#i took so long to write this i watched the entirety of Titanic while trying to write it lmao

[findafight]

Hope you're okay with my stray starbara thoughts bc oh my god you've given me brainworms like no other!!!

They're getting serious and telling each other things that they've never told anyone else before. Barb tells Steve that she worries that Nancy is outgrowing her and their friendship is slowly dissolving. She felt it before but it's worse now after the Upside Down and Nancy is charging her way through the journalism world. And she doesn't know what to do. Steve tells her that he does all these things to impress his father but he's not sure if he likes the man he's becoming. Especially since sometimes he's not sure if his dad even loves him. He sure as shit doesn't love his mother what with all the cheating his dad does. He talks about how lonely he gets in that big empty house by himself and she talks about the stares she gets now that she's Poor Barbara Holland who got sick from a gas leak and got lost in the woods.

Steve invites Barb around to use the pool. He talks about how the water will be good for her physical therapy - and while he's not technically wrong it slowly dissolves into them goofing off, splashing each other, and kissing in the pool loungers. She doesn't feel as self conscious with Steve there with her being supportive the whole time.

The first time he lends her his letterman jacket she rolls her eyes at what a fucking move that was Harrington, oh my god. But she blushes and wears the jacket and Steve smiles and looks so happy and smiley he's practically dizzy with it.

He tells her his hair care secrets and she promises not to tell anyone. Barb lets him do her hair for her one time and it comes out so soft and looks so good and she really likes the feeling of his nails gently scratching against her scalp. She knits him a scarf , and it comes out a little wonky with a couple of missed stitches, and all she can see are the imperfections, but Steve loves it and wears it all winter.

He gets his summer job working at Scoops and he hates his dad for forcing him into it but Robin seems cool - if a bit standoffish to him at the moment. The first time Barb comes by to visit while he's on the clock he pulls out the "set sail on an ocean of flavour with me" speech and it's so lame and so dorky but Barb leans over the counter to kiss him on the cheek when he gets her a free cone.

She gets nightmares of the Upside Down still - though they're not as frequent anymore - and they're horrible but if Steve's there he'll hold her close so she can feel his warmth, and his heartbeat, and he'll run his hand along her back until she feels safe again. She returns the favour after the mall burns down and he dreams of being tortured. Of almost dying. Of being drugged and out of control of himself while others were in danger. She holds him this time and reminds him that he's not alone, and he's safe.

idk they're in love!!

I am not only fine with it, I encourage it!!! Send me so many Starbara thoughts! Brainworms forever!!

yes yes them slowly opening up to each other, being soft together!! How Steve doesn't know what he wants from the future, how Barb feels Nancy pulling away (even though it's Barb who got the shiny, new, popular boyfriend) and how she feels she did the same thing to Robin, way back when. How Barb's parents mean well but they're suffocating in their over-protectiveness and she can't even properly talk to them about what she went through. How Steve doesn't want to become his Father, and how especially doesn't want to become his mother, how he thinks he might not be doomed to it when he's with Barb.

She tells him about the Upside Down, how cold and dark it was and how scared she had been. About the nightmares where it feels like she'll never be warm or able to breathe easily again. How sometimes she can't sleep until she's called the Byers and made sure Will is alright and how sometimes she gets a call from him in the middle of the night doing the same. She tells Steve that some days, he's the only thing about her life that she feels she chose. When her parents were pleased she wasn't distracted by boys, she chose Steve; when Nancy was a bit surprised(though encouraging) at how excited Barb was for the party, she chose Steve; after everything, when the world had tipped right-side up but she was surrounded by doctors and government agents and confusion, Barb chose Steve; how she wants to keep choosing him. (Steve holds her tight, right then. Kisses her forehead as she buries her face in his neck and tells her that he's here, she's safe, it's over. Doesn't tell her quite yet that he's pretty sure she's the first person to choose to love him.)

They float in his pool, no bad memories in it, no last-seen pictures of a girl dangling her legs over the side. Just them, chatting and splashing and laughing and kissing. Feeling like the teenagers they're supposed to be. When he first suggested it she joked that he's just making excuses to see her in her swim suit, and it's a bit self deprecating, because why would he? but Steve just smirked, shrugged, obviously dragged his eyes up and down her body, and said "it worked, didn't it?"

They get looks when he pulls Cliche Boyfriend Stunts and how openly gone on her he is. @jestyzestyn on the first post pointed out that beauty standards and 80's tropes played into the original Nacy-Barb-Steve dynamic. So not only is she Poor Barbara Holland, she's also a not conventionally Pretty Girl going out with thee most desirable boy at school. There's whispers that Steve feels sorry for her--guilty, after she went missing from his house. Once, someone asked why he was with the girl who got poisoned by the gas leak, and he gave them such a scathing look that no one asked again. (the answer is, of course, that he loves her. She makes him feel safe, and loved, and that there's more to life than their dinky hometown.)

She teases that maybe since she has his junior varsity jacket, she'll have to make him a sweater one of these days. (And she knows about the Curse, how making a boyfriend a sweater will inevitably lead to a breakup. but what is the time and effort of knitting a sweater to finding out monsters exist and fighting one, on the off chance it'll help save her? probably even, she thinks.) He says she better make sure it matches his scarf.

Okay lighter side, Steve lifeguarded the summer of '84, and this is prime time for girlfriend to ogling him. But it is also prime people-who-are-not-your-gf-ogling-you-time. Barb is like Steve. those girls were flirting with you. If they wanted an actual pool noodle they would have gone to the office the first time you told them to. and he does his confused puppy head tilt going "why would they do that? everybody knows I'm dating you?" and she doesn't know if she needs to explain the concept of trying to steal someone's man and also that he's hot to him or not. She's like babe.....ok. (there was some jealousy at first but tbh after a guy has told you he loves you and told you how much his parents infidelity bothers him and also literally fought a monster to save you [she isn't letting that one go. nancy makes sense. Nancy is her best friend and is like a dog with a bone for mysteries. Jonathan also makes sense. His brother was missing too. She had been seeing Steve barely a month before everything. who DOES that? Steve. Steve does.] you kinda grow secure in your relationship)

(in the fall, after they get to the tunnels, Steve gives her an out. looking at her through his goggles. He tells her she doesn't have to go back down there, doesn't have to touch the Upside Down again, but she clenches her jaw and tells him that he's concussed and there's no way she's letting him go down alone.)

but oof. lifeguarding you can't get distracted so even tho Barb gets to ogle hot bf steve is a professional and does not get to ogle hot gf the same :( '85 is when they really get their flirt on during company time. He tries on the outfit and shows her at home and he's like "this is literally the worst day of my life. this is horrible."

and she goes "well, hon. at least it makes your butt look good?"

and Steve huffs and crosses his arms over his chest and says "my butt makes everything look good. Let's not give any credit to the sailor suit."

"okay okay."

And every time she comes in he does the "ocean of flavour" spiel and she's dying. he's soooo lame. she loves him so much. she kisses him every time about it.

Robin is a bit cold and standoffish because steve is not only the guy who never paid attention to Tammy Thompson, he's also the guy currently dating Robin's childhood best friend who sort of ditched her. It's many messy feelings inside our girl. But Barb does try to make amends with Robin, and they do rekindle their friendship (and gang up on Steve)(literally I think it'd be so funny if Steve wanted to be Robin's friend sooo bad. world's most giant squish on her. sooo embarrassing. And Brab is playfully like oooh do you have a cruuush on Robin? and steve is like absolutely not I am in love with YOU i just want Robin to live next door and also share cat custody what's not to get?)

When Dustin comes back, talking about Suzie, he looks right at Steve, starry-eyed, and says "she my Barb." hkadsjhfkashd

After the Russian base Barb spends a lot of nights in bed with two other people, shaking them out of nightmares she doesn't want to comprehend, not really knowing what to do but loving them anyways.

#starbara #hollington #steve harrington #barbara holland #barb holland #stranger things #stranger things au #findaanswers #momotonescreaming #steve x barb #i took so long to write this i watched the entirety of Titanic while trying to write it lmao #should i tag the stobin that i compulsively insert into everything? i think i will #stobin #finda writes stuff #barb making fun of the loud sigh steve lets out whenever dustin annoys him #them telepathically communicating because theyve been together long enough to just KNOW #sorry i forgot a readmore at first!!

[saeransangel]

The Head and the Heart

Anonymous asked:

hiiii, first of all, i wanted to tell you that you’re an amazing writer and i’m so in love with all of your works 😭🤲🏻 !!! and secondly i would like to request something. okay so.. i’ve a little headcanon in my head for a while now, where connie’s s/o is a titan shifter. so i was wondering if u could write something where connie’s s/o wants to jump instead of armin to save his mother? thank you so much in advance and i hope u have a wonderful day <33

Canon Verse Connie x Reader

A/N: Hii I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this. I hope you like it:)

Summary: Y/N is a titan shifter and is fully prepared to sacrifice themselves to save Connie's mother so Falco can live.

CW: SEASON 4 SPOILERS, Angst, swearing, canon violence.

WC: 1.6k (not proofread yet)

When Connie first discovered you were a titan shifter, he was enthralled. He had so many questions for you. Why didn't you tell him? He was your boyfriend after all. Why did you keep this from him? But also, do you have any like... cool abilities?

Overall he was amazed that you were a titan shifter. He thought it was even cooler watching you fight side by side with him, crushing the Earth beneath your feet and always making sure to have his back. He always called you his personal bodyguard.

The entirety of your relationship with Connie, being a titan shifter was never an issue for him. Until today, that is.

Your heart was pounding out of your chest and you rode your horse alongside Armin. Gabi was holding onto you from behind, screaming and crying for Falco.

You could barely process everything that was happening. The world was going to shit after Eren threw it into absolute chaos. Falco now has the power of the Jaw Titan and Connie took it upon himself to kidnap Falco and use him to bring his mom back. You couldn't believe that he would do this. Of course, he missed his mother. Being in a relationship with Connie meant you knew everything about him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. So yes, he missed his mother and it was horrible what had happened to her. But killing a child? Innocent or not, Falco is a child. This wasn't right.

As the three of you approached the old, worn down house in the abandoned village, you saw Connie with Falco.

"Falco! Get away from him." Gabi screams.

You can see Connie jump and look back to see you and Armin riding up to him, fast.

"He's trying to feed you to the Titan!" Gabi yells out again.

You curse to yourself as Gabi blows your cover. You and Armin were going to try and be calm about this. Approach him with caution and talk him out of doing this.

Upon hearing this, Connie wraps an arm around Falco's neck, putting him in a choke hold. His blade was out, threatening that if you came any closer he wouldn't hesitate.

"Connie! Stop it!" Armin yells out, a panicked look in his eyes.

"Stay there! Stay back!" Connie hollers. His eyes shot daggers at you and the other two. You and Armin yank at the reigns of your horse and halt in your tracks.

"Connie, what are you doing?" You ask, trying to stay as calm as you could. The truth was, you were terrified. This was all too much. You and Connie had been through hell and back together, always staying by each other's side no matter what. You two always came back with the support from one another. But if he went through with this...you were afraid that this time he wouldn't be able to come back from the guilt.

"Shut up! I don't wanna hear from you! Don't say anything!" He screams, tightening his grip around Falco.

Armin falls quiet, trying to think of a way out of this that results in everyone alive.

"You wouldn't understand me. You're going to tell me to keep him alive, right?! That's why I should give up on my mom, right?!" Connie's voice was growing increasingly loud and shaky. It broke your heart to see him acting like this. "I'm sure someone as righteous as you wouldn't understand an idiot like me!"

"You're not an idiot, Con." You tried to say. "Just please, let him go and come back to me, okay?"

Come back to me.

That was something that you always said to him when he was having a hard time. If he was ever crying because he was feeling angry, sad, alone, or guilty, you would always be there rubbing his back, patting with his head, and whispering soothing words. "Come back to me."

He grimaced at the familiar expression. "Don't say that to me." He spits.

He then begins moving up the ladder with Falco in hand. No matter how much he squirmed, Falco couldn't escape Connie's grip.

Your face twisted in fear and panic. Armin looked at you with desperation. It's like his eyes were saying, "You have to do something. He'll only listen to you."

And then it hit you.

You deployed your ODM gear and flung yourself onto the beam that was directly overlooking the Titan's mouth. A cold sweat ran down your back. You clench your jaw tightly. You wanted to look at Connie with pleading eyes but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. It would make what you were about to do a lot harder.

You were going to jump.

"Hey! I said stay back!" Connie yelled again. You still refused to look up at him. You could hear his breath shaking even from where you stood. You began to panic more because it was starting to seem like he was catching on to what you were planning. "What are you planning to do?" He screamed. You stayed silent as hot tears streamed down your face. "Say something, Y/N!"

"You told me to shut up, didn't you?!" You yelled back. You forced yourself to look him in the eyes. Your heart dropped as soon as you made eye contact. He knew. "Did you really think I was going to let you do this?" You asked sadly.

Time slows down as you take the step off the beam, dropping yourself down. You closed your eyes to brace for the impact of the Titan's jaws crushing you.

"Y/N, no!" You hear his voice call out for you.

Crunch

Pain engulfs your body, but it's not the type if pain you were expecting. You're eyes are still closed from the impact, but you can feel something warm crushing you chest. You let out a weak cough and open your eyes. You could see the sky, the clouds, and the sun was blinding you. Your mind hazy, you admire the view above you before a familiar face is hovering above you, blocking it.

Connie was hovering over you, his hands pinning your shoulders to the ground. A look of fear and desperation clouded his wide, grey eyes. "Why the fuck did you go and do that, huh?" He screamed, tears freely flowing down his face and onto your cheeks. You tried to answer him but he didn't give you a chance. He shook you again. "Huh?! Answer me!"

You reached up to cup his face with one of your hands, tears threatening to spill from your eyes as well. "I know how much you miss your mom." You choked out. "I just wanted you to be happy."

His expression softened slightly, but he still looked a little angry. "C'mere." He sat the two of you up and pulled you into a tight embrace. "You think I'd be happy without you, idiot?"

"But what about your mom?" You sniffled. You were of course glad he had a change of heart because Falco was still alive and so were you, but you weren't convinced.

"I miss her. So much. But not as much as I would miss you and hate myself for letting you be so stupid." He answered.

"I wasn't being stupid. I was just trying to protect you." You snap.

"Protect me from what exactly?" He asked, still holding your head deep in his chest.

"Protect you from having to carry around the guilt of what you were about to do." You explained, your voice muffled in this chest.

He was silent as he held onto you for dear life. His heart was heavy at the thought of you giving up your own life to protect him from the shame and guilt that would have come with killing Falco. But that was who you were. Selfless to the core. In that moment he became thankful. Thankful that you stopped him, thankful that you were willing to reunite him with his mother, thankful that you loved him enough to stand by him no matter what. He hugged you tightly and buried his face into you neck. His tears wet the thin fabric of the shirt you wore.

"I'm sorry I let you down." He quietly sobbed into you.

You wrapped your arms tighter around him, rubbing his back and his hair with your hands. "Why do you think you let me down?"

"Cause I'm not a good person." His sniffles and small sobs continued as he held you.

"That's not true." You cooed.

"How do you know that?" He asked, finally looking down at you. His eyes were slightly red from the stress of the situation.

"Because I know you have such a big heart, Connie." You smiled, pressing the palm of your hand against his chest. You could feel his ragged heartbeat. "But you have to you use this too." You tapped his forehead, smiling.

"I've got you for that." He said, forcing a teary smile.

You pulled him in and placed a kiss on his forehead, then his cheek, then finally his lips. You held him there for a moment, savoring the kiss.

"So that's what we are?" You giggled after pulling away. "The head and the heart?"

"Seems like a good deal to me." He sighed.

You both stood up, hand in hand. Connie turned towards Armin. The two exchanged a look of understanding. An understanding that Connie knew he was out of line and he was regretful, and Armin accepted that.

"So what now?" Gabi asks.

There was a long silence before you spoke up.

"I mean... we kinda have to like save the world now." You say half joking. Only half though because it was true.

"I couldn't have said it better myself." Connie grinned.

#connie springer #connie springer x reader #connie springer x you #connie springer x y/n #connie x reader #connie x you #connie x y/n #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #aot #aot x y/n #aot x reader #aot fanfiction #armin arlert #mikasa ackerman #levi ackerman #eren jaeger #jean krischtein #sasha braus #hange zöe

[yodawgiherd]

End of an Era

It was fun while it lasted guys :)

>>>Read on AO3<<<

And one night, without any warning, the last piece of the puzzle came. The dream told her everything, ran over the entirety of her life, and when the old and wrinkled soldier Mikasa closed her eyes for the last time, she woke up with unshed tears brimming in the corners.

Next to her, the devil she decapitated slept peacefully, with no marks or scars under his eyes. She didn’t want to wake him yet, as there was another person Mikasa needed to talk to right now, so getting out of the bed carefully she located her phone.

“M-Mikasa?”, a yawn, “It’s four in the morning, why are you calling me?”

“I’m sorry Armin, I have to ask you something.”, Mikasa whispered, keeping her voice low not to wake Eren, “please…”

“Sure, just…” another yawn, this time even longer, “Give me a second so I can collect my brain from the dreamland.”

Mikasa could hear the phone being put down and then the rustling of bedding on the other side as Armin was most likely stretching and fully waking up. She waited patiently until he picked the device up again, speaking in a much clearer voice.

“Ok, I guess I’m functional now. What’s up?”

“In the book you are writing, does the main pairing gets a happy ending? Do they get together?”

“I… Uh… Is that why you woke me?”

“Armin, please. It’s important to me.”

In truth, the blond had no idea why Mikasa was suddenly so interested in the ending of his story. Sure, she read it during development and said that it was good, but there’s a difference between that and calling at four AM to grill him about the ending she didn’t get to see yet because Armin finished it about a week ago. Then again, her voice was completely serious and while Mikasa did like some fun pranks from time to time, this didn’t sound like one at all. So, following her wish, Armin gave her an honest answer.

“No, they don’t. The girl is forced to kill her love interest to save the world from him, but it's sort of bittersweet because their friends get to live a happy life after.”

There was a gasp on the other side as if he confirmed some of Mikasa’s suspicions.

“Why?”

“Well, people like angst, and giving everyone a happy ending is a bit of a cliché, no? I mean…”

“Why her though, wasn’t she the heroine?”

“Yes, but she can move on in time you know, forget about him and whatnot.”

There was a bit of silence on the other side before Mikasa spoke again, this time in a small and sad voice.

“Could you change it? Please, for me.”

“How?”

“Just make her happy…”

Running a hand through his sleep-tussled hair Armin puffed out air, turning the possibilities in his head. It wouldn’t be that hard to make Mikasa’s wish come true. He had a lot of supernatural going on in his book, monsters, and gods, a simple resurrection wouldn’t break the story. Plus it was rare to hear Mikasa beg like this, she was usually the “cool and stoic” type, and it tugged at Armin’s heart.

Hell, why not.

“All right, I’ll do it somehow.”

“You will?!”

“Yeah, but you’ll owe me one.”

There was happy and relieved laughter on the other side.

“Of course, I’ll do anything Ar, thank you so much!”

With a click, the call ended and Mikasa let out a long breath, rubbing the unshed tears from her eyes. It would seem that Armin wasn’t writing a story, more like remembering it, but unlike the one that happened this one would get a different ending.

Mikasa told Eren everything over breakfast, hugging a warm cup of coffee with both hands. He didn’t say anything while she spoke, just listened, his green eyes taking all of her in, both words and gestures. Only when she finished did he let out a long breath, one that felt like he was holding in for an eternity.

“This is a lot to take in.”, he said, “Especially at once.”

“I know…, you don’t have to believe me but…”

“I believe you. Every word.”

“Just like that?”

A firm nod.

“You believe it, and I see no reason why I should not. Past lives and other-universe memories can exist, it's not like the entire human psyche has been mapped.”

He looked away for a second.

“The Eren you described, he is so different than me, yet so terrifyingly similar in some aspects. I can sit here and say that I would never cause the apocalypse but in his place…? I just can’t know for sure.”

“I guess we are lucky that we don’t have to find out.”, Mikasa offered, “This life is so much better than whatever they went through...”

“For sure.”

“And that’s not all.”

“What do you mean?”

“I… I think I married someone… Jean maybe? Had kids with him too.”

“Oh my god.”, Eren threw an arm over his face dramatically, “Out of all people, why him?”

“I… I don’t know if it was him but….”

“Please Miki, I get that I died, and you wanted to move on, but didn’t your past life have any taste ?”

“Hey! Jean is nice.”

He peeked at her from under his arm.

“Nice huh?”

“Yea, nice. You know what, if you die I’m going to marry him here too.”

The fingers that were till now peacefully resting on her hip curved and dug into her flesh, a dangerous flash in the emerald that stared at her.

“You’re just trying to rile me, is that it?”

She fought the grin, not wanting it to reveal the joke.

“Maybe…”

However, Eren’s grip weakened as his face grew distant, the classic “philosophical” look entering his features.

“Would that be fair to him though? Jean is… okay I guess, and you treating him like an afterthought, a second choice? Not nice.”

Mikasa’s smile faltered when she realized that, and Eren was not even done with his speech.

“Then again, if I’ll be dead then I guess I have no agenda in telling you what to do. Plus I think I’d be happier if you moved on and had a family instead of mourning me forever. You are too young for that.”

These words hit way too close to Mikasa’s dream, and she could feel the sadness rising in the chest again. To battle it, she took hold of Eren’s chin and tugged it down until their lips were touching.

“Hey, not more talk about death, okay?”, she ordered, “I had enough of that while sleeping.”

“Yes ma’am.”

When she kissed him, Mikasa’s sadness melted away again, chased away by Eren’s warmth against her. Maybe her other self had to settle for something else, but not her. She was here and she had the love of her life right in her arms, in her bed, and she couldn’t be happier about it.

Eren mulled the facts over for a time, putting them together in his head. It was a nice day outside, and while he did all the math Mikasa simply watched him with a faint smile on her lips. It was almost noon when he came to her with a new question.

“So let me get this straight – I didn’t achieve anything In the end? My island was still nuked and the monsters…”

“Titans.”, Mikasa corrected him.

“Right, titans. Those are still around? Man, I guess I was turned into a clown at the end.”

She didn’t know how to disagree with any of those points.

“And the point of it all was nothing? That no matter how hard you struggle to save something you hold dear it will end up destroyed anyway?”

“It does sound hopeless when you put it like that.”

He snorted.

“Guess I was a certified clown then – oh well, now you see what zero pussy does to a motherfuc…”

“No, no, oh my god.”, Mikasa interrupted him, “Why do you keep making fun of it, I swear you are such a kid and…”

“W-What?”, Eren had trouble speaking because of the laughter, “It’s true! I died for nothing in your dream, I was a joke.”

“No… It wasn’t like that.”

“Take it as you will, but all my nightmares became reality and…”

Eren tapped the table a few times, most likely trying to wrap his head around it all.

“…you married Jean.”

“Well… yea, that was a bit weird.”

“Was it? I mean, the guy had a crush on you.”

She blinked at him.

“It was just a tiny one if there even was one at all.”

“Oh c’mon Miki,”, Eren’s grin was wide, “You couldn’t be that dense.”

“I-I mean…”

Jean? A crush? It reminded her of that night, not that long ago when she found out that most if not all of her female friends would like to have some sort of intimate experiments with her.

“Doesn’t matter.”, she blurted, “He’s a good friend, and I like him a lot, but not romantically!”

“He will be heartbroken…”

“He will?”

“Nah,”, Eren chuckled, “Jean got over it, he and Hitch are happy together, as far as I know.”

“That’s good, a crush is hardly a good base for a real-life relationship.”

“Then I guess we can be happy that you guys married in a dream only.”

“Indeed.”, she reached over the table to gently touch his face, “Here I have you.”

Eren mirrored her gesture, letting his thumb stroke the scar on Mikasa’s cheek.

“And I have you.”

“Forever.”

“Sadly.”

“What was that?”

“Oh nothing baby…”, a devilish grin, “Yes, forever.”

With her dreams done and finished it was time to return to civilization, to leave the cabin life behind. Eren told her that he got this, very courteously, most likely still worried about her mental state.

“Just take it easy,”, he said, kissing the top of her head, “I’ll pack.”

He did as he said, fighting with the baggage to the best of his ability. Mikasa was left to wander around aimlessly, and for whatever reason her steps took her to the big tree sitting there, overlooking a vast plain of grass. Taking a deep breath of the fresh air she leaned on the tree, but then her eyes caught sight of something that almost made her jump out of her skin.

There was a ghost sitting there, a ghost of her, dressed in a simple skirt and shirt, the scarf still around her neck. The apparition was about the same age Mikasa was, maybe a bit younger, but they looked almost the same. Her hair wasn’t short, it was long and pulled into a ponytail and there was no red highlight decorating it. The ghost looked up, her eyes meeting Mikasa’s, and a faint smile crossed her lips.

It was her perfect copy, down to the scar on the cheek - albeit the ghost’s was even more faded than hers, long years washing over it. She must have gotten her cut as a teenager. And there was also something about the eyes – it would be a lie to say that Mikasa had an easy life, but what she saw in the ghost’s eyes was something different altogether. The sitting girl saw hell and more, and it showed in her face.

“You are me.”, Mikasa finally pushed out.

The ghost looked at her curiously, tilting her head to the side.

“You… you can’t speak, can you?”

The ghost shook her head.

“I wonder why….”

The sitting girl shrugged, not understanding this any more than Mikasa did. She was just about to question her further when something else caught her attention. The ghost wasn’t sitting there on her own, there was something next to her – a tombstone with a very familiar name written on it.

Eren Yeager

Mikasa already had a suspicion, but this confirmed it – the sitting girl was the other Mikasa, the one she had dreams about, her past life. Following her eyes the ghost saw what she was looking at, her smile replaced by a look of deep longing. Gently, she caressed the stone, her eyes shining with tears.

“So the dreams were right, huh? You had to kill him.”

The ghost nodded solemnly.

“You saved the world, everyone, but you had to give the love of your life up.”

The apparition didn’t react, eyes trained at the cold tombstone.

“They say that if you love something, you should let it go.”, she told the ghost, “But I can’t do that….”

Looking over her shoulder at the man she loved so much, Mikasa let the words spill freely.

“I guess I’m selfish but I don’t want to lose this love we have, no matter what kind of symbolism it is. I want to wake up next to him every morning and spend ten minutes getting out of his hands because he holds me so tightly when we sleep. I want to see him yawn and wish him good morning and share a cup of coffee. I want him to be there for me when I come back so we can talk about our days and cuddle on the couch together…”

Her hands intertwined on the abdomen, gently stroking the fabric of her shirt.

“I want to have children with him, family, kids that will combine my and his looks and attitude. Is that selfish? Is that too much to ask? Is that…”

Lost in her speech Mikasa stumbled over the words and fell silent, letting out a short laugh after.

“I’m selfish and I don’t care. I’m never letting go simply because I don’t want to and damn everyone who disagrees with me. I deserve this, I deserve to be loved.”

As soon as those words left Mikasa’s lips she realized how insensitive those were towards her other self, the poor girl who, for all her bravery, for the act of saving the world itself – got nothing.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”, she apologized to the sitting copy of herself, “I know that you never got to experience any of that with him.”

The ghost’s face fell and she buried her face to the scarf, eyes moving towards the headstone next to her. Seeing the longing written in her features, Mikasa couldn’t help but wonder.

“Did you… did you learn to let him go? Did you come to terms with his death?”

The pain in the girl’s eyes was all the answer Mikasa needed. It resonated within her, the suffering because she could imagine how it would feel. Maybe it was because she experienced it in her past life, maybe it was because of all these strange visions but she could do it and the pain and emptiness were terrible.

“This is not fair,”, she blurted, “You did everything you could, you saved the world and this was your reward? You’ve sacrificed… everything… and….”

She was crying now, Mikasa realized, her tears matching the ghost’s. Falling to her knees next to the girl she tried embracing her only to realize that she can’t touch a figment of her imagination.

“I’m so sorry for how the universe treated you, you deserved more, so, so much more….

More flashes- this time of a child, a faceless husband, grandkids too.

“This, all that… Did it make you happy?”

The ghost girl gave her a small enigmatic smile, and Mikasa realized one thing. It wasn’t for her to know – maybe she was happy with the other family, maybe she wasn’t, that would remain an enigma.

“But still, you kept visiting his grave,”, Mikasa’s eyes moved over to the headstone and the flowers there, “You never let his memory fade.”

A nod from the other girl.

“Still, it wasn’t fair to you. You could have been, no, should have been so much more…”, this time the raven’s eyes moved to where her Eren was, “You deserved to have a happy future with him too.”

“Yet you didn’t, and I did – you got the pain and I have the rewards you fought for. I swear, I will not let it go to waste.”

Standing up, she offered her hand to the ghost.

“Please, come with me, experience all that you bled for, struggled for so much. Let me show you how the love you wanted feels in full bloom.”

But the girl didn’t move, simply looking at her. And that was when Mikasa realized….

“… you don’t have to come with me because you are already here. You are me, I am you, we are the same person.”

It was strange, realizing that this was her- this old, tired soldier, a woman broken by a war Mikasa couldn’t even comprehend. A tragic hero who sacrificed her greatest love for the greater good, being left with nothing but a memory. A girl who was thrust into a cruel world and treated unfairly, no matter how hard she tried to change it, to save those she held dear. Tears in the corners of her eyes, Mikasa clenched her fists.

Not anymore.

Now there was no war, no titans, no apocalypse over their heads. Eren wouldn’t go to commit a global genocide to save his country, only to have it destroyed anyway. She wouldn’t marry another man and have children with him, bring her family to his grave, and plant flowers with pain in her heart. No.

Mikasa wasn’t a soldier anymore – she was an MMA fighter, a professional athlete, a model. Her life wasn’t filled with a constant struggle for survival. It was dreamy- filled with everything she could wish for, whatever it was spending her time with friends, goofing around with Eren, or training her pole dancing. She didn’t care for horses or sharpen her blades.

Eren wasn’t a hopeless maniac, driven to war by the sheer necessity of survival – he was a doctor, a surgeon, helping people in need not killing them.

Most importantly they were together – an engaged couple that loved each other so much that they couldn’t put it into words correctly. No tragedy would befall them.

Keeping her hand outstretched, Mikasa talked to the ghost again.

“We are one, but I am the lucky part of us, of me. I am love, I am the nights and lazy mornings spent in bed, I am all the kisses and hugs. You are my sadness, my sacrifice, my longing and pain, my unfulfilled and tragic fate.”

She stretched her fingers closer to the girl.

“Please, take my hand and experience it all with me, learn that there is beauty in this cruel world.”

Not hesitant anymore, the ghost held her hand towards Mikasa.

When their fingers made contact a chill ran down her spine and she gasped, blinking several times. The girl was gone, so was the grave, only the tree remained and gently swayed in the wind. And in her heart, in her soul, Mikasa felt different – different yet same because now she knew everything and the pain in her heart resonated.

It would always be a part of her, or rather it always was, but Mikasa wasn’t feeling down because of it. Now she knew that she had to feel everything, every touch and happy emotion that she experienced with him because it was what her past died for. If anything the full realization of her suffering made Mikasa appreciate it even more – she was living this life not only now but for the past too.

He was her Eren, she was his Mikasa, and in this world, nothing would tear them apart. And the tears the began to appear in her eyes did nothing to deny that fact.

“Miki? Why are you crying, what’s wrong?”

Refusing to answer Mikasa crossed the distance and hugged him, burying her face into Eren’s chest. Understanding that she didn’t want words now he stroked her back patiently, waiting for her to come back to him.

“Eren, you won’t ever leave me, will you?”

“Never.”

“I mean, I couldn’t do it even if wanted to.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I love you anymore, it’s more like fascination, adoration maybe.”

“…Eren…”

“Hell, I’d do anything to stay with you, you want me to bark for you? Cause I will..”

Despite her sad mood, Mikasa felt the smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Stop, come on.”

Ignoring that, he pressed his face into her hair, a quiet bark leaving his lips.

“Woof.”, he nuzzled her gently, “There, I did it.”

She giggled at that and Eren smirked, glad that he made her smile because that was his mission in life – making the beautiful angel he was, for some reason blessed by, happy.

It made her reflect on the whole story, now that she had it whole. Eren kept silent while Mikasa was deep in thought, his fingers gently stroking her hipbone in small soothing circles. In her mind, she recalled as much as she could, brought it together and….

Mikasa took a shuddering breath.

“It makes no god damn sense.”

“What doesn’t?”

“The whole story, It… it doesn’t add up at all. You dying for nothing, me moving on so quickly I… The whole world….”

She was pouting now, that adorable expression that made Eren want to kiss it right off of her face, but he held himself back. Mikasa was talking.

“It had such a nice build-up, but in the end, it collapsed completely. I don’t understand why….”

“Well, that is the thing with dreams.”, he mumbled next to her, “They often don’t make much sense once we wake up.”

“But still..”

“Mikiiiiiiiiii…”, unable to resist her cuteness anymore, he pressed a string of soft kisses all over her face, turning that pout into a breathless giggle, “Stop overthinking dreams so much.”

Grabbing her hand he intertwined their fingers, raising it so the sun slid over their skin. It highlighted the contrast between them, how his tanned shade complimented her pale one, just as perfectly as they completed one another in life.

“This. This is important.”, he said, “This is real. You may be a broken titan slayer in your dreams, but here you are… well, still a titan slayer but one that is happy… I think.”

His voice got even deeper when he directed his question right at her.

“Are you happy with me?”

Mikasa was nodding her head before she even realized what was happening.

“Yes. Gods yes, I couldn’t be happier.”

“See?”, the flash of white teeth revealed his grin, “Then focus on that. Here, in this world, I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll stay with you as long as you’ll have me.”

“That might be a very long time Yeager, are you sure that you want to do that to yourself?”

“As if I had a choice.”, his fingers danced over her hip, “You bound me to yourself with black magic, remember?”

“Good to see that you remember that. My Dark Knight.”

The kiss Eren gave her was interlaced with a smile, and it was one of the sweetest Mikasa ever got in her life. He was right, after all, her dreams, past self, it was a tragedy that befell her, but it was so jumbled at the end that she had a hard time taking it seriously. The “ending” of her past didn’t make sense, no matter how much she tried to see the point of it. It all looked like such a tragedy, but in the end…. was it maybe a comedy? A twisted image where all the sacrifice and pain they went through amounted to nothing? Where several characters were made to be worthless, and their struggle amounted to nothing? A parody of a terrible conflict that couldn’t be solved by anything else by an annihilation?

But... why dwell on it?

She had this- this life, this Eren, and this happiness that they built together, and she loved every second of it.

And there was nothing else that the past could show her anymore.

“Let’s get out of here.”

“You sure? Didn’t forget anything?”

Mikasa looked at the tree where the conversation with the ghost took place, smiling. Tightening her hold on Eren’s hand, she felt more content than ever before, finally having an explanation and ending for her nightmares. It all made sense, and she would live her life to the fullest with the love of her life – not only for herself but for the other Mikasa too. She deserved to experience it, every second of it. After all, they were one and the same.

“Yes. I have all I need right here with me.”

#eremika #fanfic #:)

[krispydefendorpolice]

The Demon’s Bride (4)

Call out to @vitaliciouscreations for their “Drop of Paradise” story. I’m using the same name Tiān but they came up with it (to best of my knowledge). Another fun read. Anyone interested in me putting up a random maribat recomendation in this part?

On to the story

Beginning Previous Next Masterpost

_________________

Chapter 4

After dropping Mari in front of the hotel she was staying at, where the teacher definitely had not noticed she was missing he fumed, Damian returned to the Bat cave. His father, all three of his brothers, his sister, Alfred and the rest of the extended Bat Clan were waiting.

“You never turned your comm back on,” Bruce commented.

“I needed to speak with Mari before talking to you,” Damian said, passing his father and pulling up files on the Bat computer.

“We had noticed. It would have been nice to know you were alright after she took down Jason the way she did.”

“Hence the reason I left my tracker on instead of disabling it. You knew where I was.”

“Who is this mystery girl the boys are talking about?” Barbara, aka Oracle, asked.

Damian ignored the question while he filtered through the files of the Wayne conference attendees for the school group staying at Mari’s hotel and down to the students on the trip. He pulled up the school picture of Mari and the information they had on her.

“She is a friend from my childhood,” he finally said looking at the information. He saw that her name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng, her parents on file were listed as Tom Dupain and Sabine Cheng. So they hadn’t changed it, he thought, disappointed in himself because he never looked.

Damian turned when no one said anything after his declaration. Leaning against the console he waited for their responses.

“Bull shit Demon Spawn. You’ve never mentioned friends other than Jon and the Titans before,” Jason said, “and even then it’s because they are not your friends.”

“I assure you she is,” Damian said.

“Then why is this the first time any of us have ever heard about her?” Dick asked.

“None of you have ever shown a particular interest in my childhood with the League of Assassins before now, so why would I have talked about her to you?” Damian answered with a question of his own.

“Because you bit off our heads every time we asked anything,” Tim argued.

Damian narrowed his eyes, “The last time anyone asked me anything about the League I was 11 years old, had just moved in with a bunch of strangers, and had witnessed my family and my whole life destroyed by a madman. Of course I fucking yelled at you. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t cry, yell or rage about the unfairness of watching my family, my family,” he emphasized, “die because I was with strangers and emotions make you vulnerable and I could not afford any more vulnerabilities with the unknown situation I was in.”

The entire clan was silent during his tirade, and a bit ashamed at what he was revealing to them years afterwards.

“I’m sorry Damian. We should have realized that and asked you how you were handling the changes at the time,” Bruce was the first to apologize.

“So you weren’t just rabid from Mom’s Tender Loving Care?” Jason asked.

“Master Jason,” Alfred chided while the rest of the clan just gave Jason a Really? look.

“In the 10 years I lived with her I probably spent less than two in her actual company,” Damian said. “I don’t think I would have responded well at the time even if you had realized,” he acknowledged Bruce’s apology.

“Can you tell us about her?” Bruce asked.

“I can but there’s a lot to talk about to really understand everything. I’m meeting her tomorrow for her free day, we can come here for dinner. I can give you some of that background information now and she can answer any of the questions about herself that I can’t answer.”

“Alright. So tell us what we need to know.”

“Might I suggest we move this discussion out of the cave and to the parlor where we might be more comfortable while we talk,” Alfred interrupted.

“That sounds like a good idea Alfred,” Dick said.

**************************

They did as Alfred suggested and moved to the sitting room so they could sit comfortably while talking about Damian’s past. They were all aware that before he came to them at the age of 10 he had lived with his mother and grandfather and with the League of Assassins. He had been volatile and reckless even while he was taking up the mantle of Robin and began following the others into the vigilante lifestyle.

But apparently there was more to his actions as a kid than just being a snobbish brat raised to believe he was better than everyone else.

Damian sipped at his cup of Black tea while settling his mind around what he was going to discuss. He had spent the last 7 years trying not to think of the other half of his biological family and believing the rest were dead so that he hadn’t had any other reason to reflect on his youth in the League. But that had obviously been a mistake. If Mari survived did anyone else? Can I get my family back? He wondered to himself while the rest of the clan settled down with their drinks of choice.

Finally everyone was settled. Bruce was the one to set the ball rolling.

“So what should we know?”

“Before I start about what I know,” Damian began turning to Jason, “I need to know more about what you know of the League, Todd.”

Jason raised an eyebrow and looked at him stonily. If Damian was quiet about the League as a kid (lies, he really wasn’t because he was an Al Ghul dammit) then Todd was a monk who had taken a vow of silence (slightly less a lie, he didn’t talk about it but he did rant about what a bitch Talia was). None of the Bats knew much about his time with the League other than he met Talia before returning to Gotham to seek vengeance on the Joker.

“Like what, Demon Spawn?” Jason asked.

“Well, first, did you have a designation?”

“A what?”

“That’s a no then. Consider yourself lucky, or not, since you were one of mother’s various pet projects then.”

“Damian,” Dick warned as Damian still had a tendency to be very blunt, to the point of being abrasive, when talking about other’s trauma’s.

Damian frowned before nodding in acknowledgement of the warning and in apology for his tone.

“I suppose the first thing you should know is that the League of Assassins is only about two hundred years old, while Tiān the city from which it was established is thousand of years old. Grandfather found it years ago and started to recruit certain prized and influential citizens and families into following him. Eventually the majority of the city were members of his cult and doing his bidding. We can get more into why the League as its own city is important tomorrow.

“Now, since the League is a cult and it was born out of an independent city how has it maintained it’s membership for so long? And I assure you it wasn’t because grandfather shared the secret of the Lazarus Pits with anyone” he asked.

“They recruited new members,” Dick answered with a shrug.

Damian gave him his own Really? look. “Recruits only account for about 25% of the new trainees and they are usually older teens and young adults. The people that are disenfranchised from the society outside of the League. Individuals with knowledge of the world outside shaped by influences from outside and not by Ras Al Ghul,” Damian said. “I was one of 79 children born in my year group. I was not raised by Talia no matter how she spins it. Despite having a personal bodyguard, private tutors and a nursemaid because I was an Al Ghul heir, I was raised with the other children my age in the al’akadimia*.”

“Talia didn’t raise you?” Barbara asked.

“She oversaw my training, instruction and education which seems to be her impression of parenting, but no, she was not involved in the day to day of my life growing up. I got more of that with Father in the first few months than I did from her in the entirety of my time with her,” Damian answered.

The Bats were silent as they digested this new piece of information from their youngest.

“In the cave you mentioned losing your family. It sounded like it happened in Slade’s attack. If not Talia, who were you thinking of? The girl?” Tim asked.

*academy- Arabic via Google translate

_________________

So, this chapter f*cked with my head. I was just writing and playing with the story and had to come up with a reason for Damian being such a little shit as a kid. And I threw in the line about him losing his family and moving in with strangers when I had an oh shit moment of enlightenment.

In the Son of Batman, Damian witnessed his grandfathers death. His mother brought him to strangers and essentially dropped him on their doorstep. Then we get into the fact that most likely he was essentially abused growing up (how else do you get a kid that wont show emotions) but they were still his family and yeah...

I try throwing in a flippant reason but really it kinda sounds like a canon reason too.

I had never thought about why canon Damian was the way he was especially in that first movie and now my head hurts. I’m curious if anyone else has ever given that a thought or if you’re just now having that oh shit reaction?

Taglist: I’m so happy so many are enjoying it. I’m trying to get everyone but if I miss you I’m sorry but it’s not intentional. Also, I appreciate the comments but unless you ask I won’t tag you so if you’ve commented and not been tagged it’s cuz you didn’t ask or because I overlooked it trying to find everyone who’s asking to be tagged. And I’m going to ask that you message me since I’m having trouble finding all the asks in the comments. Thank you.

And thank you all!

@ozmav @multifandomscribette @mochinek0 @inevitableenquere @zebrabaker @poshplumcot @tog84 @luciferge @sonif50 @ravennightingaleandavatempus @northernbluetongue @actual-human-disaster @clumsy-owl-4178 @aarushi-03 @bluerosette23 @g-arya @moonyloonyx @fertileleaf @shreky-boi @thanks-captain-obvious @panda3506 @hinata3487 @thequestionablyhuman @dontgiveaflyinflip @dast218 @chocolatecatstheron @asianfrustration13 @slytherinsheashire @weird-pale-blonde-person @yin-390 @mycupisbroken @vixen-uchiha @kuroko26 @autisticlinx @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @mariae2900 @zalladane @hypnosharkrebeldreamer @tbehartoo @novicevoice @violatiger8 @thebookish3lf @fandomkitty8 @redscarlet95 @gingersnapnoir @chewbaccaatemythoughts

#daminette #maribat #marinette x damian #Betrothed AU #The Demon’s Bride #DLDR #Dead Dove Do Not Eat

[ultrakeystotheheartblog]

Not So Alone (Part 2) (Teen Titans x Reader)

Part 2 of 2

Request: Requested by multiple people.

“Uhm, your teen titans imagine was?? so great?? I would totally love a sequel omg (only if u want obv)”

“Omg please I just read the fic and want a sequel too so badddd you don’t have to if you don’t want to but I’d be super hype to see it and read and scream because the first parts great” - @laneygthememequeen

A/N: I’m back! I’m not dead! And I am definitely going to  write an update some time soon to explain everything that’s happened, but for right now I’m just gonna go ahead and say thank you again for all the positive comments and support that the first part received. I wasn’t expecting so many people to enjoy it, so I was over the moon at the response. With that said, I hope you all enjoy this part too ♥♥♥ 

(PS: This was the imagine that got the most votes, so the final part for my Jason Todd fic will be coming next! And, uh, It’s already turning out like a novel guys, prepare yourselves).

Warning: Swearing. Little bit of angst, but mostly a whole lot of fluff.

*********************************************************************************

You can’t help but feel that something is not quite right today.

Things are quiet.

Too quiet.

There’s no bouncing music or flashing video games, no arguing, no laughing, no daily echoes of training or disastrous calamities unfolding in the kitchen. No doting, friendly teammates to regale you with their presence (as what’s been the norm for the past few weeks while you’ve begrudgingly, slowly, began to heal from your injuries). No, the Tower is practically, for lack of a better or less ironic term, dead. And has been for most of the day—a husk of boredom and loneliness and one too many pieces of cold, leftover pizza. 

Not to mention that looming cloud that’s followed over your head, a suspicious kind of quiet that’s been pressing in all around you like a swarm of invisible hands, seeping into the very foundation of the room. It’s been keeping you teetering on the edge of a pinpoint for literal hours—your fight or flight response practically grinding its teeth in preparation for an inevitable...something. And all the while you sink further into the entertainment room’s monstrous, curved couch and try to focus on ‘relaxing’.

Ha.

You’d be more relaxed if you knew where everyone disappeared to.

But alas, you do not—no matter how much the urge to snoop is (and you so want to snoop), because that’s not what friends do. At least, you think it’s not. You have to admit, it’s been a long time since you’ve considered anyone a friend, but you’re trying. Trying to let go of the past. Trying to be vulnerable. To be good. To be open. And you very much find yourself liking all the ensuing, chaotic changes in your life recently. But you’re rusty and unsure, and always, always, waiting for some other shoe to drop.

You don’t want it to.

You really don’t want it to.

But sometimes you wonder if it would give you some sort of relief from all the waiting—if that metaphorical shoe just got it over with already and put its ugly, metaphorical foot down. So you could breathe without all this pinchy, backwards kind of guilt you’ve been storing up inside for years, waiting to finally punch out into the world like a nest of angry wasps. Like you should feel bad for wanting to be a part of something....something more. 

You’ve always hated just waiting for something to happen. But here you are now; alone, completely over-thinking the meaning of life, and left to stew in a concoction of sulky feelings that leaves you nauseous in a way you’ve worked so hard to forget.

So.

With your sore legs propped up onto the coffee table for comfort, you just continue to glare at the blank TV screen and watch your faded reflection in the shine of the glass, biting bitterly into the last of the pizza crust from the plate balanced in your lap.

ZuZu (as declared by Star the morning you’d first woken up—words tripping in a rush of excitement and a stream of breathless chatter about some sort of inspiration from an earth movie—while she gently sits the little creature into your lap with a ceremonious flourish of her arms) flops onto their belly to find a more comfortable position beside you. 

Their front legs tuck underneath their bulk, long, spiked tail curling around their body in looping circles, before they come to rest their head on your hip, staring intensely at the leftover crust between your fingers.

They’re about the size of a small dog, heavy and wide, with the hybrid body structure of some sort of lizard and a...well, a bear. Their face is coated in silky auburn fur, snout ridged and twitchy, large heavy-lidded, expressive pink eyes set deep in their sockets. The majority of their torso and back legs are scaled and shiny, while three stripes of that autumn colored fur zigzag down their back, their front legs thick and capped with massive fuzzy paws and hooked dark claws. But the most distinctive features are the large, pleated creases of skin which usually lay folded back against their head and neck. 

A frill, like you remember seeing once, adorning a lizard from some travelling petting zoo. It’s supported by long spines of cartilage connected to each side of their jaw bone, and when spread to encircle the entirety of their head, is lined in pink and filled with bright orange scales.

Beast Boy called it a ‘deimatic display’ that first day, a behavior or reaction of patterns and colors used like a defensive bluff—akin to beady eyes on the back of a moth’s wings or selective changes in the body pattern of a cuttlefish—manipulated to startle, display a warning, or distract predators. But it seems ZuZu is able to use it a bit differently—a slight alien twist to the reaction, which allows them to communicate solely through a language formed by varying flashes and multitudes of color. 

You’ve all been scrambling to figure out the meanings behind each display lately, trading yes or no questions with the creature at any given point throughout the day, before documenting any noticeable details in the Tower’s staggering, inexhaustible database. 

Red, you’ve found quickly, suggests that they’re annoyed, or angry, or generally, exceedingly, unhappy about something. Yellow, on the other hand, simply implies content in the most peaceful sense. And pink? That’s become their version of taunting—something smug and annoyingly self-assured, which seems to be their more….colourful version of resting bitch face.  

You grunt at the heavy weight of ZuZu’s head as it presses more firmly against bruised muscles and skin, hidden away beneath the cozy, cotton sweatpants you’d wrestled from the bottom of your closet. It doesn’t keep you from slipping deeper though, into the clouded memories shrouding that first dreamlike morning after finally waking.

Robin—grinning, more relaxed then you’d ever seen him, and already lying back in his spot beside you on the bed—had leaned over when Star finally took a moment to find her breath, voice dipping low as he casually filled in the most obvious, glaring blanks in her story. He explained how they’d come upon ZuZu while rushing you back to the tower for medical attention—left behind by their master, defensive and shaking, and hidden away beneath the burning hot rubble from unlucky buildings crushed during the Jump City attack.

You can vaguely recall those creatures and their part in the invasion, as you hold the curious, unwavering stare of your new housemate. You pinpoint a fuzzy recollection of hundreds of similar alien hybrids, large percents of them being used as cannon fodder against the city’s responding defense—some sort of attack dogs or bloodhounds originally breed for what seemed to be an unparalleled sense of incoming danger. And a lethal aptitude for sniffing out and marking targets, even in the most extreme of circumstances. All to make the invading attack’s that much more…. precise. 

Equally as shaken and heartbroken, both Starfire and Beast Boy insisted on giving little ZuZu a home, one without the need for cold masters and needless sacrifices.

Robin admitted that it took some convincing to get him to agree, but that he caved to them rather quickly, like the truly soft-hearted dork you know he is on the inside. The one, you’ve been noticing, that is no longer carefully tempered behind masks both metaphorical and literal (like those you’d learned to cultivate for yourself, to ensure your own survival among the flocks of good and evil in this world)—all veils of enigmatic charm and cool leadership, strategy and logic.

(While for just as long, you had mused, you refined your wall of sarcasm and teasing, and strained, plastic smiles. Even as fate saw it fit to laugh and thrust you into the role of cosmic punching bag in both a figurative and literal sense).

Because Robin is never really one to deny a safe haven to someone, especially an orphan, in need.

And it’s not too hard to understand why.

It’s one quality you’ve only caught glimpses of, before the attempted invasion and one too many near-death experiences changed everything.

Your once positive opinion on lizards.

Your practical, humanly limitations regarding the ability to eat your weight in cold, cheese pizza.

Your mostly cynical take on all the possible wonders of this life.

Your team and their conduct—their outreach of friendship, their measure of trust and willing openness towards you.

Your place among them.  Your.... the need for the permanence of those masks.

All while you’ve been learning to come to terms with this warm, slowly blossoming….strange feeling of finally belonging.

ZuZu shifts to find a different angle, and then they’re sliding their head further into your lap, situating themselves just underneath your hovering hand. Your sullen gaze darts down to examine them again in the cresting evening sunlight, their lithe body bathed in an orange light that softens the harsh lines and edges of bluish-green scales, until they’re all but glittering like some magnificent, stain-glass fish below rippling water. 

Shit, they’re so wonderfully unique, maybe too much so, for a world that tears down all that’s different in the name of fear (and this you know all too well). They’re intelligent and hardheaded, and kind of an absolute dick if you’re being honest. But you can’t help but feel close to the little creature, and hope, however possibly (awfully) misguided, that it’s at least somewhat mutual. After all, for all their rough edges and guarded, worldly acceptance, they were learning to fit in here—just like you.

The flash of a long, forked tongue startles you from your thoughts, and you catch sight of it in your peripheral, snapping out towards the piece of half-eaten crust in your hand before you can even process where it’s suddenly emerged from. You jerk away clumsily on reflex, letting the crust plummet back to the plate in your lap as you lean to the side, trying to avoid the persistent little alien. You hoist the plate up and out of their reach at a safer distance—though not without a twinge of pain that bursts like fireworks in your shoulders. 

You glare down at them in admonishment.

Well then.

Earlier sentiment revoked, actually.

ZuZu narrows their intensely bright eyes right back at you, their frill rising from their neck like the hackles of an angry dog. The trim pleats of skin folded there flutter in anticipation before finally sweeping open with the rippling, fluid grace of a hand-held folding fan. The pretty scales lining the exposed frill change colour almost instantly when they hit the open air, flaring a deep red when you stick your tongue out at ZuZu in an act of childish defiance. 

Yeah, someone’s no longer a happy camper now, are they? Well, join the club, pal.

You can’t always get what you want. Because no matter what you do, life just likes to screw you in the—

It takes a total of three, distracted seconds.

The offending tongue snaps out at an impossible length to hit the surface of the plate. It’s like some cartoon frog catching a fly that’s far enough out of reach to be considered natural, the appendage wrapping around one end of the half-bitten crust, before proudly reeling it back down into a waiting mouth. Their jaw snaps shut again with an audible click of teeth, and they swallow their prize whole and much too slowly, flashing you a fanged smile that gives you the creeps.

Or you do, you find yourself bitterly amending in the wake of defeat, especially when you’re a terrifying space gremlin with freakish mouth biology. Why are you even awake again today?

You sag into the couch cushions with an unexpected wave of soul-weary tiredness, a full body and mind exhaustion creeping upon the fringes of your being, though you’d been fighting it off rather successfully for most of the month. 

You lower the empty plate to sit on the surface of the coffee table—while grumbling under your breath about the reigning injustice of such snack-stealing gremlins in your midst—and lean even more precariously forward. Much farther than you normally would consider doing without others around, but you persist in you reach, getting a good grip on the propped up crutch you’ve left leaning against the table. 

You struggle to your feet then, deciding to leave the main living room to find something more productive to do (rather than wallowing and getting your food pilfered from beneath your slowly healing, broken nose). ZuZu watches you silently from their cozy napping spot, gaze tracking you as you begin to hobble around the couch on your way from the room. You toss a half-hearted, parting wave to Starfire’s first adopted friend—a chunky, gooey, mutant moth larvae dubbed little Silkie, snoring away beneath an open side table near the couch.

It’s good going, until something unexpected flutters down from the ceiling with the grace of falling snow—just as you’re about to cross the threshold into the hallway. Your gaze follows the swirling path of the shiny, red and black length of foil as it lands near your feet. A candy wrapper.

Huh.

Strange.

You pause in your journey and peer down at it for a moment, bewildered enough to take a full step back before finally looking up to retrace its fallen path.

And okay, so in hind sight, you kind of wish you hadn’t left the couch.

A single, suspiciously green, bat drops like a stone from the ceiling once it’s seen, swooping down over your head with a panicked flutter of leathery wings. You shout and unashamedly curse like a drunken sailor, ducking in surprise to further avoid the little needle talons that brush across the top of your head. Beast Boy turns human once he clears your form and hits the floor, once again completely, frustratingly, naked when he hops up to his feet. 

He tries to quickly console you, only to jump back in order to dodge the fear-driven swing of your crutch.

“Hey! It’s just me!!” He exclaims, hands held out towards you. You sling your cast over your eyes and wonder just how bad it would be if you bleached them clean of the searing, full-frontal image that lingers just behind them.

“WEAR PANTS.” You demand in alarm.

“They’re not comfortable!” He complains. Eyes still tightly shut, you shake your head and gesture wildly at him, throwing out your plaster covered arm to wave it around in loose, frantic circles. “PANTS!” You insist in a higher voice. “Fine!”

He mutters something else, low and displeased under his breath, and then goes to dig out a familiar non-descript bag you’re used to finding at random—usually full of extra clothes and stashed around the tower, or other frequent hangout places around the city—hidden away within the grassy, potted plant next to you both. You choose to ignore the obvious sass he’s exuding in protest, cracking open an eye just a bit to make sure he’s following through. 

He smoothly tugs his purple and black uniform free from the depths of the shiny leaves, wrangling on the bottom half with a pout as quickly as he can, and before you know it, he’s already shrugging the fabric up over his narrow shoulders.

(Though to your satisfaction he’s careful of the stitches still lining his spine). You sigh in relief, “Just—oh my god, what were even you doing up there in the first place?!”

Beast Boy works his mouth in silence as though he can’t find the right words to explain at the moment, bottom canines glinting as he squints up through the fluorescent lights and tosses the empty bag to rest beside the plant. He seems to be thinking hard about his answer (you hope), his gaze dropping to you after a few seconds of awkward, disbelieving silence. He shrugs, apparently deciding it’s appropriate to simply respond with a pair of finger-guns and a strained grin. “....hanging around?”

…..

You think you’re starting to miss those dragon-tailed, sumo alien’s from space-hell.

Your shoulders slump as the pent up energy from your frustration and sudden scare seeps from your body all at once. You groan, lifting your crutch up to point at him, the tip barely brushing against his chest. “You’re dead to me.” You proclaim lightly. Beast Boy rolls his eyes, and after securing the clasp on the back of his suit with a small chuckle, reaches out to gently lower the makeshift weapon. “Oh, come on—”

You don’t wait for him to finish, moving to hobble around him and retreat to your room. You shouldn’t have gotten up today. Nope. Call it a bad feeling. Something is going on around here and you are getting the hell out while you can. He slides into your path immediately, cutting of your escape with a smooth glide across the hardwood flooring. You narrow your eyes, shuffling to move around him again. He meets you like before, lunging closer still with each attempt to counteract your movements. You huff and stare him down, feeling like a Spanish bull in the ring, ready to charge the moment you see an opening. “BB, move.” You warn lowly.  

He throws out his arms to either side of him, blocking your way when you take a threatening step forward. “Can’t do that.” He chirps, puffing out his chest to seem more confident in his current position, while beginning to look as though he’s starting to regret his life’s choices, what with the way you’re gaze is cutting into his very soul. (Positively icy. You’d practiced that, rest in peace).

But he doesn’t move.

You frown and glare at him suspiciously, forcing your heavy limbs to cooperate with you for a moment. You take a step to the right, and as expected Beast Boy mirrors your movement, but your body isn’t as fast as you remember it. And he knows it. You careen to the left to try and complete your fake-out, but Beast Boy anticipates the slow sway of your body, following the uneven momentum like a puppet on strings to block your way yet again.

 He reaches out to steady you when you wobble, legs shaking with the sudden quick strain on your knees, and you wince at the flair of pain. Crappy broken body. You shake him off angrily, more upset at yourself then at him, and strike your crutch against the floor with a wave of strength (propelled simply by the heated frustration you feel festering in your chest like icky, wriggling worms). “Beast Bo—Gar, I’m serious.” You hiss in annoyance, ignoring the ricocheting twinge of pain that shoots up into your shoulder at the action.

“Believe it or not, so am I!” He defends, hands flying to his hips.

“Debatable.” You snap back.

“Rude.”

“Twenty bucks on (Y/N).” A new, deeper voice declares with obvious amusement. You spin to face the living room again, Beast Boy peeking around you to get a better view. Cyborg and Starfire are standing before you, having appeared out of thin air and quiet as can be, the latter of the duo looking as though she could just burst with excitement. More than usual. Cyborg’s gaze cuts to you when he notices the way you’re staring at her in confusion, putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently to sooth the absurd tremble of her body. 

Okay. Double suspicious. 

They’re dressed in casual clothes; Starfire in high-waisted, purple shorts and a stylish pink sweater that hangs off her shoulders, her wild red hair tied back into a ponytail and her feet bare, smile wide. Cyborg is donned in sweatpants and an old blue and yellow football jersey you think might have seen better days once, newly buffered limbs gleaming under the lights. Beast Boy pursues his lips and squints up at his friend when he catches sight of the teasing smirk Cyborg trains on him.  

“Thanks, dude.” He responds as sarcastically as he can. Starfire spins to face Cyborg with glee, hands clasped in front of her.

“Friend Victor, I too wish to attribute money to the outcome of this argument.” She reveals enthusiastically, leaving you to trade an exhausted look with Beast Boy at the spiraling situation. Cyborg’s grin grows larger, and he winks at you both before giving Starfire his undivided attention.

“Okay.” He relents, staring down at her curiously. “Bettin’ on (Y/N) then?”

Starfire pauses, nose crinkling as she considers the question. “Can I not take part of the betting for both?”

“No, Star, it doesn’t really—” Cyborg begins, sighing with reluctance when she only continues to look up at him expectantly. “You know what? Sure.” He amends with a shrug, rubbing at the back of his head. Starfire claps her hands excitedly and laughs, her feet lifting from the floor in her in a rush of elation.

“Glorious!” She exclaims. You almost miss it when Cyborg turns away from her, but you’re able to barely catch the sly way she throws a wink at you too, the quick gesture leaving you reeling in amusement.

Oh shit, what a hero.

You can definitely appreciate a good swindle win you see one. And that was great.

You slump against your crutch and chuckle tiredly, massaging your forehead with the tips of the fingers peeking stiffly from your cast, before raising your arm up to draw their attention.

“Alright, seriously, what’s going on with you guys today? Where’ve you all been? Some secret club within our secret club?” You question fervently, on a  new mission as you hobble closer towards them. “I have to admit, I’m kind of offended if that’s the case.”

“Oh, you know, out.” Cyborg says much too casually and unhelpfully for your liking, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweats. Simultaneously, Starfire responds much too quickly.

“In my room!” She declares loudly, unable to stop herself from flinching at the sharp, wide-eyed look Cyborg cuts her. She mouths an apology at him and flashes you a sheepish smile, tapping the tips of her index fingers together.

Oh, something is definitely going on. Not on my watch, secret keepers of the crypt.

You squint at them, “Sure. I’ll believe that. But why do I suddenly have a five-foot-furry shadow? One who doesn’t seem to know the concept of the word shame?”

Beast Boy gasps as though he’s never been so insulted in his young life (okay, so you may have possibly taken it a little too far that time. But in your defense, there’s a lot of stressful things going on right now, and the bat thing may have thrown you a little too far over the edge), scurrying around you to passionately wave a random, uh, peace sign in front of your face.

Wait, what?

“Five-foot-two.” He stresses firmly, wiggling both fingers for emphasis. You lean your weight on the single crutch keeping you gloriously upright, reaching out to tug his hand down with a groan.

“So not the point, batboy.”

“Hey! Bats are cool!”

“Ha! You know what else is cool?” You question sarcastically, nestling your casted arm against your chest as you lean forward to regard him with an arched eyebrow. “Not scaring the living shit of a person who’s already legally died twice from heart failure.”

Beast Boy concedes to your logic with a grimace, no doubt fighting off a burst of vivid memory on the subject.

“Point taken.” He agrees.

Cyborg pads over to you with a muffled laugh, giving your upper back a hearty, friendly slap that propels you forward a few steps. “Aw, B.B.’s just doing his job. Lighten up, (Y/N/N).”

You stumble with a strangled sound and work to regain your balance yourself through burning muscles, gripping the handle and uprights of the crutch as tightly as you can. You always forget how strong he is. And sometimes, though not often, so does he. Cyborg winces, flexing his fingers while he graces you with an apologetic smile. You raise an eyebrow at him; eyes locked intently on his face, as though you could simply reach into his mind and know all with a simple blink, and subtly tilt your head towards Beast Boy.

"And that means I can't leave one single room?"

"It was more to keep you busy." Cyborg admits with a grin that makes you all too nervous.  

Okay, red flag. Were you sweating? You might be sweating. They weren’t the…vengeful type, right? It’s not really your fault you tend to stress eat. Though….

"What are you all planning?" You ask again, unconsciously scanning the corners of room behind them for your two missing team members. Why do you feel like you’re about to be ambushed? Starfire hops forward like she’s stepping on air, looping her arm through yours and shaking it gently as she leans into you. Then she begins to drag you forward the smallest bit.

"Something wonderful!” She responds in that giddy way of hers, green eyes simmering with something impassioned and restless when they focus on your dumbfounded expression—fire brimming from her touch and her very being. She leans in closer and continues in a secretive whisper, which you think was meant to be soothing at some point between her thought process and strange execution. “But you must come to the roof to see it, my friend."

The….roof?

What’s so special about the fucking—

Oh.

….

Sonuvabitch.

To be completely honest, you knew it would somehow end like this. Betrayed by a moment of weakness and reduced to seething shame and broken trust, only to be real-life ghosted and then unceremoniously Mufasa-ed by your own team. A dramatic, imminent doom of Disney proportions. Ugh, what an embarrassing way to go. You really shouldn’t have gotten out of bed this morning like some normal, model citizen with an inane urge to contribute to society. What an idiot.

Still….maybe you’re just being a little over-dramatic here. Heroes usually have non-murdery morals, don’t they? Which is a big step up from your last group of…yeah….they weren’t even close to friends. Still, you can never be too careful these days. Right? Right.

You pull back from Starfire, trying to sound teasing as you respond, while barreling through your baseless internal panic and sprinkle of sugar-riddled guilt. How do you always get yourself into these messes?

"Is this the part where you throw me from the top? For finishing off the leftover cake without telling anyone?"

Beast Boy’s jaw drops.

"That was you?!"

Of course it was.

You laugh nervously and much too awkwardly to be convincing while you scramble to backtrack, "What?! Of course not!"

It was so good.

Starfire looks kind of horrified at your earlier insinuation about the roof, and she pulls away from you completely, eyes wide and unbelieving. She gasps, "We would never!"

Cyborg’s eyebrow shoots up as he studies your reaction. He frowns, lifting a hand to rub at his chin with an exaggerated sweep of his arm—as though he’s taking a moment to think more deeply about the matter—his metal fingers clunk-ing in the blanketing silence when they meet the thick, metal plate covering it. He sounds playful when he speaks up, and you know he’s not taking the news as hard as Gar currently is. 

"Well, now you've given me a lot to think about." He says slowly, amusement thick in his voice and vibrantly pulsing beneath his already crumbling, disappointed façade.

You wonder when it was exactly—when you’d unconsciously began to find his eagerly outspoken and protective spirit, his overly intense and personal pride (in all manners of technological tinkering and projects), and awful, awful acting, somewhat endearing. Maybe it was around the same time you’d grown rather fond of Beast Boy’s organic simplicity with life or perfectly-timed wit, his endearing, steadfast spirit and dorky, down-to-earth charm (though you would deny any accusation that says otherwise, pretending to find his endless stream of puns nothing but annoying). 

Or Starfire’s unfathomable warmth and, mostly smothering, overzealous passion in all things, no matter how small—a burning, extraterrestrial sun with a warrior’s soul and an open heart. Or Raven’s sarcastic calm and quiet disposition, a hopeful kind of darkness—as encompassing as it mystifying—which brings peace in ways one wouldn’t expect or think they needed. 

Or Robin. Noble and kind, brooding, insufferably stubborn, Robin—with an annoying competitive streak that rivals even you. Your outwardly, fearless friend and leader, a little birdie who keeps you from slipping back into your cold, old ways while still wanting to be a part of something better. To be a Titan. Time and time again. And—

Ah, fuck. You’ve gotten so sappy lately.

Near death experiences are the worst.

You roll your eyes at Cyborg, regardless of that grating, growing itch of sentimentality crawling up from your chest and into your throat like a rock, all the while fighting down the upwards twitch your lips.

"Oh, shut up.” You mutter, ducking your head so he won’t see as you move to hobble past the group back into the centre of the living room. “Even though I'm at my weakest right now, it doesn't mean I won't fight you."

Cyborg drops his arm and laughs, "I don't doubt it."

Beast Boy ducks around him; sparing no time as he shrinks down to the form of a chattering, green squirrel. Without breaking stride, he dashes towards your slowing figure, leaping forward to scale the rungs of your crutch. 

You jump at the sudden weight and list sideways, the vibration of his hurried ascent and the clattering of his nails against metal throwing you out of your concentrated state. You lean back too fast in surprise, catching the back of the couch with the underside of your cast to keep yourself somewhat upright, and wait with a raised brow as he moves to pull himself up onto the crutch pad at the top.

"Besides, you proved you’re anything but weak when you kicked Death’s ass! Multiple times.” He chirps proudly, settling back onto his little hind legs to stare up at you, bushy tail twitching and dark eyes round and glinting when they catch the light. “You're a survivor. Always have been.”

You grin, feeling satisfied that he finally seems to be more…relaxed about your injuries now (as opposed to the annoying, but much appreciated, panicked mother-henning you’d experienced throughout the first few weeks back on your feet). You have a sneaking suspicion Cyborg had a hand in this recent development—bless his beautiful, understanding soul—and you make a mental note to treat him to a pizza night soon. Or just hug him really, really tight in relief.

You heft your cast from the couch to hold out two fingers towards Beast Boy.

"And always will be." You agree. He reaches out with a shrill, happy squeak, tapping a front paw against them in a painfully adorable semblance of a high-five. Starfire joins you by the couch and lays her hand against your upper back, right between your shoulder blades, the swelling heat of it soothing the ache and strain of your poor muscles. Her gentle touch slides up, mindful of the bruises still splattered like patchwork across your skin, until you feel her lightly squeeze your shoulder.

"Very much like the warriors of old from my planet." She tells you softly, a smile pulling at her lips when your eyes dart up to look at her. It’s then you realize that all three of them are now looking at you rather expectantly, attention solely trained on your face as the room falls into an eager kind of silence. One that is quick to twist your abdomen into fluttering, nervous knots. 

Right, you think with a start, there was something about the roof—something they wanted me to see. You hesitate (is it getting hot in here, or is that just you self-combusting?), gaze jumping to each of your friends in turn. They continue to stare you down with purpose, waiting for your consent to be dazzled and thoroughly surprised, before you catch the barest hint of movement in your peripheral vision. You glance down at the back of the couch, wanting to scream your frustration to the sky, when you take in the wide, furry face peering back up at you.

Oh, not you too, ZuZu. You traitor.

She locks those intelligent eyes on you. He glowing pink gaze is intent and reprimanding, and god, you’re actually—silently, awkwardly—getting told off by an adorable lizard-themed care bear, who hails from the far reaches of infinity and beyond the known galaxy. What has your life come too? And the worst part is you don’t think you’re strong enough to—oh, goddamit. Peer pressure is a bitch.

"Alright.” You relent with a groan, throwing ZuZu a pointed, disgruntled look (which she simply counters with a glowing pink frill and mischievous wink, a move that has you breathing deeply to avoid just chucking your crutch across the room in defiance of it all). You turn to gesture at the others, “Fine. Let's get this show on the road then."

Beast Boy leaps down from the top of the crutch before you’ve even finished talking, his tiny shape shifting into the much larger form of a tiger once he touches down (more gracefully than you’d expected him to). He gives a little throaty growl in excitement, circling in place to get his bearings. And then with a sudden focus that makes you laugh, he’s bounding in a rush to slink between Cyborg and Starfire—his gaze already intensely trained down the hallway that leads towards the elevator.

"Sweet! Now you’re talking!" He exclaims with a swish of his tail, pausing only for a moment to throw a look back at Cyborg, the familiar imitation of a fanged grin even more terrifying with larger, sharper teeth on display. "Dibs on the donuts!"

Uh, donuts??

Cyborg groans and scrubs a hand over his face, stepping forward with his other hand outstretched, as if he could keep his excited friend from moving with just sheer force of will. "No! You don't get to just—Gar!"

Starfire tilts her head and watches until Beast Boy disappears around the curve of the hallway, "You have to admire his will power up until this moment." She points out, reaching out to brush a soothing touch to Cyborg’s shoulder.

He gives her a solemn nod in agreement. "...true." "Hi, yeah, still confused." You slowly iterate, when it’s clear they’re going to say nothing more on the manner, and looking hilariously haunted, just stare out into the middle distance like some kind of dramatic dork-asses. You can’t help it though—you want answers. You’ve been officially intrigued (donuts are always a good sign and nothing will convince you otherwise) and that cat-damning curiosity in you can never be quieted for long, so help you.

“Are we still going to the roof?”

Cyborg is the first to shake himself to attention, and he swings around to look at you with a knowing grin that tells you’re probably about to regret opening your mouth again. Probably. You guess?

…..

Okay, so you might be already exhausted enough now, with all this moving about and floundering, moral turmoil, to deal with any mysterious roof meetings and their possible consequences—and there’s no truly hiding it, or just burying it away for future you to worry about come morning (damn, why is past you always such a dick?).

Which leaves you decidedly awash in a ‘My mind is an emotional dumpster fire and all I want is to hibernate for forty years’ kind of way, unable to completely distinguish the nuances of your feelings on anything happening within a 10 foot radius. 

Especially since you’d….broken that quiet morning after the attack, finally reconciling with a screeching realization you’d been pushing back for years—even with all that damaged purpose, all that strength and determination and precious time you’d flooded into looking after yourself and only you, instead of worrying about others and how they might screw with you this time, you’d left yourself open anyway. Unwillingly, accidently, raw—like an exposed nerve adrift in the cosmos and crying out for relief.

Someone in power must have had mercy on you at last though, because you have friends. Good friends who are good people. And you love them in your own rough-around-the-edges way (is that the right word here? Love? You hope that’s the right word—it feels like the right word); but there’s no chance you’re ever going to tell any of them that. It’s become too embarrassing to even think about in your own mind, let alone out loud where they could actually...hear you.

But you’re not going to let all your personal baggage stop you now. Not while there’s the promise of donuts anyway.

Yeah, your priorities might need a little sorting out.

"Come on." Cyborg says, already treading backwards in the direction Beast Boy had gone. Starfire zips past you with ease, cutting around the corner like a fish would dart through deep water.

Her laugh echoes through the hall as she vanishes from sight, "Oh, this is going to be such a joyous occasion!"

Cyborg takes his time to snicker at the nervous grimace on your face. But you valiantly choose to be the bigger person here (no matter how much you want to knock your head against the nearest wall and see if your middle finger still works within the stiffness of a cast), simply rolling your eyes as you hobble to catch up to him around the bend in the hallway. He slows his pace without a word until you’re following closely at his side.

“So why aren’t we taking the elevator?” You inquire, watching as the thick metal doors slide past in your peripheral. It’s then you spot the other two loitering around by the door to the stairs.

The plot thickens.

Cyborg struggles to squash his playful grin, “Occupied.”

“By...”

“A second surprise. Now come on.” He diverts smoothly, waving his hand over the sensor for the door once Beast Boy and Starfire step away to make room for you both. It slides open from left to right with a mechanical hiss, and you peer in to the brightly lit stairwell with a raised brow. The glaring, white fluorescent lights are already giving you a headache.

“How do you expect me to get up the stairs?”

“Easy.”

“Oh, really? Easy? What are you even—”

The world shifts like a seesaw in your vision and you can barely comprehend the next few seconds: the way Cyborg stoops low enough to knock out the backs of your knees, the simultaneous rush of weightlessness—a fluttering, dizzying drop in your stomach that stalls the very breath in your chest—or even the jumbled burst of restrained laughter and disapproving click of a tongue which dissipates almost as soon as it starts. 

And you tip backwards into his arms with flailing limbs and a startled yelp as you’re gently scooped up, hanging shocked and boneless until he swings you up to cling onto his back like some sort of panicked koala. Cyborg laughs more boisterously as you lose your crutch in the commotion, grip loosening in your surprise until it slips entirely from your hold and vanishes from reach, the telltale clattering of metal against ground echoing from somewhere off to the side.

“—goddammit, Vic!” You gasp when the world stands still again, sucking in air for your breathless lungs. “A little warning!”

He simply cups the back of your knees and holds your legs tightly over the ridged, triangular slab of metal casing his hips, slowly straightening to his full, giant height again. It gives you a moment to throw your arms around his neck for safety and squeeze with all your reprimanding might. Cyborg turns to look at you with a teasing smirk you’re all too familiar with, before stepping further into the doorway.

“Comfortable there, Grumpy?”

“You’re the worst.” You announce without any real bite, leaning back to scan the floor for your missing crutch. It doesn’t take you long to realize that Starfire has already rescued it, hugging the dented metal pole to her chest with a look of determination. She catches your relieved gaze over Cyborg’s shoulder and nods as if reassuring you that she’s got everything handled now, gently patting the cushioned padding at the top of the crutch.

And then her eyes eagerly snap to Cyborg.

You can’t see his face from your vantage point, but you think he’s relaying permission with the way he tilts his head towards the stairs. Both Starfire and Beast Boy rocket forward in any case, barely sidestepping around you in their race up the first flight of stairs. Cyborg follows them without hesitation, and you can hardly wait another moment once your little group hurriedly passes the third floor, before the mystery of the roof becomes too intriguing to avoid any longer.

“So...are Rob and Raven in on this too?” You carefully begin, speaking to no one in particular but hoping someone might answer you anyway. “Cause they've been more mysterious than usual.”

"Grumpy and observant. You know…you'd make a pretty awesome detective too—give Dick some healthy competition around here." Cyborg returns in an innocent manner, which you know for a fact is bullshit. So you lamely thump a fist against the point between the heavy, metal plating circling his neck before it tapers down into his chest, and grumble your displeasure.

"Annnd you're dodging my questions, big guy. Again."

Cyborg says nothing this time and simply uses the firm hold he has under your knees to toss you up a few inches, jostling you free from your comfortable koala cling as though he`s trying to readjust your position. Only you know that’s not what he intended at all—evidenced by the irritating way he starts to laugh while you groan at him and shimmy urgently at his back, trying to right yourself from the haphazard tilt you’d landed in.

"Ugh! I miss being able to walk up a flight of stairs like a normal person!" You whine, bonking your forehead against the smooth, climate-controlled casing covering the back of his head, the vibrations of his full-body laughter rattling straight through you.

Beast Boy goes still ahead of the group, front paw hovering above the next step up. That unsettling tiger grin as he turns to regard you is the only warning you get before the inevitable.

"Eh, I wouldn’t trust these stairs though,” Beast Boy drawls with terrifying purpose, “They always seem like they're…up to something."

Starfire pipes up from her place hovering beside you and Cyborg in perfect comedic timing, her eyes narrowed in contemplation.

"Well yes, up to the roof—oh...that was..."

Yeah, Kori. Damn.

He waits in the ensuing, hollow silence of the stairwell for a reaction, gaze expectantly darting from person to person until you don’t know whether to laugh or just get mad.

....both?

Alright, okay, here’s the thing.

Though you may have...secretly....begun to appreciate Garfield’s endless arsenal of jokes and puns as much as that next person (you’ve got a reputation to uphold after all), that....was not so good. 

You’d face palm if you had complete confidence in your upper body strength as of late, but you definitely do not—especially after that embarrassingly sad attempt to escape to your room earlier (feat. the interference of your awkwardly unexpected, five foot-two bodyguard). And you’d very much like to keep securely clinging for your life atop mount ‘Victory’ Stone instead, rather than somehow (ridiculously) finding some way to slip from his back and fall to a more permanent death down the tower’s two-hundred stairway to hell.

So, you’ll just lock away this existential breakdown for another day and move on. Be the bigger person here, again.

....

Or.

"I think I'm starting to miss the coma." You deadpan with unabashed pettiness (because you’d actually had to listen to that with your own two ears), refusing to give him even the slightest satisfaction of a job well done.

Step up your game, Gar.

You can pinpoint the exact moment Cyborg winces with regret for his friend—his chin dipping down, the glowing blue machinery encasing half his skull whirring with a soft, discomforting humming like he’s finally reduced to just screaming on the inside.

"Oof,” He eventually adds through a long exhale. “I've heard better stuff from you, man."

Beast Boy sniffs in displeasure at your less than positive reactions, "Yo, give me a break; I'm still getting over the pizza thing."

You heft your body up straight to stare him dead in the eyes and lift your unbroken arm, wiggling your fingers over Cyborg’s head in a teasing way. "Let it haunt you for the rest of your daaaays~"

You don’t think you’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing a hulking, green, murder cat roll its eyes so hard before. But there it is—in all its uncanny, cartoon-like glory. Beast Boy shakes his heavy head and resumes slinking up the stairs, leaving the rest of you to catch up while he throws another line over his shoulder, in a way you know is meant to be a playful declaration of war.

"Which reminds me...” He purrs slyly, “….what did the ghost say when it arrived at the party?"

Starfire taps at her chin in thought, "Ummm hello?”

Beast Boy’s enthusiasm swells with her genuine attempt, and he turns to coax his best friend into answering as well.

"Not quite. Come on, Cy, this is all you dude."

"Can I get a—"

"Victor don't you dare!"

Cyborg merely hums at your desperate interjection, "Uh-oh full name. That's never a good sign."

"Oh!” Starfire’s expression lights up in a way you’re entirely used to by now, and she leaves your side on the flutter of a giddy laugh, hovering quick up the next few steps. She smiles down at Beast Boy once she reaches him, titling her head as he looks up at her with an animated flick of his tail.

“I believe I know this one. May I?" She quietly gushes, twirling to lounge back gracefully in the air beside him. His head bobs once, long and slow, still flashing that sharp grin.

"Dazzle me, Star."

"Can I get the Boo-ya!!?"

"HA! Yeah, that’s wassup!"

You thunk your head against Cyborg’s shoulder this time, wincing at the brief pulse of pain from pounding metal against skull. "Oh my god, are we there yet?"

"As a matter of fact..." Cyborg mysteriously trails off, hopping up the last step to the top landing of the stairway. You peek up in interest and immediately want a better look when you see that the access to the roof is propped open the slightest bit, squishing your cheek against Cyborg’s as you lean forwards with the anticipation of it all. It’s easy to spot the flickering movement from just beyond the door—shadows moving fast from one end to the other. Is someone already there?

You suck in an anxious breath when Cyborg lowers himself to one knee and releases his hold on you, carefully helping you dismount from your cling, and Starfire is all too eager to return your crutch, pushing it into your arms and waving you forwards. Your friends let you nudge open the door then without another word, following you out as you bravely take your first few steps and—

…..

You think you might’ve blacked out for a moment in shock.

Beast Boy circles your legs as you silently take in the state of the roof, rubbing against them with a gentle brush of his body before he exclaims, "Surprise! Did we getcha??"

You blink a few times to get your bewildered mind working again. Because out of any possible scenario you could have—and did—invent within your imagination….it was nothing like…well, this.

The smell of hot food wafting through the summer-like air reaches you first, and you’re drawn to admire what is definitely Starfire's touch in your unexpected surprise. 

There are two tables set up across the roof directly ahead, side by side and pushed flush against the lip of rectangular ledge boxing in the space. Each wooden surface is filled with cutlery, food and drinks in jade colored bowls and glasses, and adorned with fun, rainbow coloured table cloths—the cheap, plastic kind you’d find from a dollar store—and regal centre pieces among the clutter. These consist of wreaths with beaded jewel strings and alien metal shapes, forms that remind you of branded symbols you’d once glimpsed from the hilts of her homeworld weapons.

There’s a fancy new boom box sitting on the ledge, just to the left of the food tables. It’s silvery and shiny in the late evening light, akin to the small heap of patterned presents sitting below it, or the bouquets of metallic balloons weighed down by sandbags in each corner of the roof. 

Cyborg’s own creative touch is more quiet, but still obvious in your racing mind, reflected in the large blue and white fairy lights the size of your fist, strings of them hooked beneath the ledge and spaced along the entire perimeter of the roof. They remind you of mini lava lamps—slowly swinging, each casing filled with swirling, pulsing energy, casting loops of light and shadow which dance across the sleek stone of the rooftop ground.

Your gaze finds four, dark green bean bag chairs next, moved from the game room to sit in a circle further down the left side of the roof. A neat, tent-like canopy, reminiscent of Raven’s more gothic looking style, is set up over them and affixed with steel piping, made of sheer dark sheets in purple, blue, and black—a cozy, magical lounging spot that makes you long for the calmness and dark that only sleep can bring. 

You slowly turn to your right, noting that access to the elevator on the other side of the roof is surprisingly clear for once, the usual pile of rickety telescope gear stored away to make room for dancing. And through an odd urge to cast a look behind you, you easily catch sight of the cute, homemade banner dangling above the door you’ve just stepped through, green and bubblegum pink letters scrawled across a white strip of poster board: Party Like It’s Your Birthday!!

You recognize Beast Boy’s handwriting the moment your eyes trace the first few letters.

It takes you a moment, still staring out at the culmination of your surprise, to realize that it all clashes terribly, although you don't find yourself caring in the slightest. It’s beautiful and endearing and makes sense to you in every way that matters—and you wouldn't have it look any other way.

Huh…look at that.

You're actually getting a hang of this sappy feelings thing.  "Uh, wh—I…what's all this for?" You finally manage to sputter out, once your friends go back to watching you with those barely contained grins and expectant gazes. Even Raven, already in the midst of final preparations, standing by that glorious canopy as she methodically smoothes out wrinkles in the overlapping fabric—both manually and magically—is smiling shyly at you over her shoulder. Her dark, purple-colored eyes are carefully mapping out every hitch in your expression. 

Like the others, she’s dressed more casually than you’re used to seeing around the tower; ripped dark-washed skinny jeans with a cropped tee to match and clunky, black combat boots, a leather choker that looks uncomfortably tight around her neck. But the most unexpected difference has to be when you realize what she’s missing. Her signature, purple-blue cloak has been swapped for a hooded, bomber jacket—black with gold zippers and detailing, and one size too big. It’s so strange a sight that it’s actually….kind of weirding you out a little.

Starfire grasps the wrist of your cast and gently tugs you forward, guiding you further into the organized mayhem that was once the tower’s roof. "The happiest day of birth to you my friend!"

Oh. Oh.

Now this is awkward.

"It's my…birthday?" You ask dumbly. Beast boy’s tiny head, that of an adorably, fluffed up squirrel monkey this time, pops up from the depths of a bowl sitting on the first food table—like some knock-off whack-o-mole game (and wait a goddamn minute, when the hell did he even get there?). His little hands grip the lip of the bowl as he chatters through crunching pretzels.

"Duh! At least yeah, I think so…uh, right?"

You clasp a hand to your forehead when you remember the date and groan, "No, no, you’re right, I think it is. Crap, I feel like I lost an entire year."

Starfire’s whole body slumps at your reaction, floating down until her feet touch ground.

"You are unhappy." She concludes sadly.

Aw, cripes, why are you like this?

"NO! No, Kori, I'm happy!” You hurriedly reassure her, “I just....I haven't really celebrated it in a long time. I never had anyone to..."

They hear your unspoken implication clear enough and offer you sad, little smiles—varying degrees of empathy seeping through into their expressions. Empathy. And not pity. Not judgment. Just compassion from people who understand it all. 

An alien princess far from home who embraces difference and is learning to choose a life for herself, a half-cybernetic football star who had to learn when to let go and walk a new path in life, a troubled half-demon not wanting to be defined by the past or her heritage, a metahuman menagerie of animals fighting the pull of loneliness while still finding strength in his friends, and an orphan circus boy turned vigilante—given not only a second chance to make a difference for others, but unwavering hope as well.

Your own Breakfast Club of heroes.

"Well now ‘ya have us." Beast Boy says with serious resolve you haven’t often seen when it comes to your loyal jokester, the others agreeing simultaneously as he bounds closer in small leaps from across the table. There’s a painful clenching in your chest at their sentiments, and although it feels like you’re on the verge of a heart attack, it’s a good kind of hurt that brings relief to your entire being.

Because thinking it is one thing, but hearing it out loud dregs more emotion to the surface than you ever thought you had—makes it all the more real. You swallow thickly and try to keep composed through another monumental shift in your perceptions.

"I know." You return softly.  Starfire takes your hand and holds it firmly in hers, mindful of the strength in her grip.

"And you are indeed truly....happy?"

Well, that’s a heavy question.

You never truly belonged anywhere, in the past. Too unnatural for everyday civilians, too angry for heroes, too kind for villains. You never understood why no one could just let you be....something in the middle.

But now, you think you’re finally learning that happy is something you can be, even while half-existing in that kind of grey area. So you squeeze her hand in reassurance and take a page from Beast Boy’s book—you attempt to lighten the mood.

"I will be once we get this party started." You tease, pulling away to turn on the boom box and click through stations in search of something party worthy. With that, the others move to disperse; Starfire and the boys already picking through the food tables with interest, while Raven briefly ducks beneath one to retrieve an opaque, plastic storage tote. 

It’s blue and more than decently sized in her arms, but she carries it easily and without a word to the bean bag canopy, sitting (legs crossed and back perfectly straight) to methodically sift through its contents.

Starfire waves you towards the food tables once you settle on a popular radio station known for their mix of genres and artists—a little something for everyone hopefully.

"Come then, you must partake in some of this delicious food. I tried earth recipes." She proudly tells you, scooping up some sort of rice dish to wave under your nose as though hoping to entice you further. It smells pleasant, of grilled vegetables and egg, but all your attention has latched onto a single word that equally intrigues as it concerns you.

“Tried.” You echo, leaning to balance on your crutch and free up your unbroken arm. You press a single finger against the rim of the dish in her hands, lowering it down and away from your face. Starfire looks a little sheepish as she curls an arm around the ceramic, rounded dish and fits it into the crook of her elbow to rest, lifting her own newly freed arm to sweep a lock of hair behind her ear. A nervous tick.

She hugs the dish even closer, “There were…the incidents.”

“Nothing you couldn’t handle.” Raven adds from afar. Starfire leans around you to beam at her welcome encouragement; seeming as though she’s already seconds away from just fly-tackling her into a vice-like hug—a very Starfire act of affection.

Which you should probably redirect now, if you want to keep that beautiful canopy standing.

"Everything smells great, Star. Thank you. In fact..." You select a spoon from the first table and a tiny serving plate, before gesturing in silent question to the dish still in her arms. She’s ecstatic at your offer, extending it to you at once with bright, shining eyes. You carefully ladle out a few spoonfuls of the rice mixture, and with a playful cheers and raise of your spoon, you taste your first dish of the evening.

"Oh shit, that's good." You groan in surprise.

"Oh wonderful, I knew you would enjoy it!"

Beast Boy whoops eagerly from the centre of the second table, crouching among a spread of simple desserts. "Wicked! I call the donuts next!"

Cyborg anticipates his movement before you can, firmly squashing a hand against Beast Boy’s monkey head to keep him from leaping towards an open tray. Beast Boy whines openly at the injustice.

"Dude, come on, be cool!"

Ah, now that makes sense.

Starfire sighs and returns the tasty rice dish to its rightful place, hesitating only to shoot you an apologetic look as she steps towards the commotion. But you just smile in understanding, gesturing for her to go on and deal with the boys before they decimate all of her hard work.

And now it’s probably a good idea to clear the blast zone.

You make a rather slow beeline for the front entrance of the canopy, lowering your body down to sit in the place Raven silently offers you by shifting pointedly to the side—content to be off your feet for a moment. Raven picks up on your underlying curiosity though, the second you glance at the box still under her scrutiny, her gaze cutting up to regard you with the slightest touch of amusement. 

You observe the way she tips her head, a pulse of darkened magic lighting up around the mysterious container, and it slides in a short burst to rest in front of you.

Well, well, what do we have here?

You peer down into the depths and react too late to stifle your gasp.

It’s filled with boxes of classic party games and entertainment, stacked upon each other in neat little towers along the inside: video game cartridges and two portable games devices, a deck of cards, Connect Four, Cluedo, and yep….that's definitely Twister, oh my fuck (you may be a little over excited for this. Which is strange for you...considering you can't even remember the last time you've ever so passionately, deeply, viscerally, wanted to roll out a stupid, colorful tarp and contort your body into unhealthy positions), a wooden board and an accompanying game-piece tin for Checkers, Pictionary, Monopoly, Jenga, Uno, the Game of Life (aaaannd too real with this one actually, might be avoiding that), Guess Who?, Snakes and Ladders, as well as games you hadn't seen since your earlier days of childhood—Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots and Hungry Hungry Hippos (meaning your small child self is living right now).  

Only one person knew about this, knew about your stupid birthday-candle wishes from the short, hopeful part of your childhood that's since been eradicated by harsh realities; the longing desperation to make any kind of worthwhile connection, to know love or be wanted outside of a means to a quick pay-day. 

To swing with others at a crowded park, to play games and join clubs, or have a sleepover with greasy food and late night truths—to be free (and you blame this emotional vomit entirely on exhausted, blabbermouth you, spilling your guts in a tired stupor while sharing stove-top hot chocolate in the kitchen at 3 a.m. Feeling vulnerable when he'd quietly shared his own frustrations with the role of leader and recent disconnect with his father, letting you lament in return about never getting the chance to just…be a normal kid. Something he understood. Something he remembered).

Oh, Dick Grayson.

You are the best of us.

You shake your head clear of any vivid memories, reaching in to unearth the Twister box and hold it up to admire its magnificence in the rapidly fading light. "So.” You start in what you hope is a casual enough tone, exchanging the box for another to seem busy. “You put all of this together, huh?"

She shrugs, "We figured you could use some...fun. After everything that's happened."

You grin and fish out an exceptionally old classic next, pointing the vibrant box of colourful, caricature hippos at her. "I didn't think this was your kind of fun, Rae."

"It's not.” Raven admits bluntly, floating the game from your hands despite your protest and back into the storage container with a challenging raise of her brow. “But I can enjoy the value in it. And in spending time with my friends." 

(You don’t do enough of that. Why don’t you do enough of that?)

"Pfft are you going soft on us?" You say, weakly avoiding eye contact while wrestling away the any more intrusive thoughts and stabs of related guilt.

You watch her fight the beginnings of a smirk, "I could ask you the same question."

"Oh man, that's disgusting even for you B.B!" Cyborg grouses suddenly in the distance, and you’ve never felt so relieved for a distraction in your young life. Your friend is standing in front of the farthest food table when you look over, his hands on his hips and a frown of disapproval trained on something among the mass of dishes and delicious smelling cuisine. 

You find out why when you follow his line of sight, your body and gaze lifting a tad to seek out what’s happened—and you can’t say you’re all too surprised with this inevitable development.

Beast Boy is laying, dramatically draped, across the tray of donuts he’d been denied earlier, monkey toes wriggling to dispel powdered sugar from between them.

"Let me live my life, man." He jokes between fistfuls of sweet pastry. Cyborg makes a grab for him in retaliation and he jerks back out of reach as if fully expecting this outcome, throwing himself to the side in a graceful dodge.

"Halt! Oh please do watch out for the—"

In his flurry of movement—kicking out his legs for momentum and rolling head over feet to a neat stop a few feet further down the table—Beast Boy accidently whacks the side of another bowl near the edge, the dish teetering dangerously on the precipice of destruction.

But Starfire is always quick on her feet. She lunges for the bowl and makes the catch before it can fall victim to the laws of gravity (those you’re already painfully aware of), cradling it safely in her arms and sighing in relief as she cordially lifts it in your direction.

"Do not fear! I have saved the mac of the cheese!"

"Though it has its moments." Raven deadpans, flipping up her hood with a shake of her head.

"Speaking of moments…is this a good time for a dramatic entrance?"

Starfire whirls around unearthly fast at the familiar voice, the echo spiking through the low, near constant beat and rhythm drifting from the speakers of the boom box—none of you having heard a door open or close, or even a single footfall drop onto the roof.

"Robin! You have made it!"

Alright.

You know he’s practically a ninja (because it’s what he’s been dutifully trained to do), but you still think this deserves a hearty what the hell anyway.

How long has he even been standing there?

Though before you can reflect too deeply on the matter, you find yourself bearing witness to Robin’s handling of the fly-tackle hug. To his credit, he takes the sudden, colliding weight like a champ; a short laugh ripped from him at the initial breath-stealing thump, and he stumbles back to restore his balance without falling on his ass.

You can tell that he’s definitely a pro at this by now.

He gives her a generous, friendly squeeze before they part, turning his attention back to the rest of his team. It’s then you fully take in how he’s dressed; slim-fitting jeans, a dark blue tee, a solid, gray flannel shirt over top—unbuttoned and left hanging open, long sleeves rolled up at to his elbows—and red converse. 

His knee is still in a brace, a black watch with a stiff Kevlar strap fastened around his left wrist, its face square and rimmed with silver. And from your place you can even study the state of his dark hair—soft and without gel, but noticeably mussed like he’s been running his fingers through it all day.  

"There's our fearless leader!” You warmly call out, letting Raven ease you helpfully to your feet so that you can welcome your newly arrived team member. You lightly bump your cast against his shoulder once you reach him, and then again just to be annoying when he nudges your arm away the first time (but not without a fond roll of his eyes).

With less distance your gaze finds thin, pink marks left like badges on his skin, the stitches having already healed and dissolved from under his chin and across his collarbone, his blue eyes a little hazy in their focus. 

All in all, he looks tired up this close, in small ways you might overlook in passing—his grin beginning to wilt just at the upper corners of his lips, dropping eyelids and subtle bruising under his eyes, and the barest smudges of oil left neglected on his person; freckle-like specks across his jaw, staining the toes of his converse and the collar of his t-shirt (that particular one looking especially dark and ingrained into the fabric, like he’d hastily blotted at the spot in a rush and then gave up half-way through)—though you wouldn’t guess it from his posture. 

He’s all squared shoulders, a confident lift of his head and a soft, delighted glint in his eyes despite the heaviness you’d noticed before. He’s proud even in the face of exhaustion, so you elect not to bring any attention to it.

“I was beginning to think Batman whisked you off back home for some clown-punching and father-son bonding." You continue impishly, mimicking his mentor’s cowl by placing an index finger on either side of your head. You bounce them up and down in a tease.

"No, that was last month.” Robin reminds you dryly, pressing his lips together to keep from smiling. He jabs a thumb over his shoulder at the open elevator door he’d obviously emerged from. “I was actually just finishing up some final touches on an old friend of yours."

Huh. O…kay?

"Ominous." Cyborg offers before you can voice your own confusion, settling back against a food table with a deviously knowing smile.

Best Boy huffs with palpable disappointment instead, climbing swiftly onto the ledge behind his friend. He scuttles around a portion of the roof to sit beside the thumping boom box, while still taking time to throw out his own affirmation on the matter, before shifting back into his human form and swinging his dangling legs to the beat of the current song.

"Yeah, way creepy, dude."

Robin frowns, “I was being mysterious!”

Cyborg seems to be enjoying this immensely for some reason, leaning forward and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well, don’t.”

“Damn. Don’t hold anything back.”

“Do not worry, Robin.” Starfire remarks with a pat to his shoulder, “I still find you the mysterious.”

You try to stifle your sputtering laughter as Robin sighs in defeat, reaching up to touch her hand in wordless thanks. He motions for you to stay where you are then, swiping his finger across the face of his watch. It lights up blue like a touch screen, and something large and humming (a machine?) darts from the inside of the elevator.  

The futuristic motorcycle that slides to a near-silent stop in front of you is like something right out of Tron. There’s a high leather seat and bullet-proof windshield among sleek, rounded black metal and glowing, magnetic green lights. They detail the length of the body like racing stripes, circling around the headlights and up into the shape of a triangle above them, as well as lining the inside rims of its large, treaded wheels (two in front and one in the back). The padded, silver handles poke through the front casing like devil horns.

It’s a familiar, wrenching image—one you could only dream of seeing again after the brutal attack on Jump City.

"Lucy!” You burst out instantly, and much to the Robin’s immense enjoyment, hopping forward in your excitement to reach your beloved cycle. You trace your fingers over the glowing triangle, pressing your palm to the leather seat with stinging, blurry eyes. It feels warm. Alive. “Oh my crap, you resurrected my bike!"

Cyborg gently pats the cycle with pride, "Rob and I spent weeks trying to fix her up. Finally got all the parts working again."

"You—this is—holy shit."

"Glad you like it."

Robin throws an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into his side, pretending not notice your muffled sniffling like a super-star best friend. "Happy birthday, (Y/N)." He mutters, loosening the fancy watch so he can clasp it around your unbroken wrist in a nimble flourish.

Cyborg pumps his fist in the air when you choke out a disbelieving laugh, victoriously striding to the centre of the roof to proclaim:  

"Well, what are we standing around here for? Let's get this thing started!"

“Oh yes, let us start the celebration my friends!”

“Eh, sure.”

"Party people!" Beast Boy cries out in agreement, finally leaping down from the ledge.

"Alright, Alright. You don't have to tell me twice." Robin chuckles, gesturing for the others to go ahead with the festivities. He stays to hover around you though, and is suspiciously quiet at first, simply stepping around you and your newly built cycle to pluck a can of soda from a food table. He idly brushes away condensation with a broad swipe of his thumb, waiting for the others to further disband around you both. 

When the coast is clear, evident by the way he glances from side to side, he turns towards you with his head down, popping the tab on the can and taking a heavy gulp. You raise a brow and wait, more than aware of his tendency by now to try and constantly torture you with the value of patience. He purses his lips in thought, before he finally meets your gaze with a playful twist to his usual smirk.

“So, hey.” He begins somewhat offhandedly, drumming his fingers across the surface of the table, “We should take a team picture at some point. All of us. Like a…memory of tonight’s occasion—if you want.”

You shouldn’t make it this easy for him—because he’ll never stop teasing you about how quickly you caved—but you find that you truly do like the idea. He just doesn’t need to know how much at the moment. So you settle on feigning tired reluctance, hoping (fooslishly) that he doesn’t see right through you.

“It wouldn’t hurt, I guess.”

“You guess?”

….

It’s really annoying when he does that.

You pout at the light amusement in his tone and follow his earlier path to the table, seizing a donut in a moment of pure impulse from the tray Beast Boy had previously vacated. You feel satisfied when you notice that it’s one of the unfortunate monkey feet ones, and then thrust it into Robin’s free hand. 

He must have been around long enough to see the offense for himself, because his nose crinkles in distaste when he registers what you’ve given him, letting the tainted pastry dangle from two fingers.

Sweet revenge.

You dole out smirk of your own.

“Eat your donut, dick.”

*****************************************************************

It’s well into the evening, sunset colours already fading calmly from the sky, when Robin parks himself next to you on the ledge of the roof, smoothly swinging his legs over and dropping to sit with a long sigh of relief. Huh…it seems like someone definitely had a longer day today than they let on.

And honestly? Mood.

You tap him with the rounded bottom of the crutch lying across your lap, throwing him a cursory glance and a smile in greeting. But he doesn’t respond the way you expect him to, no. Instead, you’re surprised to see that rare, relaxed grin of his already peeking through all of the obvious exhaustion.

"What are you smiling about, Grayson? You're creeping me out." You muse gently, brow arching at the amusement that grows all the more in the curl of his smile. It’s like he’s proudly uncovered some great secret in the time it took you to voice your thoughts, and is now going to make you work for a satisfying answer. Which, you have to admit, isn’t a very unusual outcome when it comes to your friend and his bat-crazy mentor.

Heh.

Gar would love that one.

"Oh, you know…nothing too important.” Robin counters with a non-committal shrug of his shoulder.

Uhhh, yeah, that’s not comforting in the slightest, you decide.

You narrow your eyes at him and poke at his upper arm accusingly, “You’re never really this terrible of a liar usually.”

“Well, usually isn’t now.”

You pause to let his utter nonsense sink in.

“Are all detectives this uselessly cryptic or is this just a you thing?”

“I think it’s a family thing actually.”

“That I believe.” You laugh, gripping tight to the edge of the concrete ledge with one hand as you lean forward to admire the twinkling darkness of the water far below—a beautiful, convoluted gloom in the beginnings of silver moonlight. You catch his lingering stare in your peripheral when you shift, an odd amount of softness there you’re not exactly used to seeing directed your way.

“What?” You ask again in exasperation (and maybe a tad more overly sharp than you wanted). He only winks when you turn to get a better read on him, and looking much too smug and unconcerned, tips his head back to study the distant, firefly-like pinpricks of light just now glittering through the encroaching dark above you.

There’s a blissful beat of silence between the continuously wafting smells (of heavy spices and cheese and the lingering sweetness of fancy chocolate) and the nearby ambient sounds of your friends locked in an intense game of Jenga (their laughter and conversation—Raven is definitely on a roll by the sounds of it—the clinking of cutlery and plates, and the low, near-constant pop music blanketed beneath it all), and then—

“Welcome home.” He says quietly.

You stare at him a moment longer; hesitant, flustered, warm—like some kind of utter punch-drunk goober—until your gaze slips mercifully back to the sky, drawn in by the trembling might of the stars far out of reach.

And you let the moment sit within the unexpected, peaceful calm his voice brings, unbroken without a sarcastic quip or cynical remark, just this once. A moment to find value in.

Because this is your family, or….what you’d always imagined one to be.

So, even though you’d never truly been privy to a lot of happiness before this—this tiny, momentous moment right where you need to be; sitting on the roof ledge of your home—you find your own sense of peace in thinking that here and now, if there ever was a happy place in this life for you—

This is it.  

#teen titans #teen titans imagines #teen titans x reader #dc comics #dc comics imagines #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson imagines #robin x reader #dick grayson #starfire x reader #starfire imagines #koriand'r #starfire #raven x reader #raven imagines #raven #beast boy x reader #beast boy imagines #beast boy #garfield logan #rachel roth #cyborg x reader #cyborg imagines #cyborg #victor stone #x reader #imagines #x you

[morganas-pendragons]

Affirmation | Thor

VERY MINOR ENDGAME SPOILERS.

It’s hard, learning to adjust to life after the snap. It’s even harder having to come to terms with a loss that you were sure you wouldn’t be able to endure. Having to see what it does to the ones you love.

But what’s worse is having to live with knowing you are helpless to bring them back again.

They say that misery loves company, so you eventually begin seeking out the few who are willing to socialize. Stark is your favorite, as usual, given that all he talks about is wedding plans. It’s nice really, to know that at least someone is getting their happy ending.

Steve prefers to talk while training, which isn’t surprising. And Natasha? She cannot get enough of listening to you talk about your time with Thor, offworld, before Asgard’s demise.

And at the end of every night, you always end up right in the same spot. Right in front of Thors door.

Given that you are the only reason he’s still breathing, Thor almost never denies you entry. Sure.. he’s been with the Avengers for a significant amount of time, but you were the one who left Earth to be with him on Asgard. Picked up and left everything you’d ever known to travel to his home - a place of majesty - and over the course of time, fall in love with him.

It’s one of his prouder moments - reminiscing over the times he’d spent with you at home. A tour around the palace, meeting Frigga and Odin, socializing with his people, being the only one who can make Loki-

Perhaps another time.

When you enter it, Thor’s bedroom is dimly lit by the cluster of candles on his nightstand. A soft reverb of the music FRIDAY provides him with echoes against the walls. He’s told you before that it reminds him of the musicians who once occupied the throne room of Asgard.

You’d never be one to deny him a piece of home.

“Thor?” Your query comes out timid, almost like a part of you is afraid of the man that sits before you on the bed. This remarkable man who you will chase with reckless abandon. Who you love despite his consistent reminders of the failure he claims to be.

Not to you. Not now, not ever.

“I just... I really need to be with someone I know right now. Someone who gets it. My heart-“ Before you can react, Thor surges outward and fully pulls you into his embrace. It’s all instinctual at that point - wrapping your legs around Thors waist, hands tangled in the hair at his nape. Warm breath ghosts over your collarbone as he nuzzles the crook of your shoulder, and you’re convinced at that point that he’s either trying to hide or mend all your broken pieces back together. “Hurts.”

“I too feel it. The heartache.” It’s the first time in months he’s been willing to talk about losing his people, his home, and his brother. You aren’t even going to attempt to shush him. “The heartache of loss. So many losses, Y/N. How was I fit to be King when I could not protect my own people from Thanos? How I couldn’t protect-“ He chokes on his words and grips your hips tighter, but you don’t need to ask him what he’s talking about.

He’s talking about you. How he sent you back to Earth with the Hulk so you wouldn’t be a target of Thanos cruelty. It was enough having to watch Loki asphixiate right in front of him and be restrained by his metal prison, but to see the Mad Titan lay eyes on you?

It was too much to bear, thinking of your death at his own hands. So he entrusted you to Bruce, and the last thing Thor heard before the Bifrost took you to Earth was your petrified scream of his name.

“Hey, Strongest Avenger. Look at me.” The nickname makes his chest rumble with soft laughter as he lifts his head to meet your gaze. It’s so strange not looking into two of the brightest blue eyes you’ve ever set yours on - but the heterochromia thing suits him. “Give me your hand.”

“I don’t see the purpose-“

“Because I’m the oh-so-perfect love of your life. Now give me your hand.” He does so without hesitation, eyes focusing on your movements as you spread his fingers across your torso in a manner deliberate enough that he’ll feel your heartbeat beneath them. “This is a heart that has solely beat for you since the moment we first locked eyes.”

The breath catches in Thor’s throat as he realizes what you’re doing. “Y/N.”

“I need you to hear me, Thor. I need you.. I am desperate, after all of this, for you to know what I haven’t told you. What I should’ve told you long before Asgard’s demise.” He ushers you forward with a soft nod and swipes his thumb across the curve of your lips as he begins tracing your face. “What happened to your home was not your fault.”

You can see the cracks forming in his stoic facade. That handsome, devilish expression he often wears is no longer there - but is instead stoic in a vain attempt to hide the tears forming in the back of his eyes.

“What happened to Loki and Heimdall, to the ones who lost their lives at Thanos hands.. that was not on you.”

That memory is seared into his brain until his death. One of loss and heartache, bloodshed and darkness. He still remembers screaming as his brothers body was tossed across the ship, as Heimdall died before his eyes. Two more he couldn’t save. Two people who should have survived.

“And your mother?” That’s what does him in. “I can’t imagine a life where Frigga isn’t proud of the man you are, Thor. I loved her simply because of how much she loved you.” You jab a single finger into his torso and manage a smile as he wipes tears from his face, but remains silent.” You are the only man I will ever chase with reckless abandon. The only one I can love unconditionally, and the only one of the Avengers fit to wear a crown of the King. And the best part? I will love you until the end of time. Until the end of me.”

A moment of silence passes as Thor attempts to grasp ahold of reality. Your eyes never leave his face the entirety of the time, gentle fingers still toying with his hair as his breathing begins again in even strokes and he finally manages to meet your gaze again.

“I love you.” Despite the length of time you’ve been together, not once has Thor verbally declared how he feels. He’s never had to because he always did it in his touch, in his kiss, in the way he looked at you. So to hear it from his mouth sends your heart into a tizzy, and this time it’s your turn to cry. “My flower, all the Gods cannot begin to comprehend my love for you. Even after all this time,” He swallows your sobs with a kiss so warm that it makes your toes curl. “I still believe you were solely created for me. Forged from the brightest star, set apart for the God of Thunder-“

“Don’t forget that bit of sparkle, hotshot.” The snark behind your words sends laughter echoing through the room, and you thank whatever-god-that-isn’t-your-boyfriend that it is still such a wonderful sound to hear. “And just for the record, I love you too.”

Thor emerges from his room more frequently. He smiles more in the presence of the other Avengers, banters about who’s more powerful with Carol Danvers, the newest addition to the team. And he declares his love for you in some of the grandest gestures you’ve ever seen in your life. Sky writing, burning your ship name (courtesy of Tony) into the grass outside the compound. You name it, he’s done it.

There’s two weddings that take place that year, and Thor wears his wedding band proudly. You are a Queen fit for a King, after all.

#thor odinson x reader #thor x reader #thor x y/n #thor x you #thor odinson x you #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagines #marvel oneshots

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 100 Poll Results

The chapter 100 poll closed with 1,915 responses. When we compiled the write in comments, they filled a 65 page word document. Since we can only share a fraction of those, we are linking to the document so it can be viewed in entirety.

Thank you to everyone who participated.

  RATE THE CHAPTER 1,869 Responses

Close to 60% of the fandom gave this chapter the highest mark possible while those disapproving were negligible. Still, those selecting “5” on this highly anticipated chapter were down more than 10% from last month. 

Can I have my white-and-black morality back, Isayama? Please?

this manga has successfully crushed my moral beliefs into rubble and I don't know how to feel about it

I hadn't felt dead inside like this after reading a chapter since chapter 84.

I really like the interaction with Eren and Reiner. Reiner’s breakdown felt so real and honest and Isayama really conveyed that he was suffering .

I'm disappointed, I expected great things of this chapter. Isayama really tends to unnecessarily lenghten scenes that don't need to be. You'd think he would've learned about pacing by now. I guess the real shit will go down next chapter... hopefully.

If feels as though we're finally getting somewhere but I'm not sure I like where we're getting

It definitely lives up to the large expectations from being the 100th chapter

It is clear to me that this chapter was meant to tease us with the very beginning of the fight that is to come and it's quite sad that a part of the fandom fails to see that. We were purposefully given too few information or images to make conclusions of. Any possibility (almost everything included in this poll) seems likely at this point.

It was so close for another Marcel Flashback but mystery still endures. Dissapointent!

One hell of a milestone chapter. Isayama truly delivered.

the anime better knock this one out of the park in 2000 years lmao

January pls

  WHAT WAS THE MOST POWERFUL PART OF THE CHAPTER? 1,880 Responses

For the most powerful moment, “Eren’s titan transformation” takes a quarter of the vote, followed by “All of the above.” Reiner begging for Eren to kill him and “Attack on Willy“ round out the top four.

 "Did I say that? Please, forget I said that."

after watching the same scenarios over and over, i'd say to  finally see someone taking responsibilities of their actions: magath and will being conscious of the fact they are getting their hands dirty

Eren and his Freakish Toes

Eren's glare just before he transformed. And his flowing hair, are you sure he's not modelling for L'Oreal right now?!

For me, it was Eren's expressions throughout the chapter. Especially when he reacted to Willy's words.

Reiner. GET IT TOGETHER. Not the time, not the place, not the person you should be begging. But if you kept Falco alive and will fight for your fellow Eldians in the ghetto next chapter we're good.

ok but is there sour cream in marley?

  WHAT WAS THE MOST INTERESTING NEW INFORMATION 1,866 Responses

The walls being named for Ymir Fritz’s daughters and Willy knowingly being set up as a martyr were nearly tied for “most interesting new information”. And you people are honestly freaks because Duck Shaped Potties came in third.

  ISAYAMA DELIVERED ON THE BODY HORROR THIS CHAPTER. WHAT PART GROSSED YOU OUT THE MOST? 1,870 Responses

Carrot toes win by a landslide--and also made for the best write-in comments!

Dem Toes Be FREAKY

Don't regrow limbs anymore, please

Eren's foot regenerating is more gross than all the deaths in Attack on Titan I've ever seen. I hope he never does that again tbh.

Thank you for mentioning my "little baby carrots"

Everyone's complaining about the body horror, but I'm upset that Isayama held back on having Eren regenerate his left eyeball. Might've looked similar to Reiner when his head blew off, except with beautiful, long flowing hair.

the foot flower just (shudders).

as I try to gather my overwhelming amount of thoughts on this boy, and despite those gnarly baby toe sprouts close to ready for harvest, I will glorify those chiseled calves of a god.

THANKS MOM I CAN'T EAT BABY CARROTS EVER AGAIN

  ON A SCALE OF “YOU CAN STAY RIGHT THERE CRYING ON THE FLOOR” TO “I WILL HOLD YOU AND NEVER EVER LET YOU GO,” HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT TO HUG REINER AFTER THIS CHAPTER? 1,880 Responses

When I compare this to the chapter 93 poll where 21% had little to no sympathy for Reiner, 18% were non-committal, and the remaining 60% felt strongly about him, it appears that seven months later those numbers have remained constant. People either like Reiner or they don’t, and no amount of effort on Isayama’s (or the poll co-creator's) part is going to change that.

I would steal all the stars in the sky so that Reiner can be happy I sWeAr 

Never flipped opinion on a character faster than when we started seeing Reiner in Marley

Still finding it hard to care what happens to any of these characters.  Apart from Reiner.  He needs a hug, a strong drink and a long vacation.

I feel sorry for Reiner but I kinda got desensitized after watching him suffer so many times. He almost beats Levi in the worst life ever competition. I feel exhausted just thinking his life and suffering will continue... I can barely feel any sadness for him anymore, I think he should probably get his final rest soon.

A lot of Reiner's flaws get overlooked lately because readers pity him. His selfishness led a lot of people to their deaths and even though he regrets it now it is too late and he deserves that suffering as karma. Other characters had it much worse and they didn't deserve that suffering (ie Eren) while Reiner brought it upon himself with his own choices. He should have listened to Bertholdt and Annie and stopped the mission after Marcel's death but he even threatened them to continue multiple times.

Reiner baby deserves all the good in this world. Isayama please give the boy a little bit of peace!!

  HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU CRIED ABOUT REINER’S HORRIBLE LIFE IN THIS ARC? 1,881 Responses

While the majority have not metaphorically or otherwise shed tears for Reiner, 55.2% of the fandom have been touched by his story and for almost 30%, it’s been extreme.

I'm crying all day thinking about my sad Reiner ;-; he just want to disappear from the world. I want to hug him.

I have never loved a character quite like I love Reiner. Watching him break in front of Eren has been heart-wrenching. He wants judgement for his crimes, to help abate some of the guilt he feels so heavily… And Eren’s the only person that seems to understand him completely. I know Reiner isn’t long for this world anyway with the curse of Ymir, but I’m still holding out hope that before he dies he has a moment of peace and satisfaction.

  HAS EREN MADE YOU CRY IN THIS ARC? 1,883 Responses

We felt like it was only fair to include this even though Eren hasn’t been presented as emotionally as Reiner in this arc. As a bonus, it allowed for us to acknowledge the two groups who were most vocal in the write-ins--the 18% who find Eren hot, and the 8% who are angry with him.

Eren has never been one of my favorites, but he's been breaking my heart almost as bad as Reiner in the past few chapters. He's come so far, and not really in a good way. If he's lost all hope, the relentless freedom chaser, we're heading for a truly dark end.

I'm sick of him.  I'm sick of his anger, I'm sick of his angst, I'm sick of his selfishness, and I'm sick of watching teenagers struggle.  Please bring my adult vets back.

I never thought that Eren would ever become close to sympathetic.

I cried my heart out when he told Reiner he understood him, his development just blew me away, I am so proud of this boy I want to cry again now. Let's wait till we understand his plan to pass any judgement over what he did.

  Since this is the 100th chapter of SNK, let’s take a moment to appreciate the improvement that Isayama’s art has undergone, specifically his character art and expressions. The fandom at large has been quite vocal on the attractiveness of the characters after the timeskip ...so, in your opinion,

WHICH PICTURE OF REINER IS THE MOST HANDSOME (OR THAT YOU LIKE THE BEST)? 1,869 Responses

With so many handsome Reiners to choose from, I wish I could convey the agony my poll co-creator had in selecting these six images. The elimination process was intense and whether to include the booty pic probaby took years off her life.

As she’d predicted, Happy Daddy Reiner was declared most handsome! His full face was number two, and the last minute inclusion of the booty pic resulted in our number three.

Isayama will achieve perfection on drawing Reiner's asscrack showing through his clothes soon.

"Of course i’d pick the booty pic of Reiner. It’s not Erwin’s but with a little 👏🏼🌈Imaaaaagination👏🏼🌈 anything can be Erwin.

Roses are red, Reiner is handsome, SnK fanbase Is mostly awesome.

AND WHICH OF EREN? 1,851 Responses

There was no way Eren’s Loréal Paradis wasn’t going to win this. Eren’s soft smile after Willy’s declaration of war was second.

THAT FLOWING HAIR DAMNNNN SON

This homeless look is working for him

Eren  has beautiful hair.

The panel where Eren is about to transform and Reiner looks at Falco in fear is the most badass panel in a long time. I could FEEL the YouSeeBigGirl sires just from looking at Eren's eyed in the panel

Eren, my ovaries are ready.

Eren's always been hot, I dunno why y'all think he's only been hot now, keep up! ;)

Damn we went from him being some courageous hot piece of ass to him being an older, smarter, and even hotter piece of ass even if he might be a bit emotionless

He's definitely Hobo Daddy™

  EREN’S ATTACK ON WILLY AND HIS CONVERSATION WITH REINER HAVE THE FANDOM DIVIDED. HOW WOULD YOU RATE HIS MORALITY ON A SCALE FROM “GENOCIDAL KILLER” TO “TOTALLY JUSTIFIED” 1,881 Responses

Eren’s morality continues to be a point of contention in many discussions about the chapter, though a majority 83% find Eren’s actions morally neutral to justified. However, the write-ins in the following sections show a huge variation in opinions, with many being quite harsh on either end. Needless to say, everyone has something to say about Eren!

I don't think his actions are justified, but people calling him "genocidal killer" as he wanted to kill Falco and Reiner and all these people is quite idiot, i mean i didn't see any satisfaction on his eyes, while doing what he did. Just a " i need to do this, even if it is going to kill you"... This isn't  a intent of kill... to me is his determination to get his freedom. 

Someone, anyone, punch him for me, please.

I've seen how divided people are on Eren's behavior and his true motives, but I think we should all agree that Eren has grown out of the purely revenge-seeking hothead who constantly demonized his enemies. He now understands that they're all only human, but nonetheless he must do what needs to be done to save his people. I don't know at this point if Eren and Reiner will ever be on the same terms, but here's hoping they can all find forgiveness in the end.

Genocidal Bastard..still justified

He's a war criminal. Seriously, look it up.

Frankly, all this pearl clutching about how "evil" Eren is, is ridiculous, and just shows the willingness of certain part of the fandom to dunk on Eren at the drop of a hat. We don’t have the full contest of this scene yet, we don’t even know what Eren is trying to do, or why, we don’t even know with whom he is coordinating, but we know that he’s evil? Even when it’s been 2 chapters that Isayama is been hammering that Eren isn’t revenge obsessed anymore? But well, obviously that’s clearly Isayama’s intention, to toss out 24 vols. of character development for a cheap twist.

I think there's a reason behind what he's doing that is not even a little bit fueled by pure revenge.

I trust him. Something something greater good.

Still love him, he's my boi. Also this is a manga about war; there is no right or wrong. I think people forget that when pointing fingers at Eren for his actions. I highly doubt this was Eren's plan to begin with.

Eren did nothing wrong.

However justified Eren was or was not, innocent blood has been spilled due to his own actions, so whatever morale high ground Eren had is now gone.

He is a murder, plain and simple.

Feels like isayama's trying to make us believe that Eren is suddenly a bad guy. I ain't buying it.

I was rooting for you. WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU! HOW DARE U?! T_T

I'm so disapointed in him. I am forever the believier that things can be done diplomatically and he just fucked that up and killed a bunch of people. I get why he did it, doesn't mean I'm not super disappointed.

The chapter justifies my feelings towards Eren for months now. Glad some readers are starting to see him in a more realistic, less idealized light. He had civilians killed back in Stohess, remember.

  WAS EREN BEING SINCERE WITH REINER WHEN HE SAID HE UNDERSTOOD HIM? 1,880 Responses

I do think that Eren meant the things he said in response and maybe even forgave him, but apparently regardless of his personal feelings, he's trying to do something very specific, granted the margin of whatever extra casualties there are. 

It seems like he still has this good core, but this story is highlighting that 'good' is relative. I thought he was quite sincere talking to Reiner, and Reiner's sincerity in return made me change my opinion of him (and I've hated him for ages).

It was so gratifying to see him say he understands Reiner and the other warriors finally. I've needed this understanding for so long. I'm so happy! Maybe it wasn't wholly sincere, but Eren's finally made the connection that Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie were just kids too, that they were fed information and forced into doing something they didn't necessarily want to. He finally understands how similar they all are; how screwed they all were from the start. And I'm just really happy that he's finally reached that point.

  DO YOU BELIEVE THAT EREN INTENDED FOR REINER AND FALCO TO DIE IN THE BASEMENT? 1,878 Responses

Pretty sure he's protecting Reiner and Falco. He made contact with Reiner before the transformation. I don't know why he'd shake his hand before transforming. That would make for a very odd titan transformation. Either that, or he purposely crushed him as he transformed. But I doubt it, this chapter was about Eren gauging Reiner's alignment, imo.

Eren better not have intended to kill Falco

I believe he probably used some hardening to save Falco and Reiner in the basement, or somehow made it so that Reiner was able to save Falco. I definitely believe they're alive and well. I'd like to draw attention to the last panel of the manga, where it shows Eren's titan hands LITERALLY covered in blood. Emphasized, I believe, because Isayama is a master in symbolism and meaning.

I actually really like his eerily-calm demeanour. But I'll be so upset if he killed Reiner and Falco.

I really can't wrap my head around Eren killing Falco and I don't believe he did, its so unlike him. The whole events leading up to the transformation was beyond peculiar with Reiner snatching his hand back and looking horrified at Falco just before Eren transforms. I swear for some moments I was getting Grisha vibes from Eren and his Titan form.

I really hope Reiner has protected Falco, because he has survived worse things.

My personal belief so far is that from the get go Eren intended on using his hardening abilities to shield Reiner and Falco...with the plethora of parallels to the Reiss cave already in place, I dont think its too far fetched (or Im just in denial lmao)

Well he's clearly not fucking around. FWIW, I still think he did something to prevent Reiner/Falco from being instakilled

  IS EREN WORKING WITH THE PARADISIANS OR APART FROM THEM? 1,877 Responses

Despite not seeing any other member of the Survey Corps, the vast majority of respondents still believe Eren is not working independently.

  DO YOU BELIEVE EREN’S LETTER WAS ADDRESSED TO ZEKE? 1,867 Responses

We first asked this question with chapter 98. At the time 86% believed Zeke was the recipient of Eren’s letter. That number is now down to 61%. I suspect the use of the word “comrade” has dissuaded  some people.   DO YOU BELIEVE ZEKE AND EREN ARE WORKING TOGETHER? 1,874 Responses

This question was also asked with chapter 98. the number of people who believe in an Eren/Zeke alliance have only fractionally changed.

I'm glad we finally got some clarity regarding who is on what side, even though Zeke is still  a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma. I feel like Zeke is playing both sides of the fence, but also has his own little plan going and might doublecross everyone in the end.

He had inside info. Had to be Zeke

So Trapdoor-kun told Zeke to go in the front door yet here we see him still walking around the streets. Very suspicious and makes me believe the theory that he's working with Eren/Paradis Crew

Anyone considered the possibility that it might be Colt who's in touch with Eren and not Zeke? After all, he's played baseball too, and he's related to a deceased Eldian Restorationist.

  ANY OTHER THOUGHTS ON EREN THIS CHAPTER? 626 Responses

He is clearly in his grunge/alternative-rock phase and just want to show to the world that he is edgy af. We've all been there.

I try very hard not to think about Eren at all tbh.

HOT DAMN EREN. Not too sure what I love the most! His looks of his growth as a character. This new Eren is a blessing. For better of for worse, we can all agree that Eren's change is amazing. Can't wait to see more of him!

baby's all grown up and meeting DSM-5 criteria for like seven different psychiatric diagnoses

Never liked Eren. Am a fan now. Give me a problematic murder boi and I’m fucking in.

He's certainly matured, not prone to regular angry outbursts like when he was 15. Now Eren is extremely controlled, the master of making grown men cry and his angry outburst is busting through a building in Titan form!

I loved seeing how much Eren has grown up. He's a far cry from the angry young boy he was at the start of the series. But on a final note, I think this chapter may be the one that finally sold me on this arc. I'm really enjoying seeing the (sometimes vastly) different political and moral motivations for the various (new and old) characters!

Had no choice after Willy’s declaration of war.

The willingness to sacrifice the lives of innocents is nothing new for the sc (see: armin's comment during the uprising) regardless of your feelings on its morality. Eren appears to have grown enough to accept that sometimes its necessary for whatever greater plan he (and the sc?) have right now. But the idea that eren wants to kill these innocent people or is still just out for revenge goes against all the development of his perspective that we see in his conversation with Reiner (which I believe is genuine). And there's no indication that he sees all marleyans as the enemy that must be destroyed. So Eren''s actions sit right in the moral ambiguity zone that isa is so fond of, but we can't say he's just some angry murderous genocidal kid (especially since we don't know anything about Paradis's full plan)

I understand his hate towards the country that made hell of his life (and of his beloved ones' libes too), but continuing this cyrcle of violence isn't the right solution. This isn't what the Scouts had died for, so I'm really hoping he isn't working with them anymore because it'd be an insult to all their efforts.

I was hoping he wouldn't take this route, but I don't think I can blame him for choosing it.

Initially I was torn about his decision, I didn't see it coming and didn't think it matched what he had been saying the past few chapters. But, this is war, and he must protect his loved ones. So I've come around to accept it. Oh, and that panel with his hair going up before he transformed is EPIC.

Is Eren playing the game, or is he still a pawn? He still has anger issues but I hope he has just learned to use them productivity.

I will admit he has matured since we last saw him as a teenager, but I believe he has turned that rage on the outside into something awful and gut-wrenching on the inside. He manipulated Falco and basically mentally tortured Reiner. The man may have matured... But he is not sane.

I'm conflicted, I was hoping he had a more elaborate plan than "kill 'em" after his speech to Reiner.

I’m gonna be honest here and say that eren has been one of my least favorite characters since I joined this fandom. I just saw him as this annoying, stupid, revenge-fueled kid. but suddenly he’s kinda started growing on me. we’ll see where this goes...

I'm impressed with his maturity and hope we get to see more of the backstory to his growth.

I'm very disappointed. I loved Eren.

I'm yours, Eren. All yours.

I'm sad he can't grow a beard

Sad that he has to keep compromising his humanity in order to save his people but also kinda proud of how much he has grown up.

I find it sad, and yet a sign of maturity, that he carries out the Attack on Willy out of perceived need to do so rather than desire.

It wish things would've turned out different. You can tell Erem is hurting just as much as Reiner. None of them are villains in my opinion

Please after this attack let Eren cut his god damn hair I CAN'T take looking at that hobo hair anymore IT ONLY LOOKS GOOD IN CERTAIN ANGLES I WILL EVEN TAKE HIS EMO MULLET FROM CHAPTER 90 JUST GET RID OF THAT HAIR AND THAT FACIAL HAIR TOO IT DOESNT LOOK RIGHT!

Step on me, Eren? Does that count?

Eren over the past few chapters has been incredibly interesting to me. For a character I found annoying from the start, made peace with, and then utterly disliked after the serum bowl, it’s been wonderful to find something else to latch onto for his character. I love this cold fire he has. He’s become an emotionally broken man who has shaken morality, turned into something he hates. The parallels between him and Reiner are honestly genius, and I love Isayama for giving us such nuanced and complicated characters in Eren and Reiner.

We love and appreciate Eren in this house.

What an incredible progression for this young man who started out as an unbearable kid with anger-management issues. I'm loving the new Eren to be quite honest. Plus he's hot.

the old eren definitely can't come to the phone

You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villian.

  ANY BETS ON WHETHER REINER AND FALCO SURVIVED THE BLAST FROM EREN’S TRANSFORMATION? 1,875 Responses

A majority vote think that both Reiner and Falco will survive to see 101 (and god I hope we’re right).

I honestly hope Reiner protected Falco from the blast of Wren's transformation, I truly feel while deep down inside he hates himself - he couldn't stand to see another person, let alone a kid, get killed. So I hope for the best for the Warriors and the Warrior Cadets.

Honestly, I think Reiner's plot armor is too thick for him to die, not sure about Falco tho.

I really hope Eren's and Reiner's handshake was some magic bamboozle shit to protect Reiner and Falco. Please be alive boys :'(

Set-up for Reiner holding Falco's broken body next chapter.

  DO YOU THINK WILLY REALLY IS THE WARHAMMER TITAN? 1,874 Responses

I highly doubt that Willy is the Warhammer Titan tbh. It just- doesn’t seem right? The commander that was talking to Willy at the beginning of the chapter (forgot his name oops) probably is since he’s shown sympathy towards the Eldians and also laid out 99% of the strategy to Willy. So Willy may be a decoy with who truly owns the power.

Villi himself said he saw the memories of Warhammer Titan so this kinda confirms he is, but maybe he was used as a vait bc warhammer titan is too powerful to risk and he was a puppet. Who knows!

Tall Guard is Warhammer Titan

Kiyomi is the Warhammer Titan

Warhammer titan doesn't exist.

The real War Hammer Titan is the friends we made along the way

  DO YOU THINK WILLY IS DEAD? 1,872 Responses

 Willy is an interestingly captivating character. A man who is full of self hatred and doubt, who tries to make the best of his bad situation, who also ends up sacrificing his own life to be taken seriously. Wow. Not saying he's a good person, but he's mighty interesting. Or, "was". Thanks, ERIN.

Honestly, I feel angry about Willy's death. Well, not sure if he is dead but probably he is or will be. I feel he was not 100% bad person, he had a lot of feelings and emotions inside. When he was crying while saying he didn't want to die, I felt that he was telling it to Eren. Willy was one of the characters I liked and I wanted him to cooperate with SC. Seeing him killed pissed me off really a lot. Does Isayama really MUST kill all my fav characters? Maybe he feels pleasure of killing good-written chars and leaving the most plain ones and the ones I don't give a crap about.

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPEFUL FOR IN CHAPTER 101? 1,870 Responses

1,070 (57.2%) The Survey Corp. Finally!

1,038 (55.5%) What game is Zeke playing?

964 (51.6%) Finding out Eren’s ultimate goal

875 (46.8%) Trapdoor-kun’s identity is revealed

791 (42.3%) ANNIE

654 (35%)  LEVI

581 (31.1%) More Grim reminder

424 (22.7%) More on Lady Kyomi

348 (18.6%) More Reiner suffering

327 (17.5%) Porco and Pieck use the potty

324 (17.3%) Reiner is saved from the purgatory that is his life

309 (16.5%) Armored Titan vs Attack Titan

267 (14.3%)  Flashback of Marcel being eaten

243 (13%) Porco and Pieck are rescued

199 (10.6%) Karina dies

164 (8.8%) Willy survives

Everyone is still looking out for the survey corp to return, followed closely by working out allegiances and identities of several key players. Isayama keeps the mystery going for another chapter.

if 101 doesnt open with the grim reminder narration Im suing isayama

How will Porco and Pieck have any privacy while using the 'duck'? GUYS PLEASE, STOP WITH YOUR STUPID WAR THEORIES AND GET TO THIS IMPORTANT ISSUE

I honestly just want Ponytail Armin to happen by 105.  That is all.

I just want Reiner to have survived, he could do so much good given the chance.

Honestly I'm dissapointed that we didn't get to see the Paradis cast in this chapter.

Flashback of marcel's death  from the perspective of every atom present at the time

Kiyomi drinking wine with smirk in Cersei style watching the chaos in Liberio

Carla using the P A T H S to tell his son to fucking chill

Reiner to have some closure on Bert's death

Surprise! Ymir flashback.

  HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT TO RETURN TO THE ORIGINAL CAST ON PARADIS? 1,871 Responses

With so much Eren in this chapter, there’s still a good amount of thirst to see the Paradis cast! Of those who chose option 5, we’re down from 38.1% last month to 35.9%, but you wouldn’t be able to tell that from the amount of write-ins we received begging for certain characters to return!

I really have a problem with the ask "How baldy do you want to return to the original cast on paradis?" because i highly suspect that the original cast is in marley but also want to return to their pov so badly! What should i answer? 

Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts.

  WHICH CHARACTERS DO YOU GENERALLY ENJOY THE MOST 1,881 Responses

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES 1,848 Responses

ANY OTHER CHAPTER THOUGHTS YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE? 292 Responses

*insert the most epic of Sawano tracks*

Woke AF. Adopting other shifter personality traits (scratching his ear like Zeke) possibly because PATHS?

"I will just keep moving forward until my enemies are destroyed" I dread the meaning behind this line because if "destroying his enemies" is like what happened to Willy then Eren is going down a very dangerous road.

*breaths in* *exhales* BOI

SO GLAD THAT I WON BINGO ON GRIM REMINDER 2.0. Thank you Isayama for the craziest ride to chapter 100! It's been fun, frightening, saddening and honestly, the best thing that has ever happened in my life. It's thanks to Isayama that I met so many amazing friends and experienced so many emotions that only he could ever create. I've been reading since chapter 49, and I will continue until the end.

I really miss Levi and Erwin.  Seeing them in the fake preview from the new volume brought tears to my eyes... it was so nice to see Erwin so peaceful and calm.  Part of me is glad that he's not seeing this shitshow, but I get the feeling that he would have come up with a better plan for dealing with the Tyburs than EREN SMASH! EREN ANGRY >:E

Man. Chapter 100. SnK has come a loooong way

Marley arc and especially this chapter have been a blessing so far, loving every second of it. I hope this arc will continue as is, seeing how well written it seems to be already. May the suffering of Reigner continue

If Annie dies off screen (aka gets Ymir'd) I will be indescribably upset

If Annie is now a comrade of the Paradis people after Eren successing on freeing her, I'm going to eat my pants for breakfast.

Is it me or does the Attack Titan looks a bit different (bulkier/bigger?)

Isayama and his brilliant parallels

Isayama hear my call please show me Hange Zoe I just need her back I need to see her again

Kudos to Isayama for being able to keep this story so engaging.

Magath reminds me a lot of Keith Shadis. He knows that he has sent so many people to death, regrets lots of things, and has started to think differently. He could be an interesting "boss", since some of us always expected Keith to be "bad".

Porco and Pieck are going to be in that pit long enough they're gonna need that little training potty. D:

When Eren cited Marley indoctrination following the word "but" on pg. 26, it told me unambiguously Eren admitted RBA & Warriors are more justified than he since he made a note of that difference. Funny how much of the fandom believed Marley Warriors cannot be justified, forgiven, etc., at all until Eren says 'me, too.' Then suddenly, "Eren's justified! He's just doing an job now!" sans RBA's tremendous guilt, esp. Bert & Reiner's.

IMAGINE FALCO TRYING TO WAKE UP THE IMPALED REINER THEN RUNNING OFF TO SAEV GABI THEN REINER REMENISING AND THINKING ABOUT WHAT EREN'S GONNA DO TO THE PEOPLE HE LOVES AND GOING "I'LL EXTERMINATE THEM, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM" THEN TRANSFORM THEN PUNCH EREN IN THE FACE.

Really epic okay, still left me with a bit of bitterness because it showed how Eren isn't changed in better but only believes in violence. It is madness and cruelty with no end. How sad

Reiner being the main character is the best thing in this manga. Porco migh sacrifice himself to save Reiner from Eren during their titan fight after getting more of his memories back (Eren eats Porco). Enraged, Reiner finally manages to get the advantage over Eren and eats Eren. Thus, Reiner succeeds in having 4 of the shifter powers in his control. Eventually Reiner will seek his own path separate from Paradise and the World itself.

That duck shaped potty thing, what the actual heck??? Is that what that was??? Anywho, this chapter had an interesting moment after Reiner's explanations of his actions. That alongside Willy's desire to live were the most powerful points in the chapter.... The panel where he begins to transform, he has a look of enhanced determination as opposed to desire to snap the olive branch. That in context to the whole conversation, it just makes it seem unlikely. But then, this is SNK. We'll see what happens.

The Guy with the newspaper who is he ?

The illustration in those last few pages was AMAZING. Maybe the best panels I've seen in the manga.

The way Eren listened to Willy's speech and was reconsidering his actions because of the line "I was born in this world" but then closing his eyes and accepting what he had to do after the declaration was chilling.

The whole thing got complicated all of a sudden. I still can't believe Paradis elaborated complex navigation in 3 years. We don't kniw what happened there, but no way they're on par with Marley. Who the hell is this trapdoor guy?

This chapter is THE bomb. It made me cry and smile like crazy. Isayama sure knows what he's doing. Can't wait for 101.

Even though i love the chapter, my issue is still same. Pacing is so slow! I felt this even more at the end of the chapter. Villi screaming "They're only Eldians!" to Magath was totally sick. Also Eren's crazy smile when he shaked hands with reiner..... damn it. I know reiner is fine and well, but i am scared for falco and rest.....

This chapter was amazing from a thematic and character standpoint. I hope that now that the action is beginning we'll get to see trapdoor-kun's identity and the rest of the sc soon.

This chapter was amazing. The way the chapter ended left me (once again) shaking in my seat. Isayama knows how to write his manga, kudos to him!

This chapter was the climax of Reiner and Eren's latest developments, I can tell the story is gonna kick into overdrive soon, and I can't wait.

This is a story about war, there will be lines crossed and sacrifices made. I learned not to label characters and their actions so carelessly without trying to put myself in their shoes or at least try to decipher what caused/pushed them to act as such. So to see other readers so ready to condemn Eren (and the rest of the walldians) as evil is ridiculous - especially after reading the tribulations Eren and the rest has gone through. I do not and will condone or support his actions if he does cause collateral damage, but at this point I'm just going to be on the neutral and observe how this story will unravel. With how things are going, I think...in the end, no one will get a decent happy ending here...perhaps some fool's hope.

This is a long poll

(You’re telling me!!!!)

    Since the third Bessatsu Shonen popularity poll was released along with this chapter, we thought we'd ask your opinion...

WHAT BEST MATCHES YOUR THOUGHTS ON ERWIN BEING THE WINNER? 1,786 Responses

32.3% of you are my people and an additional 42.2% are welcome to eat at my table. There was lots of love for Erwin here, but Kasch and I were both a little surprised at amount of salt. I read it. I’m not including it. (And some of ya'll trashed my guy and added your names 😱 )

Look at this smart person:

Lol i'm not trashing Erwin on fucking momtaku's poll I'm not dumb or a jackass

Thank you for not being dumb or a jackass 👍!

Happily, there were some really great, smart, funny and probably beautiful people who smell nice and have lots of friends who included comments about Erwin’s win:

Erwins a great character and a handsy boy. He totally deserves it haha xD Rip Commander Eyebrows

He deserved it and I love Levi's expression that both asks his fans why they let him down but is also so proud and happy for Erwin!

He deserves it but his massive lead over Levi is surprising. Season 2 still fresh in people's minds, I suppose.

his eyebrows should have been #1

While Erwin deserves it his top place was probably a last homage from the fans. I found it strange that the poll numbers were so low compared to the other polls tho!

I'm guessing he won because of how cool and what a great leader he was this season in the anime and also from the manga readers still being bitter and enraged by the serum bowl? Erwin is definitely in top 10 interesting characters for me.

And a few more comments worth including:

Actually, I'm not even mad, I'm amazed that 2 dead people have the first and last positions....

I loved that fans were rabid enough to vote for a dude who died last year. If nothing else, that's some mighty fine trolling.

ARE YOU GENERALLY HAPPY WITH THE TOP 10? 1,813 Responses

A poll with only 6000 votes is not considerable neither representative of the fandom reality

At least it wasn't Levi.

Hanji Zoe deserves 1st place smh

Bertholt and mikasa are tie fighters now?

I wish that Ymir or Historia at least made it into the Top 10.

ANNIE WASN'T ON THE TOP 10, WTF, THIS IS A TRAGEDY

  AND LASTLY FOR MY POLL CO-CREATOR, BECAUSE SHE WON’T LET ME OUT OF THIS LOCKED BASEMENT ROOM UNLESS I INCLUDE THIS, HOW SAD ARE YOU THAT REINER IS 9TH? 1,766 Responses

Sincerely I think Reiner deserves the first place because his character has really shown emotional depth this chapters.

I'm upset! the guy is already dead. Reiner really deserve it this time

Suffering and begging for death in the manga, 9th in the popularity poll... it's okay, I still love you, Reiner ; _ ;

If you made it to the end of this, thank you! See you next month!

#snk polls #snk poll results #snk chapter 100 #snk 100 #snk poll

[frostbite883-archive]

Well, either of your ideas that you had written was already written before (albeit differently) by someone else a while back basically (out of the fact that I made questions similar to the ones I gave you which resulted in tumblr bloggers giving me different answers to them). 

gingerly-writing: to this ask I filled out for them. I’m pretty fucking pissed off, and I’ve had my fury checked out by uninvolved parties to make sure it was righteous. It’s righteous.

Me: Not entirely so.

gingerly-writing: First off, feel free not to send people rude-ass messages after they’ve put time and effort into coming up with a response to you? 

Me: The top comment there (the “Well, either of your ideas” comment) wasn’t really the rude comment I typed out. The other one was (which I’m sorry for) which you didn’t copy paste in your third post so other bloggers can see it as that public evidence is vital for context.

gingerly-writing: Also, I thought you were going to use my idea and have me to thank you or something for it when I came up with something like my asks I gave you and something to the equivalent of your “heroes and villains school” stuff before I replied to your ask box sometime ago. Basically, wanting me to give you undeserved credit for my very own idea. I certainly didn’t know you were going to make comments like this either.

So, I actually have a hero and villain school in my own original superhero works, and I did come up with a solution to this one. If you’re writing your own original stuff, please change this up, but if you’re writing fic I don’t mind if you nick it wholesale (as long as you tag me in it! I’d love to read it).

Y’know, for me, this was just background information, but now I kind of want to write a whole book focusing on it.

gingerly-writing: It took me a good 45 minutes to get tumblr to accept my answer to your damn ask, so you’ve just made that a waste of my time.

Me: Maybe. But, from below, you were not bettering the situation.

gingerly-writing: Also, feel free to simply not respond rudely to people’s posts, at all, ever, especially if you were the one who sent the ask in the first place. I didn’t need to know how shit my ideas are, thanks.

Me: Yeah...not really sure where you’re going with this. Are you saying your ideas were horrible because they were based on my idea and how I spread more around on tumblr? Or do you think I’m saying your ideas were horrible because you think I’m somehow saying, implying or thinking that? 

Either why, that comment of yours was not helpful for anyone. Yourself included.

gingerly-writing: Also, as a more general PSA, feel free not to send identical asks to multiple bloggers. 

Me: Not happening. As I can sent any ask at any time by my own free will. As is my right.

gingerly-writing: Seeing someone else answer the same ask really disincentivizes me to answer it, even if it’s in my queue: I worry about stepping on the other responder’s feet, 

Me: Well, to be fair, I can understand the sentiment there. Still, what you say next will lower that sentiment.

and also, it’s motherfuckin rude, you absolute assclown. 

Me: Childish name calling. So...how is it you’re any better with what you had said. What would you benefit from doing that other then venting out your anger. ...Which ironically enough I didn’t even do here and wouldn’t now just so I won’t sink to your level of rudeness. 

gingerly-writing: And if you do send multiple asks and get similar responses, maybe it’s simply because it’s a good fucking idea. If you get different answers, maybe it’s because we’re all different fucking people with awesome different ideas that I’m not sure you deserve.

Me: You know what, I’ll be upfront, and say that I should have not jumped the gun and assumed the worse and could’ve worded my comments better (or just replied privately about the whole matter), you, on the other hand, didn’t do much of anything to resolve the situation as best as you should’ve. In the end, you basically became me. But a little worse.

gingerly-writing

: feel free to block me on the way out

Me: Already did. I’m hoping you don’t treat other bloggers the way you had treated me. Especially if they were nicely bringing up stuff to your attention among other things. And especially, even, in the ‘ginning once they asked you something.

gingerly-writing: #I try to be nice on this site #but I have my limits #and now I'm in rage mode #the asks and the answers #rude #ungrateful

Me: As if you were better with your own fair share of rudeness that might be on the level of hackedmotionsensors’. 

hackedmotionsensors: THIS PERSON IS SO WEIRD!! All they ever do is send these bizarre questions about the DCEU being in MCU!

Me:  Actually, that's not ALL I do. I asked other questions too. And my qs aren't as weird as any one else's either, hacked. Best to not go by assumptions and call people weird for what they say or do. Be it in front of their faces or behind their backs. Also, don't like me or my qs? Then either block me or just blacklist my name.

See ya...never, I guess.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here’s some context on what I was talking about on this post:

TumblrFrostbite: How would you want schools for villains' kids (for Marvel villains' kids, for DC villains' kids, etc) to be ran? And who would you want to run those schools?

gingerly-writing: This is one of those things that I’ve put way too much thought into after you sent this, because I love stuff like this. The question is, are the villains running this school for their kids, or is this something the heroes are putting on to try and rehabilitate the kids while their parents are in prison? I’ll assume the former, but the latter is also super interesting to me.

Disclaimer: this will have a strong DC bent because I have little to no interest in most Marvel villains, whereas I could yack on about DC villains for month. In fact, I might just stick to DC in its entirety because other than Loki (who would be the worst teacher ever, he would encourage so much shenanigans) most of the Marvel villains I know are Nazis or space monsters. Second disclaimer: I’ve watched a lot more animated DC movies and read a lot more fic than I ever have comics, soooooo these depictions might not be comic book accurate. Fanboys, please don’t come for me…but I also don’t really care that much tbh. I like the incarnations that I like. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Actual answer under the cut because this got hella long. Hope you like it!

Sponsor: Lex Luthor. Funds the school, shows up to speech day to give speeches and hand out prizes, gives the brightest and most stable kids scholarships to work at Lex Corp in the holidays. Absolutely 100% has his own ends, no one knows what they are. Chucks buckets of money at every problem. Likes to bring the school up at fancy soirees in front of Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen just to piss them off.

Headmaster: Deathstroke (or rather, Slade from Teen Titans). Has no idea how he wound up with this job, complains about the pay 24/7 even though it’s in the range of millions of dollars a term paid in untraceable cash from 50 different countries. Basically ends up like Gordon Ramsey: threatens to assassinate the teachers and parents all the time, has actually taken out some abusive parents, but is weirdly, gruffly nice to the younger kids. Teachers self-defence to all the non-powered kids and weapons to anyone who’s interested and has the discipline for it. Grudgingly tolerates old man jokes.

Deputy Headmistress: Talia al Ghul. Absolutely terrifies all the older kids, mothers the younger ones. In charge of who graduates and who doesn’t; will only let kids graduate if their villainy won’t critically endanger their own life. Sometimes shows up in the backs of random classes and lurks there for ‘assessments’; shows up in more than 50% of Deathstroke’s classes to harass him about his technique. Keeps a photo of Damien on her desk, refuses to acknowledge it’s there if someone asks about it.

Biology: Poison Ivy. Excellent teacher, surprises both herself and her students at how brilliant she is. Everyone wants to take biology with her even if they have no villainous interest in the subject. Litters her lectures with feminist rants, eco-warrior tirades and talks about LGBT+ rights, will gently but forcefully correct anyone who disagrees with her. Runs a vegetable outside the school and encourages the kids to get closer to nature. Just enough passing knowledge of memes to make her older students roll about with laughter: ‘Batman’s homophobic because he inconveniences me and I’m gay’. PDAs with her girlfriend in the corridors.

Women and gender studies: Harley Quinn Ivy’s girlfriend, part time teacher. Wanted to take up the psychology post, but after she seriously suggested sharing it with Jonathan Crane (Scarecrow) no one wanted to let her anywhere near it. Knows every meme. Gives great relationship advice, will kill anyone’s abusive boyfriend with no questions asked. Brings her hyenas to school in a ridiculously massive handbag. Has her own locker.

Thievery, sneaking around, Gotham safety: Catwoman. Definitely brings in her cats to act as therapy/comfort animals for the kids. Unofficial therapist; absolutely mothers anyone from Gotham, no exceptions. Brings the kids super expensive (stolen) jewellery to wear on prom night and for big dances, charges in secrets about their parents.

Business and Economics, with a side in mind control: Maxwell Lord (in the more business-orientated editions). Keeps to himself, is one of those teachers who doesn’t actually seem to like kids. Always wears a freshly pressed suit. Bit of an asshole. Selina tripped him down the stairs once.

Magic: supposedly taught by Felix Faust, but Klarion enrolled as a student just to show up in his lectures and argue. Every. Single. Point. Magic classes have turned into a magical war several times. They can only get along when someone else turns up claiming magic isn’t real. Faust has a lecture prepared for the non-believers, Klarion has a fireball. Circe often shows up in these classes, ‘borrows’ all the female students for private lessons and turns all the boys into pigs. Pig-Klarion does not appreciate this.

Physics and advanced thermodynamics: Killer Frost. Gets on really well with the Gotham City Sirens; they have cocktail parties in the staff lounge every second Thursday. Is paid by other villains kidnapping Firestorm so she can feed. Absolutely has favourite students and students she hates with a passion; has been known to freeze some students to their chairs in lieu of detention.

Other random villains that show up from time to time: - Flash’s Rogues Gallery. Created the infamous ‘Rogues week’ at the end of the year where every single one of them shows up and helps the students wreak absolute chaos across the school. Can never be stopped from showing up and starting this. Captain Cold comes grudgingly, sits in Slade’s office and has a drink with him; the rest of the Rogues join in with the chaos a bit too enthusiastically. Best week for the seniors. The younger rogues would totally be students and help to smuggle the older ones in for Rogues week.

- Black Manta: shows up sometimes, teaches a few lectures, leaves. Always on super random topics, often tangentially related to his latest evil scheme. The students have a betting pool that reawakens after each visit on how his talk will relate to his next scheme. Literally no one understands why he shows up. Doesn’t get paid, doesn’t seem to enjoy it. ?????? Has great on-land fashion sense though. A lot of the older students have lowkey crushes on him

- Cheetah takes advanced genetics and many other complex of aspects of science. Only shows up to teach special classes for the seniors. High fives Ivy in the corridors.

- Deadshot. Sometimes shows up and interrupts Deathstroke’s guns lessons (poor guy can never teach a lesson in peace), always gets chased out of the school. Gets teary eyed over the young female students kicking ass. Doesn’t seem to do anything useful but somehow gets paid a salary. Sleeps in the gym when he’s on the run from Amanda Wakker/Batman.

- Hugo Strange keeps showing up in disguises and trying to get the psychology job. Last time it was just a fake moustache. What is he even hoping to achieve.

- Merlyn shows up when he’s bored to host archery competitions on the front lawn. Mostly does this when Oliver Queen is in town. Keeps saying he’s going to pick a protégé out of the best archers and never does because the Arrow Clan kids annoy him so much he’s wound up thinking he hates kids. Actually loves kids, pretends to be snooty and above them though. 100% has to prove he’s still the best archer at every competition, even the one for 12 year olds.

TumblrFrostbite: If the super villain academy children, by the time they hit twenty, had to do some VERY impressive villainous in order to graduate, what type of villainous stuff would you have the rookies villains do to not only graduate, but also to be considered as full fledged villains?

gingerly-writing: So, I actually have a hero and villain school in my own original superhero works, and I did come up with a solution to this one. If you’re writing your own original stuff, please change this up, but if you’re writing fic I don’t mind if you nick it wholesale (as long as you tag me in it! I’d love to read it).

My thought was: all villains are going to be different, with different strengths and gifts. Sending them all to, I don’t know, infiltrate an island or fight Black Canary (which no one would win, let’s be honest) doesn’t seem fair on those it doesn’t suit. I was really struggling to come up with something that could work for everyone that didn’t force them to work in a team, because, well…villainous teams never work so well. Too many egos and whatnot.

My solution was: have the kids pick their own challenges. Make it their end of final year project. They submit a fully researched plan, all the way from the developmental stages to the final polished article. Plans like ‘killing Batman’ or ‘blowing up the planet’ are swiftly vetoed, but as long as they’re convincing enough the plan can get as elaborate and dangerous as they like. Half the marks come from the plan itself, and half for execution. Sometimes, my particularly vindictive kiddos make their plan to screw over their nemesis’ plan; I particularly enjoy when their plans are both to screw over each others’ plans. That gets entertaining.

They’re assigned a teacher whose knowledge base best fits with the plan the kid wants to execute, and they submit and resubmit and re-resubmit it to improve and refine their scheme until it’s as perfect as it’s going to get. Then, with no further outside help, they have to execute it.

This method lets you titivate the grand finale to best suit your plot needs. Your character has a serious nemesis? Pitch them against each other. Parental grudge? Make their aim to foil their parent’s plans. Hero that they hate? Plan to ruin their day. Plus, you can shove in bureaucratic nightmares and whatever other problems you can dream up (sabotage, indecision, dreams too grand to execute) into the planning stages.

I’m not sure you could do anything in a school situation to make the outside world consider them ‘real villains’: that would take time, money, and a body count, all things a school probably can’t afford to have on their books, villainous or not. But a huge, large-scale, dramatic graduating plan probably wouldn’t hurt any young villain’s rep!

Y’know, for me, this was just background information, but now I kind of want to write a whole book focusing on it. xx

#post #tumblr #matters

[theheavymetalmama]

Soooo...Jason Momoa told a little kid that Superman wasn't in Justice League because he was dead, DC is making a Superman Year One comic with Frank Miller as the author, they're making a two-part animated movie based on "the Death and Return of Superman," and rumors are flying around that Supergirl is going to be in Justice League. Oh, and the Justice League trailer dropped. Your thoughts?

That’s a lot to take it. Let’s start with the big one. New Justice League trailer!

Sorry guys, still don’t like it. Granted, it doesn’t look as bad as the previous trailer made it look, but it still looks massively underwhelming. Hell, the only character presented I even like is Wonder Woman, because she’s the only one who’s been established.

Well, established in a good movie, at least.

The rest consist of a Batman who belongs behind bars just as much as any of his villains and three other characters we’re meeting for the first time fighting a villain that nobody gives a shit about, which could be forgiven if the characters were interesting but again Batman’s an asshole and we don’t know anything about Aquaman, Flash, or Cyborg yet. And am I the only one who cringed at Cyborg’s line? Not the line itself, but the flat, robotic delivery. Good god, they took one of the most expressive and emotional live-wires in comic book history and turned him into Arnold from Terminator 2, but without the charm and charisma.

I’m also not looking forward the role the Amazons play, which appears to be them being in the movie for the sole purpose of Steppenwolf to kill/mop the floor with them. Yeah, take the place and characters everybody who watched Wonder Woman fell in love with and just wipe them off the face of the Earth in their second appearance. No way there’s going to be any backlash from that!

Honestly, I could write an essay’s worth of things in the trailer that irked me, but topping that list are these lines from Batman.

“Superman was a beacon for the world. He didn’t just save people, he made them see the best parts of themselves.”

Let’s forget for a moment that Superman has only been in two DCEU movies and you can count on one hand how many times he was shown in a heroic light. Let’s forget for a moment that Man of Steel and especially Batman v Superman spent more time hammering into audiences skulls that more people in this world are afraid of Superman than there are people who see him as a hero. And let’s forget for a moment that this Superman has spent more time feeling sorry for himself than he ever did being the symbol of hope the movies tried and failed miserably building him up to be.

Let’s instead take into account that these lines are coming from Batman. Oh yeah, Superman totally brought out the best in people. That’s why after the disaster in Metropolis, you took a deep breath, composed yourself, and reached out to him to see what he was really about before jumping to conclusions and-oh wait, no you didn’t, you obsessed over him for over a year and decided to straight-up murder his ass, you fucking hypocrite!

Seriously, what the fuck, WB? You spend two whole movies shitting on Superman, the people who love him, and his legacy, and now you’re trying to save face by saying that he brought out the best in people when you’ve only shown the BAD things that happened because he exists? Fuck off. No, seriously, fuck right off. You have to EARN that shit, which you fucking didn’t because you killed Superman before anybody could connect with him and threw the entirety of “The Death and Return of Superman” right under the bus in the last 20 minutes of a Batman movie! I honestly don’t know what’s worse. That Batman is being portrayed as a stupid and hypocritical murderous asshole, or that said stupid and hypocritical murderous asshole is leading the team that Superman is supposed to be the leader to!

Ugh, FUCK everything! But let’s move on, shall we? Frank Miller is writing Superman: Year One.

The very idea of Frank Miller writing any solo-Superman story makes my skin crawl. The fact that the same guy who turned Superman into Ronald Reagan’s personal attack dog who can’t read and raped Wonder Woman is retelling Superman’s origin story? Ugh. Just thinking about that makes me feel like I need to jump into a swimming pool filled with bleach and then get buried up to my neck in rock salt!

Let’s all just put aside that Frank Miller is a racist and misogynist scumbag who hasn’t written anything good since Robocop vs the Terminator. Let’s instead take into account that the man has been writing comic books for 40 years now and has written Superman several times, and every time he’s portrayed him as stupid, boorish, and incompetent while going out of his way to have Batman humiliate him in some way, shape, or form. Yes, I know, Miller has said that he actually likes Superman and only wrote him that way because the story was from Batman’s perspective and that he actually regrets writing him as a government tool, yeah, I don’t fucking believe him. He’s had dozens if not hundreds of opportunities to show Superman in a positive light and he’s never done it. He’s never done it before, so why would he now? The only time Superman has ever been portrayed with any semblance of who he actually is in a Frank Miller work was in Dark Knight III: the Master Race…you know, the one book in the series that Frank Miller didn’t write! Oh, but he wants to write part IV, so great, he’ll get to shit on Superman one more time before he either retires or his diseased liver and STD-ridden body do him in. “Oh, but Katie, he has cancer!” So? He’s still an asshole!

Well, that was grim. Let’s talk a little bit about Jason Mamoa telling a little kid that Superman was dead.

Okay, in the interest of fairness, I don’t think Mamoa had any malicious intent. I’m sure he was just caught up in the moment and wasn’t thinking straight, especially when he apologized to the same kid during an autograph signing that followed the panel. It was still a dick move on his part, but whether or not he gave it some thought, his fellow cast members told him “dude, that’s a little kid,” or his PR guy said “Look Mamoa, Warner has done a fine job of alienating Superman fans all on their own, they don’t need you helping. Now if you want to shrug off being typecast as an uncouth barbarian you’d better stop acting like one and say you’re sorry!” I’m glad he realized it was a dick move and took it back. I’m sure the fact that WB still wants to convince us that Superman is really dead wasn’t helping either. Speaking of which…

The Death of Superman and Reign of the Supermen are getting animated adaptations.

I have very mixed feelings about this one. On one hand, this was one of the stories I said deserved a faithful animated adaptation. Yes, some aspects don’t hold up anymore, but they can be worked around. This is also not the first time the story was adapted, as “Superman: Doomsday” was what kicked off the string of animated DC movies. But it was also very watered down and may as well have been called “Superman: the Clone Saga.” So the fact that they’re making a two-part animated adaptation should be good news…

Having said that, let’s get real. If they genuinely wanted to make a faithful adaptation of ‘The Death of Superman,’ they would have already. I can’t shake the feeling that the only reason it’s even being made is because Warner and DC realize that shoe-horning Doomsday into the end of BvS only succeeded in alienating Superman fans and they need to save face, not helped by the fact that the last animated solo-Superman movie they made, Superman Unbound, came out in 2013. Everything else since then has been either a Justice League movie or a Batman movie. Oh sure, Superman was in some of them, but the only one where he had anything resembling a leading role was in Justice League: Gods and Monsters…the alternate universe story where Wonder Woman is from space, Batman is a vampire, and Superman is the son of General Zod and his capsule lands on the US/Mexico border right as some refugees are crossing because apparently the writers felt that Superman being an alien just wasn’t quite on the nose enough.

Now I know what you might be thinking. “Okay, so maybe they didn’t make it as soon as you would have liked, but they’re making it anyway so what’s the problem?” The problem is the possibility that they’re making this not because they want to or feel that it’s a story worth adapting, but again just so they can save face for those of us Superman fans who felt alienated at the conclusion of Batman v Superman where the entirety of the story was boiled down to “Lex Zuckerburg creates Nuclear Man 2.0 and Superman gets stabbed to death at the end.” And a movie that nobody wants to make tends to be a movie that nobody wants to see.

That’s to say nothing of the fact that DC animated movies…well, they just haven’t been very good lately. Ever since their Flashpoint film, the movies have ranged from okay to outright bad. Justice League: War sucked, Son of Batman was obnoxious, Assault on Arkham was good but not great, Throne of Atlantis was a snooze-fest, Batman vs Robin sucked, Gods and Monsters was okay, Batman: Bad Blood had a good movie in it that was bogged down by the writers putting Batwoman’s story on the back-burner and insisting Dick and Damian arguing had to be on the forefront, Justice League vs Teen Titans could have been good if they didn’t put the least-interesting character Damian Wayne center-stage for no goddamn reason, Justice League Dark was hot garbage, Judas Contract was lame, and the less said about The Killing Joke the better.

In short…I hope it’s good, but given previous movies and the circumstance, I’m not holding my breath.

EDIT: Forgot about Supergirl apparently appearing in Justice League. I hope she kicks Batman’s ass. It’s long overdue somebody took Batman down a peg and I can think of worse motivations than “You got my cousin and only other member of my race killed,” as well as providing catharsis for Superman fans given he landed a grand total of two fucking punches in the title fight of Batman v Superman. Other than that, I don’t really care. Her inclusion can’t make the movie anymore troubled than it already is.

#Justice League #Superman #Wonder Woman #DC #Batman #Supergirl #DC animated universe #DC extended universe #DCAU #DCEU #Frank Miller #Comicon #movie #rant #please don't suck

[snakebitcat]

All Good Things Must Come To An Endgame (Avengers: Endgame)

“A man of vision, you say? Yeah. A hell of a vision.”

-Woodrow Call, Lonesome Dove

Hi there. It’s been awhile.

Firstly, here’s the State of the Manchild: The 2016 election took a lot of wind out of my sails, and then finding out that the guy who encouraged me to start writing reviews was a sexual predator (and the resultant end of the review site I was writing for) didn’t help my morale any, either. Also, I had some personal setbacks that I’d rather not go into that sent me into a long spiral of depression, so that didn’t help either. But I’ve missed this, and I’ve been wanting to come back to it, and when I saw Avengers: Endgame I felt the same inspiration that I felt when I watched Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made, so here we are. Time to kick off Grumpy Old Manchild 2.0, so without further ado, a review:

Avengers: Endgame was amazing, and that makes me fucking furious.

Why, you ask? Let me tell you about my friend John. I met him in 1987, back when I was just a grumpy young manchild. I was in a bookstore at my local mall, reading a sourcebook for the Marvel Super Heroes RPG, and some random stranger came up to me and started talking about the superhero game he was running at his college. We had a great time nerding the hell out over how much we loved superheroes and gaming, and because this was the era before anybody had cell phones and we were oblivious nerd boys, neither one of us thought that exchanging contact information would be a good idea. It was just a nice talk, and I’d figured that would be that.

Then that fall, when I went to go register for classes at the college I was attending at the time, we spotted each other in the halls, and I thought “Hey, it’s that guy; I should go say hi,” and we started hanging out and gaming together, and co-GM’d a superhero RPG from 1989 to 2006. I ran the first session the same night we went to go see the Michael Keaton Batman movie. And n 2008 we went to go see Iron Man together, and both lost our fucking minds when Nick Fury showed up at the end. And then we saw Incredible Hulk together, and when Tony Stark showed up at the end we lost of goddamned minds again.

And then in May of 2009, he died. He only got to see two of the twenty-two MCU movies, and nobody’s ever going to convince me that’s even remotely close to fair. But it seems somehow appropriate that when I’m thinking about him while I’m writing about a movie about superheroes and loss.

But I digress.

How was the movie, you ask? I absolutely loved it. Best installment in the MCU, bar none, because they accomplished something that  no other American movie studio ever has: They perfectly reproduced the experience of being a comic book reader following multiple titles by multiple creative teams working on a single storyline while also moving their individual storylines forward, and they absolutely stuck the landing.

And from here, there be spoilers, so I’ll put the rest under a cut.

OK, then. Other reviewers have already covered the plot, and if you’re still reading then chances are good you’ve already seen it, so rather than hit on that, I’m going to start by discussing how the movie deals with the original six Avengers.

First, we have Hawkeye. Most of the Avengers have fit the standard superhero mold of unmarried people with no kids, but Clint Barton is a husband and father, and his commitment to that kept him out of Infinity War. So because we didn’t get to see him in that (and because, unlike Scott Lang, he didn’t get a solo movie), the Russo’s decision to start with a scene of him with his family was a good one. It sparks Clint’s descent into darkness as Ronin, and it really drives home what it would be like to be there during the Snap.

Bruce Banner finally reconciles the two warring halves of his personality, and we get the Smart Hulk that I never expected to see in the movies, but was delighted to. How many PhDs does Hulk have? Same as you now, buddy.

When the Avengers finally locate Thanos, Thor goes for the head (as Thanos told him he should have done) only to discover that the vengeance he was desperate to take upon the Mad Titan means nothing. While the fat jokes at his expense were unnecessary, even disappointing, it makes sense that he would sink into the depressed haze of alcohol, food, and resignation we find him stewing in five years later.

Captain America has taken over Sam’s job, and is helping the Snap survivors learn to live with their tragedy, because he’s still trying to figure out how to live with his own. He hasn’t quite managed to move on, but then again that’s been his defining trait ever since he woke up in the modern world at the end of his first movie.

Iron Man has become the sort of dad he always wished his own father had been. It was great to see how he has, over the eleven years and 22 movies that the MCU has given us, gone from being someone who put himself and his own desires above everything and everyone else to someone whose first priority is the well-being of his friends and family.

And then we have Black Widow. Survivor’s guilt has been her defining trait ever since we got her hints about “red in her ledger” in Avengers, and it’s become the entirety of her being when we see what she’s up to after the jump forward in time. She’s so dedicated to coordinating the missions the surviving Avengers and Guardians are carrying out to the exclusion of letting herself have a life that her friends and colleagues are starting to worry about her.

So we have two Avengers who have collapsed in on themselves (Clint and Thor), two who are, while functional, too consumed by their pasts to move forward (Steve and Natasha), and two who are living the sort of post-heroic lives that their pre-Snap selves could only dream of (Bruce and Tony). Thus their situations are perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

As good as the movie is, it’s not entirely without its weak points. When Tony and Steve first meet each other, Tony lashes out at Steve for not being there when Thanos attacked. But because the reason Steve wasn’t there was because Tony never managed to swallow his pride enough to call Steve, that’s all on you, Stank. There are two others, both of them dialogue choices. The first is them not having Steve say “I can do this all day” when he gets up after Thanos has broken his shield and beaten him down, because that would have taken us full circle to when Steve was fighting the bully in Captain America: the First Avenger. And speaking of taking things full circle, when Tony says “I am Iron Man” just before he Snaps, he should have said “I am Tony Stark.” It wasn’t Iron Man, Avenger who stops Thanos and saves the universe, but rather Tony Stark, friend and father who will do whatever it takes to ensure that his little girl and the other people he loves will be safe from Thanos’ evil.

And now for some of the highlights from the plot – the things that pleasantly surprised me, or just made me grin. We finally got to hear Steve say “Avengers assemble!” I was hoping for that in Avengers, and then in Age of Ultron they blueballed us by cutting away before he could finish saying it, and there was never a point in Infinity War when it would have been appropriate. So finally, after almost a full decade of waiting, having it at long last be paid off felt especially sweet. Tony and Steve finally putting their bad blood aside and becoming friends again was exactly the sort of sweet moment we needed. The scene with Bruce and the Ancient One was an absolute delight, because he was one of the only members of the team who could talk multiversal theory and timeline integrity with her at her level. Tony meeting his father helped him realize that for all of Howard’s many faults, his father did the best he was capable of, in a heartfelt callback to Star-Lord having the same realization about Yondu in Guardians of the Galaxy 2. The moment when all of the Avengers and Guardians whom Thanos had Snapped portaled in along with all of the sorcerers, Ravagers, and all of Wakanda’s warriors was an absolutely beautiful “Fuck yeah” moment. Star-Lord got to see Gamora again, but when he tried to resume where they had left off their relationship, he got a knee to the pills for his trouble because this was the Gamora that hadn’t met him yet, rather than the one who had gotten the chance to see the real him yet. And Steve finally proved that we he worthy to wield Mjolnir, and Thor was even happier about it than anyone in the audience!

And with that I’ll move on to how each of the original team’s individual stories ended up.

Clint got to be back with the family that he had lost all hope of seeing again.

Bruce got to leave the violence and anger that had defined his life for years behind him, and retire with the recognition as a hero and a genius that he deserved.

Thor has left the weight of all the expectations – both his own, and of all the other Asgardians and Avengers – behind him, and can start to discover what sort of person he is and what sort he wants to be.

Steve has finally moved on, by moving back. He returns to the past, and becomes the husband that Peggy had mentioned in past movies but whom we never saw. As a fan of the character and someone who is hopelessly sentimental, seeing him finally get that dance she promised him had me weeping with joy.

Tony’s story started the MCU, and he has, appropriately enough, grown the most of any of the characters in it. He proved that he was capable of self-sacrifice in Avengers, and in Endgame he knows what he’s sacrificing himself for, and that it’s worth the cost he pays.

And Natasha … it hurt so much to see her sacrifice herself. But it also made perfect sense. Clint was too blinded by the loss of his family to realize that if they won, his family would be back. But Natasha knew that, and she wanted Clint to have the chance at a life with his wife and children that Thanos had taken away from him. And with that act of supreme love for her best and truest friend, the last of the red was finally gone from her ledger.

Their situations are no longer perfectly balanced, but obsession with balance was what drove Thanos to attempt to commit omnicide. We don’t need for all of the Avengers to be equally well off, as long as their storylines have reached their logical conclusions, and for good or ill, whether in joy or in mourning, they all have.

We will miss the ones we lost in Endgame, as I miss John. But we will continue on, and although I’m sure they would have preferred to have gotten to continue along with us, we can keep living our lives and do our best to make things a little better, a little kinder, and a little more just for those who will continue along after we are gone.

Speaking of which, please join me next Wednesday, when I’ll be reviewing a movie whose title was too weird for me to ignore: The Man Who Killed Hitler and then the Bigfoot.

#grumpy old manchild #reviews #avengers #avengers endgame #mcu #it felt good to write reviews again #i hope people read this

[rockrevoltmagazine]

SHOW REVIEW: KillThrax Tour, feat: Anthrax and Killswitch Engage w/The Devil Wears Prada - Jasta - Fillmore - Silver Spring, MD

Anthrax & Killswitch Engage – The Fillmore – Silver Spring, MD – April 3, 2017

One of the most highly anticipated heavy metal tours of early 2017, The KillThrax Tour, featuring a co-headlining bill of thrash royalty Anthrax and metalcore titans Killswitch Engage, invaded the halls of the Fillmore in Silver Spring, Maryland, this past week.

Any lineup featuring the two aforementioned metal heroes would be more than enough to fill most music halls to capacity with rabid headbangers, however, the KillThrax tour also includes rising metalcore outfit The Devil Wears Prada and Jamey Jasta of Hatebreed fame.

The venue had posted show opener Jasta as taking the stage at 7:00 pm, however, Jasta and The Devil Wears Prada both had their set times moved up an hour at the last minute, as apparently a personal issue forced the Hatebreed front man to start the night’s metal festivities a bit early.

As a result anyone not lucky enough to already be inside the Fillmore when the venue’s doors opened likely missed most if not all of Jasta’s and The Devil Wears Prada’s performances.  As it turns out, sometimes the metal gods can be cruel.

Any feelings of disappointment some fans may have felt being denied the chance to enjoy Jasta and or TDWP were surely washed away quickly as New Jersey thrash metal godfathers Anthrax took to the Fillmore stage with the kind of ferocity and sheer intensity most bands thirty years their junior would be lucky to emulate.

Still touring on what many consider a return to form, 2016’s For All Kings, the evening’s performance was mostly a metal time machine journey through Anthrax’s early catalog. Outside of three tracks off of their latest LP and a single tune from 2011’s Worship Music, the evening’s set list leaned heavily on Anthrax’s third studio record, 1985’s Among the Living.

Most longtime fans of the band were likely expecting this as prior to the KillThrax tour kicking off here in United States Anthrax played the Among the Living record in its entirety across the pond throughout both the months of February and March.

At 56 years of age, Joey Belladona’s voice has not only not degraded, his level of energy and overall performance seem to actually be getting stronger. This same sentiment holds true for the entirety of the band, especially in terms of Frank Bello and Scott Ian’s frantic antics while up on stage.

Ian, Bello, and Belladona were whirling dervishes, constantly darting from stage end to stage end and up, then back down, the elevated stage platforms regularly interacting with another. When not crashing and banging into each other the band members regularly created connections with individuals in the audience via more than a handful of  directed nods, finger points, and the flashing of the metal horns. Belladona at one point even directly interacted with a few of the photographers, twice grabbing cameras to take a few choice images himself.

It’s these connections and the genuine heart felt interactions Anthrax makes with the audience at their live shows that ensures their performances are unique, making these encounters that much more timeless for their fan base. At most concerts if the band performs at a high level, that’s more than enough for almost any fan to be satisfied with.  Anthrax always manages to exceed those expectations by creating personal moments that those in the audience will go on to remember for years to come.

A fair percentage of those in attendance were on the younger end of the spectrum and thus more than likely Killswitch Engage fans. That fact did not prevent Anthrax from forcing nearly everybody inside the Fillmore to engage with them via fiery renditions of classics such as the S.O.D cover, “March of the SOD, while also setting the stage ablaze with fan favorite, “Antisocial” and regular show closer, “Indians.”

Hats off to Belladona, Ian (guitar), Bello (bass), Jon Donais (guitar) and Charlie Benante (drums), as all are superlative as well as seasoned players who never fail to impress and their performance at the Fillmore in Silver Spring, Maryland did absolutely nothing to dispel that long standing tradition.

Originally formed nearly twenty years into Anthrax’s career, Killswitch Engage are on somewhat of a nostalgia trip themselves as the band is also celebrating one of their own record’s anniversary, Alive or Just Breathing.

Released fifteen years ago, the band’s second full-length studio effort put the Massachusetts outfit on the proverbial metal map on the strength of the single, “Last Serenade.” Their set list at the Fillmore, however, did not center around the band’s sophomore album, instead it swung more towards material off of both 2016’s Incarnate and the 2004 Howard Jones fronted classic, The End of the Heartache.

Killswitch Engage have taken a play right out of Anthrax’s playbook in terms of not only fan interaction but their actual live performance. Much like his metal brothers Bello, Belladona, and Ian, Adam Dutkiewicz has a non-stop motor whenever and wherever he performs.

Known for his crazy stage outfits and even more outlandish stage antics, Dutkiewicz could easily come off as corny. Instead KsE’s fans embrace the guitarist’s wild behavior and I’m sure many come to the band’s live shows excited to see what eccentric ensemble Dutkiewicz may show up in.  Just don’t tell Slayer guitarist Kerry King any of this.

King has called out Dutkiewicz more than a few times for what he’s referred to as the guitarist’s “silliness.”  I suppose to each their own, and there’s never such thing as a wrong opinion but in fairness, Dutkiewicz  is just trying to have a blast. His on stage shenanigans are more than likely just his way of expressing his exuberance and his attempt at sharing those emotions with the fans.

Although not quite as silly as Dutkiewicz, bassist Mike D’Antonio is wildly entertaining to watch in concert as he too is beyond animated.  D’Antonio puts on an array of evil metal faces while swaying and contorting his bass in every possibly direction as he maniacally moves about the stage.

The bassist is this kooky amalgamation of Gene Simmons meets Cliff Burton in terms of both play style and stage persona. Upon observation D’Antonio appears to be living out the real life concert millions of metal heads played to themselves in their high school bedrooms each and every time he has the opportunity to play live.

The counter to Dutkiewicz and D’Antonio, lead singer Jesse Leach, is more of a serious presence while up on stage. Leach forgoes the tomfoolery instead choosing to make his connections with the audience via his soaring vocals and stoic performance.

Leach commands immediate attention and only has to utter a few words to send any crowd into an all out frenzy. Seconds before launching into “Strength of Mind,” Leach quipped that the mosh pit had not nearly impressed him up until that point in the show. Not unexpectedly, the audience responded with vigor as lord help those who were not prepared for the break out of flying fists and hammer kicks that instantaneously engulfed two-thirds of the Fillmore’s general admission floor.

Similar to Anthrax, the boys in Killswitch Engage Leach (vocals), D’Antonio (bass), Dutkiewicz (guitar), Josh Stroetzel (guitar), and Justin Foley (drums) have spent their entire career creating long standing bonds with their fan base.  Thus when attending one of their surreal live shows most fans don’t just come away feeling as though they’ve spent a few hours at a concert.  Instead upon existing the venue most fans probably felt as though they had just spent a couple of hours with their best friends, who also just so happen to be in a kick ass metal band.

As the final notes of “In Due Time” echoed throughout the Fillmore many headbangers, weary from hours of well, head banging, were doing something that isn’t necessarily associated with the world of heavy metal, they were smiling.  Head banging, smiling, and beyond unreal live metal performances, that’s what our friends in Anthrax and Killswitch Engage are all about.

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All Writing and Photography:  Robert Forte

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SHOW REVIEW: KillThrax Tour, feat: Anthrax and Killswitch Engage w/The Devil Wears Prada – Jasta – Fillmore – Silver Spring, MD was originally published on RockRevolt Mag

#anthrax #Fillmore Silver Spring #For all kings #Hatebreed #incarnate #Jasta #Killswitch Engage #killthrax tour #killtrhax #KsE #Megaforce Records #Roadrunner Records #the devil wears prada