#chronic depression

[literarydesire]

“But you dont seem like someone with depression”

Sorry, let me just:

Stańczyk by Jan Matejko, 1862

#mdd #chronic depression #Stańczyk #dark academia #light academia #chaotic academia #literature #dark acadamia aesthetic #books #aesthetic #poetry #books and libraries #art

[avoidantghost]

i actually talk to people for once, and suddenly i'm certain everyone is planning to leave me.

#mental illness things #avpd #mental illness #avoidant personality disorder #my posts #social anxiety disorder #social anxiety #chronic depression #generalized anxiety disorder #major depressive disorder #bpd #actually borderline #bpd stuff #borderline personality disorder

[fairiencarnate]

Why did no one tell me that the "chemical imbalance" theory has largely been disproven, that serotonin and dopamine can't cause mental illness on their own? Why have all mental health professionals been pushing this idea as fact? I've always thought the whole BPD diagnosis was bogus, just modern day hysteria slapped onto (mostly) women with complex-PTSD. Almost an official gaslight, like "your trauma wasn't traumatic enough to warrant the PTSD label so we're going to act like your brain is malfunctioning". So I'm not surprised to find all this out.

Can we finally begin a trauma-informed approach toward mainstream mental health shit? Especially mood disorders? Let's not rule chemicals and hormones out entirely, but let's acknowledge that trauma and genes have far stronger ties to mental health.

#obviously genetics are a huge factor too #and socioeconomic status altho i would also consider that under the trauma umbrella?? #im starting to wonder whether my meds were really helping me chemically #or if they were giving a placebo affect bc they affected me physically so much at first #like “this feels intense so they must be legit” #and then the belief carried me through being open to therapy and healing etc #definitely pulled me from the edge of suicide #either way they helped me #i wonder if I'd be ok off them now that its been like 6+ years #NONE OF THIS IS ADVICE BTW #personal #tw medical #chronic depression #chronic anxiety #borderline personality disorder #actually borderline #cptsd

[seraphicsuicides]

having chronic depression is like oh so ur sad? oh damn. stay that way

#female hysteria #female manipulator #girlblogging #femcel #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #female rage #lana del rey #lizzie grant #manic pixie dream girl #lizzy grant #mental illness #chronic depression #mental health #chronic illness #lol #jokes #laugh

[sadsickandstoned]

Or worse, I wake up (😠😠) and am LATE to work

#tw suicude #suicidal #tw suicice #Suicide attempt #self destructive thoughts #selfharn #mental instability #tw self destructive behavior #disorders #mental illness #tw selfhate #bpd vent #borderline personality disorder #mental disorder #auto destructive behavior #Suicidal meme #depression memes #chronic depression #depressed #depression #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #Depression meme #bpd shit #shmeme #sh meme #actually mentally ill #mental problems #mentally unstable #mentally ill

[willows-woes]

chronic suicidality is a hell of its own.

every single day you think about dying, and every single day you fail. you feel guilt and shame for even living.

people around you tell you you're brave for still being here. but it doesn't feel like it at all-- it feels like a result of failure. failure, over and over and over again.

#chronic suicidality #chronic depression #tw suicidal ideation

[chronic-invisibility]

I’ve essentially given up on connecting with other people, like I just can’t keep trying to make new friends or find a partner, it always goes badly and I end up even more lonely and miserable than before. I can’t keep doing that to myself. Which is probably pretty sad, but so is constantly being rejected.

#it’s exhausting and depressing i just can’t keep doing it #i’m so fucking lonely #actually autistic #actually adhd #actually bpd #chronic depression

[not-your-pussikat]

new GP

I'm in the process of switching GPs because I'm not happy with the old one, and I had my first appointment with the new one today. After I told them my medical history, they looked at me and said: "How on earth do you manage to work 40 hours a week?

I almost started bawling then and there. First appointment and I already feel like a medical professional finally understands how much of a burden it is to be neurodivergent, have three chronic pain illnesses with lots of symptoms besides only pain, plus all the other chronic shit that I have, and yet have to function like a neurotypical, perfectly healthy human being.

I have a physical next week so we have a baseline to work off of (blood tests, EKG, etc.), but the new GP is already sure that they want me to go to pain rehab to get a condensed, comprehensive picture of my overall health, because only then will I be able to get the proper treatment and also go to the state relief organization to apply for a higher disability rank—which, best case scenario, might make me eligible for financial help from the state so that I wouldn't have to work that much anymore.

I know that all of this won't happen overnight, especially since I started a new job in May and won't be able to take time off for rehab until December (at the earliest), but the thought alone that here there is a doctor who is actively trying to help me, instead of just passively issuing pain meds to me, feels like a huge relief!

#chronic migraines #chronic fatigue syndrome #fibromyalgia #chronic depression #pain warrior #spoonie

[betatrolls]

second day in a row I've brushed my teeth yayyy everybody clap

#post #chronic depression #for reference it had been like. two months or something lol

[maarohh]

#hazbin hotel #meme #sir pentious #depression #mental health #chronic depression #anxiety

[devileaterjaek]

This line gets memed a lot but...

As someone with chronic depression...

For me, it's always like this.

#depression #gaming #horror #silent hill #silent hill 2 #chronic depression

[monsterohnenamen]

#monsterohnenamen #darkness #heartbreak #heartbroken #pain #mental illness #mental ill meme #sadness #sorrow #depressed #depression #tw depressing thoughts #living with borderline #bpd stuff #bpd #chronic depression #suffering #enjoy my suffering #demons #angels and demons

[daysofdull]

that (non-existent) feeling you experience where you're emotionally numb for days and weeks with a tinge of sadness that is here but also not quite. you feel it when you're not paying attention but it goes away when you try to focus on it. then, one day, your heart feels lighter and you feel better and all of a sudden you feel sadness and finally, finally, the tears come falling. and then it's nothing. again. again.

#chronic depression #dysthymia #emotional numbness #persistent depressive disorder #i think im sad but like not quite #daysofdull

[willows-woes]

this is so weird but. as a questioning system i'm kinda scared of recovery. long personal post incoming.

i have chronic depression, diagnosed. and that, too, i'm scared of recovering from. scared of having nothing to complain about, scared of being "better" and losing the literal only sense of identity I've had since I was thirteen. if i sound like i'm overreacting i really don't FEEL like i am. these fears feel real and overwhelming to me.

but, since I'm undiagnosed and may never be diagnosed with osdd/did, i'm not FULLY sure if they're alters or not. but regardless, I'm scared of them going away. scared of not knowing who i am. i'm not even fully SURE what's wrong with me and sometimes i feel like everyone with did online is pushing therapy, pushing going to therapy IMMEDIATELY to start working on fusion and uncovering traumatic memories when I literally don't even know what the shit is happening in my head yet. I'd want to know what's even happening first, I'd want to gain an understanding of it before trying to get rid of it.

in general, in an overall sense, I'm terrified of losing a sense of community. a sense of belonging. someone to RELATE to, losing the ability for other people to relate to me because i'm just. normal.

boring.

#- 🌳 #actually dissociative #chronic depression #pdd #actually mdd #mdd thoughts #osdd #questioning osdd #osdd system

[solittles]

i asked my therapist how i should think about myself as someone with avpd-ocpd and depression. she told me that with a pd, you basically have a chronic depression, that you can't treat the way you treat normal depressions.

this made it much easier for me to not blame myself for not having gotten better during this decade of having been depressed. because the depression is so much more deeply integrated into my personality than it would be without a pd . treating it is more complicated

#avpd #ocpd #cluster c #pd tag #depression #chronic illness #chronic depression #personality disorder #avoidant personality disorder #elliot screams

[ovsilenceandblack]

p sure at this point my continued existence should be a salaried position

#oktorb #personal #disabled #chronic depression #chronic fatigue #chronic pain #chronic illness