#i think it is i mean. ive literally said it a billion times

[mrs-kelly]

hands shaking like you guys know I love Charlie right. you know he's my whole world and i love him so dearly right. that literally every time i see him my day is brightened even if ive been looking at him all day. you know that right ajfklds

#i say this like i dont post about him 20+ times a day ajfkdsl #but sometimes i get hit with this wave of love and im like #is it clear JUST how much i love him?? like really?? #is it clear that he's so special to me in a way that's different from any other f/o i've ever had?? #i think it is i mean. ive literally said it a billion times #but i think some part of me wants to say it again and again so that i feel like he hears me you know #i hope he knows it somewhere. i hope he does #i feel like he has to bc i can feel how much he loves me too 🥺❤ #ren speaks #renlie #im gushing out here folks

[twistedastrology]

🌊my take on neptune🌊

---------------------------------------------------------

LOOK at that gorgeous fucking planet man-

i wanna start this with a little tiny disclaimer that my take on neptune is very different from the usual and kinda flips a lot of shit on its head so my bad if this makes no sense to u but i wouldn't be uranus ruled if i didnt do shit crazy different would i 💔💔

THAT BEING SAID!!!!!! LETS GET INTO IT BABEY!!!!

let's start with what I'm dismantling-

in modern astrology, neptune is often considered the higher octave of venus and is known as the planet of spirituality or higher love. ive seen a lot of ppl say that neptune is associated with hollywood, which makes no fucking sense to me but whatever yknow to each their own-

neptune is also known as the ruler of pisces, and is exalted in cancer, the sign the moon rules.

I am about to flip a Whole fuckton on its head here so strap in and give me ur brain for a second 💔💔

neptune, the god, is the roman counterpart to poseidon, and poseidon rules over the sea, storms and earthquakes- generally very chaotic stuff-

poseidon's egyptian equivalent would be Seth, or Set. Seth was the god of chaos, storms, earthquakes, generally very chaotic stuff again.

Seth was also a trickster and, in egyptian mythology, overall kind of an asshole (since he literally chopped up Osiris into like a billion pieces and then scattered him across the earth so- idk kind of a dick move ngl)

but that's what he did!! that was his thing!!! he was the god of chaos!!!! gods of chaos are gonna be kinda assholes!!!!

But what does this mean for neptune- well this means that Neptune would be Seth (and neptune is known for it's deceptive qualities)

now keep that in ur brain as i go off on another tangent that will eventually circle back around to this one-

another proposal i have that may be shocking is that to me, Neptune is the one that rules Cancer, and the moon is the one that rules Pisces.

stay with me here hold on hear me out 💔

since ive been quite literally twisting the fuck out of astrology in my head and debunking cancer myth after cancer myth, I've come to find that cancers are a much more volatile sign than we give them credit for- or at least Can be-

they're not crybabies by any sense of the imagination, and like i said in my post abt cancers and rage, they feel anger more heavily than anything. they can also be very chaotic because they're cardinal water (think tsunamis).

now they're not all bad, dont think im tryna paint em as villains dawg i am literally a cancer rising/mars- but they have a distinct dark side to them that is Not to be fucked with.

cancers are often considered the "mothers" of the zodiac, but that has been watered down to "they're good with kids and probably want kids"- when cancers were Initially considered the mothers of the zodiac, they were talking abt cancers are the Guardians of the Zodiac.

not the galaxy-

now i will say, if a cancer has children, they will be VERY protective of them, but not in a helicopter-y way. more like in a "if you say something bad about their children or threaten to harm their children in any way, they will most likely punch you in the face and knock you out."

they wont bitch at you or be polite about it, they will probably break your face- BREAK YOUR FUCKIN FACE TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!

now, where do cancers get that rage from? who around here borders on being or Is a god of chaos in the zodiac................. seth.

neptune is a much darker, more volatile planet than we give it credit for, just like cancers can be the same- But at the same time, they can both be very pleasant entities-

cancers can easily be some of the nicest people you've ever met, they're incredibly loyal and would probably go to war for you if you meant a lot to them, and they can be VERY and often times Are creative and artistic in some way.

neptune can be a very rewarding planet to work with, it can be incredibly creative because of the depth it represents, and it can put you and guide you on your path to and through spirituality.

neptune ruling cardinal water makes much more sense in this light than it ruling mutable water in my opinion. a planet as potentially volatile as neptune would NOT be mutable.

all of this also comes partially from my slightly different idea of what higher octaves really are- ive seen people say they're the "large scale influence" planets, but i think they're quite literally just the more powerful versions of the planets they're the higher octaves of (so they can and do affect the large scale, but that's not ALL they are).

so the moon in this case would deal with our conscious emotions, our humanity, that level of stuff- which makes more sense for pisces in my opinion- the moon would be more along the lines of the emotions we Think we should feel (mutable) and therefore do- the moon is how we may have Learned to feel, among many other things.

whereas neptune is our deep, inner self. our subconscious emotions, the feelings that penetrate our very soul. neptune is our shadow self, but it's also our higher self. just as the moon has a dark side, neptune has one too, but neptune's dark side is infinitely more painful.

this role switch also makes much more sense at least in my chart, because when looking at the moon as being my chart ruler, my co-ascendant would be pisces, which never made any sense to me- so i chalked it up to "oh well my moon is 1° pisces so it's basically aquarius i guess" which DID make sense

but my moon is still in pisces. My neptune, however, is firmly in aquarius, which explains perfectly why i feel so much more aquarius coded than anything else.

im also like 99% outer planet ruled, mercury being the only inner planet that dominates my chart- my most active planets are mercury, saturn, uranus, neptune and pluto 😮‍💨

HOWVEVEVR!!!!!!

i wanna say that whenever i switch everything up like this, i still find value in normal astrology and often combine it with my twisted version to get the most accuracy possible- so while my neptune and uranus are in mutual reception (aquarius/pisces) but i believe that neptune rules cancer, i still feel that mutual reception but i also still feel the neptune/cancer influence, especially since my ascendant literally starts in the neptune decan of cancer.

and this makes my chart make a lot more sense in terms of neptune too-

if this makes absolutely no fucking sense at all to you then that's fine!!! this is just my personal view on neptune and i honestly still associate a lot of My View of neptune's traits with the moon, which is why i incorporate a multitude of different perspectives into how i interpret everything and it gives me accurate meanings so i see no problem with it-

once it stops being accurate, then there's a problem, but we're not there yet so it's ok 🙏🙏

ultimately u can kinda just take this as food for thought if nothing else!! and if u read this far into my yapping session, god bless fr 😮‍💨 (i am not religious. HAHAHHAA)

#astrology #astrologer #astro observations #astro community #outer planets #my take #neptune #neptune astrology #zodiac signs #cancer zodiac #pisces

[receding-tides]

Do you have any Squid Sisters headcanons?

I pull out my wallet to answer this question and a long folded strip of paper quickly unfolds itself to the ground like a cartoon guy who has a billion photos of his kids

I have so many thoughts about them. I think I've probably mentioned the most prevalent ones (or theyre in stuff ive written) but one thing I'd specifically thought about Callie was like. person who tends to grab peoples arm/shoulder and shake them (often without much thought to the affect on said person) and then she literally did this to Marie in one of the spl3 cutscenes so that was kind of wild. Clearly my vision of this character means that in splatoon 4 we're getting canon bi autistic catgender Callie /j

As for Marie I think she joined a lot of clubs at school and as a result she has a lot of miscellaneous skills/experiences. She can play the piano pretty good. Knows how to lay out a scrapbook in an aesthetically pleasing way. She also joined the archery club for unrelated reasons and that's the main reason she's so good at using a charger now despite not having much time to practice in the actual splatoon era. I think she finds the tri-stringer interesting as a concept but doesn't quite have the dedication to do ink sports now to use it herself. But she could

#I had this half written in my drafts for like a month Whoops. but theyre here now #im the cartoon guy with a billion photos of his kids but like he gets distracted easily

[motherofkittens94]

Ah gee I went to see hozier yesterday and yeah I enjoyed it the music was good but I had such a strange experience right first off this lady pulled me out the queue and put me to the front im used to this part happening and I'm usually kinda glad like yes that’s the one single disability perk right, queue jumping

but also this lady was making me hold her hand which was a bit much like you dont need to do that I can walk but yeah my disability is noticeable i guess and people think theyre doing good but anyway she let me go in ahead and yeah that was great but then I guess she was telling the whole staff about me or something because like literally every other ten minutes some new staff member would corner me ask if I was okay or why I was alone or if was I lost or if I needed help I would say I'm okay not lost im by myself I can manage but then some other person would come later and ask me again if i was okay and if I wanted help and Its like again??

eventually they moved me to the raised platform which is not what i booked ok but fine it is a better view there from thanks but I dont see why people felt the need to be checking me so much i wasnt drunk i wasnt injured i wasn't upset i was not doing anything out of the ordinary nothing that anybody else wasn't also or less even i mean there were very drunk people there and they weren't being asked if they were okay

I mean asking once fine nice even

twice ?understandable but like seven /eight times? Frickin weird leave me alone already I can manage

Like I feel I should be grateful they were helping me and it sort of was and you may think oh but everyone wanted to assist you wouldnt you perfer that? surely worse things could've happened instead you got better treatment thats good right?

Yeah maybe but you know it was going on so often it made me feel self conscious like clearly I was coming off as not normal and /or vulnerable somehow or maybe they didnt believe i was as old as i said i was or idk but i didn't ask for help and didn't really need it either I just wanted to have fun listen to music relax be a regular person like everybody else there

It would've been fine- if i had asked for help - I didn't

Also afterwards they didn't even let me leave until it was nearly empty and then they all waving at me like goodbye sweetie goodbye _like embarrassing how am i ever gonna come back here now after this

and then they made two guys walk with me all down the street because i was going home by myself ive done this same journey a billion times i know what im doing

so anyway thats not even the end of it because next I take the train back and get off my stop someone in the train gets off to ask I'm okay and if I know where to go like yes I'm going home then as I go up the hill this lady is following me annnd then she asks im okay and if i need help as well!

what do you think I'm doing!

like what the hell is wrong with me tonight that nobody thinks I'm okay? I don't know what you think is wrong whats the matter with me huh? I can't work out what I did that made everyone so concerned except just being there

I was by myself fair- i guess if someone was with me all this wouldn't have happened and yeah im a loser and i go to events by myself sometimes so what? its not illegal though is it im twenty eight not bloody five i literally live there I don't need help walking around im not lost I dont need you to pretend to befriend me I did not need help

Maybe i took this all the wrong way because yeah they wanted to help but it felt like every single person was singling me out and letting me know they think I'm strange and that I cant cope

Uncomfortable!

This is what i get for trying to do normal gal activities I guess

#me im an adult and can do things alone #the whole stupid city :umm sweetie no you cant you need assistance y #i dont know if im overreacting or making it a big deal #but did i need this no #shouldve made a drinking game out of how many times i was asked if was i okay #i dont know what to feel about this really #am i unreasonable for this or #was i supposed to enjoy getting special treatment #ugh #personal stuff #shut up bethan

[luveline]

jadie (may i call u that ?) i was wondering how u deal with hate on ur page. does it ever get rlly hard to the point where u think about quitting or something? ive been going through some hate of my own and although im still a small acct and the love outweighs the hate, its still super hurtful and i just wanna know how someone with a following as big as urs would handle it ! thanks so much

you can call me whatever you like!! how I deal with it..

I think it's important to acknowledge that I have a 'bigger' account or a bigger following because if you tallied up the hate to the kindness I'm shown, there's always going to be more love. And I feel like I can stick up for myself more often because I know I've made friends here and have followers that will support me!! So I would definitely say those things are a privilege that I have to help me

That being said, I've definitely noticed a tenfold increase in hate as I gain followers and i think thats natural, it makes sense that the more people that are exposed to me and my writing, the more I will see people who dont like me or my writing. Sometimes I handle it by crying my eyes out, and sometimes I just feel really sick all day. Lots of the time, hate pretty much saps me completely and I find that I don't want to write anymore because you do start to internalise that and feel negatively about yourself. It's always worse when they kind of find the thing you're sensitive about and prod at it.

And hate feels to me like it is in two categories, actual stuff with value and then the troll/bait kind of stuff. Most of the mean anons I receive I block straight away so they can't send anything again. Sometimes I post it because I want my own say, like when I don't agree with the way someone's speaking to me.

Sometimes you get silly cruel ones, and sometimes you see hate and think like??? What does this have to do with me? Fanfic and writing in general can be so skewed toward personal preference because why wouldn't I write what I want to write? This is my hobby and its for fun, and so when you get those "this was awkward' "this was poorly written" "why did insert character do this" I can disregard that pretty easily cos its a comment based on their own perception and preference. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone if you don't want to!

I recently saw someone get a hate anon that said like "you need to use more full stops, I need to take a breath" and it made me laugh because there are literally millions and millions of books and billions of words of fanfic online and that person has seemingly never encountered a run on sentence before? I think you just have to keep in mind that your circle of experience in life is different to other people's , and there will be overlap but often the majority won't, like a Venn diagram. What I'm trying to say is I tend to not take that stuff too personally (though it's still hate, and still annoying!) because that person probably just hasn't realised the world doesn't revolve around them yet!

Hate sucks! We aren't goodreads authors, we aren't offering our work up for a five star rating and asking people to pick it apart, and it's always gonna be gutting when people don't like what we have to offer. But I just try to take it on the chin because rejection is a constant in life, and if you don't wrestle with it I'd imagine I'll turn into a bitter bitch. 😅

tldr: I let myself be upset by it! I give myself space to feel sad but ultimately I reason that you can't please everyone, and you shouldn't want to! Do what makes you happy and the right people will find you and love you for it !!

#sorry if this didnt help!! #jade's asks #ily

[lewishamil10n]

i am respectfully asking for elaboration bcs it makes so much sense when i read it but i need to see your thought process 😍👀💜💜💜💜💜

OK SO BISEXUAL MOVIES LET'S GO

(spoilers under the cut ofc)

the old guard is pretty self-explanatory i think? the canon queer relationship aside, there is definitely an element of... romance? devotion? literal undying love? in the way andy speaks of quynh. the way they look at each other in that scene just before they're taken away!

like.... what is that!!! i'll tell you what it's not - it's not straight lmao. the tenderness! the love!! and idk in general there's just something about charlize theron that is automatically bisexual. maybe it's the haircut. maybe it's the clothing. maybe it's the way she built herself a family that all love each other unconditionally. maybe it's because she's charlize theron and i'm a weak woman. idk. you get it tho!

(also, nile. nile gives off chaotic bi vibes because i said so. you're telling me a straight person would yeet fictional martin shkreli off a building just to kill him? no i do not think they would.)

and then there's inception. i mean we were all there in 2010 when you couldn't open tumblr without seeing about a billion posts about arthur and eames being criminal dreamsharing husbands etc. etc. guess what I'M STILL THERE. the way arthur kept track of where eames was ("eames? no, he's in mombasa.") the way eames's reaction to hearing arthur's name was "MMMMMMM aaaarthur" and that Look. like there was always this implication that they know each other really well and there's something Between them that had them not on the best of terms initially. gut feeling says it's cobb, somehow. arthur is very loyal to cobb, while eames has no qualms calling him out on his bullshit. makes sense to me that eames would have Problems with arthur, an accomplished dream thief on his own, following cobb around like a puppy on whatever harebrained scheme cobb's cooked up this time to try to get back to his family.

also. the matching totems. eames constantly teasing arthur during the planning stage. then "you mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling." the way arthur panics only when he's afraid eames might've been shot in the car chase on the first level, and doesn't panic so much about saito, the billionaire who's funding the entire thing. the way he helps eames with his IV on the second level, when he knows full well eames can do it himself. "security will run you down hard." "and i will lead them on a merry chase." "just be back before the kick." "go to sleep, mr. eames." THE INTRICATE RITUALS OF TELLING SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT THEM WITHOUT SAYING THE WORDS THEMSELVES. like not to make the entire thing about a ship but again, it's about the way they're so aware of each other. also, tom hardy's presence also makes everything bisexual. in fact considering the previous movie and this one i'm surprised i forgot to mention mad max so maybe that'll get an honorary mention later on.

also, whatever cobb and saito had going on. cobb pining after his dead wife but also going all fucking out for saito. yes yes i know he wanted to go back to his family, but what even is "take a leap of faith. come back, so we can be young men together again" like you only knew each other for what, two weeks before this?? "i've been waiting for someone from a half-remembered dream" for decades??? you had no reason to believe he wouldn't abandon you in limbo or lose himself? you waited all this while and like. limbo is supposed to turn your brain to, as eames so eloquently put it, scrambled egg, right? and yet. and yet here's saito, and he remembers cobb, all these years in limbo and he waited. an old man filled with regret waiting to die alone? what regret could saito possibly have had? ...other than cobb. and maybe saito thinks that to cobb it's just about the agreement, but the way cobb looks at him when he sees him again, "to be young men together again" not even "young men again." he said "young men together again." it's not straight, i am telling you. i am not a cobb enjoyer but i am SO fascinated by him and saito honestly. pretty sure fandom would've been all over this ship if it wasn't for cobb's entire personality.

then again tenet. mr. christopher nolan why are your movies Like this. the protagonist going along with everything neil says. the cryptic smile neil has when he talks to the protagonist. the way he looks at him when the protagonist isn't looking. so many unspoken things. neil knowing he's dead from the beginning of the story. neil knowing the protagonist will live. neil knowing the protagonist better than he knows himself. "well i prefer club soda" a smile. "no you don't." the protagonist wondering if there's any way to change things, to make it so that neil lives. neil knowing there isn't. a love story lived forwards and backwards at the same time. you're going to die in your best friend's arms and you play along because it's funny, because it's written down, because you've memorized it, it's all you know. i don't know man there is just something inherently bisexual about all these hyper masculine action movie heroes and the way they'd die for each other. the way they look at each other, the way they always choose each other. and robert pattinson plays it SO well. you know you're going to die and you are with someone who doesn't know you yet and you love him and one day you know he'll love you too but you will not be around to see it. time is a circle and love is a circle and you are always going to be on the opposite ends of the diameter of it. you will die to save his life and in the meantime you will yearn because you can't tell him. i am going to SCREAM.

which brings us to mission impossible 4 aka ghost protocol aka the one where tom cruise runs down the side of the world's tallest building aka the best MI movie ever there i said it. first of all can i just say that it's extremely funny to me how jeremy renner did not want to be in this movie and tom cruise literally kept calling him until he said yes. then there's also the story about jeremy renner doing the stretchy thing he does on set, tom cruise seeing it, and going like "oh we are SO putting that in the movie" and i thank him for it. thank you mr. cruise.

i mean this gif btw:

yes, tom cruise insisted on this being included in the movie.

N E WAY. right off the bat we get the impression there's something we don't know about brandt. helpless little analyst who watches his boss get shot in the head right before the car they're in is punted into a river, and he lets himself be rescued by ethan hunt. he's supposed to be out of his depth trying to save the world in the field as opposed to from behind a desk, and yet there's a competence to him that's frightening. something is not adding up. that fight scene in the burj khalifa was actually SO fucking sexy — brandt's competence showing up when needed. ethan seeing him take down people as easy as pie and going all "i am SO suspicious and also SO turned on right now." the gun scene when they're hiding from the sandstorm, the way brandt disarms ethan within seconds. AND THEN. the Secret. the Shared History. brandt revealing that julia hunt's death was on him. that's the singular incident that took him out of the field. the guilt of it is so overwhelming he can barely look ethan in the eye. ethan choosing to trust him anyway and brandt accepting that trust, doing everything he can to help. the fact that he's paralleled with ethan himself when he jumps down that shaft in mumbai (and when ethan broke into the CIA in the first movie). the relieved little laugh he does when he finds out ethan knew who he was all along, and that julia is alive. the way ethan tells only him that she's alive, and not benji who KNEW her, who mourned her. not even luther, who also knew and mourned her.

hell, even the sequel to this movie is bi as fuck. like you have these gorgeous women in these movies, i am telling you my crush on jane carter is fucking GINORMOUS, there's ilsa faust, and yet it's brandt that ethan continues to be compelled by. brandt that he has all these interesting narrative entanglements with. the way the fifth movie was set up to show us brandt's internal conflict — his job vs ethan, and then we find out it wasn't ever a conflict at all. he protected ethan and kept him safe even when everyone else thought he was a sellout and a traitor. he literally fed the CIA false information to keep ethan safe while also keeping himself there as a useful mole on the inside. he left it all behind when luther told him ethan needed them. and luther didn't even trust him, and brandt KNEW it. he KNEW no one in there thought much of him, and yet he went, and he risked everything, and he did what he could to help. the way the movie set up brandt and ethan to make us think brandt would betray him, the way we didn't know brandt's true loyalties at any given time even though brandt himself always knew, and ethan always knew. the reveal that brandt never betrayed ethan, that they'd been in on the whole thing together the entire time. idk it's just COMPELLING.

and like even aside from the plot. ethan hunt is this legend within the IMF, right. even his friends kind of look at him with this weird hero worship. look at how benji acts around him. luther doesn't, but luther has been with him so long and he's got this impression of like, ethan as some infallible being. he never really questions him because he has no reason to. in his experience, ethan has rarely been wrong. ethan is not used to being questioned by these people at all. there's that inequality in their dynamics always because they see him as this mildly insane man who'll live forever out of sheer spite and who's indestructible to them, so they always go along with whatever he says. and then along comes william brandt, and he can barely look ethan in the eye but he sure as shit can disagree with him, he can call him out when he's wrong, he can find a better way of doing things. he's the only one that speaks to ethan on an equal level because he doesn't consider ethan a god of some sort – he sees him as he is. he sees the person ethan is instead of the agent and idk it's just. he's an analyst, right. it's his entire JOB to know people. he can read them in seconds, he's intelligent as fuck, and he's the one person that challenges ethan. that tells him give me a reason to believe you, to follow you. prove to me you know what you're doing. i'll follow you to the ends of the earth - but i need you to prove to me why you deserve it. and that is fucking amazing, ok. i'll forever be mad we didn't get brandt in mi:6 and probably not in mi:7 too because his dynamic with ethan was far more interesting to me than ethan's dynamics with benji, luther, OR ilsa.

honorary mention: mad max

a dudebro film to some, a bisexual movie to others. either way, charlize theron and tom hardy is a powerful combination. a movie where the woman is the protagonist and the man is the supporting character? where he's a character in HER story? he's supporting HER mission. fucking amazing. they're fighting the Man and they're freeing the women he abused and they're allied with elderly lesbians on bikes. there are cars. there are car chases. there is the war machine. there is charlize theron's buzzcut. so much to love. so little heterosexuality. SO fucking here for it.

#I'M SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BUT I ALWAYS HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT MOVIES #asks #effervescentdragon #akira #mad max #mission impossible #tenet #inception #the old guard #movies

[asharkapologist]

Anakin Skywalker Appreciation Week, Pt 3

(whoops. This is late.)

Day three: favorite relationship.

Anakin honestly has a lot of really interesting relationships with people around him. The prequels and The Clone Wars show how much women affect his life, which is something that’s always stuck out to me. TCW also does an excellent job showing Anakin’s relationship with people who will be a major part of the Empire. One of my favorite underrated moments of TCW is when Anakin and Tarkin were shown chatting during the Citadel escape arc about how the Jedi sometimes don’t go far enough in battle, and generally getting along quite well (TCW in general makes it quite clear that Tarkin was a sociopath long before he murdered billions of people on Alderaan in Episode IV, something I rather like. Tarkin didn’t need order from a tyrannical empire to turn him into a sociopath. He was a horrible person for a long time.)

But honestly, out of all of the interesting relationships Anakin has with various people in his life, I’m going to have to say that I'm going to talk about his relationship with Padmé. Maybe I’m just a sucker for tragic romances. And yes, I know their relationship is ultimately toxic. It literally ends with him trying to kill her. Let me explain what I mean before you call me stupid or accuse me of supporting toxic/abusive relationships.

So my feelings on Anidala are undoubtedly complicated. Like other people have said, they aren’t exactly a paragon of ideal relationships. There’s a bunch of reasons why they’re unhealthy, like Anakin’s somewhat creepy behavior in AotC (though he respects Padmé’s boundaries more than Han respect’s Leia’s in ESB, and that is a hill I will die on), her willingness to overlook many red flags throughout the prequels and TCW without really sitting down with him and talking with him (with the one exception of in the Clovis arc but I hate that arc so much for a multitude of reasons that go beyond Anakin and Padmé’s relationship and besides by the end of the arc they’ve hit the reset button and immediately get over their argument), and yeah, their relationship ends with him trying to murder her post-fall. Yeah, not very good. But I want to more talk about why I think their relationship is interesting, compelling, and tragic, and focus on her role with Anakin’s arc.

Anakin’s certainly a romantic, and Padmé is too, in different ways. I really like how Anakin ultimately falls to the Dark Side to try to save Padmé from death, because in a way, this is kind of like a lot of male action heroes that were in movies that were coming out around the prequels, like Spider-Man and Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible (I don’t remember his character’s name, and I’m definitely not going to bother to look it up). But it’s really more than that, a deconstruction, really of the “save the girl” mentality. TV Tropes puts it best:

Anakin's character is a massive deconstruction of [the ‘Always Save the Girl’ trope]. He adamantly refuses to give up on those he loves, even though the Jedi preach [non-attachment], and even when giving up is the healthiest thing to do. The loss of his mother is the first time he truly fails, which causes him to rage out and murder everyone within reach, and Obi-Wan only barely manages to convince him that they should prioritize capturing Dooku over going back to get Padmé. When he starts getting nightmares of his wife dying in childbirth, Palpatine exploits this by offering a way to save her, but only if he embraces the dark side. Even Anakin's final betrayal of the Jedi reflects this trope, both since he needs Palpatine to save Padmé (or so he thinks), and because he wants to save the kind old man who was always there for him.

(link to that page: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AlwaysSaveTheGirl)

In a lot of instances, the hero saves the girl and the world. But Anakin just ends up killing both. There’s something really fascinating about characters that would let the world (or galaxy in this case) burn in order to save someone they love. A lot of times, this is portrayed as admirable, and the hero often manages to save all of their friends and the world. Not here, though.

Anakin obviously had a bunch of psychological issues and trauma, but, as Obi-Wan says in the Revenge of the Sith novelization, Anakin’s relationship with Padmé was one of the few things that brought him joy, and even though Obi-Wan is widely regarded by a lot of people as the personification of the ideal Jedi, he was willing to mostly ignore Anakin and Padmé’s obvious relationship/Anakin breaking the Jedi Code, with the exception of a few comments here and there. And that’s what hurts. Because even though Anakin ends up destroying everything and everyone who might have cared about him, Padmé made him happy. And yeah, their on-screen relationship, especially in AotC is a bit, uh, rocky (although they do actually have chemistry in the AotC novelizations, although the author also keeps in some of Anakin’s awkwardness), but they are clearly happy together, they make each other happy. They’ll have genuinely cute moments, like the meadow scene in AotC (I like that scene okay!) and throughout TCW, and at the start of RotS, which just makes it more tragic knowing what’s coming, and seeing the blatant red flags in their relationship, and thinking “if things were different. If they just had really long talks. If Palpatine didn’t exist. If they didn’t have to hide their relationship (considering a relationship built on lies and deception struggles to be a healthy/ideal one).” I know that their relationship is far from ideal and was loaded with issues. But it’s just sad because they were obviously in love with each other very much (the whole ‘Anakin mind-tricked her into falling in love with him’ theory is the worst theory in Star Wars I’m sorry), but there were still issues and red flags and toxicity there that were made worse by Anakin having unresolved trauma, his upbringing by a very anti-romance organization, a war going on, Palpatine existing, and Padmé’s general unwillingness to really take caution due to those red flags. But I genuinely believe that if there wasn’t a war, if Anakin left the Jedi and/or if therapists or something existed, they would have had a healthy domestic life together.

But ultimately, all that rambling aside, Anakin is definitely an emotional romantic, something that I think is rather refreshing in male heroes. Somewhat off topic, but I had a rather sexist teacher one time say that in a marriage, women are emotional and men are rational. That is certainly not the case with Anakin and Padmé. She’s the one initially listing all the reasons why them getting together wouldn’t be a good idea, regardless of their feelings for each other, and in Revenge of the Sith, when she tells him that she’s pregnant, she’s the one who still expresses her worries and concerns about said pregnancy, while Anakin is more overjoyed than worried.

I mean, look at that face. Yeah, I definitely believe him when he says that this is the happiest moment of his life. It's telling when even prequel haters admit that the above scene is pretty good.

In another movie with a happy ending, this would all be very heartwarming. Anakin doesn’t care what happens to his social status and position in the Jedi Order as long as he can be together with his wife and child(ren.)

And you better believe I read Anidala fix-its/fanfics on Ao3.

#asaw2022 #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #anidala #sw meta #star wars movies #star wars prequels #sheev palpatine #the clone wars #tcw #star wars analysis

[alright-gay-two]

My mom sent me a text with the word "folx" in it and I haven't responded because it's making me want to combust. I cannot think of a polite way to ask her to never send me a gender neutral word with an x thrown in it for no reason ever fucking again because it's making me go feral.

Idk I'm just thinking about when i came out and I didn't want to and everything went to hell and the only thing I asked is that they make an effort to use my pronouns and they said they would try. And then my dad literally never tried (he sent texts to my mom about me that would have they in it like once and she a billion times and my mom would show me and be like see look how HARD he's trying!!!! Like ma'am he's trying to get back on your good side after he fucked up the dogs face and then refused to let you take him to the vet because they would think he's a dog beater ((he was)) so forgive me if I'm not feeling the love for something he's preformatively doing for only you to see) and my mom uses them sometimes and then mostly just says my name a lot and throws a she in there when she's said Katie too much in a sentence. Like you could just use my pronouns like I asked you to when I came out to you 7 years ago instead of sending me words that are already gender neutral but with an x (to be inclusive!!!!! :-) ) so you can feel like you're showing you support me without having to commit to the thing I asked you to do to support me

Anyway its getting me thinking about how I literally never directly tell anyone my pronouns because I don't want to experience being misgendered on purpose and once I break that seal it's like. Cool that you're not putting an effort in. It makes it impossible for me to want to maintain any kind of relationship. But lately there have been people in my life who I'm not expecting to use my pronouns because I've (purposefully) not told them and they've found out through other means and started using them anyway and it feels uh. Really good. Which has me thinking maybe I need to reevaluate my stance on never telling anyone my pronouns directly?? And the more I'm thinking about it the more it's like. Fuck. Did I really let myself get so beaten down by a fear of rejection and disregard for the bare minimum that I've packed it away in a neat little box and tell myself it's fine because no one can hurt me if it's in the box!! :) but at the same time it just feels exhausting to have to bring out my pronouns with every interaction and then hope I don't get hurt. Idk I'm working on uh. Being able to do things that make me uncomfortable with my therapist and like. Trying not to pack everything away as soon as I get nervous that it could potentially hurt me and this feels like something I should be able to advocate for but. It's in the box. The box is safe. I can't be upset with people misgendering me if they don't know they're doing it and everything gets to stay nice and safe and unhurt in the box. Every time I feel my soul shrivel up a bit more I just break it off and put it in the box and it doesn't matter that everyone will always think of me as a girl because the box is redirecting the feeling of rejection that I cannot deal with. The box holds on to all my trust issues and keeps them safe. And this probably has nothing to do with the ongoing issue I have with my parents not using my pronouns after being the only people ive directly told "it is important to me that you put an effort into using my pronouns" and being so shitty when I came out. That one hasn't been able to fit into the box for years now

[nimphontheshore]

7 months and my response to you.

I’m always so grateful, for everything that makes you… You. I know it’s probably silly, but your words can literally make me weep out of nostalgia. You know why? I remember this Nereid, just a year ago, right after I confessed, who was telling me that she’s not really opening up — in general… who doesn’t really get vulnerable around people; almost like she didn’t want to. But truth is, she was being vulnerable just by talking to me about it. At that moment, I felt that I had a glance inside this Nereid, Yeah, and I’ve made my mission to make her feel safe and seen around me. Even though I have always been a silly boy, I really just needed her to be ready, to feel like she could talk to me; and that I would keep anything she might feel close to my heart, good and bad. And look at her now? Confessing to me on our day… And to be honest, doing this everyday. Ain’t I lucky? But adding to that… That’s one of my greatest joy knowing you feel that safe, with me. That you’re not afraid of being seen entirely, and that you know I fall for you even more to your words and that I fall deeper and deeper — as if it was infinite. You always say that you’re not always so good with your feelings but I really think you’re perfect at it. When you find the words, they are always so good, and I relate to them so much.

For example, when you said you found that crazy, that we found each other in this really big ass world; I relate so much, you know? I’ve thought about this recently; I’ve stumbled upon a really cheesy sentence that went like “There’s 7.5 billion smiles on this planet and yours is my favorite” and that’s. Literally. It. Among all people walking this earth, I wouldn’t even look at someone else.

Or… when you said that you feel like we’re connected, that there’s something invisible, unsaid and yet, right there. A connexion that can’t be explained, et pourtant, dont on a conscience. And i feel that so much. Sometimes I don’t need to explain myself more than that, I know you know; I know you feel like I feel, I know you know… How much you’re meant for me, to me; how I would always do things for you, for us. That it will forever be you. That thought reassures me, you know. I’m a clumsy boy, I’ve been clumsy a lot since we started dating; and I’m always scared that you would get tired of those silly mistakes — or things I don’t notice — and run away. I know… insecurities. But at the end of the day, like I said, there’s something between us that makes perfect sense. You trust me, you feel me, you know I’m here for you. Days and nights, only you that really matter. The rest is just accessory, something I can go without.

So, yeah. You always find the right words. Better than me, even. Even do I talk a lot. And I’m so grateful for that, I’m so damn in love. It’s hella crazy? I’m still so excited to reply to you, to see you pop up. I get nervous, sometimes, just like a silly boy in front of his crush; I get insecure as if I was not secured as your boyfriend yet… I get so many emotions that feel so new alors que. They aren’t. I’m yours, ive been for quite some time yeah.

My whole entire world revolves around you. Really. And I can’t picture one without you in it, what meaning would it have? Absolutely none. I don’t even know how I managed to get through life for twenty-five years. I swear Doll, I swear. Couple of months before I met you, I was literally thinking of… well, yk. Just like I did a lot those past few years. I was such a mess, and I was so scared of the future. I’ve never ever pictured myself wanting to live, enjoying life, and even its struggles. Yes, its still tough sometimes, I still have a lot of traumas (I don’t like this word it makes me ick as if I was so woke on twitter please. It has almost lost is scientific meaning for me lol…), processing grief, lot of anxiety management but. Overall. I’m really doing good, I’m really happy, I would fucking beg for my life if I needed to do so. And that’s also the weird thing. And you know that already, you appeared to me just before, what I thought would be the hardest day of my entire life, and weirdly enough, it wasn’t. But you were here, you were this « new » thing, and I was so drawn to you, like I had to, like it was my answer. And you were, you really are my answer. You literally are the reason why I’m full of love right now, you’re the reason why I’m doing well, that I’m so happy, that I’m in shape, well enough to give back this love that I’m receiving. You’re the answer to everything in my life, and i see it so clearly now. I don’t function when you’re not around, its like I’m missing a whole lung and that I’m dying from an incurable illness. For real. I really fucking need you, and I will be on my knees until my last breath; because you’re the one with my whole life in your hands. Well… Okay. Out loud that sounds psycho. That even sounds like manipulation… It’s okay baby! I’m not that psycho. You know I ain’t~~~ More seriously. I will always root for you, my love. And I’m so so so happy knowing you feel safe with me, that you trust me with everything just as I trust you.

The most important thing for me is to see you happy. Whatever the cost, whatever that means now or in the future. You’re the only thing that matters to me and it feels so great, so reassuring, knowing that every step of the way, you’re gonna be right by my side. Everything feels easier knowing that,

Thank you again so much for your words and those seven months. And whole ass year. I will keep doing my best to take good care of you, suffocate you with my nerdiness, silliness, and most importantly. Love. I will do what I can to make any other day exciting or different and I promise you, I can always surprise you (well, I still hope so).

I love learning about you every other day, even when I feel like I know everything. I will have all my life to get wiser from your love and for who you are. I learn from you and your passion, always. And I’m so proud of the woman I have facing me. She’s extraordinary, and she is all mine.

My love is made for you, every bit of it. It didn’t exist before, and there’s no after if it’s not with you.

Ton Kier

[callmeratboy]

Would you believe it if i was complaining yet again about the nuances of capitalism and how it rewards the selfish, who create problems, and hurts those who create for the sake of creating in and of itself?

#i speak to myself about it a lot #like i physically have to say it out loud #three goals #goal 1: tax the rich (literally the simplest thing ever seriously how are they gonna spend all those billions) #goal 2: full health care coverage required by jobs (if the taxes for the rich dont go for this already) #goal 3: allow people to build portfolios throughout high school and make it easier to get jobs this way #to elaborate this means the last 2 years of hs should be spent looking for internships and resume/portfolio building #and then jobs base who they hire on that obv (no college degree required bc your skill should be shown by this already) #if we tax the rich and use the taxes to fund the schools more then qe could have more electives amd this would be possible #and the rich (obv all of em own companies) pay for the healthcare of every single one of those employees #after all-people always say theres no wag to spend billions of dollars-i think ive found a solution #this decreases the gap between the rich and middle class (and hopefully makes it easier for poor people to work) so social mobility is well #and keep in mind its still very well possible to be reasonably wealthy and have luxury items such as $2000 life size jojo figures #it just wouldnt b insanely wealthy like hundreds per second or millions per day #oh there is one problem #the system would ruin capitalism since capitalism principles relies on the wealth ceiling #so wed have to create a new economic system #which is entirely plausible but a lot of people think capitalism=america and therefore shouldnt be altered even one bit #99% of social problems can be solved with increase taxes on the rich but that wouldnt be very capitalist #also i realise ive said 'tax the rich' the whole time instead of 'increase taxes on the rich' and i would like to correct myself there #i understand that they are taxed it just isnt anything to them at all aha

[wizzycore]

the thing about karamelle is that it tries to have 2 separate plots going on at once and it fails. the Cabal plotline (the disappearance of the Old One) and the Corporate plotline (the strikes and unions and propaganda and whatnot). The plots are so utterly disconnected. You can explain one without even mentioning the other. as a young author, i can tell you: that is BAD WRITING. Things need to connect. Plotlines must be weaved together like rope, not simply placed side by side like hay.

like, at least Zafaria's individual plot (finding the missing students) connects to the overall plot of Arc 2 (stopping morganthe), because Morganthe actively split the students up and kidnapped the Prince to recover something that'd aid her in her own goals. As you quest through the world you slowly discover how deep her influence runs, and slowly piece together her plot. It builds her as a villain, albeit only subtly.

oh yeah for sure like this is mad well written, (your ask i mean) i just really fucking hate zafaria because im a hater. im sorry to morganthe im just a little hater. idk something about fighting the elephant guy a billion times and also the weird way zafaria gets treated by the narrative (whitely) just makes me not like it.

see heres the thing i actually had a BETTER time there in zafaria than im having so far here. also thank you everybody for being very courteous about not spoiling the dip-end of karamelle for me! i appreciate u all very much for being careful.

anywho, you're exactly right! hell i didn't even think about how much the two plots do not mesh at all i was too busy burning with rage about the way yw was absolutely just jerked around thruout it so far.

OH, yeah, so! LOOOONG rant below. ill just cap it under a read below. here we go.

soooo MY personal gripe with the writing of karamelle so far is just....... it both assumes the player is extremely smart and extremely stupid -- things that have been explained by characters (example - GRETA) in one moment is immediately ignored for the next 20 quests because the story assumes you didn't read it, and makes the wizard look like a total idiot. but THEN, because we no longer have the anchor of a narrator (which, though it doesn't, in my heart makes this feel sooo much messier), we're left to try and divulge information from so many unreliable narrators, so often that we're left with genuinely Nothing to work with in EITHER plot. I *really* wanted to be a part of both plots! I gave them both such a chance! And the old one/cabal plot TRIES to be a faux-murder mystery, but it doesn't follow up on that because it drunkenly falls into the unionizing plot (i.e the frankly obnoxious half-truths that von trap seems obsessed with dropping before leaving) instead of delivering meanful information to the player!!!!!

there was one moment where i genuinely said, "okay, yw cannot be doing this, are we hypnotized right now?" and my friend said, "no, but i appreciate your leaps to try and make this make sense", and then seconds later we heard a piece of dialogue that genuinely made them think "no, maybe you're right". i just. god. this world seems like it had such good BONES, is the thing!

i think another place where this paradoxical player is smart/player is stupid blunder occurs is in actually just the delivery of the themes of the unionization plot. every post ive seen so far seems to talk about this the most LOL. like........ the themes could NOT be more hamfisted. its sort of as though they expected that the market they were writing for in arc 1 had to suddenly digest themes with a level of complexity that the audience for arc 3 was used to. except arc 1 writing was literally more complex than this.

ACTUALLY, i take that back. the writing in karamelle IS complex -- but i mean that INCREDIBLY derogatorily. the writing is complex because its convoluted, because we're handfed so many dead-ends and lies in the haste to try and MAKE the player understand that this is a propaganda driven society (DESPITE the fact that in the past "propaganda" such as the old one existing in the first place or, say, grandfather spider being real (stretch) were true) that the story just handwaves away from the INCREDIBLY obvious, child-media level of obvious, themes and tries to direct the player towards some bullshit they won't need 10 levels from then, just in an ATTEMPT at complexity.

not to stan empryea, but im going to compare really quickly to the nimbus section of empryea. nimbus has the same bones as karamelle does. two groups, both giving false information, interfering and fucking with the player at every moment. but from the MOMENT you enter nimbus you can feel somethings off (and, actually, we in my discord server were somewhat dissatisfied with how long it took to uncover what we had already figured out) (and secondly, it's less in your face than karamelle. good lord.) and the buildup is TANGIBLE. the discovery of clues as to what happened to sparck and his parents, what side people are truly on, and what their plans are, are CONSISTENT. they are SOMEWHAT SUBTLE. and they build up to something EMOTIONAL and IMPORTANT to the PLAYER (bat!! the chains!!). nimbus does, admittedly, do its share of thinking the player is stupid -- but it doesn't IMPEDE the story. the red herrings given are distracting but in a way that makes sense narratively.

AND!!!! the themes of the effects of militarism, the conflict between science and religion or magic, the themes of blood and what that means, they aren't as CRAMMED down the players throat. you are free to interpret the events, to understand them and what they mean underneath the setting, and most importantly to understand what they mean for the player!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGHHH!!!! and the only time they fail at this is sacrificing complexity for comedy (niles) (but its funny so it gets a pass).

karamelle, i gotta say, takes all the minor flaws of the nimbus storyline and cranks them up to ten, and then adds a couple more on for good measure.

and (my last rant point) karamelle just. Isn't Enjoyable. Even if you look past all of the story blunders, even if you look past the age old "ah, the first world of any arc isn't necessarily going to be perfect", even if you look past the INCREDIBLY crammed in theme conveying.... karamelle isnt fun!!!!! the (as my dnd dm friend says) railroading is a constant frustration, the locations are dreary (purposeful, yes, but to push a point the audience ALREADY UNDERSTANDS!!!!!), and it feels as though you can take no action that counts whatsoever. your hand is dragged by von trap more than your hand has ever been dragged before. all of the folktale and fairytale references are simple headnods at most and never incorporated very much into the story, and the locations that are fun to look at you never stay in very long.

i understand that the story is meant to be heavy, but the khrysalis storyline is said to be the heaviest one ever executed, and yet you feel engaged and BOPPING to the storybeats all the way through. (well, if you can get through all of the quests.) (luckily, in a pure force of hyperfixation, i stayed engaged and boppin the whole time). and, i realize that this may be a reaction to what fans felt were what they liked least about, say, mellori -- the excessive comical relief. well, in karamelle, i feel as though they struggled to find a middle point. not just in comedy but in immersion, in creativity, and in the level of enjoyment the average player might have.

soooo. yeah.

#w101 #wizard101 #karamelle spoilers #long post

[lyalii]

Nat’s 2020 Appreciation Post

Because the Mando/Pedro Pascal fandom is just the best (no you can’t argue with that point, it’s not opinion, it is scientific fact) I’m here to give some awards to yall

LOOONGGGG so under the cut

The ‘Just Read Their Entire Masterlist Literally I Can’t Pick A Favorite’ Award goes to:

@softpedropascal : Not only a talented writer but also the queen of Frankie like im pretty sure ive read the entire Frankie hc masterlist like four times and her Pragma series twice so...

@frannyzooey : y’all know how i feel... I did not start 2020 wishing to be a brothel girl in the Wild West but here i am...Everyday I wake up and think “Damn...I hope Gracie is having a good day.” Not to mention the very hot and decadent Frankie Box Set series.

@filthybookworm​ : Cris I haven’t actually read your entire masterlist yet but from what i have read, every word you type turns to gold. You’re a word alchemist my friend! 

@dindjarindiaries : Where do I begin? Not only am I a full time resident in her ask box but I just finished Security and wowowowowow ok the talent!! And Touch It Softly, Take it Off, Behave, and Mine are some of my favorite non-descriptive smut/spice i’ve ever read.

@keeper0fthestars : I wish i had a big enough thesaurus to express the talent but alas, smol brain tired words too hard. YOU MAAM HAVE MADE ME CRY ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION!

@auty-ren: Her. Dark. Mando. has. my. knees. and. p****. weak. enough. said.

The “You Should Still Read Their Entire Masterlist But I Can Pick a Favorite” Award goes to:

Dust by @etchedbox: Just started. Fucking amazing.

Dusty Trails by @hdlynnslibrary : US Marshal Din? Inject directly into my veins please

honeycomb by @goldafterglow : Idk why this isn’t on my 21st century literature reading list this semester...doesn’t make sense but alas...

Curriculum Vitae by @tiffdawg: MY FAVORITE JAVI SERIES EVER!

maybe next year by @huliabitch: made me cry so hard...like multiple times throughout the day...

Quixotic Series by @jangofctts : yeah that’s the good shit right there

toccare by @hansoulo​ oh yes yes this one is just so good

The ‘Writers on the Rise” Award (aka just found them/just started writing/just started reading their stuff award but holy shit they’re amazing award):

@dindadjarin: Just posted her first fic but omg its so soft and sweet and incredible!

@miss-me-jack: i’ve read a few of her works and its like reading poetry...so beautiful

@moonlit-djarin : Read a beautiful fic by them and can’t wait for more!

The “Rough Day” award goes to: 

@no-droids : i mean, it better...

The “FUCK YOU (lovingly)” Award goes to all the writers that pulled me into the Dave York pit let me repeat FuCk yall oh my GoD I hATE him watch your head when you descend into their filthy pit y’all.

@ohpedromypedro @frannyzooey @filthybookworm @zeldasayer

The “Thanks for Reminding Me What Tears Are” Award goes to:

@aerynwrites​ for Trust is a Fragile Thing and Tragedy

@dindjarindiaries for Irrevocable and Alleviation

The “Thanks for Making Me Smile in Hell Year 2020″ Award goes to:

@thisisthe-wayson for Fried this is just the cutest thing dasjfsd;kjdfsfh

The “Your Fic Lives In My Mind Rent Free Please Pay Up Rent Is Due on the 8th of the Month” Award goes to:

@jollyrancher87 for Thunder

@heatherbel for Desideratum

@mostly-megan for Temptation of Bliss (Frontier!Frankie...enough said)

Okay those are all the specific fics and writers I can think of at the moment and I probably missed a billion incredible writers but just know I love and appreciate every single one of you whether you were mentioned or not! You all have made 2020 a lot more bearable and I cannot wait to read your incredible fics in the future!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

#appreciation post #lets give them a round of applause!!!!

[wickedpact]

I saw someone comment that if nicky and joe actually had a speed-run version of a romance it wouldn't be much better than rey/kylo (ie: nicky's redemption should be a *process* and not a single act; it'd take more than just "i'm switching sides and fighting with you" for joe to truly forgive him... which is ENTIRELY reasonable/understandable) - do you think the comparison is fair? (I mean, Nicky wasn't a space nazi but he WAS an indoctrinated religious radical)

well..... no, for a variety of reasons (allow me to say beforehand that i dont really... hate r*ylo or r*ylo in general but im.. hm, not a fan of the ship or the sequel trilogy)

edit: i am actually going to put this under a cut bc its longer than i thought it was when i wrote it

first of all i think theres something to be said abt the fact that ben (im just gonna call him ben so this post doesnt come up in search) is a space nazi. hes part of a fictional group of people who oppress a different fictional group of people, despite having some inspiration taken from rl. nicky was part of an invasion force that existed in real history, a part of a war that has had far-reaching effects in the real world to this day. as much as nicolo himself is fictional, neither the crusades nor the ideologies that had a part in fueling them are. so it feels a bit crass to compare the two.

(also like.. man, the sith blew up two (three?) planets. thats like several billion people each, how are you supposed to compare almost cartoonish villainy like that to real life?)

secondly ben had like... presumably more power over the situation than nicky did, idk what the situation is for ben’s backstory in canon terms rn, (its been more or less retconned a couple times i believe), but ben was the child of two powerful and privileged people and likely received all the education in the world on why Murder And Fascism Bad.

he was like? supposedly groomed by snoke, but what does that even mean? anakin went to the dark side bc he valued the life of his wife more than the lives of all the jedi. simple as that. he was manipulated but he still willingly assisted in a genocide to achieve his own personal goals, how can you just step back and say ‘ben was manipulated into it its not his fault’ when he no doubt knew better that Blowing Up Planets Bad. but then even on top of that.. .we dont really know nicky’s exact situation prior to the crusades which brings me to the next point,

what we know abt nicky’s mindset in the crusades era:

greg said once that ‘it was a time of religious hatred’ which is. vague.

one of the promo vids said nicky was ‘ a young knight who had left the priesthood behind to follow the crusade ‘ which is.. vague

nicky himself said ‘he was taught to hate’ joe’s ‘people’ which is... vague

the comics shows a dialogue-less couple of panels of joe and nicky killing each other which is..................... vague

we really dont know that much about nicky’s situation other than he was ‘taught to hate’, which is how all hatred works, hatred isnt a biologically ingrained behavior, its always taught. ‘taught to hate’ can mean everything from someone slapping him on the back one day and going ‘hey those muslims suck’ to full ass brainwashing, who tf knows. we can only guess based off historical information, and tog has proven itself to not be historically accurate several times over now. so you really cant compare nicky’s mindset to ben’s bc we dont know what nicky’s mindset was.

but even then theres a difference between ‘i was taught incorrect information and i formerly believed i was doing a good thing and i now am beginning to realize that i am not’ and ‘ive been knowingly evil (literally red lightsaber and all) for literal years but ive just decided to change my mind bc i had a vision of my father (whomst i murdered) asking me to be good again’

(i mean come on, ben was actively resisting his good impulses. ‘forgive me i feel the pull to the light again’. )

lastly i also dont think thats fair to tog bc i wouldnt count r*ylo as a ‘speedrun’. it was set up in tlj, the problem with r*ylo is that it was bounced between two directors who not only had different visions for the franchise, but conflicting visions for the franchise and? seemingly they didnt collaborate at all. so if it feels like ben and rey were ping pong-ing back and forth between being enemies and borderline-lovers, its bc they were created by two men with completely different ideas of what the relationship looked like + they were at the mercy of a company which has pretty singlemindedly dedicated itself to lowest-common-denominator media that offends Nobody and thus tried to pass them off as pseudo-canon so neither the shippers nor the antis would get Mad. tog doesnt have these problems.

i think the idea of joe and nicky blinking once at each other and just immediately falling in love is, while fun and hilarious, a bit silly realistically bc thats generally not how feelings Work (I Dont Believe In Love At First Sight). going on a 24hr murder-bender and immediately going ‘oh wait im actually in love with this person who just brutally murdered me’ isnt comparable to two people who have a couple hours’ worth of content focused around essentially being inside of eachother’s brains and learning why the other Is The Way They Are. r*ylo didnt come out of nowhere, it was lead up to (just really poorly)

realistically, i think joe and nicky would like. at least have to get to know each other a little before they could convincingly fall in love imo, but theres rlly nothing comparable there with ben and rey to me

#Anonymous #so dont get me STarted on the subject that when nicky goes thru his redemption arc or whatever you like to call it #the endgoal Should Not Be joe's forgiveness and as a matter of fact joe has no right *to* 'forgive' nicky for what hes done #forgiveness shouldnt be the endgoal at all its literally unachievable #something something the catholic ideas of atonement and penance are unhealthy and unrealistic af when it comes to most kinds of wrongdoing #but honestly either way i think joe would forgive nicky pretty quickly considering his reaction to booker

[normal-thoughts-official]

Oooh yeah the first time I was playing as a female mc because I wanted to romance ava and I usually go male mc if I want to romance a man and female mc if I want to romance a woman (and I think there was one book with where mc could be non-binary so I picked that one but I didn't finished the book), and Stacy's brother felt Hetero™ in a way, like Hollywood ish (? Honestly like cinematographicly bad hetero) but I ended up really loving Andy too, and Stacy felt a little flat but also I really liked her potential, like go crazy girl, and the mom issues.

Apart but holy shit you're 10000% right about that teacher like who inmediately threatens expulsion just like that for something not violent ??? And to an honor student with way too much on his plate ??? Obviously it would have been bad with any student, but you have literally the reason of why he's doing it and as a teacher HE LITERALLY COULD HAVE HELPED WITH IT ??????? Like something teachers can't really help students because it's a family thing only or is a financial struggle or etc but it was literally because of school (and his family, but the teacher could have heloed him with the school part)

(Identity thief anon (also I go by any pronouns ahhshs))

ur valid! that's lowkey what i wish i'd do (picking female MC if my fave LI is female and the other way around, i mean) but unfortunately i always go into the stories blindly having no idea what i'll find </3 so i cant really do that doiajdiosa and then i get attached for the MC i picked so i feel bad about changing their gender/name/appearance when i replay. so what i usually do is that i pick a male MC when i get the option because A- u don't always get the option, so i end up being male half the time and female half the time either way; and B- i feel slightly more comfortable with a male identity than a female one. like i'm still nonbinary and i wouldn't consider myself male aligned or within the gender of Man, but like... when i first came out i went by any pronouns but then because im afab everyone was like "cool, she/her only it is" so i was like fuck that and stopped using she/her. so i feel slightly more comfortable with a masc MC and end up going with that

there's also the fact that it always feels slightly genderfucky to have a male MC because choices is so sexist and also always writes the stories assuming ull pick a female MC, even when they give u the option not to. so when u pick a male MC he's very like not toxically masc and some things they add to make a QuiRkY MC that are very white woman and would feel annoying are actually kind of subversive for my black and brown male MCs. so like another win for queerness /j

ILITW MC in particular i feel has HUGE nonbinary vibes like no reason at all he just does <3 maybe it's just that for once the male clothes for ILITW actually fUCK. i wanna dress in that goth outfit <3 so gorgeous ugh. i love him even tho he's a fucking dumbass

also there's a book where an MC can be enby? worm? ive only ever read one book in choices with any enby characters at all (america's most elligible, books 2-3) but they weren't even a LI which is disappointing cuz they were a billion times superior to any of the LIs. sorry america's most elligible LIs fans

also oh connor IS the epitome of white cistraight man even when u play as a man tbh, like he was just so cistraight to me daouhdsaojdasij he kind of annoys me but also i forget that he even exists until he shows up onscreen and choices starts trying to push me into his lap and i'm just like, ugh, not again

and yeah i think i feel a similar way about stacy. i don't dislike her as a character and i don't feel like she as a character felt flat, her growth was very interesting and i loved seeing her start to challenge her mom like YESSS GO GIRL GIVE US EVERYTHING, she just felt flat as a LI to me ig? like idk i didn't feel chemistry between her and my MC personally, but also like, stacy girls are valid u know

right exactly. like i don't think ppl really understand that a school that doesn't drive people to cry during finals week and feel absolutely crushed by having to be there and that makes ppl feel like they're stupid, not enough, and overwhelmed IS IN FACT POSSIBLE and actually pretty easy to make when we stop treating students like statistics that will get the school more clients/funding (depending on whether it's a private or public school). and like as a teacher getting my degree in brasil it just feels completely surreal to me that anyone would see a student who's so overwhelmed by the amount of extracurriculars and responsibilities he feels like he has to take that he starts taking drugs to help his performance despite it affecting his health, and see that as like... something morally reprehensible? like it is bad that it happened but it's not the student's fault, what's morally reprehensible are the circumstances that led to his decision, not his decision

and like it is very much a systemic problem, more and more kids are taking focus pills to be able to survive the pressure of school and have a shot at a future, either on their own or because we are actually medicalizing not existing to be productive. and if it's a systemic problem then the fault is at the system?? and like holy shit i legit don't understand why choices gave us options like being like "it still isn't enough" when lucas gets rid of his pills, what do you mean it isn't enough??? enough for what??? to FORGIVE him???? for something that only hurt himself??? for something that is very much a systemic problem and therefore NOT HIS FAULT????? literally what the fuck even is this, lucas doesn't have to "make up" for a single thing, he needs to be HELPED is what he needs

like idk i know that the school system in the US is...... extremely backwards lmao which is not a term i like to use because it usually implies imperialistic views but the US is the height of world imperialism so like actually idc. brasil has a pretty progressive constitution and as a teacher my whole education was focused on being critical of the school system, particularly the productivity obsession, and drilling into us again and again that we aren't supposed to just be teaching subjects, we are also supposed to be teaching how to be a citizen, be a critical human being, work towards building a better future, and learning and growing AS A PERSON to be healthy and happy are values of the school system

like that's easier said than done when schools are under insane amounts of pressure by companies in practice to be productivity-driven, and most teachers who actually want to do a good job end up having to live at the edge of the knife and constantly fighting back outside pressure, but at least it is very much a mandatory part of our education to become teachers and also like literally part of the constitution. so i just... i can't fathom reacting the way mr cooper did? like as a teacher i felt BETRAYED, i felt like he shat all over my profession because that is the opposite of what we should be doing, this is a kid who needs help

and just like hOLY SHIT HE DID NOTHING WRONG, what are you punishing him for??? it's not even a like, stealing bread to feed your family situation, because what he did HAS NO VICTIM OTHER THAN HIMSELF, and therefore HE IS THE VICTIM NOT THE CULPRIT. he doesn't have to repent or atone or answer for a single fucking thing, he didn't victimize others, he doesn't have to apologize, there's nothing to punish him fOR??? like i don't believe in punishment anyway cuz im a prison abolitionist but doDAUSDJADASIJDAS???????????? HE DIDN'T. HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. WHY IS THIS WHOLE GAME ACTING AS IF HE WAS IN THE WRONG. OH MY GOD

it's like saying that someone needs to be forgiven for self harming????? like how is it that someone has been hurt continuously until it led them to hurt themselves and then they have to? make up for it to a bunch of other ppl? my god it makes me so mad and i genuinely don't understand the logic, like usually when i see someone doing fucked up shit i can see the logic but i don't agree with it, but this time i genuinely DON'T SEE THE LOGIC. my USan friends said it was because he was technically doing drugs but like i legit still don't understand

anyway any school that drives a student to do something like that needs to rethink their entire curriculum and the psychological effect it's having on kids, because lucas is 1- not even the first one according to mr cooper; 2- even if he was, that'd be the only one who got CAUGHT; and 3- even if there was really only one singular student who went tHIS far, i doubt the others weren't feeling that same pressure and dealing with it in other similarly unhealthy ways

i know that's probably easier in brasil than in the US even if it's by no means easy here because here at least in public schools the curriculum and political-pedagogical plan has to be agreed on by the school community (teachers, parents, students, workers, and anyone who lives in the area of the school) and it's updated every year, so like, you have more means to do something to change the school in a deeper way, altho of course that still has to mean swinging the rest of the community, but still. but at the very least he could have looked for counseling for him? tried to find a way to take some of the workload off his shoulders? given him some more time on assignments? motioning for all the clubs he was the president of to have co-presidents so he was less overwhelmed?

like there was just daodsao he could have done so many things and he justs DIDN'T he chose to not only punish him instead but quite literally THREATEN HIM WITH DEATH because that's what calling the police on a latino student over a drug charge is. like he might've survived but the possibility that he would fucking DIE was very much there, and i know choices didn't think of that because they'd rather die than think about the racial implications of anything but holy fucking shit. and im not even getting into how mr cooper is BLACK because then ill just start biting people like thanks for putting that threat on a black character's mouth choices. if u need me ill be foaming at the mouth

anyway SORRY god why is it that i always get to the salty part within 2 seconds of joining a fandom i promise that i actually like it lives and the way they handled most of their plot, i genuinely think it's a very well written and actually worth ur time story but i just doadosaida like i said particularly as a teacher in the context where i'm being taught, plus with all my political beliefs, i just can't let it go aaaa

also ty for telling me ur pronouns! idk if i assumed them at any time, i don't think so but i might have done so without realizing and if i did im really sorry. also sorry for the gigantic salty reply daojdsaojdaisjsajdoadsaodasj rip me i never shut up

#it lives spoilers #ilitw spoilers #it lives #salt #long post #drugs tw #cops tw #police brutality tw #racism tw #victim blaming tw #anti connor green #ilitw #lucas thomas #ask #identity thief anon #self harm tw

[bravomckenzie]

Not being funny but how can you and Kat talk all this smack about everyone else’s fics when Olivia is a Mary Sue who never really progresses and Kat writes nothing but self inserts who can’t even portray WOC without using micro aggressions, wrote a gay character shagging a straight woman because her MC is oh so sexy and perfect that even gay men go for her as well as romanticising abusive relationships. Like I get that you’re probably seething because you’re not as big of a deal as you used to be back when the fandom was a microcosm with a few fics going around, but the fact you’re so bitter as to sneeringly turn your nose up at new content? You and Kat are so fixated on positioning yourselves as people who are better than everybody else, it’s why Kat writes all those whiny Reddit posts about how hard it is to be a fanfic writer in a community where everybody is oh-so jealous and bitter because she’s getting so many more reads than everyone else and how it’s such a stwuggle to be a big writer in this mean space. You aren’t as big as you used to be and you’re so bitter about it, it’s actually hilarious. Stay mad that the fandom is thriving without your output and stay mad that people are doing things bigger and better, life goes on.

first of all, wrong kat mama LFHSKFJSJFN i am not and never have been friends with the kat you’re referring to and i fully agree with what you said about it. my kat has nothing to do with litg anymore. like interacting with me is as close as she gets these days.

next, i’ll give you credit where credit is due - i am not as important here as i used to be. and i’m the first to admit it. i used to be one of the most popular bobby stans in the fandom. i am not that anymore. my relevancy i still have is because on the fact i did write such a popular fic. i am a fandom elder at this point who newer blogs really probably only follow because they’re kind of just “supposed” to. like i was very popular at one point, making me just a standard litg blog you follow when you show up here. and once again, i can admit it. i will always be just the author of ciwyw now. and i am more than fine with and even proud to be that. i love my fic more than ive ever loved anything i’ve ever made.

so with that being said!

olivia’s growth and development is something i pride myself on. and saying there’s no growth on her behalf means you either didn’t finish the fic or genuinely lack reading comprehension skills. more than anything, ciwyw follows olivia’s journey in discovering her worth and the way she deserves to be treated. she isn’t a mary sue. she isn’t a cookie cutter mc. she has flaws and she makes shitty choices. she’s both an objectively shitty girlfriend and shitty friend at several points throughout the fic. to say she’s anything less than that is deadass just wrong. like actually factually incorrect. and i do take insult to that so i guess you made your silly little point.

stating my opinion on not being into the new content being created doesn’t mean i think i’m better than anyone. because like i don’t? i have said a billion times that i consider myself an okay writer AT BEST. my characters and plot as concepts are where my work shines. my actual writing is nothing special. i just genuinely do not vibe with the repetitiveness that the fandom has come to at this point. and i don’t enjoy the concepts for the other pieces being written rn with the exception of a few.

since day one, i have said this blog exists for me to scream into the fandom void about fandom things & a place for whoever wanted to do that too. i never meant to or even tried to become relevant. it just happened. my current or former levels popularity have nothing to do with what i think.

the anon who sent me the asks made valid points about issues in a popular fic in the fandom. like genuine problems that exist within the story. she was funny about it which is why i was funny about it back.

anyways. y’all should know by now, especially since you’ve apparently known me for a hot minute… i’m literally not going to stop posting whatever i feel like screaming into this void. like idc how much yall get mad at me and tell me to shut the fuck up. it’s literally not happening.

i do not care what you think of me as a person. i’ve settled into my mean girl narrative quite comfortably. i’m fine here. i realized it was something i’d never shake off. your opinion of me is your own. much like mine is about fanfic.

stay mad. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#shut up presley

[padme-parker]

Collide / Chapter 2

[a Star Wars x Avengers crossover]

summary: You get interrogated by the Jedi Council and some calls home are made.

word count: 3,700+

warnings: my shitty writing, a few curse words, plot holes

A/N: I might’ve forgotten to edit some things out lol my bad, also this chapter is really messy but I will come back to fix it once I get the hang of writing for a series

Song(s) of the chapter: Creep by Radiohead, Home with you by FKA Twigs, and Softly by Clairo.

read chapter one here

“Is it alright to feel this way so early? And in my blood, all the sweet nothings fallin' in love overnight” -Softly by Clairo

Anakin was walking amongst the halls with Master Obi-wan and Master Yoda when he felt it, a disturbance in the force. Obi-wan turned to him, “Do you feel it too?” Anakin had merely nodded before taking out his holo device, bringing up a map of the Jedi Temple. His eyes quickly scanned it before finding something out of place, “Look, it’s an unrecognized heat signature in the lower levels of the temple.” Of all the years he’d been living in the temple, he had never visited the lower levels. He knew of its existence and that only certain Jedi, like Master Yoda, could enter. However, he never understood why it was forbidden to enter.

“Master Yoda, what should we do?”

“Go down, you must. Alert the others, I will.” He gave Master Yoda a nod before taking off with Obi-wan. Using the holo map to guide him, he found himself in front of a large steel door. He placed his hand on the door, seeing if it’d budge, but it didn’t move an inch. Beckoning forth the force within him, he imagined the door opening. A warmth that spread from his heart to the tips of his finger, encompassing his entire being until he felt the door shift. Pushing the door open, he put away his holo device, his lightsaber now in his grasp.

“They’re close Master, I can feel it.” Obi-wan took the lead, using the force to guide him to the person they were looking for. It didn’t take the two very long to find them, well more like her. Anakin took notice as to how she was gripping onto the wall for dear life. With her back to them, he couldn’t see her face. Only the outline of her figure, clad in all black. Who are you?

Obi-wan ignited his saber, Anakin following. “Stop right there! Turn around and face us sith!” Oh, so apparently I’m a sith now. Anakin furrowed his eyebrows, why could he hear her thoughts? His ears picked up on the approaching footsteps, as he felt the other Jedi enter the room, his shoulders slightly tensing.

The girl raised her arms slowly, showing defeat. Turning around, his eyes immediately found hers. He watched as her eyes moved across the room until they landed on his. He let his eyes widen for a fraction of a second, before composing himself. He realizes that he’s seen her before, in his dreams. The ones where her beauty overtook him, and they’d spend their time together in the meadows. When he dreamt about her, he felt at peace. He felt whole. Even after waking up, only to find Padme at his side, he could still feel her lingering touch. He had always wondered why the force was showing him visions of her, of their future together. Now, he knew why. He felt a tug in his chest, the force insisting that he move closer. To take you in his embrace and never let go.

He watched as you blinked, licking your lips before uttering his name. He watched as your knees buckled, sending you to the floor. He watched as your eyes shut, your body going limp.

It’s you.

He was angry at the force. Why would they send him to you, after he had gotten married to the love of his life. The force had also shown him visions of Padme and him, their life together. He knew it was one full of joy and happiness, the force assured him of that.

“Anakin? Anakin, I asked you a question,” He was broken out of his reverie by Obi-wan, “Do you know that girl?”

“No, I don’t know her.”

-

Anakin found himself in your room, the steady beeping of the machine was beginning to frustrate him. He needed you to wake, he needed to know why you were here, in this exact moment. Why not earlier? Before he had fallen in love with Padme? He wasn’t sure, all he knew was that he couldn’t leave Padme, especially now that she was carrying his child.

He walked closer to your bed, before sitting on the edge of it. He observed your face, she looks the same. She even smelt the same, like a meadow of flowers with a hint of something fruity. He took his time to observe you, not knowing if he’d ever see you again. What was the Jedi Counsel going to do to you? He gently brushed a lock of hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear. Brushing his knuckles softly over your cheeks, he was interrupted by his holo device pinging. Signaling that he was needed elsewhere. He didn’t want to leave your side, but he has a life to get back to. He looked at you one last time before swiftly turning away, leaving you alone once more.

-

A few hours later, you regained consciousness. Sound was the first sense that came back to you, and all you could hear was the stupid beeping of the machine. The next sense that came was sight. Your eyes scanned around the room, noticing the IV that was hooked onto you, along with the heart rate monitor attached to your index finger. Using your free hand, you ripped off the monitor and IV, the beeping of the machine stopped, only to be replaced by a flatline sound. Oh my stars, does this thing ever shut up. Before you could make it to the door, it flew open. Obi-wan, Anakin, and Master Yoda walked in.

“Where do you think you’re going, sith.” Obi-wan asked.

You titled you head to the side, “What makes you think I’m a sith?”

“What other force user would be able to cunningly sneak into the temple unnoticed?” Although his face was completely serious, his voice held a sarcastic tone. “Besides, who wears all black in a Jedi temple?” You gave him a pointed look.

“Uh, Anakin. Duh.” Turning to face Anakin, you also gave him a pointed look. Both brows furrowed as you called him out.

“And exactly how do you know Anakin?” Right, you forgot that they were going to question you. Luckily for you, Fury had gone over the plan with you a couple of times, so you knew what to do.

“I’ll tell you, only if you bring me to the Jedi council.”

-

Standing in front of the council was more intimidating than you thought. Especially when your eyes landed on Master Windu’s. You couldn’t tell who was scarier, Fury or Windu. As intimidated as you were, you were also amazed. Gazing through the windows, you could see the flying shuttles and speeders, something Earth certainly didn’t have.

“Right Miss…” There was a pause, they waited for you to say your name.

Remember, no real names. Why? ‘Cause Fury said so, “Alyra.”

“Just Alyra? No last name?” Obi-wan questioned

“Yep,” the pop of your ‘p’ echoed throughout the silent room, “Just Alyra. No middle or last name. Mysterious right?” You said, wiggling your eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood. When no one laughed or cracked a slight smile, you gave them a tight smile. Right, the Jedi don’t like having fun.

“So Miss Alyra, please do tell us why you’re here.” Fu- Master Windu’s voice booms, showing that he isn’t in the mood for jokes.

-

“It’s extremely vital that you explain to the Jedi Council the reasoning for your arrival. And I don’t care how much you admire that Anakin Skywalker, don’t do anything that will forever alter their timeline. We need him to turn, because we need the Death Star.”

“So, you want me to watch and do nothing as Anakin suffers? Absolutely nothing. Also, how the hell am I supposed to acquire the Death Star?”

“Correct, I trust that you can do that. Right, agent L/N? As for the Death Star, just make sure you get close to Skywalker, close enough that he won’t kill you when he turns, but not too close.” You assumed Fury hadn’t watched any of the prequels because Anakin killed and pushed away literally everyone who was close to him.

You swallowed before swiftly nodding, “right.” you replied. Your mouth had gotten dry all of a sudden. You’d be damned if Fury thought you weren’t going to do anything to help Anakin. You couldn’t imagine yourself holding the knowledge of their future, Anakin’s future, and not doing anything to help. You didn’t know what you were going to do, but you sure as hell knew that you weren’t going to sit around idly. Something had to change.

-

How were you supposed to explain to the Council that billions of lives were being threatened, and that the only way to save them was through a weapon that doesn’t exist yet. On top of that, it was a weapon created by the empire. There was no way Fury’s plan was going to work without questions arising, so you created a plan of your own. Of course one that Fury would approve of.

“I’m here because not only is my planet being threatened, but so is yours, and every other planet in this universe. The only way to stop it from happening is if you train me.”

“Before we can even decide on if we should train you or not, please do tell us, how did you find out about our existence.” Taking a deep breath, you composed yourself before telling them the story.

“Long ago, there was a Jedi named George Lucas.” You glanced at Master Yoda, noticing his eyes light up as he remembered him. “He was a powerful Jedi, gifted with foresight. Almost always, his visions came true. One night, he dreamt of the destruction of Coruscant and it’s people. At the time, he didn’t know that it didn’t only affect Coruscant, but the whole universe. Scared of being caught in the destruction, he warned his friends, Jedi or not. Together they fled using the bridge, coming to my home planet. There, they started their new lives. George Lucas then created comics and movies to serve as a reminder to himself and his friends of their home. He did his best to replicate Coruscant, but I must say, it’s more beautiful in person.” I can’t wait to see Naboo though. You smiled, a frown soon emerging. This means that I can never tell Anakin of his future, not even a little. They wouldn’t believe me.

You cleared your throat before speaking again, “If that’s all, I’d like to go for a walk.” You waited for one of the Jedi to reply.

“Alright, you have 30 minutes. We expect you to be back once those 30 minutes are over. In the meantime, we will be discussing your stay here.” Master Windu said, waving his hand to dismiss you.

Quickly walking out of the room, you began to wander around aimlessly. You took in your surroundings, admiring the new environment. Who knows, you were probably going to hate it as time passed. The vibration coming from your chest startled you, picking up the necklace you pressed the button. A hologram of Director Fury and Mr. Stark came up.

“Hey kid, how are you holding up in there?”

“Well, I think I’ve got everything under control. I’ve told them about the mission,” well not really, “So far, everything is going as planned.”

“Alright agent L/N, if that is all, I’ll be ending the call no-”

“Wait, wait, wait! Can I speak to Peter, pretty puhhhleasee! Come on Fury, you owe me this.” You watched as Fury rolled his eyes and huffed out a fine, soon after Peter came into frame. “O. M. G. Peter you’ll never guess where I am.” You panned the device around the hall, showing off the Jedi Temple.

“Holy crap! You're in the freaking Jedi Temple. That’s so cool!” You heard feet shuffling behind you, “Hey, I’ve gotta go, but I’ll call you later Peter. See ya!” You shut off the device before a voice was heard behind you.

“Were you talking to someone?” Anakin’s voice rang out from behind you, turning around you found him resting against a pillar, looking casual as ever.

“Yes I was, Mr. Skywalker. However, that information doesn’t concern your prying ears.” you smirked.

“And that is where you are wrong Miss Alyra. You see it does in fact concern me, do you think the Jedi Council knows of this device.” He strided up to you, gently grasping your necklace. You were able to get a good whiff of his scent, he smelt like strawberries and cinnamon. It was a peculiar combination but it worked together. Honestly, that was probably the most attractive thing about him, besides his face. You could stare at it all day. There was just something so mesmerizing about his face, it demanded your attention.

“Why are you staring at my face?” He asked

“Hmm, oh nothing. I just thought I’d never see you in real life.”

“Real life? What do you mean in real life?” His brows furrowed, making the scar on his face more prominent. Shit, not even a day in Coruscant and you had already blown your cover, “Have you,” He inhales deeply before continuing, “Have you seen me in your dreams too?”

Wait, what? Sure, maybe you had a sexual dream about him every once in a while, but you didn’t expect him to dream about you too. “Umm, yes…?” It’s too late to stick to the original plan now.

“So, you’ve seen it then? Visions of us, in the meadow?”

“Yes, I was… unaware that you were having these dreams too. I thought I was going crazy.” Maybe you are.

“Well, we’ve only known each other for a short period of time, so it wouldn’t be plausible for you to know. However, I do suggest we talk about this tomorrow. I’m afraid we have to get back to the council now.” He motioned for you to go first, following closely behind you. The two of you walked in a comfortable silence until the doors of the Council came into view.

“Well, here goes nothing.”

-

“The Jedi Council has come to the decision that we will train you,” You let out a breath, “But you need to tell us of the threat first.”

“In my system, there is a moon filled with powerful beings. Their greediness and selfishness will ultimately lead to their demise. There was a famine, the poor and weak struggled the most, while the strong thrived for a short amount of time. However, once the food was all gone, everyone perished. Except for one. His name is Thanos. Struck with grief, he sought after power. Enough power to eliminate half of the universe. He…. He wants to spare us the grief of losing our loved ones to selfishness, but fails to realize how much anguish we will be in if half of the universe just disappears. That’s why we need your help. Without your knowledge and technology, we wouldn’t be able to save the universe. But once my training is over, I will need others to help me.” There was a pause, you let the words sink in before speaking again, “Like I said, they are powerful beings. But even they cannot survive a famine. The only reason Thanos survived was because he was exiled. An acquaintance of mine saw this, through a vision. So it hasn’t happened yet, but it will soon. So the sooner I can get trained, the better. But I will need others to train with me too. I cannot take down a titan alone.”

“It’s settled then, Kenobi and Skywalker, you will train alongside Alyra to help her. We will send more Jedi if needed.” After Master Windu dismissed the council, Obi-wan came up to you to formally introduce himself. Of course, he didn’t need to, you had already known who everyone was. But for the sake of the plan, you had to act like you didn’t.

“Hello there! I am Obi-wan Kenobi. I’d like to apologize for my behaviour earlier.”

“Oh, there’s no need to apologize. But thanks I guess.”

“I assume no one has shown you to your quarters yet?” You nod, “Let me show you the way then.”

Anakin watched as the two of you left, a gentle laugh escaping your lips. Although Obi-wan’s hands were clasped behind his back, Anakin didn’t like the way he was so close to you. The furrow of his brows were noticeable as he felt the jealousy grow in him. Snap out of it, you just met her. He took big strides in order to catch up to the two of you.

“Hey! Wait up.” Hearing Anakin's voice made the two of you stop in your tracks. “Where are you two heading?”

“I was just going to take Miss Alyra to her quarters. Anyhow, since your quarters seem to be closer to hers, I think you should take her instead.” Obi-wan stated, giving Anakin the information he needed before leaving.

“Well, it looks like your room is right across from mine.” He began to lead the way, taking smaller steps to make sure you kept up.

“Tell me Anakin, what’s it like living on Coruscant?” You’d been curious, life as an avenger was grueling, although you did travel many places for missions, it was never for leisure. Living in New York for most of your life, you lacked knowledge about culture and life in general outside of America. So being in a new environment like Coruscant was quite exciting to you, but it was also scary. Give or take a few Jedi, some senators, and siths; you barely knew anyone.

“Well, I’m not gonna say I love it, because I don’t. But Coruscant does have its perks. There are many different cultures here, you’ll never get tired of it. Plus there’s no sand here, I fucking hate sand. It just-”

“-gets everywhere. Yeah I don’t like sand either. There’s a lot of branches and broken shells in it, making it hard to walk on.” You finished his sentence for him. Not realizing what you said before it was already out of your mouth, you gave him a sheepish smile. Anakin gave you a smile in return.

As your quarters came into view, Anakin grew nervous. He didn’t want the conversation to end, “About tomorrow, how about I pick you up for some breakfast, then we can explore the lower levels of Coruscant while you tell me about your home?”

You looked to the floor, biting your lip to keep you from smiling like an idiot, “Yeah, I’d really like that.” you continued to stare at the floor as you felt your cheeks heat up. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Anakin.” Finally meeting his gaze, you gave him a small smile.

“Sweet dreams, Alyra.” You watched as Anakin disappeared into his room before entering yours. Truth be told, you weren’t expecting much from the Jedi. The room was moderately decorated, only containing necessities. The bed itself looked like a bag of rocks, but was surprisingly comfortable. Going into the refresher, you were delighted to find that it wasn’t some outdated 90’s looking bathroom, but a more modern one. There was a single sink, along with some counter space where you could put your toiletries. A circular mirror was hanging above the sink, giving the bathroom some style. Everything in the bathroom had been so monotone, the same shade of white. Except the shower curtain, which was a very light gray.

Walking out of the bathroom, you noticed a door which presumably led to your closet. In it you found Jedi robes already hanging, there was also some sleep wear too. The robe itself was black, just like Anakins. However your clothing had been variations of white and gray. What a weird combination for a Jedi. It felt weird to be calling yourself a Jedi, it just didn’t feel right.

You decided to take a quick shower before calling Peter again. Turning on the shower, you watched as the water fell from the shower head attached to the ceiling. To your disbelief, the water was already hot when you jumped in. You thought it would’ve taken a while for it to warm up or that the Jedi absolutely loved taking cold showers. They hadn’t given you any shampoo or body wash, so you just let the hot water do its magic. I should probably tell Ani that I need some tomorrow while we're in the lower levels. Stepping out, you hastily dried yourself before putting on your night clothes.

Sitting on the bed, you took off your necklace. Pressing the button to turn on the device, you scrolled through the hologram screen until Peter’s name came up. Clicking on his name, you waited for it to connect. After a couple of seconds waiting, the video connected.

“Y/N!” He said eagerly

“Hi Peter! How are you? It feels like ages since I last saw you.” It had been only mere hours since you had left, while for you it’d been almost two days.

“Honestly things have been...okay. It’s just not the same without you around y’know?” You could hear the hesitation in his voice, as if he was hiding something.

“What do you mean okay? What happened?”

“I meant to tell you this before you left, but everything happened so quickly, and then you were gone before I knew it.” He pauses, taking a deep breath, “Umm…. MJ and I broke up.”

“What, why? Peter what happened?” Before he could answer, the hologram disappeared and the call ended. You tried to call him back but the call wouldn’t go through. Giving up, you let out a sigh. It’s probably for the best, I need to get some sleep.

Crawling into the covers, you situated yourself before finding a comfortable position. Thoughts of Peter and Mj lingered throughout your mind as you tried to fall asleep. You decided not to think about them for the rest of the night, and instead think of your day tomorrow with Anakin. Soon your breathing slowed down, a smile could be seen on your lips as you fell asleep.

-

somewhere in the Star Wars galaxy

Darth Sidious sits on his throne, hood pulled up to hide his face. He too, felt the disturbance in the force. Reaching into the force, he sought to find the person responsible for the disturbance. Quickly finding his answer, he lets out a vicious cackle.

so, the last of the Andarae bloodline has returned.

--

read ch 3 here

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