #bts oneshot #bts writing #def not my best work but u know JKFDHKJFHS

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cheeriecherry · 4 years

Text

Life Updated + Slowed Requests

TW: drugs

I’m just gonna cut to the chase. My uncle overdosed today. His landlord and my grandma found him unconscious in his apartment after trying and failing to get ahold of him.

He’s been in and out of jail for many years, mostly for doing stupid shit, so my grandma calls him regularly to check up on him and make sure he’s going to work and doing okay. When she couldn’t get ahold of him, she reached out to his friends and eventually his landlord.

It took the hospital staff hours just to revive him and get him stabilized, and now he’s waiting for a room in the ICU. Currently, he’s in a coma, and likely tonight they’ll be doing an MRI on his brain.

As it is, with so many years of drug use prior to this incident, it’s likely his nervous system is in shambles. He’s an addict, and that’s what hard drugs do to you. The hospital still isn’t sure if he’ll survive the night, but even without the MRI they’re speculating that there’s severe damage in his brain.

Blood tests showed that he had cocaine, methamphetamine, and fentanyl in his system, which is pretty much the worst or the worst in terms of drugs. The hospital thinks he may have had some kind of substance-induced stroke, and as some of you may know, strokes can kill parts of your brain.

My grandma was on the phone with the neurologist all afternoon, giving them a detailed medical history as well as permission to use the dye in my uncle’s brain for the MRI. The dye is attracted to living parts of the brain, so they can easier see what tissue has been damage and if he even has the potential to wake up.

He’ll either pass tonight, or he’ll be living the rest of his life with severe brain damage.

Thankfully, my family is based in Canada, so we have access to free healthcare. Money isn’t an issue. I just don’t know how to stress enough about the dangers of hard drugs.

I understand why people use them. When you have no other way to numb pain, or escape from certain aspects of life. When you’re in the wrong crowd and you fall down the slippery slope of using. And it is a slippery slope. One second it’s fun, the next it’s your entire livelihood at stake; familial relationships, friends, homelessness, addiction withdrawal symptoms. It all ends up adding to the misery that causes a person to start using in the first place.

I’m not against common drugs, like marijuana, home grown tobacco, mushrooms. They’re things that are either impossible or very hard to overdose on, and they’re a lot easier to quit using should you seek the help. Hell, I use weed recreationally for pain and insomnia.

But my point, especially to younger folks who maybe don’t have a lot of knowledge or information on it, is that the overlay into harder drugs is not as opaque as teachers and schools will have you believe.

‘Just say no’ is a good statement, but for the most part, people and peers aren’t gonna pressure you to do drugs. If you say no, most people will be like ‘lol okay’ and fuck right off. It’s when you have to deal with emotional trauma, PTSD, any kind of mental illness, and not knowing how to react or treat it or make it better, not having access to resources and programs that could help.

It starts as ‘maybe this will take the edge off’ and it becomes an addiction. I know this, because I’ve experienced it personally. I won’t go into detail, but for most of my life up until my early twenties, I was miserable and an amalgamation of undiagnosed depression, social anxiety, ADHD, and PTSD. And I used substances to try and get rid of the problems all those things caused.

I’ve since gotten clean, with help from family and doctors, and I don’t feel like I’m in a place where I have to worry about falling off the bandwagon. You can’t make me touch hard drugs with a ten foot pole. So no worries. I have much better coping mechanisms now, and I have people I can turn to in times of stress.

----

Anyways, it’s safe to say I’m going to be a little slow in getting requests out for the next couple weeks. I want to try and be there for my mom and grandma however I can, so most of my energy is going to be directed at them. Please be patient with me, I’ll try to get the requests currently in my inbox written soon.

Thank you guys for understanding! I love you guys lots, and I hope you and your loved ones stay safe.

-Cherry <3

#cherry updates #personal

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soc-characters-as-songs · 3 years

Note

Marina?

ivy: goodbye ("goodbye my friend/maybe we won't meet again/but you'll always be my closest friend/I hope you'll always be happy/some mistakes are hard to learn/and broken hearts are quick to burn/and slow to heal easily")

meredith: the state of dreaming ("all I really want is to be wonderful/people in this town they, they can be so cruel/I live my life inside a dream, only waking when I sleep/if I could sell my sorry soul, I would have it all")

diana: can't pin me down ("now I got your back up/what do you not like/do you think I'm stick-up/'cause I'm always picking fights/you might think I'm one thing/but I am another/you can't call my bluff/time to back off, motherfucker")

dahlia: soft to be strong ("I believe the world is beautiful/only the weak ones are cruel/I choose to love you without fear/no shame in being sincere/and I guess I've known it all along/the truth us you have to be soft to be strong")

alassie: seventeen ("oh, you are embarrassed of me/because I use my tongue freely/bet you wish I couldn't speak/cause when I do you know/I tell you why you're being weak/you want a hassle free life/go get your upper class wife/oh she's got all the personality/of a lemon that has been/truly sucked dry")

ramona: are you satisfied? ("high achiever don't you see?/baby nothing comes for free/they say I'm a control freak/driven by a greed to succeed/nobody can stop me/'cause it's my problem if I want to pack up and run away/it's my business if I feel the need to smoke and drink and sway")

rhea: gold ("you've got it in the palm of your hands/it's slipping through your fingers like sand/'cause they don't understand who you are/doesn't matter as long as I am your star/yeah I know that I need the gold/but what I love can't be bought or sold")

cornelia: true ("everybody tells us what to do/think they always know what's good for you/we know they don't really have a clue/people like to tell you what to think/sometimes it feels right to do wrong/let it go and listen to your own instincts/'cause you don't need nobody else/when you are true, true to yourself")

kaden: emotional machine ("it's no excuse/to treat me like you do/my perception is skewed/cause I know what you went through/cut from devotion, lost in an ocean/out of emotion for you/I'm a machine/unemotional being/ever since I was a teen/cut my feelings off clean")

andreia: numb ("I can't breathe, and I can't smile/this better be worth my while/I feel numb most of the time/the more I get the higher/Ill climb and I will wonder why/I got dark only/to shine/looking for the golden light/oh its a reasonable sacrifice")

arely: solitaire ("hard like a rock, cold like stone/white like a diamond black like coal/cut like a jewel, yeah I repair myself/when you're not there/solitaire/something you consider rare/I don't wanna be compared/with that cheap shimmer and glitter")

suzy: forget ("sick of my small heart, made of steel/sick of the wounds that never heal/'cause I have lived my life in debt/I've spent my days in deep regret/yeah, I been living in the red/oh, 'cause I can't forgive and I can't forget, forget")

samuel: fear and loathing ("now I see, I see it for the first time/there is no crime in being kind/not everyone is out to screw you over/maybe, yeah just maybe, they want to get to know you/and now the time is here/you don't have to live your life in fear")

bianca: oh no! ("one track mind, one track heart/if I fail, I'll fall apart/maybe it is all a test/cause I feel like im the worst/so I always act like im the best")

archibald: orange trees ("spent so long, was busy chasing happiness/when all I needed was a little peace/try to get back to what we need/living like we're supposed to be")

raphael: mowgli's road ("do you think you will be good enough?/to love others and to be loved?/oh lord/now I can see/the cutlery will keep on chasing me/there's a fork in the road/I do as I am told/and I don't know/who I want to be")

#songs #the selected #host characters

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aggressive-positivity-network · 3 years

Note

I hate that my mother is always disappointed in me. She refuses to help me with my mental health, bc she believes teens can’t be mentally ill even tho I’ve tried to kys 4 times already🙄, which effects my school life bc I can’t focus. And then she gets mad at me when I fail a “simple” math test bc my head can’t comprehend numbers and brute forcing my brain never works!

Anybody can be mentally ill, or have problems with their moods, motivation, romance, relationships, and love...it doesn’t just appear when you become an adult! There were usually a bunch of steps taken in childhood that, if ignored, can cause a huge breakdown in teenage and adult years. That’s why some parents are so surprised and blindsided when their child’s misery finally bubbles to the service - it’s not that the signs weren’t there, it’s just that they didn’t take them seriously back then.

When you reach adulthood, all the support that kept you together, which can come in the form of understanding and unconditional love or rigid schedule, a demand to be normal, and pure fear, goes away, or at least lessens. That means you either grasp for that support you once had, or, in your case, finally feel allowed to let all your emotion show without immediate backlash. You fail your college classes? They can’t do much other than calling. You don’t get out of bed? No one wakes you up. You miss your shift? No one is there to reprimand you.

That’s why it’s so dangerous to shove a broken, miserable person into adulthood without at least some support and mental tools to help them along. They’ll literally fall apart.

That’s why I urge you to talk, learn, forgive, vent, and grow as much as you can. That way, when you finally leave that dumpster fire, you’ll be able to feel the freedom without the loneliness and hopelessness falling on you like a piano.

But, for right now, relax. Have some jellybeans. Laugh at outdated media and how cringey it is - my go-to is 60’s Batman. Venting, whether through test or verbal ranting, can be tiring. The worst thing you can do is try to solve your problem while you’re tired and maybe a little weepy.

I don’t know if complaining about my grandmother is therapeutic or not, but it may make you feel better if I share my own experiences so that you feel like we’re having a back and forth conversation:

Whenever we have anything new for dinner or lunch, Grandmother is the first one to notice. We’ve remodeled our kitchen recently, but we used to have an island right in the middle of our kitchen that had a stovetop and an oven. She would walk in, probably called to dinner because she never shows up on time, and she’ll crane her neck, wrinkle her nose, and leave her mouth slightly ajar. If she was feeling especially brave, she’d ask, “What is it?” And if she was brimming with bravery, she’d refuse whatever meal she was being served and drink a protein drink instead. Sometimes, she froze it ahead of time, so we have to eat dinner while she scrapes Glucerna out of a bottle with a knife. One time, we were having Mom’s birthday at my sister’s apartment. Grandmother couldn’t come due to the travel and the pandemic. My mom was describing what we were having - a chicken dish with yumyum sauce and vegetables - and Grandmother wrinkled her nose and replied, “Ugh, I’m glad I’m not going, then.” About a meal. For my mom’s birthday. That even I liked, and I’m kind of a picky eater. Luckily, we were also glad she didn’t come.

#send asks #send anons #lovely anons #tw family #tw suicide #tw depression #fill my ask box #fill my inbox

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altumvidetur · 4 years

Text

Kaishin Fic Recs

Previously: Haikyuu!! Fic Recs

So, I was thinking about the coronavirus pandemic and what I could do to help people out. I’m isolated because I’m at higher risk, so I can’t really offer to go out for my elderly neighbors or my family… but I thought I could try to help keep people entertained.

Because I don’t have an AO3 account right now, I’ve been compiling fic recs for my own amusement for a year or so. And I thought – maybe that’s the time to share these with everyone? So everyone will have plenty of things to read while they have to stay at home, or even to escape anxiety a little bit if you’re forced to go out.

Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.

I’ve decided to split it in a series of posts, and, well, when it comes to DCMK, I have one major OTP. So here’s enough Kaishin to keep you entertained for a year:

The Dwelling Night, by proser132

Three shot. KaiShin. Brief moments were all they had, but dwelling on dreams is sometimes enough.

In Theory, by orphan_account

Kaito's got a whole list of cheesy and awful pickup lines to use on Shinichi.

(Un)fortunately for him, Shinichi's got just as many to throw back.

As You Wish, by orphan_account

Shinichi hasn't been doing a very good job of pretending he isn't hiding something from Kaito, and Kaito is more than determined to find out what it is -- even if it means asking everyone the detective knows in order to do so.

He just wants to know what all the boxes are for.

you’re the reason i come home, by LunaDarkside

Shinichi comes home after a two-week investigation in New York. Kaito could not be more thrilled.

Lovesick, by DragonSorceress22

"You know what I want? I want a fic where Kaito sends out a heist notice but then he gets sick but he can't NOT go. I guess it could go the other way too, where Conan solves a heist notice but then he gets sick but he can't NOT go. I want to read that fic." "There's tons of fics like that..." And now there's one more.

whispers and nicks and all these tricks, by LunaDarkside

In which there is sex pollen at a heist, and Kaito and Shinichi end up in the same room. Coincidentally enough.

Be Real, by DragonSorceress22

This, KID thought, was what someone reaching their limit looked like.

a study in scarlette, by kittebasu

There are people who want to live forever, and then there is Shinichi, who just wants to live a little longer than this.

wait a minute (so you’re not just losing the dress), by LunaDarkside

Everything is overwhelmingly good. And then Kaito has to go and say it.

“I’ve never done this before,” he mumbles mindlessly against the pliant softness of Shinichi’s lips, and everything immediately stops.

“Wait, what?” Shinichi jerks upwards, eyes wide.

Or, neither Shinichi nor Kaito has any experience, but they make do.

The printer’s a lie, by OrphanText

In which Kuroba has an annoying printer, a very good looking (and mildly terrifying) RA, and general bad ideas up his sleeves (but it works out in the end).

The Alcohol Test, by DragonSorceress22

When your rival-turned-best-friend is a phantom thief who has recently reached legal drinking age, there’s really only one responsible way to approach the matter. Spreadsheets.

Getting Off Track, by solomonara

The easiest way to find out what someone wants is to ask them, so of course neither Shinichi nor Kaito KID is going to do that. (OR: In which Shinichi and Kaito KID take turns falling into each other's arms.)

Wouldn’t Change A Thing, by BlackKatJinx

“Don't you get tired of it?”

“'It'?” He asks.

“Stealing.”

By Any Other Name, by AngelicSentinel

the one where you don’t know your soulmate until you hear them say your name.

Snowed In, by DragonSorceress22

Shinichi and Kaito are exceptionally bad at quiet nights at home.

Go Out With a Bang (Since We’re to Wilt Anyway), by KXL

Love can be cruel, and painful, but Kaito knew that already. Maybe he's just a masochist.

take in another breath (get closer), by Melomaniac

He paused on the threshold of the door between the pseudo-corridor and the seating area, and faintly corrected himself. Not as alone as he thought. Not as alone at all.

Sat by himself, with his chin resting on his hand, an arm loosely propped on the small table, an explosion of paper and assorted important looking documents in front of him, flask of (presumably) coffee held to his lips, was Kudou Shinichi, whose eyes had met Kaito’s when he walked into the carriage, had widened, and hadn’t looked away since.

In which there is a late night (or an early morning), a train, copious amounts of flirting, a phone, a name, and a stolen heart.

Last Day Again, by Phantoms_Echo

(Summary by me: Groundhog Day!AU with Kaito becoming more and more unhinged as he desperately tries to break the time loop he’s stuck in.)

Net Force, by LunaDarkside

Ran decides it's high time for Shinichi and Kaito to get together. Awkward matchmaking ensues.

Of Corset Hurts, by KXL

Shinichi and Kaito are both pretty much done with the situation, though for somewhat different reasons. Both reasons involve overly long dresses to some degree.

Ace up Their Sleeves, by Procrastination_Sensation

Summary by me: Soulmates!AU in which seeing your soulmark in someone else (your soulmate) causes debilitating pain until the two of you kiss.

Murder by Cremation, by KXL

Capturing the lawless monsters who ate people after burning them up was, apparently, the easy part.

Halloween Heist, by Phantoms_Echo

Because Halloween Scavenger Hunt doesn't sound as nice.

Trick or Treat, Tantei-kun! Up for a little Halloween game? I’ve left clues all over town. Find them all, you’ll get a treat. Fail to find them in time, you’ll get a trick. Good luck, Tantei-kun. -Kaitou KID

the suffering of fools, by AngelicSentinel

It's Las Vegas; the lights are bright, the liquor is flowing, and Ran married someone other than Shinichi. He just wants to drown his sorrows, but a half-familiar face steals his drink.

♠ ♦ ♣ ♥ Case Files, by AngelicSentinel

Solving life's little mysteries, one at a time.

one-shots in the suffering of fools universe

A Study in Trust, by Calculatrice

Conan swallows anger and condemnation and, for the very first time, gives Kaitou KID the benefit of the doubt. ________________

In which Conan constantly has to revise what he thinks of a certain thief, and is frankly getting pretty sick of feeling like his subconscious is already ahead of him.

Jacket, by Calculatrice

He turns to look at KID, grimacing as his overlong sleeves swish around him.

“It doesn’t exactly fit me,” he frowns as he points out the obvious. “Does this do anything for you?”

Kiss and tell., by DragonSorceress22

Shinichi might have gotten a little ahead of himself. And KID. Luckily, Hakuba has a level head and a soft spot for lovesick genius-idiots.

the goat one-shot, by helloimtrash

They're family now.

Interrogation, by Calculatrice

Admittedly, there are many things Kaito could probably be blamed for, but pulling Shinichi into the nearest empty hallway to kiss him senseless isn’t one of them.

So It Goes, by Calculatrice

It goes like this.

(In which Murphy’s Law isn’t much of a law - more something to be gleefully stomped on.)

Mii Plaza, by Calculatrice and helloimtrash

“Okay,” Kaito grins as the opening notes of Wii Sports ring out. “Are you ready for defeat?”

“Can’t we just play Mario Kart,” Shinichi frowns, crossing his legs as he watches Kaito push the coffee table out of the way. “It’s like, one in the morning.”

The Forensics of Falling, by LunaDarkside

[FF.Net Link] When fans of world-famous magician and actor Kuroba Kaito begin turning up dead, Inspector Kudou Shinichi is put on the case.

the toxicology of trust, by LunaDarkside

World-famous magician and actor Kuroba Kaito and the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Force's star inspector Kudou Shinichi finally get some much-needed time off. Or they would, if there wasn't a killer on their cruise.

(sequel to The Forensics of Falling)

On Familiarity, by lastdream

No one had ever known Kaito quite like Shinichi did, and Kaito wasn't sure he could take it.

Lies and the Art of Relaxation, by DragonSorceress22

Shinichi is stressed and Kaito is a liar. Business as usual.

And Again, by Calculatrice

It’s late, late in the night, and while on another night they may have been awake and neck-deep in plans, or perhaps delirious and making silly conversation, tonight he and Kaito are both curled in bed.

the only bed worth sleeping, by LunaDarkside

Kaito's not a detective, but he's pretty sure there's no logical explanation for Shinichi's disappearance from his apartment. Or for the cat that's shown up in his kitchen.

Magic Eight Ball, by Rikkamaru

Shinichi chases Kaitou Kid into the Blue Parrot thinking he's injured.

(For the Kaishin Discord, which made a "challenge" that a few people took up.)

swing for the fences, by LunaDarkside

"How to Fall in Love with Kudou Shinichi (Featuring Pink Panties, Dead Bodies, and Ill-Advised Bets): A Comprehensive and Kind of Embarrassing Guide" by Kuroba Kaito.

In The Soul, by Calculatrice

Shinichi ferries souls from the shores of the living to those of the dead, so they may pass safely on to an eternal afterlife. It’s really not a difficult concept, and definitely not one he thought could be wilfully ignored, but Kuroba Kaito obviously didn’t get the memo.

even miracles, by LunaDarkside

“No, Mother,” Shinichi says pleasantly. “I don’t think it would be a good idea to host a dinner party to find me a wife.”

bros before, by LunaDarkside

Shinichi needs a fake date for his parents' vow renewal ceremony. Naturally, he asks his best friend, Hattori.

maybe I was going too fast, by Ann1215

A year after Kaito faces off Conan, who'd figured out his identity, he comes across Kudou Shinichi during their first year of university.

Trouble is, Kudou has no idea who Kaito is.

swear i’ll never leave again, by Ann1215

When Kaito eventually grows tired of his mother's relentless matchmaking tendencies, he ropes Shinichi into tricking everyone they know and love that they're both engaged. To each other. And it's easy enough, because all they have to do is:

1. Don't lie to each other. 2. Don't tell anyone about their plan. 3. Don't fall in love with each other.

At least, it was supposed to be easy.

(See you) Next Illusion!, by PhantomsEcho

Collections of Oneshots too long to fit in Next Conan Hint.

beneath a waxing moon, by kittebasu

The man stares at him, and then shakes his head, messy hair shaking with it. “Car trouble, Detective?” The way his lips curl around the word ‘detective’ strikes Shinichi as strange, eerily familiar, and Shinichi almost has to physically shake the feeling away before he can reply.

“Engine’s making a weird noise,” Shinichi says, and then his thoughts catch up with alacrity, his muscles tensing all at once. “What makes you think I’m a detective?”

“Police tags on your car,” the man replies, grin growing wider. “Plus this is a Camry from the nineties. No one drives those but police, these days, and regular officers drive patrol cars.” He leans forward a little, gloved hands circling his helmet and lowering it slightly to his handlebars for extra balance. “Far from undercover, if you know what you’re looking for.”

The cloud cover shifts, revealing the gorgeous full moon, and the light catches the man just right, surrounding him in a pearly glow and putting his face in shadow. “And you know what you’re looking for?”

broken glass, by jadedgalaxies

KID presses Shinichi into the wall, covering his mouth with a gloved hand and shushing him quietly. Shinichi’s heart thrums. KID isn’t looking at him but every part of KID that is pressed against Shinichi is electrified. Even amidst the circumstances that led to this moment, KID’s heartbeat is steady under Shinichi’s trembling fingers. His hair tickles Shinichi’s nose, his scent sweet and overpowering. KID is warm, alive, thrilling. Shinichi’s face warms.

In this moment, beneath the pale moonlight, helping KID evade arrest, detective Kudou Shinichi realizes he’s in love with the Phantom Thief, Kaitou KID. And he probably has been for a long time.

Shinichi realizes he's in love with Kaitou KID and that's just the beginning.

Owned and Never More Free, by Curry Jolokia

Kaitou Kid is uncatchable. Except for this.

about a love that glows, by LunaDarkside

The good news is that it’s not an overt time limit on his life, and it’s not anything parasitic. It’s not a life-force drainer, or a bad luck charm, or a magnet for unfortunate circumstances. It’s not going to bother him in day-to-day life.

The bad news is that if Shinichi falls in love with someone, he’ll die. And they’ll die.

(There is no good news, really.)

the empty vault of night, by AngelicSentinel

Shinichi offers Kid a gift. For a price.

Sound of Silence, by Cesela

His return to being Kudou Shinichi was not everything he had hoped for, not with Ran moving on, a limp and a shattered soul as he struggles with the return to normalcy. And then there’s the neighbour with a soft smile slowly battering down his walls. Kaishin / Shinkai

A Case Closed Carol, by solomonara

With apologies to Charles Dickens. Shinichi is working way too hard and has zero time for Christmas or anything else, really. But a rather unlikely source is about to put him back on track...

where villains spend the weekend, by aishiteita

A former teen sleuth enlists a should-be-retired-thief's help to slap ennui in the face.

(Alternatively, a study in motives.)

always ends in a hazy shower scene, by LunaDarkside

Shinichi didn’t mean to shack up with an internationally wanted thief.

#fic recs #detective conan #magic kaito #dcmk #kaishin #kuroba kaito #kudou shinichi #please warn me if any links are broken #and reblog it if you can so more people will see it

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daminwayne · 4 years

Link

Hello it is me I am back with an angst one shot. Above is the ao3 link but I will also post the fic below the line.

Summary: Dick is diagnosed with cancer, and Damian has a hard time understanding the situation.

It was easier to assess your enemy when they stood before you, present in their physical form. You could gauge how big of a threat they were, study their strengths and weaknesses and finally, visualize your attack. When you can see your enemy, you can formulate a solid plan and follow through with it. Whether it succeeds or fails is dependent on how you carry out your attack; do you misplace your footing? Had you under or overestimated the threat? Either way, the damage would be external. Your enemy stood before you, visible, ready for the quarrel.

Damian had trained his entire life to take down his enemies.

He was agile, swift and light on his feet. He was strong and calculating, and though he was a child–– only ten years of age––he could defeat enemies twice his size if he acted accordingly.

This enemy, however?

This enemy was different.

Damian could not fight it, even if he tried. It was entirely out of his control.

He wanted nothing more than to take it out, to beat it, to end it, but––

How could he, when it was impossible?

Damian Wayne was a smart child. He had learnt far more than the majority of his children had had the opportunity of learning, whether it was with regards to battle or math or vocabulary.

But ultimately he was just that: a child. He could only learn so much of the world in those ten years.

So he stood by his father’s side, glancing around between him and the doctor who stood across from them. His words made no sense. He was talking about whatever he had found as though it were a common enemy, a dangerous thug he had found in the street. Honestly? Damian could barely understand what he was saying.

“I don’t understand,” he whispered, leaning into his father.

Bruce raised his eyebrows in surprise at the gesture, seeing as he and Damian hardly shared any physical touch, but then his expression fell into something akin to pity. He looked to the doctor then back to Damian, taking a sharp breath before he answered.

“He’s going to beat it, Damian.”

“Beat what?” Damian pressed, furrowing his eyebrows together. How could you beat something you could not see? Something that wasn’t living or fighting? Their words confused him.

“Mr. Wayne,” the doctor called out, giving him a sad smile.

Bruce nodded at him, and the doctor knelt down next to Damian. “Do you understand what cancer is, Damian?”

Damian shook his head.

He had heard of it––a disease of sorts––but had never received extensive learning regarding the subject. It was not one of his mother’s priorities, nor his father’s.

“It’s a disease where some of the cells in a person’s body decide to rebel a bit and go rogue,” the doctor said slowly. “They kinda do their own thing, instead of cooperating with the rest of the body, like they should. When that happens, they can disrupt a lot of things. They can affect body temperatures, organ function, energy levels… it basically throws the entire body off balance.”

“Like a bad team player?” Damian asked, trying to make sense of his words. “If someone goes out of position, he risks everyone else’s life because he ruined the plan.”

Bruce gave him an odd look, but Damian ignored it.

The doctor continued. “Exactly like that. They disrupt the plan, and when the others need them to have their back, they’re gone. Everything falls apart. That’s not to say it can’t be fixed, though. If you help them get back in time, everything can get back on track. They suffer a bit before everything is good and dandy again. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Damian nodded.

“That’s what your brother Richard is going through right now. He’s gonna have to put up a fight, you know? He’s really gonna have to fight this guy. But he’s a strong young man, and he can definitely beat it. It won’t be easy, so he’ll definitely need your backup, yeah?”

“Richard is a very skilled man,” Damian said, lifting his chin in defiance. “He is very physically fit and used to be an acrobat. He worked with the police. He can beat anyone up.”

The doctor watched him for a moment, puzzled, before shaking his head. “This is gonna be different. He’s gonna change a bit, alright? This disease… it will affect his physical fitness. He won’t be as strong as before, not for a while.”

“I don’t understand,” Damian said again, feeling stupid. He could hear the words, he knew what they were saying to him but… He could simply not comprehend it. How could something just take down his brother like that? Illnesses were cured with medication. If you have a fever, you bring it down. If you get shot, you take the bullet out. They faced injuries every day in their line of work as vigilantes. But this was not an injury. Nothing had caused it.

“Why can’t you just medicate it?” He asked. “Like give him Tylenol or antibiotics. He wasn’t injured. Why does he have to stay at the hospital?”

“Damian,” Bruce said, his voice clipped. “That’s enough. So, Dr. Loving, what’s next? When can we take him home?”

Dr. Loving stood back up, clearing his throat. “We’re going to have run some more tests on him, Mr. Wayne, and then… I would like to get him started on the chemotherapy as soon as possible. Tomorrow, if I can. And I would like to keep him here for the first session to monitor his reaction.”

Bruce nodded. “Alright. Of course, whatever you think would be the best course of action. Can I––can we see him? It just… this all happened very suddenly. One moment I was speaking with him about work and the next he had crashed and… the last thing I expected to hear when I brought him here is that he…” his voice cracked. “Is this diagnosis.”

Dr. Loving lowered his gaze to the ground. “I know, and I’m very to sorry to have delivered these news to you. I’m happy you’ve brought him in, although I do wish he could have come in sooner for a checkup of the sort. You said he had not been exhibiting any odd symptoms before today?”

“He was feeling very faint,” Damian supplied. “I noticed when we went out on––when he took me out to ice cream and such a few times. He had reassured me that it was nothing, though. He took some ibuprofen as well because he was feverish for a short while. It was nothing severe. I don’t understand why you are making it sound as though Richard is dying.”

Bruce closed his eyes, clenching his jaw. “Dick will be fine, Damian.”

“I’m sure he will,” added the doctor. “You can see him before I send him down for a few more tests, if you would like. I will book a room for him in the inpatient unit, and see what I can do to kickstart his therapy.”

“Thank you, doctor. Please keep me updated.”

“I will.”

With that, Dr. Loving excused himself.

“Let’s go see Dick,” Bruce said, making his way down the long hospital hallway. Damian tagged along closely. “And Damian––this is not the time to play the public persona, alright? Just… Just keep to yourself, for now. Try not to say anything harsh in front of Dick.”

“Public persona? What do you mean, Father?”

“I know you’re a smart child,” Bruce began, keeping his eyes focused on the path before him, “and you understand what’s going on. The doctor knows what he’s doing, alright? You don’t have to take jabs at him and question his decisions. He will make sure Dick will be fine.”

Damian simply looked at his father in confusion, unsure of what he was referring to. When had Damian undermined the doctor’s decisions? He had simply been asking the questions on his mind. He was confused because he did not, in fact, understand the situation. Why was Father speaking to him in this way?

“I’m not,” he said in a small voice. “I was just asking him a few questions.”

Bruce only nodded briefly.

In that moment, Damian felt incredibly small and lost.

He was Damian Wayne, son of batman and grandson of Ra’s Al-Ghul. He was smart, determined, educated, hotheaded. He was––

He was scared, because he did not understand how Grayson could have gone from joking with him the one minute to collapsing on the floor the minute after. How he would not wake up and––and how his body shivered and trembled as he profusely sweat and––and how his temperature spiked and would not come down––

He did not understand how he was now bedridden, confined to stay in the hospital to ‘beat’ a disease and start a course of ‘therapy’ and––

No, Damian Wayne was many things, but he was not educated about this topic. About this situation. He did not know how to react.

He could do one thing, however, that he did best: act strong, no matter how he truly felt on the inside.

When they approached Dick in his hospital bed, Damian immediately noted that he was looking much better than before. His eyes were sunken, his hair was damp and pressed down to his forehead because of the sweat, but he was awake and stable. That’s what mattered.

“Grayson,” Damian greeted, rushing to his side. Bruce trailed in behind him. “You’re awake.”

Dick gave Damian a weak smile. “Hey, little D. Yeah, I’m awake. God, I don’t even know what happened there.” He looked up at Bruce, and his smile fell, replaced by a defeated expression. “The doctor told me everything.”

Bruce took a seat by his side, placing a hand over Dick’s. “You’ll be alright. I promise.”

“It’s gonna suck,” Dick said, shaking his head. “It’s really gonna suck, Bruce.”

“You’re ill,” Damian said, climbing over onto the small hospital bed. He snuck in close to Grayson. “But you’re not injured. So you don’t require any emergency surgeries, and none of your vital organs are injured. The doctors can medicate you. Advil can bring down your fevers, and I’m not sure what can stop the trembling. Maybe you need to be hydrated so you don’t pass out again.”

“Damian,” Bruce muttered, exhaustion lining his words. “That’s enough.”

Dick furrowed his eyebrows, looking between Damian and Bruce.

Damian looked at his father. “I’m just saying he will get better. He has no life threatening injuries, and he was not injected with any poison or drugs, so he will simply need some medication and then he can get back out of the hospital.”

“That’s not how the world works, Damian,” Bruce snapped, losing his cool. He gulped slowly, trying to regain his composure, and exhaled slowly. “I know you were taught that you just have to snap out of any illness and sickness, that you must bear through whatever injuries you acquire, but that’s not how the world works. There are serious illnesses that aren’t related to our––our work. Do you understand that? And just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not serious or that you can expect him to just snap out of it like that.”

Damian stared at Bruce dumbly, unsure of how to respond.

Dick’s eyes softened in understanding.

“Hey, Dami,” he whispered, barely able to muster strength into his voice. “I’ll be fine. Maybe you can’t see this bad guy and fight him by hand, but there’s other ways we can fight him. My own body is fighting itself, that’s why I became so weak. I’m gonna need more than a few meds, little D. It’s gonna be a few months at least of treatment.”

“A few months?”

“Yeah. Chemotherapy basically attacks those cells that are going out of line. But to kill them, it’s gonna have to kill other healthy cells too. So I’m gonna feel a lot worse before I feel better.”

Damian’s eyes widened. “Why can’t they perform surgery or––or directly medicate it?”

“Because it’s in my blood cells, Dami, and it circulates through my whole body. It’s not in one place.”

“So it’s like a poison? Is there an antidote?”

“Damian,” Bruce snapped again. “Enough with the questions. Let Dick rest.”

“It’s okay, Bruce,” Dick said, reaching out to his brother with his other hand. “He doesn’t understand what’s going on. He can ask questions.”

Bruce’s expression fell, perhaps in a sudden realization that Damian was, in fact, asking genuine questions about the situation. That he was not playing stupid, but that he was just a child who could not comprehend why his older brother had collapsed without visible injury or an easy explanation.

He felt stupid.

His youngest child was lost––lost and scared––and… and he’d been snapping at him. He’d assumed the worst of him.

In all fairness, Damian wasn’t usually such a… child. He was usually a smartass who liked to show off how skilled and knowledgeable he was. He hardly acted like the child he was. In this moment, however, Bruce was reminded that his youngest had seen so little of the world. So, so little.

And now his oldest would be fighting cancer.

Bruce fought to keep it together. He could not collapse crying in front of his boys.

Alfred was back at the manor, and last Bruce had checked, Tim had joined him in the cave to work on some files while they waited for their return from the hospital. Bruce would have to break the news to them.

He was dreading that.

“It’s not like a poison,” Dick was saying to Damian. “This is a chronic thing. It’s strong, and it’s gonna need a strong therapy to combat it. But guess what? I’m also strong. I can handle both of them going at it inside my body.”

“Like a battle between your cells?”

“Yeah, exactly. I can’t really partake in it, you know, but… I can handle it. I’ll do my best to fight it.”

“Of course you will. You’re Grayson,” Damian said, his voice softer than Bruce had ever heard. “You’re my batman. You can’t lose to anything.”

Bruce could see the tears glistening in Dick’s eyes upon hearing that statement.

“Will I have to be nicer to Drake because you’re ill?” Damian continued.

Dick began to laugh out of surprise. “What?”

“You know, to keep you happy and stress free.”

“Well… Yes. Yeah, of course.”

“I will do that, then. I promise. I will also let you cuddle with Titus and Alfred the cat to boost your mood. And I will prepare for you a smoothie every morning to provide you with the proper nutrients. Although, I may need Alfred’s help. And maybe we can watch more movies after I return from school! And…”

Bruce closed his eyes as Damian’s voice faded into the background.

The upcoming months would be difficult, but they would support Dick through it.

He would not lose another son––not to anything.

#ms #my writing #fic #my fic #angst #batfam #batfic #damian wayne #batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #audreycritter #autumnhobbit

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monst · 5 years

Note

Request: Toga x Fem!Reader; Fem!reader as a med school student/doctor and Toga running on a treadmill while connected to a heart monitor as part of a stress test, the stress proving too much for Toga's heart, resulting in a massive heart attack/cardiac arrest and fem!reader must revive her. Feel free to tweak this to your liking.

Flatline

Toga Himiko x Med. Student Reader

Warnings: Intense, Shitty medical Knowledge (Sorry majoring in business)

This dead took me a while and, I’m not even gonna front I got so emotional writing this. Well I hope you like it babe.

‘ogta Hokimi’

You couldn’t help but snort at the anagram of the name written on the document. You shook your head as you walked into the room where ‘Ogta’ was waiting.

“Is Miss Hokimi ready to go?” You asked the doctor.

Dr. Fushimi was leaning onto the counter as she scribbled illegible words on her clipboard. The patient sat atop the hospital cot her dangling legs swinging. You took the time to send her a smile prompting the doctor to ask another standard question.

“Miss Hokimi this is (Name) she is a medical student interning here and, we’d like to ask if it’s okay with you if she assists in the stress test today?” The medic asked.

“Sure!” She chirped her golden eyes curving into a smile. “There’s not problem with (Name)-chan being there.”

Dr. Fushimi laughed at her enthusiasm and motioned for both of you to follow. In front of your superior you kept a straight face but, internally you were rolling your eyes so hard they rammed into your brain. You had told her to act like you didn’t know each other. You maintained an air of professionalism as you felt ‘Ogta’ grip onto the sleeve of your medical scrub. You didn’t make a move to shrug her off but, you did look over at her.

‘What?’ You mouthed.

‘You look so cool in your medical clothes!’ She ‘replied’.

‘Whatever…’ You ‘said’ your face growing warm.

“And, here we are.” The doctor announced as she opened the door for you both. With your silent conversation cut off you walked over to Joe the technician that would be placing the electrodes on ‘Ogta’. The graying haired man gifted you a grin before introducing himself to the patient. You decided to take a seat as Joe attached the sticky pads to the blonde girl’s chest, arms and, legs.

“Okay sweetheart we’re just gonna connect you to this here do-hicky, this is what’s going to record the electrical signals that trigger your heartbeat.” He informed. “Oh and, this cuff is just going to check your blood pressure.”

“Are we using the tub for this test?” You asked from your place.

“No, not for this one.” Dr. Fushimi replied her eyes scanning over ‘Otga’s’ Information. “Right so as I mentioned I’m going to need you to run on the treadmill for-

You tuned out the practitioner and looked at ‘Miss Hokimi’. A frown was on your lips as you noticed her fidgeting. Her smile had long since vanished and, she had a very serious look on her face. For as long as you had known her, she wasn’t the type to be making such a face. Your friend was nervous. You figured that you might be the cause for her worry by making her this appointment but, you couldn’t help it.

You and ‘Miss Hokimi’ known to you as Toga Himiko (and at rare moments Toto-chan) go way back. You’d go as far as to say that you were best friends. The two of you had grown up together and, attended the same schools up until her drop out. In fact, you had kept contact with the infamous villain throughout all these years. Even as she joined the LoV and, PLF. You were one of the things to remain a constant in Himiko’s life just as she was constant in your life.

The crazy blonde chick was the reason you decided to pursue a career in the medical field. It was that eye opener when she injured Tomoki in sixth grade that did it; Your body had acted as if on auto pilot rushing to stop the bleeding and, call the ambulance. You knew that you should have cut ties with her after that but the way that she clung to your school uniform that day made your heart clench. She was just as injured as the boy in your arms you had thought. So, you came to see Himiko as your lifelong patient.

You weren’t a psychologist, but you understood that she needed someone and as a person with a disposition to help others you took on that role. You weren’t stupid you knew that she wasn’t ‘normal’, but you’d be damned if you ever betrayed her. Truth was you were just as dependent on her as she was of you.

You were always told that with a quirk like yours you could have become a hero but, your passion lied in medicine. Himiko was the only one who supported your passions back then you’d be a hypocrite to discriminate her passions no matter how unethical. Maybe you were just as unhinged as she was?

Regardless you knew her nervousness stemmed from her confession last Thursday. You and, Himiko met up every Thursday without fail to hangout. And, in one of these sessions the villain confessed to you her more physical illness. Over tea and, cute pastries in a café she had told you of her most recent encounters with an electric type hero. Mr. Zappy, she called him. You knew him as Ryota Fushimi Hero name Volts. Apparently, they had crossed paths and, the pro-hero gave her the ‘shock’ of her life.

‘My heart goes Doki-Doki suddenly after that?! Literally a week after it happened! I could be sitting in my room and, my heart is beating super-fast or on a mission and, it’s suddenly very slow. (Name)-chan is that a bad thing? Am I going to die!?’ Although she told you that in jest you couldn’t help but worry for her especially since her gold eyes held on to that same emotion despite her smile. You tried not to add onto her worries you really did but, you ended up telling her that you’d set her up an appointment.

Your mind was telling you that it was most likely Arrhythmia. She had confessed to heart palpitations that day alone you had to steady her countless times due to her random bouts of dizziness. To put icing on the cake she had also fainted on the uber ride back to your apartment. You only hoped that you were wrong but, that’s why you submitted her to a stress test. (Under a ridiculous pseudonym she was a wanted villain after all.)

“Alright your all set.” Joe said connecting the last wires to the electrocardiogram machine. He clapped his hands dramatically before bidding everyone in the room adieu effectively snapping you out of your memories.

“No need to be so stiff dear.” Dr. Fushimi chimed as Himiko stepped onto the treadmill.

You felt your heartbeat accelerate. The machine seemed to whirl on in slow motion Himiko’s footsteps sounding loud and, heavy in your head. With every step she took you felt your heart pulse in response. However, your heartrate soon settled when she was two minutes into the test and, nothing seemed amiss. That was until

-BANG-

“Doctor Fushimi! There’s been an accident! We need you immediately!” A nurse had barged into the room suddenly starling you all but, Dr. Fushimi kept her calm and, motioned for Himiko to continue.

“I’m in the middle-

“The Pro-hero Volts is in the E.R in critical condition with multiple rib fractures and, covered in third degree burns! We need your quirk to stabilize him or he’ll die!” She shouted.

Dr. Fushimi felt her body tremble at the news and, quickly looked over to you and, Himiko. “(Name) Please finish the test with Miss Hokimi.” She said before rushing out the room.

“Wha- What *pants* What was that all about?” Himiko panted on the treadmill.

“Y-you shouldn’t be talking. Focus on your test okay?” You said moving closer to observe her blood pressure and, the beeping machine. You couldn’t believe that she had just left you alone but, it couldn’t be helped not with who came in injured.

“S-She ran out really fast I wonder why?” Himiko laughed breathily her cheeks a rosy hue. Truth was Himiko was trying to divert your attention from her. She was beginning to fatigue more than usual. Black spots lined her vision and, she felt her heart flutter she was scared. But she didn’t want you to see her as weak, so she bit her lip and, sent you a grin.

“It’s because- Wait Toga!” You shouted getting a good look at the readings. They were erratic your eyes caught her golden gaze tears in clouding her vision.

“I-is this my karma (Name)-chan?” She huffed out before her eyes rolled back and, her body began to fall.

“TOGA!” You shrieked jumping behind the treadmill as her body was shoved off the rolling belt. Before her body could meet the cold tiles of the floor your arms embraced her.

You quickly put your fingers to her neck trying to find a pulse. You felt liquid dot your vision as you felt nothing.

“Fuck Oh shit Toga hold on! I fucking knew it was Arrythmia.” You let out a breath to calm yourself as you wracked your brain on what to do.

“Cardiac Arrest. CPR!” Just as quick as you thought it you began to administer the procedure. Pressing down on her chest and, letting it rise. “HELP!” You yelled in tune with your first aid.

You could feel yourself starting to shake as a minute had passed. You knew the rate of mortality rose with every minute her heart was stopped. Tears obstructed your vision as you continued the process your throat raw with how much you were screaming for aid.

Two minutes had passed and, there was still no sign of anyone. No hurried footsteps, no voices just the sound of the treadmill still running and, your sobs. You wracked your brain trying to think of something. You couldn’t just let your friend die here not after all the years you’ve been together, not after what you two have gone through and, especially not in your arms. You’d be damned if she Toga Himiko was to be your first deceased patient.

Three minutes with your nerves steeled you closed your eyes your hands never letting up on the CPR. You searched each room mentally. It truly felt like an eternity and, with every second passing Himiko’s chances of life diminished.

“Found it!” You wailed. Using your quirk like never before you mentally tore the defibrillator from the wall five rooms down. The case came crashing through the walls at incredible speeds only stopping once it hit your thigh. You hissed at the pain and, tore open the box to pull out the device. Pulling out the pads you removed the ones on her chest and, place down the defibrillator’s electrodes onto her. You turned on the device quickly and, continued your CPR over the voice instructions.

With bated breath you waited for the machine to signal a shock and, once it did you quickly moved back. You didn’t want to leave her side but decided that it would be best to signal the professionals. With that in mind you let the machine take over and, pressed the emergency button in the room and, immediately ran back to Himiko’s side.

Your tears finally over flowed and, you gave out a cry of relief once she gasped for breath after another shock. You refrained from embracing her, but your tears didn’t quell, and you could only cover your mouth as you vaguely made out her golden optics from her lidded eyes. Your legs turned to jelly as you fell on your rear immense relief filling your form.

“Oh my gosh!” The door was slammed opened by another Doctor and, you made out two nurses behind him. He rushed into the room and, sent one of the nurses to bring a gurney. He turned to you and, clasped your shoulder.

“You just saved her life. Ha you’re a hero.” He breathed.

When Himiko finally came to she noticed that her body felt sluggish and, that she wasn’t in (Kansas anymore) anywhere familiar. She did make out the tuffs of your hair from the bathroom mirror. Before she could motion for you, you turned and, caught her conscious gaze. With a relived cry you ran towards the hospital bed and, clasped the hand that didn’t have a needle in it to your chest.

“T-toto-chan.” You sobbed. “Oh, thank God that your okay. I don’t know what I would have done if... if.” The words proving to much for you to say you continued to bawl in front of her snot running down your nose. Himiko’s own eyes misted and, she found that the liquid seemed to slide down on its own.

“I-I was so scared (Name)-chan.” Her hoarse voice cried.

You only nodded embracing her form lightly as to not hurt her. “I was scared too. I couldn’t stop thinking- “

“Shh it’s okay (Name)-chan you saved me.” She gave you a teary-eyed smile and she whispered

“You’re my hero.”

#bnha imagines #bnha #mha #mha imagines #toga himiko #toga x reader #bnha insert #mha x reader #bnha himiko #himiko x reader #🥺#my heart 🥺#unofficial knife wife blog

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fakeyellow · 5 years

Text

I love angst. Based on an anon prompt, this is a story where MC gets ill.

“I put my symptoms in WebMD and it says I have leukemia.”

Lily laughed, “Girl, you know WebMD always says you have cancer even if you only have a cold. You cough once and WebMD’s like you’re gonna die in ten seconds.”

“What’s WebMD?” Jax asked, a confused look on his face.

“It’s a website where you put in your symptoms and they tell you what’s probably wrong with you,” Celia replied, smiling at Lily’s words although there still remained a slight worry in her eyes.

“Hmm, you know, I have been feeling a bit tired lately, maybe I’ll try it out,” Jax mused, rubbing his stubble thoughtfully.

“Jax. You’re a vampire,” Lily reminded him, her face scrunched up in disbelief.

“Yeah, well, you never know,” Jax defended himself even as his neck flushed in embarrassment and Lily could only laugh at him.

“Perhaps you should go to the hospital if you’re worried. I’m sure it’ll be just a small cold like Lily said but it’s best to check,” Adrian smoothly interrupted.

“Will you come with me? I don’t like hospitals,” Celia turned to Kamilah with an earnest look reminiscent of a puppy’s.

“Of course,” Kamilah responded, and although she looked like her usual, unruffled self, there was just the slightest bit of concern in her eyes. After all, Kamilah had been there with her the entire week, had noticed how Celia was more tired than usual, had noticed how Celia had lost weight, her hip bones jutting out from her skin.

And strangely, it was that concern in an otherwise unmoveable woman that grounded Celia, rather than further worry her. No matter what, Kamilah lov- well, she had strong feelings for her and that was all she needed.

Besides, Lily was probably right. She probably just had a cold or infection or something.

—-

“I’m sorry but we found that you have acute myeloid leukemia...”

Celia walked about the dark streets of New York, moving as if in a daze.

“But that’s what WebMD said,” Celia dumbly said, unable to comprehend what her doctor was telling her.

“It’s not often accurate but I’m afraid it was in this case. Now, what this means is…”

The rest of the doctor’s words had blended into an unintelligible noise and now she was here, in the busy streets, not knowing what to do. Was she supposed to cry? Was she supposed to fall to the ground, wailing that she still had too much of her life yet to live? Was she supposed to lash out in anger at the world that had dropped this atomic bomb on her, at her body that had betrayed her?

But Celia just felt… nothing. There was an empty numbness in her threatening to consume her, a hollow hole in place of where her heart was supposed to be.

Without a real destination in mind, Celia just kept walking and walking until she found herself in Kamilah’s apartment, welcomed by that familiar scent of lilies and cinnamon. Her exhausted legs dropped her onto the side of Kamilah’s plush bed, and she just sat there, unable to do anything else.

There was no real sense of time passing in the heavily curtained room with its constant, warm temperature, but eventually, there was the sound of the front door opening. Kamilah briskly stepped into her room, her momentary pause the only sign of her surprise.

“I went to your apartment but you weren’t there. What did the doctor say?” Kamilah asked casually as she took her blazer off and placed it in her closet.

When there was no response from the still woman, Kamilah went over and joined her on the bed.

“Celia?”

And it was this gentle call of her name, each syllable said with such tender affection, that finally caused her numb façade to shatter into pieces all around them.

Great, heavy sobs ripped out of her chest and she turned blindly into Kamilah’s warm embrace, the woman’s arms immediately wrapping around her trembling shoulders.

When at last her tears stopped, Celia slowly lifted her head from Kamilah’s chest, looking embarrassed at the wet spot she left behind.

“Wow, that’s gross. I’m sorry I ruined your silk blouse.”

“Think nothing of it. Are you okay?” The Egyptian woman asked, concern written on her ageless face.

“Yeah, the doctor said it was a virus. I think I was just really worried about it even though I tried to pretend I wasn’t,” Celia admitted, wiping the wet tears from her cheeks with a shaky smile.

The vampire’s eyes narrowed but she did not further press the matter.

“Well, shall we celebrate your clean bill of health?” Kamilah asked with a devious smirk, and when they fell back into the bed together, she noticed the uncharacteristically desperate, almost ferocious passion in Celia’s actions.

Celia was hiding something from her.

—-

Celia collapsed onto her bed, too tired to be affected by the strong disinfectant smell pervading the apartment.

The first week after her diagnosis, she’d visited the hospital more times than she’d ever been in her life, undergoing countless tests and even spending a few days in the ICU after she had caught a cold that had quickly gone downhill.

Although she had tried to maintain a double life, spending her days in the hospital and her nights in the world of vampires and corporate finance as Adrian’s chief assistant, it had quickly become too much for her. After falling asleep at her desk multiple times, Adrian had kindly told her to take a few days off to rest and she had all too eagerly accepted.

But when her first chemotherapy appointment had been scheduled, Celia knew she’d need an excuse that would somehow give her several weeks away from everyone to recover. She had filed for a leave of absence, telling everyone that she needed to go take care of her grandmother who had suddenly fallen ill and praying that Lily would trust her enough to not mention that her grandmother had died two years ago

Momentarily taken aback, Lily had quickly recovered and wished Grandma Lucia well, before texting Celia later that night that she would be waiting for an explanation. Everyone had accepted her lie without a hint of doubt but Kamilah.

Celia had successfully avoided Kamilah until that moment, citing her work and her busy schedule as an excuse. For the first time, Celia had been grateful she’d never officially moved into Kamilah’s apartment because there would have been no hiding her secret in such close proximity.

Her heart had ached at the sight of the beautiful woman she loved, but Celia had forced herself to keep a distance between them, hurriedly running to her car when it looked like Kamilah wanted her to stay back after the others left.

Part of her had wanted Kamilah to run after her, stopping her, and forcing her to give up what she had been hiding so she could finally be with her again, and part of her continued to want that. But the larger part of her that loved her refused to break Kamilah’s heart, even as she felt unfairly hurt when Kamilah didn’t follow.

That had been just yesterday, today filled with her first round of chemo. And while she had felt fine at the hospital and her anti-nausea meds seemed to be working, an overwhelming wave of exhaustion had crashed into her.

It was only after she’d promised her doctor that she had someone to care for her and keep her apartment sterile that she’d been allowed to return to her home after the treatment. Because even though she was alone, Celia needed the comfort of her apartment. Thankfully, it was small enough that it hadn’t taken her much time in the morning to disinfect everything.

And though her bed was not nearly as soft as Kamilah’s was, Celia found herself falling asleep with no troubles at all.

—-

She didn’t know what time it was when she woke up, but all she knew was that her meds had failed and she needed to vomit.

In the dark, she nearly tripped over herself in her frantic run to the bathroom, collapsing onto her knees when she finally reached the toilet. Without a second’s wait, Celia found herself heaving the measly contents of her stomach, hands tightly gripping the white porcelain. It was some time after her vomiting had been replaced by dry heaving that she finally noticed the cool hand on her neck, holding back her hair.

She closed her eyes, feeling absolutely wretched, and rested her forehead onto the bowl of the toilet without care, when her eyes flew open. She jerked her head to the side only to gaze straight into bottomless, brown eyes, and she recoiled in horror at the implication.

“You can’t be touching me,” Celia gasped, her back pressed up against the bathtub after her attempt to get away.

Kamilah stared back at her, a flicker of hurt appearing on her face before an unreadable look replaced it.

Celia struggled to get up, placing a trembling hand on the bathtub for support, and in a flash, Kamilah was right in front of her, ready to support her. But Celia flinched from her touch and Kamilah finally let her arms fall limply to her side, forcing herself to only watch as Celia dragged herself out of the bathroom and into her bed.

Even as a storm of emotions raged in her chest, Celia’s fatigue proved to be the victor and she promptly fell asleep.

—-

When Celia awoke, a sour taste was in her mouth but she felt infinitely better than she had the last night. The nausea had gone and-

The memories of the night before came back to her and she sat straight up, only to wince at the sudden rush of blood to her head. And Kamilah was right there, sitting at the edge of her bed, looking like she had been watching Celia the entire night even though the clock on the wall told Celia it was noon (a time Kamilah should have been sleeping).

Her mouth was pressed together in a straight line as if to prevent the worry from escaping and without a word, she gestured to the glass of water on the bedside table.

Celia hesitated for a second, and Kamilah said, “I didn’t touch it.”

Feeling guilty, Celia gave her a grateful nod and quickly drank the water down, relishing its refreshing taste. There was silence and a fraught tension in the room once the glass was empty, Celia’s eyes determinedly fixed on the glass and Kamilah’s eyes determinedly fixed on Celia.

“You’ve been hiding something from me.”

Celia felt her throat dry and she wished that the empty glass in her hand was full again. She opened her mouth and closed it and opened it again before deciding she owed Kamilah the truth. She had already seen her last night; Kamilah would find out even without her telling the truth. And so, with a shaky exhale, Celia said,

“When I went to the doctor’s, they told me I have leukemia.”

The silence that followed was the worst Celia had ever experienced; she would have traded this silence for their previously tense silence over and over again.

Kamilah’s hand clenched into a tight fist, veins straining against her taut, tan skin and she suddenly looked every two thousand plus years of her age.

“I’m not going to lie to you,” Kamilah said in a deceptively calm voice, “I’m hurt you decided to keep this from me, but that’s not important right now. Why didn’t you tell anyone? Lily, Adrian, and Jax, you should have told someone even if if you didn’t tell me! Why would you go through this alone?”

Celia ignored the second half of Kamilah’s questions, tearily responding, “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

Tears spilled over at the vulnerability she could see in Kamilah’s eyes, the vulnerability she had caused.

“I thought I could just go through the treatments by myself and once I was okay again, I could tell you so you wouldn’t have to be worried. I-I didn’t want to burden you. And I didn’t want to get hurt either,” Celia admitted.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore, not now that I’m sick. Not when you have thousands of years in front of you to be with anyone you choose,” she desperately rambled, needing Kamilah to know why she had lied to her, needing Kamilah to stop looking so heartbroken.

“I love you so much but I’m just so scared,” Celia finally whimpered.

For one terrible second, Celia was sure that Kamilah was going to walk away from her forever but then Kamilah fiercely embraced her, somehow causing all of her fears to disappear.

“I love you Celia. I’m sorry I haven’t said it before and made you doubt my feelings for you but I love you and you’re going to be okay. It’s all going to be okay.”

“I promise.”

—-

A/N: I actually had a friend in high school who diagnosed herself with leukemia using WebMD before she went to the doctor’s and got an official diagnosis.

When you get chemo, your immune system is basically gone/severely compromised so you have to be really careful about germs, which is why MC kept telling Kamilah that she can’t touch her.

MC didn’t tell Kamiah because she didn’t want Kamilah to worry about her and also they were together but their relationship was never officially defined so MC was scared and also MC just got diagnosed with cancer, she’s scared out of her mind, she’s not thinking properly.

I’m definitely going to have a second part to this although I’m not sure how long it’ll be. It’ll probably be on the shorter side.

#kamilah x mc #kamilah sayeed #bloodbound #playchoices #My writing #lily spencer #jax matsuo #adrian raines

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ladylb · 5 years

Text

The Liar and The Broken Balance

Also on AO3

Chapter 2

Adrien looked like he was about to cry. “What… what can I do Master?”

“You must find Ladybug,” Master Fu announced, “apologize and help her balance her life by being there for her, not necessarily in that order. Her trust for your civilian self must be restored. Then you must grow closer, hopefully with a reveal as that will stop this from happening ever again. You may even need to expose this Lila’s lies. If you are not there for Ladybug and soon, well, there are only two things that can happen, but neither will allow you to remain Chat Noir.”

“What?” Adrien loudly gasped.

Plagg hissed, “Quiet! My Sugarcube needs quiet.” He ended his comment almost lovingly with a purr for the pink kwami whose color was turning slightly darker already and she looked like she was peacefully sleeping.

Master Fu nodded and whispered, “it was not Ladybug’s actions that began this atrophy, and being Ladybug, she must love, for from love comes creation. The repercussion of your inaction has shaken her to her core. Her love that she must give, is tentative, meaning if she loses her feelings for your civilian self completely and falls for another before her connection to Tikki is lost, she may be able to remain Ladybug.”

Adrien connected the dots, “and her new,” he gulped, “crush, will be the new Chat Noir?”

“Possibly. If nothing is done, her connection to her miraculous will fade into nothingness as will yours.”

“Wha- what if I fell in love with another?” Although he doubted that could ever happen but he had to ask.

“Your balance would still be broken. You chose to test your bonds first and unknowingly weakened your links. Currently you both love each other to some degree, just not the same sides of each other.”

Adrien grimaced, “does that mean that she’s a fan then?”

Master Fu pursed his lips, “you could say that,” then he thoughtfully added, “yes, yes I think I can safely say that she was.”

Adrien’s heart fell, he had held the heart of his Lady and he hadn’t even known about it until he was losing it and hadn’t even known it was happening. He felt terrible.

Master Fu saw the young man’s reaction, so he patted Adrien on the shoulder. “Although she always wished that you would notice her, I will admit that you’ve met behind the mask. The magic cannot be restored if you do not put in any effort, that is why I cannot tell you more than the most basic of vague details. Essentially, you were in love with one another, just the wrong sides of each other and her love for your civilian side is fading due to your choice in siding with the girl that bullied her by doing nothing. Unfortunately, it was your lack of being there for Ladybug and your not balancing and helping her out, that caused this domino effect.”

“But Master, I don’t even know what I did!”

Master Fu leveled a subtle but disappointed look at the boy as he put his hands on the lesson plan. “Chat Noir, do you deny that you supported this Lila’s lies by not confronting them? Only hoping that she would eventually be caught and that no one would be hurt in the process?”

Adrien looked ashamed and looked down at the floor as he muttered, “no.”

“Own up to it Chat Noir. What did you say?”

Adrien took a deep breath and loudly announced, “NO,” but then he whispered, “I didn’t mean for this to happen Master.”

“Chat Noir, your Ladybug was hurt because injuries of the mind and soul are greater than your average physical ones, they can change a person permanently. Ladybug is questioning much in her life and pretending that she isn’t hurt. Now would have been the time for you two to begin to grow closer, and yet you have backtracked and unknowingly thrown everything out of balance.” Master Fu waved his hand as if he was tossing something away.

“You have seven days Chat Noir. I will not allow more, the kwami should not have to endure more pain than necessary as they try to hold onto and maintain your weakened bonds that are slipping away. To help Ladybug over this, you must find her and help her to repair or restore the most precious of what she has lost, or it is likely that you will both lose your miraculous and I will have to find a better suited and harmonic pair.” The old man looked depressed at the very idea.

Adrien looked hurt but determined, “Master, how will I do that? I don’t even know where to begin!”

“You will have to open your eyes Adrien. Plagg is allowed to help by reminding you of what you know, but he cannot make the conclusions for you or tell you her name. In the meantime, the unbalance between your civilian selves will only cause havoc for your powers if you both go into battle transformed because being together and transformed will strain your balance faster than if you stay away from her and remain untransformed.”

“Master, what are you saying?” Adrien did not like the sound of this.

Master Fu nodded as if he had made a decision, “as Ladybug is needed to cleanse the akuma, I’m afraid that you must stay away from any akuma fights and do your best not to be transformed when she is.”

“What!? How will I talk with her? How can I help her if I can’t even see her!”

Master Fu almost rolled his eyes as he let out a small but rare exhale of frustration, “Adrien, obviously you must discover her identity outside of the mask and she must forgive you naturally and come to love you once more outside of your heroic selves because that is where the damage happened. All of this is due to the weakening of your soulmate bond. I cannot tell you who she is and the balance will not be restored if you ask her to reveal herself or if you tell her who you are without sincerely apologizing. Also, you must not tell her the whole truth as to why your kwami are ill.”

“But that would fix everything!”

“No, it would throw everything further out of balance!” Master Fu almost snarled, then he took a relaxing breath. “I am sorry, this has not happened in centuries. I have failed you by not encouraging you to become closer by now, maybe if you had been and had known who each other were this would never have happened. I cannot fix this for you, but I can tell you that discovering your identity right now for her would be disastrous, because right now she holds her relationship, her friendship, with Chat Noir above her feelings for Adrien, tentative as both may be. Learning the truth now without forgiving and trusting Adrien again will tear apart her faith in Chat Noir as well and she will be unable to stay connected to her miraculous, breaking your connection to yours as well. We must not allow her to consider renouncing it any more than she has done so already.”

“She’s… she’s thought about not being Ladybug anymore?”

Master Fu nodded. “For nearly the past week, she’s had some close calls and has almost been akumatized several times. I have been trying to help her meditate, but she needs something more.” He looked at the young cat with a knowing nod. “She has not been able to get over what has happened and it has weakened her will, already she is not the same Ladybug that she was three weeks ago although she is trying to remain strong on her own.”

“Is that when this happened? Three weeks ago?”

Master Fu waved off the idea, “I cannot confirm that, because it would be sharing too much.” But then he winked slightly as if confirming something.

“I didn’t know it was so bad, I didn’t even know she was going through all of this, she hasn’t said anything during patrol.” Adrien thought about the last two weeks, she’d been more contemplative than usual, and he could have sworn that the light in her eyes had dimmed. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t tell him if anything was bothering her, personal stuff remained personal as always, she had only shrugged it off like he had been imagining things.

It was terrible knowing that he hadn’t been imagining things and she was afraid to tell him what was going on in her civilian life.

Master Fu admitted, “Ladybug as Ladybug hides her feelings and prefers to remain professional as a hero. You must not forget that she has the emotions of a teenage girl as a civilian under the mask to say the least. Her pride and her fear that Chat Noir would think less of her because she is human stopped her from asking you for help. Help that she thought that you would be unable to give because to her as a civilian, you are strangers.” Master Fu gave Adrien another subtle wink.

“Why?”

“She doesn’t need Chat Noir, she needs an everyday Chat Noir, she needs Adrien’s true self.”

Adrien looked downcast, that would mean he would have to be more like Chat Noir and less like his Father’s perfect son, but if his Lady required it, he would do it.

Master Fu thought about something, but stopped himself from saying it before he continued, “you must put in the effort to find her and regain her trust, be the support that she needs to repair this rift. I am not sharing this information with her, as she has too much on her plate right now and I will not add to her burden.” Master Fu waved the idea off.

“I can’t even call her on her communicator then, can I?” Adrien asked sadly.

“If you do, do it tonight about forty minutes after Tikki leaves. Keep it short and let her know that you want to be there for her, but cannot be because I’ve advised you to rest your kwami and remind her that you do care. I suggest that you make it your last contact with her until you have done what you must. This will be difficult Chat Noir, but necessary.”

“I know.” Adrien nodded his head.

“If Ladybug asks about the illness of the kwami, tell her that it must be a cold or something and that I am treating your kwami too but I have advised you not to take him into battle or transform since one of them needs to not lose their strength. Although right now Tikki grows weak as Plagg’s powers are becoming overwhelming painful for him as he struggles to control them. It is a symptom of your imbalance. Plagg will do his best to help Tikki get through this, I’m sure. Ladybug’s knowing the cause of all of this will only speed up the atrophy between you and you will lose precious time to find her and be there for her other side, that is why you must only say that he is sick too, not why. For it can only be cured if Adrien can be there for the side of her that needs the balance between you restored.”

Adrien sighed, “so, what now? How can you expect her to fight alone?”

“Queen Bee will be there to help her during akuma fights. Chloe has been showing promise and she did not contribute to the acts that led to Ladybug’s broken heart, either for the better or for the worse. So their balance, their mutual respect and trust in battle are unaffected. Queen Bee did not defend Ladybug from this Lila, but then again, she wasn’t in the best position to do so. She will fight beside Ladybug if necessary during this time, and I have already delivered her miraculous to her for the time being.”

“What does Chloe know about all of this?” Adrien managed to ask.

“I suggest that you ask her. I suspect that she knows more than she lets on.”

Adrien looked defeated as he muttered, “seven days.”

“Yes, do not allow yourself to feel bad for not going into the battlefield, you have a more important mission to focus on.”

“Master?”

“You must open your eyes, find your Ladybug, love her as she deserves to be loved and to help her regain some of what she has lost, if possible. You must find a new balance between you. Finally, once your relationship as Adrien has been restored, you must help her to recognize you and your love for each other or risk losing her and part of yourselves forever.”

#MLB #mlb salt #mlb angst #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #kwami #adrien agreste

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nicklangfordmuse · 4 years

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MONDAY | baby daddy verse

Monday morning and it was the day that Martin visits the gym for apparently an important meeting. He isn’t sure what it is about yet but his heart raced. Apart from his heart jumping out of his chest, he was still coughing and feeling a little ill. But today isn’t a day for that. Today is about showing strength and leadership so he really pushed his best with a couple of medicine and a kiss from his fiancé and son. He also gave Katrina another kiss for an advance congratulations for her first day of class. Hopefully, this will be another week filled with good news for the family.

Going into work, everyone can tell that Nick looked sick. And while he did, there’s still that strive in him to keep going, which everyone appreciated. He started his day as usual, going through paperworks. Martin is expected to arrive around lunchtime or after that. While waiting, Nick decided to assist on the field work and help train a couple of people. After a while, Lydia came up to him.

“Martin’s here. He said you’re going out for a lunch meeting.” She informed him and Nick nodded, going back inside his office to put a jacket on before meeting Martin out.

“Hey. Lunch meeting?” Nick asked and Martin nodded at him with a smile before realizing how his voice sounded. “You okay, Nick? You sound...terrible.” Martin said, not trying to be offensive. Nick shrugged his shoulders at him and chuckled. “I’m fine. Just...a little under the weather. But I’m good.” Nick assured him so he just nodded at him and lead him out so they could have lunch.

As they got there, they started talking about personal stuff, asking about each other’s lives and everything going on. Nick told him about his family, keeping the engagement news out of the light for now. Martin even told him about a few personal things which they bonded over. Close to finishing their food, Martin finally brought up business.

“I really appreciate your work at the gym, Nick. I really do. I mean, you’ve brought House of Fitness farther than how I expected it to go.” He started which Nick thanked and nodded him for. “I was told yesterday that...you brought it a number of teachers to register for the gym?” He asked and Nick nodded. “Yeah, well, those are teachers from my son’s school. We’re neighbors with one of them and they started this goal for the school year to work out and take care of their bodies and health too, apart from taking care of the kids.” He shared and Martin nodded. “That’s...thats very nice to hear.” He said, clearing his throat and wiping his lips with the napkin. “Again, I really appreciate all the effort but...” Here it goes. “We’ve noticed...some absences in your record. A lot of...cut hours per day. And I have to say, it’s...actually affecting...the work space.”

“I’m...I’m doing my best and trying to keep my family together at the same time. I don’t...I don’t get it. Are you firing me?” He asked, chuckling to lighten the situation. “No, no, no. That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m trying to say is...maybe...you’re gonna need some help.” Martin said and it was quiet. Silence filled the room and Nick just looked at him like he wanted a further explanation of things. Help? What kind of help?

Suddenly, like a perfectly time movie scene, Brock came in the restaurant and Martin waved at him to come over to their table. “Hey, man.” Brock told Nick with the biggest grin like he just got the best news of his life. He sat down beside Martin and it looked like the two of them has the news Nick was waiting for. “Brock...has showed excellence since we started the gym. He has grown and helped the company so much like you have and...it was time to reward strong efforts and dedication like his. So...I promoted Brock to a managerial position just like yours.” Martin finally explained.

Nick looked at them, hoping he wasn’t hearing this like it sounded. “Like...an assistant manager?” He asked and Martin pressed his lips before shaking his head. “I am assigning the both of you as co-managers of the gym. That way...you’ll have the help you need around the place.” At this point, Nick felt his head become lighter and his chest slowly drowning. He wasn’t getting his job done right so they got a replacement for him. Someone better. “You can manage your time properly, you’ll have two to three days off a week. We’ll balance your schedule well so you’ll have time to take care of your family like you wish. It’s...gonna pay less because you’ll share the position but you’ll have better time management and the stress on your shoulders would be lessen.” He explained before noticing how pale Nick was starting to look. “And look, you should start taking care of yourself. You’ve been sick since yesterday, Lydia told me.”

“Hey, man. I hope you don’t...see this as a competition. Come on, we’re one team. Remember? It’s been you and me since the beginning. We became friends since the gym started. I can guarantee you, we’ll make this gym far better than how we envisioned it from the start.” Brock assured him, hoping Nick wasn’t taking this to the heart.

Nick was quiet at first before realizing how he should react. This should be a good thing. He’ll have help and he can have more time with his family. “Uhm...yeah, man. Of course. We’re a team.” He repeated. Martin smiled, glad that Nick took this the way he hoped he would. Nick started coughing again, feeling his body slowly sinking down the seat. “You okay, man? You worked out too much yesterday with those teachers.” Brock said and Nick shook his head. “I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s just...a little cough.” He said before coughing hard again and Martin knew what to do with this. “Look, take the rest of the day off. We’ll count your hours for today complete but...you can go home. Get some rest and come back stronger tomorrow. Let’s give today to Brock, shall we? Put his managerial assets to the test.” Martin joked which made both him and Brock laugh. Nick felt powerless in that situation and all he could do was nod and smile weakly.

After a while, they headed back to the gym and Nick was getting his things from the office. Suddenly, Brock entered and he was carrying a box of his own things. This is really happening. They’re even sharing an office now. “Hope you don’t mind. I’ve always wanted to put a frame of my loved ones on a desk.” He said, chuckling and Nick just nodded. “Hey, man, really. You should get some rest. I have everything handled here. No worries. Just...let me know when you get better so we can discuss a few things I talked to Martin about. Ya know, managerial stuff.” Nick pressed his lips together before nodding, feeling very ill now. “Okay. Uhm...I’ll...see you soon.” Nick said as he headed out to his car to drive home.

The place was empty. It was so quiet and Milo had only approached him a little and went back to his little bed. Nick still kept coughing, feeling worse than how he did earlier. He just sat on the bed, his mind going blank as his body was slowly falling into the trap of illness. And yet, he couldn’t stop remembering the meeting. He was given a partner to share the position and yet, he felt like he was being replaced. Nick couldn’t get the job done and this was just making him feel useless. Like he’s not good enough. The last time he felt this heavy was when he couldn’t find the desire to go to college as Katrina did. And he made the decision to leave the love of his life for her dreams to come true. He couldn’t let her go down with him so he just left so he’d go down alone. A tear fell from Nick’s eyes as he closed them and the coughing started again. It became chilly that he felt like he needed to lie down and cover himself with a blanket for heat and protection from his insecurities. After a while, he suddenly passed out. His body finally gave up on him and the simple cough became a terrible flu, causing him fever, body pains, cough and colds.

Nick slept throughout the afternoon and when the time to pick up Shawn came, he missed it. He complete missed it because he was terribly ill in bed. It had been an almost an hour since Shawn was finished with school and all of his friends had gone home already. He was left there waiting and Victoria saw him. “Shawn, you’re still here? Where’s your dad?” She asked and Shawn shrugged his shoulders, looking like he was on the verge of tears. “Wait here. I’ll call up your parents.” She said, getting the logbook of contact numbers and seeing his parents’ numbers there. She first tried to call Nick but there was no answer. After two more failed tries, she decided to call Katrina. Three times and her calls were just sent straight to voicemails. The boy’s parents were unreachable.

“They’re not answering and they’re the only contacts you have here.” She told the boy and Shawn looked really sad. “I wanna go home.” He whined a little and Victoria could understand his frustration. Shawn was the only one left in school. “Okay. Uhm...I’m...not sure if this is allowed but...I can bring you home. I can drop you off at your apartment as long as your parents are there. Is that okay with you?” She asked and Shawn looked unsure at first but seeing as she’s the only one right there who knows where he lives, he just nodded at her. Holding his hand, they went to the road to get a cab and go home. Shawn was just quiet, wondering why his dad didn’t pick him up. When they arrived at the apartment, he saw the truck there. “Daddy’s truck.” He told Victoria and that gave her the idea that Nick is indeed home. “Alright. Let’s ring the doorbell and see if he’s really home.” She said, going to the front and ringing the doorbell. No movement but Milo started barking. “Milo!” Shawn said, trying to peek at the window. “Milo is there.” He told Victoria, trying to peek at the window again. “Milo, open the door.” He told his dog but it was obviously useless.

No person was opening the door still and Victoria was growing nervous. Ringing the doorbell twice again, Nick felt his eyes flew open at the realization that he had been asleep for a while. Someone was ringing their doorbell. Slowly, he tried to get up but he was just in so much pain as he kept coughing more. He tried to reach for his phone but even that was so hard to do.

Victoria was starting to feel hopeless and she had one last option in mind. If this door is open, then her problem is solved but if it’s locked, then she’s got a lot on her plate than she expected for today to go. Twisting the knob, she pushed the door open and it she was surprised that it wasn’t lock. That was very unsafe. Closing the door behind them, they were greeted by the big dog and Shawn ran to him for a hug. “Milo! Where’s daddy? He didn’t pick me up!” He said, realizing the dog was looking at Victoria. “That’s Ms. Victoria. She brought me here and she’s nice.” He told the dog and Victoria waved at the dog, trying to show him that she’s a good person. “I’m gonna go upstairs and look for daddy.” He said but Victoria shook her head. If the door is unlocked and the apartment is quiet, who knows what’s happening there, right? “Wait. I’ll...I’ll go with you. I can’t leave you unless I know you’re with your dad.” She said, locking the door first before holding onto Shawn’s hand again as they went upstairs. They went to Nick’s room and as they opened the door, they saw him coughing his lungs out and he looked very ill.

“Daddy! Why are you sleeping? You didn’t pick me up from school!” He complained, unaware of what’s happening to his dad. “Baby, I’m sorry. I’m so...so sorry.” He apologized, his voice deeper, really showing how sick he is. “Victoria. You...brought him home?” Nick asked, surprised by the presence of their neighbor. “I was calling you and...his mother and I wasn’t getting answers. He’s the only one left in school so...I decided to bring him here. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do.” She apologized but Nick shook his head a little. “No, no. I’m actually grateful...that you did that. It’s all my fault. I’m sorry.” He said and Shaw was just beside him, trying to understand why he was still in bed. “Bubba, daddy is...very sick. I’m sorry I didn’t pick you up. But...I can’t have you near me right now, baby. I don’t want you getting sick too.” He said, pouting at his son and hoping he understood. “Can you go stay with Milo in your room first?” He asked and he nodded with a pout. Shawn got off the bed and went to his bedroom to take his shoes off and play with his dog.

Once alone, Victoria could see how sick he was. “You probably have a flu. Have you taken any medication?” She asked and Nick shook his head. Victoria moved closer and got a hand over his head before quickly taking it off. “Ooh, you’re burning. That’s not a good sign.” She said, looking around. “Do you have...a thermometer around? And I’m gonna need a towel and...some warm water.” She said as Nick coughed more, feeling the ache in his body. “Bathroom. Drawer.” He said, figuring she just wanted to help. His body was in so much pain and his mind is still racing from his bad news. Victoria went to the bathroom and got what she need, putting a thermometer on Nick to check his temperature. Using the wet cloth, she gently patted his face to cool him a little. Nick laid there helpless but still grateful. At one point, he saw that it was Katrina taking care of him like this which made him smile for the first time today. Victoria saw this and smiled back at him.

“I have some medicine in my bag. You should take it, every four hours.” She said, getting the thermometer and her face squinted as she saw the result. “Too high. If this doesn’t go down after the medicine, I feel like you should go to hospital.” She suggested and Nick shook his head. “I can’t...leave Shawn here. I have to get up. Now.” Nick said, trying to but he just moaned at the pain of trying to get up. “If you could.” Victoria said, seeing he was still wearing his gym shirt. “Also, you should’ve changed your shirt. You work at a gym so I’m sure that’s full of sweat.” She said, getting up before suddenly feeling like she’s too nosy. “Uhm...is there...anyone I can call? Like...Shawn’s Mom? Where is she?” She asked and Nick shook his head at her. “It’s her first day teaching ballet. I can’t distract her today. Not today.” He said, letting out a breath. “Can you try calling Daria? She’s Shawn’s sitter. I just need at least someone watching over Shawn until Katrina gets back.” He said and Victoria nodded, getting Nick’s phone as he gave it to her. “Uhm...do you...want me to get you a shirt? So you can change?” She asked and Nick nodded, pressing his lips together. Pointing at a shirt on the desk, Victoria got it and gave it to him. “Do you...need help?” She asked and Nick felt so shy. “It’s okay. I think...I can do it. Just try to call Daria, please.” He asked and she nodded, going out to the hallway to make a call.

Once he was alone, Nick slowly got up, trying to take in the pain as he tried to change his shirt as quickly as possible. Getting the medicine, he took the water bottle from the table and drank it. Laying back down in bed, Nick was still in pain but he knew he’d be in so much more when Katrina finds out that he failed to pick up Shawn from school. Closing his eyes, he quickly opened it again when he heard Victoria come back in the room. “Okay. I spoke with your sitter and she won’t be back in town till tomorrow. So...anyone else we can call for you and Shawn?” She asked as Nick thought about it. If she called Rachel, Katrina’s gonna know about this and he wanted to be the first to tell her. So...no one, basically. Nick shook his head at her and Victoria nodded, pressing her lips together. “Uhm...well, I just live next door so...I can stay with Shawn if...that’s cool with you. I mean, until...his mom comes back.” She suggested and Nick pouted at her. “That’s not your job. I don’t...want to put more burden on you.” He said, feeling bad for abusing her kindness today. “No, no. Really. I just...want to help. I mean, we established yesterday that we’re also..neighbors, right? So...neighbors are kinda friends too. Plus, I can’t leave the little boy alone here so...that’s gonna be on my conscience too.” She explained, moving closer again and feeling the need to gently wipe Nick’s face of the wet cloth. Closing his eyes, Nick let out a breath. “Thank you...for being here.” He whispered and Victoria smiled, patting the cloth over his neck too. “Give me two hours. I promise I’ll be down to check on you two. Just...put Lion King on and he’ll be set.” He suggested.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Shawn was bothered by the fact that his dad didn’t pick him up from school. Not only that but he was alone upstairs with his teacher. Thankfully, the landline was transferred to this apartment and it has Nick and Katrina’s numbers both on speed dial. Pressing 1, Shawn waited for his mother to answer. It took a while before he heard his mother’s voice. “Mama!” He said but then, he realized it was directed to voicemail. After the beep, he spoke again. “Mama, it’s Shawn. I’m home but...daddy didn’t pick me up. Because daddy is sick.” He paused, pouting to himself. “Where are you, mama? Can you come home already? I miss you.” He said, taking another long pause before hanging up the call. As he sat on the couch, he saw Ms. Victoria coming down the stairs.

“Hey. So...your dad is very sick but...he told me to stay with you until he comes down. Is that okay? We can watch the lion King while we wait.” She suggested, remembering that it was the key word. Shawn nodded at his teacher and Victoria smiled at him, turning the TV on so they can watch while Nick is trying to rest upstairs.

#verse: baby daddy #pls don’t kill me

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