#i know we don't have to always compromise but that does kinda feel like we're always the ones who are expected to

[ace-of-hail]

It's always, "aces can still have sex" but never, "allos can go without sex"

Kinda makes it feel like aces *have* to be the ones to compromise in allo/ace relationships

#asexuality #asexual #ace #i know we don't have to always compromise but that does kinda feel like we're always the ones who are expected to

[call-sign-jinx]

Endless Love (Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw) - Chapter 5

summary - Y/N Y/L/N and Bradley Bradshaw have had a rivalry ever since they both attended the same academy. Every chance they took, they always tried to one up each other. One day, Bradley takes the rivalry too far and Y/N ends up in the hospital with serious injuries. Will it make Y/N want to get him back twice as worse? Or will it make her realise that this rivalry between them is childish?

warnings - swearing, enemies to lovers, mention of serious injury, traumatic episodes, reader traumatised from what happened, smut, slowburn, seizures, flashbacks

a/n - hi girlies! sorry that i haven't been posting a lot i got writers block 💀💀💀 anyways, enjoy!! xx

I've finally come back to Top Gun, Mav caught me up luckily. Somehow he pulled some strings with Cyclone to let me stay here. I'm glad me and Mav sorted everything out. I still haven't spoken to my mum yet... It's been 3 weeks since she visited me at the hospital.

It's been kinda quiet since me and Bradshaw decided to stop the whole "rivalry" thing. Minus for the arguments between Bradshaw and Bagman. It's been nice in all honesty. Except for when Bradshaw tried to throw a right hook at Bagman. Fanboy stopped him before he could make contact. It didn't end too badly. They just death stared each other then walked separate ways.

Bradshaw was late to the briefing this morning so the only chair left was next to me. Great, although we're civil, I hate having to deal with his fucking manspreading. It's so annoying.

Bradshaw walked up to the table I was at and sat down. I was shocked to feel that his leg wasn't rammed against mine. I looked down and saw that he had stretched his legs out and crossed his ankles. I quickly give him a look then begin to focus on the briefing.

"Shocked to see how little of an annoyance I can be when we're not arguing?" I rolled my eyes with a smirk as I tried to focus on the briefing. "Everyone's going to the Hard Deck tonight, you wanna join?" I turned to look at Bradshaw, my eyes narrowing, smirk still apparent on my face.

"Bradley Bradshaw, is inviting little old me to drink with you and the others?" I place my hand on my chest. Bradshaw is the one to roll his eyes now. "I'd love to. As long as you don't sing Great Balls of Fire."

"Now that is pushing it sweetheart. there must be a compromise we can come to." he has desperation in his voice, with a little bit of humour.

"You can sing it once then. No girl on your lap or at your side cause that is just fucking tacky." I chuckle as I try to multi-task and listen to what Mav is saying. I'm partly failing.

"Is that your way of saying you're jealous? I'm flattered sweetheart, but British isn't my type. Neither is hot-headed." His tone was all but flirtatious. Maybe I should've just continued to argue with him, because the flirty tone he's using is grating. Like, it sounds nice but really weird at the same time because he's never used that tone with me.

"Absolutely not, never. Just because we're civil now does not mean I'm going to have feelings for you. And girls sitting on your lap or basically grinding against you while you sing Great Balls of Fire is the cringiest and most disturbing thing to even look at for a second. So no, I am not jealous. And FYI I don't go for your type either." I cross my arms as I finish the conversation and bring all my focus back onto Mav, who keeps sending me knowing glances which I send away with eye rolls.

------------------------------------

Today was stressful. Very stressful. Stressful enough to need a straight double whiskey when I get to the Hard Deck. You wanna know why today was stressful?

Firstly, I was paired with Hangman. Which is annoying as it is but he thought he led the whole thing when it was a team building exercise. And he kept ordering me which got us "killed" by Mav.

Second, my flight suit had a stain on it so I had to try and get it washed after the training exercise. It didn't come out, so I'm going to order a new one.

Third, Bradshaw could not stop with the flirty comments. It was so aggravating. I wish we were still arguing cause he was actually less annoying than this.

And lastly, Mav kept pulling me to the side and asking if me and Bradshaw were a thing. Oh my days! Absolutely not! Never in a million fucking years would I date Bradshaw of all people! I'd date Hangman before Bradshaw. Actually no. I would not. I have too much self respect.

When I got home, I took a hot shower. It was fucking amazing after the day I've had. After I got out of the shower, I dried my hair, did my skincare routine, put some makeup on, and now it's time to decide what to wear. It was between a nice dress Phoenix told me to wear or my tight black shirt with some nice-fitting jeans. I asked Phoenix and she told me to wear the dress, obviously. But only if she wore one too. Not being the only one wearing a dress.

It was a short black dress with criss-crossing straps and a slit on the right leg that goes up to my hip. It was really nice, I've just haven't gotten to wearing it yet.

I quickly put the dress on because I was running late. I grabbed my purse, car keys and vape before going out and locking the door.

The ride to the Hard Deck wasn't too long because I could afford a closer one when I moved here. I parked my car, locked it, then headed to the door of the Hard Deck. Phoenix was outside waiting for me.

When I tell you the whole bar went quiet when they saw me and Phoenix, it would be an understatement. Maybe it was because we were in civvy clothes? But we headed to our group and all the boys eyes were wider than golf balls.

"What's with the eyes? It's not like we're naked is it?" I said, eyes darting between all the lads. They were shocked.

"Y/N, I think it's cause you're wearing that short dress, they've never seen as much skin on you before." Phoenix giggled before dragging me to the bar.

"Hey Penny, two double whiskeys please." Phoenix asks Penny with a smile. As I look around, I see a man. He's tall, blonde hair, greenish-blue eyes, and he's staring at me. I recognise him from somewhere. It's Thomas! I didn't think he'd be here tonight. He said he was going to go home in England for a bit to see his family.

"Thomas?! I thought you went back to England for a few weeks! What yer doing 'ere?" I walked up to him and hugged him, shocked that he was in San Diego but especially in the bar I usually go to.

"Thought yer could use some company, but guess you're already set aren't yer?" He chuckled as he looked to Phoenix then in a different direction, all the lads were death staring Thomas.

"Yeah, guess so. Want a drink? Me and Phoenix just ordered double whiskies." I guided him over to the bar where me and Phoenix originally stood.

"Go on then, one can't hurt." He ordered himself a double whiskey and paid for mine and Phoenix's as well.

--------------------------------------

We've been at the Hard Deck for a few hours and I'm quite drunk, drunk enough to not be able to drive. Which is great, cause I want to go home.

Phoenix and I have been dancing to The Weeknd, Mac Demarco, ABBA, Jerry Lee Lewis (because Bradshaw sang it, yet again), and some other singers that I'm too drunk to remember.

Me and Phoenix are currently dancing to Great Balls of Fire, as per requested to play again by Bradshaw. Him and that fucking song. It's like he's married to it. Or he can't breathe if it's not playing.

As we're dancing, I feel someone come up behind me. I turned to see who it was and it was just a stranger. He had his hands on my hips and began to basically grind into my arse. the fuck?

"Erm, can you not do that mate?" I stepped away from him, closer to Phoenix. He had this strange look on his face. It made me really uncomfortable.

"Come on babe, just wanna dance with you." His smile was sloppy and sadistic in a way. Gave me the shivers. Not the good kind.

"Well I don't wanna dance with you. So fuck off. Freak." I rolled my eyes then turned to Phoenix with an awkward smile.

"Don't call me a fucking freak you bitch!" He grabbed my arm and yanked me closer to him, his breath stunk of cigarettes and Bourbon. I always hated that smell.

"Get the fuck off of me you prick!" I grabbed his elbow and dug into it with my fingers which made his grip loosen, then I kicked the back of his knee which got him to the floor.

"Touch me again and we will have a serious problem, got it?" He nodded in answer, fear and anger in his face. "Get the fuck out of this bar." He got up and walked straight out, the whole bar giving him death stares as he leaves.

As soon as the door closes Bob comes over to us, weaving through the crowd with a worried look on his face.

"You okay Y/C/S?" He looked at me with worry and sympathy. I nodded my head yes.

"I'm fine Bob, he was just a prick who should listen to people. Taught him a lesson, hopefully he'll learn from that." I rolled my eyes as I took a sip of my whiskey. "Surprised I can still do that, I'm fucking leathered." I chuckle as I begin to dance again.

Bob nodded with a small smile then went back to the others. Me and Phoenix continued dancing until she had to go home cause her friend said her dog needed to be taken to the vet. So I was left to hang out with the lads.

"Hey Y/C/S, you alright? You look really bad." I place my hand on my heart and mock offense.

"Wow Bagman, I cannot believe you could say that. To me of all people. I look fucking fabulous you rat." I giggle as Bradshaw laughs. He'd laugh at anything that insulted Hangman so I'm not surprised.

"Seriously though Y/L/N, you look unwell. How much have you had to drink?" Bradshaw had genuine concern in his voice. I also did not know how much I drank.

"Fuck knows, wanted to have a fun time. I was, till Nat had to go home cause her dog is sick. I really hope her dog's okay. Do you think it'll die?" Just as I finished my sentence, Thomas came next to me and placed his hand on my waist.

"Come on Y/N, let's get you home." He began to lead me out until I felt his hand go lower. Last time I checked, he had a fucking girlfriend.

"One, I ain't going home right now. And two, get your hand off my arse cause I specifically remember you have a fucking girlfriend." i poked his chest in annoyance because his girlfriend is super nice, and pretty. Like drop dead gorgeous. And she treats him so fucking well as well.

"Yes you are going home, yer leathered. And she doesn't have to know if anything happens, can just be between you and me babe." That's it. Absolutely not. Not a fucking cat in hells chance.

"Right, you are a piece of shit for that. i ain't going home and I'm moving out. And I'm telling your fucking girlfriend how much of a shit person you are." Thomas laughed, I knew he could be a dick sometimes but this is just too far.

"Come on Y/N. Firstly, where would you even move to? You don't make enough money for even a small shitty apartment. And second, she won't believe you." Shit, she wouldn't. She's literally head over heels in love with him.

"She will." A voice said behind me, I turned to see that it was Bradshaw. I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"And why's that? She's practically wrapped around my little finger." My face contorts to disgust. Jesus, how did it take me this long to realise he is a complete and utter twat?

"Because in Y/N's bag, is my phone, and it's recording. So she will believe Y/N, because there's proof." All the colour drains from Thomas' face.

"So you best fucking leave now. And I'm getting all my shit in the morning." I look at him with anger an disgust, how could he even think about doing that to such a caring and beautiful girl?

Thomas walked out immediately, slammed the door to the bar on his way out. That's when realisation hit me, I'm now homeless.

"Shit... where am I gonna stay? He is right that I can't afford to live anywhere... Maybe Mav could let me stay with him?" I turn to Bradshaw and he looks like he's just got an idea.

"You can stay with me, until you get enough money for an apartment." Although I was very drunk, that sobered me up quite a lot. Bradshaw was offering to let me stay at his place? I mean, we are civil now, but letting me stay at his home? Jesus, he must really mean it about feeling bad about arguing and the crash.

"Are you sure? Because that's a big thing to offer Bradshaw." I looked at him, unsure myself. But why was Bradshaw offering this? Was it out of guilt? Sympathy?

"Yes. You don't have anywhere to stay. Fanboy only has one room and his couch is fucking uncomfortable. Coyote and Hangman most likely don't want to live with you. Payback lives with his girlfriend. And Bob and Phoenix live with Phoenix's mom. And Mav will probably hate you living with him because he won't be able to have any alone time with the ladies he brings home. So I'm the only viable option." Damn. He must have put lot into this for him to just come up with all that.

“Are you 100% sure that you want to do this? Cause I can just find some place to live I don’t wanna intrude init.” I look at him with concern and uncertainty in my voice.

"Yes of course, helping out a friend, init." He faked a British accent as he said "init", I giggled at him as he pulled a face as well.

"Right okay, thank you so much you don't know how much this means to me..." I have a thankful look on my face. "Please could u come with me to pick my stuff up tomorrow? I don't want to go on my own." He nodded yes. "Thank you..."

"Right, let's get you home. You're so fucking drunk." He chuckled as he guided me out of the Hard Deck with his arm round my shoulder.

--------------------------------------------

As we got to his house, I began to search the outside. It was quite nice.

We both went inside, Bradshaw helped me as I was stumbling everywhere. He guided me to the spare room and placed me on the bed.

"Goodnight sweetheart." Bradshaw muttered as he got to the door.

"Goodnight Bradshawwwww." I said before quite literally passing out as my head hit the pillow.

#top gun #top gun fanfic #top gun fanfiction #top gun imagines #top gun maverick #top gun rooster #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw fluff #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x y/n #bradley bradhsaw smut #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw fluff #bradley rooster bradshaw smut #bradley rooster bradshaw x you

[charlie-rulerofhell]

So, we got a message from these two sweethearts on Telegram, where they briefly talked about their pre-ESC concert next year in Malmö, and I would have loved to share it with you all, but there's this top-secret-highly-important rule that whatever happens on the Telegram channel stays on the Telegram channel, so I found a compromise: You'll get these two very crappy screenshots up there and a translation of the German video plus a transcript of the English one down under the cut. Enjoy!

Translation:

Alright, friends, today a message from the car. Ah wait, gotta hit the break very quick, AAAH, no wait [points the camera over to Klaas], I'm not even driving haha, Klaus Granate is driving.

Sooo … If you have nothing planned yet for next year, tenth of May, and you feel like coming to Sweden … Well, there are no hotels anymore in Malmö [laughs], cause that's when the ESC is gonna take place there. But I mean, you can just sleep somewhere on the countryside, in a nice sleeping bag – we're gonna do that, too, right? [films Klaas again – Klaas: Yeah yeah, course.] Exactly. No, actually we could still find a hotel in Copenhagen, which is just across the bridge.

So we came up with an idea, we thought we'd do the following: Whenever it is somehow possible for us, time-wise and distance-wise, we will be playing a concert on the evening before the grand final in the respective ESC city, so it will always be somewhere else. We just enjoyed the time at the Eurovision Song Contest so much, that we did not want to leave this feeling or this community, and we also wanted to give something back to the community. So we want to come back to the ESC every year from now on. So one day before the grand final and one day after the semi-final – which is exactly this one Friday – we just bring our own ESC party into the respective city, in the form of a concert of course.

Or as someone wrote in a comment that we just read: trauma management [both laughing]. I was like: C'mon! Maybe we're just really up for this. Whatever, there will always be someone complaining, there will always be that ass. How does that song from Lacrimosa go? Irgendein Arsch ist immer unterwegs [literally: there will always be some ass running around]. That's how it is.

Alright, so if you don't yet know what to do on the tenth of May, just come to our – probably only – concert in Sweden next year.

***

Transcript:

So friends. I'm here with Klaus Granate in the car. So, you might have seen it already, although we haven't posted it officially yet, right now it's just within the Eurovision bubble. We're coming back to the Eurovision next year – don't be scared! We're not participating. Although we'd love to ;).

No, but we thought it might be great to do our yearly thing at Eurovision from now on, so we thought, one day before the grand final, one day after the semi-final on this Friday, where actually only Eurovision parties are happening, we bring our own Eurovision party in the form of a concert to the city where the finals are taking place, which will be Malmö next year, in Sweden. So we thought, you know, we don't really wanna leave this Eurovision community, and this way we might be able to give something back.

This might be our only show next year in Sweden. It's on May the tenth in Malmö. And yeah, presales are going superfast, the club is kinda small, so if you wanna see us in Sweden next year one day before the grand final, come to our Eurovision concert, it's gonna be a special show with some special songs.

#btw don't worry i'm not gonna do a transcript or a translation for every telegram update now not even if i had the time lol #but this one made me laugh and maybe it will make you laugh as well :) #lord of the lost #lotl #eurovision #i just really love the fact that german media wanted to get rid of them so quickly as soon as the final results came in #after having praised them like gods for about two months straight #and lotl are just like: you morons! you naive fools! you will never get rid of us ever again! #and how they drop that they'd really love to participate again every chance they get and how they wanna apply again #can we not just make this our running gag? sending them every year from now on? #the germans love to complain anyway that it doesn't matter who we send so why not just send lotl every year? THEY'd be up for it :D #my translation

[therhythmafterthesummer]

Rhythm, how would couples react to a pregnancy scare?

Thanks, hope you'll have a good day😘

ohhh, this was sooo fun to think about.

my Thoughts™ under the cut.

Listen, Chris is down to have children. the mere thought of his girl being pregnant makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, he's just Ready, and when Pretty tells him she's late, he's honestly kinda hopeful... that is, until he realises how distressed she looks. "it'll be fine, pretty. with either scenario, it'll be fine", he'll tell her. to which she'll simply reply, in the quietest voice you can imagine, "i don't think i'm ready right now, though..." and even though it saddens him a bit, he understands. after all, it'll be her doing all the heavy lifting (meaning, growing the baby--or babies?), so he simply offers his support. when she gets her period the very next day, before she could even take a test, she's immensely relieved, and Chris is just happy that his girl is happy, regardless of how much he wants to be a dad. there'll be time for that, he doesn't want to if she doesn't want to, you know?

Minho has a few minutes of panic when Kitten tells him her period's late. two weeks she said. "you're two weeks late and you didn't say anything?!" to which she'll just reply "i thought it'd come! i'm telling you now!" they both panic for a bit. there'll be a few minutes of silence while Minho paces around the room and she just sits on the sofa, nervously chewing on her lip. after a while, he'll just take a deep breath, ruffle his hair, go crouch in front of his dearest kitten to hold her hands and look up at her. "if you were pregnant... would you like to keep it, or...?" and after a few moments of consideration, she'd just be like "...yeah. yeah, i'd like to keep it. but only if you want to, too", and Minho realises then that even if it scares him a bit, he does want to. so when the test came back negative, they both had mixed feelings. "at least we have more time to prepare now... we need to figure out how we'd want to raise our children first", he'll say, and she'll just wholeheartedly agree.

"i think i might be pregnant", Ginger tells Changbin, while he was brushing his teeth. he chokes on his spit. "holy shit, are you serious right now?" and she'll just nod. Changbin will practically start vibrating with excitement, meanwhile she already is vibrating with excitement. they weren't trying to get pregnant, but they both are happy with the idea, which is why, they're both bummed out when she takes a test and is negative. they'll stare at the stick on the sink, arms crossed over their chests, silent, thinking... until Spicy Gingerbread says "i can't believe we're both moping about a negative pregnancy test..." and Changbin just laughs and hugs her and mumbles a "maybe we should start planning..."

The chances of Hyunlix's partner (let's call them.... Moss) being pregnant are very slim, but never zero. They've got a uterus, and having a uterus when you're being sexually active with two people with penises will always pose a risk, no matter how careful you are. The three of them will just sit in complete silence on the sofa while they wait for the test results. Hyunjin would be ready to take care of pups if it came to it, and Felix, although isn't beaming with excitement, he supposes he can be a good dad, but after the silence stretches out for too long Moss just drops a "hope you guys know that if this test is positive i'm going full on Fetus Deletus" which will make both Felix and Hyunjin snort, and the three of them will just enter a fit of laughs. when the timer goes off and they check the test to see it's negative, the three of them heave a sigh of relief, and they'll reach a compromise to be more careful moving forward, since honestly neither of them actively want children.

#leedunno #ask #wereroomies ask #wereroomies headcanons #i just realised you never even mentioned this was for wereroomies... i just assumed it was... if it wasn't i'm sorry lol

[humanpurposes]

Ok I'm just so curious after the last chapter of step dad aemond. Does he love Alys? Do they sleep together? What does their relationship look like? I'm trying to figure out what reader is up against that way 🤔

I love this story so much and I'm probably way more invested than i need to be lol

This is a great question! I kinda didn't want to think about it when I first starting writing this, but like... if we're gonna go with step-dad Aemond we gotta COMMIT.

Disclaimer, I know these relationship dynamics are completely fucked, but it's just fiction.

There will be an Aemond POV chapter, I think it will end up being the penultimate one, so I'm a little bit conscious that I don't wanna give too much away. But I do have a lot of thoughts and if you want some more info I'll oblige...

Aemond and Alys are both ambitious and career driven, and that's where their compatibility ends. When they got together they were both looking for escapes, from family and work, which overlapped as they were working in family businesses. Alys had the ideas and the charisma, and Aemond had the strategy and the name 'Targaryen'. So they use each other in a way.

But lets talk about their sex life.

Alys is a dom for sure. She's a hot milf in her early 40s who knows what she's doing and what she wants. She loves to tease the fuck out of her partners, orgasm denial, praising and degrading, she loves watching her them whine and beg for release.

Aemond probably found that interesting at first, still happy to be in an exploration phase, but (in my head at least) he's all about control. So once he realised she wasn't willing to compromise it would be a major turn off. But by that point, he was already living with her and invested in the PR firm. Also consider he's a pathetic, emotionally repressed little meow meow who struggles to navigate his feelings and figure out what he wants.

Enter 'She' (the way my brain goes "She" like the Harry Styles song). We will get to how their relationship started later on so I'm not going to go too much into detail here, but you can sort of see how he gets what he wants from her. Personally, they're closer in age and they get on well. Sexually, they compliment each other a lot better. Then this sort of gets muddled up in the emotional side of things, because while they 'enjoy each other's company' that comes with a lot of a guilt, secrecy and not a lot of clarity. As She's currently dealing with the fallout of that. Was it really just sex to him?

So in terms of Aemond and Alys sleeping together... once a week? Maybe less? Aemond wouldn't be the one initiating anything and Alys is a busy girl, she's got a company to run, she doesn't always have the time or the energy, or the interest really.

I know it's uncomfortable to think about but it's all in good fun. I have to say I had the idea of this as just a quick oneshot, but having to think about all the implications is so interesting and I'm so excited to explore it more.

#inbox #my heart belongs to daddy

[rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me]

Ummmmmmmm. I hate school. During the school year it's impossible for me to accomplish anything because if I have one thing going on in a day I can't do anything else. But I've been sitting on the couch starting at my computer for the last half hour so I figure I may as well try to get past my writers block.

Introducing...

Coming Down

This song is kind of going to just be the reader looking back at all that has happened these last few months.

Verse 1

I found God I found him in a lover When his hair falls in his face And his hands so cold they shake

Dally canonically does not use hair grease, so his hair is the fluffiest thing in the world. He also has cold hands, you can't convince me otherwise. He is always cold which is why when he left New York he went to Oklahoma. (I don't know a lot about the states 'cause I live in Canada, but I looked it up and it said Oklahoma was one of the hottest states.)

I found the Devil I found him in a lover And his lips like tangerine In his color coded speak

Dally has a way with words even if he refuses to admit it. He would get good marks in English class whenever he was asked to write a straight up story, but his essays would ramble on and on and never really go anywhere. Now he can't be bothered to show up to class anyway so it doesn't really matter.

Chorus

Now we're lost somewhere in outer space In a hotel room where demons play They run around beneath our feet We roll around beneath these sheets

Reader stayed out one night even though they knew they were going to get in trouble for it. Dally and them hung out and went to all their favorite spots, and they stayed in a hotel room. Reader was feeling kinda conflicted with all that was going on and Dally could tell that and tried to comfort them as well as he could. Naturally a tickle fight commenced. The reader was surprised by how safe they felt with Dally. Like they could let go of everything and just be.

I've got a lover, a love like religion I'm such a fool for sacrifice It's coming down, down, I'm coming down It's coming down, down, I'm coming down

Reader gets home and everything kinda loses that feeling of safety.

I've got a lover and I'm unforgiven I'm such a fool to pay this price It's coming down, down, I'm coming down It's coming down, down, I'm coming down

They remember that they have a boyfriend and responsibilities to their family and everyone and they feel bad about what they are doing.

Verse 2

I found a martyr He told me that I'd never With his educated eyes And this last line is kinda sexual and I don't feel comfortable with that so just enjoy not having to watch me struggle with it.

Reader thinks that in another life Dally could have been someone who'd do a lot of good. They told him once that she could see all the lives he had ever lived in his eyes, he brushed it off but he felt bittersweet nonetheless, thinking about how highly they viewed him and being convinced that he didn't deserve it.

I found a savior I don't think he remembers 'Cause he's off to pay his crimes And he's got no time for mine

Dally gets arrested. And it's hard for reader. Dally has been being more careful than he usually is but. He got sloppy. And now she is reflecting on everything.

This time the chorus is more reflective, she is thinking about the relationship as a whole and everything that is involved with it

Bridge

Every single night pray the sun will rise Every single time make a compromise Every single night pray the sun will rise, but

It's coming down, down, I'm coming down It's coming down, down, I'm coming down

This is such a reflection of how the relationship has been and is going.

And that's it. I think this is the perfect song to pick back up on because it fits so well that it sorta writes itself and because it's kind of a summery of everything that has happened.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, *takes awkward bow*

I’m holding this against my chest, cradling it like a newborn baby, clutching it like the last item on Black Friday, gripping it like a best friend who’s moving far away. I hope you know how much it means to me that you keep coming back and breaking down these lyrics, spinning such a complex and beautiful story about Dally and his lover and gosh, I hope you know how much I love it <3

#dillo’s replies #he is just a doggo

[flyingpurplepeopleprogrammer]

Why I negotiate up with my partner

Oh no. I'm doing ✨discourse✨.

So I've seen a post going around about negotiating up as a concept, why you shouldn't do it, and why newbies need to watch out for it.

And it's right. Mostly. Negotiating up is potentially very very bad, especially if you're inexperienced. If you're new to kink then you probably just shouldn't do it.

But, well- It's also wrong. The broad strokes are right and the intentions are good, but negotiation isn't as simple as that, and I'm remarkably uncomfortable seeing a whole host of consensual play that I and others engage in be branded as noncon.

This is a long post, so if you want to keep scrolling and avoid ✨discourse✨, this is your chance to roll on by.

So. How we talk about consent matters:

Consent in the real world does not follow the nice, contractual structure that we often assert onto it. People are… just kinda bad, sometimes, at knowing and articulating how they feel or what they want. We also don't always know what a situation will actually end up being like. Because of this, consent needs to be an ongoing and collaborative process. Both parties have to listen to and consider the other's needs.

We recognise this when we say that consent has to be revocable, that we should be able to negotiate down. We also recognise this when we say that, even when a person has given explicit consent for something, you should check in on them.

With consideration and good communication, negotiating up lets us do the exact same thing that negotiating down does. We're assessing and revising our play to get closer to whatever our mutual ideal is, and that's a good thing. This can - perhaps ironically - be particularly positive for people who are new to the play du jour. Doing something small to get a feel means you have more information from which to make judgments and negotiate your own play.

It's absolutely so that negotiating up is a less clear-cut and potentially riskier proposition than negotiating down, so you shouldn't hop right into it. Negotiating up requires the parties involved to assess their own emotional states, communicate clearly, and try to judge risk, all at once, which means it's not necessarily easy, but that's a different matter.

Negotiation - all negotiation - is partly an exercise in risk management. It's also an exercise in communication, empathy, emotional awareness, and about a bazillion other things that are both intensely personal and not particularly easy to simply model. How two people negotiate is going to be unique to those two people, and while there are absolutely wrong answers to how to do it, there is no one 'right' answer. What works for my partner and me won't necessarily be what works for you, and that's OK. Maybe ask us before calling it noncon, though.

"But FPPP," you might say, "being hypnotised compromises your ability to give consent!"

Well, yes. No. Maybe. It depends:

Hypnosis, while being a phenomenon characterised by suggestibility, can take a lot of different forms. Can you still be loopy, disoriented, or suggestible to a degree that compromises your ability to give consent after trance? Absolutely. But this always nonsense has got to go.

How we do our play matters: play can be empowering. We can use our toys to help people feel calm, centered, and able to communicate as easily as we can use them to help people feel docile and obedient.

How we set boundaries about trance matters: You're loopy and suggestible when you're fresh out of trance? Great. Let's go get a glass of water, walk around a bit, and shake the cobwebs out. Then we'll talk.

How we communicate with our partners matters: Setting the expectation that communication can happen at any time, not just "no" but, "how I'm feeling", "is this OK", and a million other things that we might need or want to talk about in or out of play. It's a lot easier to communicate clearly in and around trance if you're given the space to do so.

How experienced we are matters: People who are more familiar with their own experience of trance and practiced in communicating in and around trance are much more able to judge if they're in a place where they can negotiate or not. Learning how to talk about trance and consent lets you better communicate it with your partner, too, which helps out with the whole consent-as-an-excercise-in-collaboration-toward-mutual-benefit thing.

Not unlike negotiation, trance is an individual experience. It won't affect us all the same way or even one of us the same way every time. It's on us to evaluate that experience and how it affects us for ourselves.

I am probably well more incensed about reading OP's take than I ought be. This is because negotiating up is a vital part of my play with a particular partner:

This particular partner and I routinely negotiate up and down during our scenes. We're both experienced hypnokinksters, which means that we've each got a pretty good handle on how to recognise and express our feelings. We've also known one another for years and work hard to communicate openly and healthfully.

In our particular case, being able to negotiate up as well as down is hugely beneficial. We don't feel pressured to anticipate and plan out our play in huge detail beforehand, which helps our anxious selves. It means that if our exploratory tendencies lead us in a direction we didn't plan on, that we can take a look and decide "yeah, OK, let's do that!" For us, at least - with our particular anxieties, traumas, and desires - it just makes play easier and enables us to do a lot more of what we want to do.

Maybe it's not for you. That's fine, but it is a good thing for us, and you shouldn't invalidate that.

tl;dr:

Negotiating up isn't inherently good or bad.

Negotiating up is difficult, though, and doing it poorly can lead to a very bad experience.

Talk about how you negotiate/communicate before trying to do complex consent stuff.

If you're a newbie or not confident in your communication and negotiation skills, don't.

Bad people negotiating up in an attempt to subvert consent are bad. Yeet them to the sun.

PS: I didn't reblog OP because they made the post, like, 2 years ago and I doubt they want to get dragged into a ✨discourse✨ based on that.

#mine #discourse #sorry I got triggered #consent #negotiation #edited several times to try to make the formatting not suck

[lokigodofaces]

Experiments on my roommates. As I mentioned here, my roommates have not been communicating their problems. Ellie and I are trying to figure out what is wrong via the scientific method. And it has now expanded to us wanting to see what they'll do if we stop doing something, like washing all their dishes they leave for us to do half the time. We haven't done much yet, but we'll be doing this throughout the semester.

1: Door Locking

As I mentioned, one roommate locks the door constantly, to the point you need to carry your keys to do laundry. Don't get me wrong, locking the door is important, but it's overkill if all of us have been locked out by her while getting the mail or doing laundry. Other than this one girl, none of us lock the door that much other than when it's dark. Because it's a small town, if we're home during the day we are not at much risk. And if something does happen, we have knives, a fire extinguisher, chairs, a meat tenderizier, scissors, pans, and about a thousand easily accessible forms of defense, and that's not including the pepper spray we all carry. I mean, I wouldn't lock the door if I was almost late to something if I knew there were other people at home. That was true for me, for Ellie, and for two of the others. It was only one girl that would straight up lock us out when we got mail.

Well, Ellie and I decided to be as strict at locking the door as possible all last week. And for a few days, that one roommate was less cold towards us. But that probably backfired when we locked her out when she went to do laundry. Because how dare we do that when all of us have to carry our keys to do laundry. I mean, we feel bad for it, but also we didn't actually know for certain that's what she was going to do. We saw her leave, she didn't lock the door, and the two of us were like kinda freaking out because that's hypocritical. We locked her out because it was almost 11pm, and since we didn't know for certain we wanted to be safe (and spiteful). We apologized to her, said that it was late and we didn't know that she left to do laundry, and she seemed to brush it off, but I know she's not happy about that because of how she's been lately.

In a couple weeks or something, we're going to stop locking the door (outside of when we need to for safety) and see how she reacts. Maybe. This is also something we're much more willing to compromise on than anything else, so that might not happen.

2: Dishes

I actually like doing dishes, but I'm tired of being the only one to do them besides Ellie. And there's so many issues. They don't put them away, they don't scrape them off, they leave them in the sink when the dishwasher is empty, they put them away in the wrong spots, it's driving me insane. So starting today I have hand washed my dishes only, same with Ellie. Everyone else can figure out the dishwasher.

At around 3:30 pm, I heard someone run the dishwasher. I was surprised because I very well know what the pattern is for dishes in our apartment. I would run it before I went to bed because we need a whole day to pass before the dishwasher is full. I got up 15 minutes later to look inside the dishwasher, because I was curious. And I hated it. For one, it was quite empty. None of us had eaten dinner yet, and because of homework my sleep schedule is jacked so I hadn't eaten anything at all by then so I had no dishes. If they had waited, the dishwasher would have easily been full by the end of the day. Second, half of the dishes on the top rack weren't dirty. When I woke up, I went and unloaded mine and Ellie's dishes and put them away so that our dishes would not interfere in the experiment. Someone else had already cleared out their dishes (yes, this person usually unload their own dishes but never puts the others on the drying mat, so no one can load the dishwasher), and then there's the two people that never unload their own dishes or put away their dishes, I always take theirs out so I could load the dishwasher myself. Half of the top rack was the dishes from the last cycle that had been ran the night before by me. So between the emptiness and the second running of dishes, I was pretty pissed at them.

Oh, and as for why they ran the dishwasher so early in the day when usually I'm the one running it at midnight? I'm pretty sure it's because they're mad at me for how I load it. I come from a family of 8 people. I know how to load a dishwasher and have as much dishes in it as possible. If there is room, I will use it. So, last night, I may or may not have loaded the dishwasher with two small plates, two small pans, and one of their lids on the top rack. All of them were partially washed by hand, so they were very clean when I unloaded it. And it's because at the bottom we had two mixing bowls a pot and several large plates. But there were like two bowls and three cups on the top rack, so I put stuff up there. Ideal? No. But I refused to run a dishwasher that was half empty when there were dishes in the sink. I woke up to them very loudly being upset by my loading ability. And I don't know how much they think I am involved in the dishes, since they're all in bed when I run it, but they do see me doing it throughout the day, but it was my pan and lid on the top rack, and they might have recognized it. So I suppose that my experiment may have been influenced by their hatred for my ability to fill a dishwasher. But over time as I don't do dishes, they'll probably get complacent. And there's already about half a rack full of dishes in the sink tonight that won't be done until tomorrow. Can't wait to see what nonsense they'll have going on this week.

After a week of handwashing only, I will move on to using the dishwasher again (may have to extend that if my roommates keep doing the dishwasher at unreasonable times because they're afraid I'll put a pan on the top when it was ONE TIME and will probably happen like maybe once more but probably not). But I will not touch their dishes. I will do Ellie's, because she is reasonable and will do her own fricking dishes, so I am willing to cut her slack if she leaves something in the sink because she's late to class or something or because she's soaking it (if she's soaking it, then I will make certain it's dishwasher ready before loading it). None of the others have proven to be rational when it comes to this, so I will not touch their dishes. If they put their own dishes in the dishwasher, I do not care. May have to rearrange them for space, but I'm willing to do that (and they'll probably hate that but I couldn't care less). I'll run it before I go to bed regardless of how full it is, because I will be running it the same amount of times as I would before so I'd feel less guilty (maybe). I might change that though to just that I won't run it until I absolutely need to have clean dishes, but we'll get there when we get there. In the morning, I'll unload mine and Ellie's dishes, put them away, and leave everyone else's in the dishwasher. There job to unload there dishes. If they wanted me to do that, they should have combined dishes for the sake of space. I'm not searching for where their dishes go. And if they don't do that by the end of the day? I'm going to hand wash my dishes before I go to bed because I refuse to leave dirty dishes of mine in the sink overnight.

And I think I will stick to that until I leave. I really don't mind doing dishes, what bugs me is that everyone expects it to be only me. Ellie doesn't do it as much as me, but that's because she knows I enjoy it. The others don't do anything because they know I'll do it for them. And I'm tired of that attitude. And if they start being decent and doing their dishes, then I'll be more willing to do theirs occasionally. But I'm tired of them using me because Ellie and I are the only ones who have any sense of responsibility and using the fact that I like doing dishes to their advantage. And I really shouldn't do dishes as often as I do. Eczema. Dish washing can make it worse.

That's all I have for now, but there will be more coming throughout the next few months. And if any of you guys have suggestions, I'll take them. Hope you have fun learning about Ellie and I being spiteful people.

#liv won't shut up #might need to come up with a tag for this soon darn it #i will be judged for my dishwasher loading & i know it #but also idc that much #at least yall will say it to my virtual face thats more courtesy than my roommates who just loudly complained in the kitchen instead of #saying something about it at all today to ellie or i #don't reblog

[notophelia]

Vax, the Briarwoods, and things both lost and gained in adaptation

[Spoilers for The Legend of Vox Machina episode 3 "The Feast of Realms" and also for Campaign 1 episodes 24 "The Feast” and 25 "Crimson Diplomacy," as well as a minor allusion to events later in the arc.]

In the midst of half the internet (quite understandably) losing the entirety of their shit over the hotness of the Briarwoods, and specifically of the Briarwoods toying with Vax (and Matt cheerfully assuring Mica during the watch party that the horny implications are "VERY intentional"), I've been utterly fascinated by that moment as a microcosm of how beautifully this whole adaptation thing is working.

As at least one post has pointed out, it's a very different experience from the first time around, not only because of the streamlining/tweaking of various plot details, but because it's a dizzyingly fast chain of events as opposed to a solid 40 minutes (not counting a WEEK in the midst of it, because cliffhanger) of mounting stress between paralysis and healing.

And that's true, and a function of the tools building the story making things read a bit differently, but there's also the factor of audience knowledge and expectation.

When we're watching them at the table, the game mechanics are always there. One of the key ways Matt facilitates immersion is by describing magic effects as perceived by the characters instead of naming them - for instance, telling Liam what Vax feels when his body is paralyzed without saying "Hold Person," and even giving him the cue of feeling something trying to penetrate his mind when he succeeds on the WIS save and isn't affected... which then leads to the hilariously bad attempt at pretending to have been affected.

Which, not gonna lie, I kinda missed in the TLOVM version. But it wouldn't really  have worked, and the way it does play out (a) is fucking terrifying, and (b) sets up the challenge they're about to be facing in a completely different, but equally effective, way.

The tools at Matt's disposal for the workings of Sylas' power in-game were clearly delineated: Hold, Charm, Suggestion, Dominate. He could keep a certain amount of mystery about what he was rolling behind that screen, and with things like making us wonder exactly what he intended to do to Vax's mind if Liam hadn't made that save. But it's the nature of the game for the mechanics to show.

In the animated series, though, things have space be... murkier. And they take full advantage of that - we see Vax struggling, and clearly he can't move, but we don't know if that's all of it.  Especially when it involves the same eye-glow visual effect established a few minutes before, when Sylas was very definitely manipulating Uriel's mind. Add in the way Vax's physical reaction (as noted by half the internet including Mica Burton) can be interpreted in more ways than just fear, and Sylas taking a moment to play with his food with that jaw-trace before the big chomp, and things get very murky indeed.

At this point, by the classic conventions of vampire media, Vax is presumed compromised. If I were coming to the show cold, with no prior knowledge of Critical Role or even of D&D, I would expect/hope to see increased vulnerability to Sylas' influence, probably being used against the group, drawing on the love of his sister and friends to resist and ultimately prevail. (And, as a side note, would think it was a nice little trope inversion to put him in that position instead of, say, Keyleth.)

Funny thing is... I do have that prior knowledge, and I still instinctively have those thoughts about it. Not only that, but I can see certain events as they played out in-game reading as exactly what I just described above.  It'll be interesting to see if they do!

(Also of note: All these people are children of the 70s and 80s whose formative vampire media experiences mirror my own. They know damn well this is what they’re doing. :-D)

#tlovm spoilers #cr1 spoilers #vax'ildan #sylas briarwood #delilah briarwood #you look delicious #i feel like this is expressing my thoughts very poorly #but it's the best i've got #i don't think in words okay guys #these thoughts take a lot of translating #vax and the briarwoods

[nanakah]

about Ishigami, his growth and Miko's role

most people, myself included, thought at some point that Tsubame's rejection (or acceptance) could wrap up Ishigami's arc and even his past's flashbacks neatly, but Osaragi's arc suddenly revealing there was more to his relationship with Miko made me reflect more and think nah...if anything we're halfway there. It also showed glimpses of him already struggling to find his place in the world by quitting his clubs, even though he was successful at them and there was no Ootomo incident yet to undermine his self-image.

It seemed odd that despite everything he went through he still has his "hair=shield/averting eyes" theme going strong, but it makes sense if you consider even though Tsubame helped him see the way to be more accepting of people and cleared his name, his self-esteem still is super low. I spoke of this in my "sutera" meta, but to Ishigami, his life still has been a sucession of failures and almosts. At his core, he still hasn't fully opened up to people or learned to use his vulnerabilities to his advantage.

If I have grabbed your interest thus far, keep reading for more considerations!

Tsubame is kind to anyone and attempted to do good for him, but ultimately he was never fully himself around her, nor she tried/he alllowed her reaching out to the deepest parts of his insecurities. She doesn't show her own flaws to him either and to this day we get the feeling we don't know her well, just the best parts that Ishigami wanted to see. Kaguya, Miyuki and Chika contribute a lot in a sibling-like way, but there's a limit to how much Kaguya in particular can inspire him. Miko however, has scratched a little beneath the surface and has expressed an interest in helping him with that, even if he himself is still avoiding the topic. She's also more relatable to him in the sense that the rest of the stuco has a history of successes in their lives, while he was able to watch Miko's hardships and failures closely. Their panic attacks even look similar and they're always watching the other to provide backup (in a very roundabout way, at least before) when they happen.

While their personalities are fundamentally different, his arc and struggles remind me a lot of Miyamura from Horimiya and today, as I was musing on what is so different about them as of now, I believe it's how Miyamura didn't have a single *traumatic* mistake to get over, so he goes down his development road much faster. Putting it another way, it's ultimately that Ishigami hasn't yet learned to be kind to himself like Miyamura has through Hori. Like Shirogane and Kaguya are through themselves. In Miyamura's case, sympathizing with how Hori despite her strong exterior can be very fragile inside but still support him (fight for him, defend him, accept his true self, not judge him, hear him, make him feel good enough) made him feel compelled to grow stronger to protect her back.

Miko as she was at the beggining of the story couldn't provide Ishigami this sort of stability (and that's where Osaragi's "prettier story"/"you weren't there for him" reasoning fails) even if deep down she wanted to, but now after making many mistakes, learning from them and becoming more flexible, she absolutely can. Both Ishigami and Miko have deeply rooted issues that took them more than just each other to flesh out and develop, but they're very much the missing puzzle piece the other needs.

Miko still very much has room for growth as well, mainly concerning finding a middle ground between her "bad girl" and "good girl" personas that Ishigami can easily see through, as demonstrated by the consolation chapter. She tried being "bad", she attempted lying but was still saying half-truths, because her love of justice isn't just out of parental abandonment issues or loneliness - she does believe them sincerely. The moment Ishigami headpated her and shared genuine, spot-on words of concern and admiration (thus a hint of fondness), it was all over for her trying to keep up the love-warfare upper hand.

That's not actually new - Ishigami has always demonstrated he was able to see glimpses of her true self, be it teasing how she's an otaku or a closet pervert and such, he never fully bought the strait-laced image she aspired to make real. But it did take him being around her more to see she could be sweet to him and as he puts it, that smiling more is not a bad look on her. Miko says to Osaragi your true self only comes through interacting with others, so given how lonely she has always been (and how the one person close to her - Osaragi - was actually keeping things between them superficial because of her own problems), it's no surprise she's only finding out now who she is. Ishigami can help Miko find a better compromise of good/bad after both not following any rules at all for so long and recently learning that hard work can pay off. Miko immersing herself in his hobby will clash with her rigid study schedule sooner or later, and he'll know how to help her with that better than anyone else.

On the other hand, Ishigami's moral compass, romanticism (love for flowers, planing dates etc) and idealism aren't things he is proud of...yet. He protects himself with layers of cynism, especially in his first appearances, but he is always being contradictory and letting it slip how idealistic/pure he is at heart. He also is only now learning to like his outward image with things like fitness/studying and finding out it's not like he never cared about it - it's just that he was scared shitless of failure, thus never even tried hard in the first place to avoid being hurt. And as I have advocated for in the Sutera post, I expect Miko in some level to help him come to terms with seeing good in himself. Heck, even being able to game with her now and showing off how good he is and having her appreciate it is gonna do wonders to make him feel more "adequate". Tsubame's arc had a lot of him changing himself to become "better", but Miko on the other hand is trying to put herself in HIS shoes to maybe go "hey, I like you as you are. I'm trying to understand you more and put effort in for you".

Ishigami and Miko start out watching out for each other behind their backs - which instead of helping their relationship, drives them further apart because they think the other side is showing no appreciation. As the story progresses, they're slowly learning to make each other more aware of their support, and it is making them open up more in general.

They have a strong belief the other wants to be rescued and there is truth in that. Both want help and to be recognized for their efforts, but won't cry out for it. In the unplugged earbuds chapter Ishigami takes it upon himself to protect Miko's reputation in spite of himself, the election arc has him actually putting effort into the campaign just for the sake of protecting her and at first posing as a rival of hers to Shirogane only to reveal he's trying to "make Miko smile", he is constantly fending off men from interacting with her as protection (while also sounding jealous), he was way more protective of her when she was wearing that cast than needed and is now being able to openly headpat her and sounds almost like her "soothing sounds" from the days of yore lol Sure Tsubame seems like his start to becoming "a better man", but all the way back on the election, it was for Miko's sake that we first SEE him putting effort into *anything* without being coerced by anyone to take action.

And while it's more discreet compared to Ishigami's "white knight" attitude, Miko also tries hard to protect him - cheering him on during the sports festival race and wanting to console him before the stuco intervened, telling him he should study (but he thinks it's just nagging), christmas (which I'll elaborate bellow), making sure he was able to graduate middle school by actually confronting school staff and, of course, their very first meeting as recently revealed.

Many people hated the entirety of Osaragi's arc, but 232 gave very juicy info indeed. Ishigami's reason for supporting Miko from the shadows comes from admiration AND part gratitude for her attempting to talk to him and listen to what troubles him, and seeing they actually had a "falling out" argument was game changing.

He looks sad and troubled to have shut her down there, not simply angry, and so does she (there's tears in her eyes when her face is shown in the next page) - despite her black and white sense of justice at this point of the story, she still wanted to listen to him. And even after that outburst she still believed the rumors weren't real, unlike Osaragi sees it - otherwise she wouldn't have made the effort for him to be able to move on to high school. Why would she care, if she truly hated him and thought he was in the wrong?

If any further proof was needed at all that this info is important, I'm happy to say we have more. I noticed the Christmas stairs scene mirrors this exact falling out moment: "Go away"/"Suit yourself"

But this time Miko had already decided to change, had already seen the mess their relationship became the last time she did not reach out to him and thus already had their previous falling out in mind - meaning she decides to chase after him.

I don't like how the scanlations handled this scene because reading the japanese raws, my interpretation was that Miko was sounding "annoying" because she was still kinda drunk/unfiltered and freaking out when talking to Ishigami, not outright berating him like the Jaimini's box translation made it look like. She also sounds too angry after the fall, so I generally thought Viz's version (the panel shown above) was closer to the original.

"I always have to take care of you! You keep putting youself in danger. You can't make it on your own." is a better translation than Jaimini's, and also parallels better what Ishigami is often telling Miko as well (That she keeps putting herself in danger and that he has to be around to keep her in check). But with 232 in mind, I think it misses a nuance of the original line: "ほんとあんたは 私が居ないと危なっかしく駄目ね" - "Honto anta wa watashi ga inaito abunakkashiku dame ne" - while I'm a novice at japanese studies, gathering from what I can read and trying to get a feel of the whole sentence, it's closer to "So it really is dangerous to you if I'm not there/ It's no good if I'm not around you". You can take that as her being full of herself, which is the route Jaimini's goes ("You'd be screwed without me") but that's too hostile - Viz's got the spirit of wanting to protect him better, but the original has an implication that she has "tested not being there"/failed being there before (due to not fully siding with him in middle school) that's absent elsewhere.

IMO the reason Ishigami's "closed his eyes" arc is not over yet is because he hasn't accepted or gotten over or fully learned from his past yet, he simply shut it down. That's why briefly during the sports festival his eyes are in plain view, then go back to their usual for the balloon gag. I'm not sure if Ootomo herself will make a comeback, may or may not - regrets are regrets and sometimes the only solution to them is letting them stay in the past. But the topic of how he saw Miko in middle school and the letter certainly are being set up to still show up in the story.

If I compare him to Miyamura again, he'd still be at the point before Miyamura's haircut - not wanting to face the parts of himself he doesn't like, not quite ready to change. Not quite ready to patch up his own wounds yet and instead silencing everything from his past.

In this sense, Miko does wonders to make him feel more confident even if he hasn't realized it yet, and she's always dropping little hints she'd like him to worry about his future not in a naggy way, but because she genuinely prays for his success. He unconsciously wants Miko to think well of him and it fills him with confidence and a more prideful image of himself he doesn't really display to anyone else, not even Tsubame - like his usages of "ore" (a more manly/confident way of addressing himself) around her (AND HER ALONE):

( I don't like the available translations to the staircase scene either, lol. Zaibatsu has conveyed the tone of the second scene up there perfectly. For the staircase line, I've seen "I'll be there to catch you" and "I'll save you" which are contextually correct, but to me the original "俺が絶対守る" - "I (ore) will absolutely protect you" carries a much more romantic nuance or ambiguity, regardless of him realizing it at that point. It's like, the title to one of the most romantic moments/songs in the CCS Clear card anime ost, for instance. OF COURSE MIKO LOVES HIM. The narrator doesn't overexplain or take apart Ishimiko's interactions like for Prezguya, but all the evidence needed is there. And I gotta add the very next chapter to the staircase one is the "eternal love" x "real love" I'm super fond of that says fate is irrelevant and to find real love you must use your head to realize/understand things, so makes the romantic subtext even greater.)

This whole affair is also making me open my eyes that I should try to study japanese more...of course I'm happy to have translations and scanlators working hard, but there is something inherently lost in adaptations because it robs you of connecting with the author's intentions unless it was the author who wrote the translation in the first place

Thinking back on Ishigami's early "i wanna die/i'm going home/don't look at me" role, it seems unbelievable we're at the point he's now able to directly confront a "stranger" (lololol) or make serious promises with so much confidence.

PLEASE DON'T END SO SOON MANGA, I NEED MORE.

( off-topic kind of, but i'm lazy to make a separate post just for it: Since I mentioned things lost in translation, I saw something on Discord about Ishigami having an unreliable narrator moment in the "compliments" chapter/Iino Miko cannot love part 4 and holy molly, it is true. He first says something akin to "You're just too beautiful" out of context, Miko HEARS IT - and that's why she looks so shocked before asking for clarification - and he DID SAY IT in the speech bubble, but after she's nice to him and he thinks back to what he said he adds a "Your handwriting is just too beautiful" to his flashback. I'm ONTO HIM. ONTO HIM I SAY. It is what he meant, but it's like his mouth betrayed him. Whether it's unconscious or denial...it totally is something. The scanlation completely skips this and had the same line both times it's mentioned.)

#kaguya-sama #kaguya-sama spoilers #meta #ishigami yu #yu ishigami #ishimiko #it's ishigami focused but i'd be a dirty liar to say i'm not at least a lil bit biased #longpost #spoilers #yes i am an overthinker and overanalyzer did u notice #horimiya spoilers #yeah i kinda mentioned miyamura lol #i'm not even procrastinating anything this time i just rly care for them #kaguya-sama meta #this is a clown here that procrastinated 3 months to write a thesis but is churning out meta after meta for manga #plz forgive typos i'm still lazy to spellcheck this one lol #ishiino #ishigami using ore again to invite miko to the dance makes this post qualify for fridge brilliance now

[s1rcus]

The Road to Love and Truth (Blackhill)

Rating: Teen and up

Words: 2827

Chapter: 2/2

Fandoms: Marvel

Characters: Natasha Romanoff, Maria Hill, Steve Rogers, Nick Fury

Additional tags: -

Summary: Maria struggles after her night with Natasha. She gets some good advice from Steve.

Authors note: Blackhill Bingo square I3 "Steve Rogers"

Story below the cut or in AO3 here

Maria still has a huge headache. She's been debating taking another aspirin to ease it down for the past 10 minutes, but it hasn't been too long since she took the first one and it might just not be working yet. The situation with Romanoff might not be helping either.

Without thinking she's making her way towards Phil's office. She's not sure why, she knows she won't talk about something like this to him. He's a good friend but she just can't talk about her sex life with him, less about feelings. Maybe he'll have some work she can do to distract her from the night before. She can't use her key card on a day off, (Fury has made it very clear she's not supposed to be doing work during any type of leave) so she can't go to her own office to continue work.

Phil isn't in his office. Now that she actually thinks about it, he has been on a mission since yesterday. She still needs something to distract her though. Maybe Fury would let it slide this once if she'd go do work, but she'd rather not see him right now. She decides to just go for a walk. Hopefully that'll clear her head a little.

------

The fresh air does help her headache and clears her head just the tiniest bit as well. She stands outside of the Triskelion for a short time and decides to go for a short walk along the river.

She keeps her eyes mostly on the water as she walks hands in the pockets of her sweats. She probably should've changed if she's honest, but she didn't want to go back to her room. SHIELD agents weren't that rare sight around these parts, but they definitely didn't go out in their gym clothes. She kicks around some pebbles every once in a while that are lying around the sidewalk.

She loses track of time, trying to just focus on nothing but the movement of the water. And she might have let her guard down, because she gets startled, when a hand taps her on the shoulder.

"Maria, what are you doing out here?"

"Jesus, Steve. Warn a girl next time."

"I literally yelled your name when I saw you. You're not usually this distracted. Are you okay?"

There's concern on his face and Maria doesn't like it one bit. She's fine, and even if she wasn't, everyone else needs to think she is.

"Everything's fine," she lies.

Steve gives her a long look, not quite believing her.

"You can always talk to me, you know? Whatever it is that's bothering you, I'll listen."

Damn Steve, and his kind heart.

"I know," she says.

"Okay, well I'm gonna finish my run. Come and find me if you want to talk about whatever this is," he says as he runs past her.

Maria just waves him off. She continues along the river for a while longer until her headache becomes worse again. Deciding it's best to just go back and take another aspirin, she turns around and heads towards the Triskelion again.

------

Eventually Maria realises she needs to talk to someone so she heads towards Steve's quarters and knocks on his door. He opens the door with a smile. They're good friends but it's quite rare she actually ends up on his doorstep.

"Hey, Maria. What's up?"

"I slept with Natasha," she answers as she pushes past him into his room. She sits on his bed, head in her hands. She hears the door click shut as Steve closes it.

"Not what I was expecting. How are you feeling?"

Maria groans at the question, "I don't know. I find out she's queer and few days later I find her in my bed. That's not how that should go. And worst of all I want to do it again, but I don't think I can just keep it at that."

"So you want to ask her out?"

"I think so?" She says and lays down on the bed so she can stare at the ceiling. "But I'm her superior, it's unprofessional, not to mention way too complicated. How am I supposed to be able to send her out there, if I'm worried if she'll make it back? How is Fury supposed to trust in me, if I get compromised because of her? Or what if I make the wrong decision, because I can't--" Steve cuts her off. She feels the bed dip, as he sits next to her on the bed and places a hand on her knee.

"Maria, you're forgetting one important thing, she's the Black Widow, she knows how to handle herself. Do you know how many times she's saved me out there? Because I've lost count by now. And Fury won't see you any differently if you start showing normal people emotions. Also stop worrying about 'what if's. Those are situations you can't know the answers for before it's too late. And for the record, I think you're already compromised. You care more about her than you know. Have for a long time."

"Fuck", Maria breaths the word out.

"Language."

"No, I actually fucked up."

"What did you do?"

"I just left her. She wanted to talk, and I just left her. I wasn't thinking clearly. I told her it was a mistake. Well it technically was because that was definitely not how I wanted that to go, but… I let her believe I don't want her. Shit!" She gets up quickly and starts pacing around. "I gotta go find her. Tell her that I'm sorry for how I treated her. That last night was great. Not that I really remember anything. To hopefully ask her properly out." She freezes on her tracks and turns to face Steve. "What if she says no? How am I supposed to continue working with her then?"

"Maria", Steve warns her.

"Right, won't know the answers before it's too late." She takes a deep breath. "Okay, I'm gonna go to find her. I wonder where she could be."

"At the gym with Barton."

"How would you know that?"

"Just a hunch."

------

She does find Natasha at the gym. She's beating up Barton at the mats. Maria decides to just stay by the door and watch, she'll notice her eventually. Natasha seems more tense than normal, maybe even a little angry. She doesn't move around as smoothly as she usually does. Her movements are a little more jacked, more forced. Maria realises that she's not fighting with a clear head. She's trying to push her feelings out. Maria was the reason the Widow's usually flawlessly smooth fighting style looked harsh and broken. It makes her heart twinge.

Eventually Natasha pins Barton down and he taps out. She gets up and her gaze shifts to Maria's. Maria physically flinches under her gaze. She quickly straightens her back and neutralises her face, when Barton gets back onto his feet and notices her presence.

"Commander," he coughs, eyes moving from Maria to Natasha and back again. After a couple of beats of silence he starts backing towards the men's locker room. "I'll just go then."

Maria just looks at Natasha, not really sure what she's supposed to say. Before she's able to say anything, Natasha turns on her heels and heads towards the women's locker rooms. That gets Maria on the move as well. She runs after Natasha and grabs her from the upper arm.

"Natasha wait," Maria says and Natasha stops on her tracks. "I'm sorry about earlier. Can we talk?"

Natasha turns around and Maria tries to look as apologetic as she can. Natasha just stares at her for a while.

"Fine. My quarters in 10."

Maria nods and drops her hold of the other woman. She didn't even realise she had still been holding her upper arm. Natasha eyes her quickly once more before she turns around again and heads out of sight to the locker room. Maria just stands still for a while, looking after her, until she spins around as well and heads out of the gym and towards Natasha's quarters.

------

Natasha is punctual as ever, and appears exactly 10 minutes later. Maria follows her silently into her room. Natasha sits down on her bed, one leg under herself while the other hangs off the edge. Maria is reminded of the morning. She stays standing near the door, but is faced towards Natasha. She's trying to figure out her words, even though she's been trying to figure out what to say ever since she walked out of Steve's quarters.

"Well?" Natasha prompts her.

"I fucked up. I'm really sorry for how I treated you. I panicked and I fucked up. I try my best to keep my private life and work separate, and I mostly live at work so… I'm having a hard time, to put it lightly. I also have never done this before."

"What? Been with a woman?" Natasha asks with a serious tone. It takes Maria a beat to realise she's not actually seriously asking that.

"No, Romanoff. You know that's not what I meant. I mean sleeping with a co-worker. Actually kinda never slept with anyone without being on a date first. And especially never had someone in my bed in a SHIELD facility."

"So I was your first one night stand?"

"About that, I wouldn't mind doing it again."

"Was I that good?" Natasha asks with a smirk.

"Natasha! I'm not talking about the sex. I'm talking about all of it. Everything since the mission. Spending time together at that bar and during the mission and also everything that came after."

"Wow. Is Commander Hill getting soft?"

"No,” she says. Taking a breath she continues, “I'd just like to see if this could become something. You're one of the few people around here who I can stand, and I actually had a really nice time yesterday. And I'm not regretting what happened after, so that probably says a lot."

Natasha gives her a small smile.

"What changed?"

"What do you mean?"

"You left the room in such a hurry and now you're here saying you don't regret it."

"Yeah, that. I might've talked to Steve and he had some good advice."

"You went to Steve?" Natasha's voice sounds almost scandalous.

"Who else would I go to? Fury? Do you think I have many friends around here? People who I could talk to?"

"Fair enough."

"So, if I'd ask you out on a date what would you say?"

"I would love to, but do you really want to go on a date? Because I feel like we're not the dating kind of people."

That was actually fair, she did always hate going on dates.

"What do you suggest then?"

"How about this?" Maria is really unsure about how she should feel about the smirk that follows that one simple question.

Natasha gets up and walks towards Maria. She stops when their chests are basically touching. She grabs Maria's hands and wraps them around her waist. Then she wraps her own arms around Maria's neck and rises up on her toes to kiss her. Maria basically melts into it. Eventually she lifts Natasha up and they move on the bed. Natasha seems very impressed that Maria can lift her. Maria might be a bit hurt about that.

------

When they decide to leave for an early lunch (neither remembered to eat breakfast), they're barely 100 feet down the hallway from Natasha's room, when they're stopped by a junior agent.

"Commander, Agent Romanoff. Director Fury wants to speak to both of you."

Maria and Natasha exchange a look.

"Did he say what about?" Maria asks.

"Not really," the Agent answers but there's a look on his face Maria doesn't like. It's like he knows something he shouldn't.

Maria debates for a little bit, if she should push and get some answers from him but decides against it. She dismisses the agent and starts heading towards the Directors office with Natasha.

They get a couple weird looks and smiles on the way there. They walk the whole way in silence. Both clearly trying to figure out what Fury wants from them.

Fury sees them immediately, which tells Maria that it's something important. She's getting nervous. Natasha is here as well, so her mind goes only to a specific direction, but how would Fury know?

"Director Fury, you wanted to see us?" Maria greets him.

"Hill, Romanoff. Has either of you checked the news today or any social media?"

Natasha shakes her head. She's been awfully quiet after they ran into that agent.

"No, sir. I haven't checked my phone at all today. Pretty sure it's dead anyway. I've been a bit distracted," Maria answers truthfully. There's no point in lying.

"Well, you probably should stay out of social media for a little while but that's just a suggestion. Do you have anything else to report to me?" His eye shifts from Maria to Natasha and back.

He knows. Maria takes a deep breath. She feels Natasha's hand touch hers, a sign that it's okay.

"Yes, sir. We, uh... Natasha and I are involved."

"Will it be affecting your work?"

"No, sir."

"Then I'm happy for you," he says with the slightest hint of a smile.

Maria is surprised and she can sense that so is Natasha. She lets her posture get a little more relaxed.

"Now to the real reason I invited you in," Fury says as he pulls some tabloid articles up on the screen behind himself. They're all saying basically the same thing: Black Widow at a gay bar with a mystery woman . Some of them have clearly done a better job with trying to figure out who this "mystery woman" is because a couple of them have actual pictures of Maria along with her name. And there's pictures. Pictures of them kissing, the intense looks they changed during that night and pictures of them leaving together.

"We tried to get them down before they spread too far, but clearly we didn't manage that. Anything about the Avengers' personal life spreads like a fire. I'm sorry about the situation it puts you in."

Both of the women just nod. There wasn't anything to say. Fury takes this as his answer and turns off the screen.

"Well then, you're dismissed. Hill, if you could stay for just a little longer?"

Natasha squeezes her shoulder a little before she steps out of the room.

"Sir?"

"No reason to be that formal anymore. This is just me checking on you. How are you feeling?"

"Well, that's a lot, but I think I'm fine. It's not the way I wanted things to go, but I guess it's good that it's out. If we wish to go out, now we don't need to worry if someone sees us or not."

"Okay, still I wish the situation wasn't this. I strongly suggest that you don't check any social media for the next few days. I know you think you can handle it, but there's gonna be some bad stuff there and I'd prefer the dust settles a bit first. Also if anyone, and I mean anyone, in SHIELD gives either of you a hard time because of this, let me know. I will handle it. It's out there, so everyone knows. I wish you could've handled this on your own terms, but the situation is what it is."

Maria smiles at him.

"Thank you, Director. I know I said it won't affect my work, and I truly believe and hope so, but if it ever seems like I'm putting her before the mission; pull me out of it, if possible. I know I won't be happy about it, but I need to know that I won't be making mistakes because I'm compromised."

"Of course. But I have full belief that you'll do great even then."

Maria nods and heads towards the door but Fury's voice makes her turn around before she gets to open it.

"Also, before you go. I am truly happy for you, Maria."

Maria smiles at him and nods her thanks and joins Natasha on the other side of the door.

Natasha hugs her as she closes the door. Maria circles her arms around her and presses her cheek against Natasha's head.

"That went better than I expected." She hears Natasha mumble against her chest.

"It did," Maria agrees.

"I'm so sorry about the articles though. If I would've just realised--" Maria quiets her with a kiss.

"Natasha, there's nothing you could've done about it. The second we walked in there everyone was paying extra attention to us. Those articles would be there even if we hadn't kissed. I'm just glad we did. I don't think I would've ever dared to take this step otherwise," Maria says. She looks Natasha in the eye and they exchange smiles. "Now, how about that lunch?"

#bhb21 #blackhill #maria hill #natasha romanoff #Black Widow #marvel #MCU #My fic

[bruhman745]

whoooshh scar songs 2/2:

don't you know who i think i am?

a penny for your thoughts but a dollar for your insights/or a fortune for your disaster

this man. this man swindles people out of their everything. but at the same time, he loses his everything every single day, sometimes multiple times. he's not really gaining or losing much- if anything, he's losing more than he's gaining.

I'm just a painter and I'm drawing a blank

scar himself, by his own character, is a creator. he paints pictures, scenes, landscapes, cities, myths. scar is. not allowed to help directly with grian's and mumbo's romance and he is in pain.

they say quitters never win/but we walk the plank on a sinking ship

this line is saying, in summary, if scar quits, it's so he can fail on his own accord as opposed to being indebted to others. (it also feels like a line that grian would tell him, and he would have to point out that it's not a sinking ship- grian's just not looking at the docks) he kinda does this, to be honest. if he dislikes something, he won't stop until he's perfected it, but he's also loyal to a cause to a fault.

i could learn to pity fools as i'm the worst of all

i. i refuse to believe scar knows nothing. he must suspect grian's got wings. i feel like while he knows a lot about what's happening, he dislikes that there's stuff he doesn't know. but unlike mumbo, he understands not to push so strongly on things in general.

broken down on memory lane/alone together, we're alone (whoa)

i'm not sure why but this line feels like scar and grian's enchanting sessions. sure, scar's teaching grian, but they're mostly two friends hanging out- one friend helping significantly more than the other. but those meetings feel like a tiny little bubble, where no-one could ever overhear anything.

uh once again sorry for brainrotting in your inbox and i hope you have /have had a wonderful day! i hear songs and i create stories too easily \:

~☁️

YES YES YES

the first line is just SO on point for scar. hes always working towards something and hes gonna get it no matter what (bartering, swindling, cooperating, compromising, etc.)

(it also feels like a line that grian would tell him, and he would have to point out that it's not a sinking ship- grian's just not looking at the docks)

wow, yeah. ur so right about this actually. scar tends to put things on their head and really look at them in a different perspective. he's the little beam of hope in the cave of pessimism that is w&w Grian.

u might not be so wrong abt him not being completely clueless ;)))

AND YES YES YES I ABSOLUTELY AGREE WITH THE LAST PART ABOUT THEIR LESSONS! it's a private little world of their own where they can grow and understand and change and the vibe of that little bit at the end of the song just makes so much sense when u relate it to their sessions. its really great and i love it

also i dont mind the brainrot!! i also create lots of stories listening to music. I'm literally filming a rlly short (like under a minute) piece on Saturday w/ a couple of friends that is VERY LOOSELY based on the song "The (After) Life of the Party" by fall out boy (who could've guessed). maybe ill post it here but idk yet

#bmanons #bmanswers #☁️ anon

[jojikawa]

•.¸♥¸.•*´💖PREY💖´ *•.¸♥¸.•

💎 SUMMARY: -♥-♡--^[ Izuku allows himself to be persuaded an manipulated by an attractive female villain using her quirk to cloud his judgement and hide her true nature ]^--♡-♥-

💎PAIRING: Izuku Midoriya/Reader

💎WORD COUNT: 2,416 words 12,951 characters

You were apart of the League of Villains. Just a mere school girl like your friend, Toga. It wasn’t until you joined them when you met her. You guys would get along fine and would have fun annoying Dabi together and you trusted her enough to willingly give her a blood sample so that she could impersonate you if needed. 

➢One

Two

Three (soon)

After U.A. getting so much attention from the Sports Festival, Shigarki had ordered you to enroll in the school and be a continuous spy for the League. Toga would assist you during the Licensing Exam. 

Getting into the school was easy and smooth. Shigaraki had some underground workers forge recommendations for you and the main group of class 1-A automatically liked you with the exception of Katsuki Bakugo. He just rubbed you the wrong way and no matter what you did to charm him he just couldn’t stand the fact that you’d also associate with Izuku. 

Over sometime, it had become obvious that Izuku was with All Might somehow, just like Tomura had described to you. You needed to figure out why exactly. The best way to get things out of him would be to see how well your quirk works on him. Your experiments went something like this:

You waited until Izuku was alone. You noticed that he would run off and speak to All Might. You didn’t hear much but it came to your attention that he did not know how to use his quirk. He often hurt himself and tried to cover it up. It was a sunny spring day and the conditions for stalking the adorable little Izuku was more than perfect.

You watched him train for a bit before revealing yourself. Seeing him so hard at work sparked the ‘Alpha’ in you. You wanted to be the one who could tame this power he harnessed. 

“Izuku~” You called out to him. He recognized your voice! The scent of the area changed. It smelled...sweet. Izuku didn’t exactly know you but the scent of you and your presence made him feel comfortable and at ease.

“(l-l/n)-chan!” He replied with a stutter but before he could turn around you snaked your arms around his waist and pulled yourself close to him. The feeling of your breasts against his back enticed him and made him melt on the inside. He was getting contact with the new pretty girl. 

“What are you doing out here all by yourself?” You questioned, releasing him from your grasp. He turned around, face red from blushing and more awkward than ever. He was trying to come up with an excuse to throw you off but your stare was so alluring and hypnotic.

"I-I'm just practicing! What are you doing here? I thought I would have more privacy." He muttered, rubbing the nape of his neck and looking off to the left, as he was too shy to maintain eye contact.

"Practicing?" You tilted your head in an adorable way. "For the licensing exam?" You pretended to think for a moment. You knew what he was doing.

Izuku nodded. "Yeah! There's going to be a physical test so I wanted to be ready!" He told you. "Were you trying to find a place to practice too, (l/n)-chan? If you want, I can leave-"

You moved closer to him and silenced him by placing your hands on his chest. "Please, Izuku, call me (y/n). And I was hoping I could do it with you." You chirped with a smile. Your smile made him feel tingly inside. “With me? I thought you’d want to do it with someone else. Maybe with Uraraka or-”

“No, silly. You need to have more faith in yourself. We just met but I can already tell you’re being more than just modest. I saw your performance at the festival. There’s no one else I’d rather train with.” 

This made this Izuku ecstatic on this inside. But he couldn’t shake this feeling that he was in danger. He assumed the feeling came from how you interrupting him in his thought and might’ve heard is talk with All Might, but he didn’t want to assume things about you. “Wow, (y/n), that means a lot.” He blushed deepened and he didn’t deny your touch.

You grinned. It was working. Your quirk was nicknamed “Love and Beauty” It’s passive allowed you to get closer to others without trying and it’s main power allowed you to keep someone infatuated with you. Some emotions can cut your power off such as a natural disliking, explaining why Katsuki Bakugo seems to be immune right now. Maybe when he softens up it can work. 

“Good”

From that day forward, you gave Izuku extra attention but you would make yourself scarce, allowing him to miss you. He noticed that you called him “Izuku” and not “Deku” or “Midoriya”. It was off-putting at first but he grew to like the sound of his name more and more. 

You had realized that you were making a lot of the first moves and felt that maybe you came on a little too strong?

The other students saw the way Deku would act without you. He seemed like he was almost on edge and often zoned out. It was obvious he was developing Separation Anxiety. A side effect of your quirk. You knew that if someone you used it on started acting indifferent then it was working.

Ochaco was the first to figure out what could've been going on. Izuku had a crush on you and you most likely felt the same way if spend so much time with him in private. She disliked that he had been throwing away his social life to master his quirk and then kiss up to you.

She waited until the end of the class talk to him about it.

"Deku!" She spoke cheerfully. "We're all going to the mall again soon. Would you wanna go this time? Aizawa said he would have Principal Nezu beef up security so that we can have a good time!" She explained with her school supplies in hand.

Izuku grimaced and scratched the back of his head. "Oh, hey, Uraraka! I would love to go but I promised (y/n) that we would hang out after school hours." He laughed awkwardly and fiddled with the bandages around his fingers. This made Ochaco frown. "Are you sure, Deku? You haven't really been yourself lately. We don't really hang out anymore."

"I've just been caught up with studying and training. (y/n)'s been a really big help. She always takes care of my injuries so that I'm not always held up at Recovery Girl's office." Izuku smiled his usual smile at the thought of you soothing his wounds. "I understand but-" Ochaco's words were cut off by your appearance.

Without a word, you had snaked your way behind Izuku. Any normal person would have been startled but it was almost like he expected it. "What's taking so long, Izu?" You asked him in a firm but sweet voice with your gaze on the girl in front of you. Your eyes were piercing Ochaco like a sword. "(y/n)! I was just talking to Uraraka. She was inviting us to hang out at the mall today." Izuku replied.

Really, she had invited him, not you but-

"Sorry, we can't do the mall today. Maybe next time. I'll be waiting outside for you, Izu~" you let go of your boy toy and left the room, making sure to let your eyes linger on Ochaco.

She was cute and a good friend but you feared she would figure out your true intent if you hung around her too much. Once you were out of sight, Ochaco continued. 

Izuku blushed and laughed nervously. “I-I kinda think she likes me!” 

“Deku, can’t you see the way she’s acting. No girl that likes you would keep you away from your friends. Since when was the last time we all hung out together? She’s not good for you.” She lamented. 

But her cries fell on deaf ears. Izuku’s system had already been compromised from your quirk. “I’m sorry, Uraraka but it’s all just for the licensing exam.” He reassured her. “I can try talking to (y/n) about hanging out with you guys until then. She's so good at what she does. Whenever I get hurt, she's always there to patch me up. She’s just shy!” He explained. 

Ochaco could tell that she may not have gotten through to him but she had to believe in him and she could live with that. It hurt that Izuku was being charmed by another girl. It was so obvious. Izuku inspired her so much and she wanted to be the one and now a sad prang sat in her chest because she had lost a game that she didn’t know she was apart of. You were so beautiful and your energy was so enticing.

“Alright, Izuku. We’ll see you soon. Please don’t keep us waiting too long.” She smiled kindly and left accordingly. “A-Alright!”

When Ochaco passed you on the way out, she didn’t make eye contact, nor did she even breath in your direction. You had picked up on her subtle feelings for Izuku but it was too bad she was in the crossfire. 

“H-Hey! Sorry for taking so long.” He ran over to you with his things in hand. Without a word, you gave him your bag of books, which he was happy to carry. “No problem, Izu~” 

The two of you began walking. You skipped and twirled around, occasionally glazing and giggling at the green-haired boy.

"So, what type of training are we focusing on today? I think I'm getting better at using small portions of my quirk so that I don't get hurt." He spoke, breaking the silence.

You looked directly at him. A brief silence before he went on. "N-Not that I don't like it when you take care of me. I appreciate you helping out so much."

"Mmm...nope!" you sped up your pace, ushering Izuku to speed up at well. "No? Oh, well, since we're free today, do you...think we can hang out with my friends sometimes? I know Kacchan scares you and it's hard for you to open up but I promise their good people." He cheered, happily. Your facial expression didn't change. You just wore a semi-fake smile.

He was definitely adorable and you didn't want to say no but getting caught up with the other kids could get you into a lot of trouble..

"If you're talking about today, then no. I have something else in mind...like the park." You moved closer look him and linked your arm with his. "I have a small surprise."

Izuku blushed at your closeness and huffed. "Okay then."

Once you got to the park, you found some clean ground under a tree and instructed Izuku to sit your things there.

It was such a beautiful day. The sun was perfect and made your skin look so radiant. The cool spring breeze was refreshing and Izuku couldn't help but bask in your presence. You were truly amazing to him.

So beautiful, understanding, and supportive. You felt so comfortable to be around and he could always smell this pleasant scent while around you.

Maybe this is what love was beginning to feel like.

You sat on the ground. "Come, Izu." You commanded and like the obedient pup he was, he listened.

"I have something important to talk to you about." You took his calloused hands into your soft delicate ones. His friends were going to become a problem soon. Your quirk would wear off if his feelings for you became too complex. You had to seal the deal.

Izuku furrowed his eyebrows. He wanted to feel happy but a nagging feeling on the back of his head didn't want him to. "Is it about-"

You silence him by squeezing his hand lightly and taking a deep breath. "It's not school-related or even exam related. I've spent a lot of time with you since coming to U.A. Before you, I've never had any friends or even someone I liked. I've been casted away and bullied for my looks but you bypass all of that and accept me for who I am." You stopped for a brief moment to locked eyes with him. He used this as a moment to get a word in.

"Of course (y/n)!...You're beautiful! Whoever thinks otherwise doesn't know what they're missing."

He didn't actually mean for that second part to come out. At this point, Izuku was allowing your intoxicating smell to infiltrate his senses. He interlocked his fingers with yours. His scarred skin being so rough in contrast to yours.

"Oh, Izu~" You leaned forward, so close that he could feel the ghost of your lips touching his.

He wanted to kiss you. He wanted to taste your sweet lips so badly.

You let go of his hands and cupped his face.

"You will make an amazing #1 hero. You deserve so mu-" before you could finish your speech, he kissed you.

Izuku just couldn't take it anymore. His hands reluctantly wrapped around your waist. You've used your quirk to charm other guys but you've never let one kiss you.

It felt so real.

He bit at your lip, asking to use tongue and you let him in. The kiss was so gentle and passionate.

When it came to needing air, you finally stopped. The boy back away, huffing and puffing from lack of breath.

Now it was your turn to blush. You placed your hands on you cheeks, as you felt them heating up. "Izu..." You whispered, nervously.

Izuku's eyes widened. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to—" He reached out to you but you just turned away slightly.

"I didn't know you were such a good kisser. I can't believe you stole my first kiss!"

"Y-Your first kiss?" He repeated. You giggled madly. "Yes! I took you for a timid one. I thought I was gonna be making all the first moves. You sure did prove me wrong."

"W-Well, I-I don't know what came over me. It just felt...right." He said, honestly. You cocked an eyebrow toward him. "Right? It felt right?"

"Y-Yeah, like...it was supposed to happen."

This was too easy.

"Like fate? So what does that make you and me?" You asked innocently but you already knew the answer.

"I want to be more than just friends! I want to be your boyfriend!"

#midoriya izuku #izuku x reader #mha izuku #mha #bnha #bnha x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #x reader #bnha fluff #fluff #bnha imagines #bnha angst #bnha deku #bnha+imagines #bnha fanfic #mha fanfic #izuku midoria x reader #bnha headcanons #izuku imagine #mha x reader

[rebelcap]

We are just not friends —Part 17

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.  

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually) 

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally. 

Series masterlist

Everything was supposed to be fine by now, the fears, issues, differences, and maybe even some resentment between the couple have been talked over, discussed, and even reached some kind of compromise for them to thrive as they wanted, and they wanted that. 

But they haven't talked shit, straight back like anything had happened or at least pretend that nothing was going on, at first they were willing to but Chris had left the day after the party for some meeting that he couldn't reschedule and let Sofia know through a text—he did call she choose not to pick up because she was passed out drunk on her bedroom floor also she didn't exactly know if she wanted to have that conversation. 

Chris also realized that she didn't want to talk about it after telling her to have a little patience, 

"Because I don't think we should talk about it over FaceTime," He said as she smiled politely and waves a hand over the screen. 

"Yeah. It makes sense," 

She still can't lie for shit. He thought, Chris, nodded and rubbed his beard. He chose not to tell her that now, so he shut it. 

They picked up where they left off as soon he came back—sex was amazing as ever, they had a few dates and Sofia started hanging out a lot with Scott and Chris, sometimes she even came over for diner with his family. 

Chris knew she was struggling, always smiling but he knew her—he could see her discomfort through her smile at first he felt for her, he knew that it was out of her comfort zone but then it just started to bother him.

And they still haven't sat down and had a full-on conversation about what went down at the party. 

"Why do I feel that you hate them sometimes," Chris said as soon as the door closed on his apartment back to Boston. They just returned from his home back at concord, he wanted to stay the night she didn't, it was too much. 

"What are you talking about?" Sofia frowned as she took off her jacket and hang it while looking at him. 

"My family," He said, putting a special emphasis on me, she felt that as a low blow but didn't say anything about it, for now. 

"I don't hate them, Chris. Why would you say that?," She defended herself and walked to the kitchen and started the coffee maker, just for the sake of doing something. Chris was hot on her heels. 

"God, Sofia. I can see it all over your face sometimes," Chris made a face and she just stared at him. "Like you would rather be anywhere in the world than there."

"Are you serious?" She laughed, he had to be fucking with her right now. 

"Does this sound like a joke to you? are you that dense?" He spits and Sofia just stared at him, the smile whipped off her face, and just… stared at him. 

 "Fuck off, Chris" Sofia frown and walked back to the little closet. 

"Oh, right just fuck off. That's all you have to say?" He said, more accusing her and Sofia rolled her eyes at him. 

"You're being a fucking asshole with no reason at all,"  Sofia put her jacket. 

"I'm being the asshole!?," 

"Yes." Sofia threw her arms and sigh. "I'm sorry I don't fulfill your fucking girlfriend expectations." 

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I know you fucking hate how I am, you think that I don't hear you that time that you wish I was more like Jenny—God fucking Jenny." She put both hands on her head. 

So, Jenny. 

Chris and Jenny had dated her before he even knew Sofia and dated once again after he broke up with her most recent ex, the one that he went back to again. Sofía knew they talked, on the regular. Yeah, we're friends, she's great. 

Alright, Sofia couldn't care less because she trusted Chris with being a responsible adult and don't fuck with her feelings. 

Until she heard that, a while back while she was in the kitchen and Chris and Scott were chatting in the living room. 

Chris stayed quiet for a moment until Sofia just laughed, opening the door and walking out of the house. 

"Sofia, come on," Chris said, walking behind her and she ignored him. 

"What? it is what it is." She turned around and shrugged. "I told you I was fucked up, you said that I wasn't. This is me being fucked up and you're comparing me with your ex and accusing me to hate your family." 

"Then explain to me what's going on?" Chris asked, walking right behind her. "Sofia!" 

"Fuck off." She muttered and kept walking away leaving Chris on the sidewalk. 

From: Chris E. 

—I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Please come back, let's talk. 

He texted as soon he got back to the house, his head was nosy and it aches, he felt awful, angry, frustrated, and exhausted. And he still fucking love her so much and want her that it was insane. 

Sofía walked back to her apartment, silently crying all the way because she didn't want to be like that, her life was hard, she had a rough childhood and didn't want to hang out with her family, her dynamics were fucked up, violent and toxic. 

That's what she was used to, her normal. So when she started hanging out with Chris fam, man. They were all glad to be together, had fun, and went on vacation together, and did everything together like happy, functional, healthy dynamics. 

Of course, Sofia was going to freak the fuck out, it was weird and made her feel alienated. It wasn't their fault and honestly, they were a bunch of good people and it wasn't their fault. 

She couldn't possibly say this to Chris, no way. He would never understand it and she knew what family always came first for him. There's no way that she'll be that person in the middle, it wasn't going to end well. Already she was feeling like it was meddling between Evans and felt awful. 

Not Chris or they deserve her bullshit. 

"Fuck."

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x latina! #Chris Evans x you #Chris evans x reader

[rosalesbeausderholle]

Sometimes I feel like at such a crossroads, because on the one hand, I have friends who identify as non-binary and I hear them about their experiences with dysphoria and the like and while everything is very abstract from what they tell me it's not something I can dismiss as purely a question of gender roles, because these are people who are aware of how those influence things and analyze it. Then again, it is possible that it is a question of gender roles but they don't really realize because it can be a very insidious things. But imo the way they just talk about it it does seem like not a merely social thing, but also as a whole it's just such an abstract difficult to follow thing that really only makes sense if you have other beliefs that let you build from that, and I just don't have that worldview.

Regardless, my friends are dysphoric, and I don't mind accommodating their dysphoria with using different pronouns, because I don't want my friends to be uncomfortable around me. Also I've been lucky, because my friends know about my radfem views, they dislike many radfems just like I dislike many trans activists, but we can agree on certain core things socialization and your sex impacts you (though I believe it impacts you to a bigger extent than they do), how online activism has too much of people being cruel to each other for no reason at all, and how the idea of "genital preferences" is stupid. But still we're in a kinda situation where we end up like wary-ish of each other, because I'm afraid they'll go hardcore mogai misogynistic and homophobic and they're afraid I'll go hardcore "terf". So we've agreed to just, talk it out if one says something that the other party finds hurtful/offensive etc, which is well, an adult kind of compromise you don't always find in this kinds of debates, and something I'd like a lot more of too, I wouldn't be so wary of people like this if I wasn't sure I was gonna be met with insults and aggression. Still, the situation can be tense at times, and I'm afraid it just won't last. If it doesn't, well, at least we've tried to make a neutral ground, I think people need more of those, and if it does, well, then it is proof that these debates don't always have to be so aggressive.

#liveblogging my life #but also they always talk about radfems dismissing trans men and radfems making fun of trans people appearance #and i agree with them that that's horrible #and i talk abt trans ppl harassing lesbians and painting us all as monsters and also wishing us to die for being homosexual #and they agree that's horrible #so like we're good! #but still I'm really nervous a lot of the time and anxious #and i don't know if i need exposure or distance #i just know that this whole topic just scares me #and I'm tired of it