#i spent so long on this but imo worth it

[dalishthunder]

Had a treat myself day today which is always bad news for my wallet but like... i can't wait for my new dice and dice tray to arrive :3

#odt #i spent so much but also hand crafted fine woodwork is worth it imo #and i've been neglecting getting a dice tray for too long

[nicki0kaye]

random Kallus hc inspired by someone else's post #2

man he's gotta hate that he lost his bo-rifle to fucking Thrawn

like so the moral of the Honorable Ones to me was Kallus realizing he has nothing of value in his life--he has TWO personal items to his name; this fuckin glow rock and his bo-rifle which he has just learned is his by right. Regardless of what he did to Lasan, regardless of all the awful reasons he should never be accepted by any of his enemies, that fucking bo-rifle is his and no Honor Guard of Lasan can argue otherwise. There are a lot of reasons he turns on the Empire, but this is where it starts. The realization his life is so small and so empty, and he just limped back to it. Why? Why is this life worth living? And with more research, it stops being a selfish desire to ditch and becomes an informed hatred of the Empire, BUT

lets go back to that kernel of rebellion. Kallus' life is small and empty. He's got a Rock and Bo-Rifle. That's all that defines him outside his identity as a ISB officer.

He just acquired the Rock. He's been living with bo-rifle as his single defining trait for maybe a decade at this point. It's an extension of his beef with Lasat in general, which started on Onderon when one blew up his first Big Boy Mission. It makes sense he'd fixate on such a traumatic event but it's not JUST that. You don't get to have personal hobbies or a sense of fashion or really any kind of identity within the Empire outside who you personally want to fuck up. Kallus chose the Lasat and got fucking spiteful about it, which led him to the Siege of Lasan, where he won his bo-rifle.

but like, it's more than that. It isn't just hatred--if it were, I don't think Zeb would have gotten to him. I think that Kallus has had a buried respect for the Lasat for a long time, if only because of how much time and effort it took to win and then become proficient with the bo-rifle. Then there's the layer of it being the only true outlet for identity he's allowed. THEN there's the fact the bo-rifles are a Force weapon. They've got kyber crystals inside them. And I personally subscribe to the idea that everyone can sense the Force, thus be guided by the Force, it's just that not everyone can recognize what is intuition/one's own emotions and what is the Force, nevermind having an ability to influence other shit with the Force.

What I'm trying to say is I wanna believe Kallus bonded with his bo-rifle in a cosmic way. He is the Warrior, hunting the future; the Force always had plans for his ass and saw that a Force-conductive weapon made its way into his hands, that he then spent years becoming deadly with. That fucking weapon is connected to his soul.

and he lost it to Thrawn.

Thrawn didn't beat him in a fight while Kallus was armed with his bo-rifle, but he super beat his ass in a fight. Even if Kallus could argue he didn't earn the bo-rifle, Kallus couldn't retrieve it before having to gtfo. It's still somewhere on Thrawn's stupid ship--my assumption is that Thrawn goes and adds it to his collection of stolen artwork.

Regardless, Kallus doesn't have it anymore. This thing he poured what little identity he was allowed to maintain, years of hard work and practice and countless battles where he relied on it to keep him alive as his primary weapon, nevermind a Force connection, anyone would become attached to a weapon after years of service. This reminder of Lasan, this piece of history, its fucking gone now.

I don't think he'd think he's allowed to mourn that, considering all he's done, but you can't logic away your feelings, and now he's with a group of ppl who actively find that kind of coping pretty fucking unhealthy. At some point he's gonna have to process what that weapon meant to him and its not gonna be pretty.

imo, he gets a tat of it on the forearm of his dominant hand. He'd think about it for a long time but only go through with it after finally discussing all his mixed up feelings with Zeb, who would super approve of him paying his respects to a sacred fuckin weapon this way. It was his, by right, by soul, by will of the Ashla.

#nik v sw #kallus

[liesmyth]

something that i think is so interesting in nona the ninth is that we really see that the nine houses have varying levels of loyalty to/cooperation with the emperor. the most clear example is of course everything going on with the sixth house, but also when aiglamene says that the last time the emperor's intelligence sent someone to the ninth house they 'dropped [them] off eleven hours from the prison with ten hours' worth of air'. that being said, what do you think are the other houses' actual relationship with/feelings towards emperor?

Ohh yes I love those worldbuilding details we get in Nona! Some thoughts—sorry, this got long.

How (I think) the Empire is structured

From what little we know of the political structure in the Empire, I get the vibe that the Houses are mostly left to themselves, govern themselves autonomously, and make alliances with each other, without a solid formal structure in place above them. Many major political events happen without anyone even considering that the Emperor should be consulted on them: Harrow was worried about the Ninth becoming a vassal of the Fifth or Third if they should apply for relief; the Fifth have a lot of influence over the Fourth and “dynastic ambition”; the Ninth were left free to completely isolate themselves for eighteen years.

The Empire appears to be pretty decentralised on matters of internal governance, which I think fits with John's whole deal. He isn't very hands-on, he historically has spent decades a universe away from the Houses, and he doesn't care about the details. IMO, there's a marked difference between intra-Houses governance and the "Imperial" agenda.

1—Internally, the Emperor is very much the ultimate authority… IF ONLY he bothered to yield it, which he doesn’t. Partly because John is just Like That, and partly because he operates on a completely different timescale. But he does have the authority: when he decides to summon the House heirs, they come; when many of them die, there's no noticeable political fallout: he leaves for the Mithraeum, expecting to be away for at least five years with no communication, and that's not seen as an issue. He obviously doesn’t have to explain himself to anyone, and his authority is not even in question.

There's a mention in GtN of "Imperial law" that forbids necromancers from marrying out of House, but IMO 'Imperial' refers to the fact that it applies to every House, not that John came up with it. The Houses are so jealous of their own resources that they don't want their necromancers to affiliate with others; I think this is a law that suits the Houses first and foremost, and John couldn’t care less. In general, I think House leaders are very happy that the Emperor is so hands-off on internal matters, and this has been the case for most (if not all) of their recorded history.

2— Externally, though! The Houses are absolutely united when it comes to their equivalent of foreign policy, which is mostly handled by the Cohort. Interstellar travel seems to be regulated through military channels, and I would bet that a sizeable portion of the internal economy of the Empire is centred on the Cohort. Note that the "contracts" with the "shepherded planets" are between each planet and John himself—he's A LOT more involved when it comes to military matters. Even on the Mithraeum in HtN he's looking at reports and briefing—and when he's around he always resides with the Cohort and definitely makes executive decisions.

I think it's pretty interesting that John is a near-mythical figure to the Houses but Cohort personnel actually interact with him on a regular basis. Like, I bet that leaders of the Houses have no idea what the Emperor actually looks like outside of religious imagery, but there's a twenty-something junior officer who brings him coffee every morning. I think it's fascinating—temporal power vs. spiritual power; he's a religious figure to most of the Empire, but to the extent to which he's "Emperor" of anything, in a concrete, mundane sense, it's the Cohort. And I think that Cohort higher-ups have a lot of sway over the Houses (veering into headcanon land but @theriverbeyond made the excellent point that Cohort command probably have Opinions about the leaders of each House and can influence the decision to some extent)

Each House's relationship with the Emperor

We don't know much about it so it's all speculation babey!

The Second: THE favoured child. The fandom focuses on the Fifth and Third being rich and influential, and they sure are, but that’s based on Gideon’s POV (as filtered through Harrow’s knowledge) which about who is currently on top of the House scheming game. I think the Second just don’t care about House scheming because they are THE Officer House; the Cohort is based in Trentham, and I’m sure there’s a disproportionate percentage of Second House members among their leadership. The leader of the Second is the top brass (Judith’s dad is the Fleet Admiral—that’s a five stars rank) and as of NtN, he has enough pull to antagonise a Lyctor over supply lines. The Second absolutely enjoy privileged access to the Emperor and have a lot of power from it. The Third: we don't know! I think they are one of the Houses who are really really happy that God is off playing star wars and they can do their thing. Also, I think there are many commercial ties between the Third and the Cohort (and by extension, imperial authority) because a lot of the wealth within the internal economy of the Houses absolutely comes from military contracts. The Fourth: Fidelity facing ahead. The bomb kids. They seem to be somewhat subordinated both to the Fifth (at least currently) and to the Second (who, again, lead the Cohort) and probably don't do much scheming of their own. The Fifth: like the Third, I think they are very happy the Emperor is off with the Cohort. I think they have a perfectly civil, friendly relationship with the concept of imperial authority. Like the Third, it's very likely that their economy goes to supplying the Cohort with resources instead of troops, and they get rich from it. The Sixth: this is INTERESTING! They held a vote and decided to secede, but we don't know if the choice was unanimous (I doubt it!) or if there have been reactions from the population of the House (because the decision iirc was made by the Oversight Committee). We know a lot about the Sixth's inner workings, more than any other House barring the Ninth, and they actually send a considerable percentage of their small population to the Cohort. Their entire reproductive strategy of "diversifying the gene pool" relies HEAVILY on sending many people off-House (= to the Cohort) and as far as we know those people are still there.

I doubt the break clause is widely known among the wider Sixth population, because the secession seems to have come as a surprise to the Cohort (or at least Ianthe, who has access to their intelligence). Do all, or any, of the Sixth's people within the Cohort know what happened, or do they think the installation was destroyed? Basically, I don't know if "okay, let's secede" was as simple of a situation as Camilla makes it seem—and she explained about it when talking to Nona, so I bet it isn't.

Another thing worth noting is that, as Cam says, they ultimately "left for a Lyctor". I think it makes a lot of sense for Former Contract Lawyer Cassiopeia (who I still believe came up with the lifetime contracts) to have founded her House with a stipulation in place that they could leave if they decided to—I think there might even be a chance she told John about it back when, though I doubt he ever knew that the Library installation could be packed up and moved. Basically: there are A LOT of implications and possible consequences to the secession, and IDK how it's going to turn out.

The Seventh: we know very little about them. Protesilaus was a duelling champion, so clearly they are plugged into the "social scene" of the Houses—that's all I got

The Eight: very into the worship of the Emperor as "God," but I think they're more into their own interpretation of what the religious precepts of the Houses ought to be than what the God-Emperor actually wants. (Which I think suits John just fine). See Silas having a portrait of the Emperor in his room but also being the only one to say "God was wrong" re: Lyctoral process. I think the Eight like the idea of the Emperor as a symbol of authority, both religious and political (the two are one and the same to them) but they're very happy that he's off warring in the stars so they don't have to actually listen to anything he has to say.

The Ninth: I think the Ninth like the Emperor just fine, but from far away. They worship and respect him through the lenses of their brand of religion, focused on the Tomb. They clearly aren't involved in the running of the space prison, and the whole House seem to have been a religious hermitage at the edge of the Empire before they shut the House to pilgrims. I think John tries not to think about the Ninth at all, because Alecto, and they are mutually very happy each doing their thing.

EDIT: I originally wrote "I think Aiglamene's line about kicking off Intelligence officers is not necessarily a reflection on their stance on the imperial government; simply a consequence of the fact that they were hushing up the death of an entire generation of Ninth children and didn't want the intelligence guys poking around" but I was wrong there—the Ninth kicking out the bureau guys precedes the child murders. That points to a bigger distrust for military / Cohort / imperial authority than I initially considered, but I don't think it changes much. They're fine sending people to the Cohort and praying to God, but want to be left alone to run themselves

(SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG :D)

#tlt thoughts #the nine houses #ejg #tlt meta #tlt #anonymous #ask

[scope-dogg]

What mecha shows did you enjoy but would not recommend to people (flawed personal favourites, shows with high entry barrier, etc.)?

Several come to mind.

Blue SPT Layzner: TV run got shitcanned prematurely and has probably the mast slapdash ending of any mecha show save maybe the TV run of Ideon. OVA adaptation opens with rushed compilation of first half of TV series that's dull to watch and not especially coherent on its own before it gets to the altered and much improved ending. Feels like there's no right way to watch it, you have to do both and piece it together in your head. Definitely one to check out after you've seen Takahashi's better work like Votoms and Dougram, though it's infuriating because the series has banger music and mecha design, and the hypothetical ideal version of the plot that you don't have to basically kitbash together in your head is really good.

Dancouga: Production values are amazing in first episodes and then turn to complete dogshit shortly thereafter, like they literally spent their whole budget up front and then had to pay their animators in loose change and leftover fast food. Very strange pacing. However I've always really liked the main protagonist Shinobu Fujiwara whose voice actor honestly carries the show on his back, and I've had a soft spot for Dancouga the mecha itself for a long time - but it doesn't actually show up until half way in. Yet somehow I can't deny the charm of the show despite how slapdash it is thanks to its interesting approach to the super robot formula, and it leads into Requiem for Victims which is the true ending for the TV plot and a followup called God Bless Dancouga, both of which are banger OVAs (and then another kinda shitty one after that but who cares.) Unfortunately they all make no sense without watching the TV run. It's a franchise for hardcore mecha fans only, though IIRC the 2000s sequel Dancouga Nova is basically disconnected and stands on its own, for better or worse. I've yet to watch it.

Tryder G7: 80s super robot show that's kind of like a part slice-of-life anime, honestly ahead of its time in a lot of ways. Would be my go-to recommendation for 80s super robot shows if there was a decent fansub. The one that exists is a Russian translation of the official Italian subs that then got translated into English and it's as disastrous as you might expect. Not only is it incoherent but even as a non-Japanese speaker I can tell it's often inaccurate. Frustrating because I can tell it's a good show that deserves a proper English sub for fans.

Cross Ange: Notorious show by the Gundam Seed creators. The concept and lore of this show is batshit insane, the mecha are cool, the main character turns out to be interesting and likable despite very negative first impressions, however there's no denying that it's buried under a thick vaneer of shallow coombait and it runs itself off the rails with zany plot at points. Honestly better than its reputation suggests but hard to recommend without looking like a pervert.

Shinkon Gattai Godannar: Basically the same thing, coombait super robot series, fun action, not a bad story. At the same time if you've ever seen a gif of absurd breast physics in anime from the 2000s there's a decent chance it's from Godannar. Good show at the end of the day, better than it has a right to be, artstyle is gonna be a big turnoff for many people and I don't necessarily blame them.

Gundam Build Divers Re:Rise: Probably the weirdest of the build series, also IMO the best. Downside: you have to suffer through the profoundly mediocre original Build Divers to get the most out of it and I'm not sure that price is worth it.

Probably more that I could add. Honourable mention has to go Gundam Seed Stargazer because you have to suffer through Gundam Seed Destiny to get to it, but I hear that the new Gundam Seed movie that's also set after Destiny is good so perhaps the cost-to-benefit ratio of suffering through Destiny has changed.

[blue-chimera]

I've seen people suggest that Dean or Bobby should've caught on to soulless!Sam a lot faster. I don't think that's entirely fair.

First, Bobby: I don't think soulless!Sam spent much time with him before the start of the season. He wouldn't have had a reason to. But as far as Dean goes, well, Dean suspects that something's wrong pretty early on. He just doesn't know what. And it muddies the water enormously when Sam tells him that he remembers his time in the Cage, leading Dean (at first!) to the pretty reasonable conclusion that Hell & hunting solo have just hardened Sam, made him a lot more callous since Dean last saw him.

Further complicating matters is the fact that soulless!Sam went through all the standard tests to prove himself when he first showed up (silver, salt, holy water), ruling out any of the obvious suspects for altered behavior right off the bat. Still...

despite having no good evidence of anything supernatural afoot, Dean is noticeably disturbed by Sam's attitude when they hunt together in E2 & in E3 "The Third Man" (when Cas inflicts excruciating pain on a child for information & Sam hardly blinks).

Then, we only get a glimpse of them in E4 "Weekend at Bobby's," but what we do see is Dean continuing to express his concerns about Sam (while Bobby is — reasonably enough! — distracted by his own concerns). And then, of course, by the end of E5 "Live Free or Twihard," Dean finally has what he feels is sufficient proof to say, "Whatever he is, he's not my brother." And at this point, Dean seems confident enough about everything he's seen/heard to want to kill Sam. (Or rather, what he thinks is an imposter using Sam's body.)

Bobby temporarily persuades Dean to hold off, but by the end of E6, the jig is up.

IMO, what it boils down to is this: Dean is suspicious of Sam's behavior almost from the very beginning, but, well, it's Sam. Sam, who he thought was dead (and trapped in Hell with Lucifer himself) for an entire year. And he really just wants to believe that Sam is back & that he's okay. He wants it so bad he can't even stand to question it at first. That's why Dean doesn't do any of the standard tests on him when Sam first shows up (and why Soulless!Sam ends up doing them all on himself). Dean says it's because he just "knows" it's really Sam, but he's not stupid. He knows the (now-standard) precautions. So that's 100% his heart talking, not his head.

When he's finally recovered enough from the shock to start being suspicious, the suspicions pile up quick. But Dean doesn't have enough information to act on them (when "acting on them" means turning on Sam). Until, finally, in E5, he gets what he feels is cold, hard proof.

[It's also worth pointing out that a lot of Dean's mental & emotional energy is focused on his relationship with Lisa & Ben at this time. He loves Sam. He wants to hunt with him. And he wants to know what's going on with him. But he's also trying to integrate a long-distance relationship (with a family) into hunting. And that's not easy.]

#dean winchester #understanding dean winchester #sam winchester #soulless!sam #spn meta #spn #dean studies #bobby singer

[venus616]

these days; {tasm!peter parker}

Pairing: tasm!peter parker x f!reader (but you can interpret this as any peter parker), tom holland x f!reader

Summary: your way, i'm tryna understand these days… i need to know if you're feelin' it or i'm wasting my time, your way or mine (lyrics by wallows these days)

translation: (part two to daddy issues! pls read part one here if u are intrigued :')) college student!reader attempting to understand where she stands with peter now that their relationship developed, but not in the way she had hoped

Warnings: dilf!peter, smut, vaginal fingering/sex, oral sex, blowjob, masturbation, age difference, spanking, daddy kink, dacryphilia if you squint, mean peter kinda? he gets possessive at some parts, alcohol mentions, food mention, language, cheating, unprotected sex, 18+, NSFW

Word Count: 14.3k

read part one | two | read part three | read part four || series playlist • series status: complete

A/N: FORMERLY blkgwenstacy but i changed my username! bad summary once again but this + daddy issues and the next two parts (i plan to write) are gonna be part of the same series! i think this installment can work as a stand alone but this story has more plot imo

August - 

Your irritating alarm on your phone went off. You shot awake due to your lack of sleep from last night then turned over to the reason why. You rolled on your side to face Peter, his eyes still closed but his lips forming into a smile. “Don’t say it.” He states, still refusing to open his eyes. You giggle at his refusal to be awake on a Saturday morning at 6 am. Since it was still the summer, the sun peeking out from his blinds was not helping his agenda for sleeping in. 

“You need to get up.” You say in a pleading whisper, knowing his son, Ben, would be up in about three hours. See, you and Peter have developed a few habits in the short time you’ve spent together. As you guys have been hooking up, (which is what you resigned yourself to call it as there has been no formalities put in place) whenever you guys decide to be intimate, which is often, you only come to Peter’s apartment after Ben is tucked in and leave before he wakes up. It had its flaws because you could barely get sleep on those nights, but with the way Peter made you feel, it was worth it. It was a time crunch outside of the limited hours spent together because sometimes you wanted to wake up and spend quality time with Peter that you couldn’t do if Ben wasn’t at Aunt May’s.

It wasn’t that Ben didn’t know you, but you and Peter knew better that it was better to not confuse him with the constant presence of his father’s 20 year old neighbor. You knew that the part Peter omitted from this reasoning was because he didn’t see it being long term, but let him tell it, he says Ben’s not ready to see any woman constantly around. 

Either way, you understood, even if Peter didn’t realize you did. Which made these compromises so much more frustrating. Peter officially woke up by rubbing his eyes and rolling on his back before sitting up. He turned over to you laid on your side, hips looking particularly tempting with his bedsheets draped across them, you wearing nothing but your underwear from last night. 

“Breakfast is kinda overrated don’t you think?” Peter whined before reaching over to cup your ass, about to kiss you. 

“I don’t know Pete, I think Ben’s gotten to like my pancakes that you continue to pass off as your own.” You push his head to the side, refusing his kiss as a way to feign being mad at him. 

“I don’t know what you expect me to do. Tell him the pancake fairy made them?” He scoffed at your accusation, hands ghosting your hips once more and this time you don’t swat him because you’re too busy giggling at his stupid joke. 

He took this opportunity to jump back in between the sheets with you bringing your hips against his. Nuzzling his head in between your head and shoulder. 

“5 more minutes? I already know what I want to eat today anyway.” He says before bringing one of his legs in between yours to spread you apart, cupping your forming heat. You bite back a moan. 

“Tempting.” You croak out, eyes meeting him as he looks back up to you. As you go back in to kiss him you’re reminded of the day and narrow your eyes at him, leaving him hanging as he never felt your lips meet his. 

“What?” He sighs, drooping his face down to the bed in disappointment. 

“Did you make the reservation for the place tonight?” You say, not trusting Peter when it comes to these things because you know how unreliable he can be, for whatever reason. You didn’t want to come off as prying or clingy so you never asked, but you could tell he felt remorseful when he was late or had to cancel. 

“Yes I did. And it’s a non-refundable deposit this time so I can’t miss it even if I wanted to,” You scoffed at that, “which I don’t.” He attempts to save himself. “Because I can’t pass up an opportunity to see you in whatever tiny dress you’ll show up in.” He says cupping your face. 

“You mean tear me out of?” You sigh, gesturing to the pieces of fabric on the floor laying on the floor and the clothes of the past, particularly upset at the expensive lingerie that he’s ripped off. 

“We both know you like wearing my clothes more anyway.” You could feel him smirking as he said that leaned into your neck. 

“You give me no choice.” You exclaim, ticklish at the bass of his voice against your skin.

You both make your way to the kitchen as you get back into your ritualistic routine of making breakfast for each other (& for Ben when he wakes up) with soft music playing in the background. You were wearing one of his oversized sleeping shirts and your underwear, mixing the pancake batter for Ben and Peter. Peter was shirtless with gray sweatpants on, working on the eggs for you and him.

It was a mystery the type of effect Peter had on you, the absence of fear and stress you had when you were around him was an addictive feeling so you had grown attached. There was something to be said about how you would hang on his every word, but you weren’t acknowledging it because ignorance was bliss. 

“So what time should I be ready?” You say, licking the mixing spoon as you placed the bowl of remaining mix in his sink. Peter placed your plates on the dining table and you quickly joined after grabbing the fresh toast, spoon in hand. You placed his in between his teeth which caused him to muffle a “fhanks” as he chewed. 

He swallowed a bite to answer. “I have to drop off Ben but the place is nearby May’s so you can meet me at the restaurant? I got us a private booth so you can just ask for my name when you come in.” He stated, shifting full focus on his plate. 

Your face faltered at that, a bit disappointed he wasn’t going to formally pick you up and walk you there, but you understood that he had priorities so you quickly shifted your focus elsewhere. 

“A private booth? Oh Peter you’re making me swoon.” You smile while running your foot up his leg from underneath the table. He looks up at you, forking his eggs as he smiles at you. 

“It’ll be like it’s our little secret.” He says grabbing your hand from across the table. You almost visibly grimace from his words, embarrassed at the statement. It was moments like this where you can’t help what you feel with the sort of arrangement you found yourself tied up in. 

-

The restaurant was gorgeous. You had never been here before so you relied on the address Peter texted to you, finding yourself in the middle of uptown Manhattan. It had a garden in the back that was almost like its own private central park, perfect for strolling right after dinner. You felt a bit silly getting out of the cab and walking in alone, like you weren’t meeting a man who had been playing your boyfriend for the past few weeks. Of course, you had to remind yourself he wasn’t necessarily your boyfriend in the first place. You were brought out of your thoughts when the greeters called out for your attention. 

Shaking out of your thoughts, you asked for Peter’s name. 

“Reservation for Parker?” You stated, not knowing how things like this worked at places like these but hoping you for it right. As the waiter scanned the list he nodded before asking you to follow him in. 

The waiter walked you to the private booth to find Peter in a two piece suit looking amazing. He was in a button up that was definitely meant for a tux as you saw how tailored it was for him. You were drooling so much you almost forgot yourself until his jaw was on the floor when he saw you.

You were in a little black dress that brought attention to Peter’s favorite parts about you, which was everything truth be told. Your breasts were being held up by two thin straps of the dress with a dip of cleavage that Peter found himself particularly drawn to when he stood up to greet you. 

“You look amazing, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to pick you up but now I’m kinda glad I didn’t or else we wouldn’t have been able to make it on time.” He stated before bringing you into a hug where he squeezed your ass, making you gasp in his ear. His dick twitched at the sound, already plotting on how he was gonna treat you tonight. 

After you two sat down and ordered, the waiter quickly retrieved your menus and found yourself almost kicking your feet from the way he looked at you. 

“Take a picture, it'll last longer.” You say attempting to make him laugh. You succeed as the crinkles by his eyes appear once again. 

“Don’t tempt me baby, you know I’m still a photographer.” He reminded you. Your stomach did flips at his pet name usage, you weren’t sure if you were ever gonna get used to his verbal affection. 

“I thought it was just a hobby now,” You bite back. 

“Now it is, ever since Ben came into my life I decided that it was better to keep it as a hobby instead of a career. But I used to be really good with the camera if I do say so myself.” 

“Oh I know.” You quirk up your eyebrow in response. 

He squints at you. “You do?”

“Your photos on your night stand and the bulletin board of your old work at The Daily Bugle are not very discreet, Peter.” He clenches his jaw at your observations, realizing you’ve probably seen the pictures of the mother of his child.

You notice his sudden tension and reach over for his hand on the table. 

“You were really good,” You reassure him but try to move away from the sensitive topic that was probably on his mind. “I just don’t understand how you always got such good pictures of Spider-Man, were you a fanboy?” You joke. He smiled softly at that, his eyes twinkling when he looked back at you.

You don’t know why you skated around the obvious but you knew you didn’t want to ruin one of these special moments you had with Peter with something as sensitive as that. You knew when he was ready, if he was ever going to be ready, that he would trust you enough to tell you what happened. 

-

After the meal he suggested you guys take a stroll in the back which you raised your eyebrow to. 

“What if people see us?” You joked, gesturing vaguely to the secrecy of this date that he emphasized. 

“Look at how empty it is.” He steps out to the quietness of the garden, twinkling with lights. He grins before leaning in to kiss you and there it is. The back and forth that you go back to whenever he says something like this. You know he’s not necessarily ashamed of you, but maybe about his involvement with you which you know is just as bad. You get distracted as you find yourself enamored in his kiss before he breaks away. 

He intertwined his fingers with yours before leading you around the park, stopping every now and then to admire the beauty. He fidgeted around a bit behind you but you pretended not to notice, letting the silence hang in the air as you took in the fresh air. 

“Her name was Gwen.” He states when you’re leaning down to look into the koi pond. 

“What?” You say off guard, almost slipping in before you feel his arms wrap around you. He holds your waist as you attempt to stay on your feet.

“The girl you see in my pictures, around my place. Her name was Gwen.” He says, scanning your face for a reaction. 

“Oh.” You sigh. Not knowing how to proceed because you don’t know what questions are the right ones to ask. This is probably the most vulnerable you two have gotten since you started sneaking around with him. 

“She died a year after having Ben. I haven’t really dated around since then.” He said. He let go of you before taking your hands in his again. 

“She was really beautiful.” You comment, rubbing your empty hand along his arm, attempting to comfort him. He looked pensive, as if he was wondering if he should say more. 

“She was.” He forced a smile. “We met in high school and,” He sighed for a bit, probably deciding whether or not he wanted to continue. Your eyes flicker to the ground before looking back up to him when he continues. 

“Well, you know the rest.” He choked as he bit back tears  but you could see them swelling in his eyes. Your heart broke at this, feeling bad that he felt the need to explain but you understood a little more why he treated this relationship so delicately. At least, you understood why he would. 

“Hey,” You call for his attention, forcing him to look at you again. “Peter, it's okay.” You murmured. He sniffled before wiping the tears that escaped. You two sat down next to the pond before you could say anything. 

“I’m really sorry.” You stated, reaching to grab his hand. You then tighten your hold on him. “I’m sorry if you felt obligated to explain yourself to me. I know I can be difficult but,” He cuts you off shaking his head. 

“Don’t do that, this isn’t your fault.” He paused, sighing out, “I’m sorry that you got into a relationship with a guy like me.” He let it slip out before both of you could realize.

“Relationship?” You question, choosing to ignore his not so subtle self deprecation.

“Whatever this is,” He takes it back. Peter knows that saying it aloud only makes it more real. 

“Where do you see this going Peter?” You ask, not allowing him to get away from you that easily. You don’t look at him, afraid of the reaction you’ll receive. You stare ahead of yourself looking at the pathway of stone, leading to the next sector of the garden. 

He sighs. “I don’t know Y/N. You kinda came out of nowhere if I’m being honest.” You whip your head to his direction and see him smiling. You couldn’t place how you felt hearing him say that. 

Peter was special to you, granted in more ways than one. The fact that he couldn’t even answer your question brought you some concerns that you previously pushed to the back of your head. You didn’t want to question the man who has brought you so much peace in this transition of your life, but he is simultaneously disrupting it when he says shit like this, so you do. 

“Was I supposed to send you a heads up?” You scoff. You playfully elbowed his side out of annoyance. 

“I’m sorry, I just want to enjoy this. I want to enjoy you.” He emphasizes, taking your chin in his hand as he stops you from moving any further. 

The rational part of you could see what he meant immediately. He didn’t see this going beyond a fling as he couldn’t even call you his girlfriend. But the side of you that wasn’t thinking straight held onto the fact that he saw you at all. The amount of trust you’ve put in him triumphed over whatever he said when he touched you.

He got you again and you were staring deep into his eyes. You could never stay mad at him for long so you folded immediately when he smiled at you. His arms made their way to the middle of your body and held you by the small of your back. He nuzzled his head in the crook of your shoulders, tickling you with kisses, and giving you a burn with his grown out beard. You giggled due to the ticklishness and sensitivity of your neck.

“I hate you.” You say, breathing out as he stopped to stare at you again when he returned to his previous position.

He smiles. “No you don’t.” He leans in to kiss your cheek, meeting your forehead and nose with his shortly after. 

You exhale, shaking your head. 

“I could never hate you.” You say softly. It was barely above a whisper but you know he heard you.

He always heard you. 

-

You woke up beside Peter the next morning. Your head was on his chest softly exhaling since he was still asleep. 

Last night's events were more than expected. After you and Peter spoke little to nothing about your current relationship status, you two walked home and he tore off your clothes. 

As usual. 

You detach yourself from his body causing him to stir from the brief loss of contact. He flips onto his stomach and you giggle at his movements. You reach over to the bedside where his camera laid, being used last night as a way to prove just how good of a photographer he was. You were a little embarrassed at how vulnerable you were to him last night but was flattered that you were momentarily his muse. Then, you think about how cute it would be have the tables turn when you decide to pick it up from the night stand. 

You snap a few photos of him, with your knees on either side of the back of his legs. Before you could scroll through the gallery to choose which ones to delete and keep your phone starts vibrating on your bedside. You put down the camera and see it’s your mom calling. 

Quickly, you pull on one of Peter’s nearest t-shirts and go outside his room to pick up. 

“Hey mom,” you say, a bit groggy since you had just woken up. 

“Hey Y/N. I was in the city today and I was calling to ask if you wanted to have lunch later. Maybe 12?”

You check the time and look back at the closed door. 

“It’s kinda cutting it close don’t you think?” You try to shrug off her invite.

“Oh, did you have a crazy Saturday night?” She remarks, laughing at your obvious exhaustion over the phone.

“Something like that.” You state meekly, heat rising to your cheeks over the phone. “I was on a date.” You cringe as you let the words slip out. 

“With him?” She yells over the phone, “Your little boyfriend,” She says in a sing-song voice to mock your previous lovesick conversations about him. 

Not that you ever brought him up on purpose, but she could tell from the way you carry yourself when you guys meet up that you were very much in love. But you never called it that, since Peter didn’t, your mom made a point that you knew it once she pulled the very minor details (ie; everything except his age and the fact that she’s met him before) out of you. 

“Did he finally ask you to be his girlfriend?” She eagerly asks. 

“No.” You answer honestly. There’s silence before she starts. 

“How long has this been going on?” She reminds you. 

“Mom.” You groan.

“I’m serious Y/N” You move your phone away from your face as she barks over the phone to collect yourself before you answer. 

You bring the phone back to your face. “It’s been two months but please don’t make this a big deal. I told you we don’t even want anyone to know.” You hiss over the phone so you don’t completely wake Peter up. 

You can hear your mom sigh before starting an inevitable lecture.

“You both don’t want anyone to know or he doesn’t want anyone to know? Because there’s a difference Y/N.” She answers honestly.

“He hasn’t claimed you as his partner but you’re still with him when you know you want more. And that’s the problem.” You can feel your heart beating faster as she says this, feeling angrier.

“Mom. I’m not coming today if you talk about this.” You say honestly. Your attitude started to show out so she backed off, knowing relationships are a sore subject with you. 

“Fine. But Y/N remember that whoever this boy is,” You silently huff at the usage of “boy”. “if he’s got you feeling like this and a title is what you want, it isn’t worth waiting around for. Trust me.” She says genuinely. You can hear the concern in her voice but you hear Peter calling out for you groggily. 

“I’ll see you at 3 then?” She says, voice coated in hope that you’ll join her.

“Yeah, fine. Bye.” You say dryly. You felt bad at how short you were being with her but you couldn’t stand the comments especially because you heard enough of it from yourself. 

All she did was confirm your stress and it was making you all the more anxious of your future with Peter. 

Or lack thereof.

You hang up as soon as she says her goodbyes.

You see that you have a few more hours with Peter before he’d go to pick up Ben and you meet up with your mom so you go take advantage of all the affection you could. 

You enter back in his bedroom to see him still in bed with the sheets covering only his lower half. 

You return back to your sleeping position after placing your phone on the nightstand and place your head back on his chest as you go back in to lay down with him. 

He feels your presence and smothers you, catching you off guard causing you to giggle. His playfulness calming you down from the phone call that caused you to be flustered. 

“Missed you.” He said, stroking your back.  

“Peter, I was only gone for 5 minutes.” You fire back. You decide to wrap your leg around his and sit back up on his lap, your heat meeting his crotch causing him to groan.

“So?” He quirks up his eyebrow before he leans up to kiss you, but not without grinding his hips into yours.

-

September -

Your third year of college came in full swing and you found yourself constantly at school in attempts to finish your homework on top of your double shifts in the campus cafe. You saw Peter significantly less as he returned to Ben’s school schedule on top of his work schedule.

You had wished he made more of an effort to compromise outside of sex because you valued his presence, but his priorities changed as he saw you less. 

As a result you’ve resorted to only seeing him on the weekends, late at night. This wasn’t necessarily new, but it caused some distance as you could clearly see the different stages of your life in perspective now. Especially when it was a Saturday night and you were with your friends at a friend’s party, hoping to make your rounds but dropping it all when you saw his text to come over after he put his son to bed. 

You felt bad, but you liked him. You just felt worse lying to your friends as they didn’t even know it was a boy you were leaving them for. It usually went something like last weekend. 

You would be laughing with your friends as they swayed to the music of a poorly lit apartment living room, exchanging details about majors to anyone new you met. You would feel your phone vibrate in your pocket and knew what that meant, since anyone else that would text you on a Saturday night was in the same building as you. 

12:10 am: Come over. 

12:11 am: Ben’s asleep. ;)

You attempted to hide your excitement and excused yourself from the conversation you were currently having. 

12:12 am: i’m at a party tho 

You started a mental checklist of what you were going to say when your friends were gonna inevitably question you for leaving. 

12:13 am: Please come?

You couldn’t help but grin before tapping your response. 

12:13 am: u know i love it when u beg 

You put your phone away and breathe out a content sigh before going up to the friend that invited you all and the host to say your goodbyes. 

“There she goes again.” They slur, toeing the line between tipsy and drunk before giving you the obligatory goodbye. 

“I’m sorry babe, I’ll see you Monday?” You reassure before saying bye to the rest of your friends. 

They all nod with an underlying smirk. You know what they want to say but they know that you’ll immediately deny it, as you have before. You shoot them a knowing glance as you exit their building taking the nearest subway to see Peter. 

One thing you wished was just for some reciprocation though. For example, like today. You had an opportunity to see him as one of your afternoon classes was canceled. 

You knew Peter had flexible hours with the lab he worked at, especially during the school year because of all the new graduate and undergraduate assistants being able to help. With his seniority there, he was able to call out any time which is how he was able to spend time with you when he wanted to, while Ben was with May over the summer. So you texted him, not expecting the response you were going to get due to the prior context. 

The text thread was as followed: 

11:03 am: “pete! i have the next few hours free bc my next class was canceled” 

11:03 am: “wanna come over?”

You tapped your foot impatiently waiting for him to answer while you were still in the back of your current lecture hall, switching from your laptop open with a tab of notes to your message screen in your phone. The prospect of Peter made you impatient as you missed him, since you went from seeing him almost everyday to once-twice a week in less than a month.

11:09 am: “I can’t. Still at the lab.”

Your face visibly dropped at the response, causing your friend to look over at you in confusion before you exited the message tab. You look at them and shake your head claiming it was nothing before you quickly tapped back a message once they nodded in understanding. 

11:09 am: “:( u can’t leave early? & doesn’t Ben get out at 3?”

You attempted to distract yourself by actually focusing on the lecture, knowing that the remaining minutes would only draw out in your head if you focused on Peter more than the content. Of course, your attention shifted back when you had a back to back vibration. 

11:20 am: “No. I’m sorry.”

11:21 am: “Maybe I’ll see you tonight.”

You sighed out reading his polite rejection coupled with his assumption that you’d answer to his every whim.

He was right, unfortunately. 

But you couldn’t tonight even if you wanted to. You had work until 10 pm and had some readings you needed to get done for your class tomorrow. Normally you would’ve told him that but you were so upset with the circumstances that you shut off your phone and sighed before packing up your stuff after the professor dismissed class to go to the library, thinking that you might as well be productive. 

-

Later on that same day, you were working late in front of the house waiting to close up until you heard someone coming in. You roll your eyes in annoyance and still don’t tear your eyes away from your notebook next to your open book, mentally preparing to ring someone up or make their coffee. 

You had been visibly down the entire day not just due to Peter but what it meant for him to say that when you know you’d drop everything for him. You knew it was silly and somewhat your own fault for letting it get to this point especially if you weren’t going to drop him anytime soon. 

Alas, it’s Tuesday night and you wanted nothing more than to go home but it was about 30 more minutes till you could even think about it. 

“Hi.” You furrow your eyebrows at the British accent and look up from your book to see a cute, boyish face smiling back at you.

You stand up straight and leave your pencil in between the closed book to face the register to ring him up for the bag of chips he has on the counter.

“Hi.” You quirk up your eyebrows before ringing his chips up. You patiently look at him in his eyes waiting for him to tell you his order, but he just stares back at you smiling so you prompt him.

“Anything else?” You attempt to say lightly, knowing if you don’t it can sound a bit mean. 

“Can I get an Americano? That’ll be it.” He says. You nod, a bit shocked he’d be getting espresso this late and this early in the semester but you weren’t one to judge, you were studying on the job. 

“7.50.” You say. As the typical exchange proceeds, you turn back around to make his drink. 

“This is a good book. Do you like it?” He states. You turn back around expecting him to be talking to someone else who just walked in but he was looking at you waiting for your response. 

You stammer before responding, shocked that he was actually speaking to you as there was no one else in the cafe. You remind yourself of the book you’re reading for your English class as there’s a discussion on the assigned chapters tomorrow. 

“Uh, kinda? It’s only for a class but I think it’s interesting.” You say, before turning back around to turn on the espresso machine. 

“Cool, what class is it for?” He asks. 

“English 300, 19th century English Literature.” You pipe back. You’re done making his drink by the time you turn back around. 

“Oh I took that last fall actually. Do you like it?” He says a quick thank you when he takes the drink out of your hands, fingers lingering on yours when he smiles at you. He made you blush at the action. 

You brush it off by pretending to think about your answer, placing your chin in between your index and thumb fingers before ultimately shaking your head. 

“Honestly? No. At least not so far. It’s just a bunch of pretentious English majors.” You joke before you realize through his reaction. His eyes widening before exhaling and chuckling. 

 “Oh my god, I’m sorry,” You laugh while he laughs with you. 

“Not all of you are pretentious,” You start before he cuts you off.

“No,” He shakes his head with a wide smile. “I’m not an English major. But I am a film major so I’m arguably more pretentious.” He stammers out before making both of you laugh, filling the silent cafe with the sound of you. 

You relax into a smile at how easygoing he is. Him being easy on the eyes didn’t hurt either. 

You let your confidence speak for you before you could even think twice. “Yeah well, you’re kinda cute so it hardly matters.” You turn around to wipe down your station before you can see his reaction, cringing at yourself for being so straightforward. 

“If the cute barista thinks I’m cute, can I get her name?” You hear him say. 

You wipe your hands on your apron before turning back around to study his face, a bit of blush remaining on his face. Presumably from your compliment. 

“Y/N.” You answer back, tilting your head to the side and he mocks you by mirroring your reaction causing you to laugh even more. 

He smiles at your reaction before answering. “I’m Tom. I would say it’s nice to meet you but I’m wondering why I haven’t seen you around before.” He inquires. 

You look at him inquisitively, surprised he’s being just as forward. 

“I like to think I’m always floating around campus, maybe you just weren’t looking hard enough.” You bite back, leaning forward on the counter. His lips form into a smile.

-

A few weeks pass after that encounter. You quickly fell into the habit of seeing him in between classes in his apartment which was closer to campus than yours. It sped up the dating process more than you expected because you two had a routine by the third date.

Throughout the week after your classes you spent time with Tom before your shifts at work. He eased into it by suggesting that he help you complete your readings before going in and he stayed at the cafe doing his own work, waiting for you to close up and come back to his place for the night. You obliged, not minding where this relationship would go, romantically or friendly as Tom made you feel very comfortable. 

By the end of the week, late Friday nights followed into the weekend by hanging out at your apartment to filter out the campus life which Tom enjoyed, so you two stayed holed up together throughout the weekend, for two weekends in a row. During these weekends, you were anxious with him just because you didn’t want to run into Peter and have to tell the entire truth of why you hadn’t been answering him around the clock like you usually would. 

However, there wouldn’t even be anything to explain as you guys weren’t there to have sex, but just because he liked your company. There were about 3 nights in a row where you guys actually finished movies before hooking up. You originally attributed it to him being passionate about films but you also came to the conclusion that he just found your commentary valuable and loved listening to you. Your friends eased your skepticism by saying, if he had wanted to just hook up or stay friends, he wouldn’t have cared all that much. 

Speaking of which, if you let your friends tell it, you two were inseparable, which you knew was somewhat true. Part of you worried if you were going too fast, but you knew that it was out of fear, especially after you spent your entire summer with a man who was emotionally unavailable. 

It caught you off guard because admittedly you didn’t know what you were doing. You were still sleeping with Peter but you progressively became more distant and he knew it. The last straw being when you didn’t come over to his place that Saturday night Tom shared his feelings for you. You found out at that moment that you reciprocated entirely, there was a cloud of doubt in your mind though, wishing it was Peter telling you this instead.

It was when you were walking to your apartment with Tom holding hands, giggling from a joke he had just made, but also just because he made you so happy, he blurted it out. 

“I like you.” He said, making you stop and look up at him in a bit of shock, still not completely sober so trying to formally process his words. 

“Tom,” You start, but you’re cut off. 

“No like, I really like you.” He emphasizes the “really” before chuckling and tightening his lips in a line before continuing. You stare at him in awe of his confession, knowing that it shouldn’t be as big of a deal as it is to you right now but it was. You weren’t used to these types of forward confessions unless it was layered with physical affection like Peter had done.You found your heart fluttering as he continued, finding that verbal reassurance made you feel like you were on Cloud 9. You felt guilty for thinking about Peter during a time like this, but it just made you wish he had taken the time to do this like Tom was.

“I just really like spending time with you.”  He cuts off your thoughts, taking your other hand in his. You nod before he can continue. 

“I was just lucky I walked in on your shift that night rather than my idiot friend‘s.” You threw your head back laughing at that, knowing exactly who he was talking about. 

“You’re insanely smart, funny, and really fucking cute. I’m kinda drunk right now but I think I can go on forever about you if you’d let me.” He laughed, making you giggle in response. 

You cut him off by kissing him roughly on his lips, not wanting to do anything other than kiss him. You quickly heat it up by removing your hands from his grasp and placing them along his shoulders, bringing your hips against his. He reacted quickly by wrapping his hands around your hips, making you gasp before you broke the kiss to clear your throat.

“I like you too.” You simply state, a bit shy now that you’ve admitted it verbally. 

“Yeah?” He teased, bringing his nose to meet yours. You nodded with a smile on your face. 

“Glad we got that sorted out.” He continues, before kissing your cheek.

You shake your head with a small eye roll. “Whatever, let’s go.” You smirk before pulling him up the stairs of your apartment. 

You stumble up your stairs giggling in front of Tom, knowing you’re making a little too much noise at 12 am as you were visibly tipsy but Tom makes sure that you’re safe by holding onto your hips. 

He wraps himself around you as you attempt to unlock your door until you hear a noise from behind you. You turn the key hearing the click with the unlock of your door but turn to meet Peter’s eyes as Tom kisses the crook of your neck. 

Guilt fills your veins as Peter stares back at you in jealousy, jaw clenched.

“Baby,” Tom coo’s, just as tipsy as you were so he missed the sight of you looking at your neighbor with feign innocence. “c’mon open the door.” He says, pressing another kiss on your neck, pressing his erection against your backside. 

Peter looks forward to opening his door to enter his home and slam it. The noise causes you to flinch and Tom to look behind the both of you. 

“Damn,” he chuckles. You focused on the doorknob attempting to push the overthinking aside. 

You open the door and turn back to Tom looking at you with drunk adoration in his eyes, giving you a reason to smile. 

You step backwards with your arms wrapped around his shoulders giggling, forcing yourself to forget about what just happened knowing that was a problem for tomorrow. 

He shut the door behind you grinning, knowing you were all his for the night.

-

You were dressed in one of Tom’s t-shirts that you had stolen from the previous week as you were walking him out, him dressed in yesterday's clothes. 

Normally you would’ve spent more time with him but seeing as he had a paper due tonight, he’s leaving before any more physical distractions could arise. 

You were standing in your doorway saying your final goodbyes, at least until tomorrow. 

“Text me when you get back?” You say after kissing his cheek.

“Of course love.” He responds before kissing you on the lips. 

“Ok.” You smile, letting your hands linger in his before he leaves, descending down the steps. You can see him exchanging a glance with Peter before Peter turns to face you, going up the steps. 

You remain frozen in your doorway looking at him and before he can stop at his apartment door, which you can tell he thought about it, he turns to you and steps closer. You feel timid in his presence once again, forgetting how small he made you feel. 

“Hi,” you start, not knowing what to say. You know you don’t want to apologize or allow him to make you feel bad about it, because technically you weren’t doing anything wrong. 

“Who is he?” He dived in the topic headfirst and you grimaced. You scoffed walking into your apartment knowing he’d soon follow behind you, always getting up into your boundaries because he knew he could. 

He slammed and locked the door behind him. 

“Who is he?” He demands loudly this time, making sure you can hear him when you walk into your room ignoring him. 

He trailed behind you, scanning to see what’s changed since he had last been here. His stomach dropped at the disheveled sheets. 

“What does it matter to you?” You state, picking up your clothes from last night off the floor.

When you put them in your hamper, he stops you by pulling on your shirt. 

“This his?” He scoffs. 

“You never asked me to be your girlfriend Peter.” You spit back, pushing his hand away from the fabric before he can tear it off you. 

He rolled his eyes before answering a bit softer. You could tell he backed down. 

“You know I can’t do that.” He said. You sat back down on your bed facing his general direction as he stood in front of you. His face softened as well and kneeled before you, face looking up at yours holding your hips. 

Your voice came out cracked, biting back the tears from how stressed he was making you. 

“Then why are we having this conversation?” You cry. The tears started spilling out before you knew it. He stood back up to kiss your forehead. 

“I’m sorry baby,” He said before fully standing straight. You looked up at him from your current position, feeling more vulnerable in front of him than you ever have.

You didn’t want to believe you were crying for his love, at least not explicitly, but he practically forced your hand at the way he was guilt tripping you as if he ever made an effort to claim you. 

He stroked your cheek with your thumb, wiping the tears still spilling as you sniffled. 

“Is he your boyfriend now?” He says, almost mockingly. You swear you could’ve cussed him out right then and there but you stayed silent letting him speak with snark, the lump in your throat not disappearing. 

You shake your head, causing Peter to shake his head right after. 

“Tell me.” He states, still gently stroking your cheeks. You bring a hand to cling onto his arm before speaking, voice still cracked.

“He hasn’t officially asked me.” You quiver, pushing yourself back on your bed until your legs are fully off the floor. You weren’t stupid. You knew where this was going, you knew what he wanted and you were gonna give it to him. 

Because it was what you wanted too. 

Peter crawled on the bed above you, hovering your figure. He takes your face in both his hands and kisses you gently. 

You realized as you kissed back desperately that he hasn’t been this soft with you in a while, the desire and hunger always coming first in the last two months. 

You kiss back, not understanding why but you did. Just as you did he trails down to your neck, crawling onto the bed with you. You were in bliss for what you knew was coming, or what you thought was coming. 

You were brought out of your expectations when Peter spoke. 

“Are you mine?” He asks. There was a sense of dominance in his voice you haven’t heard since the first time you guys had sex. 

This one was laced in jealousy though.

It was obvious something shifted in him as you showed him he wasn’t the only man in your life anymore and that he had to work for your affection if he truly wanted you. Though, he wasn’t willing to do more than he had to so he relied on your history and your clear love for him. 

Fortunately for him (unfortunately for you), it worked. 

You nod as he latches his fingers on the seams of your underwear. 

“I need to hear you say it.” He growls in your ear before pushing your back on the bed, making you gasp out. 

“Tell me you’re mine.” He says abandoning your skin to rub you through your underwear.

“I’m yours.” You whimper, your eyes meeting his as he massages harder on your forming wet spot.

You want to knock yourself out for how quickly you submitted to him. He knew the power he had over you and wasn’t afraid to remind you. 

But it felt too good to think about right now.

Before you could say anything else you heard him quickly unbuckling his pants. His bottom half was naked before he pushed your underwear to the side, clearly wanting to get to the point. 

Your body jolted as you felt his familiar cock fill you up again. Moaning out for him. You were pressed up against his chest on your side as he entered you laying down beside you. 

“Fucked another boy last night and you’re still so tight for me.” He teased as he whispered in your ear. 

You moan not knowing what to say, just knowing it felt so good for him to care enough about you to be this jealous.

“Tell me how much you love it.” He gasps, only letting the sound of your skin slapping fill the air. He grabbed on to the back of your thighs to hold them open for your entrance in a rough way that you knew was gonna leave bruises on you. 

“You feel so fucking good inside of me Peter,” You cried out, knowing it was gonna drive him crazy. You turn your head to meet his eyes again, literally black from how blown out with lust they were looking at you falling apart in his hands. 

“I love the way you fuck me daddy.” You groan out, fucking yourself back onto him, taking control of the pacing of your hips. He hissed out at your sudden change of pace before he grabs on to them to slow you down causing you to clench around him even more from his control. 

“Yeah?” He says before you kiss him desperately, not even aiming for accuracy as you only moaned in his mouth while nodding to answer his self indulged questions.

“Can he make you feel like this?” He says before slipping out of you completely, you whining at the loss of contact. 

He flips you on your stomach, and you arch your back, leaving your ass in the air for him. 

He rubbed your dick along your slit before fully entering, causing you to moan obscenities before begging him to thrust into you already. 

You shake your head as if to say “No” knowing it wasn’t true, because Tom was amazing in bed. But anything to keep Peter to make you feel like this again. You knew what he wanted to hear, even if it was just a power trip for him.

He drilled into you from this position and rolled his hips against your ass repeatedly. You knew you were gonna orgasm from this alone, he also knew from the way you were clenching around him each time.

“Fuck, are you gonna cum baby?” He asked. 

He already knew the answer. 

He made you sit up straight along his chest again as he continued to thrust into you. He massaged your breasts before going to your clit and thrusted into you even harder. 

“I’m gonna cum.” You groan out. As soon as you clenched one final time around him he mewled in your ear, cumming inside you at the same time. Your body vibrated on top of his before you two fully collapsed on your bed. 

You laid still, attempting not to think too deeply about what you just did and the morally gray area about it, but shortly after Peter snuggled up into you, kissing your cheek. 

-

October - 

Before you knew it, it was fall break. You loved Halloween so you had to emphasize the importance of preparing for your Halloween this week of no school by the multiple Spirit Halloween trips and making Tom help you decorate your apartment. 

You were currently on a stool putting your fairy lights up in your room for the seasonal flair for the next few months while Tom laid down in your bed, reading a book. 

You quickly wrapped up your process by taping up the remaining cords and plugging them in, to prepare for the long night ahead of you as it was already 7 pm. 

You stumbled down from your stool and looked around proud of yourself. You pick up your phone to check the time but see the text on your screen from peter. 

14 min ago: Come over?

14 min ago: Ben’s napping

You sigh under your breath so Tom wouldn’t ask what’s wrong before typing back. 

now: busy, sorry

now: studying :(

Peter sat on his bed waiting for your usually hasty arrival with a knock on his door but looked at your text in defeat. 

He knew you weren’t studying, especially with the cologne of who you had been fucking rubbing off on you for the past few weeks. 

He also knew that there was no way you were studying on fall break. Peter scoffed as he recalled you celebrating that all your midterms would be due right before, so you would have time to relax on your break guilt free. He mentally cursed at you for not even caring enough to come up with a better lie for him. 

Peter supposed it made sense that you were seeing someone else but he couldn’t find it in him to not feel jealous whenever he was faced with the reality.

In Peter’s head, and only in his head because he refused to ever tell you otherwise outside of nicknames, you were his girl. He loved the effect he had on you and how eager you were to be around him. He became addicted to the feeling and became possessive in a way that should only be reserved for commitment. 

He knew that, which is why he couldn’t find it in himself to confront you about it. At the moment, his stomach was turning at the thought of another man, really a boy to him, touching you. 

You placed your phone face down on the bed side before plopping back down beside Tom as he chuckled at your exasperation.

“You done?” He asks before putting his book back down, taking your hand in his.

“Yeah, no thanks to you.” You say, mockingly before he lets out an offended gasp. He rises on one elbow to face you as you stay laid down on your side. 

“Hey, I helped you carry all your stuff all week and narrowed down the costumes for us.” He claimed before flipping you over on your back, pinning your arms above your head. 

You scoff at this, knowing if you really wanted to you could play-fight with him because of the average strength he has, not like Peter where he’s basically Super-Man for whatever reason. (You couldn’t tell if you missed it during times like these.)

“Oh, as if you even helped pick them. You just insulted half my choices.” You roll your eyes before using this opportunity to wrap your legs around his waist and bring him closer. He stammers at this, scoffing at you before grinding his hips down on yours.

“I think you just brought up half of those options to annoy me. Like Cosmo and Wanda.” Tom points out, causing you to laugh at his observation. 

You sigh before your confession. “Yeah, I did.” You nod before he goes in to kiss you. He began to dry hump you before you both realized you could do without the extra layers of clothes between you. 

Meanwhile, Peter’s pants tightened at the thought of another man was going to be able to see how you writhed under their touch once they found that sweet spot on their neck. He reminisced on the memory of you moaning his name in utter bliss on repeat. He found himself reaching for his buckle and suddenly his hand was in his boxers, palming himself before raising his cock outside of the clothing. 

He doesn’t remember the last time he had you in his room so he reached over for the pictures of you he had taken that day in August, all saved in the drawer of his night stand.

Peter slipped through his favorites, finding the one of you smiling at the camera with his cum on your breasts. He remembered snapping this right after he finished, wanting to capture this moment forever. His cum still dropping a little bit off your chin with his free hand cupping your breast. He never told you this, but Peter adored your smile. You were always so expressive through your eyes and loved how you smiled at him.

After he shaked off the mere idea of another man recreating this position you, he started stroking his dick to this photo, face slack with awe of how radiant you looked in the most pornographic context. He let out breathy moans until he scoured for another and threw his head back at what he found next. 

A photo of you on top of him, attempting to bite back your moans because you were afraid of looking stupid on camera. He remembered assuring you that the camera loved you before rocking his hips up into yours. 

Peter’s thumb flicked over his tip as his pre-cum began to spurt out, reminiscing how your pussy would feel around him. He loved the breathy moans you had in this position because of how concentrated you were on rocking on him. But like most things, he liked taking control in this position even more so that you could just let yourself go and fuck yourself on him. 

Looking at the wetness on his tip, he thought about if you were here how you would blow him. He missed the feeling of your lips around his head, swirling your tongue to tease him and lap up the precum before deepthroating him. 

He began to lose himself in the memory of you and fucked his fist, moaning out your name. Behind his eyelids all he could see was those few moments he rocked his hips into your face with you gagging around his penis trying not to choke. He wasn’t adamant about face fucking you at first, but after seeing how well you took him the first few times, it just kinda happened one day. 

He was crying out to the memory of how it felt to hold your cheeks, looking up at him for approval while he came undone right in front of you, tears streaming out and unsteady breathing from the pace he was going at, but the memory of seeing your tear stained, cum stained face with runny makeup once he was finished caused him to unravel.

He sighed, coming out of his high looking at his cum drying up on his hand, lower stomach and thigh, disappointed at himself realizing that one, you weren’t here and two, that you were probably doing it with who ever the fuck your boyfriend was.

Tom. What kind of name is Tom anyway? Peter scoffed at the thought as he wiped himself off. He knew he was being petty but he didn’t want to rationalize it because he was still extremely jealous, and knew he had to put in a little more effort if he wanted attention from you, or even taking you back all for himself again.

He considered it, but decided to leave you alone, at least when it came to explicitly asking. Peter wasn’t sure if he could ever leave you alone, not when you’re right across the hall from him. 

He still remembers how shy you were when you first met him, and he adored you from then on, loving how you increasingly opened up to him before eventually returning his advances. And even though he would never admit this either, he also loved the side of you that became confident now that you were sure he was here to stay. He thought it was ironic that you’d be so quick to move on but it wasn’t surprising. 

Peter knew you were a gorgeous girl, the way you talked about college with a face like yours, was just unrealistic to him, it was unsettling but unsurprising when he saw who you brought home that night. Part of him wishes he wasn’t so afraid to claim you as his, but part of him, the more rational part, knew it was for the better. 

Peter didn’t like beating himself up over you, it felt very juvenile, but he couldn’t help it. He missed you and had to throw himself in other distractions in the meanwhile. 

The operative word being meanwhile because he was hoping Tom wouldn’t be around for long. 

He sighed before changing out of his clothes to shower and looked at his Spider suit in the closet as he rummaged around for a fresh change of clothes. 

Peter usually takes advantage of when Ben is at school to remain vigilant in keeping New York a little bit safe. But more often his reasoning has shifted. It’s less of a convenience thing and more of a distraction, now that you’ve been creating distance between you two. When he’s patrolling and actually catches bad guys, he doesn’t think about you or how fucked up the entire situation is, or even how he mistreated you. 

-

Halloween 

Peter was currently just exiting one of the quieter neighborhoods, walking Ben back to their home after a long night of trick-or-treating from the neighborhood's uptown and even in the one he had grown up in by visiting Aunt May briefly. He had been exhausted (still, flattered) by the long-winded compliments of his spider suit, because it was the one time of year he could get away with wearing it alongside a bunch of Spidey fanboys. They had just passed the subway stop closest to their complex until he heard a familiar voice calling to him. 

-

“Baby, are you sure you can even walk right now?” Your boyfriend inquired about your stumbling footsteps on the subway. You had just got back from your friend’s party that got cut short due to getting broken up by campus safety.

As you stepped out of the cart you slung your arm around his shoulder as he held your waist, being cinched together by the smooth fabric of your Playboy Bunny costume.

It had been a little more riskier than what you were used to for Halloween so you had pre-gamed before leaving for some liquid courage to walk the streets of NYC and around your peers in the tiny black leotard with your cleavage plunging out of it and black pantyhose to match. 

Tom thought the white bow tie choker, matching wrist cuffs and black ears on your head were an adorable touch and couldn’t wait to fuck you with only those remaining. 

To compliment your look, Tom was dressed up as Hugh Heffner to accompany your vixen look, red robe, sailor hat, pipe and all. You were admittedly turned on at how tacky he looked because he pulled it off oh-so well. You looked up from focusing on getting back up on your feet to meet his eyes and his cocky grin. You were a bit drunk and the black stilettos you were wearing were not helping, but nothing you couldn’t handle before the night was over. 

“Yes baby I’m fine.” You drag out causing Tom to raise his eyebrows as he was even more unconvinced. He helped you keep your steps somewhat straight and continued to hold on tight to your waist. His eyes kept flickering up and down at your body causing you to giggle. 

“What?” You say, knowing he hasn’t been able to keep his hands off you all night. Once he had seen you to pick you up from your apartment, he didn’t even want to leave. 

“You know what,” He rolled his eyes, taking a fake hit from his pipe before licking his lips looking at you again. You giggled at how silly he was being before he spoke again. 

“I’ve been wanting to take you out of this since I saw you in it.” He said before attacking the side of your neck and nibbling on your ear. You lightly shrieked as you guys finally made your way up the steps from the subway stop.

“Tom, stop there’s people around,”  You try moving away, slightly out of breath but you only give him more access as he pulls you closer and smothers your neck. 

He gropes your ass playing with the tail on your suit before resting his hands on the small of your back before anyone could flash you two a look. He was peppering your neck and jawline in kisses causing you to gasp before you could remind him, more firmly now. 

“We’re literally one block from my apartment,” You meet his eyes before you dodge his kiss to tease him. His lips landed on your cheeks instead of your lips causing him to bite you and you giggling once again from surprise. 

You two continue to walk in the direction of your complex and you notice a very familiar figure next to a short brown haired boy carrying a jack-o-lantern full of candy. You recognized the voice as he joked around his son and your suspicions were confirmed when he called his name.

Before you could think, you yelled out and quickened your pace with Tom now straggling behind.

“Peter,” You shouted but not too loud as it was getting late. You almost sounded relieved to see him, it had been a while since you guys had last hooked up. You tried not to think too long about it as you were in an established relationship with Tom now, but you were only human. 

-

Peter whipped his head around as he heard your voice and his eyes widened at the sight of you before you hugged him, smelling the alcohol off your lips. 

“Hi,” you exclaimed before getting off of him and looking to his son just as happily, “Hi Ben, how are you guys?” You had the widest smile on your face right now as Tom caught up, looking a bit embarrassed. 

“Hey, sorry man she’s a little,” Before Tom can finish and before Peter can roll his eyes at the gaudy display of a costume he has on, you interrupt. 

“Oh yeah,” You pause before scanning Peter’s face “I’m sorry guys I just wanted to say hi, what were your costumes this year?” You rambled on before you could stop.

Peter chuckled knowing you do this when you’re nervous, especially around him, but he got distracted while his eyes scanned your cleavage, your waist, then your legs that had seemed to be even more elongated in your tight pantyhose. 

He felt his pants tighten a bit seeing a glimpse of your white fluffy tail and the dip of your breasts when you bent down to listen to his son speak. 

Realizing that Ben was speaking, he quickly got out of his thoughts to listen. 

“I’m Mario.” Ben said.

“Mario? Well where is Luigi?” You exclaimed, making him smile.

“My friend earlier was Luigi but he had to go, his bedtime was way earlier than mine.” Ben answered, making both you and Tom giggle. Peter interjected. 

“Yeah cause Luigi’s dad isn’t as cool as I am.” He states, ruffling his hair causing Ben to smile up at him. You watched their exchange and felt butterflies in your stomach as you met Peter’s eyes again. His eyes started to droop with the same lust from the first time you two met as he scanned your body before meeting your face again. 

And it’s as if God hates Peter or Tom had mind reading powers because he started to hug you from behind again before resting his head in the crook of your neck. You smiled at the touch and Peter swore he wanted to vomit. Not because it looked overtly sexual, but because of how purely affectionate it was. 

He was not only jealous of Tom at this moment because of how obscenely sexy you were in this costume, but because he could get away with doing this corny matching couples stuff with you, even if he did look like the world’s biggest douchebag to Peter right now. 

Not only that, but the PDA in broad daylight like some horny young adults because you were. Peter would never tell you explicitly but he knew you guys couldn’t be together because of how dramatic the difference of where you were in your life right now. 

Peter already experienced the things you have, and while he loves listening to you he just can’t realistically tie himself to you in the way that you want.

He knows you know that though. 

You shake Tom off quickly due to the fact that you were beginning to feel his erection behind you. 

“And you, Peter? Oh my gosh are you Spider-Man?” You exclaim, looking at the suit behind his sweater and sweatpants. 

Peter had to be shaken out of his thoughts as he had a brief moment of fear until he remembered he dressed up like this today on purpose. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah just because of all the pictures I used to take.” Peter said scratching the back of his neck, hoping it was a convincing enough lie. 

“You used to take pictures of Spidey? Oh that’s sick man,” Tom says with a genuine smile, but Peter wanted nothing more than to web it shut.

“And it’s a really convincing costume, this is so cool Mr….” Tom trails off as you bit your lip watching for Peter’s response. 

“Parker.” He states before shaking his hand. “And you are?” He furrowed his eyebrows at Tom as you rolled your eyes at him, silently begging Peter to be polite. 

“Tom,” He smiled, causing Peter to return a tight-lipped one in response. 

“This is my son Ben,” Ben smiled and gave a polite wave back. 

-

The rest of the way back is filled with polite small talk, mainly between you and Ben talking about how much you love Halloween, Mario Kart, dressing up and how much you both could do without school. 

Peter had forgotten about the bond you and Ben built from the countless times he asked you to watch him when his Spider-Man business interfered with his personal time this summer. He was attracted at how easily you could carry a conversation with his son but it seems as though Tom felt the same way. 

He wanted to gag in jealousy at how Tom probably saw a future with you. Peter tried to stay focused on the conversation, but he repeatedly got distracted at how he watched you speak. His eyes lit up as he held onto you and made sure to focus on every single step, it almost started to feel like a competition as Peter was doing the same. 

Peter gets fed up watching this subtle display of how much he loves you again because of how it’s killing him. Even though he would never tell you how he can’t give that to you. 

As much as Peter wanted to hate the kid, he, and any other fool with eyes, could see how much Tom cares about you.

To Peter’s simultaneous dismay and relief you all reach the floor of your apartment and say your goodbyes.

“Goodnight guys,” You said, mainly sobered up from the riveting conversation you had with Ben and the consistent attention from Tom and Peter pulling you in opposite directions. 

You pretended not to notice in the shy way you usually did when you brushed off their affections, but Peter knew you knew. 

Peter wasn’t sure if Tom caught on but doubted it, as it was probably far-fetched to assume his girlfriend had history with her neighbor almost twice her age. 

“Goodnight,” Ben and Peter call back, Ben giving you a genuine smile while Peter only gives a half smile, you suspect it’s from jealousy as Tom lingers beside you to wait for you to unlock the door.

It is completely out of jealousy, mixed with guilt, resentment and fear. 

Peter opened the door for Ben to go in and looked behind him to see that you and Tom had already slipped in, hearing your giggles from behind the wall already.

He cursed his superhuman hearing ability for nights like this where hearing another man make you moan was the last thing he wanted to hear. 

-

Tom was seated on your couch and you were seated on Tom. You were grinding up against his hips. 

“Fuck,” He groaned out as you continued while leaving love bites on his neck, returning the aggression he had expressed earlier today. He threw his head back before facing back up to meet your eyes widening them.  

“You like that?“ You responded by nibbling on his ear. 

“No, wait yes, hold on babe,” He said before pulling his phone out of his robe pocket. Tom paused your movements reading the text and groaned out. 

“What?” You ask, expecting disappointment. 

“I have to go,” He said, clearly not happy about it either.

“Why?” You whine, grinding harder on him before he smacks your ass to stop, causing you to gasp out in pleasure. 

“My group for one of my classes have this huge project due tomorrow and we still haven’t edited like 2 hours worth of footage.” He exasperated, running his hands up and down your arms.

“It can’t wait?” You sigh out, not expecting to get blue balled by your boyfriend while you’re dressed like a sex symbol. 

“We haven’t even put together all the footage so no, it can’t wait. Plus everything is on my laptop so I have to go now, and wake up early if I want everything to go smoothly.” Tom explained, causing you to cry out in defeat.

“Tom, you’re just leaving me like this?” You sigh out as he wiggles your body off of him while he calls his uber. 

“I don’t want to babe. I’m sorry I’ll make it up to you, tomorrow?” He says before leaning back in your space to kiss your cheek.

You remain pouted as he kisses the back of your hand that he was holding.

“I swear, we’ll be done with all of it by the time it’s due, then I can come over after and we’ll have all night together.” He reminds you. 

You sighed out, rolling your eyes but nod in agreement, knowing one night without him wouldn’t hurt. 

“Okay.” You say.

“Okay.” He smiles back, kissing your cheek. 

You walked Tom down to the curbside of your building to get picked up and tried to hide your disappointment because you knew he had a valid reason to leave. It just sucked so bad for you that it was after a night you had been looking forward to. 

You say your goodbye to Tom as he gets in his uber and walk back up to your complex, finding it funny how you were in your worn out bunny slippers with your costume of tonight. 

When you walked up the steps and past Peter’s apartment to yours, you were reminded of all the memories of your routine that you abided by because it was an excuse to see him regularly, regardless of what he considered you. You sighed before going back to your apartment to get your phone, staring at the contact card on the screen. You thought back to all the time you’ve spent with Tom in the last two months, fondly, but remembered all the times you had wished it was Peter instead. You missed him more than you realized and tonight brought all those emotions back. 

-

After Peter put Ben to bed, he sighed thinking about your costume again. He laid down on his bed wondering if he should text you but knew it was pointless as Tom was gonna spend the night. 

Or so he thought.

He was just about to shower before he heard his phone ding and turned over to see it was you.

now: i saw u

now: the way u were looking at me earlier 

now: tom left

now: can i come over

Peter ran his hands through his hair not believing what was happening right now. Morally, he knew this was fucked up, but when it came to you so far? He hadn’t been following the rules. 

Before he could think rationally and the more he thought about your costume being still intact and untouched (for the most part) from your boyfriend, he texted back.

now: Christ y/n

now: Yes. 

now: Come over. 

Not even a minute passed before he heard that familiar knock, not too loud so that you wouldn’t cause Ben to stir awake. 

Peter opened the door and tried to hide his relief and excitement of how you had finally been the one to reach out to him. 

-

The door in front of you opened to reveal Peter, still wearing his costume while you were in yours.

“He couldn’t handle you could he?” He smirked, walking backwards to lead you into his apartment before shutting the door behind you. 

“Shut up Peter,” you rolled your eyes before wrapping your arms around his shoulder to kiss him. Your back was against the door, leaning your hips towards Peter feeling his forming erection through the spandex material. Peter knew where this was going so he returned the gesture by groping your ass and wrapping his hands around the back of your thighs.

“Are you sure you want to do this? Isn’t he your boyfriend now?” He stopped before continuing any further. You scanned his face for any hint of condescension or humor but found none, this stone face staring back at you. 

You nodded, slowly to make him understand that this was your decision and not an act of drunkenness, as you’ve mostly sobered up by now. It made you feel guilty but you couldn’t express just how much you needed him right now, at least not verbally and not to him. 

“Peter, I want you, right here and right now.” You say, making sure your voice remained steady in the confidence of your words as you stared into his eyes. You played with the hair at the nape of his neck affectionately as you watched him scan you for any hint of reluctance. 

After finding none, he kissed you back, gently, cupping your face before you kissed him back hungrily and deepening his action. 

He broke the kiss to say one word. “Jump,” He commanded. You listened, jumping into his hands so that he could lead you to the bedroom. He cupped your ass to carry you, but that didn’t stop him from kneading the flesh which made you squirm under his touch already. 

He laid you on your back, missing the way you looked underneath him. 

“I liked the tail.” He said as you looked up at him expectedly. His comment caused you to giggle before turning over on your stomach to tease him by wiggling your hips above the mattress. 

“Prove it Spidey.” You sigh out, knowing you were driving him insane by not only doing this. His pants tightened at the fact that you were going to fuck him in his actual suit, not even knowing about his alter ego. All Peter wanted to do after a month of not even seeing you was get his hands on you and inside you. 

“Baby girl I’m gonna do a lot more than prove it,” He growled low in your ear as he lined up his hips to yours. He landed a loud smack on your ass causing you to moan out, still accustomed to his force.

“You know,” You turn back your face to meet his, “I’ve always thought Spider-Man was kinda cute.” You start, attempting to tease him as you watch his stare harden. 

“And now I get him all to myself tonight.” You bite your bottom lip at the way Peter almost moaned out at your comment accompanied by the way you grinded on his cock.

You gasp at the sudden draft of your core, realizing that Peter had ripped your pantyhose and moved the crotch of your suit and thong to the side for access.

“Peter,” you hiss out at his sudden aggression. 

“Bunny,” He moaned out, rubbing his fingers at your slick, causing you to shake at his expert movements. 

“Turn around, I wanna see you squirm when I eat you out.” He commanded to which you obliged. 

You widen the entrance of your legs and sit up on your elbows, watching him place your legs over his shoulders. He chuckled, removing the slippers off your feet and looked at you once again. 

“I wish you kept on the heels.” He stated, throwing you a mock pout.

“And I wish you didn’t rip my tights.” You pouted back, causing him to chuckle lowly. 

“They were in the way.” He smirked at you, causing your stomach to backflip. 

You feel the fabric of his suit underneath him, sitting right beneath the back of your knees as your legs hang off his back. You clench your thighs around his head and his groans out, being intoxicated with the heat in between your legs. 

He watched you intently as you had your mouth parted slightly, watching his every move like it was still new to you.

He took briefly your nub in between his teeth, making you choke at the sensation, before rolling it on his tongue. Then, Peter flattened his tongue against your pussy, making you arch your back at the cool swipe he had just licked off of you. 

“Peter, please stop teasing me,” You whine out. He looked back up at you smirking, before pressing his lips to yours and getting back to work on making you orgasm. He settled his hand right on your pelvic area while we went to work on pussy, thrusting in two fingers at a time while sucking on your clitoris. 

You moaned out, struggling to contain it as he picked up his pace before you heard and felt him detach from you.

“Since you asked so nicely,” He said when he locked eyes with you. He watched you writhe under his touch as he added a third finger. You bucked up your hips moaning out his name in ecstasy, missing the way they filled you up. He curled them inside of you and trusted harder, hitting your g-spot repeatedly. 

You clenched around him, feeling the tension forming in your lower stomach unable to hold your orgasm any longer. 

“Peter,” you stutter out, struggling to get him to slow down. “Please, I’m gonna cum,” You cry, twisting the sheets underneath your hand before reaching out for his hair, running your fingers through his hair. 

He moaned at the way you pulled his head forward. Shaking his head in between your thighs, Peter held them tighter around his head and shook his head side to side continuing to lap you up like you were his last meal. The bass in his voice caused vibrations to go wave through your whole body, making you grind against his mouth rougher. 

You felt that tension in your stomach disappear, clenching around his fingers panting out before you could catch your breath. Peter slowed down his movements, eating the remaining cum you had just released before getting off his knees to face you again. 

He quickly removed his suit, eager to have you in his presence again. You watched him still coming down from your high and sat up to unzip yourself. He watched you confused, and asked, “What are you doing?”

“Taking off my costume.” You answered, raising your eyebrows at him. 

“No you’re not.” He shook his head, chuckling at your confidence in your answer. He stood up, naked making your mouth go dry at his body. 

He sauntered back to the bed, caressing your body in the costume, smirking when he ran his hands down your ass and thigh when he felt the tail once again. 

“You look so cute in this bunny, I don’t wanna see this go to waste.” He hovered above you with his hands on either side of your face planted in the bed. 

He raised his hand to your lips, asking for entrance. You opened your mouth as he put his index and middle finger on your tongue, wrapping your tongue around him and holding his palm to place them deeper in your mouth, You swirl your tongue around him meeting his eyes as he looks at you mesmerized. 

Peter parted his lips in amazement watching you deepthroat his fingers, coated in you. 

“You’re fucking incredible baby,” He sighed out before you released his fingers with a pop. 

You bring him in for a kiss as he holds onto the back of your knee bringing it closer to your stomach. When he moved to your neck, he repeated the action on your other leg. 

“Do you still want this?” He asks again for reassurance. This time you’re not sure if he’s asking just you.

“Do you want this?” You ask him, placing emphasis on you. You make him face you as he brings your knees to his shoulders to line up his cock at his entrance. 

“Of course.” Peter answered back genuinely. He said it in that soft voice he reserved for you when you two spend quality time together, the one that made you melt when you remembered you couldn’t have him the way you wanted to. 

“I missed you.” You answered back just as low, meeting his forehead and nose with yours. 

“I missed you too.” He said, shortly before thrusting into you. You clenched around him at the new sensation, feeling yourself stretch out.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” He grunted as he leaned down to engulf you into a kiss. You can hear the wetness of yourself as he continues to thrust back in, fighting back whimpers due to how you weren’t used to his size. 

“So tight for me baby, you’re all for me.” He sobbed out as your body rocked back and forth from his force. The sounds of the back of your thighs hitting his hips filled the room as you whined out his name, strewn together with other obscenities of begging him to fuck you like he meant it. 

He obliged, causing your breasts to fall out of your top. He watched as your tits rocked back and forth with you below his body, face contorting with pleasure as if this was the first time again. 

Peter looked at the place where your bodies met, looking at how you clenched around him like you never wanted to let him go and the moisture from his pre cum and your previous orgasm collecting around his cock. He moaned at the sight, vision getting hazy from how you look under him, how you sounded and how you felt. 

“Love the way you cream around my cock, God I missed you so fucking much.” He stammered, voice sounding guttural and desperate for you. He thrusted at a faster pace, removing his hands from your legs and going back to the previous position of his hands planted beside your face. 

It caused your body to fold underneath him as your legs were still wrapped around his shoulders, giving him easy access to hit your G-spot on repeat. 

You could barely speak, overstimulated by his constant praises and the way he moved your body however he wanted to. All you could get out coherently was his name, on repeat. You sounded drunk off his cock, and he loved it.

“Peter,” You mewled out. 

“The way you say my name is unforgettable, baby” He started, slamming into you at a rate you knew would leave you sore. Your body tensed up at the way he held you down, loving the way he knew how to work you the way he wanted to.

“Tell me what you want, tell me what you want and it’s yours.” He continued, knowing you were close by the way you pulsated around him. 

“Cum inside me please. I’m so close.” You choke out. He nods, throwing his head forward in relief as he slows down his thrusts, before you feel him twitch after you clenched once more. 

Your heavy breathing filled the air as he collapsed, laying his sweaty body next to yours. His hair stuck on his forehead from the sweat. He raised himself on his elbow and brought his fingers back to your center. You felt his cum trickle down your thigh before he swiped his fingers and brought them to your lips again. 

“Open,” He commanded. You listened, repeating your earlier action to deepthroat his fingers as he hummed back in content. 

You sit back up to unzip your costume again, believing Peter was satisfied but being mistaken. He stopped your fingers by wrapping his hands around yours. 

“I haven’t even wrecked this costume yet, what makes you think we’re done?” He chuckled, causing the crinkles by his eyes to return.

You roll your eyes in response. “Are you ever satisfied, Parker?” You exasperate, admitting defeat by allowing his hands to engulf yours. 

He shrugged, “I will be after I see you hop.”

A/N: LMFAOOO please let me know if yall think a part 3 and 4 are even worth it after reading this bc im very self conscious of it! 😭 also you can interpret tom as an OC or tom holland i just figured it would be impossible to imagine his peter as a DILF so it was easy to just insert him as the bf... anyway i hope yall like it i've literally been working on this since i posted daddy issues jshdnsjnd

#peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fic #tasm!peter smut #tasm!spiderman x reader #tasm!peter fanfiction #tasm andrew garfield #tasm!peter x reader #tasm!spiderman x you #andrew garfield smut #andrew garfield x reader #andrew garfield x female reader #andrew garfield x you #tasm!peter parker #tasm!peter one shot #tasm!peter imagine #oneshot #fanfiction #peter parker smut #peter parker imagine #peter parker oneshot #andrew garfield peter parker #peter parker x reader #tasm!peter parker x reader #peter parker x black!reader #mcu!peter x black!reader #peter parker x black reader #tom holland x reader #the writing’s on the wall #peter parker x you

[captainjoongki]

people seem to be split on reborn rich’s finale but for me, i enjoyed most of it and i liked the overall ending and message. 

reborn rich never was a true fantasy time-travel drama. it was a story about hyun woo’s repentance and how he had to fix the wrongs of greed that he was involved in. do joon was always destined to die and while it hurts that he did since we spent SO much time with him, that was his fate. his death and its retribution was the eventual catalyst to soonyang’s demise. with him in the picture, soonyang would have stayed in the family, but to truly break the chain, he had to be gone. i just wish the drama had stretched this final plot into two episodes rather than one but it’s poetic imo. 

for me also reborn rich was about hyun woo learning from jin yang chul about what really was the foundation of the company and to see how things had spiraled so out of control. if hyun woo had never lived as do joon, he would have never gotten the tools to bring to an end the present-soonyang. in a way, he fulfilled yang chul’s final wishes also of the company NOT going into the hands of the siblings.  

there are things i wish they’d done differently - i wish minyoung was written more like episode 16 minyoung and we had gotten more of a SOLID romance because the entire story is heartbreaking of her mourning do joon for so long but since it was poorly written it all felt so eh. i also wish we had seen yang chul again, because for me, he was the CORE of the drama. his presence was just electric and i would’ve loved a final scene with hyun woo sort of acknowledging that he had in a way taken soonyang from grandpa but not in the way he originally wanted to. i also think the family letting go of soonyang was done so quickly it was like, really? these mfs who fought like animals for the company would just back away with no fight? it was all tied together a bit too neatly. 

all in all though, i think it was a very solid revenge drama, but also more a drama about familial trauma and human greed. all the characters had their own greed, and it became their downfall. where there is money, human beings will just naturally go to it, and do whatever they can to achieve it. and if the drama showed anything, it was that karma always comes back in its own way. def worth a watch for those who haven’t checked it out. i will always remember it though as a drama about jin yang chul and his youngest grandson who most closely resembled him, jin do jun. 

#reborn rich #kdrama #song joong ki

[max1461]

gonna have to write a longpost soon containing what I've dubbed (very pretentiously) "the dismal thesis". it ties together so many of my ideas about the human condition and it IMO elucidates many of the subtler disagreements people express in the discourse on here. the gist is that ethics (under many common conceptions) is basically antithetical to beauty (under many common conceptions). more generally, reducing suffering often comes at the cost of those things that make life worth living in the first place—art, adventure, love, etc. in almost everything that the average person (myself included) considers to be worthwhile in life is the capacity for pain, and thereby in the widespread existence of worthwhile things is, inherently, the existence of widespread pain. furthermore, in all the little joys of life are resources not being spent on alleviating the massive suffering that exists in the world.

there is a very sensible conception of justice, which many people subscribed to (not necessarily wrongly), which says "making art is always immoral; that time and money could go to feeding the hungry instead" and furthermore "the very existence of complex human society, of human social relations, is unethical, because relatively free human social relations contain within them the capacity for suffering, which will certainly exist as a reality if such social relations are widely practiced". there are a million other things like this. many of us enjoy a nice walk through the forest or on the beach, in fact we count this kind of thing as one of life's deeper pleasures. but the existence of a beach or a forest requires the mass suffering of a billion insects and other animals eating one another, killing one another, suffering under the worst conditions imaginable.

and the point is that there is something inherent about this conflict between beauty and ethics. beauty requires both 1) a certain level of complexity, and 2) some tether to human aesthetic intuitions. and the fact of the matter is that anything complex enough and "close to home" enough to be beautiful to us is going to involve, or at least make room for, pain and suffering.

the above is merely an articulation of thesis, not a defense of it (that's for the longpost). but I really do think this is true. I really do think there is a sense in which

the state of the world is unacceptable; there are such vast amounts of pain and suffering that to truly comprehend it should totally overwhelm you.

humans want more than simply "to not suffer"; in particular, among the things we consider life to be worth living for are art, human relationships, discovery, adventure, and so on—sensu lato beauty. "the good things".

necessary in the existence of beauty is pain—pain for oneself and pain for others. maybe in the far future, when we can e.g. simulate the entire biosphere on a supercomputer, this won't be true anymore (of course, for a lot of reasons, maybe it still will). but that's not gonna be any time soon, if ever. in the present world, the trade-off between beauty and ethics is real and unavoidable.

and the utilitarians say "(1) is more important than (2); tile the universe with wireheaded brains-in-vats and don't worry about what gets lost on the way there", and fascists say "(2) is more important than (1); build a society of nietzschean übermenschen doing Great Deeds". and of course you don't have to take either of these positions, but it's hard to see how to make an intermediate position philosophically coherent.

I admit that, at least in the current world, I think (1) is more important the (2) in most cases. but I am decidedly not ok with the long- or even middle-term consequences of prioritizing (1) exclusively.

and thus, the dismal thesis. the only possible just world is a dismal world, a world devoid of those things which make life worth living to begin with.

I am very very open to being proven wrong.

#navel gazing #society

[8one6]

Ever since I was in high school (in the before times, in the long, long ago) I had dreamed of taking road trip. Just me, my car (in high school it was a Cadillac Hearse that got absolutely awful gas mileage and high school me used to bitch about gas when it went over a $1 a gallon), and the open road, but I never managed to do it. Sometimes it was money, sometimes it was lack of opportunity, sometimes it was just the fear of doing something new.

In my mid-30s I finally did it and let me tell you it was one of the best experiences of my life.

A few years ago (2022 to be exact) my boss made me take a vacation in the spring (mostly because I had two years of pto from not using it during the lockdown years, but also because he was legitimately concerned with my stress levels, but anyway) and that year I decided to take two weeks to see all three Meow Wolf locations in one big trip. (Convergence Station is the coolest one btw, with Omega-Mart a close second.)

I70 through Kansas is a zen experience if you make the drive at night. Endless fields of stars and farmland, accompanied by whatever podcast you queued up for the drive.

Visited family in Denver, spent a day at Convergence Station, and the drive to Santa Fe was like driving through a postcard!

The House of Eternal Return was neat (IMO it relies a little too much on backstory you can only really get from sitting down and reading a lot of the SCP-style documents lying around the house, but unless you rented the entire place for the day you're competing with dozens of other people who are also trying to read the same thing.), I stayed at this cool, fully restored Route 66 vintage motel called the El Rey Court (A++, would stay again), and then I was off to Las Vegas.

There's a trick i40 plays on you. You'll be driving through some incredibly beautiful but still harsh desert wasteland (I passed more than one husk of an abandoned building on that stretch of highway) and then all of a sudden you're in a lush green forest. It was seriously as close to passing from one Minecraft biome to another as you can get in real life. (I also stopped at Meteor Crater National Landmark. It was cool.)

Just outside of Vegas I got two incredibly singular experiences. The first was seeing a tumbleweed in real life for the first time. I swear, I was alone in my car and I said out loud "Holy shit they're real!!!" The second was driving through an actual sand storm. In hindsight I should have pulled over and let it pass, but no one else on the road was doing it, so I just crawled through it at 30mph.

I spent a few nights in Las Vegas. Visited Omega-Mart (super cool, I recommend it), watched Blue Man Group (also very cool, also highly recommend), got to see a Penn & Teller show live (a fucking dream of mine since I was a little kid!!!), and had the best meal of my life.

Honestly, before that trip if you told me there was a difference between a $20 steak from Longhorn and a $100 steak from an actual steak restaurant I'd have called bullshit. I was in Las Vegas, I figured "This is likely the last time I'll take a trip like this, fuck it, why not splurge."

Oh my sweet raptor christ! The $100 steak was worth every cent!

What followed was a day of driving through beautiful parts of Nevada, Utah, and Colorado, including the most nerve-wracking stretch of highway through the mountains (literally through them in one spot. The Eisenhower tunnel is a little more than a mile and a half of tunnel bored straight through the spine of the Americas). A brief stop to sleep, and then 14 hours straight on home.

It was a fantastic trip. Two weeks away from home, from work, from any responsibility, the first time off since 2019. Two weeks of moving to my own schedule and crossing things off of the bucket list.

#road trip #meow wolf #las vegas #santa fe #denver #american southwest #journal #blog #vacation

[nineliars]

Im actually so freaking late bc I just finished mine liars BUT I’m so upset with David rn. I actually love him sm but I hate him. What is he? Im happy he and Stevie didn’t actually have sex bc if he broke up with her after that and just left ?? I would have been more sad for her. I understand he was overthinking but also kissing someone else? ?.!!./ outta pocket David 🙄

You’re so real for all of this. He is such a problem in this book. I love him but I’d also love to watch him slip on a banana peel into a dumpster or something.

Would it be crazy if I said that if they’d had sex, I don’t think David would have broken up with her? I’m not saying that because David is a horny scumbag who would’ve only stayed with her because they had sex, but I think from David’s POV, Stevie doesn’t love him as much as he loves her. (Whether that’s actually true is debatable, but unlikely imo given her reaction to being dumped.) Think about how Izzy first reacted to Stevie, like she was meeting a celebrity- because David had spent the last 3 months talking her up. In Stevie’s narration, she constantly frets about being perceived as intelligent, capable, and worthy. In David’s eyes, Stevie is all of those things already. I think David sees himself as a fuckup still, albeit one who managed to get his shit together long enough to spend a semester at Cambridge. He doesn’t know where he’s going next. (Neither does Stevie, but as she fails to realize, you get a little leeway when you solve the crime of the century twice.) David cuts off his nose to spite his dad, and even though it still shakes out alright for him, his future is even more uncertain than Stevie’s.

But Stevie isn’t perfect. She breaks down when she realizes she cannot solve the Nine Liars case in time to leave England. She can be utterly single-minded when it comes to solving the case, and the majority of the time, the breakdown in communication between her and David stems from her words/actions/missteps.

David clearly believes he is not worthy of Stevie and I don’t think he would’ve broken up with her unless he believed that she believed it too. Maybe if they had slept together, that aspect of their dynamic could have been a little more resolved�� but maybe if she hadn’t been broken up with, Stevie wouldn’t have stayed behind in England in order to actually solve the case, which could’ve driven another wedge in between them. (Also, David snapping at Stevie before breaking up with her and saying “not everything is about you” makes me sooo sad because it’s another misread of what she’s feeling/thinking. I think Stevie felt really, genuinely guilty and upset when she thought she couldn’t solve Rosie & Noel’s OR Angela’s murders. The fact that Angela had disappeared immediately after talking to Stevie probably felt like Ellie all over again. David may have noticed this if he stopped being insecure for 5 minutes and thought about what was actually going on with Stevie. But I DIGRESS because this is getting way too long.)

As for kissing someone else I think his reasoning there was so simple actually: He feels as though he has fucked up all the things in his life worth trying for; Ergo, why not become a fuckup again? Drown your sorrows in tequila and kiss somebody you don’t know! All the kids are doing it!

I did not mean for this to turn into a dissertation on the dynamics of Steviedavid’s Nine Liars arc. I just can’t wait to see where they both go from here, because they are both kind of fucked up in the head, and they know that, and I think that will keep drawing them together as long as they’re in each others proximity. Good thing Stevie is returning home to America, where David won’t be…until, you know, his semester ends and he has to go home ;)

#truly devious #nine liars #nine liars spoilers #stevie bell #david eastman #anon #chelsea answers #steviedavid

[rinelica]

how did you find your art style

I really don't know how to explain it... An art style seems like a mix of tastes and experiences, how it ends up really depends of individuals, so all I can do is throwing here my own experiences and tastes in hope it'll somewhat answer your question :

(I'll talk about art schools because I went to one and a few courses had a big impact on my art but I don't necessarily recommend it as the "magic must-do thing" to improve)

Art school helped me by :

This practice -> drawing from real life subjects (or photos) but quickly : I had a teacher who made us draw from a model in limited time (< 10 minutes). Thanks to that, I understood how I really liked to draw, which kind of lines and tools I instinctively was drawn to. I used to spend hours on linearts and hated that part, to me, it wasn't fun to polish, it felt unnatural and I always liked my sketches better. During the practice, I ended up using mainly colour pencils (often orange/brown because I like warm colours) and went from "focusing on the "lineart" of what I see" to "drawing by hatching-sculpting" and that was fun. I wanted to have a similar experience in digital art too, so I picked a brush looking like a pencil (the 6B one on Procreate) and started drawing with it. By doing a first lineart in orange which doesn't have to be perfect since there will be a black one over it, I found the most satisfying way to draw linearts I ever used.

Making me enjoy art analysis and giving me the habit to draw daily (daily art doesn't have to be a fully finished digital piece per day, it can be a random sketch on a piece of paper, as long as it helps fleshing out an art style)

What I did on side of school :

Learning about colour and shape theory, anatomy, art history : These are knowledges supposed (imo) to be learnt in art school but aside from European art history, it wasn't the case in mine. Colour theory is a thing I love, I spent time to really get it but it's worth it, I have a lot of fun playing with colours. Shape theory is something I learned more recently but it helps me greatly with composition when sketching.

Random inspirating things : Landscapes, crafts, games, books... Everything I like feeds my art style and can provide me inspiration.

Examples of works which inspirated me in my art growth :

Also : Madoka Magica (witches scenes) and "Celtic" art (is there a word for that)

#rin's answers

[andivmg]

recommendations for “local” spots in PR? im going over springbreak and im so excited!!! (anything fun do/ explore besides el yunque and san juan?)

omg i love this questionnnn!!!!

so if you get the chance: RENT. A. CAR. There are so many amazing spots in PR but because the public transportation system here might as well be nonexistent, you need a car to get to most of them. so here is the list of my personal fave spots that you need a car for: (dw i will include another list of things that are more local to san juan and also one more thing)

- Playa Sucia, Cabo Rojo: gorgeous beach, i spent a lot of time there in college. you have to walk a bit to get to the actual beach but it’s so worth it. you can also hike up the cliffs surrounding the beach which is so fun and beautiful. and you can go up to the lighthouse which has the most amazing view.

- Crash Boat beach, Aguadilla: another beach, another college me spot. it’s just really cool, people are always playing music, there’s a big ol pier. just very awesome.

- Toro Verde Adventure Park: ZIPLINE. VERY BIG ZIPLINE THAT TAKES YOU 95 MPH. I believe it’s the longest in the US and the third longest in the entire world. the view while you’re on it is unlike anything i have ever seen before 10/10, taking my bf there this weekend.

- Surfing: my fave surf spots are Domes Beach in Rincon. Jobos Beach in Isabela. and La Punta in San Juan. You can search up surf lessons in these beaches and you’ll get a bunch of instructors.

-La Parguera: Bioluminescent bay. It’s so gorgeous and so worth it

- Piñones: Long strip of road with different spots you can get out in and go to the beach in. It’s littered with a bunch of typical puertorican food stands like fried shit that we love. if you want the real PR experience, go on a weekend

Now for some more local San Juan area things to do:

- Again, Surfing: literally just google surf lessons in san juan and a bunch will pop up

- Distrito T-Mobile: Has a bunch of restaurants and live music, definitely a good spot to just kinda hang out in. There’s a huge arcade there as well as one of my fav restaurants: La Central by Mario Pagan (get the truffle butter on the steak)

-La Placita: Drinks. Legal age is 18 here so if you want to PARTY, go here.

-Calle Loiza: same as la placita but more locals go here methinks

-The Place: my fav burger place ever, it’s in Condado. Build your own burger w really good ingredients 10/10

-Pirilo: amazing pizza place. it’s in old san juan so this might be a bit of a cop out but it’s really good regardless.

-Casa Bacardi: Rum factory, you can take a tour and it’s pretty cool

-Paddle Boarding: you can go paddle boarding in Condado Lagoon, if you’re lucky you might even get to see manatees or turtles!!!

- Metropol: my favorite restaurant. they have a bunch of locations but you can’t go wrong with any of them. typical puertorican and cuban food. fucking delicious i can never get enough. (get the sorullitos you won’t regret it.)

Now for the something extra:

-Culebra and Vieques: You can either take a plane or a ferry to either of these islands. They are the most beautiful islands i have ever seen. Very remote so little to no cell service but genuinely so so so worth it because the stars look so amazing at night it’s like nothing i have ever seen before. also Vieques has a bioluminescent beach as well :)

ik some of these are kind of touristy things and not necessarily local but they are genuinely some of my favorite things to do and i will always always always recommend to do at least one of them.

If you google Discover Puerto Rico, that website is amazing and gives you like a million things to do 10/10

here’s a link to my fav youtuber’s vlog where she went to PR and imo she did an amazing job of immersing herself in the culture i adore her: https://youtu.be/KPzqRP0T3ew?si=_sFNg_5kg6N5SGQg

#andianswers #puerto rico

[itsbenedict]

Just finished this game, which I played because my brain has been fried by work problems and I needed something to chill with, but mainly because @konec0 did the soundtrack and I wanna support what he's doing. Still appreciate you pitching in on Nepetaquest 2011 back in the day, dude!

Cuisineer is an arcadey restaurant manager game, and also an isometric hack-and-slash dungeon-crawler roguelike. You delve dungeons to get ingredients, you cook and serve those ingredients in your restaurant, you get money with which to upgrade things and get more ingredients and serve more food. Solid concept!

Does it work? Well... It's very cute, and very polished, but it's held back by some very strange design decisions.

In short... its primary and secondary gameplay loops clearly had a lot of love put into them, but the tertiary loop- the progression systems- are very weirdly balanced to the point of being almost broken.

Bad thing 1

The main problem: everything costs wood and stone. Everything costs wood and stone, and costs more wood and stone the further you upgrade things. But you don't get more wood and stone the further you get in the game, at least once your inventory space maxes out. Wood and stone give way to Magic Wood and Super-Stone of various sorts, which are required for stronger upgrades, but you still need big piles of the basic stuff and can't substitute the advanced stuff, and it's the limiting factor on every single purchase in the game except health potions and rugs for some reason. Combine that with sharply limited inventory space, and money from running the restaurant very swiftly stops mattering compared to how many times you've farmed the starting level for crafting materials. It functionally locks you out of what might be fun systems, like the decoration and furniture stuff- since doing anything cosmetic trades off against progression.

Bad thing 2

Also- in the dungeon-crawler half, there's not much advancement to speak of. You might think these resources could be spent to make you stronger, but... upgrading weapons is expensive and time-consuming and has extremely marginal rewards. Like, the starting weapon does 10 damage, and a fully-upgraded endgame weapon might do 15. The game seems to be trying really hard to avoid being an RPG and letting the player get stronger over time- the various mechanics for upgrading your combat capabilities are just not worth it, and the random weapon drops are mostly identical and do nothing but clutter your inventory.

(It feels like it's trying to limit progression so it can bill itself as a roguelike, even though that's not really what the game is on any meaningful level? Not a choice that really works for it as its own game, imo.)

Bad thing(?) 3

The game's combat is an odd duck. It's... very polished, and very compelling, if you use the one approach that actually works. There's nine weapons, but only a handful are viable with the way combat is designed.

Enemies have very short windows where it's safe to attack them, and are quick to punish you for bad timing or wrong positioning. Reminds me of a soulslike, almost. Healing is sharply limited, so you really need to be careful not to get hit by stuff- and there's so much stuff. Walk into a room, or too close to a room, and everything in it will instantly aggro you, including artillery enemies with long-distance ranged attacks. Problems appear quickly and overwhelmingly, so combat ends up being a case of... dodging massive walls of tomato danmaku and miscellaneous enemy projectiles as you charge into rooms full of enemies and hazards, trying to find one safe place to stand for one second while you hit one enemy for chip damage, over and over again until you gradually thin the enemy numbers and win yourself room to breathe. It's very intense and very fun once you get the rhythm...

...but some weapons just plain don't fit into that rhythm. Many enemies need to be consistently stunlocked to deal damage to them safely, and the reloading projectile weapons and slow hard-hitting weapons just can't do that, forcing you to take hits, which you can't afford to do. Narrow-hitbox spear-type weapons fare poorly against crowds of small enemies who can slip past your guard, which are Everywhere. There's a fun kebab weapon that lets you charge and dash around the stage, but levels are claustrophobic and full of hazards that punish you for doing that. As Chiyo Kumasawa foretold: the only thing you can rely on is your trusty mackerel.

There's also a weird and kind of funny tradeoff where... you can't meaningfully upgrade your damage, but you can roll elemental status effects that can give you some multipliers and useful passive AoE damage as you're dashing around trying not to die. But... these huge AoE elemental effects have very wide, obtrusive visuals that hide the enemies on the screen, and you really need to be paying attention to enemy animations so you don't get hit. It's a sort of unintentional tradeoff of defense for strength, which weirdly works.

Bad thing 4

The writing's kinda flat. You've been hoodwinked into taking on your parents' debt and running their restaurant, you have to pay it off- it's established pretty hastily and mainly ignored. The townspeople have very cute designs, but they're all kind of nothingburger characters whose lives revolve around the urgent need for you to deliver them lots of random food items for contrived reasons in exchange for recipes and stuff. Cast kind of comes off like some softcore smut artist's stable of OCs whose personalities were afterthoughts. Doesn't really go anywhere, the localization's pretty stiff, most jokes don't land... doesn't seem like there was a lot of effort put in there.

Good thing 1

I spill way more words nitpicking flaws than I do praising stuff, but I did enjoy this game enough to finish it, and it's not for no reason.

Firstly- the restaurant section. I have no complaints about the restaurant mode! It's polished to a mirror sheen, honestly. I'm given to understand the restaurant sim is a genre, mainly native to phones, and maybe this all works because it's cribbing mechanics from some more successful inspiration I've never heard of, but... it's just very enjoyable, void of potentially annoying cooking mechanics and letting you focus on queuing up dishes, keeping track of orders, and dashing around making sure everything is running smoothly. The balance job is very nice- the difficulty during lunch and dinner rushes is just enough to make you sweat a little as things ramp up, and they last just long enough to get the most out of the pressure without totally overwhelming you. Chef's kiss, no notes.

Good thing 2

konec0's soundtrack is real good! I mostly know him for his electroswing and HS fanmusic, but he can clearly pull off a wide range of styles. It matches the overall sound design really well and it's enjoyable to listen to. Excellent job there!

Good thing 3

The "final dungeon" segment does this very cool and fun thing where it combines the dungeon-crawling combat and the restaurant management into one challenging final exam where you have to survive combat arenas to scrounge up ingredients as you cook them up and serve them, which would maybe get exhausting in core gameplay but works really well as a challenge for the end of the game. Liiiiittle bit too easy in the first two rounds, but it's fine.

Good thing 4

I already mentioned this alongside the nitpicks, but: when the combat works, it works- the feel of it is satisfying, the challenge is well-calibrated, and the animations look great and convey what's happening well.

Good thing 5

Also the character art is very cute. Lot of fun designs there, even if as mentioned the characters they're attached to are pretty flat. The game's just gorgeous in general- the artists knocked it out of the park.

OH WAIT BAD THING 5

The game's cover/key art prominently features a squid that throws ninja stars! But there's no squid that throws ninja stars in the game! How the heck did that happen!!! Give me the ninja squid!!!!!

#cuisineer #game rec #idk if it's a rec since my opinions are pretty mixed but it should go in the tag #maybe i should go through and add a game review tag

[tetrakys]

MCL Alternate Life review

Now that the three 4-episodes routes have been fully released, I’m ready to spend some final words on AL in general and the three boys specifically.

Plot

The plot is quite simple: AL was created to mostly address the break up, it is the canonical ending to Lysander, Kentin and Armin’s routes (while UL and LL are the canon continuation of Cas’ and Nath’s routes). The general plot is meeting your old boyfriend again, reconnect, solidify the relationship and resolve the long-distance issue. Quite simple, it’s the con of having only 4 episodes, but it does its job well, for years we asked for something that would fix the break up and we got it. Also I liked that the main structure was the same for all three boys, it provides a sense of continuity and a main theme for the season.

System

Same as the other seasons, 2AP x line of dialogue, however there is one main difference. Episodes 2 and 3 have choices which lead to different illustrations and scenes, meaning that they should be replayed twice if all illus with the crush want to be obtained. I personally quite like this system because the episodes are short and cheap, rarely over 1000 AP and this gives me a reason to play twice and extend my gaming experience. Plus replaying doesn’t bore me since the scenes are different as well so it’s almost like having two episodes in one.

The Art

I’m generally always happy about the quality of MCL’s illustrations, and I think AL keeps up with the high standard. As a con, I’d say that the poses might be a bit repetitive, hugging and kissing tend to be quite similar among the three routes, but other than that I’m happy. Backgrounds and sprites are also very good imo, but I’ll get to that soon.

Now, a closer look at the three:

Lysander

My Victorian prince was perfect as a teen and remained perfect in adulthood. Personally I think he looks even more beautiful, if possible, and his personality didn’t change at all, only slightly more mature due to being an adult with adult responsibilities. If on one hand this means that we got exactly what we lost 4 years ago, it also means that he’s the crush that remained the most static, didn’t have a real evolution like all the others did. Like a fae prince who remained frozen in time. It might make his journey a bit less interesting that’s true, but on the other hand can you improve perfection? I don’t think so.

In fact he’s the only crush we didn’t break up with. At first I was a bit surprised “for sure it must be Kentin the one we don’t break up with, right?” but afterward it made so much sense. His AL is one of rediscovery of someone who we never really lost, and despite me not liking farm life it makes perfect sense for him and Candy to have ended up there. His story is soothing, and calm, just like him. Finding him again is like feeling you finally found your place and your home.

Kentin

Kentin grew up a lot since high school. Not only physically as he got taller and bulkier (and hotter) but also mentally. When we meet him again we find someone who has completed a personal journey, a new person who knows his worth and who they are. These years spent travelling the world alone made him grew up and now he’s able to love Candy in a healthy way because he can also love himself. 

His AL is one of getting to know the new mature person he’s become but also finding out that what really matters, his feelings and good heart, are always the same. Its route is full fluff with 5 minutes of drama which only serve to learn how different being with him is going to be now but also how his love didn’t change. His story is about personal growth and the work you have to put on yourself before being able to be in a relationship. 

Armin

Armin is still the same jokester as before, but he’s not a boy anymore, it’s clear that the break up made him grow up as well. His new looks are similar to what he used to wear before (without Alexy’s terrible involvement), I’m not a big fan of the yellow but it compensate with the haircut which imo makes so much more sense than that octopus-looking one he had before. I also love that he kept a smirking teasing expression which is so him. 

His route, while remains similar to the other two in its basic structure, is completely different in the sense that while he did grow up and became more mature, his story isn’t as much as getting to know him while getting to know who Candy and him are together and if they can build something solid and long-lasting. With Lys and Kentin we get a finished product, with Armin we get a work in progress, that makes his route more eventful and dynamic. We start with a fight in episode 1, get a whole journey and end with a final declaration which address all the issues and uncertainties. We see both Candy and Armin grow during the story. 

Personal considerations

I think all 3 routes are really well done so preference becomes a matter of personal taste. On my side, Armin’s is above the other two for the simple fact that I enjoy the drama and the enemies-to-lovers vibe. I also love Candy in this route, and the teasing relationship the both have. I loved following their journey, for me this route is pretty much perfect and I can only hope Beemoov keeps up this amazing writing. 

The other two routes are also really great. Kentin’s route is perfect for people who like fluff above all and just want to live a sweet love story. Lys’ is for people who want to play something soothing and with a more fairy tail vibe. 

I’m happy we finally got a happy ending with the three of them and these endings make so much sense: with Lys we could only join him in his farm life, not my thing as I said, but I never saw Lys as someone who could enjoy the rockstar lifestyle, his choices don’t have to work for me, they have to work for him and I’m happy they do. With Kentin it wouldn’t have felt right if he gave up his lifestyle and stayed in town for us, it would’ve been a complete step back from his personal journey to see him give up everything and chase Candy once again, so I’m happy it’s Candy the one joining him this time. And with Armin, with all the times Candy was the one to follow him in his passions and hobbies (plus the whole long-distance and Disney debacle) it had to end with him staying, and I’m so glad it did.

So now that we got our happy endings, what’s left?

I guess we’ll see 😏

#mcl #mclal #my candy love #mcl rambling #game review

[finitevariety]

i'm rereading bold and forth on (amazing btw, just as good if not better a second time) and i was wondering if you Intentionally coded tom as autistic? i'm autistic myself and i really relate to the way you describe the way he thinks about social structure and social interaction lol. what made me send this ask in particular is the reveal that he had a post-it note flow chart for talking to shiv when he lived in the hong kong flat bc that is completely something i would do. anyway thank you for you amazing writing and i can't wait to read some of your other work!

ahhh thank you! Yes, I did.

As horrible as it is to admit relating to Tom, I really do--and so while writing bold and forth on I ended up put a lot of myself into him (there's one moment where I have a kid version of him feel sorry for all the other toys in the store: that was a direct pull from my own life). I am also autistic, and I think it's not even too much of a reach to read or portray Tom as the same given how much, canonically, he obsesses over the 'right' thing to do--and how often he's perceived to fail despite that level of effort.

I remember as a kid I was constantly sure that there was some cheat code or manual I was missing that would just make life work the way it was supposed to. Tom has pretty clearly, imo, spent a long time searching for the same. It's partly why I wrote the initial Tomshiv romance as being partly about her showing him 'how to be rich', the same way he later offers to do for Greg. There's something about that which, as gently mocking as Shiv is, or can be, feels to Tom like being held--because he hasn't had clear guidance like that before. With the rules laid out like that, maybe this feels to him like a game he and Shiv can win.

Tom talks about the nudie turtles and the hardening you have to submit yourself to in order to make it in the corporate city, but he chose to move into that world. I think he thought somewhere that was transparent about its cruelty would at least be easier to handle than a world where everyone was (or seemed) cruel in a more coded, hidden way. At the very least it might elevate him above people he felt rejected by or angry about or whatever. I think that impulse is clear in the fact he tries to use Greg as a punchbag and keeps failing to be adequately mean enough. He thinks it will make him feel better to be an asshole to someone because everyone shits on him, and then he's not even any good at that! He keeps sliding into empathy!

I'm really drawn to the side characters in Succession because they're not born into it. They ran away to the cruelest circus on earth and signed up to ride a little unicycle and get eggs thrown at them because they thought the rewards--status and power and cash--were worth it. What makes someone run toward that? Yes, he genuinely fell in love with Shiv, but he also fell in love with what she represented--a fucking meal ticket, and an escape (and she knew it, too! He ended up being coded about the true nature of their romance in order to try to preserve it, and it bit them both).

#sorry for the rambling answer op #bfo deez nuts

[narwhalandchill]

yknow as much as the (deserved) inazuma backlash has clearly changed hoyos writing for the better i do think there v much is one completely wrong lesson theyve taken from it and thats incorporating story quests into the AQ sequence (and specifically how theyve never attempted it again)

the concept itself was Never inherently bad. in fact it unironically has a ton of potential bc you could lessen the need for sudden character specific exposition in the AQ AND pull off way more high-stakes and timeline-specific plotlines in the SQs by ensuring players will experience it at the intended place and time.

the issue was that they introduced a bleak depressing inazuma in the middle of a fucking civil war and then went omg AQ on pause!!! lets go to a festival with ayaka and u will be her first friend ever OwO yoimiyas is at least vastly better written and actually involves the VH and sakoku decrees so its always been a favorite of mine but even then im sure theres things worth criticism in there its just been 2 years so i cant analyze it off the top of my head. but the greatest offender has always been the way ayakas comes with such a complete tonal dissonance it just takes you out of the atmosphere they spent the entire act I building up.

and it rly makes me sad bc i Know hoyo took the backlash about interrupted pacing and disjointed tone as "ok story quests bad as AQ requirements" when its like. no the one you wrote just sucked

AQ incorporated story quests need to have a damn good reason to be mandatory at that specific point and while its far from perfect i DO think yoimiyas fulfills that! but ayakas doesnt! at all! and like im realizing the issue is also in how genshins made it a standard that a character must receive a story quest Instantly on release. so i guess ayakas had to be in between acts I and II for plot reasons but like. that being the case then the story quest itself shouldve focused on a completely different theme as opposed to her very predictable tropey personal problems that werent even explored properly imo. like im sure plenty of depth and nuance in her characterization was lost in translation but i almost cry laughed the first time the restaurant vendor went "oh ayaka is lonely because she is so perfect that no one sees her as a friend but instead an aspiration" like what in the 3rd grader writing mary sue self insert fic tarnation 💀 you couldve worded that exact same concept in 12 different ways to make it actually sound poignant and you did That SHAHSKSJSKDLJH

(and a quick addition before i get accused of being a blind hater hater lmao. here goes: "the burdens of miss ayakas position as the public face of the kamisato make it difficult for her to shed the mask of practiced perfection. i think people struggle to see her as a person whod enjoy simple things in life like friendship just like everyone else when theyre so used to viewing her as an unreachable figurehead." there. now its way more clearly nuanced. this took me 3 minutes and is far from any fluid writing yet. the difference is staggering)

but like. as a result this ambiguous timeline limbo most story quests end up falling into is genuinely a shame bc i do think theres potential in attempting the ayaka n yoi thing again but with characters for whom it makes sense and actually enhances the AQ experience by necessitating it. and yeah yeah ik genshin wants to be casual friendly so they dont want to force ppl to do quests they dont like for AQ so its unrealistic to expect them to ever try it out again but man

as long as they pick the right place and time and characters for it they could massively alleviate the issue of some story quests contents ending up feeling like somewhat empty fluff bc they cant assume what point a player will be in the main plot could be so they lack actually impactful lore and or character beats.

obviously im not a writer at hoyo and idk how much backlash the ayaya/yoi situation got them but like. idk. taking the lesson "never do anything like inazuma again" isnt rly what id consider the full picture. inazuma does suck and has clunky moments throughout but like in 2.0 people were still hype! inazuma had good ideas and concepts and attempted sth that couldve been great the issue isnt inazuma bad on all levels its that they never delivered its potential and 2.1 was an incredible letdown.

#like idk i dont want to assume but. i Daresay of recent quests. neuvillettes SQ will NOT hit the same if its not in between acts 4 and 5 #it does SO MUCH to expand on his character and relationship to fontaine and humanity and as a result act 5 emotional climax hits so hard #bc youve literally Been there seeing him retrospect on the way he and the melusines have gone from distrusted outsiders #to beloved members of the community. like hes super well written in the AQ either way but witnessimg that growth does sooo much for him #& adds weight to his ultimate choice to forgive the original sin of fontaines people. but played post act 5 idk if will hit the same at all #its still gonna be good im sure but. it was so scrumptious in between acts 4 and 5 #anywau. idk i just think more charaxters could get expanded moments and interesting dynamic stories #if this option of an AQ tied story quest was utilized well #thats all its just my thoughts in here. bouncing in my skull. slappimg together like fish in a barrel #genshin #rambles