#idk its just annoying this is the second time shes been in the store and both times now shes complained to me about it 🙄

[romeoandromeo]

.

#some of these customers man... #this woman came in with a much older woman (assuming the old lady was the mom) #and like the woman was super cool but the old lady jesus #started instantly complaining about these stupid fake plants we have by the door #saying she could've tripped over them how if she did there would be a lawsuit #like... i didn't put those there #that's where the owner wanted them #and i pretty much essentially told her well i dont really have say over where things go and whatever #and she just kept going on and on about a lawsuit and all that #and like... she said if it was a wet floor there would be a sign blah blah blah #but like... these fake plants are wet florr sign height so by her logic she should have seen them :// #they're literally really obvious and I've never had a single other person complain about them #nobody has ever tripped over them #they arent really in the way theyre literally just on either side of the rug thats at the door #like you'd REALLY have to be going out of your way not to see them #like coming in literally staring at the ceiling as you walk in #idk its just annoying this is the second time shes been in the store and both times now shes complained to me about it 🙄 #and i dont want to talk about moving them to the owner bc im a little afraid of him lol #eh i mentioned it to my manager over text so maybe or maybe not something will get done about it ig

[munsster]

loudmouth

A/N: (repost because i royally fucked it up the first time) anyways i wholeheartedly believe in annoyingly loud steve harrington

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary: Steve Harrington is the noisiest bastard in all of Hawkins. 1.1k words.

Warnings: SMUT, cocky/annoying/loud/whiny/pervy harrington, its so dirty and nasty idk what to say, f receiving oral, face sitting, handjob, praise kink?, pussy spanking, pet names (sunshine, sweetheart, princess, baby, buttercup)

His belt's not even unbuckled, and he's already talking. Chatting more like, and shoving his fingers into your mouth, too. The audacity of this rich boy to sit there looking so handsome all while muttering to himself about how everything feels, burying whatever he has down your throat.

It's like he has a knack for it. A skill. Prattling and gagging you, talking himself through it like he needs it.

"Clenchin' 'round me, sunshine, how d'you expect to take my cock, huh? Can't even get two fingers down there." Oh, and he says it like he's giving an exam. It's a matter of fact that nothing else will fit down your throat, but he's only saying that when he presses down on your tongue and you sob.

Then he starts babbling. Still focused on your little throat and your thighs and your tits in that skimpy top, but he's sifting through plain old small talk at this point.

"Thought about you comin' into the store the other day. Yunno, you didn't have to bend over to grab that tape. I had it," he says, cool as ever, "but you insisted on flashing your little pink panties. You're lucky it was a slow day, sweetheart. I could'a been real cross with you.”

He can't stop fucking talking.

And after he exhausts work and weather, he's all over you. Tossing you around and being so so cruel and uncaring. But he's still taking care of you. Making sure you never bump your head or torque a joint or squeeze him too tight. But God, he loves when you do strangle his poor cock. That makes him the loudest.

Pretty sure he just likes hearing himself. He's all alone in that big house somedays and still so noisy with a fist around his own cock. Rattling the goddamn walls with his tighty-whities around his ankles. But nothing beats your pussy.

Especially when he pulls down your undies and there's already a damp spot. His eyes just flicker up to yours with that mischievous grin. He's so gross and cocky.

"I get'cha real wet, don't I, sweetheart? Walkin' around all day with my favorite pair ruined,” he huffs, "Shoulda said something. I could'a helped." Then he just barely presses his cockhead in and you're already clamping down.

"Well, Jesus Christ, baby, doin' all the damn work for me.” And she really is. Always amazed by the pussy grip around his fat cock, just sucking him back in.

You reach around to grab his balls, and he's gargling. Such a monster: tearing it up, smacking your thigh, just talking and talking and.

"Makin' me crazy, sunshine, creamin' all over it like it's your job, huh? Yeah, atta girl, she likes that doesn't she?"

The stroke is slowwww. He knows what he's doing just rolling his hips like he has all the time in the world. And you start to grind back onto his cock, and he just grabs your ass to stop you.

"C'mon, you know who's in charge," he grumbles, "she sure does." Yessir. This thing he has with your cunt is mutual. It's a little love hate, but he's always talking to her. Making plans while you're sitting right there. And he's just laying his head in your lap sometimes like:

"Gonna have you dripping all over my backseat tonight, princess. Gonna ruin the interior. Doesn't matter, as long as you play nice." And just kisses your crotch before like passing out with a cheeky smile on his face.

And then the second he gets you naked he just licks his palm and spanks her. Poor girl and her mixed signals.

"Don't worry, baby, I know how to get ‘er purring."

He does. No question.

Oh, don't get him started. Just sit on his face; it'll make this easier. He has no impulse control when it comes to you. You may very well be riding his face for an hour, and he'll still be digging his fingertips into your soft thighs.

And he's fucking talking.

You can't hear a word he says, but Christ alive, he's rambling down there. Doesn't even matter about what. He only gets louder when you start humping his face, but how can you help it. That shit tickles. And it does not deter him at all. He just slides his palms up your back and starts letting out the most wrecked moans, tongue flicking side-to-side like crazy. He's a madman. Somebody lock him up.

You finally collapse down next to him, and his hair is all messy and his face is glossy and he's so wrecked but he's smiling. Arrogant bastard. And he's harder than ever. His stamina is through the roof.

He just pushes his hair back and licks his lips, pawing at his stiff cock with a real throaty moan. And you're just breathing deep trying to catch your breath but he's kissing you and whispering the dirtiest little things.

"Not done with you yet, buttercup.”

And he just sits back against the headboard fucking drooling when you blinking up at him, setting your perfectly manicured hand on his thigh. Oh, baby, is he sensitive. You wrap your hand around the base of his cock, and he's whining and shaking.

"Such a loudmouth.”

And he twitches in your tight fist, purring when you rub your thumb up over the tip. Yeah, make fun of him, that'll make him LESS horny. For sure.

Absolutely not. He's back to babbling on and on about you and your pretty face and your little pussy—more specifically how it's so needy for him, always leakin' all over your pretty panties, baby, what am I s'posed to do with her?

He's got load of cum just all over, pooling on his tummy when you squeeze his hot shaft and trace the pulsing vein up the side. That groan is unholy. It's shuddered and barked, and he has to bite his fist to hold back. Especially when he peeks an eye open to see you swiping your thumb over his navel to catch some of his cum.

And you look him right in the eye when you pop it into your mouth, and he's putting that in the spank bank. Such a perv, honestly. Always thinking about your mini dresses and teensy shorts. And the gratuitous pair of panties he steals each time he comes over.

He loves talking against your mouth. Real lazily, just kissing you in between talking about you.

"You're so pretty, yunno that?"—smooch—"always kissin' me to shut me up"—a real nasty kiss, all touching your face and tonguing your mouth-"so sweet, even when you're makin' fun'a me, sunshine"—a light peppering of kisses and sweet eye contact—"mean so much to me"—THAT kiss where he swipes his thumb over your temple and moans a little and holds it before giving one more peck—"gotta remind me to marry you."

So yeah, he's talkative. But only for the sake of you keeping him quiet.

masterlist

taglist:

@itsmoonyhere / @milkiane

#steve harrington smut #smut #steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #x reader #x fem!reader #x poc reader #x plus size reader #stranger things #stranger things x y/n #stranger things x reader #stranger things smut #18+ #*

[dbnightingale24]

Salt and Vinegar

Andy Barber One Shot

~~

Ya know, these really are supposed to be one shots, idk why I am the way that I am. TECHNICALLY, this is the second half of ‘Menace In The Sheets, Menace In The Sheets’, but I’m just gonna go ahead and call this part 2, because why not? Yes, this is another fucking novel, because I have no sense of anything at this point in my life. You do get pictures in this one tho, so yay!! I was gonna stop it here, but I’ve been toying around with idea of a part 3...so ya’ll are getting a part 3. I am, as the kids like to say, a sucker. Anywho, buckle up and enjoy another angsty novel by yours truly.

Also, and still very important, SUPPORT SEX WORKERS!!!!

Thanks :) 

Word Count: 29,947 (at least its not 30,000)

Warnings: MINORS DNI!!! SMUT, Very public sex, lying, arguing, drinking, crying, angst, depression, fear, anxiety, fluff, Daddy Kink, manipulation, heartbreak, self hate/anger...ya know, the usual slutty angsty shit I post. 

Song(s) That Inspired This: I’m sorry I’m such a trainwreck of a person. Love me anyway.

Summary: Love is something you never really believed in, but now that you’re deep in it, what do you do when it starts to turn more toxic than healthy?

I do not give consent for any of my works/posts/stores to get posted elsewhere.

~~

“Andy, you constantly say it’s my place, but you come and go as you please, and have your own fucking key,” you sigh, annoyed that you two are having the same argument yet again.

“If no one’s coming over, what’s the issue?”

“I’m sorry, don’t you still go to the fucking club?”

“Y/N-”

“You know what? Fuck it. I don’t fucking care. I’m not doing this with you again. I don’t have the fucking energy and frankly, I just don’t feel like it. You do whatever the fuck you want,” you concede, throwing your hands up as you get off the sofa.

“Baby stop, I’m sorry,” he says softly, wrapping his arms around you from behind. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“You’re always fucking sorry.”

“I know I am. I don’t want to argue. We always seem to argue.”

“Well, I wonder whose fucking fault that is.”

“Sweetheart.”

“Whatever Andy, let me go.”

“No, I’ve been thinking about you all day and I missed you like crazy. I wanna spend time with you.”

“Maybe I don’t wanna spend time with you.”

“Yes you do,” he chuckles before kissing the hollow of your neck.

“I hate you.”

“I hate me too, Baby.”

“How was work?”

“Long, annoying, pointless.”

“Why do you keep doing it if you’re not happy there?”

“Pays well.”

“No, the shady shit you do on the side pays well.”

“It’s not shady.”

“Then tell Lynne about it.”

“You’re annoying, did you know that?”

“You’re putting it nicely,” you smirk. “What do you want for dinner?”

“I’ll cook tonight, it’s only fair.”

“Oh? What brought this on? Something happen that you don’t wanna tell me about?”

“Stop it. I just feel bad. You’ve made dinner for the last week and I’ve been an asshole. I came over today and started an argument, so let me just make it up to you.”

“All you do is start arguments,” you scoff as you break out of his hold and make your way into the kitchen.

“I’m trying to make nice, babe,” Andy sighs, finally shrugging off his coat.

“Yeah yeah.”

“Did you do anything fun today?”

“I argued with Vivian, again, so that was time consuming,” you shrug as you grab two glasses.

“What’s she mad about now?”

“What isn’t she mad about? She said that it was unfair for me to sell everything without talking to her first.”

“What right does she have to anything?”

“Hence the reason for the argument,” you nod as you pour the both of you a glass of whiskey.

“That’s bullshit. I’m guess your Father had something to say about it?”

“Eh, he still just wants to take me out to lunch. At this point, I could murder someone and he’d just shrug it off because he doesn’t want me mad at him anymore,” you laugh before hoping up and sitting on the counter by the sink. “I’m gonna go and see him next Thursday.”

“Yeah?”

“If it means he’ll leave me alone, I’m more than happy to sit through a meal with him.”

“You don’t see yourself forgiving him any time soon?”

“What for? I have no interest in having a relationship with him. I’ve been fine after all of these years, so there’s no use in fixing what isn’t broken.”

“That’s a fair point,” he mumbles making his way over to you and settling himself between your legs. “You think you wanna move that dinner date to another week though?”

“Hmm? Why?”

“I wanna take you away this weekend.”

“Take me away? We can’t do it another weekend?”

“Well, I bought the tickets this morning so-”

“Tickets? Baby, what did you do?” you groan, wrapping your arms around him.

“I’ve been officially divorced for a month. I wanna celebrate and I wanna celebrate with you only.”

“Where are you taking us, Andy?”

“You’ve been saying how nice it would be to go to Hawaii, so-”

“You didn’t!”

“I did,” Andy laughs as you wrap your legs around him.. “We’ve both had a rough go of it, so I figured 2 weeks away would be good for us.”

“Baby...I-”

“I wanted to do this, it wasn’t too much, and I want you to be happy,” he interrupts before kissing the hollow of your neck.

“Andy I-”

“I know, Sweetheart.”

“You didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to. I love making you happy,” he grins before biting your neck.

“Fuck,” you moan, arching your back and leaning into him a bit more. “I thought you were gonna make dinner.”

“Dinner can wait,” he mumbles against your neck.. “I wanna fill you with something else before I feed you,” he husks as he unbuttons his pants.

“Miss me?”

“So much, baby. Gonna show you just how much,” he groans as he pulls your sweatpants down. “My sweet, sweet girl,” he sighs as he thrusts himself inside of you. “So good and all mine.”

This has become routine for the both of you. You argue, pick petty fights, fuck, and make up. You took Andy up on his offer 2 months ago and its been a heavenly nightmare ever since.

Yeah, Andy spends most of his time with you, but not all of his time. While you barely ever work at the club, he spends a good amount of his free time there. When everything happened with your Mother, Andy did spend all of his time with you and it was heaven. He came home to you, looked after you, helped you focus on what truly mattered, and made sure you never slept alone.

He truly was everything you wanted him to be and more.

But you could see him pulling away more and more as time passed. It’s not like he ever lied to you and magically decided that he was ready for a relationship because you were sad, but that’s what you wanted. That’s what you talked yourself into waiting for.

“Then what’s the point of all this, Andy?! Why did you do this?!” you yelled, storming out of the bedroom after him.

“I don’t know why you’re picking a fight when I never fucking told you that I wanted to be with only you,” he spat as he put his shoes on.

“Ya know what? You’re right. My fucking fault, I thought we were getting somewhere, but that was my mistake. We all have to live with the mistakes Laurie made, which is why we’ll never really be together, right?”

“Y/N-”

“No Andy, you wanna keep fucking around, so keep fucking around! Why should I care? You pay my rent, so what right do I have to complain?” you questioned as you put your own shoes on.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?!”

“To work, Andy. You fuck who you want and I fuck who I want, right? We don’t belong to one another, we don’t love each other, and we’re just friends who fuck occasionally, right?”

“Don’t you fucking dare-”

“What? Don’t I fucking dare what, Andy? Do the same shit you do? Earn my fucking paycheck? Fuck someone else? Don’t I dare what? Treat you like you treat me?!”

“Y/N, I swear to God, you walk out that fucking door, I’ll-”

“You’ll fucking what? What will you do, Andy? Cause it’s pretty fucking obvious you’re never gonna let me go, so what the fuck will do? Break my heart and fuck someone else who isn’t me?”

“Sweetheart-”

“I didn’t fucking think so,” you scoffed, taking your jacket off the hook. “You aren’t gonna do shit because you never do anything. You just keep me in limbo because it fucking works for you.”

“Don’t fucking test me, Sweetheart,” he warns as you grab your car keys.

“Go to hell, I’m over this shit,” you spat as you went to reach for the door.

“You think I’m not trying to be better for you?” Andy rasped as he grabbed your wrist, forcing you to spin around and face him. “You don’t think I wanna be better for you?”

“I don’t know what the fuck you want,” you rasped as he pinned you against the door.

“I think I made my intentions pretty fucking clear when I fucked you on the hood of your car two weeks ago,”he growled lowly as he got your jeans undone and down around your ankles. “Remember when I fucked you right outside of the club, for everyone to see?” he questioned as he slid one of his hands down your panties.

“Stop it, Andy” you moaned, loving and hating the pleasurable sensation he caused between your legs.

“In fact, if I remember correctly, the more people that watched, the more you got off.”

“Fuck you!”

“Oh, you did so well that night,” he taunted as he undid his own pants. “You love being my little slut, don’t you?” he mused before forcing your legs around his waist and thrusting himself inside of you.

“Jesus Andy!” you squealed, relishing in the way he always pulled you apart.

“You’re mine, Sweetheart. Don’t ever fucking forget that,” he growled as you clenched around him. “Always so desperate for it rough!”

“I fucking hate you, Andy. I hate you so fucking much!” you mewled, running your hands through his hair as you grind your hips against his.

“Doesn’t feel like you hate me so much when you respond to me so well!”

“You’re such an asshole!”

“Be that as it may,” he grunted as his hold on you got tighter, “you’re still here with me, you’re still waiting for me, and you’re still in just as deep as I am. You belong to me just like I belong to you,” he muttered against your neck before biting and sucking on it.

“Fuck! If you belong to me, stop fucking going there! Fucking...fucking...fuck, I’m so close!” you cried out, your head and your heart in two different places. “Wish I could quit you,” you confessed as you came hard for him.

“I’m so fucking glad you can’t,” he husked as he spilled his seed into you, loosing his balance only a little.

You both stayed that way for a minute, your breathing heavy, as you both slowly came down from your highs.

“I want to do better for you, Y/N,” Andy groaned as he slowly pulled out of you then set you down gently. “I know I’m confusing and hard to make heads or tails of, but I’m trying. I’m really trying, because I do want to be more than just this. I just...I’m still working through some shit.”

“I’m tired of only having part of you, Andy. I deserve better than only being here for your convenience,” you sniffled as you pushed him away from you.

“Sweetheart-”

“Either choose me or don’t, but stop playing hot and cold with me,” you told him gently before making your way back to the bedroom.

He didn’t sleepover that night and you knew he felt bad. Unbeknownst to you, he didn’t go to the club either. He just went back to his place and cried. He left you alone for two days before finally caving and texting you.

Headache: I miss you

It’s so sad how something so simple held so much weight in your heart, but that’s all it took for you to cave and take him back.

You always take him back.

“What do you want for dinner?” Andy pants as he lays his head in the crook of your shoulder.

“To fucking sleep,” you giggle, gaining a small chuckle from him, as you wrap your arms around him. “Salmon? Salmon and broccoli with lemon and butter, like you did last time!” you beam before pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Ya know, I am capable of making you other dinners,” he scoffs.

“Yeah, but that’s one of my favorites,” you pout as Andy just scowls and shakes his head, before pulling out of you. And that makes you groan in dissatisfaction.

“None of that, go lay down. I’ll come and get you when dinner is ready.”

“Are you staying over tonight?”

“Yes ma’am. I told you I missed you and I wanna spend as much time with you as I can.”

“You can spend all your time with me, if you want.”

“Sweetheart.”

“I know...I know,” you sigh, hoping off the counter, and softly pushing him aside,before pulling your sweatpants up.

“I’m trying, Y/N. I’m working on it and I truly only want to be with you.”

“If that were enough, you’d only be with me.”

“Y/N-”

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Andy. I just wanna have a nice night with you,” you smile softly before making your way to the bedroom.

“Baby-”

“Let me know when dinner is ready,” you call over your shoulder before closing the door behind you.

You hear the heavy sigh that escapes his lips before the door closes and your heart breaks. You know he’s trying, that fact has never been lost on you. It would be easy to write the whole thing off as him lusting over you, if Andy wasn’t...Andy.

The ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ texts you receive whenever you aren’t with him, the calls you receive when he’s on his lunch break just because he wants to hear your voice, the flowers you get weekly (always a different arrangement of your favorites), the way he holds you close during movies or when it’s time for bed, the soft kisses on your forehead when you two are out in public, when he tells you that you’re the most beautiful woman hes ever seen when you’re in sweats and shoveling ice cream into your mouth like you’ll never get to eat it again...those things and so many more. Andy’s heart and mind are in the right place, but emotionally, he just isn’t there.

And who are you to judge him for that?

It’s not as if you don’t feel stupid, waiting on a brokenhearted grown man to get his shit together, but you also can’t stop. God, the amount of times you’ve tried your hardest and failed miserably is now at an embarrassingly high count, but how can you stop? He’s the only person you’ve ever truly cared for romantically, and took up all the space in your heart. It would be so much easier to walk away and hate him if you felt like he was trying to manipulate your feelings, but you can tell by his actions that he isn’t.

When he tells you that he’s going out for the night, but comes back 10 minutes later, never saying anything but pulling you close instead and resting his head on yours before placing soft kisses into your hair. The fact that he not only introduced you to Jacob, but referred to you as his absolute best friend. The nights he stays over and ignores his phone, focusing only on you and what’s making you happy or sad at the moment. The surprise visits with your favorite food from your favorite places. No, if Andy wanted to manipulate the situation, he easily could and would, because he’s never been one to mince words or lie about what he really wants. Plus, ever since he told you he loves you, he hasn’t hidden a single thing from you, no matter how much it may hurt either of you.

Of course, you suggested you two not seeing each other for a while until he sorted his shit out, but that didn’t go well.

At all.

“I don’t see what’s wrong with the idea,” you sighed, as you both sat in the living room, on your sofa. “You’re already going out and sleeping with-”

“That’s not the same and you know it,” he muttered, refusing to meet your gaze.

“Andy-”

“If you find someone else, that means that this is over, and I don’t want to lose you. You don’t just give your time and attention to just anyone. Hell, I had to fucking pay for it.”

“Wow, didn’t know you planned on being a dick tonight,” you snapped before getting off the sofa and storming into the kitchen.

“You know I’m right, Sweetheart,” he sighed, following right behind you. “If you give someone else your attention, the way you give it to me, that means you’re truly and completely interested and open to the idea of being with them. With me, it’s just something to keep my guard up because you know you’re the only one I-”

“Andy, I know you hear just how selfish you’re being right now.”

“When did I ever say I wasn’t selfish? When hasn’t that been something you haven’t known? Didn’t I just beat the shit out of Tyler last week for not backing off of you?”

“Well, maybe if someone hadn’t lost his temper and fucked me on the roof of my car, Tyler wouldn’t have thought that he’d have a chance to make me his little whore.”

“Don’t.”

“What? Don’t what Andy?”

“You know you aren’t some woman I only go to see to get my fucking rocks off. Where am I right now? Where am I most nights? Here, with you. You’re the only person i want to be with and I’m sorry. I’m sorry because this is my fault, I’m sorry that I’m always sorry, I’m sorry that I keep hurting you, I’m sorry that I can’t just trust you...Y/N, I’m fucking sorry. You know I-”

“I know you what, Andy? Care about me? Love me?” you sobbed, your frustration equally placed between the two of you. “Cause you only told me the one time and then you weren’t even sure if you meant it.”

“Y/N-”

“But it clearly worked, because here I am waiting for you, like a fool. Loving you, like a fool. But we don’t talk about it, right? We never have that talk, and I just...I keep fucking waiting.”

“Sweetheart-”

“I’m tired and I’m going to bed. You do whatever you want. Stay here, go out, go to your own place, whatever. I don’t care,” you sighed as you wiped away your tears before making your way to your bedroom.

Andy stayed with you that night and held you close, and you let him because he’s all you wanted. All of your emotions and thoughts always went back to him, and you were tired of trying to stop them.

When it came to work, you barely ever went in anymore, but Andy made Samantha keep you on payroll. Though you begged him to stop paying you, Andy only agreed to stop when you found a stable job. That would’ve been easy enough if Andy would stop going back and forth with you about the simple jobs you found.

“You can do so much better than waitressing,” Andy sighed as you rolled your eyes.

“I’m good at it, Andy. Bar tending and waitressing are two things I’m really good at, so I’ll make more than enough-”

“Why not be an assistant or secretary? You get benefits and that’s something you’re gonna need.”

“I feel like that’s something you want me to do, so I can work for you.”

“I mean, I really do wanna fuck you on my desk.”

“Andy.”

“You know I love being honest with you,” he shrugged with a devilish smirk.

“I wanna do something I’m comfortable with.”

“Getting out of your comfort zone could be good for you.”

“What are you afraid of, baby?” you questioned, straddling him.

“I’m not-”

“Don’t lie to me, Andy. You should know better by now.”

He let out a heavy sigh as he rested his hands on your hips. “I don’t want you to find someone else.”

“Andy-”

“I know I know,” he muttered “I have no right and it’s up to you to be with and do whatever you want, but I don’t want...you mean everything to me, Y/N. Yeah, I may be a little slow to get to the point, but Jesus, if I could just put into words just how much you actually mean to me,” he chuckled humorlessly.

You dip down and kiss him deeply and wrap your arms around him. “I’m here with you, aren’t I?” you breathed once you two broke apart.

“For now.”

The pain in his voice broke your heart. “Honey-”

“I’m trying, Sweetheart, I promise. The pain is still there and the wound is still fresh. I don’t believe that you’d ever hurt me like that and I know you can’t live your life to make me happy, but I also know that I don’t make any of this easy. I’m positive that there’s someone out there, way more deserving, that will make all of this easier.”

“Maybe,” you shrugged “but they’re not you. As long as we take our time and are up front with each other, we’ll be okay. We can figure this out.”

“You really think so?”

“I really do,” you smiled at him.

“Dinner’s gonna be ready soon,” Andy states softly as he makes his way into your bedroom.

“Okay babe.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t shut me out.”

“We’ve been having the same argument for weeks, Andy. I’m tired of talking about it. I’m not shutting you out, I’m just coping,” you mope as ‘Real Thing’ by Lights starts playing. “All I do these days is cope,” you mutter.

“I’m gonna stop going,” he responds softly, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I’m not gonna say that I’m gonna be here every night, but I’m gonna stop going to the club.”

“Are you gonna stop sleeping around?”

“Yeah, I figure that’s a good place to start,” he scoffs softly “but I’m still not ready to commit or be in a relationship,” he states firmly.

‘Fuck you when you fuck me over’

“However, I am ready to tell you I love you and that I mean it.”

‘But I’ll be here to hold when you call me over’

You’re slow to sit up, but the smile that comes to your face is almost instant. “Say it again.”

He grins “I love you.”

“Again,” you beg as you tackle and wrap your arms around him.

“I love you,” he laughs softly, wrapping his arms around. “I love you, Y/N. So fucking much.

“I think this is a good start,” you smile at him, straddling him.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, cause I love you too, Andy.”

“And that better not change, Sweetheart.”

“I don’t think you could’ve planned this trip at a better time for this trip.”

“Yeah?”

“ This will be good for us,” you smile sweetly.

Andy cups your face in his hands before pulling you close and kissing you deeply. “I love you and I’ll never get tired of telling you that,” he breathes once you two break apart.

“You’re gonna burn dinner,” you giggle against his lips.

“Fuck dinner.”

“I’m hungry!” you groan as he laughs.

“Fine, come with me?”

“Mhm,” you smile at him before giving him another quick kiss and getting off of him.

The entire time you stand with him while he makes dinner, he talks about the plans he has for Hawaii and how early you two are gonna have to get up. As you sit and listen to him go on about everything, you can’t help but get lost in the happiness you feel of him saying the world’s most simple, yet most complicated sentence in the world.

However, there’s still the reality of you dealing with your friends, and none of that is simple.

“So, you’re gonna stay with him?” Allison asks, sitting on her sofa beside you.

“You don’t think I should?”

“Listen, I’m happy he’s not coming to the club anymore, and I’m happy he’s not sleeping around, but...”

“But?”

“You don’t feel the slightest bit bad for Mary?”

“It always come back to Mary,” you scoff, leaning back.

“I know what she did was fucked up, and I know you’re not doing this out of spite, but she’s so hurt and lonely.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“She was your best friend, Y/N,” Allison sighs. “Your childhood best friend-”

“Until she fucked it up.”

“I know, but if you stay with Andy, there’s little to no chance of reconciliation.”

“So, I should put my happiness on hold to make her happy?”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“That’s exactly what you’re saying.”

“Ugh, what I’m trying to say is to make sure that he’s worth it. Make sure all of this is worth it. Yeah, he loves you and that’s great, I’m truly happy for you, but Andy does things at his own pace.”

“That’s not fair, Allison. There’s so much more that you don’t know.”

“I know that you’ve cried over him and that’s all I need to know. I’ve never seen you in love with anyone, and while I’m happy to see you this happy and excited, I don’t think you should let your guard down so soon. Yeah, it’s nice to hear sweet things, but pay attention to his actions. They speak the loudest,” she sighs before grabbing her beer and taking a sip of it.

Your heart breaks a little, because you know she doesn’t want you to fall into the same trap that she did with Tyler. “You two get into another argument?”

“Yeah, it was bad. Really fucking bad.”

“How bad is ‘really fucking bad’?”

“I threw a glass at him. Missed his head by half an inch,” she chuckles humorlessly, slouching down further. “When the fuck did I become this person? Why can’t I just leave?”

“Trust me, I’m right there with you,” you mutter, pouring yourself a glass of wine and curling up on the sofa.

“You think about leaving Andy?”

“At least three times a week,” you chuckle.

“I thought-”

“That’s what everyone thinks. I’m not as caught up as everyone thinks. I know they’re flaws, I see the issues, and I have to deal with the heartache. However, no one sees Andy the way I do. No one knows him like I do, and I guess that’s something we have in common, because I don’t let anyone know me like he does. The way he looks at me, the way he holds me, the time he takes to really check on me and make sure that I’m okay...trust me, I have my reasons for staying,” you smirk. “Do you?”

“At this point? I really don’t think so. It’s just better than being alone.”

“You’re not alone, babe. You don’t need him to make you feel normal or worthy. I know none of it is easy, but some one who’s actually worthy of your time and love will want to be better for you. Will do better for you.”

“Is Andy doing that for you?”

“He’s trying to and I’m trying to let him.”

“I guess we’re both idiots.”

“I guess so,” you chuckle leaning into her. “We’re gonna talk about a lot all of this when we’re in Hawaii. The distance from everything and everyone will be good.”

“Please just don’t get sucked up into-”

“I know, hun. I know,” you nod, taking a sip of your wine. “I’m doing the best I can to keep my head above water.”

The days leading up to Hawaii were probably the most stressful days you’ve had in a while, and the only person you really want to talk to, you can’t. You miss your Mother every day and you wish you had her to guide you with all of this shit. She somehow always seemed to know the answer to every question and what to do in every situation. Yeah, she liked Andy, but would she want you to wait for him like you are? Would she want you to risk your happiness for someone who can’t make heads or tails of what he wants? Would she want you to trust your feelings and your heart? Would she want you to trust him?

If only she had more time.

By the time you two are finally on the plane, your head is going a million miles a minute.

“What’s going on with you, Sweetheart?” Andy asks as you both take your seats in first class.

“Just...just adjusting, I guess.”

“You’ve been far away since I told you I love you and about this trip. What’s going on?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now,” you smile softly at him. “I just wanna focus on this trip.”

“You believe me when I tell you that I love you, right?”

“More than you know, we’ve just been through a lot...all of this is a lot,” you chuckle softly. “We’ll talk about it in a few days. Right now, I just wanna  be in the moment with you.”

Andy leans over and kisses you deeply, cupping your face in his hands. “This is gonna be good for us.”

“I think so too,” you nod, before a playful grin tugs at your lips. “You really think you’ll be able to keep your hands to yourself for 11 hours?”

The grin that comes to Andy’s face is dangerous and has you excited in all the ways you shouldn’t be. “Now, when did I ever agree to that?”

Andy is able to keep his hands to himself for all of 2 hours before he’s dragging you into the bathroom and pinning you against the door.

“Fuck baby,” you moan as quietly as you can as thrusts himself inside of you.

“You have no fucking idea how beautiful you look right now,” he rasps as he fucks you against the door.

“We could get caught!”

“That’s half the fun,” he smirks before starting to bite on the most sensitive part of your neck that you love the most, before soothing it with his tongue.

“Baby please!” you beg, wrapping your legs around him tighter, your hands running through his hair.

“Quiet Sweetheart, don’t wanna get us kicked off, do you?” he taunts with a devilish grins as he looks up at you being a wrecked mess above him, only making you clench around him. “That’s right, my sweet girl loves when people watch, how could I forget?”

“Andy,” you mindlessly mumble, feeling both arousal and shame at the memory of him fucking you into oblivion on the hood of your car, out in the open for everyone to see.

“Cause you’re mine, right? I can fuck you anywhere and in front of anyone, can’t I?”

“Fuck...fuck yes!” you mewl, arching your back as your release builds and that knot in your core tightens.

“I wanna watch you explode for me, Baby. Need to fucking see it,” he grunts as he relentlessly fucks into you.

“Fuck!” you cry out as softly as you can, going over that cliff of pure ecstasy and bliss that only he’s capable of sending you over.

“I fucking love you,” Andy rasps, spilling his seed into you.

You both stay there for a moment, trying to come down from your highs, before Andy finally slowly sets you down after pulling out.

“There’s no way no one knows what we did,” you giggle as you clean yourself up.

“They didn’t see anything, so they can’t prove anything,” he shrugs as he gets himself back into his pants.

“Baby-”

“Welcome to the Mile High Club, Sweetheart,” he grins before kissing your lips and making his way out.

You can’t help but laugh and shake your head as you continue to clean yourself up and look yourself over in the mirror. You wait a few more minutes before quickly making your way out and back to your seat, only to find Andy mindlessly flipping through an airplane magazine. You flip him off as you take your seat.

‘You just did,’ he mouths with a coy grin and you can’t help but burst out laughing.

When the stewardess walks by, about 15 minutes later, taking drink orders, neither of you miss the disapproving and irritated look she shoots towards the both of you. The moment she’s out of ear shot, you both burst out laughing.

The rest of the flight goes smooth (with Andy only fingering you once), and you’re almost able to forget. Almost able to forget about all of the complications between you and Andy. How you two got to where you are. It doesn’t help that he makes it so easy to forget when he wants to.

That’s part of why you just can’t walk away.

Even though he does his best to hide it, it’s easy to tell by his actions that he’s genuinely always been a sweet man. He’s thoughtful, funny, caring, loving, and affectionate. So insanely affectionate. You’ve come to the conclusion, that when everything happened with Laurie, that’s when his attitude towards everything changed, and that’s something you can relate to more than you care to express.

It explains why he never let himself get too close to Mary, why he was such an ass to all the girls, why he’s so scared of actually committing to you, and why he works so damn hard to show that he doesn’t care.

He cares about everything entirely too much.

So, that’s how you’re always reasoning with yourself to stay. You see him making effort to tear down walls that he was determined to keep up forever, and you know it takes time. You know how hard it is because you’re doing the same damn thing.

But that’s when the argument between your head and your heart starts.

Shouldn’t that be a reason for you to stay away? For you two to both get your shit together before jumping into anything? No, it’s very obviously not impossible for two broken people to fall in love, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t wait until they have it more together to figure shit out.

However, you shake the thoughts of your head as you both approach the house Andy rented for the both of you.

“Andy,” you gasp, marveling at the large, tropical oasis.

The man spends way too much money on you.

“Is it okay?” he asks and you can tell that he’s genuinely anxious. “I know you like to be far away from the outside world, but not too far. I figure that we’re a good ways away from the-”

He’s cut off by you crashing your lips into his, as you wrap your arms around him. “It’s fucking gorgeous. Thank you, Andy. Thank you so much for everything, I love you,” you smile at him.

“And I love you.”

He gives you the keys before grabbing the bags and you both make your way into the house. You just stand there and look around in pure ‘awe’. The view, high ceilings, the marble bathrooms, the pool...it truly was your own private getaway.

Your heart feels full as you continue to make your way through the house, and you find yourself just wanting to stay there forever. Just you and Andy in your own little perfect getaway. No drama with friends or ex’s, no secrets, no fear, no anxiety, no one else, just each other. Free to love one another without any reservations.

You haven’t even been at the place a full 10 minutes and you’re ready to uproot your whole life just to be with Andy in total and complete happiness.

“Do you really like it?” Andy asks softly, walking up behind and snaking his arms around you in the bedroom.

“I love it.”

“Are you happy?”

“I’m always happy with you, Andy. Even when I’m not.”

“How did I get so lucky?”

“I don’t know, I guess you’re God’s favorite,” you smirk, turning around and facing him while still in his hold. “You know, you’ve been really mean lately, Daddy,” you pout, looking up at him, your eyes innocent but tone seductive.

“I have been, Kitten. I’m sorry,” he practically whines. The look in his eyes changing from love to full blown loving lust.

“Are you really sorry?”

“You know I am.”

“Then get on your knees and show me just how sorry you are,” you demand softly, raising an eyebrow as you stare up at him with innocent eyes.

Andy keeps his heated gaze on you as he gets on his knees and slowly unbuttons your shorts and pulls them down. When he goes to pull down your panties you’re quick to slap his hand away.

“Teeth, Daddy. You know what I like,” you taunt.

Andy’s quick to get his teeth on your panties and pull them down slowly, as you bite your bottom lip and keep your eyes on him.

Yeah, you want Andy in the most desperate way (when don’t you?), but this little act is more for him than you. You know he loves it when you surprise him and take control of the situation. The only thing Andy loves more than controlling you is you controlling him.

“Fuck, that’s it, Daddy,” you moan, lulling your head back a little as you feel his tongue on your clit. He hooks your leg over his shoulder, as you grip his hair tight. “You know exactly what I love!”

Andy only grunts in approval as you grind yourself against him, encouraging his actions, as he slides two fingers into your soaked cunt. The moan that leaves your mouth has him quickening his pace as he adds a third finger and starts sucking on your clit.

“Daddy! I’m so fucking close! I know you can be good for me and bring me off!” you cry out, arching your back as you try and keep your balance.

Andy’s gaze locks on yours as he sucks and lick on your clit like he’s afraid of you forgetting how good only he can make you feel. You can tell that he needs you to know that he’s the only one who can make you happy in any way.

“Shit!” you yell, cumming hard on his fingers as he tries keep you up right. He fucks you through your high before letting your leg down and breaking away from you; your juices glistening on his beard as he pants and looks up at you, waiting for instruction. “Get undressed and on the bed now,” you breathe out, taking your own top off before quickly unfastening your bra.

Andy wastes no time getting undressed before laying back on the bed, desperate to do any and every thing to keep you pleased.

“You really want to make me happy, Daddy?” you question as you crawl on to the bed.

“You know I do,” he husks as he stokes himself.

“When did I say you could touch yourself?” you question as you settle yourself on top of him.

“I’m sorry, Kitten,” he groans, stopping his movements almost instantly.

“I haven’t you under me like this in so long,” you moan, grinding your hips against his.

“Sweetheart...please,” he moans as his hands travel up your body.

“Please what?”

“Please do something,” he begs.

“You can’t cum until I get off, Daddy,” you warn before adjusting yourself so that his tip is at your entrance.

“Fuck!”

“Say you won’t or I won’t fuck you.”

“Shit, I won’t baby,” he husks, his hands gripping the sheets. “Bring yourself off on my cock as many times as you want.”

“You’re so good to me,” you moan as you slide yourself down on his cock. “Shit!”

“You always feel so fucking good, baby!”

“Yeah? You love this tight little cunt?” you whimper as you place your hands on his chest and start to ride him.

“I love everything about you, baby! You’re perfect!”

“Andy-”

“So fucking perfect for me,” he moans as you reach around and start to play with his balls. “Jesus, you know all the things I love, don’t you?”

“I fucking try, Daddy!”

You dip down and kiss him deeply, your hands getting lost in his hair as he wraps his arms around your waist, keeping you in place. When you both break apart, you push yourself up just a little, and you look him in the eyes. The way you love him never feels like enough when you look at him. His eyes are always filled with love and desperation. Desperation for you to stay, forgive him, and just try and figure it out.

Every time Andy’s deep inside of you, you feel his love for you. You know there’s no place he truly wants to be, and that you’re his whole world. You know that with you is exactly where he wants to be.

His breath on your neck as his grip on you tightens is all you can take before you cum hard on his cock, clenching him tight.

“Fuck!” he grunts, never breaking his gaze, but you can tell he’s doing his best to hold on.

“Use me, Daddy,” you breathe, still keeping your pace.

Andy has you on your back almost instantly and starts to love you relentlessly.

“Jesus!”

“You know how much I love it when you take over like that,” Andy grunts, his thrusts rhythmic as he collars your wrists above your head. “I fucking love it when you take what you want from me.”

“Feels too fucking good,”you mewl beneath him, your toes curling from the pleasurable build up in your core.

“I fucking love you, Sweetheart. Everything about you...shit! You’re mine and you’re always gonna be mine!”

“I love you, Andy!”

“Now,” he whispers hotly against your ear “I want you to fucking cum hard for me, baby. I want my cock soaked in it,” he demands, his thrusts becoming more and more erratic.

“Andy!”

“I told you to fucking cum for me, Sweetheart!”

“Fuck!” you cry, balling hands into fists as your orgasm washes over you and the world starts to fade around you.

Andy shouts your name as as his seed spills into you, letting go of your wrists so he can hold himself up and ride out both of your highs. After his final thrust, he collapses on top of you and you quickly wrap your arms around him, as you both just lay and listen to each other’s labored breathing.

“I love you, Andy,” you say after a moment, running your fingers through his soaked hair. “I love you so much.”

“I’m so fucking happy I found you,” he says softly as his finger gently traces up and down your arm. “I don’t wanna lose you, Y/N. I know I don’t always act like it, or make any fucking sense for that matter, but I really want to get over my fears and be with you. Really be with you.”

“We’ll talk about it, Baby. We’ll talk about all of it,” you sigh as he places a kiss on your collar bone.

“I want us to get this right, Sweetheart. I know that none of it has been ideal, but you’re...you’re everything to me.”

“You’re everything to me too, Andy.”

“And I really am sorry for being such an asshole. Especially with everything that’s been going on.”

You can’t stop the mischievous grin that comes to your face. “I almost forgive you.”

“Only almost?” he questions and you can hear the smile in his voice.

“I think you’re gonna have a to do a little bit more to really show me how sorry you are, Daddy,” you giggle.

“Good thing this place is ours for two weeks,” he smirks as he pushes himself up and looks down at you. “I’m gonna spend every moment proving to you just how sorry I am,” he grunts as he starts to move within you again.

Andy spent the rest of the day loving you through and through, in every part of the house that he could, only to finish outside by the pool during the sunset. He made you lay down and rest up while he made dinner for the both of you, and let you choose the movie for dinner. He can’t help but laugh when you choose ‘The Little Mermaid’, but he’s more than happy to watch it with you.

At some point, you two fall asleep, cuddled up close and fingers entwined. Any thoughts of getting things done the next day, went out the window when you woke up to Andy’s head between your legs. How were you supposed to even think about getting anything done when he had you feeling mind numbing pleasure?

“I’m sorry,” he breathes after getting you both off for the third time “I swear I didn’t bring you to Hawaii just to stay inside and make love all day,” he laughs breathlessly. “I just-”

“I know baby,” you smile up at him, running one of your hands through his hair. “I know because I feel the same way too.”

You really do. Yes, you and Andy have had each other hundreds of times, but this is different. Everything feels as it should. It’s just you and him and the outside world is almost nonexistent. There’s no drama, no other women, no jealousy, no anger, no Mary, no Laurie, none of his dickhead friends...it’s just you and him, alone and baring your souls to one another. Everything feels like it should, because everything is as it should be.Yes, you’ve always loved sex with Andy, but this is so much more than sex. It feels like you’re finally home, after such a long and strenuous trip. You never want the feeling to end. You never want to be without him.

“I promise that we’ll actually go out and do things tomorrow,” he laughs softly as you make your way around the kitchen, getting dinner.

“What do ya wanna do?”

“I wanna do whatever makes you happy.”

“What makes you happy?”

“You,” he states simply, smiling at you.

You can feel the heat in your cheeks and quickly turn away to hide the smile that makes its way to your face. “Besides me, what would make you happy?”

“I don’t know. Sit on the beach and watch sunrise, visit local shops, take you dancing-”

“Since when do you like dancing?”

“Since I found out how much you love it.”

“Andy, if you’re trying to make me fall in love with you, it’s already happened.”

“Ha ha,” he smirks, making his way over to you. “I know you love me, but I really do love making you happy. The amount of times I’ve hurt you and made you cry...I hate myself for that, Y/N,” he sighs.

You put down the sauce spoon and turn the stove down to a simmer, before closing the little bit of space between you two and wrap your arms around him. “We’re gonna figure it out, Andy. It’s not like I’m the easiest to love-”

“You’ve never done to me what I’ve done to you, and you never would have.”

“I can still be a bitch, Andy. Don’t paint as me as some perfect human being, cause I’ll never live up to that.”

“You already do for me.”

“Andy-”

“Sweetheart, please understand that I went over the choice of making you my main girl a million times before I actually did it. I knew that what I felt towards you was more than lust and still decided to go ahead with my plan. I was dumb enough to think that I’d get over whatever I felt for you. Why wouldn’t I? The one woman in the club that everyone wanted but could never have. I’d fuck you and get over you, but that’s not what happened at all. I fell in love and tried to pretend I wasn’t. Then, to make matters worse, I tried to control you. Getting angry with you for rightfully being angry with me, because I kept telling myself that I was making the situation crystal clear. I told myself that you were acting just like Mary, even though I knew that was the farthest thing from the truth. What I feel towards you is something I never came close to feeling towards her. I haven’t felt this way about anyone and it terrified it me. It still does. So, I tried to distance myself from you, which proved to be useless. However, in the process of all this, I hurt you. I made you cry, I belittled you, I made you question my intentions, and I pushed you away. I hated myself for it then and I hate myself for it now, but I just couldn’t be vulnerable with you. Not like I am now. I’m still not ready to commit, Y/N. I know it infuriates you because it infuriates me. I want to make you mine. I wanna keep you with me at all times because you really are everything to me, but...being that vulnerable again...I’m just not there yet. So, to compensate for me being the absolute asshole that I am, I just want to make you happy. I want to make you as happy as you make me, because you’re fucking incredible and a better woman than I deserve. If something as simple as taking you to Hawaii, or making dinner, or just watching your favorite movies will make you smile, I’ll do it. I just want you to know that I’m not bullshitting you. This isn’t some sort of terrible joke or something to string you along until I get tired of you. I love you so fucking much and will do any and every thing I can do to make you happy. I promise,” he smiles at you, watery eyed as he wipes away your tears.

“Andy-”

“I know we have a lot to figure out, and most of that is on me, but I really want to figure this out. I want us to make it work. As long as you believe we have a chance, then we really do,” he smiles sincerely.

“Jesus Andy,” you sniffle out, as he chuckles and wraps you in a tight hug. “I love you.”

“I love you, Sweetheart.”

You both eat dinner in a happy and comfortable silence, while watching a serial killer documentary (your choice, not his), as you rest your legs across his lap.

Everything feels right, because Andy feels like home.

When you wake up the next morning, you tell yourself and Andy that you’re determined to spend the day actually doing things. Of course, an hour after you two agreed to that, you made love to him in the shower. Nonetheless, you two eventually got dressed and headed out for the day in the door-less Jeep he rented for you both.

The whole day feels like a dream.

The first stop is lunch on the beach and it’s probably the best lunch you’ve ever had. Both you and Andy spend the entire time laughing and debating the most trivial things, that only you two would care about.

“I’m sorry, did you only watch Lord of The Rings? Have you not read the books?” you laugh before finishing off your papaya and mango smoothie.

“I read the books, smarty pants. I’m just saying that Bilbo could have avoided a lot of drama-”

“If there’s no drama, what’s the point?!” you interrupt as he bursts out laughing. “HAVE YOU NOT READ THE BOOKS?!”

“You know, this God complex of yours is really getting out of hand,” he smirks.

“My God complex? You’re one to talk.”

“I do not have a God complex!”

“Andy, it’s your entire personality.”

“Bullshit!”

“Yeah okay, who fought one of his dickhead lawyer buddies for just grabbing my wrist? Even though we’re not officially together?”

“I think it’s time for us to go,” he mutters, eyeing the waiter as you burst out laughing.

The next stop was the beach and you can tell that’s where he feels the most at home and at peace.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” you ask, making your way back to him as you head back from the water.

“A lot,” he scoffs as you settle yourself next to him. “How’s the water?”

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“Nothing-”

“Don’t lie to me,” you warn, now placing yourself directly in front of him. “Talk to me.”

“You’re having a good day.”

“If you’re not having a good day, I’m not having a good day. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I really am happy. I’m just getting ahead of myself.”

“Ahead of yourself with what?”

“It really doesn’t matter, Babe.”

“Andy-”

“I know we have time and that I need to just be here, but I’m so afraid of fucking this up. More than I already have,” he sighs, looking down at the sand as he buries his feet in it.

“Please talk to me, Baby.”

“Why? It’s just a bunch of ‘what ifs’. You don’t need that-”

“Andy, whatever we are, whatever this may be, doesn’t change the fact that I’m very much in love with you. I want to be there for you if I can.”

“Everything is perfect right now. I have no fear of giving myself to you completely, or truly loving you. I’m just scared of...”

“When we get back home.”

“You feel it too?”

“I’ve been doing my best to not think about it,” you laugh humorlessly, taking his hands in yours. “What brought this on?”

“I’m having way too much fun,” he chuckles. “It’s so much easier when we’re away from everyone, isn’t it? Nothing seems to be as scary or as daunting. There’s much less pressure...it’s easier to be happier when you’re just away. I’m always happy with you, but right now? Where we are, how we’re living...I could do this forever with you. I want this with you forever. I don’t know if I’ll be able to be this secure at home.”

“Why?”

“There’s just so much left to deal with. You saw her that night she showed up at your apartment; she keeps fighting for more. At home, I’m reminded of every thing. Jacob’s trial, the whole fucking town turning on me, Laurie cheating on me, then deciding that she just doesn’t want to be with me...the monster I became to deal with all of it...nothing feels good about going home. If I never had to go back, it’d be the best fucking day of my life,” he mutters.

“Well, the divorce is final, you’re out of that house, and Jacob is off at college. The fact that he’s a Barber has me feeling more than confident that he’ll strike out on his own and do just fine, so why stay in Newton if there’s no reason to?”

“Work.”

“Andy, you’re an amazing lawyer. You can find work anywhere, you don’t need to keep working at a place you hate.”

“Then I can’t afford-”

“Don’t. You know how little all of this matters to me. I’ve only ever wanted you and that’s not changing any time soon. I love you for you, not the nice things you can get me. What good is any of this if I don’t have your trust? Your love? Your heart?”

“Fuck, why couldn’t I find you first?”

“I had to get through High School,” you smirk as he starts cracking up.

“You’re amazing, did you know that?”

“So are you, Baby,” you smile before leaning in close and kissing him deeply. “This is gonna be hard for the both of us,” you breathe as you two breakaway “baby steps and patience are what we’re gonna need to make this work.”

“I’m not good with either of those.”

“Neither am I, but I really want to try for the both of us. After all the shit that happened with my parents, I swore I’d never let myself fall for anyone who could complicate my life. Then I met you,” you scoff as Andy chuckles softly. “I am stubborn, I can be mean, I’m unforgiving, and I don’t like compromise. However, when it comes to you, I try my best to fight the urge to throw the towel in, in the name of things being easier, because this is worth fighting for. We’re worth fighting for.”

“You really think so?”

“I know it.”

“What’s it like to be so sure of everything all the time?”

“When I figure that out, I’ll let you know,” you smile with a small giggle.

Andy leans in and kisses you softly while cupping your face. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, Andy.”

You both stay there for just a little bit longer before Andy tells you that you need to get going so you’ll be on time for his surprise. When you try to press him on the matter, he simply shakes his head and tells you, you need to work on your patience.

You can’t stop the gasp that leaves your body as Andy pulls up to a lavish restaurant.

“Andy-”

“I don’t wanna hear it. It’s not too much and you do deserve it. You deserve this and much, much more,” he smiles at you as he turns off the Jeep.

“You don’t have to-”

“I want to. It’ll make you happy and that makes me happy.”

“I’m happy just to have this time with you, Andy. I told you, you don’t need to buy me expensive gifts or take me to fancy places.”

“I know I don’t need to, but I like to do it. I like to do things for you that wouldn’t do for yourself and I love the little gasp that always leaves your mouth. I love the smile that comes to your face. I love you,” he finishes with a smile.

“You’re making my face hurt with all this smiling,” you laugh, turning away from him.

“Good.”

You both walk hand in hand as you make your way inside the building, you leaning in close as Andy quickly gets you two to the elevator. When the doors open and you get off, once again, you’re gasping at the site in front of you.

“There it is,” he chuckles.

“Andy-”

“You love it and I love you.”

“I don’t know how I’m ever gonna make this up to you.”

“The fact you up with me and love me is more than enough,” he smiles sincerely as you’re both led to your seats.

You can barely focus on the menu as you look around the rooftop restaurant, it’s beauty overwhelming to say the least as the sun sets. You’re so caught up in the view you don’t even notice the waiter when he comes over takes your drink order. Luckily, Andy knows you better than you know yourself half the time and orders your Mai Tai for you.

“Andy, this is incredible!” you gush as you take pictures and send them to Allison and Lindsey.

“Yeah? You like it?”

“I love it! You didn’t have to do all of this! I love it so much, I love you!” you beam, scooting closer to him so you can kiss him. “What can I do to make you happy?”

“Just stay with me,” he smiles softly.

“Nope, you gotta tell me something that you want. Something that you want that’ll make you really happy.”

“I have you, there’s nothing more that I want,” he responds coolly before taking a sip of his beer.

“There has to be something.”

“Well, Jacob’s birthday is in two weeks and I’m gonna take him and Sarah out to dinner. I didn’t want to ask you to come along because we’re not officially anything, but I really would like it if you could be there. You both get along so well and I know he’d be happy to see you, and I’d feel better not going alone. I completely understand if you don’t-”

You cut him off by kissing him and pulling him as close as you can. “You are the sweetest man on earth, did you know that?”

“What-”

“Something so simple means the world to you and you’re afraid to ask because you don’t wanna impose? Of course I’ll go with you, Andy. I’d be more than happy too.”

“You sure it’s okay? You going as just my best friend and not my girl friend?”

“Not sure if you’re aware of just how High School you sounded,” you chuckle “but I’m more than happy to go with you.”

“Thank you, I know it’s a lot to ask-”

“It’s not a lot at all. I love you.”

“I love you.”

You both place your orders for dinner before getting lost in conversation about books and music. The music is great, the food is great, and the company is perfect.

You can’t remember the last time you were so happy. In fact, you don’t think you’ve ever been this happy.

You’re on your third Mai Tai when you hear one of your favorite songs playing and you can’t resist the urge to dance.

“Dance with me!” you beg as you pull on Andy’s arm.

“You know you’re more of a dancer than I am,” he laughs, trying to keep his resolve and staying in place.

“What if one of the other guys here tries to dance with me? You don’t wanna see someone else grinding themselves against me, do you?”

“You’re pure evil, you know that?” he growls before finishing the rest of his drink. “Lets go,” he mutters as you giggle and lead him to the dance floor.

Andy doesn’t have to do much as you press your back against his chest and grind yourself against him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you get lost in the music.

“Careful Sweetheart,” he warns with a gentle husk “you know how much I love it when you dance like this on me in public.”

“Maybe that’s why I’m doing it,” you moan, loving the feel of his hands gripping your waist tighter.

“Nothing but trouble.”

“And you love it,” you smirk as you twist your neck slightly and kiss his cheek.

As Andy’s hands travel up your body, you do your best to ignore the lyrics (they’re hitting way too close to home) and just focus on all the pleasure you’re feeling. However, when the chorus hits, you find yourself focusing on it more than you’d like.

‘You know I want you baby, you know I do

I’ll give you my heart and the rest is up to you

You ain’t no good for me, I know it’s true

But you don’t have to be’

As the words roll around in your head, you turn yourself in Andy’s arms and kiss him deeply.

You don’t want to think about anything, you just want Andy.

‘I do it for the thrill, for the rush

I do it for the pain, for your touch

Will I OD when it’s too much?

If I survive, maybe you’re the one.’

Andy’s hold on you is tight as he deepens the kiss and you feel your excitement build. You feel the stares of a few people, but you couldn’t care less. All that matters is Andy and how he’s making you feel.

“Need you now, Kitten,” he husks as you two break apart.

“Then have me,” you mumble as you look up into his loving gaze.

In no time at all, Andy’s dragged you to the men’s bathroom has you pinned against the door of a bathroom stall.

“Fuck!” you cry out, gripping your legs around him tighter as he thrusts himself into you.

“Tried to be romantic and wait until we got back, but you just had to keep pushing.”

“Andy!”

“That perfect little ass grinding against my cock, shit! How the fuck am I supposed to control myself?”

“Never want you to, baby. You can have me whenever you want me. I’m all yours,” you moan, lulling your head back as places wet and desperate kisses all over your neck.

“Jesus, Y/N! I can never get enough of you!”

“Wanna hear you fucking say it, Andy! Need to hear you say it,” you whine pathetically as your hands grip the door.

“I fucking love you, baby,” he moans as you clench around him.

“Shit!”

“Such a good girl,” he grins as you arch your back against the door. “You take this cock so well!”

“Andy please! I’m so...I’m so fucking close!”

“You know what I want from you, Sweetheart,” he taunts as he grips your hips tight, his thrusts coming faster, harder, and more erratic.

“Yes, yes, YES!” you cry out, cumming hard for him, one of your hands gripping his shoulder as you dig your nails into it.

“Fuck Sweetheart!” he exclaims, shooting his load into you.

You both stay that was for a moment trying to come down from your highs.

“I think it’s time we head back,” Andy laughs softly as he lets you down slowly.

“Mhm, I think so too.”

“I hope you’re not tired, because I’m about to keep you up all night.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” you grin mischievously.

You both quickly make your way back out and Andy’s quick to settle the bill. The entire ride down the elevator, you two can’t keep your hands off of each other.

That’s when an idea pops into your head.

“How good of a driver do you think you are?” you question as you take your panties off.

“Pretty fuckin’ good,” he smirks as he starts the engine.

“Wanna show me just how good you are?”

“Sweetheart-”

“I don’t wanna wait, Daddy. Want you to love me right here and right now,” you moan as you straddle him.

“Nothing but trouble,” he husks as you undo the button on his shorts and work them off of him. “And if someone sees?”

“They’re welcome,” you shrug as you start to stroke him.

“Fucking firecracker,” he groans as you bite and suck on his neck.

“Just keep your eyes on the road and enjoy the ride, Daddy,” you moan as you sink yourself down onto him.

“Fuck Y/N!” he moans as he pulls off.

You do your best to keep your head to the side of him as he drives, but Andy makes you look at him every time you two come to a stop light. You’ve never seen him so desperate and it makes you feral.

“So fucking close!” you whine into his ear, your nails digging into his shoulder.

“You better not fucking cum until we get home!” he demands, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“Andy!”

“You wanted to be a little slut and now you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Cum before we get home and you’re gonna be sorry!”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you cry, trying to fight off your release. “I don’t think I can, baby!”

“We’re almost there, Sweetheart”

“You feel too fucking good, Andy! You always feel too...fuck!” you cry out, cumming hard on his cock.

“Oh Sweetheart, you don’t know just how much punishment you’re in for tonight,” he chuckles darkly as he pulls up to the house.

“I almost made it!”

“Almost doesn’t count.”

“Andy-”

“I don’t wanna hear it. Get that sexy little ass inside that house and wait for instructions.”

“Can I at least suck you clean?”

“No, because bad girls don’t get rewarded.”

“Please Daddy?”

“In the house, now,” he demands with a strained voice and you can tell that he’s doing all he can to keep together.

Andy shows no mercy when he finally gets in the house and gets his hands on you. He ties to you to the bed and settles a vibrator between your legs, telling you that you need to learn how to control yourself.

After the cumming for the 4th time, you’re so desperate and pathetic for him.

“Andy please!” you cry out as you try to recover from your high.

“The next time I tell you to fucking wait, will you?”

“Andy, I swear to God that I’ll do anything that you say. I will be such a good girl, I fucking promise.”

“You’re a dirty little liar” he chuckles as he unties you “but I need to be deep inside you,’ he mumbles as he gets on the bed. “I need to feel how much you love me.”

“I’m all yours,” you smile up at him as your hand traces over his broad chest. “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too, Angel,” he groans as he thrusts himself inside of you.

Andy loves you until the sunrise, picking every position he knows you love and that will send you into a mind shattering orgasm time after time. You don’t even remember falling asleep, but when you wake up, a small smile comes to your face, remembering all the love you and Andy made the night before, the promises made, and the love that was felt.

You slowly and quietly sneak out of bed, not wanting to disturb Andy, putting on his boxers and AC/DC shirt, before sneaking into the backyard and taking a seat by the pool. As you soak your feet, you think back to the night that Laurie showed up to your apartment, unannounced and unwelcome.

“You have no right to be here!” Andy shouted as he steps in front of you. “We’re divorced and there’s no-”

“You’re really housing a whore,” Laurie laughed incredulously as she looked you over. “You really left me for her?”

“She’s more of a woman than you’ll ever be!”

“Yet you still defend me when Jacob thinks I don’t care?”

“He’s our son, Laurie. Whatever I feel towards you, shouldn’t reflect the way he treats you. Don’t take it as a fucking term of endearment.”

“This isn’t gonna last, Andy. She’s young and you’re just looking for a good time-”

“It’s time for you to go, you’ve worn out your welcome,” you bit as you stepped in front of Andy, not liking how angry and frustrated he was getting.

“You think you know him? Understand him? You’ve heard about a few arguments and-”

“I know enough to know that he deserves better than you. Maybe I am just a notch in his belt on his way to something better, but that’s still better than him attaching himself to someone who clearly has her own interest at heart.”

“He’s never gonna make it work with you.”

“Well, here’s to hoping you’re wrong,” you snipped. “You need to go. Now,” you warned, not wanting to show any weakness as she holds your glare.

She looked as if she’s about to say something, before huffing and leaving.

“Are you okay?” you asked almost instantly when the door closed.

“Y/N-”

“Are you okay?” you repeated, making your way over to him.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yes I did. She was making you uncomfortable and unhappy. I wasn’t gonna let her talk to you.”

“Sweetheart-”

“Are you okay, Andy?”

“I have you. I’m perfect,” he smiles softly.

You replay that moment over and over in your head, trying to tell yourself that everything between you and Andy is genuine. It would be so much easier to write this all off as lust if you didn’t know Andy the way you do. If you didn’t know his love language. Sure, you and him have mind blowing sex (that’s how all of this got started), but they’re moments when you can see just how much he genuinely cares for you. The late night drives with the windows down and music blasting, the both of you singing at the top of your lungs. Game night, movie night, when he holds you when you randomly start crying over your Mother and how much you miss her, when he joins you in your dance parties that you have in your room so you don’t disturb him, the fact that he still thinks you’re gorgeous when you’re in sweats and shoveling Ben and Jerry’s down your throat, the way he indulges in sappy black and white romance movies...

The way he loves you.

If you’re being honest with yourself, you’re terrified of going back home too. There’s a big part of you that believes that Andy won’t be able to be the same guy he is now when you both return, and that has your heart breaking. Because what happens if he isn’t? Do you stay and make excuses? Do you walk away and move on? Do you beg him to be better because you know he can be? Do you just hate him?

As all of these questions and more roll around in your head, you don’t even notice the tears that start to fall.

“Hey, what’s wrong, Sweetheart?” Andy asks softly, causing you to jump, as he takes a seat next to you.

“I didn’t know you were awake,” you sniffle softly, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand.

“I always wake up when you get out of bed. When you didn’t come back after 5 minutes, I knew you were up for the day.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, nothing. It’s so fucking stupid. I’m so fucking stupid.”

“Baby, talk to me.”

“I just love you so much, Andy. God, I hate how much I love you and how stupid it makes me, but I don’t want it to change. I don’t want us to change. Jesus, of all the times to have a breakdown,” you laugh humorlessly.

“What happened, Sweetheart?”

“I just keep thinking about what will happen when we go back home and I really don’t fucking want to.”

“Y/N-”

“I want to be with you, Andy. I’ve never wanted anything so bad, but I’m terrified. I tried to tell myself that it’s just the sex and I can walk away any time I want, but that’s been bullshit from the start. Then, I told myself I stayed because I like being taken care of. It’s been so long and I’ve worked hard, but when I really think about it, we take care of each other. Yeah, you pay my rent, but I hold you when you cry, I cook for you, I sit and listen when you vent, I hold you when you’re overwhelmed....I do all of that and more, and it’s not because you pay for a place for me to live. I’d do all of the things I do for you now whether or not you paid for a single fucking thing. Why? Because I love you. Whether its the smart choice or not, I fucking love you with every thing I have in me. I’ve never loved anyone like this and I’m scared, because what happens if we can’t make this work? What happens if I’m not enough? What happens if you decide you truly don’t want a relationship?”

“Sweetheart-”

“This is all so fucking stupid. I’m so sorry,” you sob, wiping your eyes.

“Stop that, this isn’t stupid at all and I want you to talk to me. I want to know how you feel.”

“I’m being dramatic.”

“No you aren’t. I told you yesterday that I’m afraid that I’m gonna fuck this up. When I could lie to myself and tell myself this was just sex, it was fine. We’re so much farther than that now and I truly want to give you the world. I want to be the man you deserve. The man you need. I’m never going to be worthy of your love, but I’m trying and I promise to always try. Don’t feel stupid for having a rational fear. A fear you have because of me.”

“Andy-”

“You don’t need to say it isn’t my fault, because we both know it is,” he sighs, pulling you onto his lap. “Listen, like you said, we’re gonna figure this out, but we have to take it step by step. Don’t bottle up your feelings and hide them, cause that’s not gonna get us far. I want to know how you’re feeling, where you’re at with all of this, and what you’re afraid of. I tell you everything and you tell me everything, deal?”

All you do is nod softly.

“Oh my sweet girl,” Andy mutters into your hair before kissing it. “My sweet sweet girl, how I love you so.”

For the rest of the trip, you both try to focus on the enjoying the time you have together. That doesn’t mean neither one of you don’t have your fair share of breakdowns, but you’re both quicker to come back from them. The rest of the trip is filled with adventures, late night movies, love making, trying to new foods and drinks, learning as much about the island as you can, and site seeing. You’re both happy, carefree, content, and for a moment you really think you two have a shot in hell.

“I don’t wanna go back tomorrow,” you sigh, laying your head on Andy’s bare chest, making little circles on it with your finger.

“Me neither, Sweetheart. This has been heaven. Lets just extend the trip,” he chuckles and you roll your eyes.

“If only. I could stay here with you forever. Just like this,” you smile up at him, taking in his gorgeous facial features. You chuckle at the little bits of gray in his beard and he cocks an eyebrow. “You’re 42nd birthday is next month.”

“You watch your filthy little mouth,” he groans as burst out laughing. “How am I 42 already?”

“It’s better than the alternative.”

“I suppose your right,” he mutters, laying back on the grass. “You don’t make me feel 42.”

“That’s because you’re a big dumb teenager,” he tease as he chuckles. “What do you wanna do?”

“Well, I know the guys wanna go out, but I’d really rather not bring you around them.”

“What? Ashamed of me?”

“Guess how funny that isn’t?”

“I’m just saying,” you shrug, suddenly feeling very insecure and small. “It’s not like they don’t know how we met, and you all run with an entirely different crowd-”

“Hey, stop it right now,” he chides softly, propping himself up on his shoulders as you sit up. “How could you even think that? Yeah, we met at a Gentlemen’s Club, but who the fuck cares? If you think I should be ashamed of you because you work there, then you should be ashamed of me for being the guy who went there all the time. Don’t ever belittle yourself, especially over myself asshole friends,” he states as he takes your face in his hands. “I’m so fucking happy you love me and I could never be ashamed of you. If anything, I don’t want you around my friends because I’m ashamed of them. The way they’ve spoken to you...I wanna keep you as far from them as possible. I kinda just want us to do something. I’d love to include Jacob, but he’s away at school, so something simple and fun would be perfect. Just you and me,” he smiles as he strokes your cheek softly.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“I’ll see what I can come up with,” you smirk as you settle yourself in his lap. “I love you.”

“I love you...hey, would you wanna live here?” he questions as he tenses a little.

“Hmm?”

“Would you wanna live here, with me?”

“What are you getting at, Andy?”

“If we’re able to make this work, if I can get my shit together, would you wanna live here? In this house with me?”

You can’t stop yourself from lunging forward and kissing him deeply as he chuckles softy, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you as close as possible. “You really want that with me?” you ask breathlessly.

“In about 2 years time, I’ll have more than enough to take care of you-”

“Andy, you don’t have to-”

“I want to, Sweetheart. I’ll always want to take care of you. You can work if you really want to, but know that you don’t have to if you don’t want to. You’ll never need or want for anything.”

“How’d I get so lucky?”

“Guess you’re God’s favorite,” he smirks before pulling you close for another kiss.

You both spend the rest of the day rolling around in the grass, making plans, and making love before deciding that you both need to pack before going to bed. That night Andy holds you close, as if he’s afraid you won’t be there in the morning, and peppers soft kisses all over your neck and shoulder, silently telling you ‘I love you so much’ before you both drift off to sleep.

During the ride back the next day, you know he can sense the dread hanging in the air, but all he does is rub the back of your hand reassuringly as he drives you both to the airport. They’re no spontaneous sexcapades on during the flight home, just exchanged glances and small smiles. You want to believe you two can make it work. You feel like you two have already been through so much that there isn’t anything you two can’t handle together.

But you also know Andy and his anxiety.

“Do you want me to stay over tonight?” Andy asks once he pulls up to your apartment.

“Do you want to?”

“You know I do...”

“But?”

“I just need a few days to reset, that’s all,” he promises softly.

You force down the lump in your throat before smiling weakly and nodding. “I guess I’ll see you in a few days.”

“Hey, I meant everything I said in Hawaii. I’m going to do my best to get my shit together. It’s just that we’re back home now and I need to wrap my head around a few things. I’m not changing my mind or taking back anything that I said. Just give me a few days, okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Sweetheart, I love you,” he sighs sincerely. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Andy. More than you know,” you smile softly before taking his face in your hands and kissing him deeply. “I’ll see you in a few days,” you all but mumble before getting out of the car and getting your bags out of his backseat.

You hear his heavy sigh and you know he feels bad, but you have to trust that he knows what he’s doing, even if you’re completely in the dark about it. The moment you get into your bedroom, you drop your bags and get into before bursting out into tears. You don’t even know why you’re reacting this way. He’s not saying he wants to go back to the way things were, but you thought you two had made enough improvement for him at least want to spend more time with you.

‘He said he just needs a few days, Y/N. You’ve gotta stop over thinking things or you’ll drive the both of you crazy,’ you mentally tell yourself as you try to calm down.

The first two days are hell and you can’t remember the last time you felt so alone. Maybe when you’re Mother died, but that was a completely different type of pain. It doesn’t help that you can’t put off your lunch date with your Father any longer.

“Hey Baby Doll,” he smiles up at you as you take a seat at the table of the restaurant he’s chosen.

“Father.”

“You can’t even pretend to be a little excited to see me?”

“Well, since all of the shit you pulled with Mom, I promised myself that I would never lie. So no,” you smile as the waiter comes and asks for your drink order. “A Jack and Coke, please,” you smile with a slight nod before he walks away.

“It’s 1pm, Baby Doll.”

“I’m gonna need it to get through this.”

“You hate me that much?”

“I don’t hate you, I just want nothing to do with you. God, why do you even want to do this? You didn’t give two shits about me or Mom until she got sick, and now-”

“That’s not true. I love you so much-”

“Not enough for you stick around and be a better husband or Father. Not enough to encourage Vivian to make things right with Mom sooner.”

“Things were complicated, Y/N,” he sighs as you roll your eyes. “I don’t expect you to understand because I hurt you. I hurt you and your Mother-”

“There’s nothing to understand! You’re a fucking liar and a cheater at the end of the day. That’s really all there is. I’m the one who had to hear her cry for you over and over again, praying to God for you to come back-”

“I thought that’s what I wanted, Honey. I couldn’t see myself being a good husband or Father so i just ended up leaving. Almost as soon as I left, I regretted it, but how could I come back? There was nothing I could do to make it right by any of you, so I forced myself to stay away. Then when Vivian still made the effort to have me in her life, I was too much of a coward to tell her not to be angry with your Mother. Having one of you was better than having none of you. Then, when she got sick, I...I wanted to be there for her. For you.”

“We didn’t need you, it’s not like you paid for anything or helped take care of her at all.”

“Yeah, you need no help from me at all,” he scoffs as your drinks arrive. “Your sister told me all about your job.”

“Jesus Christ,” you mutter before taking a sip of your drink and looking up at the waiter. “Please keep them coming,” you smile and he just offers a sympathetic nod before walking away.”Tread lightly.”

“You may hate me, but I still have a right to disapprove,”

“I don’t give a fuck about your approval, in case that hasn’t seemed to come across your mind yet.”

“You’re still my child-”

“No, I’m a grown ass woman. You lost the right to tell me how to live my life when you walked out the fucking door.”

“No parent wants their child sleeping with other people for money.”

“1. No parent just fucking walks out on their kid unless they’re a complete and total dickhead. 2. I’m not sleeping with them, I guess Tweedle-Dee decided to leave that part out.”

“She said there’s one guy-”

“One guy and it’s not like that. It’s...complicated,” you sigh before finishing off your drink. “It’s complicated and I don’t wanna talk about it. At least not with you.”

“Does he love you? Do you trust him?”

“What part of ‘I don’t wanna talk about it with you’ did you not get?”

“You need to make sure that he truly wants and loves you. You met him at this place you work at? I’m assuming he’s older than you, am I right?” Your silence has him scoffing as the waiter brings you another drink. “I thought so.”

“You don’t know shit.”

“I know enough.”

“You don’t know that the last day Mom was alive, he spent the whole day with us because it made her happy. You don’t know that he was the one who woke me up the next day to tell me the news and when I couldn’t get myself together, he was the one to call everyone and set everything up. You don’t know that hes been there for me every day since. You don’t know shit so stop acting like you do.”

“If he’s so damn great, why wasn’t he at the funeral?”

“He was at the funeral. Unlike your little wife, he didn’t wanna make a spectacle of himself.”

“He could’ve at least been by your side at the repast.”

“Just because you didn’t see him, doesn’t mean he wasn’t there.”

“Why the secrecy?”

“Cause it’s no one’s fucking business!” you snap. You’re not a fan of the disproving scowl your Father gives you before shaking his head. “What?”

“He’s someone important, isn’t he? Someone who can’t be seen with a person that does what you do.”

“Why would you-”

“Vivian told me where you work and I know the crowd that frequents there. A bunch of shady assholes, who have a lot of power and a lot of money.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Baby Doll-”

“We’re done talking about this,” you state firmly.

Your Father lets out a mournful sigh before downing all of his drink. “I’m the last person to tell you how to live your life or what decisions to make, but I really do hope that I’m wrong about this man. I know you don’t believe me when I say it, but I really do want you to be happy. I want you to find a man that’s good for you and good to you. No matter what, I will always love you and I’ll always try to be there for you. Whether you want me to be or not,” he finishes sincerely with a sad and soft smile.

“Well, as wonderful as that is to hear, I’m fine and you and your little minion need to stay out of business that doesn’t concern either one of you.”

“Are we ever gonna get to a point where you and I have some sort of a relationship?”

“I don’t know,” you sigh mumble before picking up your drink and taking a sip. “I just don’t know.”

The rest of the lunch is spent in silence and against your better judgment (and the fact that you’re insanely stubborn), you take yourself home. The minute you’re back inside your still empty apartment, you kick off your jeans and fish your phone out of your back pocket.

Still no text or call from Andy.

However, there are two texts from Vivian.

Devil Child: Dad told me you refused to let him drive you home. Please let me know when you’re home safe.

Devil Child: I know you hate me, but please answer me.

You shake your head and chuckle humorlessly before responding.

Y/N: Hey, you know what isn’t a good idea? Telling the one person I can’t stand more than you about my job. Leave me alone and stay out of it.

Devil Child: He’s our Father, Y/N. He has a right to know.

Y/N: Do you think before you speak? He doesn’t have a right to shit. NEITHER OF YOU have a right to anything.

Devil Child: We’re all each other have at this point, Y/N. You can’t keep hating us.

Y/N: Just because I want nothing to with you, doesn’t mean I hate you. I just have no need or desire to bullshit around with you.

Devil Child: Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.

Y/N: Yeah and I don’t care.

You toss your phone on your nightstand before pulling off your shirt and pulling on one of Andy’s ‘Boston University’ sweatshirts and getting under the covers.

You hate this. You hate being so dependent on someone who’s still having such a hard time trusting you. This isn’t you. You’ve never let anyone have control over your feelings like this, and you promised yourself that you never would, but here you are. In bed, crying over a brokenhearted grown man and waiting for him to make the next move for the both of you.

It’s not like you ever put up much of a fight about it.

“Jesus Andy, don’t start this shit again,” you muttered as you got dressed. “Your jealousy is out of control and for fucking what?”

“Sweetheart-”

“Seriously Andy, what’s the fucking reason for it? No other man can look at me, but you can still sleep with whatever woman you here? What fucking sense does that make? How is that fair?”

“Is there someone else here you wanna sleep with?”

“How the fuck is that what you just took away from what I just said?! You know what? Fuck you, I’m not doing this with you tonight. Go get buried in someone else’s cunt and call me when your temper tantrum is over,” you bit, grabbing your bag and leaving the room.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?!” he questioned angrily, walking after you.

“Why do you need to know?”

“Don’t play this game with me tonight,” he warned hotly, following you into the elevator.

“Play what game? The game you play with me literally every fucking day? ‘Will he or won’t he come home to me? Will or won’t he fuck someone else?’ Those games?” you questioned with a humorless laugh. “It fucking hurts to think that you possibly couldn’t be the only one, right?”

“Y/N-”

“Ya know what? Maybe I’ll go to a club and bring a guy home with me. Better yet, maybe I’ll just find someone here to fuck,” you shrugged as you both got off of the elevator. “It’s not like we both don’t know how much all the guys here wanna fuck me. Maybe they can take me off your hands for a while,” you scoffed, finally turning to face him. His fists were balled and you could tell that he was using all of his energy to not lose it on you. “Now you have a slight idea of how I feel, Andy. Fucking hurts doesn’t it?”

You rolled your eyes as his just softened a bit.

“I’m going home, Andy. I’m over this shit and I’m over you,” you huffed before storming out.

You made it to the front of your car, before you felt Andy hand on your wrist, pulling you to a stop.

“What fuck-” was all you were able to get out before his lips crashed against yours. His arms snaked around your waist and instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck.

God, you two were so fucking toxic.

“Andy,” you breathed out as you two broke apart.

“Over me? Oh Sweetheart, you’ll never be over me, just like I’ll never be over you,” he husked as one of his hands traveled up your skirt.

“Fuck!”

“You know what it is? You know what I really think is pissing you off?” he continued to taunt as he ripped your panties off. “I think it’s because you want me to show everyone just how addicted we are to one another.”

“Don’t,” you warned pathetically. “Fuck!” you moaned as he started to finger you.

“You sure you don’t wanna give em a show? The way this tight little cunt is responding to me, it seems like you want everyone to see just how addicted I am to you. How much I’ll never be able to quit you,” whispered hotly against your ear before licking the shell of it.

Your hands were moving faster than your brain. The emotional and vulnerable parts of you were completely drowning out the logical and rational parts of you. You were undoing his pants as fast as you could and whined in protest when he removed his fingers, but he was quick to grip your ass and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist as he hoisted you up.

You lulled your head back and moaned in pleasure as you felt him thrust himself inside of you.

‘Guess the secret’s out now,’ you thought to yourself as your back hit the hood of your car and Andy starts thrusting into you relentlessly.

“You know why I get jealous, Sweetheart,” he grunted, not slowing up at all, finally meeting your gaze. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“I fucking hate you, Andy,” you moaned, tears brimming in your eyes from the pleasure you were feeling, and the pain in your heart.

“I know you do, Sweetheart. And you have every right to.”

It’s not like you could be mad at him for the position you found yourself in. You were all too willing to let him fuck you in front of everyone, because you were just as sick and stupid as he was. You wanted the girls to see how much he desired and worshiped you, just like he wanted to guys to see how desperate and in love you were with him. You both wanted everyone to see just how much you two belonged to one another.

Andy didn’t give a single fuck about his career and you didn’t give a shit about what your friends and coworkers would think of you. All that mattered was each other and proving a point. Even without saying the dreaded phrase, you two made it known just how truly, stupidly, deeply, and madly in love you were with one another.

“Andy...Andy!” you mewled, clawing at his back, as he started biting and sucking on your neck. You felt your toes curl inside your shoes and you knew you weren’t gonna last long.

“Yeah Sweetheart? That close for me already?” he smirked looking down at you at you.

“Too fucking good! I can’t...I can’t...shit!”

“Give it to me, Sweetheart. You know what Daddy wants,” he husked, as his grip on your waist got tighter in the most painfully pleasurable way.

“Fuck!” you cried out, cumming hard for him, your brain feeling foggy from your euphoric high.

“Such a good girl for me,” he grunted before pulling out and getting on his knees.

“What-Andy!” you whimpered as you felt his tongue on your clit. “Oh my God!”

You tried to close your legs, but he wasn’t having it. He used one hand to push one of your legs to the side, while using three of his fingers on his other hand to fuck you. The only thing Andy let you do was hold on for the ride. You gripped his hair tight as you were grinding yourself against him, your brain completely too fucked out to allow anything other than moans and cries to leave your lips. All Andy did was grunt in approval as he continued his assault between your legs, and you knew he wasn’t gonna stop until you were a complete puddle on the hood of your car.

“Gonna...gonna cum! Fuck!” you cried out, your orgasm washing over you hard, as your body went limp.

Andy stayed on his knees, cleaning up the mess you made for him, as you tried to comprehend what the fuck had just happened. Why were you two so toxic? Why couldn’t either of you just make a decision and fucking stick with it? Why the fuck did you have to fall in love with him? Why couldn’t you stop?

“You okay, baby?” Andy asked softly, slowly pulling you out of your thoughts, as he peppered kisses up and down your neck.

“People...people saw,” was all you could think to say, still too fucked out to really put a real thought together.

“That was the point, Sweetheart. Don’t want there to be anymore fucking confusion for anyone anymore.”

“You didn’t cum.”

“Oh, I’m gonna when we get back home,” he smirked, helping you sit up right.

You said nothing as you tried to regain your balance, picking up your bag and fishing out your car keys. “You’re driving home,” was all you said before making your way to the passenger side.

That weekend, you and Andy stayed hold up in your apartment, making love and arguing. Never reaching a resolution but still never quitting each other.

From that day on, guys stopped approaching you and women stopped approaching you. Hell, half of them asked you if it was okay for them to fuck him.

At the time, it felt like a win, like you two were headed in the right now, but as you sit in your bed, you keep being at war with yourself. Why does he need so much time? Why hadn’t you two just just stayed in Hawaii. You call out of work for the next two days and just settle in, allowing yourself until you fall asleep.

By the middle of the next day, you’ve hit the drinking part of your depression.

You would have thought hearing the door open and close would have made you happy, but you’re just numb.

“Sweetheart?” Andy calls from the kitchen, throwing his keys down on the counter top.

“What?” you counter, taking a sip of your whiskey, still flipping through channels for something to barely pay attention to.

You hear him sigh before he slowly makes his way to the bedroom door. “Sam told me you called out for the next few days. What’s going on?”

“Didn’t wanna risk seeing you go off with one of the other girls.”

“Sweetheart, I told you I’m done with that.”

“Yeah well, you’ve radio silent since we got back, so maybe something changed. Maybe you found someone younger-”

“Y/N, that’s not fair and it’s a low blow,” he quickly interrupts, and you can tell you’ve really hurt him.

You sigh before throwing down the remote and finally turning your attention to him. “I’m sorry.”

“What happened? I knew you’d be upset, but I didn’t think you’d get this mad at me.”

“I had lunch with my Father and fucking Vivian told him about what I do for a living, and you came up. Not by name, but he’s aware of how we met.”

“You listened to your Father of all-”

“You haven’t said a thing to me since you dropped me off here,” you quickly defend, getting irritated with his annoyance.

“I told you, I just needed some time to sort shit out.”

“When don’t you?”

“Y/N-”

“Are you staying over tonight?” you interrupt, not wanting to ruin the buzz you have.

“Do you want me to?”

“When don’t I want you to?”

“Come here, Angel,” he smiles softly.

You’re slow to get up and make your way over to him, but the minute his arms wrap around your waist, you wrap your legs around his and your arms around his neck.

You’re finally home.

“I missed you,” he whispers softly before pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder.

“Did you really?”

“There wasn’t a second that I wasn’t thinking about you.”

“I love you, Andy.”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

“Are you finally ready to really be together?”

“I’m getting there, I swear. I just needed time to re-think everything and get myself away from...those thoughts. Hawaii was perfect, you’re perfect, and I love you more than I can express.”

“Andy-”

“I know, I’ve asked for so much more than I deserve. I keep asking for more than I deserve. Please, just a little bit more patience,” he begs softly.

“I’m hungry,” you respond softly, not wanting to make yourself any more upset.

“That doesn’t surprise me. Have you showered today?”

“No.”

“Lets shower first then I’ll order something.”

“I can pay for my own food.”

“Don’t start. I want to do this.”

“You wanna be everything but commit to me.”

“Y/N-”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That was mean.”

“I deserved it.”

“You said we’re gonna shower-”

“Not in the way you think, Angel,” he chuckles, his hold on you tightening a little as he starts to make his way towards the bathroom.

“Why not?” you groan, as chuckles a little harder.

“1. You’re drunk-”

“I’m buzzed, not drunk.”

“Fine, you’re buzzed. 2. We can’t keep fucking to keep from arguing, it’s not healthy.”

“Nothing about us is healthy,” you shrug as he gently sets you down.

“I want that to change, Y/N,” he says with all sincerity as he turns the water on. “If we’re gonna do this, really do this, then things can’t keep being as turbulent as they are. It’s not lost on me that it’s more my fault than yours, but still. I want this to be a real relationship, Angel. I want to be the man you deserve.”

You can’t stop the stupid smile that spreads across your face.

“What?” he laughs.

“You love me!” you squeal, running in place a little.

“It’s about time it clicked for you,” he laughs as he checks the water. “I think it’s ready.”

You’re both out of your clothes almost instantly and quickly make your way into the shower. A small smile comes to your faces as the water hits your skin; Andy’s always been the best at paying attention to what you love.

Andy lathers up your soap on your loofah before slowly spreading it around your shoulders, while kissing from your forehead to your cheek.

“I love you,” he whispers softly as he slowly gets to his knees, lathering up the rest of you.

“Andy, you don’t have to.”

“Just let me,” he begs softly.

It’s funny to you, how a simple gesture can make your heart light up for him. He takes his time lathering you up all over before placing you directly under the shower head. You take your time, letting the water wash away all of the soap, pain, and heartache you’ve been feeling over the last few days.

Andy cups your face in his hands as he steps under the shower with you, kissing you deeply as you wrap your arms around.

Finally, everything feels as it should.

You finally feel like you two are truly on the track you’re meant to be on. You both spend that night cuddled up on the couch, watching an ‘The Office’ marathon until you both fall asleep.

When you awake the next morning, it’s to the feeling of him placing small kisses up and down your cheek, telling you that he’ll see you after work.

“Stay home,” you whine, turning over and pulling his arm close to you.

“I wish I could,” he chuckles softly. “I promise I’ll be back tonight though. I love you.”

“I love you.”

For the first two weeks, that’s how everything went. There was barely ever a time when he wasn’t with you. The only time he stays at his own place is when he stays late for work and even then, he talks himself into coming over because he doesn’t wanna be without you.

The love making is 10x’s more amazing, there’s more trust, understanding, love, and openness. Andy’s more vocal about his fears which makes it easier for you to be more vocal about your frustrations. He more open with you which makes it easier for you to figure out what he actually needs instead of just what he wants. Yeah, you two have your little arguments from time to time, but (in a way) it makes it that much easier to pursue the relationship you two want, and it feels like a dream.

Yes, everything is picture perfect until Jacob’s birthday dinner.

“You both came,” Jacob beams, wrapping his arms around Andy first before hugging you just as tight.

“It’s nice to see you both again,” Sarah smiles shyly, waving a little.

“It’s good to see you again too,” you smile, wrapping her in a hug just as tight as you gave Jacob moments ago. “We should head inside,” you smile at Jacob who frowns in response. “Ah shit, what’s wrong?”

“So...” Jacob starts softly “Mom’s inside.”

“Jacob!” Andy groans as you grab his hand to try and soothe the irritation you both feel. “You should’ve-”

“I know, but I wanted to see you. I wanted to see all of you,” he smiles towards you. “She said she’ll be on her best behavior.”

“How many glasses of wine ago was that?” Andy questions, looking into the restaurant; spotting his ex-wife filling her glass with what’s left of the wine bottle.

“Maybe 4?” Jacob shrugs, following his Father’s gaze. “Listen, I know that her resentment on all of us is my-”

“Don’t you dare,” Andy quickly interrupts. “Her resentment is on her. You were rightfully proven innocent, and my secrets were mine to keep. She made her choices and now she has to deal with them. Don’t blame yourself for one second, Bud,” Andy smiles reassuringly at Jacob, taking his side profile in his hand. “It’s your birthday and we’re gonna have a great time no matter what.”

“Dad, if you want to-”

“I wanna stick to the plan, Jacob,” Andy smiles reassuringly at his son.

So, you all put on your brave faces and made your way inside, as you do your best to drown out your insecurities as Laurie and Andy embrace in a brief hug. However, the look on his face tells you that it means more to him than he wants to admit.

He misses her and that breaks your heart.

You do your best to ignore the pain you feel by downing drinks and making small talks with Sarah. You’re perfectly fine until Laurie decides to question your relationship with Andy.

“I really didn’t think he’d bring you tonight,” Laurie scoffs towards you before finishing off her 6th glass of wine. “How’d you talk him into it with your job?”

“I know how much she and Jacob get along, so I wanted her here. No more and no less,” Andy snaps, keeping his eyes on the lit candle in front of him.

“What’s your job?” Jacob mindlessly asks, digging into his plate of chicken penne vodka.

“I waitress,” you quickly clarify, grabbing your own glass of whiskey and almost downing it.

“I don’t see what’s so wrong with waitressing, Mom. Sarah waitresses,” Jacob defends as his gaze lands back on his Mother.

“She just doesn’t seem like the type of woman he’d fall for,” Laurie smiles innocently, before shoveling angel hair pasta into her mouth. “Ignore me.”

“I’m really happy you came, Y/N. My dad is always in a better mood when you’re around,” Jacob smiles sweetly towards you.

You know he means well but you can tell that’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

“How long have you two been together?” Laurie presses as you see Andy’s grip tighten on his fork from the corner of your eye.

“We’re just hanging out.”

“You mean, having fun?”

“He means that we’re falling in love and having fun while figuring it out,” you practically snap as Andy clears his throat.

“Mom, you said you wouldn’t do this tonight,” Jacob grumbles, throwing down his fork.

“I’m sorry, but I just don’t see how this is ever gonna work,” she laughs incredulously. “What are you? 22? 23? You know her looks are gonna fade, Andy. She’s either gonna get too old or the money is gonna dry up, but no matter what, she’s gonna leave you!”

“I think that’s enough now,” you warn, not liking how anxious Andy is getting. “You know don’t know anything about anything, so I suggest you quit while you’re ahead.”

“Oh, I know more than you think. I know Andy. He’s never gonna commit to you because he’s still in love with me. You thought your little trip to Hawaii would change things?”

“That’s enough, Laurie,” Andy warns, his anger starting to show itself.

“The hell it is! You can’t even bring yourself to call her your girlfriend! What is this? High School?”

“Laurie, it’s Jacob’s birthday!” you snap, slamming your hand down on the table, causing everyone to jump. “Whatever issues you have with me, for whatever reason, this is neither the time or place to settle it. So, I suggest you stop drinking and focus on the food in front of you. If you’re incapable of doing that, I suggest you leave.”

“You think you can-”

“I just did. You’re unhappiness is your own doing. I’m not going to sit here and let you belittle me because you couldn’t decide on what you wanted. Andy loved you, you messed it up, and now he’s trying to move on. That’s it. Your little outburst isn’t going to change anything, so I suggest you shut the fuck up about it or head home,” you finish, eyebrow cocked as you clench your firsts.

Laurie looks from you to Andy before finishing her drink, grabbing her purse, and storming out.

“Jesus,” Andy mutters, throwing down his fork. “She shouldn’t be driving. Let me get her a service.”

“Dad-”

“I’ll be right back, Buddy. Everything is fine,” he smiles reassuringly at his son before running after Laurie.

“I’m so sorry-”

“It’s fine, Jacob,” you smile weakly. “It was bound to happen at some point. It’s fine.”

You and Andy do you your best to salvage what’s left of the night, but the damage is done. When all is said and done, you all awkwardly say goodnight to one another and you and Andy start on the trip home.

“I’m so sorry about that, Angel-”

“Please don’t apologize for her actions. You can’t control-”

“I should’ve known better,” he sighs as you two come to a stop light.

You look at his demeanor and notice how hard he’s gripping the wheel. You know her words got to him, but you aren’t sure just how much.

“What’s wrong, Andy?”

“After all that-”

“Don’t. I know you too well, so please don’t.”

“I don’t wanna argue with you too.”

“Then talk to me. We’ve been doing so good.”

“Sweetheart-”

“Don’t start shutting me out. It only gets us right back to where we started,” you beg. His silence only sets your nerves off, so you start pressing. “While you were away from me, did you see her?”

“Can we please not do this?”

“So you did,” you scoff, looking out the widow. “God, I’m such a fucking idiot!”

“I swear, nothing happened. We just talked.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Because I didn’t wanna make you upset!”

“You’re not that fucking stupid, Andy! You had to know she’d bring it up at some point! Whether it was tonight or 6 Christmas’ later, she was bound to bring it up!”

“Listen, we had dinner, talked, cried, argued, and that was that. Yes, I told her that I still love and think about her, but I also told her that it’s time for me to let her go. I can’t be with you and still hold on to her. I told her that I’m happy with you, I love you, and that I’m moving on. She said she’d respect that and wished me all the best.”

“Yeah, cause that’s going so fucking well.”

“Sweetheart, what do you want from me? I’m being honest with you!”

“No, you being honest with me would’ve been you telling me all of shit when you first came home!”

“Yeah, because you were in such a good mood to hear it.”

“Fuck you!”

“What? What can I do to fix this? To make you happy? You wanna go away again? You want a-”

“Don’t fucking try to buy my forgiveness!” you snap. “What else do I need to do to show you that I don’t want your fucking money?!”

“You were all too happy to take it when I met you, and you enjoyed it plenty when we went to Hawaii,” he mutters, pulling up to your apartment and turning off the engine.

“You’re such a fucking asshole, I swear to Christ,” you mumble, wiping away the few tears that you accidentally let slip. “You know what? Don’t do a single fucking thing for me anymore! Don’t pay my rent, don’t take me out, don’t-”

“Sweetheart stop it. I didn’t mean it-”

“No, go fuck yourself, Andy! I’m not doing this shit all over again! I’m not her! I didn’t fucking hurt you!”

“Can we please just-”

“No! I don’t wanna see you! I don’t wanna be with you! How fucking stupid am I?! I keep doing this dance with you and I’m fucking tired of it! Tired of you!” you scream before getting out of the car and slamming the door shut. “I’m done!”

“Don’t,” he warns, getting and slamming the door shut behind. “Don’t you dare fucking say that!”

“I mean it, Andy! I’m over all this shit! I’m so fucking terrible? I’m some fucking leach?! Then don’t fucking be with me! Go be with Laurie or Mary! I don’t give a shit!” you yell as you get inside the complex.

You can feel the stares of your neighbors as you furiously push the ‘Up’ button for the elevator, but you don’t care. You’ve had enough and you deserve better. As you you step inside the elevator, your tears start to come harder as the pain in your heart becomes more and more evident. But you need to do this.

You need to quit Andy.

“You think you can just walk out on me?” Andy questions darkly, slipping into the elevator right before the door closes.

“Stop it, Andy. We’re done. Whatever the fuck this is, it’s done!”

“We’re not ever done, Sweetheart,” he states as he presses your back against the wall. “You think you can just throw us away? You think my love is something you can just get away from?” he questions before kissing the hollow part of your neck.

“Don’t,” you moan softly.

“We argue, Angel, One of the many things we’re good at,” he husks as he hoists you up, your legs doing what they always and wrapping themselves around him tight. “I said some things I didn’t mean and I’m sorry. So fucking sorry,” he promises before biting your neck.

“Andy stop it,” you whimper pathetically, hating how easily you’re giving in to him.

“Don’t ever say that again, you got that, Sweetheart?” he roughly asks as the elevator arrives at your floor.

“I’m not doing this with you again!”

“Oh yes you are.”

Andy has your clothes off and bent over the counter almost as soon as you two get into the apartment, fucking all of his frustration and anger into you from behind.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Angel,” he grunts, his grip on your tight. “I didn’t mean any of it.”

“I fucking hate you, I swear to God,” you moan, clawing at the counter top, loving the roughness of every thrust.

“Stop saying that, you know you don’t. Stop it, please...please don’t say it!”

“Andy-”

“You are every thing to me, Sweetheart. Everything...shit!”

“I fucking hate that I love you! Wish I could...wish I could quit you,” you moan, your release building fast. “Love you so much!”

“Let go for me, Baby! Please!”

“Fuck!” you cry out, your knees almost giving out as you get lost in the pleasure of your release washes over you. “Fill me up, Andy! I need it! Need to feel close to you!”

“Fuck Angel!” Andy grunts, his seed spilling into you as he tries to ride out both of your highs.

You both stay there for a moments, trying to come down from your highs while also trying to handle all of the emotions you both are feeling. You’re so tired of giving into him so easily, but you love him so much. The one person who makes you the happiest also makes you feel the worst.

“I know...I know keep saying I’m sorry and then doing the same shit. I swear I don’t mean it, it’s just...my initial reaction is to just to defend myself.”

“I don’t know how else to show you that I don’t want to hurt you, Andy. I just want to love. All I’ve ever wanted since this became something more is love you and care for you. I can’t do what you don’t let me.”

“I know,” he groans as he pulls out before turning you to face him. “I know that I’m the reason-”

“You keep saying that you know, but you keep doing the same shit, Andy. I can’t keep doing this with you. I love you too much and it hurts too much. I know how badly she hurt you, but I’m not her. You know me well enough to know that I would never do that.”

“Sweetheart-”

“Something’s gotta change or I have to walk away,” you sniffle out. “I’m not your punching bag, Andy.”

You softly push him away from you and slowly make your way to the bedroom. The minute you’re under the covers you just let out all of the tears you’ve been holding in.

Why can’t all of this be simpler?

Andy comes to bed a few minutes later and holds you close, and you’re all too happy to cuddle up to him. Yeah, you’re angry with him, but Andy is still your home. Even when he’s the cause of your pain, he’s still all you want.

“I don’t know why I can’t get my shit together, Sweetheart. I know I’m an asshole and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. I just wanna lay here with you.”

“Whatever you want,” he whispers softly before kissing the top of your head. “Whatever you want.”

Neither one of you says anything, but you can tell that you know there’s a change, and not for the better.

Andy pulls his regular “stay away” routine that he has after every argument you two have, the only difference this time?

You’re not trying to reel him back in.

Soon enough, the arguments become more constant, he’s staying over less, and the love making is more desperate than loving.

“When were you gonna tell me you put your two weeks in?” Andy asks, storming inside your apartment.

“Oh, look who’s here,” you mutter from the sofa.

“Y/N-”

“I told you that I want another job, Andy.”

“I thought you’d at least tell me before you did it!”

“Well, maybe I would have if you were ever here,” you shrug, still not meeting his angry gaze. “I’m not fucking arguing about this, Andy. I don’t want to be there and you keep saying that you don’t want me there-”

“Yeah, but I wanna take care of you-”

“No, you wanna control me.”

“You know that’s not true!”

“Is that something I know? Feels an awful lot like control when you try and persuade me to fucking work for you.”

“Sweetheart-”

“It’s late and I’m tired. Do whatever the fuck you want, I’m going to bed.”

“We’re not even gonna talk about this?”

“Oh, I thought we did? Or does it not count because you’re not getting your way?” you question, finally meeting his gaze as you turn off the TV. You can see all the worry, stress, guilt, and pain that he feels, but it’s become more common than not for you two to hurt one another. “That’s what I thought. Goodnight, Andy,” you sigh before getting up and making your way to your bedroom.

You know it’s the beginning of the end, but you can’t bring yourself to leave him. You keep hoping that there’s a way for you two to get back to where you were, but as arguments become louder and nights become lonelier, you’re almost completely out of hope.

However, there’s one last hope: his birthday.

“Happy Birthday!” you laugh as soon as Andy answers the phone.

“Thank you, baby,” he laughs softly. “I love you.”

“And I love you! What time do you think you’ll be heading over?”

“Oh, actually, the guys are taking me out.”

“Wait...what?”

“Yeah, they’re taking me indoor golfing or something. I’ll come by after.”

“Oh...okay then,” you say softly, biting hard on your bottom lip to hide the disappointment. You feel the tears brimming in your eyes, but you refuse to cry while on the phone with him. “Well, have fun then,” you all but mumble before hanging up.

You all but crumple to the ground as the tears start to flow freely. He knows you two had planned to spend the afternoon together, and you were planning on surprising him with go-kart tickets, because he’s been saying for weeks how he wishes he had more time, because he really wants to go. You’ve made his favorite meal and got his favorite ice cream cake. He went out of his way to hurt you this time, and you’re now more sure than ever, that you two won’t ever find your way back.

You throw out his cake and leave his made plate on the table.

You open a bottle of whiskey and take a seat on the sofa, deciding that you’re done. You’ve had enough and you’re not gonna stay around for him to hurt you any longer.

When you hear the door open at 11, you roll your eyes and keep them glued to the TV. You hear him sigh and you’re guessing that hes either seen the cake in the trash or the food on the table.

Whatever it is, you don’t care and you hope he feels like shit. You hope he’s having the worst birthday ever.

“Sweetheart, why didn’t you tell me-”

“You’re the one who said, in Hawaii, that you wanted us to spend your birthday together. That was your fucking request.”

“Y/N-”

“So I, like a fucking idiot, spend the day making you your favorite food, getting your favorite fucking cake, ready to surprise you with fucking go-kart tickets, just for you to blow me off. However, I guess that it shouldn’t have been a surprise since that seems to be the only thing you’re capable of these days.”

“That’s not true and you know it!”

“I hope you’re not here for birthday sex, because I’m a little too drunk for that,” you scoff before finishing off your drink.

“Don’t.”

“Well, what the fuck do you want, Andy? It’s obviously not to spend time with me.”

“Of course I want to spend-”

“No, because if you truly wanted to, you would have invited me out with you.”

“You know why I couldn’t,” he scowls, leaning against the table.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” you snap, finally turning your attention to him.

“You know exactly what it means.”

You can feel your heart breaking but you can’t drop it. “You said you aren’t ashamed of me.”

“I’m not, but just because I’m not doesn’t mean I can just bring you around. They all know how we met, what you used to do.”

“I’ve only ever slept with you!”

“Be that as it may-”

“I would never do that to you, Andy. Never say something like that!”

“Well, it’s not my fault you love me more than I love you,” he shrugs, but the look on his face tells you that he instantly regrets it.

“Get out!” you shout at him, finally getting off of the sofa and storming over to him.

“Y/N-”

“GET OUT!” you scream, tears flowing freely as you start to shove him.

“Baby, please just-”

“Get out, get out, GET OUT!” you scream, your hands furiously hitting him in the chest repeatedly.

Andy sighs in defeat before slowly turning around and leaving. The minute the door closes, you sink the floor and start crying uncontrollably. You love him more than he loves you? What the fuck are you even doing anymore? Why haven’t cut yourself free of him?

Because you’re a fool in love. That’s why.

You cry until you fall asleep, wanting nothing than to just talk to your Mother. You want nothing more for her to hug you tight and tell you that’ll all be okay, but like everything else in your life, what you love and crave the most, you can‘t have.

Andy waits three days before finally texting you.

My Beautiful Disaster: I know you hate me and you have every right, but please come by my office today. I wanna take you out to lunch and talk things out. I really want to work this out. I was so wrong and out of line. Please, just meet me and we’ll figure all this shit out.

You laid in bed and read the text over and over again. He’s always sorry, always trying to make it up to you, always saying what you want to hear but never actually following through.

Well, not this time. Not anymore.

You get out of bed and go through your drawers until you find one of the skimpy lingerie Andy bought for you when you two first started seeing each other. You curl your hair and apply your makeup perfectly. You put on the lacy skinny black heels he loves and look yourself over in the mirror. You need to make sure you look perfect. You grab his ratty old trench coat before grabbing your car keys and making your way out and start on your way to his job.

When you finally get there, you take a deep breath as you shut off your car. A million thoughts running through your head as you try to build up the courage to do what needs to be done.

‘It’s now or never, babe,’ you tell yourself mentally.

When you get out of the car, you make the sure the coat is tight and secure around you before making your way up the steps and inside the large and intimidating building. When you ask the receptionist for directions to Andy’s office, you don’t miss the way she looks you over, and you can feel the eyes of what feels like one hundred men on you.

‘Focus on the task at hand,’ you remind yourself.

You quickly make your way to his office and take a deep breath before knocking on his door.

“Come in,” he states softly, sounding distracted by something.

You push down the lump in your throat blink back tears before opening the door then quickly closing it behind you.

“What’s up...Sweetheart?” Andy questions, eyebrow cocked as he looks over you, his eye settling on your heels. “What’s...”

“I figured we’d just jump straight to it,” you shrug before opening the trench coat.

“W..what-”

“This is what you really want, right? To fuck me? To keep fucking me? So, lets just do it. You don’t even have to pay me for it now.”

“Y/N-”

“No Andy. You always apologize then do the same shit. I always fucking believe you, because I’m a fucking moron, and then you do the same fucking thing. But as long as you’re a good fuck, I guess I should be grateful, right? I always let you in my fucking pussy, and my fucking heart, and you just abuse the love I have for you. So, instead of you telling me shit I wanna hear, lets just jump to the part you love the most. Besides, you said it the other night; all your little buddies know exactly how we met and what I used to do. I’m your little slut, right? Your little money loving slut?”

“Sweetheart, please-”

“No. I don’t wanna hear it anymore. You don’t have to lie to me anymore. Just fuck me and get it over with. As per usual, take what you want from me and then toss me aside.”

“That’s not what I want at all,” he sobs softly. “You know I love you. I just-”

“There’s always a fucking excuse! I don’t want to cry anymore, I don’t wanna feel my heart break anymore, and I don’t wanna keep hoping for you to change. For you to love me as much as I love you. So, lets just go back to what this has always been. Sex. If it makes you feel better, I’ll let you hold me afterwards so you can feel like we actually have something special.”

“If you’ll just hear me out-”

“I’m tired of hearing you out,” you sniffle, wiping away tears. “I’m tired of believing in you, I’m tired of taking you back, I’m tired of you always making an excuse as to why you can’t just fucking be with me...I’m tired of all of it. So, if you’re not gonna fuck me, I’m gonna be going.”

“Please-”

“Bye Andy,” you sob before opening his office door and storming out, not even bothering to close the coat.

By the time you get back to your car, you’re a blubbering mess. The hardest part is about to happen, but you know that if you don’t take the next step, you’ll never be free of him.

When you get back to your apartment, you pack all of your things (and a few of Andy’s sweaters), before grabbing a pen and paper and leaving him a note. You take one final look around before placing the key to the apartment on top of the note you left for him on the kitchen counter.

It’s time for you to say goodbye to Andy for good.

Andy’s P.O.V.

How could be so stupid? How the fuck could I have said that? You love me more than I love you? That’s probably the biggest fucking lie I’ve ever told. What is it that always makes me treat you like shit? I know for a fact that there’s nothing you’d ever do to hurt me, and I just keep pushing. Pushing you to do what I want, away, towards anger...I keep fucking this up and I really fucking wish I could figure out why.

Why couldn’t I just tell you that I saw Laurie? It truly meant nothing, I just needed some fucking closure.

That night was so fucking terrible, but I’d do it all over again if it meant I could feel the sense of freedom I felt when I left the restaurant that night.

“I’m really happy to see you, Andy,” Laurie beamed at me as I took a seat across from her.

“You look good,” I smiled awkwardly. They’re so many emotions running through my mind, of course they all go back to Y/N, but I need to get through this if I want us to have any real chance.  “Thanks for meeting me.”

“Well, you said you wanted to talk-”

“I don’t wanna be rude, but I’m gonna stop you right there. I don’t want to get your hopes up and make you think we have a chance at working things out. This isn’t that at all.”

“Oh,” is all she said and for just a moment, I felt like an asshole. Then I remember my reason for doing all of this.

Y/N.

“I want to start off by apologizing to you. The last few years of our marriage was a shit show to say the least, and me being an asshole didn’t help a fucking thing.”

“It’s not like I didn’t push you to it.”

“I shouldn’t have acted out like that. I was angry, hurt, and I just wanted to hurt you. However, no matter what happened between us, you’re still Jacob’s mother and I shouldn’t have treated you that way. I let my pain bleed all over every thing and turn me into someone I don’t like. Someone I don’t recognize. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” she smiled softly as the waiter approached to take our drink order.

There was a time that smile meant everything to me and I’d be lying if I said it breaks my heart with how little it means to me now.

“So, if we’re not here to talk about trying again, I’m guessing we’re to talk about her,” Laurie sighed, sitting back a little after the waiter walked off.

“Don’t say it like that.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Andy. That I’m happy for you? That I want the best for you?”

“That’s exactly what I want you to say, Laurie. I didn’t do this to us. I fought hard as hell to save our marriage and you decided you didn’t want it anymore. I couldn’t change your mind so I lashed out. In doing so, I met Y/N and Laurie...I love her. I fucking love her so much and I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“Andy-”

“I still love you, Laurie. A part of me probably always will, but I can’t ever be with you again. Not after everything we’ve been through, but I wanna try with her. I want to really try,” I practically mumbled as the waiter came back with our drinks. I’m not surprised that neither of us wants a thing to drink; wanting to be as numb as possible.

“She’s just a mouth keep your cock warm, Andy. You think you love her-”

“Don’t,” I scoffed. “Don’t belittle her when you don’t know a thing about her. She is funny, smart as a fucking whip, compassionate, thoughtful, an amazing cook, loving, hard working, loyal...she’s amazing, Laurie. Jacob loves her-”

“Great.”

“I had to move on at some point and you know that.”

“I really didn’t want you to.”

“I tried to make it work with you, Laurie. I really did,” a smiled weakly, my eyes watering just a little. “We had a good run though. No one can say we didn’t have our moment in the sun.”

“We really did,” she sniffled out as wiped her eyes. “So, what made you realize that you’re really in love with this...woman.”

“I’ve known for a while, but I’ve been too afraid to commit. Then we went to Hawaii-”

“That was supposed to be our trip.”

“We were supposed to have a lot of things, babe.”

“Yeah, my bad, I fucked that up,” she chuckled humorlessly. “Anyway, you two went to Hawaii...”

“It was just perfect. The small gestures overwhelmed her and the biggest ones had her hugging me for hours. We danced, we went on adventures, we had deep and personal talks, we stayed up to watch the sunrise...what I’m about to say, I’m not saying to hurt you, but she’s everything I’ve ever wanted. Yeah, I know I look like a dirty old man, but it’s nothing to do with how old she is. If anything, that’s just a bonus. Someone like her loving someone as fucked as me...it’s unreal. She’s perfect and I’m losing her because I’m afraid. I wanted to have this dinner...I need closure, Laurie. I can’t move forward with her if I don’t have closure with you.”

“Andy-”

“Laurie, I want us to be okay, maybe even be friends, but I can’t keep feeling like my happiness is destroying you. Yeah, in the beginning, I did wanna hurt you like you hurt me, but now...I just wanna be happy again. I wanna be happy with her and not feel like it’s crushing you.”

“I guess I kinda owe you, don’t I?” she sobbed, weak smile on her face.

If only she knew how much it was tearing me apart to do this to her.

“I can....I can be nice to her,” she sniffled. “Like her? That’s not gonna happen any time soon, but I can be nice. If it lasts, I can come around to the idea of being friendly with her at some point. She makes you happy and she makes Jacob happy, so I don’t have much of a choice do I?”

“Thank you, Laurie.”

The rest of the night was filled with planning and crying, trying to be civil, and coming to the conclusion that we truly are better apart than together at this point. When all was said and done, we said our goodbyes and wished each other the best before heading off.

I had planned to tell you that night, but when I got to your place and saw that you were already drunk and upset, how was I supposed to say anything? Yeah, a smarter man would have. A better man would have, but I’m neither of those things. So, instead, I just hold you tell you that I love you and I want to commit.

I tell you I love you and want to commit, and then don’t fucking do it.

Instead of being the man I wanted to be, I was a coward and ran and hid from you the moment we got into a huge argument over my fucking ex-wife.

Why the fuck did her words have to get to me? Why is this so hard for me? Why can’t I just take the fucking leap? You’re probably more terrified than I am, but you’re still waiting and hoping for me to be a better person. I keep fucking failing you and I wish I could stop.

I want to stop.

Every time I think I’m ready to commit, I remember the time I caught Laurie cheating in the home we made, in the house I bought, and chicken out. It’s easier for me to be an asshole than for me to be a boyfriend. I hear myself when we argue and I know that I’m being a complete asshole, but I’m just fucking scared and so wounded. I know I can be and do better for you, but I’ve been resorting to being a complete dickhead for so long, it’s the first thing I resort to and once I’m in the mindset, I can’t get out of it.

However, seeing you like I did today. Crying, truly believing that all I want from you is sex...what have I done to us? How was I a big enough fool to not chase after you?

Jesus, I’m such a fucking idiot.

I’m not gonna keep being this guy though. I’ll show you, and everyone else, that you’re the only one for me. You’re perfect for me and I’m decent enough for you. Things are gonna be different from here on out.

I’m gonna commit and make you the happiest woman on earth. A life without you is a life I don’t wanna live, and I hate that its taken me this long to figure it out.

“Sweetheart?” I call as soon as I unlock the apartment door. “Sweetheart, I’m finally fucking ready! I know I have a lifetime to prove...” I stop as I see the an apartment key on the kitchen counter. “No,” I whisper to myself. “She didn’t.”

I slowly make my way to the counter top, barely able to keep my balance as I hunch over the counter.

This isn’t happening. I didn’t fuck up this bad.

‘My dearest Andy,

I love you. I love you more than I love life itself. You’re the center of my universe and the reason I smile. The first thought I have in the morning and the last thought I have at night. Basically, you’re everything to me...but, I’m not everything to you. I don’t doubt that you tried, because I could see you making the effort, but in the end...it’s just not enough. I can’t keep waiting for you, Andy. I saw the picture of us on your desk and I know...I know just how much I mean to you. I know I don’t love you more than you love me, but you still said it. The words still ring as clear as day in my head. I can’t keep being the person you attack when you’re scared. I didn’t do this to you. I didn’t do this to us, and if I’m honest, I just don’t have the strength and patience anymore. I know a lot of this is on me, because I kept making excuses for you, kept coming back, and kept pretending things didn’t hurt as much as they did. You told me that I need to communicate with you and I didn’t. Anyway, I’m just dragging this out I guess...I paid the bill for this month and next month...I gotta go, baby. I can’t keep doing this with you...I just can’t. I keep saying that, but it’s true. If only you fucking knew. Please take care of yourself, I love you so much. I’m gonna miss the hell out of you and Jacob. I did take a few of your sweaters, but you probably won’t notice or miss them. Treat the next woman better, okay? Treat her the way you wanted to treat me. I truly believe we’re soulmates, we just found each other at the wrong time. Ain’t life a bitch?

All my love in this life and the next,

Y/N’

I can’t stop reading the note as I slowly sink down to the ground. You’re gone? No, you can’t be. This is just a fucking warning to get me to act right. One that I deserve. However, the fact that all traces of you are gone, has reality hitting me too hard.

You’re gone. Really fucking gone.

What the fuck have I done?

**

Andy’s been calling and texting you non-stop for the last 2 weeks, and its taken all the strength you have in you to not respond. You’ve never felt more alone in your life. Thank God for Allison, because she’s been letting you stay at her place, rent free, since you left the apartment Andy got for you as you try and figure it all out. It helps that she finally dumped Tyler, so now there’s more space for you two to just sit and wallow.

Lindsey comes over almost daily to check on the both you, giving Allison rides to work when she’s too out of it to drive, and while it is a godsend, you just wanna be left alone.

You’ve applied to a few restaurants, but your heart isn’t in anything. You just want to sulk for a bit and lick your wounds. There isn’t a day that goes by that you’re not thinking about Andy and how he’s doing. You wonder if he’s eating regularly, drinking enough water, keeping up with his exercises, sleeping enough (he’s a terrible sleeper when his anxiety is high), and if he’s getting his work done to the best of his ability.

Both Allison and Lindsey assure you that he hasn’t been at the club, but you don’t want to think about that. You don’t even let yourself think about the possibility of him being with someone else. Your main focus as of late has been to just get out of bed and at least eat once again.

“You have to get out of the house, babe,” Allison sighs as she gets in beside you.

“I just the ground to swallow me whole.”

“It’s not always gonna feel like this.”

“I love him so much and I know-”

“You deserve better, babe.”

“I don’t want better, I just want Andy.”

“Hun...oh, who the fuck is that?” Allison mutters before getting up to see who’s at the front door. “What are you doing here?” she snaps and you can’t tell whose her so mad so fast. “How did you even get my address?...I’m gonna kill Sam!”

Andy.

“It doesn’t matter that you want to see her, because she doesn’t wanna see you...I don’t care what you think! You need to leave!”

As her anger rises, and you assume Andy refuses to leave, you sigh in defeat before forcing yourself out of bed. You slide your feet into your favorite black fuzzy slippers before pulling one of Andy’s old college sweatshirts on.

Your new constant outfit.

“I’ll handle it, Allison,” you mumble, standing behind her.

“Y/N, you don’t owe him-”

“I need to do this. I can’t keep moping around your house and I need to set things straight. Hiding in your house clearly isn’t getting me anywhere.”

“Are you sure?”

“Can’t feel any worse than I do now,” you shrug, fiddling with your fingers.

Allison sighs in defeat and takes a step back. “I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

You keep your gaze on your feet as you make your way out onto the porch and close the door slightly behind you. You don’t even wanna think about how much of a mess you look right now. Your hair is in a messy bun, your eyes look like they’ve gone grocery shopping with all the bags underneath them, and you can’t remember the last time you weren’t crying.

“Sweetheart-”

“Don’t Andy. Just don’t,” you sniffle.

There’s no way you’re gonna last long without crying.

“Please don’t make this any harder than it already is for us.”

“I’m ready now, Sweetheart. For real this time, I’m ready for any and every thing with you! I didn’t mean any of what I said that night-”

“Andy stop!” you start to cry. “You always say you don’t mean the cruel things you say, but you continue to say them! There’s no excuse for the way you’ve treated me and I’ve done nothing to deserve them! Jesus, you’re entire my world and this ids destroying me! I tried so many times to show you just how much I love you, that I would never hurt you, that I would never do what she did! I stayed when everyone else told me to leave you! I defended you when everyone called you a flaming pile of shit! I did all of this in hopes of finally getting to be with you, but what did I get instead? Lonely nights and a broken heart! You know what makes this worse? Half the shit I wanna be mad at you for, I can’t! You never lied to me about how you were feeling, you always said you didn’t know if you’d ever be ready for a relationship, and you told me time and time again that fear wins every single fucking time. But I was hopeful...so fucking hopeful,” you sob, wiping your eyes.

“I’m ready now,” he cries. “Losing you...I’m ready, Y/N. We can take this at whatever pace you want, but please just-”

“It’s just too little too late,” you sniffle, mustering up all the courage you have to finally look up and meet his mournful gaze. God, this is tearing you apart. “Please don’t call me anymore. Don’t call me. Don’t try and see me...I need to...we need to let one another go.”

“You don’t-”

“Yes I do, Andy. I mean it no matter how much it pains me. We can’t keep doing this toxic little dance. The highs are amazing, but lows are hell and I just don’t have the strength for it anymore. I don’t want to keep trying to be perfect for you, just so you can make me feel like I’m some shameful secret.

“I’m the one who isn’t perfect for you.”

“You were everything I wanted and more. It just took too long for you to see it,” you sob, using the sleeve of his sweatshirt to wipe your eyes,

“Y/N,” Andy begs, taking hold of your wrist softly “if you could just please-”

“I love you, Andy. I love you more than you’ll ever know. Please take care of yourself.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“I’ve gotta go, baby. I’ve gotta move on and so do you,” you smile weakly. You pull him close and kiss him softly on the lips. “I’m gonna miss you,” is all you say before turning and stepping into the house then instantly closing the door behind you.

You can’t hear anything Allison is saying as she rushes to your side and wraps you in a tight hug. All you can hear and feel is your heart shattering into a million tiny pieces all over again. You want nothing more than to open the door and tell Andy you don’t mean it. You wanna tell him that you’ll take him back and be with him like you’ve been longing for.

You just want Andy.

As you cry into Allison’s shoulder, you keep telling yourself mentally that you made the right choice. That it’ll stop hurting after a while and you’ll love again. However, with the pain that you’re feeling, you can’t believe any of what you’re thinking. What if you only ever get one real love in this life?

What if you just closed the door on yours?

~~

taglist: @whxre4cevans​, @fuckingbye​, @maroonsunrise83​, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555​, @autumnrose40​, @emerald-evans​

#Defending Jacob #defending jacob fanfiction #defending jacob fanfic #defending jacob smut #defending jacob one shot #andy barber #andy barber fic #andy barber x you #andy barber x y/n #andy barber x reader #Andy Barber smut #fan fiction #fanfiction #fanfic #fan fic #fan fic smut #I know I'm forgetting something

[dragonmuse]

i am very much in love with your whole Leda verse and it’s many variations but I ESPECIALLY love this newest one with Eddy and Izzy being married!! Going off of canon and general responsibility vibes, Izzy seems to be the one who takes care of her most often — I would love to see something the other way round, with a minor illness/migraine/idk twisted ankle or something that means they’re in charge of taking care of Izzy for a change. I’m picturing her being a good nurse for someone who’s sick but not worryingly sick? and picturing Izzy being an ATROCIOUS patient? idk I would love to see your take!

(I am so on this particular timeline train at the moment that I did not even hesitate, anon. Here's Izzy with the flu and his Eddy.)

It crept on him through the day. He woke up a little fuzzy around the edges, stuffed up and tired. Eddy wasn’t due back until noon, so he kept it a quiet morning. He wasn’t one to stay in bed, but he just made himself coffee and drank it on the couch instead of doing one of his usual early morning chores. A shower woke him up a little. Probably just a bad night’s sleep then.

The cough started while he was sanding down his latest project, he figured it was the dust and took a break to drink some water. His hands were a little shaky. Wearily, he took a break to sort out lunch. Eddy usually came in hungry and it was good to eat together after they’d been away for a bit. He made a chicken salad with last night's leftovers and studded it with dried cranberries.  

He kept coughing which was more than a little annoying. Refilling his water cup, he stored the chicken salad in the fridge and decided that the rest could wait. The couch seemed like a good call. His eyes kind of hurt, along with his head. Might as well just rest them for a second. 

“Iz?” Eddy stood over him. How had she gotten in without him hearing? He was getting rusty. 

“Hey.” He opened his eyes and that was a mistake. His head was killing him and the light wasn’t helping. 

A hand dropped to his forehead. Her fingers were cool from being outside and it was instantly soothing. 

“Holy shit,” she groaned. “You’re burning up. What are you even doing out of bed?” 

“Oh,” he considered his morning. “Yeah, that makes sense. I made lunch.”

“You want to eat it?” She challenged. 

The idea was not particularly appealing now that she mentioned it. “No.” 

“Go take off your pants and get back into bed,” she ordered. He lifted his eyebrows. “Absolutely the fuck not. You’d pass out in the middle.” 

“Never,” he contended, but bed sounded fucking amazing as it happened, so he got to his feet and made his way there. He could hear her banging around through the house, but gave up figuring out what she was doing in favor of shedding his clothes. Then getting into the bed very fast because he was also freezing. 

It was too early for a nap, but he drifted anyway. Eddy came in and prodded him in the ribs. “Open up.” 

A thermometer was stuck unceremoniously into his mouth. It beeped after a few seconds. 

“Bad?” Izzy hazarded a guess when Eddy didn’t say anything. 

“Is a 102 good?” Eddy asked skeptically. 

“No,” Izzy snorted. “Definitely the fucking flu. Told you Olga got it and we drove together the other day. Probably gave it to me before she took sick leave.” 

“So what do we do?” Eddy set the thermometer down on the side table. 

“Nothing. I’ll drink liquids, watch day time tv, take some decongestant if I need to. It’ll go on its own.” He waved it away. “You should go stay with Bonnet or you’ll get it too.” 

“Wow,” Eddy sat down beside him. “Nice. Really nice, Iz.” 

“What?” 

“In sickness and health, you fucking martyr.  Pretty sure it goes two ways.” 

“You smoked for way longer, this shit gets in your lungs, it'll be a fight against pneumonia,” he protested. 

“Great, you can worry over that when it’s my turn. For now, I’m not actually going to leave you here to manfully die alone. Fuck.” 

He reached out and found their hand. They let him tug at it and then with a huff amusement, let him drop it on his forehead. Their fingers were cool anymore, but it still felt good. 

“Fine.” He mumbled around their thumb. Then after a second’s thought, he nipped at it. 

“I’m going to sell you to a sideshow,” she declared, flicking his nose gently then retreating. “You are such a little freak.” 

“Good luck getting full price when I’m not in mint condition.” 

“You want anything?” 

“Water. Advil. Box of tissues.” 

“Anything else?” 

“Nah.” 

Eddy deposited all the requested items. He sat up enough to take the pill and get down some of the water before he started coughing again. The creeping grossness was finally full upon him, head full of cotton and face full of snot. Great. It wasn’t a graceful landing back on the mattress. 

“Here,” Eddy shoved his phone in his hand. “Text me if you get worse. I’m going to eat something. And not whatever fun special lunch you coughed in for me.” 

That was probably a good call. He rolled over and shivered himself to sleep.  

When he woke up again, he was warm. Eddy was definitely in bed with him, her feet pressed to his calves. He turned over, muffling the resulting cough in his elbow. She was sitting against the headboard, laptop on a pillow as she watched something with a lot of color on the screen.  

“What’s that?” He asked blearily. 

“It’s a comedy thing that Roach got me into. British. Comedians trying to do weird tasks in funny ways.” 

Izzy sneezed into his elbow, grabbed a tissue and blew for what felt like a year, then sagged back against the headboard. 

“This is a real look,” Eddy eyed him speculatively. “Could enter you in a zombie shambling contest.” 

“Do they have those?” He asked groggily. 

“Yeah, it’s a whole thing. C’mere.” 

Izzy wasn’t going to resist that. It took a little doing, but he wound up with his head on her chest, and her arm wrapped around him.  The show didn’t make a lot of sense, but some of it was funny enough to get a laugh out of him. Eddy idly tugged at the ends of his hair. 

Eventually he felt something in the neighborhood of hunger for the first time that day and started to get up. 

“Where are you going?” She asked. 

“Gonna eat something.” 

“Yeah, okay what?” 

“Toast?” 

“Fine.” She set the laptop down. “Don’t suppose you’d eat it in bed?” 

“Fuck no,” he got his feet under him. Crumbs in the sheets gave him a particular horror. He had a full on screaming match with them over it once. It was one of the few times they hadn’t been able to make him back down and it had become a bit of a symbolic battle ground. He didn’t care if he was half-dead, he was not opening the door to them feasting on literal crackers in their literal bed again. Because he would kick them out, charming saying or not.

When they got to the kitchen, Eddy pushed him toward a chair and he couldn’t really do much more than collapse into it like wet tissue. Everything ached. 

“What time is it?” He frowned at the window. It looked darker than it should. 

“Seven.” They stuck two slices of bread in the toaster. 

“Ugh,” he decided and dropped his head into his hands. “Someone put fiberglass in my brain.” 

“Arguably they did that a long time ago,” she said untroubled. “What do you want on it?” 

“Got any of that lime-raspberry stuff left?” 

They had a truly epic collection of jams these days and it took Eddy some perusing to find the right one. 

“This one?” 

“Yeah. You have a good weekend?” He asked. 

“Learned how to stone fabric,” she said happily. “I’m going to look like a fucking disco ball.” 

“Which one is this again?” 

“Purple thing. It’s new, you haven’t seen it yet. You’ll like it,” she smirked. “It’s sleeveless.”

He really did like when their shoulders were exposed. 

She put too much jam on the toast, but he could probably use the extra calories after a day of just coffee. While he ate, she thumbed through something on her phone. His plate clattered into the sink when he finished and then she herded him back into their bed. 

“I’m going for a walk before it gets too dark,” she declared and then handed him his phone again. It was ringing for some reason. “Enjoy.” 

“What?” He watched her go. 

“Hey, Iz,” Lucius said from the phone. Izzy stared at it then put it to his ear. 

“Hey. Sorry.” 

“What for?” 

“Eddy dialed you, didn’t know if you were in the middle of something.” 

“Why did- you sound like shit. What’s wrong?” 

“Just the flu, I think. Got a bit of a fever.” 

“What’s a bit?” Lucius pressed.

“Not sure, actually.” He fumbled for the thermometer. It was under a growing pile of tissues. He popped it under his tongue then checked it. “101.” 

“Yeah that’s a bit,” Lucius was definitely rolling his eyes. “You taking care of yourself?” 

Izzy blinked, “No. Uh. Eddy is.” 

“Oh. What’s that like?” 

He thought about her messing with his hair and making him toast. It was rough in a way, he supposed. She wasn’t the type to dote. But it was a kindness that they couldn’t have afforded him even three years ago. Maybe not even a year ago. He definitely wouldn’t have been able to accept it then either. 

“Good,” he said softly. “I like it.”  

“Aw, Iz,” Lucius’ voice softened. “Cute.” 

“Fuck off,” he grumbled. “My brain is cooking.” 

“Why’d they dial my number?” Lucius wondered. 

“Went for a walk. Probably wanted to make sure I didn’t try to do anything dumb.” 

“Like what?” 

Izzy huffed a laugh. “Might be remembering when I tried to work on my bike when I had a concussion.” 

“Sounds sensible. How’d you even get a concussion?” 

“Got hit by a car, apparently.” 

“What?!” 

“Yeah, that’s what I said. I don’t actually remember it.” 

Lucius squawked about that for awhile, then changed the subject entirely, rambling on about something Izzy wasn’t really up to following. It was nice to just hear his voice anyway. By the time they said good night, the front door had opened and closed. Izzy tracked her movements through the house. Kitchen, cabinets. Microwave. Late dinner then. Pacing and talking while they ate. That was Bonnet, most likely. They talked almost every night even if it was only to say good night. 

Then up the stairs, into the bathroom. Sink running for tooth brushing and the careful skin regime that Izzy could admit did something if not something worth the amount spent on it.  Down the stairs again, probably for something they forgot because they came right back up. Hall light flickered out, bedroom door opened. Closet door opened. Shuffling off of the day’s clothes. Closet light off and then the bed dipping down.  

“Still alive?” They checked. 

“Mostly.” He agreed. 

He dozed again while she messed around on her phone. 

“Hey, how hard is to make that soup you do when I have a cold?” 

“Easy,” Izzy yawned into her ribs. “Just saute garlic, ginger and onions then throw in a can of Campbells.” 

“That shit is from a can?” Eddy asked incredulously. “All this time, I’m thinking you’re doing from scratch Susie Homemaker stuff and it’s from a can?” 

“I used to do homemade and you told me it didn’t taste right,” he said amused. “I figured you liked the metal aftertaste.” 

“Fucking con artist,” Eddy determined. “Why the ginger and shit then?” 

“S’good for you,” he yawned. “And it smells good even if you’re stuffed up.” 

She put her hand between his shoulder blades, digging her fingers in until he groaned. It felt fucking amazing. 

“Stede says you feed a cold, starve a fever, but being hungry fucking blows.” 

“That’s not about food anyway,” Izzy muttered. “It’s about temperature and it’s wrong. Don’t make me soup.” 

“You can’t fucking stop me right now, can you?” 

“Eddy,” he tried to say reasonably, but it came out more as a whine. “Don’t burn my fucking pans.” 

“I’ll do what needs to be done and you’ll fucking shut up about it, plague rat.” 

He shut up about it, but he did it with a smile and fell asleep feeling like dog shit and also pretty fucking great.

#leda house and the kraken verse #you're awful i love you

[drunk-poets-society]

Omg i had the most dream ever.

Ok so

I was in a bus and very very social, so I got to talking with this guy and he was like “i know a Spot” and so i went there with him and it was like a country club on the countryside and gave me (idk what this word was supposed to be) vibes, with a splash of Appalachia or even Scandinavia but it was a nice wooden lodge and the atmosphere was constantly moody and cloudy, like it would rain any moment and I really liked it.

It was also very very Christian and there was a church, and we were in the back where the alter boys wear their robes and where all the stuff is stored and there’s these individual mini garden swings which fit one person. So I’m standing up looking down at the guy, and we’re looking at pictures and we see some of this old lady doing some weird cult stuff hereditary style and I’m like ‘that’s cool’ and find out that that lady is still alive and in the church.

Plot twist the church members wanted to find out wtf this woman’s deal was, but she was a very very old member so no one dared ask her. so I was tasked, kind of like a PI to uncover the truth and so i moved to the ranch???? Farm????? Adjoining the church.

There was constantly supernatural stuff happening which was pissing me off. Like a lot of paranormal activity which I kept brushing off as me being mentally ill™️🤪 and it was annoying me a lot. It was giving skinwalker ranch honestly. Anyways. one day I hear footsteps or something and then I see this creature-girl with very long but sparse but freakishly strong hair, and just like two scribbles for eyes

Yk kinda like this and her skin was the texture of a stuffed doll. It didn’t scare me, just made me think “either I’m not as insane as I thought or I have completely lost it”. So I went on a mission to catch her, and found out Actually there were two. they were kind of like sisters? Twins? Idk. But they had very long gangly limbs and were like stuffed dolls. And I was like “k cool, I don’t care” and continued living there, the paranormal activity still happening, which I just brushed off as mental illness™️™️🤪

Then one day, I was near the barn and there was this big-ish puddle of water that I didn’t know the depth of, but assumed it wasn’t that deep, seeing as it was a puddle, but the water was opaque and muddy so I didn’t step in it, because I didn’t have any reason to do so.

So like the lodge, right? The guy? Him and his friends gave me some scalpels as weapons that I was to keep on myself at all times. I was like “ok whatevs” and kept the bunch of scalpels tied with a rubber band in the right pocket of my overalls, and forgot about it. but i wore the same overalls every day so it was cool.

There were two feral cats napping, submerging themselves in the very puddle and I thought “hm that’s kinda strange but who am I to judge all cats are different” and then I noticed, upon closer inspection, that they weren’t real cats at all, but rather felted ones. They looked very real though.

and then the water started bubbling and then one of the cats got dragged in. Not too fast, I had time to see that the cat wore the still serene expression stitched to its face as it was gently pulled down under. The same thing happened with the second cat, so I put my fishing rod in the water hoping to catch something. It did get caught on something heavy, and I was like yay.

And then one of the girls bobbed up, but the hook had just been caught in her hair, which had very strong roots. Cos it was like 4 strands which were caught and her head was already sparsely populated. Anyways, no hint of the cats but she kinda just walked back into the barn or the house and I followed her, and she disappeared after climbing up and disappearing Into a horizontal support beam.

I caught a single strand of her hair and held onto it trying to pull her back up, and she had no expression or reaction. And as I was reaching for the scalpel the strand of hair broke :( Tried doing the same thing for the second time, this time more cautious, but it escaped again.

Woke up

#really the most plot heavy coherent and linear dream I’ve ever had. this could be a nice scary story tbh maybe I should write it #there were characters! there were creatures!!! there were happenings! it was a very fun dream #exhilarating even. and pretty on brand of me to behave in the way I did #it’s in the ‘the paranormal keeps happening and it’s pissing me off’ genre of scary stories #gonna write this yesssss #dreams #text

[kodzuvii]

CLUB STUPID [24: yeah probably]

next [25: premarital hand holding]

PAIRING - SUNA x FEM!READER

GENRE - crack + fluff

warnings - spelling and grammar errors lol guys its 1am plz-

SYNOPSIS - Club Stupid, an anonymous podcast meant for the dumb and dumbest to send in unspoken and nonsensical thoughts about issues they face in their day to day lives and for Y/n to speak out and give her opinions and feelings. Normal feelings though, nothing romantic like how she thinks this lazy guy with questionable hair in the volleyball club is actually pretty cute.

a/n: as an executive member and proud representative of the suna simp club (jk lol idk) it is my duty, to keep my simps fed. you’re welcome. please listen to some cute wholesome shit. 

“Look at this Samu, Suna really his own breed, how does he manage to look more dead compared to how he usually looks”

“Well Tsumu, he ignored the same girl twice in the same week and also got confronted by her cousin who’s also his captain. Pretty sad if ya ask me”

The twins snickered to each other as they eyed the quiet middle blocker who stood by his locker. “Did you see his blocks today Tsumu? I was afraid I was gonna break his toothpick arms with my spikes” Osamu whispered but made it loud enough for Suna to hear. Atsumu nodded, “yeah Samu, totally lame if you ask me. Thank God Yn wasn’t watching him” he teased. “Oi,” Aran called out as he packed up his things on his back that was sitting on top of the benches inside of the boy’s change room. “Lay off of him will ya” he scolded but the pair shrugged and continued to change out of their practice clothes. 

“What’s even happening?” Akagi whispered and Riseki could only turn to him and mirror the same lost look on his face and give a clueless shrug. They both just sat back and watched the scene unfold in front of them. The twins were teasing and throwing indirect jabs and insults towards their middle blocker who looked as if he was going through an existential crisis with the dull look in his eyes. 

Suna was quiet, everyone knew that. Yet somehow in some way, everyone could feel his energy hit an all-time low. He still attended practice sure, but it was like practicing with a pole lamp. He just stood there and observed whatever was happening but even then, his mind was somewhere else. Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed by the coach who gave him an earful about the proper attitude to be having during their practices. Did he listen though? Nah. Listening to a lecture required too much effort. He was just tired and done for the day and the anxious and nervous feeling bubbling up inside of him wasn't helping either.

Suna was stupid. He knew that. His attention span outside of the court was never the biggest and his lack of energy never helped increase his intelligence. He was never the brightest in his class, and honestly, it never bothered him that he wasn’t. Everything he learned came through one ear and left the other. He retained the information for a test but simply forgot everything once it was over. He wasn’t the brightest, and it didn’t bother him not one bit.

What did bother him was his terrible habit of being oblivious towards other people’s feelings. Maybe it was due to his lack of energy or lack of interest, but he simply never put much effort into acknowledging how people felt. Yeah, he got vibes when people had on and off days, his teammates were the twins, you HAD to notice their mood swings and take necessary precautions. It just never occurred to him that more people could enter his bubble. A bubble that revolved around himself.

However, instead of someone finding a way to enter his fragile bubble without popping it, Suna willingly left his bubble when you came into the picture. It was no secret that Suna was whipped the moment his eyes laid on you. He’s been getting clowned about it ever since the twins found out and they never let a day go by without calling him a simp.

He had no clue what type of person you would be when you entered the doors of the Shiratorizawa gym. You looked sweet and bubbly, the smile you came in with never left your face unless you’d whine to your friends or roll your eyes at them. When you stepped into the room, people just naturally gravitated towards your positive energy and your good vibe. He liked that about you. Then again he still didn’t know anything about you at the time. All he knew was that you managed to attract his attention without even directly giving any to him. Every time he tried to look away and focus on whatever was happening in front of him, his eyes trailed back to you.

For a while after camp, you kept popping back in and out of his mind. It was quite ridiculous actually. He’d be taking a drink by the water fountains and he’d look over to the hallway and suddenly the first thoughts would be ‘what if I saw the redhead again?’ It never lasted long, maybe for a split second or two before he snapped himself out of it. He’d never see you again, what was he talking about? He was just being delusional.

So you could imagine the way his mind stopped functioning the night at the train station. Suna had to pinch himself 8 times when he saw you walk out of the train doors. ‘No way’ he thought. You, out of the 7 billion people in the world, was Kita’s cousin. He remembers seeing your tired face and your short stature clad in a big hoodie and loose sweatpants with your hair tied up. You were supposed to look like a mess, why did he keep thinking that you looked so pretty? This must’ve been the higher power playing a trick on him for slacking off during practice. So annoying.

Suna could keep his cool around school. You weren’t in the same classes meaning he didn’t see you at all. So you could imagine the kind of panic that crossed his mind when Kita told the team that he’d have his cousin staying in the gym. He learned later on that you started watching practices because Kita didn’t feel comfortable with you walking home. You were nice to the team, incredibly nice actually. Your easy-going nature made it easy for you to have a couple of conversations with his teammates here and there. While you were nice to Aran and Akagi, you had a little feisty attitude with the twins (mainly Atsumu) and he couldn’t help but admire how outspoken you were. You were blunt, to say the least. That was something you and Kita had in common. But he liked that about you, how you were always free to speak whatever was on your mind and keep a conversation going. 

Suna noticed early on that you rarely paid attention to their practice. He figured volleyball just wasn’t your thing and he couldn’t blame you for that. During water breaks, he’d glance up and watch you tuck back your hair and sometimes he’d catch you scratching your temple in annoyance because of some question you couldn’t answer on your homework. You never looked up, simply unphased by whatever was happening in front of you. 

Even so, he still put the smallest amount of extra effort into his practices. Jumping a bit higher and running a bit faster and spiking the ball with more force. He insisted that it was about time he would break some of his bad habits, but even the team knew that it was a sorry excuse. Truth be told, a little part of him was just hoping that if you ever looked up from your phone or your work in your lap, you’d see him and think that he looked at least a little bit cool. 

One day, on the rare occasion that he’d be listening in class, he remembers his teacher having a discussion with the class about an epiphany. 

The feeling of a sudden or striking realization that hits an individual out of nowhere.

It was late at night where Suna hit an epiphany. You were off to Miyagi, spending your weekend with your best friend and the Twins continued to bug him about his little first-year crush even though he had asked them multiple times to drop the topic. 

Suna came to the conclusion that he liked the way you made him feel. He liked the way he felt at ease when you were around him. He liked how you were so different compared to him, but it never stopped you from forming a friendship with him. You never pushed him to ever open up to you, you listened to the bare minimum he had to say and never took his lazy nature and blunt attitude to heart. He liked annoying you, the way your face would scrunch up when he’d take your bento’s the first couple times during your first initial lunch hangouts or the way you’d puff your cheeks when he comments on your height. He liked the way your eyes lit up when the smallest things caught your attention. He took notes on the songs you said you were currently listening too or the ones that reminded you about happy memories. 

Suna especially liked seeing you smile. Especially towards him. Something about it gave him the same feeling that was comparable to the way he would feel when he would see those jelly sticks on sale at the grocery store. The way you’d roll your eyes in playful annoyance when he'd come up to you and ask to bandage his fingers even though you both knew that he was capable of doing it himself. You would tease him, a playful smile gracing upon your lips, telling him that his fingers would probably break off if you weren’t there to bandage them up. Suna liked thinking that having you wrap them up made his hands feel a bit stronger with his blocks. But you didn’t need to know that.

He remembers a specific memory that lives rent-free in his mind. He was walking down the hallway, casually strolling and taking his time to get back to class after using the bathroom and he happened to notice you heaving a tired sigh as you closed the doors to your class. You looked quite frustrated, probably because it was your art class and you had been complaining days earlier about how creatively drained you were.

 Suna must’ve been looking at you for a moment too long because the moment your eyes met, he felt something tug at his chest by the way your eyes sparkled at the sight of him. Despite being under a little bit of stress, the same smile he grew to enjoy seeing made its way onto your lips and you waved to him excitedly before running up and rambling off about how much your class was pissing you off.

You two eventually got in trouble for skipping the whole period after being too caught up in your conversation. Suna thought it was worth it though.

After scrolling through his phone, listening to Atsumu’s obnoxious lovey-dovey playlist, and inevitably searching “how to know if you like or like like a girl” (there's a difference, he swears) on google. 

He came to his epiphany.

 Maybe before, when he barely knew you and you never knew him, maybe he was just infatuated with the idea of you. 

But it was different now, He liked you.

And that scared him.

It scared him how vulnerable he felt. Suna’s reserved and quiet nature gave him a hard time to open to others. Not that he really cared if he was being honest. He simply had the mindset that no one needed to know everything there was to his existence. Everyone eventually leaves anyways, what was the point?

When it sank into him that he liked you, it confused him endlessly. You never wanted to get out of his head and sooner or later he found himself doing the smallest things for you. The little black silk band was always on his wrist and if it wasn’t on his wrist, it would be tucked away in his pockets. Not to mention that he kept one in his pencil case for good measure. The bandaids inside in his backpack were sealed away in a ziplock bag just in case you ever got hurt because he knew you were a bit clumsy. He found himself keeping his eyes open for little souvenirs and trinkets that looked like something that you’d like wherever he went. 

At first, he thought that he just wanted to upgrade you from friend to best friend. Maybe this was a friendship that he had just been deprived of since his world revolved around constantly meaning to improve in volleyball. Yes, he did find comfort in the friendship he grew with you, but sooner or later he realized that he wanted more. The thoughts of holding your hand slipped into his mind and sooner or later hugging you from behind and resting his head on top yours flowed in followed by taking you back by peppering your smooth and soft cheeks with kisses. That wasn’t something that best friends did.

Kita was right about how his logic of ignoring you to suppress his feelings was stupid and that the worst things that could happen were that he’d get rejected. But he didn’t want to face the chance of him getting rejected, he’d like you for so long and he learned during his time spent away from you that he didn’t want to just stop talking to you. Suna knew himself, if he got rejected then he’d distance himself away from you and never talk to you ever again because the embarrassment would eat him up. 

He didn’t wanna lose you for that. He wasn’t ready. 

What a coward. 

He just really hoped you liked the flowers and read his note, he thought anything was better than a stupid “I’m sorry” text.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

“Hurry up, I need to lock up the gym” Kita’s voice echoed throughout the walls as he stepped into the changeroom. Suna looked up from his phone, taking one last glance at your ‘see you soon :P’ text before shutting it off and shoving it into his pockets. As everyone began to leave one-by-one and bid their goodbyes to each other and their captain. The twins however didn’t leave until they both gave Suna a teasing punch on both of his shoulders. Suna only glared at them before proceeding to make his exit as well. 

Kita stopped Suna before he could exit and the look on his face seemed rather serious. With his voice low, Kita simply said “She needs to be back by 7. If she comes home hurt in any way, I’m benching you” he said sternly and that was enough for him to feel his skin crawl under his tracksuit jacket. Suna nodded, understanding that he really wasn’t kidding and that he definitely bench him. 

Kita turned around and opened the door for them both to leave the changerooms. They walked together side-by-side and from a distance, he could see your short figure walking up to both of them. You looked different today, your hair was sitting on your shoulders and a pair of gold-rimmed glasses he was yet to see was sitting on the bridge of your nose. You were clad in your uniform with an oversized pink knit cardigan overtop. Was that a new cardigan you were wearing? He’s never seen it before either. 

Kita smiled at the sight of you skipping up to them and he watched you two exchange high fives and he gave you a brief little speech about staying late. You nodded along and Suna stood by and watched Kita ruffle your hair making you whine cutely. 

He wanted to do that.

You waved goodbye to your cousin and Kita looked at Suna and gave him a firm nod before turning back and making his way towards the gym doors. You turned back and faced Suna, your hands behind your back as you made your way towards him with a warm smile. “Hey there” you greeted and stood in front of him, looking up so you could look at him clearly. Suna couldn’t help but look at you weirdly, why were you acting as nothing happened? Shouldn’t you be upset with him? “Hi, let’s go?” god, why was he so forward. 

You hummed and shook your head, making him furrow his eyebrows in confusion, “do you not wanna go anymore? I can drop you off if you want-” You rolled your eyes, “I don’t see you for a week and you’re already trying to get rid of me?” you questioned and narrowed your eyes at him. Suna felt his heart wrench as your lips pouted. 

He shook his head, “n-no” he stuttered. Your eyes perked up and you watch his cheeks heat up (potentially from embarrassment, but you're not going to assume) and look away. 

You chuckled and grabbed his wrist and pulled him to follow behind you. What made you so bold today? Probably from the unexpected pep talk you had with Goshiki that morning.

“You don’t need him Ln-senpai! If he thinks he can just look over you and all your greatness and beauty and not acknowledge how beautiful you are and how your very presence graces this dull world then send his ass to KFC! You are a woman senpai! A beautiful woman who deserves everything. Not a value menu that has a 20% off discount!”

Did his speech make sense? Sure. You’ll take it over Tendou’s “cut his dick off if he does you dirty queen” text message sent with the confetti effect on imessage followed by a bunch of knife emojis that was honestly more threatening rather than comforting.

You pulled him out of the gym and Shin gave you a look before shaking it off and locking up the gym doors. From the corner of your eyes, you could see the twins sending winks your way before snickering and walking off. You rolled your eyes and stopped when you reached the doors of the school. 

You turned around and faced Suna who looked very lost and confused. “Let’s not go to the convenience store today, let’s go somewhere else,” you say. Suna nodded slowly, “okay? Where do you wanna go?” he asked.

Just then, you lifted up your other hand and it was only then that Suna noticed you carrying a small pink lunch tote. You let go of his wrist and tucked some strands your hair behind you ear, “we haven’t had lunch together in a week and you had a meeting today again so we couldn’t do anything today either and well..” you trailed off and looked up at him and shrugged, “I figured we could make up for lost time” you muttered. 

Suna felt his chest tighten, not only because you were absolutely adorable and it was making him lose his mind, but it almost seemed like you were the one trying to apologize to him when you didn’t do anything wrong. He did.

You frowned as you looked at how subtly his face dropped. As upset as you were, you understood that he wasn’t ready to tell you whatever he was meaning to hide. He wasn’t obligated to tell you anything and you understand that. A small smile creeping up on your lips, “let’s go eat at the park near my house. The one we walk by all the time. Saves you the trouble of worrying if you’re gonna get home on time or not” you laughed slightly.

Suna couldn’t say no to you, so here were the two of you now. Eating and sitting in front of the other with the bento’s you had prepared on the table. The park was as busy as it usually would be during the afternoon. The atmosphere felt warm as the sky was slowly settling into hues of orange with peaks of pink seeping through. Suna watched you happily eat the bento you had prepared and listened attentively as you told him about everything he missed during your week and you did the same when he talked about his. 

A part of him couldn’t help but admire how pretty you looked in front of him. Suna was lying when he told the twins that you were a 7. You were beyond a 7 and beyond whatever scale they had given him. It was a rare sight to see you with your glasses and partnered with that oversized pink cardigan? You were adorable. 

You tilted looked up from your food and stopped mid-sentence when you saw him just look at you with what seemed to be a fond look in his eyes. But you could’ve just been mistaken, maybe you need to have your prescription checked again. “Rin, what’s wrong?” you asked. At the sound of his name, Suna blinked snapped back into reality and was met with your concerned look. “W-what?” You chuckled, “you zoned out Rin, everything okay?” you asked.

Rin.

He liked the way his name rolled off your lips. 

He shook his head, “I’m fine, sorry. This is really good by the way, I didn’t think you could cook” he said as an attempt to change the subject. You rolled your eyes but you looked away. “As much as I want you to believe I’m some great chef, Granny helped me with most of it” you confessed sheepishly. 

He chuckled and poked the sausage that was cut up into a little octopus with his chopsticks, “Well, you did tell me that you burned rice once so maybe I thought too highly of you to make a full meal” he teased. You scoffed and grabbed his bento, “if you’re not gonna appreciate the chef then you don’t deserve the food” you huffed. Suna rolled his eyes and grabbed yours, “guess I’ll have to eat yours then” he said and shoved some rice into his mouth. Your jaw dropped at his actions, “Hey!”

As the day went on, you both began to feel at ease and comfortable once again with each other's presence. The harmony that flowed around between you two was coming back and was settling into its familiar rhythm. You two continued to chat as if nothing happened. Laughing at anything and everything you found remotely hilarious under the sun. Suna felt warm. He was here, with you, and everything felt okay. With both your bento’s empty and tucked neatly away into your lunch bag and the sun settling down and giving a wake-up call for the stars to come out, it was about time for Suna to bring you home.

The walk back to your place was comfortable. There was no tension in the air or any awkwardness in the atmosphere. It was simply peaceful. You were walking beside him and rambling on about something that had happened to you in class that day. It was slightly cooler and the winds were colder and he had noticed early on that you kept pulling at the ends of your cardigan at an attempt to get some more warmth from it. It would’ve just been rude for him to let you be cold, Kita would kill him if you got sick.

It took you by surprise to see Suna slipping off his volleyball jacket and shoving it into your hands. He was wearing a hoodie under it anyway, he didn’t mind. A part of him was just curious about how his jacket would fit you too and what kind of fool would you be to reject an oversized jacket? It was just extra points that happened to be from the boy that you liked.

Suna nodded along to what you were saying, but he couldn’t help the sudden urge to just grab your hand out of his system. You were walking so close to each other. Your shoulders kept brushing past and your hands were right there. 

But with the events that happened this past weekend, he didn’t wanna overstep any boundaries. He was still too cautious that he would mess up and make you upset all over again. With the thought of his actions, Suna suddenly felt a little ball of guilt eat him up. He never stopped feeling bad about what he did. Kita’s words rang through his head, he needed to learn how to communicate better and not deal with everything all on his own. Maybe he really was a coward for letting such a dumb fear eat him up.

In the midst of your talk about how much you despise your math class, you turned to look at Suna and saw how troubled he looked. He didn’t even look like he was listening anymore and seemed to be having some sort of internal battle with himself. 

You furrowed your eyebrows and grabbed his wrist to stop walking. “Rin, what’s wrong?” you asked, concern lacing the tone of your voice. You both never really brought up what had happened. Maybe you were just too caught up in having a good time but you were honestly content with the reasons he gave you. If he wasn’t ready then he wasn’t ready. 

Suna however felt like he owed you so much more than his apology that he already struggled to explain. 

Suna stared down at you for a moment, the unreadable expression on his face that only made you more confused. It was quiet for a moment, the only sound to be heard was the wind blowing by and the trees rustling.

Nothing would have prepared you for the way he turned around and pulled the arm that was holding his wrist and pulling you into his chest. His hands wrapped around your shoulders as he held you just a little bit tighter. He was a bit stiff, but you couldn’t put that against. He wasn’t the type of person to initiate things like this.

“I’m sorry”

Your body froze, something about his tone was different. It was vulnerable.

You stayed quiet, letting yourself relax slowly in his hold.

“F-fuck, I’m really sorry. I said I wasn’t good with words right? S-so I’m trying to explain now because you deserve it but I don’t even know why I did it. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset at all, I was just caught up with myself and I didn’t consider what I was doing to you. You didn’t deserve that. I like being around you and I’m sorry” He pulled away and one of his hands dropped to your waist and fiddled with the material of his jacket. You watched as his free hand dug deep into his pockets and you watched him pull something out. 

“It’s kind of pathetic if you ask me and it’s also kind of ugly but-” he grabbed one of your arms and dropped the object into the palms of your hands. Your eyes widened at the little paper craft,

It was an origami strawberry.

It was small, it fit perfectly inside on the palms of your hand. You could see that he struggled with making it. The leaves were slightly bent and the tip of the strawberry was ripping off. There were lots of creases all in the wrong places and even the seeds were drawn on. 

But it still melted your heart. 

“I read somewhere about 1000 paper cranes for a wish and well, cranes are kind of hard and I didn’t have enough paper to make 1000 and-god this is so embarrassing-” he muttered the last part but gained enough courage to look up at you and meet your eyes. Your eyes were soft and patient. “I wished that you wouldn’t hate me. Or that, this wouldn’t y’know...make everything all weird between us. I like you-or well uh- being around you at least and I-I know you joke about it all the time but please don't-” 

Suna paused when he felt you wrap your arms around his waist once again, hugging him back but just a little bit tighter. The small confession not even going through your mind because your attention was too focused on the way his words were making you melt. 

“You’re an idiot” you mumbled into his chest and hugged him a bit tighter. Your words made his stomach drop, but that feeling went away when you pulled back and looked at him with a smile. A smile that said you understood. 

“I’m never gonna force you to tell me anything you don’t want to tell me” You repeated but this time it felt different, it felt warmer. 

“I’m never gonna hate you. I know how you are Rin, you’re not good with your words and I get that. You could've sent me a text but you didn’t. You went out of your way with the flowers and even the little note and this adorable fucking strawberry is more than enough” you laughed but you could feel your eyes watering up slightly with the overwhelming amount of emotions you were feeling all at once. “You don’t need to keep apologizing to me okay? I understand. Thank you,” you smiled. Suna stared down at you. Nodding slowly and you chuckled and fell into his arms once again.

This time, he was the one who held you a bit tighter.

“This side of you is cute you know, but It’s kinda ruining your whole tsundere image you’re going for. Bet the twins would make fun of you for being this thoughtful” you whispered jokingly, making him roll his eyes and huff a quiet “shut up” in annoyance. If only you knew the pain he endured for putting up with those twins. 

You both stayed like that for a little while longer. Holding each other and fitting so perfectly in the arms of the other. If it wasn’t for your phone dinging from a text from Shin asking where you were, Suna swore he would have held you there for the whole night. 

You pulled away first and tugged his hand, “come on, Shin wants me home now so let’s get going ‘kay? Don’t want you getting benched the whole season now do we?” you grinned and walked in front of him and tugged him along. 

Somehow in some way, your fingers slipped perfectly into his.

Suna could only feel the warmth rising in his chest, his daze fixed at the sight of his hands interlocked with yours. 

“Oh and Rin” you called out, making him snap back into reality.

Suna hummed, looking right back at you.

“Tell me when you’re ready, okay?”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

“Text me when you get up in your room safe”

You turned around to him with a quizzical expression before letting out a chuckle, “I’m in front of my house Rin, I got here in one piece” you said and motioned your free hand towards yourself to prove that you were indeed, uninjured. Suna rolled his eyes and bit the inside of his cheek, “you’re clumsy remember, you might fall or something” he muttered and looked away.

You grinned and squeezed his hand, “Awe, look at you caring for me and my wellbeing. My ears might be deceiving me but it sounds like you’re in love with me” you teased and swung your hands together back and forth.

Suna huffed, his mind not properly functioning when the words fell out of his mouth.

“yeah probably”

Simultaneously, his eyes and yours widened and you both froze. 

Both you and Suna blinked at each other twice. Your eyes looked down at your hands that were still interlocked and looked up at his face that was fully drained of any colour. Your heart was beating rapidly against your chest and Suna began to question the very point of his existence.

“W-what?”

“Uh-”

“Y-you said-”

“A-ah I-”

“Oi!” you both jumped and instinctively Suna pulled you closer to him. You looked at up him briefly before turning around to see Granny waiting by the gate with an impatient but also teasing glint in her eyes. “It’s almost 7:30 Yn-chan! You almost missed bingo night! Kiss ya little friend goodnight and come in before Shin and I eat all the mochi we left for ya” she called out but you could hear the teasing tone in her voice.

“C-coming!” you yelled back. Your face was piping hot and you wanted the ground to swallow you whole from the amount of embarrassment and flusteration you were feeling at that moment. 

Granny nodded and walked back inside, and looked up at Shin who was standing with his arms crossed on the porch. Granny walked back to him with a victorious smile on her lips as she gave him a thumbs up. Granny knew what she was doing and she knew what she saw. She’s gonna call and gossip to your mother.

You gulped and took a step back and looked back at Suna. He was still frozen and his mind was racing at what just happened and he too, wanted the ground to swallow him whole. “I-I uh, I guess I gotta go?” you winced, but the tone of your voice made it sound like you were asking a question. Suna nodded, “y-yeah, goodnight I guess” he muttered as he looked away and you watched his face heat up. 

You were both so embarrassed but neither one wanted to let go of the others hand. 

Suna figured he couldn’t keep you out all night and just as he was about to let go of your hand, a sudden wave of confidence went through your veins and you just went ‘fuck it.’

You pulled his arm down towards you taking him back. His eyes widened, “what are you-” you stood slightly on your tippy-toes and kissed his cheek which made him shut up instantly. “That’s for today, thanks. goodbye.” you said frantically. 

Suna froze, too much in shock and his mind was still in the middle of trying to register what just happened and watched as you let go of his hand and covered your face furiously blushing and running off to your gate and slamming it shut.

He stared blankly at the gate door and blinked twice as an attempt to get himself back to reality. He brought his hands up to his cheeks that were on fire. His mind kept replaying the way your soft lips kissed his cheek and could feel the slightest residue of your lip gloss still on his cheek. 

Shit, you really had him wrapped around your finger. 

“Idiot” 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

a/n: BYE STOP IM SO SINGLE THIS IS SAD AND I AM DEVASTATED.

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#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu social media au #haikyuu smau #suna #suna rintarou #suna x reader #suna rintarou x reader #suna smau #suna rintarou smau #inarizaki #club stupid

[kpop-cakepops]

Soulmate: Bells (part 1) // JeonghanxFem!Reader

Ummmmm so mayhaps this ended up being WAY LONGER THAN INTENDED AND WILL HAVE A 2ND PART.

Genre: IDK how to explain it other than VERY light angst mixed with fluff.

Warnings: none

Word count: 3,573 🙊

"I'm sorry Jeonghan... I really thought this would work out. I thought that this soulmate thing wasn't going to sway me" Sowon couldn't maintain eye contact with Jeonghan as she spoke.

"What do you mean?" He asked with a trembling voice.

"Jeonghan... I found my soulmate... and as much as I fought it, everything in me gave up..." She said

Soulmates. It seemed that the older he grew the more he hated the term. Soulmates? Who in their right mind would believe that a little sound you heard on your sixteenth birthday would lead you to the person you were meant to be with for the rest of your life?

Sowon, apparently.

Despite having sworn to each other that soulmates would not make them waver, despite swearing to be together no matter what, no matter how hard and bumpy the road got... yet there she was sitting across from him, telling him she had given up on all those promises.

"Are you telling me you cheated on me?" He asked.

Sowon's eyes met the ground, but the more she refused to talk the more it dawned on Jeonghan, she had. She had cheated on him.

"Sowon-"

"I'm sorry! Please, I'm so sorry. It was the last thing I wanted to do but I couldn't stop myself... Jeonghan it's real. I heard it, the sound of glass clinking against glass. It sounds ridiculous because it's such a trivial thing to hear, but the sound made everything feel so clear, it was like my heart just knew and... Jeonghan, I love him. I don't even know him, but there's this- this part of me that I just can't control. I want to! I want to know him" she cried out. Jeonghan felt like all air had been kicked out of him. How was he meant to respond to that? He'd never experienced what Sowon was talking about, he couldn't even bring himself to imagine it... all he knew was that he didn't want to lose her. "I can't do this to you and I can't do it to him either. I'm sorry... we need to break up"

Tears pricked at Jeonghan's eyes as he watched the girl he loved the most stand from her seat and walk away from him.

That was the last time he saw her.

***

"Turns out his soulmate is a guy named Wonwoo... and he's so much prettier than me too! I seriously, cannot believe this is happening to me again... I was convinced I was his soulmate" you held your phone between your ear and your shoulder as you struggled to pull out a book from its place on the bookshelf. It had been a week since you'd tried to convince Mingyu that he was your soulmate, only for him to find his real soulmate a few days after meeting you.

"Maybe you should stop trying to force every pretty person around you to be your soulmate, Mingyu's bell wasn't even like yours, he was waiting to hear a bike bell and you didn't even hear your bell either, and NO someone yelling Taco Bell isn't a bell. Are you nuts?" Your best friend Soonyoung was on the line eating something as he yelled at you. It was a cycle he was both annoyed with and used to, but he understood. After spending most of your life alone, he understood why you were so adamant about finding your soulmate, the person that was meant to be with you for the rest of your life. The person who would rid you of the fear of dying alone and in pain like those who were never able to meet their soulmates because that's how this world worked. No matter how much you tried, sometimes meeting the one person that was meant to love you, was an impossible task.

"Okay so maybe I didn't hear the bell but I heard a bell" you insisted as you tugged harshly at the book finally managing to free it from its spot but dropping it in the process. You scurried quickly to grab it but a pair of dainty hands beat you to it and pushed the book up to you.

"Thank you" you murmured not paying any attention and walking straight past the stranger.

"You're welcome" answered Soonyoung, and it was almost like she could hear his shit-eating grin.

"Shut up, I wasn't-" you were cut off by the sound of a tinkling bell as the door to the small book store swung open, and suddenly, as if by art of magic everything around you seemed to stop. It was like one of those five gum commercials, at least that's the only thing you could compare it to. All your senses were alive and you couldn't help but feel... aware... of what, you didn't know, but you felt aware. You were reverted to your 16th birthday, sitting alone in your large dining room with no one but your nanny and the sound of a hopeful bell ringing in your mind marking you for the future. "Wait... wait Soonyoung, I heard it. That was it. I heard the bell" you said as turned around quickly to find the person that had just handed you your book.

Your best friend groaned on the other side of the line "Oh god... are you being serious right now? Are you seriously doing this again?"

"Shit... Shit shit shit, where is he? I lost him. He was right behind me-" you rushed over to the spot where you'd dropped the book but no one was there anymore. Then it hit you... the door. The door opened and closed only moments after he handed the book to you, he must have walked out. "Oh no... he left!" You dropped your book and rushed out the door, your phone still in hand as a sense of panic started to fill you.

"Soonyoung, I can't find him. It was him and I don't know what he looks like!" you were starting to freak out. How could you miss him like that? You were also confused. Wasn't the sound supposed to be automatic? As soon as the two of you met the sound was supposed to trigger... for the two of you so why wasn't he there? Were you mistaken?

"Wait, Y/N are you being serious right now?"

"Yes! Soonyoung, it was the bell, but I missed him. Oh god, NOW WHAT?!" You asked as you walked down the sidewalk, eyes roaming every single person in sight in case anything... special or magical happened, but it was to no avail. No one seemed to do anything for her.

"Y/N are you sure you're not just-"

You cut your best friend off in annoyance. "I'll call you back later, I need to find this guy" you grumbled quickly hanging up the call after. You really couldn't find him, he had been in front of you just moments before but he'd disappeared almost as he'd come. A second wave of panic passed you as you looked around helplessly. Tears were pricking at your eyes because despite being childish and immature most of the time, the feeling you got when hearing that bell was nothing like anything you'd felt before... and yet... your soulmate didn't look for you. Your soulmate should have heard the bell too, right? So where was he?

Slowly your biggest fear started materializing before you in the shape of nothingness, in the shape of loneliness. Your soulmate didn't seem to want you or at least didn't seem to care enough to come back and find you.

Except, he had found you. Your very soulmate was staring at you from the bookstore's window with a gaze of confusion, a part of him hated that your sole existence meant he couldn't choose love for himself, that because of the woman on the other side of the glass he could no longer be with the person he chose. That he was predestined to love someone he knew nothing about... yet the other half of him felt an unexplainable urge to walk up to you and hug you like he'd missed you his whole life. Of walking up to you and wiping away the tears you were earnestly trying to hide as you stared at every single person that walked by.

That's why Jeonghan found himself avoiding the bookstore like the plague after that day. He would walk by on occasion wondering if it'd be okay to walk in, but then he'd see you sitting outside the shop waiting for something to happen, and he'd turn right back around. Eventually, you stopped showing up, and although he'd never stopped to talk to you, Jeonghan subconsciously wondered where you'd gone and if you were okay.

After a month of not going, Jeonghan finally dropped by the bookstore when Joshua called him to help him with a new shipment. His friend had grown increasingly curious as to why Jeonghan had been avoiding the store when it seemed the store had been his safe haven since his heart-wrenching breakup.

"Mind telling me what you've been up to lately?" Asked Joshua when the last customer was out the door.

"Studying for exams" Jeonghan lied as he moved the stack of books to be donated into a box.

"Alone?" Asked Joshua curiously.

"Yes alone, who else would I study with?" Asked Jeonghan as he moved his floppy red hair out of his face.

"Oh... alright" Joshua answered.

Unable to hold it in, Jeonghan's best friend spoke again. "I found my soulmate," he said. Joshua knew it was a touchy topic for Jeonghan, but he was his best friend and it was important for him that Jeonghan know.

The red-haired man cleared his throat uncomfortably, he had found his too, but that was not something he necessarily felt like sharing with the world. He had tried convincing himself he was keeping it a secret to show that he was in control of his own mind and emotions, but in reality, he was scared and embarrassed. Scared that he'd be proven wrong about you, that you'd be everything he wanted and dreamed of, and embarrassed that due to his own capriciousness he was hurting you.

"Okay" was all that Jeonghan could muster at the news.

"I want you to meet her," said Joshua as he put unsold books into the same box Jeonghan had been filling.

This caused Jeonghan to pause for a moment. Joshua wanted him to meet his soulmate, "what for?"

Joshua sighed and stood up straight, his big eyes looking straight at his friend. "Because she's important to me and you are my best friend. I want you both to get to know each other."

Unable to say no to his best friend, Jeonghan nodded his head, "okay."

The lack of drive in his usually playful best friend worried Joshua and it pained him to know that if he even tried to bring the worries up, Jeonghan would simply disappear for a few more weeks again. "I invited her out for dinner, her friend will be coming too, so you don't have to worry about third-wheeling"

With a thin forced smile, Jeonghan stood and dusted his hands in front of himself. "Okay"

By the time they finished packing up the boxes, Jeonghan was ushered out of the store. He watched as his friend turned the "open" sign over and locked the door. Subconsciously, Jeonghan's eyes stopped on the silver bell hanging from the door. Memories of the way you had looked on that day, panicked and frantic as you searched the area for him. It made him wonder yet again, what you were up to and if everything was okay with you.

The wait at the restaurant wasn't long. It only took about 5 minutes for a girl to walk in with a bright smile on her face, one that was instantly matched by Joshua's the moment he lay eyes on her. "Hey" she greeted happily.

Jeonghan was too busy watching the two interact to even notice the way you'd followed Joshua's soulmate into the restaurant like a dejected little shadow. The truth was, you hadn't exactly planned on being there. You had been spending the last few weeks feeling sorry for yourself and ignoring your two best friends, for some reason you had started to get comfortable with that way of life, that is until In-na came barging into your home squealing about her soulmate... you couldn't exactly say no to her invitation, and free dinner wasn't exactly a bad idea.

And then you sat down.

You didn't notice him at first. When In-na had told you you'd be meeting her soulmate, you hadn't been thrilled, it almost felt like a slap to the face, but you knew your friend better than to believe her to be evil like that. You knew she had good intentions in mind when she told you her soulmate would be inviting his best friend so you wouldn't feel too much like a third-wheel. It was rude of you, for sure, but since the moment you sat you'd been on your phone texting Soonyoung about how much you hated being there, and trying to convince him to pick you up, but Soonyoung was ignoring you for ignoring him.

"This is my best friend, Y/N" you heard In-na introduce you and for the first time since you'd arrived, you were forced to face the two guys in front of you.

And then you wished you hadn't.

It was him. Everything in your being was SCREAMING that it was him. Every fiber in you knew that the man with hair dyed a deep red, that was sitting across from you at that very moment was him. But something was wrong with him. His big droopy eyes looked like a flashlight that had run out battery, all signs of light were gone and something in you stirred. Was it sadness? Worry? You couldn't pinpoint it.

Then there was Jeonghan, who, unbeknownst to you, saw almost a reflection of himself when he saw you. The burnt-out gaze and the bags under your eyes, except he was the cause for your sadness and then something in him stirred, but unlike you, he knew exactly what it was.

Guilt.

Jeonghan was about to excuse himself to leave but you beat him to it by painting a smile on your face, "nice to meet you guys"

You were mad. Angry. Fuming. He was pretending to not know you. He had pretended from the start because you could tell, even if you didn't want to, you could read him like a book because, despite him not wanting it, you two were entwined for life. Quite literally biologically wired to be together, because that's how society worked, that's how it had worked for centuries.

"Nice to meet you too" greeted Joshua softly, but his eyes we not set on you, just like In-Na's weren't. They were soulmates, after all, they were blind to the world around them... and it was simply disappointing how unlike them you and Jeonghan were.

Dinner was long, the energy emanating from you was directly absorbed by the man sitting across from you. He was uncomfortable, the way you were acting just didn't seem to sit well with him. From the way you picked at your food without taking a single bite, to the way you looked like you would rather be anywhere but where you sat, he felt... worried?

"Who wants ice cream?" Asked In-na and Joshua who, contrary to the 2 extras sitting beside them, were having the time of their lives. You wanted so badly to say you didn't want ice cream, to tell her to take you home, but the light blush that spread across your friend's cheeks and the almost sparkly gaze Joshua stared at her with, didn't allow you to make such a request. So instead you remained silent, and to no one's surprise so did Jeonghan.

"I know a great place, I'll go pay for the food, and then I'll drive us there," Joshua announced.

With that, he walked in direction of the front counter, leaving behind the love of his life and the two dysfunctional soulmates that refused to so much as look at each other. "Isn't he amazing? Isn't he, Y/N?" In-na gushed.

You smiled genuinely, if anything good had come out of that dinner it was the amount of joy it brought your best friend. "He's awesome, In-na. You two really are made for one another"

She clasped your hand in hers and grinned softly. "Thank you for coming. I promise we'll find your soulmate soon" she mentioned mindlessly. It was beyond frustrating to see Jeonghan lift his head from the corner of your eyes, his expression almost clueless.

"I'm going to go outside, I need to make a call real quick, yeah?"

In-na nodded, but you doubted she even heard what you said as her eyes were trained on the man paying at the front counter. With a sigh, you stepped out of your seat and took yourself out of the restaurant. The fresh air outside and the fact that you were no longer around Jeonghan seemed to decompress your lungs.

As if on autopilot, your fingers tapped at the screen of your phone calling Soonyoung.

"I don't know if you realize this, but I'm ignoring you" the man on the other end snapped as he answered the phone.

Hearing his voice made your heart twist in relief because despite being a dumb jerk sometimes, Soonyoung was your best friend. He was your comfort and that's precisely what you needed: comfort. "Soonyoung..." you hadn't noticed you were on the verge of tears until you spoke his name.

All signs of pettiness were gone from his voice as he answered, "y/n. Are you crying?"

"Listen, I get that you're upset with me, but I really, really, need you to come pick me up" you begged, forcing yourself to swallow the lump in your throat. "I promise you can go right back to ignoring me once you drop me off home"

"Where are you? I'll be there in 5 minutes."

"I'll send you the address. Just please come."

You hung up the call, hands wiping at your eyes quickly until a hand reached out before you, the same hand that had handed you a book back then, except this time it was handing you a tissue. You sniffle a bit before snatching it from him and blowing your nose obnoxiously.

Jeonghan didn't say anything as you both stood side by side waiting for Soonyoung to pick you up. He was still feeling guilty, but what exactly was he supposed to say? I'm in love with someone else? No, of course not, because the more he watched you, the more he forgot what Sowon looked and sounded like, and the more he stood in your proximity feeling all types of emotions... the more he forgot what 'loving' Sowon had ever felt like. Was he supposed to tell you that he hated you for something that was entirely out of your, his, and even Sowon's control when all he could focus on was how nice your hair smelled and how good the warmth of your body felt even when he wasn't touching you?

Exactly 5 minutes went by in loud silence until a car drove up to the curve. You pushed yourself off the wall you'd been leaning on and turned to look at your sullen soulmate, who had instinctively followed suit stepping away from the wall in alarm. You huffed in frustration as you watched him. You wanted to tell him off so badly, and yet his big eyes were now telling you he was just as confused as you about all the sudden feelings you were both feeling, you were so flustered you ended up walking away. Then you thought about it twice and turned right back around and stopped right before Jeonghan, your hand grabbing his causing his eyes to meet yours directly for the first time that night. "You, if you run away again and pretend to not know me, I will find you and... I don't know what I'll do yet, but Joshua will tell me where you are. I will make sure of it." you warned him, "bye." The bite in your words made him wince.

He wanted to answer and maybe even apologize but you didn't give him a chance to as you walked up to the car that was waiting for you across the street. A man within the car was glaring at him through squinted eyes, surely he was trying to intimidate Jeonghan, but all Soonyoung really did was make Jeonghan uncomfortable.

"Stop staring at him and drive" you grumbled bringing your friend back to reality.

At that moment both In-na and Joshua stepped out of the restaurant with bright smiles. "Where's Y/N?" asked In-na, big eyes searching the area for you.

Jeonghan didn't find it in him to answer her. The buzzing feeling in the hand you'd held was too intriguing to him.

"Can I have her address?" Jeonghan blurted.

The couple stared at him as if he'd grown a third head. "Um, why would you need that?" asked his best friend in confusion.

Because maybe having a soulmate isn't as bad as I'd thought it'd be.

#yoon jeonghan #jeonghan #jeonghan au #soulmate au #SVT soulmate au #seventeen #svt #jeonghan soulmate au #seventeen jeonghan #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan fic #jeonghan angst #soulmate jeonghan #jeonghan oneshot #jeonghan imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #kpop #seventeen kpop #seventeen fic #jeonghan x you

[ask-the-six-human-souls]

How do you feel about the ending of Chapter 2?

BELOW WILL BE SPOILERS FOR DELTARUNE CHAPTER 2! PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

So, YEAH I have a lot of feelings about the end of Chapter 2.

Though, a few things I thought were interesting while looking around Hometown:

1. If you go up to the second floor in the library, you can read a book that say it has "Photos of unfamiliar humans inside" but Kris closes the book immediately after that. All I have to say is...WHO ARE THE HUMANS?? THE HUMAN SOULS? FRISK AND CHARA?? I wanna know,,,Also Kris closed the book immediately, which probably indicates that they might not like humans.

2. The whole Asgore/Sans/Toriel conversation in the store was so awkward, but, when Asgore talks to Sans, he says something like "yeah I keep my flowers in jars and I talk to them" and...like...the flowers are the colors of the human souls...right?? So...in Undertale...could Asgore ALSO talk to the souls? Like hes saying he can talk to the flowers? Or...is he just, like, sad and crazy? I dunno.

3. Something very scary happened at the Bunker. I dont know what it could have been, but I want to know what the rumor was that MK and Snowy were talking about.

4. If you got into the hospital, and try to play the piano infront of Susie. Susie notes that, after she insults you for playing bad, Kris's expression is angry. Why are they angry? Could it be that we, or whoever is "controlling" them made their playing sound bad infront of Susie? They know how to play, since its hinted at a few times...so are they annoyed that we made them sound bad infront of their friend?

Or...are they just mad about Susie insulting them?

5. Napstablooks alarm is the best OST in the game.

ANYWAY with those out of the way, I can talk about the ending.

Which FREAKED me out...though I can't believe bathroom cabinets and couches are so effective when holding a human soul lol.

So, obviously, Kris opened a Dark Fountain...so, they, or their soulless self, is the Knight. Kind of ironic, since they wear a knights outfit in the Dark World.

What I think, is that the soul, that is thought to be either Chara/Frisk or us, the player, its actually Kris? Or, perhaps a mix of the player and Kris. And the Knight pulls out the soul so that they can create Dark Fountains without being stopped by Kris or us.

That, or, the soul is still us, and Kris doesn't want us to stop them from creating Dark Fountains, because creating these worlds...these adventures...its the only thing they can do to have friends...Ralsei, Lancer, Susie...

Without the Dark World, none of them would be their friend. If it wasn't for the Dark World, Susie wouldn't be friends with them. And she'd probably still bully them.

And that TV with the smiling face at the end...reminded me of Omega Flowey, kinda...

Idk, those are my thoughts and I guess "theories" about the ending.

I really enjoyed everything about Chapter 2 though!! It was so fun to play, even though things were a lot more difficult than Chapter 1...mostly the battles, but, lol I sucked at dodging in Undertale, too.

Overall, I loved it! And I'm excited for what comes next! Its gonna be interesting to see what a TV/Kris's House Dark World is like!

#deltarune chapter 2 #deltarune spoilers #undertale #undertale blog #undertale ask blog #ask the six human souls #ask blog #askblog #asks #ask #six human souls #kris deltarune #videogames #deltarune theory

[multiplefandomsblog]

Can i request how different idv characters would act as roommates? Eli, Helena, Luca, Edgar, Vera, Norton and Fiona if thats alright with you :DDD

warnings? kinda suggestive, crack fic, cussing

mod toby and mod bread helped me do this fic, its a bit all over the place but it was fun so no regrets

Eli Clark

I feel like being roommates with eli would be pretty pleasant

everything would be clean all the time

he’s the type of kid that everyone wants on their team because of how good he is at everything

so if you scored a roomie like him, you got super lucky

if you left a mess he wouldn’t get mad, he would probably just clean it up himself and leave a sticky note that said to clean up ur mess next time(but not like, passive aggressively)

ofc you would clean up after the cute sticky note, bc who can say no to this bb? 

If you don’t clean up tho, brooke rose will probably shit on your hair when u sleep

tbh you’ve always wondered what eli looked like without his eye mask

so one time when Eli was sleeping, you went next to his bed to try and take his eye mask off and see what he looks like.

You took off the mask and found out it was a dummy 

a few seconds later you heard footsteps and you turned around

Eli came up behind you and knocked you out with a bat

you two don’t speak of that day.

Brooke kept screeching last night, and you got no sleep at all, so I guess we’re having chicken for dinner 

Unless you had a good reason, then eli and brooke prob won’t mind cleaning up after u

I can imagine you going back to your shared room in the manor after a rough match and seeing eli just sweeping the room in an apron and a cloth covering his hair looking like cinderella

“Honey, I’m home!”

basically if you lived with eli, you basically had a husband/mom/wife???

If you came back to the manor, beaten up and bruised from the last match he would prob pester you and nag you

while cleaning up you wounds he would prob say, “You have to be more careful, im always worrying. You’re gonna give your mom a heart attack!”

seriously tho, don’t worry this bb, he would actually have a heart attack

Helena Adams

i think living with helena would probably feel like some sort of kdrama

she might be a bit clumsy and trip over a few things, falling into your arms bc of her blindness

though she might be doing it on purpose

If you moved things in the room without telling her, she would probably get mad

for example, you move the sofa chair a little bit to the right bc you thought it looked better

helena walks in the room, sits down on the sofa chair and ends up accidentally sitting on the sofa chair arm rest instead

resulting in her bottom hurting and a very long talk with you

she got her revenge weeks later

she had asked you to check under her bed for monsters because she couldn’t do it herself

you were teasing her for still being afraid of monsters but looked underneath anyways

low and behold, 

she put a mirror there.

will even wack you with her cane if you’re being annoying

Her cane is pretty affective in shutting you up lol only sometimes

“Hey Helena, are you braille? ‘cause i can read you like a book when i touch yo-” *wack* *moans*

helena: ...

you: ...

helena: ...im leaving

you: heleNA WAIT-

One time everyone at the manor was celebrating Helena’s birthday with a piñata, 2 seconds later she was beating the shit out of Luca with her cane

even after everyone’s been yelling that he wasn’t the piñata

One time you and Helena had a staring contest because you were both bored.

She won.

sometimes to get her close to you, you would sit on the sofa chair super quietly and still

And then you’d wait for her to come and sit on your lap thinking it was the chair

and it would work 

she would probably sit on your lap for a few minutes, confused as to why the chair felt elevated

and then she would feel your arms snake around her waist

and she would- “whAT THE FUCK- SCREEEEEEE”

she would probably make a cute bird noise and then just sit there, not knowing if she should leave or not

in her head, “THEIR LAP IS SO WARM OH MY GOD WHY DIDN’T THIS HAPPEN SOONER”

in real life, “let go of me you pathetic mortal”

you’d beg her to stay on ur lap longer and she would cave in

but she didn’t stay because she liked you! baka

Luca Balsa

living with luca will probably be the opposite of eli’s

messes, everywhere

inventions, everywhere

at one point though you had a sneaking suspicion he might be a bunch of rats.

 you saw him outside crouching beside you guys’ room with a bunch of rats coming out his sleeve and running into a crack in the building

“its for science!”

he’s also super scared of helena

Luca doesn’t like to admit it, but he got his purple eye from Helena after he made a bad pick-up line for the blind. 

She’s been chanting “one of us” and threatening to “finish the job” ever since.

he’s basically a big baby that needs to be taken care of

i feel like he might break down sometimes from not doing his invention right, or feeling insecure

but i guess his rats are there to help

but since he had a roomie, he wouldn’t be able to cry on his own

and its a good thing because he doesnt have to do everything by himself anymore

he learns to ask for help when living with you

you’d help him through his episodes and he would slowly start to become more reliant on you

if he was feeling a bit moody, he would unconsciously try to find you to cuddle with

if you lived with him, you’d probably have to be very responsible

luca would have his own bed that he would never sleep in because he wouldn’t be able to sleep without you in his arms

everytime he shifts in bed, you’d feel a tiny shock

it kinda bothered you so

you pranked Luca by touching him with those zappy ring things you’d get from a dollar store.

You just wanted that mother fucker to get a taste of his own medicine

he would basically be a puppy that follow you around, he would constantly old your head

probably refers to you as his

like if you downed a shot that barmaid made for you, he would be like, “EYYYY THATS MY BABy-heurghrhgh”

now you have a drunk baby that you have to take care of

You tried giving luca a shower afterwards, now you know how it feels getting electrocuted.

And trust me, Luca and water do not mix.

good luck have fun

Edgar Valden

living with edgar would consist of 

1. edgar being super specific of what was his and what you can’t touch

2. big tsundere baby

3. sketches of you hiding in his sketch book

if you lived with edgar, you’d have to be super patient with his nagging or else you’d have to find a new roomie

he’s constantly nagging you

but if you are tired of it and give him the silent treatment, he’d probably just nag you even more for attention

you need to give this man attention or else

you ignored him for a whole day once because he said something mean

he decided to give you some milk and cookies as an apology

the ‘milk’ was his muddy paint water and the cookies were expired

i feel like one day you two would be arguing about who moved his stuff, your argument being he unconsciously moved his stuff, his argument being you moved his stuff

you guys were so heated up you didn’t notice how close you two were getting

edgar ended up pouncing on you like a feral dog

though when you woke up, you both agreed that you ended up winning the argument

when you’re reading or just doing nothing, he’d ask to sketch you or paint you

i-its not because he thinks you’re beautiful or anything

its just because he thinks that your whole self is aesthetically pleasing and pleasing to the eye- but not because he thinks you’re pretty!

sometimes when he was super focused on his art, he wouldn’t notice your figure slowly approach him

you’d boop his nose and watch as he froze

wh- hoW DARE YOU LAY YOUR HANDS ON A VALDEN

secretly tho, he really loves it when you do that.

like

do it more

please or not whatever

Vera Nair

Vera would probably be a bit anxious when she heard she was gonna get a roomie

but she would do her best to be at her best behaviour

she’s very well mannered and is very polite

she’d kinda be the type to silently care for you

like, she’d notice the little things that bothered you and made sure they wouldn’t bother you ever again

like, if you stubbed your toe alot, she would give everything that you could stub your toe with, rubber covers or socks

but she wouldn’t tell you it was her even though it was obviously her

if you fell asleep on your desk instead of your bed, she would probably but a blanket on ur shoulders and a pillow underneath where you left your head

she’s the thoughtful type

before you went for matches, she’d give you a cheek kiss for good luck

and if you did the same, she would probably play it cool but then panic a second later.

theykissedmetheykissedmetheykissedme-

im sorry this is short idk what to do for her-

Norton Campbell

oh BOY

once norton starts to warm up to you, you guys are basically married

like there was no proposal, just “do you take this man to be your husband- you can’t say no”

he would probably take care of you alot

even when you didn’t need it

i can do it mysel- no

but actually, before he warmed up to you he was pretty cold, 

he felt himself growing feelings for you

and he didn’t want to because he was afraid he would lose you and he would have to go through the heartbreak of losing someone all over again

he would leave the room to go hang out somewhere else

he would keep his distance and not talk with you much

but there was this one time where you woke up with him around you, you just pretended you didn’t wake up and relished in the feeling

it took some time, but eventually he warmed up to you

though he still constantly worries about you, he doesn’t want you to get hurt

during matches he would always take hits for you, and just stay closer to you in general

he wanted to make sure you got back to the manor safely, it didn’t matter if he was sent back via rocket chair

he always put you as his #1 priority

he also gets jealous super easily, he’s scared someone will swoop you away from him

so to make sure everyone knows that you belong to him, he’d give you his clothes to wear

not only do his clothes look adorable on you, everyone will know that you’re his

probably pester you a lot if you tripped or got a paper cut

“yoU COULD HAVE DIED” “IT WAS A PAPER CUT”

Once, Norton got stuck to the fridge like a magnet for 5 hours

He’s been using that as an excuse to force you to bring him his snacks every since.

pick up lines are a definite yes

sometimes you’d be shitting and you’d hear outside the bathroom door a faint,

“My love for you is like Diarrhea.” “norton what the fuck im shitting-” “i just can’t hold it in” cue camera zooming in on his face and him smirking into the camera “OH MY GOD WHY”

like Luca, his bed is useless. he always needs you in his arms when sleeping, he wants to protect you and just feel you closer to him

puts him at ease

kisses? hell yes.

if you had to go to a match without him he would send you off with a ton of gross wet kisses on your face ew

He might even try to seduce you into staying

“norton I’m gonna lose morality points!” “fuck your morality points, i wanna smash”

Fiona Gilman

I feel like fiona would probably super psyched when she heard about sharing rooms with you

I headcanon her to be super bubbly and social but when she is alone with her thoughts she’d probably regret everything 

“why did i say that why did i say that why did i say that-”

probably prays to god, “please kill me”

she tries her best to make sure you’re comfortable

she doesnt make a big mess and she makes sure she cleans up after herself, overall a pretty cool roommate

except for those times for when she tries to babtize you while you’re showering-

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING” “THE LORD SHALL CLEANSE YOUR SOUL WITH HOLY WATER-” “what the f- iS THIS ALCOHOL???”

this has happened too many times^^^

one time she accidentally created an ultra portal in the toilet. 

Y’all still have no idea where it leads, and no intent of finding out. 

Although, Kreacher has been complaining of some nasty stuff appearing in his room

i feel like during matches she would always call you with her portals to say hi or just give you a small kiss

it stopped being cute when she went through the portal and ended up seeing the hunter instead of you

mentally scarred from that

sometimes things would disappear in your shared room too, not only the toilet

you’re convinced she has a bunch of hidden portals in the room

like, one time you dropped a pencil and it went through the ground.

you never saw it again

Or you know that missing sock?

Portaled.

i dont know what this turned into

#identity v #identity v fluff #identity v angst #identity v prisoner #identity v prospector #identity v norton campbell #norton campbell #helena adams #minds eye #minds eye x reader #norton x reader #norton campbell x reader #luca x reader #luca balsa x reader #identity v fanfiction #identity v headcanons #headcanons #helena x reader #helena adams x reader #prisoner x reader #prospector x reader #edgar x reader #edgar #edgar valden #painter idv #edgar valden x reader #painter x reader #luca #norton #priestess

[littlemisslipbalm]

“you get me” (famous!y/n x harry)

Famous!y/n x Harry Styles

First Harry fic so please be kind, but feedback is SUPER appreciated

Initially inspired by the picture of Harry leaving the Gucci store with 15 bags but barely has anything to do with that lol

Definitely thought of Ellen for the interview idk why tho - also I struggle with writing Harry’s dialogue because I really want to get it right, but hopefully the more practice I get, the better/more natural it will sound. ALSO i have like no music or music industry background lol. Somewhat proofread, but its 2:30 am so it could be shit

Fluff!

Warnings: maybe some angst over being famous per say, past loneliness

Word Count: 3.7k literally howwww, i’m going to do a pt. 2 though because it was kind of a long set up and feelingsssss

---

Interviewer: Please, welcome our next guest, a woman who’s sure to have her name written up beside the music greats someday, Ms. Y/N L/N!

You can’t contain the grin that spreads to your face as you carry yourself out onto the stage and see the audience cheering for you. It was your third big interview since your first album had been released and you’d seen your fame skyrocket over night. This being the third one this week meant you’d gotten comfortable getting asked questions, but you also weren’t bored of it yet. It was exhilarating being the center of attention, especially for something that had been your life’s work up until this point. You always had to fight for whatever you got and the recognition you were starting to have was reassurance that you hadn’t been a fool to risk a safe and certain life for your dreams.

The interview begins as the rest had, a few pleasantries, how you were feeling, and then the introduction of the album. The host asked you what your inspiration was for some of the songs and the album name and cover. You loved to talk about the music, it was the whole reason you were there. The meaning, the sound, the name, it all meant so much to you and you talked about how music can be interpreted differently by everyone and even the shifts in someone’s mood can change a song’s meaning, but what it meant to you at the time of writing was always something specific. You practiced those answers in the mirror before the interviews because they were important to you and you didn’t want your words on your art to ever be misconstrued. The host then complimented your style and you were at the point where you thought your interview should be wrapping up when they asked you one more question, and it threw you for a loop.

Interviewer: So Y/N, we’ve been hearing some rumblings around, about you and another famous musician, Mr. Harry Styles. Anything going on there?

Your face heated up, you hadn’t been expecting a personal question about possible relationships. Nothing like this had been asked of you at your previous interviews. It’s about the music, the art, and who you were, it’s always about that and nothing more. To be honest, you were a bit annoyed the host had chosen to stray from those topics. You didn’t care for the celebrity side of being a famous musician, the lack of privacy, the prying eyes of media and the general public. They saw enough of you through your art, you bore your soul through music why did they want to peak into your heart as well?

Y/N: I don’t know if I’d rather be with Harry Styles or actually be Harry Styles. Like, he’s literally such an icon, I want to be able to walk out of a Gucci store after spending hours there with 15 bags full of my purchases and helpers to carry it all out c’mon… He’s also an amazing songwriter, musician, and performer, of course. Didn’t mean to sound superficial, but I’d also love to own even half of his closet.

You hadn’t really answered the question, but the audience laughed and the host obviously got the hint that you weren’t interested in fanning any flames of romance with Harry Styles or anyone else. For one, you didn’t even know the man, but you had always been a loving fan of his. You cited him as one of your role models when you were first starting to try and break into the music world. Second, if you did know him, that wouldn’t be an appropriate topic for your album press junket going on, even if it meant more publicity because of Harry’s big celebrity status. The host decided to qualify their original question with a final sentiment.

Interviewer: I totally feel the same way! I only ask because the outpouring of support you’ve received seems to be from similar groups who also follow Harry. Many have been comparing your sound to his solo career work.

Y/N: Ah...well that’s very kind of people to say. He’s definitely a big inspiration, his creativity and drive is incredible. I’d love to be as successful as him someday.

The interview ended. You and the host shook hands and you waved and sent kisses to the crowd before retreating backstage. You were exhausted, but happy. You hoped to avoid anymore stressful interview questions that didn’t truly revolve around music. Of course, life is never that simple.

-

One month later

You had done countless more interviews and talk shows as promo for your album and the buzz around it had continued to grow. Your fame continued to rise as well and that one question you had dodged at your third interview had come back around to bite you, naturally. Daily Mail’s dumb headline read: “Y/N can’t decide! Date Harry Styles or Steal His Closet?” The Sun was also running with your response and miscontruing it completely, something about how you were madly in love with Harry but jealous of his designer partnerships, you couldn’t even stomach reading the garbage. This was your worst nightmare. Not only was it taking away the focus from your album, but you were also sure this dumb gossip had reached the very set of ears that the gossip was allegedly also about.

You had signed with Columbia Records for your first album, the same record label as Harry Styles, so managers had been in contact with one another about the whole fiasco trying to get the actual truth - which was that the two of you didn’t even know each other and there were no problems whatsoever. Your manager also brought along the good news that Harry had actually listened to your album and loved it, “He said ‘Congratulations’ by the way, loved the sound. Said he’d heard you were very music focused and be open to do some mentoring on songwriting and vocal specifics, if you wanted. It’d have to be in private though, obviously.” She had added the last bit, but you understood why. To have the opportunity to discuss your music with one of your longtime role models, heroes even, was beyond anything you could have imagined coming from your album’s success. And it made the drama all the more palatable because now you at least got to talk to Harry like the media was so adamantly saying you were doing already.

You nodded quickly and agreed, while trying to keep your teenage fangirl excitement hidden below your mature now-famous musician facade. Like you said, Harry was your hero, he’d been your hero since you were in middle school and had Up All Night downloaded on your iPod touch, blasting it as loud as possible, sound hitting your poster-filled walls. You weren’t the same girl as you were then, obviously, you had grown up to be a strong, independent, and confident woman. But, you still smiled at the thought of your younger self with your baby face squealing in the nosebleeds at the Take Me Home Tour (where you swore Harry had looked straight at you) and her seeing you now, dressed in a sleek outfit setting up an appointment to meet with Harry to discuss your first album, a success.

-

The next Thursday evening

You took a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your pursed lips. You were anxious and excited at the exact same time. Your meeting with Harry was tonight, right now actually, and you hadn’t been able to think about much else since your manager had confirmed the meeting last week. She got you the details a couple of days ago, the location: his house in Malibu, the time: 5:45 P.M. You had brought along a copy of your album on vinyl because you thought it sounded best this way, second only to performing it live.

Choosing your outfit for tonight was probably the toughest decision you’d ever made, harder than choosing between an education and following your dreams, harder than choosing your favorite Beatles song. You didn’t want to worry so much, this wasn’t a date you kept reminding yourself, but everything you tried on earlier kept having something wrong with it, too dressy, too boring, too ‘not yourself’. You had settled for these blue high-waisted pants that you’d worn to your first ever podcast interview, a thin black long sleeve, and a brown leather coat that fell below your hips with vans sneakers, casual, simple, yet still true to you and your vibe.

You raised your free arm and formed a fist, hesitant to knock, as if you’d damage Harry’s seemingly perfect Malibu beachfront home by knocking too hard on the wooden front door. You waited a few moments and could here some shuffling behind the door, some incoherent words were seemingly said, but the walls muffled them before they could reach for ears. Soon enough, Harry Styles in the flesh was before you. He beamed down at you, huffing, slightly out of breath as if he had been clear across the house when you knocked. His strong figure towered above your far smaller stature. He was hanging onto the door since he had opened it only slightly. “Hello, Y/N?” he greeted and questioned simultaneously. “Hi,” you responded and extended the same hand that had just rapped against his now open door. He gripped it, ushering you into his home, “Come in, come in, it’s nice to meet you, don’t want you to catch a cold now do we?” He took note of your strong handshake and ring clad fingers.

He walked you into an area between the kitchen and a sitting area. The kitchen was open aside from a bar high top between the two rooms. You sat down at his prompting and made yourself comfortable. “I brought my record on vinyl, sounds best in my opinion, otherwise I’d recommend seeing it live,” you laughed as you handed the vinyl to him and took off your coat. “Technically, y’know, I could hear it live right now, if you were willin’ f’course,” Harry had responded over his shoulder as he placed the vinyl by his idle record player, “Anything to drink?” “Just water for me, please.” His accent was even stronger in person, especially since he had moved back to London and seldomly stayed in California, except for business and quick trips. As far as you knew, he had already been here on business for the week and was able to pencil you in.

You two settled in, with your waters, seated at the bar top beside each other, but swivelling the chairs to face one another more. Again, you were overwhelmed with the reality of the situation, sitting beside Harry Styles as professionals, peers even. He had heard your work and liked it enough to want to discuss it with you. It was a day you never thought would come to pass. He started off not by asking about the music right away, but about how you were doing with the whirlwind that stardom is. “How are you, Y/N? It’s been somewhat of a out of the frying pan into the fire kind of moment for you?” He stared at you intently, caring to hear your answer.

You couldn’t help but chuckle again and contain your smile, “Thank you for asking, Harry. Yeah, its been definitely stressful, but it’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more so the good is still outweighing any bad. Definitely, fucking exhausted though, dunno how many more interviews I can do before my jaw goes completely rigid from talking so much.” It’s Harry’s turn to laugh, his eyes shone with intrigue at what you said and how you said it. You were gorgeous, but it was how your hands helped you through what you were trying to say and the small laughs you tried to keep in while you amused yourself with your words that really made him want to hear you talk all night long.

He agreed about how the promo junket for an album can get tedious and tiresome, but also the absolute fulfillment you get from people loving the music you’ve made. The two of you chatted about surface level personal matters for a little more, but quickly moved to the music. “I took a listen a couple weeks after the album was released. I especially loved the last track. It reminded me so much of a song I never released, actually…” he trailed off.

Your final track had been a ballad, an homage to George Harrison with your use of guitar and sitar, but the lyrics were a story based off of a poem you had written one night in high school. It surrounded a girl never feeling quite good enough for the person she wanted to be with and how it happened everytime, everytime she was ready to giver herself to someone, they were always closed off. Of course it held some truth to your own life and feelings, but you wrote this girl as someone with a seemingly perfect life - when yours was obviously far from any semblance of perfection.

You wondered what Harry’s song would have sounded like, had it been about a seemingly perfect girl or a guy with a seemingly perfect life, always giving himself to the wrong person and getting destroyed by that very fact because he was impatient as the girl in your song had been. “Can I ask, how so? How’d it remind you of your own song, the words or the music?” “Oh, the story, I felt like that for a time in my life and I like to be vulnerable in my songs because it helps me process, but listening to it back has always been too painful. Could never release that or perform it, it’d wreck me.” You nodded, you completely got where he was coming from. You noticed his downcast eyes and his somber tone, you knew not to push it any further.

It was quiet and you decided it’d be okay to take his hand resting between the two of you. “Harry, I understand,” your sincerity spilled into the words, filling the quiet house, “It’s not easy. Feeling that way. Thinking you’re the only goddamn one and why the fuck does it always happen to you? I used to ask my ceiling ‘why me?’ every night of high school” you smiled then. “But you know how it is,” you rubbed your thumb over his large warm hand and he lifted his head, “it gets so much better - c’mon look at us now! It can get hard, too, all this, I’m sure. But our lives? They’re amazing!” He beamed as he had when he had first seen you at his door and when you’d first really spoke. He moved his hand from under your palm to weave your fingers with his, both of your hands with covered in rings and they clinked to fit together, finally resting perfectly fitted. He shook your two hands up and down, “God, you’re so right! That damn song, m’sorry always puts me in a mood,” he shakes his head, “not yours though, f’course, s’lovely, better than my sodding song” he finishes quickly.

After that, the mood lightened right back up. It filled you with such appreciation for Harry that he would trust you so much with such a personal detail since you two had just met. But maybe, he had trusted you because he had felt that same spark between you. It wasn’t necessarily a romantic spark, but it was obvious the two of you were kindred spirits. Besides your album, the two of you talked about everything. You loved the same bands, movies and books, you both loved to cook and had similar fashion taste, you even had the same person type - something you found out late into the night.

At the end of the Side B of your album, Harry switched to a Bill Evans record that had ‘Peace Piece’ on it. You loved that song. So did he. “So...planning to raid my closet?” Harry raised his brows from the record player and walked back to you. You almost sputtered the water in your mouth. Luckily, you got it down. “Pardon?” “All that bad press the two of us have been getting...I watched the interview that kind of ignited the tabloids. You’re obviously not used to those overstepping personal questions.” You nodded. “It’s fine, even if you’d completely shut it down, the tabloids probably would have picked it up still, they snap up anything and everything, true or not.” You softened at his reassurance. You hadn’t expected Harry to bring the interview up, but you were sure he wasn’t happy about it, he was so private, especially about his love life. “Thanks, I’m sorry I tried to laugh it off, kind of made it worse, didn’t I?” “No! Thought it was hilarious and I totally appreciated the sentiment. Little ol’me, an icon? And an amazing artist? All I gotta do is watch that clip and I’ve fed my narcissistic side for the week!” You giggled and replied slyly, “So does that mean I can raid your closet? As compensation, of course.” Harry threw his head back in an all consuming laughter, when he’d composed himself he looked in your eyes again and said, “You just...God, you get me.”

Harry had continued to put records on throughout the night, diligently flipping sides and asking for requests, he of course had an extensive collection. The two of you had moved onto his plush couch that looked out his french doors to the beautiful ocean view. Finally, your exhaustion caught up to you, mid-Harry describing his latest travel fiasco, you glanced up at the clock. You gasped. Harry stopped. “When did it get to be half 12?” you questioned almost incredulously, “I’ve gotta get home, Harry, but this has been truly amazing, more than I could have asked for, so thank you.” Your speech began to rush as you started to get up and gather your things, that had slowly scattered as you’d gotten more comfortable, jacket by the table, shoes around the back of the couch, your phone forgotten somewhere in the couch. You couldn’t believe you’d spent almost seven hours just talking with Harry Styles.

Harry quickly stood up from his relaxed positioned on the couch and asked if you were alright to drive this late. You scoffed, “Oh please, I’ve driven around at 3 am before, I just have to turn up the music and I can cruise.” He smiled, “This was great, Y/N, I know we didn’t really go super in depth into your writing process, but I’d love to write with you sometime or just hang out again f’course. Your seriously talented and obviously a wonderful person.” He didn’t include that he felt like he’d never met anyone like you, never met someone so perfectly matched to himself, in passions but also in work ethic and demeanor - compassionate yet confident. He felt like you got him perfectly and he got you. You had stopped your scramble to gather yourself and now you were both smiling at one another.

This had really been an unforgettable night, you couldn’t believe how well you two had meshed, like childhood friends reconnecting after years apart. “Can I give yeh a hug before you go?” Harry’s voice had grown raspier as the night had progressed. He had grown rather tired an hour ago, but had pushed through because they had been having so much fun and you hadn’t noticed his physical fading or the time, obviously. You stepped toward him and his large tattooed arms enveloped you into his body. His body truly dwarfed yours now as he held you to his chest. You both were warm and soft. He tucked his head on top of yours that rested on his chest. Your arms were loosely resting where his back met his waist because you would have had to strain to get them to encircle him. His arms rested around your small frame. “Love your jacket,” he mumbled into your hair. His rough voice was quiet, but the house was silent otherwise, Tusk Side C had finished around when you had noticed the time. The embrace lasted long, but it felt so amazing you had a hard time pulling yourself away, but you had to get back home.

“G’night Harry” you said softly at the threshold of his home. He had insisted on walking you to the front door at least, since you had declined his offer to walk you out to your car on the street. “G’night. Safe travels.”

You got in your car and headed to your apartment in the city. You didn’t bother digging for your phone so you turned on the radio and drove home singing whatever came on, including your own song at one point. The whole time you drove with a grin. Harry was the nicest person you’d ever met and you were confident that the two of you were friends now. As you pulled into your parking garage it dawned on you why you hadn’t connected your phone immediately when you got in your car. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” you put the car in park and rested your palms in the depressions of your eyesockets, over your closed eyelids, and rubbed hard. “Fuck!” It was far too late to drive back out to Malibu for your phone and you obviously couldn’t text Harry that you’d left your phone at his place, despite the two of you exchanging numbers during the night for future hang outs, so they didn’t have to be arranged through your managers, like playdates. Even if he found your phone between the cushions, he couldn’t drop it at your place in the morning because he didn’t know your address. This was a whole mess, you thought. You’d have to drive over in the morning and hope he was still there or email your manager from your computer. The former meant you got to see Harry sooner and likely your phone, too.

part 2

-

@berrynarrybanana​

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #har #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fan fic #I DID IT #I sat down and wrote it #and it took forever #and I need to write a second part but I made something coherent #one direction fanfiction #not my gifs #my writing #I love you h #you get me #my writings

[goodlucksnez]

Can we get ms joke and pmic pranking Aizawa with snzing powder? Idk. I think that’d be fun

Omg OMG OMG YES!! Enjoy!

This whole scheme began on a normal august day. The weather had just started to turn chilly. Sweaters were taken out of storage and local café were serving hot drinks to take out the chill in the air. The three heroes sat around a booth in a local shop sipping their drinks and talking about the new school year.

Mic had been nursing a cold that he was caulking up to allergies and Jokes was enjoying the laugh it brought when the fatal question was asked.

“Hey sweetie, have I ever heard you sneeze?” the Green haired Pro asked with a smile creeping up on her face.

The tired man glanced up from the magazine he was pretending to read. “Don’t call me that” he said before he continued “I doubt you would have; I normally do not show weakness on patrol or in general.” Before the loud blond could respond he continued. “Mic has only because he has insisted upon taking care of me throughout the years, no matter how many times I refuse it.”

Mic who had been blowing his nose piped up. “Aww don’t be so coy Eraser you loved it!”

The Smiling hero spoke up. “So, what is it like?”

“Well, he is annoying loud and” He was interrupted by the Po continuing “No no, your sneeze, what is it like?

This caught the man off guard. He stammered out. “I.. I don’t know a normal sneeze. Why?”

“No reason” she said with a grin and soon this conversation as dropped.

Two weeks later the group was out for their every two-week friend hang out. When Eraser when to the bathroom and Jokes pulled out a little baggie of a white substance. Mic the naturally curious and inquisitive asked. “What cha got there?”

“Well remember when I mentioned that I have never heard Eraser sneeze. I checked with my agency and it turns out that we have a product called ACHOO, basically its sneezing powder and well” She grinned. “Let’s have some fun.”

Mic shook his head and began puling napkins out of the dispenser while laughing. “Oh, this is gonna be so great!”

“Shh here he comes!”

As Eraser slid into the booth both of the pros smiled. “What?” the dark-haired man asked.

“Nothing hey Eraser is that Eri?” She asked pointing behind him. When he turned around, she got the packet out and when he turned around to face them again she threw the powder in his face.

As he coughed and waved his hands in front of his face. “What the hell sniff Jokes wh- heh is tha “Hh!… heh’t— guh… hh-hh!… HAH’t—!”

“Aht’NDJSHuh!” That one had caught him by surprise, but he managed to turn away from his friends and the table of the store. But the itch was still there.

He tried to speak but ruined the effect by having to immediately duck his head into his shoulder as the tickle returned with a vengeance. “IH-ngxt, ngxt…hih-nixxt….hihh-hih-nigxxchht!” The fourth sneeze left him dizzy, and he sat there for a second before blowing his nose, going through 4 sets of napkins and coughing.

He rubbed his nose as the smiling hero commented. “Aww Sweetie do you have the sniffles?” She laughed as Eraser geared up for another round.

“’TSHHH, h’TSHH, h’NGXT”

“Just let them out, it’ll feel so much better.” Mic voice was quiet and comforting. He pulled out a napkin and held it to Eraser quivering nose.

“ah’TSHEW hih heh h’SHIEW ah’PTSHUUU!”

“Bless you Sweetie.” Both of the other Pros said in unison.

Eraser let his body relax against Mic as he continued to rub his nose against the rough fabric of the napkin. Mic pinched and massaged his partners nose before pulling the cloth away, folding it trying to contain the mess that had been expelled from his cute little nose.

“Blow.” Mic held a dry area up to Shouta nose and he was extremely grateful that he seemed to be slowing down, however Eraser complied and gave a wet gurgly blow into the napkin.

Mic could feel his breath hitch after he blew and continued to hold the cloth in place.

“hih’ heh”

“I’ve got you.”

“aH’SHIEW!”

“Bless you,” Mic dabbed at his husband nose, “better?

“Ugh sniff yes, never do that again Jokes if you want to live.”

#Vic writes #bnha eraserhead #jokes #sneeze fic #sneezefic

[ask-80s-rinandlen]

Creep or not creep?(occ)

I went to the mall on a """"date????""""" (To me it was just to hang out, but he must've thought it was something else) imma call him P. For context he is in the military and came home for Christmas and I don't think that he really has friends. I really didn't want to go, but I'm the type of person that keeps a commitment, so I hauled my ass an hour away to the mall to meet him. At first things were okay until I wanted to stop at a Christmas store to buy things on clearance. He kinda made a comment about why I shouldn't buy Christmas when the holiday is over. I told him that it's for next year. Then he took the bag from my hands and held them for me. I told him that I would like my shopping bags back and that I can carry them, but he refused and that pissed me off. After a bit he said that the bags were heavy and that we should drop the bags off in my car. I told him that I could carry them and that my job requires me to deadlift 60lbs regularly so it wasn'ta problem (PLUS IT WAS MY SHIT HE DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING), but he was stubborn and was basically like brushed me off, so off to drop the bags off. (We did this MULTIPLE times because he would take the bags from my hands and refused to let me carry anything) We had lunch and he made a comment about how I must've been saving my food so I can basically shove it down my throat when I got home. Then he told some Korean folklore about how this guy married a woman with a small mouth so that she doesn't eat much, but divorced her later cause she was a demon with a huge mouth or something. (Like WTF are you trying to telling me >:(?) Then at some point he literally said let me see you from behind and slowed down to look at my ass and he basically went nicccce. At that point I was pretty much done and wanted to go home (it pissed me off the he wasn't even trying to be subtle about that). BUT STILL... we kept circling around the mall and we ended up sitting down because he complained about walking and we sat for a bit. All this time I was telling him that I needed to leave soon (with valid reasons: food in car, its going to rain, I have to do yard work, etc. Etc.) But he just kept brushing them off. After sitting and chatting (we were sitting basically shoulder to shoulder so we weren't facing each other) he kept touching my arm and bangs. Then he made a comment about how I should look at him while we're talking. I just told him that I was people watching. Then he was like I'm looking at you and talking so why can't you do it. I waited a few minutes and I finally said that I needed to go and of course he followed me to the car and then he got real close to me and whispered in my ear that I was pretty and attempted to open my car door for me. I got in and locked the door behind me. I waited for a second, seeing if he would walk away because I wanted to run back in there and check out the bin of bras that were in my size that I was eyeing during our multiple rounds around the mall (there was no way I was going into a lingerie store with this guy) But he didn't walk away, he just lingered around me car and looking at me through my mirror. So I just decided to get the hell out of dodge. (And I mean it i was doing 20 over the speed limit)

I immediately went home and checked under my car for any airtags or any shit like that.

For the wanting to hold me bags,, i could see that he was trying to be a gentleman but I did annoy me that he wouldn't even hear me out on wanting to hold my own bags. Up until the looking at my ass part, he was decent. Once he basically was like nice ass I become very distant. I should've ended right then and there but... idk.

Was he being a creepy or am I just a bitch?

#occ #vent

[miastideclock]

Stray Kids Reaction To Their Girlfriend Flinching

do you do the bulletpoint things? if yes- Can i request a skz reaction to their girlfriend flinching when they raise their hand in an argument or something?? Or like they accidentally hurt you in a fight? With these members please: bang chan, hyunjin, jisung, felix - thank you

Notes: not all of these are flinching and stuff, but they heavily relate??? idk you’ll understand when you read it lmao

-

Bang Chan

the best boyfriend

not ever a question

so when you, his girlfriend, backed away and instantly protected your neck, his heart shattered

he knew you had gone through some shit in your past, but he never thought if could affect you like this

he then realized he had been ignorant to just blatantly ignore your past like that

you had been standing in the kitchen arguing about the bills or something, at this point neither of you really remember

he had been frustrated out of his mind, pacing back and forth over the floor, rubbing his face

“Chan, stop.”

He did as he was told and stopped right in front of you, leaning against the kitchen table which you faced

it was then he raised his hand to drag it through his hair, you flinched

your hands instantly raised to protect your neck and you took a step back, your breath hitching in your throat.

pretty sure the entire neighborhood heard his heart break into a gazillion pieces and catch on fire.

“Baby, no please. I would never lay hand on you- you know that.” He tried

“I don’t know that. They all say that, and then that’s exactly what they do.”

The prominent fear in your voice made him tear up.

“I’m so sorry.” 

He would sit on the floor, not wanting to make any sudden movements so you could fully calm down. 

“It’s okay. Just, just be patient with me, okay?” You sat down next to him and took his hands in yours. 

Crying, but together. 

“I’m sorry.” x 1 000 000 000 

“Stop, it’s okay. We’re okay.” x 1 000 000 001

Hyunjin

Hyunjin loved you

so so much

one of his favorite qualities about you, was that you could make light of almost anything

like that time he accidentally swatted you instead of the bug

you keep joking about it constantly, making hyunjin laugh every time

little did he know, you did it to try and get your mind off it

he had actually frightened you that day, not because he had swatted you, because let’s be real, accidents happen

But after he had swatted you and you had a bruise for a few days, he never apologized- he would just tease you?

and not that it was TOO big of an issue, but one of your friends had pointed out that, if he didn’t apologize for this- what WOULD he apologize for, etc etc

she really got into your head and it was bad

real bad

But when he picked up a fly swatter at the store and started messing around with it, poking it towards you- it wasn’t as funny anymore

he realized that when he saw you flinch and tear up.

you had turned and said you needed to go get something, hoping he hadn’t seen your reaction, but evidently he had

hyunjin had NEVER moved faster as he let go of the swatter and ran so he was in front of you, not daring to touch in case he scared you

“babe, what’s wrong?” he was genuinely unsure of what he had done

after shaking the anxiety out and trying your best to explain what the case was, you were both sat at aisle 13 crying

“I’m so sorry, i don’t know what i was thinking-”

he would fumble with his hands, not kowing whether to touch you or stay out of a 16 mile radius of you, so he wouldn’t hurt you again

“shut up and hug me.”

Jisung

a dork

but that’s nothing new

and dorks have a tendency to not always think about exactly what it is that they’re doing

so get this, one day you and your boyfriend are play-fighting on the living room couch

you guys are messing around, its fun

jisung then takes it a step too far, by towering over you while you are laid on your back, making it impossible for you to escape

he starts tickling you like crazy

at first, you laugh, but the laughter soon turns to pain as he doesn’t stop

“Jisung! S-stop.” A mix of laughter and panic in your voice, but he doesn't hear it.

“Please stop.” You try again, this time no humor in your voice, but Jisung still don’t notice

you started to panic

you couldn’t breathe

you started to cry as you hyperventilate, Jisung finally seeing that you were no longer having fun.

“Babe, holy- I’m so sorry, are you okay?” He panics too as he gets off you. 

You fall to the floor and heave for air, Jisung not knowing what to do.

You look at him while your lungs struggle, reaching for him slightly, him being at your side in less than a second- to help you calm down.

“I’m so sorry.”

Felix

y’all would be bickering about something

and the playful tone soon got serious

both of you ended up kinda annoyed, so you decided to go to the kitchen to get something to drink

y’know, so the ‘fight’ wouldn’t escalate

“Just so you know, you’re wrong.” He would call after you as you got off the couch

“Yeah, wrong about who I should date, jesus christ.” You mumbled under your breath, it obviously being a joke as you loved Felix very very much

He hadn’t heard what you had said, but he heard you say something, so he just assumed you were bad-mouthing him

“OI!” He scolded you and threw the closest thing to him, at you

It happened to be a pillow

not too bad- hadn’t it been for the fact that the zipper side was on its way flying towards you

you didn’t even comprehend what happened before you were on the floor, it being both because you didn’t see it coming, and that Felix threw it a bit too hard

A sharp pain seared from your neck and you quickly rose your neck out of instinct, your palm soon being met with a few drops of warm, red liquid

you were bleeding

..

you were bleeding?

you retracted your hand and looked at it

it wasn’t too much blood, but it was a distinct scratch, that much you could tell

Felix would notice the lack of sound coming from the kitchen and turned to look at the doorway, being confused when he saw you on your knees, staring at your hand

Your hand? Why would you look at you- why is your hand red- wHY IS YOUR NECK RED, WHAT DID HE DOO

He rush over to you and ask if he did this, but you don’t really need to answer. 

He carefully grabbed your hand, but you tensed up at his touch before slowly relaxing.

He then lead you into the kitchen and picked you up to sit you on the counter.

he then grabbed the first-aid kit and got to work

Hope you liked it!

-bentley

#kpop #stray kids #stray kids drabbles #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids chan #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids jisung #stray kids felix #stray kids requests #stray kids one shots

[sanguchito]

okay, time for my post-mother thoughts

i had a hard time with it at first, its definitely *aged*, the interface is annoying, a bunch of stuff is counter intuitive by today's standards I guess, some parts were confusing, I had many moments of frustration with it, but I'm glad I played it, it was worth it and also an interesting experience, I've never played a game this old before

ive said this before but navigating the maps of this game was by far the worst part for me i dont think i could have gone through the whole thing without looking at the full maps and this is something that i hate doing lol

my sister watched me play a bit and said it looked awful and asked why I look for weird games lmao

i had a few moments when i felt like wow this is NOT fun, it took me really long to finish the game bc some parts were a bit of a chore HOWEVER

i had kind of a feeling at the beginning like, i am playing and things are just happening, i was not very engaged with the whole thing, the world and the characters, like yes i was having fun it was hard and different and i liked the challenge, but idk inevitably i had expectations for the kind of stuff would make me feel, because earthbound

but then everything really really grew on me, from the easter town on, and especially after the swamp (fuck that place >:| ), it was at this point that i enjoyed in a more similar way to the other game. the simplicity of the game combined with its emotionally strong parts lets you fill in the details, i started imagining more things about these characters and whats happening to them, like mentally i have very strong mental images of idk 3 twelve year olds buying literally everything at a drug store :) or on the other side eve being decimated to scrap and the kids around her carefully listening her final ‘message’

also had a hard time finding the melodies, i guess this bit is part of what i would call counter intuitive from this game. also just like with earthbound i did the second melody at the end lol.... 

there were many instances that surprised me, like ninten and ana taking a moment in the middle of this whole alien attack ordeal to talk about their feeling and oh my god their little dance 😭

theres these calm but also unsettling moments like singing the meoldies to queen mary and seeing all of magicant completely vanish

another one i loved was how after getting destroyed eve plays the melody for you, shes only there for a little while but she sure was there for me huh, and this is also how you know that her fate was to die fighting for you. you still have to keep killing aliens 10 feet away

i loved how different the giygas battle was, it was weird and bittersweet and in the end you dont even kill him, you bring out his repressed memories of infancy and suddenly he cannot annihilate the human race anymore

you dont actually have a choice but it was really something when he offers ninten the chance to be the only surviving human.....

MR ITOI DID NOT LIE WHEN HE SAID NO CRYING UNTIL THE END

it was a weird ride i also had moments when i thought i cannot finish this and later ones where i really couldnt stop

at this point i already know about the whole thing like mount itoi wasnt properly tested but still jesus christ that was brutal rbfhewrgbh getting to giygas was waaay more stressful than the actual boss fight

OVERALL i did like it, some bits way more than others, been thinking of this all afternoon and well night, i will ponder on it a bit more

#○ #y ahora a mimir #mother #mother series

[itsclydebitches]

Another thing about how rwby views trauma survivors reacting to their abuse or unfortunate background is that it frames the solution to healing is by serving in armed forces. Weiss and Blake joined Beacon to escape their abuser. Ren and Nora joined Beacon after the loss of their families. Winter joined the military to escape Jacques and I'm assuming will become the new Atlas general after Ironwood's death. The Huntsmen Academies are all framed as these safe havens (literally with Mistral) for anyone who can carry a weapon, meanwhile anyone who can't or doesn't want to join, or joins a group outside of the institution is depicted as bad.

To say that this is all muddied would be a huge understatement because even if we put aside the complicated message of, "Overcome your abuse by learning to punch back," at this point the combined huntsmen-military is no longer presented as a means of escape. Rather, between the rewriting of Winter's history – she has apparently been manipulated by Ironwood this whole time rather than choosing the military as a means of escaping her abuser – as well as the military aligned huntsmen – FNKI aren't heroes like RWBYJNOR anymore, willingly protecting their home, they're children who have been forced into this conflict – there's now this major divide between fighters-on-their-own and fighters-as-part-of-the-institution. We could even read this as extending to the huntsmen academies themselves, given that one has fallen, one was destroyed, and the other lost its figurehead. They used to be presented as havens for struggling individuals... now, not so much. The plot's message is not that heroes win by banding together through established structures that were designed to help those coming from bad circumstances (note how aware Ozpin is of these backstories: Qrow's bandit tribe, Blake's White Fang history, looking into Ruby's defense of the store, etc.), but rather you win by rag-tag individuals making decisions based on friendship.

Yet simultaneously, that divide is by no means neat and tidy (since plenty of stories have that latter message). As we've discussed elsewhere, RWBYJNOR is ingrained in these structures despite the story rejecting them. They got their initial training at Beacon (how many fans have argued that they learned enough there? That they're basically full-fledged huntsmen already? So, that school was pretty important, yeah?). They worked with Ironwood for months. They're using the prestige of their licenses to get people to listen to them. They're hijacking military equipment to give the world orders to prepare for an attack. Ruby became a general in all but title in that moment, in the same way that Weiss became the Remnant equivalent of a cop when she tried to arrest her father. Volumes 6-8 suddenly wanted to send an anti-military message without considering the context of their story (what does a military mean in a world where unambiguously evil monsters attack, as opposed to a world where these "monsters" are minorities?) and they failed to separate the heroes from the structures they so passionately reject. You cannot have the group stand in opposition to Ironwood and everything he represents while also encouraging the audience to oohh and ahhh at Jaune whipping out his huntsmen license to lead a group of civilians to safety. The supposed cruelty of the former and supposed heroism of the latter are meant to exist simultaneously, despite the contradiction. We went from the message that huntsmen academies, including Atlas', are a haven from abuse, poverty, etc. but now, suddenly, certain types of escapes are no longer morally sound. So just ignore how many of the heroes took the "wrong" path.

And then on top of all of that we have Rhodes. RWBY is pushing the individualism message hard nowadays – that a group of friends is better than a general and his soldiers just ignore that Ruby is their leader and they all follow her orders – yet it's Rhodes' individuality that is criticized in Cinder's flashback. He, as a single person, tries to take on the complex situation of helping an abused child and he failed. The fandom's reaction to his efforts is pretty telling because most kept falling back on structural solutions: "Why didn't he just call CPS? Why didn't he get her admitted early like Ruby? Why didn't he approach some superior to fix all this?" Most fans seemed to grudgingly acknowledge that kidnapping Cinder and raising this traumatized kid on the road while hunting grimm was... not the best idea, so they turned to the very things they've rejected in Ruby's part of the story: laws that people have to follow, schools with an hierarchy that can serve as support, someone above you whose orders you follow and whose seniority can help you in a tough situation. In Cinder's flashback people wanted Remnant to have structural solutions because, clearly, leaving one flawed man to fix this situation on his own didn't turn out so well. They (and the writers) just don't want Ruby to have to obey those same structures because Ruby is the title hero they've grown to love over eight years. We feel like we know Ruby and we assume that if Ruby is in charge she'd totally make the best decision. But Rhodes? He's a stranger, someone we see for less than ten minutes, so his flaws are far easier to home in on. Few are willing to acknowledge that Ruby is Rhodes on a much larger scale, trying things because she wants to help, but ultimately doing far more harm because she's incredibly inexperienced and is just running on her own, individual ideas, not any of the structures in place that are meant to deal with such crises. Rhodes' "Idk what else to do, so I guess I'll teach a tortured kid how to defend herself and hope for the best" is Ruby's "Idk what else to do, so I guess I'll drop Atlas on Mantle, leave with the Relics, move everyone to Vacuo, and hope for the best." The primary difference is that while Rhodes is punished through his death and the narrative makes it clear that this was the wrong choice (Cinder murders everyone and becomes a villain), whereas Ruby's screwups are continually framed as heroic. And that's because the show can't make up its mind about this structural vs. individual approach. Do huntsmen need to be held responsible for their actions, or do they need complete freedom to do the right thing with the belief that anything that goes wrong was completely out of their hands (Yangs' take)? Well, that depends entirely on which huntsmen we're talking about. RWBY's idea that some people are intrinsically good and others intrinsically bad means that the writing – and the fandom – can demand rogue huntsmen be held accountable while simultaneously cheering the group running away from arrest; curse Clover for following orders while simultaneously gushing over how loyal the group is to Ruby; condemn lies that Ozpin gives while simultaneously justifying the ones Ruby gives, etc. RWBY has no clear message, just the insistence that whatever our heroes does is good. The path they've taken, learning to fight to escape horrific situation is a good thing. The path Rhodes laid out, teaching Cinder to fight to escape a horrific situation, is a bad thing. It comes down to the characters, not the situation.

Finally, yeah, there's a complete lack of acknowledgment that either option – structural or individual – alienates those who don't know how to fight. This is seen most clearly in Whitley who asks why he'd want to be a huntsmen when he can afford an army, yet when armies are painted as unquestionably bad, the story won't admit that this leaves Whitley stranded. He had no way to escape his abuse like Winter and Weiss did. He had no way to defend himself when Weiss shoved a weapon in his face. The story never had to grapple with where it's left characters who can't fight and who shouldn't make the evil choice of relying on soldiers because Whitley unexpectedly got on Weiss' good side and gained her protection. It doesn't matter anymore because Whitley is a Good Guy now who the group will take care of. But if he'd continued to disagree? Gone to his room instead of calling Klein? If, in the future, he does something that annoys his sisters and they decide to ignore him like they did before? Well, Whitley is screwed. In a world besieged by grimm – with attacks growing with each volume – he wanted to rely on an army to help solve these problems. But then that was said to be wrong, the general died, and the army, far as we can tell, was left behind to die as well. So what's left? Rely on the huntsmen. Just hope that there are enough (there aren't), that you get a good one (not a Lionheart, or a Raven, or a Cardin, or a Dudley, or...), and that the good ones care enough to bother protecting you. Even if the story hadn't gone out of its way to show how terribly flawed individual huntsmen are – from Lionheart's devastating betrayal to Qrow teaming up with Tyrian – from a practical perspective it's just not enough. Volume 8 showed without a doubt that in a war like this, one built on a witch's ability to summon endless grimm, an army is necessary. Salem would have been into Atlas in a second without those soldiers holding her forces back. Yang, Jaune, and Ren wouldn't have gotten to the whale without that army. Yet the story never acknowledges this, instead pretending like the few individuals we see – the limited numbers the characters keep admitting are horrendously limited – could have somehow saved the day without that assistance. Everything we're seeing nowadays – which characters can use these institutions to escape abuse, which can lie to help the war, which should rely on structures as opposed to their own ideas and physical power – is a mess of inconsistent, often contradictory messages.

#rwby #rwde #mymetas #abuse tw

[sugasugawarau]

Synopsis: You knew that Kageyama Tobio was not your soulmate - and that was why you could not help but succumb to the waves that lulled you away from the shores of fate + semi inspired by Eyes Blue like the Atlantic by sistaprod ft. Subvrbs. Also part of @yacoka‘s collab <3 (2.4k words)

Warnings/notes: Some angst near the end, soulmate red string au, gender neutral reader. No beta we die like Rex Lapis so if I ever feel like it this may be edited at some point asdahdhj idk LMAO

— Prologue

There are as many reasons to fall in love with Kageyama Tobio as there are fractals made by the ocean’s breath as the world inhales and exhales, flourishes and wilts, conquers and surrenders. It would not even be a hyperbole to say that in number, they remain unrivalled to the plethora of stars that stain the waves with their reflection and run deeper than the scars of lightyears that paint lines from Cassiopeia to Aquila.

After all, he is the darkest hue of navy blue.

Determination that moves in an orchestra of thundering waves, brandishing on its crest an admirable recklessness, heeding not for the need to call upon courage or confidence; polished instinct that endued one with the same awestruck feeling when facing the beautifully suffocating obscurity of their life in this world, a mixture of raw fear and the need to impart a piece of their soul in everything they do despite how fragile the skin shielding their heart is.

But the best part of loving Kageyama was that you were not - or will ever become - destined to be.

— Shoreline

Red.

It was a word that was always thrown about in conversations, the fuel to the catastrophes that were high school gossip chains, and the colour that held the mangled passion of the string of fate. Garishly predestined and easily tangled by unnecessary complications of jealousy and confusion, it is needless to say that you hated red with more passion than the love it emptily promises with a title as shallow as soulmates.

That was not to say you despised love. There was nothing wrong with love itself, a fact which you had decided firmly since the spry age of four years old. What was wrong was its combination with soulmates: a rigid formula, nothing like the walks with your grandmother on the bright summer roads littered with flowers as her calloused palm gently guided you, or the laughter you shared with your friends after a long run in the rain, hugging each other goodbye at the end of the day despite the muddy battle scars covering your arms and legs from falling countless times.

Your mind could have kept you engaged in your internal debate for longer if you were left to your own devices, but an awkward cough and the sound of a desk shifting towards your right brought you out of your reverie, bringing your drifting thoughts back to the classroom surrounding you.

Perhaps your look of confusion came off as hostile, for the dark-haired boy now sitting next to you looked at you with a slight glare that felt forced, an automatic effort to defend himself.

His tone of voice only confirmed your unconsciously off-putting expression as he gruffly stated, “Group project.” to explain his sudden presence.

“Oh. What’s the topic on?”

An awkward silence had ensued while you tried to calmly collect yourself by gathering a handful of pens from your pencil case after being caught in your heinous crime of not paying attention to your English teacher.

“You don’t know?” Came his reply, causing you to occupy yourself by finding extreme interest in a lime green highlighter you did not have any recollection of ever buying.

“Well, I clearly wasn’t paying attention.”

“You… weren’t?” The slight intonation in his tone was a stark contrast to your initial impression of him and caused you to look up at him, almost letting out an amused snort at his befuddled frown to which he furrowed his brows and shot a challenging “What?” in return. Realizing that he was genuine in believing that you were deep in thought over the lesson, a burst of laughter blossomed past your lips, attracting a few odd looks from your nearby peers and an abashed glare from him.

You paused to take a breath, a repetition of sorries stumbling their way out to appease the onslaught of nagging you thought would follow shortly. Instead, all the boy muttered was a simple, “You’re weird.”

“Sure, but that’s beside the point - were you paying any attention?”

“No.”

Seeing your face contorted to stop yet another bout of laughter to roam its way into the world as a result of his bluntness, he shot out of his seat and announced that he would go ask the teacher, unable to hide his puzzlement as he walked away. He would come to regret this decision when the teacher began to lecture him, earning more heads to turn his way as she scolded him before sending him off dismissively with a sticky note that you assumed had your now long-awaited topic.

Before you could thank him for enduring what could only be one of the worst things to experience as a high school student, he wordlessly handed the piece of paper to you and sat down.

“Kageyama, right? With this project, you’ll have me to thank for the A we’ll get,” you promised confidently, to which he responded with a halfhearted “Good luck.”

If he had been a close friend, you would have taken the small textbook on his desk and gently hit his head at his evident lack of belief in his capabilities, but settled for a clipped sigh instead. After all, you did not want to further contribute to the premature wrinkles Kageyama was making himself prone to with all of the brow-furrowing he did.

This is going to be one long month.

— Largo

Like how the ocean reluctantly caresses the sleeping shore as it wakes from its slumber during low tide, your lives slowly flowed together.

During the first week of your group project with him, he would greet you curtly, and on a few occasions, you would have short conversations about the outline of your book review.

And this singular week was enough to show that there was some (okay, maybe a lot) of backing behind the teacher’s warning about Kageyama’s dismal grade.

While you flipped through A Midsummer Night’s Dream, you would catch the all-too-familiar confusion on his face - it was written on his features so blatantly that it was almost comical, as if taken straight out of a shonen manga.

“You know if you’re stuck you can ask me for help.”

A slight scowl greeted you over the hedge of pages he had been burying himself in, followed by a biting, “Who said I need help?”

You could only roll your eyes in return.

“Please drop the prideful act. You've been glazing over the same page for about twenty minutes now."

After a few seconds of grumbling did he finally comply, and with your explanations, his bookmark was now comfortably sandwiched between the double-digit page numbers right as the bell rang. You hummed in satisfaction before returning your desk to your original spot, expecting him to rush out along with everyone else - so to turn around and see him still standing there was a bit of a surprise.

“Did you still need help with the last few lines?” You settled on asking, not really wanting to plague your break with work but offering nonetheless. Thankfully, he shot a look of disdain at the play as he stuffed it away haphazardly in his bag.

“No, I just wanted to,” he trailed off a bit, the tinge of red on his ears an out-of-character detail you decided not to comment on, “to say thanks, I guess.”

You smiled softly at the unexpected gesture of appreciation before giving him a teasing nudge which he stiffened slightly at.

“Well, I can’t have you bringing down my mark now can I?”

“Nevermind, I take it back.”

“Too bad, I have those words of gratitude stored nicely in my hippocampus already.”

From there, tutoring sessions with Kageyama became the norm, with you sometimes asking about his volleyball team after he had let slip that you were a better teacher than Tsukishima (something you would be sure to smugly share if you ever met the infamous middle blocker).

By the end of the month, all of the hard work - and a couple of all-nighters due to procrastination - brought forth an A as you had promised.

Even your relentless teasing, varying between “I told you so!” to “You owe me at least three meat buns now” which were all met with an annoyed “Shut up”was not enough to dim the smile he tried to hide.

— High tide

With the force of nature, the tide rose without warning; from goodnight texts to confessing to the first “I love you” uttered shyly between shameless souls, neither of you was sure where things began, but found comfort in such liberating chaos.

In times where he needed to be held, you were there, and the insecurities you would hide, he would turn beautiful. And today happened to be a day for both as you stared absentmindedly at his bedroom ceiling.

“Hey Tobio, what’s your take on soulmates?”

“We’ve been together for almost a year now, what do you think?” he put his phone down and turned towards you, “I could care less about soulmates or whatever else is worrying you enough to make your overthinking go into overdrive.”

“Rude, have some respect, it’s my profession after all,” you shoved him playfully as he snorted in reply, “It’s just... If your string ever appeared, wouldn't you rather-”

“Listen Y/n, did you know that I’m scared of dying but I’m even more terrified of the thought of living without you? I could never and don’t ever want to replace you. People can talk all they want, if I could find a love like ours without something as stupid as a piece of string then I don’t need a soulmate.”

“Really?”

With a flick to your forehead, he huffed in fake exasperation. “Really.”

“Huh, who knew you could be so romantic.”

“It's not romantic, I'm just being honest, idiot.”

“You sure could make do with some more lessons on manners and social tact. It's too bad you can't pick up on those as well as volleyball drills.”

Before he could retaliate, you enveloped him in a familiar embrace, burrowing your face into the large hoodie he donned.

It was effortless, his company.

— Ebbing away

But it wasn’t all romantic.

You fiddled with your phone as you waited for any sign that Kageyama had seen your messages, the pack of meat buns you had bought on a whim no longer letting off their fragrant steam. You knew he had an important match coming up against Seijoh, that he had to prove himself, that he lives hungrily and foolishly like no other. But his missing presence went beyond volleyball practice, keeping his distance from you even when he was right by your side.

Why am I stuck reminiscing about the past when we still have each other?

Why does every step I take towards him feel as if I’m only drawing myself farther away from him?

A carousel of rhetorical questions spun around your head as you stopped your slow pace towards Karasuno. You were not blind; you knew the rumours and dirty looks from your classmates were not something anyone could be immune to, that he tried his best to spend less time around you at school. The only conclusion you could reach was that he was ashamed: either of you, or the fact that he had begun to see his red string and could not bring himself to face you.

Ignoring the urge to let yourself cry, you glanced down at your phone once more, 8:30PM flashed across your eyes, followed by your empty notifications. There was no way he’d still be practicing at the school now and even if he was, you doubted he would be happy to see you. Maybe - no, definitely - it would be better to head home, and maybe stop by the convenience store you had bought the now misshapen meat buns from to get some tea and call it a night.

If only fate did not reciprocate your hatred towards it.

Stepping into the small store, the first person you are greeted with is none other than Kageyama Tobio. The whole situation was like a fever dream, and you would do anything to be able to let out a laugh and have him call you weird all over again. But all you could bring yourself to do was blearily stare at him.

He turned around quickly, as if not wanting to be caught before ushering you outside. “Y/n? Why are you here?” he hissed, a stiffness that he had recently adopted to his body language that you were now all too familiar with.

“What? Am I not allowed to go into any and all convenience stores I please?” You challenged, a part of you waiting for him to care enough to see how tired you were, to actually look you in the eyes for the first time in weeks.

He did not, opting to turn his head towards the door again.

“It’s not that, it’s just-”

“Just what? Tobio, what is up with you lately?” A pause ensued, broken by a small hiccup as your eyes dampened - God, how much more pathetic could you get than crying in front of some dingy convenience store - “Do you even love me anymore?”

How odd. You thought that by finally uttering the final question that had been dancing around your mind free to the world, you would feel better. That he would reassure you, as he always had.

Not that he would at last meet your gaze, grabbing your hand to look at the red string wrapped around your ring finger.

The taste of tears and Kageyama’s eyes as blue as the Atlantic all felt miles away from you as an orange-haired boy stepped out of the store, his mouth dropping into an o-shape when he saw that his string led to you, a disheveled mess arguing with his teammate.

“Kageyama…You knew? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to face the reality of it all. Because I was afraid of losing you.”

“But I wouldn’t leave you-”

“I know you wouldn’t but you should!” Kageyama’s furrowed brows, once a quirk of his that you were fond of, now elicited a sick turmoil in your stomach, “You have to. Please.”

You wanted to yell at him, let the blood pour out of any and all raw words of anger and hurt.

Who was he to decide what was good for you, to throw you at some boy you never met before, to give up?

Then again, you could never say you would not have done the same for him if you knew he had found his soulmate despite the sweet words he had told you so long ago.

So you let yourself go. For his sake.

#kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama x y/n #kageyama x you #haikyuu x reader