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fall-of-enselia · 4 months

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Hi, I’m Bleu, and welcome to my other blog! This one’s simply to keep track of all my FoE stuff, as well as allow suggestions from outsiders as to how I should continue the story. Here’s a basic description and some rules (Please read the full post, if you have the time)

General Summary

15 year old Emberlyn Sharp has just lived through the worst year of her life. Her parents just got a divorce, her sister went off to college on the other side of the country, her best friend moved away, she has to spend every day in English literature sitting shoulder to shoulder with her god awful excuse of an “ex girlfriend,” and worst of all, strange, almost paranormal events have been happening all around town. People are waking up to their mailboxes dissolved into acidic black sludge. Completely unidentifiable plants are showing up everywhere. But worst of all, a mysterious crystal she found in the woods when she was little starts making these god-awful screeching noises every time she opens its case.

Conveniently, suspiciously, around this time, a rumor starts spreading around the school that hidden within the restricted section of the library, there rests an old book containing a spell that will send anyone unfortunate enough to read its pages to hell. Now, under normal circumstances, Emberlyn would pass these rumors as a load of bullcrap, but with all the weird, paranormal events going on around her, her curiosity can’t help but be sparked. So, with a fully-packed suitcase, her mysterious screaming rock, and some help from the other school designated weird girl, she brakes into the school, and makes her trip to the library at 10:00 o’clock at night.

Little did she know, all those rumors would turn out to be true. Well, minus the portal to hell part.

Instead of hell, the floor gives way to a completely new world. One that is undeniably beautiful, but torn to shreds by war, disease, and natural disasters. She is thrust headfirst into a wasteland of warring nations, a plague that causes people to grow poisonous flowers out of their bodies, shadow demons falling from the sun, colonialism, and a crooked world history built upon lies. All tracing back to a god amongst gods who calls herself Enselia, hell-bent on tearing this world to shreds. But why, if Enselia is the high celestial, a creature whose duty is to be the all-seeing-eye and protector of this place, be trying to destroy it? Why does she hate this place so much? And is she even supposed to be the high celestial all along? Well, this angry little lesbian and five other cool people wanted dead by god are about to find out!

Oh yeah, and that screaming rock of hers? Turns out it’s a sentient dagger with enough energy to cause the highest of high celestials to spontaneously combust! How fun :D

Planning

So, my plans for this absolute mess of a series is to make it into a webcomic series, and a rather expansive one at that! Yes, I did say series. I intend to make Fall of Enselia into a multi-volume series with a planned 6-7 books (not including side material.) I doubt it’ll ever go into print, but it still feels more natural to me to structure each page and book like a physical comic book, so sadly, you’re not getting any infinite scrolls from me. If you’re wondering where you’ll be able to find it, I’ll be posting each chapter on Webtoon under the username Im_Tired1124. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep a consistent update schedule, but my current plan is to try and post one chapter every two months once I get the storyboards, script, and plot nailed down. As of writing this, I’m still working on the storyboard and script for the prologue of book one. Though I’ve had this story slowly forming in my head for about 2-4 years now, I kind of did the thing where you write down nothing about your story, while planning out every book, character beat, villain motivation, animated spin-off, and anime opening for your story lol. It’s definitely not going to be out for a while, but my current plan is to, hopefully, get the prologue and first three chapters published in the timeframe of July-December of 2024. In the meantime, I’ll be using this account to publish concept art, reference sheets, work in progress, and lore notes while working on the main event. It should also come with the expectation that I probably won’t be posting on my main account as much.(granted, I tend to be slow as hell with drawing, and posting things on there anyway) So, as much as it may pain me, I’m going to have to go on hiatus with my Omori fanart. And also probably my fanfiction, but hey, don’t tell anyone I said that!

Granted, I will let little bits of FoE content slip through on my main account, but most of them are probably gonna be more on the unofficial content/shitposty side (maybe even a spoiler here and there :)). This is where all the juicy story stuff goes!

Do’s and Do Not’s

Alright, here’s where all my rules for the series go!

You have my full permission to:

Make fanart

Form headcanons

Cosplay my characters

Make OC’s

Write fanfictions (so long as they are appropriate)

Order commissions of my characters (I don’t have a PayPal rn, so everything is free for now, yay!)

Draw them with other characters/your own OC’s

Take inspiration from my OC’s and comics

Give me advice on writing, send me sources on how to accurately represent different cultures, and tell me if I’ve accidentally done anything wrong or offensive. This story revolves heavily around different cultures and marginalized people trying to resist oppression and forced hegemony. However, I am fully aware that as a moderately culturally detatched half-Jamaican who hasn’t had to face too much racism or scrutiny for my appearance and cultural background, I can very easily screw things up. So, constructive criticism is always welcome ^•^

Ship my characters, I couldn’t give less of a shit! Just don’t turn anyone’s family tree into a family wreath, or get any of my OC’s arrested.

Genuinely, I have no problem with fan works, and I’d be absolutely overjoyed to see people engaging in my work in these ways! However I do still have standards within my ToS, so…

Things you may NOT do with my creative works (and just general stuff you shouldn’t do):

Trace or steal my art or OC’s

Use my characters in insensitive, harmful, bigoted, or political material.

“Reference” my works to the point you’ve just made the Wish.com knockoff of my OC’s.

Stalk, harass, or send death threats to people who disagree with you, or myself. Y’all should know better than that.

Spread misinformation about myself, my motives, the story, or other people I associate with just because you don’t like them. You have better things to do with your life, so stop making shit up and go outside. Don’t like, don’t engage.

For the love of Mangoes, under no circumstances is anyone allowed to make NSFW of my characters. Nope, not even the adults. Not only are most of the lead characters in FoE teenagers, but I also based there personalities and life experiences of of my own, as well as the experiences of friends and family of mine. Look, I hate to use the, “As a minor, this makes me uncomfortable,” card, but god damnit, as a minor this makes me real uncomfortable! Now, this ban may lift (AT LEAST ON ADULT CHARACTERS) once I get older, and am more comfortable with people interpreting my works that way, but right now, no. Don’t do it. Keep those ideas in the rough draft bin of your brain. That’s nasty. Don’t do it. Granted, I don’t have a problem with sexual humor in fan works, my sense of humor irl is already pretty… let’s just say, risqué, anyways, but as has already been established, don’t write or draw any of my characters getting it on.

Lastly, A few content warnings for the story to come.

Content warnings for Fall of Enselia will include

Violence

Horror

Gore

Disturbing imagery

Emetophobia

Racism

Potential unreality

Eating disorders

Mild religious themes

Bullying

Kidnapping

Child abuse

Unhealthy/Abusive relationships

Implied substances abuse

Murder

War

Death

Swearing

Generalized bigotry

Though all of these subjects are included if FoE, that doesn’t mean I condone them in any way. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. These things are included to show just how god-awful they are, and hopefully to encourage them to stop. Granted, most of the heavier themes in FoE aren’t anything worse than what you find in the average WoF book, but they’re still pretty heavy things, and I would advise all readers to see with caution if these subjects could trigger you.

Anyways, that’s all I have to say for now. Have a good day or night, take your vitamins, eat a good breakfast, stay hydrated, and make sure to wash your hands! 💙

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ashers-transition · 1 year

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3 Months T Update (March 13, 2023)

Here's my three month update for being on testosterone!

Just like before, I will be skipping over anything that hasn't changed and only discussing the changes that I have noticed (and I haven't noticed many this time around, so this is going to be a short update).

My other transition logs can be found here:

Pre T 1 Month 2 Months

Please check my pinned post for more info about me and why I started this blog!

CWs: eye contact (in video), discussion of menstruation.

(If I've missed any content warning that I should include, please let me know and I will add them in).

Body Hair

I've gotten slightly more, slightly darker hairs around my ankles, as well as starting to get a little bit of hair on my stomach (not photographed cause I don't know how to make that not look weird, lol).

Menstrual Cycle

In my last update, I talked about how my period came slightly early, was very very light, and lasted for three weeks. I got my period again only a week later, and this time it was just a normal period for me.

Voice

I've noticed a slight lowering of my voice since the 2 month mark, but it isn't that big of a difference. I can definitely tell a difference when comparing it to my pre-t voice though, which is super exciting for me. I actually went shopping just the other day and was gendered correctly by a stranger even after I had spoken!

I know that I haven't been on T for very long, but I'm already very happy with how my voice is turning out. I would still like it to be lower, and it's definitely still got time to lower itself, but this is the most comfortable I've felt with my voice in years and it's been a very validating experience for me.

[Video description: A waist high video of Asher talking to the camera. End video description.]

[Video transcript: "Hi, my name is Asher, and this is my voice three months on T."]

Other

I have successfully switched from testosterone gel to injections!

#medical transition #hrt #testosterone update #t update #hrt update #trans man #transmasc #trans resources #transition resources #actually disabled

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wutlaikalikes · 7 months

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*post* and tags update

i changed it again lol, feel free to scroll past. ^^;

I folded and changed my layout for my secondary blog, ライカのアドベンチャー

It's definitely much better since my secondary blog is for my drawings and projects.

But my OCD is kicking again. For some reason, the layout doesn't recognize my posts as photo posts but as text. As I've seen, the description of the photo should be on the right side but for some reason it is not recognized as photo posts.

Photo post:

Text post:

I know this is not Tumblr's fault cause I checked the blog archive and it recognizes all my posts as photo posts as intended. It's just the layout that has possibly a problem.

I could report it to the theme author but I'm shy so until I find the courage to, it'll stay here for a while.

>>> tags / posts update

3 weeks ago, I posted a blog regarding a problem with posts that were initially posted as private then changed the visibility to public not showing under tags assigned to them.

I reported this problem through support and provided two blog links that have been fixed and is now properly showing on under tags. BUT I have a lot of thoses posts and all of those are my Wordle results. Sure, you can find them by using the in-blog search not those posts doesn't show under the in-blog tags. I can give the links so they can fix it but that are 2 months worth of links (and I will keep doing that especially those are wordle results, it's normal that I don't show the answer until the next day).

I was giving them as much details and described the issue as best I can, and even tried to attach images, only to be told...

Fantastic! Happy to hear those posts are now showing on the in-blog search. :) Have a great weekend, and thanks for being a part of Tumblr!

I just gave up at that point but told them its still broken! This was about 5 days ago, not sure if they'll respond. It takes them about a week to respond. I can imagine that have a lot of email support they have to go through, or there aren't enough people to work through those emails.

For now, I'm quite satisfied with my blog layouts.

I like Tumblr. I think it's only natural that I support them by pointing out possible problems, right?

#blog #design

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tittyblade · 3 years

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tumblr etiquette 101

a list that is nowhere near exhaustive, from yours truly.

First off, welcome! Whether you’re a twitter veteran looking for anything but whatever twitter is, or a new user just done signing up, glad to see you in our ranks beloveds! Welcome home. Refer to this quick tour to make sure your fandom experience (or tumblr experience in general) is a positive one!

Disclaimer: I know it’s long, but please try to read or skim through til the end if you’re new here! This is by no means meant to be a rule book (for the most part lol), only a guide to help you get settled easier!

1) Your blog

This is where people will see and interact with you, so put some effort into it!

Try to choose a name (url) that’s simple. You can see it as your brand, it’s how people will perceive you and remember you. If you’d like to interact with other users here (and not use the site just for the content) it’s better to have something short and sweet, preferably without spaces. (Of course, these are only suggestions.) Rest assured, you can change it literally any time you want.

Have a theme. Utilize the tool that lets you edit your blog’s color or the font of your bio! You can make it match your profile picture, or your blog if it has a theme of its own. Make it feel homey :]

Fill in your bio. People will be checking out your profile probably more often than you think. Don’t leave it empty! Put in any information you’re comfortable with sharing and isn’t too personal (like your age if you’re a minor, or other TMI that can be found on other people’s carrds). It’s always better to add a name/nickname people can use to refer to you by, but feel free to use your blog description to shitpost still.

You can have an intro post. More often than not, you’ll see a blog have a pinned post, a post permanently appearing at the top of a blog until you pin another post or unpin it. You can make one of those, if you’d like to introduce yourself in more length, link any other socials or a carrd, and show others visiting your blog how you tag things so it’ll be easy for them to navigate. Not an obligation.

Keep your anonymity and your safety. It should go without saying, but there’s no harm in repeating it just in case. Your comfort, privacy and safety has the utmost importance. Don’t share any information you don’t want to. Don’t share your age if you’re a minor, or any other incredibly personal info. I’d encourage you to go by a nickname that’s not your real name, (blog name, your brand, remember?) since there’s safety in anonymity, and that’s lowkey one of the big deals of tumblr, but that’s up to you still.

Choose what you want to be visible. Your liked posts and who you follow are all things you can set to keep to yourself and hide from the publics eye, how handy! You should go through all the setting while you’re at it, set it to your comfort.

Side blogs are a thing. You can have multiple blogs that you can use for different things (see: different fandoms, art blog, etc) to keep them organized or away from your followers. Just remember that the replies and off-anon asks you send will be from your main blog, as well as where you follow other blogs from.

2) Interacting with others

You’ve set up your account, now comes the fun part!

Follow to your heart’s desire. If you care about others seeing who you follow, fear not! In tumblr, usually only two types of blogs keep their following visible to others: newbies, and big blogs using it to point people on other good blogs’ direction. Just turn it off, and go ham following people.

Customize your dashboard. Gonna mention just two things here: this is another reason why it’s really important that you follow blogs without sparing, your dash will collect dust otherwise; and you should turn off “best stuff first” in your dashboard settings, to have a better community here and all.

Follow tags. You can set it in your settings that posts with your followed tags appear on your dashboard.

You can check the og post for edits and context. When you see a reblogged post you don’t understand the context of (or don’t recognize the character in case of fanarts), click on the profile so it will take you to the original post. From there you can check the original poster’s tags to get the context, or see if there have been any edits made to the post, since when you edit a post it doesn’t update any past reblogs.

Send people asks... This is how you make mutuals, people! Do it off-anon if you’d like them to know your blog, or anon if you’d rather not! (You can still end your messages with a signature to show you’re the same person, -[name] is one example.) Send them nice messages, ask their opinion on something, discuss things, or just straight up shitpost lol. Go wild. The sky’s your limit and it’s definitely more than 280 characters.

...and let them ask you! You can set your preference in the settings, do it on desktop tumblr to access more settings tho! What you can customize on mobile is limited (like letting people ask you things anonymously, that’s only on desktop settings). In my personal opinion, it’s always better to tag their username (or a nickname you give them, if they’re a friend) on that post, since you wouldn’t want your interactions with your friends to get buried in your blog forever.

Comment on posts. If you have something to say but don’t want the post to appear on your blog you can add a comment. The owner of the post will get a notif for it, but for anyone else you need to tag them.

For the love of god, reblog. People will only see your liked posts if you have it visible to public and they specifically go on your blog to look at them. You like something? You reblog. It’s already hard for posts to circulate properly, if you don’t reblog them literally no one will see them. If not for anything do it for the artists. Just hold and drag on mobile to fast rb.

3) Your Posts

Finally here! Don’t be a lurker, post and engage!

Make use of “read more”. If your post is long, add it. That’s what you clicked on earlier to expand this post. On desktop leave an empty line and you’ll see three dots appear, and on mobile type :readmore: on that empty line.

Draft a post to come back to it later. Pretty self explanatory.

Queue your post. Whether it’s your own post or you’re reblogging, make use of the queue feature to a) not spam reblog and fill up the dashboard of people following you and b) keep your blog active while you’re gone. Mess around in the settings, it’s fairly easy to set up.

Schedule your post. Same as queueing, the only difference is you get to choose the exact time your post will go up. Handy if you want to schedule a post for certain dates like april fools, or 5 years in the future for some reason.

Format your texts. You can do all kinds of fancy stuff here (that’s a link, try pressing on it). Twitter doesn’t have this, make use of it. Changes depending on whether you’re on mobile or desktop. (Desktop has less features.)

Check your stats. If you’re trying to understand the algorithm better or want to look at some pretty graphs you can get your data on that on desktop tumblr.

@ people in comments. You’ll get all the notifs when people comment on your posts but they won’t see your reply unless you tag them in your message.

4) Tags, and tagging a post

This is where my earlier statement “this isn’t a rule book” stops being applicable. It’s not a war crime to go against these, I won’t come chasing you (don’t take my word for this) but you’ll work up a bad rep. Just saying lol.

Do NOT crosstag posts. It’s really tempting to add unrelated tags to increase your posts’ interaction, I know, but that’s not what tumblr is about. Don’t be a dick and make other communities’ experience worse for them.

Always tag your posts with “crit/critical/discourse/etc” if it calls for it. There’s no exceptions to it. This is the reason you see people migrating to tumblr. Let people enjoy things.

Don’t main tag a critical/negative post. If your crit post is about “Thing”, you add the “Thing critical” tag, but not the “Thing” tag. People block crit tags if they don’t want to see it, don’t shove it in their faces by main tagging it.

If you don’t want to see something, just block it. Another reason why people are able to survive on tumblr. You don’t start discourse, you don’t make call-outs, you block. You can find something for every community you can think of if you go looking for it. The worst of the worst probably won’t ever appear on your dash, but if you’re worried or feel the need for it, you know where the block button is.

Feel free to shitpost or ramble. More often than not you’ll see people rb a post with a comment, and their elaboration will be in the tags. The tags are only visible on your profile and the notifications of the owner of the og blog. Just a thing people do.

Reblog artists’ posts with nice comments in the tags! Commenting on a drawing is usually done through the tags (Not an obligation, again, just a thing people do. Feel free to add your comment on the rb itself if you’d want other people to see it tho!) and leave nice messages for the artists! It’s a win-win for everyone involved.

If you have more than a single follower, always use the common tw warning tags. You don’t need to tw everything, but tw’ing some common things is the bare minimum human decency. Keep it safe for others.

Tag a post “long post” if it’s really long. Pretty self explanatory. Don’t make people scroll through all that please lol.

You can use them to organize your blog. This is more of a pro tip, if you’d like to not miss a post in your blog, cause they will start pilin’ up soon enough.

#Liveblogging is pretty fun. If you’d like to talk to people during streams, don’t forget to add the relevant tags still! Again, you won’t show up on people’s dash otherwise.

Whew! That got out of hand. Hopefully I didn’t bore you too much. Check out blogs like @heritageposts and @hellsite-hall-of-fame to honor our past o7. @mcytblr-hall-of-fame too maybe :eyes:. Anyways, don’t forget the most important rule of them all:

Enjoy your stay! You’re meant to have fun on here while also making friends (if that’s your thing). Just be kind and respectful of others, you’ll get the hang of the rest! <3

#mcyttwt #mcytblr #dream team #dream smp #mcyt #dsmp #tumblr #how to tumblr #gonna tag ppl now so more users will see it lol #dreamwasteken #georgenotfound #karl jacobs #technoblade #sbi #twitter #twitter discourse #sbitwt #sleepytwt #sleepy bois inc #HOLY shit this took so long omg my back literally hurts rn #the fuckin lengths i go to make sure tumblr doesnt get tainted w twt LMAO #anyways if youre seeing this you should follow me look at how sexy i am i spent the last 2+ hours typing this goddamn list out #also: ignore how i literally sound like its 2014 at some parts here lol i tried my best #also ignore how wack the paragraph breaks are tumblrs formatting hates me and its 4 am im too tired for this #third also: some bits here are supposed to be ironic keep that in mind pls #rolan.txt #long post #save #yes im tagging my own post as save what about it

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limitlessgojo · 3 years

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Blood Bound: Red Strings of Fate (Ch 8)

Warnings: Action, Coarse Language, Fighting, Descriptions of Blood

Previous Chapter: Bird of Flame

Next Chapter: Wait For Me

Tags: Soulmates AU, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Fem!Reader

Taglist: @lessie-oxj @rizzo-nero @whoreuc @fkngkumiko @isl3t @gojoussunglasses @onepotatostand-blog @s-t-f-u-b-i-t-c-h @sunaswife

Notes: If you want to be tagged for every update, please mention it in the comments below ty <3

Ayiieee, this is a very big and significant chapter in the story. At 2.6k words it probably is the longest chapter in the book lol. Happy reading uwu. Feel free to yell in the comments^^

Chapter 8: Red Strings of Fate

You brought over the book you had on alternate worlds. It wasn't much help. Talking about how a mirror dimension existed.

Another you is possibly alive in the next universe, but with different circumstances due to a difference in choices made or the environment and all that.

You quickly made your way to the library. Once you arrived, you looked around for Noritoshi. You couldn't find him for the first 5 minutes and thought that he wasn't there yet.

But suddenly two hands placed themselves on either side of your shoulder. You could feel the heat emanating from the body behind you. This feeling… "Noritoshi senpai?"

"Mmmm." You turned around and looked up to see him with a small quirk in his lips. His eyes sparkled with excitement (which was a rare sight to see).

"Come." He led you by your elbow to the desk where books were all spread out. "I did some research and looked into the vision we had on the first day we met." He said as you both took your seats.

"It is possible we had visions of an alternate world. But it's now highly unlikely because of the marks that appeared on our wrists earlier. May I?" He gestured to your hand.

You nodded and handed it to him. He held it so gently, his touch making you shiver slightly. You tried to play it cool, but his eyes shot up to yours and you flushed.

He turned your wrist around to reveal the Phoenix branded on it. It glowed bright red as he stroked it with his thumb. You felt all tingly inside.

He brought out his wrist and put it beside yours. The Phoenix markings were identical in size and shape. But his wasn't glowing yet.

You reached out your hands this time to take his. "May I?" He nodded and you examined his wrist, then ran your thumb over his marking.

As you both expected, it glowed bright red. "So.. what does this mean? For the both of us?" You asked him meekly.

He sighed and took your hands in his. Both of your markings stayed bright red as you held hands. "I've been reading up on soulmates-"

"I know, you took all the books. I couldn't find any when I tried to look it up." You pouted. He chuckled at that. His fingers were now playing and slightly fiddling with yours.

"I think we might still be needing more proof, but this is pretty strong. I asked around the Kamo household as well, and they were able to find out that soulmate bonds are established when red strings actually literally come into existence and bind two people together." Noritoshi continued. He then proceeded to show you all his findings and the books he had so far.

"Hmmmm?? So we are or we aren't?" You pulled back from him, looking confused. "I think we are. My clan has confirmed for me that having past life visions, shared markings, and visible red strings tying two people together makes up a soulmate pair. It seems like we need a bit more time for the strings to manifest." He hummed, reaching over to take your hands into his again.

“Sorry I took time to confirm before I could talk to you about this. It’s been weeks since our first shared vision and I’ve been swamped with clan affairs.” Noritoshi admitted.

You shook your head, “No senpai, I was also doing my research on this. It seems unusual, even for jujutsu sorcerers to have such a shared experience so I could only talk to my family about it. We considered the possibility of seeing an alternate timeline as well, so I couldn’t make any immediate assumptions.”

“You were able to find more than I did though senpai. My parents said soulmates are able to share emotions and possibly thoughts. But that’s rare even for soulmates. I only heard about sharing past life visions, we couldn’t find anything on the marks and red strings. Real soulmates are so rare and interesting; they are said to give birth to children with powerful cursed techniques." You mused while linking and unlinking your fingers through his.

You both stared down at your hands, fingers entwined with each other, marks glowing a low red. It felt warm to hold his hand in yours. Noritoshi was so careful, cradling and caressing your fingers like they were made of glass. His hands were much bigger than yours.

"Thinking that far ahead already? I would like a baby boy." Noritoshi looked at you with a mischievous look in his eyes. You pushed at his chest. "Who said anything about wanting children?"

He looked at you with the most gentle eyes only reserved for you. "Only time will tell what happens, dear y/n."

◇◇◇

The next day, your fellow first years gathered around you (ambushed you??) before the start of class. “Y/n, is something going on between you and Noritoshi?” Mai asked.

“Ahhh uhmm no nothing really.” You were lying through the skin of your teeth here, with the secret of the century literally branded on your skin. “Awwwww, and I thought you looked cute together.” Miwa gushed with a smile.

Mechamaru felt oddly out of place with the girl’s gossip, but he still spoke up “Kamo san seems to favor you from what I see. But hey that’s just me.”

You blushed and sputtered out. Curse you and your honest demeanour. “No, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Hmmmmmmm” Mai stared at you from upclose, seemingly trying to psychoanalyse you. “We’ll see who’s right with time.”

You just laughed nervously, shaking her off. “Mai chan, you’ve been watching too many dramas. I’ll watch one with you later.” And with that you’ve successfully managed to distract your fellow first years into talking about having a movie night. Whew.

◇◇◇

Days passed and still no red strings appeared. You and Noritoshi agreed to take things slow as this is both incredibly new to you. But you had something else to look forward to.

You were finally assigned to your first mission. Luckily (or not? Thanks to Utahime’s suspicions over your relationship) Noritoshi was chosen to accompany you to exorcise a group of 2nd grade curses together.

The night was dark. Now that you’re both out in the forest, the distant lights from the city started to dim. “Watch your step.” Noritoshi warned you. You giggled at him and flew above the branches as he stared slightly affronted. “You should watch your step, Noritoshi senpaiii~,” you sing-songed.

‘How could she have such a cheerful disposition at a time like this?’ he wondered. “Stay close to me.” He ordered. Now knowing that you were a Special Class Jujutsu sorcerer definitely didn’t help his ego in wanting to show off a bit. But he can show it through years of experience.

You smiled at his protectiveness and hovered near him, holding onto his sleeve as usual. Suddenly a black mass came hurtling towards the two of you. Noritoshi prepped his bow and arrows, while you stopped its movement.

You brought it close to you and examined it. "Looks toxic." You said. A screech caught your attention and Noritoshi launched an arrow towards the source of the sound.

The Grade 2 curse jumped out of the shadows, shrieking out loudly causing both of your ears to hurt. It had fast movements, tossing out globs of toxic sludge while rapidly moving through the woods.

You placed one arm around Noritoshi's chest, while the other stretched out towards the grade 2 curse, blocking off all the attacks. “While I’m with you, the attacks won’t reach us senpai. I’ll cover the entirety of our defense.”

Noritoshi smiled and easily manipulated his arrows to hit the curse. It disappeared in a flash. You both turned and smiled at each other. “Well done my dear.” He said.

“You were amazing as well, senpai! But I sense more cursed spirits up ahead. We need to have a look.” You sighed, to which he agreed. You both moved forward until you came to a clearing, which led to a cliff with a sheer drop.

The stench of cursed spirits was almost unbearable, and two more came out rushing at the both of you. They seemingly appeared from the ground, but you noticed how they moved with the shadows.

You quickly pulled out your twin blades and cut one with ease. Noritoshi stayed right behind you, guarding your back as he forced back the other curse with his blood manipulation.

In all the confusion, a massive curse loomed over Noritoshi. It was definitely a grade 1 curse at least, which both of you were not expecting. It had the shape and body of a scorpion, but the face of a white tiger with long blood-red fangs.

It reared up, running towards Noritoshi. So your body acted on pure instinct. “Extension cursed technique: Niflheim”, you froze the curse then rushed towards it.

You tackled the cursed spirit without thinking and plunged your twin swords through its gut while slipping off the edge of the cliff. It faded out of existence as you plunged down.

All your life, you’ve been this carefully crafted, logical, and steady person that is built from hard work and experience.

And yet all of that just flew out of the window when you saw Noritoshi in possible danger. As you fell down, you could hear Noritoshi screaming for your name.

You tried to lift your body with your cursed technique. You slowly gained traction upwards, until red strands of blood wrapped around you.

"Blood Manipulation: Crimson Binding!" Noritoshi chanted and reached down to quickly pull you up. You landed on the hard ground and he released his technique as soon as you were in the clear.

"Are you insane?! Pushing it and jumping off the cliff to exorcise it?! There are so many other ways to take it down with your technique. And I could have dealt with binding it before exorcising it! Why on earth?" Noritoshi gasped out.

He was absolutely livid, red faced and eyes wide open. And that was a major understatement. You just sat on the ground, shell shocked at your own actions and at the way he was yelling your head off.

You messed up big time, and you know this because Noritoshi never raises his voice towards you.

"Why did you risk your life for me?! I could have handled that. And you don't even know me." Noritoshi’s voice was growing hoarse. You felt your throat close up and body tense. It felt like he punched you in the gut. He wasn't entirely wrong. You just met him, and you already put your life at risk to save the man.

But his words stung. They echoed in your mind and heightened your insecurities. It was like he was putting an invisible wall between the both of you. 'You don't know me.' 'I thought I did, or at least it felt like we did with each other'.

Realising that you stayed silent, you looked up at him to see his angry expression growing into something else, like worry.

You quickly smoothed yourself over. "No, apparently I don't. I’m sorry for not knowing you." But you didn't apologise for saving him. That's one thing you would never apologise for. Because that's one of your duties.

A flash of regret appeared across his face. Noritoshi came close to you and took your hands in his and looked into your eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the red strings that burst forth from your joined hands.

You stared in wonder as they wrapped around both your shoulders and bodies to bind you close to each other. You flushed as you stared up at him agape. His eyes were focused on the moving and glowing threads around the two of you before he turned to look at you.

Your eyes met once more and you were thrown into another vision.

"My love, how are you feeling?" A man was sitting beside your bed. You had bandages on your arms and everything felt so heavy. “I’m much better, as a matter of fact I think I could go out right now and get some sunshine.” You smiled.

The man gave the most exasperated sigh, "You're far too reckless. Testing your luck every time. Please, let me protect you and stay by your side."

“Yes yes. Of course, I will always stay by your side. And protect you."

"Protecting me shouldn't entail giving your life up for me. We stay alive together." He said angrily.

"Okay. It's okay." You soothed the man. "We will survive." You whispered as he leaned down to catch your lips tenderly in his.

For all his stoic behaviour, he kissed you so lovingly. Rubbing your back and patting your head softly. You turned to bury your face in the crook of his neck and pressed a deep kiss there.

"Read me a story." You asked him after a period of silence.

He brought out your favorite novel about a Princess who was sent down as a blessing from the Moon. Her father found her inside a bamboo shoot.

She was to live the life of a human, but eventually had to go back up to the heavens.

Unfortunately, she loved her human parents who spoiled her and raised her like a princess. And parting with them was terribly painful.

"I don't know why you enjoy such a depressing story." He sighed after he had finished. His lashes were so long that they were almost resting on his cheekbones.

"It's because their love is beautiful. The love that the daughter had for her parents. The love she had on earth, before she forgot everything and had to return to the moon." You dreamily explained.

He smiled. "Ever such a romantic, my love. I should do better in our relationship to please you."

You snorted, "No you've done well. It is fine as we are." You elbowed him jokingly.

But he turned to you so seriously, "I love you so much, my dear. You don't-"

The vision ends abruptly before the man could end his sentence. Your arms were now wrapped around Noritoshi's waist and his were around yours. You simply stared at each other for a while.

"Noritoshi senpai… so it's true, you're my other half." You murmured. Your pinkies were linked by the red flowing thread.

He hugged you tightly. "Yeah. And you're mine."

Everything was very quiet. You felt his nervousness, but it felt right. To hold him in your arms like this. It was like you found a piece to yourself that was missing all your life.

Noritoshi carefully brushed away the hair from your face, before leaning down to press his slightly shaky lips against your cheek. It was such a sweet gesture that you leaned to it.

You both were clearly out of your element. The idea of being in a relationship was very new to you. You've never dated before, but all the sudden the heavens dropped your soulmate right into your lap.

"Don't ever do that again." He said, lips brushing against your cheek.

You blinked. "What?"

"I won't blame you for trying to protect me. But think properly and don't be reckless when you act. I'm capable and strong as well. I don't want you to get hurt." He said.

His earlier words came rushing back to you. ‘You don’t know me.’ Your heart dropped. But you replied, "Okay Senpai."

He pulled you up as the red strings faded from view, "Let's patrol the area to make sure everything is clear then head back."

Blood Bound: Table of Contents

#kamo noritoshi x you #blood bound #red strings of fate #kamo noritoshi x y/n #noritoshi fluff #jjk fanfic #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk imagines #noritoshi x you #noritoshi x y/n #noritoshi x reader #kamo noritoshi x reader #news #jujutsu kaisen fanfic

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 3 years

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A chatty writing update | novels, short fiction, etc!

Hi folks!

It’s been a while since I last wrote an update on this blog! I thought it’d be fun to go back to basics, and just talk about writing. This post chats about: new plans for Feeding Habits, my newest novel, my short story goals & growing collection, along with process reflections.

(image description: a photo of green leaves with the text “writing update” in a white font written on top. /end image description)

Post starts under the cut!

General taglist (please ask to be added or removed)

@if-one-of-us-falls, @qatarcookie, @chloeswords, @alicewestwater, @laughtracksonata, @shylawrites, @ev–writes, @jaydewritesfiction, @jennawritesstories @eowynandfaramir, @august-iswriting, @aetherwrites, @avakrahn, @maisulli

What have I been up to?

For starters, I finished my second year of my Writing undergrad last week and got two of my final grades back today (A+ baby)! For anyone who has taken online university, y’all already KNOW, but this year was so difficult. Would not recommend! Really proud of myself to have gotten through this absolute rollercoaster of a school term and am excited to get into some writing. That leads us to:

What have I been up to (writing edition)?

2021 started off so fast. By the time January hit, I was so consumed in my new semester that I did not have time to write Feeding Habits (my novel). In the first few days of the term, I managed to write between class, until I could no longer keep up! Essentially, I did not write any of that novel until exam season (last week), where I did manage to get in about 3k words in ~4 days.

Feeding Habits

I’m currently drafting what I believe will be the last chapter of this book (chapter 10: Swan Song). This chapter is so bizarre for a few reasons. It begins the book’s third part and also marks the shift back into Lonan’s head from Harrison’s. I originally thought this part would be much, much longer, with at least another five chapters to go, but quickly realized the book’s content was nearly completed. In my 4 day 3k palooza, I hit 50k in the book (the word count goal), and couldn’t see myself extending past 60k. Since then, I’ve made the loose decision to write this final chapter as a ~novella. Here are a few reasons why:

1. This chapter is structurally very strange.

I unashamedly shift from present to past to present to past past, and so much more every 12 words. I mapped out the timeline on a sheet of paper, and there were over 20 shifts in scenes (the chapter is only about 4400 words at the moment). The fictive past is incredibly important to this chapter, more important than the present, and I thought it would make more sense to not break randomly for a chapter so I could upkeep the consistent inconsistency of the chapter.

2. The chapter is very abstract

This stems from the structural changes, but there are paragraphs in this chapter of the fictive present that are loosely based in reality. They’re more poems than they are factual paragraphs, and keeping them all contained in one place (so a mega chapter/ novella) would reduce the most confusion!

3. There’s not much left to cover

Like I said above, Feeding Habits is on its last leg, lol! I know exactly where the book needs to end up, which is very, very soon from where I’m currently at on the timeline. Swan Song should cover what 2-4 chapters would cover in terms of arcs.

Feeding Habits and I have a really weird relationship, tbh! When I realized a few weeks ago that it’d been over a year since I started the book, I realized I just needed to finish it. Not that I want to rush (because I’ve taken longer than a year to write a book in the past), but that in order to move onto another project, I’d like to put this one behind first. This book has been the hardest thing I’ve ever written, and has reminded me there’s always a time to let go. This sort of scrounges up a conversation about letting this entire series go, which is certainly something I’ve been contemplating doing soon(ish). If this spinoff series gets a third book, that may or may not be the last Fostered book for a very long time (or ever)! There are many complex reasons to move on, but the main one is that I have other projects I’d like to focus on. This is not a definitive decision, but something I’ve certainly been thinking about!

Here are a few excerpts I wrote recently:

(TW: death, gore)

Dying feels like being a trout dangled out of water. Clinging to a hook. Mouth open. Scales iridescent in a final death cry. It’s like blood spurting up the knuckles, drowning out the flesh. It’s that moment on the long fall down when the clouds cup the body. Easy drifting. The sound a skull makes when it cracks is really just the afterthought.

(TW: death, gore)

Kill shot. Death blow. Coup de grace. Right in the heart. He feels it. The blood swelling, slicking his palms. He can do it. Reach into the cavity. Feel for the ribs. Part each bone. Then cup the humming heart. Stay there. Right. It’s never been easier.

Look at this PURE moment of Lonan holding a baby I CANNOT:

The grocery store was a fifteen-minute walk away. With Olivia clinging to his shoulder, Lonan was acutely aware that she could feel his heartbeat. Open valve. Close. Repeat. Hers pulsed right above his, a miniature drumming. The sky had bruised purple, misted with clouds. The evening air nipped his cheeks, so he made sure Olivia was securely fastened between him and his jacket. With wide eyes, she absorbed the drowsy suburbia, all its family cars pulling into driveways, all its couples heading back home after a sunset walk. When Lonan passed a young boy walking two golden retrievers, Olivia giggled, and didn’t stop, even after he’d spent fifty dollars on groceries and nearly the rest on a red Corolla marked with a MUST GO NOW sign outside a convenience store.

Let’s move on!

Mandy and Cora

I said I wouldn’t talk too much about this project, but I just love it so much?? I wanted to share my SUPER early thoughts on drafting a novel, especially one that is SO different from what I’ve been writing recently. I talked about this before in THIS post, but the summary about this project is that it’s a YA contemporary novel! Can’t believe I’m writing YA again, it’s been so long, but I also think it’s going so well. Everything I’ve learned as a literary fiction writer has been a fantastic primer for transferring back to the genre. Admittedly, I have not written much, but I’m having a lot of fun diving back into a lighter project. This is the summary:

Cora and Mandy are identical twins who’ve always done everything together. But when Mandy decides to go to university out of province after graduation and Cora doesn’t, Cora takes this as an opportunity to “test run” life apart from her sister for the first time by spending the summer at her aunt’s house across the country.

I have come up with a few ~things since I last talked about this project, mostly how I’d like to structure it. As of now, I’d like the book to be structured super loosely. I’m really pulling on a lot of inspo from “We Are Okay” by Nina LaCour (which is SO good), particularly how “nothing happens-y” that book is. This project (which I still need a title for!!) will be structured in short chapters that cover something Cora does on her own for the first time (without Mandy). For example, a few ideas are “Flight”, “Lunch”, and “Groceries”. “Flight” is the first “chapter” (they’re really kind of vignettes) where Cora flies to her aunt’s house. I still can’t determine if this book will take place in Canada. On one hand, I feel like there will be a wider audience if it takes place in the US (is that just an assumption??? maybe?? someone let me know!), but also: don’t really care too much about an audience at the moment! It could also take place in Canada (So Ontario and British Columbia). But if it does take place in the US, I think it may take place in NYC and San Francisco. The problem is: I really don’t like researching lol, and while I’ve been to NYC many times, I will definitely write it wrong! Does this really matter on a first draft?? absolutely not lol, but of course I am already overthinking!

But back to structure: I am looking forward to seeing what this looser structure will do. This is a story that is solely around one half of a set of twins learning to be her own person (and ultimately that she doesn’t have to completely forget her sister in order to do that), and as a twin who KNOWS this feeling, I think this structure of her doing things for the first time is SUPER relatable.

I was worried it might sound silly/worrying to others who are not twins that Cora hadn’t done things like “lunch” or “groceries” on her own, but I feel this so much as an identical twin myself! Not that she hasn’t done anything at all by herself, but as a twin, when you do something without your twin for the first few times, at least in my experience, you notice. If any twins are reading this--weigh in!

This story is the most personal thing I’ve ever written. It definitely is an OwnVoices book! Usually, I avoid details that are remotely similar to me because they make me uncomfortable haha, but with this book, it’s all me, lol! The characters are all Guyanese, which is SO fun because I’ve been planning what they eat (my fellow Caribbean peeps know: the FOOD!), which is so fun (yes they have pumpkin and shrimp, yes they have roti, yes they have pera, yes they have mithai). Every time I’ve gone to dabble at this book, or even think about it, I get incredibly emotional for this reason? I don’t exactly know why. I think this is a story I just so want to tell, with the culture I love SO much that I definitely struggled to love as a child. This is reclamation bitchessss!

Not going to lie tho: the prospect of writing ~a book~ is kind of freaky! I’m going to make the minimum word count for this book pretty short (50k) and see where it goes from there. I think I will focus on this project this summer! Originally I was going to write a literary novel this summer, but I think this one’s calling my name!

Here’s a pretty rough excerpt:

Try. I remind myself that’s what I’m doing after the flight attendant fills me a disposable cup of Coca Cola and all I can think of is Mandy and I shoving Mentos into a bottle of the stuff when we were twelve. Just me, wedged in the middle seat between an exchange student heading out for summer break and a middle-aged woman sipping a cocktail, thinking of Mandy and I bursting whole oranges in a blender when we were bored one Winter break as the plane dips through a wave of turbulence. Mandy and I dying our hair neon green with highlighters (didn’t work—our hair is too dark) as the plane lands on the tarmac. Mandy and I arguing so loud last month, we both lost our voices as I lug my carry-on out of the overhead compartment and shuffle off the plane and through the airport, searching for Aunt Vel.

Short Fiction

I’ve written so much short fiction this year! I have a goal to write a short story a month (they can range in length, as long as 1 is “complete”), so my short story brain has seriously been soaking it all up lately. Let’s chat my month to month breakdown so far:

January:

I wrote four stories in January! The first is a flash fiction piece called “Shark Swimming” that follows a young woman who attends a shark swimming class after breaking up with her girlfriend. I wrote this story for a “test” workshop for my fiction class, and it was based off the prompt “think about something you’re afraid to do and make the character do that thing”. I’m not particularly afraid of sharks, but had been wanting to use the title “Shark Swimming” for AGES (literally since 2018).

This story is one of my favourites. It’s only about 900 words, but I think there’s something profound in how mundanely specific it is. The entire story doesn’t even see the narrator swim with sharks once; it actually takes place fully in the sanctuary’s lobby. But I really love this narrator. This is the first story I’ve written in second person in a while, though I felt really connected to the unnamed narrator. She struggles with accepting that she truly is a “boring” person, and there’s something about the final image that really gets me!

I’ve been submitting this around, though it’s been rejected a handful of times. Hoping I can secure it at a magazine one day because I really love it!

The second story is “Joanne, I’ll Pray for You” which is actually a rewrite of one of my very first short stories (the first story I did not write for a class haha), “NYC in Your Apartment”. I LOVE this rewrite a lot, and also learned the original is not a very good short story! Revising this story taught me just how much I’ve learned in the 2 years I’ve been writing short fiction. Seeing the 2019 version versus the 2021 version side by side is fascinating because I essentially “gutted’ the 2019 version of its beginning and end until all that was left was the middle of the story (aka the actual story). AKA: this is the only story I’ve ever written with a hopeful ending and I cut out all the happy bits lol I am SO sorry (that arc is more for a novel or novella). That’s how this went from a 5k word story to an 1800 word story (my Submittable thanks me for this lol). A lot of details and scenes I included were more pertinent to a 3 act structure/novel, which of course short stories don’t often have because of their brevity. I love rambling about writing theory, and seeing that actually pay off is so fascinating!

(TW: trauma)

Like the original, this story follows Joanne, a woman in her early twenties, who spontaneously breaks up with her boyfriend. She claims the poltergeist haunting her drove her to this decision. The original draft focused a lot more on the traumatic events Joanne survives, but this draft really loosens them up. It focuses less so on the events themselves, and more on how Joanne’s life is affected. I found the details of these events were less important, and even sort of contradicted Joanne’s insistence she is being haunted. Instead, the poltergeist really takes more precedence in the new draft as a force Joanne doesn’t understand. That ambiguity, I think, is what the story truly needed.

I also centralized Joanne’s relationship with her boyfriend, Julian, here. Now don’t get me wrong, I really didn’t add anything to this draft. It was a matter of trimming the fat around it to leave the lean “meat” in the centre. But by removing that fat, I was able to emphasize what was most important here, and that was her relationship. Julian always played a really big role in the original draft, but I feel like his role as both a friend and partner to Joanne is much more emphasized since this draft literally is only two scenes now. Because there is less, there is more room for Joanne to reflect, which I’m happy about!

A final change I made was the setting and therefore the title. The original, which was “NYC in Your Apartment,” I couldn’t keep because I shifted the setting to Toronto (this is how I originally saw it, but in 2019 I just?? couldn’t?? write?? canlit??), and “Toronto in Your Apartment” sounded sort of gross LOL. The new title comes from a line in the story which I think is more relevant to the themes!

The next short story I wrote in January was “How to Spell Alpaca.” This one is super fun because I wrote it SO fast (in about 15 minutes or so). THIS is the writing update if you’re interested in learning more. I talked extensively about this one in that update, but some developments are that I dove into an edit a few weeks ago to really understand the core of the story. I’m still not quite there (this is just an intuitive feeling; I know not everything has “clicked), but I am really intrigued by the two mothers in the story, the narrator, and her newfound acquaintance, Violet. Both really struggle to understand their place as mothers (the narrator even declares she isn’t a mother anymore). The narrator, who is in her 50s, sees herself in Violet, who is much younger (~20s), and so she views Violet’s relationship with her daughter in a cautionary, yet mournful way, like she can see it will end up like her own relationship with her daughter, despite wanting the opposite. This is a really subtle story. I feel like if you blink, you’ll miss the message. But I think it’s compelling for that reason. It’s really a portrait of parenting and how to grapple with mistakes you may make that inevitably affect your children. Wow just unlocked the theme writing this lol.

The final story I wrote in January is “The Party,” which may be in my top 3 faves I’ve ever written. This story follows Aida, a recent divorcee in her ~40s. The day her divorce turns official, she moves into a new house and receives a party invitation addressed to the previous homeowner, yet RSVP’s anyway. At this party, she’s hoping to find some sense of noticeability, having struggled with being nondescript her whole life. Things seem quite normal at the party, until it gets bizarre.

I LOVE this story, y’all. Like “How to Spell Alpaca” it really delves into motherhood. Aida, our narrator, is incredibly hurt after her divorce. She now lives farther from her children she struggled to feel connected to in the first place, and doesn’t really know how to reignite her life. This party is a means to do that. This is the first story I’ve written that contains a “twist” which is strange because I really prefer stories that give us as much info as possible upfront, but yes, this one sort of twists.

February

I wrote one story in February, and that was “Protect the Young.” This title is SO changing when I think of a new one because it’s thematically incorrect, haha, but this story follows a woman in her late 40s whose daughter, Lindy, announces she is married the same day all their backyard chickens turn up dead. The discovery of dead chickens prompts our narrator to recall her ex-husband’s murder and the role her daughter may have played in his death.

I love this story so much! I think this would make a great closing for my short story collection. It just has that vibe! I wrote this for my second fiction workshop. I thought I had to hand in the story a week earlier than I had to, so I panicked and wrote this in one sitting! Little did I know, I did not need to do that lol but I’m very happy because this story is so fun. We get to learn more about Arnold (her ex), his relationship with Lindy, and how that translates to Lindy’s relationship with her new husband, Malcolm. I LOVE true crime (I listen to about 3-4 hours of case coverage daily), and this is my first “true crime” story. Because of that, I’m very sus of a few details that probably wouldn’t slide in actual investigatory work, so I’ll also be working on that in a revision. My professor also gave me a great suggestion that may alter the story’s structure a bit, though I look forward to toggling with it in the future.

March

In March, I was really on a Criminal Minds kick lol. I’ve been watching this show since I was seven (oops), and dove into a rewatch since it hit Disney+! This story, “Where to Run When the Lamb Roars,” is very clearly Rachel watching 5 episodes of CM a day. Oops! We follow 14-year-old Astrid as she and her older half brother kidnap a young girl to sacrifice for their yearly ritual.

I knew a few things going into this story, but the main thing was that I did NOT want to show any details of a potential murder (if one even occurs). I really wanted to keep all of those elements off the page because this story is not about those events, but about Astrid’s relationship with her brother. They are a murderous duo, with Astrid actually being the dominant partner. I wanted to explore that. I knew her brother, Fox, was more of a submissive partner in their team, even when he used to do this same thing with his father when he was much younger (chilling!), and so it was a task to explore how this young girl’s desire for violence works. The end actually comes right before the story starts, one could say, but I like it for this reason. It really made me contemplate the story by the time I finished it, and helped me examine what it really was about versus what it appeared to be about.

April

(TW: sexual content, non explicit)

I was so busy this month! Who knows if I’ll write a story last minute, but I did write one story this month called “Five Times Fast.” I wrote this during a “writing sprint” that was being hosted at a flash fiction workshop I recently took with one of my favourite writers ever, K-Ming Chang. I learned so much from this class, and am so happy I came out of it with a draft! This story is just over 300 words, so the shortest flash I’ve ever written, but I’m really happy with it. It was based off the prompt “describe the last time you or your character was naked.” In this case, the narrator has a “friends with benefits” relationship with Ricky who works at a laundromat. This story highlights a moment in this relationship (and also Ricky’s goofy personality lol). I really like it! Hopefully I’ll submit it to some magazines soon.

My short story collection

Very briefly I wanted to touch on my short story collection which I’ve titled “She is Also Dead.” I’ve been meaning to make a blog post on this, so look out for that in the coming months, but this collection is already at around 35k words (about 14 stories so far). The collection also surprisingly has a solid amount of flash fiction which is kind of fun! There’s definitely a range here, which is what I personally love in short story collections.

I feel very professional now that I have a ~collection chart. This is her:

(image description: A chart with the title “She is Also Dead.” It is broken into four columns: Story, Status, Word Count, and Published. Entry 1 - Story: Slaughter the Animal. Status: Revisions, Word Count, 3982, Published: N/A. Entry 2 - Story: Joanne, I’ll Pray for You, Status: Polished, Word Count: 1809, Published: N/A. Entry 3 - Story: Primary Organs, Status: Published, Word Count: 2342, Published: The Malahat Review. Entry 4 - Story: Faberge, Status, Polished, Word Count: 619, Published: N/A. Entry 5 - Story: The Wolf-Antelope Will Not Come for Us, Status, Polished, Word Count: 1556, Published: filling Station (forthcoming). Entry 6 - Story: How to Spell Alpaca, Status: revisions, Word Count: 1327, Published: N/A. Entry 7 - Story: Blink Twice for Final Judgement, Status: Polished, Word Count: 6572, Published: N/A. Entry 8 - Story: The Species is Dead, Status: Published, Word Count: 1208, Published: Minola Review. Entry 9 - Story: Shark Swimming, Status: Polished, Word Count: 907, Published: N/A. Entry 10 - Story: The Party, Status, Polished, Word Count 2339, Published: N/A. Entry 11 - Story: Fig, Status: Polished, Word Counter: 947, Published: N/A. Entry 12 - Story: Protect the Young, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4128, Published: N/A. Entry 13 - Story: Where to Run When the Lamb Roars, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 2174, Published: N/A. Entry 14 - Story: Phantom Limbs, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4844, Published: N/A.) /end image description.

This order is DEFINITELY not permanent (at this point whenever I write a story, I just fit it randomly into this chart lol), and some of the info is outdated (for example, Slaughter the Animal is now polished!!! thank god!!!). But just an idea of what I’m thinking of including.

This is the summary so far:

In SHE IS ALSO DEAD, characters are pushed to act on their gravest impulses. A small town turns murderous when their local invasive species, the Janices, begin dying. A child struggles to understand her mother’s suicide. A college dropout who insists she’s being haunted by a poltergeist unexpectedly breaks up with her boyfriend. A mother acknowledges her daughter’s murderous tendencies after her backyard chickens mysteriously die. A young girl caters the funeral of a girl rumored to be killed by a wolf-antelope. A newly-divorced mother RSVP’s to a bizarre party she was not invited to, and a murderous brother and sister upkeep their yearly tradition of abducting a young girl. These stories follow characters who navigate death, violent desires, womanhood, and loss, both self-imposed and otherwise.

This is also so subject to change as I may pull and add stories to the collection!

I think I’m going to leave this update here for now! I’ve written TONS of poetry too, but I honestly ~hate my poetry right now lol, so! Hope you enjoyed this chill rambly update. Hope writing has going well for you all! All the best!

--Rachel

#writing #writeblr #writerblr #amwriting #writingupdates

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aotimagines · 3 years

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Aperture [1]

Hey. Remember when this blog hit 5,000 followers and I mentioned I was going to be writing something self-indulgent? The moment has finally arrived, lol. The idea spiraled way out of control before I could stop myself so here we are. This is probably not what the anon meant when they sent this in, but I couldn’t stop myself from plotting this story out. It’ll probably have around 8-10 chapters and I want to be realistic and say I’ll be able to update frequently, but there are no promises. My goal is for a new chapter every two weeks, but it’ll probably be closer to once a month. It will contain NSFW at some point, so minors do not interact. To the anon who sent this request in almost a year ago, I am so sorry this has taken me this long to write. I apologize and hope that this suffices. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy the first chapter!

“Could you lift your head and look towards the camera, please?”

Your breath was nearly whisked away from your lungs at the sight of your model’s eyes flickering towards you, the intensity swirling behind his irises rooting you to your spot. They reflected the ocean itself—deep, vibrant, and tumultuous just like rolling waves and you felt yourself drowning at sea. You could barely tear your eyes away from his ethereal beauty; from the sharp angle of his jaw, to his sinewy, sun-kissed skin. Each and every ripple of muscle resembled someone akin to a Greek statue over real life and the longer you looked at your model, the more difficult it became to stop your eyes from gazed lower…

Immediately, you brought your camera back up to your eye to conceal your reverie and took another photo, peeling the camera back to examine the frame you had just taken with more intense than you should have. “Great!” Your voice came out rushed and quick—high and pitchy. You wanted to die right then and there on the spot, but you needed to act more professional even if you couldn’t resist the temptation to ogle your client’s perfectly sculpted, perfectly nude body.

It was wrong. It was beyond heinous but, the instant Eren Jaeger walked out to your photoshoot and shed his robe, his stunning looks had been on your mind. As a professional photographer, you had seen your fair share of models, both nude and not, so why were you acting so ridiculous? There was something undeniably electric about Eren and the way he was able to express so much emotion through his eyes alone. After having worked with him for only an hour, you could definitely see why he was scouted to be a model. There was an air of shyness that radiated off him despite the wave of confidence that brimmed so brightly from within. It was cute, which felt foreign and almost like an insult when thinking about the man standing before you.

Still, you needed to maintain your composure and do your job. You could allow yourself to be dazzled by your model for a moment, but now you needed to get back to work. Standing, you exchanged a friendly smile with Eren and motioned to his hands, pointing out, “Do you mind if we get some close-up shots of the watch? I know the campaign said that they wanted a full body shot, but I’d like to give some other options…”

“Sure,” he agreed, his electric gaze never leaving your face even as he held out his wrist and loosened the tension. Immediately, you snapped into your role as the photographer and began taking photos, unaware that you inching several steps closer.

Captivated with the elegance of his long, deft fingers, you became enraptured in your own little world and mindless gave instruction and praise, your prior embarrassment all but gotten. You were unaware of the way Eren’s eyes were glued to your every expression; the way your tongue would push through your lips as you found an angle or shape you liked. As exhilarated as you were to photograph him, Eren was, in kind, just as thrilled to way the way you worked. It was difficult tot keep cool and focus on his job with the way you moved around him, the sheer delight across your face almost tangible. He had been subjected to many photographers, some good and bad, but never…

“Okay!” Your voice dragged him from his thoughts, your lips curved into a soft, gentle smile. “I think we got it? Good work, Eren. You were great.”

“Ah—thanks,” he replied, the fabric of his robe hitting his shoulders before he realized it. One of the assistants must have gotten it for him and it took him all but five seconds to realize that he was still standing before you, naked. His cheeks heated up, a tennis ball lodged in the back of his throat, but he managed to force out, “You were a good photographer. It was, uh…easy to follow your instruction.”

You were positively beaming by the time he glanced at your face, eyes wide and sparkling. “Thank-you! That means a lot, especially since I’m kind of new to working on a professional set and everything.”

“Seriously!” Eren couldn’t believe that he was still continuing the conversation—continuing to praise you, a complete and utter stranger—but here he was. Eren was not the type of person to be physically attracted to anyone right off the bat, but there was something so…mesmerizing about you that he couldn’t bring himself to stop talking. “It was a nice shoot. I didn’t even realize we were here for a couple hours.”

“Me either,” came your confession, camera clutched between your hands. “You take direction really well. Oh!” As if an idea just came to your head, you moved to the monitors behind the lights and popped out your SD card, gently sliding the chip inside the reader. Angling your chin, you glanced up at his features, your eyes shining with complete and utter excitement. “Want to see some of the shots? I usually offer to let the models see so they can view the before and after.”

“Uh…” Eren contemplated it for a moment, his mind very cognizant of the fact that he was still only wearing a robe. You seemed completely oblivious to it, which dashed some of his prior thoughts. A moment passed by until he cracked a smile and moved closer to gaze down at the computer monitor. “Sure. I don’t really get a chance to see what I can improve on, or anything.”

Your fingers clicked open the file folder, pulling up the images you had taken not even ten minutes ago. Scrolling through, your eyes darted from one side of the screen to the other as if making mental notes about which ones you wanted to save for editing, later. “Here—this one is really nice,” you said, double-clicking the image until it was pulled up for Eren to see. Despite his nudity being on full display, Eren couldn’t help but notice how…tasteful it was done. Truly, like mentioned in the job description, his focus was on the multitude of watches adorning his wrist, but there was something else about it that…

It was like you had managed to dig deep inside of him and photograph his soul; his emotions. Everything was displayed in his eyes and it took Eren a second to recognize himself. His silence made you worry, hastily bringing up, “Of course, they will look better with editing in post, but—”

Eren shook his head, cutting off your explanation before you could really begin. “No, it’s—it’s not that! Really, the photos are…” He floundered for the right word to describe what you had created; what you had managed to pull out of him and then captured on film. No other photographer had managed that before, so to see himself like that was a little…

“It’s different,” he concluded, gaze still lingering on the images on the screen. “I’m not used to seeing myself look like that. You’re an amazing photographer and I’m sort of struggling to come up with a better compliment than that.”

Visibly, you relaxed upon hearing his praise, pride swelling inside your chest when you realized that he liked the photos. “It makes it easier when my model is able to pull from within, too,” you countered, finally looking up at him after what felt like an eternity. Eren’s eyes met yours and it was like a magnetic field was drawing you closer to him, but you refrained from your urges and settled for exiting out of the photos. It took everything inside of you to swallow back the attraction and fascination that was bubbling inside of you, which only made you antsy and anxious to begin the editing process.

“Anyways, I should let you get dressed. I’m sure you’re itching to get out of here.”

“Ah, right.” Reluctantly, Eren broke eye contact first and stretched, the fabric of his thin robe inching higher against his toned thighs. You jerked your head away from him to conceal the heat crawling across your cheeks and praised whatever deity above that Eren hadn’t paid any attention to your sudden shy demeanor. He seemed to think to himself for a moment before exhaling deeply and walking off, leaving you to skim through the multitude of images you had taken.

A period of time passed because, the next thing you knew, Eren was back by your side, his silky, chocolate-colored tresses pulled back into a bun that rested at the nape of his neck. Small hairs framed his face, only fanning the fuel to his already handsome, boyish looks. You swallowed thickly and offered a smile, rising from your chair to ask, “You heading out?”

“Yeah, but I actually wanted to ask you something, first…” Eyebrow quirked, you watched Eren rock back and forth on his feet, a nervous energy teeming off of him. While the two of you knew nothing about each other outside of first and last names, you couldn’t help but wonder if this was typical behavior. He seemed to self-assured whenever he spoke. Was there something wrong with the photos after all? Before you could ask, Eren’s hand shot out and encircled around your wrist, preventing you from turning away or moving back to your computer screen. “Listen,” he pressed closer, temporarily catching you off guard with how bold he was being, “there’s a party happening later tonight. I really don’t want to go, but my manager said it’d be good for connections and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.”

“Why?” The question escaped your mouth before you could process what was happening, confusion written across your features. You didn’t pull away from his touch, however, and repeated after a moment of clarity, “You barely know me, Eren. We’re strangers. Shouldn’t you invite one of your friends?”

Eren fell silent for a moment before an uncharacteristic smirk danced across his lips. There was something fierce about the glimmer in his eyes and his body language exuded an amount of confidence he had only displayed the instant his eyes locked with your camera lens earlier that afternoon. He leaned in closer, studying the way your face heated up, before murmuring in a low tone, “I saw the way you were looking at me, earlier.”

Embarrassed, you averted your eyes to the ground. “I’m—I’m sorry! Really, I sometimes get lost in my work and you are beautiful, so I…got swept away. It was unprofessional and I swear it won’t happen again, if we happen to work together.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it.” Eren chuckled, the sound so dizzying that you felt yourself drawn to it—to him—like a moth circling a flame. This was a dangerous game you two were playing and you weren’t sure what kind of out come Eren was looking for. Rather, he released your hand and stepped back, the intensity gone and replaced with a softer, kinder smile. “I liked your photos,” he simply stated, his hand resting against his hip as he continued to stare at you. “And you liked what you were able to get out of me. I just thought it’d be a good opportunity to each to know one another.”

“Professionally?”

“Both,” he easily quipped with a shrug of his shoulders.

You ran a hand through your hair, teeth catching your inner cheek. “I don’t know.”

“How about this.” Eren reached for the sharp on your desk and ripped the cap off with his teeth, balancing the piece of plastic between his two lips. Before you could protest, he grabbed your hand again and began to write numbers into your palm, a string of digits staring back up at you. “When you decide what you want to do, you can text me. Even if you don’t want to go with me, specifically, it’d be a good idea to make connections. You said yourself that you’re new to the industry.”

You had said that, didn’t you? Eren’s number stared up at you, silently replaying your words from earlier like a broken record until a heavy, shaky sigh pulled from your lips. You didn’t know what his intentions were, but you figured that you could worry about that, later. Even if you couldn’t decipher Eren’s true nature, the prospect of getting your name out to more people in the industry was too tempting to ignore. “But what do I wear?” you asked weakly, watching as Eren’s features lit up like a light.

“It’s cocktail, but whatever you have should be fine. I really don’t care about what other people are wearing, either way.”

You couldn’t help but laugh genuinely at this, pointing out with amusement dripping from your tone, “Aren’t you a fashion model? Shouldn’t you care about stuff like that?”

Eren scoffed, lips twisted into a smile. “Nah. That kind of stuff is stupid.”

“But then why…?” You stopped, shook your head, and moved to the desk where your cellphone rested. Holding it up, you tilted your head to the side. “So, I’ll text you? I’ll need an address, you know.”

Eren’s name was being called from across the building—probably whoever he brought with him, you noted—but his eyes still lingered on you even as he began to step away. “It’s for seven-thirty. See you!”

You watched as he jogged away until he was completely out of sight, your heart hammering against your ribs repeatedly. You weren’t sure what the hell had just transpired, but the area where his fingers brushed your skin tingled pleasantly as an aftershock effect.

You were way, way in over your head.

#eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren scenarios #eren jaeger imagines #eren imagines #snk imagines #aot imagines #mod elle #idk what else to tag this as #i hope you guys enjoy #srry for all the eren content later #but i warned y'all that i was going to be a lil self indulgent and here it is lol

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inconceivabl3 · 3 years

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This will be a long one!

Alrighty friends. My initial plan was to update the blog as we were going through the process of IVF. Truthfully, there is simply NO time for that along the way! Allow me to explain...

This is our first cycle with IVF, and I didn’t know what to expect prior to starting, but let me tell you I was just blown away by how much work goes into this process. I just assumed it would be similar to the process of IUI’s, with having a day 2 baseline sonogram and then meds for 5 days, and then your day 12 sonogram to check your lining, trigger, etc... BOY WAS I WRONG.

Honestly, so many people said the same thing to me: they had no idea what to expect with IVF so I’m just going to lay it all out on the table and be as descript as possible. Hopefully this will help some people understand the process a little better and therefore know what they’re getting involved in. :)

So cycle day 1 came pretty early for me, or at least I felt it was early. I called my RE and they had me come in for my baseline ultrasound on cycle day 2. On this baseline sonogram, the team is essentially looking to see how your uterus and ovaries look prior to starting. Are there any cysts? Growths? Areas for concern? Etc. They also draw baseline labs (estrodiol level) at this appointment. After the doctor reads the results of the sonogram and labwork, they’ll give you a call to give you instructions on dosing for your medications, which typically start that night. Note to self: definitely stay by the phone that day, these instructions are important and so is the timing of medication! Not a phone call you want to miss.

The medications that were started for me were Gonal-F and Menopur. Both of these are subcutaneous injections that are administered every 24 hours. Gonal-F is a follicle stimulant (follitropin alfa). You got it: it causes the eggs in the ovaries to develop at a faster pace than usual, and basically kicks your body into overdrive on egg production for ovulation. Menopur is also a follicle stimulant, but it contains luteinizing hormone (LH) in addition to follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH). These are typically used in combination for fertility treatment.

I injected these bad boys every night at 6 PM, and oh wowzers the SIDE EFFECTS. Honey. I don't even know how to describe what I was feeling during this time. I imagine it's what menopause must feel like. I had the worst hot flashes--to the point that I felt like I was going to faint--, vertigo and dizzy spells, nausea (likely from the dizzy spells), and headaches. I didn't notice it at first, but I also bloated like crazy. I stepped on the scale the morning of my retrieval and I was literally shocked at the number I saw.

I will say, injecting yourself is a weird phenomenon. It doesn't hurt, at all. I mean that needle is so dang tiny you can barely see it lol, but there's something that just makes you hesitate every time you go to stick yourself. That may or may not have had to do with the Menopur burning like a ~BIOTCH~ upon injection. Oooof, the burn is definitely noticeable. It goes away relatively quickly, but I did take my fertility sister's advice and use cold packs she sent me. That helped right away. It's also a large volume of diluent, so it's not a super comfotable injection. The Gonal-F I never felt and it's also super small. The Menopur was 2 mL of fluid. NOPE.

Around day 6 (I believe), I was instructed to add on another injection: cetrotide. This medication is brought on board to basically prevent premature egg release or early ovulation. Because IVF has to be timed just right, all of the timing on this has to be absolutely controlled. This is why it's so important that you're seen in the office for labs and follow up sonograms every 1 to 2 days. Your team needs to evaluate your results and make sure nothing needs titration.

My estrogen was climbing pretty quickly. My baseline was 69, by the time I was told to trigger it had already reached 3,000!! That number really scared me so I looked it up to be sure that was acceptable, and apparently it is, but it had me shaking in my boots. I have not only read so much about OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome), but my friend went through it and it is definitely scary! OHSS is actually most common in younger women, those who suffer from PCOS, have rapidly rising estradiol levels, a large number of follicles and/or large sized-follicles, and also have a high AMH. Side effects to look out for with OHSS include rapid weight gain, excess bloating, urine retention or a significant decrease in your urination frequency, nausea/vomiting and shortness of breath. OHSS can actualy cause you to throw clots, so PLEASE pay attention to these side effects. It's extremely rare, but it can be fatal.

Anyways, my follicles were growing FAST and LARGE. Which you would think is good, but looking back, I think it was a sign that I was at risk for OHSS. I only did about 5 days of the cetrotide before my office called me and told me I was ready to trigger. I had a lot of follicles on both sides that were greater than 17 mm, and I was only on day 10 of medications! I was instructed to take my trigger shot that night (Ovidrel, which is another injection), and then 36 hours later, BAM, we were suiting up for egg retrieval!

The egg retrieval is quick, but can cause a lot of painful cramping, so you're completely anesthetized for it. Trust me: it's the best nap of your life! You care team uses a long needle/catheter to access the ovaries, and this is how they "retrieve" the eggs. The catheter is inserted vaginally, it's not through the abdomen. A few people had asked me that so wanted to make sure that was understood!

After my procedure, my RE came to my recovery room to tell me they retrieved 32 EGGS, which is CRAZY. (ya think I was hyper-stimulating...?) They did give me a warning that most patients lose approximately 50% of their egg count, but it was still an excellent number to start with. Some people are lucky if they get 10 eggs initially, so I was feeling ultra blessed to come out with 32. An angel or two was certainly looking out for us...

The embryologists call you on days 2, 4 and 6 to give you updates on how your eggs are progressing. I think by day 4 they typically want to see the embryo's reach a 4-cell count (meaning they're dividing appropriately), and by day 5 or 6 they should be blastocysts, which is once the embryo has formed separate cell structures and a fluid cavity. According to the literature, only 20 to 30 percent of embryos become blastocysts, and they also have a higher implantation rate.

My final embryo counts were as follows: of the 32 eggs retrieved, 26 were mature enough to fertilize. 22 of those 26 were successfully fertilized. Of the 22 fertilized, 14 became blastocysts and are currently cryopreserving!!!

Because I was borderline hyperstimulating, it was recommended we wait until next menstrual cycle to do a frozen embryo transfer. So, we'll be calling the office again on my next "cycle day 1" aka the start of a period, but this time we won't need those crazy injectables! Those are only utilized to assist with egg production and retrieval.

This is one heck of an update, and I feel like I just went on lots of tangents throughout, but I really wanted to be as specific as possible for people who have lots of questions! I'm an open book, so if there's anything I wasn't clear on, feel free to ask. Otherwise, be on the lookout for an update in a few short weeks! **crosses fingers and toes**

#ivf #infertilityjourney #infertility #ttc #ivfsupport

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probably-voldemort · 3 years

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i’m just curious, because we all know that darling is the NUMBER 1 clurphy fic, but whilst we’re waiting, do you have any fic recs for us clurphy fans waiting to get our fix? like maybe ur friends have written some one shots n u wanna promote them i just MISS CLURPHY I NEEEEEED SEROTONIN love u hope you’re doing well i’m so sorry your semester is so bad :(

To be entirely fair to my semester, it has mostly been decent, but I’ve officially reached the point of the semester where I’m just really done with everything and don’t want to do anything anymore and also half the assignments I have left don’t make any sense which is fun. But thank you!

And on the note of Clurphy fic recs...

So to be entirely honest, I really haven’t read much that wasn’t a textbook in a while, so for this I’ll mostly just be going through the list on AO3 and seeing what’s happening there and probably won’t have actually read most of these recs yet.

ALSO

Shout out to Clurphy for officially hitting 200 fics on AO3 apparently!!

You go Clurphy!

200 fics is way too many for a single fic rec obviously, so we’ll mostly be going with the most recent fics in order of when they’ve been posted.

Throwing the rec list under a read more so it doesn’t clog up anyone’s dash

Cold Blooded - Rated T - A Twilight fic that I am obsessed with. Technically I’m like 99% sure it’ll be Bellarke endgame but Murphy is Edward and I love it

In the Daylight - Rated T - Haven’t read it yet but Clarke wants a baby and Murphy volunteers to provide the rest of the supplies needed to make that baby

We Carry With The Friends We Made - Not Rated - A zombie/post apocalyptic fic. I read the first chapter when it was posted and it was really good. Didn’t realize it’d been updated so I’ll have to check it out at some point!

beautiful flowers - Rated G - Season 1 post-Murphy’s-banishment AU. Haven’t read it yet but just based on that description I dig it.

and left the secret at the grave - Rated T - Shameless self promotion lol. I wrote this one for troped and it features being snowed in at an inn where a murder (and other crimes??) have been committed so if that’s your jam check it out. Also check out my moodboard and reblog it if you want

Say You’ll Remember Me - Rated M - Titanic AU which looks fantastic

The Rise of Weird Holidays Series - Rated E - Clarke and Murphy are friends with benefits but only on holidays so they start celebrating weird holidays so they can hook up more often

Of Parenting and Accidental TikTok Fame - Rated G - Murphy and Clarke have a baby and Murphy gets accidentally TikTok famous while being a stay at home dad

Comeback Kids - Rated M - Absolutely HEARTBREAKING fic where Clarke and Bellamy were in love but then Bellamy dies and Murphy was Bellamy’s BFF who Clarke didn’t really like but then they fall in love. Only one chapter so far but it made me cry so much omg

Yuletide Carols and Chaos - Not Rated - Looks like a modern exes to lovers with a Christmas theme which sounds high key fantastic

put your faith in the devil and the deep blue sea - Rated M - More shameless self promotion. Clarke goes back in time to save the world from ending and Murphy accidentally also goes back in time. They also hate each other, get super powers, and get stuck in a time loop. Also check out my moodboard and reblog it if you want

It’s Alright, It’s Okay - Rated M - Another time loop but this time it’s canonverse and Clarke made it to the Ark post season 4

Start The New Year Off Right - Rated T - New Years Kiss fic

toxic like you (lively like me) - Rated G - Clarke and Murphy were in isolation together in the Sky Box and fell in love

Two Is Better Than One - Not Rated - Clarke and Murphy have surprise twins

Remember That Night - Rated M - Clarke and Murphy hook up on Valentine’s Day and catch feelings

to anchor within you, sealed in waves - Rated T - Pirates of the Caribbean AU which like YES

Piece Me Back Together - Rated T - Definitely Maybe AU also featuring Murven and Memori (it’s been a bit since I watched the movie so idk who’s endgame but even if endgame isn’t Clurphy it’s still a great plot and so is the part of this fic I read a while back)

Titles Are Over-Rated - Rated T - Modern high school AU, looks like hurt comfort

And that is my fic rec!! Please don’t be discouraged if a fic has less of a personal comment than another. I’ve been in zoom classes all day and I just don’t have the brain power to put any more effort into this than I already did.

Also go check out the Clurphy tag on AO3 because there are a heck ton that aren’t on this rec that are probably also definitely good.

I’ve also posted some non-Clurphy fics on my blog for troped if you want to check those out

And now I’ve probably taken a long enough break from homework and should probably get back at it

#fic rec #clurphy fic #clurphy fic rec #clarke griffin #john murphy

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zirkkun · 3 years

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you don't have to post this if you don't want, i just wanted to let you know I support you. maybe I'm just not in the right headspace to understand, but i truly don't get the mentality that you not wanting to create 18+ content for an au you love, even one that's specifically 18+, is somehow censuring. you are the owner of your blog and you create for you and how you're comfortable doing it? just because you personally aren't publicly making nsfw content doesn't mean other people can't/you don't like them. the only thing I sorta understand is the name thing and how, out of context, it could seem you weren't happy with the original, but even then that's a valid perspective. not everybody has to like an AU, and if someone wants to do their own version there is literally no excuse for sending them hate. this is a fandom of AUs and derivative content, to get mad at someone else for following suit is hypocritical. you aren't in the wrong here, and the people spreading misinformation about you with the intention to hurt (even if they feel thReAtEnED by your PERSONAL AU INTERPRETATION THAT RHEY ARE FREE TO CURATE OUT OF THEIR FEED SHOULD THEY NOT LIKE IT ...) are absolutely being horrendous. I'm here for you if you wanna talk, you can DM on discord or here. I hope you're okay.

I mean, in a way I can understand taking it as censoring, especially after talking to a few people about it directly, since it was a bit of a combination between both the interpretation of the name misunderstanding as well as ULR not being 18+ leading to the conclusion that it was censoring Underlust. But after I explained it, the couple of people who approached me about that specific issue understood pretty quickly, too.

And, in all honesty, if I don't really like something, I wouldn't go through the effort of trying to make anything based off of it. The closest example that I can think of where I did something akin to that is when I once tried like, writing an AU for Fire Emblem Fates, because I love the concept of the games, but thought the execution couldn't have been worse. (I've done insane amounts of research on how it truly was so bad, and honestly, the dev team was a complete mess, so I don't really blame them for how it turned out despite them being the ones that made it lol. They barely could come to a midway point for it, so the fact they released it was a miracle.) Sure, there's points of Underlust I don't like, but as I've said before I could say that about everything I like. Except maybe Promare /j (but it is a good movie)

It's also probably really weird, but like, even with things I know I don't like, I'm willing to read or look into sometimes. Like, I don't like Dreamtale at all, but I've gotten myself fairly invested in More than one fic about it and do like some people's works based on it. I'm between unable to handle and yet can tolerate yandere fics nowadays thanks to Alch's fics and them just being a generally wonderful human being, but like, before that they just sent me into a panic attack lol. Ragnartale is also a weird one I am somehow invested in, since it's like, on the surface, it looks like something I wouldn't enjoy, esp since. None of the ships showcased I'm really into at all. But I'm very invested in it ;w;.

Anyway, my point with this part lol is like, I love seeing different interpretations of the same thing, and it's absolutely wild to me walking into this fandom from every other fandom I've been in where like, and AU is just the same characters in a different scenario, while here an AU is literally a whole separate world based off of either Undertale itself or a different AU entirely and the cast is really varied and even if characters are of the same origin from one AU to another, they're so distinctly different that some of them are unlinkable to the character they originate from. And y'all made a multiverse out of it!! With consistent lore between said multiverse!! Wh?? Like I said I've been on the internet a long time but this is genuinely the only instance I've seen this happen, and while I've been told it used to be worse, y'all are super respectful about stuff here too (and like, notably on YouTube with AMVs and MEPs, people actually credit where they got the fanart from in the description?? It's not all of them, and some may be without permission, but this is still the ONLY fandom I've seen do that and that's one hell of a leg up on everyone else.) It's like weirdly, to me, like... an ideal way art should be? Like, a world where anyone can make whatever they want, and people work with each other and from different things, taking inspiration from each other with credit and care and love and not slamming people in the face with a big copyright button for so much as thinking about making something off of their content (coughnintendocough). Obviously Toby's a chill guy too, for not only allowing this to all happen, but based on that message he left in i think the 5th anniversary vinyls, adores it just as much.

So yeah, definitely being slapped in the face when I step in with my idea after all of that openness before me definitely kinda hurt LMAO. It does feel nice to finally like. Actually talk about it instead of holding it in though. Even if it's actually almost two months later now (cause this happened on like December 5th and i was like already having an awful week with a real bad birthday so that was fun avdbwvsn)

I don't know that the original intent was to spread misinformation, because from what it seemed like, they merely read one post, blocked me, and then told everyone about the information they got from said post, but from there it became misinformation, because that one post is probably the oldest post about ULR and doesn't properly summarize anything about it at all it just has character faces and rules for the ask box lol. And frankly, before I updated it, it was out-of-date and inaccurate as well, cause i never thought it would be necessary to change. But that info that i have is also from like one or two posts my friend snagged off of twitter (cause, well, they blocked me lol), so I'm not really 100% certain.

But even so, thank you for the support man, I think I'm good for now, but I really appreciate your offer and checking in on me like this, it really does mean a lot💕💕

#zircon answers #owl bones #and i dont rlly mind posting at this point tbf #also being on mobile you cant really reply privately which i hate lol #need an xkit for mobile so it functions like desktop sometimes honestly lol

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wholesomemendes · 4 years

Note

any fic recs? not looking for anything in particular, just some good stuff to read ❣️ (asking because i've read all your writing and want to see what you read :) )

i have so many amazing mutuals (and non mutuals) that i love more than anything and if you look in my following 99% of the people i follow are talented writers. buttttt with that being said here are some of my favorites that i can think of off the top of my head right now:

*blogs that i found before i had my own tumblr that i’ve been reading for ages and that inspired me to create a tumblr and write. getting special recognition just because i’ve been in love with them for so long lol

1) @theshawnmendesstorycollection i will sing praises about her masterlist for the rest of my life i’m pretty sure. i’m obsessed with all of her mendes triplets work, Friction being her newest Raul piece that i LOVE. but yeah super great person all around and mega talented so yeah.*

2) @fallinfortom is so beautiful inside and out and everything on her masterlist is a great read. 3am Cuddles is so soft and exactly what you need when you’re feeling down during that time of the month (if you know what i mean wink wink-i hate myself it’s fine)

3) @begginyouformendes is also a super kind human (spoiler alert i’ll say that for all of my mutuals because i love them) that has such an amazing masterlist to read through. Between the Lines is one of my favorites (it’s an author!shawn au) and it’s so adorable but i’m in love with everything on there.*

4) @softboyshawn bro where do i even start on this one. there is not one single fic on their masterlist that i haven’t read twenty million times. i can’t even pick a favorite to be honest because i love them all so much but Fix You is the newest wip from them and i get so excited whenever it’s updated. i’m a sucker for any aus and all of them on there are just incredible. 1 million/10 so so talented highly recommend*

5) @brianc521 is another one that is just *chef’s kiss*. i’m so obsessed with the

CEO Peter series it’s not even funny and i’m super excited to see where the new series they’re working on is going. they are such a talented writer it’s not even funny and they’re another account that i come back to reread their fics when i need something to read randomly because i can never get sick of any of them.*

6) @princecharmingmendes so so kind and also an incredibly talented writer, the mendes triplets fics are absolutely adorable. i love all of the valentine’s day parts for each triplet and i highly recommend to take a look at each part for each triplet. I haven’t read His Hoodie because i suck (honestly i have been meaning to read it because i’m really looking forward to it i just haven’t had the time to read anything lately) but i already know it’s incredible so i’m rating it a 10/10 even though i haven’t read it. i just know it’s good

7) @lavenderhoneymndes god damn when i need some good smut i know where i’m going. i should not love the whole Manners universe as much as i do but it’s too good not to. however, smut aside her aus are so so incredible, honestly some of my favorites, and she writes amazing in every genre. *

8) @sweetwritesx i don’t even know where to start. i had first found their account on wattpad and when i finally found their new account on tumblr i was so flipping excited. they are so talented and are so descriptive in their writing that you feel like you are right in the universe they write about. one of my favorites is Anomaly which came from their old account but i thought about it randomly even when it hadn’t been reposted just because i loved it that much. another 1 million/10 *

9) @fallinallincurls one of the kindest humans i’ve had the chance of interacting with and she’s so talented as well. Stuck with You is so fluffy and soft it melts my heart. her whole masterlist is beautiful and so many make my heart go *poof* *

10) @shawnjpeg has been one of my favorites for so long now. Your Heart Is All I Own makes my heart so soft and i’m just in love with everything on their masterlist. also their series are so incredible so definitely check them out *

ok so this was kinda long but also not long enough because i could go on and on. honestly just check out my following for more fic recs because i follow everyone that i’m currently reading.

also i’ve been really into harry styles lately because my friend got me into him but because i’m a shawn account i wasn’t going to go into detail with those. however, if you are interested in some harry fics some of my current favorites are: @chillmichelle @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy @sunflowervolvimp3 @stylishmuser @goldenhoneypot @smokeinherperfume @harryforvogue @styleslovebot @waitingfortwilight all super super talented so definitely check those out if you’re into harry styles or just want a good read.

#asks #anon

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rpbetter · 3 years

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You make some really good posts!! Can I ask something about DNIs? I know it's not directly RP-related, but I have trouble as an RPer with how many DNIs, with urls, there are now. I try not to interact with muns who have them, I block them, because it feels manipulative? But I'm also tempted to block people who follow those muns, because they probably think their DNIs are okay to have, so they're still "bad", just not as bad? Do you think that's overkill, am I shooting myself in the foot?

Oh, thank you! I'm very happy you've enjoyed them!

And, of course, ask anything at all!

I think, ultimately, the answer to whether that's overkill is entirely dependent on what your experience is and if you're happy with it. I don't think it is overkill at all, but if you feel like it is costing you too many mutuals, it might be overkill for you.

I'm a pretty insular RPer, I like a handful of close writing partners that I write a lot of threads with, so, having something like, under ten writing partners is great for me while it's miserable for other muns. I can go wild on blocking and not have it negatively impact my enjoyment, but I know that's not the case for everyone!

And I do, actually, I do go pretty wild with the blocking when it comes to things like DNIs. If it comes off as policing to me, not just something like a difference of opinion or a strong opinion on something, I'm going to block. Otherwise, it's just recognizing that this isn't a mun I'm going to work out with, but no hard feelings. With policing though...I don't want that anywhere near me or my mutuals, so, it's going to be a block.

Because they do tend to be in these odd, like, nested situations lol I totally will spend the effort if their DNI is bad enough to look at the muns they interact with and make sure I don't have future contact with them either. The RPC is such a big place, making it easier to forget URLs than to remember them, but it's also a place where we establish circles of contact, making it easier to run into the same group repeatedly. I feel like it's better for my peace of mind to be a little more certain than not at all that this isn't going to happen as easily.

If that DNI etc. has been so awful, I definitely don't require their mutuals professing the same beliefs as loudly as they are. If you interact with someone, maybe you don't know their pet fish's name or the obscure lore in a headcanon they posted five years ago or the rule they updated without telling anyone, but you do know what is on their pinned post or blog description or rules. At some point, we all visit each other's blogs in dash-view if nothing else when we're getting replies or checking for memes they might have posted, going through their tags, whatever. I do not believe that you're mutuals who reblog from each other often, reply frequently to each other, ship each other's muses and so forth, and all this time, you've somehow failed to notice your bestie mun is telling proshippers to die in their DNI lmao

No, you've seen it. And I find it extremely hard to believe, too, that it's never come up in conversation OOC either.

So, this hypothetical mutual is so oblivious to others, completely agrees with the other one's views while not feeling confident enough to share them publicly, or is scared enough of the other one that they won't disagree...and no matter which/which combination that might be, they're not a mutual I want.

Especially when it comes to a DNI with someone's URL in it. Hard pass on anyone who is okay with that!

If I visited a writing partner's blog, let's say this person is also my closest friend, I value them and the threads I have with them so much, and I saw that in their DNI they had dropped someone's URL? We would have to talk. I'd have to bring it up because it's the right thing to do (and would also be highly out of character for any of my friends, thus very concerning). There would have to be a question posed about what happened here, why did you feel like this was a good choice, and do you think it's increasing or lessening the problem to have that there?

Honestly, sometimes people do get so upset about something that has happened that their worst impulses are let loose freely. When you ask someone you have an established relationship with about that, unless you're being really hateful about it right off, it can help them settle down, take a step back, and see that this is maybe not the right action to take. To me, silence says you're okay with it.

When muns started putting more elaborate DNI's in, that alone rubbed me the wrong way because I genuinely do not think that the majority of that information is at all necessary. It's something I can see and fully understand minors doing, not because they're terrible or anything but because the impulses and rationale are just different. You're very much geared to be as loud as possible about things that are important to you, making them a part of you in a huge way, as a teenager. Shit just is unreasonably intense! But as an adult, I expect that behavior to be different. You don't actually need to say on your RP blog's DNI that "transphobes WILL be blocked!!!"

Well, yes, I should hope so lol we're a community filled with muns who are trans, I'd certainly hope you were not cool with that kind of thing. It's one of those assumptive states, it goes without saying because, in a group of legitimate adults, it literally doesn't have to be said that a trans mun in a group of trans muns in a RPC filled with trans muns would be intolerant of transphobic assholes.

And, no one likes a damn transphobe, it's not like this stunning, fresh information, here. Not making such a statement does not, in fact, act as a welcome.

Saying that, and I do not mean literally just that, it's just an example of the type of things found in a common DNI, is a little immature for me. Some of those things are, in addition to being purely self-validating: playing into the fear created by policing, virtue signaling, policing, or baiting. And all of them are pointless. Telling someone who would already be bigoted toward you and others to not interact if they somehow miraculously ID as whatever label that takes for them to not interact with your posts is waving a metaphoric red flag in front of a bull. Kind of like tagging a post as either "antis don't interact" or "proshippers don't interact." Actual quickest and most assured way to get that interaction!

I totally understand the age thing, it's self-protecting. Most people do respect it, but when they don't, you've clearly stated that this is not for whatever age group. Things pertaining to your writing and/or muse I also understand and think are great for a quick glance before someone even gets to the rules. Having in a DNI something like "muns who are easily triggered by gore" when you write a horror muse, for instance. You're advising them that this isn't a great idea for them, and it shouldn't be expected that you change your muse and topics because they decided to follow anyway.

But it became excessive very quickly, and there is the expectation that blogs have a DNI. The further expectation is that there be a specific list of things found in that DNI, if yours does not include it, you obviously don't have a problem with those things. I really cannot be okay with that, you know?

However, when it wasn't being used as a callout or a way to police, that was something that could just be ignored. Once URLs of other RPers started to appear, it was a whole other problem.

It used to be the pervading rule of the RPC that it is not alright to force other muns to chose between you and another mun that you had an issue with, but now we have DNIs with other muns' URLs in them. Now, it's the opposite take - if you have an issue with a URL being dropped in a DNI, or if you continue to interact with the mun, you're likely to get a callout or be on the receiving end of other bullying.

So, I very much think the self-insulating thing to do is to avoid those mutuals as well as the RPer with the URL-laden DNI. They could just block you, but is someone who was so juvenile as to put another mun's URL in their damn DNI going to be mature enough to do that? Will their friends once they complain about you? For me, it's too high of a risk of being around muns I wish would take a very long break from RP and only come back once they've grown up some.

I would never advise anyone to do something that is erring on the side of getting them into harassment water unnecessarily (as in, not something that pertains to digging in your heels and writing what you want or not tolerating bullying where you see it happening), and I feel like not doing what you are is that. However, I also am a firm believer in agency, even to make mistakes.

So, if you genuinely feel like blocking mutuals of someone with a URL-dropped/callout/other highly offensive and bullying thing in their DNI is costing you so many chances to RP that you're no longer enjoying yourself here? You might want to consider adjusting how widely you are blocking.

If that's the case, try going for mutuals who are what I call Casual Mutuals and leaving them open. Those are mutuals that the mun doesn't write with often or at all, they're technically mutuals because they both follow each other, but that's it. There might be some liking of posts or even comments or non-committal, OOC style memes sent in by Casual Mutuals, but that interaction is sparse and, yep, casual. These mutuals might legitimately be unaware of the mun's hateful, bullying bullshit in the DNI, or they are actually afraid to unfollow/block them at this point, so their option feels like staying around as quietly as possible.

With that last deal...you could even be doing someone a favor, Anon. When I've encountered that situation before, it's come about because the other person's Casual Mutual is painfully anxious, shy, and a previous victim of bullying. They feel isolated, they don't have many or any writing partners, and they really, truly, are terrified to distance themselves in a way that might be noticed. It's a type of toxic interaction that rarely gets mentioned in PSAs, presumably because it is so low on the actual interaction scale.

Giving them someone else in their corner, especially if that other mun is more open about their intolerant stance on bullying, can go a long way toward giving someone else confidence. I've had other people's Casual Mutuals become my Casual Mutuals and wouldn't you know it? After a while, they get braver. They see my friends and mutuals doing our thing without any of the bullying going on, they see us supporting anti-policing and not tolerating bullying, and they get brave enough to unfollow the hateful mun. It feels nice to even inadvertently help someone, and over the years, some of those Casual Mutuals have become great writing partners, too. People I would have missed if I had made the choice to block them by the association of a hateful mun they were trapped in the orbit of.

Just try to exercise caution! You seem like a reasonable person who doesn't mind truly thinking on things or doing the work required to be cautious. Assume the close mutuals are a problem, too, and block away. Build a wall with some razor wire on it with those blocks! Don't assume the low-interaction, very casual mutuals are, though. Check out their blogs for signs of agreement with Hateful Mun, and if they don't have any, give them a shot as far as just leaving them unblocked goes.

I also have to say, here at the end, that it's extremely nice to see that people out there are doing this. Honestly would have thought I'd be the last person to encourage a ton of blocking, but that's the environment of the RPC now, and it's really the only way we can deal with this issue. You can't reason with these people, you can't stop them, you can only stay away from them for your own good and send a message that this isn't benefiting them. Not everyone agrees with them, they're not going to keep having people left open for their attacks or their RP entertainment. And if enough people are just walling them off, that is a message they'll have to receive because RP runs on interaction with others.

They might think they want every "nasty ass" xyz Problematic RPer to block them, not interact, or vanish from their view of the RPC, but I don't think they realize what that really looks like. What it looks like is a huge percentage of the RPC missing, including people they didn't realize were "problematic." We tend to be quieter, wanting to stay in our own lanes and actually enjoy the hobby and each other. That's why they have to resort to shit like making everyone pre-guilty, or setting up traps to catch people out on being "gross."

So, I genuinely do not think they're prepared for the rude awakening of silence that would happen if we all actually vanished, but I am dying to see it lol and do sometimes have to wonder if the complaints about the RPC being dead/dying/empty, not in a fandom but overall, are coming from the purity police some of the time. It's quite active over on the Leave Folks Alone Over Fiction side of life :D

#answered #anonymous #policing #dni lists #blocking #rp advice #rp problems

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ddaenghoney · 4 years

Text

chapter seven

masterlist link in blog description.

As a successful songwriter, you want nothing more than the acknowledgment that the chart-topping musical pieces are your own creations. But contracts, relationships, and the difficulty of facing the stakes involved head on, keep your mouth shut until pressure builds too much.

Pairing(s): Park Jimin x Y/N, Min Yoongi x Y/N

disclaimer: any characters depicted do not represent the actual personality of the respected idol in real life.

Series warning(s)/genre(s): Chapter-based written fic, Slow-burn relationship(s), Fake-dating, Unrequited love, Songwriter/producer!oc, idol!Jimin, idol/songwriter/producer!Yoongi, friends with benefits, drama, romance, smut, angst, fluff (updated as needed)

Chapter warning(s): none.

Word count: 5064

if you enjoy please, please let me know!

Yoongi, 2:36pm: Can you meet me at my apartment? I have to upload some things, and my stylists are going to set up there.

Y/N, 2:37pm: Yeah, hopefully I’ll be there before four. I don’t know what Yerin wants.

Your head lifts from your rigid posture on the couch, glancing in the direction of the elevator as a random employee delivers mail to the secretary. She told you to sit and wait approximately twenty minutes ago. The man returns to the elevator, bidding a cheerful goodbye to the girl who waves back at him. Your eyebrows furrow back down at your lap, hoping her normal demeanor can be taken as a positive sign for you.

Yoongi, 2:40pm: Whatever she says can’t be too awful. You haven’t done anything wrong.

Though you’re inclined to agree, at this point in your hole of misdeeds you wonder if even the tiniest things could set her off nowadays. The dates you and Yoongi go on aren’t blatantly full of affection, but given your mutual lack of acting--and desire to be affectionate with one another, you think you’re both done pretty good. Twitter likes it all, from what you have looked at, and celebrity news outlets commonly refer to you both positively as well.

Y/N, 2:42pm: Maybe she’s going to ask me to break up with you at the dinner thing later

Yoongi, 2:43pm: Wouldn’t you like that lol

Yoongi, 2:43pm: Well me too though

If anything good has come from the fake dating, it’s getting on stable foundation with Yoongi. Especially where production is concerned, he’s your favorite person to work with, even if all the things he’s let you have been informal content. The collaborative efforts have been a great use of your spare time, so much so that you don’t mind if they don’t amount to anything he’ll ever actually use. He said the songs aren’t likely to be, because of what he wants done with him, and how their styles won’t work properly with the conjured persona his management team deeply loves to publicize.

An image that you’ve found to be quite different to whom Yoongi actually is. One he also dislikes.

Yoongi, 2:50pm: I’m ordering pizza because I hear the food they plan to serve is going to be weird

Y/N, 2:50pm: You’re a hero… If you get cheese stuffed crust… I’ll buy one million copies of your next album….

Yoongi, 2:51pm: Get your wallet ready then (was already getting stuffed crust though)

“Ms.,” You turn your gaze to the secretary, thoughts of the enjoyable comfort food drifting from your thoughts as she smiles politely, “Ms. Baek is ready for you.”

Walking into the office, you’re met with Yerin sitting back relaxed in her seat, seemingly tranquil. She gestures with her hand to the empty chair across her desk, then uses it to take hold of her coffee mug, taking a languid sip. Unassuming, somewhat welcoming. You remain proper in the straightness of your spine as you sit, simply saying a small greeting that felt repressed like you were in her presence.

“I won’t take long with this.” She flips her hair behind her shoulder, rolling the wheels of her seat closer to the desk. “Just a check-up.” You nod, not fully understanding what she means, considering she hasn’t done anything like this since your first year of working in the company. “From what I see in the press the relationship is going over nicely. It helps giving some official information first to the main news sites that’ll give beneficial commentary.” She goes on like there’s a check-list of points in her head to cross off, while you nod. The first headline to drop the company’s official statement dressed the relationship with pretty phrasing, and light-hearted banter in the paragraphs about pictures of you and Yoongi on the first visible date. “It may start getting a little trickier now, though.” She takes another moment to drink her beverage while you noticeably frown.

“The appeal won’t simply die down?” You ask, words weightless of strength and only curious. Yerin shakes her head, finger tapping on her notepad while she explains,

“No, there’s always going to be a desire for public pictures of an open relationship like this; especially considering Min Yoongi’s prestige in the public’s eye.” At that you nod once, accepting that tidbit of information to be correct, especially with how much acclaim his work has received in recent years. “With that being said, there needs to be more out of you both.”

You only stare at her, taking in the ideas behind her words, hoping you’re misunderstanding, but knowing that not to be the case.

“Yes, as in more physical interaction.” Straightforward. Yerin rests her chin on her hand as though what she’s saying is cumbersome to explain. She shrugs, catching you off-guard as she beats you to commentary, “I know it’s obnoxious and, perhaps, uncomfortable, but that’s how it is. I’m not telling you to make out with each other in the streets, but hand-holding won’t cut it forever.”

“I,” You bite your lip, not happy with the idea of talking back to her, considering you and Yoongi had already gone in this deep with the thing. But you should speak for yourself. “I don’t think I can do things like that with someone I don’t genuinely like in that way. It’s going to look awkward-- I can’t even see Yoongi agreeing to this idea, either.”

“I know he wouldn’t.” She nods, glancing from you to the window. “Like I say: I don’t need you both to make out, or even kiss. In fact, I don’t want you both to be spotted kissing, that runs the risk of being too unprofessional. Just act more friendly than you both do now. You can still have your boundaries of no real physical affection, but delve deeper for the sake of cameras and people outside of the company’s perception.”

Your head tilts in disappointment of her unwavering decision, though you can’t help but agree with her worry of media’s perception. Not that you truly wanted to deceive people, but from the objective perspective of a general person, Yoongi and you only ever held hands in public, sat across at tables with no further physical interaction-- you both haven’t even faked a selfie session. You bite the inside of your cheek, still trying the last card, “And if Yoongi doesn’t go along with this at all?”

“He will.” Yerin cooly responds to you, finally shifting her crisp stare back to your person. You’re stiff at her words’ finality, wondering how she can be so sure. “Besides that all,” Her calculative actions and stoic demeanor are truly the most intimidating things about Yerin. “You’ve been working on music with him.”

Like how she’s able to state information she has received without you possibly understanding where she would have received it from.

“Y-Yeah,” Because you’re surprised, the affirmation stutters, but you clear it up in the retort. “It’s not against policy.” She nods in agreement,

“No, it’s not. I’m not upset with the fact. Just acknowledging it. Of course I’d want the best of the company’s songwriters to be collaborative with one another.” You nibble on your lip, eyes widening slightly at the high-praise of your value. “I was going to try and get you to help him with his upcoming album anyways; it’s best that it happened naturally, considering how particular he is.” Your shoulders feel less burdened to straighten, fueled by the change in topics that ended up being so much more uplifting than you would like to admit out loud. “Keep up the good work. It always shows you do your best.”

---

A plate with crumbs and the faint remains of a few drops of tomato sauce sit cold on the night stand beside Yoongi’s bed. You sit in a desk chair wheeled in from his spare room under bright lights the stylists brought from the company as you receive their final touches of makeup. It feels like an hour has passed, making you murmur of worry at the idea you and Yoongi would arrive late to this dinner he was cordially invited to.

But on the other hand you’re fine with the delay. Still trying to figure out a way to express Yerin’s order of more PDA to Yoongi, after avoiding discussion of anything in regards to the meeting once you arrived at his apartment. Timely as it was, he had just finished his appearance preparations, and greeted you with steaming slices of cheesy pizza questioning immediately if everything went okay.

You hurried in a yes, fumbling over words but able to avoid untactfully blurting that she wants more from you both.

“Y/N,” The familiar stylist says your name with pride, overlooking you from behind as you take in your freshly styled makeup, hair, and the perfectly fitting dress that you chose out of five options. It holds the contours of your figure with grace, a bandeau-style neckline, with the sleeves purposefully sewn to fall off your shoulders loosely, and somehow in an ethereal way. The fabric’s shine under the fluorescence entirely highlights the rich shade of bronze, and as you take in the entirety of the ensemble-- beautifully black heels and all-- you can definitely agree with the tone that the stylist goes on in. “This dress kills. You have great taste.”

If the foundation didn’t layer your skin, you’d likely have a noticeable flush of confidence, but that aspect is evident in your widening smile. Hell, looking this nice may be convincing enough for Yoongi attend more to those demands Yerin asked you of.

You bite your lip at the thought, head shifting to disperse it entirely--silly idea, maybe even conceited, plus it’s Yoongi you’re talking about. It’s only Yoongi.

“Wow,” You catch sight of the man himself enter behind you, his reflection in the mirror showcasing a fixated, noticeably surprised, expression. Your chest beats with more warmth, fueled in confidence from his reaction that you didn’t genuinely think would occur. You turn, biting your inner cheek as he simply remains quiet, unabashedly taking in the outfit as you properly faced him. Then Yoongi startles in the quiet, releasing the door knob from his hand and entering into his bedroom, wandering towards the rack of clothing that was brought for him, facing it as he finishes. “You look nice, Y/N.”

“Nice isn’t enough, Yoongi.” You nearly cough as his stylist interrupts the moment, missing your lips tighten to refrain from smiling bashfully at his comment. “You should tell her at least a paragraph’s worth of words-- I mean, look at her!” She rambles, adjusting his suit coat while Yoongi allows her to, casting you a glance. This one contained entirely to find your eyes. He smiles softly and nods as though to tell you he genuinely means the small sentence he said.

You didn’t need him to. You knew.

“So,” Yoongi says, comfortably beside you as you both ride to the destination. “Sorry if this dinner thing ends up being really boring for you.” He speaks quietly, somewhat slowly like he’s looking for something to comment on. “I wanted to skip it, since I’m not a fan of the host, but couldn’t get out of it with Yerin.”

You know the statements reasoning invite you to question his disdain of the host, but you miss the chance to keep on track with the subject of Yerin. “Speaking of Yerin,” Watching him flinch a little as your voice raises, you just ignore it and get out the phrasing as innocently as you can, “She,” You reach to fiddle with your hair, smiling in a nervous manner that he could get upset by the idea. Yoongi’s lips curl a little in a frown, taking in your evident worry about whatever you are about to say, and he knew he had the right idea when you shuffled past him to get your makeup done, barely remembering to get pizza until he reminded you. Something definitely happened. “She wants us to be a bit more physical than just holding hands.” Your voice trails, as does your eye contact in favor of the seat’s polyester.

Yoongi’s frown remains, due now to the confusion on why that was so difficult for you to say to him. Judging by past interactions with her, he had a feeling that would eventually come. The idea that she directly asked you instead of having himself present as well for the request makes him uncomfortable. Wondering what her methodology was when this message clearly made you worried to pass along. He sighs, irritated again by the odd work relationship between you and Yerin. But Yoongi’s gentle as he answers you, subconsciously happy when he notices your shoulders lose tension and he settles your small bundling worries. “That’s okay. We’ll figure out some other stuff to pacify the media.”

Your eyes find Yoongi’s profile as he looks out at the passing evening scenery. You’re skeptical. He was just as against the fake relationship as you were in the beginning, so seeing him go along with this new addition as easily as this feels strange. And you wonder even more how Yerin was able to assure you this occurring outcome would come to be. “I’m sorry I couldn’t convince her against it.”

Yoongi faces you, eyebrows furrowing in dismay at your need to apologize, “This isn’t your fault; you don’t need to apologize.” He shrugs, admitting softly, “I had a feeling she’d want more eventually.”

“But not a lot, don’t worry.” You try to soothe your own discomfort as you remind yourself, “Just small things-- not kissing obviously.” Yoongi chuckles, rubbing his neck, humored by the way you pop in small comments.

“Obviously.” He mimics your tone, earning a small pat from you against his arm as you pout at the teasing. Embarrassed, but he didn’t push it. “I know what you mean, Y/N. It’ll be okay, we’re not doing anything either of us are uncomfortable with.”

“Do you want to have some sort of signal in case we cross boundaries like that?” You ponder ideas of how to be subtle, but pause as Yoongi murmurs absently, as though what he says is casual knowledge,

“I think we understand each other well enough to know without that.” Despite the statement sounding unassuming, you can’t deny little jitters of warmth at its implication, but you shrug them away, thinking in the end that it’s silly to read so much into simple things like that.

The car comes to a stop, the area outside sparse of crowds due to the lowkey nature of the dinner party that is apparently only supposed to be learned about after the event concludes. Nonetheless, you exit from the vehicle, holding Yoongi’s hand as he helps you out. The usual. Leading you both into the tower, you think maybe posting a picture with him on your social media account could be enough to suffice for the evening, leaving you both with an opportunity to think of other things for future dates, but as Yoongi’s hand strays to find a gentle purchase around your waist, tugging you closer to him in the slightly busy elevator shaft, you realize he’s able to adapt easily to the new parameters of the fake relationship. Like he didn’t have to think at all.

“Too much?” The words feel like they brush into your hair, but so quietly in order to keep the other few people in the elevator as away from the question as possible. Your head shakes only a little, and it’s not enough to convince him as the grip begins to loosen, then stray away, but you can’t be the only one lagging in this. He didn’t like it either, but you shouldn’t force Yoongi into making all of the effort. You hand shadows over his before it leaves your waist, keeping it situated, warmth leaving the tips of your fingers and onto his skin chilled from the short walk inside. “Okay.” You register his nodding beside, as well as the fluster very slightly in his voice.

Your responsive giggling falls before you’re able to stop it, humored by his shy reaction and how you thought Yoongi was effortless in acting like your boyfriend. Clearly as nervous about the small things as you are. You shift closer towards him when his hand suddenly squeezes in a tickling manner, and you glance up at him only to try harder to muffle laughter as he looks down at you completely embarrassed with his lips straight in a tight line that makes his cheeks fuller.

“Stop-”

“I’m sorry.” You nod away the entertained thoughts, then smile at him dramatically, overly apologetic, trying to play it all away with humor. Yoongi just shakes his head, sighing softly when the door opens.

“I’m not good at this I know.” He says vaguely enough for those who could happen to listen in, but of course you understand. As such you shake your head, walking as he leads you both to the reception area cluttered with celebrities and those sporting designer clothing to fit into it all.

“Listen, we both clearly suck at this.” You respond, catching sight of the refreshments going around on dishes. Yoongi was right: they looked weird. “But we’ll probably get better, I guess.” You shrug, wondering why the event is called a dinner party when no formal dining tables were anywhere to be seen. Instead, you catch sight of people throughout the music industry and beyond, casually involved with one another in dignified manners. Practiced at the art of social interaction, and from what you could see most weren’t meeting for the first time that evening. Feeling like you’re the odd one out. “Don’t ditch me in this, please.”

“No plans of that. Don’t worry.” You step in further with him, altering position so that his hand leaves your waist in favor of your hand, for the ease of walking. You keep close, realizing more and more by your unfamiliarity with everyone that you’re not a part of the world that plays out in the party. Idol and producer Min Yoongi’s date, but not songwriter and producer yourself.

“Just when I thought I was going to get iced out of here.” Walking ceases at a clear voice that causes Yoongi to pause, looking beyond you while you do the same. You immediately bite your lip, trying to refrain from the shock of Jung Hoseok walking towards the two of you, suit sleek, with the patterned shirt beneath it glimmering, a flute of a drink half-finished in his hand, and a bright smirk present. You’re silent, glancing back to Yoongi who responds instantaneously,

“How are you here?” Yoongi speaks quietly, eyes narrowing with baffled shock. You try to think back on any mentions of him knowing Hoseok before, but draw blanks. Then again, why wouldn’t we, they worked at the same company previously. You narrow your eyes at this thought, in your own world for the moment while you get vague recollection of headlines surrounding Hoseok about a year earlier than you hadn’t paid much attention to. The implications of so leading to his removal from the company, and left uncontracted to SoundWave following the merger.

“Believe it or not, people still like me that aren’t the press.” He says with a shrug, sipping at his flute while Yoongi continues to look perplexed by Hoseok standing there. You can’t think of why in particular. Hoseok looks to you before Yoongi can fumble out any other response, smiling politely with an extending hand, “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself. You must be Y/N. I’m Hoseok.”

“You know who I am?” You ask in surprise, then recall his hand and shake it in greeting.

“Yoongi told me about you-”

“Hoseok, this is Seulgi’s party.” Yoongi’s continued concern shows, attempting to get Hoseok back on task to the conversation of being there. At mention of the host’s name, you remember it in relation to Hoseok’s in the headlines last year. Jimin had mentioned something about one of their careers getting damaged because of their relationship being caught in limelight. You hadn’t concerned yourself with that, instead fixating on the way the same could happen in your own situation, so as Yoongi sets the last piece of the puzzle in your mind, you revert into quiet.

Calmly looking up at Hoseok who turns his gaze back to Yoongi, you wonder like Yoongi what he’s doing there. A tiny part of you wanting to ask what happened if only to grasp at some fake comfort in knowing that it wouldn��t happen to you at this point. The only good thing perhaps that you could find so far.

“Obviously I know that.” He nods, taking a moment before speaking. “She let me in, it’s not like I snuck through security.” Yoongi’s hand around yours stiffens, worrying you a little that the small statement made him upset, but his expression looks torn instead. “Came with a friend that wanted to come.”

“Yoongi-” The three of you startle as a new person enters the hushed conversation. She steps passed Hoseok, ignoring his presence entirely, and instead smiling wide at Yoongi as she goes on, dress glittering under fluorescence. “You came after all. I’m glad.”

Where Hoseok’s sudden entrance felt easy to adjust to, the appearance of Seulgi is opposite. You feel uncertain of how to take in her sunshine tone towards Yoongi, while Hoseok takes another long drink to finish off his flute, eyes drifting from her to somewhere away. You swallow nervously, feeling implications hiding quietly around the bubble that felt hostile despite the cheerful demeanor the model and idol group member in front of you portrays. “Company said I had to.”

“Don’t be like that,” She teases reaching for a gentle nudge against Yoongi’s arm that intends to remain until he shrugs it off. The hand holding yours tightens once more, and you step closer to him before realizing so, concerned only with creating some type of barrier between them, because Yoongi seemed uncomfortable. “Ah,” Seulgi’s styled waves of rich brown fall over her shoulder as she looks towards you, polite smile, discerning eyes. “The rumors were true after all, hm?” She disregards greetings, head tilting back to Yoongi, “I want to catch up. I’ll show you to the open bar?”

“I’m not planning to drink much, or stay too long actually. Y/N and I have things to do in a while.” After listening to the decline, Seulgi’s eyes take a quick glance again, searching for confirmation that comes in the form of your head nodding, putting on a false, polite smile of your own. Your gaze perhaps more irritated than she would have liked to receive, so she smiles coyly. Nodding once, though chuckling sarcastically,

“What kind of plans happen at almost midnight on a Friday night, Yoon?” In the corner of your eye, Hoseok’s frame notably tenses, releasing a baffled scoff that Seulgi pays no mind to, and Yoongi doesn’t miss a beat in his reply,

“Things that don’t concern you.”

“Harsh.” She giggles like the conversation is an amusing game. “Y/N, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.” You’re undeterred by her obviously knowing who you are, trying to roll with the punches as well as Yoongi does.

“You have your work cut out with this one.” She never looks at you as she speaks, never acknowledges Hoseok beside her, just intent on staring daggers into Yoongi’s eyes while the rest of her presents itself as quaint and easy-going.

“I didn’t ask.”

Seulgi’s head turns towards you, dark red lips parted for only a moment at your dry remark, before they close again. She properly takes you in, eyes narrowing in what appears to be a lapse of confusion, while Hoseok beside her chuckles in the midst of it all. She exhales a sigh at his antics, then a small smirk blossoms, matching the condescension in her speech, “Guess it’d be boring if he picked someone that can’t talk back.”

“Seulgi,” Yoongi steps between you two, eyes narrowed towards her but his voice is controlled, appearance utterly poised for any outsider to notice. She takes only a half step back, unafraid, but giving distance to cross her arms dismissively. “Leave her out of this. Don’t get any ideas.”

Seulgi looks at him silently, unbothered by the definite demand Yoongi speaks towards her. You get the feeling that she doesn’t buy it, likely hoping to push him even further. Letting you easily understand why Yoongi had so much reluctance in attending this particular event.

You tug the connection of your hands, causing Yoongi’s head to glance back at you, eyes speckled with the lighting and appearing concerned that something is wrong. Your lips tighten towards him, the smallest of head shakes telling him this isn’t worth it. You feel relaxation in his grip on your hand, returning to the feelings you’re used to, and Yoongi turns to Seulgi who speaks before he can get the two of you away, “Humor me with a chat.”

“Why should I?” His eyes narrow at her offer that she’s confident in. Seulgi takes a look to Hoseok who’s maintained near complete silence despite what his character is known for in the public. Eyes to Yoongi, releasing depth that you didn’t understand,

“Considering last year, you owe me.” Despite the majority of him faced away, you knew her statement struck a chord with Yoongi. Jaw stiffening and eyes narrowing in emotions other than anger. Like he lost to her. Lost to something that happened. You can’t help but frown, worry cascading around your stomach that tells you this isn’t a good change at all. As you turn to see Hoseok’s opinion on this discussion you find him only looking at Seulgi from the corner of his eyes, concerned, confused, curious.

If she was his ex then what does she want with Yoongi.

Yoongi sighs after what feels like an eternity, holding your hand still as he steps away from Seulgi and Hoseok only a few paces. His body faces from them, blocking you from their view as your holding hands dangle between you both. “I’m sorry, I need to talk to her though.”

You want to ask why but your lack of involvement and importance to Yoongi lead you to avoid that, but you’re visibly worried. Tone matching as you still try softly with concern, “Is everything okay, Yoongi?”

He nibbles his lip, though nods. Words gentle, apologetic. “I’ll tell you about it some other time, but I won’t take long.” He pauses, eyes appearing to frown in memory of his earlier promise to stay with you through the entire party. “I’m sorry, I really won’t be long. We can leave after; I don’t want to stay.”

You nod slowly, still wondering if you should let him, but having no reason to stop the situation that is the biggest cause of his discomfort. “Yeah, of course. Don’t worry about it.”

“You’re bad at lying.” He says softly, smiling a little sheepishly, while giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. You shake your head, but Yoongi halts you from your need to cover up. “I think you’re worried. It’ll be okay though, it won’t be a long talk. Wait for me at the bar?”

You nod, thinking he appears hesitant to leave you, even after releasing your hand. But Yoongi eventually turns, finding Seulgi patiently behind him despite her still crossed arms. Hoseok’s disappeared, escaped to another part of the venue, and you’re unsure if he spoke to her at all during your small discussion with Yoongi. Then Yoongi and Seulgi disappear as well, mixing into the crowds and going off somewhere.

You sigh, wondering about the dense amount of history and problems between the three of them, and thinking if Yoongi would be okay when he seemed so bothered by Seulgi’s implications. Stepping in the direction of the bar, you try to ignore it, leaving it to Yoongi to handle, because it is clear he wants to. Despite his obvious animosity there is something for him to work through. He said he’d tell you about it.

Your lip drags between your teeth in an attempt to smother the warmth you feel that he trusts you in that way. After Yoongi’s tried to give you an outlet for your problems, and trying to overlook his early judgements of your person to give you the benefit of the doubt, you feel happy that there could be a way for you to help him through any of his troubles as well.

Through the partygoers you walk along, finding the bar as lively as it would be. However, you’re not entirely interested in passing time with anything, instead using the location just as the place to meet with Yoongi after his discussion concludes. You take another look at the attendees, curious if any other big names that you admire have come out, but for the most part see artists of other agencies, socialites, and people you’ve never seen before in the slightest. The atmosphere seems inviting, though you can’t help but feel away from it. Aside from your lack of public image, the people around act separate, like there are things to hide and appearances to keep up, like how Yoongi did his best to maintain visible composure in the jabs between him and Seulgi who herself acted just as well-adjusted as him. Even in this semi-private sphere, people are on guard, unwillingly to give out pieces of themselves that are unsightly, or even human.

Your eyes hit head after head, bewildered by how different this party is despite what you would expect from people who seemingly have it all; even the recognition you crave. Then the gaze halts, locked on sight with the most familiar face you should’ve expected to see tonight. In the midst of Yerin’s slight praise, and the advancing air of friendship between you and Yoongi, the idea of something to upset the positivity left your thoughts long ago.

But as Jimin stands paces from you, eyes greeting yours silently, you wish you considered this outcome. And wished you tugged Yoongi and you out of this party altogether to have a night unbothered.

if you enjoy please, please let me know! i hope you enjoy the series, i’m working really hard on it! : )

tag list (send an ask to be added): @jaiuneamesolitaiire @tsvkino-usagi @xionysus

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jimimn · 3 years

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HHFJSLASI YOU AND I ARE JUST PROFESSIONALS WHEN IT COMES TO RAMBLING AND I LOVE IT I'LL MAKE THIS FIRST ASK SHORT SO THAT YOU CAN ADD THE READ MORE AND PUT THE REST UNDER THE CUT SO THAT YOUR FOLLOWERS DON'T HAVE TO DO A LOT OF SCROLLING LMAO - 💫

your brain i love it 😌😌

MISS SHIVI YOU'RE TOO SWEET 🤧💞 HFAKKA JUNGKOOK MADE THE WORLD STOP WITH THAT HAIR DYE AT THIS POINT I'M JUST ✨ manifesting ✨ a selfie of him with that hair and I know for a fact that the moment that one selfie comes out ITS OVER FOR US and OMG IN A BUN??? JDJAKJD I THINK YOURE SPEAKING THE DEVIL INTO EXISTENCE. BLONDE JIKOOK SELCA LETS GO BOYS COME ON DON'T BE SHY 🧚‍♂️🌸

OOOPS THAT IDOL PERFORMANCE DOES LIVE IN MY HEAD RENT FREE THO...ESP ALL OF THEIR GROWLS..CALM DOWN??? JIMIN?? EXCUSE YOU.

AND JUNGKOOK'S OUTFIT WAS SO HOTJFJSLQJDJWKA. I did watch the performances later and can attest that DYNAMITE SLOW JAM IS NOW MY ANTHEM AND BLONDE JUNGKOOK SINGING IT IS DEFINITELY NOT GOOD FOR MY SANITY

CHANEL MODEL!JIMIN MISS SHIVI I AM THINKING MANY THOUGHTS NOW FOR REAL THO HE SHOULD TOTALLY WEAR MORE CHOKERS AND CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM FINISHING A PERFORMANCE ANF THEN RIPPING IT OFF AND THROWING INTO THE CROWD LIKE JSLWLAKF DEATH UPON US ALL!!! Honestly he can wear anything at this point and ummm 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️ BUT FBKSKA I HOPE THIS ISNT WEIRD BUT I JUST THOUGHT OF JIMIN'S COLLARBONES PEAKING OUT FROM UNDER THE CHOKER AND WE'RE GOING A LITTLE FERAL AGAIN

BODY ROLLS DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED THERE IS NOTHING MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN HIM NOT ONLY BEING SO HOT BUT ALSO USING PERFECT TECHNIQUE!! AND THAT GAZE BYE I'M SHORT CIRCUITING HE CLEARLY KNOWS HIS POWER AND ISN'T AFRAID TO USE IT aND THAT LOOK GAAAAH 5TH MUSTER JIMIN COME HOME PLS THE FOOD IS COLD AND EVERYONE'S ASKING WHERE YOU ARE (me....I'm everyone) NO NOO DON'T BE SORRY I LOVE IT TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR MUSINGS *cups face in hand and leans on table*

AND I AGREE!! TAEHYUNG LOOKING GOOD IN THAT SUIT ONLY SHOWS US THAT THE GODS TOOK THEIR SWEET TIME ON HIM AND LMFAO I MEAN THEY'RE NOT WRONG THO 🤡 IS A PRETTY ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF US and omg you've got a sister!! that's so nice 💓

LITERALLY ON WITH THAT DANCE BREAK IN A CONCERT WITH JIMIN JUMPING OVER JUNGKOOK WHEN I TELL YOU I UGLY CRIED FOR HOURS AFTER SEEING THAT DURING THE MV PREMIERE I DON'T THINK I'LL LIVE KNOWING THEY DID IT IN A CONCERT and ooooooo you should definitely keep hoping!! We got an I need u performance, so anything's possible!! I got into them with bs&t so it makes me very 🤧🤧🤧 in retrospect but nothing about jimin dancing his jacket off was 🤧 it was more of a 🥵😵🥴🤕🤒 type of feeling LMAO

I KNOW RIGHT I LOVE HOW THEY ALWAYS GIVE US LIL UPDATES EVERYWHERE LIKE "OO I WENT CAMPING" "OO WE ATE BREAD!!" "OOO LOOK WE'RE JUST GOING TO DROP COVERS AND SELCAS SO YOU CAN LOSE WHATEVER LITTLE SANITY REMAINED!!" BUT YES TIMES LIKE THAT WHEN HE TWEETS JIMIN IS THE LITERAL EMBODIMENT OF THE BIGGEST HEART EMOJI

AND FJSLADHK I NEVER TOLD YOU LMAO MY BRAIN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️ MY BIAS IS JIMIN!! I MEAN BY THE LOOKS OF IT YOURS IS TOO HE MAKES US ALL SO 💕💓💫💓💗💕🌺🌈💘💓✨💗💓🌸💕💝🌈💓💗 ITS A LITTLE EMBARRASSING HOW MUCH HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE WOW HOW AM I LETTING A MAN WHOM I DON'T EVEN KNOW HAVE SO MUCH CONTROL OF ME. HE'S JUST... EVERYTHING 🥺 I'M IN MY BREAK AND A LITTLE TOO EMO RIGHT NOW!! BUT I GUESS YOUR BIAS IS JIMIN TOO RIGHT? TAKING BY YOUR LOVELY BLOG AND BRUTALLY HONEST (IN THE BEST WAY!) URL LMAO IF NOT THEM I'M SORRY FOR PRESUMING 🙈🙈 but tell me!! how did you get into them??

(god...I'm just looking and I see I wrote too much I'm so sorry fksjwlfo)-💫

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i love seeing your asks in my inbox ok they make me very happy 🤧🤧 BLONDE JIKOOK IN A BUN SELCA I AM MANIFESTING!!!!!!!! BOYS JUST OPEN YOUR GALLERY AND DROP THEM SELCAS I KNOW YOU HAVE A LOT OF THEM PLS SPARE SOME FOR US THANX 😭

JIMIN IN THAT IDOL PERFORMANCE HOLY SHIT YES 😳 LIKE EXCUSE ME WHAT KIND OF DISRESPECT IS THAT 👁👄👁 and then in the same week he became small cuddly jimin with a boopable nose during the home performance 😔

istg jungkook looked like a very hot rich ceo of a huge company or sth 😳😳 (which he actually is sdfghjk atleast partially sdfg)

CHANEL NEEDS TO CALL JIMIN ASAP 🔫🔫🔫 AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAKING ME IMAGINE WILD SCENARIOS LIKE THAT 😭 ok imagine him smirking the “i know im hot” smirk after he throws the choker DEATH OK ABSOLUTE DEATHHHHHHHH and omg yes his collarbones along with the choker 😳😳😳😳 (and no its not weird asdfghj chill)

AND OMG THAT IS THE BIGGEST PROBLEM RIGHTTTTT!!!! THAT PARK JIMIN IS ABSOLUTELY AWARE OF THE POWER HE HOLDS AND HOW HOT HE IS!!!!! AND HE USES IT JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT WHICH IS KNOWS IS ENOUGH FOR US TO GO ABSOLUTELY FERAL and he’s such a fucking tease too dear lord i can’t with him 😭😭😭😭😭 AND OMG “*cups face in hand and leans on table*” STOP BEING SO CUTE OKAY WTF I AM BLUSHING HERE 😭😭😭😭

AND YES 🤡 IS DEFINITELY ALL OF US 🤣 i remember waiting for 12 am kst every freaking day for a week before BE dropped and big hit was like “not today you absolute clowns” on all our faces 🤡 AND YESS AAAAAAAA she’s not my own sister though!! she’s my aunt’s daughter. they’ve come to visit us for a week 🥰🥰

ON DANCE BREAK WITH JIMIN JUMPING OVER JUNGKOOK HOLY FRIKKIN YES BUT HAVEN’T THEY STOPPED DOING THAT JUMP IN THE RECENT PERFORMANCES? im sad :(((( BUT YES THAT IN A CONCERT WITH ARMY CHEERING AND FANCHANTS AND EVERYTHING HOLY SHIT CAN’T IMAGINE THE ENERGY IN THE STADIUM DURING THAT 🤯🤯🤯🤯 ARE YOU KIDDING I GOT INTO THEM WITH BS&T AS WELL. i am never ever ever going to be over that song. and yes jimin’s “accidental” jacket flips in bs&t are the reason is why i live and breathe 😌😌 (and simultaneously die multiple deaths) I AM NOT EVEN MAKING SENSE ANYMORE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AND OMG I KNOW RIGHT WHEN CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED WITHOUT A FUCKING CLUE I WENT !@#$%^&*()&^%$#@q@#$%^&*( BECAUSE I HAD JUST WOKEN UP FROM SLEEP AND /?????? NEW SONG FROM JIMIN??????? THAT FELING WAS JUST HHHHHHHHHHHHHH atleast tae gave us a hint BUT I WAS STILL NOT READY WHEN SNOW FLOWER DROPPED. DAMN I HOPE THEY DON’T DO THIS NO WARNING THING WITH KTH1 AND JJK1 BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE FUCKING SLEEPING WHEN THEY DROP ASDFGHJK AND JIMIN AAAAAAAA JIMIN I MISS HIM SO MUCH CAN HE GO LIVE AGAIN PLS I JUST WANT TO HEAR HIS SOFT VOICE AND SEE HIS EYE SMILE AND FLOOFY HAIR AND TINY HANDS :(((((((

AND OMG YOURS TOO???? 😭😭😭 AND PRESUMPTION WHAT PRESUMPTION OMG OFC MY BIAS IS JIMIN (and six bias wreckers 😌😌) LIKE I HAVE JIMIN IN MY ICON AND IN MY HEADER AND IN MY URL AND I GIF JIMIN MOSTLY SO 😭😭😭 WHAT PRESUMPTION 😭😭😭 and god yes i love every little thing about him 🥺🥺🥺 FROM HIS SOCK DOODLES TO HIM BEING SUPER CLUMSY AND HIS JACKET FLIPS AND HIS SEXY BRAIN AND HIS KIND HEART AND HIM NOT GIVING TWO FUCKS ABOUT GENDER TO HIM GROWLING ON STAGE TO HIS NIPSLIPS I JUST!!!!!LOVE!!!!!!EVERYTHING!!!!! 🤧🤧🤧🤧 AND yes lmao my url ok story time!! so when i made this blog... i didn’t know i’d get into giffing and stuff lol so the friend who got me into bts (i’ll come to that story later) suggested jiminsjacketflip as a url for my blog but i was like nah this doesn’t sound cool so i added a bit of ✨pazzaz✨ and made it flipthatjacketjiminie LMFAOOOOO and ive been wanting to change it for a while now because its so fucking long and my watermark on gifs looks shitty because of that 🤡 but i haven’t found anything as unique as this one yet and i also think that if I change my url people won’t recognize me so im just..... living with this one lmaooooo 🤡

AND OKAY OMG so i got into them at the end of june 2020. My friend anna (who also has a blog and makes a++++ gifs @/lifegoesmon) got me into them. She made me listen to them and the first song i heard was stay gold as far as i remember and then it was BS&T AND GODDAMN THE WAY I GOT FUCKING HOOKED TO THE SONG I KEPT LISTENING TO IT ALLLLLLLL DAYYYYYYY and then she showed me the performance for bs&t and i knew i was a goner 🥴🥴 then I watched chaotic bts compilations and they were so fucking funny and adorable that i went like???? how are they so sexy and intimidating on stage and this adorable and chaotic off stage?😭😭😭 we listened to bts’ discography for like three hours on the first day and she shared her playlist with me and stuff and god I just fell for their music. and then obviously with their dance and then obviously with everything about them 🥺🥺 HOW ABOUT YOUUUUUUUU? WHEN AND HOW DID YOU GET INTO THEM???? (and pls don’t be sorry sdfghjk i love reading your asks 💖💖💖) OH ALSO DID YOU WATCH RUNNNNN???????? WHICH ONES DID YOU WATCH????

#anonymous #replied #💫

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tachinanabananase · 5 years

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makoharu fic rec list? 🙏

Oh gosh, where do I even begin with this!! So many fics I love, and sooooo many amazing authors, some who I’ve even been lucky enough to become friends with! I’ll do my best to include as many as possible and that I remember (it’s been a while since I went through my favorite fics, and I’ve read so many that keeping track is difficult. Like you really have no idea. there’s 24 pages of history in my AO3 account, and that doesn’t include one’s I’ve read while not logged in. So you can imagine, it’s hard to separate them all in memory).

But first, a few quick things:

1. These are in NO particular order, just as I found them in my history :)

2. Sorry this took me so long to answer, I got caught up re-reading a few of them while I was trying to refresh my memory...

3. Don’t be surprised most of them are NSFW. I tend to filter my fics specifically looking for it because I’m a shameless hoe so sue me

4. My descriptions are super unhelpful and mostly just my thoughts about the fic but not actually a summary of it. I recommend reading the summaries and tags as they’re listed on AO3 for more details and sensitive content warnings!

Here we go!

(NSFW)

Frenzied by Thesis - I always always ALWAYS recommend this fic. It’s one of those ones I still go back to and read sometimes. It’s wonderfully suspenseful, so angsty and full of delicious smut and has a happy ending, so like, what’s not to like? 1000% a favorite fic of mine.

Dead Reckoning by furiosity - lol my AO3 history says I visited this fic 55 times if that doesn’t say how much I love it I don’t know what else will

I drove all night (to get to you) by maybeillride - This one is short, but I really like the way it reads, it has a great flow and overall the tone is just super captivating. The dirty stuff is brief at the end but it’s just descriptive enough to get you all warm and tingly inside :))))

Winter in the City by relativestranger - This fic. I followed its updates religiously and the chapter titles are a gem. I really enjoy how this author takes the time to create a world and really paint the picture of each scene, plus I love college AUs that don’t try too hard to overdo anything. Also, slowburn is the key to my heart

Coral and Bone by @macbetha - Okay sorry if this one is obvious but Macbetha is a fic writing god in this fandom and honestly, I like this one of theirs best. Talk about mermaid AUs. Very immersive, well written as usual. I’ll be honest, I haven’t had the chance to read the last few chapters, but I’m sure they’re just as good as the rest of it.

tomorrow, you might love me by nezumiprefersdanielleovershakespeare - Alrighty so I didn’t remember what this one was and I reread it and wow holy shhhiiiiiiiit this is something else. Mostly canon compliant with their high school storyline and domestic af. Plus the way this author writes is so captivating and also very Haru, it’s like spot on. Gives you the major feels, some healthy angst, and of course a wonderfully happy ending.

Just Friends by FruitsOfPassion- if you know me and read my fics, you KNOW this is my kind of fic. Sloppy drunk mistake hookups that lead to lots of miscommunication and angst before they both realize they’re in love with each other. Also if I remember correctly, this one is v dirty ;)

Touch Me by Gemmiel - okay there are so many good fics in this one series alone so I just recommend reading them all. The author is 10000000000%%% and there’s a really nice balance of smut and fluff and everything in between. Honestly just read everything by them it’s worth it!

connotation by magicianprince - this freaking fic. This is the fic that deadass inspired me to write my whole Hot for Teacher series. I have no other words, it holds a special place in my heart because of that :)

Can You See Me? by choking_on_roses (orphan_account) - another fic that heavily inspired me. I love Rockband AUs with all the glam and drama and of course, angst. Once again, fair warning this one is unfinished and I’m pretty sure abandoned (I know, I’m still sad about it too), but it’s a damn good read still.

Had we but world enough, and time by anditwasstinky (thewicked) - Mermaid au, hella long and an emo rollercoaster ENJOY

His Camera by LensMind - Makoto has a very dirty secret, and Haru happens to find out and simply cannot get enough of it. Very much a guilty pleasure fic, sooo juicy and the actual epitome of sexual tension and just ugh. I’d definitely consider it a favorite of mine...

Take Me Home by otp_tears - This one is really cool. A bit of sci-fi, memory loss, and a hell of a lot of angst. Basically Haru’s consciousness is transferred to a new body after he “dies” from an illness, and he has to deal with remembering who he is and his relationships while Makoto has to deal with separating the Haru he knew from the Haru he is now. It’s very sad but also a super interesting concept, the author did a good job tackling a difficult fic like this!

2/13189000 by tothemoon - this fic is the ultimate rec. I see it in everyone’s posts, but i can’t NOT recommend it because it’s amazing. So there you go enough said just read it k thxbye

Finger Slip by thoughtless_dreamer - phone sex fic ENOUGH SAID

safe landing by heinsou - I found this on my fic-rec tag on my blog. It’s the way that the fireworks scene SHOULD have gone. Emotional rollercoaster but wow soooo worth it because this author makes you feel shit real good

(SFW)

A Kingdom For You and Me by @datheetjoella - I have an unending amount of loving words for this fic and this author. Joella has been a fic writing inspiration for me for I don’t even know how long. I can pick out her writing style without even looking at this point. She’s incredible, and has written plenty for than just this fic which I also HIGHLY recommend (and not just because one of them is a special gift for me :3)

Me Too by Flightless_Bird - Ohh ho ho I remember the first time I read this, it gave me major goosebumps. Basically Makoto shows up for one of Haru’s swim meets and there is hella sexual tension right before Haru’s race It’s one of those fics that makes you wish there was a 10,000 word sequel for... other things...

Between the Raindrops by westgate - Makoto is home alone during a rainstorm and Haru is his knight in shining armour! I’m weak for protective Haru and first kiss fics, and this one is certainly a gem.

The Voltage of Our Heartbeats by @datheetjoella - another Joella fic (not surprising lmao) but this one really gets me because coincidentally, her and I were both working on power-outage fics at the same time when she wrote this. I really loved hers though, so I couldn’t resist putting this one down too hehe

Okay I’m running out of patience and quickly realizing theres so many fics I love I could work on this ask for days so here’s a second Fic Rec post I made a while ago with some repeats and a few others that are definitely worth a mention. It might be more helpful too because when I made it I actually was currently reading some of them or remembered a lot of them better.

I hope this is some sufficient reading material for you, anon! And please don’t forget to check out the fics of yours truly as well hehe

#asks #fic rec #makoharu #tachibana makoto #nanase haruka #harumako #free!#fanfiction #fanfiction recommendation #i wish i knew everyone's tumblr alias so I could tag them all #but that's a lot of work #so hopefully this is helpful #i'm assuming it will be at least a little #because that's a lot of fics lol #and I didn't even get through them all #I might add more later #when i'm less overwhelmed #thanks for the ask!

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