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marley-manson · 1 year

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What are your thoughts on the homophobic Trapper headcanon? It shows up in a lot of fics, but I don't understand it at all. Like, Trapper was in George! He is on screen not homophobic!

Thanks for the ask!

Generally my thoughts are pretty negative lol.

In theory I get it to an extent in fic - like in a fic focused solely on Hawkeye/Trapper it can be a way to add tension and strife, and some people are into repression as a vehicle for drama, and if you're gonna pick one guy of these two to be repressed and full of internalized homophobia it’s not gonna be Hawkeye lol.

And if it’s a fic where he’s the evil ex and BJ’s the knight in shining armour then like, I still get it, it’s not hard to understand why people are into that, but lol it’s definitely not my thing at all. I often enjoy dark takes on characters, but I’m bored when it’s just done to make my fave perfect in comparison, and I prefer those dark takes to feel like an extension of canon, which homophobic Trapper is very much not.

(also idt I’ve ever seen homophobic Trapper in a fic where he wsn’t fucking Hawkeye lol, but if it ever was just an incidental element to a fic where they have a platonic friendship I’d definitely raise an eyebrow and go ‘why the fuck’)

And yeah like, while I can say I get it in theory, I still don’t like it, and it’s still objectively bad characterization and analysis. It’s blatantly ooc and goes against the spirit of Hawkeye and Trapper as anti-establishment rebels. As far as I can tell from what I’ve seen people say, the textual basis is one jokey exchange where Trapper pretends to be offended about guys lusting after him in Requiem for a Lightweight lol, plus maybe a few no homo-esque lines which Hawkeye also has a handful of, and if you’re prioritizing that over George plus about a hundred proud gay/effeminate jokes, you’ve clearly got an agenda here lbr. And maybe that agenda is innocuous, eg more fic drama, but yeah it definitely feels like a very biased take.

And now I want to rant a little about the “in practice” side of things, because in practice, based on headcanons and meta I’ve seen posted on tumblr, and characterization and writing choices I’ve seen in fic, the Trapper is homophobic and repressed (and defensive of his masculinity and prone to violence) headcanon is very often based on him growing up (presumably) working class. And this isn’t me assuming people’s motives, I’ve seen people directly say this multiple times lol, and I’ve seen fic that makes the direct connection, as well as fic that’s less direct, but painfully obvious in exaggerating his lower class Boston accent in dialogue and characterizing him like a stereotypical working class wifebeater.

Never mind Trapper textually and openly being a gay ally at the very least, never mind Trapper proudly declaring himself a pervert when Frank calls Klinger one, never mind Trapper freely talking about how unmasculine he is (out of shape, spent his football days on the bench) or taking the feminine role in bits with Hawkeye without blinking, never mind Hawkeye calling Trapper open and honest and supportive, never mind both Hawkeye and BJ throwing around homophobic insults while idt Trapper ever has as far as I recall (and if he has I guarantee Hawkeye does it more), never mind Hawkeye being textually more impulsively violent than him, nah, Trapper has a Boston accent so he must be repressed and/or homophobic and/or scared of not being manly enough and/or prone to violent outbursts.

It’s a bad take. In general I feel that any take that prioritizes real life preconceptions of types of people over what the text is telling us is bad, but in this case it’s extra bad because it’s based on pure stereotyping. I’m not saying that’s the reasoning 100% of the time, but I’ve seen it enough to want to rant about it.

Anyway my take on Trapper is that he’s bi, he knows it, he’s just as fine with it as Hawkeye is, and he once met Hawkeye in the men’s room at a gay bar in Boston as a reference to the book’s football game backstory first meeting.

#congratulate me on not writing 3 more paragraphs comparing trapper fanon to bj fanon #marley on mash #trapper mash #mash gs

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ashlingiswriting · 2 months

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the nations favorite writer - offer us any advice? going through a writers block rn

oh god i’m so sorry this took me so long, things got crazy for a second and i forgot 😭 thoughts below!

here (1, 2) are a couple posts that seem pretty helpful, but now i’m just gonna talk about what helped me with my last bout of writer’s block because i can still remember it in detail

again this is all just my own observations about myself because that’s kinda all i have—i’m no expert

i had too many other things going on and i did need to cut down on other hobbies a bit (in this case, i had to cut down on rp) because those other things all were...relatively small tasks and they took less time, so my brain would often go “hey what about this short and rewarding task vs this long and intimidating task?”

which goes hand in hand with training your focus—i think my phone really does impact that in a bad way. reading books helps with training focus, as does muscling through. i know muscling through goes contrary to a lot of advice, but it helped me. because a lot of times, i would start writing a scene and go, ‘wow, i hate this!’ but knowing that i didn’t have another idea of what to do, i just kept going until i realized why it felt wrong. and there were like...four or five different breakthroughs like that when i was writing my latest chapter. just ‘OHHHHHHHHH’ moments that i got to only after writing like a thousand or more words that i would not end up putting in the fic. it is NOT always like this but if you’re really blocked, sometimes it’s just cause you’re writing a genuinely emotionally complicated and crucial bit and your brain has to go down the wrong path a few times before it figures out the right one

part of that is figuring out what you feel about your current scene? like, sitting down and writing a certain scene, i would go, ‘no, this feels wrong, i don’t like it, i hate it’ and sure enough my instincts were right. it WAS bad. it was bad because it focused too much on the logistics and details of a side plot when i didn’t want to waste all that precious real estate and audience attention on something that was not connected to the core of my story. but i didn’t fully realize that till i was done. it was still good that i’d written out the long version, because it laid out all the information i needed (plus a bunch i didn’t, but still). idk. i love editing more than writing on a blank page. i love cutting more than i love creating. this may be a me thing.

could also be something went wrong earlier on, like your actual scene idea is quite good but you didn’t lay enough emotional or plot foundation for it to hit as hard as you want it to? reread your previous bits of fic and see if you can find the problem there?

i think peer pressure and/or friendship are huge for this—i don’t mean peer pressure as in ‘silly anti-drug advertisements where all the cool kids try to make you do weed’ i mean ‘hanging out in a community of writers & artists and/or with friends where there’s an atmosphere of people lowkey always working on their craft, whatever that may be’. because truly i think it helps keep writing top of mind & sort of normalizes the emotional struggles. plus the camaraderie is really nice!

my current home of choice is the narcos fandom discord (which is only about 25% about narcos fandom at this point lbr) but i know there’s a ton of different places out there to be a fic writer in community with other fic writers, so take your pick. i will say that not every community is perfect and i think the ideal community strikes a balance between participation & low stress—that is, people support each other but they don’t feel like they have homework-reading they have to do that they’ll get penalized for not doing? yk? i’m rambling whoops

plus, getting a friend that is willing and HAPPY to talk through the fic with you—an editor, a beta reader, something like that—is a godsend. truly without bellinitini/narcolini i would literally not have even published chapter one of my current longfic. but the key is to find someone who genuinely is interested or who is willing to do a bit of a swap; you help them with theirs, they help you with yours.

and then there’s the audience for longfics, which may or may not apply to you. cannot lie, rereading comments, even for previous fics that are unconnected, is extremely motivating! maybe that’s just me! (i don’t think that’s just me) on that note, if you’re feeling real desperate you can always reblog ask games about your WIPs so that you can interact with your audience a bit?

you could always try to take in more art—that’s usually pretty refreshing for me. canon review is great, but taking in other stuff (fictional books especially) can make your brain start thinking in different ways, especially if your brain is a bit spongy like mine and tends to absorb little bits of other writer’s styles if you chug a lot of them. you could try to find books that deal with the same setting, the same themes, or the same relationship dynamics.

so for example, i read colorless tsukuru tazaki and his years of pilgrimage by haruki murakami in prepping for my next chapter of richiefic because richie references it in season 2. and genuinely, reading it made me understand his character a bit better. but i also have a character going to prison, so i have read some of the works of george pelecanos (the novel drama city and several short stories), because pelecanos deals with the justice system in a way that i think is admirably clearsighted, not melodramatic, very honest. i’m fixing to reread some of the parade’s end series because ford madox ford is, to me, one of the greatest of all time when it comes to complicated conversations where two characters are completely legible to the audience—completely understandable—while struggling through emotionally complicated conversations with each other. and i am about to try and get some more books set in women’s prisons + books set in modern day chicago. reading stuff with the context of “i’m about to write something related to this” is such a good way to read stuff, too. just feels really good and sometimes you need a positive feeling when you’re struggling through the depths of depair i mean writer’s block.

movies and tv are good too, though imo they’re not as helpful. i...personally avoid reading other people’s fanfic like the plague if they’re dealing with a specific pairing whose longfic i’m struggling to finish.

just putting it down and coming back in two-three weeks sometimes helps. couldn’t tell you why.

and finally. you could always drop the fic. it feels shitty for a while, but if the muse has genuinely left you for good, you deserve to enjoy the freedom instead of just like...struggling onwards indefinitely. this has happened to me with longfics before and it always makes me sad. but sometimes there is genuinely nothing you can do, and in those cases, forgive yourself <3 this is a hobby, after all

my top three recommended tactics, without knowing details of your situation, are: talk with a friend/editor, take in more art, muscle through. in that order.

i hope that helped??? i’m very sorry about your writer’s block, it’s the worst thing in the world. and i’m sorry that it took me so long, i need to be more organized

#anon #correspondence #writing advice

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apoptoses · 1 year

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"Stumbled into Armand’s bathroom and washed his face, brushed his teeth with the toothbrush Armand had purchased out of habit over a decade ago. He’d been so used to shopping for Daniel whenever he moved into a new home that he’d picked up all the things a mortal lover would need and put them in his medicine cabinet despite the fact that Daniel had been gone from his life for years." In a chapter full of lines that made me INSANE, this one sent me to my grave. Of course Armand would keep getting all the stuff mortal Daniel would've needed, and would keep it in his bathroom unused for years, despite the fact that Daniel was neither mortal or actively involved with him at the time. And of course Daniel would find it there during his first night back in Armand’s bedroom in over twenty years. I’m fine this is f i n e 🥹

Armand avoding the word "dildo" and then Daniel being like "I know what you're trying to say pls stop trying to sound so formal" lmfaoo peak characterization moment 😮‍💨 if you ever decide to expand on this, please know that I'd be there in a second. It would feel extremely in character for them to continue exploring each other's (now both immortal) bodies in every way, shape and form after their reunion. Picking up right where they left off and all that.

Also, whenever I finish reading a chapter I usually read through the comments and nod my head in agreement all the way through and this time I noticed you mentioned Fareed's drugs in one of your replies and I was like 👀 I know it’s a popular trope in the fandom these days (and with good reason too lmao, Anne really did that huh) and I would LOVE to read your take on it some day if you're feeling up to it. It’s specially interesting when it comes to these two because there are definitely some vampires who’ve never explicitly expressed sexual desire for another or even the need to have a sexually intimate connection with their partners. It’s sensual/romantic without being overtly sexual and Anne was particularly great at writing that. But I don’t think it's the case with Daniel and Armand who were very explicitly erotic with each other and whose intimacy was one of the main driving forces of their relationship (and their relationship most likely suffered a great deal when they lost that element). And lbr neither of them would pass on the opportunity to smash like god intended them to. Even if only for old times’ sake like Daniel said. Armand would probably get sanctimonious about it for like two seconds and then would jump right into it. They're not NOT taking turns in fucking each other is what I'm trying to say lmao but I'll stop before I'm horny on main again!

Perfect chapter as usual, can't wait to see how you wrap it all up xoxo DA ❤️

Dungeon anon, I was wondering where you went!! 🥹

You're welcome for the suffering! Old habits die hard and idk i love to hurt over the idea of Armand still buying Daniel's favorite soaps and shampoos and stuff in the hopes that he'll come back to him one day and be comforted by seeing all these things. And Armand using them in the mean time as a way to feel close to the man he misses. I'm fine everything's fine I'm not miserable over this at all

I would LOVE to do a fic of them trying Fareed's weird ass vampire viagra out, like it's deifnitely on the list because you're right, Armand and Daniel do have a physical component of their relationship that seems to transcend typical vampire relations. Armand says over and over in TVA how much he believes in the good that is found in pleasures of the flesh, he's a carnal being and I see him hopping all over any new physical ways he could bond with Daniel.

(also not to get off track, but sometimes I do wonder how much of the intimacy seen in VC books is a deliberate choice about what happens when one becomes immortal, and how much of it was formed by 'it's the 70s/80s if you write mlm sex scenes that go beyond kissing these books will be hard to sell'. Because Anne had no qualms about that stuff in the sleeping beauty books, and finally in the late 90s started pushing that limit in VC with some of the scenes in TVA but. Anyways. Side bar over.)

But! As far the ~implement~ goes, just wait, it makes an appearance before the end of this story. And they are definitely flip fucking- everyone gets their turn in this universe, thank you very much 😌

(and please, DA, I think I speak for all of armandblr when I say you being horny on main is always a gift haha)

The last chapter should be out this weekend and I really, really hope you enjoy it ♥ I just gotta finish editing it.

#apoptoses answers #dungeon anon

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odnson · 1 year

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two tag games involving fic stuff under this

one line any fic! rules: pick ten of your fics, scroll to somewhere midpoint, pick a line chunk and share it, and then tag ten people.

tagged by @b1uetrees, thank u so much!! i’m a little late but i finally got the time!! i don’t think i can pick 10 fics tho; i’ll get to posting a 10th fic someday. 😂 also not putting the entire titles because i’m on mobile 💀

1. this one is from rivers aka one that is still very dear to my heart 😂

Instead of saying anything, Joowon chooses to act: he lets his breath ghost Dongsik’s nape, watching the hairs there stand before he leans in and kisses the skin between his shoulder blades, at the first knob that formed his spine.

2. this is perhaps my fave line from hook, only because i have a vivid image of ds tearing down the walls caging yy’s remains with his hands after he saw there 👀

Dongsik knows how to be gentle, but sweetness eludes him.

3. to the sun features jw and hyuk having a moment and looking back, i still like it so:

Joowon is steadily working past all these preformed prejudices in his mind, and he’s long realized that he’s been treating Hyuk like shit because he never saw Hyuk’s concern for him as something sincere.

4. from waterworn wishes, aka perhaps me at my cheesiest

Dongsik wonders if this is how it feels to be loved.

5. from tall ships, which i think still has the intro i’m really proud of:

There’s no guitar, but Dongsik’s heart sings nonetheless.

6. from as the world, one of my stuff that i look at rarely, but doing this fic meme thing reminded me that i had this bit in it

It takes him back to the reed fields, to wind against his hair as he tugged Joowon away from meeting the brunt of it.

7. this one is from company policy, and i really like it only because i think it hones in on the fact that jw is the “get out of my school” meme the moment he developed a crush 😂😂😂

He hates how everyone is entitled to Lee Dongsik’s kindness, but his dislike is reserved only for him.

8. this is part of wasted love’s summary, but eh, i think it says a lot about my hcs about these two lmao

The longer he remained here, the more he realized that this was exactly where they differed: Han Joowon was capable of loving only one person, but Lee Dongsik possessed a heart too big to love just one.

9. from qualm, the only fic i have that had the scenes flowing in a pace that didn’t require any separator, which, i think, is really interesting fsr bec i never trusted myself to have a piece that had one cohesive flow

There is no torrential downpour soaking them, no more darkened, dusty basement concealing decades-old secrets, and still Han Joowon is pleading.

second meme starts here, the fic writer interview. @b1uetrees was very kind to tag me once again, thanks very much!! 💕

name/nicknames: j

fandoms: be nowadays; gotta love how insane those characters made me

two shots: hmmmm to the sun and hook, perhaps? hook is so self-indulgent lmfao i wanted service top jw shaving off ds’ stubble and it was so specific that i knew i had to do it myself if i wanted it to exist 😂😂😂 to the sun was also self-indulgent, (all my stuff are lbr) but not as much as hook, i think. it did have jw in eyeliner tho, which ngl, i wrote for me 😂

most popular multi-chapter fic: exec horny/company policy 😂😂😂😂 funnily enough, it was 50k when i completed it and i thought “yeah i can post this in chunks” because i like finishing stories before posting, but idk. sth happened and it turned into an 80k thing somewhere along the way.

actual worst part of writing: oh, writing itself, i guess. like, wdym i gotta do it myself and that idea won’t spring out of my head fully formed like athena?? what

how do you choose your titles: unless something fits for the whole thing (like company policy), i go through a bunch of instrumental osts

do you outline? the better question would be “do u follow the outline” imo because that’s when i’ll start sweating 😂😂😂 i mean i do outline, but only for significant stuff i’ll likely forget (covid did me so bad and gave me horrible brain fog), but how to get from one plot point to another…………i wing that most of the time 💀💀💀

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: mafia au, i stg, i did this little meme re: zodiacs and battery percentages on the cursed bird app and it revealed a “gang au” which is basically the same thing?? yeah. i do have an idea for it and the whole vibes, but wdym i gotta sit down for it to see it happen? 🙃

callouts @ me: ur phone is not a suitable device for writing

best writing traits: i think it’s the fact that i always write for me 😂 like, i write what compels me, what i want to see, what i enjoy. other ppl liking it is a very nice bonus, but me liking it has to be the most important factor here. i’d hate for the joy of writing to be taken away from me.

spicy tangential opinion: this might come as a shock to some ppl but if u don’t like sth, pressing the backspace key usually makes the thing go away. also if u’re going to be nasty to some fics, do it in ur dms and gcs and not on the cursed bird app bec u don’t know who sees those and don’t, ffs, bookmark the fic and tag it with “meh” or put a rating 💀💀💀 i’ve seen these things happen and with all due respect to ppl who do these: wtf is wrong with u??? (if u dont have gcs or frens to trashtalk stuff with then guess what, u’re probably a nasty fandom police that everyone has blocked)

not tagging folks bec i think everyone has done this by now 😂😂😂 if anyone wants to do it tho, say u’re tagged by me!! 💕

#tag game #very late to this but thats life for u #also no if u know me on twi u dont; i refuse to interact there #i use that app to see impressive art tagged ‘rkgk’ and look like they can be on louvre #text

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idealisticrealism · 2 years

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TCL 2x02 recap

Guess who’s back with even more thoughts?? 2x02 time let’s gooo

Ugghhhh the location of this ‘prison’ is gonna haunt me I stg. These damn hills are so familiar to me and yet I cannot pinpoint where the bloody thing is. Looks like this will be on my list to hunt down next year ugh

Okay all of these security checks seem excessive when there is literally going to be a glass barrier between them anyway?? Also last ep Nadia got to bring in her bag but it seems like Thony didn’t? C'mon show I need consistency here lol. Tbh I’m sad that they don’t get to use the visitation room from 1x10 anymore, bc lbr we all know how much I wanted them to be able to touch their feet together under the table bc they can't hold hands lol

Anyway the important thing is that my boy is back on his feet, which makes me want to know how long has passed since his attack? Like a week? Seems like an appropriate amount of time to recover from multiple stab wounds and to be back in GenPop… tbh it can’t really be longer than a week given the state of his facial swelling. Also I’m gonna assume that he and Thony haven’t spoken since the call last ep, but he’s probably been able to speak to Nadia, and she has passed on updates to both sides?? So Thony knows about the attack, and he knows about Marco, even if neither of them have details?

But oh man the utter dismay on Thony’s face when she sees him, this is what I live forrrr. Did he know that his visitor was her? Or did he assume it was Nadia, and that’s why he looked like he was steeling himself to deal with her drama (lbr, she’s highly-strung lol) when he walked in?? But ugh instead he seems to slump a little and gives a sigh when he sits down across from her; he looks so tired and I love that he doesn’t have to hide that in front of her the way he would for Nadia

“Look what they did to you”-- omg. This is literally the closest to wearing her heart on her sleeve that Thony has ever gotten and I'm dying?? The emotion in it?? The very not-platonic intensity??? Ngl I also love that her first words are such an inane statement, like she is literally so overwhelmed rn that she can barely even do words. (especially since the words that were probably screaming in her head from the moment she saw him were some very intense ones in Khmer, and I would have died to have heard her speak those aloud lol)

But wait wtf excuse me how dare the scene cut there??? That better not be all we get or I will riot???

Also ugh Garrett. I don’t caaaare about you. Although it is handy that our baes are still able to go ahead and bribe the judge lol. Wait, Russo is leaving to go to Miami? I wonder if this is a plot thing or a ‘the actor wants out’ thing?? I will actually miss her ugh

Oh thank god we’re back at the prison. (words that people other than me probably never say lol). And okay I love that she literally came to visit Arman the moment he was out of the infirmary, even before Nadia it seems?? And ugh he asks about Luca (again, I’m assuming he already knew about Marco through Nadia, and lbr I’m probably going to do a fill-in fic for the rest of the conversation at some point lol) but anyway oh lord “how are you holding up?” and THEN “I feel like I’ve failed everyone” followed by DIRECT EYE CONTACT and ugghhhhh he knows she’s not just talking about Marco and Luca anymore and god he looks like he wants to hug her so badly (that little head tilt as he leans in?? help??) and he immediately makes it clear that he doesn’t blame her and she shouldn’t blame herself either ughhh. Also I love the choice the writers made here by having him be so soft when reassuring Thony and then only getting sharp/frustrated when talking about Nadia hahaha

“Be careful in here”/“That’s not how you survive”-- Wow, what a great character study in only a handful of words?? Also this feels like it’s going to be one of the themes this season, like the S2 version of “not the right way or the wrong way, but any way you can”. But oh man poor Thony is going to be extra worried about him now… as she watched him walk away, was she suddenly afraid that this might be the last time she'd ever see him alive??

Garrett has a very impressive habit of showing up where he’s not wanted. (Although to be fair, he’s not wanted anywhere, so…). Ngl though it does look kinda bad for her to be visiting Arman at this point in time given that she’s meant to be the grieving widow. Also “I know you had nothing to do with your husband’s death” sure sounds a lot like “I suspect that you had something to do with your husband’s death” lol. But he actually genuinely does seem to want to help her still, which he chooses to do by not shutting up about her staying away from Arman. Good luck with that one, buddy. God I love how pissed she looks when he brushes off Arman’s attack as ‘bad guys taking each other out’ omg. Honestly how was I ever afraid that this show would try to pull a Garrett/Thony/Arman love triangle, she literally cannot stand him like 90% of the time and it’s glorious hahahahaaaaaaa

“I’m here because Arman saved Luca’s life, and he deserves to know that he’s safe”. omg. Thony. That is… that is so incredibly weak?? like at least come up with a better explanation?? She literally basically went with “oh yeah my boss helped get surgery for my son like a two and a half weeks ago so now I am visiting him in prison to tell him that my son is now safe and sound after being abducted by his now-dead father, which was an event that by all accounts he should have had no idea about in the first place.” WHY WOULD THIS CONCERN YOUR TOTALLY PLATONIC ‘BOSS’, THONY? Like god you are doing an amazing job of announcing to Garrett that yours and Arman’s relationship is far more than just professional (though lbr, they all already know this lol.)

Oh hi again, ABQ airport! I remember you well haha. Also omg Fi’s dad is so little? And her mum is beautiful, wow– though she really doesn’t look much older than Fi herself haha. This is going to irk me a tiny bit but I guess I can roll with the idea she had kids very young?? And damn Thony really is persona non grata with these guys huh? So much for “my mother always loved you more than me” like Fi said in early S1…

Oh wow it feels weird to get subtitles for the Tagalog?? I’m so used to the show making us just figure it out ourselves. But I guess they were a bit more necessary to follow the plot this time. Also the cheerfulness/excitement of the greeting at home feels a bit weird considering they’re there because of a death in the family, but I guess it is a pretty special reunion/first meeting all the same? Man bereavement is weird.

Okay I am going to need to go back and look at kitchen scenes from S1 bc I stg there wasn’t a door there before. And who has a front door that opens directly into the kitchen anyway?? But I do like the look of this Detective Flores, she seems badass (and that accent is hot), even if her presence is immediately stressful lol. I'll ignore the fact that there's no way it would have taken a detective this long to come and question Thony about Marco though, it's been like a week!! Anyway I love that after the extremely uncomfortable response to her questioning/accidentally starting a family fight she’s like ‘ok yeah I’mma go’ and Thony is immediately like ‘oh god thank you’ lolll

Okay potentially unpopular opinion here, but I just can’t see Nadia and Robert as being a thing?? I mean I could believe that they were previously together (he’s handsome and rich, and Nadia is very attracted to power, after all), but they don’t have the chemistry of two people who were once in love. He has more the vibe of someone who is looking at something he once possessed and wants to add back to his collection, not someone who actually genuinely cared about her. And tbh I think Naveen is amazing but I just don’t think he was the right casting for this role at all. But idk who knows, maybe he’ll change my mind. I guess I was just hoping for someone amazing who would really sweep Nadia off her feet and out of the way of Armony lol

I enjoy this guy’s comment about Arman ‘taking the crown’-- feels like a nod to 1x10 (“The Crown” lol). Also lbr I would want to have Arman on my prison crew too lol. But oh shit he’s really gonna go after Hayak??

I don’t even have kids and I’m annoyed on Thony’s behalf at Lolo trying to parent her child for her lol. Shut your face, buddy, you can’t exactly give parenting advice when your son turned out to be an asshole and your daughter moved to another country to be away from you. Also, telling her she spoils Luca? Pot calling the kettle black much??

“Everything I did, I did for my son” man those words are starting to sound almost worn out now, like she’s repeated them so many times by this point– but lbr we all know that that’s not the whole truth Thony. But awww at Fi defending her, I love these sisters-by-choice <3

“You made my son feel like he was not enough” excuse me that sounds like a Marco problem, not a Thony problem??? God why don’t people just go to goddamn therapy and stop blaming everyone else for their own shit?? Also HELL NO you are not taking Luca back to the philippines lol, I legit dare you to try get him away from Thony the Mama Bear without losing a limb lol

Huh Thony’s bed is gone?? Did they move it while the guests are there or has she been sleeping in with Luca now that he doesn’t need the infection control anymore??

Oooh I found this location (where Chris sits on the curb after riding his bike) too! Literally recognised the building from a distance while driving on the interstate haha. Though it's a shame I didn't realise that it was the curb itself that was the important part lol. I also love that there are literally crew in the background of the shot while he was riding the bike lol, I haven’t seen the show have an ‘error’ like that before

Super cool shot with the train going past in the background! Still pissed I can’t figure out where the prison is haha. Also goddamn Arman is badass, casually sitting there bleeding through his shirt while staring Hayak down. We stan a sexy ruthless king lol

Aw, looks like Thony got her buddha necklace back from Garrett in the end! I kind of also love that she’s wearing it too bc I’m certain that Marco and his parents are catholic lol. What a power move/symbol that she follows her own path rather than theirs. Also it’s interesting to learn that Marco was a few years older than Fi– he was such a brat that I assumed he was the younger brother until she referred to him by ‘Kuya” (a term for an older brother/relative) in the last ep...

Nadia’s voice sounds deeper and older on this phone call?? Maybe alll this stress with Arman has aged her lol. I really do feel for her… but not enough to not be cheering for Armony haha

Damn Thony really is desperate to keep Arman safe if she is risking missing her own husband’s funeral to help get him out?? That’s what you call endgaaaaame lol

I cannot stress enough how much I do not care about Garrett and Maya lol *mentally fast forwards through scene*

Robert: *brusquely gestures at Thony with a pool cue* Me: oh I think I hate him? Robert: *makes Thony strip off right in front of him, and even makes her let him help undress her* Me: oh I definitely 100% hate him IMMEDIATELY AND FOREVER. Honestly, what an absolute bastard. Nadia is way too good for him, how could she ever even consider being with him again?? I’m so incredibly pissed about this moment for many reasons, mostly from the act of emotional violence that it is, and oh man I hope Arman finds out about it and tears Robert apart with his bare hands for disrespecting Thony like that…

Ngl though, I kind of do love that she clearly only went through with it bc it was for Arman. Our girl really is ride or die for him ugh. Also, “No one pays attention to the cleaning lady”-- except Arman did, from the moment he saw you. Ugghh help me. And ugh Robert talking about making her clean stressed me out so much. I hate this creep SO MUCH.

“You remind me of [Marco]”-- not the compliment you think it is, Lola. Poor Chris is having a Bad Time lol

Feeling super annoyed that this incredibly unrealistic prison infirmary setup is preventing me from enjoying shirtless Arman undisturbed lol (because holy hell, Thony needs to burn all of this man’s shirts so we get treated to this view all the time haha). But yeah, as someone who has worked (admittedly, only briefly) in a prison infirmary in the past, this setup is legit ridiculous lol. But then again, it is the US, so maybe that's just how things are done over there haha

“No one can pin me down” / “Unfortunately, neither could your wife” okay dude I don’t want Russo to leave, the only good part of Garrett’s scenes are when she (or Thony) is absolutely dragging him lol

Nadia speaks French?? That’s hot. (As is everything she does, lbr.)

Wait, is Garrett at the funeral bc he suspects Thony has something to do with the money? Or with Marco’s death? Or did he come intending to pay his respects but then got a weird vibe? Like dude why do you keep showing up everywhere, I’m sick of your face

That’s one very expensive orchid.

Okay I cannot believe that this show not only gave us shirtless Arman being patched up (ps dear prison doctor, I will trade places with you any time), but it also gave us an entire shirtless fight scene in the showers??? The TCL writers are benevolent gods and I am their most grateful subject lol. Ngl I may have paused this scene quite a bit… for, uh, science. Also bless you wonderful gifmakers for already taking care of this lol. Tbh I'm slightly upset about the fact that this ep gave us the gloriousness that is both Thony and Arman half-naked, and yet it was in totally separate (and somewhat unfortunate) scenes lol. A goddamn tragedy tbh. And ok ngl I now have a sudden desperate need for Thony to see Arman shirtless.... c'mon writers you know you wanna do it

Anyway, respect to Hayak for actually taking on Arman himself, though we all know he wouldn’t have dared if Arman wasn’t already significantly wounded lol. He knows he’s outmatched otherwise. Also daaamn, the knot on this freaking towel is the strongest thing in the universe apparently?? lol. Another tragedy haha. And okay I know I’m going on and on about this, but literally HOW was he so unsupervised in the infirmary that he could possibly get hold of something like that?? (What is it supposed to be, anyway?? Bc I know what medications are likely to be stored in a cupboard like that and I know what medications could conceivably kill that fast and there is not a whole lot of crossover there lol)

But anyway yeah the whole syringe thing is ridiculous but I will roll with it lol. Just as i will ignore the even more ridiculous “I always loved you more than my own son” hahahaha. (Tbh there’s been a little bit of cliched dialogue in this ep but I will overlook it out of love). But damn, “It won’t be long now. Your heart will seize and it’ll be done” actually does sound pretty badass?? Moral of the story, DO NOT FUCK WITH ARMAN MORALES lol

(although ok I gotta question how he’s not going to get caught for this murder? Any death in custody gets an automatic autopsy, and they’ll find the injection site, and surely there’s cameras around the infirmary that show he was just there earlier, soooo? But nvm it’s fiction so *shrug*)

Man the dynamic between Chris and Luca is going to be so fascinating now. And imagine like an 18 year old Luca finding out that his cousin-brother killed his father? Tho lbr by that point Arman will be the only father he remembers :P

I like Fi’s mum and I love that Fi finally got to hear that she’s proud of her, but tbh I still can’t excuse the terrible parenting for Fi’s whole life. “We thought that you were stronger” BRO SHE WAS A CHILD??? Good lord.

The dad though??? Like I know all too well the impact that grief and loss can have, but damn the entitlement of him wanting to basically steal Luca to use him as a do-over of Marco? Gross. And acting like Luca’s connection to him through Marco gives him more of a right to have Luca than Luca’s own mother???? C’mon now. So glad Thony called him out on it and put her foot down, even if the issue didn’t actually get clearly resolved….

Okay EXCUSE ME WHAT. Are the writers kidding me with this imagery of Arman leaving his prison and walking free out into the light, overlaid with Thony reciting a sacrament so fitting that it could have been written solely for him???? I feel like I fucking ascended to a higher plane during this scene, bc jesus christ I have been to some of the most famous places of worship in the world and yet none of them felt as holy as my couch did while I experienced this moment. Not only did it have that sense of connected-even-at-a-distance that the ‘Someone To Watch Over Me’ scene in 1x07 evoked, but it took it even further, because even though this scene very clearly involved them engaging with their respective spouses (indirectly in Thony’s case of course), it was undeniably an Armony scene, and I’m sorry but I am going to be an utter mess about this forever?? And the fact that the writers chose to have Nadia remove his sunglasses– symbolically removing a ‘mask’ and letting him see the light– rather than showing the two of them kissing (even though I’m sure they probably did kiss, only moments later, though I’m grateful we didn’t have to see it lol) was legit incredible and have I mentioned I’m in love with this entire writers’ room or??????

Ugh okay that's all for now, but I guess I'll see you all next week for more of this show sending me literally insane. Help.

#The Cleaning Lady #Armony #TCL recaps #help me god

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thatsmistertoyou · 2 years

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yknow I was thinking about it just a few weeks ago and I thought hey maybe Dan has moved on from being Online™️, at least for the foreseeable future. I thought well, I hope he’s good and satisfied with that and knows that there’s still an audience that respects and supports him if and when he chooses to come back, even if we’re all old af now. I really wouldn’t have ever guessed at the Big Reason lmao the AUDACITY of yt!!

(I’m kinda curious to see if yt responds to this in some way. Probably not but watching them get dragged to filth WAS fun ngl)

Anyway. More personal rambles under the cut

I really appreciated his comments about parasocial relationships. We really can’t help it in this day and age - public figures affect us, even if they are ‘public’ in the broadest sense of the word. It is not lost on me that most if not all of you that are still here are reading this bc you read my fic about this real closeted man and his secret lover lmao. If I never had to see any more commentary on rpf it’d be too damn soon. It’s all been said I think we’ve had enough. You’re not going to virtue signal people out of it my guys this is the internet I really don’t know what to tell you

But anyway. I tried to be as respectful as possible about it. I never claimed it was speculative. After a while I stopped doing that on here altogether. They just genuinely inspired me. What can I say. I found their dynamic and story compelling. What if I told it in my own way, what if I put this spin on it, what if I could make something fun and sweet that other people would enjoy, what if I made something dramatic and heartbreaking. They helped me discover something I had only dabbled in, an intense passion for the craft of writing that I have only recently picked back up bc I found new muses. (If you like Breath of the Wild, hmu lol)

This community was my lifeline in a very hard time in my life. It helped me make a lot of the friends I have today, some of the closest friends I’ve ever had. It demonstrably changed my life. I didn’t ask for it, but I needed it.

And so I really related to what Dan said about yt. The conflict of wondering if it is a net good when it put people in uncomfortable positions sometimes. Obviously it’s not a direct parallel, I’m not comparing like, petty fandom drama to the trauma of people analyzing your every move while you’re closeted and afraid. I’m glad Dan has been able to come to terms with it, at least a little lol. I think we’d all like to think we had no part in it - I never sent Dan an ask on his margarita blog asking if he was gay or dm’ed him my fic on twitter or submitted drawings of him and his bff fucking when he asked for art. But where’s the line? When does it stop being fun and harmless?

I appreciated his comments about that as well. I myself have loved to cite the fact that Dan really did say ‘knock yourselves out’ when it comes to fan works, asked for submissions of them at several points, and straight up wrote his own and put it in a nyt bestselling book that would forever immortalize him. And also performed it on stage, if in a cheeky and self-aware way. (Yes Phil did most of these things too, but we’re talking about the other one rn. And tbh, Dan always seemed like the one to seek permission from, right? Idk how to explain it but I feel like y’all know what I mean when I say that.)

I recently had my first ever impulse to get rid of my fics - not delete them, but maybe orphan them on ao3 so they wouldn’t be 100% tied to me. Or maybe take them down but keep an archive of pdfs linked here or something - something that would at least partially distance me from The Evils Of RPF. Lbr, I worked too damn hard to destroy my legacy completely. I’ve gotten so many wonderful messages over the years saying that my stories have had real impacts on real people. I can’t just pretend that didn’t happen.

But Dan and Phil are real people too! Dan has talked about how traumatizing it was to have people clock him as gay before he was ready! It’s invasive! It’s weird! It ruined one direction! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Can y’all tell the posts I’m talking about. Have you seen them too.

The one really caught my attention - something like ‘amazing how all those 13 year olds knew Dan and Phil were gay like immediately, they tried to deny it and it didn’t work’. Shit like that puts me on the defensive like immediately, but, admittedly, it was funny. I was like. First of all I was 18 the first time I even saw one of their videos, get your facts straight, not all of us were that young. And second, I was immediately like Self Recognition Through The Other.

Yes it was also maybe invasive curiosity and speculation, maybe attraction to them, maybe genuine enjoyment of their content, maybe the digital landscape at the time in which watching real people do real shit was novel and no one knew the implications until it all started to blow up, etc etc. but like. I didn’t know I was queer at ALL at the time. And a few years in the community later I had more friends than I’d ever had, thriving hobbies, and am now openly bisexual. I can’t say any of that would have happened without this super weird and scary thing.

So, all of that to say, I understand at least some of what Dan was talking about.

Also I’m not deleting my fics, dw. If my boss finds them that’s her fault.

(Not saying I would have absolutely shit myself if Dan had, in fact, launched a project about an alternate unhappy version of his life on his 30th birthday, but it’s a strong possibility.)

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carrrothead-vol2 · 2 years

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So I rly wanna write a fic where Queen participates in Eurovision 2022 and Brian and Roger really don’t wanna go, cause you know, it’s ~Eurovision~ plus everybody hates UK anyway, but Freddie kinda sneakily signs them up for the UK preliminary cause it’s good promotion for Killer Queen. And then they end up advancing so eventually they have no change to back off. (John of course is fine with participating. A competition where ABBA has won, cannot be bad)

And suddenly everyone is saying that wow UK aint shit this year and they might even have a change of winning (of course if only no one hated them). They are all excited to meet Måneskin and The Rasmus and MIKA and Freddie makes a lot of heart eyes and is a bit intimidated by some acts outgaying him, but hey, he still has the best voice.

There are so many guitars (and some of them can be played with BOOBS), and there is also ASS, so it aint all bad. Brian bonds with Latvians over salad and pussy and is very openly proud that he’s the only dude who built his own guitar on this Guitarvision 2022. John gets recruited not only by Spain, but also Romania to be their backup dancer, and Roger is very jealous, cause there’s a high change John might get some ASS. Roger hits on all the beautiful ladies with guitars and gets slapped a lot and is secretly very pleased. He makes friends with Moldavians who invite them to this epic party they are throwing together with the Baltic states and Ukraine. A lot of vodka is served, and so are history lessons.

Big night comes, Freddie’s hair is flowing, and John’s triangle solo is particularly striking. Later, Roger votes for his cool new friends Moldavians, and John for his ~friend~ Spain, and Brian for Ukraine and Serbia and Iceland and lbr there are so many acts that deserve his vote, and maybe he should start worrying about his phone bill. Freddie, of course, votes for themselves.

They get more points than all British acts combined in past twenty years. Not that it’s a hard task, considering one must multiply by zero, as John wisely remarks.

In the end, they place second, and as Ukraine takes the stage, it doesn’t feel like losing.

#queen #eurovision #freddie mercury #brian may #roger taylor #john deacon #kaakson creates stuff #or wishes she did #queen band

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arrowflier · 3 years

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if you are still doing the wish you'd write a fic thing....

i kinda have two requests because i love your writings/opinions/consider your future stuff as totally canon, so..

everyone always thinks ian and mickey's little girl (because they totally need to have a girl lbr) goes to ian for comfort, but i'd like to see her go to mickey too. so i wish you'd write a fic where mickey comforts their girl.

second thing... i wish you'd write a fic with them and a newborn <3

Hi Anon, thank you for prompting me and for being lovely!

Not gonna lie, I've been struggling with words and inspiration today, but in the last five minutes I now have a completely new headcannon involving how Ian and Mickey acquire not just one, but two daughters (and eventually a son) by the "local stray" method. It'll take a lot of work to turn into something, though, so for now have this itty bitty snippet as today's untitled speedwrite!

Mickey woke to the bed shifting under him, displaced by the weight of the child trying in vain to climb up onto the mattress. He rolled over with a groan, sitting up just enough to get his hands under tiny arms and hoist his daughter up to rest next to him, now accustomed to the sudden appearance of small children when he was trying to sleep.

He tugged the covers up higher and closed his eyes again, but it wasn't long until the kid was poking at his face with sharp little fingers.

"Ugh, what?" he rasped, voice thick. "I'm tryin' to sleep here, go bug your dad." It wasn't unusual for one of the kids to come in after Ian was up, but they normally at least let Mickey keep resting.

The poking stopped, and he relaxed back into the plush bed, eager to fall back asleep. Then he heard a telltale sniffle, and he was awake in an instant instead.

"The fuck's wrong?" he asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His daughter was kneeling next to him, crying quietly, tears leaving tracks down her face. She wiped her dripping nose with her arm, and Mickey winced, reaching for the edge of the sheet to clean her up.

He wiped her face, then propped himself up against the pillows and opened his arms.

"C'mere, kid," he prompted, and she fell forward into his chest, curling up tight against him. She nestled her head against his heart, listening to it beat, as Mickey ran a soft hand up and down her back.

"Gonna tell me why you're cryin'?" he asked after a few minutes, but she just shook her head against him. He shrugged, and held her tighter. "Alright," he said, "fair enough."

Eventually, she quieted, and started to pull away. He let her go, knowing what it was like to need space after letting go like that.

"You ok now?" he asked, and she nodded, eyes focused on the bedspread.

"Don't tell daddy?" she asked, not meeting his eyes.

"Don't tell him what?" Mickey retorted, flicking her chin up with one hand. "You haven't even told me anything yet, kid."

That earned him a tremulous smile, at least. "That I was cryin" she answered, "he'll worry."

Mickey snorted. "Fuck that." He bent to bring their faces level, and waited until she looks at him. "You rather make me worry, huh?"

"No, poppa," she relented, then murmured something he couldn't hear.

"What was that, mumbles?"

She took a deep breath, then said, all in one go, "Don't wanna go to school the boys they're mean and they won't let me play guns and Tommy says I should do girl stuff and I said guns are for girls too and he said if I had a mommy I'd know better and--"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Mickey cut her off. "Jesus, take a breath, kiddo, you're gonna have a stroke or somethin'."

Her eyes widened, and he cursed himself for forgetting that--

"I'm gonna die like--"

"No!" he yelped. "It's just a, a saying, you're fine." He really needed a better filter, but in his defense, he had just woken up. "Why don't you want your dad to know?" he asked, desperate to get her back on track.

It worked, thankfully; he blessed the wonders of a child's short attention span.

"He tries to fix stuff," she said.

Mickey understood immediately. "You're worried he'll talk to the teacher again, aren't you?" He had done that last year when some asshole little kid had tripped her on the playground; the end result had been a forced apology from the boy in front of the whole class, after which the rest of the kids had either taunted her for being a wimp or tried to help protect her. She hadn't been sure which bothered her more, and he didn't blame her.

"Tell you what," he decided. "We're gonna tell your dad." He held up a hand to halt her protests, and continued.

"We're gonna tell him, and then you're gonna play hooky and ride with us today." She lit up at that; she loved doing pick-ups. They got some weird looks sometimes for taking a kid in an armored ambulance on weed runs, but it was only the cushy routes, and no one was going to complain as long as deliveries were on time.

"And then," he said as he swung his legs over the side of the bed to stand, his daughter shuffling toward the edge of the mattress on her knees. "Then, we're gonna sit down, and we're gonna talk about how you--you, not us," he emphasized, "are going to handle this."

He stretched, then reached down to help her off the bed as well. "That sound okay to you?"

She nodded, face serious. "What if I wanna punch 'em?" she asked, and he shrugged.

"Then you deal with it by punchin' 'em, I guess." Not like he could say shit about that. "How I used to deal with stuff. But your dad," he grinned down at her, "he might have another idea. "

Her face screwed up. "A better idea?"

"Hey, I didn't say that," he protested. But then he lowered his voice, crouching down to be on her level again. "But he did get a kid in so much trouble, once, that he never touched him again. Kid even cried about it after," he confided.

She thought, then agreed, "I guess that sounds okay. And I won't get yelled at then."

Good kid, Mickey thought. Gotta have priorities.

"Alright, let's go track down your dad then, huh?" He ruffled her hair, laughing at the annoyed face she made as she pushed his hand away and tried to fix it. "If you ask real nice, maybe he'll make us banana pancakes before work."

#daily speedwrite #ask #prompt #gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #kidfic #fanfic #dad mickey

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kiseiakhun · 3 years

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So where's the HalGuyKyle essay? 👀

Okay okay okay

This got long so I'm going to just

So the thing about them is that they each build on a part of something that the other two lack when they're in a relationship together. Kyle and Hal are too indirect - Hal's not one for talking things out, and I can think of at least three examples of Kyle just happy to float along in relationships even when he KNOWS there are issues. Guy is a metaphorical battering ram of honesty. He won't let you hide things. He's indelicate, and he hates secrets, and you know exactly where you stand with him. Kyle and Hal can dance in circles forever, but Guy will plow through that circle. More than just forcing them to confront their truths, Guy is a force of motion. He's something that keeps moving forward, not letting the other two fall into stagnation, and I think Kyle and Hal would both be attracted to how solid he finds himself, how he's unflinching in his conviction. Guy knows who he is, while Kyle and Hal (especially Hal) go through like three identity crises a year. I wouldn't call him simple, but being with him is uncomplicated. It's not always easy, sure, but no matter what, he's devoted, he's sure of himself, he's sure of who they are. Guy is like a scaffold, or a guiding light. He's solid and dependable. You always know what you're getting.

Meanwhile, Guy and Kyle together feels like. They feel like the most stable twosome of the group, but maybe I'm biased because I'm still fresh off of binging all the guykyle fics lmao. They're devoted to each other - remember how Guy went red because Kyle died? That moment lives in my head forever. But I don't think Kyle can really... get the full complexity of Guy in the way that Hal can. And it's not through lack of trying, or deliberate ignorance (though Kyle does have a habit of putting his partners on pedestals), but simply just. Not from being there. Hal and Guy have such a long history together. They're the ones who've seen each other at their worst. I haven't gotten to the point where I see a lot of Kyle and Guy's dynamic together in the comics, but they seem to lift each other up. They seem to bring out the best versions of each other, but sometimes that's not what you need. And I think Hal has an easier time of seeing all of Guy, of knowing all he is. The interesting thing about Guy is that he seems to know the people around him - of how and why they act, their motivations, the things that drive them - better than he knows himself. And it's interesting because Hal doesn't tend to focus a lot on others, either, but he does have an intrinsic knowledge of Guy. They're similar enough that Hal barely has to try in order to Perceive him, but they differ in that Hal actually does introspection. So he's aware of how his own brain works, he overthinks his own motivations and what drives him it's that parallax induced trauma to the point of landing on an ouroboros of recursive thought loops. He Knows Guy, much as he wishes he didn't sometimes, and it can be refreshing to be around someone who you don't have to be perfect around. Kyle is just... so good. He makes everyone want to be good. When you're around him, you want to be the good person he knows you are.

And I could write ANOTHER essay on how Kyle and Hal were written to be complete opposites of each other, but the circumstances of them becoming a lantern were so similar. They both started off completely alone. There was no one to guide them at the start of their careers, no one to help them. Hal was the first, at least the first in earth, yes Alan was technically the first but he didn't have the corps so I'm not including him in this count. And when Kyle was GL, there were no corps. They were gone. They were completely destroyed. Kyle was the only lantern for a DECADE. Well, a decade in real time so like, probably two years in universe. And I don't think anyone else quite understands that particular type of loneliness. Even when the corps were back, Kyle and Hal are the ones who are like. Idk if exceptional is the right word but they keep getting singled out? Like Hal as the spectre, white lantern Kyle, etc. It's that sense of belonging yet not belonging all at once, and they both feel like the other is too good for them and it's like how by being on opposite sides of a spectrum, you're closer to each other than the folks in the middle. They don't seem like they should get each other, but they DO. When one of them says "I give up," the other one is there, telling him no, and holding out his hand. Kyle brought Hal BACK FROM THE DEAD and Hal brought Kyle back from parallax!! They SHARED THE SAME MIND. If Hal and Guy see and acknowledge the dark, ugly parts of each other, Kyle and Hal have metaphorically touched hearts. They've seen each others soul and they deem it worthy. Adding Hal to Guykyle is like adding salt to taffy. It adds depth to something that's already good. I guess this metaphor only works if you like saltwater taffy.

AND while I love halguy, they're as liable to break bones as they are to make out. They've both internalized different aspects of toxic masculinity and they seem like the most volatile combination. When they're good, they're great, but when they're not good they're BAD. They're terrible. Hal went to the school of internalizing your feelings until they all burst forth in a terrible flood like a tsunami that destroys everything (Parallax) (a trait he also unfortunately passed down to Roy, both of them spiral HARD), and Guy has an unnerving habit of taking the energy you give him and then amplifying it. Usually by making it worse. Fortunately for them, Kyle is a diplomat. He walks into a gun fight and he convinces them to put down the guns, and idk how he does it because he's also impetuous and short tempered and sort of an asshole tbh but SOMEHOW HE DOES IT. If anyone can make Hal and Guy get along, it's him. Also lbr, he sees Hal and Guy getting testy and snapping at each other and he goes 👀 and tries to insert himself in the middle and redirect their anger to something more fun. He's attracted to passionate people, and Hal and Guy are brimming with passion. He's also so horny, and Hal and Guy are. Like. Just look at them.

#i didnt mean to write an actual essay but here we are #i wanted to do a meme response idk what happened #hal jordan #guy gardner #Kyle Rayner #halguy #halkyle #guykyle #halguykyle #meta #asks #supericelight

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erectionsandtea · 3 years

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Roller rink skate date headcanons! (poly party) insp. by this post, for @mike-wheeler-is-gay (I know you wanted byler specifically and I usually write poly party, but I tried to stick some extra byler in here for you, I hope I did it justice and that you like it!)

So many paragraphs this should really just be a fic, I'm sorry

- Mike is super tall and gangly is absolutely the worst skater in the party (tied only with Lucas, who put on his very first pair of skates and promptly fell on his face and they weren't even on the rink yet, they were still on the carpet area)

- the moment Mike steps into the actual skating floor, he falls bc he's tall gangly uncoordinated Mike, and Will is just standing there rolling his eyes, like "babe, you're a mess" but he doesn't mind bc it means he gets to hold Mike's hand (and hold Mike in general) while he helps his bf balance and skate

- and Mike is like "I don't deserve you, why are you even with me, I'm so awkward" (poor self deprecating bby), and you know Will would respond with "are you kidding, you're amazing, why are YOU with ME?" (also a self deprecating bby), but then he falls and pulls Will down with him (aka on top of him lol)

- and they laugh, and just as their lips touch, the moment is ruined by Max zooming in their direction screaming "get up before you get run over!!" And she manages to avoid them (being the zoomer that she is) but Lucas has to swerve and falls the fuck over ofc (luckily the rink isn't super crowded that day so nobody's in any real danger)

- and Dustin is looking at byler like "this isn't even that hard guys, come on, are you even trying??"

- El and Will have totally been going to the rink (sibling bonding yo) and everyone realizes that's how they got so good bc El is totally the best skater in the group

- except for Suzie who is a skating queen

- El and Suzie totally having races from one end of the rink to the other

- Max totally joining them and they let her win, just once

- Dustin joining them and after he wins twice in a row (pure luck), Max and El pretend cross his path and bump into him, totally fucking him up, and Dustin's just like "are you shitting me?" (but it's all in good fun, everyone knows that)

- El and Max holding hands as El helps her get better at skating, bc Max is decent on skates but better on her skateboard (bc how do you wheels on both feet separately ??) (like skiing vs snowboarding)

- byler doing that thing where holding hands facing each other, and Mike learning how to actually move his feet and skate forward, and that's propelling Will backward (and Will constantly throwing praise at him and Mike grinning so big bc he's doing it! lol)

- Will and Mike holding hands as they slowly skate around the edge of the rink

- Mike needing to stop a moment and grab the wall to keep himself up and steady, and Will coming around in front of him, his hands over Mike's,and they stand there all adorable and then kisses (except Mike has to duck down bc Will cannot stand on his tippy-toes in skates)

- eventually Mike is like "I need a break" (from falling and stuff, tho he has gotten better) and he goes to sit down

- and then El comes over to join him bc "you looked lonely" (he isn't really lonely, he just kind of has a resting bitch face sometimes, tell me I'm wrong, am I actually wrong tho ??)

- they sit together in silence, watching the rest of the group playing some weird skate-tag game (rules at the bottom)

- Mike is watching Will with a smile on his face, laughing and having fun, and he says to nobody, really "what did I ever do to deserve him?"

- El replies "probably whatever I did to deserve you" and they look at each other and smile and then cute lil Mileven kiss

- their hands reach over (cos they are sitting like RIGHT next to each other, no space)

- they continue to sit there, hands clasped, her head on his shoulder, watching the group and sometimes making comments to each other and laughing

- after a while Will comes over to check on his bf and sis) ("I don't know which is more bruised, my knees or my ego" -> Mike, "you're doing really well!" -> El), which is actually kind of nice for El bc she wants to go skate some more but she doesn't want to leave Mike by himself

- before she leaves tho, she wants a kiss, so still holding Mike's hand she gets up and wheels around to face him and grabs his other hand and is like "I want a kiss" bc she's just blunt like that (it's a good thing)

- and mike laughs at her bluntness bc SO CUTE, and so Mike gives her one of those super cute kisses where he puts his hands on the sides of her face, you know? And she has to balance herself by putting her hands on his knees (Sorry, I just had to get a Mileven kiss in here)

(so much detail in those moments ^ I'm...sorry?)

- so Will sits there with Mike, and they hold hands and share kisses and say cute sweet things to each other, and honestly they spend more time looking at each other than anyone/thing else

- Will goes and buys them one giant drink to share bc boys gotta stay hydrated (can someone please draw this or maybe ALL of this idk ??)

- the rest of the group annoys them (but not really) by hanging over the wall and saying "AWWW" super loud and making kissy faces

- and then El comes back over later and says "okay, that's enough sitting down, we're going back skating, come on" and she grabs Mike's hand and Will's hand and tries to pull them up but it's hard bc wheels (like she's about to slip and the boys have to grab her arms to catch her), but the boys comply and go back to the rink floor

- Dustin and Suzie can totally do skate-dancing, whatever that is (and they totally get applause)

- Max skating by everyone so many times and being like "zoomer!" and everyone is like "pls stop, we get it"

- Dustin trying to tell help Lucas how to skate by actually explaining how the skates and the rubber stoppers work, and Lucas not getting it and just being like "can you explain in English please??" And Dustin throws his hands up like "I fucking give up, you're hopeless"

- Max learns how to skate in a small circle (basically just turning around without stepping) and she's super fucking proud of herself and does it constantly

- Max eventually needs to be stopped by El and Lucas bc "babe, you're gonna get so dizzy" (you can decide who says that 😊) but it's too late bc she's already dizzy

- Lucas and El lead Max off the rink floor and she just immediately falls down to sit on the carpet bc so dizzy and El falls down next to her bc hand holding (she gets pulled), and Lucas sits down too

- the girls can't stop laughing and Lucas is looking at them like "tf is wrong with you guys?" (but not really), also he's just smiling at them and laughing with them bc goddamn they are so cute, his girlfriend is the most beautiful girl in the world and seeing her as she is right now just inflates his heart

- eventually Max can't stay upright so she lies back and El follows her and they are just lying there together (Max on her back, El on her side facing Max, no space), giggling so hard, they can't stop laughing for some reason (I think it's bc when one laughs, it makes the other laugh too)

- Max is like "you, boyfriend, kiss" and so Lucas complies

- an employee has to come over and say "you can't lie down here, it's a safety hazard" and Lucas is like "we're sorry, sir" and he's like "babe, we gotta move"

- so he gets the girls up and they bring max to a bench where she can sit, instead of sitting tho, she lies down again, on the bench with her head in El's lap, and then elmax kisses as El plays with her hair

- El and Max basically take over the bench that Mike and Will were sitting on, and they also steal the boys' giant drink (barely a quarter empty) cos hydration

- Will and Mike trying to kiss while not holding the wall, but fucking down AnD having his eyes closed throws Mike way off balance bc what a klutz, and then he falls and Will is fuckin laughing and he feels bad but also it's funny

- so then Will gets down too (more gracefully but lbr, anyone can be more graceful than Mike, without even trying) and is like "it's okay, we can do this here" and then sitting kisses

- El trying to help Mike but she's having too much fun and ends up just speeding around while Mike tries to catch up with her, and she has to keep going back for him

- Mike feeling kind of embarrassed bc his gf is amazing while his own skating is questionable, and he confides this to her and is like "why are you with me, I'm so clumsy and awkward" (self deprecating again), but El makes him feel better by telling him that she's with him bc she loves him and actually she thinks it's kind of cute that he's not that good at skating and she likes being the one who helps him for once (bc he's helped her for so long with so much)

- and then Mike gives her one of his lil mike-smiles (you know the one I mean, like the one right after he kisses her for the very first time, in season 1)

- and then a Mileven kiss, but Mike almost loses his balance again like he did with the byler kiss, but El can sense it's about to happen and has to break their kiss to hold him up (she's holding both his hands, fingers intertwined), but it's okay, they just smile at each other share a little laugh at the situation and how uncoordinated he is, and they scoot their skates really close together in a sort-of huh type thing

- arcade games after!! (But I'll put that in its own separate post 😄)

- rules to the weird skate-tag game: 1) the wall is the safe zone, but you can only stay there for 10 seconds at a time 2) you cannot untouch the wall for one second and then go back to touching it for 10 seconds, you have to actually leave the wall and skate (HOWEVER you can try to skate from the wall on one end of the rink to the wall at the other end) 3) you are allowed to skate around the edge while touching the wall, as long as you only do so for no more than 10 seconds 4) whoever is 'it' cannot hover around those on the wall 5) crashing into someone does not count as tagging them 6) no tag backs

I tried to get equal parts of all the ships in this one but I know I failed miserably, I'm so sorry lol (clearly you can tell who I ship the most)

If you want to add more (I will if I think of any), send me ideas, or request anything, please feel free! 😀👍🏻

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mxvladdy · 3 years

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Ey, could you make food source reactions for Mammon & Levi like you did with the others?

I've read it like 3 times now, they're all so sweet and believable you did a great job!

You got it Fam! Glad you like them so much lol. (I got a lot more angsty with Mammon than I thought I would but I love him sooooo)

Mammon

This poor man. He gets to spend so little time alone with you. He has to make every second count. Between the hustling, modeling, and running from Lucifer, he’s a pretty busy guy.

So he plans date nights. Just you, him, and his leather couch. Ya ain’t goin’ nowhere, ya hear? He looks forward to this every month. He pins it on his calendar too just so he doesn’t double book himself.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Just cause he plans this doesn’t mean he necessarily has a plan. Not that you care. Most of his activities turn into trouble anyway, even when he is not trying.

Sometimes he teaches you how to play cards (also shows you human ways to cheat-just in case you need it). The hours are spent pleasantly sitting in his lap while he teaches you how to count cards.

But, most nights, he just wants to talk. He enjoys his time with you. You and him cuddling and chatting away the hours before passing out for the night.

He has a lot of things he wants to know about you. To him, he feels like if he knows you better than the other brothers he’s won.

Won what? Idk, your affection? Approval? He already has it, but he is insecure about his place in your heart regardless.

This evening starts out like any other. Mammon dashing to the kitchens to pilfer some snacks and drinks before Beel can steal them all, and you bring your cute self over to his room.

You two toss back a few drinks and spend some time looking over his latest photo shoots before going on to the main event. Tonight you brought one of your favorite human card games. It was like 20 questions, but some questions were more risque than others. Was it meant for more than two players? Yes, but whatever- Mammon wants to play it so you are.

You both are relaxed and drowsy by the time you start playing. Your stomachs are full of junk, and the morning moons are just on the horizon. It’s the perfect mixture for loose lips and secrets, before falling asleep in each other's arms.

You pick easy cards first, jumping from silly innocent questions to one that made him blush from ear to ear. The hours pass quickly and Mammon’s answers become more slurred and accented as he tires out.

He was on the verge of sleep when you ask, “What’s your favorite dish?”

It was a slip of the tongue, a long-lost memory pulled up from the dregs of his exhausted mind. He remembers a savory dish Barbatos use to make way back when. He can still smell the savory smoky spices mixing with the fresh vegetables and meat- Oh shit.

He feels you stiffen and he ain’t sleepy anymore, that’s for sure. Immediately up and apologizes. He stumbles over himself in his haste to explain himself.

You spend the rest of the evening with him in your arms trying to comfort him as he tearfully swears he hasn’t eaten a person in a couple of hundred years.

Mini Fic

He regrets it the moment the words slip out. His sleepy remark hangs out in the chilly air of his room. He feels you jerk in his arms as if punched. “Shit! I-I didn’t mean.” Mouth agape, he backtracks, tongue working faster than his overtaxed brain. He looks down at your head on his chest.

Your eyes are wide. Their surprise reflected in the bright blue moonlight. His heart sinks to his stomach. Gods, he ruined it. “I’m sorry- I.” Pushing you off of his chest he goes to grab his shirt and redress, ignoring the prickling heat growing at the corner of his eyes. He could sleep somewhere else tonight. You could have the room if you wanted, or at least give you a minute to flee in terror from the demon that masqueraded as your friend. He can’t look at you. Hells, he was too ashamed to even glance in your direction. What kind of idiot let’s slip that? They even had a council meeting about this very thing before you arrived.

So lost in his panic he doesn’t notice you trying to get his attention. It wasn’t until you forcefully grab his arm did he hear you. “It’s ok Mammon.” You engulf him in your warm and comforting scent. Strong arms dragging him back to the crumpled sheets of his bed. Your soft fingers wipe at the silent tears streaking down his cheeks.

He dislodges himself from your light grasp to rub at his own eyes. “How can ya’ say that?” Where was your sense of self-preservation? Ain’t humans supposed to be aware of such dangers? The irony wasn’t lost on him though. Being your ‘protector’ and all.

You shuffle closer, hellbent on comforting. His pack mark hums gently on his chest when you touch it. As much as his body wanted to run, your pact mark cemented him to his seat. He sits while you fuss over him slowly breathing through his mouth to calm his racing heart. He can’t help but drift closer to you when he feels your hand on the top of his head. When had he become so weak for you?

“Well-How can I not?” You shrug. He closes his eyes when you start ruffling his fringe. “You’ve been nothing but sweet to me. Yes, you have,” You cut him off firmly before he can object. “Always my number one anyway.” That pulls a wet chuckle from your demon. His eyes clear up at your admission. “I trust you Mammon, honestly. I mean, I kinda knew that you’ve probably eaten a human or two in your life. Knowing, and knowing are more different than I thought.”

Mammon cages you in his arms, his nose brushing along your neck and jawline. “Damn-.” He huffs covering you in his warm body, arms tight around your sides. “I’m sorry. I ruined tonight.” Mammon sighs into your skin.

You hug him back. “Nonsense, if you want to get technical I think you won this game. I can’t top that answer.” You push away with a wide yawn. “Now can we go back to bed?” With a nod, he flops over pulling you down with him. You bully your way into his arms again. Sighing constantly you snuggle in for the night, ready to drift off. His eyelids began to feel heavy again too. Your soft weight on him like a security blanket. He listens to your slowly beating heart, matching his breathing to yours. The rhythmic thumps working to calm him better than his noise machine. He basks in your presence, rubbing his broad hand down your back for a moment before you speak again.

“Hey, Mammon.”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think I would taste good?”

Leviathan

Awkward boy. Of course, he has had his fair share of humans. Not particularly his favorite through. A lot of the time it wasn’t on purpose. His demon form is big and sometimes more than just fish and other demons get swallowed up. Course when that happened, they weren’t exactly fresh either. Bleh-just thinking about it makes his stomach turn.

No, he never got a taste for it, even when it was served in the royal palace. The memories of the sea are still pretty vivid. It never really crosses his mind anymore. Till you bring it up.

He invites you over for a game night. A new VR game he had been saving up for just dropped and he had to play it with you.

It was a horror stealth game. Heavy on critical thinking and solving puzzles in real-time.

Your two characters were on a race against time against a flesh eating cult that had invaded a small village. He thought it was a fun concept and you both liked horror games. He didn’t notice how quiet you had gotten until you had set your controller down.

You ask during a loading screen after a pretty graphic cut scene of a npc getting caught. How realistic was that cut scene? Had he ever eaten a human before?

Boy is a brighter pink than Ruri-chan’s signature outfit (and twice as cute lbr)

He gets so flustered that he misses the start of the next round and gets you both eaten.

He doesn’t take conflict well. Like at all. He much rather slink off into his fish tank and hide than answer you. In fact, that sounds like an excellent idea.

He slithers back out of his tank hours later thinking you had left or found a better brother to hang out with. Yucky people eaters like him aren’t good company for humans.

You jump him the minute his feet are back on solid ground. Have an answer now you must! Yrssss.

Mini Fic

“L-Let go!” Levi shrieks, caught in your sneak attack. He locks up when you jump him, all four of your limbs wrapping around his soaking body like an octopus.

“No!” You squeeze him harder taking full advantage of the fact that he won’t remove you himself. You feel the heat of his blush through his soaked clothes as you cling closer. If he could blush any harder you were pretty sure steam would be wafting off of him.

“Why do you want to know anyway?” He wiggles gently, trying to loosen your tight grip.

“Morbid curiosity.” Well, at least you were honest. He was still going to say no, you didn’t need to know that about him. He opens his mouth to shut you down but makes the mistake of looking at you. The words die when he catches the pout growing on your face. Oh no- his one weakness. Your way your lower lip pops out adorably, accompanied by slightly puffed-out cheeks. It was a one-two punch to his defenses.

“I-they weren’t on purpose.” He pleads. Nevermore in his life did he wish he could turn into a mist-like his brother. He feels you slip off of him. Your bare feet don’t make a sound on his carpeted floor. “It just happened sometimes.” He admits. You accept it for a few seconds before his words fully hit you.

“Wait? How do you accidentally eat someone?” You ask incredulously. “All though- that’s something Beel might do.” You ponder the logistics and step back to give him some space.

He rights himself, wicking the moisture from his coat and pants with magic until he is completely dry again. You start asking a dozen more questions in rapid fire. It was enough to make his head spin. You were too curious for your own good. “Ever heard of basking whales?”

You blink.

Levi sighs and waves a hand to himself. “When I lived in the ocean… I’m big ya know. I kinda would just open my mouth and swallow. Whatever I caught I ate.” He waits for you to get the jest. Most of the time it was smaller fish and aquatic mammals. When a demon encroached on his territory he would eat them too. The dead were meant for his army, but sometimes they got sucked into.

Instead of nodding in understatement, you cover your mouth with the palm of your hand and snort. His eyes grow big and his blush turns brighter. You were spending way too much time with Asmo. “No-Not like that!” His flailing only makes you laugh harder. Great, as if he didn’t want to die of embarrassment already.

“Well word it better, nerd.” You laugh retreating back to the mound of pillows you claimed for gaming, VR headset in hand. “Come on, we have to start over now- thanks to someone.”

“You started it!” Levi shoots back grabbing up his gear as well. He fiddles with it for a moment before glancing back at you. You were oblivious to inner turmoil over this admission. A naval admiral was one thing. Humans had them too, that wasn’t too much for you to comprehend. Being a devil was easy enough to understand too, at least in his mind. But eating people? Shouldn’t you be more concerned? “So-that’s it?”

You look up questioningly. “What’s it?”

He raises a purple brow. “You have nothing else to say? I just admitted to eating people!”

“Not really.” You shrug. “I can’t get too pressed about it. It’s not like you are human. I’m like what-at the bottom of the food chain to you, right?” Levi nods. “See! So no point stressing over it. ‘Sides, you haven’t munched on me yet.” You turn your attention back to the screen, flicking your controller to wake his flat-screen back up. “Unless~” He gulps at the sly eyebrow wiggle you throw at him, the shit eating grin that accompanied it only made him worry. “Perhaps you just have an appetite for seamen.”

Your peals of laughter mix with his shrill yelps of objection, as he tackles you. His previous worries were completely forgotten by your teasing.

#obey me #obey me fanfic #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan

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veliseraptor · 3 years

Note

Hi lise....How are you? If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite “villains” (or antagonists) in all of MXTX novels? (Whether you want to do a ranking or just write out in no particular order)...Sorry if you've answered this question before....

I am stressed, depressed, and holding off a mental breakdown but keeping it together so far! and distractions in the form of thinking about my villain beloveds help.

asdlskjadf oh man. so it’s not quite “all of them” but it is... “several.” no ranking here because rankings are hard, so here’s in no particular order my personal greatest antagonist hits from mxtx’s novels

(this post will contain hella spoilers just to let you guys know)

1. He Xuan. I just finished (well, for a given value of ‘just’) rereading the Black Water Arc again and ahhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. I love He Xuan so much, I love everything he chooses to do, I love the fact that he has a choice between revenge and a friendship he does seem to value and ultimately still chooses revenge, I love his cold anger, I love the part where he just fuckin...rips Shi Wudu’s head off with his bare hands, RIP Water Master but that was pretty badass.

But yeah, I think what most draws me toward him is that...pull, where you can see him trying to give Shi Qingxuan an out, and he’s not going to abandon his revenge, would never, but he will bend it just a little, or he would...but ultimately Shi Qingxuan fails the tests he gives them and that’s it.

Also “you called the wrong name” will probably live in my head, as they say, rent free, with lines from literature that stick with me.

2. Xue Yang. Obviously. I feel like...I don’t even know how to talk about him here without repeating myself. Love at first sight and I never looked back. It only got worse. There’s a whole lot of buttons that he’s hitting all at once and...god, idk, okay, I’ve written more fics about him in a year and change than I wrote in the entire Silmarillion fandom between 2009-2021, and some of those are long. It’s a lot.

3. Jin Guangyao. I feel like I don’t always talk enough about Jin Guangyao and that’s mostly because I feel like other people have said the things I’d want to say but better already? But...god, love him. He’s such a psychological mess of paranoia and anxiety and insecurity, he’s so up in his head, constantly thinking about three or four things at once, is he enjoying the experience? Not necessarily.

I’m always going to be a sucker for a clever schemer and Jin Guangyao’s got that going for him, and I also really enjoy a good juxtaposition between seeming fragility and insane endurance/ability to keep going well past the point it’s reasonable. His drive to escape his origins, to prove himself, to gain an approval that’s always going to be just out of reach...I’m love him. Very very much.

4. Shen Jiu. Does he count, considering he’s mostly SIr Not Appearing In This Novel with the exception of the extras? I’m counting him. It feels very silly and also very me that my favorite SVSSS character is this guy because like...he’s not even technically present in the novel proper as an actual person? Even Xiao Xingchen at least gets a corpse cameo.

Whatever, I’m counting him anyway. I was going to be like “I know he’s awful” but come on, this is a list of antagonists and I love characters dealing horribly with their trauma and also passing their trauma on to others in the worst way, and also characters who come to bad ends, and also characters who will see people thinking the worst of them and go “fine! sure! I will do nothing to correct these assumptions at all because fuck it, if people are going to hate me might as well go all in.”

5. Jun Wu. I know, I know! I feel like this is maybe the most unpopular of mine actually but I have a thing for...antagonists who are disappointed idealists who are now trying to ruin everyone else’s day/life to prove their point while at the same time (this is a read, but I think I can support it) wanting to be proved wrong, but also absolutely certain that they won’t. And his interactions with Xie Lian in book four as Bai Wuxiang are...well. they sure do hit a nail shaped like my character dynamic kinks right on the head

and I’ll talk about this more in my favorite TGCF moments answer that’s forthcoming (I’m just finishing the book first so I don’t forget anything!), but I also find the conclusion to his arc very satisfying in ways that I very seldom get in media.

honorable mentions: Ling Wen (honorable mention only because I don’t know that she actually counts, she’s only an ‘antagonist’ for a hot minute and she doesn’t actually do anything to our protagonists to seriously hurt them), Shen Qingqiu’s internalized homophobia (honestly probably the biggest antagonist of SVSSS, lbr), Xie Lian on a rampage, He Xuan’s skeleton fish.

I do also have a soft spot for Bingge even though we only see him for a hot minute. he’s just awful and a disaster and I love that for him.

are we counting Jiang Cheng as an antagonist? because I don’t but if we were he’d be on this list too.

honestly the only antagonists I actively dislike (as opposed to just find relatively uninteresting) are Jin Guangshan and Jin Zixun.

#thanad zid #conversating #the sad queer cultivators show #dysfunctional gods and ghost kinks #i need a custom svsss tag #i'm not going to tag this as meta because it's just me like. fucking gushing #but i will tag it as #top five meme #so i can find it again and since i did end up with five

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curiosity-killed · 3 years

Text

Like I know I’m writing a fic entirely abt Hua Cheng’s unresolved childhood trauma but I feel like there’s this whole wildly underacknowledged aspect of so much of the persona he crafts that is a direct response to his childhood/life and it’s in obvious things like needing to be strong and needing to be able to protect Xie Lian but I think it’s equally as present in his insistence that he doesn’t have or need friends and that he isn’t good or deserving of good things bc there’s this whole defensive system of like, if you reject it first, it can’t hurt you

But the irony of that defense is that it usually comes because you did hope first and were hurt through that and I think we see that when Hong’er is brought to Mt. Taicang and insists that he’s not evil, he’s not toxic while everyone except Xie Lian says “no that one’s bad, that one is intrinsically evil and contaminates everything he touches” and like we joke (? Not really a joke but anyway) abt Xie Lian being Hua Cheng’s moral compass but I think part of that is intentional? Like I think part of it is this child who wants to be good and is repeatedly told that it is impossible for him to be good bc of his very nature, and there’s one person in all of this who not only says “I know that what they’re saying isn’t true. You’re not evil and it’s not your fault” but also keeps providing Hua Cheng with these moments of support and guidance — and if you’ve been told by all the world except one person that you are inherently and immutably evil, a walking curse, but you still want to be good and the person you believe is the epitome of good reaches out their hand and says “I see you,” who wouldn’t strive to be like that person and live up to them and try to be worthy of their belief?

And I think that wars with Hua Cheng’s self-perception and feelings toward the world because on the one hand, he knows he cannot be good — he causes trouble everywhere he goes, he’s never strong enough to protect Xie Lian, he dies on a losing battlefield in a futile war — and so he rejects it outwardly. Says, fine if I can’t be good I’ll be the evilest motherfucker in this town.

(Which I think is where we get into this really juicy nexus of Hua Cheng’s identity as it revolves around Xie Lian vs his identity as it’s starting to form as an independent person during his time as Wuming but that’s a tangent for maybe later)

But like...even as the Big Bad, he doesn’t? Do? Evil??? Like don’t get me wrong, he’s an asshole and his morality is skewed to be sure, but like...he sacrifices part of himself in a way that should have destroyed him to save human lives. He brings down 33 gods for revenge. He strikes a deal with He Xuan that is at worst driven by a desire to hurt the heavens and at best a sense of justice for the wrongs suffered by He Xuan. He beats up Feng Xin and Mu Qing which yes is petty af but whatever I’m here for it. He creates a place where ghosts and people and even heavenly officials (in disguise) can intermingle and maybe it’s by accident or maybe he’s just bored but it’s not exactly the den of evil lbr. He kills mortals who are specified as tyrants and cruel oppressors.

Even as much as he projects this persona of evil and maliciousness—and the heavenly officials swallow it down like a chocolate coated pill—he still in a lot of ways is trying to be good. He still wants to be worthy of Xie Lian’s kindness, he still wants to not be toxic and evil and bad. He wants to be good

...okay there is actually more that could go here but I didn’t mean to write this anyway so I’m leaving the word vomit on y’all and will presumably return to yell about my boy soon enough

#the point is: I love Hua Cheng and I have FEELINGS abt his complexity #that are rarely satisfied with fanon #personal #tgcf #tgcf meta #?????? tgcf rambling more like #Hua Cheng #anyway things I would add to this: how this affects HC approaching XL in the novel #how it continues to support #my agenda of hualian falling in love in-canon etc #and the deliciousness of wuming

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scarletjedi · 3 years

Text

untitled Untamed time travel au, but make it Mingcheng

@piyo-13

Part 1: The set up

EDIT: Part 2A is up! Link at the bottom!

Okay, so, like I said. Mingcheng. Time travel. Fix-it.

(this is mostly a daydream and less a fic idea in and of itself, so I keep picturing it as a sequel to either Bilateral or shamelesscooper’s stuff - which I think this’ll be. a Spiritual successor)

So. Established Mingcheng as an ongoing, romantic relationship where they both understand that they’re building a relationship, not just a fling. We get A JC who, “canonically” can give NMJ a run for his money while sparring, and will *wear him out* in the bedroom. Like, I write smut, I think this is a *key element* in a top-tier Mingcheng fic (if they aren’t being written as asexual, naturally) and I think this dynamic just ADDS to JC’s budding reputation as a *stone cold badass.*

So, either way, you’ve read it. You know where they are.

To add a bit of angst for spice... Events play out as in canon, up through NMJ’s death. (I don’t think this is where established Mingcheng should go, btw - I think them being together changes events for the better and a lot of that shit is avoided). Broken hearted AGAIN (because lbr, NMJ was there for JC when his world fell apart. Probably even fought a bit - I needed your support! etc...) JC is visited by NHS.

He’s... different than JC remembered. Colder. Distant, but what was ditzy before is now aloof. Like he’s looking into you rather than through you. Nie Huaisang says.

“Jiang-xiong...did you love my brother?”

JC is incensed. How could NHS doubt his love? *JC* is not the one who leaves.

“Jin Guangyao killed him.” It’s the only time NHS says it out loud. “He sent Jin Zixuan to his death at Qiongqi path. He had his accomplice tamper with Wei Wuxian’s music, leading to—”

“Enough,” JC cuts him off. “So you want me to kill him for you?”

“No,” NHS said. “I want him unmade.”

Which - TIME TRAVEL MAGIC BA BOW

NHS sends JC back, but....I think I need something to go wrong. For reasons they use Baxia in the ritual, and NHS is adopting a ritual to send the self back to send JC back, but....

He gets it wrong and sends JC back IN ADDITION to himself

Baxia sends back NMJ

JC’s core sends back WWX

....handwavy some reason I want LWJ to be sent back as well

...and Wen Ning because he’s also tied to WWX and he’s alive but he keeps his ghost powers, I’ll explain later but it’s cool

...to the night before they start at Cloud Recesses

JC is like “alright! It worked! I have NHS’s plan. I rebuilt a sect before so I can totally do this!” ....but then WWX falls out of bed, freaking out and clutching his lower dantain, sobbing and freaking out- (because he’s a: suddenly very alive when he was dead and b: in possession of his golden core. It’s a bit disorienting) and JC is staring at him like: ...wtf? It wouldn’t be the first time WWX had nightmares, but they were about dogs- not whatever this is.

Anyway, then WWX sees JC, and JC can *see* the moment of fear (and that hurts because this WWX should not be afraid of him) and the mask fall and—

Look, JC isn’t stupid. He just time traveled. That look is what he had seen *after sunshot* so—

“What’s the last thing you remember?” JC asks, and the blank look on WWX’s face is *terrible*

“Ahaha...Jiang Cheng, what—“

“It’s nightless city, isn’t it?” (Going with untamed canon).

WWX‘a eyes get big, “Shijie!” And he twists like he’s going to up ans run to her—

“She’s asleep!” JC snapps. “You’ll see her in the morning.”

WWX blinks at him “will I still be here in the morning?”

“Unless NHS really fucked up, we both will be.”

“... What does Huaisang have to do with this?”

“He’s the one that sent me back,” JC said, and cocked his head. “I have no idea why you’re here too.”

And look - WWX isn’t going crazy from resentful energy, but he’s also a traumatized man. He’s thinking clearly but everything is closer to the surface- he flinches. JC knows that flinch- that guilty flinch that says WWX knows but doesn’t want to say.

“Wei Wuxian!”

And now he flinches, but when JC doesn’t lunge for him, WWX looks at him assessingly. “Why aren’t you trying to kill me again?”

“I wasn’t trying to kill you then! I never thought you’d—“ not survive that fall. “Do you know the last thing I remember? What made me agree to come back? Everyone was dead, JGS was insisting on JL spending more time at Koi Tower, and my lover was murdered- murdered by the same man who sent JZX to his death and set you up for his murder, and made you lose control at Nightless city, and a-jie--”

“You had a lover?!”

“Not the point!”

“Who was it? Do I know her?”

“I’m not telling you!”

“Tell me and I’ll tell you why I think I came back too”

“Fine. On three.”

“Fine.”

“One. Two. Three: Nie Mingjue”

“I gave you my core. What do you mean Nie Mingjue?!”

“GAVE ME YOUR WHAT?!”

"Well it's not like you still have it!"

there’s more shouting (with both of them thinking their grievance is more important), and WWX explains and JC rages and lets slip that “what’s the point of distracting the guards if you just throw it away?!” “...what guards? Jiang Cheng you better not mean what I think you mean!” “Or fucking what?!” Eventually, both of them crying, they hug it out. WWX offers to let JC disown him and JC is like “that’s what got us into this mess to begin with. You’re my brother. You’re stuck with me.” And is honestly surprised when WWX is ecstatic.

The next morning Yanli is like “are you okay? There was shouting?”

But they’re like “we’re cool”

Next time: Cloud Recesses and the one braincell trio plan a war

#mingcheng #the untamed #note!fic

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