#i very much do think about destiel kissing all day every day

[deancaskiss]

impersonating bex:

do you think cas ever wondered what deans lips would feel like? did he brush his fingers over his own, along the soft cupid’s bow, and across the lower plush surface, pressing lightly to see what it might feel like. to kiss dean… to taste him. one night he couldn’t take it anymore and he just had to grab dean right in the middle of the kitchen and kiss him breathless. dean was more than happy to find out right along with cas.

actually just started SCREAMING! nonnie nonnie nonnie nonnie NONNIE! this is legit me! this is how my mind works. I am constantly and always thinking about cas wondering what it would feel like to kiss dean!! cas daydreaming about what the shape of dean’s lips feel like. the taste of dean’s mouth on a crisp autumn morning. the sound of dean’s laughed muffled against cas’ lips. the way cas traces over his own lips and imagines what dean’s lips feel like. i am going to combust.

you’re literally living inside my mind right now aldjlajslska

Impersonate me in my inbox!

#asked and answered #anon #ask game #this just made my night #after such a busy day #this made me smile so much #literally nonnie you know me so well #i very much do think about destiel kissing all day every day

[profoundbondfanfic]

hi!! i was wondering if any of y’all had any destiel fics along the lines of “cas thinks he isn't wanted anymore, but dean shows him he is” or “cas is leaving again, but he thinks it’s for the best, but dean shows him that he’s wanted” those kinda fics? if you ever have time to respond to this question i would very much appreciate it! thank you!

Hello! Yes, here are a few:

Build a Home by domesticadventures [Teen and Up, 20k words]

After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t.

But Water's Wider by li_izumi [Mature, 29k words]

Without his wings to guide his descent after he was banished by the intruder in the Bunker, Castiel crashes into the ground, leaving his body nearly as broken and bruised as his heart. Only his promise to Dean to protect Sam compels Castiel to stand up again. After days of dragging himself back to the Bunker, Castiel discovers that Sam is all right and Dean is alive! What should be a joyous reunion is marred by Castiel’s self-doubts. If the Winchesters don’t need him, and Heaven doesn’t want him, where does Castiel belong? [Canon divergent from the end of 11x23 Alpha and Omega]

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits [Explicit, 10k words]

For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.

for a guy by jhoom [Teen and Up, 3k words]

Castiel’s made a name for himself as a talented chef, in no small part to Dean’s hard work as his agent. If only Cas’ drug problem wasn’t getting in the way of his work and his relationship with Dean.

Have you ever seen the rain? by zation [Explicit, 81k words]

Thoroughly fed up with Dean’s inability to open up emotionally, Cas walks away only to find comfort in another man’s embrace. Or, The one where Dean realizes his mistakes, but will there be enough time?

If You Get Lost, You Can Always Be Found by WinJennster [Explicit, 25k words]

Days after I’m No Angel, Castiel finds himself exiled from the safety of the bunker. The money Dean gives him runs out all too soon. Luck, or perhaps divine providence, lands him on the Amish farm of Jacob and Lydia Bieler. The Bielers take Cas in. Despite the Amish’s general distrust of outsiders - Englischers - the strange man who can understand their language and isn’t afraid of hard work seems a natural fit amongst them. Castiel thinks he might just go ahead and stay - the farm seems like a good place to heal his broken heart, and maybe forget who broke it. Meanwhile, Dean finds himself so wracked with guilt, he can’t stand to see his own face in the mirror. He doesn't know what's worse; the fact that he threw Cas away or that Sam’s unwillingly - and unwittingly - possessed by an angel. Charlie comes for a visit and decides to stay, and it takes her no time at all to call Dean on his bullshit. With her help and encouragement and a plan to deal with the angel in Sam later, Dean and Charlie set out to find Cas and bring him home. But when they find him, Dean’s surprised that Cas doesn’t want to come home, leaving Dean to face some difficult truths about himself - and how he feels about Castiel.

lonely hearts. by outpastthemoat [General audiences, 4k words]

He thinks he might give up having his own anything just to be able to step foot inside the room next door and sit on the edge of Dean’s bed instead.

Sleight of Hand by aileenrose [Mature, 64k words]

Dean Winchester has interviewed them all--mob bosses, serial killers, crooked politicians. Next he plans to unveil the con-man who markets himself as Castiel, a reclusive and secretive "healer" who claims to heal the sick in return for thousands of dollars. Dean's expecting a challenge, but he never expected Castiel to be so clueless or sweet...or that he might be telling the truth.

Tacoma by ellispark [Mature, 20k words]

After an explosive fight, Castiel leaves the bunker and Dean decides to let him go. As Cas ventures halfway across the country on a journey to find himself, Dean reevaluates what he needs from life. And what he needs is Cas.

The Shape of Regret by Halzbarry [Explicit, 70k words]

Two years ago, Dean walked away from Castiel after discovering his biggest secret—that he’s a witch. Since then, Dean’s spent his days hunting alone, filling the emptiness inside with sex, booze, and the next case. When he gets a desperate call for help from Castiel, Dean doesn’t hesitate to go. But things in the small Maine town aren’t what they seem, especially when he comes face to face with Castiel, who insists he wasn’t the one to place the call. Dean’s been given an opportunity to fix his past mistakes, but it means working alongside a very bitter Castiel, and Benny, a local deputy with knowledge of the supernatural, to figure out what’s plaguing Newport and why it all seems fixated around Castiel.

#destiel #group rec

[quietwingsinthesky]

destiel and wincest for the ship ask game :))

destiel

you know, what could have been an interesting ship has been so thoroughly destroyed by bland fanon and overrunning the website with it that my only reaction is Shut The Fuck Up. you know how people have taken saying “read any other book” to harry potter fans? Discuss Any Other Ship. the only people who should be allowed to still talk about destiel are the people who are properly freaks about it.

i pray every day that a supernatural revival brings castiel back played by a woman and that’s the only way reciprocal destiel happens. i think that would be hilarious. i would love to watch a bunch of people who are so proud of themselves for shipping this Revolutionary Queer Ship™️ stumble and fall on their faces if it worked out like that. i guarantee you no one would care that Cas has always been technically canonically genderless the whole time. how do i put it. people could hallucinate a whole finale they were denied for that gay angel when he was shaped like the man they were attracted to. they wouldn’t bother to put any amount of effort into embracing it as still being a queer narrative if cas took the body of a woman, nevermind that if that did happen, it would be arguably even more queer then before. can’t hit a character with the transfem beam just to make the ship “straight” without making everything else a lot more funky around it! but it is very obvious to me, given the disconnect between what’s in the show and what people claim about destiel, that the majority of investment has very little to do with the characters themselves and a lot more to do with the attractiveness of their male actors.

wincest

so anyway, you know how everything im annoyed with about destiel is about how there’s not much investment in the show itself or its themes or the characters beyond how they serve to further a ship? so like. having been in both circles. wincest isn’t like that. there’s people who annoy the fuck out of me in wincest circles, who i think have awful takes or are just assholes, because that’s how being a fandom is. but like. at least they do the reading, you know? the thing about supernatural, and if you’re someone who has followed me only since i started doccy whoing and only knows about spn through tumblr/destiel osmosis, i’m either sorry to inform you and/or delighted to tell you, the thing about supernatural is that it’s about incest. i’m not trying to do a shipping gotcha, i’m not being competitive about who is more canon here. incest is in the text. eric kripke did not fight the network to have mary winchester kiss her father on the mouth to sell sam’s soul to the demon who would later infect his blood with a curse he could never scrub out for people to pretend like this show isn’t about incest. they reference it in the show by name multiple times when talking about the in-universe fandom of the winchester brothers. this is what the show is about. (which. the fact that this isn’t just common knowledge and people unfamiliar with the fandom know more about destiel is so funny to me. no one goes up to game of thrones and tries to say it isn’t kicked into motion because of jaime and cersei fucking and is instead about the love story of bronn and jaime.)

it’s one thing not to engage with it out of discomfort, i understand that, one of my friends doesn’t because that themes genuinely makes him nauseous. but like. that’s what the show is about. it’s about sam and dean’s codependence and how it destroys them and every relationship they have with the people around them. its about how there’s still a core of love so powerful it can beat the devil even surrounded by all that sickness and abuse. the show never stops being about sam and dean. the center was always meant to be “family is hell.”

so what i’m saying is. i vibe with wincest a hell of a lot. this is a theme that i love. i’m a little freak who likes when gothic horror is about two siblings holding on too tight when the house crumbles down on top of them. i love that the show goes hard on placing sam and dean as brothers being on the same level or above their romantic entanglements. and like. also incest kink. but mostly, i find engaging with the text of the show from a wincest lines fascinating, because it isn’t about fighting the show as it is to get the narrative you want. it’s about interpreting what was laid out for you, on purpose.

like. the way i see the great fandom war between these two ships is: you can either look at Sex and Violence and say ‘oh this is proof dean is into dudes and also cas because the siren sort of looks like cas’ or you can say ‘the siren literally word for word says that he lured dean in by playing along as the little brother that dean needs right now as he feels sam slipping away from him and choosing ruby instead.’

wincest wins. it’s in the name.

[put any ship in my ask box and i’ll give my brutally honest opinion]

#ask #tw incest #spn #anon i hope you wanted paragraphs because if you ever ask me about spn you get paragraphs. #its the autism

[einloukrativesangebot]

January 2024 Destiel Fic Recs

Here are some of my favourite Destiel fics posted in January 2024. The point of this rec list is to shine light on some new fics that otherwise might go drowing in the ocean of Destiel fics on ao3.

cure of all, this fruit divine by hurtygurdyman

Father, I am sorry my nature does not come easily to me. I know neither how I was made nor why I feel so alone.Cas draws a line in the soil that will one day become the Mississippi River. He looks up at God with a feeling in his gut he doesn’t want to name. spnflash day 4: envy.

This one is very short and poetic. (868 words)

i'm half-doomed, and you're semi-sweet by 13zepptraxx

“Thanks,” he whispers still, allowing Castiel’s hand to reside on the side of his face. He could shrug it away, and he knows he probably should, because right now he and Cas are tiptoeing along a line set a long time ago, one that they both silently agreed they should never cross. Across this line is uncharted waters, unknown consequences, no semblance of what will become; but it’s important to note that Dean wants to cross that line, all the time, every single day. He yearns so badly for it; so he’s taking this moment, this blurring of the line. Tomorrow they can go back to only looking at one another when the other is looking elsewhere, and stealing touches in the form of healing or in a quick pat on the shoulder that turns into a balled fist as they walk away. Tonight, Dean will allow himself to be weak.

Everything about this fic is just perfect. The fucking hours I spend going through every fic posted in january were worth it just for this one, honestly. (1,642 words)

What a Brave Little Ant You Are by withthekeyisking

The first time man-in-charge Cas shows up at Bobby's place, Dean promptly flips the fuck out and shoots him.By the fourth time, Dean doesn't bother reaching for his gun.

Season 7 godstiel, very interesting dynamic. (2,320 words)

Baker Company Pie by S1nging_Y0u_S0ftly

Castiel remembers a recipe from the Great Depression, and decides to bake it for Dean. It's a water pie, something he'd had a few times as a child and remembers it being edible. It will have to do.

This is a coda fic for Ninety One Whiskey, and if I loved 91w as much as I did, you'll love this one as well. (2,570 words)

Nobody Here But Us Chickens by ImYourHoneyBee

Dean has been trying out endearments inside his head for years. He can’t help it. Some sentences feel wrong on his tongue without one, the unsaid words jumping over themselves to leap out of his mouth like living things. It took him a long time to label it love, but what else could the urge be when Cas makes him feel so much? When Cas is hurt, Dean's gruff, “You good?” needs a comma and a ‘sweetheart’ at the end. Calling out in a dank, dusty storage room for a hand with hauling boxes or needing a clarifying eye on an obscure, potentially magical trinket wants to start with a questioning, “Hey, honey?” He can almost taste it, dripping off his tongue sweet and wanting, casual in its intimacy. Sometimes, Dean slips up. “Good morning, sunshine,” while passing Cas a doctored-up cup of coffee in his favourite mug has become a morning ritual. It’s innocuous enough to get away with if he doesn’t think about it too hard. Sometimes, he tries his best to make it sarcastic, but it inevitably comes out too sincere. Cas hasn't caught on yet, though, and Sam has stopped shooting him questioning side-eyes, so Dean's pretty sure he's pulling it off. The problem is that it’s not enough. It’s never enough. 

Very fluffy, they are soo soft in this, I love it. (4022 words)

45 by soft_pine

Dean's 4th, 5th, and 45th birthdays.

The contrast between those birthdays just chef's kiss! (1,158 words)

found it here in your love by nevernevergirl

Dean's birthday doesn't go as planned. Cas is definitely not throwing a tantrum about it. (In which learning to live your life after nearly two decades of saving the actual world is a process. They're doing it together, though.)

Another Dean's birthday fic, I actually read this one his birthday :). (2,779 words)

Don’t Let the Sound (of Your Own Wheels) Drive You Crazy by Eightbitpale

Like a crazy person, like this is new information, Dean thinks: there’s an angel of the lord in my passenger seat. One day I brought him home with me and he hasn’t left since. Cas sighs loudly, and turns a little in his seat to look at Dean head on.

“You’re thinking very loudly.”

“Don’t read my thoughts, Cas”, Dean replies on autopilot, knowing even as he says it that that’s not what the angel meant. There’s a beat of silence between them where Cas just lets the tension hang, knowing all too well that the steely look he’s currently beaming into the side of Dean’s head is enough to make him crack eventually. Dean cracks. “I guess I was just thinking that some shit never changes, y’know?”Its been a long drive. Dean is thinking loudly.

I love the way this one was written, the atmosphere was really special.(3,917 words)

I (22m) am concerned about a coworker (30sm) but am wary of getting too involved in his life by bitterred

A coworker at the Gas-N-Sip that Castiel works at has noticed some weird things about him and decided to write into /r/relationships for advice. "I (22M) have a coworker (mid-30s, I think, M) and this dude (I guess I’ll call him Steve, it's anonymous enough) is more than a little weird. We work at a convenience store/gas station. It’s like he doesn’t understand any pop culture reference, at all, but talks about stuff from ancient history (like, literally, stuff that is in the bible) like he knows it happened for sure."

Short reddit fic about a one of Cas' coworkers perspective on Dean. (492 words)

but honey, most of them are true by Owco

Sam overhears some gossip between two hunters at a bar. He is surprised to learn that it’s all true. Set sometime after Exodus, around Let the Good Times Roll.

A very funny and unique take on the "Sam finds out about Dean and Cas"- trope. (2,996 words)

If you read and enjoy these fics make sure that you leave kudos and/or write a comment! Some of these stories are first fic the author posted on ao3 and they deserve all the love and motivation.

(And please feel free to point out any mistakes I might have made with the links and stuff... hope you enjoy! See you next month for the february recs.)

#fic rec #destiel #destiel fanfic #january 2024 #new fics #destiel fic rec #ao3 #spn #supernatural

[spnfanficpond]

New Member Spotlight - September/October 2023

The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family, along with a little info about them!

Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!

@inenochian -

Other SM names? - InEnochian on AO3 and Discord

OTP? - Destiel

Other fandoms? - Merlin

Looking for in the Pond? - Prompts, connections, advice, collaboration, also fic recs and to let more people know about things I've posted.

Pairings you read? - Destiel

Genres you read? - I like canon fics but LOVE historical AUs. Happy endings are a must but angst fluff and pining are wonderful. Omegaverse is great! Smut is good as long as there is plot.

Favorite writer(s)? - This is hard. IntotheSilentLand & UnicornPoe for the way they paint soft angsty pictures with words, Anryrei and Queerwerewolf for hot smut and great plot, sometimeswelose for amazing Dean Winchester angst, there are others - I can't decide!

What do you like to write? - Historical AUs, fixits, AUs in general

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - the light paints kisses on his skin.

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - Omegaverse - I'm just nervous about it. Also present tense writing - I like to read it but it's hard to write. Not sure how anyone can help but when I'm ready I'll def reach out!

@dragonardhill -

Other SM names? - dragonardhill on AO3

OTP? - Wincest

Looking for in the Pond? - Just interested in the community and positivity of interacting with others who enjoy fanfic.

Pairings you read? - Dean/Sam, J2, Dean/Sam/Jack

Genres you read? - All of the above. I read 4-5 fics, sometimes more every day lol

Favorite writer(s)? - too many to choose one!

What do you like to write? - I write very little to be honest but would like to get back into it. I got on a sam/dean/jack PWP kick during later SPN seasons - mostly due to prompts and relationships with a couple other fans. That’s most of what is on my AO3 works but Sam/Dean is my OTP.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - Again, there’s not much to choose from and I only write PWP! This isn’t really underappreciated but it’s super short and my fave. Warning for underage weecest. These Tornadoes Are For You

@pizzagirlxnsfwx - This new member is cool and mysterious like Rowena, but without the witchy spells. We think. No guarantees.

@thepromiscuousduck -

Other SM names? - Promiscuous_Duck (AO3)

OTP? - Destiel

Looking for in the Pond? - I want to meet like-minded people, maybe make some friends, and get more readership for the series that's kicking my ass. lol

Pairings you read? - Any combination of Team Freewill 2.0, along with original characters or side cannon characters, so long as Dean, Sam, Cas, and/or Jack are involved. This includes Wincest.

Genres you read? - I'll read just about anything, but angst needs to have a happy ending for me. It's my escape, I don't want to be left crying lol. I have a weak spot for the coffee shop trope. It can't be overdone!

What do you like to write? - Happy, fluffy AU with some drama. Right now, that with a lot of smut and incest.

Masterlist!

@annahmiraculousmillenium -

Other SM names? - A-nah on AO3, mimiaou on Discord

OTP? - Wincestiel

Other fandoms? - Miraculous and Yu-Gi-Oh!

Looking for in the Pond? - I just wanted to read about how people in fandom help each other make art.

Pairings you read? - Oc insert and the oc have to be really interesting. Ship: Wincestiel!!!! Poly fic : Hell yeah!

Genres you read? - Angst, smut, crack,fluff,hurt/comfort, happy ending, open ending(hopeful ending) Tropes: time travel, time travel fix it, bodyswap, sharing a body (mouah! One of my favorites), slow burn (it's Soo worth it), identity crisis, identity reveal, reverse-verse AU

Favorite writer(s)? - Not yet!

What do you like to write? - Dialogue heavy fics, whenever I get to writing them.

@lunaroserites -

Other SM names? - @gattinachyann (Twitter) and Lunaroserites (AO3)

Other fandoms? - Marvel, The Boys, Attack on Titan, My Hero Academia, Demon Slayer, Gotham Knights (CW Show), and many more.

Looking for in the Pond? - Friends, other authors, more things to read

Pairings you read? - Reader Insert mostly, some OFC. I’ve been into Castiel and Dean fics but I’ll read just about anything from Supernatural!

Genres you read? - All the above? Fav tropes are only one bed, sweetheart (derogatory) to sweetheart (affectionate) or enemies to lovers, touch and you die, grumpy character/sunshine character. I also adore Soulmate AUs and most other AUs!

What do you like to write? - Fluff. I’ve been in a real Castiel kick lately lol. I like to write happy stuff, very little angst. I enjoy tooth-rotting fluff.

Masterlist!

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I love AU but can’t seem to write them well, so world-building tips would be helpful!

@the-family-business67 -

Other fandoms? - Marvel

Looking for in the Pond? - To grow my audience

Pairings you read? - I read reader inserts, mostly Dean or Jensen x reader, but also Sam and Jared

Genres you read? - pretty much all, love abo and soulmate stories

Favorite writer(s)? - @luci-in-trenchcoats who has so many amazing stories and encourages me to share my own work and @jawritter who brought me to Tumblr in the first place.

What do you like to write? - What ever inspiration strikes. Mostly Dean or Jensen x reader with a few Sam or Jared x Reader.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - Love Again

That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @katbratsupernaturalwhore and @heavenssexiestangel!

#welcome #new member post #pond admin #spnwin #supernatural #the winchesters #long post #fan fiction #fanfiction #fan fic #fanfic #spn fan fiction #spn fanfiction #spn fan fic #spn fanfic #supernatural fan fiction #supernatural fan fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #spn prequel

[casbeeminestiel]

I posted 8,480 times in 2022

That's 7,842 more posts than 2021!

1,025 posts created (12%)

7,455 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bitingmp3

@thenightwemetnatural

@ledzeppelinmixtape

@castielsupernatural

@xofemeraldstars

I tagged 2,593 of my posts in 2022

#duckposting - 690 posts

#supernatural - 64 posts

#grey’s anatomy - 55 posts

#duckacrossthepond - 50 posts

#grey’s anatomy spoilers - 39 posts

#castiel - 35 posts

#dean winchester - 34 posts

#florida - 33 posts

#destiel - 26 posts

#prev - 24 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#all it takes is one common interest or nonsense exchange and suddenly you’d die for your faceless mutual from the other side of the world

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Day 2: Pillow Talk

They get home well after midnight, stumbling into the bunker with errant bits of corn silk on their clothes and the lingering warmth of cider on their breath. Sam and Eileen lead the way, Sam turned as much towards her as possible as he signs something Dean can’t quite make out.

That’s okay though. He squeezes Cas’ hand three times and shoots a wink his way. Cas smiles like he’s never been happier. Dean knows for a fact that he hasn’t.

Earlier, at the corn maze, they had stayed together the entire time. It wasn’t a plan exactly, but Dean was certainly pleased with the outcome. He still feels the ghost of Cas’ stubble on his lips, barely refraining from reaching up to touch them with his free hand.

It would be ridiculous if it wasn’t so damn sweet.

They peel off into separate directions. Sam and Eileen go to the kitchen, and Dean and Cas head down the hallway toward the bedrooms.

When they reach Dean’s door, they stop, unsure.

Do I invite him in? But wait, what does he expect tonight? Am I ready for sex?

Castiel, as if sensing his thoughts, rushes to assure him.

“I would be amenable to spending more time with you tonight. I thoroughly enjoyed kissing you, but I hope you know that I don’t want anything you don’t want. Your happiness is the most important thing to me, Dean. We could do anything, or we could do nothing. To me, it would still be everything.”

And Dean, well. Dean damn near sheds a tear. To have someone anticipate his anxiety and for him to know that Cas means every word of reassurance? Dean thinks he just fell in love all over again.

As it is, he can’t stop himself from cupping Cas’ face and kissing him sweet and slow. Cas closes his eyes and sinks into the sensation immediately, his hands coming to rest on Dean’s heart over his flannel. His lips taste like cinnamon. When they pull apart, Dean nips at ‘em.

“Fuck, c’mon in, Sunshine.”

Dean opens the door with shaky hands and lets them both in. As soon as the door is closed, Cas is up in his space (as if he ever really left it), catching his eye in a clear request.

Dean nods. Of course he does. They’ve spent twelve years not kissing each other, and it’s a damn shame and an error that must be amended immediately.

They fall into each other in an instant, restraint checked at the door. Dean’s higher function shuts off, leaving his brain in a state of primordial mush. Cas makes a sweet sound into his mouth and wraps his arms tight around Dean. Dean closes the remaining gap between them, pressing their bodies together heads, shoulders, knees, and toes.

It’s desperate, in a way. But it’s not demanding. Dean marvels at this. So rarely has he been with a partner who wants him, but also simply wants him to be comfortable.

They keep kissing through the lump in Dean’s throat, and they only break apart when a tear rolls down his cheek and meets Cas’ hand at the seam of his jaw.

“Dean,” he brushes another tear away, tender. “Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah, Cas. I’m… I’m not good with all this touchy-feely emotional stuff.”

Cas’ eyebrows knit together.

“Do you want to stop?”

“What? No. No, man.” The very thought.

“Then what…?” The question is implied. What can I do to make you feel good about this?

“Cas, listen. I have my hang ups about this kinda stuff, ok? I’m not saying I won’t trip up down the road. I mean, you know me,” he breathes through a chuckle.

“This though? Right here? I’m good. I’m more than good. Fuck, I’m finally kissing the guy that I’m in love with, so y’know.”

“Dean,” Cas melts against him at the words. He folds him back into his arms, tucking his head in the crook of Dean’s shoulder. Dean releases a shuddering breath, knowing Cas feels it when he clings tighter.

For a while, they just sway in place like this. There’s none of the urgency of earlier to be found in their embrace.

That is until Cas pulls back just enough to draw Dean back in against his lips. Then, Dean is lost to bliss and ignorant of time as they move together. It’s all heat and honey bee buzzing.

They land on the bed, they lose their shirts, and they find each other over and over and over again. It’s a crescendo with nowhere to go, a taste of what’s to come and a dose of perfect medicine.

See the full post

89 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

#4

Day 3: Digital

Jack pops into Sam’s room abruptly, completely engrossed with the Nintendo Switch in his hands. Sam sits up with a yell, prompting Eileen to startle and smack him in the face with a sleepy hand. The kid seems to realize his manners a second too late and shoots a sheepish look at Sam.

“Jack, remember what I said about knocking?” Sam pinches the bridge of his nose, blearily checking the alarm clock on his nightstand to discover it’s 7:00 AM. 

Eileen raises her tousled head from where it was soundly buried in her pillow, squinting at Jack and offering him a quickly signed hello before falling right back into the blankets. Sam can’t help the smile that grows on his face despite his exhaustion. They were up late last night scheming… among other things.

“Sorry! I meant to appear in the kitchen, but I was distracted by my game.” Sam wants to be mad, he really does. But Jack is a good one.

“Maybe uh, don’t fly and game at the same time, yeah?”

Jack nods firmly. He gets that from Cas, that same cruciality with which he takes to everything. Something as silly as this is treated with the same consideration that a life or death mission is.

“What made you so distracted anyways?” Sam thinks he might as well catch up with Jack since he’s certainly not catching up on sleep anymore. Eileen on the other hand- Sam absently brushes a stray hair out of his fiance’s face and envies her ability to return to her slumber so readily.

“Oh! Well, I’m playing Animal Crossing. See?” He tilts the screen around to show Sam. “I was just fishing in the game, and I found it very peaceful. Dean and I went fishing once, remember? Anyways, I went to his room first to show him, but he and C- he was sleeping, so I tried to go to the kitchen. But then I ended up here!”

Sam bites the inside of his cheek, knowing fully well that Cas ended up in Dean’s room last night. He wants to tell Jack that his secret is not as much of a secret as he thinks, but he decides to let it slide under the radar. He still wants to let Dean take his time with this one.

For now, he settles for asking Jack more questions about his game until Eileen wakes up again and asks what’s for breakfast.

The three of them make their way to the kitchen, Jack chattering away about his adventures for the past few weeks. He’s been making the rounds with Jody, Donna, and the girls as well as Amara and Rowena. When he’s not with them, he’s been doing cool stuff like spending a day under the ocean with a pod of dolphins (he rescued a calf from a fishing net and befriended the group) or bowling with a biker gang in Baton-Rouge (“Terri-May looks scary, Sam, but she actually is very nice”).

Sam doesn’t even pretend he isn’t fascinated by Jack’s adventures. The kid just seems to make friends wherever he goes. He has that effect on people, apparently. And the way he approaches life, all genuine curiosity and an undaunted kind of love for the bizarre, reminds Sam that this is what they fought for.

He lets Eileen take over some of the conversation as he makes pancakes and coffee for them, though he still listens and offers input every now and again. He watches the two sign back and forth in glances while he stirs the batter, mentally rattling off his breakdown of breakfast the whole time.

Pumpkin pancakes for Dean, Jack, and Eileen, and banana pancakes for me and Cas. Coffee, black for Dean and I. Two sugars for Eileen. Honey for Cas. Apple juice for Jack. Bacon for everyone but me, and an extra piece for Eileen. Fruit on the side for all of us. 

Like clockwork, Dean and Cas wander into the kitchen as soon as he slides the last pancake onto a plate and spoons some sliced strawberries to the side.

“Mornin’ everybody.” Dean is more free of tension than Sam has seen him in years, loose-limbed and wrapped tightly in his beloved dead guy robe. He won’t think of the implications, but he does leave a mental note of gratitude for Cas, who looks as equally pleased with life this morning as Dean does. Their hands aren’t quite brushing, but it’s a close thing.

Cas spots Jack and makes a quick detour to hug him on his way around the table. Jack reciprocates instantly in an embrace that absolutely no one would mistake for anything other than a son hugging his father. If Sam catches Dean’s fond smile at the two of them, he doesn’t mention it.

“I missed you, Jack.”

“Missed you too.” Jack steps back and addresses Dean, “And I missed you.”

It takes all of two seconds for Dean to break. “Shit, bring it in, kiddo.”

Dean wraps his arms around Jack tight. Sam knows his brother has a complicated history with the kid, but he also knows his brother too well to think he doesn’t love Jack like family. Dean will spend the rest of his life making up for his past mistakes with the boy he considers his own. That determination to make things right is one of Dean’s best qualities.

The thought almost makes Sam forget about the corn maze retribution plan he’s hatching with Eileen. 

Almost, but not quite.

He thinks about it some more as he eats his pancakes and enjoys the casual domesticity of their makeshift family, pretending he doesn’t know Cas has a hand on Dean’s thigh beneath the table. Turns over scenarios and logistics in his mind between bites of strawberry, drinks revenge in with his coffee.

Jack’s digital mishap this morning may have given him a wonderful, horrible idea. 

Dean, he thinks, enjoy your peace and quiet now, man.

90 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

#3

I’m talking about Florida a lot today, so I should also emphasize that there are thousands of LGBTQ+ kids whose education and mental health are being put in potential danger by a recent legislative decision. We’re under a red majority here that tends to lean conservative on many social issues. You may have heard of the “Don’t Say Gay Bill” that recently passed through the House and has Governor DeSantis’ approval. If you haven’t, it’s essentially an ambiguously worded bill regarding parental involvement in education. The bill claims to restrict conversations about sexuality and gender to age-appropriate subjects, but it does not define what is considered inappropriate for the classroom. Parents can also opt their children out of learning what they deem to be “inappropriate”, and teachers can be reported for violating this bill. Furthermore, people are concerned that the implementation of this bill can give schools the liberty to out LGBTQ+ students to their parents, which is an infringement of their privacy and a potential danger to their lives. This bill is just vague enough to sound harmless, but the consequences could be damning. Religious schools hardly teach sexual education, let alone LGBTQ+ history. This bill has the potential to do the same thing to public schools here. I will attach the link to the bill below-

https://www.myfloridahouse.gov/Sections/Documents/loaddoc.aspx?FileName=_h1557c1.docx&DocumentType=Bill&BillNumber=1557&Session=2022

Below are some Floridian LGBTQ+ initiatives, organizations, and funds. Do your research before supporting any organization, please. But I’m worried that whatever progress being made in my state will be set back if this bill is weaponized. I’m not going to guilt anyone into reblogging, nor donating. That sucks. But I’m going to pin this to my blog and ask you to consider looking into this bill and it’s implications. Florida and Texas and other red states are known for political decisions like these, but not every citizen supports how things are being done here. And kids and teenagers deserve better.

https://www.jaxcf.org/lgbtq

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/blog/fighting-for-trans-youth-in-florida-and-beyond/

See the full post

195 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

#2

I love how fanfic authors decided that half of Dean’s sexuality problems could be solved if Cas pushed him against a wall and made out with him because honestly they’re right

219 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It’s a beautiful day to remember that Red, White & Royal Blue is going to be a movie

266 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #false

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

One Shots Masterlist

Grouped Together:

First Time "Series"

This is a series of one shots that all go together.

Even though he's a lot older than she is, and more experienced in every possible sense, Y/N finds herself incredibly attracted to Dean Winchester. Amazingly, one day she starts to think that maybe the attraction isn't all one-sided.

This isn't a series in the traditional sense, because each story can sort of be read separately, but they're definitely better if they're read together/in order. So, have fun and binge read 'em! I plan to keep adding stories to this little anthology, so check back regularly!

The Masterlist is linked above, or you can read them separately below. The stories are listed in the order they should be read:

First Time For Everything

An Introduction to Heroes and Monsters

A Deeper Kind of Kiss

The Evils of Liquor

When You're Ready

Love; for the First Time

An Unreliable Reflection

Show and Tell

Natural Woman

The Hero, The Myth, The Legend

She’s heard a lot of stories about Dean Winchester.  Can she believe them?  She’s determined to find out the truth for herself.

Walk Away From Me

It’s been almost three months since Y/N has seen Dean. She hasn’t been able to forget their night together, has he?

If You Could Only See Me Now

Dean is in control and that's just how Y/N likes it.

You Read My Mind

Y/N can't tell Dean how much she wants him, but maybe he'll hear her anyway.

Dance With Me?

Y/N is shy and not sure why she agreed to come to a strip club. Can the very hot, green-eyed dancer pull her out of her shell, and out of her clothes?

In No Mood For Games

Y/N has wanted him for weeks, but he's ignored her. But her timing might be right tonight.

No Regrets

Jo immediately regrets saying no to Dean's proposal. Is there a chance to change her answer?

It's All For You

After a hunt gone wrong, all Y/N wants is to make Dean feel better. Will he let her.

A Carnal Kind of Heaven

They both want to worship at the shrine of the other's body.

The Bearer of Good News

Dean has some good news to share with Ellie. How will they celebrate?

An Unreliable Reflection

Y/N overhears two women having a cruel conversation about her one night, and is very hurt. She refuses to tell Dean what happened. Can Dean get it out of her somehow?

Show and Tell: An Unreliable Reflection Timestamp

The morning after Dean tells Y/N that he loves her and desires her, Y/N still wonders why. Dean decides to provide some show and tell to explain.

Go Before You Say Goodbye

Dean tells Y/N to go. Sam tells Y/N Dean wants her to stay. Who will she listen to, or should she just listen to her heart?

First Time For Everything

Y/N has waited a long time for her first kiss, has she just been waiting for Dean all this time?

Safe When Darkness Falls

Dean vows to never let anything hurt Sammy again.

Movie Date Do-Over

After Y/N returns from a disappointing date, Dean is determined to cheer her up.

An Introduction to Heroes and Monsters

Y/N is about to learn what goes bump in the night, and just who bumps them back. (Prequel to "First Time For Everything."

A Deeper Kind of Kiss

Y/N is ready to explore a new first with Dean, but will her harsh upbringing get in the way?

Making Out For Lost Time

Dean has plans for Date Night, and Y/N doesn’t!

Be My Cherry Pie

Dean’s wanted Y/N for so long, but she seems completely uninterested, making him resort to less than grown up tactics to get her attention.

Reckless and Raging

Y/N knows she made a mistake, but Dean’s fury at her isn’t making it easy to admit to. But why is he so completely furious?

The Evils of Liquor

Y/N wants to experience being drunk for the first time, but what's making Dean discourage her from doing it?

Welcome Home, Dean

Dean's been gone too long, and Y/N's more than happy to welcome him home.

Breaking

Y/N and Dean play some pool; who's the winner?

The Mission (Non-Destiel)

Castiel is intrigued by his mission; rescuing a human from hell has never been attempted. He's even more intrigued when he finds him.

Huh, Not That Complicated After All

Dean figures out how to make shower sex not so complicated.

Write Love on My Skin

Y/N's bored and wants to play a game with Dean. Who will win?

Natural Woman

Dean catches Y/N dancing and singing in their bedroom, and loves the show.

Prettiest One

Dean's leg is broken and they've given him lots of morphine for the pain. What secrets will he reveal to Y/N?

Make it Better

Y/N is at the end of her rope. Can Dean help her hold on?

When You're Ready

Y/N's distracted by the events of the night before, but she's also ready to go even farther today.

Love; for the First Time

Y/N's first time with Dean may reveal other firsts for both of them.

Saints are Sinners Too

Y/N has some confessing to do.

Still Love Me?

Y/N wants to help Dean deal with the mark - in whatever way he needs.

A Healing Kiss

Y/N causes Dean a bit of damage. Can she fix it with a...kiss?

Three is NOT a Crowd

Y/N might be ready to try something new.

#dean winchester fan fiction #dean x reader #dean x y/n #dean winchester smut #dean winchester angst #dean winchester fluff

[batattta]

destiel fic recs pt.4

heeeeeere we go again

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

part 4/?

new testament 'verse (15 works, 47k, g-m) the most underrated work imho. i have no words to describe this one. it makes me FEEL. sad cas, sweet caring dean, singer salvage, domesticity. one of my all time favorites

rivers and roads (3k, g) cas hitchhiking his way home after the fall. they are the sweetest boys

entertaining strangers (9k, e) cas tells dean about his threesome. just. wow. OCs in this one are the best.

the walk series (196k, e, AU) dean turns tricks and one day he meets cas. who is religious and sad and married. i loved how all their found family came together in this one. 

seek to know you better (27k, e) they are on a road trip and play “36 questions to fall in love”. cute

some boys are sleeping alone (4k, m) dean and his sexuality. very very sad

command me to be well (28k, e) not an obvious one of 15.18 fix-its

after a storm (10k, m) where dean doesn't tell cas to leave bunker in season 9 (as it should have been)

there’s only one sure thing that i know (20k, e) dean and cas get stuck in ohio. very old one. beautifully written 

elemental (600, g) “the man who would be king” coda

the best bang for your buck (6k, m) cas finds dean’s profile on sex toys website. this is so funny

the gambler (4k, t) dean retires. with cas. sam is oblivious. the fluffiest fluff

i saw the heavens and the earth cry over you (3k, m, mcd) why do i do this to myself? hah. i don't even want to recommend this one, but i have to, i’m sorry. read at you own risk. cas becomes human. his body starts to slowly shut down. incredibly sad.

things dean winchester loves (3k, m) so cute. cas makes a list. 

story time (1k, g) dean and cas retire. they tell stories to local kids.

string lights (2k, g) christmas fic. i love the atmosphere 

you and me in the war of the end times (5k, e) remember i told about shotgunning? yeah.

the face at the end of the hall (3k, t) psychological horror. short and sad. 

things happen (they do, they do, and they do) (28k, e) my favorite one of 15.18 fix-its. dean is a repressed bean.

flowers in the backyard (34k, e, AU) awwwww. love this one. dean inherits bobby’s cabin, cas is homeless and made the cabin into his home.

prosopagnosia (32k, t, AU) dean is a firefighter, cas works in gas-n-sip and can’t recognize and memorize faces. 

on vessels (2k, g) cas tells dean that he wanted him to be his vessel

holding this in mind (13k, e) yeah, well um this one is 13k words about fisting. but it’s such a tender fic. more like character study, than smut, truly. 

death of the author (7k, e) post-15.18, first time fic. soooooo cute. 

special mention, aileenrose’s little AUs. they are so special and unique and writing is *chefs kiss*. my favorites:

every dog has its day (12k, m) dean meets homeless cas, they rescue a puppy.

a case for evolution (9k, m) plumber dean, anthropologist cas. they are nerds. nerds in love.

love, take your toll (9k, t) this one owns my heart. lonely toll collector cas and motorist dean. unbelievably tender fic. i wanted to hug cas so much

all that is gold does not glitter (8k, m) jeweler cas, dean comes to collect sam’s wedding rings. cas thinks it's dean who’s getting married. dumbies.

an exploration of habitat (11k, m) cas is a protester who lives in a tree. dean is afraid of heights. last lines made me weep. this fic made me feel so happy, oh god watch and learn, cw

#destiel #deancas #destiel fic rec #destiel fanfiction #destiel fic #fics #spn fic rec #fic rec list #my fic recs

[lulu-zodiac]

Hi LuLu! I was just wondering if you’ve listened to any of Jensen’s music and think that any of his songs are about his relationship with Misha? (obvi lots of it could be about Danneel and their kids, but I’ve never seen someone look at his music with a cockles lens before and thought I would ask if you ever have!)

Love your blog btw :)

hi! <3

okay, prepare yourself because I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS.

here are a breakdown of the four radio company songs i think have the most cockles vibes:

1. off my mind

this was the first song on vol 1 i heard that just immediately felt overwhelmingly cockles to me.

it screams pining, complicated love and longing. i mean, god. the emotion in jensen's voice when he sings "how do i get you off my mind" and "living inside my head" at the peak of the song?? the sheer desperation of it? it's a LOT, okay.

also, to me, the lyrics "i lean in for a kiss upon your shoulder, realize it wouldn't do, not with you" suggests a love that has to be hidden, that's constrained by a need to keep up appearances. which again - major cockles vibes. especially when you combine it with how many moments there are like this.

2. any way that you want me

okay, what about this one doesn't scream cockles? again, there's a big theme of hiding/trying to deny feelings for someone. which i think jensen probably did a LOT of in the earlier days with misha, and that continues in terms of wanting to keep whatever their situation with each other is/has been private.

i mean, it's just full of lyrics about pretending, trying and failing to forget, sealing away the truth.

again, i feel like this could be about earlier days jensen trying not to let the intensity of his feelings for misha take hold because he was afraid of them. like, idk, maybe something happened between them and jensen tried to convince himself it didn't mean anything because he thought it was easier, but it became too powerful to ignore. those are the kind of vibes it has to me.

'any way that you want me' and 'take the place of all i held onto' are SUCH utterly head-over-heels sentiments. like, this is not just having a crush on someone, this is fucking worshipping someone. this is something profound and utterly overwhelming. and again, it seems too complicated for it to be about danneel, which immediately makes me think it just has to be about misha.

3. watching over me

okay, not only does this have heavy angel connotations, but the line "the fantasy was far too real" has SERIOUS cockles vibes to me. again, it makes me think of earlier days jensen getting caught up in the depth of emotion he felt for misha.

there's also a lot in this song about the person saving him from a lot of pain and struggles, and it's always been pretty clear that misha has done this for jensen (don't even talk to me about the "pebble" moment). but i guess that in itself isn't necessarily indicative of cockles, it could be about danneel too - it's just the context of it in combination with the rest of the song that gives it such strong cockles vibes for me.

also, it doesn't just have castiel subtext ("watching over me" clearly alludes to angels. and like, not subtly either), but it has fucking destiel subtext too : "when i was falling down/is it fair enough to say/that i needed you through the crazy pain" (maybe i'm reading too much into this, but for me it evokes thoughts of dean's time in hell and cas saving him)

"didn't hear the strength/within your words/and what they mean" also makes me think of it taking jensen time to come to terms with misha's feelings for him, and again initially denying the strength of what was between them. a lot of this album to me feels like it's exploring the process of jensen slowly coming to terms with his feelings for misha.

4. city grown willow

this is interesting for a number of reasons, partly because it seems like a lovesong to two people (polyamory vibes?? mish. dee??)

but to me the line "he's young in years but wise in wonderful ways" is just SO perfect for misha. i'd be willing to bet all of my non existent money that line was written for him. and the tenderness with which jensen sings it says it all. fucking hell.

i've just done these four because honestly, i could very easily do a breakdown like this of literally every single radio company song. which would just be. an insanely long post. (which, i won't lie, i kind of really want to do now...)

oh, on a final note: i think it's VERY interesting that, according to steve, any angels imagery/lyrics were jensen's idea.

sorry it took me such a long time to answer this, thank you for asking such a great question! <3

#disclaimer: this is PURELY CONJECTURE #damn i really want to do a full post of all the songs now #the english lit nerd in me is really coming out #goddamn it #asks #radio company #cockles #cockles trash dumpster #jensen ackles #spn cast

[emotionallyits2009]

deancas fic rec list!

hello everyone! happy christmas to those who celebrate it, my gift to you is my fic rec list that i said i would make like a month ago. the only thing it is organized by is canonverse vs alternate universe. tried to cover a variety of subjects but there are in particular many fics of the genre “postcanon where cas is human and he and dean live together and slowly finally get their shit together” because i know what i’m about, son. HOPE U ENJOY. and if you wanna talk about any of them or rec me other fics please do. :) 

Canonverse:

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo, 30k, explicit “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.” There are many fics set in a post-canon universe where Cas is human and he and Dean live together and slowly fall into a relationship. Imo this one is the best of the best of that genre. This was one of the first fics I read back in July when I was getting Back Into Supernatural where I was like oh fuck I’m like in this. Dean builds Cas planters and bookshelves and a chicken coop and they fight and work through it.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits, 10k, explicit For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless. Really Gets the dynamic of Cas doesn’t think Dean wants him to stay/Dean thinks Cas will leave the first chance he gets. Also a nice example of Cas thinking he’s not wanted if he’s not useful/powerful and being told otherwise. Another all-time fave!

lonely hearts by outphastthemoat, 4.5k, gen He thinks he might give up having his own anything just to be able to step foot inside the room next door and sit on the edge of Dean’s bed instead. This one is for the CAS GIRLS who know what LONELINESS feels like.

Helionneiros by aeli_kindara, 24.2k, mature In which Dean visits his mother, and Claire takes Cas on a hunt. I’m always on the lookout for more fic with Claire and Jack. Jack doesn’t show up until the end here but the relationship between Cas and Claire is really nice.

Crawl by aeriallon, 11k, explicit It’s been almost four years since Castiel left Kansas; he'd eventually settled in an island town where he has a job, a house, and a life without the Winchesters. Every winter, Dean drives down to the coast to see him. Another fic where Cas is human but in this one he took some time for himself and got some distance from the Winchesters! He gets to be competent and weird as a human and we love that for him. I must warn you all that this fic contains one use of the phrase “making love” which would normally put me right off but it’s still worth reading. The first of a three-part series.

home where you hold me by microcomets, 1.6k, gen Cas and Dean, in the moments between their battles, ache for quiet spaces. Technically this is a coda to 10x20 but you don’t need the episode for context. Short and very sweet.

Build a Home by domesticadventures, 20.1k, teen After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t. This one is so cute it’s like what if once they were done saving the world Sam and Dean actually invited other hunters to move into the bunker with them. Obviously Dean wants that to include Cas but doesn’t know how to use his words.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo, 22.4k, explicit This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. Angst fic! They go on a road trip and Dean is severely fucked up post-Mark of Cain.

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon, 8.6k, explicit No one ever tells Dean anything. Another nice getting-together fic.

Creature of Habit by trinityofone, 5.2k, teen The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well. This one is ancient by destiel standards (written during season 5) but it manages to nail the married couple vibes they give off in later seasons. Cas is a bitch and Dean likes him so much. <3

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by Tuesday, 11.2k, mature Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this. Another old one that is a lot of fun! They get Accidental Angel Married and if you don’t enjoy dumb fanfiction tropes like that I don’t know what to say to you.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi, 4k, teen In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything. The OTHER accidental angel marriage fic written in 2010. 

Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord, 24.8k, explicit A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there. At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history. Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe. Time travel is FUN. There’s an excellent part where (minor spoilers) future!Dean is like, “Guess what, asshole? You like me so much you marry me!!!!!!!!!!!” to 2008!Castiel that made me laugh out loud the first time I read it. Also just a good reminder of how most problems in life are temporary and if you could go back in time to talk to your younger self you’d be like, “Hey man. Chill out. You get through it.”

The Path of Fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, mature After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years. There’s a lot of amnesia fic and djinn fic out there were Dean wakes up ~suddenly together with Cas~ but I like this one in particular because he’s initially very confused and kind of a dick about it until he acknowledges that being with Cas makes him happy.

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden, 95k, explicit Three months ago, when Dean decided to retire, he thought his life was going to end up differently. He'd thought that he might get to have it all, Sam, Cas, Jack, and nice little place to live. Instead he gets Sam and Jack off on their Summer of Love Tour, radio silence from Cas, and a never-ending road trip consisting of himself. Still reeling from the loss of his grace, Castiel travels the country in search of hunts. Driven by a need to prove his usefulness, he pushes himself beyond all limits of endurance. Together, with the help of a few friends, a crumbling Victorian house, and a stray cat, Dean and Castiel patch themselves back together and create a home together. Do you wanna read almost one hundred thousand words of Dean and Cas having extremely intense feelings but refusing to voice them aloud? Haha of course you do that’s why you’re here. There’s also a lot about Cas adjusting to being human and being depressed about it which might resonate if you’ve ever felt weird about having a body. To be honest the author could stand to use a few more commas but there were also half a dozen moments that made me put my phone down and drag my hand slowly over my face and whisper “oh my god” to myself which is like, the ultimate measure of a good fanfiction so it gets to be on the list.

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers, 31.6k, explicit dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas. Have you seen the fanon (apparently pioneered by Mr. Jackles “Original Deankin” Ackles himself) that Dean used to prostitute himself to feed himself and Sam when they were younger? Are you interested in exploring that concept in fanfiction? Well, this is the only fic you need. Mind the tags on this one! It’s not what I’d call happy but it’s good.

Some Assembly Required by narrow_staircases, 47k, mature It’s September of 2005, and Dean Winchester, in an attempt to outrun old mistakes and painful memories, finds himself in southern Kentucky on a wild goose chase. He’s completely certain this weird religious movement he’s “investigating” is a hoax, despite the miraculous healings people report, and he’ll be back on the road in a day or two. Things are looking up when he meets Cas, an awkward (and gorgeous) graduate student who’s actually doing honest-to-god research into the local tent revival meetings. When that research takes a weird and personal turn, Dean’s left to face two very serious realities: one, this may be a real case after all, and two, he’s fallen way harder for Cas than he should ever have let himself. Stanford-era AU of Dean trying to avoid his father and getting in over his head on a case.

Alternate universe:

And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets, 57k, mature Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The  professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen. Mundane AUs in this fandom have to be really, really good to catch my attention and this one is! It’s exactly what it says in the summary and the characterization is spot-on. 

Out to Drift by deathbanjo, 20.9k, mature Dean drives a black car with a loud engine. He lies too easily. He keeps a gun in the back of his jeans, and Castiel isn’t sure, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Dean has killed someone before. Two people in fucked-up unstable situations meeting and forming a connection. Honestly guys I really just love deathbanjo.

#fic #deancas #destiel

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2021 | Day 3: Angst with a Happy Ending

39 fics under the readmore

Conditional Miracle | @vampamber

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,551 Main Tags/Warnings: season 12 finale, in-canon temporary character death, love confession Summary: Chuck can bring Castiel back to life, but only on one condition: Dean has to tell Castiel how he feels about him. Not that "You're family, Cas" stuff, but how Dean actually feels. A coda for s12e23 "All Along the Watchtower" (a bit late, but better late than never)

Sharp edges | @chaoticdean

Rating: General Word Count: 1,638 Main Tags/Warnings: Major Character Death, (although he does come back at the very end), Temporary Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt, Angst with a Happy Ending, Letters, Five Stages of Grief, post spn 15x18spn coda, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, written several months before the actual episode Summary: Castiel told him he loved him right before getting swallowed up by the Empty. Sam told him to talk, but words won’t come out, and really, how is he supposed to tell anyone how it feels to lose everything? So he writes. Letters on napkins, motel notepads, paperback books. He writes as he goes through every steps of grief, until finally there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

What the Water Gave Him | @mattzerella-sticks

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,794 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon, Implied/Reference Character Death, Sam Finds Out Summary: It was over. Chuck lost, Sam and Dean can live their lives how they want them. But their victory wasn't without losses. The biggest upset nearly taking Dean out of the game, happening so close to the final battle. Now he's on the other side, alive against all odds, but Sam knows he isn't happy. Not truly happy since the Empty stole his best friend. But there's a chance they can save him. A slim chance. A risk that Dean's willing to take despite every logical nerve in Sam's body screaming at him to look for better options. That threading a needle this small is too dangerous. That they don't have to take on another big bad, not anymore. That they don't have to risk their lives anymore. Dean is far past the point of listening. Dead set on this mission, Sam can only watch. And pray his brother proves him wrong.

A Classic Fear Of Rejection | @vampamber

Rating: General Word Count: 1,841 Main Tags/Warnings: pining, anxious Cas, Dean has self worth issues, love confession Summary: Castiel has been in love with Dean for almost ten years now. Ever since he'd raised the Righteous Man from perdition, actually. But Dean appears to be straight, so the angel just pined for him instead, fearing rejection. At Sam's insistence, Castiel finally admits his feelings, and it turns out that the angel may have been wrong about the elder Winchester's orientation.

The Things You Almost Say (But Never Do) | @wingsdestiel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,967 Main Tags/Warnings: Light Angst, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonverse, Season 11 Summary: Team Free Will hasn't been much of a team lately, and Castiel wishes that Dean would stop avoiding everything.

Forget Me Not | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2,932 Main Tags/Warnings: top Castiel/bottom Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Car Accidents, Hospitals, Amnesia, Temporary Amnesia, Therapy, Makeup Sex, Marriage Proposal, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: A tragic accident during an argument leaves Cas with a head injury and amnesia, but Dean is determined to stay by his husband's side, even when the memories that return are painful. Can they move past the memories?

Forgetting Your Blues | @amirosebooks

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3,440 Main Tags/Warnings: Season 12 finale fix-it, amnesia, temporary main character death, fluff and angst, getting together, openly bisexual Dean Winchester Summary: Dean Jones doesn't know his real name. He woke up on a public park bench a few months back with an empty wallet and a driver's license listing the name Dean Jones with his picture. The name doesn't feel right on his tongue, but he doesn't remember what part is wrong. The cop who found him in the park got Dean a job in a local diner. The diner feels comfortable to Dean. He understands the rhythm of the place, the ebb and flow of the people and food, even if he's clearly never carried a tray of hot plates in his life. He settles into his new life. He makes new friends. He takes beautiful women and men and people to his bed for comfort on long nights. He has nightmares about blood covering his hands. Who is he? Why has no one come looking for him? What has he done? Why did he fall apart when he saw a guy wearing a tan trenchcoat?

I NEED YOU | @cooloddball

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3,675 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst with a Happy Ending, Smut, Making up Summary: Sam is so done with Dean and Cas' bullshit. Time to get some things sorted out.

Even if the sky gets rough | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5,360 Main Tags/Warnings: Fuck Or Die, cursed!Dean, dubcon, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, First Kiss, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings Summary: Dean can’t believe he got cursed again. Only this time it’s a lot worse, because if he can’t find someone to fuck him… well, he dies.

spes alit et falit. | @celestialsilhouette

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5,524 Main Tags/Warnings: djinn fic, angst with a happy ending, first time Summary: ~hope sustains and deceives~ Dean wakes up with a gasp. He shoots up in his bed, panting, heart pounding, and wide awake. He grips the sheets in his hands tightly and swivels his head to look around the room, making a half-aborted movement to reach under the pillows for the gun he knows always lies there, the smooth metal familiar and comforting. He doesn’t recognize where he is.

Don't Call Me Demon | @angzlicas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6,432 Main Tags/Warnings: Demon!Dean, MOC!Dean, Human Castiel, Angst with a Happy Ending, Smut, Canon Compliant, Top!Dean, Bottom!Cas Summary: Dean’s shouting at this point, his eyes pure black again, and Castiel can feel the anger and panic tainting the room. It’s charged with emotion, even though most demons are incapable of feeling anything other than hatred and malice. It feels like fear. Or the one where Cas wants to take the mark from Dean

Life in prison | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7,084 Main Tags/Warnings: Hurt Dean Winchester, Dean had to steal food to eat, Dean had sex for money in this, Thief Dean Winchester, almost murderer Castiel, Semi-Public Sex, implied bottom dean Winchester, Non-Penetrative Sex, Soft Dean Winchester, almost rape (non Destiel), Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, First Time, Alternate Universe - PrisonPrisonAlternate Universe, Prison Sex Summary: When Dean gets arrested for stealing food, he has to face prison at 21. He is scared and his cellmate seems a bit harsh too. Will he warm up to him eventually? Or could he even fall in love with a prisoner?

Four of Swords | @mattzerella-sticks

Rating: No Rating Word Count: 7,127 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon, Human Cas, Baths, Dean Winchester has Self-Worth Issues, Castiel Takes Care of Dean Summary: The Four of Swords, in the present position, means you don't want to interact with the rest of the world. Because of stress, you need to spend some time with yourself - unhealthy always being 'on'. That the healthiest thing to do is to escape. Dean might crave escape, but it's not something he thinks he can have. Something he deserves, even. After his and Sam's most recent hunt, this cancerous feeling has grown heavy and weighs him down. He cannot escape on his own, as best he tries. Luckily a guardian 'former angel' angel swoops in at his lowest. Helps pick up the pieces as best he can and lovingly put them back together. But he can only do so much. The rest is up to Dean. Can Dean take those final steps, say those final words, and finally free himself?

Free To Be Us | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8,011 Main Tags/Warnings: Omega Castiel/Alpha Dean Winchester, Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Switching, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Claiming Bites, Semi-Public Sex, Kidnapping, emancipation, broken bonds, Suicide attempt mentioned, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Dystopia Summary: In a Dystopian world, Alphas and Omegas are rare. So rare that they meet only at semi-annual, semi-corrupt conventions organized by Betas, all for the purpose of breeding. Dean is one such Alpha, prized more for his seed than for himself, and untouched. Raised to value the system, he's about to have his world turned upside down, and it all starts with a decadent scent.

Not Here for Me | @mattzerella-sticks

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 8,113 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Humans, Alternate Universe - 2000s, Gay Bars, Closeted Dean Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, references to Dean's bad childhood Summary: If he had the choice, Dean never would have stepped foot inside this place. But Sam was curious - and curious is a hell of a lot better than the depression that clung to him day after day since Jess left him. So Dean swallows his pride, joins Sam as his babysitter. So he won't get find himself in any trouble. Trouble, however, is more likely to find Dean. In the bowels of his personal hell, can Dean resist temptations that have plagued him his entire life? Or will someone descend and lend a hand, showing Dean that the darkness he imagined only lived inside his own mind. And all that he feared was not as he seemed if he let himself step out of the shadows of his past.

Bearing A Heart | @lockandk3yfiction

Rating: Mature Word Count: 9,421 Main Tags/Warnings: Female Castiel (Supernatural); Castiel in a Female Vessel (Supernatural); Genderbending; Pregnant Castiel (Supernatural); Possessive Castiel (Supernatural); Miscommunication; Running Away; Death Threats; Angst with a Happy Ending; Abundant Mention of Death pertaining to an unborn child Summary: Castiel believes she is becoming more human in the way that she sleeps and eats. It’s a repercussion of falling after all. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s what she gives up to maintain her relationships with the people that she cares about. But what if she shared more than a “last night on Earth” with Dean Winchester? When Castiel learns that she is bearing the heart of another living being, the angel decides to do all in her power to protect her child.

Take Your Human Charge To Work Day (WIP) | @pointyearedelvishprincling

Rating: Mature Word Count: 11,222 Main Tags/Warnings: mutual pining, fluff and smut, case fic, top!castiel/bottom dean winchester, canon typical violence, angst with a happy ending, love confession, castiel dream walking, memory alteration, Summary: Written in third person with alternating POV of Dean & Cas. Something's changed between Dean and Castiel. Dean asks Cas to take him along wherever it is the angel goes when he's not around the Winchesters. He's curious, that's all. No feelings involved. It'll be fun. Dean's ready for Cas to take the wheel on their adventure, but turns out some feelings aren't so easy to repress when it's just the two of you. Cas needs some time alone. It's a heavy burden hearing Dean's longing like a constant prayer while Cas is trying to resist his own feelings. Now he's stuck in LA on a case that could have taken him minutes to solve, and Dean is very distracting. Why is it they can only let their guards down when faced with losing the other?

Scentless | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 11,416 Main Tags/Warnings: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Getting Together, Alpha Dean, Omega Cas Summary: Cas lost his mate and his scent a year ago when his scent gland was burned in order to brand him as a barren omega. Ever since then, he has been trying to pass as a beta, hiding his mutilated scent gland under the collar of his shirts. This works pretty well for him, until he meets alpha Dean Winchester, who turns his life upside down.

Mated (WIP) | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 14,721 Main Tags/Warnings: Falling in Love, Strangers to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, Dean in Denial about Sexuality, Alpha Cas, Alpha Dean, Bottom Cas, Top Dean Summary: Of course, if Dean had known that it was possible for an alpha to mate another alpha, he would never have let himself get carried away and bitten the hot alpha’s mating gland in the throes of passion. It wasn’t like he was into alphas, after all… Right? Having accidentally mated the most awesome alpha, he might have to rethink some things about himself as he gets to know his mate and starts falling for him.

Scented | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 19,298 Main Tags/Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Mpreg, Alpha Dean, Omega Cas, Top Dean, Bottom Cas Summary: Cas could not believe that a sweet and sexy alpha like Dean was interested in him—burned and barren omega, social outcast with an abusive ex-mate. To make their new relationship work, they have to figure out how to deal with Cas’ insecurities, society’s prejudices, and a surprise here and there along the way…

Tacoma | @ellis-park

Rating: Mature Word Count: 20,055 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon divergent, season 15 breakup, angst with a happy ending Summary: After an explosive fight, Castiel leaves the bunker and Dean decides to let him go. As Cas ventures halfway across the country on a journey to find himself, Dean reevaluates what he needs from life. And what he needs is Cas.

I Will Hang My Head Low | @andimeantittosting

Rating: Mature Word Count: 22,403 Main Tags/Warnings: Fairytale/Folklore AU, Sick Cas, Temporary MCD, Grief/Mourning, Boy King!Sam Summary: Dean Winchester gave up hunting when his brother became the prophesied Boy King of Hell. Now he ekes out a meager living, chopping wood for a nearby village, until one snowy night, he follows what appears to be a falling star, and encounters an injured angel. Afterwards, he tries to put the strange night from his mind. When he meets Castiel, a mysterious man with healing powers, they form an instant connection, and the more Dean learns of Castiel's powers—to heal, to protect, to purify—the more he begins to hope that Sam can be saved. But as they prepare to save Sam, Castiel grows sick, and then sicker still. Too late, Dean learns how much Castiel is willing to sacrifice for him. Inspired by the Decemberists' Crane Wife and the Japanese myth on which it is based.

The Awakening | Eggplant47 (A03)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 39,144 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe--Human, past child abuse (not explicit), past rape (not explicit), past child sexual abuse (just mentioned), Drug Use, Drunk Driving, Prostitution (past), Infidelity (not between Dean and Cas), Switching Summary: Dean Winchester had always lived on the surface of life, but a bump on the head and his young, blue-eyed brother-in-law are about to push him into the deep.

Lost Together | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 40,551 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel/Lucifer (Supernatural), bottom Castiel/top Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Witch Castiel (Supernatural), Familiars, Animal Abuse, Animal Death, Minor Character Death, Racism, Homophobic Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, True Mates, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Explicit Sexual Content, Claiming Bites, Knotting, Mpreg, Happy Ending, Shapeshifting Summary: Castiel is a powerful Omega witch, but even his magic can’t save him and those around him from his ex, Lucien. When his familiar is brutally killed, Cas vows never to take another familiar because he can’t imagine risking another animal’s life. A wolf roaming his property has other ideas. Meanwhile, his new neighbour, an Alpha named Dean, is worming his way into his heart in a way that Cas can’t resist. Can the two souls overcome danger, broken hearts, and secrets together, or will they remain lost? Through tragedy and misunderstandings, Dean and Cas are destined to be together. But destiny’s road can be deadly.

The Driver | @friendofcarlotta

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 40,963 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Stunt Driver Dean Winchester, Getaway Driver Dean Winchester, Convenience Store Clerk Castiel, Waiter Castiel, Kid Fic, Single Father Castiel, Angst with a Happy Ending, Minor Character Death, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Inspired by "Drive" (2011) Summary: Dean Winchester is a mechanic and occasional movie stunt driver living in LA. Most people don't know that Dean also drives getaway cars for armed robberies. For months now, Dean has been nursing a crush on his neighbor, a single father named Castiel. When a violent turf war between Dean's boss and a rival gangster threatens to compromise the safety of Castiel and his son, Dean makes a choice that will change his life forever.

(You Don’t Have To) Say You Love Me | @darknessbound3

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 44,379 Main Tags/Warnings: Heavy Angst, Top!Cas/Bottom!Dean, Separation, Reconciliation, Pining Summary: Six months after Castiel walked out on a twelve year marriage to Dean, he decides it’s time for a divorce. Dean, on the other hand, isn’t so sure, and is willing to stop at nothing to win his husband back.

The (Un)Buried Past | @gii-heylittleangel

Rating: Mature Word Count: 53,282 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Deaths, Gore and Blood, Angst, Intense Violence and use of guns, background relationships, Implied Smut Summary: After six years of living as a civilian, Dean has gotten rusty when it comes to defending himself. But, when the past comes knocking down everything in its way, Dean has to sink back into his old skin to get back what he wants. Ad what he finds out during the journey is not what he wants.

A Driver Worth His Salt | @thefandomsinhalor

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 67,844 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depiction of Violence, Mafia AU Vibe, BAMF Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean, Trauma Summary: The job is simple: drive the passenger a few times a week to yet-undisclosed locations and return with said passenger without fail. Be on time. Be discreet. And never interact with each other outside of work. Once twenty-year-old Dean meets the passenger in question—the sharply dressed and rough-looking Castiel Novak—he finds that abiding by those shady rules may be more complicated than he had anticipated.

All the Night Tide | @funnywings

Rating: Mature Word Count: 72,315 Main Tags/Warnings: Pirate AU, Golden Age of Piracy, Mythology and Lore, Temporary Major Character Death, Pirate!Castiel, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: Kidnapped for ransom by his childhood best friend, Dean is eager to return home and escape the pirate ship that has become his prison. But when Castiel sets his sights on a dangerous new quest, Dean chooses to stay by his side, even if it means facing down Death itself.

help me get where I belong (WIP) | ravenkings (AO3)

Rating: Mature Word Count: 73,437 Main Tags/Warnings: alcoholism, substance abuse, referenced child abuse, referenced assault, extensive crafting Summary: Dean Winchester just needs to get through a quick three-month stint in rehab to appease his little brother, then he'll be back to boozing away the rest of his short, shitty life. Except he kind of likes the group therapy leaders for AA, he's getting way better at watercoloring, and the crazy-haired guy on the NA side of the ward keeps winking at him.

Missing | @kitmistry

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 93,025 Main Tags/Warnings: Slow Burn, Murder Mystery, Post-Breakup, Mutual Pining, Heavy Angst, Minor Character Death, John Winchester's A+ parenting Summary: Two years ago Dean Winchester broke his heart. Now he's at Castiel's doorstep, asking for his help, but there's nothing Dean can say that will convince Castiel to listen. Or so he thinks. Faced with the news of Sam's disappearance, he decides to put his anger aside and follows Dean to a rural town in Nebraska, where they end up tangled in the missing girl investigation Sam was looking into. With an unknown threat closing in on them and all the things left unsaid between them about to be revealed, Castiel and Dean race against time to find Sam before it's too late.

All the Reasons We Are Real | @charlies-secret-closet and @jupiticas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 96,466 Main Tags/Warnings: Slow burn, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Fluff, Canon Adjacent, Sam Winchester Ships Destiel, Destiel Fluff, Abusive John Winchester, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Charlie Ships Destiel, Self Worth Issues, Major Angst, You Will Cry, Summary: Sam is tired of it. Tired of the staring contests and the eye-sex and the 'standing two inches apart' thing. With a little help from Rowena and Heller-Queen-Charlie, Sam becomes the matchmaker: and tries to make his ship canon. Meanwhile, Cas is hiding a painful secret about a certain deal, and Dean is hiding his deepest truth. Until one night, when their long-awaited happiness becomes their greatest sorrow. Written in the original canon universe, this fic uses many canon scenes from the series to show that Destiel doesn't need fanfiction to be real. It has always been there, it will always be there, and it is REAL.

Twenty-Nine Steps | @scones-and-texting-and-murder

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 113,621 Main Tags/Warnings: underage, rape/noncon , PTSD, past child abuse, child sexual abuse, suicidal thoughts, repressed memories Summary: At the age of forty, Dean Winchester has a strong, loving marriage, a successful business, and a young nephew he absolutely dotes upon. He and Cas are living the kind of life Dean never thought was meant for him, one where the future stretches out before them, solid and bright. When a series of small and seemingly unrelated events coalesce into a larger, horrifying realization, he’s rocked to his very core. With so much of what he thought he knew about himself ripped away, he’s trapped between confronting the trauma of his past and believing he’s worthy of the life he’s built.

Still Breathing | @casbelieves

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 124,924 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-con, Drug Use, Self-Harm, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Mentions of Suicide, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Reunion, Angst, First Love, Unrequited Love, Foster Care, Smut, Switch!Cas, Switch!Dean, Angst With a Happy Ending Summary: Castiel has no reason to trust anyone. As a teenager in the foster care system, he’s experienced horrific and unspeakable acts of violence and abuse that will haunt him for the rest of his life. When he arrives in Pacifica, CA, as the newest addition to the Singer’s foster family, the last thing he expects is to develop a deep and unbreakable bond with the boy-next-door, Dean Winchester. But Dean isn’t as in control of his own life as it seems, and the two struggle to navigate homophobia, trauma, and the pressures of an impending adulthood. When they meet again as young adults, eight years after their falling out, they are given a chance to rekindle a fire that never truly went out.

Patient Love (WIP) | @chaoticdean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 152,765 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Settings, US Navy SEAL Dean Winchester, Journalist Castiel, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, War Injury, PTSD, Grief/Mourning, Friends to Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Misunderstandings, Angst With a Happy Ending, Switch Dean/Switch Cas Summary: Castiel Novak is 27 when he suddenly loses his twin brother Jimmy, and his whole world turns to ashes. After 10 years as a Navy Special Warfare Operator, a battlefield injury forces 28-year-old Chief Petty Officer Dean Winchester to chose between being stuck behind a desk for the rest of his career or going back to civil life. Things are already complicated and painful enough as it is, but when former lovers Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak meet again after 10 years of radio silence and a galaxy of wounds and scars solidly standing between them, it feels like both a curse and a blessing has been placed on them both. Is there any hope in putting back their broken pieces together after a decade, and how do you deal with grief and broken dreams?

The Offering | @deans-jiggly-pudding

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 167,703 Main Tags/Warnings: Incubus!Castiel, AU - high school, John Winchester’s A+ parenting, rape/non-con elements, heavy angst with a happy ending Summary: As a pastor's son, Dean Winchester is expected to be all the things he's not: the church poster child, compliant with every plan his father has for him, and of course, straight. Fighting the confines of his father's faith and the control it has over his life, Dean is caught in the middle of a teen lock-in activity that will change his life. The boys accidentally summon an incubus named Cas, and his demands are clear. Dean discovers Cas to be everything he expected... Yet, even the darkest of creatures has secrets of his own. Can they be together, despite who they are, and despite everything designed to keep them apart?

A Ghost Story (WIP) | @valleydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 248,988 Main Tags/Warnings: Temporary Character Death, Alternate Universe - 19th Century, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Gardener Dean Winchester, Rich Castiel (Supernatural), Hunter Dean Winchester, Period-Typical Homophobia, References to Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide, Magic, College | University Student Dean Winchester, Ghost Castiel (Supernatural), Haunted Houses, Established Relationship, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Arranged Marriage, POV Dean Winchester, POV Castiel (Supernatural), Witch Hunters, Animal Death, Alternate Universe - Past Lives, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Mutual Pining, Slow Build, Secret Relationship, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Soulmates Summary: Castiel Novak has haunted his family's estate for 150 years, awaiting the return of his lost love. Upon their reunion, Dean Winchester learns of his past reincarnation. After the night of Castiel's resurrection, the two try to find out why they've been given a second chance. The answers may be hidden in the forgotten memories of Dean's former life - but sometimes the truth is better left buried.

Time Won’t Let Me | Aketch-22 (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 253,520 Main Tags/Warnings: Non Explicit Sex, Closeted Castiel, Hurt Comfort, Harry Potter Crossover, Angst and Feels Summary: Entering his 5th year of the Voldemort-controlled Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, muggle-born Dean Winchester is faced with the prospect of the Choosing - a ceremony where twelve students are picked based on blood status to participate in the Mudblood Games. In the Games, the tributes are transported to Purgatory. If you're the first to find your way to the portal out, you become part of Voldemort's world - and if you're not, you die. Will Dean, Sam, Castiel and the others be Chosen, or will they simply have to sit by and watch their friends suffer at the hands of the cruelest supernatural threat the trio have ever faced?

The Exceptional Bad Boy | @thedevil-is-in-the-details

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 329,619 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - High School, Bottom Castiel / Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester / Top Castiel, Past Rape / Non-con, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Alcohol Abuse / Alcoholism, Drugs, Suicide Attempt, Fluff and Smut, Tattoed Castiel, Depression, Anxiety, Self-harm, Stalking, Minor Character Death Summary: Again, they move to a new town and Dean is so sick of always moving around and always being the new kid at school. And he wants something better for his little brother Sam. But their father can't manage to keep a job for longer than two months. No matter where they are, there is one thing that is always the same though. Dean's reputation as bad boy. It was never a problem that there were already other bad boys because Dean was always the worst. But now, he has keen competition – Castiel Novak. Covered in tattoos, drinking, smoking, doing drugs, breaking other people's noses... Novak's reputation precedes him. But that he's still different than every bad boy Dean's ever met is pretty clear though, from the very first moment they meet.

#destiel trope collection 2021 #day 3 #angst with a happy ending #destiel #fanfic #supernatural #saving blogs; queuing things; the tumblr business

[cooloddball]

your thoughts about saying Mish and Jen meeting at the right time is really interesting because I reckon their interactions would have been very different, as you said Jensen was the kind of person to thank jesus for an award and misha was a bit of a rebel, so they probably would have had this very interesting chemistry, but it'd be like enemies to friends to lovers (or friends whichever way you think...i am just perceiving) - where as by the time they met now, Jensen was with Danneel so I 1/?

think Danneel kind of helped him become a bit more liberal (okay that's not the word but more just relaxed and helped maybe with toxic masculinity etc - he didn't drink with straws until he was into his 30s etc). Which is why Danneel and Misha get on so well cause they're quite alike. 2/2

I get what you mean and as much as I believe Danneel brought him out of his shell, I don't think Jensen was ever in any shell, it was a perfectly curated image for his career. There is nothing wrong with that, we all have images to uphold when it comes to our jobs and public lives vis-à-vis our privates lives.

You may be wondering why I'm saying it was crafted image and not a shell. Remember Jensen when he came to Hollywood, a young 18-year-old fair-haired charming boy. He seemed so free and happy being with his best friend (read as bf imo) Ty.

Here are a few posts about Jensen and Ty, including photos and interviews.

Then, he joined Days of Our Lives and he had other "relationships" with men that were pretty sus and rumours started circulating that he was gay.

Even his friend Ty tweeted something rather weird

Maybe it has nothing to do with Jensen but...There’s a lot to unpack about his and Ty’s relationship. It’s mind boggling.

You also mentioned him drinking with straws until he was in his 30s. He said his dad told him that real men don’t drink through straws. That’s an odd thing for a father to say to their child. Was he worried that Jensen wasn’t “manly”? Like what would prompt a parent to say that to their child? I don’t want to assume anything but that statement gave me John Winchester vibes. The fact that also Jensen had to call his dad after every episode of spn aired to get his feedback is just nerve wrecking, I can’t even imagine what it was like for him. Maybe that’s why he left home as soon as he turned 18. He was supposed to go to college with Ty but he moved to Hollywood instead and Ty took a gap year to join him there and they became “roommates”. As I said, there’s a Lot to unpack from his past life. 

In Hollywood you need to have a certain public image to get certain jobs. Do you think if he were perceived as gay he would be cast as Dean? Of course not. So, I think he was always and still is that carefree guy he was back then but as you said Dee who is a rebel helped him shed his layers but he still had some left. And then Misha came along and it was like his whole world was turned upside down. He has said that Misha and Dee are twisted and very similar so I can't even imagine the chaos that is Misha, Dee and Vicki. Once Dee,  Misha and  Vicki came into his life, hewas now with people who lived their lives on their own terms, unapologetically. And it may have taken a while but he shed all of the shells he had. 

That's why the Jensen we saw on the gag reels was not the same Jensen we used to see on panels. He was always freer in panels where Misha was present be it a cockles panel or a J2M panel. He even started being overly affectionate by giving Misha behind the ear kisses on the red carpet, spanking him, caressing his face during public interviews etc.

I mean as the years went by he shed more of his shell to the point where he wasn't afraid of what people thought anymore and as much as some people may say straddlegate is not public, it is in the public domain, YouTube is in the public domain. It just takes a few keyboard strokes "Jensen 2019 cons" and jib10 will show up among other things.

He also went ahead to post that jib10 selfie on his IG. Which tbh is gay AF. I have never seen men stand dick to dick, nip to nip and abs to abs like that before unless they were on top of each other or against each other doing grown-up things.

So I think if he met Misha back then, it wouldn’t have ended well for them. Jensen was too focused on his career and how he is perceived while Misha used acting as a means to an end to reach more people for socio-political change. A goal he has achieved. Acting was never his endgame. So, I think that as much as they would have fallen madly in love when they were younger, it would’ve ended badly and we probably wouldn’t have gotten Misha playing Cas or destiel or cockles. In retrospect, maybe it could’ve still happened because by the time Misha joined the show, Jensen was starting to be his real self again thanks to Dee.

I'm rambling now. I hope this makes sense because I'm never sure if I make any sense.

#asks #anon #cockles #young jensen #young cockles #my ramblings

[chocolatecakecas]

The Start of Forever: Destiel Honeymoon Ficlet

Warmth. That was the first thing Dean’s mind registered as he began to wake up. Then, he heard soft breathing, and felt familiar arms wrapped securely around his waist.

A smile tugged at his lips as the memories from yesterday came flooding back. Blue eyes, soft smiles, tears of joy, tight hugs, music and laughter. The vows, the kiss, the first dance, the speeches, their family, and the love that filled every corner of the room.

Through half-lidded eyes, he surveys his side of the room, landing on the silver and blue ring on his night stand. His eyes snap open.

It was real. They finally did it.

His gaze continues to travel down to the floor where he spots a rumpled dress shirt and pants. Memories from last night come rushing back.

Strong hands, burning hot skin, soft lips, heavy breathing, and those gorgeous blue eyes. His smile grows even wider.

It was all real. A soft gasp escapes his lips as a new sensation washes over him.

This morning, is the first time he's waking up with his husband. The first time he's waking up wrapped in his husband's arms.

Dean slowly shifts until he faces Cas. He gently reaches a hand out, pushing his hair messy hair out of Cas' face.

(Read the rest under the cut)

Dean's eyes trail over his features. Long lashes, the slope of his nose, chapped lips, down to his bare, tanned chest that's littered with bruises (what can Dean say? He just really likes Cas'....everything).

Wow, now who's getting their freak on watching other people sleep, Dean thinks to himself, grinning at the far off memory.

But Dean can't help it because Cas just looks like-well like an angel in his sleep, so gorgeous and peaceful.

But Dean knows all too well that "peaceful" goes right out the window as soon as he opens his eyes. Cas is not a morning person.

He huffs a laugh, thinking about the scene that's been playing out every morning. While Dean's at the stove, Cas will stumble into the kitchen and do his best impression of an octopus, flopping himself on Dean's back for a few moments, then he'll press a kiss behind his ear, grab his coffee (that Dean made, Cas still can't figure out the coffee maker) and slump down in a chair. Then they'll share breakfast together, with soft smiles and warm conversation waiting for Jack to barrel into the kitchen to join them, followed by Sam and Eileen.

It's all very domestic, and it's quickly becoming Dean's new favorite thing. And today will be the first time he does it, with his husband.

And if he wants that to happen together, he better stop staring at said husband, and get moving. With one last look and a kiss to his forehead, he reluctantly pulls himself from Cas' grip. Grabbing his ring, he quietly makes his way down the hall.

Dean immediately gets to work on Cas' favorite, blueberry pancakes, leaving some extra batter aside to just put chocolate chips in, for Jack. He pours it onto the sizzling flat top, and throws the bacon on the other end.

As he waits, Dean's eyes trail to the clock on the wall, and he curses at the time.

They were already off schedule. The price of wedding night bliss.

Today's a big day. And they are nowhere near ready to go yet, their bags aren't even in Baby's truck yet. They had gotten a bit distracted when they were packing a few nights ago (Dean blames Cas and his stupidly tight jeans he wanted to bring along). And if Cas keeps trying to pack his new, incredibly hot clothes, for the sole purpose of riling him up (Dean I need the leather jacket, what if it gets cold at night), they were never going to make it to Florida.

Their honeymoon.

They're staying at beach house for a week, courtesy of the minds of Sam and Eileen. Now he’s gonna be splashing in the ocean with Cas, playing rigged games together on the boardwalk, taking walks on the beach with his husband under the moonlight.

They are finally going to get to stick their toes in the sand.

Dean feels tears begin to prick in his eyes as he starts the coffee pot. He lets out a watery laugh.

Dean never thought he'd get this far. Hell, he didn't even think he'd make it to forty, much less get to spend the rest of his life with his best friend that he's been in love with for years. And now they're married, and they're going on their honeymoon.

His breathe catches in his throat, as he fills Cas' favorite mug.

Over the past few months, Dean has gotten more than he's ever allowed himself to want. He's gotten his freedom, the chance to live the rest of his life, the way he wants, with the people he wants. With Cas, his husband, and their three year old son, who's getting bigger everyday. With his brother and Eileen, soon to be sister in law. With his mom and Bobby, and Charlie, Claire, Jody and Donna, and the rest of his family which seems to be growing, for the first time in his life. And he-

Dean is pulled from his thoughts he feels warmth consumes him. Arms snake around his waist and a chin rests on his shoulder.

A smile stretches across his face.

"Mornin' sunshine".

All Dean gets in return is a squeeze and a contented hum. Cas hangs for a moment, running gentle fingers up and down Dean’s chest. Then he pushes off, grabs his mug and plops down at the table.

Dean plates pancakes for the both of them and turns, pausing at the scene before him.

Cas is propped up on his elbow, staring at Dean with dazed eyes and a relaxed smile on his lips. He's wearing Dean's robe and a pair sweatpants, not bothering with a shirt. Dean's breathe hitches when he catches sight of the ring on his finger. 

Dean smiles wider. That's his husband.

Dean quickly sits at the table, passing Cas his plate.

Cas gives a soft smile as a silent thank you, and they begin to eat.

Dean tries to go over the list of things they still need to do, but it's hard to focus, when his new husband is sitting inches away from him, wearing his wedding ring.

Focus Winchester. They need to finish packing the rest of their clothes (can't forget their matching Hawaiian shirts), they need to load up the trunk, double check that they have enough sun screen and beach towels, make sure Jack is settled with Sam and Eileen as they'll be watching him for the week. The thought pulls at Dean's heart, he'll miss his kid, they haven't been all been apart that long, not sin-

A hand wrapping around his own pulls him from his thoughts, and his heart he didn't realize was racing, slows

He looks up and is met with a tilted head and concerned blue eyes (some things never change). Cas squeezes his hand, a question on his lips, but Dean just smiles and squeezes back.

Cas always knows what he needs.

The smile seems to put Cas as ease, and his eyes trail down to their clasped hands, widening a little when he sees Dean's ring.

Cas slowly looks back up, lips parted in shock for a moment, then a smile takes over. And with a gravelly voice that should be illegal, he says

"Good morning, Dean".

And that's what does it.

Dean is sitting in their kitchen, eating blueberry pancakes, holding the hand of the man he married less than twenty four hours ago.

Dean never even allowed himself to dream, and now this has become his reality. Sitting across from his grumpy husband, his first best friend, rings on their fingers.

And he gets to do this, every single day, for the rest of his life. And he ju-

Little feet pound down the hall and Jack bursts into the kitchen greeting them loudly, pulling them from their daze.

With an amused smile, Cas moves first, grabbing Jack's plate and sippy cup, as Jack runs to his seat next to Dean.

They sit together, as Jack bounces in his seat telling them about how much fun he had at the "big party", and that he thinks they should all do it again.

Just as Dean is explaining they'll be having another "big party" for Uncle Sammy and Aunt Eileen's wedding, the very hungover couple appears in the doorway.

Dean and Cas share a laugh, as they watch them slump down in their chairs, plates piled high.

Dean's gaze travels over his little family as they eat and laugh over last nights events.

If one of them had told him a few months ago that this would be his life, he would have laughed in their face, and assumed they were possessed.

And now here they all sit. His husband, his son, his brother and his sister in law/new best friend, all sitting around a table, the day after his wedding, eating pancakes without a care in the world.

They really did it.

Cas stands and places his plate in the sink.

He drapes his standing body over Dean grabbing his hands, as he rests his head on his shoulder

"I love you, but I'm going to pack without any distractions, so we don't miss honeymoon". Cas whispers, amusement present in his voice.

He presses a soft kiss to Dean's cheek.

"Thank you for the pancakes, my love".

And with that, Dean watches in a daze, heart pounding in his chest, as Cas disppears down the hall, throwing a smirk over his shoulder.

My love, that's Cas' new favorite because it always knocks the wind out of Dean, causing his brain to momentarily short circuit.

He slowly looks back to the rest of his family at the table.

Eileen and Jack are signing back and forth (Jack is fluent in ASL, and a ton of other languages, it's the half angel in him, but he actually can't read in any language, go figure), while Sam tries not to fall asleep, with his head lolling in his hand.

Dean stared at them for a moment, taking in the sheer normalcy of the scene before him. As he laughs at Sam jerking himself awake, his thoughts travelled back to Cas, who was packing. Alone. In their bedroom.

And with that Dean was up, plate in the sink, hastily making his way to to their room, to find his husband. They were already off schedule, so he figured could afford to be a little later.

But now, as they drive together late into the night, accompanied by the sounds of Cas' mixtape (the first one Dean made him, it was his favorite after all), Dean thinks about what his life has become.

He glances down at their hands, clasped loosely across the bench, his eyes traveling up to Cas's face, illuminated by the glow of passing street lights.

Soon they'll be on a beach together, soaking up the sun in dorky floral shirts, and pastel shorts. Basking in the bliss of their honeymoon, alongside the love of his life.

Cas turns his head, meeting Dean’s eyes in the darkness. A gentle smile rests on his lips, which Dean automatically mirrors. And giving his hand a squeeze, Dean turns his gaze back to the road ahead.

Today was only day one, and they have the rest of their lives to go.

Tag list:

@theangelwiththewormstache @smiledean @shelikestv @starrynightdeancas @chaoticdean @midnightwings-deancas @jellydeans @sunshine-jack @archervale

@wikiangela @organicpurplepants @bbcalamity @tkdwolf2012 @doemons-blog @rolling-stoned-girl @skylerkernaghan @shadowywerewolfqueen @the-cookie-navy

@martymar1963 @thelahatiel @thefantasyfiend @castielle-deanna @aestheticflyer26 @multi-fandom-imagine @x-mypeopleskillsarerusty-x

(As always, please let me know if you would like to be added or removed💛!!!)

#i am having a LOT of feelings about their first morning and their honeymoon #as always i am legally obligated to baby jack truth do jack is an ACTUAL three year old child #idk i wrote fluff which i never do??? i hope you like it and that it makes sense!!! #dean winchester #castiel #destiel wedding #destiel honeymoon #destiel #jack kline #eileen leahy #bec writes #deancas #casdean #baby!jack #baby jack truthing #dadstiel #destiel fic #destiel ficlet

[gentlemancowboy]

21 Favorite Creations of 2021

I was tagged by @deanncastiel and @becauseofthebowties to post my favorite or most popular creation for every month in 2021, but I had already started this list so I’m going to mash the two together. So in no particular order, here are my favorite creations of 2021:

#parallelsnatural (gifset): My OTPs. These were basically the exact same scene.

Season Gr8 (gifset): This was a Make Me Choose request and it’s still, to this day, one of my favorite general sets. 

Sure, John (edit): The edit that launched a thousand ships, as I like to call it. One of my first creations on this site and the one that really got me into the Supernatural fandom.

Dean Flirting with Cas (gifset): Oh, Dean. Honey. You ain’t subtle. And compiling these all back-to-back really made it that much more apparent. I love him, but he’s an idiot.

Destiel + Romance Arc Tropes (gifset): This is a lot different from the edits I normally do, and I had a blast making it.

The Gang Learns About Angel-Killing Bullets (gifset): When you try to break up your Supernatural viewing with It’s Always Sunny.

Destiel + The End (gifset): Loved my coloring on this set and no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to replicate it. 

TFW Takes a Case in Schitt’s Creek (gifset): Basically what my brand is all about. I only wish this could have happened irl.

Heartbreaker, Cosplayer also known as Dollynatural Part III (amv): Out of all my Dollynatural amvs, this one was by far my favorite to create (9 to 5 loses points because compiling all those clips was a PAIN). And—I mean—who doesn’t love Dean and his silly little outfits?

You Have Fallen in Every Way Imaginable (gifset): What is there to say about Castiel’s arc that hasn’t already been said. Loved creating this and playing around with different coloring than I normally do.

Kiss and Make Up (fic): My first fic! Had a ton of fun writing this.

Arcade (amv): As soon as I heard this song I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I think making this caused me permanent brain damage but I really like how if turned out. 

Four Times Dean Didn’t Meet Cas + One Time He Did (gifset): Lazarus Rising supremacy. 

Playing Dress-up in Cars with Boys (gifset): We love a good parallel.

Alexis Rose (gifset): This got very little traction but I loved making this set for one of my favorite characters. Extremely proud of my coloring on this as well.

Dean Reacting to Cowboys (gifset): I love him I love him I love him.

Destiel + First Class (gifset): My first lyric set! 

#gifyourhuckleberry (gifset): How I was first introduced to the #cowboycoven, who graciously brought me into the fold when I made this set thinking it was just a general fandom event 😅absolutely no regrets.

Slow Burn (gifset): I had a lot of fun with the overlays and fonts on this one.

10x22 (gifset): I loved this poem by @bestiarum so much that I made a set for part of it. I love how it came out.

How Mercurial is Life (fic): After months of writing and rewriting, I finally took the leap and started posting my crossover fic! I’m only 3 chapters into this but it continues to be a true labor of love. Can’t wait to see where it goes.

No pressure tagging @archivistsammy @cosmiccas @buckystiel @emeraldcas @xofemeraldstars and anyone else who might be interested in doing this prompt or the original one. 

#my edits #2021 wrapped #spn #schitt's creek

[clairenatural]

destiel, some sort of au, 1.4k of pre-marriage stress turned to fluff that I wrote at 4am. enjoy!

There’s a knock on the bathroom door, and Dean jerks his head up towards it.

Don’t be Cas, don’t be Cas, don’t be—

“Dean?” Cas calls.

Fuck.

He debates telling him to go away. He debates not answering. Neither will work.

“Sam send you?” He settles for instead, and he hates how shaky his voice sounds.

“Yes.”

“I told him not to.”

“I know. We decided I should come anyway.”

Dean almost laughs at that—at that absurd response to this absurd situation. It comes out more like a cough. He stares down at his dress pants, his shoes. They’re new. It’s all new.

When he speaks again, his voice is soft, and he refuses to look at the door. “What are we doing here, man?”

There’s a sigh from the other side. “Theoretically, we’re getting married, but—” a soft thump, as Cas leans against the wood, “—I suppose that’s really up to you.”

Dean grimaces. There’s no anger in his fiancé’s voice. No malice. Concern, maybe, but he’s doing a good job wrangling it back into the same even tone he uses with his panicked undergrads. Dean hates it, being talked to like some scared kid, but he is hiding in a bathroom at his own wedding, so. He suspects he deserves it.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, so quietly he’s not sure if Cas will hear him. For a long minute, the only response he gets is the swish of fabric as the other man slides down the door, the telltale clacking of dress shoes as he situates himself on the hardwood. Then—

“I love you,” Cas starts, and it’s so much more than Dean deserves at the moment that he suddenly feels like he might cry. “You know that, right?”

Dean blinks. “I—yeah. Yeah, of course I do.” He shifts, and suddenly the toilet seat is digging uncomfortably into his thighs. “I love you, too.”

“Good,” there’s another soft thump as Cas leans his head back against the door, and Dean hates how relieved he sounds. “Okay. So—” his voice is less steady, now, and a pang of guilt shoots through Dean’s chest. What is he doing. “If you don’t want to do this, we won’t.”

Dean had already pushed himself off the toilet seat, but now he freezes. “What?”

“We can go home, right now. We won’t get the deposits back, but I’m sure our guests would enjoy the free party, and we—”

“Wait,” Dean has crossed the room, now. “You’d do that for me?” There’s a piece of Cas’ coat peeking under the door frame. Dean stares at it. “And we’d—”

“Order pizza, and pretend it’s a normal Saturday, and talk about this in the morning.” It’s not the we’d be fine he was hoping for, but it’s better than he expected.

Dean sighs and turns, mirroring Cas in sliding down his own side of the door to settle on the tile floor. “You deserve so much better than that, man.”

He knows Cas is tilting his head. “Is that what this is about? What I deserve?”

Dean pauses. “No,” he lies.

“Okay. Is it about what you deserve?”

“Don’t psychoanalyze me,” Dean snaps, and then immediately feels like the scum of the Earth.

Cas’ weary sigh will haunt him for the rest of his days. “I’m not. I’m just—I want to understand.”

I want to understand why you’re hiding in a bathroom on our wedding day. Why you’re doing this to me. To us.

Yeah, Dean does too.

Before he can respond there’s a flurry of footsteps, followed by a rushed whisper and what sounds like gesturing before the footsteps recede.

“Sam?” he hazards a guess.

“He’s just worried.”

“He always is.” Dean pauses. “Are guests getting worried, too?”

“…Yes,” Cas answers slowly, and then too quickly. “But they don’t matter. This isn’t about them.”

Dean groans, pulls his knees up to his chest, and buries his face in his hands. “’Course they matter,” he grumbles into his palms. “That’s why we’re here,” by here he means the fancy mansion estate Naomi had wanted them to rent.

“Dean, you know I would have married you in a courthouse.” He sounds puzzled, now, which is at least a nice departure from exhausted/crushed/dangerously calm.

Dean does not know. “What?”

Cas hums. “Or in a roadside chapel. Or in one of those Vegas Elvis churches.”

He feels incredibly dumb for not knowing this.

Cas is still talking. “And I would have waited 5, 10 years.” He pauses, thinking. “20, even.” 

Dean feels a little breathless. “You were serious, earlier? When you said…if I say no, we’ll go home. Just like that, everything’s cool?”

“Just like that,” Cas agrees. “Although ‘cool’ is a strong word.” At least he’s being honest. He takes a deep breath before continuing. “My point is, Dean, that I am already yours in every way that matters, and I will remain so for as long as you’ll have me. Wedding today or not.”

Dean groans and leans his head back against the door. “That simple, huh?” he grumbles, even as his brain is yelling yes, it is.

“I think that’s part of the point,” comes the reply, and there’s a smile in his voice for the first time in the conversation.

“...Me too,” Dean replies after a beat, and it’s as soft as his earlier apology but this time he knows Cas can hear him. “You gotta know that, Cas.”

“I do,” Cas confirms, and it’s less unsure than Dean was afraid it would be.

Dean starts to smile back but catches himself, instead dragging a hand across his face, because despite these warm fuzzies—“You’re still gonna regret this.” It’s a neutral remark. Like a fact.

He can almost hear the eye roll.

“You’ve been saying that for our entire relationship, and yet I am not the one hiding from our wedding in the bathroom,” Cas replies, and Dean would call him out for being a smartass if he didn’t have an irritatingly valid point.

“Yeah, but—” he starts a futile attempt to argue, but Cas cuts him off.

“I could sit here and list off all the reasons why I’m here—why I’m choosing to be here—but I have some very well thought-out vows on the subject—” Dean is suddenly acutely aware of the paper tucked into his own suit jacket “—and I’m prepared to spend the rest of our lives convincing you that you deserve me, and I deserve you, and we deserve us.”

And that…..that actually sounds pretty good.

Okay.

Okay, yeah.

He rolls this over in his head for a moment before nodding and preparing to stand, to apologize, to—something. But Cas obviously takes the silence as there being something (else) wrong, because after a few seconds of shuffling his fingers slide under the door.

He’s (awkwardly, as much as the tight space will allow) holding his engagement ring.

He took off his engagement ring, and now he’s giving it back, and Dean’s not sure what could have gone horribly wrong in those few seconds of silence but this is obviously the other shoe dropping, already¸ and—

“Will you marry me?” Cas asks, voice muffled from where his face is obviously pressed against the wood.

Dean freezes. He stares at the ring. He remembers buying it. He remembers giving it to Cas in the first place. And now he's hiding in the bathroom on their wedding day and his perfect dork of a fiancé, who he will never deserve but who loves him so much anyway, is...proposing back.

He picks it up and puts it on his own finger, and it looks out of place and it doesn’t fit right, but suddenly he’s grinning so much that he doesn’t care. He stands quickly and yanks the door open, then reaches down to pull his startled fiancé up off the floor and into his arms.

“Yes?” Cas asks, pushing back just enough to be able to breathe, and suddenly the whole weight of the situation hits Dean at once. His grin falters.

“Yes—yeah, of course. I’m giving you the ring back, obviously, but—Christ, Cas, I’m so sorry, I don’t—”

Cas puts a finger to his lips, cutting off the babbling. “Wedding first, apologies after.”

Dean nods. Cas lets his hand drop but Dean catches it, presses a kiss to his fingertips, and links it with his own. He takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly. Cas reaches out for his face with his free hand and smooths his thumb over Dean’s cheekbone.

“I love you,” he says, very seriously.

“I know,” Dean smiles, and it’s only a bit nervous. He risks leaning down to press a kiss to Cas’ forehead. “Come on." When he steps away he also steps forward, tugging Cas by the hand down the upstairs hallway. “Let’s go get married.”

#destiel #deancas #destiel fic #deancas fic #fic #truly i do not know what this is #i wrote it at 4am so ur getting it at 4am #my words #1k+ words

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

Continuing my dissertation on why Supernatural is about Destiel even when Cas is not in the episode, and here is my analysis of 11x18 - The Chitters.

I initially had this episode on a “never watching again” because the monster grossed me out so much, but then I realized that the writers were giving us a literal Dean/Cas as husbands mirror story by doing this

and hiding it in an episode with the most grotesque MOTW imaginable (seriously, name a worse monster than underground creatures who impregnate humans with their eggs via orgy and leave them in a damn cave; oh and cause them to shake, chitter, and have glowy green eyes.  BRB, puking).

A little trickster moment in the beginning starting this episode with two brothers, and the eldest - Matt - dying in a *shocker* supernatural way, and the youngest - Jesse - then going on to dedicate his life to avenging his brother’s death.  A lot of reviewers consider this intro to mean we are supposed to be looking for Sam/Dean parallels in the following narrative bEcAusE tHAt is WhAT thE boYS wOuLD dO, but I POSIT TO YOU IT IS NOT ONLY A 10000000 percent DESTIEL STORY, BUT ALSO THAT this is established in the very first scene - the conversation between Jesse and Matt in the flashback:

JESSE

It finally happened.

MATT

What? You didn’t get detention this week?

JESSE

Me and Jackie, we kissed.

MATT:

Okay, can I stop hearing about him every two minutes now? “You think he likes me?”, “Jackie looked at me. I-I think he looked at me.”

JESSE

He definitely likes me.

***I mean Matt’s comment -  does this not immediately remind you of Sam “I am in constant Destiel super hell” Winchester?

For reference, here is Sam’s “I am in super hell please stop now” face:

**Also he LOOKED AT HIM?! What is 80% of Destiel if not subtextual pining and LOOKING.  I don’t make the rules.  Jesse is Dean.  And Matt is dead.  Matt’s death ENDS the “brother portion” of this story insofar as the parallel is concerned. (**please note I am not advocating for Sam to die.  the parallel is just NOT about the brother storyline in this episode - there are plenty of other “mirrors” for the brother storyline, but this is NOT one of them).

We cut to the real Dean continuing in FULL RESEARCH MODE ACTIVATED because Amara has Cas at this point and he is panicking.  

Was the red and black flannel an intentional wardrobe choice to mirror Jesse’s jacket?  We will never know. (Yes.  Everything is intentional.  This is Supernatural. We hate it here. Also Cesar is in a KHAKI vest because KHAKI means THINGS in Supernatural for REASONS). 

Also I love FULL RESEARCH MODE ACTIVATED desperately trying to get Cas back Dean.  It’s real “I just started studying for my final the night before at 10 p.m.” energy.  He’s refusing to stop to even look at Sam here:

Anyway, a few gross scenes of green eyed people, orgies, and a hilarious conversation about weed (or was it oregano?- 

Jensen Ackles you slay me) later -

Jesse and Cesar save Dean’s bacon and the four of them end up in a bar chatting over beers.  Here is where it is INCREDIBLY apparent that Jesse is a mirror for Dean (also I’d watch a bottle episode of these four hanging out doing regular every day stuff a la How I Met Your Mother or Friends).  

JESSE

One of them took my brother 27 years ago.

[Sam and Dean look surprised. Sam turns to Dean, and Dean is speechless.

DEAN

[looks to Jesse] I’m sorry to hear that.

JESSE

I’ve been waiting years to come back and have this shot at them. So, I hope you understand, I’m gonna ask you two to take a step back from this one.

DEAN

[nods] Well, catch us up. Where have you guys been?

JESSE

In the woods, where the action is, looking for their burrow and saving your ass.

[Sam is slightly taken aback, but he gives a look of approval. Cesar scoffs.]

JESSE

What?

CESAR

Well, one of the reasons we’ve been holed up in the trees is because Jesse hates the town and everyone in it.

JESSE

Because they’re ignorant and useless. [turns to Cesar] They didn’t believe me 27 years ago, they’re not gonna start now.

CESAR

[sternly] It’s boneheaded not to be following leads in town.

JESSE

Hey, nobody stopping you from talking to the whole box of crackers.

[Cesar sighs and looks away.]

***You could replace “Jesse” with “Dean” and the lines wouldn’t need to change an iota to stay in the character.  Cesar’s scoffing, the stern response, calling Jesse boneheaded, sighing, looking away exasperatedly - 100% Cas energy.  I really don’t make the rules. Cesar isn’t anything like Sam, and he isn’t meant to be.  This is not a brother story.  THIS IS A STORY ABOUT TRUE LOVE DAMMIT.

Dean makes that red herring comment about them bickering just like brothers , then:

Which by the way is EXACTLY how Dean and Cas bicker.  Hence why Sam is always in super hell.  

I can’t find a better quality image of this montage, but I really wanted to bring attention to the EXPRESSION on Dean’s face:

***Sure, Dean. You’re curious about what it’s like to live with a hunter.  Okay. 

Also, whoever made this, you get it.

They start arguing on the next step - questioning a former sheriff, or going back to the woods to search for the creepy crawlies’ hidey hole.

JESSE

[sternly] We need to find the burrow.

CESAR

[patiently] Jess, we’ve been beating around the woods for two days.

JESSE

[stubbornly] That’s where they are. You saw the tracks.

CESAR

I can keep searching on my own. We’re losing.

****sternly-patiently-stubbornly <- it’s like a never-ending Destiel refrain.  Cesar’s willingness to continue on what is purely Jesse’s quest for revenge so Jesse can move on is also so very Cas-adjacent.  I LOVE A SUBTEXTUAL PARALLEL.

Anyway, then they split into twos, pairing Sam with Jesse and Cesar with Dean for the next few scenes.  Lots of reviewers tracked this as a brother-brother (i.e. Sam is paired with the version of himself and Dean is paired with the version of himself) parallel, but THIS scene with Sam, Jesse, and the old sheriff SCREAMS otherwise:

JESSE

[angrily pushed Cochran down the chair] You son of a bitch.

[Sam moves forward to get Jesse back.]

JESSE

You knew the whole time! You knew where they were when everybody was suffering.

COCHRAN

[pushes Jesse off him] I was suffering too!

SAM

[pulls Jesse away from Cochran and tries to calm him down] Jesse. Hey, hey. Hold on. Hold on.

***EXCUSE ME, did he just say DEAN’S CATCHPHRASE.  And how many times has Sam done this exact thing to Dean when he is in a rage?!?   I DO NOT MAKE THE RULES.  

ALSO something about THE JUXTAPOSITION of Cesar and Jesse in the following scene.  This is very Dean with Cas quietly waiting for him to me.

A lot of creepy monster montage scenes and dead bodies later, the day is saved.  Cue adorable husband exchange, and the news that Jesse and Cesar are going to retire.  

SAM

So, uh, what’s freedom look like?

JESSE

Nice little spread in New Mexico. We’ve been paying on it for years. Set foot on it about … twice?

CESAR

Gonna raise horses. And if that goes bust, Jesse used to be an EMT.

JESSE

Oh, so now I’m supporting your ass?

[Cesar chuckles and looks at Jesse lovingly, before both men turns to the Winchesters. Sam follows the laugh.]

CESAR

 It’s time to start living.

Also this SHOULDER touch.  And it’s the left shoulder.  (there is a great Casifer post out there about how Dean was thrown off specifically because Casifer touched his RIGHT shoulder, and Cas always touches his LEFT).  

All I really need now is a FACE CUP, tbh.  

You want more parallels?  Recall that CESAR (aka Cas-adjacent) is the one who saves Dean’s bacon in the beginning.  

Then he helps him get up off the ground. You know, as in he RAISES him from -

(JENSEN YOUR ACTING CHOICES WITH THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE ILYSM)

Dean, realizing that he is watching an AU version of himself and his boyfriend/future husband:

Yes, hi, we are the same character.

Anyway, I will always and forever love this episode for showing us the ending Dean and Cas deserved (WHAT WAS THE REASONNNN) - settling down on a small ranch together in New Mexico.  At least these two got their happily ever after.

ALSO, MANIFESTING

Maybe then Sam can finally leave super hell.

BONUS:  

Sam: Couldn’t do it, huh?

Dean: [shakes head] No, didn’t feel right.

Sam: Yeah. I know what you mean. Two hunters who make it to the finish line?

Dean: Yeah, you leave that alone.

Saving this to my box of INCONSISTENCY TRASH DUMP FOR 15x20.

P.S. I am starting to develop a theory that the episodes we all like LEAST, and therefore tend to skip [or that have off putting plotlines/ don’t go with the general myth arc/creepy monsters/bizarre or even boring scenarios] are the ones with potentially the most subtext, and therefore the best underlying story line (so likely no Cas in the episode, random stuff like Red Meat, the creepy chitters monster that makes you want to cringe). 

So at the end of the day, the subtext was always the real story anyway.

(OMG I JUST REMEMBERED THAT THE GIRL WEREWOLF IN BLOODLINES WEARS A FUCKING KHAKI TRENCH COAT THE ENTIRE TIME.  AM I GOING TO HAVE TO REWATCH THE ALWAYS SKIPPABLE BLOODLINES NOW?  And that definitely means I am DOOMED to rewatch the worst episode that ever was when I get to season 15.  Dammit.  What have I done?!?!??!?!)

#destiel #spn analysis #spn fandom #destiel parallels #spn mirrors #destiel mirrors #deancas #supernatural #spn recap #spn seson 11 #spn 11x19