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teyamsatan · 1 year

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The Archer | Chapter IX: Safe and Sound (All is Found)

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Summary: You and Kiri wander into the unknown in your search for the eldest Sully, whilst he's forced to come to terms with his own mortality and make a choice between a comfortable past and an uncertain future.

Pairings: Neteyam x Avatar!Reader

Word Count: 10,5k words

Warnings/notes: angst (lots and lots of angst), mentions of death, blood, violence, cursing, some fluff.

A/N: Surprise! This is not the last chapter of The Archer!!! I tried to finish it, I really did, but there was no way to do it justice in just one chapter, so I hope you will be happy to know I am working on the actual last chapter right now and that should hopefully come out on Monday. We're almost at the end and I am incredibly emotional thinking of this series finishing, and I hope you guys have enjoyed coming on this 200k word journey with me. I love you all so so much and thank you for reblogging, for replying, for commenting and following, you mean the world. Enjoy x

↳ *Spotify playlist* ༉‧₊˚✧

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down

You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now

Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound

You had a miscarriage. You had a miscarriage. You had a miscarriage.

Even unconscious, the four words swam in your mind, unable to drown them out, their weight drowning you instead.

You had a miscarriage. You had a miscarriage. You had a miscarriage.

Neteyam knew then, clearer than ever, that something was wrong. This was all wrong. How was he in the forest? How were you here? How were you breathing this air? How were you so tall? When did they come back to the forest? Why was he always in between states of consciousness? What the hell was going on??

He pushed you off him and watched as you confusedly got up and try to shake off the nap with a wobble of your head.

“What the hell, Neteyam?”

His gaze hardened taking you in, taking whoever or whatever you were in, and he spoke angrily.

“Who the hell are you?”

“What do you mean who the hell am I? I’m me.”

“You can’t be you, because you’re human. You can’t be you because you’re as tall as a Na’vi girl and you’re breathing in our air. You haven’t been human in a long time. So who are you?”

He watched as you look at him intently, and your expression finally settled on a look of acknowledgement.

“Ah… you’re finally remembering.”

Neteyam battled a splitting headache as he tried to make sense of something that didn’t make any sort of sense in his mind.

“So, the memory of us in the marui, the morning of us waking up together, swimming, that is real?”

Your brows furrowed at his words, and you looked like you were thinking hard about your next words.

“I don’t know, Neteyam. It might have been real, it most likely was.”

“How can you be you and not remember? Stop fucking playing with me. I’m tired of this, I just want to know the truth.”

Your temper rose quickly, clear as day on your face, just like it always was - you’ve never been able to keep it at bay.

“I’m not playing with you, Neteyam! I can’t help you. I’m here for you, do you understand? You have to figure this out for yourself. I can’t say anything until you figure it out yourself.”

Neteyam sighed deeply, closing his eyes tightly and bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose, trying to alleviate the headache that felt like would break him in two if it kept going. Think, Neteyam.

“Ok, then what can you tell me?”

“I’m here for you. It’s me. I’m just not… fuck. Not the me you know anymore.”

You looked scared as you pushed the last words out, and looked around you for something to happen, darting your eyes to the sky and to the forest enveloping you both. Almost as on command, he felt the world disintegrate around him and his vision dulled, and he knew he was going to sleep again. Your voice screamed at him as you were being pulled from his grasp once more. Don’t leave, don’t leave me again.

“Think of everything that’s happened since you arrived, play it all back. Think of your dreams. Just think, Neteyam. I’m here for you.”

You didn’t know how much time passed when you woke up, but you saw that it was light, so it was at least a few hours. The morphine drip was empty, as you were, and so the pain was back full force, reminding you what you had and what you lost. You had a miscarriage.

You had been pregnant. Your mind fluttered to the pills you kept by your and Neteyam’s mat, the pills you completely forgot about since the return to the tulkun, since the night Neteyam came in you, since you begged him to. The death of Roa and her calf took your attention away the next morning, and then all hell broke loose. You didn’t even know how long it had been since then. A week? A bit more? A week…

There are full years in people’s lives, decades in which life is dull, boring and uneventful. Unwavering truths and comfortable routines, you knew very little of. Your life was always a storm, always chaotic, always moving. Your life was adapt or die always and still, still, there were moments, unfrequent moments where even that chaos was subdued and middling - that was your peace. But then when chaos came, it was a tornado. It was a hurricane ready to tear everything in its path apart. There were no half measures in your life. No little disasters. Only death, only mass destruction, only loss so grave it burned everything good to ashes on the ground.

“Just fucking admit you don’t want to have my kids. You don’t want a family.”

“You know what? You are right. I don’t want a baby with you.”

You did this. You did it once more. You managed to ruin yet another thing in your life, like you couldn’t seem to be able to help yourself. Neteyam was in a coma because of you. Your dad was dead because of you. The baby you spitefully told Neteyam you didn’t want is gone, and you knew then even if Neteyam did come back, he would never forgive you for this. Because you put it out there, in the universe, in the wind, and Eywa heard you. And Eywa listened.

You forcefully removed all the needles in your body and made your way slowly, painfully towards your mate’s still body, and felt blood pouring from within you. Every step hurt so badly it was splitting you in half, and you remembered the pain of the virus slowly taking over your body, slowly eating you from the inside out and it felt like greeting an old, familiar friend. You said a silent thank you to whomever dressed you in thick loincloths that absorbed all the liquid spilling out, and sat down slowly next to Neteyam. You could hear voices from the outside of the marui, your family, whispering away, low voices almost like a hum, almost like a song.

“Neteyam…?” Crying came so easily to you recently it felt like second nature after all this time, so perpetual and constant, it felt like you spent more time doing it than not.

“I’m not trying to rush you or anything… but now would be a really good time for you to wake up. Just… just please wake up.”

“I’m sorry. I am so so sorry. I miss you so much, and I know you probably hate me, and I know you’ll probably hate me even more when you come back, and I am willing to accept it, I am willing to live my whole life earning your forgiveness, but I need you to be in it. I need you. Please, come back to me so I don’t feel so alone anymore.”

What was that?

A voice. Faint and echoed, barely there, but he heard it. Your voice. Your voice swimming in his subconscious, floating in his dormant mind, waking him up.

“I’m sorry. I am so so sorry…”

“…I know you probably hate me…”

“…I need you…”

Another dream enveloped him masterfully, tugging at him until he woke up, in the ship again - that damned ship. A dream he’s had before, a nightmare, horrid and anguished. He braced himself for the pain he already knew was coming, for the terror he’s had to live through so many times now he knew its every beat by heart. The humans. The Avatars. The guns - theirs and his. The noise as the bullets left, the way his mind stopped for a split second every time he heard someone go down because of him, because of his shots. The guilt eating at him, mixed with the anger and rage he felt for his planet, for these monsters, the fear for his siblings, for you, the sick hope that this could all be over soon. He felt it all, he lived it all - over and over and over. The sharp sting as a bullet pierced his body, in one way, out the other. The uneven stream of consciousness. Your body, his family’s bodies, sprawled all over him as he gave his last breath. He saw it all. He lived it all.

He lived it all. Not a dream. A memory.

A memory. His death was a memory.

You finally decided it was time to step into the light of the day outside your marui and face your family, although the thought of having to think about it, speak about it, watch them be sad about it close to made you pass out again. Regardless, you had to brave through it. You had to, because there was still a long road ahead. And you had a job to do now. You had to bury your dad, and then you had to go to the Spirit Tree. Everyone’s eyes shot up to your slow-moving figure as you approached them, a cocktail of emotions on their faces - from shock, to sadness, to curiosity and confusion, to grief, it was all the emotions you were feeling and didn’t want to anymore.

Lo’ak hurried to your side and took an arm and plopped it on his shoulders as one of his hands found yours, and the other your midriff, holding you in place.

“I got you, Angel.”

You smiled and looked at the side of his face and at the two beaded braids swinging with every step. “Thank you, brother.”

Multiple hands reached out to help you sit down, and you convulsed in pain as your body made contact with the floor.

“What are you doing out of bed?” Norm’s hand didn’t let you go, stretching your arm to look at it and tsk-ing at you annoyedly when he saw small purple marks where you yanked your IV needles out of your arms. The back of his hand then moved to your forehead, trying to gauge your temperature.

“Your fever’s down. How are you feeling?”

You were slightly shy at the small crowd of people staring at you, clinging to your every word. You wanted to lie, to say you were fine, but you didn’t have it in you to deceive these people anymore.

“I don’t know.” The tears that had stained your cheeks were long gone, but new ones weren’t far behind, as the weight of the past few days was slowly bearing down on you.

“In a few days, I lost a dad, a mate and a baby I didn’t even know I had. I don’t know how I am.”

You felt Neytiri’s arm on your back, slowly patting it up and down in an effort to console you. If anyone got what you went through, you imagined it’s her. Still, you felt so alone. More alone than you’ve ever felt in this life or the last. Even at your lowest, even that horrible whole 17th year, even that couldn’t compare. Nothing could compare to the catastrophic wave that crushed you like a tsunami and kept you there, unable to get up, unable to come up for air. You had so many people around you, so much family, and yet you’ve never felt more isolated.

Suddenly, you saw most of them get up and leave quietly, with only a slight tug of your shoulder or a kiss of your cheek or on the top of your head - all of them, except for Jake. He scooted over to where you were until his legs were parallel to yours and almost touching you. He looked at the water as he spoke.

“I thought you might want some peace and quiet.”

You nodded softly. “Thank you.”

“I’m so sorry, baby girl. I know there are no words, no words that could ever make this better, but I want you to know I am sorry.”

“Yeah… me too.”

His gaze shifted to the marui, and you followed his gaze to Neteyam’s body, resting on his mat.

“I miss him so much, kid.”

“I think he’s going to hate me, if he ever comes back.” You couldn’t help the way your voice broke halfway through the sentence.

Jake’s head snapped to you again, a confounded look on his face.

“What are you saying, kid? Why would you say that? My son could never hate you.”

“He’ll hate me. I know he will.”

Jake said nothing as he waited for you to continue. You cried softly as you tried to calm your mind by focusing on the fish swimming peacefully by your feet.

“Before the ship, before Payakan, we got into a fight. A big fight, probably the biggest we’ve ever had. The message, the one on the tulkun… I knew what it meant. I lied to you, to all of you. It was a message from my dad to me. He told me to meet him and I did, I went by myself at night.”

You didn’t look at Jake as you spoke but you felt his whole body stiffen next to yours, and there was no more warmth radiating off of him. Your heart was racing in your chest as you registered the changes and how mad he probably was.

“That’s when I forgave him… kind of. There was still so much unresolved, so much him and I still had to talk about. But when I came back, Neteyam was waiting for me. He was really mad, just like you are now. He… accused me of conspiring with the enemies, of putting him and your family in danger. He poured out all of his frustrations with me, including the one that hurt him most: that he felt I didn’t want a family with him. That I didn’t want his babies. I was so mad, so angry at how quickly he jumped the gun, how he always held so much in until it always exploded in my face, so I just told him that he was right. And that I don’t. And now I lost his baby. I lost his baby because of what I said, and he’s going to think it too and he’s never going to forgive me for it.”

Silence fell in between you, heavy silence, so heavy you felt its weight bearing down on you and the cries turned to sobs, the only sounds that could be heard.

“You know, kid, me and my family didn’t have the best relationship. A lot like your dad, I took to the military to get away from them all. Unlike your dad, though, I was the asshole. I was reckless and impulsive, and felt the constant need to prove myself. My brother, Tommy, he was the smart one. So smart, top of the class his whole life, valedictorian, model student. Got his PhD at 20, got the opportunity of a lifetime to come study on Pandora. A good kid, too. The perfect son, the perfect brother. I couldn’t stand it. The better he did, the worse I did. The more I wanted to prove how unlike him I was, how I was going to make my own path in life.” He scoffed at himself, at the memories of the past.

“I did well, too. In the army. I was good. I gained independence and everything I ever wanted. But I pushed them all away. My mother, and father, and Tommy. I didn’t see them for years. When I lost my legs and had to be shipped back, I was all alone. My fault, my own doing. I knew it, all along, how wrong I was, that all these people ever did was love me - and Tommy’s biggest fault was being a kind and compassionate person, a good brother. When he died, I felt empty. The guilt came later, it came at night, on Pandora, as I felt like I got another chance at life, a life I literally took from him. It came when I got accepted into the Clan, when I fell in love with Neytiri. It comes now, when I see the rivalry between Lo’ak and Neteyam and I know I created it. I see it when I see that Lo’ak is just a carbon copy of myself and my mistakes, and the more I try to steer him away the more I turn him into me. And I see Tommy in Neteyam, every day.”

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened, baby girl. There is so much you’ve had to endure, and no person in the world, much less Neteyam, would be surprised all the pain and stress took its toll on your body. You lost so much, and you gave so much to make sure Neteyam lived, how could he ever blame you? How could he ever hate you?”

“Throughout his whole life, both your lives, you have been Neteyam’s solace. His light, isn’t that what he calls you? I had to watch him lie to us and sneak out for years to come to you, no matter how much he inherited his distaste of humans from Neytiri, we still could never keep him away from that lab.” he chuckled to himself. “I had to watch him suffer for a year when he left, knowing there’s nothing I can do to help him - or you. I love my wife, I love her with my whole heart, more than I could love anything else, but the love you and Neteyam have, I’ve never seen anything like it as long as I have been alive. So I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”

“Wait… you knew about Neteyam sneaking out at night?”

Jake rose his eyebrow at you. “D’you think we’re stupid, kid? I mean it didn’t click from the get go, he had good excuses for a while, but after a few months, we realised he didn’t just have to… what did he used to say…?” He thought about it for a second. His eyes widened and finger wagged in the air as he remember. “Ah, yes! Release himself… for a few hours every night, ha! We were worried and we punished him the first few times we caught him, but it didn’t matter. So when we asked Norm and he told us he was there, safe in your room, we let it go. Did he never tell you?”

“No… he never told me.” He wanted to protect you, he didn’t want you to know he was being punished for sneaking out to see you.

“Wait… Norm knew too?” You groaned at the thought, your little bubble of privacy bursting suddenly.

“I know you like to think you’re the smartest person in the room, and you know what, kid? You are, but we’re not old, oblivious farts just yet.”

“Aw, pops. Never thought you were. Just thought we were being sneaky and getting away with it. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. The thing is, kid, neither you or Neteyam have ever really been children. And a lot of this is our fault… my fault. You were both forced to grow up much faster than you should have. You’ve both always known your own minds and hearts very well, and we knew quite soon you were inseparable. Keeping you two apart would have been as easy as parting mountains, so eventually we just let you be.”

You smiled a little at Jake’s confession, and sighed deeply as soon as you thought about Neteyam again. About the horrible circumstances that led to this conversation.

“What if I won’t be able to have children again? What if this was my only chance? Our only chance?”

He laughed a little and took you in his arms, and your head was now in his chest, crying quietly.

“I wouldn’t stress about that, kid. I think between the two of us, me and Neteyam will be able to coach our own football team soon.”

“Ew, gross.”

He laughed some more, a real dad laugh, and you did too, surprised that he somehow managed to elevate your mood.

Later, in the tent, the two middle siblings rejoined you as you were being checked by Norm and Max. You felt uncomfortable talking about this around so many people, your siblings, but you also wanted to be open, wanted to share in your pain and burdens, as you knew they wanted you to. You’ve kept to yourself your whole life, and this grief, the grief of losing Neteyam, of losing a baby that would have been their little niece or nephew, that you knew they would have adored and cared for every day of its life, you all had to suffer through together. So you allowed them to stay.

“How is the bleeding?”

“It’s manageable. Almost like a heavy period, I think?”

“That’s good. Let us know if it becomes worse, alright?” He eyed you intently. “Do you hear me, Ace? You can’t do what you always do, this is serious. You have to tell us.”

“I will tell you. I promise.”

“Good. Now, you have options. You can wait for it to pass naturally, or we can give you pills for it, but that will mean taking the helo back to the forest, we don’t have the pills with us.”

“I’ll wait.”

“…Alright. You will be bleeding for up to three weeks. Physical recovery from a miscarriage can take up to 2 months. That means no swimming, Ace.”

You shook your head.

“Ace…”

“Angel, you have to listen to them. You can’t put your health at risk anymore.”

“Zip it, Lo’ak. You of all people cannot give me a lecture on putting my health at risk.”

Kiri scoffed in Lo’ak direction, but turned to you, a stern look on her face.

“My stupid brother has a point. You have to stay here.”

“No, I have to bury my dad. And there’s one more thing I need to do. And then I’ll rest, I promise. No exercise for as long as you want, promise.”

“What else do you need to do?”

Your eyes flickered in between Lo’ak and Kiri, as well as the two scientists who all eyed you keenly. You wanted to tell them, wanted to so badly - deadly afraid of more secrets, more things to keep hidden deep in your soul until they burst out of you inevitably, leaving damage in their wake. But the thought of giving them false hope, the thought of seeing their spirit reborn as they hear Neteyam might be alright, might be within reach in Eywa, only to have it be taken away once more, killed you. It tortured you, it haunted you. You’ve spent your whole life having parts of your soul stripped away a piece at a time, so many years of being emptied out with every blow until you were a hollow shell of your former self - you were built for this. They weren’t. They had a life to live, a future to experience - endless adventures and happiness that you would make sure to protect and honour as much as you could. Because that’s what Neteyam did. Because that’s what siblings do.

At the same time, another thought, a worse thought gnawed at you - what if Neteyam was alright, what if you could bring him back, and you allowed his family to think of the worst, to assume their son, their sibling, their hero might never return to them? To make them stew in the pain that took so much from you, that gutted you and took your breath away, the pain that alleviated a little as soon as you chatted with Norm, it was cruel. It was winless fight, a lose-lose situation. But you knew if it was you, you’d want to know.

They deserve to know. They deserve the respect of being thought of as strong enough to handle themselves and the situations presented to them. They weren’t kids anymore. And they were never just any kids anyway. They were the kids of the Toruk Makto, of Palulukan Makto, of one of the greatest scientists that ever lived. They were Omatikaya kids, forced in fire. They had withstood wars and trials most people can’t even imagine. They were strong, and capable. You watched them grow up, you were there to watch them and love them, and now it was time to trust them.

“OK… Norm, can you stop that for a second? I need to talk to all of you.” Everyone was so focused on you, it was making you nervous. Thinking of Tsireya’s swimming lessons, you took a deep breath in and breathed out slowly, carefully, trying to imagine flickering a flame. You felt your heartbeat slow down in you chest and when it was normal again, you spoke.

“Before we were about to leave for my dad’s funeral, before… everything happened, Norm showed me something strange happening in Neteyam’s brain. A seizure.” Your eyes settled on Kiri. “A seizure like the one you went through at the Spirit Tree.” Kiri gasped slowly and took your arm, squeezing gently.

“That means…”

She’s always been quick, you thought proudly. “Yes. I think that Neteyam’s in Eywa. I think the seizures are visions… like the ones I got when I died. Now, I don’t want to raise your hopes up. I don’t know if it’s true. I don’t know anything. All I know is, it’s worth a try. So I will go and plug into the Spirit Tree after the funeral and try to find him and bring him back.”

“I want to come. I can help.”

You have to admit that you thought about it. You wanted Kiri to come with, her deep and unexplainable connection wit Eywa a possible advantage in your endeavour, but your mind flickered to her seizure, Max’s words ringing painfully in your ears. “If she seizes underwater again, it could kill her.”

Norm beat you to it. “Kiri, I don’t think you should plug into the Spirit Tree underwater anymore.”

“Look, I can do this.” She sighed, and looked at her fidgety fingers. “During the ship attack… I killed people.”

The same expression was mirrored in the faces all around you, deep concern and shock clearly visible in your eyes. “What?”

“I connected to some plants underwater and I… I used them to kill humans. I controlled them with my mind. Then I did it again when I was able to control glowing fish to find mum and Tuk in the ship. Something’s changed, guys. I can feel her, her power coursing through my veins. I can help. I can get us to Neteyam.”

Although taken aback, Kiri’s powers came with little surprise to you. You’ve guessed all along she had a bigger role to play than anyone could have ever foreseen, but to see her come into her own and discover them slowly, to watch it unfold, it was magical.

“A bleeding mess and a seizing mess, going together to revive our protective, loving, neurotic mess. How can this possibly go wrong?” You rolled your eyes, but were secretly happy you didn’t have to do this by yourself, that you had your sister to rely on.

Neteyam was gasping so loudly, panting violently as the memory faded. His eyes were unfocused and his lungs were on fire, and his hand shot to his chest at the pain that shot through him, feeling for a wound that wasn’t there, for blood that refused to spill. He patted himself and looked at his hand, and there was nothing. Nothing.

“You’re here for me.”

Neteyam’s whole body froze, eyes fixed on your own wide ones, just waiting to see the words that will come out of his mouth.

“I’m dead… I’m dead, aren’t I?”

Your eyes softened and then closed, taking a deep breath in and exhaling it slowly through your mouth. You nodded meekly. The tears that formed in your eyes only angered Neteyam, who felt his blood heating up in his veins until they bubbled, threatening to spill outside his body.

“I am dead and you have been toying with me, playing mind games and singing songs for Eywa knows how long?! What the fuck is wrong with you? Who even are you?”

You winced at his harsh words, the movement allowing for your tears to fall freely down you face.

“I couldn’t tell you, Neteyam. I’m not allowed to tell you. The last time I saw you, when you came to the Spirit Tree, I said too much and was immediately pushed out of your vision. Every time I said anything ever since you came back, you fell back into a liminal state of being and I was taken away.”

Neteyam’s head was spinning, world moving chaotically around him and he felt the need to sit, to ground himself to what he knew. He lowered his body next to the river bank, and allowed the water to rush over his calves, the murmuring sounds and rushing stream calming his nerves and heart. He didn’t look at you.

“Now that I remembered, can you just tell me?”

He heard your footsteps approaching behind him and you found a place on the floor next to him, one leg in the river while the other was bent at the knee, propped against his thigh. He saw your eyes tracing his side profile in his periphery and turned to face you, your beauty so overwhelming it made him ache. Seeing you with his memory intact, seeing you human for the first time in a year, your eyes and hair, your soft skin and beauty marks, your nose, your lips, it brought back feelings in him that he didn’t realise he even had. So much sadness for this you he’d lost, that he thought he’d lost forever, so much yearning to feel you, feel your much colder body, your more defined curves, your scent. So many memories of the girl he grew up with, so tiny and vulnerable, so fiery and wild, so sad and wise beyond her years, memories of the forest, his own upbringing, his own life. You were like a walking, talking reminder of the past, a past he loved, a past of joy, and love and adventures, of hope and childhood. A past long gone.

“Who are you? How is it possible that you are here? You are alive.”

You looked towards the river and sighed, thinking before you spoke.

“I’m me. I just don’t think I’m the same me as the one currently alive. I think when I did the consciousness transfer, a part of me, the human part of me, stayed behind. I’ve been here, in this forest, for a long time. I was so confused, for so long. I was just here, in this clearing, all alone.

And then one day, I got this dream. This horrible nightmare. I saw you, on a ship. I saw you fighting with Spider and Lo’ak, fighting humans and… blue men, like Avatars? I saw you getting shot. I saw you getting pulled to a rock. I saw you die, I saw myself losing everything in an instant.

Over time, I’d see glimpses. Of you, and your life. Of me. I saw the love, and the fights. I saw the late night ikran rides, and the passion so wild it could light the whole forest on fire. I saw your frustrations, and my own, grow in size. I saw us leaving, I saw us dreaming - for a future, a better one. One where we’d get to be free.

And then one day… you came. And I was so happy to see you again. And so scared. But I knew then that that’s why I’m here. That’s my purpose. My purpose here is you. I am here to be your light. To guide you. I just don’t know if I’m supposed to be guiding you back home or in the afterlife.”

Neteyam’s skin was littered with goosebumps at your words, at their implication, at knowing even in his afterlife, it was just you and him. You were his light, since the moment you were born and for the rest of eternity. He turned to fully face you, his pose mirroring your own now, and he took your face gently in both his hands, and wiped the tears from your warm cheeks with his thumbs. His face lowered to yours and your foreheads touched, the proximity almost unbearable in the feelings it invoked in him. He breathed you in and noted how unlike your Avatar body, you still smelled like the snapshots of the lab and of human concoctions you called perfume, sweet and mellow, and so, so familiar. You stood like that, motionless in this moment he didn’t want to ever end. If this was death, he was happy to oblige it, happy to indulge in it for the rest of time.

“I can’t believe it’s you. I can’t believe you’re here, that just like we talked about when we were 8, this is our heaven. That we can be in here together.”

“Neteyam… you can still go back. You can still choose to live.”

Neteyam removed his forehead from yours and looked at your eyes, sad and willing him to listen, to hear you out. Your hand wrapped around his wrist and you started caressing up and down his forearm in a consoling motion.

“What?”

“I had a choice. And so do you. I was so scared when I first saw you, but so relieved at the same time. I have been alone for so long, and you are the only one, the only one I ever wanted to see again. But I knew that if I were to ever see you again, that would mean my dream came true. And that scared me. That terrified me more than anything else. And if not seeing you again, being alone for all eternity was what it took for you to live, then I was happy with that. So I warned you, the best I could, but I was pulled out of the vision, and so were you. I realised then there are rules to this.

You have a choice to make, Neteyam, just like I did. No one can change that, no one can alter it. It has to come from you. You had to be able to remember you died, to remember what brought you here if you were to make that choice, and I couldn’t help you get there. Eywa doesn’t take sides.”

Neteyam was brought to a standstill. It was overwhelming, everything happening to him, everything he was going through and his mind finally remembered you, the real you, and his family that he left behind when he died. He felt so sick, so selfish having it just dawned on him that this didn’t just concern him. And although he had you, even in this life, you - the real you didn’t have him anymore. His parents, his siblings - they didn’t have him anymore.

“Can you see…? You said you get glimpses… of my life, of your life. Please tell me you’re ok. Please tell me my family is ok.”

You looked sad, so sad. Your lips pursed in a tight line and you shook your head slowly.

“Were you ok when I died?”

The immediate pain that he always felt as soon as he remembers the moment you gave your last breath in that lab, the power it still held over him even so long after, even whilst holding you taut against his body and feeling your strong heartbeat and looking into your eyes, that shimmered like the night sky, almost knocked him straight to the ground in agony.

“I had a choice. And so do you.” A choice. A choice between life and death. Between the future and the past. Between the ocean and the forest. Between his kids that he’s always dreamt of having, and the possibility of you never wanting your own. The choice between a happy afterlife or a scary, death-filled future.

“Did you know? When it happened to you?”

“Yes… I did.”

“You said you saw auntie Jo when you died. You said you saw Earth, and her old house. Why am I here?”

You smiled warmly up at him, tears making a temporary home in the two dimples on the side of your mouth.

“I think we go where we most want to go. I think we see what we longed for the most in life. The closer I got to dying, the more I needed my mum. I wanted to see her again, I wanted to see what her life was like, before me, before all of this. There was so much trauma I had because of her death, and it was the thing that my soul yearned for the most, I think. Just one last chance to hear her voice. For you… it’s this forest. What you wanted the most was to go home. And you wanted a family. You got to see the family we would have had that you envisioned when I was still human. Back before the Sky People returned, back before everything became complicated and messy. Back in the past, where our biggest concern was that we loved each other too much - too much for a human and a Na’vi.”

Neteyam thought long and hard about the situation he faced - that he found himself in. This choice, it was tugging at his heart painfully, it was tearing him apart. He thought it would be simple. It should be simple. Life or death, right? It’s as simple as it gets. Except death had everything he’s ever wanted and none of the things he didn’t want, none of the insecurities, and the pain and the fear, none of the uncertainty or the fights, none of the terror of thinking he might lose his family, he might lose you. None of the responsibilities, none of forsaken dreams, none of the forgotten plans. Death had you, the you he fell in love with, the you that he grew up with, the you that was ever-present in most of his most precious memories. Death had the kids, his kids, his perfect kids and the forest. It had this clearing, and happiness, and joy. It had peace.

He didn’t realise he was hyperventilating, tears blurring his vision until he felt your hand on his chest, over his heart, your touch bringing him much needed solace.

“Why is this so hard? Why does my heart hurt so badly?”

“I think it’s hard because you know deep in your heart what you want. You know what you want to do, and thinking about the consequences hurts you. But you have to say it, Neteyam. You have to acknowledge it.”

He didn’t think he could say it, could bring himself to admit it out loud. But he had to. He owed himself that, and the people waiting for him to come back.

“I don’t know if I want to go back.”

Right before eclipse, Jake and Neytiri returned to your tent, and with a deep sigh, you adjusted your clothes you have been wearing since before you passed out, and felt ready to finally do this.

“It’s time, baby girl.”

You nodded softly and felt grateful for your family, which was surrounding you on all sides, holding your hands and shoulders, making sure you knew and felt their presence and their support - both of which you needed desperately, especially now. You all got on ilu and started making your way in silence towards the Cove of the Ancestors. It would be your first time seeing it; you tried to suppress the wince that was threatening to escape you at the memory of the fight that ensued after you chose spending time with Lo’ak over coming to this place the first time, with your mate. What you wouldn’t give for those fights now, for any opportunity to see him and hear his voice ring in your ears.

As you entered underneath a few columns, you were speechless at the beauty, the indescribable beauty displayed for your eyes to see. Floating islands, and zenith arches stood tall and mighty as the underwater nature illuminated the cove brightly in kaleidoscopic hues. It was breathtaking, it was beyond your wildest dreams. Neteyam was right to be upset. You would have given anything to see this with him, and hated yourself a little at denying you both this once-in-a-lifetime chance.

The whole of the Metkayina clan was waiting for you, solemn and dignified, dressed in mournful garbs and intricate jewellery adorning their beautiful cyan bodies. Your dad was placed in a floating enclosure, filled with sea water and flowers, and emotion bubbled in your chest at his sight. Ronal, Tonowari and their two children looked at you and your family, and you greeted them in the Na’vi way, trying to pour every ounce of gratitude seeded in your soul to them, for the way they took your dad in, for the way they were offering him eternity in Eywa. I see you.

You took him and moved him slowly away from the crowd from the back of your ilu, and you made your way to the place you knew you would have to give him to the sea forever. His new forever home, where he could finally be free - free of burden, free of guilt, free of the world that took so much from him. Once you reached, you dismounted and saw with slight surprise as Jake did the same. You put your hands on your dad and he put his hands on yours, squeezing them gently.

“I got you, kid.”

You let out a soft sob at the gesture, feeling an outpouring of love for this man who was the only father figure you’ve ever known, the only father you had left, who stepped in at a time you were close to falling apart and helped you heal, and helped you where no one else could. With a small nod and a deep breath in, you submerged and slowly took your dad with you, to the seabed covered in yellow anemone. With one last goodbye and tears that got lost in the water all around you, you let him go, and watched as he was slowly engulfed in them, where he will rest for now, where he will rest for life.

Goodbye, dad. We’ll meet each other again, one day, and then, we’ll be able to finally be a family.

Gideon woke up in a bed, a bed he didn’t recognise initially. It had been so long since he’s been in this room, in this place. The realisation came from all around him, from the sound of songs he’s heard a million times before playing softly in the background, from the smell of a specific type of laundry detergent his nose was incredibly familiar with, from the cracks in the ceiling that Gideon memorised by heart in time.

“Up and at ‘em, sleepy head.”

The pressure of a small body tucked against him finally registered in his mind, and the voice brought clarity to everything, to his whole life and his whole existence. His eyes dropped to the ones already looking at him, playful and curious, and oh, oh so beautiful. The shock shot through his whole body, electrifying every inch of him, every part of his brain, waking him up like from a death sleep and into a weightless consciousness, fully alert to her, and only her.

“Marj?”

“I can’t believe you’re here. I never thought I’d see you again.”

“I don’t understand, Jo. Is this heaven?”

“It is now. Welcome home, my love.”

Once the funeral was over, the Metkayina slowly started making their way back to their village, as did your family.

“Will you be ok, kid?”

“Yes. I just want to see something at the Tree of Souls, if that’s ok.”

You looked fixedly at Lo’ak and Kiri, who nodded slowly, and you knew the plan was in motion.

“Ok, we will go back. We will see you back home. Don’t stay out late, you shouldn’t be swimming anyhow.”

“Will do. I’ll have Kiri and Lo’ak to keep me safe, just in case.”

Jake looked pointedly at Lo’ak. “Keep her safe. Safe. Do you understand?”

“Lima Charlie.”

The Metkayina Spirit Tree was a sight to behold, and even despite the pain and hurt, you were in awe of its majestic beauty. It was unlike anything you have ever seen before, and you were saddened at the thought your dad never got to see it. Your mum never got to see it. You think they would have loved it, revelled in it as much as you were, as much as you knew Neteyam did. You swam down until you reached one of the many leaves glowing brightly around you, and with a last look at Lo’ak, who was waiting for you on the surface, you held Kiri’s hand as you brought your queue forward.

“Remember. Think of him, as hard as you can. Think of where he could be.” Kiri signed to you before always reaching for her queue and, when you nodded, you both connected to the same leaf, almost overlapping each other. Air flooded your lungs, giving you breath as if from an oxygen pack, and as your eyes closed, you felt your soul transported through planes of existence, to the one you’ve been before, to the one Neteyam was. You knew where he’d be, there was no doubt in your mind that you’d find him in your clearing, in the forest, where you both said you’d spend the rest of eternity when eternity came and knocked on your door.

Sure enough, the sounds and smells and sights of the Omatikaya forest came sharply into focus, and your heart boomed in your chest taking it all in, taking home in. You knew where you were, not quite in the clearing yet, but close. Kiri’s hand tightened in yours as she joined you, and you saw her looking around, adjusting to the new environment.

“We’re… back home.”

You smiled and nodded. “This is where Neteyam and I decided our heaven would be when we were 8 years old. This is where we knew we’d always be, arrested in time, just him and I, together forever. We knew, even back then.” You pointed in the direction you needed to go. “It’s just beyond these trees.”

You let go of her hand and went in front of her, leading the way. As you stepped into the meadow, you were blinded by the rays of sun which blessed it and by your own tears at this place that meant so much, that you never thought you’d see again before your death.

You let out a loud gasp when your vision cleared and in it stood Neteyam, eyes closed as he was sprawled on the ground, a look of peaceful meditation on his face. You ran panting until you reached him, kneeling by his body and grabbing his face in both your hands, having to fight the urge to shake him wildly, shake him awake, shake him alive again. You tried to calm your breath and your heartbeat to no avail, no Metkayina trick in the book able to help you this time, not when you were right, not when he was here, not when you were one step closer to getting him back. You faintly heard Kiri crying softly, sounds muffled by your own mind blocking anything out that wasn’t him.

“Neteyam…?” You caressed his face gently, allowing your fingers to wonder all over it, feeling the sharp angle of his jaw, the soft swell of his lips, his eyelashes, the defined curve of his cheekbones. You touched his braids, those wild braids that mesmerised you, their liveliness and swing always putting you in a hypnotic trance, focusing your world on him and only him. You touched his ears, that twitched slightly under your touch and your eyebrows shot up in wonder and the movement, the only movement you’ve seen in him for days.

“Neteyam… please wake up. I’m here, we’re here. We’re here to take you home. Please.”

His eyes fluttered open and with it so did your chest and it felt like your ribcage was split apart in two and the animal that was trapped in it, thrashing and screaming, kicking at the bars, desperate for release, flew away, leaving you a sobbing mess on his chest, gripping onto him like it was the first time you have ever seen him, like he was your heart’s most sought after desire and any hesitation on your part would mean losing him forever. He was, he always has been - your most sought after desire, your reason for existing.

Your voice brought him out of another dream, memories of the past fluttering past his mind’s eye and settling on nights in the forest, swimming in the pond, running his fingers through your hair, kissing you until he ran out of breath, claiming your body until you were both so spent you didn’t know how you’d make it back home in the morning. He heard you sharing your deepest fantasies and secrets while you patiently redid his braids, spilling promises of love forever, of adoration and gratitude, for each moment you got to be in each other’s embrace, for every night you got to make up for the ones you lost; anecdotes about your time apart and how much you missed each other after all. Recalling times and feelings and musing at how despite how everything’s changed around you - you two haven’t, not to each other, not in any way that matters. You were still each other’s homes, just like you have been since the moment you were born.

His mind quieted when his eyes took you in, not the you he expected to see at all, but a blue you, beautifully striped, and kneeling next to him, face buried in his chest. He shifted his gaze somewhere behind you, and another shock rocked his system at the sight of his baby sister, crying silently, hand covering her mouth to stop the sounds threatening to spill out. His arms wrapped tightly around you and his hands caressed your hair gently and he couldn’t believe the relief that washed over him as you scent overwhelmed him, as your presence drowned everything else in this world but you. You found him. He realised then you were there to guide him home. No matter what path he would choose, stay here or go back, one of you would be there to lead the way, to show him the light - to be the light.

“Hi.”

Your eyes shot up to his face, wide and puffy, red and saturated in tears and his thumb settled over your quivering lips, stuck in this moment with you, trapped in the unmatched beauty of your gaze, by all the love and pain clearly on the surface, by everything else hidden in its depths.

“Hi! Hi, hi, hi! Oh my God, hi! I found you. I really found you.”

Your hands made their way around his neck and your face found its place on a part of his body that felt like it was carved for that purpose alone. This way, he was able to focus on the form staring at you two, sitting on the far side of the clearing, away from view. Neteyam heard his sister’s breath get knocked out of her lungs and when she found her voice, a small squeal came out.

“Um, ok…this is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen, that’s for sure.”

“Ouch, Kiri. None taken.”

Neteyam felt you stiffen in his arms, as the voice speaking registered in your ears. You removed your body from him and looked at him with deep fear displayed clearly on your features. Your raised eyebrows dropped a little as he gave you a small smile, tightening his grip on your forearm.

“I think there’s someone you should meet.”

With shallow breaths and widened eyes, you turned around and wrapped your hand around your mate and squeezed as you assimilated the image unfolding in front of your eyes. It was… you. Your mind flashed to the day you first saw your Avatar body, and how weird it felt, seeing yourself like that, almost like an out-of-body experience. The memory shifted to seeing yourself as a weak, meek human after the consciousness transfer, the first time in your life seeing your human body from outside itself, thinking about how few humans, how few beings are able to ever experience this feeling, this insane, supernatural occurrence. Your mind finally settled on the present, at the girl you knew too well, the body you hated for so long, the body you missed as you had to let it go and were disappointed you couldn’t meet her warm smile with anything other than a grimace.

“How…?”

You got up and made your way carefully to her… to you… until you were face to face. She looked so different to what you always thought you looked like when you inhabited this body. She was… more beautiful than you ever thought. What made her… you… beautiful was the spark in your eye as they fixated on something you found interesting - in this particular case, your new blue body -, the way your nose crinkled a little while you smiled, the way two dimples formed in your cheeks that were rosy and full and…alive. Your curiosity got the better of you and almost involuntarily, you raised a hand and poked the human version of yourself staring at you with a finger.

“How are you here?”

She chuckled a little. “Let’s just say I’m your ghost of Christmas Past.”

The human you smiled at your confused guise. She playfully slapped your hand away and bend her head a little to look past you, at Neteyam.

“I can be a bit annoying sometimes, can’t I?”

“Hey!”

There was laughter all around you as both Neteyam and Kiri found human you a tad funnier at the moment than you would have liked.

“And I can be a pain in the ass sometimes, can’t I?”

Neteyam’s body immediately resolved any annoyance building up in you as he got close to you, and the way his proximity made you feel, the way you got to feel it - feel him - again, was almost too much to bear. You couldn’t believe he was here. Couldn’t believe he was awake, and alive, and touching you like he did, in the way he did that drove you crazy, that sent shivers down every inch of your being. You couldn’t believe you got to feel this way again, couldn’t believe you’d have a lifetime to make up for all the mistakes you made, to make up for the time you were forced apart yet again.

“You’re my pain in the ass.” You turned around to face him, eyebrow raised and he groaned lowly.

“I had a choice. And so do you.” A choice. A choice between seeing his siblings grow up and being there to love them and guide them or only glimpses of the future. A choice between growing old with you, getting to love you and evolve together, as you have all your life or clinging to the past. A choice between seeing his parents be grandparents, pass on their knowledge and experience or never seeing them again. A choice between claiming back his home, fighting for his people or cowering in a fantasy for the rest of time. A choice between seeing what his real kids, your real kids would look like, who they would grow up to be, and being there to witness every single day or glimpses of his past desires manifested like a storybook. A choice between life or death. Between the future or the past. As he looked into your amber eyes, soft and glimmering like the night sky, he knew there was only one answer.

He kissed you, with all his might, and felt light pour out of every corner of his being at the contact. You. The real you. The only you. He couldn’t believe how blind he’d been, blinded by his fears and insecurities, blinded by the incertitude of a unknown future, desperate to cling to a version of his world that was comfortable and familiar, a version of a life he’d dreamt when he was just a boy. He loved you so much, every part of you, every side of you, every body you inhabited because it didn’t matter if you were human or Na’vi, as long as he got to brave the world with you next to him.

“Let’s go home, Atan.”

Your cries filled the forest, happy tears sliding over his fingers as he held your face tightly in his hands. You couldn’t help the sobs that escaped you, couldn’t help the way you clung onto him like you would never ever let him go again. You didn’t think you would. You knew your fingers must hurt his arms with how hard you were digging into them, but you couldn’t care, not when the thought of letting go ripped apart your insides like an angry rabid animal.

“Neteyam… Neteyam…”

“Come on. I want to hold you in my arms for real, I want to see your face back home. Let’s go, Atan.”

He continued to caress your cheeks to remove the tears that wouldn’t stop, and when he realised you didn’t want to budge, he eventually pulled you into a hug that you both needed, that you needed more than life itself. You stood like that until your legs hurt, and when you fell slowly to the ground, he followed, not breaking the embrace - not for anything in this world or the next, not for any world. You sat on the ground, legs intertwined, flush against his chest until the forest started to slowly fade away from view.

“It’s time to go.” You heard Kiri’s calm, deep voice suppressed by the sound of your cries and shallow breaths.

You removed your head form his chest and pulled his face down to look at it.

“I’ll see you at home? In the marui? I’ll just come and you’ll be there?”

“I’ll be there. I promise. You will never get rid of me again. Deal?”

A half-sob, half-laugh made its way of your mouth, but you exhaled a sigh of relief as you spoke. “Deal, yawne.”

Neteyam felt anguished as he turned around to face your human astral projection, but as his fingers wrapped tightly around your own striped ones, he knew that the past is nothing compared to all he has to look forward to with you by his side. More and more of the world was slowly fading from view, and Neteyam knew it was time to say goodbye - forever, this time.

“What will happen to you now?”

“I’m not sure. Now I have guided you, I don’t know what my purpose is.”

“I will miss you so much.”

“I will miss you, too. So much, you will never be able to know. But I still have you, I can still see you, in glimpses of the world you live in. And you still have me.” You nodded in the direction of your Avatar body. “A little bluer, a little taller, but definitely an improved version of myself.”

“And one day, hopefully a really, really long time from now, you will see me again. Neteyam, I have always been your light, but you have always been my rock. You have always been what has grounded me, kept me going. And I know real life is not as beautiful, or whimsical, or perfect as this world right here. But it’s real. And in it, I will continue to be your light, and you will continue to be her…my rock. And whatever else comes, we’ll always brave it together. Just like we have all of our lives.”

Neteyam watched as you turned your attention to the other you, the real you.

“I know you are scared. You are so scared it hurts, it keeps you up at night. But don’t be so scared of the world you forget to live in it, you forget to revel in it. That you forget what really matters. There’s always going to be reasons to say no, always going to be reasons to push back, to postpone, and the truth is no moment will ever be perfect, but this world… it takes so much, it takes so fast, and when it does, what would you want to remember of it? What would you want to flash before your eyes before you go? I know what it is, because I am you. So just do it. Let yourself be vulnerable, once in your life. And see what comes of it.”

You both looked at each other, looked at yourselves, so different but yet the same, a mirror to the past and the present, of what you’ve been through and what you managed to accomplish, who you managed to become. You closed the gap and wrapped each other in a hug. A bear hug, a hug you both needed.

“Thank you. For keeping the past in here, for taking it so I can keep going. Thank you for everything, for guiding him home. For bringing him back to me.”

“I’m proud of you. Mum would be proud of you.”

You let go, tears swimming in your eyes, and with a small smile, Neteyam watched you turn around and make your way towards the light, your own light.

Your hand found Neteyam’s and your amber eyes found each other, and you couldn’t believe it still - that he was here, that he was still here, still yours. You had so much to say, so much to talk to him about, so much to apologise for, but you couldn’t, as your thoughts and words were interrupted by a scene unfolding in front of you. You followed two figures, ethereal and beautiful, emanating glow and light all around them, appear in front of human you, of past you. You inhaled loudly when the realisation hit, the stunned realisation that those were your parents. Your mum and dad, holding hands and smiling widely towards you.

“We’re here for you, my child. We can go home. We can finally be a family. I missed you so much, bunny.”

Tears were falling freely down your face, seeing a vision you have dreamt about your whole life, you have wished for in your deepest fantasies, in all your best, most out-of-reach dreams, and you felt at peace, for the first time in a long time, maybe the first time in your life, knowing that Heaven was real, and in it, so was your family.

Come, my darling, homeward bound

When all is lost, then all is found

Taglist (thank you ily x) @changing7 @erenjaegerwifee @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @winchestertitties @puffb4ll @rebeccao03 @ultimatebluff @cottoncandy23 @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @n3t3y4msm4t3 @loquatious-josephi-krakousky @eternallyvenus @fresh-new-yoik-watah @lu-the-ghost-reader @@miawastakens @mm0thie @fanboyluvr @amortencjja @lovekeeho @trixscarlett

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join-the-joywrite · 3 years

Text

You are the music in me (part 1)

(mostly) juke soulmate AUs no. 1

Special thanks & shoutout to @endless-navigator and @i-spit-on-fire for helping me with my first juke soulmates au post, you guys are amazing!!

Suggested by the lovely Endless: AU where soulmates are musically connected, so whenever the one is playing music, the other hears it in their head (Everyone Is Alive AU, Trevor and Bobby are not the same person I know it doesn't make sense shh)

First of all, I love this au and my co-writers

Second of all, let's just pause for a moment to imagine Alex suffering out hours of Justin Bieber's pop music because that was Willie's playlist at one point. Alex retaliated by starting a rock band and that's the real story behind Sunset Curve, shhh

They all go to the same school & the entire grade is very aware of Julie & Carrie's rivalry for top spot in music, dance and drama. So far, Julie has music, Carrie has dance and somehow, Flynn accidentally got into drama due to an admin error in eighth grade and she's been rocking it ever since. But Julie and Carrie are best friends, don't doubt that. It may seem a little suspicious, but they do love each other.

Luke thinks Julie is a hotshot and finds Carrie super arrogant. He tolerates Flynn. He expects his best friends to do the same but Reggie adopted Flynn as his little sister and partner in crime, and Alex regularly sleeps over at Carrie's for spa night and boy gossip. Luke is very betrayed when he discovers this.

Once, Alex was over for a Dirty Candy recital and spent the next day singing the song they were performing and when Dirty Candy performed it, Luke and Reggie were Very Confused -- but half an hour later, Alex was singing Justin Bieber under his breath again.

Anyway back to the juke I initially started this for

Perfect Harmony

Luke doesn't really like Julie but he's the first to admit she's actually really talented. Julie has no idea who Luke is.

When Sunset Curve started up and found their sound, Julie decided that she couldn't wait to meet her soulmate because she was going to strangle them on sight. How was she supposed to get her homework done when all she had every afternoon was rock music???

They once independently went to the same concert and after realizing that the music wasn't bad, they were just hearing double, both got excited that their soulmate liked the music they did.

Julie wrote music with Rose a lot and often, she'd be the one singing. Luke often thought about penning down the unfamiliar lyrics to search it up later but he always forgot, getting lost in the beautiful music his soulmate listened to.

Eventually, Julie grew accustomed to the constant rock and decided to Google the lyrics in her head. After coming up blank everywhere, she concluded that her soulmate was making original music. So she had a talented soulmate. Didn't mean they weren't annoying.

Perfect Harmony

Julie still can't wait to meet her soulmate. Maybe she won't kill them on sight but she sure as hell will beat them with a cushion for the one calculus test she flunked after spending all the study time with loud music in her head.

Luke and Julie write music together

I love Luke but he's dumb and he doesn't even notice that he's writing music with his soulmate. Julie does, but only because her soulmate has a very distinct voice and any music that comes from her soulmate shares that voice and even though it's so very different to her own, there is an undeniable complimentary aspect.

Julie has like 8 duets locked away from her family that she co-wrote with her unaware soulmate.

Perfect Harmony

Sunset Curve has ballads now and then. Bobby, Reggie and Alex know why but they're not gonna tell Luke. They're just gonna share knowing glances and pretend like nothing is different. They have a bet going with how long it'll take Luke to realise.

Luke is falling in love with his soulmate because music is life and his soulmate has GREAT music taste. Unlike Julie, he hasn't yet figured out that the music in his head is original music.

P E R F E C T H A R M O N Y

Endless, Sun & I thought about killing Rose but we threw that out the window pretty quickly. Instead, we decided upon a year-long coma. In which Julie loses music.

Luke is absolutely distraught. He thinks his soulmate died. Reggie, Alex & Bobby don't think so for sure but the longer the silence goes on, the more convinced they get. It affects Luke's music too. Sunset Curve doesn't shut down like Julie did, but they do get softer.

Luke spends more time writing, singing to himself. If by some miracle, his soulmate isn't dead, then he's singing to them. Hopefully.

One day, Sunset Curve performs for Julie. Well, they don't specifically perform for her. They'd have to know her for that. Sunset Curve throws a small gig and "this song goes out to all of you who feel hopeless, like you'll never be able to wake all the passions you used to have up again."

Flynn decides Julie needs to start living again and drags her to the small mini concert because it's small and why not.

Julie goes through the entire evening in a daze, but after Flynn leaves her house later that night, Julie feels a little fuzzy, like something's wrapping her in a big warm hug. And the next day, Julie absolutely obliterates Wake Up.

A week or so after, Rose is concious again.

Now that the serious moments are done, let's get to some funnies.

Luke, distracted and bored: you with the sad eyes

Julie, trying to do her homework: W H Y

Luke, oblivious: don't be discouraged

Julie, squishing her scrap paper: >:(

Flynn finds this amusing and asks what's up. Julie growls, "he's singing Trolls."

"So sing back. Duh."

And then she does. Luke's singing gets less lazy and more energetic. Julie actually really likes Trolls music and she has to admit singing Poppy's lines are fun. Flynn is super tempted to record Julie and call it blackmail stock. Alex, Reggie and Bobby actually act on the temptation.

They do this often. Julie will be doing something mundane and then all of a sudden, there's a duet playing in her head and it's her idiot soulmate covering the song akd hoping she joins in. Thankfully, Julie is mostly alone but she wonders if her soulmate is acting a fool in front of other people just for the sake of hearing her voice. Endearing.

P E R F E C T H A R M O N Y

Julie needs some practice on her dance recitals okay, so randomly, she has the track playing on her headphones and bops her head along. Sometimes she's cleaning the kitchen and dancing with the broom pretending it's her dance partner. No I don't do that haha

It has been WEEKS of this.

Luke has developed brain cells. He now knows his soulmate is helping him write music. So he starts penning down a new song. Both of them know it's a duet. They've even had some joke practices together with no music and things like that. Julie doesn't know the music that goes with it because Luke is careful not to play it. Ever.

And so one night, Julie's down in the studio -- it's dusty and needs a little cleaning -- and pops her earbuds in and she's doin her lil dancy-dance as she listens to her the music for her dance class recital.

Luke: GUYS GUYS GUYS ITS TIME ITS TIME SHE'S PRACTICING GUYS GUYS

Alex: IT'S FINALLY HAPPENINNNGGGGGGG

Reggie and Bobby: so should we leave you two alone for a minute or--

Luke: NO YOU WILL STAY HERE AND YOU WILL PLAY THE NOTES I GAVE YOU LAST WEEK I HOPE YOU NERDS PRACTICED

Bobby: you know we're gonna silently make fun of you the whole time

Luke: I am aware but you guys love me and you'll do this for me now shut up I have to time this perfectly

Julie is hearing double. At first she thinks maybe she never plugged her headphones in or maybe Flynn or Carrie are nearby listening to it too or -- no wait hang on a minute that doesn't sound like the track she's supposed to dance to.

Taking out her earbuds confirms that the music is in her head.

Off topic, speaking of music in her head, Luke definitely thinks I Got The Music is a Bop™

Its soft, its sweet, it's just guitar. There is no way in hell her soulmate is listening to guitar instead of playing it. She knows that much.

So now Julie has forgotten about cleaning the studio up and is pretty much standing in the same spot, just holdin on to the broom that did just two short sweeps

"Step into my world"

"THE BASTARD WROTE A SONG"

"Bittersweet love story bout a girl"

big gasp "THAT BASTARD IS PLAYING OUR DUET"

"Shook me the core"

Julie's brain: singggg,,,,, Julie: I'm afraid, ,,, Julie's brain, in Flynn's voice: S I N G

"Voice like an angel, never heard before"

Julie, before she can back down, "here in front of me"

Luke's eyes get so wide and so happy. Bobby takes a pause to snap a photo. When they finally find Luke's soulmate, they're gonna have so many dorky pics to show

Y'all it is the most beautiful separated duet of all time. I mean, not for the guys, the pauses are really weird but hey, at least Luke seems to be enjoying himself.

Post duet: "Mija are you singing to yourself"

Julie: (screams and throws broom) no?

You know what maybe this needs to be split for a part two...

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the fat ones #julie and the himbos #jatp #julie molina #luke patterson #juke #sunset curve #alex jatp #reggie jatp #carrie wilson #flynn jatp #willie jatp #willie williams #willex #jatp soulmate aus #mara's soulmate aus #soulmate au #au headcanon

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little-igit · 4 years

Text

Crimson Roses

A/N: This is based on a dream I had. No matter how hard we try some things just won't make sense. Feel free to ask questions about me, the dream, or the book. constructive criticism is always welcome as well as tips and ideas!

Here is a little key you might need before you start!

Y/N - Your name

S/N - Little Sisters Name(If you are an only child make one up!)

H/C - Your Hair Color

Summary: You make a last minute decision to let your sister go alone to a summer camp. After a week of no contact from her you decide to go on a rescue missing and bring your sister home.

Warnings Of The Chapter: Anxiety

Three pale figures: One with green hair, one with blonde, and the last with red and white stand in a darkly lit room talking about something in hushed voices. As if they are afraid that the wind will carry their words somewhere they do not want them to be.

“So she's supposed to be coming, right?” Green curls bounce against each other as a head tilts to the side giving the peppermint haired one a questioning glance, accusing him of a lie he has not yet told.

“Of course you damn nerd!” Spikey blond hair is thrown in front of the green-haired figure and yells.

Emerald eyes roll in their sockets, a sigh soon following, more sassy than angry, “Shut up Kacchan…”

“Stop arguing and don’t worry, she's supposed to arrive at some point this evening.” The one that had kept his silence up until now finally speaks his mind. His voice was smooth and quiet, he doesn’t seem to be a very expressive person.

“Are you absolutely sure? There’s no possible way something could keep her from being here? We need her, you know. If something keeps her from coming we can’t waste time we need her…to live. We might not be able to keep ourselves together if she arrives too late. We would be too hung-” His rant of worries and woes is cut short by someone else.

“Just, shut up already!” Kacchan takes a threatening step towards the greenette with furrowed brows which seems to effectively quiet him.

“What did I just say, Bakugou?” The calmer figure scolded.

“Whatever half and half!” ‘Kacchan’, now known as Bakugou, screamed at him.

The figure with green hair spoke in a monotone voice, “Todoroki, are you positive she's coming?”

“Yes Midoriya, I am as certain as ever,” Todoroki states as if it’s set in stone.

It might as well be with all of the thought and effort they put into this.

---

H/C hairs wisp around under the gust of the cool air coming from the air conditioning system of the airport. A girl looks out upon a sea of small heads, all of them hugging and saying their goodbyes to their mothers and families. That is if they happen to be lucky enough to have them all there. The pace of her heartbeat quickens as she starts to realize she would be the only one her age going to this camp. The feeling of her heartbeat trying to beat out of her chest isn't new to her. She's felt like that a lot lately, not to mention having anxiety doesn't help either.

Tears spring to her eyes and she turns around to cling to her mother in one last goodbye. Something about this summer camp seems wrong, the whole thing gives her the creeps. She can't tell if she's being rational, though she's never liked being in an unfamiliar place for more than a night or two, this is meant to last all summer. Not to mention that this is Japan that she would be going to. It's not like she could just drive home.

She feels tears spring into her eyes, but before she starts to cry in front of the entire plane she pulls away. She holds onto the sleeve of her mother's arm, and with a quivering voice she speaks, “I don't want to go anymore!” An unstable breath trails behind the words that leave her lips. It feels like a weight has been lifted from her with just a simple sentence.

Her mother simply looks at her for a moment, and for that short time, she is afraid of what her mom will say. She's always been quick to call out her daughter when she's being irrational or dumb, even when she isn't. Though, this time, it seems as though she understands the girl. “But you were so excited. Did something happen?” She was questioning her. Of course, she was questioning her but her voice was softer than it usually would be, maybe she sensed how uncomfortable her child was.

Y/N shakes her head, “No. I don't know what it is. I just don't think I should go.”

Her mother is confused, but at least she's trying to understand. “I won't make you go,” She said,” but what about S/N? Won't she be on her own?” The woman’s eyes flicker over to a small girl, barely eleven, with long brown hair sitting in one of the chairs, waiting for the flight. She had already said her goodbyes.

She feels heavy guilt again for leaving her sister alone. “She'll be alright…She's a little social butterfly compared to me. She'll make friends, I'm sure of that. She has her phone, she'll be able to call us if she needs to. If she doesn't I'll be sure to kick her butt when she gets back.” She softly smiles at her last statement. She had always been very passive-aggressive towards her little sister but would claim to fight anyone who would dare be even half as mean as she was to the girl. She cared about her a lot.

Her mom smiles too, giving a nod. Something still doesn't sit right with her when she thinks about the fact that she's letting her sister go alone. Especially when she suckered her way out of things because she has a bad feeling. Her sister is strong though, she has faith that she'll be alright.

She lets out an emotionally frustrated puff of air, some of her immediate distress and anxiety leaving her. At least it does for the moment. At least she wouldn't be the only eighteen-year-old on the trip anymore. She would have been the oldest going by far.

She looks at her mom again, letting go of her sleeve now, “I'm gonna go let S/N know I won't be joining her…” It takes a second of bracing herself before she walks over to her sister, seating herself in the chair next to her. “Hey…”

S/N looks up at her, “Hey??” She was puzzled, that is obvious enough. Probably because Y/N is speaking to her instead of waiting with their mom until the absolute last minute as she does at any social event. “Is there something wrong?”

She shakes her head, “No, not really…I'm not gonna be able to come with you though…I'm not feeling too great about all this.”

For some reason, whatever it is, S/N doesn't seem surprised at all. “Oh…Alright. Is there a particular reason?”

She shakes her head again, there wasn't, at least not that she could figure out.

Their conversation was cut short by the echoing ding from the speakers above them, “Flight number N571A now ready for boarding.”

The two give brief comforting smiles to each other as S/N stands, grabbing her carry on bag, and walks away into the never to be a straight line of other passengers. Her worries remain ever-present in her mind, she tries to ignore them for now burry them away, and be happy for her sister. She is happy for her, just worried.

She must be sitting there for a while watching the line because the next thing she knows, her mom is placing a hand on her shoulder, and motioning for her to get up. Calming circles are rubbed into her back as her mom seems to sense her nerves still. She knows her mom must feel nervous as well, she's never liked crowds at all.

The two wait until they are sure S/N had to have gotten on the plane safely. Her mom's voice, calm, but not comforting as it was before rings out to break the comfortable silence between the two, “Ready to go?”

Y/N nods before standing, sticking close to her mom as she starts to guide her away. The children had been told that they wouldn't need more than a carry on bag, everything that they couldn't fit would be provided for them. She didn't need to worry about needing to retrieve a suitcase thanks to that. Her mom would have made her go if losing her luggage was a part of backing out. As they walk she starts to notice how unnaturally dark the airport seems to be. She writes off though, it's probably just her imagination.

She exits the building right behind her mom thanks to the automatic doors, they hadn't had to go through security twice thank god. That was a relief at least. She covers her eyes from the burning bright sun of early morning as the pair make their way to the parking garage in which they had parked. The only reason Y/N was even awake at this time was due to the early hour of the flight. She could sleep till noon and beyond if given the chance.

The garage was close and luckily they had been on the lowest floor. No one was really up this early. Neither she nor her mom says a word as they hop in the car. It's a silence they're used to. Y/N plugs her white earbuds into her phone, opening Spotify. Not wanting to listen to anything specific she chooses to listen to her liked songs playlist. She knew full well she was going to try and fall asleep during the drive anyways so what she listened to didn't matter as long as it wasn't screaming in her ear.

She reflects a little as she tries to fall asleep. Her mom letting her come home like this isn't normal. She thought she would have to put up a fight. Especially since travel isn't cheap, though, Y/N has a close friend whose mom was able to get them deals on their tickets. Maybe that's why she didn't complain about the cost.

She hums deciding that was enough overthinking for now.

---

The week passes by slowly. Much slower what she ever would have imagined. The bad feelings she had stuffed away about the flight grew. They festered inside of her since the very first day.

Two days passed without contact from her sister. She and her mom sat in the living room eating their dinner. Her dad was at work, he worked nights frequently ever since she was little. Thankfully he gets to choose his schedule.

Y/N scrolls through Tiktok on her phone, checking her messages every few minutes. Her mom is watching some dumb movie on the hallmark channel. She's praying she gets a message from S/N soon. It's been two days of silence since she left. That isn't normal, not for S/N.

Maybe she doesn't get service where she's at but there should be wifi. It doesn't make sense for her to just not answer.

Y/N knows her mom is worried by now too, S/N usually messages her first and she hasn't done that either. She hasn't shown any nerves though.

---

By the third day, Y/N has panicked. She called her friend and asked her to get another deal on tickets. She hadn't seemed too surprised. After she had made sure the tickets were taken care of and that she would have a flight-ready she started to pack. She didn't plan to stay for long so she didn't pack much other than necessities. She stuffed it with anything else that she could.

She was going to bring S/N home with her. That's the plan, she should have made her stay back with her in the first place but she would have felt bad if she did.

One week after the original departure she found herself driving back to the airport. She was alone this time, her mom hadn't been able to take another day off of work and her dad was asleep from his late night. Her phone was connected to the stereo of the car instead of her earbuds, which were tucked away into her carry on bag. She let her liked songs playlist play again, she couldn’t pick and choose now as it would be too risky to do while she's driving. She didn't want to wreck the only car she has, not to mention how angry her parents would be with her.

It takes around an hour for her to get to the airport. She parks at the same garage her mom had parked in one of the upper floors this time. Her flight wasn't as early as it was last time so the bottom-most floors were filled. She disconnected her phone from the car before turning the key and taking it out.

The trunk pops open with the click of a button. She drags the suitcase with her items out of the car, throwing her carry on over her shoulder. She reaches up, pulling the trunk shut. There's a moment of her fumbling around with her keys before she locks the car.

It took an unusually long time to pass security, granted everything was taking unusually long this week. It takes her a good while to find the desk to check in her bags, the process itself was a normal time. She walks and wanders, making sure she knows where her boarding area is beforehand. She was looking through a nearby store when the echoing ding from before rings out again, “Flight N295EV ready to board.”

Next Chapter

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visionsofus · 3 years

Text

Wanda and Vision’s Mixtape #11

Track #11: Happy Together by The Turtles

| read on AO3 here | mixtape playlist | send me an ask with your song/prompt request |

synopsis: In which Wanda and Vision try to deliver on a promise to cook breakfast for the rest of the team but end up goofing off together instead. Aka 1500 words of pure domestic fluff

Wanda regretted the late night as soon as light began to creep in through her windows. On second thoughts, she probably regretted not putting the blinds down more. With a huff and not bothering to peel her eyes open, she raised her hand and focused on the blinds, envisioning them sliding down and let her magic do the rest of the work. Regardless, the damage had been done, she was awake at dawn on a glorious Sunday morning that would have been perfect for a lie in.

Of course, the best thing that came with waking up this particular morning was the sleeping figure beside her. They’d fallen asleep facing each other but in the night Wanda’s usual tossing and turning had tangled the bed sheets up between their legs and had even sent one blanket banished to the floor in favour of Vision’s more reliable warmth. Sleep had been challenging for Wanda in her first few months at the compound but over the last two years she had grown used to the silence of the space she now called home. But she never slept quite as well as she did when Vision was beside her.

She blinked blearily at his sleeping form, his face coming into view a little clearer now that she was properly awake. He must have heard her shifting about beneath the covers as his eyes returned her gaze, their clear blue shifting a little as he came to terms with the new dimness of the room, the traitorous sun blocked by her bedroom’s blinds. Their sleeping arrangement had become less and less separate since they started dating two months earlier. But even before that Vision had spent a number of nights at Wanda’s side, often seeing her through nightmares or those restless nights when the shadows of her past grew too long in her mind. It was nice to not need a reason to have him at her side these days, he just was.

Vision smiled at her and shuffled closer to kiss her forehead. Wanda slid her arms around him and tugged herself closer, sighing in contentment. They remained quiet, breathing each other in in the early morning quiet of the compound. Wanda wished they could have a few more weekends like this before getting back to work, it had become their only chance to be near each other recently, what with Steve convinced their newly romantic status would interfere in missions. And well, Wanda didn’t really disagree – Vision was a terrific distraction.

“I’m usually an early riser,” Wanda mumbled into his shoulder, “but you make it hard to leave bed.”

“And I don’t like this much sleep,” Vision said back trailing his fingers up and down her back absentmindedly, “but I always rest well next to you.”

Wanda laughed as Vision sat up suddenly, pressing a couple of kisses to her cheek and trying to pull her up with him. “Come on, darling, up and at ‘em.”

“5 more minutes,” Wanda groaned, turning over and pulling the pillow over her head.

“Nope, you promised we’d cook a big breakfast for everyone before the meeting this morning!”

Wanda sighed but managed to sit up, her hair falling about her face. “Fine, pull me up.”

In the kitchen Wanda waited on one of the stools next to the kitchen island as Vision set about making her a cup of coffee. When it was ready, he set the steaming mug in front of her along with the milk jug. Wanda added enough milk to make the coffee palatable, she still wasn’t quite sold on the bitter taste but had grown too accustomed the morning boost it gave her. She took a long sip and sighed blissfully.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road,” Vision said putting his hands on his hips and surveying the empty workspace before them. Wanda hopped down from the stool and brought her coffee into the kitchen to join him.

“Eggs, bacon, onions, tomatoes—” Wanda continued listing off food as Vision turned to the refrigerator and gathered everything they needed. “Alright, English breakfast for like eight people should be easy enough, right?” She winced as Vision set out the 24 pack of eggs next to the stove and hoped that it would be enough, Steve and Bucky could easily mow through half a dozen each.

Wanda was careful to tie her hair back and pull her sleeves up. Well technically they weren’t really her sleeves, she was wearing Vision’s blue cable knit sweater he’d worn the night before and left in her room. Her arms were swimming in it and she had to roll the sleeves three times over just to have her hands free.

As Vision collected plates and cutlery to set their 12 seated table in the dining room Wanda set about preparing the breakfast, glad that her magic could supplement what would have been an hour-long activity. She was able to stir scrambled eggs with one hand whilst using the other to direct the empty eggshells into the bin or put more bread in the toaster.

When he was finished at the table Vision returned to her side and took up a spot at her elbow to slice onions and halve tomatoes to fry. They were a good team and worked in cohesion, barely having to prompt the other for something before it was already done. At one point Wanda even looked around for the salt only for Vision to already be holding it out to her. It had always been easy with him, and their connection was only growing stronger as time went by.

Wanda had switched the radio on, or the Bluetooth speaker they had on the counter that also connected to FM and AM frequencies, and had scrubbed through until she found a decent sounding radio station for a Sunday morning. After cycling through the Beatlesand an old Grass Rootssong the station came to The Turtles and Wanda couldn’t help but smile, it was impossible to not grin when ‘Happy Together’ was playing. She was sure the song would serve as a pleasant wake up call for the rest of the team as Vision went over to turn it up.

“I like this song,” he said as he did so, swaying back and forth in time with the rhythm.

Wanda smiled as he came back over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, coming to rest at her back standing just tall enough to rest his chin atop her head. They swayed back and forth to the music as Wanda stirred the eggs and waved a hand to magic the mountain of toast they needed to the table.

“Is there anything I can do, darling?” Vision asked and she couldn’t help but grin at the casual affection of the pet name.

“You’re perfect right where you are,” Wanda said tilting her head back to press a kiss to his cheek.

As she finished off the eggs and loaded them into a serving dish along with the fried tomatoes and onions the song started to pick up its happy beat once more, making it hard to not dance along. Vision was the first to cave to its catchy beat letting go of her and snapping his fingers and dancing in time with the music. Wanda dissolved into peals of laughter at his goofy moves but took the hand he offered, and they started to swing each other around the kitchen in an exaggerated version of what might have been a waltz.

“Me and you, and you and me,”

Vision spun Wanda around and dipped her graciously as the song rose to its chorus.

“No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be.”

They were so caught up in each other that they didn’t notice another pair had joined them in the kitchen. Sam had even ventured unnoticed to get himself a cup of coffee before ducking out of their way once more. He leant against the wall, nursing the drink to cure the early morning wakeup call the radio had been as it blasted throughout the compound. Evidently, Wanda and Vision hadn’t realised that all the speakers had been connected from the previous night so when one was turned on, the entire compound got to listen in to The Turtles. Beside him was Bucky Barnes his arms folded, and his brow furrowed in disbelief at the odd pair before him.

“Look at these two, its 8 am for Christ’s sake,” Sam murmured disapprovingly into his coffee. He sure hadn’t appreciated the impromptu alarm, but damn was it good to see Wanda smiling as she was.

Bucky opened his mouth to speak, paused and looked at Sam and then back at Wanda and Vision. “Are they dating?”

Sam nearly spat his coffee out. “I can’t believe you were a spy, you legitimately suck at reading people.”

“Not it’s a serious question, are they?” Bucky asked trailing after Sam who made to escape to the dining room as the radio launched into yet another chorus of me and yous.

By the time the rest of the team made it upstairs to the dining room Wanda was laughing so hard there were tears coming out of her eyes and both had entirely forgotten their pledge to make breakfast.

#wandavision #wanda x vision #Wandavision fanfiction #scarlet vision #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #visionsofusfics #domestic fluff #there's a reason I usually write angst but how could I write something sad to such a happy song?

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officialleotolstoy · 3 years

Text

Oh Dolokhov Brainrot We’re Really In It Now, aka Dolokhov playlist annotations!

A note on the cover photo: I don’t really like this one but I got tired of looking at men on Pinterest so I gave up. The window symbolizes the rum window and the smoking symbolizes uhhhhh habitual bad life choices idk

Drinking game take a shot every time I say “it’s about the vibes”

Wrecking Ball - Mother Mother

“I break it just because I can”

This is THEE ‘I am going to cause problems on purpose’ song and that is like his entire narrative purpose!! Argue with me about this one I dare you

The Good, The Bad, and the Dirty - Panic! At The Disco

“If you wanna start a fight you better throw the first punch, make it a good one”

Partially its just vibes, I won’t lie. But also the consistent spoiling for a fight is very in character

Shoot to Thrill - AC/DC

“I’m like evil, I get under your skin”

It’s got I Am Morally Repulsive But Also I’ll Steal Your Girl energy which really hits all of Dolokhov’s character traits. And of course the added bonus of gun imagery.

Mr. Brightside - The Killers

“It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this”

I added it strictly for vibes, but then I realized the quoted lyric is very much him @ the Kuragins if you take the reading that he refuses to admit he actually like them but grows genuinely fond of them over time even though he initially got to know them with a lot of ulterior motives.

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

“Mama, I just killed a man”

The amount of songs that are on these playlists just for what are essentially your mom jokes since Dolokhov loves his mom so much is a little pathetic. But I’m not wrong! I can’t really put it into words but something about this song has Dolokhov energy.

Feel It Still - Portugal the Man

“Give in to that easy living, goodbye to your hopes and dreams”

A good deal of what I find interesting about Dolokhov is the internal conflict he has of knowing he’s become rather wicked and problematic but also not really trying very hard to change and almost enjoying it so a lot of the songs on here are about that, including this one. The “I’m a rebel just for kicks now” also very much screams Causing Problems On Purpose.

The Bidding - Tally Hall

“I like to take advantage of the bourgeoisie”

His whole role in volume one and two is to take advantage of the bourgeoisie! This song also oozes confidence and a sense of superiority that comes from being better than the sellouts in high society, Dolokhov’s not like other girls uwu (he really is, but I don’t think he would admit that).

Say Amen (Saturday Night) - Panic! At The Disco

“I could be better but baby it’s Saturday night”

Embracing his own wickedness! The idea that he knows he could be better than he is but he doesn’t want to take that opportunity...yeah vibes

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - Fall Out Boy

“I became such a strange shape from trying to fit in”

This is the epitome of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase he goes through when he’s into Sonya. Also “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color” reminds me of Comet Dolokhov’s stupid eyeliner <3

Some Nights - fun.

“So what is this? I sold my soul for this?”

There’s a long stretch of this playlist that just boils down to “Woe is me I need to be purified” crisis hours, because Dolokhov’s oscillation between embracing his own cruelty and trying to be a good person is super interesting to me. This song captures the idea that he’s still having fun and there’s some good there, but he’s also aware that he’s losing himself a bit

Roaring 20s - Panic! At The Disco

“I don’t even know me”

“Woe is me i need to be purified” crisis AGAIN. This song gets more to the annoyance with society as a whole and feeling kind of lost in it

Send Them Off! - Bastille

“Help me exorcise my mind”

“Please purify me 16 year old girl! I’m 27 this isnt creepy at all ahahahha”. I do despise Sonyakhov but this has the vibes of a man feeling his own evil and wanting a woman to fix it. Not a great look.

Easy Days (Demo) - Bastille

“I don’t wanna fall back again, back into the easy days”

Near the end of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase when he’s kind of drifting back to his old ways and he’s like wait no- wait- and then he does anyway because he’s horrible. I also really like the acknowledgment that his horribleness is easy and pleasant for him, and he has to fight against that (and he loses that fight HDJAJJD).

Undisclosed Desires - Muse

“You trick your lovers that you’re wicked and divine”

This is a Dolokhov/Nikolai song I do not take constructive criticism. Undisclosed desires...not being straight...lots to think about! It feels almost like a corruption arc? Nikolai isn’t corrupted nor does their...fling (?) last very long but Nikolai is obviously enamored with Dolokhov despite him being The Worst so I think this fits. I don’t have enough songs for a Nikolai/Dolokhov playlist so I just add those songs to both of their individual playlists

Thnks fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

“Thanks for the memories even though they weren’t so great”

Also mostly a Nikolai/Dolokhov song. This man has never ended a relationship on good terms, huh. Also. Sighs heavily. “He tastes like you only sweeter” never fails to make me laugh when I think about it in the context of Dolokhov post-duel being like oh?? You’re just a stupid WOMAN Hélène your brother and/or Nikolai is hotter than you :/ which is not exactly what I think happened but it makes me laugh to consider. Dolokhov ur bitterrrrr

Dangerous - Royal Deluxe

“I’ll be the last man standing here, I’m not going anywhere”

I feel like this has the vibes of his cruelty, especially in that bit after the Kuragins have died when he and Petya infiltrate the French army.

Another One Bites The Dust - Queen

“There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man”

He will hurt you and kill you so violently :) It’s about the vibes.

White Wedding Pt. 1 - Billy Idol

“It’s a nice day to start again”

In the exact inverse to his “woe is me I need to be purified” phase, he’s like ok yes i will pick up bad habits again and enjoy them because frick you! I read once that this song is about a relapse into drugs, but I’m making it analogous to his relapse into Terrible Person Behavior after Sonya’s rejection. Also the repetition of the phrase little sister does something for my brain idk, after we know he loves his mom and sister it just fits.

Highway to Hell - AC/DC

“I’m on the highway to hell and I’m goin down”

Like White Wedding, it screams acceptance of his problematicness. He knows he’s cruel and evil and he revels in it. This is the phase we see him in most I think.

Back in Black - AC/DC

“It’s been too long, I’m glad to be back”

I think this plays every time he gets reinstated to an army position he lost by being reckless earlier. Just kidding sort of but listen to this song and tell me it doesn’t have Dolokhov vibes. If you do, you’re wrong <3

Poet - Bastille

“I have written you down now, you will live forever”

This is just here cause he ghostwrote Anatole’s love letters and I think it’s funny. It’s MY playlist and I get to choose the barely relevant Bastille songs

St. Jude - Florence + The Machine

“Maybe I’ve always been more comfortable in chaos”

This one’s more scattered lyrics than an overall vibe. “Each side is a loser so who cares who fired the gun” has duel energy also.

Hey Look Ma, I Made It - Panic! At The Disco

Confession: I hate this song. However, it’s about the about the MOM R U PROUD OF ME vibes (she is. Should she be? Probably not).

Rich Kids - Bea Miller

“It’s never enough for the stuck up types”

The not coming from wealth and having to almost scam your way into being part of the aristocratic scene is very Dolokhov. Also in my mind the rich kid he’s roasting is specifically Nikolai.

Money, Money, Money - ABBA

“It’s a rich man’s world”

I’m not SAYING the wealthy man they talk about is Anatole but - [i am shot]. Scheming and clawing your way up to wealth is Dolokhovcore.

This Is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco

I literally have no justification for this other than that i think modern AU Dolokhov would vibe with it. Look at the amount of eyeliner he wears in Comet and tell me he didn’t have an emo band phase. You can’t.

Trouble’s Coming - Royal Blood

This is not about the words at all, it’s more about the vibes. It just sounds Dolokhovish to me, don’t ask me to explain.

Sleep Alone - Two Door Cinema Club

“They’re just ghosts and they can’t hurt him if he can’t see them”

This gives me post-Kuragins’ death vibes, and I can’t pin down exactly why? I think it’s the idea of being very alone and closed off.

Golden Days - Panic! At The Disco

I can’t put a specific lyric to it but it’s the vibes of looking back on your hedonistic youths with nostalgia and rose-colored glasses. Post-Kuragins’ death vibes again.

Go Get Your Gun - The Dear Hunter

“One foot in the grave, the other one’s kickin’ its way right down to hell”

All we see of him after the Kuragins’ death is just him being particularly cruel and reckless, almost careless. This feels like it encapsulates that energy.

The Fallen - Franz Ferdinand

“They say you’re a troubled boy just because you like to destroy”

I’m aware that a good portion of this song is about a Christ figure but I’m going to respectfully ask you to ignore that bit and just focus on all the Sketchy Things the guy does instead. Thank you. He does in fact like to destroy things! Señor Cause Problems On Purpose back at it again at krispy kreme, huh.

#war and peace #fedya dolokhov #my post #w&p playlists #i counted i said the word vibes 13 times #so sorry

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samwrights · 4 years

Text

I Don’t Care - Punk!AU [Kuroo]

Me: *hits a milestone* I should give back to my community by fulfilling requests *posts an Elixir chapter instead*

Hi everyone! Thank you so much for your kind words and patience regarding my abrupt hiatus last week. I’m gonna be on a slow roll for awhile with Grandpa Frenchy’s passing and me resuming my normal-ish life as work goes back to regular hours and school will be resuming in less than two months. But I’m gonna do my best to feed y’all when I can.

Remember that if you’re confused with what’s going on, that’s probably because this is the second installment of Kuroo’s Elixir route and need to read the first part which can be found here. Also, artwork is not mine so if we can find the artist, please let me know so that they can be properly credited!

Lyrics that are bolded are sung by Kuroo, while lyrics that are italicized are sung by you and if they are both, they are harmonized.

WARNINGS: Language, implied nsfw, mentions of nicotine and marijuana.

Word count: ~2.9k

Song used: I Don’t Care if You’re Contagious by Pierce the Veil

A complementary playlist can be found » here

The ball was in your court. That was what Kuroo had said to you last night. What that didn’t entail was the two of you christening every room in your little one bedroom apartment into the early hours in the morning. It shouldn’t have surprised you at all that Kuroo had a quick recovery time; after all he was a cocky little shit and apparently for good reason.

You were going to need to send apology baskets to your neighbors at some point when this was all said and done.

The ball was in your court, he said, and that somehow brought you to the following afternoon with you and Kuroo laying naked in your bed. Both of you were awake, you knew that, yet neither of you wanted to say anything to break the silence. Neither of you needed to—you were both finally home. Nestling yourself further into Kuroo’s blackened chest is what pulled the guitarist from his wandering thoughts, coercing him to look down at your shifting body. “Not comfy anymore?” His voice is thick with sleep still, and probably raw from dehydration.

“Trust me, I am. But we should probably go get ready.”

“Ugh,” the raven haired man groans, “right, we have a show.”

“Yes, honey, we have a show. Time to go make all twelve of our fans happy for thirty minutes.” He laughs heartily at the jab before pulling you on top of him in the most platonic way. Well, as platonic as you could be when you both were completely naked. You take the opportunity to look at him fully. Though his eyes were darkened from the lack of sleep, Tetsurō Kuroo was every bit as pretty as he was the day you’d met him ten years ago—even if his skin was now covered from neck to toe in black and white and bold-colored works of art and you could fit a single digit through the stretch of his earlobes. If anything, it added to his charm in your eyes.

Subconsciously, your fingers travel down his throat, just grazing over the three traditional style roses that cover it, before dancing over the skulls on his chest. As they trace over one of his pierced nipples, he lets out a grumble that’s a mixture of pleased and in warning. “You start playing with me, I’m not gonna stop.” And after last night, you knew that he wasn’t kidding.

“Fine, fine.” You concede, retreating in the form of resting your head on his chest. Silence fills the two of you again, allowing you to recount yesterday’s events that didn’t involve Kuroo impaling you. “You broke up with Nanami.” It wasn’t a question, but he answers it as if it were.

“I did,” there’s suspicion and trepidation in his voice, as if he’s weary of the direction this conversation is going. “What about it?” Searching for reassurance, he winds his arms around your waist, simultaneously goading you into continuing your statement.

“Nothing, I just...” you aren’t even sure what you’re trying to say at this point. “I just feel like a lot has happened in the last twenty four hours and I still need to process everything.”

“I can help if you need me to jog your memory about anything,” Kuroo’s tone is polite—sweet, even—and entirely contradictory with the thrust of his bare hips into yours.

“Tetsu, I’m being serious.” You deadpan, pretending that you didn’t feel that tiny spark in your core from the movement. Last night he may have been able to coerce you with touch, and even more in the long hours into the morning, but you weren’t going to be fooled again. At least not right now.

“I am too.” He adjusts himself slightly again so that he’s cradling you, eerily similar to last night, with you pulled over his lap. Despite the lack of clothing, there’s no humor or deviancy on his face—he’s completely calm and self-assured. “I know this situation isn’t ideal and this definitely isn’t the way I ever pictured us being together,” the sentence doesn’t go over your head—you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t bring some sort of pleasure to you, “but all that matters to me is that you want this as much as I do.”

You knew what this was. Kuroo was giving you the chance to back out—to move forward without him if you so desired.

But what was the point of living life without your best friend? Lacking a cohesive thought, you rested you head on Kuroo’s chest once again, letting the guitarist’s steady heartbeat bring ease to you. Maybe you were going about this all wrong. For the last ten years, it had taken everything in you try to mute the feelings that you had for Kuroo, or attempt to pass them off as a deep respect for your guys’ friendship. But that wasn’t what this was anymore; this was your guys’ relationship. “It’s a learning curve,” you start slowly, “but I’m willing to try and make this work if you are.”

“That’s all I’m asking for, babe.”

The two of you move about your day in a way that’s exploratory for the two of you—like it’s the first time you’ve ever seen each other. In a sense, that was an accurate depiction. Your guitarist makes it a point to make the both of you the first meal of the day, complete with setting the table and even doing the dishes. Showering together for the first time was odd, to say the least. It was an intimate form of learning and exploration that neither of you had ever thought the two of you would be able to bask in. After having lunch and getting ready for the show tonight, to which you learned that Kuroo had brought clothes with him in the event he did end up staying over, the two of you took his car over to Terushima’s house.

“No fucking way,” Terushima balks at the sight of you two briefly sharing a kiss as he holds the passenger door open for you while your other two bandmates are loading up the van. “He finally confessed! Makki!” The drummer calls for his best friend who’s walking out the door with two guitar cases in his hand. Without needing much context, the bassist quirks a brow in yours and Kuroo’s direction.

“You finally told her?” Is all he asks.

“You all fucking knew about this? Man, fuck you guys.” The incredulity in your voice earns a chorus of laughter from your bandmates.

“Dude, I don’t know how you didn’t figure it out sooner. The way he used to talk to you at work wasn’t a dead giveaway?” Makki is laughing, grinning even, despite his usual deadpan attitude. You try to think back to any particular instance, but nothing was as obvious as the rest of Elixir was making it seem. Sure, Kuroo was rather touchy and there was more than one case of his fingers touching your waist from behind while you took orders or made drinks. But there isn’t anything that he said that would necessarily incriminate him—

Oh.

“Now she remembers.” Kuroo jokes. He’d left your side at some point, when you weren’t entirely sure, to help the boys finish loading up. “Told ya, [name], I’m gonna marry you someday.”

“Gross, you guys are so cute, it makes me sick.” A roll of Teru’s bronze eyes are accompanied with the slamming of the back of the shoddy vehicle. Knowing it was going to probably be a minute or two, the drummer flitted off with Makki to do god knows what, probably off to go kill a blunt if you were being honest, in preparation for the evening, leaving you to curiously gaze at the cracks in the concrete driveway with a cigarette between your fingers.

“There’s no way you meant that back then.” Your voice isn’t accusatory or judgmental—merely flabbergasted as your guitarist leaned on his car right next to you.

“I did and I still do,” is his response, pulling his own Marlboro Red between his thin lips, “I’ve been saying it since day one and I never stopped saying it for ten years.” His bulky arm comes to wrap around your shoulders, nearly swallowing you due to the difference in stature. Yet, despite his sweet words, something wasn’t adding up.

“Kuroo, you never said anything to me besides that one time you told a regular that I was your future wife.” He shakes his head slightly, a laugh rumbling audibly in his chest as he rolls up the jersey fabric of his long sleeves. Pressing his knuckles together so you can see them clear as day, he responds with,

“Homesick was for you, because you always said how being together felt like home.” And suddenly, you feel like time was regressing as he begins to point out the subtleties you never noticed previously. “All of the roses are for every time I swore I was going to confess,” you knew for a fact that Kuroo had seven roses littered along his skin: three on his throat, one on each hand, and one on each of his pecs. “the lipstick marks are from ‘Contagious’ because I wrote it for you. I’ve been saying it since day one, [name].”

“Wait, you wrote ‘Contagious’ for me?!” At that admission, you weren’t sure whether or not you should have been pleased or disturbed. There were themes hidden in the song that could be viewed as romantic, but overall the song was quite morose and not to be considered a love song at first glance. Maybe that was the point.

“Oh, baby, you’re so dense it hurts.”

“So how’s everyone doing tonight? We feelin’ good? Feelin’ the love?” You ask into your microphone after the four of you had completed the one fully acoustic song, “A Part of Me”. Who knew that Hanamaki had such a romantic side to him? It was cute, considering the lax man typically didn’t show much emotion except when he was performing. “So, we’re gonna keep the love theme going—“ your eyes dart over to your guitarist who is grinning like an idiot. It seemed that the pieces were finally coming together in the sense that you knew.

You knew that he was dead set on making good on every promise he’d ever made to you and Kuroo was going to make this known to every fan in the rather large audience tonight as he interrupts your spiel. “I wrote this one a few years ago for someone I’d been pining after for years so if you’re in the same boat that I was in, make sure you tell them you love them.” The guitarist chimes in, his goofy, wicked grin only growing wider. “Love you, [name].” The proclamation does not go amiss by you, your bandmates, nor your audience that housed familiar faces that swore up and down they wouldn’t be in attendance tonight. But neither you nor Kuroo noticed the aforementioned stranger—only noticing the sly, subtle grin the two of you exchanged before the guitarist gave a shrill whine of his instrument that started the song.

Even before realizing this song was...written? Dedicated? However you viewed it, this song was for you and before that knowledge had even been made known to you, you’d always found it to be a strange, enticing verbal dance between you and the guitarist. You and Kuroo often teetered back and forth like a seesaw, bouncing between lines as he intended when he wrote it. It only charged the chemical static between the two of you further now that you understood who it was written about.

Bury me in the bedroom where I I can sing you to sleep all night

Considering the nature of the song, Kuroo and you had your eyes locked on each other’s to make sure the two of you were keeping time and tempo with the other. Or at least, that was what you were supposed to be doing. But with the way the guitarist’s hazel eyes were dancing with amusement and comfort like he was aware of some joke you had no idea existed.

I’d rather kill the one responsible for falling stars at night

It amused you, to some degree, just how all over the place this song was. And while you had known that back when it came to fruition, the air was different now. It was wild and fun and laced with underlying feelings that left you feeling alive much like the last twenty four hours had. Though the hesitance that first presented itself yesterday was no longer there—you believed everything Kuroo had said. The years of pining, the futile attempt to move on, even the way he marred his skin as a physical representation of his dedication to you—you believed it all.

Last night she recited every reason she’s fine

In a way, it made you feel a little silly. Silly in the way that you had felt you hadn’t been able to trust your best friend after all these years, like you couldn’t tell him you had been homesick for him. Keeping up a facade for all those years had only served to hurt and distance the two of you for no reason. Now, the two of you were going to heal, going to focus on rebuilding that home as soon as this show was over.

You sing while I drive

Not once did it go amiss, the way Kuroo glanced at you, hazel eyes flickering back between you and towards the barricade in the audience to your right. At first, it seemed nonchalant; like it was an attempt to engage with the crowd as he typically did. But Kuroo was always meticulous and calculating with his actions, and that lead you to glance in the same direction while you sang your respective lines in the second verse.

I would rather spend my life Vacations in bed with you like drunken summer kites

So that’s why he was looking over there. Funny, considering Nanami had explicitly said that she was unable to make it to the show because of some piss poor excuse of her fabricated brother coming back into town. Under normal circumstances, this would have been an awkward situation. But it wasn’t your fault she had been caught in a lie, nor was it your fault that Kuroo had decided to break up with her last night. Well, okay, maybe it was a little. But it wasn’t your fault she felt the need to grace the audience with her present after saying she wasn’t going to show up. It wasn’t your fault she was red in the face as she glanced at the on-stage chemistry between you and her now ex-boyfriend.

To live in life and die

None of that even mattered anymore, and Kuroo made sure to reassure you of that by the silly way he’s grinning slyly as the end of the song nears. For a moment, you look at each of your bandmates to see if they were watching, paying attention to the telepathic messages going on between the four of you.

I don’t care if you’re sick

Hanamaki, though he’s wearing his typical glassed out look, is reciprocating a languid smile—one you were all too familiar with. Makki was the kinda that had your back regardless of the situation, and he made sure his expression reflected it often.

I don’t care if you’re contagious

Looking back at Terushima, you can see the snark and the itch to fight underneath his sweaty, glistening skin. As if he knew what the hidden glances between you and Kuroo meant; as if he knew some shit was about to go down and he was all over it.

I would kiss you even if you were dead

And finally, you glance back at Kuroo as the two of you harmonized the final bridge. Calm and cocky as ever, with red lighting serving to be nearly ominous. Though, it only made the reds of the roses on his skin shine more and serve as a reminder—they were for you. All seven roses from his neck, to his chest peeking from underneath his black tank, from his shoulder to his hand.

So if we’re heading there together you can sing all night

It served as a reminder that no matter what was to come after the show, the two of you would face it together. Even if that meant confronting the entire awkward Nanami situation that you knew was coming. Not that you minded—you were ready to defend Kuroo and yourself from any impending onslaught.

I’m gonna tear out the thread one by one from your skin ‘Til your bones feel embarrassed by all the attention

As Kuroo belted out his favorite stanza, he locked eyes with you, turning his body to face you entirely. Amusement danced in his eyes, not that it ever left, but this one was painted with something more. Painted with love, painted with lust, painted with home. The guitarist took slow, steady steps matching the rhythm of his words and letting the bass and drums overtake the sound as he grabbed his mic off his stand—an action you mirrored with your own microphone in hand until the two of you were face to face with the reverberation of his last played note floating in the air.

Kiss me while I drive

The song ended with a pronounced yell coming from Hanamaki and yourself before Kuroo places his microphone back on his stand; all but rushing over to you and choking your face in his large, tattooed hands and slatting his lips over yours. In front of everyone—in front your band, your fans, in front of Nanami. He’d made his proclamation in front of everyone and nothing had ever felt more right.

[ Besitos « I Don’t Care » Misery Business ]

Need to start from the beginning? You can check out the prologue [ here ]

Haikyuu!! Tag List

@hihiq @tamcitrus @yourlocalmemedumpster @90s-belladonna @basicallyberry

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fanficparker · 4 years

Text

Faking, Falling > Part 11

Harrison Osterfield x Reader (Fake dating! Unrequited love switcheroo!)

Word count: ~2.55 k words

Warning: Swearing... And Fluff?!

Summary: No date, but?

<< PART 10 [ MASTERLIST ] PART 12 >>

10:25 pm...

Lying on the sofa, holding your kindle, you were scrolling through a list of books that you desired to read later than actually reading anything.

10:50 pm...

You failed to concentrate on the words of the book you finally chose to read, your mind dozing off with each word.

11:26 pm...

"Ooga chaka ooga ooga..."

The kindle was kept aside while you sang along with the lyrics of the playlist blasting through your phone as your toes tapped along the edge of the sofa.

11:45 pm...

You were lost in thoughts, the music serving only background ambience.

Did he eat something? Or was he waiting for having dinner together? He must have eaten something. He must be hungry. What if he brings a take away home for us to eat? What if he was expecting you to make something for us to eat? He would have told that on the phone if he was looking forward to such a thing.

Maybe you should tell him to eat in case he didn't eat. Picking up the phone and pausing the music, you discovered that you already had some unread messages from him.

Harrison [10:22 pm]: >> Hey don't wait for me for dinner. >> I don't think I can be there before midnight. >> I will pick something for myself to eat.

Harrison [10:28 pm]: >> Also I will try bringing that rainbow cake. >> Although not sure. >> But still :)

You would have replied him to not take efforts to bring that stupid cake but all you were doing was gently biting your finger that had made the way between your lips in an attempt to stop smiling.

11:56 pm...

You finally texted him to not to worry about the cake but didn't receive any reply. So, you instead started looking about the storm on the internet.

'The routes were set back to original by eleven o'clock.' It said.

12:15 pm...

After living alone for years in London all by yourself, unexpectedly this empty house was beginning to haunt you. You wrapped a soft thin blanket around your figure sitting on the sofa, feet tucked under yourself while your eyes roamed all over the place. Sitting there waiting for Harrison, you tried your best to prevent your mind from wandering around bizarre thoughts.

Ghost don't exist. You reminded yourself. The horror movie you saw and laughed about all through your flight duration was finally coming back to you. You closed your eyes for a millisecond and the terrifying face of the lady ghost was clearly visible. You jerked on your seat and opened your eyes, breathing a sigh of relief seeing no-one or that lady ghost in general. But then you heard footsteps. You clenched the blanket tighter around yourself and again closed your eyes shut, keeping your right hand near your heart. The footsteps were coming closer making you sink further into the sofa. Your heart rate was already shooting up.

Ding Dong.

You literally screamed. Your scream facilitated the actions of the person on the other side of the door. The harsh knocking on your door made you re-open your eyes.

"Y/n are you okay? Y/n answer? Y/n?!"

That was Harrison's voice. And instantly the feeling of calmness rushed through your veins. You threw your head back, sighing at your own stupidity. The door knocked again accompanied with Harrison's panicked voice. You threw the blanket to the floor, slapped your head and ran to open the door. There stood Harrison, his hair a mess from the wind that was still blowing outside. You could smell that it was going to rain very soon.

"What happened? You screamed?" Harrison asked, his head peeping inside.

"Everything's fine." You puffed out air accompanied by a chuckle.

"Is it?"

"Absolutely." You said greeting him home and shutting the door. Instead of walking towards the living space, he walked to the kitchen. He kept the brown cake box inside the fridge.

"You don't have to bring it." You said softly.

"No worries." He replied smiling and took out a water bottle. You turned on your feet making your way to the sofa. You folded up the blanket while he sat on the opposite end. Even without looking at him you could imagine his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat.

"Water?" He said pushing the now half-filled bottle towards you. You blinked accepting it, attempting to push back the thoughts to your grave. You sat across him, taking a sip. He kept his handbag he had kept clothes to wear on the date on the floor and sighed loudly. You closed your eyes tightly. You hated how his breath sounded-- sad and a little bit of guilt rose in your heart. You could have done something. You could have set up the table, made a little snack, literally anything but you didn't. You heard him tapping his shoes on the floor, still taking deep breathes.

"You're asleep?" You asked looking at him. His eyes were closed and his head was supported by the back cushions.

"Wasn't sleeping, just... ah... resting my eyes," he muttered, eyes still closed, "Long day..." He yawned, sinking more into the sofa.

"You want me to make anything? Tea? Coffee?" You offered. He slowly opened his eyes and straightened his posture.

"Coffee. Please." He almost pleaded. You rushed to the kitchen while you heard him move inside the bathroom. While the decoction was getting ready, you heard the sound of the shower running. Maybe it wasn't too late... You glanced at the wall clock — 01:24 am

You rushed into the bedroom, plugged in your laptop and tossed a cosy blanket on the bed, propping the laptop over it. Securing the bedpost with pillows and setting up the air conditioning to a pleasurable temperature you rushed back to the kitchen. The shower was no more audible. You finished making the mochaccino(you decided to add a little chocolatey twist). You plated the rainbow cake pieces on two plates and placed your little sweet dine in a tray. Decorating the mocha mugs with some whipped cream, you made your way to the bedroom. Upon entering the first thing you saw was Harrison rubbing some moisturiser cream on his washed face. His blonde wet hairs almost looking brown in the dim lights of the room were pointy at the ends. He was in his pyjamas. A little smile spread across your lips at the sight. You placed the tray over the nightstand. The soft thud made Harrison turn and look at you, running a hand through his wet hairs.

"You were watching a movie?" He asked wiping his hand on the towel, looking over at the bed.

"No. We will watch a movie." You smiled broader.

"Which movie?" He asked throwing the towel over the chair. Bad habit. For god-sake put it on the air dryer or in the laundry. You wanted to scold him. But he made his way into the covers inhaling the scent of the freshly washed covers and sighing in comfort. You decided against the scolding thing.

"You decide what we watch. My prime account is unlocked." You said lifting the towel yourself while he excitedly scrolled through your laptop. You returned back to the room after putting the towel in the dryer. He was slurping the coffee.

"This tastes heavenly, Y/n!" He said picking up the mug in the air. You suspected it to be him asking for you to cling your mug into his. You lifted the cup and clung it softly.

"Cheers!" He cheered like a little child. You giggled at his ministrations, getting inside the covers, bumping your shoulders and knees across his. You placed the cake pieces on your thigh.

"What are we gonna watch?" You asked taking in a bit, devouring the taste. You moaned at the taste.

"It's good?" He asked but instead of your answer, he took a bite of the piece himself. "It is. Mmh..."

"Mmh..."

You both burst into laughter. Little cake pieces ashamedly flew out of your mouth into the air.

"That sounded---"

"Sexual?" He said interrupting you. You playfully slapped his arm.

"Kiddish." You said sounding unimpressed. He took another sip from the cup.

"I guess... Inception? Should we watch it?"

You coughed at the suggestion, "I am seriously not putting that much pressure on my brain at midnight."

He again started scrolling through the laptop. "WALL-E?"

"I have watched it too many times. Haven't you?"

"Well... I have too." He clicked his tongue keeping his finished mug and plate on the side table and rolling over his belly. "Why don't you choose?" Finishing off your eatables you laid by his side trying to find a suitable movie along with him but ended up closing off the account unable to decide. His eyes suddenly lit up seeing your desktop.

"Gosh. You got Need For Speed. We should play this!" He said looking at the game folder.

"It's almost three?!"

"Please Please. Been a long time. And it's better to play with a competitor." He looked at you with pleading eyes but his body radiated childish excitement.

"Not in the mood." You yawned.

"I will let you win."

"Oh ho ho. You will lose anyway." You said getting offended.

"Prove it then... coward." He said turning his head to the other side but the smirk on his lips was clearly visible.

"What did you call me?" You asked in a low tone, raising a single eyebrow. He slowly turned his head back to look at you. He shrugged his shoulders.

"You know yourself." He bit his lower lip trying to suppress the giggles that were emerging from the pit of his stomach.

"We'll play it on my play station. And we'll be celebrating my big victory." You stood up and shuffled the items in the cupboard producing the gaming console.

***

"So how is it going so far, Ms. Y/n Y/ln?" Harrison sneered looking at your side profile from the game screen for a second. A soft giggle escaped his lips as he saw you focusing on the game as if your life depended on it.

"Don't disturb me, Osterfield. Your ass is soon gonna be kicked," You replied pushing the joystick to the left while your body tilted to the right.

"And... Boom!" He yelled throwing the gaming controller on the cushion as his car crossed the finishing line. You rolled your eyes at his actions keeping your own controller aside.

"What's the score? What's the score?... Harrison five. Y/n? Huh?" He nudged your elbow making your eyes roll.

"Two," You maintained an unimpressed expression, instantly accompanied by a yawn.

"Nah. Sleepiness won't be an excuse for your poor performance." He said looking at you, remembering how you used the same excuse an hour before.

"It's almost six in the morning div. I genuinely want to sleep. The rain started and even stopped!" You actually sounded sleepy and you rubbed your tired eyes.

"Right," He mumbled pressing his lips into a thin line. He was having so much fun. For the first time in years he wasn't feeling out of place or lonely, he definitely never wanted these moments to end. But on the other side, he should be glad that these wonderful moments do end. They should end because that's the only way he hoped he won't get too attached to your presence.

But wasn't he already? The two sides of his brain were at war. Just three days with you and he was falling down the sky. He thought he had already fallen but somehow landed on a thin wire which he was gripping with his life but now that wire was broken and he was falling again. Falling down from that height must be hurtful. But he wanted to touch the ground, feel the grass underneath his feet, but there were more chances of him falling into the quicksand. And surprisingly falling into the quicksand doesn't hurt, unlike the green floor. But later quicksand would engulf him, choke him and take away his life. Yes, his brain was at war and he knew— wars bring destruction.

He followed you into the bedroom where you got into the covers and he took the responsibility to clear the debris of the snacks and then carefully placed the laptop on the table. He removed his t-shit and you snorted at the sight.

"You like to show off your abs, isn't it?" Your comment was definitely snarky. He wetted his lips and looked at you, your eyes were already closed.

"They are already gone." He said getting inside the covers with you.

"What's gone?" You mumbled shifting lightly in the bed.

"My abs. Ate for two months. No gym either. My next TV show shoot starts in May, I'll have to work extremely hard in the gym to get them back." He said closing his eyes too.

"Your family must be proud of you." Your voice was almost a whisper but he heard it and also heard the fact that it sounded sad.

"What do' you mean?" His eyes fluttered open and eyebrows concentrated in the middle. His eyes met yours and he noticed the tears welling. You instantly turned and faced the other side.

"It's just... I am a loser." Your voice sounded cracked within turn made his heart crack.

"Hey, hey. What are you talking about?" He asked even when he knew and shifted closer to you.

"I sometimes think I should... stop with the designing thing. It's not working."

"No. I have already told you that your designs are amazing and---"

"I just edited the designs of the previous designer. It was just a dummy work." You sighed.

"I have seen your notebook, I have seen your creativity." He said pausing for a moment, "First look at me."

"No." Your voice was extremely scratchy. He shook you by your arm lightly but you didn't budge.

"Please Y/n. Look at me," He pleaded. And you did turn to look at his blue eyes with your teary ones, feeling vulnerable under his gaze.

"Hey. Don't cry," His voice was so soft, just like his fingers that wiped off the tears from your face. He then cupped your face in his hands. "It took me at least one thousand auditions to get my first role, and that role wasn't even a speaking one. It takes talent and patience. Be patient, love." He said softly.

"You're so good with this." You said, your tears finally paused.

"Good with what?"

"Talk." You produced a little smile. He giggled at the compliment.

"By the way, I am really sorry." You said. He furrowed his brows at your words. "I was just sleepy and then was crying. I must have annoyed you."

"No. Not at all." He said removing his hands from your face but then he felt your fingers running across his exposed arm, a shiver ran down his spine. You shifted closer to his chest and pressed your face to his body. His hands involuntarily held your back and kept you closer as you cuddled into him. The scent of soap radiating from his body made you feel even calmer. He slowly closed his eyes.

"Thank you for the date, Harrison. I had a great time... with you." You mumbled into his chest while he combed your hairs with his fingers.

Me too... He replied in his mind, knowing he won't get nightmares this time.

@asmilinghopelessromantic // @just-a-littlebit-of-everything // @xximaweirdoxx // @jjasalem // @cordiebirdy // @wizliar // @justasmisunderstoodasloki // @veronicas-littleworld // @acceptance07 // @ghostspf // @screeching-student-unknown // @fanficscuziranout // @miraclesoflove // @trustfundparker // @emcsii04 // @yourmum792 // @skymoonandstardust // @nxdxh* // @httplayer @lizzyosterfield // @tomhaz // @gioandreolli // @girl1sstuff

#harrison osterfield #haz osterfield #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield fanfic #harrison osterfield fanfiction #haz osterfield imagine #haz osterfield fanfic #haz osterfield fanfiction #harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield x you #harrison osterfield x y/n #haz osterfield x reader #haz osterfield x y/n #faking falling

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satanfm · 4 years

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lux and ivy’s playlist @ivcsisms THINKING ABOUT A GIRL.

It’s 2 am and I’m thinking about the girl I have a crush on but she’s taken so I spend your night writing about her instead while wondering how it feels to make out with her.

the less i know the better by tame impala --- “someone said they left together i ran out the door to get her she was holding hands with trevor not the greatest feeling ever said, "pull yourself together you should try your luck with heather" then i heard they slept together oh, the less i know the better the less i know the better oh my love, can't you see yourself by my side no surprise when you're on his shoulder like every night oh my love, can't you see that you're on my mind don't suppose we could convince your lover to change his mind so goodbye she said, "it's not now or never wait ten years, we'll be together" i said, "better late than never just don't make me wait forever" don't make me wait forever.”

i kissed a girl and she kissed me by kid bloom --- “i get excited when you come round won't you try to make it right i know i've been waiting don't start with me baby i don't know don't sympathize lately let it go this time my heart can't take much more don't start with me baby i don't know.”

her heart isn’t beating for me by semi attractive boy --- “she's got the look of love out of her cheeks she doesn't seem the want to give it to me i've got the feeling that i could be setting her free she's got her eyes so wrong she's seeing my friend she doesn't see the love that i think it feel i got the feeling that her heart isn't beating for me.”

lovefool by no vacation --- “guess i was a fool for believing you. yeah the truth hurts more than a lie or two. more than a lie or two. door closes and you're gone. you left me hangin' on this love. for far too long.”

getting it on by the sales --- “what did you forget was something what did you get, what did you get a part of it was always there and i found out on the way, out of your heart.”

a million other things by pronoun --- “is this how it ends is this how it starts when you love somebody while they falling apart love somebody while they falling don't know where it leads don't know if you know when you keep on holding tight instead of letting go keep on holding tight instead of letting go but you gotta come home come back baby, come back first gotta come home first come back baby, even if it hurts cause there's a million other things we can do in the world.”

come on mess me up by cub sport --- “i found comfort, i fell in love with avoiding problems we were riding on smith street we were right on track i left it behind without sinking, they all said i wasn't thinking i found comfort, i fell in love with avoiding problems but i want this, you know i want this so come on, mess me up and you can break me if you'll still take me ruin me, if you'll let me be one of the ones you say you won't forget 'cause i want this, you know i want this.”

let it lie by morning tv --- “i wanna know why, i’m still crying i know its time to let it all lie i wanna be with you, i want for you to be with me but all of our ideals of ourselves they fall from a reality.”

you might be sleeping by jakob ogawa & clairo --- “baby, when you're near it's warm inside sometimes when you stare our hearts entwine and in the morning i'll be here you might be sleeping without a care and in the morning i'll be here you might be dreaming play with your hair.”

rivers bend by the doorbells --- “cut me open sew my wounds shut i wanna be yours truly meet me at the rivers bend i wanna feel what you feel i wanna lose when you lose i wanna cry with you i wanna smile when you smile.”

fool by frankie cosmos --- “your name is a triangle your heart is a square i'd love to see you way over there once i was happy you found it intriguing then you got to me left me bleeding you make me feel like a fool waiting for you you make me feel like a fool waiting for you.”

not my baby by alvvays --- “now that you're not my baby i'll go do whatever i want no need to turn around to see what's behind me i don't care and it's true, i've been checking out lately i go do whatever i want no need to turn around to see what's behind me i don't care because i'm really not there i'm really not there.”

dreaming by mac demarco --- “someday i'll find her and i'm still reminded maybe she's the best in dreams she's still the best i've seen dreamin' dreamin' dreamin' baby, i'm dreamin' out on her windowsill baby remember maybe i'm out of luck maybe it's running still dreamin' dreamin' dreamin' baby, i'm dreamin'.”

velvet sheets by goth babe --- “i've got my feelings on they've got a mind of their own can i call you now please won't you pick up the phone i need a face to touch mine is getting old where is my home im really feeling old, old, old some day soon i'll run with you.”

i’m never going to understand by elvis depressedly --- “trembling for forgiveness tiny calloused hands i'm never going to understand i will love you bunny as long as i can i'm never going to understand now me and your sickness forever hand in hand i'm never going to understand i can't love you bunny try as hard as i can i'm never going to understand.”

best friend by rex orange county --- “i should've stayed at home 'cause right now i see all these people that love me but i still feel alone can't help but check my phone i could've made you mine but no, it wasn't meant to be and see, i wasn't made for you and you weren't made for me though it seemed so easy.”

warned you by good morning --- “she looked to me, it's no surprise well i well i i could die but i warned you.”

lose it by swmrs --- “when we drove up the coast we had a soundtrack we made it feel like a film on a reel and our story didn't have a happy ending but it still sounded good despite the way i feel the last thing i want is another broken heart to drive me to the brink of crazy in the end i couldn't take it cuz i knew we wouldn't make it so come on, come on and tell me why'd you have to have such a damn good taste in music? ya if all my favorite songs make me think of you i'm gonna lose it.”

little uneasy by fazerdaze --- “we are young, so we untie we are young, we get tired walking on rooftops, feel so heavy i could never leave you if you let me try go on and let me try steady now, but falling slack stepping out, but falling back under-passing all your dreaming i'll admit feeling a little uneasy about you want to cut me out just one more take i'm still feeling my way.”

love song by bad luck --- “i spent 5 years nailing myself to a cross, that i destroyed overnight, through what we'll call "a talk", in a parking lot, in a town that would, later on become, where i lay my head with you. i'd say we all rise up from the dead here again and again. ooh, wouldn't you, say you do too, say you do too, say, "i'm like you", oh i like you, and in some time more, we'll be home somewhere else, with our dog and our children, but i'm in no rush, we have all our lives, we can just get high, and watch time pass by, then again there's nothing we can't do. and i think i'd be fine living life wanting to die with you.”

i wanna be your girlfriend by girl in red --- “i don't wanna be your friend i wanna kiss your lips i wanna kiss you until i lose my breath i don't wanna be your friend i wanna kiss your lips i wanna kiss you until i lose my breath oh hannah tell me something nice like flowers and blue skies oh hannah i will follow you home although my lips are blue and i'm cold.”

one last time by summer salt --- “baby girl when was it that you had decided you'd call it off and on you were just having fun with loving one last time still i'd catch you when the days through at my side passing by wishin' someday you'd make up your mind alone, alone again on valentine.”

why do i wait (when i know you have a lover) by the zolas --- “i can lose a day in a gothic maze. why do i wait when i know you've got a lover? barcelona crush half-capped in the sun. why do i wait when i know you've got a lover? the hands flail up in the clouds. i am their king with the chemical crown. why do i wait, do i pace a figure-eight ain't it easy to decide to go?”

talia by king princess --- “hey, my love i buried you a month or two ago i keep thinking that you're standing on my floor that you're waiting there for me hey, my love you've walked out a hundred times out of us supposed to know this time that you wouldn't call that you wouldn't come home but four drinks i'm wasted i can see you dancing, i can lay down next to you at the foot of my bed if i drink enough i can taste your lipstick, i can lay down next to you but it's all in my head if i drink enough i swear that i will wake up next to you.”

malibu by lucys --- “baby you see my love is ever changing like the candle light that keeps melting but that don't mean i'm over you like this rose i hold for you oh sweet girl you've made me blue time and time again i feel out of tune you wind me up and spin me round tear me up and tell me how baby i just want to make you mine and i die for a bit of your time oh love you’ve got me enticed … enticed.”

i want you by alex lahey --- “you're the kind of person who likes going to the movies alone you only drink cider and you're aching to move out of home i don't know much more about you but it seems to me that you're my kind i get so excited when i hear that you are coming 'round it used to surprise me when you'd say that you weren't homeward-bound i don't know much more about you but it seems to me that you do things that people only do when they think that they like me too i want you even when you're out of town even when we're up and down i want you even when i'm all alone even when we're on the phone i want you even though you'll never know from the day you said hello i want you.”

by your side by flatsound --- “see myself in a screen wasting days, counting weeks getting more familiar with how you speak while you're away from me but i don't want to say goodbye because it's safer when i'm by your side it's safer when i'm by your side i want to be near you like i'm meant to.”

yellow by pity party (girls club) --- “love is sick, but we could try. i really like, i really like the things you do to me. the things you do to me. love is sick, i really mean. i want you close, right next to me. love is dumb, but we could try. i really like, i really like the way you stare at me. the way you stare at me. love is yellow, i really mean. i want you close, to die with me.”

mixed up and confused by gromz --- “we used to be, part-time lovers, our hands underneath the covers. now you've got me all, mixed up and confused. i don't know what to do, you got me all yeah you got me all i'm just searching for a way out but instead i'm just going back to you and it hurts me to think that you've got it going on with other guys.”

a shitty love song by jye --- “roses are red, violets are blue and i think i'm in love with you making me blush every time that i'm with you roses are red, violets are blue and i think i'm in love with you making me blush every time that i'm with you something about you that make's me wanna light up inside it's to do with you eyes nothing you say or do is ever gonna change my mind cause i'm in love.”

i think you’re alright by jay som --- “when i wake up in the morning i'll make you some coffee we'll lay about and let the day pass i'll wipe your blood off the concrete take you to the party we'll drink until our brains black out and god, you're so pretty your smile's unforgiving i'll place it where nobody can find i'll play all your favorite songs and shake when the lights go off i'll hide us in the warm night oh, i think you're alright.”

hourglass by catfish & the bottlemen --- “you know when you're gone i struggle at night dreams of you fucking me all the time and i know your tied up and i know your phone's fucked i'm craving your calls like a soldier's wife i wanna bring you home myself bring you home myself come back, move in, mess my place chest infect me, waste my days 'cause i know you love to drive me up the wall i know you love to drive me up the wall.”

girls by girl in red --- “i've been hiding for so long these feelings, they're not gone could i tell anyone? afraid of what they'll say so i push them away i'm acting so strange they're so pretty it hurts i'm not talking 'bout boys i'm talking 'bout girls.”

mice by billie marten --- “i don't understand why most of the time i'm living my life all wrong i felt nothing at all the freedom of the fall my smile is on the backseat, the back wall watch me as i go and separate the ones that i am made to love and hate.”

the way you used to love me by diamond cafe --- “searching for your touch i've been feeling lonely i know that it's my fault honey i'm sorry nothing can compare to the way you used to love me to the way you used to love me i've been dreaming for somebody to hold me not just anybody it's you that i'm holding nothing can compare to the way you used to love me.”

soft by babygirl --- “i feel soft around you i feel soft around you comfortable and warm and far from any harm i’m lost without you a broken clock without you and when i pull away i’m begging you to stay oh you would swear i lost my mind, the things i do i know i’m hard to love sometimes but i’m soft around you i’d be a mess without you fucked up depressed without you life would be worthwhile and sometimes i’d still smile but just less without you i’m so obsessed about you i know i’m touch and go i’m yes and then i’m no no no no.”

i’ll be around by floor cry --- “just like a sad song on a rainy day just like a heartache that won't go away all i've ever known is feeling alone just like a treasure that i cannot reach i bring a cake but i can't have a piece now something has changed my life rearranged sleepless nights i don't get no time off still i can't get enough you fit my heart like a glove sleepy days my head's no longer hurting i'm not sure if it's working i think about you too much.”

yellow velvet by wydes --- “tired friend, wash out my eyes burn into my head that if the moon is never gonna make things better instead i'll ride away come back to yellow velvet days when all the cops would run away only diamonds for my baby girl only diamonds when i will afford them i've been in love before when i let you run away.”

valentine by suki waterhouse --- “guess it all goes somewhere unknown turn around and leave it all behind once again, i've drawn a line there must be a place where lost love overflows tell the truth that in my mind we were always on borrowed time is it just that it always goes to a place where love lost overflows? seems to me it's over i'll get used to it eventually over and over again, brutally it's just the way it's meant to be now your love's no good for me beneath my smile my thoughts run wild though i try my best, i can't forget my past so once again i send it on to the place where love lost overflows.”

make me your queen by declan mckenna --- “i know that i mean nothing to you, babe i've tried my best to keep these thoughts away oh, i've tried to speak but there's nothing left to say 'cause i mean nothing to you, babe i know that i mean nothing to you, dear if ever i stop by, you're never here and i don't mean shit, i know you've made that clear 'cause i mean nothing to you, dear so make me your queen.”

#∘ ⋰ ╏ ♡ ﹕𝒇𝒕 . ╰ 𝙞𝙫𝙮 . ◞#again #my brain? d e a d #y'all really expect anything less from me #also there's a few typos in the pictures but i'm too lazy too fix them #listen lux is a disaster n that's all you need to know

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levi-inthesun · 5 years

Text

Awakening- Chapter 1

Summary: June (Juniper) works at the New York Public Library where she reads to kids once a week, otherwise she’s shelving books, checking out books for patrons, and catching the eye of one Steve Rogers.

Authors note: this started out as a different story, but I didn’t like where it was going so I re-worked it and it became this! I wrote this probably a year ago- so I’m dusting it off, editing and finally posting so all of tumblr can read :)

You were already running late to your shift at the New York Public Library. Cursing to yourself quietly when the subway left without you. You had had a feeling you should have left earlier that day, but having anxiety about missing things like the train were rather normal.

You mumbled under your breath, annoyed. Accepting your fate, you took in a few deep breaths and shot a text message to your boss letting them know you’d be late. Your anxiety threatening to take over so you practiced a few tools you have learned in your years of therapy.

One, is this in my control? No.

Two, is there anything in my power I can do to change this? Besides texting my boss no, it will be quicker to catch the next train than to take a taxi.

Three, what are my choices? I can freak out and probably start sobbing in this very public place, or I can accept that what has happened has happened and do my best to let go.

For the remainder of the time you were in the station, you focused on your breathing and scrolled through social media to distract you. Every so often feeling the smooth beads on the long necklace you wore every day.

Finally, the train arrived and you weren’t as late to work as you thought. You put your bag in your locker and stood in front of the mirror for a moment, adjusting your appearance. You had rushed out the door and your cat head-printed button-down was only partially tucked into your denim skirt. You tucked the necklace under your shirt and fixed your collar. Then you tucked flyaways into your braided crown until you were pleased. Scooting up your glasses from where they had fallen down to, you looked around the corner to the wall clock and checked the time.

“Damn!” you swore to yourself, it was 10:30 and you only had fifteen minutes until you were to read to a group of kids. You walked out to the floor and began shelving books. This month you were reading The Little Prince, one of your personal favorites, memorialized forever on your body as a small tattoo on your upper arm You also had a collection of wildflowers, branches, trees, and ferns on your arms, a small eye on the back of your neck.

You gracefully put books back in their proper place, taking your time to gently feel the spine of each and look over the title. You loved shelving books even though most of your coworkers hated it. You felt closer to the books in the short intimate time you spent putting them away.

You began the reading like you always did, giving a quick summary of the book in a way that would get the kids into it to help quiet the chatter, and review what was read last week. As you read, they listened quietly, drawn in to the little boy in the middle of a vast desert.

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” You read the line slowly and gently touched the spot on your arm where the words were permanently at home.

Turning the next page, you glanced at the children around you and the array of parents and passerbyers stopping to listen, intrigued with the words the Little Prince had just spoken. You caught the eyes of a tall, handsome man with the softest light blue eyes you’d ever seen.

As you continued reading, you felt as if you were reading to the man with the blue eyes, your voice naturally flowing directly to him.

The first chapter ended and you thanked everyone for coming, who then, in unison, thanked you for reading to them (including the man in the back). You encouraged everyone to come next week to find out more of the adventures the Little Prince had gone on and who he meets.

Kids went to their parents or chatted with friends they had made there while you stood up, smoothing down your skirt and taking the book behind the front desk where the read-aloud books were kept.

You saw the man glance your way again from the corner of your eye, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared at his phone, seemingly frustrated.

You walked over to the man, getting his attention. “Excuse me, can I help you find anything?” you asked him with a polite smile.

“Uh yes!” he said quickly, “I’m looking for A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I don’t come to libraries enough to fully understand how to find everything,” he said sheepishly.

“That’s okay,” you said cheerfully, “there is always time to learn.” The man smiled widely at your comment.

As you walked over to the correct section, you glanced over at the man and instantly realized why he looked familiar. Instead of fangirling, which part of you desperately wanted to do, you took in a deep breath and remained professional. You were used to celebrities and other well known people coming in.

You handed him the book and asked if there was anything else you could help him find.

“Actually yes… that book you were reading? Unfortunately, I won’t make it next week, but I am completely intrigued, even if it’s just a children's book.”

You looked at him, feigning shock. “Only a children’s book? Sir!” you said placing a hand dramatically over your chest, “This book is not just a children’s book! I didn’t read it until after I got through college and it changed my damn life. So I will now ask you to take that back!” You exclaimed, tone playful.

“I take it back!” he responded laughing, hands up in truce. “I know we just met, but I was hoping maybe you can tell me more about it… over coffee?” he was smiling widely as he asked and you felt a spark ignited within you that had been gone far too long.

Instead of answering, you led him to the check out station, smiling at the ground trying to hide your blush. While you were checking his books out, he looked away nervously, so he didn’t notice you scribble something on the receipt, then stick in just inside the cover for The Little Prince.

You spent the rest of your shift very, very distracted at the thought of going out for coffee with Steve Rogers.

When Steve got home later that evening, he was still thinking about you. How cute you looked in your button up that he could have sworn had little cat heads all over it and your denim skirt. How into reading the book you were, your trance only broken when you spotted him, even still you quickly got back into it. Steve felt like he may be going crazy, but it felt as if you were just reading to him. Your melodic voice carried over the group of kids and straight into his heart. Remembering the books he had stowed in his bag, he pulled them out setting A Tree Grows in Brooklyn down on the counter and picking up The Little Prince. He opened it up to see your messy cursive on the receipt with a phone number.

Call me when you finish :) - June

Then, for the first time in this century (probably), Steve Rogers did a happy dance as his heart was ignited with hope. After he regained control of himself, he immediately dove into the book reading until early morning when he reluctantly put it down to get at least a few hours of sleep, where he dreamt of a boy and his rose, a pilot and a fox.

Steve woke to the sound of a very unwelcome alarm, he shut it off and slowly sat up, looking out the large windows of his room in the Avengers Compound, watching as the sun rose in the sky, spilling hues of orange, pink and purple over the sky. He got dressed and left for his daily run, making it back in record time just so he could read the rest of the book.

You were shocked when you got a phone call later that day, the voice saying they finished the book and was wondering when you would be free to meet up for coffee.

Before you could stop yourself, you blurted out, “I’m free now.”

The voice answered much too quickly, making you feel a little less embarrassed. “Yes! Do you have a favorite spot to get coffee?” “Believe it or not, it’s right by the library. Meet me there in an hour and a half?” “Can’t wait, doll.”

As soon as you hung up, you looked down at your outfit of choice on this lazy day off. Sweatpants and a shirt with actual, non-ironic holes throughout. You booked it to your closet and allowed yourself 10 minutes to stress out about what the hell you were going to wear to your date with Steve freaking Rogers, finally settling on a pair of your favorite high waisted jeans and a loose tank top tucked in with a pair of sandals. You added a pair of stud earrings and put your hair into a low bun, that way if he was dressed up, you wouldn’t be too casual, and vice versa.

You had time to spare, but figured it wouldn’t hurt to be early. You popped your earbuds in and started listening to your Beatles playlist, making your way to the Subway Station. The ride went smoothly and thankfully no one bothered you. Once you got to the library, you sat on the steps by one of the lion statues and basked in the early fall sunshine, only closing your eyes for a second, soaking it all in when you felt a tap on your shoulder. Readying yourself to politely tell some rando to leave you alone, you were surprised to see Steve, 10 minutes early. “Hi!” you yelled, cringing when you realized your volume. You quickly turned off your music and stuffed your phone and headphones into your bag.

“You know, you are gonna lose your hearing if you listen to music that loud,” he said chuckling. You rolled your eyes playfully. “By the way, Ob-la-di is a good choice.” he smiled, and you thought that that is something you could easily get used to.

Then his face altered, annoyed as he looked past you. It looked like he was trying to make someone go away with a nod of his head. You looked up at him confused.

“Ah, sorry. My friends,” he said pointing to the group of extremely familiar-looking men and women, “they didn’t believe me when I said I was going on a date.” He shrugged.

You giggled and gave the group a flirty finger wave. They waved back before running off. “Well, shall we go ingest liquid gold sustenance?” you asked.

“Yes, lead the way,” he replied as he held out his arm for you. You tried to hold in the smile and blush that suddenly appeared on your face, but there was no fighting it.

Just a few blocks away, Steve opened the door to the cafe and followed you inside.

“Hi Maria,” you said fondly as you approached the counter.

“Juni!” she called back happily as she took her position behind the register, “I thought you had the day off today?” she asked as she already started putting your order in.

“I do,” you said with an almost dreamy sigh, “I’m here for fun,” you said, motioning to the tall man with you. “Oh, yes you are.” She stated, winking at you, “And what can I get for you?”

You tried not to giggle when he ordered an americano.

You found some seats in the corner, grateful that the cafe was normally pretty empty around 4. Once settled, Steve pulled out the copy of The Little Prince he had borrowed from the library, as well as a notebook filled with notes. You smiled and pulled out your well worn, well-loved, very marked personal copy. Maria brought your coffees over and winked again, mouthing ‘hot damn!’ to you before Steve could notice.

Another round of pink heat spread over your cheeks.

“So, I just realized we never actually introduced ourselves.” You said, knowing full well you both knew you knew his name.

“How rude of me,” he said with a playful tone, “I’m Steve.” “Good to meet you, Steve,” you say as you both shake hands once and let go, “Most people call me June, but my name is Juniper.”

“Juniper… that’s really cool. Would you mind if that is what I call you?” he asked, eyebrows raised in questioning.

You smiled, “Most people think it’s too weird or hippy-ish, which isn’t too far off. So yes, I would love that actually.”

“What do you mean it isn’t too far off? And why is there anything wrong with being too hippy-ish?” he asked, confused.

“Well, I grew up on the west coast. My parents were very much minimalists. We had a garden full of fruits, veggies, and herbs. We spent so much time out there together. I actually loved gardening and had a booth at our local farmers market and preferred spending time with my parents and my dog, and a lot of my friends stopped inviting me out, deeming I was ‘odd’ and a ‘straight-up hippy’,” you rolled your eyes and chuckled at how silly the whole thing was. “Anyways, there is nothing wrong with being too much of a hippy,” you said smiling, “I learned how to embrace it,” you shrugged.

Steve smiled at you and took a sip of his drink before responding, “Sounds like you didn’t have very good friends,” he commented sadly.

“Learned that one much too late,” you say as you take a drink yourself. “What about your parents, friends growing up?”

“Well, my best friend growing up was James- we all called him Bucky, except his mom when she was angry with him for doing something stupid-” he paused for a second before adding, “it was usually my ideas that got us into trouble.” He shook his head as a memory replied in his mind. “But my mom was my entire world. When she died, it felt like a piece of me died with her…”

“I’m so sorry,” you replied. Steve searched your face, but only found a genuine warmth and caring.

“Thanks, uh, yeah so then Bucky’s mom basically adopted me and we got into even more trouble… we definitely gave her a run for her money.”

You chuckled at the idea of him running around causing trouble.

After you both took another drink, you dove right into the book, pointing out favorite parts, what was personally identified with, as well as some questions Steve had had. One of your favorite parts was hearing about his relationships. “So the fox… honestly, it sounds very much like Bucky. I already mentioned how close we were, but eventually, our paths took us separate ways before reuniting, and... well he was extremely different. He had gone through some really terrible things, things I cannot even begin to imagine, when we were finally together again, it took a lot of work on both of our parts… like he was reluctant to be tamed, he didn’t want to get hurt again. It took a while, but now we are even stronger than we were before. It’s like we are tamed to each other, haha.” Steve realized he was getting more personal than he had anticipated and felt a little awkward.

“That is beautiful,” you said quietly, causing a little smile to appear on Steve’s lips.

His favorite part was just watching your eyes light up anytime one of the things he brought up was something you loved about the book as well. You were so passionate about this one children’s book and it was like it opened up a whole new place in his heart.

Hours later, your coffees were cold and barely touched, but there you sat, his hand gently resting on yours from across the table. The conversation had led to other favorite books, which you both had given each other quite the list to look into. Then you both talked about the things that made you happy.

You adored the days it rained. You felt like it was washing the city and yourself clean and the way people’s faces light up when they talk about something they’re passionate about. Steve loved the peace that watching the sunset over the city brought him, everything quiet and still. He also loved watching people as they read or watch movies, “You can see anything you need to know about a person,” he had said.

Eventually, Maria came up to let you know they were closing. You blushed slightly and apologized to your friend, who hushed your fears.

“Do you own any of the books on your list?” Steve asked, hurriedly as you walked down the street, “I would be honored to be able to read your personal copy of even just one, get a look inside your head a little more,” Steve said, a light blush threatening to take over.

You smiled widely, “In fact, I own all of the books on my list. I live in Brooklyn though, so if it is out of the way I can always bring a few next time I see you?”

There were two things about your statement that excited Steve beyond belief. 1. You lived in Brooklyn. 2. You wanted to see him again.

“I happen to love Brooklyn, it’s no problem at all unless you would be more comfortable oth-” You cut him off. “Honestly, I would love for you to come over and be impressed at my massive book collection.”

It was settled and Steve held out his arm for you again as you both chatted aimlessly as you walked to the subway station. It was late on a Saturday, so the train was noisy with talking from people going to or from parties and clubs. You pulled out your earbuds and handed him one as you plug them into your phone, putting the other in your own ear. You clicked on another one of your favorite playlists, hitting shuffle. The first song was a favorite by Noah and the Whale, The First Days of Spring. As the 45-minute train ride continued, you could feel your hand take a life of its own as it inched closer to Steve’s, which rested on the seat next to yours. The anticipation of holding his hand was practically killing you, so when Steve closed the distance you felt relief, as well as a pleasant tingle, wash over you.

Once you worked up the confidence, you rested your head on his shoulder… more like arm with his height compared to yours, but it was nice all the same, and Steve melted towards you.

Once your stop came you stood up and pulled Steve along until you were walking side by side. Music was stopped and put away, you both walked in a comfortable silence to your apartment building hand in hand.

You watched as Steve looked around with an almost sadness as you walked the streets of Brooklyn. Of course, you knew of his history, everyone did, but you would wait until he was ready to bring it up. Just because you knew what books told you about what happened didn’t mean it was the whole story, or that you had a right to know.

Suddenly Steve stopped in front of a building that was crumbling to the ground.

Steve couldn’t believe it was still here. The last time he had the opportunity to be in Brooklyn inconspicuously he hadn’t been able to find it. Yet, now, on his way to the apartment of one of the most beautiful, witty, honest and intelligent women he’d met since Peggy, was his childhood home. Where he spent his entire life sick, trying to stand up for himself but always being saved by Bucky. And suddenly, he was that tiny person again and felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude as well as the feeling of being undeserving to have you holding his hand. A tear slipped through and he prayed you wouldn’t notice. Instead, he felt your kindness through a simple hand squeeze. He took a few deep breaths and decided it was time to keep moving.

You continued leading him to your apartment and unlocked it. Before you opened the door you smiled at him mischievously.

“Now, I have spent a long time working on my book collection. If for some reason it isn’t impressive, you have to pretend it is otherwise whatever this,” you motioned between the two you, “could have been, isn’t happening.” Steve nodded in agreement, “You got it doll.”

You blushed slightly, biting your lip as you turned around and opened the door, letting him in.

What Steve then saw was incredible. You had hundreds of what seemed to be carefully selected books, shelved neatly throughout your entire, albeit small, apartment. You watched as Steve walked around, mouth hanging wide open, staring at the shelves on shelves and shelves of books. He then turned to you, mouth still open, and held out his arms motioning to it all with wide eyes.

“Okay, okay, you didn’t have to try so hard to make me feel like you were impressed, it’s okay. Appreciated though.” You smiled genuinely, even though you were trying to tease.

“Oh, well okay then.” Steve playfully rolled his eyes before grinning at you.

You both stood there looking at each other for what felt like a few beats too long, so you blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “I like ice cream. Do you want some?” Before waiting for him to respond you walked over to the freezer to pull out the tubs of ice cream you had and two spoons. “Uh yeah, I could go for some ice cream.” Steve walked over, noticing there weren’t any bowls.

Seeing his confusion, you explained, “It is more fun to eat it out of the container unless you’re afraid of germs or whatever,” you shrugged, hoping he didn’t think it was weird.

“Sounds good to me.” He replied, grabbing a spoon and the pint of mint chocolate chip. You grabbed the other, moose tracks and headed for the couch.

You sat together on the couch eating ice cream and reading. Steve, the second one on your list of favorites (since The Little Prince was number one), and you one of his that you happened to have.

Periodically, Steve would look up from the book and watch as you were sucked in by the words. He could see every little reaction you had, every vulnerable moment when what the book was saying rang true for you.

He sighed as he turned back to the book in his hands- This is something he certainly could get used to.

#Steve Rogers x OC #Steve Rogers Fanfiction #Steve Rogers #Steve Rogers Fanfic #Avengers Fanfiction #Awakening #Fluff

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onewfantaesy · 7 years

Text

secret boyfriends; senior homecoming

pt.1 / pt.2 / pt.3 / pt.4

Taemin’s Senior Homecoming was a big deal in many ways: he’d finally told his parents he wasn’t going to a school dance stag, he finally wore a stupid boutonniere to a school dance, he had been voted Homecoming King, he had to dance the first dance with the Homecoming Queen, and he and Kai managed to pretty much out themselves to the entire school not even a full minute into the first dance.

He also lost his virginity that night, so overall, it was a pretty special Saturday night for a seventeen year old.

When Kai and his parents showed up at Taemin’s house for pictures two hours before the dance, their parents realized the two of them were wearing matching light blue vests and bowties under their suits. Taemin had also told his mom two weeks before that he needed a boutonniere, and he made it sound like he needed it for Homecoming Court, but he and Kai had decided to actually get each other their boutonnieres so they could be somewhat traditional.

Kai hissed when Taemin pinned the flower on his suit, and Taemin punched his shoulder for trying to make him think he had poked him.

“We’re going together,” Taemin muttered slowly to his parents, fearing what his dad’s reaction would be. “Because he’s sort of my boyfriend.”

While his mom was giddy and clapping her hands and telling them how cute they looked in their matching suits, his dad was quiet. Taemin felt like he wasn’t going to be able to breathe until his dad said something, even if it was a negative reaction.

“Just how long has he been your boyfriend?” Taemin’s dad asked.

“Since we were, like, sophomores,” Taemin mumbled. “Are you - are you mad?”

“Of course I’m mad,” his dad said. “He’s been sleeping over in your bedroom practically every weekend since then, and you didn’t think to tell us you were together? Just what have you two been doing in there?”

“Nothing!” Taemin shouted, his voice getting higher. “We haven’t done anything!”

“Well,” his dad huffed, crossing his arms. “You can kiss that little privilege goodbye. He sleeps over, he sleeps on the couch. Understand?”

“Uh, yes?” Taemin said.

That was a much different reaction than what he had been expecting.

Their other friends and their dates were starting to arrive, and Taemin sent one last glance at his dad before going to take pictures with everyone. They all of course made fun of the crown Taemin’s mom reminded him to put on, and Taemin just rolled his eyes at all of them.

When it was time to leave for the dance, Kai drove the two of them in his car to the school. Taemin had shoved a bunch of shit in the center console right when he got in, but he told Kai they were snacks to have before they went to the after parties.

Taemin’s dance coach was a chaperone - like she was every year - and she signed them both in when they got to the door.

“You two are looking rather sharp tonight,” she told them. “Very color-coordinated.”

“Thank you,” Taemin muttered, his cheeks heating up.

“Am I going to have to find you during one of the slow songs?” she asked quietly.

“Not this time,” he whispered. “I don’t think you’ll have to.”

“Alright,” she said. “But if that changes, you just come find me.”

“Yes, thank you,” he mumbled, but Kai had already grabbed his hand and was dragging him over to the table where their friends all were.

Moments before the dancing was supposed to start, the activities director came and pulled Taemin to the back of the gym so he could put on the cape and enter with the Homecoming Queen and the rest of the court. The director announced the King and Queen and said they would start the first dance, and Taemin wiggled his eyebrows at Krystal - the Queen - and held onto her waist when the music started playing.

Typically, if the King and Queen weren’t each other’s dates, the Queen’s date would interrupt the dance after about a minute and ask to take her hand. That year, not even forty-five seconds into the song, Kai rose from his seat and went to tap Krystal on the shoulder.

“Mind if I interrupt?” he asked, and nearly the entire gym was whispering about how he took one of Taemin’s hands and then put the other on his hip.

They were the only two dancing for almost a full thirty seconds, no one having even really known that they were there together, let alone that they were supposedly a couple, and they just watched as Taemin and Kai smiled at each other, laughed, and swayed together. By the time everyone else started dancing, no one noticed the dance coach go to whisper to the DJ to request the next slow song. No one even seemed to notice Taemin squeeze his arms around Kai’s waist and press his body even closer to him to rest his cheek on his shoulder.

When the next song came on, Taemin and Kai laughed at each other when they realized it was the first song they slow danced to during Homecoming their sophomore year - it had sort of become “their song” shortly after that night. Just like their first dance sophomore year, Taemin moved to lock his wrists behind Kai’s neck, Kai wrapped his arms around Taemin’s waist, and the two of them swayed together. This time, however, they actually looked at each other, and there was a severe lack of Kai stepping on Taemin’s feet.

By the end of the song, Taemin had his eyes closed while Kai leaned down to press their foreheads together. Taemin’s crown almost slipped off his head, and he laughed as he reached back to keep it up on his head. When he opened his eyes, Kai pressed a quick kiss to his lips before they could get caught by one of the chaperones.

After about five seconds of the first fast-paced song, Taemin dragged Kai by the hand over to where the chaperones were.

“Can I take these off now?” Taemin asked, tugging at the clasp that held the cape together.

The activities director took the cape and crown from him, and Taemin pulled Kai back to their table to leave their coats on their chairs and go back out to dance.

Even during the fast songs, they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. Now that everyone knew, Taemin didn’t care who saw them holding hands or touching each other’s hair or grabbing each other’s butts. And while he supposed some people might have thought Kai interrupting the first dance could have been a joke, the way they held each other during those first two slow dances was definitely not a joke, nor was the way Kai kissed him at the end of it.

Towards the end of the dance, Taemin and Kai hurried over to one of the doors leading outside and asked the chaperone at the door if they could go outside to get some air.

They went to sit behind the weight room, facing the ditch, and Taemin held tightly onto Kai’s hand.

“So, the stuff I put in your car,” Taemin stuttered. “Um, so, it’s not exactly snacks.”

“What do you mean?” Kai asked, rubbing his thumb over Taemin’s fingers.

“So, you know Jinki came home this weekend. For the game and everything,” Taemin started. “So, he sort of got me some stuff. To use tonight. Because there’s some stuff I maybe wanna try to do before we go to any parties.”

“Shit, dude, did you put weed in my car?”

“No!” Taemin hissed, looking around in case one of the chaperones had popped up near them. “Shit, dude, no. Jesus Christ, he got me condoms and shit!”

“Oh, thank God,” Kai said, holding his chest with his free hand. His head snapped back towards Taemin, though, after a moment, “Wait, what? Condoms?”

“And, like, lube,” Taemin stuttered, not looking at Kai. “If you wanted to - you know. We don’t have to, but, like, if you want, they’re there.”

“Woah,” Kai whispered. “Seriously? Where?”

“Where what?”

“Where the fuck are we supposed to fuck?”

“I don’t know, the back of your car?”

“What, like in the trunk?”

“I don’t fucking know, I guess?”

They were both quiet for a couple minutes, but neither of them let go of each other’s hand.

“We could fold the backseat down,” Kai mumbled. “And my mom makes me keep blankets and shit in the trunk in case of emergencies.”

“Are we gonna do this?” Taemin asked, turning towards him.

Kai shrugged, “I mean I guess, if you want.”

“Do you want to?”

“I mean, yeah, kinda.”

“Cool,” Taemin muttered.

“We could always fuck in the ditch.”

“Why the fuck are you so obsessed with this ditch?” Taemin laughed, pushing Kai away from him.

“It was a joke!” Kai laughed.

A couple hours later found Kai lying on top of Taemin in the back of his car. They had told their friends they were gonna meet them at Ravi’s for the party after they went to get booze with Taemin’s brother using Jinki’s fake ID. Instead, they drove by the beach, parked where no other cars were, climbed into the back where they had already put the seats down, and tried to figure out exactly how they were gonna have sex.

It involved a lot of swearing, Googling, one ripped condom when Kai tried to be cool and open it with his teeth, probably too much lube, and a very loud Spotify playlist. In hind sight, they probably should have waited until a time when they had access to a bed and they weren’t fucking in public, but it was exciting, it was fun, and even though Kai’s car smelled like sweat and rubber condoms for two days, it was kind of worth it.

When they showed up to Ravi’s later that night, no one even noticed that they didn’t have any booze with them. Taemin stayed glued to Kai’s side, their arms intertwined and lazy smiled on both of their faces. Taemin’s face was red before he even had his first drink, and Kai said he would be their designated driver for the night.

“You earned a drink,” Kai told him with a laugh, and he moved to squeeze one of Taemin’s buttcheeks.

“Stop,” Taemin whined, but he laughed anyway. “Shut up.”

Taemin drank maybe two whole beers that night, because he decided it was more fun to make out with Kai out by Ravi’s pool than it was to get shit-faced playing beer pong.

“Hey!” Jimin’s voice called, and he whacked Taemin on the back of the head.

Taemin, who had been straddling Kai, yelped and turned to look at him.

“What?”

“Since when have you two been a thing?” Jimin asked, his voice sounding a mix between hurt and annoyed.

“Since, like, the summer before sophomore year,” Taemin told him, moving around to sit on Kai’s lap.

“And you didn’t tell me?” Jimin asked, putting one hand over his chest while the other held a red solo cup. “I’m hurt.”

“To be fair, a total of like, six people knew until today,” Taemin told him.

Jimin scoffed, told him he was a douche, and went stumbling over to his date for the night to get another drink.

“I’m gonna kick your ass at dance on Monday!” Jimin called over his shoulder. “I thought dance dudes kept no secrets from each other!”

Taemin and Kai only laughed, because Jimin was beyond wasted at that point, and Taemin wondered if he would even remember that fake little threat come Monday.

When Kai dropped Taemin off at his house after the party, they lingered on Taemin’s porch for a few minutes while the outside light flickered above them.

“Bye,” Taemin whispered, laughing when Kai kissed him.

“Bye,” Kai whispered back.

Taemin kissed him, “Bye.”

“Bye.”

They just kept giggling with each other, re-lacing their fingers together, and pecking each other on the lips as they repeated “Bye” to each other until the front door opened next to them.

“Goodbye, Kai,” Taemin’s dad said, and the two of them immediately separated.

“See you on Monday,” Taemin muttered as he went inside.

“See you Monday,” Kai said. “Goodbye, Mr. Lee.”

As Taemin closed the front door, his dad only shook his head at him.

“Go to bed, it’s late,” he said. “And you and your mom need to take your suit back tomorrow.”

“Okay, goodnight,” Taemin whispered. “M’sorry I was out so late.”

“You’re home before 2:30, that’s all I ask for,” his dad said, going off towards his bedroom. “Goodnight, Taemin.”

Taemin let out a relieved breath and went to shower before going to bed.

“This isn’t the right coat,” the man at the suit rental store said the next day. “Or the right bow tie.”

“What?” Taemin asked. “No way, those are both what I was wearing last night. The bow tie is the same color as the vest, it has to be right.”

“Computer says it’s not the right bar code,” the man said. “But they are both ours, so you probably just grabbed your friend’s or something by mistake. No big deal, happens all the time.”

Taemin definitely did not like the look on his mom’s face, but she didn’t say anything, so he didn’t either.

The next Monday at lunch, Kai let out a huff of a breath as he sat down at their usual lunch table and wrapped an arm around Taemin’s shoulders.

“What’s with you?” Taemin mumbled, trying to finish a Latin translation before the next period.

“So did you have the wrong coat and tie at the rental place?” Kai asked, and all their friends turned to look at them.

Taemin turned to glare at him, and he muttered, “Yeah, what of it?”

“My mom totally knows,” he said.

“Knows what?” Taemin hissed, kicking him under the table. “The guy said it was no big deal, happens all the time.”

“I told her,” Kai whined. “She was staring at me for so long in the car after we returned it, I couldn’t not tell her.”

“Kai!” Taemin hissed.

“Tell your mom what?” their friends all asked.

“Nothing!” Taemin said. “He told her nothing!”

“She knew,” Kai hissed. “She knew I was fucked-”

“What do you mean you were fucked?” Taemin scoffed. “I was the one who-”

He stopped himself before he said anything else, and he clamped his mouth shut and stomped on Kai’s foot.

“Shut up,” he hissed at them all when all their friends started laughing, having figured out what happened and what Taemin was about to say. “Give me your stupid Latin homework.”

He reached over and grabbed the Latin workbook right out of Ravi’s hands, and he scribbled out the translation while his cheeks felt like they were on fire and his friends all laughed.

“Wait, when the fuck did you two have time to-”

“Shut the fuck up, Ravi, I swear to God,” Taemin hissed. “After the dance but before we went to your place, now shut up about it. God, announce it to the whole fucking school why don’t you?”

“Was it good?”

“I’m not answering that,” Taemin snapped.

“It was pretty good,” Kai said.

“Stop talking about it!” Taemin whined. “Seriously.”

“Okay, sorry, we’re stopping now,” Kai told him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

Taemin scoffed at him, stomped on his foot again, and then went right back to copying Ravi’s Latin homework.

#taemin #kai #taekai #shinee #ravi #jimin #secret boyfriends au

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