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calyxaomphalos · 2 years

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The Ghosts of Windy Ridge

Day three, afternoon, four components

location #2 - Timmy's Diner (4) neighbor #13 - Dani - human all in black (6), young, non-binary, Leo item #12 - item I'm unsure what it's for event #2 - unexpected visitor, roll neighbor! neighbor #14 - spirit of someone who recently died (3) - the old Pastor, who was Dani's grandpa. Libra

3 April 2022, Sunday Afternoon

I was loathe to head back to Timmy's Diner, but that would seem to be the place to try to meet people on a Sunday afternoon. Somehow I didn't think I'd see Suzy the waitress. The cross she was wearing suggested she was a church-going type. Perhaps the S. Dermer listed on the church sign as the Sunday school teacher was her for all I knew.

The diner was mostly empty with one group of people in a booth in the corner, and a lone young person all dressed in black sitting at the counter. It was the line cook who called out, "Sit anywhere ya like, I'll get to ya when I can." I took a stool one over from the goth. She-they?-really looked the part. Black clothes from head to toe, the latter of which were covered in some very heavy-looking platform boots. Their hair was a bit of a rat's nest of tangles, and obviously dyed black. Black makeup on their lips had amazingly enough not come off onto the white coffee mug in front of them. Plenty of thick, black eyeliner had been drawn on with an almost ancient Egyptian style.

I could almost feel them cringe when I sat down, but after they stole a glance at me and caught my bright blue hair, they turned to me with a smile. "Hey," they said. "Cool hair."

"Nice eyeliner. Inspired by ancient Egyptian art?"

"Yeah."

"I'm Serren, staying in Windy Ridge for the month," I offered.

"Good to meetcha. I'm Dani, born here, probably gonna die here. What on earth could you possibly want in Windy Ridge?"

"I had a good friend who lived here, died about four years ago. I always regretted not visiting, and some recent signs suggested it would be worth my while to come anyway," I said, figuring the death of a friend would probably be a topic that'd appeal to Dani.

"Signs. Like what?"

I pulled out my pouch of Tarot cards and said, "I read Tarot, sometimes talk to spirits."

Dani's eyes went wide. "Could you read for me? Could we talk to my granpa?"

We relocated to a booth to talk more privately. The cook saw us move and gave us a nod.

As we approached the booth, I tucked in on one bench so my left arm was against the wall with an open seat to my right. Dani was about to sit down across from me, but I said, "You need to sit next to me, so you see the cards the same way I see them, OK?"

"OK, yeah, that makes sense, I guess," Dani said, sliding onto the bench with me.

I had the deck out of its pouch and had started shuffling. "Tell me about your grandpa. I take it he's passed on? How long ago was that?"

"Right, OK. Granpa was the Pastor at the First Baptist here in town -"

I nearly lost my riffle then and interrupted, "So young Pastor Mitchelson is new here?"

"Yeah, yeah. The Baptists sent us the new Pastor about a month after Granpa died. He left us just before last Halloween. The Christmas service was the first time I tried going to church..." Dani drifted off in quiet sobs. I put my arm across their shoulders.

"That's great, Dani, that's all I need to know. Take a moment to re-center yourself and when you're ready, we'll read."

Dani sniffled a bit and then took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly. "Poor Suzy," she said.

"Suzy who works as a waitress here Saturday mornings? What about 'poor Suzy'?" I asked, trying not to sound too eager for the answer.

"Yeah, Suzy Dermer. She's the Deacon. Works here most of the time, but for Sundays and the Tuesday Bible study, she's at the church. Granpa was her idol, the type of Pastor she wants to be someday, if the church lets her get that far. And now that Pastor Dick is here, those roadblocks are going up fast."

The way she said "Pastor Dick" had me wondering, so I went ahead and asked, "The 'R.' stands for 'Richard', then?"

Dani grinned. "You got that right. He hates it when people call him 'Dick' though. We're supposed to call him 'Pastor Rick'. I've heard at least one other person call him 'Pastor Jerk'."

I cut the deck into three piles and then said to Dani, "Pick one."

They indicated the center pile. I restacked the deck with the center pile on top and then turned over the first card. I took a deep breath as I heard Dani gasp next to me.

"The Tower here represents your grandpa's passing, the way it turned the world upside down and broke things," I said, looking at the shattered obelisk portrayed on the card. My vision blurred a bit and then I could feel the old Pastor's presence. He was disappointed. In Dani, for falling for a Tarot reading. I wondered if he'd enjoy the irony in me telling Dani just that.

"He's disappointed," I started.

"Because I've strayed from the path of the Lord," Dani stated, more than asked.

"Something like that," I replied. I sensed the disappointment grow, it wasn't just in Dani, but a sadness for the church and some anger. "He never met Pastor Dick in person, your grandpa, did he," I stated.

"No."

"Well, I don't think he likes him all that much," I said, and put down another card. "The nine of pentacles is a reminder that there is wealth and value all around you, you just need to recognize it when it is offered."

"Am I going to need to pay you for this?" Dani asked, sounding worried.

"Not unless you feel like you have to give me something for it, no. You've already helped me in ways I'm not sure I could even explain," I answered. The spirit of the old Pastor bristled a bit, but I could tell he was softening up to me. "You ready for one more card?"

Dani nodded. I turned over a third card. "The knight of cups says to take action and follow your heart." I took a quick peek at the card on the bottom face of the deck and put the stack with that face up onto the table. "The Chariot here at the base of things says that only you can drive your path through life."

A look of resolve passed across Dani's face. They reached into a pocket and pulled out an oddly shaped piece of shiny metal, maybe not quite three inches long and no bigger around than a phone charging cord. It was almost a straight rod, with a slight bend, almost a full round, with flattened places, and a hole drilled in one end. "This is kind of a good luck charm, I want you to have it."

"Thank you very much!"

Dani got up out of the booth and said, "I need to go now. Thank you for the reading. Maybe I'll see you around."

"I hope so," I added. The spirit of the old Pastor had left as well. I settled up my tab and headed back to my cabin.

#the ghosts of windy ridge #writeblr #nanowrimo #over the mountain

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stopbeingrude · 3 years

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Hi guys. Happy Gruvia/ Greige day. I wish all of you wonderful time.

That's gonna be the first one shot , i have ever published here, feedback is welcome. I hope It's not that bad and you'll somehow like it lmao.

,,I think I would rather have a plushie as a Christmas gift…., but I guess I shouldn't be too picky."

-Dad? - called 6-year-old Greige, on one December afternoon, when both him and his father were decorating a christmas-tree in the living room . December 24th was slowly approaching. It was Greige's favorite time of the year , because he was able to spend Christmas with all of his family, including all of his uncles , aunts and friends. Not forgetting about grandpa Makarov . Even Uncle Gildards would show up, bringing something for the kids. -I was wondering what would happen if Santa's reindeer suddenly wanted to pee while flying?- asked seriously little boy. No one wanted to tell him that. When he asked big bro Romeo , he just started laughing and then he called him silly. "How could he do that?" -thought heartbroken Greige after. -Heh , where did that come from? ... you know ... they'd have to stop somewhere by, right? Daddy doesn't know much about it- said Gray, trying to keep himself from laughing. He couldn't laugh, he knew it would offend his little angel. Their son hated when someone made fun of him . After all, he was already a big boy, and everyone knows that such must be taken seriously. - So maybe Mommy knows? I will go and ask her,- said the little boy, putting down Christmas decorations . Speaking of mom, he had recently noticed his mother's strange behavior. She had been getting tired very easily lately, she often took naps. He also noticed that she spent an enormous amount of time sewing ,mostly clothing. Well.. he was aware of his mom's hobby, but usually it was limited to sewing plushies, sometimes socks or fixing their clothes. - You know, I don't think mommy knows more than me - said Gray after hanging the last Christmas-ball. - Besides, you know that mommy is sleeping now, right? She hasn't been feeling well lately, so she mustn't be disturbed. Something was off, even Daddy acts differently- thought little Fullbuster Now, that got the boy worried. - Is something wrong with Mommy? - asked slowly Greige He loved Mommy and Daddy most in the world and the very thought of them suffering hurt him deeply. "No, I won't start crying…Boys my age don't do that..." He had often been told that he should stop being such a crybaby (mostly by Yajeh or Nasha . Shutora would never. She was always trying her best to cheer him up,while reminding her twin and little Dragneel that if they won't stop with this stupid teasing, she would make sure both of them would regret it later). Unfortunately Greige could not help it. Whenever someone was hurt or something went wrong, he would usually cry. Turns out he inherited his mom's sensitivity... "Mommy…..something was definitely wrong with her.." The thought of something happening to his dear Mom filled him with great terror once again. He started shaking What if she's ill, or even worse..she's gonna….. "No , no , that's not possible..." - he shook his little head full of dark , curly hair. - I'm overreacting, just like Yajeh told me - No, no.. don't worry, Greige, Mommy's fine, it's nothing serious,"-Gray said quickly, trying his best to calm his son down, giving him a hug and then kissing him on forehead He knew exactly what was going on with his beloved, in fact, when an excited Juvia came back home one evening and informed him of the pregnancy, he was overjoyed. Soon he will be holding his son or daughter in his arms. Then it hit him. The baby might turn out to be a girl, and Gray had no idea how to take care of girls...Dear God….Ok ,ok.. he still has plenty of time to learn. He can always ask Gajeel about it..yes Gajeel or Alzack...even Elfman ( he would never ask Natsu, even if he's life depended on it, that would be too humiliating for him). Wait...it wasn't his top priority right now. After all, he needs to inform his son about the news first. Neither of them was quite sure how to do it. They remembered very well the situation from a few months ago when the Redfox twins got into an argument. Horrified, Greige stated that being an only child is not that bad, since having siblings meant constant war. Although being honest , Greige never

directly told them that he hates the idea of having a sibling . Considering how much time he spent with Nasha and Elfman and Ever's daughter Ember, or year-old Reiki Fernandes, it would seem that he's perfect for the big brother role. Besides, they can't hide it forever, sooner or later he would notice Juvia's belly. However, the biggest concern for Fullbuster was the fact that such news could lead to a longer conversation, which again could lead to uncomfortable questions that Gray was not ready to answer. He is not going to tell his son about the birds and the bees. No, no, hell no… None of them are ready for this! "Come on Gray, what's wrong with you, you just have to tell him. You've been in worse situations….after all, you've fought with all sorts of criminals, weirdos and monsters ,compared to what you've been through, it's nothing''- thought the ice mage But how to start such a conversation? How about …. -Hey Greige, have you written a letter to Santa yet? "Yes, just ask him what he wants for Christmas and make a few innocent suggestions." -Oh no i didn't, thank you for reminding me Dad. - And tell Daddy, what would you like to ask Santa for? The boy was silent for a moment, most likely to think about the answer, but after a while he called out in a loud voice. -I'D LIKE TO ASK HIM FOR PEACE IN THE WORLD AND FOR EVERY POOR PERSON TO GET A BETTER LIFE AND FOR EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY!..... It would also be nice to get a new plushie……but it's not as important. Do you think Santa can do that?-he asked hopefully Gray stood there for a moment, stunned. His baby was truly an angel...wishing happiness upon the entire world, it nearly made him tear up…. but no... he needed to explain to his son that he should wish for something more....... attainable. -Ooh... really..that's....very nice of you, but...I think that such a wish...yym...takes a bit of time and Santa w-won't be able to do it…., why don't you ask him for….. for example a toy like a teddy bear, figurines....or new books or something else...I don't know.......sibling?... Greige looked at him, like he had just proposed to him to take a walk on the rooftop. Where did that come from? What is dad talking about? S-sibling...?? -Sibling? You mean like a little brother or sister? A baby?- asked the little boy loudly. -Yes, that's exactly what I meant, but well you'll need to wait for a while, because it takes time for a baby to….be ready.- mumbled out Gray - So that's not really a Christmas present- stated boy still visibly shocked -...Well y-yes , but... -But didn't you say mommy has been feeling unwell lately?...If we had a baby, wouldn't it be tiring for her?....Besides, do you think we need a new baby? - asked seriously Greige Why would they need a baby? They were living happily in this house , just three of them. It's not like he dislikes babies , they're cute and all…..but it's just simply weird.. -Well... I wouldn't say it's necessary , but it would be nice to have one at home.. don't you think?....- asked his dad Maybe? -And don't worry about mommy, I am sure that she will be so happy with the new baby , it will make her feel better.- stated Gray , this time with a smile -Hello my darlings- Juvia's voice said suddenly They both turned their heads toward the bedroom's door, finding Juvia's tired but smiling face there. Greige quickly got up and ran toward his mother. -Mommy, are you feeling better? Do you need anything?- said the little boy, hugging her legs. Juvia kissed her son's cheek. -Hi sweetheart, Mommy is fine- she answered while taking a seat next to her precious Gray, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. -Did I hear you talking about babies?- Juvia asked, pretending to be surprised, while giving Gray a tiny smirk. - Daddy said it would be nice to have a baby and that it would make you feel better... - he began. - I don't think a baby is necessary, because it would be a little strange that there will be more of us in the house, but if you really wish for one ,then that's fine with me. -Really? Mommy's glad to hear that.-

replied a happy Juvia , giving her husband a big smile. Gray gave her the same smile, but just when he thought everything had been taken care of, there came the soft voice of his baby boy. - Mommy....Daddy...but you won't love the baby more than me, will you? - asked Greige, with his head lowered and tears in his dark eyes. Both Gray and Juvia stood there very surprised, neither of them had even thought of such a scenario. -Greige, what makes you think that?- asked older Fullbuster. -Sunshine, no...- Juvia hugged her son quickly- You mustn't think like that, we would never stop loving you. Remember darling, parents love all their children equally. - You know, its true that we'll have to spend a lot of time taking care of your brother or sister, but you have to remember that they won't be able to do anything on their own. You were like that when you were born too.- said Gray - I'm sorry. I won't do that again- said Greige seriously. -Do you think I offended the baby? I don't want the baby to think I don't want him or her,- said the terrified boy .What if the baby will always remember this and he will never be forgiven. - Don't worry, honey, I'm sure she won't mind,- said the water mage, stroking her belly. -She?-Gray thought. Turns out his wife wasn't telling him everything... -Wait a minute! -said suddenly Greige after a moment of silence -The baby will be in the tummy, just like Reiki was in Auntie Erza's , right? - Well baby is already there, but your right - answered Gray -Daddy? - Yes buddy ? - How did it get there? Shit. -Yyyy… Horrified, Gray turned his gaze to his wife, silently pleading for help. -You know what, angel? It's almost 8pm, I think it's time for you to take a bath, okay?- proposed Juvia, saving her husband from very uncomfortable talk. - Ok Mommy. Will you read me a bedtime story after we finish? - Of course They were already moving towards the bathroom when Juvia quickly turned towards her husband, gave him a kiss on the cheek and whispered : -You're welcome. Has Gray already mentioned how much he loved his wife?

Bonus!:

( ok I swear it was funnier in my head...Once again Happy Gruvia day !!!)

#gruvia #greige fullbuster #one shot #gruvia day #Mila's art #attempt at humor #greige day #gruvia family-day

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legionofpotatoes · 3 years

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I love your art, it is very detailed in a neat way. Was wondering how you got started making it as a source of income? How did you get your first paid work, I'd love some advice on how to get started, if that's ok

Thank you. Of course it's okay, although I doubt I have enough work experience in art to really delve into this. I only went full freelance this year, and had been juggling art as a side hobby until then. If you're still interested in my somewhat narrow perspective, and are okay with my long-winded rambles, I'll give it a shot:

So to answer your question fully, I'll describe how I started and move into personal advice and learnings later on. As a disclaimer, I am a white cishet dude in my late twenties with a moderate cocktail of mental illnesses, but overall I can pass for a functioning adult so a lot I have to say may come laced with privilege I cannot fully identify.

So uhh I began drawing in around 2012? I think? Maybe halfway through 2011? And I mostly made fanart for things I enjoyed and tried to branch out in communities that felt nourishing to my style and interests (I caught a bug for alt posters and enjoyed mainstream movies so I spent a long time on posterspy early on). There were a handful of opportunities that came from there but I could only accept a couple because of primary workplace commitments. Still, it showed that networking in a focused community was definitely a good place to start; I myself have huge trouble committing to social networks and really staying socially active, but I knew it was an essential ingredient in succeeding so I tried to make myself be involved in challenges and art support trains etc. as much as I could.

In parallel to all that I also ran a few third party online stores (redbubble, teepublic) for disposable income and would sometimes, if rarely, hit around $100-150 a month from those sources combined. It is a sort of thing that requires helper accounts on other social media sites to promote it on, because the stores themselves have a huge volume of content that translates into low organic discoverability. Obviously it was never gonna be the way towards financial independence through art, and with community projects being few and far between, I opened private commissions in around uhhh 2017 I think, focusing on offering a few styles I knew I could do well, and sometimes operating in individual fandoms (it was mostly a bioware thing to be frank). But I had to close them back down after a year or so, again because of work-life conflict and how badly it was burning me out. The reason I kept trying to monetize this hobby is because I honestly hated what I did for my main job and wanted to see a way out in some shape or form in the future.

And then in 2020 I had to quit my main job altogether because of *gestures at pandemic* and deal with a mental breakdown from all the wonderful things it did to us and me specifically. I took a short break and decided to give art a shot full-time, and that was around May this year. I was planning on opening up commissions again (and I still am), but a few sudden opportunities that fell in my lap moved that timetable down and now I'm grateful to even be doing something I am getting adequately paid for.

So, with that somewhat limited perspective, here's what I've learned that I'd tell myself if I was just starting out:

1. Being a fan of something can be a shortcut towards effective networking kickoffs. Which are important evidently. If you love something and enjoy making content for it, join communities, settle into a combination of social media websites that feel right for those interests + your body of work + your inner rhythm, and try to play to content discovery as much as your mental health allows you to. Like I said, I know that I myself am incredibly bad at self-motivating to talk to people, so I found that synergizing common interests into fanart - which I enjoyed making anyway - could be a way to give myself a gentle nudge forward and build those bridges leading to community activities, which then net experience and coverage. Sometimes even freelance projects from official avenues. Again; picking the right spaces for what you're after is key. Companies roam twitter, concept art recruiters scour artstation or linkedin etc, instagram can land you private commissions and collab opportunities, so on and so forth. Find your niche and try to kick up dust. However...

2. I do not believe that any social profile can replace a good portfolio. The thing that made an immediate difference to me this year was building a coherent, simple website with my best work front and center and a contact form on top. Every single opportunity I got came from that form (maybe via twitter or instagram initially, but always sealing the decision after going through the website), so I firmly believe that showcasing your skills and portfolio in a visually arresting and user-friendly way is a big priority. I had some reservations about tackling that task but fortunately I had help from a savvy life partner and we slapped it together via wordpress in less than a day. Twitter/whatever social media is prevalent in your target groups is definitely important to get the right eyes on your shit, yes, but those eyes will then look for a second stop where your work and rates are more clear and concise. Simplicity is key imo, I cannot overstate this. So make a cute, simple portfolio!

3. Your skills and rates will grow and change as you do. Let them. Over the years I built several lasting professional relationships from my obsession over mass effect and kept getting opportunities both from bioware and their partner companies, some small and some a bit bigger. A one-off job earlier this year opened an unexpected door to another much larger commitment, and then the work I did there brought some attention from small businesses looking for commercial commissions. These were all incredibly different projects in terms of scope and budget, and I've been tackling them all on a case-by-case basis and slowly coming into my own irt my needs, rates, and SOW thresholds. It is still a work in progress (and a LOT of literal work as well), and very much a thing I struggle with in publicly marketing, which is why I felt a tad underqualified to answer your question in the first place (obviously I did not let that stop me). But what it means for me now is that I am rapidly developing into whatever my "version" of a functioning freelance artist is, and when the conditions for that guy are met, I need to be able to confidently plant myself and operate from that space despite past precedents. Do not let anyone bully you into downpricing what you yourself perceive as legitimate products of personal growth and development. Speaking of which...

4. The shitty challenge of turning envy into inspiration, and paddling outside your comfort zones in full riot gear. it is hard, but realizing that being a miserable, self-hating artist in my early days got me nothing but more misery back was the first real step I took and what truly blew the hinges off. I was just not pleasant to be around, I would badmouth my work all the time, and it all somehow made sense in my broken mind because the validation I sought was purely external and the way I sought it was through eliciting sympathy via self-victimization (even when I made something objectively nice). It all led fucking nowhere. Except perhaps to my own narcissism that I one day managed to identify and start managing. So I started looking at things that made me seethe with envy and calmly deconstruct and figure out their inner workings instead, do studies, and find nuggets of inspiration or discover new ways to approach rendering or building up specific elements. It was an application of analytical diligence to what I wanted to be a purely emotional, esoteric workflow, but that I deep down knew wasn't. Art is a discipline and a skill, and maybe it isn't a straight line, but you gotta find some line to thread nevertheless. Being self-hating was almost an identity I had to break out of, and despite it still being like, 4-5% there? I realize its cause and effect on me, my work, and those around me, so it is with a conscious choice that I gently set it aside when I work and especially when I learn. It won't always stay quiet, but the effort is the difference. Your doors towards accepting true growth and venturing into uncharted territories, art styles, and networking will really open from there. But there's a huge caveat...

5. Toolsets, accessibility, privilege, and all the good things that enable artistic expression and profitability are not given equal to all. you might do all the mental work I mentioned to be ready to rock and roll and learn and draw your way out of anything, but digital art is a fucking money pit that asks almost too much at times. I don't got a good case study here but identifying and ensuring accessibility to the tools you need to do your best work is, like, super important. The ergonomics can improve as you make money and settle into the job, but the basics have to be made available to you. And some of that might not even be under your direct control. That can be anything from pen tablets to software subscriptions to opportunities in hiring sullied by sexism or what have you. You gotta navigate all that through careful networking and money/time management. I don't do a good job of devoting specific slices of time to work/study, and my primary clutch is iPad software which went from a good deal to a nightmare scenario over the years. So all I can say here is do what I didn't; network, invest in a PC/tablet, and pick a software you'll learn that won't burn a hole in your pocket.

6. Be nice to work with? This one is hard to articulate and has landed my own ass in hot water in my early years because of how socially inept I am, but nothing is more worthwhile than being.. like. a good person to work with. That can be anything like meeting deadlines, or sometimes missing them but eloquently articulating why, being generous in early stages, being communicable and not too wordy in your emails, having a good grasp on abstract artistic concepts and how to describe them in simple terms, having a clear, laid out framework of your working rates in commercial and non-commercial projects and sticking to those guns with grace, understanding when you need to say no and saying it well, the works. Just being nice. Sometimes that might mean going headstrong with something you believe in, or simmering down and sucking up to the big man, all relative and adaptive. Part and parcel of the service provision dance that we all have to do in order to make bank. Know your lines here, obviously, and don't like. work for nazis. or uh.. *shudders* exposure. but be nice and empathetic and communicable and word will travel eventually. Skill may be in abundance these days, but good people are most certainly not, and capitalism has a way of bubbling up scarcity. Grim, but uh, them's the breaks.

I know I'm ultimately telling you to like. Have a body of work, make a portfolio, grow, and network. But that's really how I see it for now. And being nice can be a cherry on top that sets you apart, along with the inherent irreplaceable voice of your artwork. I think I rambled on enough, but if there is something specific you need my help with, even if you want to come off anon and talk in private, please feel free.

#anon #asks #long post #sorry I cant actually condense ideas better :(

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thisfoolwrites · 3 years

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My Altair (3)

And here’s part 3! Sorry for the long wait, I just worked 6 days in a row and retail is hell when the word snow is uttered on the news! Enjoy and thank you all again for the likes! Also sorry if you notice the name Hana or any descriptions. I try to get them all but I miss some sometimes.

Warnings: None for this chapter

Genre: Angst to fluff

Part 2

The last day of the camp Kuroo decided that he had had enough. He watched as {Y/N} laughed and smiled with the rowdy Karasuno boys. They had been friends for ten years, and now she wouldn't even speak to him. He waited till the {H/C} girl had gone to get water for her team. He followed her earning confused looks from his team. Kenma stared at the spot where the captain once stood. 'This is not going to end well.' he thought.

“{Y/N},” Kuroo called running after her. Hearing her name her blood ran cold. Two weeks she had gone without this confrontation. It couldn't be avoided forever. She turned and looked at him with cold eyes. The taller male gulped. She had never looked at him like that before. “We need to talk, don't you think?” he all but demanded. {E/C} eyes narrowed in anger.

“And if I say no?” She challenged, voice as monotone as she could make it. “Honestly Kuroo, you are-”

“Kuroo?” He cut her off. “You have always called me Tetsu, or Tetsuro when you're mad. Since when was I demoted to Kuroo?” He couldn't keep the hurt out of his voice. It almost caused {Y/N}'s resolve to break.

“Since you told your girlfriend that I was nothing more than a sister to you.” His eyes widened in shock. She heard that?

“Thats not what I meant.” He stuttered with his words. “She was asking all these questions on why I was so close to you and-”

“So you chose to lie rather than to tell the truth? Even after all this time you are still choosing to keep that summer a secret? God, for being so smart, you're so god damn dumb Kuroo!” She began to raise her voice but quickly calmed down, knowing that everyone would be able to hear her yelling.

“That's what this is about? You agreed to keep it quiet, not just me {Y/N}!” He argued.

“You didn't give me much of a choice.” Her voice was shaking at this point. Her eyes glistened with tears once again, everything about that night was coming back to her. She locked eyes with Kuroo, causing the male shrink back. “I never wanted to be a secret. I just wanted to be with you.” Her voice got quieter with each word she spoke. She turned away and began to walk away to fill up the water bottles again.

“I'm done with this conversation. Go back to the team.” She waved him off. Watching her disappear down the hall he was left to wonder, how long had she been holding in these feelings. Walking back to the gym he was met with the curious eyes of his team, and a scrutinizing glare from Fukurodani's captain. Did Bokuto know something that he didn't in regards to his best friend? No, he supposed he didn't have that title anymore. Watching the older Kozume walk back in with a fake smile on her face he realized, he hadn't had that title since last summer. Knowing that he had lost someone who was always there, hurt more than he had imagined.

Later on at the barbecue, Kenma kept sneaking glances at his sister and then back to Kuroo. Even though they were acting like everything was ok, he knew that whatever they had talked about built a bigger rift between the two. He put his attention back to his game and began to wonder if things were ever going to go back to normal. He was interrupted from his thoughts by a plate of food being put in his face. He looked up to the {E/C} eyes of his sister, who had a soft smile on her face.

“Here, eat.” She pleaded sitting next to him, a plate of food for her as well. He paused the game taking the plate, while looking at her.

“Are you ok?” he questioned. “When you came back from talking with Kuroo your eyes were misty, like you had been crying. What happened between the two of you?” She looked down at her feet before ruffling his hair.

“I'm not ok, but I will be don't worry.” She gave him a small smile. As she went back to eating Kenma figured that she was not going to answer his other question. Looking over at where Hinata was talking to Kuroo and Bokuto, he noticed that Bokuto was glancing over at his sister every once in a while. He figured that it was to make sure she was doing ok. He had been the one to deal with drunk {Y/N} after all. He was drug out of his thoughts by his sister once again.

“Anyway, I'm gonna go save Yachi from the crowd. Eat Kenma.” He watched her interact with the young manager, her smile wasn't forced like when she had returned earlier. Yachi bowed to her in thanks, but {Y/N} just waved her off. It was then he realized, that she hadn't been ok for a while.

It was later in the evening and the boys were packing up their belongings getting ready to leave. The rest of the Nekoma boys had headed down to the bus, leaving Kuroo and Kenma to grab their things. Kenma turned to his friend and saw the dejected look on his face. In the group setting he could laugh and pretend that he wasn't hurt, but with just Kenma he let his guard down. Kuroo saw Kenma looking at him and sighed.

“She’s done with me officially. I don't think I can fix this anymore Kenma.” The younger boys eyes widened. He wasn't expecting Kuroo to actually tell him. “I broke her trust then lied to Akemi about who she was to me because I wanted to be selfish. She heard me say she was only a sister to me, but that wasn't true at all. She was more, but I was too scared about what people would say to do anything about it. I broke her, and it hurts to know I can't help her.” Kuroo quickly wiped the tears that came down his cheeks. Kenma was shocked, he had never really seen the taller male cry before, but was even more shocked at his words.

Kenma wasn't blind to what happened last summer, but he never wanted to bring it up for fear that a fight would happen. He sighed and gave Kuroo a pat on the back before grabbing his bag and heading towards the door. Kuroo turned to look at him, slinging his own bag on his shoulder.

“For the record, the team was rooting for you two.” Hazel orbs widened, “We all thought you'd end up together. Give her more time. You might not get her the way you want to, but I believe you can be friends again.” He continued while walking out the door. He rushed out the door to follow Kenma down to the bus. Not today, but one day he would make this right. As the two boys got down there he saw Bokuto and {Y/N} standing together laughing. Kuroo realized that even though he broke her, Bokuto would fix her. He gave the two a small smile before getting on the bus.

{Y/N} smiled at the owl haired man before her. He was pouting because he wouldn't be able to see her for a while. He complained that he barely got to spend time with her, even though she had pointed out that it was a volleyball training camp.

“You do know you have my phone number right?” She asked the taller man. This just caused him to pout more, in turn causing her to laugh harder. Bokuto perked up at the sound. He loved the melodic sound and it made him smile a bit, but he went back to pouting to keep the ruse going.

“Its not the same as seeing you in person you know.” He grumbled turning his face away. If she had seen the blush on his face he'd never live it down. She glanced up at him one final time after hearing the coaches call for the students.

“Hey Bo,” she began getting his attention back on her, “When you qualify for nationals, I'll take you out to for yakiniku.” She said with a bright smile on her face. The blush came right back to his face, but he noticed that she had one as well. He returned the smile with a bigger one of his own. Without even thinking he pulled the smaller girl into a hug. It startled the girl before she relaxed and hugged him back.

“I'd like that.” He whispered in her ear before letting her go. They both headed to their own buses with smiles. Once she got on the bus she took her spot next to Kenma, humming a small tune. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes. He saw her content face and small smile. She was happy. He turned and locked eyes with Kuroo, who also noticed the change in the girl. It broke his heart to know that someone else was taking his place, but it was all his fault. Pulling out his phone he sent a quick text before shutting it off.

Kuroo: Take care of her. Don't make her cry like I did.

Taglist: @samkysnks @aurorahoneybuns

#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #bokuto koutarou x reader #bokuto x reader #kenma kozume x sister reader #reader insert fanfiction

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imnotgrimimjustagrumpyreaper · 3 years

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So back in the day I was really close with my uncle B he spent a lot of time with me as a baby as he was my dad's youngest sibling and hadn't moved out of my grandparent's house yet, so he helped to take care of me while my parents and grandparents were at work. He taught me how to draw when I was a little older and has always been the only one who hasn't made me feel like a total outsider in my own family because I've always been the only kid of the bunch so I kinda got treated like an annoyance and the reason nobody could watch The Simpsons. Needless to say I really love my uncle even if we've grown apart a lot as I've gotten older. So its not one of those situations where I barely know the relative My uncle B has been dating a woman, M, for 6 years and only recently let it slip BY ACCIDENT to his own mom. My uncle B has always been private but this took it to a whole new level. It was a good while after that when he finally screwed up at family dinner and mentioned M so now everybody knows but its still on shaky ground. I work at a barn and have worked at this barn for two years now. One of the boarders at the barn is J and her daughter who's like 10, E. Keep in mind I'm 18 a whole 8 years older than her daughter, I've only met them a few times and its always been what I've considered a customer employee relationship. And between you me and the fence post J has always rubbed me the wrong way. Fast forward to about four weeks ago. I'm at my grandparents house on Sunday (the gathering place of weekly family dinner) of all places and I get a call from E. (The only reason I had it was because her mom liked to insist we were friends, we were not). Thinking something might be wrong with their horse I answer. Uncle B had shown M a family picture and M had posted it on her facebook. J is M's best friend and when she'd seen the picture she'd recognized me and flipped out. Huh, funny that, what a small world and all that right? Fast forward again to about two weeks ago. Its Sunday, its like 5 pm, I'm in my room goofing off and I get a text from a number I don't recognize. Its J. A grown ass woman I don't really like and barely know. She says she needs my insanely private uncle's number, "Its a surprise for M" no further details than that. I panic a little and decide to put off responding for later. I end up putting it out of my mind a little too well and at 10 o'clock at night this woman fucking calls me. I panic and text her back that I absolutely do not feel comfortable giving my uncle's number out to anyone. She says ok, but insists I text him immediately and give him her number. The first text I ever send to my uncle is "Hi, I'm so sorry about this, J, asked texted me and asked me to give you her number, she says its a surprise for M." One more fast forward to yesterday. I'd pretty much forgotten about the incident. My uncle B proposed to M. My mom and dad start joking about meeting M at the wedding, that is if we're even invited. I joke along too. But now I'm left to wonder if I played the tiniest part in his proposal. OH FUCKING WELL. Wonder if we'll be invited to the wedding :)?

(also I didn't know where to include this but my grandmother apparently stalked the woman and found out where her house was after he told her??? I feel his pain about not wanting to tell us or let her meet us fhakjfnk like jesus christ, grandma).

#the word of grim #vent post #family bullshit

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writingasawayofliving · 3 years

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ACCEPTANCE AND LETTING GO!

BY: ELIZON CAMANGYAN

Michelle is a sweet, lovely, and intelligent young lady with a brother named John lester . They are extremely close, and he is her savior, especially when they are children. Her brother is very protective of her and will not allow any boys to talk to her. Her parents advised us to keep an eye out for each other because they are happy together. Both of them were free of favoritism. Until this strange sensation, everything was perfect and amazing; everything was shifting, and nothing was in its proper place.

Brother, can we go home together later? Yes, youngest, I promise we'll go together. OK brother, thank you very much, and by the way, brother, , my classmates have arrived. Guys, krisan, Joanna, and Arjelyn John Lester is my older brother. As a result, we went first. Later on. Michelle is your older brother, by the way. I like him because he's cute, but he's also tall.

By the way, do you guys have a creative writing assignment? Concerning essay writing. Yes, I have already done so. But I'll take the lead because my brother and I are currently on our way home together.

Where are you, brother? It's 6 p.m., and you haven't returned. I've texted and called hundreds of times, but you haven't returned my calls or texts. Hey, you haven't picked me up yet, and by the way, my name is Alfred, and I'd like to be with you. Anyway, I appreciate it. It's night, you're certain. Now let's get started. Okay.

Thank you, Alfred, I'm sorry, youngest, but since I did it, I'm going to forget to bring you together a lot. I have to complete it. I'll be ahead of the two of you. Thank you, sir. We'll talk again tomorrow! Thank you once more.

What was the man's reason for delivering you? You might simply take a taxi. Wow, you said you'd bring me along. I waited for school for a few hours. My older brother, John Lester, did not show up. It's fortunate that Alfred joined me so that I can return home. Did you consider me? If only I had returned home. I'm sorry, I won't do it again, just don't get in Alfred's car. Sorry as well, buddy.

Brother I'll just be seeing my classmates. Okay, Michelle . Can you guys assist me? My older brother's birthday is on Saturday, and I'd like to surprise him. Hello, Michelle. Oh my gosh, Michelle, who is he? On the other side, the attractive. Since my brother forgot to pick me up, he was the one who delivered me last night. Have you eaten, Alfred? If you want to be with us? I'm finished now. And if you aren't done yet. And if you're starving. Are you starving? Let's get some food. Oh my god Michelle, your brother has arrived; why is he with you, Youngest? I warned you not to speak with him.

Let us have a discussion outside. What exactly is it that we're doing wrong, Michelle? I'll say thank him for driving me home. Alfred likes you, don't you see? What is it about that place that makes it so bad? If he enjoys my company. He is a gentleman. Okay, you manage your own affairs. You're not interested in hearing what I'm saying. Sorry!

Guys, please assist me; tomorrow is my brother's birthday. I need to catch him off guard. Come along with me to the festival mall to purchase a gift. Okay, we'll meet you at the festival mall. Guys, let's get

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started. Thank you. Let's go, I'm going to buy him a Gucci three-piece of t-shirts, Please join me in my quest. Okay, that's it. Michelle What is the age of your older brother? Tomorrow is his 22nd birthday. Oh my god He is accompanied by a lovely lady. She is attractive and tall. She is a transgender woman, not a girl . But you're implying that your brother is bisexual? I don’t know. I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way when my brother is dating someone else. Why am I so envious? This is incorrect.

Michelle, you've arrived. What have you been up to? Have you had your meal yet? Where did you come from, brother? Computer shop I'm just curious as to why. Because I saw you with your hands still held by a lady. What is the name of that girl? Is she your girlfriend at the moment? Or But it's possible that you won't take me home with you because someone else has brought you something. Brother, speak up so I can figure out what's wrong with me.

You're curious as to why this is. Michelle, I love you more than my sister, and I regard you as such. So I'm jealous every time you and Alfred are together. I just want to be with you. I really want you to be thinking all the time! I'm just interested in you. Is it possible for you to give it to me? Perhaps it isn't because I am your brother. I'm sorry, but I have the same feelings about you. I was envious when I first saw you, girl. Brother, I adore you as well.

I'm currently planning for a surprise for my brother. John Lester, have a wonderful birthday!!! You have now reached the age of 22. I wish good health and have lived a long time.

Brother how If they know dad and mom our relationship what will we do. What we children should know. Dad, Michelle and I are official couple . Don't you know what you're thinking. You're siblings. But dad we love. We love each other. Dad what is happening to you. Brother, dad can't breathe, call an ambulance. Hurry up,

Dad died of heart disease a few months ago. I told my brother that we should call it quits on our relationship. I don't want us to come to a halt. Michelle, I will always love you. When you forget me, I'm going to commit suicide. I can't bear the thought of losing you to me. Michelle, don't abandon me. There are a lot of people who don't like our friendship. We are brothers, and Dad is right. We would be dissatisfied.

Mom, I'm sorry for what my brother and I did, but I think I just need to avoid my brother for a while so he forgets about me. Michelle, I know it's difficult for you to make the decision, but have you decided to go to America to pursue your studies? I'm not upset with your relationship with your older brother, but the two of you are going to have a difficult time. So, as long as you're happy, I'll back you up.

I cried my way to church because I was in such a mess. I was at a loss for what to do. When I leave here, I hope my brother John Lester understands why I’m going. Why are you crying, Michelle? You dry your face with this handkerchief. You're aware. If you’re having trouble, they say that “the road to true happiness is one of acceptance and letting go”.

I spoke with my older brother once more to make him realize that our relationship was not working. To persuade him that our relationship is only temporary. Thank you, Michelle, for reminding me that someone loves me no matter how I feel. Thank you for being there for me at all times. I adore you, my little one. When you leave for America, I hope you are cautious. Never, ever forget. Yes, take care of Mom here, brother. I love you!

After a few years, I received no news from my older brother, and I moved to America, where I married. To tell you the truth, it was my husband who gave me the handkerchief. Yes, Alfred, I am glad I married him, and we have two sons together.

#writers #short story #self love

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mikkock · 4 years

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Hey hi your murder mystery art is super totally cool and amazing and I'd like to Extra! Extra! hear all about it *rattles bells*

haha wow i cant believe ud ask me THIS! unbelievable! now im gonna have to make a long post!

all info under the cut cause im kind like that ♥

For reasons I felt like making a Fancy Ass murder mystery story, with you know, hella complex secret storylines and everyone having drama and shit, and one person died but the more the story goes the less people care about who did the murder and the more they want tHE JUICY DETAILs. X and Y had an afFAIR you say!!! well that’s thousands time more interesting than that murder that happened, who cares about the culprit its not like any of us are going anywhere anyway! tell me more about the marital issues!

The ultimate Vibes are Clue (the game, ya kno, it had a movie too, and that movie was shot with three different endings -fun fact- so that movie theatres could play one alternatively that way people wouldnt get spoiled or even if they did they would not get the ending they were spoiled or even if all three were spoiled you couldnt know which ending you were getting anyway, big dick move, cause its an old movie and film is expensive, also that movie stupid and campy, ALSO I ONLY LEARNED MAKING THIS AU THAT IN ENGLISH THE GAME’S CALLED “CLUE” wE CALL IT CLUEDO therefore my wip playlist is called cluedo. because. fuck it.)(i just have an emotional attachment to that game i even had a cd rom video game version and it was the spookiest shit for a 6 years old, trust me, i played it so much tho i didnt even understand the rULES i was just making scenarios like gathering the characters in rooms n making conversations outloud cause honestly the banter is the best part of a murder mystery) ANYWAY that sure is a whole paragraph of tangent.

BUT YE the inspo from the Clue game. you can tell it from the Colours obviously, everyone’s colour codded.(even everyone’s name is colours as well you’ll see it’s real dang fancy! im just remaking that game but with 2932020 characters and more behind the scenes drama and also for gay people.)

So BASIC PLOT!

Sir Belyy, the dude in white, is The Rich Powerful Respected Fancy Boss, and he throws a Fancy Reception Party with his closest friends and associates to celebrate the opening of a new branch of his business. All the lads gather in his wonderful little very isolated mansion in the middle of nowhere, like ok he got a death wish or something or he’s very trusting of his business partners, but not a good move, cause in the middle of the reception, as A Phat Storm Starts (for plot convenience, we going with a campy vibe if you couldnt tell), his body is found, it’s awful, there’s a killer on the loose! All the guests gather, and attempt to maybe contact the authorities, to not avail, since The Storm ya know, phone lines are Broken my dude. Its clear that the culprit is among them, since no one could have entered the house, or left it (cuz once again, ThE sTORm). And then it’s all about interrogating each other, distrust, alliances and betrayal, revealing one’s deepest secrets when they form an alibi and revealing someone else’s deepest secret for they could be a motive! Meanwhile there’s a dead body in the mansion just chillin there.

So as I mentioned, I changed everyone’s name to be colour related (or ya know, food or flowers of that colour cause sometimes a colour in a language would not work as a name given the way names work in that culture all that jazz) which is the trippiest thing cause tHATS NOT YALLS USUAL NAMES but its fun (also changed so many ages hgfhs it was a trip)(still no one’s really old i guess i got boomerphobia). The “Cast” is clearly the most important part, and if ur a True “My OCs” Connaisseur (hdfghd the most useful skill to have, knowing *MY* Charactersdshgd) you may have recognised some faces and can already read some vibes and predict who will be progressing the plot and who will be yelling at people throwing accusations ghdfgd.

(god i wish i hadnt slacked off making the portraits of everyone in that AU i only have 3 tho that’s so sad so ill just make little sketches just cause <3 only text??? i got too many hoes with no attention span for that)

Sir BELYY (the one who dIEs lmao)

(bust shot missing the fact that this man is the tallest beefiest lad around)

Intimidating, powerful, composed, wealthy, carries the name of a family who has generations of control to it’s reputation, he’s The Man that hoes who believe in the economy wishes they were. As in, the “self made” man who only just happened to benefit from having a wealthy background to uplift his plans. In his youth, he wanted to prove his worth, seperated himself from his father, started a business, that business became big, then got attached to the family’s business, bam back to square one but with Reputation now. There seemed to be VERY big tension between him and The Father, some speculate it had to do with his unknown mother, and some family drama there, and it never got resolved as old man Belyy died quite young (the jUICY speculations are that current sir Belyy mURDEREd old man sir Belyy, fucked up if true!). People love him though in general, as he has that reputation of “Cold Lad With a Gold Heart” aka he takes people under his wings, donates, doesnt treat his employees like the absolute worst garbage etc... you know, he’s rich and a half decent person, so obviously he’s an angel on earth. But does it matter though, he’s dead! that’s the concept of the story!

Mr.GRAY (the grey guest)(who could have guessed from the name)

He’s one of Sir Belyy’s oldest employees, and benefits from a high rank in the company. But, sadly for him, he’s been stagnating lately, as newer, youngest employees seem to have Belyy’s favours, and are his prefered associates for important tasks and positions. Therefore he has Some Bitterness, Some Salt, Some Distaste, some unbriddled but professionally muted hatred for Specific people in the company. He can be an antagonistic figure, but the amount of time he spent in Belyy’s circle grants him an immense quantity of information about the man, but mostly, about his business. Anything about the company’s history, dealings, operations, he’s aware of, either having been told of them, or having snooped around to obtain, immune to being questioned due to his legitimacy in the company.

Mr.LIM (the green guest)

Remember when it was said that Gray had beef with some employees cause they were younger and rose to high ranks faster than him and became Belyy’s favourite over him? Yeah well here comes the one he hates the most for that (ofc he’s belyys fave cuz he’s Mine <3) Our lad caught Belyy’s attention for his Exploits in like, em fancy high school tournaments of smart people, it’s a thing its ridiculous, making kids compete on Smart stuff for the pride of their schools n shit, well homie Lim got clout when doing that, and Belyy was extremely interested cause that kid’s main thing was how “this young lad got mad strategic skills tf are u a war general or smth how fancy”, and that’s a coveted skill for ruthless business. So as soon as the kid is an adult, bam, join the company my dude. And because he’s just that Cool n Sexy ofc he met the expectations Belyy had, and old man Belyy got attached cuz it do be such a young lad, a kid, mentally i am adopting. That’s how you get a youngas employee becoming the right hand man of one the phatest CEO in a few years, and even make your way into being a Good Lad on top of a business partner. And that’s how you get Gray to hate your ass too. Now though, fine lad with mad strategic skills, rising to power that fast, and even infiltrating Belyy’s private life? If I were Gray I’d call suspicion there’s surely some shady stuff going no way we’re just dealing with a nice fella who just happens to work good and be friendly to the boss right?

Herra MUSTA (the black “guest”)

Belyy’s newest butler, assistant, house keeper, he multitasks. His family has been tied to Belyy’s for generations, fullfilling roles of help, but also of confidents. He’s been the head butler since only a short time, after his mother passed, and as such is still “in training” you could say, despite having served the family his whole life. There are rumours going around that the contract tying his family to the Belyys may end on his generation and need to be resigned. He known the manor by heart, and carries all keys to any locked room (and mostly, The Master Key, cause in an old house, some doors may be locked beyond all still existing keys). He also knows secrets of the family that no one else knows, but good luck getting em out of him, he’s under contract not to divulge em bro.

Mr. HASSEL (the brown guest)

Belyy’s childhood friend. They grew up together, pictured their dreams together, sworn to flourish together, worked together when starting the company, and then Hassel felt he should create his own thing instead of depending on his friend’s existing wealth, and while Belyy’s business went wild, his never took off. They still stayed very close, despite the massive difference in wealth. Belyy considers him his closest friend, the one person he can trust (fucked if hassel did the murder lemme tell u). So of course, he’s still always invited to the Prestigious meet ups where’s he’s free to feel uncomfortably out of place amongst all the rich and powerful people that he could have been a part of had he had a tiny bit of luck and a small loan from a wealthy relative...People LOVE saying he’s still hanging out with Belyy so much to leech off his wealth, cause of course they do! His bestie status means he has a whole different brand of information of Belyy than his butler does, the Most Intimate Stuff, the Childhood Stuff. The Juicy stuff ya kno...But Bro Code, its all secrets...

Sir RUZH (the red “guest”)

Deep dive into Belyy’s personnal history, the man has many employees working at his house keeping it working, clean, ya know the vibe. They live on the premice, one has a kid who’s just a Joy to be around, all the employees just vibe with that lad, he’s just a born socialite you know? Belyy gets to meet the kid, and also hella vibes with him. And because human are influenced by their feelings, he gives the kid’s mum a bit of a preferencial treatment, in the tasks she fullfils and all, til he gives her an important-as mission, and then there’s an accident n mama dies, and now Belyy got guilt and there’s this kid who just Vibes. So naturally the move is to take the kid in, and play on how his vibes are just so clean, and raise him to be the Perfect Entertainer for guests, bam, its soft power propaganda, if everyone loves your now son’s vibes, they associate them with you too. And also that’s kind of a clean rep, the selfless man who adopted his employee’s son to not have him fall to the streets, how heartwarming. Not at all traumatising for the kid too I bet! But anyway now the lad is just the most charming young adult, mission accomplished. He’s always present at any reception, ready to work his people-pleasing magic, and then going back to a gigantic empty manor to wait for the next and curate the perfect vibes to meet the expectations of dad. On the plus side, he knows everyone, and those who don’t know him cannot wAIT to, he’s just got that aura ya know. People skills for miles, and the insider knowledge that comes with being the son of the CEO, all this hidden behind the personna of the fresh innocent bashful party lad.

Dr.FEN (the pink guest)

Do not get mistaken by the title, he’s no doc, he will not diagnose you with anything, he just studied long enough to get the sexy title. Study in what? Haha. Nothing shady. Just toxicology. He’s a world reknown poison expert basically, that’s his main thing. Oh but don’t worry, of course studying substances that may kill people is only for finding out how to cure them from it of course. What brings him in this circle? Simple, Belyy may or may not have started to suffer some weird illness that no doctor has been able to find the source, let alone cure, of. Him and Dr.Fen had met previously on some event, cause some rich man also love flexing how smart they are and attending sciencey shit, and he was contacted as sort of a shot in the dark. The lad does know how to treat some things, maybe he can treat The Mysterious Unwellness, since no traditional doctor was able to. He knows science, he’s trustworthy, bam, you’re hired to work on My Case Exclusively. Thanks to this, Dr.Fen has access to the whole health history of Belyy and his family, to many mANY dangerous substances, and also has The Respect of the hoes at the party. He HAS a doctorate after all. Epitome of knowledge. And he’s a kind to people and he wears pink like dang how can you nOT pour your wHOLE trust in him.

Sir MOREVITCH (the blue guest)

Youngest son of an affluent family, who used to be close the the Belyys. The two families fell slightly appart after the death of the previous head of the family on the Belyy side, as they do nOT vibe with the current one (well current, til the first night of the story ig). But, unbeknownst to all, one strong link had been kept, between the youngest of the Morevitch, who dislikes his family and wishes to emancipate himself from them while also assuring his depart will not throw him basically in the streets, and our beloved Sir Belyy, who also dislikes the Morevitches but loves to see the rebellious energy of the young one (and ya know, my enemy’s enemy’s my friend or however you say that). So Belyy’s basically offering tips and helping Morevitch plant himself safely out of his family’s grasp, but it’s all taking quite some time isn’t it, slow and steady is fine until your parents try to arrange a wedding to secure more political power, and suddenly it is all quite urgent that you escape that situation because No Thank You Parents I Do Not Want A Wife I’m Too Young And Also Huh <3 Stuff You Won’t Like Hearing For Sure <3. The people who know they’re working together also know that it’s a big point of argument between them, the difference in vision between “you have to go slow and steady to be safe” and “I have very limited time to get to that safety anyway so I gotta risk it” “hell no you cant i can’t follow through if we’re going that quick that’ll put me at risk and you’re family’s gonna send gunmen to take me down”. A mess, it’d be much quicker to just obtain a few million bucks out of nowhere and bolt for sure...

Mr.GANG (the orange guest)

Morevitch’s trusted assistant. He hears the concerns, he helps the secret businesses, he lies to the parents about the whereabouts, and mostly, he’s basically a budget spy. The lad got that talent where people just don’t notice him popping behind them and catching all their dirty laundry as they confess it to someone they trust, and he always manages to break into places, get the intel he was looking for, and escape, putting everything back into place as if no one was ever there (wonder where he got all those skills from damn!). But what he’s even better at is being sneaky not only to benefit his boss, but himself as well <3. If he can catch all the info in the world, go any places, nothing’s stopping him from playing double agent and also going behind Morevitch’s back. After all the assistant life isn’t the most glamourous and rewarding, who can blame him from going and using his talents to build his own little exit route, right? Everybody sort of knows he cannot be trusted, but also no one managed to really incriminate or stop him, and as much as he has tea on many people, no has it on him, but bet once found that would be heeeella juicy.

M.MOUTARDE (the yellow guest)(this one is straight up the name of the yellow player in the french edition of clue too when i say its my main vibe)

Moutarde was an influential celebrity. He had a big break acting in a movie that the whole country stanned so hard they basically turned the script into their national anthem (they would have if it was a true democracy where the people really decide), he was so handsome and elegant, everyone’s dream husband. And then the fame fiddled out because it’s how fame is, one moment you’re the sexiest dish on the table and the next someone brings in dessert and baam, its all about that fresh cake, and no one pays any mind to your delightful aroma anymore, you’ve gone cold, they had a bite, their interest is somewhere else. Belyy really admires his work though, and mostly finds his image fits with the brand of his company, therefore the two are working on a collaboration to make Moutarde a representative. This WOULD boost Moutarde’s reputation, for his ads would be displayed on every imaginable surface of the country, and it would also benefit the company cause being represented by thAT sexy motherfucker? clearly that’s a deal. The freshness of the partnership means Moutarde is a newcomer in the guests, a fresh face, with no reputation, no relationships, no unfair biases against him. He’s just the new handsome charismatic lad with a squeaky clean image. Emphasis on “image”. After all, no one really knows anything of his background, right?

Kun.LAWENDER (the purple guest)

Private investigator, very useful to be around at a party it’s almost like it was expected there’d be a body to investigate, he’s a very close associate of Belyy, as there’s nothing more important to business than investigating the rivals and finding dirt on them to make them fall through infamy. He’s not exactly the PI who goes look for justice to be served, he’s just here for cash bro. He’s got intel on everyone, and will only let it out if offered the right thing in return (money, or sometimes other pieces of very secret intel, trade is good). Wouldn’t advise letting him and Gang team up tbh but they probably wouldnt, as Lawender is really more of a lone wolf player, going on his own for himself. The one thing that negates his usefulness as a PI on an accidental crime of scene is that even if he knew the whole truth of the event he would not spit it out unless he benefitted from saying it. He sure is a polarising lad, but at the same time, an untouchable one, he’s too knowledgeable to be taken down. Rather than sneaky, he’s extremely observant, noticing the tiniest details and engraving them in his memory, ready to be linked up to other details to deduct the big picture. He’s the upfront tea gathered basically (as opposed to Gang’s shadow tea gathering if you will, they are similar forces but using opposite methods)(also one of em got a licence n the other does not hAH).

~~~~

Now the secrets, all of em have them. One of em at least got the secret of having KILLED Belyy that’s that. But that’s to be kept for later (for if i ever use this story for more than daydream material gfhjgh) bet you can imagine what some of em may be just out of Knowing what i do, from having seen the characters in other contexts, or just because you’re a genius and reading the character profiles immediatly lit up the bulbs in your head forming the perfect theory, props to you, mad genius.

Honestly my thoughts are just how lit of a game that would be, you get to pick one hoe (maybe sum are locked til u find their secrets for juicy purposes) and you do your invetigation using your character’s perks and disadvantages, and maybe there could even be Multiple scenarios and outcomes, to spice it up, give replay value, i just think it’d be a game id spend hours on. tryin to get the spicy details of everyone’s life. walking around n digging through a rich man’s stuff, witnessing the drAMA of people fighting cause they’re locked in with a murderer and that’s stressful ngl. That or a long ass show @ netflix wanna give me a show maybe? give me hella budget we’re making it animated cause im too cultured for live action.

whatever i make of it though, i hope i can make this story Flourish, just so that i can lay down all those secret backstories i’ve written. i want the satisfaction of throwing out the craziest secret drama between character n seeing peeps loose their minds, it just is a tasty experience.

also i gotta say, i plug the hell out of Clue for an inspo but when i was building the basics of the story my mind immediatly went “oH MY GOD THE VIBES,, THE BACKSTABBING AND tEAMING UP and all,,, its The Genius, that one tv show where peeps have to do the wildest games that require strategy n they’re in that fancy set that looks like a rich ppl mansion oh god the vibes” so yeah, i rewatched the whole first two seasons cause they’re my faves and that had an impact if only minimal in the aesthetic.

Anyway hope that quick presentation gave you a lil taste of the story, and maybe,,,, got you curious,,, craving to learn more like you never did before (im exaggerating the only real question we all got is just “so who’s fuckin with whom then how many of yall secretly dating” this the real deal)

#doodlin every lad's face at one rly be like 'welcome to the cheekbone festival'#they got antti AND said at once like the cheekbonage is out of this world!#that's musta n gang btw #also every single time i draw cream (blue lad) im like 'i havent drawn u in ages' n it isnt #that i dont draw him much anymore #but that ive drawn only this bitch for months back in the days #him bein in this without his lover....criminal #cuz his boo wouldnt fit a murder mystery au like #hoes would find the corpse he'd just be like 'welp on that imma go to bed aight bye'#anyway u can tell which of my ocs i simp for v easely #like fr #they the ones i spend the longest drawfigfdj cuz i draw em n then go 'not hot enough do it again'#a struggle!#anyway the secret is that i prepares a motive AND an alibi for all of em #so that i can pick who murdered belyy at the last moment <3 #its all abt the contextual clues on the scene of crime <3 #none of the drama tells u anything its all for the treat of gossip <3 #sad part of this project is how much ive planned n written yet i can barely tell anythin if i want to make it #n ive drawn nothingbhd #i hav a dari n a weiwei in their coloured clothes lookin handsome cuz ofc i do #im predictable i have faves #ask if they're in love in this one too take a fuckin guess #u rly think hoe going to his boss's house so much to see the ceo ???? HAH #the real question isnt if theyre smooshin we all kno that answer the question is if dad white suit knows thATs whats important #are yall secret lovers or is green boy climbing the ladder of the company cuz he's smashing the boss's son #who knows #i do i aint telling pay me

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elusive---ivory · 4 years

Text

The Woman in Velvet pt. 7

This was tiring.., but it's here! Hooray!! I appreciate my bestfriend @princessgeekface for being my editor, please go check her out she really rules!!

Without a further ado.

PAIRING: Arthur Fleck x Oc

WARNINGS: Mentions of abuse, Self Inflicted Pain.

Taglist:

@gloomybih @princessgeekface @mijachula @memory-mortis

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

"Well as of right now, Mr. Wayne, I think we can close a deal." The man in the large black suit said over the telephone. "I'm sure she'd be happy to perform. How about next Tuesday? Great! I'll see you then." The man promptly hung up the phone.

The little girl sat in the far corner of the room.

"Good news, sweetheart. You're preforming for Thomas Wayne." The man said to the girl.

The girl's cheeks were red, and her eyes were puffy. Her lips were busted and bruised. She whimpered in the corner. "Great." She whispered to herself.

"You should smile, my dear. It's wonderful news." He walked closer to her. "I love you."

The girl turned away. "No, you don't." She growled.

"What was that?" The man walked up to her with a firing rage.

"You don't love me, Uncle Charlie. If you did, I won't play in these stupid shows." She got off her knees, shaking.

"You quit with this attitude, young lady." He hissed, grabbing onto her shoulders.

"I'm 16 years old, Charlie." She yelled. "Stop controlling my life."

Smack.

"Listen here, I've tried to be nice to you, but you really leave me no choice. Be a good girl, Sandy, and I'll reward you." The man gripped on tight to her large waist.

She pushed him off. "You can't do this to me. Just let me go." The girl screamed.

The man grabbed her by the throat. "Listen here, you fucking bitch. You're not going anywhere as long as I am still alive." He let go of her throat.

She fell to the ground coughing.

"Besides, Sandy, you're useless without me. Completely worthless."

'10:30 am? I guess it could be worse.' She slumped out of her bed, and headed to the kitchen. Sandy couldn't stop thinking about Arthur, and their little date. She didn't know why she was so heads over heels for this boy.

Sandy woke up in a cold sweat. 'Thank fuck that today's my day off.' She thought to herself. Sandy looked over at the clock.

Sandy smiled while stirring her coffee. She sighed dreamily like a schoolgirl, and pressed the button on her answering machine.

"You have (2) new messages." The autonomous voice said.

"Voicemail 1:

Hey, Sandy, It's me, Arthur. I'm heading to Wayne Manor today, and I've got some exciting news." His voice got closer to the phone. "Thomas Wayne is my dad."

Sandy eyes widened. She choked a little on her coffee. 'He's joking, right?' Sandy set her coffee down, and rubbed her temples. "Ugh, damn it, Art." She mumbled to herself.

Meanwhile the answering machine started playing the 2nd message.

"Voicemail 2:

Hello, is this the phone number of Sandy Dolere? I regret to inform that your uncle, Charles Paul Harris, has passed away as of last week. He was suffering from heart failure, and he was scheduled for an operation in December. Charles died in his sleep from natural causes. When you get the chance, please call us back at 467-286-7789."

Sandy looked at the machine. Her hand hovered over the delete button. Softly, she moved her hand and fell to the kitchen floor. Her loud sobs could be heard throughout the complex.

Her coffee mug was shatter with spilled brown liquid all over the floor. Sandy reached over the counter, taking a pack of cigarettes from of the counter. Gently, she placed in in her mouth, laying there on the floor. Sandy got up, finding herself a lighter. She looked over to the bottle of whiskey in the open cabinet. She turned away from it, lighting her cigarette. As Sandy took a long peaceful drag from the cigarette, she exhaled into the dreary morning. She took the cigarette out of her mouth and looked down at her bare arm. Sandy jammed the burning cigarette into her porcelain skin. Tears formed in her eyes as the ashes and blood dripped down her arm. She took the cigarette off and looked at the whole in her arm.

"Fuck." Sandy whispered, throwing her cigarette away. She went over to the bathroom to wash all the blood and sorrow away. She laid there in the bathtub. Hot water flowed out the faucet. She ducked her head under the water, holding in her breath. Whilst she was in her thoughts, she heard a knock at the door.

Quickly, she jumped out of the tub, and put on her lime green robe, usually she expected Arthur to drop by with a quick kiss or so, but to her surprise, it was two detectives in black.

"Good Afternoon, Ms. Dolere. I'm Detective Gordon, and this is my partner Detective Johnson." The detective known as "Gordon" turned to his partner.

"We're looking into the murders that happened on the subway. As you may know they were Wayne employees, and one of them just so happened to be your co-worker, Dennis Cullen." Detective Johnson said, as he stepped inside her apartment. "Nice place." He commented.

"Thanks." Sandy mumbled under her breath. "If you could give me a second, gentleman, I just got out of the tub." Sandy disappeared into the other room, struggling to find clothes.

Detective Gordon sat down on the couch.

"No worries. We'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind." Sandy reentered the room, fully dressed. She sat on the couch, taking a deep breath. She eyed the two detectives up and down.

Detective Gordon shifted in his seat, while Detective Johnson took out a notepad. Both detectives sat across from Sandy, who looked pretty annoyed at them for just being there.

"Where were you on the night the subway murders happened?" Johnson asked, eyeing her reaction.

"I was at home watching the TV. I had a long day at work, and I was unwinding." Sandy replied.

"Right." said Detective Johnson, writing down on his notepad.

"We had asked around about your relationship with Dennis, and they said that you two had a 'thing'. Is this true?" Gordon asked, putting air quotes over the word 'thing'.

"I had no relationship with him. He was just an asshole around the office. He was also the guy to make the most sales, but I saw no reason why he should die." Sandy replied with a stoic look on her face.

"I see. We've been asking around the building and we wanted to ask about your relationship with Arthur Fleck. The neighbors say they've see you get quite close these past few weeks, is that true?" Gordon took the notepad from Johnson, and looked over the notes.

Sandy froze for a second, continuing her stoic face, but with a red tint placed on her cheeks. "I'd say that yes, we've gotten closer. He's very nice to me. He's passionate about his comedy career, and I support him fully."

"Uh-huh." Johnson mumbled. "Did you two have any sexual encounters with each other?"

Sandy blushed madly, taken aback by this information. "That's none of your business." She glared at Johnson, crossing her arms.

"Alright, thank you for your time, Ms. Dolere." Gordon got off the couch, shaking Sandy's hand. Johnson followed behind him.

"Have a good evening, gentlemen." Sandy closed her door. "For sweet hell, it's already evening?" She said to herself, looking outside on the horizon. Sandy looked down at her scarred arm. She stared at it for a good long while, almost as if she was mocking it. Sandy smirked.

"Poor, poor Dennis," She mocked, lighting another cigarette. She heard a loud bang coming from the apartment downstairs. Sandy extinguished the cigarette.

She ran out of her apartment, and pressed the button on the elevator. 'What the fuck?' Sandy's thoughts ran a muck. The elevator slowly closed its doors as Sandy pressed down on Arthur's floor.

She hurried to his apartment door. As Sandy rapidly knocked on the door, she heard Arthur's mother screaming.

"NO, NO. HE'S A GOOD BOY! A HAPPY BOY!!"

Sandy's eyes got wide as she heard the screams. She slammed all her weight into the door, but as it swung open, her head hit the ground.

"Ugh. Fuck." She hissed.

Right in front of her laid Penny Fleck's collapsed body.

"Ms. Dolere, are you alright?" Detective Gordon rushed over to Sandy, while Johnson was tending Penny.

"I'm fine. What about her? Call a god damn ambulance." Sandy pushed the detective out of her way to the phone. She quickly dialed 911.

Arthur saw the scene just as he got home. Everything was a mess. He rushed over to the ambulance. As Arthur got inside the vehicle, he glanced over to Sandy.

Sandy had questions, tons of questions, but she knew that now wasn't the best time for them. She went over to Detective Gordon.

"I need a ride to the hospital." Sandy wasn't asking.

Gordon sighed. "Ok, sure."

He pointed over to a black car, parked on the side of the road.

Sandy sat in the back seat, glaring at the two detectives threw their rear view windows.

As the detectives pulled up to the hospital, Sandy noticed Arthur sitting on a bench outside the hospital, smoking a cigarette.

Sandy got out of the car, but stayed near it to observe the situation.

"Arthur Fleck, I'm Detective Gordon, and this is my partner, Detective Johnson. We wanted to ask you a few questions, but you weren't home, so we asked your mother." Detective Gordon said.

Arthur looked up at him, scornfully. "Did you do this?" Arthur asked, griping tightly on his cigarette.

"Oh no, you see she was hyperventilating and acting all hysterical." Detective Johnson interjected.

"Yeah, the doctors said she had a stroke." Arthur said, bluntly.

"We're sorry to hear that," Gordon mumbled. "We still would like to ask a few questions about the subway killings. Have you heard of them?"

Sandy watched in the distance the whole thing play out. Of course, Arthur had a lot of stuff on his plate and these detectives weren't making matters better.

"Yeah, they're awful." Arthur muttered.

"Well, we talked to your boss from your old job. He says you were fired for bringing a gun in the children's hospital." Gordon stated.

"It was a prop. I'm a party clown." Arthur said, annoyed.

"Oh, yeah? Then why were you fired?" Detective Johnson asked.

"They said I wasn't funny enough. Can you imagine that?" Arthur scoffed. He got off the bench.

"Your boss gave us this card. This condition of yours. Is it real? Or is it a clown thing?"

"A clown thing?" Arthur repeated. He tossed the cigarette to the ground. "What do you think?"

Arthur ran into the hospital door.

The two detectives walked away.

"Hey." Sandy called.

Arthur turned to Sandy. He smiled gently at her. His blue/green eyes full of admiration.

"Hey." Arthur called back to her.

"You do know it says 'Exit' on it." Sandy pointed to the letters above the door.

"Yeah." Arthur hesitantly held onto Sandy's hand as they walked into the hospital.

#fanfic #joker arthur fleck #arthur fleck #arthur fleck x oc #arthur fleck x reader #joker film #joker 2019 #joker x reader #joker movie #joker x oc

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harrycook · 6 years

Text

June 12th 2018 was my 27th birthday.

Here are 27 things I feel like I have learnt about life so far:

1. Don’t Argue With Stupid People.

You get nowhere. It’s like playing scrabble with a dog, no matter how well you play, the dog will end up shitting on the board and walking away like he won anyway.

2. Eat The Damn Cake.

Yes I know that eating right and exercise is important for your health, but if you are in the vicinity of a cake or delicious bite of something, just eat it.

3. Working Is A Part Of Life, Not The Entirety Of Life.

Unless you adore what you do for a living and it is your pasison and life’s mission, take a deep breath and don’t take it all so seriously. At the end of the day, a job is to pay the bills and have pocket money to go and enjoy yourself when you’re not working. Unless you are genuinely passionate about your career, don’t sweat it. Don’t break your back worrying about a job that would replace you within a week if you dropped dead.

4. Don’t Take Anything Seriously, Seriously.

Unless you are performing open heart surgery or have the cure for cancer in your back pocket, lighten the fuck up. No matter what your job is, ask yourself if it will matter in 100 years? If not, giggle and let it go. The world won’t stop spinning if you miss a deadline or make a mistake. Breathe. It’s all good.

5. Ignorance Is A Choice.

Yes. It’s 2018. There is no excuse for ignorance or stupidity when we have more information on our phones than a public library. If you don’t understand something, research it. Pick up a book, scan the internet, question everything, especially the news. Be curious, ask questions and most of all, don’t be lazy. Educate yourself so the world can be full of kinder, more worldly individuals who know what they are talking about.

6. Throw Away Anything You Thought You Knew That Doesn’t Sit Well With Your Values.

We grow up in a society that feeds us garbage from the moment we enter the world. Boys are taught to be one way and girls are taught to be another. It’s a system that hasn’t changed in hundreds of years because society wants us to constantly keep within the mold. Screw that. Break the mold and let people be who they want to be. Go after a job you want, not what society wants for you. Travel, see the world, stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and go after the stuff that means something to you.

7. Laugh At Every Chance You Get.

Nothing beats a good belly laugh. Plus, it’s also extremely healthy. Laugh as often as you can. This goes straight back to the not taking anything seriously thing. Giggle more. It works wonders for the soul.

8. Get A Hobby.

The past year I have picked up the piano again (not literally 'picked it up', obviously, but started learning again), attempted to learn Spanish, set a goal of reading a book a fortnight (up to book 25) and started working out a minimum of three times a week. Each year older I start realising how quickly time goes and how many amazing things are at my disposal to learn or try.

9. Read The News, Then Read It Again, And Then Research Some More.

Don't take anything at face value. Just because the news tells you one thing, don't take it as gospel. These news shows are run by multibillionaire white men and corporations with agendas. Don't take it at face value. Look in to things. Read as much as you can and become your own private investigator for the truth. Just because a news show says something, doesn't make it fact.

10. Read More.

Nothing opens up the heart and mind more than a good book. The excuse of not having enough time to read doesn't cut it. Instead of watching an hour of Netflix, take an hour to open a good book. It's good for the soul. Trust me.

11. Get A Pet.

YASSSSSSS. Get a dog. Then get another dog. Then when you think you simply can't handle the amount of snuggles you are getting, get another dog!! In all seriousness, dogs are extremely good for your health. They reduce stress and anxiety, boost happiness and are wonderful snuggle buddies. Adopt don't shop! There are plenty of rescue animals in need of good homes.

12. Sometimes People Hurt You. It Sucks.

Yes. Sometimes the people you never in a bazillion years thought could hurt you, will hurt you terribly. I had an experience in recent years with extended family that completely shifted my entire outlook on people in general. Sadly, some of the people you think you know are far from what you think. It sucks, yes, but once you acknowledge it, it slowly stops hurting. You can move on with your life when you realise that sometimes a wake-up call is all you need to realise that you're better off without certain people in your life. And that's totally ok.

13. Log Off. Often.

The age of social media is WONDERFUL for so many reasons. Keeping in contact with people, viewing beautiful content, learning things with a click and the hours and hours of streamable content are all fantastic reasons to use social media. But on the flip side, it can also be an information overload and I highly advise switching off, taking a bath and leaving your phone somewhere away from you for a few hours. It can't be healthy getting a constant stream of negative news 24/7. So unplug. Those cute puppy pics will be there when you get back.

14. Exercise.

I know, I know, YUCK. Exercise isn't the most fun of activities, and I am the first to admit that whenever I heard someone say "but the endorphins are good for your happiness levels" I'd roll my eyes so far back in my head I could see my brain. But it's completely and utterly true. Just a 40 minute run 3 times a week has improved my mood ten fold. I've suffered with depression, anxiety and addiction for years, but exercise allows me to completely refresh and enjoy the day on a belly full of endorphins. Do it for the feeling you get, not to achieve some unattainable body. It works a treat. Trust me.

15. Napping Is AMAZING.

Yes. Napping is one of the best damn things to do. Nothing beats an afternoon nap. It refreshes you for the rest of the day and is a great way to reboot the system. Don't let people tell you otherwise. It's bloody fantastic.

16. Journal.

I've written a journal since I was ten years old and looking back on all the adventures, worries, achievements and memories throughout the years is something I cherish so incredibly much. Studies have shown that journalling is really healthy for the mind and soul. Grab a notebook and get doodling.

17. Take Photos.

If taking selfies is your thang, go for it. If taking pictures of trees, animals or the sunset gets you going, snap away. Taking photos is therapeutic for a number of reasons, but most of all it's a lovely way to document your life with things to look back on. Get snapping.

18. Never Think You Know It All.

It's easy to be arrogant when we are conditioned all our lives with things we are expected to believe. "Boys should do this", "girls should do that". But just because we've been taught it from a society that has never been challenged to think differently, doesn't make it right. Question everything. Stay curious. Look into things and don't dismiss stuff you know nothing about. Not only is it a really ugly personality trait, it gets you nowhere in life. Opening your mind and heart is a surefire way of experiencing life in all its' beauty.

19. Go After What You Want In Life.

Jim Carey did a graduation speech about his father who never went after his dreams because he wanted to do the ‘safe thing'. Have a 'stable' career that would provide for his family. From memory, his father failed and lost everything in his 'stable' career. The moral being that if you are going to fail at something, at least let it be something you love, because the fact is it is just as possible to fail at something you hate. Give it a go. Life is too short to not go after what you want.

20. Travel. Travel. Travel.

See the world. It'll show you that we humans are all the same. It replaces ignorance with knowledge and shows you how vast our planet is. Get out there.

21. Someone Who Is Nice To You But Not Nice To The Waiter Is Not A Nice Person.

I love this quote because it's so damn true. Don't be a dick to service people. Don't think you're better than anyone because you're not. End of story. Period.

22. Get Over Yourself.

Sort of a continuation of the above, this is just a reminder to get over yourself, have a giggle and realise that just because you have a fancy car, a nice suit or well manicured hands means absolutely sweet F.A. Being a good person, showing kindness, empathy and caring about the planet and human beings as a whole is what counts in my books. Just be a good person. It's that simple.

23. Tell Your Loved Ones You Love Them And Don’t Go To Bed Angry.

Pretty self explanatory this one, but all the same, something to remember constantly. Life is far too short to go to bed angry at someone. Throw away silly arguments and tell the people you care about how you feel.

24. Screw What People Think Of You.

I mean it. Who cares what someone else thinks of you? That's their stuff. How they perceive you and how they feel about you is none of your business. Water off a ducks' back. Let it go.

25. Try Not To Worry So Much.

I know. Easier said than done, but sometimes it helps to take a step back, take a deep breath in and ask a few key questions: Can I do anything to change the current situation? If yes, do it. If not, let it go. Breathe through it and remember all we ever have is right in this moment.

26. Meditate.

YASSSSSSSSS times a million. Meditating is one of the most powerful things I have ever learnt in my 27 years on this planet. Taking a moment to just sit and reflect and focus on the here and now is one of the most intensely wonderful ways of reconnecting to what matters. There are a million different apps you can use or simply sit and count your breaths. It works wonders.

27. Life is what you make it, but most of all it’s about love.

Love, family, friends and making memories is the most important thing in life. Every year on this earth I realise more and more how utterly stupid it is to worry about material things. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy material stuff whatsoever, but it shouldn't be what you go after in life. Nobody ever gets to the end of their life clutching on to their Chanel bag. The things that matter are the people you love and the memories you make.

So go for a walk, take in the view, have a laugh and breathe in every moment of every day. It's all we ever have.

- Harry.

#blog #blogger #life #lifeblog #blogs #read #writer #write #writing #truth #true #sotrue #lifelessons #too true #blogging #life blog #life lesson #lifestyle

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kyunsies · 3 years

Note

MADCH MADCH <3

hello fam - I've had a weird day, I'm super happy I can take the time out to reply to you. always thinking of you though, I hope you're always having a great day. today's been a bit of a non day - a family member has to deal with operations and that's on top of me too so i've just felt a bit winded in life?

YES to you finally conquering that damn cold! do you feel properly replenished now? omg i hate sore throats too - okay i hope this doesn't give you nightmares but when i was a kid i saw a documentary about this terrible disease that manifests at its worst a bit like alzhemiers but it can hit anyone of any age and for the majority of people who get it... one of the first symptoms is a sore throat and i have literally lived in terror of sore throats ever since. but luckily it's a very rare disease. so basically, yes, i understand you.

OMG you know when you're like eight and you don't want to sleep and you're like no i will adult and stay up and it will be glorious - i'm like, CHILD YOU FOOL you could have gone to sleep XD and ugh no responsibilities?! i remember working most of the time when i was a kid and i kind of wish i had wreaked havoc? what was your childhood like? did you get to do lots of fun stuff? i know my mum wishes she had been able to spend more time with me when i was a kid and i'd like to have a family and i'd love her to be able to relax and just spend time with her grandkids? OMG well when you come to europe let me know and then i can show you around and give you a hug in person!

so we're mainly cofe here though cahtolic culture is still big and honestly i'm with you. like religion can be a great influence on you if it's not used in nefarious ways and can help you learn so much - like even if there are things you don't end up agreeing with at least you learn about then so you can make a choice for yourself as opposed to not really knowing anything? agree - people that are really boastful totally put me off, i just can't deal with it at all. but you're right, like it makes us so so hard to forgive ourselves for anything right? like, even if we've done nothing wrong and we shouldn't have to punish ourselves? like i swear i'm apologising for everything haha XD once someone pushed me off the tube and i ended up apologising like ON REFLEX? hasjdkahds XD but i really hope you have people around you that keep bigging you up too! if not i will keep bigging you up :D :D so you know that you are worth it.

i'm sorry you're not looking forward to your final year of uni! think you're almost there though - like this is the final stretch and you'll have like conquered everest you know?! and even if your landing at the end of it isn't as perfect the fact you landed at all means so much and that means you can stand up again and keep going! day at a time and moment at a time you know? i kind of had this moment today (hence my wierd day) when i was worry about everything and i literally sat there like - have i made the right choice and done the right thing and surely i've made the wrong choices in my life and do i actually have any talent cause if not people would actually like my stuff and i had to just be like... a moment at a time sometimes you know? like, just bit by bit and don't sweat the stuff you don't have to? idk i find it hard to do but i hope that helps you - like you'll surmount every little thing bit by bit and before you know it you'll have made it! you were born ready you were <3 <3

TINY SQUAD IS GO! the pant dilemma is truly a massive issue, like IDK how to deal OMG OK SO LAMPSHADING is like when you do big baggy like tops and then like leggings or tights or something skinny on the bottom so... you look like a lampshade? like i guess it makes you look cute and then also it's such an easy way to dress without worrying if you look like a kid that's wearing your mum's clothes?? ahsdjakdhsa XD

AHHHH YES BASIL ME TOO!! what scent did you end up buying? i'm sure it was lush - are your parents near you or is it like a massive special occassion to get to see them? YES agree with your take on musk though! like it feels like idk, something a 50 year old with a cigar in a stuffy country club would wear? like, there's no energy to it but not in a chill mellow way either??! like even if i was going to a dinner thing I would still rather not wear something musky? like i'd still rather it be something a bit sweeter? also like some musk perfumes can be SO STRONG? like i'm like - my nose is choking on this perfume XD

YES BLUE MOON SQUAD AAAAA it is literally one of their finest ever, it's always stayed on my top faves list by them. like ugh yes to the lofi stuff sometimes i just wanna VIBE and be in my feels but not so much i'm too angsty but enough that I'm FEELING feels ya know? what did you think of kiss or death? it really wasn't that kind of vibe but yh i hope they do more lofi jazzy stuff - also cause like not a lot of korean groups play with that sound a lot?

hello mädch's mom as always! nerer apologise for being late, always just happy to hear from you and i hope you are super super well and looking after yourself first and foremost! more than anything <3 (also i take ages to reply too ya know and omg this is so so long ahsdjakhdaskjdh)

love you lots and lots and lots xxxxxxxxxxxx

ANGEL ANGEL !!!!!!!! <3 i know i'm really late to this LKDFJS i've had such a busy week getting some overtime in and then visiting my grandparents' house so i didn't really have a lot of energy to reply to all of this BUT IM HERE AND i can finally give u a good response <3

firstly is your family member okay??? i hope so ;____; how was the rest of your week, and how was your weekend angel? i hope u were able to enjoy your weekend and that everything is okay in the family <3

but YEAH my mom and i are over the stupid cold ;_____; i hate colds,,,, they last way too long lol like i say i know the flu is a little more serious than a cold but i would rather have it for a day or 2 than being stuck feeling lousy for a whole week :( ALSO SLDKFSJDFKLJ OH GOD SEE we are both hypochondriacs ( that's not the best trait to have as a nursing major lol ) but tbh i'm really curious about this rare disease ????? :o sounds really scary tho goodness gracious i wonder what it could be ;____;

also god i was always awful at staying up late as a kid LOL but i know what u mean !!!!!! honestly there was only one time i can recall i had a sleepover with my friend in like the 3rd grade and we tried pulling an all nighter so i think we made it to like 5am but i had to go to bed omg i felt like such garbage LKDSFJ </3 it's just funny bc like as u get older u realize that staying up late is really nothing special and if anything u feel like a train hit you the next morning and adults are so sleep deprived as it is we just *try* to prioritize sleep SLDKFJSDKLJF :') you worked a lot as a child bub?? what kind of things did you do? i didn't start working until i was 15 bc most places here don't allow u to work until this age (unless you're in a family business i guess lol) but all the jobs i had in high school i hated so much ;_____; but my childhood? i would say it was relatively normal LOL like we say all the time i've had a single mom so life was really stressful for her but i always felt loved <3 i always had my mom <3 and we took trips to the beach with my family every year, it was our little tradition !! i went to san diego to visit disney, you know little trips here and there !! and then when i got into my sport and i started getting older my mom and i spent a lot of time and money investing into my sport so most of my weekends consisted of a lot of tournaments and driving far away for me to compete :') i do remember when i was really young like in kindergarten my mom's work was really far away from my school and we had a recital ; i was the "host" where i would introduce all of the songs and stuff and my mom didn't get off of work until like 6 and by the time she made to my recital, it was over :( she told me she cried a lot that night :( i don't remember her doing this (i don't even remember the recital all that much lol) but now that i'm older and i understand more about adulting, i'm sure she was so devastated thinking about it now :( anyways about visiting europe LOL I WILL DEF GIVE U A CALL AND LET U KNOW SO U CAN SHOW ME ALL OF THE COOL PLACES <333333

and about the religion ....... yes ;____; i think it's a great thing if a family decide that they want to do this when they're families; i hope to continue to practice it (even tho we aren't regularly going to church at all hhhh gotta work on that) but there is something about catholic guilt specifically that just makes it soooo hard to like, be easy on yourself? but ,,,,,, i guess it keeps me grounded :( in a self depreciating way ??? LDSKFJ I KNOW U UNDERSTAND ... it's weird for me to put into words ;____; and YEAH :( i think i'm getting a little better at this but i used to apologize all the time for things i never needed to be sorry for hhhh (still do) :')

and yes babe honestly i'm really terrified to start uni :( i think i have this weird anxiety issue i've had it ever since last year but i don't know why i'm so scared and anxious about things that haven't even happened yet ;____; are u like this too? is it normal? i wish i knew :( i guess i won't really feel better until i have made it to graduation, but i just want to do well this year. whatever i do, whether it's exams, or clinical rotation or my preceptorship, i just want to do well ;____; i don't want to do poorly, i want to make my mom proud and i want to work at a place i'll be excited to work at, and most of all i just want everything to work out ,,,, i wish someone could just sit me down and say listen i know what you're going thru is hard but you CAN get thru this and EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS bc no one in my family is in the health sciences (besides my cousin who is studying to be a doctor but she doesn't give a shit about what i do lol) so ;_____; yeah ,,,,,,,,,,, lots of anxiety and apprehension of the unknown :(

LSDKFJSD FOKAY NOW I KNOW WHAT LAMPSHADING IS LMAOOOOOOOOOOO yes i wear those clothes on lazy days LOL the thing is i'm really picky about the length of my oversized crewneck sweaters hhhh the can't be too long bc if it goes below my butt i look like i'm wearing rags LOL so i have to be careful :') but most days i do like, reverse lamp shading lDLKFJSDLKFJ i like wearing flowy pants with a more tight top or like baggy jeans with a tighter shirt or a blouse i can tuck into my jeans LOL but omg its so funny i didn't know what that was :') thank u for the explanation my love <3

OKAY BUT HALF THE REASON I DIDN'T RESPOND IS THAT i was saving this weekend to go to the jo malone store in my mall and !!! I GOT A NEW SCENT AND I'M IN LOVE WITH IT SO MUCH BABE ;____; you have to go smell it if you go there soon and tell me what u think !!!!!! it's called wild bluebell (here is the scent description lol) but the guy behind the counter helping me was soooo amazing and helpful like they really do treat u the best at the store and AH i’m so happy with my purchase <3 my wallet isn’t so much LDSKFJ but nonetheless i know i’ll have it for a long time :)

KISS OR DEATH !!!!! i actually really enjoyed it lol i have seen some ppl not really like the rapping so much but i loved it ;____; i’m super biased obviously LOL but gosh i thought they were all great and minhyuk + hyungwon killed the song for me <333 wouldn’t expect anything less from our monstas !!!!! and my mom is sending her love lol i tell her the work u do and she’s always wondering how ur doing :(((( same for my moots she always asks me about 2 in particular LOL she’s always asking me <3 i love u so much bubbie !!!! iM SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE MY LOVE again i always just want to give u a quality response <3 i love u the absolute most and i hope u had a great weekend !!!!!!! this is my last week at work before i have a week long break before i head for uni so :’) can’t believe i’ve done all this LOL :’) i will be happy to hear from u whenever u come back hun !!!!! TAKE CARE LOVE U <3

#asks #💥 anon #WE ARE WRITING NOVELS HERE BABE LOL !!!!

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demonofthelight · 7 years

Conversation

Life stories: Simon Clarke

Joanne (presenter): What keeps you awake at night, like what do you regret the most?

Simon: I don't know if I regret anything because everything teaches you something. Everything we go through is a lesson in life.

Joanne: That's the diplomatic response. What's the real response? If you could change something what would be?

Simon: There's this girl, anyone that listens to this podcast regularly probably knows all about her. Well, I can't regret us ending, because she's getting married in, what's the date? She's getting married in less than a month and she's meant to be happy so I don't regret us ending. I regret being so unimportant in her eyes that we don't still speak. I regret that, more than anything. I don't know if she was the 'one' but she was a friend. A friend I will forever adore.

Joanne: Does that keep you awake at night.

Simon: I wouldn't go that far but there are days I wonder about her.

Joanne: If she was watching this show, what would you say to her?

Simon: I'm sorry I never made her happy and I'm sorry she felt pressured by me. There's this story where a mutual friend once told me, this girl who I don't want to name Joanne, I really don't. You've shown pictures there but she doesn't look the same anymore not even the same coloured hair. Anyway this mutual friend told me she 'hates me for bringing her up'. Honestly, I'm sick of talking about it but I was always taught there's no taboo subject.

Joanne: Do you wish you two stayed in touch?

Simon: Mixed. (looking uncomfortable and shifting) I wish we never drifted so apart into two different circles but the circle she mixes in aren't compatible with the circle I drift in. I don't want to sound like an arrogant asshole. I mean it's nothing to do with superiority or a god complex. The circles I drift in are quite intellectual. Political debates, university alumina, professional jobs, e-sports. The circles she drifts in are more materialistic or hobby orientated. Motorbikes, sports etc. I mean some of those people think I'm literally the worst thing to happen to her, while some of the people in my circle find those who can't debate infuriating. The reality is the person she is now and the person I am now are completely different.

Joanne: Moving on to the death of your mom. Can you remember the day you found out?

Simon: Like it was yesterday. I got woke up in the morning while the paramedics were in my kitchen. I got told that my mom had died in her sleep and as you can imagine my father was in bits. I didn't know how to process it initially so I stayed in my room for about an hour. As time passed, I just wanted to be hugged and told I wasn't as alone as I felt.

Joanne: I'm sure your sisters and brother were by your side.

Simon: Of course, but they were trying to come to grips with it too. To be entirely honest, I reached out to a friend the following day or within the next few days. It became a blur that week but I remember distinctly that the one female who I loved and depended on to that level other than my mother was my ex. I spent the time up until the funeral genuinely believing she would pop over and check up on me even after we broke up on bad terms.

Joanne: How did your friend react , how did they support you?

Simon: As we've touched on, I was a loner in school. Until near the end of high school, I was a bullied shy kid. I didn't have any true friends. But this moment, this terrible event, Matthew made me realise I would never have to go through a travesty alone. He took time out to go for a drink with me during that week and he took the day off work to go to my mom's funeral. He's a complete atheist. He think's my philosophy on the afterlife is closer to Stephen King than history textbooks but he literally walked probably a few miles to and from the funeral just to show his support. I've never told him how much that meant to me. But I'd like to think he just knows.

Joanne: I'm sure he wasn't the only friend over that time?

Simon: No, I have another fantastic friend called Andrew. I had a very bitter falling out over him trying to get me support and honestly anyone else would have knocked me out for the abuse I gave him over it. He just laughed it off. One of two friends that I can depend on, hopefully and as far as I'm concerned the rest of my life.

Joanne: You mentioned the girl again (picture of 2011 as a couple goes on screen), her family is your neighbour right so they knew about what happened with your mom but didn't she text you or call in?

Simon: Her parents lived opposite the street, but she never asked or showed concern on my wellbeing. I have no entitlement of that care. It's her right to feel or act in any legal way she wishes. I'll respect her freedom to do that for as long as I can.

Joanne: How does that make you feel?

Simon: It made me realise our perspectives on the 18 months we were in a relationship were different. For me, it was a fantastic period and I imagine for her it's best to forget it.

Joanne: Does that bother you?

Simon: Should it? People change, circumstances change. Can we move on?

Joanne: OK. We'll go to a break... Welcome back. I'd like to talk about university and is it true that you were warned before you enrolled?

Simon: As a 18 year old child. I made a stupid comment about a friend publicly on Facebook. My friend found it hilarious and it's the sort of dark humour we say to each other over voice chat and in person but someone twisted what I said to imply someone who died in my local area. Well implied the post was about them. I never met and couldn't care less about them. I apologised and thought that was the end of it but a formal police report was filed and the individuals informed my university who at this point had just provided me with an offer to enrol that I accepted. I mean top business college diploma in the county, they ripped the hands off for me. So that was interesting. The university was great about it. The police were as incompetent as you can imagine but it did teach me that don't say anything on social media that can't be literally taken. Like this will go up on YouTube and Tumblr. So anything I say can be proved.

Joanne: How did you emotionally react to this event, where what you said was taken out of context?

Simon: Betrayed by others but I was stupid and naiive. You can't be those things especially as a successful businessman. At this time a lot of falsehoods and rumours came around ranging from me being a drug addict to committing sexual assault. It was obvious at this point those who had ever had a conversation with me knew that I had traditional moral values so the accusations were as ridiculous as they sound. Childish rumours spread to squash what I had to say. My friends just ignored them, and the people the bullshit influenced were better off not in my life anyway.

Joanne: I've only met you twice and you're quite outspoken about some controversial subjects but its obvious to me morally your the other way. Severely punish criminals, probably too far in my opinion.

Simon: I agree, my opinions can be quite controversial but I'm as against illegal drugs as I love a cup of tea. Even my critics would tell you that.

Joanne: You've gone from a social media account with 50000 followers overall to less than a tenth of the size. Why do you think this is and does it bother you?

Simon: I used to be a depressing blogger with poems, and writing that was soul crushing but honest about my thoughts or feelings about myself. I then started to feel less lost so naturally started writing about facts not emotions. Politics was always a topic I found fascinating. I've always been debating since I can remember. I get off on a debate, which is why it's hilarious to mock those that call you names because they can't debate the facts of the topic. I started looking at things like the wage gap and white privilege economically and they don't hold up to the scrutiny expected in academic work. They just don't. Those that believe either of those things are either stupid or lied too.

Joanne: I don't want to go down the rabbit hole of politics because it's become who you are but if I can, I want to touch on 'getting off' of those that call you names in other words 'Trolls' can you elaborate on that?

Simon: I'll give you an example. I'm quite camp just look at what I'm wearing so I got an anon message on Tumblr once that read 'you are a gay homophobic sexist Nazi that should just kill yourself'. How hilarious is the stupidity of that statement. If I was gay, I couldn't be homophobic and gay people aren't allowed to be a Nazi. It shows the idiocy of these people that are probably children.

Joanne: Does these kind of hate messages matter to you?

Simon: Of course it matters, everybody wants to be liked. Those that claim otherwise are lying. But the opinions of people I've never met who are so ashamed of themselves they hide through anonymous, do not matter to me. The opinions of friends and parents of friends matter to me.

Joanne: You once said you were 'bad with women'.

Simon: Oh God, yea. I really wish I hadn't had said that. It was on an emotional post at 3am. It was a spur of the moment thought. I don't think I'm naturally bad with women but I am a marmite figure. I'm not universally liked. Most people I meet are probably intimidated by me. I think the women that I find attractive clearly don't normally find me attractive.

Joanne: Why is that? What type of women do you find attractive?

Simon: I'm probably a 6 out of ten, if I could lose the acne probably a good 7. I tend to fall for either the tall slim blonde or the short petite unique person. I'm quite simple like that. Then if they are able to debate or disagree with me brilliantly, I just adore them.

Joanne: (laughs) So you see yourself as just above average?

Simon: In looks, I do. In style, I'm quite unique and some people hate that I stand out. In personality, I am extremely demanding but I also expect that from myself.

Joanne: Do you ever think about children?

Simon: I did. I thought about marriage and kids but I've only ever found three people in 21 years that I could see having a life with. I do think about children's names though, I have top three for both genders. For a boy: Constantine, Excalibur or Arthur. For a girl: Katherine, Kate or Kathleen.

Joanne: Do you think it's fair when some people refer to you as egotistical, arrogant or psychotic?

Simon: It's no business of mine what other's perceive me to be. I can only concentrate on who I am and I'm none of those things.

Joanne: Do you like being the centre of attention with someone claiming you 'have to be seen to be the most overdressed person because you need the attention?

Simon: I don't mind it, but I don't actively pursue it. I don't really mind whether someone outshines me. I love a challenge and I think demanding the best from myself constantly while can be quite exhausting to see, is who I am whether that's monopoly, gaming or dressing.

#life story #interviews #podcast #demonofthelight

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