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skyfallscotland · 2 days

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This somehow takes place both within and outside of BRV at the same time. Because unexplained time travel. That's why. It's also completely unpolished because it's 2am and I don't know what I'm doing here.

intertwining souls (we were never strangers)

In the seconds that have passed since he appeared from the tunnel, restraining my hands behind my back, a slight breeze has picked up, blowing my hair over my shoulder. Fuck. Silver-tipped brown strands float out towards him, as if reaching for his hand the way my heart aches to. I know immediately he’s made the connection. “There’s a very reasonable explanation for this.” I croak, my pulse fluttering with fear as he closes the distance between us, drawing one of his twin swords from his back.

“Oh fuck,” I curse, groaning as I hold my forearm tight against my closed eyelids. The cold texture of Sgaeyl’s scales is soothing against my throbbing temple and I let out a low whimper, rolling onto my side to press my head into the soft grass. “Holy shit.”

“Lía…” I groan aloud, listening for the heavy beat of wings over the buzzing in my ears. I can’t hear any. Did I blow my eardrums out? Carefully, I reach up with my other hand, feeling for any moisture. Nothing. I falter a little upon the realisation that I can hear wings in the distance, but not…here…

“Lía?” I call out, forcing back the bile that rises in my throat. I’d…fallen. I’d fallen and she hadn’t caught me and…she hadn’t followed me down at all. Slowly, I blink my eyes open, the fading sunlight sending a sharp pain rippling through my head. As I sit up, I run a hand over my hair. My braid’s come loose and the silky strands are now fluttering in the slight breeze, meaning I’ve lost the poisoned wire I usually wind through it. There’s no blood though, at least, so it must just be a concussion.

My brow furrows as I close my eyes, reaching. I reach…and reach, but…nothing. A panicked gasp escapes me. There’s nothing there. “Lía!” I call more urgently this time. The sky is empty. No. No, no, no, no. Even the time I’d been dosed with that awful serum I could still feel her there, lurking—as if hidden behind a frosted pane of glass. Now though…it was as if I’d never bonded her in the first place.

Frantically, I look down at my arm, sighing in relief as I see the green dragon relic twisting up and around my bicep, the Daggertail hidden beneath my vambrace. Ok, so we’re still bonded, I just can’t sense her. I don’t think anything could have happened to her—if it had, I’d be dead already—so…what, then?

The last thing I remember is being knocked off her spine from behind. I hadn’t seen it coming in the slightest. We’d been practicing my balance just over the flight field as she took to the sky, so I hadn’t been strapped in. Did she…not have time to catch me? That doesn’t make sense! Even if she hadn’t caught me in time, she’d still be here now—and so would the rest of my squad for that matter, Liam and Deigh were just ahead of me!

Gingerly, I pull myself to my feet, rotating my sore joints. Maybe I was…dreaming? Or I’m in a coma now, because there’s no way I actually fell from the back of my dragon and slammed into the ground without breaking anything.

In the time I’ve been contemplating, the sun has gone down fully and the moon has begun to rise, the entire sky a blanket full of stars. I turn on my heel, determined to get back to my room and find someone—anyone—who can tell me what the fuck is going on, when there’s a slight crack and my head snaps up in the direction of the hidden tunnel linking the field with the academic wing.

For a moment, panic thunders through me and I grip the dagger at my thigh in a closed fist, but then there’s a familiar cool brush against my skin and my spine relaxes. “Xade?” I call out, a slight frown on my face. “What the hell, it’s Wednesday!” I hiss, storming toward the tunnel. “You should be—”

I’m shoved backward, barely able to keep my balance as I trip over my own feet, shadows restraining me in the dark. “Fuck,” I curse. “That’s not funny.” I snap. “I have a concussion and Lía won’t answer me and I can’t channel so don’t—” He steps into the moonlight and my jaw drops. Malek deliver me. “Xaden?” My voice cracks.

He looks so cold, so closed off I barely even recognise him. It’s been a very, very long time since he looked at me like that, if he ever did. There’s movement at his side and Garrick steps through, followed by…Masen. “Oh gods.” If my hands were free, I’m certain one would be over my mouth right now. My eyes quickly run over their uniforms—cadet’s uniforms—and I realise I’m in big, big trouble. They each have two, small silver stars on the shoulder. Second-years.

“No. No, no, no, no.” I mutter.

“Yes.” He finally speaks, his eyes trailing over my form from head to toe. “And who might you be?” My partner—but not—paces toward me slowly, his lips tilting up viciously as he croons. “You’re wearing rider black and a wingleader’s jacket, but I’ve never seen you—” He pauses, his eyes widening slightly.

“Xaden, please!” I beg, panic muddling my senses. Something furious flickers in his eyes. “Baby, listen to me—” His shadows slip for a split-second as if in surprise and almost simultaneously, the ground shakes, rattling my teeth together. Half a sob escapes my mouth and I turn on my heel and run. I don’t know what makes me think she’s the better option, that she’ll recognise me when my partner, the love of my life doesn’t.

“Sgaeyl!” I yell, boot-covered feet carrying me full-tilt toward her. “Sgaeyl!” His shadows tug at my ankles and I don’t know if it’s a happy accident or if he meant for it to happen, but it means I go flying into the grass just as her teeth snap shut where my head once was. “Are you fucking kidding me?!” I shriek.

“LÍA!” I scream at the top of my lungs. “LÍA!”

“Quiet!” Xaden snaps, his shadows smothering any sound I attempt to get out. “Fucking Sorrengail.” He crouches in the grass, his hand on my throat. “That’s who you are, isn’t it? You’re one of Lilith Sorrengail’s.” I snarl at him, lifting a leg to kick him in the groin, but his shadows catch my shin before I can do any damage.

Gold-flecked onyx eyes stare down at me without an ounce of recognition. “Who’s Lía? Is that your…” Slowly, he stops as if realising for the first time where he’s heard that name before. I stare up at him pleadingly. His hand trails over my arm, tracing the relic at my shoulder. “Lilith Sorrengail’s youngest aren’t old enough to have bonded dragons.” His hand slips down further to the vambrace on my wrist and he picks it up, turning it to face the moonlight. “What the…” He drops it like it burns him.

Hot steam wafts over me and I hold still as a giant blue-scaled snout drops down to sniff at me. “That’s impossible.” Xaden snaps and I almost feel sorry for him as Sgaeyl shoves him backward onto his ass. Almost.

“You…asshole!” I seethe, launching myself forward. I don’t feel even a little bit bad for the crack that sounds through the air as I punch him in the face. Serves him right. I pull my arm back again. “You’re in so much fucking trouble, you hear me! I’m going to—”

A throat clears. “I’m going to have to ask you to stop doing that.” A familiar voice says, tinged with amusement, before adding, “whoever you are.”

I huff. “Shut up Garrick. Buzz off and tell Imogen how you feel.” A choked sound escapes the man beneath me. “I’m not kidding.” I tell him when he doesn’t move. “Take Masen and give us some space. I want you out of hearing distance.”

When I glance up, the older man is gaping. “Who the hell are you? Why would I listen to you?” A warm nudge at my back has me unbalanced for a moment, but I manage to hold my ground, straddling Xaden’s torso.

“Remi Sorrengail.” I tell him, reaching out a hand behind me to press it to Sgaeyl’s maw. “And you’re going to listen to me because it’s in your best interest. Shoo.” He mouths the last word to himself disbelievingly, before his eyes flit over my shoulder at the Blue Daggertail behind me and my hand currently resting above her nose.

“Ok. You’re on your own, brother.” He says succinctly, before turning on his heel and heading for the rocky outcropping they came from. When I look back down, Xaden’s eyes are narrowed and his mouth is downturned and twitching slightly. He’s definitely arguing with Sgaeyl. Impatience not in the least bit tempered by the one hit I’d gotten in, I slip my hand from his shoulder to his jaw and tug, leaning down to claim his lips with mine.

For a moment, he’s still, his body rigid beneath me and I feel something in my chest shrivel and die. Desperately, I pour every ounce of love and fear I have into it, begging, willing his soul to recognise mine. Slowly, tentatively, his lips part. My fingers reach up to tangle in his hair and by the time we part for air, I’m curled over him, my eyes just inches from his own. “Look at me.” I demand, my thumb stroking over his cheekbone before I drop my voice to a low whisper. “Read me.”

He jolts, his eyes widening. It’s…clumsy almost when he reaches out toward me and I realise with an aching heart it’s probably because he hasn’t had much, if any practice at this point. He’s only twenty-two. Holy shit. Patiently, I push a memory to the forefront of my mind—laying in each other’s arms, trading bites of chocolate cake on his favourite hillside in Aretia.

“Holy shit.” He whispers and my lips curve upward.

“Hi.” I murmur quietly, dropping a chaste, gut-wrenching kiss to his lips. “I’m Remi.” My throat tightens as I force back tears. “And one time you told me it was love at first sight. I’m starting to think that you lied.”

He stares.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper, climbing to my feet. “I know this isn’t—that you don’t know me.” I choke out. “But I don’t know what happened and I can’t feel my dragon and I’m scared, Xade.” Slowly, he climbs to his feet and takes a step toward me, closing the gap again.

A hand reaches out to brush my hair behind my ear and a wet chuckle escapes me. I guess some things really don’t change. “Where—when are you from?” He finally asks, his eyes glued to my face.

“Two years from now.” I whisper. “Give or take.” I glance at the two stars on his uniform. “My twin and I—” I pause, my mouth snapping shut.

“Your twin…Violet, right?” I nod, mutely. “Listen, Sorrengail,” he begins and it sounds so strange coming from him that I flinch.

“I don’t know how much I should share.” I blurt. “What if…if this is time travel, then should I be keeping everything to myself? Just in case…” Just in case it changes things. My eyes flit over his shoulder for a second to where Garrick and Masen stand and guilt flares in my chest. I should want to tell him everything, to tell him every detail so he can try and prevent people from getting hurt, but I…I’m selfish. I worry if I do tell him anything further, maybe it will change things and he won’t…love me.

“Are there things you think you should share?” He asks archly and I chuckle, the sound almost hysterical even to my ears.

“You have no idea.” I croak.

His lips tilt up, just slightly. “I think I have some idea.” He says softly. “It must have been a pretty crazy two years for me to end up with a Sorrengail.”

I lift a brow. “Because you could never be cordial with a Sorrengail?” I glare, arching a brow. It takes a moment before it clicks and his mouth forms a small ‘o’. “Yeah, that one was fun to find out after almost dying.”

“You almost died?” He says immediately, his eyes running over me again from head to toe. I shrug, noncommittally. “What can you tell me?” He asks, exasperated and I grin, looking up at him adoringly.

“I love that tick in your jaw, this one right here.” I carefully slide my thumb across it. “I used to be such a common cause of it.”

I’m faced with a deadpan expression. “Somehow, I’m certain you still are.”

I laugh aloud. “Maybe.”

Sgaeyl takes to the sky behind me and I whip around, my eyes following her form as she disappears in the direction of the Vale. “She’s going to get your Lía.” He informs me, his voice low. “To see in person if she knows anything—feels anything from you.”

I shake my head immediately. “I don’t think so. I can’t feel her at all, like she’s not even there. Although…” I trail off contemplatively. “If anyone in the Vale can help, it might be Andarna.”

Xaden’s eyes turn distant for a moment before he focuses back in on me. “Sgaeyl won’t tell me what that means.”

I nod. “She shouldn’t.” I reply simply. She’ll know. I glance over his shoulder once more. “Heading out on a drop?” I ask, noting the bags by Garrick’s feet.

My partner stiffens. “You…”

I smile up at him fondly. “I really wish I could tell you the story of how I found out right now.”

“You could.” He suggests.

“No.” I deny, leaning in to wrap my arms around him. He’s still for a second before slowly, carefully he brushes a hand over my hair, stroking softly. I tuck my face into his neck, breathing him in.

“We’re…serious, then?” He asks and I can feel his free hand tracing over the Riorson family crest on my vambrace.

“Very.” I laugh. “You’re going to marry me one day soon.” When I look up, I’m sure my eyes are bright. “Because I’m the best thing that ever happened to you, not because someone else thought it would be a good idea.”

His lips part slightly. “You know…”

My heart sinks a little. “I know.” I confirm. “Xade?” I lift a hand to his chest, resting it gently over his heart. “Promise me something—don’t go to Cordyn.” I beg. “If they want to renegotiate just tell them no, don’t go there.” I plead.

“Why?” He asks carefully, in that way of his that means he’s hiding something.

“Just…promise me.” I beg. “Or promise me you won’t be alone with her, I just…Xaden.” I hold his gaze, pleading with my eyes.

“Ok.” He relents. “I promise.” I sigh in relief, tension draining out of me as I bury my face in his neck. Maybe it’s selfish, to try and change this and only this, or maybe it won’t make a lick of difference—perhaps whenever this…anomaly is over, I’ll simply go back to my time and he’ll forget ever having met me until that day on the parapet.

But if there’s even a chance I can change it—this one thing that affects no one and nothing but him—I’ll take it. “Thank you.” I murmur, pressing my lips to his throat. When I pull away slightly to meet his gaze again, I let my thumb trail reverently over his lips.

“I love you.” I whisper. “I need you to know that.” I smile sadly at the broken, desperate look in his eyes. “I love you more than anything—anyone—I’ve ever loved or ever will love. There is no me, without you.”

Slowly, he lowers his lips to mine of his own volition and my soul sings.

#basgiath (remi's version)

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linkito · 3 days

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Kiss Prompt Scarian 30 …as comfort? :3 -🎀

ange asked for this as well, so it’s gotta be hhau, right? ft. some unused dialogue from our Big RP™

Scar hates seeing Grian like this— curled up and miserable, wings tucked so tightly against his back that they may as well be invisible. His hands fidget with the ribbon tied around one of his wrists, body mostly hidden under the length of his cloak. He’s pressed up into the wall in a way that can’t be comfortable and Scar just can’t take it anymore.

He needs to do something.

“Grian,” Scar tries, and though his ears droop slightly when Grian barely twitches in response, he still continues. “Did I ever tell you about my idea for a cookie shop?”

Grian does perk up slightly at that, but it’s mostly to cock an eyebrow in confusion, wondering why Scar would possibly think to bring up such a thing now of all times.

They hardly ever talk about Hermitcraft. And for good reason— it usually results in nothing but pain.

But something about Scar making cookies brings warmth to Grian’s frigid, aching heart, and despite his better judgement, he mumbles, “…cookie shop?”

Scar smiles, feeling successful already and deciding to ride that high. “Yeah, and I was going to bake them myself! None of that villager crap.”

Grian doesn’t reply directly, but he nods, eyes now regarding Scar with renewed interest, glad to tether his attention onto something that isn’t his own self-loathing and despair.

Scar is happy to take what he can get. He also scoots in closer to Grian, craving the closeness, just wanting to be within his orbit. It takes a moment, but Grian returns the casual affection by idly running his fingers over Scar’s knee, which is more than enough to keep Scar going on with his daydreamy nonsense.

“I was gonna grow out my hair and have this whole elven theme going— live in a tree, work right out of my house.” Scar runs a hand through his messy hair, noting that it’s already begun to grow out quite a lot, even if it looks nothing like how he would have intended. He probably looks more like some sort of goblin than a lustrous-haired elf.

Grian chuckles softly, pulling Scar out of his thoughts. “What, like a Keebler Elf?”

“What’s a Keebler Elf?” Scar asks, entirely genuine.

That gets Grian to laugh fully, and even if Scar doesn’t understand why, it makes his heart about melt. He loves Grian’s laugh. He doesn’t get to hear it enough these days.

“You know,” Scar adds, feeling cheeky now that he’s already earned this small victory. “I had a particular cookie in mind that I bet you would have loved.”

“Tell me,” Grian says, eager for more of this delightful distraction.

Now that he’s got him, Scar begins a long-winded explanation, theatrical and exuberant: “Well, I make a delicious chocolate chip cookie, of course, but you can’t have those—“

“I’m not allergic to chocolate, Scar.”

“You’re not??” Scar gasps, earning a small eye roll from Grian (he’s still smiling though, so still a win). “Well no matter! Because I had an amayzin’ idea for incorporating chorus fruit into the icing for sugar cookie.”

“Chorus fruit, really?” Grian replies quietly, now weirdly finding himself craving the odd, purple fruit that he likely would have never eaten otherwise. He feels the edge of doomed nostalgia begin to creep in, but only for a moment because Scar keeps talking, snagging his attention back to this fantasy of a quaint little cookie shop.

“Yeah! A treat and a surprise!” Scar exclaims proudly. “One little bite and zzzzzooooop!”

Grian laughs again, weaker, but still amused by Scar’s antics. He wants to let the daydream linger, to picture bright purple frosting and a fantastical treehouse without feeling a sense of great loss of what could have and should have been. He struggles, but Scar’s smile keeps him grounded, leaves him leaning in, gravitated toward that unbridled joy he somehow manages to hold onto.

But maybe his sorrow still shows through, because Scar leans in closer, presenting that smile so it fills all of his vision. “You know what I was going to call them?”

Grian blinks, barely able to process anything other than the closeness of Scar’s smiling face. He manages a small shake of his head, eyes still anchored on Scar’s bright green ones.

Scar’s smile widens, seeming incredibly pleased with himself and whatever this answer may be.

“Elven kisses,” he coos, closing the distance and pressing their lips together, softly, like a feather brushing over skin.

The name hardly makes sense, if Grian is being honest, but he doesn’t care in the slightest. Something about the prospect of a simpler time, where Grian is surrounded by the fresh smell of cookies and a beautifully woven treehouse and the image of Scar presenting him with that name just as proudly, a shy little blush scattered across his cheeks.

He should have kissed Scar a long, long time ago, he thinks, somewhat sadly.

But Scar’s lips are on his now, and it’s possibly one of the only good things left in this wretched nightmare of a server— an uncomplicated affection, something genuine and pure. Something gentle and loving when everything else is coarse and cruel.

Grian moves, grabbing both sides of Scar’s head with desperate, yearning hands, and kisses him fully, hungry for the comfort of Scar’s breath against his own, lips intertwined, passionate and unwavering.

Alive. Alive. Alive.

He feels Scar’s mouth curl upwards into a joyous smile, pressed into his own, private— theirs alone to enjoy— and for a moment, everything feels like it might be alright.

For a moment there’s sweetness dancing across his tongue, and Grian willingly falls into the illusion of its simplicity.

#hhau #scarian #link writes #link answers #ribbon anon

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squidzillaa · 3 days

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Levi DID NOT reject Hange

An explanation and analysis 🦑

First things first, 5 key factors:

1. This scene is from Levi’s pov (another reason why he looks sad and pissed off while saying his goal is to kill Zeke.)

2. This chapter parallels to Eren and Mikasa’s “What am I?” scene in chapter 123.

3. Wanting to live with another, is common trope in AOT. Isayama’s love language. 🏠

4. This is one of the most romantic scenes in AOT, I don’t know how this flew over SO many people’s heads?? 😂😂 It’s right in front of your face!

5. Isayama parallels chapter 126 to chapters 52 and 53. (These chapters contain some of the most important interactions between Levi and Hange):

“Right, Levi.?” (Hange knows what Levi meant. 👍🏻)

“Right… …Levi?” (Does Hange know the answer here? 🤔 Guess… 😏)

Next, in both these chapters, they are being hunted:

Chapter 52: Hange suggests, “Just for now.”

Chapter 126: Hange suggests, “But for now…”

Chapter 52: Levi states, “If we do nothing but run, then all we can do is get caught.” He knows if they stay, they’ll get caught and possibly stabbed.

Chapter 126: Levi questions, “If we keep running and hiding, what will that get us?” He knows the possible consequences of running away, so why does he ask anyway? 🤔😏:

Now, explanation:

Levi was only “pretending” to be asleep, in order to hear Hange’s dream. If Levi Was meaning to reject Hange, he WOULD NOT have brought it back up and then avoid the question she asked (while blushing) which was, “Oh so you heard me?” He’s not going to admit that he heard her because he is a TSUNDERE and, like Isayama said, is awkward and clumsy when it comes to romance. ;)

Hange blushes, because she confessed her love to him thinking he was asleep. In the Japanese culture, asking someone to live with you is a way of proposing. IFKK. (If you have common sense 😉, you can recognize that her blush alone shows that she meant it romantically.)

The other main ships also include a similar situation of wanting to “live” with their love interest:

(Obvious one) Eren to Mikasa

Falco to Gabi

Annie to Armin

Hitch to Marlow

Ymir to Historia

Jean to Mikasa

Eren even brings this up in an interview ⬇️, straight up telling viewers that Hange’s line was a proposal and confession! (Another big factor: Eren and Hange parallel each other, just like how Mikasa and Levi do. That’s a BIG character plot point that a lot of fans don’t recognize or realize. Which in itself already tells you who the 2 main lovers of the story are. Cue “Call Your Name.” 👥)

Levi could have interrupted her if he wanted to reject her proposal or could have straight up said “No we can’t”, “I can’t do that.”, “I don’t want that.” But he didn’t because he Wanted to live with her as well, and was probably imagining a life of just the two of them living in the forest. 💭🌲

He knows that Hange is already preparing to pull him around, so after Eren’s Rumbling announcement, that’s when he decides to get up and ask where Zeke is. He sits up because he wants her to come over to him so he can pop the question of “running and hiding.” Especially because he knows that Eren’s announcement will make Hange want to stop Eren asap. Levi needs to hurry and reask her question before they’re out of that forest and have to focus on their plans, rather than their feelings.

He asks where Zeke is to make her think he was asleep the whole time. (Buttt he blows his cover right away when he asks her what running away will achieve for the 2 of them. 😂)

Levi asking where Zeke is was NOT his first thought, because he was awake the WHOLE time. (Stop trying to make everything about Levi in connection to Erwin and his promise, this scene has nothing to do with him. 👾)

In this chapter, they both have a moment of doubt and confusion:

Hange wasn’t sure if she should continue her duties as Commander, because she’s unsure if they can stop Zeke and they’d be on the run for the rest of their lives.

Levi wasn’t sure if killing Zeke was worth it, because Zeke was willing to die.

Levi restates what Hange said, as a question, because he wanted to know if she Had a good enough reason to leave it all behind.

Levi doesn’t go against Hange’s ideas and encourage them often. Levi loves and trusts Hange SO MUCH, that he was willing to give up on his promise to Erwin and his comrade’s, if Hange had given him a good enough reason to stay. But of course he knows Hange can’t stay out of the action and that they have their promises and duties to achieve first. 😢🤝🏻🌲 (Along with the guilt that would come with it.) To what ifs.. 🥂

In conclusion, Levi and Hange’s “freedom”, are each other. KAWWW 🦅

(Looking at Their Freedom)

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civilight-eterna · 1 day

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OOOOOH.. any of the hunters + irene breeding kink for request

(because you're a goated polyshipper like me...you get laurentina/irene/skadi sandwich. love and kisses)

...

Perhaps Irene's time with the Abyssal Hunters had neutered her fears in a way that others had not experienced. She has always been one to speak her mind in the first place, and when she observes-on multiple occasions!-Skadi dismissing herself from a talk with Laurentina the moment Irene arrives, she begins to wonder at it. Laurentina's musical giggles and the barely-masked scowl it incurs from Skadi sit Irene with the all-too-familiar sense of having things unsaid about oneself in thinly-veiled secret.

She's been singled out before, during her studies. She should be used to it.

But perhaps, she expected a little better of her newer peers.

So she steels her resolve and confronts her directly, on a whim, in the corridor.

"Skadi. You have been avoiding me, and I would very much like to know why."

"I've been avoiding you because I want to get you pregnant."

A beat.

"E-Excuse me!?"

This time, Laurentina is the one to excuse herself. She grins and hoists the hem of her skirt with a sweeping curtsy and a mirthful smile, dipping around from Skadi as she exits the conversation-

Or at least, she tries.

"Y-You! You stay put-you're, you owe me some explanations too-" Irene fumes, her face burning hot, still reeling from Skadi's blunt remark.

"Oh my, such an aggressive little birdie today. But I don't think staying would be very wise of me-"

Irene did not think it possible for Skadi's face to ever entertain an expression that could plead for mercy. And yet, that is exactly how she looked as she turned her gaze to Laurentina with haste.

"Please."

It takes Irene aback to see her ask so plainly, even though saying things plainly is what she knows her for.

Laurentina smiles and acquiesces, much to Skadi's visible relief.

"Then let's take this conversation somewhere more private, shall we?"

...

"-It's something of a leftover gene with our less-Aegir side. It's quite troublesome, especially for a certain Orca that says things as she thinks of them." Laurentina finishes the explanation, mercifully succinct, and without too much teasing.

"It's frustrating," Skadi's voice is tense, cutting in sharply, "I don't even have the anatomy to make it happen. But it aches all the same."

"...I see." Irene wonders whether it was the best idea to have this conversation in Skadi's room, in full view of the bed.

Not out of any concern that something would-happen. She just thinks-

How awful it is, to be without control over one's body. How painful, to have to resist those urges, to constantly expend energy in such a way.

And...

How flattering, that all this time, what she'd mistaken for being made fun of in secret had turned out to be admiration, even if it were only because of some physiological response.

What should she even suggest?

"Is there nothing I can do to help?..."

Irene doesn't realize she's wondered it out loud until she glances up and sees Laurentina hide a smile behind her hand.

"Or-I mean!" Irene's face warms instantly as Skadi regards her, "It-doesn't need to be me, if you don't want-"

"I do."

"Excuse me?"

"I am attracted to you. You bled two weeks ago. You're fertile-"

"H-H-How do you-?!"

"Sharks can tell." Skadi answers her outburst calmly. Laurentina's smile is wider, if a little guiltier for it. "And-"

"I-I'm-" Irene's mind reels, feeling like she's reacting to each point in halved time. She doesn't even have the chance to be outraged or indignant-it's all just shock.

Skadi closes in, her presence slow and calm, like she's come to some determinations about her in the last few minutes on her own.

"-Willing. Aren't you?"

Skadi's hand closes around one of Irene's, and she brings the back of it against her mouth.

Irene has been aware of her shorter stature for some time. In general, but especially compared to her new colleagues. She beholds Skadi with quietened awe, the sleek angles of her cheekbones, the texture of her lips against her fingers, the velvet-steel look in her eyes.

"Y...Ye...s."

"But I would break you apart." Skadi says seriously, "Even without something to put inside of your-"

"Aa-ah-! I get-I get the jist!"

I'll die if I hear another word of this!

Laurentina, her fingers curled beneath her chin, tilts her head and shares her musings.

"Suppose you just...went through the motions until you were satisfied? I could help."

"Help how?" Skadi's brow furrows.

"Relax, no need to be so territorial! You said as much yourself-you'd break her apart. If I were beneath her, to counterbalance you, you should be able to really cut loose."

"I wasn't being-"

"I know. But it's cute when you get flustered. Right, little birdie?"

"I-It's no laughing matter. Skadi is in considerable pain, no? And this is-"

-Sacrilege, if the church ever caught wind of this arrangement-

"-fine with me. I just want you..."

Irene trails off, glances up into Skadi's eyes. Back down again.

"...to feel better."

...

It's not wrong to help someone who is hurting. Surely, there were-contingencies, for this sort of thing.

Irene knows very well there are not.

But there should be. It's not the church's fault they had no way to conceive of all of the ways in which her people might suffer, when the scriptures were written.

She rapidly realizes that there is absolutely no justification she could offer, to herself or any higher power, for as to why she agreed to be held down against Laurentina's supine form as Skadi doubles over her and grinds, hard, between her legs.

But she soon becomes more concerned with more mortal matters.

All of Skadi's weight is anchored into her hips, and she ruts into Irene through their clothes like she's chasing her very bones. Laurentina writhes beneath her, rolling her between them, easing the worst of the pressure, but the sensation is suffocating.

Her hands scramble for Skadi's shoulders, and she can feel Laurentina's thighs pressing into her backside as she cocoons her with her body.

"Hhhah, you're close?" Laurentina coos, and Skadi groans into Irene's neck, closing her between them like a vise-

My...ribs are going to crack, Irene thinks numbly, and her head dips back over Laurentina's shoulder as a strangled cry rumbles out of her chest, She's going to break every bone in my body, if this keeps up-

Skadi's hand clutches her suddenly beneath the knee, hiking it up as she grinds closer, harder than before.

"S-Skadi, you're, g-going to kill me-!"

Those must have been the magic words, because Skadi's voice pitches and her entire body shudders, rolling with the aftershocks as she slumps over Irene, breathing hard. Something in her was sated, Irene can tell that much.

She's breathing hard too. There's a little too much humidity between her legs to all be sweat, and she pants, desperately-

"-It's, it's hot-"

"Take these off next time then." Skadi's voice is slightly muffled over her shoulder. She doesn't move a muscle.

"N-Next time?!"

"Mmhm."

Laurentina's hands are drifting, silky-soft, beneath her skirt, pressing and poking at her thighs.

"Oh, see." She hums as Irene winces, "I don't even have to see here to know that she's all bruised up."

Irene whimpers, and Skadi nuzzles her, just below her ear.

"...Sorry. Really."

"D-Don't worry. Just save your strength."

"Mmhm."

It's funny. Irene thinks. Anyone else, I would expect to say something about the obvious divide in our abilities, would point out how strange it is for someone like me to tell her what to do. But she doesn't sound disingenuous at all.

"You too, brave little birdie." Laurentina's legs tremble beneath hers, and she takes a shivering breath that makes Irene wonder how she managed to take on everything at once. "Not even my finest clay can withstand such pressure-you're truly a resilient medium of your own right." Laurentina's dexterous fingers slide up around Irene's shoulders, gently kneading them, releasing tension, "That being said, you'd probably appreciate a slightly...softer touch? I promise I'll be careful with you while Skadi sleeps it off."

Irene sighs, tilting her neck into the touch.

She has nothing to say for Skadi having fallen asleep already-she'll be joining her soon.

#arknights #skadi (arknights)#laurentina (arknights)#irene (arknights)#otp: she's actually very sentimental #otp: you are a fruit #my writing #requests #nsft #also i'm taking recommendations for a skadi/laurentina tag because i don't have one yet and that's a crime so hmu #otp: she mustn't forget her true nature #(ty abyssalcunters for coming through)

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rosstrytobe · 3 days

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HOW I THINK THIS IS JUST THE FIRST STEP TO EDDIE DIAZ GAY ARC PT. 2

As I said in the previous post, Eddie is scared of his feelings towards Buck and Tommy and he doesn’t know what to do with that information and that's why he's trying to pretend with Marisol and he's living in his own telenovela with Kim but again we know who Eddie trust his son more than anyone else and the proof is just the scene before Eddie goes to the date with Kim:

Very husbandisms of them. Also, the fact that Eddie lied to Buck about which girl was going out with. It's very telling. Because why don't say to your best friend that you find the copy of your ex dead wife and you wants to go out with her and cheat on your current girlfriend? Because he doesn’t want to get why this is crazy and delusional and doesn’t make any sense. And it's wrong for Marisol. Because again he's living in his own bubble and he doesn’t want someone to make some sense into him. And Buck as Bobby is one of the person he trust most and they can make him understand the truth of why he's acting the way he is. But Eddie doesn’t want the truth. He's not ready for the truth. But he can't escape from the truth because:

Like...this is the first time that Eddie and Buck are alone sober with Christopher and Eddie knows Buck is bi and it just took a compliment from him to make Eddie blush (🤡🤡) as then he do with Kim at their date:

And then what Eddie do from Buck compliment? He just goes to kiss his son and goes straight to the date. As he was trying to escape from Buck loft (and we know that Eddie was supposed to be at his date in 30 minutes as he said to Buck. So he could stayed for a bit but then i don't know if it's because of traffic or other stuff. He just go away)

Like again he's trying to escape from the reality and goes to his telenovela bubble to pretend nothing is wrong with him. While when he was drunk with Buck he just stayed all night with him like this:

And we know that when people are drunk their true self comes out as:

Did you see the raimbow light and Eddie checking Buck ass? Because that's what i see (🤡🏳️‍🌈). A rainbow light that comes out even from Buck after he kissed Tommy and Buck understand he's more than an Ally:

Because really the lights were strange in this scene with Buck but they want to tell something as they want to tell something for Eddie too. The lights on Buck are first blue and green as in the mlm flag:

Then the second light are red and yellow as the other colors of the rainbow (because he doesn’t just like men):

While Eddie he has just all the colors of the raimbow because as we saw he rejects all the women who were around him and goes straight (gay) to Buck (👀🏳️‍🌈)

Also, Buck line when he said he does check hot guys ass and in this scene Eddie is checking Buck ass because there's not straight explanation of why his eyes are looking down to something (👀👀). And we know now Buck is bi but Eddie?

Eddie is just gay

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misc-obeyme · 8 hours

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something i haven't understood in obey me so far playing is what year it's set in? did I miss the amount of years stated somewhere?

like we have the D.D.D. which is like a cell phone. But then we get sent back in Nightbringer and we still have D.D.D. And anime. And heavy metal, probably. What year is it again?

No way it's been like centuries, which is how they make it sound. I'm not even sure it's been a whole decade into the past. How long does it take to get a school up and running, Diavolo?

-a confused player

Dear A Confused Player,

Don't worry. You are all of us.

You didn't miss anything about what the years are because they've never stated anything about that.

They kinda explain everything away with the "time soup" but even that isn't really an explanation at all. They mostly just don't talk about it.

It's generally accepted that the Devildom is behind the human world technology-wise. There's proof of this in season three of the OG where the brothers don't know how to use some pretty basic kitchen appliances. The idea is that in the Devildom, they have magic to supplement their tech needs, so they don't need as much tech. This is pretty standard for fantasy worldbuilding. It's the idea that magic essentially does a lot of the stuff we use technology for.

But then yeah, Nightbringer happened. And that's supposedly thousands (millions? they don't state specifics) of years in the past. So presumably, the technology wouldn't be as advanced as it is in OG. Which would mean we wouldn't have things like D.D.D.s and there was also the wasted potential of old school outfits.

Since things seem to be about the same in Nightbringer tech-wise, the question becomes why?

Either Nightbringer is set in a timeline that's so drastically different that this tech was developed a lot earlier than in the OG timeline OR it's always been that way and the OG timeline was actually taking place far into the future for us. Another possibility is that the Devildom actually developed all their tech before the human world developed theirs, but at some point their development just stagnated. Meaning it stayed at about the same level from Nightbringer to OG.

And then there's the RAD founding discrepancy. In OG, they make it sound like RAD has been around since way before Lucifer & co fell, but this was mostly portrayed through old Devilgrams. So they just straight up retconned that. I think RAD's development has only been happening for a few years in Nightbringer and then it's established before MC leaves.

All of this is to say, the time is wonky and makes no sense. You can speculate about it for hours and still come up with ??? because any of these options could work. Due to them fucking around with time travel, timelines, and "time soup," anything goes at this point.

Time travel is a risky thing to include in a story for many reasons. And this right here is one of them.

We might've been able to suspend our disbelief on the time frame of the OG, but now that they've tossed in this time travel to the supposedly distant past, it's a lot harder to just go well, it's a fantasy story so I'm not gonna worry about it!

Just one of my many complaints about the writing of this game lol.

Anyway, that's the best I can do, I'm afraid. I might have gotten some details wrong because I forget things sometimes, but this is how I've always interpreted things. I hope that helps a little, but in the end it's kinda up to you to headcanon whatever you like!

#it's certainly interesting to fill in these details #but it's also annoying that they don't give us more solid info #pros and cons I guess #obey me #obey me nightbringer #anon asks #misc answers

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praisethelorde · 2 months

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Has anyone else noticed this about Locke?

In The Stolen Heir, it's revealed that Oak is a Love Talker aka Gancanagh (a faerie who is able to quicken desire in both faeries and mortals and also seduce them just by word of mouth) because his mother, Liriope, was also one. This means that--because Oak and Locke share the same mother--Locke was most definitely also a Love Talker. This could explain why Taryn so easily betrayed Jude, her own twin sister, for Locke. It could also be the reason Nicasia suddenly cheated on Cardan with him. It was so easy for Locke to manipulate and seduce almost everyone around him because of this power of his. It could also explain why Cardan remained friends with him even after what he did.

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dutybcrne · 25 days

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Me BSing hcs like: The fact that Kae is not only able to create a shield when he is dangerously low HP but also the fact that he is able to regenerate HP when he hits opponents with Frostgnaw is definitely due to him receiving his Vision when Diluc had tried to kill him in their Confrontation...but could it be possible that his familial ties to the Abyss Order could have influenced that HP drain of his-

#//And that's without mentioning the fact that Glacial Waltz's duration increases FOR EVERY OPPONENT DEFEATED #//Between that and his lil teleporting trick like an Abyss mage's (minus the flurries of ice); I have SO many thinkings #//Deffo love the abilities of his being an amalgam of Vision based and Abyssal energy imbued #//Deffo love that fact meaning it hurts a bit to use his Vision at all; esp with the teleporting being such a Staple to his combat style #☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Sidetracking a bit; but I also like to think that even after the Abyss is defeated/beaten back enough to not be such a threat; he'd still #keep his abilities from it/some connection to it. Bc he's so used to it being such a big PART of his fighting style/assets to use in a pinc #//But also bc keeping that connection means it'd help him keep track of any remnants of the Order far easier #//He could track them down with far more ease; sense if they are growing stronger; get intel from Domains/abyssal traces #//Of course being very mindful to keep it a secret & trying to not involve his loved ones/fellow knights of it all #//But he very much is careful esp bc of risks of him being corrupted by it; keeping a keen eye on his mental/physical/emotional states #//Deffo has plans to leave Mond and/or end his own life if he starts seeing the Abyssal corruption affecting him irreversibly #suicide mention tw #//Kind of but also kind of not; considering some of the ways how he'd go abt it #//Knows it'd be harder to the further it goes; so he has particular criteria he keeps tracks of to ensure if they come to pass #//he; in a clearer state of mind; would either 1) use his Vision to try & purge the energy out of himself (extremely painful; COULD kill #if the corruption runs deep enough & save him the trouble) or 2) use the aggressiveness of the corruption to provoke someone (esp Luc)#into taking care of him &thus ending the problem all together. Bc he KNOWS he's strong; only a handful of beings could actually kill him #//& actually be WILLING to; without hesitation. Luc comes to mind first bc of their Confrontation. But also bc Kae'd be happy w him being #the last person he ever sees. Thinks it'd be comforting more than anyone else. Esp since a lover would just break his heart to see them #//Worst case scenario is him falling to the corruption & sb breaking it out of him in the moment #//Bc the Instant he realizes what's happening; esp if they are crying and/or angered at him; he WILL fatally wound himself #//And make SURE it's not something he can come back from; save by a miracle (or 'curse' as he'd see it)#//Probably making an icicle and slitting his own throat; if not jamming the thing into his heart #//he won't hesitate; wont offer explanations; final words or apologies; he cant risk that moment of clarity being too short for it #//he HAS to make sure he can't hurt anyone any further; no matter what it means for him #//Which is partly why he'd be so keen to make sure it's not found out; bc he KNOWS he can be talked out of keeping those abilities #//Or worse; he'd fight them on it; and thus make for a fucken MESS in the aftermath if he's been too far along in the corruption #//But he KNOWS that even with the risks; the powers are a VALUABLE asset to him; &thus desperately wants to keep them #//'sidetracking a bit'; I said. Proceed to write a wHOLE FUCKEN NEW HC IN TAGS; I did; kjfbgkftg. Whoops lmao

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iridescentoracle · 8 months

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@eglerieth replied to your post: Hello! I am here to ask about your Dior headcanons…

What’s your Galadriel headcanon?

Oh man, I didn’t see this!! Thank you for asking, i fully did not expect anyone to actually get far enough into the Dior post to see that let alone actually want to know. Sorry I’m two days late!

So! What we know about Galadriel in the Silmarillion:

She hated Fëanor but thought being a queen sounded pretty sweet/desired power

She’s named as one of the leaders of the Noldor across the Helcaraxë

Instead of founding her own kingdom (like she’d explicitly originally wanted) or moving in with her brother she got married and stayed in Doriath and learned a lot from Melian

Eventually Melian was like “hey so you should explain the weird ominous evil metaphysical cloud i can see hanging over the Noldor so i can explain about it to my husband bc he should really learn about whatever happened before it blows up in everybody’s faces” and Galadriel was like “yeah he probably should but i’m not telling”

At some point Galadriel asked Finrod why he wasn’t married yet

One time Melian casually foreshadowed Beren’s existence to Galadriel, who has no recorded response

That’s it. That’s literally all we know about what she was up to. She was super jazzed about the prospect of Ruling A Kingdom and then made friends with a queen and learned a bunch from her and… was still alive after the War of Wrath, and in between we have nothing.

We don’t know how she survived the Second Kinslaying, we can assume she made it to the Havens of Sirion but don’t know how she survived the Third Kinslaying let alone what she did/where she went after that… we don’t know what her reaction was to the death of her only remaining family member in Middle-earth, for which her cousins and the great-uncle in whose kingdom she lived were both partially responsible…

Like, that's weird, right? Galadriel is firmly established as someone bold and interested in being a ruler and stubborn as all get out, and then she… does nothing and everybody seems to forget she exists for several hundred years and some major political upheavals that should have personally affected her? It's not just me? That's really weird?

So, my Galadriel headcanon is that she’s inexplicably absent for most of the Quenta Silmarillion because she was deliberately erased/left out by the scribes writing things down because there was no way to acknowledge her presence in Doriath during and after Beren & Lúthien’s whole everything without getting into the messiest bit of Sindar-Noldor political tension that didn’t involve the Fëanorioni, because (again, headcanon) Galadriel Did Not Respond Well to her uncle getting her brother killed as a side effect of trying to get her cousin’s boyfriend killed and there was A Lot Of Tension for a while there (when you’ve got that kind of interpersonal tension between people who are both essentially Political Figures, i figure it’s probably going to turn into political tension unless they’re both trying very very hard to avoid that and potentially even then)

…and then after Thingol’s death a few years later, I think one of the primary contenders for Next Ruler of Doriath was Galadriel “Well I Came Here For A Kingdom In The First Place” Granddaughter-of-Olwë and also her husband is related to Thingol* and Lúthien’s clearly removed herself from contention so if the Sindar want a monarch who’s actually related to the last one they both qualify, it’s perfect and obviously Galadriel should be the next queen of Doriath (it is not obvious to everyone)

* on a side note, Celeborn is mentioned twice in the Quenta Silm: #1, Galadriel stays in Doriath because she’s marrying a “kinsman of Thingol,” while #2, shortly after Thingol’s death, Celeborn is referred to as a “prince of Doriath.” Not actual evidence, but it sure fits in nicely!

Like I said in the Dior post, I don’t think anything ever came to outright surface-level conflict; a civil war in Doriath is not getting left out of the Silmarillion. Tension between Galadriel and Thingol, though? and then between Galadriel and [various other contenders for the throne after Thingol, potentially including Dior himself when he arrived] that had everyone a little nervous? when she didn’t become queen and did (however begrudgingly) accept that Dior was the closest thing to a consensus pick and did survive the next several thousand years only to finally wind up as functional queen of most of the remaining Sindar despite eschewing the actual title? That I can see getting diplomatically left out of the histories, and explaining why she’s completely during the parts of the story where you’d think she’d be most involved.

#eglerieth #replies #lotr #character: galadriel #the silmarillion #listen i love galadriel more than words can express but so much of what's interesting about her is her character development #we know her best from LOTR as one of the oldest wisest most powerful most respected people in all of middle-earth #and she started as this stubborn willful power-hungry kid?#it's been a long time since i first read the silmarillion but i still remember discovering that and how it blew my mind #so while i do think all of this makes sense as An explanation for her disappearance from the text #part of why it's *my* explanation of choice is that i love that that's where she started and i think it's a shame we don't get to see more #of first age galadriel being this complicated messy figure who makes her third age self look all the more amazing #bc how the hell did she get there from here #so it works out so nicely if part of the reason we don't know more about early galadriel being Complicated™...#is just how Complicated™ early galadriel was #anyway the main thing i have realized in writing this & the dior post is holy shit i think about the silmarillion too much #i have. so many thoughts and opinions that i have never discussed with anyone and i don't even know what i actually need to explain #/what facts & opinions i need to establish as context for the stuff i'm actually trying to talk about #guessing the answer is "a whole bunch that i didn't‚ but not like half the things i *do*'' but i genuinely do not know!

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yusuke-of-valla · 4 months

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Idk how to explain my thoughts about Hop vs Keiran's arcs coherently but it boils down to I feel worse about beating Hop, therefore Keiran's better written

#like I still feel bad about Keiran's don't get me wrong #but there's like a plausible explanation in the text why letting him get what he wants is good for him #with hop it's like 'why do I care about becoming champion'#yeah he decides he wants to be a professor but like did he really decide that or is he coping #like I just want to give him the win he's TOO pathetic #Keiran's frankly a little shit sometimes #aside from the mask which we apologize for #I uhhh don't actually think letting him have Ogrepon when she doesn't want to go with him is good for anybody #see idk if this is making sense #I also have vague feelings about trace in let's go #idk sometimes I think Pokémon games would be better if the player characters had more built in motivation

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slumbergoblin · 2 years

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The Main Trio is complete! (sorta I kinda want to redo Pac but I can do that later-)

#pmatga #my art #cylindria #spiral #pac-man #I'm also just going to say that pac's actual name is Packy. which would make one go wait but isnt that his nickname #and you're right! it probably is!#however. and i've talked about this with my bf for like 2 hours. I believe that the current Pac is related to the original Pac man #for right now i'll say he's related to the Hanna Barbera Pac-Man. because he might be but don't quote me on that-#I also think it'd be neat if yellow pac worlders who were related to the original pac-man by BLOOD #were the only pac worlders able to actually consume ghosts you know?#that also gives an explanation as to why there are just other random yellow pac worlders through out the show #other than the explanation of 'animators just copy and pasted models' which is probably more true ;;#but I like to have fun >:)c #but this also means that I have to change the narrative of pac being the only 'yellow one' left to just #'he's the only yellow pac worlders who is still connected to the power berries left' if that makes sense???#why did I ramble on? OH RIGHT PACKY- uhhhuhuhhu yeah I'm just going to say his full first name is Packy #it doesn't mean anything and I just think it'd be funny to have him one day go 'my name isn't even Pac' or something #and also my version of Stratos gets chewed out for calling him 'Pac-Man' because Pac is like. 14 #and so stratos is just like w- what else was I supposed to call him! I just came up with it on the fly #thats it for my rambling! even if it might not make sense!

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dyketubbo · 2 years

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opened up family echo for fun so i could put in my hcs for dsmp families then realized. i already have one?? oh my god this is from september of last year. captain puffy is still listed as dreams parent. connor is dreams kid. techno is also phils kid here but i know i was just putting that so he was on there

#i dont really think ctechno counts as cphils kid i think phil did know techno when the latter was a kid but i think they were more #mentor and apprentice that were sort of like father and son but wouldnt really say that if asked #bc i cant really see ctechno as being a seasoned immortal i think it fits more that hes still just in his 20s #but mentor and apprentice makes more sense for phil not considering him his kid but rather an old friend #and then with c!clingyduo im keeping the found in a box backstory with ctommy being a village kid #though i think ctommy did get taken under cwilburs wing as a teenager and was allowed to stay over so he had somewhere to be-#-while going through servers since i think something could have happened to his village unless the set on fire thing was exclusive to eryn #and then around smpearth time wilbur moved out and let clingyduo follow out and do what they wanted #does this timeline perfectly line up? probably not. but dont worry about it #anyways thats a lot of explanation #basically. i completely wiped this existing family tree from my memory #and i dont remember why i made it #but whatever lol i can make a new one #mask mews #dsmp

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myname-isnia · 2 months

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Sometimes I wish I wasn’t 12 when I came up with Suiren and Midori cause why the fuck do both of them have Japanese names

#no but seriously. neither of their parents have japanese names. none of their relatives have japanese names #they aren’t from the fire nation which would make a bit more sense #12 yo Nia why were you so dumb. why was there 0 thought put into their names #okay tbf I did take my time picking suiren’s. I googled flower names in different asian languages until I found one I liked #I knew I wanted her name to be water related so I mostly looked at lilies and lotuses #and suiren is a gorgeous name. don’t get me wrong #I don’t really have any qualms about it. I like it well enough and I think it suits her #my in-universe explanation is that her parents were 20 and 21 when they had her and handy grown out of teen rebellion just yet #so picked a name removed from their respective cultures #though if I had to pick a different name I’d choose Niloufer. it also means water lily but matches ghazan haya and afarin a bit better #I have no excuses for midori #every 2000s baby had an indie video game they were obsessed with in 2015-2019. mine was yandere simulator #so I named her after midori gurin #particularly because of that one fan song that I had playing on repeat that summer #the vibes of it matched my original midori concept so… here we are.#I regret it now bc 1) it’s incredibly lazy. holds no deep meaning nor is connected to her parents’ cultures #2) yanderedev is… yanderedev. would rather not have anything associated with him tbh #but I can’t really change it now because it’s been 5 years. I can’t imagine midori with any other name anymore #I don’t even know what I’d change it to. probably something chinese to match ming-hua #and even if I were to change it it would involve editing so much #posts. tags. fics. everything. it’s way too late now even if I had a good replacement name lined up #oh well. Midori it is I suppose. brb gonna go build a time machine to yell at my 12yo self to use her brain #sotrl suiren #sotrl midori #seeds of the red lotus

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kalims · 4 months

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he's a ten but he...

premise. sometimes certain bad habits of theirs make their overall rating just a tad bit lower—besides the fact that they keep doing it.

characters. dorm leaders

content. gender neutral reader

malleus (doesn't have a sense of space)

"look beastie, that flower is a native of ours,"

"I agree mal, but I didn't think you taking up the entirety of my seat will make me see it better,"

he blinks, then shrugs.

like i said, has NO sense of space.

if an average person would make an excuse to constantly be in physical contact with who they admire, then malleus is the complete opposite. well, not entirely but he doesn't even bother to construct an explanation as to why he's literally sat over your seat when you coincidentally get put in a table together.

if you start questioning him about it the most you'll get in a very outright 'because he wanted to.' it's not even one of those sarcastic replies he's 100% serious!

cause he believes there's no use in lying about things to be honest.. to further emphasize that, if he ever acts like he does hold fondness for you that surpasses the platonic meter but doesn't mention it he probably hasn't realized yet.

if he did he'd already walk over and bluntly tell you about it.

(I wish I could be that unbothered.)

lilia thinks it's the cutest thing though. you swear you see flashes of light for a split second from the ceiling but when you look up there's only a suspicious swinging chandelier.

^ totally has his own album full of pictures.

if malleus ever discovers it he won't even be disturbed, probably would ask for a copy 💯

since human lives, and their bodies are so fragile he'd taken it upon himself to protect you from harm. even if it means trailing behind you everywhere way too close for comfort, or standing a bees wing away.

while he is respectful most of the time, he's encouraged if you don't comment. if anything, he seems pleased you dont seem to be bothered! (and it'll get harder to tell him to stop when he's so happy the more you let it happen..)

"child of man, have you slept?"

*starts leaning his body forward, to squint at your eyes.* practically right in front of your face.

"WTF."

not even a warning or anything! but atleast he's concerned?

idia (won't even show up for anything and insists a 'virtual' date is better.')

user: where tf r u??

ghoul666: WDYM? at the dorm?

user: IVE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR 20 MINUTES

unintentionally stood you up 💀

you literally have to tell him that you're waiting for him to arrive at the specified area you discussed where your date would take place but would end up vastly irritated when he questions if you guys even did.

ghoul666: we do??

user: I'm taking my minecraft bed away from urs.

ghoul666: NO PLS

ghoul666: HELLO????

next time you log in minecraft it's probably because he begged you to play, you WILL end up seeing some kind of structure that probably took days to make. that's not even the entire thing cause the inside is entirely decorated to your taste.

in short: he constructed some kind of venue for a wedding.. even changed his skin to wear a tuxedo 😭

though he has sparked your pettiness, hence the ignoring him period. even you have got to admit that it's freaking adorable...

big sign, emphasis on please: Im sorry pls put ur minecraft bed back I can't sleep w/o u and I have to wait entire days for it to turn into morning :(

with what he's built you're sure it's 65% true.

if you do end up forgiving him, few weeks later attempting to schedule another date will only end up in naught.

ghoul666: can we not go there

user: 😐

user: you are testing my patience love

ghoul666: 😓 (he is screeching about the term of endearment part btw KABSJAJSAJA ortho would enter his room very concerned.)

ghoul666: how abt

ghoul666: mimic together? call

user: sighs

user: I'm only agreeing cause I want to spend time with you

queue more screeching from his end that you're completely oblivious to.

the only screeching you're gonna hear though is when you guys do get into call as you play, and it's mainly out of terror when his soul gets sent to the void ascending when the entity pops out of a corner and starts chasing him.

"I GOT THIS. ILL CARRY U THIS IS FINE" *screams again* but really wants to impress you so he pushes through.

unsurprisingly does carry you.

asks to match avatars right after (idia love languange)

vil (frets over you way too much.)

"vil, did you see the chocolate in the freezer?"

"oh, that? I noticed that you've already gone through the ideal number of bars this week so I took it upon myself to make sure you don't go sick on me,"

"I love you but please give it back—"

"I love you too, and no."

disclaimer: he does this for your own good 😜 (average mom excuse.)

looks out for you more than he does for his own dorm residents. everyone is wondering where he ran off to after class, especially since he's the one that scheduled the pomefiore meeting every fridays!

and to think he was the one getting irritated over the more newer first years for being late..

*shows up literally half an hour in*

why you ask? you simply shouldn't have texted him about abandoning your daily walk together through the gardens in favor of catching sleep since you called in sick (you're suspicious if crewel really did go in to check for proof, and not concern.)

vil's really feeling the absolute regret of not checking his phone during classes.. well, he only saw the message which was coincidentally sent like somehow ONE minute after the lecture started and he's only seeing it 59 minutes later.

oh you poor thing!! though the lunch break is short, he has about 5 minutes for a trip to the mirror chamber..

you'd think the 'seen' icon below your message was a weird omen for something you're not sure but it must be doom cause vil is right at the front porch of your crappy dorm. at his own expense?! looking more disheveled than you've seen him before.

if a few stray hairs was disheveled at all. more importantly, he still looked drop dead gorgeous!

you probably looked quite terrible with the blanket draped around your shoulders looking like you just crawled out of your grave, because he looked absolutely mortified at your state.

"oh great sevens.." he looked like he was faint, huffing and fanning himself with his hand. "look at you, why didn't you tell me sooner, darling?"

you blink, swallowing to make your throat less dry but your voice still comes out raspy. "I did, like an hour ago—" without your invitation whatsoever, he steps in. promptly shutting the door behind him (which surprisingly still stands sturdy.)

vil takes a hold of your shoulders before reaching his hands upwards to tilt your face around. "you should have sent earlier," he says. you keep in the comment that you were sleeping during it, and you told him about it during second period so.. "your face is so pale."

you sigh.

"yeah, I just saw. I know, I look hideous right now."

vil frowns at you, stopping to angle your face at him. "don't ever say that. I always find you beautiful even if you are.." he glances at you from face to toe, then back up. "sickly."

"... I feel offended."

"hmph, shush now. let me draw you a bath then I know something that will boost your system."

after much coaxing in his end, you reluctantly take a warm bath in the hopefully hygienic bathroom. true to his word, vil did... concoct something. though it looked pretty the random steam that flew from it was really suspicious.

the residents don't dare to question, except rook of course. who already knew what transpired! :)

epel: 😃 (atleast vil wasn't around.)

"roi du poison~ tell me, tell me! is the trickster well? have you cured them with your love?"

"rook, you have 5 seconds to get out of my face."

rook giggles away.

kalim (thinks money will buy anything, including your forgiveness.)

"here!" there's a suspiciously bright smile on his face as he hands you.. some keys?

you deadpan, jingling it in your hands. it weighs heavy than the average, probably because of the fact that it's literally made of gold. "... kalim what is this?" you emit a sigh, from suspicion and concern.

"a gift!"

"wait why does it say lot 111--"

as you can already, that was an actual, literal house. which you imagine would probably be a lots more grand, and new compared to your old baby ramshackle.

but you do love it despite it's love for falling apart at the most inconvenient of times..

fighting with kalim was rare but it was hard to even argue with him because the notion of disagreements are so bizarre to him that he unintentionally doesn't treat you seriously with your concerns, accidentally downplaying them aaaand now you're upset.

after the ranting to jamil about how you must be busy with a lot, since you haven't even talked to him in the past 2 days. all it took was a side glance to his friend in denial and jamil immediately knew.

"what do you mean they're mad!? D:"

"just.. go apologize, I don't want to get caught up in this."

if his definition of an apology is buying you an entire house...

( ^ it is btw.)

kalim really doesn't mean any harm. he just really wants to sate whatever anger you held for him <- maybe he's overthinking it but it's kalim so he's 99% sure it's his fault! even though it hasn't even been confirmed from your end he'd probably accept it whole heartedly.

he wanted you to talk to him again so badly that he wouldn’t mind showering you with houses... since your living situation doesn't live up to your kindness (sorry ramshackle love u xx)

you know what. he wouldn't even notice he's the reason you're upset at first even though he's been asking around on who put you in that mood. despite himself being the perpetrator but he didn't really know that did he?

the only reason he does is because he assumed you were just because you avoided him like some sort of.. cockroach! (he dislikes those.) and he couldn't take it anymore.

was probably 1 sec away from barging into your dorm which wouldn't take a lot of effort since one ram to the door would probably break it.

bless jamil for jailing all the carpets so kalim doesn't find them.

even if said carpets fling him off when he's riding them.

"kalim, why would you buy a literal house... and you also got a rare address paid--"

"for them! ;D"

"... you do know they'd be more offended by the fact that you'd try to replace that.., ahem. dorm, right?"

"oh... should I buy them a vehicle then?"

you only promise to forgive him once he takes back the keys, and the house entirely...

(grim begged you to keep it, 'house for him apparently.')

azul (keeps trying to offer you discounts thinking it's a good excuse to have you over.)

"I assure you. you'll find no deal better than this."

"I'm not even that hungry for sea food, actually I'm craving some--"

"you're in luck then! ahem, it's 26% off due to a special event for today."

pro tip: keep insisting to eat at other places cause he's gonna keep increasing the discount by 2% until you eventually relent. once, you made him go to the point of 75% off, it's almost hilarious if not for the fact it only worked once.

now he won't go last 50!

ahem. if you look closely you can almost spot tiny cracks accumulating with each denial you respond with, and each increase of his discount. he's grown to be wary about the bullshit 'lucky' promos you just happen to stumble on.

last time you did he practically lost a week's worth of the presumed income he's predicted cause you actually went around and told your first year friends about it... who.. in turn told some, other friends of theirs about it and you could guess.

love must hurt.. and unfortunately it's his wallet wailing.

but azul is not so easily swayed by this! for you have swayed him first! *wink wonk*

but azul has another trick up his sleeve... keeping on roping jade and floyd into it; whom are far too enthusiastic cause finally— something fun to do! someone to bother! not only have you got the most stubborn octopus having frequent suspicious 'deals' but here are his equally suspicious lackeys.

who keeps.. talking about fried octopus..

yeah, you're not sure if preaching about azul’s species is the job they were assigned.

they're fairly easy to point in the right direction anyways. the tweels have always associated you with the word 'fun' so just a little, friendly suggestion from and they were off to their merry way. mortifying every single person you come across with their sudden attachment.

one of their tricks? following you around. and just somehow, every single place you enter is just mysteriously full even though you peered inside and there was like 7 tables empty. what are they hosting? ghosts? spirits?

...

they do look like they've seen some though..

jade rn: "a shame indeed, you must be hungry. why don't we escort you back to monstro lounge?" :)

long story short you can't even reply cause the sleek eel is already guiding you around by the use of his hands on your shoulders. just to make sure you don't stray away from the destination, he says.

"didn't you say that yesterday's promo was like, a one day thing?" you quirk a brow, and you almost fool yourself into thinking he flinched.

azul clears his throat. "well—today is.. the month before you've graced octavinelle with your assistance—"

he praises himself for his quick thinking.

COME ON! it doesn't matter if you're sick of eating stir fried shrimp, or the butter one, or every single dish they serve that includes shrimp! (also do not mention that you ate somewhere else before you just decide to visit his dorm because that establishment just mysteriously got filed a non-legal business report.)

then you've got floyd chasing you around with a fork. which is more terrifying because he's holding it in a notion that would seem like he'd just stab down at you when he catches up with your little goose chase.

it's just.. you're not sure if your stomach could take another bite of the poor food he stabbed into, and is now chasing you around with.

you screech. "JADE PLEASE."

the man shrugs. "it's a free taste."

"AZUL."

"... only on a condition of course."

frankly. it took all the balls he had to actually sputter out the most simplest sentence ever, cause during the time he rehearsed that in front of his mirror it just plagued him with embarrassment but he's getting desperate.

'I'd like to take you out to dinner, somewhere else of course.'

actually, maybe obliterating any possible craving for the food of his lounge just might've been part of his plans to ask you out..?

leona (prevents you from actually being productive via dragging you down to 'nap' every. single. time.)

"I will literally fail if you don't let go of me right now."

"hmph. so what? it's not like failing a grade killed anyone."

"leona just because you've lived through a lot of fails doesn't mean I have to, we're not all rich enough to not finish school."

to which he'd retaliate that all you'd need is to marry him and you'd be set for life.

there is no winning an argument with leona when it comes to his naps. if he states that you're to be next to him as he sleeps, its final. no buts, no retaliations, cause apparently they're all invalid according to him even if you drag him to court.

rhetorically of course, that if its a comical court scene his only statements are; 'well you're wrong', 'who cares', and 'i dont care'. one way or another he's still gonna win you over and now you're fit snugly in his arms, lamenting.

and if crowley chastises you for not doing the errands (via leona's common interference.) the only thing you need to honestly do is to complain to leona about it and suddenly crowley has the kindness to forgive you for your 'laziness' then says something about enjoying your time together?

leona's work no doubt.

you suppose he does has its perks. even if most of it isn't exactly ideal.

if you're being smart then you should give him an ultimatum or something, or bribe him. but... that really has no guarantee to work either cause you're ending up defeated, or just defeated and flustered since he's somehow unconsciously flirty.

at the end of the day you can't really hate him cause the following day you find out he sent an already sleep deprived ruggie to do your work. 'so you can shut your fussing up and let me enjoy you.' he says, and you quote.

it goes something like;

"if i finish my work i'll stick by you all day."

a stready flow of confidence keeps your voice firm as you glower down at the blank-faced leona sat on the grass. he merely tilts his head, raising a brow at you and seemingly pondering from the way his eyes fly to the sky.

you'd think that maybe your plan actually worked but he merely grunts and flops backwards, holding the back of his head with his palms as he laid. and! he ignores you.

...this little greedy man... "why should i care whether or not you finish your work?" he huffs, like the evil, arrogant spawn he is but you can't really defend yourself cause said evil spawn bewitched you so much that you actually still like him.

"because you care about me?"

"...fine," he scowls, releasing a breath you'd mistake for irritation. "then, do you really think i need you to finish your work when i can just keep you right here?"

you sulk. "i'll do anything you want?"

he deadpans as if you said something stupid. "i don't need you to anything else but sit still and be pretty."

...

see what i mean about him eventually winning you over? yeah.

next morning there's a rebellion in savanaclaw about overworked residents and ruggie is the head of them.

"he said that he doesn't need you today." <- ruggie, steering you away.

"really?" <- you, confused

riddle (overthinks TOO HARD.)

“I'm just a little busy.”

“I understand,” riddle says.

“I'm just a little busy.” he understands.

“a little busy.” its just… a small thought…

“I'm just busy.” his mind is a hazard at this point.

for someone as supposedly maintained as riddle—you'd think his mind is as composed as it is organized. like the pens you'd perfectly align in correlation to order of colors, or the neat pile of clothing folded neatly, tucked in some corner in your closet that is farther in since it's used less.

that's just how he is, or at least seems to be. a bundle of organized thoughts, every thought connected to another. a mind too clean to be going on haywire (when he isn't in a particular mood, that is.)

you're just busy. he thinks. you said it yourself, with that agonizingly nice smile that must be sprinkled with some kind of spell from the way it just eradicated all the protests in his throat upon sight. he isn't one to question it, he wants to help but not if you don't ask.

he can only stare with resigned acceptance at your insomnia induced eyes.

but when the curtain of darkness befalls night raven college, even in the comfort of heartslabyul is he still thinking about that thought–and he can’t help but wonder; why exactly are you busy? its not that he’s suddenly hyper aware of your lack of presence since you’ve been attached to the hip the previous week and now you’re just.

…busy…

riddle likes to think of himself as a level-headed, private person. like the boy he raised himself to be and therefore proud of. but its way past 10AM. which is usually the time he sleeps, and let me tell you that he’s never once broke the cycle for years. yet here he is, a frown of frustration present on his face as he wills his mind to sleep.

somehow closing his eyes felt forced, he immediately snapped them open once his mind decides to conjure an image of you even in the darkness his lids offers.

“THIS IS ABSURD.”

and the yell promptly woke up the entire dorm from the ferocity of his scream. (and of course gave them the flashback of their year.)

that night was one of the worst he’s ever had because he woke up with red rimmed eyes and a pounding headache that ensured his bad mood the rest of the day.

everyone noted to steer clear.

and he unknowingly steered clear of yours since you were ‘busy.’

“why are you sulking?” a voice queried, spoken as though they were eating something as they asked. a reprimand rises in his throat, but it all just dies down once his sharp eyes settle on you, slipping into the seat in front of him then raising a brow and the traces of irritation practically evaporates from his eyes.

he feels the need to cough–so he does. “i’m– i’m not.” he clears his throat, avoiding your eyes but still sneaking in glances, something he notes is that you’re still looking everytime he does. (and boring an unimpressed face because he knows you don’t believe him at all.)

guilt rises in his mind, because he feels a slither of annoyance and its the presence of pettiness that bothers him. riddle knows you’re not at fault, just his mind at convincing that you just somehow decided in the span of a day that you might not like him anymore–so he can’t help the bite.

“why are you here?” a glance not intended to look mean.

“i thought you were busy.” he adds.

your brows raise, he spots your teeth holding your lips back from showing your grin and he feels warm. “what?” he hisses defensively, despite you not even having replied to him yet.

he leans backwards, straightening up in his seat when your chin leans forward, resting on your intertwined fingers. you flash him a smile.

“mr. rosehearts, are you perhaps… sulking because i’m busy?”

“no!”

silence.

“no.” he repeats, weaker.

“well,” you continue, beaming. “i heard from ace that you were awake the entire night, and that you kept him awake too. are you alright?”

he sputters. “it wasn’t because of you!”

you snort. “i didn’t even say anything about me.”

so you incline to following riddle around, poking fun at him and still trailing after the seemingly enraged red head because despite his angry protests, demanding you to go away because you’re annoying he keeps glancing back to see if you’ll follow,

so cute…….

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inkskinned · 2 months

Text

okay if you're really cool about things, i can be honest with you. before you read further, decide if you're a girl's girl. if you're cool and actually cool or like not cool.

men don't talk in my book because i was fuckken tired of the way they're the center of every fucking story. i was tired of how every story takes a moment to let them talk. men can shut up for literally one fucking book.

unfortunately not everyone is cool. professionally what i usually say is i didn't want to add violence to the world. the only men in my book are abusers, so they don't get to talk. they don't get to take up space. they ruined my life, they don't get to have their words echo anymore.

because like, yeah! you find practically any story about a person surviving trauma and... there's a man at the center. men are often rescuing us from these things. a "good man" is always standing around, being a good man, proving to the victim that good men are the real men. that her experience was unique rather than universal.

the redacted text has not been taken well by all of my early readers. there is this weird, crouching growl that keeps occurring with men-of-a-certain-age. why don't we hear his side of the story?

when i sat down to write everything that happened to me, i couldn't look at the frank brutality of my abuser's words on a page and think to myself: i actually let him speak like that. i had to redact his words from the manuscript. i then left it redacted. no victim is going to read this book and hear the person who hurt them. it is a book for the victims to speak. abusers shut up challenge, forever. for eternity.

my father once told me, chuckling, i should just have a page of redaction where i let the man just finally talk. it is funny to joke about how we should make a whole page in my book about a man that hurt me. this was not the only time someone commented - it feels like you're hiding things. how do i know you're actually a victim if he doesn't get to speak?

there are books where women aren't even present. i even genuinely like some of those books. like, who doesn't like the hobbit?

i keep running into people defending this imaginary man. the default narrative is so true to some people that they will defend any man, just by virtue of the assumption - "if he's acting like that, you had to push him." certain people need definitive proof that you didn't accidentally make your partner into an abuser. they need to decide if you deserved it, because they want to be able to judge you.

which makes sense, i guess, from a hind brain perspective. if you can figure out "why" someone was cruel, you can protect yourself against it. if you defend the bully, the bully might side with you. i don't really know their explanation for feeling this about a character in a book. trust me, i wrote the guy. he is not going to protect you.

i guess i just - there was a time in my life where i desperately wanted anyone to defend me. where i could have really used someone saying holy shit are you okay instead of what did you say to make him act like that to you.

instead, over dinner, a friend-of-a-friend i just met is pouring herself wine. i heard you wrote a book, she says. she gives me the kind of chilly smile i associate with knives. i heard it's unfair to men.

#the author is nonbinary. don't get fucking weird.#btw if ur a woman and u do this u go to advanced special hell. like if u defend ab*sers at all #u dont get to pretend ur protected from being misogynistic. ur not. we all have internal work.#writeblr #i can't write lately wtf

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dancingbirdie · 8 months

Note

Okay so on Astarion, I was reading this fic about him not knowing Tavs true intentions with him and it bothering Astarion a lot, so what if he goes to some mage or magic user and asks them to show Tavs true intentions to him, when he does the vision he sees is just... being snuggled. It's Tav on top of him and the both of you are falling asleep, his hands are under your shirt softly petting your skin as your sleepy self is contently snuggled up to him. I just start crying about him finding out that Tavs DASTARDLY and EVIL plan with him, their greatest desire from him... is to simply be held. 🥺

Hi @goblin-creatcher! Thank you so much for this BEAUTIFUL prompt. I, uhh, kind of took it and went a million miles an hour with it. This is honestly one of my favorite things I've ever written. I hope you enjoy it as well! xoxoxo

Something Imagined / Something Real

Word Count: 3.9K

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Astarion x f!Tav

Warnings/Tags: Brief but detailed description of rough consensual sex, descriptions and references to Astarion's trauma/trauma responses, minor Act 1 and Act 2 spoilers, FLUFF, angst

Suggested Song Pairing: Slow Dancing in A Burning Room (Stripped) - cover by ST LUNA

Summary: Astarion has been suspicious of Tav’s true intentions toward him. He persuades Gale to cast a spell and reveal her motivations. ANGST and FLUFF ensue. A rewriting of Astarion’s confession scene from Act 2.

The sun had just begun to set on the campsite when Astarion decided to put his plan into action. He had waited until Tav departed with some of the other party members before making his way over to the wizard. Gale was too busy reassembling the bookshelf inside his tent to notice Astarion’s approach. It wasn’t until he gave a polite cough that Gale jumped and whirled to face him.

“No, no, no,” he began all at once, hands raised in a sort of shooing motion. Astarion stared at him in confusion. “I can respect Tav’s indulging in your need for blood, but as I’ve said before: I taste terrible.”

Astarion scoffed. “Charming. Actually, wizard, I was coming to request your aid in a different, though somewhat related, matter.”

“Really? Care to elaborate?” Gale responded, still somewhat wary. It wasn’t often he found himself alone with the vampire.

“Testy, I see,” Astarion crooned teasingly. His knee-jerk response to people treating him like a monster, to behave in the most false saccharine sort of way.

But he drew up short, censoring himself before saying anything else he might regret. He knew he needed to get on the wizard’s good side if he had any chance of getting the answers he sought.

“I was hoping you knew a spell to reveal someone’s true intentions. Their… motivations for behaving in a certain way, so to speak,” he finished more seriously.

Gale pondered the question for a moment before answering.

“Hmm… yes, there is magic to determine that sort of thing… Although it’s been some time since I practiced it…” He trailed off, rubbing his chin in thought.

“Why are you asking for such a thing?” he asked suddenly.

Astarion had been prepared for this question, of course. No one did anything for free, no questions asked. He delivered his explanation perfectly, as he’d been rehearsing in his mind.

“One might say our dear sweet Tav and I have been growing a bit… closer these days, but I can sense a master manipulator when I see one. I just simply want to ensure their intentions toward me - toward the party - are true,” he replied with mock innocence.

“Ah, yes,” Gale nodded. “I gathered as much when the two of you slipped away from the tiefling’s party a few nights ago.”

“But,” he continued on,”I needn’t think you should worry when it comes to Tav. She seems about as transparent as they come. I’m sure any intentions she has toward you are true.”

Yes, but the best actors always mask their motivations behind innocence and transparency, Astarion thought to himself. I should know. I’ve been doing it for centuries.

After the party’s unfortunate meeting with that Gur in the Sunlit Wetlands, Astarion realized he would have to take potential threats from Cazador even more seriously. He wasn’t about to lose his freedom, not now that he finally had some small taste of it.

It didn’t hurt to be more suspicious of everyone he encountered, even the sweetling Tav. Anyone could be an operative sent by Cazador, and the best ones would be as skilled as he was in the art of manipulation. It was well-known at this point that the person he’d grown the closest to on their journey was their brave party leader, Tav. Unlikely as it may be that she was scheming for his master, Astarion’s paranoia wouldn’t let him indulge in interactions with her a second longer unless he knew how she truly felt.

Given Gale’s hesitation, Astarion knew he would have to kick his acting up a notch. Press on that wizard’s heartstrings. Touch the one nerve he knew he was sensitive to.

“Gale, darling, from one literally damaged soul to another, indulge me just this once,” Astarion beseeched him.

The wizard glared at him a moment, before finally relenting with a heavy sigh. “Fine. Fine. But I want it known that I don’t agree with this so-called solution one whit,” he grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yes, yes, noted and formally documented, on my word as a former Baldurian magistrate,” Astarion replied cheerily. “So, let’s hop to it then, shall we?”

“What, right now?” Gale asked, shocked. “Shouldn’t we be, I don’t know, a little less conspicuous?”

“What better time than now?” Astarion responded. “Tav’s out gathering firewood with Wyll and Karlach. They won’t be back for some time. As for Lae’zel and Shadowheart, well…” he paused, gesturing over his shoulder.

Said two were engaged in a heated sparring session on the outskirts of the camp. Snarls and curses could be heard emanating from both warriors as they tried, and failed, to gain the upper hand against their opponent.

“That lovers’ dance could go on until morning,” Astarion finished.

“Fair point,” Gale admitted begrudgingly, grimacing at the sound of swords clashing violently. “Very well. Let’s get started.”

Clearing his throat, Gale began to utter a series of phrases completely foreign to Astarion. He watched as the wizard began moving his hands in a wavelike pattern, forming a circle before them. Suddenly, a mist began to form from seemingly thin air, taking shape according to the boundaries Gale’s hands were creating. The mist grew more and more opaque until it appeared before them like a clouded mirror.

As the fogginess of the ethereal magic began to clear, the “mirror” became a confusing blur of scenes whipping by, too fast for Astarion or Gale to really comprehend. There were flashes of Tav and Astarion, together and separate, but they disappeared too quickly to ascertain their context. It was as though the spell was shuffling through the entirety of Tav’s thoughts, assessing each one at breakneck speed.

Finally, the spell slowed to a halt, stopping on one scene in particular. Astarion was struck speechless by what began playing out in the foggy portal before them. So distracted, he didn’t even notice Gale’s tight cough, or how the wizard suddenly became intensely interested in a copse of trees nearby, rather than the revelation the spell was revealing.

Not that the scene was especially profound, objectively speaking. In fact, to anyone else, it might be viewed as the least revelatory thing possible that the spell could have shown. Boring. Inconsequential, even. But to Astarion, it was almost earth shattering.

He saw himself - he could see his face! - with Tav, lying tangled together in some immaculate four-poster bed.

That was the first shock that coursed through him, nearly causing his knees to buckle. He was seeing himself for the first time in over 200 years. Or at least, he was seeing himself as Tav saw him. And… the person he saw… Well, he was gorgeous. White blonde locks, curled and tousled in a devil-may-care sort of way. A strong, patrician nose that suggested good breeding. High, sharp cheekbones. Full lips, upturned in a thoughtless grin. Red eyes bordered by long, sweeping lashes. Delicately pointed elven ears. Smooth alabaster skin, without blemish or spot.

Astarion could scarcely believe his own eyes.

The second shock to his system was the nature of their activities. He would have been less surprised had the vision shown them fucking. Him taking her roughly from behind perhaps. His name a cry of ecstasy from her lips as he pistoned in and out of her with a feral sort of determination.

Fantasies of lust, of total domination, now those were things he was familiar with inspiring in the minds of the victims he had taken as lovers. It was what he strove for, in all honesty. Desire like that all but ensured he would capture his prey and live to serve another day for his master.

But nothing of the sort was occurring between vision-Tav and himself. Instead, they were just… embracing? What in sweet hells was this?

She lay halfway on top of him. Her hair was mussed, perhaps from sleep or perhaps from previous lovemaking. One hand was drawing absentminded shapes across his chest, her lips trailing behind, leaving kisses in their wake. He watched as vision-Astarion chuckled softly, as his hands slipped beneath her sleepshirt to caress her waist, as he placed an innocent kiss on the top of Tav’s head. Eventually, she reached for his hand. They both watched their fingers intertwine, blissfully content.

It was the purest, unadulterated expression of affection that Astarion had ever seen. Something in his heart quaked at the sight of it. He wanted that moment. He envied, he hated, vision-Astarion for enjoying such apparent happiness.

So absorbed in the vision and its implications, Astarion failed to notice the soft padding of feet that indicated someone’s re-entry into the camp.

“If the two of you are quite finished poking around in my head,” an angry voice suddenly spat from behind them, “I’d appreciate you preserving what little privacy I have left and shutting that damn spell off.”

Mortified, Astarion and Gale turned to see Tav, arms crossed and visibly seething with rage. Gale quickly dispelled the magic with a flick of his wrist. A blush was slowly but surely rising up Tav’s neck to reach her cheeks. Whether from rage or embarrassment, Astarion couldn’t be certain.

“Tav, let us explain-” Astarion started.

“It was his idea-” Gale blurted at the same time, pointing at Astarion.

Both paused, glaring at one another. But Tav would have none of their feeble attempts at backpedaling.

“The explanation doesn’t matter. Whose idea it was doesn’t matter. The fact is that both of you violated the privacy of my mind, which I’ll remind you, has ALREADY been violated by having a bloody tadpole forced inside of it!” Tav shouted. At their words, the camp became enveloped in a heavy silence. Even the crickets ceased their chirping.

Astarion cringed inwardly, knowing the other party members could plainly hear this altercation and had likely stopped whatever it was that they had been doing to listen in. He noted the sounds of swords clanging together had ceased. He was certain Lae’zel and Shadowheart at least were aware of what was happening. Nosy bastards, all of them.

But what disturbed him even more was the realization that Tav’s eyes were welling with tears. She was too proud to acknowledge them or wipe them away. Such was her nature. But they were there nonetheless, and the knowledge that Astarion had brought her to the point of tears was enough to spur a rush of utter self-loathing inside him.

Without another word, Tav turned on her heel and marched stiffly out of camp, toward the direction of a nearby creek they’d identified as a water source earlier in the day.

“I can’t believe I let you convince me to perform that spell,” Gale said as she disappeared between the trees. He dragged his hands down his face.

“How could we have been so doltish, forgetting that all of our privacies have already been violated with this tadpole business?”

Astarion didn’t have an answer to that. At least, not one the wizard could possibly understand.

The thought hadn’t occurred to Astarion, he realized, because violations of privacy had been something so intrinsic to his being for over 200 years. He didn’t even recognize it as something abnormal. Like a fish unaware that the water surrounding it is, in fact, water.

Violations of privacy were a part of life, at least for him. So much so that his request for Gale to perform that magic hadn’t even occurred to him as an overstepping of boundaries. To Astarion, it had simply been a matter of survival. He had needed to know another potentially manipulative person’s true intentions, and so he had found a means to uncover it and maintain the upper hand.

Belatedly, he also realized that Gale’s hesitation to cast the spell had had nothing to do with being inconvenienced for the evening, but because the wizard had known that it was improper to do to another person. If he had misread that, Astarion wondered, then what other truly benevolent behaviors had he mistaken as pragmatic manipulation?

“I need to go find her,” Astarion murmured, clenching and unclenching his fists in an uncharacteristic fit of uncertainty.

“Yes, you do,” Gale asserted. “We both owe her a sincere apology… if she’ll even accept it.”

“I’ll see if I can convince her to come back to camp,” Astarion replied, making to leave in the direction Tav had stormed off.

“Wait,” Gale said, a hand on his shoulder. Astarion turned to meet his gaze.

“Look, well, I’m obviously not an expert in healthy demonstrations of affection. But I do think it’s obvious from what you saw in that spell that Tav well and truly cares about you. In perhaps the purest way possible. Treat that carefully.”

Part of Astarion wanted to laugh aloud in utter hopelessness at the wizard’s advice. Someone cared for him? Truly and purely? No hidden games, no strings attached? Oh certainly, that wouldn’t be a problem for Astarion at all. Obviously, his 200-year existence as a master-manipulator-fetch-hound for a power-hungry vampire lord had perfectly prepared him to respond to this situation in a healthy manner. Obviously.

But all that was too much to reveal to someone he barely knew and too heavy to say aloud. Rather than giving some smarmy retort, Astarion opted instead to give a stiff nod and continue walking toward the edge of camp. He had no idea how he could make things right with Tav, but at the very least he could try.

***

He found Tav sitting on a fallen tree near the edge of the creek bed. Her legs were drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped around them as she rested a cheek to her knees. In the waning twilight, she reminded Astarion of some misbegotten gargoyle perched on the roof of a temple, solitary and so very sad.

Her ears twitched as she noted his arrival. Astarion wasn’t trying to be stealthy. On top of everything else, the last thing he needed to do was scare her.

“Can I join you?” he asked softly, wincing to himself at the awkwardness of the question.

The reality was that there was no way to broach this conversation without some stilted beginning, and he hated it. Navigating tricky conversations was normally something he excelled at. But as he was quickly finding, when it related to Tav, nothing in his past life had prepared him to respond to her well.

“If you’d like,” Tav answered tonelessly.

Knowing it was probably the best response he was going to get, Astarion swallowed thickly and moved to sit down on the log next to her.

“I… wanted to… apologize for what you saw, back at camp,” he began.

“Apologize for doing it, or apologize for getting caught?” Tav asked as she turned her head to look at him, resting her other cheek on her knees.

Astarion balked at the question. Her piercing gaze unnerved him. He hadn’t really thought that far.

“Both, I suppose?” he answered honestly, although it sounded more like a question to Tav. She huffed a laugh.

“You know, part of me really wants to yell at you. Scream in your face. Tell you off proper,” she mused.

“So why don’t you?” Astarion asked, perplexed.

Tav didn’t respond at first, just sat there studying him. As if by staring at him long enough, she could project the answer into his mind.

Astarion didn’t interrupt her, much as he would have liked to. Part of him always bristled when people gazed at him for too long. It was unfair that they could study him, when he hadn’t been able to so much as glance at his reflection in over 200 years.

Finally, Tav released a heavy sigh, her body curling further in on itself. She closed her eyes as she spoke.

“Because then I would be just like every other bastard in your life who’s mistreated you.”

Astarion flinched in surprise. Those had not been the sort of words he’d been expecting. The truth of them cut deeper than had she raged at him like she wanted to. It left him feeling even more vulnerable, and that in turn made him want to retreat into the comfort of viciousness.

“I don’t need you to pull any punches,” he scoffed, glaring at her. “Go ahead and say what you will.”

She straightened up at his tone, opening her eyes and returning his glare.

“No. I don’t want to,” she said testily.

“I don’t need your pity,” he hissed. “It’s insulting.”

“Gods damn it all, Astarion!” Tav exclaimed suddenly, causing him to jump in surprise. She threw her hands up in defeat. “I’m not doing anything out of pity! I don’t want to rage at you, because I know that whatever I say right now, I won’t mean it come the morning!”

Astarion blinked. Once again he was left feeling flat footed by the turn of the conversation. Sensing his surprise, Tav continued on with her deluge of words.

“You hurt me tonight, and I’m angry at you - and at Gale, for that matter - for what you did. But you’ve shared enough of your… history… with me, that I realize your behavior is just… just a byproduct of centuries of abuse and manipulation you’ve endured! And I won’t be another abuser in your life. I won’t,” she asserted.

Astarion continued staring at her, as if she were some otherworldly creature that had just wandered across his path. He watched as Tav inhaled a deep breath, releasing it shakily. She turned away from him to peer out into the forest, uncertain. She opened and closed her mouth several times before actually speaking. As if whatever she was about to say was more intimidating to her than anything else she’d said tonight.

“I… care deeply for you, Astarion,” she said quietly. “You obviously saw that in the vision. I’m not playing any games. There’s no hidden motive. I’m not trying to manipulate you.”

She turned to look at him again before continuing, her breathing a bit unsteady.

“I didn’t sleep with you that night of the tiefling party as some sort of maneuver to gain your trust. Although I understand if that was your motivation for doing so.”

Astarion’s expression morphed into one of guilt. But Tav nodded soberly, as if she had already expected it, before continuing on.

“It’s okay. I’m not angry. But I’m putting all my cards on the table now, so to speak. Actually, your decision tonight forced my hand, but I had been planning on telling you soon anyway. So, there you have it. The truth of my intentions. What you do with that information is up to you.”

She turned back to gaze out at their surroundings. Like she was giving him the opportunity to bolt away without her watching him. As if she expected him to flee from her confession.

But Astarion didn’t flee. He remained seated, staring at her in complete wonderment.

“Why?” he asked quietly.

She looked back at him again, confusion evident on her face.

“Why what?”

“Why do you care for me? You’re so… well-adjusted. And I’m well… this,” he finished lamely, placing a hand on his chest.

Tav pursed her lips. “It would be a mistake to misconstrue my empathy for you as me being well-adjusted. Everyone has their own demons, Astarion,” she murmured. “Mine just look different from yours.”

Astarion mulled her words over in his mind, considering them. He leaned forward to brace his forearms on his knees, his head drooping slightly.

“I…,” he started, unsure. “That vision… what it implied… You deserve something real, Tav. You’re incredible… truly.”

Tav closed her eyes, bracing for the fallout. Even though she would accept his decision, whatever it was, she didn’t think she could bear to watch him deny her. It would hurt too much.

“Look. When we met, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan,” he blurted all at once. Rising swiftly to his feet, Tav watched as he began to pace before her, near to bursting with frenetic energy.

“Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me,” he counted off, laughing half-heartedly. “It was… easy - instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in. All you had to do was fall for it. And all I had to do… was not fall for you… which is where my nice, simple plan fell apart,” he finished, stopping to stand before her.

She held his gaze, speechless.

“I want you,” he whispered fervently. “I want what was in that vision… I want us to be something real.”

Never in a million years had she thought he would respond to her like this. She opened her mouth to speak, but Astarion cut her off with another sudden exclamation.

“I just don’t know what real is,” he confessed, his tone a touch hysterical. Tav knew from his body language that being this transparent was completely out of Astarion’s comfort zone.

“Being… close to someone - any kind of intimacy - was something I performed to lure people back. For him. Even though I know things between us are different, being with someone still feels… tainted. Still brings up those feelings of disgust, and loathing. I… I don’t know how else to be with someone. No matter how much I’d like to,” he finished, staring at her with beseeching eyes, willing her to understand.

Tav rose to her feet, coming to stand before him.

“I don’t want you for your body,” she whispered. “Or to perform any acts of intimacy. We can be together, without sleeping together, for as long as you need.”

“Really,” he asked softly, his voice pitched low, rough with emotion.

“Really,” Tav asserted, giving him a small smile. “Would it be all right if…” she paused, conflicted. He eyed her curiously.

“Could I hug you?” she whispered.

The fact that she asked before doing so caused a well of emotion to spring up inside him. Eyes watering, Astarion nodded.

Slowly, Tav moved forward to wrap her arms around his waist. Her head nestled into the crook of his neck and shoulder. A perfect fit. He felt her exhale a deep sigh.

Tav hugging him was a sensation unlike any he had ever felt. At least, any he could remember feeling. The act of being touched, embraced, without any desire for something more. She just wanted to hold him, feel him close to her. It was incomprehensible to him, but utterly enjoyable, at the same time.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Astarion raised his arms to return Tav’s embrace. Drawing her even closer, he bowed his head to rest his cheek against her hair. It was soft, like the finest silk. He closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply, appreciating her sweet, floral scent.

She made to pull away after a moment, not wishing to overwhelm him. But Astarion gripped her more firmly, a silent urge for them to stay that way a little longer.

“This… this is nice,” he whispered.

He both felt and heard Tav hum contentedly in response.

It wasn’t identical to the vision from Tav’s mind that he had seen, but Astarion reveled in their embrace nonetheless. It felt like the beginning of something new. And for the first time in his very, very long life, Astarion felt excited at the prospects of what would come next.

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