#i still like it i guess

[sadowlswriting]

Shame suffocates me,

Pulls me into a tight hug,

Like a snake crushing its prey,

Immobilising.

It stains my cheeks red,

Bursts the water bubbles in my eyes,

While my heart makes a beat with my ribcage,

My heart the drum,

My ribcage the drumsticks.

Anxiety throws me up on center stage,

Bright lights blinding me,

Silhouettes of people's pointed fingers,

Laughter ringing in my ears.

I tremble, like I've never known the cold before,

Though I'm drenched in sweat.

Guilt dances in my stomach, in a dance battle against itself,

Keeps me up at night,

Whispering bedtimes stories, that will join me in my nightmares.

Forces me to hold up against the weight of it, like I'm atlas, condemned for eternity.

Depression yanks me up into the sky,

I feel better than I ever have before, like nothing can go wrong.

Only for it to drop me, and watch as I fall,

Screaming,

Crying,

Grapsing at the clouds.

It lands me in a deep hole, labelled with my name on the gravestone.

Cackles as I grip at bits of dry dirt, to climb my way out, only for it to crumble.

Yells, "You'll die down here. You're forever destined to run miles, in the same spot. Give up trying, it's useless. You're useless."

And lastly,

Acceptance, cleans the dirt from under my fingernails,

Uses a damp soapy cloth, and wipes down my face,

Combs, and untangles my matted hair,

Then silently, hugs me loosely as I succumb to exhaustion.

Like a mother, acceptance can not rid me of the problem, nor can it take me out the grave I lie in. Acceptance, is like taking out the freshly dried blanket out the dryer, and wrapping it around you on a winters morning, with fresh snow still on the ground, and the sun still yet to rise.

-Owl.

#wanted to try something different #but i feel like its similiar to my other ones #oh well #i still like it i guess #anyway #writing #poetry #poem #words #confessional poetry #depression poetry #metaphor #anxiety poetry #guilt poetry #shame poetry #acceptance poetry

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

#i think about this story sometimes like yeah I'm proud of them for that too actually. good job baby brothers #they're not babies anymore of course they're turning 20 next year which is crazy #but they're still the type of people who'd do something if they saw something of this sort happen for sure #respectful of women and everyone else too. they're good guys #I'm glad I ended up with them living in my house against my will for like 14 years #anyway i have no idea where i was for all this but my best guess is probably a friends house given the time period #i was always at my besties house lol #i hope she's doing well too actually. haven't spoken in forever... #bestie from greek elementary school... if you're out there... let's get muffins and fanta at the bakery across the street again someday 💜☮️

[catmask]

does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.

#also if it wasnt clear this isnt ‘its bad its lazy’ there is a level of like #completion consistancy i am thinking for with this #personally i really do not enjoy the like. vintage chic long red nails fur coats noir esque aesthetic HOWEVER 💥💥💥 #i can recognize that it is put together it is Intentional #i feel like a lot of people are going to say minimalism on this so LET ME SAY 🫰☝️ i recognize that minimalism is Considered an aesthetic #but i *PERSONALLY* do not consider it an aesthetic i consider it the void of one #it is a lapse in aesthetic or personality in the same way a silence in a song is still technically a ‘beat’ but no music is played #however the importance of Space or Breath in design is more akin to a purposeful silence in music #because that silence matters in the same way rhythm and breath in design do #so i guess minimalism is more comparable to like. white noise. the sound of a fan #very little effort and there is a comfort in it i suppose but its not. A Design. okay #TO ME 🤫 #if minimalism has one hater its me if minimalism has no haters im dead

[mroddmod]

everyone be quiet i'm manifesting

#the bad batch #tbb #star wars #star wars the bad batch #sw tbb #tbb omega #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb echo #tbb tech #tbb hunter #mods art #mods draws #my art #YAYYYYY ITS DONE #i've been tinkering w this for like a couple weeks now i think #just on and off #whenever i was nervous about their fates or just generally sad about them i would work on this #it was supposed to make me feel better but it would usually just make me more sad 😭😭 #but i still really like how it turned out!!! so that's cool #very self indulgent but!!! whatever #i think i'll add this to my inprnt soon too :) so keep a look out for that i guess lol #okay byeeeeee #ALSO THE NEW EP WAS SO GOOD #okay bye fr

[rongzhi]

Wuling vans

English added by me :)

#douyin #video #tiktok #i love brick contraptions #when our chrysler voyager was still alive i had no fear of the road <3 #now i'm like a shaking chiwawa every time i have to go somewhere but that's what driving a prius does to a mf i guess

[batshaped]

the continued adventures of an internet user who was frozen in 2004 and defrosted in 2021: some things are just the way you left them

previous 2004 internet user comics are here: one, two, three, four, five; or just in my 2004 tag

#2004 #art #comic #comics #internet #nostalgia #neopets #aisha #february 2024 art #2024 art #02132024 #did i... forget to upload this one on tumblr in february lol #too distracted by mewtwo's birthday i guess #i have been playing neopets since elementary school #we're talking barely sentient #and i still play every day #it's not really my intention to make a low effort Relatable Comic here #but to capture a specific feeling i have when i feed my neopets #pet sims are unlike anything else to me #they just have this feeling about them that is more intimate than other games even when it's basic text and images #i guess that's why my comic is like #Pet Sim But Sad #lmao

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[exeggcute]

btw did you guys see how the hannah arendt prize committee tried to revoke masha gessen's prize after gessen, a jewish journalist, wrote an essay about how zionists and zionist-sympathizing gentiles, particularly in germany, wield accusations of antisemitism to shut down anti-zionist jews... an essay in which they specifically quoted hannah arendt several times

#I think the committee relented and gave them the award after all but still... irony doesn't even seem like the right word for it... #the essay was good too but even when I was reading it was like masha baby you could've pushed the envelope a little farther. if you wanted. #and then the backlash happened and I was like jk I guess they pushed that fucking envelope alright!

[verflares]

meteorologists report sky just a little bluer today, and it's because skyloft residents link and zelda are in love :)

#zelink #link #zelda #skyward sword #loz #loz fanart #ss link #ss zelda #hi. we're still normal here #this is 'Officially' a practice doodle bcus i wanna do a bigger piece for them on valentines day #but i wanted to make it look nice too . for however much my brain would let me bcus i kept getting distracted while drawing #i dont think these two outpace botw/totk zelink for me but they Do come very close... they are like comfort food zink #same as spirit tracks i guess but ss is a fun game in comparison. im sorry. #anyways. gay people! #my art

[somerandomdudelmao]

I made some colored refs for my comic ~ And also some sketches because can you guess who is my favorite haha

#marble sky #marble sky comic #still have no idea how to tag this #art #looks at the comments under the first marble sky post #wow Tumblr d o e s like aliens more than twitter #ahaha #I had a great fight inside my brain and at the end decided to put this watermark on the ref #because all my character desighs and refs always end up on Pinterest. Imma need all Pinterestians to know who made those #👍 #marble sky refs #i guess #Marble sky ref

[just-your-average-tangerine]

The line between binary and nonbinary trans people is nowhere near as clean as some of yall think it is

#transgender #trans #nonbinary #like i guess i would be considered a 'binary' trans man #i wouldnt consider myself that for two reasons #first because the idea that gender is binary is bullshit to begin with so why would i identify within it #and second because i am a man only in that i am a gay man #i dont identify outside of manhood im terms of gender #but my gender is so linked to my sexuality that it cant be neatly tracked onto a binary view of 'man' #but because i am a man other consider me 'binary' regardless of how i feel about it #and yet will still refuse to use he/him pronouns in favor of exclusively using they/them #but thats a different discussion #op

[egophiliac]

What do you like about the Diasomnia boys if I may ask?

I always love hearing about the different reasons people enjoy characters.

I mean, c'mon. he has split custody over Sebek okay

also, Lilia in particular has maybe the best timeskip character development of all time

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 chapter 4 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 chapter 4 spoilers #stage in playful land #i hope this is legible whoops #anon i am sorry but you made the fatal mistake of asking me to talk about diasomnia #insert 'i just think they're neat' jpg #i do like the other characters a lot but they are definitely my favorites #they just hit a lot of my favorite things in characters i guess! #yes even you sebek even though you keep shrieking NINGEN at me #(it's okay he gets Character Development™ later) #and their dynamic! it's great! these guys frikking love each other SO much and they WILL have terrible terrible angst about it #ohoho delicious #give me all your emotional hangups baybeeeee #also somewhere in there i went from 'i like them all equally (but lilia is the most fun to draw)' #to 'lilia is absolutely my favorite (and still the most fun to draw) (EVEN MORE fun now thank you swishy ponytail!)' #(it was probably when his candy coating got a little scratched and whoops all the tragedy fell out) #(where's that 'get loved loser' post because i need to staple it to lilia's forehead) #i am extremely bad at putting things into words so please don't ask me to explain it any further #just know that the diafam is everything to me and if we don't get more episode 7 soon i'm going to crumble into dust and blow away #we'll be getting the crowleytimes on monday and maybe there will be. idk. some foreshadowing or something in his groovy #probably not but LOOK i'm desperate

[sysig]

Permission to headbutt: Granted (Patreon)

#My art #UT #Sans #Papyrus #Ft. something smol and I do on a regular basis ♪ #This could be Handplates or it could be classic Undertale I leave that up to you lol #I definitely picked up a lot of the style quirks lol - but there are some of the ones that I like myself! Like Papyrus' darkmode clothes lol #And Sans' shorts having the stripe in the front haha - little details ♫ #Realistically it probably is Handplates tho just based on where my head's at lol - I love the Handplates dynamic :D #Handplates #I talked myself into it! Pfft ♪ #I found myself relating a lot to Sans especially while rereading - I want nothing more in the world than for my siblings to be happy! <3 #So I gathered up a bunch of ideas of things especially me and smol do together and this was the most obviously cute one haha #Easiest to do! Tho I did still go a little extra on this lol #I'm trying to do more digital stuff ♪ It wasn't the best art day and I'm still a little nervous to jump right in :') #Not doing any sketches on paper beforehand feels weird but I guess it is thematic in a way lol #And I'm still pleased with how they turned out hehe #It really does feel nice to be drawing them again <3 #And doing silly sibling things! Hehe #I dunno how clear it is since it's so ingrained into how smol and I talk to each other lol family language! #One of us will literally just announce ''bonk'' and the other will prepare for/lean in for a headbutt haha #She is a tiny bit taller than me - it's not quite /this/ extreme but she does lean down for me! S'cute <3 #I like to think Papyrus would do the same hehe ♪ Let your lazy brother headbutt you! He can only reach so far! #On minimal effort anyhow hehe #It's just a fun way to be silly together ♫♪ #Also yes I did show this to her and she cosigned lol - ''Cute'' -smol

[kithj]

happy friday the 13th here are some spooky text-based games for halloween:

contrition - As a priest, it’s your job to listen to your parishioners’ darkest secrets and absolve their guilt. But when a sinister stranger comes to the confessional one Halloween night, you realize it’s your soul on the line.

familiar - You are a familiar. Your mistress has some requests for you. Help her complete her ritual, or pay the price of failure.

jagged bone - A branching choose-your-own-adventure horror game about transformation and perspective. 

the forest of candles (and the man with a lighter) - follows Maggie, a young woman with a fear of forest fires sparked by an old town folk tale. She's spent years trying to escape her hometown and the fear it inspires in her, only to be called back for the funeral of an old friend.

mary's hare - Mary's Hare is short interactive horror story about a woman and a rabbit, based on the story of Mary Toft.

only this - "And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming / And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor..."

what girls do in the dark - a slumber party text adventure.

god is in the radio - you are death, one of 22 members of the major arcana, a cult dedicated to some far-off god. the night is halloween, and you watch in scorn as the unknowing dance among devils and dress to indulge in sin. the high priestess receives a message from the all-mighty himself: the arcana must gather in an abandoned house and find his song on an old radio receiver.

anchorhead - Travel to the haunted coastal town of Anchorhead, Massachusetts and uncover the roots of a horrific conspiracy inspired by the works of H. P. Lovecraft. Search through musty archives and tomes of esoteric lore; dodge hostile townsfolk; combat a generation-spanning evil that threatens your family and the entire world. (illustrated version on itch.io)

my father's long, long legs - An interactive horror story about family, unease, and loss.

beneath floes - Qikiqtaaluk, 1962. The sun falls below the horizon and won't return for months. You wander the broken shoreline, wary of your mother's stories about the qalupalik. Fish woman, stealer of wayward children: she dwells beneath the ice.

the silence under your bed - An interactive horror collection about the strange, the spooky, and the macabre. 

bogeyman - You can go home when you learn to be good.

#god is in the radio and what girls do in the dark can be considered VNs i guess #i've played all of these except for anchorhead bc im bad at IF games like that lmfao #i played bogeyman a few days ago and im still thinking about it.... #sorry i just love making lists. i tried to go for a strictly halloween vibe #and keep them completely text based this time #games #interactive fiction

[colorful-horses]

instantly elevate your male character designs with these easy steps!

- give him long hair

#not art #you could have the most surface level character on the PLANET and i will still think hes the best if he has long hair #like my standards for what makes a character good will instantly drop to 0 if he has long hair #my tastes are so predictable. you could look at any piece of media ive ever watched and reliably guess my favorite character EVERY time

[ghostdrinkssoup]

nbc hannibal is a romcom purely because the central conflict results from hannibal not understanding his feelings for will and being a total loser about it because he’s never had a friend or been in love before which makes him act so silly and do the most insane things that will interprets being framed for murder as hannibal having something against him (as anyone would), and this series of misunderstandings is not resolved until hannibal’s ex girlfriend and former psychiatrist tells will that hannibal is so in love with him it makes him look stupid. after that will does not hesitate to break hannibal out of jail and douse himself in blood which is this show’s equivalent to the protagonist running to the airport to stop their love interest from leaving the country and marrying someone else before they’ve had the chance to confess that they’ve loved them ever since they’ve known them

#s1 from hannibal’s pov is the funniest shit ever he’s like I think I want a friend… I’ve never felt like this before… #I guess ​the only way to deal with this is to set his brain on fire #and then is shocked when will tells him the light of friendship won’t reach them for a million years #and spends the rest of the show trying to communicate how he feels without EVER SAYING ANYTHING DIRECTLY #the only way to do the miscommunication trope right #hannibal is literally just some guy and he’s so emotionally constipated he can’t even ask a guy out #zero swag and zero rizz but he still somehow gets will in the end #the show is a romcom !! #nbc hannibal #hannibal #will graham #hannigram #ghost speaks