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elisysd · 4 months

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47. I wanna be better, I wanna be new but I can’t be those things next to you

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Next to You - Charlotte Cardin

The ride back from the villa to Monaco made Julia realize how she had lived in a protective bubble, away from reality, for a few days and how much she had needed it. She had to admit, waking up with the breakfast already made, Martin training in the pool or in the backyard while she would read or draw in the morning, their long conversations about life and the struggles they both had gone through, the movies and board games nights… she would miss all of that. Not necessarily Martin, but the sense of comfort and peace he had brought her. Something she had longed for a while. If Ethan had been a beautiful storm in her life, Martin had been the calm after it. He had helped her put back the first broken pieces of herself and now she had to do the rest. But most of all, she had won a friend. It had brought them closer, that was for sure and she also knew that it wouldn’t stop that fast considering Martin’s physiotherapist would be the one who would train her to get back her full mobility. Martin had joked about how soon she would take his place in the car as Ernesto Falcone was a gem in the field. She would be back on her feet in no time, Martin had assured her.

When he dropped her in front of the hospital, he had asked her if she needed him to stay, not sure if he could or should leave her alone. She had assured him that everything would be fine and confidently, she had made her way to the front door of the hospital. Feeling and seeing her casts finally away from her made her feel lighter and happier. It was as if she could finally say goodbye to the events of the wedding. It was bittersweet but if it meant she could finally allow herself to move on, then it was the right thing to do. She needed her crutches and her wrist still needed to be looked after but it was a lot better. From now on, it would be full time training with Martin and Ernesto until it would be time for the second part of the season. She was looking forward to it. Going back to the paddock, watching the races, cheering on her friends, learning as much as possible to help for the development of the next car. She was excited.

Once out, she called her mom so she could come to pick her up and sat down on a bench, enjoying the sun on her face. She texted Romy to let her know she was home and asked her if she was up for a call during the week to which her best friend replied that she was more than just up to it and that Julia had a lot to tell her. She was still with Kyle, enjoying peaceful days at her place away from the hustle-bustle of the city. When she finally saw her mom's Ferrari, she let out a sigh of relief. She limped to the car as her mom was getting out, engulfing her in a hug before putting her bag on the backseats.

“I’m so happy to see you. How are you doing? Did the break away from Monaco help you to feel better? I want to know everything.”

And Julia did tell her everything. Once finally home, she was welcomed by a very excited Bailey and a hug from her dad and her brother, happy to finally see her out of her wheelchair. Her dad announced to her that in order to properly celebrate her new position at Ferrari he had made a reservation to her favorite restaurant in Monaco. She had whispered to Louis if Ethan would join them but her brother only shook his head, negatively and looked at his feet.

“He said it would be too awkward for him.”

“I’m sorry, Louis.”

“Not as much as me.”

She wanted to say something but Louis didn’t give her time. She watched him disappear up the stairs, probably to isolate himself and recharge his social batteries before going out.

“I knew the break up with Ethan would affect him but I hoped it wouldn’t be this much.”

“He still talks to him a lot. When you were away in Maranello with your dad he was always on his phone chatting with him. Your dad is not so thrilled about it, by the way.” said her mom, taking a seat next to her daughter.

“Of course, he isn’t… Ethan is not a bad person and he cares a lot about Louis. We can trust him.”

“That’s what I told your dad. I don’t think he is mad about Ethan, I think he is really disappointed. I know he is attached to him. He saw him grew up and become the man that he is today, I think at some point he almost considered him as a son. He took Max’s place in certain areas and I think a part of him thinks he failed Ethan.”

“It’s stupid. Is it still because of Canada?”

“Yeah. And other things that are not about Ethan… These past few weeks have been tough for your dad.”

“Should I be worried? Is it about Ferrari and Carlos?”

“I don’t think you should. Your dad doesn’t really tell me anything.”

Julia shrugged, still a bit worried and it didn’t die down when her dad came back from his office, visibly frustrated.

“Fucking Carlos! I swear he will never stop from finding a new way of making my job harder than it needs to be!”

“What’s wrong?” Julia asked.

“He is reducing his sponsorship. Since Elijah is moving to WEC, still for Ferrari and Carlos is one of his personal sponsors besides being one of the team, he wants to reduce the investment. He says that the team is not reliable enough for him to risk losing money. I don’t understand! We are P2, thanks to you Ju’. What else does he want? It’s not like we can close the gap with Lamborghini, they are too far ahead. And unless, suddenly the car starts to be unreliable, they will be crowned World Champion. We have seven races left, we can’t do anything besides still increasing the gap with Audi and get data for the next car.”

“Honey, it’s still summer break… what do you think of no more work related talk. We are going out, let’s forget about all of that and have a nice family dinner.” Lyanna sighed.

“Yeah… you’re right. I’m sorry. No more work talk. It’s family time.”

And they had a great time. It has been a while since Julia had felt this relaxed and had laughed so much. They left the restaurant late at night and the moon was high in the sky. They were about to go to the car when Louis let out a scream.

“Ethan! You came!”

Julia turned around and almost tripped when she saw him, leaning against the passenger side door of his Maserati.He was wearing a black tuxedo and had two bouquets of roses in his hands. When he saw the family, he slowly made his way kissing Lyanna’s cheeks twice, handing her one of the bouquets before turning to Julia.

“Hey…”

“Hi” she whispered.

“This… this one's for you. I’m glad to see you out of all those casts.”

“How did you know?”

“Louis told me you had a doctor appointment to remove them today.” he explained, his eyes glued to the ground as if he was ashamed to know.

“Is that everything you are here for?” she asked.

“I tried to text you. To ask how you were doing. My texts didn’t go through, did you block me?”

“I had to. It was too hard… I’m not saying it will be forever, it's just for now, it hurts too much. I’m sorry.’

‘I understand. But Louis told me you were okay for the boat day. I wouldn’t blame you if you were backing down, I don’t want you to feel like you have to for Louis.”

“I want to. And we will see each other a lot anyway, we have friends in common, we will cross paths in the paddock… might as well get used to your presence, now, so it won’t get awkward.”

“Good, then…” he gulped before looking at Charles who had a protective arm around his wife’s waist. “Can I talk to you? It’s important…”

Lyanna put a hand on her husband as if to say to be nice and he indicated Ethan to follow him. They went in an alleyway, away from everyone and wouldn’t have been anyone else but Charles, Ethan would have seriously thought he was going to get killed.

“Mr Leclerc… I… I don’t know where to start.”

“The beginning?”

“I want to apologize. For a lot of things. For what I did back then in Canada and for the way it all ended with Julia. I shouldn’t have gone radio silent, I should have been by her side when she had her accident. I know I scared you and you have all the right to get mad at me. I’m sorry I disappointed you. I think besides the break up, it’s what is hurting me the most. You’ve always believed in me, even when people were saying that I wasn’t that worthy of it and I proved to them they were right when it should have been the opposite.”

He heard Charles sighing before feeling a warm hand on his shoulder and soon a broad chest against his cheek.

“I’m sorry too. About a lot of things. About how I treated you, about how things ended between you and Julia. You can always count on me, Ethan. You’re not alone, you have never been. I appreciate you owning up to your mistakes, it means that you grew up and that makes me proud.”

“So we’re good?”

“Call me Charles, please.”

And Ethan knew everything was fine. The next day, he felt ready to spend it with Louis. It would be fun, he knew it, but a part of him was dreading the afternoon. He had promised Louis to take him on the boat to see the coastline and the sun setting. He couldn’t suddenly tell him that he didn’t feel like it. His palms were sweating, his heart was about to jump out of his chest and he wanted to throw up. He was not supposed to feel like this. She was not supposed to make him feel like this. But seeing her after two weeks, still as beautiful as ever, it did make him feel a tingle in his stomach. And he felt stupid about how he had tried to forget her in arms of other women. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to forget her.

When he arrived in front of the Leclerc’s house, Louis was already waiting for him, wearing a full blue outfit and his backpack firmly adjusted on his shoulders. He almost ran to the car when he saw it parked in the driveway and asked him if they could go.

“I should say hello to your family first before kidnapping you for the day.”

“You don’t want to say hello to my mom and dad, you only want to say hello to Julia. But I understand, she talked a lot about you yesterday.”

“She did?” Ethan asked, surprised.

“No. But you fell for it which means that you thought about her a lot yesterday.” Louis replied with a proud smile.

“You are a little genius. You got me. And yeah, I did think about her a lot. I think about her a lot, most generally.”

“Because you love her.”

“Because I love her.”

As if she heard they were talking about her, Julia got out of the house and Ethan gulped when he noticed she was wearing a playsuit. It was so stupid to feel this way, he was not a horny teenager anymore, he knew how to behave, seeing her bare legs shouldn’t have this effect on him.

“My dad is out for a run and my mom is on the phone with someone. I just wanted to say a few things about Louis and…”

“It’ll be fine. It’s not the first time we are going out.”

“I know but if he has a panic attack, I want you to know exactly…”

“Joolsie. It’s fine, I promise. If I see him spiraling we will leave and I’ll bring him home. Don’t worry, he’s safe with me.”

“I know he is. You’re probably the only person out of the family I trust him with.”

“And about tonight… are you still up for it?”

“Sure, do you want me to join you guys on the harbor?”

“We can come back to get you. So Louis can get rid of his stuff or if he wants to change.”

“Great.”

“Perfect.” he added.

“You guys look like divorced parents…” said Louis, coming to them and startling them in the process. “I’ll be okay! Can we go now?”

Julia gave Louis one last hug before letting him go. She hated the idea to leave her brother alone with Ethan. Not that she was worried about what could happen, she trusted the blond driver enough to know he would know how to react. But she hated the idea to be the subject of their conversation and to not have any control over what was being said. She was not stupid, she knew they were going to talk about her, even more considering the little boat escape planned for the late afternoon.What if Ethan was planning something with Louis? Trapping her, without any possibilities to escape.

She spent the day near her phone, the volume put to the maximum to make sure she wouldn’t miss a call and when it rang she rushed to her phone.

“Ethan? Is everything okay?”

“It’s not Ethan…”

“Martin, sorry. I was expecting someone else…”

“Yeah, that I gathered. What’s happening?”

“Nothing special. Louis is out with Ethan and we are supposed to meet for a little trip on his boat.” she quickly explained.

“And how do you feel about that?”

“About the boat? It’s going to be a diner. Louis will be there. I do that for him. It’s fine, I just have to focus on that.”

“You’re blocking your feelings. You’re trying to avoid them.”

“I don’t.” she hissed.

“Juls.”

“Okay, fine! What do you want me to say? That the idea of being alone with him makes me want to run away? Because I know that as soon as he will look at me with his ice blue eyes, I will want to stay there forever. That the way he cares about Louis and how my brother looks up to him so much makes my heart melt? That no matter how hard I try and want to, I still want to unblock him and text him and beg him to forgive me so we can start again? I love him, Martin. And it hurts so much to love him.” she finished with a sob.

“Breathe, Julia. What you are feeling is normal, the break up is fresh. You’re still hurting. It’s fine. And Ethan is probably the same.”

“When is it going to stop?”

“I don’t know, Julia… I really can’t tell you.”

“Anyway, why did you call?”

“I wanted to ask how you were doing now that you don’t have your casts anymore.”

“I feel lighter, I can’t wait to start the physiotherapy.”

“Good to hear you are motivated. Have you ever considered adding real therapy to that? With everything that happened and the crash….”

“I don’t need one.” she refused categorically.

“Avoiding your feelings like that, trying to pretend you are okay when you definitely aren’t, controlling everything because you are scared of letting go… that’s not healthy.”

“Fuck off, Martin.”

“And I put my finger on something, I guess.” she could hear the smile in his voice.

“I’ve been to therapy. It lasted years, okay. I don’t want to go back there.” she said, in a low voice.

Hearing her tone, Martin quickly understood that it was no use to try to argue with her. He dropped the subject by quickly talking about how he had his sister on the phone earlier and how he was so happy about it. He hadn’t been able to call her for about four months because of the races, the constant traveling and the fact that Georgia was busy with school as well. Even if the call had been short, much to his regret, he was still happy to know she was doing okay. Julia could see that he almost added something, that it had been on the tip of his tongue but he stopped himself last second. She wouldn’t have been this concerned if it hadn’t been for the dark look he had on his face.

“I have to go… Gotta prepare myself.” she said, in a gulp.

“You’ll be beautiful, his jaw is going to drop.”

“I don’t know about that… I’ll be on his boat, I don’t want to be too overdressed.”

When she hung up she could see a few texts from Louis telling her that they were almost done with the aquarium and that he couldn’t wait to show her the pictures. She smiled, happy to see her brother having fun. She didn’t expect to receive a selfie, taken by Ethan, of them doing a weird pose in front of a replica of a shark skeleton. She laughed a little, replying with a heart emoji before going to her bathroom to change. She hesitated a lot in front of her wardrobe. Should she go in a dress? If yes, which type? Wouldn’t it be too overdressed? Should she wear a simple pair of jeans? Or shorts? Wouldn’t she be, in this case, too underdressed? Why was it so hard to choose an outfit!

Her eyes fell on the gold dress Ethan wanted her to wear for the wedding and she let out a sigh. It felt like years ago. It was a beautiful dress she had to admit and regretted not having an occasion to wear it anymore. She passed her hand on the material. When she had bought it, she had imagined a nice occasion with it. She didn’t know what exactly, she only knew it wouldn’t have been a dinner in a restaurant, or a sponsor event she would have needed to attend. She just knew it would have been special.

Her choice finally went to a blue linen dress with a pair of white sandals, it still gave summer vibes, it fitted well with the setting and she was feeling pretty and comfortable. She decided on minimal makeup and soon it was time for her to go. The Maserati appeared in the corner of the street as soon as she was out and was in her driveway when she finished locking the door. She could see her brother and Ethan still laughing in the car and for a minute she wondered where she would sit. Behind them, of course, she thought, and the pang it caused to her heart made her want to turn away.

Chin up, she walked to the car and opened the door to sit behind Louis who as soon as her belt was buckled started to tell her about every fish he had seen, mentioning every single detail he had memorized. She was grateful for it as it made the car ride a lot less uncomfortable for her. In the rear view mirror she could see Ethan giving her little glances, from time to time and when she finally caught a glance that lingered longer than the others she swore she could read a sadness in them that made her feel even guiltier about the situation. She was able to breathe better when they finally arrived at their destination. Ethan led them inside the little yacht and soon they made their way to the middle of the sea.

“I didn’t know you knew how to drive a boat…” she said, trying to make small talk.

“There are still many things you don’t know about me, Joolsie. I would have loved to show them to you.”

“You still can…”

“But not in the way I want to.”

She was about to reply when she saw Louis arriving with his phone, ready to show her something. He took her by the hand, wanting to absolutely show her something in the sea. She tried to focus but couldn’t see anything beside the glistening surface.

“Ethan asked me if I wanted a girlfriend. He said that he could introduce me to some people…” Louis said out of the blue.

“And what did you tell him?”

“That I was in love with Romy but that it would be best if I stopped it because she is happy with Kyle and I want to see her happy.”

“That’s very mature of you.”

“And then, Ethan told me that the best way to forget someone was to get under somebody else.”

“He said what?” she gasped.

“That I…”

“No… I perfectly understood what he said. Excuse me for a minute, Louis, I’ll be back.”

She furiously went back to Ethan who gulped when he saw her arrived.

“What are you trying to teach my brother, Verstappen?” she stood in front of him.

“What did I do?”

“The best way to forget someone is to get under someone else? Who do you think you are?”

“I mean… it’s the saying.”

“You sure know a lot about that? That’s something you are doing a lot lately, right?”

“I see someone is stalking me.”

“Don’t turn my brother into a mini you. That’s all I’m saying.” she stated and as she was about to leave when he grabbed her arm to pull her against him.

“You’re so jealous.”

“I’m not. We broke up, you can do whatever the hell you want. Or in your case you can do whoever you want.” she hissed.

“I stopped you know. Trying to forget you in someone else’s arms. It doesn’t work. You’re too engraved in my memory, Julia.” he whispered against her ears, making her shiver.

“You went back to your old fuckboy ways.”

“I thought it would be easier, that I could cope with the pain better this way. I was wrong. So wrong. You’re the only one I want to hear whispering my name, you’re the only want I want to see come undone between my hands. You’re the only one, Joolsie.”

She instinctively clung to his shirt as one of his hands found her waist.

“You can’ say things like this, Ethan.” she said, her voice shaking.

“Why? Because it makes you feel things? Because it makes you want to kiss me? Because it makes you want to run to me?”

“All of the above.”

“We can try to make us work out, Julia. If two people can do it, it’s us. I just wish you had as much faith in us as me.”

“We already had this conversation…”

“I know and I’m not trying to make you change your mind. I let you have your space and when you’ll be ready, I’ll be there. It’s just… It’s hard.”

“Don’t think it’s easy for me.”

He let out a frustrated sigh before releasing his grip on her.

“Can I be honest?” he asked.

“Of course. I expect you to always be honest with me….”

“I know we said we could still be friends but the truth is I can’t. I don’t want to. And I think I prefer to have none of you than half of you.”

A part of her expected that to happen, she just didn’t think it would be this soon and this brutal.

“I love you. I want to be with you, fully. When you’ll have made up your mind. For now, I just think it’s too hard for both of us. We are not ready.”

“I know we are not. I just thought that maybe… Louis could help us getting closer, again, and…”

“We don’t need Louis for that, Julia. We are close. Closer will come when we’ll both get rid of our insecurities and our own struggles. We both deserve to be the best versions of ourselves for each other.”

She nodded, her eyes glued on the horizon.

“Can I selfishly ask for one last hug?” she asked through the tears.

“You don’t need to ask.”

He took her in his arms, slowly rocking her back and forth. And when they both felt better, they went to find Louis, still looking at the sea, unaware of the fact that the two young adults had once again broken each other's hearts a little more.

Author's note: What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

#writing #fiction #charles leclerc #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 x oc #charles leclerc fanfic #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen

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church-of-lilith · 1 year

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I have a prompt for the Abbott Elementary Work Wives, if that’s ok? A tradition they have for the end of the school year that they celebrate together, maybe?

After the last bell rings on the last day of the school year, when the last child walks out of the building and safely into the hands of their caregiver, when the building’s doors finally lock after one last forgotten lunchbox or jacket, Melissa and Barbara celebrate.

While Melissa’s usual ideas of celebration are more material; going out for drinks, for example. Barbara always enjoys celebrating a little more practically.

(They didn’t actually consider this a celebration, or even a tradition, until about 1998 when they’d both been around a few too many years to really care what they called it.)

Regardless, they always start in Melissa’s room.

While it has moved around over the years, it seems that the powers that be always knew it was a good idea to keep them relatively close together. So whether she moves across the hall, or around the corner, Barbara always arrives at the end of the year like clockwork—a gentle knock to the doorframe and copious amounts of cardboard boxes in hand.

When they work they mostly do so in silence—something that initially unnerved Melissa in their earlier years but now is more comforting than any conversation could be.

There’s something therapeutic about it, working methodically to deconstruct a year’s worth of hard work and love—knowing it’ll all cycle through again next year.

“You have quite the collection of artwork this year,” Barbara smiles, looking at one that appears to be Melissa in front of the water ice truck from the beginning of the year.

“Yeah,” her face is hot, blushing furiously as she looks at the artwork she’s accumulated into piles in two huge cardboard boxes. “Double the class, double the drawings.”

Barbara moves onto the last board that needs deconstructing, slowly taking the staples out of the last few pieces of artwork and beginning to unravel the puzzle piece themed border around it. When she looks back, Melissa is still deeply engrossed in the box of drawings. She doesn’t mind, making quick work of the last display and allowing Melissa her time to decompress. It’s the other emotions she sees that worries her, less of joy and reflection—something more morose.

“Everything alright?” Barbara asks gently, coming back to her side. The last stack of drawings and letters accumulated from Melissa’s desk in hand.,

Melissa moves her glasses back to the top of her head. “Yeah, I should probably get cracking with these boxes though, if we have any shot of getting your room done on time.”

Barbara knows it’s not about her, or the boxes. She plays along anyways, hoping to garner some sort of truth. “What do you do, with all the gifts your students give you?”

Melissa turns away,“You’ll think it’s stupid,” she suddenly feels bashful, closing the lid on the first box.

Barbara passes her the last stack, gently touching her hand as she does, “You know that’s not true.”

“I keep them all in boxes, labeled with the year. They sit in my attic for a long time, collecting dust. And then, sometimes, when things get harder than usual I go back through ‘em. It helps to remember all the years, all the kids’ lives I was part of. I wonder where they are now, and hope that I did enough.”

Barbara’s face softens, discarding one of the posters she carefully pulled down from Melissa’s bulletin board in favor of touching her shoulder gently. “Of course you did enough, Melissa, why are you second guessing your own abilities?”

Finally, it’s like the flood gates to all of the woman’s closed off emotions open. “I feel like I failed them, this year especially.”

“Melissa,” Barbara almost chides her.

Her voice falls, “The kids, my kids, if they were at a legendary charter school they would’ve been so much better off. They could have learned more, been happier, got the attention they really needed.”

Barbara shakes her head, “Look at everything these children have left behind in this room. All the drawings and letters, the memories, the happiness. What makes you think that you didn’t succeed in teaching them, in bringing them joy and fulfillment?”

“I should have done more, I could’ve.”

“You did what any good teacher would, your absolute best. Clearly your students agree.”

Melissa looks around the room again, already half deconstructed but an amalgamation of so many days of frustration and excitement, anxiety and peace, sadness and joy. It didn’t matter how she felt on any particular day, to her kids she was always just Ms. Schemmenti, they trusted her with everything they had.

Barbara thumbs through some of the letters, “Here’s one Max wrote about you going to get the whole class ice cream after they all aced their time tests. And another letter from a boy named Jordan thanking you for giving him a book from your personal collection that’s become his favorite. And here, one from Courtney, where she says that you moving her up a grade and listening to her when no one else would, made her feel like she belonged. If that doesn’t tell you something, well, I don’t know what will.”

She’s allowing tears to slip down her face at that point, sitting in the middle of the room and suddenly feeling overwhelmed. Boxes upon boxes stacked and she feels like she’s drowning in it all, all over again.

Barbara reaches up and wipes her tears, stroking her face ever so gently. “You are a good teacher, Melissa Schemmenti.”

Melissa kisses her softly, thanking her in the best way she knows how. Barbara keeps her grounded, level-headed, even when she feels like the walls are closing in and the entire world is against her. Barbara is always there.

When they’ve both taken a quiet moment for themselves, Melissa gets to her feet. “Just gotta finish sorting my books and extra supplies and then I’ll be done.”

Barbara hums, taking the woman’s extended hand and following her over to the other side of the room. She makes quick work of sorting pencils and crayons back into boxes, allowing Melissa to finish packing up the books from her reading corner.

They move onto Barbara’s classroom then, which—as always—is infinitely easier to deconstruct than Melissa’s. This is because for many years Barbara’s room has never moved, staying stagnant in one place. This is how it should be, because Barbara is a rock for Abbott, and her classroom has become a home to so many of the kids who still pass through these halls. The room never changing location is important, because years later when kindergarteners grow into second or third graders, they still know the way back to Mrs. Howard’s room to say hello.

They never have to do much work with her space at the end of the year. Just packing up extra supplies Barbara doesn’t want to risk losing over the next few months, books and blankets to go back into storage. Every year the same room–just a new coat of paint applied in whatever theme strikes Barbara that year. This year it’s rainbows, and Melissa can’t help but feel emotional as she helps the woman she loves reminisce over it all.

To her credit, Barbara has just as many drawings of her likeness, maybe even more than Melissa considering the kindergartners are too young to show their admiration through written word. Some of the older students leave her letters, though, even years later. Barbara cherishes them all, remembering each and every student in a way that Melissa admires immensely. She loves when the kids ask her about Barbara, how she’s doing, if she’s still reading stories to the younger kids like she used to do with them.

What Melissa enjoys most is when Barbara shuffles in with little gifts or even forgotten items from the long nights before. Each time she does her best not to disturb class, leaving Melissa with a quick kiss, a chorus of ‘Bye Mrs. Howard!’ in her wake and a smile upon her face.

Melissa feels like Barbara’s classroom is her home, too.

Another thing that’s changed since they started this little end of the year tradition in 1998 is that now they don’t part ways in the parking lot, promises of getting together for lunch in the summer dying on their lips. Now they load their boxes into the same car, humming along to Bobby Brown on the short drive back to Melissa’s house that has slowly but surely become Barbara’s as well.

When they get home, Melissa puts this year's boxes in the attic along with the others. She looks over each of them fondly, dusting them off and tracing the numbers with her index finger. Then she retreats back downstairs, where Barbara has already poured them both glasses of wine and reheated the Danny Wok’s they picked up last night for a dinner that went untouched in favor of other matters.

As traditions go, it’s not much. But for them, it’s perfect.

#my writing #my fics #abbott elementary #work wives #barbara x melissa #melissa schemmenti #barbara howard #from the ask box

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fangirlwriting-stories · 2 years

Text

Virgil’s Guide To Being An Older Brother

Chapter One

Author’s Note: I'm going out of town this coming weekend, so I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, but I wanted to post one more before I left.

Chapter 2/4:

Virgil worked out a deal with his parents the following day. He’d take a car to school and pick up Roman and Remus after theirs ended if he got an hour where he could do something with them. That way the two of them could do something together after work before they had to come home for dinner and Virgil could have the twins. And though he wouldn’t tell them this, the something he usually did with Roman and Remus would be taking them to a park or a skateboarding rink or a bowling alley, anywhere that Roman could get a chance on weekdays to be a kid and get some of his pent up energy out in a way that didn’t involve pressure.

Mom and Dad agreed, and Virgil watched Roman get so much happier over the weeks that followed. Remus and him having an hour to play together was even improving their own relationship to some extent. Virgil felt probably a little too proud of himself for it. He also felt not at all too proud of Roman and Remus for how well they were working to start talking with each other.

An unfortunate result of adding responsibilities to his day, however, was that he now had almost no time for his homework, and his grades started to slip. Really, it was only a matter of time before his parents brought it up, he couldn’t be that surprised.

“I just don’t understand what the issue is,” Dad said. “You haven’t struggled in school before. Do you not understand the material?”

“I understand it,” Virgil said. “That’s not the problem.”

“What is the problem then, sweetheart?” Mom asked.

Virgil didn’t want to say that he didn’t have time because he was helping Remus with his. Telling his parents they should be spending more time paying attention to Remus hadn’t gone over well the last time.

“I just… it’s the details,” he said weakly. “I mess up on the little details.”

Mom sighed. “Okay,” she said. “How about this. You can meet with a tutor for an hour after school to figure out what’s tripping you up, and we’ll pay for Roman and Remus to stay in aftercare for an hour.”

Virgil bit his lip. That would get rid of his hour with the twins, but the two of them could still spend time together at aftercare. Virgil was pretty sure they’d let them play outside if they wanted, or draw or sketch. And an hour built into his day where he had to work on homework did sound really helpful.

“I’ll still get to pick them up after?” he asked finally.

“For now. Get your grades up and we’ll talk about allowing you to keep doing it,” Mom said, crossing her arms.

Virgil nodded, squeezing his hands into fists.

So now he had to meet with someone in the library after school from 3:00-4:00, starting on Monday. He was sort of looking forward to it, he supposed. He always managed to get his homework done rather quickly, maybe if he did that he could give himself some free time.

So Monday afternoon, he headed to the library. There was only one person there who must have been his tutor. He was sitting at a table with a binder and a set of textbooks, and— was he wearing a tie? Like an actual tie?

“Uh, hi,” Virgil said, stopping over the table. “Are you Logan?”

The person glanced up, and nodded when he saw Virgil. “I am,” he said. “I take it you are Virgil then.”

“That’s me,” Virgil said, setting his bag down awkwardly. He was never good at meeting new people.

“Excellent. You are very punctual, I appreciate that.”

“Heh, yeah, thanks, it’s the anxiety,” Virgil said. “So, does this… how does this work, exactly?”

“Well, I’m here to help in any areas you find yourself struggling with. I can follow your lead with that if you like. What areas do you think you’d like the most help with?”

“Um,” Virgil said. Shit, what were areas that students tended to struggle in? “Math?”

“Sure, that sounds fine,” Logan said, folding his hands together on top of his notebook. “What’s the most recent homework you’ve gotten for your class?”

Virgil reached into his backpack and pulled out his math folder and textbook, then pulled out the homework he’d gotten earlier that day and flipped to the page they were assigned.

“You haven’t started it yet?” Logan asked. He didn’t sound irritated, but Virgil winced internally anyway.

“Uh, no, I haven’t had a chance.”

“That’s alright. How about you just start working on this, and then let me know when you need help.”

Virgil nodded. Well, shit. Now he had to find an area of this math that he understood well enough to be able to pretend to struggle with it. He took a breath, and started working, making his way through about a third of the assignment in the textbook before stopping at a problem at the start of a section.

“I don’t get this one,” he said, pointing it out to Logan.

Logan scooted forward and looked over the problem, then nodded to himself. “This builds on the problems you did earlier,” he said. “See this first section? This problem is like the ones from there with an added factorial.”

“Ah,” Virgil said, pretending like he hadn’t known that before Logan said it. “Okay, let me try that then.”

He worked through the problem, then showed it to Logan, who nodded with a smile. “That’s correct,” he said. “Good work. You want to try another one?”

Virgil nodded, and slowly worked through the rest of the problems, making sure to make a couple simple mistakes that Logan could call him out on along the way. But despite all that, it still didn’t take longer than fifteen minutes for Virgil to work through all of the problems.

“You did those rather well, Virgil,” Logan said with an approving nod. “Good job.” His gaze turned rather curious the next second. “You said this is the area you struggle the most in?”

“No, I didn’t say that,” Virgil said instantly. “This is just the area I wanted to start with.”

Logan’s gaze cleared. “Ah, I see. Confidence is important, but it’s probably more beneficial to our time if we start with the areas you need the most help in. I assure you, there is no shame in asking for help.”

“Right, yeah. Okay,” Virgil said, his hands shaking slightly as he reached back into his bag. What could he sell sucking at? After a second, he pulled out his chemistry homework and set it on the table.

“Alright,” Logan said. “Let’s try a similar method to start with.”

Virgil nodded, but this time stopped after the first question, pretending like he didn’t understand the second one.

“So… how do you remember the formulas?” Virgil asked. “I, uh… I’m not going to be able to use my notebook on the test, I want to be able to do my homework without them.”

“I understand the instinct,” Logan said with a nod. “But that’s actually less beneficial when it comes to studying. Why don’t we look at your notes for now, and when your next test comes up, I can help you study and practice them well enough to remember.”

“Okay,” Virgil said. He pulled out his notebook and started doing the problems as slowly as possible, looking over at the notebook every other second, and then looking at Logan as if he wanted to double check if he was doing it right. That plus the times he intentionally messed up meant they spent about forty minutes on the chemistry homework, but Logan seemed to think that was fairly normal. They had about five minutes left afterwards that Virgil used to do his English, but since he only had to do the outline and it wasn’t due until Friday, he finished it with a minute to spare.

Logan didn’t seem to be keeping track of time, however, meaning Virgil noted that the hour was up first.

“Ah, I see. Did you have anything else you wanted to work on? I still have some time to spare if you need it.”

“No, it’s— I have to go pick up my little brothers,” Virgil said, picking up his backpack to sling over his shoulder. “They’re in aftercare right now. We’re doing this again tomorrow, right?”

Logan nodded. “I’m here in the library after school everyday,” he said.

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Everyday? Sheesh.”

“I enjoy learning,” Logan said, standing as he put his own things away. “And I enjoy teaching others.”

“Great, because I definitely need a lot of it,” Virgil said nervously, shoving his hands in his hoodie pockets.

“I think you might be underestimating yourself,” Logan said. “You have areas you seem to need help with, but you are not doing poorly at all. And it is not a sign of being a bad student if one needs a little extra help.”

“Nope, you’re wrong, I’m terrible at everything and need a ton of help,” Virgil said, and Logan narrowed his eyes slightly in concern. But before he could say anything else, Virgil started for the door.

“Welp, gotta go get my brothers now, bye Logan, look forward to being here for many many weeks to come!” he called, making it to the library doors and opening them before Logan could say anything.

Well, that could have gone better. Virgil breathed out nervously, fumbling for the keys to the car his parents had given him for the day, trying to let the motion distract him.

Though Logan didn’t know it, he had more stake in this plan than even Virgil’s parents did. If he said he thought Virgil didn’t need help anymore, Virgil’s only time to do homework would disappear, and his parents would likely stop letting him pick up Roman and Remus too, meaning Roman would lose his free time and they would both lose their chance to just be brothers and have fun together.

That meant that all of the progress that was being made now depended on Virgil needing help in chemistry.

Virgil blew a breath out and ran his hands through his hair as he walked. Okay. How does one pretend to need long term help in chemistry?

…

Unsurprisingly, Virgil’s Google search for “how to pretend you’re failing a class” did not yield very helpful results. It seemed like he’d be on his own with this.

His strategy of working through the problems very slowly and double checking everything had seemed to work before, but Logan had also said it didn’t seem like he’d need long term help. He didn’t want to get things wrong on purpose, though. That would just anger his parents, which would blow his plan anyway.

His best option might be getting most things right but pretending he still didn’t understand. Like he was passing the class by accident, which could still cause problems in the future.

Virgil felt a spike of nerves and pressed his head down against his desk. Breathe. He could do this. He just had to be smart enough to pretend to be stupid. Totally doable. He could totally be smart enough to fool the clearly genius nerd that was tutoring him. Piece of cake.

Besides, it meant he got to see stuff like this.

“Virgil!”

Virgil pulled his head up off his desk in time to see Remus and Roman both running excitedly into the room.

“Virgil, guess what?” Roman asked, bouncing on his feet a little.

“What’s going on?” Virgil asked, turning to face them both directly with a smile.

“Janus invited us over!” Remus called happily. “He said he finally told his parents that he’d made some friends and they reacted way better than he expected they would and now they want to meet us! We get to go Friday afternoon and swim in his pool, can you drive us?”

“Course I will,” Virgil said, making a note to ask his parents if the two of them wanted to have a date night on Friday. “I’m glad you three are getting along.”

“Janus is cool!” Roman said happily. “He says he likes to watch me act, cause he wants to direct someday! And he says I do good!”

“Cause you do,” Remus said with a grin at Roman. “Mom and Dad just have stupid standards.”

“That’s awesome Ro,” Virgil said, pushing past an ache in his chest. “Yeah, I can take you there Friday afternoon. Just remember to pack your swimsuits when you go to school.”

“Okay!” Remus said happily, and the two of them headed back out of the room, talking excitedly to each other as they did so.

Virgil sat back in his chair with a fond smile. Okay. He could find a way to do this. For Roman and Remus’ sake. He’d manage. It would be totally fine.

That didn’t mean it wouldn’t be time consuming, however, as Virgil found out pretty quickly. Intentionally trying to take a long time and pretend to struggle on his chemistry pretty much ruined his plans of building some free time into his day. But Roman and Remus looked so much happier lately, he couldn’t stop giving them their hour after school. He’d just shove down the slowly growing exhaustion and dread and the fear that this would be the rest of his life forever and he’d never get to stop.

There was at least one good thing that came out of it all, and that was that Logan was pretty cool, actually. Virgil imagined that even if he’d actually needed the help Logan would have been able to do so. He did such an excellent job at explaining and working through problems, better than most teachers Virgil had ever had. When he told him he planned on being a teacher one day, Virgil didn’t doubt it for a second.

But even outside of that, Logan was deeply awesome. He did scientific experiments for fun in his free time (Virgil made a note to never introduce him to Remus), and he analyzed television shows and wrote analytical essays on them, and he knew a ton about space and science and everything, it seemed. In the brief time they got to talk after they finished Virgil’s homework, they always had interesting and fun conversations. And by the time Friday rolled around, Virgil had come to realize that Logan would be a pretty fantastic person to be friends with.

“Okay, but consider,” Virgil said, shoving his things into his backpack. “Analyzing the science behind horror movies.”

“Oh that would be quite intriguing,” Logan mused, his lips turning up slightly in what was his version of a smile. “Trying to understand the psychology behind their decisions. Humans are much less adept at decision-making when scared, I think looking at the brain chemistry there could be quite fun.”

“Wait, are you trying to tell me that the stupid decisions that people make in those movies are actually reasonable?” Virgil asked as they started towards the door.

“Not reasonable,” Logan said. “More… understandable, I suppose.”

“Well now I’ve gotta hear this. Go on,” Virgil said. But before Logan could say anything, Virgil’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out.

Remus: Are you on your way?

“Shit,” Virgil said, shoving his phone back in his pocket. “I’ve got to go, I promised Roman and Remus I’d take them to their friends house to swim. Tell me about it next time?”

“Or I could text you,” Logan said. “That would be more practical, if you wouldn’t mind giving me your number.”

“Oh,” Virgil said in surprise. “Yeah, sure.”

He handed his phone over to Logan, who pulled his own phone out and handed it to Virgil at the same moment.

Virgil put his number in and handed it back to Logan, getting his own phone back a second later.

“I will text you when I’ve done some research,” Logan said with another slight upturn of his lips. “Have a good day, Virgil.”

“You too Lo,” Virgil said with a small smile back. He waved as he headed out of the library and towards his car. It was only after he’d shut the door that he realized he’d called him ‘Lo’ instead of Logan.

Well, shit. Okay then. Casual nicknames weren’t really a thing you did with your tutor. But Virgil hadn’t thought he considered them friends yet. Or maybe he did, but Logan didn’t, and he’d just done something Logan would be uncomfortable with? But Logan hadn’t reacted at all. Did that mean it was okay? Did that mean he considered them friends? Was Virgil overthinking this?

Unfortunately for the part of his brain that loved to overanalyze everything, he couldn’t dwell on it for very long, because Roman and Remus’ school wasn’t very far away, and as he pulled up to the group of kids waiting outside the two of them started running towards his car already.

“Hi Virgil!” Roman called happily.

“Let’s go!” Remus cried, shoving Roman out of the way and jumping into the front seat, getting an affronted gasp from Roman.

“Fine but I get the front seat on the way home!” he said, climbing in back.

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yes he does, Remus,” Virgil said. “It’s only fair.”

Remus grumbled in annoyance, but it didn’t last very long, because a second later Roman shut the back door and Virgil started to pull away, and he went right back to grinning again.

“Okay, you got directions Remus?” Virgil asked.

“I’m getting them!” Remus called happily. A second later he’d pulled up directions, and the phone started reading them out to Virgil, who followed them into the rich part of town and pulled up in front of a massive house that immediately made him feel inadequate.

“This is Janus’ house?” he asked in slight bewilderment.

“This is the address he gave me,” Remus said, in a tone of voice that meant he was picking up on the inadequacy feeling too.

“His house is big,” Roman said from the back, confirming all of their feelings.

“Hey, come on, it’s just Janus,” Virgil said. “We know he’s not a super snobby rich kid, and you guys have fun with him. “Go have fun swimming.”

Remus turned to him suddenly. “Wait, you’re not coming too?”

“Uh. Was I invited?”

“Yes! Of course you were! Janus said his parents want to meet his friends!”

“Well, you two are his friends, bud. I only know him through you two.”

“Yeah, but you’re still invited,” Roman said, sounding just as serious. “Janus said so.”

“Oh, I… okay,” Virgil said. “But I didn’t know to bring a swimsuit. And I don’t really feel particularly like swimming.”

“That’s okay,” Remus said, opening the door and climbing out. “Come with us anyway.”

“Please?” Roman asked, leaning forward and giving him big puppy dog eyes.

Well, Virgil couldn’t exactly say no to that. He pulled the keys out of the car and locked it, following Roman and Remus up to the house while Remus pulled out his phone to text Janus that they were here.

It wasn’t long after that Janus pulled the front door open, smiling at them both. “Hi guys,” he said. “I’m glad you could come. If you want snacks before we swim, Martha can make some.”

“Martha?” Roman asked as they all walked in.

“Our cook,” Janus said, gesturing for them to follow him.

Roman turned to stare at Virgil.

“I know bud,” Virgil whispered, patting him on the back as they followed Janus through an enormous entryway. “It’s okay.”

It seemed like it took them ten minutes to get there, but they finally reached the kitchen towards the back of the house. There was a woman in there making something on the stove, who smiled at them as they entered.

“Hello, Janus. Are these your friends that you’ve mentioned?”

“These are them,” Janus said, seeming perfectly at ease as he hopped up on a stool in front of an island. “Martha, this is Remus, and Roman, and their older brother Virgil. Guys, this is Martha.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Virgil said, standing in the back of the room as Roman and Remus both sat down next to Janus.

“It’s nice to meet you too dear,” Martha said. “I understand Janus has taken quite a liking to you all.”

“You’re the first friends I’ve made that aren’t boring rich kids,” Janus said. “Everyone else I know that’s my age is snobby and rude. I hope Mom and Dad like you.” He ended the statement nervously, like he thought it wasn’t likely.

“I’m sure they’re going to,” Martha said lightly. “Besides, I think they’re making a real effort this time.”

“I hope so,” Janus said, before Virgil could try and work out what that meant. “Martha, can we have food?”

“The food is for after you swim, Janus,” Martha said, raising an eyebrow. “You got a cramp last time, remember?”

“It’s not like I drowned,” Janus grumbled, crossing his arms.

“Go have fun with your friends,” Martha said. “Dinner will be here when you get back.”

Janus sighed. “Yeah, okay.” He turned to Roman and Remus. “Indoor or outdoor pool?”

Both of them stared at him. “What?” Remus asked.

“You wanna swim inside or outside?” Janus asked again like it was a perfectly normal question.

“Uh… which do you prefer?” Roman said, thankfully before Remus with his zero filter could say anything about how insane that was.

“I think the inside one is cool,” Janus said. “That’s got our water slide.”

“Then by all means!” Roman said, doing his best to smile normally and doing pretty well by Virgil’s book.

Virgil turned to stare at Martha as they all started off, who raised her hands up with an ‘I know’ look.

They made their way to an absolutely massive pool, especially considering this was a private one, and Janus showed Roman and Remus both to a bathroom inside the pool room where they could change.

“Insane,” Virgil muttered to himself as he sat down on a nearby chair. “This is insane.”

They all got changed pretty quickly, which made sense since they all wanted to swim, meaning that in five minutes they were all in the water, which gave Virgil a chance to check his phone as the three of them had fun.

Like he’d hoped, there was a text from Logan.

Logan: So as I was saying, the decision making center of human’s brains are not functioning at full capacity when scared.

Virgil smiled a little to himself as he replied.

Virgil: Meaning characters in horror movies aren’t idiots?

Logan: Essentially, yes. Do you think you would be functioning at peak capacity if a murderer was chasing you?

Virgil cast his mind back to the drive to Roman and Remus’ school that he’d spent slightly panicking about a nickname.

Virgil: Nope, I’d be dead in two minutes

Virgil: But, here me out

Virgil: If I knew I was in a horror movie, I’d live

Logan: I don’t see how that follows.

Virgil: I’d have genre savviness! I’d be able to recognize the signs!

Logan: You would likely still be panicking, which would again impair your judgment.

Virgil: Okay but consider

Virgil: It would be really funny if it wouldn’t

Logan: That does not follow logically speaking. Humor would have no impact on the situation.

Virgil: You’re failing to pick up on the genre-savviness aspect, Lo

Wait shit dammit, he used the fucking nickname again. He dropped the phone onto the chair and spent the next couple seconds staring at it as Logan typed.

Logan: I think you’re failing to pick up on the fact that genre-savviness would not impact your survival chances.

Virgil let out a breath of relief.

Virgil: Agree to disagree, then

“Virgil!” Remus called.

Virgil glanced up to see Remus standing over by the top of the water slide.

“Permission to go down head first?”

“Absolutely not! You’re going to be looking the direction you’re going!”

“Aww, but Virgil!”

“That slide is too small and that water is too shallow Remus, I don’t want you hitting your head!”

Remus blew a raspberry at him. “You’re no fun!” he yelled, but he still went down the slide feet first.

Virgil watched him to make sure he hit the water safely, but before he could turn back to his phone the sound of a door opening came from behind him.

He turned to see two people walking in, wearing the fanciest clothes Virgil was pretty sure he’d ever seen at a pool.

The woman smiled when she spotted Virgil, and her and the man both started over.

“You must be Virgil then,” she said, holding out her hand, which Virgil shook. “It’s lovely to meet you. I’m Angela, and this is Bernard.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Virgil said, shifting slightly into on guard mode until he at least had time to get a reading on these people. “My little brothers are over in the pool with Janus.”

“I can see that,” Angela said, smiling over at the three of them. “I’m very glad you could make it. Your brothers make Janus very happy, you know.”

Virgil smiled a little. “Janus makes them very happy too.”

“I’m very glad to hear it,” said Bernard. “Please know you’re all welcome any time, and your parents are as well.”

Virgil winced slightly, but covered it as best he could by smiling wider. “I appreciate that,” he said. “But I do warn you, if you give Roman and Remus free access to a pool with a waterslide, they’ll never leave.”

Angela laughed. “I can certainly understand that,” she said. “But as long as they’re not supposed to be at school or something else, they really are welcome.”

Virgil winced again. “Roman has a lot going on when he’s not at school,” he said hesitantly. “He doesn’t really get a ton of free time. But thanks for the offer.”

To his surprise, both Angela and Bernard’s gazes turned concerned. “Does he not get time to play?” Angela asked. “We’ve learned ourselves how important that is recently. Janus told us he was rather stressed from the pressure we’ve been putting on him and we needed to lighten up on things, so that’s what we’ve been trying to do. I wouldn’t want to see Roman as stressed as Janus was.”

Virgil tried to shove down the panic that arose at the question. “Roman’s fine,” he said. “He… he has time to play after school on weekdays, and we all go to the park on Sunday. He’s just got stuff most Saturdays.”

That didn’t seem to calm Angela or Bernard completely, but they let it go for now. Virgil would have been with them if it was up to him, but he couldn’t exactly pull Roman from any activities without his parents permission.

The rest of the conversation was more pleasant, as they watched the three boys playing in the water for about an hour and talked about some things they liked doing with them.

Virgil enjoyed the chance to talk about Remus’ escapades in the park with him, and though Angela and Bernard didn’t seem to quite understand the pigeon-throwing, they knew that Janus liked it too, and seemed to accept it for that reason alone. They did seem to enjoy Roman and Janus’ acting and directing activities, and casually mentioned that they wouldn’t mind taking Roman to Broadway sometime, as if that was a perfectly ordinary thing to offer to do for friends of your son. Virgil had said he’d ask his parents with his best attempt at a smile that didn’t look strained.

Finally, after about an hour, the three boys all came out of the pool wanting food. Virgil was rather hungry himself, since he hadn’t eaten since lunch, but he’d probably wait until he got home to make himself something. He didn’t want to give Martha more work to do.

That didn’t mean the smell of pasta as he walked back into the kitchen wasn’t incredibly tempting.

“Head on into the dining room,” Martha said when she spotted them all. “I’m finishing the lasagna now.”

Virgil turned to look up at Angela and Bernard as they did so. “We don’t have to stay if you don’t want us to,” he said. “I can just go home and make dinner for Roman and Remus there.”

“You’d be making dinner?” Angela asked with a curious look.

“We uh, don’t have a cook,” Virgil said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I meant your parents, sweetheart.”

“Oh, Mom and Dad are on a date night,” Virgil said, trying very hard not to let the panic he felt show.

“Ah, I see. Well there’s absolutely no issue, sweetheart. We were expecting you all would stay. Feel free to eat as much as you’d like.”

Virgil bit his lip, but didn’t say anything.

They all headed into a massive dining room with an enormous table, with far more seats than they’d need. They all sat down at one end, and Roman and Remus were both continuing to talk to Janus as they did so, on three chairs across from where Virgil sat. Angela and Bernard sat in between them, which didn’t exactly make Virgil feel comfortable, but he wasn’t going to say anything.

Martha brought out three plates of lasagna a moment later, and set them down in front of the kids. “I’ll be back with the rest in just a second,” she said, and started back for the kitchen.

But when she returned again, she still had three plates of food, and she set one down in front of Virgil.

“Oh, I’m— I can wait,” Virgil said, trying to wave it away.”

“Nonsense,” Bernard said. “Please, eat until you’re full. You’re here for dinner as well.”

Virgil fidgeted slightly uncomfortably, but after a second, he took a bite of the lasagna. He then promptly had to stop himself from shoveling the rest in his mouth instantly due to how good it was and how hungry he was. They were guests here. They shouldn’t be any more intrusive than they already were.

Remus, however, had no such instincts, and even though Virgil and Roman were fairly polite, he had no qualms about shoving the lasagna in his mouth by the forkful.

“Oh my gosh, this is amazing,” he said, at least not through a mouthful of food. “Is Martha going to get some too?”

“Martha usually makes some for herself and eats in the kitchen,” Angela said. “But that doesn’t sound like it would be a terrible idea. Martha, would you like to come eat with us?”

Martha showed up again a second later, looking rather surprised, but she was holding her own plate, and after a second she walked forward to sit next to Virgil.

“Thank you,” she said as she did so.

“Martha!” Remus called, grinning at her in between bites. “Your food is so good!”

“Why thank you, Remus,” Martha said with a smile. “I’m glad you enjoy it.”

“It is really good,” Virgil said quietly to Martha, who smiled at him too, her gaze warm.

“Thank you,” she said. And after that, things finally started to quiet down, and the rest of the night was more comfortable. Virgil even managed to politely ask if he could go get seconds.

It was around eight that Virgil got a text from his parents saying they were on their way home, but luckily they were going to a nice restaurant across town, meaning they’d have plenty of time to get there as long as they left now.

So Roman and Remus said goodbye to Janus, they all promised to do this again sometime, and then they all climbed back into the car and Virgil drove them all back home.

“That was amazing,” Roman said happily as they drove. “Can we do this every Friday? Oh, can I bring Patton next time?”

“Well, we’d have to ask Mom and Dad bud,” Virgil said, which might as well have been code for ‘probably not.’

Predictably, Roman sighed. “Yeah. Okay.”

“I will ask them,” Virgil said, giving him as reassuring a smile as he could.

“Okay,” Roman said again, not sounding particularly hopeful. Virgil couldn’t blame him.

“Hey,” Virgil said. “At least today was fun, right?”

Roman started smiling again. “It really was,” he agreed, and launched into what he and Janus and Remus had all done, with input from Remus as well.

By the time they all got home, the both of them were at least smiling again.

That would have to be enough.

Chapter Three

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #character thomas sanders #analogical #platonic prinxiety #platonic dukexiety #platonic thvi #tw abuse #tw child neglect #my fic

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adleryoung · 1 year

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"This here plan is gettin too dang convoluted!" Burnside protested, brandishing her machete. "Just send me out to stab somebody. It'll be simple. I can just go out, gut everyone who gets in my way, save the dumb baker femme that you ain't never even laid eyes on nor spoken to so it's a wonder you care about her at all, an drag Didelphis back here for judgement. I'll get it all done in one night. There ain't a lowfolk born that can get the drop on me. The Ixies can bet on it."

"I don't like it," I objected.

"If you're so doggone worried about bein' Seelie, just remember it ain't Unseelie to stab somebody if he deserves it."

"No stabbing!" I insisted.

"Fine, I can slash instead."

"That's a bad idea," I persisted, "for the same reason that nailing headless torsos to trees is a bad idea. It may inspire fear but it also draws attention and will cause mass outrage that will spread and bring all the lowfolk on this island right to these woods, with torches and pitchforks. If it turns out this situation requires assassination, and I really hope it doesn't, it would have to be done cleanly, precisely, and secretly so it cannot be traced back to me or my coven. I do not want my organization associated with sloppy and wasteful mass murder!"

"You sounded almost like Ash for a second there," Burnside grinned as she lowered her machete. "All right, I can wait."

I scowled at Burnside for a moment, then directed my attention to the witches.

"All right, all right," I called. "If everyone could please focus and answer my question: Is Didelphis worth saving?"

"Um, no way," Gretchen declared. "She's trying to get us all killed. She's proven herself to be a mean and selfish old hag that doesn't care about any of us. Throw her under the ant-coach, I say."

"She was a pretty crappy coven leader," Petunia added. "She promised us dark power beyond our wildest dreams, but every meeting we would spend a few minutes looking at the same grimoire, and the rest of the night listening to her rant about baking and how much she hated Oonagh. Letting her get burned by an angry mob is probably karma or something. Nothing of value would be lost."

"I don't really like the idea of anyone being killed," Chloe shrugged, "but saving her would only give her another chance to betray us again."

"I'm disappointed with all of you," Rebecca scowled. "Didelphis must be saved."

"What? Why?" the other witches asked in chorus.

"Didelphis represents what all of us could end up being," Rebecca explained. "Especially me. She was a social outcast who spent so much time wallowing in her darker aspects that she eventually believed that was all there was to her. Think about it! She's actually proud of the fact that she's a hideous, mad crone. If I hadn't met Lord Randall, that's exactly what I would have become. I was on that path, but now I'm on a different one and I can hardly wait to share with you what I've learned. If we all get a chance at a happier life, then Didelphis should too. I volunteer to pose as Didelphis like our lord said. I know her better than the rest of you, because I always arrived for coven meetings early, and stayed late to help her around the house and maybe get more pointers on being a witch. I think I can imitate her mannerisms convincingly enough."

That wasn't good. I didn't want to risk my organization's most valuable member (next to Vernier of course) but it would be a mistake to blurt that out in front of the other witches. Plus, I was 99 percent sure Rebecca was an elf, so telling untruths would be a problem for her. It could damage her emerging magickal ability.

I was just about to say something, when an Ixie buzzed up to me and gave a salute.

"Sire, I have more information. There is in fact a ring-leader whipping the rabbit mob into a frenzy. They call him Parson. As best we can tell, he careth not if Didelphis's story is true. He seemeth to be doing this merely to strengthen his influence in the rabbit village. We have also learned that there will be a jury for the trial. Oonagh is popular enough in the town, they were willing to give her that much. If the rest of the coven cannot be found in two days time, then the trial commenceth without them."

Pretty suspenseful, eh? This seems like a good place to pause. I need to take a short break to moisten my throat. In the meantime, why not be like the Ixies and place bets on the coming sequence of events. How do you think I handled this situation? Did Didelphis survive? Did Oonagh?

Discuss among yourselves while I hunt down a decent bottle of wine.

#furry #adventure #elves #story #plot #cartoon #witches #tboay

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slayingqueenchal · 2 years

Text

Why? | Edmund Pevensie x Reader

Warnings : angst, female pronouns, first person pov, edmunds an asshole, I summed up some of narnia

"Ed, what if we don't.. We don't see each other anymore? " I said.

"We will, we have to" He hugged me. Then we kissed our, might be our last kiss.

"Y/n, Edmund has to go now" Said aslan and i nodded.

I went to my brother Caspian, who was sobbing too.

Then, one by one, they went in, until we cant see them anymore.

Aslan nodded, and the people understand, they all slowly started to go back to their own houses.

After that, without even saying 'I'm going to go' or 'I'm sorry I have to go' to Aslan, I instead ran to my room, and shut the door.

I sobbed, why?

Why did I have to go through this?, was he even real?

I stood up, took everything that is from the Pevensies, and put them in a wooden box.

I took everything, from the drawings I made with Lucy, Susans hair tie, the cloth of Peters clothes when he accidentally hit me with the sword when we all first met, and Edmunds 'confession' letter.

I closed the box, then, I locked it.

I put the key on my table.

I went to the door. But then, the feeling of 'loosing' someone you loved hits hard. From that day on, you and caspian, became.. Somewhat depressed.

After two years, there was less crying, yes, crying maybe once in awhile but, we were stable.

Caspian was in meetings, sometimes too busy to tell me.

"Y/n, pack your things, were going to search for the Lord's" Said caspian

What?

"What? " I said in pure confusion. It was at the middle of the night

"Seriously, Caspian, it's midnight" I said.

"Come onnn, wake up" He said and I got up, and he helped me pack my stuffs.

"Oh yeah, I can pack with my own now, thanks for helping though" I said and he got out.

I walked to mu wardrobe, took a dusty wooden box. I cleaned the dust off. I took the key, tossed them and I closed the bag. I sighed.

I got out, went on the voyage and sat there. The moon was beautiful. It was shining.

But, as I sat there, I started to get sleepy so, I went to my room. It was not as big as my original room back there, but it's nice. There's a window, I can see the sea, reflecting the moons brightness, it was perfect.

I went to the bed, and tried to sleep. And I did, the next morning I woke up early, cause I was starving.

I took some bread and ate it, it was good. I watched the sunrise, it was beautiful too. Though, it reminded me of someone that was more beautiful than the sun or the moon, but he is in the past.

I 𝙐𝙨𝙚𝙙 to love that man, but our relationship was.. Complicated, but that's alright, I've moved on. I should've moved on.

I went to the desk that is in my room, opened my diary.

"Dear diary

It's day 1096 since he last came here, sad, I know

But, life has been good, I'm grateful anyways. After all, I cannot let a man be my whole entire life, can't I?

Life is better now, caspians happier, the kingdoms peaceful. But I always feel like there's.. Emptyness sometimes, couldn't see lucy laughing faces, susans overprotectiveness over Lucy, Peters funny little dance. But all that matters was edmund, the boy I loved.'

I sighed and closed the book. The book cover was brown and there was only a few pages left.

I looked up to the window, its daytime now, and I should probably go up. And so I did. "Lucy? Edmund? " I gasped

"Y/n" Said lucy and she ran and hugged me. "Lucy" I said and hugged her. After we let go, Edmund didn't move a muscle. He was just... There. I tried to not think of it.

Maybe he's just shocked.

we went down to discuss how they might be here.

"We didn't call you" I said

"Okay, so you want us to come back? " Said Edmund. He definitely changed, quite alot.

"No.. I didn't mean it that way.. " I said

"But how did we get here? " Said lucy

"I don't know, maybe we just need help of something we don't even know we need help of. Does that make sense? " I said

"No" Said Edmund, but at the same time Caspian and Lucy said yes.

When did he became, this? Sure he matured but, what?

"Uh, uhm that's alright" I said

Caspian explained why we're in this voyage at the first place but I can't help but overthink why and when Edmund became such an.. An asshole.

They all went out and so did I, though I was just following.

"Lucy, how many years has it been? " I asked

"Oh, only three" Said Lucy

"Oh, thats good, how is peter and susan?" I said

"They're fine, though we have to live with our, pain in the ass cousin, eustace" She sighed

"I don't know, seems like Edmund changed, a lot" I said

"He seems rude, I know, but he tried to move on from the whole 'narnia' thing, just like Susan, but deep down I know he still wants to be here" He said

"Wait, why does susan want to move on from narnia? " I asked, with pure confusion.

"Shes 'maturing' now, all she cares is boys, parties, lipstick, its honestly killing me" She said

"Oh, but what about pete-" I tried to say, but there was people shouting, probably the crew.

Caspian, saw an island, of course we couldn't go there by this big voyage, so we took small boats.

I sat next to edmund. I was quite nervous but, it's as if I didn't even know who he was, anymore.

"Ed, how are you? " I said

"Why do you care? " He said.

"Oh, I was just-" I said, but I paused "never mind"

We docked and we went off. I stood there, next to caspian. We followed caspian, and edmund told his cousin, Eustace, to guard.

As we went in, there was a book, though I didn't read it. There was a sudden,.

BANG!!

A man started to walk in, with Eustace being held.

He screamed, he freaked out.

They took caspian and edmund, and took Lucy, Eustace and I, to another place.

But before that, we witnessed a weird thing. A boat went in into this green fog. Then it disappeared.

I was scared, but then again, I couldn't do anything.

"This pretty little lady.. Who wants to buy her! " Said the man, grabbing Lucy.

Some guy, bought her.

Then, another guy bought eustace.

Then, me.

!!! Writing part 2 !!!

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openly-journaling · 2 years

Text

Tori: Friday October 28 2022

Day isn't even done. Our moods are everywhere and I need to get requests done. Also work work work. And pains. Monthly pains suck. And I have to carry this pain back to work.

Can I just lie down and relax and draw for a bit after taking a nap. Get a little relaxation. Long week really. It's crazy how one bad day A WEEK AGO can fuck you up.

You can't stop thinking about it and it doesn't leave you so you escape in whatever way you can. Indulging in work, art, fantasies or even just retreating to talk with your other headmates.

I know our work is important for our happier future. It's really hard to see right now with the way things are but what we're gaining experience doing WILL pay off.

I just need to keep reminding Bobby of that. I know he's depressed and really shutting down. Beating himself up over little things. He's the host he should be taking care of the body, he should be strong enough to bite back, he should be able to do whatever he thinks he should be able to do.

In his mind things fall apart so easy. I understand that. We're all a little depressed right now and none of us are standing up for ourselves because our boss/foster father... Well we can't just go off on his wife.

He'd probably fire us and not give us another chance at working for him.

But that's the thing I've come to realize. If you go off on people who don't take the blame they won't listen, they'll still disrespect you and even go so far as to cry about it and play victim or make you out to be the enemy.

She's really good at making others out to be the ones at fault no matter what they do/say. She'll always find some lie or excuse to hide in and everyone who knows her knows it's bullshit but nobody says anything ever. And I think one agrees.

The rest try to brush it off and say "she's just trying to protect you" because she and they are Christians who believe we worship Satan or.. something idk. I don't know.

Maybe no action is better. Less stress. Better to simply remove ourselves from her space and leave it at that. I get not everyone realizes they're doing it but we've tried pointing things out and it turns into empty apologies.

That being said it's very clear there's no talking to her. But ignoring her is still an option. She's a toxic suffocating cloud to our existence and we just need to filter her out of the environment. But it's difficult and takes time and a lot of self care.

We'll be okay again soon.

We have a plan. Hopefully we can enjoy working again instead of it feeling like a chore.

-edit-

So our period begins and there's no pain at all at first. Maybe a tiny burning feeling fine all well and dandy. After lunch it escalated to hot flashes, burning, feeling like we were going to vomit if we did not lie down.

Pain meds aren't always effective. Or they take awhile to process. Last month this happened our (second) boss was so understanding and said to update us. After awhile the painkillers FINALLY set in and we went back to work for the next three hours.

We have a huge habit of beating ourselves up for not being available for work on a day we're needed.

We told her this month it was bad and we needed to go home. This month she said "suck it up it's part of being a woman." We aren't USED to these pains. They aren't common for us. We feel a hell of a lot better laying down but if we get up it's going to go poorly.

Our co worker just told us politely to go home and get some rest because she gets it, she understands and sometimes even she's forced to go home for it. If this pain is going to get to be normal for us please give us time to build up a tolerance to it and learn how to manage it like fuck!

Who the hell pissed in your Cheerios this morning, it's ONCE A MONTH for A DAY it's not like I'm asking to go home once a week or for a whole week it's not like our period is so debilitating that we can't come into work frequently.

We already work from the buttcrack of fucking dawn until late when everything closes and you still expect us to get bills paid without interfering with work on a ONE HOUR lunch. Hell no. I'll keep taking my two-hour lunches so I can eat AND get our errands done. I'm still working at least 7 hours on the daily EVERY SINGLE DAY EXCEPT WEEKENDS. leave us alone... Let us rest once in awhile.

Like I get these houses have to get done asap but shit. We're working as fast as we can it's not going anywhere and all we freaking do is paint the whole damn time. Everyone else is getting the important shit done. And they're painting too.

IT'S ONCE A FUCKING MONTH!

#tori writes #open journal

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sylverstorms · 3 years

Text

Cassandra x Maiden----Anonymity

Three months, two days and seven hours.

That is how long you’ve been in Dimitrescu castle for. If rumor is to be believed, you are well on your way to setting the year’s record for longest living maid. Well. ‘Maid’, according to their perception. Your mind always automatically corrects it to something more fitting:

Prisoner.

You did not choose to work for them. You did not choose to be in this godforsaken place, cleaning crimson stains off the floors, trying to convince yourself the wailing that sometimes reaches your ears is simply the wind. You never would have imagined your life’s end like this, serving wine –no, who are you kidding, it’s too crimson for that— to the Dimitrescus at dinner until one of them snaps and drives the nearest blade into your throat.

Probably Daniela.

It’s not unheard of. And stories of other maids’ murders are plenty.

Daniela has bitten one’s throat off for the crime of addressing her wrongly. Cassandra has left increasingly deep gashes, some of which resulted in deaths, for random offenses, like staring at her for too long. Bela, arguably the more merciful of the three, has snapped necks only when the staff disrespected her sisters’ names, or her mother’s.

You aren’t sure if you want to thank the older maids for this information or yell at them for the nightmares it has caused you. You are lucky to not be in the village, they say –everyone there must already be dead. You are even luckier to have been taken from the dungeon by the Lady herself. It means the daughters don’t know you and the castle is big enough that they may never spare you a glance.

You hadn’t believed it, at first.

Yet in the three months of your stay, you have never come across anyone other than Bela in the sections you were assigned to clean and polish. She passed you by the hallway like she did the decorations and the furniture –and you couldn’t be happier about it. You have caught scarce glimpses of Alcina Dimitrescu, too. Never the other two residents.

Not until the fateful day another maid disappears and the staff’s assigned posts change. You have no say in it and no power to object.

May as well keep my head down and continue to work as carefully as I have. That is the idea. Not to look too much, or think too much, or feel too much. Avoid mistakes because those in the castle are fatal.

It is a little difficult to remain utterly calm when the sound of swarming insects comes from far behind you, though.

Your blood starts to kick in your veins. Your heart wants to jump out of your chest and make a run for it. You lock your muscles down and summon all the willpower you possess to stay focused on your task.

Please be Bela, please, please, be Bela—

The buzzing dies down. Steps approach you in the otherwise silent hallway. They are too light to be Bela’s. You’re probably screwed, you think, but you keep cleaning the surface in front of you until it’s practically a mirror with how it shines.

The steps halt too close to you for comfort. Out of the corner of your eye, you realize they’ve left bloody imprints on the floor you’ve been polishing for hours now. Dainty, pale fingers are wrapped loosely, almost lazily, around a sickle dripping crimson.

“Never seen you around, before.” the sound of her voice makes you freeze.

You stop and turn— to face none other than Cassandra Dimitrescu. Her hood is down, brunette waves on point, the dried blood at her chin a terrible contrast to her otherwise attractive face. You… didn’t know she was that pretty, up close.

“I… I have been here for three months. On the opposite wing.” you say. Was I even supposed to reply? You’ll find out soon enough, if your tongue is still attached to your body.

Her eyes give you a quick once-over. “Bela’s been keeping you a secret, huh.” she tsks. Her free hand goes to the handle of the door next to you… and only then do you realize it must be her bedroom. You’re literally assigned to clean the wolf’s den. “Come wake me up when the sun has set, completely.” she emphasizes.

What.

“Uh—”

The crimson-dyed sickle moves until its blade rests underneath your chin, lifting it so your eyes meet hers. From this angle, under the pale lighting of dawn, they look more –stunning— blue than inhuman gold. “No loud sounds. No lights. Got it?”

How can you not, when your life depends on it?

“Yes, my lady.” you reply. You don’t even dare draw breath.

“Good.” In one swift movement, the sickle is gone, the handle turned and she’s already shedding her robe.

You catch a glimpse of a black corset and a narrow waist before you avert your eyes.

The door shuts.

...

Waking Cassandra up can be… tricky, the other maids tell you.

She detests light when she opens her eyes but she also doesn’t want it to be pitch black. You’re not supposed to talk but you can’t shake her, either. Which brings you to the very logical question:

“What the hell am I supposed to do, then?”

To which they have no answer.

They have no answer, you realize with a start… because there’s nobody alive to tell the tale of how to actually wake the brunette sleeping beauty up without simultaneously signing their own death sentence.

The hours pass both too slow and too fast. The sun sets over the horizon.

And you stand, riddled with nerves, outside Cassandra’s room.

A deep inhale later, you turn the handle. The door is left half-open so a bit of light comes in from the hallway. Her bedroom smells like shampoo, bath salts and spices. She must have taken a shower before she went to sleep. You approach the figure tucked under the silken sheets of the queen-sized bed…

Cassandra is lying on her side, one hand underneath her pillow, the other extended loosely towards the edge of the mattress. She probably sleeps naked, at least from the waist up, but thankfully the covers are wrapped around her chest. Their royal red color makes a stark contrast against the paleness of her skin.

Her face is so… serene.

She is a monster and a sadistic killer, yet right there you can’t deny she looks more like a renaissance painting.

Now onto the hard part.

“My lady… the sun has set.” you whisper, kneeled on the floor beside her. No movement comes. “Hey… I’m here to wake you up?” you try again. Still nothing. Shakily, you bring your hand up to the bed. Not daring to touch her, you leave it beside hers, over the covers. “Cassandra?”

She turns her face deeper into her pillow –no, no, you don’t think it’s cute, what’s wrong with you— but at least she’s finally reacting. You call her name one more time.

Her nose scrunches up a little. Long fingers flex –and they touch yours. She’s cold. A pair of blueish ambers blink open to regard you. Not with malice, or with annoyance.

“Good evening.” you speak, unsure of what else to say.

A smirk slowly curves her lips. She looks like a lazy cat pondering whether or not it’s worth it to pounce and that’s not good. It’s not good, not ‘hot’ like your mind suggests. God, you’ve been in this castle so long you are starting to get messed up.

“Mm, breakfast in bed.” she grins and licks her lower lip sexily. Your eyes fly wide open, but her hand is already gripping the front of your black shirt, trapping you there.

How could you ever find this psycho attractive?! you get mad at yourself. Is she hot now that she’s going to kill you?

But Cassandra only lets out an airy laugh and releases you. You fall backwards on your behind. “Breathe, darling, I’m joking.” She rolls onto her back and seems to wince from it. Her smile vanishes.

“…does… your back hurt?” you ask when you finally find your voice again.

“Ugh, a Lycan landed a hit on me. He’s pieces now, of course, but my muscles still pull.” she says it casually, like it’s a thing that happens.

Silence falls over the room. You take it as your cue to leave. You stand and bow while she’s looking blankly at the ceiling—

But she stops you.

“Wait. Come here.” you don’t like it when she gets that tone, like she came up with something she cannot wait to try. You’re already close to the bed, you’re not sure what she means. Until she pats the spot right next to her. “Don’t make me say it again.”

You won’t. You know what’s good for you.

Hesitantly, you take a seat on the –admittedly very comfortable— mattress. “Yes, lady?”

“Give me a massage.” she says like it’s your job, like she’s the rich woman in a spa and it’s what’s expected. She turns onto her front, bearing her naked back to you and you have less than five seconds to come to terms with the thought of straddling her.

Carefully, you bring your knees on either side of her thighs and pull the sheets so they rest low at her waist. You feel warmer than you should given the temperature of the castle. If she knows the fine teasing line she’s walking, she is loving every inch of it.

Cassandra loves being the center of attention and she loves being pampered, you realize.

It’s probably amusing to her to make you fluster, but this is also an opportunity for you to get on her good graces. She is a dangerous one and it’ll be a great asset for your survival if she’s leaning favorably towards you. Win-win situation. You just have to be good at your job. Like always.

By some miracle of God, you do know how to work the tension out of muscles.

The first time you touch her, you simply rest your hands on her back to warm it. She doesn’t seem to object, from the way lean muscle stretches out under your fingers. Cassandra feels cool, but not hard like marble. Her skin yields under your touch, soft and smooth.

As you apply more pressure to your stokes, she starts to let out little sighs that you have to mute in your mind before they start to affect you. You’ve been high-strung and without sex for too long. Your body all too eagerly intercepts this death-trap as foreplay.

Minutes roll by.

You alternate between all the methods you know. The one that really seems to get her is when you drive your thumb into the knots and end with a little circle.

Cassandra is –God help you— openly moaning every time you press more. It is a bit too much pressure you’re applying though and you don’t know if you’re hurting her and she’s just into it.

“Is this too much…?” you ask. Fuck, why do you sound so breathless?

“No, it’s good.” she husks back.

“Harder?” You don’t know what innocent means, anymore.

Cassandra sends that little smirk again over her shoulder. “Harder.” she replies and the extra flair she puts into it is enough to nearly fry your brain. And other parts of you.

You’re pretty sure you need a cold shower by the time you leave her room.

...

At diner, you hang back in the shadows, gaze downcast.

You do not need to know what the Dimitrescu family is eating, nor what they’re drinking. You do not need to see Cassandra or risk catching Daniela’s gaze. You love your anonymity in the castle. It has kept you alive.

But it is shattered like frail glass when you bring another bottle of Sanguis Virginis to the table. You’ve almost retreated back to your place, when Daniela’s eyes zero in on you.

“She’s the human!” she exclaims like she’s made the world’s most startling discovery. Bela seems to understand, but the Lady and Cassandra frown over their glasses.

“I am almost afraid to ask, love.” Lady Alcina says…

And she’s right.

“The one who made Cassandra go ‘harder’ and ‘yes, yes!’ earlier this evening.” she impersonates in her sluttiest voice and then breaks into a fit of cackles. Bela’s lip twists into a withheld chuckle.

Lady Dimitrescu nearly chokes on her wine.

Cassandra slaps the back of Daniela’s head. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Girls.” Alcina warns and glares until the table calms again.

Then, her eyes curiously fall upon you.

So much for your anonymity.

Ko-Fi

#Cassandra Dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu's daughters #cassandra x oc #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #fanfiction #cass kills with her hair and nails on point she's the murder-princess type #you can't change my mind #I love her

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cruciology · 3 years

Text

Under the Table

Requested by anon: Ok i don’t know if this is too smutty but could I request a sandor x reader where they’re at a tavern or something and reader starts touching him under the table. No one notices but he has to stay serious and tries his best to hide it and as soon as they’re both alone she’s getting her reward.

a sequel to my fic, The Princess and the Dog

The chilly air of Winterfell gave you constant goosebumps. You supposed it was better than being on the King’s Road as you had been for a month, but you were still cold, even with the new fur cloak you had been gifted by your father. You had a feeling it meant he had bad news for you, he just hadn’t told you yet.

You wrapped the cloak tighter around your nightdress as you stepped out of your room and into the hall. Your little sister slept like the dead in the room next to yours. It was only your first night in Winterfell, but you had taken notice of where the guards were placed. It was easy enough to avoid them as you sneaked to the end of the hall, passed where Joffrey and Tommen slept, and rapped on the Hound’s door. After a moment, it cracked open just the slightest bit. When he saw it was you, the Hound quickly pulled you in before anyone could see.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He growled, shutting the door as quietly as he could. He had been in bed and wore only his pants, his hairy chest bare.

“I didn’t get caught, it’s alright,” you insisted. You were hoping he would be happier to see you. On the road, you were constantly surrounded by guards or your family. Besides a few squeezes of your hand in passing, you hadn’t felt his touch since you left the capitol. Your mother had kept her promise and hadn’t said anything after she had caught you with him in the library, but she kept a closer eye on you now. “I missed you,” you said softly.

His mouth was a hard line as he looked at you. Finally, he placed his hands on your hips, drawing you close to him. You pressed your face into his chest, almost crying at having him close again after all this time.

“It was stupid,” he said as he held you. You laughed.

“Don’t worry, I know you missed me too,” you said. He sat down on the wooden chair that stood by his window, pulling you by the hand until you sat on his lap. The cloak fell to the floor but you were warm enough when he wrapped his arms around you, his rough hands sliding over the silk of your nightdress.

Finally, you were able to press your lips to his. You kissed him gently first, as a lady should, but then you needed to show him just how much you missed him. Heat pooled between your thighs as you threaded your fingers through his hair, kissing him hungrily. He growled low in his throat as he kissed you back. His hand went under the hem of your nightdress, up your thigh, and you gasped softly as his finger entered you. You hadn’t even had enough space in the last month to touch yourself and his touch felt like magic as he stroked you from the inside.

He kissed your cheek, your jaw, then your neck, sending a chill down your spine that had nothing to do with the cold. “How does that feel, Princess?” He asked against the shell of your ear.

“So good,” You muttered back, eyes closed.

You felt him start to remove his hand and squeezed your thighs tight in an attempt to keep him going. He laughed slightly as he brought his hand to his face. He licked you off of his fingers, groaning softly and sending another surge of heat through your body.

He kissed you roughly, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. “You taste so fucking good,” He said against your mouth. He gathered you up in his arms with ease, moving to take you to the bed.

Someone pounded on the door with a heavy hand. In an instant, you were on the bed, the Hound quickly covering you with the thick blanket. Your heart pounded in your chest as you listened to the Hound open the door once again. It nearly froze when you heard your father’s voice in the hall.

“Didn’t wake you, did I, Clegane?” He laughed. He was drunk, it was clear from his slurred words. The welcome feast ended hours ago. He must have stayed up drinking with his old friends.

“Wasn’t sleeping, Your Grace,” The Hound spoke to your father with your taste still on his lips. “What can I do for you?”

“Put some clothes on, Hound, we’re going on a hunt,” The King said. You could hear him clap the Hound on the shoulder roughly.

“It’s well past midnight, Your Grace,” The Hound informed him.

“What are you, my wife?” Your father said. “I am your king!”

“Why don’t you retire to your chambers, I’ll get you more wine,” The Hound suggested. He knew your father well. He wouldn’t say no to more alcohol.

“Wine and a girl,” The King laughed. Your lip curled in disgust, but if it got him away from the Hound’s room without him seeing you in the bed, you didn’t care what your father did.

“Wine and a girl,” the Hound confirmed.

“Get one for yourself while you’re at it.” You heard your father stumble away. For a brief moment you wondered if you should worry about him, but there were dozens of other guards along the way who would help him back up to his room. He would most likely be asleep before the Hound could find him again.

You felt the blanket fly off of you as soon as the door was closed. “Go back to your room,” The Hound instructed. “Now.”

You stood up, not even coming to his shoulder. You reached up, touching the burnt side of his face, letting your fingers memorize the scar. His eyes closed just briefly. He put his hand over yours. You stood on your toes, kissing him gently before sneaking out again.

---

You never really drank. But after the news you had gotten, you decided now was as good a time as any. Your body wasn’t quite used to it, only having previously had a few sips here and there. As the residents of Winterfell were once again crammed into the dining hall, you nursed your third glass, feeling the warmth spread in your chest. Everyone was pleasantly drunk around you, save for the severe Ned Stark and his lady wife, so you didn’t feel left out despite sitting off on your own at a table near the exit.

You stared at the table where your newly announced betrothed sat. Robb Stark was handsome, strong, and kind. He had lands and a title. You would be the Lady of Winterfell. You had known this was coming, but it didn’t mean you had to like it. Your mother didn’t even try to hide the smug look on her face when your father broke the news to you earlier. You suspected it was directed at your guard who had been in the room as well, something you were sure she had planned. Your mother would get what she wanted after all.

“Princess,” You heard from behind you. Your heart lifted instantly.

“Sit,” You insisted, patting the seat next to you. The Hound’s eyes scanned the room and you rolled yours. “It’s not unheard of. You’re supposed to be guarding me, you can guard me from down here.”

“You’re drunk,” He noted as he sat next to you. You felt the bench creek under his large body. You wished that you were alone so he could pull you into his lap. You were so tired of not even being able to hold his hand.

“I might be,” you said.

“You are.” He grabbed a pint for himself, taking it halfway down with one solid gulp. “Celebrating your engagement, Princess?”

“Stop it,” you said with a tight jaw. “You know I’d rather-,”

“Be quiet about that,” The Hound said, his eyes darting around the room once again. A few eyes were on you, but they were passing glances, folks wondering why the Princess was off alone, but you knew they were not going to question your choice of company.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “But you can’t be upset with me, I can’t take that along with everything else. It’s not my fault.”

The Hound made a noise half way between a grunt and a sigh, but still didn’t look at you. “I know,” he said.

Your hand found his knee comfortingly under the table. It was probably the wine in your stomach that made you unafraid of any consequences. You were surprised he didn’t pull away, but he let you leave your hand there. You were feeling sad and stupid. You moved your hand up further, touching the inside of his thigh. The growl from his throat didn’t stop you. So long without touching him for fear of being caught and here you were now with your hand in his lap when the dining hall was full of eyes.

“Princess,” he said through clenched teeth. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He was trying not to draw attention. Just drunk enough not to care, you moved your hand even further. His breath came out as a hiss as you palmed the growing bulge in his pants. His massive hand clamped around your wrist.

“No one is even looking,” you said, not really caring if they were.

“Are you trying to lose me my head?” He asked. You noticed that he hadn’t moved your hand away from him. You squeezed him, making him groan. “Fucking hells,” he muttered, placing both hands on the table. He wasn’t going to stop you.

You made sure you weren’t looking directly at him as you stroked your hand up and down his length through his pants. You watched his hand on the table clench into a fist as he tried to keep a straight face. “It’s a lovely feast, isn’t it?” You asked, a wicked smirk playing at your lips. He merely grunted. The wine and the thrill of touching him once again made you forget for a moment the pressure you had felt since the news of your engagement.

“But I do think I have had a bit too much to drink,” You said, loudly enough for anyone at the tables near you to hear. Luckily, they were drunker than you. “Walk me back to my room, please.”

The Hound rose first, helping you balance yourself. You really did have a bit too much to drink. He let you go as soon as he thought you would be able to stand. You looked over your shoulder for just a moment, catching a glance at your mother. She sipped her wine next to your father, who was probably the drunkest one in the room. No one would say anything to the King about his drinking. Your mother caught your look but said nothing. She knew who your father would believe if you went to him with what you knew.

The Hound walked a few steps behind you as you walked out of the hall. The voices from the dining hall carried out into the corridor. As soon as you turned the corner, far enough away from the crowd, his hands were on you. You giggled drunkenly as he scooped you up.

“You’re going to get me in trouble, Princess,” he said into your neck, placing a sloppy kiss on the column of your throat. He shouldered the nearest door open. You should have been more worried about getting caught but the only thoughts swimming through the alcohol in your brain were about the Hound’s mouth.

The room was empty and almost pitch black, the only light coming from the full moon outside. The Hound sat you down on the plush loveseat pushed against the wall. You grabbed his belt, attempting to pull him towards you and finish what you had started in the dining hall but it appeared he had other plans. He pushed your hand away.

“Your turn, Princess.”

He lowered himself to his knees in front of you, giving you a breathless kiss, his massive hand cupping your cheek. Leaving your head spinning, he pulled away. He shoved your skirt up, gathering it at your thighs. He pulled you down to the edge of the seat, spreading your legs before him. He placed your legs over his broad shoulders, the metal of his armor cool on your flushed skin. From the wine or from him, you couldn’t be entirely sure.

He bit the inside of your thigh, placing a kiss over it just as quickly. You were just about to tell him not to tease you when you felt his tongue at your apex. Your hands went to his hair, your head going back against the love seat. It had been so long since he could have you like this, he lapped at your pussy hungrily, his fingers digging into your thighs in a way you knew would leave a bruise. That made it even sweeter.

“Sandor, please,” You begged, tugging at his hair, trying to pull him up to kiss you again. You weren’t sure how much time you had with him and you wanted to feel all of him before you had to part. Normally, he would tell you he was going to take his bloody time, but he was probably thinking the same as you.

The Hound wrapped his arm around your waist, moving you to lay with your head on the armrest of the loveseat, his body looming over you. He was always afraid to put his whole weight on you, but you liked feeling his presence. You helped him pull himself out of his pants and with one quick thrust, he was fully seated inside of you. He paused for a moment, his face in the crook of your neck. You guided his face back to yours, kissing him. You wrapped your legs around him, making sure he was as close as he could be to you. He rutted into you, each thrust punctuated with a grunt. He kissed your neck, your cheek, your collarbone, your mouth, any bit of you he could. His thumb found its way to your clit, finishing what his tongue had started. Your legs squeezed him tighter. You tried to stay quiet, but his free hand still went over your mouth, muffling the cry as you came, your legs tight around him.

He took his hand from your mouth, placing it on the loveseat next to you to brace himself. His other hand moved to the small of your back, pushing you closer to him as he fucked you. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him in to whisper in his ear, “Cum in me.”

The hand on your back moved to your outer thigh, squeezing tight as he shuddered, finishing into you with a final grunt. He hid his face in your neck, his hot breath sending a shiver down your spine.

“Stupid, that was stupid,” The Hound muttered into your skin.

You pulled his face towards you, making sure his eyes met yours. “I love you,” you said firmly. His eyes darted away again. You had said it only once before to him. He never said it back, it wasn’t his way.

Instead, he kissed you and responded, “Aye.”

#I am so sorry I haven't posted in 5ever #I had a lot going on but here y'all go #the hound #the hound fanfiction #game of thrones #game of thrones fanfiction #smut #fanfiction #sandor clegane #sandor clegane x reader #the hound x reader #sandor clegane fanfiction

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

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If I Fell For You (Part 3) - A Moment

Summary: Jensen is away from home for a few days but isn’t having the easiest time being away from the kids for the first time since the accident. When he returns home, he has a gala to attend on Saturday night but a kiss on the cheek and slip of the tongue will snowball into the reader and Jensen sharing a moment...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 6,100ish

Warnings: language, death of a spouse, death of a parent, anxiety, self-worth problems, referenced past harassment

A/N: I love this part so much for so many reasons. Please enjoy!

________

“Hi Jensen,” you asked Monday night when your phone rang. “How was your flight earlier?”

“Same old same old. I just got out of work,” he said with a yawn. “Gonna grab a bite out with a friend. Kids eat dinner okay?”

“We had honey sriracha glazed salmon with brussel sprouts and roasted red potatoes.”

“Really?”

“They had kraft mac and cheese and I had Taco Bell.”

“See this is why I like you,” he chuckled.

“I’ll try the salmon again tomorrow. I was gonna make it but they didn’t have any at the store,” you said, opening the fridge and taking out a pint of ice cream. “Hey can I have what’s left of this mint ice cream?”

“Sure. Pick some more up for me sometime before friday please,” he said. “Also, Taco Bell? You do realize we live in freaking Austin right. There are literally hundreds of places you can go that have better mexican food.”

“Yeah but fake cheese tastes good,” you said. He laughed and your stomach rumbled. “I so should have gotten more than two tacos.”

“You in the kitchen?” he asked. You hummed and you heard him let out an oof in the background.

“Yeah. You alright?”

“This bed in my hotel room is comfy,” he said. “But I was starting to say, go in the drawer at the end of the counter by the table. There’s only five hundred gajillion take out menus in there. Order a treat for yourself. It’s on me.”

“Jensen. I can get my own dinner.”

“True but you’re on call 24/7 until I get back.”

“Well in that case I bet you got a menu for a fancy steakhouse in here somewhere,” you teased as you picked up one for a tex mex looking restaurant. “Does this place really have quesadillas this big?”

“You must be looking at the menu on top. I almost ordered from there last week actually. The food’s great. They do delivery too. Just buzz the guy into the gate when they get there.”

“Any recommendations?” you asked, taking out the menu and flipping it over.

“Quesadillas are good. Loaded nachos are amazing. I’ve literally never had a bad thing from there,” he said. “To be honest I’d rather be getting that than where I’m going tonight.”

“Why’s that?” you asked, reading through your options, surprised to find such good prices.

“I have to wear a suit,” he said with a sigh. “After being poked and prodded all day I literally would rather just eat crap and watch food network.”

“How long have you known this friend of yours?” you asked.

“Twenty years, why?”

“Then you guys knew each other when you were young. It’s not too late out there. Call him, see if he’d rather get some crap food, a six pack and just catch up on his couch or in your room. I’m pretty sure he’s more looking forward to seeing an old friend again than the food,” you said.

“You make very good points. I should pay you more,” he said.

“You pay me plenty and barely let me spend a dime of my money on myself,” you said. “I don’t need more.”

“You got that fancy computer though.”

“You literally have the exact same mac in your office.”

“You moved in like three boxes and two computers,” he said.

“An ipad is not a computer,” you said.

“Debatable.”

“Well I like to draw sometimes and it’s easier on an ipad when you’re laying in bed,” you said.

“Are you any good?” he asked.

“No.”

“I bet they’re really good,” he said as you rolled your eyes. “I see you draw with the kids sometimes and those are good.”

“It’s a hobby is all,” you said, leaning back against the counter, your stomach grumbling again. “Anything else you want me to grab at the store? I’m going to hit it tomorrow while everyone’s at school.”

“Nah. Get the usual stuff,” he said. “The kiddos in bed?”

“Yeah, got the last one down about fifteen minutes ago,” you said. He hummed and you heard the sigh in it. “I got a video of them playing earlier I’ll send you.”

“Thanks. It’s my first night away from them in a long time. Normally I’m able to come back same day. I was kinda hoping they’d still be awake to say goodnight.”

“They’re safe and sound dad. We’ll call again after school tomorrow to talk like today,” you said.

“Yeah,” he breathed out. He was quiet and you pulled the phone away, taking a deep breath.

“You okay?”

“I haven’t been alone like this in a really long time.”

“I know. You check out your backpack yet?”

“No. Why?”

“You didn’t bring a jacket with you so I put that yellow hoodie that’s always on the hook in there in case you got cold.”

“That was Dee’s hoodie.”

“I was pretty sure it was,” you said. You heard him shuffle around briefly before he hummed, much happier that time. “I thought you might like to have a piece of...something-”

“I really don’t pay you enough,” he said quietly. “Thanks for putting this in there. I need something from home more than I realized.”

“Well put it on, call up your buddy and have some fun tonight, Ackles. Nanny’s orders.” He laughed and you felt that twinge in your stomach again, your eyes quickly closing.

“I will. Hey you mind if I call again tomorrow night? I don’t have any plans and sitting in a hotel room by myself isn’t very fun.” You smiled and felt heat in your cheeks, quickly thinking it away. He wanted company for a few minutes was all and you were friends. It was completely normal to talk with friends on the phone everyday.

“Of course. As long as you get a dinner in at some point that’s more than fine with me,” you said. “We can talk about The Bachelor!”

“Oh God no,” he groaned, chuckling after a few seconds. “I’ll settle for Grey’s Anatomy.”

“This Is Us?” you asked.

“Supernatural?”

“I haven’t watched that yet. I’m working up to it,” you said.

“Work faster woman. I only know legit everything about that one,” he chuckled. “But probably not a good idea to watch that one until I get back and you're not alone. First episode is kinda scary.”

“Oh well thanks for that,” you said, watching the clock tick by, knowing it had to be almost seven out there. “I’ll let you go. Have fun tonight Jensen.”

“I will Y/N. Promise.”

Friday Night

“Arrow,” you said after she’d flung her pasta bowl all over herself, covering her hair and face. She sniffled and you forced a smile. “Okay. How about a bath after dinner?”

Fifteen minutes later JJ and Zeppelin were in the movie room watching a cartoon while you had Arrow in the kids bathroom, scooping up some water over her head in the tub.

“Well hello ladies,” you heard behind you. You jumped and spun around, glaring for a moment before you recognized Jensen.

“Just me,” he said, backpack still on his shoulders.

“Daddy I got ziti all over my head,” she said.

“You did?” he asked, dropping his bag and taking off his jacket, kneeling down next to you. You got the last bit of sauce off and squirted some shampoo in her hair, Jensen watching you with a smile. “How was your day?”

She told him all about breakfast and daycare, playing with a few toy boats with him while you rinsed out the soap. You did a bit of conditioner before getting it out as well and putting the spray nozzle back.

“I got the rest if you wanna get the dryer ready?” he asked you, reaching for the soap. You swapped spots with him, Jensen washing her up while she kept talking about her day. By the time he was all done you had the dryer out and plugged in, Jensen picking her up and wrapping her up in a big bundle of towels before he set her on the counter. You went to work drying her hair, Jensen draining the tub and finding some pajamas for her.

“Do you want your hair up or down, sweetie?” you asked. She tried gathering it up and you grabbed her soft scrunchie perfectly fine for sleeping in from the counter. You put her hair up in a soft little bun, Jensen making an adorable sound when he returned.

“Aw, you look so cute, baby. I’ll be right there alright?” he said. She hopped off the counter and got dressed, rushing off downstairs when she was all done. “Survive the day?”

“Somehow we always do,” you said, gathering up the towels. “Kids are in the movie room.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna shower but we’re all good for the night,” he said. “Thanks for watching them this week.”

“You gotta go do your job,” you said. “You working on a movie or something? You never said.”

“Uh gonna be in a show called The Boys,” he said. “I’m gonna be one of the superheroes so I gotta go out and get my suit made all special for me every so often.”

“You’re gonna be a supe! That’s so fucking cool!” you said. He grinned and you blushed, shaking your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so not appropriate.”

“I don’t see any little ears around,” he chuckled. “You like the show then?”

“Yeah. It’s great. Like no other show consistently makes me go what the fuck did I just see. That’s so cool you get to be a supe though. Are you a one off or like a main character?”

“I’ll be very present in the next season. Gonna deal with the seven, all that,” he said. “I’m gonna be Solider Boy.”

“I can see that. You have that all American boy thing about you.”

“It’s my adorable face,” he teased.

“Well remember to not stay up too late. You have the gala tomorrow night remember?”

“Yes mom,” he said as you walked out. “Get the kids some takeout for dinner tomorrow and yourself.”

“Sounds good boss,” you said. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

The Next Night

You froze from where you were mixing up some brownie batter with JJ at the kitchen counter as Jensen popped downstairs. He was in a gorgeous black suit, a maroon pocket square and no tie going on, his hair scruffier looking than normal.

He started to laugh and you realized you were staring, your cheeks feeling hot as you went back to stirring.

“Mmm, you guys save me a brownie or two for when I get home?” he asked, leaning over and dipping his finger in the bowl of cream cheese frosting.

“We’ll spare one for dad,” you said, Jensen going back for seconds. “Ah, ah. No.”

He dipped his finger in and got another fingerful, kissing the top of JJ’s head and the twins at the counter.

“Be good for Y/N guys!” he called as he rushed out.

You whistled and he jogged back, catching you holding up his phone from the counter.

“Thank you,” he said, taking it and pecking a kiss on your cheek. You looked up at him and he froze. “I am so sorry. I…”

“It’s okay. Go have fun and be all charitable,” you said. He shoved his phone in his pocket and ran out, JJ scratching her head.

“Dad’s kinda weird sometimes,” she said.

“Yeah, he is. But so is everybody,” you said. “Let’s get this in the oven so you guys can pick out colors for your frosting, hm?”

“I really shouldn’t. But I really should,” you said to yourself, plopping your second brownie of the night in a bowl and sticking a scoop of ice cream on top. You carried it over to the couch and lay back, watching TV on the big screen as you heard the door open. Jensen came into view a minute later, taking his jacket off and groaning as he washed up at the sink. He went to the tray of brownies on the counter and picked one up with a big sigh. “Fun night?”

He jumped and whacked his head against the cabinet above, hissing before he spun around.

“You okay?” you asked. He nodded and left the brownie behind, pushing his sleeves up before taking a seat on the other end of the lounger.

“Y/N I’m really sorry about the kiss on the cheek. That was so inappropriate. You’ve kinda implied that there was some stuff that’s happened to you at other jobs you found over the line and I’m really truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t...I forgot you’re my employee for a moment. I really am sorry.”

“Jensen if I had a problem with it or you or your behavior I would quit on the spot. I don’t let myself get pushed around anymore. You were happy and busy and you pecked a kiss on my cheek, not reach a hand down my pants. It’s really okay. You’re way too hard on yourself.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Positive. It’s barely ten which means you left as soon as you could. You’re supposed to be out having fun,” you said.

“I was kinda freaking out that you hated me,” he said.

“Dude you gotta relax,” you said. “Have a brownie and some ice cream.”

He got up and after a minute took a seat at the other end with a bowl of his own, smiling as he got a taste.

“This is fucking awesome,” he said.

“I know,” you said, Jensen smirking. “Do you feel better now silly boy? I promise that if you ever do anything I find inappropriate I will promptly kick you in the balls.”

“I can agree to that,” he said. He ate for a moment, watching the TV and laying back. “Do you ever like, want to go do things with your friends on a Saturday night? If you do that’s totally cool. These aren’t normal hours anyways.”

“Being a nanny eats up a lot of your social life,” you said. “Kinda got kicked out of my friend group after I broke up with my ex anyways.”

“Well they sound like they suck,” he said.

“Yes, they do,” you said. “I don’t mind so much. I meet plenty of new people through work. Only person you can depend on is yourself and I don’t tend to let myself down.”

“That’s a very lonely way to go through life,” he said.

“It’s not easy to make friends in your thirties,” you said. “Maybe for someone like you who travels and meets new people a lot and stuff but you have like, real friendships. You know?”

“Well we have a real friendship, don’t we? You’re friends with Jared and Rob and Ruthie and Rich,” he said. “I don’t trust just anybody with my kids. That’s real.”

“Yeah,” you said, taking a bite. “So when’s your friend free?”

“Hm?”

“Blind date guy. Maybe he could be a friend if things work out,” you said.

“Oh yeah. He uh, he actually got a gig up in Canada so you might need to wait like a month or so. But he’s excited to meet you,” said Jensen.

“Can I have his number?” you asked. “Or do you think that’d be weird?”

“No, not weird. I think he just kinda wants to do it old school if that’s okay. Meet you first and go from there.”

“This friend of yours better be like super hot,” you said.

“If it’s a problem-“

“I can respect him wanting to do things like that. But I’m gonna want a firm date soon,” you said.

“I’ll make sure to get you one,” he said. “I’ll get it down tomorrow, promise.”

“He better not mind me eating like this either. I ain’t a salad on the first date kinda girl. He’s gonna need to keep up with my eating while were at it,” you said. He snorted in his seat beside you and ran his hand over his face.

“I will keep that in mind. I have occasionally had dessert first truth be told,” he said.

“This is why I like you Ackles. You get my sweet tooth,” you laughed.

“It’s a good thing your dinners are healthy cause I swear I haven’t consumed this many baked goods in months,” he said. “The kids love it and my stomach loves it though.”

“I’m gonna need to start working out though if I keep this up. Oh hey is it okay if I do laps in the pool in the mornings? I’ll be super quiet and stuff.”

“You don’t gotta ask,” he smiled. “Like I said when you started, you got free reign to use the pool, the gym, whatever, aside from my room. You a swimmer?”

“Not really but I hate running and supposedly it’s a good workout or something,” you shrugged, eating another bite of brownie.

“Anything in the gym you’re free to use. I know you must get a little bored sometimes when I’m gone and the kids are,” he said.

“Not bored per say. Ordinarily I would do more chores but you have like a cleaner and a landscaper and you just...give me more time in the day than I’m used to is all. It’s actually great though. It gives me plenty of time to come up with ideas for the kids and stuff.”

“Well as long as you’re taking breaks and your lunch do as you please,” he said, his spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl.

“Now that’s just sad.”

“I really should get another one of these,” he said, sucking the spoon.

“It’s really the only choice you have,” you said. He laughed as he hopped up, skirting back into the kitchen and fixing up another brownie and ice cream combo.

“Hey you want more, Dee?” he asked. You popped your head up and he spun around. “I’m-“

“Don't apologize, Jensen,” you said. He tapped his fingers against the counter and took a deep breath, putting his back to you.

“That’s the second time tonight I’ve done that,” he said.

“Jensen. There’s nothing wrong with missing your wife.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“You don’t...talk about her much.”

“It was...she wasn’t…” he trailed off. He sat down on a barstool and you got up, walking over and hopping up on the counter beside him. You set your feet in the stool next to his and paused before you put a hand on top of his head and ran your fingers through the short strands. “This shouldn’t have happened to her.”

“Death is the price for living. Pain’s the price for caring. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,” you said. You started to move your hand away when he turned his head.

“Don’t…” he said, easing when you played with it gently again. “That’s always calmed me down since I was a little kid.”

“Someone should take care of you every once in a while you know. Your parents, siblings, friends. Everyone needs a break.”

“I had a lot of help at the beginning. I don’t need a whole day. Just a moment here and there,” he said quietly.

“It’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. He nodded and you played with his hair a few moments, watching his shoulders ease. This time when you pulled away he smiled up at you. “Better?”

“Yeah. Thank you. That’s not in your job description to do that sort of thing.”

“Well I think your wife would want somebody to watch your back, even for only a minute or two,” you said.

“You don’t have any brain aneurysms I should know about, do you?” he chuckled.

“No. That what happened?” you asked, a single nod coming from him.

“She was sleeping. Not a bad way to go I was told, you’d never even know,” he said. “Not a fun thing to wake up to in the morning though.”

“My dad had a mass at the back of his head. It was that same kind of thing where one second it’s fine and the next everything’s different deal. It was inoperable. Then he goes and dies from a car accident of all things before it got bad. My mom had a hard time with that.”

“You said she had a boyfriend later on right?” he asked.

“Yeah. I know you’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. You ruffled his hair and he smiled, a soft look on his face. “Pro tip too from someone who’s been there, kids with a single parent turn out just fine.”

“Do they ever wish they had another parent?” he asked.

“They wish the parent they still have around is happy again someday. They won’t understand until they’re older that it’s a different kind of love between parents. But they’ll know it’s a little different and they’ll hope dad feels better too. Your kids are tough. They’ll be okay too.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. You hopped off the counter and washed up your dish, sticking it in the dishwasher before you went to leave for your room. “So I gotta ask. Who takes care of you?”

“Me?” you asked, pointing to yourself. He shrugged and smiled, your gaze going past him. “I’m all good. I don’t need somebody to take care of me.”

“Liar,” he said softly. “You know my friend tells me everybody needs to be taken care of sometimes.”

“That’s the difference between us Jensen. You’re not like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed, his face scrunching up suddenly.

“It means you’re not on your own and even if you feel like it, it’s only been a little while. You’ll be okay. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“You haven’t lived my life and I haven’t lived yours. Don’t try to tell me that I’m not capable of-”

“It’s not about what you’re capable of. You said pain is part of life, it’s the price for living. You’ve had more than your fair share-”

“Lots of people have it a lot worse.”

“Don’t compare your pain to someone else's. They haven’t lived your life,” he said. You rolled your eyes and started to walk away, Jensen out of his seat and catching up with you in the hall. “You can be taken care of too you know.”

“By who? My non-existent circle of friends? My crappy ex? My mom’s ex boyfriend who’s got his own wife and kids? I am perfectly fine managing all of this by myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“You’re so frustratingly annoying,” he said, running his hand over his face. “Me. I’m talking about me. You just...you took care of me tonight. The least I can do is show you the same compassion.”

“No,” you said.

“No? Why not?”

“Because taking care of me turns into you walking into my shower without my permission and you being a dick and this going away and I don’t want you to be those things so no. We’re getting too friendly. Please leave me alone tomorrow.”

You left him in the hall and went down to your area of the house, shutting the door after you. There was quickly a knock and you growled, ripping it open.

“What?” you snapped at him.

“I am not going to hurt you or be a dick to you or whatever else you think. You need to realize in the real world, not everyone is an asshole.”

“You’re the one not living in the real world then, Jensen. Everybody’s an asshole.”

“Fine. I’m an asshole. But I’m not leaving until you say I can take care of you tomorrow. Two minutes is all I’m asking for.”

“This is my part of the house.”

“And technically I am outside your door,” he said. “Why are you so resistant to somebody doing something nice for you?”

“Because I don’t wanna get used to it,” you said. He stared and you shook your head. “You’re attractive and an actor and kind and funny and it’s not a matter of if you date again but when and when that day comes, we ain’t gonna be sitting on the couch eating ice cream anymore. Please do not invite me to anymore outings as a friend. I’ll attend if required as a nanny but this between us is done.”

“For the record, the only one around here that thinks of you as just the hired help is you. My children are completely like their old selves. I feel more like my old self. You seem happier than when I met you but for some reason, that’s a big problem to you. I do not understand that.”

“Leave or I resign and move out first thing,” you said. He crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “This is my formal resignation then. The company will-”

He moved quickly and you weren’t sure what he was doing at first but soon you realized he was hugging you, your hands resting against his chest. You swallowed and he didn’t move, your forehead resting against him.

“What are you doing?” you breathed out.

“When’s the last time you got a fucking hug?” he asked.

“The kids-”

“Not the kids.”

“I don’t remember,” you said quietly.

“Then you are overdue,” he said. You let yourself reach your arms around him and return the hug, breathing deeply, a small bubble in you rising up. You tried to push it down but it came back harder and you were fighting back tears before you knew it.

He could feel when you lost that battle, hand rubbing up and down your back. There was a soft shushing in the air and after a few minutes you felt better. You lifted your head but didn’t look at him, Jensen squeezing you in his hug again before it eased.

“You know you’re not allowed to quit on me...like ever,” he chuckled. You let out a small laugh, Jensen smiling at you when you forced your head up. He wiped off your cheeks and you let out one last sniffle. “You’re not alone. I promise you’re not. It’s not the quantity of people you have in your life but the quality and I’m sorry but we are friends and there’s nothing you can do about that so I’d just accept it now.”

“I’m sorry I was such a bitch.”

“You were scared, not a bitch,” he said. “I wish I could make you happier is all.”

“I wish I could bring back your wife for you,” you said.

“One of those is a lot more possible than the other,” he said. A small smile crossed his lips before he ducked his head down, shoulders heaving back before his head raised. “Y/N, can I confess something to you? I hope...I hope it doesn’t bother you but if it does, you don’t have to continue working for me. I’d still like to be friends regardless.”

“What’s wrong?” you asked, Jensen looking past you.

“My single friend I was going to set you up with? He doesn’t exist.”

“Oh.”

“Cause he’s kinda me.”

“Oh,” you said, staring at him, a lot of his previous behavior starting to click into place. “That’s…”

“I know,” he said, stepping away and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s weird and douchey and I’m sorry. I like you and I was trying to see if you would ever go for a 42 year old actor. I left out the widow and kids part but...I’m sorry.”

“When did you like me?” you asked quietly.

“The whole time?” he said, laughing nervously to himself. “It’s kinda snowballed since we met. I never in my life thought I’d like someone again. I didn’t want to like you. I hired you because you were the best candidate and I knew the kids would be in good hands but everyday it’s there, even more, and I know this is so inappropriate on so many levels and I’m really starting to ramble here but you make me think maybe your mom had a point and people are allowed to have...more than one…and sometimes the way you talk to me and treat me and look at me...”

He swallowed as you stepped in front of him, taking a quick breath.

“I will keep working for you and I’ll be your friend...and you can make me dinner tomorrow,” you said with a smile. “We’ll see where it goes from there?”

“You’re not...weirded out?” he asked.

“By your age, you’re my boss or the cheeky lying about a fake friend?” you said.

“All of the above.”

“Age doesn’t bother me. You have no idea how to be a boss, no offense, and the friend...I don’t blame you for wanting to test the waters first,” you said. “But I expect honesty from here on out.”

“Absolutely,” he said.

“Good,” you said.

“You do like me right?” he asked. “Like you don’t feel obligated or-”

“I like you Jensen. Why do you think I was trying to push you away before you got too close? I didn’t want to be hurt.”

“Give me a chance to not,” he said. “We can have dinner and see how it goes from there.”

“Normally the best course of action,” you said.

“But maybe with a few more hugs from now on,” he said. “For the both of us.”

“That’d be okay with me,” you said. He smiled and you returned it. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“I guess you will,” he said. He turned to go when he spun back on his heels. “Or we could go back out there, eat way too much dessert and hang out?”

“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Give me a minute to wash up my face.”

“Take all the time you want. I’m gonna change into something more comfortable anyways.”

He left and you washed off your face in the bathroom, drying it off and taking a deep breath.

You did like him. There was something calming about him to you and you enjoyed his company, even if it was just the two of you having a quiet cup of coffee in the morning.

But he was an actor. And kinda famous. And a widow. And had three kids.

“But your face is cute,” you said aloud, looking the mirror. “Gah, of course you have to be like...into me. Nutjob. He must be a nutjob. That’s it.”

“Y/N?” you heard him saying and you smacked yourself in the face. “Are you talking to yourself?”

“Uh, yeah,” you said, stepping out and seeing him in the hall sporting a pair of pajama pants and a t shirt. “That was fast.”

“Well I didn’t go through an eight step skin routine too,” he chuckled.

“For your information, my routine is only three steps,” you said, walking past him and waggling your fingers.

“I didn’t realize I was living with such a savage,” he said. You laughed and went back to the kitchen, making up another dish of brownie for him while he went over to where he kept his liquor. “You a bourbon kind of girl?”

“Is there any other kind?” you said.

“Touche.” He poured out two glasses and slid one over while you passed his bowl to him. “So what’s this three step routine? Do I need to up my game or what?”

“I think I need your routine, not the other way around,” you said.

“Nah. I like looking at your face more than mine. Trust me.”

“Oh. How long you been holding back those kinds of comments?” you teased.

“Longer than you’d think,” he said, sharing the bowl with you. “Feel okay now?”

“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I cried,” you said. “Especially in front of someone.”

“A good cry session has never hurt in my experience. I’ll do it for work and stuff but normally I’m not much of one. Aside from the past six months I mean.”

“Are you ready to try this?” you asked.

“Yeah. I know I am,” he said. “I’m positive of it.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because you make me happy. You make me...want to do stuff again, believe in all the romantic...if I wasn’t ready, I’d feel guilty. But I don’t. I just know that maybe some people get more than one chance and maybe I’m one of them.”

“I know you are, whoever it ends up being,” you said.

“Are you ready to try this?”

You took a drink and bite of ice cream, pushing the bowl back.

“I miss my family,” you said. “I miss being happy. I’d like to...have someone that could take care of me for a moment every once in a while. I might mess that up sometimes but I’m willing to try.”

“Me too,” he said. “I’d expect some screw ups on this end too. I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time.”

“I’m sure it hasn’t changed all that much,” you said.

“Well I’ve never dated with kids and as a widow,” he said.

“I’m just in this for them to be honest,” you laughed.

“I see how it is,” he said with a smirk.

“I don’t think it’ll be as hard as you think,” you said.

“I hope not,” he said.

“Do they know? You want to date?”

“JJ does,” he said. “She’s little but she understands that it doesn’t mean I’ll never love her mother any less. She’s been strangely okay through this whole thing aside from the first few weeks. She helps her brother and sister out more now.”

“As someone who was that kid, minus the siblings, I know they’ll be okay. She’s a great kid. I’ve met plenty of spoiled brats. Yours are not.”

“Well that might just be the second best thing I’ve heard tonight,” he said.

“Whatever was the first?” you teased, eating a spoon of ice cream.

“Oh I think you know,” he said, stealing the spoon back. You smiled and heard some feet run around upstairs before the stairs creeped and a little head ducked down into view. “Arrow. It’s bedtime sweetie.”

“I had a accident,” she said. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, honey,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

“Want help?” you asked.

“Sure,” he said. He scooped up Arrow on the way up the stairs, setting her down in the kids bathroom. He got some clean pajamas and you found a pair of pull ups, Arrow pouting at you.

“I don’t need ‘em,” she said.

“Your brother wears them. I wore them and your mommy and daddy wore them. Everybody wears pull ups when they’re your age,” you said.

“Just tonight,” she said, stepping into them. Jensen walked past with the mattress liner and she was dressed by the time you heard the washer going off in the distance. You walked her back to bed, Jensen slipping in past you and tucking her in. “Night daddy.”

“Night sweetie,” he said, kissing her temple.

“Night Y/N,” she said.

“Night night kiddo,” you said, giving her a tiny wave before you left, Jensen flipping off her light and pulling the door shut.

“Come here a second,” he said, nodding and you saw him head towards his room. The double doors were open and you stepped inside, Jensen going past the bed and over to a set of french doors. He pushed one open and waved for you to follow, showing you out to a rooftop balcony.

“Wow,” you said, a set of chairs, a table and a lounger out there along with a whole lot soft string lights. “I didn’t realize you had this up here.”

“Kinda a place to go unwind, relax,” he said. “I disappear out here sometimes. Been out here a lot at night lately.”

“Thinking about what?” you asked.

“You,” he said. “I talk to Dee about you sometimes as crazy as that sounds.”

“Doesn’t sound crazy at all,” you said.

“I just wanted to say...this area isn’t off limits anymore. Nothing is,” he said.

“She asked you out, didn’t she,” you said with a smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “You’re cute.”

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, heading back towards inside.

“Come on, Jensen. Before the ice cream melts on us.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 4 here!

#spn #supernatural #jensen x reader #jensen ackles #jensen ackles au #rpf #jensen series #rpf series #jensen ackles x reader #spn fanfic #jensen fanfic #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

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the-witty-pen-name · 3 years

Text

The Nanny Pt. 3

Lee Bodecker x Nanny!F!Reader

18+

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: alcohol/drinking, food, corrupt cop, mentions of prostitution/smut, implied age gap (reader is in her 20s), cursing, mentions of serial killers/murder, mutual pining,

Summary:

Based on this Request: The reader moves to Meade/Knockemstiff while answering an advertisement for a nanny in the paper. We learn that the ad was posted by Sandy, who has the reader watch her child whenever she and Carl leave to do their secret thing. After one of these trips, Sandy and her husband never return, so the reader is left caring for their baby. With the new investigation into these events, she meets Sandy’s brother Lee, the older, out of shape, alcoholic bachelor, and they are suddenly thrown into each others lives as he begins looking into his sister’s disappearance. Through it all, Lee starts to fall for her, and they slowly become a family.

A/N: I got inspired re-watching one of my favorite shows and I want to know if anyone else gets the reference I’m using! If I missed anything I should include as a warning that I missed please let me know! This is also unedited!

Taglist Form is in my bio!

Series Masterlist

Your shoulders tensed listening to the radio in the morning. Sitting on your ottoman, you were painting your nails, using the coffee table as your nail station. It was a really bright morning, and you had the curtains pulled open to draw in light. Julie frantically rushed between her room and the bathroom getting ready for her shift at the diner. The newest single from The Beach Boys was playing through the little counter top radio, but at the top of the hour, the melodies playing through the speaker changed to the news. The top story of the morning was chilling.

“Jules,” you said, calling her over hesitantly, putting the cap back on the bottle of polish. “Come listen to this.”

She scurried out of her room while working to tie her apron in the back, and then she stood next to where you sat to listen to the story on the news. The color drained from her face as you both listened to the reporter describe the horrific scene that was under investigation early this morning.

Roy Laferty was an evangelical preacher whose body washed up by the lake very early that same morning. The news report talked about the police investigation, and also disclosed his wife Helen, is also reported missing. They are looking into the disappearance of Helen, as well as opening a full investigation on Laferty’s murder. They also urge individuals with any information regarding the two to call the Sheriff’s department and to provide a statement.

“That’s horrifying,” you mumble, shocked as you try to process the news. Julie nods in agreement but strangely doesn’t seem nearly as affected by the news as you.

“It’s happening again,” she mutters, obviously concerned but her lack of surprise worries you.

“What do you mean again?” you ask.

“There was a string of unexplained murders, all men, like this newest one,” Julie explained, “This was all over the news like two years ago- can’t believe you hadn’t heard about it.” All you could do was shrug; this was all new to you. “Obviously, there was nothing linking their deaths, but there were these five killings a couple of years ago that are still unsolved. There’s no evidence, but the town rumors it was like a serial killer or something. Nothing is confirmed, of course, just a story.”

“What makes people think it was all the same person?” you ask, hesitantly.

“All the people were always the same type,” she shrugs, “Men all in their 20s and 30s. Again, there’s nothing linking them all together. It’s just talk.”

You clicked off the radio, and didn’t know what to do with yourself. Julie patted your shoulder, comfortingly but she had to go on with her day. So did you, and you almost her ability to move about the apartment almost unfazed by the news. You suppose it makes sense, her growing up here she’s probably used to it. You didn’t have the experience or the thick skin she had.

You had decided to go to the library, still preoccupied by the news segment as well as the things Julie had told you about the Sheriff. You spent the better half of the morning looking at the library��s archives of old newspapers. You wanted to read more about the unsolved cases Julie had told you about, so there you sat for several hours looking through the microfilm reader. You even stumbled upon articles that featured the Sheriff.

There he was plain as day on the front page when it was announced he had won the election the first time he ran several years back. You couldn’t help but notice the changes in his appearance and demeanor compared to the man you keep running into. He was a little slimmer, and he looked a lot happier, a little fuller of life, you decided was a good way to explain it. His smile was wider, and you could see the difference in his eyes as well. It was seeing how he was before the stress of the job began to take its heavy toll. He had on the same leather jacket as well, you were fairly certain, even though the one in the photograph hung a little looser.

You continued to skim through articles, piecing your way through the history of Knockemstiff. Little articles in black and white that persevered the history of this dark little town. You were beginning to realize this backwater town was a lot more tangled and complex than you originally believed. It was a tangled history, riddled with crime and unclosed cases, that people seem to have either forgotten or choose to ignore for their own sake. Your mind wandered back to the things Julie had told you about the Sheriff and him being corrupt. You wonder how much of what you read about linked back to him. Though you imagine if he has any sort of political connection, which a man like him must have, the things he was involved in probably didn’t even make it into the paper. The thought made you physically shiver.

You put the large leather portfolios of archives you took and put them back into their proper place on the self chronologically. You grabbed your sweater from the back of your chair, and pushed the chair back into place. Looking up at the clock on the wall, it was only just one in the afternoon. You decided to head down to the diner and grab a bite, and also visit Julie during her second shift. It was a short walk from the library to the diner. Everywhere felt like a short walk here, probably because everything in downtown was not much bigger than a few blocks. The majority of people lived far from the center of town, on their own land and farms.

The little bell on the door rang when you stepped in and Julie waved at you from behind the counter and pointed for you to grab an empty table in her section. You put your bag on the table and took a seat. It was a fairly busy time, most people who worked at the surrounding businesses coming in for their lunch break. Julie brought you over a coffee and then said she’d be back to chat when she got to take her five.

Lee hadn’t been able to go home since the phone call. The symptoms of his hangover were worsening and he was growing more irritable. His five o’clock shadow was still evident on his tired face and his head was pounding. He tried his best to just power through it but the sound of anyone trying to talk to him just made his ears ring.

After leaving the scene, he had to stop by his office and then he was on the phone for the better part of an hour fielding calls from frantic citizens not only of Knockemstiff but also Meade, where Laferty was from. Despite how horribly he felt, he tried his best to keep his temper level and just reassure people he had things under control. He was losing his patience.

He opened up his desk drawer and grabbed his bottle of asprin. Empty. He threw it into the small waste bin and got up abruptly grabbing his jacket off the hook and storming out. He didn’t tell anyone he was leaving and he didn’t care. It was a short walk to the drugstore from the station and he wouldn’t be five minutes. He just needed to do something to stop his head from hurting.

“Afternoon, Sheriff,” the pharmacist greeted when he walked in. He nodded his head upwards briefly to reply without having to talk. He just needed to get in and out. She went back to whatever she was working on when he came in, and he browsed the aisles for what he needed. After paying and walking out, he glanced in the direction of the diner when he was crossing the street. There you were, again. Sitting alone and chatting with the waitress that was refilling your coffee.

He let out a heavy sigh, and then continued walking. He didn’t want you to see him like this, hungover, unshaved, wrinkled uniform and heavy undereye bags from his lack of sleep. You looked- well, Lee thought you were the prettiest thing he’s seen in a while, maybe ever. There was something about you he couldn’t pinpoint. Maybe it was just because you weren’t from here. You were a fresh face, and not ruined by this town. There was a sweetness and an innocence in how you talked to him, because you didn’t know him like the rest of people here did. He liked that.

Even when he left the station for the day, he couldn’t even go home yet. He had a meeting at the bar with one of Brown’s lackeys. He was just supposed to collect his cut so he couldn’t imagine it would take long, but he was still annoyed. Stepping into the bar he looked around as he took off his hat. It was a little more crowded tonight then when he was here last. The red curtain was closed and his eyes lingered there for a moment before directing his attention to the man he recognized who was waving him over.

“Sheriff,” the man greets and Lee slides into the booth across from him.

“Hayward,” he replies. Without even needing to order, the bartender comes over bringing them a bottle of scotch and two glasses.

“You ever go back there?” Hayward asks, watching as a girl came out and brought a man behind the curtain who had been waiting at the bar.

“No,” Lee scoffs.

“They are amazing,” Hayward says, almost giddy. Lee feels sympathy towards the poor woman who had to take care of him. Lee doesn’t acknowledge the statement and just empties his glass and begins to pour himself a second.

“So, my cut?” Lee asks. Hayward frowns and goes into the breast pocket of his sports coat and pulls out an envelope of cash.

“You aren’t getting full,” the man says when Lee cocks a brow at the thinness of the envelope.

“Still?” Lee asks, pissed. Hayward nods. Lee’s jaw clenches.

“You didn’t keep things tidy on your end,” Hayward reminds him, “You got one job. Keep the cops out of our territory. We had two cruisers drive through last week. The only reason you’re getting anything at all is cause you managed to keep your people off us when we did the exchange with Deckard’s crew.”

The man finishes his drink, and then slaps the empty glass on the table. He pulls out his own envelope, which is much thicker than Lee’s and drops down more than enough for the drinks. He chuckles condescendingly and tells the Sheriff to get a dance. Fuck that. Lee takes the extra money and plans to just put it right in his pocket and go home. He finishes his third scotch and suddenly his headache was back. He felt worse than he did earlier today.

“What can I do for you, Sheriff?” a feminine voice asks, making him break his line of thought. He looks to his side and he recognizes her as one of the girls he sees bringing men to the back room, behind the velvet curtain. He shakes his head, and instead of leaving him alone, she slides into the booth next to him. Her hand grazes over his thigh. “You seem awful tense, Sheriff,” she says and then bites her lip.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted. He knows she doesn’t actually want him, and it’s just an attempt to get him to spend money in the backroom. If he doesn’t focus his already hazing vision, maybe she could vaguely remind him of you. He can’t do it, but he wants to. Her hand moves up his leg and he pulls away. He adjusts his pants and she shrugs.

“Maybe next time then,” she winks before walking away. He rests his head back on the vinyl seat and sighs. He grabs his hat and jacket, leaving before he changes his mind. “Ask for Cherry when you come in, yeah?” she calls when he walks out.

You are just everywhere. You’re in his head and he doesn’t even know you. He needs to sleep, desperately, and part of him in the back of his mind hopes you’ll be there. When he wakes up, he doesn’t remember.

“Have you heard about the Church fundraiser coming up?” Julie asks. You shake your head. “It’s a pretty big deal here. Everyone participates.”

“What is it?” you ask, kicking off your slippers so you can sit crisscross on the couch.

“Bid-On-A-Basket,” she says casually, like it’s the most obvious thing.

“Never heard of it,” you reply, “It sounds fun. What is it?”

“All us single gals put together a picnic basket with everything for a lunch,” she explains, “and then all the eligible bachelors bid on the basket and a date with the girl who made it. Last year, the dreamiest guy, Bill Whittier, bought mine- it’s so fun. Me and Bill didn’t work out but it was a good time.”

“I don’t know anyone here,” you say hesitantly.

“Perfect way to get a date then,” she teases. You bite your lip. You aren’t sure about this.

“And what if some creep is the highest bidder?” you counter.

“You get a bad date story for your next date?” she poses. “Please,” she begs, “It’s for a good cause, all the money this year is going to help the Sunday school.”

“What if no one bids on it?” You rebut.

“Look at yourself,” she scoffs, “you’ll get bids. Trust me.” You roll your eyes.

“I’ll think about it,” you say finally. She smirks, completely planning to wear you down.

“Remember it’s for the kids,” she reasons, “It wouldn’t hurt to go and participate.”

“I said I’ll think about it,” you laugh.

Time passes and soon enough you get another call from Sandy, and you are suddenly back to taking care of Valerie. You had missed her, a lot actually. You definitely have gotten attached to her, and you think you’ve grown on her too. Sandy was vague this time for how long they’d be gone, but since the previous time went so smoothly, you didn’t worry about it.

About a week after Sandy and Carl left this time, there was another disturbing news report. You were sitting on the floor, changing Valerie and you had the television playing softly in the background. The news told the story of another body, this time found in the woods off of the highway. You finish changing the baby and hold her close, her little chin resting on your shoulder as you watch the news story. It was just like Julie had talked about. Another man, thirty years old. He was shot and his body abandoned. You jump at the knock at the front door.

You peep through the curtains, and you see the Sheriff waiting on the front porch. You wonder if he knows you’re there. Part of you almost wishes he knows it you here and he wanted to see you. It’s incredibly stupid on your part and you know better, but nonetheless, part of you hoped he came here for you. Very stupid. With Valerie on your hip, you open the door.

“I’m sorry, darling,” he says walking into the house. He stops in front of you and presses a kiss to Valerie’s forehead and she squeals happily seeing Lee. You close the door with your foot. “May I?” he asks, and opens his arms. You agree, based on Valerie’s reactions to him whenever she sees him. He takes her in his arms, and she starts playing with his tie. He loosens it so she can play with it and not choke him.

“What can I do for you, Sheriff?” you ask. He reacts in a way in a way you can’t really read, but you don’t press.

His mind just goes back to the woman a couple weeks back in the brothel who asked him the same thing, and that his mind immediately had gone to you. He just clears his throat and snaps himself out of that thought process.

“Um, I just came by to see Sandy,” he says, “But I can fathom a guess that she’s not here?”

“Excellent deduction,” you joke, and he smirks. Valerie has his tie in her mouth and is covering it in drool. He doesn’t even seem to care.

“Are you okay?” he asks, and you nod. “You looked a little scared when you answered.”

“Just watching the news before you showed up is all,” you explain, “They were talking about how there was another man found dead.”

“Ain’t got nothing to worry about,” he says, “We’re on top of it. I’m on my way over there now.”

“Can I ask you something?” you ask hesitantly.

“Of course, darling.”

“My friend, you probably know her- Julie Grady.”

“Yeah, nice kid,” he says, listening but gently pulling his tie from Valerie’s grasp. She starts playing with the flap of the pocket of his jacket.

Kid. You almost grimace. That’s right. Of course, Lee would view someone your age that way. You weren’t. You chastise yourself for even caring, but you decide to continue. You shouldn’t care how he sees you.

“Yeah- well, she told me there have been others,” you continue, “I also read up about it, just the newspapers at the library- but she said people thought it was some kind of serial killer… I just, I want to know what you think.”

“I don’t think know,” he answers honestly, a little taken aback, not expecting you to approach him with something this serious. “I doubt it,” he explains, “Serial killers stay close to home. Now those cases you read about, and these two we are looking at- they sound close together but logistically, they aren’t really. Two of those unsolved were in completely different states- just like this new one.”

“So, no traveling serial killer?” you chuckle, trying to sound lighthearted. He chuckles and shakes his head.

“Most people like that stay in one area,” Lee explains, “They work jobs, they have a home, you know? They tend to stay near where they live.”

“That makes me feel much better,” you answer honestly.

“You got nothing to worry about, and that’s a promise,” he grins, although he supposes coming from him that probably doesn’t mean much. Regardless, it makes you smile.

“Are you sure I can’t get you anything?” you offer again. He bites his lip, taking a moment to think.

“Sandy keeps a bag of candy in her cabinet,” he says, walking into the kitchen with you following close behind. He passes Valerie off to you and he chuckles under his breath at the state of his tie. He reaches up in the cabinet and pulls down a brown paper bag, filled with taffies and chocolates.

Something about this man who has a whole time scared of him playing with his niece and then stealing sweets from the cupboard is something you find so strangely endearing. He unwraps one of the brightly colored taffies and then puts the bag in his pocket.

“I gotta go,” he announces, “let me know if you hear from Sandy, yeah?”

“Of course,” you reply.

“Gonna head out to that scene, and do my report,” he discloses, not really sure why he’s telling you. “Then I have a meeting at the rectory about that fundraiser thing. Figure out security.”

“They need security at Bid-On-A-Basket?” you ask, with an eyebrow raised. He smiles.

“You going?” he asks, flirtatiously.

“Just seems weird to have police at a Church thing.”

“There’s been stupid fights,” he shrugs, “some guy will get outbid and cause a fuss. Nothing serious. Probably just gonna be me and a deputy in case. You going?”

“I don’t know, maybe,” you say sheepishly. “Why?”

He walks towards the front door, and you follow seeing him out.

“Cause I gotta know if I’ll be bidding on a basket,” he winks.

“You gonna start a fight if you don’t win it?” you joke.

“If it’s yours? Absolutely, darling.”

Taglist:

@adelaide-walker @thedepressolit @samanthadegaro @pyronack @greeneyedblondie44 @acciosiriusblack @weenersoldierr @teenagemutant @witchybarb @iraot @my-love-darling @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @swiftieandthewintersoldier @letsfly-andbe-free @rebekahdawkins @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan @hersilencedscreams @unsaltedalmonds @dangerdolns @vintagepigeon @bluebouquetcupcake29 @goslytherin @captainofallfandoms @buckistan @aynanasstuff @everything-is-all-clear @rosalynshields @tinynshykitten

#lee bodecker #lee bodecker imagine #lee bodecker fic #lee bodecker x reader #lee bodecker x you #the devil all the time #sebastian stan characters #lee bodecker x y/n #lee bodecker x f!reader #lee bodecker smut #slow burn #mystery #lee bodecker oneshot

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lottiebagleywritesobx · 3 years

Text

Tequila confessions

JJ lets out a sigh at the sight of his best friend. He'd been late to the kegger and more than ready to relax and have fun with his friends, he knew almost immediately that his plans were going to be very different.

"JAIII," She's slurring as she shouts, stumbling a little over nothing as she approaches him.

"Hey sunshine," He coos lightly, tucking her into his side as he points Kie a sharp glare.

She holds her hands up in surrender "That girl is crazy," Kie defends, causing the girl to let out a gasp, turning to fight back but seemingly forgetting she was mad in the first place when she actually sees Kie, instead moving to go and hug her friend, she's kept in place though by JJ's arm around her shoulder.

"Seriously Kie, I asked you to keep an eye out for her for like a couple hours cause I had work," JJ complains, it was no secret amongst the pogues that she couldn't hold her drinks, she could casually drink on the boat all day but the minute she was in a party setting she would wind up pissed.

"It's not my fault girls from school wanted to do tequila shots and-"

"Shit! You know she voms on tequila," JJ grumbles

"No, we don't all know every little thing about her," Kie defends, JJ rolls his eyes, glancing to see if she had realised what Kiara meant, she seemed to be entertaining herself by playing with the ends of his fingers that hang around her shoulder. "C'mon, I'll get you a beer," Kie offers.

JJ sighs, he does want to drink with his friends, smoke a bit too. It had been a long day and he needed to relax. He knows though that if his best friend has done tequila shots she'll be feeling ill within minutes and he wants to be able to look after her properly.

"I should probably skip, get this one home," He admits, squeezing the girl in his arms a little, seemingly drawing her attention back to him.

"I'm not going home," She argues, still slurring

"Sunshine, you gotta. You'll be feeling poorly soon and-"

He cuts himself off when she makes a dash for it. Leaving his tight grip and sprinting across the beach to John B who reaches out immediately to steady her and stop her from falling.

"Fuck it. Where's the beer Kie?" JJ decides.

He settles at the campfire, drinking slowly so as to stay sober and look after her when she inevitably needs him. A group of touron girls are talking to him, pawing for attention and he's half listening, his eyes are zoned in on her though.

He watched as she danced with Sarah.

He watched as she played beer pong with some kook boys, not sure if he was mad because she was already drunk enough or because they all kept trying to touch her. He figured it's probably the latter.

He watched as she splashed Pope in the shallow water.

Unable to help himself, a large grin spreads across his face as he watches her approach him. She's reaching out and making grabby hands at him, confidently shoving her way through the girls surrounding him to sit next to him. She doesn't need to worry about it, he's always dropped everything to be with her.

She sits silently, head cocked to the side, eyeing JJ with great concentration despite her glassy eyes. He takes the moment to look at her, glowing in the light from the fire and biting her bottom lip slightly, she always does when she's focused.

"Your face is stupid but I like it. I like your stupid...it's so...I like it. Can I touch it?"

"Course you can sunshine," He's grinning widely and can practically feel himself melting when her hand reaches out, stroking his cheek gently.

"JJ can I tell you something?" She's trying to whisper but her voice is no where near quiet, hand still cupping his face.

"You can tell me anything," He reassures, hand going to her knee to rub comforting circles on the skin

"I feel icky,"

"You wanna leave?" He asks, his voice soft

"I wanna be with you,"

"Well obviously I'm leaving with you, christ sunshine, wasn't just gonna let you wander off home all alone,"

"But you just got here and then I'll ruin your night-" He can tell she's about to ramble so he decides to cut it off quickly

"I'd rather be with you anyway. Alright?" He speaks so softly that if anyone who knew him and hadn't seen him around her before were to see they'd struggle to believe it was him at all.

JJ prides himself on how attentive he is to her needs. No matter the situation he knows what she wants.

Tonight is no different, she's leaning over the toilet of the chateau, JJ is standing behind her rubbing her back comfortingly as he holds her hair back.

She pulls away from the toilet, her face a little sweaty and immediately JJ is passing her a glass of water. She pats the floor next to her and JJ immediately sits. "I wanna give you something," She sighs, her head falling to JJ's shoulder as she hiccups a little

"What is it?" He asks, hand once again finding it's home on her knee, his thumb rubbing gently

"My heart. I wanna give you my heart. How do I do it?" She springs up off his shoulder again, looking at him intensely

"Might take a surgery, we'll leave that one for tomorrow yeah?" He questions gently. He knows he can't let himself, even for a second, think she means what's she's saying. She's intoxicated and she's a sappy drunk and he can't set himself up for that kind of heart break.

"Tomorrow though?"

"Yeah sunshine," He nods.

"You're my best friend JJ, but don't tell Kie," She whispers, although it's still not quiet

"You're mine. But don't tell John B," He hums in response, watching her with a wide smile as she grins, rocking back and forth a little.

"I really love you," She admits, her eyes almost look scared

"I really love you too,"

"No like I really love you. Like I wanna have your babies and be with you all the time kinda love you,"

"You are drunk. You don't know what you're saying," He's more telling himself than her.

"NO!" She shouts, gasping dramatically as though she's offended. "I'm not drunk. If I was drunk could I do this?"

He sits silently for a few seconds, watching as she seems to glare at him instensly.

"What is it you are doing sunshine?" He questions

"I-I'm sending you my love. Did you not get it?" She almost looks like she's about to cry and JJ acts quickly, pulling her into a tight hug. "Can we sleep now blondie?"

"Of course sunshine," He agrees immediately. He lifts her from the floor with ease, placing her onto the bed in the room that might as well belong to him. He makes her down another water, helping her out of her jean shorts and crop top and helping her into one of his tshirts. Passing her a cotton pad with her makeup remover on.

She snuggles into the mattress pulling the duvet up to just under her eyes as she watches JJ get ready for bed. He turns around to face her "Thought you were taking your makeup off sweetheart?"

"No. I want cuddles,"

"You can have cuddles after you take your make up off," he instructs, she sighs dramatically but rubs at her face with the cotton pad.

He climbs into bed next to her, opening his arms and immediately she snuggles into them, tucking her head under his chin and wrapping her arms around him, he holds her close, rubbing her back gently.

"I really am in love with you JJ,"

"Tell me again after you've slept and I'll be yours. Okay sunshine?"

"Okay," She agrees, smiling when she feels him press a kiss to the top of her head "You'll say it back though, right?" She questions, her voice slowly becoming more drowsy

"I promise,"

JJ wakes up to see her still in his arms. She's awake though, staring at him from his chest.

"Are you watching me sleep like a creeper?"

"Are you gonna say it?" She enquires immediately, he doesn't like the way his heart swells, maybe she meant it? maybe it wasn't just her drunk ramblings?

"You need to learn how to hack a drink," He scolds lightly

"Not that JJ,"

"I'm in love with you," He speaks quietly, she jumps immediately, sitting up to straddle him and pulling him up with her.

"I wanna kiss you,"

"Then kiss me," He grins, he doesn't think he's ever been happier.

"I haven't brushed my teeth,"

"I don't care," He laughs a little and she giggles

"I do. C'mon," She pulls him from the bed to follow her.

They brush their teeth, JJ's arms wrapped around her waist as they do so and the second both their toothbrushes are back in the little holder his lips are on hers.

He kisses gently, like he's been waiting for this his whole life and he wants to savour every last second. She figures that maybe he has been.

"JJ, did I mention having your kids last night?" She whispers, foreheads pressed together.

"Yeah. You are never living it down sunshine," He's beaming as she giggles, leaning up to press her lips back to his.

#jj maybank #jj #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x y/n #obx fic #obx #jj maybank fic

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i-did-not-mean-to · 2 years

Text

Late spring - Part 2

Ayo, @maalezzo has asked for an update for this one...so, here it is :D

-> Part 1

Words: 2,8 k

Warnings: slight nudity...

“Where are you going again?” her mother’s voice was as prickly as the stems of the fresh roses she had just put away as Vio took her coat off the hook to slip out of the backdoor.

“I am meeting a friend,” Vio said, trying to make her face look as calm and convincing as humanly possible when she was very aware that her words held no real explanation.

“Is that so?” Her mother cocked one eyebrow at her but let her go.

What Vio didn’t know was that her mother was �� of course – aware that she was still pining for the boy of the draper’s shop or that the very same boy had come in only yesterday while Vio was in the backroom to look at some of the flowers.

She had asked him if she could help him with something as he had not struck her as the kind of young man who had too many women to buy flowers for and – caught in the act – he had purchased a beautiful bouquet of violets.

Now, she was not saying that the youngest Ri, much less roguish than his brother, would offer her own flowers to her darling daughter, but she could imagine that they were in cahoots, nonetheless.

With a shrug, the older woman sat back on her chair and unwrapped her own sandwich, musing about the future of her only child who had been slipping out – for weeks now – to meet a mysterious friend during her every lunchbreak.

She didn’t like the fact that Vio clearly had secrets, but she trusted her daughter enough to believe that she would come to her if anything should develop from her dalliance with the boy next door.

He was cute enough, she tried to convince herself, whenever she met him on the street, he was polite and gentle after all; as a mother though, she could simply not imagine her sweet blossom falling prey to a man who – most probably – couldn’t keep a cactus alive, let alone a heart and soul as tender as Vio’s.

“Hey,” Vio shrugged out of her coat and placed the sandwiches – neatly tucked into a clear container – on a side-table.

“Oh,” Ori looked up, slightly cross-eyed from having peered so intently at the shape of a particular petal for a good long moment, “how are you?”

Stepping closer, Vio settled her hand onto his shoulder as she threw an admirative glance at the sketches littering the cream-coloured paper under his left palm; he promptly flinched.

An awful thought came to her.

“Touch me,” she demanded directly, holding his surprised gaze as she stood – expectantly – just within the reach of those slender, white fingers she had been watching draw and smudge for weeks now.

“What?” Ori stammered, his eyes betraying the fear of an animal when looking into the barrel of the hunter’s gun.

“Touch me,” Vio repeated, “it’s been weeks and in a short while, you’ll be called upon to stab ink into my bare skin. I need to know that you’re able to do it.”

Ori swallowed thickly as he asked: “Do what?”

“Touch my bare skin; you look as if you’re about to faint every time I come too close,” Vio hissed, crossing her arms over her chest to grab the hem of her sweater, and pulling it off in one smooth gesture.

“Vio!” he cried, plunging to lock the door lest Dori come in and misunderstand the scene unfurling before his eyes.

“Coward,” she jeered, but her playful mood mellowed immediately as she recognised how truly miserable he looked, “I am sorry, Ori, it’s okay.”

He knew that she was right though; Ori was aware that he might have been wilfully delaying his progress on the reworking of the sketches, because – on the one hand – he had never been happier in his whole life than these last few weeks during which Vio came in every day to sit with him and – on the other hand – he was afraid of exactly what she had been alluding to just now.

A deep sigh rose like a cold wind in his chest as he had to confront the truth; he was scared of laying a hand on her for it would never be just a canvas now. He was earnestly terrified that she’d feel the clammy nervousness and the vasoconstrictive tension that would turn his skin into a wet rag on hers and that she’d know; in his nightmares, Vio could read the indecent thoughts plaguing him at night and the helpless hopes, popping up like weeds in his tormented mind at intervals, in his touch.

With a soundless chuckle, Vio gave in to the temptation of just bending down and pressing a light kiss onto his forehead as a means of giving solace and assuring him that she still wanted to do this.

“Maybe,” Ori whispered, “you’d like to find someone else?”

The mere thought of having someone else put his drawings on his girl nearly choked him, but her happiness was all that mattered in this.

“Oh no,” Vio laughed, “it has to be you; I want it to be you. I can wait for you to be comfortable.”

Ori squeezed his eyes shut so vehemently that he thought that his lids would crumple like paper and fall to dust; it seemed absurd that she wanted to wait for him to be ‘comfortable’ when it was the awareness that he was too comfy around her already that was the whole problem.

Usually so cautious around other people – especially women – he had allowed himself to be caught up in her bubbly energy to the point where he had been washed away completely; he was adrift on a foreign, potentially hostile sea and he was afraid that – if he ever held on to her – he would find himself unable to let go again.

“Wait,” he suddenly exclaimed, “you want my hands on you?”

Oh, that was a particularly unlucky way of phrasing it, he realised as soon as the words were out of his damned mouth and her eyes widened in wordless shock.

“I guess so,” Vio replied cautiously; she was not about to tell him exactly how many times she had been daydreaming about the moment those slender fingers would slide over her skin instead of the patient, mute paper.

Lifting one – only slightly trembling – hand to her bared shoulder, he let his palm settle onto the living warmth; the small sigh escaping her lips echoed through his chest as through an empty hall, and a warm smile spread over his own face.

“We are almost ready,” he heard himself say, his wish to delay that moment erased by the sight of the translucent, lacey top she was wearing over an equally intricate bra.

“I am looking forward to it,” Vio grinned, placing her own hand over his and giving it a little squeeze, “it will be glorious, I’m sure.”

The sandwich was – as per usual – delicious and Ori wondered if they were at least friends by now; for weeks, they had taken turns in providing the lunches they ate while talking about their respective friends and families between tweaking the sketches.

It was a comfortable companionship and Ori was afraid that – once the tattoo was done – he would lose it; he knew not what he’d do once he had to sit alone in this empty room again.

“I don’t think that we can fit all of them on your back,” he said as he cleaned out the container as well as he could before handing it back to her.

“I thought so too,” Vio agreed, “but I guess we can put some in the front.”

“In the front?” he echoed in a voice crackling like static with shock.

“Yes, Ori,” Vio laughed, “humans have a front and a back side; you’re not afraid of women’s breasts, are you? Nori insinuated that you might be a prude.”

“I am not a prude,” Ori protested, visibly vexed, “I just don’t go around fondling women like he’s wont to do. If you want me to put some…in the front, I shall.”

His bravado was a very thin layer of desperate pretence he was afraid she’d see right through; his brother might well have been right about his reticence, but he was completely wrong about the underlying reasons.

Indeed, it was lack of experience and fear of doing something incomparably and irredeemably stupid rather than some intrinsic moral judgement; in this very moment for example, he did not think Vio despicable for speaking thus, but he couldn’t help the sour, paralysing taste of panic coating his tongue either.

“Maybe we’ll need to practise this beforehand?” Vio winked at him, “your hands are shaking.”

Ori stared down at his trembling fingers in dismay; how could his own body betray him so?

“Come to dinner,” Vio invited him, “maybe on the weekend?”

“Oh, you miss me too much when the shops are closed?” he laughed, trying to alleviate his own nervousness with a dash of humour, but Vio merely cocked her head.

“Is it that obvious?” she chuckled a little awkwardly.

“Oh…”

The heat and colour of crushed rose petals rose to his cheeks when he met her unflinching gaze over the forgotten sketch.

“I’ve got to get back to work,” Vio declared, “think about it and let me know. I’ll see you later?”

Against all rational reason, Ori hoped he’d get another one of those devout forehead kisses, but she merely smiled softly and left.

“Dori,” Ori slunk into the shop which he rarely did when not called upon, “I need your advice.”

“You’ll stop mooning at the girl and take her out?” his brother asked as he put away some swatches and turned around with a mocking smile.

“What? Who told you…?”

“Boy,” Dori sighed, “do you really think that I don’t know what’s going on in my own shop. What is it? Do you think the draper’s shop is below the flower shop’s honour?”

The fire in his brother’s eyes told Ori that – despite everything he might say to assuage his younger sibling – Dori had thought and worried about this before as well.

“It’s not about you, Dori,” Ori grumbled, “it’s about my own incompetence…”

“And your brother,” Dori offered up darkly, slightly shaking his head.

“Listen,” Dori tried to pull himself together, “neither Nori nor me are married, are we? I don’t think we are the ones to ask.”

He laid a heavy hand on the younger man’s shoulder – a hand that had fed and clothed him for years – and gave him an encouraging smile: “The girl seems to like you just fine the way you are; I say give her a chance.”

“You did what?” Vio’s father – come in just to check on his wife and daughter – stared her down mercilessly before his face softened into that indulgent smile she was so fond of.

“Your mother will not be happy,” he grinned, “she holds no love for that brother of his.”

“Well, I’d think that the affection I hold for Ori would outweigh – in extent and in importance – whatever reservations mother might have concerning his brother,” Vio replied adamantly.

“Still?” As her father, he knew perfectly how well she had liked the boy before, but – just like his wife – he had expected Vio to grow out of her childish infatuation once she had met more men.

Tall and sturdy himself, he could not see what his daughter could see in someone who looked like a single gust of wind would break him like a spring flower.

“Still,” Vio nodded with a small grin, smoothing out her dress nervously and pressing a small kiss onto her father’s cheek, “behave.”

“Oh,” Dori wiped at the corner of his eye, “you look so cute.”

“That was not the desired effect,” Ori grumbled, “I had hoped for something along the lines of ‘dashing’ at the very least.”

He knew that he would never be as awe-inspiring as his friends but – at least tonight – he had really endeavoured to make a good impression; he knew that Vio’s mother had prejudices against him, and he wanted to convince her of his own worth so very much.

Vio’s words floated back through the haze of memory, and he blushed; would she take him up to her room and let him practise touching her?

It was to his greatest shame that he had to admit that he had thought about her flesh covered in lace more often than was decent, at night, alone, in bed, on the bus, and in the shower.

The bouquet of violets that he had bought in a blind panic were wilting on his nightstand and yet, he could not throw them out because – when he closed his eyes at night – he could make himself believe that she was there with him for a few precious seconds before shame and silent despair drowned out his happiest memories.

No, he called himself to order, if he wanted to make this a successful evening, he would not let himself think about all the potential ways that woman could distract and seduce him without ever knowing just how much of an effect she really had on him.

When he arrived at the small cottage – able to name surprisingly many of the plants surrounding it like sentinels – Vio shot out of the door, clad in a mesmerising dress in a vibrant violet.

“It’s short for Violet, isn’t it?” Ori gasped as the realisation struck him; how many times had he turned over her name in his head like a child marvelled at a shiny, iridescent pebble without realising.

“It is short for Violet,” she nodded, handed him a small glass, and watched him down it in one go with an ineffable smile.

“For courage,” she explained and – throwing one single glance over her shoulder – she cupped his face in one hand and pressed a long, forceful kiss onto his lips, chasing the sharp, cutting taste of alcohol and the sweet ghost of cinnamon lingering on his lips.

His hand slid up her back, his fingers splaying on the naked skin, and a small sigh escaped him which made Vio smile broadly.

“Hmmm,” Ori muttered, “I am not sure how helpful that was. Do you always invite poor men, drive them half insane and then make them meet your parents?”

“No,” Vio cackled, “you’re the first lad I’ve ever introduced to them; well, they know of course who you are.”

They had spent many a year living past one another, Ori knew, but he was also certain that whatever Vio’s parents thought they knew about him was completely exaggerated or downright wrong.

As they walked back to the house, he seized his courage and dug deeper into what she had just let slip in such a nonchalant tone; had she really never brought anyone home?

“Ever since that summer a few years ago,” Vio admitted, “when you’d sit outside sketching whenever business was slow, I confess that it has been hard for me to put that picture from my mind.”

He had been so glorious, bathed in warmth, surrounded by a halo of sunlight, and she had never even considered any of her customers or friends as potential partners since.

“Me?” Ori stopped in his tracks, “Are you saying…”

The girl whose shorts and strappy tops had been the cause of his first unvoluntary boners many years ago, the girl whose embarrassed smile haunted his nights, the girl who had become his friend in the last few weeks in ways he had never even dared to hope for had been pining for him?

“Ori,” the door flew open, and the owner of the quaint, little flower shop appeared on the threshold, “Vio said you’d come.”

Behind her, a mountain of a man slunk closer, extending a hand so huge Ori felt like his own disappeared in it when he reached out to shake it.

“Vio says you draw well,” the man said, “and that she wants to have your drawings on the new sign.”

“DAD!” Vio hissed; she had planned on asking for Ori’s permission after dinner, but her father was legendary in his bad timing to which he was apparently entirely oblivious.

“My…what?” Ori turned to her in utter surprise; he knew that she had not told her parents about her tattoo plans, but he had never expected her to have any other ideas for his art.

Mercifully, her mother was announcing that dinner was about to be served and Vio thanked her stars for the reprieve; there was a lot that she wanted to talk over with Ori once she could manoeuvre him into her room and lock the door.

In the meantime, she reminded herself that patience was a virtue and that one could not make any flower blossom before its time by sheer willpower.

I am so very sorry, but this is not the end of the story :)

Stay tuned for a dash of smut and a lot of ink...

Taglist:

@blairsanne

@narniaandthenorth

@fizzyxcustard

@laurfilijames

@myselfandfantasy

@legolasbadass

@linasofia

@lathalea

@midearthwritings

@guardianofrivendell

@mismaeve

@middleearthpixie

@clumsy-wonderland

@fckmini

-> Part III

#ori #the hobbit #fanfiction #ori the dwarf #ori propaganda #tattoo/flowershop #fluffy AU #Update #tattoo shop #flower shop #pining

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naughtyneganjdm · 3 years

Text

A Compromise - Chapter 10

Summary: After her night with Negan, Y/N finds herself falling fast for him which makes her question all the things she felt before.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC)

Warnings: Swearing, smut, angst, parental abuse, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27834154/chapters/84581761

Notes: Thanks to anyone who reads this for sticking around. I'm sorry real life has been so busy that this has taken me a while. I promise I will have the next chapter up soon!

There wasn’t a lot of things in life that surprised Y/N, but the way that she was feeling right now…that surprised her. After her night with Negan, that’s all she could think about. God, it was incredible. No one had ever gone so out of their way for her like Negan had. With Negan, she felt special. She felt on top of the world and nothing felt like it would bring her down. No one ever accomplished to make her feel that way.

While they were stopped at a red light, Negan’s right hand was settled on her knee and it made her smile. Stretching out her fingers, she curled them around Negan’s and squeezed them tightly within her grasp. Lifting her gaze to Negan, she could see that he was staring over at her. The way he looked at her warmed her heart. There was something in the way that Negan looked at her that made her feel like the only woman in the world. It was a feeling she never knew she craved. All she could keep thinking about was how unbelievable the last day had actually been for her.

It made her sad that they were almost home, but it also made her excited for their future adventures together. Never in her life did she ever think she would feel this way for someone. Being wrapped up so incredibly much by someone would have scared her in the past. Whenever she looked at Negan, her heart fluttered and everything in the world felt right.

There must have been something in the way she was staring at him that gave away she was deep in thought. It made a smirk press in over Negan’s lips and his eyebrows bounced. When he grinned at her, she felt her cheeks flush over and she turned her gaze away from him.

Without saying anything, Negan lifted her up hand up lazily to bring it to his mouth to deposit a faint kiss over the back of it. When her eyes connected with his again, he smiled one of those ridiculously charming smiles. One of those big toothy grins that brought attention to those already so gorgeous dimples. Nothing made her swoon more than those dimples she so often found herself staring at. It was strange how often Negan smiled, but damn it…she loved it. His smiles were contagious.

When Negan gave her a wink, it made her think about the person that she used to be. That part of her was still there and it wanted her to regret her decisions she made with him. It wanted her to think that the emotions and feeling she was having for Negan were wrong, but she didn’t. For so long she had this image of a stereotype of the kind of woman that she needed to be. Constantly in the past, her parents dug in this idea to her that with her career, she couldn’t have love. School and the career came first. It was a constant reminder that had be repeated to her time and time again. It just became a rule for her, but maybe Negan was right. The expectations her parents had for her were unrealistic. They thought that her having a relationship with someone would have her throwing her life away. But with Negan, she didn’t feel like that would ever happen. What was better than having everything she wanted while also having someone who cared for her like Negan did? Wasn’t the best of both worlds a good thing? Even at her best with school, she never felt this happy. With Negan’s support emotionally she felt like she could take on the world while still being happy about it. She genuinely felt that she could achieve greatness with Negan’s help. Now, she didn’t feel alone.

“What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours? You’re either really deep in thought or…?” Negan tried to read her and she realized that she must have been so lost within herself for him to notice. “You keep staring at me a certain way and it’s making me wonder if something is wrong or I have something in my teeth.”

“No, I just am trying to determine if you are something my conscience came up with in order to make me a happier person or if you’re actually real,” she answered almost in a teasing tone, but often she wondered if this was some kind of daydream she came up with. Negan was too good to be true.

Reaching for her hand, Negan placed it over the center of his chest to let her feel the steady heartbeat beneath her fingertips, “Does that feel real enough for you?”

“I look at you and you are the realest thing I’ve ever had in my whole life,” she explained and her answer made him chuckle. What she just said to Negan, that was something in the past she would have rolled her eyes at hearing. If someone would have said that she would have thought the person saying it was stupid. But being with Negan, she understood it now. How fast she was falling for Negan probably wasn’t good. It was just something she couldn’t help. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around why someone like you would want someone like me.”

“I just do. I think you’re perfect,” Negan insisted trying to keep his attention on the road when he thought of what to say to her. The light turned green and he quiet for a moment, trying to gather his own thoughts. “I’m the one with the baggage. I’m just lucky that you finally decided to give this whole dating thing a chance between the two of us.”

“It’s hard to tell you no. You were so damn persistent and I’m glad that I did do this,” she declared with a proud smile thinking about the night that they shared together. “You…you’re incredible.”

“Is that your way of saying you liked the sex?” Negan teased her with a wrinkle of his nose, giving her a quick glance with his mischievous hazel eyes. A small chuckle fell from her throat and he watched her cheeks flush over.

“Obviously,” she felt him pat her on the thigh before caressing over it. A shuddering breath fell from her throat with the closeness of him and she bit down on her bottom lip. It was insane how fast her body reacted to just a simple touch from Negan. “I guess I should be worried if the sex sucked for you since I’m the one that doesn’t have as much experience.”

“Last night wasn’t about the sex. It was about the two of us trusting each other. It was us connecting on a level that shows we’re open to something more. It was something a little bit more than just sex,” Negan stated with a long sigh and she squeezed tightly to his fingers loving to hear him say something like that. “Last night was beautiful.”

“Are you saying you made love to me Negan?” she inquired knowing that’s where is sounded like his comment was going. It almost looked like it embarrassed Negan when she asked him that and he sucked in a sharp breath.

“I guess that depends on if me saying that creeps you out or not. If you are open to the idea, yeah, we made love under the stars,” Negan suggested, his right eyebrow arching when he stole a quick glance at her. “If the idea of me making love to you creeps you out, then no…it was just something more than sex.”

“You’re adorable. You know that?” she was in awe of him being nervous while he talked about them making love. When all of this started with Negan, this wasn’t a version of him that she thought she would ever see. She didn’t know why, but their first few interactions made her think their encounters would be like some cheesy porno film. “First you come at me originally acting like this sexual deviant that is going to fuck my brains out and make me hate the day that I met you, but you’re really this gigantic teddy bear that just wants to be loved.”

“Can I at least be a gigantic sexy teddy bear that is really good at sex, but still wants to be loved?” Negan’s face twisted and it made her laugh upon hearing him ask of that. Negan had an image and she could tell that. Negan probably was often that sexually hungry person that she was talking about, but with her it seemed things were different.

“Yes, you can be my sexy teddy bear,” she agreed to it and Negan’s deep raspy laugh filled the car. “You’re also my extremely sexy sugar daddy.”

“In public I’ll be that, but between the two of us…I’m your teddy bear,” Negan winked as he pulled into the driveway to his home. When the car turned off, she glanced over her shoulder to make sure that her parents weren’t there to see them if she got out. Negan’s eyes were hooked on hers noticing the anxious expression over her face. “What happens the day that your parents find out that we’re dating? It’s going to happen eventually. I’m surprised they haven’t noticed you sneaking over here to be with me.”

“I’d rather not think about that right now,” she explained with a frown. “It has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with them. My dad will not handle it very well. Trust me.”

“I think your parents need to stop treating you like a teenager. You are in your final year of undergraduate school. You should be able to date who you want without your parents getting involved,” Negan pointed out and he could see the way she tilted her head to the side. It was obvious in the way she always got nervous at the idea of her parents seeing them together that her parents still scared her. They ran her life for so long that she was just nervous about how they would react to things. “I know your parents have controlled you most of your life, but you’re a big girl. Who you are dating is none of their business.”

“I know, but…” she went to respond and Negan reached out to stroke over the side of her face with his rough fingertips. Drawing her to him, Negan’s lips meshed in over hers and instead of worrying if her parents would see them she kissed Negan back. Parting her lips, she allowed his tongue to brush up against hers and whimpered when he did it.

“Life gets a lot better when you stop worrying about what everyone else will think of you,” Negan slurred against her lips when he pulled away enough to stare into her eyes. “You are your own woman. You’re perfect. You’re beautiful and you are a badass. Anything you put your mind to, I promise you can achieve. You don’t have to worry about them anymore.”

“God, where were you all my life?” she reached up to brush her fingers through Negan’s dark hair. If she had someone like him in her life before, she knew without a doubt that she would have had more confidence in herself. Her parents were always in the back of her mind, but if she would have met Negan sooner maybe a lot of the negative emotions she was going through right now would have never existed.

“Come on baby, I’m hungry,” Negan deposited a quick kiss over her lips before getting out of the car. Quickly, Negan moved around the car to help her out before leading her toward the house. When Negan got through the door, she pushed him into the house and then slammed him against the wall. A grunt fell from Negan’s throat when he felt her pulling at the belt in his pants. “What are you doing?”

“I still never got to give you that blowjob that you won in the game of laser tag,” she reminded him and an amused smirk pressed in over Negan’s features. With an arrogant bob of his head, Negan reached for her hands and he shook his head. A hushing sound fell from his lips when she gave him a frown. “What now?”

“I don’t want us to be one of those couples. I don’t want us to just have sex all the time,” Negan answered her with a loud sigh. “We’ll still have sex, but I want us to be more than this Y/N. Plus, I told you. I’m hungry.”

“You’re still holding that sex over me, huh?” she bawled up the material of Negan’s shirt at the center of his chest and let out a disappointed breath. Shaking his head, Negan kept his hazel eyes locked on hers and smiled. “Here I was thinking that was all over now that we were together.”

“I’m still going to pamper my beautiful girl,” Negan curled his finger in underneath her chin to lift her gaze to his. Tipping down, he teased his lips over hers and a wicked smile pressed over his handsome features. “I just want to make things special because you deserve nothing, but the best.”

“Which is you. You’re the best,” she tipped up on her toes to bring their lips together so they could kiss. Negan hummed in approval before brushing her hair back behind her ear. “But I guess I can honor your wishes and keep my hands to myself for now.”

“Good girl,” Negan snickered, reaching for her hand to lead her toward the kitchen. “I’m thinking I want waffles this morning. What do you think?”

“Sounds good,” she followed him into the kitchen while he made her sit down so he could pamper her and make her breakfast.

It was hard not to stare and admire him while he went out of his way for her. No one would ever go this above and beyond for her. So the fact that Negan did really surprised her. It was something that was easy to get used to, but it wasn’t something that she expected. After sleeping with Negan, she knew she was falling and potentially too fast.

After they slept together, she had automatically assumed that things would have been strange between them, but it really wasn’t. Negan was exactly the same and that was a good thing. He was very sweet, caring and like he was before. Instead of being distanced, which she pictured could have happened, he wasn’t. There was a fear that she would have felt uncomfortable about their relationship, but she didn’t. She just felt more in awe of him which surprised her all the more.

When she had lost her virginity before Negan, she was repulsed with herself for having sex and hated the person that she did it with. After sleeping with Negan, she felt closer to him and didn’t hate that it didn’t bother her. Things were moving fast between them, but it felt right.

They had their breakfast and afterwards shared a shower together, but Negan stood his ground when it came to the no sex. She was allowed to touch Negan, but it was hard not wanting to be with Negan. Being with him felt good. The attention he gave her and the passion they shared together felt better than anything she had ever experienced.

While she wanted to have sex again with Negan, she also enjoyed just getting to spend time with him. With most people she found herself bored being around them. Maybe that made her an asshole, but she didn’t care. A lot of people didn’t keep her interest. With him, it was easy to be able to enjoy being with him. Getting to learn more about his past and him in general appealed to her.

Their day just consisted of them doing random odds and ends together. They just relaxed. They watched television. They talked about their lives. Had dinner and at the end of the night they were headed to bed together. Before they could finish getting ready for bed though, Negan had gotten a call from Sam who wanted to talk to him before going to sleep.

Negan was sitting on the corner of the bed talking with Sam and Y/N sat watching the way Negan reacted to talking to his niece. She got a kick out of the fact that her boyfriend’s best friend was his twelve-year-old niece. Sam had called when they were getting ready for bed, so Negan didn’t get to change into pajamas, but Y/N had. This was something special about Negan. His niece meant everything to him and she loved that about him.

“I’m not lying to you,” Negan snickered, giving Y/N a glance over his shoulder and he made a dramatic expression. “She told me herself that she liked the whole thing. You weren’t wrong in suggesting taking her to the place. Why would I lie to you? We went on the air balloon after and then laid under the stars the rest of the night.”

When Negan laughed, Y/N was charmed with the whole interaction. The fact he would talk about her to his niece really touched her heart. Considering his niece was very special to him and she knew that his family knowing about her was a big deal.

“Yes dear,” Negan pulled the phone from his ear and held it out toward Y/N. Her eyes surveyed the phone wondering what Negan wanted. “She doesn’t believe me, so she wants to talk to you herself. I don’t get why she thinks I would lie about something like that, but…”

Once she grabbed the phone from Negan, he dramatically threw his hands up in the air with a shrug and headed for his dresser to pull out some pajama pants. When he headed toward the bathroom, her eyes followed his movements. Talking to Sam was a bit daunting, but she wasn’t about to say no considering who it was.

“Hello?” she found herself stretching out to watch Negan further while he pulled his shirt from his body and her throat went dry watching him.

“Holy shit, you really are there!” Sam’s amused voice filled the other side of the phone and it made Y/N laugh hearing it. “I don’t know why, I just kind of felt like he might have been lying to me so that way I didn’t feel bad for him.”

“Why would he do that?” she questioned, her nose wrinkling when she turned her attention away from the bathroom when she heard Sam say that.

“I worry him about him being alone and sometimes I just thought he was telling me things to make me not worry as much about him. Things weren’t exactly the best for him after Aunt Lucille died, so to hear that you two are having fun and super happy just…I don’t know, I guess it makes me happy,” Sam explained and it made a warmth flood Y/N’s chest when she thought about what Negan’s niece was saying. “It’s the first time I’ve heard him sound happy in a long time. So, thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me kiddo. I should be thanking you,” she proclaimed seeing that Negan moved to the door to watch her while he brushed his teeth. He was leaning against the door shirtless and in his pajama pants while she talked to Sam. “It was apparently your idea to go to that place we went first and that was the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”

“Even after playing laser tag?” Sam teased making Y/N chuckle when she thought back to how seriously Negan took the game. “He gets kind of intense about that whole game. Try having him take you and your friends to play laser tag. At this point, I just always say it’s going to be me and him against everyone. Most of my friends will laugh because they think they are going to kill us. They don’t realize he's my secret weapon. After we absolutely crush them, they never want to play again with us.”

“Yeah, he is a bit of laser tag pro,” she admitted hearing Negan snort before heading back into the bathroom to continue to brush his teeth, “but I had a lot of fun with it. I can’t recall the last time that I had as much fun with anyone compared to the fun I’ve had with Negan.”

“That makes me happy to hear,” Sam admitted with a tired yawn and it made Y/N smirk. Taking a glance at the time, she knew it was late and wondered how late Sam’s mothers allowed her to be up. “I heard you weren’t a fan of the air balloon, but you liked the laying under the stars together?”

“The idea of falling out of the air balloon terrified me, yes,” Y/N recalled and it made Sam giggle on the other end. “I just kept picturing myself as a pancake and yeah, that was not my bravest moment. I tell you that. But the night under the stars was very romantic and I enjoyed it a lot.”

“It sounds romantic,” Sam confessed with another yawn and Y/N heard on the other end of the phone what she assumed to be one of Sam’s mothers urging her to go to sleep. Sam grumbled and obviously didn’t like being told what to do. “So when am I going to spend some time with the two of you again?”

“Well, I’m comfortable with you coming over any time you want. I think Negan and I will be spending more time together and I would have so much more fun going to the place we did with you I think,” she stated knowing that she had told Negan the same thing the day before, but it was true. “I think you would be able to probably help me when it came to the whole laser tag thing. Us girls against him.”

“Yeah, we’d like to think so, but he’d still kill us,” Sam giggled making Y/N laugh when Sam said it the way she did. Again one of Sam’s mothers was yelling at her to go to bed. Sam called out something and then came back to the phone. “But I would love to do that with the two of you! It was nice talking to you Y/N, but would you be okay with giving Negan the phone back? I have to say goodnight before I get grounded for being up too late on the phone. My mom is having a freak attack.”

“Sure thing kiddo. It was nice talking with you,” Y/N snapped her fingers to get Negan’s attention when he finished up brushing his teeth. “Sam wants to say goodnight. Her mom wants her off the phone or she’s going to get in trouble.”

“That would be Jane,” Negan informed her with a grunt and a roll of his eyes. When Negan said the name, she recalled all the information Sam fed her when she was here the first time. Elaina was Lucille’s sister and she was the calm on. Jane was the uptight mother that they spoke about. When Negan accepted the phone, she got comfortable in the bed and watched Negan pace. “Goodnight kiddo. I love you. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye honey.”

When he hung up, he turned to face Y/N and he could see the way that she was staring at him with a smirk, “What?”

“The two of you are just cute,” she insisted and cuddled her head in closer to the pillow. Negan turned the lights off and crawled in over her on the bed. Reaching for her wrists, Negan pinned them down beside her head while he hooked his fingers with hers. “I just think it’s charming you are like this tattooed, badass looking guy and your best friend is a twelve-year-old.”

“Well, that’s your first mistake. Sam is quite the badass herself. I wouldn’t fuck with that little girl,” Negan warned with a playfulness in his tone while he smiled down at her. Hovering his lips over hers, Negan teased her with the hints of a kiss, but didn’t allow her one. “I’m not embarrassed to have a twelve-year-old be my best friend.”

“You shouldn’t be, it’s adorable,” she lifted up to try and kiss Negan, but he pulled back enough to let out a snort when she whined. “The two of you together are something people wish they could have with their own kids.”

“Right,” Negan’s smile slowly faded and he swallowed down hard before biting into his bottom lip. “So you haven’t had any changes in your decisions with dating me? I was kind of waiting the first forty-eight hours to make sure you didn’t have a panic attack over this whole thing.”

“I should be having a panic attack, but nope,” she noticed that Negan allowed one of her hands to be released and she reached up to trace her fingers over the side of his masculine face. “I’m very much happy with the decision that I made.”

“Me too,” Negan slurred, finally lowering down to delicately trace his lips over hers. It caused her to shudder and over time the kiss got more passionate. Hooking her fingers into Negan’s hair, she felt him getting more comfortable over her and his tired eyes looked her over when they finally parted. “You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you,” she gave him a wink and it made him smirk. Peppering a few final kisses over her lips, Negan took his time to stare at her under him. There was something in the way he looked at her that gave her chills. Adjusting his weight, Negan dropped down beside her and wrapped his arm around her waist when she turned onto her side. Grunting, he realized he hadn’t turned off the light that was beside the bed. Lifting up, he outstretched his arm and tugged at the light to get it turned off.

Getting comfortable for bed was so much easier than it was before. Most nights, all it took for her to fall asleep was Negan wrapping her up in his arms and she was out like a light. Being with him she felt comfortable and safe. It felt amazing being wrapped up in his arms, but while she liked this…her mind was other places. Like where they were the night before. Biting into her bottom lip, she thought about what it felt like to have Negan inside of her and making love to her. It was a sensation that she craved again. It was drawing her to have goosebumps just at the thought of it. While she knew that Negan said he didn’t want to focus on sex, she couldn’t help yearning for just another time between them. Being this close to him had her body on fire.

Knowing that she promised to try to keep her hands to herself, she pulled her hips a bit forward. The warmth radiating from his body behind her was definitely having its effects on her. With Negan’s deep breaths filling the air, it was obvious that he had fallen asleep already. Which made her to cuss to herself because she wished he may have been having the same reaction to this that she was. Closing her eyes, she attempted to force herself to think about something different. She counted. Hell, that wasn’t working. Sucking at her bottom lip, she thought of trying to think of school things to help her, but that wasn’t helping either. Nothing was. This wasn’t exactly something she could control.

Oh hell. What was the worst that could happen? Negan could tell her no and then she would be forced to cool it?

Looking over her shoulder, she watched Negan sleeping, but her promiscuous side was getting the best of her. Sliding her hips back, she purposely brushed her bottom in over his groin and hummed to herself when she did it. Taking things slow at first, she took her time rocking her bottom over him. Watching his reactions over her shoulder while he slept was turning her on all the more. Originally, she wondered if Negan was even going to wake up. He wasn’t lying when he told her that he was tired. Yet, his body was reacting to her movements. The sound of his breathing hitched and she felt him tense up behind her when he finally woke up.

Instead of fighting with her, he stayed still and she wondered if he was attempting to pretend that he was still sleeping. Pushing harder back against him, she heard a growl escape his throat and his head lowered down to press a kiss against the side of her neck.

“You are relentless,” Negan slurred while she continued to rub herself up against him. The pressure she was using was much harder than that of what she started with. Sliding his palm in over the side of her hip drew him to moan when she ground back harder against him. “You were going to do this until you got what you wanted. Huh?”

“I’m good like that,” she turned her head so Negan’s lips could brush over hers. With his mouth eagerly covering hers, she knew that she could feel his cock hard against her ass while she took no time in continuing to draw herself back against him. Cooing into Negan’s mouth when his tongue brushed between her lips, she knew that this was probably a battle she was winning which excited her. Gasping, she felt Negan’s hands tugging roughly at the material of her pajama pants while still keeping her on her side in front of him. The material stuck a bit, but Negan was determined to get them low enough to where he wanted.

“I think you’re very fucking naughty if you ask me,” Negan rumbled, pulling his lips from hers while nipping seductively at her bottom lip. She let him move her where he wanted on the bed. They were both on their sides, facing away from each other, but she was eager to move in whatever way he wanted her. Roughly, he pulled her hips back as close to him as he could. His masculinity was obvious beneath the material of his pajamas as it pressed against her bottom, but that’s not what he was focusing on. His arm curled around her hips, urging one of her thighs up just enough so he could caress his rough fingertips over her clitoris. “I think you need to be punished. Here I am trying to sleep and get some rest. You just won’t allow that, will you?”

“Negan,” she whimpered out his name feeling his fingers tracing the length of her body before thrusting one of his long, slender digits firmly into her body. Her eyes slammed shut when Negan inserted a second. Over and over again he thrust them inside of her, curling his fingers just right to hit the perfect spot. The friction from his palm rubbing over her clitoris was causing her thighs to twitch. Crying out, Negan seemed to nip harder at her jawline and she clutched tightly to his pajama pants. “Negan!”

“Nope,” Negan pulled his fingers away from her body, his thick laughter teasing against the side of her neck when he denied her an orgasm. A whine escaped her throat and he let out a proud sound. “You won’t let me sleep. I won’t let you cum.”

“Please,” she panted, reaching for his hand to try to lead it back toward her core again. “I’m sorry.”

“You like daddy’s long fingers inside of you?” Negan questioned and she immediately nodded. The warmth of his breath against the back of her neck caused her to shudder. A chill ran down her spine and hearing him talk like that sent a flooding warmth to her core. “Say it.”

“I love daddy’s fingers inside of me,” she repeated what he wanted to hear and soon enough his fingers were back inside of her, pumping away. Shuddering when Negan’s warm breath pressed in over her ear, she kept her eyes closed and listened to his loud breathing. Occasionally he would nibble at her earlobe, her jawline, her neck…little places that would drive her absolutely wild while he pleasured her with his fingers.

“Do you like the way that feels baby? Do you like daddy pampering you?” Negan slurred against her earlobe before pressing a teasing kiss over her flesh. “Do you want to cum all over daddy’s fingers?”

“Yes!” she cried out, her head falling back and resting against his collarbone when a flood of warmth filled her body. Reaching down to grasp at Negan’s wrist, she knew that she was desperate. Tensing up, she wanted to chase after the orgasm that he was building up inside of her, but a loud whimper escaped her throat when he pulled his fingers from her again. Negan was working her right up to the point where she was about to cum only to stop. “What the hell Negan?”

“I told you that you were a bad girl that needed to be punished,” Negan reminded her, lifting his fingers up to his lips to look them over. A wicked smirk pressed in over his tired, handsome features before he took the tips of them between his lips. Sucking at them in a seductive manner made her moan just at the sight while she stared back at him over her shoulder. Reaching back, she tugged at his hair to get him closer to her so her mouth could meet his and he hummed against her lips. “Do you want to have that orgasm baby?”

“So bad,” she purred when his tongue swept at the inside of her bottom lip which drew her to shake against him.

“Then you have to work for it,” Negan bucked his hips forward against her bottom and she cried out knowing that her body was already shaking in his arms with him spooning her from behind. “You can do whatever you want, you just can’t leave the position you are in now.”

“I can do whatever I want? That means I can use you in whatever way I please?” she excitedly tried to gather the details. Her response made an amused smirk tug at his lips when she looked over her shoulder at him. Nodding once, she let out a shuddering breath trying to determine how she was going to get things the way she wanted. “I just have to stay on my side?”

“Yes baby girl,” Negan growled, nipping at her jawline when she reached back to grab at his pajama pants. Dipping her hand beneath the waistband, her palm wrapped around Negan’s solid cock and she unhurriedly traced her fingers over his length. When she reached the tip, she felt the precum collecting at the tip and it made her smile. “You like that?”

“You know I do,” she purred with the warmth of his breath at the side of her neck. Releasing his erection, she attempted to pull the material down his hips with her free hand. When she was having trouble, Negan lifted his hips to help her. Getting the material just down below his hips, she bit at her bottom lip while stealing a glance behind her. The length of his masculinity traced over her bottom and she eagerly reached back to grasp at his body again. His thick cock was completely solid. The veins were prominent and she was in awe of him. “You know, you clearly want this just as bad as I do?”

“Oh, he does for sure. Me, I was sleeping,” Negan snicked, nuzzling his nose against the back of her neck when she led the tip of his erection to tease it over her most intimate parts. It drew his eyes to close and he grunted. “Now that I’m awake, of course I want what he wants.”

“I thought so,” she was amused with his reaction, licking at her lips while she traced the head of his cock through her wet folds. “I hope you realize the control you gave me here. Full control of this big guy.”

“Condom first,” Negan pointed toward the nightstand after opening his eyes and she immediately shook her head. Snapping his fingers, he winced when she continued to tease him over the length of her body. “What do you mean no?”

“You just said I can do what I want with you, but I can’t leave the position I’m in. I want you inside of me like this,” she slurred and Negan’s eyes narrowed, his pupils dilating with desire. The way he was looking at her made chills run down her spine. “Are you going to go back on your own rules?”

“Touché,” Negan grumbled, his tongue clicking against the top of his mouth while keeping his stare locked on hers. “I guess I can’t go back on my word now, can I? What kind of man would that make me?”

Dragging her tongue over her bottom lip, she chuckled before lining up the root to his masculinity with her entrance. Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat when she pushed her hips back over him making him immediately moan upon her warmth surrounding him. A gasp fell from her throat when she pushed her hips further back over his hard cock taking maybe a little more of him than she was prepared for. She was wet enough, but that didn’t change the fact he was still big.

“Fuck me…” Negan groaned from behind her and she looked over her shoulder to see that he was glancing down between them to see his length sinking into her. His palm reached down to squeeze at her bottom and she took notice of the way he was breathing. A surprised sound fell from her throat when he swatted playfully at her bottom. “That’s essentially what you’re going to do, right? Fuck yourself with my cock?”

“Yes,” she didn’t have much of a smart remark when Negan’s hand snaked up and around her to caress up underneath her shirt to squeeze at her full breast. He gave her permission, so essentially, that’s exactly what she was going to do. Lifting enough, she helped Negan pull her shirt from her body and the cool air around them caused her to tremor.

It took a minute for her to get accustomed to him. While she wanted to tell herself she could jump right into this, this was still the second time she had slept with Negan and she had to ease herself into things. Get used to the fullness that she was feeling with him inside of her.

“Do you like the way that tight, wet pussy feels?” she used her dirty talk, making his eyes raise up to her and his lips were agape. The sound of his loud breathing filled the air around them. While the first time was more romantic and was them making love, this was very much a dirtier experience between them. “Much better than it did with that condom, right?”

“You are so fucking naughty,” Negan slurred with a wrinkle of his nose and he pressed his head in closer to her. Adjusting behind her, Negan pressed himself up against her back which led a significant amount of his cock to be buried deep inside of her. “Fuck.”

“Negan,” she reached for his thigh to dig her fingers into the warmth of his flesh. Crying out, she took in the sensation of him filling her and she never realized how much she would actually enjoy it. Negan bit at her jawline, his growl falling from his throat when her hand caressed down his thigh. There wasn’t much movement between them yet, but just having him inside of her felt amazing. “You feel so good.”

With an uneasiness, she rolled her hips back and took him further into her before pulling her hips forward. The sound that Negan make drew chills to fill her entire body and while she wasn’t exactly sure how to do this right in this positioning, she was finding the way that things felt good for her. Negan wasn’t lying when he told her that she had to work for it. He wasn’t moving other than keeping his hand settled in over her hip while kissing over her jawline.

“Fuck,” Negan grunted when she found a movement that seemed to work for the both of them. Clutching to Negan’s thigh and using her grasp at the side of the bed helped her rock herself over his cock. “Damn baby girl you really want that orgasm, don’t you?”

The smacking of their skin filled the air and Negan’s faint moans were in tune with her cries while she used his body in the best way she could in the position that they were in. Nuzzling his nose against the side of her neck, Negan grunted against her flesh and it made her tremble. She wished the rules weren’t that she had to stay in this position, but she was making the most use of it that she could.

“You really wanted that dick,” Negan chuckled feeling his body tensing up and he looked down to watch her body sink down over his length down to the base and then pull up repeatedly. It was surprising how well she took him with it just being her second time with him. “Fuck…fucking…”

A whine escaped her parted lips when Negan nipped at her sensitive flesh. The warmth from her movements started radiating into her belly and flooded its way out through the rest of her, “please Negan…”

“You’re almost there,” Negan encouraged her noticing that she was shaking while her fingertips dug into his flesh. Noticing that she was slowing down, Negan started bucking his hips forward to meet her thrusts back onto his erection. Each movement had her mewling out in delight until he felt her tight walls contracting around him. When she clearly reached her orgasm, she went to pull her hips away from him in a moment of pure ecstasy, but Negan kept her where she was so he could experience her orgasm around his cock. “There you go…good girl.”

After allowing her a moment to come down from the high of her orgasm, Negan kept her where she was while pampering her with kisses over her neck and over her jawline. A gasp fell from her throat when Negan pulled his body from hers and then pinned her underneath him. A thin layer of sweat covered Negan’s body and his arrogant smile expanded over his features. Negan’s wet hair was in his eyes and a whine fell from her throat when his flesh smacked up against hers. One fluid thrust and he was inside of her completely, filling her to the brim. “One time sleeping with me and you’re already addicted to my cock.”

A crack of a smile tugged at the corners of her lips as Negan reached for her legs to put them over his shoulders. With his rough palms settling in over her bottom, she whimpered when he started thrusting into her again and again. Tossing her head back, she knew that her body was already so sensitive that it wouldn’t take much for Negan to get her to another orgasm. With the friction of his groin smacking up against her clitoris and his thick body stretching her in ways she never felt before, it had her crying out in absolute bliss. Tossing her head back, she reached for Negan’s wrists and wrapped her fingers tightly around them.

“Negan,” she cried out his name, opening her eyes enough to see that Negan was smiling as her body started to shake when he got her to another orgasm in no time. That was the look of a proud man. He knew he caused it and fuck he was cocky, but she loved it. Her second orgasm was intensified and it left her breathless.

Lowering her legs, Negan pressed in over her and she desperately clung to his shoulders. Kissing at the side of his neck, she felt his powerful movements over her and she was surprised just how good this felt with him too. It was definitely something she would have to get used to, but her body liked it and it liked it a lot. Negan was big and she felt it. Especially today. Dragging her right hand up, she sank her fingers into Negan’s hair. The breaths escaping Negan’s throat became more desperate and soon they became pants.

“I’m almost there,” he alerted her, his nose nuzzling against the side of her neck. With his groans vibrating against the side of her neck, she dragged her nails down his back which drew him to wince. Cupping his bottom in her palm, she appreciated the flesh flexing and relaxing beneath her touch while he pounded up against her. “Shit.”

In a hurry, he pulled his hips back to leave her with an empty feeling. The warmth from his release covered her lower abdomen while she clung tightly to him, not ready to let him go. Negan buried his nose against the side of her neck, his loud breathing causing chills to fill her entire body. The room was spinning around her and she felt like she was in a state of euphoria. What Negan had brought her to was absolute bliss. Her heart was pounding away inside of her chest. Everything was tingling and she ached, but God it felt good.

Negan lowered in over her, cuddling his head against her shoulder while he caught his breath and she found herself stroking her fingers at the bottom of his neck teasing at the short curls of hair that were there, “Thank you.”

Pulling back just enough to look down at her, his nose wrinkled and he laughed, “Did you just thank me?”

“I sure as fuck did,” she confidently answered before tugging his mouth to hers while kissing him enthusiastically. Nibbling at his bottom lip, she took her time to enjoy the warmth of him over her and she shook her head. “I ache, but I feel so good.”

“You’re welcome?” Negan’s right eyebrow arched up and he snickered against her lips. Motioning her to wait, he got up from the bed and reached for the tissues that were on the dresser. When he returned, he sat on the edge of the bed. Taking a look at her abdomen lowering and rising made him smile. Reaching out, he traced his fingers over her ribs and it made her giggle when he did it. “You wiggle too much.”

“Sorry, I’m ticklish,” she apologized and it made Negan smirk. Taking his time, he took a few tissues and cleaned his release from her body. When he was tossing the tissues in the trash beside the bed, she reached out to squeeze her fingers around his thigh. “You didn’t have to pull out, you know.”

Telling him that made him smirk and his eyes looked her over while she was laid out in the center of his bed. Tracing his fingers from her inner hip, up toward her abdomen and between her breasts made a whimper escape her lips. Arching up toward him, she noticed him lowering down and he peppered kisses over her chest.

“I know,” Negan bit down on his bottom lip when he lifted his gaze to her. Getting up, he carefully lowered himself to lay over her in a way where his weight was balanced on his left arm so he wouldn’t hurt her. Resting his head against her shoulder, he couldn’t help but smile when she instinctively wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “It’s hard to read you.”

“What do you mean?” she stroked her fingers through his hair, nestling her head in next to his while he laid over her. With anyone else, she was certain that she would have felt claustrophobic, but with Negan she actually enjoyed this close contact with him.

“I mean, I want to be the man that wants to make love to you and be romantic with you,” Negan began with a long, dramatic sigh. Pausing to take a minute, he faintly kissed over her collarbone and traced his rough fingertips over her chest. “While I think you like that, I also think you would rather me be dirty with you.”

“I’m okay with a bit of both,” she blurt out with a snicker before leaning in to press a kiss over the top of his head. “Hey, you originally sold me on the whole dominant relationship with you here. You can’t blame me for being the slightest bit interested.”

“And what do you prefer?” Negan lifted his head, his right eyebrow raising to try and read her reaction to his question.

“It depends on the moment,” she palmed in over the side of his rough face, admiring him even more when he leaned into her touch. “I think both were great and depending on what’s going on, I’ll happily take either one.”

“So it’s all about reading a situation, huh?” Negan teased her with a smirk and lowered his head back down to cuddle it in over her. “I guess you’re always going to keep me on my toes then. Has this at all let you down in any way?”

“Sleeping with you?” she questioned and he nodded which made her laugh. “Negan, you have no idea how much I’ve liked it. The first time I slept with someone I didn’t understand why people liked it or wanted to do it. With you, I get it. Yeah, I ache, but it’s worth it. Plus…this…”

“What?” his voice vibrated against her skin while he kissed over her chest.

“Being in your arms. The way you look at me and touch me,” she brushed Negan’s hair back behind his ear. Her heart was still hammering inside of her chest. Nothing had ever enamored her like this had. She looked forward to every moment with Negan and she could never recall feeling that way about anything in her life. “It’s the most incredible, addictive feeling I’ve ever had in my life.”

Without a word, Negan lifted his head and stared out at her with surprise. The way his eyes narrowed made her nervous, but unhurriedly a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Stretching out, his lips met hers in a delicate caress and her comment seemed to make him happy to hear. Kissing him was remarkable and absolutely took her breath away.

“Well I’m glad you feel that way,” Negan hummed against her lips, nibbling gently at her bottom lip, “because I feel the same way about you and I’m eager to do whatever I can to keep you in my life.”

“As if you have to try,” she cupped his squared jaw in her palms and eyed him over. “You’re perfection. I’m lucky that you even looked twice at me Negan. Someone would be crazy to let you slip through their fingers. You’re everything someone could want and more.”

Negan cuddled his head in next to hers and she felt on top of the world being with him. Negan was gorgeous. He was good with kids. He was fun. He was romantic. There were so many layers to him and she was excited that he was allowing her to get to discover them. For the first time in her life, with Negan she felt at ease at nights. Her fears no longer ruled her thoughts. Often, she would worry about tomorrow and the future, but with Negan, all she cared about was what was happening in the moment.

It was incredible how fast time flew with Negan. In the past, days were boring and long. There was always a fear of her future but getting to spend her time with Negan was phenomenal. She looked forward to it. Being with Negan changed her in a lot of good ways. Instead of being worried and scared all the time she actually looked forward to her days. Yeah, the thought of that schoolboard meeting that was scheduled was always on her mind, but that wasn’t the only thing for her anymore.

Over the next couple of weeks, they spent every moment together when he wasn’t working. Even when he was working, she found herself lounging around his home working on things for herself. There was no need for her to really go home to her parents. Of course she would stop by here and there to let her parents know that she wasn’t dead, but she had everything she needed at Negan’s home.

Y/N and Negan really didn’t have a lot of sex because there was never enough time in the day to get it all in. Actually, a lot of their time was spent with Sam. Multiple times Sam came over to hang out with them and it was really nice getting to spend time with her when things weren’t so tense. Together, she had a lot of fun with Sam. Negan’s niece was a good kid and reminded Y/N a lot of herself when she was younger. She wished she would have had a family like Sam because then she may have had a bit of happiness in her life. Sam was very loved and Y/N was very appreciative that Sam was including her in this life.

On this specific day, Y/N woke up in Negan’s bed feeling joyful. The night before they had just curled up and watched movies together before falling asleep. It was the simple things in life that appealed to her, but these were moments that she would have never found herself doing before dating Negan. Dating life scared the hell out of her in the past, but with Negan she found herself getting very comfortable with it. Negan had to go to work today and she didn’t often get up when he did. Instead, she would sleep in and get a little bit more rest. It was her phone vibrating on the nightstand that had woken her. Reaching out, she grabbed a hold of it to see that Negan had texted her to let her know that he left his wallet on the counter in the kitchen. Tonight, he was supposed to go out with a friend from work which meant he was going to need it. So he asked her to bring it to him while he was working.

Getting up was hard, but at the same time, she was excited at the idea of getting to see Negan at work. When she got up, she took a quick shower and then went to grab his wallet. The movement was quick and she ended up dropping it on the floor to have it flip open on the floor. Kneeling down she reached for it to see the photo that it had opened to was Lucille and Negan together. Stroking her thumb over the picture, she felt her throat go dry knowing that Negan’s late wife wasn’t something she often thought about. Maybe it should have been though since she was still his first picture in his wallet and he still wore his wedding ring, even this far into their relationship. Flipping to the next set of pictures she could see that he had multiple photos of Sam in his wallet. There was also a few random photos, but when she fell upon a photo of Negan with a very obviously sick Lucille, she felt her heart ache.

At this point, she knew a lot about Negan’s relationship with Lucille and his past, but she still didn’t know when Lucille died. How long ago had it been? Negan was very open about things before Lucille got sick, but he wasn’t exceedingly open about after she was diagnosed. Looking at the last photo in his wallet, she noticed that it was a photo of her with Negan and it made her smirk. Clearly Negan had a photo from his phone printed out to put in there and it charmed her. They were not even a month into their dating and she was already in his wallet?

Taking notice that something was sticking out, she reached for it to see that it was the photo strip that they had done with Sam at the mall the other day. Sam was sitting between the two of them and she found herself enchanted that Negan had kept it in his wallet. It was a fun day that they shared and the silly expressions in the pictures they took made her smile. Instead of spying any further on his personal items, she closed his wallet back up and headed to his work. The one thing his wallet made her realize is that she had so many unanswered questions that were still there about Lucille. Ones that she knew she would have to approach with caution, but her curiosity was getting the best of her and she knew that.

When she got to Negan’s work, she parked in the lot that Negan directed her to do. He told her to walk around the school to come and give him his wallet on the baseball diamond that they had. Part of her was nervous about approaching him at the school. She remembered how strict her school was about people visiting and it made her worry if she was going to get tackled just for being here without announcing herself. It was hard not looking over her shoulder every second just to make sure the security at the school didn’t go crazy on her just for being on the premises.

As she started approaching the baseball diamond, she saw that Negan was out in the middle of it talking to a few of the students. The rest of them were spread out all around except for the few that were surrounding him. When a few of the students noticed her approaching first, Negan looked over his shoulder and smiled when he saw her stepping in beside the gate that was near the dugout. Swallowing down hard, she knew this was the first time she had ever seen him working. He was wearing a baseball cap, a white t-shirt and athletic pants that made her bite at her bottom lip. If Negan would have been her gym teacher when she was in high school, she was certain that she would have been in trouble because she would have wanted to be in his class twenty-four-seven.

After a second, Negan turned toward her and started running toward where she was standing. As he approached, he slowed down and his smile expanded over his handsome features. It was one that immediately drew her attention to his gorgeous dimples. That was always something that won her over with Negan. All he had to do was smile and she had butterflies in her stomach.

“Hello gorgeous,” Negan approached her, outstretching his hands to settle them in over her sides. Surprised with his forward movements, she was tense as he lowered down to her to brush his lips over hers. Worried that he would get in trouble for kissing her, she had trouble kissing him back. But he didn’t seem worried which soon relaxed her. Curling her fingers around the back of his neck, she kissed him back and heard Negan growl when he pulled away. One of the students whistled which made Negan throw his middle finger up when they did it. Immediately she felt a laugh fall from her throat and a few of his students laughed. “I’m sorry you had to come here and put up with these little shits.”

“I’m not, it was nice getting to see you in this get up. Why don’t you wear those pants more often?” she whispered quiet enough so the kids in his class couldn’t hear them. When she said that, Negan’s head lowered and a wicked grin spread out over his handsome features. “Those are…nice.”

“You like them?” Negan sucked at his bottom lip and arched his right eyebrow in curiosity. “I’ll have to wear them for you at home then.”

“Are you wearing anything underneath?” she stepped close enough to him making an amused sound fall from Negan’s throat. Negan’s head did a cocky bob and he looked back over his shoulder to make sure the students weren’t paying attention to them.

“You’re naughty, you know that?” Negan slurred when she reached for his wallet to pull it from her bag. She lifted it enough for Negan to grab it and slide it into his pocket. “So…what are you going to do tonight?”

“What? You need to know where I’m at all times?” she teased him, reaching up to circle her fingers in over the center of his chest and Negan’s hazel eyes narrowed at her when she said it. With a tilt of his head, he smirked.

“Trust me baby, I’d much rather be home with you,” Negan reached up to wrap his fingers around her wrist. Something changed in Negan’s face and he lowered his stare from her. What was that? It was like a switch and she didn’t know how to read that. “This is just something…something one of my friends here wanted to do. I kind of couldn’t get out of it.”

“I understand,” she watched him take off his baseball cap to brush his fingers through his hair to slick it back. Noticing that his attitude seemed to change a bit, she lifted her hand to swipe her thumb in over the curve of his chiseled jaw. “I figured since I’ve kind of ditched my parents completely since I started dating you, that I would have dinner with them tonight. I guess my mom is making my favorite.”

“Aw, they missed you,” Negan winked at her, reaching out to loosely wrap his arms around her waist again. When he leaned in to kiss her, she pulled away and let out a nervous sound. “What?”

“Your entire class is watching the two of us,” she alerted him, noticing over his shoulder that every single one of his students was staring at the two of them together. When Negan looked over his shoulder most of them immediately looked away.

“You nosey little shits,” Negan called out with a laugh and he threw his hand up in the air. “Run the bases while I’m busy. Do something!”

“You can talk to them like that?” she was amused to see the students do what Negan told them. When he turned back to her, his nose was wrinkled and he was laughing. “You would think you would get in trouble talking to them like that.”

“Ah, no. We are chill. They know I’m a sarcastic shit and they give it back for the most part,” Negan informed her with a shake of his head when he leaned back in to pepper kisses over her lips making her laugh when he pulled her playfully in closer to his chest. “I hope you enjoy your time tonight with your parents. Are you going to stay over there tonight or are you coming back to my place after dinner?”

“Are you kidding me? Sleep in my cold lonely bed or sleep with your arms around me?” she acted like it was a hard decision and Negan snorted when she was being dramatic.

“You’ve been with me every day since we started dating. I didn’t know if you would eventually want alone time. I don’t have a problem with you in bed with me tonight though,” Negan insisted with a loud sigh and he pressed a loving kiss over her cheek. “I’m glad it’s Friday so I can sleep in tomorrow. It will be nice to have a break.”

“Getting to sleep in with you in the mornings is one of my favorite things,” she alerted him with a hum and tipped up to kiss him again which led to a few of the students letting out teasing sounds. “You better get back to work.”

“I’ll see you tonight,” Negan rolled his eyes at his students’ reaction to them kissing and stepped back away from her. “Thank you for bringing this to me. I’d be lost without you.”

“You know it,” she winked and watched him run back to the students where one of them started hackling Negan about his girlfriend. It made her laugh, but she knew she needed to leave before someone picked up on her being there.

Stealing one final glance, she enjoyed the sights of him interacting with the students. Negan was good with kids. Even if he was being a smartass with them.

Heading back to her car, she decided to go home to Negan’s. For a while she stayed at Negan’s place, but knew when it started getting toward the time she was supposed to go back home with her parents that she should head over to help her mother make the dinner.

When she showed up, her mother welcomed her with a big hug and it was nice to see that she was missed at least. Y/N had always thought that she could just disappear and her parents would never give a shit at the end of the day. Her mother alerted her to the fact that her father was working on something, but would join them when dinner was ready.

Going straight to helping her mother with dinner, they were rather quiet. There wasn’t much to talk about that she could freely do since she was dating Negan. So if her mother wanted to talk, Y/N would let her, but she wasn’t going to freely open up about details going on in her personal life.

Dinner was surprisingly quiet because her father didn’t say much. They just talked about random odds and ends. When they finished with dinner, her father said he would do the dishes since they had cooked the dinner. As her father left the room, Y/N could see that her mother was staring out at her. It was what she would consider a judgmental stare and it made Y/N look down to make sure that she didn’t spill anything on her during the meal, “What is it?”

“So, who is the guy?” her mother finally questioned after leaving her hanging after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. Immediately, a warmth flushed into her cheeks and she looked away from her mother. “You were always here. Then you got this job and I can only assume you’ve met a boy. You actually look happy. It’s something I haven’t seen in a very long time. Usually you’re really tense. Today, I think I’ve seen you smile more than I’ve seen you smile before.”

“Wow,” she hesitantly laughed hating that her mother was so observant and sadly knew that there was a man in her life. Did she really give off that big of a vibe to other people? The old her would have been mad at the idea that she looked happier because of a man, but it was true. It was all due to Negan that she was like this and she knew it. “He’s a really good guy.”

“So it is a boyfriend?” her mother’s eyebrow arched and Y/N couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips and she nodded. She knew deep down that she had to keep things somewhat a secret now because of the fact that it was Negan that she was dating. “What’s he like?”

“I don’t know how to describe him,” she thought for a moment letting out a long sigh. “He’s the sweetest, most caring man I’ve ever met. He’s funny, charming, handsome…all of the best details you could put into a man. I’ve never…felt like this before and it’s because of him. I’ve never met someone who has encouraged me to be the best version of myself while also being happy. He’s perfect. Everything I could have dreamt of and more.”

“Wow, it sounds like you’re in love already,” her mother snickered, reaching out to place her hand over Y/N’s and it made Y/N’s heart flutter inside of her chest. Pulling her hand back, she didn’t know if it was too soon to be using a word like that. Love. That was a big word. “When will we get to meet him?”

“I don’t know mom. It’s kind of fast,” she reasoned with her mother and she swallowed down hard. “I’m still trying to determine if this a permanent thing. I mean, I consider him my boyfriend and I love every moment I’ve spent with him.”

“It sounds like a dream come true to me,” her mother pointed out and it made Y/N laugh before lowering her head. Negan was a dream come true. Fuck, being with him scared the shit out of her because she couldn’t believe the ways that Negan made her feel.

“He is pretty dreamy. I hate to admit it mom, but this man has proven to me that everything I thought about dating is bullshit. In the short time we’ve been together, I’m not sure anyone knows me better than he does. He wants to know who I am. He wants to help me become a better version of me. He pampers me, he takes cares of me, he is the sweetest man you would ever meet,” she continued to swoon about Negan knowing that even tonight she was disappointed that she wasn’t with him. “In his arms I feel safer than I have my entire life. I used to worry every day about my future. With him in my life, I’m not so much worried about it anymore. He gives me confidence that everything is going to be okay.”

“What does he look like?” her mother urged her further into details and it made Y/N uncomfortable, but she knew that she could be vague.

“I’m going to be honest with you mom, he’s older than me,” she admitted knowing that Negan was a bit older than her in general so she was sure that her mother would have been uncomfortable with that if she stressed the age difference. “He’s just…perfect. He’s tall, slender, hazel eyes, dark hair, gorgeous dimples…he has tattoos.”

“We might want to keep your dad from that information for a while,” her mother teased her with a smirk looking toward the area of the kitchen. It made Y/N more at ease to know that her mother wasn’t being so stressed about the idea of her having a boyfriend in her life. “I’m going to take it the two of you are having sex?”

“Mom!” she blurt out feeling an overwhelming sense of dread when her mother said that out loud. Lowering her head, she buried it in her palm and shook her head. “That is really not something I want to be talking about with you.”

“So that’s a yes,” her mother reasoned making Y/N groan out with displeasure. In her opinion, there was nothing worse than getting your parents involved in your sex life. That was the last person she wanted to talk about sex with Negan to. “All that I ask for you is to be careful. I want you to be happy, but I also want you to still have the future we always talked about. I don’t want you stuck in a situation where you are unhappy, pregnant and have no means to helping yourself.”

There was an uncomfortable silence that filled the air after she said that and Y/N wondered if that was how her mother felt being stuck with her father. There was that air of curiosity that got to her, but also the fear of hearing the answer to that. Because then there was the idea that her mother didn’t want to have her in the first place and getting pregnant with Y/N is what forced her mother to stay with her father. That was something she had never heard from her mother before, so it definitely shocked her.

“We’re careful,” she assured her mother and she shrugged her shoulders, letting out a long sigh. “If it puts your mind at ease, we haven’t slept together more than a couple of times since we’ve been together. I find that we spend more time hanging out together and enjoying each other’s time than we do being sexual.”

“Does that mean he’s not good?” her mother definitely went too far with her question and it made Y/N snort with disbelief. “I’m just saying, some men you love and you are willing to look over the fact that they aren’t very good in bed.”

“No, he’s perfect in the bedroom. He’s just romantic, very romantic. He wants to make me feel special and he wants our relationship to mean something,” she explained with a loud sigh knowing that she would have loved to have had more sex with Negan in the time they had been together, but Negan always wanted each moment to be good for her. “I know this is going to sound weird mom, but he really just wants to focus on what makes me happy. He wants me to feel pampered and like I’m the only woman in the world for him.”

“Then why the fuck are you so nervous about him?” her mother swatted the table after hearing that and it made her laugh. She had never realized that there was this side to her mother and she liked it. Why had she never seen it before? “I like hearing that you have a healthy relationship with someone. That’s all you ever really want for your child. For them to do better than you. Find someone that makes them happy and wants you to succeed in life.”

“I have confidence that he is just that,” she reached out to place her hand over her mother’s and she squeezed over it firmly. Thinking about Negan made her realize that obviously her mother had met him already and she was already swooning over Negan in the past. “Trust me, I guarantee you that you would really like him. I know he’s the kind of guy that would just warm your heart.”

“So that’s what you’ve been wasting your time doing?” the sound of her father’s voice pulled her attention from her mother and it made her jump. Shifting uncomfortably in her chair, Y/N lowered her gaze and her father scoffed. “Here I was thinking that you were actually taking things seriously after fucking yourself out of school.”

“I have my meeting with the schoolboard soon,” she informed her father with a shrug of her shoulders and she let out a shuddering breath. “I’m prepared for what is coming. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“I do actually. I thought I taught you better than this,” her father shamed her from where he was standing, his arms folded out in front of his chest and he looked absolutely disgusted with her. “We talked about the career. The career always came first because as soon as you focused on a relationship you were going to forget all about your future. People get blinded by fucking love and as soon as they are, they forget everything about their future and their potential. You already put yourself one step in the grave because of what you did with your professor and now you just laid yourself completely in after all of this.”

“I think you would be surprised,” she attempted to defend herself knowing that Negan had already helped her a lot as it was and he wasn’t the kind of person that wanted to hold her back from her dreams.

“What I’m surprised with is how disappointing you turned out to be,” her father snarled and she felt her heart sink when her father said that to her. For most of her life she had looked up to her father and he was the person that she had tried to get the acceptance from the longest. He was the one that urged her into doing law because she wanted to be like him when she was little. So to hear him say that broke her. “I thought I raised you right…”

“You did raise me right,” she stammered with a confused expression. “I’ve always done everything right. I worked harder than anyone. I graduated at the top of my class in high school. I worked my ass off on the first few years of college, but I stood up for myself with my professor. I did what I had to in order to protect myself dad. He tried to assault me. Would you have rather me just lay there and take what he did? I have put everything into all my classes. All my grades prove that. What he was doing to me was wrong. Altering my grades so that way he could blackmail me into having sex with him.”

“If I heard you correctly from in there, your boyfriend is apparently older than you?” her father repeated her words and it made her eyebrows furrow with fear as to where her father was going with this. “You have no problem dating an older man, but if an older man you’re not attracted to wants to have sex with you, it automatically becomes assault? If the person you are dating now was your professor, you would have fucked him, right?”

“That’s the nastiest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” she frowned not believing the things that came out of her father’s mouth about what happened with her and the professor. “It had nothing to do about attraction dad. It had everything to do with the fact that he was abusing his power over me to make me do what he wanted. Even if he was the most attractive man I have ever seen, I would have never allowed it. I would have still had the same reaction. It had nothing to do with attraction.”

“Right,” her father rolled his eyes and she could tell that he didn’t believe her which hurt her all the more.

“At this point I feel like you would have just rather me sleep with my professor instead of standing up for myself,” she pointed out and her father shrugged making her let out a disgusted breath.

“You’re going around being a slut anyways now,” her father stated with a dark expression, his eyes narrowing out at her. It made her stand up from the table, her heart was pounding inside of her chest and she felt like every part of her was on fire. “You could have at least been a slut and finished school instead of ruining your future and deciding to be a whore afterwards.”

“How am I a slut for dating someone?” she demanded an answer from her father, looking to her mother who was looking down and away. It was obvious that she was embarrassed by her father’s outburst, but her mother was saying nothing. That wasn’t rare. At this point her father could have said anything and her mother wouldn’t defend her even though her mother had seemed okay with everything before. “Wouldn’t I have to be sleeping around in general with everyone and anyone to be a slut?”

“Whatever makes you feel better honey,” her father moved around the table to sit on the corner of it, folding his arms out in front of his chest. “What you should have been doing is groveling. You should have been making up the work you knew that you were going to miss for the rest of this semester. Maybe you should have apologized to the professor. Begged him to forgive you. The schoolboard is not going to accept you back and you are so arrogant to think otherwise. You should have done everything in your power to get back into that school or find something else. Instead, you’re opening your legs to an older man. Sounds like you’ve taken this time to be exactly what I called you.”

“I should have known it would be a mistake coming here tonight,” she went to leave feeling her father grabbing a tight hold of her wrist as she went to leave. The yank he did jerked her back and his fingers had an exceedingly hard squeeze over it. “Let go. You’re hurting me.”

“You are an ungrateful little shit and I taught you better than this,” her father scowled, his eyes darkening while he looked her over. “After everything I have done for you over the years, this is the way you decide to pay me back, huh? All that money wasted.”

“I’m sorry I’m not your perfect image dad,” she snapped back, attempting to pull her wrist back, but he kept his firm grasp on it. “I guess I should have just let my professor rape me so you could be proud of your little girl and the woman she became.”

“You know, you have a really smart mouth and no man is going to be accepting of that little girl,” her father pulled her forward and she felt a nervous breath catch in her throat.

“Just because you’re an abusive shit that doesn’t like a strong woman doesn’t mean that the rest of the world is like you,” she scoffed watching her father’s eyes narrow and a moment later felt the firm smack of his hand across the side of her face. When he did it, her mother finally stood up from where she was seated and stepped forward. Reaching up with her free hand, Y/N felt her chest aching and she finally found the strength to pull her wrist from her father’s grasp. “Wow, not only am I not the person that you thought I was, but you certainly aren’t the man that I thought you were.”

“Y/N,” her mother tried to step forward and Y/N held her hand up to stop her mother from talking to her. “This just got elevated very quickly and I think if you sat down…”

“I’m not going to sit down here with him right now. I’m going out for a while and I’m going to let him cool down because I’m not going to sit here after he just hit me,” she insisted with a firm shake of her head, backstepping away from the table. “He’s not the man that I thought he was…”

“I’m not going to change my mind on how I feel you ungrateful little shit,” her father got up from the table and her mother stood before her father to press her hands into the center of his chest to stop him from moving forward toward Y/N.

“Then I guess I’ll be back later to get my things,” she swallowed down hard, hating to have to say that, but the things that her father said were just so unforgivable that she couldn’t stand to hear any more of it.

Instead of waiting for any other response from her father, she headed for the door and left. There was a sense of surprise that her mother didn’t come after her, but she didn’t know what she expected from her in the first place. While her mother had stepped up when she felt her father was getting too aggressive, she just let her father say those horrible things to Y/N. It was obvious that at this point in her life, her parents no longer accepted her or wanted to support her with her future, so Y/N was done with things. There was no point in trying with them anymore after her father’s outburst and she absolutely hated it.

Walking across the street to Negan’s home, she didn’t even care if they saw her heading that way. Their opinion of her was already skewed anyways so if they already thought she was a slut and a horrible person, who cared what they honestly thought about her being with Negan?

----

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#Negan #negan x reader #negan fanfiction #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #The Walking Dead #twd fanfiction

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