#i want to make a separate post about them as well mostly bc of smth ill rant about here

[artheresy]

My dynamic for Dan Feng & Yingxing

Hi hello, I said I would finally post this after long debating over if I show it here first or in my fic first, but fuck it. That’s a long ways away and I need to rant about them because they take up too much space in my brain.

So this post, isn’t me claiming that this is the canon dynamic between Dan Feng and Yingxing or that this is the only right one or whatever. This is purely my own view of what I think their dynamic would be based upon how I see their individual characters with the little bits and crumbs we’ve been given so far in HSR. I can’t go over every single aspect of them here because I just purely can’t think of every single thing so this is primarily going to be talking about the fundamental key parts of my interpretation of their dynamic! If that makes sense, I’ll hop right in

Be warned, this is pretty fucking long, I think so much about them it actually hurts me physically, like it’s painful. This is me just letting my autism run while talking about two of my favorites, so be cautious… sorry in advance if some areas turn into tangents, again I think about them so much its actually too much I think about them too much

AGAIN, THIS IS MY VIEW OF THEM!! Based on the characterization we have so far which isn’t a whole bunch, this is my interpretation of their relationship based on how I view the bits of characterization we have and what we know about them

—

Okay so one of the biggest and most fundamental parts that influences how I view their dynamic and the course of their relationship is looking at how exactly and why exactly I think they became close. Jingliu in her companion quest says:

I think this statement she makes “to see someone so arrogant get along with someone so proud” is actually the foundation of why they get close and their dynamic works rather than an obstacle that they somehow overcome. Specifically, I think that it was Yingxing’s arrogance (partially genuine and partially a habit born for the sake of his own survival) that allowed the two of them to get close. When we see lines from Yingxing via Dan Heng’s memories or via the Mirage Echo, though he uses Dan Feng’s proper title, he seems to talk rather casually to him. Even in a tense situation as secretly being in Scalegorge Waterscape for research would seem, Yingxing still is very lighthearted and in some languages, even laughs a little as he banters with Dan Feng. I have my own headcanons for why he has this casualness to him, but either way it’s a genuine part of him and a part of his canon characterization. I think that casualness, a product of his confidence/arrogance and maybe a little of his obliviousness as well, allows for them to get close. It evens the playing field, Yingxing sees Dan Feng as his equal, as a person, as Dan Feng rather than as his position of Imbibitor Lunae High Elder of the Vidyadhara. I could speculate all day whether or not other people had treated him similarly before and he shot it down (there’s a lot of the actual evolution of the dynamic that I will write I swear), but I think there was something very unique in that casualness that Dan Feng might not have experienced before, not from anyone else, not from the other members of the HCQ he had met before. Perhaps even Yingxing’s background would play a part in how shocked by his behavior DF is. Either way, it is that casualness, that equalness unlike he had ever experienced before, mixed with all of Yingxing’s other characteristics such as his cheeky nature that manages to quickly break down Dan Feng’s walls and make him feel compelled to grow closer to YX. Whether their first meeting was via Baiheng and Jingliu or a chance encounter before they eventually join the HCQ, Dan Feng is coming away from that shell shocked by the sheer audacity of this short life species, feelings he first interprets as offense before he realizes he’s actually amused/interest in him, and Yingxing walking away like “Huh? That was the High Elder I guess. Seems nice, a bit stiff tho!” There is no worship of Dan Feng from his side for any reason, not for his skills, not for his position, not even as an unattainable ethereal beauty situation. He views him as just another person, an equal, and no part of him views DF in this cocky “he’s not unattainable bc I already have him” kind of way because…

—

Another fundamental in my personal interpretation of their relationship is that Yingxing doesn’t truly seek anything from Dan Feng nor does he ever necessarily try to pursue him. And all of this isn’t in an insecure “We’d never work” kind of product of overthinking way of choosing not to pursue him. Rather, it’s primarily because Yingxing doesn’t feel the need to. He doesn’t need his romantic feelinhs to be satisfied or fulfilled especially with the difference in their lifespans. As long as he can be by his side and stay close with him until his time comes to an end, Yingxing is truly perfectly content with that. A lot of this additionally stems from a certain place. That being that after he gets to know Dan Feng better and learns of the sheer pressure he endures due to his position, the choices he feels he’s forced into, the level of restriction, even with all of the influence Dan Feng still has, he doesn’t want to be an added source of pressuring or discomfort. To sum it up, Yingxing leaves the ball in Dan Feng’s court so he can act as he sees fit when he feels like it. There’s an added layer to this also of Yingxing not wanting to ruin the current state of their dynamic (a topic I’ll get into more). In the end, this is just yet another part of Yingxing that utterly pulls Dan Feng in. He is very used to being distrusting of others and refusing to get close to many people, primarily out of wariness of the potential ulterior motives people may have when befriending him. Contrastly, Yingxing doesn’t expect or even want anything from Dan Feng even the closer they get. Dan Feng can see that, and it makes him trust in Yingxing. Makes him trust to the point that he feels comfortable enough to make attempts pursuing Yingxing himself rather than meeting at a stalemate, refusing to go after a man Dan Feng knows won’t chase him as to not risk pressuring him and bc he’s fine with how things are. That isn’t to say though that Yingxing won’t respond to any attempts Dan Feng makes first though, because he absolutely will. Well… that is if he can recognize any attempts from Dan Feng at all because he can be rather oblivious in the face of people making advances at him-

An added part to all of this is that Yingxing with the way he acts, both in general and in this specific regard, ends up being part of what helps influence and encourage Dan Feng to do more to take what he wants, actually follow his desires in certain aspects rather than keeping up his stiff outer image and denying himself of everything for that sake of his position. The HCQ in general all have influence helping Dan Feng open up more like this, seizing things instead of either waiting for things on a platter or never having them. However, Yingxing's bold nature is definitely the strongest factor as he ends up helping Dan Feng learn to identify what he wants for himself. Whether that want is something as complex as moving forward in a relationship when not only has Dan Feng had very little experience with close connections to others, but also is so accustomed to the stillness of long life, or something as simple as taking breaks and time to himself to live and breathe and experience life moving around him. It's through Yingxing (and the rest of the HCQ) that Dan Feng learns to be more selfish. It's through all of their care and kindness and love that Dan Feng learns that he too is not merely a pillar to stand tall for his people. That he is a person with needs and wants, and it is perfectly fine to be selfish and prioritize yourself at times.

—

So that previous section got into a little bit of Dan Feng’s trust in Yingxing, but what about Yingxing’s side of things? What about his trust in Dan Feng? I dunno what it is about him, but I feel like Dan Feng is the kind of person who can hear some of the deepest confessions and see the barest parts of the heart of someone he cares about and not treat them any differently like as if they are fragile y’know. Like Dan Feng is the person who Yingxing, out of all the HCQ, can truly confide in because he knows he won’t be seen different or treated in a drastically different way. Ultimately, Jingliu isn’t someone he feels he can go to for super emotional things which she likely herself knows she wouldn’t be able to help much with, Jing Yuan and him have a very light hearted joking dynamic that makes changing the tone and breaking the mood for a deep heart to heart much harder so he doesn’t often do it, and Baiheng… well, deep down Baiheng still sees Yingxing as that disheartened little boy, who had lost everything and was being told that there’s nothing he could do about it given his lifespan, that he couldn’t avenge what he had lost. If Yingxing were to tell her how he honestly truly feels about everything in his life, the traumas he still hadn’t overcome or the thoughts that plague him every day, he knows she would end up fretting over him, mother hen style. Being overly cautious as if his mind is made of glass, and as much as he loves her, he hates the idea of her changing how she treats him because of just how much she cares for him in turn.

(It’s a trait I see Baiheng having as to it being an obstacle in her other relationships like with Yingxing but works well in her relationship with Jingliu, caring for her and treating her softly, not underestimating her, in a way that others are too afraid to treat the unwavering, ice cold Sword champion! Matching DF and YX’s whole situation with his arrogance and casualness)

In the end, Yingxing feels like Dan Feng is the only one he can truly trust with the deepest corners of his heart and mind without worrying of Dan Feng either judging him or suddenly treating him like a fragile piece of porcelain. Even if he were to take note of something Yingxing told him and do something in response perhaps to ease his worries or heart ache, it would never be something out of pity or thinking Yingxing to be unable to take care of himself. Because ultimately, that’s where this all stems for Yingxing. He has lived so much of his life underestimated, whether having his skills and abilities questioned for being a short life species or sometimes intentionally sometimes unintentionally having his ability to take care of himself questioned like he needs a caretaker. Something that again is partially due to again to being a short life species. What Yingxing likes about Dan Feng is from the moment he met him, he doesn’t feel as if he is being questioned or underestimated. Dan Feng makes him feel as if he is truly seen as an equal, even with their distinct difference in power. It’s a treatment from Dan Feng that serves as a response to Yingxing’s own treatment of Dan Feng, his casualness to the other man making it clear he sees him as an equal as well.

And that? Well that is perhaps the most important part of the dynamic. In canon, they both have struggles with how they are seen and treated by others based on preconceived notions about their status. Dan Feng being in a way dehumanized as he is put up on a pedestal for being an incarnation of Imbibitor Lunae, for being the High Elder of the Vidyadhara, a position that he wants to escape because of the sheer loss of identity just a role brings. Yingxing being underestimated from the moment he stepped onto the Xianzhou because he wasn’t a long life species to the point that the other celestial masters on the Zhuming borderline bullied him into doubting himself, thinking a lot about his own death, and as a young boy (not even a teen yet), literally saying “Maybe I’ll never live to see the day my parents are avenged.” In my view of them, for them to truly be as close as they are established in canon, I think that from the start of their dynamic they make it very clear they see the other as a genuine and true equal in a way that other people haven’t or perhaps, can’t fully.

—

I said this before my in Aurizzm Yingxing post, but yeah, I don’t think Dan Feng or Yingxing would have come into a romantic relationship with each other with any experience at all. I know Dan Feng with no experience is a very accepted idea, and I agree with it very much given his isolated position and his proud attitude and that 100% plays into my view of their dynamic. I also however, firmly believe Yingxing came in without any romantic relationship experience too. The difference here ends up being in how inexperienced each of them are. Yingxing has had a lot more friendship experience, and he’s experienced crushes before which is how he can identify his own romantic feelings better than Dan Feng. But he’s never actually been in any relationship. He’s never had the time, he’s got his own goals in mind while being painfully aware he’s on a time limit, and let’s be real like I said before, This Man is married to his Forge. Meanwhile, Dan Feng truly hasn’t had any friendships prior to the HCQ. Knowing him and her too, I firmly believe Dan Feng and Jingliu’s relationship for example, was for maybe a few decades, maybe a literal century, just them sparring without words from time to time. So Dan Feng not only going in with no friendship experience, but I think that man also is having to recognize some new emotions and feelings he’s never experienced nor can put words to. So Dan Feng’s disaster comes in being painful aware of the presence and intensity of his own feelings… he just doesn’t have the words nor experience to recognize exactly what those feelings are. It’s an absolute disaster on all fronts, somebody pray for the HCQ who unfortunately have to experience all of this.

There’s an added layer I want to go more into looking back at the first part of why their relationship works and the thing I said about the Baiheng trait. As we saw with Jingliu admitting to her feelings towards his attitude as a child, she wasn’t… she wasn’t really a fan so to say of his arrogance. And given y’know, what we see of the people of the Luofu, I don’t doubt many people have similar reactions. Part of Yingxing’s limited experience comes not only from his own decision to not pursue anything, I think part of it comes from being for whatever reason feeling distaste for him. Whether it’s their own prejudices against Outworlders, or his bold attitude and lack of formality that makes any interest they had in him end up flying away. Which ugh, makes it even more special that this attitude of his, born out of necessity for his own survival on the Xianzhou and for his ability to move forward in his craftsmanship after all he went through, which has pushed so many people away, ends up being the exact thing that allows him to get close to Dan Feng. IT’s UGGGHHH Sorry, but I just need to scream. I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT THEM OKAY?? THEY TAKE UP TOO MUCH SPACE IN MY BRAIN, I CAN’T HAVE A SINGLE MOMENT OF REST BECAUSE OF THEM

—

Again, this is my view of them and their dynamic based upon what we have been given in game so far, the crumbs of characterization we have. God I hope we get more. This isn’t me saying this view of them is canon or anything, this is just how I view them. This is the dynamic and thoughts that have grown like mold in my head from thinking about them WAY too much.

I have so much more I could talk about, certain specific things or things that don’t even immediately come to mind right now. If you want to ask more about how I view them or have some topic or aspect of them in mind, please hit me up. Either send something to my inbox or bust your way into my dms to talk about them. I love them so much. They mean the world to me.

And honestly? I could just make two whole separate posts also just about how I specifically characterize each of them, but I think I need to let my brain rest a bit.

And don’t think about this dynamic specifically in reference to how it could reflect on their current selves because you might just end up hurting yourself like I have. GOD I HATE THEM

#okay so I have so much more to say about df/yx but i wanted to take the tags to talk about rh #i want to make a separate post about them as well mostly bc of smth ill rant about here #the arguing between rh antis vs rh shippers has devolved into such a lack of nuance from both sides that its HURTING MY BRAIN #rh anti: ‘Blade HATES Dan Heng’ #yeah he does #but also its not a shallow kind of hatred #it’s a multilayer complicated hatred built on past feelings of regret betrayal and fundamentally a past love from yingxing #that is what the hatred we see (mostly amplified outwardly by the mara) is all built upon that is PART of the appeal its tragedy its doomed #it’s a loss of what was and how that influences its own unique dynamic different from df & yx #rh anti: ‘DH hates Blade’ also true but again #its become a complicated kind of dislike mixed with the shock and realization of who Blade USED to be and past memories coming back #additionally there’s a little something called character and relationship development where dynamics and characters change over the story… #rh shipper: ‘You’re saying Blade hates DH lol are we reading the same game’ YES WE ARE #YES HE DOES #He does hate him yes its a complicated kind of hatred as I already said but that doesnt erase that he does hold resentment towards Dan Heng #did none of you?? read the relic lore?? #if you believe that dan heng is destined to die with blade then you believe hes apart of that ‘final funeral to the unnamed’s life and #to everything he ever hated.’ …like guys why are we saying he doesnt hate him at all #it outright flies in the face of blade’s character to say he doesn’t hate him like HELLO? it’s just a complicated hatred #not nonexistent and like seriously the hatred again adds to the appeal of their dynamic #their tragedy lies in how their past forms were once close and through a shared sin plus some stuff to inspire Blade’s vengeance that #that relationship has been completely destroyed beyond repair under the weight of their sin #love replaced with an eternal hatred and remorse a betrayal grave enough to spark such violent revenge #is what makes rh appealing! makes their dynamic interesting and that dynamic developing further as threads of their past still linger but #alas arent the same as before fundamentally changed and unique to them again MAKES IT INTERESTING AND TRAGIC!! esp knowing blade will die #yingxing #dan feng #xingyue #renheng #honkai star rail

[perfectsunlight]

how yn feels about all the hate jennie gets? especially considering that she’s on twitter, people fs wouldn’t shy away from tagging and dming her asking all kinds of stuff. jennie is very private about her family so does she tries to shield yn from this part of her life? like has yn ever appeared in one of her vlogs, gone to fashion week with her, accompanied her on tour, does she mentions yn or it’s more like blinks now she’s her sister but she doesn’t really mention her publicly and only post a pic tgtr once in a blue moon?

ngl if i was jennie’s sister i would be throwing hands all day all night

oh yn HATES all the shit ppl say abt her sister. there's def been times where yn is like stomping around in a circle abt to fight ppl on the internet, but her mother stops her and tells her jennie wouldn't want that.

and she's right. jennie doesn't want her sister involved with fighting some internet trolls. their mother taught both of them to be still and silent, even when people say the worst. especially bc it doesn't matter what anyone says, all they will see is how yn or jennie reacts.

as for blinks + yn:

blinks respect yn's private life a lot surprisingly. they're not like up her ass the way they are w jennie. they know yn is a student and respect her studies.

which thank god bc they clearly don't respect her sister's privacy lmao

part of it is honestly just bc there's nothing much to the girl if ykw i mean? yn isn't an idol, or in the ent industry at all. she's just a "normal girl" in the eyes of media, which sort of is a deterrent for people who would rather say smth abt her or her sister.

sometimes blinks will catch yn liking edits of her sister or funny clips of jennie bc they tag yn in them, but its never to the point where its invasive. they don't send her death threats or anything.

but overall, they really respect her younger sister's privacy a lot...thankfully.

now for the jennnie + yn interactions:

ofc jennie is very private abt her life, especially with her family. but with yn it's a little different.

jennie LOVES giving her sister everything in the world. she loves her that much. like instead of their non existent father being the one to spoil his daughters, jennie does it instead. the car yn drives? jennie bought it for her. her university tuition? jennie pays for it. anything yn needs or wants, jennie pays for it.

(this is why kazuha alw makes yn pay for everything...)

jennie actually has a separate black card for her sister to buy things with. the only contingency is that jennie has to see the receipts. she knows yn is an adult, but it's still her money, so she needs to know whatever her sister is doing with her money.

(this is why jennie doesn't like kazuha...bc she makes yn buy her things with HER money)

whenever jennie has the opportunity to bring someone with her to an event, she always takes her mother and her sister if allowed. jennie's would rather share her best moments with the people she loves instead of alone.

so there's been a few fashion weeks that yn has been to. and ofc chanel loves jennie's sister too, so yn gets to wear all the nice things as well.

paparazzi def loves photographing them together, both at and not at public events.

there's def been photos of jennie and yn shopping together. blinks alw point out that jennie never checks to see the price, she js puts the clothing up against her sister and see's if it looks good or not 💀

blinks alw comment abt meeting yn and jennie in public, saying that they really look alike and act like real siblings. if jennie wasn't an idol, no one would ever think they were any different!

online + vlogs:

yn and jennie are alw in each other's comments lol so people can see their social interactions are very frequent. like jennie can post a picture and yn will comment smth like "is that my shirt?" 💀

jennie mentions her sister once in a while, mostly in interviews when they ask abt her family. but she doesn't like putting her sister in the media like that, mostly bc of safety reasons. she alw asks yn beforehand if she wants to say smth abt her and ofc the girl alw says its fine lol but jennie is js very protective.

but oh my god yn is almost ALWAYS in jennie's travel vlogs. it's like the only thing jennie feels comfortable with in regards to yn and the media bc she can alw edit out anything if she feels it risky. (aka the time when yn said taehyung's hair looked like "bird shit" in the background of a restaurant video in paris LMAOOO)

(ofc yn was js teasing her sister's bf but she didn't know jennie was recording when she said that lmao)

i could totally make a yt series abt their vlog interactions but this is the basics of it <3

#─👤 sunlight speaks #the variable #the variable headcanons

[nibwhipdragon]

omg you can draw? and you draw dragons?

can we get a dragon josej

I had been meaning to draw him as a dragon months before I got this ask and this was the thing that finally got me to do it thank you anon

Anyways. The guy (with a little planning doodle on the side I forgot to erase)

Now to explain my process for the design here, because I'm insane.

Let's start with the hair. Joseph's hair can't really be translated into spines on a back that well. Hair doesn't really translate that well at all. So I opted to lessen the "spikes" to 1, instead of the usual 3. The spines are also all joined instead of separate like I usually do them, to try keep the feel of soft and flowy hair. Also, because I am insane, I decided to make sure this design was reminiscent of. Crash Bandicoot. Yeah I've seen people joke about how similar human Joseph and Crash are so to help keep dragonseph fitting I also used Crash as a reference. This makes sense to me. Understand.

He's a classic European dragon (2 wings, 4 legs) for many reasons. You'd think I'd go with a wyvern bc of flying, but. The limb loss. I have no idea how the loss of a wing via severing would work. Nothing to go off of for it. "Oh but Nibwhip it's just a single drawing" I have thought about this world in great detail and will likely draw more in the future. I'm planning accordingly. I also think it just fits him bc. European (British. I think being British counts as being European? Idk), as well as the limbs. He can run much better than a wyvern can you know?

Horns. First of all I've been thinking about the Pillar Men here and designing Joseph accordingly. This sounds odd but. Humans and Pillar Men are different species, different physical characteristics. Same must apply for dragons here, except more visible bc I didn't like too much how the Pillar Men were in canon (too human). I've already confirmed in my mind palace that the Pillar Men (...Pillar Dragons? Yeah let's go with that) will have front facing horns, for many reasons I will elaborate on in a separate, later post. So, normal dragons will always have horns facing the other way (maybe other ways too. But mostly pointing back like that). I've also made em big and fat here to make em look solid. I didn't want to draw him as buff as humanseph, but I still needed to get across that feeling of strength. So boom. Get these chunky horns on your head dude

Now. Colours. Probably were expecting like. Green and yellow/purple for this, right? Those are colours he wears, not just...his hair colour. I went with the brown anyways, not just for the hair colour though. Back to strength. Brown's a nice earthy colour. Quite solid. I don't know enough about colour theory here but. I can ASSURE you that if I had done this in green or purple he would've felt a lot scrawnier. Brown's also a warm, welcoming colour. If that makes sense. Makes sure he still feels friendly and good despite the design change and all the things I did to make him look strong. Also with vibrant colours like green and purple it's harder to make a hypothetical oldseph version of this design. But here the brown also works it's an "old" colour. You know. Like a worn leathered cover to a book or smth. The brown works I assure you.

I also gave him "eyebrows" bc a Joseph without thick as hell eyebrows isn't a Joseph to me. Very defining part of his design tbh I HAD to get it in there.

I think that's all? Idk I am very sleepy (midnight 💀) so maybe I'll reblog later with more details idk

#me when I'm normal #answered asks #anonymous asks #jjba #joseph joestar #uhhh i feel like I'll need a tag for this #uhh #jjba dragon AU #that works for now 👍 #nibwhip doodles

[traumatizedjaguar]

i can’t remember it too well but i think i was either 5 or 6 when it happened. i was the older kid. i didn’t know it was wrong until an adult found out and i got in trouble for it. i still didn’t really understand why it was wrong but i trusted the adult that i did a bad thing and looking back i definitely did and i just don’t know where the idea even came from or how any of it started. i feel so bad for the other person bc they shouldn’t have had to deal with the fallout of my problems. the body memories are mostly random, if that thing pops into my mind i start feeling other weird stuff like hands on my back and stomach and my stomach turning and a feeling like i’ve been forced into something and wanting to run. the scariest one was recently when i was at a family function and i experienced an extreme arousal response around one specific person that sent me straight into a panic attack. and then i had this weird half memory of a memory from when i was like 8 or smth i just remember being in the car thinking of smth really awful involving a older boy and it made me so upset i sat and chanted to myself “forget it forget it forget it” until it actually worked and that’s pretty much it. my memory is so bad all these memories feel like dreams but i know they happened, but it still feels fake and not real. there’s some other stuff but this is the newer stuff that’s rlly been bothering me lately and it makes me feel like there’s some awful secret my brain is still keeping from me.

i do need to get therapy, these problems have been manifesting in my life in many ways since i was in middle school but it’s so shameful to talk about even to someone who’s trained to hear it and help. i can’t get the words out when i try, it’s like there’s a huge lump in my throat. thanks again for having an open ask box and a listening ear i’ve never talked to anyone about this and it helps to try and talk about it a little.

Here’s the first ask you sent^ I’m sorry to hear about what happened to you with these traumatic experiences and flashbacks in relation to it.

I would never put blame on a trauma victim regardless of how much you think you should be or what the adult said and I’m just taking from what you’ve written here and the other post I assume is yours that I carefully reread a few times each.

The adult telling you that you did a bad thing and getting you in trouble for it kind of angers me.

Adults should be more gentle with kids. And rather teach you and this other kid right from wrong otherwise they’re not doing a good job. Without much detail idk if the adult walked in on it happening in the middle of it, they wouldn’t know who initiated it or who’s to blame, such as biases (their relationship to you and this other kid) or lack of knowledge on certain topics (bullying, SA, DV) could have them blaming the wrong kid. Or if they watched the whole thing from the behinning they should’ve stopped it before it got too far between you and this other kid, separate the two of you maybe even for good or until they could trust you two together, or that adult would be untrustworthy.

Again, I’m sorry to hear about the abuse you’ve experienced from a kid near your age and someone else from when you were a bit older. Even if the first traumatic experience was with someone younger than you it doesn’t mean you were inherently at fault or responsible for it. Younger kids can be perpetrators too depending on the age gap, who initiated, and knowledge of each kid of course.

Edit: what has no sense or logic to me is when you say you agree with this adult that you were at fault for doing the bad thing, but everything you describe says the opposite.

The somatic/body flashbacks you mentioned in relation to this kid near your age back then are the re-experiencing section of PTSD and CPTSD meaning you were likely the abused.m one. Thinking about that kid near your age and the triggers into the flashbacks are normal when you suffered trauma, I get those all the time. I get emotional, arousal, and somatic memories related to incidences that happened between me and another kid when I was maybe around 4.

It’s also normal for everything to feel fake or like a dream. Especially given these happened so long ago and trauma makes us wanna forget or dissociate. I sob or have trouble talking every time I talk about my trauma from the experiences I barely remember but flashbacks to when I was around 4 and all the way up until recent events of stalking, talking about it makes me uncontrollably sob and it’s hard. That’s why I write everything down in text online but triggers or flashbacks will still happen which is my C-ptsd and sounds like yours when you think about or re-experience these memories from when you were 5/6. Panic or anxiety attacks are normal when around our abusers or triggered by something in relation to an abuser. Hypersexuality is what you’re describing as the “extreme arousal response” to a family member of yours. Our bodies tell us in many ways what trauma we’ve endured.

You’re not at fault, your trauma is valid, flashbacks are really fucking hard to deal with and I’m here for you if you need anything.

Edit: ok so I just DMed a couple people and asked them if that’s even possible to have your symptoms and yet be the perp/at fault/instigator and they all said that you, in fact, are being gaslighted by that adult (and possibly the kid depending on their stance on this as well.) Because people don’t just develop these symptoms and trauma injuries from abusing others. There’s nothing known in psychology about that even being possible. So, my answer remains that the adult is trying to manipulate you and you were never at fault for a single thing (regardless of how many people may bully you, manipulate you, or take a different stance.)

#anon #asks

[streaming-yn]

(☁️)

HIIII it's 3 am and i'm trying to sleep but brain went brr with ideas n shit and oh well- thing is ; i was wondering if i could make my first request? (smth simple if u want to, no need to be very long or anything + pls don't rush nd take ur time AND don't feel pressured to actually do my request :] ! ) maybe smth ab faceless art streamer! y/n [they/them]?? (if u could add that the reader is like an indie game dev or works for smth like that u'd be sosososososo cool omg) with maybe quackity, tommy, dream, ranboo, niki and/or jack?? idk brain did the storming and its all messy hsdnshhfjsjz (btw! i know it's a lot of CCs so feel free to remove some or do the ones ur only comfy with !!! take care nd stay safe !!! luv ya <3 (/p))

AS SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO GAME DESIGN, CHARACTER, AND PLOT DESIGN YOU BET I CAN MAKE THE READER AND INDIE GAME DEV (and aaaa ty for adding jack!!! I think he's really neat and not enough people acknowledge him :))!!)

Multiple x indie game dev!artist!y/n

pairings: quackity, tommy, dream, ranboo, niki, jack manifold (separate) x indie game dev!artist!y/n

pronouns: they/them

other information on the reader:

. faceless

. knows how to code

. artist

. streams them drawing video game characters

. minor

. makes indie / horror games

form: headcanons

genre: platonic, fluff(??)

warnings: horror games / horror mods, ranboo enderwalk lore in his section

abbreviations: y/n -> your name

quackity

okay let's get the obvious out of the way; definitely going to be the type of person that's like "I'm going to play this game first after you're finished" yk? playfully ofc, n playfully fight with anyone who says the same thing (*cough* Wilbur, tommy, dream *cough*)

he probably wouldn't be on your art streams often – he doesn't really enjoy watching people draw, but he would want to see the finished pics

he would happily be on voice chat with you while you're drawing though!! :D

would be proud to answer any questions you have about character / scene / etc designs!!

"quackity!! so for this character – check your dms for a current picture – would red or purple antenna be better? also, two or four antenna?"

"*gasp* you're asking me?? 🥺" /j

"y'know what, nevermind, chat wh-"

"NO WAIT WAIT"

"so what do you think?"

also, if you do end up sending him the finished pics of the art he will hype you tf up !!!!

would try to get you make joke games – not like actually, it's just an ongoing bit between you two!

if you make a game for him – or give him a sneak peek of a game before anyone else he's going to freak out!! and he won't really know what to say bc putting feelings into words is hard

if y'all ever meet up and you're fine w hugs he's gonna give you a huge hug, hoping that makes up for the lack of words to describe how just,, proud of you he is bc he really really is!!

you're not even in your 20s yet and you can make video games, or help with them?? not to mention how creative you are with the characters and story line??? he's amazed by you

might actually cry /pos if you base a character off of him

like let's say a part of a puzzle is to get a rubber duck and place it into a pond to get the next hint or thing you need – only when he plays it on stream, he doesn't know anything about the game, so you're watching and waiting for him to get there

when he does get there – he finds out the duck has a beanie and has a white ring appear around it that flashes to life before fading out after picking it up, signifying it was the right thing to get

at first he doesn't really notice the ring, "oh! that animation is different than normal" he notes, but mainly focuses on the beanie, comparing it to himself before he glances at chat to see them freaking out over the planet duck reference

then he's just talking about it, shocked of course but flattered, and then you type in chat "you helped me a ton with things I couldn't decide during this game, I couldn't not add you! :)" everyone's just :(((( !!! /pos

overall supportive n proud, maybe a bit loud about games in progress, but just a really nice guy in general :)

tommy

he is ABSOLUTELY loud about your games in progress!! if you don't want something said you have to tell that to him before telling him or else he's going to brag about how cool it is the next time he streams

"chat!! chat, y/n is making this new game and they told me that one of the outfits you can collect for the player is going to be based off me!- right!! that sounds pog!!"

if he ever accidentally let's anything slip on stream that he was supposed to say, everyone who's a fan of you is just like "wow! suddenly! I cannot hear anymore!", sometimes they're like that even if it was okay to say

the just like being surprised :)

as for art streams, he'll try his best to tune in but obviously won't be there all the time! he's usually very active in chat too! likes being on call with you while you do art streams if you let him!

he once convinced you to make a texture pack and a shader (meant for both to be active at the same time), the fans loved it and a lot of them use it more often than the original!!

tommy however, not to much, proud of you bc that must've been a ton of work!! but at some time it slipped his mind that you make indie and horror games; I think we all know he doesn't do well with horror games

so you liking horror and such made the textures look more ominous and just make it look like and area you don't want to be in, and the spook goes up even more with the shader!! it's darker than usual, there's unusual fog, the portals look too dangerous now, so on and so forth yk

so,, tommy didn't use the texture pack for long;;

if you ever raid him after you're done streaming and he has a question, he's literally just gonna ask you on stream

"y/n raid? oh! are they still here?" when you confirm you're in chat, he continues "great! okay I had a question about your new game that's going to be available soon and how to download it-"

fans love how casual you guys are about game information, like you had to teach him how to export a game character he made on the website you usually make yours on (it was for a fun stream) and it was just a simple back and forth but everyone's like omg :((( omg them :((

also if you're the type of person to go insane over tiny details in other games, he will absolutely tease you for it

like you can just be going on and on about how this game had a sentence at the start that had a backhanded meaning by the end and he's just gonna call you a nerd (genuinely thinks is cool how much of the small things you notice in games though)

dream

COMPLAINING ABOUT CODING AND HOW HARD IT IS 🤝🤝

and if you took other coding classes hoping that I'd help with video game coding he'd just listen to you talk about it

"I actually took robotics for a while before because the school didn't have any video game coding classes and I was hoping it'd help either way" "oh?" "it,, it didn't help, it's so hard to code robots and considering how fast I caught onto video game code you think it'd be easier to understand the robot code" "yeah, that sounds reasonable" "NOPE,, WHY R THEY SO DIFFERENT I ALMOST FAILED" "D:"

fanartists like those moments, if one of those talks happen expect a bit of fanart of just dream and you chilling while you talk and he listens, the art always gives off comfy vibes n it's just cute :)

offering him to play a semi-rough draft of the demo so that he could see if it's good or what you needed to do to make it more enticing for the player

power duo fr fr o/

people like comparing y'all to hackers sometimes bc y'all know how to code???

you play into the bit with the fans though and honestly it's so fun !!!

fans: omg,, hackers (affectionate),,,

you next time you stream: hacker voice; I'm in

AND THEY GOT SHOCKED??? LIKE THEY FORGOT YOU CAN SEE THE STUFF THEY POST????

wouldn't be able to watch your art streams for long because he would get side tracked, the streams are just too under stimulating for his brain to focus on, but he'd hang around as long as he could though :)

would be glad to be on call with you while you're doing an art stream – though if he has is game sounds on you may occasionally have to repeat a question that was aimed at him

you're also in his streams when you can :)

also, you like sending donations to communicate rather than chat

one stream dream turned off his donos because you wouldn't stop giving him money 💀

being friends with such a popular creator and being a game creator yourself has it's downs as well

nothing thats too hard to deal with – the most common one is actually kinda funny – some people will slide in your dms acting like they're dream and just got locked out of his account, trying to get you to make them a game

like ??? do they think that dream would mssg you over Twitter or insta?? he has your phone number bro ,😭

also!!! when dream plays through new games you made he complements the small things and complements how hard something must've been to code :)

and I'm ngl, he kinda sucks with every game he plays at first but he's a quick learner so dw :)

would be glad to help if you're having a difficult time choosing between things too! except he'll answer right away without any teasing

"dreammm" "y/nnnn" "for this area should I do like shattered stone walls or mossy stone walls like with vines n stuff?" "depends on the vibe you want, shattered stone would give it a dangerous and uneasy undertone and mossy stone would be more of ominous, if that makes sense?" "oh! okay, thank youuu!!"

ofc if you didn't have a specific vibe or couldn't choose which was better he would just give a straight up answer so you didn't stress out trying to choose one \o/

would absolutely like being a guest in a drawing stream, he isn't the best at art or character design but it's fun to see him try

maybe you both plus some friends do a "drawing Minecraft mobs from memory" stream? ,, with that the thing is; his would mostly be relatively accurate if you could understand wtf he was drawing 😭

dream may or may or have some of your art as his phone homescreen, he loves your style so much :(( /pos

ranboo

first off; he's incredibly impressed!! like!!! you made this game?? this playable game, completely from scratch??? how??

also you may or may not have made a small Minecraft mod for him to tryout on stream,, little gift from you to both chat n ranboo 🤲

its literally all based off his lore,, if you get close to obsidian and crying obsidian fallen down from Undertale starts playing, if you splash water on yourself 1) you get hurt 2) your screen blacks out and when it comes back, your in a different place than before, some things art taken, maybe a few extra things are added

and there's a 50% chance that when you go into your "enderwalk" state (the blackout) you blow something up, so there may or may not be an explosion somewhere nearby, you also have a 20% chance of building something small in you enderwalk state :)

he found it so incredibly cool!!! chat was crying while complementing you while ranboo thanked you and complemented you over n over again

he won't shut up about how cool the mod is for several weeks, maybe even a few months, it's just so cool!!

will absolutely use it as a comeback if you let him; "oh? you got first place? well y/n made me a really really cool mod, so who's the actual winner here?"

will absolutely play every single game you come out with – it doesn't matter if it's his style or not – and he thoroughly enjoys all of the games as well

as for art streams, he will absolutely try to tune in every time he can!! active in chat and donos!!

doesn't really like being in art streams – like in call is fine but actually drawing? not really, he just doesn't love drawing in front of a ton of people

but will join an art stream if you ask

will listen to you rant about whatever, even if he doesn't understand it! like will listen to you go on and on about how well a game set up the atmosphere or maybe talking about how difficult coding is, and he'll converse back with you but won't really understand yk?

"ranboo I just played a really cool game do you wanna hear about it?" "yeah yeah- of course!!" "ok so like, the atmosphere was so well put together- like it was a horror game and I didn't even see the monster but the vibe was so well put together that it was still unnerving!!" "that's awesome! how did the atmosphere get set up the best and when you saw the monster, was it scarier?"

yk what I mean? like engages in convo so you don't feel bad about talking so much, plus shows his interest without the constant "hm?" "cool" etc a lot of people do and even though he does talk more than the acknowledgment sounds many people make he also manages to almost never sidetrack you and when he does it's on accident :)

if your way of learning is teaching then he'll gladly be the person you teach it to if you want! most likely won't use the information therefore his brain won't retain it but that's not on you, and the whole reason is so you can learn, not him, so! ^^

will make sure to take care of yourself, and he has a through way of telling if you have or not bc he's known you for long enough to know that even if you try to hide it a little bit of your tired voice shows so he knows if you've been sleeping like you should

also friends with you on discord, where you have your Spotify attached,, you like listening to music while you work on things that aren't sound related and if it's active later than it should be he's going to confront you

overall wholesome mixed in with a little pain bc both of you are like "ah yes, lore <3" and like to see fans cry /lh

niki

I feel like this is expected but if you need to get extra motivation she would probably be your go-to

she hypes you up but like, in a sweet and quiet kinda way, where as everyone else here would probably be relatively loud ;;

honored to be on an art stream if you invite her :')

and would absolutely watch your art streams when she can :D hypes you up in chat

also compliments, tons of compliments!

might call you a prodigy? bc you're so young but can already make games?? and make income off of them?? and do really good art??? and so much more??? like tell me that's not prodigy energy,

if you make a video game character based off her she might cry,, like in a positive way obviously but like at the same time :(( no don't cry!!

I say might bc it's dependant on how she feels that day yk? like she might just have the almost-cry wobble to her voice or she might actually, if that makes sense?

she genuinely loves your art style!! even if it's pointy and kinda creepy she really likes it!!

yk the "awww (name) :(" /pos she does sometimes? 100% does that with you

there are a few compilations of just "aww y/nnn" on YouTube and all the comments on those videos are just crying over y'all /pos

would be happy to help if you're stuck between some options in a game, but would feel kinda bad bc it's your game, you're supposed to be the one choosing the stuff

assure her that it's okay n stuff n she'll be ok tho !

I can't decide if she would play your games or not

bc on one hand she's a huge supporter of you and your work and would like to experience it first hand

but on the other hand she isn't the best with scry games,,

so maybe she'd do both? maybe she'd react on stream to a playthrough, maybe your playthrough? or maybe she would only play some of your games? I haven't decided so up to you I suppose!

jack manifold

genuinely amazed by your talent and will make it quite clear!!

can and will go on tangents about you on stream if someone brings it up

everyone is so :(( <333 /pos bc of it

will play the games you've made as soon as he can

if there are different games that line up in a story he'll make sure to play them in order :)

people also sometimes compare you two to hackers bc you code a ton and he kinda looks like a hacker

difference here is that both of you play into the bit, it's tons of fun!!

listen, I know he doesn't draw much but I am a firm believer that he will doodle his favorite character(s) from your games after he's done playing them

like after he plays a game of yours then expect a small doodle in your texts :)

you compiled a bunch of these doodles into one picture and made it you phone background and he only found out after y'all met irl and it caught the corner of his eye and he registered "oh hey wait that looks familiar"

he found out while recording the vlog n when editing, the editor was like "hey let's leave this in, it'd be funny if the fans knew right?" ,, the fans were crying for two weeks,, /pos

and speaking of drawings; he would like to be on a drawing stream with you, thinks it's be tons of fun!! :D

and he's usually free to call while your streaming and doesn't mind so if you wanna talk to him while drawing just call :)

and he will watch the streams he can make it to!! he may leave a bit early but he stays for the majority of it

if you make a character based off of him he's going to constantly thank you and brag about how cool you are anywhere he can

"hello manifolders, if you haven't done it already go download (game name)! I'm there!" with a ss of his character from the game and he'll reply to the tweet on his alt to talk more about the game and how much he really liked it :)

another that'll help you were you need it! he'll make it into a joke before anything else, but he'll get to the point

taglist (sorry i forgot to do it on the past two): @cvsmixplant // @l0ver0fj0y // @youngstarfishdinosaur

#asked and answered #request #headcanons #platonic!reader #platonic fanfic #platonic x reader #jack manifold x reader #niki x reader #dream x reader #tommy x reader #quackity x reader #ranboo x reader #streamer!au #mcyt x reader #streamer!reader #streamer!y/n #fanfic #headcanon #☁️ anon #game dev!reader #game dev! reader #artist!reader #artist! reader #platonic ranboo x reader #platonic dream x reader #platonic tommy x reader #platonic quackity x reader #platonic niki x reader #platonic jack manifold x reader #jack x reader

[serlinesstuff]

Some of the random quotes I have of unordinary characters 😹😹

unORDINARY Headcanons

-

Isen has really fluffy hair

- like I just feel like his hair is rlly fluffy

- the orange parts are deff softer than the black dyed parts

- it's annoying cus he's sm taller than most people as well

Sera wanted to be a hair stylist when she was younger

- I just feel like she was all for the life of styling hair and making hair designs and all that

- she mostly wanted to do smth her mom wouldn't approve of to spite her

- though she planned against it after learning that hair styling was really fking hard especially since she never rlly did it before

- she always had servants or other people doing her hair so

Remi has a billion teddies/stuffies

- pretty sure this is canon but she has a whole collection of stuffed animals in her dorm

- it takes up 35% of dorm space bc she always leaves them everywhere

- she has a whole calendar and schedule for which days she'll cuddle with which teddies

- her favorite is the pale yellow one Rei got her at a carnival

Arlo can drive (and is trying to teach everyone else)

- he took lessons a long time before he could take the test and passed with flying colours

- started driving when he was 16 but he doesn't really go out a lot

- usually just drives other ppl around (Remi owes him a lot for the amount of times he has drove her somewhere)

- tried teaching everyone else (John, Remi, Sera, Blyke, Isen & even Elaine) so he wouldn't have to bring them places all the time

- did not work out well. Isen kept driving around in circles, Remi kept forgetting the brakes from the start, Sera understood everything but pretended not to so she could annoy Arlo, John couldn't and refused to learn from Arlo, and Blyke was to scared of damaging the car

- Elaine watched Arlo try teaching Isen for one second before running away bc she didn't want to heal anyone

(I may make a separate post of this)

Blyke has accidentally lit a bunch of things on fire

- I headcanon his ability is kind of heat related (not based on heat but it's just an aspect)

- he has to be extra careful when practicing his ability cause he once set a building on fire

- this is why he'll usually practise at the turf war area, bc there's not rlly anything to burn or catch on fire

- has “accidentally” put Isen's uniform jacket on fire

Cecile rlly likes crime documentaries

- when she's stressed or angry at smth (John) she'll watch some of her favorite crime documentaries

- she likes the ones that are for informational and also likes to write some of the facts down (she uses them as convo starters)

- also rlly likes murder mysteries (the more real, the better) and when she has no homework she'll put on a long one and spend her day watching and trying to solve it

- tried to get Isen into watching them as well so he can help her solve them but he chickened out five minutes in and ran away

Isen has a bunch of strange convo starters

- just like Cecile he has some rlly strange conversation starters

- he knows some strange facts or a lot of info on topics and can talk about them for hours (blyke has once timed it)

- most of the time when he can't sleep he'll search up some random thing and go into a paradox of researching topic after topic

Both John and Blyke are like really clingy

- pretty sure this is canon as well but

- Blyke's one of those people who spams you when you don't respond

- Remi or Isen will leave their phone for one second and come back to 100+ messages from him

- John just gets really mopey when he gets rejected to hang out canon again

- he'll be all stubborn about it and keep begging and if the person keeps saying no he'll weep in the corner

Arlo is the best cook out of the main 6

- I'm not talking about normal foods this guy can cook five star meals in he kitchen from his apartment

- anytime anyone comes over he'll make a five course meal with an appetizer and three sides

- most of the time people hang out at his place bc he cooks really well

- Remi said he's really good at cooking and he just scoffed

- idk why but I can see him liking French onion soup

#unordinary #unordinary john #unordinary sera #unordinary seraphina #unordinary arlo #unordinary remi #unordinary blyke #unordinary isen #unordinary elaine #unordinary cecile #webtoon #unordinary webtoon #headcanons

[artistlara]

🎐PINNED POST ✦﹒₊

I don’t think home’s a place, rather a person. Being in someones arms is home for me

Outdated, check new pinned here

꒰ abt info below the cut! ꒱

Hello hello ! ~ヾ(＾∇＾) welcome to my humble abode. Take a seat, get comfy and have some tea🍵

There’s not much going on here other than a few reblogs, art, and some incoherent rambles but make yourself feel at home while you’re here! <3

Some stuff to note:

This is not a self-ship blog BUT I do post self shipping art and the likes of it. If you’re not comfy with that then you’re free to mute the tag “self ship” or just don’t follow me! (If you’re curious abt who my f/o’s are then here’s a carrd!)

My inbox is open for requests! It may take a lot of time before I actually get to it, but you’re free to send in your oc or a character u like! I still have the right to decline though.

English is not my first language. I’d say I can speak fluent english but I do still get some words wrong here and there. So please be patient with me if I don’t fully understand something.

My art is free to use as icons/pfp and such! Please just credit me somewhere people can see. The only thing I don’t allow are resposts. (For Friends: Credit isn’t needed but v appreciated :D dw abt using my art!)

I’ll add more to this when I remember anything else but for now this can do. Below are more info abt me and my interests!

ABOUT ME🍵

Call me Lara! I also go by Lin or Art so choose ur pick. Any other nicknames are for friends only ty

I'm a minor but not below 16, so please don't be weird!

I sometimes draw! I’m usually busy irl so I’m not able to draw often, but I try!

I'm asian, not comfy on specifying where I'm from (unless we’re close) so that's all I'll say

I have an Insta but it’s quite dead. I’m a lil more unhinged here on Tumblr so this is ur best bet to seeing what I have to offer.

CURRENT INTERESTS🍡

bold - what i’m currently fixated on

italic - i’m into it rn and down to talking abt it!

Sky COTL

Friday Night Funkin’

Genshin Impact

‼️ All my Genshin art is PLATONIC unless I state otherwise (this also excludes the self ship art). I do ship certain characters but I’d rather keep things in a platonic light most of the time bc I yearn for more familial/platonic fanart.

Eddsworld

‼️ All my Eddsworld art revolving around the main cast is PLATONIC. Please do not tag any of it with ship tags. The only ship I’ll allow being tagged is “paultryck.” The way I portray Pau and Pat is ambiguous, so you‘re free to view it as either platonic or romantic!

Other Interests I don’t actively talk abt but they’re here!

Technoblade (not d/s/m/p)

Cuphead

Mystic Messenger

Cells at Work!!

PS. I don’t usually like associating myself in the fandom since it can be a whole trainwreck sometimes! So these are labelled “current interests” than “fandoms I’m in.” I’d rather stay in my little corner to vibe and have fun. <3

My tags are a mess and I should probably fix them at some point but here’s some basics:

#🍵lara does art- art tag basically, you’ll find all the art I posted from (mostly) doodles to (a few) finished pieces.

#🍵rb - all the stuff I reblog pretty much

#🌻friends! - a tag I use for my friends whenever it’s abt them <3 they all have separate tags for names.

#🍵the introvert wants to speak - text posts aka my incoherent rambles abt my thoughts and such, dunno if you’ll go thru it but just letting u know.

I’ll add more if needed. Please do let me know if you want me to tag certain things! Majority of my warnings have either cw or tw before it.

Well that’s all, if you ever end up following me I hope u enjoy ur stay! 🍶

Will add more if I remember stuff or smth changes <3

#🎐pinned post #important

[sapienap]

hi hi hi!!! so i just recently hit 800 n i was going to save this for my 1k celebration, but genuinely i am just full of so much love for everyone that i couldn’t hold myself back from doing this so !!!! appreciation post for mutuals!!! n this is absolutely wild to me, bc ive been on tumblr for over 4 years now, n remade this blog at the end of september to both restart and because i was getting super into mcyt n wanted a blog to focus on that, and the fact that ive grown this much since then is absolutely insane to me!!!

im feeling full of love for all of my mutuals (aka people i consider my friends <3) so!!! have written messages for u all :DD i mostly wrote them for people i talk to a lot/look up to, so pls dont feel bad if i didnt write one for u!!!! pls absolutely follow everyone in this list they are all amazing people n deserve ur follow !!!! obs not a complete list bc bad memory but just. they are all so cool :]

also thought i would say this here but im moving blogs lol im @sapienap (wont let me tag bc new </3)

atlas ( @fear-epidemic ) atlas!!!!! oh my god okay so first off??? the fact that our friendship began bc of u thinking my icon was dan howell when it was mr. wilbur soot is sucha  cursed fact n i think that describes us very well <3 u r genuioely (i refuse to fix that mistake) such a nice person n uve just listened to me ramble about the weirdest shit n sat there as i watched anakin skywalker be hot n helped me with characterizations n i cant thnak u enough for that!!! ily <3

azzie ( @thediscsaga ) azzie azzie azzie!!!!!! the fact that we became friends bc u looked at me n just decided to call me ‘bestie’ n now here we r is so MINDBLOWING i love you so much!!!!! u r genuinely one of my bestest friends even tho we dont talk as much n i lov u sm ur always there to support me with whatever i do!!! ur always so supportive n i just. i lov u sm !!!! ur one of my favorite people n make this hell site so much better !!!!!! if im being honest lowkey anytime i lowkey feel panicked i just go to ur blog bc it honestly calms me sm :]

beet ( @homophobicpunz ) beet!!!!! okay okay okay the fact that the first time i saw ur main’s user n instantly was like “ohmy god i love that” n now here we r???? friends??? n i get to call YOU my friend??? amazing oh my god. and the fact that uve dragged me into so much shit that i lov now bc of u??? also amaizng. i just love the fact uve dragged me into So Much stuff (daredevil n all of those shows, punz, n more!!! like lowkey darth maul but only lowkey as i ahvent watched the show hes in yet dsjf) n uve honestly been so supportive of me throughout eveythting n just !!!!!! i cant think of much more to say other than ily :]

cam ( @camdotcom ) cam!!!! oh my god okay i jsut. honestly ur so nice ????? anytime im down u always manage to send an ask whenever im not feeling great n always send me smth funny n it always makes me feel so much better!!! ur genuinely one of the best people i know!!! ur always so great at everything n u genuienly make my tumblr experience so much better !!!! ur always such a great person :] n ily !!! im also ur little brother so <333

clay ( @its5undy ) tubs!!!!! my fellow southerner !!!!! im so so happy ive gotten to knwo u !!!! all bc of our weird ass server!!!! i lov u sm!!!! ur one of the brightest people i know n im so glad to have u be someone who forces me to go to sleep when i feel tired instead of encouraging me to stay up <3 n ur so cool !!!! u may not think it bur ur absolutely one of the coolest mfs on this dumb app <33 ur alos my older brother so u cant say anything bad about me Ever

daniel ( @rvnboo ) dan !!!! my sweet homie !!! oh mygod i do not remember how i met u at ALL bc my memory sis o bad but i am so glad i knwo u !!!! i get so happy every single time i get an ask from u !!! u r such a nice persobn n a great joy !!!! every single time i see u on my dash i go “:DDDD daniel!!!!!” anytime i see u in my notes i just go “!!! dan!!” honestly i associate ranboo with u now!!! i see u n go “! dan!!” n i just lov u sm??? i honestly think of u as my younger sibling n i just lov u sm

dream ( @enderrdream ) bad!!! omg ok honestly i dont remember how we met bc ur Old (/j) but seriously!!! ive been friends with u for So Long (even tho i lost u for some time) n now!!!! we r friends again!!!! n ive claimed u as my older brother !!!! we r the only valid sbi dynamic <33 but truly!!! i think u r one of the people i have known the longest!!! u ahve done so much for em n i can never thank u enough!!! i just lov u sm !!! im so horrible at explainging this but just. i love u sm <333

gogy ( @strawberrygogy ) berry!!! oh my god the fact that i ahvent known u that long buit we r so close??? we have a ship that can rival dreamnotfound n have matching cases we r the only bicthes on this entire site <333 people that send weird asks after me being trans have No Bitches KFDHYGGH but seriously !!! im so fucking glad i got to know u!!! the fact we became friends bc i saw ur account, n foudn out u read the serpent king???? that is WILD to me!!! we r Bestest Friends n i fuckign love that and our 420 mile separation <3333 i lov u !!!!!!

hari ( @netheritedream ) hari hari hari !!!!! heblo heblo!!!! god the fact that we’re in different timezones n never get to talk is so homophobic i cant believe time /j but seriously!!!! i cannot believe we never get to talk we r platonic soulmates n i can barely count the amount of times we have talked the last week </3 and the factt hat u joined n saw ME n thoguht “ah, yes. friend.” n now??? we r platonic soulmates !!!! n uve helped me make so many new friends n have even closer friendships !!! n im just. i love you so much im so glad to have you as my friend <3

jannat ( @technosoot ) maya !! my memory is so bad i cannot remember how we met at all but !!! i am so fucking happy i became friends with u !!! u r genuinely such a bright part of my life !!!! i see u n go “:DDDDDD JANNAT !!!!!!!!!” u r such a great person n i will alwayts be here for u !!!! i love u so much !!!! my brain has stopped workin but i just lov u so much omg !!!!!

may ( @notfoundgeorge ) may !!!!! omg okay honestly i look up to u so mjch!!!!!! ur one of my favorite gifmakers on this entire app!!! genuinely ur such a nice person???? n if im being honest???? i got So Happy when u followed me back !!!! bc im like. ur so cool n i was like “wow SHE followed ME??” n just!!!! i lov u !!!

rain ( @theartofmining ) rain !!!! oh my god okay ur one of the few people that have seen my fucking. chaotic side which id ont truly think many people have seen so im glad u have that honor <3333 but seriously i lov u sm shfhgfhg u were tehre as i. hitpost limit and ask limit in the span of less than a hour n u rlly encouraged me when i freaked ouytndjfghgj u ahve been there for me for So Long and i just !!!! lov u sm

roni ( @youngjustices ) roni !!! ive known u for so long n even tho i truly havent gotten to talk to u much, i lov u so much !!!! uve been so kind to me n have helped me with so much n i just. i love you so much !!!! ur such a great person n deserve everything in the world n even tho u r taking a break from mcytblr, im just !!! ok lov u sm

sakshi ( @prettyboydream ) smiley !!!!! ok first off: i wish u were getting cuddles. okay next i cannot beleieve that we r friends !!!! i ddint spell that right but ANYWAYS u r so mf cooler than me!!!! one of the coolest people on this entire fucking app !!!! i do not know how i became ur friend but im so fucking happy i am friends with u !!! ur so great and i just. i love u sm

sam ( @dogboyurahara ) league !!!! i am. god im so glad i became friends with u !!!! u walways come n say some of the weirdest shit but that is literally. the highlight of my day i just love you SO MUCH uve always been so kind to me and i just !!!!! i lov u so mcuh !!!!! ever since becoming friends with u ive rlly discovered myself n i love that fact kdhjgfghggh ur always so nice n just. i lov u sorry i say that so much

techno ( @karda ) TECHIE!!!!!!! TECHIE OH MY GOD IDK HOW I TRICKED U INTO BEING MY FRIEND BC UR GENUIENLYT!!!!!! SO COOL!!!! UR SO TALENTED!!!!! n now!!!! im friends with u!!!!!!! im ur little brother !!!!! n ur my older brother !!!!!!! n just !!!!!!!!!! i love u so mich !!!!!!! ur always so supportive of any and everything that i do !!!!! u always offer to do thinsg for em n just !!!!!! i lov u so mcuh!!!!! u always make me so happy bc i see u n im like “:DD thats techie !!! thats my brother !!” n i just. lov u sm

theseus ( @clownspartys ) tommy !!!!!!!!! tommy oh my god i ahvent known u that long but???? we r best bros??? we r the coolest mother fuckers???? we jsut!!! clicked !!! n its so easy talking to u!!!! we just go n YELL at each other in discord n i think that is very valid of us!!! u truly are one of my favorite people on here !!! anytime i see u im so happy to see u n im just !!!!!! i lov u sm !!!!

wilbur ( @pigstepmp3 ) fundy !!!! oh my god okay genuienly. i love you. ur so supportive of me n anytijme im always down ur there to call me bubba n pull me right back up !!!! anytime anythign happens ur always there like “u absolute buffoon, i lov u sm” n i just!!!! i lov u !!!! ur my older brother n have helped me so much i just love you so much <3333

n then for some other cool people you all should follow :]

@pvnz / @gogyapologist / @fruitbur / @technoblaed / @dreamsclock / @dreamnap / @wooteena / @timedeo / @dreamsmp / @sootwilbur / @wilbysoot / @nickwilding / @jschlatts / @helenspirals / @darkmttrcat / @dreamwastakenalt / @hearty-an0n / @lesbiangogy / @imgns / @dogboykarljacobs / @berenstein / @tommylnnits / @dreamslikeshoney / @enderanboo / @veel556 / @raining-acid / @stick3rzzz / @moo-moo-meadows / @dreampfp / @eret

#sapnap.txt

[ravenclaw-questions-gone-writing]

Outline # -1 Abandoned Lore (Trinity)

@fanfics-and-fangirling

I have learned my lesson, I will be writing these on Google docs and then copy-pasting onto Tumblr. While I am on GD, I figured I might as well open the docs I used to write the actual fic. Man, I went through a ton of hoops to get where I am. I will be using the most coherent ones for reference. 

I can literally track my thought process as I went through writing all the different versions and I still have no idea how tf I went from this to dropping a flaming papermache whale on Ra’s Al Ghul. And I will die mad about it. Which means more meticulous notes in the future I guess.

Also, I’d like to apologize for how long it took to get this out, I have no sense of time whatsoever and as always, there’s a lot more than expected. This was 7 pages long

Original Ramble Post 

Like most of my stories, the MC is an OCI - reincarnator brought into a fictional world they once watched. (Because I am obsessed with that trope.)

I now find the original name I had for her cringy and out-of-place given these are norse gods. So, from now on her name is Lokka, which is the female version of Loki

There’s a whole ass backstory about the transition of godly names and power I won’t go into. Just think Thor and female Thor kind of thing I guess. She’s basically seen as a spare Loki but it’s also a respected position.

Was tempted to name her Sigyn since Marvel doesn’t care about actual norse myth relations. No, Idc that there’s a canon Sigyn.

If you’re curious, the original name was Aradia. Yes, like the queen of witches.

MC is an asgardian, the daughter of the librarian in the royal palace and a blacksmith

She managed to get an apprenticeship under Loki and is occasionally taught by Frigga. She also learns under Eir when both her royal teachers are busy.

Lokka found her way into the central plane, probably having found it’s location from Loki’s notes and is unaware that it’s unstable.

So, Lokka is in the central plane, having the time of her life exploring new lands when she stumbles across a crying Marinette who is very lost 

Unlike Lokka, Marinette does not know where she is or what is going on. She literally just tripped into a portal and has no way home.

Lokka takes Marinette under her wing and promises to help her find a way home

Problem is, she doesn’t know which of the three universes Marinette is from.

Even if/when she finds out that the girl is from MLB-verse, she still wouldn’t know which one that is because she has no reference to which world is which. Only that Marinette is probably not from Asgard.

At this point, she is unaware she lived in Marvel, she just knows Asgard is Norse Mythology.

So they continue to wander the central plane, Marinette ends up picking up a card guardian for a pet, accidentally becoming a cardcaptor. 

Marinette has trouble pronouncing Lokka and Lokka gives Mari permission to call her Cosette (pre-reincarnation name)

Meanwhile, Ra’s sends Damian and Talia into the Central plane for combat experience and resource gathering.

Ra’s might be 700 years old, he might have access to the Central plane but he sure doesn’t know about magic or how it came to be or the current state of it. He might know something’s off because all the inhabitants have been increasingly on edge and the weather’s been stranger than usual but he didn’t deemed it important

Notably, he has never seen anyone other than those who he’d sent in himself in the central planes (CP, from now on bc I am getting tired of typing the entire thing out) so as far as he knows, the CP’s only entrance point is under his control.

Talia and Damian, who’s still going by Hafid, go hunting for resources and training

They separate for a bit for individual hunting/training time

Marinette and Cosette (Lokka) stumble across Damian’s camp

Misunderstandings occur, Damian fights them, more accurately he fights Cosette

Cosette tries to protect Marinette while also making sure not to harm her opponent

It was harder than she expected considering her opponent was a child

Asgardian training pulls through and she is able to do both

Damian’s tied up, Marinette is confused, and Cosette does not want to deal with this

Negotiation time

Marinette can’t speak Arabic, Damian doesn’t know french, and Cosette has all-speak

This means Cosette’s sitting there, having to repeat everything the kids say to each other for translation’s sake

also misunderstandings before the kids realize allspeak is a thing

Cosette is stuck with two kids who don’t like each other, one of which barely puts up with her so she does what most adults do when kids are too troublesome

Distract them: she does magic tricks with actual magic

Damian+Marinette are fascinated, Cosette accidentally gains two magic students 

even though she’s still learning herself and all she has for guidance right now are Loki’s and Frigga’s notes

So, the trio end up travelling together

Damian demands Marinette should at least be able to fight so they train her too

They also figure out that Marinette and Damian’s worlds are not the same.

Cosette drills some value of life, basic morals, and feminism into Damian’s head

Marinette and Damian (Hafid) have trouble pronouncing each other’s names

They chose nicknames for each other from Cosette’s bedtime stories

Marinette is obviously angel or Tenko

Damian is gets Kabane, the name of a half demon

Kabane later changes to Kasane, protective blade

Yes, Cosette was/is a weeb and yes, they still mispronounce names which defeats the whole purpose but at least they kids don’t notice now even if Cosette is cringing every time they

They run into another card guardian and this one goes to Damian.

Cosette does not pout about this, it would be very immature

One training montages, several fights, a couple language lessons, and an abandoned (and Cosette-raided) house later, Cosette gets to the part of Loki’s notes where she figures out that the CP is collapsing in on itself and uh-oh

She tells the kids the gist of it but they’re too smart, ask all the right questions, and end up figuring out the important parts of situation that she’s trying to keep from them

Cosette is both impressed and a little put out, mostly impressed because not only did they figure out extremely complex magic, they also mostly remained level headed.

Marinette wants to rescue the card guardians and for once Damian is backing her up so Coestte gives up the notion of returning home and they go collect the guardians.

Remember, DC and MLB universes are closing in on each other 

MCU is drifting away

If they don’t collect the guardians, Cosette would have the time to just drop them off at their world collection points and head back to hers

After collecting a couple guardians, they end up finding Talia and explain the situation to her.

Talia joins the gang, she may or may not be plotting a marriage

They raid a couple more houses, collect the 54 card guardians, and complete the power transfer ritual (replacing the Yue’s trial because the cards are the guardians)

The cards end up latching onto the three kids. 

Marinette gets the Mistress title, Damian gets Sun Guardian, and Cosette gets Moon guardian.

Originally Cosette was going to be the mistress and Marinette the Moon guardian but because of the way I’ve decided magic works in this world - explaining that will need a whole other post - if Marinette is the moon guardian and gets the Ladybug miraculous, she will - for lack of better word - get sick and possibly die... or not.

Y’know what, it made sense at the time. But now that I think about it, we’re going back to the original idea.

Cosette’s the Card Mistress, Marinette’s the Moon guardian and Damian’s the Sun guardian.

Spoiler alert: that is a plot point for tropes-verse.

The completion of the ritual breaks puts CP deteriorations in high acceleration

Damian and Talia get into their circle, Cosette and Marinette in the other

Damian doesn’t have any cards bc he doesn’t want his grandfather trying to get to them. He and Talia agreed Ra’s would only know about the CP’s destruction. He does, however, have a CP beast that they picked up.

CP beast: magical creature that was born of CP’s magical residue or smth

Damian’s looks like a Teddiursa (Teddy bear pokemon) it is not

They have a notebook from a raided house detailing CP’s deterioration for proof

Cosette goes with Marinette because she can’t make it back to her universe and in the event that Marinette’s also from Cosette’s universe, she won’t be alone

They separate with the promise of meeting again.

At this point, I have had several differing ideas

They all go into DC world because they aren’t sure of Marinette’s world

Child trio goes into MLB world and Talia tells Ra’s Damian died

Everyone goes into MLB and Ra’s finds out about the collapse when he tries going in himself and finds out he can’t and just assumes they died

Y’all, I’m starting to see why I can’t do one-shots…

One of the things I forgot to mention in the rambling post is that while Marvel-verse was pulling away, it also messed with the time regulation thing, a day in the Maribat-verse will

Time in CP was very messed up

Kind of assumed readers could piece it together but I figured might as well make it obvious and straight up say it

MLBU: Cosette and Marinette arrive safely 

Marinette is delivered home and Cosette has to figure something out

They find out Marinette has only been gone for a week

Marinette has some separation anxiety for about three days

Cosette slowly realizing this is an MLB universe and having a crisis

Cosette gets adopted by the Dupain-Chengs and starts working at the bakery

I have not figured out ages for Cosette

MLB goes like most Maribat fics pre-gotham because I’m lazy

Will likely be adjusted if I ever actually write this fic

Except Cosette steps in when things got too far and Paris has 3 heroes

Cosette is the known as the Sorciere or Lokka

Her uniform is just her asgardian armor

Good but misguided Adrien, Cosette probably adopts him too

Love square goes platonic and Cosette is glad this rom-com is over

Magic tutoring continues

Cosette is neutral with Fu and fascinated by the miraculous

You remember those ghost interactions? Those are filtering in

One of the first things to merge is the internet, because it doesn’t have a physical body and it’s just waves of information

News and discoveries between the world are being swapped

Given what I remember from DC and dimension travel, it wouldn’t be surprising if they figured out universes were merging.

The news about JL and Paris’s situation are causing all kinds of confusion

Cosette beings looking for information on Damian

As the physical world begins merging, there’s pockets of space where you can slip from one world into another; not quite portals but close

Eventually the trip to NY became a trip to Gotham because their plane slipped between planes (sorry, I saw the chance and I had to take it.) but yeah, that happened.

There’s quite a few details I’m forgetting

DCU: Damian and Talia arrive ok and report bare basics to Ra’s

It has also only been a week

Ra’s is displeased to find them back until they report the state of the CP

There’s the whole coup not long after and Damian is sent to Bruce

Damian is much more innocent looking when he’s bringing what appears to be a teddy bear with him

It’s name is Abd and it has grown wings by now. Actual name pending.

He gets teased about it, but under Cosette’s teachings, he has learned the virtue of patience, underestimation, and getting revenge with a side of entertainment

He does not try to kill Tim either

He also has to make the choice of bringing Abd with him as Damian or as Robin

He choses to make a side company for WE making toys based off creatures from the CP so Abd wouldn’t look too out of place

It takes two weeks for the bats to realize there’s something off about the Abd

They are convinced it’s haunted and Damian is very entertained

Abd only moves in daytime when no one - Damian excluded - can see it

Movement can expel magic that interferes with recording tech

Alfred is the first to figure it out and surprise, surprise, he has some magic books for Damian to learn from

It’s from the Wayne family library and they just assumed the language was lost to time. At least three are from Alfred’s own family.

Bat brothers spend the next 6 months trying to convince Damian his magical pet bear is a haunted doll.

Damian sort of getting along with Poison Ivy because his Sun magic is very compatible with plants and they love him

On an unrelated note, the plants seem to refuse to attack the new Robin

Damian randomly, unconsciously humming to songs Cosette and Marinette sang

Damian just vibing with the magic users of JL and Teen Titans

No one took him seriously at first but he pointed something out during a conference

“Robin, stand down and let the magic users handle this” - Green Lantern, probably

Constantine who actually knows what he’s talking about “No, no, let the boy talk.”

The plan was twice as efficient after Damian was through with it

Now Constantine’s trying to adopt Damian as an apprentice, he’s failing bc the bats are protective and possessive of what is theirs

Reminder that Damian brings Abd with him everywhere and he’s still getting teased about it from anyone who is not a bat (still convinced the thing is haunted)

The only thing the magic users have picked up about Abd is that he’s a magical construct which could mean a number of things but they brush it off as just a doll.

No one is prepared for the thing to come to life, multiply in size, and start spitting ice, sleep sand, and illusions. (Hiccups bubbles and can also turn into a cloud.)

They are also not prepared for the thing to quadruple in size and for Damian to ride it like a horse into battle. Reminder that Abd has wings and can fly.

Confusing talk about what’s going on in Paris and some other parts of the world

JL slowly figure out the universal merger that Damian already knows about

Damian is not impressed, it took him and Angel about 2 hours as 9 year olds

Somehow, Damian still has the ice prince image, less demon spawn though, that goes to Abd

Time moves on and one day, a plane from the other world arrives in Gotham

There’s a bit of confusion but it’s not exactly the first time something like this has happened at this point

WE steps up and offers jobs and a tour and all the usual Maribat plans (not just for the kids but all the other people on the plane)

Given the merger of the internet, MLB class and crew have some idea who the Waynes are and they accept. 

Estimated about 6 months for full merger so people from MLB world are kinda just stuck there until then

Lila literally cannot lie about knowing the Waynes personally but she sure can lie about other things.

Dick and Damian are sent in to monitor the group

The reunion is awkward given they can’t freely interact and are not supposed to know each other. 

While Dick is talking, there are just wide eyed staring between Marinette, Damian, and Cosette. With something a little extra between Marinette and Damian.

Cosette is torn between laughing and groaning at another rom-com trope coming in fast.

She ends up filming it bc blackmail is always good to have

Adrien is confused and quite frankly, he’s really just there to cover for them

The tour begins and about five minutes in, the trio breaks off and exchanges stories and names.

Cosette hears about Batman and has a dawning realization of what this world is, mentally nopes out, later digests that they are going into Maribat verse

Starts checking off Maribat tropes they’re coming across bc she might as well have fun with it

They continue to meet up

Batfam thinking Damian somehow managed to get two girlfriends

Damian choking on his breakfast when it is brought up

The girls are invited to dinner and Damian is just dying inside

Cosette blatantly hitting on all Damian’s brothers in the first 5 minutes

Damian screaming internally while Cosette cackles

Dick is awkward until he realizes it’s a joke, Jason plays along, Tim has an awkward bean crisis

Tim x Cosette? Maybe.

Cosette does that sit and repeat thing at least three times out of habit

Batfam gets full explanation about how they met and everything

I have played with the idea of Cosette getting fear gassed a couple times and Idk how it would go tbh.

That’s as far as I got with this version, so shenanigans ensue

Pretty sure they used the cards and magic throughout even if I didn’t mention it

Absolutely would be useful for being in two places at once

I later changed so the merger happens and then Paris’s heroes meet the Justice League

Damian immediately recognizing Cosette but not Marinette bc magic

still effective but weaker because of Damian’s magic type

He later recognizes Marinette later when she pulls off a move he taught her way back in CP

Nickname confusion for everyone else

Cosette vs Constantine on who gets to teach Damian magic

Damian goes to Paris. They beat Hawkmoth and then go to Gotham.

Also had a general idea of a plot with LoS that never got fleshed out past existing

If we’re going for the rebound version: Cosette reunites with Thor and Loki during the Avengers movie

Also, poor Heimdallr. He probably had a lot of headaches with the universe crash

Accelerated merger because of the convergence in the dark world.

I wanna go with 2012 Avengers towers shenanigans. + Loki and his sort-of but not really daughter

Cosette vs Antman, shrinking/growing, science vs magic.

And then there’s the whole Ironman vs Batman vs Arrow rich boy fight

Hammer x Luthor or Hammer vs Luthor?

Also, Cosette just staring at her home universe in betrayal and being insulted she didn’t think of it earlier because classic Nordic myths had Loki as Odin’s brother and not his son among other things but still

Fight against Thanos is a bit anti-climatic when you give a gremlin murder child magic and a sword that can through anything, including magical artifacts.

this baby boy can and will fight God and Cosette’s not really the kind to hold him back

If I actually wrote this, a lot of things would probably change because I’d actually have to put more thought into logistics and how things work

#Maribat #Daminette #multi-crossover #Ven's ideas #Ven's rambling #Abandoned Lore #Ven's idea outline #feel free to ask questions #maribat x CCS #mlb x dc x marvel x ccs #I gave up editing #I only have vague recollection of what is actually written here

[backseatloversz]

ok first of all. anderperry my beloved. but im notorious 4 being a multishipper and after thinking abt this rarepair that crossed my mind as a joke for like half an hour ive decided i want to share it with u all here. maybe one (1) other person will appreciate it idk

its todd and ,. cameron

Listen hear me out ok listen ok here;

it follows the events of canon and my broad post canon hcs a bit; sometime in early 1960 when its second semester of their junior(senior??) year, todd and cameron are made roommates. (if its junior year they are all of senior too). they kinda slowly become friends, and sometimes they'll start to chat abt really serious/personal stuff in the middle of the night (as u do). todd talks abt neil and they both come out to each other. (may or may not feature chameron. u decide). there is No romantic tension in high school in fact i dont imagine todd would date around much if at all through at least the first couple years of college; but then maybe he meets someone (keeping it vague bc ive decided in this world hes bisexual bc i make the rules) and realizes smth about how he doesnt want to never give love a chance again and so. yeah. him and that person go out a while but eventually go their separate ways idk at some point him and cameron are both done w/ college and move in together bc its convenient for whatever reason (plus they already know they work well as roommates<3). after a while they realize not only do they like this type of domesticity, but they like it with each other specifically. so. they r in love now. its nothing like w/ neil in a lot of ways, for better and for worse. (but mostly for better, bc instead of so so much so many emotions and self discovery, not only in falling in love but also in general at 17ish all happening in four months then coming to an abrupt and tragic end, they've had years to get to know each other, and just. you know. figure themselves and life and everything out!) :-)

Closing note ! as i worked on this post i realized it could totally be left as platonic. any way u wanna take it just kno that a todd & cameron relationship is a very important concept 2 me. i care them. fall in love w/ ur best friend ! build a life with them ! do it

#diversity win! your roommates sexuality is compatible w/ urs and ur in love (deep friendship) #i dont want 2 misuse the term queerplatonic relationship but MAybe thats what this could be! maybe #idk how old the term is i doubt theyd use it. but. close good friends:-))) #ace cam is also an important hc to me .... maybe they r in love but Only romantically hmm. the possibilities are endless #being a multishipper is fun having contradictory headcanons is fun i am having a blast rn #this is very todd centric im sorry cam for reducing u to Love Interest</33 mayb i'll work on it more someday idk #anyway im done what do u all think. pls at least one person tell me u like it #todd anderson #richard cameron #dead poets society #dps headcanons #oh SHIT also #death #character death #implied #?? as always ask 2 tag #cowboy posts

[janiedean]

Is it bad that I really enjoyed reading the kinda fandom history/fanw*nk history posts abt j*nsa? XD Tbf I'm also a bit addicted to fanlore articles. XD Anyway I think in the tags of one post you mentioned j*imexs*nsa starting as an antijb thing? Would you mind elaborating on that? Sounds like an interesting, albeit bonkers, story, too.

dw I don't think it's bad I mean... we all enjoy catching up on wank we weren't part of (and my friends the things I could tell you abt spn fandom or when I was around at the sidelines for the worst rpf fic ever..) but anyway *deep breath* SURE THING LET'S SAY IT I mean....... it's not like it hasn't been years and I can talk abt it so whatevs, under the cut because reasons, also I'm saying now that a lot of this was what I deduced from circumstances and you've got to take my word for it unless someone who was around then remembers it and can confirm my impressions bc it was a lot less obvious than the j*nsa stuff

but going from the premises again:

I got a tumblr in like may 2011, read asoiaf june-july of that year, started being active on the tags around august-september 2011 so it was before S2 aired and 95% of the people that were bnfs/around then aren't on tumblr anymore/are here rarely these days so you've gotta take me at face value

in the main asoiaf bnf group there was this one jc shipper who like... I mean she's still active on twt and blocks everyone shipping jb on sight but good bc let's just say she's a piece of work not to mention that she spent months/years writing meta abt how jb was like fanfic stuff and had no book basis and how if you liked j but not c you were a misogynists which was wildly popular

I would like to add that person is basically... let's say everyone in jb fandom who ever got harassed knows exactly who I'm talking about and I'll leave it at that and was not for ship and let ship let's put it like that

so basically this person was on my dash bc I followed ppl who followed her and I saw a lot of jaimes*nsa stuff from her

in the sense that like... she was doing with it what I did with jonc/brynden back in the day when I was wanting to convince the world they were the crackship that was promised as in posting abt it/spamming it/discussing how it made canon sense/more canon sense than jb anyway and the likes, and like there was a fairly numerous amount of stuff for that ship back in the day - like before S2-3 aired jaimes*nsa had pretty high fic numbers/fanwork numbers considering that in canon they haven't interacted once

and that went hand in hand with keeping on trying to burn ground around jb before S2 aired/before they met in canon with that meta

and like... it's not like it started as an antijb thing in itself bc I'm sure that there must have been someone into it before the show aired same as there were ppl who as I was reminded lately wrote brienne/loras hatesex and so on, but the explosion which was during S1-3 (then it lost a bit of traction I think mostly bc jb exploded and sansa/tyrion happened on the show and the ppl involved kind of went more on twitter and didn't produce that much content anymore tho it still has numbers™) was also continuously fanned by person above + her followers who most likely were like... genuinely into it but again the antijb meta was around quite enough at the same time, so

also like... let's just say that back in the day I was the main t*robb ship contributor and I also wrote jb though less but jb was smaller as a fandom so I did post when the ao3 tag was at like... 30 fics or smth so I separately had my foot in both ponds and like until S3-S4 any t*robb fic where jb was the sideship would get tangentially less views/reviews than ones where they were not which in itself wouldn't be a problem bc obviously maybe ppl wouldn't ship one of them, but then there was this uuuh specific case

where someone who followed me for the t*robb who also followed her at some point asked me in private if a 22k t*robb fic that was the sequel to... my most famous/popular jb one let's put like that had a lot of jb in it because they were die hard jc people and it was triggering to them (which... I mean fair enough but in retrospective using that term instead of 'you know I really don't vibe with jb and I'd rather not read it' felt a bit like they were trying to guilt trip me ngl), I said that they showed up together in two scenes and were in the background and at most it was 1k worth of fic and the answer was that it was way too much so they were going to have to skip and like again their prerogative but idk that conversation kind of left me like is this some kind of roundabout way to say that it'd be better if I didn't sideship them? idk but until S3-4 I had the distinct feeling that at least for my own stuff having both ships together meant less readers and ngl I didn't update the infamous t*robb wip fic for a year because I was planning to make jb fairly prominent as a sideship there and I was there like 'oh god what if I get wank over it' and I didn't but again I would like to state it wasn't just because of one person, it was... the general atmosphere that seemed unfriendly unless you stayed on the jb tag/kept both separate

and I would like to add that the moment S3 happened and it sailed anyway bc it was going to was when the targeted harassing of anyone who was active on the tag started ssssso :|

basically like... I have a lot less evidence to go on re ^^^^ than the j*nsa stuff because that is well-documented the rest is my very humble opinion about the background of when j*aimesansa started getting popular but like it also was v. prominent in between jc people (same with the jcsansa threesomes) who were also following that person - I would like to also add that a bunch of ppl who shipped both were absolutely lovely and nice to interact with in other situations and not harassing anyone about it and again nothing against ppl into it as a thing but the moment of its peak was in conjuncture to the burning ground around jb moment driven by that specific person so *shrug*

#1 #2 #4 #5 #3 #anonymous #ask post #anti-jaime x sansa #anti jaime x sansa #anti jaime x cersei #anti-jaime x cersei #anti-cersei lannister #anti cersei lannister #again it's me going with what i recall but i'm p. sure some ppl who were around then can corroborate #*in jb fandom i mean

[lunar-lair]

Uh,,ok so like,,,,,,,I had this? Idea? And I just wanted to know what people thought of it before I actually wrote it, so uh. Yeah

(Sidenote, this is basically an outline/bulletfic? Like it's Mostly fleshed out in terms of concept but that doesn't mean it's a full Fic yknow? I plan on...hopefully, eventually...writing this Fully. I just wanted to get input on just how off base my characterization is and shit...hehe. Also my excuse for any weird writing is that I wrote this in the bath and I was trying to go Fast so my water wouldn't get cold. Anyways notes over bye)

Named 'Cleaved Apart, Cleaved Together': abt The Split and how the two were separated (physically AND emotionally) and then how they bond again after Remus is accepted and the boys like,,,,,,accept each other as Bros again

At first I was thinking No Fusion but also like,,,I really like the idea of them fusing again on accident when they're really super happy or in sync

So after a Lot of bonding-chilling in the Imagination, just fucking around with each other, and even talking thru shit together-they finally manage it.

They were just in the common room with all the other sides, maybe setting up for a movie night or something?

They came rushing down the stairs, talking frantically together about a new idea they had while pushing each other lightly with every silly tease and making jokes about old shenanigans that only they could really understand

(Patton and Janus could remember days before The Split, when the two were one.

Janus could still remember them shouting not to be seperated.

Patton still hated the fact that it was basically his decision to keep them apart.

Thank the Lord they were close again.)

The two finally stepped into their usual spot in front of the tv, chatting with each other and the others

Eventually, they ended up talking about some stuff they'd made together. Some plans they'd been making together. They finally told a joke at the same time that got them falling over each other laughing,

And then it happened.

There was a flash of light and then-and then-

It wasn't King. It wasn't Creativity, the original.

But it was them.

Patton and Janus only sat there, teary eyed with dropped jaws, and Virgil and Logan began questioning what the FUCK was up, how are two sides fusing-?

And Roman and Remus sat there, tearing up before laughing a moment. 

"Roman."

"Remus."

Two almost-different voices right after one another, happier than any of them had ever heard them.

"We need to talk about this separately though, hm?" Roman, with a laugh.

"Yeah."

Another flash and he was gone, replaced by the brothers again who shook their heads, in a bit of disarray.

"Was that ok?" They asked at the same time, staring at each other.

"We don't have to be him anymore...I mean, we're our own people now Remus."

"Yeah, but that was FUN!" Remus replied, throwing his arms around Roman.

Roman laughed. "Then maybe every now and then?"

And Remus just laughed back. "Why the Hell not!"

They finally turned at the sound of a sniffle.

Janus was crying, and Patton wasn't really much better. Logan and Virgil seemed bewildered, though Logan a little less so.

"Janus? Patton? I understand you remember original Creativity more vividly than we do, but I do not understand what elicited sadness. Are you alright?"

Janus gave a watery laugh, wiping away some tears. "God, I couldn't be better."

Remus and Roman stopped, their smiles finally dropping. Roman reached forward, arm just a few inches in front of Janus. "Did we...do something wrong?"

Janus smiled again and shook his head, tugging on Roman's arm. "Come here you dork."

Patton pulled Remus in along with them and they all ended up in a little cuddle pile, Logan and Virgil joining in too, on the outside, bc Bitch, We're Worried Too.

Remus looked up at them, just Confused. "Then what's up??"

Janus and Patton's smiles dimmed a bit, and Janus began with a sad smile; "It's...simply a long story."

"That long story short, though, uh…" Patton continued, rubbing a hand on his neck nervously. "Wellll...the Split was really scary…"

Janus chuckled. "Exactly. Imagine the friend you've known since you were born splitting into two all of a sudden with ear-ringing screams to match."

"And then, after that…"

"You...decided to split those sides of him...just because one wasn't as perfect as the other."

Patton looked down and held Remus a little tighter. "...that was...mostly my decision."

Janus gave him a Look that simply meant 'we've talked abt that Way too much dude' and moved on. "But either way...it was...well…"

"Neither of you remember it, but...you...didn't want to be split."

Janus smiled again, sweet as honey. "And even after all we did...you two still managed to stick together."

"And even if the person you make now wasn't who he used to be-and it shouldn't be, really-it was like…"

"...seeing two...old friends you used to know meeting again."

"Or seeing two pieces of a whole come together again to make something even more than what they started with."

Janus teared up a little again, gripping them a little tighter. "It's so great to see you two whole again."

Remus and Roman had memory upon memory of feeling...empty. Like there was a piece missing of them. Like nothing they made was quite right. And since they had started to bridge their gap, they'd finally felt that emptiness filling up.

Janus and Patton could remember so, so many times where the two of them had missed their brother, where they told them something wasn't right-especially in the beginning.

Even Logan had memories of trying to figure it out with Roman.

Virgil remembered plenty of days where Remus just seemed off, but couldn't explain what was wrong, and...no matter how little Virgil understood, he would sit with him and try to ward it off anyways.

Remus and Roman laughed, eyes teary, and locked hands between them all.

"Yeah.

We're glad too."

And now for my myriad of Notes:

I was actually thinking of just some kind of melding shit for the fusion bc I thought it would be Cool but then I realized it was Thomas' brain so it'd probably look like the shit from SU. Big F :///

Sorry for any inconsistencies, I was giving .2 shits at the time and also In The Tub, so

Me, a bitch who has siblings but isn't very close to them emotionally: *shaking my phone wildly* hoW THE FU CK DO I WRITE BRO THERS INTERACTING S O F T L Y-

I'm Certainly planning on more stuff coming from Virgil and Logan, we can't leave them out

I'm Aware that 80% of this isn't canon, but,,,,last I checked we didn't really care here? So??

For the scene after Roman and Remus defuse, I'm honestly thinking more of smth where the two go to one of their rooms and talk it out and THEN go back to the commons to check on The Boys and o h sh it why are Janus and Patton crying-

Answer: they thought they'd fucked everything up for them but they didN'T! FUCK YEA!!!

Idk how to explain,,,Why they're emotional abt this actually

Like...idk. Um...they both care for both of them and didn't want them to be separated Permanently bc they Knew they didn't feel right w/out each other?

Ok that works

Anyways but uh

Then Logan and Virgil get to ask some questions and THEN we get to the part where Janus and Patton explain why they are In Tears

Also Logan wasn't as old as Pat and Jan when Creativity split, so he doesn't really...remember it

Virgil was probably Very New tbh

The opening scene is ABSO LUT ELY going to Extremely metaphorical and sad and like 'two pieces of a whole cleaved apart' yknow

Gotta make angst to make that fluff!!

Also don't ask me why Janus falls apart Even Harder than Patton does here man, I think he's just On The Mind and I'll make our dad friend more emotional in Post, I Promise

Also pls hmu if the shit I've managed to put here so far is So Out There it's Impossible, I've written Janus one (1) time and I have written Remus zero (0) times ok

Also Remus and Roman don't...really remember much of the split. They remember feeling whole and then empty and whole again, and they have some of OG Creativity's memories, but the Split and moments following are...Foggy. Rightfully so, aswell, tbh.

Also how I imagine it going is like,,,,the boys are split, they hang out for a bit, and then they're taken by their respective Parent(ish) and are taught Entirely Differently and therefore grow to dislike each other!!!!!!!

patton has oh so much to regret.

They could've been Brothers...

Oh my God they could've been Br ot her s...............

Patton and Janus at 3 am crying over the fact they separated the boys at the Split be like:

Anyways!! My whole point is that Hopefully any problems will be Fixed when I actually write it but I just wanted to get the concept out there and uh,,,,,,yeah

Anyways uh *shuts my door* yea that's that,,,thanks for coming to my ramblings ig

(I'm so sorry I can't put a read more, I'm on mobile,,,)

#sanders sides #ts deceit #ts remus #ts roman #ts virgil #ts patton #creativitwins #catch me crying over the twins 24/7 #ts logan #i forgot logan;; #i wrote the whole og idea in google docs on a ideas doc #it ended up......Way longer than i anticipated #also f for us mobile users in the chat #trash talks #long post #lots of text #sorry;; :'(

[tyto11]

slowly handling shit: part 47 

preface: i did remember about this but i forgot to take my meds saturday and it fucked me up HARD 

sleep: 7.5 hours a night, just a half hour away from eight. i had some trouble sleeping friday and saturday night because as previously mentioned, i forgot to take my meds saturday and passed out hard mid-afternoon and couldn’t sleep til late at night. i think i’m reset and should do fine for monday. i also don’t have band early in the morning next week so hopefully that helps with my sleep 

exercise: pretty good, i did a hiit thing tuesday (feels like last week) and my legs are still kinda sore because i had dance and then the paper route, but it was good! and fun! and i emailed the lady who made the video and she emailed back and it was really wholesome :) 

fauna: i gotta do a separate follow-up post to a previous post but long story short, squishy’s been making the weird noises that’ve been keeping me up at night. also, i put some sticks in his tank and he’s been sliming around on them and having a good time eating lichens. i love my son. 

face care: getting better! this week i had a lot of twice a day face washing and my acne’s gone down a lot. it kinda... disappears when i shower? smth about the steam or the hot water, idk what. also tooth brushin’s been good! 

room cleaning: pretty fuckin good! i think my room’s been acceptable almost all week save for clothes on the floor, but it’s still looking decent which is more than i ask of myself. also i washed my pillows and wrote a piece about it. i’m thinking of entering the pillow piece into a competition? people keep saying i should enter my writing in and i don’t think they’ll stop until i have. so. 

socializing + how i’ve been: i mentioned last week i was gonna try to use my laptop at my desk more, and i mostly did throughout the school week, but the weekend hit and i really wanted to lie in bed and watch youtube. however! perhaps i can lean against the wall at the foot of my bed and watch youtube like that? bc i know from experience sleeping the other way (head where your feet should be) feels totally different. hopefully that means my brain doesn’t recognize it as the same space. big brain thing, i hope. socializing: one of my friendly acquaintances (i have his number now. does that make us friends?) joined my foods class. i’m happy to see him more :) he’s a pretty wholesome guy going through some rough stuff atm. i’m kinda glad he dropped calculus for foods? calculus is rough shit. i think this week i’ve mostly been tired. i had some up and downs moodwise (feeling lonely one day and totally fine the next) but i got through the week. also i’ve been writing more outside of writer’s club. i haven’t done that since i was twelve. maybe fourteen. i think fourteen was when i stopped writing save for rare vents. 

bonus things i’d like to mention: my dentist appointment went well! b99 was on and my mother did leave the room at the words “gay black police officer” but it went well. i found out my dentist keeps track of patient behaviour for each appointment. when i was very small i refused to open my mouth for what felt like an hour. apparently that got me a -3; right now i have a +1. 

i have some laundry to finish putting away and then i think i’m gonna go to sleep. i’m pretty tired and i have fresh pillows :) i should wash my face first tho. hrmng. i showered in the afternoon, it should be fine? 

#tyto stuff #tyto tries

[cosmicmoved]

IT’S TIME FOR MIN’S OFFICIAL INTRO... a mintro, if you will. KIM MINWOO, KNOWN AS MIN; 24 YEAR OLD POPSTAR, MEMBER OF POP DUO SO:DA. this is a muse i made back in march for a closed rpg that didn’t open so i wanted to give him a second chance! (:< i’ll write a proper bio for him soon, one that makes him sound like less of a moron, but this is just a basic rundown of his basic situation & some extra facts about him! sorry if this sucks, i can’t introduce a new muse without getting nervous for the life of me asdfghgfdfg anyway !! this gets pretty lengthy, even though it’s all just bullet points, so i threw it under a cut to save the dash. please click the read more to learn about min! if you have any trouble reading the theme, please refer to the mobile version of this post!

FIRST!! I want to be clear that Min is not a K-Pop idol, he’s a popstar. Technically, he started off in the K-Pop industry, is still ‘owned’ by a Korean company and was trained under that system but to describe him that way is no longer accurate. (i’m also very aware there’s already a k-pop idol called min but as he’s fictional, a man and, again, not a k-pop idol, it doesn’t really matter that much but m!ss a deserved better anyway)

BASICS

min is tomo’s best friend. tomo, having a lifetime of awful hollywood experience on min, was one of the first friends he made after moving to LA and they were both around the same age. they’re a chaotic combo and i love them... (i know the fc choice seems a bit too easy but i actually made both of these characters totally separately & making tomo made me want to give min another shot so i decided to lump them together)

full name is kim minwoo (김민우 / 金玟雨 / kim min-u) but he goes by MIN, both as a stage name and a nickname. call him either min or minwoo, he doesn’t really care either way. (he’s fed up with people pronouncing the W...it’s silent...)

birthday: 12th June 1995. he’s 24 years old.

nobody can tell whether or not he’s a jerk because he’s essentially a nice person. is it false bravado or does he just lack tact? is he just a part-time bastard? like.....he’s not mean, he’s a good person, he cares about other people!! ...but he’s also kind of a brat & he’s VERY stroppy. he gets upset if stuff doesn’t work out the way he wants it to.

he’s a member of the pop duo, SO:DA; an okay singer, more of a rapper, but a solid dancer. also very much known for his look, something about which he’s more bitter than he lets on. (he pretends to eat it up but he actually finds it pretty frustrating, a direct contrast to tomo who loves being the designated Pretty Boy so long as it’s not in clean, shiny way; if ur gonna call min pretty a bunch of times, compliment him somewhere else too at least once if u don’t want to end up on his list of enemies)

SO:DA debuted in south korea back in 2014 but the company made the decision to move it abroad a year later in an attempt to globalise their output. it’s hard to consider them as a k-pop group as they’ve been based in LA for 4 years now and they release music entirely in english. (pls don’t mention super m to me, i made this character in MARCH asdfghgfdfh)

the group’s name was originally short for SOL & DAL, taken from the french word for sun (soleil) and the korean word for moon, but they dropped it after the move abroad. min was the member who represented the moon while his partner in the group was the sun. they’ve sort of kept the concept in terms of visuals and all the rest but they mostly don’t speak about it.

min actually grew up in the UK. born in seoul, moved to a london when he was four and then moved back to seoul when he was thirteen and then to LA when he was eighteen.

EXTRA TRIVIA

min’s not as into partying as tomo so like...he’ll go along with it and go to clubs with tomo but usually doesn’t drink as much & often ends up in charge of dealing with the aftermath of tomo being an idiot. min doesn’t really mind bc he’s used to people trying to chase after him & being treated like an irresponsible child so he likes being the responsible one for once. (actually, he’s just a much tamer character than tomo in general. i think the same heavier topics will come up by virtue of him being a big part of tomo’s plotline but, in isolation, min’s less intense. min doesn’t take any drugs, for one thing; it’s part lack of interest, part he’d never get away with it like tomo does)

min isn’t allowed to do wild shit in public or else his management will come down on him like a tonne of bricks but he likes the idea of the Bad Boy image so he kinda...mooches off of tomo for the street cred. like they’re genuinely best friends and he’s not using tomo or anything shitty like that but i can’t say that min doesn’t enjoy being seen as trouble by proxy.

got banned from club penguin when he was ten for saying fuck. (more than once bc saying it once only gets you banned for 24hrs.) it was his first experience with resenting authority for enforcing their rules on him 😔

he likes to keep this sort of...mysterious, tortured image but his upbringing was actually fairly ordinary. he gets on with his family and loves them a lot. nobody’s dead, there’s no awkward relationships.

he has two siamese cats, both aged about 3 years. they have their own instagram account that’s about 40% run by min and 60% run by his manager when they have nothing better to do (usually after min has spammed them with pictures he’s taken). in conclusion, they are baby.

this has actually resulted in them having to separate their channels of contact by purpose; one messaging service will be used for important stuff, one will be used for casual stuff, one will be used exclusively for social media (cat pics & selfies), so on and so forth.

his management won’t let him get tattoos and he’s mad about it. like to the point that he’s been known to wear fake tattoos occasionally. do NOT clown him for it. he won’t take it.

actually, min’s management is just very controlling and overbearing & he’s totally overworked but hahaha we’re just going to ignore that bc arguing with the people in charge means risking your dream career in music & potentially losing it all, esp bc you skipped out on uni and fucked up a lot of high school just to pursue this job hahaha let’s just internalise that shit and get on with it

owns the cherry coke aesthetic. actually thinks classic coke is better. shhh, don’t tell. his favourite sweet is basset’s cherry drops though hehehe (not that he gets to eat them very often, given i can’t imagine they’re easy to find outside of the uk)

actually drinks too much coca cola. that probably explains the stroppiness, as well as his awful sleeping patterns.

pepsi can get fucked

min claims to be a vegetarian.

min is not a vegetarian.

the backstory there is pretty simple; min’s fussy. he has particular tastes. most kinds of meat, esp red meat, do not fall into his OK Zone. instead of having to suffer through important, fancy meeting dinners with posh steaks and not being allowed to use his fussiness as an excuse, he started claiming he was a vegetarian. people seemed to be more accepting of that. the only trouble is that he’s now widely known as a vegetarian when he doesn’t actually give a shit. the only people who know he’s bullshitting are his friends. he just wants a mcdonald’s double cheeseburger.

min lives on a diet of utter shit. he’s contractually obliged to eat healthily when preparing for promotions so he doesn’t just fuckin collapse on stage from malnutrition. pls eat a vegetable.

o yea he’s petty as fuck. wrong him like...once...and it’s fuck u city.

also he currently has silver hair. he’s icy...u see that he’s icy......i know the graphic is pink hair but i made it as a sidebar for smth like a year ago and i wanted to reuse it (:<

ALSO !! uhhhhhh, if anybody’s interested in rping the other half of SO:DA.........pls let me know asdfgfdf i’d literally LOVE for someone to take that role hehehe! p much everything is up to you besides a few requirements; he has to be close enough in age to min, probs not too different in build (duos always kind of have?? a sorta physical symmetry??) and he's a vocalist. the personality is totally your call but there has to be that sunny image. fc and everything else is your choice too but i’d have to be chill w/it & agree that it works asdfghdd!!

#« 𝐍𝐎 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐄 𝐍𝐎 𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐈'𝐌 𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑 (ᴍɪɴᴡᴏᴏ) » / 「 headcanon. 」 #i wrote 90% of this in march btw...i think the only new additions are the bits that include tomo #and the vegetarian bit is newer ASDFGHGF #i'm just gonna post this while the dash is quiet so i don't keep panicking abt it #but i'll probs rb it later when more ppl are online & i've had time to just accept that it's on my blog & it's too late ASDFGHJHGF #I OVERTHINK EVERYTHING AND FOR WHY #anyway UHHH THIS IS DUMB AND A MESS BUT!!! #im repeating myself but min was an oc i made in like march & got attached to without writing him #and then i thought he'd be a good fit in tomo's plotline so i decided to revive him and then i was like ' OOOO: what if they were BESTIES' #bc i love writing best friends and those kinds of plotlines...my shit #anyw this is more FUN FACTS than actual storyline but i'll write h #*that up another time #(also if u can't tell from parts of this & then also just tomo's plotline in general.... #i'm trying to avoid just the glitzy glam version of writing abt famous characters asdfgfd #i don't feel like that's a very honest portrayal and also it's just not that interesting to me??? #i wanna go for the.....CONTRAST !! like yeeeeee ur rich n famous but also Shit SUCKS)

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

Why does no one talk about how luke lost siblings pre war? Like like is what 14 when he comes to camp, hes 19 when percy does. Meaning, because he wasnt the cousler when he got to camp one or more of his soblings had to die in the five years he lived at camp. In the five years he lived at camp his brothers and sisters would go home and not come back? How many bodless shrouds did luke have burn???

oh i think

but on this blog, we stan luke castellan

i stanned luke before it was cool, before the word “stan” even existed

i was stanning luke the moment i finished tlt

but, uh, anyway,,,

in a more…coherent way, i think it’s bc a lot of ppl don’t like luke. like at all. and a lot of it stems from two things,,,

1: many ppl, i think, don’t separate kronos from luke and luke from kronos. OR, they don’t fully grasp just how manipulative kronos was, and how far someone can go when they are being manipulated. OR, they could not do both of those things and still hate luke, and that’s fine and fair. they’re entitled to their opinion

2: the whole “did you love me” scene, when luke was dying

and i know this isn’t what you’re asking for–in fact your question at the beginning of your ask is probably more rhetorical than anything–but like i said, i stan luke castellan, and i have a lot of feelings abt this topic. so i’m going to break down my points, and then talk abt his life at chb before percy showed up, regarding the deaths of his siblings

which is my usual at this point so, ya know,,,

what are you gonna do

as usual, hcs under the cut

one

1a: sometimes i get the feeling that some think luke and kronos were basically one in the same? and that luke is completely and wholly responsible for his actions throughout the series. which is wrong. he’s not, he was being severely manipulated by a titan; misled, misguided, and used. kronos was taking something that already existed in luke and twisting it to his own gains. additionally, after kronos possess him, he’s no longer in control of his actions. he’s trapped in his own body, while kronos pulls the strings, quite literally.

1b: i also get the feeling that sometimes ppl don’t quite understand how manipulation and gaslighting can effect your ability to think for yourself, to think clearly abt a lot of things at all. or, swinging in the other direction, perhaps think too much abt everything. for this post, it’s the former. manipulation is subtle and insidious, you start to do and say things you wouldn’t normally think you’d do or say for fear of punishment, whether it be physical, emotional, and/or psychological from the other. manipulation like that is abuse, and luke was being abused by kronos. so he is not completely and wholly responsible for his actions throughout the series

1c: finally, ppl may very well recognize these two things–that luke and kronos were two separate entities, and that manipulation can be a terribly powerful and destructive tool used against ppl–and still decide to hate him. and ya know, that’s fine. we’re all entitled to how we feel abt fictonal characters. at the end of the day, agree to disagree

two

a lot of ppl hate him also bc of the question he asked annabeth in tlo, a dying man’s inquiry

and a lot of ppl interpreted it as romantic. and therefore, rightfully so, saw that as disgusting, considering luke is considerably older (6 to 7 yrs, at least).

not only that, but luke oftentimes used annabeth’s crush on him against her (whether he knew annabeth’s love was romantic or familial at that time, who’s to say; i mean i say that he didn’t realize annabeth had a crush on him for a very long time, he probably mostly saw it as familial, bc he is considerably older)–i think the biggest example of that would be when he got annabeth to hold the sky for him bc he knew if she saw him in pain, she would help him, no question, bc she loved him. that i can’t really argue against. i will say he was still being deeply manipulated by kronos, but it’s still a p despicable thing to do just in general

the infamous question he asks annabeth, i see as way more complicated. i think since we’re in percy’s head, it’s meant to seem romantic, considering percy could tell immediately annabeth had a crush on luke at the beginning of tlt, and percy, himself, had completely fallen, head-over-heels in love with annabeth at that point in time.

i see the question as familial, as well as romantic love, but not in the way you think. i felt it was him almost checking to see the depth of annabeth’s romantic love she felt for him–was it just a crush, or has she deeply and truly fallen in love with me? i think he knew she’d fallen in love with percy (even if it took him a while to figure out she had a crush on him). his question was more a check, rather than a, “oh i’m going to ask this girl who is 7 yrs younger than me if she loves me romantically.” but also one of familial love. her answer is implied to be strictly romantic, but luke knows that annabeth’s always loved him, and he’s checking to see if not romantic, than still as family. i.e., “but, no, i didn’t love you in that way”

bonus! three

and look, before you get all indignant and ready to pull receipts, i’m not a luke apologist

i recognize that him being manipulated, and not fully in control of his actions, does not excuse the fact that he still committed them. i am fully aware that he was not a good person, and that he did terrible things

but i also recognize that for one, he wasn’t entirely in control or himself bc of the manipulating kronos was doing to him (which does count for something in the grand scheme of things, even if it does not excuse his actions), and two he had a point abt the gods. the gods are fucking awful. they ain’t shit, and they care little abt their own fucking children.

[aside] hey so cool concept: if you don’t want to put in the effort to do the bare minimum for you children…DON’T HAVE CHILDREN. wild i know. and for gods??? the bare minimum would be like claiming them, and making sure their cabins are the least bit comfortable to live in, which they could do, literally with a snap of their fingers, which would take less than a second. the bar is on the fucking ground. if you’re gonna try and give me the Ancient Laws shit, first of all it was clearly shown throughout the pjo and hoo series, the gods often help demigods, even if they aren’t “““““supposed to interfere””””” so that’s a weak argument. second of all, for bigger things, like getting them to camp or smth, well why not find adults who maybe can take care of them??? maybe it’s a bit idealist sure, but adults should fucking know better. not to mention, the fact that i wish older ppl would care and take care of younger ppl is me being ideal speaks for itself. i recognize not every single person can be the perfect parent, but we can sure as hell try to get close

luke did those things bc he thought he was helping demigods–he started doing it for them and it spun wildly out of control bc kronos is a titan, he’s ruthless, and wanted to kill the gods for his own gain. he didn’t care abt luke, but he’d gladly use luke to achieve his goal. by the time luke realized that, it was already too late. but anyway, /tangent

i can completely understand luke’s motivations, while also understanding that his methods were not the way to go abt change. and that’s another thing abt it, is that i feel like many in the fandom take a very black-and-white perspective on his character, when it’s much more complicated than that

there’s a post going around, talking abt how antagonists and villains should be relatable, bc it reminds us not to go there. and i think a lot of ppl should really take that to heart. i can like a character, but not the person. i don’t idealize luke is any sense of the word. i am aware of all his flaws.

now, first i would like to point out that the rules of becoming head counselor don’t have to involve death. i’m sure with demigods, they often do, but there are two other options: 1) two competing head counselors have a chat and agree on who should be head counselor or 2) they battle each other, and whoever is victorious becomes head counselor

it’s a safe bet that that probably happened quite a lot in the hermes cabin, considering how many demigods resided in there before the second titan war (tho i imagine chiron at least tried (???) to make sure legit only children of hermes become head counselors, bc it is...well...the hermes cabin).

but, as i said before, they are demigods, and so it’s another safe bet that their head counselors were often lost to death

it’s hard to say just how many of luke’s siblings were lost to death, but let’s look at the timeline here real quick. in tlt, luke says that he screwed everything up for everyone else, bc after his quest went so awry, chiron stopped letting kids out of camp to go on quests...which thinking abt it now, almost doesn’t make sense.

i mean, the fact that luke failed so miserably and came back horribly scarred was the catalyst the made chiron stop letting ppl out, but demigods literally dying on quests didn’t???? uuuuuummmmmm?????????

and we can extrapolate from the spoils in the attic of the big house that a lot of campers did die on their quests

i mean, maybe it was also bc chiron had a feeling the great prophecy was getting nearer and nearer to being fulfilled, and he decided after luke failed his quest--a close call like that--he didn’t want to risk any other demigods’ lives anymore until the prophecy began, bc war takes a lot of lives, but still, that’s p fucked up logic

/tangent

anyway, so i think luke was at camp for abt 3 yrs before he finally got a quest of his own. so luke had three yrs at camp to lose siblings to death.

i mean, going by how much luke fought to get his own quest, hermes’ children probably didn’t get a lot of issued quests (more evidence abt how others see hermes as a god, despite him still being a major god).

but, for argument’s sake, let’s say that before the great prophecy became too real for chiron to let out kids on other quests, abt 5-10 quests were issued for each full yr, depending on how long the quest itself would take (tho we’ve seen that a lot of things can be accomplished in v little time, so that’s why my estimation has a lot of variation)

[aside] these numbers are completely and utterly arbitrary, i’m totes making this up as i go

and for more argument’s sake, let’s say that the hermes cabin were issued at least half of those, since they have so many kids--maybe even some of the undertermined kids were issued a quest and as a reward would get to know who their godly parent is (wow, that’s just so shitty, where did my mind come up with that)

and i imagine, even tho they were undetermined, luke felt like they were siblings all the same bc everyone, even children of hermes, were miserable in that cabin. it was jam-packed, crammed, with no breathing space. and some of them in there had completely given up that they’d ever find out who their godly parent was bc their godly parent didn’t care abt them at all

luke hated seeing that. so when a quest was issued to anyone in his cabin, and they didn’t come back, that probably took a serious toll on his mental health. not to mention only did to feed his anger and hatred toward the gods. esp if he thought that the kid was only doing it to find out who their godly parent was

bc they get at least half of the quests during the yr, across 3 yrs, luke probably lost from 5-15 of his siblings, and those he considered siblings.

i have a hc that he cares quite a lot abt his half-siblings. for as much as he hates his father, his siblings didn’t do anything to be ignored like he is, and as luke grows older, he probably takes on kinda father-figure. like if hermes isn’t gonna step up, then luke will he just kinda went abt it the wrong way, with the whole kronos thing...

i imagine, also, that he sometimes lost his siblings when they would sneak out of camp. i mean, from what little glimpse into luke’s life we got before he started trying to take over the world, he made it sound like the hermes kids often snuck out of camp to get things from new york proper like junk food. and it’s more dangerous for them outside the borders, so it’s safe to say that if they were in the wrong place at the wrong time and met a monster they were unprepared to face, they most likely died.

that only increases the number of siblings he lost over those 5 yrs before precy got to camp.

i think tho, those that went on quests and died would have more impact, bc it’s obvious his siblings dying after sneaking out didn’t dissuade him from still sneaking out. but luke was probably more careful abt it

actually, jk, it probably affected him A Lot. and hc that that’s part of the reason he trained so hard with a sword--he probably told his siblings that he’d be the only one going out of camp for any bargaining chips, didn’t matter if he was directly involved or not. and bc he was so good with a sword, he’d be better equipped to handle tougher monsters.

with every lost sibling, i imagine luke throws himself into sword-fighting and masking his grief and pain with anger and hatred even more--it grows exponentially, and never hits a ceiling. he probably blames the gods to bury the fact that he actually blames himself. bc if he accepts that he blames himself that means he also wasn’t strong enough to protect his siblings

it’s easier to blame the gods and train so that maybe one day he’ll be strong enough to protect his siblings. that’s another motivation behind why he decides to join kronos and lead his army until kronos can reform/find a host. kronos promises to make him strong enough to protect not just his siblings, but all demigods who have been thrown to the wayside by the gods--no more useless quests that needlessly take their lives, just to get their godly parents to “““““approve””””” of them

i’m sure he gets tired of feeling powerless, and sometimes the grief is so overwhelming he hides in the forest and lets himself feel for once, but not willing to let anyone else see him break. then he somehow puts himself back together, more determined than ever to become powerful enough to make it stop. at the very least, make it stop happening so frequently.

hmmm, not sure if this is what you asked for, but this is where my brain went. not quite happy with it, i feel like i keep saying the same thing abt luke over and over again but in varying ways, but i did add some new hcs

if you wanna send in another ask with some of yours ideas, i think my brain would be able to use that as a springboard and come up with more specific hcs

as always, thanks for sending this in!!! i know i say this with every ask, but i really do enjoy thinking/discussing these things ^_^ it’s always fun to interact with the fandom for me

FEED ME SEYMOUR

#girlygirlbishop #luke castellan #pjo meta #pjo hcs #asked and answered #washingdad writes

[youtiaoshutiao]

hello, i wanted to ask you what changes in a love so beautiful made you mad? i am sorry if this is a troublesome question, i have not read the novel bc it isn’t translated in a language i can read so i do not have a clear perspective

hello anon! sorry i took so long to reply, i was trying to organise my extremely jumbled thoughts HAHA (which I mostly word-vomitted to @ggongzhu about :P) and i was also busy over the weekend! i’ll attach my thoughts under a read more cut, and also if you haven’t finished watching the drama yet and you are afraid of spoilers do be careful because i’ll make references to the later episodes as well :P

disclaimer: i still really do like the drama a lottttttt (seeing how my tumblr is almost like 100% about alsb hahaha) and perhaps a lot of my opinions are just me being too sensitive and making a mountain out of a molehill (given that i watch the episodes multiple times because of subbing/giffing and i’ve read the book about three times as well)… please forgive me if so :(

1. on a structural scale, i feel like there is a problem with the pacing of the drama, coupled together with the increase in screentime and altering of plot of the secondary leads (mainly wu bo song). the book is mostly set in the time period three years after the breakup and high school/uni is presented as flashbacks/in the outtakes and epilogues. While i’m fine with the drama doing a linear timeline as I do think it’s less messy and more appropriate for a drama, I do feel that they spent way too much time in high school, especially with regards to developing an (what i felt was completely) unnecessary love triangle, at the expense of the main leads’ development. i especially felt that the jealousy scenes, while amusing, were kind of excessive? they could have cut down on that as they were mostly the same narrative after a while and didn’t lend much to building the story. in addition i also thought that the addition of these love triangle/jealousy plot lines kind of weakened the characterisation of jiangchen for me. like jiangchen saying “you were really embarrassing today” in episode 5 because he was jealous, which i really thought was a super harsh and not really in line with his character (he’s more of awkward and aloof and bad at expressing himself, not mean D:), and also the endless jealousy scenes kind of didn’t make sense after a while because he does know that xiaoxi likes him!!

and i just felt that all these needless plotlines to “dramatise” the story just kind of came at expense of what could have been a more coherent drama, or a drama with better pacing. lots of netizens said that episode 18 onwards just felt like a powerpoint presentation where it was just scene after random scene, and it didn’t really flow well? they could have expanded more on the post high-school narrative i felt to make it more coherent, or explored more things, like the ambitions of the five of them (among which, only Jiangchen’s was properly explored, which was a nice touch the drama had that wasn’t in the book :) ), the three years they spent separated to drive home the point that jiangchen really needs xiaoxi, etc.

and while I admit that i’m not the biggest fan of wu bo song and I found his character quite annoying, it’s not that i’m opposed to the addition of secondary leads, it’s just the fact that the additional screentime and additional scenes end up weakening the main leads’ characterisations and taking time away from what could have been used to explore the main leads more that makes me rather sad ):

[okay the rest of the points are mostly plot-related]

2. i didn’t like how they made post 3-years breakup Jiangchen kind of a 霸道总裁 (which is a Chinese fiction/entertainment trope, which is smth like an overbearing chaebol). the drama changed the reason for the breakup which was different in the book (in the book, Jiangchen’s parents were both alive, and Jiangchen’s mother’s disapproval of their relationship and blatant dislike for Xiaoxi was the initial catalyst that eventually triggered Xiaoxi to break up with Jiangchen), which was fine! and actually I thought the drama’s handling of the breakup was quite realistic and portrayed well. But then the drama’s version of the breakup had both parties be at fault.

So taking that into consideration, the last scene of episode 20 didn’t really make much sense at all (where Jiangchen asks Xiaoxi to apologise to him). The drama used the exact same words as the book did, but it doesn’t make as much sense in this context. Because in the book xiaoxi broke up with jiangchen cos she was insecure as his mum didn’t like her and as they slowly drifted apart, so from jiangchen’s pov it felt like xiaoxi broke up with him over nothing, whereas in the drama it’s totally different as jiangchen actively left for beijing instead, so the apology thing just seems really weird and kinda rude of him??? And the scene before that, where he wiped her fingers in front of their entire group of her friends was just so improper and rude of him? (The fake girlfriend thing also features in the book (and in fact Xiaoxi introduced the girlfriend to him whom he then roped into his fake girlfriend scheme), but this scene was added in the drama and the way the drama presented it just weirded me out)

In addition, some of the sentences drama!Jiang Chen says - like “We definitely will get back together” or “She’s always been mine” was just D: nooooooooooo

3. the way they dealt with xiaoxi’s character. My impression in the book was that though she wasn’t a good student, and she was often slow on the uptake especially with regards to Jiangchen, she wasn’t helpless and she was actually a very independent woman (post-breakup) who was quite perceptive and had a high EQ in her dealings with her friends (Jiangchen being the only exception, where often she subconsciously feels lowly in front of him and hence often misreads him) . So while Shen Yue portrayed Xiaoxi really well and managed to toe the fine line between being cute and silly and being annoyingly silly, I really wish that the drama had made Xiaoxi less helpless because book!Xiaoxi definitely wasn’t so!

And even if they wanted to retain all the “helpless Xiaoxi” moments in highschool, what really made me quite disappointed was how in ep 22, drama!Xiaoxi ended up getting the whole book deal through Jiangchen’s interference and through him paying for vanity publication, which I thought was doing the character such a disservice (though it highlights Jiangchen’s selflessness and sacrifice etc, but. but. but! couldn’t the drama have picked something else to showcase that). In the book, Xiaoxi got her book deal entirely through her own efforts and I really wished the drama showed that as well ):

In addition, I thought that the drama could have dwelled more on Xiaoxi’s internal thoughts. Like… why does she like art? Why did she decide to get back together with Jiangchen? Why did she get upset when Jiangchen teased her about her proposing to him (which was discussed in the book, but the drama didn’t and i think according to @ggongzhu it made it seem like she was just upset as she thought the guy should be the one proposing)?

Haha but then conversely, there are things that I thought the drama did better than the book!

1. The medium of it being a drama allows us to see Jiangchen fleshed out more compared to the book. In the main part of the book (excluding the outtakes), everything is written from xiaoxi’s first person pov. so sometimes she will write about how she feels very lowly in her relationship with jiangchen, or feels like she cares too much while he cares less, or how she rarely hears any romantic words from him; or because she misreads Jiangchen, lots of times she will think that jiangchen is angry with her when he really isn’t. But then from his small actions and from the outtakes which are written from omnipresent pov, you can tell he does care a lot about her and stuff. (Personally, the first time I read the book I was a little ?_?, and only on my second/third read did I begin to appreciate all the little moments where you can see Jiangchen’s love, ehehe)

In the drama, because we are watching from 3rd person pov, we can see all his little smiles and stuff so we know he does like her right from the beginning, which makes for very satisfying viewing, I must say. [But back to the drama’s flaws: even though this is the case, the way that the drama narrative presented him, actively doing things that hurt xiaoxi (like calling her embarrassing, like leaving her for Beijing without discussing beforehand - like he only told her when he was at the airport) when he’s upset with her/jealous, makes him seem kind of self-centred, which brings me back to the first point I made about weakening of characterisation hehe]

2. I really like the addition of the friends group! Which was not in the book :) I love Lin Jing Xiao loads and she’s such a good friend to have *_* It would have been nice seeing more of her and her astronomy career, actually (same goes for the rest of the gang)

3. I really liked the whole subplot about why Jiangchen decided to study medicine in the end. The little scenes, like his relieved smile of wonder after Lu Yang was saved by the school doctor and an adrenaline jab; him meeting the little girl in the hospital and having an unexpected convo that tugged on his heart strings; him telling Lu Yang that he also wanted to stay by Xiaoxi’s side, eee that was so poignant and lovely. Also really liked how in that same episode, we got to see some relationship development between him and his younger brother! (who did not exist in the book, ahaha)

4. It was also touching having Jiangchen actively admit that he was wrong to Xiaoxi and seeking forgiveness, especially knowing what a proud person he is :)))

haha oh man anon sorry for the word vomit!!! and I hope I did make some sense hahaha and that i’m not nitpicking ahaha. It’s just, so many things about the drama adaptation were on point - like the cast, the sets - that it just made me a little sad to have the drama narrative and script ruin it a little for me. ): let me know what you think and have a good week ahead!! :)

#a love so beautiful #致我们单纯的小美好 #replies #i'm not really sure if i'm making sense hahahaha #drama watching #random thoughts