#i see him and i think he should be put in a hamster cage | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theamityelf · 7 days

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How does mini thh and sdr2 cast pet place look like? I remember aoi had cup as swimming pools but how about others? I'm sorry if confusing English isn't my first language.

This is a great question (and your English is perfectly fine)!

This is just a brainstorm, but here's what I'm thinking right now.

Mini THH AU

Okay, first, let's look at the standard SDR2 room (with the understanding that some people have bookshelves, etc.)

Most of the senpais would put their kouhai's living space on the long, wooden piece of furniture beneath the TV. (Would we call that a dresser? A TV stand? Idk.) It's a lot of space for a tiny person to walk around, and they can get to the little cushioned seat from there.

Makoto- Nagito is very resourceful, so he would set up a very practical living space for Makoto. I'm thinking the bed is an empty matchbox wrapped in bubblewrap, or something of the sort, and any fabric can serve as a blanket. It's comfortable, creative, and simple. The bed is positioned in the little corner near the cushioned seat, so he doesn't get too much direct sunlight. There's a call bell nearby, in case he needs to get Nagito's attention, since it would be really hard for him to make himself heard otherwise, especially if Nagito is asleep. He also makes sure the floor below is covered in soft things, in case Makoto falls or, in extreme cases, needs to jump. (He lectures Makoto that, if someone ever breaks in to kill Nagito, he should jump down and hide under the cushioned seat, where they won't be able to reach him. And he asks that Makoto not rat out the killer, as that would ruin the game and it's Nagito's final wish that he not ruin the game.)

Kyoko- Hajime folds up a blanket and puts it in a shoebox for her. That's where she sleeps. She frequently climbs out and wanders around; she is very rarely still there when he wakes up. It scares him half to death, how she just disappears on him. Her general attitude toward that is "I understand why you feel that way, but I need to investigate, so it can't be helped."

Byakuya- I'm going to say that Sonia converts a jewelry box into a multi-story house for him. There are stairs and everything. His blankets are handkerchiefs monogrammed with her initials. There are snacks, and there is a water bottle like the kind hamsters use, which Gundham taught her how to make. Byakuya has gone out of his way to optain a pin light, and once they have access to the library, he uses an open book as the fourth wall of his little house. So, he can read at night.

Aoi- I think at some point I said something like "Akane gives her a fish bowl", but I think it might be more of a bin of water. Like, a rectangular bin, long enough that she can kind of swim laps. Her bed is a shoebox with a blanket inside. She has a cup of water, separately, in case she gets thirsty, and a plate with a doughnut on it (covered by plastic wrap, to avoid attracting bugs). And I think Akane might at some point worry about Hina having a balanced diet, so maybe there's some chicken alongside the doughnut. As a late night snack.

Yasuhiro- Bowl with a blanket.

Toko- Gundham creates a little room. Like Nagito, he fashioned a bed with an actual attempt at a sturdy box covered by a cushioning surface in addition to whatever serves as a blanket. He makes sure she has paper, something to write with, and a light. Every night, he makes sure her living space is clean (no dust or pet hair that would make her sneeze) before he sends her to bed. The walls and ceiling of her terrarium are formed by an upside-down shoebox with a hole cut into it for a door. She also has a window cut into it, through which she can drink from another hamster-style water bottle if she wants. On one hand, I'm sure Gundham makes every attempt to prevent his hamsters from bothering her, but on the other hand, I like to imagine Toko cuddling with one of them in her sleep. Like, Gundham wakes up and sees only three hamsters in whatever cage or habitat they sleep in, and he takes the box off of Toko's room and find her cuddling with San-D. I just think it would be sweet.

Sayaka- Shoebox with a blanket. And there's a kazoo in it that is too big for her to use, and maybe a small teddy bear or other stuffed animal.

Mukuro- Shoebox with a blanket.

Leon- Shoebox with a blanket, but there's also a fun tiny obstacle course. And the hanging plant is taken down, so that Leon can climb into it if he needs to, because Nekomaru knows all about late night bathroom breaks, and there's no judgement here. It's all fertilizer, man!

Chihiro- Kazuichi goes all out. Chihiro has a working shower, a working toilet (empties into the trash can), a working fan, and a covered living space with a motorized door.

Mondo- Shoebox with a blanket, which Fuyuhiko places on a small table that he pulls close to his bed, on the side that can't be accessed from the door. There's another shoebox with a blanket (a decoy one) on the dresser, but Mondo sleeps in the one by his bed.

Taka- His bed is a shoebox with a blanket, but it's in bed with Mikan rather than on a dresser or table. She stuffs pillows around it, to make sure it doesn't fall out of the bed while she's sleeping. (That's just where he sleeps; he does have a little space on the dresser, where he can get dressed and walk around and stuff.) Sometimes, in her sleep, Mikan will reach into the box to make sure he's still there. So, like...imagine you're sleeping and a giant finger just lightly grazes your back.

Hifumi- Upside-down shoebox with one wall removed and a blanket under it. Instead of the dresser, he's on her photography desk in the far corner, so when he wakes up, he steps out of the box and looks at her photos in the light of the rising sun.

Celeste- Chiaki builds an elaborate, multi-shoebox house that is cool but completely impractical. There is a bed, but it's very difficult to navigate to. Celeste just drags her blanket down to the cushioned seat and sleeps there.

Sakura- Hiyoko just straight up puts Sakura in bed with her, with nothing to prevent Hiyoko from rolling over and squishing her. She also sleeps with a few stuffed animals and a bag of gummy bears.

Junko- Shoebox with a blanket, suspended where the hanging plant once was to avoid letting her get into any mischief while he's sleeping. (Imposter has calculated the elevation, relative to her size, and determined that if she fell or jumped, she wouldn't die; she would just be too injured to do anything else.)

Mini Senpais AU

Now, let's see the standard THH room. (Except ignore the sword, lol.)

The viable surfaces there are the table, desk, and shelf.

Nagito- He's on the table, which is pulled relatively close to Makoto's bed, with a bridge between them so he can wake or otherwise access Makoto if he needs to. He has a flashlight and some reading materials. His bed is a shoebox with one side cut out and a blanket inside. He has a pillowcase acting as a shade/tent over his living space. He also (upon his own request) has a rope or ladder allowing him to climb down to the floor if he wants to. It's pretty cool.

Hajime- Shoebox with a blanket, on the shelf. Specifically, the part of the shelf that can't be seen from the door. And Kyoko might use strategically-positioned laundry to keep people from looking in that corner too closely. It's against the rules to let one's senpai die; best to be careful. She can't solve the mystery if she loses him.

Sonia- Byakuya takes the drawers out of his desk and makes that emptied space Sonia's room. A watch box serves as the bed, a cufflink box serves as her wardrobe, and a handkerchief hangs as a shade for privacy. At least for the first night; he'll commission one of the other boys (probably Hifumi) to build something with a roof. Namely, it would be a four-wall dollhouse that opens with a latch and hinge. It stays open all the time, though, because Sonia feels kind of claustrophobic, knowing she can't open it once it's closed. Byakuya didn't intend it as a power trip; it just seemed like the most luxurious option. Also, there's a jewelry chandelier. Byakuya interior decorates the crap out of that thing.

Akane- Shoebox with a blanket, on the desk. Hina also pulls out the drawers to act like a ladder, so Akane can wander the room as much as she wants. And there are snacks in the top drawer. The issue is, Hina likes to run laps around her room in the morning, and Akane thinks it's fun to run around while she's doing that and narrowly avoid getting crushed, which is terrifying for Hina.

Teruteru- Shoebox with a blanket, on the table. There are windchimes dangling above it, and whoever wakes up first rings the windchimes.

Gundham- He's on the shelf. Toko probably gives him a towel from the bathroom to sleep on. It's soft enough, and he can fold a corner over himself for a blanket.

Ibuki- Pillow on the shelf.

Peko- Shoebox with a blanket, on the desk.

Nekomaru- Shoebox with a blanket, on the shelf.

Kazuichi- On the table. Chihiro initially goes the shoebox-with-a-blanket route and feels pretty proud of it, but finding out that a lot of people did that and considered it the low-effort, obvious option, Chihiro feels ashamed and tries to build something with the tool kit. It doesn't come out very good, because they've never built anything like that before, and Kazuichi reassures them that he likes the shoebox. It's comfortable. It works.

Fuyuhiko- Shoebox with a blanket, on the table.

Mikan- Taka sets up curtains all around the desk so she can have privacy. He makes a bed for her out of his watch box and makes sure she always has food and water in her living space. She has a call bell in case she needs anything.

Mahiru- Hifumi makes her house before he makes one for anyone else, which accidentally results in hers being the most basic one. It's like a birdhouse, which she doesn't mind; she can go in and out of it without needing to ask for help, and she has the privacy of four walls. Hifumi's glasses case is her bed.

Chiaki- Celeste asks Hifumi to build a dollhouse for her. (The open-front kind.) Super aesthetic, super functional.

Hiyoko- She's on the shelf. Rather than on top of the shelf, Sakura gives her an interior level of the shelf, which she lines with a blanket and fills with soft things. (She found some stuffed animals in the warehouse, and Hiyoko likes them a lot; she sleeps on the tummy of a stuffed rabbit.) And there's a bell, in case Hiyoko needs something.

Imposter- There is no telling where Imposter is, in this one, but for the moment it seems he's just outside the school doing despair stuff.

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fangirlfrom-hell · 7 months

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The Funeral || Jay and Will Halstead x Halstead Sister

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly delated my blog 🫠 (I'm so relieved I found this one)

One of my hamsters passed away early in the morning and it was a bit dramatic. He died of old age, he was 2 and a half years. I've been crying all single day, nonstop. I was also planning on going out to skate this afternoon, but I couldn't. I wrote this thinking about him, of course. Ugh, I'm way to affected by this. I hope you read this story until the very end.

Even when he was profundly asleep and deep into his dreams, Jay's eyes snapped open and jumped when he visualized the face of his sister very, very close to him.

-"Jay". She kept repeating and moving him by the shoulder. Her eyes were red and her tiny face all wet, but it was hard to notice. It was dawn and the sunbeams coming through the window weren't that strong to illuminate the room.

Still half asleep and feeling confused, Jay couldn't do anything but blink fast and rub his face trying to wake up. It was until Becca talked again that he noticed she was crying.

-"Jay, something's wrong with Gus".

He put on his shirt and next thing he was leaning towards the hamster's cage.

-"See? He doesn't move".

Indeed, the small orange animal was still in one of the corners, his heavy breathing was notorious because the sides of his belly were moving very fast. His black eyes were almost closed. Jay had the idea to give the rodent a sunflower seed, but he didn't take it even when it was his favorite treat.

-"How old is he, Becc? I don't recall when you adopted him"

-"About two years old...I got it when mom got sick".

He turned to look at his sister with a bit of pity in his eyes. He didn't know a lot about hamsters, but it was sure that two years was a very advanced age for these kind of pets.

-"Alright. Let me search a bit, maybe we can find a clue about what's going on with Gus". He reassured the girl by touching her shoulder and went back to the couch to pick up his phone. The clock marked 6:20am, too early to take it to tje vet. He googled whatever came to his mind: Why is my hamster breathing very fast? or My hamster is struggling to move and also How to know if my hamster is dying. He scanned a lot of articles gathering any information that could be useful for the case.

-"Becc, it says it could be something about abrupt temperature changes..."

-"But he-- is always warm-- enough". She managed to say between sobs.

-"Right. Um, I don't think it would hurt to put something like a small blanket in his cage. Wait--". He dissappeared into his room and after a lot of noises came back with a sock in his hands: "Here. This might help". His hopes were very low, but it was worth trying.

Gus simply didn't heed about the sock. Instead, he tried to move around the cage, stumbling with each object on it. He tried to climb his little house-castle, but failed. He kept walking, struggling to move his hind legs, until he fell over the plate of food. Instinctively, Becca tenderly took him out of there.

-"Jay, he's very cold". She sniffled, getting more upseat as seconds passed. The girl placed the hamster in the table, but this time he couldn't even hold himself up. "Jay!" Becca cried loud.

Her brother knew that was the final sign: Gus was going to die and there was nothing to do about it. He grabbed the animal putting his both hands together. There, the hamster began to take his last breaths, which was a very hard scene for Becca to witness.

There was only one way of saying, the fastest the better: "Sweetie, Gus is dying".

She knew it, but was unable to say a word. Jay passed the little body to his sister and it gave the last breath in her little hands. Immediatly, Becca seeked for her brother's arms and started bawling.

The first rays of sunlight began to enter through the window and dimly illuminated the rodent.

-"He--looks so--beutiful--and in--peace". She sobbed still attached to the detective.

-"Yes, he does. But we should cover him, Becc. Just let me..." He released his sister for an instant and procedeed to tenderly put the hamster inside of the sock.

-"We are going to bury him...".

-"Of course".

Becca started weeping once more, her feelings were very volatile : "...make a funeral and all. Gus deserves it. Call Will, he should be here too".

-"I'll tell you what. Later we'll go out to buy a plant and a cute flowerpot to bury him in there, it will be as a new home for him. We can leave it in the window and that way you will always be close to him. But right now is still too early and you really need to rest". He tucked her hair behind her ears to clear her face. He also tried to wipe the tears, but there were so many more comming out of her big eyes.

The two siblings sat in the living room couch. Becca settled her head on her brother's chest and quicky fall asleep, snnifling from time to time. Jay sent a text to Will before threwing his head back to rest.

It was already the evening. The colorful flowerpot and the suculent cactus Becca chose for Gus were placed on the table, right next to his cage. Even when the hamster was covered inside of the sock, the little girl couldn't help to cry whenever she saw the spot. Actually, her crying had been intermittent along the whole day, something notorious in her pink puffed eyes and pronounced baggy eyes.

The name Hailey Upton appeared on Jay's phone screen and he twisted his mouth as soon as he read the text:

See you later?

The whole Intelligence unit was going to gather at Molly's and he had forgotten about it. He wasn't in the mood, anyway. Jay was also feeling a bit down, not so much for the animal, but for his sister. They were very attached, so it was easy for him to absorb and be affected by her amotions. It was also important for him to stay by her side, he felt it was his responsability to make her feel secure. So it wasn't hard to answer back to his girlfriend:

I have to organize and attend a funeral.

By the time the sunset came, the orange rays of sun trespassing the windows gave a touch of solemnity to the atmosphere. Becca was wearing a formal black dress and shiny shoes of the same color. Jay put on the clothes he would usually wear for a trial day, only without a necktie. When Will arrived to his brother's appartment, he noticed his little sisters' glassy eyes from the distance and walked right straight to hug her: "I'm sorry, Becc. I know how much you cared for Gus".

-"He was my friend". She stated with a lump in her throat.

-"Alright. We should start".

The three Halstead siblings positioned themselves in front of the cage. Becca was in the middle, half a step in front of her brothers. Will fixed his necktie while Jay lit a candle, it was a touching scene to see them this united. Becca was about to start speaking, but got interrupted by the doorbell.

-"That's weird"Jay frowned: "Hold on a sec".

Confusion was evident in his countenance when he opened the door and saw Hailey and Trudy Platt on the other side.

-"Hey! Sorry to interrupt". Hailey started talking in a low voice: "Everybody was asking for you at the bar and when I told them why you couldn't go, well...we decided to come over".

The rest of the detectives started to arrive ony by one from the side of the hallway.

-"I hope we're not late, bro". Kevin said as soon as he showed up.

-"Not at all. We were actually about to start". Jay fully opened the door to let them all in: "Becc, you have visits".

Platt was carrying three boxes in her hands: "I brought cinnamon rolls for the outcome".

-"And I got everything to prepare hot chocolate". Kim passed with a bag in her hands: "Hot chocolate eases the pain". She winked to her friend.

Becca's lower lips started quivering, she was moved by the presence of her brother's friends. Even Hank Voight attended the ceremony and shared some words with the grieving girl: "I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure it was a great pet".

-"He was, indeed". The youger sibling muttered with puffy eyes.

Adam, Kim, Kevin, Platt, Voight and Hailey gathered around the cage, standing up around the Halsteads ready to start the funeral.

Becca cleared her throat before her speech, but it didn't help at all to her shaky voice and chocked sobs: "Gus--you were named-- after the mouse from Cinderella. Mom--helped me picked your name--because it was our favorite movie". After the mention of their mother, Will squeezed her shoulder. -"You were always there--for me--during good and--hard times. You always made me feel a--ccompanied even during the time I was a--lone. You al--ways helped me re--member my mommy". Jay and Will shared a painful look. -"Thank--you for listening to--me at all ti--messs, for kee-ping my se-crets, and ta--king away my so--rrow. I don't know wh--what I'm gonna do with--out you in my room, it will be so emp--ty. I fffffeel empty. You were so--good to me, I just hope I--was good for you too. I hope you had a good life, I did my-- best. I--already miss you so--much. Now my mommy--will take care of you. I'm sure she miss-ed you. I--love you and I al--ways will". She ended with an attack of hiccups.

The room was in complete dead silence. Burgess was swallowing hard trying to avoid the tears to roll down her cheeks. On the other hand, Hailey being closer to the family, couldn't avoid it. Voight was standing with his hands on his pockets staring at the floor, Kevin next to the boss with his crossed arms and tight lips. Everyone in the room was touched in a way by the little Haltead speech.

After a few seconds of pause, Becca turned yo face Jay, who was freezed, deep into his toughts.

-"It's time to..."

-"Sure, sorry". He opened the cage and fondly took the hamster out to carefully place him inside of his new spot.

Becca got closer and grabbed some soil with a hand shovel to start burying him, but she paralyzed at the image of her little orange friend wrapped in the sock already half buried. She stared at her brother and slowly moved her head from one side to another, saying no.

-"Do you want me to do it?" He asked already proceeding.

Silent tears quickly transformed into a strong bawling for Becca. Will rushed to hug her and she hid her face in his shirt, leaving it all wet.

When Jay finished planting the cactus over the buried body, he opened the jar of sunflower seeds and took one tu put it over the fresh soil of the tumb: "Thank you, Gus, for taking care of our sister". He said outloud, from the bottom of his heart. He knew the hamster was important for her, but he never imagined how much.

-"Yes, thank you very much". Will followed his brother's idea and then passed the jar to Becca. The girl kissed the seed before leaving it in the place. The dynamic was supposed to stop there, but Hailey affectionately took the jar from the girl's hands and made it roll until every single person in the room did the same gesture.

With the ceremony being over, everybody got comfortable and found a place to sit between the kitchen chairs and the small living room. Becca sat in the sofa, laying over Jay who was holding her as tight as he could. She was physically devastated and tired, her big eyes looked small after all the crying, some silent tears were still rolling eventually.

Hailey was sitting on the other side, with her hand touching her leg as a soothing gesture: "You took good care of him, you shouldn't doubt it. He had a very long life for a hamster".

-"Now he's a plant" Her voice was broken and raspy: "And he has a new little house".

Every now and then, Jay and Will crossed their eyes and stared at each other for a fragment of seconds. It was enough to know they were affected by her sister's words and the mention of their mother, the same ideas going around their minds, meaning they would have a conversation as soon as they find themselves alone.

Trudy, with a cinnamon roll in her hand, bent to be at Becca's height and offered the piece of bread: "I know you like these a lot". Her smile was so warm it would melt the poles.

Following Platt, Kim stretched her hand with a mug of hot chocolate: "And this will help to ease your heartache, trust me".

Thanks for reading. If you liked it, it would help my soul if you give it a like, comment or share. 😌♡

♡ A video of my buddy happily moving his whiskers, because I want you all to have this mental image of Gus (Altough his name wasn't it):

#jay halstead #one chicago #chicago pd #halstead sister #jay halstead x halstead sister #will halstead #chicago med #jay halstead imagine #will halstead x halstead sister #jay halstead x sister #will halstead x sister #will halstead imagine #chicago pd fic #chicago med fic #halstead! sister

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humanharvest · 6 months

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Hey! Sorry to bother you but I saw you answer an ask where you talked about your headcanons for Johnny Cage and Kuai Liang's friendship and now I really wanna hear more headcanons of yours, if you want to share?

Sorry again if this is a bother, feel free to ignore it!

noo it's not a bother at all!! i love doing stuff like this, it lets me feel out more for characters! also, sorry if anything is jumbled. i do not have a clear thought process! lol

alright, starting with hanzo first because i have a few that're pretty tame and small. as a nervous habit, i think he traces over certain parts of his hands like his knuckles and will tap on them to help stifle his anger. or he puts one hand in the other and squeezes it so it's not as obvious.

aside that, given his pyromancy, the man is a walking heater. he probably doesn't like cold tea, when or if he drinks it, so he will warm it up in his hands! and with his hands, he'll heat them enough to massage anything sore to help with that. i also think that despite things with kenshi, hanzo had to really fight with himself about takeda, always having an underlying fear due to what happened with his son. he cares a lot about him though :) for the most part he was awkward or felt that way, but despite his strict nature, all things seem to go well.

he takes a lot of pride in being well groomed and clean, and with that information, i also wonder if he kind of hates mess? finds being sweaty for too long a discomfort, hates to let blood dry on him, something he most likely has gotten used to, sure, but he still dislikes it.

for emotions, when he lets his anger control him, he thinks way more irrationally and is inherently more self-sacrificing. he doesn't really care what might happen to him because he's just going to come back again, so why should it matter? but if he actually has a cool head, hanzo's less likely to do something irrational.

kuai liang, i have a few more headcanons for! that being that he's so used to isolation and lack of touching (that isn't someone hitting him with their fists) that he kind of locks up and blue screens when he receives things like a hug, or a pat on the back. he can handle handshakes and a shoulder grab, since those happen quite often.

he's very careful, tactile. not one to blow up, but this leads to him bottling up emotions. he really has a habit of that, mainly because he one: doesn't want to be seen as weak and two: doesn't want anyone else to be burdened with his negativity, so to speak. he doesn't think it's obvious when it eats away at him, but frost, hanzo, johnny, they know when it is. but still kuai liang self-sabotages and is very avoidant about his feelings. he turns how he's feeling into a calm optimism, offering small smiles that are just facades. he's used to this, but also finds the new support, even after years, to still be so overwhelming. he appreciates it all, but it's a very slow process for kuai liang to properly open up.

out of everyone, i think johnny — since again, i see them as best friends — knows a lot of little things about kuai liang that kuai liang doesn't even admit or reveal aloud. he's just observant, notices when kuai liang makes little animal sculptures out of ice when he's bored. this totally doesn't prompt johnny to ask kuai liang to make him one of those fancy ice sculptures so he can use it at a fancy party.

for a few random ones, i think, despite the fact kuai liang doesn't drink or drinks very little, he'd be a great bartender. i like domestic au's, so bartender kuai liang is something i think about time to time. he'd also just look good in a suit. i also think he loves hamsters. there's just something about them he loves, and if he were a normal child with a normal life, he would've loved to own one growing up. or even currently as an old man! he just reads as a hamster guy.

i think that's all i had to wrack my brain for these LOL i hope you like my hcs :3

#mk #mortal kombat #🩻 txt #ask #kuai liang #hanzo hasashi #mk11 headcanons #another long post!!#and i will find any way to talk about kuai liang he is my little soggy wet cat who is so sad

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1mnobodywhoareyou · 3 months

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the misadventures of peony

aka the fic that shouldn't exist (tm) it's done! this cracky "little" "should have been hammered out in one night" fic is done! thank you to @narcissusbrokenmirror for the idea and granting me coparenting rights. i hope I did peony right by you! tagging @legolasghosty @innytoes and @jmrothwell with NO pressure whatsoever to read! Y'all were my ask box cheerleaders (thank you) so if you were waiting to see this, here ya go!

on ao3 (2584 words), Rated G. CW for pet snakes and all that entails!

“No, you guys. We don’t have enough room. We don’t have enough time. We can’t get a dog!” Luke looks between all four of his friends and roommates, each sporting their best puppy dog faces, and he sighs before waving them off and turning away, “And put those away. It’s not fair.”

“But Luke! We’ll take care of it! We promise!” Reggie pleads, clasping his hands in front of him to really sell his point.

“Dude, you forget that I TRIED THAT! For years. And literally never once actually followed through on it. We aren’t home enough.”

Alex decides it’s his turn to try, “But you were a kid! We’re all adults!”

He’s met with a chorus of “yeah”s from the group and Luke rolls his eyes.

“No.”

Everyone huffs in frustration as they resign themselves to his veto vote. They’d agreed that decisions like this needed to be unanimous but they don’t have to be happy about the results.

“But what if... what if it wasn't a dog?” Willie asked.

“What do you mean?”

"What about... a bunny?"

Luke rolls his eyes, "You know just because it lives in a cage doesn't mean it's less work than a dog, right? No.”

"So that's a no on a hamster too?" Reggie chimes in

“Yes Reg, that's a no on the hamster too.”

“Damn.”

“What about... a bird? They’re chill,” Willie tries again.

“We're not getting a fucking bird, Willie.”

“A lizard? Oh! One of those bearded dragons! Those are cool.”

Luke glares at them, “No dragons.”

Willie's face falls into a mock pout. "It doesn't even breathe fire!" they exclaim pitifully.

This time, Alex joins Luke in glaring at Willie. “Really?” he chastises them.

Willie offers an unabashed shrug in response.

"What's the lowest maintenance pet we can think of?" Reggie asks in an exaggerated whisper.

Julie huffs, "A goldfish."

“No water!” Luke cries.

“Why not?” Julie counters harshly, hands on her hips. They’re all a little bit frustrated with how stubborn Luke is being and it’s unfortunately starting to break through.

“We have way too many electronics for water to be a good idea. We do NOT need another Reggie fixing his amp in the rain situation.”

“Dude, it's contained in a TANK,” Willie explains.

“You are seriously no fun,” Reggie quips as he fiddles with his sleeves.

Willie's eyes widen as he comes up with a new idea.

Luke sighs before Willie even opens his mouth. "No."

WIllie's face falls into another pout. "You don't even know what I was going to say!"

“I don't need to. No.”

“You only need to feed snakes like once a week. And there's no water,” he pauses to consider his words before continuing. “Well, almost no water. And they're PRETTY!”

Luke’s face pinches in confusion, "What?!"

"A ssssssnake. We should get a snake."

"A snake? Seriously?"

"Yeah, people have them as pets all the time. And they're super chill and low maintenance. Look!" Willie pulls out their phone and starts typing. He stops and turns his phone around for Luke. “See?”

Julie crowds in behind Luke and coos over the picture on the top of the screen.

After giving Luke a moment to read, she plucks Willie's phone out of his hand. Julie walks around to Alex and Reggie showing it to them.

Reggie's jaw drops and a contemplative look crosses Alex's face.

"Willie has a point, you know," Alex says after a moment.

"How do you mean?"

"We could have a super cool, super fun pet. It's low maintenance enough that we could ask Carlos to feed it like once a week when we're away. We don't need to take it out for walks. Just... clean the tank every once in a while."

Luke groans, "Are you serious? Can we at least sleep on the idea of it before we start talking about it?"

Reggie grins, "So you're saying we can talk about it?"

Luke offers a resigned sigh, “Tomorrow.”

That earns Luke whooping cheers from everyone else. He can't help the small quirk of his lips at their excitement but quickly returns his face to its solemn expression before they can notice.

“Can we get back to rehearsal now?” he asks once the others have started to calm down.

“Sir! Yes, sir!” Reggie salutes. He’s met with an eye roll from Luke and laughter from the others but they quickly find their positions, picking back up where they’d left off before being derailed by the pet talk.

—

They’d agreed, some with more resistance than others, that this was for the best. Reggie and Julie didn’t need to know EVERYTHING and it was fine.

Except that when Willie got home with that week’s meal for Peony, he was surprised to find both Reggie and Julie hanging out with her.

Reggie notices Willie’s entrance and lights up. He eyes the package in Willie’s hands and nudges Julie. She turns and directs a smile Willie’s way.

“Whatchu got there?” she asks, pointing at the box.

“Uh, nothing?” They reply awkwardly as he tries to shield it from them.

“Uh huh, convincing,” Reggie says with a grin. He takes a few steps toward Willie, who moves backwards each time Reggie gets closer.

Julie looks between the guys and lets a mischievous grin take over her own face. “Is it something we can’t see?” she asks carefully.

“No?” Willie answers, cursing himself for apparently completely losing the ability to lie at some point in the last five minutes. He puts the box behind his back for good measure.

Julie joins Reggie’s mission to solve the mystery of the box. She swoops behind Willie to grab it from their hands.

Willie sighs in resignation as he watches her peel back the lid.

Julie squeals in excitement as she holds the box out to Reggie. “Look at it! It’s so cuuuute!”

Reggie joins her and lets out a squeal of his own.

They fawn over the mouse for a moment before turning to look up at Willie.

“How’d you convince Luke?” Julie asks.

“Uhhhhh, I didn’t?” he tries and Julie narrows her eyes at him but otherwise accepts their answer. Apparently she has better things to do than interrogate them. She returns her attention to the mouse.

Willie runs a hand down his face as he muffles a sigh. They know this is going to end poorly. He lets Reggie and Julie take their time cooing over the small animal while he tries to figure out how to get them back out of the house so he can feed Peony.

They send a quick text off to Alex and Luke who promptly respond with a plan. A few moments later, Reggie’s phone rings and he’s ushering Julie out of the house on whatever errand Luke had sent them on.

—

They somehow manage to make it a few more weeks without any questions from Reggie and Julie. The half-lie that Luke didn’t let the mice stay seemed to do most of the heavy lifting for them and casual deflection worked for the rest. Until it didn’t.

—

Julie and Reggie burst through the door with a very resistant Carlos in tow.

“I told you I don’t want to!” he exclaims as he struggles against them.

“Just come meet her!” Julie insists as she gives another tug of his wrist.

“She’s a sweetheart,” Reggie adds, “you’ll love her.”

“Just give her a chance!” Julie pleads. She turns her most powerful puppy dog eyes on Carlos. He rolls his eyes back at her. She sighs. Right, sibling immunity. She nudges Reggie who immediately takes the hint.

He widens his eyes with his most pathetic expression and it’s Carlos’ turn to sigh, “You can show her to me. But I’m staying back here.”

“Yes!” Julie cheers. She turns toward the room, confused by the sight she’s met with. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Willie says from their position in front of Peony’s enclosure. They’re flanked on either side by Alex and Luke, blocking the others from being able to see their pet snake.

Reggie gasps as panic overtakes him, “Is she… Is she okay?!”

“She’s fine,” Alex sighs.

“You weren’t supposed to be home yet,” Luke adds, directing a quick look over his shoulder.

“What’s… why are you blocking her?” Reggie asks. He walks toward them and the trio tighten up their formation.

Julie makes her way around Reggie and stands in front of the others. “Move, please,” she says, less of a question than it probably could be.

“No, I don’t think I will,” Alex replies casually, crossing his arms over his chest for good measure.

“I assure you, you do not want to see what’s behind us,” Willie adds, silently pleading with his eyes for her to drop it.

Luke directs his own puppy dog look her way and she rolls her eyes. “That doesn’t work on me, remember?”

Julie’s about to just push through them when Carlos speaks up from his spot by the door, “They don’t know how you feed it yet, do they?”

Everyone’s eyes widen at once and Carlos would laugh at the sight if he wasn’t halfway terrified. Julie and Reggie both round on him. Then look back at the guys. And then back at Carlos.

“Show me,” Julie insists, pushing between Luke and Willie. Her hand immediately covers her mouth in horror. Reggie’s at her side in an instant and his own jaw drops.

“You… I…” Reggie stammers. His eyes turn glassy.

Reggie turns to Julie and the tears in his eyes seemingly grant hers permission to fall.

“Oh, that poor little guy,” she cries feebly.

Alex, Luke, and Willie exchange concerned looks. Alex wraps Julie up into his arms while Luke does the same for Reggie. They hold the pair as they let out their cries of distress.

“I told you this would happen,” Willie huffs at them, though any annoyance in their voice is belied by the fond look on their face. They can’t really fault Alex and Luke for wanting to delay this moment for as long as possible.

Carlos coughs out a bitter laugh, “Why do you think I didn’t want to do this?”

Julie’s lip wobbles as she turns to him. She doesn’t leave Alex’s arms but he loosens them slightly so that she can move. “I… I just thought maybe you were just weirded out by snakes.”

Carlos rolls his eyes. “I told you I was never coming here again after you got it-”

“Her!” Reggie corrects forcefully through his own residual tears. He pushes himself away from Luke, wiping at his face.

Julie offers him her hand and he grabs it immediately.

Carlos corrects himself with another eyeroll, “Her. You thought I’d refuse to be here if I was just ‘weirded out’ by snakes?” Carlos accentuates the words with finger quotes.

“She’s harmless!” Julie cries.

“Well, mostly,” Reggie murmurs woefully. “If you’re not small and adorable.”

“I’m small and adorable!” Julie pouts.

Reggie squeezes her hand in silent comfort. “And squeaky,” he adds. “You’re not squeaky.”

Julie grins at that. “Not most of the time, anyway.”

“Anyway,” Carlos interjects from his position by the door. “I came, I saw, I’m leaving. You can find someone else to help with your weird pet. It won’t be me.”

The five of them watch him leave in stunned silence before Willie realizes that he’d probably not driven himself there. They run after him, stopping to grab the keys and slip on their shoes on the way.

Willie just manages to get his second shoe on when Carlos pops his head back in the door.

“Yes, I’ll drive you home,” Willie tells him preemptively.

“Thanks.” Carlos waves back at the others, “Bye! Good luck with…” he gestures toward Julie and Reggie, “that.”

He disappears out the door again and Willie follows him. “Try not to inflict any more trauma on them!” they call out as they shut the door.

“Is it… is she… done?” Julie asks with a small voice.

Luke hazards a look into Peony’s enclosure. “Well, as done as she can be for now,” he tells her.

“Do they have to be,” Reggie shudders and Luke wraps an arm around his shoulders, “alive?”

“We tried,” Alex explains slowly, “but unfortunately she’s a bit picky. We didn’t want you to have to see it.”

“So when Willie had that…” Julie trails off.

Luke turns to her with a sad look in his eyes, “Yeah, Peony snack.”

Julie takes a deep breath and leans her head back, holding back a fresh set of tears. She crawls into Alex’s sweater as best she can. He groans but doesn’t otherwise fight her. He even tries to give her some extra space. It’s an emergency situation and if anyone’s going to be granted the right to stretch it out, it’s Julie. He almost goes as far as offering to take it off for her but stops when she glares at him.

After another deep breath, Julie speaks up again, “Okay, Peony snack. I guess now we know.”

“And you can tell us when it’s time to feed her and we’ll just make sure we’re somewhere else,” Reggie adds. He shudders, “Anywhere else.”

“But now we have to figure out what to do if we can’t rely on Carlos,” Luke says. “She won’t last our full tour without food.”

“I’m sure there’s somebody who can help. And if not, I guess we’ll just have to hire someone,” Alex responds with a sigh. They don’t yet make enough money to spend on too much frivolity and none of them will be very excited to lose what little they do have to a pet sitter. Even if it’s only once a week.

“We have time,” Julie assures them. They still have a few months until their next tour kicks off.

“Guess Luke had a point,” Reggie pouts. He quickly raises a finger and sticks it in Luke’s face. “Not a word!”

Luke mimes zipping his mouth closed but can’t mask the beaming look on his face. It intensifies with Julie’s giggle.

“Who knew Carlos was scared of snakes?” she wonders aloud. Julie grins as she shakes her head in amusement, “You think you know a person.”

—

Luke sighs as he takes in their wall of tanks and enclosures, each housing a different pet that he’d somehow been talked into. “You say no to one dog,” he mutters under his breath. “How did this even happen?” he wonders aloud, slightly louder than before and Julie manages to hear him and laughs as she walks over to stand beside him.

“Peony loves her friends. And now she’s not lonely when we’re gone,” she tells him with a grin.

“She’s a freaking snake,” Luke mumbles. “How lonely can she get?”

Julie chuckles and pats him on the shoulder before handing him his guitar, “Well, think of it this way: now you have a built-in audience for rehearsals.”

Luke groans as he slips the guitar strap over his head, “Fine.”

“Could have just said yes to the dog!” Alex chimes in from his spot behind his drumkit and Luke glares at him. “But I do love Crush and Squirt, so thanks for that,” he grins at Luke and is met with another harsh glare.

“No more!” Luke insists as he settles in behind his microphone and nods his head toward Julie and Reggie to get themselves situated which they quickly do.

“Yes, Dad!” Reggie giggles as he nods toward Alex who counts them in.

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #luke patterson #reggie peters #julie molina #alex mercer #willie nolastname #carlos molina #cw snakes #fanfic #nobodys fics

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choccyhearts · 1 year

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Lost // Eddie Munson x Reader

Note: I've been needing some Eddie fluff lately and what's better than more hamster dad!Eddie <3

CW: Fluff, slight angst (you'll see), g/n!reader, possibly bad grammar (i am very sleep deprived rn so i'll edit this l8r)

This is a continuation of this post

It's been a few months since the newest member of the Munson family joined. Sir Hamilton is the sweetest little ball of energy and has made the trailer feel happy. Wayne has even held him a couple of times!

Today, though, you would return home to find a stomach-dropping discovery; an emtpy cage.

At first, you thought Sir Hamilton was asleep, buried under his bedding or hiding in his tunnel or little house (that Wayne built), but a closer inspection showed that the lid of his cage was lifted up.

Neither man was home or had been home all day so you knew Sir Ham wasn't just taken out and forgotten. Also, Eddie is a very attentive hamster dad, so he could never forget about his son.

You quickly rush around, crawling on the floor looking for the missing hamster. There was a small trail of bedding but it stopped in the middle of the room giving you no clues as to where poor Ham could be.

You lift up cushions, pick up random clutter and objects, move aside large furniture and still nothing.

"Heyyy, baby-", Eddie comes into the trailer full of energy.

"Shhh!!! Stay there!" Eddie stops in his tracks and raises his eyebrow.

"What is it?"

You get up off of the floor and walk over to Eddie, placing your hands on his chest.

"Okay, I need to you to stay calm." Eddie nods, his eyes wide and full of concern. "I just got back home, and we've got a little bit of a situation going on...Sir Hamilton-"

"Oh my God, is he dead!?", Eddie cries out.

"No, no, no, no!!!", you set your hand on his cheek. Eddie relaxes a bit into your touch. "Mm....not that I know of...I hope he isn't...he's actually just...lost."

"He's-!", you slap your hand over his mouth and put your finger over your mouth. Eddie removes your hand and whisper yells, "He's lost!?"

"Yes, but we should be quiet so we don't scare him any more than he might be."

Eddie pushes you aside and falls to his knees, face flat against the floor.

"Sir Hamilton! Sir Hamilton!", Eddie drags his body around the living room.

"I'll check the bathroom", you say leaving.

Eddie makes his way into the kitchen, eyes darting around crazily. He carefully stands and begins opening drawers and cabinets before a lightbulb goes off.

He pulls out a small plate and sets it on the counter before going to the fridge and pulling out various bags of vegetables.

You walk into the kitchen as he puts the vegetables on the plate.

"Oh my God! Eddie Munson eating vegetables??"

Eddie scoffs and rolls his eyes.

"This day really is gonna go down in history!"

"It's not for me, it's for Sir Hamilton. If we leave this out he might come out and eat it, and then we'll get him and put him back."

"That's a good idea, Eds", you walk up behind him and lean your head against him.

"How did he get out?"

"I don't know...the lid was pushed up so I guess he climbed on his wheel and...pop!"

"Mm."

Eddie stills his movements.

"Why would he want to leave?"

"Eds..."

"Do you think he's sad? Does he not like us?"

"Eddie...", you hug him close to you. "He's a hamster, he probably just wanted to escape to escape. I mean, I guess it doesn't matter how big it is, a cage is still a cage."

"But what did we do wrong?" Even though he said "we", you knew he meant himself.

"Nothing. He knows we love him very much. But sometimes pets don't understand why they're kept inside of homes. They don't know that we're here to protect them."

"Do you think he'll come back?"

"Of course, he probably hasn't gone far. He's tiny."

Eddie nods and puts the vegetables away. He turns back to you and you give him a strong hug. He hugs back, burying his face in your hair. You stroke his hair and coo into his ear to calm him down.

This was a little bit bigger than just Sir Hamilton running away. This was Eddie being scared that everyone he loves will leave him. It was something you knew Eddie feared and is still something you spend everyday proving that you'll never bring that fear to life.

"He'll come back, Eddie. I promise."

You both walk to the living room and set the plate on the floor. Eddie can't even stay in the living room and decides to go into his/your shared room.

He sighs shakily and takes off his jacket, tossing it on to the bed. He kicks off his shoes and sits down on the bed and lies back.

"Sir Ham...you're a pain in my ass...a cute, adorable, fuzzy pain in my ass...got me worried...got my baby worried...if Wayne gets home he's gonna be worried...please come out." He drags his hands across his face dramatically. "I'll give you all the carrots you want, I'll build you a new cage, I'll take you outside in your little ball...maybe even take you for a ride in the van."

As he lay there, he swears he hears a tiny squeak. He looks around him but sees nothing.

"I'll write you into another campaign. I'll get you a new tube. I'll even make you a whole little city of tubes in the living room."

Another tiny squeak and Eddie sits up. He lifts up his jacket but still no hamster.

"Come on, little guy, you're robbing me blind! What do you want?"

Another squeak and this time a weird...scraping sound?

Eddie looks on the floor but no Sir Ham.

"I hear you buddy, where are you?" Eddie gets on the floor and slowly moves around, cursing himself for not keeping the room cleaner.

Twaaang!!

Eddie sits straight up, instantly recognizing that sound. And he's correct.

Clinging with all his might is Sir Hamilton climbing the strings of Eddie's sweetheart.

"What the hell!?" Eddie jumps up and quickly cups one of his hands under Sir Ham's body as his other one pushes him off the guitar. Sir Hamilton allows himself to sit in Eddie's hands, sniffing around as if he has no awareness of the chaos he's caused.

"What are you doing in here, bud? You got us all worried sick!", Eddie pets Sir Ham's ears. Eddie carries him out into the living room to you. "Baby! Look who I found!"

You sit up excitedly, "Sir Hamilton!?"

Your eyes widen as you look at Eddie's hands.

"Sneaky dude was climbing up my guitar. Have no clue how he managed that."

You take the hamster from Eddie and hug him to your chest.

"Ohhhh, Sir Hammy! I was so worried! Don't ever do that again!" You give him tiny kisses while walking towards his cage.

You place him inside and Eddie scrapes the vegetables from earlier into his food dish. You both close the lid and set a heavy book on top.

"Climbing on your guitar?", you question.

"Baby, I couldn't even believe it! It was the most metal thing I've ever seen!"

You giggle and kiss Eddie's cheek, "He is definitely your son."

"Ughhh, and now I owe him so many things."

"Let's just let him calm down for the night. We need to as well, there has been too much excitement."

Eddie nods in agreement, pulling you into his lap as you both watch Sir Hamilton nibble his lettuce.

#eddie munson #eddie stranger things #st4 #stranger things #eddie munson x reader

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fbwzoo · 3 days

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Okay so!! Ed first bc I have the biggest plans for him, since he's the newest and still needs more improvements. Unfortunately, his are also a bit longer term plans bc due to cost & logistics.

A brief pause to recommend Reptiles & Research's beardie care sheet as the most up to date info if you're looking!

The main thing is more space, for which I have a shorter term plan that I'm 90% sure we can do by end of year to give him at least little more room. Dubia website, which is where his viv is from, has released a 2x2x2 add-on enclosure that can be connected to a 4x2x2. It's around $200, which is fairly workable price-wise, and I'm pretty sure we should be able to make that work space-wise in the animal room!

But, a potential next step up would be the extension kit that links two 4x2x2 vivs together. We have the same viv for Clover hedgie, so in theory, could give both of those to Ed once we lose Clover. But that's hopefully gonna be a while yet, as she's around 4 years, but still healthy and grumpy and plotting Jack's torture for giving her baths & health checks every couple weeks.

However, I'm not sure we can make 8 feet long fit in the animal room, especially not without blocking off a door or some storage space. The back wall is all shelving, and the other 3 walls each have a door on them. I'm gonna measure in the room this week sometime to see what we have to work with. Frankly, I'm fine with blocking off the hallway door or removing the shelving on the wall in favor of animal enclosures, but I may be outvoted.

The longest term plan I have in mind for his space is getting a 6x2x4 viv from Animal Plastics! The snake, hamster, and tenrec vivs are all AP, and I love how sturdy they are. I've had them for at least 6 years & they've been moved once, and they're still great & easy to take apart & put back together. That would also give a lot more height for climbing room, which would be great. It's around $800 for the viv, plus shipping, so that'll take a while to get the money for though.

In the meantime, other smaller plans.... I want to get him switched to loose substrate, which is better for his joints and will let him dig. I'm looking at likely getting the Jurassic Australian sand substrate for that. I think I may start with a dig box in the next few weeks to see what he thinks! I'm out of money this month, so it has to wait on that anyway.

Once I have my tool & machine area cleaned back up, I'm also wanting to work on making some climber stuff for him, but I'm not in a huge rush on that bc he already has a good set up with his branches and such.

Oh, and I've also started looking at expanding his lighting, but major changes on that will likely wait for his forever viv tbh. I'm a bit intimidated by how complicated advanced lighting set ups are still, and I want to make sure I don't overheat his cage or the room. Though I do want to add another LED bar, at least, preferably a Jungle Dawn. Alas, money (they're over $100).

#fbw rambles #my pets #ed beardie #animal improvements #i was down a bit of a hole yesterday reading the care sheet and looking up more on metal halides #most of my stuff seems to be fairly on point at least #metal halide and more space and loose substrate are the main things we're still missing #and that first one especially is a more advanced keeper thing anyway #so I'm mostly satisfied

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elflock-magician · 10 months

Note

if you know sdra2: maybe a fic of nico and ace as the otonokoji twins, like a roleswap au… nico as kanade and ace as hibiki

if you don’t: nico x david maybe!!

A/N - I've been putting off learning more abt Sdra2 for. ever. When I get to learning more abt it I'll def write the Ace-Nico Otonokoji twins thingy. But for now: here's a David & Nico interaction. Not romantic tho-

Summary - David often says that 'anything that can speak will betray and hurt you'. Nico overhears this and attempts to ease David’s hatred by introducing him to a few of their animals.

“This is stupid.” David stated bluntly as he and Nico sat on the ground. After the second trial, the third floor was revealed to have a zoo of sorts. But not in the traditional sense. It had more domestic animals such as cats, dogs, and even hamsters, as well as being a more indoor environment. It basically looked like a pet store, except it had more animal diversity. And you could touch the animals, though at your own risk, of course. Nico was obviously excited about this, and had decided to offer some… ‘help’ of sorts to David with the animals.

Nico couldn’t say that they liked David all that much. Or at least they shouldn't. Simply because of how David had taken advantage of how afraid they were to be more open about themselves. But they understood David to an extent. David had stated himself that he believed anything that could talk would eventually betray you. But Nico figured that didn’t include animals. So Nico made a simple offer. Meet them at the zoo area, and David would be freed from Veronika's nonstop questioning.

“W-What do you mean stupid?” Nico murmured in response.

“You must be an idiot.” David grumbled, “We’re sitting on the ground in some sort of PetSmart. The hell did you even want to meet me here for?” David questioned as he leaned back a bit and crossed his legs, once again considering they were sitting on the floor.

Nico stood up and walked over to a certain cage in the room.

“You said s-something that made me think…” Nico barely got the sentence out before David was talking over them again.

“Start with that next time.” He said coldly. Nico rolled their eyes but David’s words didn’t exactly get under their skin too much. David seemed to be willing to bully anyone, so they didn’t take it all too personally.

“You said… ‘Anything that can speak will eventually betray you’, a-and, animals can’t speak.” Nico stated simply as they reached into a cage, and took out a cat. “So what? You came here to give me an emotional support animal? You really must be an idiot, Nico! Absolutely stupid–”

David was cut off as Nico put the cat down into David’s lap. Nico continued speaking,

“And I figured that you would come here sooner or later and I wasn’t sure if I should trust you to not hurt the animals. So I wanted to at least see how you act around them…” They murmured. David’s eyes were slightly wide as he kept silent, staring down at the fuzzy creature in his lap. The cat looked grumpy but overall indifferent to David and Nico. “Tch… This little shit.” David muttered and couldn’t help but slightly smile down at the cat. “I’ll do a lot of things but hurting a cat like this isn’t one of them.” He said. "And you thought I would? Wow. You must have low standards for me, Nico." David said sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

“Huh…? W-Well... then where is the d-difference for you? That you wouldn't hurt a cat but you would hurt a r-real person?” Nico asked and tilted their head.

“And I thought you would understand. Humanity is the most bullshit, selfish, absolute scumbag species to ever exist. We’re all selfish, deep down. Selfish creatures who don’t care who they hurt, as long as they get what they want. That’s the true nature of humans. I’d expect someone like you to understand that.” David explained, shutting his eyes as he pet the cat, the cat once again seeming indifferent. “Animals embrace their truth, whatever it may be. They cannot lie. Unlike you and I.” David added.

“What do you m-mean by ‘you and I’? Y-You and I are n-nothing alike…” Nico replied, as if trying to convince themself as well.

“But we are.” David replied swiftly. “Ace treats you like shit, Hu practically treats you like a child, and the first person who tried to reach out to you, Xander, turned out to be a remorseless murderer, who is probably the most decomposed motherfucker right now.” He explained. “Humans are the true evil of this world. There’s no fighting it. Might as well appeal to it.” David added. “B-But… You’re wrong.” Nico replied.

“I’m wrong?” David repeated and rolled his eyes. “Everyone is born with the ability to lie. That's just the truth. It's our default settings." David replied. "Yeah. That's... common knowledge to anyone over ten years old, David. Everyone can lie." Nico replied. "Oooh, sassy, are you?" David murmured and rolled his eyes. "Go on, prove what you said. How I'm wrong.” He insisted. Nico fell silent. David stared at Nico, expecting something. All while petting the cat like a supervillain. “People don’t care about you for who you are. Only what you do for them.” David added. “Maybe for you… But not for us. Hu cares about me because she likes me. I don’t know who convinced you that life is war, but it doesn’t matter. Don’t make it our problem.” Nico stated. David couldn’t help but laugh.

“You don’t get it.” He said sourly. “No one convinced me this. This is just what the world has shown me. No one is worth trust. That’s just humanity. It doesn’t matter how badly you try and pretend it’s not true. Even who we thought was the most morally sound man, Xander Mathews… That stupid redhead just proved our point. What Xander did…” David broke into a chuckle. “Was humanity’s true nature.” He said at last, glaring up at Nico.

“...W-What do you mean?” Nico questioned. “Let me make this more personal…” David began, as he continued to pet the cat. The last thing he needed was a swivel chair and he’d look exactly like a Disney villain. “What you did to Ace was humanity’s true nature.” He said. Nico slightly flinched at that. “Deep down, we’re all selfish creatures. Selfish creatures that cannot accept the truth. We can pretend we’re not to make us feel better. To run from the truth. But there’s only one truth.” David explained simply. That’s why David had acted the way he did. He believed what he said whole-heartedly. He thought humanity was selfish, vile, and downright awful. So he appealed to that belief, by simply becoming part of it. And that's why he crafted his 'good boy' persona. Because as he saw it, humanity didn’t want to face the truth. That they were all ‘selfish’ or whatever. So he would at least profit off of it. So he lied, he acted, and pretended to be some great guy. But unfortunately, that wasn’t true. “That…. That’s not true. That doesn’t make any sense.” Nico stuttered out, their voice slightly trembling. “That’s because you’re just like the rest of us, Nico. Humans love to dodge the truth.” David said before laughing. “Tell me, what do you think?” He asked. “Huh?” Nico murmured in response. “What do you think about your true nature? You’re so… shy. No no… not shy…” His voice trailed off for a moment. “Cowardly.” He said firmly, in an almost venomous tone.

“I think you’re wrong. P-People aren’t like that… “ Nico insisted. "I want to care about people. I want to be a g-good person… But, even then… people are so… complicated." Nico tried to explain. David could only laugh. “Then I guess we aren’t so different.” He stated. "But we don’t g-get to understand everything. That’s part of life.” They added sadly. David rolled his eyes. "Well I've had enough of this discussion." He said, seeking to change the subject. "What's this dumb fucks name?" David murmured and held the cat up a bit. "Or do you not know?" He added. "T-That's..." Nico sighed. "MonoTV Junior. I've already spent a lot of time here, so I know all of the names of the animals." Nico explained. "Of course you do." David said and chuckled. "Well, I'm not calling this guy 'MonoTV Junior.' Hell no. He looks more like a..." David paused. Before smiling. "A Steve." He stated and pet the cat a bit. "Steve? You want to name him... Steve? Even though he already has a name?" Nico muttered at that. "Yep." David replied nonchalantly. He then sighed after saying that. "This is so fucking stupid. Look what you have me doing, Nico. Naming cats... stupid." David muttered and hung his head. Though he continued to hold the cat in his lap. David fell silent. Nico didn't say anything either. Nico, despite their lack of social skills, sensed the situation a bit. Similar to an emotional support animal, Nico went and sat down next to David. The two sat in silence. A/N - This wasn't really written to be romantic- it's more two characters who want to love each other, but both have their own internal issues preventing it. They're both very complex people who aren't suited for a romantic relationship right now, despite how they crave it. Maybe if David gets a 7 season redemption arc and Nico goes to therapy and resolves their stuff then they'll be alright for a relationship but right now... no.

#danganronpa despair time #drdt #danganronpa #danganronpa despair time fanfiction #david chiem #nico hakobyan

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crack-a-lackin-max · 11 months

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Little Angel

summery :

killer and angel are starting to hit if off. they go to the grocery story and chat.

-chapter 2/?

-words: 1832

--ao3 link <3

Killer put down his coffee and looked down at them as they finished up eating their ham an cheese roll up. He had to figure out what to do with them.

“So what do you wanna do now angel? I wouldn’t feel right just putting you back by that bench. So I was thinking, how ‘bouts you come home with me? I got plenty of room, not that you take up much anyway heh. What do you think little’en?”

The bitty doesn’t want to go back to the bench, it gets cold at night and the grass is wet. There are a lot of creatures bigger than them that could get them.

But they also just dont wanna go home with this guy, what if their owner comes back and they're not there? Well that would just be awful.

They swallow the bite they had in their mouth and answer Killer.

“Thank you for the offer K, but I better go back to where I was..”

“How come? You enjoy sitting in the wet grass that much shortstack?”

They shake their head no, “i just wanna be there when my owner comes back for me”

This poor thing, they still think that their past owner is coming back for them. they got left on a bench over two days ago, their human probably isn’t coming back for them. ..

“Tell you what sunshine, how bout we go round to the local shops and leave notes with them with my contact info and we’ll make sure the note we left is still there. Would you come back home with me then angel?”

They fiddle with their hands as they think it over, looking uncertain about this. Killer is a stranger after all but he’s been very kind to them and they don't want to spend another night outside.

“Well,, when he does come back then he’ll find the note. Or if the note is gone he can ask the shops next door. I guess,, it would be ok for me to come back with you then. I didn’t really want to spend another night under that bench honestly”

He’s relieved that they decided to go with him.

“Sounds good small fry. You wanna head back now or is there anything you need to go pick up that you left behind?”

“Um no not really, i don't really have,, anything else”

Oh yeah, that’s right. They just really had the clothes on their back and that’s it. Well, we should fix that sooner than later.

“Well tell you what angel, how bout we stop at the store to pick up a few things before we head back?”

“Sure thing, that's no problem”

He put his hand down on the table and had Angel climb up onto his hand. They climb up on and sit down, holding on to his thumb for support.

“Ready K” they say as they look up at him, waiting.

“Alrighty, up we go then” he brought his hand up closer to his chest so they feel more stable while he walks.

He starts to head out of the shop, waving bye to the kid behind the counter as he leaves the shop.

They walked down the street, the clouds had cleared up and it was looking like it was going to be a clear day.

“So tell me Angel, what do you like to do? Like what hobbies do you have?”

“What do I like to do? Well sometimes i can see the tv from where my cage is, that’s nice. Or sometimes i can see a cat out the window, they look so fluffy i wish i could pet them. Oh! Or one time my owner got me a fresh piece of fabric for my encloser, it was nice. It was back when he first got me.”

Killer grew a little sad as he heard what they said, it sounds like they haven’t had the best life so far. Wait, cage??

“Hold up doll, cage? He kept you in a cage?” he says, a bit concerned.

“Yeah? Pets are kept in cages” they say like it’s just the most normal thing ever.

“But you're like a tiny person not a hamster?”

They just shrug at that, not knowing what to say.

"well I don't have a cage at my house, and I'm not buying one. So you just have to roam around the house i guess” Killer tries to say casually, sensing that they felt awkward about this.

“That’s ok, just ,, try not to step on me please”

“Oh of course not, i wouldn’t do that angel, course not”

Thye walk in silence for a bit till they get to the store, the cool air conditioning washing over them as they walk through the breezeway.

“Ok i need to pick up some groceries and a few other little things. If you see something you want let me know angel.” killer said as he got a cart. “Do you want me to keep carrying you or do you wanna ride in the basket of the cart?”

They thought about it for a moment, they don't wanna be dropped or josiled as he picks up things while he shops so the cart would probably be a better option.

“Cart please?”

“Sure thing pal”

He puts them down into the cart basket and starts rolling it through the store. Picking up items that he’s been meaning to pick up when he got to the store. Some food stuff and some paper plates and other such.

He watched them eye the sweet roll case, they wanted one he could tell maybe they were just too shy to ask for one.

“I was thinking about getting a sweet roll for later, but I never seem to finish one when I get them. If I got one would you eat it with me small fry?”

“Yeah! I could definitely help you with that, i'm very good at eating sweet rolls!”

He chuckles a little at their response, “well how bout you pick the flavor out then, ya little sweet roll expert”

They looked into the sweets case with a very determined look, it was clear they took this task very seriously.

“The strawberry one! The one second to the left, it looks the freshest and the frosting is extra pretty”

He chuckles at them, “you're so right, that looks like the perfect one. Good job Angel”

He takes the little tongs that were there for picking up the sweets and gets that one out and puts it into a little box, setting the box in their cart.

The bitty beams a little at the praise, glad that killer approves of their choice.

They move on with their shopping, finishing up with the food section and moving onto clothes. Killer rolls into the bitty clothes aisle.

“Ok short stack, you said you didn’t have any extra clothes so we’re going to pick you up some extra sets”

“O-oh you don't have to do that, I don't need those, it's ok” they try to protest, not wanting Killer to spend too much money on them.

“Oh relax, even if you only stay with me for a bit you should still have some extra sets of clothes. Now what kinda of host would I be if I didn't make sure you were comfy hm? A bad host is what. now , I’m buying you a few sets of clothes, do you want to pick them out?”

“Well,,,ok then. If you're really ok with spending money on me for that, then yea i would like some clean clothes actually.

He nods as he picks them up so they can get a better look at the clothes in their size. There were rows and rows of various sizes of bitty clothes, all in different styles and colors.

They pick out a couple pairs of cargo pants, two plain tshirts, a space themed hoodie. And then of course a pack of socks and boxers.

Killer looks at the couple of outfits they had picked out, “don’t you wanna pick out a few more sets of clothes?”

“No, this is fine. Thank you, this is more than enough”

“Ok, what about pj’s then?”

“Pj’s?” they ask with a tilt of their head.

“Yeah you know, pj’s. Like soft sleep clothes?”

“Oh. i’ve never had those before.”

“Never? Huh, well how bout you pick out a pair or two”

They shake their head, “yeah never. I guess I could pick out a pair? i don't think i need them though”

They look at the pj’s available and pick out a plain soft black tshirt and some dark blue soft pants.

“Are these ok K?”

Killer nods, “yeah those look fine, as long as you think you’ll be comfy in them then they’ll do”

They get added to the cart with the rest of the clothes.

“Ok, we got the food, paper goods, and clothes for you. I think that’s everything, anything else you can think of Angel?”

They shake their head, “no, i'm good”

They head to the check out, scan the items and pay before heading out.

Killer moves them back to his shoulder as he carries the bags. He walks out of the shop and sits down on the bench.

The bitty looks around a bit confused, “um, shouldn’t we head back to your house? Is everything ok?”

“Ok we’re heading back to the house, I don't wanna walk all the way back and the oats bus will be here in the next ten anyway”

“Ah ok. What’s an oats bus?”

“Oh it’s a bus for geezers like me, and just people without cars. It makes its rounds across town a few times a day”

They nod along, that makes sense.

They think for a second, mr. K doesn’t look old but then again he’s a skeleton. Maybe they dont look old like humans do? The kid at the coffee shop called him old man and the store gave him a senior discount.

“Um, sorry if it’s rude, but how old are you?”

He chuckles a little at that goodnaturedly, “im round 63 last i checked”

“Wow that old. Sorry! I didn’t mean that in a rude way, that just seems really old to me”

“You're good, I'm not offended” he laughs along, “and how old are you?”

“I’m 4”

“..only 4? Are you full grown for a bitty? “

“I think so? I don’t know a lot about how bittys grow, sorry. But I think I remember someone saying once that we have an accelerated growth rate?”

Killer nods along thinking, “well that fits, you act like an adult altho an inexperienced one”

They just kinda shrug in response.

They sit on the bench waiting for the bus. It’s a good thing the sky cleared up so they didn’t have to wait in the rain.

They share a sweet roll and they wait, killer breaking off pieces and handing them to Angel.

#maxs writing #killer!sans #bitty reader #fanfic #undertale fanfic #undertale writing #bittys

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patheticlittlemen · 1 year

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WORK WIFE

[Edward Nashton x Male Reader]

Chapter 6- Do They Deserve a Chance?

Words: 1692

Warnings: None

You’re barely awake when you hear your phone vibrate. The light of your phone is bright and you squint, reading the notification.

Edward: Do you want to go to the pet store with me?

You rub your eyes and yawn, trying to remember how to put words together. Normally you prefer to sleep in on the weekends but it seems like that won’t be the case today. Amaia had invited you to lunch with her, Olivia, Jocelyn, and Estelle but you’d take any chance to hang out with Edward.

Y/N: I’m going to lunch with some people but we can go after

Edward: That works.

You and Edward decide that he will pick you up from the restaurant and go to the pet store from there.

Y/N: Why do you want to go btw?

Edward: I need to look at cages.

Not bothering to ask any more questions, you get up and take a shower. The warm water helps you wake up and you get dressed, making a cup of coffee and sitting down to watch TV until Olivia picks you up.

Eventually, Olivia arrives and brings you to the restaurant where the other girls are already there. The normal anxiety fills you but you try to suppress it. It’s the same as when you went out with them that one Friday, but this time you don’t have alcohol to calm your nerves. Praying that you’ll be able to relax eventually, you coach yourself through your reactions and participation in the conversation.

Luckily you are able to calm yourself and before you know it, Edward sends you a text saying he was there. You had mentioned hanging out with Edward after lunch, and of course, Olivia teased you for it. The girls all agreed with Olivia, insisting that Edward definitely had feelings for you. You just laughed nervously when they said that, quickly changing the subject.

Saying goodbye to everyone, you step outside and see Edward parked by the door. He waves to you and you get in his car, beginning the usual “how are you” conversation.

Edward still doesn’t address the conversation from Monday, but you don’t mind. You’re not sure what you would even say if he did. Instead, you settle into talking about work with him, discussing what he’s been doing and complaining about your shitty boss. Finally, you reach the pet store and you’re a bit excited. It had been a while since you had been in one and you want to see the critters they have. You quickly walk inside, Edward following. The first thing you do is make a beeline to where the animals are, looking at all the hamsters.

“I feel so bad for all the animals locked up in here. Bred to live in cages, to sit pretty until they get adopted or die. They never had a chance.” You say sadly, looking at the ferrets.

“Do they deserve a chance?” Edward asks quietly.

“Of course they do.” You turn to him, confused. “Everyone deserves a chance. You, me, every living thing on this earth deserves it. Whether or not they get a chance isn’t up to us, but I think everyone should.”

Edward looks a little sad at that. You can see tears forming in his eyes but he coughs and abruptly walks away before you can say anything further. You’re a bit concerned but brush it off and make your way to the cat room.

What feels like a few minutes but was probably closer to half an hour later, you hear footsteps behind you.

“You ready to-“ Edward is cut off when he sees you kneeling on the floor, sobbing.

“Wh- are you okay? Y/N?” Edward squats down and touches your shoulder.

“They are just so so perfect. They are babies and did nothing wrong. They deserve good homes and good food and good people…I just want them to be happy.” You blubber, feeling overwhelmed. Edward looks stunned, opening his mouth to say something but changes his mind. Instead, he sits next to you on the floor and you bury your head into his shoulder, still crying. You sit like that for a minute before managing to stop your sobs and standing up. You offer a hand to Edward, who accepts it and you pull him up.

“Are you alright?” He says, gently placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah, sorry about that. My cat died a couple months ago so I’m a bit sensitive about animals. I still have all his old stuff in the back of my closet.” You say, wiping the tears from your face.

“I’m so sorry Y/N,” Edwards says and you nod.

“Thank you. Are you ready to go?” You ask.

“Yeah, if you are,” Edward says and you nod, leading the way to the exit and walking to Edward’s car.

Edward’s phone connects to the radio and he starts talking excitedly about the first song that plays, explaining the meaning and the history of the band. You’re genuinely interested in what he’s saying, listening attentively and reacting in real-time, unlike many other conversations with other people. After Edward’s done explaining, you sit in silence for a little bit, fidgeting with your hands in your lap. You start to yawn and bring one hand up to cover your mouth, conveniently right as Edward was reaching for it. Instead, his hand falls on your thigh and when you look over at him, he looks embarrassed. For a second it seems like he is going to pull it away but commits to the action and ever so slightly tightens his grasp.

“Oh, I forgot to ask if you want me to drop you off.” Edward says after a while, breaking the silence.

“I mean we can hang out longer if you want.” You say, hoping he does.

“Sure, we can watch a movie at my apartment or something.”

“Sounds good.”

Eventually, you pull into his apartment complex and make your way up to his apartment, glad that the second time you’re here you’re not incredibly intoxicated. Edward unlocks the door and leads you in, noticing that it’s a bit messier than last time.

“Oh, sorry. I forgot to clean up.” Edward winces a bit and you just shake your head.

“Nah, I totally get it. I need to clean too.” Edward seems a bit comforted at the statement and you take a seat on the couch. It takes both of you a minute to decide what movie to watch, but eventually settle on an old sci-fi movie.

“Do you always keep it this cold, Edward?” You ask after a few minutes, wrapping the blanket around yourself.

“Oh, I forgot to pay my heating bill. It has been quite cold, I’m sorry.”

“I’m more concerned about you, aren’t you cold?”

“A little. It’s fine though.” Edward shrugs. You pull the blanket off one shoulder and hold an arm out, offering some to Edward. He starts to say no when you raise your eyebrows, silently insisting. He sighs and scoots closer to you, letting you lay the blanket across his shoulders.

“Thanks, Y/N.” He says, pulling it further around him. You smile at him and turn back to the TV.

A little bit of time passes and you decide to lay your head on Edward’s shoulder. Despite never having done it before, the movement feels so natural. Edward tenses a little at the sudden contact but doesn’t react otherwise. After a few seconds, his hand slowly reaches over to grab yours. His movement is hesitant so you take action and slide your hand into his.

The rest of the movie continues and you’re fighting sleep most of the time. Edward is so warm and you could feel your eyes fluttering shut, but before you actually fall asleep Edward speaks.

“That was a good movie.” He comments. You didn’t even realize that the movie ended but raise your head up, trying to blink away the sleepiness.

“Yeah, I liked it.” You turn to Edward and smile, seeing his face flush a little bit. You squeeze his hand once before letting go and stretching your arms out. The blanket slips off as you do and the cold air immediately hits, causing goosebumps. Quickly pulling the blanket back around your self, you cuddle up next to Edward.

“Dude, it’s so cold. How do you handle this?”

“I just wear a lot of layers.” He says, slowly reaching his arm around your shoulder. You try and gather as much of his warmth as possible before your eyelids become heavy again.

“Ugh, I should probably leave soon. I’m about to fall asleep.” You say, pulling away from Edward and starting to take off the blanket before he stops you.

“Stay here, I’ll get you a jacket.” He stands up and wraps the blanket around you, disappearing into his room and coming back with a black hoodie. You gladly put it on and are immediately surrounded by the smell of Edward’s cologne. Finally dragging yourself off the couch and putting your shoes on, Edward is waiting at the door.

You make your way outside and in Edward’s car, where it is a bit cold but not nearly as much as it was in his apartment. As he pulls out of his parking lot, you reach your hand out and he gladly takes it. The action has become so familiar but the butterflies in your stomach never seem to disappear.

“Here, let me-” When Edward pulls up to the front of your apartment complex, you start to take off his sweatshirt but he stops you.

“That’s alright, you keep it.”

“Oh, okay.” You say, surprised. Unbuckling your seatbelt and opening the door, you smile and wave to Edward before turning and going into your apartment.

Today was so much better than you could have expected, every day with Edward feels more unreal. You’re too nervous to really make a move, for no real reason, as Edward has been reciprocating all of your actions. Something still holds you back, but you hope you will get the chance to at least say something soon.

#edward nashton #the riddler #edward nashton x reader #the riddler x reader #ftm reader #autistic reader

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allofasudden00 · 2 years

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I’ve gotten a weird push of inspiration based on my previous post about the Encanto pets that I decided to write a short thing about Mirabel’s hamster.

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Antonio perks up at the sound of a knock on his bedroom door. He gets up and rushes over to open it. As he opens the door Mirabel gives him a small smile, her eyes fill with worry. Antonio returns the smile.

“Hola Mira! What’s wrong?” He questions with a tilt to his head. He moves out of the way, allowing Mirabel to walk into his room. She walks in quickly and he shuts the door behind her.

“Hey Tonito, can I ask you for a favor?” Mirabel asks tentatively. Her smiles leave and her expression becomes a slight pout. Antonio walks over and grabs her hand, his own face scrunching up in worry.

“Sure, what’s wrong?”

“Sir Wobbles has been acting really strange lately, can you talk to him to see what is wrong? I’m worried.” Her voice wavers as she blinks away her worried tears. Antonio pats her hand gently and nods. He quickly leads her out of the room and toward hers. When they enter, Antonio’s eyes land onto the cage holding the hamster of the the current topic. Mirabel sits down on her bed and bites her lip anxiously. Antonio walks over and puts his face close to the cage. Sir Wobbles stares up at him.

“Hi Sir Wobbles, Mirabel says you’ve been acting strange? Are you okay?” Antonio asks cheerfully. The hamster stares with an intensity that the five-year-old wasn’t expecting. Sir Wobbles walks closer to the side of the cage Antonio is on.

“Child, my manners the last few weeks have been out of necessity.” The hamster squeaks at him. His tiny paws grab the bars of the cage. “I long to escape this plighted world, but each of my endeavors have been foiled by the cruel omnipotent Goddess you proclaim as Mirabel.” Antonio’s mouth falls open slightly and he slowly looks at Mirabel. She frowns and her brow furrows in worry.

“What did he say?!”

“Nothing! He is still telling me stuff!” Antonio deflects, he turns back to the hamster with a fake smile on his face. “Wobbles what do you mean by that?”

“Child you understand the meaning of my words, don’t for a second think otherwise.” Sir Wobbles snaps at him. “I have heard tales of my predecessors and their downfalls. I shall not meet my end the same way. Mr. Chubs eaten by a snake, Lola perished because she gorged herself due to our master’s over feeding, and Sir Wobbles the first went missing and never returned.” The hamster turns his back and walks further into the cage. “I choose to leave this mortal coil by my own hand, rather than fall victim to the angel of death herself.”

“Antonio? Did he tell you what is wrong?” Mirabel asks, making Antonio jump slightly. He whips around with a nervous smile on his face. He gulps at her very worried expression.

“He... he said that he feels...” Antonio’s mind races as he fidgets with his hands. “He said that he feels alone and that he wishes you would spend more time with him and never take your eyes off him!” Antonio lies, shutting his eyes and wincing.

“Child! You lie! Tell her the truth! The grim reaper needs to bare witness to her actions! None of my kind shall ever fall by her hand! I-”

“He says he loves you and just wants to spend more time cuddling with you!” Antonio increases the volume of his voice to drown out the squeaking of the hamster. Mirabel smiles and her eyes fill with tears of relief.

“Really?” Mirabel asks, Antonio reluctantly nods his head. Mirabel sighs and hugs her primo. “Thank you so much Tonito!” She lets go and walks over to the cage. “Sorry I’ve been really busy little guy, I’ll never let you out of my sight ever again!” She opens the cage and gently picks up the flailing hamster.

“Unhand me you heathen! Child! You must help me! Tell her to set me free or end my eternal suffering! Tell her! TELL HER NOW!”

Antonio quickly walks out of the room and shuts the door behind him. He rushes to his room and locks the door. That was enough for today. Maybe Mirabel should get another pet. The hamster has some problems.

#suddendrabbles #Mirabel tries but Hamsters never die naturally #Antonio is scarred for life now #Sir Wobbles never left Mirabel's sight #She even brings him to the dinner table #The hamster glares at Antonio the entire time

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lollytea · 2 years

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Mattholomule has the funniest character development in the show. All that happened was he went from being mean and annoying to nice and annoying.

#(affectionate)#love how hes still an obnoxious loudmouth little gremlin #hes just not a dick about it anymore #matt as a character is just so....#i see him and i think he should be put in a hamster cage

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starshipsofstarlord · 3 years

Text

A Stark Contrast | Bucky Barnes

Summary; living in the shadow of Tony, your brother, always was the way, and you accepted it. That was until he expected you to sign the accords, that was one thing that you couldn’t do.

Warnings; Angst, mentions of death, mentions of being controlled, funeral, mourning, anger

The form, bound in a weighty book laid on the table, making the room fill with utmost tension. Tony was hellbent on signing the thing, and handing away any freedom that all of you had.

No matter how long you had supported him, this was not one subject that you could agree with him on. Whilst you understood his perspective, it would only end up with you in a hamster wheel, running around and following the orders of executives.

They wanted less destruction. To put boundaries around their country’s heroes, and limit them to the lengths they could go to in order to save lives.

That was also wrong, the entire ordeal had you bent backwards with a conflict of interests. On one hand, it would be ordinary to sign for such a cause, whether you trusted their backgrounds or not, simply because your elder sibling had.

There was nobody that you trusted more than Tony, he had half raised you after your parents were killed, you felt indebted to him. But being an avenger, on a team where your personal opinion had been valued, it opened your eyes to a whole range of possibilities.

Whilst you were loyal to Tony, you had also became in tune with your own gut. It grumbled at the prospect of giving in to a contract, which decided what you were permitted to do. It was like a child’s parent permission slip, but on a much grander scale.

“People died!” He reminded the lot of you again, which inclined you to look down. There was blood on all of your hands, and he was making it as red as it could possibly be seen. “At least y/n agrees with me.” He reprimanded Steve, whom was still far on the fence regarding the entire ordeal.

Once he said that, all eyes had shifted towards you. Nat had already basically given in to your brother’s convictions, and Steve suspected that you would do the same. You were always one step behind Tony, you were far too loyal to your sibling for your own good.

“I have yet to make up my mind.” You spoke, standing, no longer wishing to be in the room where there was far too much tension. How you wished Banner and Thor were here, they would make an equal divide. The God of Thunder would not scribble his signature upon the paper, you thought to yourself, if he knew their reasons and affects.

However, your words were taken as an assumption that you would join your sibling in providing a peaceful surrender. It is what he and the public would assume of you, and to be truthful, you were tired of sticking to the stereotypes that were made of you.

“I’m surprised that you came.” Steve spoke, as you opened the boot of your car, and revealed the shield that he was so often adorned with, as well as Sam’s wings. He, like most others, had suspected that you would join your brother in his guilt ridden cause, however, thinking for yourself gave you a sense of freedom.

“Don’t be so quick to prevail into what everyone else thinks of me.” You smirked at the captain, your eyes drifting over to the other super soldier, whom had temporarily been imprisoned by the government.

But he had escaped, and if luck was not often a Stark trait, Tony would have died. You had watched from the cameras, but you could boil no bad blood in between the pair of you, Barnes was not in his right mind. He was controlled, and put into a incomprehensible mode of himself. That was, unless, he had managed to kill Tony.

Then you would have changed your own deciding mind, and stuck to what the eldest Stark believed in. “I won’t, ever again.” Sam smiled, picking up redwing from the composed pile, and kissing the machine.

“Bucky.” You reiterated his name, the one that he had chosen to correct the unknown and deceiving man on. The nod you earnt was brief, but it gave you a sense of hope that whirled in your middle.

It was clear that he was an attractive man, and alike his righteous friend, he was frozen through time to be in this current moment. As Sam and Steve began to get their things together, you walked over to the historical stranger, a smile upon your face. “I’m y/n Stark, I don’t believe we have had the fortune of meeting before.”

“You sure do speak like a Stark.” He softly spoke, a matching smile on his brawn face. “And you seem to have other things in common, like that necklace.” At his words, you looked down at it, a hint of anguish within your gaze.

“It belonged to my mother.” It was nice to reminisce about her for a moment, you knew that she would have made her own decisions too. In some retrospect, you were following in her footsteps.

A feeling grew in the back of Bucky’s throat, but he said nothing. If he were to spill, or reveal his dark secret, it would mean nothing more than the loss of a powerful asset, they could not afford that right now.

“Do you ever think about what would have happened if you got to return home?” It had been a stressful day, fighting your friends, and your last living family member. Bucky turned at your words, you had saved him from being killed, he felt indebted.

“Probably do what every other soldier did; find a woman to marry and have kids. But that’s far out of the picture in this modern age.” Steve was flying the aircraft as you and Bucky spoke in the back. It gave the two of you a moment alone, and you were truly knowing as though you knew the soldier.

He was a good man, misinterpreted by the deeds that he was controlled to do. No one chose to have pity on Barnes, they instead viewed him as a country danger, and wanted to lock him up in a cage, which was how he had come so far in the first place.

“I wouldn’t say that.” For a moment, you looked into his deep blue eyes, feeling as though he were freezing you with them. He didn’t want to look away, but you were inclined to, for you could feel the contrasts of hot and cold heat working its way up your neck, and onto your face. “There’s definitely a woman that would want all that and more with you.”

If things were simpler, you would be convinced that you could share such an intimate bond with him, but alas, everything had to be complicated. And if things could work out, they surely couldn’t last.

“We’re here.” Steve informed the both of you, as he slid out of his front seat, and you prepared to finish this for once and for all.

“How could you?!” You couldn’t defend him as Tony blasted him away, Bucky had played you, and done so well. He and Steve knew of the blood on his hands, and yet they hadn’t thought once to inform you of the one true treachery regrading you.

Bucky had killed your mother, from the intake of information alone, you felt sick. Physically sick. But you choked it down, and as Steve unsurely came towards you, you ran at him, angered by his lies.

From the start, the patriot of America, someone you had considered a friend had deceived you. You had helped him, stood with him, fought your friends for him, and not to mention Tony, and he had known all along.

“Y/n-”

“Save your apologies Rogers.” You stared him down, as he had Bucky held up by one arm, seeing as Barnes had lost one of his own again. “And you, you’re right, there’s no perfect picture, you’re nothing but a monster.”

“Listen.” Steve commanded, but you couldn’t. He was no longer considered your captain, he was a sick liar who had helped to break you. This was the last time that you made your own decisions. Tony was always right.

“You don’t deserve that shield, my father made that. It’s government property-” swiftly he dropped said item, an exhausted and tiresome expression upon Steve’s helmet wearing face.

As soon as they trudged by, you instantly went to Tony, checking his wounds. “You were right brother, I should have listened to you.”

“Your dad loved cheeseburgers too.” You laughed lightly to Morgan, blinking back the tears. It was Tony’s funeral, there were so many people here, even Fury, but there was someone else, who was walking towards you. “Why don’t you go and ask Happy, I have some business that I have to tend to quickly.”

“Okay auntie y/n.” She ran off. She was so innocent, she didn’t deserve to be going to her father’s funeral at five years old, it was truly cruel. But that was just the way the world worked, and Tony was a hero.

“Hi.” Bucky spoke, adorned in all black, same as you. It had been a long time since you had seen him, not since he was being carried away by Steve. You hadn’t fought in Wakanda, instead you had ended up on Titan with your brother, and you would have surely died without him.

“Hey Barnes.” You greeted him with a forced smile, but nevertheless allowed him to step closer.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” He said, the guilt still burning behind his eyes. It seemed that his time in Wakanda had changed him, for the better.

“Which one?” You quipped back, instantaneously.

“All of them.” He gulped, he was going to give you one truth before you found out after. It was his attempt at redemption, and a sorrowful one at that. “Steve’s returning the stones later.”

“I know.” You responded, the captain had already informed you about that part of his plan.

“And he’s not coming back.”

“Anthony Howard and Steven Nathan Barnes, the two of you better get back here this instant!” Your voice hollered through the house, as well as the duo’s endless giggles.

The front door opened, no other than Bucky walking through. He was quick to recognise the flash of motherly anger upon your face, and quickly dropped his serene smile.

“What have they done?” Bucky asked, watching as you crossed your arms in an unimpressed manner.

“Why don’t you ask your sons?” Your husband sighed, but despite that, he was a happy man. He had returned from a war, and found a lovely wife, of which he had two troublesome boys with. For the first time in a long time, y/n Stark and Bucky Barnes were happy.

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arc852 · 3 years

Text

A Companion for Loneliness 1/2

Summary: Tommy is lonely, so Phil takes the advice of Tommy’s therapist and gets him a pet.

Warnings: Dehuminization (treating people like pets)

Word Count: 2234

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Phil hung up the phone and let out a long sigh, hanging his head. The call from his boss, about having to work longer hours, was a good thing money wise. Especially since his boss guaranteed he’d be paid overtime for the longer hours. What it wasn’t good for was his son.

Now Tommy was old enough to take care of himself. The fifteen year old reminded him of that everyday, calling himself a big man and other such similar things. But, though Tommy didn’t admit it, Phil knew that he got lonely when Phil was out all day and night at his job. And especially now that it was summer, Tommy no longer had school to distract him from that loneliness.

Phil was hoping to spend more time with Tommy during the summer but with his increase in hours, that wasn’t going to be possible. It wouldn’t be so bad if Tommy had friends to hang out with but…

Of course, that wasn’t Tommy’s fault. But it made Phil feel even worse about not being able to be there for his son.

His phone rang again, pulling Phil out of his thoughts. He glanced at the caller ID before answering it. “Hey Puffy,” Tommy’s therapist was a wonderful young woman and had helped Tommy a lot. Tommy didn’t see her as often anymore but Puffy always made sure to call every once in a while to see how things were going. Phil appreciated it and he knew Tommy did too.

“Hey Mr. Minecraft! Just checking in. How is Tommy doing? Summer should be starting soon, right?” Puffy asked, cheerful as always.

“Yeah, it just started actually. And Tommy’s...good.” The silence he received made Phil wince.

“And how is Tommy actually doing?” Puffy asked, tone softer this time. Phil sighed. He really couldn’t get anything past Puffy. Not that he was really trying to but still.

“He is doing well at the moment but I just received some news from my work. I...They need me to put in extra hours. The money will be great for us but--” He was cut off.

“But Tommy will be left all alone.”

Phil shut his eyes, using his free hand to rub at them. “Yeah. For the most part. And I hate doing that to him but there really isn’t anything I can do about it.”

“...Have you thought about getting Tommy a pet?” Puffy said suddenly and Phil opened his eyes again, blinking.

“A pet?”

“Yeah, ya know, a companion to keep Tommy company and distracted while you're gone. Pets are wonderful for that sort of thing.” Puffy explained. Phil had never thought about that before, mostly because he never really cared for having a pet in the first place. But if it was to help Tommy…

“So, should I get him a dog? Or would a cat be better? A hamster?” What pet would be best for Tommy?

“Actually, for Tommy, I was thinking more along the lines of a borrower.”

“A borrower?” Phil didn’t pay much attention to things happening around the world but even he had heard about the discovery of borrowers several years ago. They were huge back then but the hype had died down over the years. They were still fairly popular but the novelty had long since worn off. “Why a borrower for Tommy?”

“Well, unlike other pets, they can actually have conversations with us.” Puffy said and, well, she had a really good point there. “It might be good for Tommy to be able to talk with someone. My nephew recently got his own pet borrower and he loves him and my son has had one for years. They make great companions, in ways a dog or cat can’t be. I think one would be perfect for Tommy.”

Phil had been nodding along, a smile slowly creeping onto his face. It really did sound perfect. A pet that would not only distract Tommy but one he could also speak to and hang out with.

“I think I’ll take you up on your advice Puffy, thank you so much.” Phil could hear the smile on Puffy’s face as he spoke back.

“That’s what I’m here for! Literally. Anyway, let me know how it goes and I wish you luck in picking one out for Tommy. Oh and I would stick to males when picking out a borrower and either around Tommy’s age or a bit older. It’ll hopefully make it easier for Tommy to connect with a borrower like that.”

Phil nodded despite knowing Puffy couldn’t see him. “Thank you Puffy. Talk to you later.”

“Bye Mr. Minecraft!” And with that, Puffy hung up. Phil placed his phone down on his desk, feeling better about the whole situation. He glanced at the time and went to grab his keys.

He started working again tomorrow, so he might as well go out and get Tommy that borrower while he could.

***

Phil entered the pet store, looking around to try and see where they kept their borrowers. He must have looked as lost as he felt though, as an employee came up to him with a smile on her face. Her name tag read Niki.

“Hello sir, is there anything I could help you with today?” Her voice was cheerful and authentic. It made Phil smile.

“Yes, actually. Um, I’m here to buy my fifteen year old son a borrower.” Phil said and he almost missed the way Niki shifted and tensed up slightly at the mention of a borrower. But as quickly as it came it went and Niki was back to her relaxed self. Phil must have imagined it.

“Of course! Right this way, I’ll show you our selection of borrowers.” Niki started walking towards the back of the store and Phil followed, looking down the aisles as they passed them. Finally, Niki turned into one and Phil followed, seeing the rows of cages filled with borrowers. Though, there weren't as many as Phil would have first thought.

“Our selection in this store is a little small but you should be able to find one here.” Niki said with a smile. Phil glanced around at the cages, biting his lip at all the choices. How was he supposed to pick?

“You said this was for your son, right?” Niki chimed in again and Phil’s gaze landed back on her as he nodded.

“Yeah, my job is keeping me extra long this summer and my son...doesn’t really have any friends. He gets lonely, though he won’t admit it, and I feel bad for leaving him. His therapist is the one who suggested I get him a borrower, actually.” Phil explained.

“I see.” Niki hummed. Phil noticed how her gaze had softened though it was weird considering Phil hadn’t noticed her tense before. “Well, I have to go back to the front but there are a few borrowers in that last cage at the end of the aisle that might catch your eye.” She pointed at said cage, gave Phil a smile and then walked past him to head back up to the front.

Phil watched her go and then turned back towards the cage she had pointed at. He headed over that way, glancing into the cage once he came upon it. There were about five in this one cage and Phil looked them all over. A couple seemed to simply ignore him, while one seemed to try and make itself smaller and another refused to even look at him.

The fifth one though, was actually actively glaring at him.

Phil blinked, meeting that one's gaze. It was hard to make out the finer details of his face from the corner he was sitting in but he was clearly tall for a borrower, or at least, compared to the others in the cage with him, and his hair sat in a similar way to Tommy’s but was brown instead of blond.

In fact, though Phil couldn’t quite place why, this borrower reminded him a lot of Tommy right off the bat. Maybe it was the fire behind that glare or even just the hair, but it was there and Phil couldn’t ignore it.

“Hello mate,” He said in greeting, smiling softly and ignoring the glare. The borrower jumped slightly but his glare only hardened. “What’s your name?”

“F*** off.” The borrower spat out and Phil’s eyes widened. He was reminded of Tommy more by the second.

Well, that had been easier than Phil thought.

He stood up straight and walked away, ignoring the confused look the borrower had sent him. When he came back with Niki, the borrower’s eyes widened and he hurried to a stand. “Oh f*** no.”

“I had a feeling you’d take a liking to Wilbur.” Niki said with a smile towards Phil.

“Wilbur?” Phil asked for clarification and Niki nodded.

“That’s his name. Wilbur Soot, 22 years old. He was caught and brought into this pet store around 6 months ago.” Niki explained and then turned her attention to said borrower. “Hey Wilbur, it looks like today is the day.”

Wilbur shook his head, looking panicked. “N-No! What the hell, Niki?!”

Phil glanced between the two, confused. Niki let out a little sigh and sent a sad smile towards Phil. “Sorry, he’s just nervous.” She turned back to Wilbur. “Trust me Wil, this will be good for you.” Phil watched as she reached in and wrapped her hand around the borrower. Said borrower squirmed and tried to fight his way out of the grip but it proved fruitless. Niki brought him out of the large cage, only to place him into the smaller one she had brought with her from the front.

Once he was locked inside, he was handed over to Phil. “Alright, let’s go and get the payment all settled.” Niki said and Phil nodded, following her once again back towards the front. He handed his card over once Niki took to the register and Niki started the payment process.

“Were you getting anything else today?” Niki asked, she was still smiling but it was a little less wide than before. Phil blinked at the question, glancing down at the borrower in the small cage. He was still being glared at but now the little guy was curled in on himself near the center of the cage.

“Um...should I be getting something else? Sorry, this was sort of a last minute thing. What exactly do borrowers need?” Phil asked, feeling sheepish at his lack of knowledge. Thankfully, Niki’s understanding gaze made him feel better.

“Well, honestly, they don’t need a lot. Or, at least, they don’t need a lot of things that you need to buy. They eat human food just fine, so no need to waste money on that. I would recommend a borrower bed for him to sleep in though. And a collar for if he gets lost but those aren’t required.” Niki explained and Phil nodded along.

“That sounds good. Could you throw in a borrower bed and I’ll go ahead and take the collar too.” Phil said and Niki nodded, fetching the items and placing them in a small bag. She then rang up the order and Phil was hesitant to see the price. But when it appeared on screen his eyes widened. It wasn’t nearly as much as he would have thought.

“Here you go.” She handed over the bag, which Phil took and picked back up the cage that he had placed on the counter.

“Thank you so much for your help.” Phil said and Niki grinned.

“Of course, if you need anything again, I’m happy to help!” They waved goodbye and then Phil was out the door.

He got into his car but hesitated placing Wilbur down into the front seat. He looked down at the borrower, noticing how the little guy hadn’t moved much from his earlier position but now he seemed to be refusing to look at him. He looked sad and it made Phil’s heart melt just a little bit.

“Hey mate,” He spoke and Wilbur’s head snapped up to look at him. The glare was back but it was less intense this time, another emotion that Phil couldn’t quite pinpoint getting in the way of the heat. “Just thought I should explain. I’m getting you for my son, Tommy. He’s fifteen and doesn’t have any friends. His therapist suggested I get him a borrower, so here we are.”

Wilbur’s expression dropped and Phil suddenly felt the need to reassure him. “Don’t worry though, Tommy is a good kid and I’m sure he’ll love you. You’ll be just fine.” Satisfied with that amount of reassurance, Phil put Wilbur’s cage down and locked it into place with the seatbelt, just in case.

Once he was sure the cage and the borrower inside were secure, Phil started up the car. He glanced at the time and hummed to himself. “Should probably pick up some dinner on the way home.” He’d pick up Tommy’s favorite, to try and further ease the pain the news of him working extra hours would bring. Hopefully the food and the new pet will be enough for Tommy.

“Don’t worry mate, we’ll be home soon.” He spoke aloud to Wilbur again, for some extra reassurance before backing out of the parking space and rolling out of the parking lot.

#g/t #giant/tiny #mcyt g/t #dsmp g/t #au #borrowers #borrower!wilbur #human!phil #human!tommy #i don't really like the title #but oh well

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worstloki · 3 years

Text

Top Forty Thor-Being-Thor Moments from Thor 1

just absolute dumb*ssery that this 7yr old kid’s life goal is to “hunt down the monsters and slay them all”. I’ll go easy on him here and let the Thor/Loki expressions do the talking because of “...just like you did Father” but seriously can his hands even fit around a sword handle??? this kid isn’t even punching the air right??? if there was a sword in his hand he would’ve cut his head with the way he’s moving???? pure tiny-himbo energy here just look at that >:o face he’s making. contrasts very nicely with Loki’s ‘,:|. 10/10. such a baby idiot.

“the jotuns must pay for what they have done! they broke into the weapons vault! if the frost giants had stolen even one of these relics!” thor. thor please. can you even name one of these relics. thor. hey thor. thor. shut up. “well, what would you do about this?” odin asks him. “march into jotunheim! like you once did! break their spirits! so they’ll never try anything like this again!” wow okay so we’ve fast-forwarded by like a thousand years and thor is still going on about genocide. huh. that’s funny, i thought loki was the genocidal one. hmm. i also just realized that the loki exclusive clip gives loki the same hairstyle thor has here so do what you will with that information.

0/10. horrible. terrible. i dont care how angy thor is about not getting to kill some jotuns or become king today this very instant, that is a tremendous waste of food. an absolute fool. how can he just remorselessly throw the bread to the floor. if loki stabbed him when he was 7 he would deserve it for this table flip alone. what a privileged white *ssh*le.

loki came skulking around a corner and suggested not to go to jotunheim and not only did thor not suspect anything but he also then went on to decide to go to jotunheim. 10/10 himbo material.

if tumblr didn’t have a picture limit i would put every instance of thor smiling in this list because look at that stupid smile. he’s such an idiot. 11/10. this is the thor content i’m here for.

“I have no plans to die today” thor says with the stupidest open-mouthed smirking smile ever captured on film. right after he also told heimdall not to tell anyone they’re gone. he’s literally planned to strand them on jotunheim. thor’s grand plan was to strange themselves on jotunheim and also start a fight. i repeat: thor’s plan was to successfully slay all the frost giants and not need to return until they’re all gone. what an absolute d*mb*ss. this is getting ridiculous. this was originally a top-ten-thor moments list but i’m not even twenty minutes in so i’ll have to extend the list. thor. thor are you listening? thor, you’re such an idiot.

“HOW DID YOUR PEOPLE GET INTO ASGARD?!” thor you sweet sweet summer idiot, please, i am beggin,g you,, learn to rea,d , a room,, literally everyone else who came with you is regretting it, there is complete silence and only the rumble of the opposing king is meeting your “I AM THOR, SON OF ODIN”s, please, please take some notes from Loki, or, you know, literally anyone else in the room, since everyone is asking you to get out of this realm while you still can,

thor’s stupid smile makes an appearance after he gets called a princess and decides to fight a whole realm over it. you know what? thor is a princess. he’s the prettiest princess in all the lands. what’s thor gonna do about it? is he going to fight me too? I hope he does the stupid grin first. minus 15 points for the sexism. thor is a complete and utter sadistic fool who needs to get a hobby. seriously, he’s 1500 years old and still going on and on about slaying all the frost giants. boi, i hate to break it to you, but your dad is not the best or only example of greatness out there. i don’t think your dad even qualifies as an example of that.

“THEN. GO!” 🥰 ahh yes, just thor thingz 🥰🥰 like when one friend has had his arm burnt 🥰 and another friend has been impaled and needs medical attention, 🥰🥰 and all the rest of your friends are yelling for you, 🥰 and your brother is telling you they must go, 🥰 and you decide to buy everyone time by laughing maniacally and killing more frosties because you care for them and dont find joy in destruction like a loon 🥰🥰🥰

THIS is the iconic Thor moment that makes my day whenever I think about it. Just Thor, an absolute bumbering 6′6′’ giant boodlusting dummy sees Odin and just decides to yell “FATHAA!! WE’LL FINISH THEM TOGETHAAA!” as if the last thing Odin told him wasn’t “no, thor, we’re not going to do anything to the frost giants, do not go after them and try to kill them all.” 11/10 d*mb*assery right here folks, I couldn’t ask for Thor to be more of a fool. This is PEAK Thor energy. Look at that face. I feel like Thor spends half this movie with his nostrils flared. I love it.

okay i gotta give thor credit for rightfully calling odin “an old man and a fool” but also there was not even 1 frame of the scene where Thor had a decent face so now all i see is >:O >:| >:o >:[ when i watch that scene. yelling at odin was great, not yelling at odin after he HUAERGHed at loki was less great, but to be fair it’s thor and he is the definition of Peak D*mb*ss.

thor literally GROWLS and starts yelling “HAMMAA?? HAMMER??” over and over. He was hit by a van, he fainted, he woke up and started growling. I don’t know what else there is to say about this.

“you dare threaten me? puny human?”. so. uhh. basically. Thor knew she was threatening him? He KNEW she had a weapon? instead he made a face and started yelling as he tried to walk his way closer????? thor you complete and utter dum dum. you frickin hairball-for-brains. im not even surprised darcy tasered him. with that kind of face, i’d taser him too.

when you wake up in an unknown place to a person smiling at you without a stupid smile, the first step is always to attack first and ask questions later 😌😌😌 (but seriously thor you imbecile why didn’t you ask where you were instead of throwing multiple people around the room and getting your butt needled. you clueless buffoon. you’ll remain a clueless buffoon if you don’t listen to anyone.)

just a quick recap but thor was knocked unconscious by a van and these people kidnapped him aboard and the next scene we see him in he’s checking himself out in mirror after presumably changing right there in the open?????? these are the things that make thor thor. any other character and i’d question it so much, but this is thor, and i truly believe this is in-character for him. just change in the open because why not? thor is a beefcake and that’s his only redeeming quality and he knows it. 10/10 thor moment.

I am now convinced that Thor saw Jane and “5k van-hitter to lover slow-burn height-difference himbo-scientist trope” flashed through his mind.

“but no more smashing!” Jane says, and then Thor proceeds to check her out and smile unlike an idiot and like a douche. was this his version of flirting???? i’m not one to decide, but yes, yes it was. He threw a cup to the ground and broke it, and she’s getting mad at him and berating him about it, and he’s liking it. y’all i’m sorry to break it to you like this, but thor has a canon fetish. i am so, so sorry.

im DYING. THAT ISN’T EVEN A KISS, HIS MOUTH IS OPEN. he SMUSHES his mouth around her knuckle???? WHY. I can’t keep noticing things like this. send help. please. Jane’s response makes so much more sense now; she’s laughs for a solid 3 seconds and shakes her head and is like “uhh, thank you? ahaha,” and then she keeps looking back longingly when walking away. they are doing this in PLAIN sight of EVERYONE. Darcy and Erik are standing RIGHT THERE, and Thor is doing weird things to her with his mouth. I’m out. I am done here. goodbye.

return of the stupid smile AND the douche smile in quick succession through the entire trip. their entire dialogue is peppered with innuendo. “I’ve never done anything like this before. have you ever done anything like this before?” “many times, but you are brave to do it.” “I have nothing else to lose.” “ah but you are clever, far more clever than anyone else on this realm.” “realm? rEaLm?” “you think me strange?” “yes” “good strange or bad strange?” “I haven’t decided yet.” I AM DYING OVER THIS. plus, we get Return Of The Himbo with Jane asking after Einstein Rosen bridges and Thor is like “uh, actually, more like a rainbow bridge 😜🤪” i feel so sorry for jane here, didn’t know how much of a d*mb*ss Thor was when signing up for this van-trip and knuckle-sucking 😭😭😭 i also no longer have questions about how the trip that SHOULD HAVE BEEN A HALF-HOUR ONE turned into one that LASTED TILL THE SUN WENT FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY TO SETTING by the time they arrived. I have no questions. please. I don’t want to know what they were doing in that van. please no. don’t make me think about it.

thor’s plan had 3 steps and they were 1. give jane his jacket 2. walk in and get his hammer 3. fly out. that was literally his plan. he had the first “I have a plan. attack.” moment in the MCU. pure concentrated 0-brain-cells energy right here. how can you not stan this king of d*mb*ssery. look at him, flaunting his big boy muscles. he’s about get his hammer and fly out, like he just told jane with a trademark stupid-smile.

crop-top hair-mop thor is my favourite thor. the way the entire fight scene parallels a hamster in a maze only exemplifies the thor vibes for some inexplicable reason.

“you’re big. fought bigger.” + Thor douche-smile + subtext from earlier + rolling around passionately in the mud = not a happy me.

I swear i’m not making up this romantic subtext but it’s barely even subtext. the entire scene leading up to Thor’s attempt at lifting the hammer is actually filmed erotically. I’m not kidding. First there’s a shot where Thor pulls aside a hamster-cage-wall blind which mirrors a shower-curtain, and THEN he walks around the hammer while smiling douche-ly at it, we get a few close-ups to his face which are shot from angles slightly lower than himself, giving him an aire of superiority, plus the music adds to this, he reaches out for the hammer’s handle with a mud-covered arm in the rain, in non-slow-motion slow-motion, and he wraps his arm around it, like, he fully twists his arm, unecessarily sexually, around it as he grabs the hammer. This is not okay. On the plus side, it makes the movie much more entertaining,, on the down side,,.

im not going to call Thor dumb for not knowing he’s not worthy. im not going to. because odin literally whispered the enchantment to mjolnir after he’d thrown thor to midgard. it is very funny watching thor grunt in frustration though. he starts yelling because he couldn’t lift the hammer and just lets himself get caught. like, dude, get a life, go buy a new weapon from the store, seriously. he mourns for the hammer on-screen longer than he does for loki. he also looks like he’s in far more pain here. he becomes catatonic and unresponsive after this, but when loki dies he’s already feasting the same afternoon. 10/10 dum dum thor material. never change thor, never change. (that’s code for please change, thor, please,)

thor trying to establish dominance wherever he goes is the funniest thing because at this point he’s being a complete asgardian *ss about it and it’s reaching points of pettiness never seen before. side note: he is possibly flirting with selvig too. maybe. i’m not saying anything happened, but Thor’s openning lines when bringing him home carried over his shoulder are “he’s fine, not injured at all,” followed with an apology to selvig, and an explanation to jane which consisted only of “we drank, we fought, he made his ancestors proud,” and then he puts the man to bed and before he falls asleep erik says “i still don’t believe you’re the g*d of th*nder, but you ought to be,” so... your choice, i guess...

thor’s got his trademark stupid smile and stupidly takes jane’s life’s work notebook and starts doodling in it about trees. the last time his father told him this story about Yggdrasil was when he was 5 and he clearly hasn’t payed attention to any lesson about anything since and it shows so so much. thank you thor. very insightful knowledge you’re passing on hear. ‘i come from a world where [science and magic] are one and the same,’ ok great, now elaborate on that please. oh, right, you can’t because you’re thor, my bad, 20/10 thor behaviour. he couldn’t even doodle nicely. all his lines are wobbly. epic art fail. i wouldn’t trust him near my sketchbook with a 2B pencil.

THIS is thor’s realization face. in case anyone was interested in what ‘dawning truth’ looked like on him. 😰😪 THIS is the face of a thinker, of a man betrayed by his own beloved brother for unprecedented reasons. look at the nuance in his expression. 😩😩😩 so many emotions, I can’t even count them all 😩💯😪

stupid smile and “do not worry my friends, i have a plan,” he says, “i’ll just try and abuse the fact that Loki’s super selfless and kind and has no self worth to my benefit as i have countless times before which is exactly what he’s rightfully angry about this time,” he doesn’t think to himself because that is NOT the smile of someone who is thinking... like, at all. +10000 points to gryffinthor. the d*mb*ssery really jumps out.

“im sorry bro for whatever i did and whatever you’re blaming me for as an excuse to do this, im sorry bro, but you’re disturbing innocents that i don’t really care about but you’re the one making a scene in front of them so why don’t you admit you won’t kill me and are just having a temper tantrum and we move on? hmm?” and then he proceeds to get slam dunked in the face with a metal arm like yEAAAA BOI that’s what you GET for going up against the SENTIENT LAVA-SPEWING metal-man ya absolute dunderhead clod. thunderhead clod? yeah, that. he’s just so dumb, your honour, please, you must understand, the victim pleads guilty on all charges of d*mb*ss and d*mb*ss alone.

I can NOT describe the emotions I feel knowing that Thor is suck-kissing Jane’s knuckles. Like, his mouth is literally jelly-ing it up against her hand. There is suction there and it shows when he is placing and removing his mouth. I promise that’s what is happening. I’m not any happier than you about this. I regret everything. This is why Loki should be what is focused on and not Thor; Thor’s going around trying to frick frack everything in sight even if it’s just Jane’s hand. He’s maintaining eye contact with Jane while he licks her fingers. Why did I decide to rewatch this movie.

i’m only adding this in as a thor moment because of how desperately and badly they kiss. seriously. 2/10 kiss. im not surprised jane broke up with him. they look like two actual seals fighting over an actual grape. while i’m here i’m going to criticize every fic ever that decided thor is an experienced gentle lover. what were y’all on when watching this movie. thor can and will f*ck literally everything in sight and he won’t even do it well because he is the peakest of peak d*m d*m. look at this man. look at his face. that is the face of an absolute himbo idiot, and it’s the face of an absolute himbo idiot who knows it. he’s been stranded on earth for 2 days, max, and his flirt-count is at 69 people because his name is one letter away from thot. i bet his terrible use of a pen from early means he writes his ‘r’s like ‘t’s and he doesn’t even care. 1000/10 thor moment. doesn’t get much more romance-thor than two individuals smooshing their faces together after some finger sucking. that finger sucking is gonna leave jane simping for years. and that’s true love babey. <3

“I’ll handle my Brother!” Thor says, as if Loki didn’t send a metal-murder-bot that quite virtually killed him less than ten minutes ago asdfhkhsdgsdjf Thor, you horrific himbo you, Loki’s weapon of choice is literally throwing knives he will literally kill you before you enter the room if he’s on his game and wants you dead which he just proved he would do and you’re just gonna???????????? jog on over to him????? Thor??????????? bruH???????????? buddy??????? pal???????? you really wanna go 1v1 the brother you very clearly underestimate and know nothing about????????????????? im loving the confidence, but, no.

Loki: “you literally can’t stop this from here.” Thor, immediately: “i’m going to hit it with the hammer and see if that works” and then it does in fact work later... technically speaking, even if it ends up causing chaos destruction and death and loki falling off the bifrost 😔😔😔 but Big Brain Thor is the Biggest Brained Thor!!! The plan worked!! in a messy-Thor-ish way, but it did!!!

“you can’t kill an entire race!!!!” Thor yells, teeth gritted, as he faces his brother, his coward pacifist brother, who has suddenly decided he wants to join the age-old family tradition of realm-destroying, when this is supposed to be Thor’s dream, Thor’s, not Loki’s. How dare he, Thor thinks to himself, fist clenched around Mjolnir in anger, the pain of the handle pressing against his palm perhaps the only thing preventing him from lashing out at this thought, that’s my planet of monsters to slay, he should go get his own! Loki hits Thor across the face with the back-end of his spear. “Now fight me,” Loki says, but Thor, well, Thor cannot fight, as he remains stunned that of all things Loki would dare steal his life’s ambition, and he is sent sprawling backwards across the observatory, slowly but surely sliding to a stop despite his catatonic, very symbolic silence.

the elegance, the poise, i see your time on earth has made you no less graceful, Thor. the simple magnitude of this sprawl. the spread of the arms. the turn of the feet. this is not a dude, this is a man.

sometimes your brother starts vehemently talking about he’s gonna kill the race of monsters and about how he’s only ever wanted to be your equal and about how he’s not your brother and never was and sometimes you just have to say “this is madness” instead of addressing the issues or asking for any of the deets 🔥 👊💯😩

Loki is whipping Thor’s butt. Both literally, and metaphorically, Loki is whooping Thor’s d*mb*ss. Earlier he knicked Thor’s face, now he’s just pushing Thor around, he uses the spear as a pole and later kicks Thor’s face by kicking vertically up, and Thor, bless him in all his blond golden muscled glory, doesn’t think anything is up with this, gosh he’s such an absolute utter idiot

sometimes your brother laughs way too much and also cries too much in a fight and there are also too many of him so you just need to blast lightning so you get a shot at all of them 😌😌😌 and then put your magical infinitely-heavy hammer on his chest 😌😌😌 but it’s okay because Thor left holes in Loki’s container 😌😌😌

now THIS is the meat to Thor’s funny bone, just the pure unadulterated humour that is Thor saying that there will never be a “wiser king” or a “better father” than Odin, it cracks me up every single time without fail, just the way he says it with a straight face and— what do you mean he wasn’t joking

look at Thor’s stupid smile as he asks Heimdall to spy on jane every single day while conveniently never asking after Loki ever. This is Thor’s face in mourning after he attended a feast after everyone was celebrating after Loki’s death. Look at his stupid smile. I love him your honour. He’s just,, he’s just so frickin stewpeed, just Thor being Thor, just the purest of d*mbest of *sses.

#listen #if people can interpret loki and the grandmaster as a thing when loki spends the entire time looking uncomfortable about every situation #then i can interpret thor as flirting with people when there are actual canon questions which get solved when other explanations dont work #so #dont mind me here #in conclusion: thor is a dum dum idiot and it's *chef's kiss*#thank you for coming to my ted talk #ThisPostIsLongerThanMyLifeSpan #TPILTMLS #Language!#language #im one of those people who comments on things through movies but you can't be mad because it's worth it and i've got points #obviously writing means i can get the full gist of the comments out without summarizing #but #like #my family is simply underappreciative and i'm a genius

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industriallyinsecure · 3 years

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Spare some hcs for darling begging their yandere for a pet? (I know Maggi already has one but lets assume they want another one to keep them and sweetie baby some company?)

Bold of you to assume Formaggio doesn’t have a shit ton of stray cats running around his apartment bc he couldn’t part with them. For the sake of this, Form’s kitty is named Fontina (yes like the cheese I’m so funny)

Formaggio was just thinking about it!! His little sweetie weetie pumpkin wumpkin Fontina needed someone to keep her company. Not just you, a new friend! Traps one of the strays from the alley or picks one up from a shelter. Either way, he’s coming home with a new cat that you immediately adore and love, even if they are just a stinke lidol creachur. And just like her owner, Fontina is suddenly very attached to your new little friend. Pets do take after their owners after all.

Illuso thought it was funny to get your hopes up only to dash them moments later. It wasn’t enough that he gave you attention? You had to have more than one thing giving you constant attention? He won’t admit it, but he doesn’t want you to focus on anything but him. Cats wouldn’t work, they were too fickle. Dogs were too loud and needed attention at all times (ahem). Rodents smelled bad, as did bunnies. Don’t even get him started about reptiles! There’s really no winning with him, not when he believes he’s all you’ll ever want or need.

Pesci didn’t seem to understand that fish weren’t good company. The betta was pretty, the angelfish were relaxing to watch drift around the aquarium, and yes, the snails were fun to watch occasionally. But you couldn’t hold and love them! So logically, Pesci took you to the pet store to pick out a new addition to the tiny, dingy place he called home (it was your personal prison). When he saw your face light up at the assortment of hamsters, he knew that one of them would break you out of this little funk you were in. And of course he couldn’t just let you have one, your new friend needed a friend too! But before he could ask for an attendant, you insisted that the animal had to choose you, not the other way around. Pesci thought it was adorable when you gently pressed a finger to the glass and the small hamster pressed it’s claw where your finger was. The worker who ended up helping informed both of you that the two hamsters in the cage were siblings, and you (and especially not Pesci) didn’t have the heart to separate them. Now your cruddy excuse for a home had two more little residents, and of course Pesci couldn’t leave without a dwarf gourami fish, either.

It took some convincing, but Prosciutto finally gave in after about a week of sulking and begging. Cats were low maintenance and didn’t need to be walked, so it was a perfect choice. You wouldn’t need to leave the house, and he wouldn’t have to deal with slobber all over his expensive dress shoes, suits, or face. Of course he didn’t take into account that cats shed too, but you’d let him figure that one out on his own. Soon, a fluffy white cat with golden eyes was strutting around your little apartment like she owned the place. Prosciutto didn’t think it was funny you equated her prissiness to his, or that you named her Pancetta just to tease him. It wasn’t like you didn’t catch him sneaking her the gourmet deli cuts he brought home, or that you didn’t see him only giving her tuna. But you’d keep those little bits of information to yourself and just enjoy the way the three of you cuddled on the couch.

Melone is immediately on board. He’ll never admit it, but it was a test of how you handled another’s life. Aka testing if you could handle a baby. Made you take multiple tests to determine what type of animal he should get you, and seriously considers getting you one of each type to see what happened. He concluded that it would be a high stress environment for everyone involved, so that idea was shelved for now. But with his menial paycheck, he couldn’t afford to get you a purebred puppy, even if you insisted that you didn’t care what it looked like. Instead, he settled for a stray puppy he found wandering around the apartment. It was a ratty little thing that almost took his fingers off when he picked it up. When he proudly presented it to you, you insisted that it be bathed so it wouldn’t look (and probably feel) so yucky. Somehow he got you to help him clean the little dog, and he swears that you enjoyed it even if you were frowning most of the time.

Ghiaccio thought you were being a smart ass about his stand and ended up yelling at you for a good five minutes until you started sobbing and locked yourself in the shared bedroom (which he had still neglected to take the lock out). That’s how you ended up with the petulant grey cat Ottavia, an apology gift from the equally petulant Ghiaccio. Not only did they fight a lot, over you, not surprisingly, but Ghiaccio got beaten every time. He swore up and down that your beloved Otto was out to get him, but you picked her side every time, gently squeezing her little beans as you insisted she could do no harm. It was too bad he destroyed your phone, otherwise you could’ve taken pictures of her snuggling up to him while he napped.

Risotto is very wary. Not because he doesn’t want to see you happy, he’s just not confident in his ability to take care of such a small little thing that needed care and attention all the time (cut the act Risotto we all know it’s how you feel about your darling). With enough begging, he saves up enough to buy some higher end pet cages from a garage sale. When he comes home with two rats clinging on to his hand for dear life, he didn’t expect you to start crying. At first he thought you didn’t like them and almost turned on his heel to return them, but seeing you scoop up the little rodents and shower them with kisses and nuzzles made his chest swell with pride. He likes to put them on your head when you’re in a bad mood, it usually works and cheers you up right away. Sometimes he puts them on his hat while he’s scribbling away on paperwork and you’re napping in the bedroom.

I'm gonna be honest here. Gelato probably burned ants for fun as a child. But that didn’t stop Sorbet from coming home with a full size Doberman pinscher. It doubled as a companion AND a deterrent (for you leaving or for intruders, you’d never know. You had a pretty good guess, however). Gelato had trained Anice to bark when you approached any exits to the apartment, including the windows, which caused problems in the summer when you went to open them to let a minuscule breeze in. Anice, despite his scary appearance, loved to cuddle. He often was splayed over your lap, dozing peacefully until Gelato jingled his leash or Sorbet set out food for him. Anice especially loved it when the three of you were “snuggled” up together on the couch and he didn’t have to pick whose lap he wanted to sit on. He was more of Sorbet’s puppy than your companion, however. Anice was very touchy and selective about when you could and could not pet him, sometimes snapping at your hand if you moved too quickly.

#la squadra di esecuzione #yandere headcanons #yandere risotto #yandere ghiaccio #yandere melone #yandere prosciutto #yandere pesci #yandere illuso #yandere formaggio #la squadra x reader

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