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tkwrites · 8 months

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Love, even in the hard parts. - Quinn Hughes x ofc

photo from pinterest

Title: Love, even in the hard parts.

Author: Tory / @tkwrites

Relationship: Pre-established: Quinn Hughes x Original female character

Warnings: grief, mentions of a dead mother, lots of crying, hospitals

Summary: When his mom can't make it to take Quinn to surgery, Sarah steps in inspite of her hatred of hospitals.

Word count: 2500

Comments: This was very much written for myself. As someone who lost both of her parents young, it's often a struggle to find people to relate to about it. A struggle to find people who look for and see pain in others the way I have learned to see it after experiencing it so deeply. I wrote this on a day when I was really missing my mom, and wishing I had another mother figure in my life to give me a warm embrace, or a romantic partner to comfort me through the pain. It's a bit unrealistic to expect someone to fulfill needs without being asked, but that's why it's a fantasy.

These are the same characters as before, but there's not really a timeline. These are just snapshots from their life together.

Love, Even in the Hard Parts

A Quinn & Sarah Snapshot

Sarah hated hospitals. Ever since waiting in one, just to learn her mom couldn’t be saved, she felt anxious and on the verge of tears anytime she was in one.

Ellen was supposed to be here to take Quinn to and from surgery, but her flight had been delayed, so Sarah had stepped in. First, only to drop him off, but upon another text from Ellen, to stay and wait for him to wake.

Quinn had assured her he could ask a teammate to pick him up, but she didn’t want him to be with someone he didn’t know well. Petey had already gone back to Sweden.

She’d had her tonsils removed. It had been more than 10 years, but she still remembered waking up and feeling like she’d swallowed a sandbox. She wouldn’t want to be with anyone but someone she trusted completely.

She had headphones on, and was listening to a romance novel, trying to distract herself from the smell. She’d even rubbed peppermint oil under her nose to try to mask it. Both the oil and the novel were helping, but her heart still thundered in her chest and tears stung behind her eyes, threatening to spill out.

She’d missed the window to walk outside. Now she was too close to him waking up to leave.

When Rose, the motherly looking nurse who had taken Quinn back for surgery, tapped her gently on the shoulder, Sarah jolted. Fear rocketed to her fingertips, making them tingle with misplaced energy.

She smiled kindly, “I'm sorry, hon. He’s just waking up now if you want to come back.”

Slipping her headphones around her neck, Sarah coached herself into standing and followed the nurse into the hallway.

They were in the VIP section, and it looked almost homey. It was still a hospital, and still smelled too sterile and disinfected, but at least it wasn’t 70 different colors of beige and green.

“Here you go,” Rose held the door open for Sarah to step through. She’d been so caught in her own thoughts she didn’t think she could find her way back to the waiting room if she tried.

“Quinn,” Rose said gently, “your wife is here.”

“Girlfriend,” Sarah corrected automatically as she sat in the chair next to the bed.

He gave her a lopsided, drunk smile. "You can be my wife for the day," he said, voice gravelly.

She could see in his face that he was going to be sick before he began to cough. She grabbed the basin off the table next to the bed and held it under his chin, helping him tip his head forward so he wouldn’t get any vomit on himself.

He winced as he settled back.

“I was just about to say,” Rose said, taking the basin from Rachel’s hands, “you’ll want to avoid talking for the next day or two. It can aggravate the gag reflex.”

She took the basin into the bathroom and came out with a fresh one. “It’s very normal to vomit quite a bit after a tonsillectomy,” she assured.

Sarah nodded, looking around the room. It was bigger than any she’d been in in the past. And far more private. Quinn had a beautiful view of the city through a large picture window opposite his bed. Everything was painted in warm, cozy colors. But it was still a hospital, and he still had an IV in his arm that she willed her eyes to skip over every time she looked at him.

His hand came to rest on hers, solid and comforting. When their eyes met, Quinn - even in his drugged up, addled state - could see the sadness and fear in her face. It bothered him that he couldn’t comfort her the way he wanted to.

“Are you okay?” he whispered. No gag came. He would just have to talk quietly.

She nodded, even though she clearly wasn’t. “How are you feeling?”

He shrugged one shoulder up. “Thirsty.”

“Can he have some water?” Sarah asked, thankful to have something to do.

“Gulping can be quite hard, and he won’t be able to use a straw for a week or so, but I’ll get you some ice chips. Do you want them flavored, sweetheart?”

He shook his head.

Rose came back a few minutes later with a cup of soft, pellet ice.

Sarah helped him get it into his mouth, and he sighed when the cold liquid began trailing down his sore throat.

Thirty minutes later, Ellen came blustering into the hospital room, a suitcase wheeling behind her.

“I’m so sorry,” she told Sarah, gathering her into a hug.

Sarah shook her head, and pulled away before she could get too comfortable. An embrace like that would certainly bring her tears spilling over the surface.

“How is he?”

She pointed to the hospital bed, where Quinn was awake, but listlessly so. Sliding between resting and waking to let more ice melt in his mouth.

She didn’t trust herself to speak. There was a certain, intense jealousy that came over her any time she saw someone else’s mother come to support them. Even if she loved them, it was still hard to see and know she would never again get that same support from her own mom.

“Quinn? Quinn, I’m here.”

Hearing his mom's voice brought him out of another stupor.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, pushing his hair off of his forehead.

“Fine,” he whispered.

His eyes sought Sarah in the room. She had her back to them, her arms wrapped so tightly around herself, he could see a peek of her Canucks blue nail polish under each arm.

Ellen settled in the chair next to the bed. Through the rustle of her clothing, Quinn heard Sarah sniff.

“Mom?”

“What, honey?” she asked, smoothing his hair again, “what can I get you?”

“I’m fine, Mom,” he said, testing the limits of his voice. He had to pause and swallow. It hurt, like trying to swallow glass or a golf ball.

She offered him more ice.

He took the cup, but didn’t tip it to his mouth, “Mom, I can't right now, but Sarah really needs someone."

Ellen’s eyes shifted to look at her son's girlfriend, standing proud and contained, looking out the window.

As they watched, her hand swiped over her cheek. Even from there, they could see the sheen of liquid smeared over her fingers.

Ellen squeezed Quinn’s hand and walked over to her. It was just like Quinn, to see someone else's need and find a way to fill it even if he couldn't do it himself.

When the younger woman turned to look at her, fat tears were pooled in her eyes, and rolling down her cheeks.

“Oh, Sarah,” Ellen whispered, and gathered her into an embrace.

Sarah began to really cry then. She wasn’t loud, but her breath shook, and her gasps and cries were tiered, as if she were going up and down stairs.

Ellen held her and smoothed her hair, letting her cry into her shoulder in such a maternal way, Sarah felt both relieved and sad. Her own mother was never as thin as Ellen, but Ellen’s embrace was strong, keeping her grounded the way Sarah needed.

“I just miss her so much,” she whispered.

“I know, sweetheart. I know.”

A while later, she added, “I wish I could have met her.”

That brought on a fresh wave of tears that had Sarah crying louder.

Ellen hugged her tighter, palming the back of her head to keep her head on her shoulder. It had been so long since one of her boys had needed this kind of motherly comfort. This was dually the easiest and hardest part of motherhood. The ‘I’ll hold you while you cry and help you put the pieces back together’ kind of motherhood. At the same time, knowing you couldn’t fix all your child's hurts, or take away their pain.

It brought tears to Ellen's eyes to think that she could stand in for Sarah’s mom in this small way.

A few minutes later, Sarah pulled away, feeling more than a little embarrassed. She wiped at her eyes, and forced a bit of a laugh, “I’m sorry, thank you.”

Ellen took her by the shoulders, “Sarah, you don’t need to thank me, and you certainly don’t need to apologize.”

“I just,” Sarah met her gaze, “thank you. Being here has been really hard.”

“I know. Quinn told me,” she assured, her palm still traveling up and down her back in a soothing pattern. “Thank you for taking such good care of my baby while I was getting here.”

That night, after stopping at the store for ice cream and Popsicles, and watching the game, Quinn settled into bed while Sarah puttered around fussing over him.

“You're sure you don't need anything else?” she asked, finally stopping to look into his face.

He shook his head. “I need you to come to bed.” He patted the space next to him.

She nodded, toed out of her slippers and finally - finally settled next to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Thank you for taking me and taking care of me today,” he said, his voice strained with emotion.

She propped herself up with one arm to look at him.

“I love you, Quinn,” she said as if it explained everything. “Of course I'll take care of you.”

“I know, but I know it was hard for you today.”

Her smile was a bit defeated. She wanted to be done with the hospital, even though she knew it was better to talk and process the emotions.

“Thank you for telling your mom what I needed,” she said, her own voice pulled tight with the memory.

“I wish I could have been holding you,” he said, pressing a gentle kiss to her hairline.

A tear slipped down her cheek. Never in any kind of relationship - friendship, sibling or romantic - had someone seen a need and filled it so quickly, without her having to ask. To find support given before seeking – to find that Quinn was paying attention to her too. It made her chest tight with gratitude, and her voice wobble with emotion. This was the first relationship that didn’t feel out of balance as they so often had in the past. They cared for each other in visible, tangible ways.

“You gave me the next best thing,” she whispered. “Thanks for sharing her with me.”

“That’s not sharing, Sar, my mom loves you.”

She gave a defeated little sigh, “I know, it’s just…" her voice trailed off in that thinking way of hers, "thanks for seeing me, I guess.”

He laughed a little at the absurdity of her statement and immediately had to throw up.

By some miracle of physics, he managed to get to the small trash can his mom had set next to the bed.

Without complaint, Sarah got out of bed, took the bag out of the trash can and to the garage bin. When she came back, she had a bottle of water and a large cup.

“Swish and spit,” she said, handing them over. He spit in the cup while she replaced the liner. She made him do it twice more before she dumped the contents into the ensuite sink and came back to settle next to him again.

“Why wouldn’t I see you?” he whispered a while later, after the lights had been turned off, and what she said was still lingering in his mind.

A sigh moved her shoulder into his chest with a little more force than before. “I just mean… I’m usually the one doing the caring, not the other way around, and it's nice - to be cared for.”

He adjusted a little to get more of his arm around her. “I love taking care of you,” he whispered into her hair.

Turning over, she tucked her face into the crook of his neck. He felt her tears on his skin before he heard them.

He held her and let her cry. From everything he knew about her past relationships, she was often taken advantage of. Doing all the emotional work without getting much in return. She would be the first to tell him that her unwillingness to share her emotions was the main culprit for that. Even after therapy taught her to express herself and ask for what she needed, she always seemed surprised to find him still there when she had a hard day, as if he might run away from her pain. But nothing worth anything didn’t take a little work. It was all about intention. And he loved her and wanted to be with her, so he focused his intention on that, no matter the hurdle in their path.

For her part, Sarah was glad Quinn came from a family that understood grief. A month before she met him, she had decided not to date anyone who hadn’t lost a parent or sibling. It was just too hard to explain the waves of grief to someone who hadn’t gone through it. Quinn had surprised her, sharing some of his father’s stories about losing his mother when she brought it up for the first time. He didn’t have that first-hand experience, but he was sympathetic, and even once told her he asked his parents for advice when they first started dating. He was all in, and she realized that meant more than anything else.

When she lifted her head eventually, Quinn brushed her tears away with his thumb. Leaving his hand there, cupping the soft curve of her jaw, he smiled and kissed her gently. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

She settled back in again, tucked into Quinn’s side as they drifted to sleep.

Want more Quinn & Sarah? Check out the Snapshots Masterlist

To read all my fics, check out the Fanfiction Masterlist

#quinn hughes #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagine #quinn hughes x oc #greif #tw greif #quinn hughes fan fic #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes fic #Quinn & Sarah Snapshots #nhl fic #nhl oneshot #quinn hughes fanfiction #quinn hughes oneshot #hockey fic #hockey romance

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dnangelic · 2 months

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"...Can I.. have a hug?" Her voice is soft, barely above a whisper, like she's afraid of waking someone up. Tatsuki steps a bit towards Daisuke, before realizing something and retracting that step. As if she's afraid of being rejected.

She's made so many strides forward, but still she feels selfish asking for something so simple as a hug. As if asking for a hug was one of the worst things she could do. Comforting though a hug could be, she didn't want to... force it on him.

"....sorry... y-you can say no, of course. I... N-nevermind, it's nothing." Tatsuki just keeps feeling worse about asking, not sure how to retract it without apologizing too much for something so simple.

@iunctura

the summer flush on his cheeks deepens a little . red turns redder as he stares while tatsuki approaches --- then just as quickly retreats . for just a moment , he's tempted to ask , to make sure that he had heard her correctly , if only for both of their sakes . she had asked him for a hug , right ? one that she was to give , or himself to initiate ?

' um , tatsuki --- w-wait , ' awkward and lacking in popularity as he was , had he ever even heard that string of words directed towards him before ? it was true that certain dodging , avoidant habits had been irrevocably imprinted into him . necessity and a family curse usually pushed every intimate moment away , and this lingers in the back of his thoughts even now .

he didn't want to say no . weren't there times that more than anything , he too wished that someone could properly hold him , or that he could have held someone without terror for once ? despite a heart that felt as if it was willing to embrace anyone in the world , it still lingers in the back of his mind : even if he did and held tatsuki tight , tightly as he , if not maybe the both of them wanted , then wouldn't he transform ... ?

things might have ended up the same for her . two darks standing around and hugging each other ... if the thought wasn't so awkward seeming and ill-fitting in his imagination , daisuke might have burst out into a laugh on the spot . it was a tenderness that just didn't seem to suit dark and his rough , solitary image , but it could have been that , never before granted the peace or opportunity , daisuke had simply never even considered hugging 'dark' a possibility .

' i mean , um ... w-well , you know --- ' daisuke's arms offer themselves . first in a forward coax towards the other , then a vulnerable , open spread out to his sides . his head can't help but turn away , infinitely bashful , though still expectant and waiting . of course , his cheeks were blazing up to the very tips of his ears now . and it isn't long until he gets impatient and crosses every boundary , invisible line , and thin threshold of transformation himself .

' here . is this ... okay ? ' pressing her both firmly yet gently ; holding her close , if there was a truth to the horror of dark's form for the boy , then it would have been the way that holding onto anything ; anyone , was exceptionally comfortable ... apart from the frantic , noisy thrum in his chest . he's sure that tatsuki can hear it , so close to his rib cage , but even then , it couldn't be helped . moreover , what mattered the most to him was whether or not he had been able to help tatsuki herself instead .

' sorry . my hug's probably no good . but --- whether it's me or anybody else in the mansion , you can always ask , okay ? mom , dad , and grandpa ... even the artworks , i'm sure anybody would be happy to hug you . ' he hesitates a little . it wasn't as if his heart was beating for any reason beyond confession . ' i know ... um , that i really am . aside from mom , i can't remember the last time i gave a proper hug to anyone . so , i'm sorry ... if it's lousy , ' or , say that she never wanted a hug from him again , ' it's definitely ... definitely my fault . '

#*･ﾟ⊰ ANSWERED. ⊱#CANON.#iunctura #dai @ his own damn self like 'WISH U WRENT SO AWKWARD BUD'

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dapperbasil · 1 year

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tammy "please don't ask me about how much i love my sire" king 🎹 👑 💢 lilian "dear god someone get this cunt out of my head" macbeth 🚫 👑 💞 kiasyd

Tammy:

🎹 Do they have any special talents or skills?

"As far as kindred go, no not really anything special. Before and even after embrace I've never really had much I can claim to be great at. I suppose I am fairly decent at getting information out of people, I'm good enough with my words to sway them more towards what I need or want from them. Considering I was eloquent enough to impress one of the visiting elders, I'd say that's my talent.

I'd also argue I'm pretty good in the kitchen though it doesn't do much for me as a kindred. We can't really be near fire and most of us can't even eat. My sire and I both can though, which allows me to keep up with practicing my cooking. When I lived in Reno if he was staying at the haven the night before I'd make something for him to wake up to, whether it was simply coffee the way he likes it (no cream or sugar) or something to eat, usually comfort food. I always woke up considerably earlier than he did, so I had plenty of time to work on it. I don't know how Zacharias felt about it, but doing it helped me feel like things were a bit more normal."

👑 What is their opinion on the Camarilla?

"Well, I'm not really sure what opinion I'm supposed to have aside from my loyalty to it. Its all I've ever known and every other option is unappealing or just no longer exists. Every encounter I've had with the sabbat has left me terrified further and further I'll admit, which may have to do with my first encounter being particularly bad. Bad enough my sire kinda had to bail me out of it, and yeah I know that's kinda his job but nobody wants to be the person that has to get rescued.

The expectations everyone in the camarilla has of me are very daunting. There's always something going on that I have to help with or be a part of, but in truth its a bit comforting too. We have community here, and though kindred still look after themselves mostly, we do protect each other in the end. I heard a bit about the anarch life from Reid and Jackie, and it sounded like it might have been nice, but things like that never last. I like the stability the camarilla provides, however fragile it may be."

💢 What is their moral alignment?

"Moral alignment...? Well I genuinely hate hurting people in the first place. See, I was pretty powerless as a mortal. Just one of the unlucky ones born into a bad situation. Mom died when I was little and I never met my dad, he walked out on her before I was born. I remember what it was like as someone with no control over her situation. Hell you could argue I don't have much control over it even now. But what I do have compared to back then is power. I'm a kindred, with all the perks that come with it. And all the pains as well.

I hate that we have to feed from kine. I hate that as a ventrue I don't really have a choice against feeding from kine. Sure the kiss is pleasing, and some even seek it out but we're still interfering with others lives. If you're not careful you could hurt or even kill someone, and I hate it so much. I try to rationalize it in my mind but sometimes it doesn't work and my beast has to force me to feed. Those times are the worst, because I see how easily it is to hurt someone. Its... its not right to hurt them. I don't care if you see them as lesser because they're not kindred, its still just not right."

Lillian:

🚫 Have they ever broken one of the Traditions?

"Well I suppose the question here is what Sabbat Cainite hasn't? Many of us kill, embrace, and flaunt our undeath in the face of mortals nightly. Destruction I say would be the tradition I am most guilty of breaking. Many a camarilla kindred has lost their unlife to my hand, and I did in fact diablierize my own sire as well. It is an action I live now to regret, but it is one that was taken nonetheless."

👑 What is their opinion on the Camarilla?

"Fools, the lot of them. Kindred are not meant to play among the masses of the cattle. I have not met a single member of that damnable sect worth the vitae that flowed through their veins. As a researcher of the kindred condition, you would think I would have more sympathy for them but on the contrary I hate their weakness and inability to change. They play at being royalty hiding among the masses whilst spending their nights in stagnation, ignoring the beauty of the adaptability of the kindred as a species. We are meant for change, we are meant to overcome those that stand before us. And if those who stand before us do not move, we will tear them down one by one until the last fledgling falls."

💞 Do they have any opinions on kiasyd?

"I will admit, before I met Miss Chills I had not had many encounters with the bloodline. They are a reclusive sort, though the few I have met are all bright witted and brilliant. Those I had met before the formation of the new pack were wary of brokering deals with a Tzimisce, as to be expected by those who consider themselves independent. Many of the ones I have met were during my time in europe, chasing the idea of curing myself of my affliction. Though in the grand scheme of my research the time was wasted, I feel as if I did indeed learn from the experience. Miss Chills is a rather interesting kiasyd as she is severely devoted to our sect. I do not judge her for her difference in appearance or her abnormal affiliation, as after all who are we to judge when we are abnormal ourselves?"

#ask meme #Toronto by night #Tammy king #Portland by night #Lillian Beaumont

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aluvian · 2 years

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Rules: Tag 9 people you'd like to get to know better

Tagged by: @redteekal (Thank you SO SO MUCH for the tag. Mwah, mwah, mwah!!!) 💙💙💙

Favorite time of year: Christmas. I remember last year it was just me and Merlin (my dog) one evening. I had all the lights off except for those on the Christmas tree and the other various decorative ones we put up. One of my favorite instrumental Christmas music compilations was playing sofly in the background. I was curled up in one of the big chairs in the living room, a cup of hot cocoa in my hand, and Merlin on my lap. It was truly one of those moments of utter and complete happiness. I tend to have lots of moments like that during the holidays, and it's something I hold onto and cherish.

Comfort food: There's this cold seafood salad sandwich from a local restaurant, and it's called The Crabby Shrimp. I've been eating it since I was a little girl, and it's probably my favorite sandwich in the world. It's simple and unbelievably delicious. I usually order the smoked fish spread to go with it. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. My mouth is watering as I type all this. I'm hungry now lmao.

Do you collect something?: Oh yes! Comic books, Loungefly backpacks, different copies of the first Dune book (I hope to obtain a copy published in the 70s someday. I'm obsessed with the cover art from that decade), Disney trading pins, chopsticks, mini resin owl figurines, Ina Garten cookbooks, trading cards + candles + pins + menu cards from a bakery I'm obsessed with called Gideon's (they're based in Orlando and have the best cookies I've ever eaten and I LOOOOOVE their nitro cold brew iced coffees too), stuffed animals/plushies (I have a unique collection and will always add to it), figures/statues of my favorite fictional characters, fanart prints, vinyl records, Alex & Ani bracelets, and "The Art Of" books.

Favorite drink: A large McDonald's Coke. Truly the drink of the gods. Bad day? This will fix me. Inject it into my veins.

Favorite song: Truly one of the hardest questions anyone could ask me, tbh. I think I said a Def Leppard (my favorite band of all time) song last time, so I'll pick a different musical group this time. I don't know how many of you listen to the Bee Gees outside of their disco songs, but their stuff from the 90s and early 00s is AMAZING. I grew up listening to their albums from those years most above all their other music. Anyway, the song Embrace is on an album (This is Where I Came In) that came out in 2001, I believe. Hoo boy that is a really really good song. Probably my all time favorite from them.

Current favorite song: The Sound of Silence by Disturbed. My current go to when I'm not listening to my podcasts and can't figure out what music I'm the mood for.

Favorite book: The Haunting of Alaizabel Cray by Chris Wooding. My mom bought it for me for Christmas my freshman year of high school. It's the first book I can actively remember being absolutely frantic to finish reading. I reread it several times a year. The day that book gets made into an animated series or a live action show is the day I ascend.

Favorite fic: OOF WHAT A QUESTION. I truly can't pick, because I have too many favorites, but I'll name one from each of the ships I currently read fic for:

Jaime x Brienne: the battlefield between us (isn't here tonight) by @robotsdance

MSR: Out of Rain by suilven

Royai: Juniper by sixpences

Neo x Trinity: Collateral Damage by nanda (nandamai)

JonMartin: A Measure Outside the Lines by Rend_Herring

Tagging: @kittsunegari @houseoftrinity @exquisitecashmere @genderqueer-klinger @absolutebearings @karrashi @viksworth @kriscynical @ussfaramir @hamster-on-fire and anyone else who wants to play! 💙💙💙

#tag games

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yourmidnightlover · 3 years

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lost my everything

Summary- while revealing something to spencer, you confess something during the process. he didn't know how to react, which led to a terrible accident in which he might lose you forever.

TW: talk abt mental and physical abuse, alluding to death, talk about self-harm, SAD ENDING

WC- 3,152

a/n - please don't read if you're sensitive to self-harm or talk about emotional and physical abuse because reader goes into discussion about these things. i care about you and your safety so if you need to talk about anything please seek help or my inbox is always open! you are loved and you are needed <3

masterlist

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one thing about being the youngest member of the team meant that the second-youngest member was drawn to you.

that second youngest member happened to be spencer reid.

you had just had another paperwork day today since you got back from one the night previous. you were currently in the conference room discussing the case before we got off-topic, curtesy of spencer's coffee problem.

"i might have a slight problem with my coffee addiction, but there are many studies that go to show the benefits of drinking coffee. supposedly, drinking coffee could extend your life period, strengthen your liver, increase your body's glucose production, and even-"

"okay, that's all for today guys. go home and get rest before a case comes in," hotch interjected and warned.

you placed your hand on spencer's arm, this time underneath the table, as his face began to fall from disappointment. he turned to face and gave a tight-lipped grin before you removed my hand and we both stood up.

"so, spence, my place or yours for the doctor who marathon this time?" you said as he grabbed his bag from his desk.

"we went to mine last, so we can just go to yours this time," he said with his natural pep back. "besides, i kinda like your apartment better," he shrugged with another wide smile.

"clearly you do," you joked. "you almost always say my place," you laughed as you both joined jj. pen, and emily in the elevator.

"hey, y/n, would you wanna go to o'kiefs with us tonight?" jj offered kindly.

"already got plans. maybe next time!" you said with a smile, turning back to see spencer wearing the same smile on your face.

honestly, you and spencer have gone to the bar with the team a few times. you weren't opposed to going with them, you just knew that going meant everyone would pressure you to drink alcohol.

last time, you had succumbed to peer pressure. spencer had to drive you home and hold your hair as you puked into the toilet, it was a very good bonding experience. you didn't remember much, but you do remember you convinced him to stay the night, although he did end up sleeping on the couch rather than in the bed with you.

"after last time, i don't blame you, y/l/n," emily laughed out, giving a concerned look recalling the memories flooding her mind.

"next time we won't pressure you so much!" penny consoled. "i didn't know how much you meant it when you said you can't handle your alcohol," she winced.

"yea... i really meant it," you laughed out, trying to shed some light on the subject. the elevator opened, allowing you to go your separate ways for the night. "have fun you guys!" you called as you walked to your car with spencer.

spencer and you have been carpooling to work ever since you learned he took the metro to work and only lived a couple blocks from your apartment complex. you couldn't stand the thought of something bad happening to him while on the train, so you've offered to give him a ride there and back ever since.

in return, spencer insisted on paying for daily coffee runs for the two of you. it was his way 'of returning the fuel money in another type of fuel.'

you and spencer crawled into the car and began the drive back to your place. it wasn't too long to your place, only a 20-minute drive, but being with spencer made it feel like half that.

"do you even remember what happened the last time you went to the bar with them?" spencer laughed.

"not exactly..." you grimaced. "just that you took me home, there was a bit of puking, and i coerced you to stay the night. and you slept on the couch, which is absolutely ridiculous! i mean, i was the one who practically made you stay, so shouldn't i have slept on the couch? it's not like we haven't slept in the same bed before," you ranted.

"you're right, we have slept in the same bed before," he clarified. "but each time we did that you weren't drunk out of your mind," he sassed.

"ha-ha, spence," you mocked. "i did say i couldn't handle my alcohol. is there anything you wanna fill me in on?"

truthfully, yes.

there was something he wanted to fill you in on.

he wanted to tell you how you confessed your past to him.

he wanted to tell you how you kissed him right after...

and he kissed you back.

he could still remember the way your lips tasted, still covered by the vodka from the shots you took hours before.

but he didn't want you to think less of him since he kissed you back.

he just couldn't help it.

he'd been helplessly in love with you for so long, yearning to be with you as more than friends... as more than what he thought you wanted. but that kiss was his hope.

it was hope that maybe you felt a fraction of the chemistry he did. it was hope that maybe even if you didn't like him, you still had an attraction towards him in some kind of way. it was hope that maybe you would grow those same feelings for him.

but no matter how much 'hope' that kiss gave him, he shouldn't have kissed you back. he knew how vulnerable you were by telling him about your history of abuse.

you told him about your parents. about how they would throw you around when they were high, or drunk, or both. you told him about how they would call you worthless, a whore, stupid, good-for-nothing, basically every name in the book. but you didn't tell him about how you coped with the abuse.

so, when he told you how amazing you are to be able to turn your life around how you did, and how beautiful you are and always have been, you couldn't help but embrace him with a kiss.

you kissed him.

and he kissed you.

in a wonderful, vulnerable moment, he kissed you back as he'd always wanted to each night you spent with each other.

"nope," he shook his head. "nothing to fill you in on."

"i guess that's good," you shrugged.

he also wanted to know if you'd ever tell him about what happened when you were in your right mind. he wanted to know that you trusted him with your darkest secret that you accidentally already spilled to him.

although, maybe you should know about what you admitted to him. it was your life, after all. it was your past that you revealed to him in a simple drunken mistake.

"actually..." spencer started, taking a deep breath as he looked into your eyes. "you did mention something."

"okay... what'd i mention?" you wondered.

"you told me about..." he tried to find the right words to say. "about your parents."

"oh...?" you began to realize what you had admitted to him that very night, still not remembering the events that followed. "i didn't want you to find out like that..." you trailed off.

"i figured you didn't," he gave a small grin. you looked over at him hesitantly.

you thought about all the ways you could react to this. you could block him out and act like it was his fault you drunkenly confessed your past. you could ignore the fact that you told him at all and just move on, burrowing all the emotions inside of you once again. or, you could try to finally move on from what happened and how you coped with it by talking to spencer about it.

"when we get to my place, would you mind if we held off on the marathon? i should probably elaborate a bit more," you asked meekly.

"of course we can. we can do whatever you want tonight, y/n," he soothed, placing a hand on your lower thigh comfortingly.

you drove back to your place in silence, the both of you anticipating the conversation awaiting you.

when you finally entered your apartment, you both shed your coats by the door, hanging them on the hook, placed your guns and badged on the table beside the hook, and sat down on the couch comfortably. you crossed your legs, your knee up in the air, as spencer sat down with his knee touching the one still on the couch.

"so... how much did i say?" you asked curiously.

"you talked about the emotional and physical abuse, but nothing too in depth," he confirmed.

"when i was young, about 12, my parents got into a minor car accident," you began telling him about your past, trying to recall the memories with little hurt or pain. "they weren't at fault, it was a drunk teenager, but they each got addicted to their pain meds from the hospital. i would be asleep when they would come home from a night out, drunk and high out of their minds. i remember the first night it happened. i wandered in the living room, curious of what the ruckus was, and was greeted by my dad's hand slapping me across my face," you chuckled humorlessly, not knowing what other reaction was appropriate.

"he told me i shouldn't have been up or seen what they were doing. he was furious," you furrowed your brows as tears began to well in your eyes at the memory as spencer gingerly placed his hand comfortingly on your knee, scooting a tad bit closer to you. "after that night it became almost a pattern of his. he would come home and then get upset from his high coming down, and take it out on me. my mom just laughed and watched as he would hit me."

"eventually, they started just belittling me. they would say i was a coward for not standing up for myself. they would say i was stupid, or worthless. they especially liked to call me 'a waste of space,' i think that one was their favorite," you took a shaky, deep breath as you knew you were about to reveal for the first time to anyone what you would do to cope with the abuse.

"eventually i started to believe them. i started to believe the things they said about me. i thought i truly was an ugly, undeserving, piece of garbage," you turned to see spencer's eyes full of tears, mirroring your own. "i would self-harm because i believed them. each night after they were done with their own abuse, i felt so... frustrated. the only way i could get that frustration out was to do that. the scars are still there, taunting me of how weak i was to not just endure the pain," you finished.

you didn't even realize tears were streaming down your eyes until you noticed the few on spencer's cheek. he reached his hand up to wipe the tears on your face, ignoring that of his own.

"you aren't weak, y/n. you are unbelievably strong for getting through that. you have to know how amazing you are," he told you, demanding you to see you the way he saw you.

because the way he saw you, you were beyond perfect. you were so much stronger for going through that. if anything, knowing you went through that made him think you were that much more amazing.

and honestly, the way you were thinking is that when you told spencer, he might think less of you. he might think you were dumb for doing that to yourself, inflicting pain upon your own body to relieve yourself of pain.

that was anything but true.

"s-so you don't think any less of me?" you asked confused, looking into his eyes for any tells of his lying.

"absolutely not. if anything i think you're stronger now that i know what you've endured," he assured you, moving a stray piece of hair behind your ear as he moved even closer to you.

"thank you so much, spencer," you said as you lunged forward, your arms immediately pulling him closer around his neck into a hug.

"you don't need to thank me, y/n," he started as he rubbed circles in your back soothingly. "if it helps anything at all... i think your amazing. i always have, and i always will."

"spencer..." you pulled back and looked into his eyes. "just... i need to tell you one more thing."

"alright," he nodded, prompting you to continue.

"i uhm, i'm in love with you," you bit your lip in anticipation for his response.

he didn't say anything.

he couldn't say anything.

he wanted to say something, but he didn't know how.

he didn't even know if you actually said that, or if you were just a figment of his imagination.

because at this point, he felt so much more for you than love.

he was infatuated with you.

but you read it as rejection, so you quickly unhinged your arms from around his neck and retreated into a ball while on the couch.

"i-i'm sorry," you said after quickly realizing the reality of the situation.

he didn't feel the same.

"you d-don't need to say it back. i shouldn't have sprung that on you. i-i've just felt that way for so long, and i thought that maybe you did too, but i shouldn't have assumed anything. i'm so sorry," you looked at him, waiting for him to say anything. to admit anything.

"oh god, and i just spilled everything to you," you ran your hand through your hair.

silence.

"i think i need to go for a walk," you said, getting up from the couch and rushing out the door after grabbing your coat.

you opted for taking the stairs to run outside, being the quickest option.

spencer was speechless, still sitting on your couch, dumbfounded.

he was overwhelmed with emotions.

you loved him?

he couldn't believe that someone so smart, so beautiful, so kind, so funny, so... everything would ever love him.

and he was too late to say it back.

he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that you loved him, so he just sat there in awe of this revelation.

by the time he realized what you had said, and was ready to say it back, you were already out of the door and down the stairs.

you were walking all too fast with tears flooding your eyesight.

you had just lost the one person you loved the most. the one person who's always there for you. the only person you've felt a connection with. you lost your everything.

by the time spencer ran down the stairs in an attempt to chase you, you were nowhere to be found. he could always call your cell, but he wanted to admit his undying love and affection in person, not over some dumb cellular device.

you didn't know where you were going, just letting your feet take you wherever they pleased. it had been a bit cold and you had left everything at your place, so you began rubbing your arms in search for more friction.

you were walking around a corner when you were pulled into an alley by some random white guy. with a harsh hand on your arm, you whined out quietly from the sudden pain.

you didn't have your gun.

"money! NOW!" he demanded. you stayed there with tears in your eyes, too emotional to speak.

your wallet was back at the house.

"are you too dumb to speak? i said MONEY!" he said, pushing a gun you were now made aware of into your stomach.

"i-i don't have my wallet," you admitted with a shaky voice, tears now streaming down your face faster than before.

the night was supposed to be another night with spencer, watching your favorite show and being with your favorite person. you were supposed to be cuddled up on his couch, probably falling asleep in his arms by now.

and now you were being mugged and were probably going to get hurt in one way or another.

"and why is that, doll?" he pushed the gun further into your lower stomach .

"i-i was in a r-rush. i s-swear i d-don't have anyth-thing!" you stuttered, trying to convince him to let you go.

"too bad... you've already seen my face. let's hope you have a nice nap," he growled before pulling the trigger, a bullet running through your lower stomach.

spencer was near you when the bullet went off. he was walking home.

you didn't even realize it, but you were walking in the direction of your love's own home when you were ambushed.

he heard the gun go off.

he naturally ran into the alley with his gun raised, ready to fire at anyone fleeing the scene. he managed to take the guy down with a single bullet before realizing it was you who was shot.

he quickly grabbed his phone and dialed 911 and demanded an ambulance at the corner of 5th and maine, alerting them that an agent was down.

"Y/N!" he yelled, running to kneel beside your limp body. "please, no..." he pleaded.

he put his hand to your neck in an attempt to find any pulse. there was a weak one. there was that hope again. he pulled you onto his lap, your body now resting atop his.

"stay with me. i-i didn't get to tell you how i felt," he cried as he put pressure on where the blood was coming out.

"sp-spencer?" you asked, barely regaining consciousness.

"it's me, y/n. i'm here," he soothed, running a hand through your hair to move it from your face.

"i'm s-s-sorry," you choked out, feeling your eyelids become heavier by the second.

"no. don't apologize to me," he told you. "i should be apologizing."

"it's n-not... your... fault," you felt your breath coming slower, the weight on your chest becoming unbearable.

"i-if i would've just told you how i felt..." he began thinking about how horrible a mistake he had made.

sirens were nearing, hope was becoming greater. spencer clung to your body tighter than ever as if holding you closer to him would will your heart to beat stronger, even if it was for just a bit longer.

"i-i..." you took another uneven breath, reaching your hand up slowly to wipe a tear from his face. "lo-love..." another breath. "you," you finished, your hand cascading down from his face and falling limp onto spencer’s lap, now accepting your own fate as the ambulance was now right outside the alley.

there was a moment when spencer thought maybe you’d wake up. you’d come back to him. but once they loaded you into the ambulance he had to accept one thing.

he had lost his everything...

@averyhotchner @greenprisca @muffin-cup

#spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer x y/n #spencer x reader #sad ending

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puckgoodfaggot · 2 years

Note

for ránon: 6 (I just want you to gush abt the twins lmao), 23, 28, 31, 35, and 39 please and thank you

aaaahhh thank you tess!

6. Did they grow up with siblings? What were those relationships like?

so, ránon has a twin sister named riell except that she's not technically his twin. she's 9 months older, so they're the fantasty equivalent of "irish twins". riell says they're siblings. ránon says they're twins. it is a never-ending disagreement. riell's player and i never really talked about how they got along before their human dad died and their elven mom went mad with grief at the loss when they were little, but from that point on, i think they were inseparable. being stuck in the care of the temple, they needed each other not only as playmates and friends, but as a balance to their own flaws. ránon is all impulse, all pleasure, all self, all chaos, and would have gotten himself in major trouble without riell there to reign him in. but riell, who is all order, all selfless, all duty, needed ránon to help her lighten up and remember to smile. ránon is reckless with his own life, but he is always cautious with riell's. riell is generally stoic, but she's goofy with ránon. they're constantly complementing one another. they're more two halves of a whole than they are two wholes working together. they probably couldn't really function as individuals when they were young, and even if they could, they never tried it before they were forcably split in barovia. truly, i think of them so much as a single unit that it has never even crossed my mind to play ránon in any other group even though i haven't gotten to play him in over two years because i can't play ránon without riell. he doesn't exist without her.

23. What is their role in the party? Not just their class on a meta level, but among the individuals who make up your party?

in terms of class, rá is the party's warlock (pact of the blade). in terms of social roles, i think he was often the Face for the party because he had a 20 charisma stat and also because i was really comfortable roleplaying while about half the table was less inclined to it. and i also think he was a good bridge between the goofy/jokey half of the party and the serious/roleplay-heavy side of the party. we had a really huge group that had some mismatched styles of play/genre, and ránon sort of had one foot on either side of the gap. he was happy to hotbox leomund's tiny hut and play "never have i ever", but he also got to have a solid theological stance that governed his choices and he had some really dramatic and intense roleplay moments. (not that the people hotboxing didnt also have good roleplay moments!! we just didn't get around to accessing their backstories before the game fizzled out so they didnt get to show off the deeper sides they had)

28. If they could change their class(es), would they? To what?

i think he sometimes wishes he was a paladin like riell because he looks up to her, but realistically, no. he loves the relationship he has with the rq as a warlock and i don't think he would give that up.

31. Who are they when they aren't with the party?

rá is just a big hedonist partyboy (with theological reasoning for being that way). when he's not adventuring, he's exploring every pleasure life has to offer him and sharing that pleasure with those around him. and when he's not doing any of that, he's bothering riell or playing with his pet raven, cork.

35. What do they see in the dark?

literally? everything. he has darkvision askjgsldg

metaphorically, opportunity. the dark is a place for discovery, for exploration, for peace, for sex, for meditation, for the tender embrace of death, for dreams, for sleep, for stealing, for sneaking, for hiding your shame, for finally having a moment of quiet. the dark isn't scary or evil. it's just dark. and you can do and be and find anything in there if you're just willing to be enveloped by it and let your eyes adjust.

39. If someone could tell them anything about the future they asked, would they want to know? Would they ask?

ránon needs to know that riell lives longer than he does. he thinks she deserves it. his one stumbling block, theologically speaking, is his care for riell. he believes death will take you when it's your time, that nothing can prevent it or delay it or bring it on faster. you will die when you are meant to die, and that is a gift. death is freedom from the pain and chaos of life. death is comfort and closure and constant. but the thought of losing riell trips him up. he knows how to accept death, but he can't accept hers. he doesn't want her to go home before he does because he doesn't want to be alone. so he would ask if he dies first, and he would need that answer to be "yes".

#long post #ask meme #ránon

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theautumnisnoble · 3 years

Text

we'll learn to swim in the oceans you made

After listening to Shirtsleeves by Ed Sheeran this scenario immediately came into mind, also heavily inspired by Jenn Im's pregnancy youtube video titled, "We're Pregnant!"

[Also a very big thank you to A (@solhwippedsubs on twt and holdoutandwin on ao3) for beta-reading this. I love you my solhwi fluff confidant!]

Word Count: 2k words

"Wake up!" Sol removes the comforter that was covering his husband's body and started shaking him. "Han Joon Hwi, ireona!"

"Mmm, Sol-ah. Why?" Joon Hwi covered his eyes with his arm to shield them from the rays of sunlight and wondered why the love of his life was forcing him out of their bed so early in the morning.

"Ireona! Jebal.." Joon Hwi immediately shot up as Sol's voice started to crack and he examined her face. Sol teared up and Joon Hwi noticed she was holding something tightly, stick close to snapping into half.

"Babe, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Joon Hwi held both of her arms and looked up at her.

Sol had been so emotional these days, well, more than she usually is. Sol always has been a passionate ball of fury, but Joon Hwi especially had it rough this week. He doesn't find Sol annoying or tiring for any of that matter, but he would wonder why Sol would suddenly cry or get mad at him for absolutely no reason, and if there was, then he avoided asking it as when he did that one time, Sol only got more mad at him. There was also yesterday when Joon Hwi sprayed on himself the perfume that Sol gifted to him on their wedding anniversary last April and Sol suddenly pinched her nose close and walked outside of their bedroom. And now, Sol was in tears, sobbing, at 7 am in the morning.

"Babe.. I'm starting to worry. What's wrong?"

"I told you to be careful!!!" Sol lightly punched his shoulder and bawled.

Joon Hwi raised his arm and wiped her tears using the sleeves of his sweater, pulling on the cloth with his fingers. "What did I do wrong? Calm down for a sec and tell me.."

"Don't tell me to calm down!"

"O-okay." Joon Hwi surrendered for a while and let Sol release all of her emotions. Moments later, her sobs started to simmer down and Joon Hwi opened his arms wide. "C'mere."

Sol bended down and let Joon Hwi's arms circle around her. Her lower body slowly went closer to him and then she sat on his lap, her shoulder against his chest. Joon Hwi wiped down the dampness on her face and caressed her arm. "Now, babe, talk to me, okay? I'm never gonna know what I did wrong if you won't tell me."

Sol faced him and tried to form intelligent words. "Well, you—"

"Hmm?"

"I'm—" Her mouth started to form into a pout and tears started fall again from her eyes. "Joon Hwi-ah." She released sobs again and buried her face into his neck. Joon Hwi sighed and patted her arm.

"Babe—"

"I'm pregnant."

Joon Hwi paused his movements and pulled his head back away, lightly pushing Sol by her shoulders, to let Sol face him. Sol's eyes wandered down to her left hand and Joon Hwi followed them, then he grabbed the stick from her hand.

It was a pregnancy test. Two red-dyed lines. Positive.

Joon Hwi faced Sol, his lips starting to form into a smile. "Babe—"

"I told you to be careful!!" Sol again whimpered, tears still falling.

"W-what? Is it because I—"

"Nevermind!" Sol wiped her tears in a rash way and breathed out to calm herself down. "I-it's actually not your fault." Sol now realized the irrationality of her internal reasoning.

Joon Hwi held back a chuckle and tucked a hair behind his wife's ear.

"Remember April?"

"When we shared a sloppy kiss under the rain?" Joon Hwi tried to lighten the mood by reminding her how they had to walk all the way to the bus stop under the heavy pouring rain, just right after they had their wedding anniversary date at a fine dining restaurant four months ago. It was a funny, but sweet memory.

"No! Before that, when I got diagnosed with PCOS."

"Aah."

It left Sol and Joon Hwi almost hopeless for a child when she was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. But Sol, even before that, was convinced she didn't need to have kids and that she was satisfied with her life with Joon Hwi, content that they'd be that couple with no children. They were already busy with their very time-demanding jobs and Sol— she convinced herself she wouldn't be competent with the whole mothering a child thing. But after knowing her condition, the question, "should I?" turned to "could I?". The condition that would possibly rob her of the choice eventually made her think about how it wouldn't be so bad, because Joon Hwi was there. So after the news of her condition, she decided on one thing.

"A-after that I got off birth control." Joon Hwi nodded and listened to Sol, who was still tearing up a bit, and he also wiped down those tears when he could.

"Then yesterday, when I realized I wasn't on my period yet, I got to read my period calculator and saw that I- I was 16 days late." Sol exhaled for courage.

"Then I bought the pregnancy test." Sol paused and looked at Joon Hwi, and her face looked like she was about to burst again. Her lips were shaking and her eyes were still crystal with tears ready to fall. She was scared.

"You can take it slow, I'll be here. I won't stop listening." Sol released a small smile, tidied her face and tucked in her stray hairs, preparing to tell Joon Hwi more while also now trying to relax herself.

"I didn't know if I should take it though. I mean, everything would change if I was pregnant. But I did wanna know, I wanted to be certain. And it said that I should use my morning pee for it so I waited until morning."

"But you hardly even slept.." Joon Hwi recalls her wife tossing and turning beside him, and then ultimately giving up trying to sleep then went downstairs. He bets on Sol reading up on her cases, which works as an alternative sleeping pill for her.

Ever since she was diagnosed with PCOS, Sol really took effort into having a more healthy lifestyle— like exchanging coffee for matcha, this among other things, and also trying to get some more sleep. So Joon Hwi knew that Sol would definitely try to catch up on sleep.

"I did, a bit." She smiled. "So, after that I took it just earlier. A-and I tested positive." Sol's emotions now returned to her and she closed her eyes, her eyebrows furrowed and tears started to fall again.

"I'm scared." She looked at him. "I don't know if I'm gonna be a good mother. I feel like I should be happy or something, but I'm just really scared." Sol now covered her face with both palms and cried, Joon Hwi pulled her in to embrace her.

"Babe.." He patted her back.

"What if I try my best, and our kid still doesn't love me?" That was it. Sol released another wave of sobs and her body shook against Joon Hwi's embrace.

Sol thought she wasn't ready. Even if it was her choice to get off birth control, she didn't think she would immediately become pregnant. After all, her doctor said it was now almost impossible to be. In her mind, pregnancy would change everything— from how much devotion she has to her work to maybe how her and Joon Hwi's relationship would change, and maybe for the worst. And she didn't like change, her idealistic plans for her future would need to be altered, and she also didn't like how it would most likely change their marriage. She couldn't have that, she couldn't live with a ruined marriage because she didn't want anything to change between Joon Hwi and her, and she also couldn't live with her child possibly having to live through all that. And what if he gets tired of taking care of me? And tons of other doubts and insecurities showered her.

Why does my mind do this? Sol asked herself. Why can't I just be excited? Joon Hwi is the father of this child. I'm sure he's disappointed in me right now.

Joon Hwi pulled away after she calmed down. He wiped her face, again with his already damp shirtsleeves. He placed short kisses on her wet cheeks and cupped her face. "Sol, I believe in you."

Sol melted and her lips turned into a pout, her face still showing fear and uncertainty.

"I'm with you, whatever your decision is. I will be always there for you as I always have. If you arrive to whichever decision, I will give you my opinion but at the end I will always support you. If you don't want to have the baby, I'll still be here. If you want to try and see it through the end, I will be happy and help you every step of the way. I'm your husband Sol-ah. I know you don't trust yourself that much yet, but trust in me. "

Sol put her arms around him and hugged him tight. "I love you Sol. We'll take it slow, step by step. I know you're panicking right now, but there's no rush. We'll do it together. You're never gonna be alone. I'll be there every single step of the way. And I'm sure our kid will love you. You were an amazing older sister to Byeol and you still are, she adores you so I'm sure our kid will, too."

"I love you Joon Hwi. I love you so much. I love you."

"You love me that much?"

Sol pulled away, annoyed. Joon Hwi released a chuckle.

"I love you too."

"You sure I can do it?" Sol asked. "Being a mom? What if I'm going to be too busy for it?"

"We can always ask Byeol to babysit. Or your mom, she has said she already wants a grandchild."

"You always know the solution to things don't you?" Sol rolled her eyes.

"That's why I'm the perfect husband to the ever worrier Eomma Sol."

"Eomma Sol?" Sol raised her voice, taken aback by the sudden nickname.

"And I'm Appa Joon Hwi. " Then Sol bursted out, laughing. Her tears were now drying on her cheeks and she was more relaxed now.

"See? It's cute." I just wanted to see you smile. Joon Hwi thought.

Sol pulled him into a hug again. "You better not regret being a father to our child, Han Joon Hwi-ssi."

Joon Hwi let himself fall into bed, taking down Sol with her. They both laughed and Joon Hwi pulled her into a kiss, tasting the bitterness and sadness of her tears. They made out, feeling at home and Sol, feeling assured and loved by the person in front of her. Joon Hwi kissed her, tasting the ocean, drowning in the one she made.

"I will never regret it. I will fulfill all the promises I made on our wedding day, to be by your side, To support you, to be a loving husband, to be always there to annoy you—" Sol laughed, remembering his one-liner during their exchange of wedding vows. "To always wake and sleep beside you whenever I can, and to never leave your side." They both smiled at each other and Joon Hwi placed a kiss on her forehead. They pull each other close, feeling each other's warmth. And Sol is now close to slumber, fatigued after her nonstop crying.

"I'll be the happiest father to our child. Of course I will, you're the mother, after all."

#law school bingo #law school bingo: kissing in the rain #law school bingo: insecurity #law school bingo: wedding vows #law school bingo: anniversary #law school bingo: pregnancy #law school bingo: nicknames #law school fic fest #law school month #law school bingo: i just wanted to see you smile #Law School Bingo: Verdict

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nctseren · 3 years

Text

NCT 127 Takes a Friendship Test

[ or the one where Johnny, Jaehyun and Seren takes the friendship test ]

NCT 127

— FRIENDSHIP EXERCISES —

Seren stands in front of the camera, smiling as she looks at the staff and her members, suddenly feeling nervous.

"I've known Johnny for about," she takes a moment to think, "9 years. I remember that I was a shy girl, even with trainees around my age, everything was so new to me, including the country and language." She laughs a little. "So the first few weeks were awkward for me. But then, Johnny appeared. You see, I had heard of him, but I never really paid much attention.

My first impression of Johnny? Woah," She laughs, looking at him behind cameras. He's laughing, too. Well, she thinks, he was — is tall, but she's not sure that was her first thought. " I don't remember. But he was very nice. I guess he noticed that I was quiet. I do remember being happy and grateful. Ever since then treats me like a little sister. We have this joke that he opened my shell.

Seriously, his friendship means a lot to me. And I think this is going to be forever."

Jaehyun stands in front of the camera and he now understands why she was so nervous before. He assumes it's because of the staff: people he didn't know. But he also knows it's because she's watching.

"Serenity was," he smiles at the memories, "she was the cutest. I was very surprised when I met her because she seemed younger and her personality did not match the way people talked about her." He can see her trying to not laugh. "She was very cheerful —yes, you were. Even if she didn't know you, she would joke with you.

But our friendship... It took us a while."

He seems now embarrassed, but his smile grows even bigger. "My first impression was that she was definitely cute and cheerful. Right now, I think we are really close, she is my best friend — one of them." Jaehyun can see her nodding, like she's appreciating every word. "And her friendship is something I don't want to lose. Ever."

They both know he means it.

— EXERCISE ONE —

Hug for one minute.

Seren stands between the two, giggling nervously. "This is gonna be awkward."

"Ready?" Johnny asks, approaching the two.

Jaehyun, who seems to be mentally preparing for it, nods and the three of them get a little closer. "Okay, okay."

But Seren wasn't expecting that kind of hug (is it a hug?). "No, wait. What is this?" she laughs hard.

"Is it weird?" Jaehyun asks.

She looks at the camera, suddenly feeling like she's in an episode of The Office.

[...]

This time the three of them are embracing, holding on tight. It looks like they're slow dancing. When Seren notices that Johnny's hand is touching Jaehyun's butt, she says, "God, I have to live with this."

The three laugh softly and hug each other even tighter.

"Oh."

"Oh, it's so cozy."

It is, she thinks.

Johnny looks at the camera, laughing. "I was so cold before, but not anymore."

He is so tall that it seems that he is lifting them both.

"How does it feel?" someone from the staff asks.

"It feels like Christmas."

And again, they're laughing. She tries to look at the camera, as she says: "To be honest it's not weird, but it's not something the three of us do all the time. It feels good."

— EXERCISE TWO —

Give each other compliments.

"Please," Seren begins, looking at the staff, "If my face turns red, just... Don't show it."

"No, don't do that." says Johnny. He's looking at her, waiting for her to start.

She takes a deep breath and looks at her little notebook, the things she wrote about the two of them now make her nervous.

"Johnny, you are a great confidant."

He smiles, pleased. "Thank you! Jaehyun, you are a piece ..." he writes in the little notebook "of art."

"Wow."

Seren wants to roll her eyes but she can't help but laugh. Of course, they weren't going to take it completely seriously.

Jaehyun now looks at her. "Serenity, you are not only smart and pretty," he pauses to look at Johnny, who is whistling and laughing. "but you have a big heart, too."

She nods with a tiny smile, like she's saying thank you. "Jaehyun, you're comfortable to be around. And you're always there for your friends."

He smiles. "Now, Johnny ... You are ..."

"Yeah, tell me."

"Tall and handsome and sexy."

She wants to laugh, but decides that she's going to make fun of them later.

It's Johnny's turn. "Jaehyun, you have a very beautiful deep, sexy voice."

Seren agrees, but as soon as she remembers the cameras are on her, she turns red.

"Johnny, you are a genuine listener."

"Great," someone from the staff says, "how did that make you guys feel?"

"It was good." She smiles. "Jaehyun's red ears were worth it."

"Yes. And it was warm and cozy inside."

"Like winter."

— EXERCISE THREE —

Mirror each other's dance moves.

So they mirror each other's dance moves. First they mirror Johnny's dance moves, then Jaehyun's and finally, Seren's. They're laughing hard.

"We made it!" says Jaehyun.

"Mom, we made it!"

"Thank you, please never put me with them again."

#kpop added member #kpop addition #kpop female addition #kpop female idol #kpop oc #nct 127 added member #nct 127 addition #nct 22nd member #nct 24th member #nct added member #nct addition #nct oc #nct au #kpop female member

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"Clueless" *Part 2*

I feel bad because I actually have more of this written but if it doesn't end on a cliffhanger, what's the fun in that?

(y'all I can't help but add Tai gifs I'm sorry it's so appropriate 🤣)

Tag List:

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@wanniiieeee

@milkshqke

@aprildecker-blog

@word-scribbless

@objection-argumentative

@gibbs274

@stars-in-the-skies-world

Part 1

Part 3

---------------------

Rafael walked out onto the massive deck of the house. It housed a giant cabana lined with benches and pillows, complete with a tiki bar. Surprisingly it had not been overtaken by the party...yet.

You followed him into the cabana, where he promptly went behind the bar and fixed himself a scotch.

“What are you drinking?” He asked you.

You didn’t really drink a lot, but you didn’t want to look like a pansy. You racked your brain trying to remember any kind of drink you remembered seeing in movies.

“I’ll have a jack and coke,” You smiled nervously. He nodded and obliged, handing you the drink. You looked at it for a moment; it looked like a normal soda, how bad could that be? You took a big swig.

You were wrong-- it is VERY bad.

You almost choked as the burn of the whiskey fell down your throat, you looked around for napkins or something, praying to God this wasn’t how you were going to die-- trying and failing at impressing the most gorgeous man you’d seen in your life.

“Oh god, honey are you ok?” Rafael grabbed a water bottle and handed it to you. You grabbed it from him and chugged it quickly. Finally after a minute, you could breathe again and fully embrace the humiliation of what had just transpired. You didn’t want to look at him, you must have looked like an idiot choking on a cocktail like a prude. Ariel had taken you to enough parties in college, why hadn’t you practiced this before?

“Yeah I’m fine…” You muttered, staring into the deck floor.

“...Maybe light on the jack?” You could hear the smile in his voice. You looked up to see him holding another coke, with the Jack Daniels bottle in his hand. He ever so lightly splashed some whiskey into the glass and handed it to you. You sipped it this time, barely tasting the alcohol.

“...Thanks,” You smiled nervously, feeling your cheeks burn hotter by the second. Either you were the lightest lightweight on earth, or he made you nervous. You were pretty sure it was both.

“Not much of a drinker, are you?” He kept smiling at you as you shook your head NO.

“...Curiouser and curiouser,” He chuckled as he came back around the bar with his drink and nodded towards the pillowed benches. You followed and sat beside him on one, curling up your knees beside you like a mermaid tail.

“...What is?” You gave him a questionable look, waiting for an insult.

“You and Ariel’s relationship,” He gestured towards the house. “You don’t drink, you don’t party, you’re clearly WAY more intelligent,”

“...I know, she’s so awesome and I’m just--” You started to degrade yourself with a sad smile while pushing strands of hair behind your ear nervously.

“No no no,” He stopped you mid sentence, taking your hand. “Actually I was implying the opposite,”

Now you looked at him in even more confusion.

“I was going to say you’re way too good for her,” He finished with that amazing smile still on his lips.

You felt yourself go light headed; you seriously could not be this sensitive to alcohol, could you? You’d drank before, wine and champagne and what not. Even some jello shots at a few parties, where you couldn’t taste the alcohol at all. THAT was a bad night. But it couldn’t be the alcohol making you feel this way-- it had to be him.

“OH, um--” You snapped your hand back instinctively, any form of social intimacy freaked you out. But you instantly regretted it, missing the feeling of his warm skin on yours. So you fought your neurotic brain and moved it back forward slightly, where your fingers were still touching.

“No, um-- Ariel’s right,” You continued. “She saved me,”

“I highly doubt Ariel’s saved anyone in her life,”

“Hey! That’s my best friend you’re talking about!”

“....Sorry,” He apologized. “I just don’t see what you see, apparently,”

“She has a huge heart, really,” He gave you a skeptical look. “Really!” You insisted.

“Look-- When I got accepted to Harvard, I didn’t know that my scholarship only accounted for the tuition, NOTHING else. So I didn’t-- I hadn’t saved anything for loding,” You sipped your coke as you continued. “So, I begged the housing department for ANY kind of room they could give me, I even offered to sleep in the janitor’s closet!”

A laugh from Rafael caused you to stop talking and look down at the floor, instantly embarrassed again at your sad sack of a life. Instantly Rafael went for your hand again but paused, noting your uneasiness from before.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh at you,” He apologized. No one had ever cared enough to keep apologizing for YOUR lack of self esteem issues, flinching anytime anyone even coughed on you in an aggressive manner.

“No no, it’s fine, I just--” You now placed your hand over his, a feat in your social anxiety ridden brain. “It’s me, it’s not you,” You tried not to stare at your hands touching, but inside you were so proud of yourself and so happy to have his hand touching yours again, it was actually comforting.

“Anyway, um so--” You bit your lip nervously. “So I was just about to-- I don’t even know what, find a homeless shelter or a bridge, I guess,”

Rafael smiled in amusement and chuckled slightly, checking to make sure you weren’t thrown off by it again. You smiled and laughed at the thought of you dragging everything you owned to a bridge on campus to set up camp.

“But Ariel saw me, and took pity on me I guess?” You shrugged. You really weren’t sure of the thought process that went through Ariel’s head that night, you were just so grateful she had been there.

“She asked me if I had a place to stay and I said no, so she told me that she had a suite all to herself and that she really didn’t do well by herself and that she had just been heading to the housing department to ask for a roommate,” You smiled at the memory.

You weren’t entirely sure how true it was at the time, but knowing her as well as you do now, you knew she did NOT do well by herself. She was confident and full of self esteem to everyone else in the public, but when it was just the two of you she seemed almost...sad, most of the time. Like being happy was just the dress she put on to wear in the world.

“....I hadn’t thought about it like that,” Rafael said softly, now slightly regretting how snarky he was towards her most of the time.

“And now I know why,” You gestured towards the house. “That thing about her mom not wanting to ‘deal’ with her, I honestly don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have my parents,”

“Yeah, my mami and abuela are the two most important people in my life,” He nodded in agreement. “And Ariel...well, as far as I know, she’s never had a ‘dad’ stick, and her mom is just…” He paused. “Not really interested in her daughter,” He added with a sad shrug.

“...Your dad didn’t stick either? You asked cautiously, hoping you weren't prying.

“My dad…” He chuckled sarcastically. “My dad was...let’s just say life actually got better when he left,” He looked down. You saw pain and shame in his eyes, and you instantly empathized.

Not so much with the dad thing, but that constant nagging of shame and hurt. Which was totally unnecessary because you actually had the most loving family in the world, which only made you feel more guilt and shame, because you couldn’t appreciate it the way you were “supposed” to. It was just the way you were wired, and they understood that. But it didn’t help sway your guilt.

“He shacked up with Ariel’s mom for a few months and then took off with a LOT of her money,” He clenched his fists of the thought of the trail of destruction his father seemed to always leave behind.

“Luckily, Ariel’s mother didn’t associate myself with that asshole, although I’m pretty sure it’s because she wanted to replace him with me,” He shuddered at the memory of the several times Ariel’s mom had tried to “seduce” him when he was younger.

“Oh God,” You inadvertently made a grossed out face. The offended look on his face instantly made you panic. "Not like, you're gross. Just...she's gross. Hitting on a kid like that,"

"Oh I was ummm.." he chuckled nervously, looking towards the ocean. "I wasn't a kid per say," he coughed awkwardly.

"....How old were you?"

"I think I had just started at my first practice," he avoided the question. "She has a thing for lawyers. Probably becauses around them so often, always divorcing husbands,"

"So like, 28. And her mom was on husb--" You tried doing the math yourself.

"...I'm 15 years older than Ariel," He answered your mental question.

"Oh well, I mean that's cool," You smiled awkwardly. You failed to mention that you had graduated a year early in high school, so you were two years YOUNGER than Ariel.

"Uh huh," he raised an eyebrow with a chuckle.

"I get along with older people anyway," you said, than backpedaled immediately."I MEAN, not that you're old, just--"

"OldER," He kept his amused look at your faltering.

"I'm sorry, I wish I could blame this on the alcohol but I'm just…" you sighed. "Not made to interact with Humans,"

"Aw hey now come on," he punched your shoulder like a kid. "You're doing great, it's really cute," he smiled then realized what HE had just said, and backpedaled.

"I mean, endearing," he found a more suitable word, trying to hide the fact that he was probably a little buzzed and more attracted to you than he probably should be. However he noted the somewhat disappointed look you had when he corrected himself.

"You're probably the first person to think so,"

"Except Ariel, right?"

"She tolerates it, she definitely doesn't think it's 'cute'. She's tried to 'fix' me since we met,"

"Seriously?" "Who does she think she is--?" He started to get up like he was going to give her a "talking to".

"No no no, it's fine Rafael really," You stood up quickly and pulled on his arm gently, making him turn around quickly. You wondered if he had just felt that….reaction between you.

You were far too intellectual to believe in trivial things that people spoke about like a "spark", but in that moment you had to think to yourself maybe they had a point.

"Right, sorry," he nodded and quickly sat down. "I may be a little more buzzed than I thought,"

"No that was really sweet, honestly," you smiled softly. "I probably didn't explain it well," "She just wants the best for me,"

"You're perfect the way you are, Y/N," "I mean, you seem like a good kid,"

"Kid?" You were suddenly offended, though you weren't sure why. You'd always been thought of as a child, being younger than your peers most of your life. Always in higher classes in high school, younger than your college classmates. It had never bothered you before, not once.

But when Rafael called you a "kid", it felt like a gut punch, which made you feel even worse. You just met this guy, what was wrong with you?

"Person," he corrected himself. "I meant person," but the damage was done.

"....I should go check on Ariel, make sure she didn't get herself in a 'situation'," you turned to walk back into the house.

"Hey no wait Y/N, I thought we were--" He started to go after you but you put your hand up.

"No, really. I probably shouldn't have left her alone in the first place," You didn't even grab your drink you just waved your hands dismissively and disappeared back into the party before he could say anything else.

“....I guess I’ll sleep in my car,” He muttered to himself as he headed back around the house.

-----

The next morning Rafael had to leave early to get back to the city, but he had texted Ariel.

"Tell Y/N I'm sorry, and tell her if she has any questions about law to text me anytime, day or night,"

"What did that dick do to you?" She stomped into her bedroom, where you were sleeping.

"What? Your bro-- Rafael? Nothing! He didn't do anything!" Your head snapped up instantly awake.

"Well what's he apologizing for?" She held out her phone; you didn’t have your contacts in so you couldn’t read it.

"...For calling me a kid," You shrugged sadly.

"Oh. Well you ARE a kid, sweets" Ariel instantly dropped her anger into her happy self, patting you on the head like a dog.

"No I'm not…." You muttered. "Did he say anything else?"

Ariel didn't like the idea of that pompous prick getting his claws in you, she didn't like it one bit.

"Nope," she lied.

"Oh," you replied sadly.

"Oh please don't tell me you care what what that bonehead thinks" she scoffed. "He thinks he's some 'big deal' because he has a fancy title,"

"No he doesn't," You instantly defended him, though you weren’t sure why. Weren’t you mad at him? No, actually you were kicking yourself for taking it so hard and just leaving him on the beach. You could have stayed there talking to him all night.

"Oh no, he got to you didn't you?" She acted concerned. "ugh I knew it, I should have warned you,"

"Warned me?" You looked at her confused.

"Yeah, it's what he does," she continued to lie. "He likes to seduce my friends for sport," She continued to spin a web of deceit.

"I...I don't believe you," You mumbled. You had never dared to even slightly disagree with Ariel, terrified anything would set her off and she’d “disown” you.

"Excuse me?” Her head whipped around.

"I don't believe you," you repeated. Her eyes widened with shock at your defiance. She almost lost it on you, before realizing honey worked better than vinegar.

"Honey, think about it," She came around and sit next to you on the bed. "He reeled you in and then called you 'kid'. Probably because you started making heart eyes at him, right?"

"I don't, it wasn't--" You tried recalling every single detail of the interaction.

"See? He just likes the sport of getting women to fawn over him and then move on,"

"But then why did he apologize?" You pointed out, still not sure of her accusations.

"Probably because you're my best friend and he knew I'd kick his ass for hurting your feelings,"

"But--" You were sure it had been YOU who walked away from HIM. But...he didn’t come after you. Maybe he was satisfied with making you upset?

"He didn't ask me to give you his number," she flat out lied. "He obviously didn't want any more contact with you sweetie,"

She had a point. She smiled in victory when she saw the determination and hope in your eyes dissolve into sadness.

"I'm sorry, honey, I should have warned you," she feigned sympathy, pulling you into a tight hug. "Now let's get that skeezer out of your mind," she grabbed your hand and pulled you away.

------

A few days later

Rafael was bewildered that you hadn't contacted him. Did he imagine the connection you two seemed to have? Was he more intoxicated than he thought? No, that wasnt possible. Had he really hurt you that much by calling you a kid? And if so, why? Did you feel something that would hate for you to see her as a kid?

He decided to text Ariel.

"Hey...did you tell Y/N what I said?"

"Yes. She said to fuck off. You must have really pissed her off BRO."

That didn't seem right. That didn't even sound like something you'd say. It sounded like something his evil stepsister would say.

"Did she say that or did you say that?"

"Stay away from my friends, and get your own you perv,"

He knew it. She probably didn't even give you his number. “Oh god,” he thought. What if she hadn't said anything at ALL?

He needed a plan.

#rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #law and order svu

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fitzs-trained-monkey · 3 years

Text

Chapter Nine: Sleep Peacefully

(Image not mine)

Rated: PG

~What story should I tell? Will it end happy, will it turn out well? What dreams do I own? Can I call any place my home?

And I rock myself to sleep, and I tell myself "don't get caught too deep" 'Cause I know by now, you're here for me.

And I tell myself "move along" and I tell myself "you were all wrong" But I know by now, wrong was right for me.

I'll sleep peacefully~

The black paved road of the near-empty highway stretched out in front of us, a stark contrast to the piles of glittering snow that the snowplows had pushed off the street. We had been on the road for 9 hours and were now somewhere in Iowa. The area we were now driving through was so much brighter than Copper Harbor ever was. There wasn't so much as a cloud to be seen in the sky. The last few orange rays of light from the setting sun sprinkled across the landscape as it dipped below the horizon, glittering and reflecting off hills blanketed in white. The sight almost hurt my eyes. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. Whipping out my phone I snapped as many pictures as I possibly could, though I knew they would never do justice to the spectacular view.

The sun sank lower and lower and eventually vanished beneath the horizon. Then the stars came out. Scattered across the black velvet sky, they were so numerous it seemed impossible. I could see the differences in colors and size, and I could trace the shape of the Milky-Way. There were no trees or streetlamps lining the Iowa highway and it felt as if I was swimming through inky blackness, like I was swimming between the stars. The glittering lights were so bright and so close. It was special sort of magical.

I rested my elbows on my knees and my head between my hands and stared out the windshield at the beautiful black expanse. On my right, Castiel copied my position.

"Jack tells me you like the stars," he said. Upon hearing his name, Jack briefly looked to me and smiled before turning his gaze back to the window. I had been drifting in and out of conversation with various partners throughout the car ride.

"I do, I love them," I kept my voice soft and my answer simple, "I've never seen so many at once before. I don't think I'll ever get used to it." Castiel smiled softly.

"You know, I am several billion years old, and I am still baffled by the magnificence of this universe. Sights like this, they never get old." I turned my head away from the bright lights in the sky to look at the angel beside me.

"Have you been up there?"

He nodded.

"Yes, I have."

"What's it like?"

Castiel sighed in a melancholy sort of way. I could see the reflection of all those stars gleaming in his eyes.

"It's more beautiful than you can imagine."

I nodded and gazed back out at view of the heavens.

"I wish I could live up there."

Castiel chuckled.

"Someday you might. Who knows what will happen?" He said.

"Yeah."

"However," he added, "As for right now, I think you need to get some rest."

"Nah, sleep is for the weak." At that moment I yawned, emphasizing my point. Dean glanced at me in the rear-view mirror.

"We can pull off and stop at a motel overnight if you need some sleep," He offered. I shook my head and tried to blink away my sleepiness.

"Don't stop on my account! I can sleep in the car," I insisted.

"You sure?" Dean asked. I gave him a thumbs up.

"Oh yeah. I actually sleep better in cars, if you can believe it. Something about the noise and the motion puts me to sleep like a baby, I'm all good." For once I told the truth. I really did sleep better in cars.

"Okay, as long as you're comfy, we've got about eight more hours till' we get there." Dean turned down the volume on whatever album we'd been listening to all day. I'd never been a fan of rock music, but some of Dean's songs weren't that bad.

"We'll try to be quiet for you, Marty," Sam said. I yawned again and rubbed my eyes.

"Thanks guys, for everything. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time I had a good night's sleep."

"You're welcome, kid. This is what we do. Now shut your eyes." Dean mock commanded. I rolled them instead and turned to Jack.

"Jack?" I said to get his attention.

"Hm?"

"What are your feelings on being used as a pillow?" Jack's face was painted with all shades of confusion.

"I-I don't, um, I-" He tried to answer but I cut him off with a wave of my hand.

"I'm just kidding," I explained. "You don't have a choice in the matter!"

I grabbed his arm and tugged it around my shoulders so I could lay my head on his chest. Jack's entire body stiffened, and he looked to Cas with an expression that said 'Help me, she's doing something weird. Tell me what to do'. Castiel merely shrugged and in the front seat Dean snorted. I chuckled and waited for Jack to shift around a bit and get comfortable before I closed my eyes.

"You're a comfy pillow," I remarked.

"Um, thank you?"

I couldn't see his face, but Jack sounded extremely confused. I decided then that I needed something to hold on to. It took me a few moments to feel around for his arm but when I found it, I gripped his hand and held it up.

"This is mine now."

Wrapping his arm around my waist, I tangled our fingers together and smirked when I felt Jack chuckle and wrap his other arm around me in a way that was friendly and natural.

"If this keeps up, I think we're gonna have to have a talk with Jack about a thing or two." I heard Dean whisper to Sam.

"I heard that."

"Shut up, Mcfly. You're supposed to be sleeping." He scolded, teasingly. I kept my eyes closed but stuck out my tongue at him. I smiled when I heard him laugh.

"Goodnight, guys."

"Goodnight." Dean, Sam and Cas chimed together.

"Sweet dreams, Marty," Jack whispered.

With that, I let myself slowly drift into oblivion's velvet embrace.

***

"Is she asleep, yet?" Dean asked in a whisper, peering in the mirror at the sleeping girl.

"Um, I'm not sure." Jack craned his neck in an effort to find out, but he just couldn't tell.

"I'm trying, Mom," Marty mumbled into Jack's chest. That made him grin.

"From that I'd say, she's close."

"I'm not your mom, Marty," Dean sighed.

"Sorry, dad." She murmured. Dean just shrugged.

"Well, that's a little closer I guess," He said, his lips twitching with a tiny smile.

"Say, Jack, when's the last time you slept?" Sam asked, turning in his seat to face Jack who's face scrunched up as he thought about his answer.

"Four days ago, I think." He replied. Now that he thought about it, Jack realized just how tired he was.

"Dude. Sleep. Now." Dean ordered. Jack blinked a few times and yawned.

"No, I can wait." He yawned again.

"Jack..." Cas pressed.

"I can't go to sleep yet," Jack insisted.

"Why not? Marty back there did it just fine," Dean said.

"Gimmie back my socks, Biden," Marty mumbled.

"See? Out like a flickering lightbulb." Dean joked.

"No, you don't get it. I can't go to sleep, she's right here. She'd think I'm weird or something." Jack worried.

"Well, you're not exactly normal, Jack." Cas muttered under his breath.

"Look, she's the one sleeping on you kid." Dean paused, glancing at the others in the car. "That came out wrong. The point is, she clearly doesn't know the meaning of personal space. Just go for it." He finished, refocusing on the road.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked. Dean's eyeroll was nearly audible.

"Go to sleep, Jack. She ain't gonna care."

Jack nodded.

Snow began to fall on the roof of the Impala with a tip, tip, tipping noise as Jack rested his head atop Marty's. Her hair was soft under his cheek and he matched his breathing with the gentle rise and fall of her chest.

"I love that sound," She sighed, in her half-asleep stupor. Jack guessed she was referring to the sound of the falling snow.

"Me too," he whispered, closing his eyes and drifting off to the same place as the girl beside him.

***

"Jack."

...

"Jack!"

...

"You have got to be kidding me... JACK!"

Jack woke with a start. Blinking rapidly, he attempted to make sense of the world around him. Confusion washed over him as he could have sworn, he had fallen asleep in the Impala next to Marty. But he wasn't there anymore. In fact, he wasn't sure where he was.

Everything was white. The walls, the ceiling, the floor. Well, actually this place didn’t really seem to have walls or a ceiling or a floor. It was all just white, stretching off forever. Behind Jack somebody coughed.

"Behind you," They said, sounding rather annoyed.

Jack turned around slowly and cautiously. Standing in front of him now stood Marty. Her tiny hands on her slim hips and her face twisting into a frown that was somehow amused and annoyed at the same time. She raised her eyebrows at him, and her foot tapped rapidly on whatever surface it was that they seemed to be standing on.

"Heya, Jack." Marty smirked.

Jack's eyes shifted nervously left and right. His hand reached up on its own accord to rub at the knot he felt in his chest. He got the distinct impression that something here wasn't right. He planned to figure out what was going on as soon as he could determine where exactly 'here' was.

"Don't worry Jack, it’s just us. Or, I should say, it’s just you," Marty said, clarifying and confusing things for Jack at the same time. Jack shifted his gaze back to the girl in front of him.

"Where are we?" He asked, his brows drawing together. Marty smiled at him pleasantly.

"We're inside your head!" She answered.

"What?" Jack wondered how she could answer his question while giving him so many more at the same time. She giggled a bit at his confused expression. Spreading her arms like wings, she spun in a circle.

"Look around, Jack! It’s so big! You should be proud!" She stopped spinning to grin at him. The line between Jack's eyebrows and his confusion were deepening quickly. Marty tapped her chin and looked upward with a smirk, as if thinking about something. "But we really should both be proud." She mused.

"Marty, what's going on? Are you okay?" Jack took a step towards the girl reaching his hand out. Marty flicked her eyes up and down between him and his outstretched hand, her expression darkened. She held up her hands in a defensive gesture as she took a few sauntering steps back.

"First of all, I'm not Marty," She stated, evenly. Jack's position instantly switched from inviting to aggressive. He bent his knees and widened his stance, shifting his weight onto the balls of his feet, readying himself for a fight.

"Who are you?! Where is she?! What did you do to her?!" He demanded. His eyes pulsed with an orange light as he prepared to use his powers. The person in front of him, who apparently wasn't Marty, put a hand on her chest, gasping with obvious mockery.

"You wound me, Jack! You're not even going to ask who I am? I thought we were better friends than this." She closed her eyes and shook her head, sighing in an obnoxious and sarcastic way. Jack wasn't having any of this thing's games. He clenched his teeth and raised his hand threateningly.

"Where's Marty?" He growled, trying his best to imitate Sam, Dean, or Cas when they were in similar positions. The not-Marty just rolled her eyes, like she was bored.

"Yeah, no. We ain't doing that in here." She frowned, waving her hand simply. Jack scowled and tried to blast her back with his power, but he abruptly realized that he couldn't. Nothing was happening. She had taken his powers away. His eyes snapped open wide and he stared at his hand. Now he was the one taking a few steps back.

"W-what? I-" Jack stuttered. The not-Marty crossed her arms and leaned back on her heels, taking on a much more relaxed position.

"I think we got off on the wrong foot here, Jack. Can we start over?" She tilted her head and smiled pleasantly at him before sitting cross-legged on the ground. Jack nodded at her with a distrusting expression but hesitantly copied her position.

"Thank you, Jack. I'm sorry about the attitude earlier, it's just that, with this form you gave me, her personality and came with it and then there was your expectations and perception to deal with, so I had to battle through that. I'm very sorry, but I think we're all good now."

Jack was struck by just how pretty the pleasant smile on her face was and had to remind himself that it wasn't really Marty.

"What do you mean? Who are you?" He asked, expecting another vague and confusing answer. The girl giggled, her laugh sounded exactly like Marty's bubbling, wind chime laugh.

"I'm you, Jack!" She replied, brightly.

"No, you're not- you can't- how can you be me? I don't understand," Jack shook his head, bewildered. The girl giggled again.

"I'm not you you, of course. I'm your conscience! Or your sub-conscious or whatever, really." Jack didn't know what to say. Not-Marty leaned forward as if to tell him a secret. "Ya remember what I said about us being inside your head?" She reminded him.

"So, this is a dream?" He asked. She nodded.

"You could call it that, yes. So, you don't have to worry about Marty. When you wake up, she'll be right were you left her, safe, sound, and all cuddled up in your arms." She wrapped her arms around herself, jokingly. Jack nodded, sighing with relief, now he could figure out the rest of this weirdness.

"If you're my conscience, why do you look like Marty?" Was his next question. The girl claiming to be his conscience shrugged.

"You were thinking about her when you fell asleep. It's that simple." Jack nodded slowly.

"This is confusing," he stated. The girl just nodded.

"It is. Let's make it a little less confusing, shall we?" She stretched her hand out for him to shake, "I'm not Marty so how bout' you call me Cricket?"

"Why Cricket?"

"Like Jiminy Cricket! From Pinocchio!" She cheered. Jack took her hand and shook it firmly, still not completely sure he trusted all she was saying.

"Hello Cricket, it's nice to meet you?" He said, more as a question than a statement.

"It's nice to meet you too, Jack!" Cricket giggled for a moment before sobering up in a snap, "But we need to have a talk," She said, her voice grave.

"About what?" Asked Jack, carefully. Cricket chuckled at his apprehensive tone.

"Relax kiddo, it's not like I'm mad at you!" She reassured him.

"Then why am I here? What do we need to talk about?" Cricket frowned; her expression dark.

"We need to talk about Marty," She said. Jack narrowed his eyes.

"What about Marty?"

"There's something off about that girl, but I don't know what it is," Cricket answered.

"Why not?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Well, if you don't know, then I don't know, and we don't know!" She he exclaimed.

"Oh."

"But I'm telling you, all five-foot-two of this," Cricket gestured at Marty's body, "Isn't what it seems." Jack frowned.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, Martina is dangerous," Cricket deadpanned.

"No! She's my friend! She's not dangerous!" Jack protested. Cricket raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Really? How much do you actually know about her? You don't even know her full name," She pointed out, her voice harsh. "She's keeping secrets, Jack."

"No."

"Don't make me the villain here, Jack. You're making me the villain, I'm not!"

"Stop! Get out of my head!" Jack shouted.

"Jack, listen to me. I'm you and I'm trying to protect us!" Jack scrambled to his feet, shaking his head.

"I don't believe you!" The girl in front of him stood too.

"If you won't listen to me, then maybe you'll listen to mom." Then Marty was gone. Standing in her place was Kelly Kline.

"Mom?" Jack whispered he couldn't stop himself inching forward. Kelly opened her arms.

"Jack! Please listen to me, you can't trust that girl. I know she's your friend, but you need to look-" Jack cut her off.

"You're not real!" He said, backing away. In an instant, Kelly was gone, and Cricket came back.

"Fine, suit yourself." Cricket's glared was ferocious and her voice was cruel. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

Jack blinked and when he opened his eyes, Cricket was gone.

***

"We should probably wake em' up," Sam whispered as the Impala rounded the turn off on the dirt road that led to the bunker.

"Wait! Cas, do me a favor," Dean said passing his phone to the angel in the back seat, "take a picture of those two." Jack and Marty were still fast asleep. The only thing that had changed in eight hours on the road was that Marty had grabbed a hand full of Jack's shirt. Taking the phone from Dean's hand, Cas snapped three pictures of the sleeping duo.

"Here." He passed the phone back to Dean who took his eyes off the road to observe the pictures.

"Awesome." Dean grinned. "These are going in the black-mail folder."

"In the what?" Sam asked.

"The black-mail folder, Sammy. You don't have one?"

"Uh, no."

"Your loss," Dean shrugged, turning his attention back to driving. The car was quiet for a few minutes.

"So, what's in the black-mail folder?" Sam asked after a bit. Dean smirked at his brother.

"You'll find out," He said, ominously, "Next time I want something, you'll find out."

Sam decided in that moment that he did not want to find out what was in Dean's black mail folder. As the bunker came into view, Castiel reached over and shook the shoulders of the sleeping pair next to him.

"Jack, Marty, we're here," Cas urged, gently. Jack eye's opened and he blinked the tiredness from them, his neck was stiff, so he stretched it out. Marty, however, did not wake nearly as easily.

"Martina." Cas shook her shoulder again.

"Hmm?"

"Wake up."

"Five more minutes." She murmured. Jack chuckled at her antics.

"Marty, wake up. We're home." Marty's big grey eyes fluttered open and she turned her head to look up at Jack.

"Home?" She sighed.

"Yeah, home," Jack said. Marty sat up and yawned, stretching her arms and rubbing her eyes.

"Home sounds pretty good."

~What story should I tell? Will it end happy? Will it turn out well? What dreams do I own? Can I call any place my home?

And I rock myself to sleep And I tell myself "Don't fall to deep" Cause I know by now You're not comin' for me

And I tell myself "Move along" And I tell myself "You were all wrong" But I know by now Wrong was right for me

I'll sleep peacefully~

Lyrics from: Sleep Peacefully by Lilly Kershaw

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echo-three-one · 3 years

Text

Whatever It Takes : RELOADED

Let's make the next chapter pink.

Table of Contents

Previous Chapter : Undying Admiration

Chapter 21 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️

back at it again with the piccrew

If I Remember Correctly

Maxine Winters

Safe House 110197, Brazil

Maxine looked at Samantha and smiled. They were finally together once again, as roommates, but this time, the room was huge and they were surrounded by strong men who were willing to risk their lives to protect them.

"How are you holding up?" Maxine asked.

"Everything's a swirl of hazy incomplete memories. It feels like I'm mostly recalling them back, but the details are a bit mixed. It doesn't feel right that I recall Alex as someone from work, right?" she chuckled. She must've been going through a lot of things right now, and it looked like Alex successfully helped her recall most of her forgotten memories. Maybe all she needed was someone to influence her.

"Hey Sam, what kinds of things have I told you about my past? France already told me some of my unforgettable memories but they still seem too unclear." She asked, Samantha looked excited as she began recalling something from the unaltered part of her memory.

"Well, for starters you told me a lot about your little sister. However since your mother died, the two of you were always together solving the problems as a team until you both decided to enlist her in the army. You told it was both the happiest and saddest moment of your life." She said with a smile on her face. Maxine never felt anything but knowing that that was their situation, it made sense how France was trying hard to win her back. She was the only one she had. And it must've hurt that the only companion she ever had didn't even remember her.

"I… I didn't know that…" she faltered. Samantha quickly reached out a hand to hold hers.

"Just take your time to remember… I'm sure France understands the situation." Samantha replied, turning to the door as it slowly pushed itself open. Alex peeked from the said door and asked.

"Am I disturbing any girl talk?"

"A little. But I'll forgive you for now." Samantha grinned as Alex entered the room, dressed in comfortable sleeping wear.

"I made a deal with France to swap sleeping positions for tonight. Make sure skipping tomorrow's pancake will be worth it." he winked as he settled behind Samantha, the spooning was awkward as his metal leg was unbendable and heavy, but Maxine noticed the smile in Samantha's eyes and how it quickly forgot the uncomfort he was giving her. Maybe that's true love.

"Aw… I was about to add extra honey to your plate, Alex. What you did to Samantha was the sweetest thing ever. I guess France is up for a treat." She joked, making the girls giggle while Alex furrowed his brows.

"Well then, this night better be worth it." He proceeded to tickle Samantha and they found themselves rolling and rolling. Maxine took a minute to admire the scenery before her eyes slowly closed itself to sleep.

Ever since being brainwashed, Maxine wasn't able to dream of something, every morning she would be greeted by the same empty feeling, her thoughts would always consist of recent events.

This night was different. She vividly recalled a rainy afternoon. She and Francine stood by their mother's grave.

"I'm going to the army next week, Mom. It might take a while since I'll be seeing you again." Francine knelt and placed a small floral pot they arranged.

"Yeah Mom, your daughter finally used her toughness somewhere other than fighting me!" She remembered herself joking and nudging her sister. These were things that they did on a weekly basis, visit their mother’s grave and talk about their week.

“And since she’s out training for the rest of her life, I decided to move to California, maybe look for restaurants to work on maybe look for someone special.” Maxine mused. She could hear France giggle.

“I, on the other hand, won’t let myself fall for any of those tough army men.” France added.

“Are you sure about that? It’s like… turning down a million dollar offer.” Maxine teased.

“It really depends on the person. But while I’m in training, I’ll focus on improving.” She amended.

Then the memory faded, it felt like tv static started to consume her whole dream until she found herself awake, gasping for air.

“You okay?” Alex groggily asked her, cuddling Samantha who was sound asleep. She nodded and got up, she felt very thirsty.

Maxine hurriedly walked down the stairs quietly passing the empty command center. Oddly enough, the kitchen light was open and she could hear soft clanking of cutlery. She took a peek at Gary Sandersom, who’s sticking his tongue out and too busy making finishing touches on a cake of sorts. She knew they didn't have the right mould for basic pastries but seeing him actually holding a cake, surprised her.

“So this is the reason I wake up to missing ingredients.” She spoke firmly and crossed her arms, walking closely to Roach who scrambled and immediately hid the cake behind him.

“I’m just trying out new stuff. Baking looked fun.” He lied, stepping further back until his butt hit the sink.

“I already saw what you’re working on Gary. How did you form the shape? We didn’t have any mold.”

“When there’s a will, there’s a way.” He smiled proudly and showed her his cake. It was cylindrical, almost like that of a

“Mugs.” he explained as Maxine crept closer to his work, her eyes probed around it like a judge from masterchef.

“Wow. This looks nice. Is this for you?” she asked, feeling Gary’s body shake differently.

“Actually, it’s for you… France told me about your birthday and since I already missed it. I wanted to share one with you. You know… for uh… formality.” he stuttered. It was obvious that Gary was nervous. She felt this ever since they started cooking together, and she noticed that he was improving around her.

“Aww… thanks. No one’s ever baked a cake for me. Samantha just buys them.” Maxine chuckled and sat on the chair as Gary pulled out a candle and lit it.

“I’m supposed to give you one before we leave tomorrow. I guess you got too excited.” he laughed nervously and gently placed his hand on her shoulder. Maxine gently reached for the hand and grazed it softly, smiling at Gary’s excited face.

“Make a wish.” Gary whispered, his minty breath tickled her nose. Maxine closed her eyes as the warm flame heated her cheeks. She would have wished for something personal, but instead she wished for something she thought needed to happen first.

“I wish… that this war will be over.” she opened her eyes and blew her candle as Roach silently clapped and cheered.

“Belated Happy Birthday Maxine.” He greeted with a warm hug, Maxine slowly gave in to his embrace and faced him. Tension sparked in the air between them as the chemicals moving between them started to react to each other, drawing their lips closer to each other. It was almost automatic, none of them held back as their lips clashed into a soft yet intense kiss. Their tongues were too shy to act but the lips were eager to meet again, soft smooches filled the quiet kitchen as their hands started to climb up to their faces.

“I.. um..” Gary shyly held back, his hands parted from her cheeks as they both stepped back from each other.

“It’s okay…" She whispered quickly, turning back to get herself a glass of water to calm herself from her nightmare and to cool off the heat of her body.

"I take it you're going back to bed?" Gary asked, leaning his arms across the table, looking at the cake.

"I think I can't sleep after that dream." She muttered. The reply signaled Roach to grab a fork and sit beside her.

"Dream? You're having dreams now?" Roach asked curiously, taking a slice off the cake and pointing the fork to her mouth.

"Yeah." Maxine continued with a vivid description of her dream, Roach momentarily spoon feeding her with cake every after thought.

Maxine actually stayed all morning talking to Roach, they discussed mostly about her dream and Roach was there to listen. He was what Maxine needed at the moment, a great listener who happened to be someone she's starting to fall for. She could also feel him growing close to her, that wasn't just any birthday kiss… I felt something else.

Maxine was almost jealous of Roach's colorful life. He shared so much of him that she actually felt guilty that she was only able to share one. He had lots of stories involving encounters with animals and most of it was about his dog.

"If you were to choose… Which animal would you prefer as a pet?" Gary asked curiously. The question made Maxine stop and think, admiring the slowly rising sun as she goes.

"Parrots sound fun. They talk back."

"Only if you teach them to…" Gary responded. He always does that, he's adding comments to her replies until they both agreed on a thing.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Maxine finally asked.

"Do what?"

"You know, influencing me to agree on your opinion?"

"I just want you to think I actually have something to say… Plus it keeps the conversation going… because I never really wanted it to stop." He smiled.

"Oi, Roach. Why is there no hot water yet?" Price yelled.

"Hang on Captain! The kettle isn't whistling yet!" Roach replied running to the kitchen leaving an amazed Maxine behind. A few minutes later Francine approached her.

No words were spoken as Maxine immediately wrapped her sister around her arms, she was really all she had and she was guilty that she couldn't remember her when they first met.

"I'm glad you found me… even amidst this mess." Maxine whispered to France's ears. She could feel her tears falling on her as they enjoyed the tender moment of their reunion.

"I remembered only one memory. Of us before we separated and lived independently. I think it's all I needed to truly tell who I am." Maxine said as Francine sobbed.

"I love you sis." France hugged again as they both cried.

Next Chapter : Going Dark Part 1

Notification Squad my Beloved

@smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @enderio @whimsywispsblog @beemybee @ricinbach

#horrayfic #john soap mactavish #john price #simon ghost riley #alex echo 3 1 #gary roach sanderson

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soft-hard-peaches · 4 years

Text

Drabble: Jealousy

·Hongjoong✔·Seonghwa✔·Yunho✔·Yeosang✔·San✔·Wooyoung✔·Mingi✔·Jongho✔

~fluff~~a bit of angst~

Jongho

You pucker your lips as you blow out your candles. The room fills with cheers and praises from both your friends. The slight smell of birthday candle smoke fills the surrounding area but with the festivities, no one seems to mind. The room brightens up to display your perfect smile, the smile he fell for. Your best friend places the cake back on the table to slice it while everyone crowds you to say their "happy birthdays" and give you hugs and what-nots but Jongho stays behind till the crowd dies down, not being the one to fight for attention. But he does want your attention.

Jongho didn't know it till it happened. Actually, he doesn't really know how to feel still. Does he like you? For sure. Do you make him flustered? Extremely. Does your company make him happy? Yes. Does your company also make him nervous? Also yes. But does he love you? He's unsure...

"Jongho!", you shouted at him, beckoning him with a big smile, the smile he gets weak over. You make eye contact with him confirming him to go to you, so he makes his way. Jongho was nervous but you're his friend so he easily approaches you. "Happy birthd-", his greeting was abruptly interrupted by someone. "Y/n, I can't believe you're 21 now!", the boisterous mystery man slides in front of Jongho to hug you tight, causing Jongho to go meek and turn around to find Wooyoung, who's eating a slice of the cake on the farthest sofa.

Dejected, Jongho plops down beside his hyung looking for comfort without having to ask, good thing Wooyoung senses his vibe. With a mouth full of cake he examines the situation, "Yah... Who's that dude hugging Y/n? I've never seen him before." Same, Jongho doesn't recall seeing this guy ever but he seems extremely familiar with you, "Do you think he's her relative or something?" “Yeah or something...”, Wooyoung’s response confuses him till he looked up to see the mystery man’s hands wrapped around your waist, looking down at you with a smirk. The nauseating site turns the poor boy’s stomach so much so that he turned down the cake that was offered to him. The worst part was the smile you gave him. A smile he wanted to be only his.

Feeling bad about the problematic situation, Wooyoung finishes his cake and grabs his friend to go and socialize, attempting to get his mind off you, and after a while it seems to work. The party goes on and Jongho pushes you to the back of his mind so he can enjoy himself. Somehow, his apple trick is brought up and there is a crowed around the shy boy asking him to break random fruits for entertainment, honestly he does it so often that he doesn't mind. With his energetic friend cheering him on, he breaks whatever is handed to him no one is wondering why there is so many fruits at this party i guess.This trick soon brings your attention and you leave your “friend” to see the commotion. “Whoa, Jongho!”, you gain his attention, “How did you discover this talent?” Now nervous by your presences, he sheepishly answered, making you laugh. He doesn't remember what he responded with but by his hyung’s face, he assumes it wasn’t too smooth. Watching you bend down to pick up some halved fruits he bends down too, insisting you shouldn’t work on your birthday but you both ended you cleaning up together with the help of a few others.

You ushered them all to the kitchen to throw away the broken pieces. Everyone who helped exited the kitchen promptly to go back to the party leaving you two there alone. “Happy Birthday. I didn’t get to say it earlier cuz...”, he trails off, looking at the ground meekly. You apologize blushing, also looking at the ground. “That was an old friend from high school. He came back to town this weekend for my birthday.” He doesn’t know if that makes him feel better or not but you change the subject and you two talked in the kitchen for a while. Even with party-goers passing by, you two payed them little mind. Seeing the physical distance between you both, Wooyoung walks into the room and ask you to move over so he can grab the extra napkins that he “needed” making you slide close to the blushing Jongho. Feeling like his work here was done, he smiles affectedly and walks off back into the party.

You both laugh awkwardly at the close distance but neither moves, keeping the close proximity. You two look at one another for a moment seemingly admiring each other. You finally fill the empty space vocally with an upfront question. “Jongho, how do you feel about me?”, the sheer confidence flusters the poor boy so he laughs with a gummy smile not knowing what to say. “Do you like me?”, you persist.

“Of course. If I didn’t like you we wouldn’t be friends.” He dodges.

Looking a bit defeated, “Only as friends?”, you ask.

Jongho looks away from you but catches the glance of your mystery friend, who’s approaching the room you're both inhabiting. The concentrated energy in his nervous stomach moves to his throat, almost choking him. Fearing the mysterious man will take you away, he confesses.

“You are much more than any friend, Y/n. No one makes me as happy or crazy as you do.” His gaze moves to look into your eyes, “I want to be more than friends with you.” Smiling, you grabbed is sleeve to pull him into an embrace as your friend walks in. Jongho sizes him up.

“Hey, hey. Come meet my boyfriend, Choi Jongho.”, you introduce, now squeezing your newly boyfriend’s hand with pride.

Note: that completes the Jealousy series! Thanks for the support and follow for any new series :3

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cocastyle · 4 years

Text

Change - Ch. 2 | T W O

Pairing - Bill Denbrough x reader

Word Count - 5,383

A/N - another chapter because I felt really inspired to write! it’s finally time for the reunion and ahh the feels 🥺 also, please let me know what you all think so far and what your thoughts are about Greyson. I honestly love him and his character throughout this half of the series is just so cute in my opinion. this chapter will have tons of feels with the reunion, but fair warning that the next chapter is going to pull at the heart strings even more and I think you all know why.

if you would like to be added to the tag list for this series let me know!

C H A N G E

Change Series Masterlist

* - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *

T W O - Jade of the Orient

* - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *

Y/N was silent as she stared up at the restaurant before her, her fingers drumming against the wheel of her car nervously as her eyes flickered over the letters that spelled out Jade of the Orient.

She wasn't sure what to expect when she walked inside, but the thought of seeing her friends after all of this time was enough to make her feel clammy. She hadn't been this nervous since Greyson was six years old and broke his arm falling off of a trampoline.

"Mom," Greyson's soft voice spoke out, snapping the woman's attention away from the restaurant and to her son who was still sitting in his seat with a confused look on his face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," Y/N replied a little too quickly, her voice coming out rushed and making herself wince. "I'm fine. I've never been more fine in my life."

Greyson raised an eyebrow and Y/N sighed before leaning her head against the wheel in defeat. "Okay, so I'm a little nervous," Y/N admitted, her shoulders slouching slightly as she tried to collect her thoughts.

A look of amusement appeared on Greyson's face and he couldn't help but chuckle, the sound making Y/N look to her son before looking away with a groan. "Fuck you. You don't laugh at your mother's nervousness," Y/N jokingly scolded while Greyson sent her one of his smiles that Y/N liked to say could solve all of her problems.

Greyson was always able to do that, make her relax with just a smile. He had been doing it ever since the day he was born and Stan had told her on numerous occasions that he got his smile from her, but Y/N didn't see it. Her son's smile was unlike any other and she adored him for it.

Greyson and Y/N had the strongest mother/son bond than anyone had ever seen. They were comfortable enough around each other to make fun of each other and curse as if they had been best friends for years now. They understood each other better than anyone and were the person they leaned on when times got tough. Although Y/N made sure to keep most of her problems to herself in order to keep Greyson happy, but she knew that he knew more than he let up.

Y/N knew some people might scold her for the relationship that she had with her son, but he was her best friend along with Stan of course. Her and Greyson had been by each other's side for sixteen years now and Greyson didn't seem to have a problem with being close friends with his mother so who was she to stop him?

"You're telling me that we've been sitting in this car for twenty minutes now because you're fucking nervous?" Greyson questioned, a hand going to his mouth as he tried to muffle his laughter.

Y/N sat back up and gave her son a small glare before leaning back with a huff. Greyson's laughter quieted down as he watched his mother before he smiled softly and reached out to place a hand on her arm.

"There's nothing to be nervous about," Greyson assured her. "I mean from what you've told me these people used to be your best friends. That bond can't be easily forgotten."

Y/N wanted to correct him and tell him how she actually had forgotten about them and that alone was enough to make her nervous, but she held that information back. After all, she would have to go into each of the friendships she had with her friends in order to explain to Greyson why she was so nervous and she wasn't quite ready for that yet, especially Bill who she had yet to mention to her son.

"It'll be just like the old days," Greyson smiled as he shook her arm gently. "Besides, you said Uncle Stan should be coming as well, right? I'm sure he'll be here soon and everything will be just fine."

Y/N knew her son was right, but for some reason she still couldn't shake off her nerves. "You're right," she sighed, thinking momentarily about how once Stan got here everything would be okay. "I just need to walk right in there and-"

The woman fell short and before Greyson could even comprehend what was happening Y/N was quickly turning off her car and getting out, throwing open the door as her eyes locked on a man who she would've recognized anywhere. Although the last time she had seen him he was thirteen years old with a cast on his arm and a fanny pack around his waist.

"Holy shit!" Y/N exclaimed, her voice so loud that it made the man who was walking across the parking lot jump in surprise before looking around. It took only a moment for his eyes to lock on her and the biggest grin broke out on his face as he recognized who she was. "Edward Kaspbrak, is that you?"

"Fucking hell," Eddie laughed as he broke out into a small jog over to the car. Y/N slammed her car door shut behind her and was running over to the man in seconds and the moment she fell into the warm embrace of the boy who used to be like a brother to her, all of her nerves were gone. "There's no way you're Y/N Uris. There's no fucking way!"

Y/N chuckled and pulled away momentarily to look at the man that stood before her, a grin on her face that reminded Eddie of the ones she used to send his direction when they were younger. "You best believe it, Eddie. Look at you! You've grown up on me, Eds," Y/N said, her voice going soft as she looked at the boy.

A flicker of sadness flashed through both of their eyes and Eddie gave her a small smile of understanding before he put his hands on her arms and gave them a small squeeze. "Me? Look at yourself. Just as beautiful as ever," Eddie said before he was pulling the girl in for another welcoming hug, this one lasting longer than the first as the two got caught up in the feeling of having one of their best friends back by their side.

Someone clearing their throat was what had the two pulling away, the two friends turning their heads in the direction of the sound to where Greyson was currently leaning against the car with the beginnings of a smile on his face. He couldn't help but let his eyes flicker between his mother and the man, taking notice that his mother had never greeted someone like that in his whole life nor looked so happy.

Eddie inhaled sharply, his eyes wide as a hand reached out to grab Y/N's arm in surprise and he whispered, "Is he-?"

Y/N smiled softly and glanced at Eddie before walking over to wrap an arm around Greyson. "Eddie, this is my son Greyson. Greyson, this is Eddie Kaspbrak," Y/N said as she gently guided her son over to the man who was staring at the teen in disbelief.

"Hi, Mr. Kaspbrak," Greyson greeted, a smile appearing on his face that made Eddie inhale sharply once again for it was like he was seeing a younger version of Y/N smiling up at him.

"Please, call me Eddie," he insisted before putting a hand to his mouth and bringing it down his chin as he continued to stare at Greyson. He finally let out a small laugh of disbelief before looking to Y/N. "Holy shit. He's like a boy version of you. He even has the same smile."

Y/N smiled at that and Eddie watched as Greyson looked to his mother in what had to be adoration and pride before his gaze fell back on Eddie. "You used to be friends with my mother when she was younger, right?" Greyson questioned, his grin widening when Eddie nodded his head. "What's the craziest thing she's ever done? Mom won't tell me shit about her past and I'm guessing it's because there's some deep dark secret she wants to hide."

Y/N rolled her eyes playfully at her son while Eddie chuckled softly and stuffed his hands into his pocket. "Actually, your mother was a total badass. She once chucked a rock at the school bully's face and made him bleed because he was picking on a friend of ours," Eddie instantly said, his eyes widening in surprise slightly at the memory that fell from his lips. He hadn't even thought he remembered that.

"Woah, really?" Greyson asked before looking up at his mother who had a hand to her face in embarrassment. Greyson only smiled and nudged his mother playfully before looking back at Eddie.

"Really," Eddie nodded as he sent a teasing smile in Y/N's direction. "I can tell you more later, but we should probably be heading inside. Will your husband be joining us?”

Y/N stilled at that and Eddie couldn't help but notice Greyson's face hardening almost instantly, anger and hatred obviously written in his demeanor. Y/N seemed to notice as well and gently placed a loving hand on her son's shoulder before giving Eddie a forced smile.

"No. It's just the two of us," she explained and Eddie's smile faltered.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he began to say, but Y/N waved him off.

"It's no big deal. He left the picture years ago. It's just me and Grey," Y/N admitted as she looked down at her son, the boy instantly relaxing under her loving gaze and smiling up at her.

"That's all we need," Greyson nodded his head in agreement before they looked back at Eddie with small smiles on their faces. "Let's head on in, shall we?"

Eddie and Y/N locked eyes for but a second and both were able to read the nervousness that was still hidden in their eyes. Greyson began to walk on ahead to open the door for the two adults and Y/N took that moment to go to Eddie's side, gently grabbing ahold of his arm with both hands as they walked forward and rubbing it soothingly in an attempt to calm both of their nerves.

For a moment the two each had a flashback to when they were younger and how Y/N would always calm Eddie down when he was nervous or panicked. It seemed each other's presence was still able to do that for the two were able to walk into the restaurant without another beat of hesitation as long as they were by each other's side.

Y/N only let go of Eddie's arm once Greyson had returned to her side and Eddie watched as she looked to her son with a smile before brushing some hair from his face. Greyson sent her a small smile in return before the three were then shown to the room that Mike had apparently reserved for them.

It wasn't long before Eddie began listing off to the waitress all of his allergies and concerns and Y/N couldn't help but chuckle softly as she watched the man who was just like the thirteen year old boy she remembered. Greyson raised an eyebrow as he looked to his mother and all Y/N could do was shrug with a smile on her face that was so contagious Greyson ended up smiling as well.

"And I'm allergic to soy and anything that has egg in it. Uh. . .gluten and if I eat a cashew I could. . ." Eddie fell short and Y/N furrowed her eyebrows before following his gaze and noticing that they had reached the room. "-realistically die."

Y/N's mouth fell open in shock and she was sure both her and Eddie had the same expression of surprise on their face as they looked at the two people who stood in the room already.

However nothing could beat the dumbfounded look on Greyson's face once he noticed that his favorite author was standing in front of him.

"Holy shit," Eddie and Y/N both whispered out, their eyes locking with the gazes of Mike Hanlon and Bill Denbrough before all four of them began to smile.

Eddie and Y/N both moved forward to greet the two, but the woman was quickly stopped by someone grabbing onto her wrist. Y/N turned only to find Greyson staring at her with wide eyes as he squeaked out, "That-That's Bill Denbrough. You. . .you know Bill Denbrough?"

"Yes?" Y/N whispered as she gave the boy a nervous smile. "I'm sorry. I know I should've told you, but I didn't know how."

"You're kidding me. I was-" Greyson glanced over at the three adults who were currently hugging each other and laughing before he looked back at his mother. "I was not prepared for this. Fuck! What if I mess up? What if I make a fool of myself? Mom!"

Y/N couldn't help but chuckle softly at her son's nervous state and was quick to place her hands in his arms in an attempt to call him down. "Woah, kiddo. Just breath, okay? Everything's going to be just fine. Just be yourself and you'll be okay," she assured him.

"Just be myself," Greyson muttered softly as he looked back over at the author who had yet to look their way. He nodded his head and looked back at his mother with a much calmer look on his face. "I can do that."

Y/N smiled and squeezed the boy's arms once before gesturing towards the men behind her. "Great. Now let me introduce you to my friends," she said before she turned and began to walk away. Greyson was behind her in almost an instance and walked practically on her heels until they reached the men who had just finished hugging Eddie.

Mike Hanlon was the first one to turn and the smile he gave Y/N was one that made her heart ache with guilt for having not spoken to him in so long. Mike didn't seem to think anything of it and let out a cheerful laugh as he embraced the girl.

"Y/N!" Mike exclaimed happily as he held onto her tight, the girl doing the same. "I knew you'd come. I just knew it."

"Mike," Y/N greeted as the two pulled away to look at each other. "Of course I came. You know I'll always be there when you need me."

A flicker of emotion flashed through Mike's eyes, but his smile didn't falter as he just smiled at her as if he couldn't believe she was standing there in front of him. But then a voice was filling the air and Y/N swore her heart stopped at the sound.

"Y/N?"

Mike took a small step back and Y/N moved her head to see Bill Denbrough standing there, a look of disbelief on his face as he shamelessly let his eyes flicker over her. Y/N couldn't say anything since she was doing the same to him.

"Bill," Y/N whispered and the name had barely even left her mouth before the two were in each other's arms, neither of them remembering having crossed the room to reach each other but both of them remembering almost instantly what it felt like to be held by the other.

Y/N felt the urge to cry in relief as she held onto Bill, but she held it back as she merely gripped onto his shirt and hugged him so close that her nose was practically resting atop of his shoulder. Bill held onto her just as tight and she could hear him let out a shaky breath as he leaned his head against her own, relishing in the feeling of getting to hold the girl once again while also trying to calm his rapidly beating heart.

The two could've stood there hugging each other forever, but Eddie cleared his throat and gave the two a look that told them they should probably stop hugging before it got too weird. Y/N and Bill both pulled away with a blush, but kept their close distance as they looked at each other.

For a moment Bill felt like he was back in the summer to 1989 when he had first seen Y/N come out of the Uris house. The beating of his heart was the same and his breath was once again knocked from his lungs. And boy when she gave him that Y/N Uris smile that he hadn't seen for years, he knew he was a goner.

He hadn't seen her in years and she still gave him that giddy feeling that not even Audra had been able to make him feel. And for a moment he found himself hoping that was single. He didn't know what he would do if she was married.

"H-H-Hi," Bill finally managed to whisper out and he winced slightly at his stuttering which he knew was merely because of how nervous the girl seemed to be making him. Both of them suddenly got flashbacks to the first time they had met and to when they had reunited that one summer she had spent at Stan's.

"Hi," Y/N replied softly, tilting her head ever so slightly as she looked at the man before her in disbelief and awe. She couldn't believe it was him and her frantically beating heart was only proof of that.

Both of them were shamelessly admiring the other and the fact was enough to make them both blush and look down bashfully as awkward laughs left their lips.

"You look good," Y/N finally said and Bill swore his cheeks grew even more red. He was an adult now and she still somehow made him feel like his thirteen year old self who became a blushing mess whenever Y/N so much as looked in his direction.

"I could say the same for you," Bill smiled, his eyes flickering back up to lock with Y/N's, the girl blushing slightly as neither seemed to remember just where they were or who was in the room.

"Uh, Y/N?" Mike's voice rang out causing the two to look away from each other and over to Mike who was warily staring at Greyson who was standing where his mother had left him like a deer caught in headlights.

It was then that Y/N seemed to remember that she wasn't still a thirteen year old with a crush but a forty year old who had a son and her eyes widened before she quickly made her way across the room and back to Greyson's side. Her arm wrapped around the boy's shoulders almost instantly and she began to walk the nervous boy forward as she smiled to her friends.

"Guys, this is Greyson. He's my son," Y/N smiled proudly. Eddie and Mike were already grinning at her, but she couldn't help but notice Bill's smile falter ever so slightly before he acted as if nothing had happened. "Grey, this is Mike Hanlon and Bill Denbrough."

Greyson stared at the two men for a moment before finally letting his gaze stay on Bill. "Hi," he managed to squeak out, his cheeks growing red out of embarrassment.

Y/N chuckled softly and rubbed her son's arm reassuringly before looking to Bill. "He's a kind of a fan of yours, so he's a tad bit nervous," she explained, her words making Bill soften as he looked to the young teen who was staring at him with a star struck expression.

"He looks just like you," Mike commented as he looked to Y/N with a warm smile. Bill couldn't help but agree with Mike on that one, but his heart still felt as if it were going to shatter right there and he wasn't sure why.

Greyson would've stood there frozen for the rest of the night if it weren't for Y/N nudging the boy forward so that he was now standing in front of Bill with his mother right behind him. Greyson's eyes widened a little more and he gulped before shakily holding out a hand.

"Uh. . .Mr. Denbrough, I-I'm a huge fan, sir. Your work is-is amazing and I just. . .wow, I can't believe I'm standing in the same room as you to be completely honest," Greyson admitted and he couldn't help but let out a small noise of surprise when Bill reached out to shake his hand.

"Please, call me Bill. It's lovely to meet you, Greyson. You look a lot like your mother," Bill said and Greyson couldn't help but smile at that as he glanced back at his mother before looking to Bill once again.

"I've been told," Greyson said with a hint of admiration in his tone. "I think it's because of the smile."

Greyson sure wasn't wrong. He had definitely inherited the Y/N Uris smile. However, his smile in no way had the same effect on Bill as Y/N's did which was definitely a good thing.

Greyson had relaxed by now and Bill smiled softly at the young boy before biting his lip nervously. "Will your-" Bill hesitated and his eyes momentarily flickered to Y/N before he looked back at Greyson, "-father be joining us tonight?"

Bill noticed Eddie wince from beside him and wondered why, but then he noticed Y/N's hurt filled eyes and the way Greyson instantly hardened. "No," she said as she sent the man a small smile. "There's no father in the picture."

"I'm so sorry," Bill muttered despite the relieved expression on his face. After all, he wouldn't lie and say he wasn't absolutely thrilled to hear the news.

"He was a son of a bitch anyways," Greyson admitted and that was enough to have everyone looking to the boy in surprise. However, he was too busy staring between Y/N and Bill with an almost calculating expression to notice.

Greyson's eyes then widened and he sent a look in his mother's direction that made her blush slightly before she quickly looked away from her son. "So where are the others?" Y/N asked, hoping to change the subject before her son could say anything to embarrass her.

The only answer she got was the sound of someone hitting the gong behind them, the noise being enough to startle the whole group who quickly turned to see Richie Tozier standing near the gong with Beverly Marsh and Ben Hanscom behind him.

"This meeting of the Losers' Club has officially begun," Richie announced and Y/N couldn't help but chuckle as she looked at the man all while Greyson watched the newcomers warily.

"Look at these guys," Eddie said before letting out an awkward laugh that was followed by an awkward silence. Richie locked eyes with Y/N and he pointed at Ben from behind before mouthing the boy's name and moving his arms out to pretend like he had a big stomach. Y/N rolled her eyes at the man who gave her a small smile in return before tilting his head as he looked at her, obviously trying to picture how the woman standing on the other side of the room was the same Y/N Uris he knew.

The silence drug on for longer than any of them expected. It was obvious no one quite knew what to say especially since they hadn't seen each other in so long. However, it was no surprise when Y/N broke the silence to move across the room, her arms already out as a big grin dawned her face.

Beverly practically shoved Ben and Richie out of the way to hug the girl, earning glares from the boys which she ignored. "Y/N Uris," Beverly breathed out in disbelief as she hugged the woman tightly.

"Beverly Marsh," Y/N greeted as she pulled away to look at the red head in front of her. "Look at you! You've turned into a real stunner."

"Me? Look at yourself!" Beverly exclaimed before a hand was placed on her shoulder.

The two girls looked to see Ben gently pushing Beverly back as he gave her a small grin. "Okay, Bev, my turn," Ben said before he turned to the woman standing before him. He grinned and Y/N quickly returned it as he swooped her up in his arms to give her a bear hug. "It's been far too long, Y/N."

"It has," Y/N agreed as Ben set her back down. She took a step back to look at the man and shook her head in disbelief before smacking his chest playfully. "Holy shit, Ben. You're like a whole new person."

Ben chuckled at that, his cheeks turning a bit pink while Beverly nudged Ben's arm and said, "If anything, he's the stunner. You're making me feel self conscious, Ben."

Ben's face reddened even more at that and he glanced at Beverly with a small shake of his head. "You look beautiful, Beverly. Don't sell yourself short," he said instantly making the red head's face almost as red as her hair.

Y/N raised an eyebrow at the two and was about to say something when two arms suddenly wrapped around her from behind before picking her up and spinning her around. "Richie!" Y/N yelled out in between laughter, already knowing who had grabbed ahold of her.

There was a loud laugh from behind her before her feet touched the ground and she was quick to turn to the culprit who was giving her a sheepish grin. "Wow," Richie said as he looked at the girl in front of him and slung an arm around her shoulders. "You look amazing, sweetheart. What the fuck happened to me?"

Y/N rolled her eyes at the man's flirtatious attitude and shoved his arm off before playfully pushing him away. "Shut the fuck up, Tozier. You've grown into your looks and you know it," she teased while Richie just laughed.

While Y/N had been reuniting with the other Losers she had failed to notice that Bill, Eddie, and Mike were doing the same. Before long Richie had left her to go hug the others and Y/N couldn't help but watch as Eddie and Richie stared at each other before smiling and pulling the other in for a hug that lasted almost as long as Y/N and Bill's had.

As if realizing this, Richie pulled away from Eddie with a smile and patted his shoulder before turning to the last person in the line he had been going down. However he instantly froze as he looked down at the young face of what looked to be like a male version of Y/N.

Richie scrunched up his nose and let his arms fall back down to his side as he gave the teen a perplexed look, "Who the fuck are you?"

Greyson narrowed his eyes slightly and was quick to stand up straighter as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Who the fuck are you?" Greyson questioned in return making Richie blink in surprise.

Richie and Greyson stared at each other for a moment before a small grin broke out on Richie's face as he pointed at the teen. "I like you," he said before looking back at the Losers. "Which one of you fuckers does this one belong to?"

The group all paused in their conversations to turn and look at Richie who had a hand on Greyson's shoulder and was looking between the adults with his eyebrows raised.

"This one is mine," Y/N laughed as she walked across the room to stand by her son's side. She looked to Richie in amusement before saying, "So guess I'm the fucker you're referring to."

Greyson turned his head to look at Richie who let out a shaky breath as he looked between Greyson and Y/N who had the same expression on their faces. "Well, shit," Richie muttered as he chuckled. "Y/N Uris had a son? What's your name, kid?"

"Greyson," the young boy replied, his eyes flickering over Richie's face hesitantly. "And you are?"

"Grey, this is Richie Tozier," Y/N introduced, the man giving Greyson a short nod in response. She then gestured towards Beverly and Ben who were looking between the boy and Y/N in disbelief much like the others had done. "And this is Beverly Marsh and Ben Hanscom."

Ben gave the boy a small wave while Beverly smiled softly and Y/N couldn't help but notice that Greyson had taken a small step closer to her. She knew this was a sign that he was becoming a bit overwhelmed and a tad nervous, so she gently gave his shoulder a small squeeze to tell him that it was okay and she was there.

Greyson relaxed a little and put a small smile on his face as he waved at the adults. "Uh. . .hi," he greeted softly as he leaned into his mother's touch.

"Oh my gosh, Y/N. He looks so much like you," Beverly whispered, a smile on her face as she looked to the girl who used to be her best friend. For a moment she felt a sense of guilt wash over her. After all, she hadn't even known Y/N had a son and by the looks of it, he had to have been alive for sixteen or so years now.

"It's nice to meet you, Greyson. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?" Ben asked curiously, a small smile creeping onto his face as he looked at Greyson in fascination. To think that one of his childhood friends is a mother was mind blowing to him. Then again, if anyone were to be the best at parenting it would be Y/N.

"Sixteen," Greyson replied before looking down at his shoes, obviously not used to having this much attention.

Y/N noticed and opened her mouth to say something when Bill spoke up. "Come on, guys. Don't pester the kid. Drinks on me, okay?" Bill said and that was enough to pull the Losers' attention away from Greyson and back to the fact that they were all reuniting.

Greyson instantly relaxed once the eyes were off of him and Y/N momentarily locked eyes with Bill before mouthing, "Thank you." Bill just gave her a small smile in response and then the group began to take their seat.

Greyson surprisingly was quick to go and sit beside Bill, the action making Bill blink in surprise before looking over at Y/N who smiled softly and sat on the other side of her son. Bill felt his heart deflate a little at the fact that he wasn't getting to sit next to the girl, but he couldn't complain because something about her son choosing to sit next to him made his heart swell with joy.

Eddie sat down on the other side of Y/N with a small smile in her direction and before long the whole table was full except for one chair. It was in that moment that Y/N found herself pausing, her gaze flickering over to the empty chair beside Eddie while the soft sound of Greyson's voice echoed in her ear as he rambled to Bill about how he was inspired to be a writer because of him.

She knew who the seat was for and a small frown began to take over her features. Y/N went to reach for her phone in her pocket only to be reminded once again that she had left her phone at home. Sighing, the girl looked away from the chair and began to talk with her friends, but the reunion was still not enough to keep her distracted from the nagging feeling in her stomach that told her something was wrong and the one question that kept circling through her head.

Where was Stan?

* * *

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maplecornia · 3 years

Text

Sʜᴀᴛᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ Gʟᴀss

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 1.13K

𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: angst...that's it lmao

𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: the last day before she's lost to me forever

𝚊/𝚗: this is just a little short story I made for a class, I hope you like it.

She looks around, her empty eyes stabbing my heart. I know I shouldn't expect much, but this is the last chance I have. The last card I have up my sleeve. I remember the days when she would pile stacks upon stacks of boxes in this attic. We would open them up and revisit the adventure, the journey of her wondrous life. For some, it may be simple, but for me, it was the time when I was the happiest. I could taste the wind of freedom, feel the adrenaline in my veins, I was lost in the fantasy of a reality long since passed. Now, I look at her, hoping for a sense of that familiarity to return. I remember, but she can't recall. Not anymore. Forcing back my tears, the lump in my throat, I press my hand against her cheek, begging her to look my way. So that I can take one last look at those faded green eyes which have already given up. Long before I'm ready. She meets them blankly, as though I were a stranger from one of her books. I smile, ignoring the urge to cry as I realize she may never look at me the same way again.

"Mom," I say, my voice strangled and hoarse. She shows little to no reaction, those eyes glazing over with the urge of sleep and tranquility not too far behind. "We're home."

The words mean nothing, I know. They hold no recognition anymore, but I have to say them. If not for her, then for me. Swallowing hard, I lead her to the rocking chair. The same chair she would sing me to sleep in, the chair that was brought to the attic when she had vacated this house. This precious piece of memory, along with everything else. As she settles into the friendly caress of polished wood and comfort, I remember what she said to me all those years ago.

I don't want to forget.

Biting my bottom lip, I stand and turn to the boxes. In a sudden urge, I start opening them one by one. With each box, there is another overflow of endless memories, forgotten promises. With every tear, I unearth another key, another door to her heart, her life.

Tears, and love. Heartache and happiness. Comfort and Pain. Adventure and Family. Lost pages to a story that she had led, a story that had been unheard of for far too long.

I relive it all and turn to her each time. I present her with each piece of clothing, jewelry, junk, photos, countless items that represent a moment in her time. A moment that she was unwilling to forget.

This room holds my life, my memories. I guess I can't let go.

She must be confused, I can tell she doesn't understand. But she's too tired to do anything else but watch. Just like before, she's so far away from me, and I can't reach her.

But this time I'm the one who can't let go.

I turn to her, a journal in my hand. It's filled with countless writings, countless pictures, accounts of her life. A life that is slipping away piece by piece.

Swallowing hard, I kneel before her and place my head in her lap just like I did all those years ago. I want to hold on to her forever, I want to keep her by my side almost like I was a young girl, too afraid to go to school for the first time. At least I had her hand to hold then.

What happens when that's gone?

Closing my eyes, I grit my teeth, my hand tightening around the book.

"Please remember. That's all I ask. One time, once more. As long as I can see that light in your eyes, I'll be able to let you go once and for all. I'll be able to say goodbye, but if not...If not, I don't know what I'm going to do, how I'm going to live. I don't know if I can live...without you."

When I feel her hand on my head, I almost believe it to be a dream. Some force of a hallucination meant to torment me. But then I feel the book absent from my hand, and I look up.

Though she may have aged, though her face holds wrinkles and scars, her eyes glazed, though she is hunched over and cold, her skin faded and pale. Though she has changed and time has passed, at this moment she looks just like the woman I had once known. The mother I still cherish.

She opens the book and her eyes become brighter, her cheeks flush and the life returns to her body as though she has been rejuvenated, as though she is reborn. Her eyes speckle with tears, and she smiles. A sad, but happy smile. A smile that never ceases to spark joy and solace in those around her. And when those eyes turn to me, and she grins, finally breaking; I can tell.

Even if it's only for a moment.

She remembers.

For a moment she takes my hand and smiles. Her grip is tight, desperate as though I were the one thing keeping her grounded. She pulls me into her embrace just as she did when I was a child. Enveloped in warmth and safety, I cannot help but cry, I can't help but give in. Every fiber of her being, every breath from her chest tells me that it's alright. That everything is okay now.

But then she's gone.

I can feel it as the life goes out of my arms, as she finally drifts away from me, forever. Leaving me with only two words. Two words that hold all of our memories, all of our pain, each and every moment in our life together. Words that might as well be her entire soul, and she's left them with me to hang on a thread.

Two words in exchange for a lifetime that I can never get back.

When really, all I want is her.

I'm sorry.

And I know that I won’t be able to see her again. I know I won’t be able to hold her again, to speak to her again. I'll never hear her laugh, nor see her smile. I won't be able to feel her warmth or touch her face. I will never see those bright and beautiful eyes ever again.

So, even if it's for a moment, I hug her limp body, I hold her for one more moment. I pray that God, fate, anyone who may be listening now will allow me this one moment in my time.

Because soon I will long for her touch.

But by then...

She’ll be out of my reach.

𝚊/𝚗: thank you for reading! please let me know what you think, and if you want to see more!

love you all! ^^

#short fiction #short story #writers #poetry #angst

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scattered-imagination · 4 years

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EraserCloudMic

March Madness Fanfiction Exchange for @immalittleteapot

@bnhafanfictionexchange

sorry for the wait and I hope you enjoy! <3 this was so much fun to write!

They Were Roomates...ALL OF THEM

Hizashi sighed as he cuddled on his bed, hugging a pillow to his chest. Why was he locked in his room again? Watching nightmare before Christmas for the 5th time in a row, tears streaming down his face? He heard the door to their apartment open and close, hushed voices filling the space before it disappeared and was replaced with the sound of lips locking.

Ah...that's why.

He felt jealousy fill him as Oboro and Shouta moved to Oboros room to continue their makeout session. The jealousy was quickly filled with shame at feeling that way. He knew how hard it was for Shouta to connect with someone, and he knew how long Oboro had been pining for the brunette. He sighed as he noticed the movie ended. He buried his face in the pillow and almost screamed.

Time to restart it again.

Just as he was about to restart the movie a knock sounded on his door. He startled before quickly turning off his ipad and rubbing the tears quickly off his face.

“cO-- Come in!” he called out, clearing his voice and pushing a smile onto his lips.

The door quickly opened with Shouta on the doorknob and Oboro latched onto his back. The white haired environmental science major grinning wide, cheeks flushed just like his criminal justice brunette boyfriend.l

“ZASHI! We missed you! When did you get home? How was seeing your moms?” Oboro asked as he bounced off Shoutas back and into the room

Shouta puffed and rolled his shoulder

“Oboro, ask before you-” Oboro tackled Hizashi onto the bed “-barge in. sorry Hizashi, but to reiterate what he said, how was the trip?” Shouta asked as he walked into the room, a soft smile on his face

Hizashi huffed under the weight of the other and pushed him off enough for him to sit up. Shouta sat on the other side of him. Hizashi shrugged as he took off his glasses to clean them. Not noticing the worried looks the couple exchanged as they got a full look at his blotchy face.

“It was fine. Ma and mum say hi, they made me bring back food for us to eat. Because as Ma says, we are all far too skinny” he chuckled softly

“Everythings okay at home?” Shouta asked, scooting just a bit closer

“Yeah, why wouldn't it be?”Hizashi asked as he put his glasses back on

“Well, you didn't say hi and you were cuddled in your blankets and I’m guessing that you were watching nightmare before christmas and these are your sad glasses-”

Shouta sighed and he covered his boyfriend's mouth.

“What loud cloud meant was, you don’t seem yourself Hizashi,” Shouta said softly, Oboro nodding frantically behind the other hand.

Hizashi gave a sad smile, happy for their concern… and upset because he couldn’t not be sad...especially with the perfect couple near him.

A couple he would never be a part of.

It was hard being so deeply in love with your two best friends...especially when both of them were in a relationship with each other.

Oh well… at least they wanted to be friends with him still.

“I’m fine...just….out of it I guess...I’m fine really” He chuckled sadly

Oboro and Shouta shared a disbelieving look before turning back to the blonde.

“I call Bullsh--”

“ZASHI! ITS BAR CRAWL TIME! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!”

Shoutas response was thankfully cut off by Nemuris entrance. He gave a silent sigh of relief and gave the couple an embarrassed look.

“It is Saturday….Nemuri Night” he shrugged

Oboro sighed while Shoutas fists clenched in his lap

“You don't have to go if you don't want to Zashi,” Oboro said, laying a hand on his upper back

“We can tell her to fuck off” Shouta agreed, laying a hand on his lower back

Hizashi flushed and bounced off the bed. When did they get so close to him? He shook it off and gave a shake of the head.

“sorry...I have to go...and it might improve my spirits” he shrugged

He quickly scurried away from the confused couple and into Nemuris arms. She might not be great at comforting him in love.

But damn did the woman know what alcohol to use to drown his sorrows

**5 hours later**

He felt himself moving, but it was too dark behind his eyelids to really tell. Tonight had been fun...well fun in what he could remember. He giggled softly

He could hear a door opening

What bar were they going to now?

“Kayama what the...Hizashi?!” S

“Nemuri what happened to him?” O

Shouta...Oboro? They didn't like to drink? What were they doing here?

“He drank Nemuris special dance...four time” a feminine chuckle sounded “He’s your problem now”

“Kayama I swear if you messed with him and--” S

“Shou, let's just get him to bed. He looks even more exhausted than he did this afternoon” O

“Have fun boys!” Kayama giggled before her face faded away

Hizashi squeaked softly as he felt himself being lifted into someone's arms… Shoutas? He could feel the stubble on the top of his head. Someone's soft but calloused hands, with a scar on the middle finger brushed the hair out of his face and tied it in a loose ponytail….Oboros hand. He felt himself smile sleepily as he snuggled into both touches. Chuckles sounded around him

“Damn he's cute” O

“He is...isn’t he...this is so hard” S

“I know babe...but he needs more time...then maybe” O

Hizashis brows furrowed in confusion as he tried to open his eyes. But it didn't work. He groaned in frustration, it only increased as he was laid on the bed. He tried to grasp at the body. Hands tucked him in and they began to leave

NO! He didn’t want them to leave...he felt tears start to trail down his cheeks.

“Don’t go...please...I’m sorry” he hiccuped

A Shhhing sound entered his ear and soon a weight on his left side and a weight on his right side surrounded him.

“Shhh Zashi, its okay” O

“Just relax...you’re safe and sound. Sleep” S

Hizashi swallowed

“But you’ll be gone when I wake up...and I’ll be alone when you are together…. And it hurts” he cried

“What do you mean?” O

“Shhhh” S

“I love you two so much, and I want to be with you two but you are so happy...I can't ruin that… I can't”

Who was he talking to anymore

“Is he-?” O

“You know a drunk Hizashi is an honest Hizashi” S

“I’m so lonely...and it hurts...and I love you two so much….it hurts” he cried

A humming sound filled the air...Oboro

And a soothing hand rubbed up and down his back….Shouta

He drifted off with tears trailing down his face, and the dream versions of Oboro and Shouta snuggling him.

**Morning**

Hizashi groaned as the sunlight filtering into his room woke him up. Why didn't he draw the curtains? 5 more minutes. He tried to get up but found that...he couldn't?

He blinked awake at the weight on him and looked around...paling at his discovery.

Shouta clinging to his back, face snuggled into his hair. Oboro holding them both to his chest, Hizashis head on his chest and his hands on Shoutas back. He began to panic.

Shit shit shit...what had he done?! He tried to squirm out before two sets of arms tightened around him.

“Stop moving” Shouta grumbled, snuggling his chin over Hizashis shoulder.

“We were enjoying this cuddle session” Oboro laughed sleepily, yawning and cracking his jaw

Hizashi blinked in confusion, stunned

“Um…” he whispered “what's happening?”

Oboro laughed while Shouta just mumbled nonsense.

“Remember last night? We tucked you in?” Shouta said softly and seriously.

“And you started to cry about your unrequited love for us?” Oboro smirked

Hizashi felt himself flush red as he covered his face and tried to roll over and die… but two strong grips held him in place.

“I am so so sorry. I never meant to let you two know. I know you both are in a happy, committed relationship and I would never ever do something to jeopardize that I promise! Please just let me die and I can make a proper apology and--”

Hizashis apology was cut off by Oboro...specifically his soft set of lips on his own. Hizashi blinked, not knowing what to do until he felt Shouta started to kiss the back of his neck lovingly. He blinked before nervously kissing Oboro back, flushing as the older kissed him back with a smile and enthusiasm. He felt Shouta chuckle against the back of his neck before Hizashi turned towards Shouta, the brunette capturing his lips in a kiss as well. Oboro now kissing his knuckles and hand while holding it in a gentle grip. Shouta pulled away from the kiss, keeping Hizashi between the two of them.

“We love you too Hizashi...we didn’t know if you wanted to be with us...but we should have asked you” Oboro said softly and kindly.

Shouta nodded, “We have wanted you for a while….” he flushed and he rubbed the back of his neck “...we would like to date you”

“Courting you!” Oboro sung out

Shouta rolled his eyes, though there was a smile on his lips

“All of the above...is that okay?” shouta asked, caressing the blonde's cheek, chuckling as Oboro leaned over to kiss them both.

Hizashi blinked before smiling happily yet nervously.

“Yes...yes please” he cried softly

“Oh Zashi” Oboro cooed as he held him close.

“We got you songbird” Shouta murmured and he joined the hug, keeping Hizashi safe and snug between them.

“We love you Yamada Hizashi” Shouta stated

“And we always will” Oboro smiled

Hizashi sniffled and smiled

“I love you both….so so much” he murmured happily, snuggling into their embrace

#erasermic #loudcloud #shirakumo #shirakumo oboro #erasercloudmic #cloudmic #erasercloud #yamada #yamada hizashi #aizawa #aizawa shouta #fanfiction exchange

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