#i’m so excited for the summer I can’t contain it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

asahicore · 1 year

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we’ll always have this summer - psh (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact pairing. sunghoon x fem!reader synopsis. Your mom ruins your summer plans by sending you to the equestrian center your grandmother owns in the south of France, wanting you to spend some time away from the city and take a break from your med studies. Although you’d been determined to spend the worst time ever there, you soon find out that maybe the cold but cute horse nerd next door who doesn’t want to talk to you might actually turn this summer into the best one of your life. genre. summer au, strangers to mutual dislike to friends to lovers ig, city girl x country boy type beat, mainly fluff and smut but also angst cause i love pain word count. 25.9k a/n. hi sisters i'm super excited to repost this, it was really fun rereading and editing it, and i hope that all of you who had enjoyed reading it last summer will still like it this time around and that those of you who hadn't read it will enjoy it now <3 i had also posted an sfw version, so if anyone would like that too, pls lmk! ok thats it let me know what u think love you bye

Sunghoon was going to have a very normal, uneventful summer. He would take a very much needed break from his studies and take care of the equestrian center he lives in, letting his parents take a breather and enjoy their summer. He’d wake up early and do everything he needed to, then spend the afternoon on horseback or sleeping in a random field. It’d be a routine his body is used to and likes, and he’d be able to let his worries go for a while. But then, you came along.

You, who’d had big plans for the summer. You, who should’ve been going on a two-week vacation with your friends to Mallorca as a treat for having aced your second-year medical school final exams and as a celebration for getting an internship in the hospital of your choice. You, who would’ve done nothing for those two weeks but sunbathe, read trashy romance novels, and get margarita-drunk at 2pm, and would’ve spent the rest of the summer hanging out with your friends in Paris, your home, and taking day trips to random French cities. This summer would be your last fun, carefree summer before you were thrown into real semi-adult life, and you were going to make the best of it. That’s what you had planned; to your utmost despair, your mom seemed to have other ideas in mind.

“We’ve gone over this a thousand times now, sweetie. You’re going. It’ll be good for you.”

“You know what will be good for me?” you say, close on her tail as you descend the stairs. “Relaxing and having fun with my friends for two weeks. Not cleaning horse manure and having to walk ten kilometers to get service.”

“It’ll be one or two kilometers at most, dear, not ten.”

“Ugh!” you groan ostentatiously. Your mother only shoots you a don’t-be-so-dramatic look. You glare back at her.

“It’ll be good for you,” she repeats, turning back to whatever was occupying her in the kitchen before you started arguing with her as you plop down on one of the stools at the center island. “You’ve seen neither your grandmother nor the countryside in ages, so it’ll be a nice change. What’s more, they say the best doctors are the ones who’ve done different jobs, you know.”

“Who’s ever said that…” you mutter under your breath, a clear look of distaste on your face. “But anyway, I see Mamie every Christmas at Auntie’s in Perpignan, and even if I didn’t, whose fault is it I never go to the countryside? You never bring me there.”

Your mother lifts her head and looks at you. “I’m too busy to make the journey all the way there. You’ve seen it, there’s two trains and two buses, I can’t do all that. Which is why we settle for Marseille. Direct train, easy. You, on the other hand,” she says, pointing to you with her wooden spoon, “will have plenty of time this summer.”

“Yeah, time I could’ve spent on a beach in Spain or with my friends here!” You know you’re being annoying, but you can’t help it. You really want to go to Mallorca.

She sighs. “I just need you to trust me on this one, honey. You’ll have tons of other summers to do all that. Your grandmother is getting old, so I want you to have at least some memories with her before… you know. I know it’s our fault you didn’t see her more often, so this is our way of making up for it!”

Your father walks in the kitchen, materializing out of nowhere as he often does. “Your mother’s right, you know.” They both peer down at you, and you know then you really don’t get a say in this. “I had an amazing bond with my grandfather, and I want for you to have something similar with your grandmother. She’s the only grandparent you’ve got left, and I promise you, you don’t want to let that go to waste.” You still don’t look fully convinced, so he adds, “Plus, you already get along well, right? You always talk lots when you see each other at Christmas.”

Your father does have a point. You know the problem isn’t being with your grandmother, anyway. Truth be told, you were quite looking forward to spending more time with her. She had a great sense of fashion, and you were sure she had many stories to tell you. It was the fact that you had to spend your summer in a godforsaken town of Southern France where the nearest town was seven kilometers away and the nearest city almost a forty-minute drive. Where you lived in Paris, you had everything you needed in a five-minute walk radius, and you just needed to hop on the Metro or the train to go anywhere else. And it was an equestrian center, of all places. You didn’t even like horses.

“Also,” your mother starts, dragging out the vowel, “the family that lives in the house next door has a boy your age. I heard he’s cute.” She wiggles her eyebrows and you groan at her, which just makes your parents laugh more. You don’t want to stereotype, but you highly doubt a boy who lives in an equestrian center in the middle of God-knows-where is anywhere as handsome as the boys you see everywhere in the capital city. Hot people live in cities; to you, that’s always been a fact.

And as if a stupid boy could make this any better anyway.

Your mother wasn’t lying when she said the journey was long. You took the Metro from your apartment to the train station, then a rapid train to Perpignan, a regional train to Argelès, and a bus to the town of Laroque-des-Albères. And that wasn’t even it - there could’ve been a second bus, but your grandmother had arranged for the neighbors’ son to come and pick you up and drive you to the small commune named La Pierrerie where the equestrian center was.

To your dismay, there was another thing your mother had been right about; the neighbors’ son being cute. When you get off the bus, you look around the almost empty parking spot with no idea of who you’re supposed to look for. But he must see your lost expression and all your luggage and assume you’re the one he had come to pick up, so he calls out your name. Your head snaps towards the direction of the voice, and the moment your eyes settle on him, you have to hold yourself from gaping at him like a dead fish. For someone who supposedly spends his weekends and vacations outside, taking care of horses, cleaning stalls and doing handiwork, his features are… delicate. The perfect blend of sharp and soft - a round face contrasted by a knifelike jaw, plump lips, his eyebrows forming a straight line over his almond-shaped eyes. But you find roughness on his face is in the crease of his eyebrows as he peers down at you. You haven’t done anything yet, but he already clearly disapproves of you.

There’s a scowl on his face - he may be pretty, but he’s definitely not welcoming. You walk towards him, dragging your luggage behind you, and he doesn’t move to help you until you reach the car, and finally he opens the trunk and hauls one of your suitcase in.

“Thank you,” you breathe, looking up at him, “um?”

A beat passes as your eyes lock, and he looks so bored you think he might not even bother to give you his name, but thank God he does. “Sunghoon.”

You decide not to let his rudeness get to you and put on a bright smile, but by the time you’re done saying “nice to meet you,” he’s already gotten in the driver’s seat. He starts the car without another word, and your efforts at any sort of conversation are so fruitless that you give up after two minutes of asking questions that are only met with two-word sentences. You can only hope that his family isn’t as unfriendly as he is, otherwise you’d be in for one hell of a summer.

When you arrive in La Pierrerie, it’s almost nine p.m., and you’re exhausted from your long journey and from carrying around such heavy suitcases. Still in complete silence, Sunghoon takes two of your bags and heads towards what you can only assume is your grandmother’s house. You go to follow him, but you soon notice your grandmother and another woman, who you guess is Sunghoon’s mother, sitting at a table, sipping on some lemonade. As soon as they see you arrive, they rush towards you (well, the woman does - your grandmother walks as fast as she can), helping you with the rest of your baggage. They kiss you on both cheeks as a greeting, starting from the right but you’re used to starting from the left, which almost makes your lips bump into each other. Thankfully, they laugh it off, and you make sure to remember the local custom to avoid future potentially awkward encounters.

The woman introduces herself as Mrs Park and tells you she lived next-door to your grandmother, just like you’d guessed. She says that she’s happy to meet you and hopes that you had a nice trip and that you weren’t too tired for the meal she and your grandmother had prepared for tonight. You like her instantly - her kind eyes and warm smile make you feel at home right away.

Your grandmother hugs you too, and you had to admit it felt nice seeing her after such a long time. Such a sweet welcome revives you a bit, and a nagging voice in your head tells you, see, this isn’t that bad, this summer might be good after all, but you quickly shut it down. Your stubborn nature wants you to hate this for at least a little bit, especially after the excruciating car ride you just had to sit through. You won’t show it to your hosts, obviously, because you want to be respectful, but you can at least scowl and curse your parents when nobody’s looking.

There’s no time for awkward silence and looking back and forth between the two women because as soon as the greetings are over, Mrs Park announces she’ll go heat up the food and get the last things ready while your grandmother shows you around her home, which would be yours for the next two months and a half, and lets you unpack for a bit.

Your grandmother’s house is on two floors. The ground floor is basically one big room, which the front door leads directly into. There’s the kitchen, the dining room and the living room. It’s all very open and bright, and you can tell it must be very warm when the sunlight poured directly through the large windows into the room at the right time of day. It’s simply decorated, with furniture that probably hasn’t been updated in a while but that is well maintained and looks cozy enough. Black-and-whites and photographs of fuzzy quality are hung on the wall of the dining room and you’re eager to take a closer look at them later on.

Upstairs are two bedrooms and the bathroom, as well as a mezzanine that’s a few steps lower than the rest of the floor and that looks over the living room. This is where your grandmother keeps her books and her trophies from her past very successful horse riding career. There are a couple armchairs in the corner and a window to bring more light in, and you’re sure this would make an amazing reading nook for late evenings or stormy afternoons.

Your room is not much more than a double bed, a chest of drawers, a cupboard to hang your clothes in and a few empty shelves. Your grandmother had told you you were welcome to bring any kind of decoration you wanted to make this room yours for the summer, so you’d taken with you a few posters and framed pictures as well as some babbles you liked looking at. She’d picked out some daisies from her garden and made a bouquet out of them, livening up the vase on your bedside table.

She sits on your bed as you put your clothes away (which you had brought so many of, you weren’t sure there’d be enough room to put them all in) and tells you how she’d come to live here with the Parks. This is something you like about her - she has many stories to tell, each more fascinating than the other, and she’s always willing to tell them.

Your grandmother had actually grown up not too far from here, on the other side of town. Her parents had signed her up for lessons every Wednesday afternoon for a few years, until her instructor recognised her potential and told her she could ride professionally if she wanted. So, she started having two-hour lessons four times a week. When she started winning local, then regional, then national championships, she moved to Perpignan to be taught by more qualified instructors in a more renowned riding club.

Years forward, she got pregnant and her career as a rider was over. When her kids were old enough, she got a job as an instructor and even managed a few athletes of the club in Perpignan, but she continued to visit her old club in Laroque once in a while, as she always did throughout her career. She’d seen it wear down and lose customers over the years to the point that at the end of the nineties, it was under threat of closing down. Her old teacher had long passed and her son and his wife had taken over. This son, who was a bit older than your grandmother, had worked there his whole life, but it wasn’t what he wanted to do - as the only son, he’d had no choice but to stay and take care of the club. However, he hadn’t wanted it to close that way, and he was still desperate to keep the club alive, especially because his own son truly loved it and wanted to take over and manage it once he was done with high school.

Your grandmother, with more money than she needed from her successful career and the inheritance she got from her husband’s passing, offered to buy the club from the Parks and manage its finances while they took care of the horses and of lessons. Her only condition was that she could move in in the other house on the property that wasn’t inhabited and needed a few renovations. They agreed immediately.

Mr Park graduated from high school in 1998, got married to the now Mrs Park in 2000, and they had their first child, Sunghoon, in 2002 - the same year as you. His parents moved out to the city and got new jobs that they liked a lot more while the club, thanks to your grandmother’s donations and Mr and Mrs Park’s hard work, prospered once again. It did help that an Olympic rider sometimes helped out with lessons and gave out advice for aspiring athletes.

And now, here you are, twenty years later, visiting her for the first time since you were probably six. You don’t have many memories from those few times you’d been here, so it was all new to you. Especially that Sunghoon boy, whom your grandmother was sure you would get along with based on how chummy you were back in 2008. When you were both six. You didn’t have the heart to tell her how he had been with you in the car.

“Sunghoon’s a bit shy, but once you get to know him, he’s a really good kid. Very passionate and hardworking. So is his sister Yeji, but she’s got different ambitions,” your grandmother muses.

“Oh yeah? What does she want to do?” you ask, genuinely interested, as you try to somehow fit another t-shirt into one of the drawers. You’d started out by folding them nicely but you’d soon given up and started stashing them into the corners.

“She wants to become a professional rider. Says she wants to become like me,” she explains with a small chuckle. “Well, she’s definitely got what it takes. I got her a spot in that bigger club in Perpignan I told you about, so she goes there after school twice a week, but she still trains here with me every weekend.”

“You give her lessons?” you ask, some surprise in your voice, which makes your grandmother laugh.

“What, you think I’m too old?” she jokes and you shake your head rapidly, but she doesn’t take any offense to it. “I can’t stand for hours and shout like I used to, but I can sit in the center of the riding hall and watch, then tell her what she needs to work on and what she’s doing well. She says it helps her, so I’m happy to do it,” she adds with a shrug. You nod as you open another drawer and decide this one will be for your underwear.

“What about Sunghoon?” You can’t help but ask, a bit curious about him. You doubted you could really chalk up his impoliteness to shyness, but you could still listen to what your grandmother had to say about him.

“He’s more like his dad, wants to take after the club. But he’s a very decent rider, too. If his sister hadn’t said she wanted to go pro so early on, I’m sure he would’ve. You know one thing that’s great about getting old?” she asks suddenly.

“No?”

“You observe people a lot more, and you understand them a lot more too. Well, now that I think about it, it might be just me,” she says, making you chuckle. “I don’t have a lot going on in my life, so I have more time to be nosy and see what others are up to. He’d never admit it, I don’t think, that he gave up on a potential riding career for his sister. He’s the type to make quiet sacrifices, and he loves his sister to death. He’d rather take over the club and watch her be happy than the opposite.”

You nod, an approving expression on your face. “Sounds like a good guy,” you say honestly, surprised that someone supposedly so kind could also be so rude.

“He is. Handsome, as well, by the way, as I’m sure you’ve noticed,” she adds, a knowing smile playing on her lips, but you just roll your eyes playfully.

“That’s what mom said,” you reply, not wanting to admit that they are both right on the matter of Sunghoon’s handsomeness.

Sunghoon’s the one who opens the door when you and your grandmother knock. His expression when he sees you is the same as earlier, but you don’t have the time to ponder over his behavior, because quickly enough, two figures appear behind him. He steps to the side, letting enough space for you to come in, his harsh gaze never once leaving your face. You turn your attention to the figures, namely his father and a young girl who you guess is Yeji, and, thank God, they’re looking at you with wide smiles.

“You must be Y/N!” his father beams, and you nod, returning his smile and saying hi. He kisses you on both cheeks, and this time you remember to start from the right. “Welcome. We’re very happy to have you here, aren’t we, Sunghoon?”

He seems oblivious to his son’s clear distaste of you as he loops an arm over his shoulders, happily shaking one of them under his grasp. “Right,” Sunghoon says, voice monotone. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you reply with a slightly confused tone - what the hell was his deal? Usually, whatever energy someone gave you, you’d give it back to them. You’d have no problem being as rude to Sunghoon as he was to you if only his family didn’t seem so nice.

“I’ll go help Mom in the kitchen,” he announces and walks away. His father turns back to you and gives you an apologetic smile.

“Don’t mind him, he’s just shy. He’ll warm up to you eventually.” You nod, saying it’s okay.

Yeji then takes a step towards you, introducing herself as she goes in for the usual two kisses on the cheeks. “Hi, I’m Yeji!”

“Hi, so nice to meet you!”

“Me too, I’m really happy you’re here! It’ll be nice being with another girl,” she says, gesturing towards her oblivious brother with a tilt of her head. It takes a lot more effort to be nice than to be rude, you think, side-eyeing Sunghoon in your head.

“Are there not a lot of girls that come here for lessons?” you ask as she leads you inside the house, showing you where to take off your shoes and jumper.

“There are, but they only come here once a week and stay for a few hours, so it’s not the same. I’m stuck with my anthropoid of a brother most of the time,” she says, lowering her voice to make sure only you can hear what she says. You both laugh at her diss; nothing like bonding over hating boys with another girl. You can already tell you’re going to like her.

You ask if there’s anything you can do to help, but the Parks tell you to not worry about anything and sit down. You and Yeji join your grandmother who’s already sitting at the dinner table, and the three of you chat, or rather, you and Yeji chat while your grandmother listens. Or maybe she isn’t listening, you’re not sure.

Yeji is in her first year of high school. The prestigious riding club she is being taught at doubles as a school, so that’s where she’s been studying for the past few years, and she boards there as well, coming home every weekend unless she’s got important competitions coming up, in which case she stays there for a few weeks. Competition season is about to start, so she’ll be spending most of her time there this summer.

“And do you like it there?”

She looks slightly taken aback by your question, as if she’s not quite used to being asked about that. “I mean, yeah, yeah, I do. It’s nice being able to ride so often, and not having the stress of needing to figure out what I want to do next. But it is… you know,” her voice gets quieter, “a lot of pressure sometimes.”

Sunghoon walks in then, plates and cutlery in hand, and starts setting the table. Yeji’s face lights up at her brother’s arrival, using it to change the topic. “Sunghoon is studying to become a vet. He’s finished his two years of preparatory classes, so now he’s going to a vet school in Toulouse.”

He glares at his sister, but she doesn’t pay him any mind. “He graduated top of his class, you know.”

“Why are you telling her about me?” he interrupts.

Yeji just shrugs. “I’m telling her about us.”

“Well,” he says, putting down a plate in front of you and a fork and knife on each side of the plate, “she doesn’t need to know about me.” You can’t see his face but the cold tone of his voice and his presence right behind you are enough to send shivers down your spine. What the hell is his deal?, you wonder.

You look at Yeji, a confused look on your face, and she rolls her eyes as a dismissal of her older brother’s behavior. “Don’t ask me, cause I don’t know what his problem is, either,” she says, and you can’t help but chuckle.

Mrs and Mr Park walk in then, bringing in the main dish of duck confit as well as roast potatoes, vegetables and some bread. Mrs Park gives you the biggest chunk of meat and a load of sides, saying you must be famished after such a long trip even though you tell her you’d brought things to snack on. She says she’d hesitated between cooking Korean food or a typical French Southwestern dish but had opted for the latter, wanting to welcome you properly in the region. You thanked her and told her it looked amazing.

When everyone is served, you wish each other ‘bon appétit’ and start eating. You’re chewing on your first mouthful of duck and potatoes when Mrs Park asks you what you study. “Your grandmother said you were a med student?” she asks with a smile. Everyone looks at you except for Sunghoon, who only has eyes for his food.

You nod, waiting to swallow before answering, and Mr Park tuts his wife for not letting you eat. “I am. I passed my second year,” you say, earning yourself some congratulations, “and I’m starting my residency in a hospital in Paris next semester.”

“Do you know what part of the hospital you’ll be in?” Mr Park asks.

“We get to do turns, so we can see what we like. We give our school our top five choices, and then they put us in three departments for three months each, and then choose our favorite one based on the offers we get for the summer. I’m in the children’s ward first, then cardiology, then reeducation. We’ll also get to watch over surgeries.”

He nods, humming at your words. “And is that what you want to do later? I mean, work in one of those departments?”

“I’ve got time to change my mind, so I guess it depends how much I like being at the hospital, but I think I’d rather have my own cabinet after some time. I feel like overtime, you build more of a relationship with people, and it’s a lot less stressful, too,” you add with a chuckle.

Mr Park smiles and nods again. “Ah, I see. That’s nice. And would that be in Paris?,” he asks, and this time, it’s his wife that tells him to leave you alone, but you say it’s okay.

“Probably. It’s the city I know best, but nothing is set in stone.”

“You should come here!” Mrs Park perks. “Most people who live here are quite old - no offense, Nadine - ” (“None taken,” your grandmother says with a smile), but we’ve only got two doctors, and one is probably retiring in the next six to ten years.”

“You tell me to leave her alone, and then you tell her to move here,” Mr Park mutters, earning himself a small slap on the arm. They start bickering, and your grandmother just sighs and shakes her head.

“Young love,” she says, making everyone laugh. Even Sunghoon cracks a smile, and you get a glimpse of his dimples. As soon as he catches your gaze, his smile drops, and you turn your eyes away, your cheeks heating up. Yeji starts a new topic and soon enough you’re all chatting again. If it wasn’t for Sunghoon making it very clear he didn’t want you here, you’d already feel at home, just sitting at this dinner table.

When dinner is over, you insist on clearing the table and doing the dishes, saying you felt bad not doing anything. “I need to earn my keep,” you tell Mrs Park with a smile.

She laughs and says, “Oh, no need to worry about that, with Sunghoon showing you the ropes the next few days, you definitely will.”

Sunghoon perks up at the mention of his name. “What’s this about?” he asks, that crease still in his eyebrows. You find yourself wanting to stroke them with your thumbs and brush that frown away, but you quickly snap out of it. He may have a pretty face, but from what you’ve seen, that’s about all there is.

Mrs Park lets out a small puff of air through her nose. “We’ve talked about this, dear. You’re showing Y/N around the club tomorrow and Monday. It’s so you know how everything works before summer lessons start,” she explains, turning towards you.

“Why does it have to be me, though?” Sunghoon almost whines, and you want to scoff at him.

“Because your father and I said so,” his mother says, ending the conversation there, and you’re reminded of your own parents.

Sunghoon looks at you and frowns, so you raise your eyebrows back at him. It wasn’t your fault you were here or that his parents had designated him to show you around, so there was no reason you should make yourself small or apologetic for him. He scoffs and looks away. “Just be outside by eight a.m. tomorrow morning, okay?”

He doesn’t let you answer, just gives you one last hard look and walks away.

“Why are you wearing a dress?” Sunghoon asks as soon as you step outside the next morning.

“Good morning to you too, Sunghoon,” you reply sarcastically. You roll your eyes when he doesn’t say anything, just stands there, arms crossed over his chest, so you add, “Because it’s going to be hot today. And because it’s pretty.”

“This is an equestrian center, not a fashion show. You won’t be comfortable. Go put on a t-shirt and some shorts or some leggings. And wear sneakers, not sandals, Christ.”

You scoff and mirror his posture. “You don’t get to tell me what to wear, you know.”

He lets out a dry chuckle and rolls his eyes, a disbelieving smile on his face. “This might be a holiday for you, because it’s sunny and there’s nature everywhere, but this is work we’re gonna be doing. So, for your own sake, wear the right kind of clothes. But if you want to get horse saliva on your dress or step in horse shit wearing those shoes, be my guest.”

You glare at him for a few seconds, realizing that he’s right, and huff out an annoyed “fine,” stomping back into your grandmother’s house. “Be quick!” he calls after you.

You come back out five minutes later, wearing a tank top you usually use for sleeping, a pair of denim shorts and old sneakers your mother had told you to pack. “Took you long enough,” Sunghoon says, a true ray of sunshine, but you decide it’s better to ignore him. He barely talked to you yesterday, but now that it’s just the two of you and he has to, his words are somehow more annoying than his silence.

You stare at him unfazed and ask, “So, what’s first?”

He raises his eyebrows, seemingly surprised, but answers anyway. “Right. Follow me.” He heads towards a part of the farm that is attached to the riding hall and that your grandmother had pointed out yesterday evening as the reception and office area.

Sunghoon fishes a keyholder out of his jean pocket and slides open the door using one of the many keys he has. He goes to stand in front of a postboard and points to it. “This has the daily and weekly schedule on it. It’s a routine, so things don’t change much, but when they do, we add a post-it to the board. For example, the blacksmith is coming next Thursday to check horseshoes. That’s a post-it. Today, we’re cleaning out all the stalls and adding fresh straw. We do that every Monday, so it’s on the schedule. No post-it.”

“Right. That makes sense,” you nod. “Is that all we do today?”

“We do rounds first, but basically, yeah, because cleaning takes a long time. And Monday is technically our day off. No one comes in for lessons so we use that free time to clean out the stalls.”

You nod and Sunghoon chuckles at you, but you don’t have time to question him about it because he’s already off and you have no choice but to follow him. He leads you to a part of the farm on the other side of the courtyard and pulls out another key, pushing the door open to a wide three-and-a-half-wall room with rings attached to the walls every few meters. Three and a half because behind that space on each side are stalls, as Sunghoon points out.

“This is the prep room, where we get the horses ready before a lesson.”

“What do you do to get them ready?” you ask, looking around the room.

“You clean their coat and their hooves, brush out any tangles in their manes and tails, then saddle and bridle them. The club saddlery is over there,” he says, pointing to a door on your right. “Horse owners have their own stuff in lockers in another room.”

Apparently, you’re not checking out the saddlery today, because Sunghoon is already walking over to the stalls.

“Hi everyone,” he greets softly. You follow him closely as he walks on one side of the stables, petting each horse as he walks past them or peering over the door to see how the sleeping ones are doing, and then does the same thing on the other side. He greets each horse by name, and even though it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he remembers each and every one of them, it still does. You tell him exactly that, and he chuckles.

“What would you think of a teacher that doesn’t know their students’ names? This is kind of the same,” he explains. He shows you the stacks of hay and straw at the end of the stables, and explains that they bring it here from the fields every once in a while because it’s more convenient, and that this is what you’ll be using later.

When he’s checked that everything is okay, he opens the door on the other side of the room leading outside. On your right stands a huge pile of manure, and you can’t help but make a stank face at the odor hitting you right in the nostrils. Sunghoon chuckles again (can he please stop chuckling at you for no reason?) and reassures you by saying they’re emptying it soon. “The farmers use it for their crops,” he explains.

On your left, there’s another barn that you guess hosts more horses. He gets out yet another key and pushes the door wide open. Light fills the barn instantly, making the dust particles in the air visible, and you hear a few grunts and huffs from the horses - of annoyance at Sunghoon waking them up or of happiness at seeing him, you’re not yet qualified enough to say.

There are two other smaller, one-sided stables next to the riding hall where he takes you and does his rounds again. When he’s all done, you follow him to the riding hall where he opens two doors on each side, that way you can walk through it to get to the pastures in the back rather than walk around the whole center, and takes down the electric cables that serve as an entrance to the pastures. He doesn’t explain any of this, however, so you sort of have to guess. Wordlessly, you head back to the last stables you were in and there, he throws a bunch of what you think are harnesses at you.

“What are these?” you ask dumbly, looking at the thing in your hand.

“They’re halters,” he says, and when you just stare wordlessly, he adds, talking as if it were obvious, “you put them around the horse’s head so you can take them places?”

“Right. Can you show me how to put one on?”

He sighs but obliges; he doesn’t have much of a choice anyway. Not your fault that he’s lived here all his life whereas you’ve encountered a horse maybe three times in your twenty years of life.

He demonstrates how to put a halter on and watches over you as you practice it on an old and tired-looking white horse. When you manage to do it somehow quickly, he says, “there you go,” and you’re surprised to not hear any sarcasm in his voice. However, when he pats the horse’s forehead, you have a feeling the praise was more directed towards her than you.

You walk side-by-side to the pastures, you with the white horse, whose garrot reaches your shoulder, and Sunghoon leading a small pony in each hand. They have to walk quickly to keep up with his strides and you can’t help but laugh at their cute swaying hips.

“How old is she?” you ask Sunghoon, head tilting towards the horse you’re walking with.

A soft smile cracks on Sunghoon’s lips, perhaps the first smile you’ve seen on him today. “That’s Nellie,” he answers quietly, looking at the horse in question. “She’s turning 20 this December. We were only born a few days apart.”

“Wow, so you grew up together, that’s pretty cool,” you say honestly, and Sunghoon’s eyes settle on you for a few seconds, eyebrows raising a bit as if surprised by your words.

“Yeah, it is,” he says, looking back in front of him. “My parents taught me how to horse ride with her. And she’s the only horse that belongs to the club whose papers actually state that I’m her owner. All the others have my parents’ name or the club’s on theirs.”

“Ah, so she’s your horse,” you say, looking at Nellie and smiling. You’d have imagined a much taller, handsome and dark-haired horse for him, but this somehow matches as well. It makes Sunghoon appear sweeter, for some reason.

“Yeah,” he says simply, but you don’t miss the small smile on his lips. So maybe there is a way to get to know Park Sunghoon, you think.

Once in the pastures, he shows you how to release a horse safely in case they get excited about being outside and hurt you accidentally or run away. Thankfully, these horses know better than to do that sort of stuff, so it’s very unlikely that anything will happen, he explains, but you’re always better safe than sorry. You head back to the stables in a silence a bit less awkward than before and do the same things with the three other horses in those stables. Not much is said, but you don’t want to force the conversation. He just explains to you that these few horses work well together in the pastures, but that it’s not always this easy.

“Horses have a herd instinct, so they need to be with each other, but also not with anyone. You know how wolf packs have alphas and betas and stuff?” he asks, and you nod. Your friends and you had an obsessive Teen Wolf phase when you were in middle school. “Well, horses kind of have that too, because there’s a hierarchy in their herds. So there’s usually one leader, a mare, and some others that just get along.”

“How do you know which horses get along, though?”

“You just have to observe. You can tell pretty quickly which horses are going to have a leader or a follower type personality. Just put two leaders together, and they’ll clash instantly. It can get pretty bad pretty quick, so the first few times you put certain horses together outside, you really have to watch over them and be careful.”

“That’s so interesting,” you say after a few moments. “I never knew horses to have such complex relationships,” you say, and he smiles.

“Horses are really cool,” he says, and immediately grunts. “That was such a loser thing to say.”

You can’t help but laugh at his self-realization, but quickly reassure him. “No, it’s not. It’s something you’re passionate about, of course you’re gonna find them cool,” you say, and the smile he gives you as an answer shouldn’t make your heart beat that much faster, but it does, and you don’t know how to feel about that. You’re just glad he’s being nice to you - bare minimum, but still, a small victory.

“Time for the hard part, now,” he says when all five horses are happy in the pasture. You follow him to a toolshed where they keep tools, of course, but also two empty wheelbarrows and snacks for the horses like grains, carrots and salt blocks. He tells you to grab a shovel as he rolls out a wheelbarrow and you head back to the stalls together.

There’s nothing complex about shoveling dirty hay and horse shit into a wheelbarrow, but by God is it a draining task. The shovel itself is heavy, so having to pick all that stuff up, heave it back into the cart, and then repeat for who knows how many times is a real burden on your poor back and arms. You definitely let Sunghoon know how hard this is for you, what with all the sighs and loud breaths and grunts you’re letting out. You’ve barely finished cleaning one stall out when Sunghoon is starting his third, and you can tell he’s not happy about it.

“If you complained less, you’d work faster, you know,” he says, that scowl back on his face.

“I can’t help that I’ve never done anything like this in my life,” you chide back, out-of-breath and wiping some sweat from your forehead.

“Yeah? All the hard tasks usually done for you, princess?”

His scowl turns into a small smirk as he looks at you, and you curse your heart for doing a flip when he chuckles at your dumbfoundedness. It’s just a stupid nickname, you tell yourself, no need to get so worked up over it.

“I’ve never had any hard tasks like this in the first place,” you say, moving on to the second stall. “My body isn’t made for it.”

“Well, it’ll have to get used to it.” Yesterday, his mother had also told you you’d get used to it, as a way of reassuring you; but Sunghoon’s words are a far cry from his mother’s, and are more of a threat than anything.

Another few minutes and you’re done, Sunghoon watching you as you finish cleaning your designated stall. You dump everything at the manure pile, then head to the straw pile and fill the wheelbarrow to replace the dirty straw with fresh one in the stalls. And then, you only have to do that four more times. Easy enough, right?

No. Not easy.

The only semi-easy part is taking the horses out of their stalls and tying the rope that are attached to their halter to a ring in the prep room, except some horses are less compliant than others and you end up having to call Sunghoon a couple times so he can take care of them for you.

The whole time you’re heaving manure into the wheelbarrow, you’re complaining. At first, it was the stank that had really gotten to you - as one can imagine, hay infused with horse piss and shit doesn’t smell like fresh linen. But somehow, you got used to it - maybe the physical exertion forced you to forget about the smell and focus on the pain taking over your whole body.

You huff and puff as you feel the heavy weight of the shovel in your arms and shoulders every time you need to lift it up and bring it back down. The pain in your upper back from years of carrying your backpack on one shoulder makes itself known, and after half an hour you’re whining that you can feel muscle scores coming in your whole body.

“They’ll probably stay for a whole week too,” you mumble to yourself, but still loud enough for Sunghoon to hear.

“You’ll get used to it, I told you. In a few weeks this will feel like nothing.�� When you only grunt in response, he adds: “I usually do this on my own, you know. You’re lucky you’re only doing half of the work. Or more like one fourth, with the speed you’re going at.”

“Why don’t your parents or sister help you out?” you ask as you lean against the stall wall, using the distraction of a conversation to take a break.

“My parents already work all week when I’m not there, giving lessons and taking care of the club, so it’s the least I can do to help out on weekends and during my breaks. And my sister already works hard enough at her school so I want her to relax when she’s here,” he replies, never stopping his shoveling.

“But you work hard too, don’t you? I mean, your sister said you were top of your class. You should get a break too.”

His movements halt for a split second only. If your words have any sort of impact on Sunghoon, he doesn’t want to let you know.

“I just study hunched over my desk all week. It’s nice to do something physical, and I don’t mind the time alone.” You’re not sure whether this is an excuse he’s come up with for himself or if he’s telling the truth, but his tone is so final and you understand that he’s done with the conversation, so you pick up your shovel and get back to work. You don’t complain for the rest of the morning.

When you’re finally done with the stalls, you bring back the horses you had walked to the pastures so that others can enjoy the free space and green grass. That’s when you run into an obstacle.

No matter how much you pull, coax, or stare impatiently, this horse won’t budge. Sunghoon rests his back and one foot against the plastic half-wall of the riding hall, chuckling at how awfully you and Dona are getting on. He’s already brought back the other five horses to their stalls and has nothing better to do than be useless, apparently.

After a few minutes of you trying to negotiate with Dona, to no avail, Sunghoon finally speaks up, just loud enough for you to hear. “Stop staring at her. Horses get nervous when you stare too much.”

You scoff. “But she won’t move! I’m trying to show her the desperation in my eyes!” you shout back, and turn to the horse who only peers at you with empty black eyes.

“Don’t shout. Horses don’t like it when you shout,” Sunghoon simply answers, propping himself off of the wall and taking his sweet time walking towards you. When he reaches you and Dona, he takes the tether from your hands and says, “C’mon, Dona,” without even looking at the horse, who immediately follows, no questions asked.

You stand there dumbfounded and mouth O-shaped as you watch the two of them stride away calmly, running after Sunghoon when your shock dissipates. “Don’t run,” he says when he hears your quickly approaching footsteps, “horses don’t like it when you run.”

“My God,” you say, already out of breath, “how many things do horses not like?”

“Quite a few,” he answers matter-of-factly, although you meant your question more rhetorically than anything.

“How did you do that, anyways?” you ask when your breathing returns to normal.

“Well, mainly, it’s just because she knows me and knows to listen to me,” he explains, turning his head just a bit to look at you as you walk back to the main stables, the sun making itself shy behind the tall trees even though it’s nearing midday. A warm breeze blows, sweeping your ponytail to the side and rustling the leaves on the trees. “But also, horses need to be told what to do, not asked. Your attitude needs to be, ‘we’re going back now,’ not, ‘hey, wanna go back?’” You nod slowly at first, then faster when the words start making sense in your head. Sunghoon wants to make fun of you but finds it sweet that you’re at least trying to understand.

“Right,” you say after a few moments. “It’s not very nice, though,” you add, causing Sunghoon to tilt his head and frown his brows, silently asking you to go on. “Well, I’m sure Dona would like a say in the matter.”

He once again contains his laughter because you look so serious and he doesn’t want to make you feel bad, but ultimately fails and snorts at your comment, making you look up at him, bewilderment written all over your face. “What? I’m being serious!”

“I know you are,” he chuckles, “but don’t worry, Dona doesn’t mind having to go home. And if it was up to her, she’d stay out all night.”

Sunghoon tells you some anecdotes about the club and its occupiers on your way back, making you giggle at some of the mischievous things the horses have gotten up to. He’s more talkative than this morning which takes you slightly aback, but you’re not going to complain about the change. You were dreading having to spend your summer annoyed at a cute boy you’d have to see every day, so you’re glad his first impression is drastically different from what he’s actually like.

You and Sunghoon part ways a bit before noon, and you plop down on the couch as soon as you get to your grandmother’s house. “Tough morning, huh?,” she calls from the kitchen. You only have enough energy left to hum a small “yes” back. She chuckles at you, then tells you to take a shower before having lunch. You spend the rest of your day sunbathing on a deckchair in the backyard, taking some time to relax before what you’re sure will be a tiring week.

One thing you learn during that week and the weeks after that is that Sunghoon has his fair share of fangirls. As a female-dominated hobby, most of the club members are teenage girls who love horses and cute boys.

Tuesday morning before lessons start, he shows you basic things like how to properly groom a horse and how to put their saddles and bridles (which is actually a lot harder than it looks - putting your thumb in a horse’s mouth seems a bit counterintuitive), just in case you ever need to get a horse ready for whatever reason. You’re going to be here for two months, so might as well learn things like these.

While you help him walk some horses to the pastures, he explains that summer lessons are different in that instead of learners coming once or twice a week, they come all day from Tuesday to Friday and then pass an exam on Saturday morning if they want to. Since both his mother and father teach, they’re able to have two separate groups, one for riders who come for more laidback lessons with games and walks in the fields nearby, and one for those who want to improve their skills in an intense week of both practical and theoretical lessons.

There isn’t much you can do on your own, so after you’ve gone around the stables giving grains to the horses that need them, you join Sunghoon outside in the courtyard as he cleans and greases some saddles and bridles that are starting to wear out. It’s fairly easy to do and he lets you help out, so you sit outside together in silence, enjoying the warmth of the sun on your face. That is, until you start noticing the girls.

You don’t want to pay them any attention, but what with the way they wave shyly at Sunghoon and giggle when he waves back, a smile you can’t describe as anything but dazzling adorning his lips, it’s impossible not to. Some of them even call out his name, saying “hi” in the sweetest way they can. You don’t blame them: had you been fifteen and seen a boy as pretty as Sunghoon, you probably would’ve acted similarly, especially if you got to see him on a regular basis.

What gets on your nerves, however, is how much Sunghoon enjoys it: you can tell by the smirk that won’t leave his face the whole time or the way he makes them all swoon by remembering their names. Bare minimum, you think to yourself once again, but you don’t say anything. Even if slightly infuriating, it’s also entertaining, seeing Sunghoon enjoy himself this way. You would’ve thought he was the type to want to be by himself at all times, unbothered by anyone, yet here he was, blushing at all the attention he was receiving.

After a girl who had come up to him (sparing you a confused “hi” when she saw your unfamiliar face but quickly turning her attention back to Sunghoon), wanting to know how his year at school had gone, skips giddily away, you can’t help but tease him.

“I can’t believe you’re liking this so much,” you say with a smile, keeping your attention on greasing the leather parts of the bridle.

Sunghoon looks up at you, a semi-offended look on his face. “I’m just being nice.”

“I didn’t know ‘just being nice’ entailed letting yourself be showered in compliments and winking at fifteen year-old girls. Aren’t you turning twenty?”

“I’m not- I didn’t- Whatever,” he gives up, a pout on his face as he returns to work. You nudge his shoulder, making him crack a smile, and you feel like you won the Grand Prix of something.

Another thing you learn that week is that there’s a lot of going back and forth with Sunghoon. One minute he’s laughing at your jokes and acting like a normal human being, and the other he’s giving you the cold shoulder as if he suddenly doesn’t want you around anymore. Sometimes, these changes in his attitude are so quick, they give you whiplash.

You learn to not pay too much attention to these mood swings, not wanting to create any problems for yourself. He seems to be happy when you ask him about horses, so you often come up with the most random things you can think to ask, and he always patiently answers even the dumbest of questions. However, his patience is much quicker to run out when you complain about any task you’re given, so you settle on glaring at the back of his head.

Thankfully, you’re actually a lot less busy than you thought you would be. Your tasks consist mainly of cleaning the stalls, feeding the horses, and taking care of the ones who are too old or have some kind of illness and can’t be mounted. You bring them to the pastures, where they spend a lot of their time, then brush out the dirt and dust embedded in their fur after rolling around on the ground. These horses are often the most affectionate, gently nuzzling your hands when you try to clean their face and huffing happily when they see you arrive.

You do this a couple times a week and Sunghoon often joins you, bringing Nellie out and attaching the rope of her halter next to the horse you’re taking care of so he can groom her as well. These are the moments when he’s in his best mood and he lets you blabber away, talking about random things and concerns in your life as he listens and nods, sometimes sharing some of his as well, letting you take a peek into his closed-off world. You find that you have actually quite a lot in common, with you being in med school and him in vet school, which are both intense and high-pressure. Yet, there’s always something that’s quite surface-level about these conversations; students will always easily bond about the stress of deadlines and horrible professors. You want to dig deeper, but something tells you that Sunghoon will quickly shut you down, and you’re okay with waiting for a bit. You’re just glad he hasn’t been the way he was with you that first day the whole time and that he’s actually talking to you and even sending a smile your way once every now and then.

You also hang out with Yeji quite a lot. Even though she’s on her summer break, competition season means she spends four days a week at her boarding school to train and the other three days at the club, trying to enjoy her summer like any other normal high schooler as best as she can. She doesn’t say much more on how she feels about training so much, only slightly hinting at her level of stress and fatigue like she had done at the dinner table, and you can tell it’s a touchy subject, so you don’t pry.

It does take your body a few days to get used to being outside in the sun and walking around all day, so your first week at the club, you head home as soon as you’re done with your tasks and take a shower then help your grandmother with dinner, spending your evenings reading or playing Scrabble with her (she’s an impressive player, by the way, and has taught you many words). Every Sunday night, you have dinner with the Parks, although Mrs Park also sometimes urges you into her house at one p.m. with the promise of delicious food.

On your second Wednesday there, however, you feel like going out in the evening. After a really hot week, it had stormed during the night that made Tuesday turn into Wednesday which had made the air feel less heavy and more refreshing, so doing anything was a lot less energy-consuming than it had been before. It’s nine p.m. and the sun is low in the sky when you tell your grandmother you’re going to explore the property some more. You know there’s a path that goes behind the pastures to a forest and that is used for horse rides and walks, so you make your way there and follow it.

The mud is still a bit soft from all the rain of the night and morning and you can tell apart footsteps as well as hoof and dog paw prints. The trees on each side on the path are so full of leaves that they make a sort of arch overhead, barring any of the remaining sunlight from entering and casting a shadow all over, and you wish you’d have brought a thin jumper with you. It feels nice to be outside when the sun isn’t making you feel like your skin will melt right off of your body, though.

You’ve been walking for about fifteen minutes, stopping here and there to look at a flower or snap a shot of the clouds you can see through the trees when you reach a clearing. It’s completely empty, the trees making way for a vast patch of just grass and small daisies, so of course you see him immediately.

A couple hundred meters away from where you’re standing is Sunghoon on a tall, ginger horse, galloping in circles. You don’t know much about horse riding, but you can tell that he knows what he's doing from the way he holds himself and directs the horse. His back is straight and his legs are pressed against the horse’s flanks, his hips moving in perfect synchronization with the horse’s strides so that he stays seated on its back rather than bounces like you’ve seen many less advanced riders do. The horse’s neck rounds and its head stays down, making its steps light and refined, and Sunghoon holds the reins long and low on each side of the horse’s garrot so he can gallop in a continuous circle.

The sight is breathtaking.

You’d always thought that horses had a certain grace to them, especially such tall and slim horses like the one right in front of you, and Sunghoon, with his perfect stance and control, somehow brought even more of that grace out. It was clear that it took a lot of work and talent to reach such elegance.

Although he seemed highly concentrated on what he was doing, Sunghoon noticed you after a minute of you standing there, all but gawking at him. You see him chuckle as he subtly changes his position on the horse and slows to a trot, heading towards you.

“Hey,” he calls out when you’re within hearing distance of each other. “What are you doing here?”

“I was just… taking a walk,” you say, pointing to the path behind you with your thumb but your gaze not leaving Sunghoon, still wearing an expression of astonishment on your face. “Sunghoon, that was- I mean, just, unlike anything I’ve ever seen. You looked amazing,” you say, unable to keep your honesty at bay. If the girls from the club had seen him ride like this, then you were definitely starting to understand why they were so smitten over him - you felt almost starstruck.

He chuckles again and looks down bashfully, hoping the dim light hides his growing blush from you. “Thanks. I wasn’t really doing anything special.”

“Not anything special, are you kidding? I’m serious, that was awesome. It was like- like a figure skater gliding, or like a ballet dancer doing turns or something,” you say, shaking your head in disbelief.

Your grin gets even wider when he lets out a giggle at your words, immediately covering his mouth with his palm when he hears the sound he’s made. He really does have a thing for being paid attention to and praised, you note.

“So you were just on a walk?” he asks awkwardly as a way of changing the subject, scratching the back of his head.

“I needed some fresh air, I guess. Plus, I’ve only been staying in the club, so I thought I’d take a walk around.”

“I can show you around when I’ve got time this week, if you want.” His offer seems to come as a surprise to the both of you, but you nod anyway, grateful for the extended hand.

“That’d be nice,” you say. You’re not sure what’s happening when you two stay there for a few seconds, just smiling shyly at each other, but you don’t hate it.

“Have you ever been on a horse?” he asks, breaking the silence first.

“Well, just a couple times, but it wasn’t lessons or anything, so I don’t know if it counts- wait, wait, what are you doing?”

A sudden mischievous smile has made its way to Sunghoon’s features as he dismounts, bringing the horse next to you. “Wanna try, then?”

“No,” you say with a pointed look. “No way. That horse is taller than me, Sunghoon, I’m not getting on him.”

“Oh c’mon, I promise you it’s not scary, and I’ll be holding onto the reins the whole time. We can just walk back to the club like this.” His eyes are working hard to convince you, and his small pout makes what little resolve you had crumble.

“Fine. But you better not let go of that horse.”

“I won’t,” he says, and something about his tone makes your qualms dissipate.

You walk over to where he’s standing on the left hand side of the horse and hook your left foot in the stirrup. Sunghoon instructs you to place your hands on each end of the saddle and hoist yourself up. It requires a lot more arm strength than you’d have imagined after seeing so many riders do it effortlessly, but Sunghoon is there to help you up as soon as he sees you struggling, two strong hands coming up to hold you at the waist and lift you onto the horse. You tell yourself it’s the physical exertion and not his touch that renders you breathless.

“Wow,” you say when you look around you, almost two meters above ground.

“Pretty cool, isn’t it?”

A small giggle escapes your lips. “Yeah. Pretty cool.”

“How does it feel? Are you sitting okay? Here, I’ll change the stirrup length so they fit you. Or we can just cross them over the saddle, since you won’t really need them, anyway.”

“No, I’d rather wear them, please,” you say, and your slight anxious tone makes Sunghoon chuckle.

When he’s done adjusting the stirrups for you and made sure you’re comfortable, he shows you how to hold the reins properly and tells you how to get the horse to start walking. “We usually teach beginners that you knock your heels against their flanks, but because Flame has only been mounted by more advanced riders, he might not like that. Don’t panic,” he reassures as soon as he sees your eyes go wide, “just press your calves against him instead of using your heels. Here, see? I’m holding him by the front of the reins, so he won’t run off.”

“Right, right,” you breathe out. Sunghoon’s right there, so there’s no reason to stress about this.

“Good. Just a small pressure from your calves, and we’re good to go.”

Flame is very reactive, already started walking when you’ve barely squeezed your legs against him. With Sunghoon practically directing the horse for you, you realize there’s nothing for you to do but enjoy the ride.

“This feels nice,” you say as you try to get used to Flame’s quick but steady rhythm. Sunghoon’s smile is better than any other spoken answer he could’ve given you. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you decide to speak up.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” Sunghoon replies, looking up at you.

“Why were you so mean to me the first night I got here?”

He seems slightly taken aback by your question, but you get a glimpse of a guilty expression before he looks back down. “Right, sorry about that. I’ve kind of been feeling bad about it all week, but I was scared to bring it up.”

“It’s okay, I’m just curious about the sudden change is all,” you say.

“I just-” he starts, but then seems to think for a bit. “I’m not the best with strangers, for one. Plus, you were going to stay for the whole summer. I’ve built a routine for myself every summer here, and I don’t like it when something, or someone, disturbs my peace. Also, no offense, but I’m not a huge fan of you city folk. So many people at school have this weird prejudice against me for being from the middle of nowhere, so I’ve kind of got a low tolerance for them. So before I even met you, I didn’t really like you. Sorry, that’s harsh.”

You tell him not to worry about it. His words make you understand him a bit more, and you’re glad it doesn’t seem to be anything too personal against you. You tell him to go on and he sighs. “And you know, I talked with my parents and they told me it’ll be nice to have someone else around to help, and that your grandmother always talks highly of you, and that it was stupid to have decided in advance I wouldn’t like you, and I sort of agreed, but I couldn’t bring myself to be okay with it all. It’s like, we’ve been fine all this time, so why bring in someone new? My parents told me that technically this whole property belongs to your grandmother, and that she could bring anyone she wanted, and I couldn’t really say anything against that. But anyway, I told myself that if I just was cold and pretended you weren’t here, that it’d be fine. But then I- I saw you, and…” his words trail off here and he looks down as if embarrassed to say what comes next.

“And?” you pry, too curious not to.

You really have to focus to hear his words because of how low he mumbles them. “And you were really pretty…”

This confession that seemingly comes out of the blue makes your heart swell with satisfaction and you can’t help but tease him about it. “What was that? I didn’t hear you clearly.”

“Oh c’mon, you heard me. Don’t make me say it again.”

“I want you to say it again, though.”

He sighs and gives in. “Fine. I said you were pretty.”

You laugh, way happier than you should be at his words, and he whines at you to not make fun of him. “So you were mean to me because I was pretty? Doesn’t make much sense,” you taunt.

He sighs again, shaking his head a bit as if in disbelief he’s actually talking about this. “It’s just that… I wanted to be nice, I promise you I did, but I just… I’m not even sure myself. I think it just pissed me off even more, because it wasn’t like having to ignore some rando, it was having to ignore a really pretty girl, which obviously I don’t really want to do,” he says, and you laugh again. “But then you ended up being really nice as well and even funny, and I felt like an asshole for being mean. Which I should never have been in the first place, I know. I’m just… bad with strangers, like I said. Not used to them. It’s not an excuse for my behavior, though, so I’m sorry.”

You look at him with a smile and thank him for apologizing. Sadly, it’s a lot more than most nineteen-year-old boys would do, so you appreciate it. You spend the rest of the ride teasing him about how he thinks you’re pretty and how he was really acting like a tsundere, earning a few embarrassed chuckles from him. Something about getting him flustered just gets you going: his shy smile that reveals a pair of dimples and another of fangs, the blush creeping on his cheeks as he looks down at his feet. Too adorable.

When you reach the entrance to the club, he helps you get off the horse, holding you when your knees almost buckle at the impact of your feet against the ground. For some reason, you weren’t expecting to be so high up, even though you had been on a nearly two-meter horse for the past fifteen minutes.

“You know, I could teach you how to mount, if you’re interested,” he says as you brush some horse hair from your leggings.

That’s the second offer Sunghoon makes you tonight; he’s really showing you his nice side now, you realize with a flip of your stomach. You could just say yes, that sounds fun, but instead, you decide to annoy him some more. “Didn’t know I was so pretty that the Park Sunghoon would offer to give me lessons!”

He rolls his eyes playfully and starts to walk away with Flame. “Forget it then.”

You giggle as you catch up to him and nudge his shoulder with yours. “I’d love to.”

From that day on, it’s a lot easier to be around Sunghoon. He still doesn’t let you complain, and you can tell the walls he’s built around himself have only shrunk by a few bricks, but at least his attitude doesn’t flip around anymore. He reveals a side of himself that’s goofier than you’d have imagined, cracking random dad jokes and making side comments that never fail to make you laugh. He’s also quite sensitive to your teasing, always looking away with a blush, mumbling a small whatever at your words, but his shy smile lets you know that he doesn’t actually mind it.

The riding lessons usually happen in between work breaks or at the end of the day, and after a few of them, you know how to get a horse to start, turn, and stop, and you don’t like a complete fool when the horse’s pace goes up to a trot, having mastered the art of sitting and standing at the right time. Sunghoon had shown you a few horses you could practice on and you’d gone for a piebald horse named Picasso whose garrot reached your chin, because the agglomeration of white hairs at the top of his otherwise black head formed a small heart.

Although you’d noticed from the get-go that Sunghoon was nothing less than gorgeous, it hadn’t hit you in the face until now that you could call him a friend, and every time he smiled or that the light hit his eyes a certain way, your heart skipped a few beats. At first, you told yourself that that was it - you found him pretty. That didn’t mean much more than you being able to recognise beauty, and it certainly didn’t mean you actually liked him as anything else than a friend.

That was until this one day, when he was giving you a lesson after everyone had left the club. In the south of France where temperatures often rise to the high thirties in the summer, heavy storms are bound to break out. This was one of those days - it had been raining the entire day, but it had calmed out a bit at the end of the afternoon which was why you had gone ahead with the lesson. However, twenty minutes into it, the rain got heavier again and thunder suddenly rang, loud and resonating in the emptiness of the fields. Horses are generally skittish creatures, and Picasso was no exception, the sound frightening him so much that he took off in a rapid gallop. In less than a fortnight of lessons you hadn’t developed the strong legs and quick reflexes of an advanced rider, and you were unable to keep up with him, falling off of him with a yelp, everything happening in the fraction of a second.

You fell right on your butt, the pain shooting off from there and spreading to your whole body and taking away your breath for three long seconds. You had barely the time to register what had happened that Sunghoon was already next to you, frantically asking if you were okay and telling you to stay still. He pulled his phone out and called Yeji, telling her to come to the riding hall quickly.

From your peripheral vision you could see Picasso pacing back and forth at the other side of the hall, as if to calm himself down. Sunghoon held you up with one firm hand planted on your back, his other hand resting on your arm as his thumb brushed your skin comfortingly. He helped you regain a normal heart rate by making you mirror his long and controlled breaths, worried eyes never once leaving your face.

Yeji got to the riding hall in no time and immediately spotted you sitting on the floor and Sunghoon crouching over you, but her brother asked her to please take Picasso back to his stall before she could walk over to the two of you. She nevertheless asked if you were okay and you nodded, trying to give her a faint smile that reassured both her and Sunghoon.

“You feeling better?” Sunghoon asked when your tears had finally stopped falling, wiping away the ones that had rained down your cheeks and reached your jawline.

You nodded, taking a deep breath through your nose that turned out to be useless when you opened your eyes and realized how close Sunghoon was, face merely inches away from yours and arms wrapped around you, taking your breath away more than the pain had. “Y-yeah, I’m fine, more shocked than anything.”

He let out a chuckle of relief and brushed the hair away from your face, fully putting your heart and lungs out of order. “I’m glad. Falls always happen when you first start out riding, but they’re still really scary. I was worried you got badly hurt for a second there,” he says simply, and before you can even process his words, he asks, “Are you feeling ready to get up?”

You can only nod, looking up at Sunghoon like he saved you from a near-death experience as he helps you up. If he notices your gawking, he doesn’t say anything, and you’re thankful for it. In your three weeks of knowing each other, you’ve been the one to tease Sunghoon and make him unable to say anything. Even just in general, you’re used to being the flirt that makes boys blush - very rarely were they able to do the same to you, even though they all tried their hardest. Yet Sunghoon, without even realizing it or doing it on purpose, had just made your heart flutter and your brain draw a blank. You wished you could blame it on the shock you just had and the pain still making your legs weak, but you’re reminded of all the times a simple smile or passing touch had put you in the same state, and you know you’d be a fool to continue on ignoring them.

It takes you literally falling flat on your ass to realize you have feelings for Park Sunghoon.

Unsure what to do with this newfound information, you decide to keep things between you and Sunghoon as they were. You’ll be leaving at the end of August anyway, no need to make things awkward for the remainder of your stay. Although some moments make you wonder if he might feel some kind of way for you too, you try not to think too much of them and enjoy your friendship as is.

When you’ve reached a level where you being on a horse isn’t a danger to yourself or those around you, Sunghoon keeps his promise of showing you more of the premises and you go on horse rides together, allowing you to discover random creeks and benches that were placed in the middle of nowhere. You go on these a few times a week when you’re all done with your tasks of the day and the raging heat of the sun has somewhat calmed, and to your surprise, you actually really enjoy being out in nature, even though bugs are still a very much unwelcome part of it.

One day he mentions vet school and you’re reminded of your grandmother’s words on your first night here about how it wasn’t particularly what he wanted to do, so you ask him about it. He turns to you with a stunned look on his face. “I didn’t know she knew about that.”

“She told me she noticed a lot of things like that.”

He turns his head again and gazes up at the sky. “Well, she’s not wrong. It’s my parents that wanted me to go to vet school. I’d be happy just taking care of the club and making a living that way, but they say they don’t need my help year round and that it’s better for me to take up a better job.”

“For someone who doesn’t want to do it, it’s very impressive that you’re top of your class.”

He chuckles shyly and a blush appears on his cheeks. “Did Yeji say that? I only got the top grade for a couple of subjects, not all of them,” he says, making you scoff as if to say ‘still, very impressive.’ “And you know, I still like it and find it interesting, and if I’m doing it, might as well give it my best and make my parents proud.”

“Yeah, I get that. My parents are both doctors so there was never any doubt in either their or my mind that I’d become one too, until I started my first year and realized that maybe I could’ve done something else.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

You turn your head to look at him and he mirrors you. “Cause if I’m doing it, might as well give it my best and make my parents proud.”

You both look away with a chuckle. “Guess we’re more similar than I thought we were,” he says, taking you aback, but you’re very glad he thinks that way. You turn to your side, leaning against your elbow as you peer down at him.

“What about a riding career? Had you ever thought about that?”

“God, yeah,” he answers without any hesitation. “My parents signed me up for a few competitions when I was younger, and I won a couple. It made them happy, so I was happy, but I also actually really liked it. My parents never really asked how seriously I wanted to take it, though, and I didn’t say anything, so when Yeji started showing a lot of interest in competitions and becoming a professional rider they focused their attention on her and assumed I didn’t really mind, I guess. I never tried to prove them wrong. As I said, I’d be fine just taking care of the club.” He sighs and pauses for a second. “She was really young when she said she wanted to have a horse riding career, and my parents just ran with it. Now that she’s older and it takes up basically ninety percent of her life, I can tell it’s a lot of pressure on her. But it’s too late to switch places and she’s the same as me, doesn’t want to let down our parents. I just hope she won’t push herself too much, you know.”

You nod, listening intently to his words. “I’m sure you’ll be there to watch over her if she ever does. You seem like a good older brother.”

He smiles and looks up at you. “I try to be.” He reaches a hand up to your face and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. The sudden, unfamiliar and intimate gesture takes you by surprise and as soon as he registers your wide eyes and agape lips he retracts his hand, apologizing. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to be weird, I just- I don’t- I’m sorry,” he stammers, looking away with a blush.

You don’t say anything for a few seconds, too stunned by what just happened, and he looks back at you, calling out your name in a small voice. His worried expression immediately crumbles when you start laughing. “It’s fine,” you say between giggles. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

He breathes out a sigh of relief and smiles again. “Sorry, I just did it without thinking. My friends and family are always super touchy so I’m just used to that sort of thing.”

“I’m the opposite,” you say, and Sunghoon raises his eyebrows. “My parents aren’t very affectionate. I mean, they tell me they’re proud of me, and buy me gifts and stuff like that, but we never hug, or say we love each other. You’ve seen my grandma, right? The only time she’s hugged me in the almost three weeks I’ve been here was the very first day, and that’s because we hadn’t seen each other in six months.”

Sunghoon nods and hums at your words. “Yeah, now that you say that, your grandma isn’t the type to hug, or, I don’t know, pet your hair or anything, even though I’ve known her basically my whole life. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he says, and you shake your head.

“No, don’t worry, you didn’t. It was actually… kinda nice,” you admit, looking away from him quickly.

“Really?” he asks with one of the widest grins you’ve ever seen on him, and you can’t believe this is the same boy that glared at you as he opened the door just a few weeks ago. You look at him from the corner of your eyes for a few seconds, trying to hide your smile, but give in and nod.

He opens his arms wide and says, “Come here,” and you look at him in disbelief.

“As in…” you say, pointing with your index finger to his chest, and he nods, blinking slowly. You scoff but do it anyway, resting your head on his chest, and a weird but warm bubble envelops your insides as he circles your waist with an arm and caresses your hair with his other hand.

“Is this okay?” he whispers, sending shivers down your spine.

“Yeah,” you whisper back. “This is okay.”

One Friday morning when he’s grooming Nellie and you’re braiding Picasso’s mane, he tells you he’s driving to the city tonight to meet up with his friends. “We’re just going to McDonald’s and then the cinema… and they’re kinda losers, you know, but it’d be fun if you came too. If you want to, I mean,” he offers, his shyness preventing him from looking you in the eyes. When you say you’d love to, his whole face lights up.

The day passes and when the clock strikes six p.m., you walk out of your grandmother’s house and find Sunghoon who’s waiting for you, back resting against his parents’ car. Hands in his pockets and sunglasses on, you can tell he’s trying to look cool and it makes him all that much more endearing to you. He fixes his posture and takes his sunglasses off when he sees you approaching, as if trying to get a better look; he’s seen you wear cuter outfits than tank tops and denim shorts for the dinners with his family but you’ve never worn such a pretty dress, and his heart speeds up at the mere sight of you.

“Like what you see?,” you say when you’re closer to him, twirling around in your dress.

“You look beautiful,” he says, and the look on his face must not be far from the one you wore when you saw him with Flame in that clearing a couple weeks ago.

His honesty makes you a bit shy, and you thank him as you ruffle his hair on your way to the passenger seat of the car. He stands there dumbfounded for a second until you call out his name, getting him back down to reality.

On your way to Perpignan, he tells you about his friends Heeseung, Jay and Jake, and how they all met two years ago. He shared a dorm with Jay and Jake in their first year of preparatory classes, and Heeseung, in the year above, was assigned as his mentor. They all clicked instantly and have been practically inseparable ever since, although they all live quite far away from each other, which is why it’s easiest to meet up in Perpignan when they’re on break from their studies.

“Heeseung’s girlfriend will also be there. Her name is Yunjin, she’s really nice, so if the guys get annoying you two can just talk together.”

“Why, do you guys have a tendency to get annoying when you’re together?,” you ask lightheartedly, making Sunghoon chuckle.

“Not always, but it’s a possibility. They’re nice though, so don’t worry. Jay and Jake especially are outgoing, even though Jay kinda ruins the mood sometimes cause his jokes are just awful. Heeseung is a bit shy though, just don’t take it personal if he like, doesn’t really talk to you or anything.”

“That’s funny, that reminds me of someone,” you say with a smile, unable to stop yourself. Sunghoon just replies with one of his famous whatevers.

It takes you about an hour to get to Perpignan. When you arrive, his friends are waiting outside of the McDonald’s, the boys waving with their whole arms in your direction while Yunjin watches them cross-armed, a smile on her face. “Oh, God,” Sunghoon murmurs, already embarrassed by his friends. “They’re not always like that, I promise,” he says as you walk over to them.

“Really,” you deadpan when they’ve started chanting Sunghoon’s name, watching as his face turns a deeper shade of red.

“Hi guys,” he greets them, bro-hugging Heeseung, Jay and Jake and kissing Yunjin on each cheek. You remind yourself once again to start from the right and not the left, and greet the boys first. They all say “hi, Y/N” and give you their names, and you’re quite flustered that you don’t need to tell them your name.

“Sunghoon’s told us a lot about you,” Jake says with a knowing expression, and you all chuckle when Sunghoon mutters “shut up, Jake.”

You go to greet Yunjin next and you’re surprised when, rather than simply pressing the corner of her lips against your cheek like most people do when they greet someone they’re not particularly close to, she actually kisses your cheek, an extra-friendly gesture. “I was so relieved when Sunghoon said he was bringing a girl,” she confesses, reminding you of Yeji, “I can’t deal with having to babysit these four all the time. Look at them,” she says, gesturing towards the quartet with a nudge of her head. They’re sizing Sunghoon up, ruffling his hair, pinching his cheeks and brushing away invisible creases in his t-shirt as he tries to swat their hands away, to no avail, and you can’t help but laugh at them along with Yunjin.

You all head inside the McDonald’s, getting into pairs of two to pick your order on the giant touch screens. You choose a McChicken, potato wedges and ice tea, and Sunghoon chides you for getting wedges instead of fries.

“People who get those think they’re better than everyone else,” he says matter-of-factly.

“Because we are,” you say with a smile. You touch the screen to get to the payment page but Sunghoon goes back, saying he’ll order too.

“But I need to pay?” you say, looking up at him questioningly.

“I can pay for the two of us,” he says nonchalantly, and you tease him with an ‘ooh.’ “Shut up,” he mutters, already blushing, “just let me do something nice for you.”

“Fine,” you smile, nudging his shoulder with yours a bit. “Thanks. I’ll get the cinema tickets then.”

He turns to you abruptly, his eyebrows drawn in together. “But then that cancels out me paying for this…” he whines, and you give him a look as if to say, “yeah, exactly.”

“I don’t mind getting the tickets,” he says. “I get paid for my work at the club but I never spend any money, so, you know, I can get this for you. It makes me happy,” he mumbles, avoiding your teasing gaze.

“Thanks, Hoon,” you say, the nickname escaping your lips before you can stop it. He doesn’t seem to mind it; if anything, his blush gets deeper. You think he might end up eternally red at this rate.

“Of course.” He orders a double Big Mac, fries and a coke, and you tease him for getting such a boring meal. “They’re classics for a reason,” he defends himself.

You swear you’ve never seen him so red and so stuttery as when you get on your toes to press a kiss to his cheek as a thank you for paying, and you think there’s no way he could get any cuter than this. His friends don’t miss it and Jake punches him very obnoxiously in the shoulder as what you can only assume is a weird congratulatory gesture.

His friends are a bit annoying, but in a funny way, so it’s okay. You’re so unaccustomed to their very unique sense of humor that everything they say and do makes you laugh, whereas they’re used to behaving like that and don’t even question their weirdness anymore. Contrary to what Sunghoon told you, Jay’s jokes land with you every time, even when the whole table grunts.

Most of the conversation, to Sunghoon’s dismay, is spent telling embarrassing stories about him, which his friends have a lot of after having seen him drunk so many times. Heeseung asks you about how it’s been being with Sunghoon at the club, and you don’t really notice the sly smirk on his and Jake’s faces until you’re done answering. You tell them about all the things he’s made you do, but when you notice him about to complain, you add that it’s also been nice, learning how to ride a horse and spending time in the countryside.

“So you’ve seen Sunghoon ride, then?” Jake asks, and Heeseung’s snort tells you it’s not an innocent question.

“Yeah, I have,” you say, but it comes out more a question because their behavior confuses you.

Jake gives you a pointed look. “And, what did you think? I mean, it’s not the coolest sport out there, is it?” he asks, and the way Sunghoon looks down at his half-eaten burger is enough for you to put the puzzle pieces together.

You frown slightly. “Well, I think it’s a lot cooler than running after a ball and pretending like you’re gonna die when you twist your ankle,” you reply, remembering Jake’s mention of him playing soccer. Jay is quick to diffuse the tension when he sees Jake about to bite something back, saying to just talk about something else. You back off and look at Sunghoon, who seems to have completely spaced out and left the conversation. You rest your hand at the top of his knee, his attention snapping back towards you and he gives you a small smile, then turns to his friends and the conversation starts again as if nothing had happened. You’re thankful for it, because you don’t wanna create trouble the first time you meet them and make it awkward, but you really don’t appreciate his friends making him feel like he’s not “cool” because he’s a horse rider; there’s already enough stigma about it being a girls’ sport, he doesn’t need any added pressure from them.

The rest of the meal goes well, Heeseung and Yunjin throwing fries at each other, and the table making fun of Jay for eating his McFlurry so messily. Apart from the horse riding comment and the fact that they love teasing him (which you do too, to be fair), Sunghoon’s friends are nice and make him laugh, so you relax around them once again, although you and Jake exchange a few tense eye contacts. You won’t feel sorry for defending Sunghoon, even if you’ve known him for three weeks and Jake has for two years.

When you’re done eating, you walk to the movie theater that’s just two minutes away, the boys ahead and you and Yunjin in tow. “I’m really glad you spoke up for Sunghoon earlier, and I’m sure he appreciated it too,” she says, just loud enough for you to hear. “I’ve tried speaking about it with Heeseung, but he and Jake just don’t seem to get that it actually annoys Sunghoon and they say it’s just for fun. I did horse riding when I was a kid, so I know how hard it actually is, and Jay is just a bit more mature than them, so we try to get them to stop, but they still do it a bit. Their humor is basically just making fun of everyone in their group, so sometimes they don’t know when to stop.”

You nod at her words, the situation a bit clearer now. “He should bring them to the club and show them how good he is,” you say. “Or better yet, make them get on a horse so they can see firsthand that it’s not the horse doing all the work like everyone says.” Yunjin laughs and agrees, saying she’d pay to see those boys on a horse.

You reach the cinema as you make a note to talk to Sunghoon about this later before you can forget. You ask Yunjin what movie you’re seeing, realizing you had no idea, and she rolls her eyes. “I wanted to go see the new Marion Cotillard movie, but the boys said it looked boring, so we’re going to watch some horror movie. I don’t even know the name, but I’m sure it’s just a rehash of the same tired haunted house plot.”

While Sunghoon gets the tickets, you sneak to the food counter and get two bottles of coke and a large popcorn to share with him. He complains that he could’ve gotten that but you shut him up with a tut.

“Are you good at watching horror movies?” you lean in and whisper when you’re seated and waiting for the movie to start while ads play, and you see him shiver slightly, but that might just be because of the aircon in the theater and not your proximity.

“What do you mean, am I good at watching them? Do you mean if I like them?” he asks, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he looks at you.

“No, I mean if you get scared easily. You can like them and watch them a lot but still get scared. I feel like you’d scream at all the jumpscares,” you add that later part just to tease him, and you know you hit bullseye when he looks away with a scoff, straightening in his seat.

“I guess they’re fun to watch, but no, I don’t get scared. And I’m definitely not going to scream.” He looks down at you with a smirk, his confidence hitting him out of nowhere as it sometimes does. “But I know you will, so feel free to hold onto my arm when you get scared,” he says, and it’s your turn to scoff and look away.

“Thanks for the offer, but I’ll be alright,” you say just as the lights start to dim and the movie starts playing.

It takes a while for the movie to pick up, so the first half hour, you’re not really into it, paying more attention to the way your hand brushes against Sunghoon’s whenever you reach for the popcorn at the same time rather than to what is happening on screen. However, when a ghost with a very unpleasant face suddenly pops out, you can’t keep yourself from jumping in your seat and letting out a small gasp which Sunghoon would’ve made fun of, had he not been twice spooked as you were, the pieces of popcorn he was about to eat discarded somewhere at his feet because of the jumpscare.

You share a look with Sunghoon and when the both of you realize the other was completely bluffing, you burst into quiet giggles. He offers you his arm to hold onto again and you roll your eyes but take it anyway, glad for the reassurance his warmth brings you. You wrap one hand around his bicep and place the other in his hand, interlacing your fingers together, and for once you’re the shy one and can’t look him in the eye, keeping your gaze on the screen when you feel his eyes on you, surprised but pleased by your cute action.

You spend the rest of the movie like this, bodies turning towards each other every time something scary happens on screen as if instinctively going to the other to find comfort. If you weren’t in a public place, you probably would’ve ended up in his lap. Or he in yours, perhaps.

The loss of his warmth when the movie ends and the lights turn back on makes your heart a bit sad, and you already find yourself waiting for the time you’ll get to feel him next to you again. When you walk out of the theater, the sun’s finally set and the sky is starting to get dark. You all walk back to the parking lot, Heeseung, Jay, Jake and Yunjin ahead, talking about the movie excitedly and recalling their favorite scenes, but you and Sunghoon hang back a bit. He’s silent and for a second you’re worried all the hand-holding has made him awkward but when you look up at him, he gives you a smile that calms all your nerves in an instant.

Jake suddenly turns around to face you, walking backwards. “What did you two lovebirds think?” he asks.

“It was alright,” Sunghoon answers. “It had some scary scenes but I couldn’t really get into it.”

“Yeah, that’s ‘cause you two were too busy being all- ow!” Jake starts but is interrupted by a kick in the shins, courtesy of Jay.

“Can you read the room, just once in your life, bro?” he says, and Jake rolls his eyes but turns back around anyway, leaving you and Sunghoon to laugh at his friends’ antics.

When you reach the parking lot, you say goodbye to everyone, saying it was nice meeting them and you hoped to see them again soon. “If you can, you should try and visit the club at some point, it’d be nice seeing you there,” you tell Yunjin as you hug her goodbye.

The car ride home is silent at first, betraying both your and Sunghoon’s shyness. “Tonight was nice,” you start, wanting to start a conversation after a few minutes of just looking out the window.

Sunghoon responds immediately as if he’d been waiting for you to say something. “Yeah? I’m glad. I was scared you weren’t going to like my friends or something…” he says, glancing at you with a worried expression on his face.

“Well, I really liked Yunjin and Jay…” you trail.

“But?”

“But…” you sigh, too late to turn back, but unsure whether it’s your place to bring this up. “Heeseung and Jake were nice, you know, but that comment they made about you horse riding really brushed me the wrong way.”

“Aww,” Sunghoon coos, and you roll your eyes at his fake saccharine tone. “Did it make you upset for me?”

“It did!” you say, wanting Sunghoon to know you were serious. “Friends shouldn’t make fun of your passions. Plus you’re really good at it, and I’m sure they’d be impressed by you. I talked about it with Yunjin, you know,” you add before he can cut in. “She said it happens all the time and you’re used to it, but it’s not something you should have to put up with. You should have them over at the club some day.”

Sunghoon hums, pouting his lips a bit. “I don’t know… It’s not that big of a deal. It’s how we mess with each other.”

“You looked really down when they were saying those things, Hoon. You’re allowed to say when something bothers you. And if they don’t listen, then they’re assholes. I know you’ve been friends for a while now, and I’m not trying to make you cut them off by any means, but I think you should talk to them. If they’re good friends, they’ll understand and not want to say something that hurts you. At least I hope so,” you say, looking out the window again to hide how upset this truly makes you. Sunghoon’s next words come as a surprise to you.

“Thanks, Y/N.” You look back at him with a questioning look, wordlessly asking him to go on, and he sighs. “I’m sort of used to keeping everything for myself. Taking a step back so I don’t take things personally, not complaining and just doing what I’m told even if it’s not what I want to do, stuff like that, I’m used to it. I just- I don’t wanna bother anyone, you know. I think you’re the first person who’s ever told me I’m allowed to voice things out.”

You don’t know what to say for a few seconds, shocked by this revelation. It’s very fitting of him - sacrificing his potential career for his sister, going to vet school to please his parents but taking care of the center whenever he’s on break. You didn’t know this behavior went deeper than that, and it was ingrained in him to just take it all and never put up a fight.

You say, “You’re allowed to put yourself first, you know. Sometimes, you even need to,” and it’s an unfamiliar breath of fresh air that blows away some of the weight on his shoulders, hearing those words. He chuckles a bit, hoping that the tears pooling in his eyes don’t accidentally overflow.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that, but it’s nice knowing I have the option. Thank you, Y/N,” he repeats, and you smile at him, relieved when he smiles back.

The rest of the car ride goes by in a flash as you make fun of each other for being so scared of the film and jump from topic to topic like frogs bouncing around lily pads, somehow neither of you ever losing track of the conversation. You tell him someone with such a boring McDonald’s order doesn’t deserve to have opinions and he says that of course you’d think that since you chose potato wedges instead of french fries.

Without noticing it, you soon reach the center, and Sunghoon walks you to your doorstep after parking the car. You stand in front of each other at the door, and you seriously feel like the main lead in a teen rom-com, butterflies in your stomach and all the works as you look up at him, expecting a little something.

“So…” he starts, pressing his lips into a flat line to hide his smile.

“So…” you repeat, nudging your foot with his as you both look down.

“Tonight was nice,” he says sheepishly and you can’t help but laugh, him soon imitating you.

“It was. But we’ve already established that, I think.”

“Right.” His gaze finds yours, and the look in his eyes makes your heart feel like it’s on an acid trip. You stare at each other for a few seconds, unable to look away, and you’re about to run off into the house, the tension too much to handle, when his eyes finally drop to your lips. Knowing him, he probably won’t do much more, so you take a small step towards him and raise your lips towards his, closing the distance between the two of you inch by inch, getting closer, closer, closer, until-

“Sunghoon!” Yeji’s voice rings out in the night, taking you aback as you gasp and stumble a few steps back, not wanting her to see you almost devour her brother’s face. Sunghoon closes his eyes and shakes his head, then lets out an exasperated “what.”

“I can’t believe you went to see that new movie without me. I saw it in Jay's story. I told you I wanted to go see it!”

He sighs and looks at you, mouthing a “sorry” before walking towards her, hooking his arm over her shoulders as he walks her back to their house.

“Sorry, lil sis. We can go watch it together, I don’t mind seeing it again. Also, why do you follow Jay? Unfollow him,” he commands, and after that you can’t hear anything because they’re too far away. You watch them walk with a smile on your face, appreciating their little moment together, and your heart does a little somersault of joy when Sunghoon turns around to wave at you from his door.

After that night, you’re more determined than ever to turn that almost-kiss into a actually-happened-kiss. However, your resolve soon seems to have been for nothing when Sunghoon tells you about how he wishes he didn’t have to leave with his parents, but they won’t let him stay, and you’re reminded of the Parks yearly vacation that starts the next day, exactly three days after the night out.

It’s a late Sunday afternoon and you’ve done everything you needed to for that day, so you and Sunghoon went off on a horse ride as you often do, deciding to take a break when you reach a field in which a bunch of haystacks rest. You only had to exchange a look to understand the other immediately, so you tied your horses to a tree and raced over to the closest stack, helping each other get to the top and laying there.

“I wish you didn’t have to go either,” you say, playing with a loose strand of hay peeking out from the stack in the small space between you and Sunghoon.

“You gonna miss me?” Sunghoon teases, grinning as he lightly nudges your shoulder.

“As surprising as it sounds, I think I might,” you say, and from the corner of your eye you see his grin get wider.

“I think I will too,” he replies, and he giggles when he sees you try and fail to suppress a smile. “Actually, I definitely will,” he adds just to see you smile bigger, and it works.

“When are you leaving again exactly?” you ask to change the subject.

“Early tomorrow morning. I still haven’t packed,” he says and sighs.

“We should head back so you can pack,” you say even though you don’t want to do that at all.

“Yeah, we should, but I don’t want to,” he replies, practically reading your mind. “I wanna stay here for a while.”

A small silence settles between the two of you, but it says more than a thousand words. The tension that has been hanging over your heads for a while now but only thickened after Friday night is almost palpable now. You’re laying so close that your arms are almost touching, occasionally brushing when one of you shifts, and if you turned your head, his face would be right there, which means his lips would be right there. Well, one of you is going to have to do something about this tension, you think, and it’s definitely not going to be him.

“Sunghoon?” you call out, turning your head towards the boy next to you. He does the same and your eyes meet. In this late afternoon hour, the sun is right behind you and he has to squint a little bit and use his hand as a shield to look at you properly. He looks a bit stupid like that, but you think he’s cute.

“Yeah?”

The warm feeling that spreads over your whole body at the sound of his voice is what gives you the confirmation that you want to say what you say next, and the courage to do it.

“Can I kiss you?”

His eyebrows raise slightly but he’s quick to hide his surprise and starts grinning instead, revealing those fangs of his you love so much. You have a feeling they’d leave the cutest marks on your skin. “Sure,” he says, letting his eyes drift down to your lips just like that other night.

So you do.

You lean in close enough to press your lips onto his, letting them touch for a brief second before leaning back again. A small pout forms on his lips at the fleeting contact. “That’s it?”

You could just eat him whole, you think. A kiss will have to do. “What did you want?” you ask, trying and failing to hide a smirk.

“That wasn’t a proper kiss.”

“Yeah? What’s a proper kiss then?”

He looks away with a huff. “I’m sure you know what a proper kiss is. Why would you ask to kiss me if you’re not even gonna do it properly…”

“How about you show me then?”

This makes him look promptly back at you, his eyes a bit wider. When he just gulps without saying anything, you add: “Or should I try again? Properly this time?”

He nods, eyes set on your lips. He’d always found them pretty and inviting, and he’d caught himself daydreaming about this exact moment a few times, but now that it was right in front of him, his brain was short-circuiting. All he could do was close his eyes and wait for you.

You find it cute how he screws his eyes shut before you’re even kissing him, making him look like a k-drama female lead during the first kiss scene. You can’t help but smile a little even as you bring your lips to his once again, this time a bit firmer, a bit deeper. He waits for you to move your lips against his before he does so too, but once he’s started, he’s unstoppable.

In fleeting conversations and off-hand comments, you’d learned that Sunghoon had had a couple girlfriends but that it always ended after a few months. When you’d accused him of “virgin behavior” after he did something embarrassing for an almost twenty-year-old, he’d fervently defended himself of very much not being virgin and very much having had sex before, which you’d said was what a virgin would say, but you knew he was saying the truth because he wasn’t the type to lie, especially about this sort of thing.

What was sure was that he kissed you like he knew what he was doing, and he was doing it well. His shy demeanor from a minute ago is completely gone as he tilts his head and deepens the kiss, holding you tight against him. His hands were shy at first, but when yours made their way to his hair so you could gently tug at the strands there, he understood he didn’t need to be so polite. One of his hands found your waist while the other cupped your cheek, his thumb coming under your chin to tilt it up towards him.

Your lips move against the others’ like you’d done this your whole life, and you’re unable to keep it Disney-friendly for long as your feelings and the fact that you were finally touching each other like you’d been wanting to take over any reason you had left. The kiss turns hungrier, needier, hotter, as if catching up on all that time you lost to dilly-dallying around each other. It’s easy to slip your tongue inside his mouth and you swear you hear him moan when your tongues come into contact, the small sound making your brain turn into mush and giving you one goal, and one goal only: hear him again.

You pull away and press a palm to his shoulder, and he lets you push him down on his back as you straddle his lips, positioning your core right over his growing erection and watching with a smirk as he bites his lips and furrows his eyebrows, humming at the feeling of you against him. You press your lips back against his and note with satisfaction that his movements are messier than before, kissing you mouth open and letting you take full control of the kiss, almost unable to focus on kissing you and on feeling you grind very lightly, almost teasingly against him. Slick pools in your underwear at the angelic sounds he’s making, and you’re very happy he doesn’t seem to be shy about being vocal because his moans are the prettiest sound you've ever heard.

You move away from his lips and trail wet kisses on his cheeks and jawline, moving down to his neck and his Adam’s apple, gently biting and sucking the skin at the base of his throat, enough to make him squirm underneath you but not enough to leave a mark, even though you’d love to, the thought of other girls seeing him all marked up because of you filling you with a sense of pride you didn’t know you could have.

You find his sweet spot at the juncture of his neck and his shoulder, so you kiss him more there, tracing the other side of his neck with your fingernails. He’s so sensitive and those actions alone are enough to have him whine a small “fuck, Y/N, that feels so good,” and you think you might actually go insane with lust for him.

You’ve just started kissing him on the lips again, his hands holding your hips so tightly you think they might almost bruise your skin and his kisses desperate and needy, when his phone buzzes. Taken aback, you pull away quickly, and he whines at the loss of contact. He goes in to kiss you again but you tut and tell him to check his phone in case it’s important. You note that he does what you say, and you wonder whether that’ll hold up for other situations. You observe him as he unlocks his phone and reads the text, and you curse yourself for waiting until he leaves to do this. You could’ve had him heaving, cheeks rosy, lips slightly swollen and eyes blown out for some weeks now, but your hesitation prevented you from doing anything, and now you’ll have to wait ten more days to see him like this again - that is, if he wants to do it again.

“It’s my mom,” he says with a sigh, snapping you out of your reverie. “She says I need to come home and pack my bag and have dinner.”

You pout at each other and he sits up, wrapping his arms around your middle and nuzzling his face in your neck. The rather intimate action surprises you a bit, but mostly you find it endearing, and it was pretty obvious Sunghoon would be the clingy type. You’re happy he feels comfortable enough around you to show this side of him - plus, it makes him ten times more adorable than he already was in your eyes.

“I want to go even less now,” he murmurs, voice muffled and you giggle at him as you caress his head.

“Same. But ten days will go by quickly, right? And I’ll be right here when you come back,” you say, leaning back so you can cup his face in your palms and look at him, his cheeks a bit squished. “You’re so cute,” you whisper with a smile, and the compliment makes his cheeks heat up but for once he doesn’t look away and keeps your gaze locked in his.

You peck his lips quickly and get off of his lap. “Right, we should go then,” and when he whines in protest, you add, “your mom will be mad, Hoon,” which is enough to convince him.

You head slowly back to the center and walk the horses to their stalls, talking about this and that as you often do, but you grow silent as you near his house, dreading having to say goodbye. The only difference with Friday night is that you’re standing at his door and not yours; the tension and heart-fluttering awkwardness are the same. Well, maybe not exactly the same, because you had your tongue down his throat just fifteen minutes ago.

“You’ll be alright when I’m gone, right?” he asks, taking your hands in his and letting them hang between you two.

“Yeah, I will. Plus, your parents’ friend is coming to take care of the club, right? I’ll help her, and I’ll hang out with my grandma while you’re on vacation and the ten days will be over before we know it,” you say, more trying to reassure yourself than him.

Sunghoon sighs but nods as if trying to convince himself too. “Right.”

“Right,” you repeat, and look up at him with a smile. The thought that this might look completely dramatic to any outsider crosses your mind, but you ignore it because you’re really not looking forward to spending ten days without Sunghoon here. When he comes back, you’ll only have three weeks left, and that simple fact already makes your heart ache.

He takes you in his arms and holds you close to him for a few moments. “Okay. I’ll see you soon, Y/N,” he whispers in your hair. “Don’t miss me too much. But not too little either. Just the right amount,” he jokes, and usually you’d have punched his chest or something but right now all you can do is chuckle. He pulls away and pecks you on the lips, and when you take a step back, he opens the door and waves at you goodbye, then disappears inside the house.

Not to be dramatic, but those ten days are probably the longest of your life. The Parks’ friend, Madame Rasson, is nice enough, and you enjoy helping her out and having dinner with her and your grandmother every night, but she’s no Park Sunghoon. You don’t really have the urge to gallop away with her and kiss at the top of a haystack as the sun sets behind you, nor do you feel like a small part of your heart stays with her when you’re not together.

Sunghoon calls you every night under the pretext of wanting to know how the horses are doing, but you know Mrs Park and Mme Rasson are keeping in touch and that he just wants to talk to you. You don’t call him out on it though and let him tell you about his day when he’s done pretending he cares about who did what and who went where. After a few days, as you’re nearing the end of a call, he tells you he misses you then hangs up right after as if he hadn’t been basically crying into your shirt about how much he didn’t want to leave and how much he’d miss you just a few days prior, but you just giggle and text him that you miss him too, which he texts a heart back to.

Yunjin also comes around one day, saying she missed horse riding and wanted to hang out again, so you show her around the club and go on a horse ride together, taking her to all the spots Sunghoon took you to, pointing with a giggle to the spot where you made out. She gasps when she hears that and lightly slaps your shoulder. “You two made out?” she says, surprise and excitement all over her face. You only giggle some more and nod, face heating up.

“I mean, it was obvious it would happen at some point. You guys were giving each other major heart eyes the other day.” You roll your eyes and say you weren’t even though you know you very much were. “Plus, the guys send a lot of voice messages on their group chat and I sometimes listen to them with Heeseung. The way Sunghoon talks about you is so cute it makes me want to throw up sometimes.”

The thought of Sunghoon talking about you to his friends makes your heart jump and swell with pride a bit. “Really? What does he say?” you ask, not looking at Yunjin to hide the stupid smile you’re wearing.

“He just talks about your day and what you guys did, but he’ll focus on a random thing like the way you said hi to the horses or how you ate your food and he’ll be like, it was the cutest thing ever. He doesn’t go into too much detail cause he knows the guys will make fun of him but it’s still really sweet. Heeseung told me he’s never talked about any other girl like that, you know,” she says, looking at you pointedly. “And you probably also know Sunghoon isn’t the easiest to get to know. But he’s clearly let you in, and he really wanted you to meet the boys, so I think he really, really likes you.”

You give yourself a few moments to process Yunjin’s words, but all you can say in the end is “Well, I really, really like him too,” and Yunjin laughs at you.

She stays over for dinner, charming your grandmother with her jokes and willingness to help, and spends the night as well. You two stay up until late talking about your families, school, how she met Heeseung and how cute you and Sunghoon are, and the fact that you have to stay quiet so as not to wake your grandma up makes you want to laugh even harder. When she leaves the next morning, she mentions that she saw the sea was really nearby and asked if you’d been.

“I haven’t yet, but Sunghoon did say he knew a spot and would take me sometime… I’ll ask him about it again,” you say, and she nods fervently, saying she hasn’t been to the beach forever. You hug each other goodbye and you wave at her until you can’t see her car anymore, and you get that empty feeling of being alone again, so you go find your grandmother and bother her with tons of questions which she answers patiently. Five days to go until Sunghoon comes back.

And then these five days are over, and Sunghoon finds you in the middle of the afternoon, taking a nap in your grandmother’s backyard and oblivious to the fact that the boy you like the most is back. He wakes you up by taking your sunglasses delicately off of your eyes and pressing his lips to the top of your head. You frown and open your eyes bit by bit until you recognise the boy hunching over you and then open your eyes all at once, sitting up in your lounge chair and wrapping your arms around Sunghoon’s neck, pulling him down towards you.

“Hi,” he giggles, chin hooked over your shoulder.

“You’re back!”

“I am.” He pulls away to peck your lips, and it’s like he hasn’t even left a day. “I’ll go get changed and check on Nellie and then we can go for a horse ride, if you want?”

You nod excitedly. “Sure. I’ll go get the horses ready.” You both rush to your respective destinations and meet again fifteen minutes later in the grooming hall just as you finish buckling Picasso’s saddle. Sunghoon pecks your lips once more just because he can, and then you’re off.

Sunghoon’s prepared a blanket so you could lie in the grass in the clearing. On your way there, you ask him about his vacation and he admits it was actually really fun. They drove down to Spain, spending a couple days in Barcelona and then a week in a smaller seaside town. In terms of weather and landscape, it wasn’t very different from their hometown, but the food was amazing and the people very welcoming, and Sunghoon and Yeji could finally put their years of learning Spanish in school to the test.

“I took a lot of pictures because there were so many things that reminded me of you or that I thought you’d like,” he admits bashfully, taking out his phone from his bag once you’re settled on the blanket. You rest your head on his chest and rest your hand on the side of his stomach, feeling the vibrations of his laughter against your ear and commenting on the pictures he shows you, giggling when he starts rapidly scrolling through fifteen consecutive selfies.

You try to keep up a conversation but it’s a bit hard to do when his neck is right there, close enough for you to press kisses on or to nuzzle your face in if you just lifted your head a bit, and his skin is soft and warm and you want to feel all of it under your palms. Even Sunghoon, who usually never shuts up when he’s with someone he’s comfortable around, is quiet. His sigh when you trail your hand up from his waist to his shoulder tells you he’s probably thinking the same as you, and as soon as you graze your fingers through his hair, he’s rolled you onto your back and his lips are on yours, kissing you with all the need that’s built up over the past ten days. You have a feeling just kissing won’t be enough to satisfy either of you today.

There’s a sense of urgency to all of your movements, the way all four hands are restless and travel each other’s body tirelessly, pulling on the other’s hair, kneading the skin here, caressing it here. Sunghoon bites down on your lower lip and the action makes you moan, so he takes that opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your kisses are open-mouthed and wet and messy, but you wouldn’t have it any other way because they translate all the desire you have for him and you want him to know exactly just how he’s making you feel.

You remember how much Sunghoon likes it when you compliment him, or tease him using your words, so you decide to do just that. When he starts trailing kisses your jaw, then sucking and biting at your neck, leaving tiny marks there, you whisper his name, making him hum.

“Hoon. I want you so fucking bad.”

You feel him trembling at your words and he nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck, whining as he continues pressing wet kisses there. He ruts his hips into yours, seemingly more by reaction than deliberately. “Want you too,” he murmurs, and slips his hands underneath your t-shirt, the flesh on your stomach burning everywhere his hands touch it. You lift your arms so he can take the piece of fabric off, and he’s quick to find the back of your bra as well, unclasping it and revealing your breasts to him.

In no time he’s already delving into your body, pretty pink lips circling and sucking on one of your nipples and deft fingers playing with the other, warmth spreading all over you at the intense pleasure he’s finally giving you, wetness already starting to make your underwear stick to your core.

Your fingers find purchase in his hair, pulling whenever it feels particularly good, and he seems to like the pain that comes with it because it’s enough to have him moaning around your nipple. “Fuck, Hoon, that feels so good,” you breathe out. Despite your praise and to your confusion, he pulls away, trailing kisses down your stomach until he reaches your shorts and looks up at you when his fingers are around the button, asking for confirmation to go further. He whispers “thank God” when you nod your head yes.

“Wanna make you feel good,” he says as he drags your shorts and underwear down at the same time, eyes fixated on your glistening folds.

You hold yourself up on your elbows, admiring him and his blown-out pupils and disheveled hair - he’s never looked hotter. “You already were, baby.”

“Wanna make you feel even better,” he says before diving right into your pussy, giving you no time to get used to the feeling as his tongue licks up a long stripe up your folds before finding your clit, alternating between giving it kitty-licks and sucking it. You’re a moaning mess in an instant, pulling even harder at his hair and sometimes holding onto his shoulders as if your body might start levitating at any moment. As if that didn’t already feel good enough, he then adds a finger, and quickly a second one into your hole, his thin and long digits feeling better than yours ever have. He must be some kind of fingering expert because he finds your g-spot in thirty seconds, pressing the sensitive spot again and again until you come apart for him in an embarrassingly quick orgasm, moaning his name and how good it feels like a broken record.

That doesn’t seem to be enough for Sunghoon, however, who doesn’t relent and sends your body into overstimulation until you find the energy to tell him to stop. “Was that good?” he asks innocently when his lips find yours again, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

“Was it good?” you repeat, almost scoffing. “Baby, it was amazing.”

“Really?” he asks, a childlike grin on his face that is worlds away from the things he just did to your body.

“Really. Let me show you how good it felt,” you say with a mischievous smile, pushing his shoulder down so you switch positions and he’s the one laying, back against the blanket. “Let’s get this all off, yeah?” you say, hands fiddling with the hem of his shirt, and when that’s gone, with the band of his sweatpants and underwear. He gulps when he’s fully naked under your curious gaze, but he’s brave and his eyes don't leave your face, patiently waiting for what you’ll say or do next.

“So pretty, Hoon,” you purr as your hands trail from his thighs up to his neck, applying some pressure there, not enough to cut off any oxygen but enough for him to feel it. “And all for me,” you add as you mark his neck just like he did yours, before pushing yourself down his body until your face is level with his now fully hard cock. You press wet kisses to his thighs and hear his breaths get shakier when your kisses get dangerously close to his crotch. “Haven’t even touched you, and you’re already this hard, baby?” you tease, and chuckle when his cock twitches at your words.

“Please,” he implores, voice small.

“Just a second, baby. Be good for me, yeah?” you ask and he nods, eyes screwed shut as if in pain. You had a feeling that Sunghoon might like to give control rather than have it, but you hadn’t thought he’d let you have full power over him like that. You can’t say you dislike it, though.

You don’t want to make him wait for too long, and the sigh of relief he lets out when you finally place your tongue on the base of his shaft and lick a stripe up is worth it. Your baby is loud and lets you know exactly what he likes, and what he likes is when you pay attention to his tip and his sensitive balls at the same time. You alternate between having your lips around his tip, hands massaging him, and your palm circling his tip, taking his balls in your mouth and letting them out with a pop. In just a few minutes, his whole body is shaking under your touch and his moans are getting louder and louder, almost shout-like. He calls out your name and pleads with you to stop, and you look up at him with a worried expression. Before you can ask if he’s okay, he says, “Wanna cum inside you,” and how can you refuse him when his blush has spread to his whole face and his eyebrows are furrowed in concentration and pleasure, trying his best not to cum?

“Of course, baby.”

He sits up and you straddle his lap, telling him you’re on the pill when he’s about to pull out a condom he’d sneakily brought from his bag. “Fuck, okay,” he says, voice shaky at the idea of feeling your bare walls around him.

You raise yourself over him, your arms wrapping themselves around his neck and his around your waist, you line your entrance up with his dick and then sit back down onto his lap, his cock stretching you out in the best way possible as it slips right in, your wetness serving as natural lube. You waste no time before moving your hips against his, first rocking them back and forth and then raising them up and down, the both of you letting out loud moans and breaths at the pleasure taking over your bodies.

“Y/N, feels so good, gonna cum quick,” he breathes out into the crook of your neck, biting the flesh there which feels surprisingly good.

“That’s okay baby, you’ve done so well, cum whenever you want.”

“Want you to cum too, though,” he whines, and you can’t help but chuckle.

“You already made me- fuck!” you scream out of surprise when Sunghoon’s hands suddenly grip your thighs tightly and he holds you steady like this as he ruts his hips up into yours, the angle hitting right where it needs to. Your brain can’t form sentences that make any sort of sense so you’re left blabbering praises and curses at the same time, feeling your second orgasm rapidly approaching.

“Fuck, baby, just like that, fuck- so close, Hoon…”

The feeling of your walls clenching as your high washes over you is enough for Sunghoon to tip over the edge as well, your releases mixing together in a loud and sticky mess. You’ve never felt closer to heaven as you do now.

The seriousness of it all soon starts to fade as you and Sunghoon lock eyes and burst into giggles, breathing still heavy and irregular. You help clean each other up and put your clothes back on, but you don’t head home until the sun has long set, feasting on the snacks and water he’d brought along.

You check the time before you go to bed that night. 00:57, Thursday 11th August 2022. Twenty days left with Sunghoon.

Eighteen days left with Sunghoon. Your last days together feel like a montage, like you’re watching a movie in which you play the lead role and you know the ending credits will have to start rolling at some point. You hate to be thinking that way, but the first thing you do when you wake up every morning is check the date and tell yourself how many days you’ve got left with your summer love. 19 days, 18 days. If Sunghoon feels a change in your attitude, how your gaze lingers more, how your touch softens, he doesn’t say anything.

You mentioned how you and Yunjin would like to go to the beach, so he called up his friends and got them to drive all the way over here. He said another time when you told him this is the perfect opportunity to show them his horse riding, and you didn’t push it.

He drives you all to what he calls ‘his’ beach spot, and indeed, it feels like it’s yours and yours only. It’s a bit of a trek getting there, having to walk up a dirt road and climbing some rocks before heading down to a small sandy beach where the sand is so hot it burns and the water only feels refreshing for two minutes, but you love it. He side-eyes Jake and Jay when you take off your dress and reveal your bikini-clad body, and barks at them to stop salivating even though they weren’t looking at you.

Yunjin on Heeseung’s shoulders, Jake on Jay’s and you on Sunghoon’s, the six of you play a tournament of who can make the others fall faster. Your boy has amazing balance, robust legs, a strong core, and decent (surprisingly impressive) arm muscles, so you win, a victory peck turning into a makeout session that everybody groans at, except for Jake who whoops.

You apply sunscreen on each other’s backs and complain that evening when you’ve got weirdly-shaped sunburns anyway, you along the lines of your swimsuit and him on the back of his knees. You eat the watermelon Jay brought and the boys spit black seeds at each other, not daring to do it to you or Yunjin after the stank look you gave them.

When you get home and everyone has driven off, neither of you is quite ready to call it a night yet. Sunghoon eyes the backseat of his car and you understand what he wants immediately. His skin smells like sun, sweat, sunscreen and sea water, and it’s all so him. It smells so good, it’s almost intoxicating, and you think you’ll never be able to get enough of his scent, of him. You won’t be able to look up at the bright star in the day sky or at an orange bottle of sticky sunscreen the same way ever again.

You’ve had many things in your life. You’ve had dolls, and you’ve had books and CDs. You’ve also had and still have friends, sometimes even boyfriends. You’ve had fun, and times that were not as fun. You’ve had sex. But you’ve not had anything like what you have with Sunghoon. He’s the one who gave you the intense feeling of truly loving and being loved, the insatiable craving of wanting more, the overwhelming need to see and talk to and feel and smell.

He’s the one who gave you the best summer of your life, and it’s the best thing you’ve ever had. It overpowers everything you’ve ever had to the point that it feels like it’s the first thing you’ve ever had; it might be the only thing you ever have, because you don’t understand how you could want anything else now that you’ve had him. He’s all you need.

Seventeen days left with Sunghoon. You’re having your joyful weekly dinner with your grandmother and the Parks when you feel something hit your foot gently. You feel it again, and when you look up at the boy sitting right across the table from you he’s trying to hide a small smile, but you know him too well to miss it. His clothed foot caresses the ridge of your own and you suppress a giggle at the ticklish feelings. You tease him back, and you realize you’re playing footsies at the ripe age of twenty years old, but it doesn’t bother you. You both end up failing at not laughing and when innocently, his mother asks, “what are you two laughing at?”, he coughs and says it’s an inside joke.

Fourteen days left with Sunghoon. The last two weeks of summer lessons have started again and Sunghoon and you can’t run around and lay in random fields at any time of the day anymore, but you still try your best to spend every waking second of the day together, to the despair of his fangirls. However, you still find moments where it’s the two of you in an empty stall and one exchanged look is enough for you to push him against the walls, your lips finding his in the fraction of a second. Sadly, before it can get too heated, a nearby horse always neighs or huffs as if telling you to get a room.

Twelve days left with Sunghoon. Conveniently, Sunghoon’s sister and their parents are out for the night at a party in celebration of the competition season that’s about to end, so you finally get to spend the night in his room. You technically could’ve done it before, but the house is old and the walls are thin, and you didn’t need that kind of humiliation.

Maybe Sunghoon feels that your time is slowly running to its end too, because as the days pass, he melts under your touch like a candle to a flame even more than before, he kisses your lips with more desperation and he holds your hips tighter as if you were going to disappear from between his hands at any moment. He always asks to please, please let’s cum at the same time and please, please say my name and you do it because you’d do anything for him.

You do it three times in a row, both of your bodies weak and sensitive with overstimulation yet unending desire, and you feel tears pouring down your cheeks as your third orgasm of the night hits you. There’s no way anything will ever feel as good as this. You tell him this, and he says, “I know.”

Seven days left with Sunghoon. He asks you what you’ll do when you go home, and you reply that you don’t know, because even though you’ve been thinking about what little time you have left together, you haven’t been thinking about the time after that, simply because it puts a bland feeling in your mouth whenever it crosses your mind. “I’ll start studying again and I’ll start my internship. I’ll get black out drunk at least once a month to forget all the stress and pressure of being a med student. I’ll think about you. That’s probably about it. What about you?”

“I’ll study too and I’ll have an assistantship at some point too. I’ll get drunk on Thursday nights and take care of the club during the weekends. I’ll think about you, too. More than you, I’m sure.”

“That’s not possible. You won’t ever leave my mind.”

“You won’t either,” he whispers.

Two days left with Sunghoon. He tells you you’re going camping for your last night together, not wanting to leave your side for even a second. “We’ve only got so much time left, we need to make the most of it,” he says, and you wished he knew that that had been your exact thought for the past twenty days.

That night, everything goes much slower than it usually does. You take your sweet time taking the clothes off of each other, reveling in discovering the smooth skin underneath the fabric as if you hadn’t seen it dozens of times by now. You find all of his moles and kiss them one by one, and he takes a full minute kissing down from your lips to your core. His thrusts are slow but deep, and your lips don’t leave the other’s the whole time.

Ten hours left with Sunghoon. You wake up the next morning when the sunlight the thin walls of the tent are unable to keep away gets too bright for your eyes’ liking. The warmth of this late August night has made you two drift apart while you slept, but you quickly find his body again and you wrap your arms around him, nuzzling your nose into the crook of his neck. He smells like sleep and like himself, which is comforting.

He calls out your name and you lift your head to look at him. When he doesn’t turn his head as well and only gives you his chin and jawline to look at, you know he’s about to say something important. Something he doesn’t dare to say while looking in your eyes.

Your mind goes back to all the times you’ve laid down next to each other and you hope that those will be what you see whenever you think of Sunghoon in the future. The sun not quite ready to call it a day, a slight breeze picking up, the hay a semi-comfortable mattress that sometimes poked you at the back of your neck and arms. Sunghoon right next to you. You were always happy then, hoping you wouldn’t regret anything later. You wouldn’t have known what to do to prevent that anyway.

All you know is you don't want your memory of Sunghoon to be tainted by this moment right now, this moment in which he avoids your gaze and your heart feels heavy because you’re leaving soon and you won’t get to have him in your embrace like this. You want to be happy when you think of him; you don’t want to feel his absence.

“Yeah?” you answer. He still doesn’t look at you, and you get a bit nervous.

He sighs a deep breath like you’ve never seen him do before. “Is it okay if I say something a bit selfish?”

You love him so much. You realize that maybe that’s what you’ll end up regretting. “Go ahead.”

“I wish you didn’t have to leave,” he says, and you almost laugh out of relief.

“That’s not selfish, Hoon. I don’t want to leave, either.” You reach for his hand and he lets you take it, your fingers intertwining immediately as if made to hold each other. To hold onto each other. He still doesn’t look at you, and you know there’s something more there.

“It’s selfish because I’m scared I’ll resent you for leaving,” he says, voice a whisper.

Ah. There it is.

You squeeze his hand, wordlessly asking him to go on. He takes another breath, a shakier one this time, and he chuckles at the tears he feels pooling in his eyes. “You showed up here out of nowhere and you made me so, so happy. You listened to me and got me to open up, which I usually hate doing. You told me that I was good, that you were proud of me. And now you’re leaving and no one will tell me those things anymore.” The first crack in your heart happens when you hear his voice quiver at the end of his sentence.

“You don’t need me to tell you those things. You know them now, and you have yourself,” you try to reassure him.

The second crack happens when he finally turns to look at you, lips trembling and eyes full of tears. “But I want you to tell me those things.” It takes everything in you to not burst into tears, but you want to be strong for him. For the both of you.

“I can still tell you those things. Phones exist, you know.” A small smile appears on your lips as you try to alleviate the tension. Sunghoon’s eyebrows crease and he pouts his lips; you can tell he doesn’t want to laugh in this moment, but the nudge you give him and your smile make his facade break.

You laugh as he whines, telling you this is a serious moment and to not make him laugh. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you say between chuckles and you wrap your arms around him, bringing him to lay his head on your chest. You kiss the top of his head and graze your fingers through his hair. “Laughing is all I can do to stop myself from crying, baby,” you whisper. When you feel a tear roll down your cheek, you add, “And it’s not even working that well.”

Sunghoon buries his face deeper between your breasts and sobs. No more, no less, he sobs, loud, choked sobs that make his whole body shake against yours, and you hold him as tight as you can so that they don’t break him in two. “I’m gonna miss you so much,” he manages to say, and that’s when the third and final crack happens and your heart shatters. It breaks into a million tiny pieces that fall all over your body; some of them make their way to your throat while others travel to the tips of your fingers and others lodge themselves behind your knees or in the pits of your stomach. Your heart breaks into sharp pieces and you feel them piercing under your skin everywhere. You feel like you’re gonna throw up.

You and Sunghoon aren’t even technically dating. You’ve known each for two months. You live far, but not halfway across the world; you can see each other again. You will see each other again. It’s not supposed to hurt that much, yet it hurts even more than that.

“I know, baby, I know,” you whisper into his hair. “I’ll miss you so much too. But we’ll see each other again, right? Paris isn’t that far away.”

His sobs calm down and you hear him sniffle as he catches his breath. “Paris isn’t far away, but we’ll be worlds apart. You’re going to study and become a doctor, and I’ll stay here. You know what medical school is like, you’re going to be flooded with work for at least four more years. I can’t expect you to stay in touch all the time.”

“Well, it doesn’t need to be all the time, does it? I’d annoy you if it was.”

“You could never annoy me,” he says, and it makes you laugh. He’d never have said this two months ago.

“Plus, I’ll still get time off. I can come back next summer.”

He raises his head to look at you and you can see all the hope and sadness in his puffy eyes. You want to kiss away the tear stains on his cheeks. You want to right everything wrong just to see him smile again. “Next summer?” he echoes in a small voice.

“Next summer,” you promise, a smile you hope is comforting on your lips.

Next summer doesn’t work out. The one after that either. Your internship is going swimmingly, and so is his assistantship, and you simply don’t have the time to make a trip all the way down there. A part of you is also worried that if you see him again, you won’t have the force to leave.

Those years you don’t see him, you’re reminded of the ten days you were apart during that summer, and how you’d felt like he’d kept a small piece of your heart with him, because it still feels that way. There’s something that’s keeping you tethered to that summer, something that the strongest scissors or the sharpest knife in the world couldn’t break.

For a short period of time, he was all you needed. But reality quickly seeped back in, and now you needed good grades and then a good job, a decent flat, a decent income. You didn’t need anyone like you needed him, but you still wanted them because even if they weren’t as pretty, or as patient, or as kind as your Sunghoon, they were still good, and sometimes that was all you could ask for. You were always sorry that you couldn’t give them your whole heart, because a piece of it had stayed in the south of France and you didn’t have the courage to march down there and demand it back. Selfishly, you hoped you also kept a piece of Sunghoon’s heart in yours.

You did call once in a while, but those calls made both of you more sad than happy, and after a couple years the calls were so spaced out that they only happened on birthdays and special events. The next time you see him, it’s five years later, at your grandmother’s funeral. You can only stay for three nights and you spend most of your time there with relatives, celebrating your grandmother’s life, so you don’t see him much. When you do, you get to catch up for a few hours. He’s almost done with vet school and he’s specialized in equine studies. He’s an intern at the horse vet in Laroque which means he gets to stay in the center and help his parents out. Yeji is on her way to becoming one of the best in the country, he adds with a proud smile. You’re finishing up your last years as an intern in a Paris hospital, but you haven’t changed your mind about becoming a general practitioner, which you need just a few more years of experience for. You don’t miss how his face falls slightly when you tell him you have a boyfriend and that you’re thinking of getting engaged to him. He tells you he’s happy for you with the saddest eyes. The hug he gives you when you have to leave brings back so many feelings and memories, and even after all these years there’s nothing more that you want to do than stay in his arms and never move again.

You break up with your boyfriend as soon as you get home.

On a random Thursday, you’re done with your decade-long studies, and you’re free to go out into the world, a medical diploma in hand. You get a job in a cabinet owned by a friend of your parents, and you like the job, but you know you’re just passing the time until the opportunity you’ve been waiting for comes around.

Every week, you check whether a spot opens up for a general practitioner in the small town of Laroque-des-Albères. It doesn’t for about eighteen months, until suddenly it does, and in a week you’re packing your bags and taking that trip you took twelve years ago.

Sunghoon doesn’t even know. He could be married with a wife and three kids, for all you know, and it’s foolish but you hope he’s been waiting for you. He’s just finishing up a health check on some of the older horses when you get out of your car, eyes finding him immediately. From the other side of the courtyard, he smiles at you, and it’s like the summer you first fell in love all over again.

permanent taglist: @ozymandia-s @bbujiikseu @sd211 @lalalalawon @sunghoonmybeloved @w3bqrl

#sunghoon x reader #enhypen x reader #sunghoon smut #enhypen smut #sunghoon fluff #enhypen fluff #sunghoon angst #enhypen angst #sunghoon au #enhypen au #sunghoon fanfiction #enhypen fanfiction

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ronearoundblindly · 1 month

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Hideout (4.2)

touch-starved!Nomad Steve Rogers x motel employee!Reader

Horny Teen, part two (see previous or series)

Summary: A late-summer heat wave hits you and Steve hard.

Warnings for smut (kinda unprotected sex, momentarily--guess that's dubcon to be safe--fingering, lots of foreplay things and dirty talk but Steve can't actually talk dirty, so...hot talk? IDK, gang, I 'bout died writing this. Prepare thy loins, babes). MINORS DNI. There is plenty for you to read on my Light Masterlist, but this series is not for you! WC 3.1k

A/N: This part contains a cannibalized version of the original idea for this series, but since we've developed differently to this point, it is very different.

He calls ahead. For the first time in a year of visiting, he calls ahead and knows you aren’t working the night he’ll be here.

You work in the garden as long as you can stand before hopping in a cool shower. You aren’t even wrapped in a towel when the trill of your room phone—extension 14, as Steve now knows it—blares through multiple closed doors.

He’s checked-in, and in Room Two, but no pressure, if you want, if you don’t have plans, he’s here. It is the most adorable and awkwardest conversation of all time. It also never gets old to hear him scramble for the simplest of sentiments.

Translation: I’m excited to see you.

Your heart soars then immediately stalls in the stifling weather.

“I’ll be down in a few minutes,” you chuckle.

Of course, he opens his arms for a bear hug the instant the door labeled ‘2’ swings wide. Steve has fewer troubles with platonic affection when alone, that’s for sure, but who could blame him? You’re elated he’s here under any circumstances.

Record-setting heat this late in the summer has left all the AC units taxed to the brink, running constantly, and even with the in-room thermostat set stupidly low, a tank top and shorts is too much.

This means another first: both of you, in bed, naked.

Nothing’s happened, mind, because the swelter of the day zapped energy out of every creature for miles and miles around. The ice machine can’t keep up with eight rooms and your family needing relief from the blaze. From the bright stripe of red across Steve’s cheeks and his earthy musk, he was outside plenty. He’s wiped, too.

You wonder absently when the last time he wore cologne was and what it smelled like. Perhaps he never used it. Perhaps he misses small luxuries more than he ever realized.

Steve looks on the brink of heat-stroke, so you inched yourself onto one side of the bed to start, thinking skin-to-skin contact might be unwelcome. You barely got your palms on the sheets before he pulled you to him. You did not fight it.

It’s meant to be a profound comfort—your weight atop him—and it is.

Your cheek settles on his chest, eyes watching through the sheer curtains as dusk takes over the sky, a happy man stretched like a cat beneath you, smiling, heart beat slowing in your ear. So strong, so steady, so secure.

He’s safe. He’s comfortable. That’s all that matters.

You peer up from your perch. The thin worry lines on his forehead have relaxed. He seems younger. Freedom looks good on Steve Rogers, just as good as it looks on Captain America, maybe better.

You fall asleep straddling his hips, one knee hitched so the crook of your ankle drapes his thigh, slowly pushed up and down by his deep breaths.

You’re drifting, rocked gently by powerful waves in the nothingness of your blank mind, free like him, blooming in the warmth of a bright sun embracing you.

The glow continues until Steve gently shakes you awake.

The room is pitch black, the lights of the parking lot too muted to pass through the gossamer layer over the window.

“You’re…you were squirming a lot. Thought you might be having a nightmare,” his rough timber booms close to your ear.

“No, I—“ you wipe at your face “—I don’t think I was dreaming.”

Steve’s not so relaxed under you now. His abs quake slightly, and those slow breaths have become stunted, shallow with control.

“Did you?” you ask, looking towards his face, useless in the dark but your drowsy brain hasn’t caught up yet.

There’s a shuffling noise above you.

“Is that a ‘yes?’ Did you have a nightmare? You alright?”

The shuffling repeats, accompanied by a strangled “yes,” and you lift your arm to brace on his chest. It unhooks your leg from his, and the hard length of his erection moves from its perch at your ass, nudging the joint of your hip and thigh from below.

“Not—not a nightmare,” he whispers. “Just ignore it.”

Steve’s voice is husky, his grip on the back of your knee tight and unyielding, keeping you from trapping him between your legs.

Your impulse is to soothe him, to tell him he is fine and it is okay to be turned on, generally, when naked and pressed to someone you find attractive—hell, you definitely are—but if he wants you to ignore it, if he’d rather not, if it’s too soon or too hot (metaphorically, physically) or just too much right now, then you respect that. None of this has ever been about making him feel like how he chooses to receive affection is wrong.

Without moving any limbs, your fingers retract and relax, a gentle, nailless scratch to his broad pec beneath your hand, and his cock twitches, tapping your leg.

“Sorry,” Steve huffs.

“Do you want me to get off of you?” You suppress the urge to make a minor edit in that statement because it’s very close to what you want to do.

The shuffling noise sounds different.

“No,” he says softly.

You slide your hand up his chest to his neck and around the back of his head, petting the corner of his bearded jaw just below his ear, careful to use as few muscles as possible.

His cock taps you again anyway. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

You ignore it, as asked, and continue scratching lightly at his scalp.

“Hey,” you start in the darkness, “is this comfortable?”

You run your fingertips over his features while he nods, following his jaw up and down.

Unable to see, this paints the most vivid picture of Steve’s reactions. You feel the vibration of a hum through his cheek, the draw and release of his brow as you skate over his forehead. You hear his short chuckle when you brush ever-so-gently across his long lashes and boop his nose. Finally, you trace his open-mouth smile with the edge of your thumb, his ragged exhale rushing over your palm.

Tap.

“Sorry.”

“Comfy though?”

His voice is deeper than you’ve ever heard it. “Yeah.”

The drag of your fingers past the edge of bristly stubble and down his throat makes him shiver.

Twitch.

“Sorry.”

You flutter across his collarbone, wondering if that means he’s ticklish on more than just his sides.

“Comfy?”

He hums. You feel it rattle your cheek as much as you actually hear it in your ears.

You continue. His corded muscles giving only slightly to the pressure of your touch. His arm, his chest, down to the hand he keeps on your leg.

Several more breathy apologies sound above you. Steve’s other arm is draped over your waist, and with every pulse of need that betrays him, his grip tightens just a little. His fingers now dig into your soft flesh absently.

It’s hard to hide how desperate he’s made you, but the issue is mutual based on how his abs won’t stop tensing, searching for attention where he denies it.

You flatten your hand to his chest and make to move.

“May I?”

Steve’s swallow is louder than the ‘okay’ he returns.

You are careful not to push him in any weird angles as you raise up to your knees and straddle him, pinning his erection beneath you, not directly between your folds but nestled at the apex of your legs, just so he won’t have to worry about every involuntary poke.

With such fresh contact, he clenches his ass hard in response, lifting your whole weight completely before he settles again. The surge of heat to your core has you biting your lip to muffle a moan.

“Comfy?” you rasp at the same moment Steve offers a strangled “sorry.”

The low, constant whine of the air conditioner fills the hollow space around your cocoon of anticipation.

“New plan,” you laugh, relaxing your fingers to splay across his warm skin, “both of us stop doing that, huh? You have nothing to be sorry for, and I’ll trust you to tell me if you aren’t comfortable.”

“So…” Steve shuffles on the sheets, but whatever he moves doesn’t affect your position. “Can I touch you?”

You bite your lip harder before answering, your voice dropping to a sweet reassurance. “Yes. Of course you can, Stevie.”

You keep your pets of his chest and arms light, trying not to tickle him. He’s always so hesitant; you’re worried the tiniest misstep will send him back into his head—not in a good way.

The silence now feels purposeful, dense with possibility, and then rough fingertips land like a foreign explorer who’s braved months at sea solely to experience this moment.

A calculated inhale and exhale rock your pelvis, a wave of nerves foaming in your gut.

He starts innocently enough, mapping your thighs, muttering something about how soft they are, but you don’t dare lean to hear him better. No sudden movements. None. Even though your skin lights up as explosive as those 4th of July fireworks you missed.

Since there’s nothing to see in the room, you feel everything.

He keeps to the periphery of you at first, abandoning your legs to brush the same arms touching him, running fingers together, separating them just as quickly, caressing your palms gently, and dragging his short nails up your wrists without pressure.

You stiffen in pleasure, fighting not to shrink away from the purest intimacy you’ve ever experienced.

His long arms reach the curve of your shoulders, flit across your collarbone, and you’re doing your damndest to keep it together, leaning your head back in lieu of talking.

Don’t scare him.

It can’t last; you’re only human.

Steve’s hands slowly descend over your breasts, middle fingers catching your peaking nipples, and a lewd and aching cry tumbles from your bitten lips.

The force of it surprises you, but more surprising still is him, unfazed, encouraged to linger.

In that low timber, he growls.

“You like that… Knew you would.”

Your body throbs, pulsing with need and emptiness.

That means he thinks of you. He’s imagined this. He’s wanted this.

Stunning electricity shoots through your body as he pinches and twists, squeezes and kneads. Nothing too harsh, but he’s highly motivated when you purr and gasp atop him.

What else does he think about doing? How long has he fantasized? Is this as good as his imagination?

Yours aren’t the only noises now. He sounds tortured with little pleas and whimpers escaping before each guttural moan.

Arousal pools at your folds, and without realizing you started to move, the shy momentum of your hips has nudged his length to lay flush with your dripping center. His tip glides over your clit.

Again and again.

A hot pressure builds in you, faster than ever, kerosene dumped on your wet-dreams and burned to life, a spell manifest in the night.

Steve shakes beneath the palms you brace flat on his chest, the heels digging into his diaphragm.

He moves to grip your thighs hard.

Fire spreads beneath your skin as you two pant and gasp, his whole cock slick and slotted so close to where you truly long for him.

“Wait,” Steve groans, but you can’t understand.

No one could imagine how good this feels, how much you need this, how—

He sits up to stop you, accidentally notching himself at your entrance, your residual motion sliding the thick head of him past the that first, tight ring.

Steve’s lusty moan is barely eclipsed by your own, and you’re too close to halt sheathing him within you, arms instinctively wrapping his shoulders. Desire winds the coil in your belly too taut, the thought of losing this climax unbearable.

“N-uhhh god—“

He’s too sensitive though. He flips you both so your back crashes to the soft sheets and digs his grip into your side, his other hand thumping to anchor on the headboard. Steve sucks air through his teeth like he’s afraid the faintest smell of sex will set him off.

“Don—don’t move,” he orders in thick command.

It makes things worse.

You’re so close, vaulting off the ground and suspended by legs clamped around his waist, dangling on the precipice of ecstasy. You whine and clench, totally unable to control yourself, your nails digging into his back.

Steve cries out, choked at the hilt by your desperation and lost to his own finish.

His hand races from your side to your ass. He pulls out of you only to slot himself there and thrust his cock between your cheeks, cum shooting on the sheets below.

Mindlessly, you ride the cut of his abs, his course pubic hair adding almost enough friction to keep ascending toward your own end, but the void left behind is too consuming. The fire sputters and dims.

Steve buries his face in your neck, breath cooling the sweat lining your skin as he curls away from you, overwhelmed.

“Swear I was gonna wait,” he confesses to the tender spot behind your ear. “I swear.”

“Please,” you croak, tears prickling your eyes in lament for your ruined orgasm.

“Was gonna be better. Swear I’ll do better for you.”

You grope and claw at those thick arms which hold all but his face far away. “Please,” you beg pathetically, “fucking touch me, please.”

A drawn out grunt vibrates the column of your throat.

“Y’shouldn’t have ta beg...”

He shifts to his forearm, caging you in as you plead over and over. He kneels to hover, and your thighs weakly squeeze at his own to emphasize what you need.

“Sounds so pretty when you do…”

Something between a screech and a snarl erupts from your chest.

Steve shushes you, smoothing a big hand across your damp cheek, and quietly, he commands you, “show me what to do.”

Your quivering hold guides him by the wrist down your body. Words to instruct him won’t form in your sex-steeped brain. As luck would have it, he doesn’t need specifics.

“Next time I’ll taste you.” One finger teases your folds in search of his entrance. “Next time you’ll have to beg me to stop.” Two fingers drive forward, displacing a gush of your shared juices. “So wet,” he groans, agonized to silence when you jerk his hand to thrust faster.

“More.”

He sets a loving and delicate pace, the heel of his palm working your clit.

Too delicate.

“More,” you gasp.

He obliges, muttering how good he’ll be to you from now on. You’ll always be first. He promises.

The fire takes over again.

“More, Stevie. Please.”

You grind down on him to prove your point, and he marvels that this isn’t too rough for you.

Each strangled breath ties your moans together in a crescendo worthy of Carnegie Hall.

“God,” he rumbles by your ear again, “I know that sound. You’re close, aren’t you?”

Steve’s pumping fingers bully your body farther and farther up the bed, using only a taste of his real strength.

Your chant of ‘yes’ catches in your taxed lungs. He doesn’t need an answer though.

The super-stretched band snaps, a plateau of peace and weightlessness tipped at the vertex until—crash—nerves are razed all along you like a carpet-bombed battlefield.

“Uhnn, is that what you’re gonna feel like around me?” He sighs at the thought and stills his hand just to commit the ripple to memory. “How’m I s’pose to last?”

You slap a hand over his mouth, trying and failing to hold in your yelp of relief.

That mouth…that fucking mouth of his is a weapon all its own.

Tiny explosions wreak havoc on you, body and soul, as his fingers greedily coax you to keep coming—just a little more—just for him—one last rush—give him everything.

His lips open in your palm, but you grip his face harder.

You can’t. You can’t listen right now. You can’t hear one more dangerously sexy, completely innocent thing fall from his beautiful mouth.

Steve lets his hand go lax but doesn’t take it away from your clenched and spasming thighs.

He tries to speak again then gives up, waiting.

Finally, before you can collapse boneless to the bed, he hooks his arm behind your leg so you don’t land on the cold, cum-stained sheets.

He shakes off your forgotten grip of his jaw.

“Tops?” he whispers, patience personified in the long pause before you hum acknowledgment. “Can I kiss you?”

That fucking mouth…

There’s barely enough breath in you to make a sound, but the instant the ‘ye—’ forms in the back of your throat, Steve’s lips are on yours.

It's your first real kiss, of all the ways, after all this time, following all that.

You’d laugh if you weren’t smiling, suffocating in the gentle press that becomes deep and adoring. He kisses you thoroughly after each frantic gasp for air, savoring you, even in the reckless passion of the moment.

Steve rolls to lay you atop him again, more intimately than before. He keeps his face close, sharing breath even in the heat and stench of sex in the room, your wetness now smeared from his navel to his knee.

Turns out, he is a very good kisser, focusing on the act of physical connection. Not only do your lips touch, but he likes to nudge you into whatever minutely different position with his nose. He likes to nuzzle his beard on your sensitive skin until you giggle and squirm. He relishes you like you relish him.

He whispers things too soft to make out at first. It takes him a while to find his voice, to push past his insecurities, to find his confidence, but eventually, you hear it.

He mumbles how he should have been better, more prepared.

You weave all your fingers through his hair, propped on his chest by your elbows, smiling so he’ll be able to tell in your tone.

“Take the win, Cap.”

You freeze.

You’ve never called him that, and Steve stays silent for an excruciating beat.

“Sorry,” you offer in the dark, air conditioner churning out sobering drafts of reality.

Steve runs his knuckles gently in patterns across your bare back. There’s a short huff and an amused snort, you mind scrambling to plan some explanation as to why you’d haul the drama of out there into his safe space.

He guides you to settle against him again, tucking you into his strong hold with his chin resting on your forehead.

After what feels like an eternity, he simply asks, “comfy?”

A/N: In case you were wondering...

[Next part: Desperate Man, part one]

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bahrtofane · 2 months

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jude who can’t contain his excitement when you get to see him play in person for the first time

(he wanted to get you box seats and you refused. he’s still upset and moping)

he’s so nervous though, unable to stop worrying about just how good he’ll be. what if he sucks today ?

the one day you come to see him and he completely preforms like shit

not good. not good at all

he thinks he’s bitten off every inch of nail he has from both hands, wrung the sleeve of his jacket till it’s completely crumpled and one summer breeze away from incineration

he also is just a little worried for you. he knows you can handle your own just fine, but sue him for caring. soccer fans can get real rowdy, trust he knows

(if you would’ve taken the box seats…)

he face times you before he heads in to get ready, wide smile as you wave to him from your taxi

“i’m so excited!” you beam

his smile softens, “me too. i’ll be lookin for you in the crowd yeah?”

“just look for the bellingham jersey,” you tease

his eyes go wide, “you got my jersey?”

you look away now. shy, “of course i did. who else?”

“right right, “ he coughs,”be safe yeah?”

“will do. score a goal for me?”

“will do.” he repeats

it turns out spotting you isn’t that hard when he’s in there. and he does in fact score of goal, points right at you and your heart swells

everyone else may think nothing of it. but you don’t think you’ll ever stop thinking of it

and jude is just thankful he didn’t eat shit and fall on his face half the time. a win in a win

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greatooglymooglyyy · 2 months

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The Last Ride Chapter One (AU Cowboy!C.Sturniolo)

summary: when spoiled and sheltered city girl Y/N finds herself in running in the wrong crowd, her dad gives her an ultimatum. it's either spend the summer of her gap year on her uncle's ranch or face being cut off and finding a job. just when she thinks it can't get any worse, she meets Chris, the brooding farmhand who thinks he knows her type. but as the summer goes on, they both realize there may be more to the other than meets the eye.

requested and advised by @rootbeerworshiper

contains: cussing, family issues, arguing, bickering, emotional manipulation, 2.3k words

a/n: so fucking nervous and excited for this series guys. love ya so much. this is crazyyyy

series masterlist (reading the prologue is v rec'd)

******************

“Irresponsible-”

“Dad-”

“Wreckless-”

“Dad. I’m-”

“Inconsiderate!”

I sigh and close my eyes, letting my body slouch down in his office chair. I thought the fact that he sent me upstairs last night without a word meant he was going to be calm and collected this morning, but nope. I’ve been sitting here for twenty minutes while he’s been ranting and raving at me, not even giving me the chance to defend myself.

“Dad,” I say when he pauses again and stares at me. “I get it okay. I fu-” I clear my throat, wincing at the look he gives me. “I messed up. I’m sorry.”

He walks around his desk, takes his seat in front of me, and studies me for a second. When he speaks again, his voice is free of anger and instead just full of sadness. “I don’t think you are. Do you understand that you and your friends set production back three weeks on the warehouse? Construction was supposed to start Monday but now I have to tell the crew it’s been delayed. Do you care at all about that?”

I scrunch my nose up in annoyance and confusion. “Okay? It’s just a few weeks, Dad. I’m sure they’ll be fine. Look, can I go now? I broke my nail last night and I really need to-” He slams a hand down on the desk, startling me into silence.

“Y/N! Be quiet!” He pinches the bridge of his nose, attempting to regain composure. “Three weeks can be everything to someone who needs a job. But it’s my fault you don’t understand that. I’ve spent your life trying to make sure you had everything you ever wanted but I should have been teaching you what it means to work for it.” He takes a deep breath and then stands, crossing his arms and nodding as if deciding on something. “But that’s about to change.”

I stare back at him, my mouth slightly ajar still from the shock of his tone. He’s never been this angry with me before and I don’t know how to handle it.

“What do you mean?” I ask cautiously.

“I’m going to pay my crew for the time that they’re missing. And you,” he gestures at me theatrically “are going to pay me back every cent. I’m sending you to your Uncle Buck’s ranch to work off your debt.”

I stare at him blankly and tilt my head, thinking I must have heard him wrong. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Dad!” I laugh with incredulity. “You want to send me to work in Nowhere, Louisiana? That is so not fair.”

He rolls his eyes at me. “That town is where I was raised. It has a way of teaching you lessons that you clearly need right now.”

I square my shoulders at him, a defiant twinkle in my eye before I give him a strong “No.”

“Wasn’t a question, darling.”

“No!” I say, standing now. “You can’t make me.”

He narrows his eyes at me and then takes a step back. “You’re right about that. You are eighteen now so I can’t make you. But that means I can cut you off completely. No car. No money. Nada. And that’s exactly what I'll do if you don’t go.”

My eyes widen and I blink profusely at him gauging his seriousness but he’s as earnest as I’ve ever seen him. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes but instead of standing here crying, I just storm out of his office and run up the stairs.

“Good idea.” He calls behind me. “You should pack. Your flight leaves in 22 hours.”

*************

My dad puts the car in park and looks over at me but I refuse to meet his eye.

"I cannot believe you are doing this to me.”

He sighs, placing a hand on my shoulder. “This isn’t something I’m doing to you, honey. This is something I’m doing for you. I love you but I don’t know if I like this person you’re becoming and I don’t think you do either.” My eyes start burning at this and I snatch away from him, hopping out of the car to grab my luggage. Dad meets me at the trunk, silently pulling out my suitcase and placing it on the ground.

I finally lock eyes with him and give him a hard look. “I am never going to forgive you for this.”

He winces slightly but sets his jaw stubbornly. “That’s a chance I’ll just have to take. I’ll see you at the end of the summer.”

I don’t respond, just grabbing my luggage and heading into the airport.

When I get through security, I have a seat in my section and pull out my phone to check the time on my boarding pass. I get a new message and sigh, finally filtering through the bullshit my friends have sent me.

Jace 🥵

hey baby are you okay? my bad about the party. you know i get on that shit. but never again, ok?

u up? i’m so fucking horny

Lydia 👯‍♀️

OMFG GIRL! Thank you so much for not telling your dad I was there. My mom would have literally canceled my Dubai trip. I love you FOREVER. Call me so I can tell you what Dylan said last night!

Brielle 💋

Hey. I’m so fucking sorry for leaving you. It was so shitty of us. Please let me know you’re ok?

I scoff at my phone and block them all one by one before turning my phone off. Maybe a couple of months away won’t be such a bad thing after all.

*************

On second thought? No. It absolutely is. I look around in horror at what must be the smallest airport in the United States. There’s not even a baggage claim. I literally have just to wait while some guy brings out the luggage one by one.

When I’m finally outside, I look around for the car my Uncle was supposed to be sending but all I see is pickup trucks and dirt. I pull out my phone to call Dad when someone speaks up.

“Y/N?”

I look up to see a boy around my age looking a bit impatient. He has the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen, crystal blue like the early morning sky. He’s wearing a simple flannel shirt, some well-worn Wranglers, and a trucker hat. When I bring my eyes back up to his face, he gives me a look that says I’ve been quiet for too long and I snap out of it.

“Yes! Thank god. I thought they forgot about me.”

“Nah. Your uncle sent me. I’m Chris.” He says around the toothpick hanging out his mouth. Chris reaches for my suitcase and I let him take it, following him to the car. He moves quickly and I rush to keep up. Kind of rude for a driver.

“Don’t you guys usually have a sign or something?” I look him up and down before adding, “And dress a little less… dingy?”

He stops looking over his shoulder at me and I stop in my tracks before I can slam into him.

“Excuse me?” He says, clearly offended.

“I just mean, in LA at least, chauffeurs are usually-”

“Chauffeur?” He cuts me off with an abrupt laugh. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

I look around the parking lot for emphasis. “Well, what else am I supposed to think? You’re picking me up from the airport!”

“Damn girl, you really are out of touch. I’m doing your uncle a favor. You’ve never picked a friend up from the airport before?” He tosses my suitcase in the bed of his Ford F150 and heads around the truck as I feel myself reddening. I open the passenger door and pause, noticing how grimy the interior is and not wanting to get my skirt dirty.

Chris watches me with unconcealed amusement. “You can walk if you’d like. It’s only a cool 25 miles. I’m sure it’ll be a breeze in those shoes.”

I roll my eyes and hop in, mentally adding ruining a Coach skirt to my dad’s list of sins. Chris cracks up the car and to my surprise, instead of country music, a rap song starts up. I look over at him impressed. “You know LUCKI?”

He rolls his eyes and takes off his hat, scratching his head. “We have the same internet you do.”

“Not with that shirt you don’t,” I mutter under my breath, turning to look out the window. There’s nothing to see but fields, dead grass, and the occasional horse grazing so I turn back to Chris.

“Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot.” I start, but he interrupts me.

“Nah. You’re exactly what I expected.”

I narrow my eyes at him, sitting back in the seat. “Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

He counts them off, tapping the steering wheel as he does. “Entitled. Bratty. Unprepared.” He says the last one with a pointed look at my outfit.

I laugh without humor and clap. “Wow. All of that in ten minutes, huh? Okay, let me try." I tap my finger on my chin pretending to think. "You’re a backwater hillbilly whose idea of a vacation is driving out to Texas. You had big dreams of leaving this piece of shit town, but whoops! You’re still here.” I glance in the backseat, spotting a booster seat, and go for the kill shot. “What was it, hm? Babymama drama?”

Chris scowls at me, his eyes full of distaste. “You shouldn’t speak on shit you have no idea about. That seat’s for my sister. But thank you for proving my point. Why don’t we add judgy to that list?”

I snap my mouth shut and avert my eyes mutter a quiet, "Whatever." before reaching for my purse to popping in my AirPods. From my peripheral, I see Chris smirk and turn up the radio. When I’m sure he’s not looking, I chance a glance at him. He’s rapping the words of the song softly, bopping his head to the beat. I trail my eyes over his jaw, noticing the stubble lining it. Chris flicks his gaze over at me and I immediately look away, chastising myself.

He might be cute… Who am I kidding? He’s gorgeous. But he’s not worth a minute of the trouble. I sigh deeply and let my head fall against the headrest, closing my eyes and letting the music take over.

*************

I sigh in relief when we come to a stop in front of my Uncle’s house. It’s been years since we’ve been back here, I was only eight the last time, but hardly anything has changed.

The land still seems huge to me, stretching out several hundred acres; which is beyond impossible in LA. The house is beautiful, even though it’s clearly old, a rustic-style home with red shutters and a wraparound porch. My dad told me once that my grandpa built it all by himself as a wedding gift to my granny. My heart tugs a bit at the reminder of them and I push it away and hop out of the truck.

Chris is already pulling my luggage out of the bed when I come around and I go to take it, muttering a quiet thank you, before I hear my name being called.

“As I live and breathe, if it isn’t my bunny!” My Aunt Birdie calls from the screen door before stepping out onto the porch. I grin at the old nickname and drop the suitcase, running up the few stairs to hug her. She nuzzles me into her arms and I can’t believe how much I’ve missed these hugs without knowing it.

“My my. Aren’t you as pretty as a magnolia in May?” She coos when she pulls back, pressing a palm to my cheek. I beam at her and she calls over her shoulder for my uncle.

She lets me go, moving past me to speak to Chris.

“And thank you, darlin', for getting her for us. You know how that truck of ours likes to kick up a fuss somethin’ fierce.” She says, placing a hand on his shoulder as he walks past her carrying the luggage.

“You know it’s no trouble.” He says politely and I scoff, causing both of them to look at me. I cover it up with a cough and shrug, finally stepping into the house. Uncle Buck comes around the corner, grinning from ear to ear.

“Y/N!” He’s freshly up from a nap, sleepiness evident in his face, but comes over to wrap me in a hug. “How was the trip? Hope you and Chris hit it off.” He says, throwing a smile his way.

“Oh, yes sir. She’s…” Chris hesitates. “somethin’. That’s for sure.”

I glare at him and he shrugs, turning back to my aunt and uncle. Uncle Buck takes a seat in his rocking chair and gestures for me to sit on the couch.

“Okay, honey. I’m gonna give it to you straight. I know you don’t want to be here.” He raises a hand when I try to interject. “Now, let me finish. I know you don’t want to be here but you are. Now what we do here is honest work. This is work you can take pride in. And that’s what I expect from you. Good honest work. Are we clear?” He says, his voice as stern as he can manage but I see the cracks in his facade. I nod anyway, not wanting to give him any trouble.

“Good!” He says, his good-natured smile returning. “Cus’ Chris, here’s a tough cookie. He’ll keep you on your toes.”

My eyes widen at this and I look between my aunt and uncle’s faces in horror. “What?”

“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” My uncle asks. “Chris here is our lead farmhand. You’ll be reporting to him this summer.”

There’s just no way this is happening. I drag my eyes to Chris reluctantly and find him giving me the most shit-eating grin I’ve ever seen.

He tips the brim of his hat sarcastically and chuckles.

“Welcome to the crew, city girl.”

Oh. I’m so fucked.

taglist: @sturniolho @sttzee @tillies33ssss @miloisdone1 @sstvrnioloo @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @mrsmiagreer @asturniolos

@teapartyprincess4two @whicked-hazlatwhore @sukiipjs @accio326 @sturniolosmind

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papercorgiworld · 2 months

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Summer vibes and slytherins

Tom II, Mattheo, Blaise and Enzo

Spending the day at the beach with your boyfriend, based on this request. Short, but extremely fluffy. Warning, this isn’t just fluffy… it’s cheesy.

I’m not a crazy summer vibe person, but I do like a beach day, so I did my best. Sorry it’s so short but I hope you like it, dear anon. Also, me writing something called summer vibes while drinking homemade soup from my Christmas mug on a rainy day with my marauders blanky wrapped around me just felt like a crime. But it was fun!!! So here it goes, happy readings!

You were spending your summer in the muggle world. The place where you were staying and weather were beyond perfect, but it doesn’t feel right without your boyfriend. Early in the morning you write a letter, telling him that you miss him and asking him to join for a day or two. While you wait for a reply you decide to head to the beach, but instead of answering your letter he decides to surprise you.

Tom II

You smile as you spot an overdressed Tom walking your way. It can’t be? Really? A bright smile makes its way onto your lips and Tom looks at you questioningly. “I didn’t expect you to come.” You explain with amusement. “Why not?” He asks dryly as he tries to keep himself from staring at your perfect figure. “Because you’re… you.” You answer with a sweet smile as you wrap your arms around his neck. He knew exactly what you meant by that and huffed softly. “Yes, but I’m your boyfriend, so I might not like this.. summer, beaches, fun… but I’m here for you.” Your smile grows wider as you meet his eyes. “Kiss me.” You say, barely containing your excitement that he’s here for you. “More demands.” Tom jokes, before leaning in to kiss you tenderly.

”You want to join me surfing?” You ask, pointing towards the water and Tom watches the water with a weird half smile, before turning to you. “Okay, here I’m drawing a line. How about I’m in charge of ice cream and you go do the water thing you do.” You pout for a moment, but you know not to push it and peck his lips. “Fine, but will you watch me?” Tom nods happily. “Sure, that’s like my favorite thing to do.” You feel yourself get all giddy and go stand on your tippy toes to peck his lips on last time before heading into the water. With loving eyes Tom watches you, fighting the urge to curse every muggle that looks your way.

When you get out of the water Tom is holding your favourite ice cream and adoring you as you happily skip over to him. A view, a feeling, a moment to hold onto forever. “You used a spell to keep this cold for me didn’t you?” You say as you take the freezing cold ice cream. He nods. “You’re my girlfriend, no half melted ice cream for you, only the best for you.” You look up at him with starry eyes, before eying the book he was holding in his hand. “Shall we settle somewhere and enjoy the sun?” He reaches for your hand and you both walk in search of a secluded spot to relax.

Mattheo

You came running out of the water with a bright happy smile on your face when you recognised your boyfriend. Hands tugged in the pockets of his shorts and dark sunglasses following your figure, curly hair messier than ever due to the wind, no mistaking him. “You came?” You place a hand on his chest as you lean in for a summer kiss. “As soon as I got your owl.” He says with a cheeky smile and leans in for another kiss. “I missed you.” You whisper, lips still close to his. “Yeah, I got that from your letter.” Mattheo chuckles and you drop your head in embarrassment. “But I’m here, princess. So what do you want to do?” Your eyes wander the beach as you think. “Let’s go surf!” You suddenly suggest and enthousically tug Mattheo a few steps in the direction of the water.

”I’m not a surfing kinda guy.” Mattheo jokes, stopping you and wrapping his arms around you. He pulls your beautiful body against his bare chest and you giggle as he pulls you closer. “You’re just afraid you’ll embarrass yourself.” Mattheo catches your lips with his to shut you up. “I know how to surf, don’t underestimate your own boyfriend.” You laugh, not believing him, but enjoying the little argument. “Have you ever surfed before?” You ask between giggles and he playfully narrows his eyes at you. “No, but I know how to.” You frown at his words. “I’ll prove it to you, little lady.” He says before guiding you both in the direction of the water.

Once out of the water you walked to your boyfriend while shaking your head. “You cheated! You used magic!” Mattheo shrugs. “How is using magic cheating?” You cross your arms and Mattheo closes the distance between you two so he’s towering over you. “Muggles are just primitive in their way of surfing.” You groan at his silly argument, but before you can object to Mattheo’s ridiculousness he wraps his arms back around you and captures your lips for an intensely passionate kiss. “You’re just jealous of my excellent surfing skills.” Mattheo can’t resist teasing before again locking his lips with yours, kissing you so tenderly that you’ll surely keep quiet for a while.

Blaise

You watch the waves when you suddenly yelp as you feel two arms wrap around you. Blaise laughs loudly at the sound you make and you turn around cursing him, but can’t manage for long as you quickly start smiling, adoring your boyfriend. “You’re here.” You whisper and he stops laughing. A soft smile appears on his lips as he wraps his arm around you pulling you against his chest. “Of course, you don’t think I was missing you?” You look up at your boyfriend with shiny eyes. “You missed me?” He laughs and shakes his head at your silly question. “Are you seriously asking me that? Obviously your brains have been cooked by the sun. Let’s get that silly head of yours cooled down in the water.

A goofy, innocent smile tugs on your lips as you realize how ridiculous your question was. You spot someone surfing in the distance and jump as an idea comes to you. Blaise looks up, a little startled by your sudden excitement and you grab his hand. “Let’s go surf?” Blaise laughs, before realizing that you’re serious. “Wizards don’t surf.” He states dryly and you drop your shoulders, frowning at his bizarre statement. “What? Why wouldn’t wizards surf? It’s fun.” Blaise lets his head fall to the side and wants to protest, but you interrupt him. “How about I teach you the basics.” You say as you seductively move towards him in an attempt to convince your boyfriend to join you surfing.

After watching him fail again and again you can’t keep a straight face anymore and he’s getting slightly frustrated, but he doesn’t quit. You watch him struggle and eventually somewhat master the skill of surfing. Exhausted, you both walk along the beach, feet sinking in the sand and his hand tightly wrapped around yours. While he watches the waves you watch him with admiration, when he notices he raises an eyebrow and you smile looking down. “I’m just impressed.” Blaise chuckles and tugs your hand, pulling you closer so he can sling his arm over shoulder. “I’m a quick study and you were an excellent teacher, except for the laughing. It’s not okay to laugh at someone who’s learning a new skill.” You let your head rest against his chest as you smile. “Sorry about that. How about I make it up with some ice cream.” He looks down at you and squeezes your arm. “Now we’re talking.” He whispers and places a soft kiss on the crown of your head.

Lorenzo

You frowned as you recognised your boyfriend in the distance. Is that my Enzo? Enzo owned the summer vibe, that perfect summer tan combined with his smile and beach outfit. You noticed girls chatting him up as he waited to get ice cream. You purse your lips and cross your arms as you watch him. When he finally turns around he spots you staring at him. He curses himself, now that his attempt to surprise you had failed. With ice cream in both hands he walks up to you and leans in for a passionate kiss. “Surprise!” He quips and you laugh, before kissing him again with even more passion. “All this because I got you ice cream?” Lorenzo jokes referring to your intense kiss as he hands you the cold snack. You nod as your tongue catches some melting drops and he laughs. “The ice cream and maybe because I you missed a little… and I need those chatty girls to know you’re mine.” Enzo wiggles his eyebrows. “I can’t believe you spotted me. I wanted to surprise you.” He pouts a little and you chuckle. “So what’s up next, sunbathing? I can help you with the sunblock.” You giggle, but you knew Enzo probably wanted to do something a little more active than sunbathing. “Surfing?” You ask, still focused on your ice cream, but then you look up at your boyfriend. “Can you even surf?” You ask, baffled by the fact that you didn’t know despite dating him for this long.

“Of course I can surf! There isn’t a fun thing in the world that I haven’t mastered yet.” His smile is filled with summer enthusiasm. He holds your hand as you guide him to get a surfboard, shamelessly adoring your figure. When Enzo makes his way to the water you immediately notice his surfing skills are on the rusty side, but he manages to keep up with you for quite a while. In an attempt to do some tricks to impress you the waves beat him and you hurry your way to your boyfriend. However, you can’t help but slow down to admire his build and messy wet hair as he resurfaces. With a toothy grin he welcomes you into his arms. “I did that on purpose.” You laugh and kiss him.

“Maybe a bit more sunbathing?” You tease and he narrows his eyes at you before kissing you. “How about you become my personal surfing instructor and I’ll be a very good student.” Your boyfriend’s hands move over your sides, over your hips and rest on your ass as he carefully studies your face, waiting for an answer. You look up to him through your lashes. “I sense a hidden agenda.” Enzo’s hand caresses your cheek. ‘Maybe? Or maybe I’m just very eager to learn all the right moves…”

#slytherin #slytherin boys #enzo berkshire #enzo berkshire imagine #blaise zabini #enzo berkshire x reader #blaise zabini imagine #lorenzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo berkshire #blaise zabini x reader #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #tom ii riddle #tom riddle imagine #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle #papercorgiworldwritings

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mvltisstuff · 9 months

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dress - c.f

summary: conrad overhears y/n craving touch in her life, so he decided to take matters into his own hands.

conrad fisher x reader

a/n: guys!! s2!!! don’t hate me, BUT i’m not enjoying it as much as i did s1… i will say steven is getting a lot better this season!! i got messaged to write this, so it is a request <3

“it’s just different, taylor,” y/n sighs. “it’s the complete opposite of sex, that’s what everyone wants. i just wish i was more than that.”

conrad peeps through her slightly ajar bedroom door. she’s on the phone with a friend, laying on her stomach in bed. his heart aches at her words.

y/n’s been with a few guys, hooking up at parties but they never want anything else. she barely gets eye contact or a smile after, just letting them walk away. she’s not used to receiving physical affection. she spends the long nights pretending someone is laying next to her, pretending conrad is next to her. she holds her own hands, she runs them down her own body to deal with the starvation. she only wants someone to love on her for who she is, not just for her body. it’s gotten to a point where she doesn’t know how to react when people respond kindly. when someone pats her shoulder, when someone gives her a meaningless hug. she takes those things very literally and to heart. she doesn’t ask for it blatantly anymore. she silently begs for anyone to just hold her hand or wrap their arm around her shoulders.

she and conrad have been best friends for years. they always spent summers together and never kept secrets from one another. they’d sneak out to smoke or go to parties, but sometimes they’d just sit in the house and talk.

it’s honestly painful for conrad to sit around and act like he wants her as a friend. he hates every waking moment that he hasn’t just completely spilled his love for her. what’s even worse, is that she wants it more. the only thing keeping them apart is each other. when conrad hears her upset voice from the room, he just wants to run in and hold her in his arms. his own fears, however, stop him. he figures he’ll have to wait, ease into it. plus, he figures, no harm in a little bit of teasing.

later that day, everyone had been outside and conrad, jeremiah, steven, belly, and y/n were in the pool as the moms watched. they decided to play a game off the top of their heads, y/n and conrad single-handedly destroying the other team. when she swam back over to him, she was about to give him a high five and savor the millisecond of contact they made.

when conrad’s hand enclosed on hers, leaving his grasp in her hands, her heart paused. she thought she was dreaming, the boy she loved actually holding her hand. it wasn’t just the slap of their hands, it was his fingers folded over hers which made someone hold a lighter over y/n’s heart. she tried to contain to beam that was about to reveal from her face.

conrad could almost feel y/n’s happiness through her hand. he thought it was adorable how excited she got over him, and he was thrilled that she had a bit of light added to her feelings.

conrad, being the cunning boy he is, decided to take a step further into y/n’s delusions. at the beach, he noticed that y/n didn’t apply any sunscreen to her back. he didn’t want her to burn, but it was the perfect chance to make her go crazy over him touching her body.

“are you gonna put any on your back, y/n?” he asks.

“oh-“ y/n whispers, her face turning red and she can’t tell if it’s from the sun or embarrassment.

“c’mere,” he smirks, almost like a magnet causing y/n to step over to him. he pointed for her to crouch down, so she moved her hair out of the way and conrad rubbed the sunscreen into her soft skin. y/n swore she was floating, or looked like she had a stick up her ass. her heart was thumping in her chest at the feeling of his fingers running down her spine, dodging the thin string of the halter bikini top she had on.

when she looked over at belly, she had a thin grin on her face in a mocking way. y/n shot her a death stare, and belly shuffled away into the water.

“y/n,” conrad speaks, putting the bottle down on the sand.

“yeah?” she flicks out of the zone she was in. “oh, sorry.”

“don’t be,” he says, not breaking eye contact with her. the moment her name was uttered from his lips, it felt like the world stopped turning.

“thanks, connie,” y/n smiles, brushing her hair back and running out to belly in the water.

conrad watches her figure run off as he takes in the heat of the sun, while also admiring y/n from afar. someone that ravishing deserved to be loved, and conrad knows he can.

the next time they end up alone together is in y/n’s car, windows rolled down and the speakers blaring music. they’re both singing gleefully along, conrad looking over at y/n to gander at her beauty whilst she drives. when she rolls the car to a stop, he and y/n giggle at her messed up hair. conrad decides to take a leap of faith, moving a strand of her hair behind her ear and out of her face.

“there’s that pretty face,” the moment he mumbles those words over the music, y/n can’t control herself anymore. the sparks from her love for him are like fireworks now, and they could explode any minute. his hand has been away from her for 10 seconds, and she’s already grieving his touch. she looks up at his face, a calm, relaxed demeanor filling the car. his hair still managed to look perfect despite the wind. suddenly, a breeze comes over y/n and she sits back in the seat releasing an awkward chuckle. “hey, don’t get all shy.”

she looks back into his eyes, more radiant than the sunset around the parking lot. the lack of cars makes it feel as though they are the only people on earth, and she wishes it could stay that way forever. conrad is her safe space. she’s gotten so close to having him right where she wants him, and she won’t let herself run away again. when she allows his hand to make its way back up to her cheek, she shuffles in the driver’s seat and moves closer to him. his touch is so light, barely coming into contact with y/n. she wants more. she needs more.

she leans in, finally connecting their lips as the dam breaks. everything in her body feels like it’s on top of the world, at last being able to take in the intimacy. his hands are wandering down her arms without breaking the contact between them. his soft lips were the only thing she could focus on besides her catching breaths.

the taste on her lips was sweet, making conrad want to just indulge in her more. the magic aroma of her perfume flooded her nose, just giving him more reminders of her as they made out in her car. the pair could only hear the passionate breaths between them and the screaming thoughts inside their head.

every single part of y/n was satisfying all moments of their kiss. the way their noses brushed together as she tilted her head, the feeling of his jaw in her hand, how his tongue danced with her delicately.

conrad couldn’t stop his hands from migrating to her waist, landing them on her hips and leaning over the gearshift. his large hands land on the back of her thighs as she swings over, straddling his groin as she dives in for another kiss. he guides her hips to roll back and forth, making them both whine out a bit at the tension.

“conrad-“

“god, i feel so fucking bad for any of the guys you’ve been with that haven’t cherished you the way you deserve,” his raspy voice comes through to her ears, pecking at her neck and grabbing the seams of her shirt.

“please don’t stop,” she begs as his hands run down her thighs and waist.

“that’s the last thing i’m gonna do, angel.”

he yanks off her shirt, letting her do the same to him. she runs her hands down his chest, feeling her nails and soft fingertips down his torso. it’s one of the best feelings he’s ever had, his biggest crush for years touching him exactly how he wants. he looks out in the parking lot, seeing no one and praising whoever invented tinted windows.

y/n sits up, unbuttoning her jean shorts and dragging them down her legs. she starts to undo conrad’s as well, pulling them down far enough to just reveal his boxers. she grinds her clothed pussy on his dick, causing a light groan to escape conrad’s lips. “oh fuck, y/n.”

“you’ve had your fun teasing me this past week,” she mocks, starting to dip her fingers into his waistline. “but i’ll be nice tonight.”

conrad’s hand sinks down, pulling her thin underwear to the side and running his fingers down her slit, collecting her arousal and teasing her clit. she moans out as approval for him as she pulls his dick out of his boxers. the feeling of ecstasy near her cunt runs through her whole body, only making her more excited for him.

she gives his dick a few pumps, making conrad hiss and moan out deeply into the air. she lifts her body up before lining her entrance with his tip, sinking down onto him, she takes his entire length.

“holy fuck,” conrad exhales, taking in the pleasure of her wrapped around his dick. she bounces up and down, her hand gripping his arm and protruding muscles. she pants heavily at the action, him eventually thrusting up into her.

“fuck, fuck, conrad!” she moans loudly, causing a smirk to grow on conrad’s lips. she feels his hands all over her. running down her back, her ass, coming back up to rub over her covered nipples. she takes in every last touch before he moves his fingers down, circling around her clit making her legs shake above him. her mouth is dangled open, her eyes and nose scrunched in pleasure. and it’s all from him. he’s finally made her feel as good as he’s always wanted to.

when conrad starts hitting the perfect spots inside of her, the tightness in her stomach returns and stays familiarly. “conrad, i’m gonna cum,”

“i know,” he breathes. “me too.”

he meets his hips with hers a few more times before pulling himself out of her and releasing all over her stomach and thighs. her legs are twitching still, coming down from her orgasm. she’s lightly grinding against his thigh, letting herself ride out the high.

y/n leans against conrad’s chest, his hands returning to her lower back once again and rubbing small circles on her skin. he never knew the touch of someone could be so comforting, especially when he knew how much she needed it.

“you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever known,” he whispers into her ear.

“thank you, conrad,” she smiles. “for everything.”

“don’t thank me,” he replies. “baby, you’ll always be enough for me.”

868 notes · View notes

starswguru · 28 days

Text

❝ message in a bottle ; 마크이

𖥻 pairing: college!mark lee x female reader

𖥻 contains: college!au, fluff, slight angst, second chance romance

𖥻 warnings: swearing, marijuana & alcohol consumption / english is not my first language and this is my first work ever on tumblr so i am sorry if there are any grammar mistakes or misspellings

word count — 4.06k

synopsis — you and mark were in a situationship for a few months before things ended poorly when you got too scared of your feelings and he had to leave the country for an exchange program in london. now, six months later, you were at a party with your friends and discovered mark was back in town.

🎀

AND just like that, your whole world stopped spinning for a long and torturous minute. in the blink of an eye, you went from being over-the-moon excited — and slightly intoxicated — with the idea of partying with your friends during the first summer night before heading to your hometown in the next couple of days to being paralyzed, feeling all your blood get drained far away from where it should be in your body. in the blink of an eye, you went from being a happy girl with the arrival of the last member of your friend group to someone terrified with the sight of a ghost from the past. a quick glance, unintended by all means, in mark’s direction was all it took for the memories from that previous year to come flooding back to hit you like a lost train.

“hey, princess,” he said. his cheeks burning in a shade of shameful red, but something stronger than him was preventing his stare from going anywhere else other than your eyes. there was a blunt hanging between his teeth. “how you doing?”

“that’s it, guys; i’m done with this. i’m just gonna change my major or something like that! everything’s going terribly wrong, and i can’t keep torturing myself by studying this shit.”

you dropped your head and rested your forehead on your arm that lay on top of the desk in front of you right as the confession slipped from your lips like a dangerous poison that you should not have taken. it was the first time you’d ever said it out loud to someone else to hear — other than the mischievous voice inside your head — how you truly felt about the english major you were pursuing. the fear of judgment and of being too hasty about this decision was corroding every last bit of your emotional health, and because of it, you could sense that a storm was coming. what if you did change majors and ended up not adapting? how would you find a job, or better yet: how would you support living all by yourself if you couldn’t even pick an undergraduate academic path? time was running out, and the unbearable clock inside your mind wouldn’t give you a break. the tick-tacking of the goddamn thing was going to drive you to insanity at any point soon.

“hey, chill for once, okay? it’s normal to feel like that and to want something new. hell, i know i had to change my major twice before finding out what i actually wanted to do. jae did the same thing. you’re not alone.” jeno offered you a small yet reassuring smile or someone who didn’t quite know what to say but still wanted to see his friend more relaxed.

“exactly! take a deep breath and think things through with an easy heart. if you need help, we’re here to help you." swallowing the last bite of the sandwich he had bought earlier, renjun tapped the notebook in front of him. “how’s that linguistics project going?”

as you raised your head, you shook your head in a negative sign. “i mean, it’s good. too good, actually… and that’s sort of the problem. like, the dude i’m working with is super sweet and really fucking good at this class and so he’s kind of doing the whole thing by himself and dragging me along with it ever since we started. i feel terrible, even if he says it’s all good and stuff, but it is what it is, i guess.”

before either of the guys could express any opinion about what was just said, a guy with freshly cut black hair — it was even possible to see the drawing of a spiderweb on the left side of his undercut —, earphones in and a large yankees shirt approached the desk, more specifically you, and offered a genuine smile that wasn’t common to see between two colleagues who were only working on a school project together at you. the unknown man squatted so he could be at your height and unlocked his ipad’s screen to the word document the two of you were using to write notes together, or at least that was the initial idea because the reality was that mark was doing all of it alone, proudly.

“oh, hi, y/n, you good? just wanted to ask you a quick question… have you taken a look at this topic right here? i know we’re only supposed to work on it in two weeks but i was wondering if maybe you’ve come up with the same conclusion as me.”

feeling a thousand times more embarrassed than if a professor asked you to present a thirty-minute seminar alone in front of the whole class, you felt the tip of your fingers getting cold and a thin droplet of sweat rolling down your temple. “uhm, hey, mark. yeah, about that… look, i didn’t really have a chance to look at that yet, i’m sorry. i can barely manage this week’s assignments, let alone two weeks from now. i- i’ll text you when i read it, okay?”

you didn’t know it at the time — or if you did, you had an enviable ability of discretion — but every single time mark heard his name escape from your heavenly drawn lips, his heart would skip a beat or two and he felt like he was about to combust at any second. it was the first time in his whole life that he had ever felt that way about someone and dealing with feelings of that magnitude was both weird and extraordinary, which meant that the ravenette wasn’t completely aware of how to process them. mark’s solution for his overwhelming thoughts whenever you were around was to take charge of everything he could in that project, to make you feel relaxed about that one particular class. the canadian was terrible at linguistics, for his skills were much more reliable during literature classes: he could interpret and internalize poetry from the eighteenth century like it was nothing, and plays written in latin during the roman empire were of natural understanding for him; and yet, ever since the first day of that semester in which it was requested that both of you joined efforts to build the complicated assignment, it was impossible for mark to not pull all-nighters reading texts and more texts, watching one video class after another that broke down the subject of that class just so he could give his absolute best when the time came to work alongside you and you didn’t find him an idiot, as most people in that university usually did after meeting him for the first time.

mark just wanted to impress you and the last thing he could be worried about was doing all that alone, as long as it meant that he could still have the minimum interaction with you.

“yeah, sure, that’s cool. if you need anything let me know, alright?”

you were still in a state of complete shock. no words would come out of your mouth, making it impossible to answer properly the question directed at you by the boy that a year before was the reason for many sleepless nights and therapy sessions, through no fault of his, which was even worse, because mark was perfect and you hated yourself for how everything ended.

a cold breeze, too cold for a summer night, hit the both of you with enough strength to make you shiver and it was only then that you realized that none of your friends were around anymore. you were alone again with mark for what had felt like a lifetime since he left the country for an exchange program in london and with enough unspoken words to make the whole situation a million times more uncomfortable than it needed to be. what were you supposed to say right now? “oh, hi, mark, long time no see! listen, i’m really sorry for being horrible to you last year, i’ve spent the last six months torturing myself because i only woke up to the fact that i had let the perfect guy for me get away too late to try and fix everything”? you ran your fingers through your hair, knowing that there were no words of your knowledge that could make it easier, that could put together again the pieces of what had once been something magical that the two of them were building.

you couldn’t care less about all those times your therapist tried to be kinder to your heart than you had ever been, or how your friends always tried to distract your mind from the constant haunt of self-collection and, to be honest, didn’t really mind that yes, after all the effort and studying, you had managed to change your major to something you actually enjoyed if the price for it was to drop the perfect crystal piece that was mark’s precious heart. there were no words that could take that back, and going against every piece of advice that was given to you, you had imagined more times than you’d like to admit how this encounter would play out: what you would do, what you would say or not say, how it’d feel… but none of those scenarios inside your mind was anywhere near to the real sensation of being in front of him again.

mark looked taller — or maybe it was just the feeling of missing him crushing your soul and clouding your judgment —, the slim body now gave way to the body of a man who went to the gym and tried to truly take care of his health, his hair that previously used to be as dark as the t-shirts he used to enjoy wearing was now covered in a shade of red so bright that it reminded you of his favorite superhero’s suit. even still, the one thing that caught your attention the most were his eyes. before mark left, before the whole chaos, they were always big and full of life, like those of a curious cub and you could always feel a cozy warmth travel across your body when mark looked at you with such brightness; however, it seemed that ever since the canadian got back in town, they were opaque, closed off to the outer world as if his eyes were now carrying some kind of intense melancholy behind them. the familiar redness in his sclerae, months ago, used to always be accompanied by an excited and smiling version of mark lee, but that night the only thing apparent to you was that lee was holding on to weed like some kind of way to numb the break-up pain.

the redhead had lived a thousand different lives during his exchange: saw and learned things that he knew he would never have achieved if he hadn't accepted the opportunity to go to england and yet, his mind couldn’t recall any of those experiences with the genuine happiness he should’ve felt like any other normal and grateful person would if they were on his shoes; to mark, ever since you left him all alone, he had turned into nothing but an empty shell of what should’ve been the real mark lee. what were his experiences, his learnings, his funny stories if, at any moment, he was allowed to at least call the person he loved and share all of that with her?

“yeah, i guess i’m okay.” you answered, holding back a cry that was stuck in your throat before looking away. “you?”

a shiver went down the english student as he waited for his project partner to arrive at the coffee shop you two had agreed to meet at to finish for good the agonizing linguistics document. it didn’t even seem real that you were finally concluding the most stressful and endless project of your university career until that moment and despite the sweet taste of reaching the finish line, mark had on his lips a bitter one, because he knew that the very instant you pressed “send” on the body of that e-mail to your professor, all of his excuses to talk to you would come to an end. it was only the beginning of november, you should spend at least a few more weeks studying together if said professor were to follow a normal academic calendar like the rest of his fellow colleagues of the department.

mark would only have one last chance of making this work out and that chance was right there and then. anxiety and fear were destroying the boy with more strength than he himself was biting through his nails waiting for you to arrive.

“gosh, mark, i’m so sorry!” you said in a panting tone when you finally managed to get to the coffee shop and met the guy that, by that point, had already become your friend. “the bus took forever to get to the stop i needed and then the subway was also chaotic… anyways, i’m sorry that i’m late.”

the both of you stayed a long time in that coffee shop, not only finishing the assignment but also laughing together and watching a few episodes of modern family on his computer as a way to relax after all the constant flow of negative emotions the both of you were facing during that semester due to not only that particular class but also all the other ones with their enormous reading load. by the time you had indeed finished what you were supposed to do, you were feeling so comfortable in mark’s presence that you didn’t even notice when you heart started to race faster and faster before the mundane things the lee did: the way he smiled from ear to ear, or how kind he was to everyone around him. you were starting to fall in love with how mark explained all the different concepts he used to build his arguments across the paper like someone would explain the most basic things to a child, and you thought it was sweet the way he would say “dude” and “no way” every couple of sentences that fell from his lips. but, above all, unconsciously, the way mark seemed to glow every time he looked at you was ethereal to your eyes.

as soon as you sent the hated file, it started to rain on the outside of the coffee shop, but contrary to the ideal scenario, you couldn’t stay in there just waiting until the climate conditions became more favorable because the two of you had places to be at, on opposite directions. there would be no other alternative but to run to the nearest subway station, or in the brunette’s case, the bus stop.

mark immediately took off his hoodie to shield you as best as he could from the rain, in exchange for you protecting his backpack that contained his computer as if your life depended on it, the moment you two stepped outside the establishment and something of a thunderstorm was taking over the avenue. mark couldn’t help it and ended up laughing at the situation you two had found yourselves in, thinking about how he wished he was a little less broke and had a car to take the girl of his dreams back to her place without having to worry about the rain, or how he wished he was stronger to pick you up and carry you to the subway station and, with that, spare your shoes from coming in contact with the soaked surface of the sidewalk. before you could notice, you were right in front of the stairs that led to the station.

“bye, i think.” you said, giggling along with him while you tried to fix your hair that, despite mark’s hoodie’s protection, still got wet from the rain.

the lee was going to answer you like a decent and proper person, he really was, but in that very moment, a raindrop fell from the marquee above you and somehow managed to hit you right on the forehead, which made you close your eyes, but mark kept his wide open. with an automatic reaction of his body, almost like an involuntary movement that he was incapable of controlling — such as the beats of his accelerated heart — his left hand traveled to your neck while his right thumb was busy drying the solitary raindrop slowly, to give his mind time to analyze every little inch of your face so close to his. mark tried to respond with words to your farewell, but his impulse to kiss you was far stronger than any cohesive phrase that his brain could formulate in that moment.

the literature student, now in his final semester, nodded as he bit his lower lip and those opaque eyes fell to the floor beneath his feet after stepping on the remaining of his blunt. mark didn’t even know why he started that conversation in the first place, it was obvious that it was impossible for him to stand close to you without it affecting some part of him — whether for good or for bad — and even still, there he was, not managing to say a single word to you, nor being able to get closer, just feeding that giant gray and terrifying cloud that grew over both of your heads due to the impasse of what this was and what it should have been.

unlike his mind, that was only able to repeat tirelessly the day he finally built the confidence to kiss you, yours was in a hurricane of terrible memories that involved the brief, yet intense, relationship you two shared — or whatever the hell one could call it. how was it even possible that something that lasted only four months could leave such deep scars?

if mark was trying to hold back a smile remembering how it felt to have your lips on top of his, you were only torturing yourself with the replayed image of mark being crushed in front of you, by no fault other than your own. it was your fault that fear was allowed to consume every single good thing that the lee had ever given you; it was your fault that you’d thought that whole thing was a sick and sadistic joke from the universe and that, in reality, there was no way someone like him could've ever fallen in love with you. in the deepest, darkest, cruelest part of your soul, you were convinced that everything was your fault and not your mind trying to destroy you before something so pure and happy.

you were a sinking ship, navigating towards a port with not a single sight of a lighthouse’s spark to help you, not knowing how to reach the treasure that awaited your arrival because other people had already destroyed the lighthouse. the ability to grope around, trying to find yourself in the darkness you’d placed yourself, was stripped away from you the second you gave in to the bruises that were caused by third parties, and mark knew it wasn't your fault, although it was still difficult to try and be the guide to someone that wouldn't allow them to have access to the heat and light from the fire he tried to offer.

without even realizing it, the silenced cry stuck in your throat for months on end started to escape, not giving you any power to control it. you felt anger, sadness, frustration and you were missing mark… all at the very same time, in an endless swirl triggered by the mere vision of having mark back into your reality.

just like the first time you kissed, the unconscious answer of mark lee’s body to the sound of you crying after such a long time being away from you was to wrap his arms around your body without allowing himself to give too much thought to the action that just took place. if it was even possible, noticing you needing him in any way, shape or form was a true calling for him and it didn't matter how much time could've gone by, the lee couldn't ignore it. to love you and protect you was just as natural as breathing.

between the supplications for your tears to stop and hair strokes, mark then began to feel something that he thought was dead coming back to life inside the hollow box that was his chest. for months now, the redhead just knew that his heart was no longer there. instead, it must've been put inside a bottle and thrown away into the ocean that separated his emotions from his rational mind, as if he wasn't even the owner of his own feelings.

“please, princess, don't cry. i’m begging you.”

the cruelty of your mind wouldn't give you a break for not even a single second ever since the last time you've heart mark’s melodious voice so close to your ear, and the fact that it carried the same heavy tone of request didn't help with your genuine desire to stop your sobbings as your face was pressed against his chest. in that moment, the last thing on your mind were the looks that other people could be directing at the two of you; you could only see the desperation all over the face of the only man you've ever truly loved. he was in such pain that day — the day you told him you didn't want to see him anymore. soon, though, that image was replaced with the memory of the gut-wrenching feeling of chronic emptiness that filled your chest the following week and you came to your senses that you had make a mistake, but that it was also too late: mark was in another country, it was far too late to ask for forgiveness.

“i know you probably hate me right now. i shouldn't have done that, i shouldn't have said that, i was such an idiot, stupid… i'm sorry, mark, i don't know what was going on in my mind to treat like that, i-”

that sobbing wouldn't allow you to form coherent sentences properly and the way you were crying so helplessly was becoming melancholic instead of just sad to the man holding you. if only mark could get into your merciless head just how he would never be able to hate you, not in a million years, not when there was so much love, desire and adoration intrinsic to the image he had of you, then maybe that big gray cloud would disappear forever and the two of you could just live like he hoped for. all mark wanted was to have the privilege of loving you again.

“y/n, look at me” mark held the red and tear wet face of his beloved girl with kindness while his tone of voice was filled with all the firmness the moment could ask for. “for christ’s sake, y/n, i love you. i could never hate you. dude, really, for once just keep your head out of this and focus on what i’m telling you right now. i love you and this whole time i was thinking of you. only you.”

even if he knew you wouldn't answer anything for a few seconds, or maybe even minutes, mark just allowed a sweet smile to appear on his lips while he delighted himself with the feeling of being allowed to hold your face once again, to stroke your cheeks and to place small, delicate kisses all over your beautiful face — which he knew would force your breathing to slow down, giving you the chance to calm down again. the canadian was smelling like the combination of weed and beer, but somehow, your body knew how to identify the familiar and characteristic smell of his cologne; the same smell your searched for and ached for during the coldest nights, when missing him was too overwhelming it almost felt like a hole was being digged up in your chest. that familiarity was the reason for the shy smile that took over your lips, that opened a breach for light and happiness after all those tears while mark traced your lips with his thumb, admiring you like you were some kind of artwork created just for him.

“i was made to stay just like this with you, princess. and i’m not leaving this time.”

#— ⟡ 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐥𝐞𝐞 !#— ⟡ 𝐤𝐩𝐨𝐩 !#— ⟡ 𝐧𝐜𝐭 !#mark lee #mark lee x reader #mark lee x y/n #mark lee x you #mark lee angst #mark lee fluff #mark lee sfw #nct 127 #nct u #nct dream #nct #nct dream drabbles #mark lee drabbles

172 notes · View notes

hugshughes · 8 months

Text

The 1 A. Fantilli

Adam Fantilli x fem!reader

synopsis - based on “the 1” by Taylor Swift obvs. The school year starts back up at the University of Michigan and after your break up with Adam, you’re trying to live life freely but can’t seem to get the idea of him and your relationship off your mind. But what happens when you see him again, and you both are yearning for each other more than ever before?

wc - 4.5k (:0)

contains - lowkey angst but also very fluffy closure, reader cries, miscommunication a little bit (i know), kissing, cuddling. (if i missed anything please let me know!!!!)

an - this is the first part in my folklore 100 follower celebration! i’m so excited for it! i do not loveeee this but i really wanted to get this first part out! hopefully you guys like this! here is the masterlist to this celebration. me when im about to make a fic based off “the 1” have a happy ending 😊. also sorry this took longer than expected i has surgery the other day and did not pop back to normal like i assumed i would lmao. please someone get the betty refernce at the end ;))) also i still need a player to use for my betty fic for this celebration so… someone request someone. also this is barely edited so sorry. also should i make a taglist?? would anyone like that??

i’m doing good, i’m on some new shit. been saying “yes” instead of “no”.

To say you were definitely doing much better now that August had arrived was a true statement. You’d been a wreck most of the summer over your breakup with Adam, but as the summer started to slow down and your tan glowed, you felt you heart get lighter and rid itself of it’s burdens.

You and Adam had broken up just a little bit before the draft. The prospect of him being in Anaheim while you finished school in Ann Arbor sounded like an impossible feat to conquer.

You also knew what the newfound NHL fame would bring Adam, even more attention than before, new people, new friends, new girls surrounding him. And while you knew Adam would never in a million years cheat on you, you didn’t want him to feel like he had to be tied to something, someone, 2,234 miles away, to be exact.

When you watched the draft and saw Leo get drafted to Anaheim, your heart sank to your stomach. Many tears were shed that night, knowing the boy you loved with all of you wouldn’t be 2,234 miles away, only 190.

You assumed that if he wanted you back he would’ve called, or texted, or emailed, or sent a letter, anything. But you got nothing, so you accepted that he was perfectly okay with still being apart. Even though it did hurt because you remembered the night both of you cuddled close and whispered about how amazing it would be if he went to Columbus and not Anaheim.

i thought i saw you at the bus stop, i didn’t though.

When school started back up, you couldn’t help but see him everywhere you went. You did feel better, and you were healing, but it did instill an ache in your chest when you’d see your favorite study spot, your table at the starbucks right off campus, his dorm building, everything.

You even thought you saw him there once, your eyes widened with fear as you thought you saw him standing at a bus stop on campus but it wasn’t him, just another brunette boy, but not yours.

i hit the ground running each night. i hit the sunday matinée. you know the greatest films of all time were never made.

It was hard for about a week or so, being back in the place where you fell head over heels in love with him, but your friends would always be quick to cheer you up and tell you “it’s gonna be okay.” And most of the time you believed them.

You’d gone to many more parties than you had last year, you were usually trying to spend time with Adam and you two preferred being alone together than things like parties.

You felt the ache when you saw a guy taking his girlfriend to the Barbie movie, as stupid as that seems. You and your friends had all waited to see it until you were back together and you were all dolled up in your pink outfits. But you couldn’t help but have that same ache when you remembered Adam promising to take you to see if, and promising to wear pink just for you.

Obviously, that never happened. After the movie you couldn’t help but pull up your photos and scroll through your ‘Adam🤍’ album, the videos got to you the most.

Adam had made you film yourself when you opened your birthday gift from him, you had no idea why.

“Baby, why am I filming this?”

“Because, I want to be able to rewatch your reaction to it!”

You give him a funny look, and he urges you to open the big bag, seeing a jersey, a Michigan jersey. You’re pretty confused because you have a Fantilli jersey already, one you wear often. You pull it out of the bag and unfold it and turn it around, and then you see it. Instead of Fantilli across the back, it says “MY MAN”. Your jaw drops, you start laughing so hard, like stomach hurting from how hard you’re laughing.

Adam joins in your laughter, asking if you like it. You tackle him in a hug, kissing his cheek twice.

“It’s so perfect!”

The video was perfect, it ended in your phone falling from it’s propped up place on your desk as you kissed Adam. You felt happy and sad when you saw it. Happy that it happened, that you were able to ever experience that kind of love. Sad because it was all gone now.

i guess you never know, never know. and if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed. and if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow.

You know that if you had the chance, you’d go back to Adam without thinking for two seconds. He was the best thing that you’d ever been graced with. He was everything to you, and you know that in a tucked away part of your heart he still is.

You just wish you both had tried harder, because you both loved each other with all of your beings. You just wished you both showed how much you really wanted it at the end, but both of you were scared of how the other was feeling.

but we were something, don’t you think so? roaring 20’s, tossing pennies in the pool.

In the middle of the night, when you’re staring at the ceiling of your room after watching Adam’s newest highlights you tend to always think about one thing; if he still thinks about you, the way you do him.

You hoped he did, you hoped you weren’t the furthest thing from his mind at all times. And if you were to ask him, he would tell you that you were all he could think of for months, you were the only thing on his mind when he woke up, and when he went to sleep. Columbus was fun, and new, and exciting, but you were everything to him.

Adam had hoped you’d send him a text the night of the draft, and then he’d be able to start talking to you again. But, you never texted, you were worried he wouldn’t care if you did. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself.

and if my wishes came true it would’ve been you.

You had wished on 11:11s, fallen stars, eyelashes, candles, four-leaf clovers, everything, that you and Adam would be together always, and that didn’t end when you broke up, you still wished for him, always.

in my defense, i have none. for never leaving well enough alone. but it would’ve been fun, if you would’ve been the one.

You always felt like you were doing something wrong towards the end of your relationship, not because of Adam. It was because you just had a voice in the back of your head telling you that you weren’t doing enough for him and that you were making him upset, and it led to you doing things to try to fix that but only would end up making things worse.

You just needed him always, you two were inseparable. You were at every home game, a good amount of the away games, and then you were almost always together during any free time you two had. While you were only together for about a year, you could see your life with Adam. He had said something to you about wanting to marry you, 5 months after you started dating. You were just it for each other.

i have this dream you’re doing cool shit. having adventures on your own. you meet some woman on the internet and take her home.

You think about if he has met another girl yet. You know that those hockey teams like going out together and they definitely attract lots of female attention. The ache came back at the thought of him sleeping in the same bed as another woman.

we never painted by the numbers, baby. but we were making it count.

Some people thought your relationship was, unrealistic, in a sense. You and Adam were together all the time, and it made certain family members and friends question what would happen after the draft came and Anaheim took your boyfriend from you. But obviously, Anaheim didn’t take your boyfriend, Columbus did, which made the breakup hurt even more.

Every minute you spent with Adam was full of love. There were very little disagreements, and the few that did take place were always out of love, which also made everything hurt more. No one could’ve seen your breakup coming, you two included, it just came up one night and ended up with you two calling it quits. It was the first time you’d ever seen Adam cry, and that broke you inside.

you know the greatest loves of all time are over now. i guess you never know, never know. and it’s another day waking up alone.

Sometimes you wake up and forget he’s not yours anymore, that he might even be someone else’s. And then you snap back to reality and it hits you like a train. Your roommates sometimes leave sticky notes to you that you’re gonna be okay, that’s everything’s okay. He was the greatest thing ever. Your love for him conquered all.

i, i, i persist and resist the temptation to ask you, if one thing had been different. would everything be different today?

You just play back every single moment in your head. Wondering if you’d done anything different if you’d still be his, if he’d still love you how he did. What you didn’t know was that he was doing the same exact thing 190 miles from you, resisting the urge to text you.

Adam was counting down the days until his birthday, praying that you would text him, allowing him to start a conversation with you. You were as well, having typed out your birthday message to him already, weeks early, waiting to be sent.

but we were something, don’t you think so? rosé flowing with your chosen family. and it would’ve been sweet, if it could’ve been me.

You two would spend nights with his friends, the boys he loved most, and his teammates because you wanted them to like you because he liked them. You wanted to be able to have their approval and you definitely did. Your friendships lasting with a few of the players, specifically Dylan Duke.

Dylan had been so incredibly sweet to you when you met, understanding how it probably felt to be surrounded by a team of boys who you didn’t know. He was someone you could hang out with at hockey parties when you felt like you were being too clingy to Adam.

in my defense i have none, for digging up the grave another time.

Dylan had been begging you to come to a hockey game since before the season started. And you were finally convinced so you are going to attend the 2nd Providence game. They won last night 2-4 and were hoping to do the same again.

You felt the ache when you were searching through your umich gear for your outfit to the game and found your Fantilli jerseys. You took a deep breath and pushed it off, grabbing a blue and maize crewneck and throwing it on over your leggings and blazers and leaving.

You got into the Children of Yost section pretty easily, but it was always a hassle nonetheless. You found some friends and stood with them, shouting cheers when the guys skated out.

You and your friends were pretty close to the glass in the student section, only a few rows back, so you were able to see the guys really well. You screamed when Dylan scored his first goal of the night, he saw you and laughed so hard. Luca, who was hugging his teammate was confused by how hard Dylan was laughing, and looked to see what the source of his entertainment was. When he saw you, jumping up and down with your friends, screaming for Dylan, he was shocked. Shocked you’d even come to a game. And then his eyes widened when he realized his brother was here, watching him play.

When the first period was over the Childen of Yost settled down and danced to the songs and did the little games that came up to on the jumbotron. Your fun halted when you saw Adam come up on the screen, the words “Welcoming back former Wolverines!” and his names flashing on it. Your friends saw and their jaws dropped. He hadn’t been at the game the night before, of course he hadn’t, of course this was the game he came to.

You brushed it off and insisted that you were fine. You continued to have fun and mess around with your friends during the break in between periods. But then Adam had the shock of his life, staring at the screen as the view of you and your friends dancing to American Boy by Estelle & Kanye as the cameras showed different groups of the Children of Yost.

The second he gets over his shock you’re off the screen, and he’s slightly leaning out of his seat, searching the crowd of the student section, and then he saw you, messing around and playing with your friends. Part of him wishes you were in his jersey, as unrealistic as that seems. He wonders if you still have his jerseys, if they’re in a thrift store somewhere, or if they’re tucked away in the bottom of a box in your room.

He knows Dylan probably convinced you to come, because Dylan was your favorite of his friends, and the two of you guys were “besties” whenever you were together. He wonders if you’ll go down towards the locker room after the game to see Dylan and if he’ll get to see you again.

The game ended soon enough, the guys winning 3-4 with 2 goals from Duker. He texted you after the game to come down, wanting to go to eat with you after.

from: Duka👊

Dude come down after I wanna go eat

from: Y/n/n🤝

idk duke i kinda wanna go home

from: Duka👊

Bro no you have to stop being a loser

from: Y/n/n🤝

fine.

He liked your message and you let out a sigh,

“Hey guys, I’m gonna go down and see Duke. I’ll see you guys later, okay?”

They nodded and gave you light hugs, telling you random things that are always part of girl goodbyes.

“Are you sure, do you think Adam’ll be down there, babe?”

You sighed again, shrugging, hugging her tighter.

“Don’t know, but I can’t let him stop me from doing things, right? If I see him, I see him. I don’t know if he’ll say anything to me, but if he does I’ll just talk to him normally, you know?”

The girls all nod, saying goodbye again, telling you things about your said “girl power”. You made your way through the arena, getting let through by security and heading back to the hall where the players come out.

You kept your head in your phone as you leaned against the wall, snapping people, scrolling through Instagram, and texting your mom about the game.

Dylan came out fast compared to usual. You high-fived him as he came up to you, congratulating him on his two goals. He thanked you and then was quick to try to get you guys to leave.

“Dylan, It’s okay. I know he’s here. I’m not gonna like, run away from him. Alright?”

“Yeah alright, he was just in the locker room and I was worried you might not know, 'cause I didn’t even know, so.”

You nodded and smiled at him, patting his shoulder in thanks. Then you realized he was missing something.

“Dylan, did you leave your phone in the locker room?”

He looked at you in confusion, then patting the pocket on his bag, and then his sweatpants pockets, then his sweatshirt pocket, but came up empty.

“Shit. Alright, I’ll be back in half a second, wait here.”

You nod and he hands you his backpack, racing back to the locker room. You put his bag on your back and look back at your phone again. And then you hear him, his laugh. You don’t even wanna look up, you glance out of the corner of your eye, seeing his silhouette.

You freeze in your stance, fingers pausing on your screen. You hear him, Luca, and Mark talking very loudly. Adam sees the bag on your back first “DUKE #25” along the side of it. Then he realizes it’s you. He quiets down very quickly, almost stopping in his tracks.

Luca notices his baby brother’s change in attitude instantly, whipping his head to the side, his eyes meeting your figure. Mark, somehow sees you and his mind doesn’t think for two seconds. He calls your name, happy as ever.

“Hey! Come here I haven’t seen you in forever. What’s up?”

You wince at his obliviousness, or maybe his uncaring of the situation. You squeeze your eyes shut for a second before putting a smile on.

“Hey Mark, I’m fine. How are you?”

He nods and replies, half hugging you and pulling you back towards his group. Luca quickly says hey to you, wrapping his arms around you briefly.

You look at Adam, your eyes softening. He looks at you as if you’re the only girl in the world, and to him, you are. You go to say hey to him but he hugs you before words can come out. He holds you so so tightly, and you practically grip him. Fuck, you missed him.

“Hey, Adam.”

You feel him take a deep breath in, rubbing his hand up and down your back.

“Missed you.”

“Missed you too, Adam.”

You both seem to realize you aren’t alone and you pull away, clearing your throat as the other two boys look at you with huge smiles. You feel heat radiating from your cheeks as the four of you stand there.

The awkward silence is cut off by Dylan racing back through the hall.

“Hey dude, sorry I took so long. Ty started asking me about something-”

He stopped himself when he saw you standing inches from Adam, a blush covering your face. He tries to cover the smile overtaking his face.

“Oh hey guys, um well, we were about to go eat, you guys wanna join?”

Your eyes widened at Dylan, cursing at him in your head, hoping you’d gained mind powers that could disintegrate him. Just because you can stand here and hug him doesn’t mean you can sit and eat dinner with him.

Mark jumps to accept, telling you two that you should also invite the other guys still in the locker room. You agree, thinking the more the merrier for your situation. You and Dylan let the other guys know and then take off. In the car, you turn to Dylan and almost shout at him.

“Dylan Duke! What the fuck?”

He smiles at you, that stupid smile. You shake your head and sigh loudly leaning back against the headrest and closing your eyes.

“I saw how you were looking at each other in there. And Mark whispered to me about your hug. I know that this is for your own good dude. At least get civil with him.”

You sigh and nod, your eyes still closed. Dylan lets out a noise of agreement, and you two drive to your chosen restaurant.

When you pull up to a restaurant on a Saturday night and ask for a table for 10, you usually are looked at like you have two heads. But in Ann Arbor, when a umich hockey player comes in and asks that, they will make it happen.

You and Dylan were the first to get there, sitting across from each other at the far end of the table. Tyler, Rutger, and Ethan arrive next, Tyler sitting at the end chair between you and Dylan, and Rut and Eth sitting next to Dylan. Adam, Luca, and Mark arrived next. You watched Mark push Adam forward to sit in the space on your right.

He smiles at you awkwardly as he sits down next to you, making sure to leave a comfortable amount of space between you. Lastly, Seamus and Mackie arrive, taking the last two seats at the table. All the guys were talking around you while you checked your phone every minute or so to try to look busy. You glance to your side and notice Adam as bored as you.

“Hey Fants.”

His head quickly turns to you, a bright smile adorning his features.

“Hi.”

“How’s Columbus? Sorry I never congratulated you, I just-”

“Hey! It’s okay, I understand, alright? But it’s nice, I’ve made a couple of new friends and stuff. It was nice already knowing people there.”

“Yeah, yeah. That’s really good Adam.”

Adam stared at you longingly as you stared at your fingers. You were messing with the rings you always wore, then realized how you were wearing your ring from Adam. You felt like you couldn’t let him see it, worried you might embarrass yourself. You covered your hand with your other, trying to make your position look as natural as possible.

When you looked back over to him and he was already staring at you, you swear your heart started pounding, even more so than already. His eyes looked sad, something so uncommon to see him feeling. He’d always been your happy boy, always bringing you up and making you better.

You would rather climb to the rooftops and scream to every Ann Arbor citizen of your everlasting love for Adam than even whisper it to him. His eyes, though, they’re like the ocean. One look and all of your senses are gone.

“I really missed you Adam.”

You didn’t look at him when you whispered it, you stared at the football game playing on the TV across the restaurant, the Bengals were winning by 14. Your hand pressed into the wood of your chair next to your thigh, running your fingers back and forth across the grain. You didn’t flinch physically when you felt his hand brush over yours, but your heart felt like it was about to implode.

“You have no idea how much I missed you.”

You finally got the courage to look into his eyes. You turn, just a little, and look at him, the raw look on his face, his glazed-over eyes, his bit at lips, your boy, he’d always been yours, always will be.

“And, you have no idea how badly I want to kiss you right now.”

He mumbled it, not caring if you heard or not, he just knew he had to say it, if not to you then to admit it to himself, that he wanted to kiss you.

Adam watched as your eyes widened innocently, he loves everything you do. He just stared, he knew you heard him, he didn’t know what to do after that, and neither did you. You seemed to have gotten lost in the moment, forgetting about the 8 other hockey players surrounding you, who had honestly mostly just stopped really talking to each other and were mostly watching you and Adam.

In that moment, you couldn’t even hear them, you couldn’t even see them. They were blurry, muted, and muffled, but looking at Adam, it was so clear. You weren’t thinking, you were just following whatever split-second decision your heart made and grabbed his face, kissing Adam. You fucking kissed him. His hands wrapped around your wrists, kissing you back immediately. You kissed for maybe three seconds, the hustle and bustle all around coming back to you.

You pulled away from him first, if it was his choice he would’ve made out with you right there in front of everyone. You looked at him with wide eyes, and he still had his big beautiful smile. You hear an ‘oh shit’ come from Luca’s mouth, and then the rest of the guys at the table going crazy and immediately feel embarrassed. Your face burns as you quickly wipe your lips with your sleeve, burying your face in your hands as a smile reluctantly makes its way to your face.

Adam has the biggest grin on his face as he scoots his chair closer to you, wrapping his arm around you, pulling you close. Adam’s hand rests on your hip, tracing shapes already like it was never gone. Like it was home after being away for far too long. You know the two of you would have a big conversation about everything later. But for right now, you just let him hold you, and you let him order for you, because he always knew what you wanted, even now.

When dinner came, Adam’s hand left your hip, but it ended up holding yours under the table like you were two fourteen-year-olds hiding from your parents. He started messing with your hand, pulling it more into his lap so he could play with it with both of his hands. He’d always done this when you were together, he would mess with your hand while he talked to others at dinners or parties or anything.

Adam was shocked when he felt it, the cool band on your ring finger. He looked down at your hand, eyes widening when he saw his ring still adorning your finger. He stared at you with so so much love in his eyes, from across the table, Luca could see how happy his baby brother was, and he was so thankful for you.

“You still have my ring on.”

You couldn’t tell if it was a question or a statement when he whispered to you. You looked down at the band on your finger, smiling sheepishly at him and blushing. You nodded slowly, not knowing how to explain it to him.

“I just really like it. And I just really like you, so.”

He laughs, nodding at you with amusement, letting out an ‘Oh yeah?’ to which you nod assuringly.

You knew he was the 1. You’d known when he had first introduced himself to you. You could tell that this new beginning to your relationship was going to last, that the time apart only made you both stronger. You’d always loved him, and always will, and if kissing him in a crowded restaurant in front of all of his stupid friends is what it takes to have him, you definitely would.

but it would’ve been fun, if you would’ve been the one.

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yelena-bellova · 1 year

Text

Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven: Hands

Plot: Y/n and Joel work to escape the ambush with their lives, sharing an unexpected tender moment after.

Word Count: 7.6k

Warnings: tlou ep.4 spoilers, language, graphic description of injuries, canon-typical violence, death, blood, guns, knives, insinuated a**ault, (16+)

A/N: THERE WAS ONE BED. Sorry, I’ve been waiting five days to say that. Anyway, this one was super fun to write. As always, this series is 16+ and I will not be tagging anyone unless your age is specified in your bio. Gotta look out for younger eyes 👀

Enjoy, and good luck to all going into tonight’s episode 🙏🏻

——————

June 6th, 2002. Austin Texas.

Summer in Texas brought a brutal heat, but once the sun set, it was bearable to a point of enjoyment.

Y/n’s fingers drummed anxiously against her steering wheel as she drove to the fairgrounds. If she’d been nervous about her first date with Joel, this was worse. If she couldn’t fit in with the family, there was no point in them going any further. The night had to go well.

She pulled into the dirt parking lot, taking a deep breath before switching off her car. Sarah and her had already gotten along when she’d driven her home. And Tommy already felt like an old friend. Everything would be fine…probably.

Tommy, Joel and Sarah waited at the front of the fair, the latter two peeking through the sea of people for one specific person.

“Can’t tell which one of you’s more excited,” Tommy chuckled, looking between his niece and brother.

“I’m excited,” Sarah replied, standing on her tiptoes to get a better look, “Dad’s nervous.”

“I am not nervous,” Joel stated, his fiddling thumbs over his pockets contradicting his words.

Before Tommy could get in a jab, the three of them spotted Y/n’s head bobbing through crowd. Sarah and Tommy waved wildly, Joel tried to keep his restrained.

“The yellow rose of Texas,” Tommy cheered, beating Joel to give her a hug.

Y/n laughed as Tommy spun her around. “Nice to see you too,” she grinned.

Sarah jumped forward, unable to contain her excitement any longer. “Hi, Y/n!”

“Hey,” Y/n greeted her, unsure whether or not she was supposed to hug her or if it was too much or-

Her excessive thoughts died in thin air as soon as her and Joel’s eyes met.

He sheepishly walked forward, hoping it didn’t seem like he wasn’t enthusiastic about her being there. He was just so fucking nervous.

“Dad,” Sarah piped up, “Doesn’t Y/n look pretty tonight?”

“Yeah,” Tommy added, taking Y/n’s hand and twirling her around, “Better make a move before she realizes she can do better.”

Joel nodded along, “Alright, alright,” he took Y/n’s hand, “Hi.”

“Hi,” she smiled, all her anxiety suddenly seemed worth it.

“Should we get this show on the road?” Tommy asked, slapping his hands together and pulling Sarah along with him.

Joel and Y/n’s fingers stayed interlocked as they walked in.

“She’s been bouncing off the walls all day,” he admitted, “Couldn’t wait to see you.”

Y/n forced a laugh, “You’re doing wonders for my anxiety…”

Joel laughed, sneaking a kiss to Y/n’s temple while his family’s backs were turned.

The night, however, ended up going better than either one of them expected. Sarah was glued to Y/n’s side all night, barely acknowledging her uncle or Joel. She insisted that Y/n sit with her on all the rides, even grabbing her hand on one of the coasters. Y/n made an effort in between attractions to find out Sarah’s interests, finding common ground in music mostly. Joel’s daughter was witty, smart and a downright joy to simply be around.

Joel watched the whole thing, his heart bursting with affection for them both. Under the glow of the carnival lights, he wasn’t sure what he had been so worried about. He had the two most incredible girls in his life and it was crazy to think they wouldn’t get along.

They’d walked nearly the entire fair before Sarah spotted the ferris wheel. “We haven’t done that one yet,” she said, “Y/n?”

“Well, if your dad’s recovered from the tilt-o-whirl,” Y/n shrugged, smiling smugly at Joel.

Joel pointed a finger at Y/n, “Don’t even mention that death contraption.”

The four of them made their way through the line, zigging and zagging. Somewhere along the way, Sarah drifted behind Joel and Y/n to walk alongside Tommy, forcing the two of them together. They filed up the steps and into the cart, expecting Tommy and Sarah to be right behind them.

“Oh,” Sarah put her hands to her stomach, “I’m not feeling great.”

Tommy grabbed his niece’s shoulders with great concern, “Oh, no. Maybe we should go sit you down.”

Joel, though already barred in his seat, tried to stand up. “Sarah, I-“

“You guys go ahead,” she waved her dad off, “I think I just need some water or something.”

“Well, no,” Y/n said, trying to push the bar up, “We can just-“

The wheel creaked to life and began to lift Y/n and Joel up into the air.

“Well, fuck,” Joel muttered, frantically looking around as if he could somehow stop it in motion, “I wonder if it’s somethin’ she ate.”

Y/n peered down, searching out Tommy and Sarah’s forms. She chuckled when she finally spotted them. “Something tells me she’ll live,” she tapped Joel on the shoulder and pointed downwards.

There, back in line for more greasy carnival food, was Sarah, nearly bouncing beside her uncle as they watched Y/n and Joel.

Joel threw his head back in relief and laughter, blindly seeking out Y/n’s hand.

“Your daughter might just be an evil genius,” Y/n smirked.

“She’s diabolical,” Joel replied, turning to face Y/n with a lovesick grin, “She loves you.”

Y/n folded her other hand over Joel’s, “She’s magic. Just pure sunshine.”

“No, I mean,” Joel sat up straighter, “She’s never taken to anyone like she has you. It’s just been us and Tommy her whole life and the way she’s accepted you is just…”

Neither one needed to say it, they could both feel it. Sarah had taken Y/n in like she’d always been there.

“I’m honored,” Y/n beamed.

Joel felt like he was locked in a tractor beam, Y/n’s eyes drawing him in further and further. The two of them startled when the ferris wheel creaked again and they stopped moving, having reached the top of their climb.

“So,” Y/n started, “Did I pass the Miller family test?”

Joel took the opportunity to wrap his arm around her shoulders, dragging her frame closer to him till they were pressed against one another. Y/n interlocked her fingers with his, her stomach nearly in her throat from the closeness.

Joel knew that the next seconds were crucial. If he kissed Y/n, he was signing away his future. There would never be another woman his eyes followed across the room. The room would empty as soon as she walked in. There would never be another first date, sweaty palms and racing heartbeat accompanying. The nerves would morph into different firsts, ones of far more significance. If he gave his heart fully to this woman, it would never again be his.

Joel rubbed a thumb against Y/n’s shoulder and smiled, “Flyin’ colors, Rosebud.”

Y/n was practically glowing, relief radiating out of her. She knew that Sarah was the final puzzle piece to her and Joel, and it had all come together gloriously. There were no more obstacles, there was only them.

Joel’s eyes flickered to Y/n’s lips, the signal that meant something beautiful was about to happen. She held firm, not wanting to move and upset the electricity of the moment. Joel’s head slowly drifted forward, his nose gently sliding against Y/n’s. She couldn’t hide her shaky exhale as their skin finally touched.

Joel allowed a few seconds, for the possibility of her backing out, before letting himself lean in fully and kiss her.

The pure relief that ran through their bodies paralyzed them, their lips pausing as if the commit the feeling to memory. The shock wore off and Y/n pushed her lips deeper against his, seeking out the second kiss. Joel met her, bringing his free hand up to hold her cheek in place. His fingers spread across the side of her face, two brushing against her jawline. It was nearly a lazy kiss, like they knew this was just the first of a million and they could take their time with it.

There, above a sea of noise that faded in their ears, Y/n and Joel felt their uncertainties turn to stone. They were each other’s future.

—————————

2023. Kansas City, Missouri.

The crash could have been worse.

“Ellie?” Y/n panted, reaching blindly behind her.

“I’m okay,” Ellie grabbed hold of Y/n’s arm.

“You’re not hurt, nothin?” Joel asked both of them, his eyes frantically scanning them for injuries.

Ellie shook her head, “I don’t think so.”

“Good,” Y/n confirmed, checking Joel’s face and hands for blood.

Inevitable gunshots began to hit the truck, sending them ducking for cover.

“Belts off,” Joel shouted, “Fast!”

They unbuckled and Ellie crawled out her side of the truck, Y/n and Joel following. Y/n had the good sense to grab her backpack as she slid out. They crouched down behind the truck, Joel reaching back in to grab Y/n and his shotguns.

One of their assailants called out to them, “Let’s see you, motherfucker! Give us your shit, you make it through this! I promise!”

A lie.

Y/n and Joel loaded their guns in preparation. They could fight, but Ellie couldn’t.

Joel spotted a hiding spot through the wall. “Hey,” he caught Ellie’s attention, “You see that hole? Can you squeeze through?”

A couple warning shots caused them all to flinch, Y/n throwing an arm over Ellie’s body instinctively.

“When I say go, you crawl through that wall,” Joel instructed, “And you squeeze through, and you don’t come out until we say, okay?”

A bullet flew through one of the truck’s windows, the shards of glass raining around them. Y/n was directly under its stream, her adrenaline blocked the feeling of the small cuts.

“And they’re not gonna hit you,” Joel kept going, Ellie was already turning in concern towards Y/n, “Look at me!”

“Ellie,” Y/n urged, “Listen to him.”

Ellie turned to Joel, he drove the promise home. “They’re not gonna hit you.”

Another bullet came too close for comfort.

“You stay down, you stay low, you stay quiet,” Joel instructed, trying to give her as much information as possible in an attempt to soothe her fears.

“Mm-hmm,” Ellie nodded, Y/n squeezed her hand for reassurance.

“Okay,” Joel said, looking over to Y/n. The two of them had to be perfectly in sync for the plan to work. Y/n gave a confidant nod and he returned it.

“GO!”

On cue, Ellie began to belly crawl across the floor while Y/n and Joel got to their feet. When one of them took a shot, the other would stay down. They timed their reloads so that someone was always up and firing.

While crouched behind the truck, Y/n glanced over at the hole in the wall, the only thing left visible was Ellie’s leg being pulled through.

“She’s in,” Y/n told Joel, popping up as he went down and firing a shot at one of their attackers.

Joel was making up their escape route on the fly, trying to find a place safe enough to take cover behind. “Come on,” he muttered, leading Y//n behind a large piece of equipment.

Y/n crouched beside Joel, her mind racing with grim possibilites as the crunching of glass came closer. Joel was the better shot, without question, but her fear for Ellie’s life made her much quicker to the trigger. Joel motioned for her to stay down, he would take the shot.

Waiting for their attacker to be in perfect position, Joel rose to his feet and fired a deadly bullet.

Joel exhaled, he’d been holding his breath as they’d lay in waiting. He offered Y/n a hand, which she took, and pulled her to her feet. He went to reload the shotgun, but it had become jammed.

A body burst through the door, barely leaving Joel and Y/n time to react. Joel smacked the butt of his gun into the assailant’s, the almost-fatal shot hitting the ceiling instead. Y/n backed up and took aim, but the man swung around and knocked the shotgun out of her hands. Joel was trying to draw him away from Y/n, but as she went to attack him, she was thrown into Joel and they were backed up against their shelter. They struggled against the man as he tried to shove his gun against their throats.

Even though there were two of them, he quickly overpowered them and pulled them to the floor. He pinned Y/n and Joel down, the rifle big enough to dig into both their throats.

“Now you’re gonna pay, motherfuckers,” he threatened, “What you fuckin’ did, you killed yourself, motherfucker!”

Y/n and Joel began to feel the oxygen drain from their lungs, both of them kicking wildly in a sad attempt to free themselves. The sounds of Y/n’s struggles cut right to Joel’s heart, making him fight harder.

Y/n tried with her remaining strength to push the gun away from them, but without her and Joel at their best, it was fruitless. She gagged, her eyesight was beginning to blur. Their journey couldn’t end here, not like this…

Desperately trying to comfort her in what was assuredly their last moment, Joel’s hand, that was barely brushing Y/n’s, fought to slide a finger over hers. If they were going out, they were going out together.

And then suddenly, the weight lifted from them. Y/n fell onto her side, Joel landing up against her with an arm resting against her convulsing abdomen. They sputtered for air, coughing and hacking as it refilled their chests. Y/n held onto Joel’s arm as she wheezed, gripping him for traction as she tried to draw a true breath.

Joel forced himself up onto his arm, turning around and seeing their salvation came in the form of Ellie and a pistol. He should have known that she wasn’t going to listen…

“No, no, no, no, no,” Joel and Y/n’s attacker cried as Ellie took a step towards him, “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s over. We’re not fighting anymore.”

Finally gaining enough oxygen to see straight, Y/n leaned up, coming face to face with Ellie. Her heart broke at the sight of her, so young, having been forced to make an irreversible decision.

“I’m gonna go home,” the guilty promised, “I’ll tell everyone you’re good,” he began to cry, “I don’t know what to do. My legs don’t work.”

Joel’s protective arm remained around Y/n the whole time.

“My mom isn’t far,” the man continued to bargain for his life, “If you could get me to her.”

Y/n tapped Joel’s hand, shrugging his arm off as they got to their knees. Joel looked down at their hands, blood smeared on both their palms. The slow stream was coming from the back of Y/n’s hand, the spray of the truck’s glass window had cut her up good.

“We could trade with you guys,” the man tried to reason with a teary-eyed Ellie, “We could be friends. I didn’t know. I’m Bryan, I’m Bryan. What’s your name?”

Joel and Y/n helped each other up, steadying one another as they got to their feet. The sound of their assailant speaking, trying to be friendly to Ellie set Y/n off. She took a threatening step toward him, Joel had to hold her back by her hips.

They turned to Ellie, who looked like she was somewhere between relieved and tortured. Joel held out a hand, silently demanding the gun still shaking in her palm. She handed it over without hesitation.

Bryan had begun to weep behind them, as if that made any difference to the people whose lives he’d been ready to steal. Joel turned slowly, stuffing the gun in his jacket pocket and pulling out his own pistol.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Bryan sniffled, picking up the knife he would have most likely killed Y/n and Joel with and dropping it at their feet, “You can have it. It’s a good knife.”

Joel bent over to pick it up, turning to Ellie after. “Get behind the wall,” he growled.

“No, no, no, no,” Bryan cried, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please, please, we could just talk. I’m sorry! I’m-“

Ellie looked between him and Y/n, who nodded towards the hole as a back up to Joel’s order. Moving mechanically, Ellie hurried back through the hole to the others side of the building.

Bryan continued to beg for mercy, something Joel had been short on for twenty years. Y/n, usually the more reasonable of the two, stood over the sniffling young man, seething. He’d been ready to kill them like they were nothing. He’d have killed Ellie, or worse, taken her and allowed his friends to commit unspeakable acts to her. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness.

Joel didn’t bother asking Y/n for her opinion as he stalked forward. He ignored Bryan’s pleas, the shrieking cries for his mother. As he brought the knife down on him, Y/n turned away, desiring justice but unable to watch its delivery.

When it was over, Joel looked over to Y/n, who was turned towards the wall. He didn’t have time to feel any guilt over causing further damage to their past selves. He made his way over to her and took her hand into his, examining the bloody cuts.

“Window,” she choked out, pulling away from his touch, “I’ll clean it later.”

Joel nodded, there were no other options. “Ellie,” he called out, “We gotta get in there. We can’t fit through.”

“There’s some stuff against the door,” she replied.

“Well, can you move it?” Joel asked.

Y/n and Joel hurried around the back of the laundromat and to the side entrance to the building Ellie was hidden in. They leaned their collective weight against the door, the screech of a desk sliding on the other side. They burst through together, slamming the door shut after.

“Let’s go,” Joel hurried to help Ellie, “Fast.”

The three of them slid the desk back against the door, barricading themselves for the time being. It left them with nothing other than the reality of what happened sinking in on them.

“I’m okay,” Ellie was quick to say, reaching for her pack, “I’m good. I, uh, got some food in here still, and I got your light still.”

“What now?” Ellie asked.

“We go up,” Joel answered, already on the move.

“To get a better look?”

“Hopefully we spot a clear route out,” Joel opened the door that would lead them outside, “Stay close.”

Ellie nodded, “Got it.”

The three of them moved through the back room of the building, daylight greeting them as they found their way outside. Joel led them along the alley, finding cover behind an old car. They could hear the attacker’s calls for Bryan and the subsequent ones of terror when they found his body.

Joel cut across the street, shining his light through the opposite building’s door. Deeming it safe, he gestured for Y/n and Ellie to meet him. They ran through it, closing the door quietly behind them.

“Stairs?” Y/n asked, pulling out her pistol while Joel manned the flashlight.

Joel led them through the dark, the three of them flying up the steps in order to try and seek some vantage point. When they couldn’t find one, they headed back to the first level.

They snaked through holes, doors and carefully across streets, always avoiding whatever noise was just a few blocks over.

Eventually, they landed in a bar with newspapers plastered against the windows. It was the quietest street they’d found yet and safe for the time being. Joel monitored the city through the small chunk of exposed glass as sounds grew closer, watching as trucks and tanks rolled down the street.

Y/n was seated at the table, the first aid kid open and her hand stretched out. There were at least a dozen small shards of glass stuck in her skin, blood slowly trickling around them. It was going to be a bitch getting them out.

“They’re not FEDRA,” Ellie recounted the discussion they’d just had, “They’re not Fireflies. Who are they?”

“People,” Joel answered as he continued to watch.

“Are we okay in here?”

“Yeah, for now, but we gotta keep-“ Y/n’s gasp interrupted her sentence as she poured rubbing alcohol across the back of her hand. “We gotta keep moving,” she strained.

Joel’s attention was drawn away by Y/n’s cry of pain, but he made sure to look back through the window one more time. “Looks like they’re checkin’ out apartment buildings first. But they’ll be comin’ through these places soon enough.”

“So we zig when they zag,” Y/n stated, sanitizing her pair of tweezers.

Joel got up and Ellie took his spot at the window, he moved towards the table.

“There’s a really tall building, like, four blocks away,” Ellie reported.

“Yeah, saw it,” Joel replied.

“So that’s the one?” Ellie asked.

“As soon as we don’t hear a truck,” Joel said, “We move. Fast as we can.”

Joel came to sit across from Y/n, watching as she carefully began to pull pieces of glass from her skin. She was trying her best to hold back tears, her lip trembling as she bit down on it. His fingers practically twitched to help her, telling himself to hold back as much as he could.

Y/n’s hand began to shake as she reached for another shard, whimpering when she accidentally nudged it deeper into the cut.

“Here,” Joel offered, though it was more an order. He held out a hand for the tweezers.

“I’ve got it,” Y/n mumbled wetly, speaking past the lump in her throat.

“I know you do,” Joel replied softly, the softest tone he’d taken with her in twenty years. He looped his fingers through the vice-like grip she had on her tool, gently pulling it down to the table. “Here.”

Y/n was in too much pain to fight, and she knew Joel would get it done quick. She allowed him to take her injured hand into his, the sensation of his touch against her palm sending a jolt through them both.

Joel worked with precision, carefully pulling each shard out of each cut. Y/n would let out a small whine every once in a while, but he didn’t stop to look at her. The faster he moved, the faster her pain would end.

Y/n tried to focus on anything, anything other than the pain. That thing ended up being Joel’s hands. The rough callouses against her wrist, the occasional brush of his knuckle as he worked, the length of his fingers in comparison to hers. In the heat of misery, she couldn’t see what a dangerous place her mind was in. All she could see was Joel.

Once he was done, Joel collected the bloody shards in a piece of gauze and stuck them in the first aid kit. They couldn’t leave any trail. Y/n reached into the box and pulled out a bandage roll. Joel placed a large gauze pad over the back of her hand and unrolled the spool. He pulled Y/n’s hand closer to him across the table, lifting it up as he wrapped it in the material. He handled her with all the delicacy he could muster.

Y/n watched him wrap her hand, thinking of the last time he’d been this soft with her. For as rough around the edges as Joel had always been, there was a tenderness that had only ever been reserved for her and Sarah. To feel it again was to travel twenty years into the past, to feel their fingers intertwine as they laid in bed or walked down the street…

She almost forgot about her anger, just for a moment.

Joel secured the bandage and gently set her hand back on the table. They peered up at one another, the cautious look in their eyes saying more than their lips ever could.

“Thank you,” Y/n muttered.

Joel simply nodded, retracting his hands back into his sides. Reintroducing the feel of Y/n’s skin was dangerous, muscle memory was sure to seek out and seek more and more of it. He balled up his fists and set them in his lap.

Settled, Y/n glanced over at Ellie, who was seated against the wall with her knees to her chest. With a minute of calm on their side, they were all trying to deal with what had happened after the crash.

“Are you guys okay?” Ellie asked.

Y/n held up her bandaged hand, one side of her mouth twitching upwards.

“I’m all right,” Joel answered, looking anywhere but at Ellie as he struggled, “Are you…all right?”

“Yeah,” Ellie mumbled quickly.

Joel fiddled with his hand, there was a duality to him he didn’t know how to properly function out of. Twenty years of burying your feelings could leave you severely impaired by the time you needed to access them again.

“Thing is, I didn’t hear that guy comin’,” he sighed.

“Neither of us did,” Y/n looked up, her and Joel’s eyes meeting again in mutual guilt.

Joel turned back to Ellie, “You shouldn’t have had to…you know.”

“Well, you’re glad I did, right?” Ellie asked, needing reassurance that she’d done the right thing.

Good and bad were so muddled, post-pandemic. Y/n was glad she’d kept her life, but it came at the expense of another piece of Ellie’s innocence. What was she supposed to say?

“Thing is, you’re just a kid,” Joel said for the both of them, “You shouldn’t know what it means to…” he diverted his eyes, desperately searching for the magic words to make her feel any better, “It’s not like you killed him. But shootin’ or…” he sighed, “I know what it’s like, first time that you, uh, hurt someone like that.”

Y/n stayed quiet, unable to watch Joel’s painful attempt. She knew the moment he was referring to, and it hadn’t been the dick in the bar all those years ago.

“If you, uh,” Joel tried, stuttering on consonants after, “I’m not good at this.”

“Yeah,” Ellie numbly agreed, “You really aren’t.”

“I mean it was my fault,” Joel rushed out, glancing over to Y/n, “Our fault. You shouldn’t have had to,” he made sure to look in Ellie’s eyes, “And I’m sorry.”

“I am too,” Y/n added, her throat nearly clogging up.

Ellie soaked in their words, hurriedly wiping away at the tears welling in her eyes. It only made Joel and Y/n feel worse about their mistake.

“It wasn’t my first time,” Ellie spoke up, not looking in either of their directions.

While they were both emotionally guarded, Y/n was the more available between her and Joel. Her heart still beat for those in need. She got up from the table and came to Ellie, sliding down the wall until she was sitting next to her. She didn’t reach out, she just wanted Ellie to know that she wasn’t alone.

Joel’s way of showing he cared bled through in the way he protected. If he could ensure his people were safe, he could breathe easier.

He got down on his knees in front of Ellie, unloading her pistol from his pocket and handing it back to her.

“Show me your grip,” he said, “Finger off the trigger.”

Ellie held up the gun, barely concealing her joy at finally getting to learn.

“Now who taught you that?” Joel asked.

“FEDRA school,” she answered.

“Figures,” he muttered, Y/n scoffed alongside him. He maneuvered Ellie’s fingers, “Your thumb over your thumb. Left hand squeezes down on the right.”

Y/n reached out with her good hand, tucking one of Ellie’s stray fingers in. “Pinkies in,” she smirked, “There’s no princesses here.”

“There you go,” Joel sat back, “Look it.”

He tugged on the gun, trying to pull the gun from Ellie’s grip, but it held. She giggled as he yanked her forward.

“Okay?” Joel said sternly.

Ellie nodded, a smile still painted across her face.

Joel loaded the cartridge back into the weapon and safely handed it back to Ellie, who went to stuff it in her pocket.

“Uh-uh,” Joel shook his head, “You put it in your pack. You’ll shoot your damn ass off.”

Y/n turned her head away and snickered, still not wanting to give Joel the satisfaction of getting a laugh out of her. Joel got to his feet and extended a hand out to her. Y/n begrudgingly took it and let him pull her up.

Noting that outside had gone quiet, Joel nodded towards the door. Him and Y/n headed over and began ripping off the rotten wood boards nailed over the entrance. They had one clean shot at the high rise, they couldn’t make any missteps.

They paused when Ellie approached, both of them wanting her to trust that they’d get her to safety.

“We’re gonna be okay,” Y/n said, trying to make herself believe it too.

“I know,” Ellie muttered, the levity of the past moment having disappeared.

Joel and Y/n’s gazes met, neither one sure of what there was to say. They were developing their language through their silence, the nail biting seconds between safety and risking their lives. It was a level they had never connected on, because there had never been a need.

“Let’s go,” Y/n said softly.

Inhaling, Joel opened the door and they filed out into the empty street, bolting for the building they hoped would shelter them…

—————————

The journey to the high rise didn’t go as easy as they’d hoped, having to dip and duck into abandoned shops and restaurants. With the dark having blanketed them on the way, their arrival felt like an even bigger win when they got there.

There was the small task of getting in to the building.

Joel, Ellie and Y/n stared up at the vent that would grant them access to unlock the door.

“Alright, short stack,” Y/n announced to Ellie, “You’re up.”

Ellie, eager to be a part in any way she could, stepped forward. Joel nabbed a loose piece of wood resting against the wall and handed it to her.

“We’ll brace you,” Joel said, “Be careful going through, could be a long drop.”

“Got it,” Ellie nodded.

Joel bent down, locking his hands together. “You’re just gonna put your foot there,” he instructed.

“Okay,” Ellie breathed. Y/n was standing by, waiting to be needed.

“One, two,” Joel counted before lifting Ellie up.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,” the girl said, panicked. Y/n jumped in and steadied her hips.

“Straighten up,” Joel directed, “I got you.”

Ellie stiffened her body, getting traction in the safety of Y/n and Joel’s arms, and rammed the wood into the vent. It clattered to the building’s floor. Joel and Y/n helped thread her through the hole, dusting off their hands after.

“Okay, I’m in,” Ellie called.

“Take a look around first,” Joel told her, the sound of her sneakers hitting the floor defiantly, “Ellie!”

“Come on,” Y/n grumbled, following the clattering noises Ellie made straight to the door. It swung open.

“Where would you be without me, huh?” Ellie asked proudly.

“By now, Wyoming,” Joel replied as he and Y/n walked through.

“Oh, yeah,” Ellie admitted, “Walked into that one.”

They carefully made their way through the mess-ridden building, it looked like it had once been a loading dock. A stray car, multiple signs on the walls with instructions and packing materials scattered across the floor.

“All right, we’ll make our way up,” Joel laid out the plan, “And come morning, I’ll take a look at the city and find our way out.”

Y/n walked ahead and pushed open the door that led to the stairs, Joel shining his light behind her.

“We’re going up 42 flights?” Ellie asked.

“45,” Joel answered, flicking the light upward to reveal the dauntingly tall structure, “But no, not all the way.”

“How far then?” Y/n asked.

Joel heavily sighed, “As far as I can make it.”

Ellie laughed while Y/n rolled her eyes, their fate was to be determined by Joel’s knees.

The cockiness should have been saved for later, or ignored entirely.

After the tenth flight, Y/n was huffing and puffing along with Joel. Years of fighting and manual labor hadn’t been kind to either of them, but the day’s exhausting circumstances weren’t helping.

“Not so easy, is it?” Joel quipped, following Y/n’s panting, hunched over form.

“Fuck…” Y/n drew a deep breath as she turned another corner, “You…Miller.”

“Hey, you know that guy who said he was hurt?” Ellie asked, changing the subject, “How did you guys know it was an ambush?”

Joel and Y/n paused on their respective steps, feeling weight drop on them for different reasons.

“I can’t speak for him,” Y/n answered, drawing a breath, “But when I made my way up to Boston, there were all sorts of people trying all sorts of things. Stories get through the QZ too. People saying that they lost loved ones to raiders…” Y/n shook her head, “It’s a fucking disgusting business.”

Joel almost grimaced, resting against the railing. How the hell was he supposed to answer now?

“I’ve been on both sides,” he admitted, “It was a long time ago, we did what we needed to survive.”

“You and Tess?” Ellie asked.

“And the people we were with,” Joel continued, not knowing which bit of what he was about to say would affect Y/n more, “My brother, too.”

Y/n was braced against the railing, gripping the bar so tight she knew her knuckles were white. Joel was different now, a completely transformed man from the one she’d known. She had watched him kill, torture and separate entirely from his heart. But much like when he beat up the FEDRA guard back in the QZ, there was a part of her that didn’t want to believe the man she’d loved was fully gone.

Maybe it was inevitable. Maybe no one could stay pure in a world of bloodshed.

“Did you kill innocent people?”

Ellie’s question gave Y/n the burst of energy she needed to get up the next flight of stairs and she fled the conversation

The thing about knowing someone better than you know yourself is that the connection is forever. No matter how many changes either person goes through, no matter how much life beats them down and time rusts them…there are inherent pieces of their personality that remain the same. In each footstep that carried Y/n up the stairs, Joel felt the shame of his past choices ache a little more inside his soul. Somewhere, six layers underneath her bitterness, lay the heart of a woman who wouldn’t naturally hurt a fly. And here he was, having undergone a hideous transformation that could have given fairytales a run for their money.

If Y/n was a gentle sweep of rain, Joel was a hurricane, bringing death and destruction wherever he went.

“C’mon,” he said to Ellie, the only answer he could manage.

They climbed a little longer before Joel called out to Y/n, one flight above them. “Stop.”

Y/n paused, reluctantly descending to meet them where they were. Joel opened the door to their designated floor, out of breath and willpower.

“Holy shit,” Ellie breathed, short on oxygen, but better than Y/n or Joel.

Joel backed up against the wall, sliding down to the floor in exhaustion. “Yeah.”

“Thirty three floors,” Ellie continued cheerily, “That’s good.”

Y/n was bent over, bracing herself against her knees as she tried to catch her breath.

“It’s gonna have to be,” Joel panted.

Ellie extended a hand to him, “Come on.”

“Gimme a minute,” he complained, he wasn’t even sure he could move.

Ellie wasn’t having any of it, she knew what would motivate Joel. “Get up, you lazy ass.”

Y/n snorted, earning a glare from Joel. She didn’t shy away from staring back at him.

Joel reached up and took Ellie’s outstretched palm, “Lazy ass,” he grumbled, walking past both girls, “Fifty six years old, you little shit.”

Ellie laughed, Y/n patting her on the back as she walked past.

Joel grabbed a fire extinguisher from the wall and rammed it into the glass door of one of the apartments. He let Y/n and Ellie in first before entering himself.

“Oh, sweet,” Ellie exclaimed, dropping her backpack in the middle of the room, “There’s a couch.”

“Hallelujah,” Y/n replied, setting her bag down as well, while Ellie began rounding up the cushions.

Joel pulled out a drawer form one of the cabinets, carefully collecting the glass shards he’d created and shaking them across the floor. Y/n acknowledged it was a good idea, a makeshift alarm system, while she helped Ellie build their beds.

“Joel,” Ellie called, confused as to what she was watching. He didn’t reply. “Joel…”

Y/n spoke up, “Joel.”

He turned quickly, “What?”

“What are you doing?” Ellie asked.

“I don’t want someone sneakin’ up on us while we’re sleepin’,” he explained.

“Oh,” Ellie elongated, “I get it. Crunch, crunch, crunch. Are you sure you’re gonna hear it?”

“Of course I’ll hear it,” Joel replied, impatiently, “That’s the damn point.”

“Okay,” Ellie said, laying down on her couch cushion bed.

The dilemma Y/n faced was simple: two beds, three people. The easiest thing was to share with Ellie, which she was on her way to do when Ellie starfished, blocking any extra room she had.

“Come on,” Y/n urged, nudging the bottom cushion with her boot, “I’m exhausted.”

“There’s a perfectly good bed over there,” she nodded towards Joel’s section of the floor.

The ex-lover’s eyes met, panic in their gazes.

“Absolutely not,” Y/n stated, turning back to Ellie.

“Why?” Ellie replied, faux innocence in her tone and a smirk on her face, “Shouldn’t be a problem if you two are getting along.”

Every part of Y/n’s body wanted to jump through the apartment’s window and take her chances leaping to her death. Anything was preferable to sharing a bed with Joel again.

Joel felt the same way, he didn’t need to feel any more confused around Y/n than he already was. Laying beside her again would just be another punishment from some higher power.

“I’ll take the floor,” Joel reluctantly offered.

“What, so we have to listen to you complain about your back all day?” Y/n replied, “No, I’ll take the floor.”

“You’re gonna be fuckin’ miserable if you do,” Joel brought up, “And you’ll slow us down.”

Y/n paused, taking a deep breath, trying to get over herself enough to realize Joel was right. They both needed rest.

“Fine,” she conceded, “Back to back.”

Joel nodded, the two of them kneeling down beside the cushions and balling up their jackets.

It was an awkawrd dance, trying to maneuver themselves onto the narrow bed without touching too much. Y/n had to wiggle around, clinging to the edge of the cushion so she wouldn’t fall off. Inevitably, the entirety of their bodies ended up pressed together like magazine pages. Twenty years ago, it was the moment where one of them would flip over and wrap their arms around the other as they drifted off to sleep. Now, they lay stiff as boards, trying not to set off any memories or sensations.

“Well, goodnight,” Ellie said, comfortably curled up in a ball.

“Yeah, goodnight,” Joel grunted.

“Goodnight,” Y/n was facing Ellie and her smirk, “You little shit.”

Joel shut his eyes, trying to force himself to fall asleep quickly. But there was an unfinished part of his day that he couldn’t let go of.

“Ellie,” he called.

“Yeah?”

“When we were talkin’ about hurtin’ people,” he recalled, “What did you mean it wasn’t your first time?”

Ellie stiffened, rolling over onto her back, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Y/n watched the girl’s countenance change, for as much as they’d gotten to know each other the last few weeks, they didn’t actually know anything. There was blood on both their hands and Ellie wanted the dark of night to hide hers. Y/n couldn’t blame her.

“All right,” Joel conceded, only for a second, before rolling over on his other side. Y/n could feel him shift and knew he was trying to face Ellie. She flipped onto her back so he could see across the room.

“You don’t have to,” Joel continued, trying to keep his body as compact as possible, “Just sayin’…it isn’t fair, your age…havin’ to deal with all this.”

Y/n tried to steady her inhale, Joel’s warm breath fanned over her face, setting her nerve endings alight. The window idea was looking better and better…

Ellie turned her head to face the adults, “So it gets easier when you get older?”

“It never gets easier,” Y/n spoke up, attempting to release some of the pressure inside her from her own sins, “It just…you shouldn’t have to deal with this stuff yet.”

Joel’s eyes traveled over Y/n’s face, seeing all the pieces of her he couldn’t recognize. There were two decades of her life he had been absent for. Just as he carried stories and scars earned over time, she did too. It still hurt to see her hurt.

“The reason I asked whether you’d hear the glass or not,” Ellie flipped over to face Joel and Y/n, “Is ‘cause I’ve noticed you don’t hear too well from your right side. Is it cause you were shot there?”

Y/n twisted her head to get a look at Joel’s ear. She’s gathered enough information to make an educated guess, but years of fighting had taught her that it took more than one bullet to take out someone’s hearing.

Joel glanced down at Y/n, their breaths mingling in the small space left between them. It would have been so easy to lean down, or even just touch her cheek. Such intimacies belonged in their past life, but Joel could feel his resolve slipping with each second he spent in bed with her.

Y/n felt the draw too. She felt weak for admitting that through her anger, she was still as drawn to Joel as she had been the night they’d met. He may have changed in every way conceivable, but with the small taste she was getting of his body, she knew his firm frame was the same as she remembered. Something about that tortured Y/n more than if he’d completely transformed.

They were wading in dangerous waters.

“Probably more from shootin’,” Joel answered, swallowing hard and turning back over on his side, “So if you wanna keep your hearin’, you stick to that knife.”

The action of moving brought Y/n out of whatever trance she’d been in. She felt fucking weak, feeling any sort of attraction to the man who’d broken her heart. Rolling back onto her side, she shut her eyes and tried to calm her body down.

“Joel,” Ellie said softly, “Y/n.”

They answered at the same time, “Hm?”

“Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?”

Y/n carefully moved the sleeve of her jacket to block her twitching mouth.

Joel barely turned over, “What?”

“Yeah,” Ellie replied, “It runs in your jeans.”

He twisted to get a look at Ellie, who was smirking at them both, and fell back onto his side.

Y/n was desperately trying to contain her giggling, practically holding her breath.

Facing away from them, Joel smirked and muttered something to himself. A whisper of a chortle escaped him. “That is so damn stupid,” he admonished.

“You laughed, motherfucker,” Ellie giggled.

“I didn’t laugh,” Joel shot back.

“Yes, you did,” Ellie replied.

“I’m losin’ it.”

“You’re losin’ it big time,” Ellie grinned.

Y/n snorted, unable to hold it in any longer.

“I knew it would work again,” Ellie exclaimed, lording the two-time award winning joke over Y/n’s head. It was the only one in the book that got her to crack.

“It’s so fucking stupid,” Y/n laughed, digging her entire face into her jacket.

All it took was hearing the sweet melody again, and Joel was pushed over the edge. He had been on pins and needles since meeting her again, naturally waiting to hear Y/n laugh again. In their life, circumstances didn’t occur often that gave you the opportunity to find humor. He’d accepted he may never hear it again. And now, with her back shaking against his, he couldn’t stop himself from joining in.

As soon as Joel’s shakes being to reverberate off her body, Y/n felt a wave of grief and relief come over her. To hear his giggles, a sound only she’d ever been privy to, felt like coming home after a long day. She wanted to fight it, to rage against all pleasant memories of him, but she wanted a moment of peace more. She wanted to laugh.

Ellie was the loudest of them all, reigning victorious over Joel and Y/n’s stubbornness. It was so needed after the day they’d had.

“Go to sleep,” Joel said, his chuckle contradicting his order.

“You go to sleep,” Ellie laughed, rolling on her bed.

“Both of you go to sleep,” Y/n snorted, her voice lighting up the darkest parts of Joel.

There were two more rounds of giggling, one started by Ellie and one by Y/n. Joel couldn’t stop from joining both. It was the first moment of joy, true joy, that he’d felt in twenty years.

——————

At some point in their sleep, Y/n and Joel inevitably turned over. Y/n had been keeping her hands close to her chest, cradling the injured one. And somewhere in the timeline of the evening, Joel had unconsciously reached over and placed one of his hands over them both. How he blindly found it, how he knew she was trying to protect it, those answers belonged to the blanket of night. But Joel’s fingers wrapped around her bloody fist, protecting her even in his sleep.

He had also rolled over on his good ear.

“Y/n…Y/n.”

Y/n jumped at the call of her name, looking down at her and Joel’s intertwined hands and pulling back. She twisted onto her back, jumping back at the sight of the child standing over her, pointing a gun at them. Her peripheral vision caught Ellie with her hands up in surrender and a man with his own weapon aimed at her.

“Joel,” Y/n raised her hands, kicking her ex in the shin, “Joel!”

He startled awake.

——————

TYL Taglist: @bachiracore @stolenxkissess @kayleezra @the-wistful-reader @allthesesonsofbitches @goth-detectives365 @trippovert @rh1nestonecowg1rl @emiliaserpe @khaleesihavilliard @frietiemeloen @gracie7209 @dorck26 @thegirlnextdoorssister @alanis-altair @mariwinns16 @whosscruffylooking @endofthexline @alexiaricciardo @eonnyx @pedrosmexicangf @scarlettequinn @ao-sleepy @toinfinityandbeyonce2 @deanlovescassie @turmoil-ash @sorrowjunky @kpopslur @xxlilyxx90 @midgetpottermills @presidential-facts @scoopsnini @tubble-wubble @jamesdeerest @burninggracesandbridges @star-wars-lover @lucyhotchner @cococola-cocaine @witheringhqarts @fall-writes @alwaysdjarin @xxmoonn @emilia-the-artist @wand-erer5 @boneyarrd @lizard-zombie @itwasallinmyhead1 @cassidylea123 @paleepeaches @mxltifxnd0m @kettlekatie @ultimate-cinephile @gloryekaterina @caramelkatsukis-bitch @whovianayesha @memeorydotcom @deadunicorn159 @get0ut0fmyr00m @siriuslymooned @emmyeed @superbreadsoul @hellu-people1 @ourautumn86 @inas-thing @noraapple05 @givemylovetoall @luvwanda @avengersfan25 @pedr0swh0r3 (tags cont. in comments)

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #the last of us imagine #the last of us fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us spoilers #twenty years later

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proxima-writes · 1 year

Text

Title: cruel summer | chapter 3

Pairing: Joel Miller/Female Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ MDNI)

Chapters: 6/6

Read on AO3 | Join the tag list

Summary:

Joel takes a contracting job renovating a master bedroom and bathroom while the homeowners are away for the summer on a cruise.

He wasn’t expecting their twenty-three year old daughter and the thoughts he’d have about her.

Author’s Note: thank you so much for all the love on this little fic! Please consider leaving a comment because they make my whole day 🖤

Additional warnings/tags: age difference (15 years), explicit sexual content, dirty talk (like a LOT), pet names, vaginal fingering, begging, mentions of overstimulation, mentions of oral (f receiving), p in v, fluff, mild angst. Let me know if I’m missing anything!

The next couple weeks feel like a dream that you never want to wake up from. Joel comes over every morning and gives you a sweet kiss before heading upstairs to start on his work while you study, actually being able to focus now that the air is cleared with him. He comes down at lunch and sits beside you with a hand on your thigh while you chat and eat, his eyes all soft as he watches you gesture wildly about the topic at hand.

He’s come back over a couple times after working hours. If Tommy or his neighbor’s teenage daughter are able to watch Sarah for a couple hours, he’ll stop by your house to spend time with you. Most of his visits just end with making out on the couch like a couple of teenagers because no matter how much you beg, he still won’t fuck you.

You can’t tell if it’s a residual feeling of guilt or something else, but it’s driving you insane. He’ll enthusiastically do just about anything else, including a memorable evening where he laid you out on the couch and leisurely ate your pussy until you had to literally shove him away from how overstimulated you were getting. And while that was amazing, you want more from the older man.

Two weeks after your conversation and subsequent activities, Joel comes downstairs on a Friday with a smile on his face.

“Hey, baby,” he says, leaning down to kiss you. His tongue traces your bottom lip, slipping into your mouth to slide with yours. “How’s studyin’?” He asks as he pulls away, huffing a laugh as you chase his lips with a pout.

“Fine. Boring. How’s the manly manual labor?”

“Comin’ along nicely. Listen, I wanna ask you somethin’,” he says. “Sarah wants to go to the aquarium tomorrow to see the mermaids. She asked if you could come, too.”

You blink in surprise. “Sarah asked for me?”

“Yeah, she won’t shut up about you,” he replies. “You don’t gotta come if you’ve already got—“

“I do! I mean, I do…want to go. To the aquarium with you and Sarah,” you interrupt.

“Good, that’s…good,” Joel says. You’re just smiling at each other like a couple idiots. He clears his throat and glances away for a second. “We can pick you up tomorrow morning. How’s nine?”

“Nine sounds great.”

He nods, knocking his knuckles against the table top in the way he does when he needs to leave but doesn’t want to. He leans down for another kiss, this one chaste and quick as he bids you goodbye.

“See you tomorrow, sweetheart.”

_______

Joel parks the truck in front of your house, sending you a quick text to let you know he’s here. Sarah is bouncing in her seat, her little body unable to contain her excitement.

He watches you come out the front door in a fucking sundress of all things and he has to bite back a groan of appreciation. You’re usually in shorts or leggings at your house, which are tempting enough, but your little blue sundress with strawberries printed on it has just jumped to the top of his list of “best things he’s ever seen in his life”.

Joel gets out of the driver’s seat and circles the truck to open the door for you, helping you up into the lifted cab. His hand lingers on your upper back, fingers dragging across your warm, smooth skin. He smiles with smug satisfaction as he watches your arms erupt with goosebumps from his touch.

Sarah calls your name excitedly. “We’re gonna see mermaids!”

You twist in your seat to respond. “I know! Just like Ariel, huh?”

Sarah nods excitedly and proceeds to list off the rest of the animals she’s excited to see, including the stingrays and otters and sharks. You nod along with her list and tell her about how much you love otters, and did she know that otters hold hands when they’re sleeping so that they don’t float away from each other?

Joel can’t stop smiling. He can’t remember the last time he smiled for so long his cheeks ached. Your eyes flit to him briefly and you smile back, bright and sweet.

He parks the truck amongst the hundreds of other visitors in the parking lot and Sarah frees herself from the confines of her car seat. You hop down and join her on the pavement, his daughter’s arms wrapping around your waist and holding tightly until Joel joins the two of you.

“Let’s go see some mermaids,” he says.

________

Sarah’s sitting beside you, her little hand holding tightly to yours while she breathlessly watches the mermaid show. It’s two young women in gorgeous green and red tail suits, diving and flipping while an emcee narrates the show. They take the occasional break with a breathing apparatus, but otherwise they’re holding their breath while smiling and waving at the kids sitting with their noses pressed to the tank glass.

When the show ends, Joel asks Sarah whether she wants to meet the mermaids, earning him a shriek that you interpret to be a yes. He holds her hand as you get in line for the meet and greet, and gives her his undivided attention while she recounts every minute of the exact show he just watched beside her.

Joel insists that you get in the picture with them. A teen with a Polaroid camera tells you to smile.

You don’t have to be told twice.

Sarah clutches that Polaroid protectively to her chest and proclaims, “This is the best day ever!”

Your heart feels like it’s going to burst.

________

Joel takes his girls out for dinner after a long day at the aquarium. Sarah sits beside him in the booth at a local bar and grill, clutching a stuffed otter you insisted on buying for her despite his objections that he didn’t want you spending money.

“When’s that exam again?” He asks, snagging one of the nachos from the plate in the center.

“Ugh, end of next week,” you groan. “At this point I’m just ready for it to be over. If I never look at another physics practice test, I’ll die a happy woman.”

“What happens next?”

“Well, I go back to school for senior year. If I bomb the exam, I can take it again before April so that I have my scores available to apply to med school in May,” you say, ticking the steps off on your fingers. “Since I graduate before the end of the application cycle, I’ll have a gap to fill. I was thinking of making it a research year.”

Sometimes, especially in moments like this, Joel finds himself in awe of you, of the way you have your life planned out and your goals ready for conquering. When he was your age, he was still working odd jobs until one finally stuck that he could actually make a living from.

It’s also moments like this that he wonders if he’ll fit into your plans. If you’ll even want him to, or if you’ll go after your next goal and leave him behind, just a fun time from a cruel summer. The thought makes him swallow around the lump forming in his throat.

________

“So, did you want me to drop you off or…,” Joel asks when you’re back in the truck, his eyes fixed resolutely on the road.

“Or…?” You reply, voice dragging the word out.

“You could come over,” he suggests. You bite your lip.

“Why Mr. Miller, are you asking me to spend the night?”

His cheeks turn a delicious shade of pink beneath his beard. “Yeah, I am, baby doll.”

Your breath catches at the endearment. “I’d love to come over.”

His hand crosses the center console, gripping your thigh possessively for the rest of the quiet drive back to his house.

_______

Joel pulls up to a cute two story house at the end of a quiet cul de sac about fifteen minutes from your parent’s home. Sarah fell asleep not long after leaving the restaurant, so he carefully gathers her in his arms and hands you the house keys to unlock the front door for him.

“Make yourself comfortable,” he tells you. “I’m just gonna get little miss here in bed.”

“Okay,” you whisper back, watching him disappear upstairs.

You wander through the first floor, into the kitchen with its pretty bay window with a view of a small backyard. You inspect the fridge and the pictures and drawings stuck to it with magnets. There’s a photo of a younger looking Joel with an arm slung around the shoulders of a man you assume is Tommy, based on the resemblance. Another photo with a scared looking Joel holding a blanketed bundle that must be a newborn Sarah.

You reach out to trace a finger over the Joel frozen in time, a version of himself that didn’t know he’d grow out of that fear and be an amazing father.

You nearly jump when hands slip around your hips, fingers bunching the fabric of your dress in their grip. Joel’s beard tickles your neck as he kisses your pulse point and down to your shoulder.

“You have any idea how insane you’ve been drivin’ me all goddamn day?” He asks, voice a rough whisper against your skin. “This dress should be illegal.”

“It’s a perfectly respectable dress!” You argue. His laugh is dangerous, the rumble of it making your thighs clench in want.

“The things I wanna do to you aren’t perfectly respectable, honey.” His hands pull your hips back against his, grinding your ass against the bulge in his jeans.

You reach a hand back to bring his face to yours over your shoulder, kissing him with a desperation that’s been brewing and bubbling for weeks now. One of his strong hands grips a breast tightly, making you moan louder than you meant to.

“Be quiet, baby,” he warns. That hand slides down until he’s reaching the hem of your dress, pulling it up and holding it in front of your mouth. “Bite it. You keep that out of my way, okay?”

You nod, fabric clenched between your teeth as his hand trails down your stomach, fingers finding the damp patch on your panties and pressing it against you.

“Fuck , sweetheart. Been walkin’ around with panties this wet? Pussy so desperate it can’t help but weep, huh?”

Those fingers slip past the elastic and the first touch to your sensitive clit has you trying to squirm out of his tight hold.

“Uh, uh,” Joel admonishes. He cups your entire pussy roughly. “You stay still or I stop. Still and quiet so I can take care of you, alright?”

You sob around the fabric clenched between your teeth and he takes that as agreement.

His fingers slide through your wetness and he groans into your ear, nipping at the lobe as he circles your clit, the delicious roughness of his callouses making you whine.

Joel only dips the tip of one finger into your hole, withdrawing quickly and leaving you clenching on nothing. When you whine again, he takes pity on you, finally plunging one deep inside before dragging it out slowly, curling it against you.

“You’re gonna be the goddamn death of me,” he growls as he adds a second finger, the stretch of it making you moan. “But Christ almighty, what a fuckin’ way to go, huh?”

With his fingers stretching your cunt and his thumb pressing to your clit and his dirty words in your ear, it's no surprise that you’re already standing on the precipice of release.

“Come on, baby, don’t hold back on me, I can feel you gripping my fingers so fuckin’ good.” His hand works faster and you cry out, the fabric of your dress falling from your mouth. It’s swiftly replaced by his hand. “That’s it, good girl.”

Joel pulls his hand from your underwear and you slump against him, boneless and sated. He’s turning you around in his arms, gripping the backs of your thighs and lifting you up, urging your legs around his waist. He takes a few steps and sets you on the counter.

“Baby, I gotta fuck you,” Joel says, his voice tinged with desperation. “Can I fuck you, sweetheart?”

________

Joel holds his breath as he waits for you to respond, watching your blissed out expression. You smile at him, reaching forward to wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull him into a deep, filthy kiss. Your teeth dig into his bottom lip, pulling it gently with you as you lean back.

“Please fuck me, Joel,” you whisper, spreading your legs. “Been dyin’ to have your cock in me.”

Joel reaches beneath your dress to tear your panties down your legs, letting them drop to the floor. He reaches into his back pocket and hands you the condom he’d stashed. “Open this,” he commands as he undoes the fly of his pants, shoving them down his thighs in a hurry.

You tear open the foil packet with shaky hands, handing the latex over to him to roll down his length. He slides his cock through your wetness, reveling in how your head drops back with a groan of his name.

Joel begins to ease inside, gritting his teeth as he sinks into your warmth. He’d imagined this countless times and yet nothing compares to the real thing. How your body opens up so sweetly, like it was made just for him. How your mouth drops open as you watch him break you apart.

He forces himself to go slowly, to give you time to adjust. You’ve got one hand propping you up on the counter and the other gripping his shoulder so tight he thinks he might bruise.

“I gotta move, sugar, you feel too damn good,” he says through his teeth. “Tell me I can move, baby, please.”

“Yes, yes, move,” you reply.

Joel withdraws slowly before slamming forward, punching a gasp from your lungs. He does it again and again and again, hardly wanting to be disconnected from you for even a moment. He watches your face, committing the flush of your cheeks and the shimmer of unshed tears in your eyes to memory.

“ Joel,” you sob, your hand digging into his hair and pulling him close. You’re not kissing him, too fucked out for that much coordination, but your lips linger against his as the two of you share the same breath.

“That feel good, darlin’?” Joel asks. You nod your head vigorously. “Come on, baby, tell me how good my fuckin’ cock feels.”

“F-feels s-so g-good,” you stutter. “Want more.”

“More? Tell me how to give you more, I’ll give you whatever the fuck you want.”

“Touch me, baby, please.”

Joel maintains his relentless pace as he reaches a hand down to draw sloppy circles over your clit. He watches as you bite your lip, a single tear slipping down your cheek in an effort to stay quiet. He leans forward to kiss it away.

It’s not long before you’re tightening around him, your eyebrows pinched as your orgasm looms. His own hips stutter in their rhythm.

“Come on, sweetheart, need to feel you cum all over my cock. Can you do that for me?”

You wrap both arms around his shoulders, keeping yourself pressed tightly to him as you sink your teeth into his shoulder to suppress your shout as you pulse around him. With a growl, Joel follows your lead to ecstasy, spilling inside of you.

His hips slow to a stop, but he keeps himself pressed inside of you, not ready to break the connection. He pulls back only enough to press a slow, languid kiss to your lips.

“That was gorgeous, darlin’,” he says, and he fights a laugh as you blush and squirm beneath him, as if you hadn’t just been begging for and cumming on his cock not five minutes earlier. He slips from your warmth with a groan and you give a little whimper.

He disposes of the used condom, pulling his pants back up but not bothering to button them. He returns to stand between your legs and you drape your arms around his shoulders, your fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Joel?”

“Yes, baby?”

“What is it with you and kitchens?” You ask. Your face splits with a cheeky grin.

Joel laughs so hard his stomach hurts, your own giggles echoing him. He drags you off the counter, setting you on your feet.

“Come on, let’s get to bed.”

Tags: @huffle-punk @telepathay @johnwatsn @hopelessromantic727 @caatheeriinee07 @leeeesahhh @whereasport @pedr0swh0r3

#joel miller x female reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel tlou #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller #no use of y/n #ao3 fic #tlou #hbo tlou

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eeunoia · 7 months

Text

ENHYPEN Mini Series

ENHYPEN as Taylor Swift Songs

CRUEL SUMMER

synopsis: summer is what you’ve always looked forward to. not just because there’s no school, but also because you’ll be seeing your brother’s bestfriend and also the love of your life, park jongseong.

pairings: jay park x reader

word count: 12k.

warnings: angst, kissing, party, alcohol mentioned, suggestive. please take note that oc is at legal age already when this happened, no intention of grooming or anything.

note📎: i got totally carried away writing this. i just love cruel summer x jay concept. he fits so much? i hope you like this because i enjoyed writing this. your reply and reblog means a lot and my ask are open for you thoughts. thank you and stay safe.

“Will Heeseung oppa come home this summer, Mom?” your eyes are hopeful as you wait for her response. Both of you are at the kitchen, cleaning up. Dinner just finished and you are here trying to give her a hand.

“Of course.” as she continues to place the clean dishes over the drawers.

She glanced at you, no suspicion can be seen over her eyes. Of course, you are always been very close to your brother so having you asking for this kind of question is not a surprise to anyone anymore. You are indeed curious if your brother will come home. You missed him and all, but what’s excites you more is his best friend that always comes here with him.

Park Jongseong, everyone calls him Jay. He’s very handsome, cool and well mannered guy. Your parents has always been very fond of him ever since they moved in town back when he’s in sixth grade. He became friends with your brother and they became very close to the point that your house became his second home. Your parents offered him to come here every summer since most of his family lives in america now and he doesn’t have anyone around. They feel bad for him if he spends his summer alone in their big house. It has been their routine ever since freshmen year and they’re at their third year of college now.

Now, Jay is not just handsome, he’s also very smart and extremely hot. There’s just something in him that makes your stomach wrenches and sometimes presses air out of your lungs whenever he’s around. You admit that you have a small—okay a huge crush over him. But you’re afraid that he just sees you as his little sister because he basically saw you grew up. He’s two years older than you.

You can’t exactly remember when you started to develop this feelings for him, maybe when your stares lasts longer than before. Or when he started to greet you using his low voice, leaning down so he can whisper it a bit near your ears. This changes occurred last summer. Nothing happens more than just teasing stares, his sexy smirks whenever you’re around and his occasionally soft skinship with you.

It wasn’t anything creepy. Honestly, it makes your heart jolt from time to time. You can feel excitement runs through your veins whenever he’s around. This summer, you’re more than thrilled for them to come home. You don’t know what’s going to happen or will there ever be. Afterall you just turned 18 last week. And they said a lot of exciting things starts to happen after becoming at legal age.

“Is Jay oppa coming?” you act normally, to prevent catching suspicion from your Mom. She seems to bite the trap and just nodded her head, it was obvious that she’s excited to see her two ‘sons’ this summer. That's how he calls them.

“I can’t wait for tomorrow! Do you think they will go to the lake this summer again, Mom? I want to go too!” you can’t contain your excitement just by thinking about it.

She glances at you with a smile while drying her hands over a clean cloth, “Oh, I’m sure they have a lot of other things to do this summer sweetheart.”

You pouted and tilt your head over to the side a bit, confused. “And what is it?”

“Like parties and catch up with their friends. You know how those two are too popular to be forgotten by their highschool mates.” she chuckles that made you giggle as well.

Your eyes trailed over to your hands as you play with your fingers, “Well, I guess you’re right. But do you think oppa will agree to take me with them? In parties?” voice hopeful and just by thinking about it makes your whole system jumping in excitement.

She looks at you and stared for a while before smiling, “Maybe, darling? I mean you are at the age where you’ll want to explore the world, am I right?”

You smiled brightly after having a positive answer from your Mom. You nodded your head continuously, “Right, Mom! I’m 18 now anyway.”

It was the last day of school and you are very impatient for it to finish. You’re very sure the other students feels the same way as you because school ending only means its summer already. And summer means your brother will come home with his best friend, Park Jongseong.

Your mind was filled with nothing but him throughout the whole class. Its fascinating how you never get sick of it and how you think of how much fun you guys will have this summer. Its super thrilling this time because you’re at legal age already, meaning your brother may take you with them more often than before.

It took everything in you to stop yourself from squealing in happiness once the last class was dismissed. It was stretched out by some reminders of your teacher to make sure you clear out the lockers and so on. You are too occupied to even give a care about it, busy stuffing your things inside your bag so you can be ready to go.

“We're planning to go out of town this summer break, Y/n! How about you?” your head snapped over to your group of friends the moment you heard one of them talked to you. As you look at them, all eyes were at you, waiting for your response. They looked hopeful, since you always go with them whenever you guys have hang-outs.

You flash them an apologetic smile, “Sorry guys! My brother is coming home this summer break from his college university so I’ll spend it with him.” and because Park Jongseong is coming with him. You wanted to add that, but you refrain yourself from doing so.

Some of your friends pouts in disappointment, some even have their shoulders hang low. They forgot about your yearly routine of spending your summer with your brother. Well, they couldn’t blame you because he does go to a far school and will be a sucker if you didn’t spend time with him while he’s here.

You bid good-bye to your friends right away so you can leave and go home. The bus stop was filled with students waiting for their bus. Impatiently waiting for your ride home, you fished your phone and checked if there’s any messages your brother left you. The last message he sent wss that they already left their dorms and on their way back to your town.

Upon arriving home, you walked in with your Mom busy fixing the guess room where Jay usually stays. The room across the hall was where he sleeps during the summer. She turns her head after hearing your steps and smiled widely at you.

“Hi Mom,” you greets and stood by the door just to see how the room looks.

“Hey sweetheart. Go change clothes and go down so you can help me with dinner.” she instructs that made you pout a bit.

“But I have to prepare for oppa’s arrival.”

She chuckles finding it cute how you’re preparing for your brother. She was totally clueless that it was for his bestfriend. Your pout remains with your pleading eyes for her, but she didn’t let it pass.

“It’ll only take you an hour. Plenty of time to fix yourself tho I don’t understand why you have to bother for it. It’s just your brother and Jay, its not like he took some friends with him, Y/n.” and she continues tidying the pillowcase.

Exactly. He’s coming home with Jay.

“Still, I want to look presentable.” you tried hard not to sound too suspicious about it.

She doesn’t seem to wonder and just asked you to change so you two can start already. You groaned lightly but follows what she said. Changing into a more comfortable clothes, you stride down the stairs afterwards ready to help your Mom. She was already in the kitchen, wearing her aprons.

You walked closer and helped her. The two of you started preparing the dinner. Your Dad arrived minutes after and he just asks if the two boys are home already. He went to his office after hearing that they aren’t home yet, leaving the two of you to focus on cooking.

“Done!” you let out a sigh after fixing the tables and stare at it with satisfaction.

“Great, thanks for helping me darling.”

You smiled at your Mom before telling her that you’ll go upstairs to prepare. Thankfully, she lets go of you and just went back on finishing the food.

It’s not like you will dress up too much. You want to look presentable, but not to the point that your brother will be suspicious. He’s very quick witted so you need to be extra careful. He never mentioned that you aren’t allowed to like boys, but you have no exact idea how he will react if he knew you’ve been liking his best friend for years already.

Almost finished, a knock errupted from your door. “Y/n, your brother and Jay is almost here. Go down afterwards, all right?” she reminded that you answered with a quick ‘Okay!’

You leaned closer the mirror and checked your reflection, making sure to look keenly at every details. You looked okay, but you wanted to look pretty.

“Y/n! Your brother’s here!” your mom shouted. Your eyes grew and your heart raced rapidly just by hearing her say those words.

“Oppa!” you greeted happily and ran towards your brother. He chuckles and return your hug. You are excited to see him, but what excites you more is the person he came along with.

“Hey angel.” a low husky voice said from behind you. Heart starts racing, shivers running through your spine and you felt so thrilled.

Slowly, you turned to face him and you are lost of words. There, Park Jongseong looks so handsome. His hair a bit longer than how it looks the last time you saw him. He smirks and one of his arms opened before he tilts his head.

“No hug for me?”

Your brother is now busy talking to your Mom and Dad. His smirks grew wider when you walks closer to wrap your arms over his waist. His lips slightly grazed over your forehead and you moved away seconds after the hug. You can feel your heart racing so fast, you’re afraid that it will burst out any minute now.

You glanced away, face totally flushed as you awkwardly stand just a little far from him. Jay’s eyes follows you silently and his attention diverted to your Mom when she approaches him go greet him. Your Dad also went close to say Hi. They looked so happy seeing him again.

“How’s my favourite sister?” your head snaps towards your brother as he reached your hair then messes it a bit.

Your lips gapped at what he did and quickly swat his hand away, “Oppa! Don’t mess my hair.”

He smiles, finding you cute when you’re annoyed. “Come on, I just missed my baby sis.” he says, tone obviously taunting. It made you flush and tried to roll your eyes, but gave in to his sibling hug. Like you mentioned, your brother and you grew up very close so this is naturally normal.

“I missed you too, oppa. But you’re still so annoying.” you mumbled that he didn’t react much to.

“Enough bickering you two and let’s go eat already.” both of you followed your parents towards the dining area with you standing between the two tall boys.

Having to stand beside Jay was both nerve wrecking and thrilling for you. It’s not like this is the first time, but maybe you just like him that much. Clearly, you are aware of your feelings and now every small actions or interactions you get with him makes you all flustered.

The dinner started, you sitting at your usual spot which is beside your brother and Jay in front of him. Your brother assisted you, putting food on your plate, teasing you from time to time as he continues chatting with your parents about college. Of course, your parents won’t ever make Jay feel left out as they ask him questions too.

“So Jay, we heard from Hee that you two are doing well in the rugby team.” Dad turns with a proud smile and hopeful eyes towards the young guy, looking forward on hearing more about the sport.

“Ah, yes. It was fun playing, although we need to put more effort on catching lessons and missed activities.” he stated in this maturely tone. The way he says it indicates how sure and confident he is that he knows what’s going on in his life and that he’s in full control of it. You find it amusing. Totally amused.

“Oh I can only imagine the girls admiring you boys! Any chance of news about girlfriends this semester?” this time, it was your Mom’s turn to get into the conversation.

The smile on your face faded as the question was a big deal for you. The two of them were pretty popular in your town because of their looks and so much more, it won’t be much of a surprise if they gain attention in their university.

“I’m too focus on my studies, Mom. I think girls can wait. I mean if the right girl comes, then okay. If not, its totally fine too.” your brother said and took more bite over his food.

Your brother was always the playful and flirty type ever since. He may seem to be a very out-going person, but behind all these he takes school seriously. He have firm goals in life that he’s sure to achieve no matter what. His motivation and dedication in everything he does is amazing. He’s such a chic magnet, but also knows his priorities.

“That’s great, Hee.” your Dad couldn’t hold his smile, looking at your brother proud.

“But Jay here,” your brother started and smirked at his friend that now shakes his head lightly before smirking as well, glancing down his plate.

“He sure does have a reputation of making girls cry. He’s...” he stalled his words and gave out a bit exaggerated sigh, “..crazy.”

You couldn’t hide the expression on your face while you listen silently. Your eyes looked at Jay who's trying to stop your brother from ‘exposing’ him to your parents. He doesn’t seem too fazed about it and take it as a joke. Your parents and your brother seems like the same. You frown lightly and turned your eyes down your plate, started to play with your food while your mind flew far away.

“I mean Jay is very handsome and charming so I don’t doubt girls will fall for him all the time.” your Mom says and you agreed silently. You are clearly aware of how good looking Jay was! You’ve been talking about it nonstop since the beginning.

“Yeah, and a heartbreaker.” your brother jokingly insinuate that earned laughs from your parents and a subtle ‘Stop it dude.’ from Jay.

“How about you, baby sis?” your hand stopped moving as you unconsciously craned your neck to look at them. Suddenly, their attention were at you.

Pretty occupied about the sudden news of Jay breaking hearts there and there, you spaced out so the question slipped off from you. “W-What?” you asked clueless.

“Any boys that I need to watch for while I’m here for the summer?” he asks, eyebrow raising strictly at you.

Four pair of eyes looks at you and your Mom was the only one giving you innocent eyes. The other three were like predators waiting for their prey to say something wrong for them to attack. You gulped, anxious and pouted, glaring over your brother.

“N-No. What are you talking about, o-oppa?” the whole situation felt a bit awkward and flustering for you.

“Hee, cut your little sister some slack. She’s very pretty and its just normal for boys to like her and for her to like boys.” your Mom tries to meddle.

Heeseung rolls his eyes in a snobby way, “I know that she’s pretty, Mom. That’s why I will watch these suitors without blinking this summer.”

You kept your pout as your parents shrugs and laughs it off. Its not something new, your brother’s always been the protective type.

“Let her be, Hee. During these age is when they normally get boyfriends.” Mom seemed to be smiling widely at the thought of a summer romance for you.

Your brother scoffed, “Why? Do you like someone already? Perhaps a schoolmate?" his question sounded like a trap.

“N-No. I don’t like someone from school.” and as you glance away from him, your eyes caught Jay’s. It was just a brief eye contact, but sure does make your heart raced like crazy.

The dinner went on and thankfully the topic diverted about something else. All in all, you had a pretty much good time. You missed your brother’s annoying ass and enjoyed chasing glances towards Jay, eye contacting with him from time to time.

Having your brother and Jay back in town only means parties will be thrown and held continuously. Of course, they won’t miss a chance of catching up and getting to meet again after a while. Their batchmated organizing and planning gatherings up was just foreseen. That also means their group of friends, which consists of unbelievably and insanely attractive guys, will gather up and party.

Parties with super popular and attractive guys just indicates that a lot of girls will be there to see them. There is no way you will let it pass. You wanted to come with them. Try to experience how their life plays through, have a taste of Jay’s usual crowd.

“What time later, dude?” your brother asks while you all kill time by the living room, watching random tv shows.

“7 pm,” Jay lifts his eyes from his phone he’s been busy for the past two hours, constantly texing someone. You have no idea who it is, but its annoying. “Jake said he’ll meet us there with Hoon." he continues and eyes caught you staring while trying to shove another popcorn over your mouth.

You instantly flushed and stared away failing to notice how Jay’s eyes falls over your lips, busy chewing the newly popcorn inside.

“Okay, I'll get ready in a while.”

“Where are you guys going? I want to come!” excitement rulled over your tone as you flash this wide big smile to Heeseung.

His brows furrowed, a little confused. “What do you mean, you’ll come? No way.” He rejects your suggestion of joining them for tonight.

You showed disbelief and quickly protests, “Why not?!”

“It will be crazy there. I'll drink so much and I’m not sure if I can look after you.”

“I'm 18, oppa. You don’t have to look after me like I'm five.” you reminded him, just incase your brother forgot the fact that you are not a kid anymore.

Just in time, your mother walks in with grocery by her arm. Jay stood up right away seeing her and offered help that result her for smiling sweetly at him.

“Mom! Please tell oppa to let me go with them.” her eyes diverted at you with confusion.

“Where?”

“A party.” you said shortly. Her eyes then moved towards your brother.

“Take your sister with you, Hee. What time will you guys go? Are you staying for dinner?” she says continuously that made you smile widely.

“What? Mom, its a party filled with drunk teen agers and I’ll probably be super wasted and can’t look after her properly.” he tries to still argue.

“It will be fine, Hee. Its not like y/n is five or something.” her calm voice slightly reflects yours.

You grin widely at him, like a smile of victory. “See? That’s what I told him, Mom.”

Heeseung rolls his eyes and threw his head back out of defeat. Jay can only watch on silence and enjoy how you tease your brother for it.

“Fine. But once something I don’t like happen, you are going home.”

You wanted to complain and argue more, but in the end you just nodded your head. Bad things won’t happen anyway, its not like it will occur on fun events like it. You are just so happy you get to be with them in a party. You wanted so bad to see more of Jay.

After getting ready for the party, you went downstairs to see the two tall guys waiting patiently for you. Their eyes darted at your direction right away, one have blank expression the other turned a little dark out of confusion.

“Your dress is too short. Won’t you get cold?” your brother asks as he stood up to meet you halfway.

You snorted, trying to hide your nervousness and your shyness because you can still feel Jay's eyes looking at you. His heated gaze didn’t left you and was just silently watching. It made butterflies go crazy inside your stomach you couldn’t even focus at your pissed off brother.

“Don’t they normally wear this at parties?”

In the end, of course your brother couldn’t do anything about it as well. He just had to let it slide and take you to that party. He walks first, you followed and Jay’s a couple steps behind you. Not too near, but also not too far, yet his presence was enough to make your knees weak. The way his hair was brush-up, showing off that perfect forehead. His outfit looks amazing too. Now you can definitely imagine him being a playboy, going around their campus grounds breaking girls hearts.

“Have fun, kids!” you even heard your Mom shouted while you wave at her.

“Hop in.” your brother says and opened the car door for you.

Your eyes looked over to Jay and he’s on his way towards his own vehicle. Heeseung noticed where you’re looking so you teared your gaze away, fearing he will catch on right away.

“He’ll take his own car because we’re not sure if he will go home with us anyway.” he said meaningfully before he closes the door and walks towards the driver’s car.

Your chest tightens and hurt by just thinking of what he will possibly be doing if he won’t go home with you later. You aren’t that innocent, you are well aware of things and honestly jealousy pricking your heart just by the thought of it.

The drive was short, Jay’s already parked and talking to someone you aren’t familiar with. Heeseung parked right beside Jay’s and goes outside to help you get down.

“You good?” he asks and you nodded with a smile. You two walked towards Jay and they both turned their heads.

“Lee Heeseung!” the man beside him greeted your brother, “Nice to see you again dude!” he seemed very pleased to meet your brother again.

Jay walks towards you that made you hitch your breath, your eyes follows him consciously. “Fix your dress, angel.” he whispers that sent shivers through your spine.

He looked so serious and it intimidated you right away. You gulped and quickly obliged. He stood right behind you, waving and greeting some acquaintances that passes by.

“Good girl.” he smirks dangerously at you. “That’s my angel.” your body shivers at his low husky voice. You almost lose your mind.

“Who is she?” your attention darted at the guy in front your brother.

His smile faltered and swat the chest of his friend playfully, Heeseng covering you from his sight protectively.

“Stay away, dude. That’s my sister.”

He gasps, “That’s your sister already?” he sounded so amused.

Your brother shut any possible question about you then just insisted that all of you goes inside now. It was already loud from outside and its deafening inside. You’ve seen parties from movies and all, but it sure is different when you’re experiencing it firsthand. The flickering lights makes you a little dizzy and confused how people manage to know who's who.

If you’re overwhelmed, Jay and Heeseung are completely different. They are so chill about it like this kind of places are totally normal for them. People recognized and greets them right away, some eyes settles over you after greeting your brother and they will wonder who are you. Then their eyes will move towards the other tall guy behind you, and their eyes will light up excitedly.

You are in between them, your brother holding your wrist to keep you from getting lost. Some of the guys' looks stays at you, finding you pretty. It didn’t slip off from Jay and the next thing you know, his hand sneakily settled over your waist caughting you off-guard. You aren’t still over it when he did his next move, leaning so close to you, his hot breath fanning your neck.

“Don’t talk and accept drinks from anyone, okay? Stay close to your brother, angel.” he then moved away, your head following him wanting more closeness.

He waved and greeted friends as your brother continues to pull you somewhere. Jay stood there, interacting with people. His smirks looked dangerous and the way he talks with girls are obviously giving you the impression that he’s the real master of this game.

“Stay close or I’m dragging you back home.” your brother warned you and sat you down the sofa. You pout while your brother hands you down a pillow to cover your legs.

“Can’t I at least have something to drink?” you asked him with a hint of sarcasm. He can’t be serious about not giving you any drinks tonight. Gladly, he did gave you some.

Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves except from you. The lights are making you dizzy, the liquor tastes so bad, your brother flirting with a girl but kept eyeing you like some babysitter, people making out left and right and most important thing, Jay’s nowhere to be found.

After sitting there for nearly 40 minutes acting like a spoiled brat taken to a random place, you stood up and approached your brother. His eyes shifted at you right away, leaning down to hear you clearly. All of his attention at you.

“I’ll just look around for some friends. It’s boring just sitting around, oppa.” you tried to complain at him. He looked hesitant at first to let you go, but thankfully he did.

He reminded you not to accept any drinks from other people and to go back here if something happened. You assured that you’ll be alright and started roaming this big house. Its filled of kids your town, most of them are upper batch—same class with your brother— and some are your age. Some group of boys follows you with their eyes, admiring you while you’re busy searching the room with a familiar face.

“Y/n!” your head craned at the sound of your name and face brightens when you saw one of your friend.

“Fia! Omg I’m so glad to see you here.” she walks closer to you as you exclaimed that. She chuckles and greets you with a warm hug.

“I can’t believe you are here!” she says as she pulls away from the hug.

“My brother took me with him.”

Her eyes immediately searched for your brother and it made you smirk, “Where? Where’s your handsome brother?”

You snorted and playfully pushed her shoulder lightly. “Can you at least pretend that you’re not a simp for him?” she clings her arm as she laugh.

“How can I not drool over Lee Heeseung? He’s like super hot.” she gave this dreamy expression that made you roll your eyes.

“Then that explains why I saw Jay with that girl a while ago.” she mumbles and even side eyed you to check your reaction.

Your looked at her, “What? What girl? Where?” you asked him multiple questions that made her chuckle. She knew your long time crush with your brother’s bestfriend so she finds you cute.

“Back in the kitchen. They’re like almost eating each other’s faces— hey where are you going?” she furrowed her brows as you didn’t even let her finish and went to go look for Jay.

Since the whole house is crowded, it wasn’t that easy to find the kitchen, pretty much Jay. Arriving to what it seems to be the dining area, your eyes scanned the whole room to see him. Several eyes settles on you, but you completely ignore them.

Your step halted at the sight of Jay smirking flirtatiously towards to a girl, take note that its not the same one from a while ago after your arrival. They seem too hooked to what they were talking about while the girl runs her hand over his biceps. Jay’s large hands rests comfortably at her waist, thumb caressing them.

It suddenly reminded you of the incident a while ago where he held you by the waist. It made butterflies go crazy in your stomach and at the same time stab a knife straight to your heart.

How come one person is capable to make you feel so many emotions at the same time? At this point, you find it amusing how much he affects you.

The scene seeing him holding her like that was painful for you, but as he leans in and locks their lips together like hungry horny teens made your heart crack. This isn’t the very first time you saw someone make outs. This isn’t new to you at all. What’s new is that Park Jongseong, your brother’s bestfriend a.k.a your long time crush is kissing some other girl in front of you.

Your night was a blur after that. You left the kitchen even before someone notice you watching them eat each other’s faces and thought of you as a creep or something. After an hour or two, your brother came searching for you and saw you by the balcony.

“Hey,” he greets and examined you with his eyes. His hand reaches over your face and brush away some hairs from it, hanging strands over your ears. “let’s go home. It's pretty late.” he suggested that you agreed on right away. A lot happened and you don’t exactly know what to say or react.

“Hey, you okay?” he asks halting you from stepping further.

You glanced at his worried eyes and realized you’ve been very obvious with your emotions. A smile makes it over your lips as you slid your arms over his.

“I’m fine.” but it wasn’t true. You just witnessed the man you like kissing somebody else how can you be okay?

His stares remained, not totally convinced about your lie. “I’m just tired, oppa.” you added.

Good thing he seemed to buy that excuse and let it slip before he guides you outside so you two can go home. He held your arm so he won’t lose you in this pool of drunk people.

“Wait, where’s Jay oppa? How about him?” you asks trying to roam your eyes around to go find him.

He opened his car and snickers a laugh, “Don’t worry about him. I’m sure he won’t be going home to us tonight.” and your mind was blank as you went inside and sat over the passenger seat.

You didn’t even realized that he went inside and started driving already. First time trying to get a taste of Jay’s life. Hearing about his reputation of being a campus playboy is one story, then seeing it first hand is a different one.

“What else?” your brother asks while lazily pushing the grocery cart, following behind you.

“We need to go to the meat section.” and your eyes scanned the paper to see more of what you need.

“Okay, you and Jay stay here while I go get the meat.” your brother suddenly announced that made you stunned to your position.

You freezed right at the spot and took a quick glance at Jay who took the hold over the cart. When he was about to look at you, you turned your head back at the shelves and try to busy yourself with these canned goods.

You gulped when you felt him push the cart closer.

“So how was the party the other day?” he asked curiously.

It has been a week ever since the first party you’ve been with them and also the first time you’ve witnessed how heck of a playboy he is. The second party happened the other day, you went with them hoping you can have more interaction with Jay. Interesting thing is Jay got a new girl that party, the last one were nowhere near him.

You cleared your throat and glanced at his direction. He was leaning over the cart, watching you with his dangerous eyes. A smirk plays his lips when you met his gaze.

“It w-was fine.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

‘No.’ you want to tell him, but you sighed and put the canned over the car.

“Yeah, its cool.” it was half true, half lie.

“Hmm,” he hummed and pushed the cart closer. “I saw a lot of guys enjoyed it too while trying to catch your attention.” his tone sounded a bit pissed, followed it with a scoff.

You furrowed your brows at what he said, not getting it completely. “What do you mean?”

Even if you can feel your insides going crazy, you tried maintaining an eye contact. He slowly stood straight, your height difference becoming more evident. He’s now staring down at you, eyes looking arrogant and sexy, his smirk not been wiped off his face.

“Oh, baby...” he whispers and one hand reaches over your face. He touched your cheeks gently. “...boys around you go crazy for your attention and yet they can’t get it. I wonder where it is.” his tone is taunting this time.

You pursed your lips and didn’t look away, cheeks blushing, heart racing your smiled at him.

“Yeah, I wonder where it is?” you taunt him back that made his smirk grew wider.

The eye contact last for a bit more until you saw your brother from the corner. You moved your face away and started walking over. You heard them both talk for a while before following behind you.

The next day, there’s another party. Of course you wanted to go and this time you are determined to go approach Jay. Looking on the mirror, your reflection shows off your pretty features you put yourself into determination that the night will not without you and Jay having the moment you’ve been looking forward to.

“Same rules, baby sis. No drinks from a stranger, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs and go find me if something happened.” Heeseung repeats this like a chant. You rolled your eyes and nodded to end it.

Jay stood close to the two of you, smirking tauntly. “You can also look for me if there’s a problem, baby.”

The sudden endearment made your heart race, but to your brother it was nothing. He calls you baby sis all the time so he thought it wasn’t a big of a deal. Besides, its Jay.

“Yeah, go for Jay if he’s not busy eating some girl's face.” he snorted and Jay was quick to swat his arm with a smirk on his face.

You shake your head and walked pass them both. They followed right after, greeting friends and acquaintances along the way. The party was wild wild as you arrive, its like they’ve started ahead of you so there’s couple of people stumbling down already.

You have a plan tonight, but seems like the boys that find you interesting has the same thought. Your brother managed to give you drinks and you only get refills from one of his friends, Jake. He’s a nice popular guy, very handsome, rich and have this golden retriever vibe around him. Anyway, while you’re nearly finish your fifth cup you are drunk.

Thinking you might need some confidence that the boost will definitely provide, you thought that you should drink more. You miscalculated and eventually got a little too drunk from how you planned to.

You started looking for Jay to execute your plan. Hopefully he’s nowhere near your brother so there won’t be a problem. When you arrive by the last room of the house, you're about to make a u-turn and try looking around again when you heard faint noises from that room.

“Jay.” a faint sound, which appeared like moans of a girl continuously caught your attention.

Your body freezes and steps halted from the initial plan of leaving this hallway. Its a little isolate than the other parts of the house since the music is faint here, you can’t really enjoy dancing or anything if you stay here. Mostly, this could be an ideal place for people who wants to do something else.

Slowly, you walked towards the room and pushed the door lightly. And you almost lost it. There he is. Top of and above him was this topless girl. They’re too immersed with each other that they didn’t even notice your presence. They continued making out, roaming their hands over to their bodies like their life depends on it.

You are dizzy, very drunk and emotions are all of over the place. There is no way you can deal with this situation right now. You couldn’t believe the suffocating feeling you have right now as you try to walk away from that awful place. Memories of Jay having a topless girl above him not leaving your mind at all.

Stumbling over your own feet, one guy caught you. He’s smirking and finding you cute while you mumble an incoherent word, probably ‘sorry’ or something.

Seeing his face you realized its someone from your rival school. As far as you remember, he’s the captain of the football team, if not then basketball, of their campus. Popular guy.

“Sorry 'bout that,” you chuckles despite the tears rolling down and was about to walk away when he hold you firm close to him. He seems also too lost with the liquor that he couldn't contain his actions.

“Lee y/n,” he started with this smirk. “I've been trying to score a date with you, but you’re very snob. Why? Why will you reject..” he stalls and gulped, “..someone like me?” he continues.

You couldn’t process anything and starting to feel annoyed that he’s delaying you when you want to leave this place immediately. His hold tightens at the unpleasant expression over your face. Its like he can’t accept that you will reject him when every other girls drop to their knees for him.

“Let go of me!" you tried wriggling to get away from his grip, but he was too strong.

He started to be more aggressive towards you, “No! Let’s talk! Why do you look at me with blank face every time you reject me? Why do I seem too worthless for you?” he screams, and it startled you.

You sighed and was about to say something when somebody threw a punch over to this guy. He lets go of you and was down over the floor.

“You okay? What did he do?” your brother’s face came into your view. He’s the one who came rushing and punched that guy away from you.

The party stopped and a lot of people gathers around. The drunk guy was still down the floor, but his friends are in panic and called the police for assistance.

You are still dizzy and out of it, but you are worried for your brother. He’s clearly involve and you are the reason of it. As the police arrive, he asked him to stay for a couple of things he wants to ask him.

He nodded, not really trying to make it more complicated. He turns his head over you with soft gaze and cup your face.

“I’ll call Mom to pick you—”

“I can take her home.” a voice interrupts and your brother’s face reflects relief after hearing his voice.

“Great. Please take care of her, dude. I need to settle things here, ask for Dad as well.” he continues, but you are too drunk to even say or process anything.

Jay took off his jacket and put it over your shoulder, gently tugs you closer to him then guides you towards where he parked his car. A lot of commotion are happening, but the alcohol in you took away any possible consciousness of you to be aware of it.

The next thing you know, he’s already driving and you groaned because of the terrible headaches occuring due to being dizzy. He glanced at you and sighs before stopping by the side where he saw this one vending machine. He knew he needed to give you some water to help with the bad effects of alcohol.

“Angel,” he calls softly after opening the passenger seat and leaning down to your face level. You slowly opens your eyes and greeted by his handsome face. “Can you walk?” he asks after, brushing away some hairstrands.

You inhaled, “I'm n-not sure.” you admits.

He smiles a little, chuckled sexily before nodding gently. “Okay. I got you.”

As he busy himself taking off your seatbelts, you got the chance to look and observe him. He’s wearing a black shirt that shows his fit body, not too tight but also not too big for him, just the perfect size. A gold necklace dangling freely was the next you notice, adding to his appeal. His perfectly arched jaw clenched as he put his attention over you.

“I’ll carry you. Is that all right, baby?" his tone sounded soft. Too soft that it came out subtle.

You nodded and he quickly slid one arm under your legs, the other over your back to carry you in a bridal style. In normal days, you would’ve panicked and blush like crazy, but the liqour is shitting you and the constant memories of a naked girl hovering him kept flashing back through your mind like a broken dvd.

“Stay put. I’ll just get you water to make you feel better.” he says and you followed him while sitting down at a bench where he put you.

You silently watch him and see him glow through the lights of the vending machine as he hangs his head low to go get the water. He walks closer and handed you the bottle after opening it for you.

A low thank you escapes your mouth and drinks from it while eyes still darted at him. He smiles and crouched down in front of you, just so he can get a full and better view of your face. To make sure you are okay.

“Better?”

You nods even if you don’t know if it really did something. Now, you aren’t sure if you its because of the alcohol or you really just gains the confident, but you frowned at him.

“Aren’t your girl upset you left her?”

Jay’s brows furrowed. He looked confused.

“What girl?”

“The one naked hovering above you a while ago.” you said straightly.

He looks taken aback then lips pursed trying to suppress a smirk to form from his sinful lips. “That’s not something you should have seen. I’m sorry, baby.” he didn’t sound ashamed or what, who would be? He’s probably proud of his own body so you seeing him topless and naked girl topping him was no problem.

“Next time—” he reaches out his hand to brush away some of your hair, but you swat his hand.

“Stop that.” he tilts his head, confused.

“Stop treating me like a kid. I’m not a kid anymore. I know what you’re about to do with that girl, I know that you will have sex with her!” you continuously said.

Jay didn’t seem fazed about your words nor mad about it. He sighs calmly and stared down at your water. “You’re drunk. Have some more water—”

“I d-don’t want to.” your eyes started to water and you sniffed, Jay’s eyes soften heart completely broken at the sight.

“Baby, why—”

“Don’t call me that!” you burst out, upset. “My brother always calls me that and I feel like you’re doing that because you treat me like your little sister.”

He licked his lips, “Isn’t that a good thing?”

“No! I’m not your little sister and I will never be!” you sounded so upset and a tear left your eye.

Jay sighs, staring at you with soft gaze. “I know.” he gently wiped off the tears over your cheeks. “I know that fucking well, angel.” his tone low.

It was silent for a while before he sighs and stood up.

“Let's go, I’ll drive you home.” he announced and your heart sank.

This is the first intense conversation you ever had with Jay and with the alcohol still in your system, you know you can’t just be stopped.

“I like you.” you said without faltering or stuttering.

Jay’s eyes remains at you, his future actions of carrying you halted because of your sudden confession. Something flickered through his eyes, but it was too quick for you to catchh on.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” you asked when he started carrying you back to his car, silent.

He placed you gently and put your seatbelt on to make sure you are safe. His eyes dangerously darted at you that sends thousands of volts over you. The way he looks at you was different. You couldn’t explain and you don’t know what exactly it was, but something changed.

“I know.” he whispered that caught you off-guard.

“Y-You know?”

“Yes.” he lowered his head and he raised his head up with this evil sexy grin like as if he just confirmed something that made him so happy.

Your heart tightens for unknown reasons.

“Do you think I really wouldn’t have any idea?”

“Then are you purposely doing these things to make me like you even more?” you sounded accusing and pissed.

You just confessed and heard the most unexpected response from the guy you like for years now, who wouldn’t be pissed off?

“What do you mean?” one of his large hands rests over the front side of the cars as he tilts his head, staring at you.

“Like you purposely want me to like you even more!” it was ridiculous, okay. You’ve liked Jay for a long time and honestly even the smallest thing he does fascinates you. You are just a bit disappointed, embarrassed and drunk at this point.

“No,” he says and stood back straight.

“You have no idea how much I hold back, angel.” he says that made you silent for the whole ride home.

He calls your dad and informed about what happened to your brother. As you arrived home, your Mom and Dad were gone. They left to go to your brother and they’re not worried that you will be alone because Jay was there.

“I like you.” you repeats it like as if you didn’t just confessed a while ago.

Jay just opened the passenger seat to help you get inside the house. He furrowed his brows a bit, before smirking.

“You already said that baby.”

“Date me. Let's date.”

For the first time tonight, you saw Jay surprised. He was caught off guard at how bold and bravely you utter those words towards him.

He hides his shock with a chuckle, “I don’t do dates and relationships, Y/n.” his tone firm and he unclasped your seatbelt before looking down at you once again. “Specially if they’re younger and my bestfriend’s sibling.”

Those words went straight to your heart. He was bad. Bad for hurting you, bad for playing at girl’s heart, bad for being this seductive and not caring at all. He’s overall bad news behind these good looking face.

He was about to help you, but you reject him. Lowering your head, you gently pushed him off so you can walk. His hand reaches for you as you stumble on your own feet.

“I can do it! Don’t touch me!” you started waddling towards the house and Jay behind you, making sure you won’t trip and hurt yourself.

That night, you cried yourself to sleep with a small crack on your heart and a throbbing headache.

Days after, you and Jay were totally ignoring each other. It was honestly just you avoiding him. There’s instances that he wanted to talk or start a conversation which you decline quickly. Normally, after a cold and straight rejection you’re suppose to accept then try to move on from it.

But no. You are completely aware that Jay is bad for you. He clearly told you he don’t do dates or relationships, he said he won’t date someone younger and specially his bestfriend’s sibling, and he’s your potential heart breaker. Total bad news. Despite all that, you still want him. You still want to go after him and take another shot. What doesn’t kill you, makes you want him more.

You made another plan. Now you know that the previous approach didn’t work so you needed a new one. You figured that you should take advantage and use that one emotion that flickered through his eyes. That subtle jealousy you saw through his face when your brother talked about how that boy held you close to him. Sounds petty, but still its a plan.

“Well well well,” your head snaps towards the living room when you heard your brother talked.

“Hi,” you greeted innocently, barely sparing Jay a glance as you approach to your brother to give him a kiss on his cheeks.

They planned to stay in today, just watch movies and video games when you suddenly walks downstairs looking so good.

“Where are you going, baby sis?” Heeseung asked curiously, but it seems like he isn’t the only one curious because at the corner of your eyes, you can see Jay looking intensely at you.

“On a date.” you answered then smiled cutely. Heeseung’s brow raised at what you said.

“A date? With who?” he tilts his head, impatient to hear the boy's name that will go out with his baby sister.

“With (random name),” you stated. He’s one of your friends from school and yesterday he asked if you wanted to go watch this cool movie. You agreed and thought that you can use that plan to push Jay into his limits. Actually, you don’t have any idea what to expect from here.

“Where are you guys going?”

You chuckle at your brother’s cute question. “Oppa, you sounded like a strict teacher.” you kid and even before he can say something, a honk can be heard from outside your house.

All of your heads snapped over it and you glanced towards them to bid good bye. Heeseung quickly stood up and follows behind you. He knew he can’t prevent you from going on dates or dating someone, but he can surely mess with them.

“Hi,” (random name) greets you with bright smile, very excited. He leans and gave you a kiss on your cheeks as a greeting. It didn’t slip off from the two pair of hawk like eyes by the door.

His smile slightly fell seeing the two tall guys watching over. He bowed, showing respect to your brother.

“Make sure she gets home before dark.” your brother reminds.

What made you smirk is that pissed off look over Jay’s face. You waved at them and then went off without even glancing back. The date went great, you enjoyed it but your mind couldn’t stop thinking of Jay. Its not like (random name) is your boyfriend now. You're clear at him that this will be a friendly date and he has no problems with it at all.

The next few days became a cycle of going out with your friends and with (random name). You have no idea what’s the process so far, but you plan to test it tonight. There’s a party again at one of your brother’s friend. He asks you if you will come along with them.

“Yes, my friends will be there.” you announced.

“Including (random name)?”

“Yup.”

Jay didn’t like it at all. He don’t know what's up with him. He’s not the type of person who gets jealous easily so he has no idea why he’s so pissed off while seeing you spend time with that dude. He tries to ignore it, convince himself that its totally okay and that he's just protective of you because he genuinely cares. If Hee’s cool with it, he should too right?

But that’s not the case. Tonight, you are pushing his buttons. He watch how you danced too closely with that boy. His hands roaming all over your body that made him clench his jaw angrily. He was silently watching the two of you by the corner taking sips from his drink. Your brother were nowhere to be found and he's been here, watching over you. He didn’t actually asked him to, he does it voluntarily.

He kept muttering in his mind that its okay to be touchy with each other. He’s not new to these things, he’s been 18 before and he knew how it is during this time. He convinced himself that its fine and that he should just leave you alone.

But why did he just find himself settling his drink at the table before heading towards you. He just saw you inch your face closer, lips too close to (random name)'s and he was certain if he didn’t just stepped in you already kissed.

Surprised, he managed to pull you away from him. You glanced at him a little annoyed because of his intrusion.

“What are you doing?”

(random name) looked as confused as you.

“Your brother is looking for you.” Jay lied and didn't even wait for you to react or object. He started dragging you outside of that house.

Realizing you two were headed to where his car was parked you stopped walking making him glanced at you.

“What are you doing? Where is my brother?” you asked furrowed brows and trying to roam your eyes around to go look for your brother, but he’s not here.

Your head snapped back at Jay, “Did you just lie?” you accused him and base on how he’s not denying you, it was true. He lied about your brother looking for you and he doesn’t seem to be fazed about it at all.

“I can't believe you!” you exclaimed, “I’m going back inside.” you announced and turned your heels only to he held back by him again.

“No you’re not.”

“You don’t get to say that!"

“Why do you even want to go back? Is it because of that loser? And what were you doing huh? Are you really going to kiss him?” he lets out sounding so frustrated.

You were caught off-guard of this behavior of his. This is unusual of him. He’s usually very preserved and oozing with confidence. You smile at the back of your mind, thinking that you’re finally getting the reaction you want from him.

You crossed your arm over him.

“Yes and so?”

His eyes grew dark at your response, “What are you doing? What are you up to?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you really dating that boy?” the way he say the word boy was slightly insulting. He’s just years older, but he say it like the two of them are years apart.

“So what?”

“Don’t date him.” he stated.

You raised your eyebrow at him. “Why not?”

He gulped, but his arrogant eyes remain.

“Who do you suggest I date?” you took a step closer to him. “Who should I date, Jay?”

He clenched his jaw and he looked so sexy. When he didn't answer, you rolled your eyes and walked. You plan to go back inside, but once again he stopped you.

His hand hold your wrist. Your eyes dropped over it and his thumb caress your skin gently. You gulped, totally affected by his soft touch.

“Don’t go back inside.” his tone softer too this time. Your eyes trailed over to his and his eyes looked arrogant, but gentle.

“Let’s talk, please?”

Your heart races at the way his tone sounded so convincing. You are not drunk, but it makes you dizzy. You pouted and nodded your head. A small smile escapes his lips before guiding you towards his car. He unlocks it and made you go inside.

“Wait for me here. I’ll just talk to your brother.”

He left after closing the door then went back inside to find his best friend. A couple of people greets him and some girls even tries to flirt, but he’s not interested. After seeing your brother enjoying his night with the same girl he’s been eyeing for weeks now, Jay approached him right away.

“Hey, y/n doesn't feel good.” he lies that made the smile over Heeseung’s face disappear.

“What? Where is she?” his eyes roams, searching for her worriedly.

“I took her to my car. Don’t worry, I’ll drive her home.”

Relief rains over his expression and nodded his head. “I'll see her off first.” and he leans over his girl and whispered something before he accompanied Jay back to his cat where you sat silently.

Your brother knocked over the window and you rolled them down right away, seeing him. Your heart races in confusion to what Jay said.

“Are you okay? Jay said you don’t feel well.” he says and reached his hand to cup your face.

Your eyes darted at Jay and he’s just looking at you straight in the eyes. He’s not telling you to lie, his eyes silently plea that he truly longs for you. And that he don’t care whether you tell your brother the truth or not, either way he will take you away from here.

“Y-Yes. I’m just tired and dizzy, oppa. I think I drank too much.” you felt a small hint of guilt for lying, but you want this as well. You want to talk to Jay and hear what he wants to say. You want him to take you away from here and be with him alone.

“Okay, Jay will take you home and drink water when you arrive.”

You gave a small smile and nodded silently. He sighs and gave your forehead a kiss before telling Jay to drive safely. He nods too and swiftly go to the passenger seat of his car.

“You are such a liar.” you taunt at him while he put his seatbelts on.

He smirks, a little confident your brother won’t see it because his car is heavily tinted.

“Well that's what bad boys do, don’t they?”

Heeseung waits until the car has driven away completely. The drive was silent. You don’t know what to say and you thought you will talk, but he’s not saying anything. Not too far away from home, he slows down his car that made you glance at him confusely.

“Let’s talk here.” he said and you gave him a nod before gulping, heart thumping in anticipation.

He stares right at you for a while before sighing. He reaches over your hand and plays through the fingers, enjoying how warm and soft it feels.

“Date me.” you hitched your breath when you heard that from him.

You wanted to blame the alcohol for a second, asking yourself if you really are not drunk. He might read through your expression so he lifts your hand and kissed the back of it once.

“Date me, y/n. I can’t promise that I will be all good, but I will try.” he repeats. This time, you are sure this isn’t the alcohol.

Park Jongseong really asked you out.

“Please?”

You pursed your lips and a smile made its way on your face. You unclasped your seatbelt and didn’t even bother to hide the excitement and happiness on your expression.

“Of course I will date you!” you cheered and quickly hugged him.

His hand settled over your waist as he smiled, nuzzling at the crook of your neck inhaling your scent. Jay’s heart was beating so fast that it finds it uncomfy. This is the very first time a girl made him feel this way. Its odd, but in a very good way.

You pull away and stared at his handsome face. His eyes hooded and as his eyes trailed down your lips.

“Can I kiss you, angel?” he asked huskily.

You hitched your breath and ears ringed, its like everything out were blocked outside from your world. You don’t care about anything or anyone but the gorgeous guy in front of you.

“Yes.” and he didn’t waste any second. He leans in, pulls you even closer as he gets to taste of your sweet lips for the first time.

“I'm bad, right baby?" he whispers as he plays through my fingers, staring dangerously at you. He let his sinful tongue graze slightly over his lips, before starting to gently pull you closer.

A playful, evil, seductive smirk appears through his handsome face, “And I think I’m becoming worst because I still want you. I want you all for myself.” and he once again leaned towards you for another heated kiss.

He knew then and there that he found something he’s about to lost his mind to and he was all in.

It was the start of your hidden and thrilling relationship with Jay. You two figured your brother won’t react well about it so you both agreed that its better to keep it from him until you felt like its the right time to tell.

At first, it started with just sneaky skinships and stolen glances between each other during meals or movie times. Then the subtle hand touching around his brother escalates into making out secretly inside the bathrooms or his car. He sneaks inside your room as well whenever he has a chance. It was thrilling and the fear of getting caught by your parents or worst, by your brother makes it more intense.

The sounds of your lips kissing and tongue touching softly filled the room. It was night time and everybody else in the house were fast asleep. You are straddling his lap, both of his hands inside your shirt cupping your breasts. You let out a soft whimper when his kisses moved from your lips, to your jaw and down to your neck, sucking on its skin.

You’re both drunk by each other’s touch when a knock pulled you out of trance. With heart beating fast your head craned at the direction of his door. Thankfully Jay didn’t forget to lock his door.

“Dude?” it was your brother.

You panicked and so does Jay. He quickly guided you towards the bathroom and you furrowed your brows. You are about to ask more but he just pulled a towel from the rack, wrapped it over his waist. He took of his top and wet his hair before asking you to stay quiet.

“Stay here, baby.” and he even pecks your already swollen lips.

He walks out and pretends he just got out from shower. You covered your lips and tried hard to hold your laugh because of how messy you two got yourselves into.

“I'll be downstairs once you’re ready to go.” your brother says.

Seems like they will go out in the middle of the night.

“All right.”

“I think y/n is knocked out already. She isn’t answering her door.”

“Probably. Its late anyway.”

“Yeah. Hurry up, dude.” and finally, your brother left the scene.

After making sure he’s not there anymore, you went out with the biggest smile and jumped towards your boyfriend.

“Going out?”

“Yes.” he lets out a strained sigh before letting both of your bodies fall over his bed, yours above his.

“I don't want to go.” he mumbled, face buried over your neck. You smirked enjoying his clingyness.

“You have to, or he’ll start to be suspicious.” you pecked his lips. “See you tomorrow. No girls for you.” you gave him this warning look.

He smirks, “Tomorrow? I’ll see you tonight, angel. I’ll sleep beside you.”

You pursed your lips, blushing at the thought of it. It has been like that for weeks already ever since you two started dating.

“Okay, I'll leave my window open.”

“I’m here.” you smile and put your head outside your window to go check if Jay’s right outside of your house.

Past midnight, he's standing by the side and waving at you. His car parked not too far from your house, headlights off.

Its been almost week ever since he told your parents that he will stay at their mansion for a week because his parents asked him to at least go sleep their for a while. And every night of those days, you two will sneak out to go on night drives, dates around his house, late night swimming by the lake, and other fun things you could ever think off.

You slowly tiptoed and went out from the quiet, dark garden of your house. Jay smiles widely as he reaches for your hand and you both bolts towards his car. He drove away, planning to once again take you by the lake.

He sets up this mat and brings out some snacks incase you felt hungry. You chuckle finding him cute and hugged him.

“I wish this summer never ends.” you mumbled, lips close to his. He smirks, wrapping his arm tighter over your waist.

“Its fine,” he says and grazed a soft quick kiss at your lips. “I will always come back next summer.” he assures you that made you smile.

You just can’t explain how happy your are right now. The emotions you have for him are too much but in a good way. You really mean it when you said you hoped this summer lasts long. This isn’t how you expected it to be, it was even better. Or so you thought.

After spending a couple of hours together by the lake, talking about random things, making out, more talking and more makeouts, he needs to take you home. He parks not too far away again and turned off his headlight.

He turns and faced you with a pout that made you chuckle. You cupped his face and shower his face with kisses.

“I’ll see you again tomorrow.” you assured him and he leaned in chasing your lips for some proper kisses.

“All right, pretty. Let me walk you home.”

And you two walks along the silent street hand in hand, giggling from time to time.

“Isn’t it too late for you to be outside, y/n?”

Both of you jumped when someone talked. Your eyes instantly caught your brother leaning by his car, parked right outside of your house. His face serious, eyes dark and jaw clenching. Your heart thumped at the sight of him. Jay caress your hand, trying to calm you as he stand close to you.

“O-Oppa.” you calls him out, like you couldn’t believe he’s right there.

His strict and intimidating eyes darted at your way. “Get inside, y/n.” he clicked his tongue at the side of his cheeks.

“B-But—”

“Don't make me repeat myself.” he cuts you off. “Inside. Now.”

Your brother rarely gets mad at you and you’re always scared whenever he is. Not because he will hurt you or anything, but because your brother is very intimidating when he’s like this. And also, you are scared of what he will do with Jay.

Your eyes glanced at Jay and he’s not even scared at all. He smiles and touched your cheeks once, “Go ahead, baby. I’ll talk to your brother.”

In the end you are left with no choice but to leave them both. Feets heavily stepping inside the house, silently praying that nothing bad will happen between them. Mixed guilt and worry dawned upon you. This isn’t what you wanted. You knew you are somehow at fault. You should’ve just let your brother know right away, but you stalled and now he found out even before you can inform him yourself. He must’ve felt so betrayed.

You didn’t sleep properly that night, unaware of what happened between the two guys. Hurriedly, you went downstairs to check and your eyes furrowed when you saw your Mom sadly hugging Jay. Your brother standing from a distant, watching. When he caught you, he rolled his eyes.

“Its sad that you have to cut your trip short. Are you sure everything’s all right?” your Mom asked that made you stunned at your position.

Confused, you slowly went closer. Your Mom looked at you and based on her expression, she has no idea of what happened last night. Your head snapped at the two guys, wondering what happened last night.

“Y/n! Just in time,” she says and pulls you closer. “See Jay out since you’re the last one to go down. He needs to go now since something urgent came up.”

Your heart sank at the news and you didn’t believed any of it. You knew it has something to do with your brother finding out about you two sneaking out. Even before you can say something, your brother interrupts.

“Let’s go see him out, y/n.” his voice stone cold and Jay teared his eyes away from you unwillingly before bidding goodbyes to your Mom.

He walks outside and your brother follows along with you.

“What did you say to him, oppa? Did you ask him to leave?” your tone already accusing him.

“Its his decision.” he answered shortly, and it made your heart ache.

“Are you mad at me because I like your best friend?”

His jaw clenched as he stare at your teary eyes. He slowly raised his hand and wiped them off gently.

“No,” he said. “I'm mad because you kept it from me.”

He didn’t talk after that and let you approach Jay by his car. His eyes looked so sad and guilty. You don’t know what to say, because you know you’ll burst out of tears any minute now.

“W-Why...” you can’t continue.

He smiled softly and roam his eyes all over your face, like as if memorizing every features.

“I need to go.” he starts. “I’m sorry, angel.” he sighed heavily.

“I shouldn’t have sneaked you out, I should’ve known better. I’m bad for you. I’m bad news.” you shake your head.

“N-No...” you reach over him, “I love you.” you confessed that caught him off-guard. He smiles sadly, his eyes shining due to tears forming by his eyes.

Last night, Heeseung told Jay that right now he doesn’t trust him for you. He knew how he is with girls and as your older brother, he couldn’t just trust him. You are precious to him and he value you so much. No man can deserve you right away, even his own best friend. He told Jay that if he really cares for you he will go and try to reflect to himself.

Your brother is afraid that maybe he’s just overwhelmed with the thrill and idea. He asked him to go away, try to think and settle his own feelings. He’s pissed that he kept on sneaking you out betraying him completely. He wants Jay to be sure first before he continues to pursue you again. He won’t let him have his way easily. Even if it means you will hate him for sending him away.

He didn’t say anything and approached closer. He whispers continuous sorry before he kissed your forehead, a single tear fell from his eyes. He moved away and turned his back right at you. He didn't glanced back, afraid that he will change his mind and just stay.

You cried silently, accepting and respecting his decision. Your heart aches so much you rest your hand above it. Jay’s car started to drove away and left, your heart left with him.

It is such a cruel summer and as always, Park Jongseong is the highlight of it.

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rookthorne · 10 months

Text

⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐟

Stress relief came in many forms, and for Bucky? You knew just how to maximise the relief and get his mind entirely off the troubles of his racing career, you just needed to carry out your plan — subtly, of course.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 ❯❯❯ Street Racer!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 ❯❯❯ 1.9k

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 ❯❯❯ Fluff ჻჻჻ SMUT: Fingering (F receiving), unprotected piv, multiple orgasms, car sex, public, clothed sex, so much dirty talk ჻჻჻ KINKS: Praise, degradation, begging

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 ❯❯❯ Look, I do not understand where this came from, but wow — I will be recovering from this one too. I wish you luck.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 ❯❯❯ I Feel Like I'm Drowning by Two Feet

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 ❯❯❯ @buckybarnesevents Hot Bucky Summer ჻჻჻ Week 4 — 'C' Week (Car Sex) — Masterlist

𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐥𝐲𝐧 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

The night’s sky flew past while the whine of the engine echoed off the barriers of the winding road. It never got old, sitting in the passenger seat while Bucky zipped and pushed the limits of gravity and what was sane – but for a good cause, this time.

Date night was upon you, and ever the adrenaline junkie, you had asked Bucky to take you up to the lookout. The weather was perfect – clear skies gave the perfect opportunity to view the stars and shining moon, and not to mention, with the time of night, there would likely be no one around.

It was perfect for your plan.

The gear change made the engine roar, and you laughed as Bucky threw the Skyline into the turn – back end kicking out and spreading stones and rubber over the shoulder.

“We should do date night more often, baby,” Bucky chuckled, booting the accelerator and pumping the clutch. “Only time I see you so excited is when I’m fucking you.”

“Bucky!” You shrieked, staring at him, mouth agape – but he had a point, you just couldn’t let him know that. “That’s not true!”

The look he gave you, clear and calculating as he upshifted on a straight, made you squirm. “I know you’re lying, sweetheart.”

You narrowed your eyes and pouted at him, but he just shook his head, downshifting for another turn, when the lookout came into view. The sun had long since set, but the glow of the city was bright like a second sun over the horizon, visible even from the steep hill that the Skyline climbed.

“I can’t wait,” you rushed, glancing back into the back seat where a couple of blankets and containers filled with food sat belted in place. “This is going to be so nice, just us two–nothing to bother us.”

“Tell me ‘bout it,” Bucky hummed, turning the Skyline into the empty parking lot, right into the best spot. From your vantage point, the view of the city was wide and beautiful, all the twinkling lights winking at you from afar. “Fuck I’ve missed this. It’s just nice to get away from everything.”

Frowning slightly, you looked at Bucky closely as he killed the ignition. It had been a rough few weeks with the police cracking down on every meet planned, and when a meet did kick off, it was full of arrogant bastards that wore down his already short temper faster than a lit fuse. At your suggestion of a date night, Bucky had jumped on it – though he didn’t know the entire reason.

With tension, you found, Bucky was pent up beyond belief. Fucking that anger and frustration out had been the one release he’s had and exploited, and you weren’t going to lie, it had been amazing. But, tonight, you wanted to be sweet – soft, at least, to begin with.

What Bucky would do once he learnt of your motives… You’d let it unfold, you would win either way – wearing a dress had many pros.

“Alright,” you sighed happily, unbuckling the harness and turning in your seat. “What do you wanna start with, babe?”

Bucky shifted in his seat to face you, his expression thoughtful as he dumped his phone into the glovebox. “I dunno,” he mumbled, looking into the back seat. “What do you want?”

Your dick, you thought hastily – the thought, while not entirely untrue, blurting that out would cause a cascading effect, and you were hungry. Food first, dick later, you decided. “Crackers and cheese?”

The containers fit perfectly between the two of you, and you began to eat while happily chatting, catching one another up on the mundane and inconsequential events in one another’s lives – your workmate’s dating horror story, the projects you’d undertaken. Bucky talked about the events of Steve’s work and tuning his Dodge (not that it made a lick of sense), and the way that Sam had lost his shit at an officer and ended up in a pursuit, and somehow getting away.

From crackers and cheese, you moved onto cakes and chocolate – feeding one another the new flavours you had found in an artisan bakery and remarking on how delicious they were.

Music continued to play from the stereo to fill the stretches of silence between words as you ate, and once you had eaten your fill, you slumped in your seat and stared at Bucky, smiling softly.

“What?” Bucky asked, brow raised as he ran a hand through his hair to tuck it behind his ear. “What’s going through that pretty head of yours, baby?”

“Nothing,” you sighed happily, watching as Bucky packed up the containers and stretched to put them onto the backseat. “You’re just so handsome, you know?”

Bucky snorted, but a pink tinge dusted his cheeks, a bashful smile on his lips. “You tryin’ to sweet talk me?”

“Can you blame a girl?” you fired back, smirking. “I’ve got the world’s sexiest man sitting across from me, and he’s all mine.”

“My god, baby-” Bucky laughed, his nose scrunching as he shook his head. “You’re cute. Stop it.”

“No.” Biting your lip, you reached out and cupped his cheek, brushing your thumb gently along his full bottom lip, and his lips parted on instinct. “I will never stop sweet talking my man, because you deserve it, and you deserve all the good in the world–I’m trying my best to give it to you.”

Silence stretched between the two of you, the music over the speakers muting to background noise. Bucky’s stare turned from bashful to absolute shock, like he was the one floundering on what to say. “Let me show you,” you whispered.

“Okay,” Bucky replied, his voice wavering.

Carefully, you climbed over the middle console and straddled his lap, his hands resting on your hips as you pulled him into a passionate kiss that turned heated and desperate once you swiped your tongue over his lips.

Bucky groaned quietly as he opened his mouth, bidding you entry to explore – not that you needed to, you knew his body better than your own. Your hips began to rock slowly over his clothed crotch, the denim of his jeans rough on your bare thighs.

“God, baby, I wanna feel you,” he breathed, pulling away to brush his lips over your neck.

“Go ahead,” you whispered back, lifting up on your knees to unbutton and unzip his jeans. Your concentration faltered when his hand wandered to your cunt to tease your clit.

A low whistle left Bucky’s lips as he brushed a finger down to your weeping entrance. “Already so wet for me, huh? ‘S this all for me?”

“Mhm,” you murmured, finally slipping his jeans down with his help. “Been wanting you all night.”

Bucky grinned and moved one hand to grip the sides of your throat, the other moving back to tease your clit again. “In that case, baby,” he purred. “Let’s see how quick I can make you cum on my fingers first. Can’t have my girl that desperate she’s hurtin’, now, can I?”

“No,” you whimpered. Unbidden, your hips moved to ride his fingers and Bucky chuckled.

“See?” Bucky cooed, flicking your clit once, twice, and you cried out. “Your cunt just wants somethin’ fillin’ her, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah, wan’ you, Buck- Please,” you breathed, moaning when he teased your entrance. It was torture waiting this long, but he was nothing if not a tease.

“Oh, you’ll get me, sweetheart, but first,” Bucky purred, pulling your face closer. “First you’ll fuck my fingers.”

Your moans and whimpers echoed in the cabin of his Skyline as he worked his fingers in and out of your cunt, curling them against your walls while his thumb rubbed tight circles on your clit. “God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty like this, just a whore who wants to be fucked and filled, aren’t you?”

“Ah–Ah! Ye-” A hiccuped moan interrupted your answer. “Yeah, please, wanna cum- Need your cock!”

“Need you to cum for me first, baby,” Bucky cooed, his fingers moving faster. “You’re squeezin’ me–know you’re close, c’mon.”

It spread slowly, the all encompassing pleasure of a blinding climax gripping you in its clutches. “Bucky! Fuck, put it in me! Wanna cum on your cock, pleasepleaseplease, oh god,” you rambled, groping at his shoulders.

Bucky hissed, a low, “Fuck,” before you were being moved, and his fingers left your cunt, only to be replaced by his cock. “Oh, fuck, baby–so tight, let go, need you to let go, lemme feel it.”

The pace Bucky set was brutal, each thrust up into your pulsing heat punched a moan from your lungs until your thighs started to shake. “‘M coming! Bucky!”

“That’s it, call me, sweetheart,” Bucky moaned. “Let go, now. Cum on your cock.”

Your climax washed over you, sweeping you under and you screamed into Bucky’s shoulder – unable to move through the sensations, nor did you want to, with him guiding you through and prolonging it with long, deep thrusts.

“Fuck,” you gasped once you could breathe. “Fuck me, babe–fuck me.”

“Oh, baby girl, you know not to say that shit to me,” Bucky groaned, the back of his head hitting the headrest with a dull thump. His hair was sticking to his forehead – strands falling into his eyes and curling around his ears.

“Want you to use me,” you urged, kissing down his neck and rolling your hips when his grip faltered. “Go on, fuck me.”

“Shit,” Bucky drawled, his voice breaking. “Fuck it.”

Bucky fucked up into your cunt with abandon, his hips pistoning with such ferocity your breath caught on each thrust, and you tried in earnest to meet them – even as the Skyline rocked with each movement.

“You feel so fuckin’ good, baby,” Bucky panted, and you nodded, reaching down your stomach to rub fiercely at your clit. If you came again, and fast, you knew it would tip him over the edge. “You gonna touch yourself for me, sweetheart? Like a fucking slut?”

“Yeah,” you gasped. The first touch made your stomach jolt and you cried out. “Want you to cum–fuck and fill me, Bucky, need it!”

“Know you need it, you fucking slut,” Bucky growled, his tone dangerously low. “And you’re gonna take it like the good girl you are, aren't you?”

Nodding fervently, you sped your fingers up at the first sign of the coil tightening. Bucky groaned loudly and tucked his chin to his chest, lifting his hips with more desperation than before, when you felt the first twitch of his cock deep in your heat. “Yes! Yes, fucking give it to me, babe, please,” you begged, pulling his hair.

“‘M so fuckin’ close,” Bucky whined. “Cum for me again, give me one more, sweetheart. Fuckin’ cum for me.”

The ferocity of the words hit you like a tidal wave, and you were pulled under again, only dully registering Bucky’s shout as warmth bloomed between your legs and leaked down your thighs.

“Fuckin’ hell!” Bucky moaned, his voice hoarse. Aftershocks were making your whole body tremble, and you gripped Bucky for dear life. “I’ve gotchu, baby, breathe.” You fell into his chest when he pulled you in by the waist and he tucked your head into his neck, both of you breathing heavily. “Deep breaths for me.”

You followed Bucky’s inhale and exhale, a set pattern of counting to four with each inhale and exhale, and slowly, your body calmed to a point where you could actually move, and think.

“You need stress relief more often,” you sighed, cuddling into his embrace and smiling when you felt and heard his laugh.

⠈⠂⠄ 𝐢𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐱 | 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 | 𝐚𝐨𝟑 ⠄⠂⠁

⠈⠂⠄𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ⠄⠂⠁

#bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky x f!reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes oneshot #hotbuckysummer2023 #rookthorne's works #Stress Relief

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feeder86 · 1 year

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Falling for a Feeder: Part 2: Infinity

That evening, Lucas lay there on the giant couch like a beached whale. His enormous, fleshy belly had long since slipped out of his shapeless t-shirt and was draped across the cushions; with sweat leaching from the bare skin due to the summer heat. He’d never been particularly tall, and so the prospect of being over four hundred and thirty pounds had felt like a fantasy in those early days. He’d had to learn to consume so many calories, to step back from overdoing it with the exercise. Now it was all second nature.

Getting up off the couch was an unpleasant thought. There would have to be stages to it. He’d have to use his arms to support himself and try to swing his body in the right way to keep the momentum so that it wouldn’t be too exhausting. He knew what people thought of him: that he was gross and disgusting. But he had never imagined that Talon would feel those things too: that he could ever get too fat, too greedy and lazy. Yet, he hadn’t seen Talon in days. In fact, the handsome man who had started all this wasn’t even returning his calls.

Lucas felt so alone, and yet, so desperately hungry.

Three Years Earlier

“When are we going to tell people about us?” Lucas asked, feeling content and stuffed; his head resting on Talon’s large, strapping chest. It was a question that had sat at the front of his mind for some time, given that Talon had started to talk about them getting their own place at some point in the future. “I mean, this might be a little confusing for people, you suddenly dating a guy. I’d understand if you’re not ready.”

“Do you think I’m embarrassed to be your boyfriend?” Talon asked, immediately concerned.

“No. I’m just saying…” Lucas replied, “...I would understand if you did.”

“I can’t wait to tell people about us,” Talon insisted, lifting an overfed Lucas off his chest so that he could look him in the eyes. “It’s you I’m thinking about. Have you really thought about it? Everyone suddenly knowing that we’re an item? I’ve not exactly been quiet about my… preferences,” he explained. “It’s already getting quite obvious that you’re carrying a good few extra pounds,” he noted, grabbing an actual handful of fat that had spread from Lucas’ doughy butt and onto his hips. “It’s not going to be hard for people to join the dots once they realise that we’re an item.” He sighed, as if he regretted something very deeply. “Are you really ready for that sort of judgement?”

It almost felt inappropriate to become so instantly aroused. Talon seemed so earnest and concerned for him, yet Lucas had made his peace with it all quite some time ago. He now looked forward to people passing comment on his weight, knowing how excited it would make the two of them afterwards. “You really think it’s obvious to people that I’m getting fat?” he asked with a broad smile.

Talon smiled too, seeming to relax. “Maybe…” he teased, moving his hand up to stroke the puffy fatness at Lucas’ side; fat that would soon fold the skin enough to become full-on love handles.

“You’re right. Once we tell people that we’re together, they’re going to know exactly why I’ve put on so much weight; that I’ve been fattened up. I’m going to be under more scrutiny than ever.”

Talon simply looked up at him sympathetically, making an excellent job of containing his excitement for the idea of everyone seeing all the hard work he had put into ensuring that Lucas continued to pile on the pounds.

“I want to be your fatty,” Lucas stated with lustful certainty. “I’m ready for everyone to know,” he nodded. “I’m so excited for them all to watch me growing fatter and softer for you every single day.”

“Oh yeah?” Talon smirked, raising his eyebrows and getting very much aroused himself, as Lucas lay on top of him and started kissing his lips. He slipped his large hands onto Lucas’ butt cheeks, unable to resist squeezing their doughy fleshiness; gently bouncing and spreading them like the horny twenty year old that he was, knowing that they were about to have sex for the third time that morning. “Let’s tell them all then,” he growled with lust. “Let’s make sure that absolutely everyone knows that you’re my fat little piggy!”

It turned out that Talon had been exactly right. Once people realised that Lucas and the muscular hunk were an item, everything seemed to change. He sensed the whispering behind their backs. The disapproval was obvious; from the guys who felt Lucas had turned their buddy gay, to the oblivious few who looked at Lucas’ increasingly chubby appearance and wondered how he had bagged a guy who was now so far out of his league. Even Jay had given Lucas a friendly word of warning about dating a guy like Talon; still laughably oblivious to the fact that he himself was dating a highly effective feeder.

Lucas, who hadn’t been home in weeks, decided that he couldn’t wait any longer to take Talon back to meet his parents, now that they were an official item. Despite his joy at fattening, he still squirmed the entire way there, wondering just how his family would react to seeing him carrying so much extra weight.

Indeed, although Talon found complete bliss in watching Lucas expand, he had understood his boyfriend’s concerns entirely; helping his boy to pick out clothes that worked to conceal as many of the excess pounds as possible. He stood next to Lucas the entire time, holding his hand and giving him courage as they walked into the house for the first time. Immediately, everyone had rushed around them in excitement to meet Lucas’ new boyfriend, with Talon’s strapping stature taking most of the focus; Lucas’ mother and auntie looking instantly quite smitten.

Talon had such an engaging personality. It was the reason why he was so well known and liked across the college campus. He had a way of engaging with absolutely everyone; knowledgeable about such a wide range of subjects, he could always find a way to tap into others’ interests and chat for hours with them. Lucas had slipped off to bed, leaving his new boyfriend speaking at length about fishing, of all things, with his dad and older brother; laughing at the fact that the handsome boy had already been invited along to go to the lake with them the next morning.

“I think my parents might like you!” Lucas chuckled in amusement as he and Talon finally got some time alone together that Saturday afternoon, after the highly successful fishing trip was done with.

Talon smirked. Despite how easily people seemed to take to him, there was no doubt that the guy knew exactly what he was doing. Charm was a skill that Talon had mastered better than anyone Lucas had ever known. “I think I’ve got them on side,” he nodded. “Of course,” he grinned, looking over his shoulder to check that no one was within ear shot. “It’s all smoke and mirrors. All I’m doing is distracting them from the fact that I’m turning their good-looing son into my own beautiful, fat piggy,” he teased, making Lucas laugh with pleasure. “Did anyone comment on how many times I cut some of your aunt’s birthday cake for you last night?” he asked, knowing that Lucas had had more than enough time that morning to discuss him with his mother and aunt.

“They just think you’re sweet and attentive,” Lucas nodded, laughing again at how easily Talon was getting away with it all.

“Sweet and attentive, that’s me,” Talon joked. “Not a wicked, evil feeder at all…” he whispered into his boyfriend’s ear, whilst simultaneously reaching under the loose fitting t-shirt to grab at the building softness underneath.

By the end of the afternoon, Lucas was feeling a lot more confident in his thicker body around his family. Talon had pushed him to go into the back yard for a swim together, meaning that everyone would have an unfiltered view of his swollen form. He’d not wanted to go, but Talon had cleverly reassured him that it would all be fine. It was only with some reluctance that Lucas had gone through with it, forgetting that Talon had his ultimate weapon to help Lucas avoid the judgemental eyes of his family. If any man in the entire world could pull off a tiny pair of swim shorts, it was Talon. Lucas sometimes took it for granted just how insanely impressive the guy’s body was. However, it was clear by the open mouths of everyone in Lucas’ family that they were paying a lot more attention to Talon than they were his own softened shape. A mixture of awe, admiration and jealousy, Talon revelled in the quiet attention he was getting; hopping in and out of the pool for any reason at all; bringing drinks and snacks for Lucas as he lazily drifted around the shallow end, enjoying the sun.

After drying off, Talon’s smirk was hard to miss, so pleased was he that his plan had worked flawlessly. “I don’t think that anyone even noticed that I fed you almost a thousand calories in sodas and snacks whilst we were out there,” he chuckled, rubbing the distended stomach on his boyfriend.

Footsteps were heard and Talon quickly retreated, posing with his arm over Lucas’ shoulder as his dad walked into the room. “Hey, Talon,” he called, not even looking at his own son. “My buddy thinks he can get us an extra ticket for the game tonight. You wanna come? I’d love for them to meet you.”

“Oh, man!” Talon sighed regretfully. “I’d love to, but I just promised Lucas that I’d take him out for food tonight,” he lied. “I read about some awesome dessert place downtown and figured that he deserves a treat,” he continued, deliberately rubbing Lucas’ back in just the same, comforting way that he did whenever his chubby boyfriend was trying to push down a calorie shake for him.

“You sure? They’re pretty great seats!” Lucas’ dad tried, sounding bitterly disappointed to be missing out on spending time with his new best friend.

“Sorry,” Talon replied, suddenly bold enough to reach down and rub Lucas’ fatter, swollen ass, even in front of his father. “When I make a promise to your handome son, I never break it....”

The second true test of their status as a real couple came as Talon invited Lucas along to his cousin’s wedding. Having travelled down on the Friday, they’d had time to meet up with the strapping boy’s family beforehand. They met at a particularly classy restaurant and Lucas began to see that Talon’s family had a lot more money than he had first assumed. With two accomplished brothers, it was clear that Talon wasn’t the only smart one in his family. The brothers were at least ten years older, but handsome men nonetheless; sat together with their attractive, pretty wives, they peered around with interest as Lucas walked in with the muscular Talon. There were looks, of course there were; secret knowing glances between them all, putting Lucas a bit on edge.

“You really hit the weights hard this year, huh?” asked Mike, the oldest brother, who was also a lawyer, squeezing his hand over Talon’s large shoulder as if to feel the changes for himself.

Despite the smiles and warm words, Lucas detected a strange sibling rivalry and hostility between Talon and his brothers. Even with his flawless charm, Lucas could always tell when Talon didn’t really like someone.

“And you must be Lucas?” the other brother nodded politely, shaking him by the hand as if conducting an official meeting; immediately introducing himself as a doctor of physics in a Californian university, alongside his wife. It was also the place where Talon’s father had worked for many years as professor; yet another impressive fact about Talon’s family that Lucas had never learned; alongside the revelation that their mother had been a successful novelist for decades.

Talon was clearly the baby of the family and, as it transpired, the one that they all considered to be the uncontrollable black sheep. Within no time at all, the brothers were dragging up stories of Talon’s exploits as a kid. It was obvious that Lucas’ new boyfriend had always had a devious streak to him, never one to play by the rules; the tales making them all laugh with glee. Lucas could picture the man he loved so dearly in each story. Talon hadn’t changed in the slightest!

The wine was flowing and everyone was soon loosening up. Lucas felt like he wanted to make a good impression with Talon’s parents. However, much like Talon, the brothers were such big personalities; it was hard for anyone else to make an impact on the conversation.

“I’ve got to say,” Mike began, looking directly at Lucas, “you’re not at all how we pictured you.”

Slightly taken aback, Lucas smiled awkwardly. “How so?” he asked.

“Well, you’re at least a hundred pounds lighter for a start,” he laughed, not noticing the awkward way the rest of the family were looking around at each other as the words tumbled from his mouth. “Do you remember that girl Talon fell in love with at the end of high school? Cammy? Casey?” he pondered, eventually giving up as no one jumped in to help. “Talon was so into her. Do you remember?” he asked the table. “There’s a picture of them going off to their prom together. She was massive!” he laughed. “Then there was that girl who looked like a beach ball that he brought home during his gap year before college…” Mike blindly went on.

“I’ll stop you right there,” Talon jumped in calmly. “If you think this is meant to embarrass me in front of Lucas, you’re wrong. He already knows about all those other relationships. We don’t keep things like that from each other.”

“Mike wasn’t trying to…” Talon’s mother jumped in, clearly well used to playing the peacekeeper.

“Let’s ask Lucas then, shall we?” Mike cut in obnoxiously; thinly disguising his dislike of his brother with a smug smile. “How do you feel, dating a creepy chubby chaser? I’m sure it must be every gay guy’s dream?” he snorted sarcastically.

Lucas looked around the table: the older, retired and distinguished parents; the good looking brothers, accomplished and successful, with their typically beautiful wives and their equally exciting careers. Talon didn’t fit in with a family like this. He was the square peg in a very round hole. All the stories from earlier now made complete sense. Talon really was the black sheep of the family; how could he not be? He was, and always would be, the naughty one, with mischief and wickedness twinkling in his eyes. He clearly enjoyed it, pushing the boundaries and expectations of this otherwise perfect family that couldn’t understand him, and it was a role that he played entirely for his own amusement. If arrogant Mike had thought he could embarrass his brother, he clearly didn’t know him at all. Talon was the one person in the whole world who felt no shame at all for being entirely who he was.

“Actually, I’ve been putting on a lot of weight since Talon and I got together,” Lucas stated simply, rubbing his smooth stomach as if to demonstrate to the family that he was really a lot softer and fatter than they may have expected from the loose fit of his shirt. He felt Talon’s hand slide affectionately onto his thigh and Lucas turned to look at his handsome boyfriend, smiling with pride. “It’s something Talon and I have been enjoying a lot.”

The arrogant brother had been stunned into silence, whilst others looked down awkwardly or stared at the two of them, wondering what on earth they meant.

“I’m taking Lucas out for more dessert after this,” Talon added. “He’s got an amazing sweet tooth,” he continued, joining Lucas to affectionately rub his little tummy and even give it a small pinch. “As you can all probably tell!”

Still there was silence around the table, something the waiter noticed as he walked by, asking them if they were ready for the check.

“Thank you,” Talon mouthed to Lucas as soon as the attention was diverted away from them. He couldn’t have looked prouder or more in love if he had tried. Not only did he have someone who shared his sense of humour and passions, he also had a guy who understood him completely. Anyone who could out themselves as a gainer to his parents upon the first time of meeting them, was definitely a keeper in Talon’s eyes.

Waking up in the hotel room the next morning, Talon and Lucas had both become so aroused as they realised the dress pants from Lucas’ suit were never going to button, and that even the jacket was too tight to button properly. Despite how well most of his clothes had been hiding it, it was obvious now that Lucas’ ass had been quietly blowing up a lot more than either of them had realised, making them laugh how, even when sucking in hard, the greedy boy couldn’t even come close to buttoning them up.

But as Talon went off to get showered, Lucas was faced with the awkward job of actually having to find an alternative to wear that day, even with the limited amount of items left in his weekend bag. He cursed himself, having spilt chocolate milkshake all down his shirt and pants from the night before, eliminating those entirely. The only other smart pants he had with him just about buttoned up after quite some effort. However, they were an extremely snug fit, with an unflattering cut now that he was carrying more than a few extra pounds on his rear. Lucas had only packed them in the hopes of turning Talon on during their long drive home in the car they’d borrowed from one of their housemates.

“Oh, Talon! What am I going to do?” Lucas fretted. “I don’t think I can wear these either, and there’s nothing else that’s left in my bag. Just look at me!”

Gazing over at his boyfriend’s face as he returned from the bathroom, Lucas could clearly tell that Talon had left the building. His eyes had misted over with lust and his jaw was slack, as if his brain simply could not function any longer. “You look amazing!” he growled with lust, already dressed up in his fitted, smart, stylish and sexy suit.

“Look at how it stretches over my ass though,” Lucas pointed, feeling genuinely concerned. “I don’t know how well I will even be able to walk. You can even see the outline of my dick in them!” he gasped, feeling almost panicky at how much of his gains people would be forced to see at this super expensive wedding.

“You looking fucking awesome!” Talon whispered into his ear, coming closer and feeling up his body in all the fleshier spots that Lucas knew the bad pants and tight shirt exposed so much.

“Talon, I’m serious!” the chubby guy protested, as his man unbuttoned tortured pants and started tugging on Lucas’ dick as they gazed at his reflection in the mirror.

“So am I,” Talon growled, briefly stepping back to throw his jacket off, then unstrap his own belt and lower his zipper, pulling out his immortal erection that had already been inside Lucas that morning. Talon knew exactly what Lucas liked, making the chub shudder with pleasure within moments of first tugging them both off together.

Within no time at all, Talon was manouevering his boyfriend over to the opposite side of the room, lifting him with the strength of three men and laying him down on the top of the desk that was there. He unbuttoned Lucas’ shirt, sighing with awe as he saw the fatty torso before him: so perfect, so fat.

Lucas moaned on the table top as he felt Talon’s large hand sliding up and down his hardness. In return, he grabbed at his boyfriend’s erection and did the same. He stared across the room, able to see the sexy reflection of them both in the mirror; Talon’s extremely broad back and large arms; his sexy, tight ass, still inside his dress pants and moving slightly as he thrusted a little in time with Lucas’ hand work; his strong hips moving in and out.

“Promise me that you’ll wear those pants today,” Talon moaned with lust. Lucas could tell that the hunk wasn’t going to last long before climaxing. But, then again, neither was he.

“But I’m too fat for them,” he breathed lustfully back.

“You’re way too fat for them,” Talon agreed with delight. “That’s what’s got me so fucking horny!”

Lucas moaned even louder. There was little else that got him more aroused than hearing Talon tell him how fat he was looking.

“I want everyone to see how soft and doughy you are,” Talon stated, almost aggressively, as his orgasm started to build. “Promise me you’ll wear them.”

By that point, Lucas was already climaxing; squirting all over his torso. “I promise!” he screamed, pleased that he was even able to scramble a response back at all. However, it made Talon moan louder than he had ever heard before, and Lucas suspected, quite rightly, that he might have just given the kinky boy one of the best orgasms of his life.

They’d only just made it on time for the wedding; with the extreme eroticism of their morning ruining their timetable. Even now, the arousal of the two boys was practically leaching off their bodies.

Lucas had squirmed in his shirt on the walk down to the venue. It had been generously sized earlier in the gains, but now it stretched across his bloated middle, with a little awkwardness. Even the collar seemed too tight, as a fresh, pudgy, puffiness was beginning to take over his face.

Fed on a steady diet of Talon’s intelligent shakes, mixed in with appetite stimulants, Lucas’ stomach had found it surprisingly difficult to sit through the entire service without something to eat. It had gargled and rolled, aching for food. Each time, Talon had looked at him and grinned excitedly; his large hand rubbing affectionately on Lucas’ thigh and a stubborn, substantial firmness bouncing in his crotch.

Lucas hadn’t held back later on as the food was served. He’d wanted to try and make a good impression with Talon’s family, but his overactive appetite and revelations from the evening before had probably not helped. The news that Talon’s new boyfriend had come out as deliberately gaining weight had most likely spread with relative ease through the crowded event. In fact, it was realy quite obvious, given the looks he was getting at the buffet that evening.

Talon hadn’t left his side, seeming to enjoy the thrill of showing off his chubby boyfriend to everyone. He’d brought him further platefuls and slices of cake, along with plenty of beers as they were needed. Before long, the shirt buttons had stretched rather worryingly and Talon seemed incapable of looking away from the gradually emerging belly flesh between those tortured buttons.

“Just think, maybe we could have our wedding here one day,” Talon whispered as the pair of them took to the dance floor for a slow dance at the end of the evening. Lucas could feel Talon’s hands on his hips, almost tugging dangerously at the pants as if to show off to all those looking on just how oversized Lucas’ butt was becoming.

Lucas chuckled, knowing exactly what the cunning boy was doing and enjoying the fact that he could give him such a thrill. His only hope was that Talon wouldn’t tear them entirely, right there on the dance floor. “Maybe…” Lucas smiled, nuzzling into the strong man’s shoulder. “I’d want a better cake than their one today though,” he went on, remembering how unimpressive it had been,

“I’ll make sure that you have the best cake ever,” Talon whispered back. “Absolutely enormous, with all your favourite flavours; more calories in a single bite than most people eat in an entire day!” he teased.

“Mmm! Yes please!” Lucas moaned back, having to push himself into Talon a little tighter so that his erection wouldn’t be seen by onlookers. He was definitely ready for bed, although he knew that neither of them would be going to sleep any time soon.

Lucas hadn’t gone home that second summer and Talon had picked up some work around the college as well. “I’m not about to skip town just as your tits are coming in,” the horny feeder had proclaimed.

Lucas had chuckled. It was too early to call them that, but he’d certainly been noticing the difference. Talon had wanted to fuss over them all the time and had found some pretty impressive ways to ensure Lucas experienced genuine pleasure from stimulating them. The sensations had only spurred Lucas on to redouble his efforts to consume even more. And, with the added income from Talon’s summer job, combined with his own, Lucas was soon enjoying quite the lavish lifestyle, consuming more calories in a day than a man four times his size. By the last week before college started up again, his nipples had indeed swollen and pointed with building blubber in his chest. The fat had even begun its journey, pushing its way under his arms and widening his chest, like a real fat boy’s. Talon also loved the look of Lucas’ arms as they too began to surrender to the invading softness; the contrast between Talon’s own bulked biceps and Lucas’dough never failing to turn them both on.

“Do you think people will be shocked?” Lucas asked, gazing at their reflections in the mirror as Talon cupped under his stomach fat and shook the blubber that had formed there. A naked Talon, so firm and athletic next to him, moaned with delight; his hardness bouncing and flexing at the ongoing differences between their bodies.

“Oh I hope so!” Talon nodded, feeling more of the lardy flesh that was now taking over Lucas’ once toned butt cheeks.

“So do I!” Lucas grinned, feeling proud after his morning weigh in. Having been a steady 130lbs since high school, Lucas was now having to get used to some very different numbers on the scale. Ever since the first ten pounds, he’d continued to see the figures steadily climbing higher and higher: 140lbs, 160… Now he stood beside Talon, pot bellied and doughy all over, with a weight that measured over 195lbs. The big two hundred was now tantilisingly close. But even after that, there would be more. Of course there would be more.

It had been a relatively recent revelation to Lucas just how much pleasure he got from others noticing his gains. Perhaps it was because Talon seemed to get such a buzz out of it as well. Everything was sexier when Talon took an interest. With the warmer weather, Lucas had become used to heading to the park with Talon and taking his shirt off for all to see as they walked or lounged around. The feeling of blubber rippling through his body as he trotted along was an insanely erotic experiece; amplified only by the fact that Talon’s extreme weight training regime and cardio work had helped him pack on a further twenty-five pounds of pure muscle since they had started dating. He looked so much in shape, so strong and capable, that Lucas often felt that he had drifted off into a dream.

It was easy to get Talon’s attention. Indeed, it was like switching off all other mental functions to the boy’s brain once Lucas chose to remove his shirt and let out his belly. He’d tease the sexy guy with little moans when his stomach started to stretch, or whisper into his ear that he wanted more food. Talon’s hardness would respond, morphing into pure, thick concrete that could be seen through everything he wore. It was also a joy to see just how horny the kinky boy was for him. He could spend the entire day, climaxing again and again with Lucas, and was only ever one belly rub away from wanting to lavish Lucas with all of his doting affection.

Once Lucas’ butt started getting particularly squishy, Talon could hardly keep his hands off it. He continued to worship it, lying Lucas on his front in bed so that he could play and jiggle all that softness to his heart’s content. He enjoyed how the fat was spreading into Lucas’ thighs and how remarkably different his shape looked with the added mass on his hips. He liked seeing Lucas in sweatshorts and dress pants; anything where the material stretched over the oversized glutes and showed off the doughiness within. During times when his ass crack popped into view in public, Talon could barely contain his extreme arousal.

It was an absolute pleasure to gain for Talon. The validation and admiration his body gave the sexy man was something Lucas never thought was possible. Every fleshy ounce was noted and appreciated, his clothes shrinking every day. But then the magic seemed to stop. Shortly after hitting 215lbs, an entire month went by without gaining a thing, followed by a further week. It wasn’t possible to eat as much as Lucas did without getting fatter. So how was his body doing it?

“Nothing again!” Lucas grumbled, stepping off the scales in frustration.

“Don’t panic,” Talon chuckled, sliding in to smooch Lucas from behind. “You don’t need to put yourself under pressure for me. I can see the changes, even if the scale can’t,” he whispered, rubbing his hand against Lucas’ bulging love handles. “Trust me, I’ve got plenty of blubber to play with. You just need to relax and let it happen!”

Already Talon was moving in for another round of sex, locked in the bathroom together as they were. But the light from the scales might as well have been shining into Lucas’ face, for the numbers they displayed still burned in his mind. How long was he going to be stuck at just over two hundred and fifteen pounds?

“No, wait a second,” Lucas cried out to his lustful boyfriend. He looked at the gorgeous hunk; the evidence of how hard Talon had been working in the gym standing right before him, yet he was feeling so pitifully behind where he wanted his own body to be. “I need to start taking this more seriously,” he grumbled, rubbing his small, but very soft belly. “I really liked it when I was seeing big changes. I just… I miss getting fatter.”

Talon kissed him sweetly. “It’s just a plateau,” he offered soothingly. “These things happen.” He kissed Lucas again. “But, if you really want to get fatter… and I mean, seriously fatten up, I guess I can think of a few changes we could make to kick start things again. Then again… how fat are we talking?”

Lucas’ arousal immediately spiked. Talon sounded so confident and self-assured. Suddenly, the idea of gaining weight seemed so easy if left in his very capable hands. “I want to be huge!” he moaned, kissing Talon with lust. “Fatter than we’ve ever spoken about before!”

Talon looked at him, with a smirk of pleasure spreading across his face. “Okay,” he nodded slowly. “I can definitely do that to you.”

The muscular man took a step back to look at Lucas’ body, as if to take a mental picture that he could keep forever, then he took Lucas’ hand and led him into the shower with him.

Lucas had been sound asleep when he first felt Talon touching him up. Shortly after, he was rolled onto his back, his legs spread, with Talon disappearing under the covers to blow him off at three in the morning. He moaned, reaching over his stomach to touch the back of Talon’s head, as the guy’s tongue worked with the utmost skill to make him hornier than ever. He knew Talon wouldn’t let him climax right away, but he still moaned with longing when Talon came back up.

“Are you ready to get fatter for me?” the hunk asked, knowing that Lucas was aroused enough to do absolutely anything for him. He reached over and Lucas could suddenly see that the table on the side had been filled with shakes and treats. How long had Talon been awake, preparing it all? This hadn’t been in any way spontaneous. Did that make it even sexier?

In the quiet silence, Lucas swallowed and chewed between lustful kisses and whispered praise. He was still feeling tight after eating so much before bed, yet he was so horny and relaxed, he felt that he could keep going for hours. Somehow, it seemed more erotic and naughty at night, with no other sounds in the house at that time; Lucas’ chewing and slurping sounding ten times louder than ever before.

After the third shake, Talon expertly brought them both to a climax. Then, without much tidying, the strapping, muscular boy slipped his big arm over Lucas’ chest, slowly rubbing his boyfriend’s belly until he fell fast asleep. When he awoke, the room was tidy once more, with everything cleared away by a perky Talon who had just returned from a morning jog.

“Morning, sleepy head!” the man teased, throwing off his sweaty t-shirt to launch himself down on the bed next to Lucas. “How’s your tummy this morning?” the kinky boy asked, pulling down the sheets a little so that he could kiss the softness of his chubby lover’s stomach.

Lucas raised his eyebrows in realisation. He’d felt so completely stuffed and bloated when he fell back asleep, yet, now he felt absolutely fine; hungry even, and he told a delighted Talon just that. “I do need to get up shortly though,” he sighed, enjoying the comfort of Talon’s bed. “I need to take a textbook back to the library.”

“Which library?” Talon asked, suddenly serious. Then, when told, he shook his head. “That’s like a half hour walk. No, I’ll take it back later,” he insisted, kissing the belly once more, breathing in the smell of it like a scented flower. “I’m not having you burning unnecessary calories at the moment”

“I can’t just stay in bed all day!” Lucas chuckled. But the grin on Talon’s face told him otherwise; letting him know that that was exactly what was going to be happening that day.

Lucas didn’t need the scales to tell him that he was gaining weight again over the next couple of weeks. He could feel himself softening all over, his blubbery glutes spreading wider across the bed as he sat up to eat whatever it was Talon had brought in for him. He didn’t dare ask what was in the recipes, knowing only that Talon was getting very hard as he ate it all up for him. How many sticks of butter? How many cartons of cream? All of those hidden calories that his boyfriend had been researching how to include in his food. Lucas found that there was a deep, erotic pleasure in the not knowing just what was being done to him.

The nightly feedings had become a regular fixture and Lucas hadn’t done anything more physical than was absolutely necessary. His underwear were pinching him badly in his hips, needing to be constantly tugged out of his crack. He explained his predicament to Talon, hoping he’d find it sexy, but as soon as the inevitable sex was over, Talon went straight out after the gym to buy him a whole load of larger sized ones.

“I can’t believe you’re in XXL underwear already,” Talon sighed with delight, unboxing them all and holding them out for him to admire the size.

“Well, you did always promise me a fat ass,” Lucas chuckled, having thought for some weeks that his rear was morphing into quite an unfamiliar shape. Pants did not sit at all the same now that his shape was beyond what the fashion industry chose to cater for. He looked at the way Talon’s clothes caressed his cute butt so well, then saw his own monstrous, wide rear that only seemed to be emphasised even more by the poor fashion available to him,

“A funny thing happened whilst I was training tonight,” Talon began explaining, simultaneously mixing up his most effective calorie shake to date. “This lady came up to me and said she works for a modelling agency. She said she wants me on her books. Said that I’ve got a look that a lot of advertisers are looking for these days,” he explained.

“That’s amazing!” Lucas gushed. He didn’t need anyone to tell him that he was dating the most handsome man in the world, but it was amazing validation for Talon, who’d trained so hard at the gym for so long.

“If she’s right, she said I could earn quite a bit of cash,” Talon smiled hopefully. “Enough to keep you overfed at least,” he added with a cheeky grin. “And it’s not just things like underwear you’re going to be needing. I know most of your pants are getting too tight and your belly sticks out of the bottom of your shirts quite often now. It’s sexy as hell, but probably not a look you want to show off in front of your parents and stuff,” he chuckled. “I’ll be able to take you out on more days out and spoil you.”

It was so typical of Talon to be blessed with good fortune and immediately begin to think about how he could use it to help Lucas. After only a week, Talon’s headshots were being dispersed around the industry and he was taking on bookings. Lucas half expected him to start going mad in the gym, training harder than ever, but Talon was as self confident as always. After the first few shoots, the amount of cash in his wallet had increased significantly and Lucas chuckled, imagining what people must be thinking, seeing such a sexy guy like Talon in the supermarket picking up such fattening treats every single night.

Talon had been modest by not telling anyone about his new sideline career. However, he had soon been tagged by his new friends on his socials; each of them amazed, delighted and in awe of how good his body was underneath his shirt. For Lucas, it was a feeling of pure pride as Talon earned enough cash to afford a car; dropping him off and picking him up from classes to save his fat legs from walking. Talon also never shied away from those public displsays of affection and Lucas became used to being pulled in for a kiss whenever they were out; a constant hand resting on his jiggling lovehandle or out of shape butt.

Lucas had no idea that Talon would be given so many free clothes in his line of work. The sexy guy was turning heads everywhere he went with the daring new styles and perfectly fitting items draped across his perfect body. He’d see the girls checking him out and always enjoyed the look on their faces whenever he went to hold Talon’s hand. It was hot, knowing that everyone was so attracted to Talon, yet Lucas was the only one who could have him. He knew that there would be girls, as well as guys, on these shoots making passes at him, yet none of them would have what it took to turn Talon’s head.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to have our own place?” Talon asked longingly. “That way, I’d be able to pump you full of soda at 3am and not have to worry about your burps waking everyone up. You’d never have to wear a shirt inside again; just keep that fat belly out all the time,” he whispred, rubbing the mass of stomach fat on his lover.

“I’d love that,” Lucas nodded in agreement, having begun to wonder just what they should do once college ended in a few months. He already stayed each night in Talon’s bed, often not going upstairs to his own space for days at a time. Judging by their grades, he knew that they would both be finishing with good degrees. Lucas managed to squeeze in all his studies and work time within the day, or in the evenings when Talon was working out; whereas Talon was just naturally gifted when it came to acquiring high grades. He had smarts and a shrewdness than few people could lay claim to. Nothing got by him and he was rarely caught out by anything. Just like Lucas’ fattening, Talon seemed to understand all the factors and play and how to use them to get what he most wanted.

And at a now 290lbs of pure, blubbery goodness, Talon’s efforts were definitely getting him results.

It was two in the morning when Talon and Lucas rolled into the house. Talon hadn’t been able to keep his hands off his fat boyfriend the whole cab ride home and he now pushed Lucas into his bedroom without even heading to the kitchen for the usual calorie shake before bed. Talon, who was no stranger to lust, suddenly seemed more enraptured by his fat boy than ever before and Lucas wasn’t afraid to say so, laughing at how quickly he was being undressed by the furiously horny stud.

“You just… ate like such a fatty tonight,” the hunk explained between breathless kisses. “Seeing you around all the guys and girls in the model industry as well… it just reminds me how insanely soft and beautiful you are now. All our kinky little secrets and your enormous, greedy appetite written everywhere, across your whole body,” he exclaimed, running his hands all the way up and down Lucas’ giant belly. “I thought some of their eyes were going to pop out of their heads when you kept on going back for more and more food.”

“Did I really eat that much?” Lucas asked, feeling surprised to hear Talon bringing it up as if he had just completed the most momentous stuffing of his entire life.

“About four thousand calories, I counted,” Talon explained, “Everyone was watching. Everyone was thinking exactly the same thing...”

“What a pig?” Lucas guessed.

“What a greedy, fat piggy!” Talon nodded in complete agreement. He spoke with such glee and satisfaction. He was all wound up and excitable, now taking Lucas’ hardness into his hand and stroking it in just the way that he the obese boy liked.

“I had no idea,” Lucas gasped, caught by the sudden pleasure of embarrassment and excitement. They’d eaten before they even arrived at the party that night and, if he was really honest, he still felt rather hungry now. There was only one possible conclusion from what he had just learned in that moment, and he knew that it was the thought that was going to make him climax very shortly: he’d crossed some invisible threshold, he no longer understood how extreme his behaviour and appetite had become. Lucas was actually losing control.

In the coming weeks, after the toil of the final exams was over, with the graduation ceremony only weeks away, Lucas and Talon waved a fond farewell to the housemates they had grown so fond of. Some had lived with them for the full three years, whilst others had come later, only ever knowing Lucas as the fat man he now was. In all regards, the time at college had been lifechanging, with new friends and relationships that would last a lifetime. Jay and Sarah were still going strong, with plans of moving down to be near her family in Florida, where Sarah planned to open a bakery business that would no doubt increase the tremendous size of Jay’s already wide, fattened rear. Lucas watched that tubby butt walking away for the final time; Jay’s hand firmly grasping his secret feeder’s. It had been some time since Lucas’ own ass had been smaller than Jay’s and, rather than the jealousy he once felt when seeing the rear on the quietly fattened boy, now he only felt a smug sense of superiority, reinforced by the proud rubbing and patting that Talon was giving it right at that very moment, obviously thinking exactly the same thing.

It was infectious, the buzz that Talong got, holding up Lucas’ pants and underwear in awe; his joy clearly displayed across his beautiful face. He swooned over the massive sizes that Lucas now needed just to cover up his fat. Every item was ridiculously oversized, the width of the pants when empty and draped over a chair causing Talon to lose his mind to lust every time he saw them. Lucas had also been experimenting with facial hair for a few months, so when he shaved it all off, ready for his graduation ceremony, the spectacle of his fatter chins had meant that Talon hadn’t been able to get his dick down in days.

The joy of having their own place after living in the house share for three years was a revelation. The new apartment was nice; very nice. Finally, Lucas had the space to slob out and relax without a shirt on once the summer heat was really biting hard. No longer needing to think of others, he had an entire kitchen filled with snacks and a freezer bursting with ice cream. Talon was earning enough to easily cover their bills, so Lucas didn’t feel the pressure that some of his peers did to rush out and get a job. For a few months at least, he was simply going to enjoy the lazy, obese lifestyle that he and Talon had fantisised about for years; his weight climbing higher and higher; faster than ever before. It had all been the perfect catalyst for a shockingly rapid fifty pound weight gain in just over three months.

As for Talon, despite his outstanding grades, he also wasn’t in any hurry to use his new degree either. The modelling work was taking him further than either of them ever imagined. The amount of money he could make in a day was overwhelming,and he’d started stashing it away into multiple savings accounts to set the pair of them up for life. The only downside being that Talon was often away for days at a time. Thenm upon the advice of his agent, Talon had started acting classes as well, and was even being pitched for a few reality TV projects.

“I don’t care if they’re desperate for me to sign on, I’m not doing a dating show!” Talon laughed down the phone to his agent, Gail. Ever since his career had started taking off, she had barely left him alone, wanting to squeeze him for every cent she could make. “Because, as you well know, I’m in a relationship!” he sighed, feeling exasperated as he tried to feed Lucas at the same time as taking the call.

“She’s got a nerve calling you so much after you’ve just got home,” Lucas grumbled as Talon wiped around his mouth with a napkin. It was the first calm time they’d had together, given that Talon had immediately whisked him into the bedroom upon getting home. Lucas had meant to try and slow the gains down during Talon’s absence, but his completely defenceless metabolism had seemed to think otherwise. He’d grown lazy; very lazy indeed. Some days, he didn’t even leave the apartment, getting a confusingly erotic pleasure out of doing very little at all. Talon had spotted the added thickness around his neck and into his chubby face in an instant.

“Well, I’m putting my phone on silent now,” Talon promised, soon throwing it over to the couch on the other side of the room so as not to be within his reach. “Listen, I’ve been in touch with someone about coming over to do some personal training.”

“You don’t need a personal trainer,” Lucas scoffed. “You’ve got one of the hottest bodies in the world right now.”

“It’s not for me,” Talon mumbled, sounding slightly embarrassed. “It’s someone to come and work out with you.”

Lucas’s face was one of pure horror. “For me?” he gasped. “Why the hell would I need someone to work out with me?”

“Just some stretches and light cardio work to keep you moving,” Talon smiled, seeing how shocked and disappointed his lover was. “It’s pretty obvious that you’ve hardly left the apartment since I went away.”

“But… I thought you were happy for me to just sit around all day?” Lucas mumbled, feeling like the rug had just been pulled from under him; as if the good times had suddenly come to an abrupt end. “How am I supposed to keep growing if you make me exercise?”

“It’s not necessarily about stopping you getting fatter,” Talon laughed, seeing the sulk Lucas had suddenly slipped into. “Sometimes I think you don’t realise how fat and lazy you actually are now,” he stated, sitting back slightly just to appreciate the enormity of his lover.

Lucas continued grumbling. He couldn’t say that he fully understood or agreed with Talon’s reasoning. In his mind, he still had much further that he wanted to go with his gains. However, it suddenly felt like Talon had reached a level that he was content with. Lucas was, at long last, fat enough.

He decided not to dwell on it, knowing that he only had Talon for one night, before work would drag him away again. There would be no point in spoiling the entire evening with an argument about taking a small amount of exercise. But the meaning behind it? Well, that hurt a little more.

Her timing couldn’t have been worse, Lucas thought, grumbling at seeing Talon’s agent on the intercom screen a couple of weeks later. Sweaty and aching from his first personal training session, Gail was the last person he wanted to see at that moment. The last hour had been pure torture. Lucas had been able to tell from the second that Talon’s trainer had arrived that he’d had absolutely no comprehension of how fat his client was actually going to be that day. Knowing Talon through a modelling shoot, he’d questioned Lucas again and again to check that he was at the right address, not believing for some time that he was in the presence of Talon’s real boyfriend. For the first ten minutes, he’d talked about nothing but weight loss and goals, even despite Lucas’ assurances that he wasn’t doing this to lose weight. One of the things Lucas had most enjoyed about getting larger was the fact that it gave him a licence to be as lazy as he liked. Talon’s whole reason for buying a car had been to save his fat boy from burning too many calories. As such, it made things sexy and erotic when Lucas had been a little slower doing things, or when he needed to take a moment to catch his breath. The exercise that afternoon however, had been anything but an erotic experience. Once they’d got going, the routine had been clunky and overly challenging, with the guy openly admitting that he had never tried to work with someone as large as Lucas before.

“He’s not in!” Lucas shouted down the intercom at Talon’s agent. He felt in no mood to deal with her bullshit and, in that moment, he felt fairly cross with Talon too, for making him get so hot and sweaty.

“I just need to drop off some contracts,” Gail shouted back into the intercom. “I won’t be long!”

Sighing, Lucas reluctantly buzzed the woman in and stood outside the apartment door waiting for the elevator to arrive. Just as normal, Gail breezed on by with her own agenda, flowing by Lucas and inviting herself straight into the apartment.

Flushed and sweaty, Lucas wasn’t looking, or even smelling, his best. However, Gail’s disapporoving look would have been the same, no matter what he looked like at that moment. “These contracts need signing and returning to me as soon as Talon gets home tomorrow,” Gail stated, as if explaining it to a child. “It needs to be the first thing he does when he gets home.”

Lucas took the envelope and opened it up, despite the little gasp of surprise from Gail as he did so. “This is for the reality dating show,” Lucas mumbled. “Talon told you he didn’t want to do that.”

Gail’s teeth clenched with impatience. “Well, what Talon says, and what he needs, are two very different things,” she preached. “I know what’s best for him. A career in this industry is like a well played game of chess: make the right moves at the right time and there is no end to what you can achieve.”

“Well,” Lucas sighed, handing her back the envelope, “Talon’s told you his decision. It’s a no.”

Gail was clearly used to getting her own way. She stood there, glaring at Lucas like he was a disgusting piece of gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe. “What are you even doing?” she complained, refusing to move her arms and take the envelope from him. “You really think you can keep hold of a guy like Talon?”

Lucas was slightly taken aback. Then, with that, Gail laughed; a spiteful, menacing look in her eyes. Instantly, Lucas was transported back to high school, imagining girls just like Gail conducting their exhausting mind games and less than subtle manipulations. “What’s so funny?” he huffed, realising that he no longer needed to pretend to like Gail.

“You are!” Gail smirked. “I mean, look at you! Every time I see you, you look like you’ve gained thirty pounds. And yet, you seem to think that a man like Talon is going to stand by you no matter how much you let yourself go!”

“You have no idea about our relationship!” Lucas shouted back.

“Oh, I think I do, honey!” Gail laughed again. “I’ve seen it hundreds of times before. There are millions of guys out there, just like Talon; with their cheeky preference for people who are on the larger side. And I don’t doubt that you two might have had something special once. But, sweetheart, you need to get a grip. You’ve turned into a whale! You can’t even begin to comprehend the world that Talon is living in now: surrounded by beautiful men and women every day; people who understand this life better than you ever could.” She paused only briefly, as if her spiteful words rose with such ease to her sharp tongue. “If he’s out there, travelling the world, he’s not going to want to come home to someone who hasn’t even got their enormous, lardy butt off the couch all day. Talon’s profile is getting bigger and bigger every single week. How long until people want to learn more about his personal life? His home town? Whether he’s single or not? You really think he’s going to take YOU with him to some movie premiere?” she laughed, as if the absurdity of the idea was all too much for her. “You’d turn him into some sort of freak show! A laughing stock! And that,” she threatened menacingly, “is something I cannot have.”

Lucas had never been the type to be easily rattled, yet Gail had done just that. As soon as he’d kicked her out, he’d tried to contact Talon to tell him what had happened. However, just like earlier that morning, there had been no answer. The waiting was torture, with Lucas suddenly finding himself questioning everything. Why did Gail still think she could get Talon to sign up for a reality dating show? Why hadn’t the personal trainer been told by Talon how big he was? Didn’t he share pictures of the two of them together? Did some people he worked with even know he was in a relationship? Was his whale-like appearance now becoming an embarrassment for Talon? Was that why he’d hired a personal trainer?

Getting up off the couch was an unpleasant thought. There would have to be stages to it. He’d have to use his arms to support himself and try to swing his body in the right way to keep the momentum so that it wouldn’t be too exhausting after all that exercise. He knew what people thought of him: that he was gross and disgusting. But he had never imagined that Talon would feel those things too: that he could ever get too fat, too greedy and lazy. Yet, he hadn’t seen Talon in days. In fact, the handsome man who had started all this wasn’t even returning his calls.

Lucas felt so alone, and yet, so desperately hungry: for food, as well as the fat that was slowly taking over his entire existence.

“Oh, my goodness! What a day!” Talon cried out a couple of hours later, catching Lucas by complete surprise as he ate his feelings with a massive tub of ice cream. “I haven’t stopped since half four this morning!” he chuckled, turning the corner and seeing his boyfriend at last. “Looks like the party has started without me!” he sighed, seeing his lazy, oversized boy with a smear of chocolate ice cream around his face. “They had to cancel the shoot because of the weather, so I got an early flight home.”

“Didn’t you see my messages?” Lucas asked, now far too sore from the workout that afternoon to get up and greet him..

Explaining that his cell phone had died that morning, Talon was soon brought up to speed on everything that had happened. He stayed silent, allowing Lucas to get it all off his chest, only preparing to speak once the fat man had stopped.

“Okay… first of all,” Talon began, as if about to start wading through hot treacle, “perhaps the personal trainer wasn’t my best idea,” he agreed, sitting a little closer to rub his obese boyfriend’s aching thigh. “And I’m definitely not wanting you to lose weight. It’s just… like I said last time… your body is gaining a lot of weight quite quickly. There’s nothing wrong with a fat guy improving his flexibility and stamina. I actually read that it helps to increase your appetite. Which, if I’m really honest, was my main reason for wanting to try it.”

Lucas felt a pinch of optimism as Talon’s hand reached out and grabbed the lardy flesh that had slid from under his t-shirt; his ever gentle fingers caressing it with as much affection as they always had.

“Plus, with the way that ass of yours is growing, I’m going to need you to have that flexibility to bend over quite a lot for me!” he teased, sensing that Lucas would be okay with him lightening the mood now that he had shared all of his concerns.

“I know you sometimes feel guilty,” Lucas nodded, trying to understand Talon’s reasoning. “When we first got together, we never talked about me getting as big as I am now.” “No, that’s true,” Talon agreed, suddenly looking a little sheepish.

“And I know you sometimes feel bad for getting hard, hearing me huff and puff and get out of breath,” Lucas ploughed on; determined to get everything out in the open.

Talon nodded. “Yeah, that’s definitely something that plays on my mind sometimes,” he agreed, wriggling to disguise the boner he was getting just by talking about it.

Lucas chuckled, always enjoying seeing Talon squirm with these types of inappropriate erections.Then, recognising that they both knew that Talon was getting aroused, they laughed, lightening the mood even more.

“Remember though, I fell in love with a guy who was getting off to secretly fattening up his best friend without a second thought,” Lucas teased.

Talon smirked and wriggled a little closer to Lucas on the couch so that he could reach his hand over the full extent of Lucas’ belly to grab the remote and turn off the TV in the backround. “Oh, yeah,” he chuckled. “That certainly was a very strange thing to do…” he smiled playfully, grabbing the skin of Lucas’ belly fat once more and starting to rock the blubber so that it rippled through his entire body.

Now it was Lucas’ turn to be provoked into a more aroused state. He closed his eyes for a moment, simply to enjoy the pleasure of feeling all that fat moving across his monstrous body. “I love this,” he moaned.

“I know you do,” Talon whispered back.

“I’m getting so fat; so lazy and out of shape…”

Talon moaned as well; the words arousing him just as much. The pair of them looked at each other, both seeming to understand that the lust they felt for Lucas’ ever intensifying obesity was something that neither of them could ever control.

Talon inhaled deeply, trying to reset and focus once more. “As for Gail…” he began. “I’m sorry you had to put up with that. She must have gotten wind that another agent has been trying to get me to sign with him instead.”

“Another agent?” Lucas asked, unsure whether to feel pleased or frustrated about Talon taking on even more work. Not when he still had so much fat that he wanted to gain.

“Well, I don’t want to be working all over the place like I am at the moment,” Talon reasoned. “I explained our situation to him; how I want to be here, with you. This guy has much better connections, right here in New York: more money, more opportunities… more time with you!” he offered sweetly.

“Good,” Lucas nodded in approval. “Because, I’m telling you… simply taking a shower these days is getting to be so…” “I know!” Talon jumped in excitedly, no longer ashamed to show that he enjoyed Lucas’ struggles. “And if you’re worried about me being somehow embarrassed about you,” he sighed, clearly showing a fair amount of guilt that Lucas had ever been made to feel that way, “this is exactly why you should use social media more.” He pulled out his cell phone, scrolling through app after app to show just how many pictures he had of the two of them together on both his personal and professional accounts. “You’re the person I’m most proud of in the entire world!” he exclaimed. He looked around, as if deciding whether to do something or not. “In fact…” he hinted, heading over to a drawer in the kitchen and rummaging around, right at the back. “I bought this a couple of weeks ago and was waiting for just the right time…”

Lucas gasped, spotting the box straight away. Then he held his pudgy hands over his large face, peeking as he saw the most handsome man in the world drop to his knees and propose to him. He had no idea that Talon had even been thinking about marriage; nodding his head without a second thought, before being swept up in an immediate, bold and romantic kiss.

“Now I have something to really fatten up for!” Lucas grinned excitedly, pulling off his t-shirt to unleash every last one of his blubbery belly rolls for the man he loved so much.

“I guess so,” Talon smirked, overwhelmed by the sight of Lucas. He lifted up the half eaten tub of ice cream from the coffee table along with the sticky spoon, clamped his hand onto Lucas’ belly fat and rocked it with nothing but love and lust in his eyes. “Come on then,” he whispered seductively; ready to feed. “Let’s get a jump start on some wedding preparations…”

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