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comrade-meow · 3 years

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This is a transcript of a speech by developmental biologist Dr Emma Hilton delivered on 29 November 2020 for the ‘Feminist Academics Talk Back!’ meeting. This talk was originally published by womentalkback.org

Sex denialists have captured existing journals We are dealing with a new religion

Thank you for the invitation to speak today, as a feminist academic fighting back.

As ever, let’s begin with a story. And, trust me, by the end of this talk, you’re going to know a lot more about creationism that you expected:

1. In the 1920s, in concert with many other American states, the Tennessee House of Representatives passed the Butler Act, making it illegal for state public schools to: “teach any theory that denies the Story of the Divine Creation of man as taught in the Bible.” In other words, banning schools from teaching the theory of evolution.

Three months later, Tennessee science teacher John Scopes was on trial, charged with teaching the theory of evolution, a crime he was ultimately found guilty of. He was fined £71 – about £1064 in today’s money – so it could have been an expensive affair for him, had he not got off on a really boring administrative technicality.

Yet, despite the evidence against him and his own confession, he was an innocent man. Scopes was not guilty of teaching the theory of evolution. He admitted to a crime he had not committed. He even coached his students in their testimonies against him. So why would he admit to this wrongdoing of which he was entirely innocent? Why would he contrive apparent guilt? In protest. In protest against a law he viewed as fundamentally incompatible with the pursuit of scientific truth.

2. The history of creationism and education laws in the US is turbulent and often opaquely legalese, especially for those of us unfamiliar with US law. Some of the methods of the wider creationist movement, however, will be immediately recognisable as they are employed by a new movement, one which seeks to erase another scientific truth, the fact of sex.

Method 1. The framing of human classifications, whether it’s species or sex, as “arbitrary”. This leads to the premise that such phenomena are “social constructs” that need not exist if we chose to reject them. That truth must be relative and consensual. Never mind that these “arbitrary” classifications appear to be surprisingly similar classifications across all cultures and civilisations.

It also necessarily spotlights tricky boundary cases – not really a personal problem for the long-dead evolutionary missing links, but a very real problem in the modern world for people whose sex is atypical and who are constantly invoked, even fetishized, as “not males” or “not females” to prove sex classification is somehow no more than human whimsy.

People with DSDs have complex and often traumatic medical histories, perhaps struggling to understand their bodies, and they deserve more respect than to be casually and thoughtlessly used as a postemodernist “gotcha” by the very people so horribly triggered by a pronoun.

Method 2. The distortion of science and the development of sciencey language to create a veneer of academic rigour. Creationists invented “irreducible complexity” and “specified complexity” while Sex denialists try to beat people over the head with their dazzling arrays of “bimodal distributions arranged in n-dimensional space”.

Creationists, unable to publish in mainstream science journals because they weren’t producing, well, science, established their own journals. “Journals”. Sex denialists have captured existing journals – albeit limited to more newsy ones and to occasional editorials and blogs about gender (which is not sex), about how developmental biology is soooo complicated (which does not mean sex is complicated – I mean, the internal combustion engine is complicated but cars still fundamentally go forwards or backwards), about how discussing the biology of sex is mean (OK, good luck with that at your doctor’s surgery). Many such blogs and articles are written by scientists who simultaneously deny sex to their social media audience while writing academic papers about how female fruitflies make shells for their eggs (no matter how queer they are), about the development of ovaries or testes in fish and about how males make sperm.

The current editor-in-chief at Nature, the first female to hold this position, studied sex determination in worms for her PhD, and she now presides over a journal with an editorial policy to insert disclaimers about the binary nature of sex into spotlight features about research on, for example, different death rates in male and female cystic fibrosis patients.

The authors of the studies are not prevaricating or handwaving about sex, but the editorial team is “bending the knee”. I used to research a genetic disorder that was male-lethal – that is, male human babies died early in gestation. I’d love to know if this disclaimer would be applied there.

Method 3. Debate strategies like The Gish Gallop. This method is named for Duane Gish, who is a prominent creationist. What it boils down to is: throw any old argument, regardless of its validity, in quick succession at your opponent and then claim any dismissal or missed response or even hesitation in response as a score for your side. In Twitter parlance, we know this as “sealioning”, in political propaganda as the “firehose of falsehood”, although Wikipedia also suggests that it is covered by the term “bullshit”. So, what about intersex people? what about this article? what about an XY person with a uterus? what about the fa’afafine? what about that article? look at this pretty picture. what about what about whataboutery what about clownfish? The aim is not to discuss or debate, it is to force submission from frustration or exhaustion.

Method 4. The reification of humans as separate from not just monkeys but the rest of the living world. The special pleading for special descriptions that frame humans as the chosen ones, such that the same process of making new individuals, common to humans and asparagus, an observation I chose because it seems superficially silly – it could have been spinach – requires its own description, one that accounts for gender identity.

3. In the Scopes trial, which saw discussion of whether Eve was actually created from Adam’s rib and ruminations on where Cain got his wife, Scopes was defended by a legal group who had begun scouting for a test case subject as soon as the Tennessee ban was enacted. This legal group claimed to advocate for:

“Freedom of speech for ideas from the most extreme left such as anarchists and socialists, to the most extreme right including the Ku Klux Klan, Henry Ford, and others who would now be considered more toward the Fascist end of the spectrum.”

The legal group so keen to defend the right to speak the truth, in this case a fundamental, observable scientific truth? The American Civil Liberties Union, a group whose modern day social media presence promotes nonsense like:

“The notion of biological sex was developed for the exclusive purpose of being weaponized against people.”

and

“Sex and gender are different words for the same thing [that is] a set of politically and socially contingent notions of embodied and expressed identity.”

and shares articles asserting that biological sex is rooted in white supremacy.

Since the Scopes case, the ACLU have fought against many US laws preventing, or at least compromising, the teaching of evolution. I cannot process the irony of a group of people historically and consistently prepared to robustly defend the truth of evolution while now denying one of the most important biological foundations of evolution.

4. How do we fight this current craze of sex denialism? A major blow for creationism teaching was delivered in 1986 while the US Supreme Court were considering a Louisiana state law requiring creationism to be taught alongside evolution. The Louisiana law was struck down, in part influenced by the expert opinions, submitted to the court, of scientists who put aside their individual and, as one of them has since described “often violent” differences on Theory X and Experiment Y, to present a unified defence of scientific truth over religious belief. 76 Nobel laureates, 17 state academies of science and a handful of scientific organisations all got behind this single cause, and made a very real change.

Support for creationism has slowly ebbed away and the US is in a much more sensible position these days, although I still meet the occasional student from a Southern state who didn’t learn about evolution until college.

Sadly, one of the Nobel laureates has highlighted how unusual this collective response was and that he could not imagine any other issue that would receive the same groundswell of community support. Although he forged his career listening out for the Big Bang, so maybe I need to go through the list and find the biologists.

Part of the problem petitioning biologists to speak out is not necessarily fear of being cancelled or whatever, but simple lack of awareness of the issue, or incredulity that it is being taken remotely seriously. I’ve been working on a legal document and was discussing with a colleague about my efforts to find a citation for the statement, “there are two sexes, male and female”. He laughed at the idea that this would require a citation, told me to check a textbook, then realised that this statement is so simple that it would not even be included in a textbook.

And he’s right. I can find chapters in textbooks and hundreds of academic papers dedicated to how males and females are made, how they develop, how they differ, yet very few that feel the need to preface any of this with the statement “There are two sexes, male and female”. It is apparently something that biologists do not think needs to be said.

But of course, I think they are wrong, and that we live in a time where it does need to be said, where some aspects of society are being restructured around a scientific untruth, and where females will suffer.

Without recognition of and language to describe our anatomy, and the experiences that stem from that anatomy, mostly uninvited, we can neither detect nor measure things like rates of violence against women, the medical experiences, the social experiences of women and girls.

And, as for creationism, the reality of sex perhaps needs to be said by those with scientific authority, in unambiguous terms. Otherwise, we are living in a society that tolerates nonsense like there is no such thing as male or female, that differences evident to our own eyes are not real, that anatomies readily observable and existing in monkey and man alike do not actually exist. I’m sure this last assertion has the full support of the creationist community. And perhaps, as for creationism, a true tipping point will be tested when it is our children being taught these scientific untruths, or worse, when it is illegal to say different.

5. At the end of his trial, the only words Scopes uttered in court were these:

“Your honor, I feel that I have been convicted of violating an unjust statute. I will continue in the future, as I have in the past, to oppose this law in any way I can. Any other action would be in violation of my ideal of academic freedom—that is, to teach the truth as guaranteed in our constitution, of personal and religious freedom.”

I do not exaggerate when I say we are dealing with a new type of religion, a new form of creationism and a new assault on scientific truth. I also do not exaggerate when I say it may take a high profile court case to rebalance the public discourse around sex. There is only so far letters and opinion articles can go.

Two things I predict: 1. It will not be defended by the ACLU, and 2. With the recent proposals on hate speech law, it will probably involve a Scottish John Scopes, who finds themself in front of a judge for the seditious crime of discussing the sex life of asparagus at their dinner table.

Dr Emma Hilton is a developmental biologist studying aspects of human genetic diseases, and her current research focuses on a congenital motor neurone disease affecting the genitourinary tract, and on respiratory dysfunction in cystic fibrosis. She teaches reproduction, genes, inheritance and genetic disorders. Emma has a special interest in fairness in female sports. A strong advocate for women and girls, Emma tweets as @FondofBeetles.

#Anglo.txt

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treestargarden · 3 years

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episode 4, “colorful girls” analysis

tw: child sexual abuse

this episode does not hold back.

first of all, momo is ace and non-binary. no i won’t be elaborating.

wonder killers’ dialogue:

next, the wonder killers absolutely say things that were important to the wonder girls’ irl trauma. this is from miwa’s wonder killer. she just had a conversation with momo where she revealed the hurtful things her mother said to her, like “why couldn’t you just take it” or “take it as a compliment, it means you’re cute.” it’s quite possible with this dialogue, that these were also things her abuser said to her quite often to make her believe simply by existing she was “asking for it.”

wonder eggs’ inner strengths:

its also possible that the wonder killers are... combinations of the wonder girls’ sources of trauma and not just 1 manifestation of 1 person, but rather all of the people connected to the trauma.

in response, miwa says this:

and added on “you got married, because you love each other” in the first few minutes of meeting her, i was not expecting this. up to this point, we have met a lot of wonder girls who are tired, exhausted, sad, lonely (excluding the 2 girls that ai and rika are trying to save right now). but, given the fact that she was vocal about her abuse, i’m certain this is exactly how miwa would respond in this situation.

even more poignant, is the fact momo simply listened to miwa’s protest while they were fighting the wonder killer. they agreed with her. i find it fascinating. i’m not sure what to do with this info yet, but i already like momo (partly bc i /know/ they’re non-binary, like... that’s a genderfuck if i ever saw one).

this next part really grabbed my attention, juxtaposed with miko and mako’s kill-assist. these girls are definitely not meant to seem helpless or meek or powerless. i really like that this show so far has been capturing the complexity of a “survivor’s” strength (again, quotes, because these girls are technically dead, but i don’t want to use the term “victim” because it implies they have no power).

they recognize when someone else is in need of help and they easily flip the switch from saved to savior. i’m in love with these girls so far. their characterization is complex, intriguing, and realistic at this point.

specifically with miwa, her “surrender” is not my interpretation at all. she specifically recognized that she did have some power in this situation to help momo, just as miko and mako had some power to assist ai. their approaches are entirely different, but that doesn’t make their courage, or the strength, wrong. i’m not angry at this characterization of miwa AT ALL. sometimes, the best way to avoid worse punishment is to give in, its just the fuckin reality of abuse. but it neither makes her weak, nor does it make the writers apologists.

they /specifically/ juxtaposed the girls because they wanted to show that they had different strengths for different reasons and that neither were entirely powerless. they did the best they could in this situation.

shit i love momo:

also, if you have read this far, this is why i think momo is non-binary:

i have a few... thoughts about momo’s trauma specifically that may relate to momo being non-binary.

1) momo’s wonder eggs r rape “survivors.” if my theory that the wonder eggs directly relate to the irl peoples trauma, then it would be plausible that momo’s trauma is some form of sexual trauma.

2) continuing with the sexual trauma thread, and also including momo’s flashback, it’s quite possible between them and now, that momo’s trauma occurred between these 2 points in time. this is inferred by the obvious change in appearance.

3) what could have “caused” (this isn’t to blame momo’s trauma on momo, but it’s the closest word i could think of on the spot for trading out my theories) momo’s trauma?

i have a few ideas: momo has the face of a boy, but used to wear girls clothing and sometimes momos voice fluctuates from sounding like a boy to sounding like a girl. momo could have been correctively raped either for being perceived as a femboy, trans woman, or a dyke.

additionally the corrective rape could have happened /after/ momo started wearing boys clothes and someone would have taken notice that momo sounded like a girl but looked boyish.

in either case, momo confessed to an unnamed second girl that wearing boys clothes is “simpler.” even if momo doesn’t necessarily like it, it seems momo feels forced to present as a boy. at this point, it can then be inferred the boys clothing is probably a coping mechanism to deal with the trauma (and now i feel that the issue happened when momo still dressed/presented as a girl).

HOWEVER, not once does momo ever explicitly say momo is a girl, feels like a girl, wishes momo was a girl. only momo’s presentation has been discussed at this point. in the screen shots i provided above, i feel like most people would say “i /am/ a girl.” i think that momo at least identifies with girlhood, but i don’t think momo is attached to the identity of “girl.”

and momo is ace/aro because all of these relationships we see momo in are very one-sided. when miwa tells momo she loves momo, momo replies with “thank you.” and when miwa asks if they can continue cuddling “until i disappear” we get a closeup on momo who looks forlorn and thoughtful, who simply says “sure.” a lot of momo’s interactions with girls giving momo sexual/romantic attraction feel empty.

on the other hand, we see momo’s interactions with the other 3 main characters at the end of this chapter as very emotional, light. it’s probably the /most/ lighthearted we have seen momo. momo is not getting unwanted attention—they’re all just gossiping and laughing.

when we see momo’s flashbacks with haruka, we notice that haruka hugs momo but momo does not reciprocate the touching.

again, these are just threads that im seeing and excitedly pull apart, some of my theories are half baked until i have more information. but for me it’s plainly obvious that momo is an ace non-binary person. i know the fandom has been... having heated discourse about “what is momo /really/.” and for some reason this is controversial? really weird to me.

it’s a complex issue because gender is complex. for those of you that are binary, remember that you feel very knowledgeable about your own gender, but being non-binary is an absolutely different experience all together. we aren’t some “third gender” bullshit. and i’m quite enjoying seeing binary folks be confused about momo because that’s what being non-binary feels like. i wake up every day wondering what today’s gender will be. welcome to my fuckin life.

neiru:

i find it fascinating her personality has taken a complete 180 turn regarding ai. if we remember, in the beginning of their relationship, neiru was specific that ai could only contact her if she wished to change who buys eggs when. but once neiru was admitted to the hospital, ai started texting and visiting her throughout her healing period.

initially i thought this was more of a “keep your friends closer, your enemies closer” scenario, but then i went back to the episode 2 ending:

at first, neiru forbade ai from texting her other than to make egg-buying arrangements. but neiru texted ai back with a thumbs up emoji. she isn’t being incredibly open, but given the development of her character so far, i think this is definitely her way of showing ai she trusts her and that neiru is opening up to her.

settings:

so at this point, its pretty obvious that the location of the main characters’ worlds are always the same and they are specifically tied to their links’ places of death.

neiru: unknown

ai: school

rika: gardens

momo: subway

from the other information we have gathered, its probably likely all of the links have died by suicide.

neiru: unknown. however, we do know that neiru claims she could have stopped it.

ai: a story of child sexual abuse/bullying. i’m not sure if koiko committed suicide because she was being molested or because of the bullying, but it could also be a combination of the 2

rika: rejection/fatphobia/eating disorder. chiemi committed suicide because of rika’s rejection based on fatphobia. chieme probably developed an eating disorder, evidenced by rika re-telling ai the day she visited chiemi’s funeral “she was skin and bones”.

momo: rejection/unknown. haruka expressed attraction to momo. it seems momo may have rejected that love and haruka felt suicide was the best way to resolve her inner conflict.

faults:

hmm at the same time, there are some hang-ups i have about this episode. a lot of these girls are so... love-starved, that even when a character shows the slightest bit of tenderness for them, they are quick to say “i love you!” miwa told momo she loved him, “even if i’ve only known you for a day” and this was juxtaposed by miko and mako telling rika and ai they loved them, too. there is something to be said about the attachment issues some of the wonder girls may have to people who help them resolve their trauma/healing.

extra:

#wonder egg priority #momoe sawaki #neiru #ai ohto #rika kawai #miko and mako #chiemi #haruka #koito

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cock-holliday · 3 years

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how are you gonna pretend to be inclusive of all sexualities and then post some panphobic ish bruh. i know this is gonna sound like some random ass rant you didn't ask for but like lemme preface this by saying... i'm bi. who cares if people call themselves pan? i'm of the belief that bi and pan are functionally similar and it really just comes down to which you prefer. the "hearts vs parts" argument is bullshit, i agree, but man, how are you just gonna publicly announce you're panphobic like that? anyways. you don't have to answer this, i know i'm literally just an internet stranger. but like... idk man. it just kinda sucks to know you're someone who my pan friends wouldn't be able to just exist as themselves around.

People are free to identify however they want, and I (mostly) don’t care if you ID as pan, and certainly won’t tell you you can’t, but I would like you to reflect on why you use it. Half of the people are in the camp that it means the exact same thing as bisexual, the other half insist that pan is more inclusive. Which is it? If it means the exact same thing and comes down to preference, what informs your preference? Is it just more fun to say or you like the flag colors better? If that’s the case then more power to you, it’s a cool color scheme, and this decision is evident that it really truly just is a preference. If you can’t define why you prefer it, could it possibly be a misunderstanding of bisexuality and bi history?

The expansion of labels beyond LGBT have generally been to serve one of two purposes, to expand a definition or narrow it. For example, trans as a label technically includes nonbinary people, but trans also includes binary trans folks, so a label to specifically reference not being the binary was formed. Nonbinary technically encompasses labels like genderqueer, agender, genderfluid, bigender but each term describes a more specific experience. Your identity is in flux, or you specifically ID with two genders, or no gender. There are of course potential issues with the need to find hyper-specific boxes for identity and the possibility of further fracturing community vs solidarity, but that is a whole other discussion.

When it comes to pansexual, or omnisexual, what is the purpose of these terms if they mean exactly the same thing as bisexual? To further the point, a sexuality emerged to describe an attraction to feminine people, which is specific. Recently the term was called “finsexual” after the previous label for it was called “gynesexual.” Gynesexual and its counterpart androsexual had battles over whether the label meant an attraction to femininity/masculinity or, as it was often used, attracted to people with specific junk in their pants. I have not seen discourse over these labels in years, but it drummed up a bit of attention in the day when gynesexual was used as an excuse for cis lesbians to exclude trans women from their “attracted to women” label.

If pansexual is considered to mean exactly the same as bisexual, why when a post is made about bisexual people do I frequently see, “what about pansexual?” If it means the same would you not already be included by a reference to bisexuality? So if it doesn’t mean the same thing or is slightly different, how is it different? “Hearts not parts” bisexuality already covered that. “Gender isn’t a factor in my attraction” already true for many bisexuals. “Bi means men and women and not nb or trans people” first, trans people are often men or women, second, bisexuality already included people of other genders beyond the binary. “Well I like ALL genders” again, bisexuality already included this.

The desperation for many pan and omnisexual folks to distance themselves from bisexuality is always going to come off to me as suspect. What about bisexuality is so unappealing to you if you really hate the label? Reflect on that. If there really truly is no difference and it comes down to a preference, where does the discourse come from? Why do I constantly see “pan is better” “pan is more inclusive” “all bi people are actually pan”? In what way is it more inclusive than an already inclusive label? Queer as a term has been adopted to be a more inclusive label, because it can encompass bisexual folks AND lesbians and gay men. Gay as a label was adopted as an encompassing term because it was used toward people regardless of if they were women or if the person was attracted to more than just their gender. What does pansexual or omnisexual add?

The positive answer is that it comes down to wanting to feel unique. There are dozens of labels that don’t mean anything or aren’t separate from already existing labels and functions to just add extra flare. In that case there’s certainly debate again about isolating from other labels and the potential for fracturing community, but on its face it is harmless. It’s just people playing with labels, just having fun, making shit up and trying stuff out. Well and fine.

The less positive answer is that it is used out of ignorance about bisexuality. At that point, I begin to wonder what else you have no idea about. This is not unique to pan discourse, there is so much Very Online bullshit that emphasizes an absolute lack of understanding of queer history and/or a disregard for easily accessible education on the topic. “Gay doesn’t include more than men” “Queer is only a slur” “camp is a slur” “You need dysphoria to be trans” etc etc.

So every time someone tells me they are pan I wonder about the thought process behind the decision. What camp are you in with this label? I once used the label myself, out of mistaken assumptions about bisexuality. The same as everyone I know personally who used to ID as pan and now no longer do. I do not think that everyone who uses pan is an active biphobe, but I do think many are basing it on misconceptions. People are gonna continue to use whatever labels tickle their fancy, and I know discourse isn’t going to see the end of any particular label as many will dig in their heels from confrontation, change the definition, or are just vibing with the label not paying any attention to the discourse surrounding it. Kinda envy the last group.

I do not care what you call yourself, you can use whatever terms you think fits, I just want people who use pan to ask

Why do I prefer this label?

Do I consider it to be different than bi? If yes, why?

Do I understand bisexuality?

That’s it.

#pansexuality #pan discourse

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miggydiaz · 3 years

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for the salty ask: 3, 7, 10, 11, 15, 16, 19, 22, 23, 24, 25 and 27 for spn

I had to do this one today because I have a LOT of Supernatural feelings and so a lot of these are even longer than my CK one. But thanks for the ask @wonderwolfballoon!

UNPOPULAR SUPERNATURAL OPINIONS AHOY: INCLUDES ANTI-DESTIEL SENTIMENTS AND OTHER UNSAVORY ELEMENTS

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? 100000000% I have unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion in the SPN fandom. SPN was the fandom that taught me to make JUDICIOUS use of the blocking feature tumblr offers in order to curate my experience. I would actually encourage anyone and everyone to use the blocking feature if they disagree with people. Honestly, we don’t owe anyone our time or energy, especially on the internet! It is much healthier than sending or responding to hate, IMO. 7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?* This is actually a hard one for me to answer, so let me start by saying -- I have not seen a SINGLE episode since 9x05? I think? Whichever episode was the Dr. Deanlittle one where he talks to animals. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the first 5 seasons, and they are all I watch anymore and I pretend nothing else exists after that (except The French Mistake because that episode is hilarious). But uh... I guess the simple answer is when I was originally watching it, I really loved Dean. He was brash, snarky, rough around the edges... but kind of soft in a I’m too toxically masculine to deal with my softness sort of way that I love seeing characters grow out of as they mature. But when I go back and rewatch now, much older than I was in 2006 when I first started watching, I see how awful a lot of his older behavior truly was. I still love Dean, and I will be a Dean girl until I die probably, but sometimes you gotta remind yourself that your faves have been problematic in the past so you don’t put them up on fandom constructed pedestals.

10. Most disliked arc? Why? AND AS A BONUS, MY ANSWER to 11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why? I could write a literal essay about all of the problems I have with the later seasons (the ones I watched, which encompasses 6, 7, 8, and a few episodes of 9). But by far and away, the thing I hated most, was the Men of Letters.

Okay, this is where I am going to recognize my love of certain characters is at FUNDAMENTAL ODDS with how that character develops later and what history and background we get later on them. I RECOGNIZE this character is problematic, and I would NEVER STAND for his shit IRL, but fiction is complicated and nuanced, and fantastic circumstances do not make for normal behaviors. That being said, with all warnings I could possibly give, and with the full understanding that what I am about to say is basically fandom blasphemy of the highest order...

I like John Winchester’s character.

I know, I know. If you wanna stop reading and block me now, you are free to do that. I will not hold it against you. I am not about to apologize for anything he has done. I just need to contextualize why I have such an issue with the MOL storyline and it starts with the simple fact that I liked John Winchester as he was originally presented.

To me, and with the full understanding that I am answering this from the perspective of someone who DOES NOT regard anything past season 5 as personal canon, John Winchester is the perfect example of a truly complicated character. Here’s a parent who, if we take the pilot and the original s2 Djinn episodes at face value, could have been a great parent, who then got shoved into a fantastically impossible situation and made terrible choices that he thought were necessary in order to keep himself and his sons safe. That does not EXCUSE the heaps of abuse that he piled onto Dean in any way. We know John and Mary didn’t have a great marriage. But we also know from the pilot that John was at least a caring and present father, mostly, for the 4 years he got to parent in a normal world, and that if Mary had lived, John would’ve been a softball playing dad who raised his kids and had a loving marriage with his wife. (Again, I need to reiterate, I did not watch anything past the early episodes of s9. If there is later canon that negates this, I do not know about it, nor do I want to because I don’t think of anything past 5 as canon) This is all important to me because these things emphasize that John was “NORMAL”. He was a mechanic, from a family of mechanics, whose father didn’t bail on him (a man in the episode where Dean is transported back in time to Lawrence tells John to ‘say hi to your old man for me’ or something to that effect). He was just a midwestern dude. Giving John Winchester a fantastical background through this Men of Letters bullshit made me SO MAD. First of all, I hate when later canon negates previous canon. I cannon TELL you how much I hate it. And the later seasons of Supernatural are riddled with stuff that doesn’t make any damn sense in the context of original, Kripke written canon, which is exactly why I stopped watching. That’s not ~Evolution of the show.~ That’s conveniently forgetting stuff that made your show and its premise so successful to begin with in order to keep filming episodes so you can keep making money. It’s the sacrifice of art for capitalism and yes I know this is a stupid TV show but as a writer myself it PISSES ME OFF.

/rant

ALSO, the idea that this toxically masculine family was set on this path by Heaven, and inherited this curse that put them on this path from their mother was such a good plot twist in its heyday. We spent four seasons thinking of Mary Winchester as a victim of circumstance, whose fate could not have been avoided because she was the mother to Sam, who is effectively cursed. And then, we learn that its BECAUSE of Mary that this ball even got rolling in the first place. IDK if you were around for that time in the fandom but at least in my circle, this was a big fucking deal. There had been so much (rightful) discourse about John before this, and what kind of parent he was, that Mary became almost deified in the same way Dean deifies her. And then we find out that this whole story gets set in motion by a decision she made because this was the life she found herself in. This was great. It was interesting. And even though the MOL doesn’t negate any of this, it does give John this weirdly fantastical that isn’t necessary. Let this guy be just some Joe Schmoe who fell in love with a kick ass hunter and had no idea any of this even existed. Let Mary and her want to be ‘normal’ be a complicated moral choice that fundamentally altered the paths of her husband and sons. It’s good tv!

Also, I fucking hate the bunker. The best episodes are Dean and Sam having moments in the car, or while in motel rooms on their cases, or whatever. I don’t mind them having a home base. I’m fine with that. But if a building could ever be a Mary Sue character, the bunker is it. I hate all of the MOL storyline, starting with this place.

I may not even tag this as Supernatural, I don’t need angry later season stans in my inbox.

15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

There’s nothing good about anything that happened after season 6. It’s all a bunch of retconning bullshit. Season 6 had its moments where it was interesting, so I cut it a little bit of slack, but as far as I’m concerned, the show ended in season 5. I’m not sure that’s necessarily unpopular, but it does feel that way on tumblr, so.

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

Aside from ending it in season 5?

Oooh, I’m about to blaspheme again. I am definitely not tagging this as Supernatural.

I would never have introduced Castiel, and I would’ve given that entire storyline to Anna. Or, alternatively, I would’ve flipped their story lines.

Look, for whatever it’s worth... I agree with the idea that Dean Winchester is a repressed bisexual. His Dr. Sexy love, the entire storyline with Benny in season 8, etc. I just don’t think he feels romantically about Castiel. And like, that’s okay! Just because you’re not into someone who is into you doesn’t mean you owe them a relationship or anything, no matter what the fandom thinks.

But I also think Dean has a big problem when it comes to women. Again, obviously later on in the series, Dean shifts and Charlie happens and Claire Novak and I know all of these things from gifs okay, context is not applicable here because I have none. But early on, Dean struggles A LOT with thinking of women as A) capable and B) trustworthy. He exists in a perpetual state of identifying women along the Madonna/Whore binary. Even Jo, however you feel about her, and to be clear, I loved Jo, but he doesn’t stop thinking of her really as a kid until they’re about to shoot the devil. Up until then, he’s genuinely surprised Ellen lets her out of the damn house.

Giving him a strong, capable woman who rebels against Heaven for HIM would have fundamentally altered Dean’s perceptions of women much earlier on than we get and would have forced him to examine some of that misogyny head on.

Dean has no problems trusting men. This is why the entire Gordon fiasco happens, right? It was less work for him to trust Castiel because Castiel is the inverse of Ruby. Angel to her Demon. Angels and demons don’t really have genders, but for the sake of presentation of vessels, man to her woman. Not even getting me started on the problematic parts of having significant demons mostly symbolized by women (Meg, Ruby, Lilith) and having significant angels mostly represented by Men (Castiel, Michael, Lucifer, Zachariah, Gabriel, Raphael), and how that ties into the idea of Original Sin and yada yada, but just like it’s interesting to have Mary and her decisions be the catalyst for the story, it’s interesting to have this badass warrior angel in Anna who marches down to Hell to yank Dean out, and through her interactions with him, decide to rebel against the ultimate patriarchy, while Dean gets an equally strong female counterpart to Sam’s Ruby, a woman for all intents and purposes that he respects as a soldier and an ally and not just a potential piece of ass.

Also, Castiel fans being literally unbearable is why I left the fandom. Nothing against Misha or anything, and not even anything against Cas as a character (who I very much enjoyed in seasons 4 and 5), but his fans have always been the worst and they try to insert him into everything.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Castiel/Destiel fans, which even though I also hated the direction the show was going, drove me out of the fandom. Not like, personally or directly, but just the sheer mental hoops they had to jump through in order to make their ship work and I just got tired of seeing all of the contrived meta on my dash. Oh, and the rampant misogyny that came out of those early Castiel fans. I didn’t appreciate it from the Wincest corner, and I definitely didn’t appreciate it from the fans of the new guy. Gross.

22. Popular character you hate?

Oof. I don’t know. I don’t really hate Castiel, because again, I liked him a lot in seasons 4 and 5. Even 6 was interesting, even if I don’t regard it as my own personal show canon. I don’t think there was a popular character in those first five seasons I ever really hated. I didn’t fundamentally hate a character at all until the MOL stuff came around. Um. Yeah, I don’t really have an answer for this.

23. Unpopular character you love?

Pretty much every female character ever. Jo, Ellen, Ruby, Meg... although Meg became more popular as the series went on, Anna. Um. OH, BELA. Bela ESPECIALLY, I recently rewatched season 3 and I cannot emphasize how MUCH I love Bela. She was the best purely human foil ever. Bela is hands down the character I love most that the fandom had frothing at the mouth hatred for. It doesn’t help that I legitimately think Lauren Cohan is one of the most beautiful women on the planet. But seriously, Bela. Hands down.

24. Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?

I have! Many of times, and ALWAYS WITH THE CAVEAT to stop at the end of season 5. Not a single one of them has listened to me and almost all of them came to me at the end of the finale and were like WHY DID I WASTE SO MUCH TIME, and I don’t want to say I told them so, but like, I explicitly in neon colored text once told them so, so like, idk what to tell them. But yes! I think if someone is interested in some classic mystery television that has an overarching theme of family and forgiveness and striking out against the boxes that life tries to put us all into, SPN is a great show. But only the first 5 seasons. Also, be prepared for some thematically problematic parts of the show because there’s a lot of cishet toxic masculinity in those early seasons, and we should examine our media critically. There’s also a lot of good though too, and IMO, the good outweighs the bad.

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

I would’ve ended it at season 5. I would’ve had Sam escape the pit and seen him standing under the street lamp, but then I would’ve had him walking away to leave Dean with Lisa (btw, side note, I DIDN’T like Lisa because I don’t think Dean would ever be truly happy with someone completely outside the life). Not because Sam doesn’t love his brother, but because he *does* love his brother, and because he would want Dean to be happy, even though Dean and Sam’s ideas of what makes the other happy have always been a little bit screwed up.. but that’s a different story.

27. Least shippable character?

Probably Zachariah. God, could you imagine? And... maybe Alastair, but I’m sure there are fics out there that I do not want to think about.

#wonderwolfballoon #I cannot for the sake of my own sanity tag this #I don't need angry SPN fans coming at me #I hope the bold text at the top helps people to understand what's behind the cut

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meteor752 · 4 years

Text

...Hi.

I’ve wanted to make this post for a good while, just to get all of this out of my system.

This is not to make myself the victim, or to blame the person I’m going to talk about, this is just to vent.

There are also some people that I know that follow me and the person and will probably see this post, and I just want to ask you not to get involved or pick sides or anything.

So imagine you’re me, you’re a kid in a new school and you don’t know anyone. You are away on a class trip in the beginning of the year, and you’re supposed to sit with your class seat buddy on the bus, but your belts don’t work so you both have to find somewhere else to sit.

You walk along the bus aisle near tears, when you see a free seat beside a kid with black and yellow hair looking out the window. You ask them if you can sit there, and they says yes.

We will call this kid Kim.

You and Kim introduce yourselves, and they mention that they’ve read a book wity a character that has the same name as you, and you end up talking about other books you both have read.

The two of you go in the same year but different classes, so you hang out whenever you can.

You make other friends in your own class, but frankly there’s just a lot of drama and sometimes it’s nice to just hang out with a person that is more like you.

You and Kim spend three years hanging out together, playing Pokémon trainers, discussing Harry Potter, pretending to be animals, and you just have a lot of fun.

At the end of sixth grade you come out to the world as a Lesbian, and Kim comes out to you as Pansexual, and you start to bond a lot over it.

But then, at the end of sixth grade, something happens.

You decide that next year, with a new class, you won’t be a pushover anymore. You won’t be the girl that sits in during recess, reading Harry Potter books. You will be tougher, more outspoken, more confident.

You and Kim end up in the same class, and everything is fine at first!

But then, without realizing it, it changes.

You both start hanging out with other people together, and quickly become a part of a friend group. But without realizing it yourself, you are much more into the group than Kim is.

Kim starts forgetting their glasses, so they have to sit in the front of the class while you prefer to sit in the back.

The people that you and Kim used to hate have actually matured a lot, and you end up being able to have genuine conversations with them, despite Kim not realizing this.

Then everything goes downhill for you.

You start getting anonymous hate messages on the internet because of your sexuality, you start to really see the flaws in yourself, you start to hate how you look, how you think, how you are.

And you’re too afraid too talk about it to your parents, so you bring it up when you’re talking with Kim.

But instead of taking what your saying seriously, Kim interrupts you when you try to have a serious conversation, just saying random words, and instead of being there for you they just say “Yeah that’s how life is”.

You graduate seventh grade, and begin the worst Sumer of your life.

The summer of refusing to leave your bed, the summer of crying for someone to be there when no one is, the summer of long sleeves.

And through it all, Kim isn’t there.

When you begin right grade, you’re basically dead inside.

You laugh along with your friends, you do your homework, you write your fanfics, but inside you just want to end it all.

You barely hang out with Kim anymore, except for rare occasions, and it’s during this time that you start to realize how annoyed you are of them.

The way they laugh way too much at the smallest joke, like banging their hands on the table laugh, the way they always interrupt you when you’re talking, the way they insist on befriending the teachers, even the ones that bully you, the way they always make ridiculous poses that aren’t funny in the slightest.

You get really into musicals at this time, and you try to talk to Kim about them, but they always say that they are not interested in a sharp tone. But then they come up to you and start to talk about drag races and drag queens, and you try to listen but it’s just really not interesting to you, and when you tell them that they just huff and stomp away.

You ask Kim about it all, if they are in someway mad at you since they seem so sharp towards you. They say that no, they aren’t, but that they thinks it’s annoying that you shout across the classroom to correct someone??

You tell them that you need them in your life because of all the shit you are going through, but they just recommend a therapist and leave it at that.

Your parents finally find out about how you’re feeling by pure accident, and you’re diagnosed with depression and start seeing a therapist. At first it feels weird, but after a couple of weeks, it starts helping.

It’s in the winter season that Kim comes out to you as Non-binary, while the two of you are walking so you can buy chocolate. You are of course fully supportive, and ask which pronouns they want you to use in public. They say that they’d preferred if you used their given pronouns in public, but in private you use they/them.

But since you barely hang out anymore, you barely call them they/them, and after a while you almost forget about it.

It’s a simple assignment that makes you really despise this person. You’re supposed to make a video about a societal question, that would work almost as an ad. You end up with Kim and another girl, that is actually really kind.

The two of you wants to do something about feminism, but you end up in an argument about something, that eventually leads to if Straights should be allowed at pride.

Kim says strictly no, that Pride is a LGBT thing, and the straights shouldn’t have anything to do with it. You say that they should, because parents and friends should be there as emotional support, and a Bisexual might be dating a straight that wants to be there for their partner etc etc.

You eventually join another group.

After that, you stop trying.

You hang out with your new friends, and occasionally see Kim walk around school alone with their headphones, mouthing the words to the song.

At first you feel bad about it, but you stop after a while because Kim is not even trying to make new friends. They just talk to the teacher during class, give short answers to questions from classmates, and act as if anyone would look at them, they would die.

Kim comes out to the whole world as Non-binary, and you start to call them by their proper pronouns and their new name.

Whenever someone calls them their old pronouns or name, you are the first to correct them, and if anyone has any questions about their gender you are happy to answer, since you know that they’d rather don’t.

If anyone would ever mock them for their gender when they aren’t there, you snarl are them quickly, because it doesn’t matter if you like this person or not, respect all genders bitch!

Kim starts to hang out with new people at school that are a year older than them, and you’re a little happy for them.

It’s at the end of eight grade, when you’re sitting and talking to a friend that also used to be friends with Kim before she had enough, that Kim comes up.

You ask her if Kim ever mentioned why you and they never hang out anymore, and she said that they did.

According to Kim, the reason they and I don’t hang out anymore is because I call them by their old pronouns too much.

And the amount of pure rage that filled me at that moment was like an active volcano.

Because say what you want about me, Arrogant, Weird, a know it all, a disaster, whatever! But don’t you dare to propose that I don’t respect Non-Binary people.

It’s a lie too! I occasionally slip, but I quickly correct myself and apologize! I am the one that always correct people for fucks sake!

But this motherfucker dare to say that I call them the wrong pronouns, that’s just pure bullshit.

I was tempted to just sit up, find Kim and punch them in the face!

I have been wanting to confront Kim about this ever since my friend said it to me, but we have many mutual friends and I don’t want to screw anything up between them.

So currently I have no idea what to do. Thoughts?

#Long Post #Rant #Tumblr Story #Swearing #Story #Tumblr Rant #help #I had to meet the person again today at my bookclub #And the amount of times I wanted to fucking choke them was a lot

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nathansqueak · 4 years

Text

hi guys spending all this time cooped up alone with just my partner and his mom and all our plants is making me realize that fresh-out-of-the-closet seventeen year old me was right and i am a gay trans man.

i cannot begin to describe the amount of internalized transphobia and misogyny i had to work thru to come to that conclusion. seventeen yo me knew but i was ashamed of the fact that i didn’t want to give up feminine things or my relationship to femininity and so i figured that meant i couldn’t be a guy.

like straight up.

years later after developing several good close friendships with cisgender gay men i realized that they tended to wear make up and nail polish and dresses more than i did and it never made them question their gender, it was just fun

and it took until NOW for me to backtrack on SEVEN YEARS of of internalized bullshit to realize that the only reason i figured i couldn’t be a trans man was because i still wanted to wear jewelry and dresses and own feminine things and be, well, feminine

i figured i must be genderqueer, which later specified to agender, because that granted me the liberty to dress and behave however i wanted without contradicting myself. that i was myself beside gender and without it, and thus free to do whatever the fuck i wanted with myself.

except that im now realizing that....i can do that, and have that, and be that, as a trans man, and thinking of myself as not just a man, but as a gay man, makes me really happy.

like, gender euphoria levels of happy. in a way that i, as a self reflective person, cannot ignore.

for years ive had a running internal list of, i guess, reasons why i can’t possibly be a man. the biggest was a revulsion to straight cisgender men that clouded my perception of manhood. the second was a complex of dysphorias and euphorias: i don’t always feel dysphoric about my body and all its parts in the same way that trans men typically are-though i do have dysphoric triggers-but when i bind to the point of actually being (almost) flat it gives me such an overwhelming sense of elation and correctness that i can not find words. cutting my hair off is an indescribable therapy.

the list of reasons going on would be too ridiculous to list, things that one might hear from the mouth of any transphobe. i have too many feminine decorations, i tell myself, and feminine clothes, and every time i listen to a woman musician i feel like that points some kind of finger back at myself and it’s all just nonsense. my cisgender gay male friends don’t worry about these things. one asks me to help paint his nails while we stay up late drinking bubbly wine and listening to lady gaga. one takes me to a big name make up store to help him pick out the colors that are going to go on his face for the show we’re going to that night. one sits down to tea and face masks with me, the first face mask ive ever worn. it’s all fun. we hang out because we get along, and enjoy the same things. they are all gay, they are all men. they do not question themselves.

why have i spent so long questioning myself?

of course the rest of the world will continue to stop at my breasts and look and listen no further. i will expect that until the day i have them removed. but ive known that all the while, and i stopped at being non-binary anyway. i let myself believe that i was being strong, that i had given up on/didn’t care about presentation because what matters is that I know who and what i am, but i was not being forward or honest with myself. i was hiding in some kind of shame.

shame that i could be a trans man who isn’t masculine.

that’s what fucked me up for so long. im not a masculine person. how can i be a man if im not masculine?

im realizing that my idea of masculinity is just that.

#gay trans man #gender thoughts #its been seven years of this #when i first came out i told people to use he him pronouns #and then i spent seven years telling people to use they them #because it didnt feel fair to expect them to say he him #if i dont look like a man

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years

Note

I love your Magnus responses! Some have brought me to tears :') hopwfully you haven't answered this yet. I always see fics/ metas on how Alec came to terms about his sexuality, but never on Magnus (or just a selecative few). In your opinion how did he come to terms with his bisexuality? - luxxmagnus

okay first of all I LOVE UR BLOG im so glad u like my shit omg fajsfoamsa and second of all BOY DO I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW MAGNUS CAME TO TERMS WITH HIS SEXUALI-

okay SO. your relationship with sexuality is deeply influenced by your early years, as is, well, most aspects of your personality lol. so i think it’s fascinating to think about magnus’ relationship with his gender identity and sexuality considering he was born in early-1600s indonesia, aka right when the colonization started. meaning, a lot of their customs and views on gender and sexuality couldn’t have possibly been erased yet, but they were being very violently and aggressively repressed. and then he finished his growing-up years with asmodeus, a demon, who can’t really give much of a fuck about gender identity and sexuality. so this means a very complicated relationship is bound to develop, and i love it.

unfortunately, magnus’ exact ethnic background isn’t specified in SH (nor tsc, i believe) which makes the whole discussion a lot harder because there are hundreds of native peoples in indonesia. however, they were very much in contact with each other both before and after the dutch invasion and subsequent colonisation, so what i’m gonna do here is talk a little bit about the views on the subject magnus was definitely aware of, and go from there

i know this specifically asked about his bisexuality so i will refrain from shitting my trans magnus headcanon all over the place but i will say that the Bugis people recognised five genders, including one for AFAB people who identified as neither male nor female, and one that embodied both female and male identities

anyway, queerphobia is, in fact, a very recent and very european thing, and most indonesian people, like most asian people and most non-modern-western peoples, were actually A-okay with what we view today as homosexuality. there were even many rituals centered around men-on-men and women-on-women practices. they were also pretty open with sexuality as a whole; there’s even a mountain with a shrine where people have sex with strangers as part of their religious worship.

but, as we know, the european colonizers were very intent on killing off and erasing all records of their dominated cultures, particularly the aspects that directly challenged the european model of gender, sexuality and relationships, to the point where we, ppl born in previously colonised countries, don’t even know about our culture’s views on gender and sexuality. in indonesia, the dutch criminalised homosexuality and we can’t forget that magnus’ stepfather was dutch, and that magnus was born after the colonisation.

so here’s the context: since it was very early in the colonisation days, there is no way that magnus didn’t know about the very rich and diverse gender and sexuality practices in his own country. there’s just no way. it takes decades to completely erase that shit. and we can’t forget that all indonesian peoples resisted colonisation, a lot. we don’t know the exact nature of magnus’ mother’s relationship with his stepfather, but it is very likely that he either enslaved or forced her to be in a relationship with him, because - well, because that’s colonisation, folks. it’s what these guys do. this is also supported by the way his stepfather treated magnus, because i mean, what the fuck. it was extremely rare that native colonised ppls would willingly be with their coloniser, particularly considering how the dutch were just, like, casually deporting and starving indonesian native ppls and ppl in java had been at war with the portuguese would-be settlers (would-be because they lost amazingly lmao get rekt) since the beginning of the 1500s. so im gonna go out on a limb here and say that magnus’ “stepfather” was, in fact, an abusive piece of shit coloniser who probably mistreated magnus’ mother and was probably a huge reason why she killed herself - i mean, your people are dying, and you’re bound to this guy who abuses and rapes you and keeps telling you everything about you and the way you live and was raised is demonic, that’s just bound to mess with you. actually, the religious aspect of colonisation that taught ppl that their cultures and religious were demonic and immoral and that they either had to repent for that and submit to the colonisers or be killed slash go to hell, hmmm…… well, is probably related to the fact that the idea that magnus was demon-related was repulsive enough to her that she killed herself? and that’s if we go with the interpretation that magnus was the main reason, which isn’t really reliable because 1- magnus clearly thinks he needs to Save Everyone and is bound to think that if anyone gets hurt it’s his fault; 2- canonically, it was magnus’ stepfather who told magnus that the reason she killed herself was magnus’ heritage. i mean i find it hard to believe personally that magnus’ mom didn’t know she was fucking a demon or at least a supernatural entity of some sort, and the whole angel-demon division is a christianity thing anyway, so what the fuck does this mean to magnus’ mom, really? especially considering that, unlike magnus, she probably was alive before the settlers arrived, so it’s even harder to believe that she would just uncritically believe everything about good and evil she was being taught by the guys that were, you know, committing mass genocide. i personally think that if magnus’ eyes were related to her killing herself at all (which makes less and less sense the more i think about it. i mean, what, was he born glamoured? surely she knew about this before he was like 11 or something) it would be because, in a way, this proved that everything she was being told about herself was true. she was demonic, her culture was demonic, and they deserved the absolutely horrific and traumatic things that were happening to them, and her son’s eyes proved it. so it’s not really about magnus as it is about, like, the entire continent of Europe’s bullshit. and anyway, again, everything she was going through was extremely traumatic - i think magnus’ eyes would be almost an afterthought, if considered at all.

anyway, sorry, went on a huge tangent here, i have no self control whatsoever. what i’m trying to say is that magnus grew up in an environment where expressions of different gender and sexuality were very repressed, but he was born in the heart of the very resistance. he was a native man (or, well, boy) and he knew for a fact that most people lived outside of the constricting western gender and sexuality binary, and he lived in a time where the europeans hadn’t really managed to dominate and erase their culture - of course, they never truly did, but the differences were way more latent. so magnus’ views on the whole thing were probably among the lines of “the asshole white people think the way we live is bad and are trying to kill us and that’s why they’re assholes and we’re trying to kick them out, but currently me and my mom are on their hands so i’m gonna have to behave like they expect me to”. so, lots of abuse, a very complicated relationship, but i do believe that magnus wouldn’t have internalised the european bullshit because, well, he was seeing the counterpoint and the resistance and he certainly knew which side was “his”. also in his flashbacks he’s wearing traditional indonesian clothing so there’s that - proof that he wasn’t completely assimilated to european views and culture.

and then he killed the stepfather (good riddance, rot in hell) and went to live his final teenage years with asmodeus. i mean, more like was found by asmodeus and forced to be with him by both the circumstances and asmodeus himself, but you get what i’m saying.

here’s the thing: asmodeus is definitely an asshole and an abuser, but i can’t bring myself to believe he gave a good fuck about modern-western gender roles and sexuality. he is older than them. by a lot. and he doesn’t even care about the earth realm that much, his whole thing is that he wants to rule edom, so i’m not even sure if he knows about them beyond the, like, very very basics. maybe not even that. so during the rest of magnus’ formative years, and probably the time he figured out what exactly his sexuality was anyway, he was in a pretty open environment when it came to that.

so with that we’ve reached the first conclusion of this huge-ass essay that you probably didn’t sign up for: up until he went to England, Magnus was probably pretty comfortable when it came to his sexuality. like, shit, he was fucked up about everything else, but this one thing i can’t see him internalising a lot of.

i’m gonna fast forward the asmodeus years because i don’t have a lot to say beyond that and also i have no fucking clue what the fuck was going on during that time????????? like it ended when magnus banished him to edom, so i can only assume they were on the earth realm the whole time, but what exactly were they doing???? no clue. i am gonna say, tho, that i think one of the reasons why magnus managed to break out of asmodeus’ shitty “be evil” conditioning is precisely because he had been on the other side before?? like obviously magnus must have been an extremely compassionate kid (which again makes absolute sense in the context of him being part of an oppressed people that were trying their hardest to fight together. you learn a few things about community-building and taking care of others in that context, lemme tell you) since he was out there blaming himself for his mom’s death and also for killing his literal piece of shit stepfather who also tried to kill him as well, but i think it’s just that much harder to help your dad commit mass murder when you’ve been on the receiving end of it. obviously he was probably around asmodeus for a while (i’m thinking until he was like, 18? you know, enough to be an adult), especially considering how he needed the help to learn how to master his magic and also he had nowhere else to go, and also asmodeus was all over the place with “they will always think you’re an abomination, i’m the only one who understands you” and he had eyes like him and all. but still. he knew that he didn’t want that, he knew that he liked earth and didn’t like edom at all and he knew that in order to be himself he’d need to get rid of asmodeus. so he did.

anyway, after the First Great Yeeting Of Asmodeus (second yeeting was when he sent him to limbo so he would never be able to come back. ugh we stan) Magnus went to England. I’m guessing that somehow he met other warlocks during his time with asmodeus (which actually makes sense, i mean, asmodeus must have been wanting ppl to join forces with so he could defeat lilith? or something like that idk they never said anything about what they were doing with their time magnus’ backstory’s got more holes than a swiss cheese) and there seems to be a pretty tight warlock community, so maybe he went to wherever it is that the warlocks meet to gossip and shit? trying to find somewhere else where he belonged. and there he met Ragnor, who helped him break out of his shell and find who he was beyond the constant abuse and the deeply ingrained idea that he was Born To Be Evil.

so for a while, magnus was learning who he was, and again the Warlock Community should be pretty open with gender and sexuality considering most of them are also older than western binary bullshit and also come from different, non-european backgrounds. it was probably at this point that he started going around, having relationships, looking for someone who loves him and somewhere to belong in, you know. haha im fine and soon he figured out that he wanted to find out more about the world. magnus is a curious and creative guy, he’s going around inventing portals and shit, he wants to see the world. so magnus goes to the mundane world. it makes sense, considering in most of his pics he seems to be in mundane settings, and there were no accords at that time. also i mean even post-accords magnus is still going around owning clubs where mundanes can get in so i think he’s quite fond of mundanes.

and that’s when shit comes crashing down, because “sodomy” was punishable by death in England until the 1960s and like boy these guys were not into the whole free sexuality thing. at all. i tend to think magnus would go looking for sex and stuff in downworlder and warlock spaces, where there was a lot more freedom and nobody gave a shit, but he was going around meeting people, and he’s vulnerable and he wants to be loved and he’s definitely been in relationships with mundanes. he knows he needs to hide it, but it doesn’t mean he’s uncomfortable with it. so he might get the occasional insult and he knows he needs to be careful, but this is one aspect of himself he’s actually okay with

but like, he’s spent centuries doing that, eventually shit would go down. and it does. i firmly believe that one of his lovers got caught and got the death penalty. magnus managed to escape but couldn’t save him, and i mean, that’s at least the third time he’s blaming himself for someone’s death. immortality is tiring, and he doesn’t feel like he belongs anywhere. there’s the shadow world, but even there he’s being looked down on because the shadowhunters are racist assholes. he’s got his friends, sure, but he’s never really felt worthy of any love, or like he belonged anywhere, and he’s been through so much abuse and being used and everything he touches seems to go to shit and he’s tired. and he’s killed someone he loved. again. so he goes to the bridge. and camille finds him, and stops him.

now, i don’t know if that’s how they’ve met of if it’s happened before, something like, seeing each other in parties and in downworlder spaces or something. but either way, he’s at a really low point, and that’s the first meaningful interaction they have - camille saves his life. he feels like she cares.

she’s not the only one who cares, obviously. so does ragnor, so does cat, so does dot and lots of other of his friends. but at this point, he’s feeling so empty it’s hard to believe that they care, and camille is all too quick to figure out his exact weaknesses - she’s there to listen to him when he wants to kill himself, i can only imagine the infodump that went on that night. he gives her all she needs to know - his fear of abandonment, his desire to be loved, his belief that he will never be accepted no matter what, his fear that he really is evil inside after all despite everything proving that he isn’t - to use against him perfectly. camille is smart. she’s also manipulative. and she also seems like a ticket into a somewhat normal world - she’s a woman, she’s immortal, she’s acting all sweet around him and telling him that she understands, that this is why she doesn’t mingle with mundanes, that it’s better if they’re just amongst themselves, that people like them can’t trust too much and need to stick together. slowly, she plants into him the idea that he’s gullible, has a weak judgement, and is just weak in general for going around thinking he could ever have a thing with mortals or could ever find a space to belong. she uses that to drive him away from his friends and make sure he does as she says. also, magnus owes her, doesn’t he? she saved his life. how can he fight her, when she saved his life? how can he say no to her? how can he disagree? he’s gullible, he’s weak, and she’s the only one who has enough patience for him. everyone else leaves. she’s all he has.

in conclusion: his sexuality is a huge factor in camille’s abuse, it’s what makes him vulnerable to her and gives her every tool she needs to manipulate him. it’s not direct, she’s not about to make fun or dismiss his bisexuality because she knows this is not something he’s internalised, but she can weaponize the trauma that queerphobia brings to his life, and so she does.

she wrecks him. like really really wrecks him, everything he’s built for himself, his identity, whatever he had of his confidence. like he was still trying to build all of that, but he was getting there, and she gets him back to ground 0 just like that. i think he only broke up with her because she started doing her more Clearly Immoral shit and magnus can’t do that. say what you want, but magnus’ actual nature has always been to care and to give all that he can for others. and camille is just evil mcbad. and her abuse goes a long way, but i don’t think anything could actually break magnus enough to be okay with hurting others. especially considering how most of his trauma seems to revolve around the fact that he believes he is constantly hurting others, and it seems to me - considering how he’s going all around the place helping everyone and sacrificing himself without a second thought - that helping others is even a way to cope somewhat, he doesn’t focus on himself, he does his job and helps others and doesn’t think about himself and so he copes, he can do what he’s good at and also believe he’s somehow “repenting” for “killing” his mother and stepfather (it was SELF FUCKING DEFENSE he didn’t murder him, but he does seem to believe he did). so that’s probably when they break up, when he realises that camille is just. keen on hurting others and she’s bored with him and his morals anyway. i know that in book canon apparently the reason they broke up was that she cheated on him, but again i don’t consider book canon and show canon to be the same canon, specially considering how magnus is a wildly different character in those. so i don’t think that would somehow be the last straw for him. camille probably was cheating on him left and right but he probably just believed that it was his fault, or just kept forgiving her anyway because he had nowhere to go and it should be enough that she loves him and saved him, right?

he doesn’t really get around to realising that camille is a straight-up abuser and awful person (as shown by the fact that he seems to still internalise the whole “camille saved my life” bullshit when she was really just manipulating him and using his vulnerability against him) but he does realise that he can’t keep looking for a partner as a solution to his issues. he also doesn’t really want to be in a relationship after her, not when he’s broken in more pieces than he was when he left asmodeus, and that was a lot of pieces as well. so he sleeps around and all, crafts this whole playboy persona of his, and locks his heart away. dedicates himself to the downworlder children he keeps adopting and trying to help, reconnects with ragnor and the other warlocks - who kind of knew what was going on and never blamed him for it or for growing distant with them because they’re amazing and probably have seen this happen many times before.

he also carefully avoids mundane men. he’s not risking getting anyone else hurt.

but then there’s the 60s and 70s, and he’s in bloody new york, and the queer community is shaping itself, and goddamn, after all the hurt and pain he’s seen due to sexuality, he’s not gonna ignore this. also, his Adopting Instincts are way too strong anyway, he can’t really see people struggling and not do anything. so he supports queer spaces, probably made pandemonium one, too - a particularly safe queer space, since she could use his wards to keep police out of his business and ensure everyone’s safety. he definitely was there at stonewall and subsequent protests and parades, keeping people safe, weakening gas bombs and the like with magic, making sure they managed to escape jail.

magnus’ relationship with the mundane queer community is kind of weird, then - he’s not an actual part of it, not really, and he’s particularly scared of getting attached then, so he guards his heart with even more determination than everywhere else. but he still wants to help, so he brings in his money, tries to keep them safe, participates in some community activities and volunteers, and occasionally talks to some kids who were just kicked out of home or something, who are dealing with self-loathing and fear, and even though he hasn’t gone through the whole “my sexuality is unnatural” thing or particularly hated that aspect of himself, he does know what it’s like to be cast away and seen as a monster, and to see himself as uncapable of being loved. so he listens and he talks about his experiences and tries to help as much as he can, and for the most part, he’s successful and he feels kind of accomplished in that sense. he might never have hated himself for his sexuality, but this is the first time he is fully able to bring it into his mundane life. and it also helps him deal with and talk about his other issues, even if he can’t be 100% frank about being an immortal being who does magic and shit, he can connect to these people in a lot of ways, and he also has his own scars brought in by homophobia even if they weren’t internalised in the same way. also, there are names popping up for what people are, homosexuality is being decriminalised all over the world (even in england, he’s heard), things are starting to look up.

as the 80s come up, he knows that a lot of things are changing - that white gay guys are getting more and more space, that the word “bisexual” is being popularised, but also that the reason for that is that a lot of gays and lesbians are trying to get bi ppl out of some spaces, that there’s a division going on between people who want to be seen as palatable and are willing to step over others to get it, and people who refuse to blend into an oppressive society, or just can’t, because they’re trans, they’re people of color, they’re sex workers and homeless and they can never be really assimilated when, even if they’re not getting the death penalty, they’re still getting killed and framed as criminals for existing.

magnus is a person of color as well, he’s bisexual (meaning one of the groups that were being cast away and despised by the white, “clean” gay movement) and he’s been there since the beginning, where these exact people that are being driven away were the only ones building the queer movement, so i think it’s pretty obvious who he “sided” with. not much changed in that aspect, then, since the spaces of queer resistance he was used to were the ones created by the “outcasts”. it was disappointing to see a movement that seemed so amazing at first get slowly gentrified and push the most vulnerable people away again, but at this point, he was used to seeing the divide, to drawing the short end, and at least he could continue as he was and try and help people, right? so life was good as a whole.

then the AIDS crisis happened, and shit that was SO rough. people were dying left and right, they had nowhere to go and there was so little he could do. of course he tried his best - pandemonium, like many other similar clubs, was definitely raising money to help the victims, and he was definitely volunteering to help them, along with catarina (who’s better at healing than he is, anyway), but even healing magic isn’t as simple as “begone, disease” and this was a completely new thing, anyway. there was little they could do beyond try and lessen the pain and symptoms and spend countless nights awake doing research and trying to figure out what exactly was causing this and what they could do to help and try to cure it. it’s endlessly frustrating and he gets to see a lot of people he knew, and talked to, and helped, die slowly while he was unable to do much, and shit is that a theme on his life. he also blames himself for not being able to work out a cure - what good is fucking magic if he can’t do this? - even if he and cat do figure out ways to help, at least. but they’re just two people and creating spells isn’t easy and it’s not like their patients have a lot of time, and also he needs to sleep, as cat and dot keep reminding him. the mundanes beat him to it, and for a while he can breathe again. but then there has been so much loss and death the community is in shambles and they’ve been set back one hell of a lot, and magnus is so tired. his friends help him, reassure him that it’s not his fault, and he’s okay, because he’s stronger now, he’s been getting better during all these years and a part of him is used to it - it never hurts less, but it does get easier to push through.

and then, well, there’s the whole war against valentine thing, and then the accords, so i think for a while magnus was kind of not very involved with the mundane world, and also this is already WAY to long to get into the 2000s and shit, but i will finish by saying that maybe after a few years magnus might get somewhat involved with the community again, because i just. really like the idea of magnus joining some kind of group of bisexual men and learning that SO MANY of them have gone through abusive experiences with straight girls that are scarily similar to his experience with camille, considering, you know, all the other layers involved and the fact that it happened centuries ago. and it kind of works as group therapy, and magnus finally realises that what he went through with camille was abuse, and that he’s not alone, and that queerphobia made him vulnerable, and that the fact that he is part of so many minorities can mean that, rather than not belonging anywhere, he belongs in many places and many different spaces, and he’s helped so many people in so many different ways. and then he finds out that there are other warlocks who are working as therapists and in there he can talk about his immortality issues and, well, other issues and he starts healing faster than before - he’s been healing ever since the breakup with camille, of course, otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to open up to alec. like, of course, alec and him are soulmates and shit, but if he wasn’t in a better place he wouldn’t have allowed himself to fall for him like he did. and. yeah. magnus doing therapy and getting better and finding groups where he feels like he belongs, and realising camille was an abuser, please.

#ask #cosmicnovia #luxxmagnus #sh #shadowhunters #meta #magnus bane #magnus bane meta #history tag #queer history #sh meta #overflowing trashcan

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bloomtech · 4 years

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( Alberto Rosende + NB Man + He/They ) isn’t that Carlos Tavor over there singing? they’ve been in bloom for one year and I didn’t know they did that. somehow i know they’re a twenty-six-year-old stage tech. i’m pretty sure they’re bi with a strong preference for men and i heard they’re into hair pulling + oral fixation they’re staying at bloom court so maybe you stand a chance. ♡ penned by Terry & pacific & he/they/it

mic.off: Hey!! My name is Terry and I’ll be penning for Carlos and another baby ( hopefully ) sdlfkj I haven’t been in a group RP in a while and I'm very excited. I'm twenty-five and I’m an nb trans man as well as being gay sdljkf Carlos is a new muse that I have yet to write for so bare with me if he’s not totally realized. Here’s some info about him! Apologies I’m not the BEST at writing bios. There are two people mentioned in his bio Iris and Iris’ ex-boyfriend, both id’ totally love to see realized here in wanted connections if anybody is at all interested.

Name: Carlos Alvaro Tavor

Age: Twenty six

Sexuality: Bi with a heavy preference for men, he’s not at all opposed to being with a woman and is attracted to them it’s just basically easier for a man/male aligned person to get in bed with him or have a flirty romantic relationship than for a binary woman

Gender: NB man, he’s amab but like what the fuck is gender anyway?

Family and friends: Carlos has four sisters, one mother, three best friends back home and little to no friends at bloom. He tends to focus all his energy and attention into his job so even if you know him, he’s only been there about a year so it’s likely he won’t consider anyone a friend yet. His father passed away in an incident he doesn’t wish to discuss.

Sexually: Carlos is a verse, he tends to prefer being the submissive one but most definitely enjoys dominating the situation as well. Top or bottom is fine real men get pegged and he has an oral fixation and loves giving head to his partners regardless of what they have going on. He’s kinda into dirty talk but if you try and get him to speak Spanish during sex he’s just gonna fuckin leave lskjdhfjsdfg he has no patience for that Latin lover bullshit

Bio: Carlos was born the youngest of five children and the first and only boy of his parents. His father died when he was about two years old and only he, his family and his best friend Iris really know all the details, he really clams up when asked about it.

When he was four he met Iris, an Irish girl who would later turn out to be his very best friend.

They were inseparable and saw each other through so many hardships, their families even becoming very close and Iris’ father and Carlos’ mother even grew closer as well.

Carlos lived a pretty basic childhood if you asked hi. He picked up music from a very young age as a way to stay connected to his Cuban roots, learning the guitar, piano and how to sing. He could never get lessons because his mother was working three jobs to support five children ( his two oldest sisters also had part-time jobs while attending high school ) so he would never even consider asking. He considered it a blessing when he got his acoustic for his fourteenth birthday, crying when his mom told him she’d been saving up for it since he was ten and she saw him dancing around the living room strumming an air guitar to some of his favorite songs. He hugged his mom and promised to keep it safe and loved ( which he has, he still owns it to this day though it’s age is beginning to show a bit he’s never let any harm come to it )

When he entered high school is when things got, complicated. He was still a pretty average guy, he loved comics and videogames and anime, he joined band and theater as a stage tech. There he found his other calling, production. Turns out he was just as comfortable behind the stage as he was on it and was a natural leader with keeping things in check and order. Freshman year was also a big change for him because of Iris’ boyfriend, and not ... why you’d think. Or maybe exactly why you’d think cause he’s a giant gay cliche. He ended up being very attracted to the tall, intimidating heterochromatic jock.

which was, scary. like really really scary because he felt he’d never really been THAT into guys before. Sure he’d thought guys were hot but .. so do most guys right? Yeah no. Throughout his freshman year, Carlos quickly realized he was more in the middle of the Kinsey scale, finding attraction in men, women and pretty much everyone he met depending on the person. Iris supported him fully in this discovery, though never knowing about his massive crush on her then-boyfriend, and even helped him understand his gender confusion and pick up the non-binary label and they pronouns.

Which, is why come junior year when Iris is doubting her own sexuality, Carlos had her back and helped her come to realize she was, in fact, a lesbian. Her at the time boyfriend was surprisingly perfectly okay and supportive and stayed close friends with them both which just made Carlos fall even more smitten with the stupid sexy het jock goddamnit.

Enough about his highschool pining drama, Carlos graduated with honors and worked his ass off to get a full-ride scholarship to a moderately known performing arts school where he honed his skills both behind and on the stage as a performer for years. Graduating with a degree in music production with a minor in stage management.

With the support of two of his best friends he launched himself into the world and was, immediately exhausted and sad. Playing bar after underpaying bar, working low pay low appreciation stage tech and management jobs he was almost ready to quit the music industry entirely were it not for his sisters and Iris especially. Eventually, Iris ex saw an advertisement saying bloomfest was looking for new stage crew and tried to convince Carlos to go saying this would be good for him and help him find a place where his talent and craft are truly appreciated.

After talking it over with Iris, his mom, his sisters he found they all agreed and said he should go so, taking a chance his basic ass never thought he would he packed up his bags and moved to bloomfest as a permanent resident and employee. While he hasn’t been there long he’s made a name for himself as a reliable tech who will go above and beyond to get what you need and get it done even if he’s a bit grumpy about it. While his official job is dealing with stage tech, he spreads himself wherever he is needed in bloomfest and can often be found doing many odd jobs around in bizarre places. It’s just the kind of person he is. Helpful to a fault.

Personality: He’s a bit grumpy seeming when you first meet him, but that’s just because of how little sleep the idiot gets. He’s actually an absolute puppy if you don’t upset him. Loyal to a fault, eager to please and always willing to make friends if it’s not getting in the way of his work. He’s a bit more, bitter towards musicians at Bloom fest simply because he’s jealous, and a bit sick of catering to the needs of over specific spoiled musicians and recieving no credit for his hard work or even a thank you. Don’t take it personal, if you have a good additude he’s likely to warm up fast. He’s always down to play flirt or real flirt really, he’s a fuckign flirt of flirts nobody is safe ( unless they say like hey im uncomfortable don’t do that then of course he’d stop but you get the idea ) He’s got a passion for music and creative arts, and a special love for comics, videogames and anime. Due to his oral fixation you’ll often see him with hard candy or gum or his batman shaped chewey necklace! He’s also FIERCELY protective of women so watch out for that cause he can and will punch you.

Strengths: Loyal, skilled, charming, kind, creative, hard working.

Weaknesses: Too trusting, quick to solving things on his own without thinking, stretches himself too thin, kinda snippy at times, closed off to really falling in love due to emotional traumas from his past,

#bloom.intro #bloomselfie #holy frikoli this is the most iv'e written about a character in a while #mic.off

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cromulentbookreview · 4 years

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Werewolves of Florida

I saw a werewolf with a parrilla menu in his hand /

Walking through the streets of Miami in the rain /

He was looking for a place called Novecento /

Gonna get a big dish of entraña /

Aaoooooo /

Werewolves of Florida /

Aaoooooo /

Sorry.

(I’m not sorry. Aaooooooo!)

And by that, I mean: Lobizona by Romina Garber!

Well, if you’d expect werewolves to show up in America, where else but Florida?

Ha. Florida. The butt of so many jokes. It’s easy to make fun of Florida (fun, too!), so as a lifelong resident of the Pacific Northwest...I’m going to continue making fun of Florida, a state I’ve never been to and will likely never visit as I have no intention of being eaten by a gator or a python or a python gator or whatever insane creatures live down there.

I kid, I’m sure there are places in Florida that are perfectly lovely. They just happen to coexist with the insanity that is the rest of Florida.

Anyway! Werewolves in Florida! It sounds possible. Seriously, could you imagine the headlines? “Florida werewolf brings drugs to a drug bust, gets himself busted”? “Florida werewolf charged with assault with deadly weapon after throwing alligator through Wendy’s drive-thru window”?

In this case, however, there aren’t just werewolves in Florida, but Brujas as well! Both sound like people you would find in Florida. “Florida Bruja drops pants, licks man, dances naked in Waffle House parking lot”?

Where was I? Oh. Yes. Lobizona by Romina Garber!

Seventeen-year-old Manuela Azul (she goes by Manu) and her mother, Soledad, have been living in Miami illegally for most of Manu’s life. Manu has a strange eye condition, in which her pupils and irises look like stars so she has to wear sunglasses 24/7 to avoid freaking other people out. Though I’m certain if she walked into an optometrist’s convention with eyes like those she’d immediately be the most popular girl in the whole room, but since she and her mom are in the country illegally, that sort of attention would be very, very bad.

Soledad had to flee Argentina because Manu’s father, Fierro, was supposedly high up with some bad people who disapproved with his relationship with Soledad. So much so that they killed him, sending Soledad into hiding. If they knew Soledad was alive, and that Manu even existed, Fierro’s people would kill them both.

And, as if hiding from Fierro’s people were bad enough, Manu and Soledad are on a constant lookout for ICE. If their apartment building is raided by ICE, they could be deported, back to Argentina where they’d be sitting ducks for Fierro’s murderous family and friends. So Manu has lived a sheltered life within a tiny apartment with her mom and their elderly friend Perla, who has sheltered them for years.

And! As if being an undocumented immigrant with freaky-eye syndrome forever anxious that the next car might be full of ICE agents while stuck in a tiny apartment was bad enough, Manu also - also! - suffers from horrible periods. Joy. Every month, her mom gives her a special pill that puts her to sleep for three straight days just so she sleep through the pain. That’s shit makes PCOS sound like a walk in the park. (Note: do not go for a walk in the park right now and if you do remain 6 feet away from everyone else at all times). Also, where can I get a hold of a drug that can let me sleep through my period? I like the sound of that.

So Manu has spent much of her life dreaming of escape and a life without fear. Currently, her only hope is the knowledge that her mom is doing her best to get them both legal status. Then one day, Manu notices some strange people hanging around her apartment building. Then Perla is attacked and hospitalized. In a panic, Manu rushes off to find her mom...only to find that Soledad has been lying to her for quite some time. Soledad isn’t a maid for some rich lady - she works at an underground Miami clinic. And she never intended to apply for legal status for her and Manu.

Just as she’s reeling from this revelation, ICE raids the underground clinic. From here, the story takes a weird left-turn. On the run, Manu leaps into the back of a truck, and, after a long ride that sounded way more comfortable than a long ride in the bed of a truck should sound (seriously, there’s no jostling, no being flung about, no wind burn...I get that Florida is pretty flat, but aren’t there potholes? Rocks? Also, isn’t it illegal for someone to ride in the bed of a truck? How did no one else not see her and call the cops?) she ends up deep within the Florida Everglades. After somehow hopping out of the guy’s truck without him noticing that she was ever in there (again, how??? I drive a truck and would absolutely notice if someone were hitching a ride back there. Hey, how come I’m fishtailing significantly less than I usually do? Oh, wait, there’s a human back there) Manu stumbles upon...

A secret school for brujas and werewolves. In the Florida Everglades. And she meets people her age who have eyes just like hers. Suddenly, the puzzle pieces start fitting together - her father must have been a part of this society, not some criminal organization. Manu is half magic. She’s living the ultimate Harry Potter dream! And, somehow, without paying tuition or applying, Manu is allowed to join the school. Finaly, Manu has somewhere that she belongs, and even begins to make friends. She even starts making eyes at a hunky werewolf named Tiago.

There’s just one problem, though. The society that Manu has found herself in has some pretty strict gender roles. Girls are brujas, guys are werewolves. Period, end of sentence. But, even though she definitely belongs among this magical society, Manu doesn’t really have the powers of a bruja. She’s something else.

And there is one thing her mom wasn’t lying about - Fierro’s people are still pissed. Brujas and werewolves are not supposed to have relationships with humans. It’s forbidden. Like, really forbidden. Ultra forbidden. If Manu is found to be half-human, she’ll be killed.

So Manu has traded living forever in fear being an undocumented immigrant in America...for living forever in fear being half-human in a world of magical creatures who think hybrids are evil.

Good luck with that, Manu! Also, there’s still the question of the whereabouts of her still missing father. Is he dead? Alive? And what is Manu, if she’s not a bruja?

(If you speak Spanish, the title is a dead giveaway. Let me give you a hint: Manu’s hair is perfect. Aaooooo!)

Despite a couple of hiccups in the beginning - the book starts pretty slow before taking that weird left-turn into the Everglades and Bruja Werewolf academy. And, as is typical in the first book of a series, much time is spent establishing everything, and less on giving us closure or answers to the big questions. Like, for example, the fate of Mimitos. See, Manu has one friend in the apartment complex, an adorable cat named Mimitos. Mimitos’s owner is a bit senile, so Manu takes care of him...only after Manu flees after Perla is attacked, Mimitos disappears and is promptly never mentioned again. What happened to Mimitos? Is he OK? Is someone feeding him or giving him water and pets and cuddles and WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MIMITOS, ROMINA?!!?! I demand answers.

Maybe he went off to live in the Cat Kingdom from The Cat Returns? Maybe? Probably? Hopefully?

Ahem. Well, my ability to render a serious and well-thought out book review in the time of COVID-19 has gone to shit, so I’ll be brief. Lobizona is gorgeously written and a fascinating blend of YA contemporary and YA fantasy. I also love the warring gender dynamics within the magical society of brujas and werewolves - not everyone loves the strict binary, or the fact that they’re not allowed to hang out with humans. Ultimately, Lobizona is a brilliant story of a girl looking desperately for a place to belong within not just one, but two worlds that don’t want her - that have deemed her wrong. Illegal. And Manu is tired of that bullshit. If the human and magical worlds don’t want her, damn it, she’s going to go off and find a place that does.

Go forth and kick ass, Manu!

Another aspect of the book that I really liked (your mileage may vary, depending on how big of a language nerd you are) is how Garber discussed how there are many different dialects of Spanish. Argentinian Spanish apparently has a sing-song quality which makes me wonder if the English dialect equivalent of Argentinian Spanish would be Upper Midwest English, you know, like in Fargo. The Upper Midwest was settled heavily by Scandinavian immigrants and the Scandinavian languages do have a sing-song quality to them, then, well...

I'd love to know more about the different dialects of Spanish. If only I'd learned Spanish. I didn’t. I learned German, Schwachkopf that I am.

Which brings me to my rant, because I do love to rant. This does have something to do with Lobizona. Kind of. Anyway:

One of my biggest pet peeves in fiction is untranslated dialog. For some reason it really irks me, mostly because it reminds me of how dumb I am and how I should have learned more than just one other foreign language. I mean, seriously, I should have learned Spanish. I never did because I was that contrary moron who, upon seeing that everyone else was taking Spanish said, “screw you, I’ll take German!” Ultimately a bad idea, but, hey, Deutsch ist eine Wunderschöne Sprache. I don’t mind bits of untranslated stuff, so long as there are context clues as to what they might be saying.

I also find it annoying to have a sentence in a different language, and then have the sentence immediately after translate the preceding sentence. For readers that are fluent in both languages, you just made them read the same sentence twice, unless there’s a bilingual bonus in there. For readers out there who don’t speak that language, their eyes just glaze over and they skip the dialog entirely, in favor of the translation. Why not just say they were speaking in [insert foreign language here] then continue on?

I mean, I get wanting to show off your foreign language skills, or make the reader feel good about their language skills, or give a nod to fellow native speakers who also have had to master the cluster fuck of a language that is English (seriously, one of the best descriptions of the English language I’ve read is that English is basically three children in a trench coat pretending to be an adult, but as a language). Still, I find untranslated dialog super annoying. Because I dumb.

The worst example of this that I’ve ever encountered (and probably what soured me for any other instances of untranslated dialog ever in the future) was in this terrible translation of Thomas Mann’s The Magic Mountain that I read in college - you’d think an English translation of a German book would be entirely in English...yeah no, 3/4 of the way in, I found myself facing pages - multiple pages! - of untranslated....French.

French!

In a book that had already been translated from the German.

Damn it, translator, was there some sort of contract dispute in which you said, “well, they’re paying me to translate the book from German to English, so I’ll just leave these several pages of French conversation untranslated.”

Rrraaaage.

I was already frustrated with that book (it’s not great) but slogging through several pages of untranslated French with zero footnotes or even a translation provided in the afterward made me want to set the book on fire.

What does this have to do with Lobizona? Very little, except there are a few instances of untranslated dialog that, even if you speak zero Spanish, you’ll be able to figure out pretty quick. It just gave me awful Zauberberg flashbacks that brought back all that rrrrrage.

Fuck it, guys, we’re in the middle of a pandemic, and I promise cromulent reviews, not good ones.

RECOMMENDED FOR: Anyone looking for an amazing blend of YA contemporary lit and fantasy that features kickass werewolves living in the Florida Everglades.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Bigots, assholes, people who use the word “illegals” to refer to other human beings, werewolves who hate brujas, brujas who hate werewolves, non YA fantasy fans, anyone who objects to YA fiction containing actual real world problems.

RATING:4/5

RELEASE DATE: May 5, 2020

WEREWOLF RATING:

HOW TERRIFIED I AM OF COVID-19 RIGHT NOW:

Ahahahahaha I’m scared you guys. I still have to commute via public transportation to work downtown in a major city.

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vaguemistermissus-blog · 4 years

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South Park’s ‘Board Girls’: Is it Transphobic?

So . . . . South Park.

What can be said about it that hasn't already been said? It built it's legacy on being irreverent, unapologetically crass, unbelievably disgusting . . . but most shockingly of all it uses all of those things to create some actually sobering commentary on America's current political climate. Being the type of show that it is where a single 20 minute episode can be created literally within days, South Park has always had a unique edge on television in that it has ALWAYS been topical and talked about the latest news while it was still . . . y'know . . . news? Unlike shows such as The Simpsons or Family Guy who's format naturally means that they would comment on trends and news MONTHS after nobody cared anymore, so it showing up on those shows truly meant that the “meme was dead”.

But another unique quality south park has always maintained is that it can depict political opinions so nuanced, so grey in nature, that everyone who watches it thinks that South Park sides with THEM. And when they can't reasonably rationalize why South Park didn't target them in this weeks episode . . . all of a sudden they want to boycott it because it has “always been bigoted”.

The episode “Board Girls” is no exception. When I saw the episode pop up on Twitter because journalist sites and popular twitter users were bashing it for it's subject matter, all I could think was “People don't like what Parker and Stone had to say? What else is new?”. I pretty much gathered that people would get their fill in voicing their outrage for this episode but then would move on to the next thing the week after. But this case genuinely fascinated me. I don't know why, but hearing about this made me curious for myself to see if this episode was as bad as everyone was saying. Could the episode “Board Girls” really be ripping into Transgendered people as much as they say it is? Well, I decided to watch the episode and come to my own conclusion. Before I go into it though, here's a synopsis of the episode's plot.

Strong Woman, PC Principal's female partner, eagerly attends a women's athletic competition and is a good sport to all of the other women participating in the event. That is, until a Transgender woman, who bears a striking resemblance to the late WWE wrestler Randy Savage, sweeps the competition with her naturally higher athletic prowess. This causes Strong Woman and PC Principal to go into a dilemma about how this makes them feel. On one hand, they've always been strong advocates about supporting transgender people and they want to be good sports when it comes to allowing the transgender athlete to participate. But on the other hand, Strong Woman can't help but feel cheated because she has to bare the loss against somebody for whom she would always have some natural disadvantage against, and it doesn't help that said Transgender athlete is extremely cocky and meanspirited towards her competitors while preaching about the merits of being a strong woman. While this is going on, Cartman and the rest of the boys are hosting a board game club at their school that was initially exclusively boys up until some girls wanted to join. Cartman initially makes up some bullshit excuses for why they can't join in, but the girls prove their prowess in board games and demonstrate that they aren't naturally worse at it just because they are girls. So Cartman and the boys go to some excessive lengths in a shallow attempt to prevent them from playing.

So just based on that plot synopsis, one thing immediately becomes evident; the two main stories of this episode juxtapose each other. On one side you have competitors wanting to be inclusive in an environment where some exclusion is necessary for the sake of making the game fair and on the other side you have competitors wanting to maintain closed doors in spite of the fact that they engage in an activity where ANYONE can pick up and play. On one side you have an event where sex has no bearing on the outcome of the games whatsoever and on the other side you have an event where it undeniably DOES have some bearing. It's the whole reason why women's sporting events as a separation from men's sporting events exist to begin with. When it comes to athletic capabilities, the bodies natural level of testosterone against estrogen DOES make a substantial difference. Men have larger hearts and larger skeletal muscles. They are less prone to injuries in the joints such as the knees and shoulders. Women have more body fat whereas men have a higher production of red blood cells. That isn't opinion. That's biology. It's quantifiable, measurable and demonstrable.

But with that said, here is something else that is undeniable. Everyone has the civil right to identify as whatever they are. Gender is not binary. It is a spectrum. Everyone should have their preferred pronouns respected and everyone should be able to enjoy the freedom of being seen however they want to be seen. Gender is a superficial social construct that we shouldn't feel obliged to adhere to. But just because Gender is superficial doesn't mean the differences in our bodies chemistry are. That's what the difference between sex and gender is. Sex is anatomical but gender is social, and it's sex NOT gender that is the reason we have a male and female league in sporting events. Otherwise you might as well not have these events separated at all.

I understand that this is a difficult point to grasp because in the modern age people want more than anything to be fair. They don't want to be exclusionary just because of identity but they also want to make sure the playing field is even. But what happens when those two concepts are at odds with each other? What happens is that people are forced to form a more nuanced take than just “either this or this”. That is exactly what happens to PC Principal. PC Principal is a character known for being a cartoonish satire of people in the modern age who dedicate themselves to being more sensitive and tolerant to those who don't receive that attention enough, often times coming to odds with those who feel no obligation to do so. But for the first time ever, PC Principal is put into a position where the RIGHT thing to do isn't necessarily the PC thing to do. He sees his partner being disrespected against an athlete who is participating in an event where she knows she has a natural advantage against her competitors, and of COURSE he wants to step up to defend his partner's honour because she's been put into a box where doing so for herself will make her transphobic (or if nothing else appear to be). Despite the transgender athlete's accusations, PC Principal isn't out to get any transgender people. He just wants to stop a bully from harassing someone he cares about. But doing so makes him question his own morality. He thinks of himself as a hypocrite who went against his own values on public television. But honestly . . . he just said what everyone else was thinking. It's actually kind of nice to see this deliberately one dimensional character take an unexpected stance for a change. He learns that sometimes doing the right thing DOES mean saying something that nobody wants to hear.

There's no getting around it. In the context of this episode's narrative, the transgender athlete is a bully. A bully who hijacks progressive ideals as an excuse to invalidate other people under a thin veil of seeming more progressive. But luckily she's defeated by the girls at school who take her on in a field where biological differences truly don't matter . . .board games. Through this exercise they knock this egotist down a few pegs. Personally, I think the inclusion of this side story was a smart move on Parker and Stone's part because it makes for a necessary caveat that inclusion of all people CAN happen under certain circumstances. The point isn't to be exclusionary every time, the point is to accept the undeniable truth about our differences in capability whenever it's necessary to do so. It's also poignant that Cartman sides with the transgender athlete, because they are essentially the same asshole on different sides of the spectrum. They both want to rig the game so that they can win every time, and that's NEVER fair no matter how you slice it.

So with all that in mind, do I think the new South Park episode is transphobic? Not really. I just think it's demonstrating an instance in which limits to what certain people can do are necessary, because otherwise the game becomes unfair to everyone else, and you shouldn't be penalized as something you're not just because you point this out. South Park has never been afraid of holding ANYTHING up to scrutiny, not even themselves, so it amazes me that even after all this time people are surprised that they can take stances like this.

As far as my own take on the issue goes, personally I think male and female leagues SHOULD be abolished in favor of leagues based on weight, height and muscle fibers. We measure the athletic prowess of every athlete separately and put them in weight classes anyway, so we might as well take that to the full extent and pit people against each other based solely on similar capability, not on sex or gender. That way the games are all inclusive AND objectively fair. Part of me wishes the boys at South Park touched upon this idea, but for what the episode is I think it's about as poignant as South Park ever is.

#south park #animation #comedy #equality #equal rights #sports

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tessatechaitea · 5 years

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Scarab #3

Every time I see a Glenn Fabry cover, I assume I'm about to read about Jesse Custer.

I also know the term "misdirection"! Look at all the titties!

I wanted to say I knew the word "legerdemain" because it's way fancier but it wasn't as specific as I wanted to be. But I still wrote the previous sentence where I say wanted to write a different sentence so that you know the thing I wanted you to be impressed by in the first place. Meanwhile, Eleanor is still flying around in the Net having profound Vertigo thoughts. If you're speculating, "I bet she thinks about her first kiss and the first time she got her period and her father's funeral and the rain on her wedding day," I'm aghast. How'd you know?! Fucking clever of you, mate. Two new characters are introduced: Sidney Sometimes and his sidekick (not named! I'm not even sure "Sidney Sometimes" is the other guy's name). They're Fortean dudes publishing a Fortean magazine. But this one is heavy on the sex and mutilation and probably drugs. Sidney's upset that his alien rape story has fallen through and now has to decide if he should run the Manson interview this month or next month alongside the DIY surgery issue. I'm sure these characters will fit into the story later but for now they just seem like a one page dumping ground of John Smith's story ideas.

Sure, every teeaboo knows what a Clanger is now. But back in 1993, American audiences wouldn't know what the fuck this was about.

Speaking of teeaboos, I've got a new idea for a streaming service: I'm the only customer and I'm paying a single British person to upload all the shows I want to watch on a private YouTube channel. Come on, somebody! I need a reliable source for full episodes of Taskmaster! Marty is the guy watching some Clangers. He's still bitter that all the men drowned themselves without him. Imagine having self-esteem that low that you're hurt and angry that nobody invited you to the mass suicide? I guess he could also be affected by magic but I'd rather think he's got the same kinds of problems that I do. I mean that we all have.

See? He's Everyman!

Scarab arrives in Whitehaven, the town without any men (except for me. I mean Marty). He realizes something bad is happening in Whitehaven because, um, women are running things, I guess? Maybe his subconscious is reacting to an article he forgot he read about how hundreds of dead and bloated men washed up on the shores of nearby towns for weeks. It doesn't seem like the kind of thing you'd forget too readily but remember Scarab was a super old guy for the first two issues. Or maybe Louis is just a Comicsgater at heart. He walks into a town full of women and thinks, "What the fuck is wrong with this comic book I'm in?! Where are all the men? Fucking pandering bullshit!" It's also possible he senses the magic monster at the center of this mystery. But that's not as much fun to speculate about. Louis meets Marty who tells him how every woman in town is now four months pregnant and how the matriarch of the town is living with a monster. He's going to take his shotgun and put things right. I don't know how a shotgun does that but then I'm not a fucking cuckoo nutso whackjob who thinks every problem can be solved with physical violence. Scarab probably thinks there's a better answer too. I don't mean to suggest he doesn't also think physical violence will be the answer. This is still a comic book, for fucks sake! He'll probably just concentrate the violence on the monster while I assume Marty is just planning on going around shooting pregnant women. It turns out the god Pan is fucking everybody in town. He also drove all the men into the sea. But for some reason, he couldn't figure out how to deal with Marty because how do you get a guy with a broken leg to kill himself? It's impossible! The only flaw in an otherwise perfect plan! Unless Marty wasn't driven to suicide because Marty is trans. It's possible because later that night when Marty goes to shoot Pan in the face, something entirely different happens instead.

Marty was definitely fucked by Pan (raped? Probably! But who knows what happens when you get a whiff of a lustful goat god?!). But what is he trying to show Louis? That he's suddenly pregnant? Or, with his pants open like that, has he lost his cock?

Scarab #3 Rating: C. I'm super confused by this ending. Is the art just not sufficient to portray what Marty is upset about? Is he simply upset that he's all beaten and bloody due to being raped by Pan? Is he holding his pants that way because they were torn off during the violence or because he's trying to show Louis his genital region? Or is he holding his pants that way to show that he's suddenly pregnant? It's possible because the art could be suggesting a swollen stomach. Rarely do I find the art failing me in a comic book to this degree. I suppose the writing is also failing but I only think that's because this final image was supposed to portray whatever the dialogue was leaving out. The good thing is that I don't have to be confused for a full month because I've got the next issue waiting for me in my stack! Corrections: It was brought to my attention that The Phantom Stranger has more than ten fans. Although no proof was provided other than that The Phantom Stranger has gotten published in more than its initial series. I'm not sure that's enough proof though because I've purchased a lot of comic books about characters I didn't give a shit about and by writers I actively hated. But I will grant that the person providing me with this information was also a fan of The Phantom Stranger. So in my previous commentary, I should have said The Phantom Stranger had eleven fans.

#Scarab #Vertigo #DC Comics #DC #John Smith #Scot Eaton

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ancient-depressed-druid · 6 years

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Tj Kippen Is A Proud Pansexual

A Thesis:

Now, I’m not a pansexual myself, so I won’t comment about how I identify on the character traits that remind me of/ reflect my own sexuality and life experiences. We have seen so little of the character to argue about that and have a definitive answer. Keeping it in mind, I rather list the reasons why I feel like Tj should be written as Pansexual. Before I start, this is my opinion, feel free to give yours but be respectful.

1 - RECOGNITION OF A LESS REPRESENTATED FACTION OF THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY AND VALIDATION OF SAID GROUP:

Most people don’t know what Pansexuality is, so imagine how much It would teach children/parents (because, let’s face it, most of us in tumblr are already deeply rooted inside the community) about LGBT+ people if a character, even if not a main one, would be to come out as pansexual. It would make it normal, serve to show it’s not an alien concept, nor should it be treated like one

2 - VALIDATION OF PANSEXUALS AS PANSEXUALS:

This could also apply to bisexuals if Jonah was to come out as one and dated a boy or a girl (obviously). It serves to show that a person’s sexuality does not depend on your partner. Tj dating Cyrus would show children attracted to two or more (or none) genders that it is okay to have different genders partners with different genders. Being with someone from the same gender does not make you gay, just not straight. Being with someone from the opposite sex does not erase your sexuality.

3 - NON-BINARY &TRANS KIDS:

With all that is happening at this moment, Trans and non-binary kids have zero to none prospect of being given basic human rights, even more a chance to be with someone in a relationship. Now, put yourselves in their place, watching Disney channel and suddenly being given the information that this young, rather successful, handsome and, sometimes, kind boy represents what could be your future significant other. Might sound little to some of you right now, but I assure you having a three-minute conversation in which Tj explains his sexuality and a little about, the difference between gender and genitalia could go extraordinary lengths.it also may make it relatively easier for a kid to accept themselves and a starting of conversations between a child and its parents.

4 – CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT A: TJ

A three-minute conversation between Tj and ANYONE (probably Cyrus, though) about his sexuality and him, being out and proud (though not loud) adds so much depth to the character:

He being supportive of other LGBT+ kids around school and helping them accept themselves

Him having a past of sexual awakening different from his classmates (14 years old do masturbate and there is nothing wrong with that).

The path of discovery, research and acceptance he walked just to be there.

Him not having that many friends finally being by some other than “he’s not that friendly” by him putting some distance between himself and the other boys in an attempt to not get hurt by panphobic people.

HIS HATRED OF BUFFY IN THE BEGINNING, she being a girl and clearly better than him making him feel afraid of bullying (“the girl plays better than the queer”) and lashing out in a way to keep buffy excluded and “prove his masculinity” in a way.

5- CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT B: CYRUS

Tj guiding Cyrus allows him to leave behind the comic relief persona and be active and self-loving. In addition, it gives the Cyrus plot intent, more than “gay kid finds gay kid and them not straight together”. IT BRINGS UP CONVERSATIONS. The difference between the Jandi and now Wuffy-Andi drama is that they don’t communicate like Tyrus, if one of them needs the other, they talk, if one of them misses the other, they talk, if one of them wants to talk, THEY TALK. Moreover, Cyrus could not bring up his sexual orientation most of the time out of fear of rejection, so imagine the conversation.

6 – HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP:

Cyrus and Tj being the gay/pan couple and still having one of the healthiest romantic interactions on the show (again, communication), repeatedly showing each other love, support, incentive and care will show other people relationships can work even if your partner has a different sexuality than yours.

7 - BEREAKING STEREOTYPES (STRAIGHT JOCK AND FEMININE QUEER):

First of all, not only pan people exist and can have healthy, loving relationships, they can have big roles in life, or smaller ones in school, for example of the captain of the boys’ basketball team. So jocks do not need to be straight.

Second, people can be as “masculine”/“feminine” as they feel like and sexuality is not a factor in it.

8- A FLAWED CHARACTER:

THIS ONE MAY GO AGAINST A LOT OF PEOPLE. I don’t really like how LGBT+ characters are mostly either portrayed as perfect sidekicks or as evil villains. Every character is human and humans have flaws. Tj, as a character, is great for representation because of his character development is remarkable. Though a certain sexuality gives one certain personal experiences, it is in no way an excuse to your actions or personality. It is also not a flaw, just to clarify, but it adds to the more vivid portrait of the character just as much as the flaws do.

It could show children it is okay to be like that, because the character’s humanization would bring him to a more acceptable view if it. He being that relatable instructs parents and children to think about their actions just as much. Moreover, it gives the idea you don’t have to be straight to be human.

Now ill review some of your probable questions

1-That means he looked back at Buffy.

No. they are not romantically involved in any way and shouldn’t be. Tyrus on the other hand proved repeatedly their cannon romantic feelings.

2- Wouldn’t Cyrus know he’s out?

Not really, they don’t hang out with the same crowd and seem to avoid talking about their “stuff” before being ready. Not only that, but people tend to assume things (“you think you know someone”). I think Tj sees how uncomfortable Cyrus is in his own skin and does not bring the subject of relationships and crushes up in fear Cyrus will become sad and talk about his lack out romantic qualities and anxiety.

3- BUT WE NEVER SEE TJ INTERACT WITH A GIRL OTHER THAN ANDI/BUFFY

SO…?

4- BUT HE LIKES CYRUS.

HELL YEAH HE DOES! Again, that does not erase pansexuality.

5- Disney would never do that.

I know and it makes me sad.

6- That is homophobic

With all my heart, I hope you change your mind and understand I am not here preaching Cyrus is straight or some bullshit, this is a valid headcannon until proven contrary. Feel free to disagree with my headcannon, but do not blasphemy it.

7- Its not cannon

This is tumblr 99, 9999999% of everything is not cannon.

#pansexual #pansexual tj #andi mack #tyrus #tyrus andi mack #tj kippen

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writsgrimmyblog · 7 years

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I’ve been thinking a lot about Harry related discourse lately, including some suggestions that the way his statements get scrutinised is unbalanced in comparison to the way the other 1D boys are treated when it comes to song lyrics, statements they make in interviews and the general bar we set for them.

I get that it’s annoying that Harry appears to meet more political challenges in relation to the stuff he puts out there, but I’m going to put a positive flip side to that observation. I think Harry attracts particular scrutiny because he’s been more vocal and nuanced about issues which have a social justice lean, such as women’s rights and LGBT activism and that he’s even thinking about this stuff is a very good thing. I know that’s one of the reasons why, as a solo artist, he’s held particular appeal for me and I’ve been so excited to hear more from him as an individual. I think the reason he attracts more extensive critique is because he has consciously positioned himself as someone who gives thought to these issues, as someone who cares about, as he puts it himself, fundamental equality. He comes across in his marketing as someone who thinks about things like gender, women’s rights and LGBT identity and that’s a very, very inspiring thing to see in a 20-something popstar who could frankly choose to be a ‘rich kid of instagram’ and enjoy wealth and privilege without giving a fuck about anything or anyone.

If I’m right in my read of Harry, then surely there’s no harm in engaging with thoughtful critique about why this idea of ‘good girls’ allowed to meet mum and women wearing short skirts play into a narrative which isn’t particularly empowering? I come at this from the perspective of someone who LOVES the album and has had SOTT on repeat pretty much from the get go. This isn’t bashing, or character assassination. I actually think nuanced discussion about portrayal of women in pop culture (and entirely removing ship related motivations and emotions from the debate) very much get to the heart of the things Harry himself has gone on record to advocate for. The powerful voice of the young, female consumer. The resistance against buying into narratives we’re fed blindly, the empowering way we can interrogate and engage with things we see going on in the world around us.

I get the sense Harry WANTS to empower his fanbase and he wants to be a vocal supporter of women’s equality. However, Harry is a dude. A lot of micro-aggressions we experience are so insidious and systemic we don’t even notice them ourselves until we start piecing together all of those moments that begin to paint a pretty unhappy picture of binary constructions of gender and the deep, insidious inequality in supposedly ‘equal’ post-feminist societies. This gender imbalance is something he will never have experienced first-hand. That's why I’m behind elements of thoughtful analysis from articles like the Pitchfork piece and why I feel uncomfortable with critique of certain lyrics being read simply as buzz kill or, worse, condemnation of someone I actually have an enormous amount of time for.

Societal problems do not rest on the shoulders of Harry Styles and perhaps some will say it’s unfair to scrutinise what he’s doing in the manner I’m suggesting, but part of me can’t help but think he’d welcome it. There’s a difference between piling on and labelling someone a misogynist and using aggressive language to make a point and just making an observation about things not sitting quite right. I’m going to say the ‘good girl’ thing bugs me because it’s a puritanical kind of narrative which advocates for women being something respectable in the public sphere and a little bit freaky in the bedroom. To not question any of this at all particularly jars with me in a culture which is so ready dogpile female stars for bullshit co-opting of neoliberal feminist ideology, for being ‘too political’ (Queen B, Little Mix daring to comment on Syria) or the endless scrutiny and recrimination of stars like Miley Cyrus who had to grow up and find herself in the public eye or Katy Perry for her not sure quite where she’s coming from stance on LGBT related issues.

The thing is, I like the fact people question Harry’s lyric choices, because they should. It happens to female stars all the time. Interrogating every single word of the songs or the ship driven discussions of lyrics, although diversionary, are not what I’m talking about here. I do think that thoughtful critique can work alongside absolutely loving and supporting someone. I want it to be okay to acknowledge not everything a person I stan does is unequivocally cool. It doesn’t mean we have to start throwing slurs around and hating on someone.

One of the reasons I’m so here for Harry is because of the way he’s engaged with various issues which mean a great deal to me. Without bashing the other boys, he’s distinguished himself on social justice related issues through his own actions. The gender neutral pronouns. The unflinching support of the fangirl. The eagerness to challenge the idea that he somehow has to distance himself from a boyband past or the notion that there’s anything remotely shameful about that musical legacy. Precisely because Harry himself appears to be someone who wants to be an advocate, an ally, a person who positions himself as a supporter on these matters is the very reason why I think engaging with the content he produces in a critical way shouldn’t be such a problem. The fantastic stuff his sister does must be influential to his own approach, and Gemma does not hold back any punches with the issues she writes and blogs about with such eloquence.

My thoughts on this have been prompted predominantly by a handful of lyrics in a couple of songs on Harry’s album which jar with me. I think Harry’s focused a lot more on the way he deals with his frankly fairly crazy life than he has on the perspective of the women in his songs and for me, that comes across. I don’t think we have to beat him over the head with a big stick and call him a terrible person because of that, but I also don’t think we have to feel forced to celebrate the way women are written in all of the songs. Harry is going to grow and change musically and I hope he’ll pick up one of the more persistently negative points about his solo material, which tend to hone in on somewhat trite depictions of the sexually charged woman versus the ‘good girl.’

If you’re still reading (sorry, omg it got so long) I agonized over whether or not to post this. I have been thinking really carefully about how to frame my thoughts, because when it comes down to it, Harry is, I believe, a very good egg. A positive ally. Someone who has a voice which resonates and one I hope he uses more and more, because he’s incredibly influential and has real potential to go far in the music industry.

I think the fact we interrogate Harry more than the other 1D boys is perhaps has more to do with the fact he consciously wants to support exactly this kind of thinking. He has said so himself. That’s not hammering him and calling him names, it’s just a debate, a discussion, a way of processing feelings in a fandom space which is largely female centric but driven by the music, lyrics, interviews and narratives put out there by men. Although I’ve been lurking in the fandom for years, I’m relatively new to speaking out here and I have a small number of followers who I would hate to lose by not putting forward an unequivocally positive perspective. However, I also hate the feeling of not being able to say anything at all and I wanted to set out my stall.

I firmly believe that we can be critical without being damning, supportive without wilfully ignoring anything that might feel problematic. I also think the fact we hold Harry to a particularly high standard is not a bad thing. It’s a very, very good thing. It’s a testament to the fact he’s been pretty much saying the right things to date, and long may that continue.

#harry styles #discourse #pop music #meta

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howlsmovinglibrary · 7 years

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So I finished ACOWAR

This is in no way a coherent or articulate piece of writing in the same way my ACOTAR/ACOMAF piece tried to be, and I don’t think it even can be called a review, because I don’t tend to review books that already have this much visibility in the booklr community. It’s more just the notes I made while reading ACOWAR, which I kind of felt was the weakest book in the series so far (and if you haven’t already guessed it, I’m not much of a fan to begin with).

This entire piece is basically just spoilers, and salt, so please don’t read unless you already know/don’t mind finding out some major plot points!

First off, can I just say that every time ‘the male’ or ‘the female’ is used as a descriptor, I wince. I think it is a) bad writing and b) cis-centric as fuck. There needs to be more non-binary people in fantasy!

This book was so….bloated. It needed to be edited down a lot – the sheer number of chapters is insane. I had this poignant realisation when I read five chapters of High Fae trash talk at the faerie High Lord meeting and then…the thing they were having a meeting over just…happened anyway? And the meeting suddenly had no meaning whatsoever?

So many abusers are now being made into sympathetic/rehabilitated figures. I took Rhys’ redemption arc in ACOMAF because I kind of suspected that that was the way his and Feyre’s relationship were going to pan out but….both Eris and Tamlin received sympathy, and were made into heroes or forces for good at some point in the plot? Feyre forgave Tamlin? Mor’s abuse at the hands of Keir and Eris is pushed aside because ‘times are hard’ and ‘tough choices have to be made’? And Mor had literally no say or agency in that decision?

Meanwhile we have Ianthe. an abusive woman who’s entire character is one-dimensional villainy and demonised female sexuality. She is portrayed as having not a single scrap of goodness in her soul, not one redeeming characteristic, someone who Feyre has no moral quandary over letting be munched up by the Weaver. Even though her use of sex could realistically be portrayed as a product of internalised misogyny? And yet the men who ‘nailed a message’ into Mor’s womb get nuanced portrayal, the benefit of the doubt in the run up to the war, and even moments of heroism?????

I’m not saying that Ianthe should be redeemed, I just don’t understand why this instance of sexual abuse is so utterly condemned to the point where we watch her smash her own hand in some kind of medieval punishment, and yet the instances of sexual abuse perpetrated by men are all given a degree of either redemption or pardoning because of the circumstances of the plot. Is it because female to male abuse is more taboo and thus seen as more ‘evil’? Because SJM has so ingrained male-to-female sexual abuse into the very fabric of her patriarchal fantasy society, that we and Mor are expected to just accept that this is ‘the way things are’, or even write it off out of necessity as ‘boys will be boys’? I HAVE NO IDEA AND IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE.

Given my recent essay on the subject, I was interested that SJM tried to problematize and dismantle the concept of mating bonds a little in the conversation Feyre and Rhysand have about Lucien and Elain. It’s made into ‘Some natural function, not an indication of true, paired souls’ (Chapter 24). There was even the handwave of ‘oh this homosexual relationship may be the product of a mating bond, but they’re probably keeping it a secret from everyone’.

To be honest, I don’t think it succeeded in explaining away the problematic elements of mating. The biological imperatives were still there, ‘the bond is nothing more than...preordained guesswork at who will provide the strongest offspring’ (Chapter 24). Aggression was still a major part of the male side of the bond (like when we get the internal monologue of Lucien and witness him fighting his ‘instincts’) and it’s still implied that men are slaves to the desire that the bond generates, whereas women don’t feel it as strongly/can control their physical desires? ‘But the males...It can drive them mad. It is their burden to fight through’ (Chapter 24) This has some serious ramifications in terms of gendered conceptions of sexual drive. In my opinion, mating bonds are still squicky.

I now mostly just want SJM to put her money where her mouth is and follow through on her attempts at muddying the water: if she insists on pairing the spares, have Elaine get together with Azriel rather than Lucien, and show a relationship where the mating bond is terminated not because of outright physical abuse on the side of the male, but because of a romantic attraction overcoming a sexual/biological one. (Yes, I ship it. Or rather, I ship Elaine overcoming her trauma and going on to be a badass seer, building herself a temple and calling out bullshit like Cassandra in ancient Troy. But if she needs to have a boyf – and it’s SJM so she probably does – I want it to be Sad Shadow Man.)

‘Helion favours both males and females. Usually together in bed’ (Chapter 47). I’m not saying that bisexuality can’t work this way, but I gather that SJM has used the hypersexualised bisexual trope before.

I think that perhaps Mor’s jealousy of Nessian is because she’s attracted to Nesta (a la season 1 Korrasami)? But even so her possessiveness of Cassian and her hostility towards Nesta was horrible and OOC and made me angry every time it happened. I hate it whenever female-female relationships are sacrificed because of a guy, but it is particularly frustrating in a book where male-female relationships are definitely already the priority. And given the way that Nessian is reaching canonical status, even if you do attribute the jealousy to female-female attraction, it’s only going to end badly for Mor.

Feyre used Mor’s sexuality as a weapon against her after she was justifiably called out on reckless behaviour. Fuck off Feyre.

I know that Azriel is a good character. I know this. And yet this book turned his relationship with Mor into this awful poster child ‘friendzone’ dynamic, where Mor feels pressurised to hide her sexuality because of the hurt it will cause *him*. I don’t think this is a fault of the characters, but of the entire treatment of their friendship and SJM’s portrayal of Mor’s queerness as a burden.

No main characters die. In this apparently impossible war that basically ends in an afternoon. No – everyone is magically resurrected after barely five pages.

Bonus points for not even having the courage to keep Amren out of fae form and thus rip up her incipient ship with Varien. You could have written an entire book on the inner circle going off on a quest to find and subdue a superhuman dragon Amren unshackled from the bonds of human morality. But no. She’s ‘in the cauldron’.

DEUS EX MACHINAS (dragon ex machinas?) MAKE ME WANT TO SCREAM. Find a better way to resolve your conflicts. Especially when even the decision to unshackle Amren from her human form in order for her to become the Deus ex Machina in question has literally no lasting consequences.

Speaking of deus ex machinas: is anyone else annoyed that the only death god who survives the battle is Bryaxis, the one who only asked for a window in exchange for his services, rather than freedom and an implicit murder spree? This means that there are literally no consequences to these so-called ‘tough decisions’ that have to be made in times of war, and everything can just go on fine. ‘No evil death gods were permanently unleashed in the making of this war.’

Can I forcibly rip SJM away from the Russian mythology that she is no doubt going to butcher in the continuation of this series? As soon as I read the name ‘Koschei’ I groaned aloud. You can’t just take whatever mythology you like and use it to make your own magic system! You’ve already detached the Morrigan from any semblance of Celtic Mythology!!!

That being said, I did like:

That the Archeron sisters FINALLY seem to be forming a strong friendship rather than the girl-on-girl hate mess it’s been for the past few books. I liked that Nesta was as powerful as Feyre, and had a more integral role in the final battle than she did.

I liked that in Feysand we see a stable ‘after they get together’ relationship. I still think ACOMAF is ‘stronger’ as a book, as SJM is better at writing romance than plot, but at least there was no needless YA angst, beyond Rhys’ martyrdom complex.

And this sounds awful, but I’m glad that Feyre had a PTSD relapse. I felt that in ACOMAF, her recovery from mental illness was equated a little too strongly with her growing romance with Rhys. Love doesn’t cure mental illness, and I’m glad the SJM showed that.

But overall, this book (much like this commentary) was a bit of a rambling mess of little consequence.

#acowar spoilers #a sort of live tweet reading thing I think?#and it probably falls on the side of #anti-sjm #anti-acowar #I gave it 2.5 stars on goodreads in case anyone is wondering

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