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takemebackto-eden · 7 months

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EM ‘Hey Stranger’ • Chapter Seventeen - Matilda

Chapter summary: Nina‘a mom gets violent and Nina returns to Hawkins.

content warning: angst, parental alcoholism / abuse, violence, abuse, gaslighting, sad themes, child abandonment / neglect, PTSD, overall very sad.

author's note: this was very cathartic for me to write so please go easy on me! my inbox is open to anyone who struggles with these themes and I encourage you to get help where you can. all my love x

'You can let it go,

You can throw a party full of everyone you know,

And not invite your family ‘cause they never showed you love,

You don’t have to be sorry for leaving and growing up.’

Matilda - Harry Styles

Tuesday / 3pm / California.

Nina: [calling up the stairs] “I’m home!” [when she hears no response, she calls up the stairs again, to no response.] “I’ve got your prescription!” [She hears a smash coming from the kitchen, and walks to the kitchen to find her Mom. She is holding a bottle of Vodka, half empty, the glass smashed on the floor. Nina’s heart feels heavy with disappointment] “Oh.”

Nina’s Mom: “I’m just having one, just to help me sleep.”

Nina: [quietly, not wanting to rile her] “It’s 3 in the afternoon.”

Nina’s Mom: “So what? I’m in pain, and you took too long getting my prescription.”

Nina: “I was as fast as I could. The bus took a while.”

Nina’s Mom: “Whatever.” [She hobbles to the couch in the next room and sits down, ignoring the broken glass on the floor, drinking from the bottle.]

Nina sighs and sets the prescription down on the kitchen bench, grabbing a dustpan to clean up the broken glass. The motion feels all too familiar to her, but she pushes it out of her mind.

Nina: (cautiously) “Can I get you anything? Do you need help upstairs?”

Nina’s Mom: (dismissive) “Stop fussing, I’m fine.”

Nina creeps up the stairs, trying not to get the attention from her Mom, closing the bedroom door shut behind her. She sighs a shaky breath and pulls out her suitcase, looking around the room for things she forgot to pack the first time she left.

Nina’s Mom: “Why are you packing all your stuff away?”

Nina: [turning around, worriedly] “You shouldn’t be going up and down the stairs on your foot.”

Nina’s Mom: [repeating] “Why are you packing all your stuff away?”

Nina: [Not turning around, folding some clothes into a suitcase] “Just making a start on packing some stuff.”

Nina’s Mom: “Why are you doing that?”

Nina: (wary) “I’m going back to Hawkins when you’re better, I told you this on the phone.”

Nina’s Mom: “No you didn’t.”

Nina: [Hands shaking, not wanting to turn to face her, concentrating on folding her clothes] “I did, Mom. When we spoke on the phone, when you were in hospital.”

Nina’s Mom: (accusingly) “So you’re really going to leave me here with a broken leg to fend for myself?”

Nina: (torn) “I said I’d wait until you could mobilise and then I’d go. And clearly you’re feeling better, so...”

Nina’s Mom: “And where are you planning on going? Back to Hawkins?”

Nina: (small) “Yes.”

Nina’s Mom: (snide) “Great, I’m sure Sheryl loves that, she’ll think I’m not taking care of you, that I’m a shit mom.”

Nina: [Before she can stop herself, immediately regretting it] “You’re not taking care of me.”

Nina’s Mom: (accusingly) “Excuse me? What did you say?”

Nina: [closing her eyes, cursing herself] “Nothing, I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry.”

Nina’s Mom: (angry, venomous) “Typical Nina expects the world to revolve around her, perfect little Nina can’t accept flaws in anyone. Let me tell you something darling, you aren’t so perfect yourself.”

Nina: [tearing up] “ I know, I’m sorry, please stop, I said I’m sorry.”

Nina’s Mom: “Always think about yourself and nobody else. I’m here with a broken leg and you can’t wait to get away fast enough.”

Nina: [exploding] “I left last time because you pushed me down the stairs!”

Nina’s Mom: [taken aback] “You tripped, stop being dramatic.”

Nina: [furious, hot tears streaming down her face, she wipes at them angrily] “The neighbours rang the police on you! I had to go to the hospital!”

Nina’s Mom: “You’re being ridiculous.”

Nina: “You know what’s ridiculous? Me coming back here, actually hoping that you’d changed, that maybe this time you’d learn your lesson, but it’s clear that’s never going to happen.” [laughing sadistically] “I can’t do this anymore Mom, I’m done waiting for things to change, I’ve got my own life now in Hawkins and I don’t need this bullshit.”

Nina’s Mom: “If you walk out that door, you’re never coming back here again.”

Nina: [laughing sadly] “Fine Mom, fine. I’ll go.”

Nina quickly shoves what belongings she can see in her suitcase. Nina’s Mom watches her, blinking, before coming over to the suitcase and emptying it upside down.

Nina: [frustrated] “What are you doing?! Stop!”

Nina’s Mom: “You’re not leaving me, you can’t leave me.” [grabbing Nina hard by the arm]

Nina: [wincing] “Mom, you’re hurting me, stop!”

Nina’s Mom: “You can’t go, I won’t let you.” [she pushes Nina into the bedroom wall]

Nina: [trying to push her off] “Mom, please, stop!”

Nina’s Mom: [wrapping her hands around Nina’s throat] “Such an ungrateful child, what did I do wrong to have a child like you?”

Nina: [choking, eyes watering] “Stop!”

Nina’s Mom: [tightening her grip] “I’ve had enough of you too, did you ever think of that? I’m sick of you moping around, feeling sorry for yourself.”

Nina: [pained, hands clawing at her mom’s around her neck] “Mommy, please!”

Nina’s Mom: “Pack your shit and go.” [she finally releases Nina from her grip]

Nina falls to the ground, clutching her throat, coughing and gasping. When she gets her breath back, she leans against the bedroom wall, breathless, in shock. The tears flow down her face but she is emotionless, hands shaking. Memories come flooding back to her: being pushed down the stairs, the flashing lights of the ambulance siren, the ache in her spine, the shatter of her favourite vinyl as it collided with the wall, the warm blood spilling down her neck, the unfazed look in her mother’s eyes. Nina’s vision blurs, the room spins and her head pounds as years of repressed memories haunt her, overwhelming her, choking her.

She sits there for what feels like hours, staring blankly at the bare walls of her bedroom. She numbly rises to her wobbly feet, picks up her suitcase and carefully repacks it. Time seems to go in slow motion. She sits on the edge of the bed, looking at the wall.

Nina drags her suitcase down the stairs. She looks back up the stairs, contemplating, before going up the stairs and taking her surfboard. She struggles out the front door; suitcase and surfboard under her arm and looks at her Mom one last time, hoping, praying that her Mom would change her mind, would ask her not to leave; but she doesn’t turn around from her position on the sofa. Nina mumbles a ‘Goodbye’ and Nina’s mom turns the volume up on the television.

Nina brings out her keys from her bag and takes her house key off the chain, leaving it on the table by the door. Looking around one last time, she leaves her childhood home, not looking back.

Nina walks to the bottom of her driveway.

‘I have everywhere and nowhere to go’, She thinks.

She gulps down her tears and walks down the street. She remembers the pathway where she played hopscotch with her neighbours as a child, the gnarled tree branch she tripped over and cut her knee which her Mom tended to, the lamp post she had her first kiss against. She blinks and pushes forward, leaving the street.

She struggles on the bus, bumbling with full hands and heavy bags, dishing out what change she had to the driver.

As she sits on the bus to the village centre, she watches the shops as she drives past them: remembering her first date in the American diner, the first record she bought with her own money at the vinyl store, the arcade Robin and Nina spent all summer in when she visited. She sits motionless on the bus, blinking goodbye to the town she grew up in.

A kind gentleman helps her off the bus with her heavy suitcase and she smiles politely and says ‘thank you’. Nina walks along the beachfront, the wheels of her suitcase clacking against the wooden pier, as she enters the beach shop. The shop is selling buckets and spades, sunglasses, and smells of coconut sun cream.

Nina: (quietly) “Hi Jessie.”

Jessie: “Nina! How’ve you been?” [oblivious to the redness of her eyes, the makeup streaks down her face] “It’s been a while, what have you been up to? Why does your voice sound like that?”

Nina: (awkwardly) “Not a lot. Got a sore throat. Listen, I’m moving-”

Jessie: (interrupting) “You’re moving?”

Nina: (coughing) “Well, technically I already left, but came back. Anyway, I’m wanting to sell this…” [gesturing to her surfboard] “How much would you give me for it?”

Jessie: (taken aback) “You’re selling your surfboard? But you love this thing!”

Nina: (emotionless) “No need for it anymore. How much?”

Jessie: (reminiscing) “Remember when we all went to that beach at Santa Monica and you fell into that rockpool? And the lifeguard had to rescue you? That was so funny!”

Nina: (deadpan) “Hilarious. How much-”

Jessie: (interrupting again) “How’s Carly doing? I haven’t seen her in ages!”

Nina: (annoyed) “She’s fine, I saw her on Saturday. We don’t get to see each other much anymore, but we keep in touch. Listen, I really need to sell this.”

Jessie: “I can buy it off you for $250.”

Nina: (exasperated) “But it’s worth nearly triple that.”

Jessie: (smirking) “I’ll add on $50 since I’m feeling super generous, wouldn’t want to piss off my first ever girlfriend now, would I?”

Nina: [huffing in annoyance, wanting the conversation over with] “Fine.” [taking the cash into her purse, smiling politely at Jessie] “Thank you.”

She watches as Jessie picks up the board and carries it away. She turns on her heels and walks towards the door, suitcase in hand.

Jessie: “See you soon Nina, don’t be a stranger!”

Nina: (to herself) “Not likely.”

Nina sits on a bench for a while, waiting for a coach to the airport, watching the world go by. The bus arrives at 6pm, and gets to the airport at 8pm. When she’s sitting comfortably on the bus she puts her headphones over her head and tries to listen to music, attempting to lull herself to sleep on the long coach journey. Her whole body is tense and alert. Unable to relax, she stares at the pattern on the back of the coach seat in front of her, eyes heavy but mind reeling. She slips the headphones off her head and around her neck and whimpers, forgetting about the soreness of her neck. It now hurts to swallow.

Nina walks up to the woman behind the counter at the airport. She attempts to speak, but no voice comes out. After clearing her throat, she tries again:

Nina: (croaky) “Excuse me, when is your next flight to Indiana?”

Woman 1: [not looking up from her computer] “The next flight to Indiana is tomorrow at 8pm, the fare is $400.”

Nina: [looking at her purse, biting her lip] “Can I pay $300 in cash and $100 on card please?”

Woman 1: (politely, clearly bored) “Of course.” [she looks up at Nina and sees her appearance; tear-stained cheeks, red eyes, red fingerprints on her throat] “Are you okay, doll?”

Nina: (smiling sadly) “I’m okay thank you.” (trying not to cry, overwhelmed) “Just want to go home.”

Woman 1: (unsure) “Do you need any help? Is there a parent here with you?”

Nina: [tears threatening to bubble over] “No, just me. Is American Express okay?”

The woman smiles politely, eyes watching Nina warily, taking her passport and card. Nina checks in her luggage, smiles politely and says ‘thank you’ and sits in the airport café.

There Nina waits the gruelling 24 hours until her flight back to Hawkins. Occasionally she slumps in her seat, exhaustion hitting her hard, but she picks herself up and forces another cheap coffee down her sore throat. The burn of the coffee reminds her of where she is, what’s happened, bringing her back to reality; stopping her from slipping away like a ghost.

Nina looks at the world wide clock on the airport wall. Midnight California time, 3AM in Indiana. Her heart sinks remembering she forgot to ring Eddie. She contemplates ringing Robin but decides to wait until it’s morning in Hawkins.

The tears start to flow again as she craves being in Eddie’s safe arms, in Robin’s comforting presence, anywhere but here.

Nina becomes aware of the concerned looks of strangers she is receiving, and runs to the airport bathroom. She locks herself in a bathroom stall, wiping her tears angrily. She breathes deeply, trying to calm herself, before walking out the stall to the bathroom sink. She splashes cold water on her face and wipes the smudged mascara from under her eyes. Her face is puffy and red, and her neck is scalded with the red handprints of her mother.

She quickly walks to the airport gift shop, trying to find something to cover her neck. She finds a scarf from the shop, unreasonably priced, but it’s the only thing she can find to cover her marks. She reluctantly parts with her money and covers her neck, ignoring the concerned look from the cashier. She picks up some fortune cookies for Wayne too.

Just six hours to go, then you can call Robin.

Maybe I should call Eddie too, to let him know I’m okay.

Just five hours to go, then you can call Robin and Eddie.

But I’ll cry if I hear Eddie’s voice,

Just four hours to go, then you can call Robin.

But you were supposed to call Eddie tonight, he'll be worried about you, you should call him,

Just three hours to go, then you can call Robin and Eddie.

Eddie doesn’t need to deal with your bullshit, it’s bad enough you’ve roped Robin into this.

Just two hours to go, then you can call… someone? Robin, call Robin.

Eddie is your boyfriend, he’s expecting your call.

Just one hour to go, then you can call Robin and Eddie.

Heads or Tales to ring Eddie?

Heads, ring Eddie, Tales, don’t ring Eddie.

Heads, ring Eddie.

Just half an hour to go, then you can call Robin and Eddie.

Nina dials Eddie’s number slowly, clutching the piece of paper with his number on tightly in her hand.

Eddie: “Hello?” [Nina goes to speak but her voice cracks] “Hello? Is there somebody there?” [all that comes out of Nina’s mouth is a squeak] “Hello?”

Wayne: [In the background of the phone call] “Is that her? Did she ring?”

Eddie: [to Wayne in the background] “No, it’s not her.” [Nina’s heart breaks, wanting to speak, but can’t find the courage] “Must be a wrong number.” [to Nina on the phone] “Call back if you need anything, stranger.” [Eddie puts the phone down]

Tears roll down Nina’s cheeks. You’re a coward, she thought.

Nina dials Robin’s number using the last of her change.

Nina: [voice croaky] “Robin, it’s Nina…”

Chapter Eighteen - When I Was Young

A/N: any feedback would be appreciated and any comments are welcomed!

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unrequitedloveletter · 1 year

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Happy Holidays!!!

Prepare for me to send you a bunch of asks for your holiday event!

Can I get a Home for the Holidays with Kaz? I wanna see what you would come up with for testing/trouble-shooting Christmas Lights with him!

My mom and I just had to go one by one changing a single bulb down a strand of Christmas Lights trying to figure out which socket was shorting out the whole strand 😅

Christmas Lights- Kaz Brekker x gn! reader

Okay, this should've been done a bit earlier in the month but I was busy with school so I kind of neglected my inbox a bit. I'm sorry it took me so long to see this, but thank you for sending in all the holiday event asks that you have! I'm looking forward to writing out the rest of the requests you sent in, and the hope is that I’ll get most of those done this weekend!

I went ahead and did this as headcanons, which I hope you’re okay with!!

As far as requests go generally speaking, the hope is to have a couple of them coming out tomorrow, Friday, and this weekend! I can’t guarantee anything, but I’ve been looking through and deciding which requests to do, so I’m holding out hope!

Fic type- this is fluffy!

Warnings- none

The Christmas tree had been something that you all collectively agreed on. Festivity was not often found in Ketterdam, and you and Kaz both agreed that it could brighten up a few spirits as the weather got colder.

It’d gone up in the Slat, and the Christmas lights that you and Nina had found in the basement seemed to be working pretty decently.

That was, of course, until one of the fuses in the string of lights blew, and a couple of the bulbs dimmed along with it and you noticed several of the bulbs had burnt out

As a result, you were testing fuses that Kaz had bought while out in the shops, the both of you waiting for Inej and Wylan to come back with replacement bulbs as Nina and Jesper went through the entire strand to see if any of the other bulbs were burnt out.

After the fourth fuse in a box of ten, you were beginning to lose hope. Christmas trees could be decorated without lights. There was always popcorn garland and strands of red ribbon that could be put up in it’s place.

But then, Kaz dropped the fifth fuse into the palm of your hand, and when you tested it, it worked.

You and Kaz met one anothers gazes, a victorious look glinting in Kaz’s eyes where you grinned.

Inej and Wylan came back with replacement bulbs and, as Nina and Jesper went with them to grab food, you and Kaz replaced the burnt out ones, talking about how you looked forward to the quiet christmas that you would spend together as you always did, Kaz sitting at his desk and planning out a heist where you sat on the windowsil, reading and drinking tea from your favorite mug.

Once that was said and done, Nina, Inej, Wylan and Jesper returned with food, and you picked a booth to sit and eat in.

Even though the holiday season had just begun, you could’ve said it’d started off well.

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #six of crows #shadow and bone netflix

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peachii-pao · 3 years

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hi i just wanted to drop in to tell you that your art is amazing!! i love your artstyle, its so sweet and round and soft and looking at just fills my heart with warm fuzzies :]]]

keep up the good work!! :D

AAAAA thank you so much!! you’re so sweet!! i try my best to draw things that make me happy and i’m just delighted that you feel happy seeing it!!

｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

#i’m so sorry i took so long to reply #i neglected my tumblr notifs me inbox for so long oh nooooo #your message made me really happy though thank you!!#lovely messages #inbox

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violetlilysunshine · 3 years

Text

Plenty of Times

Boyfriend Chris Evans x Female Reader

Requested - Anon: Hey! Is it all right to request for Chris Evans where reader comes in after a girls night and just dotes on him and loves on him and its sickeningly fluffy and he’s like what’s gotten into you? and reader breaks down because one of her friends vented that her husband is abusive and neglectful and she sees how important it is to have a good man in her life 🤍

WC: 1,619

Warnings: Pet names [bubba, babe, honey], talk of a bad relationship [neglectful husband - but not about Chris/reader], mention of phone sex [but it doesn’t happen here]

A/N: I’m so so so so sorry this took so long, I’m working on clearing out my inbox though!

IF YOUR NAME IS SCRATCHED OUT I CAN’T TAG YOU - I’VE STARTED REMOVING PEOPLE, SO IF IT’S NOT WORKING AND YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED SHOOT ME A MESSAGE AND WE’LL FIGURE IT OUT

MASTERLIST - Join my TAGLIST

You haven't gone out with your friends in so long. You’re all busy with your own stuff - work and relationships, some with kids to care for. So, when the opportunity arises, Chris encourages you to take advantage of it.

The night was pretty simple, dinner, a couple of glasses of wine, and a few shared desserts before everyone was ready to head home. Most of your friends were not night owls like you by any standard, so when dinner wrapped up early, it was no surprise. At least that meant you got to go home to your man.

“Bubba?” you called as you walked through the front door.

“In here,” he answered.

You followed his voice to the living room, finding him lounging on the chaise sofa, Dodger soundly asleep next to him. Some movie played on the screen; you hadn’t paid attention to it long enough to know what it was.

You headed to the connected kitchen, dropping your keys and purse on the island, hanging your jacket on the back of one of the barstools, and slipping out of your boots before hurrying back to Chris.

He paused the movie when he heard you approach him from behind. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, your hands splayed across his chest, as you pressed a long kiss to his temple.

He hummed at the contact, placing one hand over the top of both of yours, before turning his neck to meet your lips with his.

The kiss was sweet and simple, you could feel him smile against your lips as you lingered longer and longer into it.

He chuckled when you finally pulled away, a big smile etched across his face and a glimmer in his eyes.

You unraveled from his neck and stepped around the sofa. Dodger finally perked up when he heard you walking and you greeted him of course.

“Hey, bub,” you whispered, scratching Dodger’s head for a second before turning to Chris, “can we cuddle?” you asked quietly.

“Sure, babe, we can always cuddle,” he answered with a small smile, opening the blanket for you.

You slipped under, resting between his legs with your back on his chest. He wrapped the blanket and his arms around you, splaying his palms over your upper chest and rubbing gently, just as you had done to him. You ran your nails over his arm as light as a feather with one hand, the other rested on top of his clasped hands, tangling your fingers with one set of his as best you could in this position.

You tugged on his hand, pulling his arm further over your shoulder so you could place kisses on his bicep.

“How was girl’s night?” he asked, placing a light kiss to the top of your head.

“Fine,” you whispered, squeezing his hands for a second, “was nice to see everyone. They all seemed to need a good vent,” you ended with a breathy chuckle.

You felt his laugh rumble through your body, “don’t they always?” he asked, another kiss being placed on top of your head as he looped his legs around yours.

“Seems like,” you giggled, stroking his calf with your foot.

“Well I hope it was nice either way,” he said, “I’m glad you got to see them.”

“Mm, yeah, me too,” you answered quietly.

He slipped one hand from your grasp to grab the remote, causing a whine to leave your lips, disappearing into his skin as you had your lips placed on his bicep again.

He chuckled at the noise, “want me to start it over?” he nodded, making reference to the movie.

“No, it’s okay,” you whisper, pressing another lingering kiss to his arm.

“You sure? I’m not that far into it...”

“I’m sure, I won’t really be paying attention anyway.”

“Why’s that?” he asked, you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Can’t focus with you wrapped around me,” you giggled.

“Mm, yeah, sorry not sorry,” he laughed, playing the movie again.

You giggled, bringing his hand up to your lips to give it a kiss.

He gave his other hand back to you and you entwined your fingers with it as well, giving both of his hands small squeezes every once in a while.

You placed random kisses on his arms, pulling his hands up every now and again to press kisses to them as well. You didn’t want to do it too often, so you wouldn’t annoy him, but you couldn’t help but give him a few.

You tilted your head to look up at him, his eyes focused on the movie before he looked down at you.

“What’s up?” he asked, his voice sounding a little tired.

“Nothing,” you whispered, passing him a small smile.

“You’re lying,” he said, placing a kiss on your forehead, “what’s on your mind?”

You sighed deeply, “have I told you how much I love you?”

He reached over and paused the movie, quickly tangling his hand with yours again: “all the time,” he smiled.

“And how great you are?”

“Plenty of times,” he chuckled.

“And how thankful I am for you?”

“More than once,” he answered, a sense of questioning coming into his voice.

“And how kind and good you are to me?”

“Never in those words, but you deserve it more than anything,” he said, “where’s this coming from?”

“Jenn was really upset tonight,” you started.

“And that has to do with me, how?”

“She was talking about how rough her marriage is. And I know everyone says the first year is the hardest, but he doesn’t prioritize her, and never really has, and if I’m being honest I always thought she could do better; and she feels so disconnected from him and he’s so distant and she’s just not happy,” you rambled, tears pricking at your eyes, “and of course the whole time she was talking I felt so bad for her, but I couldn’t help thinking that I’m so lucky to have a guy like you and that made me feel even worse. Ya know? Like guilty because I was sitting there thinking ‘well at least I’m not in her shoes,’ and, god, you’re so good to me and I appreciate and love you so much. Don’t feel like I tell you that enough, but, you’re the best,” you finished, taking a deep breath.

“Honey,” Chris soothed, “you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, first off. It’s not your fault he treats her like crap, and all you can do is support her with whatever she chooses to do about it. She can leave, or they could go to therapy, or she might just ignore it all together, but the only thing you can and should do is listen to her vent and offer support, or sometimes advice if she asks for it.”

You smile, “I know, but it’s just a shitty situation. Like I wish she wasn’t going through it, because she’s great, and I wish he was as good to her as you are to me.”

“Well no one’s as good as me,” Chris joked, trying to lift your spirits.

You laughed lightly in response, turning over a little bit and scooting up so you could lay face to face with him.

“Second,” he continued, “I’m only giving you what you deserve. Wish I could do a lot more sometimes, if I’m honest,” he said almost under his breath as he wrapped his arms around your back.

“Chris, you do more than enough! I should be doing more for you!”

“Babe, you give me everything I could ever want,” he smiles, “you’re amazing. Wish I could do more, like I wish I wasn’t away from you so much. Don’t like leaving you, ever.”

“You’re the best,” you lean forward, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth, “you do plenty for me even when you’re away.”

“Not nearly enough,” he says, “gotta come up with something new for us.”

“We’ve done plenty of new things while you’re away.”

“Yeah? You think?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Hey, without you, I never would’ve tried phone sex,” you giggle, “love trying new things as long as it’s with you. Especially that thing...”

He lets out a breathy laugh at that, “I love you too,” he says, referring back to your ramble but also your willingness to try anything for and with him.

You giggle, this time pecking his lips, “I don’t deserve you,” you whisper against his mouth.

“No, you don’t,” he says shortly.

You pull away from him, not expecting that to come out of his mouth.

“You deserve better,” he smiles, a glimmer in his eye again.

“You’re so corny!” you laugh loudly, causing Dodger to grumble next to Chris.

“Sorry, bub,” you laugh at Dodge.

“Let’s go to bed, yeah?” Chris suggests.

“What about the movie?” you ask, tipping your head towards the TV.

“Eh, won’t be able to pay attention now anyway, and I’ve lost the flow,” he shrugs.

“Sorry to interrupt,” you whisper, stroking a few fingers across his cheekbone.

“‘S alright,” he whispers, “like you better anyway.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, eyelids heavy as they start to flutter closed for a kiss.

Chris closes the distance between the two of you, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, “I love you,” he whispers into your mouth.

“I love you too,” you whisper back.

Your lips seal in a gentle kiss, and he brings a hand up to rest on your cheek before pulling back: “you can always make it up to me anyway,” he says, a smile giving away his attempt at being serious.

You laugh at him, “alright, bubba, let’s get you to bed.”

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#chris evans #chris evans fluff #chris evans x reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x fem reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans oneshot #chris evans fanfiction #Chris Evans fanfic #cevans fluff #cevans #cevans x reader #cevans x female reader #violetlilysunshine #violetwrites

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havethetimeofyourstyles · 3 years

Text

in which you and harry meet again after six months.

a/n: hiiii! this is for @theharriediaries fic challenge! the photo used is the one on the left of the banner, and the dialogue i chose was ‘Is this seat taken?’ ‘By you, I hope.’ & ‘I’m sorry it took us this long.’ thank you for creating this challenge, soph!

thank you @sunflowers-styles for beta reading this for me, mwah! <3

WORD COUNT: 12k of dad!harry with slight angst and fluff (pls appreciate the dilfrry dialogues in this lmao)

COME INTO MY INBOX AND LETS TALK ABOUT ‘THE TRAIN RIDE BACK TO US’ I’d love to know your thoughts!

pls rb to share! <3

The gold bell chimed quite loudly, informing the baristas that someone had entered their shop. The aroma of fresh ground coffee beans immediately filled your senses once you pushed open the sage green door as the smell feeling of nostalgia and comforted you.

Everything looked the same in the coffee shop. The oak wood floor never changed with coffee stains in certain areas that didn’t quite seem to come off all the way, no matter how hard the employees scrubbed—but it gave the shop character, in your opinion. Different colored potted plants filled the shop in every corner and on the clean white windowsill, making the place look lively. Crisp oxygen mixed with Columbian coffee beans flowed around the shop, making customers want to come back to a comfortable environment. Black and white bistro tables sat within the café, with silver metal bases, holding the circular table tops up as they alternated with colors along the built-in brown bench against the light-gray colored wall; with matching black and white metal chairs that practically screeched against the oak wood floors when someone was trying to scoot in or out of the table.

The entire shop was the exact same from what you remembered it to be six months ago. The only difference was that when you sat on the wooden bench, specifically at the black table in the corner that was right next to the window, the person who was supposed to be in front of you wouldn’t be there; and for that, your heart dropped a little.

Trying not to think too much about your change of mood, you ordered your usual—an iced mocha latte with a pump of sweet vanilla syrup—before you paid and turned around to see which tables were available. The usual corner table was staring right at you, practically mocking you, and you wished that the table was occupied, but then you would’ve felt wrong sitting at a different table when yours was clearly open.

You took your seat on the bench, and almost immediately, you started shaking your leg underneath the table. Your seat felt hot, as if the wood was catching fire underneath you, burning your legs and making you antsy.

Luckily, the shop wasn’t crowded so it took the baristas less than six minutes to make your drink and to call out your name from behind the counter. Quickly, standing up from the burning hot seat, you made your way to the counter, thanking Mel for the drink. Since coming here, you had become quite a constant in the cute Portland coffee shop. Mel was one of the employees that had worked at the shop the longest, so she made everyone’s drinks because she knew the menu the best. So, you caught up with her a bit, and inevitably, she asked where you had been.

“You didn’t find a better coffee shop did you?” She teased, making you chuckle.

“No, I’ve just been, uh, too busy to come around. But I promise, your drinks and shop are still the best,” you said truthfully, to which she beamed. To this day, you hadn’t found a superior coffee shop than ‘Coava’ because the others just didn’t compare—they didn’t make you feel the same way you did with this one. “But thanks for the coffee.” You gave her one last smile before you turned around to make your way back to your table.

And then the bell chimed.

It was as if the sun was peeking out through the clouds; the sun beams strongly pointed down onto the wet pavement after a night of rain, leaving the air with its pleasant smell of petrichor. He was the light that seeped through the curtains, and you knew it was going to be a lovely day.

“Harry…” you stopped in your tracks, careful not to spill the contents of your coffee cup. Your heart skipped several beats once he flashed you his gorgeous smile that you were still hopelessly in love with.

“Hi, Y/N.” Harry mindlessly played with the buttons of his coat as he mentally tried to situate the nerves in his head and stomach. His breath felt like it was stuck in his throat, making his voice slightly trail off with a crack to the tone.

It felt like the two of you were the only ones in the coffee shop—minus the locals who were sitting at the tables, minding their own business, or wondering what the fuck they were doing standing in the middle of the shop—completely and fully captured by the other’s stare and presence.

The loud screeching noise of steam took you out of your dazy trance as you cleared your throat. Harry looked down at his feet before looking up at you through his lashes, shyly intertwining his hands behind his back.

“Uh, would you like to join me?”

Harry raised his brows at your proposal, pursing his lips to contain his giddy excitement. “S-Sure.” You took a deep breath before you started to walk towards the table in the corner—one he was also very familiar with. “This seat...Is this seat taken?” He asked politely but, almost instantly, mentally cursed himself because you wouldn’t have invited him if you were with someone.

You didn’t catch his slip up, instead, you smiled as your face grew warm. “By you, I hope.” Harry blushed, taking a seat on the black metal chair across from you.

“So, how’ve you been? It’s been a while since I last saw you,” you mentioned.

It’d been six months since the last time you saw and sat in front of Harry—a very long six months. The conversation six months ago wasn’t the most happiest of memories because that conversation brought in the heartache and heartbreak; the chat had included the mutual separation of your relationship that involved tears, chest pain, and as always, the smell of Colombian coffee that surrounded your afflictive conversation, hoping it would calm the tension between you two.

“Yeah, it has been a while, but I’m doing okay. How are you?”

“I’m good.” There was a bit of awkwardness swirling in the air, and you absolutely despised it—you wanted it to leave the shop and never return. You had always imagined what it would be like bumping into Harry again, more importantly, what you would say to him. And despite all those moments daydreaming of finding the right words, you were completely stuck, and you fully blamed it on the awkward tension. “Can we not be…y’know, awkward? That’s not us,” you simply said.

Harry let out a sigh of relief, adding a breathy laugh. “Yes, yes, of course. You’re right, that isn’t us at all.” Mel brought him an iced black coffee since it was his usual, and she saw that he didn’t get the chance to order because he was immediately occupied by the sight of you. He softly thanked her with a smile, only taking his attention off of you for a split second before his eyes were right back on you; he didn’t know what this conversation would lead to, nor did he want to get his hopes up, so that meant spending every moment with his complete attention and eyes averted to you. “I miss you…” he said.

There was a sense of relief as you exhaled deeply, glad that he wasn’t the only one who was missing the other. His words had brought a flutter of butterflies to your stomach, soaring as they pleased while your face felt warm.

You and Harry had been together for a year and a half before calling it quits. For most of the relationship, it was happiness and bliss—occasional fights, but they weren’t frequent—towards the last few months however, things were getting a bit stressful. You remembered the days like it was yesterday as the vivid memory crept inside of your head...

It was nearing nine in the evening and the house was quiet. The silence was louder than the ongoing noise inside your head that was constantly yelling at you, making your head ache from the incessant thoughts. It was safe to say that you weren’t happy, and that even Harry wasn’t happy either. But you had only gotten a glimpse of him during the evening, so you were simply assuming that he wasn’t content—but it was a very logical assumption since every time he looked at you, it seemed like he was becoming more stressed out by the minute; as if he didn’t already have a lot on his plate during the day, and by night, he would still have to deal with whatever argument and fight either of you would pick for no apparent reason.

It started with petty little arguments, getting annoyed and frustrated at the other because of burnt toast or something as small as running out of detergent for the laundry. But fighting over nothing had turned into completely confessing that you weren’t happy anymore, and that the exhaustion had gotten to you.

“I-I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Harry,” you said in between your sobs that you tried to contain. “All we’re doing is hurting each other—we’re not even happy together anymore!”

It felt like his heart was exploding, but it was the truth. “Darling…”

“You can’t lie and tell me that we’re happy together because it’s obvious that we’re not.” You wiped the tears from your face, leaving your skin damp from the moisture.

Harry sighed deeply, knowing he couldn’t argue anymore. He felt defeated and upset with himself; it was like he was doing well in everything else or at least trying, and he couldn’t even do his part in being a good boyfriend to you. He knew part of the reason why both of you weren’t happy was because of the neglectance, and both of you were too exhausted to even communicate that feeling. You two were both independent entrepreneurs—always knowing when to close business and how to make a well deserved investment or sale with others who were trying to buy whatever stock or product. But when it came down to each other, to Y/N and Harry, it seemed like the individuals that were trying to please and charm others had dissipated, leaving no room or patience for each other.

“We’re both busy, Harry, I get that. And maybe it’s best if we call it quits until everything settles down—until we both know what we want—”

“I want you,” he interrupted.

You softly huffed, looking down at your lap as you slightly nodded before you looked up at him again. He had tears streaming down his face and more forming in his eyes; you loved that he wasn’t embarrassed or afraid to show his true emotions—he was being vulnerable every time he let his guard down, and for that, you would appreciate him forever.

Muffled, static cracks followed by quiet little groans were heard from the baby monitor on the coffee table. Harry glanced at it before looking back at you, knowing he had to take care of his number one priority, and who were you to stop him? So, you nodded, tilting your head towards the room, and he sadly smiled before heading towards the nursery.

You walked over to the kitchen counter, grabbed a pen and paper, and wrote ‘Meet me at Coava tomorrow. Usual time.’ before you placed it on the coffee table beside the monitor. As you were leaving, you heard soft humming coming from the baby monitor, and your heart squeezed, frowning as this was most likely going to be the last time you were going to be in this house. Taking one look around, you took in all of the memories that you made in the building that made you feel safe and warm before you stepped out, immediately welcomed by the cool temperatures of the evening.

The next afternoon when you walked into Coava, Harry was already sitting at the usual table you two sat at. His head was down, mindlessly wiping down the condensation that formed outside of his glass. You took a seat in front of him without saying a word, making him look up. He had dark circles around eyes as he hadn’t gotten much sleep.

“Hi,” you whispered. There was your usual cup of iced coffee placed in front of you. “Thank you for the coffee.”

He nodded and smiled softly, despite his current mood. “Hello.”

You took a deep breath. “So…where do we go from here?”

Harry sadly looked at you with desperation in his eyes that spoke, no, begged you to tell him to stay, to tell him that you two could and would work this out. But it seemed like you hadn’t received that specific message from his green and sorrowful eyes.

“You were right…We haven’t been able to make time for one another. So, we’ll just…take some time apart.” His heart and voice cracked at the end of his sentence, finding it hard to even form a sentence that didn’t absolutely break him. You nodded, agreeing, but it didn’t hurt any less; you knew this would be best for the two of you because both of you had to focus on yourselves, especially when Harry had his priorities, such as his family, which you weren’t going to make him change whatsoever. “Okay…so, we’re over.” He hadn’t said it as a question but rather a way to see that realization.

You reached across the table, placing your hand on his, and you were lucky that he didn’t pull away. “Harry, this doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. I…will always love you.”

“And I’ll always love you too,” he said honestly.

Behind the civil and mature conversation that occurred, there was sadness and heartbreak. There were no more smiles or laughs, no more love and affection, or anymore meet-ups during lunch or coffee dates during breaks. The painful look on Harry’s face had only pained you even more, but you both knew this split-up and time apart was for the best.

That was six months ago.

Now, as you sat across Harry, you felt an overwhelming rush of relief and joy; he just looked happier and you saw a familiar glint in his eyes as he looked at you. It may not be the same sparkle of love as it once was, which you were afraid it wasn’t, but there was still some kind of sparkle—the kind someone would give when they reunite with an old friend.

“The kids miss you—they miss you a lot.”

Your eyes look at him fondly at the mention of his children. “Really?”

“Yeah, they do. They said, and I quote, they miss their ‘pretty fairy second mom,’” Harry said quite proudly.

Harry had three kids that you absolutely adored. There was Mira and Estelle, seven-year-old twins that looked like their father. Mira was very energetic and talkative—that little girl could talk for hours on end without missing a beat; Estelle was more quiet and reserved, but once you started hanging around, she opened up and was quite fun to have a laugh with. Then there was the sweet little two-year-old boy, Rory, who resembled his mother. He was always babbling and giggling, so happy and free.

If Harry was being honest, Rory was a complete accident. Him and his ex had separated and broken up when the twins were four, but they were still seeing each other. Those occasional hangouts led to another child, which they both thought would help them bond, but six months into the pregnancy, they both knew it wasn’t right anymore—not like before. So, they stuck to coparenting and, if they were speaking the truth, it was much better than being together.

When Rory was six months old, that was when Harry met you. On an unexpected literal run in the park when you and Harry were on your daily runs, the trail was only narrow and small enough for one person to run. So, when you and Harry were running towards each other, you braced yourself for the awkwardness you were about to face with the man. Harry politely smiled, moving to his left, only for you to move to your right, which made you both giggle. The two of you then moved to the opposite side, only to clash again. The thought was quite hilarious to the two of you, so you both started laughing, clutching your stomachs. Once you two calmed down, Harry then said that he was going to his left, so you moved to your left, running the opposite directions from each other.

At the end of the trail and on your way to the parking lot, you saw Harry finish the same trail but exit from the other side. And if it said anything more, you parked right next to his car as well. Harry smiled, dimples flashing and asked you how your run was, which then led to a bit of small talk. In the six minutes you two were talking, Harry made the impulsive decision to ask you if you would like some coffee. He wouldn’t have asked if it were anyone else, and until that moment he didn’t even know if he was ready to date again. But he took the chance and decided to ask you, and luckily, you said yes.

The rest was history.

“I miss them so much too.” You smiled softly, thinking about the kids that you had thought of as your own.

“I, uh, I know it’s too much to ask, but I figured I should ask either way…Would you like to see them? Mira would never live it down if I told them that I saw you and didn’t ask if you wanted to see them.” He added a chuckle at the end, nerves creeping up his skin.

Your eyes lit up. “Really? You’d let me see them?”

Harry raised his brows. “Yeah, of course! You could see them anytime you want, if you’d like. Just because we’re not, y’know, together doesn’t mean that you can’t see them. I know how much you love them and how much they love you too,” he reassured.

“Would Laurie be okay with that?” You asked about his ex and the mother of said children.

He nodded. “Yeah, she would. I mean, she also knows how much they love you.” Harry was lucky that the mother of his children and his ex was so kind and chill with having someone that Harry loved be ‘another mother’ to her children; all Laurie really asked of you was to not try and replace her role as their mom and to always keep them safe when she wasn’t around, and who were you to disrespect her wishes?

“Harry, I would love to, thank you. I really do miss them.” You felt yourself getting a bit emotional because of how much you missed the kids, and it’d felt like an eternity since you last saw them.

“Great! Tomorrow is the weekend, so are you free to go to the park and maybe get some ice cream after?”

“Yeah, that sounds like a plan.” You smiled, not too widely as you tried to contain your excitement.

Harry smiled back at you before quickly looking at his phone to check the time. “I gotta get back. But I’ll see you tomorrow and will text you the details tonight.”

“Okay, see you soon.” You stood up to hug him, and his arm immediately wrapped around your waist, hugging you to his chest. His stomach was doing flips as he felt your breath against the crook of his neck. He didn’t want the moment to end, and it was the most physical contact that you two had in six months.

Pulling away, he offered you a smile before bidding you goodbye, and you finally let out the breath you had been holding the moment the bell chimed and the man you still loved walked in.

A soft blush was planted on Harry’s cheeks for the entire day. He was driving from work to Laurie’s house to pick up his beloved children as he thought about how his day turned out to be.

In all honesty, he hadn’t expected to see you in the coffee shop that you two had gone to throughout the entirety of your relationship. He had just gotten out of a meeting and was debating on going to Coava because he hadn’t been there since the day you two called it quits, but he figured it was time and thought that maybe reminiscing on the memories you two had with each other wasn’t a bad thing. So, he walked into that shop thinking he was just going to get a coffee to-go, but he had gone in there and left with something so much better.

The moment his eyes landed on yours his mind had screamed and reassured him that he wasn’t just dreaming that you were standing right in front of him, he felt his stomach drop in the best way. The heat had rushed to his cheeks, tugging on the corners of his lips, urging his mouth to smile, and he did not hold back his joy when he saw you. You were beautiful, just like he remembered, but he had no doubt that there wasn’t a day that went by where you weren’t not absolutely stunning.

And the giddy feeling he felt when he asked you if you’d like to see the kids made his heart tumble inside of his chest as he couldn’t wait for you and the kids to finally see each other again.

Harry pulled into Laurie’s driveway, and he quickly got out and knocked on the door, waiting for Laurie to answer. He chuckled as he could practically hear the twins screaming from across the house to make sure they had everything they needed. When the door opened, he was met by his ex that he once loved, and still had some platonic love for her, naturally, as the mother of his children.

“Hey, Harry! They’re just getting their stuff ready,” she greeted with a smile, opening the door wider as she walked away from the entrance and let him in. She grabbed Rory from the couch, who was mindlessly playing with a giant puzzle piece, and gave him many kisses to his cheeks before saying goodbye to her son and handing him off to Harry.

Rory’s eyes lightened up at the sight of his father. “Dada!”

“Hi, my sweet boy. I’ve missed you.” He placed soft kisses to his chubby and squeezable cheeks.

“Girls, dad’s waiting!” Laurie called out from the bottom of the stairway before turning back towards Harry. “Why do you look like that?” She gave him a knowing look.

“Like what?” Harry asked, acting like he didn’t know what she was talking about. The blush really gave him away, he thought.

“You’re just…extra happy today.”

“Can’t I be happy, Laurie? To see my kids?” He teased, smirking as he hugged Rory to his chest.

“I mean, sure, but…did something happen today?”

His smile widened, and it was like he couldn’t contain the exciting feeling anymore and he just had to tell someone. “I saw Y/N today.”

Her brows raised. “Really? How is she?”

“She’s doing well, yeah. We talked for a little bit.” Was all that he told her.

“And I’m assuming it went well.” He nodded, not wanting to tell her more. “Well, that’s great, Harry. She was, is, a lovely woman and she took care of the kids, so that’s all that matters to me,” Laurie said genuinely; she wasn’t jealous, if she was being honest. All that mattered to her was that her kids were in good hands.

Suddenly more footsteps were coming down the stairs. “Dad!” The twins yelled at the same time. He put Rory down for a moment before he bent down to hug his two girls.

“Hi, my loves. How are you?” He kissed both of their cheeks, making their small arms hug him tighter.

“Dad, I scored one hundred percent on all my spelling tests, so I’m qualified for the spelling bee!” Mira explained excitedly once she let go of Harry.

“Really?! That’s amazing, bug. This week, I’ll help you study for it.” Mira beamed at that before walking over to her mom to say bye.

“How are you, my sunshine?” He directly asked Estelle, knowing that she was specifically waiting for Harry to have his attention on only her. Even though she’d never told him that, he could tell that sometimes Estelle lets Mira have her moment and wanted to speak with Harry when no one else was paying attention.

“I’m good. My teacher told me I could become a math…mathmat—daddy, what are they called?” She looked at Harry for help.

“Look at you, sunshine! I’m so proud of you my little mathematician.” Estelle’s eyes widened. “Is that you meant mathematician, sweetheart?” He smiled.

“Yes, that! I did good on my math test and even baked cookies for you!” Before Harry could say anything, Estelle ran off to the kitchen to grab the plate of cookies she baked last night.

“Alright, babies, let’s go. Say bye to mommy.” The kids said their goodbyes before Harry safely buckled them into their car seats and drove home for a week at their father’s.

When all four of them reached the front door, Harry told the twins to put their belongings away and wash up for dinner. He set Rory down in his high chair before cutting up some bananas in halves, and placing them on the plastic table in front of him for his pre-dinner snack. Knowing that his kids liked home cooked meals better than takeout, fortunately, he set out the ingredients to make some fried rice, which was quick and easy.

The twins rushed down the stairs once Harry put the leftover rice into the pan filled with sautéed veggies, and they settled onto the couch in front of the TV, waiting for dinner.

“Loves, set the table for me, please!” He called out from the kitchen as he transferred the rice from the pan to a large bowl, topping it with green onions. The girls each had a task for setting the table; Mira was in charge of forks and spoons, and Estelle handled the plates since she was less clums. He rolled Rory’s high chair over to the table, which he was so lucky to have gotten a high chair with wheels because it was so much easier to move him without carrying him and the chair; and he gave everyone an equal scoop, depending on how much they ate, and if they wanted seconds, he would be glad to serve them more.

As they ate, Harry was occasionally helping Rory eat the rice, just picking up the contents that didn’t make it into his mouth, as Estelle and Mira both took turns talking. Harry loved family dinner, he tried his very best to give all three of his children the attention that they deserved, but dinner was the one time they bonded the most because no one felt competitive or had the urge to start an argument when there was food in front of them.

“Daddy, how was your day?” Estelle asked curiously, and Harry smiled at his sunshine, as if she was the sun itself, heart swooning.

“It was great, thanks for asking, my love.” He placed his spoon on his plate. “I actually wanted to talk to you all about something.” The twins didn’t respond, just stared at him, encouraging him to continue. “Do you remember Y/N?” Just at the sound of your name, the crowd went absolutely wild.

“Y/N, yes!” Screamed Estelle, which was rare for her to raise her voice.

“Pretty, fairy second mom, of course we remember her, dad!” Mira exclaimed obviously.

“Fairy!” Rory had repeated the only word he could make out from Mira’s mouth as he fussed because of the volume that had increased from his sisters.

Harry laughed. “Alright, okay, settle down. Well, I saw her today.” The twins gasped, making him chuckle. It genuinely felt like he was on a talk show with a live audience. “And I wanted to ask you all if you wanted to see her tomorrow? Figured we could go to the park and get some ice cream together?” He asked hesitantly, even though he knew they’d say yes, and he’d get another chance to see you again.

“Yes!” The girls both answered.

Harry beamed, turning to Rory. “Bubba, remember Y/N? Your slide friend? Remember you used to go on the slide with Y/N?” Rory giggled, a sound that was Harry’s weakness, and nodded. “Do you wanna see her tomorrow?”

“Slide with fairy?” Rory asked, and Harry laughed.

“Yes, slide with fairy,” he confirmed, and Rory nodded his head eagerly.

Harry smiled, glad his kids were with the plans tomorrow. The rest of the dinner was filled with the twins talking about you; they talked about what you all could do together at the park and what they wanted to show you, and Harry would be lucky if they slept through the entire night without continuously waking up because of their excitement for the upcoming afternoon.

Once everything was cleaned up and put away, the twins washed and cleaned, Harry give Rory a bath, and everyone was ready for bed, Harry said good night to his babies, spending about five minutes cuddling and talking them to sleep until they fluttered their eyes closed and off to slumber.

Sighing, Harry closed his door, leaving the baby monitor from Rory’s room on his bedside table before he was able to unwind for the day. He always spent an extra amount of time on his skin care routine, figuring that he sometimes didn’t have time for himself and the only time he had was during nights.

When he was ready for bed, he felt a huge amount of relief to be getting into bed after a long but grateful day, and he picked up his phone and clicked on your message thread. The last time you two texted was a few weeks after the breakup, asking if you were doing okay, and he could practically feel the awkward tension through the texts as he reread them. But he was glad that this time would be a much lighter and better conversation.

Hi, Y/N. Hope this is the right number still. But if it is, kids are on board for tomorrow. Does 12:30 work for you? We could meet at the usual park. If it’s not Y/N, please don’t meet at the usual park because the kids are not on board.

You chuckled at the end of his text, happy to see that Harry is always trying to make jokes and be the comedian.

Hi, Harry! Don’t worry, this is Y/N. Probably would have hunted the person with my number down to get tomorrow’s plans. But that sounds perfect! I can't wait to see the kids tomorrow. See you then!

Harry softly smiled at his phone, not feeling the need to respond and figured he would talk to you a lot more tomorrow while the kids are playing. He stared at the message for quite some time, completely blank as he couldn’t believe the chances that he happened to see you at the shop six months after the breakup, and now he’s making plans with you tomorrow; his jaw was aching from smiling so much.

A few minutes later, he put his phone away to change before he comfortably situated himself under the blanket, feeling the heaviness of his eyes. But once he felt himself starting to drift away into dreamland, his phone buzzed on his nightstand, and he tried his best to ignore it, but curiosity got the best of him, so he picked up his phone and opened the new message.

And I can’t wait to see you tomorrow too.

And just like that, Harry was wide awake, struggling to sleep, but a smile permanently etched on his face for the night.

The day that everyone in the Styles’ household had been waiting for had finally arrived. Luckily, the kids had gotten their needed hours of sleep; Harry had only gotten a few hours of sleep, but when the sun seeped through his curtains, he didn’t dread getting up for the day. Instead, he felt a rush of eagerness, instantly remembering what the day held for him and his kids, and he jumped right out of bed.

Once the four of them were out of the house, Harry had successfully fed, cleaned, and changed his children with no complaints. The house and car ride was filled with conversations about how excited they were to see you again, asking how many more hours there was until they got to see you and if they were almost at the park.

Screams bounced off the roof of the car once Harry parked on the side of the curb; the twins had already taken their seatbelts off, getting antsy as they waited for their dad to open the car from the outside. Harry unbuckled Rory, carrying him until he rounded on the other side of the car to open the door for the twins. They quickly jumped out, clearly excited, but Harry did not forget to remind them that this was still a public area and anything could happen.

“Girls, slow down, please.” Estelle was holding Harry’s hand as Mira was holding her sister’s; Harry was still carrying Rory in his arms because his sister’s were practically lugging Harry with all their might, trying to get to their usual spot, so he didn’t want Rory to get hurt. “Loves, you know Y/N would tell you the exact same thing. Please, just slow down for me.” He pulled the Y/N card on them, knowing that they were better listeners with you than they are with him.

Once they were all close enough, they spotted a thick beige blanket under the tree with a picnic basket, and you sitting on top of it, setting everything up.

“Y/N!” The girls both screamed, Estelle letting go of Harry’s hand as they both ran towards you.

You looked up at the sound of your name, eyes brightening at the little girls running. “My Princesses! Hi, my loves!” You opened your arms widely, inviting the twins into your arms— they practically collided into your arms, making you fall onto your back since you didn’t get the chance to stand up—and embracing them with a big hug. Laughs came out of all of your mouths as wide smiles permanently stayed on your faces. “Oh, I missed you two so much!” You kissed both of their cheeks, making them giggle. You stood up, helping the girls up and brushed their clothes off with your hand from the grass. Harry and Rory were in sight, and Harry put the little boy down, making Rory run towards you. “My sweetheart, oh, you’ve gotten so big.” You hugged Rory to your chest, placing your hand behind his head as your other arm wrapped around his small body.

You were glad that Rory still had some memory of you, and didn’t shy away behind his father’s leg. You placed soft kisses on his cheeks, taking in his baby scent that you always loved.

After Rory was starting to fuss in your arms, most likely due to feeling overwhelmed from the lack of space, you let go of him before standing up.

“Hi, Y/N,” Harry greeted, offering a hug, which you gladly took.

You rubbed his back. “Hi, Harry. I’m so glad I’m here with you all.” You pulled away, smiling at him. Harry’s heart pounded against his chest at the sight of you smiling up at him. His heart did a backflip at the sight of your gorgeous smile, trickling all the way down to his stomach where it triggered the butterflies to release from the net.

“Please, we were all really excited to see you. So, thank you for agreeing.” His hand innocently ran down your arm, sending shivers down your spine.

You turned around to look at the kids who were making themselves comfortable on the blanket. You and Harry joined them as you sat in between Estelle and Rory, and Harry sat in between Mira and Rory.

“Okay, so I made some sandwiches. You all still like grilled cheese, right?” You hoped, and the twins nodded; you turned towards Rory. “What about you, sweet pea? Grilled cheese?” At the sound of cheese, Rory nodded his head and clapped his hands, making you smile.

Harry was so lost in his mind and heart that he was simply so distracted in helping you out as you unwrapped the sandwiches from the foil, putting them on a paper plate. He was just so fond of watching you interact with his children so naturally, like there was no time that was wasted when you and Harry were apart. And he was especially happy that the kids still loved you just as much as they did when you two were together; and how they still kept talking about you despite the breakup.

Aside from you and Harry, the kids had taken the breakup the hardest. From the knowledge they had based on what Harry and Laurie told them, they understood that their mommy and daddy couldn’t be together anymore due to adult reasons; it took them a while to adjust to that, but they eventually managed and figured it was better and more fun. But when Harry had to break the news on why they wouldn’t be seeing their ‘Pretty Fairy Second Mom’ anymore, they took it harder than expected. They simply looked at it as you didn’t want to see them anymore, which wasn’t the case at all, Harry explained.

“Sometimes adults need to take some time apart, loves. That does not mean that Y/N doesn’t love you anymore because she does very much, I can tell you that. But it's good to have some time to yourself, especially in a relationship.”

“But daddy, I thought you were gonna be together forever with Y/N,” Estelle spoke up, tears in her eyes. He was lucky that his kids loved you so much, and he never doubted that they weren’t going to. But his fear had come true when you two called it quits and he had to tell them the truth.

“And maybe we will, but as for right now, it’s best to be apart. Sometimes being apart saves the relationship rather than letting it burn,” he told them honestly, which was the best as he could explain it.

“D-Does Y/N still love you?” Mira asked softly. It wasn’t like Mira to be so soft spoken, which meant that the breakup had affected her deeply.

Harry sighed, grabbing both of their small hands. “She does,” he replied for the sake of more tears coming out of their eyes—plus, he was taking your word for it back at the cafe. “And she also loves you all so much too,” he reminded them again. What he really wanted to say was that maybe one day you two will get back together, but he really didn’t want to get their hopes up.

Looking back on his conversation from half a year ago, he was glad that he told them the truth on why you two broke up. He didn’t want to confuse his children even further, making them completely oblivious to the situation—he just wanted to be honest with them because he hoped you two would meet again and get back together at some point.

“Harry, would you like one?” You asked, bringing Harry back out of his thoughts. He smiled, nodding, not trusting his voice to speak; and you gladly handed him a plate with a sandwich, pouring some chips onto the side—his favorite chips, you still remembered.

“Thank you.” He smiled softly. The corners of your lips turned up as you bashfully looked at the picnic basket in front of you. You placed Rory’s plate in front of him as he seemed to have crawled to sit closer to you, and you cut out his sandwich into small pieces, along with cutting his grapes in half. “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” He stopped you from what you were doing, ready to take Rory from your side as he didn’t want you to feel obligated to take care of him.

“Oh, if you don’t want me to, that’s fine. But I wouldn’t mind feeding him a bit.”

“If you want to.”

You gave him the sweetest grin, and Harry was lucky to be sitting down because his knees would give out on him if he were standing. “I want to.” He only nodded, a crimson color laid on his cheeks.

Harry comfortably watched as you made conversation with the twins as you fed Rory. You always gave them your undivided attention; your expression always lit up everytime they talked about something they were passionate about or interested in, and it just made Harry fall even more with how you were always so supportive in what his kids loved. You were always uplifting them, never dragging their hopes and dreams down.

After everyone was finished with their meals and had time to digest their food, the twins asked if they could go on the swings and Harry said yes. The tree that they were under was only a few feet away, so Harry had a clear view of his girls.

“You’re, like, a magician.” Harry suddenly said, breaking the silence once the girls were safely on the swing.

You chuckled. “How’s that?”

“It’s like hiring a magician at a party—everyone is so excited to see what they do and see them in general—you’re like that; the girls and Rory were so excited to see you.”

You playfully gasped, holding Rory to your chest. “You were excited to see me? Well, I was excited to see you!” You booped his nose, making Rory giggle.

“Fairy!” He exclaimed, and you and Harry laughed. Rory was a quiet two-year-old, but he picked up on keywords that he repeatedly said.

“So, are you seeing anyone?” You cut to the chase, skipping the small talk.

Harry chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “Nope. Not entirely sure if anyone wants to date a thirty-four-year-old with three kids.”

You raised your brows in shock, and he knew that look you’re giving him very well—prepared to tease him; even though you weren’t that much younger than him either. “What? Do you think no one wants to date a hot dad? Harry, you’re peak-dilf, everyone wants to date you.”

“And what about you? Do you wanna date me? A dilf?” He teased; a smirk that you knew all too well appeared on his face, making you want to kiss it off, which was what you used to do.

Pursing your lips and cheeks heating up, you gave him an obvious look before you said, “Think you know the answer to that one, baby.” In all honesty, the pet name had slipped, and for a brief moment your eyes widened at the realization, but you brushed it off and continued with your confident and teasing attitude; and it worked quite well on Harry because he definitely heard what you used to call him loud and clear. It made his heart flutter as he missed you calling him that; he never wanted to hear that name come out of anyone else’s mouth because only yours would do it justice.

Harry was left to ponder about your response before you changed the subject, talking to Rory. “Sweets, do you wanna go on the slide?” The little boy jumped up and down, pulling your arm as he had a big smile on his face. You looked at Harry, and he gave you a nod, telling you that he would stay put and watch your belongings.

You and Rory walked hand in hand, or more like hand and finger, to the slide. It was an open purple slide with two sides, and it lasted about two seconds if you slid correctly and if the slide was slippery enough. You helped Rory step onto the playground as the dull metal steps were quite high for him to reach on his own before you guided him towards the slide.

Sitting down at the top and on the edge of the slide, you carried Rory into your lap, hyping him up for what he had been waiting for. “Ready, sweets? Are you ready?” Your tone was pure excitement as you squeezed and tickled his belly.

“Go, Y/N, go!” Directed Rory, and you scooted forward and held onto the sweet boy in your arms tightly as you two slid down the slide. Mouthfuls of squealing screams and giggles came from Rory’s mouth as he clapped his hands towards the end of the slide, causing you to cheer as well.

And the proper dad that he was, Harry clicked the red button on the screen to stop recording you and Rory from the slide. He zoomed in, capturing the bright smiles placed on his sweet boy’s and the love of his life’s face, screenshotting the perfect frame. He didn’t think the day could have gone any better than this; it was quite the perfect day, he thought.

When it was rounding two in the afternoon, Rory’s eyes were starting to droop, exhaustion taking over him from running around for almost an hour that his little body couldn’t keep up, so a nap was in his favor. He lazily looked up at you, reaching his arms up for you to carry him, which you happily held him. He settled his head on your shoulder, and it only took a few kisses and back rubs for him to be out like a light while the sun still shined in his face.

You walked over to the blanket, figuring it was time to call it a day at the park; Harry and the twins were running around nearby on the bedded grass area playing tag. They retreated to the blanket once they saw you with Rory in your arms, breaths heavy from their run.

“Oh, my sweet, sweet boy.” Harry sighed when he got to spot under the tree; you handed Rory to him, admiring the two boys cuddling as Harry pressed quiet and soft kisses to his son’s head. Since your lap was available, Estelle and Mira took the chance to finally be able to properly cuddle you since Rory was taking most of your attention. The girls took one leg each, and you wrapped your arms around their waist, kissing their shoulder.

The five of you stayed put for a while, calming down under the breezy weather that had started to pick up until it got even colder was when Harry decided it was time to leave. Luckily the girls were still awake to help with cleaning up, and were rather helpful because Harry was trying his best with Rory situated on one side of his body.

Once all of you were next to your cars, Harry placed Rory in his car seat as you were hugging the girls goodbye. You and Harry agreed that everyone was too tired to go out for some ice cream since all the twins wanted to do was lie down. Harry knew he didn’t want the day to end, even though it was still quite early, but the older he got, the tougher it was to keep up with his little children who just loved running around; a relaxing and peaceful night was calling him.

“Hey.” Harry closed the passenger door before he rounded the car to meet you on the grass. “I know we talked about going for ice cream today, but it seemed like we’re all too tired, but I was wondering…” he paused for a moment, a bit of hesitancy in his voice. “Would you like to come over? Maybe…for dinner, or to have a glass or w-water?” He scratched the back of his neck, nerves getting the best of him.

You smiled, thinking he was the absolute cutest when he was flustered. “Harry, I’d love to. Feels like I haven’t drank any water so I’m parched,” you teased.

He breathed out a laugh. “Okay, uh, I’ll see you home.” He gave you another smile before walking away and inside of his car, completely unaware of his choice of words.

Home. More specifically, Harry’s home. It was a place that made you feel safe, and if you’re being honest, it’s been too long since you’d had complete solace.

Your mental pep-talk throughout the drive toward Harry’s had helped in some way. Keeping it simple without driving your mind into overthinking every single thought, you laid it all down as if you were planning and preparing a business proposal.

You didn’t want to dive deep into what Harry’s invitation could entail—more like you didn’t want to get your hopes up on if you two were to get back together because the potential rejection you could face would absolutely crush you. Harry’s a kind and sweet guy, he’s simply inviting a friend over for a drink and dinner, if you could even call yourself that. Plus, it was still early to fully call it a day, and he planned for ice cream after the park, so he was fulfilling that promise of sweet dessert.

Without realizing, you’d been sitting in your car for a solid five minutes, staring over your steering wheel as you were parked on the curb in front of Harry’s house. Harry’s car was already in the driveway, so they were just waiting on you.

You walked towards the front door, and it swung open before you even got the chance to knock.

“Hey, thought you’d change your mind when you weren’t getting out of the car,” Harry joked, although that thought really crossed his mind when he peeked out through the window and saw you still in your car.

You chuckled nervously. “Oh, no. I wouldn’t.” You stepped inside his house, and a wave of nostalgia rushed through you as if you were at the beach and the harsh current knocked you over as you were trying to walk against the sandy wind.

Everything still looked the same—the same since the night you left without another word to the kids, just a note to Harry telling you to meet at the shop. A pinch of guilt appeared in your face as you frowned, and Harry immediately took notice, but you waved it off as you slightly smiled, telling him that you two would talk later. He didn’t press any further, waiting until later or when you were ready. Instead, he asked if you wanted anything to drink, to which he already knew you’d go for a class of Cabernet, and luckily, he had some in stock—more like, he still had the untouched bottle for when you stayed over.

The two of you leaned against the cold granite counter as music softly played on the speaker that was connected through Bluetooth on his phone. Conversations were light, but it wasn’t awkward in any sense. As a matter of fact, it felt just like old times when you would stay over his house, talking about each other’s day and simply enjoying the presence of one another. That’s what you think this was, you thought—enjoying the fact that Harry was in front of you after so many months and you were cherishing it until the next set of months went by.

After a few conversations and sips of wine later, the time had gone by fairly fast, which always happened when you were with him, and it was nearing five. The kids had woken up from their nap at four and quietly settled in the living room—the twins on the couch in front of the television and Rory was on the padded mat playing with his toys, occasionally talking to his sisters. Harry asked if you would be okay watching them so he could make dinner, and you were close to reminding him that he didn’t need to ask to watch his kids, but then again, you had to remind yourself that things were a bit different now. So, you said that you didn’t mind and walked over to the sofa chair next to the couch and watched TV with the girls as well as play with Rory.

Twenty-five minutes had gone by and Harry called everyone, announcing that dinner was ready. You all walked into the dining room, taking your seats. Your assigned seat was next to Rory’s chair, which was in between you and Harry; the girls were sitting across from you. Once everyone took several bites of Harry’s dinner--a quick fettuccine alfredo--the chatter was back. You enthusiastically listened to the girls and Rory talk; it made Harry smile, loving how natural everything felt.

Estelle tapped Harry’s shoulder, making him turn towards her with a smile on his face. “What is it, sunshine?” She got off her chair, leaning over to whisper something into his ear and he smiled, turning back to his family who was curious as to what Estelle had said. “Go ahead and ask her, love.”

You put down your fork and placed your arms on the table. “What’s up, Princess?”

“Uh, c-can we go to that place?”

“What place is that?” You asked curiously.

“That place where you told Daddy you loved him,” she responded quite bashfully. Your mouth was slightly open, not expecting her to say what she did. Looking over at Harry, he simply had a soft smile on his face with his brows raised, shrugging his shoulders.

Did you want to go back there? The answer was a simple yes. There wasn’t any excuse that you could possibly make up on the spot as to why you couldn’t go there, and it wasn’t necessarily a bad place whenever you thought about it. In fact, you really missed going over there and you would be lying if you said that you didn’t think about that place often.

Your head turned towards Estelle. “Sure, why not. How about we go tomorrow?” You asked everyone, and they all had smiles on their faces. You looked at Harry, directly asking him for permission. “Is that okay?” His elbow was resting against the arm of the brown chair, fingers placed under his lips as he slightly puckered his soft and pink lips; without looking under the table, you knew his legs were crossed. Harry smiled, nodding his head, and everyone cheered.

The rest of the time everyone was sitting at the dinner table, you all talked about plans for tomorrow, and everyone was really excited. Once it was almost eight, Harry realized that it was almost their bedtime, so he hurried them up the stairs to get ready for bed before saying goodnight to you, getting in as many hugs and kisses as they could get.

Harry was upstairs, changing Rory and putting him to bed before he walked down and found you in the kitchen washing dishes. He slipped past you, placing his hand along your lower back briefly before he grabbed the dish rag. The action sent a chill down your spine and you immediately missed his hands on you.

“The kids seem really excited about tomorrow.” Harry broke the silence, glancing over at you as you continued to wash the dishes.

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m really excited too.”

Harry noticed the slight shortness, and he thought it may be because you were tired. “Hey, are you okay?”

You turned off the water and faced him, crossing your arms as he did the same.

“Do the kids hate me?” The corner of his lips turned up before he started laughing, clutching his stomach. If it were any other time, you would obsess over his laugh; it was music to your ears, the highlight of your day, and the sun when it’s bright out. You softly slapped his arm. “Harry! I’m being serious!”

“Darling, you’re joking, right?” Your heart briefly fluttered at his nickname for you. “Those kids love you!” He noticed your change of attitude and that you’d been thinking about this for a while and beating yourself up over it.

“It’s just…I don’t want them to think that we broke up and I forgot about them. I mean I understand if they see it that way because I left without saying another word for six months--didn’t even get to say goodbye to them and have a proper talk. I just don’t want them to hate me.” You looked down at your feet as you played with the thin silver band on your middle finger.

Harry’s seen you in work mode, and it reeks confidence and power. You don’t need much reassurance during work unless it’s when your employees tell you that progress is moving along. But this was completely different; you needed all the reassurance that you could get to get it through your head that the kids that you’d come to love--from the moment you met them--don’t hate you. And Harry didn’t mind telling you over and over again.

“They were just that we split up, that’s all. But they quickly understood why.”

“What’d you tell them?” You asked curiously.

“The truth--that sometimes it’s better to be apart for a while rather than drive ourselves crazy. Told them that when the time is right, then maybe we’ll get back together.” The look in his eyes was so comforting that you immediately fell into them. Harry was always the best with giving you that extra reassurance that you and his kids need.

You felt the extra beat in your chest that pumped so harshly against your chest, but it was surrounded by butterflies, making it flutter throughout your body. As you looked so deeply into Harry’s beautiful green eyes, you realized one of two things; the first thing was that you never wanted to look so deeply into another person’s eyes unless it was Harry’s; and the second thing was that you were incredibly and overwhelmingly still in love with this man and his three children, and there hadn’t been a day that gone by where you weren’t.

Taking a deep breath, itches were crawling up your skin, begging you to say something. “D-Do you think it’s time?” Your voice asked shyly.

Harry was taken back by your question as he raised his brows. He couldn’t deny the nerves that he felt whenever he was around you, but your question seemed to have increased his nervousness.

“We’ve been separated for what feels like a long time now.” He paused, taking a deep breath as he recouped his thoughts to say the right words. “I think-”

“Daddy?” Yours and Harry’s head whipped towards the staircase, finding Estelle at the bottom of it with groggy eyes.

Harry walked towards his sunshine. “What is it, my love?” He kneeled down onto the bottom step, matching her height. Estelle told him that she couldn’t sleep, and that she’s been tossing and turning for a while, so Harry told her that he would lay with her until she fell asleep and carried her to her bedroom. He looked back at you as he was walking up the steps, and you gave him a soft smile, letting him know that it was completely okay.

You finished tidying up the kitchen, wiping down the counters and cleaning the dining table until you realized that you needed to get ready for tomorrow’s adventure.

Once Harry came down the stairs, he found you sitting on the edge of the armchair with your purse on your shoulder; you looked up as he walked up to you.

“I’m gonna head out.”

Harry’s slightly frowned. “Oh, you can stay the night if you want to.”

“No, it’s okay, thanks.” You really did want to stay the night, but you didn’t have a change of clothes for tomorrow. “I’ll be here tomorrow morning.” He nodded, walking you to the door, opening it for you.

You stepped out on his doorstep, turning around as you wrapped your arm around his waist, tiptoeing to plant a kiss to his cheek. The slightest bit of touch from your lips sent Harry’s skin on fire, warming up to the affection. The touch was sent away too quickly as you let go of him completely, giving him one last smile before walking to your car and waving at him as you drove away.

Harry closed the door, the palm of his hand cupped the cheek that you kissed and he sighed as if he was shot with Cupid’s love-arrow, and he wouldn’t mind it if it meant he would feel your affection every single day.

You arrived at the Styles household at ten in the morning with a tote-full of snacks and water, knowing the kids would get hungry from all the walking. You got there forty-five minutes earlier than planned, knowing that the Styles family wouldn’t be out the door right on time because Harry has three kids, two of them who bicker and complain from time to time—especially when they’re sleepy—and a two-year-old who was starting to run away from everything. So, you figured Harry would appreciate your help.

When Harry saw you standing on his doorstep, he let out a sigh of relief. He was still in his striped pajamas pants and a white t-shirt, holding a small pair of olive green pants. You walked in and saw Rory running around half naked, despite it being early in the morning. You told Harry that he could shower and get ready for the day, and to leave it to you because you’ll handle it—plus, you both knew that the kids often listened to you more than their own dad. He smiled appreciatively, kissing your head briefly before walking up the stairs and getting ready.

Once Rory saw you, he stopped running around the house and instead, ran towards you and into your arms. You carried him up the stairs and to his room to get some clothes on him, and luckily, Harry was able to bathe him before you showed up. You gave him his favorite toy to fumble with before you walked into Mira's room, setting Rory on her twin bed before helping her get ready. You left Rory in Mira’s room and went to Estelle’s bedroom, doing the same.

By the time Harry walked downstairs, you and the three kids were sitting on the couch, eating a banana. He smiled, slowing his steps as he was amazed at the quietness and stillness in the house, but then again, he wasn’t that amazed because he knew you’d come in and get things in order.

Harry’s home was a two minute walk to the train station, and everyone decided to take the train since it was what you and Harry did when you two were dating, and the kids really wanted to walk through the entire path of their father’s love story.

Luckily, there weren’t that many people on the train—it was practically empty—so they didn’t have to rush to get a spot for the kids. Rory sat in the middle of his sisters as they all smiled brightly towards Harry’s phone that was capturing the adorable children for a sweet memory sake. You and Harry were standing, making sure neither of the kids fell over if the train made a halting stop. You held onto the metal bar above you, Harry held the bar that was mounted into the floor, and you both watched the kids interact with one another—counting on their fingers, booping one another’s noses, and laughing; it was every parent’s dream.

Without noticing, Harry moved closer to you, placing his hand directly next to yours; the side of your hand touched his, and you looked at him with wide eyes while your heart fluttered. You were hip to hip, and you saw the smirk he had on his face while occasionally glancing over at you. You couldn’t help the heat that rose onto your cheeks because it felt like old times when you two used to ride the train together and it would get too packed to where you had to stand up; he would always face you as your hands touched—sometimes he would even intertwine your fingers together while you two held the bar as you were one—and he would hover over you, giving you plentiful kisses like the true romantic that he was.

The train ride took about 30 minutes and it was a two minute walk to the place that gave you so many happy memories and nostalgia—International Rose Test Garden was where the memories of you and Harry were stored.

You had the girls on either side of you, holding their hands; and Harry carried Rory since he was likely to run around and Harry didn’t want to risk his safety.

The sun was bright—beautiful for a day in the garden as the roses and flowers bloomed ever so widely. All of you walked the rows and rows of flowers, occasionally taking pictures in front of the rose bushes.

Remembering all the times you and Harry were hand in hand, laughing until your stomachs were sore, like you did an intense ab workout, and there were tears resting in the outer corner of your eyes. All the memories that were swirling around in your head made you come to the conclusion to one thing: you never want to be without Harry and his kids ever again.

You don’t know how it took you so long to realize this, maybe it was seeing them for the first time in six months that you realized that you had it great—a small family that accepted you and loved you for who you were, and you loved them just the same.

Harry walked beside you, the kids skipping and playing around in the grass in front of you two. Confidently, you slipped your hand into Harry’s ringed hand, immediately intertwining your fingers together as if your hand knew what it was missing. Harry briefly looked down before looking at you. He smiled, and turned his head back towards the kids, not making a big deal of it as his warm hand accepted the coldness of yours.

You gently tugged against his arm, pulling him back as he came face to face with you; a quiet gasp came out of his mouth when doing so. You looked up at him with bright eyes, and Harry was taken back to a year and a half ago where you, coincidentally, were in this same spot on the very green patch of grass.

“Harry…” you breathed out, looking down at your feet nervously. He made the bold move to step closer to you, chests almost touching. Harry lifted your chin up with his fingers, locking eyes with you so intently that you practically lost your breath.

“What is it?” He whispered.

Taking a deep breath, you said, “I-I realized something.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

Glancing over at the kids, they were giving you big smiles and thumbs up for reassurance, and your heart swooned at their support and love they provided you to finally get back together with their father, even if you weren’t their biological mother.

You looked back at Harry, who was waiting patiently. “I love you. I still do and never stopped.” Harry felt like he stopped breathing at that moment. “You make me so happy—you and the kids, and I don’t want to be without you all anymore. I-I don’t like how it’s only taken me this much time to tell you this, but it felt like the perfect time since this was the place where I first told you I loved you.”

Harry smiled, taking your hands into his. His thumbs smoothed your skin on the back of your hand before he brought them up to his lips and kissed them so delicately. The action made you smile softly before your mind had switched it to thinking that it was affection before the rejection.

But then he opened his mouth to speak such beautiful words that you had been aching to hear during the breakup.

“You’re my everything. I truly don’t know what I’d do without you because you. You’re part of my source of happiness, and life didn’t feel the same without you—the kids could agree with me on that.” He chuckled, looking at them to find them holding hands and jumping around in circles. “But I know that we separated for the better only for us to come back stronger than ever, and I’m never gonna let go of you again, okay?”

Tears pricked your eyes before they streamed down your cheeks. Your heart felt like it was pounding harder than ever, but it was filled with so much love from and for this man in front of you.

Harry wiped away your tears, leaning in to kiss your forehead, down to your eyelids as he kissed your tears away. He pulled away and you opened your eyes, giving each other a relieved and happy smile.

“I love you,” he said, and he swore he saw the brightest smile he’s ever seen—brighter than the sun. “Always have and always will.”

“And I love you. C-Can you kiss me, please?”

Harry grinned. “It would be an honor.”

Placing his palms on the side of your face, he leaned his forehead against yours. Your hands were wrapped around his wrists, rubbing his skin softly. With a smile, he kissed you with such softness and passion that the flowers bloomed largely and the sun shined ever so brightly. The kids cheered and clapped, making bystanders think that you’d just gotten engaged, but you both knew that would be the next step. Your stomach was in knots, butterflies surrounding your body as he captured your lips with his. Hugging Harry’s waist, you pulled him closer and wrapped your arms around him, and he kissed you harder, effortlessly moving his lips in sync with yours as if he was a pro on kissing you, which he was.

Harry pulled away first, giving you several pecks before opening his eyes. “God, I missed doing that. Missed you so much, darling.”

“I missed you too, baby.” You were high on happiness, high on love. “I’m sorry it took us this long.” A slight frown appeared on your face, but Harry kissed it away.

“Hey, hey. None of that. I would’ve loved you until the end of time. I don’t care how long it took, you’re my forever,” he vowed, not planning to break that promise.

Missing his lips on yours, you leaned up to kiss him again while your arms were wrapped around his neck and his were around your waist, holding you tightly as if he was afraid you’d run off.

Suddenly, you started giggling into the kiss, making Harry smile before he pulled away.

“What’s so funny?” He asked. You started thinking about the conversation from the park when you asked him if he was seeing someone.

You curled in your lips before you said, “You’re a literal dilf, and I’m so in love with you.”

please tell me all of your thoughts, feelings, favorite moments and scenes! thank you for reading <3

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles ff #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x yn #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles reader insert #harry styles au #dad!harry #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine

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panic-in-the-multiverse · 3 years

Text

Invisible

Pairings: Cordell Walker x teen!reader

Requested by @jarpad24 : Could you please do a Cordell Walker x reader where runs away from her family and cordell finds her sat out by the border by herself. She explains why she ran away was that she felt invisible, that no one would notice that she had gone missing. She tells him that she ran away a week before and that her fears had been confirmed. Lots of fluff and comfort, obviously a bit of crying and definitely a Cordell hug 🤗Thank you so much hun 😁 I understand if you can't but If you can thank you in advance 😁 😊

Warnings: feeling invisible, a bit of depression, neglected by your parents and older sibling, a little angst, fluff (is that even a warning)

A/N I know this isn’t exactly what you requested, but I do really hope you like it, and I got a little carried away when I started to write which is why it turned out longer than I expected it to be, and I loved the request and I loved writing this one. If it‘s something else that you were looking for in your request you can just comment on this post or message me, and I will try my best to make what you want. If I by accident counted wrong on how many days had went past then I’m terribly sorry I’m really bad at math. l’m so sorry for the long wait. If you want to request send it in my inbox or just message me, love you all

As usual you hadn’t even been spared a single glance as you said hello when you had gotten home from school. Like usual the rest of your family were to caught up in there own thing than to even acknowledge you. Your older sibling didn’t even seem to notice you. At least they cared enough to get you into a school and give you food and clothes, but other than that it was like you were a stranger walking around in the house, it was even like you were a ghost to them, just flying around.

So that’s why you had decided to run away, and instead of walking straight to your room you made a turn and walked into the kitchen. You took a few apples and a bottle that you filled up with water and put them into your school bag. Then you took some other things to eat like some toasts and a few cookies that you found in a jar on the kitchen table. You put the rest of the food inside your bag and walked upstairs to your room.

As soon as you were inside your room you emptied your bag of items on your bed. Then you packed a few clothes and put in the food and water bottle. You also decided that you would leave after dinner as you would probably get hungry quickly if you left with an empty stomach, and they would probably notice if you weren’t down for dinner.

A few hours later you could hear your parents yell out that dinner was ready. You walked down and sat down at the table, taking a good amount of food on your plate so you wouldn’t get hungry later on when you were to run away. Like when you had gotten home your parents didn’t acknowledge you. They only talked to your older sibling and asked how school was and talked like never before. While they talked you sat there eating your food as quickly as possible, the sooner you ate up, the sooner you could escape from this place.

After you ate up you darted up to your room. Took your bag, put on your shoes and started your plan on running away. You opened the window all the way, and started to climb outside of it. After a while of struggling, and nearly falling down you were finally on the outside of your window. You took a tight grip on the tree that was right outside your window and started to climb down.

While you struggled to get down you accidentally placed your foot on a weak branch and it snapped, and your foot gave under. You list your grip with your hands and you nearly fell of the tree if you hadn’t been quick enough to take a grip of one of the big branches near your head. After that you started to slowly climb down, even if your foot still hurt from the branch that snapped beneath you. Slowly but steadily your shoes hit the ground and you let go of the tree.

You started by checking your foot for any injuries, and when you found none. You started to walk away to your favorite place and you didn’t look back.

Two days after you ran away and came to the border you couldn’t help but to think that maybe what you did was wrong. Maybe they were running around in town looking for you. Maybe your family was worried sick about you. Maybe they were even scared that you had been kidnapped. They had probably already went to the police and said that you were missing. Soon a police car would come up here saying that your family were worried sick about you and that they had been looking for you.

But as you waited no car came and your food was gone now. So you decided to go into town and look and see if your parents has been looking for you, it would also be a perfect time to go and get some food for the money that you had taken with you.

So that’s what you did and how you ended up by the border once again crying. You had seen your family through one of the windows of the house eating food completely normal, not a single look of worry on their faces. They were laughing and having fun. It was like they hadn’t even noticed that you were gone. They looked so happy without you there. So with sad, heavy footsteps you walked back to the border. On the way you had stopped by the police station, only to figure out that no one had even came to the police station saying that you were missing.

While you were crying you started to think about your life. You couldn’t believe that you from a beginning thought that your family’s behavior was normal.

Was it that you didn’t have the highest grade, or was it because you wasn’t the perfect daughter to them, was it that one time that you went to a party because you wanted a reaction out of them. Maybe it was because you weren’t really social and that you didn’t want to become what your parents wanted you to be when you were little. Because you knew that they did care for you for a little while until you turned six. As good as you tried you could never figure out why they ignored you all the time, you could never figure out why they treated you so badly. Why they didn’t care.

After a while your cries stopped and you had finally decided that you would never come back to them again. You didn’t want to be with your so called family anymore, you were sick of them and you would never set a foot inside of that house again. Sure you didn’t have it as bad as some people as you weren’t abused, but to have a family that didn’t care for you more than to give you food, clothes, and enroll you in school, just so they looked good in front of other people didn’t feel to well. To be ignored and feel like a ghost in your own house didn’t really feel too well either. It was something that made you dread going up in the mornings and not wanting to go home after school. It made you feel all alone in the world and sometimes even when you were with friends you still felt alone, and you couldn’t talk to anyone about this as they would just say that you are a dramatic teenager who wants attention. Your friends didn’t know about how you were treated at home, nor did the teachers now. It wasn’t like anyone needed to know as you never really had guests at home or any friends come over, when you lived there.

It was now four days after you had went into town and a car had pulled up by the border where you were sitting, as you cried for the second time that day. Out of the car stepped a very tall man with hat in his head. He looked at you concerned and you only looked down as you tried to stop yourself from crying more. You had recognized the man as Cordell Walker. He was the father to one of your only friends Stella. You had met him a few times before while you were at there home with Stella or that day that you had both went to a party with one of your other friend and had gotten caught by the police. Your parents hadn’t even cared to come pick you up so you had gotten home with the help of Stella’s father.

You were too caught up trying to stop sobbing that you hadn’t heard when he walked over. Not until you felt someone sitting down beside you. Cordell could feel you tense up a little bit before your shoulders relaxed and he decided to speak.

“Hey, uh you’re Y/N right, Stella’s friend”

When he broke the silence you felt like you would burst into tears again, someone had found you at your weakest and would probably bring you home again. The one thing you wanted the least at this moment was to go home to your family. The clump in your throat were getting bigger and bigger the more you thought about the possibility of seeing your parents and sibling again. The clump got so big that it was threatening to make you burst into tears if you so much as opened your mouth. So the only thing you did was nod your head yes, hoping that he saw it.

Both you and Cordell could feel the tension that started to come up with the silence. So I’m an attempt to break the uncomfortable silence he said the one thing he could come up with, which was what Stella had told him a few days back.

“So.. Stella told me you have been missing for a while now” This caused you to slightly glance at him to see that he was looking forward out on the sunset and the sky that was slowly getting darker each minute that passed by. In that moment you felt relieved that he wasn’t looking at you. If he had looked at you then he would of seen the tears that came to your eyes and the trembling lips, which had been caused by his words. It meant that someone had actually noticed your absence, not only Stella but she had even told her father about it. Even though you knew it wasn’t your parents who had been looking for you it still felt nice knowing that at least someone cared, even if it was only one of your friends.

“My uh… my family they… they don’t uh… they don’t really care about me”

Cordell got a little surprised as he hadn’t expected you to say anything, so when he turned and looked at you he saw that you were already looking at him. The lights from the sunset shining on your faces making him see your dull, tearful eyes.

As he looked at you he asked the words that you knew he would of asked when you said those words, even though you had hoped that he wouldn’t of asked. “What makes you think that?” he had a sad look on his face when he asked that specific question. He had an idea of what you were talking about, having heard from Stella about her theories with you and your relationship to your family. The worst part was that your words had reminded him of when he had left his own kids after Emily’s death. He felt sad to know that another kid that he kind of knew was probably going threw something similar.

With a sad voice that nearly broke you said your next words “I know what I fear is true”

You felt his gaze on you, waiting for you to continue, as you turned your head looking away from him. Once again the clump in your throat was back and you were afraid that at any moment you would break down. But deciding that you could trust him you continued.

“It’s just… I uh… I ran away a week ago, and they haven’t even been looking for me” at those words he couldn’t help but to feel pity for you knowing for a fact himself that they hadn’t reported you missing, and the only reason he knew was because of Stella. Knowing the truth himself he still wanted to comfort you so he tried once again as he said his next words he hoped you wouldn’t know that he was keeping something from you.

“Then how do you know that they haven’t been looking for you”

You felt that he was trying to comfort you at the same time as he was not telling the whole truth himself. You had been told before from Stella that he was good at lying, and you yourself were a good liar. You had to be to be able to lie to your friends about your home life whenever they would ask questions. So you being you feeling as he already knew too much, (and you did after all trust him) and that it wouldn’t really matter if you told him or not, decided to answer his question truthfully.

“I know that because I went into town to check, to see if they were, they hadn’t even gone to the police saying I was missing” and with those words your voice broke at the last part. You desperately hoped that he hadn’t heard that your voice wavered, and you definitely hoped that he hadn’t seen you biting down on your lip trying to keep you sobs inside. Not wanting him to see you at your lowest once again.

Unfortunately he had looked at you, seeing how you tried to hold in your sobs. He had heard your voice when it wavered, and he had felt the sadness within your words. On the other hand you were lucky that he cared about what you had said. That he cared enough to bring you into a hug.

As you felt his arms wrap slowly around you, you couldn’t help but to tense at first, not having had a any physical contact with someone in a while. His hug felt warm and comforting, like he truly wanted you to be okay. Your thoughts were only confirmed when he spoke up breaking the silence once again.

“You know I don’t think Stella would mind if you would come with me home, for a sleepover with her” and there was a silence before he spoke again “I wouldn’t mind and the rest of my family wouldn’t either… you could stay as long as you want… and you could probably even live over with us… I… I know Stella would be happy with that” he couldn’t stop himself while he said those words. After all his mother had taken in Hoyt, so what would stop him from taking care of you with the help of the rest of his family.

His words was all it took for you to break down. Soon one tear fell down your cheek, the rest of the tears followed instantly afterwards. Cordell could feel yourself breaking down as your tears fell from your eyes, and he positioned himself so that your face were know on his chest, his head resting on yours as he stroke your hair. Soon after his actions your sobs broke free, not being able to keep them in anymore.

As you fell apart in his arms he just continued to hug you while you cried as he tried his best to comfort you. Surprising you both when he started to whisper in comforting words like “everything is going to be okay” or “you won’t have to see them again” and all those words that he whispered made you feel better. He continued to comfort you until your sobs had died down and your tears had stopped.

He lifted himself of the ground bringing his right hand out for you to grab it. As you grabbed it he pulled you up. You felt him let go of your hand as he turned to walk over to the truck. But before he got there you ran up to him hugging him one last time. He hugged back not wanting to let you go.

The darknesses now surrounded the two of you except for the lights from his truck as you stood there hugging each other. As the two of you hugged, you couldn’t help but to feel lucky that he had decided to drive by the border that day. That he had stopped his car when he saw you, and that he had helped you. If he hadn’t then maybe you would of still been out there all alone.

#cordell walker #cordell walker x reader #jared x reader #jared padalecki x teen reader #walker #cordell walker x teen #cordell x reader #stella walker #x teen!reader #x teen #x reader #stella #walker x reader #walker x teen!reader #cordell walker x teen!reader

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lazywonderlvnd · 4 years

Note

Imagine Harry learning to play the guitar after the war and Draco finds out when they start dating and is obv a slut for it. Anyway what I'm here to beg for is sexy-guitar-player-Harry smut please and thank

first of all nonners I’m so sorry this took me lit rally 59 years to answer!!!! when I saw it in my inbox last week I was abt to answer n be like yes. this. And then realized it needed to be written and got sidetracked w the first himbo harry installment but here it is now and let me just SAY this trope is my new FAVORITE thing in the world oh my goddddd when I tell u the way I’ve been yelling to glows and cielia abt it 👁👄👁

highly recommend listening to wonderwall when it comes up to Complete the Experience. hope u enjoy ❤️

“I’m sorry, he what?”

“Yeah, he’s really good,” said Weasley. He nodded towards the acoustic guitar hanging on the wall; Draco had taken notice of it the first time he’d seen Harry’s flat but never paid it much mind after that, taking it for decoration, or perhaps an unused gift. “He’ll play if you ask him. He doesn’t like showing off.”

“Which is silly,” Granger said, rolling her eyes. “I’ve told him, just because he’s good at it doesn’t make it showing off. I wish he’d play for people more often.”

“He has literally never mentioned this to me.” He felt utterly stunned and completely cheated. He tried to picture it and couldn’t. “How long’s he been playing?”

“Picked it up after the war. It was kind of funny, actually --” Weasley started saying, but Harry came back into the room -- still pulling his shirt on -- and he broke off, giving Draco a significant look that told him to bring it up.

“Harry,” said Draco imperiously, to which he received two raised eyebrows as Harry fell into his favourite armchair and pushed a hand through his still-damp curls. Draco matched his expression and glanced at the guitar. Harry followed his gaze, looking genuinely confused.

“What, what is it?”

“When were you going to tell me you play?”

“What, guitar?”

“Yes, guitar.”

He shrugged and grabbed for one of the beers on the table, wandlessly magicking the cap off. “I dunno. When it came up, I guess.”

“The way your friends tell it you’re quite good.”

Harry gave Weasley and then Granger a sour look; both of them gave it right back to him, which was, admittedly, amusing.

“I can play all right,” he said vaguely, and took a swig of his drink. It did make some sort of sense, now Draco thought about it -- the tips of Harry’s fingers were far, far too calloused to have been just from casual Quidditch and Auror training.

“You know, Harry, it actually comes off as more pretentious when you act like this,” said Granger. Weasley snorted. Harry glared at her. “Just play for him, won’t you? And us too -- it’s been ages.”

“Yeah, what’s that Muggle song you play sometimes that I like?” said Weasley.

“I dunno, I’ve played a lot of Muggle songs.”

“He means Wonderwall, Harry,” said Granger, grinning. Harry finally smiled too, and although their little Muggle joke was lost on Weasley and himself he was glad to see that it had apparently been the prodding Harry needed to give in. He set his beer back down and went to get the guitar; something about the way he threw the thin and fraying strap over his head, the way his hands went effortlessly to their places, was unexpectedly attractive. The left one curled easily around the neck of the instrument, heavily-roughened fingers finding their odd positions on the strings, something Draco had always thought looked very painful.

He plucked a few chords and then began fiddling with the knobs at the head of the guitar, tuning it in what was clearly the Muggle fashion, which against his will left Draco completely fascinated. Having no musical inclination himself, he could make nothing of the process except that Harry apparently heard the discordant notes in there well enough to be able to fix them, and finally when he brought his thumb down across all six strings it sounded as sweet and clear as if it had been done by magic.

“Course he likes Wonderwall,” Harry said to Granger even as he began playing, fingers shifting and moving and contorting to create the notes while he strummed softly, effortlessly, and the music crawled over Draco’s skin and inside of him. “I remember Dudley listening to it, like, what … summer before sixth year? On the radio constantly.”

“Sounds about right,” said Granger.

Draco had stopped paying attention to what they were saying, though. Either because the music itself had something haunting about its melody or because it was Harry playing it, or perhaps a combination of both, Draco felt a pit of emotion form in his chest to round off the edges of his growing arousal.

And then he started singing, and Draco swallowed very hard. Granger dropped a head onto Weasley’s shoulder and watched with a tender expression, Weasley similarly enamored. Harry had his eyes on his hands for the most part, closing them a few times throughout, looking as comfortable now as he did on a broomstick.

Only three months of official dating had not prepared Draco for the flood of emotions he now felt, yet the most pressing matter had become the semi trapped uncomfortably in his trousers. He wanted those talented fingers in his mouth, to feel the callouses on his tongue and taste Harry on them; he wanted to feel them on the sensitive skin of his inner thighs and hip bones, to have them buried so deeply in his arse that he forgot where he ended and Harry began.

Of course, he had to keep this to himself for the next hour, until he was able to get Granger and Weasley out of the flat. And once he did, he didn’t bother dragging Harry to his bedroom -- Draco pushed him up against the front door that had just closed behind his friends and hauled him into a kiss that he felt Harry grinning into.

“I thought you seemed tetchy,” he muttered, hands dropping to Draco’s hips. “Oasis really does it for you, huh?”

“What the hell is oasis?”

“The band who does the song.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s the band who does it for me.” He kissed Harry again, maybe a little too hungrily, and dug a fist into his side when he started laughing. “Shut up, why the hell didn’t you ever tell me you played?”

Harry pulled his head back, looking at Draco with an arched brow and an infuriating smirk.

“What do you mean, ever? We’ve only been together three months, it didn’t come up.”

“God,” Draco muttered, and now he reached down and pressed his palm against Harry’s cock, pleased to feel how hard he was in spite of his ruthless teasing. “You’re so annoying.”

“Well if I’d known how randy it would make you I might’ve played for you a long time ago.”

Having had quite enough of Harry’s particularly sarcastic brand of wit, he ignored this last and reached for one of his hands, removing it from his own hip and bringing it to his lips. It was extremely satisfying to watch the smirk disappear from Harry’s face when he sucked one of his fingers into his mouth.

“Bit fetish-y, isn’t this?” Harry said breathily, eyes wide as he watched, looking half amused and half awed. In retaliation, Draco took another finger into his mouth and slid his tongue between them, tasting soap and salt, feeling the callouses on the tips of his fingers and letting that sensation grip his insides like an iron fist. “Jesus Christ,” Harry groaned; his free hand went to Draco’s jaw, holding him steady, and with a truly outstanding audacity began fucking Draco’s mouth with his fingers.

They dipped bluntly past his uvula, scraping the back of his throat so he gagged around their intrusion. Saliva built with an excessive speed that had it drooling out of the corners of his lips and coating Harry’s knuckles. Draco closed his eyes and let it happen, opening his throat against the relentless assault and curling his hands in Harry’s shirt just to steady himself.

They were gone too soon and Harry’s mouth replaced them, much gentler but still with a tangible sense of urgency about it.

When he broke away, he said against Draco’s lips, “Like my fingers, do you?”

Draco merely nodded, feeling their wetness against his cheek.

“Then turn around,” said Harry, “and I’ll fuck you with them.”

Draco let out a soft, embarrassing whimper and let Harry spin them around and press him against the door, cheek-first. He undid his flies himself and Harry tugged them down his legs and off his feet, allowing Draco to spread them slightly. Harry’s fingers were there immediately, sliding slick between his cheeks and over his hole. The memory of Harry’s hands on the guitar was still so fresh, his fingers changing chords effortlessly, sacrificing them to blisters and callouses and roughened skin for the music they created, and Draco closed his eyes against a fresh wave of arousal and another pang of emotion.

“You really are incredible,” said Draco, biting back a moan as two of those dexterous fingers slipped inside of him. Harry fucked him with them slowly, carefully, seeking out his prostate and angling for it each time once he’d found it. Draco turned his face to press his forehead against the door, eyes still closed, nails scraping wood. “And I like that song.”

“It’s a good one,” Harry agreed. His hot breath caressed the back of Draco’s neck, fingers pumping, his other hand back at Draco’s waist. “I have a million more I’d love to show you.”

Draco didn’t bother trying to find his voice again: instead he pushed back against Harry’s driving fingers, everything that wasn’t the relentless stabbing against his prostate driven from his mind. His neglected cock slapped against the door with every thrust, the red and irritated head dripping pre-come against the wood. Only half conscious of the decision to do so, he wrapped his hand around it and pulled and squeezed and zeroed in on the bursts of pleasure radiating outwards from inside his body until it all spilled over and he came in great pulses, gasping for breath while Harry kept at it.

The fingers slowed as he reached his peak and began coming down but they didn’t stop, nor was his prostate given much of a break. Harry reinforced his grip on Draco’s waist and kept pumping, a steadier rhythm that nevertheless rubbed and prodded at that little bundle, making his nerves tingle and fizzle and scream out their overstimulation.

“Harry,” he said weakly, knees buckling. “Please …”

It could have been comical the way Harry followed his movement as he slid down the door to the ground, except it wasn’t. It was infuriating, actually, and felt at once like more than he could possibly handle and exactly what he needed. His forehead and his hands went back to the wood, bracing himself as Harry, kneeling behind him, continued fucking his beautiful, merciless fingers and stimulating Draco’s overworked prostate.

He pushed a third one in alongside the other two and Draco was shocked to feel a hot tear leak out of the corner of his eye. Harry crooked them expertly, with all the confidence and surety of someone who had done this a million times, could do it in their sleep, as if it was not the guitar strings but Draco’s body he was strumming now, an instrument fine-tuned to his own particular cadence and rhythm, which he and no one else could play quite right.

Lips parted, hot breath echoing off the door and back into his face, Draco allowed himself to be taken apart with the same ferocious intensity he’d seen Harry use on the guitar. Each stroke brought him back to full hardness, each stab against his prostate made his nerves sing a tormented chorus, drowning out the pain of the wooden floor against his bare knees.

“Shit,” Draco choked out, “I’m gonna come again …”

“Well that’s the idea,” said Harry. His voice was full of that same witty and well-meaning sarcasm Draco liked so much, even when it made him feel like punching him. Snatches of the song came back to him, Harry’s voice when he sang it, the expert shifting of his fingers where they pressed and plucked at the strings like he was making love to them. It was all so very much.

He came a second time without even bothering to touch his cock, because he just didn’t fucking need it. His body thrummed and vibrated like a snapped rubber band while Harry coaxed him along his high and back down again. When he finally pulled his fingers out he leant forward over Draco’s back and kissed the side of his neck, then the corner of his jaw.

“You know you make much lovelier sounds than the guitar, just so we’re clear,” he said, and Draco, with what strength he had left, shoved Harry and watched him fall sideways laughing.

#anna writes #I LOVE THIS TROPE 🗣🗣🗣#drabble #drarry fic

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mm2305 · 3 years

Note

What Ethan & Olivia AU is this? #OpenHeartAU

An eventful encounter

Pairing : Ethan Ramsey x Olivia Valentine || Rating/Genre : Teen+/romance, general || Warnings / Words : none / 2.8k ||Setting : Alternate Universe - Regency Era || Disclaimer : all characters and pictures belong to the rightful owners

Summary : During one of her trips in town, Olivia meets the newly-arrived Dr. Ramsey.

A/N : Let me start by saying that this has been in my inbox for almost a month and I'm so sorry for the long wait. Secondly, this was something completely new to me, since it's set in a different time and universe, but still very fun to write! No beta, so all mistakes are mine. I really hope this comes out good enough :)

Enjoy!

My masterlist

-/-

Somewhere in the England of 1816

Olivia's pov

"Oh come on you little bugger", a young woman sighed exasperated, looking at her reflection in the vanity. She had been trying for the last twenty minutes to gather her long hair with some pins, but it was difficult to contain all of it in them. Finally, she got ready and rushed down the stairs of her home, Edenbrook Manor.

"Mrs Clarke? Where are you?"

"I am in the kitchens Miss Olivia!", the other woman replied.

Olivia followed the stairwell leading to the kitchen and greeted Mrs Clarke, one of the people who worked in her home. She was more than that to her though, since she was the one who practically raised her, her friend and closest confidant. Her father, Ernest Valentine, was a merchant, quite known for his successful business, but was away from home most of the year, coming only a few weeks at a time. Therefore, her mother, Anne Valentine, was left to manage most of the affairs regarding the estate and surrounding grounds they owned. Both did love her dearly, they just didn't have time for her. Since she had no siblings, she was left with no one's company but Mrs Clarke's ,who in her and her family's eyes had become a member of the Valentine family too.

"Do you need anything else from the market Mrs Clarke?"

"No Miss, that's everything we need. Are you sure you want to go, though ?"

Having grown up close to her, Olivia was always helping around the house in whatever ways she could, even though she wasn't expected or needed to do so. Of course, she didn't neglect her occasional music , embroidery and drawing lessons, even though her true passion was biology, anatomy and science. In another world she imagined herself being a doctor, but since that wasn't possible, she just made the best of the situation at home, doing many things to pass her time.

"Of course! It will be a great chance for me to get some fresh air since I have not been out for a while. I promise I will be careful."

"Alright dear. Then you had better go now, it's quite a walk to the market.Who knows, you may meet somebody worth going to a ball with today."

"Not likely Mrs Clarke. And besides, you know I have high standards."

With a slight wave to Mrs Clarke, Olivia took her basket and headed out of the Manor.

----------

After a long, refreshing walk, Olivia reached the local food market. Rows upon rows of products had filled the sides of the road, the smell of flowers, herbs and fresh fruit invading her senses. People moved at their own pace, some slow and others faster, with baskets of their own at hand and doing their shopping. The whole street seemed to have come alive on that warm, autumn afternoon, creating a charming, quaint picture.

In just a few minutes she had gathered everything she needed, her basket full of herbs, vegetables and fruit. Ready to go home, she turned around, towards the end of the market, not noticing the tall man coming her way and colliding with him, the force knocking her down on the ground.

"I am so sorry sir, I did not mean --"

"Forgive me Miss I --", they both started apologizing at the same time. Olivia noticed she was still on the ground and the stranger offered his hand and carefully helped her back on her feet.

Finally looking up at him, she felt her breath catch in her throat.

The stranger was the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on. He was tall with a strong physique. His hair was a dark mahogany brown color, just visible in his hat, leading to his piercing, ocean blue eyes. He had a sharp jawline with high cheekbones and she was sure that his smile would be just as beautiful as the rest of his face.

His warm hand was still holding hers, the gesture sending sparks through her body. The man, noticing he was still holding her hand, cleared his throat and dropped it gently.

"I am deeply sorry, Miss. I hope you are not hurt.", he said in a deep yet gentle voice.

"I am alright, thank you for your assistance Mr..?"

"Ramsey. Ethan Ramsey. And you are?"

"Olivia Valentine, sir, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"The pleasure is all mine. Oh! You dropped your basket!". He immediately bent down to gather the scattered apples, pears and whatever else could be saved.

"Please allow me, you need not do this…", she also kneeled beside him to gather the items, her hand going to catch an apple at the same time as Mr. Ramsey,their fingers briefly touching. They both locked eyes again, the movement making Olivia's cheeks redden in color. Did he feel that too? Looking away from his eyes for the sake of modesty and back at her now half full basket, she realized that she had to start making her way back home soon, if she wanted to make it before dinner. With a small sigh, she got up and dusted her dress,more than a little disappointed that she hadn't had the time to learn anything about Mr. Ramsey.

"Thank you once more Mr Ramsey. I sincerely apologize for falling onto you. If you'll excuse me, I need to return back home. I wish you a pleasant afternoon. ", she smiled softly at him and curtsied briefly before turning her back to him and starting walking. Hmm… I have never seen him before in town. Maybe Mrs. Clarke knows something about him. She decided she would ask Mrs. Clarke for more information when she reached home. Alas, she had not made it three feet away when Olivia heard him coming behind her.

" Ms. Valentine? "

" Yes? ", Olivia turned around curiously looking at him.

" Would you allow me to walk you back to your house? I… It's the least I could do for you after our eventful encounter", he asked with a hint of a smile on his face.

He really is handsome, she thought wordlessly. Was this her chance to get to know the mysterious man better? Was this a chance for a new friendship to bloom? Maybe something more? "Stop getting ahead of yourself Olivia. You just met this man! He may even be married!", The little voice in her mind warned her, but her heart, full of excitement at the prospect of getting to know him better, had already decided.

" I would love to"

------------------------------

Ethan's pov

Ethan was absentmindedly walking across the stone paved streets of the town he had just moved in. Or rather, his new residence was close to this town. Instead of taking his horse, he decided to take a walk from his house to the town, to get a feeling of orientation around this new place. Being prepared and feeling in control, made him feel more confident in himself, particularly since he was not good at social interactions. Being a man of solitude and always focused on his work, made him unwilling to make any meaningless acquaintances, the frivolous events he was often invited to, being of no essence to him. It was because of his work that he decided to move here.

Immersed in his thoughts as he was, he didn't notice the young lady that accidentally ran directly into him. The force of the blow knocked her to the ground, Ethan immediately apologizing and offering his hand to help her back up.

When the young woman looked up at him, he was left speechless.

This lady, whoever she was, was easily the most beautiful woman he had encountered in all the thirty years of his life. She had golden, blond hair that seemed softer than the most expensive silk and a spotless, alabaster skin. Her big, forest green eyes seemed to be able to see right through his soul and her rosy, full lips were in perfect harmony with her features. She was quite shorter than him, her head just reaching his shoulder and he could guess, even through the many layers of clothing, that she had a lean, feminine frame.

Her hand was soft and small in his and that's when he noticed he was still holding it. Clearing his throat to collect himself, he apologized again to her.

"I am alright, thank you for your assistance Mr..?", she asked him, her voice sounding like the most beautiful of melodies.

"Ramsey. Ethan Ramsey. And you are?"

"Olivia Valentine, sir, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Where have I heard that name from though? Catching himself being so entranced in this lady he just met, he allowed his eyes to wander away from her, when he noticed her basket, previously full of products, now scattered on the ground. He set down to gather whatever could be saved, knowing he must seem like a fool for doing what a gentleman would never probably do. All his thoughts flew out of the window, when he felt that spark again from both their fingers closing around an apple. Olivia's cheeks turned in a color close to the apple she was holding, making her seem even more beautiful than before. What is it that has me totally mesmerized by this woman?

To his great displeasure, their brief encounter would have to be cut short, since she had to return back to her house. Wishing him farewell, she began walking away but before he fully thought about what he was about to ask, his feet were carrying him towards her.

"Ms Valentine?"

She turned around, clearly wondering what he wanted to ask from her. "Yes?"

Taking a deep breath he gathered the courage to ask her what he wanted. "Would you allow me to walk you back to your house? I… -he staggered even though he never did before, looking for a reason to convince not only her but himself too as to why he was doing this for someone he just met - It's the least I could do for you after our eventful encounter", he added with a small smile.

For a few seconds that really seemed to stretch into hours, he could see the wheels in her mind turning, before she looked up at him and said the words he so much had come to want to hear.

"I would love to"

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Olivia's pov

Ethan offered her his arm to take and Olivia weaved hers through it, her hand settled at the crook of his arm.

They began walking and for a few minutes no one said anything, a somewhat awkward silence setting over them. Neither of them seemed sure as to what they should say to break the ice. Finally Ethan, with a small cough, began talking to her.

"Do you live far from town, Miss Valentine?"

"My home, Edenbrook Manor, is about an hour and a half away from here."

"Oh! I actually bought a residence that is, apparently, close to your house."

"So you are the new doctor who bought Kenmore Park!"

"Indeed, I am"

"May I ask what made you choose to come here? I have the feeling you have been offered better and perhaps more, financially speaking, beneficial positions in bigger towns or cities."

He didn't hesitate to answer. "I was offered a position in this hospital and I was instantly aware that here, I could be more useful since there are not many doctors willing to work in a more rural area. Besides, I had missed the countryside. Has my arrival become such a popular issue here? ", he raised an eyebrow teasingly.

"Yes and no, Dr. Ramsey." she put emphasis on the Doctor, teasing him back too.

Ethan lowered his eyes, seeming a little sheepish. "Ah well… I could not find it in my heart to correct you, Miss. I am sorry."

Olivia chuckled, waving her hand dismissively. "You do not need to worry about it, I assure you."

"You see, this is a relatively small town and it is rare that something new happens. People have the tendency to talk. Or rather gossip, if I am being honest. But I actually learnt about you, from my maid, Mrs Clarke. I do not really get out of the house a lot."

"May I ask why?", Mr. Ramsey asked. Then as if considering how indiscreet he must seem, he sucked in a breath and turned to her. "I am sorry, Miss Valentine, it was not my place to ask."

For some reason, Olivia found herself not minding. Normally, she would not be interested in having a conversation with a man, knowing that at her age every move was scrutinized by potential suitors. That is why she remained unmarried at the age of four and twenty, much to society's disappointment. She just could not bind herself to a loveless marriage of interest. However, with Ethan, talking was easy and she felt surprisingly comfortable with this man she only met an hour ago.

"Well. I remain unmarried at the age of four and twenty and people like I said before, tend to talk. I find myself uninterested in what they say but it does make everyday life easier, since I do not have to hear my parents and Mrs Clarke trying to convince me to attend balls at every chance.", she rolled her eyes with what she felt was loving exasperation.

"I honestly could not imagine a woman such as yourself not being asked for her hand in marriage", Dr. Ramsey said, his face carefully neutral at her admission.

"It is not that I have not received any proposals, but it is I who refuses. My father is quite successful at his profession and those suitors were clearly interested in my family's wealth, not me."

"Then yours was a wise decision to make, if you allow me to say this, Miss."

Nodding silently, Olivia contemplated asking the question that had been in her mind ever since they began their walk. Oh just do it already Olivia. Before she could think further about it, she blurted out her question.

" How about you, Dr. Ramsey? Is there a wife waiting for you at home?"

"No, actually. Much like your case, I have no interest in people not caring about the important things in a marriage. That is not to say I stand against the institution. But, there has not been the right person in my life, so far."

A small, imperceptible smile graced her lips at his answer.

"I assume you are quite taken with your job, no? Since you moved to a different area, just because you want to help here…", Olivia changed the topic after a moment, her tone more cheerful and her heart longing to hear how life as a physician is.

"Indeed I am. Of course I owe all the skills I have acquired, to my mentor, Dr. Naveen Banerji head of Solomon's Hospital in London and professor at --"

"Edinburgh Medical School.",she finished with something that could only be described as wonder in her eyes.

" But how do you know?", he turned to her, surprised that she had heard of Naveen.

Olivia's eyes lowered to the ground, knowing that what she was about to say, would make him laugh at her.

"I… I study biology, anatomy and science whenever I can. I know it is something impossible for a woman in our times, but if I had the chance, I would love to take a proper apprenticeship and become a physician. Naturally, I cannot help but be informed about everything surrounding the medical world. And Dr. Banerji is one of the best doctors in the country. "

When she reluctantly looked back into the eyes that seemed to call for her, she saw an emotion similar to admiration in them. What for, she could not understand , but it made the butterflies in her stomach flutter excitedly.

" Miss Valentine, I've known you for just about two hours and yet, I can confidently say that your intelligence would make you an excellent physician. Please, do not hesitate to ask me anything if you have questions, it would be my pleasure to answer them for you.", Ethan assured her, his voice sincere and the opposite of what she expected to hear.

Olivia's face lightened up at that and she started excitedly asking him several questions, for the rest of the way to her house. It had been a long time since she had met someone not dismissing her love for medicine and even longer since she sincerely enjoyed talking to another person besides her family.

"Maybe this could finally really be the start of something worth exploring", they both thought, grinning happily for the rest of the way back, perfectly content in each other's company.

-/-

A/N : if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading!

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horansqueen · 3 years

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New Angel - Chapter 1

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☆ written from Niall’s pov ☆ i don’t proofread, I never do, I hate it. ☆ AU comedy/fluff/smut/romance ☆ 2.5k ☆ i accept requests and ideas for this story, so message me in my inbox! ☆ if you want to be notified when this story is updated (or be taken off the update list) CLICK HERE

NIALL

"I'm sorry."

I stared at the girl I spent the last year with, trying to find a glimpse of sadness in her eyes that would tell me there was hope, or that at least, that she felt bad for breaking my heart.

I had met Grace through friends and it had clicked instantly. She was gorgeous, funny and flirty, and as soon as my eyes met hers, I knew there was something between us. I know how cliché it sounded but it never really mattered for me. We did everything together and spent so much time together that I had neglected my friends and family, I knew that. Still, it was impossible for me to regret it : I was certain I would spend my life with her.

"Yea, me too." I replied, clearing my throat as she handed me a box.

I licked my lips and took it, my eyes roaming quickly inside. I noticed a bottle of my perfume, a few pictures of us and a sweater, and when I looked back at her, she got up, inciting me to do the same.

"Look, Niall." she replied as I walked passed the front door before leaning against the frame. "I just want you to know that... you'll always have a special place in my heart."

Great, because that made me feel so much better. My eyes roamed on her face, trying to remember every of her features, as if I could ever forget them anyway. I knew I loved Grace, but now that she was breaking up with me and that I was suddenly losing her, it made me realize just how much I loved her, and that it wouldn't be easy to get over her.

She pushed her brown hair behind her shoulder and sent me a sad smile. I knew I should turn around and leave but I was paralyzed, staring at the girl I loved as she took a step back and slowly closed the door in my face. I thought nothing could make the pain worse but that last move humiliated me even more and I shut my eyes tight, holding my breath for a few more seconds.

I don't know how long it took me but I finally walked down the stairs to the parking and reached my car, letting the box fall in the trunk before sitting in front of the wheel. I breathed in and sighed, leaning my forehead against the wheel as I felt myself tear up. Crying was inevitable but it still pissed me off. I honestly felt like I had given everything to this relationship and somehow, this is what I was getting back, and it was fucking unfair. I shook my head at that thought, knowing that there was nothing fair when it came to love anyway, and finally sat back up and started my car.

I drove home as a few tears fell down and just to make it worse, it started raining. The lights of the city reflected on the rain forming puddles on the cement and it brought so many memories to my brain that I had to wipe the tears off my cheeks. I finally parked but leaned my head against the bench, closing my eyes, trying to stop the pain in my chest without much success. I needed a drink or ten, and I just hoped Louis would want to get drunk with me.

I threw my keys on the counter when I walked in, letting the box fall near the front the door. I heard the tv in the living room, guessing on a football match but when I walked closer, I realized it was actually basketball.

I sat on a couch, grabbing the attention of the two persons sitting on the other one. They both frowned at me but I stared at Louis, shaking my head slightly.

"Neil, what's wrong?" he asked, moving his upper body closer, hiding me from Millie. "Did you cry?"

"Grace broke up with me." I just replied, ignoring his second question.

I knew Louis and Millie since I was a kid. Louis was my best friend, we used to spend our days together, and although I didn't really want to admit it, I tend to follow him in all his crazy plans. One of them was for us to move in together. It didn't sound so bad in itself, but Louis was the messiest person I knew, and I was pretty much the opposite, which made this cohabitation slightly rough sometimes, but it got even worse when Millie moved in with us about a year later. She was not my favorite person in the world, and she didn't enjoy my company much either, but she needed a place to live and I knew she and Louis were close, so I decided to just deal with it. After a while, they started having sex randomly but I couldn't tell you the specific nature of their relationship. If they were dating, they never made it official with anyone else, and I didn't really want to ask.

It's not that Millie was a bad person, but she always made sure we knew her opinions and most of the time, it annoyed me. She had no filter, which was something she had in common with Louis, and she didn't care what people thought about her. Now that I thought about it, it was not surprising at all that they got along together so well.

"Shit, mate, I'm sorry."

I was tired to hear that. What would sorrys bring me anyway? Why did every time something bad happened, all people could say was that they were sorry? How was that helping in any way?

"Well, I'm not."

"Millie, come on." Louis replied in a soft tone, turning to her.

"No seriously," Millie continued, moving closer to the coffee table to grab her beer. "She was pretty much the most annoying person I knew. Even more annoying than you, Horan."

"Don't call me that." I mumbled, making her shrug.

"Whatever. You're better off without."

I frowned, shaking my head as I stared at her, noticing Louis getting up and walking away. "Are you serious?"

"Very!" Millie chuckled without amusement. "She was always here, talking about how pretty and skinny she was, how rich she was, and how everyone wanted her. She kept talking about all the men she dated or fucked before you and how horrible it was to be so popular."

"I smell a hint of jealousy." I replied with a frown.

"I wouldn't touch you with a six feet pole, Horan." she replied, raising her eyebrows as a small smile appeared on her lips.

I raised my nose with a low groan, making her laugh, and I moved my hand up, showing her my middle finger.

"Enough love display, kids." Louis replied when he came back, handing me a beer.

I took a sip of it and leaned against the couch, turning my head to the tv but not really watching the match. I didn't even notice when someone turned down the volume and I swallowed hard as the face of my ex girlfriend appeared in my head. My heart twisted in my chest as I tried to stop the tears and finally brought my free hand up, pressing my thumb anf finger against my eyes, breathing in and out slowly but deeply.

I couldn't believe it was over and I didn't want to accept it. We made plans together, we were perfect for each other... how could she just throw away all of that without any remorse or regret?

"This is the worst break-up I've been through." I admitted, pushing my fingers harder on my eyes and shaking my head.

"You always say that." Millie replied, a bit annoyed, making my eyes flutter open. She got up and my eyes followed her as she walked to the door. I turned around, my gaze still on hers, and frowned a bit.

"Can't you just, I don't know, feel sorry for me or something?" I argued, realizing as I was saying it that I actually hated when people actually felt sorry for me.

"You're asking me for pity?" she asked with a chuckle, making me roll my eyes. "Seriously, good riddance. I'm glad I won't have to see her annoying face every fucking morning."

She put the box filled with my stuff at my feet and sat in front of it as my eyes roamed on the content.

"Morning? You never wake up before noon." I argued, making her smile sightly.

"Shut up!"

She started rummaging through my things, placing a lock of her hair behind her ear before taking the stuff out. She smelled my perfume before putting it on the coffee table and when she grabbed the pictures, she looked at all of them quickly before sighing.

"Okay, garbage."

"What? No!" I replied with a frown, bending down to snatch the pictures from her hands. "I'm keeping those!"

"So you can stare at them for hours and cry on what you lost?" Millie pointed out, moving on her knees to grab the pictures from my hands again. "No. Trust me, I know how to handle a beak up."

"Millie, babe, this isn't your break up, it's Niall's."

She turned around to look at Louis for a few seconds and finally turned back to me. She frowned slightly, her eyes getting smaller as she was thinking, and finally, she shook her head.

"Alright, compromise." she proposed, sitting on her legs. "You can keep two, but you can't bring them in your room. Oh, and you need to delete the ones in your phone, too."

"Who died and made you queen?" I asked rudely, getting slightly annoyed.

"Queen? No I'm the king here, literally." she argued, making me chuckle despite myself.

I kept silent for a few minutes, wondering if it was actually a good idea or not and after a while. I took two pictures and handed them to her. Louis showed me his hand and raised his eyebrows and with a sigh, I gave him my phone.

"Just delete the whole folder, but don't look at the pictures." I quickly said, making Louis smirk.

"Anyway you can't keep nudes from an ex, that's just plain wrong." We both turned to Millie and I raised my eyebrows as she shrugged. "What? I don't like her but that doesn't mean she deserves that."

I shook my head as Louis handed me my phone back and sighed again. "Are we done now?" I asked, feeling my heart break even more as Millie searched through my box. "I really need something stronger than that." I added, swallowing the last drops of my beer.

Louis got up again and sent me a sad smile. "I'm on it."

"Oh my god, I love that sweater so much!" Millie let out a bit louder, taking it out of the box.

"Keep it, it's yours."

She sighed, raising her nose up and shaking her head as she stared at it. "It doesn't fit me, Niall. None of your clothes do, you know that."

No, I didn't know that. In fact, I had never taken the time to even think about it, but I just shrugged and leaned against the couch. I couldn't stop thinking about Grace and how my life seemed to be over. It was stupid, it was not the first break up I was going through and I knew that pain would leave with time, but it was tough to be rational at that moment, and when Louis handed me a glass of what smelled like vodka, I swallowed all of it quickly.

"Niall, mate, slow down." Louis said in a soft tone, sitting back on the couch as Millie grabbed a glass of wine from his hands.

"Lou, let him. That bitch just dumped him, he clearly deserves to get pissed." she pointed out gently as I filled my glass again.

"Thank you, pet." I smiled, taking an other sip.

"I hate when he calls me that." Millie mumbled near Louis, making him smile and press his hand against his mouth to hide it.

My lips curled into a grin too but I just chuckled and she drank everything in her glass before getting up and walking to the kitchen. She came back with the wine bottle and filled her glass again before turning to me.

"Okay, we're all getting drunk tonight."

Louis grabbed a glass and filled it with vodka too, bringing it to clink it against Millie's. I started at them for a few seconds and finally moved closer to hit my glass against theirs, too, approving of the proposition. It took less than two hours for all of us to be completely pissed, but I realized that the more I drank, the sadder I was getting and when Millie straddled Louis to make out with him, I couldn't take my eyes off of them. It made me think of the first time I had sex with Grace at first, and then, it reminded me of the first time I told her I loved her. She was sitting on my lap and when her eyes had met mine, I knew it was the right time to tell her. I remembered the way her fingers felt on my cheeks, and how good her lips felt against mine.

I hated that feeling inside me and I had no idea how to get rid of it. I grabbed my phone and looked at the last text message I had received from her, earlier in the day. 'We need to talk' were the only words she had sent and every books and movies were right about that : those were the four most horrible words in the world. I blinked a few times, trying to see the words better, but I was clearly too drunk for that and I quickly typed something without thinking.

'I miss you baby'

I sent it quickly without an ounce of regret and finally got up, almost falling back on the couch as the room started spinning around me.

"Okay guys, I'm going to bed now."

It caught their attention and they watched me walk slowly to the hall, holding myself on every furniture on my way.

"Hey, Niall." I heard Millie's voice before turning to look at her.

She was up now and I sighed as Louis got up too. "Yea?"

"Don't text her."

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. "Too late."

I just walked to my room and opened the door when I finally heard Louis' voice coming from the hall.

"It'll be better tomorrow, mate."

Just the thought of doing everything I used to do daily but without Grace in my life seemed like hell and I shut my eyes tight, trying to keep the tears in. How was I going to keep on living my life without her? How can anyone eat, sleep, work, have fun, or even breathe without the love of their life?

"Yea, I doubt that."

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