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fatesundress · 1 year

Text

⭑ observations ii. tom riddle x reader

part i here.

summary. two weeks after your last encounter with tom shatters all of your previous observations, tensions are high, and eventually, something's gotta give. (it's tom. he’s giving head)

tags. smut (so. so much. minors BE GONE TO WHENCE YOU CAME!), fem anatomy + reader is referred to as a woman by someone, fingering, cunnilingus, piv, again implied tall!tom or short!reader (take it however you prefer), jealous tom does not understand friendship but then again neither does reader apparently, a little wine is had, the room of requirement is used shamelessly as a plot device, did i mention smut, i’ve lost my mind etc etc.

note. this is a part two, so go ahead and read the first part and come back if you'd like :) obligatory preface: it's safe to assume any smut i write within hogwarts is a university au — these people are all 18+ tyvm. also woahh was not expecting the love on my last post so thank you! i'm still trying to figure this whole acc out so support, questions, (requests? never done those before) anything is appreciated ♡

word count. 6.3k

The next two weeks are agony. You don’t, in fact, stop meeting with Godefrey to study, because you do, in fact, still need a good mark in Ancient Runes and for all his faults he can reach the tallest shelves and he’s a faster writer than you. Also, Tom Riddle is fantastic with his hands but this does not make him God.

You find pureblood politics a bit archaic. You find muggle courting a bit stifling. This leaves very little space for what took place between you and Tom in the middle of a corridor two weeks ago (you can’t stop wincing at how insane that sounds) and very little patience for his utterly original and not-at-all entitled request that you halt your studies with Godefrey. Godefrey doesn’t stick his hands up your skirts while the two of you are studying, doesn’t silence your gasps with a shush and a finger to your mouth, doesn’t — wouldn’t (you’re so imaginative when you want to be) — tell you to keep reading as his thumb draws circles between your legs, tell you to repeat the words that get caught in your throat, tell you how much he likes it when your eyes go dumb and glassy and all you can say is his name. So, really, Tom should have nothing to worry about.

“I swear,” Selwyn says, picking at a plate you don’t think she’s actually eaten anything off with how distracted she is, “he’s looked over here at least three times.”

You don’t dare glance at who you know she’s talking about. “You’re obsessed.”

Pot. Kettle. Whatever.

“Are you sure you didn’t do something to upset him in Potions? Didn’t botch something that might mar his perfect record?”

You flick her forehead and she scowls. “I’m not an idiot, Selwyn. I handle myself just as well in Potions as he does — he wouldn’t —” Wouldn’t have complimented your rapport if that weren’t true, wouldn’t have said you communicate efficiently, make a good pair, probably wouldn’t have — fingered you in the hallway? — yes, that too. Slipped your mind. So easy to forget.

You take a long exhale, and smile impassively at her. “I didn’t botch anything, trust me.”

She finally takes a bite of food. “Maybe I did something…”

And then she’s lost in thought again, eating now, at least, and you shake your head softly as you watch what are likely a million different theories flitting through her head.

“Morning,” Tom says to you when you enter Potions after breakfast, a delicate smile tugging at his lips.

You have, of course, trained for this.

It’s your fifth — sixth? — time sharing a table with him since that night and it is somehow easier by nature and harder by anticipation (of what, you have no idea) every time. The first was terrible. Unsalvageable and without a silver lining. It had taken almost an hour that morning to charm the violent hues of red and purple spanning the column of your throat, and ultimately, the marks were so persistent you’d forgone the glamours and decided to just wear a turtleneck. You’d been fortunate it was completely inconspicuous to wear such a thing in December, but that was about all there’d been to be grateful for. You hadn’t been able to look at Tom all class and his hand had brushed yours once to take a phial from you and you’d flinched so sharply it would have shattered on the floor if he hadn’t caught it. And he’d smiled, like he’s smiling now, a soft, “Careful,” that honestly, for a short moment, made you want him dead.

Now you could speak just fine, look him in the eyes in practised intervals, and almost, impressively, make articulate conversation with him again. Make stupid comments about Slughorn and Lestrange and bear the weight of his grin knowing it was there for you.

His, he’d called you. A very funny thing.

“Morning,” you answer on a smiling sigh, sleepy but jovial all the same.

You deserve applause for this.

“Tired?”

“Mhm — Essays for Ancient Runes are due Friday and it’s been keeping us up all night.”

His eyes flash with something you’ve yet to ascertain. Your research has been put temporarily on hold, scattered and splintered by the revelation that your first observation was, admittedly, a little bit off, and you have no means of figuring out a look like that when you can’t even begin to figure out anything else.

“Has it?” he asks, a tinge less friendly.

“Well,” you say, grinding the lacewing flies, “that’s commonplace, isn’t it? You take all sorts of advanced classes, I’m sure you understand the work it takes.”

“...Hm.”

That’s it. That’s all you get from him.

And if Selwyn’s concern over you botching your work in Potions wasn’t already, obviously dispelled, the glee on Slughorn’s face as he assesses your and Tom’s cauldron should do it.

“Brilliant! Just brilliant!” He claps a hand over Tom’s back, regarding you both with pride so thick it clouds his eyes, like he's drifted into a revery of the future (you and Tom, you expect, are his most prized graduates, making history under his name, proving his immense wisdom) before he appears to return to Earth. “Ten points between the two of you, hm? Very, very good — though, of course, no surprises there!”

He chuckles to himself as he evaluates the other students, and you catch a horrified wheeze of Godefrey’s name (bless his heart) as one of the cauldrons in the back begins to sputter and froth.

You look to Tom with some droll little comment at making it to the end of term with top marks, but his gaze is burning into Godefrey’s table in such a way you wouldn’t be surprised if it was what was causing his cauldron to boil.

Well. Perhaps not, then.

You and Godefrey hand in your essay that Friday with more relief than apprehension — you both decide it’s quite good — and you laugh loudly and breathlessly as he picks you up and thanks you a thousand times, spinning you until you’re dizzy. You refrain from making any promises to attend his Quidditch games, but he vows to let you have the snitch he catches.

And Slughorn, you come to find, was not exaggerating his elation at your skill. After trotting after you on your walk back from Ancient Runes to invite you to the last Slug Club dinner of the year, your spirits are high with the blissful satisfaction of a job well done and a night to celebrate it with.

You can breathe, finally, when it’s the last week of school before Christmas break and Selwyn’s zipping the back of a last-minute dress you purchased in Hogsmeade.

“Gorgeous,” Selwyn says with a grin. “Wish this school would have a bloody ball so I could really dress you up.”

“Buy a doll, Selwyn; you can dress them however you like.”

“You are such a —”

You burst into laugher, swatting her wand away as she pokes your side with it.

“Just — go then, before I hex you.”

“All right, all right!” you concede, arms raised in surrender. “Don’t ruin all your hard work now.”

“Oh,” she calls on your way out the door. You turn and there’s a mischievous look in her eyes as she tucks her wand back in her pocket. “And do tell me before I leave tomorrow if Riddle stares at you all night.”

You groan as if it’s a truly abominable thing to imagine. Riddle, staring with those dark eyes of his? You, the centre of his attention? Ghastly. You daresay you’d never recover from the horror of it.

“Don’t leave before I tell you how remarkably uneventful a night it was,” you say with a sidelong glare, and leave before she can edge in the final word.

You have no idea what a Slug Club supper typically consists of, but you imagine for Christmas he’s gone a little further with his festivities. His office is glittering in hues of green and red and fleecy, snow-dappled gold. The lights overheard (some similar charm to the one in the Great Hall but a tad less complex, you think) drip and then vanish into the air like squeezed berries, and the berries — served with pastries and ice cream — taste like they must be enchanted with something.

Selwyn was right that the standard dress isn’t quite formal enough for a ball, but it’s… formal. The boys are in clean-cut dress robes and the girls are in fine gowns of different lengths. By the overwhelming number of them you recall being archetypes of Slytherin pureblood fanaticism, it makes sense how expensive they all look. You yourself brush up nicely, if not a bit more frugally, but you haven’t been to an event like this at the school yet, and that’s exciting on its own.

It’s another degree of training (is there going to be a marathon? Are you at war?), a step up from your preparations before Potions every other day, to be ready when Tom Riddle enters the room a respectable five minutes late with a gleam about him more captivating than any of the lights.

“Ah, Tom!” Slughorn exclaims, and ushers him into a seat you remark before Tom is even in it is discomfitingly near to yours. “We’re all here at last… Supper, then? Hope you aren’t too full already, I’ve got the House Elves running laps!”

You’re spared Tom’s closeness by a Ravenclaw couple sat in the chairs between you, their hands clasped under the table while they sip wine from their goblets, and you only realise the length of your observation when Tom glances at you from the spot over, and you startle yourself into reaching for your own goblet and pretending to enjoy Slughorn’s bitter wine.

You eat. You listen to cluttered, unending tales of Slughorn’s time at school and how he earned his post. You drink, and then you regret not drinking before eating because there’s only a very light, very nice buzz that warms you when you finish your cup, and the Ravenclaw couple is — oh, wait, it isn’t just them — they’re standing up to dance as a gramophone sparks to life and a low, dulcet instrumental begins to play. There are now two notably empty seats separating you from Tom.

What had you said this night would be? Blissful satisfaction?

You couldn’t blame Selwyn for suggesting you’d blundered Potions — you didn’t feel exceptionally smart right now.

“I didn’t know you would be here tonight,” Tom says, pulling the chair beside you.

Where is the bottle of wine? No. Nevermind. You behave regrettably enough sober.

You manage a simple, “And yet.”

“...And yet.” His lips quirk before he takes a drink from his goblet.

You lament for a second that you’ve only actually kissed those lips once. They spent a great deal longer on your neck.

“Will you be here over break?” he asks, and it isn’t an unreasonable thing to ask, you suppose.

“I think so. Why?”

“I’d like to know whether to expect you or not.”

Expect you… No, yes — revert to observation two: unusual is not an apt enough word for him.

It takes you a moment to conjure a response befitting polite dinner conversation. That is, after all, still what this is.

“I suppose you can. I’ll be busy, of course.”

Well, you didn’t say you conjured something good. It’s a big fat lie. Placating, vague, empty. And you suspect Tom knows that.

“Pity.”

Yes, he knows. He’s all quiet amusement again.

You stare off, satisfied to be left alone —

"And what is it that'll be taking so much of your time?"

“Well, I'm —” And now you have to build the lie — “I’ve told Godefrey I’ll attend to his Quidditch practise. Since the pitch isn’t in use.”

God, it’s so stupid it’s almost impressive — you don’t even know if Godefrey will be here over break, and you could have chosen any number of excuses that would pique Tom’s interest less than it’s apparently consistently piqued by the mention of your study partner.

There’s that strange, indecipherable look again. Riddle is a perfect surname for him, you decide then, and you almost laugh at yourself for it, but that would probably not go over well should he ask what’s so funny.

“Have you, now? That’s very kind of you.”

“It’s hardly charity.”

“Hm, it’s kind of you to think so.”

You huff, tipping your goblet back to swallow the last meagre dregs of your wine.

“You look lovely.”

It’s just a little bit — just a tiny, straggling little bit of elderflower that captures your throat — and you cough into your goblet. “Thank — thank you.”

And, well, he looks lovely too. Obviously. Sickeningly so. You know little about his personal life but you’re positive he’s at least a half-blood, if not muggle-born, and it makes you wonder the influence of his renownedly plain black suit in a crowd of neat, long robes.

He manages with little effort to look better than all of them at their best.

His eyes drift over you appreciatively, quick enough not to be rude but — enough. (Enough that you daresay you might never recover from the horror of it.) You adjust under his gaze even when it’s situated on your face, far too heavy a thing for you to carry. “Does Godefrey call you lovely?”

What?

You blink at him, your mouth is probably open and you probably look stupid but he’s so… irritating. Yes, of course Godefrey calls you lovely. Godefrey tells you you’re the smartest woman he’s ever met (after his mother), and he drowns you with sherbet lemons at no cost, and he writes at the speed of light to match the quickness with which you recite your textbook, and none of it means anything. Tom is just —

“Unbelievable…”

He quirks a brow. “What was that?”

“I said you’re unbelievable, Riddle. Is it impossible for you to comprehend that I might have friends? That Godefrey is my friend?”

“Well, memory serves me right that you seemed a bit confused on the conventions of friendship last you mentioned it. Do forgive my uncertainty.”

He — that was —

“Well, that’s because we are not friends.”

“No.” He leans in. “We are not.”

You push your chair from the table with all the grace you can manage for such an abrupt thing: a tight, impersonal smile on your face as you walk away and approach Slughorn, only realising when you get there that your empty goblet is clutched in your hand like you’re trying to strangle it.

Whatever he sees on your face, he isn’t drunk enough not to frown at. “Ah, our newest gem — hardly seen you all night! Not leaving already, are we?”

You glance at the clock. It isn’t as though you’re being impolite by abandoning his party in the middle of the event. It’s quite late, the servers are stuck to the walls with little to do, and most of the room has divided into waltzing pairs.

“I’m taking my friend to the train station tomorrow, sir. Unfortunately I need to be up quite early.”

Yes, yes, it’s all so tragic. You’re depressed to go.

“Such a shame,” Slughorn frets, wobbling a tad and balancing himself on the wall. “You’ll be all right getting back? Not at all dizzy, are you?” His laugh is cleaved by a loud hiccough, and then he laughs even more. “My, well, I myself will need to be carried!”

“...I’ll be fine, sir. Thank you.”

“Oh, no trouble at all — there’s — hm… ah, Tom!”

No, no — is it bad you almost reach over and slap your palm over your professor’s mouth? Is it at all impressive that you don’t? You should look on the bright side in moments like these. You should admire your restraint.

But of course, Slughorn’s eyes don’t fall upon Tom for nothing. He's halfway across the room already, and Slughorn must have spotted him approaching to achieve this brilliant solution. “Tom can escort you back, no?”

Tom (unforgivably) is beside you now, a very mean, very pretty smile on his face.

“Not too much to ask, I should think? You know the castle best. Head Boy — sometimes I still can’t believe it!”

You look up at Tom and your jaw is clenched where you’ve since put down your goblet. There is too much tension in you to know what to do with, and he looks positively thrilled.

“It’s hardly charity, sir.” He holds out his arm.

You wonder what spell would catch him most off-guard if you were to blast him in the face right now.

Slughorn claps his hands together. “Ha! Yes, well… perfect, then! Off now, the two of you, off now. Do have a good — ” He hiccoughs again — “rest!”

You don’t even bother the diplomacy of smiling at Slughorn as your arm loops through Tom’s and you’re exiting the party.

Neither of you say a word on the journey, and that’s very well.

If you could just get back to bed without speaking to him you may still consider it a good night. You may be able to push his strangeness and his entitlement and the annoying way his hair falls to another day, when he pesters you about Godefrey’s nonexistent Quidditch practise, which — come to think of it — you do think he told you he'd be headed home for the holidays. You really fumbled that one.

And then Tom’s thumb is brushing the bare skin of your arm and your walk stutters a bit. But he doesn’t mention it, and so neither do you.

And then he’s drawing down your elbow to your forearm so softly it almost feels like he isn’t touching you at all. He doesn’t mention it. Neither do you.

And then your arm, without really meaning for it to, is slipping from his and his hand is holding yours instead, feather-light as his fingers clasp yours and your breath is not the same as it was when you left.

He doesn’t mention it. He just keeps going.

His fingers work back up your arm and you shiver as they drag across your shoulder, gaze searing your neck as the soft digits find their way to your jaw, and you get the sense he’s remembering just how much he liked the taste of it, and you’re… you’re allowing it all again. You’re leaning in, you’re seeking him out, you want him flush against you and even that might not be satisfactory.

You are, in the end, a half-decent observer and a terrible liar.

You’re grabbing his hand with a small amount of direction and a great deal of meaning. You suppose it's because, historically, you’ve proven to have trouble with words in moments like these, and you don’t really know where you’re taking him but god, you know where you want him. Somewhere soft, this time, thick enough that you can fist your hands around it and melt. Somewhere he can hover over you, maybe hold you down a little, just until — maybe, miraculously — you might make him break a little too. Clamber over his lap. Make him yours.

“Tom,” you mouth, some question in the way your eyebrows knit.

The moment you say his name — the instant — he’s pulling you in, crushing his mouth against yours. And, ah, right, that’s what his lips feel like. You’d almost forgotten.

This kiss is not chaste, hardly tender. It resists in that it asks you to push, to plead, to take this for yourself to prove how badly you want it, and he smiles into it when you do. And then, sated by your efforts, he lets you have him. You’re gripping the collar of his suit in your hands as his wander appreciatively over the back of your dress, pulling you into him as the kiss deepens. He’s savouring you like you’re something religious that’s been offered to him, and there’s the taste of wine on his tongue and you’re still here, aware enough that the symbolism isn’t lost on you.

“I've been thinking," he says between kisses, “about the way you felt when I touched you. I've been thinking about how long it might take before you need it again."

You gasp at the sensation, and god, god, you've been wondering too, haven't you?

You’re pulling him impossibly closer and something hard is pressing into your hip and you clutch tighter onto his shirt as you moan into his mouth. You need it off, you think, and — has your dress been clinging to you like this all night? You need that off too. You need skin on skin. You careen him backwards without aim, your mind a muddled mess of all the many things your body is screaming it needs, like this is fucking imperative; to give it up would be catastrophic.

You suppose, based on what you’ve read, that that’s how the Room of Requirement works, but it’s still funny to think it would apply to this.

It hurts to remove yourself from him to watch in dumb awe as the door forms in the stone (to see the dark, languid shape of his eyes bearing down on you, the wet, stained pink of his lips), and Tom seems to recover from the revelation much faster than you.

His mouth is on yours once more, a hungry kiss; his free hand at your waist, guiding you through the door and shutting it carelessly behind him.

He’s like fire against you, radiating as he presses down on you, his hand tangled in your hair and his hips flush against yours. You shiver as his mouth starts to move down (a cheap trick — he hasn’t forgotten how much you liked it the last time) from your jaw to your throat, as his lips trail down your chest and you're shivering into the warmth of him.

You’ve heard it said before, in some romantic sense, that it’s sometimes hard to tell where you end and someone else begins.

This is not like that.

You've never been more aware of anything than the point where you and him meet.

You’re tugging at him blindly again, trusting in the nature of the Room like this isn't the first time you've been in it, and then you're stumbling down onto a bed you're quite sure wasn't there a moment ago (people say magic is a neutral force but evidently this is not the fucking case), fingers carding through Tom's hair as his body pins you into the mattress.

His mouth is molten hot as you squirm and pant beneath him, your breath coming faster than it ever has. Everything feels sharper and deeper and more intense under his touch, every sensation heightened until it's almost impossible to tell pleasure from pain, his tongue from his teeth.

How did it take you this long to do this again? To need him like this?

And his — you should really have the mind to see the mistake in all of this but perhaps that's for later — his fingers are pulling your sleeves down, propping your back to arch as he reaches under you to unzip your dress, apparently too impatient to sit you up and take it off properly so he just bunches it around your waist instead. There’s a moment where he stops to look at you, your chest exposed to him in the dim sconce-light, and then his mouth returns to circle your breast and you're biting down on a pillow to hold back the whimpering gasp that seeks to escape you. He hums around your flesh, and then he’s at your sternum, kissing a stripe to your belly button before pushing past the dress he's left ringed around your abdomen.

You shimmy under the weight of him to prop your head up — to see past the mass of silk that obscures his face from you as moves lower and lower, hands spanning your hips to keep you still.

His face hovers above your thighs, and he doesn’t move.

“Did you enjoy my fingers?" he asks.

At that you freeze, thighs pressing together to bury the hand that's rising between them.

Tom smiles. “Hm, you did."

And then he spreads your legs apart, one hand pushing your underwear aside and regarding you with delicate, shameless appetite — something that might even be adoration: like this is all he ever wanted you to want.

“Do you think you'd enjoy my mouth, too?"

Words are gone. There's nothing left in you.

His head moves happily between your knees, holding them apart, pressing kisses to the base of your thighs. Your hands flail from the sheets, desperate to grip something else and you hold back a sound that feels like irritation and need at the same time. You need him closer, higher than this. He knows. You can feel his smile biting into your skin.

And then you manage a nod though you're not even sure he's looking at your face anymore (and what a picture to imagine he is) and you worry momentarily it won’t be enough for him — that he’ll ask you to be nice and say it out loud for him — but he hums with something merciful, and — his chin dips. You catch the smallest glimpse of his tongue before it’s on you, wet and slow and unrelenting and you say his name, but it’s a mewl; you choke on it. It sounds like a cry.

Pitiful, needy, undone. Just how he wants you.

You think all efforts to remain even remotely composed are thrown to the wind as soon as his tongue is lapping at you, fast and then slow, everything you want and not even remotely close. He sinks all his weight down as if he can predict the moment you'll writhe before you do — and you do. And with his grip he tells you to endure it. You only need him to say it with his hands and his mouth but he breathes back, licking his lips and he actually says it. “Be good.”

That makes your breath hitch and your cheeks swell impossibly hotter, and reality is a small glint in your peripheral where everything else is burning red. “Y-you’re—”

His mouth returns to you, tongue catching your clit in a drawn-out, agonising motion, and you gasp and lurch forward to inch through the sensation, craving more, more, more. Reason is lost on you, a throbbing familiarity forcing you to grind your teeth down on the pillow to stop yourself from telling him to — you don’t even know. Finish you. Abandon all reluctance. Just let you come as hard as you know he wants you to.

But he pauses, observant as he starts to work his fingers against you. Watching how your slick coats them like it’s the most enthralling sight he’s ever witnessed. Slowly, ever so slowly, he starts to push one inside of you, hearing your breath catch above him and the moan that comes tumbling out of your throat, pillow be damned.

You do your best to breathe through it, and you know he knows how to make you unfold like this, so the meticulous lightness of his ministrations tells you he’s trying to keep it from you now. You’re almost embarrassed about the fact that you’re dripping onto his hand regardless; his lips puffy, his gaze unnervingly, dizzyingly carving you in two.

“Just,” you rasp, clutching desperately at his wrist. “Tom, please.”

Your begging must be music to his ears. (It’s a rare, unplanned fifth observation: that you think he’ll never get tired of hearing you say his name like that.)

He adds a finger. It’s encircling you, first, and no amount of restraint can stop the harsh gasp that leaves you, but then it’s his tongue and two fingers and he’s pushing into you how you wanted, and he makes a pleased sound against you, gripping you tighter with his free hand, still not allowing you movement and fuck, are you trying. What you're feeling now — the need, the want, everything — is more than rational thought. Your mind goes blank, and all that matters is this, him, right here and now; nothing else exists, not even for a second. You moan, a low, throaty noise that's a little too loud, a little too intense; you can't recall if anything has ever come from you quite like it and Tom devours you at the sound.

More, you agree; it's almost an obsession in you now; more, more, please, anything and everything.

It’s the precision of his touch — not some bored, hurried transgression — that brings your hands helplessly to his hair.

“Tom,” you whine, holding him tight, and the purr of his mouth finding you again is something destructive.

As soon as you feel another swell of something deep down, your mouth is dropping open.

His tongue is sliding through you, fingers curling, and then your clit is in his mouth, and he’s watching you between your thighs as your eyes clench shut, and you’re coming.

Your voice breaks somewhere in the catastrophe of it. Your body spasms, electric down to every atom, and he pins you down through it. He doesn’t grant you the reprieve of escaping the frenzied, glorious torture of it. His mouth still lingers. His tongue moves thankful and unrelenting.

He takes all of you, and you think this is destruction — creation — both. How terrifyingly similar they suddenly feel.

His lips are swollen and slick when he finally detaches them from you and you want to kiss him, but he’s leaning back to admire his work. You swallow, unable to blame him for it because you look down at yourself and — this is something else. You’re dripping down his chin. You're shaking. Your legs are still clenching around his torso. They’re holding him so tight you can’t imagine it doesn’t hurt.

But he just rolls off of you. Adjusts his trousers and your abdomen flutters and you think, don’t.

You don’t even realise you’re reaching for him until your hand is around his wrist and you’re still fucking sighing through the come-down, panting into the hot air.

He presses a kiss to your forehead, fingers damp on your chin as he holds you. You make a note that that’s the second time he’s done that. That you thought it was strangely intimate the first time and nothing’s changed other than how much more you like it.

And it doesn’t really feel like you can help it but crawl with gooey, trembling legs onto his lap. Doesn’t feel like you can help it when you lean in and capture his lips with yours, moan unabashedly into his mouth at the stiffness that presses against your core when you do, steal his tongue and the taste of you on it.

When he pulls away he’s looking at you like he doesn’t think you can actually do this. Like you’d just crumble the moment you tried.

A low, determined protest rises in your throat and you’re kissing him again. You’re unbuttoning his dress shirt, you’re trembling to reach for his trousers.

When you can finally shrug his shirt off, press yourself against him, feel that skin on skin you wanted so badly, you find it somehow even more suffocating than its absence. You’re left wanting a more you aren’t able to even conceptualise, but you’re grinding involuntarily against him and his teeth are scraping your neck and he's hissing at the sensation, and — yes, there’s more.

Your breath is staggered when your hips stutter into a roll and you — fuck. You’re tugging desperately to remove his belt and he smiles against your throat as he takes your hands and guides them to him. You can feel his bulge against your thigh and you’re spreading your legs to usher him where you want, clawing at his chest without even meaning to.

Tom’s taking off his belt, and he’s pulling down his trousers just enough to bare himself to you, and maybe he’s right that you can’t manage it yourself but he stops his assistance like the intrigue of finding out is too good to resist. There's something both intimate and imperious, in a way, about the way he's looking at you now; it's a kind of focus and intensity and withheld hunger just for you; and you're more than happy to give yourself over to it, to let his hands and his eyes and his mouth claim you for his own. To claim him for yours, at last.

You do. You struggle for it. He’s very patient.

But then it’s there — more — as you finally sink down on him and bite his shoulder and he shudders a low, pained exhale, his hands clutching your waist.

There’s a silent, suspended moment where neither of you move. The room feels entirely still.

Your lips quiver over his pulse, and your stomach flips at the intensity of it, the undeniable rate of his desire beneath you. You smile against him now, like he always does to you, conscious enough to mumble into his neck, “Mine.”

Tom stutters inside you, fingers gripping you impossible tighter as you dare to think he even gasps. You dare to think he likes it.

And then one of his hands grabs your jaw and his kiss is searing. He thrusts upward and you cry into his mouth, searching to match his pace in a way that you appreciate, for once, he seems unlearned in.

It’s all a bit messy, a bit new, palms in fists, in skin, in hair, digging for every part they haven’t already taken from. The sound in the back of Tom’s throat is divine, the feeling of him inside you as he slips his hand back between your legs — like he needs everything, like he knows you do too — it’s ineffable. It coils somewhere deep, touches something you didn’t know existed. Your hips are rotating, thighs still soft and slack from coming apart on his tongue, but you’re determined. It feels like finding even ground. It feels like something you deserve: to make him feel how you did.

Your head rolls back, eyes pinching shut in bliss, but Tom is there at your jaw again, forcing your blurry gaze back to him.

His hips are inching even further, the intensity of his pace as he adjusts to you making you dizzy. You think, realistically, there’s sound coming out of you, but you aren’t entirely sure when it’s so close to him, when your mouth is between his fingers and your ears are ringing and he’s looking at you like you’re made for him.

“Mine.” And it isn’t a dismissal of your own claim but a confirmation that one will not be without the other. His voice is raw and breathy and something about the way he says it makes you contract inadvertently around him, hands swatting his chest like they don’t know what else to do. There’s just too much.

You recognize you’re trying to say something. Some plea, a moan, his name (is there anything else left?), but you’re just babbling into his mouth and he holds you there. He doesn’t kiss you. It’s your failing words against his lips. He swallows whatever syllables try to shape them.

It’s there again when you need it most; the heavy, swirling feeling inside you as he snaps his hips, his fingers returning to your waist with punishing firmness. His breathing accelerates, low in his throat, and you push harder against him. Your vision is gone again, head held in his hands to keep from rolling back so that, you suspect, he can watch defeat split you down the middle again — not over your shoulder, not with his head between your legs — with his eyes on yours, with every broken moan you let out so close to his face he can feel the breath of each one.

You’re grappling desperately at skin that doesn’t feel like enough, even though he’s rocking inside you, and you see the insanity of it, you see that it isn’t logical. Too much and not enough at once — you’re smart enough to know that doesn’t work, but it just is.

“Please,” you manage in a voice you don’t recognize. “Please, Tom, pleasepleaseplease —”

Had you said before it was foolish to call him forgiving? You take it back. He’s very eager to oblige you.

He finds some place inside of you and you don’t know quite what it is that he changes but it's new, uncharted, and you break there. You dissolve. You’re liquid in his hands as you sob, stuttering around him, trembling like you didn’t know was possible, and you swear — you swear you’re going to take him there with you. It isn’t that you could stop yourself if you tried but your body is gripping around him, fingers carving halved spheres into his skin, and you’re pushing down on him through the ecstasy — you’re forcing your eyes open so he can see you break, watch them flutter back all soft and pretty.

And you're sated by your ruin when it ruins him too.

The sound he makes is ragged. Undone. He can only bury it halfway with a kiss you think is actually more of a bite, twitching inside you as he fucks you through it.

You’re both lost in each other for a moment that feels detached from time, feeling his hips stutter to a halt, feeling your body soften. And he’s pulling out of you like it hurts, mouth falling open as he does. You wince at the loss, the sweet soreness between your legs, and you’re held only by the weight of him. You think — and you actually sway like the mere idea is too strong — that if it weren’t for his hands, you’d fall flat off the bed.

But he sort of lifts you off him, lays you down and watches you for a long time as if to decide something important before he's laying down beside you. You watch him too. His fingers brush your hair out of your face, and when there’s not a single curl left clinging to the sweat on your skin, he continues anyway. You let him trace your lips, your jaw, your nose, and somehow, a bit terrifyingly, your final observation: nothing about it feels unusual at all.

You did say he was yours.

#tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle x you #tom riddle smut #tom riddle x y/n #tom marvolo riddle #voldemort #voldemort x reader #tom riddle imagine #tom riddle fanfiction #tom riddle oneshot #NO LONGER!#but it is only a two-parter sorry. this is it #harry potter fanfiction #wizarding world

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gurugirl · 2 years

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Tales From the Modern Incubus Part V*

Summary: Harry gets some news about you from the watchers but it doesn't deter him. You are caught with a conundrum and have a decision to make about your relationship with Miguel.

A/N: This is dark!harry content and Harry's a demon so beware before reading on - check out all warnings in the TFMI masterlist. This is a longer update, at 8k words which means there's a lot of info to take in so pay close attention. Character List for reference

Warning: Smut, unprotected sex, dry humping, cheating (technically), mentions of spells & incantations

Part IV

Part V*

It didn’t take the watchers long to find their first bit of interesting information about you. When Harry received the call from Aim, he was in the middle of getting caught up on a few things that he’d neglected the past few days since he found you. He really wanted to stay and watch you eat your toast while you looked at your phone watching dumb videos but duties called.

Aim told Harry to wait for Tamie, the watcher who had found the important information. She would be arriving to his home in approximately thirty minutes with documents and information for Harry.

“I’ve looked over everything she’s found, and it does nothing to comfort me about the mistress you’ve selected. They are still gathering information about her but I’d caution you to keep your distance, at least a little until we know more. I’m not telling any of the apostles of the findings until necessary, but they will request information.” Aim advised.

Harry shook his head to himself, “Understood. I’ll wait for here for Tamie.” He wouldn’t be keeping his distance, that would hinder his progress with you.

Aim knew Harry wouldn’t listen, but he had to at least offer him some advice, “I know you’ll do what you want anyway, Harry. But what kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t give you a warning? I’m rarely wrong when I make these calls. But, we’ve been given free will, and you certainly can proceed how you choose but it’s wise to heed good advice. Bad choices have bad consequences.”

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes. Of course he knew his friend was right and he hadn’t even told Aim of what had happened when you were startled because you could smell him in your room when you couldn’t even see him. Harry could make this so much easier on himself by selecting a different mistress. But Harry was never one to take the easy way out. He adored a challenge and you were already coming around to him. In fact, he’d gotten a text from you not long before Aim called. Even if you were supernatural, he could still complete his task with you. It wasn’t unheard of. Not conventional, but not prohibited either.

“I know. I appreciate your advice and I’ll keep it in mind,” Harry spoke before both men said their goodbyes.

Just as Aim said, Tamie showed up with a folder in hand thirty minutes later.

“Come in, please.” Harry let the watcher into his home and noted how she looked around and at everything in his space. Harry had eclectic taste. If not expensive. It might have been a bit over the top but Harry embraced his preferences and the things he liked. People, demons, and angels who’d visited him usually made a few comments about his decorations. He almost expected it every time. He enjoyed the attention.

But Tamie didn’t say anything about the space around her or the decorations and furnishings he’d selected. She was clearly in business mode. Handing him the file she spoke, “Take a look at what I have here for you.” She leans in and opens the folder, pointing to the first document, “This is a birth certificate for Y/N, but it's been altered. To someone who doesn’t know what to look for this looks fine. In fact, most state and federal entities wouldn’t blink an eye or question the authenticity, which is why she exists as a citizen today. But I have come across this a few times and the pattern appears the same so I knew just what to look for and my hunch was correct. Can we sit?”

“Sure. Would you like anything to drink?” Harry said as he kept his eyes on the document, searching for what could be off about this as he led Tamie to his dining table where they could lay the documents out.

“No. That’s okay. Thank you.”

Tamie immediately took over, showing Harry her findings about you, “This is a fake. I could go into detail and explain why I know this, but you'll just have to take my word for it, because the rest of the evidence speaks for itself. This next document, here, is a sort of contract for an adoption. This wasn’t a regular adoption. There is no certificate of adoption, there is no original birth certificate either. Y/N was adopted illegally by her current parents. Y/N’s father, Enzo and her mother Gwyn deliberately looked into false adoption options and there are three other records, which I’ve made copies of… here…” she slid out a sheet of paper with three images, which looked to be receipts of some kind, “… these are like down payment receipts, and to set up the initial meetings for the adoption. Everything was done in cash so there’s no way to actually trace this back to Enzo and Gwyn, but we have this…” Tamie’s red nails pluck out another sheet of paper and puts it on top, pointing to the copied travel document, “… travel records for the both of them, going to the same city that these three receipts are from,” she points back to the paper with the images copied on it, “… the timeline matches up. The pair stayed at a small motel very close to the location and we see that they returned home after the initial meeting and deposit made.”

Tamie puts away some of the papers, stacking them up to move them aside as she brings out another travel document and more receipts. She outlines how the second receipt matched up with the location and the timeline as does the third. Then after the third is when they would have brough you home with them. More receipts of them making purchases for things a baby would need, this time with a credit card, so it was easy to find.

“This is something I’ve come across before when on surveillance. Every time I find something like this and we are suspicious about a particular person, it turns out they are part of the unfound, the ones who don’t know they are supernatural. It usually turns out that a fallen angel or the like, mated with a human and then the heir was abandoned or something similar. It’s typically a supernatural male who impregnates a human female and leaves her behind to have the child and so adoption can tend to be a possibility in these circumstances. But sometimes, things aren’t done legally and then the heir can get lost in the shuffle. It’s hard to keep track of them all and so they can be easy to lose, especially when there’s no official record and the pregnancy wasn’t documented.”

Harry nodded contemplatively, “So did you find that she’s actually supernatural, or?”

Tamie shakes her head and frowns, “Not yet. But, Harry, we are very sure she is. We’ll find out soon enough, but we did have an issue trying to extract a small bit of blood from her so we could take a DNA test.”

“You… what? When did you attempt to do this?” Harry had been with you for most of the last few days. He’d only been away with Aim and right now of course.

“A few hours ago. I went to her home and found her in her bedroom but she got spooked. I was invisible to her but it’s as if my presence had her on edge suddenly. I attempted to touch her with just my finger, as a test, to make sure the touch binding spell was working, but she felt me.” Tamie shook her head and kept her eyes on Harry.

“Why didn’t you just try to go in at night while she was sleeping?” Harry gave Tamie a look of confusion.

Tamie shook her head again and looked down at the paper and then back up to Harry, “It shouldn’t have mattered, Harry. You know that. If she were a normal girl, I would have already had that blood and it would be out for testing as we speak. But, now that we know the extent of her perception and her resistance to certain bindings and spells, I will try an attempt to do this again tonight when she’s in bed.” She lifts her brows as if to ask if he has any more doubts.

Harry had planned on going to see you after he was done with this meeting. He didn’t want anyone to know how fixated he’d become with you and so he suggested something else, “Let me do it. She’s become familiar with me, even trusts me. It will be easier for me to do it.”

Tamie smiled and chuckled, “I knew you would say that. I’d much prefer you to do it anyway. And just so you know, I’ll be watching. I already know far more than you think but I have no plans to share that information because that’s not what I been tasked for, unless you somehow interfere with the investigation then I’ll have to let Aim know about your little fascination with Y/N.”

Harry closed his eyes and tilted his head back. He’s such a dumbass sometimes. Of course the watchers know. Luckily it’s not terribly important that Harry is infatuated with you… yet, “Thank you, Tamie.”

Tamie stacks the paper up again and places it in the file. She tucks it under her arm as she stands up from her chair, “I’ll meet you here in the morning at 9 am to get the sample. Oh!” She stops when she’s near the front door and turns to look to Harry, “We haven’t found anything unusual with Enzo and Gwyn at this point. It looks like they went through illegal adoption channels because they couldn’t financially afford traditional, legal adoption. They seem to not be a big factor in this whole thing, but we’re still looking into it because we never know.”

Harry nodded and walked Tamie to the door, and they bid their farewells. Harry sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. You were on his mind constantly since he’d met you. He had a few more days, give or take, left before he’d need to have intercourse and he doubted that you’d come around by then. That was too fast and as far as he’d gotten with you, he knew you wouldn’t be ready by then. He’d have to go out and find someone to fuck soon. Perhaps Tamie because she would be quite convenient.

In the meantime, he just wanted to be around you again so he took himself to your location and found that you were at someone’s house, Miguel’s house, in his bedroom.

Harry stayed back as far as he could, in hopes that you wouldn’t pick up on his scent but he watched as you and Miguel sat on his bed and chatted. Harry didn’t like how close you were sat to him and how you were holding his hand.

“Are you sure you can’t come? This sucks, Miguel. It’ll be five days at the Falls. It’s so pretty there too.”

“I have to work, Y/N. I couldn’t take off. I know it’ll be fun, I wish I could go too. But you can call me and we can talk every night and you can tell me all about it. How does that sound?” Miguel lowers his head to you to get your eyes on him.

You smile and then let go of Miguel’s hand and lean back with your palms flat behind you, “Amanda and Sarah will be there, so it won’t be bad. Would just be nice if all of us could go together.”

Miguel puts a hand on your knee and squeezes. You are immediately thinking about Harry and how he was a little touchy-feely with you. In fact, you feel like you can smell him a little and you sit up.

“Did you get a new cologne?” You ask Miguel.

Miguel shakes his head, “No. Not wearing cologne right now anyway. Just deodorant.”

You shake your head casually and look around the room. Your head stops and your eyes are directed right toward where Harry is in the room. It’s like you know he’s right in that spot. Harry is sure there’s something about you that’s supernatural. It can’t be denied anymore.

He watches you as you cock your head and squint your eyes, still staring in Harry’s direction, and then you smile and shake your head. Your thoughts are taking you to places they shouldn’t go. Harry’s been on your mind too much and you were worried about it.

You suddenly had the urge to text Harry and invite him to the five day conference at the Holy Falls Forest. Every year, in the summer, your dad and other pastors and leaders host a conference at the tabernacle at Holy Falls. It’s like summer camp for church goers. Morning meetings and prayers, a free afternoon with lunch, then a later afternoon meeting with worship and then evenings free to swim and hike and do whatever you felt like. You loved the grounds at Holy Falls. It’s beautiful and endless. It truly feels like a getaway and you always feel refreshed after attending.

“Miguel?” You suddenly say looking at your boyfriend.

“Yes?” Miguel grins at you and turns his body so he’s facing you.

“Do you want to try kissing? I kind of want to know what it feels like.” You truly were interested in how it would feel – in real life. You would never admit to Miguel that you kissed Harry, the man he thinks of as a stranger and who you’ve been texting the last couple of days, even if it was just in a dream.

“Yes. Now?” Miguel sits up in excitement. He’s been ready. He’s been dying to kiss you.

You nod and bite your lip, “Yeah. Now. Just like a little.”

Miguel scoots his body right next to yours and takes the back of your head into his hand and leans in, “Okay… I’m gonna kiss you…” he closes his eyes and puts his lips onto yours.

Harry rolls his eyes at the ridiculous scene before him. He can practically feel Miguel’s excitement from his spot in the room and he watches as you keep your eyes open and then look up to the ceiling and move your lips slowly.

Miguel moans and you furrow your brow and then push him back and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and laugh, “Okay… enough for now.” You look at Miguel and he’s clearly disappointed that that was all he got.

“Oh… okay. Well, whenever you want to try again, I’m ready.” He laughs and keeps his eyes on you, hoping you’ll want more but you really don’t. You didn’t exactly enjoy what Miguel just did. His lips were too hard and he was too eager. It didn’t feel like it felt in your dream with Harry. But you tried to shake that thought from your mind because that was just a dream.

You stand from Miguel’s bed and turn to him, “I’m gonna go home. Dinner will be ready soon. I’ll see you Sunday?”

Miguel frowns, “Oh… yeah. I mean, you don’t want to hang out on Friday?”

Your eyes widen and you just remembered that you were going to hang out with Miguel on Friday but you’d tentatively also made plans with Harry to go to see your sister’s boyfriend’s band. You’d forgotten about Miguel when you told Harry about that and he seemed interested.

“Uh, maybe… I forgot I was supposed to do something with my sister on Friday, but I’ll let you know if that changes. Maybe I can see you Saturday after you get off work?” You feel bad but not bad enough to cancel plans with the tattooed man. You kind of liked that you had a secret and that it involved Harry. And Harry was pleased.

In your bedroom after dinner you turned on the radio and walked around your room. You went to your closet and began talking to yourself, mumbling things Harry almost couldn’t hear. You pulled out clothes and laid them on your bed and tilted your head looking at your options.

You wanted to figure out what to wear to see Harry on Friday. And then you were reminded that you were going to invite Harry to Holy Falls.

You picked your cellphone up from your nightstand and texted Harry.

To Harry: Next Wednesday through Sunday there’s a big conference at this place called Holy Falls. It’s a beautiful place with a lake, hiking trails, waterfalls, and lots of nature. It’s super fun too!

To Harry: There are cabins to stay in and I think it’s like $100 for the five days and that includes food and lodging and all the activities. Do you want to join? I think it would be fun if you came.

You hit send and then turned back to your outfits. Wanting to look cute on Friday for Harry.

Taking your jeans and t-shirt off, Harry looked at the text you sent him and smiled. Of course he’d go, but he was distracted as he watched you take off your clothes and sample a few things in front of your mirror.

He wanted to get in close to you and put his lips on your neck. He wanted to land his palm over your ass as well. The little panties you were wearing barely covered your full bottom. He so badly wanted you. He would need to find a body to fuck soon. He hadn’t gone so long without having sex in quite a while and he knew you wouldn’t give in to him so soon.

You heard your phone chime and you quickly picked it up to read the text from Harry.

From Harry: Sounds fun. How do I sign up? Still on for this Friday?

You smiled and hummed with a big grin on your face.

To Harry: Yes, still on for Friday. I can meet you at the Union House where he’s playing - and if you come to church on Sunday I can get you a form to fill out so you can sign up and pay.

Harry smiled to himself. He watched as you continued trying on your clothes and talking to yourself.

“This one? Hmmm…” you turned to check out your bottom in the mirror. “Like that?” You brushed your hand over your bottom and smiled at yourself in the mirror. The scent of Harry lingered in your room still. You weren’t sure why it smelled of him so much but you also liked it. It made you feel quite excited. You couldn’t wait to see the handsome man again. You imagined yourself seeing him and what you’d say to one another. You wondered if he’d flirt with you. You wondered if your sister would like Harry or if she’d judge him. She could rude sometimes.

Your sister, Marianna, was quite protective of you. She was ten years older than you. Your mom had Marianna young, your dad was not her father. It was a little bit of a scandal some years ago when the congregation found out the truth, but your mom had been in love with a man before your father and she had Marianna but the man left them. Then your mom met your dad and the rest is history. They had you a little later in life, your mom was in her thirties.

After selecting your outfit for Friday night, you took off your bra and slid your t-shirt back over yourself and climbed into bed. You had another text from Harry you hadn’t seen.

From Harry: I’ll be at church on Sunday, then. Kind of didn’t want to wait to see you until Friday. What are you doing right now?

You felt your heart rate increase. It was past 11pm, and your parents were asleep. You could potentially sneak Harry in if he was quiet. You felt your heart flutter and your nerves peak with anticipation. Biting your lip you responded to him.

To Harry: Okay. Do you want to come to my house? My parents are asleep so you have to be quiet. I don’t think I want to leave tonight and drive anywhere.

Harry internally patted himself on the back. You were already inviting him into your house. Behind Miguel’s back. He could already tell Miguel was on his way out.

From Harry: What’s your address? I can come over now.

You squealed and fell back into your pillows with bright pink cheeks and the largest smile your face could allow.

To Harry: //location pin drop link//

To Harry: That’s where I live.

Harry watched your reaction and he was feeling quite giddy as well. He hadn’t felt excited about anyone in many long decades.

From Harry: Ten minutes away. I’ll text you when I arrive

You rushed off your bed and Harry watched you dash around your room to pick up, mostly just tossing your clothes into your closet. You slid on a pair of shorts and then put a bra on and the t-shirt you were wearing back over it.

Smoothing your hair out in your mirror, you smiled and checked out your teeth and then put your lip balm on. You did a dance-walk across your room and jumped a little at the end, only to turn and do the little walk again – your knees nearly hitting your chest as you tried to expend some of your anxious energy. Hopping around a little with a large smile on your face, you made your way to your window to look out and watch for Harry. You were curious about the kind of car he had.

Approximately ten minutes later a black SUV pulled up across the street from your house and then the car was turned off. No movement right away but you assumed this was Harry. Just then a chime from the text sounded and you pulled it up.

From Harry: here, out front

You squeaked and tossed your phone on your bed and quietly tiptoed through your house to open the front door for Harry. He was walking up to the house just as he saw you opening the door. You held a finger up to your lips as he entered and you closed the door behind him.

You gestured for Harry to follow you to your bedroom. You’d never really done anything like this before, sneaking someone into your house. But Harry was worth it. You really liked him and you wanted his attention on you. Something about him made you feel like you wanted to see him so badly that you’d risk getting into trouble. It had occurred to you, for a just split a second, that you would never do this for Miguel.

Harry was working on keeping his cool as well. His natural inclination was to just take what he wanted, because he wanted it. Desperately. But there was something about the chase for him, the challenge, that made you seem even more delectable.

In your room, with your door closed and the deadbolt in place, just in case, you watched as Harry took in your bedroom. Your room wasn’t much. A basic bedroom. You had a single poster up of the Rolling Stones (which your dad abhorred but your mother approved and her opinion always won out over your dad's) and a framed painting your mom bought you at an art fair a few years ago. You had a few little fun things around the room, but for the most part your room consisted of a bed, a dresser, a closet, a stand with books, radio, nick knacks, two bedside tables, a stand-up mirror, and a window with yellow curtains.

But Harry knew your room well at this point. He turned to you and grinned, “So, why’d you invite me over here. What does your boyfriend think about that?” Harry knew you hadn’t told Miguel. Of course you wouldn’t.

“Oh… well, he doesn’t know. And… I wanted you to come over because I can’t really go anywhere and you wanted to hang out, so…”

Harry tsk’d at you, “Liar. Are you telling me you snuck me into your parent’s house at night, into your bedroom, and locked the door behind us so no one could accidently barge in because I asked you what you were doing?”

You felt embarrassed. Harry was good at making you feel uncomfortable but strangely, you really liked it. You enjoyed him calling you out or saying things that made you squirm.

You swallowed and chuckled, looking down to your bare feet, “No. Guess not.” You spoke timidly.

Harry closed the space between you and softly placed a finger under your chin and nudged your face upward to look at him, “Then why?” He dropped his finger but continued looking at you, waiting for you to be honest with him. He knew why, he wanted to hear it though.

You inhaled his scent and it made you feel like there wasn’t anyone else in the world except you and Harry. You couldn’t get over it, how he smelled and how he spoke to you. It was like magic how you felt all these things for him when you’d never even felt this way about your own boyfriend.

“Because…” you breathed out, struggling to keep your eyes on his but determined to be open with him, because what did you have to lose? “I wanted you here. I like you.” You whispered the last sentence but Harry heard it loud and clear. His grin grew larger.

“Yeah? You want me around? Because you like me?” Harry loved this. Loved hearing you tell him that you liked him. He needed more, though. He really wanted to hear you just adoring him but he knew to take it slow. Harry was sort of eager to hear some praise from you.

You bit your lips and chuckled, looking down for a moment before bringing your eyes back up to Harry and nodded with your lips tucked into your mouth. You were embarrassed.

“It’s okay if you like me, Y/N. Sometimes you can’t control the way you feel for another person. Sometimes there’s a connection between two people that just can’t be ignored. Chemistry. That’s how I feel with you. The moment I saw you, I wanted to know you. We have chemistry. I think even Miguel knows it. There’s no denying is there? Do you feel it too?”

Harry brought one of his hands forward and brushed his knuckles against yours, looping a couple of fingers around your palm as he watched you and then let go. It was just a brief touch and you didn’t want him to let go. The touch from his fingers sent sparks of electricity through your hand and up your arm.

You grasped onto his hand that he just released from you and held on. You looked up to him and nodded, “Yeah. I do. I can’t explain it. What do you think it means?”

Harry squeezes your hand back and smiles down at you, “I think it means we try and find out what it means. Together. I don’t want to interfere with your relationship with Miguel, though. I’m not here to break up love. I just, I don’t know. There’s something about you, Y/N. It’s really up to you how we proceed.” Harry was proud of that spiel. Just emotional and dramatic enough that you were swooning.

Harry’s lips looked so pink and so plush at this moment. You’d noticed his lips plenty before, but right now, it was like… you couldn’t take your eyes off his mouth. And he noticed it too, the way you kept looking down at his lips.

“What do you want, Y/N? I know what I want but it depends on you what happens here.”

You nodded and blinked your eyes at Harry, “You’re right. I need to…” you sighed, and you knew it was the right decision, “… break up with Miguel. He wouldn’t like any of this and it wouldn’t be fair to him.”

Harry nodded and you watched as his eyes lowered to your lips and down your figure, back up to your eyes. It made you feel like you were floating away, losing balance, just the way he looked at you. He brought his free hand up to your cusp your cheek in his palm. He ran his thumb over your cheekbone gently. He looked over your face and down to your lips again. He still didn’t have you figured out quite yet but he knew he was getting close.

You could do nothing but to stand still, under his spell, looking into his eyes. Harry wanted to lean down and kiss you but he was stuck between wanting you to ask him and just making the first move. Sure he’d kissed you before, but you were under the impression that was all a dream. This would be real to you and he wasn’t sure how far you were willing to go. Fuck he was soft for you. If only you knew all the ways in which Harry has bent to your will since he met you, you’d realize he was an absolute sap for you. A complete fool. Even he wasn't quite ready to admit that to himself yet.

With Harry’s close proximity and the way he was looking at you, you thought he might lean down to plant a kiss on your mouth but he didn’t. You were a little disappointed. He seemed so forward and confident that you assumed he'd make the first move. You were a bit shy to ask him to kiss you. Even when you asked Miguel to do it, you had to brace yourself for spitting it out, taking the step to speak the words into existence.

“Harry?” You started with just saying is name. It could give you a moment to think about what you wanted. Buy you some time while you got up the courage to ask him to kiss you.

“Yes, Y/N. What is it?” He continued gently brushing his thumb over your cheek. But Harry knew you were struggling to work up the confidence to ask him what you wanted to. He brought his thumb downward to barely brush at the edge of your mouth, watching as your breath caught in your chest. He needed you to want it so bad you’d ask him. In all honesty he wanted you to beg him, that was his ideal scenario but he had a feeling that somehow you’d have him begging you at some point. You already had so much sway and power over him.

The feeling of Harry’s warm thumb grazing the edge of your mouth was the sexiest thing you’d ever had happen to you. You’d be imagining this moment for many years to come. The tall man stood before you patiently, silently waiting for you to speak.

“Do you want to kiss me?” You scrunched your face in embarrassment and looked down, but Harry’s hand on your cheek lowered to your jaw, which he titled upward. He didn’t want you to feel embarrassed or take your eyes off him.

With your eyes back on him Harry smiled softly at you, his eyes looking over your face and down to your lips, “I have been dying to kiss you. Do you want to kiss me?” He leaned in closer to you, just waiting for the word. He could feel you tremble from nerves.

You nodded and looked down at his pink lips and then back to his eyes, your mouth parting slightly at the anticipation. Your heart was raging in your chest and you were shaking as if you were cold but it was warm in your bedroom.

“Yes.” You breathed out in a whisper. Still feeling the sting of embarrassment at speaking such a thing to a near-stranger. But you felt like you’d gotten to know Harry well over the last couple of days. All the texts back and forth and the conversation at the café. He was no longer a stranger.

Yes, was all you needed to say. Harry brought his other hand up to your face, cupping both cheeks in his palms he brought you closer to him as he lowered his face to feather his lips over yours. You could feel his warm breath on you and his scent was strong and unlike anything you’d smelt on anyone. It was inviting and sexy. It made you desire to do more than just kiss him.

When you puckered your lips in an effort to press them into Harry’s you closed your eyes as your world spun out from under you. Harry began to apply more pressure and his lips were now in synch with yours. You brought your hands up his back and closed the space between your bodies so you could experience him fully.

Harrys soft lips were slow and achingly gentle on yours. You didn’t have much practice but your instincts provided you with just enough understanding to open and close your mouth around his lips, pacing your movements with his.

Harry’s tongue smoothed over your lips and you opened your mouth for him. He wasted no time in showing you what it felt like to have a passionate kiss that made you feel weak in the knees. The kind you’d read about or heard about. You hummed at the feeling of Harry’s tongue licking into your mouth and your senses were fading so that there was little thought in the way you moved with him. Your hormones led you and you stuck your own tongue out to participate in kissing Harry with more feeling.

Suddenly, with Harry’s lips still on yours, he nudged you back toward your bed. When the back of your knees hit your mattress you plopped down and Harry climbed right over you, moving you up your mattress. His hands were holding at your ribs as he adjusted your position, but he kept his mouth over yours.

You put your hands on his shoulders and kept your eyes closed, basking in the sensation of being kissed, really kissed. Harry reluctantly moved his mouth from yours and he gasped. You were a natural. He loved the way you kissed him and he wanted more. It made him dizzy and horny. Harry needed badly to take care of his sexual urge and he knew you weren’t going to provide him with any relief in the way his body required. Not tonight anyway.

You watched as Harry scooted next to you and sat upright with his back to the headboard, "Climb up, into my lap.” He patted his thigh.

You were quick to comply, crawling over him and spreading your thighs around his as you moved yourself up his lap and settled your bottom down, facing him. You put your hands at his shoulders and Harry grabbed your wasted and pulled you even closer to him so your centers were smashed together. Harry’s lips found yours again as soon as he had you as close as you could be on his lap and you both continued lapping at one another and feeling lust bubble from your insides.

It didn’t take you long to feel it. Harry under your shorts, pressing into you right where you like your fingers when you get yourself off. But you were clothed and so was he, so it wasn’t that bad, right? Out of impulse you softly wiggled your hips downward over him and Harry hadn’t really expected it, but then again, maybe he wasn’t too surprised. You were a horny little thing, he knew it. And now that he was going to be around you more often he’d see to it that you stayed this way, so that eventually, you’d give in to him.

Harry placed his hands at your hips and pressed you down over him causing you moan and you backed away for a moment. All of the features on your face told Harry you wanted him. Your dilated pupils, your swollen lips, the way your mouth was parted, pink cheeks.

“I can’t. I mean, I don’t know if we should do this.” You were referring to the tiny bit of dry humping that had begun. It was just a little but it had you aching to be put out of your misery. And Harry was aching as well.

“S’okay. We won’t do anything you don’t want. Only want you to feel comfortable.” Harry was dying inside. He could tear your clothes off and fuck you right now, take your virginity and get you pregnant with his child. You’d probably like it too. He could smell you.

You nodded and smiled, sliding your hands down to his chest. You really liked Harry. He was so sweet and so patient with you. He seemed like a man with experience. You were sure of it, yet he was here with you, a virgin. You couldn’t understand what he saw in you, why he’d waste his time with you.

You bit your lip and looked up at your ceiling. You were facing quite the conundrum. You wanted to know what it would feel like to do a little more with him, but you were scared to sin further than what you already had.

“Do you…” you looked back to Harry and took a breath before continuing, “um… like me? Like, enough that you want to get to know me more?” You didn’t know how to ask him what you wanted. You were about to break up with Miguel and now that you were doing this with Harry you wanted to make things official and fast so you felt less like a slut. So it all felt worth it.

Harry, being quite observant and intuitive understood your need to confirm his feelings for you over and over again. He knew you’d want him to ask you to be his girlfriend. Normally he’d feel like this was a silly thing, a waste and he’d do it only to secure a future lay, but you were different and he couldn’t lie and tell himself this didn’t pull a smile over his face.

“I do like you. A whole lot. I already told you, there’s something about you. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same now that I’ve met someone like you. What about you? Do you like me too?”

You quickly nodded and sighed at his words, “Yes! I really do. I feel the same, Harry.” You smiled and Harry nudged his nose to yours and kissed you again, slowly, softly, with just the tiniest bit of tongue that had your panties slick and sticky and smelly (you could smell and so could Harry).

Harry released your mouth, grinning at you, “Yeah? That’s music to my ears. You’re gonna make me fall in love with you, aren’t you?” Harry was piling on the lovey dovey stuff. He knew you’d like it. And the sooner he could make you fall in love the sooner you’d allow him to take your virginity.

You giggled and shook your head, “You’re not serious.” You laughed out as you spoke.

Harry titled his head to the side and squinted at you with a frown, “Why don’t you think I’m serious? Have I not shown you how much I like you since day one? I really, really like you, Y/N. Like, more than you understand.”

You swallow and your heart is swelling at his words. He really likes you. It makes you feel gooey and melty and so excited.

“I don’t know. I just feel so, like, this isn’t real. Like you’re a dream. Like you’re too interesting and smart for me.”

Harry’s frowned deepened, “Fuck that. You’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met, Y/N. Don’t sell yourself short like that. And this is real. Get used to it.”

A ghost of a smile fell over your features at Harry’s words. He was making you blush and you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.

Harry squeezed at your hips and then brought a hand up to cup the side of your face again, brushing his thumb up and down your cheek, “In fact. I want you to be my girlfriend. I know you haven’t broken up with Miguel, but I want you to be mine. Do you want that too?”

This was what you wanted. A confirmation of his feelings by way of commitment. You nodded, “Yes. I do. I want to be with you. I promise I’ll break up with Miguel tomorrow.”

Harry couldn’t give a fuck about Miguel but he did want you to be his alone. He felt possessive over you and if he had the chance, he’d flaunt it in Miguel’s face on Sunday. He was quite thrilled by this idea.

“Yeah? You want to be my girlfriend, Y/N?” Harry dipped his face close to yours, his lips over your jaw and you closed your eyes.

When Harry peppered small kisses over your jaw and down your neck you panted and rocked into him. The way it felt to have warm, wet kisses drawn down your neck by Harry’s lips couldn’t be explained. And he was your boyfriend now. Everything felt so surreal and sudden but it was earth shattering. Nothing would be the same for you from now on. You knew it. There was a shift in energy around you and you were prepared for it because Harry was part of that. Harry wasn’t the kind of guy your parents would be happy about. They barely tolerated you dating Miguel. And you almost broke up with Miguel to make your dad happy, even though he never asked you to do such a thing. But, you knew it right now, if your dad asked you to break up with Harry directly, you wouldn't.

When you began to slowly shift your hips and grind over Harry he realized you really liked having your neck kissed. He gently licked your skin and nipped at you, sucking lightly and then kissing down further. You moaned and your core tingled in delight. You knew you were rocking yourself over Harry’s hard penis. He was hard for you and that sent bubbles and sparks up your body, knowing you had done that to him.

He felt so good under you and his mouth on your neck made your mind blank, your only concern was the carnal need you had for Harry. And Harry wanted you to get what you needed from him. Even if he couldn't get what he needed. He'd let you use his big cock to rub yourself over and find relief if you needed to.

Harry gently lifted his hips upward for you as he draped kisses all over your neck and up to your jaw. He was solid in his pants and it hurt a little to have you smashing over him the way you were. But he loved a little pain so it was no deterrent for him.

Your movements became a little more hastened as you humped Harry’s clothed cock feeling the tell-tell tingle of your impending orgasm. When you moaned a little too loudly Harry brought his mouth over yours and you felt like your heart was going to leap out of your chest.

With Harry’s lips smoothed over yours and your clit rubbed at the fabric of your wet panties over Harry you felt your body begin to give in to pleasure. You were at the point of no return now. If God was watching you, you couldn’t have cared in that moment. Harry was too good and he was all you wanted.

Harry’s lips on yours caught your moans and you began to see stars as you rubbed your clit just right over his firm penis. The friction was perfect and your orgasm boiled out into your panties and over your thighs.

Harry had to cover your mouth with his hand. Kissing you wasn’t doing the trick in keeping you quiet. He knew you were coming and his own heart was pounding from the experience with you. He couldn’t come like this. Harry needed a bit more, but he was certainly pleased at how you’d given in to him, even if it was just dry humping. He realized he had quite the effect on you and that fed his ego quite well.

With his lips at your neck and his hand on your mouth you groaned into his palm at the feeling of coming like this. It was a first for you. It’d always been by your own hand in private. But this was better than doing it alone.

When you’d finally quieted down a bit and stopped your hips from moving Harry released your mouth. You lazily opened your eyes to look at the man with dark pupils and flared nostrils. He was so turned on and horny it was ridiculous. He’d need to find a way to release ASAP. Tonight.

Harry tried to be as gentle and caring with you as possible when he took a sample of your blood while you were coming. It was easy. He took what he needed quickly, completing the task for Tamie.

He also tried to be as gentle and caring with you as he made an excuse to leave shortly after you'd orgasmed. He tucked you into your bed, kissing your face all over, and told you he’d let himself out. You were nearly asleep by the time Harry was already reaching out to Tamie on his way home to let her know he’d already gotten the sample. He was also motivated to call her over early so he could have a warm body to fuck. He needed a release immediately. After having you rub yourself over him like that, your scent all over him, the front of his pants still damp with you, he was in physical pain. And for his own health, he needed it as well.

Tamie questioned Harry at first, “I can come over in the morning to get it, as we planned.”

Harry shook his head and adjusted his heavy cock, “Can you come over now? Please?”

Tamie knew the reason. She was aware of what had happened in your room and that Harry was left hanging. She also knew his health would suffer if he went too long. So, for the sake of balance and because Harry was very attractive (as incubi tended to be) she relented.

Harry didn’t take long to get right down to it when Tamie arrived. He was whining and groaning as soon as his pants came off. Tamie wasn’t a stranger to sex with incubi. She loved the feel of them. Their large cocks, the best in kingdom of Hell.

And because Tamie was a fallen angel, he didn’t need to prep her before slamming into her cunt. She could handle it, and it felt good.

Harry fucked her insides and kept his eyes closed as he drove into Tamie. He pretended he was fucking you, dipping down into your tummy and pushing your insides apart. Tamie knew what this was. Just a need to be fulfilled. Nothing more. She wasn’t hurt by it or turned off. No hard feelings. She was just a warm hole to get him off until he could get inside of you. But she was using Harry just the same. She had her own sexual needs as well. Tamie had no trouble getting her needs met, she was gorgeous and men fawned over her but it was always a bonus when the man was an incubus. Typically human men would be falling over her but sex with humans wasn't always what it's cracked up to be.

“Fuck, Harry. Yes… ohhhh…” Harry slapped his hand over Tamie’s mouth. He didn’t want to hear her voice, only yours. Hearing Tamie’s voice and not yours nearly ruined his orgasm. He began to tremble as he was about to come. And as much as he was using Tamie he still wanted her to get off (for his own ego). He was desperate to come, hadn’t been so worked up in a long time. In fact, this was the first time in many long years that he had to hold himself back from coming too soon.

“Come on my cock, Y/N. Let me feel you…” he had no shame in calling Tamie by your name and Tamie was too far gone to even worry about it. She nodded and slid her hand down to her clit to speed up her approaching end. She squeezed her eyes closed as she came and moaned into Harry’s hand loudly.

As soon as Harry felt Tamie pulsing around him Harry released into her, driving his cock deep and stilling his hips, come coating her insides. Harry could control who he got pregnant. His sperm would only impregnate when he was ready for it. This was just for sex. This was just to release. It was needed. Necessary.

Harry sent Tamie on her way with the sample of blood and he finally felt normal again. He really needed that. He hadn’t realized going five days without intercourse (something he hadn’t done in many hundreds of years) would take such a toll on his mind and body. He felt like he could think more clearly and breath a little better now. He just hoped you’d be ready for him soon. He didn’t want to be putting his cock in anyone else at the moment. Not that he didn’t enjoy Tamie’s cunt. She felt very good around him and she was pretty but he only wanted you. Only wanted your scent covering him, your moans filling his ears, your eyes on him as you came… He couldn’t wait to corrupt you.

Part 6*

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#harry styles smut #incubusrry #incubus!harry #demon!harry #dark!harry #virgin!reader #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fiction

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thelegendofhino · 8 months

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Hino analysis time

Aka why i think its strange that Hino is handled the way he is in both games (in a good way)

This ended up being a long post sorry. Tldr, hino is a unique case for how npcs were handled between botw and totk and seems to have the potential to play a larger role just in general but never does.

So i've been thinking a lot about hino (as i do) and noticed that while some npcs that arent involved with anything seem to have changed significantly between botw and totk, for example, spinch and joute, others are mostly the same, such as hino and mezer. Other npcs that stayed almost completely the same are usually ones that were involved in some sort of quest, such as magda with the flowers and loone with her love of ancient things.

Spinch is a traveling npc in botw whos defining trait is that his horse is also named spinch, however his horse is nowhere to be seen in totk (though im not sure if this is just a case of npcs horses not being predetermined) and is also not mentioned by him as he now only stays at the lakeside stable. Joute is another traveling npc in botw who says he prefers horses (or "horsies", as he says it) over people, and seems to be pretty reclusive overall, but in totk hes part of the group of people who get sick from food poisoning and doesnt mention any sort of preference towards horses, and his horse is also not seen.

Magda is still obsessed with flowers and can still supposedly hear them speak, but she doesnt attack you anymore (as far as im aware) and is involved with one of the zelda sighting side quests. Loone is still obsessed with ancient stuff but is focused now on the three leviathan skeletons, which is its own set of side quests. Mezer is another npc like this where he used to sell meat but now he does not sell meat and instead just travels, but still does have his focus on meat, and is also involved with a quest about marbled rock roast.

Hino has been studying the blood moon in both games, though in totk his focus is currently on how monsters function, hoping that something about monsters will tell him anything about why they get revived by the blood moon. His character is mostly the same, but his obsession with the moon in general seems to have grown since botw.

For example:

The first two pictures are from totk. The third picture is from botw. In totk, hino refers to the moon as "she" and "her", unless its a blood moon in which he only uses "it", while in botw he only uses "it". He also tends to focus more on the moons beauty now than he did before, with two of his moon phase comments in botw not really having much to do with the moon itself or how he personally feels about it (specifically, his full moon and cresecnt moon dialogue). But overall, his character hasnt changed too much, as his main traits are still very much focused on. With this in mind, it would make sense that he would be significant in some way, or at least directly involved in a quest, like how magda and mezer are, but he isnt.

Once you finish the zora's domain regional phenomenon quest, you can get a side quest from a zora guard named gaddison, who tells you about a monster fort on ja'abu ridge. The quest is just to clear out the fort, but she doesnt mention that there may be a hylian trapped in the fort. Despite this, nothing about the quest is focused on that fact, and the hylian does, in fact, turn out to be hino.

However, hino is also in 4 other forts in the game (there are a total of 6, but hino never goes to the one in hebra, which is also the fort that you can aid the monster control crew with), none of which are ever given any attention to the way this one side quest did. To me this is interesting because these other forts are a lot easier to access than the one in ja'abu ridge, one of the forts is not too far from lookout landing. And, if you save hino from all 5 forts before the next blood moon, he gives you a diamond as a reward (only for the first time you do it). It seems strange to be rewarded like that for something that is not a side quest or side adventure, never really given attention to, and completely optional and easy to miss. Nothing bad happens if you never save hino. He doesnt end up in the forts in any particular order. Its something most players would never find out about.

Hino can also be mentioned by the npcs who read the newspapers, bringing up how there is someone who researches the blood moon who seemed excited to check out a monster fort but that they seem like they wouldnt be able to defend themself. That is the only way you'd find out that someone is captured in a fort if you didnt get gaddisons quest (and assumed hino wouldnt just go to andifferent fort afterwards) or if you didnt just happen to come across hino yourself. From what i remember, this is the only case of an npc mentioning another npc like that, especially one that isnt involved in a questline at all.

So then, why have any focus on hino if he isnt really important to anything? In botw hes even less involed with anything going on, staying at the dueling peaks stable, but hes also the only npc that'll explain the blood moon to you, as hes the only npc who is researching it, or even cares about it at all. My assumption is that he would probably be useful for that one shrine quest that you have to wait for a blood moon to happen, and also to plan ahead to make meals with better bonuses (since the blood moon does that for some reason), but nothing more. Nobody else at the stable mentions him, no other npc mentions him, nobody talks about anyone researching the blood moon. The closest thing we have is that when sagessa is at the stable, she'll sometimes point out that most people that stay there are twins. Hino is the only one who stays at the stable constantly who doesnt have a twin. In totk, more npcs will talk about the blood moon (symin reveals how the blood moon gives you bonuses when cooking which is how i found out about that, and the captains will talk about how the blood moon revives monsters) and yet hino is nowhere to be seen (because he went and got himself captured). Now you cant really use him to determine when a blood moon is happening because he disappears after you save him, and once you save him from all 5 places he shows up in, he disappears entirely until the blood moon happens and the forts are refreshed. You can only tell if you happen to save him on a day that a blood moon will happen. Considering there are no quests where the blood moon is necessary, there probably wasnt a reason to keep hino around for the same purpose, though he does still talk about the moon phases every day like he used to.

Now, the main thing about hino that is interesting that is also fairly easy to miss in both games is that, not only is he the only one who is researching the blood moon, he is also the only npc in the ENTIRETY of both games that is affected by the blood moon. Its a little bit different in both games and ive already made posts about everything that happens to him, but basically he goes crazy and his text turns red, something that doesnt happen with anyone else in either game. It seems to be a full on physical reaction, not just him getting overly excited or agitated, but rather something that is indeed paramormal, and yet somehow partly disconnected from malice and gloom. And this is NEVER acknowledged in either game. By anyone, not even him. He'll at most say that the blood moon makes him "feel alive", but the way that he acts is a lot more... intense than just that, and to never acknowledge it fully seems to imply, to me at least, that he isnt actually fully aware of what happens to him.

But why focus on that part of him and then never do anything else with it? Why make him the only one like that? Why make him the only one who gets captured? Why make him seem like he should play a bigger part?

I dont know! And thats the frustrating part. Everything about him in totk wouldve worked as a side adventure, and yet. Nothing. It even wouldve made sense to have him in lookout landing just because he can tell when a blood moon will happen and im sure that would be very helpful for the monster control crew to be able to prep in advance. He just seems like he would have some part to play in something, but he doesnt. You just rescue him over and over again (something he himself points out) and you just get rewards over and over again without end, similar to addison who gives you similar sets of rewards every time you help him but has a point where there is nothing else to help him with. Its just so odd that thats just the way it is with him.

Even we know so little about the blood moon. Its implied that its a seperate thing from the whole demon king thing that happened, so we just have no idea why it happens and why it functions the way it does other than a great evil power can harness the blood moon to their advantage, like ganondorf did. And for some reason, not a single person in the history of hyrule for whatever amount of time that botw and totk takes place in has ever cared enough to figure anything out about it except hino, and because of that he has absolutely nothing to work with except his own observations and so nothing he tells us about the blood moon is anything we dont already know. I guess it doesnt really help that he doesnt seem to talk to people all that much, considering nobodys ever cared to help him with it either or try to find where he is. He just feels like more than just some guy with a hobby, like he can offer more to us if he was just allowed to. But hes just a really weird npc that seems otherwise normal... and hes my most favorite character in both games because of it.

#i promise im not just biased i thought very hard about this #vpost #hinoposting #legend of zelda #botw #totk #hino

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upon-the-waters · 2 years

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Finding the Divine Daughter

Aka, I’ve finally come to the end of the spiritual tailspin I’ve been in since last October.

TL;DR (So many of my posts need these because I am a writer at heart, and I don’t want people getting annoyed at my paragraphs clogging up their feeds): I’m kind of obsessed with the way the Holy Spirit and the Christian perception of Divine Feminine has some parallels to the Mother and Daughter in Filianism. So I’m going to talk about it, with a lot of words. A LOT of words... You’ve been warned.

First off, in some Gnostic sects there’s the concept of Sophia’s daughter, Zoe. If Sophia is Divine Wisdom, Zoe is Divine Life. But yet, Zoe and Sophia are also two different ways of looking at the same entity-- a Mother and Daughter, that are also as One. A Gnostic interpretation of the Book of Genesis states that the Holy Mother Pistis Sophia sent forth the emanation of Herself, Her Daughter, Sophia Zoe. I’m going to make a quick clarification here, and that is that Sophia, or Lady Wisdom as spoken of in the Bible, and the Holy Spirit are the same entity. So already we have Sophia/Holy Spirit spoken of in Mother/Daughter terms. However, this is just within Gnosticism, and I personally have a lot of problems with Gnosticism (the amount of patriarchy still in it, but also its demonization of the material world, which I believe God created good). And while Zoe was the catalyst to the research that led me to discovering Filianism, to me the parallels don’t stop there.

Within the Bible, Sophia Herself is often characterized as a Daughter-figure, as She tells us in the book of Proverbs that She was birthed by YHWH before creation. Catholic tradition also equates Sophia with Mother Mary; I believe Valentin Tomberg in particular referred to the Divine Feminine as Maria-Sophia. To me, Maria-Sophia-- or Dea, to use the Filianic name-- is already pretty clearly Mother, so my research focuses primarily on finding Her Daughter aspect.

Sophia is also often equated with Shekinah, the Kabbalistic Jewish title for the Presence of God. According to the Northern Way website, where I first learned of Shekinah, She is the Mother, but I think it makes far more sense to see Her as the Daughter-- the immanence of God as opposed to the transcendence. Shekinah is also seen by some as the Bride of the male God, who was lost in the wilderness as a result of humanity’s fall from grace. However, there is an implication that this was actually voluntary on Her part, as she chose to remain with humanity and share in our sufferings-- much like the Holy Daughter. In fact, I’m almost positive the Janite website used to refer to Shekinah as a way of looking at the Holy Daughter, but I’m unable to find it after crawling through the Wayback Machine for a while... they do, however, call the Holy Daughter Zoe Sophia among other names!

There is a very clear parallel between Shekinah and the Holy Spirit-- both of them are said to have descended down to us and given themselves to us. They are both said to be the Soul of the World, the spark of divinity present within creation.

St. Hildegard writes of two aspects of the Holy Spirit-- Sapientia and Caritas, Wisdom and Love. To make these names easier to pronounce, I translate them as Sophia and Charis. It is my belief that these two aspects of the Holy Spirit are the Celestial Mother and Holy Daughter aspects of Dea, the way She was seen by Hildegard and now by me. Sophia is the Creatrix, and Charis is the World Soul. Charis also means Life, not just Love-- I believe that Charis and Zoe are different names for this Daughter Holy Spirit, but I personally prefer Charis. St. Hildegard tells us that the Holy Spirit is both the sun and the moon. She is transcendent and immanent-- in Filianic terms, She is Mother and Daughter.

In the article I reblogged recently from the Chapel of Our Mother God, on Mary’s Immaculate Heart, Mary is equated to the Solar Mother. However, I believe that the Immaculate Heart shows Mary as both Mother and Daughter-- something the Chapel acknowledges when it discusses the Heart shown pierced by swords. Mary is also referred to as Queen of Heaven, which in Filianism is a title of the Daughter.

The Immaculate Heart is paralleled to the sun with its two fundamental qualities-- Warmth and Light. These two qualities correspond to the Divine Love and the Divine Wisdom, respectively, and are shown as the Immaculate Heart is both aflame with love and shining with wisdom. The Filianic Creed states that the Celestial Mother is Pure Light, and the Holy Daughter is Perfect Love. That is why, to me, Mary is the Holy Mother God, as well as the Daughter who suffered for us, intercedes for us, and brings us with Her to ascension as the Queen of Heaven, and parallels neatly with St. Hildegard’s writings of the Holy Spirit as Wisdom/Sophia and Love/Charis, my names for the Mother and Daughter Holy Spirit. Catholics are fond of saying that Mary is the Daughter of the Father and the Mother of the Son, and I like that (although I ultimately see the “Father” as genderless). However, they also call Her the Spouse of the Holy Spirit. To me, Mary is the Holy Spirit. St. Maximilian Kolbe basically says this as well, and that this is what the Immaculate Conception means.

Finally: St. Therese, the saint I credit with sending me on this crazy crisis of faith last year? She once said of herself: “My call is love... In the heart of the church, my mother, I will be love, and thus I will be all things.” Is it a coincidence that she eventually led me to finding Charis, Holy Love, Holy Spirit, Holy Daughter? Maybe. But I really don’t think so.

#i'm sorry this is so long #seriously if you read this whole thing I'm immensely grateful to you putting up with my thoughts for as long as you did #unless you're my parents my best friend or one of my past English teachers you've never braved my essays before so congrats #christian goddess #Sophia #Charis #Maria #tess rambles #but a LOT this time

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linawritestwst · 1 year

Note

congrats on 1000+ followers!! 🎉 may I request a matchup? I don't have any preference, my pronouns is she/her, zodiac sign is Virgo, and mbti is ISTP

personality: I'd like to believe I'm funny 🙏 I'm someone who laughs a lot (?) even at the most dumbest things as long I get it and I actually find it funny lol. I don't like being alone outside but at home I'd like to have some alone time, I just like to surround myself with people (ex. family) I like and I'm comfortable with outside of home (doesn't have to be a large group of friends either). I get super excited if I found someone who share the same interests as me (cause rarely all my friends do), I can probably talk for hours about my interests. But I'm also someone who gets bored easily (mostly toward games doe), and I get over things easily (like I could dislike this person's persona one moment and the next I wouldn't feel anything about them). I smile a lot around my friends but some say I have a rbf. I'm quite blunt and sometimes my mouth works faster than my brain. I find myself having a hard time trusting people with my more private worries but it's not that big of a deal. I'd like to think I'm someone who doesn't have a lot of worries (but ofc there's some days where it just hits but rarely), I just go with the flow. I'm pretty open-minded and is okay with trying out new things, I love having fun (doe I get scared by bungee jumping and stuff, I'd still try it out at least once). Although I'm not very open and chatty with strangers, I open up more if we have smth in common or we talk often.

interests/hobbies: playing otome games and visual novels, reading webtoon/manga (my fave genre is romance), reading fanfics and writing them

what I look for in a partner: someone who can make me feel comfortable, respects me and supports in what I want to do (someone who would slap some sense in me when I go down the wrong path too) and maybe someone who can make me smile and laugh, I don't have much of a preference as long I like them

what I don't look for in a partner: someone who doesn't respect me

thank you in advance if u did my matchup!! ❤️❤️ hope u have a lovely day 🌻

- 🦥

hi and thank you so much, i hope you have a lovely day too <3

the character that i think would be a good partner for you is..

idia shroud!

i'll explain why i chose him:

if it's easier for you to open up to those who have at least one thing in common with you, i think idia would be perfect to try and start a conversation with, since your interests are pretty similar. he may deny being a dating sim/romance manga and webtoon enjoyer, but i just know that he secretly likes this kind of stuff as well jdjdkdksddk. also he would probably think that you being a fan of a genre like that is actually kind of cute.

talking about your favorite games with him!! getting excited over them!! you don't have to worry about being annoying at all, honestly, idia is most likely the one who's more worried about sounding weird or making you uncomfortable. also idia might get scared of your bluntness at first, but to be honest, i think that could be a cute relationship dynamic? you two can be like 😐😥 also, maybe it would actually be better for him to know exactly what you're thinking because if you try to hide something from him or try to say it in a more polite way, he might take it the wrong way or he might start overthinking what you said.

if you like game/animanga memes or references, then sure, idia can make you laugh! he would send you a lot of these and when you tell him you laughed at them, he would go "YES Y/N NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME LIKE YOU DO >:D" but he really is happy about making you smile. he would try to support you as much as he can too, but if you think of doing something too reckless or dangerous, idia will be there to stop you.. though his definitions of "reckless" and "dangerous" may be different from yours. hey, don't judge him, he's just worried about you, that's all!

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twst imagines #twst headcanons #twst x reader #twisted wonderland matchups #twst matchup

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polandwithoutla · 1 year

Text

Around this time of year marks 4 years since I realized I am trans.

I always knew I wasn’t a girl, and deep down I knew I was always a boy, I just didn’t really want it to be true.

I was told I was a girl, and I wanted to believe it.

It would make everything so much easier and less complicated if I were who I was told I was.

I didn’t mind being labeled as a girl, honestly. I liked all the pretty girly things. I liked playing dress up. I liked flowers. I liked tea parties and princesses and fairies.

I didn’t know that I could like those things and still be a boy.

I also liked trucks. I liked ninjas. I liked mud and dirt and worms.

But I did know that girls could like those things and still be a girl.

But when my body started changing, everything got flipped upside down.

Girls didn’t have balls.

Boys didn’t have boobs.

Girls didn’t have muscles or deep voices.

Boys didn’t have periods.

Girls shouldn’t have body hair.

Boys shouldn’t be pretty.

Girls and boys were different, and I fit the description of a girl.

But it wasn’t right.

I liked being with the girls in my class, and I still prefer it.

But I’m not a girl.

They are girls, but we are not girls, and I am not girls.

But I don’t really fit with the boys either.

The boys have muscles and facial hair and bulges in their pants.

I have bulges on my chest and a pad in my pants.

I first heard of a trans person when Kaitlyn Jenner came out and changed her name.

Most people were annoyed, disgusted, or confused.

I didn’t know what to think.

My friend said her dad said Kaitlyn was a “shemale” which is a person who is a man and a woman. (It’s also completely outdated and offensive term, by the way.)

I found it quite interesting.

I’m not sure when or how I truly figured out what “transgender” really meant, but I remember the day in 6th grade when my friend explained that he was born with female parts but was actually a boy, which made him a trans female to male person.

But I also remember him saying he didn’t want male genitals.

But I did.

It was about a year after when I realized who I really am, at least in the terms of being a boy.

I remember taking a bunch of “Am I Trans?” quizzes and reading a bunch of articles and watching a bunch of videos.

I cried when I accepted the truth.

I cried because on one hand, I was relieved.

I was relieved to figure out why I felt the way I did, and to know that there were ways that I could be happy.

I cried because on the other hand, I didn’t like it.

I didn’t want to deal with transitioning and transphobia and the whole “coming out” process.

I was upset to discover that the suffering would continue.

The first person I told was my counselor, and it was also the first time I said it out loud.

I wanted to tell her because I didn’t know how to say it, and I knew she would help me.

That same day I told my mom, and she did not react the way I expected.

Neither of my parents really reacted how I expected.

But I also didn’t know what to expect.

And that was very scary.

I came out to most of my friends over text, but they usually just figured it out on their own before I even told them.

I think I’m done with “coming out.”

I don’t have to explain that I’m trans and it means this and it feels like this and for example this and yadda yadda ya.

All I have to say is hey here’s my name and pronouns, and I’d prefer if you referred to me as a man.

But unfortunately, even that is super difficult.

And I hate it.

People make the whole trans experience out to be something that it’s not.

It’s way more complicated that anyone really talks about.

Sometimes it feels like the only thing it is is complicated.

I don’t really understand why I have this body, but I also don’t know why I have this brain.

All I know is that this,

this is me.

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randomwritingsfortheworld · 1 year

Text

Online Dating

brief description of a nude, and the normal terms for private parts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When he came back, Bucky found himself fitting in well with Steve's new group of friends Natasha and Sam, despite the rough first encounter. All of them were smart and snarky. It made him feel normal until Steve asked if he had found a date since coming back.

"Uh, not really." He shoved his hands into his pocket as he followed the group outside. Even though it had been a while since everyone came back from the blip, Bucky hadn't thought about dating.

Nat laughed as she kept pace with them. "With how much Steve said you were a flirt in the past, I'm surprised."

"A lot's changed since then." Bucky mumbled, avoiding her stare.

Her grin grew as Steve gave her a stern stare knowing what was coming next. "I can help set you up with someone."

"I don't know if they would like me." He thought about his current life. Dr. Raynor told him to go and be social with the civilians so he could adapt better but he just didn't want to since he was fine with the group of friends he currently has. Having to get to know another person who didn't understand the life of a superhero seemed like a tedious task. He might change his mind if someone he was really interested in came along, but no one has. Having Nat introduce him to someone, might work but he wasn't completely sure he wants to try again yet.

Sam chuckled as Steve nudged Sam's arm with a scowl. "What? I'm not surprised. His staring scares people away."

"Have you tried online dating?" Nat decided to distract Bucky before the two got into an argument. "It's made for things like this."

Bucky glanced at Steve, who wore a deep frown. Nat had tried to get him to do online dating but he didn't like meeting complete strangers without getting to know them in person. Bucky shook his head as he looked back at Nat. "No, I haven't."

"Want to try it?"

Bucky wasn't sure if he did or not. Considering how little of a social life he had outside the Avengers, Bucky was certain he wasn't going to find someone the normal way. It was worth a try and he could always delete it if it didn't work. "I guess."

Over the next few days, Nat helped Bucky pick a site to try. They decided with his past a site for people who were blipped would be a good starting place. "Ok how old are you? And we can't put 107 years old. Do you have an idea how old you are if you don't include being on ice?"

"I…" Bucky never actually thought about it. He was silent for a moment while he tried to calculate that time but with the foggy memories without dates, it was hard. "I dunno? Maybe 33?" He had just turned 27 when he fell but after that everything was a blur.

"33 sounds good. What do you want to put in your bio?" Nat sat down next to him.

He glanced at the laptop screen, not sure how to answer. "I don't know…" He never really had to describe himself to strangers. "Never had to do that."

"How about we start with the basics?" Nat offered as her fingers hovered over the keys. She spoke as she typed a simple bio. "War veteran, blip survivor, prefers traditional dates where you go out to dinner or a movie and get to know each other, a romantic at heart." Nat glanced over at him to see if he objected so far. Bucky seemed to think it over as he read it. "I know people are adding pronouns in them. Did you want to add those?"

Bucky's brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"It's a newer thing where people tell others what pronouns to use to address them." Nat chewed her bottom lip as she tried to explain it so he'd understand easier. "Some people look like a guy but prefer to be referred to as a girl because they feel like they are a girl and vice versa, with a girl feeling like a guy. There are people who don't want to be called a guy or girl." Bucky's expression told her he was still confused. "Did you have people like that back in the 40's?"

Bucky went from confusion to contemplative. "In college, there was a guy who dressed in women's clothes saying they were more comfortable. Is it like that?"

"Did he want to be called a girl?"

"He introduced himself as Alex but we weren't more than classmates so I don't know."

Nat felt like he was getting the point. "Sounds similar enough. It's the same idea. They feel more comfortable being called by their pronouns."

"So calling a guy who wants to be a girl, her, makes them feel comfortable?" Nat nodded as Bucky fell silent. The world got more confusing. "I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with the pronoun thing…"

"Most appreciate you trying even if you mess up a few times." Nat reassured him. "There are some who will make a big deal about it, but I don't think you'd end up dating them anyways." Bucky gave her a half chuckle as she continued. "So did you want to add pronouns?"

Bucky thought it over. "Sure?" Nat raised her eyebrow in a silent question. "Guy pronouns."

"He, him pronouns." She mumbled as she added it to the bio. "Anything else you want to add?"

He was silent as he looked it over. There wasn't much else to add. It felt pretty simple and straight to the point. "Not really…"

"Alright." Nat uploaded it to his profile and switched to his settings. The two of them went over all the settings and adjustments before Nat had him download the app so he could use his phone instead of the laptop. It took most of the evening for Nat to show him how to match and reject people and where the messages would show if they matched with him before she let him use it himself.

Bucky completely forgot about the dating app for a couple of days after it was set up due to a short mission. Sam asking how the online dating was going reminded him about it. Later that evening while he was watching a show that showed how everyday objects were made he decided to at least try the dating app. Maybe he'd find a possible friend at least.

Bucky silently flipped through the profiles that appeared for him. It felt odd for him to judge them without ever talking to them. He was starting to think he wasn't cut out for the online dating innovation as the pictures got more bizarre. Why were there so many group profile photos? Were guns really necessary? Why a possum? The bios some people put didn't make it easier for him to understand. He had to actually look up what a few acronyms meant. Apparently people liked to shorten cuss words to a few letters too.

Bucky almost missed the profile since he was half paying attention as he swiped through. It was a simple one. The woman smiled at the camera against a beach background. Maybe she was a reasonable person? He read her bio to see if they would get along.

She/her, blip survivor, enjoys spending time on the beach, looking for a long term relationship with a dependable man, being comfortable with BDSM is a requirement

Bucky narrowed his eyes at the acronym. The way it was worded concerned him and he was a bit afraid to find out what it meant. Why was it required? Why would someone need to be comfortable with it? He chewed his bottom lip in deep thought. It was better if he knew what it meant before someone asked him out of the blue about it. That's what he used to convince himself it was ok to look up the threatening acronym.

Bucky stared at the definition Google gave him. Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadochism and Masochism. That made it even more ominous. They were opposites. Hoping to clarify, he clicked on the first article which happened to be from WebMD, whatever that meant. The title did include the word sex so he prepared himself for something terrible.

BDSM is a term used to describe aspects of sex that involve dominance, submission, and control. The practice typically involves one partner taking on a more dominant role during sex, while the other is more submissive.

Ok wasn't that normal sex? The more he read the more uncomfortable he got. Why would someone willingly put themselves in situations like that? His mind couldn't help but equate BDSM to his time being under HYDRA, even though it was outlined being consensual between both partners. There wouldn't be pleasure for him, just fear. He closed the article once it started talking about the different kinds of play.

Bucky went back to the app to decline her. After a few more minutes, he found another relatively reasonable profile without a BDSM requirement and decided to see if they were interested in talking at least. She sent a message immediately after he swiped which surprised him.

Hey

Bucky let his thumb hover over the keyboard as he thought about how to start a conversation with a complete stranger over the internet. Maybe starting simple? God he was so bad at this now. Hey. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too. You're a vet?

Yeah.

How long were you in?

Bucky chewed his lip. Technically he was only in the US military for a year before he fell, but he was now working for The Avengers, who kinda are military but for the whole planet. Why was his timeline so hard to explain? He decided to keep it to what was simple. A year.

Why so short?

I had an accident that got me out. It wasn't a complete lie. His fall was an accident and he never really came back for a while.

Must of been bad.

Haha yeah. He let the message sit in the bar as he thought of a question to ask her. You said you travel. Where have you been?

A few places. I spent a couple of weeks in Europe. I got to see Ireland. It was beautiful. Have you been to Europe?

The conversation was nice and he really did feel like he was getting to know her. Maybe the online dating thing wasn't as bad as he thought. You just had to find the right person to talk to. It was surprisingly easy to keep the conversation going once the awkwardness went away and they talked for a good couple of hours before the tone of the messages shifted.

You stay in New York?

Yeah. It's my home state.

Where at? I live in Manhattan.

I am in Brooklyn.

We're practically neighbors. Want to meet up?

I am free tomorrow.

I meant tonight. It's only a 40 minute sub trip to Brooklyn.

Bucky stared at the message. He knew the implication but he wasn't ready to randomly have sex with a person he hasn't even seen in person and just started talking to a few hours ago. I am not ready for that yet. Hopefully she'll understand.

No worries. Was testing you.

Testing me?

Yeah.

Now he was confused. Testing me for what?

To see if you were one of those that only wanted to fuck.

His brows furrowed at her message. He was offended she assumed he was but he wasn't going to say anything. Understandable but I don't go that far before I've gotten to know someone better.

You are an odd one.

That he rolled his eyes at. Sorry.

I didn't mean it in a bad way. Just never talked to anyone like you.

Is that a compliment?

Kinda yeah.

Bucky smiled to himself. Well thank you.

Cocky.

Very. He wasn't but it was easy to pretend to be in messages.

That confidence is gonna get you in trouble.

Usually does.

So a bad boy?

Who knows.

That just confirms it.

He softly chuckled to himself. This kind of flirting wasn't bad. Didn't say it did.

The tone confirms it you cocky asshole.

You are thinking too much.

Can't hide the truth.

I just did.

And here I was gonna give you a surprise.

Bucky paused. How was she going to give him a surprise? Did she know where he lived? Was she actually a spy? He started getting uncomfortable. Surprise?

Yep.

What kind of surprise?

Not telling.

Please? He wanted to know but was still worried how she was going to send it.

Hmm, I might be convinced.

What do you want? Bucky sent it and immediately regretted it.

Maybe a little tease?

Bucky stared at the message, pretty sure he knew where this was going but he wanted to make sure. A tease.

Don't have to show a full dick pic. I wouldn't mind just seeing the bulge.

A deep sigh filled the room as he closed his eyes and took a moment to collect himself. I am not that type of person. Sorry.

She didn't reply for a long moment. He thought she left him alone. Ok. What if I shared first?

What do you mean? Despite himself, he asked. Another regret.

I share a nice tit pic and you share a nice dick pic.

I already said I am not that kind of guy.

Maybe this will change your mind. And the next message was what she promised, a picture of her and her naked body with her boobs pressed together to show them off. Not gonna share back after this?

Bucky had no idea how to respond. He turned his phone to the side so he wasn't looking at her picture as he tried to process it all. This was nothing he expected to deal with. It took a moment for him to figure out what to say back. I don't feel comfortable sending a picture of my dick to a random stranger on the internet.

Wow. I have never been rejected so thoroughly even after sending that picture.

Sorry.

I can't decide whether to be impressed or embarrassed now.

I didn't mean to make you feel embarrassed.

It was my fault for assuming. Lol But I was curious to see what you were packing.

Bucky sighed. He wasn't sure how to answer without it sounding like he was bragging. It's nothing impressive. Trust me.

I doubt it.

You haven't seen it to know.

No but doesn't the serum enhance all of you?

Bucky's half smile dropped. What?

The super soldier serum. Doesn't it make everything bigger? It made Steve grow.

How do you know I have the serum?

It's not hard to Google your name. He forgot about that small detail. Before he could respond, she sent another message. I was hoping to see a super soldier dick. Oh well. You think Steve will send me a picture?

No.

You've asked him?

No but I know he won't.

Then how do you know?

I just do. Steve didn't even have a dating profile. He was more stubborn about meeting people in person than Bucky is and Nat couldn't break him.

Not very convincing.

Even so the answer is still no.

Then have you seen it?

No.

Not even back in the day? I bet you were curious.

Not even then. Bucky did manage to get Steve to talk about a quick fling he had while he was on tour and ended up learning more than he cared for about how the serum enhanced all of him. Bucky didn't appreciate being told Steve thought he couldn't fit and panicked but this random stranger didn't need to know that story.

Don't guys like compare dick sizes when they pee or something?

I don't look at other people's dicks while I use the bathroom. Now he was self conscious about other people looking at him while he went to the public bathrooms. Add that to his long list of things that give him anxiety.

I bet guys look at yours. Probably jealous at how big it is.

I doubt it.

Doubt they look or doubt yours is big?

Bucky sighed. He knew what she was trying to do and he was getting tired of the conversation focusing around penises. That doesn't convince me to share a picture.

Not even a little?

No.

I just want a little something to work with.

Goodbye.

Bucky took a second to find the button Nat showed him to block her just as she sent a message accusing him of jacking off to her picture as they talked. He closed the app as he let his head rest against the pillows with a grimace. Online dating wasn't for him. He wasn't ready to deal with that kind of stuff. It's not a bad thing to want to meet people in person right?

"Just have to socialize and I can avoid online dating for the rest of my life." Bucky put his phone on the charger and started the next episode of the show as he tried to move on from the whole thing. He'd have to ask Nat how to delete his account in the morning.

#bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #marvel #mcu #bucky fanfic #bucky trying online dating

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the-letter-horror-lover · 2 years

Text

However, he was caught by the girl's guilty look on her face as she lowered her head, savoring her ice cream.

"Don't worry, I'm just kidding." He looked at her in disbelief. When I asked you to take a seat, I texted a friend my reasons why he wasn't going today.

"Did you tell him about me?"

—Well… Not exactly… I said something else as a reference to something that happened yesterday in class. Nervous at his comment, he went on to savor his ice cream.

-Something happened?

“N-Forget it, it's not important right now.

Boruto couldn't tell her about his painful moments from yesterday at his own school; from receiving all kinds of attacks by his sensei, falling ill to almost dying in the middle of the exam and as if that were not enough, his nurse was hinting at him.

Things like that he would prefer to leave to himself, and more to a girl he was barely getting to know.

—Continuing with what was before, this place is a huge city where there are only schools for all ages, depending on whether they have the necessary requirements.

"And those would be?"

—Well, the most normal ones are that you have an average of at least seventy points. In the greatest of cases better ninety points. She continued looking out the shop window.

Uzumaki never lacked average, since that was one of the qualities most highlighted by those who knew him. Those years in which his mother educated him at home served a lot, plus there was a season in which he felt bored and motivated after spending his 8 years.

"And what would be the other conditions?"

"The last condition to enter." He paused briefly, looking at some of the students passing by. That would be that you have managed to have your Gift .

"Your gift?" What's that?

—Basically, that you have passed through your Awakening stage , the moment in which you are getting your Gift , Those people who get to have it, are easily accepted and allow them to enter a school here much easier 'ttebasa.

"I understand." The girl seemed much more satisfied with Boruto's explanation, but her face returned to a worried one. But, I still don't know what your gift is...

"In easy terms, it would be supernatural abilities," Boruto said. But of course, they are not abilities that are created as if by magic or without explanation, but rather through the branch of science.

"So those abilities were given thanks to scientists by experiments?"

The young woman's speculations brought a smile to the Uzumaki's face, as if he was seeing a little girl fully understanding things more advanced for her brain.

He did not consider her to be a fool or naive, but since she was someone who did not remember much, several factors were integrated that she had to take into account when explaining. And now, here she was, believing in things beyond her capabilities.

"No, nothing like that." A small laugh began to form on her lips. It was a long time ago in an accident, in which nobody noticed it in time in this same city years ago. There were exposures to a phenomenon, which was the trigger for research with the genetic change that came and from there it was concluded that our entire body can develop abilities; such as telekinesis, throwing fireballs, generating heat by controlling your temperature, having superhuman strength, talking to animals, etc. It's all done with science. That is why that phenomenon is called as Awakening into which one enters. You awaken the new human evolution.

"Now I see it very complicated, but I think I already get it." He barely smiled, looking carefully at his ice cream and then looking at Boruto expectantly. Uzumaki-kun, what skill do you have? What is your gift?

As soon as he heard that, Uzumaki swears he missed something at that moment. He didn't know very well what it was, whether it was her pride, the girl's good impression —which he was about to lose—, her hopes, the patience of being with this girl, etc.

The only thing he would like now was nothing more than to go to his apartment and lie down in his bed to sleep. She hopefully she might wake up and find out that everything that's going on is just a bad dream.

He didn't hesitate to lower his ice cream to the table, while looking the other way with a gloomy look and sorrow without leaving aside his smile.

“I have no ability. -She said.

-Hey? How?

Just listening to the tone of the girl's voice, it was more than clear that his expectations had been lowered to such an extent that he doubted that he was still expecting something great from him.

—I said… that I don't have any Gift… —he kept looking away without looking at her face out of pity and annoyance.

—Oh…

That was all Boruto could hear from her after what she said. He was sure she meant to cheer him up, that awkward silence he introduced was an indication of that. However, what was clear was that it was better not to bring it up again for the rest of the day. He didn't want to be reminded of her worthlessness just yet, least of all in the presence of a girl he didn't know.

๑๑๑

Since Uzumaki wasn't going to go to school today, he dedicated it to just being with the girl in some parts of the city that he frequented the most.

He wasn't sure if it had been a good idea, since it still wasn't fully resolved who had attacked her to end up in the garbage and with a serious injury.

She was afraid that the culprit would recognize her and then come for her to finish the job she didn't do. Although, it was lucky that none of that happened.

Both of them had spent their time seeing each of the parts of the city, even the uncontrollable stores that can be seen, but of course, nothing else to see and not touch, since if that were the case, Boruto's wallet would start screaming with bad feelings.

At the end of it all, Boruto's purpose in wanting to take a walk to many places with the mysterious girl Sumire, is to come up with a place that she has been and that would come to his mind once he saw them in person.

There was no result to his bad luck, but he kept doing it anyway.

In addition, he took advantage of this opportunity to teach him more about the surroundings and the city itself. She was definitely like a child with everything she saw, as if she was seeing it for the first time in her life.

She regretted that she couldn't buy him any other food like snow, but her economic status was in great danger right now.

At the end of it all he got some progress so that she wasn't so lost, but at the same time he didn't get anything on the subject of her amnesia. She knew that this was only going to be the beginning, but she didn't stop feeling it like an eternity.

They both arrived back at Boruto's apartment, however as soon as he arrived there was nothing but a wind and a temperature well below 15 degrees, this was too sudden for him.

"It can't be... I'm coming back?!"

In an unexpected way the light and everything electronic was working again, which was a great event for this day, however, his good mood ended when the questions began in his head; When did she come back? Had the weather been on for a long time? How much would you have to pay for it?

Again his trembling body was feeling not only the cold weather, but also the terror of the payment he would have to make now that everything was turned on.

He quickly started pacing around the apartment to turn off some things, and although there weren't many, he decided to do it because of the nerves he had right now.

In the end he managed to fall on his back in the room that was his bed that at the same time was his living room. Uzumaki was in an unfavorable and problematic experience that he wanted to end already.

On the other hand, the young Sumire was in the middle of the entrance of the apartment as she approached the worried boy. She had never seen him move at such a speed, which impressed her.

"Are you alright Uzumaki-kun?"

"I-I'm fine... You don't have to worry about anything..." Uzumaki answered between his ragged breaths. Although, the only bad thing is having to clean the whole place afterwards.

Now that he mentioned it, Uzumaki had never cleaned his room properly for two days due to distractions, and he followed him, but with the difference that his distraction is a girl. He didn't know if he should take that last as something good or bad, but whatever the answer, the result was going to be the same.

The best he could do was wait until tomorrow to clean up. She had experienced a very busy and troubled day, almost at the level of a babysitter, but at least she was able to survive.

"I guess I should get dinner ready." You must be very hungry by now, right?

"Well, I haven't eaten very well since you saved me," she said sadly, her head fixed on the bed. And where will you go to sleep? I guess you're going to sleep in your bed.

"That's the idea, but it wouldn't be the right thing to do in these situations." She looked at him with a smile. You can sleep in my bed, and I'll go to sleep on the floor.

Looking at her face, she didn't seem very happy with the decision he made regarding her sleeping place. As much as she would like to sleep in her bed, she had to be responsible for it, and that was in offering good comfort to a guest, and more so to one she saved from her.

—Don't look at me like that, remember that you are only going to be here for a little while until we know how to help you remember 'ttebasa.

“W-Well, that's true. Sumire said with her head lowered.

"Don't make that face anymore, okay?"

Right after that, Uzumaki grabbed the TV remote to turn it on to a channel he already had since before he had kept it on last time.

The astonished face of the young violet-haired girl reflected emotion and a good impression on the device they call television. Sometimes if she was very moved by the innocence of this girl who was in her apartment.

"By the way, forgive me in advance." He looked at her with a nervous smile, beginning to feel a certain contempt for her skills, which were so secondary in his life. I don't know how to make much more than just 'ttebasa curry.

His comment took the girl by surprise without looking away from him.

It could be said that it was something that she herself did not expect. Obviously, if a young man of more than acceptable years was living alone, he would have to at least know how to cook very well. But the reality was more than cruel for the Uzumaki.

“Hehe… It doesn't matter. I don't know what it is, but as long as it tastes good and made for you, you don't have to worry, Boruto-kun.

"So now you call me by my name and with an honorific…" He was very impressed by how much this girl was beginning to communicate well, despite the fact that they had only been meeting for a day. Don't you think you're being too trusting with a stranger?

"It's weird... I don't know very well." I don't know the concept of "Kun", but something tells me that I should speak that way… It's weird… —she said thoughtfully—. However, I don't care much, since you're the one who saved me.

He had once again commented on something interesting, however he didn't have the energy to dwell on this subject of honorifics.

On the other hand, she was right, that she had a lot of respect for him. Although, he saved her and she had reason to trust him, but also much more reason not to. He was just a stranger, so she shouldn't blindly trust someone just to be saved.

“Even if I saved you, it doesn't change the fact that we're still strangers who met today 'ttebasa. -She said.

"Well, maybe I want to say your name to gain more confidence."

"I wouldn't deny it, but I think you're taking quick, blind steps." Uzumaki looked at her carefully through closed eyes. He ended up sighing in defeat. We can start to get along very well when we know better who you are. Do you think it's OK?

There was no need for her to say a word. Just seeing her nod, Boruto decided to end the talk and continue to start making dinner.

Yes, there was a lot he didn't know about the girl, but that didn't mean that he really wanted to keep his distance from her, on the contrary, he wanted to be closer to this girl.

He wanted to be her friend and get along, but he couldn't just casually do it, since she might be anything but innocent now. Not until I know if she really is someone dangerous or not.

"Hm... I'm really hungry..."

He heard Sumire say it quietly, but he could hear her from the kitchen, which was very easy since she was stuck in the same room.

Glancing at her he managed a smile at the little quirk of his hungry stomach.

By now she understood that the only danger that she could present living here in her apartment, is nothing more than the fear that she might run out of food now that she will have to feed an extra mouth.

" I really wonder if I really made the right decision..."

To be continue…

A/N: Bringing another update, which I had time to post here today. I hope you liked this next chapter. This time I wanted to give a bit of context to how the world the characters are in is working. Sumire just said something very strange, maybe nobody noticed it, however it will be key for later. In addition, I also wanted to take this chapter as an introduction to certain things or concepts that she will give for later in the future.

That's all for now, and I'll know when I'll update the next chapter. I already have this arc finished, but I still need to review some things to get them out for you.

We read until next time!

Sayo!

Guardians of the Ninshū by BSmolerLOL

Anime » Boruto: Naruto Next Generations Rated: T, Spanish, Adventure & Fantasy, Boruto U., Inojin Y., Shikadai N., Sumire K., Words: 97k+, Favs: 2, Follows: 2, Published: May 18 Updated: Sep 2

2Chapter 5: Chapter 4: Guilt Made Karma

Chapter 4: Guilt Made Karma

Commonly when it is Saturday, one gets to feel all the weight that had accumulated throughout the week. At that point that weight is declining as soon as the whole stage of the morning passes, but on the other hand, Uzumaki did not get that feeling.

Despite the fact that only the morning hours had passed, I did not stop feeling all that accumulated weight, but not exactly because of the week that passed, but because of the last two days that had passed. Specifically it was more about finding the mystery girl he had in her apartment now.

I had no idea who he was or where he came from. The information from her couldn't even get it out of her, as she had amnesia issues. It was a dead end.

The only thing she could do now was just help him little by little to recover his memory. The only problem she had with that is not knowing what to do. The only thing she could do yesterday was just show him some places in the city, but nothing else.

Right now he was in a public telephone service on the street, waiting for the call to be answered. Once in a while he cast his eyes on the girl, who was sitting on a park bench.

She greeted him from afar, she seemed to be in a good mood today. Uzumaki sometimes took her for a carefree girl with little interest in things that would be involved with her. She supposed that maybe she was enjoying the moment.

The time to contemplate the girl sitting in the distance ended as soon as he heard the voice of the person who was answering his call on the other end.

—¿Boruto?

—H-Hello mother, I am very happy to hear your beautiful voice 'ttebasa.

—…

—¿Hola?

— What did you do?

-And me? She," she snapped at her mother's statement, while she tried to keep her calm a bit. I-I haven't done anything. I am very well and everything is very well.

“ If everything is fine, then there would be no reason to call me, right?

—N-It has nothing to do with the other…

“ Also, aren't you being nice?

"Haven't I always been?"

— More than usual, Boruto.

He knew very well that up to this point he could make a positive impression on his mother. There was no way to continue with the false innocence of his, and more through by call.

In the first place, she never thought of doing this to solve a part of her problems, but she needed to get out of this once and for all, and she couldn't think of any other way than to tell her mother directly.

"Yes, you're right…" he admitted with difficulty and sorrow, looking sideways at the girl who was sitting in the distance. To tell you the truth, I was wondering if you could help me with something that only you can 'ttebasa.

— Does it involve something serious?

"You could say so…" he laughed in between the conversation, scratching his head embarrassedly. More specific… Money.

" You don't have anything anymore?!

"It was for an emergency!"

Uzumaki confessed much more hastily, before sermons came out of his mother's mouth again that would be impossible to counter.

He had no choice but to spend what was left in his wallet, taking into account that the electricity was absent and he had no choice but to buy from outside.

—I had to use it a lot!… I had to use it to invite someone.

" Have you got a girlfriend yet?!"

-No, not that! He replied annoyed with a reddened face. She is a girl, yes. But he had to help her with a problem she was having, and it involved injuries… Now I'm on the pharmacy look, so…

" Huh... You really don't stop being the same Boruto, do you?"

-Sorry?

— You always like to be the hero..., or think you are... You never stop getting into trouble just for that. For that very reason you never stopped wanting to want your Gift to manifest.

—…

" Well, I guess it can't be helped that you're like that... You always wanted to be like your father, right?"

Boruto looked at the ground, thinking about his mother's words as he loosened his hand a little where he was holding the phone in the cabin. For a moment, his hand would regain its hardness, then hang up.

Something in him had wanted to go back again and take his own ways of doing things and solve everything.

No, right now he didn't want to let his proud side take over. He always held back from helping people, since he would rather solve them himself. But…, did he have the right to think about that?

Uzumaki Boruto had been yesterday about to let someone else manage to help the girl he had in the distance waiting for him. Perhaps a part of him was still doubting whether she was capable of good deeds.

He wondered if he doubted his ability because of the lack of his Gift. Could it be that if she had him, he would really help solve Sumire's problem? Saying and thinking was so simple, but she still didn't know if she could pull it off. She didn't even have a Quirk to help her.

He had no choice but to ask his mother for help with this. If there was anyone who had a big good heart, it was her mother.

-Can you help me? She asked trying to divert a little the subject that was being focused on by her mother.

There was a short silence after the other end of the call. Nothing out of the ordinary could be felt, but when a few seconds passed, a sigh was heard. It was more than clear that it belonged to his mother.

- Stop doing some things. Then I'll send you an amount of what you can occupy .

— Are you safe?

— You are my son, and the only thing I can do now is trust you and your judgment. I'm not going to judge you if you spend things to help someone, but try to be more careful in spending it.

-Yes that's fine. I understand.

She didn't think much about how things would turn out if her mother wasn't going to accept her help, as she was normally very strict about being more responsible.

It was all due to the above mentioned that she did. He wasn't quite sure how she must feel directly, but he more than agreed that he wasn't entirely comfortable with it.

A short time later, Uzumaki had managed to exchange a few more words with his mother, regarding how or where he would receive the money.

Fortunately, he received nothing but good wishes from her.

She wanted to pass the phone to her younger sister to talk to him, but she had had a bad time calling, since she hadn't been home. She had gone out with her friends, which made the Uzumaki a bit amused.

There was no deeper and less significant feeling than being unhappy not being able to talk to his sister. It's not like he'd end the world for not doing it, but he kind of wanted to, since she always bothered to text him almost every day.

His sweater really stunk a bit, and he was sure his sister's stunk too. For many things they were polar opposites, but sometimes like this the two were the same. They enjoyed it just as much when they lived together.

In the short time after, Boruto had already finished his business with his mother, not taking long to hang up the phone in the cabin and return to where the violet-haired girl was.

"How did it go?" She asked interested in the boy's response.

It had sounded very nosy to Boruto, but not so much as to take it as a bother.

—Everything went well. He told me that the money will come to me later in cash.

"Oh, that's good, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess." He debated it a bit, but he didn't complain much, since it didn't convince him that way. Anyway, why don't we go now?

-As soon? I thought we were going somewhere different than yesterday.

"Sorry, but in case you didn't know. Where I study they give us something that makes us waste time when we are on the weekend.

-Something? He thought for a while with a finger on his chin in an innocent and clueless way. Do they give you gifts?

—Could be considered gifts, if the Sensei who gave them was bad, but no.

—¿…?

-Task.

๑๑๑

Weekends at home become a holy blessing for believers in religion —whether for the word or something else in particular—, this was due to the long hours of rest that some highly prestigious student can have, yes, something prestige as many make them call.

As Boruto had recalled, in many of the most recognized schools of this great academy city, most of them have high levels of learning, which gives many days off for them, since they hardly need much to leave with homework for two days. of rest that supposes a weekend. Life makes it easy for them to have a Gift for anyone in those schools.

The misfortune of not having something like that in this city was something he didn't particularly like, so the part where he had to do chores for his Sensei wasn't too much of a problem for him.

Homework helped him take his mind off a lot of what was going on out there.

When he thought about that, Uzumaki wasn't aware of the change he had undergone now that he remembered it; he missed school one day and in such a regrettable way, his luck was affected until it became the situation he found himself in.

—How unlucky… Is my Sensei seriously upset for having missed only one day of class?

He didn't count on Senju Tsunade's anger for not going to class yesterday, giving him more work to do.

When he thought he had solved the problem with the money issue, which was possible thanks to his mother, but another one had come to take his place.

"So you're going to sit there the rest of the day doing homework?" the girl asked sadly.

"Yes, of course." Without taking his eyes off his writing in the notebook. We don't have much to do other than do what they tell us to pass.

"Is it difficult for you to solve it?"

"Sometimes yes, but most of the time it's easy," he answered, pausing for a moment for fear of the small trace of the hand for a cramp. I've already had a few years of home study after the age of 8, so I'm a bit more advanced 'ttebasa.

"Mmh... I guess that's what got you into Academy City, right?"

"Yes, that's right." The rhythm of his writing slowed down little by little until he was looking at his notebook. "Why did what she said just now make me seem somewhat less than almost everyone in this town?"

He'd had a bit of a problem with his self-esteem, but Uzumaki wouldn't go down too quickly. That's his way of thinking as he did what he was supposed to do, and he went on with what he was writing.

Sumire was already more than amazed by the Uzumaki's concentration on his schoolwork, so she decided to observe him for a period of time.

As the hours passed there was silence in the room, and then there was noise on the television that concentrated more on watching the girl. Not that it was too boring to see young Uzumaki doing his usual thing, but he wanted to know more about things through television.

He wanted to believe that some clue of who he was would be in some of the programs or in one of the many channels. Unfortunately there was nothing that I can recognize.

Boruto glanced at her once in a while for the silence she was giving, and he did the same for his tasks. He was content just to see her not say something to throw him off, yes, that's what he now admired about her, knowing when he shouldn't interrupt something.

As soon as 5 o'clock passed, he already took a breath to have enough energy to continue with the next thing, but he knew that if he took too long to rest, it would be very likely that he would drink more than he should until the end. point of doing nothing.

" Well, I guess I'll take about ten minutes." She psyched herself up, looking at the clock out of the corner of her eye.

It didn't make much difference when he'd last seen the time. Only about 23 minutes passed, but watching it too much would only feel like time slowed down a bit.

It had been a while since he hadn't heard anything from Sumire, however, as soon as he thought of checking on her to see how she was doing, she immediately stood up from the bed while having a slightly tired and lost look.

"Is something wrong, Sumire-san?"

"Er... Boruto-kun, can I come out?" She looked doubtfully into his eyes.

-Something happens? -I ask-. Is it that you were interested in buying something from television?

"N-No, nothing like that." Just... I'd like to take a walk, that's all. I think maybe it will refresh my memory. -She said.

—Well, I don't have a problem, but I don't know if you can have it 'ttebasa.

He had his doubts. She would be lying if she said that letting her walk calmly through the streets would be a good idea, since she wasn't sure if the person who had given her that injury was going to be there when she found her.

Also, she had amnesia. A girl with such a problem walking alone on the street is not something to be given up lightly.

Yet this, too, must be something he and she must take advantage of. If there's one thing the two of them should take into account, it's that she has to do things on her own. She wouldn't want Sumire to be depending on him all the time.

-Don't worry. I already familiarized myself with the route to get here,” Sumire commented with a proud smile. I will try to go to the places where there are people.

She looked at him with a smile. Boruto looked at her for a few moments, and although he noticed something strange in that face, he did not want to distrust the girl's words. If she said she was going to be careful, then she would be.

He was glad that she was becoming aware of the dangers that might be out there. Still, that concern was gone and she was still there.

-Wait.

He got up from the floor, walking to go to one of the drawers that had his bed underneath. In it he took out a small object which he handed to Sumire in her hand.

The girl's gaze was confused, but also shocked by what Boruto had given her. Although she was still more or less distant from the limited knowledge that she had right now about things, it was difficult for her to know what she gave him.

“This is a visitor's pass. They are used when a person from outside comes to Academy City 'ttebasa.

"And what do I do with this?" she asks without taking her eyes off the little card.

"You can use it to talk to a police officer if you have a problem," he commented, looking into her eyes. Give it to them and they'll call me here, since it has my phone number on the card.

-I understand, thank you very much.

He made a small bow towards Boruto until after turning around to go towards the door of the apartment.

He still had his doubts, Uzumaki, but trusts that she can stand on her own right now. She had to, or she was never going to get better at having the memories of her that she doesn't have.

As the door closed, silence returned in the apartment until only he was left, although apart from him, the little noise that there was was that of the television that was still on.

"Well, I guess I'll go eat one of the popsicles I bought the day before yesterday."

๑๑๑

It had already hit 9 pm and he was already halfway through his school work.

Every time he thought about it, his hope was becoming more inflatable, but time was also beginning to slow down, so he wanted to concentrate on what he was doing with more pressure.

“Really, I definitely won't miss a day of school on the weekends again. The Uzumaki said with annoyance.

After having finished one of the many paragraphs he had made after finishing making a summary, he looked curiously at the television to find out what he was wearing, since nothing had changed from the last time he changed.

Of course, the person who had done it was Sumire. That same girl who had gone for a walk, but she still hadn't come back. This alerted Boruto a bit to the point of wanting to go out looking for her.

He had given her exact explanations of what he would do if he was in trouble, but there was no sign in the next few hours that passed after his departure, so he trusted her safety and that everything was fine.

However, worry continued to fan the flames in his chest; that guilt of leaving her alone while he continued with her things, however, he was not to blame for her. If she, someone else, or another judged him for it, he would be right with her.

Despite all he can say, the only person who would be judging him for not going out with her to help her and only being home to put his homework on top of a girl's safety, would be himself.

She had promised to help him, and as annoying as this was, he really meant to help. Although, he didn't know if it was because of his sense of justice in giving a hand to whoever needs it... Is it that he felt guilt for not accompanying her, or because he was betraying her ideas?

He began to doubt if he was really giving effort for someone he doesn't know just to help her, or if it was for him to feel good about himself.

What did he want to prove by helping that girl?

Her mother's conversation on the phone came to her mind. Some of her thoughts of hers had reflected in the words she had mentioned, and more regarding her father.

-Crap…

He leaned back on the table while he just sighed tiredly, looking at his cell phone out of the corner of his eye and finding out what time it was.

"Well, she mentioned that she was going to be where there were more people," he said to himself, trying to find a solution to the absence of any sign of the girl. Besides, she would go to the police if something happened out there 'ttebasa.

Suddenly the energy that he had had today had suddenly begun to waste. He couldn't take the weight of his eyelids that only forced him to close them.

The worry, the guilt, the homework, the money you got back, etc. Everything triggered the wear of the Uzumaki until he was forced to completely close his eyes. He no longer had anything else to wake him up, so only time ran with him and his dream world.

That night, Boruto had slept such a heavy sleep.

๑

The next morning, the sun fell close to his face again, while his ears were only lent to listen to the birds singing outside the balcony.

His head was still leaning with his arms between him and the table.

His conscience was still groggy, blinking over and over again to accustom his eyesight. It was impossible for her to get up in seconds, but after waiting a couple of seconds, her body began to recover the strength that she had lost due to sleep.

Even with sleepy eyes, he was able to get a good look at the television that was still on, which made him annoyed with himself for forgetting to turn it off. This would increase the cost of his electricity payment, but now that he had received the money from his mother yesterday, he could pay it without a problem.

Uzumaki could feel great after that brief problem that he was able to solve. But he was still not fully awake.

It is then that he feels some weight, a little more than he has—in fact, no weight at all—on his back. He was covered by a blanket that covered his entire back. Reason enough to find out that he hadn't had a problem if he'd been cold at night.

He could only deduce who had put it. He was not an idiot. He understood very well, and even more so when he noticed another presence on the other side of the small round table.

He recognized her right away. After seeing that other presence, his sleepy eyes went like dust until he was fully awake from the shock.

It was already quite a surprise to see her there on the table and asleep. Boruto could barely control himself not to scream in fright, since she had entered without him noticing when he was asleep.

A person who did not know much entered his apartment as if nothing had happened; If someone says something like that I would also have a lot of things to say about it, but if you add the word girl, there would be a lot more problems.

—¿Sumire-san?

Her name came out of his mouth, and although he wasn't used to calling her with such confidence, he did it anyway, without taking his eyes off the girl. He was still sleepy, but he woke up little by little until he looked up and saw his face full of surprise and confusion.

"Good morning, Boruto-kun. She whispered to him.

Unfortunately, he could only hear her name and good morning between cuts, after she dropped her head on the table. She could feel the pain of that fall.

"Oh, I woke up!" He panicked, not looking at the Uzumaki.

"Sumire-san, it's me." He straightened up looking at her face. When you came?

He didn't seem to have the Uzumaki's attention, at least now that it seems he was still looking sleepy.

He stood up immediately from his seat, and continued to the coffee pot in the kitchen until he had two cups of coffee. One for him and one for her who was talking in a whisper without a break.

-Are you okay? -Question-. Here, I brought you some coffee.

"What is coffee?"

" Don't you know what it is either?" He looked at her for a few seconds. Just drink, it's something that will make you wake up 'ttebasa.

Sumire saw him with the coffee and continued to drink from it, but it seems she didn't like it. It was a little bitter, but at least that would make her a little more awake.

Normally for his preference he does not drink coffee in the mornings. He only drank a glass of milk and ate breakfast, but when he had to, he drank coffee. He only did it in some cases when he was still sleepy.

Giving Sumire coffee will make her wake up a bit so she's not sleepy, so she'd have enough energy to talk to her.

"Are you awake yet?"

-I'm not?

—I mean, if you're already a little more so as not to be sleepy. She clarified.

He did not receive an answer, but he did receive a sign of affirmation from her. She nodded as soon as she went back to drinking coffee, which she still didn't get used to, and Boruto doubted that she would get used to it quickly..

As soon as he sat down, he looked at her out of the corner of his eye, and even saw that her clothes were still the same as always. The kimono of her speaking and detailed with black and purple lines. Her hair was still loose but she did not lose her beauty as always.

"Now tell me... where have you been?"

Sumire's lost gaze had been forming to an uneasy one and it would be. She kept her head down, playing with the cup that had the coffee in it.

"I got out like I said, but I think it took longer than I thought…" he said.

"More than you thought?"

"I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to take so long," he spoke quickly without taking time to think about things without losing shame. Awawa… This is very painful…

There wasn't much to talk about from the looks of it, but Uzumaki was shocked when he saw her talk and confess her mistakes of being gone too long.

" Isn't he acting different?" He thought as he looked at her carefully, but without forgetting his surprise. "She didn't have that insecure personality when I last saw her."

It seemed like it was someone else. Another who could not know for sure if she was the same or not. However, she was definitely the same person, Boruto knew very well. He sensed it, and he felt it.

It had only been a short time since they met, but he knew very well how the personality of the violet-haired girl was going.

"Nobody attacked you?" He wanted to make sure of the most important thing.

No, no one did, but...

-But?

She was silent for a few moments with her head down, glancing at the television that was on.

Uzumaki didn't like that attitude very much, he didn't want to admit it, but his thoughts went to a scenario where she and some guys didn't attack him, but they treated her rudely while they were in an activity...

— "No, that's wrong!" He pressed his head hard with his hand. "Nothing happened to her, nor did that happen to her."

He was strong and observant to every single detail she had, but there didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary.

However, he worries that his hair is a mess. What did she do to make her hair look like this? Could she have been running around?

She soon thought of the idea that she had been victimized by some boy, taking her to a motel where they did… that. The idea only disturbed him, worried that his thoughts were leading him to that conclusion. However, a part of him believed that she wasn't involved in something like that, since she doesn't seem to be red-faced, or at least she gave off a funny smell.

Again he regretted thinking about those things, and more towards a stranger who was so innocent because of her amnesia.

"Is something wrong, Boruto-kun?" He tilted his head innocently.

-Nothing at all! Forget it 'ttebasa.

—…

He decided that later he should cool his head on that subject, but already forgetting and putting aside all that, he was sure that she was hiding something.

I didn't want to put pressure on her or something that would make her very uncomfortable, but I had to be more direct with her. She had just gone for a walk, and although she seemed like she wasn't a bad girl, she had her doubts, it was something that is normal in similar situations like this.

"Sumire-san... why were you late?"

She seemed ready to answer something that was not the case, but the Uzumaki's gaze was intense and concerned. A more than understandable look for someone who takes care of you without much in return.

She was tired, he understood it and it was really noticeable that she didn't want to talk about the things she was doing last night. He knew that Sumire meant to, but not this morning.

"I guess there's nothing wrong with saying it today…" he sighed.

The insistent look seemed to have had a great effect on the violet-haired girl, and although her doubts were evident, she seemed more sure than she was a few moments ago.

"Boruto-kun..." He looked up with a serious and calm expression. I… managed to recover my memories…

Will continue…

A/N: Well, I wanted to decide to give this final moment with Sumire having just recovered her memories, but leaving the intrigue for the next one to come. You will already know what she will tell in the next chapter of this story . Also, I made a mini participation of Hinata, wanting to give her a proper participation, but I have that reserved for a later arc.

There wasn't much here that I can say, more just to be satisfied with what was written, since this chapter has only been a small interval of half time before the next events that will come in this arc.

Well, I hope you enjoyed it a lot. Let me know what you think, it would help me a lot to give me much more inspiration. And I thank those who are reading it .

We read until next time!

Yours!

Guardians of the Ninshū by BSmolerLOL

Anime » Boruto: Naruto Next Generations Rated: T, Spanish, Adventure & Fantasy, Boruto U., Inojin Y., Shikadai N., Sumire K., Words: 97k+, Favs: 2, Follows: 2, Published: May 18 Updated: Sep 2

2Chapter 6: Chapter 5: Nonsense Answers

Chapter 5: Nonsense Answers

The dream that he had prolonged in him for having waited a long time for the arrival of the young violet-haired girl was mean and tired, to the point that Boruto thought he had aged a couple of years by being very aware of her. He looked and acted like he was a father, one who adopted a girl almost the same age as her after picking her up in the garbage alley.

This whole situation without context hit very badly, whichever way you look. Only the part about picking her up from the alley wasn't at all necessary to bring to light.

He feared for his social stability towards the whole world if something like that was known. Of course she wouldn't say. I don't know he considered himself a criminal nor was he.

Now that he had gone through all that, he was nothing more than a caretaker, or rather, the caretaker of this girl in front of him and with the same silence that accompanied her throughout the apartment.

— "One problem after another..."

He could only keep thinking about all the problems that were piling up with her close to him. However, this whole act of helping her was nothing more than a simple feeling of satisfaction towards himself, or so Boruto might think.

For now he just wanted to talk to her having finished preparing breakfast for this Sunday, however, no one took the first bite, they were more focused on the topic they were about to talk about now.

After the Sumire girl had left the apartment yesterday and without showing any signs of life during her absence, she had reappeared until today with the news that she had been able to recover her memories.

This situation should be something good to celebrate, right?

Shouldn't you be happy?

Will it be the end of having her in his apartment and her being free?

Seeing her out of the corner of her eye, which was from the other side of the small table, she did not show herself with her gaze straight on. He seemed to be nervous about what he wanted to say or maybe he didn't know where he should start talking about how he was able to recover the memories of him.

"So..." He spoke first to break the tension and silence in the air. Are you going to tell me exactly who you are and where are you studying?

—...

He still didn't respond. The worst thing about all this silence is that he had been asking the same question more than once and in a different way, but he still hadn't gotten any response from her.

It was clear that she wasn't ready to start talking. She possibly wasn't quite sure if he would accept whatever she was. If I said she's from that rich girls' school she wouldn't have a problem with it.

It will be a matter of whether she wanted to keep in touch with him. She wouldn't mind being friends with her, since they could also see each other being in the same city. She could also brag to her friends that she had a friend from that school without any hassles.

He looked at her again, and seemed to be a little more ready to speak. She had a certain calm and doubtful look on her face, but she noticed a little more seriousness in her expression, though not as strong one.

"Look... if you're having a hard time speaking it, don't worry about it." He patiently tried to calm her down. All in due time for her to want to speak 'ttebasa.

“No, I want to tell you. It's the least I can pay for helping me. Sumire said as she inhaled.

Now she did seem ready to take out everything that made her shut up without any problem. Although she thought that last thing that she had commented on was a little impolite. It was clear that he was not on good terms with her because of her unknown identity.

“Just take it easy. She said with a softer and more solid tone.

She was silent again, but with the difference that she had a much straighter and calmer gaze.

Of course she still wasn't comfortable with the subject she was about to discuss, neither of them thought it was something they could take lightly, much less her because of her current state. Everything he would do to help her would depend solely and solely on what she would talk about. He only needed personal information necessary enough to take her to where she studied or lived.

He continued to inhale and exhale. She did it over and over again until she was completely calm enough while directing a slightly doubtful look at Boruto, however, that did not also take away that serious expression that she began to show.

No one had cared anymore about the breakfast that had been prepared. They were much more nervous that they came to overshadow all the hunger they felt before. The churning in her stomach was no longer from the lack of food left to consume, but from the panic of where he could direct her actions after what she heard.

She was confident and calm. It was time for Sumire to speak, they both knew just by seeing how she stopped being a bit dense. Her eyes reflected the brightness of the early morning sun and the confidence that she was being present.

"First of all, I still don't really know what my full name is, so I apologize in advance. He bowed his head.

Seeking forgiveness that his early results were poor, he hoped that Boruto wouldn't feel a bit disappointed.

—N-Don't worry, you don't have to worry if you still don't know your name. She answered calmly as he tried to reassure the girl.

-In agreement...

He was glad that she did not lose the confidence to continue talking, but it was quite the opposite when she watched for a few moments the television and the weather forecast, which warned of a rainy day today.

It didn't take long for Sumire to look straight ahead where Boruto was, so she began to speak again.

—When I was walking outside, it had given me a memory of some things... They were nothing where I'm from, but when I saw some boys and girls interacting with some of those abilities they had, it was there that I was able to remember little by little some things that They were giving me an idea of everything that is going on.

"About what's going on?" He asked, somewhat conflicted by the girl's words.

Sumire paused briefly. She wanted to make sure that Boruto was more than open to the words that she said. She looked at him confused, but still the young Uzumaki's expression told her to continue.

—The "gifts" you speak of, the people who interact with them, this city is made for all young people like you told me. Everything here made me remember one thing.

-One thing? He repeated the same words, but again turned her attention to the girl and her facets. What kind of thing?

—Ninshū.

-...How?...

His mind started having a little tracking trouble as soon as he heard a word he didn't understand or know. It was something that she didn't understand very well when she heard it, not even knowing what the violet-haired girl was talking about next.

“It's a word that came to mind. I didn't quite understand what it meant when I remembered it, but as soon as I knew it was something that popped into my head I wanted more answers, I needed to be able to remember more.

-And you did it? Uzumaki asked looking at him curiously.

There was no answer for a few moments or seconds, but already seeing the look of the girl he could sense that if he had achieved his goal, or at least what she could remember.

"All the people who use these "gifts" are what are called Ninshū ," he said. It's not like a skill or physical, but it's something that is more spiritual.

-Spiritual?

—Well, I'm not sure how to explain it, since I don't remember very well how it works. Although I can tell you that it is important in order to avoid threats that want to rob people of their connection to the Ninshū.

He paused briefly as he looked at the television again. She seemed a little calmer, but worried that the Uzumaki would not keep up with her conversation, since she was very continuous with the information that had come into her head.

—All the abilities that people possess is nothing more than the connection of their physical body with the Ninshū , and that was leading them to later have these "gifts" as they call it. This reaction between the strength of your physical body and the spiritual of what is Ninshū is called chakra. This reaction does nothing more than make it possible to use the abilities of the people's gifts that they possess.

—...

—Besides, as I already told you, there are threats that want to steal people's Ninshū , and it is most likely that they will do it in this city. The safest thing is that almost all of them are white and in a matter of minutes they would affect everyone." He looked at Boruto with concern and showed him a painful and frowning expression. Boruto-kun, I think you should be careful. I wouldn't want something to happen to you!

—...

If there was one word to describe all that Uzumaki Boruto had heard, it was none other than "insanity". Yes, it had possibly been the most reasonable of many, or the softest he could think of for the purplehead.

—Basically, you say that there is that kind of threat of good and evil, in which that evil wants to take away from people that spiritual energy that is managed to make a better world, am I wrong? Boruto asked expressionlessly.

-Yes it is.

"And what we use is just 'spiritual' skills like shamans use, right?"

—I don't know that they are shamans, but the first thing you said is true. Also, anyone can do many things. It is a supernatural event that many are unaware of and that must be taken into account. She spoke while smiling slightly.

Impossible to swallow that. If this was an ordinary person who strongly believes in magic, ghosts, spirits, or supernatural things, he would be screaming from the rooftops that he is in awe, but that was impossible.

The supernatural powers within this Academy City are quite normal, but with the difference that it is studied by science. Everything can be explained by her, so who can deny her existence?

It's not that he wouldn't like to disbelieve her. Only she can't do it. Everything sounded very fanciful, as if it were from a manga or light novel. Furthermore, for someone who only handles the knowledge of science, this was nothing more than a fantasy that came from a girl, a girl who had the body of a 15 or 16 year old.

"So... how do you think you ended up with that wound in the alley?"

He had decided to make a small diversion on the subject, while looking at the unhidden expressions of the violet-haired girl.

"I guess that's why they." They wanted to steal my connection to the Ninshū , but maybe they didn't, but they hurt me.

-They?

Uzumaki repeats this in a confused way. Is the "attacker" an organization? A group? Would that really be the case? His intrigue only grew the more he thought about it; all the possibilities, routes, options, results, etc. Everything was much more stressful than he was when he had met her these days.

"Are they some kind of people who are crazy in the head?" she asked out loud by accident.

"...Are you making fun of me?"

He felt the adversity and anger of the girl, keeping two cheeks slightly inflated by the offense they were giving him.

—...I'm sorry, it's just that what you're telling me is impossible for me. I really can't believe in the existence of spiritual things or also supernatural things without logic. Believe me I'm familiar with "strange powers" like pyrokinesis, magnetism, superhuman strength or psychic vision, but spiritual... I can't believe that.

"I really don't understand what you're talking about. She lowered her head in disappointment.

"You don't have to understand." She pressed her head against the slight pain that crept in. I'm simply saying that without a doubt super powers are real.

"Then why didn't what I said take into account that they have abilities...?" There is no doubt that it is real! the young woman exclaimed.

—I had already told you about how this whole city originated and why, or did you forget?

The girl's face had started to fade until her head was lowered as she only pressed herself hard when she started moving her chopsticks back and forth for lunch, but she didn't grab the food from the plate, she just drew circles on the table with them.

"Seriously, I'm telling you the truth. She — she started to sound a little desperate and head down.

Boruto noted that she really wanted him to acknowledge her words and wanted him to admit that he was telling the truth no matter what. He didn't want to make her feel too bad about what he had said, since he didn't want to be too rude when she told him her supposed memories of what she had forgotten.

He reconsidered for a moment if she was insane before he lost his memory and found her in the alley. It is possible that he had escaped from some aid center for her and ran away from her. However, that option was discarded when he remembered that her condition had been very serious, so he doubted that someone who worked in a place to help the people with the head would hurt her, even to the point of leaving someone close to death.

She was a good girl, he knew that well, and that was why it weighed heavily on him to see her as a weird and mentally unstable person in the head. Therefore, she decided to give him a chance so that she would not look like this.

"Okay, so tell me: Can you do a demo?" Can you do something that only that chakra or Ninshū can do and science can't? Try doing it in front of

me, and maybe I'll believe you.

—...

Of course he had no answer or proof. She could say it, but it wouldn't be valid if it wasn't shown.

Honestly for Uzumaki everything Sumire had said was offensive to him. He had been waiting for many years for his gift to manifest to him, since until a certain age is when one begins to have it, but he was different and there has been no change in his body, even in his friends.

This whole talk about gifts being some kind of supernatural thing was something he couldn't be too cool about. As if everything was a lie. He didn't want to feel too excluded with this, and if what she said was true, then he didn't have anything that could be special like people, that made him feel more excluded from the world of his own generation.

He looked back at the girl and she seemed rather downcast, which put a little weight on the boy's heart. He could put up with anything, but making a girl cry was not something he wanted to be proud of.

His father always told him that you should never make a woman cry for anything in the world, whether she was a stranger or not. A man always had a duty to give them the right support.

He picked up his own chopsticks that he had in front of him and started making sounds with them as he grabbed his lunch, catching her attention as she looked at him with a bit of fear.

“For now let's forget everything you just told me. We'll know what to do with your memory later, so for now I'd like to have lunch, okay?

She didn't seem very convinced, as if she would really like to continue with the subject, but both she and he knew that it was not the best, for now.

—O-Okay...

His answer was short and hesitant, but he had understood Uzumaki's words very well, starting to do the same since he had also started to get his hunger back.

"And another thing, promise me you won't go somewhere else today, I wouldn't like you to be away for a long time again," Boruto commented with a frown. I'd like you to take a break today.

"Y-Yes, it's alright...

His gaze remained the same. The condolences that Boruto felt towards her about her lack of knowledge or state of mind. She was very disturbing, not to mention she was also disturbing, but still he had no doubt that she was a good girl.

"Listen, Sumire-san," he spoke to her sympathetically, flashing her a confident smile. I don't want to and you don't have to worry either. No matter what happens I will be here with you and never leave you if you have problems. That's something I'm serious about 'ttebasa.

It's the least I could do with her. She had no one who could help her, only him and no one else. He knew that he was not qualified to have the responsibility of caring for and helping a girl his own age, he couldn't even take care of himself in his normal economic conditions, but he still couldn't leave her alone to carry much on her own. .

Surely his father would have done the same under these circumstances. He would possibly tell her to do what he just did. He couldn't help but let a smile slip from his face.

He watched Sumire nod as she moved her lunch for no apparent reason, turning her gaze back to the blond-haired youth. As much as she had her concern about staying outside, he decided to listen to her. They were seen in her eyes full of guilt for having been away from her for a long time without warning her.

Boruto smiled at her as soon as he saw her take her first bites at breakfast, which made the boy happy, but as for the violet-haired girl, she was coughing a little because of the concentrated condiments that were in the food.

"I-I'm sorry, I made a very difficult breakfast again, didn't I?"

"N-No, no problem...

If there's one thing Uzumaki was disappointed in, it was his lousy cooking skills. He had already commented on it to her before; he only knew how to make curry. Decent, but nothing that was the most wonderful thing to eat.

In the worst case scenario where Sumire has to extend the length of her stay in her apartment, she will have no choice but to learn to cook.

๑๑๑

"As always, I'm very surprised at how skilled you are, Boruto." Still, I don't want a simple injury or illness to beat you to not coming to class. Be a little more defensive in your system...

Right now Boruto was standing next to his teacher Senju Tsunade, who had been responsible for sending him that amount of homework for missing class, whether it was because he was sick or not. She never stopped being rude to all of her students, but this was clearly to help them improve themselves.

Fortunately, yesterday he had been able to finish all the homework he took as punishment, both him and his teacher. Not once had Sumire left the apartment, more than she alone had sat down to watch TV and read some of the books that her mother had given her when she started living in Academy City. They were just books of novels that she had had from her father and that she would surely have loved to read them, but she has never been able to take a look at them due to lack of time and courage.

It worried the girl for a few moments because of the look of doubt she had with the time that she was sitting there in her two activities that she had done yesterday, but she did not want to leave because of so much trouble thinking about it, more than just letting her be until feel more comfortable.

When she had to hurry to class today she had left curry for him to eat later. Sure, he locked her up so she wouldn't have anything troublesome happen to him and he can get past her.

He was still with his doubts about who or who had gone to attack the young woman, that was still the biggest mystery on the table that had to be pending, in addition to that story that she had commented on. It's not that she didn't want to believe what she had told, but it was something that she couldn't try to be too influenced by.

I needed more clues to know what the past is that this amnesiac girl hides. He would not want to be involved in something very dangerous that could involve a terrible terrorist group.

"Listen to me when I'm talking to you!"

Without blinking he had been pulled out of his thoughts by one of the older woman's monstrous punches until the Uzumaki was against the wall until it cracked. He just left the boy very still until he was unable to move, staying on the ground convulsing with pain.

The rest of the teachers came over to help him and others calmed down the very upset Senju who was still growling in anger at being ignored by her student when she was lecturing him.

Luckily, something much worse was avoided, that the wall was completely breaking in the process.

๑๑๑

The pains in his face and all parts of his body continued to rumble as a strong current bristled him to the bone. Luckily they had told her that these were intact thanks to one of the healing abilities of a teacher, the rest had been taken care of as always by the one in charge of the school infirmary.

A little treatment was applied to him until he was expected to be back in good shape in a short time for his next classes. Luckily, the first two won't count her fault, at least she could take it as a sign of apology from her teacher.

Resting now was what was now in his grasp until he could move like he normally does. In addition, he had to continue to be vigilant so that he would not be an overexertion in wanting to go to her classroom.

"I am very surprised that you are so obedient."

Boruto heard how they spoke to him from the other side of the infirmary. He who looked from the window at some students in their physical education classes had put him at ease, however, he lost focus when he saw the woman who attended him with a neutral expression, but she looked surprised.

“Well, Ada-san did her best to keep it in good condition. I wouldn't want to undermine that effort by leaving 'ttebasa.

"I'm just doing my job, besides I was very surprised that you arrived today like this..." she commented strangely.

"I-It just happened." Haha.

"You never know what you're going to do next from time to time," he sighed. Sometimes I wished that the first thing you would do when you got to school would be to see me... but I didn't wish that way either.

"D-Don't say that... It makes me look like a jerk somehow." Boruto replied with a bitter and awkward smile.

The atmosphere began to feel uncomfortable, as well as embarrassing for the words that the woman said. He turned his gaze away again, looking for a way to move on to a next topic of conversation at least in front of Ada, but he couldn't think of anything at the moment, so he only sighed in response to her failed attempts.

"You seem to really like seeing girls in sports uniforms, don't you?"

"N-No, of course not!" She replied with a blush.

-You know? I don't mind trying something like that on if you want.” She bends her legs to sit better in her chair. Would you like it?

A common response to these kinds of situations where a man would have her in his presence would be a positive one. Of course he would like to live every man's dream to have a splendid view of an attractive woman in a sporty school uniform.

Would they play it if I said yes? What kind of consequences would occur if I were to have that agreement? Too many questions and all of them intriguing, as well as dangerous. Although, she couldn't help but think how provocative and tempting she was. She was in a dilemma whether or not to decline the offer.

He was a boy after all, so why not take advantage of the distance of every man's dream? He felt the urgency of having a reward after everything that had happened these days.

"Are you awake Boruto yet?" A voice was heard outside the infirmary.

Well, of course the opportunities had a period of time to be claimed.

They both looked at the door opening to see both Shikadai and Inojin calmly walking in as they glanced into the infirmary. They both looked at the Uzumaki out of the corner of their eyes, and soon after at the woman who looked at them calmly.

It only lasted a few seconds, but in that short time Uzumaki could see an upset and depressing sigh from Ada as she stood up from her chair until her hands were in the pockets of her white coat.

"Hey guys," he spoke sweetly to them with a smile. Uzumaki-kun will be ready to walk.

—Thank you very much for your work, Ada-sensei.

"Don't worry Nara-kun, it's the least I can do," he thanked. Although, what she did now Mrs. Tsunade was break the record of having a student brought to the infirmary. Even though she is a doctor.

"You know how he is, he can never control his temper." Inojin replied from the jet's side.

The conversation began to make all the strange and uncomfortable atmosphere dissipate around Boruto, until he had a much better relaxation from the bed he was sitting on.

"So... Guys, could you keep an eye on the place while I go out for a drink?"

"Of course, leave it to us." Inojin said.

Ada walked by her side as she headed out of the infirmary while looking at the boys and then doing the Uzumaki at the end. It was only a few milliseconds to notice how she winked at him as soon as she opened the door.

That gesture had managed to make the Uzumaki blush. It wasn't as if he was going to fall for the charms of a woman like that woman is —although really if she would do it in a very high percentage—, since that kind of feelings had them occupied in a certain way.

It is in these cases that I wish I was a little older to be his age, and only then would the story be totally different.

"Isn't it lovely that Ada-sensei gives us a job?" Inojin asked. Maybe we are his favorite students.

"I doubt it," Shikadai replied. She is like that with others, not to mention that she is not the kind of woman who is interested in men now.

"But you also wish you could at least have a chance with a woman like her, don't you?"

—...

His silence said more than a thousand words. No wonder even her friends wanted something from her. Most of the men here do it for the sake of attractiveness, but it's not like it's a new novelty.

He checked the time on his cell phone and nothing had come up. She was at least reassured when she didn't see any calls from her apartment, indicating that Sumire was fine for now.

"Is something wrong, Boruto?" His jet-black friend asked as he approached.

He had been ignoring the Yamanaka for a few moments as he passed him until he reached the bed where Boruto was.

"Are you a little shaken by what happened to you?" she asked.

—N-No, nothing like that... although the truth was that it was very complicated. Boruto answered as he lowered his cell phone.

"Well, that's what you get for ignoring Tsunade-sensei," the blond-haired man spoke from the other side. What were you thinking that you didn't pay attention to him?

A question in question that is too dubious for what Uzumaki Boruto can handle.

Returning his attention to the problem of his affair with that girl he had in his apartment, he was thinking about what she had told him, that strange fantasy that he said was "real", in addition to the fact that they were part of his "memories" that were supposed to be that he had recovered.

"This is annoying...

"Hey, what's that about?" —Shikadai missed that tired behavior of his friend.

"Guys, can I ask you something?"

The other two looked strangely at the Uzumaki, but not before consulting each other where their gazes seemed very uneasy and curious because of their friend's tired and worried gaze. They nodded, waiting to hear what they would be asked.

"Have you ever heard of Ninshū or something called chakra ?" she asked.

-Sorry?

“Sounds weird, I know, but I want to know if any of you have heard of it. He was taking into account how weird he sounded to himself.

He couldn't bear to see the look of his friends with indifference as they tried to find out what Boruto wanted to know. Of course it would cost them! He wasn't a fool, he was more or less like that when he heard it from Sumire, but a little less hurtful—although it didn't make much difference—so the guilt of hurting the girl for saying something close to disbelieving him was difficult for him. to load. Although he still had the same thought of not knowing if he believed her or not.

“To be honest, I've never heard of it. It is the first time I hear it. said the jet.

It was not surprising for Uzumaki, since it was not something that an ordinary person knows about, much less his friends.

"I haven't heard of that Nin either...what you said," Inojin spoke with difficulty as he thought about the name. Is it some kind of pun?

"S-Forget it, it's nothing... I only ask because I heard about it in a 'ttebasa book."

"Can you hear the books?" Shikadai looked at him with a frown.

-Stop bothering! Just saying!

"Well, if you say so, then the topic doesn't matter so much, does it?" added the Yamanaka.

Of course, if no one knew anything about those words then he had no more reason to continue insisting on the subject. It was only enough for him to further confirm the condition that Sumire is in mentally.

He will leave things up in the air for the moment, and then he would resume everything according to what the young violet-haired girl remembered over time.

In the end he has gotten nothing but just meaningless answers. She only hoped that the result would be totally different some other time. At the very least, she would try to talk to Sumire again and ask her more calmly about what she said.

However, the first thing of all was to take a rest in bed.

—« Tsunade-sensei's blows are really the worst thing to receive ...»

#Boruto #Boruto fanfiction

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skiller0dani · 3 years

Text

Broken Paradise | Spencer Reid

M A S T E R L I S T Criminal Minds Masterlist

smut requests info wc | 9.1k summary | you run into an ex boyfriend during an interrogation. except it's you being interrogated, and it's your ex boyfriend doing the interrogating.

song

another draft just waiting to be published. really obsessing over Spencer Reid.

also there's mentions of abortion, nothing graphic it's literally just a short direct reference and nothing else.

You always hear people say your past will come back to haunt you, you just didn't know they meant literally. You leaned back against the metal chair in the interrogation room, you've been in here for what felt like hours. You couldn't complain too much seeing as it's your fault that you're in here at all. You wished they'd come in and tell you something, give you an update, say hi, say anything. You seriously underestimated how maddening silence can be. You knew little about the murders the police were investigating, something about druggie women being found mutilated. The pictures they showed you were downright horrifying, you'd need at least one solid bottle of tequila to forget the bodies of those poor women.

The Las Vegas Police Department were a bunch of judgmental pigs, the only reason they'd brought you here at all was because you were from the wrong side of the tracks. Both of your parents were users, and if you were lucky, also dead. They probably assumed you used as well, and seeing as you seemed to fit the killers physical preference the police brought you in for questioning and also for your own "safety". But really you knew they didn't give a damn about your safety, they just wanted to know where you got your shit from. No matter how many times you insisted you didn't use, they kept pushing. When one male officer started throwing your parents in your face, you stood up and promptly broke his nose. That's how you landed yourself cuffed to the table, tightly.

"Oh thank you so much for gracing me with your presence once more." You smiled sarcastically as another officer walked in, wait he's definitely not an officer. The man who entered the room had cleanly cut dark hair, and wore an expensive looking black suit. Not the run of the mill beat cop that you were expecting. You bit back any other fiery remarks, if you wanted to get the hell out of here you needed to cooperate. Diana would be expecting you, not that you were itching to see her but after letter number 75 of her begging you to swing by- well lets just say that Spencer's mother was never the problem. You doubt Spencer even knew Diana was contacting you, which was good. You wanted nothing at all to do with him.

"I'm Agent Hotchner here with the FBI I need to ask you a few questions." This man was all business, you seriously had to fight the urge to fuck with him a little bit.

"I'd shake your hand but..." Your eyes flickered towards the table, where the police officer who's nose you broke had very tightly handcuffed you. In fact he cuffed you so tightly that your wrists were already raw and bleeding a bit.

"They wouldn't have handcuffed you if you didn't punch an officer. Did he hit a nerve?" The Agent's face was level, and gave nothing away as to what he was thinking. You tongued the inside of your cheek, your foot tapping quickly on the concrete floor. These assholes were really starting to piss you off.

"He was being a dick, how many times do I have to tell you guys that I don't use? Are your heads filled with sawdust?" You snapped roughly, yanking away from him to lean back in your chair despite the biting pain in your wrists.

"That's not why I'm here Miss Y/L/N." Agent Hotchner said, his voice even and his eyes on you. The way he was looking at you made you feel exposed, like he could read all of your secrets because of the way your eye twitches when you're nervous. You hate these damn FBI profilers- wait.

"How's Spencer?" It's a shot in the dark, a very long shot in a very dark tunnel. Before the scumbag left you without warning, Spencer mentioned that someone was trying to recruit him for the BAU department of the FBI. The profilers. Spencer left and never came back, two guesses as to where he went. Your eyes locked onto the Agent's in front of you, and from the slight upturn at the corner of his brow you knew you got him. Spencer is here.

"You know Dr. Reid?"

"So he's a Doctor now, doesn't surprise me. Let me guess, he has PHD's and Doctorates in Math, Chemistry and something to do with Geography right?" You say as casually as you can and you can only hope this man is wondering how you happen to know so much about one of his Agents.

"Unless I'm speaking to Spencer Reid, I want my lawyer." You snap, leaning back. You know Spencer won't talk to you, and unless they have physical proof you're guilty of something they'll have to let you go.

Check mate.

Spencer couldn't ignore the questioning glances from his fellow teammates even if he'd wanted to. He watched you lean back in your chair from the other side of the one way glass, what are the chances that you are wrapped up in this case? You of all young petite blonde women in the metro area. The world was fucking with him, it had to be.

"She a friend of yours?" Derek's voice was the first to cut through the silence.

"No." One word answers were the safest route, the shortest diction would give little time for them to draw information out of the way Spencer was speaking. There was a tremble in his tone, he knew there was. Spencer prided himself for having little to no baggage behind him, but of all unopened suitcases- his previous relationship with you was the largest one.

"Really? Cause she seems to know a lot about you." Derek said, his eyes fixed on Spencer. The tension in the room was palpable, and suddenly it felt hard for Spencer to breathe let alone compose himself. After shoving free from the small viewing room, Spencer found it a lot easier to exist without the scrutinizing gazes of his coworkers.

"You hear her?" It was Hotch, with a patiently guarded expression on his face. Spencer and drugs wasn't an uncommon problem, although in the past his poison of choice was dilaudid. Now there's a string of drug related murders and a possible junky who seems to know a lot about him.

"Yeah, from before the Bureau." Spencer clarified quickly, and Hotch honestly looked the tiniest bit relieved.

"Think you could talk to her, she's made it obvious she won't talk to any of us." Hotch said, and from the tension building in Spencer's shoulders he can tell there's some bad blood between the two of you. Spencer took a deep breath before taking all of those unresolved emotions and forcefully shoving them down. Deep, deep down. It's time to do a job, there's a missing woman who needs to be saved.

When that door opened again, you thought you'd won. You thought they were coming to begrudgingly release you. Instead you were met by the big doey eyes of Spencer Reid, your first and last love. All the air was stolen from your lungs in an instant, the memories flood back and you can't stop them. The anger rises then, this is the first time you've seen him since he left you. The one person you trusted not to leave you did, he left like everyone leaves you. Like your parents left you. He's very clearly all business, his face hardly giving anything away as he swiftly reached down to unlock the handcuffs around your wrists. If you wanted to walk away from this without your heart getting broken you needed the upper hand.

"Heya baby." You smiled, you hoped that maybe it would disarm him. At least a little, but when you looked at him all you saw was a stoic and focused expression. Nothing? Really?

"I need to ask you a few questions Miss Y/L/N." Spencer's voice was controlled, even in tone. His voice... God his voice could bring you right to tears. You could still hear him saying how much he loved you with that stupidly angelic voice of his. Spencer was very quickly taking control of the situation and you did not like that at all.

"You know you can ask me anything, there's no secrets between us right Spence?" You leaned forward on your elbows, trying desperately to ignore the throbbing in your wrists. One of Spencer's biggest giveaways is eye contact, when he's upset or feels guilty he'll avoid looking into your eyes. You turn your gaze up to meet his, but once again you're completely disarmed to see him unabashedly looking into your eyes like it isn't a problem at all. Either Spencer has amnesia and forgot who you were, or what happened between you two doesn't hurt him like it hurts you. You refuse to believe it's the latter, he just forgot. Definitely forgot. Somehow he must have forgot.

"Nina Fredricks, have you ever seen her?" He slid a photo in front of you, you recognize her as the woman who was most recently kidnapped. Most recently being 12 hours ago so chances of her still being alive are unfortunately slim. You nibble on your lower lip, come to think of it you actually might have seen her.

"Yeah, saw her at Winchell's, little coffee shop on the corner of 5th? You remember right Spence? You used take me there all the time, I loved giving you head under the table." You smirk, but it quickly falters. Whatever training he went through must have stripped him of all emotion and turned him into a machine. Built only to solve cases and do nothing else. That wasn't the case however, you just didn't know how good Spencer is at compartmentalizing his emotions. He could only imagine the looks on his coworkers faces upon hearing you say that, at least he can just say you were lying to try and illicit some sort of reaction from him. They don't have to know that you totally used to slip under the table and swallow his cock in a diner full of people. They don't know about that side of him, and Spencer doesn't plan on changing that.

"When?" He presses on with the interview, and surprisingly you're forthcoming with information when you're speaking to Spencer. Even after all this time, he has this annoying power over you. This innate ability to get you to do whatever he wants you to, although you would prefer him to use this special ability in the bedroom. No! No you have to eradicate thoughts like that, Spencer hurt you worse then anyone else ever has. He hurt you worse because he made you think he was going to stay, and then he didn't.

"Few nights ago, she looked really messed up though. Winchell threw her out, definitely doped up on something. Before you ask, no I didn't see where she went." You sigh, finally giving up flashing Spencer the all too familiar 'you win' look. Usually a victorious grin stretches across his face, but not this time. Those times are over.

"Did you see anybody with her?" You're not entirely surprised that Spencer isn't writing any of this down, that stupid eidetic memory. You're fooling yourself if you think he forgot what happened, Spencer never forgets anything. Ever.

"Every detail matters."

You genuinely try to remember if anybody was with Nina, and while you didn't see anyone you remember shortly after she left the diner there was this horrible screeching sound. "After Nina left I heard what sounded like tires screeching on the street. Never saw a car though."

"Thank you Miss Y/L/N, is there anything else you can remember about that night? Anything that sticks out?" After a few moments of quiet contemplation, you shake your head.

"Am I free to go?" You ask quietly and Spencer shakes his head.

"Unfortunately we're going to have to keep you in protective custody. We'll move you to a more comfortable room, but you'll need to stay in the precinct."

"But why? I'm not a drug addict-"

"You are exactly this killers type, and we don't know if looking a certain way is more important or if being a drug addict is when it comes to him choosing his victims." Spencer explains simply, his mouth moving a mile a minute as he stands. When he turns his eyes back on you, you realize he's waiting for you to follow him. You stand and follow him out of the cold interrogation room to a comfier waiting room. It has a table and chairs, vending machine and a big plush couch.

"You can stay in here, we'll let you know when it's safe to go home." Spencer says, and this is when you finally catch the crack in his façade. His eyes flicker away from yours, trying to disguise the waver in his voice, the desperation to vacate the room as quickly as he can. But now that you've seen him break, even a little, you're going to crack him wide open. You won't let it go that easily.

"Spencer?" Your voice is soft, with an innocent drawl that Spencer can't resist. He turns his head to look at you, swallowing thickly when his eyes meet yours.

"You do remember me don't you? Once upon a time we were in love." You see the rest of his coworkers trying and failing to look like they're not listening. But it's not like you care if they do, Spencer will though but luckily his back is to the door. After a few moments of tense silence, he finally speaks.

"Of course." It's not the answer you were hoping for but it's an admission, which is more then you were getting earlier.

"Do you miss me Spencer? Miss me in bed next to you?"

"W-Well I-"

"Do you miss when I used to cook your favorite dinner every night when you came over? Do you miss how I loved you unconditionally?" Your voice was steadily growing more hostile, and you knew there were tears building in your eyes. This has all been building up for so long you know you can't stop it now.

"Y/N-"

"Do you miss being able to fuck me whenever the hell you want? Is that what you miss the most Spencer? You must not miss me that much because when you left I didn't even get a fucking call! You didn't even say goodbye, you just left!" You were yelling now, with tears streaming down your face. Spencer had slyly shut the door by now, he knew this was going to happen the second he saw you. He wished he could help you understand why he had to leave the way he did. He was trying to protect you, and he still firmly believes he's protecting you. Look what happened to Haley, what happened to Maeve. Spencer loved Maeve and he lost her like Hotch lost Haley, and Spencer can't lose you. Not you. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to you.

"Please try to understand-" You never even let him get close to finishing his thought.

"Understand what? Leaving me? You said you loved me! How could you love me and then leave me alone? While I was pregnant!" Your hands flew to your mouth, you honestly never planned on telling him that. Spencer's eyebrows rose high in the air, and you can tell you just knocked the wind out of him. Spencer's hand reached back for the door handle, "pregnant?"

"Spencer I'm sorry I didn't mean to tell you that way." You tried to explain, and despite the fact that he'd abandoned you, you were dead terrified of him leaving again now that he was stood in front of you.

"Do I have a child you never told me about?" His voice is shaky, afraid. Now you can see all his coworkers heavily invested in your conversation.

"N-No, I...I got rid of it." You said softly, watching the mix of emotions swirl across his face. When his trembling palm curls around the door handle you launch forward to grab at his arm.

"I'm sorry, please don't leave. Not again-" But he's pulling his arm free from yours and turning out of the room, nearly slamming the door behind him.

Spencer ignored the questions, he ignored the looks. His legs gave out somewhere near one of the couches. He stared ahead numbly, trying to make sense of what you'd just told him. Trying to somehow wrap his head around the terror of you being pregnant and then the grief of the lost possibility all at the same time. By now, JJ and Rossi had shooed everyone away from Spencer. Which he was immensely grateful for, the only thing he wanted now was to be alone. Completely and entirely alone.

Pregnant.

The word kept replaying like a scratched record, screeching in his ears every time he closed his eyes. Spencer pressed the balls of his palms into his eyes when he heard the distinct sound of footsteps approaching him. Whoever it was, he already wished they would go away.

"Damn Kid, I didn't expect you to date such a spitfire." Derek joked as he sat down, doing what he can to ease the tension. Spencer didn't even bother looking up at him, his head stubbornly lowered and his gaze locked on the ground. Derek racked his brain for something adequate to say, but what was there to say? How could Derek find a way to make this right? Spencer just found out you were pregnant with his child and that you'd got an abortion all in the same 10 seconds. It was a lot to process.

"You gotta talk to her Spence." Derek's voice was less humorous this time. Spencer wrung his hands nervously, his eyes finally lifting to meet Derek's. A sharp shake of his head and a flash of the tears in his eyes and Spencer stands, wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands. Time to get back to work. Someone has to talk to you, Derek can't stand of someone crying by themselves like that.

"It's not really my place-" JJ tried to argue as Derek stood in front of her.

"Someone needs to talk to her, and Spencer isn't going to." Derek said, rubbing a hand down his face as his eyes flickered back to Spencer. Who was currently throwing himself headfirst into the geographic profile of the killer they're looking for, because maybe if he works hard enough the rest of the entire world will just disappear. Maybe if Spencer keeps working and does nothing else you'll just vanish from that room and he won't have to deal with this. It's not that Spencer wants you to go away, the opposite actually but there isn't room in his life for you anymore. It's not safe. Spencer would rather be alone for the rest of his life then put you in danger because he's lonely and misses you.

"Alright, fine. But only for Spence." JJ says, jabbing a finger in Derek's direction before reluctantly heading towards the room you're in. She glances back at Spencer, who has become consumed by the map in front of him. JJ can always tell when something is bothering him, he has physical giveaways. The way his shoulders are rigid as he scribbles something on the whiteboard, the furrow in his brow that lets her know that while he's working on something, his mind is elsewhere. The tremble in his palm from trying so hard to hold everything back, everything he doesn't want anyone else to see. To someone that doesn't know Spencer, he looks perfectly composed, his attention and focus completely on his work. JJ knows him well enough to know that his mind, and heart are sitting tattered in this waiting room on the couch next to you.

JJ creaks the door open, flashing you a smile that makes you absolutely hate her guts. Spencer probably has some puppy love crush on her, she's beautiful. Long blonde hair, slender body, stunning smile. Everything you're not.

"Hi I'm Special Agent Jennifer Jareau, but you can call me JJ." The way she's looking at you lets you know that she came in here to try and understand. You're not in the mood to talk to her or anybody else in this stupid building except for Spencer. You want to hate him so bad but you can't. You can't because of how much you fucking love him. The bastard.

"Look I know you're probably not all that excited to talk to me-"

"I want Spencer." You snap, and by the look on her face you can tell she isn't surprised that you said that. JJ chewed on the inside of her cheek, how does she say that Spencer doesn't actually want to talk to you?

"Dr. Reid is needed elsewhere right now, but I'm willing to talk if you need to."

"You don't have to lie Agent Jareau. I know he doesn't want to see me, he's doing that thing where he pretends to work on something while secretly obsessing over something else." You say casually, and the fact that you can pick Spencer apart so easily is somewhat off-putting to JJ. But that could be her unrequited crush on him shining through, deep down JJ doesn't like that some other woman knows Spencer better then she does. While you'd love to sit here and wallow in your misery, a much worse idea strikes you then. If you can't talk to Spencer why not fuck with the woman who's clearly in love with him.

"And the little twitch in his fingers, the slight clench in his jaw. See that? He keeps rolling his shoulders back," while everything you were saying isn't a lie- it's guaranteed to annoy her. JJ stayed quiet, she hated that she didn't know what the goddamn twitch in his fingers meant.

"He's tense, but there's more. He can't stand still, keeps shifting from foot to foot. It's driving you crazy that you don't know why he's doing that." You laugh as her annoyed eyes flash to yours for a second before settling on Spencer again.

"You're a profiler, you can't figure it out? That doesn't surprise me, you've probably never considered the fact that Spencer has an unusually high sex drive." Your words completely stun her, and JJ's cheeks flush profusely.

"It means he's horny." You say casually, leaning back against the couch. You love the blush on her cheeks, and the fact that she's clearly biting her tongue to avoid saying something rude. You love that you got under her skin, and yes you're aware that you're a bad person. Now that you've said it, JJ can't get it out of her damn head. Spencer is horny. Spencer isn't a virgin. The thought of Spencer having sex makes JJ feel a sick turning in her gut. She was happy believing Spencer was a virgin, believing that nobody has gotten to experience that side of him yet. Happy to believe that he was untouched, but apparently that was not the case. Now that the illusion has been shattered, JJ feels as though the jagged pieces of it are cutting into her, and she knows you enjoy watching her bleed.

"Trust me, I know just what to do to relieve the tension, I know how to get him off quick. Do you?" You smile as you let your eyes shamelessly drag down his slender frame.

"You're only saying this because you want to control the conversation, and you hate that I see him everyday. That I can talk to him whenever I want, about whatever I want. You wouldn't lash out if you didn't feel intimidated." JJ says calmly, rendering you just as speechless as she was moments ago. The pain that was sent stabbing into your heart caused you to recoil back from JJ, trying to hide your misty eyes from hers. You can't let her know that she's winning.

"Look, we can both get nasty all we want but that's not why I'm here. I just want to help." JJ says sincerely, but you still don't budge. JJ taps her fingers against the wood of the table, thinking about leverage she can use to get you to talk to her.

"Spencer fell in love again." JJ says finally, and this time you turn your gaze up to look at her. You push your emotions down, no matter how much it hurts to hear her say that. Who is she? Are they still together?

"If you want to know more about her, then I suggest you talk to me. An answer for an answer, fair?" You can see her trying to bait you, and damn her because it's working.

"Fine." You grumble, leaning back fully against the couch. Your eyes catch Spencer's for a second when he turns to face the table, presumably looking for a map you remember being on the right side. You point to the right side of the table and Spencer looks nothing but annoyed when he follows your direction and finds what he's looking for. He hates that he functions better as a person when you're around.

"What's the deal with you and Spence?" JJ asks, and there is a lot to unpack with that question.

"Gonna have to be more specific." You say with a shrug, your eyes hesitantly meeting hers.

"How long were you two together?"

"2 years 8 months." You answer without pausing, causing her eyebrows to raise. JJ didn't expect you to remember down to the month, it's been years since you and Spencer were together. That's not a short fling like JJ originally thought, that's a substantial amount of time.

"What's her name?" You ask, desperate to get information on this mystery woman who has stolen Spencer from you.

"Her name was Maeve." Was. You don't miss how she says was instead of is.

"Why do you hate Spencer?" JJ looked like she cared, but you know it's not you she cares about. She's in here to try and protect Spencer in some way, she's acting like you're the villain.

"I don't hate him. He abandoned me. Just packed up and left, no note, no goodbye. Haven't heard from him since." You snap, hating the amount of emotion that was in your voice. JJ's eyebrows furrow, that's just so unlike Spencer. He's not cruel, he's never been cruel but that...is cruel. You see a look flash across her face.

"Sweet boy isn't as sweet as he seems." You say softly, folding your arms over your chest.

"He must have had a good reason." JJ insists, her eyes landing on Spencer's back as he continues to map out the hunting grounds of the killer. You know he's just wasting time to avoid coming back in here. Spencer is a certifiable super genius, he finished mapping it out a while ago. He's just pretending he hasn't finished yet.

"Spence still with her? Maeve." Her name felt like poison on your tongue, and JJ slowly shook her head.

"She died in front of him, really tore him up." Your heart cracks a little bit at her words, you can't imagine how hard that must have been for him. You see JJ open her mouth to ask something else when the door opens, and a man with darker skin pokes his head in.

"JJ? Reid found him, we gotta go." As soon as he arrived, he's gone with JJ hot on his heels. She sends you a smile before she rushes out of the room, and you see Spencer following her path out. They're going to arrest a murderer who has an arsenal of weapons at his disposal.

"Spencer! Y-You can't go, it's not safe!" You blurt from the doorway, and he pauses. His eyes find yours as he holsters his pistol, an unreadable expression on his face.

"It's my job." And that's all he says before he disappears out of the precinct, leaving you once again.

You couldn't quell the anxiety turning in your gut, you're not sure how to exist while Spencer is out there hunting a murderer. You wished that you could turn off the part of your brain that's still so damn attached to him, but no matter how hard you try you can't silence your heart as it calls for him. You're not sure you could survive the constant fear of losing him if you ever ended up with him again, this life is too much for you to take. Maybe he knew that all those years ago when he left you the first time, Spencer always could see right through you. Maybe he left because he knew staying would only lead you to live a life of constant fear, maybe he was trying to protect you. Either way the reasons don't matter anymore because he left, and nothing can change how badly that hurt you.

"Does it normally take this long?" You ask a passing officer, who in turn shrugs before continuing on his path. You feel like you're going to explode or vomit, or both. It's been over 2 hours, should it be taking this long? What if he got shot? What if he's dead right now and you're sitting here with your damn thumb up your ass worrying about him like a useless housewife? Feeling useless, that's what you hate the absolute most. Knowing there's nothing you can do to stop a bullet on it's trajectory to his heart.

"Spence, are you sure you're okay?" You hear a flurry of voices and when his name graces JJ's lips you're pushing out of the room. Your eyes find him instantly, and then travel to his palm which is pressed tightly to his neck. His bleeding neck. You feel your heart rate spike, hammering like the hooves of wild horses as you move without thinking about it. Before you even understand that you've moved, you're stood in front of him. Your eyes try to scan his neck for wounds but his palm covers the location the blood is coming from.

"C'mere." You grab his wrist and yank him back towards where you saw a first aid kit earlier. Luckily your 2 and a half years of nursing school taught you how to stitch a wound and perform basic first aid. Spencer offers no resistance as you yank him to a back corner of the precinct, pushing him to sit down. You grab the first aid kit, slowly prying his hand from his neck. Your eyes mist at the wound, it's a bullet wound. Looks old though, there's scarred tissue. This had to have happened a few weeks ago at least. You see the thin line of the scar, the middle section seems to have opened up again.

"You didn't wait long enough for this to heal." You scold gently, not missing how his eyes watch you with an intensity smoldering in them. You miss the way he used to look at you, the way he's looking at you right now. You miss being the center of his whole world, you scoff. Look how easy it was for him to walk away from you. You threat a needle to stitch the center of his wound shut again, and when you look for numbing cream you discover that there isn't any.

"Spence, there isn't any- I can't find the numbing..." Your voice trails off as you begin to yank things out of the first aid kit to search for the numbing cream. Spencer's hand catches your wrist and it's only just now that you realize you're trembling.

"It's okay. I'll be fine." He settles back against the chair he's sitting in, turning his head to reveal his neck to you. You hesitate, the Spencer you remember had a very low pain threshold. All of a sudden he's expecting you to stitch him up with no numbing agent?

"Y/N, I can handle it." Spencer says again, his voice firmer than before. You swallow a lump in your throat before reaching forward to begin stitching. You press the needle against his neck, eyeing him to gauge his reaction as you puncture his skin to make the first thread. To your surprise he hardly flinches, a small quirk in his lip is the only giveaway that he's in pain. Is this the same man that got squirmy getting a shot? That would shy away from the needle? Now he's sitting here letting you stitch him up without moving a muscle, without even flinching? The more time you spend with him the more proof you get that this isn't the same Spencer that left you all those years ago.

"How did it happen?" You ask, wondering how he could have survived a gunshot to the neck. He shifts uncomfortably.

"Got shot, two inches away from hitting my jugular." Spencer says it so casually, but you're so stunned that you halt your movements for a moment.

"How many times have you been shot?" You ask, your voice hoarse. Is him getting shot a common occurrence?

"Twice. Also got shot in the leg." The casual way Spencer talks about it almost convinces you it isn't a big deal. But it is. It's a bullet ripping through his body, and it's happened to him on two separate occasions. You finish stitching and bandaging him up, your hands moving away from him as soon as you can.

"Thank God you went to nursing school or I'd be six feet under." He jokes. You know he's kidding but still, the thought of it makes you feel lightheaded.

"Don't say stuff like that." You snap softly, and you know Spencer can see the fear and vulnerability in your eyes. You hesitantly steal a glance up at him once he's stood up only to find he's already looking at you. You shy away from his intrusive gaze, and you could practically feel him probing at your mind. Reading your thoughts as if they were written down for him. You hate that he can always tell what you're thinking, you hate that it was so easy for him to read you. Like a damn book. You have to fight the urge to reach out and grab his hand, it's what you always did when you felt lost or unsure. Spencer was always there to ground you and bring your mind back out of your thoughts.

"Miss Y/L/N?" You hear JJ's voice gently interrupt you two. You shoot away from Spencer as though you were doing something scandalous. He doesn't move an inch.

"Yes!" You blurt a little too loudly, suddenly flustered being so close to him. Why does your sharp tongue always leave you when you need it?

"You're clear to go home."

"I can take her." Spencer speaks up before JJ has a chance to offer, and she knew he would. You swallow a nervous lump in your throat, your palms shaking.

The SUV has dark tint, you weren't expecting that. The second you sat back in the plush leather seat your mind flew to lewd thoughts of you leaning over the center console, Spencer's hand in your hair as he helps you take his cock in your mouth. You steal one glance at Spencer, his right hand holding the steering wheel loosely. Your cheeks heat up as you glance down between his legs, get ahold of yourself.

"The address is-"

"I remember." You knew he would. That damn eidetic memory ensured that he never forgot anything. It broke your heart a little, because some naïve part of you was hoping he remembered because it meant something to him. You hoped he remembered the way to your house because he didn't want to forget, because forgetting it meant forgetting you. But you know the reality, you know that he remembers because he has no choice but to remember. His memory is too good to allow him to forget anything, even if it was something he wanted to forget. You're grasping at straws and you know you are, holding onto that foolish notion that Spencer still held onto the memories. That he still held onto the gifts you gave him, crying softly in the night like you did sometimes.

"JJ told me about Maeve." You say softly into the silence, and you saw Spencer swallow thickly out of the corner of your eye. "I'm so sorry you lost her Spence."

"Thank you." He honestly wasn't expecting you to say that, to acknowledge the pain. Because acknowledging the pain meant that you knew he loved her. He did love her. But it was a different love then the love he feels for you. It was special, but so are you. You're special too.

"Have you...dated anyone else?" Spencer can't help but ask as he subconsciously continues the drive to your house. A drive he's committed to his memory, a drive he never wants to forget. You shift to look at him, there were a few you dated. You know when you tell Spencer about them that it'll drive him crazy.

"Tony Anderson." You say and just like you thought, Spencer groans deeply. Spencer detests Tony, they were practically mortal enemies when he still lived in Las Vegas.

"Tony? Seriously?" His tone is incredulous as his grasp on the steering wheel tightens ever so slightly.

"He was a good fuck at least." You know you shouldn't wind him up, but he hurt you for Christ's sakes. He deserves a little bit of pain too. Spencer flinches, a look of anger and something else simmering in his eyes.

"Please tell me you didn't have sex with Tony."

"Why does it matter?" You shouldn't enjoy upsetting people as much as you do. But there's still a small part of you that's convinced that Spencer deserves this.

"Because I can't live with the fact that somebody else has gotten to feel that perfect cunt of yours, let alone Tony." His crude words take you by surprise, and you can't fight the gasp that escapes your mouth.

"Well before you start digging your grave, relax. I never had sex with Tony." You decide to put him out of his misery, and you see the relief physically flood his body. You lean against the window, the next admission from you will leave the air heavier in it's wake.

"I've never slept with anyone but you Spence." You realize it's been a long time since you've seen Spencer let alone had sex with him but you could never bring yourself to sleep with someone else. It's not as though the opportunity never presented itself, you had plenty of chances to have sex with someone else. But you couldn't because there's still a stubborn part of you that doesn't want to betray Spencer.

"Really? Why?" Apparently this revelation surprised him.

"Because no matter where you go I will always belong to you." You snap without thinking, blinking tears from your eyes as you avoid his gaze. Spencer fell silent then, and you know he feels guilty. Probably because he's slept with someone else in the time since he's been with you.

"I know you have and it's fine I'm not trying to-"

"I haven't." Spencer corrects instantly, his eyes meeting yours through the darkness of the SUV. If he could see you he would see the look of utter surprise on your face. It's not as though Spencer was an overly sexually ambitious person when you dated, but you figured he probably slept with at least one person. "I haven't slept with anybody else either."

"I know someone that wants to though." You grumble without thinking, your mind drifting to JJ and the obvious crush she thinks isn't obvious. Spencer tilts his head in a way that resembles a confused puppy, you resist the urge to ruffle his hair.

"Who?"

"Agent Jareau." As soon as the name slips past the threshold of your lips, Spencer's jerks the wheel in surprise. You see a dark blush color his cheeks as his other hand reaches up to steady the wheel.

"J-Jennifer? No way! She's my best friend." You nearly laugh at his flustered state, and normally you would push it a little further but you decide to let it go. You don't want to completely destroy the way he sees her, you know you already destroyed the way she sees him.

"You have no idea what a catch you are Spencer." You tell him as you unbuckle your seatbelt, getting ready to exit the SUV. Spencer reaches over and places a warm hand on your wrist to stop you from leaving, his eyes searching yours for an answer he isn't sure you have.

"Come in?" You ask hopefully, you're not ready for him to leave again. Damnit why did he have to turn up again after so long? You were just starting to think that maybe you could move on and find someone new. You were finally starting to feel okay, and then Spencer reappears and turns your entire world upsidown all over again. Deep down you know that nobody will ever compare to Spencer Reid, and you don't want them to. You don't want anyone to be like Spencer, you want him to be his entirely own person. It's what you love the most about him, is his ability to be himself no matter where he is or who he's with. All of his little quirks, the things about himself that he doesn't notice but you do.

"Yeah." His answer comes across as an exhalation of breath, and you try to hide how excited you are. You want to hold on to any moment you can, stolen moments that you take as you please with no regret whatsoever.

"Nothing has changed." Spencer muses once you unlock the front door and push inside the darkened living room. You blush, admittedly nothing about your small townhouse has changed. It's all basically the exact same as when Spencer saw it last. You rub a hand down your arm as Spencer's eyes go wandering. Trailing over the curtains he remembers hastily pulling closed to protect your decency on more than a few occasions. His gaze then travels to the couch, all those movie nights you two spent curled up together. Or when he got you into Star Trek and you couldn't stop watching it. Pain stabs his chest for a moment, it's hard to remember everything he had to let go of to get the job he has now.

"I miss you too, you know." Spencer says off-handedly. It takes you by surprise, the sureness in his tone is jarring. He sounds so comfortable admitting when he's vulnerable, it's never been easy for you to be vulnerable with him. Maybe that's part of the reason he left, maybe you drove him away by shutting him out. His eyes meet yours, a look so soft in his eyes it feels as though his gaze is caressing your skin. You bite your bottom lip to keep the emotions at bay, what is it about this man that makes you so emotional?

"I never said I missed you." You try to snap, to add an edge to your tone. But instead it came out watery and broken, and in turn Spencer reached up to swipe away a falling tear.

"But you do." You can't even deny it, it's obvious.

"Damn you Spencer Reid, I was finally starting to feel okay again." You cry softly, curling your arms towards your chest in an attempt to shrink away from him. He cups your cheeks in his palms, turning your face up towards him.

"I wasn't." He admits before his lips are on yours, and it's not frenzied and desperate like you've been picturing all these years. It's slow and calculated, soft and passionate. Firm but with a tenderness that makes your knees buckle from the gravity of it. Spencer's fingers card into your hair, pulling your head closer to his. He nips at your lower lip, his arms crushing you against his chest. You throw yourself into him, your arms holding him as tightly as you possibly can. Afraid that if your vise grip loosens, even for a second, that he'll slip through your fingers like trying to hold onto water. You almost don't want to let your eyes close, you don't want him to disappear again.

"I missed you, I miss you-" You gasp against his lips, grabbing fistfuls of his dress shirt. Spencer continues to move his lips languidly against yours, backing you against the wall. His hand ghosts down your side to the hem of your shirt, his fingers toying with it.

"O-Off." You beg, and in an instant Spencer is pulling your shirt over your head. His eyes land on your bare chest, shocked that he almost forgot that you never really wear a bra. His hands curl around your back, drawing your chest up into his awaiting lips. His mouth curls around your hardened nipple, your hand flying into his hair from the contact.

"Is this a dream? Please tell me you're really here Spencer." You beg, almost becoming lost in the emotions again. His eyes flutter up to meet yours, his mouth reluctantly leaving your nipple. He brushes his lips over yours, his hand trailing down your stomach towards the waistband of your leggings.

"This is real, I'm here baby. I'm home." Hearing those words was too much, and you launch yourself into his chest as the first tear trickles down your cheek. Your lips press sloppily to his, the kiss messy and wet as his hand slides into your leggings. His fingers find your wet slit in an instant, desperately parting your lips to slide a lithe finger into you. Your body reacts to him instantly, in a way that surprises you. Almost as though it too was crying out for him, keening into him and begging for his touch as much as your mind is. Spencer hauls one of your thighs up to hook around his waist as he presses another finger into you. You cry out softly into the quiet air, accompanied only by the labored breathing fanning across your face.

"I need to feel you, I- I need-" You can barely get the words out as he steadily pumps his fingers into you. His mouth on yours silences your desperate pleading, his chest firmly pressing your back into the wall. You missed being able to feel him and you hate that you forgot what it feels like to have his body on yours. It's been so long you forgot what the sting of his cock feels like. What it feels like when you stretch wide open around him, to feel like you're being ripped in two. Spencer continues his pace, his thumb rolling your clit to provide the extra stimulation you're missing. It's not enough to satisfy you, but its enough for you two cum. Which you do. You gush around his fingers as you gently come undone, your back arching into him.

"Please," You beg wantonly, curling your other leg around his waist as his hands hook underneath your thighs. Spencer's lips press against yours, moving slowly against your own. You know now that you will never stop loving Spencer, and that he's completely ruined you for life. You'll never be able to love anybody else without your heart wandering back to him. But then again, you don't really mind because you don't want to be with anybody else. You don't want to love anybody else. You just want him, only him. He pushes into your room, walking the entirety of the way with his eyes closed and his mouth pressed against yours. He has the layout of your house mapped out in his head? He never even bumped into anything until he was dropping you unceremoniously on the bed.

"Tell me what you need, I'll give you whatever you want." Spencer husks against you, hovering above you. Your fingers are already unbuttoning his shirt before you even have the chance to respond to him. You know instantly what you want, what you need from him.

"I want all of you, give me everything." You plead, your lips practically chasing his as he kneels up over you. He's being soft tonight, and that's something you appreciate greatly. You need to feel his love, you need to feel everything you know he can't quite put into words. His hands are shaking as he undoes the button and zipper of his dress slacks before kicking them off the edge of the bed. You stare up at his naked body, looking as though it's been sculpted by the Gods specifically for you. Spencer smiles softly at you as he pulls your leggings down your legs, leaving little nips and kisses on your inner thighs as he goes.

"Hurry." You groan, nearly clawing at his bare shoulders to pull him back up to you. Spencer chuckles at how eager you are, watching with interested eyes as the head of his cock breaches your folds. You reluctantly stretch open as he continues his intrusion, his fists curling tightly around the sheets. Christ you weren't lying about not sleeping with anyone else, you're so tight it's making him feel a little lightheaded. Inch by inch Spencer presses into you, his forehead resting against yours once his pelvis is sitting flush against yours. Sure, you've had sex with hi before but never have you felt this connected to him. Spencer sits like a gentleman and lets you adjust to his size, trying to take a few deep breaths himself. It's hard to breathe with your heat sucking him in with a vice grip.

"Can I move?" You're surprised by how collected his voice is, but the furrow of his brow is a giveaway that he's losing the battle to stay stock still inside you.

"Yes, please." You moan, unashamed. Spencer gently draws his hips back, pulling himself nearly all the way out before swiftly sliding back into your inviting cunt. He sets the pace slow and deep, his hands reaching up to lace through yours. Every time the head of his cock nudges that spot deep inside you, you can feel your toes curl. Your head slams back against the pillows, unable to keep your gaze on him any longer. You feel yourself becoming one with him, and you wish you could capture this moment somewhere other then just in your minds eye. Your memory is nowhere near as good as Spencer's, he'll be able to recall every detail of this moment up until the day he dies. But over time, this memory will fade for you. It'll wear out, all the details becoming fuzzy and blurred. If he's not here in front of you, you'll forget and you don't want to forget.

When the night draws to a close, and the moon has reached its peak, Spencer slips carefully out of bed. It chisels away pieces of his heart as he carefully gets dressed, reaching for his go bag which he'd brought inside upon realizing that he'd be staying a while. He pulls out a t-shirt he'd worn recently and leaves it folded neatly at the end of your bed, something for you to hold onto when he's gone. Spencer's cheeks are wet with tears as he leans over and presses a kiss to your head.

"I love you." Is the last thing he whispers in the space between you two before he's gone again.

On the jet, Derek can't keep his eyes off Spencer and that helplessly broken look on his face. A book is laid nestled in Spencer's lap, but Derek can tell he isn't really reading it. Trying to bother Spencer into opening up probably won't work, but it's worth a try. Derek has to do something and this is all he can think of.

"You okay kid?"

"Yeah fine, why?" Spencer draws his eyes up from the book, his gaze meeting Derek's from across the table. While Spencer might be a talented actor, he can't lie to Derek.

"Look I know how hard it must have been leaving her again-"

"Did you know that on average the FDA allows a minimum of 1 rodent hair per 100 grams of peanut butter? They have to allow themselves room for error just in case of-"

"Alright you win, forget it." Derek sighs, turning his gaze out the window. In an instant Spencer drops his peanut butter spiel, turning back to his book. A guaranteed way to get people off his back is to start rambling about something boring or gross, they usually leave him alone pretty quickly. It's not that Spencer doesn't appreciate Derek's concern, he just doesn't want to talk about it. He can't talk about it, because every time he imagines how you're going to feel when you wake up, tears come to the surface of his eyes. He hates this case more than all the rest even though they saved the victim. Spencer hates this case for ripping open an old wound, one he thought healed.

He was wrong.

When you wake the next morning you knew he'd be gone. That didn't stop the tears from coming when you reached over and felt cold sheets. That didn't stop the tears from coming when you cried how much you loved him over and over again even though he couldn't hear you. It doesn't change how badly this hurts, how much worse it feels compared to the first time he left. Your eyes catch the shirt folded at the end of the bed and you grab it instantly. You pull it over your body and you lay down in your bed, inhaling his cologne that you know will fade over time. Eventually his scent will disappear, removing all traces that this fabric belonged to him at all. Every trace of him will disappear over time, every mark from your body will slowly vanish. When it's all gone, you'll be left with nothing more than a t-shirt that's too big for you, and a cold reminder that the man you love will never truly be yours. A reminder that every time he comes home, he leaves again.

A cold reminder that this world is cruel for bringing you Spencer Reid, only to rip him from you again and again.

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #spencer x y/n #spencer x you

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havin-fun-imagining-twd · 3 years

Text

How’s your head? Pt 1

Word Count - 2,600

Perspective - 2nd person

When - the Quarry, the day after “Quarter!” Find the Slowpoke Series and other stuff right here, friends!

Relationships - as always, you and the gang! But Part 1 of this particular story is just you and your bud Amy. The Daryl crush hadn’t formed yet, that starts to flicker in the story “Slowpoke,” so this part continues to follow “your” perception of him, as well as his season 1-2 character arc. And not to blaspheme, but this part actually mentions a crush that “you” have on (*gasp*) a different character

Genre - just some fluff and exposition, nothing too serious

Pronouns - reader is specified as being a woman in this one. But if you prefer to ignore it, go for it! This is reader-insert fanfiction, y’all, do what you want!

TWs - a few impolite words

“Hold up, they’re goin’ to Atlanta for supplies?”

“They’re going to Atlanta for supplies,” Amy confirms, visibly worried about it. Her big sister was going, too. She said that Andrea was trying to carve out her purpose in all this, and runs seemed to help give her purpose.

“But like, why not one of the smaller towns like we’ve done before?” you want to know. “The feds firebombed it! And, and everyone knows it was the big cities got ruined first, what with the sickness, then all the riots, the looting.”

“I guess, because the big cities were so packed, they were the first places people panicked and tried to leave so they wouldn’t catch sick,” she explains. “When Dale was rescued my sister and I, we saw the highway going out. It was completely jammed.” She gets teary and whispers “So many people trying to get out.”

You bite your lip.“I didn’t consider that part, that the cities were left emptier.”

Neither of you chose to voice that they were emptier now not only because it had been far easier to catch and spread the fever and turn into one of those things, meaning it was also easier to get bit or eat—um, sorry, not that word, you meant, um...to get bit and ‘attacked.’

You didn’t like acknowledging the other thing the sick people were doing.

Still, it seemed so risky. Sure the group could sneak and go quietly into the big city, but there were so many of them in there. The city must be horrific, especially when you consider the dead ones you'd encountered. Uh oh. You quickly try to think of anything else to get those images out of your head...

“I’m surprised you’re not going this time,” Amy comments.

“I was fixing to. Probably still would if it wasn’t to Atlanta,” you tell her. “I was wonderin’ why they wanted me to stay home for the next supply run.”

“The headaches?”

“Yeah, the migraines,” you subtly correct.

“How’s your head now? It’s gone, right?” she asked, referring to said migraine you’d gotten earlier.

“Oh yeah, I’m good, just feel really heavy.”

You got headaches on a fairly regular basis, and handled those fine. But you guessed that the barometric pressure or whatever must’ve been going wild (or you just had rotten luck; your triggers weren’t reliable), because in the past two weeks you’d also gotten five migraines – and those aren’t something that can be handled as easily. For you, a visual disturbance would start things off, followed by the pain and the rest of the fun stuff like light and sound sensitivity and nausea, then heavy exhaustion when it was over.

Luckily, your migraines weren’t always dramatic, but when they were, you obviously weren’t at your best.

And now your understood why Jacqui had talked with you yesterday and firmly suggested that you stay home for the next run, since it was going be further than usual. She just didn’t mention that “further than usual” meant Atlanta.

Amy fluttered her eyelashes at you and said “We’ll simply have to have fun together here, I guess.”

So you press a hand over your brow and pretend to whimper in your best uppity accent “How positively dreadful, whatever shall we do? And so close to your birthday!”

You were definitely disappointed about the run, though. Firstly because you’d been asked to stay, and that made you feel self-conscious and useless, secondly because you had to miss out on helping. You liked feeling useful and feeling like you belonged, and helping on supply runs made you feel useful and that you belonged.

You’d actually found it easier to deal with your depression since the fall of everything, because it had given you a clear purpose: protect your loved ones. But if you felt useless, like you weren’t doing enough to help them and protect them, then it was much easier for those dips in your mood to affect you much harder.

Also, you and Glenn had been competing with each other on runs for various things, usually about who was faster. You were finding that you really liked him.

“Don’t worry.” Amy grinned and rested her chin on her hands. “Glenn will still think you’re cool even if you miss this one.”

You purse your lips. “Amy.”

She tilts her head playfully at you. “You’re both friendly and goofy, and he’s cute, and we’re all like the same age, so what’s wrong?”

“Oh my gosh, not to deflect but thank you for saying I’m goofy.” You lean forward to share this detail about yesterday. “So during the last lesson, you know how we re-went over making a proper fist and all, right?”

Amy nods.

“Luis asked me if I’d ever broken a finger ‘when’ I’d punched someone. When, not if!”

You heave a sigh, then have to laugh a little. “I spent the rest of the day worryin’ if that’s the impression I give. I mean, kids are honest when it comes to stuff like that.”

“That’s not the worst impression to give out these days,” she mutters, almost to herself.

“Oh. So I do come across like that,” you accept quietly. You attempt a happy face. “You’re right, it – it could be worse.”

But to your relief, she now she looks confused and shakes her head. “No, that’s not what I meant. Luis most likely assumed that because you like teaching them self-defense. I never got that vibe from you.

“Good,” you answer in a really deep tone of voice, play-flexing your arms in the hopes of deflecting from how self-conscious Luis' comment made you feel about how you present yourself.

She snorts and insists “I’m being honest, I never got that impression from you, of all people. I was only saying that I myself wouldn’t mind giving out that sort of vibe sometimes.” There was something that didn’t sit well with you about the expression on her face right then.

You could feel your blood pressure starting to raise. “Did Carol’s husband or one of the Dixon brothers say somethin’ to you? Something inappropriate?”

“Merle says crude things to every person here. And as you’ve experienced, Ed just either leers or glares at us,” she said, referring to the women of the camp. Ugh, and yesterday night when you walked by his and Carol’s tent, he’d loudly referred to the homework assignment you given to build a stick cabin by asking “how deep did she reach into her ass to pull out that idea?”

“Are you tellin’ me the truth? Did they make you feel unsafe at all?” you press, while simultaneously trying to relax yourself so you wouldn’t seem so hot-headed.

“Cross my heart.” She was peering at you thoughtfully now. “Okay, I think I solved it: it’s that you’re protective, in a good way, especially of the kids.” A shrug and a smile. “Luis would feel comfortable asking you about ‘when’ you punched someone because he feels safe with you and is confident that you’d defend him from things that could hurt him. That’s a very high compliment.” Then she makes you feel even better by adding “And you know how honest kids are when it comes to stuff like that.”

By now you’re not sure if you can speak much because your voice might sound all wobbly. She did not need to go so hard with being so kind, yet she did because that was the type of person that she was. “Amy? I love you and you’re my best friend and I love you,” you repeat.

“I know, and I love you too,” she replies, mouth twisting into a half-smile. “And to think: we’ve known each other the exact same amount of time as you and you-know-who.”

“Ugh, but I don’t know him well enough yet for anything more than friendship,” you whine.

“That’s what dates are for, silly.”

“No way. I would only feel comfortable with that sort of thing if I knew the person very well.”

“And yet you said you’d ‘marry T-Dog in a heartbeat.’ Have you ever dated?”

“T-Dog is a very good man, one would be blind to not see it, he just ain’t in my age range. Anyways, I haven’t really dated, not really.” Crushes yes, but when you learned that someone had a crush on you? Fear and friend-zoning. It was something you were working on fixing in yourself. “It just works differently for me. I’m slow-to-open when it comes to romantic things.”

“What about Surinder, though?”

Your heart feels both light and heavy when you think about him. “We were good friends and liked each other. But we were both very slow, and wouldn’t pursue nothing further until we were very certain it could work.”

She groans “That’s both sweet and exasperating.”

“Oh hush,” you crack up. “It was nice to be on the same page. And he was handsome, and his sister was my best friend.”

“But then he decided to become a priest. The celibate kind.”

“Hey, he realized he might could’ve been called to be a priest, it’s different. It works different how they do it,” you laugh. It was good that you could laugh about it now. You knew that the seminary where he’d been studying had been razed back when things were at their peak. It was awful. Suri didn’t deserve to go out like that. “Anyways, as soon as I know someone I like like is taken, I stop pinin’ immediately. It’s a gift.”

She pouts. “Maybe for my birthday I’ll insist on dolling you up. I want to see how nervous Glenn gets.”

“Oo, what do you want to do for your birthday?” you ask excitedly. “Well, your pre-birthday?” Her actual birthday wasn’t for a few days.

“Well, I was thinking...”

You rub your hands together and smile in anticipation. All of you were determined to make her birthday nice, given the end-of-the-civilized-world situation you found yourselves in. Andrea has been looking around on runs for the perfect present for her, she was thinking jewelry. Carol had tucked away the best tasting MREs her husband had been hoarding. Miranda and Mr. Morales were keeping aside some pudding cups.

And you yourself had lucked out the other week; at this bait and tackle shop, you’d managed to find this children’s three-pack of walkie talkies that looked like cell phones! Amy really missed texting. Now, the walkies didn’t have the biggest range, but they were cute (and rainproof!), so she’d still get a kick out of them. Plus, she often did radio duty when she wasn’t on kid duty, so you were very pleased with your find.

Amy gazes out of your tent in the direction of the quarry with a twinkle in her eye. She finally bursts out “I wanna do the chicken swim across the quarry!”

Oh noo. You love to swim, but deep water and you didn’t mix well! Yeah, you made a point to push yourself to get over your fears (except for dating), but, but, but...swim the quarry?! You struggle to keep your face calm. You breathe.

It was her birthday and she deserved a happy, carefree, fun one. “Okay,” you agree. “Ch-chicken swim across the quarry.”

“It’s good that you’re nervous! I’m nervous too!” She claps her hands. “It’s gonna be so terrifying and fun that we’ll be shaking by the end of it!”

A nervous sound comes out of you unwillingly. “So other than braving the deep-water quarry monster and riskin’ certain death,” you start, Amy chuckling at your wording, “What else you wanna do?”

“Let’s paint nails after.” She looks wistfully up at the sky. “Then I could probably eat a whole tray of cupcakes by myself,” she wishes out loud. “Red velvet cupcakes and vanilla with rainbow sprinkles.”

You frown in solidarity, but smile on the inside to know that Mr. Morales and Miranda had those pudding cups saved for her. But you could totally find some sprinkles, too. “I might can convince Daryl to go on a run to a town nearby with me instead of a hunt. People can’t have pilfered all the snacks yet.”

She crossed her arms and leaned back. “Daryl is interesting, isn’t he?”

You scrunch up your nose. “Here I thought that you secretly had a crush on Glenn, too.”

“Well, Glenn is funny and cute,” she admits. “But I was only thinking – objectively – that Daryl is...interesting.”

You tilt your head as you consider. “You mean what went on with the last lesson?”

“Yeah! How could you not be intrigued?”

“Amy, just imagine how he’d treat a woman, though. How’d he’d treat his kids –”

“But that was the interesting thing: he treated the kids well, didn’t he? He walked over and started to help out.”

“For all we know, it’s because he wants to feel ‘em up.”

Amy makes a face and seems to weigh that option. “I don’t get that feeling from him at all. He almost seems like he’s not into anyone that way. You said he immediately looked away from my chest after the squall, no one else there had that reaction other than Dale, you said.”

“True.” It was why you decided he was safe to ask to teach you to hunt. There’d been a squall one of the first days here, Amy had on a white shirt and a thin bra, a mistake she’ll never make again. Both Dixons had been there, and Daryl’s gaze immediately turned away.

“Have you ever gotten the prey feeling when you’re around him? Perhaps, say, when you go out hunting with him alone?” she points out.

“I go with a big-ass knife and a taser, plus he knows Shane will murder him if any harm comes to me,” you declare, waving that off. “And...no. I’ve never gotten the prey feelin’ around him, you’re right.” You bite your lip. “And he didn’t get very close to the kids, just sorta briefly adjusted their positioning. Seemed uncomfortable even doin’ that.”

“And then he checked his pockets for quarters, and kept a tally of how many he owed the kids.”

“Amy has a crush on Daryl Dixon,” you monotone.

Now she’s the one pursing her lips. “I have a crush on Jordan back at grad school. I give the benefit of the doubt to Daryl.” She pauses. “But I can admit that his shoulders are nice and broad.”

“Mm, that’s true.” It was. They were nice and broad. Pretty eye-color, too. And there was something about his gait that was, dunno, pleasing.

“Besides, it’s not like I can dish to you about how cute I think Shane is, he’s your brother!”

“Ugh, and Shane knows he’s handsome, tell you what.” You stifle a groan. “He still shaves his chest.”

She can’t stop from giggling now. “Of course I’ve noticed that,” she teases. “My sister thinks he’s hot.”

“He does tend to wander around with his shirt barely buttoned,” you groan, not bothering to stifle this one.

“Pickings are slim, it’s either gonna be Shane, T-Dog, Jim,” she counts. “Or Daryl. Glenn’s too young for her.”

“How excellent that Glenn’s the perfect age for you, then,” you remind her.

“Or you,” she pointedly reminds you back.

“Why wouldn’t your sister go for Teddy, though, he’s like the best,” you wonder out loud. “And Jim was a family man.”

“Jim’s not in any place yet.” The poor man. Watched his wife and children get eat– um, get attacked by the sick people. You weren’t ready to use the actual verb for what happened to someone when the roamers caught them.

“All I’m saying,” Amy finishes, “Is that your brother is...objectively –”

“You and that word,” you joke, sticking your tongue out.

She sticks her tongue back at you. “Your brother is objectively the hottest man in the camp right now.”

You roll your eyes and lift your hands in pretend surrender. “I was kinda noticing that...I dunno, Shane seems to be holdin’ something for Lori.”

“Mm, I could see that,” Amy says.

“Yeah. Well, he’s known her for ages, known Carl since before he was born.” You exhale. “Then he sort of threw himself into keepin’ them and me safe after Rick, um, y-you know. After.” Now you shrug. “Recently, I’ve noticed that it might could’ve started to turn into something else.”

Whoa, what the– oh no. Something just bumped into your tent from the outside, and heavily.

You fumble around for the taser and immediately give it to Amy as you whip the out the knife you keep under your pillow.

No way one of them could’ve gotten into the camp. No way in hell.

Right?

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kenkamishiro · 3 years

Text

Lost in Translation: Choujin X chapter 1

Fun fact, I was planning to do fan translations for Choujin X with a scan group until it could get a simulpub release, though I didn’t expect it to get one from the very first chapter lol. I’m happy though since it means everyone can read it right away and it doesn’t mess up my schedule.

So instead I’ll be making comparison notes between the EN and JP text to supplement the official translation. I’m not doing this because the official TL is bad (I actually think it’s pretty solid and I hope it will maintain this quality) but because it’s inevitable for something to be lost in translation, and it’s nice to have that additional context for theory crafting and whatnot.

If you want to read it on Twitter instead, the original thread is here, but this is the proofread and way more detailed version 😄

This translation isn’t wrong, but there’s an emphasis on それ (which is TLed as ‘it’) that connotes a stronger, “other, that thing” feeling that isn’t present here. The general idea behind this sentence is: That [becoming a Choujin] resembles more of a disease [than a transformation].

Ely talks like a tomboy, she uses rougher speech patterns and the pronoun オラ (ora), a derivative of the masculine 'ore'. But it's a bit old-fashioned (eg. すまなんだ) which makes sense considering her upbringing with her grandfather on a farm. Hence her country bumpkin speech pattern in English.

Not sure if I should use Ellie or Ely? Ellie makes more sense based on the kana, but Ishida explicitly called her Ely so I might stick with Ely for now... (also istg that blond guy with the huge chin is a reference, I've seen him somewhere)

Tokio, I know your teacher is annoying, but it's rude to call her that lol. This is basically the oppai equivalent of paisen (senpai backwards, it’s slangier). Similar thing actually happened with Ely describing her dream hubby as Goldilocks instead of blond; ‘kinpatsu’ (blond hair) was inverted to become ‘patsukin’, hence the translation as Goldilocks.

Kurohara Tokio (黒原トキオ) and Higashi Azuma (東アヅマ). Kurohara is a common surname, means 'black fields'. Tokio is in katakana, so it’s hard to say what kanji it could be. 'Toki' could be 時 (time) or 外喜 (outside + delight). The 'o' can be the common male name suffix 男 (boy).

But when I think of Tokio, I think of TK's song called 'tokio'. You can read the translated lyrics here. If these lyrics end up being relevant to Tokio's character development I will eat my shoe lol.

Higashi means 'east'. Azuma (which can also be romanized as Aduma, it’s a softer ‘zu’ sound which is why Tokio called Azuma ‘Aju’ earlier in the chapter before correcting himself) is an archaic form of ‘east’. So...this guy is literally East East. The Choujin X equivalent of Moon Moon 😂

Someone also informed me that Higashi Azuma is a station in Tokyo, though the kana are slightly different (アヅマ／あづま vs. あずま). They effectively sound the same though nowadays, if I have to be honest. It’s like comparing the difference between 애 and 에 in Korean.

Tbh this is minor, but worth mentioning just cause it changes the meaning a bit. Tokio is saying something more like, “Why are we even talking about this [the roly-polies] again?”

I think I heard people talking about how the official TL doesn’t match the original text, but personally I really like how this was translated! Sis is using the expression 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」, which literally means “boiling the dirt under someone’s fingernails and drinking it”. By taking the dirt/grime under the fingernails of someone that you admire, and boiling it and drinking it like a tea, you can become more like them.

But because idioms don’t tend to directly translate well between languages, translators often have to adapt it so that the meaning still remains the same. In English the closest idiom we have to this is “rubbing off on someone.” The “holding hands” bit was added to replace the physical aspect of “taking the dirt from someone’s fingernails” and also contribute to Sis’s sassy and very informal way of speaking.

So Sis is saying in JP (ignoring her personal speech style for now):

You should take the dirt from under [Azuma's] fingernails and boil it so you can be more like him.

And now in ENG it becomes:

You guys should hold hands or something, then maybe he’ll rub off on you.

It now sounds natural in English, still carries the same meaning as the original text, and also suits the character’s speech pattern.

Moving on, in that same panel the literal TL of Tokio’s dialogue is, “Policeman Azuma got dispatched again today,” emphasizing Azuma’s heroic deeds along with his family connections to the police. Another thing I want to note is that this is the second time Azuma has been called 偉い (erai) so far - noble, and now great guy. I’ll just dump the general English definition of 偉い from Jisho here so you get the general idea:

Great; excellent; admirable; remarkable; distinguished; important; celebrated; famous; eminent

But you can tell from how people describe Azuma as 偉い that others look up to him, think he’s a great person and Mr. Perfect. Always being placed on a pedestal by others. (What are the odds this will affect his mentality after the Choujin serum?)

The meaning is still pretty much the same, but I’ll offer a slightly different perspective. Sis mentions that if she were Tokio, she’d burst from the [Azuma] complex. (Clearly Tokio and Azuma's relationship is gonna crack at some point)

Tokio mentions an idiom about hawks (taka) before recalling his childhood memory about vultures. Vultures are called 'hagewashi', but in the chapter it mentions they can also be called 'hagetaka' (buzzard/condor, literally bald hawk).

The kids call him names like "Hagetaka Tokio" and "Hageo". But Hagetaka Tokio only really works in JP cause Hagetaka kinda mimics his last name (Buzzard Tokio doesn't give the same vibe). Same with Hageo. Hage-o = Bald-o = Baldy.

I also think Buzzard was chosen over another name for a vulture like Condor because Buzzard can pass off as an insult.

I would have translated this as, “I wanted to be a lion too...” but this is just personal preference.

A continuation of the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression Sis used earlier. Without the adapted idiom the exchange goes something like this:

Tokio: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?

Azuma: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.

Tokio: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.

Azuma: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.

But since the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression was modified to make it sound natural in English, it means this conversation has to be modified too.

JP: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?

EN: My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you. What do you think?

The “dirt from under your nails” part got adapted to “holding hands”, hence how the 1st line from Tokio becomes, “My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you.” “Can I have some?” makes no sense now in this context now, so it was changed to “What do you think?” as a question to Azuma to keep the similar conversation flow going.

JP: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.

EN: Huh? What’re you talking about? No thanks.

Azuma’s next line is similar enough to the JP text except for the removal of “scary”. I think the reason it was most likely removed is because leaving it as it is could be constituted as homophobic (2 boys holding hands, absolutely nothing scary about it as bible thumpers would like people to believe).

JP: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.

EN: She said to hold hands so you’ll rub off on me.

Tokio’s response to that is explaining what he meant by his proposal. In the original text he lays out the latter half of the idiom (he doesn’t even realize it’s an expression, poor boy), and in English he does something similar by going into why his sister said they should hold hands (so Azuma can rub off on Tokio).

JP: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.

EN: C’mon. That’s not how things work.

Azuma’s then rebuts Tokio’s proposal as ridiculous. In the original text he drops a typical straight man response (don’t do *insert whatever ridiculous thing the idiot suggested*). But since Tokio’s proposal in English isn’t as preposterous, his rebuttal is toned down in response by telling him not to take it literally.

Ultimately, even though a lot of this dialogue was changed, I still think it was successful in maintaining the original’s intent. Tokio takes his sister’s sarcastic suggestion literally and brings it up to Azuma, who dismisses it as silly. It would be nice if we could keep the expression as it was in Japanese, but in instances like this where it’s played off of in multiple lines, that’s easier said than done.

軟体 isn’t an actual word, it’s made up of the kanji soft + body. So kinda like Elastigirl, but Flexi was chosen instead. It doesn’t sound 100% right, but I don’t think I could come up with anything better.

Replacing the しい in 楽しい with the C plus that elongated pronunciation makes Johnny sound even more like a stereotypical Yankee, which is why he sounds like that in English 😂

Random but I found it interesting how Azuma called Johnny a youkai (妖怪) instead of something like bakemono (化け物) or obake (お化け) since they’re shapeshifting monsters.

Tokio is worried that if he doesn't do something right now, he's going to lose his friendship with Azuma. The sentence is fine as it is though.

Azuma’s line can also be worded as, "No hard feelings, okay?"

Bestial = 獣化 (juuka) = beast+change = beast transformation

That’s it from me, if you have questions about the TL feel free to send an ask or reply to this post, I promise I’ll check my inbox more often this time 😂

#Choujin X #Translations #fyi i also went into the holding hands TL #tl;dr i don't think it's bad and suits it well #but that's just my opinion

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dottielovegood · 3 years

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ASMR - chapter 3

Elriel fanfiction

About this fic:

Azriel can’t sleep Elain has an ASMR channel Match made in heaven (or you know, on youtube..)

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You can find chapter 1 here and chapter 2 here Read this fic on AO3

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Chapter 3

Luckily for Azriel, the next day was a Saturday, which meant that he didn’t have to go to work. The only plan he had that day was his gym appointment at 7.00 in the morning, just like every other day. Cassian and Rhys often gave him shit for going to the gym that early in the morning on weekends, but they had partners to enjoy the days with. Azriel did not, which meant that working out was a good way to pass time. Especially for someone like Azriel who didn’t sleep and seemed to have more hours to his days than most regular people did.

However, today he woke up to the sun shining in through his window. He picked up his phone to check the time and was surprised to see that it said 9.23. He never slept that late. And he never slept that well.

She made me miss my gym appointment, Azriel thought to himself and couldn’t help but smile. And then it hit him. It was 9.23. That meant that Flower Girl ASMR would call him in exactly 37 minutes, and he hadn’t even had coffee yet. Azriel quickly got out of bed and hurried to the kitchen. While the coffee was brewing he jumped into the shower. He didn’t know why, but it felt wrong to be on the phone with her without having a shower first. Just like it would feel wrong to show up to a date without showering.

This is not a date, he told himself as he tied the towel around his hips and walked back into his kitchen. Azriel lived in a studio apartment, which meant that his ‘kitchen’ was actually a corner of his living room/bedroom. It was quite big for a studio apartment and he could easily fit his bed, a big sectional, and a dining room table in the room. There were exposed bricks on one wall which gave it a rustic feeling, and the white sleek details everywhere else made it feel modern and minimalistic - just like Azriel preferred.

Azriel leaned against his counter and sipped his coffee. He glanced at the clock on the wall which told him that he had 15 minutes left before the phone call. His hands were sweating. Was it because the coffee was so warm? Azriel tried to tell himself that the coffee was the reason for his warm hands, but it was more difficult to find an explanation for the butterflies in his stomach.

He was nervous. Not because of what they were going to talk about - he could probably guide someone through this in his sleep. But because she made him nervous. It’s one thing to see someone in a video and talk via DMs and an entirely different thing to facetime that person. What if she thought that he was ugly?

As the thought entered his mind, he shook his head as if trying to shake the thought away. Why did he care? He was just helping her with a problem. It didn’t matter if she found him ugly because this was a one-time thing. He would never see her again.

The butterflies turned into a tight knot in his stomach.

Azriel let out a low groan and went to his wardrobe to get dressed. He put on a black T-shirt and black jeans - his standard uniform. He dried his hair hastily with the towel before throwing it in the hamper.

At 10.00 on the dot, Azriel’s phone started ringing on the kitchen island. Or vibrating actually, since he always kept the sound off.

Unknown number is calling

Azriel stared at his phone, suddenly feeling very shy and questioning everything he knew about computers. He checked his reflection in the microwave and let out a deep breath before answering.

“Hello, this is Azriel.” His voice was hoarse, sounding deeper than usual.

“Oh, hi!” A cheery voice said and he was a bit taken aback. In his stupid brain, he had imagined her answering in her whispering voice. “Is this… is this Shadowsinger?”

Azriel decided that her normal voice was just as wonderful as her whispering voice.

“Yeah, this is Shadowsinger. Or well, that’s not my name. I’m obviously not called that. That would be weird…” Azriel babbled, growing more and more self-conscious by the second. He took a deep breath. “I’m Azriel.”

“Hi, Azriel. I’m Elain.” He could hear the smile in her voice and it made him think of sunshine and flowers.

Elain. The name suited her. It was a welsh name that meant fawn. Or at least that’s what Feyre told him one night when she had spent three hours going over possible baby names with their entire friend group (After three hours, Azriel, Cassian, Mor and Nesta had been very drunk and started suggesting weird names from TV such as Khaleesi, Anakin and Buffy which led to Rhys kicking them out.) But Elain wasn’t a weird name. It was pretty. Just like the person that the name belonged to.

“Hello, Elain,” Azriel said quickly when he realized that he had been quiet for a short while.

“Azriel is… an interesting name.” He couldn’t tell from her tone if it was good interesting or bad interesting.

He chuckled. “Yeah, try growing up with the nickname ‘Ass’ in school. Not Az. Ass.”

He could hear Elain laugh and it warmed his heart. “Oh no,” she giggled.

There was a stretch of silence then, both of them unsure of how to begin this.

“So...” Elain started after a few moments. “How do I block words on Youtube, Azriel?”

As soon as the words traveled through the phone, he wanted to ask her to say his name again, but that would be weird. So instead he cleared his throat and got himself into work mode.

“Well, I didn’t know if you were a visual learner, but I created a Youtube account yesterday so I could show you what to do, and you could just follow along if you like?”

God, was he doing too much? Would she find this creepy? Maybe he should just tell her what to do without video.

But to his surprise, Elain did not sound creeped out. “Really? That would be so helpful! How...How can I see your screen though?”

Azriel huffed a laugh. It was kind of cute that she was so oblivious when it came to technology even though she had 250k followers on Youtube.”Well, we’ll change to FaceTime and I will be able to flip the screen and just show you what I’m doing. Is that okay with you?”

He was met with silence.

“Elain?”

“Oh, sorry. I was nodding,” she laughed. “Yes, that’s fine.”

Azriel clicked the icon for FaceTime on his screen and within seconds, her face filled his screen. Her brown hair was in a high ponytail and she wore a mint green hoodie. She wasn’t wearing any makeup and Azriel had to catch his breath. God, why did she have to be so beautiful? He realized that he was staring at her through the screen but his brain wouldn’t form words.

“Hi,” Elain smiled, her cheeks turning pink. “I kind of forgot that we would see each other and not just a screen. Sorry that I look like a mess. I’m going to the gym after this...” She gestured to her hair and Azriel had no idea what mess she was referring to.

“What? You look wonderful,” he said and as soon as the words registered in his brain he wished to be swallowed up by a hole in the ground. He winced. “I mean... I just–” he was making it worse. Lovely. “I just meant that you don’t look like a mess.”

She gave him the sweetest smile. “Well, You don’t look too bad yourself.” She was blushing even more now. Was he blushing too? He had never blushed in his life, so he didn’t even know what that would feel like, but he did feel a bit hot.

Azriel cleared his throat. “So,” he started. “I’m going to flip my screen and film my laptop now. Tell me if you can see what I’m doing.”

“Okay!”

Azriel logged into Youtube and held his phone in front of the screen. “Can you see?” He held the phone in front of his computer, and even though she couldn’t see him anymore, he could still see her.

“Just a second,” she said and held up a finger. She was moving and so was her camera. When she reappeared, Azriel was very happy that she couldn’t see him. She was wearing glasses and they made her, if possible, even more attractive. Her beautiful golden eyes looked even bigger. Like a fawn, Azriel thought to himself.

“Yes, I can see when you have the phone so close to the screen,” she answered.

“Okay, good. Are you near your own computer?”

“Yes! And I’m already logged into my Youtube account.”

Azriel nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “Great. Then you should see your profile picture here in the corner.” He showed her where to look.

“Mhm, I see it.”

She was focusing so hard on the screen, she had probably forgotten that he could see her. She was leaning in close enough for Azriel to see her freckles.

I want to kiss every single freckle on her body.

The thought entered his brain before he could even react and he was very happy that she wasn’t a mind reader. He tried to ignore her face on his screen and focus on his task.

“You will click the photo, and that should display a menu,” he explained. “Like this. You are going to click ‘Youtube Studio’ here.”

Elain scrunched up her nose in concentration and Azriel thought that he might die from the cuteness.

“Done! What next?”

“Okay, then you click ‘Settings’ at the bottom here,” he showed her where to look. “And then you choose ‘Community’”

“Community?” She asked and bit her lip.

Azriel wanted to bite that lip too.

“Yeah,” he answered, happy that he didn’t have to come up with more advanced words.

“And then you scroll down to ‘blocked words’ here,” he instructed. “Are you there?”

“Yes, I found it,” she answered with a smile.

“Well, aren’t you a gold star student?” Azriel joked and Elain’s face went from smiling to blushing in a nano-second.

“Thank you,” she mumbled.

There was a beat of silence again. Azriel wanted to kick himself.

“What now?” Elain asked in a low voice, still determined to get this over with.

“Well, now you just fill in the words you want to block. Make sure that you separate each word or phrase with a comma. And then you just press save and that’s it.”

“Oh, okay. That was easier than I imagined.”

Silence again.

“Can you manage from here?”

Elain bit her lip again. She was staring somewhere behind her phone; probably at her computer. “Ehm, I’m not sure what words to block.”

Azriel thought back to the awful comments he had seen and could think of a handful of words.

“Well, just block the words that these commenters often use, and maybe block bad words in general? You can review your comments later, so if nice comments are being filtered, you can choose to restore them while deleting the bad ones.”

Elain nodded and Azriel didn’t know if he should hang up or stay. So he stayed. His camera was still facing his computer, and Elain was still filming herself. She looked lost in thought.

“Are you okay, Elain?” Azriel asked cautiously, afraid to startle her.

“Hmm?” She looked straight at the camera now, eyes still glossy.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just… tired. I really like doing ASMR, but this sucks. I just want to make people happy and spread positivity, you know? And still, I have to deal with this.”

“Yeah, that must suck.”

Azriel had a question that he had been burning to ask, but he didn’t know if it was too personal. However, as he told himself before, they were never going to see each other again. He could always ask, and the worst thing he could get was a ‘no, I don’t want to talk about it’.

So he asked.

“Elain, can I ask you something?”

She nodded absentmindedly.

“Yesterday you wrote that you had blocked those trolls multiple times. Are you certain that they’re the same people?”

She nodded again. “Yes. In the beginning, they were a bit more creative with the usernames which threw me for a loop. But I realized that it was the same IP addresses every single time, so yeah. I know. I mean, I get hate from complete strangers too, but these people are a bit more persistent .” The last word was spoken through her teeth. She looked upset, but she also looked like she wanted to hide it. Azriel decided to switch his camera back to his face so she wouldn’t feel as vulnerable. And so he wouldn’t feel like a creep for staring at her.

Elain looked a bit startled. “Oh, hi again,” she smiled, but it wasn’t as genuine anymore.

“Do you know these people?” Azriel asked through gritted teeth. He didn’t know why, but he felt very protective all of a sudden.

“Yes, I do. At least the three people that commented yesterday…” she bit her lip again, probably contemplating if she should tell him more. “It’s my ex.”

Azriel tried his hardest to not look surprised and pissed off at the same time. “All three of them?”

With a surprised look on her face, she shook her head quickly. “Oh, god no. No. Just one. His name is Graysen.”

MortalGraysen. Azriel remembered the username because it had sounded so stupid.

“And the other two?”

She let out a long breath. “His stupid best friends, Amarantha and Hybern. Stupid names, right?”

Azriel could only agree. “Very. Why is he bothering you like this, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Elain took off her glasses and massaged her temple lightly. “I dumped him after he slept with Amarantha and then…” she chewed the inside of her cheek. “Then he told all of our friends that he only slept with her because I was so boring in…'' her cheeks flushed again and she didn’t finish that sentence. She didn’t have to. Azriel understood perfectly.

“Okay, so he really is an asshole then.”

“The biggest.”

“Well, I don’t think you can block IP addresses on Youtube, but you could always try to block their names. It might work for a while at least?” Azriel suggested. He needed to help her.

“That’s smart!” she exclaimed and sat her phone down to type. He was very happy that she had leaned it against something so he could still see her.

“What other words should I add?”

Azriel thought back to the comments he had seen. Boobs, nudes, cock, jerk off and tits were all words that she should block, but they were also words he didn’t feel like saying in front of her.

“Just check their old comments and block the words they have used.”

“I’ve deleted the comments, but I remember a few words.” She typed again and Azriel could tell that she was uncomfortable.

“Hey, just block all sexual words and maybe swear words? That should probably work for a while?”

“Okay.” She typed again while Azriel waited patiently. Honestly, he would probably wait forever if it meant that he could watch her on his screen like this.

He felt like a teenager with a crush on the coolest girl in school. He knew that she was out of his league, but his body had not gotten the memo…

“I think I’m done,” she announced and smiled at her phone. At him.

Azriel smiled back. “Which words did you write?” he asked out of curiosity.

Elain picked up her phone and switched the camera so he could see her computer. In the box for ‘blocked words’ she had indeed written a few words.

Blocked words Graysen, Hybern, Amarantha, Boring, Dumb, Stupid, Weird, Ugly, Penis, Vagina, Sex, Sexy, Breasts, Feet, Ejaculation, Nipple, Damn, Fuck, Darn it, Hell,

“Do you think that’s enough?” She asked him in a low voice as if she was ashamed of what she was showing him.

Azriel had to bite his lip in order to keep himself from grinning. It was kind of sweet that she had written down the more technical terms, and not any words that would actually be used on the internet.

“Well, I think it’s a good start,” Azriel answered. “But I think there are a few more words that you should add. And maybe some you can remove from the list.”

“Which ones can I remove?” She leaned closer to her computer, probably trying to find the redundant words.

“I don’t think that trolls will use Darn it, for example.”

Elain pressed the backspace key a few times.

“And which words should I add?” she asked the screen. Her glasses had slid down her nose a bit and Azriel had an urge to reach through the screen and push them back into place.

Azriel scratched his chin, thinking about the best way to phrase it. “Maybe a few synonyms for the words you have written down?”

“Such as?”

Azriel held his breath. “Well…” Azriel hesitated. Was she serious or was she just trying to get him to say dirty words? “I don’t think that internet trolls will use the word vagina.”

“Oh,” her ears turned a lovely pink color. “So I should just add synonyms for that word then?”

“Sure.”

Elain looked lost in thought for a moment before typing again, this time a bit more aggressively. “There are quite a lot,” she muttered.

“Really?” Azriel could only think of two; pussy and cunt.

“Yes. I googled it.”

Of course, she googled a list of synonyms for vagina. Azriel couldn’t hold back his grin this time. She gave him a look he couldn’t decipher. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, nothing,” he said, still grinning. “Can you read me this list of synonyms?” he teased, thinking that she would tell him to fuck off.

He was wrong.

“Well, there’s pussy, cunt, vajayjay, punani, ho-ha, flower…” she drifted off and Azriel could tell the exact moment it hit her that she was reading these words to a man she didn’t know. “Oh, god,” she groaned and hid her face in her hand. “Please ignore everything that just happened.”

Azriel chuckled. “I rather not. What’s the weirdest word on the list?”

He was invested now.

Elain looked at him through the screen again, but this time he could tell that she was suppressing a smile. “The weirdest one must be fish taco, or bald man in a boat. One just sounds disgusting, and the other one is just… weird? Like, I don’t get it.”

“I think that the ‘bald man’ is supposed to be the...uh,” Azriel could not finish that sentence. He knew that he was blushing now, too.

“Oh,” she said looking surprised, and then disgusted. “Oh, that just makes it worse.”

The laugh that followed was contagious.

As she laughed, Azriel thought back to the day before. To when he had watched her video to fall asleep. In her videos, she was so calm and collected - the complete opposite from this bubbly, laughing person on his screen. Both sides of her were equally fascinating to Azriel and he wished that he could get to know her better. She was so easy to talk to. Azriel never found anyone easy to talk to. At parties, you could find him in the corner with a drink and a good book. He was not a talkative man. But with Elain, he wanted to talk. And he wanted to listen. He wanted her to tell him about her day and her life, which was absurd. They had been talking for like 30 minutes. They didn’t know each other. They would never get to know each other.

“Thank you for helping me with this, Azriel,” Elain said when the laughter had died down. “I really appreciate it. I’m sorry for being a bit weird and reading you that list. I hope that I didn’t cross a line or…”

Azriel held up a hand to show her that he didn’t mind. “It’s no problem, honestly. I can’t remember the last time I laughed this much.”

Elain shifted in her seat and picked up her phone again, moving it closer to her face again. “Just like you couldn’t remember the last time you had slept well?”

For a second, Azriel was truly afraid that she was a mind reader because that meant that she had heard him think that he wanted to kiss all her freckles. And then, he remembered the comment he had left on her video a few days earlier.

“Yeah, just like that.”

She leaned her head to the side and regarded him through the phone. “Is that true? You can’t remember having a good night’s sleep?”

Azriel shook his head. “I have suffered from insomnia since I was a child. Sleep has never been a positive experience for me.”

He had never opened up like this to anyone. His former girlfriend never understood why he was awake and why he hated sleepovers. The insomnia had definitely destroyed a few relationships over the years. He could tell that Elain wanted to ask about it, but she didn’t. He really appreciated that.

“Well, I’m happy that I can help you with that anyway. It makes me feel less horrible for making you help me with this on a Saturday morning,” she said and gestured to her computer.

“You didn’t make me do anything. I offered. I was happy to help.”

She gave him the sweetest smile yet and Azriel was surprised when he didn’t melt into a puddle. “Well, thank you. Can I pay you for your trouble?”

Before she had even finished the sentence Azriel shook his head. “No, Elain. I really don’t want you to pay me.”

“Okay,” she bit one side of her lip again. Those damn lips. “Can I give you something else then?”

Did her tone sound flirty? Azriel didn’t know. He might just be hopeful because he started imagining all kinds of things she could give him.

“Like, maybe you could tell me your favorite trigger and I’ll make sure that my next video includes it?”

Azriel swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling very thick. “You don’t have to do that, I...”

“But I want to,” she interrupted. “What’s your favorite trigger?”

Azriel was trying to figure out a way to tell her that she was his favorite trigger without sounding like a serial killer. “Well, I don’t really know. I like when you whisper,” he tried, and when she smiled and nodded encouragingly, he continued. “Honestly Elain, I have tried to watch other ASMR videos but they don’t make me fall asleep. Your videos make me fall asleep within minutes. Whatever magic you put into your videos, that’s probably my trigger,” he half-joked.

“Hmm,” Elain regarded him. “I’ll figure something out.” She winked at him teasingly and Azriel hated that this was the first and last time he would ever get to talk to her.

“Well, I really have to go,” Elain declared. “I’m meeting a friend at the gym.”

“Yeah, I have to go too,” Azriel lied. He would have canceled any plan he ever had if he could continue this conversation.

“Well, thank you again for your help, Azriel.”

“Don’t mention it.”

She removed her glasses and looked straight into her camera. It felt as if she was staring into his soul.

“Goodbye, Shadowsinger.”

“Goodbye, Flower Girl.”

The call disconnected and he was left staring at his apps. Not a single one interested him.

With a heavy sigh, Azriel walked to his bed. He was planning to lay down and scream into a pillow when he received a text from a number he didn’t recognize.

New message I searched for a few more synonyms, and this one for penis is horrendous. Just listen to this: Meat banjo. Isn’t that just horrible? I’m definitely blocking that word.

Azriel couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up from his chest. It really was a horrendous synonym and he could imagine her sitting in front of her computer, making disgusted faces at the various words on her screen.

New message Oh, this is Elain, by the way.

And that’s when it hit him.

She had texted him and he could see her number. That meant that he could save her number on his phone. It also meant…

Well, he honestly didn’t know what it meant, but he didn’t feel like screaming into his pillow anymore.

#elriel #elriel fanfic #azriel x elain #azriel #acotar #acotar fanfiction #elain archeron #elain x azriel

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jeonggukkiepabo · 3 years

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CRYSTAL SNOW ❄ MYG

SUMMARY: Christmas has always been a stressful time for Yoongi: buying presents, decorating the tree, baking cookies, you name it-Yoongi does it. It wouldn't be so difficult if Yoongi had someone to help him, but all he has left in his life is his beautiful daughter Ara.But maybe this year, he won't be all alone.

GENRE: christmas fluff ❄ a bit of smut

WORD COUNT: 7,3k

WARNINGS: f l u f f, single parent yoongi, kindergarten teacher y/n, oral, satoori, domestic christmas vibes :(, mentions of death

AUTHOR’S NOTE: the secret collab is finally here! thanks @kimtaehyunq for letting me join💞 i’m so excited to read the other fics as well! & thank you Mags for doing this amazing banner I think this is the prettiest banner I've ever had. 🤧 Tysm love💞

MERRY CHRISTMAS

People usually say she looks a lot like her father, but all Yoongi sees in Ara is his wife. Wherever his daughter goes, his wife's ghost follows, the memory of his teenage love and the wonderful years they spent together until she left their lives.

Min Dasom died almost one year after Ara was born, her death coming too sudden for anyone to bid their last goodbyes-leaving her husband and baby heartbroken and alone.

It was awful, Yoongi won't be able to forget that one night the police called him, telling him that his precious wife drowned in the ocean during her monthly trip to the beach with her friends.

Ever since that call, Yoongi has never stepped near a beach again, never felt hot sand between his toes again, never went swimming again.

It was hard, being a single parent and Yoongi was tempted to give up many times, but seeing Ara grow and bloom into the beautiful girl she is now, Yoongi is beyond thankful that he survived the pain and sorrow.

He never drowned his thoughts in alcohol because his sunshine always looked at him with her sad little eyes, almost as if she knew what he wanted to do and hugged his legs tightly until Yoongi set the bottle away and picked Ara up and spent the night cuddling her.

Things got easier as soon as Ara was old enough to finally go to kindergarten, allowing Yoongi to work more hours and on a daily basis again. It's not like he needed a lot of money, it's just that Yoongi needs to work.

He's used to working all the time, he's always been-because working doesn't give him time to think about the tragedy that is his life.

Money wasn't an issue for the Min family, Yoongi used to be one of the most successful pianists and producers in South Korea, but he gave up on that as soon as Ara was born, just to have time for his family.

His friend Hyunjin offered him a job as a songwriter and composer at his own label JinHit Entertainment.

Yoongi could work from home whenever he wanted and needed to, but the studio Hyunjin set him up was way better and filled with new technology that Yoongi loved playing and experimenting with.

The acclimatization to her new daily routine wasn't easy for Ara because she wasn't used to having women in her life-until now, it has always been Yoongi and Ara. They ended up switching kindergarten two times before Ara came into the one that you've been working at for a while now-instantly falling in love with you.

The first few days with your new reference child we're quite… interesting because the little girl was full of action and so curious about every little thing in the room that you couldn't sit still and talk to her father for a while because Ara grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the next game she wanted to play.

Her father, Min Yoongi, sent you an apologetic smile as he watched you play with his daughter from a distance, giving you time to get used to each other and build a bond. You winked at him as you took a seat next to Ara and started to explain the rules of the board game to her-impressed about how well she was understanding them.

It didn't take Ara a long time to send Yoongi home, waving him goodbye and pressing a loud kiss onto his lips. "Go and work, Appa! Uncle Hyunjinnie waits for you to make good music!"

Yoongi looked at her with a pout, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're telling me to leave? Just to go and work? That is rude, princess."

You giggled and hugged Ara as she ran over to you, Yoongi long forgotten.

"Would you like to bring your dad to the door, Ara? I think he might be sad if you won't. Remember: he won’t see you for a few hours and you don’t want your dad to be sad during lunch, right?"

Ara giggled but nodded nonetheless and grabbed Yoongi by the hand. "Hurry!"

Yoongi looked at you in shock, desperately trying to hold in his laugh. "I think you gave me Ara's evil twin instead of my sweet little princess! Where is my nice girl that always kisses Appa goodbye?"

You shrugged your shoulders playfully as one of the other kids asked for you to help him with building a big tower out of building blocks. "Have a nice day, Mr Min. Oh and make sure you won't forget about our appointment on Thursday! I don't think it'll take longer than an hour, it's just to talk about Ara's development so far."

Yoongi was one of the few parents that were always punctual, not even a minute too late-and the only parent you've never felt any kind of rage towards. Not only that, but he attended every kindergarten fest, always prepared little cupcakes for Ara's birthday to bring with her to kindergarten and share with her friends.

May was rolling around quickly and you were as eager as always to craft some little gifts for the children to give their mothers.

You prepared some candle wax and melted it so the kids could fill it in plastic forms and add glitter and scent to their preference, just to have a nice little gift to give.

Most of the kids had fun, some of them were a bit grumpy because they got glitter all over themselves, but there is one little girl pouting and trying not to cry in front of them, not even touching the wax.

Ara.

It breaks your heart every time, knowing that Ara's mother died years ago and that she probably had no other woman in her life because you’ve already heard that her father works quite a lot.

Squatting down next to the little girl, you gently pinch her stomach just to hear her little giggles.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Don't you want to make a nice candle?"

Ara looks up at you, one single tear slipping out of her eye. "I don't have a mom, so no candle for me."

You coo, playing with Ara's hair as you stand up again, leading her towards the crafting table.

"That doesn't matter, Ara. I think your dad will be happy to get a candle too! We can pick a different color than pink, what do you think does he like the most? I’m sure we will find something!"

Ara taps her chin, smiling slightly as she thinks about Yoongi's favorite color. "Black! He wears black clothes! Always! Do we have black glitter, Y/N?"

She scrunches her nose at the first few oils, but one scent really lights up her face. "This smells like Appa! Can we use this?"

"We do, I didn't put it on the table because usually nobody wants it so it sits on the shelf, all by itself. I think the glitter finally deserves to be used!" You smile at the kid, grabbing the small container of glitter from the shelf and handing it over to Ara.

"We do have a few scents, would you like to smell them? Choose whichever you think smells the best and we can put a few drops in the wax,' you offer the bowl of different oils to Ara and help her open the lids.

Ara holds up the little bottle of rose oil and you smile to yourself. Black roses, that really seems to fit the impression you have of Mr. Min.

"Of course. Now, let's mix the glitter with the wax and we can put it into the mold. Alright, now stir it while i put in a few drops of the rose oil, okay?"

You guide her through the process, talking to her and listening to her rambling about the piano lessons Mr. Min gives her on a regular basis, just because Ara wants to be like her favorite man in the world.

"He is a great dad, Ara. You're so lucky to have him, I know that he must be sad sometimes too, but you're such a sunshine and help him as much as he helps you," you hug her from the side, enjoying the way Ara leans into the hug as well.

"I want a mom, but Appa is almost like a mom! He lets me paint his nails, goes to ballet with me and always bakes princess cookies for our tea parties!"

Ara giggles as she dips the wick into the liquid wax.

"Appa needs a woman to love, the only dates he goes to are work-dates with uncle Hyunjin," she says.

And yes, you think so as well.

One day around September, you decide that it’s definitely hot enough to prepare the blow-up outside pool for the kids, allowing them to change into their swimsuits and let them play around, even adding some bubbles to the water to let them experiment.

Mr. Min smiles at you, his gums fully showing and you can’t help but smile as well as you hear his words.

“And I think there’s no job that you could do better than this one.”

You’re sitting next to the pool on a bench in the shadow, reading some books to those few kids that don’t want to hop into the water as Ara jumps out of the pool.

“Y/N, come inside as well, it’s so nice!” She jumps up and down, her wet ponytail dripping onto her shoulders.

You pout, pointing to the kids next to you. “I can’t, you know that some of the kids are still afraid to go into the water with so many other children around. Maybe next time. Now, go and enjoy it, it’s super hot and I don’t know when autumn will come around and surprise us with bad weather!”

Ara nods quickly, hopping back into the water and continues splashing some water around with her friends, but she glances at you every few seconds. Then, she whispers with her two best friends before all three of them nod as they look at you.

Suddenly, they run towards you, surprising you with wet hugs and loud giggles, leaving your white summer dress almost see through.

Suddenly, there’s someone clearing his throat right behind you and you wish you could sink deep down into the pool once you see that it’s Mr. Min.

“Girls!,” you can’t help but yelp, the cold water causing you to jump up from the bench. Yet, you laugh with them, the cooling really helping you with the heat.

“You can’t just do that, Ara. Look at my dress now, you can almost see through it, you’re lucky that the parents won’t come in within the next two hours, otherwise they would see me like this,” you try to look stern, but to be honest: you would have done the same if you were Ara.

“Ara, why did you do that?,” he asks with his calm voice and tries his best not to look at your hardening nipples under the dress.

Ara’s bottom lip trembles as she looks at you with sad eyes. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just thought it would be funny…”

Mr. Min turns to you and bows slightly. “I’m sorry, she shouldn’t have done that. And well, I came to pick her up earlier because we will visit her grandparents over the weekend. I should’ve informed you earlier. Is there any way I can help you with your… erm, dress?”

Mr. Min nods at you, picking up his-still wet-daughter as he looks you up and down slow enough to leave goosebumps all over your skin once again.

You blush, shaking your head as you grab Ara’s clothes and hand her to her father.

“It’s alright, Mr. Min, it’s not your fault-and a water fight is too much fun to just not do it, right, Ara? It’s sunny enough so I’ll just bring the bench into the sun and I’ll be dry soon enough! I hope you’re having fun with your grandparents, Ara! Have a nice weekend, Mr. Min.”

“It’s alright, Mr. Min, really. You don’t know how many children happen to call one of us mom without realizing it. It’s nothing too wild, I’ve gotten used to it and I think especially in Ara’s case… It was supposed to happen, you know? I mean, I don’t want to intrude on your private life, but I suppose you’re not seeing another person and Ara isn’t growing up with other females, so she takes those she sees here as a female person to bond with, you know?”

“Thank you, mommy! Oh… I mean Y/N..,” Ara quirps as he turns around in her father’s arms, even though it doesn’t look like she’s really sorry at all.

“Ara!” Mr. Min gasps as he looks at his daughter.

Yoongi shakes his head. “I haven’t seen another woman ever since my wife died. Ara is the only woman in my life, the only one I give all my love to. She deserves it,” he sighs. “But you’re right, I think another female person would really help her with growing up. I just don’t want to introduce her to some random woman I might not even want to spend the rest of my life with. Is this egoistic?”

His honest words hit you, knowing how lonely he must be, all alone with his little girl and a bunch of work he has to do. “It’s not, Mr. Min. You don’t have to date just because you think it would be the best for Ara. There are many single fathers that raise their kids perfectly fine and I think you’re one of them! Ara never tells bad stories about you and I think you’re doing a really good job, spending all of your free time with her and allowing her to experience so many fun things. I’ve met so many ‘happy’ families that didn’t even manage to pack breakfast for their kids, so really, don’t break your head over something like this! I’m happy that Ara accepted me so much and that she always comes to me whenever she has a problem. This is why I chose my job.”

Over the next few months, Mr. Min is all that’s on your mind, even though you know how unprofessional it is, but he’s even kinder to you than he’s been before. You usually have a small chat with every parent whenever they bring or pick up their children, but Mr. Min makes sure to always catch you and ask you about your day, if there’s anything new in your life and you can’t help but ask him about his work and the songs he’s been working on as well.

“Ah, it’s really stressful right now. I’m working with this band that’s debuting soon and we have to prepare and finish the entire album I wrote about five songs for. They’re really good but still so young, I think the oldest is 16? Or was it 17? Whatever, that’s like ten years younger than me! I think I’ll grow grey hair soon when I keep on working with such young idols,” he sighs playfully as he helps Ara to put on her shoes and jacket.

“I mean, you’re not that old, Mr. Min. Don’t worry-as long as you keep that handful smile you will look like you’re straight out of some perfume poster. But I’d love to listen to one of your songs! I mean, if you’d let me,” you smile with honesty as you hand Ara her backpack.

Mr. Min shrugs, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he opens his Spotify account. He types something in and turns the screen towards you. AGUST D, it says. You scrunch your eyes at the name, trying to remember where you’ve known it from, but it doesn’t ring a bell right now.

“I’ll make sure to listen to some of your songs, I hope they aren’t too sad though, I prefer my music to be more… pop and rock?”

You cringe at your own words, hoping that the man knows what you were trying to say.

And fuck, you did like it. Turns out that AGUST D wasn’t some softie that plays guitar lullabies, no.

Yoongi cracks a grin, then winks at you playfull before he takes Ara’s hand after she said goodbye to you.

“I think you’re going to like it.”

AGUST D seems to be one of the best rappers in the music industry that you’ve ever been listening to. He sounds so aggressive and fast that you needed to listen twice to some of his songs to understand what he was saying, but you ended up adding much more songs into your playlist than you’d like to tell him.

But you did tell him.

“Oh, I’m not doing that crazy rap thing anymore. It was a phase, I guess. By now, I use the name to help smaller musicians and trainees, produce their songs and write their lyrics. It’s better to do so with a bigger name, but AGUST D died a long time ago, I guess I killed him.” Mr. Min says the next day.

"I mean, as long as you keep all of them on Spotify, I'm alright with that. Most of those songs match my aggressive driving vibe and I can't imagine driving to work without it." You try to joke before you realize what it must've sounded like. "Oh lord, I didn't mean it like that!"

You blush, trying to hide your reddened cheeks in your palms, but Mr. Min just laughs it off.

"Don't worry, I get what you mean. I usually play Love Talk as soon as i leave this building."

He even has the audacity to wink at you before he leaves with a grin, causing Ara to coo.

"Appa really likes you if he teases you!"

And the teasing goes on and on, there’s almost no day without a snarky comment from Mr. Min or a sarcastic comment from you-but neither of you takes those words to heart because that’s what you need in your lives, someone to laugh with, someone to make jokes with.

Even though there are plenty of other children in your group and so many parents you talk to daily, the only one you’re happy to see in the afternoon is Mr. Min.

The summer is long gone and fall said goodbye a few weeks ago, December came around and your little crush on Mr. Min isn’t as little anymore-and you can’t help yourself but wonder if he might be into you as well. You’ve shared a few noons talking about Ara’s development and if she’s ready for school next September, but most of the times you didn’t talk about the girl for more than thirty minutes before one of you switched the topic to something more private as the man leans closer to you and locks his gaze with yours.

You’re not as nervous around him as you were before and you can feel him starting to open up towards you as well. Yet, you’ve never met outside of the kindergarten, knowing it would be way too unprofessional and you’d never want to ruin the wonderful bond you share with Ara just because you’re desperate to jump into her father’s lap and call him Daddy too.

You’re not one of those women to go into a club and have a dirty one night stand with a random stranger, but you’ve been too busy to actually go and meet people, so you’ve kind of gotten used to being alone, even though you’re really missing late night cuddles and Disney marathons.

It’s Saturday afternoon and you’ve been strolling through the mall for a while now, looking for some christmas presents for your friends and family-but also wanting to treat yourself because work has been more than just exhausting lately.

You’ve been handling the entire group alone, having a lot more smaller children because new kids have been coming to kindergarten and having to deal with so many parents alone can be pure hell. Sadly enough you’re living all by yourself, only having a few close friends that don’t understand why you’re even doing this underpaid job and your last relationship crashed almost two years ago.

The mall looks amazing, beautiful christmas ornaments are hanging from the ceiling and there must be someone playing the piano somewhere because the soft melodic tunes fill the entire mall, reminding you of Mr. Min once again.

You just stepped out of a lingerie store, something you’re really passionate about even though nobody but yourself sees you in it, but you love the feeling of lace on your skin, love how beautifully the soft colors compliment your skin and love imagining Mr. Min ripping the soft material off you.

The small paper bag in your hand, you look around for another shop that might hold the next christmas present for one of your friends.

“Appa, please! I already have a picture but we need you to have one too!”

You know that voice too well to ignore it, searching the area for the small owner of it, giggling as you found her. Ara and Mr. Min are in the Santa area of the mall that gives you the ability to sit on Santa’s lap and take a picture with him as you tell him your biggest christmas wishes.

But the little girl is not sitting on Santa’s lap, she’s trying to push her father towards the man with the fake beard, clearly wanting him to sit down on that lap.

You giggle, walking towards them just to find out what’s going to happen.

“Ara, I’m too old and heavy for poor Santa, I think he prefers girls your age-wait, no not like that. I think he likes boys and girls-ugh. You’re driving me crazy, princess. Look, there’s a few other kids wanting to have their time with Santa as well, why don’t we just leave and try to find some more presents from the giftshop here, hm?” The man tries to talk his daughter into leaving the uncomfortable situation, but Ara is as stubborn as ever-she always gets what she wants, especially from her father.

“But… I want you to have pictures with Santa too!” She pouts, looking over at the confused Santa before she hears your giggle. “Y/N!”

Mr. Min turns around, a shocked expression on his face and a soft pink tint on his cheeks.

“Oh, Ms. Y/L/N. What a surprise.”

You giggle even more, stepping closer towards them. “Hello Ara, good afternoon Mr. Min,” you bow slightly before accepting the little girl’s hug.

“I see, you really want to sit on Santa’s lap, but Ara doesn’t want to let you because she’d be embarrassed.”

Yoongi hums in agreement. “Horrible, those children. I mean, I just want a nice christmas picture with Santa, but you know how they are… right before puberty hits them.”

“Y/N, Appa doesn’t want to take a picture with Santa, would you sit on his lap and take a picture for me?” Ara looks up at you with her big eyes and like always, you can’t say no. Instead, you hand Mr. Min your bags-not thinking about the fact that one of them is from the lingerie store-before taking Ara’s hand and walking over to the smiling Santa.

The picture is quickly taken and not even five minutes later, Mr. Min hands you your bags, whispering, so Ara wouldn’t hear you. “I think the peach one will suit you the best.”

Ara nods and rips the bags out of Mr. Min’s hands to show you her cute dresses and bows while the man just stares at you with an open mouth. Did you really just say that to him?

You gasp, hiding the bags behind your back but who are you to deny the fact that this man is the exact reason you stepped into the store?

“Thank you, I hope someone will get to see them before Christmas. It would be a shame to waste those pretty pieces for some lame mirror selfies,” you smile innocently before squatting down next to Ara. “Did you buy something nice yet?”

“Appa, we wanted to get hot chocolate, can Y/N come too please?”

Yoongi is speechless once more as he quietly follows his daughter and her kindergarten teacher towards the mall’s cafe-realizing that he shouldn’t have chosen his tightest pair of skinny jeans because somehow, they got quite uncomfortable as soon as you arrived.

Yoongi raises an eyebrow at his daughter before he picks up all the dresses that Ara tried to shove back into the bags. “If she wants, she’s welcome to join, but I think you should ask her first, maybe she is busy.”

You blush at the invitation, not sure whether to accept it or not-but you’re not one to decline on hot chocolate. Smiling at Ara, you nod. “Show me where to get the best hot chocolate, I’m craving something sweet and thick down my throat.”

He watches you as Ara grabs your hand and swings them around with a soft giggle, heart warming as he sees your fond smile.

Ara talks about you a lot-hell, Yoongi asks about you a lot whenever Ara doesn't want to talk about you but watch her favorite show.

It's unprofessional and probably not allowed, Yoongi knows, but Ara leaves for school in March anyways, so who cares?

It's obvious to the both of you that you're interested in each other, the flirting and teasing coming to a point where Yoongi can't wait for another snarky remark of yours.

And now that he has the chance to sit and talk with you outside of your workplace, you just chose to buy a bag full of fucking beautiful lingerie (yes, Yoongi looked inside, no, he doesn't regret it).

Ara leads you into this beautiful cat cafe that apparently has "The best hot chocolate and bubble tea, but it's too cold for bubble tea… Can they make hot bubble tea?" as Ara says, earning a harsh "no" from Yoongi, because that's something he wishes for as well.

"Go find a place with Mr. Y/L/N, Ara. I'll get your order, yeah? What can I order for you?" Yoongi looks at you as he pulls out his wallet, giving you some time to read the menu.

"Oh, the candy cane hot chocolate, please! And please, as long as we are not talking inside the kindergarten, call me Y/N. I mean, you've seen my underwear, I think you deserve to call me by my name."

Yoongi blushes, nodding and rushes towards the cashier to order your drinks. You smile at the man, then at the cats-they look somewhat similar-before you sit down next to Ara who is currently petting four cats on her lap.

"They're adorable," you coo, "Do you have any pets?"

Ara nods with a big smile and hands you one of the cats, a pretty one with orange fur and big eyes.

"I have a turtle! Gukkie gave it to me and Appa didn't like it first, but I love her!"

You enjoy the cat's purring as you gently stroke her chin. "A turtle sounds lovely, I hope you can show it to me one day."

"Oh, that won't be a problem, I can invite you for dinner and Appa will get shy and red in the face, but he wouldn't say no because he's super soft for-" "ALPACAS! I'm soft for alpacas, haha, here we go, three hot chocolates."

Yoongi appears with a pained expression as he places your hot chocolate right in front of you.

"Thanks, Yoongi," you smile at the man and Yoongi swears that his heart stopped beating for a second. "I'm soft for Alpacas as well."

Right after you all finished your drinks, Ara decides that it’s time to walk through the mall once more, just to make sure that Santa is still there and will take another picture with hot chocolate-filled Ara.

“Did you enjoy your date with Y/N, Appa?” She looks up at her father as you walk towards the mall. Yoongi trembles, blushing brightly. “I’m pretty sure this wasn’t a date, Ara. Don’t assume things like this, it’s rude,” he mumbles as he gently pets her head to make sure she isn’t hurt by his comment.

You giggle, whispering loud enough for Yoongi to hear. “I really liked it, Ara. Your Appa can be funny if he wants to.”

The picture with Santa comes out pretty, even though the man groaned as two grown adults decided to sit on each of his legs, the bright smiling Ara kneeling in front of them. But it’s really worth it, because Yoongi’s smile never leaves his lips this evening, gums showing beautifully on the picture and you quickly make sure to get a copy of that picture as well.

Yoongi’s eyes widen. “So was this a… you know?” It’s endearing, how shy he suddenly seems to be. You’ve never seen him like this. Stressed, overworked and happy - yes. Shy and blushing? Never.

You nod with a soft smile as you lay your hand on his shoulder.

“Yes, I’d like that to be a ‘you know what’, Yoongi.”

You can't even tell when the two of you officially started dating, but you'll never forget the first kiss you've shared during one of your walks-thanks to Ara for snapping a picture of it. Yoongi's hands wrapped around your waist, eyes clenched shut and lips curled in a soft smile as fresh snow fell down on you.

Seeing Yoongi at work wasn’t as weird as you had expected it to be, it’s quite the opposite. He’s attentive and lovely, bringing you fresh croissants or donuts every morning or puting little chocolate for you and Ara in his daughter’s lunchbox.

He’s caring, picking you up after your shift to invite you to dinners and walks through the forest with Ara, because that little girl just loves walking in the fresh snow that has started to fall recently. She takes pictures of your footprints with Yoongi’s phone and makes him promise to print it for her to hang up.

“Of course I can, Ara. You’re already wearing your sleeping clothes and you’ve brushed your teeth with Appa, so hurry up and pick out the book you want me to read!”

Ara grows closer and closer to you, until that one day where you stay over the Min’s house for dinner, she asks you to bring her to bed.

“Can she, Appa? I want her to read my favorite bedtime story to me! Please, Y/N,” Ara looks up at you with a pout, her beautiful eyes-that remind you of Yoongi-sparkling with admiration.

That girl really makes your heart melt, combined with the soft smile that Yoongi gives you. And suddenly, you feel like you’re meant to be here, helping that man that you’ve grown so close to, helping the girl that lost her mother way too early and maybe even helping yourself with accepting that love really comes unexpectedly.

You gently tuck the soft blanket over Ara and place her favorite stuffie next to her as you smile at the girl fondly. "Sleep well, Ara," you whisper quietly, trying not to wake her up.

"Kissies, please," she mumbles sleepily and makes grabby hands towards you.

"Ara, I-" "Please," she whines and opens her eyes, tears starting to build up.

"Okay, it's okay, Ara." You swipe her hair out of her face before you plant a soft little kiss onto the girl's forehead. "Good night, sweetheart."

"Good night, Y/N. Will you be there tomorrow morning?"

Your smile fades, unsure if you really want to tell the little girl the truth.

"Probably not, I have to get ready for work. You know that I love to wear dresses on Thursdays and I didn't bring mine. But we will see each other in the kindergarten!"

"Okay," she whispers before she falls back into a quiet slumber.

Yoongi has cleaned the kitchen in the meantime and poured more wine for the both of you to enjoy in front of the fireplace.

"She really adores you," he says as you sit down next to him, sipping the rosé Yoongi bought just for you.

"And I adore her. She's an angel. Thank you for allowing me to spend so much time with her, Yoon."

Yoongi blushes again, shaking his head. The greyish blonde hair got messier as the evening passed. "No, Y/N. You're the first mother-figure Ara has, I have to thank you in both mine and Ara's name. I know that dating a single father is a lot, but you're accepting my family so well… I never thought I'd find another woman in my life again. Ever since my wife died, it was hard for me to even look at other women, let alone build up something like a relationship with them because I always felt bad. But that's what she would have wanted for me. To love again, to not waste my last handsome days," his lips curl into a smirk before he shakes again.

Then, his sharp eyes met yours and soften within seconds.

"I… I don't know if it's the right time, we've known each other for two years, we've been officially dating for only three weeks, but I think I won't change my mind about it-no I know that I won't change my mind. I love you, Y/N. And I know that Ara loves you too."

You gasp, lips beginning to tremble once your eyes meet Yoongi's. "Yoongi…," you whisper before you place your glass on the table and basically jump onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"I wanted to be the one to tell you first. I love you so much, Yoongi. I've had this stupid crush on you ever since you saw me in that wet dress, ever since you've shown me your music. Ever since I've seen you being the wonderful father you are-and that's so sexy, you can't even imagine."

Yoongi smirks as his hands find their place on the curve of your ass. "Sexy, huh? Me, doing the laundry and cooking dinner? Or me walking Ara to kindergarten with the homemade lunch boxes? That turns you on?"

You laugh, hiding your face in his neck as you lean closer to press your lips against his ear.

"All of that-and the way that you love Ara with all your heart, that's maybe the sexiest thing about you."

The man groans as he grabs you even tighter. "I never thought that sweet talk would turn me on even more than dirty talk," he laughs shakily as he wiggles his hips slightly to get into a more comfortable position that won't suffocate his hardening erection.

You sigh, sit up and run your hands through his hair. "Isn't all of this too early? I always tell myself that I shouldn't fall so fast, but here I am, ready to go every step with you."

Yoongi nods before he presses a peck on your nose. "Same, but we have all the time on earth. Ara wants us to get married by tomorrow, but I'm sure she'll survive it if we decide to postpone it for a few weeks."

You giggle as you look over your shoulder to the fireplace. "Did someone ever suck you off in front of a fireplace? Isn't this the definition of Christmas?"

The man underneath you gasps in shock. "No, but… I mean, I… You don't… have to?"

Laughing, you slide out of his lap and onto the floor, thankful for the soft carpet. "I want to, bubs. I wouldn't do something either of us isn't comfortable with. I assume you're alright with it?"

"Of course, but… I guess nobody ever did it because they wanted to, but because they feel like they had to?"

You raise an eyebrow at him, obviously disappointed in his previous partners.

"It's as much fun and pleasure for me as it is for you, believe me, Yoon. Now lay back and enjoy, yeah?" You give him a calming smile as you open his pants carefully, then sliding them down his toned legs.

You press kisses all around his thighs to warm him up to the feeling, knowing that it has to be overwhelming to have some that close after all that time. Then, you gently remove his boxer shorts as well, leaving him bare and proud in front of you.

You groan as you start to stroke his cock, earning a low growl from Yoongi. "So beautiful," you whisper, then you take him into your mouth, getting a feeling for the weight on your tongue before you start bopping your head.

Yoongi tries to contain himself, knowing that Ara could wake up every second, but alone the sight in front of him could make him come with a scream.

Instead, he cups your cheek, feeling the bulge that he causes there. Another groan leaves his lips.

You look up at him, smirking-or trying to, with a mouth full of cock-and leading his hand into your hair, using it to push you down even more.

Yoongi's eyes lighten up. "Really?"

You almost laugh out, but you're doing your best to contain yourself and nod, placing your hands on his thighs to stop whenever you can't take it anymore. Yoongi is long and thicker than the average you've had before, but it's a challenge that's worth it.

He pushes you down slowly, enjoying the hot warmth of your mouth and then your throat as he pushes in-surprised that you didn't really gag around him.

Spit trickles down your chin as he moves faster, thrusting his hips to meet the movements of his hand and enjoying the gurgling sounds you make.

He comes far to quick for his own liking, shooting his load down your throat with a quiet groan. "Fuck."

You giggle as you swallow what he gives you, standing up to sit back on his lap to kiss him.

"You're welcome."

Then, before you can grab your wine again, he flips you around and goes on his knees in front of you. "My turn," he smirks, eyes shining dangerously behind his fringe.

"Yoongi, I-," you try to say, but he shushes you with a sloppy kiss.

"I know that I have to, but believe me: I love giving pleasure more than receiving it."

You pout, hands running through his soft hair.

"I didn't shave…," you whisper, a bit ashamed because you didn't come prepared, not thinking that this would be happening today.

The man in front of you raises an eyebrow.

"Do you think I am a 15 year old, pre puberty fuckboy that cares about shaved pussies? It's natural, love. Even if you can't believe it: I grow hair too, nobody is freshly shaved every day. I don't mind that, okay? Now, stop pouting and let me do my work, will you? Can you be a good girl and do that for me? All you've got to do is lean back, open your legs, throw them around my shoulders and let me devour you."

His shameless words turn you on, you can't even deny it-especially not when your panties are that damp. So, you naturally obey and help him to remove your pants.

"I told you, peach is your color," Yoongi groans in his deep Satoori as he looks at your clothed core. The peach colored lace has darkened from your arousal and the man can't help it but press his face against the material, licking one bold stripe over it.

Nobody has ever done that to you, rather pulled them off in a hurry because they thought that body fluids were disgusting, but Yoongi didn't seem to mind as he gently bites your folds through the lace.

"God," you moan in pleasure as Yoongi finally pulls your panties to the side and spits onto your pussy, making it even wetter.

You're a whimpering mess as soon as Yoongi's tongue is on you, flicking and playing with your clit, collecting your juices and spreading them all over your pussy. You've read about that before; men eating pussy like they're starving, but Yoongi is somewhat different.

He eats pussy like he wants you to always remind it, to make you obedient and never being able to enjoy anyone else doing that job.

He does it well-of course. His tongue is as fast as he's been spitting rhymes on his mixtape, and you're more than thankful for that.

He doesn't even get to use his fingers before your orgasm approaches you, strong waves of pleasure hitting you as Yoongi keeps on kissing and slowly licking you through your high.

Then, he grins at you. "Round two, here we go."

And this time, it's not only his tongue working wonders, but also his fingers stroking you on the inside until they found your spot.

You press your hands on your mouth to keep yourself from screaming out loud, hips bucking wildly as you come for a second time within less than ten minutes. And again, Yoongi guides you through it and softly caresses your stomach.

"Fuck, I love you," you pant as he comes back up and steals a kiss from you.

"I can't wait to have you in my bed properly," he whispers and takes a large sip from his wine.

You can only agree.

You've started to spend the nights at Yoongi's more often, bringing Ara to work with you and helping Yoongi with her and the household whenever you can. Your relationship blooms beautifully and Ara is the happiest little bean when you're around.

Obviously, you spent Christmas with Yoongi and Ara as well, buying little presents and enjoying the comfortable atmosphere with the family.

Yoongi gave you a spare key to his house, so you're always able to visit them, spending the nights there and soon enough, you moved in.

❄❄❄❄

The Christmas after that, you surprised Ara with the adoption papers, telling her that now that she's in school and not one of your kindergarten kids anymore, she'll be able to finally call you Mommy (not that Ara minded before, you just felt weird and guilty about it).

And here you are now, preparing the huge breakfast for your third Christmas around, smiling at the ring that adorns your finger.

"Smells fabulous, Mama," Ara says as she runs towards you and falls into your arms.

"Do you want me to help you with dessert, Mrs Min?" Yoongi asks as he presses a kiss onto your cheeks. You lean into his touch, shaking your head. "It's almost done. You can go into the living room, I'll be there in a minute to open our presents, bubs."

Yoongi prepares the fireplace, lightens some candles with Ara and lets his daughter hand out the presents.

"I have one more for you, Yoon," you whisper as you hand him a small box.

"Oh? Can I open this first?" He tilts his head curiously, shaking the light box.

"Open!" Ara squeaks and sits down between her father and you. You nod with a fond smile as Yoongi lifts the top. Then, silence.

"Really?" He whispers with teary eyes.

"Yes, finally," you smile, "Ara, you'll become a big sister!"

Yoongi sniffs, hugging his family tight.

"And she'll be the best sister in the world. Merry Christmas, loves."

#bts #bts fic #min yoongi x reader #single dad yoongi #ksmutclub #bangtansmutcentral #bangtanarmynet #suganetwork #yoongi fic #yoongi fanfiction #min yoongi #yoongi smut #magicshopnet #bts smut #bts fluff #christmas fic #bts christmas #christmas collab

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ravysu · 3 years

Text

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

#sannin week 2021 #orochimaru #tsunade #jiraiya #sannin #naruto #naruto headcanons

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issaxcharlie · 3 years

Text

Owen hosts Couple tag

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Artist Fem Reader

Summary: We play pretend world guys✨ (I missed them, I’m SoRryyyy.) So, Charlie wants some reassurance after starting to prepare his proposal to Y/N and makes this “genius” plan with Owen to find her answers without being suspicious. (She totally knows tho) also a lot of friendship fighting between Owen and Y/N because I had to, I made myself laugh a lot so I’ll hope at least makes you smile🤧🤣Anyways, have fun!

This is also my weird and nonsense way of doing sweet @marvel-ousnesss request of the we play pretend couple to do a couple buzzfeed quiz 💖

The blonde takes a deep breath before picking up his phone and heading to the living room, where his couple of friends and roommates are on the couch. Charlie is lying down watching television and Y/N is lying on top of him with her face snuggled into his neck, he hugging her around the waist while gently running his fingers down her skin.

The plan was simple, to help Charlie plan the perfect proposal and give him an idea of what she expects from her wedding, they were doing a “Couple tag” video. That way the questions wouldn’t be as suspicious. Of course, there are easier ways but we are talking about Charlie. They convinced Kenny to call her and tell her that it was to promote the second season that is currently being filmed, and she agreed.

Charlie mentioned many times that someone else had to ask her the questions because she reads her boyfriend like an open book, so his improvisation had to be perfect to keep his best friend’s clever girlfriend out of the hook.

He decided to start the live from his room so as not to give the singer the opportunity to think much about it, so he sits in the living room and focuses the image on his friends who are not affected in the least by their positions. After all, everyone already knows that they are a couple and that they live together.

“Hello, I’m Y/N Y/L! And yes, that sexy, beautiful, adorable and talented man is my boyfriend, Charlie Gillespie.” He blushes as the memory of their first night back as a couple invades the mind of the Canadian, who had his girlfriend in exactly this position when she was, as she said, 'practicing' her introduction. Sadly, this time it will not end like that night because his best friend and about 500,000 people are watching.

“Welcome to my first edition of the Couple tag everyone! Here's my first guest couple, I know it’s not much, but I promise to find someone worthwhile next time, this is just for practice." Charlie laughs but looks nervous. Instead, his girlfriend sits down and rolls her eyes.

"I can't believe you chose him over a puppy or a hamster." The girl says to her boyfriend while laughing at her friend's offended reaction.

“I'm going to write that down in my long enemies list, but for now I have a live to lead. Okay guys, so basically I will ask them questions and I will also choose who answers them because I’m the only one hot enough to call the shots here."

She laughs and sticks out her tongue. Charlie sits down too and she takes his hand to fiddle with it. She keeps arguing for a few minutes with Owen but shows no signs of not wanting to play the game so he starts before she regrets it.

“Okay, first one is for Charlie. How did you guys met? This is actually a good one because a lot of the fans think you met on set and are like this really intense couple who started to date the very first week without even knowing each other’s last names.”

They both start laughing at the comment. The truth is that they have seen multiple posts and comments online from people judging their relationship and how fast they were going, especially when they did that last interview together and Y/N said that Charlie was taking his sweet time to ask for marriage, since for the fans they only have one year and months of knowing each other.

“We have known each other since forever. Our moms were best friends and we were born only a few weeks apart so we've always been together. We grew up as best friends and were dating before Y/N moved to New York to play Daniela on Stardust." Charlie tries to shake off the memory of the last tearful kiss before Y/N got on the plane. Hopefully he’ll never have to part from her for so long again. Sometimes he can't even understand how he managed to get through those 5 years.

"So no, we don't know each other for just one year, but 22." She adds, kissing his nose.

"Y/N, honey. I didn't ask you, don't be rude and wait for your turn." Owen says teasingly, the girl laughs and throws a pillow at him.

“Okay, rude again. Y/N, What is the first thing that he ever gave you?”

“Oh my, this beautiful valentines card! We were like eight I think. The paper is red, and it is filled with gold and silver glitter stars. Inside is a big star that has written in the middle, “My bright star, happy valentine’s day. I love you. And a lot of doodles of my favorite things, like my guitar, a microphone, chocolate, and a little Charlie. Just adorable, I still have it and to date it is one of my favorite gifts.”

The emotion with which she responds makes Charlie's heart melt. That was the first time he called her bright star, and he kept saying it to her during every audition, every performance, every practice. The exact reason not even she knows, but maybe one of these days he'll tell her.

“Rude and a liar. The 22-year-old Charlie's handwriting is horrible, the 8-year-old Charlie handwriting could only be close to a squiggle, nothing more. Oh, and probably only you had the ability to read it. I very much doubt that was beautiful."

She opens her mouth in surprise and wrinkles her nose, feigning annoyance. “I liked you more when you had a crush on me. You were nicer.”

Owen's eyes widen and he turns to see Charlie looking for help but he just starts laughing. “Wh- What are you talking about, mean girl?”

“Oh c’mon, you totally did, Ohio.” She smiles at the camara while showing a superiority face.

“Really? I already told you a thousand times, I'm from Oklahoma. But hey, how funny, forget about Stardust and audition for Funny Girl!”

“Jokes on you, I would nail Fanny Brice.”

“Man, defend my honor!”

“Bro, I can’t. You totally did, I even got worried for a second there.” It is incredible to think about how their friendship has grown and matured over time. They went from Owen fangirling every time he saw her to being really good friends. All these fights are more of a show than anything else, the truth is that when nobody is recording they tend to be very cool around each other and the three of them have quite a pleasant dynamic now that they are living together for the show.

“I won, Idaho. Now, please continue.”

“Well, my friends embarrassed me on my own live. I can already imagine the headlines tomorrow. Anyways, Charlie, Would you let yourself in danger to save her?”

Charlie starts laughing as he drops his head on the girl's shoulder. "I think she's not going to let me lie, I always have and will continue to do so. For me it's always her safety first."

"Which has given me more than a scare but he's so freakin stubborn." She adds while looking stressed and Owen can't help but imagine all the situations Charlie must have put himself in before.

“I prefer you scared than in danger, beautiful.” He grins and kiss her lips, her facial expresions relaxing at his touch.

“Gross. Y/N, do you prefer a small wedding or a big wedding?” She can feel Charlie tense at the question, so she leans her body back to support it against him and give him a lowkey reassurance.

“I hadn't really thought about it, but I know that my almost mother-in-law has been planning it all her life so you should check with her.”

His mom. Y/N is right, as always. His mom is their biggest shipper and the wedding is probably something she’ll want to be an importart part of, maybe way more than with his brothers since she adores the girl as much as her own kids, and the fact that his girlfriend is even more aware of that fact than him makes him smile.

“Do you love it when someone refers you as ‘her boyfriend’?”

“Always. Especially if it's her. She has that little knack of saying it whenever she can and it’s the most adorable thing in the world.”

“Oh I thought she was just showing it off to me because she was intimidated by our chemistry. I don't feel so special anymore.” Charlie chuckles and sends a secret air kiss to his friend, who just smirks and fakes to blush.

“How would you handle it if you thought another man was hitting on her?” Owen asks the guitarist raising an eyebrow.

“She usually takes care of that situations, her method is to take me by the shirt and kiss me hard on the lips. I’m never going to complain about that.” Charlie says smirking and blushing.

“We are a celebrity couple, for better or for worse. I’m not having him in a fight when I can just kiss that beautiful lips and solve the problem.” Charlie smiles as he wraps his girlfriend in his arms, so she can't see his face with the next question.

“What do you dream of your marriage? Mmm, let’s go with Y/N.”

“Anything will be perfect if I spend it with the man of my life. My Char is my everything and my biggest dream is to live my whole life laughing by his side.” Owen pretends to vomit as Charlie fills her with kisses under the ear, clearly moved by her answer.

“Let’s get to someting less cheesy because I really can’t with you both anymore. Has anyone ever tried to break your relationship?”

Charlie rolls his eyes and thinks for a moment. “Yes. We were like seventeen, and this guy from hockey had this big crush on her, so he tried to flirt with her many times even though everyone knew she was my girlfriend, until one day that he made her too uncomfortable and things escalated between him and me. Luckily my brothers intervened before something else happened because he was much bigger than me. I would have totally lost.” He chuckles while his girlfriend turns to see his face and gives him another sweet kiss on the corner of his lips.

“Yes guys, they are this annoying all the time. How do I survive? A lot of yoga. Next question, If three guys are standing, and you have been blindfolded, then how would you recognize him? Guys we actually did this like three days ago on set.”

“It was awesome! We put my bandana on her eyes and since it had my smell she couldn't be guided by that to choose.” Charlie explains excited.

“We got the three of us, first Jeremy then Charlie and then me in front of her, then she began to lightly touch Jer's hand. Then she went to Charlie's, it didn't take her a minute to recognize him and she took him from the hair and draw him to her lips, it was actually a pretty smooth and risky move, I’ll give you a point for that, prodigy brat.”

“Char's body inadvertently reacts to mine. It was pretty easy to tell the difference, especially after touching Jeremy's hand.” She turns her head to give Charlie a soft kiss on the lips and then Owen starts laughing like crazy and telling her to come see a specific comment.

She gets up and goes to sit next to him, Owen changes the camera so that now they are the ones in the image and she begins to read aloud. “Charlie I could give you my... Oh my god!” Owen continues laughing, resting his head on his friend who simply watches the screen in shock.

“Thank god Charlie doesn’t know how to read.” Owen, who was just recovering from his giggling fit, laughs again as Charlie giggles and sticks his tongue out at his girlfriend.

"Who needs to read when you look this hot with sleeveless shirts." He jokes while winking at his partner, which seems to melt in front of the camera that is still pointing directly at her.

“The man has a point. Okay, Y/N move your ass back there I’m still in charge of this show. Would you prefer a silver or gold ring?”

She makes sure to move off the screen and sticks her middlefinger at Owen before heading back to her place with her boyfriend. “Good and really random question.” She smirks, not making contact with her boyfriend. “I don't have a preference, but I would love Char to design it. Obviously with the correct guidance, but yeah he choosing every detail and then explaining to me why he choose it would be the dream.”

Charlie smiles. He was already imagining something like this after so many years of gifting and has already been visiting the jewelry store several times to make sure he designed the perfect ring for his girl, a slight feeling of pride filling him.

“Which series does she thinks resembles your relationship?”

“She loves Boy Meets World and see a lot of us in Cory and Topanga. I can totally see it too, after all they too have known each other their whole lives and have a bond as strong as ours.”

“Well that explains why she’s always telling me ‘Life is though, get a helmet’ instead of actually help me.” She grins at the memory of Charlie’s last prank on Owen a couple of days ago, it was really good since she secretly helped him plan it.

“Man, It wasn’t personal. I do the same with Char. I’m not going to be known for being the one ruining prank war. Take it to the end of the road, if you need me to take you idiots out of jail I totally will... eventually.”

“My girl, everyone. Isn’t she awesome?” He watches her adoringly and she blushes in response, buring her head on his neck.

“She always has this enormous energy and personality but all it takes is for you to see her for her to melt, that’s... kind of cute actually. Okay next question Stardust, What about If Charlie tells you to marry him tomorrow?”

For the thousandth time that night Y/N can feel Charlie stressing out. The fact that he planned together with Owen and Kenny all of this just to make sure he was on the same page with her is the most adorable thing in the world.

“I’m pretty sure he knows I would always say yes. He could have gotten on a plane when we were 18 and told me ‘I don't want to be without you, let's get married.’ And I would have said yes. He’s my person, I have nothing to think about, I have always known it’s him."

Now it's Charlie's turn to melt, and Owen himself can't help but smile.

Charlie's confidence in what he has planned is higher than ever, and the day when he can finally make it official is near. He has been dreaming of this day with his Y/N for years and he will finally get it.

“Well guys, that was it, give it up to my favorite couple of dumbasses and please stop asking obvious questions. Will I be Y/N’s maid of honor? Of course I will. Oh, and tune in next week to see me becoming Kenny’s new favorite after I challenge Y/N in a dance duel with I got the music. Golden star is GOING DOWN."

Thank you for reading✨

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