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harry-styles-obsessed · 2 months

Text

Story does include smut. Minors do not interact with this post, thank you.

Trigger warnings: description of near assault/ bullying, age gap, dominant, dark Harry (kinda?), praise, dad! Harry, younger reader (early 20s), body image issues, self esteem issues… reader is just incredibly insecure… everything that goes hand in hand with that basically— and lots of smutty stuff! This will be kind of slow burn!! Long story so get comfortable! Also please read with discretion lovelies. You all matter.

This story was requested but the requester asked to remain anonymous so I will not be mentioning anything about their request but please to anyone out there struggling with any type of body imagine problems please PLEASE know you’re absolutely beautiful and I hope one day you will see that.

©️ please do not copy or translate my work.

Harry x plus size Inexperienced fem! Reader (Harry is not famous in this story)

Make you mine

"You cannot be serious Anna"

Your voice was annoyed and frustrated "oh I'm deadly serious”

You throw a glare directly at Anna who's grinning at you mischievously "you’re unbelievable. I’ve got work to focus on anyways so… no.” You murmur a flush of red appearing upon your already reddened cheeks. You didn’t do parties. You didn’t like parties. Full stop. Parties were where bad things happen and you were not planning on getting involved with that type of shit.

"Don't change the subject! Y/n please... PLEASE. You know it'll be fun!! Plus Jamie is fine as hell... his tattoos and shit like-" you felt annoyance spread throughout you your hand coming up to pinch the bridge of your nose "alright alright! Fine.. whatever. I'll come with you to your friends stupid party." You mutter rolling you eyes watching out of your peripheral as Anna does a little happy dance, before tightly wrapping her arms around your neck

"Thank god! Now we've got to choose your outfit. That red dress looks real good on you." She spoke suddenly sporadically searching through your wardrobe making you roll your eyes. She cannot be serious. Going to a party is one thing but dressing up with zero body confidence is another thing.

“Anna.” You spoke in a warning tone, fear and worry spreading across your features “I am not skinny. Im not even pretty. I don’t have your body confidence!” You didn’t feel beautiful whatsoever. You felt like an absolute failure and mess most of the time. You just felt ugly. Sure Anna would beg to differ but she was your best friend, of course she would boost you up. You hated the way you looked it made you feel sick... you hated your body. You hated yourself. You hated everything to do with yourself. “Y/n! Enough. You’re beautiful. Keep talking shit and I might just have to get a handsome guy to show you how perfect you really a-“ “NO. Anna. Oh my god gross— no.”

You say exasperated as you plop down onto the bed, laying down- your arms dangling just above your head as you breathe quietly hearing hangers clattering together as your best friend continued viciously searching through your wardrobe.

Jamie Goodman was.... Something else. He was annoying. The class clown basically. He used to be in your tutor group in school and he just had to fucking follow your path to college classes and annoy you further. Anna thought the world of him and you were almost 100% certain that they had slept together once or twice.

"Found it!!" Anna cheered spinning around with the red dress held in her hands grinning widely "c'mon put it on! I want to get there early!" She spoke and you squeezed your eyes shut, exhaling. You loved Anna. She was your best friend, you adored her, but god could she get so fucking annoying sometimes. She made you want to rip your hair out but... she wouldn't be your best friend if she didn't do that occasionally.

"I cannot believe you made me agree with you" you mutter before standing up yanking the dress from her hands, stripping off your clothes as she too began getting changed into an outfit far too revealing- a tank top that was more like a bra top. And short shorts, her entire stomach and rib cage exposed along with her long legs. Gods to have her confidence and carelessness…

"Might want to pack condoms." You speak to her, hearing the shifting of material pause as she glances at you brows raising before a slight laugh leaves her lips "I'm on the pill, babes. Chill." She smiled assuringly and you sigh shaking your head. You and her were complete opposites- her full of confidence however you were a mess. No confidence. No body confidence... no dates... no boys... you’ve never had a first kiss or even had a man touch you before... you’ve never been intimate with anyone before— ever. And quite honestly you were afraid to even experience it.

—

“Come on!!”

Anna shouted from downstairs and you stood up after contemplating your life decisions— spraying your perfume all over yourself leaving your face bare from any makeup. You didn’t want any advances being made upon you just because you looked a bit different with makeup on... although you highly doubted that would ever happen. No man wanted to touch you. If for a dare they would but not for any other reason. Or so you thought.

You jog downstairs to where Anna is keys in hand before she smiles grabbing onto your hand and dragging you out of the home intertwining her fingers with yours "it'll be fun girl. Loosen up."

The drive there was fairly fast and you had almost twenty minutes to spare. "We're here too early." You spoke but Anna only shook her head grabbing a present from the back and you raised your brows "it's Jamie's birthday. That's why we were both invited...." your lips parted eyes widening Anna laughing, “you shouldn’t told—“

"Shh y/n. Don't worry. Here." She then shoved a smaller wrapped present into your hands winking at you as relief wrapped around your body. Thank fuck.

You then got out of the car with her, walking with her towards the front door, the door being opened by the familiar dirty blonde who quickly pulled Anna into his embrace hugging her for a little too long to be “just friends” before his eyes turned to you and he smiled. genuinely.

"Didn't think you'd come, y/n. But glad to see you here." He spoke and without even hesitating he pulled you in for a hug your eyes widening at the sudden hug shared between the two of you. You hugged him tenderly, awkwardly almost— not entirely knowing how to act.

"Anna persuaded me. But c'mon.. how could I not come see the birthday boy." You smile awkwardly after pulling back, soon holding the present out for him to take his baby blues smiling as he smiled taking the present from you "well nonetheless- glad you could make it. And thank you… I appreciate it.” You only nod not saying anything else, a slight nervous smile remaining on your lips— Anna purposely elbowing you in the ribs to attempt to loosen you up more her eyes saying it all.

Jamie was way different without all his friends around... he was kind. Real. Genuine. How strange... "c'mon let's go into the living room. We can watch a movie before the others arrive. Would you girls like a drink?"

—

A while passed before eventually more people were filing in, you remained sat on the sofa drink of Pepsi in your hand as you took occasional nervous sips. Anna had been whisked away by Jamie and you were certain they were creating the slight banging noises coming from upstairs... and well... that said something didn't it?

You grimaced just at the thought before shaking your head clearing your throat before you decided to stand up, the living room becoming a major crowded area and so you feeling your anxiousness grow quickly left the area, walking around for a bit before finally stopping stood just in the doorway to the kitchen your fingers grasping onto your Pepsi tighter as you took more sips from it. You exhaled softly leaning into the doorway slightly your brows creasing as you stared at a mixture of young adults and what looked to be literal 16 year olds dancing together... what the fuck? That's not creepy at all… however that became the least of your worries as you suddenly felt a rather warm presence behind you, your stomach fluttering anxiously,

"Excuse me"

You quickly turn around expecting a teenager only to come face to face with dad-like material. Old enough to be a dad... he wasn't a teenager. Your mouth was working faster than your brain as you only managed to stammer over a word before finally backing up "I'm so sorry..."

You smile nervously allowing your eyes to scavenge the man— he had piercing green eyes. Beautiful chestnut brown hair that had slight curls to it on the top and a beautiful smile that showed two pretty dimples. Tattoos were layered up and down his skin, a butterfly one seeming to be on his chest from what you could see. He wore a loose fitting shirt that was unbuttoned at the top revealing some of his toned chest. He was... god like.

"No need to apologise, love." He assured with a smile as he went to walk past you, shoulders brushing momentarily before he stopped glancing over his shoulder looking back at you “you look a bit young to be here..."

He spoke some sort of amusement in his eyes not revealing whether he was toying with you or being genuine. Shyness wrapped around you momentarily before you soon answered in an attempt to stick up for yourself— "I'm twenty two, sir." You speak politely the man fully turning so his body was facing you "you look a bit old to be here." You soon retort as he doesn't respond, instead only raising a brow as if pushing the idea of you telling little white lies to him. "Call me Harry."

"You look a bit old to be here, Harry." You rephrase

His eyes glinted with amusement before he cleared his throat "got off work... decided to come have some fun."

You narrow your eyes at him as if showing you didn’t believe him but really you were poking fun at him… exactly what he was doing with you. “What do you do for work?" You ask noticing the palpable tension that was between you and him. It only seemed to be growing more intense as the seconds went by.

"Surgeon"

He spoke simply and you raised your brows "like plastic surgery? Butt lifts and-"

"No." His words were light and airy as he laughed shaking his head "reconstruction surgery."

"Reconstruction?”

“There seems to be an echo in here.” his tone was playful but still nonetheless he nods to confirm your question but he still saw the curiosity on your face "say someone gets into an accident or— a kid falls off their bike let's say he wasn't wearing any protective gear apart from a helmet. No sleeves. No knee pads... no nothing... if he hits the road and skids down it, his skin is either going to be red and sore or his skin is going to be torn off. There's no exact way we can put that dirty infected and broken skin back onto him so we have to reconstruct the skin somehow..."

Your brows raise in interest "so like take it from somewhere less obvious? The leg.. or something?" You speak and he nods taking a sip of the beverage in his ring covered hand,

"Yeah. I mean my job is to simply make the skin look top condition... in the end it doesn't matter where the skin comes from. If it can stretch far enough to cover the wound then you know... it's good enough."

You hum in response clearly rather interested before you smile "that's interesting..." you study him carefully trying to figure him out. You weren’t sure what was wrong with you but Harry seemed to beckon a different side out of you…

"I didn't think a surgeons "thing" was parties..." you soon murmur

"There's a lot of things you don't think, love. If I remind you quickly we've only just met..." his emerald eyes twinkled with amusement brows raised as he smirked.

Your cheeks immediately flush red and you stare at him slightly dumbfounded a nervous smile forming on your face "sorry" you giggle out Harry only shaking his head as he smiled "I'm just kidding. But you're right... parties aren't places surgeons often involve themselves with.. me particularly" he admitted and just as you were about to say something, a different voice cut mine off— “Hey dad can we order pizza?" Your eyes immediately move to the voice. Jamie. His hair slightly dishevelled some red marks left on his neck. Wonderful. But that barely mattered anymore as you looked at who he was talking to… harry. Your heart immediately stops in your chest. Jamie's dad was Harry. The man you were flirting with. That wasn’t flirting though was it? Your stomach flutters nervously. This absolutely was not happening no way…. Your cheeks were a crimson red colour, your eyes slightly wide and your lips slightly parted and god were you glad Harry’s attention wasn’t on you anymore.

"Jamie there's pizza in the fridge. As your mother said, we cannot afford takeaway right now. Remember?" His voice snapped me back out of your thoughts as you focused back on the handsome man, eyes flicking to look at Jamie.

"But dad there's like 80 people here!" He exclaimed Harry's face remaining calm and unfazed "who invited them?" He spoke Jamie's brows arching "you cannot be serious! Oh my god!" The boy yelled before storming off not saying anything else. Childish much? At this old age? Talking to his father like that? Wow the disrespect.

You look back at Harry only when he speaks— "sorry for his behaviour." He spoke as you remained shocked "it's okay... but... I didn't realise you were his dad..." you admit and he smiles slightly "he took his mothers last name. His mother and I are divorced, you see… he doesn’t exactly like that his mother has gone out for a pamper evening and has left me to look after him.” He explained— so Jamie really did have daddy issues? Huh. Your lips part slightly as you realise what he was saying "oh... that makes sense... i- uhm... wow."

Harry nods "Jamie still holds a grudge against me. It's diff-" harry cuts himself off realising what he was saying to his sons friend before he sighed pinching the bridge of his nose "I apologise... uh..." your eyes snap back up to his eyes from roaming across each of his tattoos “Y/n…” you speak with a small smile "I'm sorry y/n... you've come here to party and-" the way your name rolled off of his tongue so perfectly drove you insane and you weren’t sure why. "No sir..." "Harry." He cuts you off making your cheeks flush red "sorry, no Harry. I came here not on my own accord..." you let out a nervous laugh. "My friend begged me to come. I didn't really want to be here anyway so... it's okay. You're far more interesting than this party anyways." You speak soon realising how weird that sounded your eyes widening, Harry quickly catching on as he let out a small chuckle that sounded like honey to your ears— waving one hand at you to signal you not to worry. Dismissing your concerns. "Don't worry. I know what you mean."

You smile feeling the conversation become dry and although you didn't want to leave you knew you should best go find Anna. "I'll see you around, Harry." You speak with a small smile and he nods his head at you "yes you will. I'll see you around, y/n." He tilted his head at you and you smiled before quickly leaving to go and find Anna. As you made your way through all the dancing bodies your eyes finally locked on Anna who seemed to be totally black out drunk. Already. Great! Another time where you had to look after her for her stupid decisions. Her eyes immediately found yours and she practically jumped up and stumbled towards you, lips smushing against your cheek leaving a nice red lipstick mark “Anna you’re so drunk… you really don’t know when you stop.” You murmur to her, watching Jamie drunk too but sensible enough to remain vigilant assuring you that he could deal with her. You were unsure but eventually accepted it walking back to the kitchen and grabbing another drink, sticking to yourself yet throughout the entire night you felt eyes on you… which was an extremely rare occurrence. But this night— someone couldn’t keep their eyes off of you. He couldn’t.

The night continued on, you didn’t touch a drop of alcohol but eventually nearly everyone was filing out and just as you were about to go and find Anna again a cold hand grabbed a hold of your wrist yanking you harshly back into the kitchen where you were roughly slammed against the kitchen counter a pair of dark brown eyes meeting yours— your breath hitched your eyes wide, drink that was once in your hand now on the floor the liquid spilling out of it,

“You’re so pretty…”

The boys wandering hands began groping at your body “p-please get off of me.”

“P-p-p-p… scaredy cat. Never been touched by someone before hmm?”

Hi words were vile and cruel making your stomach churn. “I—“ you tried to gather your thoughts “I don’t even know you! Get off of me!” “Well my names Evan and your name is Y/n. Correct? You know me just fine babe..” a low chuckle left his lips your eyes widening further as you felt his hand suddenly trailing further down your body,

“Somebody hel—“

“Shut up!” His hand clamped over your mouth as he glared into your eyes “don’t you want to not be a virgin anymore? Isn’t that embarrassing? But it makes sense doesn’t it. Have you taken a look at yourself in the mirror lately?” His words are cruel amusement flickering in his dark eyes your breathing growing laboured as tears formed in your eyes “what? Babe I’m telling you the truth don’t you get that? I just want to help—“

“What the fuck is going on here?” The sudden voice made both yours and Evan’s head snap towards the door the once horrible guy now stumbling back, eyes wide as his eyes remain upon Harry. Your breathing trembled, hands shaking “nothing” “nothing? It didn’t look like nothing.” Harry spat out taking intimidating steps towards Evan “I have half the mind to break your jaw…” “you’d be arrested” Evan spat back, Harry raising his brows “on what terms? Self defence? I saw you touching her. I saw her cry. I heard her scream for help whilst you covered her mouth. Now that isn’t very consensual now is it?” You watched with horrified eyes as Harry was now eye to eye with Evan not touching him whatsoever but the clear domination he had, had Evan pressed into the wall looking scared out of his mind “but you’d be arrested. Assault. bodily harm. Sexual assault… I doubt you’d want to find out anymore of the charges you could face… isn’t that correct Evan?”

But before Evan even said anything the once confident asshole had ran straight past Harry, practically shitting himself.

Harry’s jaw was clenched, tempted to go after him but decided not to knowing he had better things to worry about. You. He attempted to calm himself down before he eventually looked towards you noticing how you remained against the counter— still trembling “y/n…” he took a slow advance towards you and your breath hitched “hey… it’s me. It’s all alright.” His tone was softer than before, extending his hand out towards you his concern clear, and before either of you could’ve prepared yourselves you had practically slammed yourself into him arms wrapped securely around his waist, your fingers curled into the material of his shirt as you trembled his tall figure towering over you as he peered down at you, shaking in his embrace, scarred… he secured both arms around you and pulled you closer to the point your face was smushed completely into his chest the smell of his strong expensive cologne drifting into your senses… he smelt like heaven.

His hand slowly traced up and down your back in a soothing manner. “You’re okay, y/n.” His voice was assuring as he kept a tight grip on you attempting to console you as best as possible yet you refused to let him see your face, remaining practically glued to him. “Is there someone you’d like me to call? Someone to take you home?” He questioned but he didn’t get a response out of you, you were shutting down completely as a flight or fight response. He however didn’t push you, instead wrapping his arm around you again as he began leading your half aware self upstairs walking you into the guest bedroom of the large house— closing the door behind the both of you before he sat you down, your shaking hands rushing to grab onto him again scared he was going to leave…

“I’m here y/n. Right here.” He exhaled softly sitting beside you on the bed, his large hand resting upon your shoulder gently— thumb caressing lightly against the material of your dress his eyes watching the top of your head, you refused to look at him and that saddened him. “Hey…” he reached his free hand out towards you finger pressing underneath your chin as he guided you to look at him your eyes filled to the brim with tears “h-harry..” you whimpered his eyes softening and he without even thinking pulled you in close “I’m here. I’m right here…” “please don’t leave.” He silently shook his head and exhaled softly before he kicked his shoes off, the thump of each one landing on the ground making you realise your friends friend dad was sharing a bed with you… to comfort you of course.

Harry leaned back, tattooed arm being quick to pull you close giving you no choice as he simply pulled you on top of him “i— too heavy—“ you breathed out shakily but that didn’t stop the man from pulling you onto his chest, arms tightly wrapped around you “nonsense. Relax.”

Those two words were the only words he spoke to you, forcing you to relax against him, his hand trailing up and down your back soothingly making sure to give you all the comfort possible. He held you tight not daring to let go of you, his eyes constantly checking on you until he believed you were asleep your breathing much more calmer and quiet, but despite the fact that he knew he could leave… he didn’t want to.

9PM slowly rolled to 11PM until it was 4AM— Harry was still wide awake, eyes however slightly hooded his breathing slow and quiet along with yours. You hadn’t stirred at all you remained silent, Harry stayed convincing himself it was because he was worried you would have a nightmare but he knew it was much more than that. Much more. His eyes tiredly focused on the red digital clock 4:15AM… he never called in sick for work— ever. But if he had to, to look after you then he would. He had spent the time you were asleep trying to figure out his feelings, telling himself how wrong it was… but you ignited something within him. Something he couldn’t quite figure out.

“Harry”

Your morning voice was cute somethings harry noticed immediately. “Y/n.” He responded, voice deep but soft his voice confirming he had stayed there for you. He had protected you… something no other guy had done for you… “what time is it?” You ask him groggily as you slowly force yourself to sit up, Harry’s arms unwrapping from around you “4:19” he spoke simply and you rubbed your eyes letting out a quiet groan your head pounding from the events of last night. You were now sat on top of him, slightly straddling him— innocently so Harry’s eyes searching your face tiredly his hands lazily grasping onto your hips mindlessly. “Can I ask you something personal?” You soon question him, his brows arching flawlessly as he tries to figure out what exactly you meant but nonetheless he nodded his head. “Do guys really not like fat girls?”

The question clearly alarmed him, his eyes readjusting on you before he furrowed his brows “what makes you say that?” He murmured quietly “what he said last night… or what he was hinting at. The reason I haven’t lost my virginity yet is because I’m too fat.” Harry stares blankly for a moment or two before he blinks his eyes a bit of surprise lingering on his face not expecting you to be so honest with him seeing as you had only met last night…

“Y/n that was a boy. A boy looks for magazine cover girls… skinny… big boobs big butts— fake. Edited. A man looks for what’s on the inside. A pretty smile. A pretty personality. What’s on the inside… sure people will have their own preferences…. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t beautiful. Because you are.” His eyes remain glued to yours, searching your face for any look of doubt which he could shut down immediately but there was none detected… only surprise. “I’m beautiful?” He nods silently to confirm your shocked question, a smirk forming on his lips making his dimples appear and your breath hitches as you search his face and in those moments you finally realise the position you were in— legs straddling him, hands touching lightly against his chest your eyes widening slightly “I’m so sorry I-“ “stay.” His voice was stern green eyes staring into yours “what?” Your voice is shocked yet again and he smiles

“Be a good girl and stay.”

You felt your heart pounding wildly in your chest your eyes searching his face “you’re beautiful, y/n… you want to know something?” His hands remain resting upon your hips and you nod hesitantly “yesterday when I met you… I was certain you weren’t as innocent as they say you are… but maybe you are… have you ever touched yourself before?” His words leave you shocked, your cheeks furiously heating up as you stare at him shocked “w-what?” “Have you ever touched yourself?” Your breath hitched feeling him rub soothing circles into your hips your eyes searching his face certain he was toying with you…. To make you feel some sort of hope… or maybe he just felt bad for you and at that thought your heart dropped “Harry I— I don’t need your sympathy please… I—“

“Who said anything about sympathy y/n? Have you touched yourself before? A simple question.” His words made a hot fever like wave flush into your stomach a shaky breath leaving your lips “yes… but…” your mouth got as dry as a bone as you attempted to wrack your brain to not say something stupid. “But…?” He coaxed delicately your eyes snapping to meet his again “but I can’t get what I want.” He quirks a brow and you knew that he knew what you meant. He wasn’t stupid. “It’s embarrassing—“ “oh no it’s not.” His large hand caresses against your cheek, finger tips soon curling around the nape of your neck as he began pulling you closer to him until you were practically inches away from one another…

“It’s okay y/n.”

You search his eyes nervously and he smiles a slight twinkle in his eyes making your stomach flutter with butterflies “life is a learning curve…”

You stare at him expectantly, confused, watching as he smiled “you just haven’t had the right teacher.” His words made your stomach leap as your breath caught in your throat… what did that mean? He was going to teach you? But before you could’ve even asked he had sat himself up, back against the headboard— lips finding yours in a deep sensual kiss his fingers pressed against the nape of your neck keeping you still the kiss getting deeper, more passionate, leaving you breathless— you weren’t even sure you were doing it correctly, Harry pulling back momentarily to look at you “Harry I don’t know how to do this.”

“Don’t worry, love.” His tone was reassuring as he smiled calmly at you. “Just follow my lead.”

His lips attached to yours again his kiss making you dizzy. It was addicting. His hands trailed up and down your sides delicately, before his hands carefully began prying at the hem of your dress guiding it further and further upwards before finally removing it from your body his eyes studying you. He looked at you as if you were a supermodel…

“Lay down.”

His tone was demanding but you still did so. Getting off of him and laying down, left only in your bra and underwear which was highly vulnerable for you but you tried not to stress too much.

He got onto his knees, the bed creaking slightly as he adjusted himself over you, his lips pressing against yours gently as he began kissing down your neck— sucking slightly every so often hearing the sweet sounds that left your mouth “that feel good hm?” You nodded your head gently the simplicity of him kissing your neck drove you absolutely wild your stomach in knots but it felt good. He began trailing kisses down your body, lips pressing softly against your tummy insecurity immediately getting the best of you as you whined attempting to cover up “hey..” he strict voice grabbed your attention “you’re beautiful.” He spoke making you remove your hands which were nervously remaining close to your body. He eventually continued to leave kisses all over until eventually he had reached your thighs his eyes flicking up to meet yours “get comfortable.” He spoke simply watching you grab a few pillows before you laid down comfortably “good girl.”

He peered down just between your thighs— closing his mouth as he sucked in a sharp breath as the sight of you before him… all for him. To devour. To ruin. To make sure you knew your worth… all. For. Him. “If you want me to stop at any point. We can. Understood?” He spoke watching you nod “use your words, Angel.” “Yes Harry.” You spoke shakily and he smiled. Boundaries were always good to have in place. He wanted you to know that you were allowed to have boundaries. You felt the sensation of your panties being slid down your legs, exposing your heat to him— using one single finger to trace up and down your slit a shiver running directly down your spine a low whimper leaving your lips “feels good hm” your breath only hitched no words leaving your mouth as the odd but wonderful sensation soon becomes your favourite thing. His finger didn’t linger too long in any specific place— sliding up and down before mercilessly toying with your clit. Pointer finger delicately tracing around the bud whines and moans leaving your lips as he watched your every reaction as if he was taking an image of the moment in his mind. Not wanting to forget it. “That’s it relax… relax for me y/n.” He praised delicately watching how your body relaxed further into the bed his tongue soon adding to the pleasure, flicking over your clit and all over your body shaking with the new feelings erupting throughout you “feel good angel?”

“Yes sir” a cry of pleasure leaves your lips and for the first time Harry didn’t correct you— instead he smirked, tongue lashing more fervently against your heat.

As your body began to squirm his large hands grasped onto your thighs, holding your still keeping you down for him as he continued flicking his tongue all over your core. “A-ah harry..” you cried out your back arching up off of the bed as an unfamiliar feeling surrounded you— tingles running up and down your body “that’s it… that’s it… oh such a good girl…” incoherent whimpers of his name left your lips until eventually your first orgasm ripped throughout you— Harry moaning, the sound of his moan enticing something within you a look of pride within his eyes “good girl.” He smiled genuinely as you panted, attempting to calm yourself down. He repositioned himself on his knees his hand beginning to trace up and down your arm slowly and carefully soothing you, allowing you to catch your breath your hands working before your brain as you reached out towards his jeans— his ring covered hands immediately stopping your hands,

“Ah ah impatient our we?”

A smirk tugged at his lips “please.” You spoke and he studied you carefully “tell me.” He spoke tenderly “tell me what you want to do?” One hand traced up to your cheek which he caressed gently, thumb brushing over your lower lip delicately “make you feel good…” you murmured softly Harry quirking a brow at your innocence but he decided not to pry. Instead he nodded “are you sure?”

He watched you nod your eyes meeting his again “you’re my teacher right?”

He smirked slightly and let out a low chuckle before he only nodded. Allowing you to undo his jeans as he leaned back. His length was hard— his hand immediately beginning to rub up and down your eyes watching him carefully “see what I’m doing?” He spoke, you nodding. “You do that.” You slowly took over your hand beginning to pump up and down, his head leaning backwards eyes rolling into the back of his head slightly and the more comfortable you got the more quick your pace grew “you’re doing it darling… you’re doing great.” He praised breathy moans continuing to leave his lips— he continued guiding you until his hand was in your hair, helping you as your mouth began hollowing out around him, tongue swirling around the tip— doing everything almost naturally Harry’s groans and moans growing louder

“Fuck y/n your mouth feels so good… fuck!”

His grip tightened on your hair helping move your head up and down until eventually his cock twitched and his orgasm wrapped around him his moans gravelly and beautiful driving you insane making you want more… desperate for more… greedy for more… and as he pulled you up and off of him by the hair his eyes were glazed over with hunger “fuck… you felt so fucking good.” He spoke clearly feeling the same. Just as hungry for more his hand coming to caress against your cheek lightly your eyes showing your hunger into which his thumb stroked against your lower lip “next time.” Next time? His eyes searched your face and he smirked slightly “next time when we’re alone in the house I’ll teach you some more.. but for now… we don’t want to get caught do we?” He smirked slightly before shaking his head chuckling slightly “you did so good.” He pulled you in for a light kiss a little confident grin tugging at your lips…

“Learnt from the best.” You whispered his green eyes glowering into yours as he grinned keeping a hold on you… it was very clear neither of you were forgetting each other anytime soon.

I hope this was okay and you enjoyed it! I kinda just went with the flow rather than with an actual idea in my head so I hope it isn’t awful… I haven’t written smut in a while so excuse it if it’s bad… anyways more stories coming hopefully soon! Thanks for reading loves!!

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 7 months

Note

Because it looks like you’re already losing it do you have any extra thoughts on his voice lines? Mystery Shop Translations has them!

[Referencing this post!]

Yes, I know Mystery Shop TLs has the deets 👀 I'm the one that requested Rollo's voice lines dhabydsbiosaivfbifsan

To avoid spoiling anyone that hasn't had the chance to read his voice lines yet, I'll place my thoughts on them below the cut.

First thing's first! It seems like Rollo will be staying at NRC for a short amount of time. It’s disrupting the daily routine he usually has, so I wonder how he’ll adapt…? Apparently, this is because he has come to study at NRC for a brief period. So maybe there's some kind of student exchange program meaning we may get other "special" students in the future...

Rollo sounds SO unhappy (but in an emotionally-repressed way) when he says he would prefer not to step foot onto NRC campus. TOO LATE BUDDY YOU'RE STUCK WITH US WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT 🤡

QDBIUBSOYFVQE8FO8EQEFANOQEUTQEP OKAY, HE STARTS OFF STRONG... Just another monologue about he's going to be the one to create a just world and punish evildoers, how NRC is a place where evildoers dwell and how he has to observe them carefully... The usual Rollo talking points 😭 His Groovy line references the Just Judge and really shows how big of an ego Rollo has???? Like he's going to impart upon you "proper virtuous behavior"... BRO, I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT FROM SOMEONE WHO WAS PLANNING TO ENGULF THE WORLD IN FLOWERS THAT SUCK OUT ALL THE MAGIC

On the topic of "proper virtuous behavior", I like that we get subtle hints of Rollo actually pushing for this in his lines. It shows us that he actually does think he knows what's best for others and has very particular expectations for what is "good and just" behavior (even thinking that he leads by example). For example, Rollo advises that Yuu "fulfill their duty to their utmost", something which he also prides himself on. Additionally, he commands Grim in their Duo Magic to do as he says, to which of course Grim protests, saying that he doesn't want to be ordered around. Rollo also frowns on Idia's use of an electronic tablet as a substitute for attending classes in person, calling it "laziness beyond reproach".

I find it hilarious that Rollo is SO angry at Malleus that he describes even the general area that Malleus resides in and the mirror that leads there as "absolutely repulsive". HIS HATE BONER FOR MALLEUS WILL NEVER DIE... Even funnier when you realize Rollo is (relatively) neutral toward Azul and only slightly negative about Idia (the other two SSR boys responsible for his downfall). Rollo even expresses curiosity about the Mostro Lounge (and I fully intend to write a fic with this premise in mind, it's just TOO good to pass up)! Both Idia and Azul are referred to as “[first name]-kun” whereas Malleus is referred to vaguely (“that man”) or just has his full name shouted 😭

It's... surprisingly cute??? That he compliments the quality of Trein's lessons. I wish we had more of Rollo's thoughts in this regard, because I feel like he's keeping a lot of his more detailed thoughts locked away. (Notice also that he calls Trein by first-name basis, “Mozus-sensei”.)

Noble Bell College doesn't have dormitories, which makes sense. It is stated in canon to be a much smaller school than NRC, so I'd imagine the student population is also smaller and thus having multiple dormitories to accommodate them all wouldn't be necessary. Laughing at the fact that Rollo just casually dunks on Ramshackle's name though 😭 I MEAN, HE AIN'T WRONG... The place was a bit of a dump before the renovations...

It's really interesting that Rollo continues to express a preference for "relaxing" places; he comments that he loves the Mirror Chamber because it's quiet and he finds it charming. There's also the previously mentioned interest in Azul's cafe, as well as a remark about the knowledge that NRC's library has. It makes me think he can be quite contemplative, although perhaps he doesn't direct his energy toward the most positive emotions at times.

In spite of all of this, the voice lines also maintain a sort of "distance" to them, which I love. This is most obviously seen in the voice line where Rollo asks Yuu if they need something since they were acting overly familiar with him. Rollo indicates that he believes Yuu mistook him for someone else. He doesn't seem to have friends, nor desire them, even if they're of a non-mage persuasion like Yuu. There continues to be this lingering sense of uneasiness and distrust between him and his peers, even when others like Yuu, the gargoyles, his aide and vice president, make an effort to reach out to him. HE JUST WANTS TO EXPLODE PEOPLE WITH HIS MIND, THIS ICY NeUTRALiTY IS tHE NICEST THIS MAn CaN MUSTER/j It really suits Rollo's character to refuse to properly "integrate" with NRC. He's also very actively avoiding making certain decisions which would prompt him to return to the campus, like not checking out any library books even though he's truly entranced by the information the NRC Archives hold. It implies that Rollo is, to some extent, being held back from his full potential because of how he walls himself off from others. He thinks of his own NBC classmates as noisy and stupid, wishes to remove the gargoyles, actively tries to spend time alone as often as possible, and hates on the community goats (bro was about to send one FLYING but decided against it only because there were too many potential witnesses). He doesn’t open up to his own parents about his feelings ever since the fire and claims that others cannot understand how he feels. Rollo has isolated himself 💀

Even his level-up line (not in Mystery Shop TL's post, but I still want to bring it up) is not friendly at all. In fact, Rollo acts suspicious of Yuu's friendship and demands that they come clean about their "true intentions". He then says that if You is actually being genuine, that's actually more bothersome than if they had been deceptive to him all along. He pities them for their circumstances, yes (being a non-mage constantly having to deal with the shenanigans of the wicked mages around them), but that doesn't equate to friendship or feeling "close" with Yuu. Rollo does not allow others to get close, he does not know what friendship is and nor does he seemingly want it or care for it.

Rollo draws a very strong divide between himself and those he labels as "villains" , as well as literally everyone else he encounters. That is, ironically, muddying his relationships and potential for self-actualization when he sees himself as a “savior” of sorts for people.

Overall, I really enjoyed this set of voice lines! It gives us more of what we really love about Rollo's personality without spoiling the events of Glorious Masquerade for those who haven't read it yet. My only complaint would be that I'm getting greedy and want even more Rollo content now, just these voice lines alone isn't enough to sate me anymore/j 😂

#twst #twisted wonderland #Rollo Flamme #disney twisted wonderland #spoilers #notes from the writing raven #question #Malleus Draconia #Idia Shroud #Azul Ashengrotto #Grim #Yuu #Mozus Trein

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girlactionfigure · 4 months

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Israel journalist @Roi_Yanovsky just published an amazing piece in Hebrew about what Gaza is REALLY like, based on his personal observations there. Here is an English translation that you NEED to read🧵

100 reserve days officially ended yesterday. Some initial insights:

1. Gaza is seen as a backward area, the "most densely populated in the world" which has been under Israeli "siege" for years. There is no bigger lie than this. Gaza is a modern, beautiful, developed city, with large modern houses, wide boulevards, public spaces, a promenade

by the sea and parks. Looks much better than any other Arab city from the Jordan to the sea, much more similar to Tel Aviv than to Kfar Qasim or Umm Al Fahem. And of course it is very far from being "the densest in the world".

2. If it's a siege, let me live in a siege. the houses are bursting with goods and food from all countries of the Middle East, latest furniture, electronics and whatnot. There are also luxurious mansions that wouldn’t embarrass Savion and Kfar Shemariahu (rich areas in Israel)

There is absolutely no shortage of wealth in Gaza. In general, most of the houses I've been in were much bigger than the apartment I live in in Tel Aviv. The sentence "If only they had a chance for a good life, they wouldn't fight in Israel" is simply not relevant to Gaza.

3. The most common thing in the houses of the Gaza Strip: a map of the Land of Israel the heading "Map of Palestine". There is no mention of Israel or Israeli towns in general. And it is found in almost every home, in every school and in every public institution, the goal of

erasing the State of Israel is neither hidden nor suppressed, it is almost everywhere. The historical distortion of this map which is taught from age 0 is a topic for another discussion that only emphasizes the distorted perception of reality by the residents of Gaza.

4. In all the neighborhoods we were in, there are ready-made Hamas combat complexes - weapons, tunnels, charges, launching complexes, all inside residential houses, some of which are also prepared with openings in the walls for passing between buildings and what not.

The residents of the Gaza Strip who live in the combat zones know this, they have received countless notices to evacuate. Long before the IDF entered. IDF announcements are still there everywhere. Those who decided to stay in the fighting areas are either Hamas members in

various positions or people who consciously decided to stay in the areas used by Hamas for fighting, for their own reasons.

5. Hamas members rarely walk around armed. They are neither stupid nor suckers. They know they won't be shot if they go in "civilian" guise.

They prepare the weaponry ahead of time at the entrances to the buildings and arm themselves just a moment before they attack. That’s why the fighting is much more complex than any other arena. those judge from the outside why soldiers shot X or didn’t shoot Y -

enter Gaza for a week or 2 and you’ll return with insights. 6. The circle enabling Hamas is much larger than its tens of thousands of terrorists. The ideology of Hamas is found in almost every home, in pictures, in propaganda materials. Hamas in Gaza is like Messi in Argentina.

7. The strengthening of Hamas at this level requires active assistance of a population. There is no way that the residents of the compounds where we located rockets and weapons did not know that the place is used as a launching complex where they try to massacre Israelis daily.

And I find it hard to believe that the parents in the kindergarten where there was a tunnel shaft do not know this. Who chooses to send their children to a kindergarten that serves as a terrorist infrastructure?

8. Hamas's strongest weapon is lies and propaganda. It's his fuel. This is how you will maintain the "siege" lie for years, this is how they are doing now with the photos of the innocent victims and the killing of the "journalists" who turn out to be terrorist operatives.

Gaza is the only place in the world where 500 deaths are reported half an hour after an explosion. Even in earthquakes and heavy disasters it takes the rescue forces a few days to identify and estimate the number of dead, but the Palestinian Ministry of Health already knows

a minute after the explosion what the damage is. This is ridiculous and the world media quoting the numbers as living words of God is pathetic. I would attribute the same level of credibility to the reports this week about "hunger" in Rafah.

Unroll available on Thread Reader (Hebrew)

ShipofTheseus

@JewishSpaceLazr

#Israel #October 7 #HamasisISIS #Gaza #Reality

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weenwrites · 10 months

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Hello! Just finished reading your Rachet soulmate au post. I loved it!🧡🧡🧡 Could you do one for Starscream too?🥺🥺🥺

Soulmate AU Part 2

Summary - In a world where people are bound by destiny to meet their soulmate, how would a cybertronian react to learning their soulmate is a human from Earth? Characters - Starscream Content - Angst, Fluff Category - Headcanons Trigger Warnings - None

✎ A/N: Sure thing! Also I'm real happy to know you enjoyed the previous ones I did!

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

First Words/Soulmate's Name: Starscream would come to the realization that his S/O was most likely an alien from another planet, and he did have a couple expectations. That the universe would match him with someone whom he'd consider worthy, but he's heard about other peoples' soulmates and how they're sometimes a disaster or how sometimes someone's soulmate is the person you'd least expect, but he still can't help but get his hopes up.

He used to bear his soulmark so very proudly, (also in hopes that it would help him find his soulmate quicker) so you can imagine how upset he is when he discovers his soulmate is a human. Other bots aboard the Nemesis would occasionally mock and ridicule him for being destined to a human soulmate, so much so that he now hides it and actively tries to avoid meeting his potential soulmate by staying away from human populated areas.

He tries to keep himself and his potential soulmate from ever meeting, no matter the cost, and no matter how much other people tell him that he can't stop something that's fated to be, it doesn't deter him from trying in the slightest.

A Beautiful Flourish of Color/Something Else: He'd have absolutely no idea that his soulmate was a human, so even after he came to Earth, he wouldn't hide it out of shame. But he would worry over loosing it or the possibility that it would get damaged, so he tries to take care of himself the best he can (which he always has, ever since he learned he was destined to have a soulmate).

How it Goes: The first meeting, no matter where or when it happens, never goes well. No matter how nice you seem, or how friendly you are towards him, he holds so much resentment towards you—despite not knowing you—that he's the one who ruins the first meeting. If, for some reason you stick around, and he sees you frequently, he always acts so snappy and gives you an attitude, more than he does anyone else. It'll take a long time for him to even consider giving you a chance, and whether you meet before or after his encounter with M.E.C.H. will make it harder to get close to him.

He tries to avoid you like the plague, but chances are that Megatron's decided to punish him by assigning him as your guardian and you as his charge, so he can't really stay away from you. Not when he's now responsible for your general safety. He's thought of trying to get rid of you, but Megatron made it clear that he has to keep you alive unless he wants to be punished.

He'll give you an attitude, he'll poke and cringe at you, and he'll point out how much he despises you. He does you the bare minimum by giving you even a crumb of his time, and he complains about how 'needy' you are. You might have even heard him talking to Knockout, ranting about how much he hates the universe for offloading onto him the burden that is watching after you.

If you keep on trying to befriend him, he happens to warm up to you in time. How this happens, he does not know, but he seems more open to talking to you than he was in the beginning. Although, he's still as snappy and rude at times, so it may seem like hardly anything's changed between the two of you.

The more he learns about you, the more he truly begins to open up and be less harsh and rude. And the closer he grows, the more he regrets all the things he's said and done. Only in private does he become more vulnerable and open with you, and only then will he understand why Primus gifted you to him.

#tfp imagines #tfp headcanons #tfp x reader #tfp starscream #starscream x reader #x reader #reader insert #self insert #weenwrites

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justroaminground · 9 months

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upside down (Sam Winchester X Reader)

so this one is a bit different. it is a mini-scenario as i like to call it! no smut just fluff. watching movies, series or listening to music gives me those scenarios and that was one of it and i thought why not put it out in the world.

plot: so you're a witch (kinda rowena inspired) and help sam out, safe dean. you end up pregnant by sam and thing's take a turn.

enjoy my mini-scenario! :)

(sooooorrryy for mistake in advance)

___________________________________

shaky fingers clawed into the piece of plastic in your hand. on the little screen it said one word, which put your whole world upside down.

"pregnant"

reading it out in disbelief it felt even more wrong. for solid 10 minutes you simply stared the positive pregnancy test down. waiting for it to change, but no matter how long you were waiting, the result won't change.

you were pregnant.

it wasn't like you're 20 and had a huge problem to tell your mom and dad.

absolutely not.

the problem was, you were a 312 year old witch, pregnant by a hunter. well that sounded like a really bad love/drama with the only twist, it was real to you.

roaming the world for the past centuries you made the best out of it and stayed undercover. you were banned from the one and only huge coven and had to stay undercover or else you would have been killed.

now that a lot has changed since then, you decided to get back to work and follow the one and only dream you had. being the queen of hell. on the way there you had to face some major obstacles, but nonetheless you made it. still not the queen of hell, but you were getting there.

a few months back you decided to help sam, safe his brother from the mark of cain. it took the winchesters quiet some time to get the book of the damned, but they made it. hearing all the stories about them, you weren't really surprised to hear they got it. even though there were some really bad things roaming heaven, earth and hell, the winchesters had a name, which they protected.

you decided for yourself to stay away from them, only to be summoned by sam himself one day. he trapped you and made you help him or else he'd kill you. since you were on your own and you knew there could be some obstacles waiting for you, reaching your goal of being the queen of hell, you decided to help him out, in return of him having to help you out if you were in need. he agreed and from there on it happened.

you've settled in a old house about an hour from the bunker and had everything you needed to translate the book of the damned. from time to time, sam joined you and supported you. he brought snack's, you two had many late night talks and one thing lead to the other and you two grew together. one night thing's just got out of hand and before you knew it, you woke up in his arms the next morning.

this was about 2 months ago and it was the one and only time every you got intimate with him. both of you knew, this wouldn't have a future. sam from the beginning on, let you know, if you screwed him over he'd kill you without any hesitation. he also mentioned that, if dean found out, he'd track you down and probably kill you aswell. nonetheless sam had a sweet spot for you and you knew that.

looking back you couldn't wrap your head around, why you even said yes to that, but it must have been the risk. no risk no fun, right?

well, there you had your risk. slowly coming back from your trans, you felt tears filling up your eyes and weren't able to explain, how this was even possible?! how were you able to get pregnant?

you weren't intimate in ages with anyone, because you never felt something like attraction or the need of closeness. but with sam it was just different. he made you feel so many emotions at once , gave you the feeling of being important and even made you more human again. it was a deeper connection you felt towards him and you knew he felt the same, but both of you held back. knowing that if you were to close, the separation would hurt even more. there was only one way, why you got pregnant from him. sam being your soulmate. it was the only opportunity of being able to even welcome a baby as a witch. the only way to get pregnant was, if the partner you were getting intimate with was your soulmate.

you threw the pregnancy test into the trash can in the bathroom and went back into the kitchen. on the kitchen table were all the book's, notes and stuff from translating the book of the damned. your eyes looked around the room and you shook your head, still not believing what you just found out. tears rolled down your cheeks sobbing to yourself.

"this just can't be it.." you whispered to yourself, trying to pull yourself together.

walking over to the long mirror in the hallway you pulled up your shirt and looked at your belly. holding your shirt up with your chin, you laid both hands on your tummy, feeling and watching it from all angles. nothing's visible of course. you did have a small tummy but you always had that, soft and squishy.

hearing a knock on the door, you jumped shocked aside and quickly pulled your shirt down.

"hey y/n! it's me!" sam's well-know voice, echoed through the door.

"fuck fuck fuck" you whispered to yourself and check yourself in the mirror. fixing everything you could in the short amount of time you had and took a deep breath. before opening the door you put on the best fake smile you had and swung it open.

"a rare visit we have here!"

"i know, i know." sam laughed and walked past you into the house. "thing's have been busy. you know dean's just not himself.." he continued and you closed the door.

"no worries, that's what i thought" you gave him a warm and understanding smile. for a moment both of you just stood there, when he finally moved over and took you in a long and loving hug.

"are you okey?" sam whispered into your hair and softly stroke along your back.

you simply nodded against his chest, not wanting to go any deeper into the topic. his simple presence gave you butterflies in your tummy and you already felt way better. funny how someone made you feel so many things's after centuries of not feeling a thing. for a few minutes the two of you just stood there arm in arm and he gently pulled away.

"are you sure..?" slight worry was seen in his features and he stroke a few strands of hair aside.

"yes, i was just up late the past few nights.." you explained to him, not even lying. well not really. you did stay up late, but it just wasn't the real reason you felt the way you do.

"well, i am here today and i will stay until tomorrow! need to catch up with all the hours i stayed away!" he smiled and clapped into his hands.

you raised an eyebrow and couldn't hide a laugh. "well sammy, quiet late!" walking past him, you made your way into the kitchen and took a note from the table. hearing the heavy footsteps behind you, you knew he was following you closely.

raising the note you looked at him and smiled. "in my hand, i have the three ingredients for the spell."

his face got all serious and his jaw clenched. his hand reached for the note, but you pulled it away.

"ah, ah, ah samuel" you told him in a warning tone and hid it behind your back.

"y/n!" his eyes got serious immediately, stepping closer.

"i want to hear our deal again." stepping another step back, you hit the kitchen counter with your lower back.

"stop playing games, or do i have to remind you of your job?" sam warned. when it came down to the spell, things got more serious and he was easily triggered.

"what's the deal sam!" you asked calmly again.

his hands rolled into fists and it took a moment for him to answer. "immunity from us."

"exactly." you breathed out, with a huge smirk on your face and handed him the note.

his eyes flew hungry over the note and he right away took his phone out. dialing a number. it beeped a few times and he left you standing there in the kitchen.

loving moments with him, sometimes ended like there was never more, but both of you were pretty good at hiding what you really felt.

a few minutes later he came back and put the note back onto the table. he leaned with both hands down onto the table and exhaled in relief.

"a friend will get the thing's and by tonight we can do the ritual."

"what friend?" you asked and walked over to him, letting yourself down onto a chair.

"doesn't matter."

"i thought we were kinda..close?" hesitantly you took one of his hands into yours and squeezed it gently.

"that's the problem" he gave you a look and you were able to see he was hurt.

"all i wanted was to safe dean, no matter the consequences, but i am just not willing to lose you at any cost. same with dean. i am torn between the two of you and i can't stand this any longer y/n" he continued and pulled his hand out of your grip.

"what are you trying to say?" not really sure of what he was up to you looked at him confused.

"after we've done the ritual tonight, we have to stay apart from each other."

"what?!" quickly you got up. "i get it we may not have the apple pie life like the normal kids, but aren't we worthy of someone in their life?! aren't we worthy of feeling the way we make eachother feel?!"

sam stroke through his hair and shook his head in desperation. "don't make things harder y/n. if dean get's a hint of what is going on here, he won't hesitate for a minute. he'll track you down and-"

"kill me." you cut him off and nodded. it wasn't the first time, the two of you talked about that, but it was the first time, you weren't able to ignore the risk of dying. you weren't alone anymore you had someone to keep safe. therefore you stayed quiet and turned away from him. tears rolled down your cheeks but you stayed completely silent.

sam kept quiet himself and simply hugged you from behind. pressed you needy against his body and placed a sweet kiss on your neck. "you mean to much to me. i don't want to lose you. i prefer to think you're happy out there, than dead somewhere burned. i am not saying we aren't allowed to meet every again, i am just saying we need to keep our distance for a while."

enjoying the past few hours with sam around, like he used to be, you soaked it all up. that night the ritual was done and sam as well as castiel stayed with dean in the bunker. you never knew how it went down, but you remember sam's words and took of. you packed your few belongings and moved on.

----

two months passed and you lived in a motel in nevada. being pregnant kinda changed you into taking more care of the risks you took. therefore you stopped hunting down your goal of being the queen of hell. you sat back and took more care after yourself. of course you still practiced your witchcraft, but in a very different way. you jobbed at a nearby hospital and helped the people heal.

you haven't heard from sam in a while, but thought of him every night. during the daytime it was easy to keep yourself busy, but laying there in bed. all to yourself, your thoughts circled around him. wondering how he is doing, what he is doing, what it would be like if he was here, what he'd think of the baby and much more. the only reason you were able to handle the situation of staying away from him so well, was because you carried his baby with you. so kind of a part of him never left you.

your fingertips stroke softly over the skin of your belly and you felt how your tummy has gotten harder. it used to be more soft and squishy. now it was firm and when you were wearing something more figure hugging it was visible you were pregnant. you loved your little baby belly. with every month your belly grew you accepted the fact that you would raise the baby all by yourself.

almost falling asleep a shrilly sound of our phone woke you up. tired you grabbed it from the other side of the bed and tried to read who it was. not being able to make out who it was, you just figured out it had to be someon from the hospital and simply answered the phone.

"it better be a emergency sarah!" a tired laugh left your lips and you rolled to the side.

"i am not sarah, but it indeed is a emergency." a well to known voice echoed through the phone and your eyes widened.

you quickly sat up and felt your heart race against your chest. "s-sam?"

"i'm sorry, if i disturbed, but i need you" he explained and by the sound of his voice, you could tell he wasn't well.

"tell me where and i'll be there."

"thank's." sam whispered and with that he hung up.

not thinking a second of it you jumped out of bed and got ready. putting on a dress aswell as some tights. you threw a jacket over it and packed your important things, already leaving the house. by the time you reached the car, he sent you the location of the bunker and you drove there. it took you a few hours, which felt like forever since you didn't knew what was going on, your mind created thousands of scenarios.

reaching the bunker, sam let you in and you couldn't help but fall into his arms. you hugged him tightly against your body and buried your face in his chest. inhaling the well known scent of him. his strong arms held you closely against his body and both of you stayed like this for a few minutes.

not knowing if you were allowed to talk you just looked up at him and stroke gently over his cheek. a loving smile on your lips took in every feature of his.

"good to see you, up and healthy" he whispered quietly and placed a small kiss on your forehead.

"missed you too." you answered and nodded.

"please.." he gestured you the way and he took the bag from you.

you made your way downstairs and at the bottom of the stairs one man was waiting. right away you were able to tell, he wasn't human, but couldn't make out what he was. sam followed closely behind you and walked trough the hall, placing your bag on the table.

"cas meet y/n!" sam talked into the mans direction.

"hello y/n" the man said and looked at you from head to toe. "i am castiel. an angel of the lord." he continued.

your eyes widened. "a-an angel of the lord?" you repeat in disbelief and looked from castiel to sam, which joined the two of you.

"yeah.." sam chuckled a bit and nodded. "cas has been thorough a lot with us and is literally family.." sam continued.

"still a weirdo though!" another voice added and you looked into the direction the voice came from. a tall man, not as tall as sam, but tall. brown short hair, green eyes and a bright smile on his face.

"so this is the one and only witch?!" he came closer and switched his gaze from sam to cas. stopping right in front of you.

Looking you up and down with a very suspicious look on his face. dean turned to sam with a chuckle and shook his head. "never!"

"dean." sam gave dean a warning look and took a deep breath. "she's one of the oldest witches. y/n was able to survive all these years unnoticed and is our last chance to read the book of the damned." sam explained as calm as possible.

dean turned back to you again and sighted. "if you screw us over.." he moved his hand to his belt and lifted his flannel. revealing a gun. "you're dead" seriousness in his eyes made you shiver under his gaze and you swallowed hard. back then you would have started a fight right away, but not now. not now, risking the baby being hurt.

"dean calm down!" castiel puut one hand on his shoulder and pulled him back.

"n-no it's fine i get it.." you spoke up shaky and smiled nervously.

sam gave you a warm smile and you were able to read the sorry across his face. "let me update you on the case.." not being able to answer, sam pulled you away to the table which was covered in books.

"uhm..wow this already looks exhausting" you chuckled and sat down.

while sam updated you about the new case, castiel and dean still stood there and whispered about something. you were sure they were talking about you, but you didn't show any reaction towards it. you would work this case through with them and leave just as fast as you came. maybe spent some special time with sam, but nothing more.

"y/n?" sam's voice brought you back into reality and you looked at him a bit surprised.

"uhm..sorry! the drive was pretty long and..uhm well i am a bit all over the place i guess.."

"you're right where are my manners! i'll get you something to drink!" sam excused himself and quickly left the room.

looking over to the place cas and dean stood, they were gone. where were they?! you moved in your chair, feeling a bit uneasy, when cas finally came into the room.

"dean is sometimes very suspicious about new people." cas just stood there awkwardly and looked at you blankly.

"well i think i understand.." with a nervous smile you turned a bit into his direction.

"there is something off with your...aura" cas spoke out very randomly and tilted his head.

"sorry..?" looking at him in confusion.

"it's like there are two? like a little one in your..usual one?" cas tried to explain what he saw and you were able to tell by his gaze, he was literally studying you.

was he able to see the baby's aura?! was this even possible? would he even feel it?! quiet nervous about these thoughts you swallowed hard and cleared your throat.

"oh, uhm i was always told i am something special" nervously you laughed and turned back to the table.

sam appeared back in the room, joined by dean and the two sat down at the table with you.

"cas stop being weird and scaring our visitor." sam told cas and pointed to the chair.

"sorry." cas said and sat down.

sipping at your tea you listened carefully to sam and dean. by removing the mark off dean, you've released the darkness, which caused a whole lot of problems. you knew there was a price to it, but you never knew it would be this big. their hope was to find a spell in the book of the damned to lock the darkness away. that was the part you had to support them.

"so..do you think you can help us with that?" sam asked hopefully and smiled.

"i removed the mark off dean, releasing the darkness so it is my duty to find a way out of this." you nodded your head slightly and looked at the three of them. "it is the right thing to do..right?" a warm smile appeared on your lips.

you were able to see how the tension was released, after you said that and you looked at dean. he took another sip of his whiskey and took a deep breath, leaning his upper body forward, supporting his weight on his elbows, fingers on his chin.

"what's in it for you?" his low voice and strong gaze made you nervous again and you looked down into your cup.

looking back up at dean, you met his gaze again. "i just don't want to die."

dean raised and eyebrow and was quiet confused about that.

"what?"

"you heard me right. i just don't want to die." you said again.

"so no "queen of hell", "being the baddest witch alive" or whatever blah blah?!"

"dean just take her answer?!" being annoyed by dean's behavior, sam raised his voice a bit and looked at dean.

"really sammy?! are you that stupid?!" dean got louder and stood up in one shot. "you're telling me this is one of the strongest witches and her behavior is all vanilla and she doesn't want to die?! do you even listen to her?!" anger wore down on his body. his hands were balled into fists.

you knew exactly what he meant. you never behaved like that, but right now you had to. there was no way, you would risk the health of the baby, but you also understood why they didn't believe you.

before sam was able to shoot back, you got up and raised your voice.

"during the past few months, a lot has happened. i don't ask you do understand any of that, but like i said, the only thing i want is to live. i am not screwing you over." laying your eyes on dean, it only confirmed he was still not impressed. he stood there at the table and simply looked at you.

being to quick for anyone to react he grabbed your neck and pressed you down onto the table. sam and castiel shot up in shock and immediately tried to calm dean down. a hurtful squeal left your mouth and you didn't move a bit.

"dean what the fuck stop it!" sam rushed around the table and dean held his hand up, gesturing sam to stop as well as castiel. both of them stopped in their tracks and complete silence filled the room.

"i am giving you this one last chance, to tell us what your plan is and why you're helping us so willingly, or i will torture it out of you" his raspy voice filled the room and his fingertips buried their way into your neck.

another gasp left your mouth and tear swelled up in your eyes. "please i am begging you, s-"

"answer my god damn question!" dean raised his voice and you were able to see that sam was on and about to jump at dean, if he made one more move.

"i-i'm expecting a baby" you whispered quietly.

dean's hand immediately moved from you and pulled you back up. he turned you to look at the three of them and you took a sharp breath in.

sam's face went pale and the shock was written all over his face. all the thing's he wanted to ask were written all over his face, but he had to hold them back. dean nodded slightly and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"sorry..i-..you know we don't get this a lot.." dean tried to explain his actions and sighed.

simply nodding in response you pushed the chair aside and slowly sat back down. "i was surprised too.." you laughed insecure and looked at cas. his face lit up, because now it made sense why he saw two auras instead of just one.

the three sat back again and silence filled the room. sam supported his chin on his hand and the elbow of his arm on the table. staring absent on the table. dean leaned back in the chair and scratched his neck, rethinking his action and castiel just sat there and looked at sam and dean. before the awkwardness grew you cleared your throat and spoke up.

"so..uhm we need a spell to lock the darkness away right..?"

"yes!" dean quickly nodded.

"is there anything we..already know?"

"no not really..dean was the only one seeing her.." sam added and looked at dean.

"her? so..the darkness is a woman?" you laughed and looked at them.

"i was just as surprised!" cas added and shrugged his shoulders.

dean just nodded and you thought about that for a minute. "all i learned about the darkness was that, she was looked away before any life happened on earth. she never got in touch with anything we know." you explained.

"well explains why there is hardly anything about the darkness anywhere.." dean sighted.

"i will head off and check some of my possibilities." cas told you and right when he finished, he disappear.

you jumped slightly and looked back at sam and dean. "still have to get used to that.." you laughed slightly.

"you never will!" dean added with a small smile. "uhm..i am really sorry for what i just did.."

"it's okey. sam and cas are probably the only ones you have and you want to protect them." you calmed dean with a smile and rested your hand on your tummy. "i feel the same." you added.

you were able to tell that dean was very sorry for what he just did. his fingers reached for his glass and he took the last sip of his whiskey. "i feel like we should just rest for the night and continue tomorrow. the guy right here is in his dream already!" dean laughed and patted sam on the shoulder. "so let's head to the rooms. you're is the second on the left, right before the kitchen, bed is made and everything you need is there." dean said and went off into his room.

which left the two of you alone in the room. you felt the anxiety creep up in your body and looked at sam. his gaze was still on the table and his jaw was clicking. his breath was heavier and you were able to tell by his posture he was about to say something. he just didn't knew how.

"how?" he spoke up and his voice cracked.

"i don't know.." you answered confidently. you knew exactly how this was possible, but you knew how overwhelming it already was for him to know that you're pregnant. you didn't want to completely shock him and tell him witches were only able to get pregnant by their soulmate. that was a fact you weren't able to handle yourself properly.

"is it.." he stopped in the middle of his sentence and inhaled deeply. it looked like he thought about his question again. "is it mine..?"

you just knew this was going to come sooner or later, but you hoped it wouldn't. nonetheless the situation was here. "yes without a doubt. you were the only man in..ages i got intimate with.." the last few words were just whispers.

sam let out a tone you weren't able to identify. his hands stroke over his face and he buried his fingers in his hair. resting his head for a long moment in his hands.

you got up and checked the hallway, before moving over to his side. you stopped at his chair and rested your hands on his shoulders. "see, i don't know how to calm you down. i was just as confused, concerned and just scared as you are right now. but if it helps, nothing changes. i am working this case and i will leave again. you won't notice anything you don't have to care about me..well us"

he moved slowly and he was all over the place. he just looked at you and back down at your belly and back up at you. "i'm sorry i don't know what to say.." he whispered out and shook his head. "i never thought i'd find myself in a situation like this.."

you couldn't help, but laugh. "well..me neither" you confirmed and sat down next to him.

a small smile formed on his lips. "it's not like i never thought about it. it's just that..you know this life.."

you cut sam off and took his hands into yours. "you don't have to explain anything sam. i know just exactly what you mean. nonetheless it is what it is right now."

you just nodded and squeezed his hands tightly. once again he looked at your belly.

"what month..? i am not able to..you know, see the belly." he explained a bit insecure.

"the 4th month. i am just pretty good at hiding it.." you smiled and looked down at yourself. you pulled the dress a bit tighter and a tummy made itself noticeable. a whole lot of emotions overcame you and even though it felt completely wrong you loved it. you loved being pregnant, you loved sharing this with sam and him being the father. there was no way out no and to your surprise you didn't even wanted a way out. it was the part of you, you fought with for the longest time. being so naïve and weak to believe, you were able to live a normal life, but there you were. pregnant and full of hope.

his eyes widened a bit and he looked back up at you again. "that seems so..unreal." he mumbled more to himself.

"it has been a lot. i feel like we should rest and..you know let it sit." gently you stroke the back of his hand with your thumb and smiled.

"yeah you're right.." he agreed and simply pulled you into his arms again. "i do wanna care about..both of you y/n" he whispered against your temple and kissed it.

the first shock was over after a few weeks. you stayed with them for a while since the goal to lock away the darkness wasn't as easy. you and cas, aswell as dean grew together like friends and it felt like everything worked out for once. dean still didn't knew it was sam's baby, that was just one thing both of you weren't willing to share to anyone. it was just another day which passed and you got ready for bed. after having the talk with sam, the two of you needed a bit of space, adjusting to everything and haven't really had much time together. tonight was going to be different since dean and cas decided to work a case a few hours drive away from the bunker.

throughout the day you still hid your baby belly since you still felt very insecure showing it too much. you were used to only see it in bed or when you were alone. you knew it wouldn't work out forever, but you did as long as you could. wearing baggy sweaters or dresses most of the time. so you pulled another hoodie over your head and before you were able to leave your room, you heard a knock.

"come in!" you said and sat onto the bed.

sam came in, with a cup of tea in his hand and placed it on the nightstand. joining you on the bed.

"how are you feelin?" he asked and reached for your hand. holding your hand in his and slowly but gently massaging it.

"well i can tell the baby is growing.. i can feel my back and my feet, but it's fine" you explained and relaxed your hand in his grip.

"i know..we didn't have much time to ourselves lately, but..cas and dean are out and we have some time for ourselves. may i see the belly..?" sam asked a bit insecure. "if you don't feel comfortable, that's fine! i just..i just really wanna feel the baby i guess.." he explained and had a hard time finding the right words. you could tell it was burning deep down in him and of course you wouldn't deny his plea.

you carefully took you hand out of his grip and leaned back against the headboard of the bed. taking the seem of the hoodie into your fingers you slowly liftet it up, revealing the babybelly to him. sam's eyes followed every little move you made and when he saw the belly his eyes got a bit watery. you took his hand into yours and placed it gently on your belly. his big hands covered half of your small belly and you felt the warmth of his skin against yours. goosebumps covered your whole body and even to yourself this was a huge moment.

his hand gently pressed against your belly and a smile formed on his lips. "gosh..that's my baby.." he mumbled in fascination and switched his gaze from your tummy to you.

you smiled at him and rested your hand on top of his. his face got closer and you put your other hand onto his cheek. he closed the gap between the two of you and kissed you gently. you kissed him back and melted into the kiss. finally feeling completely at piece for once. all the worry and anxiety shifted off your shoulders for once and you were present. not worried about the future. it was just sam, the baby and you.

#the cw supernatural #oneshot #sam #supernatural #thecw #winchester #dean #dean winchester #samwinchester #smut #spn #spnxreader #spnfandom #supernatural fanfiction #winchester x reader #thecwspn #supernatural fandom #fandom #samwinchesterxreader

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musicallisto · 6 months

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and also happy birthday!!!

sending in a 🐚 + i’m bi, I like reading, writing, gaming and yoga, turn ons include pet names and receiving the princess treatment, turns offs include not sticking up for me and being messy

my fandoms from your list are bridgerton and red dead redemption💗💗

thanks so much for running this event it is soooo fun!!!<3

ohhh princess treatment, you say... let me introduce you to the absolute kings of making you feel like you are the very center of the world...

please... you know it had to be him. not only because I'm a strong supporter of the way you write him and think you are the authority on anything arthur morgan related, but also and most importantly because have you seen the way he tends his horse? how gently he talks to her when he strokes her mane? i'm thinking soooo many thoughts and none of them pure

not only that, but he is generally so caring (especially high honor!arthur, who's my personal canon interpretation of him) with those he loves and even strangers who sense the goodness in him. that energy would definitely translate into any romantic relationship, even though he'll need to get over a lot of self-doubt and self-esteem issues to make it work

in a modern AU you'd get him into yoga for sure. i can only imagine how tired and sore all those muscles are from all the hiking around the woods and fixing up stuff in your farmhouse and cutting up wood and—he needs a break, but not one where he feels too idle and therefore like he's wasting time, and especially not one where he can't be surrounded by nature. which is how you convince him to give yoga a try, on a fine dewy morning in your frontyard

he thinks it's a little stupid at first—"how's all that twistin' and bendin' supposed to make me feel better?"—but you're really persuasive and he doesn't mind the sight of you in your yoga clothes either, to be honest

he'd find it really relaxing and a surprisingly effective way to connect with nature and his surroundings, but he'd still groan a little for good measure because he doesn't want to admit you were right too easily. that, and also the poor man is NOT flexible and he is struggling.

pet names!!!!! so!!!! many!!!! pet names!!!! "darlin'" this and "sweetheart" that. "honey" and "princess" and "GOOD GIRL"?!?!,!?,,?? in that deep, southern voice of his? i need to lie down.

of course he'd stick up for you anytime you need it, and even when you don't. he pledges his loyalty to the people he loves, to the bitter end, so he'll always always defend you, even when you're a little bit wrong, lmao, but that's only because he's a beloved himbo and he thinks you're always right and so smart

also this is a little bonus—I considered mary-beth as well, because i think you too would be so so cute and actual real life ladies together <3

ılı.lıllılı.ıllı.

now, if princess treatment had a name and a face... it would certainly bear a striking resemblance to that of benedict bridgerton.

the man is literally so smitten with you, there's nothing he wouldn't do to prove the depth of his affections. expect every grand gesture you've read about in the books; bouquets of your favorite flowers and countless portraits and blazing handwritten letters slipped into the secrecy of your gloved hand at balls.

anthony wonders why his younger brother looks so... miles away, like his whole being rather than just his head is in the clouds (more so than usual), and also why the family's expenses have skyrocketed all of a sudden... but violet discourages him from badgering benedict about it, because she's too elated that he's finally found a lady to seriously court, lol

since you're so well-read, and therefore spirited and quick, as well as artistic and creative, your conversations with benedict are as stimulating as they are witty... and that's not mentioning your correspondence. you could send each other letters back and forth every single day, were it not for decorum: it's already quite scandalous that an unwedded lord and lady are writing to each other personally, you're supposed to at least entertain your other suitors into thinking they have the ghost of a chance with you. which they don't, because it's clear as snow no one compares to benedict's bohemian soul.

it's true, however, that benedict can be quite... messy, asjdfjab, and he's thankful that it's him who visits you and not the other way around because he would Not want you to see the mess that is his studio. but you give him an incentive to start tidying up a little more! because you deserve only the best <3

literally prince charming incarnate with the perfect dash of mystery and edginess to keep you on your toes. what else do I need to say

#— celebration; 1.5k!#— ask.#˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ margo #rdr2 x reader #arthur morgan x reader #bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton x reader

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willowfolksong · 1 year

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i think labyrinth suits baji, especially if the reader and baji are enemies

“uh oh, i'm falling in love” part is when theyre both catching feelings for each other but theyre both denying it to themselves because that's just ridiculous as they thought

“oh no, i'm falling in love” the part they realize that they really are in love with one another, but theyre hiding and still denying it but you can sense the pining

“oh, i'm falling in love” is the part where they just give in to their feelings😭😭

SO SORRY I RANTED TOO MUCH 😭😭 i jst had this thought and needed to share it after seeing the lavender haze fic

falling in love, again

Keisuke Baji x Reader

a/n: thank you for your kind words, anon. I wish you could see this. your ask inspired this fic, so thank you so much 🫶🏻. hope you can enjoy it ✨

It wasn't supposed to end like this.

You didn't even liked him to begin with.

He was scary, loud, and incredibly disrespectful for no apparent reason.

He drops the book on the table and you recoil, anger simmering in your downcast eyes.

'This will only be for a month. Only a month and nothing else', you think to yourself, taking a deep breath and wondering why you said no when you were offered the possibility to move to a more advanced classroom, thanks to your notes.

You wouldn't have to deal with Keisuke Baji then.

"This book is crap and ain't no way I'm gonna read it"

"You have to" you say through gritted teeth "Or you'll fail this subject"

You're not even looking at him, but you know he's shrugging without a care in the world "As if I care"

"Aren't you one year behind already?" you ask him in a mocking tone. You really don't know where you got the courage from, because Keisuke Baji is definitely a guy no one wants to mess with "Do you want to be repeating again?"

He places both hands on the table and leans down, hovering over you like a panther about to jump on its prey.

"You little shit"

"Fine by me, you know?" you finish, and your voice is only a whisper now but you still get up, pick your bag and start walking towards the classroom's door. Never mind your shaking hands "It's not my problem anyway"

He calls your name when you're about to leave, and you only stop because you're genuinely surprised that he knows it.

"Fine, just ..." he sighs, shoulders sagging. Then he points to the book with an angry scoff "Let's just get this thing over"

It wasn't supposed to end like this.

It was going to be just one month, one month to get your teacher out of your back. He was supposed to be your good deal of the year. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" he yells, and you quickly silence him by placing a hand over his mouth. His smile tickles your fingers.

"Be quiet!"

"You mean I could've just read the manga version, instead of the whole ass book?"

"No, reading the book is important for the test" you tell him, rolling your eyes. But then he's making a grabbing motion with his hands that actually makes him look like a toddler reaching for his parents, and you have to laugh and hand the manga to him "But I thought you would appreciate seeing the story like this as well"

"Oh, I appreciate it alright" he yells, grimacing when you scold him again, and actually making a quick bowing motion when he turns around to find the librarian glaring daggers at him from the front desk "Yeah, yeah, sorry. I'll keep my mouth shut"

"Good" you nod, grabing your books "I'll leave you to it then"

It's only two days before the test, and you want to do some studying alone in your bedroom, wich translates into frantically pacing back and forth and reading stuff out loud, but he really doesn't need to know that)

He calls your name when you're about to go out the door, and this time, it is you who apologizes to the librarian, who looks absolutely done with the two of you.

"Thanks for this" he smiles, and it's a sharp smile with a hint of fangs that has you blushing and praying he's too far away to notice how quickly the colour spreads from your cheeks to your neck "You ended up being way cooler than what I thought"

It wasn't supposed to end like this.

You were just meant to be the surprisingly cool nerd girl that helps him get a good grade, pass the subject, and then just becomes someone he casually smiles when he bumps you on the hallways.

"Why are you smiling?" he asks, and you smile grows even bigger.

"How do you know I'm smiling? Your eyes are closed"

He shrugs, and you snuggle even closer under the blankets "I just know it"

"How?"

"I just do. I have a super power"

"You're a dork, that's what you are"

At that he smiles as well, and he even opens one eye to look down at you, with your head on his chest.

"Yeah well, but I'm your dork"

"I guess that is true"

"You chose me, so no backtracking now"

"Wouldn't dream of it" you laugh.

"Yeah, well. Because you wouldn't be getting rid of me that easily anyway"

"Really?"

"Yeah, you're totally stuck with me"

"Oh, I didn't knew you loved me that much" you say in a singsong voice, attempting to make a joke that clearly falls flat when Baji goes silent, and you have to actually look back up to see if he suddenly didn't just fell asleep.

"I mean" he starts, licking his lower lip in that nervous way that reminds you to your first kiss "I do love you"

One second passes.

Then two.

Then you're sitting down slowly and looking at him in bewilderment.

"I was just joking" you tell him, watching him immediately go from relaxed to surprised, then to defensive.

"Well, I'm not. You have a problem with that or what?"

Your mouth falls even more open, if possible.

"Ahm..."

"I love you and you're just gonna have to deal with that" he finishes, and then gets up in a flurry of blankets, and you just stay still and watch him quietly apologize to your cat for scaring her half to death on his way to angrily put his shirt back on and make a beeline straight for your window. The one he climbs almost every night when you're absolutely sure that your parents are sleeping already.

You only really realize he just confessed his love to you and immediately took off when you hear him start his motorcycle, and then you're running to the window he left carelessly open to shout his name, your parents be damned.

"I love you too!" you yell "So much!"

He flashes you that signature smile that you first saw that faithful afternoon at the library, and then disappears into the night.

You get scolded and grounded the next morning, but you still think it was totally worth it to see his blush right before he put his helmet on.

It wasn't supposed to end like this.

Because now... now you're going to have to spend your whole life getting over him.

You don't go to the funeral. Chifuyu tells you everyone was there. That his mother cried a lot. That a couple of them asked about you. You're only half listening.

Only when he places a hand on your shoulder you look up, to his stormy eyes that must look exactly like yours.

'Breathe in, breathe through. Breathe deep, breathe out'

The box with some of his stuff that his mother sent you stays under your bed until you move out of your parents apartment. You take it with you, because your chest still hurts even then, eight years later.

All because you fell in love.

In the great labyrinth of things that life is, you wonder if it was always meant to be like that.

...

It's the beginning of the year and you say yes when your teacher asks you about changing classrooms. You're going to miss studying with your friends, but you can still see them at lunch.

It's for the better. This is what's supposed to happen.

You graduate with flying colors. You go to college. The love you feel for the kitty you found starving on a side of the road and that has now become the queen of your bedroom and hogger of all your pillows, compels you to study veterinary science.

Life is good. Everything's like it's supposed to be.

Until one of your teachers asks you a tiny favour.

"You have to" you say, and the guy has the nerve to look all smug. As if he wasn't failing the class "It's the only way you're going to pass"

"Look, you don't have to be a little shit about it" he tells you, and you suddenly want to pick up the book he carelessly dropped on the table and smack him on the head with it "I know what I have to do. I don't need any bossy girl that thinks she's way cooler than she is telling me what to do"

"Okay fine! Whatever! Just do whatever the hell you want!" you yell, because you're 22, running low on caffeine and with a roommate that is going through the worst breakup ever, so you've been staying up all night doing your part in consoling her.

You don't have enough energy for this.

You're almost at the door when you hear him call your name, and a wave of emotions that surges seemingly out of nowhere threatens to topple you over, so you hold onto the door frame before slowly turning to look back at him.

He has apparently opened the book, and it's looking at whatever page he landed in with a furrowed brow.

"Fine" he relents, taking a quick look at you before closing the book back with a little more force than necessary, and plopping down on his chair "Let's just get this over with"

And you have a feeling, right in that moment, that this is exactly how things are supposed to happen.

This work belongs to my Midnights: Sleepless stories 🕰️ collection, a series of reader insert fics based on the album Midnight, by Taylor Swift, with characters from Haikyuu, Tokyo Revengers and Blue Lock. ✨

You can still send an ask if there's any character you would like to see in any particular song ✨

Last: lavender haze

#keisuke baji x y/n #keisuke baji #keisuke baji x reader #baji x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev fluff #tokyo rev angst #baji fluff #baji angst #fluff #angst #tokyo revengers fic #based on a taylor swift song

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sugarschnaps · 8 months

Text

Julie HCs because her official page is as long as my attention span

Her official page is literally barely even there. It's just her game bio and THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE. More TCM lore or WE RIOT !!! Anyway I love Julie and she can be summarised in one sentence as my anxious baby sunflower ─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

It's canon that Julie is a very physically active person. However we don't know what sports exactly she does, but I'd like to HC that she plays football (soccer to the rest of the world, I'm British besties) and does distance running, dabbling in swimming a fair amount too. She goes surfing during the summer as well, she's literally always working on some kind of a physical thing. She doesn't go to the gym, sis doesn't need to.

She's the one that everybody goes to when it comes to style choices and the like. She does makeup on her friends for fun, the boys are not at all exempt from that, she especially loves to do makeup on them actually. You wouldn't be safe from her if she had a makeup brush in hand. Her whole desk at home is literally COVERED in makeup products divided based on whether they're hers or someone else's, takes special care of hygiene things too.

Julie might have a lot of energy, but that energy does NOT translate into how she acts with her friends. She's actually surprisingly quiet, tending to take to action more than with her words. She's a ball of anxiety usually, insecure on just about everything there is to be worried about. She's a brilliant listener because she doesn't know how to start conversations. She was absolutely "adopted" into the group by one of the more outgoing characters.

She'd cry if she got someone's coffee order wrong. Like she'd accidentally put a bit too much sugar in and when it's brought up she'd feel so guilty she'd just sit there trying not to cry- Of course, people would reassure her that it's okay and it's not the end of the world, but the poor girl is just so upset. She feels like a terrible friend whenever she makes the tiniest mistake or causes a minor inconvenience to her friends.

Girl does not know how to be mean to someone. Like she'd be stuck between "are you okay" and "im sorry" and say "are you sorry" then start crying

Literally always uses the softest tone of voice possible when she talks to people, she's actually rlly quiet. Like everyone thinks "oh she does a lot of sports she's totally a tomboy" but she's just there enjoying her friends being themselves and just thinking about how much she loves all of them

The rest of the time, though, she's the calmest presence literally ever. She's the secret keeper and the comforter. She is literally so good at reassuring people, like she's better than a licensed therapist (tbh tho in the uk the standard for them is LOW) when it comes to helping people cool off emotionally. She gives the best advice. Probably gives cuddles to her friends when they're stressed out, gives them little kisses on the top of their head and tells them they're going to be alright in fifty different ways until they calm down. She knows the love languages of everyone around her and makes sure to appeal to those in a platonic sense.

She's a good friend because she tries to be, not because she's absolutely capable in everything like the others might be. She's not intellectual in the same way Sonny or Ana might be, she's much more people smart than book smart- Can read you like an open book but will say absolutely nothing bc her fear of confrontation is real af

Julie volunteers in community gardens and at animal shelters when she isn't especially busy. It's just a habit of hers to try her best to give where she can. She's not the type that can really protect her friends, too scared of arguments and too weak to physically do much other than flee. Her heart is pure gold, and that's why her friends instead choose to protect her.

She uses every single cute nickname there is for her friends. Has some special ones set aside for specific people, but always ends up calling people "babe" (canon), "sugarcube", "hun", and the like. She also jokingly calls Leland "tough guy", change my mind (you cannot)

She's talented in a lot of things, but she doesn't quite see it. She's pretty decent with arts as well as sports, maybe not the best with literature things, but where it comes to energy and expression she absolutely excels. She was definitely that one nice popular girl. Like she'd always try her best to at the very least make up for people who were bullying other people and all that, y'know what I mean?

Her dream for the future is literally just to have two dogs. Golden retrievers specifically, but she's more than happy with the idea of more dogs. She wouldn't mind the whole romantic partner, picket-fence ideal, but she's more there for the furry babies (the dogs, which she can't decide on a name for) than she is for the romantic ideal.

She cannot, and I genuinely mean CANNOT cook anything without being worried she's undercooked it. She gets really anxious about the kitchen in general. Tends to stick to sandwiches and pre-cooked foods because she's always nervous about burning the house down. The only reason it doesn't affect her body because she's super active, honestly.

SCENTED CANDLES IN HER ROOM I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH SHE HAS PINE SCENTS, CINNAMON SCENTS, AND ALSO WOODSMOKE Taking no criticisms this is CANON.

Closest to Sonny out of everyone. They have the kind of friendship where they're remarkably similar in key traits people notice about them (examples being that they're both anxious people and they would do literally anything they possibly could to help their friends despite maybe not being suited to it) and they feel like they make up for each others' shortcomings. They have friend dates on fridays and she does his makeup for him, probably tells him orange brings out his eyes and sakfkahfkhhfuhr they're literally just friends and I love that for them

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

I love Julie so much I literally just want to make her flower crowns and give her cuddles I SWEAR

#tcm game #texas chainsaw massacre #julie crawford #julie tcm #headcanon #sonny williams #they're not dating they're just platonically married #I literally cannot stress this enough #I dont care its canon #wholesome #she is so baby #sonny tcm

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sailorgundam308 · 6 months

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BG3 introspection bit

This one isn't edgy or funny. I just feel like sharing, prompted by seeing how, indeed, BG3 is one of the greatest if not THE greatest pieces of entertainment we've got in a long while. But I know for so many people it turned out to be much more than just that. That includes me. To make a long story short, I've been living a full world away from my loved ones for almost a decade, in a place that is particularly hostile towards me. I'm here out of necessity and choice, since my other option happens to be worse. It's been shockingly lonely, until I grew used to the isolation. Still, I made do. I make do. Around a few years back, and especially last year, things took a turn for the much worse. I've spiraled into a very, very dark place, which in turn isolated me even more from other people - but also from myself.

Being so far away from familiarity and the things I love worn me down, and disconnected from who I am and what I enjoy. To the point I effectively stayed in a limbo, frozen in time, empty, for the past years. It's been way more scary than when I was obviously and loudly sad or depressed, because at least then I had energy to react in some way. As an artist by profession and by passion, it was even more concerning that I could not create ANYTHING - words, images, even concepts. My mind had been simply silent, dead. I quite literally spent the last 3-4 years just existing, going to my job like a mindless clockwork because otherwise I wouldn't be able to make rent and end up getting deported. I knew I was utterly and completely lost, and had no idea what I could grab onto to pull me out. It was as if I couldn't move - I did not really wanted to, somehow.

It happens to everyone, I think, that sometimes a seemingly random thing that you engage with unexpectedly becomes a sort of lifeline. It happened to me once before, during a complicated part of my teens. And now it seemed to have happened again because I decided to play Baldur's Gate 3. I mentioned before, I am a bit older and have played BG1 and BG2, and also DnD and the like. I've always been the nerdy artsy type, and it had always fueled my imagination and gave me energy to keep creating, keep moving, searching, growing.

It was really a struck of luck that I heard the news that BG3 was a thing. I was so isolated I did not engage with any piece of media anymore - I watched no news, no movies, no series, read no books. When I think about it, it's really scary how I felt absolutely nothing, how truly empty of any will to live I was. But it's been wild for a while now. I happened to be on 'vacation' when BG3 got released, and I was sucked into it like I was desperate. And I probably was. I needed anything to take me away from where I was, who (or the lack of) I had become. The game did just that. It's not a coincidence I put 750+ hours in it. I could not stand looking at my own circumstances and somehow I managed to finally escape anywhere else. While I recognize I went to the opposite extreme of (problematic) engagement, I also saw how my mind seeemed to switch on again after a while - as if I was reminded of how it used to be.

Ideas, cohesive thoughts, images, the unavoidable urge to move, to create something - all these things that made me ME started to come back.

I remembered how much I enjoyed fantasy, fiction, having ideas, organizing, planning, making things come true - how much just marking a paper with a pencil brings me joy. How my own mind can be rich and exciting, and how I have the skills to translate those impulses into reality. And that is what made me, all my life. It's hard to explain how I feel after 4 years not creating a single thing, having no impulse or creative idea and watching life pass in a haze, now I feel like I'm finally reconecting to something precious. My doctor even pointed it out, how it seems I'm finally waking up after years, coming out of whatever dark hole I've been in.

While it's been a short while, I'm very aware this is essentially a hyperfixation, but for someone who (even though I tried) could not feel anything towards anything for so long, this seems like a blessing. And I'm doing my best to make a stair out of it - use the momentum to branch out into other things I know I need and miss, the other things that have always been part of my life that I'd let go of.

I'm probably not the only one who clicked with this game, and it somehow pulled us out of strange, scary places. Even though it's a lot of projection on our part, people in such situations need something they relate to in order to project onto, to grab to float. Not everything works, it must be something special to the person at the right time. Lucky me that Baldur's Gate 3 happened when it did, the way it did, and that I was where I was.

I'm really, truly happy I stumbled onto the news of the game, for whatever reason took action to actually buy it, open and play it. When I did, I had no idea it would be the lifeline I'd grab onto. But it's been, and it meant so much to me. That's all of my sad introspective blurb. I have no way of explaining how thankful I feel to everyone who put this game together. While it wasn't the intention of the creators, BG3 gave me the push I so desperately needed and that nothing else had managed to.

I'd still be lost in a very dark place without it.

:')

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #personal #tw mental health #tw depression #serious shit #introspection #kinda random #very raw #blurb

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voidsentprinces · 6 months

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I read a translation and was like, Warrior of Light is both a terror and a savior. And Emet-Selch got to them in action in full form as Azem. While he continues to work for his great plan, he recalls back to times he witnessed Azem go full out. Striking awe, terror, and admiration in his heart just as if someone had seen the sun up close. Burning, radiate, but if it was coming right at you, fucking horrifying. Now the sun has set and the work moves on, "Azem" is gone but we, the Source's Warrior of Light is still out there. We strike terror in the hearts of many, Thordan and Lolorito but are also awe inspiring to Alphinaud, Alisaie, and Estinien while being a beacon of hope, bringing a new sun rise to lands we travel through. Our smartest enemies try and work around the Sun coming RIGHT at them by either trying to delay it or constructing a plan that demands we burn them away with it. Our dumbest enemies don't know what they've gotten themselves into, just like you probably wouldn't realize the Earth is flying towards the Sun until its suddenly REAAALY BIG in the sky, and those who fuck around, FIND OUT how big of a grave they dug themselves.

Gaius thinks we're just a stronger than usual adventurer, with Pandaemonium as context, Lahabrea first sends a powerful beast after us before understanding we are at the start of our journey and believes he can work around us and kill us (he does but Hydaelyn rezzes us and we become stronger and proceed to banish him for a time), Teledji is arrogant as well as blinded by greed and power that he is lucky that Raubahn bisected him, Lolorito understands the danger we pose and is smart enough to work with us and around us,

Thordan actively sends us off to distract us with various chores before he makes his move and then spends the rest of the narrative actively fleeing from us until he has the power of what he believes is a God and then is indifferent only to be defeat by us and horrified by our power, Nidhogg believes he too is too powerful to contend with and so consumed by vengeance doesn't realize the danger of fighting with us after we've been empowered by Hraevelgr's eye, Ilberd actively works around us, planning fifty steps ahead to achieve victory through his own failure, even fighting us to buy enough time to kill enough souls to summon Shinryu.

Zenos is also a force of nature, a storm of blood who initially has the power to drown the sun but we eventually over power him, Asahi also has to put us in a diplomatic head lock and is REALLY lucky Yotsuyu turned him into a kebab.

Vauthry is like Teledji, blindied by his power and majesty to not see the power headed his way until he too is defeated. Emet-Selch knows how dangerous we can be and plans around it in a way. But even then he just accepts that this is the end, setting up a fail safe for Elidibus to pass on quietly too. Elidibus is focused on his mission and doesn't recognize us and is convinced he can become the "Sun" and goes against us over and over until he's sealed away.

Fandaniel also just plans around us, knowing we'll literally burn through all his plans. So he makes us burning through things PART of his plan. And delays us as long as possible before letting us kill Zodiark and unleash the Final Days. Meteion is also a force of nature of Absolute Despair. So fighting her alone is literally a battle between trascendent light of hope and bottomless darkness of despair. And at the end, Zenos's Nihilism vs our Hope leaves us on the verge of collapse but that was AFTER a long battle with Meteion.

So yeah, I like to imagine the song is about Emet-Selch reminscing about the terror and glory that followed in Azem's wake, the memories of their being and their eventually "setting" and how the world continues to move on or worships WoL in the same manner, "she would not go down tonight, and the world counts aloud to ten".

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moorishflower · 1 year

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I got tagged by @softest-punk to talk about BOOKS

Rules: 10 (non-ancient) books for people to get to know you better, or that you just really like.

Idk how we're defining non-ancient but I'm going to assume nothing pre-1400s just because people are listing Shakespeare? Which means I can't include Beowulf :< But know that Beowulf is on here in my heart

The Dark Elf Trilogy by R.A. Salvatore. Hoo boy. Baby's first fantasy novels. I fell in love with Drizzt Do'urden LONG before I knew what being edgy or goth was, and I was absolutely fascinated by the intricate politics of Menzoberranzan, but even MORE fascinated by the Underdark. This terrifying, harsh alien landscape all in darkness, lit only sometimes by phosphorescent fungi, populated by monstrous creatures and inhuman beings with complex cultures...I was actively less interested in the Forgotten Realms books when Drizzt left the Underdark! To this day I'm really fascinated by survival literature and hostile landscapes, and I find things like deserts and cave systems to be extremely beautiful. Also, I had a crush on Jarlaxle, but so did everybody else, so.

Don Quixote (El ingenioso hidalgo don Quixote de la Mancha) by Miguel de Cervantes. I originally read Don Quixote in college, and I fell in love with how it played around with the idea of stories, and how we use them to view the world. I wrote an entire paper about how Don Quixote serves as a sort of trickster figure, because we're meant to learn from his mistakes, but there are honestly so many different ways you can read the text! Is he insane? Is he the ONLY person in the world trying to do the right thing, and its only the rigid outline of society that's actively preventing him from doing it? Also, has one of the single most important quotes to ever be put to a page. "There is no book so bad...that it does not have something good in it."

Dragon's Milk by Susan Fletcher. This was the first book about dragons that I read. I think it probably wouldn't hold up well if I read it again? But I remember being in love with it when I was about 9 or 10. It felt VERY gritty to me (there's death! injury! grief!) at the time, lol.

John Dies at the End by David Wong. HERE'S a book that taught me a lot about fucking around with genre conventions. I reread JDatE about three times in the beginning to make sure I was getting everything, and I still reread it like...once a year or two years or so? Horror is a really special genre to me because there's so much you can learn from it and use it to convey. JDatE was one of the first successful horror COMEDY novels I read.

The Dark Tower series by Stephen King. I couldn't possibly choose a single book, so don't ask me to! This is meant to be read as a series anyways, even more so than other series. King is one of my favorite authors, and I've read pretty much his entire body of work, but there's something special about The Dark Tower books. They're so huge, and far-reaching, and they accomplish so MUCH and manage to entwine so many different threads into one (nearly, no one's perfect, lol) cohesive whole. I'm sure there are a lot of fantasy and scifi novels that manage to weave as many threads as King does here, but man, there's something SO satisfying about being able to go through the Tower books, and recognizing all the references to so many other books by him. <3

Feet of Clay by Terry Pratchett. WORDS IN THE HEART CANNOT BE TAKEN. Fuck, what a good book. About personhood, about self determination, about acceptance. Feet of Clay is definitely THE City Watch book for me, followed very closely by Night Watch.

Inferno by Dante Alighieri. Does this count as ancient? I don't care. Inferno was one of my introductions to translation and how word choice can change the entire effect of a sentence. I read it first in middle school, on my own, and then more in depth in high school and college, and I used to keep my annotated copy by my bed in my dorm, so I could go through it whenever I was stressed. I got really into etymology because of Inferno, an interest I still have today!

The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner. When I read this in high school, the teacher for the class warned us that it was going to be a difficult read and that we would probably need a timeline she had made in order to follow along. But I didn't need the timeline. The leaps in time and space and narration all made perfect sense to me! It wasn't actually that hard to follow along, and the story being told between the words by Benjy was horrifying and fascinating and terribly sad! And then you got to the other parts and it was CONFIRMED to be horrifying and sad! Anyways The Sound and the Fury is a really cool example of nonlinear, unreliable, stream of consciousness narration and I like it a lot.

The Mistborn trilogy by Brandon Sanderson. Just a really cool magic system. Really interesting worldbuilding. But it's the magic system that gets me.

Across the Acheron by Monique Wittig. Baby's first feminist lesbian book. I got Across the Acheron because I was intrigued by another version of Inferno. Instead, I figured out I wasn't straight! Like all feminist literature there's a lot of ways to read this and it probably hasn't held up as well as I would like, but I am indebted to it for like, letting 14 y/o me realize that not just liking boys was okay, so!

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shiawasekai · 4 months

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oooh areelu's experiment was a success? say more, i love areelu so much <3

First of all, hello and thank you for asking!!! Now, before answering the answer proper I would like to give a bit of context because it's what makes what happened in my playthrough so special to me. I play tabletop and I'm really familiar with Pathfinder as a system (our group switches systems often, but Pathfinder 1e has to be our most used by far), but I was... almost entirely unfamiliar with Golarion. We mostly used homebrew settings. In short, I had absolutely no idea whatsoever on what kind of story to expect. I didn't even know Areelu existed when I booted the game and created Nela for my first (and so far only, but I have more planned) run of WotR. I created Nela out of a wish to try out a class I had never used before (Arcanist), with everything else chosen around the class. This included my choice of god, of course. It naturally translated into a very intellectual, pragmatic character with a strong drive to learn. Without realizing, I kept racking up approval points with Areelu. Consistently. Just by staying perfectly in character. In fact, there is only one requisite I can think of, soft or otherwise, that could have realistically blocked Nela from a full Secret Ending unlock (I probably wouldn't have backtracked in Baphomet's labyrinth, but I was aware of the Secret Ending by then) JUST by staying IC.

To say I enjoyed the relationship this naturally built between Areelu and her would be an understatement. The more data I got, the more I built my character's past specifically to play on the inherent horrors of the situation. I was really unsure on the Secret Ending for her, however, as I didn't think it would really suit her to choose that path for herself. I still decided to try it first thing, just to test it out. That initial conversation with Areelu in the Secret Ending path about the experiment? Yeah, that solidified it for me. Her experiment HAD succeeded. In fact, my canon ending for Nela has that initial conversation happening. She is an inquisitive soul, she would definitely want to know the full truth. She is also smart enough to realize the full implications of the Secret Ending and decide that's not happiness for her. The experiment succeeding is, in her canon, a very natural consequence of such absolute compatibility between souls. It was so high that it mostly reinforced preexisting character traits, and the one thing that's 100% foreign to her is the love she feels for Areelu. Love that she despises and drives her crazy, because Areelu took her entire world from her (more on that if anyone wants, because my read on the implications of Areelu's actions for the Commander are... quite something). An affection that just won't die no matter how much she would want to. She absolutely defended Areelu during Pharasma's trial. Despite herself. Very much despite herself. As a bonus, this is what Areelu says if you take that particular path (have the initial Secret Ending conversation with Areelu but decide against going the entire way):

Hope this was the sort of answer you wanted! If it wasn't, feel free to ask again!

#Questions for the realm #oc: nela damasio

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prattery · 6 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Thank you for the tag @queerofthedagger <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

242,705, which is absolute madness. didn't even realise i have that much to say abt merlin and arthur lol

3. What fandoms do you write for?

BBC Merlin xx

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

stone cold: the one where merlin was turned into stone. bit heavy i have to admit, no idea what i was on when i wrote it

through storm and hellfire: the one where merlin was kidnapped to force Destiny™'s hand , things went to shit, and arthur went through a Difficult Journey of Discovery (or: the wringer) where he learnt that his dad was not, in fact, a good guy....among other things

flickering embers: the one where arthur lost merlin to the veil between the worlds only for merlin to be spat back out, lose his memory, and become a druid leader

winning the battle: the one where old religion claims everything that makes merlin merlin as a price for the immense magic he used to win arthur's battle

quiet light: the one where merlin stayed mad after agravaine convinced arthur that gaius was a traitor

my takeaway from this is that people enjoy it when i make arthur suffer

5. Do you respond to comments?

i do try but i am genuinely horrible at it. it's so so nice to receive them and i read every single one but i kind of don't know how to respond to them sometimes. one day we will get there

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i did intend for the long way round ANd a line that goes all the way to have angsty endings but oops guess my hand slipped.

the number of times i intended a fic to have an angsty ending only for me to faff with it later... unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on where you stand on this) my mind would not let me rest until I added a happier ending

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the three trials. it ended well for everybody. and not to toot my own horn or anything but i'm quite happy with it. i think i have a tendency to rush endings generally speaking, but i quite enjoyed writing the ending to this one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not yet and tbh i'd prefer to keep it this way thank you xx

9. Do you write smut?

i do like thinking about writing it but i just can't bring myself to actually type it out before i give myself the ick. maybe one day

10. Do you write crossovers?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

i think the fact that im still in here 10 (?) years after the show ended on says something about merthur lol. once and future ship init

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

the sword and his shield. i still really like the concept i have for it and i still have the ideas for it rattling around in my head, but i just feel like it flopped. i write for myself and clear my head of plotlines and random bits of dialogue rather than external validation, but it just feels a bit like mumbling into the void

16. What are your writing strengths?

banter and describing emotions that are not my own <3

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

worldbuilding. coming up with the concept is fine, i can do that, but i find the keeping track on them challenging

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

i mean if somebody else wants to do it, go for it, fair play, but personally i will not. only because i can't be 100% sure that i wouldn't get things wrong

19. First fandom you wrote for?

fairly sure i wrote HP (drarry), just never published it. don't remember what it was about, either.

the first one i published on ao3 was marvel (stevebucky). i have not touched it since my return to fandom and tbh im not going to

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

i feel like i should say storm and hellfire because it is my child, it is the longest thing i've ever written, and i feel like it is the only thing i write that resembles an Actual Story (idk how else to put it). i surprised myself by actually finishing it. think it took about two years and i was a bit bereft after the last chapter was posted.

that being said, the fic i enjoy rereading the most (i.e. without cringing) is probably a line that goes all the way. it ticks all my own boxes and caters to all my interests lmao what can i say

not tagging anybody in particular but if you'd like to do this, feel free to say i tagged you xo

#on writing #merthur #merthur fics #baring my heart and soul x

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andromedaexists · 6 months

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I've had a lot of friends reach out to me the past couple days and I just don't have the spoons to respond to all of y'all so I'm gonna say what I need to here:

I love you and appreciate you all. Your condolences and well wishes were received and mean a lot to me.

Now, for those who are not in the loop, I would like to take a moment to tell you about why I haven't been around for a hot minute despite really trying my best to be (under the cut, because good lord are there a lot of heavy topics on the table such as pet loss, depression, mental and physical health and the degradation thereof, stress and anxiety and more)

So, just in a brief bullet point recap, since about july of this years I have:

been switched onto a project at work that put increasingly more important responsibilities on my shoulders despite me saying that i never want to be in that position again

been switched back to my normal project in the middle of a hierarchy shift, therefore not knowing who to contact for literally anything (we're still working this out, btw)

started my final semester of college with 4 classes (reading & translating dead language #1, reading & translating dead language #2, novels in dead language #1, and the history of my native tongue that requires reading in the dead ancient form of it)

found myself being forced into monthly outings with my mother (a test in repairing our relationship that is going... okay)

somehow became integral in a discord (not upset, just not sure how i ended up here frfr)

being told on the first day of classes that i am having surgery ASAP on a cyst (we all know my history with cysts here.. it's not pretty)

the absolute atrocity that blue ridge ended up being. that was supposed to be my relax time, my time to unwind from everything else and i still have not recovered my loss of sleep from being up for 40 hours straight because of how horrible that weekend was

had my surgery cancelled because i'm too fat and then being ghosted by the doctor

had my heart absolutely demolished by a guy I thought I could love, only to be reminded that love is a luxury not afforded to people like me

broke up with my primary care physician because my health is degrading so fucking bad that i literally woke up feeling like i broke my wrist just because. and he still won't take me seriously. i can barely walk at this point, let alone stay awake and functioning longer than 4 hours at a time

had my employee review (that actually went well, but i did get my ass chewed out for low production)

had the world fall apart around me as any hope i had for humanity is shattered

release my book 3 days later because it was too late to change the release day by then

bury myself in a depression hole that i'm learning is normal for authors after their book releases

have to move my grandma into assisted living/memory care

have to immediately move myself out of my apartment with a weeks notice because the stress of living next to violent neighbors was finally getting to me (triggered my past with domestic violence) AND they started harassing me

had to undergo a medical procedure because i can't even eat food without my body rebelling

missed a month of classes because of depression

failed 2 latin tests in a row followed by bombing the midterm which was... great of my mental health especially considering i haven't received anything lower than a B or a C on an exam since ever (i was an honor roll/4.0/gifted studies kid)

Failed a History of the English Language exam because i cannot code switch between German, Latin, and English quickly enough (those are the 3 that comprise middle english btw)

a week after moving into my grandma's house I almost burned it down

found out that someone I really respected and looked up to as a friend was a Zionist

and finally: on Saturday I had to put down the cat I have owned for 15 years. She's undoubtedly older than that, but I was her owner for 15 years. She was my first ESA. I was able to tell my prof I wouldn't be in for the SECOND LATIN MIDTERM on monday because of it so now i have to take it tomorrow, but i couldn't get out of the greek exam or work. I asked for one (1) day off work and was told that my cat dying was not sufficient enough reason for the time off without using PTO (that i don't have because I used it on the absolutely horrible weekend that was Blue Ridge)

So yeah. I haven't been around. I've been more around on twitter but that's mostly me just reposting a bunch of posts about Palestine rn and other posts that my friends make. I'm so fucking exhausted and nauseous and just done. I haven't really written anything either because my work up until now has shown both the horrors of humanity and the underlying hope but I do not have that hope anymore and it hurts

Ironically since I've started working on Desecrate I've started wondering if this is my punishment for straying from God all those years ago. I don't think so but not I gotta add re-working through my religious trauma and my Catholic Guilt to my never ending list of things to do.

If you read this whole thing, kudos to you. I appreciate you all and I'm sorry for dumping it but I have not been able to really say anything about what's going on in my life because i just.. idk I don't have the words for it most days. I'm just tired.

#andi talks #vent post #life fucking suck rn man #and i just i don't know if i can keep holding out for it to get better

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tadpolesonalgae · 2 months

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hey tabby! 🫀anon here, thank you so much for taking the time to reply and with such kindness at that🥹

>>Gosh, I hope you aren’t disappointed by it—just as a heads up it might be a little slow in parts but I hope you enjoy it :)

First off, Gosh, I don't think I COULD be disappointed by ANYTHING that you write, like honest to God, your work heals me. I'm just having a hard time deciding if I want to wait cbmthy out till it's complete or if I should just start it already 😭 because I know I'll just want to tear my hair off if the latest chapter ends in like a cliffhanger or something.

>>(I loved him being cold, and cruel, and kind of flirtatious 🫢😳)

💯 i mean, sameee gurl sameee 👌🏻

honestly, I loved Rhysand's character soo much throughout the 1st book even tho sjm did not exactly make him seem like a "main" character or one who's on the "good" side in it, and I was even prepared for him as a villain of sorts? like, I don't mean Amarantha or Hybern level of villain, but deffo like badguy with ulterior motives that don't really affect the world in a bad sense but would definitely resort to immoral ways to accomplish said ulterior motives kind of bad? so kinda like an anti hero ig? (sorry if I'm not making sense, it's just English isn't my first language and I didn't know how to translate it best. also, I'm also not very good with words 🥲) which might be why I absolutely loved your dark!Rhys fics, Gods were they amazing, thankyou for writing them luv🤌🏻

>>I never hated Tamlin though

oh I'm so glad somebody resonates with me on this, now I don't know if you still like/don't dislike him after all the books or if you only meant through the first book, but I personally would love to see his character explored a lot more and think there's a lot of scope but for some reason everywhere I see, there's only hate for him(mostly) and I hate that some people judge me(and a lot of other readers) solely on the basis of characters we like/dislike? needless to say, I wouldn't say I hated tamlin either, infact I still enjoy feylin fics a lot even tho I don't get to read very many of them. it's just that back when I was reading ACOMAF I just NEEDED my otp(feysand) to happen fsr lol😅 honestly I don't think I'd have minded all that much if feylin was infact endgame, I'd just have been a little sad is all lol🥲 because how many otps of mine just didn't happen?(😭the answer is in a good high tens)

>>I mean to be fair, I don’t really watch films or tv shows at all anymore, and until acotar I hadn’t read many books so I think I might have been oblivious to those tropes/cliches

I so completely understand this bit, because personally, I'm exhaustingly clueless about a lot of media that people are usually just raving on and on about and it's not usually because I don't want to watch it, but there are these attention deficit tendencies that love visiting me on a regular basis that just won't let me sit down, load a show and watch it till the end😭 I mean, I watched the 1st iron man movie 16 years after it first came out so🥲and it wasn't for a lack of trying, I've been meaning to watch it for the past 8 years or so and I just got around to it. honestly it's a miracle I read all the Acotar books to the end lol

>>Thank you so much for writing in!!

Thank YOU for actually taking out the time to read it AND reply to it, in such detail at that. i truly mean it when I say you're one of the kindest individuals I've interacted with online and you inspire me to pass that kindness on as well.

ps: this isn't exactly an ask but I just couldn't NOT reply to your message, so I'm just glad you read it, you really don't have to reply to it, I'm just happy to have sent this message on it's way.

we all love you, Tabby.

—🫀

‘First off, Gosh, I don't think I COULD be disappointed by ANYTHING that you write, like honest to God, your work heals me.’

😭🫂🫂🫂🫂 thank you so much 😭🧡💛

‘I'm just having a hard time deciding if I want to wait cbmthy out till it's complete or if I should just start it already 😭 because I know I'll just want to tear my hair off if the latest chapter ends in like a cliffhanger or something.’

Oooh gosh, I guess it’s up to you? There’s still a lot of the story left to write—I’d say we’re probably either half or two thirds of the way there in terms of storyline and events that will happen. It’s not going to be over any time soon, basically, which is both exciting and pretty scary 😭

Honestly I think the tension is in the first half, if that makes sense? (Which it probably doesn’t since you don’t know reader’s fate, but 🤷) There’s going to be a ‘half’ chapter which adds in some contexts to reader’s history, but I think after chapter 15, that should be where the tension relaxes a bit? I like to think that in *very* broad terms, chapters 1 through 15 are the ‘hurt’ ones, and 16 onward will be the ‘comfort’ ones? There are still going to be intense moments but she might not have to be on her own anymore (provided she learns to seek help when she needs it)

‘but deffo like badguy with ulterior motives that don't really affect the world in a bad sense but would definitely resort to immoral ways to accomplish said ulterior motives kind of bad?’

Yes! Like I’m happy with how Feysand turned out, but I would have been fine if Rhys stayed ‘evil’ for a bit longer 🫢 just a few more scenes of him being super scary and Feyre being wary of him 🤭

I feel like even as soon as he first visited her in her cell, there was a suggestion he wasn’t that bad? Especially after we learned only one person bet on her winning? Ignoring how acotar characters would write that off as a whim, from a storytelling standpoint that’s a pretty clear way of singling a character out and making them significant 🤭

‘(sorry if I'm not making sense, it's just English isn't my first language and I didn't know how to translate it best. also, I'm also not very good with words 🥲)’

Girl if you hadn’t straight up said English isn’t your first language, I would’ve had no idea 😭

‘which might be why I absolutely loved your dark!Rhys fics, Gods were they amazing, thankyou for writing them luv🤌🏻’

Thank you so much!!! Yes, I have to say there is a certain appeal to writing dark characters, but only if they have a soft spot of some kind for the reader 😭🧡💛

‘oh I'm so glad somebody resonates with me on this, now I don't know if you still like/don't dislike him after all the books or if you only meant through the first book,’

I didn’t hate him in the first book or any other after that, BUT, I did definitely get frustrated with him during the High Lords’ meeting 😭 I kind of wish we got his perspective on that, or at least more about his character? Because Feyre dismantling stability within the Spring Court was quite a brash move I think, and one she might have decided against if she wasn’t having to deal with so many other matters as well as sorting through her own emotions? Because she definitely went through a lot 😭

I guess I feel that Tamlin has a lot of anger in general, which can make him impulsive and volatile at times—like when Feyre first realised she could make a shield in his office—and I’d love to see Sarah explore that more!!

‘but I personally would love to see his character explored a lot more and think there's a lot of scope’

Yes! Exactly!! There’s so much we don’t know about his character and so much potential to spin new stories? Ugh I would love that so much 😭

‘and I hate that some people judge me(and a lot of other readers) solely on the basis of characters we like/dislike?’

I mean, I think it’s made more complicated because of immersion and how emotionally connected some people feel to characters? I was having a conversation about how we all read the same books but it’s interesting there’s such a vast range of opinions? Like some people really hate Nesta, which I can see why I suppose but I personally love her 🧡💛

I think the problem starts when people get too attached to characters that they’re unable to speak objectively about them? I’m definitely guilty of this too though 😭 one of my friends read acotar and was saying something about Az and how they didn’t like him and I straight up asked them to stop because I knew it would upset me 😭 (they did, which was kind of them ☹️)

‘it's just that back when I was reading ACOMAF I just NEEDED my otp(feysand) to happen fsr lol😅’

No I get that 🤩

The tension being set up both in the one bed at the inn scene and the Court of Nightmares moment just made the resolution really enjoyable for me! Not so much the smut part, but when Rhys finds her in the cabin and they end up having a heart to heart, and Rhys tells her more about his history? It just made me feel so happy for them so I know what you mean about wanting them to get together!

‘but there are these attention deficit tendencies that love visiting me on a regular basis that just won't let me sit down, load a show and watch it till the end’

I don’t have it to that extent, but I know that on a smaller scale, I like having music or videos playing in the background while I work? Especially while doing more domestic work like the washing up, changing my sheets, generally tidying etc. it makes the process so much easier, and I won’t get bored of the work or feel guilty for relaxing during ‘work hours’ on weekends

‘I've been meaning to watch it for the past 8 years or so and I just got around to it.’

8 YEARS?? 🫢

Well done for keeping up the determination to actually watch it! 🎉

‘Thank YOU for actually taking out the time to read it AND reply to it, in such detail at that.’

I honestly cannot explain how much I love getting to speak with you. Genuinely, it’s so wonderful being able to interact with other people who like acotar and especially getting to discuss and debate different elements of the story has got to be one of my favourite things about fandom 🫂🧡💛

‘we all love you, Tabby.’

My eyes are prickling for some reason ☹️

Thank you for writing in and taking the time to read through the fics on here ☹️🫂🧡💛

#🫀 anon <3 #🫀#cbmthy #tamlin

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