#i swear that episode gives me ptsd

[stevie-petey]

episode six: the spy

Steve looks like a kicked puppy as you storm ahead of him and Dustin, putting enough distance between you guys so that you can’t hear their conversion that follows.  “Shit…” “You’re awful with women.” Dustin says, now continuing to walk. He doesn’t bother to follow after you, knowing that you need your space to cool down. “I wouldn’t follow her, by the way. Let her cool off.” Steve sighs, now walking as well, “Yeah, I know.” 

Summary: dustin and steve haggle a butcher, you throw some meat at steve and then have a weird conversation about love, you stop dustin from becoming an incel, and then you wrestle some demodogs like any real woman would. side note: steve is hot protecting the kids.

Rating: general, violence and swearing

Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, violence and swearing, blood mention and ptsd mention, weapons, fire, probably more

Words: 17.1k (i fear how much longer these next few chapters become)

Before you swing in: its here !!! god, this chapter was ROUGH. the conversations between bug and steve took many rewrites and editing. i wanted to get it just right, and finally i think im satisfied with where they landed. bug and steve aside, i absolutely loved writing this chapter with the kids. i sincerely hope you guys enjoy, this chapter took blood, sweat, n tears lmao

-

You’re the first to break the silence as you all stare at the hole Dart created in the wall in shock.

An obnoxiously loud yawn escapes your lips, and Dustin and Steve shoot you simultaneous weird glances. You feel your face heat up in embarrassment. “Sorry… It’s been a long day.”

Steve huffs. “Yeah, no kidding.”

Dustin clears his throat before standing up. He wipes off some dirt that got on his jeans and then offers you his hand so that he can pull you up as well. You accept it and stand, your bones a deep, weary type of heavy that only comes from pure exhaustion. 

“Okay,” Dustin begins, and you can already see a plan forming in his mind. “Steve, you’ll spend the night here so that way we can all get up bright and early to start our search for Dart.” 

Steve attempts to argue, but Dustin puts his hand up to shush him and continues with his speech. The older boy throws his hands up in the air and gives you a look of disbelief over your brother’s antics. You stifle a laugh, which he only rolls his eyes at. Steve, whether he likes it or not, will have to get used to Dustin’s… Dustin-ness.

“If he escaped through the tunnel, then we have to assume that there’s an opening somewhere above ground.” Dustin finishes. 

You nod your head slowly, still unconvinced. “Okay, but how do we find him? Better yet, what happens when we do? It took Nancy with a shotgun, my knives, Steve’s batting skills, a ton of fire, and almost dying a bunch of times to take down the Demogorgon.” 

Dustin lets out a tired sigh. “I’ll figure it all out, alright? For now, let’s just get some sleep. Maybe it’ll come to me in a dream or something.” 

“A dream? Seriously?” Steve looks at the two of you as if you guys will start laughing and tell him it’s all a giant joke. Unfortunately, it isn’t. 

Steve spent all last year and most of the summer getting to know you. He’s used to your quips and soft spoken teasing, but Dustin? He’s uncharted territory and you’re secretly relishing in seeing Steve fumble around him. You’ve never had anyone else interact with your brother before, only Jonathan, so this change is odd, but welcomed. 

Dustin pays no attention to you and Steve as he begins heading up the steps, back to your home. Once he disappears, you nudge your shoulder against Steve’s. “You know you don’t actually have to spend the night, right?”

“Ya know, I can’t quite tell if the kid will let me leave or not.”

You laugh. “He’s harmless… Mostly. I promise I won’t let him bite, but I also understand if you want to leave.”

Steve looks away, sensing the undertones of what you’re saying. You’re giving him another out, one last chance to leave and go back to pretending like everything's okay. You wouldn’t blame him, and you get a sense of deja-vu from that night at Jonathan’s. When you tried coaxing Steve to leave, to spare himself from everything he inevitably ended up suffering from. 

After a minute or so, Steve shakes his head. “I’ll stay. You need my help.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say need–”

“Shut up and let me help you, Y/N.”

You sigh. There’s no arguing with him, he’s made up his mind and your truce that you shook on ten minutes ago burns your hand. He’s staying. 

“A ‘please’ would’ve sufficed, but fine.” You link your arm around Steve’s and make your way up the cellar steps. “C’mon, Dustin is probably waiting for us with some new insane plan for where you’ll sleep.”

– 

You know that your mom is safe, off at the other side of town, searching for your dead cat, but it’s still lonely walking into your empty home. Dustin is standing in the living room waiting, but you can see that it makes him uneasy as well. 

Steve follows behind you and takes a look around. When he spots the lumpy, old, sagging couch in front of the window, he frowns. It’s barely bigger than he is, his feet would definitely hang over the edge. “This my bed for tonight?”

“It’ll have to be, unless you want to come snuggle with me in my bed.” Dustin says. 

“I wouldn’t, he kicks in his sleep,” you tell Steve, attempting to make light of the situation. 

“That doesn’t surprise me,” he snorts. Then, as if he’s done this a million times before, Steve flings himself onto your couch and his feet do indeed hang over the edge. “Oh, yeah. This will definitely be cozy.”

You wince. “I’m sorry, you’re still free to go home. I completely understand and–”

“Unless…” Dustin begins to brighten up and he wiggles his eyebrows at you. Pure horror washes over you; you know that look on his face. He’s scheming. 

“Dustin, whatever is about to come out of your mouth–”

“Y/N has this giant bean bag in her room. Practically takes up the whole space, and, luckily for you, my new friend, it’s Steve-sized.”

Steve whips his head to face you, a curious look on his face. “You don’t say, Little Henderson?”

Both boys look at you, a matching glint of evil in their eyes, and you realize you’re trapped. When did they manage to sync up to make you miserable?

You weigh your options against your morals. On one hand, it’s your room and you and Steve are still warming back up to each other. However, on the other hand, Jonathan has spent countless nights on that bean bag himself. 

Dustin’s right. Steve would fit perfectly. 

Damn him. 

You shuffle your feet, averting Steve’s eyes. “I mean, I guess you’d fit.” 

“You guess? Steve, she’s had Jonathan sleep on that thing like a bajillion times.” Dustin waves his arms out, gleeful that he’s won. “In fact, I think our mom specifically bought it just for him.”

He now steps closer to Steve and eyes him up and down. “I’d bet money that you two are about the same size, so as I stated earlier: it’s Steve-sized.”

“I’m actually taller than him, so…” Steve mumbles to no one in particular, but quickly clears his throat and changes the subject. “And I’d finally be able to see Y/N Henderson’s room? Count me in.”

You blush furiously. He’s getting a kick out of all of this and he’s such a little shit, honestly. You’re not sure why the thought of having Steve Harrington in your room, eager to be in your room, makes your stomach flutter and your cheeks burn painfully. 

Steve sees your blush and he wiggles his eyebrows at you. “C’mon, Y/N. It’ll be like a sleepover.”

“You’re far too pleased about all of this.”

“We can pretend to be back at Bookstrordinary. I’ll even stack some books that you definitely have in your room.”

Dustin stands between you and Steve, his face alight with joy and curiosity. “Can I please know when you two became best friends?”

“No, you hid Dart from me.”

“I’m not gonna live that down, am I?”

“Nope.”

Steve clears his throat, clearly amused by your banter with Dustin but still unsure about everything going on. “So… What do ya say, Y/N?”

You bite your lip and look at him. He’s pathetically too large for the couch, it wouldn’t be fair to just force him to sleep there because of the weird way he makes you feel as if you’re floating yet falling all at the same time. 

Exhaling, you give in. “Fine, but do not touch any of my books in the room.”

“Yes!” Steve high fives Dustin and you roll your eyes at them both. 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. It’s late, can we please just go to bed now?”

Dustin sends you a wink, which thankfully Steve doesn’t see. “Sure, sis. Have a good night.”

And with that, probably because he senses you’re about to throw a shoe at him, Dustin flees the living room and runs to his room. As soon as he’s gone, Steve bats his eyelashes at you and playfully teases, “Take me to bed, Y/N.”

You snort, despite how exhausted you are. “Never say those words to me again.”

He laughs and stands up, following behind you as you guide him towards your own room. A part of you feels like you should give him a house tour, but logistically it’d be useless. You can’t imagine that Steve would be over at your house again once the Dart situation is handled. 

You have to remind yourself that there are still roses for Nancy, currently wilting, in the backseat of Steve’s car. 

They’ll work things out eventually, or maybe they won’t, but Nancy Wheeler still has Steve Harrington’s heart. He is her’s entirely. 

Lost in thought, you almost miss the turn to your room and have to grab the back of Steve’s jacket and yank him towards your bedroom door. 

“Hey–” 

“Sorry, my room is here.” 

“You Hendersons are just a delightful bunch, ya know that?” 

“Be thankful you don’t have to meet our mother, honestly.” You fling your bedroom door open and gently push Steve inside. 

As soon as he’s in your room, you watch as he takes it all in. His eyes scan every corner of the room, and you hold your breath as you wait for them to land on the Spider-Man poster he gave you for Christmas last year. 

When Steve sees it, he smiles shyly at you. “I see you kept the gift.”

“Duh,” you walk over to your bed and sit down. “Still one of the best gifts I’ve ever been given.”

“One of?” He asks, tone light but curious. 

Unconsciously, your fingers go to your bee necklace from Jonathan. You play with the pendant and smile softly. “Sorry, Jonathan kinda beat you to it.”

“I figured,” he shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets, uncomfortable. “I noticed the necklace the day I gave you the poster. Didn’t want to, uh, assume. I guess. But the necklace was from him?”

“It was,” you clear your throat, talking about Jonathan with Steve has always been such a foreign feeling for you. 

Steve seems to be thinking the same thing and starts to wander around your room instead. You silently thank whatever god is up there for giving you the motivation to clean your room earlier that week. Normally you’re a neat person, but ever since Will started showing signs of post-traumatic stress, you’ve spent more time obsessively researching rather than tidying up.

Therefore, there’s still books strewn across your desk alongside some comics. Steve sees a Spidey one and holds it up with a laugh. “He’s everywhere.”

“He is.” You say proudly, now getting up to go into your closet to pull out the blankets and pillows usually reserved for Jonathan.

Steve wanders around some more as you dig through your closet. He lingers in front of your dresser, which holds photos of you, Dustin, and Jonathan. 

“Here,” you hand the bedding to Steve and motion to where the bean bag is. 

He looks up from a photo of you and Jonathan from last year. It’s your favorite of the two of you, he stands behind you in the picture with his arms wrapped around your waist and his chin on your shoulder. You’re both smiling widely at the camera, the moment captured by Will because he wanted to try out the camera Jonathan had gotten that summer. 

“You guys are really close, huh?” Steve asks.

You nod, although confused by his question. He spent half the summer with you and Jonathan at your job. You had conversations about your friendship together, but you suppose it’s different seeing the excess of love you have for the boy within your room. Jonathan is everywhere, if you look hard enough, you’ll find him. 

Steve pauses for a second, as if he wants to say something else, but shakes his head and turns towards the bean bag. He arranges the pillows so that they’re flush against the wall facing your bed, which you think is an odd choice, but say nothing. Once he’s arranged the pillows and blankets, Steve turns to you and clears his throat. 

“I hate to ask this, I really do, but I also don’t want to sleep in these jeans,” he waves his hands over his pants, which have always been a bit together than you thought was necessary. “Any chance I could wear something of Jonathan’s?”

You think for a moment and dig through your dresser. “I’m not sure, but if I can’t find anything of his then I think my old camp t-shirt can fit. As for pants, won’t your boxers work fine?”

Steve’s face turns red and he clears his throat once more, speaking in a slightly squeaky voice, “Y–yeah, I guess so.”

He’s stumbling over his words, which makes you pause. There’s no possible way that he’s nervous right now. He’s usually so confident and comfortable around you. Hell, last summer he offered to be your first kiss (by kissing his fingers and pressing them against your lips, but still). 

“Are you shy right now, Steve?”

“What? No!” He scrambles to the other side of the room, putting as much distance between the two of you as he can. 

You raise your eyebrows at him, but your cheeks are flushed as well. “Okay then, whatever you say.” 

It’s painfully quiet after that as you continue looking for something for Steve to wear. You swear that Jonathan has left behind some of his things, and right before you lose hope, you spot a pair of gray sweats and an old The Clash t-shirt of his. 

“Here,” you toss the clothes to Steve without even checking if he’s looking. You hear a crash and know that he, in fact, had not been looking. 

“Gee, thanks.” He says sarcastically, but you giggle. 

“No problem,” you begin to gather your own pajamas before pointing towards your door. “There’s a bathroom to the left, down the hall. You can change there.” 

“Then our sleepover can commence?”

You wave him off, but you smile anyway at his question. You missed his boyish charms. “Sure, buddy. Go change.”

Steve salutes you and then leaves the room, softly closing the door behind him. You change while he’s gone and tie your hair up. After a few minutes, you assume Steve has had enough time to change and make your way over to the bathroom so you can brush your teeth. You’re so excited to go to bed. 

However, the door is closed when you approach, meaning Steve is still changing. You knock on the door, “Are you almost done in there?”

“I’m having… problems.” 

Your hand hovers over the door, mid knock. “Problems?”

There’s only silence for a moment, almost as if Steve is contemplating elaborating. Finally, after several seconds, he says “I’m definitely taller than Byers.” 

You roll your eyes and begin knocking again, just to annoy Steve, until he finally swings the door open. Before you can even stop it, a loud laugh escapes you. The sweats are at least five inches too short on him, while Jonathan’s shirt is a size too small. He looks absolutely ridiculous. 

“It’s not funny!” Steve whines, his face once again red. “I thought you gave me Jonathan’s clothes, Y/N!” 

More laughter escapes you, making your ribs begin to hurt. Every time you try to speak, you laugh even harder, and it’s impossible for you to get any words out. Steve watches, not amused in the slightest, and crosses his arms as if to appear more dignified. 

“I’m sorry,” you manage to gasp out, more laughs threatening to spill from you. “I guess they’re clothes from when he was fourteen.”

“I’m reconsidering our truce from earlier.” 

This gets you to stop laughing, and you gasp and smack Steve’s chest. “You wouldn’t dare!”

He sighs, hanging his head low. “No, I wouldn’t.”

“Exactly,” his admission makes you giddy. “Now, either make yourself cozy in the bean bag or watch as I brush my teeth. Your choice.”

Steve shrugs and steps to the side so that there’s room for you to enter the bathroom. It’s a tight fit, but he ends up sitting on the edge of the tub and just watches as you begin the process of brushing your teeth. “I didn’t actually think you’d stay, ya know.”

“I know, but I’m bored and you’re here.”

You spit into the sink. “Fair, I guess.”

“Plus,” he picks at his nails, trying to look disinterested while wearing Jonathan’s too small clothes. “We still need to have that talk.”

You pause, toothbrush hanging from your lips as you stare at Steve, wide eyed, in the mirror. Honestly, you were hoping he would’ve forgotten about that. It’s not that you don’t want to know whatever he has to tell you, but you’re tired and still reeling over the fact that he’s spending the entire night in your room. 

“Oh, right.” Turning the faucet off, you finish brushing your teeth and awkwardly wipe your face. Steve watches quietly, and once you’re done, you motion for him to follow you back towards your room. 

As soon as you’re back in your room, Steve immediately curls himself upon the bean bag and brings the blanket all the way up to his chin. Dustin, as always, is right: the bean bag truly is Steve-sized. “Cozy.”

You laugh at him as you crawl into your own bed. “Yeah, I’d hope so. Jonathan has slept in it for years now.”

“Well, uh. Speaking of Jonathan…” Steve sits up a bit so that he can properly look at you. “I wanted to talk. Ya know… About you and him. Nancy, too.”

He pauses, furrows his brows, and then adds. “Actually, I want to talk about what really happened this summer. Everything. I want to know everything.”

“Everything is a lot,” you dodge, turning away from the boy. 

Steve sighs. “Y/N… I missed you.”

Missed.

“I want to be friends again, be how we were before, but… I don’t know. There was a lot unsaid between us. Even from the start. I mean, I understand. I do.” His eyes never leave yours, despite how much you try not to look back at him. “You’re, well–If we’re going to be friends again, I want to start from the beginning.”

“The beginning?”

Now Steve is the one who looks away. “I don’t know, it’s stupid, I guess–”

“It’s not stupid, Steve.” You reassure him. He’s trying, he’s inviting you in after everything you did to him, and it’s all you could’ve asked for. 

But you’re fucking terrified. 

You and Steve became close before, sure, but it was something more surface level. An act between the two of you. While Steve was able to read you over time, learning and asking and paying attention to you, there was still so much you never let him in on. What you haven’t let anyone in on, besides Jonathan. 

If you start from the beginning with Steve, someone you know has come to view you as this selfless and kind person, you’re scared that it’ll change the way he sees you. 

But Steve is looking at you from the bean bag, looking ridiculously cozy with the blanket wrapped around him and his usually carefully curated hair has fallen in his eyes; his gaze is open and trusting. There isn’t a pressure behind it, he would understand if you backed down, but you promised him you’d try. 

To try is to be human.

And you really, really missed Steve. 

“I moved here when I was twelve. My family and I had moved all the way from Virginia after the divorce. I remember being really mean, back then. An angry kid with all this hurt within her that she perpetually displaced upon everyone else.” 

“Angry?” Steve asks, his voice soft. 

You shift uncomfortably in bed, but you remind yourself that you agreed to this. If you’re going to begin again with Steve, then he deserves to know the true person he’s befriending. “Angry. I didn’t take the divorce well. At all. I acted out a lot, closed myself off, and was just a fucking awful person.”

Shifting again, you take a deep breath. “My anger got to the point where Dustin, who was nine, had to practically plead with me to be nicer to him. He was a kid.”

“So were you,” Steve gently chimes in, but you roll your eyes at him. 

“Being a kid didn’t give me an excuse to abandon my loved ones like I did. Like my father did. It wasn’t until Dustin called me out on my bullshit that I realized the irony of the situation. There I was, blaming everyone else for my own problems and running away, because I was so hurt by my father doing the same to me.”

Steve clenches his jaw, and you know he wants to say more, but you watch as he exhales deeply and decides against it. “Okay, so you were mean and then you became kind again after something traumatic… So what?”

“I’m sorry?”

“I mean,” the boy sighs. “I was a dick for like, ten consecutive years. It took losing a fight to Jonathan, embarrassing myself in front of Nancy at least five times, losing my bullshit ‘friends’ Tommy and Carol, and some blonde guy with a fucking mullet before I was even able to become a decent person.” 

You frown. “What’s your point?” 

“My point is that you came back.” Steve shrugs. “The second someone you loved asked you to, you came back to being the selfless angel that you are. Which, by the way, is an impressive feat in itself.” 

He says this as if it’s obvious and that the months you spent hurting everyone around you can be redeemed. As if you haven’t spent every waking hour tirelessly devoting every piece of yourself to those around you to make up for them. To repent for your anger. 

Steve takes your silence as more defiance, and he runs a tired hand through his hair. He’s merely a few feet from you, at the foot of your bed on the bean bag, and yet it feels as if he’s inches yet yards away. “I know I can’t change your mind, but… I think that’s what matters the most in the end, ya know? You became kind.” 

“So did you,” you finally say, not quite ready to accept what he’s saying. 

Now it’s Steve who looks away. “Still working on the whole ‘kind’ thing.”

“Isn’t that what matters in the end?” You tease, feeling yourself warm with pride when you get him to laugh. 

“Touche.” 

Silence falls over the two of you, letting the tension lazily slip away for now. Your body hums with energy; the only other person you’ve told about your father to is Jonathan. You both have long since bonded over shitty father figures. However, even when you had whispered these truths to Jonathan back when you were thirteen, you don’t remember feeling quite so saw and vulnerable as you do right now with Steve. 

“I meant it, you know,” you catch Steve’s eye. “Back when you first drove me home last year. You’re alright. Not too shabby, honestly.”

This time a full body laugh cascades through the boy, He clutches at his stomach as he doubles over, breathless with joy. “Thanks, Y/N.” 

Steve is still laughing and this is the happiest you think you’ve seen him in months. The realization makes all the warmth you’ve felt earlier, vanish. You remember the hurt on his face earlier this week on Halloween, the tears in his eyes when he confessed that Nancy didn’t love him. 

You know how plagued Steve is about never being good enough, and for the first time since you’ve truly gotten to know him: you understand him in that very moment. 

Your eye catches on Steve’s adam’s apple as he swallows. It’s a tragedy, really, how attractive he is. You suppose it’s what caused his downfall, in the end. A pretty boy, rich and popular yet easily able to be taken down; it must be a lonely life with all that vulnerability.

“Can I tell you a secret?” You whisper, voice cutting through the darkness of your room as Steve seems to remember where he is, why and how the conversation started in the first place. 

“Always,”

“I’m scared of the compulsive need I feel to take care of everyone. It’s like… I don’t know, this debt that I feel I owe for existing, for the fear I feel because of my father leaving. I overcompensate for this fear now, terrified I’ll become mean again.”

Steve stares at your ceiling. “The whole ‘debt’ thing, I understand. Believe me. Rather than being a perfect angel, however, I just try my fucking hardest not to disappoint everyone around me and make them leave.”

Nancy, as she always seems to do, lingers between you and Steve now; you both can feel her presence without him having to say her name. He told you what she did to him, you tried to reassure him that it hadn’t been his fault, but Steve isn’t an idiot. 

Nancy never loved him. He knows this, now. 

You don’t say anything, you don’t think he’d want you to. Giving him some time, you allow Steve a few minutes to collect his thoughts, sensing he has more to say. Then, softly, he whispers back to you, “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Always,” you echo. 

“I just want to be loved.” 

With just one confession, a string of six words in succession, Steve Harrington crushes you. 

The words come crashing upon your chest and you wish you could tell him how easily you see yourself falling for him. How, even if you can’t admit it just yet, you’re already falling for him. You think you have been for some time now. 

Somewhere, in between him driving you home last year and the way the summer sun kissed his face months later, you began to fall in love with him. 

While you’re thinking this, Steve is laying in the bean bag, absolutely terrified of the words that have come out of his mouth. He’s always had the fear, deep down, that he was unlovable, but to admit the fear out loud… He’s never felt so weak before.

You’re silent and Steve thinks he’s finally done it. His pathetic need to be liked and loved by everyone around him has finally scared you away. How couldn’t it scare you away? You so naturally are loved by everyone while Steve compulsively demands it because he’s still that scared ten year old boy with a father who never showed him love. 

Then, because you’re an angel, you give Steve the response he hadn’t even known he needed to hear. “It’s natural to want to be loved. We all do. It’s human.”

He exhales at your words, still staring at the ceiling as if to somehow lessen the impact of what you’re telling him. There’s something there, hanging in the air after your words have disappeared, that Steve can’t quite understand. 

It almost sounded like you were trying to reassure yourself, as well.

“What’s the deal with you and Jonathan?” Though Steve’s voice is steady, you can tell that he’s trying not to sound too interested. 

The question is a simple one, but it’s the hardest question you’ve ever had to answer. Everyone asks you, sooner or later, if you and Jonathan are together. You never blame them for asking, because ultimately the two of you are  closer than the average friends, regardless of gender. 

It doesn’t make the question any less painful to answer, though. It doesn’t make hearing Jonathan’s laugh cut any less deeper.

As for Steve, he’s asked this question before, albeit with teasing and disbelief whenever you’ve told him there’s nothing there. Despite the numerous times you’ve corrected him, he’s never quite believed you.

This time, it feels different. There’s a weight behind Steve’s question, and your silence is all the answer that he needs. “You love him.”

The words aren’t a question, and they harbor no malice. He says them as if they are a fact; you suppose that it is. You don’t say anything, but you do nod your head at him. “I do… I think I’ve always loved him, honestly.”

You’ve never, ever said those words out loud. Not to anyone.

And now, you’re confessing them to Steve, who doesn’t have to ask you why your voice now holds melancholy within it. He knows, he’s always somehow known. Jonathan doesn’t love you, a fact in which Steve has never been able to wrap his head around. He’s watched the two of you for years, how easily you love one another, and yet somehow the love never blossomed into something more. 

Everything stills between you and Steve, allowing both your confessions to surround the two of you. “I’m sorry.”

Steve’s apology only causes you to shrug. “He’s still mine, at least for now. Is that so bad?”

“I mean, I guess not, but… Doesn’t it get exhausting?”

“God,” you squeeze your eyes shut, finally able to voice all you’ve been feeling to someone who can understand. “It feels like this crushing weight upon me every time I see him smile, like it’s a burden, carrying all this love within me without being able to express it freely. I just… I never thought that love could be so exhausting. ”

As the words start to come out, you find that you’re unable to stop. “I grew up with Jonathan, I learned the way he breathes and the way his hands feel pressed against my skin, but so much has changed and…” Your breath hitches. “He’s not someone I reach out to first anymore. It almost feels like I can’t. I love him, I do, but I also miss how it used to be before I realized everything.”

The pressure of tears builds behind your eyes and forces you to stop talking. If you say anything else, you’re afraid you’ll start crying. While Steve has been so lovely tonight, it wouldn’t be fair to ask him to console you so pathetically. 

Steve seems to hear the tears lacing your voice and speaks for you, having finally pieced together everything he’s been unable to articulate since November of last year. “With Nance, it feels like I’m always somehow two steps behind her and her feelings. Constantly playing catch up while the rules keep changing on me… I get the whole ‘love is exhausting’ thing.”

Though you know Steve means well, his words fucking terrify you. If he feels the same way towards Nancy, a girl who never ended up loving him despite how much he poured his heart out for her, what does that mean for you and Jonathan?

For the first time, you question if the exhaustion you feel surrounding your love for the boy is really something else. Something different, disguised as exhaustion. 

You wonder, deep down, if you’ve started to fall out of love with Jonathan.

Who are you if you have?

The boy has become so intertwined within your life, the threads and strings and lines have tied you to him indefinitely. He’s the reason behind your everything. If you no longer love Jonathan, then who are you, really?

The realization washes over you like cold rain in the middle of winter. It spills over you and pricks at your skin and you suddenly want the conversation to end. While you’re so relieved to be talking to Steve again, the conversation has left you with more realizations than resolutions. 

“It’s late,” you fake a yawn, desperate to cut the conversation short. “We should go to bed. Knowing Dustin, he’ll have us up at the crack of dawn to start looking for Dart.”

Steve sees right through you, he knows he’s somehow crossed a line and that you’re once again retreating. You’re closing yourself off from him again, but he’ll take whatever he can get from you. You’ve told him more than he ever thought you would, so for now he’ll play along. 

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He says, watching as you reach for your lamp and turn the light off. Then, as soon as you’ve rolled over and closed your eyes, you faintly hear his final words. “Don’t we make a pathetic pair?” 

You remember, before drifting off to sleep, feeling relief wash over you that Steve once again considers the two of you a pair.

– 

You wake up the next morning to the faint sounds of Dustin getting ready. His shower can be heard from your room, and through the years it's become your morning alarm. Yawning, you roll over and rub your eyes and take a few minutes to let your brain wake up. 

Bits of yesterday’s events come back to you. 

Dustin confessing about Dart. 

Locking the Demodog in your cellar. 

Radioing everyone in the party for help and getting no response. 

Going to the Wheelers for Mike and coming back with Steve. 

Dart going missing. 

And, most importantly, your bizarre conversation with Steve last night. 

The boy in question lets out a loud snore from the bean bag, blankets haphazardly twisted around his legs, and you stifle a laugh. Even in his sleep, Steve Harrington somehow catches all the attention in the room.  

You throw your blanket off and get out of bed, tiptoeing so as to not wake up the sleeping beauty, and head outside to your kitchen. If yesterday was any indication of how long today will be, then you need all the coffee in the world to get through it. 

The coffee has just finished brewing when you hear Steve stumble into the kitchen. His eyes are bleary and his hair is the worst it’s ever looked. “I guess even Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington can’t escape bed head, huh?”

Steve acknowledges your quip only by grunting, still stumbling around through your home. So he isn’t a morning person, you think with a smile while bringing your coffee mug to your lips and taking a careful sip. 

Eventually Steve makes it to your kitchen table and plops down, letting out a loud yawn and smacking his lips. He looks pathetically endearing, really, especially given his outfit that looks even worse after sleeping in it. The shirt has ridden further up, exposing a bit of his stomach (which you divert your gaze from, feeling yourself blush), and one of his too-short pant legs has ridden up to his knee. 

“You really are a natural beauty in the morning, Steve.” 

“Ha,” he says boredly, looking around the kitchen. “Do you guys have any food? I’m starving.” 

You toss him an apple from the fruit basket on the counter, and Steve only just manages to catch it in time to avoid it hitting his face.

“Christ!” He exclaims, glaring at you when you chuckle at his reaction. Maybe it was a little mean, but you see the small smile he tries to hide. 

“Is this all I get? An apple thrown at my face?”

You walk over to the table and set your mug down. “Were you expecting a home cooked meal?” 

“You’ll have to earn a Y/N Henderson breakfast,” Dustin says as he enters the kitchen and joins the two of you. His hair is still wet from his shower and he drips onto the counter, which makes you cringe. He’s such a boy, sometimes. 

He makes his way over to the fridge and rustles around, looking for something to eat. Truthfully, the reason you threw the apple at Steve is because there’s no food in your house at the moment. Your mom normally goes to the grocery store on Saturdays, and in her frantic rush to find Mews she hadn't left any money for you to go to the store. 

“There’s no food,” you inform your brother. 

He sighs dejectedly, grabbing a banana and then plopping himself next to Steve at the table. “All right, are you two awake enough to discuss the plan?” 

You nod immediately at Dustin’s question while Steve slumps further into his seat, groaning. You run a hand through his hair to try and settle down his theatrics. Dustin sees this and raises an eyebrow at you, but you shake your head and motion for him to keep quiet. 

“So,” he takes a bite from his banana and begins speaking with his mouth full, which you make a face at. “I was thinking we lure Dart with bait to a secure area that we can catch him in.” 

“Wait,” Steve sits up a bit in his seat, careful to not knock your hand off his head. “That’s all you got? That’s the entire plan?”

“Yes. Is there a problem?” 

“Oh, I don’t know,” he begins eating as well, his mouth also full and disgusting to look at, “Do you know how we’ll lure him? Or where? Better yet, how will we even catch him?” 

Dustin narrows his eyes. “Okay, so it’s a working idea. You got anything better?”

Steve opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He pauses for a second before seemingly drawing a blank and closing his mouth; he sinks back into his seat in defeat.

“That’s what I thought.” Dustin says smugly.

You take another sip of coffee, enjoying the mug’s warmth around your fingers. “Well, we at least know what Dart likes to eat.”

“We do?” Steve questions, looking up at you.

“Oh, just wait until you hear this,” you motion over to Dustin. “Go on, tell Steve what you’ve been feeding Dart.”

Now it’s your brother’s turn to sink into his seat, embarrassed. He mumbles something that Steve can’t quite hear.

“What?”

He mumbles again, only a tiny bit louder this time.

“Little Henderson, I can’t understand you.” Steve says, smirking when he feels you laugh against him. 

“I said he eats Musketeers Bars!” Dustin shouts, now incredibly defensive. 

In sync, you and Steve share a look. While you have an exasperated fondness on your face, Steve looks like he’s questioning every choice he’s made in his life. It’s cute that he thinks this is the weirdest things will get.

“Okay…” Steve looks over at your brother. “Unless you plan on buying out an entire candy store, we need something else for bait.”

In the corner of your eye you see Mews’ cat bed laying against the window, and an idea pops into your head. “Dustin, did Dart only eat the candy bars before he killed our cat?”

“Yeah, why?” 

As you walk over to the kitchen sink to place your mug in it, you begin explaining. “Then clearly he’s outgrown his sugar needs and would probably eat just about anything with flesh on it.”

Steve wrinkles his face with displeasure, not enjoying the thought of going after this monster that craves meat. He’s already done that, and call him crazy, but he really doesn’t want to experience anything like that ever again. 

Dustin’s eyes light up, following along with what you’re saying. “Raw meat! You’re a genius, Y/N!” 

“And then we can follow the train tracks to that old junkyard, the one that El brought you guys to last year. It’s a straight shot, Dart won’t get lost, and then we catch him.”

Dustin squeals. “That’s perfect!”

He stands up to hug you, which you gladly accept. “Yeah, yeah. We Hendersons are known for our genius,” you gently push your brother away and start exiting the kitchen. “I’m going to go shower and get ready. Steve, you’ll take Dustin to the butcher and see if you can haggle some raw meat out of him.” 

“Uh… can I change first?” He asks, running a hand through his hair with displeasure. 

Only now does Dustin notice Steve’s appearance and he lets out a loud cackle. “Oh, I think you look great!”

You shoot your brother a warning look, not wanting to upset Steve too much. He’s the only one with a car, and the party still hasn’t responded to Dustin’s calls, so he’s all you have right now. Plus, after last night’s conversation, you’re sure he’s feeling just as wound up and tense as you are. 

“We can swing by your place on our way to the train tracks. Your house is right next to it, anyways, and Dustin and I can scout the parameters while you shower and get yourself all pretty. For now, just go to the butcher's shop, please.” 

“But–” 

“Please, Steve?” You pout, daring him to argue with you again. Steve is only able to stand his ground for about five seconds before he groans and nods his head.

“Fine–” You quickly hug him before running towards the bathroom to get ready. 

Once you’re gone, Steve searches for his keys while Dustin stands in the kitchen, shocked. “I so need to know when you two became such good pals.”

“Go wait by the car, Little Henderson.” Steve waves him off, though he’s secretly pleased with how the morning is turning out so far.

–

“C’mon, man. It’s just chunks of raw meat, it doesn’t even matter what, uh, body parts they are, I guess.” Steve argues with the butcher, having no idea why you’ve sent him on this journey with Dustin. Neither of them have any idea about butchers and meat, so they’ve been arguing back and forth for a solid ten minutes with the guy. 

“And I already told you, it’ll be $15. Take it or leave it, pretty boy.” Pat, the butcher, says. 

Steve scowles at the name, “That’s insane for five pounds, you realize that? It’s just a bunch of meat chunks from god knows where, it’s not like we want prime rib you dirty sack of–” 

Dustin cuts him off, snatching the boy’s wallet from his back pocket and pulling out a twenty. “Ignore him, please! Here, thank you so much for your lovely service, good sir.”

Pat narrows his eyes at the boy, and for a split second Dustin is afraid that he’s trying to figure out the best way to skin them alive, before he simply grunts and takes the money. 

Relief washes over Dustin and he scrambles to grab the bags of meat, tugging at Steve’s sleeve in urgence until he gives in and begins to help as well. Within a few seconds, they’ve gathered all they need and head towards the car. 

“Keep the change!” Dustin calls out behind him. 

As soon as they’re in the car, he yells at Steve to step on it. It’s already been twenty minutes since they left the house, and he knows from experience to never keep you waiting. 

“Okay, okay, god.” Steve complies, pushing down on the gas and speeding away from the butcher’s shop. 

The smell of raw meat immediately infiltrates the car, so Steve rolls down the windows and sighs. This is definitely not the weekend he had in mind. He thought he’d apologize to Nancy, kiss and hopefully make up, and maybe even swing by your place to tell you the good news. 

Instead, he has buckets of raw meat in his car and his head is swimming from his conversation with you from last night. While he’s happy it happened, there’s still so much Steve feels like you aren’t telling him. To top it all off, he hadn’t been able to sleep in his own bed, but rather a bean bag that Jonathan apparently has slept in a million times before. 

As Steve is moping, he realizes that there actually wasn’t even a real need to spend the night. 

“Hey, Little Henderson,” Steve gently hits Dustin’s shoulder to get his attention. “Why did I have to spend the night at your place?” 

“Oh, you didn’t.” Dustin says as if it’s no big deal.

Steve turns his head towards him, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah, I didn’t think you’d actually spend the night if we’re being honest. I just thought it’d be funny to mess with you.” 

“I tried arguing with you, but you shushed me!” Steve exclaims, putting both hands back on the steering wheel aggressively. 

The younger boy shrugs, “What are you, seventeen? Eighteen? Why would you listen to a thirteen year old?” 

“Well, I–” As much as he wants to, Steve really can’t defend himself on this one. Shit. It’s not like he can tell Dustin that he mostly stayed because his sister is pretty and makes him feel safe.

Dustin smiles, happy to have won the conversation at hand, and decides to really rub it in as they pull up to the house. “I also thought it’d be hilarious to pair you up with my sister. Hope you two made smart choices last night.”

And with those words, Dustin springs out the car, leaving a speechless Steve behind. He turns the car off and sits there for a moment, completely at a loss for words. He’s only spent a total of sixteen hours with the kid, and already he knows he’s in for a world more of trouble. 

If you’re Hawkins’ sweetheart, then Dustin is the town’s horribly terrifying weasel. 

Meanwhile, you’ve just finished lacing up your shoes when Dustin walks in.

“Where are the rubber gloves that mom likes?” He asks in lieu of greeting you. 

“In the closet, second shelf, next to her cat figurines. Where’s Steve?”

Dustin rustles around the closet and pulls out three sets of gloves, “In the car, moping.” 

There’s a crash and then he tosses two buckets onto the carpet. You crouch down and grab the buckets, placing them on the table. “Why is he moping?”

“Why is who moping?” The man in question walks in, throwing himself on the couch and narrowly dodging the third bucket that Dustin throws out. “Why do you guys keep throwing shit at me, jesus!” 

“Language! There’s kids around,” You snap your fingers at Steve, who quickly cowers in shame. “And if it makes any difference, the bucket wasn’t intentional. The rest were, though.” 

Just as Dustin is finishing up in the closet, you spot a can of gasoline and an idea sparks in your head. If you learned anything at Jonathan’s house last year, it’s that these Demogorgon things really hate fire. “Hey, grab the gasoline as well.”

He does as he’s told, no questions asked, and then hands it to you. You add it to the pile on the table, along with two backpacks from your brother and your beloved switchblade. 

Steve gets up from the couch to investigate your stash, nodding approvingly. “Not bad, guys. What are we going to put in the backpacks, though?” 

Dustin goes into the kitchen and begins grabbing the few items within it. The remaining fruits in the basket, a few pieces of bread, a bag of chips, and some water bottles. “One bag will have our food, the other will have our weapons.” 

And with that, you guys are all set to head out. While Dustin is distracted with grabbing his backpack, you run towards Steve’s car and throw yourself into the passenger seat. Every man for himself. 

“What– Y/N!” He calls after you, but he’s too late. You’ve already buckled yourself up by the time he and Steve get into the car themselves. 

“She beat ya, buddy.” Steve teases, flashing you a proud smile. 

Dustin grumbles in the backseat, unamused, and for a moment you think he’ll leave it at that. However, because he’s Dustin, you see from the rearview mirror as his eyes spark with revenge. “So, Steve.”

The tone in his voice terrifies you. 

You place your head in your hands and sigh, mentally preparing for whatever your brother is about to say. 

“Yes, Dustin?”

“How long have you been friendly with my sister?”

“Dustin!” You whip your head around, lunging towards the back seat to swat at the boy, but he quickly scoots over to Steve’s side and avoids your hands. 

Steve, however, surprises you by simply shrugging and taking the question in stride. There’s no embarrassment on his face, no ounce of hesitation in his voice. “About a year now.”

“A year?” Dustin exclaims, having completely not expected such a response. “Y/N, how could you keep this from me?”

“She didn’t hide anything from you, buddy.” Steve defends you, eyes focused on the road. “I convinced her to be my friend after I saved her life–”

“You saved her life?”

“And then bought you boys snacks at the hospital afterwards. Then, because I really wanted to be her friend, I basically stalked her at work every day and annoyed my way into her life. We’ve been pretty close ever since.”

Dustin’s jaw is practically on the ground after Steve’s quick explanation, left speechless for the first time in his life. As for you, you’re admiring the way the early morning sun causes Steve to glow. You’ll never be over how often his beauty distracts you; you wonder how Nancy, or really anyone, could deny him love.

If you didn’t know Steve, if you passed by him on the street one day as complete strangers, you’re sure that a part of you would fall in love with him. 

Even with pieces of his hair standing all over the place, his shirt still being too small, he was a delicate kind of handsome that made you feel a certain warmth.

“Did I forget anything, Y/N?” Steve’s voice breaks you from your thoughts, and you quickly divert your eyes away from the way his arms look while holding the steering wheel. 

“No, uh.” You clear your throat, still recovering. Steve seems to be in good spirits for once, it’s a breath of fresh air seeing him so content, and yet it also serves as a stark reminder that you made the right choice when you first distanced yourself from him. He’s just too easy to love. “I think you pretty much covered everything. Unless Dustin has any questions?”

“Give me three to five business days to process this, please.” Your brother mumbles from the backseat, which you and Steve laugh at. 

The rest of the ride is relatively peaceful after that, and a few minutes later you arrive at Steve’s house. It’s different in the daylight, only ever having seen it late one night driving the boy home from the Halloween party. 

It’s a beautiful home, the smell of chlorine fills your nose. The pool, you remember Nancy mentioning his pool when she explained what happened to Barb. You shiver, now aware that you’re in the same place that your friend took her last breaths at, just a year ago. 

“The tracks are just over on the other side of the street, and I shouldn’t be too long, so you Hendersons can start figuring out the plan in the meantime.” Steve instructs you and Dustin, getting out of the car and entering his house. 

Dustin begins getting out as well, so you unbuckle your seatbelt and follow. Thankfully you decided to wear jeans today with a simple tank top and cardigan with your knit socks; though it was late October, it’s unusually sunny outside and the walk from Steve’s to the junkyard was easily four to five miles. 

The two of you walk over to the tracks and you survey the area. You’re not sure what exactly you’re looking for, but you figure it’s best to look focused in case Dustin yells at you. 

“We’ll need to go that way,” Dustin points in front of you, and you nod as you follow along. “We can drop the meat chunks every few sleepers so we don’t waste any of it.” 

“Sleepers?”

“These.” Dustin’s shoe scrapes against the bottom wooden planks. 

“You would know what they’re called.”

“Ha ha, any more quips or can I continue?”

You put your hands up in surrender and Dustin begins to speak again.

“Then once we get to the junkyard, we can dump whatever meat is left in a pile and put the gasoline on it. Once Dart is distracted and eating, we’ll light it on fire.” His words catch a bit at the end, and you suddenly feel bad for him. He clearly still cares about Dart, but you know your brother understands the risks of letting the Demodog live. 

Without saying anything, you reach over and pull Dustin in for a hug. He fights it at first, but after a couple seconds he gives in and hugs you back. You aren’t the most affectionate pair of siblings, but you love your younger brother fiercely. Not for the first time, you wish you could’ve done more to prevent him from discovering the Upside Down. 

You know it’s irrational to blame yourself and feel guilty, but maybe if you’d been more involved last year, then maybe he wouldn’t have so many nightmares. 

“I’m sorry about Dart,” you say softly against his hat. 

Dustin breaks away, shrugging his shoulders. “Gotta protect the party, right?”

“Right.” You flick his hat. “C’mon, let’s go back to the car and start putting the meat in the buckets.” 

True to his word, Steve is ready to go after about twenty minutes. He walks out of his house, freshly clean and put together, right as you and Dustin finish preparing the bait. He approaches from behind you, and you can smell his cologne. Memories from when he’d have his arms around you and you’d smell the familiar scent now wash over you. 

Clearing your throat, you turn to hand him gloves and a bucket, but almost drop it when you see him. 

He looks good. Like, frustratingly good. His hair is back in its usual style, but he’s wearing a dark blue polo and a gray jacket that fits him criminally well. You almost feel underdressed standing next to him with your ratty old cardigan, which you know is ridiculous to be concerned about. Plus, you’ve always known that Steve was attractive, so it’s stupid to be affected by it suddenly now. 

You guys had one emotional conversation. 

“Y/N?” 

Steve’s staring at you quizzically, and you quickly snap out of your thoughts and hand him the bucket full of bait and instruct him to put the gloves on. He listens, dutifully putting them on and placing the bucket on the ground and starts searching for one of the backpacks in the trunk. He’s seemingly in a much better mood now, which you’re thankful for. 

“Dustin! This is Lucas. Do you copy? Dustin?” 

Lucas’ voice rings out from Dustin’s walkie, and you perk your head up, relieved that he’s okay. The radio silence from the party was something that unnerved you immensely. With Dart on the loose, Will’s increasing episodes, who knows what else is happening in Hawkins at the moment? 

“Well, well, well, look who it is.” Dustin responds, placing his hands on his hips like a disappointed mother. You chuckle at him and continue helping Steve unload the trunk. 

You hear Lucas sigh into the walkie. “Sorry, man. My stupid sister turned it off.” 

“Tell Erica I say hi!” You call out, knowing Lucas will hear you. He always resented the fact that his sister is so nice to you. You’re the only living person who didn’t receive Erica’s insane insults, which is something you’re very proud of.

“Y/N?”

“Hi, Lucas!” 

Dustin shoos you away and continues to speak. “Well, when you were having sister problems, which really aren’t that hard to handle–” 

“Says you,” you butt in. 

“Dart grew again, he escaped, and I’m pretty sure he’s a baby Demogorgon.” Your brother finishes. By this point, you and Steve have pretty much unpacked everything in the car. 

“Wait, what?” You’d kill to see the look on Lucas’ face right now. 

“I’ll explain later, just meet me, Y/N, and Steve at the old junkyard.” As Dustin wraps up the conversation, Steve shoves his bat into the bag and you watch him with disappointment. He’s trying really hard to make it fit, and you almost pity the boy. Bless him. 

There’s a pause before Lucas asks, “Steve?”

Dustin doesn’t elaborate, instead instructing his friend to bring his binoculars and wrist rocket. You suppose it’s a good idea to add more weapons to your arsenal. Better safe than sorry.

“Steve Harrington?” Lucas asks again, this time even more confused. 

“He’s a friend,” you say, shoving your own weapons into the bag and slinging it over your shoulder. 

Steve closes the trunk and says, “Damn straight I am. Alright, let’s go.”

You follow after him, saying goodbye to Lucas as Dustin tells him to be at the junkyard stat. 

Dustin stashes his walkie in his own bag and then the three of you are off. Your brother and Steve walk a bit ahead of you as you all throw the meat chunks onto the ground, doing as Dustin instructed. It’s slow work, but you’re happy to have some time to yourself while the boys are distracted with each other. Their friendship wasn’t something you’d expect, but you’re incredibly happy about it.

You love the party, you’d do anything for them given all that you’ve been through together. However, as they grow older, you can’t help but notice how much they’re changing. Mike hasn’t been himself since El disappeared, Dustin is now hyper focused on science, Lucas is becoming his own person, and poor Will is just trying to recover from the trauma of last year. 

It’s been hard watching them grow apart, in a way. Nothing will ever be the same after the Upside Down, you know that, but watching the party slowly drift makes you sad for your brother. You’re glad he’s seemingly found someone like Steve to bounce jokes off of and feel appreciated by. You know that someday the kids will all come together again, it’d be impossible not to with how strong of a connection they all have, so you try not to worry too much.

You shove the thoughts down, you need to keep focused on Dart and contacting the rest of the party. So, you dutifully place the bait down and follow behind the boys and feel the time pass by. After about an hour of nonsensical conversation between Steve and Dustin, you hear the older boy finally ask the question of why your brother even hid Dart in the first place. 

“It’s complicated, okay?” Dustin defects, clearly uncomfortable with the change in conversation.

You keep your distance from them, but you keep an ear out just in case you need to intervene. 

“You claim you wanted to get famous off of it or whatever,” Steve drops meat onto the tracks and kicks his foot. “Call me crazy, but you don’t hide something that supposedly makes you famous.” 

He has a point, and Dustin scrunches his face up. He casts a glance your way and you do your best to appear distracted by the job at hand. You know Dustin’s guilty face well, so whatever he’s about to tell Steve will be good. When Dustin shuffles closer to Steve and lowers his voice, you get closer as well so you can listen.

You’re his older sister. It’s your damn job to be nosy.

“It was for this girl.” 

Simultaneously you and Steve react. He hums in approval, almost proud, while you scoff. “I knew it.”

Dustin turns around, horrified. “You knew?”

“Duh, you’re awful at hiding things from me. After Max was just conveniently outside the AV room when Dart originally escaped, I pieced it together immediately. Also, side note: you’re too young to be impressing girls. I told you to just be yourself, dummy.”

Steve lets out a snort. “Pretty ironic coming from you, Y/N.”

Suddenly you feel uncomfortable with his attention on you.

“I’m sorry?” Your voice is steady, but you can feel your hands shaking as you continue throwing the bait. 

“Ya know, your massive crush on Jonathan ever since you were twelve.” He laughs, as if it’s the funniest joke in the world. 

Dustin clears his throat aggressively, pointing to your hands. Steve sees the way that they shake, the tension you now carry in your shoulders, and he’s become familiar enough with you to know your anger cues. The teasing smile that had been on his face drops. He runs towards you so he’s now by your side, and Dustin sighs in disappointment. 

“I didn’t, like, mean anything by that, you know. I–uh, I was kidding, Y/N.” Steve tries to catch your gaze, but you pointedly stare straight ahead and clench your jaw. He’s stumbling over both his words and the tracks beneath his feet, trying desperately to appease you. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

“You’re an asshole, Steve Harrington.” 

“Y/N, please, I said I was sorry–”

You finally face him, grabbing his elbow to ensure he doesn’t move. “I told you that stuff about Jonathan in confidence. You don’t get to throw it back in my face, joking or not.” 

It doesn’t help that you’re already confused enough as it is about the boy and your feelings towards him. To have Steve tease you about it, especially because he knows how painful jabs about Nancy are… It really fucking hurts. 

Steve looks like a kicked puppy as you storm ahead of him and Dustin, putting enough distance between you guys so that you can’t hear their conversion that follows. 

“Shit…”

“You’re awful with women.” Dustin says, now continuing to walk. He doesn’t bother to follow after you, knowing that you need your space to cool down. “I wouldn’t follow her, by the way. Let her cool off.”

Steve sighs, now walking as well, “Yeah, I know.” 

They walk in silence for a little while, Steve hanging his head in shame and Dustin leading the way, frustrated by being stuck with two overly emotional teens. 

After a while the silence eats at Steve, so he decides to continue the conversation from earlier. “So, this girl… is she someone you’ve known a while?” 

Dustin shakes his head, “No, she’s new at our school. She’s super cool, though.”

“I remember back when I based my attraction to girls on their coolness.” Steve mumbles. 

“And look where basing it off their hotness has gotten you.” 

“Ouch,” Steve rubs at his chest, wounded.

Dustin laughs and flings some bait at him. “I thought that if I showed her Dart, she’d think I was cool, too, and like me.”

Steve sidesteps the thrown bait and tries to comprehend what the younger boy is saying. “So, you kept something that you knew was probably dangerous in order to impress a girl who… you just met?”

“Alright, that’s grossly oversimplifying things. And anyways, who are you to give me girl advice? My sister is literally three hundred feet ahead of us because you pissed her off with one singular sentence.” Then, almost as if as an afterthought, Dustin adds, “congrats, by the way. I’ve never seen someone piss her off so quickly.” 

“Look, this isn’t about me, okay? Sure, I messed up with Y/N, but it isn’t like I was hitting on her to begin with,” Dustin makes a disgusted face as Steve quickly continues, panicked. “So she doesn’t count. I just feel like you’re trying way too hard, man.” 

“Well, not everyone can have your perfect hair, alright?” Dustin grumbles. 

Steve shakes his head, slightly amused by the boy’s antics. He’s so much like you, and yet so different, and Steve is realizing it’ll take a lot to keep up with the kid. “It’s not about the hair, dude. Chicks dig more than just a good hairstyle.” 

“You’re literally known as Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington.”

“Hey, ‘King Steve’ is also there.” 

Dustin flings even more bait at Steve, now annoyed with him. “Whatever man, it’s not like you’d be any help anyways.” 

“Oh really? Well, Little Henderson, I’m about to blow your mind: the key to girls is just acting like you don’t care.”

“Even if you do?”

“Yeah, exactly.” Steve now brightens up, happy to finally be getting through to the boy. For Steve, he’s long since learned that the best way to avoid getting hurt is to pretend that he doesn’t care. “It drives them nuts.”

“Then what?” 

“You just wait,” Steve looks ahead, watching you and feeling like a complete dick. He really hadn’t meant to hurt you, hell the two of you were finally starting to get somewhere and yet… Steve fucked it up. As always. 

He can see that your shoulders are still tensed up, you’re walking faster than you need to be. He feels a heavy weight in his stomach, one that he’s never felt before; he doesn’t like it. “You wait… until you feel it.”

Dustin furrows his brows. “Feel what?”

Steve tears his gaze away from you and turns back to Dustin, beginning to explain the electricity between someone you’re interested in. Being the geek that he is, Dustin turns it into a scientific discussion and Steve does his best to steer the conversation back. 

“No, like sexual electricity.” He explains.

As soon as the words leave Steve’s lips, you whip around and shout, “Are you seriously talking to my little brother about sexual electricity?”

Both Dustin and Steve freeze in place, dumbfounded. You let out a loud groan and continue stomping away, now even more aggressively throwing the chunks at the train tracks. 

“How did she even hear me?” Steve whispers, terrified. 

“I don’t know,” Your brother whispers back, also equally frightened. “Sometimes I think she has powers like El.”

Once you’re a safe enough distance away from them, Dustin hesitantly brings the girl conversation back up. “Hypothetically, what do girls like?”

Steve takes a second to answer, carefully rolling the question around in his mind. “It depends on the girl. Some girls want you to be aggressive, ya know? Go in for the kiss, make them feel protected. Strong, hot and heavy. Like a lion.” 

Dustin hums to indicate he’s following along, but ‘like a lion’ has him a little worried about the reliability of the conversation. He knows that Steve is a lady’s man, but he’s also never seen him with any girl besides Nancy, and the one time he saw him with you, he had immediately pissed you off. 

So for all Dustin knows, it could be lies. 

Steve continues his confusing explanation. “But others? You gotta be slow, you gotta be stealthy… like a ninja!”

“Okay, what type is Nancy?” Dustin asks, hoping to get the teen to stop making stupid analogies. Lions, ninjas… maybe it was all lies. 

The question catches Steve off guard and he stumbles a bit, feeling the familiar sense of protectiveness, insecurity, over the girl as well as a new sense of loss. What type is Nancy? If he had been asked this a week ago, Steve would’ve told Dustin that she’s a nice girl, a girl he could happily bring home to his parents and proudly wrap around his arms. Now? He’s not so sure. 

Not when he can still see the anger and disgust in Nancy’s eyes that night at the party. 

“Nancy’s different,” he recalls his conversation with you from last night, how he’d confessed to always feeling two steps behind the girl and how exhausting it all is. “She’s just different. Let’s move on to the next question.” 

Dustin notices Steve’s change in demeanor but doesn’t say anything. He supposes that you and him have a lot in common, then. “Okay, what type would you say Y/N is?”

Once again Steve isn’t expecting the question Dustin asks. “What–” he trips over a twig and just barely manages to catch himself. “Why would you ask me that? She’s your sister, and I don’t even like her–”

“Relax, Romeo. She’s just similar to Nancy and the girl I like, and I figured you’d know Y/N well enough by now considering you guys slept together–”

“I slept on her bean bag–”

“And have been friends for like, a year. Plus, she’s in love with Jonathan, you’re in love with Nancy, and coincidentally they’re in love with each other. Figures that there’s some type intermingling between the four of you.”

How the hell does everyone know about Nancy and Jonathan? Steve thinks bitterly. 

He’s silent for multiple seconds, absolutely at a loss for what to say. He doesn’t know where to begin or what to even deny. Technically the boy is right, as much as it hurts Steve to admit. He’s all but lost Nancy to Jonathan, and you’ve lost Jonathan to Nancy. 

In an extremely messed up way, you and Nancy do have the same type. On top of that, both you and Nancy are close to Jonathan, so it’s safe to assume there’s similarities to the both of you that Steve doesn’t even want to touch on right now.

Even more importantly, Steve has yet to really decipher why your presence alone can make or break his entire day. Why, after months of not talking, it now feels like he’s finally come home again with you back in his life. 

He looks at you again, still angrily throwing your bait, and he supposes that you’re a lot like Nancy in certain aspects, and yet completely different from her. “Y/N is also different, I guess. She’s incredibly intelligent both emotionally and academically. Isn’t she like the top of her class?”

Dustin nods, proud of the Henderson intelligence, and Steve continues. 

“Right. I’d say she’s like Nancy, except she’s softer?” Steve cringes at his own words, suddenly uncomfortable with comparing the two of you. In his mind, you’re both your own separate entities that infatuate him in different ways. 

You both burn Steve; Nancy is like a shot of whiskey, the thrill that follows the burn. But you? You’re a fireplace after hours of being out in the cold, the burn of it warming his bones.

“Y/N is just… she’s special, but everyone knows that. Your sister is the most caring person I’ve ever met, and I know I’m a lucky son of a bitch to be someone she trusts.” 

Dustin snorts. “Yeah you are.”

Up ahead, you finally slow down and face the boys, now waiting for them to catch up and call out, “C’mon, ladies! The sun sets soon, I don’t want Lucas waiting in the cold all alone.” 

“Looks like I’ve been forgiven.” Steve says, relief evident in his voice, something that your brother doesn’t miss.

Dustin lets out another loud snort, patting him on the chest, “Oh, my sister may be forgiving, but she never forgets.” With that, he walks away to catch up with you. 

“Well, isn’t that ominous.” 

You greet the boys with a tired smile, knowing there’s no use holding resentment towards Steve. He couldn’t have known about your mixed feelings towards Jonathan, you know he had only been trying to get along with Dustin. 

Things are still weird between you two, despite the conversation from last night, but it’s hard to stay mad at Steve and honestly, you don’t really want to be mad at him. It’s been so lovely having him around again, and your own confusing feelings can wait. 

Steve leans in close to you, gently grabbing at your hand so that you don’t walk away. “Hey, we okay?”

His eyes are full of concern and his voice is sickly sweet like honey. With the honey, the remaining bits of anger vanishes. “Of course we’re okay.”

Steve exhales deeply and you giggle at him before remembering that Dustin is quite literally a few feet away from you two. Coughing, you hold up your bucket to point out how it’s almost empty. “I guess in my rage, I flung more than I intended. How are your buckets holding up?” 

The two boys hold their buckets up, giving you a mock solute to indicate that all is good. You laugh, impressed by how synched they’ve become in such a short time. 

“Alright, then. Let’s get going.” As you all begin to walk in line again, you ask, “What were you guys even talking about, anyways?” 

The boys glance at each other in a conspiring way, which causes you to roll your eyes. They’re acting like you asked for their deepest and darkest secrets. They seem to have a silent conversation for a couple seconds before Steve finally speaks up. 

“I was just giving Little Henderson some girl advice. Nothing serious.” 

You raise your eyebrows, your heart swelling a bit at the idea of Steve giving your brother advice. It’s sweet, really. “Girl advice, huh?”

“Yeah, why do you sound so skeptical?” 

“Because you’re terrible with girls.” 

Dustin now butts in, “He told me to be aggressive.” 

“I did not!”

“He also said that you’re softer than Nancy.”

You make a face. “Thank you? I think?”

Steve tugs at his hair in frustration. “You two are the worst people I’ve ever met. You know that, right?” 

In unison, you and Dustin reply, “We get that a lot.” 

Steve stares at the two of you with slight horror in his eyes. “Yeah, alright. I’m out.” 

You grab at his sleeve, gently stopping him from storming away. You give him an apologetic look and pull him close so that your chest bumps against his. “You’ve gotta get used to the Henderson humor, Steve.”

He looks surprised by your tugging at his sleeve before he lets a smile cross his face. He doesn’t do anything else, but he also doesn’t back away, either, and you find yourself blushing a bit under his gaze. 

You clear your throat and let go of his sleeve, stepping back a bit. “Anyways, why don’t you tell me what wise advice you have for my brother.” 

The smile that was just on Steve’s face vanishes as he looks away from you. “I was just telling the kid to not fall in love with his little crush. He’s too young for heartbreak and all that other shit.” 

“I’m not in love with her!” Dustin exclaims in disgust, but you’re too distracted by Steve’s words to assure your brother that you believe him. 

“Well, I believe that love is something beautiful.” You say, your words only meeting Steve’s turned back. He doesn’t acknowledge you, but you know his indifference holds no malice. He’s still hurting, still in love with Nancy Wheeler. “Dustin, you may be too young to be in love, but don’t listen to Steve. To love and be loved is the luckiest thing we can ever do, regardless of how it ends.” 

Dustin blanches at your words, grossed out now. “Okay, okay, stop! Love is gross. I get it.” 

You softly mumble sorry to him, now suddenly remembering that he’s only thirteen. When you were his age, the idea of love also grossed you out. Now, love is a concept that you’ve found a comforting warmth in, even if it's burned you a few times and has left you more exhausted than exhilarated. One day he’ll understand (in the far off future, hopefully). 

For now, you flick your brother’s hat and follow after Steve, finishing the rest of the bait journey in silence. 

– 

By the time the three of you get to the junkyard, it’s already about midday. 

It’s different from how you imagined it, filled with old cars and a giant school bus. It’s more open, too, not as “junkyard” as you assumed. 

You, Steve, and Dustin stand at the top of the hill, surveying the area. Your feet ache from the walk and the sun is hurting your eyes. Seeing you squinting, Steve wordlessly hands you his signature Raybans and motions for you to put them on. 

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, this will do. It’ll do just fine,” He says, satisfied as he begins to walk down the hill. Then, as an afterthought, he says to Dustin, “Good call, dude.”

Dustin beams with pride and you fill with so much happiness, seeing the boy getting along so well with Steve, that you almost regret not having them meet sooner. However, there’s no time to wallow in what-if’s and you put Steve’s sunglasses on to follow after the boys. 

Immediately you and Steve get to work, working seamlessly together side by side, months of him joining you in Bookstrordinary finally being put to use. While you and Steve silently scatter more meat and grab supplies, Dustin surveys the area.

Just as you’ve dumped the remaining meat in the middle of the field, you hear Lucas’ voice call from a few yards away, “I said medium well!”

The boy is with Max, who looks slightly displeased, yet curious, to be here. Despite her still obvious hesitation, you still feel excited seeing the girl. You’ve been meaning to talk more to her, she seems like such a lovely girl. 

“Who’s that?” Steve asks you.

“Max! She’s great, and–” You start gushing about the girl, eager to go and say hi, before you see the crestfallen look on Dustin’s face when he realizes why she’s with Lucas. You remember, then, the weird tug-of-war between the boys over her. Shit. 

You grab at Steve’s hand and pull him aside. “Actually, Steve, why don’t we start finding some panels to cover the bus?”

Steve gives you a questioning look, but when you silently motion towards Dustin and he sees his despair as well, he catches on and just nods, following along. Without having to tell him, he understands that you want to leave Dustin alone so he can talk to Lucas. 

As always, you’re forever thankful that he can read you so well. 

After guiding Steve away, you and him begin to prep the junkyard alongside Max. While the boys are talking, you take this as an opportunity to get to know the girl better. 

“So,” you begin, helping Max carry a large piece of wood over to the bus. “I see you’re back again.”

“Looks like it,” she shrugs, not really feeling like talking. Seems like she’s still mad at you for yesterday, taking Lucas’ side over hers. 

You sigh. “Well, I’m glad you’re here.”

“That’s a first.” Again she deflects, but you know she’s doing it out of hurt rather than maliciousness. 

“I know you don’t really like me right now, which I totally understand, I just wanted to let you know that while I don’t like that you’ve been dragged into this mess, I’m happy you’re here.”

Max frowns at you. “You guys act like I’m going to like, die or something.”

A scrap of metal that you’d been carrying slips from your hands. Steve hears this and comes rushing over to help, but you gently wave him away and focus on Max. “I don’t know what Lucas told you, but it’s all true. It’s dangerous, being here, and I just… If you ever get hurt, any of you kids, then it’d be on me and I’d never forgive myself.”

“Way to be a buzzkill, Y/N.” Steve nudges you, trying to get you to smile before your ever-present guilt bears down upon you. 

Max bites her lip, still disbelieving, but she recognizes the pained look of protectiveness on your face. It’s not something that someone can easily fake, and from what she’s heard about you, your kindness is one of the few genuine things in Hawkins. 

Before she can say anything else, Steve lets out a huff and grabs a chair to bang on the car that Lucas and Dustin are talking behind. “Hey! Dickheads! How come it’s only Y/N and some random girl helping me?”

“Language!” You chastise. 

Steve sends you a thumbs up, not really listening. “We lose light in forty minutes. Let’s go!”

Dustin and Lucas reluctantly start helping, both calling Steve an asshole and throwing him dirty looks, which you can’t help but laugh at. 

Lucas sees you laughing and points at you. “Are you the reason Harrington is here?”

“Mhm,” you respond, nailing another piece of wood to the bus. “He’s done more to help than you have, so either pick up some metal and help or go sit in a corner and sulk. Up to you.”

Steve high fives you. “Yeah! What she said!”

Lucas’ shoulders sag, completely at a loss as to how any of this has happened. “This is so weird.”

“Dude, I’ve spent all day with them. Imagine how I feel,” Dustin groans. “I think I died a little when I found out they’ve been friends for like, a year.”

“A year?” Lucas gasps. 

“Guys!” You throw pebbles at the two boys to break up their little gossip session. “One, I’m incredibly hurt you two didn’t think I had any friends besides Jonathan. Two, start helping before I throw more rocks.”

“Yes ma’am,” both boys grumble in unison, which Max finds pretty impressive. 

After that, the five of you get to work. You guys use every item available in the junkyard to secure the bus, hoping that with enough stacked against it, you’ll be safe from Dart once he’s lured. Barrels are rolled, more sheets of metal are placed against the bus, and within the next hour or so you’ve successfully managed to build a decent base. 

All that’s left is to pour the gasoline trail, which you help Steve with as the kids watch from inside the bus. 

“I’m getting major deja-vu right now,” you mumble as Steve pours. 

“Gasoline at Jonathan’s?” 

“Mhm. God, he wouldn’t believe what we’re doing right now.” You know he would’ve loved this bizarre interaction. You, Steve, and the kids all in a junkyard trying to lure a baby Demogorgon. 

You’ve definitely had better babysitting days, and Jonathan would have a field day with this one. 

Once you’re done with the gasoline, you and Steve return to the bus. He waits behind you, making sure you’re securely in the car, before he heaves the old bus door closed. As soon as the door is closed, you and Steve exhale together.

You share a look, both in silent agreement to keep the kids safe no matter what. It’s your guys’ job to keep them safe, to fight for and protect them. 

Deja-vu again. You’re back in Jonathan’s house, holding a switchblade while Steve wields his bat. 

“Ready?” He asks you, extending his hand out for you to grab. 

You interlock your fingers through his. “When am I ever?”

Steve laughs, dispelling away any remaining uncertainty and fear. You know, that no matter what, that he’ll be by your side to help. With this in mind, you join the kids further into the bus. 

Lucas climbs the ladder up to the top, something you’re not fully okay with, but he’s the one with the binoculars and you the switchblade, so it makes the most sense. As the boy climbs, you sit down next to Steve as he flicks his lighter on and off. You’re pressed shoulder to shoulder, his presence grounding you.

Dustin paces, and all you can do is watch him as you try to settle your own nerves. Max has seated herself at the other end of the bus, her arms crossed as usual. 

After a few moments of silence, she finally speaks. “So, you really fought one of these things before?”

Steve nods and you hum in agreement. “Unfortunately.”

“And you’re, like, totally, 100% sure it wasn’t a bear?”

“I mean, to be fair I also had that same thought last year–”

Dustin cuts you off. “Shit, don’t be an idiot, okay? It wasn’t a bear.”

You roughly grab at your brother, yanking him towards you to shut him up. “Dustin–”

“Why are you even here if you don’t believe us?” He sneers at Max, something you’ve never, ever seen your sweet brother do. “Just go home.”

Max clenches her jaw and you send her an apologetic look, but she rolls her eyes at you. “Geesh, someone’s cranky. Past your bedtime?” 

“Max, wait–” She ignores you and climbs up the ladder to join Lucas. You groan once she’s gone, now more than ever wanting to strangle your brother. “Dustin, what the hell was that?”

“That was good, Y/N!” Steve says, a proud smirk on his face. “He showed her he didn’t care, just like I told him to.”

“Oh, so it’s your fault my sweet, innocent baby brother is now some woman hating misogynistic piece of–”

“I don’t hate women, Y/N.” Dustin tiredly says, before directing his next words to Steve. “And I don’t care.”

Steve winks at the boy, but immediately flinches back when you raise your hand to smack him. “Yeah, cower away, you idiotic and moronic–”

“Y/N, stop overreacting and Steve, stop winking at me.”

You raise your eyebrows at Dustin’s tone and he quickly clears his throat and steps away from you. Steve puts some distance between you two as well, scooting away a bit so that he’s out of hitting range. 

It’s quiet again, both boys now scared of your anger, and you anxiously wait for Dart to show up. 

Steve goes back to flicking the lighter, Dustin paces again, and you tap your foot nervously. The silence is killing you, it’s always been your least favorite part of the Upside Down. The waiting, hoping you’re prepared for when all hell inevitably breaks loose. 

You flick your own blades out, admiring the way the blades catch in the moonlight, when you hear a loud growl come from outside. Instinctively you raise your blades to your face while Steve and Dusin scramble to peek through the metal sheets to look out the window. 

“You guys see him?” Dustin asks as he crouches next to you. 

You shake your head. “No,”

There’s nothing outside, only a thick haze of fog that has settled over the junkyard. 

“Lucas, what’s going on?” Your brother calls up to his friend.

“Hold on!” The boy responds. 

Your heart begins to beat faster, your blades never straying away from your face, poised for a fight. Steve sees the way your knuckles whiten over your weapon and he grabs your spare hand, gently coaxing you to calm down. 

Your fingers tighten around Steve’s and you remember his words from last night, promising you that he’ll be there, and you believe him. 

From the bus’ roof, you hear Lucas call down, “I’ve got eyes! Ten o’clock–ten o’clock!”

There, in the haze of fog, you see a hunched figure stalk its way towards the bus. Seeing Dart, you’re filled with complete dread. He’s grown again, much bigger than you’ve ever seen him.

He’s practically the size of the Demogorgon from last year, the same one that almost killed you and Steve. 

“What’s he doing?” Dustin asks, as if anyone else would have any more information than he does. 

“I don’t know,” Steve sighs, his eyes never leaving Dart. 

You squeeze his hand again and hold your breath as you watch the Demodog. He slowly approaches the bait, inspects the area, but he doesn’t seem to be interested in it. You send a silent prayer to whatever god is above that your plan will work. 

It has to work. 

However, Dart starts to back away from the bait and Steve leans even closer to the window. “He’s not taking the bait. Why isn’t he taking the bait?”

“I don’t know,” you want to cry from exhaustion and fear and defeat. 

Dustin looks over at you. “Maybe he’s not hungry?”

Something seems to click, then, for Steve. His eyes light up with an idea, and before he can even get his words out, you grasp at Steve’s arm and try to talk him out of it. “No, absolutely not. You’re not going out there.”

“Maybe he’s sick of cow.” Steve tries to make you let go of him, but you quickly tighten your hold on him and fight back. “Y/N, let me go, I can run fast and–”

“You can’t just use yourself as bait!” You plead, but Steve has always been stronger than you and he drags you behind him as he makes his way towards the bus door. “Steve, listen to me!”

“Steve? Steve!” Dustin finally catches on to what’s happening and he grabs at the teen as well. “What are you doing?”

Steve ignores you both and with a quick jerk of his arm, he frees himself from you. As soon as you’ve let go, he runs towards the door and snatches his bat from the ground. You curse, knowing there’s no way in hell he’s going out there alone, so you follow after him. 

Dustin sees this and panics. “Y/N, please don’t tell me you’re going–”

“Stay put!” You command, scrambling after Steve, who has now begun to open the door. He tosses you the lighter, which you toss to your brother. “Just get ready, Dustin!”

“Y/N!”

“I love you!”

Dustin continues to shout, his pleas laced with more fear than you’ve ever heard from him, but you force yourself to leave. Just as you’ve stepped outside and re-closed the bus door, Dustin pounds against the glass that you’ve locked, tears in his eyes.

You look away, despite how fucking hard it is, and it takes everythin within you to leave. 

Steve saved your life last year. 

Now it’s your turn. 

It’s tense outside as you and Steve walk back to back, weapons out. He twirls his bat a few times, a move that you find yourself smiling at due to its familiarity. With your back against his, you whisper to Steve, “You look for Dart, I keep an eye for anything else?”

He nods, and together the two of you slowly follow the sound of Dart’s chittering. 

“C’mon buddy,” Steve taunts, beginning to whistle. 

“I know we named it a Demodog, but I don’t think whistling will help.”

“We could be about to die, and you’re seriously questioning what I’m doing?”

You shrug, eyes now on the skyline as the fog slowly thickens. “Habit.”

Steve chuckles, which brings some comfort to the fucking awful situation at hand. He whistles some more, continuing to taunt Dart. “C’mon. Dinner time.”

“Again with offering Dart meals while we’re near him,” you shake your head, not at all liking where any of this is going.

“What? At least human tastes better than cat.” Steve responds, now at the pile of raw meat.

You both stop here, Steve facing the bait and you facing the bus, still scanning for literally anything else that could possibly go wrong. Because you’re Y/N Henderson and nothing can ever, ever go right for you. 

Dart lets out another growl, now having spotted Steve, and the teen swings his bat around. You spare a quick glance behind you and see Dart, who has placed all his focus on you and Steve. 

Well, at least the live bait plan is working. 

You turn away again, and as soon as you do, you see the other Demodogs now suddenly appear. Your blood runs cold when you see the two up ahead, one directly in front of you and one on top of the cars. 

For a moment, your words seem to fail you and no sound comes out when you try to speak. All you can do is stare at them, overcome with fear. You’re back in Jonathan’s once more, the fear strangling you as the memories paralyze you. 

From the top of the bus, Lucas yells, “Steve! Y/N! Watch out!”

“We’re a little busy here!” Steve yells back, eyes still on Dart. 

The Demodog in front of you starts to approach, which finally seems to break you from your spell. Shakily, you tell Steve, “There’s more.”

“What?” He tries to turn around, but you shove at him to not lose sight of Dart. You can’t distract him now. Another Demodog has joined.

“Three o’clock! Right in front of Y/N!” Lucas screams, his voice cracking with fear. 

“Y/N?” Steve fully turns around now when he realizes that you’re also in danger, and when he sees the three other Demodogs, he lets out a curse. “Shit.”

Suddenly, you and Steve are surrounded by Demodogs, more than you ever could’ve imagined. More than the two of you can even fight on your own. 

Back at Jonathan’s, it had taken guns, fire, knives, and bats to kill a grown Demogorgon. 

You don’t think your knives and Steve’s bat will be enough for Demodogs. 

“Steve! Y/N! Abort!” Dustin has flung the bus door open, screeching for the two of you to get out of there. 

It’s too late. Dart has opened his mouth and is running towards you two, his friends joining as well. 

“I go left, you go right!” Steve has just enough time to direct you before Dart lunges. 

You dodge, going right as instructed while Steve flings himself on top of a car to avoid the monsters. As Steve hits Dart with his bat, crouched against the car, you narrowly avoid the other Demodog and drop to the ground as it jumps over your head. “Shit!”

Steve swings his bat again and tries to make his way over to you, but you’re off the ground in a heartbeat and run to him instead. Two of the Demodogs are on him now, and there’s only so much damage his bat can do. Breathless, you run over and stab at their backs, doing everything you can to give Steve an opening to run. 

Faintly, you hear the kids in the background cheering you guys on, urging you two to come home.

One of the Demodogs lets out a harsh screech as your blade pierces its skin. It crumbles to the ground, giving Steve just enough of an opening to begin running towards the bus. When he goes to run, you notice one of the Demodogs eying him, and before you can even process what’s happening, you’re throwing yourself in front of him and you feel nails tear at your ribs.

You scream, clutching at your side in agony, feeling blood quickly beginning to spill from your wound. “Fuck!”

“Y/N!” Steve starts to run toward you, pale with fear. 

“No!” You shove him back towards the bus; you can’t let him get hurt because of you. “Go, I’ll be fine!” 

He tries to argue, but you take a deep breath and grip his jacket tightly, practically flinging him inside the bus just before Dart lunges again. Together, the two of you stumble up the steps and barricade the door. 

As soon as it’s closed, Dart begins slamming against it with his entire body. 

Steve uses his legs to hold the door closed while you lay sprawled on the ground, trying to steady your breathing as more blood spills from you. The room is spinning and you’re pretty sure you can taste blood in your mouth. 

Awesome. Cool. 

The kids are screaming and Dart’s body causes the entire bus to rock as his friends now join, throwing their own bodies against the bus as well.

“Are they rabid or something?” Max screams, but everyone ignores her. 

Steve, quick as ever, finds a spare piece of metal and wedges it against the door and uses his legs again to hold it in place. He looks over at you on the ground and feels his heart jump to his throat. You’re pale, a sheen of sweat now dotted across your forehead, and there’s now a concerningly large pool of blood where you lay. “Dustin, go help your sister!”

Dustin looks up and finally notices your injury and almost faints at the sight. In a daze, he runs over to you and kneels down, terrified of how much blood there is. “Oh my god.”

“I’m fine,” you wince, trying to clench your teeth and bear through the pain. “Honestly, this is like a paper cut.”

“Y/N–” The sound of glass shattering cuts Dustin off as a Demodog breaks through the window. Everyone screams, and your brother grabs your arms and drags you further towards the back of the bus to avoid any glass getting on you. 

Wearily, you watch as Steve does whatever he can with his bat, and a part of you wants to laugh. He looks like he’s playing the hardest game of wack-a-mole ever. 

Meanwhile, Lucas and Max have joined you and Dustin. When they see you, Lucas lets out a choked scream while Max covers her eyes. 

“Are you okay?” Lucas kneels over you as well, and you find his sincerity endearing. He’s always been the sweetest in the group, the most comforting. 

“Never been better,” you wheeze out. 

Dustin instructs Lucas to stay with you while he tries to radio for help. “Is anyone there? Mike? Will? God? Anyone!”

“God would be pretty nice to have.” You remark, pain making you even more delirious than usual. 

Max looks at Lucas. “She’s losing it.”

“I think I’m doing great, all things considered.”

Dustin continues to scream into his walkie for help while Lucas tries to stop your bleeding. Max is running around, looking for anything to help, and Steve is still stuck at the front of the bus playing wack-a-mole with Demodogs. 

The situation is so fucking grim, and you’ve never wanted to laugh more. 

Then, to make matters even worse, the ceiling of the bus starts to creak. You see the faint outlines of what suspiciously looks like Demodog footprints on the roof. In slow, agonizing footsteps, Dart makes his way over to the emergency exit on top.

He leers over, and Max, who is at the bottom of the ladder, screams. 

Steve shoves the kids back and you try to get up, but Lucas pushes you down and shakes his head at you. 

“You want some? Come get this!” Steve places himself between Dart and you and the kids, screaming at the thing and waving his bat around, and you’ve never been more attracted to him.

Dart lets out a blood curdling screech, his mouth full of rows of razor sharp teeth that killed your cat just the other day, and you cling onto Lucas’ hand. Another screech, and just before Dart strikes at Steve, it jumps off the bus and runs away. 

Everyone freezes, unsure what to do, as more distant growls and howls can be heard from outside. Steve and the rest stand up, and you notice Lucas holding Max’s hand, and at least something good came out of this hellhole of a day. 

“Any help here?” You finally ask after a minute or so, still lying helplessly on the ground as you bleed.

“Shit!” Steve drops his bat. “Where did it get you, where’s the bleeding? Dustin, did we pack any bandages, or–or an EMT stretcher or–”

“Steve,” you grab his hand, urging him to calm down. “It scratched the fuck out of my ribcage, but I’m not dying. I promise.”

“You’re not?” Dustin asks, tears in his eyes. 

“I’m not. I just…” you shift, wincing at the pain. “I just really need a bandage and I’ll be good as new.”

Steve swallows, a frenzied look in his eyes, and nods. Without thinking, he tears a piece of your bloodied cardigan off and gently lifts your body up so that he can wrap the shred of cloth around you. He weaves it tight, his movements slow and delicate, his eyes never leave yours. 

You can feel his hands shaking as he tends to your wound and ties the cloth with a knot. When he’s done, even though you’re aware of the kids’ eyes on you two, you bring his hands to your lips and kiss them. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” He whispers, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. Dustin coughs, which seems to make Steve remember where he is, and he clears his throat. “Right, well. Try not to lose any more blood, yeah?”

“I’ll try,” 

Steve nods and stands back up, knowing Dustin and Lucas will want a moment with you, and makes his way back outside. He knows that they’re all still in danger, even if for some reason the Demdogs seem to have left. 

Once Steve is gone, Dustin and Lucas help you stand, and as soon as you’re up, both boys try their best to give you a hug without hurting you. 

“Don’t do that ever again,” Dustin sniffs, squeezing your uninjured side tightly.

“What he said,” Lucas sniffs as well, though he tries to hide his tears from you. 

You laugh, your own tears evident as you hold the boys tight. “I promise.” 

“You saved Steve,” Max notes, though her tone is neutral, you can see she’s impressed.

“I had to even out a debt.” 

“Guys,” Steve calls from outside. “The coast is clear.”

Slowly, you and the kids make your way out of the bus. It takes some help from both Dustin and Lucas, but eventually you’re able to walk on your own, holding your side, and walk down the steps. 

“You okay?” Steve is by your side as soon as you’ve stepped down, holding you so that he’s not touching your cut. You’re thankful for his support, the pain still making you feel woozy. 

“We’ll talk later,” you motion towards the kids, not wanting to worry them any further. 

He nods, although he hates that you feel like you can’t focus on your own safety. 

“What happened?” Lucas asks the group. 

“I don’t know.” Max looks around, and you think she’s finally starting to understand what she’s gotten herself into. 

Dustin points to you and Steve. “Maybe they scared ‘em off?”

“No,” Steve shakes his head. It couldn’t have been that easy. “No way.”

“They’re going somewhere.” You finish for him, confirming your worst fears. Suddenly, more pain shoots through you and you wince again, squeezing your eyes shut. 

Steve bends his head down, guiding you a bit away from the kids so that they won’t hear. “Hey, we don’t have to follow them. We can go home, you know.”

“We can’t.” You clench your jaw as pain rings throughout your body. The goddamn Demodog got you good. “We have to follow. It’s all connected, Will and his episodes, Nancy and Jonathan with the detective, and I’ll be damned if I back down now.”

“So we follow?” Steve asks, trusting whatever call you make.

You nod, knowing you have to do this. While you guys are safe for now, you know that everyone else has to be in danger; you have to protect them. “Unfortunately.” 

-

⌑ series masterlist

⌑ if you would like to be added/removed from my taglist, just let me know :)

⌑  taglist: @siriuslysmoking @sheisjoeschateau @myeclispedsun @innercreationflower @juhdoche @frostandflamesfanfic @goosy-goose @quinnsadilla @munsons-queen @stefansring @rice-elephant @bex22109 @bitchkeery @bex22109 @officerrrfriendly @kazunish @idkitsem @emilieluckwood @ryoujoking @criesinlies @tagakalat @dcnerd98 @sucker-4-angst @kitdjarin1 @onecojg @innazra @areiofhope @spaghetittied @cultish-corner @g8sstuff @videogamesandpoorlifechoices

#steve harrington x henderson!reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #stranger things #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things rewrite #slowburn #angst #wtlws #m's writing #this chapter almost killed me #but bug and steve FINALLY TALKED !!!! #also ilu lucas ur my baby

[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: Joel suffers a PTSD episode of when Sarah was killed and accidentally hurts you.]

PTSD, Angst, physical violence.

“Did you see the way she looked at me?” Joel stopped and looked down as he took a deep breath.

“I could’ve really hurt her, Tommy”

It was late in the night and you woke up realizing Joel wasn’t in bed beside you. Joel never left your side without letting you know where he would be, especially in the night. Tonight it was strange, you woke up careful not to wake up Tommy or Ellie who were in their own rooms down the hall. You could hear a faint mumbling coming from the living room and silently followed the sound.

Stepping into the main room you could see Joel facing out the window and still mumbling something to himself that you couldn’t make out.

“Joel?” You whispered as you walked towards him but he didn’t respond.

“Joel?” You gently touched his arm when he suddenly grabbed you by yours and slammed you against the wall. You whimpered as he took hold of your face in his large hand and looked at you with eyes you did not recognize.

“You killed my daughter” he squeezed your face as you looked up at him with horror and confusion.

“Joel!” You screamed as his hand moved to your throat with a tight squeeze. You gasped for air hitting his chest when the lights suddenly turned on and you heard Maria’s voice.

“Tommy!” She screamed out for him, the second he heard her voice he came running out.

“Shit” he uttered before grabbing Joel from behind and putting him in a choke hold.

“It’s me! It’s Tommy!, I’m gonna let you go just calm down, I need you to listen to me-“ Joel tried to fight it at first but slowed down as Tommy bought him to the ground. You coughed gasping for air as Maria ran to you making sure you were ok, your hand on your chest you couldn’t believe what had just happened. Looking back at Joel you could see he wasn’t himself, he didn’t notice anyone around him.

“Joel, you hear me?” Tommy yelled when suddenly Joel broke down in tears as Tommy let him go.

“It’s alright brother, it’s alright. Just another nightmare” you watched as Tommy comforted his brother as you stood still trying to catch your breath when Joel suddenly looked up at you, his face instantly changing realizing what he had just done.

“Oh my god” Joel pushed himself up coming towards you. You panicked quickly backing away as Maria got inbetween both of you.

“Hold on a minute, Joel. Give a her a minute”

Looking at him, all you could see was big brown tearful eyes.

“Jesus Christ, I hurt you-“ he spoke in shock with himself.

“I’m so sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to“ he spoke with desperation looking over Marias shoulder. Never had you seen him look so vulnerable before. You had no idea how to respond but you could see how distraught he was.

“Let me take her to the room, just stay here for a bit with Tommy,” Maria quickly turned to you guiding you to the bedroom as you silently cried without turning back.

Tommy could tell Joel felt horrible, watching him pace back and fourth in the living room not knowing what the hell to do with himself.

“You didn’t do it on purpose, Joel”

“Did you see the way she looked at me?” Joel stopped and looked down as he took a deep breath.

“I could’ve really hurt her, Tommy”

“Look, you had a nightmare about that night and you haven’t had one in a long time alright, you weren’t looking to hurt her” Tommy explained.

You could hear them in the living room talking as Maria closed the door.

“He’s never had a nightmare with me. I don’t know what happened” you whispered as you looked at yourself in the mirror, bruising already forming around your neck.

“He told me about them but I thought…I thought he was doing better now. I shouldn’t have walked up behind him like that” you whispered shaking your head.

“Look, it’s not your fault or his. Maybe it best you two don’t sleep together tonight, I can stay with you if you’d like.” You nodded in a bit of relief.

“Thank you, Maria” you whispered as she left the room to let them know.

Joel instantly looked up as Maria walked towards them.

“How is she?” He asked eagerly walking towards her.

“She’s a little startled Joel. I think it’s best I stay with her for tonight, you both get some rest and talk about it tomorrow.”

“She needs to know I didn’t mean to do that, she knows that don’t she?”

Maria simply nodded before walking back to the room and closing the door.

The next morning you were too anxious to leave your room, you waited until you heard everyone leave. Fixing yourself up you did your best to cover the bruising on your neck with your long dark hair when you heard a knock. You head turning so fast you winced at the slight soreness you felt. You thought everyone had left, at least you hoped.

“If you don’t wanna open the door, that’s fine. I just need you to listen” Joel’s voice on the other end made you take a deep breath. Slowly walking towards the door you unexpectedly opened it, surprising him as he looked down at you. You hadn’t realized moving your neck so quickly your hair was no longer covering the bruise, allowing Joel to see the harm he’d done. His jaw clenched and you quickly noticed what he was looking at and moved your hair to cover it. Joel thought he was ready to say something, but seeing what his hands had done to you he was left with no words.

“I’m not mad at you” you assured him with a soft whisper.

“You didn’t deserve that” he looked down taking a shaky deep breath flaring his nostrils.

Joel was angry with himself in a way he had never been before.

“I’m fine” you barely sounded convincing to yourself.

“What if Tommy wasn’t there-what if-“ he couldn’t even finish the sentence, the thought of anything happening to you he simply couldn’t take.

“You know I would never do anything to you like that purposely right? I swear, baby if I knew it was you-“

“Joel, I know” you assured him with tears in your eyes. You could see the guilt he felt eating away at him.

“Let’s just forget this happened” you caressed the side of his face with a smile he could see right through.

“Shoot, sorry-“ Ellie suddenly appeared through the door catching you both by surprise.

“I was just gonna head to my room” she furrowed her brows taking a better look at you.

“Hey what the heck happened to you?” You quickly covered your neck with your hand turning away as Joel took a step towards Ellie, covering her view of you.

“Ellie please go to your room”

“Ooook then” she raised her brows walking backwards as she stepped inside and closed her door. When Joel turned back he realized you had walked into the room and quickly followed. Your back to him you quickly wiped away any tears before he could see.

“Hey” he reached out to your arm making you unexpectedly jump. The sight of you even the slightest bit afraid of him broke him. He a took a step back but all he really wanted to do was hold you.

“You want me to go?”

“No” you quickly responded turning to him.

“Stay” you gently reached your arm out to his hand taking hold of it.

“I’m fine, I promise” you took a deep breath and smiled but you could see the uncertainty in his eyes. To reassure him you took a step closer and wrapped your arms around him, it took everything in him to keep his hands to himself afraid he would scare you off.

“Hold me” he looked you in your eyes and without saying a word you slowly felt his hands grab onto your waist.

“See? We’re ok” you smiled as he furrowed his brows.

“It wont ever happen again, I promise you that” he meant what he said and you trusted his word but in all reality, how could he be so sure? Not saying what you were thinking you nodded and lay your head on his chest as he held you silently against him..

#pedro pascal #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x ofc #joel miller x reader #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #the last of us

[ace-sher-bi-john]

While I absolutely love both BBC Sherlock and Sherlock & Co, Sherlock & Co definitely depicts a more healthy relationship between Sherlock and John.

For starters, on BBC Sherlock, Sherlock and John are both co-dependent on each other. John was implied to be suicidal before he met Sherlock. Sherlock relapses without John by his side. Even with Mary to substitute the void in his heart and help him find purpose again, John would never move on from Sherlock. If anything happened to John, it wouldn't end well for anyone, especially Sherlock.

On Sherlock & Co, one of John's only problems after returning home from Ukraine was that he couldn't afford a flat on his own. He seemed to be very excited about life, going on dates, couldn't wait to start his podcast. He was genuinely happy to see Mike.

Sherlock could easily manage on his own without John. He doesn't need to be reminded to eat, he doesn't need an assistant for cases, he doesn't need someone to take care of him. His only problem is that he needs a flatmate.

Although John and Sherlock both need each other to afford rent, they don't need each other for anything else. They want each other's company, they don't need it. They aren't two halves of a whole, they are two wholes coming together. That's how it should be with all healthy relationships, platonic, romantic, queerplatonic, or otherwise.

It also helps a lot that Sherlock isn't a complete jerk on Sherlock & Co. He genuinely treats John and everyone else with a kindness that while I believe BBC Sherlock is capable of it, he rarely showed it. When John's PTSD is triggered, Sherlock asks John if he'd rather sit out that case. He then asks John if he wants to hold hands and discuss his feelings. In part one of the Blue Carbuncle, Sherlock complimented, actually complimented John. That kind of scene just never happened on BBC Sherlock. John was doing his "That was fantastic! You're amazing!" and Sherlock said, "You flatter me, Watson. But you did awesome too! You should have seen the way you did that! It was brilliant!"

John seems like a much more well rounded happy person in general. Just listen to any of his viewer discretion warnings. "Greetings you handsome devil! This episode will contain a bit of the old swearing, a bit of violence, some drug use. Oh and a bit of duck poo!" I hate to make this comparison, due to how much it will sound like an insult. But he acts like the quirky Disney Princess personality that every Disney Princess from the 2010s has and I mean that in the best possible way. It's my favorite thing about him. He's so adorable.

In the Blue Carbuncle, John has a moment similar to ones that you've seen many times before on BBC Sherlock. John has plans that mean he won't be able to help with the case. He is going to Berlin to spend Christmas with his old army friends. It's going to be his first boys' trip in years. But then he gets so sucked into the case that he's almost late for his plane and decides to just stay with Sherlock anyway because the case is just so fascinating he can't leave. On BBC Sherlock, John has abandoned his plans, his job, his girlfriends, for a case because he couldn't stand to be without Sherlock for so long. Also because Sherlock would often crash is dates, ruin his relationships, just so that John could assist him on cases. On Sherlock & Co, Sherlock was happy for John that he was going out with friends, even though it would mean spending the holidays alone. And Sherlock LOVES Christmas, so it's sad to think that he would have to spend it alone.

Where BBC Sherlock would manipulate or guilt John into staying, Sherlock & Co Sherlock let John go and was genuinely fine with going it alone for a week or two, even if it meant being all alone on Christmas.

I love BBC Sherlock, toxic co-dependent relationships and all, and I always will. But Sherlock & Co gives a little something different and I am happy that my boys are happier.

SH: *laughing* What's so funny Watson? JW: *laughing* It's just hearing you say "bell end" SH: Lovely and jubbly

#sherlock & co #bbc sherlock #i genuinely love both #this isn't me complaining #this is just something i love about sherlock & co #as much as i hate co-dependent relationships and how toxic they are #i love bbc sherlock's johnlock portrayed as one in fanfics #but sherlock & co's johnlock is already so healthy and non-toxic #i love it almost a little bit more #sherlock holmes #john watson #johnlock

[darkjimxn]

Chapter 3: Stalker [M]

Summary: “A manwhore and a junkie… it’s a match made in heaven.”

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: High School au, angst

Word Count: 7.4k

Warnings: 18+, substance use disorder/drug addiction, PTSD, child abuse, sexual content (not explicit), additional warnings might be added as story progresses.

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update, my motivation has just been so bad because of uni. And now with exams coming up, I can't really promise anything, but after my exams are over I'll definitely be more active!

“God, I want you to absolutely wreck me.”

The bedroom suddenly quieted, its dim lighting beginning to wrap around the walls and furniture of the room to form an uncomfortably suffocating atmosphere. Or maybe Jimin was just projecting his own deteriorating feelings onto the innocent space. He was well aware that his mind shouldn’t have latched onto the words of the innocent woman he currently had pinned to his bed, shouldn’t have started picturing her wishes in his head, yet he couldn’t stop it. He’s never been able to stop it. But that didn’t stop him from trying every time. 

The more he envisioned the actions, the more he could feel those familiar ghostly hands crawl up his spine. His mind grasped at something, anything else to focus on. 

In his desperation, his unsteady gaze dropped to the girl beneath him. She was the epitome of conventionally attractive, with long, light brown hair sprawled around his mattress and dainty facial features. Modelling agencies would probably die for this girl if she gave them a chance. 

But at the moment she was just a distraction. Or at least she had been, until she had opened her mouth. 

The logical part of him tried to remind himself that her words were just that: words. She was just a horny girl expressing her preferences. It made sense, considering what they were about to do. And if anything, Jimin appreciated it when women told him what they wanted. It made his life a lot easier. 

But those particular wishes churned uneasily in his stomach as he felt the hands continue to travel up his spine, finding a cosy spot on his neck. His heartbeat, which had been racing for an entirely different reason, now thumped painfully in his chest as it quickened in pace. 

This can’t be happening right now, he thought with a mixture of frustration and desperation. 

Jimin pushed the impending, but familiar, feeling aside, choosing instead to focus on Emily.

That had clearly been a mistake.

“Like, tie me down. Choke me. Use me like a freaking slut. I swear I haven’t been railed in weeks,” she continued while running her fingers through his hair, completely oblivious to Jimin’s deteriorating state.

The feelings he had shoved aside pounded against his poorly constructed dam, fueled by the implications of Emily’s words. He could feel the ghostly hands press harder against his neck, labouring his breathing in the process. It was a telltale sign of the panic that had become so familiar to him. He knew now that there was no escaping this episode, no matter how hard he tried to steady his breathing and calm his nerves. 

What he needed to do was get out of here. 

“Those are a lot of demands to cover in one morning,” he said with a forced chuckle, hoping his voice wasn’t as shaky as he felt, “give me a minute, I’ll be right back.”

Before Emily could protest, Jimin slipped off the bed and half stumbled into his bathroom, just barely managing to lock the door.

And just like that, the dam broke. 

Jimin collapsed onto the tiled floor, desperately trying to get some air into his lungs as memories started to flood his mind. They flashed before him like a montage, nightmare after nightmare stealing his ability to breath. At first, he was back in his childhood home, watching his father push his mother down a flight of stairs while screaming at her like a madman. Jimin could feel his heart racing in his chest as he wondered if she was dead. 

But before he could run to her, his memories moved onto the day his father found out his wife had left. Jimin hadn’t even registered the fact that he’d never see his mother again before his father was on him, shouting at him while his hands enclosed around his neck harder. 

Then he was in his old bedroom, watching the bat in his hands crash into his father’s head as he heard a feminine scream. There was blood everywhere, in the room, on his hands. He tried to wipe it off frantically as it burned his skin, but it didn’t matter. The more he wiped off, the more it spread up his arms. 

All he could do was sit helplessly on the floor of the bathroom, head between his knees, as he shook uncontrollably and gasped for air. But the air wouldn’t come. It was like the ghostly hands had finally succeeded in crushing his windpipe and he could no longer fill his lungs. 

Jimin lurched forward suddenly, feeling his heart hammer painfully in his chest. He swore this time was different. 

He swore this time he was going to die. 

His hand slapped desperately against the counter before it made contact with smooth metal. Relieved, his fingers wrapped around it, pulling it upwards until he could hear the faint sounds of water rushing out of the faucet. He tried to aim his attention to the sound of the water spewing out of the tap, listening intently to the way it sputtered out of the circular piece of metal. Then he focused on the water splashing against the smooth marble sink, running against it momentarily before it was swallowed up by the drain. He could hear the water crash against the pipes under his sink as they whisked the water away. 

It took him what felt like hours to really focus on the sound, letting it sooth him as much as it could. Jimin imagined his memories and panic seeping down the drain alongside it, the black plastic pipes guiding them far away from himself and his house. His breathing started getting a little easier with every passing moment as the memories of his father began to seep back into the locked portion of his mind. 

With small pockets of air now able to enter his lungs, Jimin managed to bring his hand down to the floor. He dragged two of his fingers against it in circles, focusing on the cold of the tile seeping into his fingertips and the rough line of grout between them. He inhaled as his finger met one half of the circle, stalling there for a moment, before exhaling as he completed the round. 

When Jimin finally felt himself calm, only the remnants of a few mild tremors left, he let his back drop against the glass side of his walk-in shower with a sigh. A lingering soreness was spreading throughout his chest as he felt his sweat-soaked shirt stick to his back. Although he was more than familiar with episodes like these, he couldn’t help but wonder why this one had been so particularly bad. 

Either way, the “attack” had left him exhausted, to the point that Jimin almost considered skipping school today. It was especially tempting, considering how much Taehyung had been bothering him recently about the therapy and whether it was working. Jimin had to remind him that he had only gone to one session, though he didn’t mention just how much he had hated it. 

But Jimin knew that there were a few concepts he needed to clarify in his first class, so ditching school was out of the question. 

Not to mention, Jimin’s second period had gotten a lot more interesting when the school had decided to transfer him to a different class because of a few scheduling issues. Particularly your presence had intrigued him, because he was so confused as to how he’d never noticed you before. Sure, Jimin had only been attending this school for the past two years, but he still found it hard to believe that the two of you had never crossed paths. He’d have definitely remembered if that were the case. You were, without a doubt, the most attractive woman he’d ever met, there was no way he would have overlooked a face like that.

Jimin stretched forward, just barely managing to close the faucet without having to get up from his position on the floor. You were fun to tease, and definitely something during sex. Jimin didn’t think he’d ever enjoyed sex as much as he had with you. 

His gaze dropped as he remembered the bottle that had been clutched in your hand that night at Taehyung’s house. It had been a shock to him that you were using, even though technically he was well aware he didn’t know you at all. He wondered if your addiction stopped at Adderall, or did you do more than just that? He hoped you didn’t, for your sake. 

Jimin had wanted to say something about it when he had dropped you off, encourage you to choose a different path for yourself. But he couldn’t seem to find the right words. He had used them all up when his father was still alive, none of which were successful of course. So instead he had walked away, guilt nibbling away at him with every step. 

“Jimin?”

Jimin’s head snapped towards the door as Emily’s muffled voice passed through it. He had practically forgotten that she was still there, too wrapped up in his panic and then his thoughts to remember that she’d probably been waiting for him to come back to his bed. He knew he couldn’t do it. She clearly wanted things that he just couldn’t give her. The prospect of having to explain some lousy excuse to her suddenly made him exhausted all over again. 

But thankfully Emily spoke up again before he could reply, “look, my first class starts soon and I can’t miss it. I guess we’ll have to do this another time.” 

He could hear the disappointment in her tone before he listened to the sound of her footsteps as she walked out of his bedroom, followed by the sound of his front door shutting quickly. When he was sure she was gone, he stood from his spot and made his way to his bedroom, picking up his phone to confirm the time. Emily wasn’t wrong, his first class was starting soon. He would have to get going as well. 

Jimin walked back to his bathroom, standing in front of the mirror above the sink. His gaze scanned the damp, rust-coloured hair sticking to his forehead, and then the beads of sweat travelling down his neck. He grimaced. First, he needed a shower.

-

-

-

Jiwoo was in a mood. 

You had begun to suspect as much at the end of your first class, when she had kicked your bag while stomping out of the classroom. Although Jiwoo was always pulling stunts like that, she’d usually accompany it with an irritating taunt or mocking expression. But it wasn’t until right before second period, when she had purposely bumped into the open pencil case on your desk to scatter it all over the floor, when you became certain.

Jiwoo was in a mood. 

You watched her drop into her seat near the front of the class with an angry huff, uncharacteristically not even bothering to spare you a fake “oops.” Normal Jiwoo was far from a saint, but god did annoyed Jiwoo unlock a different type of rage in you. Her irritation made you wonder how her parents’ divorce was going. Probably not great, if her mood today was anything to go on. 

With an annoyed sigh, you slipped off your chair and lowered yourself to the floor to focus on collecting your things, trying to calm your raging heartbeat and shaking hands in the process. You weren’t sure whether it was because of Jiwoo or the Ritalin. This was your third day on Ritalin even though you had vowed to never take the stuff again. You didn’t really have much of a choice. There was still no news on Yoongi, which meant you were still out of Adderall. And although Ritalin made you crazy with nerves, it still somehow managed to help you focus on your schoolwork. Not to mention you’d much rather be a jittery mess than the dead zombie that your Adderall crash had reduced you to.

Unfortunately, until you could get your hands on some Adderall, Ritalin was your only option. 

You shoved the last of your supplies into your pencil case, brows furrowing when you noticed that you were missing your eraser. But one scan of the floor showed no sign of the white rubber. 

You checked under your desk and then your chair, wondering where it could have disappeared to.

It wasn’t until a pair of black dress shoes and grey dress pants appeared in your line of sight when you realised where your eraser had gone. 

“Looking for something?” Jimin asked in a teasing tone, holding out your white eraser between the tips of his index and middle fingers. 

Your gaze reluctantly travelled up to his smug face, the feeling of annoyance a natural response to his presence at this point. 

“Stealing my car wasn’t enough? Now you want my eraser too?”

Jimin’s head tilted for a moment before he rested a hand on your desk and leaned forward so that his next words could only be heard by you. 

“Why would I want anything more when I’ve already got you on your knees for me, kitten?”

You rolled your eyes, ignoring the tempting view of his sharp jawline, before grabbing your pencil case and pushing yourself off of the ground. Leave it to Jimin to turn every instance into an opportunity to flirt. 

“Weren’t you the one that said I had to ask for sex the next time I wanted it? What happened to that?” You asked with a low voice before taking back your eraser. 

“I never said I couldn’t be tempting.”

Then, to your surprise, Jimin dropped into the empty desk beside yours instead of his usual seat behind you. It took you a second to register the sudden change, and then another to eye him weirdly. 

But before you could ask him what he was doing, Mr. Kim walked into the classroom just as the bell rang. The students rushed to their seats to bring out their textbooks, some of the girls swooning over the alleged new shirt he was wearing. You took your seat quickly, sending Jimin a glare in the process. 

Taehyung hurried into the room just after Mr. Kim, slipping unnoticeably past him before dropping into his usual seat. His eyebrows furrowed for a moment when he noticed Jimin wasn’t sitting next to him, and then they furrowed even further when he realised where he was actually sitting. 

“Come on man, what happened to bros before hoes?” He muttered under his breath. You almost laughed at his sulky expression.

Mr. Kim began writing the lesson on the whiteboard, “please turn to page 245.”

You turned to the page alongside the rest of the class as Jimin did the same, distantly noticing your leg bouncing up and down unconsciously. 

Mr. Kim turned back to the class, beginning the lesson by explaining the concepts on the page he had instructed everyone to turn to. He was one of the better teachers, so you were easily able to understand the seemingly complex concepts.  

That was until Jimin started annoying you, just like he had been doing in class for the past few days. It was always small things, like sneakily drawing random doodles in your notebook when you weren’t looking or stealing your pencil every so often. It took everything in you not to throw your eraser at his face. Instead, you dragged your notebook and supplies to the other side of your desk with a huff.

That just made him laugh, one he had to muffle with his hands so Mr. Kim didn’t call him out. 

The class went on like this, a mixture of evading Jimin’s antics while simultaneously trying to understand the lesson being taught by Mr. Kim. You honestly had to applaud the guy for being able to escape Mr. Kim’s gaze for so long. He was notoriously known for being an observant teacher, and because of that you were sure he knew a lot more student secrets than he let on. 

However, Jimin’s antics had to come to an abrupt end when Mr. Kim placed his whiteboard marker down and faced the class, seemingly finished with teaching the lesson. He called up two students, handing them both stacks of papers to hand out to the rest of the class. 

“Your next assignment will consist of a presentation closely resembling a seminar, where each group will be expected to accurately teach the class on an assigned topic,” he explained, characteristically professional and thoughtful with his words, “since the goal of this assignment will be to facilitate understanding, I will be expecting the incorporation of some creative elements in order to keep the presentation engaging in addition to being informative.”

One of the students that had been handing out the mini booklets finally reached you and Jimin, handing the two of you one each before moving onto Taehyung. 

“The booklets in front of you go over the details pertaining to this assignment. Therefore, I expect you all to read through them thoroughly to avoid losing marks over small mistakes.”

Mr. Kim suddenly smiled, “although, with this being your senior year I doubt you all require such a reminder anyway.”

You watched Jiwoo’s hand shoot into the air as you tried to keep Jimin’s hands off your booklet. Mr. Kim nodded towards her before she spoke, “will we get to choose our own groups?”

“No, I will be assigning the groups, as well as the topics,” he replied, earning him a number of whines and groans. But Mr. Kim merely chuckled, amused, but not willing to change his mind. 

He then turned to the first row of students, grouping them in pairs based on their seating. You groaned inwardly when you realised the pattern he was going by and who, in that case, would end up being your partner. 

“Jimin and Y/N,” Mr. Kim grouped, but then paused when he noticed Taehyung sitting without the deskmate, “and Taehyung.”

“Mr. Kim,” Jiwoo said once again, but this time you rolled your eyes knowing what she was going to bring up, “isn’t it unfair that one group has three students? That will lessen their workload compared to everyone else!”

You noticed Jiwoo send you a mocking smile for a moment, clearly trying to incite you.

Witch. 

“You may rest assured, Ms. Kim. I will ensure everything is as fair as possible,” he reassured with a small smile. But Jiwoo just slid down in her seat, annoyed that her plan to make your life harder had pretty much failed. 

You wished she turned around so you could send her your fakest smile. On one hand was Jiwoo, the most annoying witch in existence, and then on another hand was Jimin, the most annoying jerk in existence. 

What has your life come to?

When the bell finally rang and Mr. Kim dismissed the class, you crumpled one of your rough pieces of paper and threw it at Jimin’s face with a glare. 

It wasn’t much, but boy did it make you feel better. 

“What was that for?” He asked, failing miserably at stifling a laugh. 

“You know what.”

Ignoring Jimin’s amused glance, you packed your bag as your classmates began to chat with each other and started making their way to the cafeteria. You wouldn’t be heading there, though, since you usually spent your breaks in the library studying. It just felt better to get all your work out of the way so you could go home and just sleep for hours. 

You walked out of the classroom, thankful that you could finally get away from the annoying thing known as Park Jimin, and then began walking to the library. The hallways were full of students relaxing and playing around with each other, making you think of Namjoon. He was away on some trip for a maths competition. Or maybe it was for a science competition? Either way, he was off doing his nerd stuff, so you couldn’t invite him to hang out after you finished studying. 

You made it to the library’s front desk, sending a smile to the main librarian who returned it sweetly. 

“Hello, have the study room schedules been made yet?” You asked. 

She answered your question with a nod and, after giving her your name, she began searching the computer for your schedule.  

Since the demand for the very limited number of study rooms in the library was so high, the school had decided to come up with a schedule system for the students that wished to use them, because a first come, first serve approach would be much too “barbaric” for a private school of course. Each student was given a schedule for which study room they were assigned to and when they could use it. 

“Hi, can I get my study schedule please?” A voice asked, “my name is Park Jimin.”

Your gaze snapped to your side, finding Jimin standing right next to you. 

Seriously?

“So you’ve resorted to stalking me now?” You asked, causing Jimin to turn to you with a surprised expression. 

When his gaze fell on you, he grinned. 

“How come I’m the stalker? You could very well be the one stalking me,” he said. 

Before you could reply, the librarian walked back to her desk and handed you and Jimin your printed schedules. The two of you thanked her before walking over to the library’s elevator while looking them over. 

Thankfully, you were scheduled for a study room on Wednesdays during break, so you didn’t have to find somewhere else to study at the moment. 

You eyed Jimin when he followed you into the elevator, watching as he pressed the button to the floor you were also going to. The two of you seemed to be finding yourselves in each other’s presence a lot lately. It made you groan inwardly, knowing that the semester had only just begun.

It was like having a second Jiwoo since you and her were usually thrown together a lot due to your familial ties, but at least Jimin didn’t kick your bag or slap your pencil case to the ground. That earned him at least a few more points in your book.

The book’s name? “The Most Annoying People in Kim Y/N’s Life,” of course.

The elevator door dinged as it revealed the hallway of the second floor. Jimin walked out of it first, unfortunately taking a right into the hallway, which was the same way you were going. 

You followed him reluctantly.

“Who’s following who now, kitten?” He said with a smirk, an eyebrow raised at you. 

You simply huffed, “shut up.”

You didn’t bother to come up with a better comeback. All you had to do was make it to your study room, then you could finally get rid of him. This day had been filled with way too much Jimin, and you were actually looking forward to doing homework in a nice and quiet room over having to deal with his annoying butt. 

Jimin continued through the hallway until he stopped in front of the door to the farthest study room from the elevator. The action made your eyes widen.

“No,” you denied immediately, stomping over to him before grabbing his schedule from his hand, “no way. There’s no way.”

Your mouth fell open as you took in his schedule, almost exactly identical to your own. The only day in which your and Jimin’s schedules didn’t align was Monday. Only one out of the five days of school in a week would you be free of him. No way. There was no way this was possible. Of all the insane things…

While you were distracted, a confused Jimin took your own schedule from your hands, looking over it curiously. It only took him a second to figure out what your issue was, but when he did, he couldn’t help himself. 

Jimin burst into a fit of laughter. 

“Stop laughing, this isn’t funny,” you whined, smacking the paper against his head. That only made him laugh harder as he fell to the floor with a hand clutching his stomach. 

“Guess we’re stuck with each other now,” Jimin managed through his laughter. 

You rolled your eyes, choosing instead to walk past him into the room. Fine, if you were going to be stuck with him, then you were just going to have to ignore his presence completely. It was the only ray of hope in your seemingly continuous misery. 

You dropped into a seat at the large table, spreading your work out as you opened your laptop and began typing furiously against the innocent keys. 

After a few minutes Jimin walked into the room, closing it behind him before he thankfully dropped into a chair away from yours and brought out his own work. You risked a glance upwards, catching a smirk on his lips that made your blood boil. 

Your eyes stayed glued to your screen after that. 

You expected him to annoy you the same way he had during your second period class by stealing your pencils or throwing a paper plane at you, but instead he remained focused on his work for a full half an hour straight. That came as a surprise to you because you honestly hadn’t been expecting him to be very studious. Maybe it was because he had annoyed you during class. Or maybe it was because you had unintentionally believed in the stereotype against guys that slept around. Either way, it was surprising when you managed to get through half an hour worth of work without any disturbances. 

After half an hour, though, Jimin sighed, leaning back in his chair as he stretched his arms behind him. He’d taken off his blazer, so you could see the defined lines of his muscles stretch under his dress shirt. Your straying gaze quickly shot back to your screen, but not before Jimin had noticed your curious eyes. He smirked. 

You were able to work for a few more minutes before Jimin suddenly leaned forward, eyeing you curiously. 

“So,” he said, causing you to turn your head towards him questionably, “how did your dad end up reacting?”

 You furrowed your eyebrows, “what?”

“After the party, when you came home after midnight. I’m surprised he wasn’t already standing on the porch with a shotgun ready.”

You snorted, unable to imagine your dad doing that, “my dad’s not like that.”

“Oh, so he was cool with it and everything?” He asked. 

You shifted in your seat, “no… I mean, I don’t know. He wasn’t home that night.”

Jimin nodded, “business trip?”

“Kind of. He’s a truck driver,” you explained, a little weirded out by the suddenly normal conversation but still appreciating the unexpected break from your work, “he’s usually only home on weekends. Otherwise he’s out driving across the country.”

Jimin’s eyes widened, “so he leaves you alone during the entire week? And sometimes he doesn’t even come back on the weekends?”

You shrugged, finding it odd how surprised Jimin looked, “yeah? I’m not a kid, it’s not that big of a deal.”

Jimin’s gaze dropped to the table in front of him, seemingly deep in thought. But you noticed a slight scowl in his features. 

Weird. 

You shifted to face Jimin, a question coming to mind, “but why are you only asking about my dad?”

Jimin didn’t look up from the table, “I heard what that girl said about your mom last Friday… I just kind of assumed…”

The room quieted into what felt like an awkward silence. You had the feeling that something you said had cut the surprisingly normal conversation short, but there was nothing you said that could have offended him so you didn’t really understand why that was. 

You turned back to your work, brushing against the touchpad to light up your laptop’s screen once again. After sending one final curious glance at Jimin, you went back to your work. 

But Jimin was clearly lost in thought. 

-

-

-

The first thing Jimin noticed when he walked into the room was Lauren, who was sitting on one of the beige sofas situated next to the glass coffee table. She had been looking down at the binder she had shown him in their last session, reading over something intently before the sound of the door opening had her looking upwards and then smiling. 

“Hello Jimin,” she greeted, to which he gave her a curt nod. 

Thankfully, Lauren had already situated herself on the sofa facing away from the door, allowing Jimin to sit on the one that gave him a view of both the entrance and the window at the same time. Even in his sour mood, he was able to appreciate the gesture. 

He knew Lauren was studying him, taking in his sudden attitude, but to his surprise she didn’t call him out on it. Instead, she closed the binder and placed it beside her on the sofa, bringing a much thinner notebook onto her lap in its place.

“Did you complete the Impact Statement worksheet I assigned in the last session?” She asked, to which Jimin nodded. 

He had avoided starting it until the last minute, something he knew Lauren wouldn’t approve of considering she had given him that big speech about avoidance and how it wasn’t helping him. He just couldn’t help it, he’d spent years trying to rid his mind of that night’s memories. Anything that reminded him of it was discarded, any person that reminded him of it was avoided. Even the house had been sold the second it was passed down to him. So doing this Impact Statement? Something that would not only remind him about it, but make him think about it to a deeper extent… it had been hard. 

“Could you read your Impact Statement out loud?”

Jimin’s eyebrows pulled together at the random request, confused as to why that was necessary. He wasn’t in kindergarten anymore, where they would make his class take turns reading various children’s books to each other. 

He shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable with the request. But he couldn’t make a fuss about it. He needed to give this therapy thing a genuine try, especially considering the enormous attack he had this morning. 

Jimin brought out the statement from his school bag, unfolding it slowly. He cleared his throat before finally following along the hastily written words. 

“This traumatic experience happened because I was stupid and did something horrible. I knew that my father wasn’t himself, I knew that he was under the influence, and yet I still ended up murdering him, my own father, like some kind of psychopath. Saying that that makes me a horrible person feels like an understatement, because being a killer is one thing, but being able to kill your family? That must make me even worse than a murderer. I feel like I don’t deserve anything good because of it. If anything, the world should bring me my karma and just end it already. I think that sometimes… that because of what I did, someone is just silently watching me and waiting for the right moment to get back at me. I feel like I’m never safe, like I constantly have to be on guard whenever I’m out. I feel like people should think the same about me too, they shouldn’t trust me either. My past is evidence enough that I might just lose it and hurt someone. I would hate to do that to Taehyung especially, the only person that’s genuinely been there for me. But anyways, the gist of it is that I’m not a good person. I make bad decisions. I feel unsafe all the time, especially when I’m around other men. Sometimes when I’m out I can imagine every grown man that looks my way hates me the same way my dad did, and that they’d go after me the first chance they got. I don’t want to get close to people because I feel like if I build any kind of genuine relationship, I’ll end up hurting them. That’s why I don’t think Taehyung should have a friend like me, that he deserves better. I don’t know how to make things better. I don’t think I’ll ever be normal again.”

The room fell quiet as Jimin set the paper down on the coffee table, wanting it away from him immediately. He was relieved that he was finally done with this assignment, though he hadn’t noticed how much he had ended up writing despite the limited amount of time he had to complete the worksheet. 

“What did it feel like to write and then read the Impact Statement aloud?” Lauren asked, an expression of complete neutrality. He couldn’t help but feel grateful that she wasn’t disgusted by him. 

Or at least she wasn’t showing it. 

“It was hard,” Jimin admitted, gaze travelling everywhere but her, “honestly I didn’t start the worksheet until just an hour before I came here.”

Lauren surprisingly nodded, “the good thing is that you completed it nonetheless. It is difficult work, Jimin, and you were able to get through it. That takes a lot of strength.”

“But I should remind you that avoidance only helps in maintaining PTSD symptoms, right?”

Jimin nodded. 

“How do you feel after reading the Impact Statement?” She asked. 

“A little less anxious,” Jimin replied, though it was more the fact that he was relieved it was over than anything else. Whether his improved feelings were because the Impact Statement had actually helped or because of the relief he felt from it being over, there was no doubt that he felt better now compared to the anxiety he had been feeling when walking into this room. 

“If doing the assignment in this way made you a little less anxious, then I wonder what it would have been like to have completed the assignment earlier in the week?” Lauren wondered out loud, but she didn’t dwell on it for long. She was clearly keen on changing the topic. 

“Now, earlier it seemed that you might have been upset about something. Could you explain to me why that was?”

“It’s nothing,” Jimin said, shaking his head as he leaned back against the sofa. But he could feel his blood begin to boil once again, his thoughts from earlier apparently the flame. His anger simmered to the surface and, before he knew it, he was blurting everything out. 

“It’s just… I was talking to this classmate of mine earlier today, just a normal conversation, and she told me something about her dad that kind of pissed me off.”

Lauren tilted her head, “can you tell me what she told you that made you so angry?”

Your words from earlier filled his mind once again, bringing the anger along with them. He had been furious throughout the rest of the school day, and all throughout the ride here, with your words and their implications repeating over and over in his head.

Jimin suddenly stood up and walked over to the window, his anger making him want to move around. 

“The thing is, she’s actually this girl I hooked up with at a party last Friday,” he started to explain, not realising that he had begun pacing around, “I’d ended up taking her home that night because she didn’t really seem like she could get there on her own, so I just casually asked her about how her dad had reacted to her getting home so late. She started telling me about how her dad hadn’t been home that night because he’s a truck driver. In fact, she said that he usually wasn’t home at all throughout the week, and sometimes he didn’t even come back on the weekends that he’s supposed to.”

Jimin spun around towards Lauren, who had shifted so that she was still facing him, “can you believe that? What kind of father would leave their kid alone for weeks at a time? And does he even know what his own daughter has been doing in his absence? She uses, you know. I bet he has no clue.”

“But of course he doesn’t,” Jimin scoffed, “just one of the millions of examples of a grown man being absolutely useless and incompetent as a father.”

He turned to look outside once again, trying to focus on anything that could calm down his racing heart. 

“Do you feel that way about your own father?” He heard Lauren ask from behind him. 

“Obviously. He beat my mom, and then he beat me. That didn’t exactly make him father slash husband of the year. Nothing could justify his actions,” Jimin reasoned. 

“Do you feel that your actions that night also can’t be justified?”

He paused, the question catching him off guard. Slowly, Jimin faced Lauren once again, “well yes, I’m not different from him. If anything I’m worse. He beat people. I murdered him.”

Lauren’s gaze bored into him in an almost unnerving way before she spoke, “‘murder.’ That’s a strong word.”

“It’s appropriate in this context.” 

“From what you’ve told me, it seems like you killed your father after he had begun to hurt your girlfriend-”

“Ex,” Jimin said, his gaze not meeting hers, “ex girlfriend.”

“Ex girlfriend,” Lauren corrected, “your actions occurred in a very specific place and time, and under certain circumstances.”

“Yeah, but he still died. And I’m the one that killed him.”

“Yes, he died, and it seems, at least in part, because of your actions. Does that make you a murderer?”

“Yes,” Jimin answered straight away, not comprehending what was so hard to understand, “I took a bat to his head, and then he died. That’s murder. And that’s worse than anything he had ever done to me.”

“Really? You think it’s worse?” Lauren asked, her voice suddenly quieter. For the first time since these sessions started, Jimin thought he might have caught a little sadness in her expression. But the moment he caught it the expression disappeared, tucked back under that blanket of neutrality that he had become so used to. Distantly, he wondered if he had imagined it or not. 

“On one hand, people were hurt. On the other hand, someone was killed. Obviously both situations aren’t good since people were hurt either way. But I killed him, he didn’t kill anyone.”

“It is true that the outcomes are different,” Lauren agreed, “but it’s the context that I wonder about.”

Jimin’s brows furrowed, “what do you mean?”

“Do you think what the intention was in those situations matters, regardless of the outcome?”

“No,” Jimin replied firmly, pulling back on the frustration in his tone,“in one case someone was killed. In another, no one was killed.”

Lauren paused for a moment, seemingly studying him with her characteristically neutral expression. When nothing was said for a few seconds, she clasped her fingers together before resting them over her lap professionally, “while it is true that your father died, and that your actions played a role in it, I think we might slightly disagree on the definition of the term ‘murder.’ It is apparent that his death has been a very difficult thing for you to accept, and that you are trying to make sense of that. From what you’ve told me, the sense that you appear to have made of his death is that you are a ‘murderer.’ I believe this is a good example of one of the stuck points that seem to have prevented you from recovering from this traumatic event. We’ll definitely be spending more time together on understanding your part in his death.”

Lauren then began to explain something about how important it was to be able to identify and label his emotions and thoughts, but Jimin’s thoughts were too stuck on her earlier words to pay any attention. He wondered about how intentions might or might not matter in the context of whether a death is considered a murder or not. When a person participates in an action that ends up with another person dead, he was pretty sure that classified the situation as a murder. He couldn’t really understand where the nuances existed in a situation like this. 

But then again, Lauren’s suggestion hadn’t been too crazy of a thought either. If a person didn’t intend to kill the other, then would it still be considered a murder?

Had he intended to kill his father that night? Jimin wanted to say no and deny such a thing, because he really hadn’t wanted to do that. But he had taken a wooden baseball bat straight to his father’s skull, what other outcome had Jimin been expecting? Maybe intention did matter in general, but in Jimin’s case he concluded it made no difference. 

“How do you feel about the death of your father?” Lauren asked randomly, catching Jimin’s straying attention. He had no clue what the context behind the question was since his thoughts had been elsewhere while she had been explaining it, which had caught him off guard.

“Um,” Jimin paused, having to think about it for a moment, “I know he did horrible things to me, like I’m aware his actions were wrong, but… a part of me felt a little saddened by his death. Maybe not because of losing him as a person, but losing him meant that I had lost the last of my family. It does make me feel sad when I think about it.”

Lauren nodded encouragingly, “and that is a completely natural reaction to have when you feel that you’ve lost something. It’s good to feel that sadness and let it run its course.”

Jimin let a breathy chuckle escape his lips, though there was no humour behind it, “feeling sad isn’t exactly something I enjoy- actually I prefer to avoid feeling anything at all. It’s just easier that way.”

Lauren crossed her leg over the other, continuing to focus on Jimin as she brought her clasped hand over her lap once again, “have you ever allowed yourself to feel sad?”

He shook his head, explaining that he’s always preferred avoiding anything and everything that had to do with intense feelings like that. Even the frustration he had shown earlier was a generally rare occurrence. 

“Then if you’ve never allowed yourself to feel your emotions, how do you know that it would be easier not to feel them?”

Jimin was silent, processing the logic behind her words once again. He was starting to realise that therapy was a lot more logical than what he had initially thought.

“From what you’ve told me, avoiding your feelings hasn’t helped you very much so far. Maybe allowing yourself to feel the natural feelings associated with the traumatic event may help you recover from what happened?”

“Maybe…” He relented, knowing that her reasoning made sense to him. 

But Jimin still couldn’t help but feel anxious at the thought of feeling his emotions. He didn’t even know if he’d ever truly felt them before. With a father that had been beating him for as long as he could remember, it really had just become easier to numb himself to the pain. He was scared of revisiting that pain, he realised. The pain that he’d been trying to run away from his whole life.

Lauren opened her binder to bring out a few sheets that were similar to the Impact Statement worksheet she had given him in their last session, except they clearly had a different purpose. She called them “A-B-C” Sheets, which again reminded Jimin of kindergarten, and explained how to go about completing them properly. She also explained how they were meant to help him begin to identify the things he was telling himself and his subsequent emotions before they had exchanged pleasantries and Jimin had walked out of the room.

Unlike the last session, where he had rushed through the door at light speed, Jimin took his time walking through the hallways and out of the building. This time his mind was filled with questions of murder and intention. He thought about feeling his feelings, and how long it had been since he had lost the ability to do so. He thought about you and your dad. He thought about everything.  

There was just so much to think about. 

So much to think about indeed.  

#jimin high school au #jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #bts x reader #jimin fic #bts au fic #bts au #jimin #park jimin #bts jimin #jimin bts #high school student jimin #bts fic #jimin angst #jimin smut #jimin x y/n #bts series #jimin series #jin #yoongi #namjoon #hoseok #taehyung #jungkook #seokjin #suga #rm #jhope #v

[nikoisanidiot]

hi! can we have some headcannons about what a relationship with each of the proxies would be like :)

Yes ofc! Note, in my au the main "proxies" are Tim, Brian and Toby!<3

Relationship HC's With The Proxies||Proxies x Reader Headcanon's

Tim Wright -Be prepared to smell like smoke. You will smell like smoke no matter how hard you try. -Lots of Johnny Cash, John Lennon, Bon Jovi, ect. -HE HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON. DON'T TRY TO FIGHT ME ON THIS, YOU WILL NOT WIN. -Tim need's minimum two hours alone after a mission, no matter how long it was. He takes that time to recuperate away from you for your safety, in case he dissociates and Masky fronts.(In my au he has DID.) -Tim love's when you wear his clothes, it's cute to him. -Tim has a soft spot for kids, like a big soft spot. He want's one of his own one day, with you. -He prefers if you don't interact with the creeps(assuming your a civilian) to protect yourself and the others from harm. -Rant's to you about Toby, a lot. -"Hey sunshine." "Oh, of course love." Just a mushy guy. -Probably love's morning kisses. Like any chance he gets, his arms are around you giving you a kiss on the cheek. -When Tim has schizophrenic episodes, I beg of you to make sure you're there for him and to reassure him. Be yourself and try to make what he's going through as comfortable as possible and don't treat him any different unless you think he need's help. Ask to touch him, incase he might be paranoid and want to run. Comfort is key. -Tim loves cooking, homie will cook you a four course meal if you asked tbh.

Brian Thomas -He love's it when your curious -Oh you had a weird phase? He's had weirder. -Brian is your therapist tbh... -Right after a mission, be prepared to take a long, hot shower together. Also be prepared to probably watch a horror movie right after. -"Hey I know your busy right now but could we go get a bite to eat? I'm hungry." "Go by yourself, Brian. Your a big boy." "Fuck you." "Yeah yeah, get me a chicken sandwich." -Brian makes the most bizzare jokes sometimes. -Brain collects guns, when you want to hear about his collection, he gets excited and probably wont shut up about the damn things for AWHILE. -Baby, babe, honey, sweetie and love are his go to nicknames for you. He has joke nicknames for you too like dickface or asshat but only uses it when he's joking. -Brian can get pretty serious sometimes when it comes to his job so please, if he's working him, don't bug him. -Prioritises time to be with you and makes time to be with you for a few hours. -He likes squish. He likes when a person is a little chubby. Mean's Brian has more of you to hold onto. -Gets pissed off when you act like stewie and pretend he's brian the dog. Like he genuinely hates it. -Loves when you wear his hoodie, and if you ask him to wear it again, he will. -Lost of long night drives, jamming out to random music and watching the stars.

Toby Rogers -He didn't get much attention as a kid, so be expected to have a very clingy boyfriend. -Don't underestimate his strength, he's seriously a strong guy. -When you notice his hands are starting to get big sores, he will breakdown and tell you he had another nightmare of his father... So he'll ask you to bandage his hands. -Hand holding, cuddling and literally and form of physical affection. -Toby has echolalia, he repeats the phrase "I love you" a lot, but he does it with the biggest fucking smile, makes your heart MELT. -Toby dosen't have corprolalia. He just swears like a sailor. -Coming back from a mission, he goes for the booze, he drinks a lot of it to forget literally everything of the mission. AKA his tics can get a little aggressive, he punches himself, throws stuff around the room, has occasionally punched or slapped you a few times. -When Toby has a PTSD panic attack, he becomes non-verbal for a long time and just abuses himself relentlessly because he cant feel shit. He has a mental collapse for a few days, and as a result, Tim and Brian let him take a break from missions, letting Jeff fill in for Toby. -Toby needs a lot of panic attack aftercare. He usually needs to be wrapped up in his bandages and lots of cuddles, kisses and care. -"Y/N- could we-could we please cuddle? I want some care... please." -He loves nicknames like baby boy, pumpkin and Tobs. He loves calling you Babydoll, honey, and babes. -Please don't take his hoodie or face mask, sometimes his only comfort is those things when he feels he can't come to you. -Emotional guy.

#creepypasta x reader #creepypasta #creepypasta hcs #creepypasta fluff #creepypasta fandom #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby headcanons #ticci toby #tim wright #tim wright x reader #tim wright headcanons #brian thomas #brian thomas x reader #brian thomas headcanons

[aloneinthehellfire]

Chapter 23: The Aftermath

Season One | Season Two | Season Three | Season Four

Word Count: 4847 words of these kids definitely have ptsd now

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, blood, hospitals (i myself am not fond of being in one), minor violence?, some nice sweet stuff in this one since all the others have been an angst fest

[A/N: this is kind of like a filler episode we all know and love on our fav shows (or not lmao) but i really wanted to give a shot at what was happening before 'two days later'. you don't really have to read this chapter if you don't want to, but there are some important parts?]

The Aftermath

Dawn was breaking by the time you left the Upside Down, slowly casting an orange light on your silhouettes. For a moment, everyone glanced over at the rising sun.

It wasn’t until you were heading to the RV that you realised this particular sunrise wasn’t meant to be seen by your eyes, or any after that. It was a bittersweet reminder that you almost never saw a sunrise ever again. You didn’t even remember the last.

Steve drove away from the trailer park, Nancy taking care of Eddie’s wounds in the back, while Dustin and Robin shared stories of the night. Despite their efforts, there was an unease that even the attempt of comedic conversation couldn’t break.

You sat in the front, staring out of the window and wincing at the reflection of the girl with a blood-stained face staring back.

There was too much running through your mind to truly allow you to focus, only ever seeing the same images burned into your brain. The visions of the people you lost, the grave inscribed with your name. The look in Vecna’s eye when he took your life. Your blood.

“Hey.”

Steve’s foot gently nudges yours, voice lowered in attempt to keep the conversation private. Not that it was needed; Robin and Dustin’s exchange of tales were loud and excitable, the pair happy to just discuss random movies and keep Eddie awake.

“You okay?” He asks before his face drops, shaking his head and looking back to the road. “Sorry, stupid question.”

“We lost.” You say after a time, quietly. He glances over to you.

He took a moment to decide his next words, flexing his knuckles as he gripped the steering wheel tightly. “Not yet. We’ll get another chance, and we’ll win. I know it.”

“Yeah.” You try to agree, but your heart wasn’t in it.

“Look,” Steve sighs, quickly checking the mirror to ensure the others were distracted, “All I know is that we’re okay. That you’re okay.”

His voice was slightly cracked at the last three words and your whip your head to find his eyes, frowning.

“Steve-”

“No, I-” He breathes away the reddening of his eyes, focused on the road ahead in the soft yellow glow of the headlights, illuminating the paths hidden in darkness from the early morning shades of trees. “I genuinely thought I was gonna have to figure out the rest of my life without you and I never wanna do that again. I wish I could say it was the first time.”

“When have you…” You shake your head, confused.

Steve’s eyes flicker to yours, gulping. “Last year. When… the Russian base. We got separated. All I could hear were your screams. Even if I was getting beaten to a bloody pulp, those screams were the worst torture, believe me. Then- then that woman showed us a knife- your blood, and…”

A tear rolls down his cheek as he continues. “Jesus, I seriously thought that this year would be different. You left, and believe me that sucked, but you were safe. That’s what mattered.But I- I couldn’t get any of it out of my head. Then the worst finally happened just a few hours ago and I don’t even know how I’m gonna process that one.”

“You aren’t the only one.” You admit quietly and he nods.

“Yeah, of course. Right, I can’t even imagine-” His breath is shaky and you lower your head.

There was always a part of you that declared you needed to be strong, to never show weakness. It was that part that always ended up failing you, spinning you out of control until you did something you regret. But those usually extended from small lies or lack of communication. This time, it was quite literally death.

And you didn’t have the strength in you to pretend like you were okay.

“Don’t ever die again.” Steve frowns, breaking the silence, eyes filled with that painful memory. His lips were tight, glistening eyes watching as the light began to beam between the branches you pass. “Please.”

You lean over and wipe the tear from his cheek. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

“Good.” He chuckles, taking your hand and squeezing it. “Because I’m not letting you go that easy.”

That was the first time you felt like you smiled for a normal reason. The only times happiness had struck you over the course of the past few days were when you celebrated that your friends were alive. This… this felt better. Because it wasn’t a relieved smile for once. It was the joy you felt after the boy you loved told you that this was forever.

The moment was broken with a thick air of smoke clouding the road, Steve pulling the RV to a stop and frowning.

“What’s going on?” Nancy joins you at the front, peering through the windscreen.

As Steve wordlessly shakes his head, you can make out a shadow in the distance, a scarlet outline. Your eyes widen.

You were out of your seat and jumping from the door in no time, feet planting on the solid ground before taking a few steps. Your breath slipped from your lips, a clearer view of what you feared.

The Creel House was surrounded by the dark smoke but illuminated by a red light, almost like fire.

And it was no longer standing.

A huge slit broke the house in half, the beating heart of a gate staring back at you. Your gaze travels up the building, face dropping completely. The attic was incinerated.

“Do you think they got out?” Dustin asks with the smallest whisper.

Your friends had collected behind you, poking their head out of the vehicle and staring at the destruction with wide eyes.

Robin nods vigorously. “Yeah. Yeah, they- they had plenty of time.”

Your eyes flicker around, part of you hoping to find Lucas safe and sound among the rubble. Nothing.

Erica would have gone for help, you tell yourself, he’s fine, she’s fine… Max is fine.

“Maybe they’re-” Dustin hobbles down from the step in the direction of the building, until his ankle folds beneath him and he’s almost face first on the ground.

Steve catches him just in time, “Woah, no, okay. We’re getting you to the hospital. You seriously need that ankle checked out.”

“But-”

“No, he’s right.” Nancy affirms, nodding. “You’re obviously in pain, Eddie needs those bites properly treated. And Y/n-”

Nancy turns to you and for the first time tonight, took in your appearance, breath hitching. Almost your entire torso was covered in dry blood, splattered across your neck and face. Three gashes were torn into the fabric of your shirt, outlining the red scars that replaced your once fatal wounds. Bruises coated the public skin, some more brutal than others. You were, to put it simply, a mess.

“I’m fine.” You shrug, clearing your throat. “But, yeah. We, uh… we should get to the hospital.”

You ignored her worried look, turning away from the wreck and stepping back into the RV, reclaiming your seat. Steve slips back behind the wheel, taking a deep breath and relying on the headlights to guide you all safely through Hawkins.

The earlier chatter of distraction had dissipated into unsettling silence. Perhaps they were originally riding the high of their survival, but now the truth of the surface had unveiled itself and plunged them into dread.

And it only got worse.

Driving through streets of chaos, your heart drops; crumbled buildings, fires burning away memories, people cradling limbs as they’re pulled from beneath.

Crying parents held their children, police men desperately trying to assess the source of the destruction. It was soul-breaking to see the panic, residents fleeing their homes without a choice. Hawkins was once so cosy.

The aftermath of Vecna’s victory hadn’t just hurt you. It affected the entire town.

The road to the hospital was busy with cars, forcing Steve to stop in the Family Video parking lot. Luckily for you, the final destination was only around the corner.

Steve supported Eddie’s weight, the latter insisting he was fine when, especially in daylight, he clearly wasn’t. Dustin simply loops his arm around Nancy, allowing her to help him along with no complaints. From the grimace of his face, the adrenaline must have worn off and he was now feeling the pain of the drop.

Robin offered to help, only met with a few murmurs of ‘no, it’s okay’ before she gave up and shuffled up next to you, her curious eyes assessing the buildings around her.

After seeing the Creel House destroyed, your hope had gone. You knew Max was dead, that part was made very clear by the grand opening of Hawkins’ biggest gate yet. But you also knew Lucas had to have seen that, and he wouldn’t have left her side, even if the ground was swallowing them both up. It hurt.

Lucas had a natural charisma about him when you first met. It was late, your first night in Hawkins, and the house beside you was lively, bundles of excited chatter and exclamations spewing from the tiny window of the basement and echoing straight to your window. It wasn’t until you took a step out of the house for some fresh air that you met the kids; Will’s shy smile, Mike’s under-eager wave, and Dustin’s wide grin. Lucas was the first one to talk to you, a warm welcome to the town.

Ever since then, you’ve seen him grow from that 12 year old boy into someone you wished you could be. You’ve dealt with his unrealistically optimistic flirts, his arguments with the other boys, his small and quiet conversations about wanting to play basketball like the older kids did but scared he would upset the Party. And he dealt with your sarcasm, your denial of emotions, even your constant refusals to assist them even though you would do anything for them. When you think of any memory tied to the town, almost every one had him connected into it, his sincerity and love for his friends inspiring you to make the same sacrifices onto selflessness. You couldn’t have hoped for a better person to care for your sister.

The thought of losing them both…

Warmth slipped into your hand and you look up to see Robin’s smile, her hand squeezing yours gently as you led the others towards the hospital. Neither of you spoke, only basking in the safety you felt with eachother, calming nerves.

As the greying white of the building appears into view, flashing lights blare the road behind you, screeching sirens of persistence loud enough to pierce the chaos around you.

The ambulance stops just outside of the entrance, a gurney being pulled from the back and slid onto the paving. You barely take notice, head hung low as you glance back to check on Dustin and Eddie.

“Is she gonna be okay?! Anyone?!”

Your head whips up to see someone else emerge from the transport, reddened eyes and quick breaths as they yell in exasperation.

Erica steps around him, noticing you stood with a look of shock on your face. She immediately turns to get his attention, pulling on his shirt and nodding in your direction.

Lucas’ face drops when he sees you, eyes widening. He glances to the gurney.

It doesn’t take long for the puzzle to build itself.

“Max.” You breathe out, loud enough for your friends to halt all movement and find the source of your whisper.

Without even waiting for confirmation, you drop Robin’s hand and sprint over to where they were carting your sister into the hospital, a sob leaving your lips when you see her face, blood staining her cheeks in tear paths.

“You need to step back.” A nurse informed you a little bitterly and you shake your head, keeping up with the fast pace.

“She’s my sister!” You insist and the woman sighs, nodding to another worker.

“And we will let you know everything once we finish her surgery.”

“No, I- Surgery?” You repeat, hand brushing against Max’s face before she’s pulled away from you and through restricted doors, leaving you stood alone in the foyer, murmurs of busy people vibrating around you.

“Y/n?”

You turn around to see Lucas stood a few steps from you, body almost curling in on itself like he was guilty, ashamed. With the drop of your heart, you realise he must think you’d hate him for breaking his promise. Your feet moved quickly.

Closing the distance, you wrap your arms around him and pull him close. His arms immediately clung onto you, soft sobs vibrating into your shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I tried- he-”

“It’s okay.” You soothe, squeezing your eyes shut. “You’re here. That’s what matters. You did everything you could.”

Lucas’ mumbles of apology quickly faded into silent tears, his tight grasp finding comfort in your arms and letting you hold him up. Behind him, Erica patiently waits, her sad eyes finding yours and flickering to her older brother, a look of helplessness.

The doors open to reveal the others, Steve calling for doctors passing by and struggling to make excuses for Eddie’s condition.

“Look, I don’t know what to tell you, we…” Steve stumbles over words, looking to Robin.

“Uh, yeah, we… found him. Like this, I mean. We found him like this.” She finishes, turning red. She was never one for lying.

The doctor raised an eyebrow and Eddie sighed.

“Bats.” He states and they look surprised.

“Bats?” The doctor repeats and Eddie nods.

“Yeah, bats.”

Nancy clocks the medic’s startled face and clears her throat. “He might just be in shock, you know. The, um, earthquake must’ve spooked a lot of animals.”

“Right.” The doctor sounds hesitant but motions over a nurse, whispering something in her ear before she helps them take Eddie from Steve’s hold.

As they pass, Eddie sends you a smile, your brain instantly recognising that look where he hides something behind his eyes. You frown, carefully pulling away from Lucas but keeping an arm around him.

You watch as the doctor nods to a guard by the entrance, the man moving swiftly across the foyer and towards where the medics were helping Eddie.

And, with the sickening realisation, you knew there wasn’t even a small chance he’d have a normal life after this.

Because you never managed to clear his name.

Steve was by your side as you glared up at Officer Callahan, arms crossed as you stared with such malice he was starting to look uncomfortable.

As you intended. After all, his spiel about Eddie’s ‘murder rampage’ boiled your veins with each shake of his head.

“I’m just stating the law-”

“Fuck the law!” You spit and he widens his eyes, adjusting his hat.

Steve raises his brows but says nothing, trying to hide a smirk as the officer slowly shrinks in size.

“And it’s not even true. Which we’ve been trying to tell you for the past 20 minutes and honestly, I’m really starting to think our law enforcement is really fucking stupid.”

“Hey, now-” Callahan complains but you raise your hand and he shuts his mouth.

“Please, tell me how it’s humanly possible for anyone, much less Eddie, to be able to do that to someone.” You challenge and whatever retort he had was thrown away, shoulders slumping as he sighs.

“It’s not up to him.”

You and Steve turn to see Powell enter the hallway, nodding to his colleague.

“Since he was seen in contact with 2 out of the 3 victims, we have to take into account that he doesn’t have any kind of alibi.” Powell explains and you purse your lips.

“Explain my sister, then.” You say and he looks surprised, glancing to Callahan for clarification but in return getting a shrug.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Max is currently in surgery after being found with all her bones snapped and her eyes bleeding.” You try and keep control over your voice, wanting them to take you seriously. “Exactly like the other kids. And Eddie couldn’t possibly have done that.”

“How do you know that he didn’t?” Powell raises an eyebrow and you’re ready to answer until Steve’s reminding touch stops you.

“Uh…” You struggle to speak.

To tell the police that you had been hiding a fugitive wouldn’t look great for anyone, but especially not you. You knew about the records they kept on you at the station, the looks you’d get anytime you would pass an officer. They’d be quick to assume that Eddie had an accomplice.

“He was with me.” Steve breaks his silence and your eyes widen, whipping your head to him. He avoids your eyes, looking to Powell and scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, long story short I kinda ran into him at Skull Rock, got to talking. I mean, I was all on board thinking Eddie could’ve done it until I actually met the guy and yeah, I gotta tell ya… not a murderer.”

Callahan’s eyes narrowed while Powell assessed Steve’s face for any hint of a lie. You held your breath.

Powell eventually nods, glancing off into the distance before running a hand down his face. “Alright.”

“Alright?” You prompt, brows furrowed.

“We’ll reopen the case.” He states and Callahan turns to him with wide eyes.

“We will?”

“Yes.” Powell nods, adjusting his hat and finding your eyes. “I can’t guarantee anything will change, but he’ll no longer be in our custody. At least not until we’ve dealt with this earthquake.”

You let out your breath and exchanged a triumphant smile with Steve.

Callahan clears his throat pointing a stare. “It does mean we’re gonna have to take statements, from you and your boyfriend here. We expect you to show up this time.”

His narrowed eyes stay on you until he’s rounded the corner, contrasting the slight nod giving by his chief and then they’re out of sight, leaving you and Steve stood outside of Eddie’s room with dumbfounded smiles.

“Did that just really work?” You ask, unfolding your arms and frowning in joyful confusion.

“I’ll be honest,” Steve runs a hand through his hair, “When you said ‘I’m gonna scare them into freeing Eddie’, I kinda expected to be visiting you behind bars.”

You smirk. “Aww, you’d visit me?”

There was a smile on his face, but not from the humour. He was glancing to where Powell and Callahan had disappeared then returning to your face, struggling to keep his lips from widening into a grin.

“What?” You question, cocking your head.

“Nothing, I just…” He wets his lips as he shoves his hands into his pocket, grin on display. “You didn’t correct him.”

You furrow your brows, searching through your memory. “About what?”

“Nothing.” Steve shakes his head, grinning still. “Don’t worry about it.”

Laughing, you open your mouth to respond when something catches your eye. Silhouettes of two figures stood down the hall, sporting matching jackets that you’d recognise anywhere.

Steve frowns, looking over his shoulder to what stole your attention and he holds his breath. He turns back to see your furious gaze, the way your hands balled into little fists.

Lucas had explained everything, from the very beginning of Max baiting Vecna to the ending of Jason showing up out of the blue, smashing her Walkman in the process. Erica was quick to chime in about his friend, the attack. Needless to say, one of them had picked a wrong day to show up in your line of vision.

“Okay, let’s-” Steve begins, but you’re already storming towards them. “Nevermind, okay.”

“Hey!” You shout across the hallway, the boys’ heads locating the call. The one with darker hair looked surprised, fearful even, making you think he knew exactly who you were. The other sported a hat, and, adding fuel to your fire, seemed completely unbothered.

“Can we help you?” He grumbles. Andy, you read on his jacket as you stop in front of them.

You take a look between the two before settling on Andy. “You the one that tackled a little kid and threatened to break her arms?”

The boy beside him- Chase- shifts uncomfortably, looking to his friend with a startled expression. Andy barely flinched.

“No.” He spat, shoving his hands in his jacket and nodding to his friend, a cruel smile on his face as he begins to turn away.

“You realise harming a minor results in both jail time and high monetary fines?” You retort, his footsteps slowing.

He looks to you with a scoff. “You a fucking cop or something?”

“No.” You shrug, tilting your head. “Just a friend of the victim.”

“I don’t know what that little shit said but I didn’t do anything.” Andy insists, voice deep. It wasn’t a plead of innocence. It was a warning.

“Look, we’re just here looking for Jason.” Chase interjects, looking extremely nervous.

“Uh…” You frown, feeling a little guilty in knowing the truth. But you didn’t want to be the one to bear the news. “Haven’t seen him.”

“Waste of time.” Andy mumbles, scanning your body before rolling his eyes and sending Chase a sarcastic look. You purse your lips.

“Maybe if you had checked on him before running away like a wimp, you wouldn’t be wasting your time.”

“Andy?” Chase frowns and Andy’s amused face abruptly drops to a scowl. Chase seemed to have no idea of the previous events of the night, part of you wondering if he wanted out of the ‘hunting’ after his teammate died. Or maybe he was just morally better than the rest of them.

“I’m warning you.” Andy grits his teeth, body fully facing you now. He was clearly a violent one.

Maybe you should take the warning. After all, Andy was physically built as an athlete, much taller and stronger than you were. Your most recent exercise was climbing up a rope and hell, that was a struggle.

But Vecna had really heightened your preferences on what you would find intimidating.

“About what?” You challenge, raising your eyebrows. “You gonna break my arms then run away? Because as I recall, my friend still has her limbs perfectly intact and she’s 11, so… if you can’t even win a fight against a literal child, what makes you think you’ll win-”

Andy’s arm flies out, hand flat as he aims to swipe it across your head. The effect would have hurt for sure, if someone hadn’t caught it just before impact.

You barely flinched as it was, already set to have dodged the attack. But there was something even better having Steve Harrington stood next to you, hand gripping Andy’s wrist tightly as he glares at him.

“I’m warning you.” Steve threatens, voice low. “You fucking touch her and I guarantee someone’s losing their arm today.”

He violently thrusts Andy’s arm back to him, earning a wide-eyed stumble. Andy moves forward, but Chase blocks him.

“Come on, man, let’s just go.” He places a hand on his shoulder and manoeuvres him backwards.

There’s one more angry look from Andy before Chase manages to wrangle him back down the hall and out of your sight. You figure this won’t be the last of seeing him.

“I swear you make more enemies than you do friends.” Steve lets out a breath, shaking his head in disbelief.

“As long as I always have my knight in shining armour to save me.” You bat your eyelids sarcastically and he chuckles, clicking his jaw.

“I’m just glad I actually did something this time instead of running in when it was all over.” Steve smirks knowingly and you look to the ground.

“Can’t believe he did that to Erica. That any of them were just ready to kill a guy because of what? A- a game that they thought was satanic. Part of me felt bad for Jason, but the rest of them barely had an excuse.”

“And Jason did?” Steve quirks a brow.

You sigh, “He was broken. Chrissy was his girlfriend and, I mean, he clearly loved her. Love makes you do crazy things and no, I do not think anything he did was right, but he was hurting. So badly. God, if I was told that someone I loved was murdered, I’d…”

“Hurl Molotov cocktails at the guy who did it?” Steve suggests, attempting a joke but ultimately placing his arms around your shoulders and pulling you closer, planting a kiss on the side of your head.

“She’s gonna be okay, you know.” He mumbles into your hair after a while and your shoulders slump. Of course he already knew what you were thinking.

“We should probably be in the waiting room. For when the doctors have news.” You say quietly and he nods. “Maybe get some coffee so I can be awake. They’ll be a while.”

His arm slips from your shoulders but instead finds your hand, intertwining fingers as you walk towards the busy noise of people impatiently waiting for good news.

“Should also probably get our bruises looked at.”

“I’d rather suffer in silence until I get a good night’s sleep.”

“You literally just said you wanted coffee.”

“Huh, then I guess it’ll have to wait a little longer.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“You love me really.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You guys heard from California yet?” Lucas asks, his voice thick with tears as one hand holds an icepack to his face. He was trying his best to stay calm, but his leg anxiously bounced as he leant back in his chair. Erica's head was rested gently against his shoulder, the girl drifting off to sleep.

“No.” Nancy sighs, scrunching her face. You knew she and Jonathan hadn’t been talking as much lately. You prayed that everyone was okay, and that Nancy and Jonathan would be fine. They were meant for eachother.

“Oh my god.” Robin suddenly blurts, standing up abruptly. She glances around at everyone’s concerned faces. “I gotta call my parents.”

Once her eyes locate it, she bounds over to the phone hanging from the wall, scrambling to dial a number in. Nancy raises her head.

“What is it?” You notice Nancy’s fallen expression, the tightening of her lips. It looked like she was about to cry.

“My parents. Holly.” She says in breaths and you move from your chair to crouch in front of her.

“I’m sure they’re fine.” You comfort, placing your hand over hers and dipping your head down to find her eyes. “Okay, your- your dad is always watching those disaster documentaries, right? He would have gotten your mom and Holly to safety in no time.”

You didn’t have that much faith in Ted Wheeler. It wasn’t that he was a bad father, or anything like that. You were just closer to Karen, her taking you in like you were her own, and their marriage was far from perfect. Ted seemed grumpy most of the time, but regardless he definitely had love for his family. That was something you could have faith in.

“Yeah.” Nancy gulps her anxiety. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right. I’ll call them when the phone’s free.”

You stand in time to see Steve rejoin you after a brief coffee run, noticing Nancy’s unease straight away.

“Nance?” He questions, placing her coffee beside her and another on the small table for Robin, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” She sends him a quick smile, reaching for the cup and holding it up. “Thank you.”

Steve walks back to the seats opposite her, carefully placing himself in the seat beside yours, holding two cups. Gratefully, you take the hot beverage from his hands and hold it to your lips, breathing in the familiar scent. If you were going to be here a while, you needed caffeine.

Just as you shift back into your seat, echoing footsteps approached behind you.

“Mayfield?”

You whip your head up, exchanging wide glances with Lucas, and jumping from your seat to raise your hand.

“Hi, yeah. I’m her sister.” You stumble across the words, not expecting to hear back from the doctors so soon. The surgery would surely take hours to be successful without…

...without anything going wrong.

Your face drops as the doctor hugs the clipboard, offering a tight smile.

“I’ll need to speak to you privately.” Their eyes shift to the curious faces of your friends behind you. “Family only.”

You glance back at Lucas, the ice pack now deserted on his seat. There wasn’t much to do, so you made a silent vow to tell him everything.

As you follow the doctor down the surgery hallway, the bleached white walls seemed to be closing in on you, tightening your chest. Not a word was uttered as you pushed through the doors, entering a room with artificial lights that blinded you on first look.

The doctor stills, turning back to you and sighing. They didn’t need to say anything.

Your eyes had already drifted to the window beside you, your furrowed expression faltering.

Chapter 24: Hell Comes To Hawkins ->

[A/N: guys, there's only one episode left of Raining Hellfire 4 SOMEBODY SEDATE ME]

taglist: @gnnnne / @beepisbeep / @paintballkid711 / @eddiesbirdie / @livasaurasrex / @darktimelegends / @jackierose902109 / @mvrylee / @chervbs / @eternallyvenus / @nervouscatsuit / @f1nn-wolfhard / @hereiamhereigo / @ladybug0095 / @fangirling-4-ever / @astrolockley / @mothmanatemycat / @sheisjoeschateau / @champagnejoker / @umidktbh / @fallinginlovewithqueue / @ilovetaylorswift132006 / @live-the-fangirl-life / @sadbitchfangirl / @cherrymedicine13 / @engenelxver / @sagaonpandora /

#stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #eddie munson #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #max mayfield #vecna #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #eleven stranger things #erica sinclair #st4 #stranger things 4 #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington x reader #vecna’s curse #stranger things reader insert #fanfic

[elliespuns]

Honestly, I like how Show Ellie managed to save herself from David in all ways possible: she killed him when he attempted to assault her, then ran from the burning building by herself. Idk, it's just incredibly important to me, the fact that she's her own hero and is able to recognize the moment she needs to stop because she is far more important than anything that David ever was and represented.

BUT, the follow up with Joel is kind of a let down. Yeah, sure, he calls her "baby girl," but... man, Game Joel was crying while holding her, and it's up to the audience to decide if it's because he's sorry he left her alone for so long, if he feels guilty because now she has killed a man with a machete and he wasn't there to help her, if he fears said man might've done something to her, or if it's just relief from seeing she's still alive (or a mixture of everything). He was crying and holding her and telling her "I'm never leaving you again, you understand?"

It helped depressurize the scene, show how much Joel relied on Ellie for comfort too, how it wasn't a "duckling thinks the first thing she saw is her parent" situation, but that they love each other mutually and completely. Joel's promise to Ellie also translates in the finale of both games too.

In the show... it kinda fell flat? It felt like they were desperate to wrap up the episode as quickly as possible, as if the more quiet parts of Joel and Ellie's relationship aren't worth seeing if they don't directly advance the plot.

I like the show, I love how they implemented Joel's PTSD and gave him panic attacks and depicted just how irrational grief can be by showing him mistaking that girl in Jackson for his Sarah, but... that post-David scene was so, so important for the development of his relationship with Ellie, and seeing how the writing treated it as if it was something not particularly meaningful makes me sad.

That's true. Giving Ellie the freedom to save herself in the show was maybe the ONE good thing about this scene when it comes to comparing it with the game version.

But then again, as you say, we got so much more from this scene in the game that we just have to compare it all the time, like it can't be unseen. I feel like we've been robbed of one of the best scenes in TLOU when it comes to HBO. This particular scene was as important as the scene at the farm house where Ellie and Joel had their confrontation. They nailed this scene. Then why did they decide to go down with the babygirl scene? I have no freaking idea. It's like they do half the story's justice and the other half they just don't because, why the fuck not, I guess.

I am very curious about what we will get in Season 2 and how many things are going to caress our hearts and how many things are going to piss us off on the contrary. I swear to God, it sometimes feels like Mazin hasn't heard about the game at all, and Druckmann just blankly stares at him and lets him demean the whole plot of the greatest story ever told.

*sigh*

#the last of us #tlou #ellie williams #ellie tlou #joel miller #joel tlou #ellie and joel #the last of us game #tlou game #the last of us hbo #tlou hbo #bella ramsey #pedro pascal #elliespuns answers

[13as07]

Bruised

(Shino Aburame)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to Pixiv Id]

Requested by: Anonymous

Word Count: 3,530

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Attempted Stabbing

PTSD Attack

Bruises

I fully believe Shino's hair type falls somewhere on the high 3 to low 4 ranking and you can't convince me otherwise

———————————————————————

     "Akimichi-San," I try to coo, my hands up as I slowly approach the elderly man. The elderly man is still built like the brick he was during his Shinobi days. "It's alright, do you know where you are? You're at the Konoha Veterans' Retirement Center," I carefully explain, my eyes flickering from the active PTSD episode patient and my fellow nurses waiting on standby to interfere.

     "Stay back!" The man yells, waving around the butter knife he's clinging to. The butter knife he was just using to split the biscuit he was going to have with his supper. Why doesn't anyone listen to me when I tell them not to give Akimichi-San any sharp object? 'He hasn't had an attack in four months it's fine so we're sure he's fine'. Obviously not.

     "Alright, I can do that," I say calmly, stopping in my tracks. "Everything is alright, Akimichi-San. At the moment you're having a flashback episode. I assure you that you are safe, that your wife is safe, your kids and your grandkids. You're all safe."

     "Stay back you trader! How could you betray your village?!" The man barks at me, eyes locked on me as he continues swishing the knife around. "You... you mind technique Shinobis always try to get in our heads. I don't have a wife! Let alone kids! Your, your, your little mind tricks won't work on me, trader."

     "Akimichi-San - "

     "Stop calling me that! It's Captain Akimichi. I worked hard for my title, respect it!"

     "Of course. My apologies Captain," I mutter, slowly bowing my head in apology. "I assure you I am unwaveringly loyal to both our village and our squad, my Captain."

     The nurse in the door throws his hands up, a nonverbal 'what the hell?' shooting from him. I shrug my shoulders and use my eyes to send back a 'I don't know, I'm just going with the flow I guess?'

     "No. No, no, no. You are not one of mine. You're a trader. I trader I say!" I'm yelled at again, this time paired with the man charging at me. Before I have time to react I'm slammed to the floor, Akimichi-San on top of me trying to stab me with the butter knife. Thank the Lord my coworkers react unlike me, hands flying around his wrist to keep the knife away from me as they attempt to pull him off.

The pain rippling through my body is so overwhelming that it's almost numb like I'm stuck underwater as my patient tries to stab me to death. The noise of my coworkers yelling, of me being yelled at and called a trader is muffled like I can't exactly make the sound out unless I actively try to.

At least it's all numb until an elbow is stabbed into my rib cage, Akimichi-San trying to stay on top of me, threats of my bone snapping hovering just as much as he is. I swear, at the very least I better be sent home early because of this.

————————————

     The more stairs I climb, the harder I breathe. The harder I breathe, the more my side hurts. They said my ribs weren't broken, but I don't exactly believe them at the moment. The pain rippling across my body, aimed at my chest sure makes it feel like something is broken.

     When I get to the top of the stairs - hunched over, panting for breath, and trying to will my body to stop hurting - the smell of cooking filters into the hallway. The single mother two doors down must be making her spicy curry again. It always makes the whole floor smell good.

I sigh as I dig through my pocket looking for my keys. The smell of cooking makes me dread the quick "just add heat" meal waiting for me. Shino has been busy prepping his students for graduation and I've been tied up at the Retirement Center pulling doubles and constant overtime. Our jobs haven't left us much time for each other recently, let alone the energy to cook or clean.

     The thought of our recked apartment only fills me with more dread. Our home most definitely has not been attended to in way too long. Though, since I'm on medical leave for the next week I suppose I'll have time to cook and clean for us. The thought makes the doctor's note ordering me to rest and take my pain meds burn in my pocket. I'll have plenty of time to rest. Spending the day tomorrow cleaning won't do too much harm.

...Or not.

When the door to the apartment swings open, I'm not greeted with the recent commonly placed piles of Shino's grading sheets, the occasional disregarded clothing, the layer of dust that's been building, and the small piles of nick-nacks dumped from my scrub pockets. The yummy scent coating the apartments' hallway seems to be wafting out from our home as well.

"Welcome home, Cricket," Shino mutters, tugging my attention toward the kitchen.

"You're home early," I call back, setting my bags down before my focus shifts to changing into my house shoes.

"I could say the same to you," he counters, walking out of the kitchen, and quickly beating me to the floor. Shino sinks to a knee, propping my foot on his bent leg so he can undo my laces for me. "I did not expect you for another hour or two. It's quite the damper on my day."

"How's it a damper on your day?" I ask, my eyes trailing after his movements. Foot propped, work shoe off, house shoe on, kiss, foot down, repeat. My lover has a bad habit of saying things that come off as mean without explanation; this is one of those times. It's taken some time but I've figured out he rarely if ever means it in a mean way.

"The reason being that I wanted to clean the bathtub before you got home. Everywhere has been cleaned but I've been putting off the shower. I also wanted dinner to be finished before you returned home," he answers, leaning forward to press a string of kisses to my knee before he sets my foot down. "However it is not the end of the world, I can still clean the tub," he adds, climbing to his feet before dusting off his pants.

"You cleaned the whole house, Shi, I can clean the tub," I counter, already heading towards the kitchen to grab the cleaning supplies.

He softly hums, a hand lounging forward to grab my waist. "No, I will clean the tub," Shino mumbles, pulling on me so my back collides with his chest. His head dips down, his nose sliding up and down my neck slowly.

My breath comes out rough, threatening to be a hiss because of his fingers digging into my side. "Okay," I mutter, my focus on not having a pain-filled break-down instead of fighting with him or the soft loving touch he's littering my skin with.

     Shino glances at me, a hint of curiosity in his eyes before he releases me, off to go clean the tub. He has the habit of feeling like he needs to do everything to show that he cares and I have the habit of fighting him on it, insisting that I'm capable of doing things for myself, the house, and us. After having him cling to my bruises, I hurt, and being hunched over the tub doesn't seem like the best idea to help with that pain.

     After a moment - and a pile of calming breaths - I make my way into the kitchen, nosing around to see what he's cooking for dinner. Karaage. I swear if I didn't know any better I'd think Shino is trying to make me plumper.

     "Cricket?" He calls the sound of his voice echoing through the house. "You should come sit with me."

     "Coming," I call back, turning on my heels to head toward the bathroom.

————————————

     "Alright," Shino whispers into my ear, stopping my led steps. "Open," he adds, dropping his hands from their wrapped position around my eyes.

     I know what it's going to be before I open my eyes. Shino's insistence that I stay out of the kitchen and almost locking me in our room were dead giveaways that he wanted to set something special up for our dinner tonight. Still, I can't help but feel giddy when I open my eyes.

     Our table is covered in a spotless white cloth, a thin red cloth lining the middle of it. Perfectly plucked and sorted flowers fill a vase in the middle of the table, my favorite flowers on display with almost sparkly fresh water. The vase is caged in by lit candles on either side of it, the soft flames being the only light in the room, eliminating the perfectly set up platings. Our main course and its sides litter the table, Shino's hard work ready to be enjoyed.

     "You're a doofus," I giggle, leaning back so I can be pressed up against him once again today. "A romantic doofus but still a doofus."

     "I will be more of a doofus later on," he mutters, arms snaking around my waist to pull me closer.

     My teeth clench, a softly hissed breath sliding out of my nose from Shino's usually comforting touch. "You're starting to make me believe I forgot our anniversary," I tease, shifting in his hold to hopefully get him to loosen it or at the very least take some pressure off my bruises.

     "It's not our anniversary," he mutters, eyebrows forwarded a bit as his arms relax, sliding down to my hips. "I have been busy with preparations and you have been busy filling in for the nurses on maternity leave. I enjoy waking up next to you, I do not enjoy it being most of the time I get to spend with you."

"Careful Shino, your emotions are starting to show," I continue to mock, getting a disapproving sigh in response, and his nose buried in my neck again. "How are you going to be more of a doofus later?" I ask, pulling myself out of his grasp and heading toward my chair.

     He moves forward, taking wide strides to beat me to the chair. Shino pulls my chair out, a hand propped out for me to take. I take his hand, letting him help me into my chair before I'm pushed in. "I have prepared us a nice bath to take after we have eaten."

     The thought of my bruised side flickers through my mind. The last thing Shino needs at the moment is to worry about my health. He's already stressed enough about work and when I'm hurt, his stress is at an all-time high. "I appreciate the thought but I think I'm going to bathe alone tonight," I mutter, keeping my focus on filling my plate.

     "What?" He asks, his tone soaked in surprise. "My little singing Cricket, I have not bathed alone for the majority of our relationship. How often do you randomly appear in the shower with me? Every time. Every day. Not today? Why not?" By the end of his ramble, Shino looks concerned, like he might burst into tears. The shadows of the room and the soft light of the candles don't help the upsetness coating his face.

     I reach across the table, wrapping my fingers around his as I rub my thumb over his knuckles. "It's nothing you did, Shi. I just... want to bathe alone. That's all."

     "But that is our time together. It is something we do together. Cricket?" He races out, his kikaichus starting to spill out and buzz around the more upset he gets. "I want to take a bath with you. Why don't you want to take a bath with me?"

     "I want to, I do. I just... Shino it's not - "

     He stands up, the noise of his kikaichus getting louder. "It is a big deal. That is our 'us' time. We shower together every day. Every day. I do not understand why we would not today. What do I need to do to fix it?"

     I slowly blink, watching Shino hurry around the table. His hands land on me, starting to paw at me and toy with my clothes as he kneels on the ground. His eyes are swimming with concern, eyebrows forward still, and his chest pumping with quicker breaths. I didn't realize he was so attached to our daily shower. Though, he is a man of routine so I guess it's not that surprising.

     "Shino," I try cooing, my side getting irritated from the constant pressure being added and taken away from it. "I think you need to calm down a bit."

"How am I supposed to calm down when you won't tell me what I need to fix?"

"Shi," I try again, cupping his cheeks, softly stroking him as I lean closer to his face. "Calm down. I'm not leaving you, I'm not angry with you, you didn't do anything wrong," I mutter, brushing a butterfly kiss against his nose, hoping it'll help him calm down. It doesn't.

"Alright, so I need to fix an outside source. I still can't fix it if you don't tell me what's wrong," he mutters, nuzzling his nose against mine back. Shino has closed his eyes, his face has gone soft from my gentle redirection that I wasn't convinced would work.

     Looking at the outside layer of my boyfriend, you'd never guess how clingy and insecure the poor man is. I guess that comes with feeling and being treated like an outsider from your generation of Shinobis. I don't understand how my soft Shino could be so over-looked by his coworkers.

"I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about." Maybe it would be less stress on him if I just told him I was hurt... but then he'd stress about me getting hurt again and about my healing process. Why does Shino have to be such a worry-wart? "I'm just a little achy is all."

"From work?" He asks, clinging to my waist again, causing new sparks of pain to bloom.

"Yes," I mutter, tugging his hand down.

His eyes snap open, curiosity and worry flickering through them again. "Was there another incident?" Shino pushes, starting to slide the edge of my shirt up. I'm sure the anxious little cicada has his mind running in a million different directions.

"It's not a big deal," I try to downplay, tugging my shirt back into place. "Would you stop worrying so much? The more you worry the more I stress out about how stressed you are."

"I don't mean to make you stressed," Shino mumbles, eyes locked on me as his hand fights with mine, continuing to try and peel my shirt up. "I just want to fix what is wrong in any way I can. Let me fix it. Please?"

"Fine," I sigh, giving in and letting him raise my shirt. "No freaking out."

"I won't freak out." Shino's face fills with contentment, contentment that quickly washes away once he gets a look over my rib cage. His eyes flicker from my dark bruises to my face, his expression a mix of concern and anger. Well, as close to anger as he can muster. "You are... you are bruised."

"I am bruised," I echo, trying not to jerk away when he runs his fingertips over the marked-up skin. His eyes dance over my skin as well, getting more upset the longer he looks at the bruises.

     His mouth snaps open and closed a few times as he repeatedly blinks, struggling to form a sentence. "Cricket," Shino starts, his voice slowly rising with the nickname.

     "You said you wouldn't freak out."

     "I'm not freaking out," he mutters, letting my shirt fall back into place. "We will have a nice supper and a relaxing bath," he continues, muttering more to himself than me as he walks back to settle into his chair. Maybe I shouldn't have given in and told him.

I carefully watch Shino's body language, waiting for his calm composure to break as he fills his plate. "My students would like to know if you'll be attending their graduation." Maybe it will be okay. Maybe Shino won't have a meltdown over this, maybe he won't stress about it.

     "Of course, I will. I've already been approved for the time off."

     He falls silent, slowly blinking as he stares at me, our food forgotten. "I can't let it go."

"I figured."

————————————

     Shino's hands move slowly, using a towel to gently pat my bruises to dry them off with minimal pain being caused. His panic has gone down a bit since dinner, but he's still as attentive as the dotting boyfriend he is. "Does it hurt? Am I hurting you?" He asks, his touches stalling for a moment.

     "You're not hurting me," I hum, sliding my hand through his hair, being careful not to pull on any of the knots. Unlike the rest of him, Shino's hair is dry since it wasn't his hair-wash day. Despite not washing it, his hair is still knotted and needs to be picked through, though I doubt he'll let me do it for him at the moment. I don't he'll let me do anything for the next week.

     "Alright," he mutters, dabbing at me a few more times before he tosses the towel into the hamper. "Let's go lay you down now."

     "I'm not dying, Shi."

     "I know," he snips at me, ushering me into our bedroom. "You need to rest and your bruises need to be taken care of."

I let out a sigh, taking slow footsteps so I don't get 'yelled' at again for 'over-exerting' myself. Shino's hands wander over me, being careful to avoid my wounds. "Alright, lay down on your side. You're not hurt side, the reason being it is good to elevate bruises above heart level."

"I know, Shi," I giggle, rolling my eyes at him as I crawl into the bed, lying how I was told to. I swear, sometimes he forgets I'm a nurse.

"I will be right back," he tells me, peppering my cheek with kisses before vanishing. It's not long until Shino is back, smothering my face in small kisses again as he sets his supplies down. "Alright, I am going to coat you in some peppermint oiled lotion the reason being that it'll help you heal faster and help with the color. Then we'll start your cold compress," he mumbles, once again talking more to himself than me. "The reason - "

"- being that it'll help the swelling?" I cut him off, chuckling at him again. "I know, Shino."

He falls quiet, blinking at me a few times before he shifts into motion. "I know," he finally whispers, squirting some lotion on my side. Shivers spill down my back from the cold liquid. The soft clinking of glass follows, Shino adding a few drops of peppermint oil before his hands connect with me. His kikaichus start spilling out too, pitter-pattering between the two of us and crawling over the bed sheets.

"You are beautiful. You are outstanding. You are inspiring. You are brilliant." Compliments spill from Shino as easily as his breaths. His hands are nimble and warm as he carefully rubs the lotion into my skin, being sure not to press too hard as he soothes my bruises. The feeling is lulling and comforting, the same as his smooth voice. "You are my everything," he adds, his lips falling down my side, careful to avoid the tinted lotion being massaged with his hands.

"You're amazing too, Shi," I murmur, starting to fall asleep from his pampering. "Thank you. For everything."

"Of course, Cricket," he answers, a hand falling away as the other one crawls down my back, massaging a different area. His lips trail over my arm, twirling up it before connecting with my neck. More kikaichus spill out, tumbling over their master's fingers to explore. They quickly spread their wings, the smell of the oil scaring them off, pushing them to go adventure somewhere else in the room.

Soon, a cloth-wrapped ice pack is laid on my side, just a hint of pressure added to it. "I will be calling out of work tomorrow," he mutters, softly sucking on my skin. Shino is a health nut, obviously, so he doesn't suck longer than a few seconds before finding a different patch of my neck to focus on.

"I don't need you to call out of work. I'll be fine on my own."

"I will not be going to work tomorrow. I will be here with you all day," he grumbles, his nose bumping against my jawline. My throat quickly abounded for my jaw, kisses and soft suctions continuing.

"Why is that?"

"The reason being that I miss you," he whispers, slowly making his way up to my lips. "And I wish to continue pampering you. My pretty, uninformative, stubborn, bruised Cricket." A rare chuckle comes from Shino, soft and almost silent, but still there.

#naruto shippuden #naruto shippuden oneshot #naruto shippuden x reader #shino x reader #shino aburame x reader #shino aburame oneshot #shino oneshot #shino aburame

[thisisarcanereverie]

When the World Went to Shit (Chapter 5)

Joel Miller x FEM! Reader

A/N: this is a SPOILER WARNING, this contains spoliers from the third episode (and more to come). This is a day late, watched episode 5 last night for the first time and I needed a moment oh my god. I was barely ready to write about episode 3, now I have to look forward to episode 5. I am already in tears over it.

WARNINGS: Canon level of violence, swears, reader is ready to fight a goddamn child, Joel is sad, talks of grief, PTSD, brief mentions of gore, Eventual Smut, pining (on both ends), grumpy idiots in love, reader is in her late 30's to early to mid 40's. Major character deaths. DISCLAIMER NO CHARACTERS/GIFS/PICS USED ARE MINE.

Summary: 20 years later after the world went to shit you, Joel, and Tess have to take 14 year old Ellie to the Firefly base outside of Boston QZ. What was supposed to be a simple plan turned into something much more complicated.

Prev. Chapter

After leaving the station you continued on your walk, you were thankful for the decent weather at least. No rain or snow or anything really that could slow you down. Once again you were looking around your surroundings, careful to make sure there were no signs of any other person using this trail but you and Joel. 

“So…” Ellie started, “how did you guys meet?” she kicked a rock further down the road, one that she had been kicking since a few yards back. 

“That’s a random question.” You said, looking at her. 

“Well it’s going to be a while until we reach Bill and Franks,” Ellie pointed out, kicking the rock again, “and it’s been killing me, I wanna know!” 

“Well,” you started since you knew Joel wouldn’t answer, “we met before the outbreak.” 

“But how long before the outbreak?” 

“It was 1984.” you said doing the math in your head, “so that would’ve been 18 years or so before the outbreak.” You see her jaw drop and stop kicking the rock. 

“Wow,” Ellie gawked, “you both are old, like dinosaur old.” you rolled your eyes and slightly pushed her shoulder. 

“Not that old,” You said before pretending to think, “well maybe except Joel.” 

“Ha ha ha,” Joel laughed dryly, “good one.” You smiled behind him as you turned to Ellie who was smiling too. 

“So that means Joel is older than you?” 

“By six or seven odd years,” You said, “his brother Tommy was a friend of mine.” 

“How old is Tommy?” 

“Let’s get off the subject,” Joel said. You could see his shoulders stiffen at the mention of Tommy. When everything went down and Tommy joined the Firefly’s Joel was livid with him. They were barely on speaking terms before he left and it broke your heart to see the two brothers dissolved into that. 

“Holy shit,” you heard Ellie say as she rushed to the side of the road where a small clearing of trees were. An airplane wreckage, when you were younger you were terrified of them but what you wouldn’t give to see a functional one up in the air. You looked over your right to see Joel standing beside you, you wonder if Joel ever reminisced about random, mundane things and missed it like you did. Like running late to work because of traffic so you were forced to listen to the radio as it cleared out, or seeing that one old couple on your way to work that always asked you how your day was. Just the little things like that, that used to be annoying or sweet but were taken advantage of. 

“Have you ever flown in one of those?” Ellie asked her eyes never leaving the ruins. 

“Sure,” Joel answered, “a few times.” 

“So lucky.”

“It didn’t feel like it at the time,” Joel said, his eyes never leaving the plane either, “get shoved into a middle seat and pay 12 bucks for a sandwich.”

“What airline did you use? because that’s fucking criminal.” you asked, sure they put you in crappy middle seats  but  at least they didn’t overcharge you for a crappy sandwich. 

“Dudes,” Ellie said, you looked at her to see her no longer looking at the wreckage but at you and Joel, “you guys got to go up in the sky,”

You looked at the wreckage again, and much like your world it was broken and had casualties. You remember watching the planes dropping from the sky like fiery falling stars. But only they screamed, and burned as they crashed, killing in its wake. 

“So did they.” Joel said before continuing the walk, Ellie followed him soon after. You stayed there a moment, had you not canceled your flight that day you could’ve been among those people, amongst all those fiery inferno’s. It was a grim thought, it was even more grim to wonder if you would have been better off if you had. 

You took one last look of it as you caught up with the other two, something bothering you in the back of your mind. 

You walked further along, sometimes you would take the front and Joel would walk behind you with Ellie or he would walk ahead. Something bothered you about that crash, a mental note you made that seemed to elude you. 

“So everything came crashing down in one day?” 

“Pretty much.” 

“How?” Ellie asked, “I mean, no one was infected with the Cordyceps, everyone is fine, eating in restaurants and flying in planes, and then what? It just happened all at once? How did it even start?” There were a lot of rumors, but no one really knew for sure. “If you have to get bitten to be infected, then who bit the first person? A monkey, I’m willing to bet it was a monkey.” 

“It wasn’t a monkey,” Joel groaned, “I thought you went to school?”

“FEDRA school,” Ellie explained, “They didn’t teach us how their shitty government failed to prevent a pandemic.” You wouldn’t expect them to either, their educational system left things to be desired. There was a silence that fell, the start of the end wasn’t something you liked to talk about more than anyone else. It brought back memories that made your heart ache, it brought back your mother and how you never got the chance to tell her goodbye. 

“No one knows for sure,” Joel explained, “but the best guess was that the cordyceps mutated and some of it got into the food supply. Probably a basic ingredient like flour or sugar, there were certain types of food that were sold everywhere, all across the country and world. Bread, cereal…pancake mix.” Joel hesitated before listing the last item, something that you didn’t have the heart to ask about, knowing it was something he probably didn’t want to share. However, he had that look in his eye, the one full of grief and rage. The look he only got when he remembered Sarah, and what happened to her. “If you eat enough of it’ll get you infected. So all the tainted foods hit the store shelves around the same time thursday, people bought it, that very night people ate with that food or early Friday morning. Day goes on, people get sick, day goes on even further they get even more sick…and then they start biting…Friday night September 26, 2003 is the night the world went to shit and by Monday everything was gone.” 

You remembered why that crash bugged you so much and the note you mentally made as a landmark between here and where you were heading. Your eyes widened as you remembered what you were going to pass in just a few short miles. You turned to look at Joel, who seemingly remembered too as he put a hand in front of the small girl. 

There was a long, drawn out silence, one not even Ellie would dare break as she comprehended what she was told. You assumed in FEDRA School they mainly taught locations of things and how to kill. Not how all of this happened in the first place.

There was something bugging you, like a nat you couldn’t swat away. That mental note you made alluding to you until you see a tree with one lone arrow sticking from it. It had been yours when you still had a crossbow. 

“We’ll cut across the woods here,” Joel said, pointing to the other trail. He didn’t want Ellie to see it either, which didn’t surprise you. When both he and Tess took you the first time he tried to hide the horrors ahead from you as well. 

“Isn’t the road easier?” Ellie asked. She wasn’t wrong, the road was the easiest way, without all the branches and twists and turns. But what laid up the road was something you didn’t want her to see, it was something a girl her age shouldn’t ever have to see. 

“Yeah it’s just…” Even Joel was at a loss for words as to describe the scene ahead. “There’s stuff up there that you shouldn’t have to see.” 

“Well now I have to see.” 

“No,” You said firmly, looking at her, “no you don’t.” 

“We don’t want you too,’ Joel added. But in your limited amount of time with Ellie you knew that once she made up her mind there was no talking her out of it. So it didn’t surprise you when Ellie ignored you and continued along, this time she was in front of you. 

“Serious, Ellie” Joel said, his voice slightly raised, “there are some things you shouldn’t have to see.” 

“Can it hurt me?” Ellie asked. 

“No,”

“You’re too honest man!” Ellie said as she turned briefly to face your worried faces before returning to the road ahead of her, “should’ve said ax murderer.” you both looked at each other in defeat, knowing that it wasn’t going to be long until she came across what you were trying to protect her from.

Sure enough, you arrived at the makeshift burial ground. Only nothing was buried and the corpses of defenseless families laid where they fell at the hands of FEDRA soldiers years ago. When you first saw it you could feel your anger towards FEDRA rise. They were all people once, people who trusted FEDRA to keep them safe only for that trust to be repaid by a bullet in  their heads. You tried to not look at the rainbow wrapped baby in the decomposed arms of who you assumed was its mother. You look at the short brunette who went silent, her eyes taking in the sight in front of her. Bill told you about these people, how they had been his neighbors. You realized that FEDRA only drove them until the edge of town before executing them. 

You stood next to Ellie, who you were sure had a million questions after seeing this. 

Or maybe only one. 

“About a week after Outbreak day,” you started, “soldiers went through the countryside and evacuated small towns and told them they were going to a QZ…they were if there was room. If there wasn’t any then this happened.” 

“These people weren’t sick?” Ellie asked. 

“No,” you breathed, “most likely not.” 

“Why kill them?” Ellie's eyes narrowed the more she looked at the bodies, “why not just let them be?” 

“The dead can’t be infected.” You didn’t sugarcoat it, it wasn’t something you could even if you tried. You patted her arm to keep going, the longer you stayed here the longer you wished you could’ve beaten that FEDRA soldier instead of Joel. 

The rest of the way was silent for the most part, Ellie not really being in the mood to ask more questions or to make conversation and you couldn’t blame her. Instead of being worried you were thankful for the silence. Instead you tried to focus on something else other than what you saw back there. Your eyes instinctively went back to Joel, who was quiet, almost pensive. The Joel you grew up with could never have stayed silent for too long, but of course what did you know? You were more Tommy’s friend back then, or at least Tommy was closer in age than Joel was. It was mostly you and him sneaking into movie theaters to watch movies you weren’t allowed to see, or TP someone’s house during Halloween. When you both graduated school you went on to college while he went into the army, Tommy did always want to change the world. Naturally you grew apart, with your focus on your studies and the limited letters that came in, you both lost touch, only regaining it when you’re nearly 30, widowed, and the world was on fire.

Life was funny like that sometimes. 

It wasn’t long until you got to Bill and Franks, you were half expecting Bill to be on the other side of the gate already asking in his paranoid way who the girl with you was. However, Bill couldn’t move around like he used to and neither could Frank. So when you saw that they weren’t there it didn’t surprise you, when you arrived Joel pushed in the number code and the gate buzzed unlocked. You held open the door for Ellie and walked inside yourself. At first everything seemed alright, but as you approached the house your stomach dropped to your feet and you went cold. The flowers on the porch were dying, even after Frank could no longer move Bill always made sure that the flowers were watered so that Frank would have something beautiful to look at. A million thoughts ran through your mind, what if Bill had fallen? What if something worse happened?

You got your gun out, holding it in your hand steadily as you turned to Joel. 

“Something isn’t right.” You said, “the flowers were dying and Bill wasn’t there to meet us at the gate.” 

“I agree,” Joel said, “but it isn’t too out of place for Bill not to meet us there.” 

“Have you ever known Bill to take kindly to strangers he doesn’t know?”

“Good point.” Joel got his gun out as well as he went through the door first, leaving you second to enter. At first nothing seemed wrong, it was just silent. You figured if you were going to get attacked, it would’ve happened by now. 

“Try the bedroom,” You told Joel as you put your gun in your pocket, “I’ll see about the greenhouse.” Joel nodded as he made his way down the hallway, but before you made it to the back door you saw the accent table in the hallway. You thought for sure that you were seeing things until you wiped your finger across only to leave a mark. Dust. You’ve never known this house to get dusty, or cold, but damn was it cold in here. It was too cold for Frank, his condition tended to flare up in the cold it was almost downright torture for him. Panic started to fill you as you went into the dining room, once again there was dust, but also rotten food. 

“What the fuck.” Ellie says, astonished, though you could barely hear her over the light pounding in your ears. You looked at the food, dust, and dying flowers, all of it couldn’t have compiled more than maybe a couple of weeks at most. 

“I can’t get the door open,” Joel said coming into the dining room, “any luck in the greenhouse?” You didn’t say anything as your mind tried to comprehend what deep in your heart, you knew. 

They’re gone.

“Uhh,” You turned to Ellie who held an opened letter and a single key, “it’s addressed to you guys.” You looked at the envelope, 

To whomever, but probably Joel 

Bill’s handwriting. 

“It’s from Bill,” she said as you saw her eyes dart as she read the lines before looking up at you. “It came with this,” she handed him the key she was holding. 

“So they’re dead?” Joel asked, Ellie looked apologetic as she nodded. 

“You wanna read?” she asked, Joel looked at you but you shook your head, Joel then nodded for Ellie to read. 

“August 29th, 2023” Ellie began. 

“If you find this…please do not come into the bedroom. We left a window open so the house wouldn’t smell, but it will probably be a sight. I’m guessing you found this Joel, because anyone else would’ve been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps, hehehehehehe. Take anything you need, the bunker code is the same code for the gate but in reverse…Anyway, I never liked you, but still it’s like we’re friends…almost. And I respect you, So I’m gonna tell you something because you’re probably the only person who will understand. I used to hate the world and I was happy when everyone died…but I was wrong, because there was one person worth saving. That’s what I did, I saved him, and then I protected him. That’s why men like you and me are here, we have a job to do. 

And god help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. 

I leave you all of my weapons and equipment, use them to keep-” 

Ellie stopped suddenly, her eyes darting between you and Joel. You were about to ask what it said when Joel took it, reading it silently. 

“What does it say?” You ask, you could see a tense expression on his face as he ignored you. “Joel, what does it say?” he ignored you again, you were about to grab it when he moved it out of your reach. You could feel a tightening feeling in your chest as your eyes narrowed on him, “Joel, what does it say.”  he refused to look at you. You were about to ask and reach for it again when Ellie spoke up. 

“It said to keep Tess safe.” Ellie said, you turned to face her as Joel put the letter in his pocket. You felt your mouth go dry at her name and your heart break a little more as you understand what Bill said. He knew, and you were willing to bet Frank did as well. 

You were silent for a moment, turning away from Joel and Ellie as you gathered what strength you could. 

“Stay here.” 

You calmly walked out the door and to the side of the house, where they couldn’t see you and you let loose the tears that had been building up ever since you left Boston. You cried as you remembered how you failed to protect Tess and how it should’ve been you, you cried for Frank and Bill and you wished you could’ve done more for them. You let it all out, leaning against the house for support. You didn't cry like this, not since the outbreak. But every feeling you bottled until now seemed to overflow as you cried until your eyes were sore. 

When you came back Ellie was in the shower and you assumed Joel was checking out the supplies, so you decided to look around to see if there was anything else that you might need laying around. Hopefully they would both be busy enough that by the time they see you your eyes would be less tender and inflamed. You saw a box of clothes labeled ‘women’. They probably gathered this at the boutique so that you or Tess could go through it and get what you wanted. You were in need of some new clothes, the ones you were wearing were covered in grime and dirt. You searched and found a faded green henley, a new jacket, along with jeans, all new. You also found a few other changes of clothing that you would take with you along with some much needed underwear and bra. You were thankful that they thought of this, considering that this was only supposed to be an overnight job you didn’t pack accordingly in terms of clothes. You packed the other pair of jeans and shirt into your bag along with the two pairs of underwear and socks. They didn’t take up much room in your bag, which you were grateful for, and by the time you had gotten to the closet where he kept the toilet paper you heard Ellie come out of the shower. 

“Already snagged three rolls,” She said as she strolled past you, still drying her hair. “The shower is open if you want to get in. There should still be hot water left.” 

“Yeah,” you said quietly hoping your voice wouldn’t betray you, “I think I will, thanks.” You would try not to take too much time, out of all three of you Joel probably needed the shower the most. You would die for Joel, but dude needs all the hot water he could get. 

You grabbed your new pair of clothes and headed for the still steamy bathroom, you sighed as you already felt the tension that stored in your back release a little as you peeled your previous clothes off your body and hopped into the shower. 

As promised the shower didn’t last long, ten minutes at most. Enough to clean yourself and let the hot water relax your nerves. Even when you were going through school and the stress of multiple papers loomed over your head, you seemed to calm down when the water hit you. 

You brushed your teeth after and dried yourself, and after making sure that the floor was dry and that there was still hot water left for Joel you exited the bathroom, dressed in your henley and jeans. Part of you wanted to stay here. To bury Bill and Frank and live here away from the QZ, away from the enormous amounts of clickers and infected. But you couldn’t, there were too many memories here. And you wouldn’t disrespect Frank and Bill and move them, you just wouldn’t. Besides, the wiring on the fence was getting old, it probably had another few years before it would need to be replaced.

When you came back down you could see Ellie walking away from the desk. You didn’t think much of it until you walked by her and saw her jaw drop. 

“Wow!” Ellie exclaimed, “you don’t smell like a dead horse!” You roll your eyes. 

“Haha,” you laughed dryly, “thanks, and here” you said as you tossed her deodorant, she thanked you as she applied it. You were so busy chatting with Ellie that you didn’t notice Joel coming back in, or him looking at you for a moment longer than he knew he should’ve before going upstairs for his turn of the shower. 

By the time he was done you had made dinner  from what was still good in Bill’s fridge, which wasn’t much. All you could really make were a couple of sandwiches, you didn’t even notice him until Ellie did. 

“Well,” Ellie says, “don’t you look pretty! Don’t you think he’s pretty Doc?” 

You turned around to see him, his salted hair slicked back from the water, his skin clear of any grime or sweat, and a new set of clothes adorned him as well. The flannel suited him well, at least it didn’t have any holes in it. You think you saw Frank wear it once or twice, but he didn’t fill it out the way Joel did. But you figured that was for the better. You were so busy checking him out that you didn’t notice him doing the same thing, or the flush that was fighting its way to his face. 

“I’d say that,” you agreed, tearing your eyes away from him, “yeah.” 

“Shut up.” Joel gruffed, trying to hide his embarrassment by tossing another stick of deodorant towards Ellie who tossed it back to him. 

“I must stink if both of you handed me deodorant.” 

“No” 

“Yes.” 

You raise an eyebrow at him as he shrugged. 

“Let’s get going.” He said, “I already packed the truck up with supplies that we’ll need in order to make it to Tommy.” you nodded as you said one final goodbye to Frank and Bill, hoping that wherever they are, that they were as peaceful there as they were here. 

You took the backseat as Ellie and Joel sat up front, choosing to let Ellie’s first car ride be in shotgun. You smiled  as she pressed random things. 

“First time in a car?”

“It’s like a spaceship!” Joel looked tired as she continued to explore various things. 

“No it’s like a piece of shit Chevy S10,” Joel corrected, “but it’ll get us there…I think.” Joel looks over to her a second to see her not paying attention before sighing. “Seat Belts.” You see her look curiously at him as he reaches across her to grab said object and buckled her in. It may be invisible to everyone else, especially himself, but you could see his eyes soften just a tiny bit as he did. You wouldn’t say anything about it, but you knew Joel liked Ellie at least. He sees her as something to protect and that puts a smile on your face, knowing that Joel now has something else to protect. 

And in a way so do you. 

You left the garage and listened to the track that Ellie picked, watching the house fade in the distance knowing that while you’ll never be back there, at least the people there made the impossible possible. And made a home that was lived in and loved in this crazy, fucked up world. 

And life is full of loss

Who knows the cost?

Livin’ in a memory

Of a love that never was

Cause I’ve done everything I know. 

To try and change your mind

And I think I’m gonna love you

For a long, long time. 

TAGLIST

@burninggracesandbridges

#x reader #joel x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller #pedro pascal is daddy #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #bella ramsey #lgbt pride #tlou ep 3 #bill and frank #frank tlou #bill tlou #bill x frank #slow burn #x you #xreader #joel x reader angst #x reader angst #the last of us spoilers #the last of us hbo #tlous hbo #hbo the last of us #hbo #hbo max

[stevie-petey]

episode one: MADMAX

Steve is looking at Nancy so tenderly, and when he removes his sunglasses you see how much his eyes light up when she hits his shoulder and leans in close to him.  “I missed you,” Steve tells her, his voice soft and sensual.  It’s the way he says it that makes you want to run your hands through his hair, be the one in his arms as he kisses your neck and whispers how often he’s thought of you since you’ve been gone. You’ve felt his arms around you before, once. You know how securely he holds on, how his cologne lingers on your clothes long after he’s gone. You miss him, you miss everything. 

Summary: what does steve fear more ? you or the plague ? currently it's you, some guy with an awful mullet stares you down in the parking lot (gross), nancy invites you to a party from your nightmares, and you become an official unlicensed therapist for will. yay for junior year !

Rating: general, slight cursing

Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, descriptions of PTSD (slightly), swearing, and general angst and exhaustion

Words: 5.2k

Before you swing in: hello ! welcome back to the rewrite, hope yall are well :) heres chapter 1 of season 2 !!! so so so excited and ready to dive into this new season. things get a bit darker, feelings get even MORE complicated, and poor reader just really needs to take a fat nap and maybe some reassuring words. shes more angsty this season, so buckle up

-

October 29th, 1984

You originally gave Dustin the phone number to Bookstrordinary in case of any emergencies.

Now, you’re really starting to regret it.

For the fifth time this week, Dustin calls you at work to beg for money. Him and the boys recently started going to an arcade that’s opened up in town and have spent practically every day after school there this year. Sure, you don’t mind loaning your brother a few quarters, but at the rate he’s going he’s gonna drain your next paycheck.

Just as you’re thinking this, the phone rings.

Right on cue.

Alex, your coworker, smirks. “How much do you think he’ll ask for this time?”

“If I’m lucky, only a dollar.”

“Will asked me for three tonight, so I wouldn’t jinx anything.”

You gape at Jonathan, who has started hanging around your job after school just to have something to do. “No fucking way.”

“Way,” he laughs, pointing towards the phone on the counter. “Answer before Dustin sends a drone our way.”

You sigh and pick up the phone, which is on its second round of calling, and put on your best customer service voice. “You’ve reached Bookstrordinary, may I ask who is calling?”

“Don’t play dumb, Y/N.”

“Aw, I’m doing well tonight. Thanks for asking, Dustin.”

“I need five dollars.”

“Ya know, ‘please’ has such a nice ring to it.”

“... if I say please, will you give me the money?”

“No.”

Silence fills the other end. Alex and Jonathan are hunched together, trying to stifle their laughs. You send them a thumbs up, and they give you one back.

“You’re a horrible sister.”

“What!” You scoff at Dustin. “I think you owe me like, at least ten bucks now. Yet you don’t see me complaining.”

A loud groan, then an obnoxious scream. “I promise I’ll clean Mews’ litter box for a week straight if you just give me the money.”

“Tempting, and honestly I’d take you up on that offer, but I already spent my last paycheck on my Halloween costume. You’re outta luck.”

Dustin gasps. “You were gonna say no this whole time? You just wasted like, at least five minutes of my time! I could’ve been digging through the couch for coins by now!”

“Jesus,” you pull the phone away from your face as Dustin continues to shout. Jonathan lets out a loud cackle and Alex just shakes his head. “I can give you some money next week–”

The line cuts off. Dustin has hung up.

What a little shit.

“You remind me why I’m grateful I’m an only child.” Alex says, now walking from behind the counter to begin stacking some books. Technically your shift ended almost thirty minutes ago, but you and Jonathan prefer to hang around for a while. It’s rare to have some time with just the two of you (even if Alex is there as an unfortunate third wheel).

“Glad I can help.” You respond. Once he’s gone, you turn to Jonathan. “And you were right, Dustin indeed wanted more than Will’s measly three bucks.”

He laughs. “Figured as much. The look on your face was genuine disbelief when he asked.”

“Mhm, I’m scared these boys will turn into horrendous teens. The lack of gentlemen in Hawkins these days is astounding.”

“C’mon, I’d say I’m a gentleman. I mean, I’m riding on your bike pegs tonight to keep you safe.” Jonathan says, waving an arm in front of his body as if to present all his gentleman-ness to you.

“Sure, bee.” Although, he has a point. Joyce has the car tonight so she can drive Will to the arcade and Jonathan doesn’t like you biking home in the dark. After what happened last year, none of the Byers are particularly keen on letting their loved ones go off alone at night. So, to ensure your safety, Jonathan has started riding on your bike pegs all the way home.

It’s endearing really, wholly unnecessary, but endearing.

Jonathan flicks your nose. “Who else would be such a gentleman to you? Steve?”

Hearing Steve’s name sends a wave of varying emotions through you. Guilt, shame, remorse, longing. You miss him. You really, really miss him.

“I thought we agreed to stop talking about Steve.” You mumble, now busying yourself with a piece of paper on the counter.

After Will was found last year, you and Steve had gotten really close. He’d spend hours bugging you at work, he’d gotten you such a lovely Christmas gift that still hangs on your wall, and you’d grown close with him in a way you haven’t before with anyone else. He would’ve done anything for you, he cared about you with such genuineness, and you couldn’t handle it.

Summer came and the heat that came with it scared you.

You’d pushed Steve away, severed any connection you had to him. It was easier when you didn’t have to see him every day at school, but ever since junior year started, you’ve been in your own personal hell.

Steve walks past you in the halls without batting an eye. He doesn’t look your way, like the months you spent learning every inch of his wonderfully unique brain and the moles scattered along his face never happened; he doesn’t give you that smile that makes your knees weak. He’s avoided you like the fucking plague, which you can’t blame him for, but it’s only made things more awkward between him, Jonathan, Nancy, and you.

Jonathan sighs. “I’m sorry, bug. I just… he seemed good for you, ya know? I was actually starting to like the guy before you suddenly stopped hanging around him.”

You play with the piece of paper, hoping that if you don’t respond then Jonathan will just drop the subject, but a thought seems to cross his mind.

“Wait a minute. Steve didn’t like, hurt you or anything, right?” You don’t respond again and now he’s starting to get worried. “Y/N, I’m serious. Did he do something to you?”

The irony of the situation is so comical you want to laugh. Here Jonathan is, demanding to know if Steve hurt you and if that’s why you’ve stopped being his friend, when in reality it’d been Jonathan who hurt you. Jonathan, your oldest and dearest friend, is the reason you’re so fucking terrified of letting Steve in. Of falling in love with him.

You’re already in love with Jonathan, you can’t put yourself through any more hurt.

But fuck, you miss Steve. You’d come to rely on him and his obnoxious sense of humor that never failed to make you laugh. The way he so effortlessly filled the room with warmth.

“Relax, bee. He didn’t do anything. I just wanted to focus on Will and the boys more.” You lie through your teeth.

He gives you a funny look. “I know you care about the boys, but you know they’d want you to have some other friends.”

“I have you, that’s all I need.”

It’s all I can afford.

“Bug, I’m worried about you. You’ve all but thrown yourself into school, you work non stop here, and when you finally have some free time you’re spending it researching child psych for Will–”

“Just drop it, Jonathan!” You finally snap at your friend.

He stops, surprised by your outburst. He can see the angry flush in your cheeks now and the slight heavy breathing you do to try and calm yourself down. Jonathan drops his shoulders, defeated. He’s been worried about you ever since junior year started. You’re more withdrawn, you look like you haven’t slept at all, and now you don’t even feel comfortable telling him what’s been bothering you.

All Jonathan knows is that one day you were glowing while telling him a story about Steve and his stupid jokes, then the next day you looked frail and sickly as you told him that Steve was no longer visiting you at work.

Something happened between you two, he’s just not sure what or how to even help.

For once, Jonathan is at a loss.

–

“And then she chased Mike all the way down the street for her money! He got away!” Jonathan finishes his story with a grand flourish, laughing and hitting his steering wheel as if it’s the funniest thing in the world.

You let out a weak laugh, exhausted from the night before. It’s early morning and you’re in the school parking lot, hanging in Jonathan’s car as always, and you feel like utter shit. You stayed up late last night reading this journal you’d found in the school library about acute trauma in children. It had been fascinating and there were some things you thought could apply to Will. Before you knew it, it had been three in the morning and you needed to be up soon for school.

Which leads you to now: slouched in the passenger seat, sunglasses over your eyes to block out the annoying sun, tiredly listening to Jonathan’s recounting of his phone call with Nancy from last night. Apparently they’ve progressed to nightly phone calls now.

Lovely.

Without meaning to, your eyes start to drift shut. The car is the perfect cozy kind of warm and the late October air wraps around you as if to lull you to sleep. Jonathan notices you’ve gone quiet and pokes your cheek.

“If you fell asleep I’ll tell your mom and she’ll put you back on house arrest.”

You slap his hand away. “Don’t do that, then she’ll just ban me from your house.”

“You were up all night researching again, weren’t you.”

“If you have to ask, then that’s probably your answer.”

“Y/N–”

You put a finger up, using your other hand to rub at your temples. A headache is forming and you’re three seconds away from just skipping first period to nap in the car. “We aren’t doing this again. Drop it.”

Jonathan rolls his eyes. “I’m your best friend, it’s my job to worry about you–”

“And it’s my job to tell you to fuck off whenever you’re getting on my nerves–”

Suddenly a loud blue camaro comes speeding into the school parking lot, effectively drowning out whatever you’d been saying to Jonathan. The car revs its engine and almost hits a few students as it jerks its tires and then screeches to a halt, parking right next to you guys.

You and Jonathan look at each other.

“What the fuck?” You look out your window and are greeted with the sight of an attractive blond guy staring at you. His music is blasting so loud you can hear it through Jonathan’s windows.

“Jonathan,” you whisper, getting his attention. “Am I really tired or is there a guy with a god awful mullet staring at me right now?”

“He’s real.”

“Cool.” You continue to stare at the guy, unsure what to do. You’ve never seen him before, there’s no way you’d forget a face like that in Hawkins. He’s attractive, almost unappealingly attractive, and there’s a coldness to his beauty that makes you uncomfortable. He looks dangerous, like he knows how much power his beauty brings him.

The boy winks at you, a lit cigarette dangling from his mouth, and then gets out of the car, slamming his door rather harshly. It’s then that you notice the redhead girl, much younger than him, possibly around Dustin’s age, getting out of the car as well. She slams her own door and doesn’t even spare the guy a glance as she drops her skateboard down and rides towards the middle school across the parking lot.

Meanwhile the boy saunters inside, a lazy pace in his step that also holds immense confidence. He’s cocky, cool and collected, and he takes one last look around, as if to survey his new claimed battleground. You notice a few of your classmates gazing at him with interest, which you don’t really understand. He’s hot, but his attitude alone tells you everything you need to know about him.

Once he’s gone, Jonathan finally speaks. “Who was that guy?”

“No clue,” your eyes linger on the doors he’s just walked through. There’s something off about him. “But I don’t think we want to know… C’mon, if we don’t head in now we’ll be late for our first class.”

–

During your lunch period everyone’s buzzing about some upcoming Halloween party. As you’re walking towards your locker with Jonathan, you notice a few pieces of orange paper being passed around. You don’t pay much attention to them, but when Nancy joins you two she eagerly takes a few from the girl passing them out.

Nancy playfully shoves the papers at you and Jonathan. “You guys are totally coming to this.”

“We are?” You ask, eyeing the flyer wearily. You have nothing against parties, but the thought of being surrounded by a bunch of drunk teenagers in horrible costumes is frankly terrifying to you.

“You sure are, Y/N.”

“But Nancy–”

“‘Come and get sheet faced’.” Jonathan reads aloud. “Yeah, Nance. I think we’ll pass.”

Nancy groans. “I can’t let you guys sit all alone on Halloween. That’s just not acceptable.”

“Actually,” you correct her, annoyed by the assumption, “we have a tradition with the boys. We take them out every year to trick or treat and it’s always been fun. We won’t be ‘alone’.”

“No offense, Y/N, but spending Halloween with a bunch of middle schoolers isn’t much better.”

You make a face and look over at Jonathan for help, but he shrugs. “You gotta admit, it is kinda lame.”

“I can’t believe you’d betray me like this–”

Nancy smiles at this. “See? Plus, I doubt trick or treating with the boys will take all night. You’ll be home by 8:00, and Jonathan will be listening to the Talking Heads and reading Vonnegut or something, while you, my dear Y/N, will be baking a fresh batch of cookies and throwing away all the candy corn you find.”

“Sounds like a nice night.” Jonathan responds, and you nudge your shoulder with his. It does sound like a nice night, one you’re looking forward to.

“I forgive you for your earlier betrayal.”

“Guys!” Nancy stops at her locker now, slight frustration in her voice. “Just… Come on! I mean, who knows? You guys might meet someone and–”

Her words are cut off with a squeal as she’s suddenly lifted in the air and spun around, Steve having snuck up behind her. Nancy now puts all her attention on him, he has his arms wrapped low on her waist and he’s wearing sunglasses inside like some idiot, and your heart hurts. He looks good, too good.

Steve is looking at Nancy so tenderly, and when he removes his sunglasses you see how much his eyes light up when she hits his shoulder and leans in close to him.

“I missed you,” Steve tells her, his voice soft and sensual.

It’s the way he says it that makes you want to run your hands through his hair, be the one in his arms as he kisses your neck and whispers how often he’s thought of you since you’ve been gone. You’ve felt his arms around you before, once. You know how securely he holds on, how his cologne lingers on your clothes long after he’s gone. You miss him, you miss everything.

Steve, as if sensing what you’re thinking, risks a look at you. Your eyes meet his and for a brief second no one else exists anymore. It’s just you and him in the small Hawkins high school hallway, where he’s yours again in a way that’s clouded with “almost” and “not enough”, and you want to tell him how lovely he is and how horrible you feel for hurting him, but then he diverts his gaze and focuses back on Nancy and you’re thrown back into reality.

He isn’t yours. Hell, he isn’t even your friend anymore, and you’re the one to blame.

Once Nancy and Steve start kissing, you share a disgusted look with Jonathan and silently agree to leave.

“Young love, huh?” Jonathan jokes bitterly when you’ve left them behind.

“I hate it.”

And you do.

You’re really starting to hate this whole “love” thing.

–

The only highlight so far this school year has been you and Will growing even closer. When Jonathan told you that Will started seeing the Hawkins Lab people for treatment and to see how he’s been recovering, you pulled Joyce aside later that night to ask if it’d be okay if you spoke with Will yourself. Since everything that happened last year, you’ve only become more interested in psychology, and you’d be lying if you said Will wasn’t an interesting case study.

You told Joyce that you’d been doing your own research, reading journals upon journals, and she made you a deal. You could help Will as long as you also took care of yourself, that you wouldn’t place an even heavier burden upon yourself. Of course you agreed, promising her you wouldn’t, and that’s how your weekly chats with Will began.

Jonathan had been against it at first, telling you that you didn’t have to worry about Will because you already do everything else for the kids. You told him you could handle it, and secretly you liked helping Will because you were able to pour all your anxiety and complex feelings for Steve into research and studying. It was a win-win in your eyes.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Waters had been extremely understanding when you asked for Wednesdays off. After all, you’d been working at Bookstrordinary for almost three years now, so she was quick to make the accommodation.

Now here you are, another Wednesday spent at the Byers’ home. You’re sitting with Will in his bed, the both of you quietly scribbling with his crayons. You’ve learned that he’s more receptive if you draw with him, if you take your time.

“How was Dr. Owens today?”

Will pauses mid-scribble. “Fine.”

“Just ‘fine’? Nothing else?” Your head is down so he doesn’t think you’re studying his reactions, but you keep an eye on him anyways.

“Yeah. I told him about my latest episode.”

“You had another one? Would you like to tell me when?”

Will thinks for a moment, and you tell him that he of course doesn’t have to say anything if he doesn’t want to.

“Last night. I was back in the Upside Down… and there was this… this thing.”

Now you stop drawing. “Like the monster we killed last year?”

“Different,” he shakes his head. “This thing was evil.”

Will’s eyes are darting everywhere around the room, and you can see his growing unease, so you decide to put the topic to rest for now. Clearly the episodes are getting worse, scaring him more, so you shift gears.

“Okay, I believe you. I’m sorry for the episodes, but besides them how have you been feeling? Is school getting any better?” Earlier this month Will had confessed to you about the kids in school calling him “zombie boy” and treating him like a freak. You did your best to comfort him, and once you finished your chat with the boy you’d gone to Joyce to let her know.

Will sighs. “School is… school.”

You reach out and move some hair out of Will’s face. “I’m sorry, little bee. Middle schoolers are idiots, they’ll never understand how much you went through. I mean, I had to face that monster for only about twenty minutes. You had to hide from it for days, so you’re honestly incredibly braver than me.”

This gets a smile out of Will, which you’re relieved by. He’s been quiet lately, more closed off, and you’re worried that with the one year anniversary coming up, his episodes will only get worse.

A knock on the door, and then Jonathan pokes his head in. “Hey, guys. Mind if I join?”

“Actually, I think I should go. Bob’s been begging me for my cookie recipe, so I’ll leave you two alone.” You send a look Will’s way, a you better talk to your brother about this look, and he weakly nods his head.

As you walk past Jonathan out the door, you lean in close to Jonathan and whisper, “he’s struggling at school. Be gentle, kids can be fucking awful.”

He nods and squeezes your hand, silently thanking you, and you close the door behind you. While you want to help Will, make sure he’s adapting well, you also recognize your limits. He’s not your brother, Jonathan is, and you know he’ll be more open with him.

Joyce is in the kitchen with Bob, making some popcorn over the stove. He’s filming her with his ridiculously large camera and you can’t help but smile as you watch them. Joyce looks so happy around the guy, laughing more than she’s laughed in the last five or so years you’ve known her. She deserves this, she deserves a guy like Bob. Sweet, slightly silly, but good.

When Joyce sees you lingering in the doorway, she waves you in. “Hey, honey. Any luck with Will tonight?”

“A bit, he told me some of what’s happening at school. He still seems… off, but at least he was opening up. It’s a good sign.”

Joyce hums, but you can sense that there’s more on her mind. You look around to make sure Bob isn’t near, he’s busy digging through a cabinet to find a clean bowl, so you move closer to the woman and lower your voice. “What did Dr. Owens say this time?”

“Claims we need to just pretend everything is okay, despite the fact that it’s getting worse.”

There’s an edge in Joyce’s voice, so you’re careful with your words. “Well… I think he’s right.”

“You do?” Joyce turns to you, her voice loud with surprise, before she quickly remembers Bob is near and lowers it again. “Why do you think that?”

“I was up late reading a new journal I found about acute trauma in children. It’s been almost a year since Will disappeared, he spent days in complete fear, almost died… I mean, it makes sense that his body is remembering those traumatic effects.”

“So you think we should just leave Will alone, let him suffer through his episodes without any help?” There’s more confusion and fear than anger in Joyce’s voice, and you rest your hand against her arm.

“I know it seems counterintuitive, but the best studies we have all show that we have to let those who suffer from post-traumatic stress adapt at their own pace, through their own ways. They hate feeling pitied, and I have a feeling Will is starting to as well.”

Joyce turns the stove off and shakes her head at you. “You sound like Hop. I thought you hated the guy.”

“I don’t hate him,” you chuckle, now helping the woman peel off the foil and sprinkle some salt onto the popcorn. “He just reminds me too much of my dad, and we all know how that ends.”

“Well if you ask me, I think it’s because you two are so similar.”

You gasp. “How dare you!”

Joyce laughs and the seriousness from the previous conversation dissipates. Bob finds a clean bowl and together you and him pour the fresh popcorn in as Joyce prepares the drinks. They’re having a movie night together, and you want to cry because of how adorable it all is. Joyce deserves this.

“You know you’re welcome to join us tonight, Y/N. It’s Will’s turn to choose the movie.” Joyce tells you, but you politely decline.

“Normally I’d love to, but I should get going. I have some homework and I promised Dustin I’d bake him some Halloween treats.”

“Oh!” Bob turns to you. “Speaking of, you promised you’d give me that recipe of yours!”

You and Joyce share an amused look. “You caught me, I did. I’ll write it down right now and you have to swear that no one else will look at this. Deal?”

Bob nods, ecstatic, and you grab a piece of paper and quickly scribble down all the ingredients he’ll need and how to make the cookies. Joyce watches fondly, and you fill with warmth having pleased her. When you’re done, you hand the paper over to Bob and make him cross his heart, just to be extra sure he won’t reveal all your secrets.

“Scout’s honor!”

“Very good then, soldier.” You salute him, and then pull Joyce into a hug. “I really gotta go now. Can you tell Jonathan I said goodbye?”

“Of course, bike home safe, alright?”

You wink at her. “Scout’s honor.”

Bob lets out a loud cackle and you can’t believe that this guy is real, but Joyce is laughing along with him and you’re pleased she’s found someone as endearing and kind as him.

–

As soon as you get home you throw down your backpack and bunker down at the kitchen table. Your mom isn’t back from work yet and Dustin seems to be off somewhere doing god knows what, so it’s just you and Mews for now.

Mews plops herself on the table next to an essay you’ve been working on and you scratch her head as you work. You get lost in your writing, humming softly to yourself, enjoying this small moment of peace.

You won’t admit this to Jonathan, but he’s right. You’ve been overworking yourself, your body aches and your eyes droop with exhaustion almost every day now. But keeping yourself busy is what’s helping you stay afloat. The more you pile onto yourself, the less time you have to think about Steve and his stupid smile and stupid hair and stupid face.

In the middle of one of your sentences, Dustin flings the front door open and scares you. “Jesus, dude!”

He doesn’t spare you a glance, but when he sees Mews on the table with you he suddenly looks a bit alarmed. “Mews is here?”

“Yeah…? She’s helping me with this english essay.” You respond, confused.

“Huh,” Dustin thinks for a second, but seems to shrug it off. “Anyways, I’m home.”

“I can see that.”

“Are you gonna ask about my day?”

“How was your day, my dear brother.”

Dustin hops onto the table and shimmies his shoulders. “I met a girl.”

“What?” You drop your pencil in shock and Mews scatters, your exclaim having frightened her.

“Don’t act too surprised, geesh.” Your brother rolls his eyes, but then he frowns. “Actually, technically speaking I haven’t met her yet, but–”

“You have a crush?” You’re in shock. In your eyes, Dustin is still a baby, no older than six years old. And yet here is he, thirteen and talking to you about a girl.

“Yes, Y/N. Her name is Max, she has red hair and is new, and she’s totally awesome.”

Red hair? You remember seeing that girl in the parking lot earlier today. “Was she with that weird new guy, the one with a mullet?”

Dustin nods, so you poke him in the stomach and ooh at him. “I saw her this morning, she was prettyyyy.”

He shoves your finger away and blushes, which you find adorable. Dustin’s first ever crush, you can’t believe how old he is now.

“Yeah, she’s pretty, but she’s also just awesome. I think she’s the one with the new high score on Dig Dug.”

“Dig Dug?”

Your brother scoffs. “The arcade game the party always plays? Honestly, do you not listen when I tell you about my days?”

“Alright, fine. If you can remember what I told you I did yesterday, then I’ll apologize for not listening better.”

Dustin closes his mouth, unable to recall a thing.

“Mhm, that’s what I thought.” You flick his hat. “Anyways, since you officially like girls now, I’ve been dying to give you some girl advice.”

“Y/N–” Dustin groans, but you shush him.

“First things first, always be a gentleman. Max does indeed seem cool, but I’m sure she’d appreciate a nice and polite young man like yourself.”

Dustin nods. “Okay, be kind. Got it.”

“Good. Now secondly, we Hendersons are charming people, so just be yourself.”

“Duh,”

“Lastly, if she shows interest, tell her how you feel. Better you’re honest and true about how you feel rather than hide it and sulk.”

Dustin snorts. “Says you.”

You look away from him, slightly hurt. “I don’t know what you mean by that.”

“C’mon, Y/N. When are you gonna tell Jonathan you love him? I mean, everyone knows you do, it’s about time you confess.” Dustin drones on, unaware of your hurt feelings. “And he’s obviously in love with you, you guys are disgusting to be around–”

“He doesn’t love me back.” You whisper, looking down at your paper. You feel pathetic, confessing this to your little brother.

Dustin freezes, now realizing you’ve gone quiet. He can feel your mood darken and he feels like shit for not noticing it sooner. He’s upset you. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I thought he did, I mean the party and I all assumed…”

His words fade off, and you want to crawl into a hole and never come out. It’s embarrassing, you shouldn’t be pitied like this by your brother. “It’s okay, I know what you meant.”

“Y/N–”

You get up from the table and gather your things, shoving them into your backpack. “I’m gonna finish up this essay in my room, then I promise I’ll start baking those marshmallow puffs you like–”

Dustin jumps down from the table and blocks you from leaving the kitchen. “Jonathan is an ass–”

“Language–”

He doesn’t let you interrupt. “You’re cool, he’s stupid, and I’m here for you. Alright? Don’t make me pull a code blue on you.”

You wrap your brother into your arms, something he hadn’t been expecting, and allow yourself a small laugh. “No need for a code blue, I promise. Just, give me like an hour to sulk and then I’ll be as good as new. Okay?”

When you pull away, Dustin eyes you, but understands he won’t win this argument. The two of you handle your emotions the same way: alone, in solitude, away from prying eyes. He knows you just need some time to yourself, but he still feels like a jerk for upsetting you in the first place. “Fine, but if you’re sulking later I’ll flick your nose.”

You flick his nose and then quickly flee to your room, Dustin not far behind you. “Flicked you first!”

“Not fair!”

You slam your bedroom door and giggle as you lock it. Dustin bangs on the door, but you can hear the amusement in his voice. You tell him you’ll be out as soon as you’re done with your essay, and then go and sit down at your desk. Sighing, you dig into your bag and pull out what you need. Without meaning to, you look up and see your Spider-Man poster, your wonderful Christmas gift from Steve, hanging in front of you.

The small joy you’d been feeling vanishes.

The poster stares back at you, you can almost hear it calling you a pathetic coward, and you feel guilt claw at your throat. You close your eyes, remembering the cold from that winter day, and you can almost smell the cologne Steve had been wearing when you’d thrown yourself into his warmth. Sometimes, if you sit still enough, you think you can feel the ghost of his embrace.

You open your eyes.

Steve isn’t here.

Of course he isn’t here.

You exhale, feeling the familiar ache and exhaustion within you; junior year is looking quite grim.

-

⌑ series masterlist

⌑ if you would like to be added/removed from my taglist, just let me know :)

⌑  taglist: @siriuslysmoking @sheisjoeschateau @myeclispedsun @innercreationflower @juhdoche @frostandflamesfanfic @goosy-goose @quinnsadilla @munsons-queen @stefansring @rice-elephant @bex22109 @bitchkeery

#steve harrington x henderson!reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #stranger things #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things rewrite #slowburn #angst #wtlws #m's writing #steve: and i took that personally #reader: :( #bless them

[goldenchunkycat]

Certain things can't be overcome, you just have to learn how to live with it...

- Pairing: Peeta Mellark x Therapist!Reader - Summary: Even if he loves you, even if you love him, her memory won't let you have a happy ending.

-

Warnings: Mention of trauma, PTSD, requited love but unrequited love too ? it's complicated, hurt and comfort ? -

A/N: I just finished watching Hunger Games and boyyy, Peeta deserved better. Like, fight me idc, he's the sweetest ever, must protect. Feedback and comments are appreciated ♡

"What do you remember, Peeta ?"

"Blood. Screams. Lots of screams."

"What period of your life are you talking about?"

"My teenage years? The games, I think. There was a lot of death. S-so much death…"

"It's okay Peeta, you're safe now."

"Am I..?"

"Of course you are. Look around you. Tell me three things that you can see."

"You. A vase and...a cat."

"Three things that you can hear."

"Your voice, the birds and a kettle."

"You're doing good Peeta. Now three things that you can smell ?"

"Your fragrance, bread and lavender."

"Excellent. See ? There's nothing here which can harm you. Well except for Mittens but I swear that he's a good companion. Hold on I'll be back in a few seconds."

Peeta watched you get up from your seat and walk to the kitchen, a smile on your face. He loved to see you smile. You were so pretty when you smiled.

"Peeta ! Would you like some tea ?"

The boy smiled to himself and answered "Yes !" before taking a look at his surroundings, noticing once again the cozy decorations which made your house look cozy. He has been there so many time that he could tell what and where were the objects in the room with his eyes closed.

"Here. I brought us some of the bread that you gave me. What do you think about Camomille tea ?"

"Sounds perfect, thank you."

A comfortable silence took over the room, the sound of water filling glasses and birds singing outside adding to the serenity Peeta felt. He wasn't used to feeling like this. So…peaceful. He only felt that way when he was in this room. No. When he was with you. But every time he questioned his feelings for you, a name kept coming to his mind.

"Katniss."

"Yeah ? What can you tell me about her ?" you got comfortable in your seat, crossing you legs and taking a sip of your tea.

"She was a mutt- No. She was my first love. She's the… the Mockingjay. Katniss Everdeen, tribute of District Twelve." Peeta murmured, his gaze growing distant as the words left his mouth. And yet, he continued to speak, trying to make an effort but… "She is the reason for the war. The reason why- why all those people- Argh!" the young man shouted and stood up, grabbing his hair and walking at an increasing pace around the room. "My name is Peeta Mellark and I'm from District 12. My name is…"

"Peeta Mellark and you're a baker in Senew."

"Katniss-"

"Left to live her life in the forest."

"You're lying!" he approached you with long strides, pointing an accusing finger at your face.

You put your cup down and sat up straight, shrinking into your seat so that Peeta wouldn't perceive you as a threat. "No Peeta. I am not. All of this. What they said, what they did to you, it's all gone." you added in a soft voice, in an effort to get him through this post-traumatic episode as calmly as possible.

"Is- is it..?" he asked with a quivering voice, falling on his knee just in front of you.

You reached out to him, hesitated, and then brought your hand back to you. He was your patient, he needed a professional, not physical affection. "It's all gone. You've lived here since the end of the rebellion, you said you always wanted to be a baker who could help anyone in need. Everyone loves your food, people come from everywhere to get a piece of cake."

"Yeah, I always wanted to be a baker…" he whispered. He inhaled deeply, trying to regulate his breathing, but judging by the trembling of his hands you knew he was about to give in. "Why… Why can't I just overcome it ? All of this, the nightmares, the screams, the memories. Her…" he sobbed, resting his head on your legs as he hid his face. He didn't want you to see him in such a pitiful state.

"Certain things can't be overcome, you just have to learn how to live with it. You do things that you like, meet people that you love, eat what you enjoy the most. You live your daily life and hope that the pain will go away, you change your mind and try to not think about the things that you lost. You learn everything again. Yo take baby step."

"Did you- did you do all of this..?"

"Yes, yes I did…" your voice broke a little but you tried to keep a strong exterior for Peeta, you had to be the one to console him, not the other way around. "We all suffered from what happened two years ago. We all have lost loved ones. Sometimes their presence lingers in the air. You think you hear them, you hear them laugh. But it's just a memory, something your mind made up to make you feel better…"

"I listen to the laughs of someone that I like. I watch him smile. He's just right there in front of me, it's enough. I remember that I'm not alone, I'm not the only one who suffered, we all are here for each other, to help, protect and provide."

"Sometimes I- I hear a laugh. A woman's laugh. I see the glimpse of her smile and I feel the stroke of her hands on my hair. And- It feels so real."

"Does it ?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't it just a memory ?"

"No. It's real. You're real."

"Peeta..."

"I'm so sorry, you deserve so much better than a guy with a bunch of traumas who can't forget about his first love."

"You-" you burst into tears. How could you be the therapist here when this man, this precious, kind and lovable man was degrading himself for others mistakes. When the man that you secretly loved was telling you that his heart could never truly belongs to you ? "You are so much more, Peeta, so much more."

#hunger games #peeta mellark #peeta x reader #peeta mellark x reader #hunger games imagine #peeta mellark imagine #x reader #angst #the hunger games

[sjhhemmings]

Evermore pt. 4

greg ‘mouse’ gerwitz x cassie voight OC

A/N: so there's going to be a little time jump to season 3 episode 11 of Chicago Fire where canonically Sylvie and Peter get kidnapped, Im thinking it’s still in about season 1 of PD though. I'm gonna change it a little bit so I hope it doesn't get too confusing...i'm going to try and stay as canon as possible but we'll see. Also don’t hate me for the timeline because I’m lowkey just as confused. (also idk why the spacing is weird, but i gave up trying to fix it.)

warnings: kidnapping, slight ptsd, swearing, violence.

word count: 4920

wattpad: sjhhoran

It's now been 3 months since Cassie's father, Hank Voight, has been out of prison.

Things at the firehouse have finally started to calm down, except for the fact that Gabby Dawson has now become a firefighter leaving Cassie on ambulance 61 with either Chout or McAuley until they find a replacement.

Despite Gabby's multiple attempts to assure Cassie it wasn't her fault that Gabby left, Cassie doesn't really believe it. However, Cassie is still proud of Gabby for pursuing her dreams either way. The talk they had a few weeks ago to clear the air and any hard feelings was...rough. To say the least.

Jay also took the job in intelligence under Cassie’s father so that was exciting.

Cassie is still shocked that Gabby didn't want to date Jay, he's a great guy. Not that Cassie would ever go for him, she's still his #1 wingman. Or woman. Wing-woman.

"Alright, everyone settle down. This is Sylvie Brett, she will be the new paramedic under Cassie." Boden announces at the morning briefing. Cassie sent a small wave to the new paramedic from where she was standing at the back of the room.

"Cassie is your PIC, anything you say or do on the job must go through her. Understand?"

"Yes sir." Sylvie said at the front of the room next to Chief Boden.

"Okay. That's all. Go out there, do your jobs and do ‘em good." Boden then said leaving the room before everyone else.

"Hi," Cassie said now walking over to her new partner.

"Hey, it's so nice to meet you, i've heard a lot." Sylvie said shaking the other paramedics hand.

"Thanks, it's nice to meet you too. I'm gonna say we should head over to the ambo to check inventory, is there anything you want to let me know before we start?" Cassie asks making Sylvie give her a questionable look.

"Yeah that sounds good. Would you be able to clarify what you mean by-"

"Ah, sorry. It's a force of habit with the rotators. I've been stuck with Chout for the last week and he's very...excited…like at all times. Then there was McAuley who was literally the embodiment of Debby Downer, I don't know I guess I was just asking if you were going to have some odd, personality thing that I would have to get used to." Cassie said chuckling as they make their way to the apparatus.

"Okay yeah that makes sense. Um I hope I don't have any personality thing, but if I do please feel free to let me know." Sylvie said chuckling nervously.

Smiling at Sylvie's innocence Cassie felt like they were going to be good partners.

"No complaints so far, I like you Brett."

After a few shifts of working together, Cassie and Brett felt like they fell into a pretty nice rhythm. It felt natural how well they communicated and worked together.

At the end of the last shift however, Cassie was visited by a victim's family member. A patient she had treated when she briefly worked with Peter Mills before he eventually left to work at his family's restaurant. The patient had passed before they arrived at the hospital, and the father was more than upset with Mills. Something that Cassie had no control over.

"I need to speak with you," Cassie heard the all too familiar voice of Anthony Lullo called out.

The memory of meeting with Peter and Chief flashed through Cassie's brain where Peter had convinced both of them that Anthony wouldn't be a problem anymore.

"Looking back I'm glad that I didn't file a police report on him. He's in deep grief, and he deserves a pass on this." Peter's voice flashed through Cassie's mind.

Deserved a pass her ass, but she wasn't going to undermine Peter. He trusted his gut, and she trusted him. So, here they were.

"Mr. Lullo, please, I'm sorry for what happened but I really need to get home." Cassie said as she walked past him to her car.

"You're going to regret that." Is all Mr. Lullo responded with before leaving.

"Hey Chief, I just wanted to let you know that Anthony Lullo made another visit to the firehouse after last shift. He said he needed to speak with me and when I continued walking saying I need to get to home he mumbled something under his breath. I don't really know what he said, but just thought you would like to know." Cassie said making a pit stop to Boden's office who gave her a reassuring nod before she left.

"Who's Anthony Lullo?" Sylvie asked when her and Cassie were doing inventory for the ambulance.

"How do you know who that is?" Cassie asked confused.

"He approached me when I was coming into work today, told me to tell you that you need to talk to him. I don't know, I was just confused." Sylvie said defensively not really trying to get on Cassie's bad side already.

Taking a deep breath Cassie looked at Sylvie.

"Anthony Lullo was a patient's father that ended up coding before we made it to the hospital. I haven't seen him in a few weeks but it was starting to become harassment with how much he was coming around the firehouse. He ended up threatening my old partner, Peter Mills. It was this whole situation. I don't know why he's back though." Cassie admitted making Sylvie nod her head in understanding.

A silence fell through the girls as they finished looking through the medications in the ambulance before a call came through the intercom.

"Ambulance 61. Injuries from a fall. 815 South Nebraska."

"That's around the corner," Cassie said as they hopped out from the back.

"Can I drive?" Sylvie asked making Cassie chuckle.

"Sure."

Pulling up to the scene, Cassie and Sylvie immediately jump out looking for the victim. When they finally found him on the side of the street Cassie looked at Sylvie.

"Where'd he fall from?" Cassie asked as she looked at their surroundings, no visible places for a fall.

"You fell, sir?" Sylvie asked as she was putting her gloves on.

"My legs, my legs!" The victim screamed.

"Okay, can you take some deep breaths for me?" Sylvie asked as she began examining him.

Cassie still looking around as to what could've caused this injury, she saw a dump truck down the road. Uncovering blanket from the man's legs she sighed.

"He didn't fall. He was run over." She said agitatedly getting up and calling into her radio.

Once they finished doing what they could, they strapped the now unconscious patient onto the gurney

"He passed out from the blood loss. Let's get him to Chicago Med." Cassie said as they were working on getting him into the ambulance.

Quickly grabbing both the girl’s attention, a car pulled into the alley blocking in the ambulance.

"Who's that?" Sylvie asked with Cassie immediately recognizing the car.

*6 hours later*

"Halstead. Thanks for coming. Nice to have somebody we could trust on this." Matt says greeting the detective.

"Absolutely. Still no word from your paramedics?"

"No."

"Dumb question, anybody try their cells?"

"Yeah. No answer."

Once the pair find their way to the ambulance Jay immediately starts getting suspicious.

"Were they dispatched to this location?" He asks, heart dropping at the realization.

"Yeah."

"This could've been a set up." He said turning around and immediately seeing the hula dancer on the dashboard of the ambulance. The one he got as a gift for Cassie.

"What the hell happened here..." He mutters.

*6 hours earlier.*

"Hey, guys, we got a medical emergency here. We're gonna need you to move the vehicle." Cassie announces at the men who just stepped out of their car.

"Hands in the air. Keep your mouths shut." One of the two say as they both raise their guns at the paramedics.

"Woah." Sylvie mutters earning a glance from Cassie.

"Turn around!" One of them shouts making the other instantly yell at him.

"Keep it down! Now turn around put your hands behind your back." He says more quietly turning Cassie roughly.

"This guy needs to get to the hospital!" Sylvie yells getting another glance from Cassie.

"Brett, Brett. Hey don't hurt her please." Cassie says as they make their way to the car away from the patient.

"What is this?!" Sylvie shrieks.

"This doesn't have to be messy, just do what we say." One of them says as they throw the girls into the car.

"Please, let her go. I'm the one that he wants!" Cassie yells.

"He? Who's he?" One of them says with a smirk slamming the door in their faces.

"Where are you taking us?" Cassie asks as one of the men starts patting her down in the backseat.

"Shut up!" The man says as he gets a little too grope-y.

"Where's your phone, hun?" The driver asks as he reaches over for Sylvie in the front seat.

"Left hand jacket pocket." Shes says quietly as he grabs it and chucks it out the window.

"God, why did I have to be stuck with the grabby one." Cassie says looking at the man with a gun to her head.

As he pushed it farther into her temple she winced at the familiar feeling.

"Look, Jason Lullo sustained fatal injuries long before we arrived at the scene!" Cassie says earning an eye roll from the driver.

"Don't know what you're talking about. Just keep quiet now." He says as he continues driving recklessly.

"You gonna kill us?" Cassie quietly asked as she looked the man in the eye through the rear view mirror.

"You know everything is that it?" He asks with a smirk.

"Brett." Cassie quietly says as she looks out the window.

"Quiet!" The man with her said as he shoved the gun farther into her head.

"Brett, brace yourself." Cassie says before head butting the gun out of the man's hand and kneeing him in the face. Quickly kicking him in the groin after, Cassie moved over in the seat she wasn't buckled into and kicked the driver in the side of the head. Keeping her foot against his throat, this caused the driver to spin the wheel uncontrollably, inevitably crashing into a random scrap yard and making contact with a trailer trapping them inside.

*6 hours later*

Eventually finding the car, Jay and Cruz immediately get out to check it out. The thoughts running through Jay's head have him trembling more than he ever has on any case he’s worked before.

"Hey, this is Detective Halstead of intelligence, I'm gonna need you to run an Illinois passenger tag." Jay says into his phone watching Cruz check the car.

"Halstead...We got nothing. Car's empty. Looks like everyone made it out." Cruz says making his way back to the Detective.

"This happened hours ago. If Lullo's got them, they're dead!" Cruz says spinning out.

"Don't assume anything." Jay says trying to cover up his anxiety so he doesn't freak Cruz out any more.

"The hematoma's recollecting!" Cassie says looking at the driver's wounds.

"I thought you fixed him!" The other man says pointing a gun at the two.

"He needs medical attention." Sylvie says with attitude.

"Isn't that your job!?"

"Hey, we're paramedics, not doctors. You need to get him to an ER now." Cassie shouts back.

"This is your fault anyway, with that smart-ass stunt. Fix him, or i'll put a bullet in your head." The man says pointing the gun at Cassie again.

"This lump on your buddy's neck is due to internal bleeding. As it grows it presses on his trachea and that's what's causing the difficulty in breathing. It's only going to get worse!" Cassie says back to the man.

"So cut it open again!"

"That's only a temporary fix!" Sylvie now says butting herself into the conversation.

"Look. He's going to die unless we get this bleed tied off. We need to get to the hospital." Cassie says to the gunman.

"Might as well waltz into a police station!" The gunman says turning away from them.

"No hospitals." The driver on the make shift table mutters.

As his phone starts ringing he hands it to the other gunman.

"Don't answer it. Not if we're giving him bad news." He says obviously in pain.

"C-can't you guys tie off the bleed?" The very stressed out gunman asks.

"No," Sylvie says but not before Cassie says maybe.

"What? Cassie that's surgery."

"Look, if we do this, will you let us go?" Cassie asks looking at the guy.

"Okay. Deal." The gunman says walking off as he answers the second phone call.

"So this is what we think Cassie and Brett were in?" Gabby says looking worriedly at the car Cruz and Jay found.

"Yeah." Matt says sorrowfully as he opens the very, very, torn up door.

"Jay." She says as Detective Halstead made his way over to where she was standing.

"Gabby." He greets back.

"We gotta find them." She says looking at Halstead.

"We're uh, we're trying." He says almost breaking.

"Guys, I got some blood here!" Severide yells out pointing at the driver seat.

"Okay, at least one occupant is injured. Maybe they didn't get too far.” Jay says taking a step back to think.

“Okay, come here, everyone. Now!" Jay yells gesturing at the surrounding cops and firefighters.

"I want a tight perimeter, I want a K-9 unit, and I want a door to door search of the entire neighborhood. If you see anything that you think might be out of place, I want to hear about it." He says sending them off to their assigned tasks.

"Jay." Gabby says approaching him again.

"Hm?"

"She's my friend too. We'll find her." She says squeezing his shoulder reassuringly getting a tight lipped nod in return.

"Knife." Cassie says taking the blade from Sylvie and pressing it to the driver's neck.

Quickly pulling a gun on her she takes a step back.

"Hey! If you want me to do this, set the gun down now." She shouts a little startled.

As the other gunman takes the gun from the driver's hand, he sets it on a nearby surface.

"Okay. This is going to hurt, a lot. But I'm gonna do it fast. Kay?" Cassie asks getting a nod.

As Cassie made the incision on the driver's neck, she quickly turns around to set the blade down and grab something to use as a clamp.

"Hey, hey, that was the easy part okay?" Cassie says coming back and looking at the incision as he passed out from the pain.

"Hey, hey! What the hell did you guys do, what happened to him!?" The gunman yelled earning glares from both the paramedics.

"He passed out from the pain." Sylvie said now looking back down at the patient.

"Clamp it right here." Sylvie said looking at Cassie as she pointed to his carotid artery.

"You do realize what that will do right?" Cassie whispers with wide eyes.

Glancing down at the bloody table, Sylvie wrote 'Let him die.' in the man's blood.

After deliberating for a few seconds, Cassie shakes her head no and clamps the bleed. Looking back at Brett who scribbled out the words, Cassie gave her a specific look.

"Why so quiet?" The gunman asked.

"I uh, I'm clamping it off now." Cassie says as she took the blade out of the exacto knife they had and handed it to Brett.

"Okay, we're going to need to find someone to suture him up but he should be fine. Cassie says stepping away.

"You. Come here." The gunman says grabbing Brett's arm and taking her across the room.

"Hey! Wait! We had a deal, I need her!" Cassie says yelling at the man.

"I need to make sure he's okay first." The gunman says as he zip ties Brett's hands together.

As the man starts waking up, Cassie finishes putting some gauze his wound.

"See? All good." Cassie says looking at him.

"We'll see." The gunman says.

"The deal was, we fix him up and you let us leave!" Sylvie yells. Loud enough for Detective Halstead who's outside the door to hear. Something they're unaware of.

"I know what the deal was!" The man yells back.

"We gotta go now and the doors bolted, can you guys get us in!?" Jay yells at Casey who is already radioing for Severide.

"You said you'd rein in your partner, so how about it?" Brett yells as she secretly cuts the zip tie off her hands.

"Will you shut up!" He yells as he gets ahold of Cassie and holds a gun to her head.

"I knew we couldn't trust you two." Sylvie mutters as she finishes getting the zip tie off her hands.

"Drop the gun." Sylvie says catching the driver's , the gunman's, and Cassie's attention with the driver's gun in her hands.

"I said drop it!"

With a nod from the driver, the gunman shoots at Sylvie but not before Cassie moves his arm out of the way so the bullet catches the floor. As he fights back and fires again, Cassie is still holding his arm so his aim is off.

With his other arm that had a hold of Cassie, he lets her go to elbow her in the nose. Once he drops his elbow, Cassie punches the guy in the face. She then knocked him on his ass after he catches a kick in the balls.

As Cassie gets away to grab Brett, he continues firing at the paramedics.

Fleeing into another room and locking the door, Sylvie looks around to see that they're trapped.

"Shit." She mutters as Cassie blocks her from the bullets flying through the door.

"Stay behind me." Cassie says as she grabbed a metal pipe, preparing for when he breaks into the room.

Once he does the door flies off the hinges, and all of their attention's turn to the next sound.

"Chicago PD! Don't move, drop your weapon! Do it now!" Jay yells as they charge into the warehouse.

Watching as the gunman put his hands up surrenderence, Jay continues making his way to the gunman.

"Put your weapon down, get down on the ground. Now! Hands up behind your head!"

"Voight! Brett!" Casey yells as the girls make their way back to the other side of the door.

"We were in here." Sylvie says making her way through the door first, Cassie quickly following behind as she dropped the pipe and clutched her nose up. Probably broken.

"Anyone hurt?" Casey asks.

"Not me, Cassie got an elbow to the face though." Sylvie says breathing heavily.

"Sylvie!" Cruz says running up to her and pulling her into a big hug.

"Cassie," Jay says softly looking at his best friend once he got cuffs on the bad guy.

Basically falling into Jay's arms, Cassie quickly forgot about her nose.

"Hey, hey, hey, you're okay. Shh, you're okay." Jay said brushing his hand through the back of her hair as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Hey Cass." Gabby said making her way over to the girl.

As she pulled away from Jay's chest, she didn't leave his grasp as his hand still rested on her hip.

"Hey," she said pretty nasally as the Gabby pulled her into a hug of her own.

"Some pretty good partner bonding, huh?" Gabby asked making her chuckle.

"I'm glad you're okay." Casey finally says patting her on the back.

"Thank you, guys." Cassie said turning back to Jay.

"You need to go to the hospital." He said looking at her eyes that are already turning black and blue, along with her swollen nose.

"What? You calling this ugly?" She asked teasingly as they started walking out of the warehouse.

"No, no, just. Colorful?"

Playfully hitting him in the chest with a shocked expression, Jay quickly told another cop to take the perp in to the station and that he was going to go to the hospital with Cassie.

"So, your nose is pretty broken. If you look here, there's a slight fracture. We're gonna tape some gauze around it. Make sure you keep it on for the next 12 hours and rewrap it every 8-12 hours, for the next 48. It should heal in no time, make sure you ice it and take some pain meds." Doctor Rhodes explained to both Jay and Cassie in the trauma room.

"So i'm good to go?" She asked a little impatiently.

"Uh, yes. Maggie is getting your discharge papers now, but I do want to take a look at this hand." He said lightly grabbing her hand and examining her swollen knuckles. Sending butterflies through her stomach too.

"Oh, no, it's fine. I just ice it with pain meds and the swelling usually goes down within 24." Cassie said smiling and making a fist and opening her palm a few times in a row.

"Hm. Okay," Connor said sighing and looking between Cassie and Jay. "I'll get those papers to you. It's nice to see you're okay Cassie. Really." He finished with a warm smile and walking out of the room.

Jay quickly looked at Cassie's blushing face and starts laughing.

"You like him!" Jay teased making her blush harder.

"I do not!" She yelled back hitting him lightly.

"No, no, you like him like him, don't you?" Jay continued earning an eye roll.

"Okay so what if I do. I see him when I bring patients in sometimes...drop it." She said looking away.

"Okayyy." Jay said all sing-song-y making her roll her eyes again.

"Knock knock." her father said walking into the room.

"Hey, thanks for staying with her but you can leave now. Brett is down at the station but i'm gonna need you to question this Anthony Lullo when Cassie gets down there." He said looking at Jay earning a nod.

"I'll see you later." Jay said with a tight lipped smile as he walked out.

"You okay?" Voight asked making her nod.

"Yeah, all good. Fractured my nose, but I think I did the same to him plus some manhood damage." Cassie said making them both chuckle.

“I apologize for not being here sooner. Alvin and I were picking up the guys from the warehouse and finding Lullo. I have a question for you though.”

“What is it?” Cassie asked.

“How about you come stay with me for the next few weeks. You know, until this whole thing blows over and we know you’re safe.”

“What? You’re kidding right?” Cassie said laughing at his offer.

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” Hank asks crossing his arms over his chest.

“Thanks, but no thanks.” Cassie says hopping off the trauma bed and grabbing her things.

“Look, you thought this thing ended what, three? four weeks ago? Then look at what happened today. Just until it blows over? Okay?”

Without saying anything Cassie just looks at her father and stares.

“Okay?” He asks again.

“No, not okay. Jay literally lives across the hall from me. If anything happens, I’ll be fine. I know self defensive, I can hold my own.” Cassie says defensively walking out of the trauma room.

Signing the discharge papers at the nurses desk, Cassie walked out of the hospital with Voight quick to follow.

“Can you please just listen to me on this?” Voight asked opening the passenger side door for Cassie.

“No.” Cassie then said slamming it once she got in.

“I’m gonna go downstairs with Alvin, I’ll meet you guys upstairs with Jay and Anthony. You and Sylvie will be on the other side of the mirror.” Hank said kissing Cassie’s temple as they both walked into the 21st.

“Who’s downstairs?” Cassie asked knowing what he’s going to do.

“Guys who like holding female paramedics hostage in a warehouse.” He said walking off.

“Cassie. Nice to see you again.” Trudy said greeting Cassie.

“Hey sarge. So since i’m a civilian now aren’t you supposed to have someone walk me to the interrogation room?” Cassie teased once she got to the sergeant’s desk.

Sighing, Trudy removed her reading glasses and looked at the girl.

“That was supposed to be your father’s job. I’ll do it though. Yo chump! Watch the desk until I get back.” Trudy says coming around and showing Cassie to a room she knew all too well.

“We have numerous witnesses saying they saw you make a serious threat against Peter Mills. Then showed up again to talk to Cassie Voight.” Cassie heard Jay say once she walked on the other side of the glass.

“My son was dead. I was upset.” says Anthony.

“Yeah, that certainly squares with the eyewitness statements. ‘Mr. Lullo was livid.’ , ‘Full of rage.’ , ‘Frothing at the mouth.’” Jay finally said setting the paper down in front of Lullo.

“Look, I went over there and I apologized to Peter Mills, and he accepted my apology. He’s a good kid.”

“But what about the part where you visited Cassie Voight? Multiple times, even after Peter Mills had stopped working at Firehouse 51.” Jay asked.

“I don’t understand what’s going on here. I thought you caught the men that took those paramedics?”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Jay said smiling at the man.

“Cassidy ignored my invitation to talk. Nothing happened since.” Lullo says sitting back into his chair.

“But why did you want to talk Cassie? I thought your issue was with Mills?” Jay asked trying to agitate him.

“Yes, but Cassie knew more.” Lullo muttered.

“What do you mean Cassie knew more?” Jay pressed.

“Nothing.”

“Oh c’mon Anthony. What did Cassie know?” Jay asked trying to poke the bear further.

“Cassie knew how slow she drove killing my son. Cassie knows that she is the cause of his death.” He admitted

“Your son was already dead by the time we got to the scene. We just prolonged how long it was before the inevitable happened, which was his heart stopping due to blood loss.” Cassie yelled as she bursted into the interrogation room, startling both Jay and Lullo.

“I don’t think she’s allowed in here detective.” Lullo said looking at Jay.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”Jay said covering for Cassie.

“Your son died due to his injuries. There was nothing we could do, but you need someone to blame. Is that it? Pointing a finger at someone that’s not you, or your kid?” Cassie asked trying to piss the man off.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lullo said chuckling and looking away.

“I think I do. Because if I didn’t, you wouldn’t be deflecting right now. If I didn’t you would still be pretending that you’re content with the fact it wasn’t one person’s fault that your kids dead.” Cassie said matter of factly.

When she didn’t get a response she scoffed.

“So you’re okay with that? That no one killed your son, and it was just his injuries? Oh c’mon. You need someone to blame. To fill your urge and get revenge. That someone killed him and they need to pay. Right?” Cassie asked.

“You killed him! If anyone killed my son it was that bitch! She was the one driving!” Lullo yelled surprising everyone.

“Your son was already dead before we even arrived at the hospital! It had absolutely nothing to do with my driving, and everything to do with the fatal injuries he sustained.” Cassie yelled back at the man not knowing how many times she could repeat herself over this matter.

“You all say that, but if you drove faster, he would’ve made it to the hospital, and he would’ve lived!” Anthony said standing and pointing at Cassie.

“Is that why you stalked me then? It was never about Mills was it? It was about the fact that I didn’t drive fast enough. So you stalked and harassed me, then hired someone to take me out?” Cassie pressed causing him to basically fume from the ears.

“Yes! You deserved to know what it was like to ride half alive while the person who was supposed to be helping you couldn’t care less about getting you help!” Lullo yelled.

“So you ordered a hit on me?” Cassie asked again. Waiting for the confession.

“Yes!” He seethed earning a content smile from Cassie.

“Jay, I believe you can handle this from here.” Cassie said walking out of the room.

Later on once they officially arrested Lullo and everyone was gathered in the bullpen, Cassie decided to stay behind and talk to her father.

“Hey, we wouldn’t have gotten him if you didn’t intervene. Good job, Cass.” Jay said patting her on the back.

“Jay, Cassie, my office.” Hank announced earning a confused look from the both of them.

“Uh oh, principal’s daughter called to his office?” Antonio joked getting an eye roll in return.

“I watched what happened.” Hank said as they shut the door.

“What do you mean?” Cassie asked confused.

“I mean I saw you get the confession from Lullo. I want you to know, I get that you didn’t like being a patrolmen. But, when I give you this offer you need to think about it from a detective’s perspective. You have all the training, you would even be able to start tomorrow. You have the balls. We need you. Cassidy, do you want to join intelligence?” Hank asked making her jaw drop.

tagging: @rockyhayzkid

#one chicago #chicago fire #chicago med #chicago fire oneshot #chicago pd series #chicago pd fanfic #chicago fire imagine #chicago fire fan fiction #matt casey chicago fire #connor rhodes chicago med #chicago #chicago pd x oc #chicago pd one shot #chicago pd #mouse x reader #greg mouse gerwitz #connor rhodes one shot #cassie voight #hank voight daughter #hank voight #jay halstead bff

[luxaryllis]

Hi, there! I would request a hurt/comfort fic in which Leona’s fem! s/o suddenly faints after a traumatizing memory of his Overblot episode. And when she wakes up, she tearfully tells him of her fear of losing him a second time. How will he react? Angst with a happy ending, please! Thanks a bunch!

Remembering a Traumatizing Memory of His Overblot w/ Leona Kingscholar

Note: This took so long to get back to, I’m so sorry. For some reason, I couldn’t find this ask on my phone Tumblr, so I have to write this on my laptop.

Anyway, this is probably my first time doing an actual romantic fic, so please excuse anything wrong, or tell me and I’ll try to fix it.

For plot reasons, I will make Reader NOT MC; so Reader is already a student in NRC before MC. The year Reader is in is up to you, but it’s preferable if they were a third year mostly because Leona is 20 canonically.

WARNING/S: Chapter 2 Spoiler/s, Possible OOC, Reader identifies as female and uses female pronouns, Reader has an established relationship with Leona, Reader is NOT MC, Mentions of overblot, Reader possibly has PTSD, Contains Angst, Angst to Comfort, Probably a bit bad (I'm bad at romance sorry-), Mentions of death (no one actually dies dw-), One curse word

Anyway, let’s get to it!

------

Leona growls at the Savanaclaw students, who were all sweating and panting (some were on the ground, possibly fainted from exhaustion).

“Grrr, you’re all not doing good enough. How do you think we’ll be able to win the Magift tournament against RSA?!”

One of the Savanaclaw students, a jackal beastman, speaks up, wiping some sweat of their face, “Dorm Leader Leona, we’re all just so tired. A bunch of us stayed up last night studying for the exams... we’ll do better, I swear!”

Leona clicks his tounge, "Tch. You better. If we lose to that lizard's dorm, I swear, I will punt you to the next dimension."

A resounding, "Yes Dorm Leader" was heard from the other students.

From the stands, overhearing the conversation, [Name] frowns, worry bubbling up in her gut.

---

[Name] enters the Savanaclaw lounge, not expecting to see her boyfriend growling at his juniors, in an attack stance.

"What is going on?!"

[Name] shouts, concern and sloght fear being detected in her voice.

At the sound of her voice the entirety of Savanaclaw looked at her. Everyone except Leona were staring at her like she was their saviour and last hope. Leona, however, looked at her and stiffens, his green eyes narrowing.

"[Name], stay out of this", 'please' her boyfriend's eyes pleaded, but everything else just screamed hostility.

However, the woman stood her ground.

"No. Leona, tell me. Please just tell me. What is going on here? You've been acting out of it recently."

[Name] does her best to stay calm and neutral, slowly approaching Leona as a few students decide to book it and leave the room.

Leona presses his lips together, breathing heavily. He releases his stance when everyone else finally leaves. His shoulders were tense, which normally isn't such a usual sight on the prince. After a while of silence and a slight staring contest between the couple, Leona sighs heavily.

"Just stay out of it. It's like they all just got so puny all of a sudden. It just HAD to be when the selection for spelldrive players would be right around the corner."

Leona's voice was tight and frustrated, as if he was holding back on snapping at his girlfriend. Which, he definitely was; he may be feeling really annoyed right now, but he wasn't going to be showing any sign of disrespect to his woman.

[Name] sighs and tries to reason and calm Leona down. She does understand where he's coming from, after all. However, her gut feelings tell her something bad might happen, so she tries choosing her words carefully.

"Calm down. School's been very hectic at the moment as well. They want to win the tournament against RSA just as much as you do. Just give them some time, be patient. They'll come around soon enough-"

"'Soon enough' won't cut it! They have to come around NOW! At this point, Savanclaw's lost all it's glory. All those wins and recognition go to th at lizard in Diasomnia. We have to be able to take 'em all down."

Leona cuts [Name] off, some of his tension getting to him. He regards the Diasomnia Dorm Leader with a sharp tone on his tongue, as if spitting out a rotten vegetable he was forced to eat. He looks at the girl with his eyes narrowed into a glare.

[Name] frowns even more, a small part of them starting to get very, very scared. She blinks, and suddenly all she sees was Leona's overblot, looking down at her like some pest. She gasps slightly, blinking again and now she sees Leona as himself. She repeats this process for a while until the panic kicks in.

Suddenly realizing the eerie and unsettling similarities on the the mental image she was seeing and of the man in front of her, [Name] starts to breath heavily. She starts shaking profusely, hands reaching to her ears and gripping the sides of her head. She shuts her eyes and starts muttering soft protests, "no... no please... don't hurt me... don't leave me... I've always been here for you.... don't... don't do this..."

Leona, not expecting the strange reaction widens his eyes, quickly going to his girlfriend and taking her in his arms. He tries comforting her, which unfortunately, isn't something he's very good at.

"Hey... hey, hey, shhh.... it's... it's alright... you're alright, okay? Everything's fine..."

Realizing that [Name] wasn't responding, nor was she moving as much, Leona checks and notices that she was unconscious.

Absolutely alarmed, he calls for Ruggie and tells him to take care of the dorm while he's gone.

"Hold on! What happened to [Name]! Is she okay?!"

"......I don't know...."

Knowing that this would be a bad time, Ruggie stays quiet after hearing Leona's unsure statement. He nods and heads back to the lounge, watching as Leona rushes to the mirror and leaves to go to the infirmary.

---

To say that Crewel Divus was startled at the sudden entrance of Leona Kingscholar would be a HUGE understatement.

However, looking at the girl in the lion beastman's arms, the teacher's eyes widen and he quickly has Leona lay down on the bed.

Crewel does a couple check-ups on the fainted student and finds that she has a fever. Not a very high fever, but a fever, nonetheless.

He tells Leona that nothing seems to be wrong with her other than a fever and slightly elevated heart rate which is slowly but surely going back to normal.

"When the pup wakes up, don't overwhelm her. It would most likely worsen her condition. Am I understood, Kingscholar?"

"Yeah, yeah. You got it teach."

---

"HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME, [NAME]?! FIRST, THE UNRULY HYNENA. AND NOW EVEN MY GIRLFRIEND THINKS I'M THE WORST!! IS THAT WHAT IT IS, HUH?!"

Leona's voice rips through [Name]'s heart, hurting her beyond relief.

The dryness of the sand caused by her boyfriend's magic hurts her eyes and makes it hard to even keep her eyes open.

"Leona, please! Stop this!! We can talk about it please!"

She tries to shout out to him, though the effort was futile and only seemed to aggravate him further.

"TALK ABOUT IT?! HAHAHAHA DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. WITH THIS POWER, I CAN TURN THE WHOLE WORLD TO SAND AND MAKE EVERYONE BOW DOWN TO ME!!!"

'No...'

'No please...'

'If you go any further, you could die...'

Words that easily formed at her tongue but never slipped out. She tries opening her parched mouth only to see that the phantom behind Leona was getting bigger and bigger.

It... it was... swallowing Leona in its body! The girl tries running to the live of her life, to maybe save him or at least get to him.

But she was too late.

The lion phantom's paws swiped her away, and she gets sent flying to the pillars, screaming one thing.

"LEONA!!!"

---

"LEONA!!!"

[Name] awakens with a bolt, sweat running down her body and tears streaming her face.

She breathes heavily, looking around.

She was in the infirmary...?

Her dream suddenly resurfaces in her head.

Leona.

Where is he?

What happened to him?

Is... is he okay?!

The woman suddenly hears a groan and looks at the side of her bed, eyes widening at the sight of her boyfriend seemingly waking up.

He seemed fine for the most part. But... since when was his eyes bags so bad??

Realizing that [Name] was awake, Leona's shoulders sagged in relief.

"Thank goodness, you're awake. Wait... are you okay? Hey, why are you cryi- ack!"

The second prince of the Afterglow Savanah was cut off when his girlfriend hugs him tightly, crying even harder. Sighing with a ghost of a smile as he loosely hugs back.

"I... I thought I was gonna lose you again...."

Leona frowns, confused, until [Name] continues.

"Like your overblot. You...", the woman sniffs, "you scared me. So damn (or darn if u aren't comfortable with swearing-) much..."

His eyes widen. Ah... so that's what that was about...

His expression softens, his arms tightening firmly but comfortably around the sobbing woman and he leans his head on hers.

"I'm sorry.... for.... everything."

And Leona was. He truly was. It still did feel kind of strange apologizing, but for his girlfriend he would be willing to do it until his throat would bleed.

He never realized that his overblot would be so hard on her. He thought that she'd have mooved on from it but... it seems that wasn't the case.

His heart warms at the thought that his girlfirend was worried for him. He gets filled with warmth and tenderness as he realizes that his girlfriend is actually real, and loves him very much.

Being the second prince of the Afterglow was a tough way to live. Getting constantly compared to Falena, being disliked and borderline hated by the people of the kingdom, always being overlooked... it taught Leona that even a good thing would never last forever with him. And that no one would ever dare want to be close to him.

Until [Name] came and barged into his heart. She showed him true love and that she wouldn't abandon him.

She didn't care about the fact that he was the second born and would never get the throne. She didn't care that he was disliked and had a bad reputation. All she cared about was Leona.

And all Leona cares about is her.

Leona smiles softly into the love of his life's head.

"I won't ever leave you, [insert your chosen/fav term of endearment]. I promise."

"You better not break that promise, lion."

"I won't. ...I love you. Very much."

"I love you more."

---

Crewel, who was standing by the door of the infrimary, raises an eyebrow at the display and smiles.

'Ah, young puppy love...'

He thinks to himself as he silently leaves the couple alone.

---

END!!!

Okay!

So!

I did promise that I would be out with something new by the end of the week!

Here it is!!

Thank you for reading!

Feedback and comments are very much appreciated!!

Have a great day/night, everyone!! 💙

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst overblot #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #twst angst #twst comfort #twst fluff #leona kingscholar x fem reader #fem reader

[its-chelisey-stuff]

well, nobody dumps trauma on the younger counterparts of main leads like this writer. In retrospective, I should've known who was the evil mastermind behind it lol

I am conflicted about their specific trauma, but I am enamored with the characters and want to protect them so badly. I find their story so tragic and I'm so sad that the happy ending will belong to the older protagonists and not the young ones, because damn, they didn't have enough laughter and love around them. When will these young actors not deal with such heavy storylines?? So unfair.

Drama portrays so well the fact that trauma works in such different ways for people and how we show it. The first thing we notice about this guy is that he's quiet, reserved, stoic and very dedicated at school. The first thing we know about him is that nothing comes for free, as he uses every opportunity to get money and just before we think he loves money and dreams of getting out this town and this provincial life blah blah, we find out the truth and that all the money is for him to get away from his abusive ass of a father who beats him everyday. Ugh. My jaw dropped to the floor, I swear. I was shocked. I HATE HATE HATE this so much. You have to be an insect of the lowest kind, utterly disgusting, if you hit your children. People like that shouldn't be allowed to procreate.

But then, right after this, literally the next scene, we find out her father also beats her and I swear to God I was screaming and pulling my hair because whyyyy ???poor children. They do not deserve this. Their house is the place where they should feel the safest, not the place where they walk on eggshells and are afraid of even making a noise. Their parents should be the people who make them feel the safest, not the ones who make their nightmares come true. This right here is something I hate seeing represented in media, so watching it was pretty difficult for me. In fact, I'd advise people who are triggered by this to skip scenes or the entire episode, because the domestic abuse scenes were pretty realistic. And so loud.

But trauma for our young female lead it's different. She tries to escape from it and leave it at her house, and so she is bright, happy and over-the-top silly teen at school. She tries to enjoy, even if it's a facade. Because this is her way to cope. And her music.

I loved how he tried to reassure her and calm her down. Even if they haven't been friends for so long, he already knows her and understands her in a way no one else does. He's such a kind and selfless soul, despite everything and no matter if he's the second or main lead (more on that later), I'm rooting for him to live happily.

I really wanted for them to get away together, and live in Seoul, being adopted by her idol and brand new CEO. I wanted them to grow up together and happy, but I knew exactly where this was going, not only because of the premise and the writer, but also because this is dramaland. So when he told her they had to run away, I knew they wouldn't make it.

We are presented with a dilemma of who is the endgame here, but right now I don't care that much. I only want for this girl to live her life and finally achieve her dream of meeting her idol and be a singer. Still, we must acknowledge the elephant in the room and I've seen second male lead has glasses, so that's either the drama telling us the answer OR trying to confuse us. I find that I'm okay if he is the young kid who bravely stood up to her violent father just so he could give her time to escape.

But my money is on my human golden retriever. Aww, it's such a sight for sore eyes to see Chae JongHyeop in a main role again after almost a year and a half. He was amazing in Love All Play.

So yes, this is the writer of Start Up (does anyone else get PTSD from how toxic the fandom was back then? No? just me?) so we know she's gonna make it a point to drag this love triangle for a while. But this is also the writer of Pinocchio, While you were Sleeping and I hear Your Voice (my personal favorite), so *fingers crossed*

#castaway diva #kdrama #park eun bin #i just really want to know what happened to HIS father #because i hated him so much #and he is a cop on top of it all #and made the poor girl apologize to her abusive father after she called the cops ugh

[melodyfsoul1]

LOKI S2 FINALE GLORIOUS PURPOSE

Just spent over an hour crying over the Loki S2 Finale, and still havent recovered, but here I go anyway with my Reaction/ Review

*Loki S2 E6 Spoilers ahead*

Okay so... before watching the episode I wrote down a couple things that I did NOT want to happen/ but knowing myself, and my luck with my characters, figured that was exactly what would happen....

and turns out... I was correct....

Back in Infinty War I feared/ predicted that Loki was gonna die in the first 10 min in a stupid way where he wouldnt be able to show off his powers... and we all know how that turned out...

For this season finale, all I hoped was that Loki, for once wouldnt play the self sacrifical lamb, and find a way where he didnt have to lose Mobius and his new found friends, where he would be not alone...

So.... yeah.... about that....

Now to the Review/ Reaction:

God I was so scared

"Glorious Purpose"

The title alone had me tearing up.... we really came full circle back to S1 E1 and the fact that they started the recap with 2012 Loki too...

1 min 30 in and I'm already pausing, THE INTRO IS BACKWARDS, thar was so cool

So we all knew Loki would have to go back and try to safe everyone

BUT MARVEL DIDNT HAVE TO SHOW US TIMELY DYING OVER AND OVER AGAIN (and in so many angles too....)

Then Loki trying to learn everything OB knows to be prepared to help, but it would take time, makes sense

"CENTURIES LATER"

WHAT?! They really did that, good thing Loki has that long Life span...

The fact that all the characters realizes sth was off with Loki but MOBIUS is the one to stop and talks to him, and Loki telling him to trust him.... my heart

OH MY GOD ITS WORKING?! And Timely survived too? Did not expect that

I have never seen Loki this relieved/ happy but at the same time sad and exhausted before...

But of course its never that "easy"

No matter what, the infinite amount of branches will always detroy the loom, so the moment a timeline branched everything was doomed from he start... Ah yes Marvel and their existential dread...

Loki going back to before Sylvie killed He Who Remains, trying to convince her not to kill him.... and of course she says he has to kill her if he wants to stop her...

God Loki's Emotional Damage....

Of course Loki cant

HWR COULD HAVE STOPPED TIME THAT THE WHOLE TIME!??!! The fact that he figured Loki has gone through this whole scene before and still just watched

He knows about time slipping...

He paved he road

He planned this

Him and Loki had this conversations before

"We die with the dying, we are born with the dead"

That is such a sick quote :0

Its basically Loki vs HWR forever, and Loki knows he will always lose... but still wants to try... kudos to his determination

And of course Loki cant bring himself to trade lives... not Sylvie's, not his friends and not the multiverses...

Loki goes back to the first time he talked to Mobius...NOOOOO not the Throne talk, why does this feel like a final good bye talk.... I HATE IT

Though S1 E1 Mobius having a chat with S2 E6 Loki is such an interesting concept

He wants to find out how they chose who lives and dies... ("Who lives, who dies, who tells your story" huh? Sorry but I had to make that Hamilton reference XD)

"You're not gonna find comfort in the TVA" - Mobius to Loki

BUT HE DID, LOKI DID FIND COMFORT, IN YOU MOBIUS, Im gonna cry ... the TVA was the first place where Loki could just be himself and he found friends there too

Also Mobius might be the only comfort character who actually gives comfort (and isnt just an angsty mess who hasnt had a happy day ever)

Mobius telling the story of a hunter who couldnt kill a kid, which caused more death, loosing sight of the bigger picture

So he is talking about himself right? And of course Renslayer was the Partner

Mobius telling Loki they have to chose a burden and live with it... that it leaves scars.

Theres this sinking feeling again

And the scene SPGAHETTIFIES?! I SWEAR TO GOD MARVEL, NOT AGAIN, STOP GIVING US FANS PTSD THROUGH VISUAL EFFECTS

I dont know what to think of Loki & Sylvie's final talk.... Loki has an idea?

Oh NoNONONONONONO

I FREAKING KNEW HE WAS GONNA GO THE SELF SACRFICE ROUTE BACK FROM EP 1 AND I FIGURED HE WOULD TAKE TIMELY'S PLACE IN EP 5 BUT THIS?!

Cant he ever be happy?! Is there any Loki, in any universe who actually gets to be happy?!

The fact that Mobius was the first to notice and that him and Sylvie immediately followed Loki, tried to talk him out of it

Loki looking back, saying he finally knows what he wants

MY HEART

LOKI WALKING THROUGH SPACE WITHSTANDING THE RADIATION JUST LIKE THOR WITHSTOOD THE DYING STAR IN INFINITY WAR, THE PARALLELS

THE NEW OUTFIT, THE CAPE, HIS HORNED HELMET, OH MY GOD

It looks like an End of Time Aesthetic Version of his Ragnarok Outfit wih the Cracked Kintsugi helmet

Ngl at first I had no idea if he was using his powers to manually destroy, change or preserve the branches.... or weave them together

Oh and to be clear I was crying during like the whole last 20 min of the episode because that was just too many emotions at once

Also can we talk about how freaking cool looking the shots of Loki with the new Helmet and the branches being his cape, were?!

The throne... Oh god the remains of HWR throne...

LOKI'S GLORIOUS PURPOSE WAS TAKING ON THE BURDEN OF THE THRONE HE NEVER WANTED

*starts violently sobbing*

Poetic, Ironic and Heartbreaking, all at the same time

Like, is it extremely cool to see him use his powers to his full potential? Yes definitely.

Were the cinematics beautiful? Yes of course, it was gorgeous, tho the moment I realized he was making Yggdrasil, I started bawling my eyes out, because "You go Loki, show us what you can do"

But I also felt my heart break because Loki is now at the end if time, chose to have to watch over & protect the multiverse, all alone, forever.... (can he leave that place?)

Like this is the very same Loki, who just, 1 episode ago, admitted that he is terrified of being alone, who just wants to be with his friends. L1130 is a Loki who was actually happy and had friends, a place where he felt safe because he could be himself. And he gave EVERYTHING up to give EVERYONE ELSE a chance at life, a life he might not be able to take part in... he can watch, but we dont know if he can interact with them....

I literally talked about that in my reaction/ review from last episode. Sylvie & Loki are both selfish, which is ironically a very human trait (them being gods and all), but unlike Sylvie, Loki would actually give up everything to safe others, which is exactly what he did.

And I know Comic Loki, God of Stories, wrote himself out if the Narrative as well, out of the Story, to look behind the curtain, have a talk with the beings behind everything, but that Loki also had Verity, he had a friend outside of everything, he had someome to talk to, a friend. Verity is one of my fav characters and I would have loved to see her Comic Version too in the MCU, but I saw B-15's Name was revealed to be Verity Willis, so thats is cool Easter Egg :D

Back to Loki, I honestly cant tell which Loki has it the worst... I always thought the main Loki dying to Thanos had it the worst, but he sth akin to a life and he got the chance to mend his relationship with Thor before he died his heroes' death...

Now L1130, in the worst case, is damned to spent eternity alone, the very thing he is scared of, being without his friends, forced to watch from afar as they live life without him, when all he wanted was to be with them... that is unless he can just leave the place whenever he wants to (if the branches allow it I guess?) But if it turns out that he cant leave that place/ or interact with anyone, without everything going down immediately, then I would argue that this Loki's life is worse than the other's death... and I cant believe Im describing Infinity War Loki's Death as a mercy...

Back to the ep...

AFTER?! Right theres an after

The TVA is still intact, with a new leader ship and everyone working together, B-15, OB, Casey and even Ms Minutes is helping?

Mobius looks so sad doing his job though...

Hes gonna LEAVE?! He wants to experience his own life on the timeline, huh... Loki did promise that to Don... and M is going for it, thats sweet actually

Renslayer got sent to the end of time, Alioth waiting for her, well then

Mobius seeing what his life used to be is so sweet, likes how perfectly imperfect is it

Sylvie visits too?

"Its weird Loki's not around" she says and I start bawling my eyes out again, now thats just salting the wound.... at least they remember him

NOOOOO THE SHOT OF LOKI IN HIS THRONE

He is smiling, but he's crying too

Is there ANY Marvel Movie, or Show where Loki doesnt cry?!?! My freaking heart...

Look I know this ending makes rational sense.... and it was defintely epic, and we finally got Loki at his full potential, and yes, Loki being finally recongnized as one of the most powerful MCU characters is cool.

But personally, on an emotional level, that ending is somewhere between bittersweet and absolutely heart breakingly dreadful, because Loki didnt want this, he didnt want the throne, he only did this to save his friends, he gave up his own happiness and I hate it... I know he is happier knowing his friends have a chance at life and that he chose this, but there wasnt much of an choice with HWR....

I just hope that Loki learning to control time means he can at least visit his friend, pop in from time to time, because if him leaving the throne/ the branches means everything could come crashing down, then thats just sad...

And what does that mean for the teased Loki & Thor Reunion?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT?! We didnt even get an end credit scene?!

Anyways, I'm gonna rewatch the season the next couple days and go through some theories and head canons and see whether that will change my opinion on the ending, but we'll see.

#Loki #mcu loki #comic loki #marvel loki #loki god of stories #loki series #loki season one #loki season 2 #loki season finale #loki s2 ep6 #glorious purpose #loki spoilers #loki finale #loki2x06 spoilers #screaming crying throwing up #too many emotions #i am bawling #i have not recovered #That finale was so cool but also bittersweet #I dont know what to think #He found his glorious purpose #but at what cost #mobius #sylvie #i am not okay #overwhelmed #hyped #And brainrotting #i just want loki to be happy #i miss loki

[steddiesrobin]

bff stobin x 90210 headcanons

it’s officially 1990, robin and steve are flipping through the five channels that they have and stumble upon the premiere of “Beverly Hills, 90210”

they watch the two part premiere and actually love it??

it’s nice to watch high schooler’s live a life that doesn’t include fighting monsters and simply be teenagers

robin and steve are both hardcore simping for kelly taylor.

steve hates steve. so much. every time steve sanders opens his mouth, steve (harrington) just yells “BOOOOO!!!!”

robin does the same

robin is convinced that there is something going on between brenda and kelly (she’s just like me fr)

episode four absolutely alters steve’s brain when luke perry as dylan mckay comes on screen

“rob… you can have kelly”

after episode four, it officially became routine that every wednesday the two would watch the new episodes

they could only watch the episodes with each other

on one of their 90210 nights, eddie is over, and he’s complaining that he doesn’t want to watch the “stupid rich kid soap opera”

but it’s very important to both steve and robin that they watch the episode

so eddie finally agrees

he ends up getting sucked in very quickly

“who is that? do we like her? why do we hate him? why are they doing that?”

eddie goes home that night and watches all the previous episodes

on halloween that year, steve, robin, eddie, and nancy decide to be the core four of 90210

robin as brenda, steve as brandon, nancy as kelly, and eddie as dylan

robin is a blushing, flustered, mess when she sees nancy in a blonde wig. it also doesn’t help that robin very much ships brenda and kelly

they all giggle at robin and eddie being brenda and dylan bc they’re the furthest thing from the relationship b & d have

steve and robin cry at brenda’s departure at the end of season four

a new crush unlocks for the both of them when tiffani amber thiessen as valerie malone is on the screen during the season 5 premiere

with the two of them getting older and having “real adult lives”, it’s harder to get the time to watch the new episodes when they air at night

there’s a new episode airing one night where steve couldn’t get that night off with robin

steve confirmed it would be okay to watch without him, but robin didn’t want to. she invited nancy over and they decided to watch it anyways because the cliffhanger from the past episode had them on edge

during this episode there was some type of message about not betraying your friends, which lead to robin having a breakdown. she called steve immediately.

“rob, it’s fine. i promise i’m okay with it– yes i know we always watch it with each other but i swear it is okay that you did without me.”

a few years later, it’s 1998 and season 8 is airing. steve is kind of over the show, so many plot lines and episodes it’s getting overwhelming. it’s also been eight years.

robin is still very hyper-fixated on 90210

but season 8 is WILD and steve gets hooked and refuses to miss ANY episodes (and almost gets fired from his job for taking nights off)

(spoilers if anyone hasn’t seen the show & is interested) with season 8 having plots of kelly getting shot, revealing valerie killed her father, and brandon & kelly almost* get married was quite insane. but one episode triggers something in them

there’s an episode where donna is being held hostage and threatened to be killed, which gives both steve and robin a bit of a ptsd attack; thinking back to the russians at scoops ahoy. this is what opens steve’s eyes as to why robin is still so attached to this show, it was to help her escape the trauma that they both went through years prior. steve had thought she’d move on, but seeing a character they’d both grown fond of and having been in that same situation, it was hard to watch.

skipping info abt season 9 and most of 10 due to the fact i barely remember those seasons (cuz they kinda sucked ngl), steve and robin make a whole event for the series finale in year 2000

the party is at robin and nancy’s place, since steve and eddie have gotten their own place (they live next door to each other.) the fruity four get decide to wear their 90210 fruity four halloween costumes from years prior, along with telling everyone else they invite to come in costume

(spoilers again) after 10 years of the show, this is an emotional night. everyone is spending their night watching donna martin and david silver finally get married. seeing characters that have left the show comeback for the finale made the night even more emotional.

seeing nat walk donna down the aisle made steve hardcore sob. like. his eyes were red and puffy.

the sobbing doesn’t stop when donna and david say their vows and tell each other “i do.” which leads to eddie getting down on one knee and proposing

steve truly cannot take anymore crying.

he says yes, obviously.

getting back to the episode, dylan and kelly are back together which comes to everyone yelling out “BOOOOO!” bc they’re dylan/kelly anti’s

the finale comes to an end and everyone is a jumble of emotions.

steve realizes that robin is crying. “rob, what’s wrong?” he asks her. “it’s just…” she starts, “i can’t believe it’s over. this made us closer than ever, i loved spending my 90210 nights with you, and with it being over and you now getting married… i don’t want to lose my best friend.” steve softly chuckles, “you’re not gonna lose me, rob. i’ll always be your best friend. i also live right next to you, if anything you’ll be begging to get rid of me.”

and that’s their night.

#stranger things #stranger things headcanons #beverly hills 90210 #bh 90210 #90210 #stobin #platonic stobin #steddie #ronance #steve harrington #robin buckley #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #stranger things fanfic #bi steve harrington #90s nostalgia #brenda walsh #dylan mckay #brandon walsh #kelly taylor #donna martin #david silver #steve sanders #brylan