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just-some-random-blogger · 6 months

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Safe Keeping | 7

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6

What say you, lady? Don't you think the Hound would make a fine husband? He would protect you, yes, and you would bear him many babes." I curtsy again but this time, my voice falters when I speak, "I- I think he would," I turn to my left, "Lord Sandor would make a fine husband... a fine father."

Sandor Clegane x Reader | 6k+ | cw: fem!reader, POV shifts!, forced marriage, smut (piv, emotional sex, praise kink, breeding kink), enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, emotional unavailability, emotional vulnerability, The Hound being abrasive, miscommunication, toxic masculinity, typos, etc.

A/N: YAY WE ACTUALLY FINISHED A SERIES HAHHAH lol. thank you so much to everyone who read safe keeping on here <3 im so luv all of you !! i will be continuing this so HIHHH look forward to it ig 😋 [originally posted on ao3] | [continuation fic on ao3] | [continuation on tumblr]

Tagging: @otteropera @poisonsage808 @glitterandgoldfinds @the-queen-of-sorrows @minttea07 @fluffpudel @j3nn-1 @jelsasnowflakes1 @thestrals-and-firewiskey

We are greeted by a group of men when we arrive at the Alistair dwelling.

Sandor helps me dismount my horse. I thank him, then the stable boy, who takes our rides. Sandor ushers me in and we hand our coats to the servants by the door.

My husband scrutinizes the place, a grave expression on his features as he takes in the halls that were decorated with streamers. As we get deeper into the home, I grab Sandor's arm and carefully word, "remember why we're here."

He turns to me and raises a brow, "and why are we here, darling wife?"

I cannot help the way I react to his words, his term of endearment. I know it is condescending, but my stomach tumbles at the sound of it either way. I look forward, unable to keep his gaze, "we're here to pay out respects to a man that extended generosity to us."

Sandor notices the way my face twitches. He sighs and turns away, "I will not kill the pretty boy. Do not be so upset."

"I'm not upset," I turn to him.

He scoffs under his breath, "what's with the face then?"

"What face?"

"A face fairest in the land, many would say."

Sandor and I stop in our tracks.

My brows raise and I break into a chuckle of disbelief and surprise. The man who had spoken smirks as I greet him, "Lord Baelish."

Sandor feels his blood boil when the Littlefinger bows and reaches out a hand. He tightens his grip on me.

I turn to Sandor, noticing how darkly he was eyeing Petyr, and decide to let out a laugh to ease the tension, "there be no need for such formalities, Petyr."

Petyr straightens up, lowering his hand, maintaining his smirk.

Sandor's lips twitch as he grumbles slowly himself, "Petyr."

"I am glad we're past that, my dear," Petyr says before Sandor tugs me by the arm behind him as he steps forward.

The shorter man looks up and the taller one snorts. I manage to pull my arm away, coming in between them. I nervously laugh and elbow Sandor back, not that it does anything, "if you'll excuse us, we must speak to the man on the hour."

Petyr looks back at me, unfazed and still smirking, "of course. But I do I hope, for your sake, you spare me a moment after. I have something rather important to talk to you about."

"About what?!" Sandor bark. I feel the tension of his form when he presses nearer, flush against my back, to impose upon the lord.

Lord Baelish doesn't spare the Hound a glance, "why, about the monsters plaguing your ancestral home."

My lips part.

The blue eyed man raises a brow, "you've long wished to be safe from this peril, yes?" he bows, "I believe I have a solution for you."

Before I could even think, Petyr straightens up and smirks as he walks away.

I hear the Hound whisper behind me, "I'll fucking kill him instead."

Before I could respond, a voice calls out to me. I turn and see it is Lord Alistair, making his way over.

He jogs up to me with an excited expression and reaches out a hand. I smile back at him and take it out of instinct. When he is close enough, Cedric kisses my knuckles.

The Hound did not realize this had happened up until he tore his gaze from damned Littlefinger. When he notices Alistair, he nearly breaks his teeth from clenching his jaw so tight.

"I am happy to see you, my lady," Cedric nods with a lopsided smile.

Before the Hound can react, the pretty boy is speaking again.

"And you, my lord," he nods to Sandor.

"I don't share the sentiment," the Hound growls through a strangled breath.

Cedric laughs. He places a hand on his chest as he does, then motions, "forgive me. You must be famished from your travels," he looks to his right then back to us, "please. My servants have prepared my favorite dishes. Help yourself and make merry."

"I'll be merry if I fuc--

"THANK YOU, MY LORD!" I cut off with a massive grin. I curtsy and chuckle, mustering all the sincerity I had, praying it overshadowed my jitters, "may you always be so generous and joyous on your nameday."

Cedric chuckles and waves me off, "please. Spare me the formalities. I pray you go and eat with your husband before he kills someone."

Lord Alistair is the only one that laughs at the joke. A few delayed seconds later, I manage to laugh with him, forcing down my agitation.

Sandor doesn't budge the first time I tug on his arm. He follows after the fourth. He eyes Cedric as we walk away, but the said man is already preoccupied with another guest to notice.

"I don't think this is a good idea," I whimper under my breath as I quite literally run after the buzzing Hound.

Sandor makes his way down the hall in a break neck speed, at least for me. I have to catch my breath when we enter the weapons room. I heave and look around the foreign place, eyeing the axes, the arrows, the swords, and the armor displayed all over.

"Your pretty boy has good taste," Sandor slurs as he grabs a sword mounted on the wall, knocking over a few others as he did.

I cringe at the clank of steel against ground and step back when Sandor begins to wave his blade around. I mumble, "he's not my pretty boy."

Sandor continues to swing the sword. I pull my head back in agitation.

He then picks up the fallen swords but cannot manage to put them back in their place without moving shakily, and dropping a few.

I panic and press my back against the wall, "my love, this is a horrible idea!"

Sandor stops and turns to me, "how is it horrible? Lord Alistair wanted a sword fight with me, and that's what he's gonna get. He chose this nameday gift, not I."

I watch as he finally manages to put away the swords.

"You were there, my jittery bride."

I straighten up and slowly walk towards him with my palms cautiously raised. Sandor is perfectly still when I come close. I release a sigh of relief when I manage to grab his arms, "please listen. I was also there when you downed three ewers of wine, puppy."

He leans down.

I clench my jaw.

I can feel his breath, smell the alcohol in it, as he mutters, "I'm not a lightweight."

I gasp when he comes low enough to kiss my neck.

My skin pricks when he whispers hotly, "and I'm not a puppy."

My heart is racing when he straightens up. He does so in a rather staggering manner, telling of the effects of his alcohol consumption.

"You're drunk."

"Am not," he rebuts.

I scowl at him, "you're a drunk puppy, my dear."

He smiles, "I thought I was your love?"

My stomach churns.

Sandor purses his lips when I do not respond.

I feel my face prick with heat, "would you listen to me if you knew that I loved you?"

He chuckles, turns his back on me, and heads for the door, "well, do ya?"

I feel like vomiting. I whisper under my breath, "I do."

He reaches for the knob and opens the door, "nice try, beautiful," he reaches a hand out, "come. Maybe your pretty boy will manage to ki-"

"WILL YOU STOP CALLING HIM THAT!" I snap and storm over to him. "Lord Alistair is NOT my pretty boy! He's not mine and will never be!" I feel my blood boil and my eyes begin to fog, "and stop calling me names!"

He pulls his chin back. His face hardens. He opens his mouth to speak but beat him to it before he can say a word.

"Stop mocking me! Stop calling me pretty squirrel! Stop calling me beautiful! It's driving me mad!"

"I'm not mocking you," he speaks lowly, "why would I mock-"

"Well, whatever it is, it needs to come to an end," I point at him, "now let's get this over with. I want to go home."

I storm off and head outside.

I make my way to the back of the Alistair dwelling, which had a large field where the sword fighting will be held.

I stand by the crowd of people and sigh through my nostrils. I watch as Lord Alistair does tricks with his sword, enticing the crowd to laugh and cheer for him.

I feel out of place in my spot because I didn't know anyone else, and because was not at all entertained by the spectacle. All I thought of was how badly I wished this to be over. Damn my drunken husband for agreeing to this.

"Trouble in paradise?"

I turn over and find the smile of Lord Baelish. I release another sigh, "please. Not anymore, Petyr."

Petyr chuckles and shrugs, "I've barely said a word, my dear."

His term of endearment triggers my vexation. I cannot help the way I roll my eyes at him.

He laughs harder, "what darling reaction."

I move away from him.

He steps closer, "did you know there are necromancers in Volantis?"

I glare at him just to look away again.

He gives me a smirk, "they are learned of tar monsters who enjoy eating village folk."

I turn back to him.

He nudges me with his elbow and turns front, "I've put in good word for you. All you have to do is take a ship to Essos. A witch there will get rid of your problems for you at a fair price."

"Hmm," I raise a brow, "oh, undoubtedly. It clearly is that simple."

Petyr turns to me, "it certainly is. Once the woodland monsters are gone, you'll be able to hunt and gather timber from the forest again," he nods his head, "and so will I."

Aha. I purse my lips and debate his words for a moment.

"And I trust you will allow me to fish in the Sterling River as well."

I look forward when the crowd cheers. I see before me, Lord Clegane and Lord Alistair, circling each other, the latter laughing in excitement, the former blank faced and stern. I turn back to Petyr, "very well."

He nods once more.

I look straight again.

"Perhaps a trip to Volantis is exactly what the loving couple need."

I roll my eyes at him.

Sandor and Cedric begin to tussle. The sound of steel biting steel fills the air. Cedric is an eager opponent, pressing forward every chance he gets. Sandor is relaxed and playing the defensive.

This continues for a while, metal clashing, boots skidding, voices grunting, and it was a rather showy match, at least on Cedric's end. Sandor is barely trying, I could tell. He must be conserving his energy. I've seen the way he's trained with the boys in Brown Wood. He's definitely trying to tire Cedric out.

"This is going to be a long match," Petyr whispers to me.

I turn to him and sigh, "a very long one."

Sandor catches this and feels his lips twitch. He turns back to Cedric.

I gasp when Cedric manages to disarm Sandor. The crowds gasp as well, and Cedric too seems surprised.

Sandor shakes his head, " 'm too fucking drunk for this."

Cedric straightens from his defensive stance.

Sandor nods, "well met."

Lord Alistair nods back, smiles, and turns about to bask in his victory.

As he bows to his guests, the Hound makes a beeline towards me. I watch as he comes close, my heart slowly speeds.

He grabs my arm, "we're leaving."

"Oh!" Cedric calls and gestures our way "a round of applause for the Hound."

The guests turn and cheer for him.

Sandor pulls me to his side.

"Come now," Petyr smirks, "won't you even try to best Lord Alistair in another round?"

Sandor leans down towards Lord Baelish and growls, "fuck off."

With that, I am dragged away.

"Sandor."

The Hound's horse continues treading in front of me.

"Sandor."

The Hound still does not stop, turn, or respond.

"Sandor!" I say louder.

Still nothing.

I make the horse I was riding gallop to his side. He had not spoken to me the whole way back, not when we got on our horses, not when we stopped at an inn for the night, not when we started our journey, and not now that we near the gates of Brown Wood.

"Have you chosen never to speak to me again?" I quip, tightening my grip on my reins. When he looks the opposite direction from me, I scoff and roll my eyes, "should it not be I that never speaks to you, Hound? You've been nothing but insufferable the entire time we were at the feast!"

Sandor still does not budge.

I look forward and catch sight of Brown Wood. I give my horrible husband one last glare before growling and galloping away.

Sandor watches this. He does no effort to follow after.

When I get to the gates, I am immediately greeted by many servants. Polly, in particular, excitedly tells me he's taught the puppies tricks, and quickly leads my horse away after I dismount, keen to tell me more about it.

Lucy, though happy to see me, raised a brow at my missing chaperone, "did you lose your Hound, milady?"

I roll my eyes, "do not speak to me of that beast."

Lucy is bewildered.

I sigh and slump forward, regretting the harshness of my words. I shake my head, "have you prepared a bath for me?"

She knits her brows and nods slowly, "....did something happen at the feast?"

"Of course something happened," I muttered, "the gods are truly testing me." I brush Lucy's arm, "I will tell you more of it later. For now, I need a warm bath."

Lucy nods again and watches me walk off.

Before Polly could follow after, Lucy hooks her fingers into his collar, holding him back. The boy makes a choking sound, stops and turns, staring at Lucy.

"Our lady will not be bothered," she says.

"But the puppies!"

"Later," she pulls her hand away, "go finish your chores if you still have some, boy."

Polly makes a face and grumbles, though he does listen.

Just then, Lucy turns and sees the Hound walking towards the gates, leading his stead by the reins. She waits for him to enter, and the moment he does, she runs her mouth.

"Are ye not tired of playing this game?"

The Hound squints but spares Lucy no glance. He heads for the stables and undoes the ties on his horse.

Lucy flares as she follows after him, "can't you just do us all a favor and stop?"

"I'm not in the mood for nagging, wench."

"Then admit it!"

"Fuckin' what?!" he glares at her.

"That you're mad about your wife!" Lucy snaps.

Sandor stills.

"That you would die for her! That you're upset she wanted to go to another lord's nameday celebration!"

He removes his horse's saddle, "that was a formality."

"YOU'RE A FUCKIN' FOOL!"

Sandor whips his head to her.

"And a coward," Lucy raises a finger.

The Hound chucks the undone saddle to the side and steps forward. He looks down at Lucy, but she is unbothered and unafraid. He is shocked when she shoves him. He topples back.

"She's only ever wanted your love, you thickheaded oaf! Don't you see how hard she tries to please ya?!"

"Please me?" Sandor scoffs, taking another step forward.

"YES!" Lucy shouts, "she wants to be your perfect bride but you know nothing but cruelty. You repay 'er with bitterness."

The Hound feels his mouth sour.

"And puppies."

Sandor watches her wipe her face.

"Because you're not as cruel as you make yourself out to be, milord," Lucy says with frustration.

Sandor feels like the wind was knocked out of his lungs.

"I've caught you when you think no one's looking," she speaks softly, "you love her."

Sandor feels his body burn.

"She loves you."

"She d-"

"Fix it before it gets worse. I beg," she sighs.

The Hound is stunned as the maid walks off.

When Polly spots him, the boy unknowingly grates his nerves as he leads the puppies over and shows all the tricks he's taught them. It wasn't much, in all honesty, just a 'stop' and a 'come here', but the three pups did them well.

Sandor couldn't be impressed, he was far too out of it to be anything but queasy.

He tells Polly he's tired and heads to the bedroom. Polly tells him he wants to show Lady Clegane the tricks before they sleep. He doesn't answer the boy.

Sandor is both disappointed and relieved to find the room empty. His head is heavy as he changes. He feels like he'd sink to the bottom as he goes to bed.

The Hound had been pacing around when I got to the bedroom. He froze when I entered and awkwardly walked back as I headed for the bed.

I didn't speak a word as I went under the covers and laid down. I eyed him as he sat on the edge on the other side, back turned to me. I burn holes into his back with my glare.

It takes a few seconds of him rubbing his lap and him sighing loudly before he breaks his silence.

"I..." he trails off.

I shift in my spot to look at him.

He straightens, "I didn't like the fact that pret-" he cuts himself off and sighs, "that Lord Alistair and Lord Baelish were all over you."

I can't help but scoff, "and you've decided not to speak to me because of some two men's doing?"

"I DIDN'T want to fight," he blurts loudly then softly.

I watch as he slouches and moves on his side to bring himself under the sheets. He sighs as he covers himself and speaks without looking at me, "I don't like fighting you."

I purse my lips at the thought. His words conflict me. I find it aggravating to hear when it felt like he liked the opposite. A side of me is also unwilling to believe it because it was too hard to believe.

The part of me that was still angry at him for being so petty wants to fight back with equal pettiness. But an even larger part of me felt too exhausted and defeated to argue.

"And yet you always do," I speak plainly as I turn my back on him and fluff my pillow. I take in a deep breath while bringing the sheets over my shoulder. I lay down, facing away from him.

I knew he wouldn't have anything to say to that truth, and yet I take a moment to listen in on him. He doesn't speak nor move at all.

I close my eyes, "go to sleep, husband. It's been a long day."

"Aren't you upset with me? I don't want you to sleep upset with me."

My eyes open. My stomach churns. Did he actually care? My lips part but I can't find myself to speak.

"I didn't speak to you because I know what I'd've done if I did."

I take in a sharp breath and give out a broken whisper, "you've done worse."

Sandor lets out an airy chuckle. It doesn't sound amused at all though.

He doesn't respond anymore. Instead, he shifts in his spot and lays down, as far on his end as he could be. He is on side, staring at the dark corner of the room. He musters all his courage, "forgive me, my lady."

My lips part.

Did he just say that?

"What?"

I am shocked when I hear him repeat, "forgive me."

I roll on my back and look at him. I feel like I'm going to vomit. I think my body was shaking.

I inhale deeply through my nose, "what would you have done?"

He takes a moment to respond, "what?"

My courage flees me as I find the need to repeat myself. I turn my back on him again and clutch my chest. I can hear my heart pounding, "what-... you said you didn't speak to me because you knew what you would have done..."

I feel Sandor shift behind me.

I gulp and curl up tighter into myself.

I wait for him to act but he does nothing.

I release a deep breath before speaking, "would you... have hurt me?"

My skin pricks when I hear him sigh, "aye."

I feel sick to my stomach. How could he admit that so easily?

I think of all the worse things he could have done: smack me, shove me, slay me. I feel body begin to grow hot.

Sandor stares at the ceiling then turns to his side. His chest tightens yet he manages to mutter, "I only want to be gentle with you."

I scoff but it sounds strangled because of how tight my throat was. My eyes begin to well up. My broken voice croaks, "how could you say that?!"

The Hound says nothing.

"What?" I scoff, "you hit me then you tend my wounds?"

He doesn't say a word.

I begin to feel my insides burn.

The longest moment passes.

"How did you want to hurt me?" I snap.

He clenches his jaw then chuckles at himself, "I wanted to make you scream my name as I fucked you against a wall."

My heart leaps into my mouth.

The Hound continues, "I wanted all those fuckers to hear, to know what you were mine, that I was the only one who could do that to you, that I was the only one you'd allow to do that."

My blood runs still.

"The things I'd do to you," he mutters, "you'd be disgusted to know them."

My lips quiver as confusion ripples through me. This was the kind of hurt he wanted to inflict?

"But I want to be gentle," he adds, "I really do."

"Is that why you lied about the pups?" I find myself choking out.

Sandor is taken aback. He also hates how apparent the sound of sadness was.

"I know you were the one that found them and brought them home, not Lucy," I whisper.

"Lucy," he sighs, "she loves you so much, that Lucy. And you love her... You'd take a gift from someone you love."

I shake my head, "that's why you lied? You didn't think I would keep them if they were from you?"

"I didn't want to shroud the pups with my being."

"... I can love more people than just Lucy."

I feel him shift behind me.

My heart thunders in my chest.

"One day... maybe I'll be gentle enough for you to love me."

I feel tears rush down my eyes. I move to turn to him, but then his arm comes around me and holds me back.

"Please," his voice breaks, "I can't stand to see you cry or look at me with pity."

My hand comes atop his arm, "Sandor-"

"Can I kiss you?"

My breath catches in my throat.

His heavy breathing makes my entire body burn.

I slowly nod and manage to squeak out a yes.

Sandor immediately sinks his face into my neck and begins to kiss my skin. His lips were hungry and his beard left scratches all over. He snakes his arm tighter around me and pulls me into his chest. My entire body reacts to him, it burns and pricks and pulses. He kisses my cheek; he kisses my tears away.

My belly tumbles when he rubs it. He props himself up on his other arm, "I'll die a happy man to see you love my babe," he trails kisses up my jaw to my ear, "it's more than I'll ever deserve."

I suck in a deep breath and lean into his touch. I press my body flush against his and this elicits a groan from him. He fists my nightgown into his hand and nips my lobe. He draws in deep breaths and sighs against my ear, "I can be gentle. I can be so gentle."

I take his fist and he immediately releases my clothes. His breathing grows more strangled as he shifts behind me.

I push his hand down and he shudders when it comes in contact with my thighs. I release his hand and bring my leg atop of his. I pull my skirt up and mumble, "gentle."

"Fucking gods," he kisses my shoulder and pulls my gown up. He rubs my thigh a few times then sinks his hand underneath my smallclothes.

He shushes me as I grow rigid against him and kisses my neck some more.

I whimper when he pulls my undergarments down and moves his fingers into my soft spot. He very much so gently touches me until I begin to melt against him. I arch my back and lean into him.

"Good girl," he mutters, "such a good girl. My beautiful girl."

"More please," I heave.

Sandor presses his body against mine, "don't have to tell me twice."

I whine his name when he sinks a finger into me. My toes curl and my hand grabs onto his bicep.

I make a sound when he pushes deeper, and an even throatier one when he adds another finger.

Sandor brushes my hair away with his other hand then sinks his face into the crook of my neck. He peppers kisses on my skin and my body burns all the more because of it. I turn my face to him and move my mouth close to his.

Flames rage inside my belly when our lips meet.

He goes still for a second when I kiss him. It takes a few moments before his lips move against mine. Though his beard was tickling my skin, the exchange was lovely. It was warm. It was right.

I bring the hand I had on his arm up to his cheek. My fingers find their way to his scalp where I begin to tug his hair gently.

We pull away when I yelp at the feel of his hand going back to work. Sandor does not relent his kisses on my cheeks, nose, and eye lids.

"Does it feel good?" he asks in between pecks.

I whimper as I nod.

Sandor sighs and grazes his teeth against my neck, "so good."

I mewl when he begins to pump his fingers faster into me.

"So sweet and soft and beautiful-- so, so beautiful against me."

"Sandor-"

"I want to feel you," he growls under his breath, "want to be inside you," he nips my lobe again, "want to fill you up, give you the babe you want."

I nod and chase after his lips. I kiss him desperately, "please."

It's not long until his fingers are replaced by his cock. We both tense against each other then slowly relax and reconnect our mouths.

I am surprised when I feel his tongue brush against my lips. I squeak when he begins to buck his hips into me at a slow but purposeful pace.

He presses his fingers into my inner thigh, pulling that leg closer towards him. I bring my hand down to his forearm and grip him for dear life. He pushes his chest into my back and breaks our kiss to allow us both a breath.

Sandor maneuvers himself into a better position. He nearly has me sprawled on top of him. He locks his grip on my hips and snaps into me with all that he's got.

He calls my name. He calls me beautiful. He calls me his wife. He tells me he loves me.

It's all too much that my eyes begin to water and my belly begins to tighten.

Though his movements were wild and sharp, and though the sound we were both making were loud and lewd, there was something sacred about it, something sincere.

I nearly sob when I come undone. I cry out his name as I feel intense pleasure crash all over my body. My mind is too misty to take into account that Sandor had been repeating the same three words as he too fell into bliss.

He doesn't immediately stop moving. He only does so when I'm laid back on my side again.

I nearly jump out of my skin when I feel him shift away from me.

"Don't pull away!" I snap. I grab his arm and wrap it around me, trapping it between my own. I lean back into him, "don't leave me! You keep leaving me."

Sandor, who was just catching his breath, feels like he was winded all over again. He thinks about the discomfort that this position will bring, but he figures sex just leaves people emotional and clingy sometimes.

He kisses my cheek, "we'll stay like this, if that's what you want."

I nod enthusiastically and turn to kiss him.

When I do however, he pulls his face back. It makes me go rigid.

It takes a second for Sandor to realize what he did. He is now overly conscious of the scar on his face and the damned reflex he has for it. He opens his mouth but he doesn't say anything.

I begin to feel my face burn and yet I'm too stunned to move.

The next moment, we speak at the same time then immediately go silent.

I gulp and turn away from him, bursting out as I did, "I beg your pardon. I didn't mean to overstep."

"You did nothing wrong." he shakes his head.

"You asked if you could kiss me," I mumble, "I didn't do the same."

"You can do whatever you want with me-"

"Sandor-"

"-I belong to you. I am your hound. That's all I am."

My eyes glass at his words. I feel him kiss my nape. My skin pricks when he rubs his hand down my belly.

He sighs heavily, "... sorry for being so broken."

I screw my eyes shut.

"... you can kiss me... if you really want to."

I nearly break my neck turning it back so quick. I press my face against his and just remain like this for a moment. I brush my nose against his textured skin and recall the time I did the same during our wedding night. He pulled away then, he pulled away now.

"I'm sorry you can't trust me," I whisper.

Sandor doesn't have the time to react to that.

I leave about a hundred kisses on his scar before my neck begins to tire. I knit my brows and whisper again, "don't let me go."

I face front and feel sleepiness catch up with me.

"Good night, Sandor."

I vaguely hear him whisper I love you behind me.

Sandor woke up with sunshine shining down his face. He was more than well-rested. He honestly doesn't remember the last time he slept this good.

He stretches in bed and groans. It takes him three seconds to realize he was alone.

It's almost enough to make him shoot upright in panic. The only reason he doesn't is because he quickly thinks it was fucking stupid of him to feel anything, any sort of panic or worry-- worse, hurt or sadness for waking up alone.

He did that many times over, left her alone-- too many times to count, surely more times than the good night's of sleep he's had.

So, he lays there with a stone-heavy pit of emptiness in the middle of his rib cage. There was nothing else to do with it crushing his chest. No amount of reasoning, of rational explanations that his wife was the lady of Brown Wood, who was always busy, who was always attending many other people, nothing could lift the stone weighing down on his chest.

He feels like he's slowly choking.

The Hound only gets up when he hears the small barks of the pups coming from outside. Somehow the idea of his wife waking up to attend to the dogs made this ordeal bearable.

He heads to the bathroom first and freshens up.

After, he heads to the living area and tenses when a pair of servant girls greet him good morrow. His lips twitch as he grunts and nods at them. The girls perk up and stare at him for a second as they pass. He vaguely hears them mumbling 'did he just greet us back?' as they each head their way.

"Fuck," he mutters under his breath. He should have said good morrow in return. Fuck.

It probably doesn't matter. He's been ignoring everyone since they've moved here. Why start now?

Well... he was ignoring everyone except Lucy, who vexingly demanded his attention; Daisy, who used to do the same... and his lady.

Sandor opens the front door and steps outside.

His-

"Lady Clegane," Petyr fucking Baelish nods and reaches a hand to his wife.

Sandor is stunned. This wretched, slimy looking Littlefinger-man was up on his stupidly embellished steed, which, mind you, was too big for the fucker, kissing his wife's knuckles a goodbye.

What the fuck was he doing here so fucking early?

Littlefuckingfinger smiles and straightens up as he releases her. His wife waves goodbye.

As she does so, Littlefinger catches sight of Sandor and his smile pulls into a self-satisfied little smirk. He nods his head once to him and fucking rides off. Even fucking Polly waves him goodbye and it makes him want to chase after him and gouge his eyes out.

"Husband."

The Hound averts his gaze.

Sandor's breath is knocked out of his lungs when he sees his wife gleaming at him.

Fuck, she's walking over.

Everything in him is so overwhelmed by her that he nearly steps back.

She holds something in her hands as she gives him a lopsided smile, "you had a good sleep."

He opens his mouth to speak but a lump in his throat stops him. He gulps.

She laughs. She does so with grace, her pretty teeth all bared to him, "I wished to stay with you until you woke, but I could not leave Brown Wood unattended till late in the afternoon."

For a moment, he is in disbelief and doubts it was actually midday. He looks up and sees, indeed, the sun was at its height.

He looks back to her to apologize for sleeping in, but again, his voice is lost to him. By only taking one step towards him, she renders him powerless. She intensifies it by taking his arm and giving him that look, that look of apprehension that was masked in sweetness. It was maddening.

"Will..." she draws a deep breath, "you let me kiss you?"

What the fuck?

Her brows raise. She pulls her hand away, "y-you don't have to."

"Wait-" gods, did he say that aloud? "-no. You can! You can!" he responds with desperation, "you don't even have to ask."

His wife smiles back at him, but it's not the same.

Gods, he's ruined it again.

He is surprised when she still leans over and gives his cheek a quick peck.

He barely has time blush as he's turning his head to watch her as she walks past him. She says something about breaking fast and he mutters something incoherent in response.

Sandor doesn't even realizes that he's been made to sit down on the dining table, until one of the pups take his seat before he can.

Where did they even come from?

"Fuck off then," he says, shooing the small thing. It barks loudly and then he realizes it's the loud one, Lilac. He growls, "off, Lilac!"

Lilac makes a smaller sound of protest but has no other choice but to get off the chair when Sandor tips it over.

He quickly sits down and makes a victorious face to the puppies, who continue to bark at him.

He watches as the pups quiet down as his wife comes back holding a bowl of stew and a spoon. His insides tingle when she leans close to him to set it down before him. She then drags a chair and sits next to him.

He takes the spoon.

She smiles at him and rests her head on her hand, her elbow on the table, "eat up."

Sandor releases a breath and does just that, "thank you."

He realizes just how hungry he was at this moment. He begins to pig out.

"Thank you for holding me throughout the night."

The Hound almost gargles his food in his throat trying to muster up a response.

She laughs and touches his arm again, "it's alright. Just eat."

Sandor doesn't have a moment to say that he would hold her until she gets sick of him.

His wife straightens up and pushes a something towards him, a letter, it seems, "Lord Baelish gave this to me."

He nearly chokes as he swallows.

He doesn't like the way his wife smiles when she continues to speak of him, "he's given me a map and letters to aid my passage to Volantis-"

"Volantis?" he sets his spoon down with more force than necessary, "the fuck is in Volantis?"

She straightens up, "remember we met at Lord Alistair's nameday?"

"Fucking Alistair."

She sighs through her nostrils, "Lord Baelish spoke to me then of someone who knows how to get rid of the monsters in the forest."

"Am I not enough for you?" he turns his body to her, "you need to hire some sellsword on the other side of the world to kill those fucks for you?"

He watches her withdraw before his very eyes. She brings her hands together and places them on her lap. She purses her lips into a soft smile before speaking, "there is no one in the world, this side or the other, that I would trust with handling the monsters in battle. But," she sighs, "Lord Baelish didn't speak to me of a sellsword. He spoke of a witch."

"And you fucking trust him?" he quips impatiently, "you'd trust a witch vouched by Littlefinger?"

She sighs again. She no longer finds it in her to pull a smile, "I do-"

"Well, don't."

"-because he'll get something out of it."

The Hound clenches his jaw and rubs his knuckles with his thumbs.

"In return for his help, I would be allowing Petyr to access to our fish, game, and wood."

The Hound sighs heavily, "Petyr.'

She shakes her head and chuckles. She chuckles until she breaks into a genuine laugh, "but matters not. If my lord does not approve then there is nothing more to do."

Sandor's stomach sinks when she stands up.

"I'll go ahead with my errands now," she nods and offers a lopsided smile.

Just before she walks away, Sandor grabs her hand and weakly mutters, "no, please. Please stay."

She laughs softly; she laughs sweetly. She places her palm on his knuckles then takes his hand in both of hers. She kisses the back of his hand and shakes her head, "I am not leaving, my lord, merely going off to do my errands."

The Hound stops her from letting go. He clutches her hands firmly in his larger one. He parts his lips to beg her to stay.

But then, he sees her change. He sees her slip on a mask of a dutiful wife. She is about to smile, about to tell him that if he insists, she will stay, for him. He knew in his bones that she would.

And so he lets her go and looks away in shame. He can't bear to look at her, so he clears his throat and compromises, "I'd like to eat with you later... if you have the time."

It takes a long moment for her to respond. Sandor, whose eyes were stuck to the floor, find the pups were now sleeping under the table.

"I would like that too, my love."

Sandor chuckles drily at the pet name and grabs his spoon. He rather bitterly says, mostly to himself, "you don't have to call me that."

He waits for her to walk away.

She doesn't.

He turns to her when he vaguely hears her mumble something. He waits for her to repeat herself, but she doesn't.

"What was that, pretty squirrel?"

She shakes her head and curtsies, "I said enjoy your food."

He watches her walk off. He wonders what she actually said, because it sure as hell wasn't that. He swirls his stew around idly.

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privitivium · 4 months

Text

thinkin about some kind of yan doctor or nurse. nurse would be a afab cutesy dude in that stereotypical "sexy" nurse outfit and amab doctor would look similar to herbert west from re-animator with the hair and glasses. strong jaw and shit.... ahem. goes off the rails, kinda all over the place as these are only ideas. Ahemhrm. some of it doesnt make sense im SORRY.

creep nurse/doctor x clueless, subtop reader

cw + for future references;; manipulation??,,; treating you like an idiot-ish, noncon touching, polite doctor is a freak, cutesy nurse is gross,, drugging ( receiving )

clueless idiot moron you, walks in for a mere checkup. you feel me? just a simple checkup!!! few days after your birthday... waiting in waiting room, nonchalantly staring at the wall and zoning out and making shapes with the swirly-design on the walls when ur name is called by the nurse, a cutesy frail lookin guy, interest is caught by nurse;; gets all blushy and shit, closing in on himself and rubbing his thighs together before leading you to the back to get ur weight and height with you trying to make small talk with no reply.. getting a little upset because you think the nurse is being moody but not engaging any further with a huff..,,

takin you to one of the backrooms. dude poking you with a stick and rubbing that damn popsicle stick all on your tongue - making you choke??? bro turns away toward the cabinets; back facing you, immediately sucking it off. ahem. takin a stethoscope and rubbin it all over ur chest under yr shirt n shit... the normal-ish routine of a normal-ish checkup - doing everything the doctor will do when he arrives.. and then he does! nurse off to the bathroom, masturbating with the fuckin tongue depressor he made you gag with in one of the very clean bathrooms,, doctor coming in, looking over ur charts and ranting to you about some random shit about his day, happily listening as the doctor was a bit more chatty than the cutesy lil nurse..

"yeah, it was pretty busy today... this nurse has been getting on my nerves, i've been thinking about asking to have him transferred.." , asking how your day was as he checks your throat out with a tongue depressor like the nurse did,,, "so how was ur day, hun?" while having a popsicle stick down ur throat... dick bulging as he runs a stethoscope over your chest, cold nitrile gloved hands brushing over your nipples briefly,,, telling you to take deep breaths before moving toward your back - briefly wandering over ur muscles before listening to your lungs - a shiver crawling up his spine,, "you're doin real good for me, champ..." ahem. champ..? doctor says you're all good, patting your shoulder with a bright, gleeful smileㅡbut you should totally come back in a few days, as i'm prescribing you some medicine!

what?? medicine?? looking at him all questioning and saying, "really? whats this for." while shaking the orange bottle.. so quickly he prepared this? jeez.. he waves you off, "for ur immune system - vitamins, don't be silly." you didnt come in here to be prescribed some... what the hell is this - you cant even read this shit. uh...

really? come back again so soon?? yeah, sure alright.. doctors orders and all that.. you shrug it off, take the dosage he prescribed you when home and gettin rock fucking hard and having to repeatedly jerk off just for ur erection to start softening.. layin in ur filth, overstimulated and ultimately tired.. doctors orders and all that, saying that you had to take one a day.. ugh.. doctors orders suck amiright. you did get some sort of reaction like that when taking sleeping medicine but not to the extent of getting an actual erection. hmrmm... not suspicious at all :3

"no, no, you gotta stay more, trust. something is totally wrong with you... have you been taking ur vitamins i prescribed??" you have no family or friends to tell you that no, that place is a fucking wreck with doctors with literally no actual qualifications. LOL

going back the week after for another checkup as the doctor called it, being tired as he trails his nitrile gloved hands over your throat and chest.. asking how the vitamins are treating you and you tell him straight up, "they give me boners that last a while even after i nut.. that normal?" while scratching the back of your head... "yeaah! that happens in the very beginning, but don't worry, that'll go away..." is in awe, lowkey, as he touches the hands that you stroked ur dick with. Ahem. doctor tells you to come back next week ... and you do, nurse guiding you again, and you tell him its good to see him.. which he eagerly says the same, nurse is pretty chatty with you.. happily making conversation about ur shirt and saying he totally likes that band or whatever!!

going over your "charts" and says he needs a sample of your spit / urine?? for the doctor to test becuz its totally regulation, totally unaware that he totally had that he added the sample to his growing shrine in the basement that only had a few tissues and the popsicle stick with a grainy picture of you he took over the cameras in the hall... a copied tape of the feed containing you and all that... freak. so weirded out when they tell you to put on one of the hospital gowns and follow them to the larger area that turns into an actual hospital rather than office..,,,

#ocs =͟͟͞͞★#“polite” doctor and cute nurse ...#x male reader #male reader #x top male reader #top male reader #yandere doctor #yandere nurse!#subtop reader

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broodingheroine · 4 months

Text

tmagp7 thoughts

WRESTLING WITH TAPE RECORDERS AND MANILA FOLDERS??? immediately with the references wtf

celia don't be curious abt the computers

CELIA STOP BEING WEIRD

she def knows who's in the computers

SHES LISTING THE FEARS WHAT THE FUCK

"you won't need to know about tma to enjoy tmagp" yeah okay what the fuck is this then

HILLTOP?

is derek chambers a name I should remember. check this later.

can't remember his name 👀

shouting human face? wtf

also lol bumbling new volunteer who has nothing on his resume but is punctual and hardworking. not martin coded at all.

another name they can't remember

lowkey giving the anatomy students episode of tma

BEARSKIN RUG??? SKIN????

the items are definitely cursed right

more forgotten names and lost paperwork 🤨

it's REALLY giving anatomy students

taxidermy. hm.

also kind of breekon and hope taking over breekon and hope vibes

so hoarding

GUNSHOTS????

fire..... hilltop....... hmmmm.........

security organization.......

THE VOICE THREW YOU

CELIAAAAA YOU KNOWWWW

THOUGHT YOU RECOGNIZED IT AAAAA

SHES TOTALLY FROM THE EYEPOCALYPSE

colin :)

JON???? FUCKING JON????????? WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

the real stuff???? what the fuck colin

colin ur paranoia is showing

COLIN WHAT THE FUCK

go gwen! blackmail ur boss!

SHE SHOT HIM?

oh he's not dead? ohhhhhh

SHE GOT PAID TO KILL A GUY?

GWEN WHAT SOURCE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

bouchards old money confirmation?

REAL WORK?

EXTERNALS LIASON? WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

NOW I HAVE TO WAIT A WEEK??????????

god okay so

is the oiar secretly the security team that burned the hilltop place down? that's obviously what the external liason will be right. but then what would the response department end up being?

colin is devolving extremely quickly and im deeply upset about it. no "outside" electronics. as opposed to...?

once again: EMAIL FROM JON???? what did it say. what was it about.

"you don't need to know anything about tma to listen to tmagp" yeah BULLSHIT like I'm sure you don't NEED it but it certainly HELPS

gwen going to lena is giving the archival crew confronting elias abt murdering leitner except gwen has dubious morals and is unapologetically in it for her own gain

which I do appreciate. a protagonist who's willing to admit she's in it for herself and nothing else? love.

I do question whether the oiar office work is done purely as a front for whatever lena is bringing gwen into or if it does actually serve a purpose.

like I said up there somewhere, celia is definitely a transplant from the tma verse. there's no way she's not.

okay I think I'm done? that was a lot..... like a lot a lot

so I think I'm gonna go lay down and die now

#tmagp #the magnus protocol #tmagp spoilers #the magnus protocol spoilers #tmagp 7 #tmagp 7 spoilers #tmagp thoughts

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stormberry-12 · 1 year

Note

Hellooo how are you this fine evening..

I wanted the ask if you could make one for jj where he does something that upsets the reader and she’s crying and sad and jj gets the silent treatment the whole week but he starts to cry hard and beg for her to talk to him and reader can’t help but comfort and hug him and give him all the love that she has and jj is all pouty and sad in the end

It’s fine if not <3 :)

didn't mean to ~ jj maybank x reader

pairing: JJ Maybank x Kook!Fem!Reader

warnings: language, angst, arguing, silent treatment.

notes: thxs for the request! Sorry I haven't posted in forever guys, im doing final exams at school rn and stuff. Also, sorry this is so short. But anyway, I loved this concept and also hated the way they solved JJ and Kie's fight in Season 4 so I tried to recreate it here with a better ending. Sorry, this took so long lol, much love!

~<>~<>~<>~<>~

"I mean, it would all blow up anyway. You know? Like... Look at you. You got your new threads on!" JJ exclaimed. "Look at me. What do I got? This? This piece of shit?" He threw something out of frustration, panting. You looked back at his run-down house, the eviction notice nailed to the front door with bright yellow police tape crossing over it.

"Getting kicked out of this place in three weeks anyway. shit, I don't even got parents right now. Why would you care? Why would you care? I'm just some loser that..."

"JJ..."

"You don't care. No, you don't!"

"I do care!" you shouted, getting frustrated with his attitude.

"No, you got parents that live in Figure Eight, you know?"

"That's not my fault."

"That's your future." he countered walking towards the water, hand running through his hair in frustration.

"Look, if you need us, we're gonna help you. I'm... I'll help."

"No- It's that right there! Okay? Like... It's so easy for you to say that." he whirled around to face you, yelling, "You know why? Because you're a Kook. You're a Kook, Y/n!"

"Yeah... I'm a Kook. I was such a Kook when I was living in a cave with you for a month! Soaking in the Kook life!"

"That's not what I'm talking about. GOD!" he exclaimed, reaching for his bike, he swung his leg over the seat.

"Jayj, don't leave." you pleaded, the engine of his bike revved and he started to drive away,

"JJ, WHAT THE HELL?" You screamed after him, tears rolling down your face, "MAYBANK!"

~<>~<>~<>~<>~

You were pissed the fuck off.

The first day after your fight you hadn't seen JJ, you cried for a couple hours, indulging in your favorite ice cream watching a sad rom-com, really getting in your feels.

Kie texted you to ask you what was up, the pogues had gone fishing that day but you never showed, to angry and sad to show your face to the world.

'Ask the blond kid,' was all you responded. you watched as her three typing bubbles flashed beneath your text.

'shit head's not here either,' she responded. 'wtf is going on,'

'fight. he called me a kook.'

'oh shit,' was all she said.

~<>~<>~<>~<>~

A few days later you walked around the chateau and dug through John B's fridge, you were fully aware of JJ's presence on the couch but still continued to ignore him. It was closing in on a week since you had last uttered a word to him.

Grabbing a chilled beer you walked past JJ and to the front door.

"Y/n," he said, voice cracking.

It wasn't the first time JJ had tried to talk to you this week and once again you ignored him. You slipped your shoes on and walked out onto the porch, slamming the door behind you. You flinched at how harsh it was but brushed the feeling away as you took a sip of your drink.

You sat at the edge of JJ's hot tub, the disco lights twinkled in the water, and the beer started to make you feel nauseous. You set it down and let out a shaky breath, blinking away tears that made the colorful lights spur in all different directions.

'Oh stop it Y/n' you told yourself, you would not cry anymore over this boy, if he didn't want to date a 'kook' that was his problem.

~<>~<>~<>~<>~

A long time must have passed, you had slid down fully into the hot tub finishing off your drink and basking in your own thoughts. The sun had set and the tides changed across the water.

"Go!" You heard someone on the deck grunt, you looked up to see John B pushing JJ out the door towards you locking him outside. JJ made his way down the stairs awkwardly and stood at the edge of the hot tub across from you, not getting in like he was looking for your permission.

"What do you want Maybank?" you asked quietly.

"I-uh," he sniffled and you focused closer in the dim light to see tears streaming down his face. "I made you a bracelet,"

He mumbled in the softest voice that made your heart clench and reached out to hand it to you. You looked at it closely, intricate little hearts knotted into the design, made with your favorite colors. And of course, the sea blue strings that you had told him reminded you of his eyes countless times. You didn't know what to say. Until you heard the soft sobbing coming from his lips, he thought you didn't like it.

"No, JJ..." you cooed, wrapping the bracelet around your wrist and tieing it in a crisp knot. You slid yourself through the water and stood in front of him taking in his state. He looked at you with pleading eyes and you wrapped your arms around him. He collapsed into you, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face in your shoulder. You felt butterflies in your stomach at his touch and lifted a hand to stroke his hair. God you loved this boy so much.

"I-i'm sorry," he cried, "I called you a kook, I'm such a dick, It's all my fault..."

"No, Jayj-" you whispered.

"Yes,"

"No, I am in the wrong too, shouldn't have ignored you like that," you whispered.

"But I called you a kook," he said again.

"And then I was acting like one, it was wrong,"

You stood there in silence hugging each other, you you feel his breathing slow and he recovered to look up at you.

"Please forgive me," he said.

"Always, as long as you forgive me," he nodded frantically at you causing you to giggle.

"Thank god that's over," you heard Pope say in the distance.

"Yeah, pass me one of those?" Kie said, taking a beer out of the cooler, the rest of the pogues walking toward the hot tub.

You all settle down in the warm water, JJ snuggling into your side, looking at your bracelet sweetly for the rest of the night. You kissed the top of his head, knowing what ever happed in the future you could always get through it with him.

~<>~<>~<>~<>~

Tag list: @sarahskywalker-amadala @sunasro @idli-dosa @aslanvez @somerandos-world @vivian-555 @loverofdrewstarkey @totallynotkaibiased @jjmaybankisbae @fishingirl12 @antagonize-me-motherfucker @princessbl0ss0m @pank0w @callsigndiamond @brynley-a-xoxo @plk-18 @fallingwallsh @hemogloban @valentineshiftz @taintedxkisses

#jj maybank #obx #angst #jj maybank x reader #outerbaks #fluff #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank blurb

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batbabydamian · 6 months

Note

question- do you mind doing fic recs? And if so, do you have any good fics centered around Dick and Damian's relationship? In particular anything that plays with their whole "I'm your brother but also your father/son but not but yes" thing they've got going on? If you see this thank you, you're doing the lord's work <3

anon if you’re still out there, thank you for your patience and hope you enjoy these! there’s MANY Dick&Damian fics i love so i tried to limit it to the “im your brother AND kinda your dad but not really” dynamic!!

3:16 by partingxshot

The knife pushes thin along Dick’s carotid artery, cupping the indent between neck and jawline—forcing him to angle his chin. The metal is warm, pulled with execution speed from under Damian’s pillow. “Okay,” Dick says quietly, tracking the intricacies of his own heartbeat—counting the space between breaths. “Guess I did need a shave.” (With faltering steps, Dick and Damian become Batman and Robin.)

i think every Dick & Damian enthusiast has read this lol it may be ongoing but its latest chapter is left on a very satisfying end for an arc!!

an endless road to rediscover by littlearrows

In the months before Mar'i is born, Dick and Damian take a cross-country road trip together.

if you enjoyed the Dick and Damian tension from Nightwing (2016) #16-20 you might like this! :’) encouraging everyone to read those issues tbh

to be human by newsical

None of his Gotham acquaintances look upon his old life favorably — this, Damian knows. Was his life not noble before? Damian feels like a waterboarded gnat, swirling towards a drain. Gently, as though he has not ripped out Damian’s stomach with his teeth, Alfred says, “Attempting to take his father’s place won’t work, Master Richard…” Their voices peter out, and the last thing Damian can hear is Richard huff and say something that sounds like, “No shit,” and he is alone. Somewhere, a clock ticks. Damian pictures it melting. (Dick and Damian over the years.)

lovely dive into Damian’s personal growth and his relationship with Dick!! reading the poem that inspired the fic, especially again after finishing the fic is a nice touch!

Do You Feel the Way My Past Aches? by fishfingersandjellybabies

Bruce finds a wayward Damian asleep on his couch. Dick then find them both. An unexpected conversation ensues.

a tender Bruce perspective on the dynamic! “Bruce thought back to watching them work, Dick the master of the spotlight and Damian his perfect shadow.” THEM

When You're The One Who's Loved by fishfingersandjellybabies

Damian doesn’t understand why Dick is so upset. Tim does, though.

SO SOFTT ykw just go thru all of this writer's Dick & Damian fics they just exude love and warmth!!

Tea for Two by StormLeviosa

Their apartment is full of smiles now. It is because of Pennyworth, he is sure. Damian did not realise how much he'd missed Pennyworth until he came back. He slotted into their little family like the puzzle piece you do not know is missing. It was pleasant, having a grandfather he did not need to fear, and Pennyworth was all that and more.

part of a series, but easily read as a standalone. they’ve given up the vigilante life and DOMESTIC DICK & DAMIAN + ALFRED!! WHOLESOME!! i also enjoy the other Damian installments of the series, fun explorations of his interests/skills like violin!! and animals (going to vet school!!)

Pop-tarts and orange juice by Ididloveyou_once

‘Do you ever wish that Father had actually died?’ ‘Never.’ And despite the vehemence with which Richard says the word, Damian thinks that he might be lying. But only because he hates himself for the truth. Or: Bruce has been back from the dead for three months. Damian doesn’t know how to feel. He does know that he misses his da- Richard. They talk about it… Sort of.

"He wants to tell him that nothing compares to being Robin at his side. To being Damian at his side." WAILING

The Weight of Legacy by DawnsEternalLight

Damian didn’t think. He didn’t have to, protecting Richard was instinct by now. Darting forward right into the arc of Crane’s scythe as it aimed for his partner’s neck was as familiar to him as breathing, etched into his DNA. For if he lost Richard again, how could he continue to exist? The man was not only his firmest tie to Batman’s mantle, now that Father was home and clashing with Damian, but at some point during their partnership he had inexorably woven himself into Damian’s very being. Through training, and lessons, and quiet nights filled with ice cream. Patience and love–a thing Damian had not hoped to find here when he’d first set foot on American soil. To lose Richard would be akin to losing a limb. And so Damian acted as if that were true. He wove protection of his mentor, Batman, sibling, into every action he took and refused to accept failure as an option.

"We Both Know You're The Last of the Graysons" as a fic prompt is wild...that panel never fails to make me cry... also, another writer with an abundance of fantastic Dick & Damian fics!!

Emergency Contact by DawnsEternalLight

Damian: Apologies for the intrusion into your day, Richard. I need you to pick me up from the gallery trip early, it seems I have been stabbed. Dick blinked down at the message then read it again. And again. His brain not quite processing the words staring up at him, backlit by the phone.

this ventures bit more into parent Dick Grayson, as in Damian explicitly calling Dick his dad at the end but it's a fun fic!! that preview always cracks me up LOL

The Stowaway by LittleLadybugs

There's a cat in the penthouse. Fortunately, Alfred has yet to find out. Now to keep it that way. OR Dick tries his best to parent Damian. Damian tries his best, period. They’re both a bit clumsy, but they’ve got the spirit. There might be a cat Meow ᓚᘏᗢ 💙💚

smiling and laughing through this whole fic THEY ARE SO SILLY I LOVE THEM

as love carries its strength, but not its labels by AlterHarpia

Bruce is on a trip beyond Earth’s Solar System for longer than he intended, making Dick and Damian fall into an old pattern. “I'm not Batman.” A mere reminder, perhaps, but when said to Damian it always sounds like an apology.

basically them putting into words their own funky lil dynamic!!

Let The Right One In by whaleofatime

Hot on the trail of Deadshot threatening mayhem in Japan, Dick and Damian find themselves going undercover as a father-son duo on House Hunters International. Deadshot won't be the only source of chaos in Tokyo this summer, and Dick's only a little apologetic.

okok kinda cheating here since they’re just undercover as dad and son lol BUT it’s such a fun read of the duo on a Japan trip (mission)!

the primacy of personal conscience by birdsofthesoul

"WHAT MAKES IAGO EVIL? some people ask. I never ask." — Joan Didion, Play It as It Lays Or: Dick, his family, and the moral morass of a wishing well.

cheating again bc plot not focused on Dick and Damian’s relationship, but it’s there! really enjoyed the characterizations and dynamics here!!

soft clocks by dustorange

Side effects of being revived by Lex Luthor may include amnesia, going undercover into a high-level espionage agency, not recognizing your family, fighting your family, and dealing with the emotional weight and guilt associated with encountering said family. Ask your doctor if being revived by Lex Luthor is right for you. (a.k.a. Dick has amnesia during his time at Spyral. The family grapples with finding out he's alive. Dick grapples with finding out he has a family. Inspired by this post by bigskydreaming.)

lol sorry another not focused on their relationship but!! came and stayed for the plot, then the Dick & Damian moments KNOCKED ME OUTT!!

#anon #fic #i just realized i never made an ask tag sgdhfh #sorry this took so long ive been hella busy and combing thru almost 400 fics is a lot hahagsfshdj #someone ask me for Dick and Damian during their Batman and Robin days lol THE BLUEPRINT OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAHH #but then there’s more fics after that era…ask for those too idk HAHA #ask

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chansslvr · 3 months

Text

linked lines-hwang hyunjin x male reader

+hwang hyunjin+

+003, linked lines, hwang hyunjin, _chansslvr+

+genre; angst+

masterlist

warnings: mentions of bl00d, beating the reader up, angst, divorced parents, abuse, swears (i think im not too sure lol)

m/n lived in a world where everybody had soulmates. they could communicate by drawing/writing on their body. most people found their soulmates, but m/n wasn't keen at all. in fact, he promised himself that he would never meet his soulmate, he would only drag them down.

m/n hated his life at this point. he was depressed, and if he said he wasn't he'd be lying. even though it was pretty severe, he was still popular. people did notice how he was usually upset or quiet, but nobody commented on it. he was popular due to his looks. did he like the attention? sometimes. and those 'sometimes' were very very rare. he was pretty, and everybody knew it.

m/n was currently in maths, and he hated the subject. hell, he hated school. what was the point? it wasn't gonna get him anywhere anyway. m/n furrowed his brows as his teacher kept on talking about algebra. how the hell did letters have anything to do with numbers? he looked down at his book, to be met with a few answers he copied from the person next to him.

with a sigh, m/n grabbed his pen. after a few seconds of hesitation, and thinking of the detention he was 100% going to get, he began doodling on his arm. it was small, nothing too special. it had loads of lines, like he was sketching. except it was on his arm. m/n continued doodling until he got bored. he sighed again and looked back at his book, deciding to focus on his work.

towards the end half of the lesson, m/n felt a tingling sensation on his arm. he pulled his sleeve up ever so slightly to see the words 'you're a good artist!' with a small smiley face. m/n furrowed his brows and picked up his pen, quickly writing down 'no i'm not.' he watched again as the tingling sensation came back. now the words 'don't think so badly of yourself' proudly presented themselves on his wrist.

m/n frowned and put his pen down, resting his elbow on the table and letting his head lean on his palm. before he knew it, the lesson ended. with a slight groan, m/n stood up and packed away his belongings before abruptly leaving the classroom, ignoring the yells from the teacher saying stuff like, "i didn't tell you to pack up!" and scoldings, along with the murmurs and whispers from the class.

it was now saturday, which m/n dreaded. tomorrow, he had a taekwondo competition tomorrow, which he was not excited for. he heard rumours that a group called 'stray kids' were going to perform. he shrugged it off, and sat at his desk. he put on his headphones to ignore the yelling coming from downstairs as his father yelled at his new 'girlfriend.'

his parents had gotten divorced when m/n was around ten, he remembered the day as if it was yesterday.

"i'm sick of this, minjun! we have been married for fourteen years and you're deciding to cheat on me now?!" m/n's mother yelled at m/n's father. m/n watched from behind the wall, tears streaming down his cheeks. his parents had gotten into fights, but they were never this bad.

"for the last time sun hee, i was not cheating!" m/n's father screamed back. the day was perfectly fine before m/n's father had brought someone home from work. m/n saw it too. he watched as his father made out with some young, ugly woman. 'doesn't papa only do that with mama?' m/n asked himself as he watched from the sofa, as his father was now unbuttoning the lady's blouse.

then, they went upstairs. m/n furrowed his eyebrows, before shrugging and turning back to the tv. after a few hours, m/n heard the front door open. m/n's mother entered, she looked tired as usual. she entered the living room after taking off her heels and replacing them with slippers."ah, m/n. has papa fed you yet?" m/n looked up at his mother and shook his head. m/n heard his mother sigh, probably from fatigue, and gently kissed m/n's temple. the gentle, loving gesture being cut by a loud moan. m/n's mother pulled away from his son's forehead and looked at the stairs.

"one second, mama will be back, okay?" m/n's mother ruffled m/n's hair and went upstairs. m/n looked at the stairs for a few seconds before looking back at the tv. all of a sudden, m/n heard his mother scream. it was more of a gasp, but the kid was nine, his imagination wild, what did you expect? m/n went upstairs, and watched from behind the door as m/n's mother stood, frozen in shock, horror, disgust and anger as she saw her husband sleeping with another lady.

"what the hell?!" m/n's father yelled in english, looking up to see his wife. he sat up and glared at her.

that's how they were in the situation now. after a few minutes of loud yelling, and the lady getting up, dressing herself and leaving, m/n's mother now grabbed a suitcase and began packing her belongings. "yah, sun hee! what are you doing?!" m/n's father yelled, standing up and watching as his, now, ex wife packing to leave. "i'm leaving. forget you and your cheating ass!" m/n's mother cursed as she opened the closet, grabbing all of her clothing. after what seemed like hours, m/n's mother left the bedroom, then noticed her son. she put the suitcase down so it stood up and kneeled so she was on the same eye level as her son.

she gently caressed m/n's wet cheek, dripping with salty tears full of upset and horror. "m/n, mama will be back okay?" she pulled m/n into a hug, but all m/n could do was stand there in shock. "mama, where are you going?" m/n managed to say, his eyes wide and lips trembling. "mama's gonna take a break from papa. be a good boy for mama, yeah?" m/n's heart broke as he realised his mother was leaving. for good.

"why are you leaving me, mama?" m/n asked, his little face now scrunched up in upset. "mama isn't leaving you. she's gonna be back when she can, alright? don't cry my baby." she brought m/n's head to her chest, caressing his scalp gently. all while this was happening, m/n's father glared daggers into his son. he was the problem, and he knew it. but he still blamed it on his good for nothing son. after a few minutes of m/n's whimpering, his mother pulled back, smiling slightly, her eyes red from crying too much. she kissed m/n's forehead and stood up, dusting off her skirt and leaving. m/n ran downstairs, he couldn't let his mother leave him. no way. his heart got shattered into millions of pieces as his mother walked out, not even looking back once.

then, m/n just grew up. he was hit, by his father, but also hit with the emotional trauma and depression he had got gifted. now and again, m/n's father got a new side hoe, m/n was so grateful for those times. then, he wasn't hit. instead, it was the women who got his pain.

m/n shivered as the memory bubbled back up from the deep dark depths of his mind. he looked down at his arm, still seeing the writing from earlier. he scrubbed his arm with a wet tissue before giving up and starting on his long pile of homework. after completing three assignments, one being of art and the other two science (more specifically chemistry and biology), he felt the tingling sensation on his arm. he looked down and saw a few sentences. m/n's brows furrowed as he read through them. it clearly read 'hey, yk we are soulmates and all, right? i was wondering why you never write. like, the only time i hear from you is when your doodling all over our arms, and then writing random letters.'

m/n groaned and picked up a pen before clearly writing 'i don't want a soulmate. i don't want you, and you shouldn't want me either, okay? i'm not interested, alright? and also, why don't you get it? if im not writing, it's pretty clear i want nothing to do with you. leave me alone and don't write to me.' m/n could feel his heart wrenching when he wrote that. he didn't mean to word it so harshly, he just didn't want to make his soulmate feel depressed because of his pity story. he rubbed his eyes, tears now threatening to fall. he played his song louder to drown out the yelling from his father and starting his english essay.

*hyunjin pov*

hyunjin felt his heart breaking as he read the words his soulmate wrote. he was in the practise room, he was sitting in the corner, leaning on the wall. the other members were drinking, more like gulping, down water. hyunjin, however, thought that this was the perfect opportunity to communicate with his soulmate. seungmin eventually noticed hyunjin's heart broken expression and sat down next to him and glanced at his arm.

*sorry i don't rlly know what to write here- but it's basically all the members finding out that hyunjin's soulmate was a 'bitch'*

m/n sighed as he pulled off his shirt to change. it was now sunday, which meant he had a huge taekwondo competition. he was in the changing room, and was getting changed. his coach was trying to hype up m/n with shoulder pats and words of advice. basic stuff like, "you're my best student kid, you can do it." and "i have faith in you."

after changing, and being introduced to one of his many opponents, the competition began. m/n was quite a thin boy, due to the basic lack of nutrition his father provided, but still managed to beat the other, much bigger and muscular, guy. m/n put his pain and trauma into every punch and kick. it wasn't like anybody was rooting for him. why was he even doing this in the first place? all these questions bombarded m/n's mind and before he knew it, the second round was over. with a few pants for breath, m/n bowed to his opponent before his coach came into the ring and patted m/n's back with a proud grin.

"m/n, i knew you could do it!" m/n looked up to his coach and smiled slightly. for once, he seemed slightly proud of himself. he was brought to a bench to recharge for his last and final opponent, he was pretty big so m/n had to work pretty hard to win. there was a short break and stray kids came up on stage. m/n raised a brow as he began drinking his water. so the rumours were true. stray kids began to perform venom and maniac. through the performance, m/n was sat next to his coach, who was telling m/n how proud he was, and stuff like that.

m/n's coach was the only type of father figure he had, and his coach understood m/n's situation and had loads of sympathy for the boy. m/n's coach was nice, friendly, the middle aged father figure everybody needed once and a while. m/n could remember those nights where he couldn't handle it anymore, and whose arms did he run into? his coach. m/n knew his coach since he was five, where his mother and father brought him to a taekwondo class. his mother said it was needed in case m/n was in a risky situation, but never expected m/n to get a brown belt when he was nine. his father, however, couldn't give a shit.

m/n rested his head against his coach's shoulder. "hey, who organised the whole performance thing?" m/n asked curiously as he watched stray kids perform maniac. "oh, one of the directors, i believe." m/n's coach replied, watching the performance too. "ah, okay." m/n nodded slightly, sitting up and drinking some of his water.

after the performance, stray kids sat back down in their seats, the next and final match beginning. the members had to admit, that the h/c boy was pretty good. especially if he took down all those bigger guys he had to go against. after a few minutes of throwing punches and kicks at each other, m/n's opponent finally fell to the mat. m/n looked up, panting, and looked at his coach who was grinning so hard his jaw probably ached.

"l/n m/n has won the competition." the presenters announced through the black speakers located around the hall/stadium. m/n's coach practically burst into tears as he watched m/n's arm get raised by the referee (im not rlly sure, i don't do taekwondo, please correct me if i'm wrong). after m/n's win was announced, m/n's coach quickly ran up to m/n and hugged him tightly. "m/n! you did it! i knew you could!" m/n could hardly hear his coach as the crowd erupted into screaming. m/n smiled slightly, just slightly and was brought off the mat. he was given his bottle of water and a few minutes later, had to go back up to receive his award by the idols.

chan gave m/n his medal with a smile and congratulating him. m/n muttered a small 'thank you' as he received the award. when m/n reached his arm out to be handed his medal, all the members then saw the writing that had also been on hyunjin's arm. hyunjin's smile just faded and the same thing happened with the rest of the members as they were now slightly glaring at m/n. after he received the award, m/n's coach approached m/n and brought him back to the changing rooms, now pulling him into a sort of side hug.

now m/n was by himself in the changing rooms. he pulled his shirt off of his shoulders and shook his head, trying to get some of the sweat out of his hair. he was about to change, but he was suddenly pushed to the lockers, the lockers banging loudly against each other. m/n's breath hitched as he looked up at the guy who he thought was going to kill him. to his surprise, it was the guy who gave him the award.

"shit." he curses and began struggling against chan's grip. "what the hell? get off of me." he tried to push chan off, but his grip tightened. all of a sudden, m/n felt blood coming out of his mouth, and leaking from his nose. it took him a few seconds to realise he just got punched in the face by one of the other members. 'fuck, i'm going to die today. twice.' m/n thought as he realised he was probably going to get beaten up here, then get beaten to a pulp at home by his father, who was most likely already beginning his drinking cycle.

he tried to kick the two members off but only got met with a punch to the stomach. m/n shook his head and began to feel lightheaded. he was used to it, though. his body just got used to the beatings, but some places weren't quite prepared. as soon as he felt another punch in the shoulder, he knew he was gonna faint or die. whichever came first.

before he knew it, his head just lunged forward as he lost consciousness. chan immediately let go of the boy, his body going limp and falling to the ground, unfortunately for m/n, head first. "chan, what the fuck did you do?!" minho whisper yelled as he looked at the now bleeding boy. "i didn't punch him! it was changbin and jeongin!" minho turned to the two boys who just stared at the unconscious boy laying on the, what seemed to be, concrete floor. "fuck, we're going to prison." felix said and shook his head before trying to grab the boy. seungmin nodded slightly and helped felix, now laying the boy on his back so he was facing the ceiling.

well, if he was alive anyway. chan, along with the rest of the members leaned in ever so slightly to see the boy's injuries. han flinched and took a few steps back. to say they were bad, would be an underestimation. m/n now had a bleeding nose, blood literally oozing out of his mouth, a bruise on his temple and a cut on his forehead. "shit." chan whispered. "someone check his pulse." felix suggested and changbin quickly brought two fingers to the boy's left upper side of his neck. "he's alive. i think." seungmin rolled his eyes and put his hand on the boy's now bruised chest. "yeah, he's alive."

word count; 2803

#kpop male reader #skz male reader #skz x reader #stray kids male reader #kpop #kpop bg #stray kids #stray kids x reader #hyunjin #hyunjin stray kids #hyunjin skz #hwang hyunjin #skz angst #angst #kpo #fanfic #kpop fanfic #fanfiction #kpop angst

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bwbawa · 6 months

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hello, so I'm questioning if I'm autistic so i can reach out for a diagnosis maybe, and i saw another person do this so i wanted to try it out

i wrote a list of some of the things i think that are autistic traits about me and if anyone would like to please read them and tell me if they could be autism or maybe smth else? lol, just as a big favour really. I'll give more context if any is needed, thanks so much!!

also please reblog for reach if you want to, thank you

ts bellow the cut :]

- stimming ( twirling and braiding hair, used to suck on my own hair as a kid, rocking back and forth, doing ??? weird stuff with ny mouth and fingers lol, moving legs a lot)

- echolalia; internal, repeating phrases and songs on my head, but also doing sounds with my mouth

- always feeling like an outsider. This wasn't bad for me as a kid since i was very into creepypastas and media related to being an outcast, i never related it to something bad until adolescence which im still in, and I'm more insecure now about it.

- also, very extroverted as a kid, didn't get social cues and was offensive sometimes

- couldn't and still can't control my strength very well ( sometimes things fall out of my hands or i touch someone harder than i wanted to)

- sensitive skin, to heat cold and pain

- very talkative, as a baby was LITERALLY born babbling

- not good at eye contact, either do way too much or way too little

- terrible at maths (jst not logical to me??? dk how people find them logical )

- kinda restrictive interests but no special interests

- very picky as a child, fav foods were salted noodles with ketchup or by themselves. ( still can't stand some foods and mixing some foods together )

- horrible coordination and balance: didn't learn to tie my shoes correctly, how to ride a bike or how to swim, i bought wheelies and cant use them because my balance is horrible, i run weird (like a baby kind of) and I'm always stumbling on my own feet

- again, didn't learn some stuff until grown: didn't know how to shower correctly or make my bed ( could be due to being very taken care of as a kid, aka my mom didn't let me do stuff by myself )

- terrible spacial awareness: again, stumbling with my own feet, waddling like a penguin when i walk with my friends lol

- bad perception of time

- got upset when things didn't go my way

- ran away when kids were being too loud but didn't mind big performances loud spaces

loud THUDS or sudden noises however startle me, scare me and stress me out: was and still am kind of afraid of balloons, shouting people and loud thuds. As a baby i cried when someone spoke too loudly

- lately I'm much more sensitive to stimuli than i was, could be due to heightened stress in my life: badly done beds make me want to cry, crumbs on the bed feel like hell, heat and sweating are hell, some months ago i cried because my sunglasses and headphones weren't working and there were too many sounds, my head it hurted and everything felt wrong, sent me into a kind of crisis.

- don't think I'm overly empathetic, but i have a strong sense of justice and get very upset and ill about injustices.

related to that, movies and shows that require a lot of stress i don't like, they make me feel ill and i prefer spoilers when it's like that, i get too nervous.

- socially awkward and don't know how to keep conversations going, at least small talk.

- although i used to talk a lot, nowadays i prefer to stay quiet sometimes.

- i get VERY angry and frustrated but it goes away kind of quickly?

-i used to be very loud and I still dont know how to control my tone of voice ( how loud or quiet i am) and i spoke in a very high pitched voice as a child

- i used to read a lot, went to the library in the recess instead of hanging out all the time with kids and used some complicated words that my parents didn't know i knew

- all my life i only had one close friend ( not the same, but always one)

- i think i had a specific routine of morning

- i have a hard time concentrating and being organized

- i make plans for myself in the night and get upset when OTHERS interrupt it but not when i do

- hard time knowing when to pee and when to eat

- again sensory issues, some foods make me want to puke, and wet, sticky or extremely dry hands are disgusting. Also, light touches feel like anger.

- as a kid I repeatedly watched stuff, ended up boring my family because i only wanted to watch that multiple times

- sensory seeker as a kid kind of, slept with my feet up, danced a lot (stimming?)

-i get irritated easily and can hurt people verbally

- don't know if related but i sometimes very anxious, get upset about not saying goodbye correctly to certain people, as a kid i used to cry and didnt want to go to school because of a "bad feeling" that smth bad was gonna happen, could be anxiety.

i absolutely sure there's more, but I don't wanna keep typing

just to finish, most of my circle is neurodivergent. And family wise, my sister is audhd, one cousin and uncle are autistic, my mom has adhd and two of my cousins are suspected autistic.

#audhd #self diagnosed autism #undiagnosed autism #autism #am i autistic?#neurodivergent #adhd #autistic teen #autistic girls #autistic #autistic things #autistic traits #undiagnosed neurodivergent #undiagnosed autistic #undiagnosed adhd #neurodiversity

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hazshit-hotel-hater · 1 month

Note

The way substance abuse has been handled on the show thus far genuinely upsets me and reeks of writers who either 1.) don't understand the subject matter they're presenting and haven't done even the bare minimum to research it or, worse, 2.) simply don't care.

Apologies for the slight rant incoming, your comment about how it has been mostly "handled" off-screen got me going because that's 100% true and in that truth is such a missed opportunity for the show. The way it has been handled winds up feeling incredibly shallow and juvenile at the end of the day, especially for a piece of media that is attempting to present itself as "adult" and navigate multiple incredibly sensitive topics. I'll try not to get into my own personal experiences and will speak broadly, but the show uses substance abuse more as a cheap character flaw to poke fun at or something to magically handwave away when it is inconvenient, rather than the life-altering, debilitating illness that it is.

Nothing about Angel's use is ever meaningfully explored. It's so (apparently) unimportant to his arc and development that one rude comment from Husk (a character who ALSO has a problem with gambling and alcohol that is never addressed) is all it takes for him to suddenly "resist temptation" and be shown as "recovered" (unless I'm misremembering). Or was he suddenly going to counseling off-screen too and its just another thing that will be told to us rather than shown? And how does Charlie even handle that at the Hotel (I'd be really interested in this as a moment for her character to have to grow/change too)? Does she even understand substance abuse and the many unaddressed systemic factors that can influence it? Or is the entire recovery process just shame based (because that works so well /s) combined with some more corny trust exercises? Why is this incredibly serious topic relegated to the background as if it's unimportant?

Recovery is hard. It is emotional and exhausting. Withdrawal (depending on what you're coming off of) can sometimes mean excruciating, unimaginable pain and in some cases people literally die. It is not a funny "ha-ha I take drugs because I'm chaotic and wild" quirk to be adored or glorified and it definitely should not be presented as something that can be wrapped up in a month or two off-screen without any development whatsoever. That's just insulting.

When you approach a topic like substance abuse and recovery, I personally feel you need to take in all sides of it. All the missteps that come with it (two steps forward one step back - mistakes are expected and okay), the self-loathing, the guilt and shame, the joy, the sense of freedom, the loss, and the best part of all: the incredibly difficult but liberating journey that is rebuilding your life and learning to love yourself and your body again, once you've chosen to be free and to live life.

Mad props to anyone who has ever battled this disease. You are strong, you are worth it and you are valued. Lol I am so sorry for going off here but I so appreciate you calling out the lack of exploration on this topic in the show. I guess I didn't even realize how annoyed and upset it was making me feel (praying this is coherent...).

This was absolutely coherent don’t worry!! Im really glad to see other people talking about this. I myself have not struggled with drug addiction but I have struggled with other kinds and as someone that studies a bunch of medical junk, I’d say I’m decently knowledgeable.

I’m mainly going to focus on Angel for this since he’s the main character I write for, but I assure you other characters addictions are also handled in my rewrite.

During the actual canon show, we don’t see Angel actually abusing substances that often; there’s a few times, most notably in episode 4, but from the rest of the show onward we hardly see anything. Yes in episode 6 they mentioned relapsing, which, mind you, was done horribly, but I digress. They touch on relapsing; Angel relapses, and then… what..??? What happened from that? I don’t feel upset or second hand guilt of any kind from this scene because we haven’t seen Angel’s attempts to stay sobre and off drugs.

His name is fucking Angel Dust. You don’t, I dunno, think that’d entail a higher dependency on drugs? Why do you think he named himself that?

About his name before anything else, the show has so much potential later on to talk about Angel picking out his drag name and why he chose that specifically. So much potential to explore how he views drugs and himself. He sees them as an escape and something “fun” to take his mind off of his actual life. When you die in a fucking coma and wake up in hell as a spider you’re going to want an escape. You will want to ignore reality. I am fully convinced Angel picked his name once he started performing because thats what he needed at the time. He needs to be like that to survive in hell. Angel is an incredibly mentally ill, troubled, traumatised, and unstable person, and being surrounded by so much intense negative influence only amplifies his current problems. I don’t mean to drag Vox in here but in my last redesign post I mentioned how very mildly bad people can become even worse people in hell because of the environment and this is no different for Angel. He’s been surrounded by crime and drugs his entire life and unable to live comfortably because of his sexuality. He has very likely been struggling with substances since he was a teen. Possibly even younger. He is not going to suddenly get over his addiction because of something like this. It could pave the way to him looking into dealing with it, but things like this can take years. I don’t remember when my addiction started; I’ve been clean for 2 1/2 years now I think, but the amount of relapsing and anguish I experienced while working towards that isn’t something that can be done in a few days or months. I still struggle with feeling like I deserve to say I’m recovering.

I’m hoping they tactfully handle this as they should, but my hopes are low. It’s okay to show a character relapsing. It’s okay to show a character feeling guilty. What matters is that the struggle is there to signify they’re trying. For a character with a song called “Addict” you really don’t see much of it. Drug and alcohol addiction is not a silly thing to just twiddle your fingers with and be like “well I guess thats over!” It’s incredibly insensitive to do so.

Whenever I write about Angel’s struggles with addictions, I focus on how small they can feel until you realise what’s actually happening. Just me talking about my rewrite again, but to get my ideas out here: Angel smokes often. He smokes at the studio when he’s stressed, he smokes at the hotel when he’s stressed, he smokes at in alleyways when he’s bored, there’s almost no location he won’t, but sometimes he tries to smoke less. His lungs aren’t the same as humans and technically he has 2 pairs of lungs, but smoking causes him to cough. This is painful in general and especially painful for Angel since he has barbs going down the back of his throat. Imagine choking on sandpaper, kind of like that. It’s painful, he doesn’t like the sound, Fat Nuggets REALLY doesn’t like the sound, and it’s an overall inconvenience, so he tries to stop smoking as much. Periods like this usually go fine for him until the stress returns or he starts to feel the withdrawal. Withdrawal from any sort of addiction is terrible, and in Angel’s case, just from not smoking it worsens his mental state further. He becomes irritable and stressed and that stress leads to wanting to smoke again to calm down. He may resist a few times and those times should be praised, but he gives in eventually. One cigarette to calm down becomes two, then three, and before he can process himself getting carried away, the entire pack is gone. It’s things like this that make addiction horrible. It’s something that deeply scared me when I was struggling. When I was struggling I was still in the mindset of “I can stop when I want to” and then being so suddenly hit in the face with the realisation that I’m not longer in control of this is terrifying. I could not stop when I wanted to. There were even points where I didn’t want to stop. Even just getting the smallest glimpse of this in an incredibly serious manner with Angel Dust would surprise me. To think the bar is this low on a show that seemingly prides itself on tackling such sensitive topics like you said is appalling. Your show shouldn’t have to be told how to write itself.

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znerac · 8 months

Text

Come Closer

Sorry for my terrible exuses of titles LOL

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x ftm!Reader

No specific pronouns are used but if i make a part two the reader will be described as ftm

Part 2

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, No Y/N, Cheating (Readers Bf)

Words: 2.2k

Summary: after finding Kriz with another in bed, reader finds themselves in the arms of the general they've treated many times before.

Today so far was normal, patients were slow, and once you were off-shift you headed home. Of course, your apartment on coruscant wasn't the best, but you shared it happily with your boyfriend Kriz.

You found it odd how the door was unlocked, but brushed it off. You walk in with a happy 'im home!'. You begin to set your things on the counter, when an odd noise was heard. Of course, you thought nothing of it and called your lovers name. When you got no response, you got curious.

Walking over, your brows furrowed at the continuation of the noise, making your gut twist. Opening your guy's shared bedroom door, the pit in your gut deepened and your heart practically shattered.

The two in your bed jumped and your boyfriend started speaking, but you heard none of it. Walking out and shutting the door with tears welling up in your eyes.

You stood for a second in shock.

And then the tears started streaming.

You let out a choked sob and grabbed your bag, shuffling out just as your boyfriend came out of the bedroom.

Of course, you didn't have time to think, you were overwhelmed and disgusted. Rushing out of the building with a few held in cries.

Your mind was racing, and you didn't know where else to go but work, and so you did. You caught a cab back, and when you arrived you bumped into a few clones, apologizing profusely before you went back into your office.

It was pretty much the only place you could be alone. So you sat in your chair and held yourself, your mind going over the scene over and over. It plagued your mind, and it was too overwhelming, you nearly choked on your breath.

After about ten minutes, you heard a knock on your door. And you jumped, quickly wiping away your tears with a weak 'come in'.

The door opened, and you couldn't look up, staring down and grabbing mindlessly at a few papers, "can i help you?" you ask, thumb sliding over the documents.

"You bumped into one of my recruits, said you were upset. Is something wrong?"

You knew that voice, that voice was from a certain general who had a tendency to getting hurt. You looked up, surprised.

"General Kenobi? I- i uh it's nothing im fine, really" you lie between a smile. Obi-wan frowns, coming to sit down on the seat opposite of your desk. "You know very well i can sense that something is not right. Its better to talk about your feelings, you know. Why don't you tell me whats bothering you?" he says, asking again for you to talk. Your mouth wavers, opening and closing to speak. But you break out in a few more tears.

Obi-wan's eyebrows furrow, "Maybe i can help?" he offers, but you shake your head. "You.. Can't do anything. I just.. I" you pause to breathe. "I found Kriz.. With a girl.. When i went home" you say quietly. You watch as Obi-wan thinks, and it clicks. "Oh, I'm so sorry" he says, tone soft. You sniffle, shrugging. "Its.. Its fine. I'll get over it" you mumble, and he sits up. "But it's not fine, he broke your trust. Thats not just something you can forget." he explains, "i expect you probably don't feel like going back. I could offer you a stay in my quarters?" he offers, tilting his head to the side. You give a faint smile, "i.. I can't. I don't want to be a burden"

Obi-wans face contorts, "You're no Burden, Never" he says in an almost defensive tone. "Please, it would be be my pleasure. Besides, you deserve a break. Some peace" he excuses, standing up. "Come now, I'm not letting you be alone after such an event"

You smile faintly, appreciative of his caring demeanor. You stand up, grabbing your bag and slowly following him.

Obi-wan stays fairly quiet as you two walk, it feels tense. But somehow comforting. Although you don't really know the general all that much, you appreciate how caring he seemed to be.

Once you arrived at his quarters in the Jedi Temple, you step in a little nervously. But the clean and tidy surroundings make you just a little more at ease.

"What kind of tea do you like?" he asks, walking over to the set of counters and puts a kettle on. You follow, standing beside him. "I don't usually drink tea.. Just make anything you like and I'll drink it" you say, and Obi-wan looks over, "Ah.. Well.. I'll just make you one of my regulars. Unless you'd like something else?" he cocks a brow. You shake your head, "no, no its okay, I'll drink your uh, tea" you exuse with your hands up. He smiles, "Relax my friend, Take a seat. You could put on a holo if you'd like. Make yourself at home" he says, patting your shoulder and you nod.

You make it over to the little couch by the holo, taking in a shaky breath. Everything went by so quickly, and it felt a little unreal to even be here. You jump a little when you get a commcall on your wrist, but seeing the name your face scrunches and you quickly reject it. You end up taking off your link and setting it aside.

Obi-wan came back with two mugs, handing you one. "I sure do hope its alright, i just made it how i would usually for myself. But if you don't care for it theres always other options" he says, sitting next to you. You can't help but crack a weak smile, looking down at the drink in your palms. "Thank you"

He smiles over at you, and takes a sip from his mug. "Would you like to talk at all? Or would you prefer to just take your mind off of things?" he asks, tilting his head to the side and looking at you with those beautiful blues.

You think for a moment, looking at your transmitter before back at obi-wan. "Maybe later.. We can talk.. I just, want to relax for a little" you reply, and he gives you a nod. "Fair enough. Here, put a show on." he hands you the holopad, and you grab it. Choosing a random show you liked and throwing it up on the big screen.

You both sit quietly, until you start to talk about the show. Which, felt good. Obi-wan was a great listener. He looked over when you spoke, kept his attention on you, and replied when you asked him a question. It had been awhile since anyone actually gave you their full attention, and you were sure obi-wan could sense how thankful you were.

Eventually, you continued to drink your tea, actually finishing it too. "This was good, maybe your just great at making tea. I've never actually tasted one this good" you compliment, standing up. He furrows his brows, "well thank you, but, where are you going?" he asked, uncrossing his legs and sitting up. You pause, looking down at your mug. You thought he would want you to leave after the drink. "I don't know.. I kind of assumed you'd want me to leave after" you reply, and the other chuckles. "No such thing, I'm not sending you back there unless you choose to go. Please, Stay." he smiles, standing and taking your mug. "Here, I'll take care of this. Now why don't you go have a shower and refresh yourself, i have some clothes that could fit you." he offers.

You bite at your lip before sighing, "a shower does seem nice.." you hum, giving obi-wan a faint smile. He nods you to the refresher and you thank him before going, shedding your clothes almost instantly before hopping into the shower and relaxing against the hot water. You just let yourself stand there, soaking up all the warmth.

About five minutes into it, you hear a soft knock at the door followed with a "I'm just going to place these here, a Towel and something for you to wear" you hear obi-wan say. And you smile softly, thanking him before hearing him leave. You don't know how much longer you spend in there, but it just feels so nice you can't help but soak it up until the water starts to turn cold.

At that point, you get out and wrap yourself in the towel after drying your hair. You spend some time just standing there, going over the scenes once more. And then dry yourself off.

When you picked up the shirt obi-wan left you, you smiled a little. It was definitely his, or at least fit him. It was a plain white tee, and you slipped that on along with the gray sweats he gave you. It felt a little odd to be in another guys clothes, but you decided to savor the feeling. If your boyfriend could savor another person, you could let yourself at least wear these. You walked out, feeling a bit better and definitely more refreshed.

"Enjoy your shower?" you hear obi-wan ask, as he walks over to you from the little kitchen in the quarters. He handed you a plate with a neatly made wrap. "Oh, yeah it was.. Really nice" you say, taking the plate and thanking him for it. "Thats good to hear. Now how about you eat that, and then go take a rest. I'll be here, i just have some paperwork to do" he says, pointing to the plate. You cock a brow, "Rest? Like, sleep?" you ask. He nods. "I'm not taking your bed, obi-wan. I can rest fine on the couch"

"Nonesense. You can sleep in my bed, it's more comfortable I'd say. I'll take the couch, you need a good rest and I've had plenty." he smiles. You huff, thinking for a second. "You're not sleeping on the couch, this is your home, you can rest in the same best as me, we're both adults" you counter, and he raises a brow. "You're okay with that?" he asks, and you nod reassuringly. He gives you a final nod, "well then, please do get some rest. I still have to do some work" he says, giving your shoulder a small squeeze. "And if later when i come back, and you decide you don't want me to rest with you i fully understand" he says reassuringly before wandering off to his office.

You stand there for a second before going to sit, eating slowly and going over todays events again. It made you feel worse, but you couldn't help it. But what did help, was Obi-wan offering help and comfort. Which he seemed good at, and that made you feel a little better. Although, when you looked at your empty plate a few tears shed again. You get up to place the plate in the sink, and wander to obi-wans office. Gently pushing the door open. You watch with teary eyes as he turns his head and frowns. Then he stands, and faces you with open arms.

You don't hesitate for a second to jump into his arms and hug him. Feeling his arms wrap around you carefully, caressing your back to comfort you. You sob a couple times into his robes, leaving a small wet mark where your tears fell. But he says nothing, rubbing your back and letting you release those emotions. You spend a good couple minutes in his arms before pulling away, eyes red and puffy. And he smiles down at you, wiping the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. "Let’s go lay, i can sense that you're tired" he suggests, and you nod. Turning and letting him follow you to his bed, and you glance at him before crawling in under the blankets. He waits a second, putting a finger up and going to grab a few clothes of his, and heading to the refresher. He comes back in just a simple sweatshirt and loose pajama pants, and asks you again if you're okay with him laying with you. Of course, you say yes and scoot aside so he can get in.

Once he gets comfortable, you wait for a second, biting your inner cheek. "Can we-"

He nods and opens his arms. And you shuffle into his arms, up against his chest with your head tucked into his neck. It’s comforting, and warm. And you feel yourself relax against him as he rests his arms around you.

Obi-wan moves his arm and suddenly you feel his hand in your hair. And you just melt, humming and leaning your head up into it. Of course he continues, and it just feels amazing.

It had been ages since anyone touched your hair, and it just felt special. Especially with how gentle obi-wan had been treating you. It was like he knew what you needed.

"Obi-wan?" you spoke up gently. He hummed in reply. "Thank you, for everything." you say in a somewhat weak tone, and he holds you just a little tighter. "Of course, Dear" he says softly.

You think for a little, feeling a buildup of emotions in your chest.

He kisses the top of your head, holding you closer, "It's going to be alright my dear, now just rest, okay?" he speaks softly, and you just nod.

Sleep was surprisingly easy to find that night.

Thank you for reading! Reblogs are appreciated ❤️

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