#i think they come into contact way more

[pocketramblr]

For 5 ask game: how about an au where zuko and aang are both the avatar

1- "how does that happen" well, Aang half died in the ice burg. The subsequent water and earth benders were noticably weaker than previous ones, though this helped the water bender hide from the fire nation, and led to the earth bender one being killed by them... Just as Ursa goes into labor for the first time. Unfortunately, Ozai wants to use his avatar son and is very disappointed when Zuko turns thirteen without a sign of airbending- the sages promised this boy was the avatar!

2- Zuko is invited to war meetings, but when he tries to speak he is silenced- when he is actually the avatar, master of elements, he will be allowed to advice, trusted, but not yet. He can sit in silence for only so long, and finally breaks to say they cannot sacrifice the children of the fire nation like that- and he is sent away to the sages, who suggest investigating the Air Temples and seeing if anything there sparks bending in him.

3- it does, the barest bit exploding when he gasped at the sight of the bodies, when he caught the glimpses of spirits in the corner of his eyes. Zuko can't stay here and orders the ship to take him to the southern water tribe instead, so he can unlock water bending. That doesn't work, (and the village says there's no water benders left) but it's marginally easier to practice fire and air bending outside of the graveyard the temple had become. He trains for years, knowing there is no point in returning home unless it's as the avatar.

4- and then one day, Katara wakes Aang up. Zuko gets close hoping the light are spirits that will help him learn water bending, and then we get to the first real problem of them both being the avatar: only one of them can be it at a time. So, when Aang starts bending, Zuko suddenly can't, unless he can overpower Aang and leave him unable to bend as well. (Which he only manages with the highest levels of anger) um, the avatar state is the opposite - if one of them goes into it, the other is dragged along.

5- Zuko is now chasing them because he wants an airbender and waterbender teacher, and also see if he can figure out from the spirits why his bending keeps vanishing. Iroh keeps asking him how he's going to actually convince them to teach him after he captures them, and Zuko says he'll just figure it out then. Katara thinks Aang is proof that awful firebending prince was only ever a mock Avatar and the bending vanishing is just a side effect of being in an ice burg for a century. Sokka thinks they're all crazy. And Aang actually figures out what's happening very early but no one believes it because "that's not how the avatar works" even though as 50% of the avatar, he should be considered an expert!

#i think they come into contact way more #like. at the air temple #and every time it's just a lot of yelling back and forth about who's the real avatar #but also at that avatar day village uh. the statue is not of aang but zuko instead since the royal family made it well known #at the very latest when Zuko turned sixteen even if he was 'secluded for training' #oh man. he wouldn't have a burn #that's weird. #also never would have been crown prince #that passed straight to azula since zuko has other dutirs #but yeah I'm imagining double avatar shenanigans now. very fun #pocket talks to people #anon #ask game

[blighted-lights]

do you ship ravage and drift? you draw them a lot and they're always so touchy lol

nah. they're really touchy amicas, tho. probably because im always touchy with my friends and it just kinda rubs off on my art. ravage is my Me character so i do end up giving him traits i have. one of those is being touchy with people he cares about 🤷‍♂️. he's especially touchy with drift as when they were grouped together in the dead end (which is where they met in my brain), ravage spent a lot of hours curled up in drift's car alt with laserbeak and buzzsaw for shelter. that touchy aspect never really left their dynamic.

and besides,

drift/deadlock's candle has always been lit for someone else.

(plus an extra doodle of them)

#ask: anon #tf art #transformers #more than meets the eye #transformers art #maccadams #maccadam #blight rambles #drift | deadlock #drift #ravage #tf ravage #transformers ravage #mtmte #transformwrs idw #not gonna go all out on tags here #my art #good rule of thumb for me is that unless it is specifically tagged as ship then its not ship #not much of a transformers romance person in general #like there are exceptions and i DO enjoy tf ships. i am actively encouraging ppl to ask about em/about my opinions on ur otps #but my rav and drift are amicas #very TOUCHY amicas. i draw them touching a lot bc i think theyd be pretty physically affectionate with one another #they hug. they cuddle. drift carries ravage occasionally. they speak through hand simply just to feel the contact. ravage puts all his #weight on drift on bad pain days. drift does the same for him. its a big part of their dynamic. its the Trust that comes with that touch #theyre sparkbonded to each other as amicas too. like these two cant really get closer. but its not a romantic dynamic 🤷‍♂️ #i cant stop you from seeing it that way and. im not gonna try lol. but anon asked so i figured id answer and talk a bit more about em #idk rambling in the tags

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Still thinking about the Mandela Prophet au…….

More specifically, different ways the parasite can manifest itself

#the mandela catalogue #mandela catalogue #tmc #mandela prophet #adam murray #body horror #face horror #arachnophobia #(kinda) #eye contact #blood #blood tw #shmorps art #like. obviously you have the whole. arms coming out of his back thing #but I was thinking of more. subtle(?) ways the parasite could show up #I don’t know. my aus rotate in my head like a hot pocket and they take turns making me insane /lh #Prophet Adam (tmc)

[sysig]

Just be honest! (Patreon)

Bonus:

Could be :)

#Doodles #Wander Over Yonder #Emperor Awesome #Commander Peepers #Maybe something less friendship and more something else Eyesome? :3c #Could be :) #Hhhh yet more fun poses and contact points! Especially Awesome's legs and Peepers resting his ''cheek'' on his hand :D #The slight squish upgrading to a full squish with the shape of his eye-cheek changing! I did that and I'm happy about it! Haha ♪ #Plus how fun it is to draw him sitting lightly with his arm on his leg ah ♥ His proportions are so fun #Anyway ♪ Lol #Awesome's feeling all introspective and it's giving him the vapours lol #He's a hedonist! A coward! A gossip! Someone who coasts through life with no care to who he steps on! Except ♪ #Not me thinking Peepers could be Awesome's Wander lol - ''If I stopped hating that one thing then what was the point of hating the rest?'' #As soon as he starts seeing the humanity of one little guy where does that put him ♫ #Personally I think he'd still be a mostly selfish jerk - at least for a while - considering how hard realizing he even Likes Peeps would be #Even here he's like ''This sucks! Being friends with you bites and not in the cool way!'' Lol #He's just being a baby and coming to terms with his feelings #And Peepers might possibly be picking up on that a little bit :) It's still comedically optimized not to worry lol ♫ #Awesome is only starting to approach his own feelings but he's being very obvious - throwing a tantrum even lol #So Peeps noticing before Awesome realizing he should be hiding it way harder than he currently is - he just doesn't know yet! #Probably both blushing up a storm just before bed that night lol ''Can't believe I said all that to him'' ''He takes me seriously'' hehe <3 #It feels good! Trust and understanding slowly building up :) That's what makes me interested in their dynamic! :D

[thelien-art]

for the pride requests: eönwë/finarfin with ace (or aroace) flag?

They obviously built a strong friendship over the War of Wrath

🏳️‍🌈CELEBRATE PRIDE WITH ME🏳️‍🌈 - send in a character or a ship with a pride flag and I´ll draw it

#they have sleepovers #earwen just have to accept it and live with the feathers #if you are who i think you are know you made me care for finarfin and his oldest more than i did before #eonwe is in his armor #war form #?? #he does look close to that normally but not quite #i know i talked about it before but i think of him as an antisocial ainur and because of his lack of contact with the elvers he looks off #he comes of intimidating because of his look to the elvers and humans #at the war of wrath he does a month worth of study or something to look more human so as not to scare people away #he does choose to wear swords on his back as a way to still look intimidating but in a different way #no the swords just floats behind him and really is pretty useless as theyre only an illusion meant to scare #he finds himself much better at making friends after that #ara has some of his armor on #tolkien #silmarillion #jrr tolkien #finarfin #arafinwe #eonwe #pride requests #aromantic asexual #aromantic #asexual #aroace #also i liked aras cloak a lot so i wanted to find another place for the flag and then i noticed the swords and was like yeah #silm art #tolkien art #my art #digital art

[soups-archive]

Thoughts on Purgatory Day 4:

God what a fun day, and yet funnily enough a much more relaxed one.

It's gonna be interesting to see what the ramifications of blue's logout strat are gonna be because it's definitely going to be banned, but, from my understanding, blue used this strat to prove a point: that red's strategy was unfair.

Which is true, or at least I think it was true.

Personally, I feel like it was mostly unfair due to how difficult it used to be to get to global, but I feel like the admins have pretty fairly counteracted that and balanced things with today's introduction of the spawn portals.

Because with red's strat players HAD to physically travel to global and turn in the contracts within at least the last 30 minutes of gameplay. The portals now easily allow other teams to show up and at least put up a good fight, and we actually got to see how effective they are today with cellbit and charlie's assist they pulled for roier. If they had been just slightly quicker, green might've been able to steal back the win.

Which I think brings me to the other potentially unfair part of red's strat that I've seen be brought up which is that it isn't fair for streamers in European timezones/streamers who play earlier. Which is a fair criticism, but honestly I haven't personally been able to think of a way for the admins to balance the contracts around that without either: A) completely changing how contracts work, or B) unfairly punishing later streamers.

I think it's complicated, and I feel like the main thing that's gonna result from today isn't going to be them banning turning in tasks late but instead banning logging out right in front of the global NPCs. Knowing the admins, they'll probably figure out something I hadn't thought of and make the whole thing more fair for everyone.

Competition and lore wise, tomorrow is gonna be really interesting as well. A small alliance might be blooming between red and green and that might have massive ramifications going forward. That and I think (???????) that players might be getting their eggs tomorrow (?????). I know they described a period in which they had to keep them alive and the actual event ends on the 10th so I'm guessing they're arriving tomorrow. If they are, that shit is going to be crazy.

(Side note: It was also a delight to see teams casually hanging out more together today. As much as I enjoy the competition, I missed them all just chilling)

Overall, congrats blue on the win! Cheesy as fuck and they knew it but it was absolutely deserved! They worked their asses off! And green put up a hell of a fight! I hope they get their chance to win as well tomorrow!

#qsmp #soup speaks #it could be perceived that way but this really isnt meant to be a discourse post #i just like thinking about strategy and gameplay balancing lol #this event has been so delightful for me i love disecting possible tactics and ways the admins can make things more fair #while still rewarding interesting and smart strategies #because red's strategy WAS smart #and with the addition of the portals its a lot more fair and opens up opportunities for some sick ass skirmishes over global tasks #i think it also opens up a lot of opportunities for teams to get creative #because all the teams DO have streamers who log in later #even if theyre not their pvp heavy ones #off the top of my head blue has tina missa and rivers #and green has bagi quackity and roier #and not all of those people are the best at pvp but thats where creativity and strategy come in #id love to see blue team come running in with a bunch of explosives or poisoned arrows or other ranged attack methods #to try and stop red team or green team without getting too close contact #like AHHH!!!! i wanna see teams get really creative with this!!! i love fun strategies!!!! #theres so much fun bullshit you can do in this scenario #like god i could sing red's praises so much theyre so tactical and think so strategically its fucking awesome #their cave base made specifically so that it would be less detectable using cave layers? and convincing people they still live at spawn? #delightful #and shoutout blue team for the way they've let people play to their strengths #they caught on to so many good strats early on like moving their base off island and tea being the best food source #and god the way green really came back together today was such a delight to watch #i hadn't caught much of their pov prior to today but i tuned in while they were grinding to fight blue and it was so much fun #i hope them and red actually commit to the little alliance they've formed and try to secure green the win tomorrow #god this event spawns such shit discourse but also im so delighted by it #sorry for the fucking essay in the tags i just have so much to gush about this event kudos to the admins this is sick #qsmp purgatory #really putting the blog back in tumblr blog with this one huh

[ssreeder]

Omg Ssreedy <3 saw you going off in my tags, you're the sweetest! ToT You have no idea how much i cherish your kind words, they really motivate me

Also congrats on the new chapter! It made me appreciate Reho so much, I keep growing fonder of this guy!! (Morrak absolutely wrecked him with his diagnosis tho, haha, my man didn't deserved to get dragged so hard)

Anyway that made me remember that I cooked something up last year, but never posted it. (apologies, I probably got some of their details wrong, I did this purely from memory ////) my headcanons of what Ara & Reho look like

GENTLE TREES NOOOOOO you can’t drop OC art in my inbox and expect me to be even the SLIGHTEST bit normal about it.

You’re so amazing, going off in your tags is a damn honor *salutes*

Dude Morrak WRECKED Reho last chapter, and I guess there’s not patient dr confidentiality in this AU because Morrak totally slandered the poor man to Katara of all people lol. At least Reho didn’t have to hear yet another person try to figure out what’s wrong with him haha.

Thank you Gentle you’re so amazing!!! I can’t wait to gush over your art some more in the tags

#I try not to be a freak in the text #I submerge myself in the tags and turn into a crazy person because #DAMN IT GENTLE TREES LOOK AT THEM #THE SURVIVING OCs #well there’s Chang but who knows sokka could off him next chapter lol #gunna need a big stick though #BUT OMG GENTLE THE WAY YOU DREW ARA #you seriously managed to capture the ceramic doll look for her and her expression is just perfect #I’m sure you weren’t meaning to but seriously you nailed it #she’s small and cute and picture perfect but a walking disaster who anyone she comes in contact with gets sucked into her mess #and usually walk away with scars if they get to walk away #omg and REHOOOO #gentle you nailed his idk what’s up but I’m here to chill vibe haha #AND YOU GAVE HIM SANDALS #such a luffy vibe and I just love everything about it haha #his little ace self that just wants to live in a house with all his besties where nothing bad happens #I love his little smile #I think I’ve told you 100 times but I’ll tell you 100 more #your expressions are fucking GOLD #I’m haunted in a good way by your art especially the last one with the sad zuko (he was rescued though so yippieee) and idk I just #love your style so much #thanks for sharing these with me #I swear I get a fanart and it’s like 100 HP to my writing #like I just swallowed a gold star and I’m about to fuck shit up in a good way #Ok sorry gentle I’m going to stop rambling but again #THANK YOU #made my whole night haha #liab #ITF #gentletrees

[ante--meridiem]

Well. Potentially inadvisable message I sent a few days ago not really expecting a reply to did, in fact, get a reply.

#personal #for those with enough knowledge of blog lore to know what I'm talking about here: #I caved and messaged First Ex/Former Closest Friend again #out of a mixture of the fact that I keep circling back to that friendship breakup on an approximately monthly basis that I knew #I'd never be able to really let it go unless I at least tried once #and the confidence from my knowledge of him that if our positions were reversed *he* would have tried #in any case. He's not sure if we'll succeed in being friends again but he *is* willing to talk #on the condition (which I offered in my initial message) of me not telling any of the people we mutually know #that he ended up having issues with #that we are speaking with #& there is (unsurprisingly since there was clearly a lot missing from the stories I'd gotten) more to said issues than I'd heard about #which it sounds like he's going to elaborate on when we talk #I think the biggest difficulty for me in re-establishing contact like this is going to be accepting that he and my mother #outright despise each other now #which. l mean - I'd never claim she's perfect #she can be very blunt in a way that comes off as just *mean* and hurtful and I've been hurt by that too #but she's also been a much better parent to me than most people's parents seem to be to them #it's possible maybe even likely that if some of our arguments when I was younger had ended in us cutting ties rather than #eventually talking it through that I would see her the same way Former Closest Friend does #but they didn't and she's been at certain points amazingly supportive since #so it's likely I'm going to have a hard time reconciling the version of her he's going to present to me with that #even though I'm totally open to believing that he's justified in how he feels about whatever happened #& I'm not going to be able to process it out loud irl bc that would violate the 'not telling people involved about this' clause #so there may be a lot of venty personal tumblr posts coming soon to a blog near you

[kyouka-supremacy]

Mmmhh...

#(Basically rant on my last two posts) #I know I've said it before and sorry for coming off as annoying– #but I really wish we still had a central bsd blog on Tumblr like fy-bungoustraydogs or bsd-central or things of the kind. #I think now everyone rushes to post news first. And although there's merit to it in knowing news as soon as they happen‚ #in the long run the death of this kind of central official content ***fan*** blogs is such a huge loss of fandom spaces‚ #especially for the archiving purposes they solved. Especially today that T/witter and G/oogle have basically become unusable. #Literally. Literally. I've been doing official content archiving since I was 11 #(because that's the very specific kind of mental illness I have) #and let me tell you that the quality of web search and especially reverse image search only got worse– #in a way that is very evident and noticeable. Which is crazy tbh and not how things should work. #If anyone would like to start a bsd-central kind of blog I'll be the first one to follow. #Actually if anyone actually wants to establish it feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to share the resources I have!!!! #It just needs to be something multi-modded for a series of reasons I won't get into right now #I just can't personally do it (not as main admin at least) because that would be modding my FIFTH active bsd blog– #and that's a little too much even for me. #On top of some ethical concerns I have regarding whether it'd be fair for me to mod a fandom central bsd blog– #when I feel like I can't genuinely share the same amount of love for the franchise other fans share #On top of. You know. Getting a degree eventually hopefully. #Then years after the blog has been solidly enstablished and aquired enough credibility it could even open a free donations found to invest– #in buying and scanning and releasing bsd content that hasn't been shared yet like the guidebooks or illustration books or everything else– #for everyone to see... #The dream. (Is realistically never going to happen) (Won't stop me from daydreaming about it every day) #((Still salty I couldn't afford the guidebooks only due to the shipment prices. I *would* have scanned and uploaded them.)) #That was a long and idealistic rant. Kyotag out #Edit: *Modding my SIXTH bsd blog #Apparently I mod so many blogs I lost count of them

[marivenah]

bonded through the force, they cannot be who they are without the other

#oc: shireen oqir #x: to your deepest low #myedit* #templatebyme* #they have a force bond going on so whenever they flop they flop together 🥰 #they really have me by the throat rn idk how they do it but every time i come back to sw i'm in SO DEEP #also don't look at me i needed to make sure everyone knows about the gb x mw dynamic #didn't mean to hijack the song but it's just everything to me #they can be besties with ani*dala ig <3 #all of their contacts are men this is so sad #also oh my first edit for them... #anyways gonna crawl back into my hole and cry and think of more ways to make them suffer and then cry again

[july-19th-club]

there's a guy who i dont work with but who works from my building as a consultant for a job-center type organization, and whenever he comes in he like. sets such a good example of patience, compassion, good manners, and...i dont know, gentleness that it makes me try harder not to be irritable or impatient with patrons. two totally different jobs, we never even speak unless he's asking for the stapler or we're saying hi and bye on his way in and out of the building, but every thursday good old boring average chris shows up to set up his laptop at one of our public tables and meet clients, and he's so goddamn nice i'm like okay i have to be nice too . so thanks chris

#im usually so short-tempered at work these days i just get so huffy when i have to interact and guide ppl through shit . but it's . idk #i think he gets his frustrations out in a more productive way bc i overheard him on the phone the other day #organizing a wheelchair rugby game . apparently he's on a team. i would never have taken him for a rugby guy. so mild mannered #he really is the most average looking man on the planet but there is a slight slyness to his resting expression bc he has one lazy eye #i think i have a little bit of a crush on him #the circ desk is very tall because patrons will loom over us otherwise so unless im standing up i do not even see him come in #you just hear a rattling noise and you're like oh chris is here whats up as he rolls by #from opposite sides of the particle board. sometimes make eye contact thru the book drop slot #its the most consistent part of my thursdays. out of touch. when your not around. i may have a crush on job center chris #it would never go anywhere. he's like in his forties i think and guy like him. probably married . but i can think my thoughts

[silenthillbunni]

📓🕯️🐇🖤

#just a little diary dump: #i've contacted my school therapist again. asked for help regarding anxiety abt schoolwork since i dont get any other treatment #she said she can help me go thru if there are other options since neither psychiatric nor healthcare center will help me #+ she said that she and i can talk abt my anxiety regarding school etc. so in two weeks i'll see her #school starts next week. 4days a week rip... lol thats much for me. a bum. a cellar dweller. i've decided that im gnna go to all my classes #and always work while im there since its harder for me to do it at home. and i will also talk more w my teacher nd ask them for help #then im looking into an online therapy service. it miiight be possible for me to do that. but then i have to contact them and focus on only #1 or 2 issues. in my experience it just doesnt work to go to them and be like everythings bad :(( they wont help u then. i have to narrow it #down for them. nd i'll think i will talk 2 them abt my extreme feelings of loneliness and also my procrastination behavior #but yeah i have no idea if it's possibly bc idk if i can get financial aid for that service. im still in contact w the healthcare center so #i hope she will come to some sort of conclusion nd not just leave my high nd dry (she sent another referral to the persobality disorder - #clinic. even if they rejected the first one. so i'll see) #hmmm yeah. the situation w my sisters is sooooo rough. i hate it. they make me feel so so bad #and the housing situation is roughhhh. it's impossible to get an apartment lol. #so i need to find a way to shut it off and try to not let it bother me #just focus on finishing upper secondary school. nd i've been thinking abt taking out a loan for it and take german/french/spanish classes #instead of doing what im doing now when im actually poor and stressed bc they can choose to cut me off anytime #im meeting my highschool friend on tuesday. she asked if i wanted to hang out for a bit c: #im a bit anxious but like yeah.. it's nice to get out and talk to someone besides my family. which is just my mom lol #i messaged my other old highschool classmate on insta and said i saw her in my neighborhood #she replied but i had lowkeyyy hoped for more... like maybe being able to befriend her T-T but she didnt seem so interested in talking to me #which is ok ofc. it just made me a bit sad bc idk how to make friends and i thought she was rlly nice. but oh well #im rlly sad atm. maybe heartbreak prob. even more sad bc it was my stupid fault but yeah #im still grateful for all that it gave me. nd how i got to experience feelings of warmth nd love nd appreciation i didnt know i could feel #so even if im just contantly heavily sad bc i keep being like oh. i wanna ask this. say that. wonder what theyre up to. etc etc. i just have #to... be sad and just keep going forward #hope and try to not fuck everything else up. even if it feels like... what do all the other things matter when what i rlly rlly wanted got #ruined..... thats life tho. i know. im just so bad at handling life :(( #i feel so broken and confused and i hate that i didnt get to be normal and healthy #im so illequipped at dealing w myself nd my emotions nd there seems to be no professional help for me

[justinefrischmanngf]

i don’t know how i’m ever going to have sex when even just hugging people is so significant to me……

#the way i just dont experience physical contact on a regular basis at all #i was thinking about this and thinking that i think i’d cry if i were to have sex #simply out of sheer overwhelm/amazement/[insert here] from being touched #like. in a good way. but. also what the fuck #anyway this is not information to share to as many people as follow me here but you’re getting it anyway #but seriously. i hugged someone the other week and he was such a nice hugger like i felt Held for a moment and that made me emotional . #like. ok. sure. #i say this as if sex is something i’m just this close to having as though there are not many steps i’m missing #but like ….. it’s a thought #anyway i’ll delete this but man i need to come in physical contact with people more often

[cloud-somersault]

constellations chapter 3 is SO GOOD idk what the fuck happened there, but go OFF!!!

#i know everyone's in chapter 4 land but 3 is SOO GOOD #bro the stone forest alone....HELP #ugh it was so hard writing wukong's rage form but HOLY SHIT!! reading it after is so hype #do u ever just sit in a pavilion as the rain gently falls...with your ex-husband and mentee....and it's quiet and peaceful but #there's a strong turbulence going on deep inside you :3 #the way wukong always dusts MK off and wipes his tears away and makes sure he's clean faced and ready to go #speaks to how much wukong cares about vanity #i mean he also is expressing comfort and compassion but. he also cares about appearances a lot #but anyway -- do you also ever have a conversation with your ex-husband through eye contact alone? #i think they've done that four times in this fic... #mk the entire journey: every day i get a little more homophobic #HE'S SO TIRED!!!! #MK after talking to wukong and macaque at the inn: yeah haha! i seriously wanna go home now! 🙃 #MK on the phone: DADSY /PLEASE/ COME PICK ME UP!!!! #macaque seeing Wukong's eyes for the first time and actually stopping everything that he was doing #and just looking at wukong and being like “haha...heeyyy what the fuck?? did they do to you??” chef's kiss #wukong and macaque just talking while macaque captures that random man's shadow...please #as they reminisce about how things used to be...how easily they talk to each other when they're not guided by hate #that's the thing it's how easily they fall into step with one another #that's shadowpeach. they'll be off balance or one will be running and the other walking. they'll get distracted or whatever. but #they'll always fall back into step with one another #and that's why they've got to walk with each other. step by step...so they can stop being afraid 😌

[spaceratprodigy]

was thinking about somethin somethin nicky "breaking up" with iris while slow dancing with her

#extra salt in the wound if it's the night ellie and trav surprise them with a makeshift date night #breaking up in quotations bc at this point they wouldn't really be established but It Would Be Obvious ya'know #idk I've been messing around with parts of iris's story again for funsies and wanted some change of scenery #so playing around with ideas #such as nick even if he does have real feelings for her beyond not necessarily wanting their partnership to end #he's incredibly aware he is never capable of being the partner she needs in the ways she'd really want #he doesn't doubt how much she loves him. he knows she does #he also knows how quickly and easily she would sacrifice herself desperately hoping that love would last #and he doesn't want to see her unhappy clinging to something. to him. when she deserves more. someone who can give her the life she wants #thinking about him. her in his arms. the shotgun blast to the heart. saying the first I love you while pushing her away at the same time #also really really really have been thinking up the chain of events that would lead up to her dropping everything and going back on the road #alone again for the first time in a long while #needed a catalyst for her just kinda ✨disappearing✨ for a long while and no one not even deeks can find her #travis trying desperately to contact her at her home base. but she's not there to answer the radio #and he starts trying to talk to her through dcr because he knows she's listening #his lil stumbly voice telling her how sorry he is for what happened. that he wants her to come home. that he's worried. that he misses her #rambling #miss ma'am iris is that you

[johndonneswife]

someone really should be talking about how difficult it is to plan a wedding - a gay wedding - when both of your families fucking suck

#who is talking about this!!!! let me know #idk i have 0 expectations for my family but they still somehow always manage to let me down which #i was anticipating #and i didn’t think i would care because i have never cared before #but liiiiiike. #i wasn’t expecting to feel sad rofl but my family is so fucking flaky. again i KNOW THIS i know i cannot rely on any of them #it’s annoying when i have given them a year and a half to make plans and i have had so many people tell me they would be there #just to back out or ghost or come up with some excuse #like do you know how expensive weddings are 😭 JUST fucking be honest with me and rsvp no #anyway i was very intentional with the few family members i did invite #and specifically invited people i have a rapport with / had a good (ish lol) relationship with growing up #people i have bent over backwards trying to please!!! and dropping everything to help them out #and they can’t even be bothered to communicate with me lol it’s fine. like. i do feel like it’s internalized homophobia at this point #or maybe they have hated me this entire time which is totally plausible #but they KNOW how much ayesha means to me and knows that no one from her family is coming to our wedding #at the end of the day it’s going to be like. 5 people from my family 1 from ayesha’s (her brother) and like 30-40 friends #which i am so grateful for obviously #i sound like such a brat but it’s also like - watching your family continuously choose drugs/alcohol over showing up for you - lol #AGAIN i’m used to this and expected as much but i’m still feeling bad #just rsvp so i can move on with my life please. stop telling me you’re trying to make it work when we both know you aren’t #i have so much more to say but i’m going to sound crazy even though i knooooow it is homophobia like i Know it #i think there are certain people i will finally go no contact with for good after this #which is a freeing thought but i only invited v few family members to begin with. there’s abt to be no one left lmao #probably for the best #ugh whatever #again i can’t help but feel a certain way when they have done more/traveled further for relatives they hardly know #meanwhile i was forced to spend so much of my life living for these people and for them alone #AAAAAAAA i just want to scream #text