#i hope that last bit in general is worded right tbh im not very great at explaining my thoughts
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Omg you seem so into idolish7 … I’ve acc never heard of it but I looked it up and it’s not available in my area but you said it’s also a show? So maybe it’s like enstars idk but it sounds (from what you said) like it has very unique ?? characters yk? I love how passionate you sound about it tho I love when people talk about things they’re super into ^^ I do the same a lot but I also feel like I’m bothering ppl if they don’t respond with the same enthusiasm :’) esp bc I spam a LOT when I’m excited about smth I’m into so it’s nice seeing others who like to really go into detail about their interests yk?? ALSO omg fellow Dazai + Oikawa kin omg 🤝
Also, I’m sure tons of people would love listening/reading your rambles and not feel bothered at all 😊, though i def understand the fear bc i've had some experiences like that but I think it’s very endearing (if that’s the right word) as opposed to people just not being very passionate about anything in particular
I feel super cheesy sending this tbh 😭 last thing tho, do you have any song recs from it? (still not sure if it’s a show or game but songs are always great even before checking the actual thing out)
OH EM GEE HII !!!!! this made me tear up a bit in all honesty ! im so glad i piqued your interest enough to try checking i out !!!! i7 is both a game and a show ! exactly like enstars youre right !!! (you can get the game on qooapp if youd like to try but the show is available anywhere and im pretty sure it follows the exact storyline! (atleast i hope im not missing anything HAHAHA))
i also love when people rant about their interests !! its so endearing and i love when they smile happily and get to the point of waving their arms around and its like their eyes- no, they sparkle and and its so cute i swear
i understand exactly how you feel !! i also spam when im super excited and into the topic HAHA but then i inevitably stop bc ive been told im annoying too many times to count so now its, reflex i guess?
dazai oikawa kin twinsie !!!!!!
haha yeah i know of a couple people who dont mind when i ramble, its the opposite and they actually encourage me to talk to them and make sure i feel safe and comfortable and like im not a bother! i still feel super guilty and annoying though so i stop shortly after starting and they have to encourage me to continue :( i love them very much <3 (it is the right word yes !! and also you can always talk to me if youd like !!!! i love listening to others nerd out about their likes !!! maybe we might even find something to gush over together :D !!)
NO NO youre always welcome on my blog this is a safe space !!!!! <3 and omg yes youre so right songs just speak louder than your own words sometimes HAHAH ill drop a song from every unit if you dont mind cuz they all have a different vibe obviously !!
my personal fav of them all is 4-ROAR by ŹOOĻ !! theyre like an antagonist unit but that song is a banger i love it sm
from i7 it has to be WiSH VOYAGE its the 1st op i think and it holds a special place in my heart, but i also love MONSTER GENERATiON since its their first song ever <3
i dont listen to TRIGGER much but i rlly like Radiance ! it gives them a whole new vibe and personally i think it fits them well :) slower songs arent a bad change every once in a while ! i feel like they really needed it after all the suggestive songs they have HAHAHA
i repeat myself but i dont listen to re:vale much either (i have favorites can you tell) but if theres a song i really like it has to be SILVER SKY ! i think it suits their vibe really well ! i also like their cover of Dis one. though it isnt their original song, to me its theirs. idk
and finally i was never rlly invested in MEZZO" (dont get me wrong i love sogo and tamaki as a duo but i7 is just.. the more complete version, yknow?) but i really like miss you... and Dear Butterfly ! i like how their voices mesh in their songs, they sound really good together i think !
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hello! I didn’t see it on your blacklist/any requests for it, so I wanted to ask if you’d be alright doing requests for Supernatural? (with a specific episode number, since it’s such a massive show) — if not, no problem at all! ty!
Oh I must have forgotten to put it on the Sources page! Yeah I'm fine with doing requests for it, and actually kin from it myself (I'm a Castiel)
I just wont do anything involving the creatures appropriated from cultures or anything like that, if that makes sense
- Mod Uravity (Chongyun shift)
#creatures probably isnt the right word tbh but i have really bad brain fog atm and cant think of the right one#i hope that last bit in general is worded right tbh im not very great at explaining my thoughts#anyway#not a request#question time
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march - just some thoughts
i have read more this month than any other month? and its not slowing down its only 3/12 so i have 2/3 of a month to go and i’ve read 26 chapters. even if these chapters are ‘short’ at 10 pages, if i wanna count by ‘20 page’ chunks i’ve still read 13 chunks so far. and i’ve still got more time in the month left. most other months i’ve managed to read ‘a lot’ i read 10-20 chapters. so i’m doing really good.
grammar is a weird thing? in reading i feel like its quite easy now to understand. when listening or watching - same. and yet if asked ‘why do i say/type X’ or ‘why is it written/spoken like X’ i have absolutely no explanation in my head. i could not explain the grammar if prompted. this puts me in a weird place and i feel like i SHOULD go over a grammar guide again just so i can WORD what i’m intuitively understanding.
this is a bit bizarre to me because within the first 6 months of study i DID read through an entire grammar guide just to get an idea of what i was about to look at, and it hardly made sense once actually reading/watching/listening. i understood the guide fine, but actually Seeing chinese i was still confused. i would reference AllSetLearning’s Chinese Wiki on some basic points, then after 6 months i just stopped. now its been what 1.5 years and - reading is so easy, listening is so easy, grammar wise. none of the grammar confuses me. but i no longer ‘explicitly’ have any idea what the fuck the grammar is. i used to. i studied it explicitly before trying to read/listen. and yet now that i can read/listen, i have no idea how to explain the grammar. i can listen to a podcast and i don’t think about what the grammar is i just get it. i read and just know what i’m looking at. its like english - i cannot fucking explain it. Which makes speaking/writing a bit hard. Because when i try to check if i’m right i have no fucking clue HOW anymore - i just say/write what comes to mind and HOPE it makes sense. i have no way to conciously check for errors except ‘does this feel right’? And that’s not good enough for me lol. So I definitely do need to eventually read a grammar guide for explicit explanations again.
Technically I think “English and Chinese Grammar Side By Side” grammar book would be an excellent one to use. Because i read the first 50 pages of it and it compared it to english (so it explained english too), and it was very easy to understand and started basic then got more involved.
I’m probably gonna use my very old Chinese Grammar Self Taught by Thimm book instead. Just because I really like that book. Then I guess use another after (probably Basic Chinese Sentence Patterns since its modern and perfect for ‘catch your own mistakes’ study and much shorter than Eng+Chinese Grammar side by side).
Anyway I’m in a very weird place right now lol. I know i’m understanding grammar that is stuff I never even studied initially in the grammar guide, but unable to explain what it is, and a lot of stuff i did explicitly study in a grammar guide i completely forgot the explanation for. My reading and listening is GREAT, because all my effort only has to go into learning new words lately! its relaxing! Its the only part i need to do! But my writing/speaking i am very concerned about because being able to check myself for mistakes is something i’d like the ability to do.
how grammar is presented really makes a difference in how well i get it. there is some serious benefit to ‘show simple first then build up what you know’ that text books tend to prefer. versus like grammar reference books that may start with some in depth stuff.
i tried to read a japanese grammar guide the other day and 1 it was great but 2 it covered some ADVANCED stuff i never learned in genki 1+2, and so it was Explicit grammar description of stuff i had literally years ago been immersing in japanese and Still not conciously known about. So i felt. Overwhelmed lol. I felt so confused. I feel like I might switch to Tae Kim’s grammar guide primarily just because its structured with basics covered first. and i feel like until the basics are again glued into my brain, seeing even more advanced stuff just confused me so much i had no idea how to remember it. which is funny because? my usual strategy with grammar guides is to just read it and let what sticks stick and what is confusing be moved on from, in the hope i will later see it again and understand it better. so like based on what i usually do i should’ve just been able to read through it (and i’m gonna try anyway lol). but truly japanese grammar just... my mind does not like wrapping around it and remembering it. (chinese grammar is so much easier for me... so much easier....;-; )
i have been tempted to just Restart Nukemarine’s LLJ (Lets Learn Japanese) memrise decks, because I KNOW they worked for me last time really really well. And they include Tae Kim grammar lessons. And I know if i did it then maybe i’d get back to where i was years ago pretty fast.
I tried Earthlingo app. Its a cool idea, I don’t think its worth it though unless you planned to get Rosetta Stone (since Earthlingo is FREE). Earthlingo features 1000 words per language, taught to you by exploring video game worlds as an alien. Its a cool concept, but since all words seem to be nouns then you aren’t even learning the most common verbs/adjectives. And 1000 words is not a lot. And you could learn 1000 quite fast if using srs flashcards like Memrise or Anki (think weeks if you push yourself, and a month or two months if going at a regular pace). Earthlingo you have to slowly explore the worlds so that eats time, you have to choose to test yourself (so you don’t review nearly as often as flashcard apps), and one test includes walking around the world clicking the object which you’re given the word for (takes time to find the right object). All this means a word that might take maybe 15 minutes to study over a few weeks, might instead take much longer to study and learn. I don’t use duolingo because it generally covers so few words (usually 2000-4000 i think which is good for a beginner resource but you have to do the WHOLE course to get to all those words and i take so long on duolingo that could take YEARS for me versus a month on a flashcard app or clozemaster). Duolingo I also don’t use because it very slowly paces learning material (it takes me months/years to get through 1000 words on duolingo - just personally i go so slow on it, i think faster people would find a use for it). Likewise Lingodeer takes me AGES to get through (and i think covers 2000 words nowadays? I’m shocked Duolingo has more words for the japanese course tbh). However, Lingodeer is by far the best ‘app’ for Japanese grammar lessons in app practice form. Even if basically all the apps feel pretty slow to me in how fast they give you new info. Earthlingo is cool that its free, and for learners 12 and under i think it would be super useful as a way to engage them and keep them studying (since what child likes flashcards? whereas as a child i would’ve loved this). But as an adult Earthlingo is sooooo slow on how fast you can learn words, and it does not even offer very many words (1000 is a nice bare minimum but without verbs/adjectives it can only be a supplementary learning tool for beginners at best).
Link about Lingodeer having 2000 words in a course. (Since its SO hard to lookup how much vocabulary lingodeer includes :c )
Nukemarine’s LLJ memrise decks (which I’m considering going through again but ToT agh flashcardssssss.... they sure do work though agh)
http://www.chinese-grammar.com/beginner/ - this is the site I read a chinese grammar guide on at like Month 3. I am rereading it now maybe it will help me remember wtf grammar explicitly is. ToT (A tip, read Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced sections). Last time I visited the site you just clicked a section, then saw each fully explained grammar point and clicked ‘next’ it was nice. Now its laid out a little less ideal for me, but its still got all the same nice info! (Also honestly if you are a beginner I really DO like this grammar guide... it introduces basic info first, gradually gets more complex, and i could follow its logic knowing like 200 hanzi and 100 words ToT. its very easy to understand even if it takes a while to apply that info).
im probably gonna read hanshe more today. i’m at the point where either i know enough vocab, or the writers style has just ‘clicked’ idk. but now i just am not getting bogged down by unknown words and am just. speeding through enjoying the plot. Also rip me this novel has 155 chapters and im only on chapter 30.
watching japanese lets plays is really fun! i feel like im 3 years old cause i just see nouns i can learn pretty easy in context cause i know the game well, and hear some vaguely familiar verbs, but its fun! also it helps i know kingdom hearts 2 like by heart so. a lot of it makes me instantly cheerful and nostalgic. roxas’s voice is so cute in the japanese version.
oh i almost forgot: I found a book recently for chinese that for it’s like 10 page grammar guide summary at the beginning ALONE i think is more than worth the 4 dollars it costs to get. It has a ton of compound words and its a reference book in mandarin and cantonese (it has pronunciation for both, all characters are in traditional). I got it initally because it as a bunch of compound words and I’d like to get better at knowing a lot of common ones. But the intro to the book has a page explaining sentence structures in chinese, then examples. Its so straightforward and to the point. I love it. The book is “Understanding Chinese: A Guide to the Usage of Chinese Characters” by Rita Mei-Wah Choy. (There is also a companion book for individual hanzi, which is nice but this book specifically I’m finding more useful).
what i really like about Listening-Reading method, and reading, as study activities: no matter how I do them it is only improvement. I have a tendency to ‘redo’ material i don’t feel i fully mastered, or refuse to move on. So when i have duolingo, flashcards (sometimes i can move on if i ignore reviews/make myself do new stuff), books, grammar guides, self guided classes - i have a tendency to redo the material. over and over. and not progress and challenge myself. whereas with reading - every time i look up a word its useful because its new or something i clearly Need to review (not something i’ve actually learned and can move past reviewing). so whether i reread material or read new stuff, as long as i run into things i find somewhat challenging (feel the desire to word look up), i know i am running into new material i can learn. Same with listening-reading method: whether i finish a book or just skip to random books, any new chapter i do will give me new words to learn/remember (until i’ve reached a point of perfect listening comprehension which is a WAYS away). There’s no way for me to mess it up. I can give up a book im bored with, i don’t have to stick to one resource to the end.
someone tell me why professionally made chinese audio books almost NEVER line up to the chapters???? whyyyyy ;-;
Even More Notes lol:
So I read so much in Pleco, which auto pronounces, I have COMPLETELY forgot. 得 地 - for these two, when they’re attached after a description like 淡淡 慢慢 高兴 etc, when are they pronounced di versus de???? i’m pretty sure 得 is pronounced de when its an adjective like ‘-ly’. but for 地, i don’t remember if when part of a describer if its pronounced di or de????
#rant#march progress#march#everyone using ore in kh2 is hilarious a lil to me tho#u are all bishies u are all tiny kids WHy u acting so tough lol
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toffee!
ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.
ah yeah ty, good suggestions.
hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(
ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)
hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)
cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe
thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track
domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*
ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album
the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy
sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha
silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either
secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it
STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.
red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved
surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?
gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining
wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)
hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha
<3 w.a. 🐺
i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.
oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.
man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d
okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!
> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)
back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.
i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.
i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.
PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)
i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!
wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ
and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA
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ASKS
hey babies! i’ve decided to answer the asks about back to life one and two like this because ive received so so so many and you guys blew me away so answering every single one of them is the least i can do to show you guys just how grateful i am. thank you so much for giving both parts SO much love, i love and appreciate you guys and the support you’re constantly sending my way with my whole entire heart <33
BYE THE FIC IS SO GOOD SO FAR. MY ANXIETY THO FROM THE ENDING, LIKE PLS KYO REALIZE THE MCS ANXIETY PLS DONT GO OUT WITH SORA PLEASE PLEASE HE SEEN HOW SHE DIDNT LOOK OKAY WHEN HE CAME IN PLEASE REALIZE HER ANXIETY PLEASE
– THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !! this was the very first ask about back to life and it’s honestly the cutest thing ever! I hc Kyoutani to be rally understanding of things like anxiety and depression, generally mental health so that’s why it was easy for him to understand the reader’s situation and mindset!
BACK TO LIFE!!!!!!!! MY HEART!!!!!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO GOOD!!!!! i was really excited when you started posting about it!! i can't wait for part 2, i wanna know how they fix this!
AAAH !! thank you so much for the love and support baby!!!! I really hope you enjoyed part 2 just as much, sending you lots of smooches MWAH
OH MY GOD THE KYO FIC IS AMAZING
THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!!!
OH MY GOD YOUR KYOUTANI FIC HAS ME ACTUALLY FROTHING I LOVE IT SM
IM NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY THAT MY JAW ACTUALLY DROPPED AT THE LAST COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AS WELL I CANT WAIT FOR PART 2
AAAH YOU GUYS !!! this made me so happy !!! thank you so much and I hope part two met your expectations and you enjoyed the ending MWAH!!
HOLY FUCK THAT KYOUTANI FIC WHEW IT WAS SO SO GOOD IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 2
thank you for the food <33
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT BABY !!!
YOUR KYOTANI FIC AHHHHHHH my heart can’t handle this
I AM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT BABY !!!
OW THE END ON BACK TO LIFE HURTED THOUGH GDFGHJDFHJRY
Was overwhelmed by the hurty that I forgot to say how much I ADORE your characterization of Kyoutani. fdjkhgjkgdr
THANK YOU SO MUCH !! honestly- that means the world to me, probably the best compliment you can give me :((
Back to life was so good OMG 😳😳 HELLO??? You're amazing
Thank you so much, my love! it honestly is everything to me when you guys tell me such sweet things I love you so much MWAH!!
the new fic did not help me with my insecurities now i’m just frustrated and insecure. great writing tho.
honestly- same. when I wrote this, I lit indulgent every bit of my mind working into this fic and thats why it means so much to me ?? so youre not alone, my love; but thank you so much <33
The way I panicked at the end of the fic thinking there wasn’t gonna be more to it, holy shi that fox was so good I almost cried thinking they were just gonna end things like that 🥺🥺🥺🥺
I’d NEVER end a fic like that- I hate bad endings and cannot stand cliffhangers but the formatting didn't give me another choice im sorry for the heart attack baby kfhflashsj but am glad you liked it!
@au-roraaa said: ZADE I WAS NEVER A KYO FUCKER BUT I THINK YOUVE CONVERTED ME HOLY FUCKSJFJSJDJSN
THIS IS MY JOB AT THIS POINT I WANT YOU ALL TO TURN INTO KYOU FUCKERS KSSSOH
UR THE BEST WRITER WTF?? WHEN DO U THINK PART TWO WOULD BE UP... and does kyoutani flirt with sora 😣💔
YOU GUYS- NOOO- pls my heart made a loop :(( I love you so much :(( thank you baby and I think now you know what he does with sora MWAH
@kawakuto said: hi hi zade!🤩 (ajdjs idk if you remember me but i moved main blogs and I was @/gukooky before LOL) THE KYOUTANI FIC ANDJWNS I DIDNT EXPECT THE END WAHHHH🥺🥺 it was so well written omg I loved it!! (wtf kyoutani, you said we were going slow what if I wasn’t ready to call u my boyfriend wtffff😔😔 pain.)
AAAAH OFC I DO REMMEBER !! hope youre doing well baby !!! and thank you SO much for your sweet words, I honestly appreciate them so much :((<33
pls I’m in love with your writing. You write kyoutani so well so now I’ll always be grabbing at any crumbs you send my way 🥵
thank you so so so much baby!!!! these kinda words always hit me right at the heart, I appreciate them so much and I love you sm much
bb i love ur kyoutani fic sm :(( ur rlly so talented <33 i look forward to pt 2 ^3^
thank you so much baby, sending a smooch your way mwah
zade that kyoutani piece im in so much pain why would u do this to me 💔💔💔💔
believe me when I say It hurt me even more than you </3
I just finished reading part 2 and it waS SO GOODAJSFHJLFG you did amazing!! (n˘v˘•)¬
THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!
Hi! New nonnie coming through :) First time I'm writing something because I'm such a nervous wreck but I just had to
THE FIC WAS SO GOOD THE VIBES ARE CHEFS KISS. IT WAS SO GOOD I LITERALLY DROOLED I CAN NOT GET OVER IT !
Mister kyotani pls rail me thanks 🐱
THANK YOU AAAH YOURE SO CUTE !!! I truly appreciate this with my whole entire heart so thank you so much baby, hope you have a good one mwah
Wait did he do anything with Sora?
nope!! they just went to the party together but in my mind he didn’t even hug her and she didn’t try anything else, too, simply bc she knew how in love he is with reader!!
YOUR MINDDDDD!! THE KYOU FIC WAS SOOOO GOOOD!! Omg i hope you do a part 3 😭😭
i have a Little sequel which is really really soft but I'd love to write some more for it!
@soranihimawari said: Part 1 & 2 with kyoutani was amazing as always Zade! I really liked the ending. This was such a fun read. I was wondering who’s else would be sharing the apartment with Kyoutani. What made you choose tattoo artist Iwa & Oikawa? Those two made me chuckle with the way they came in like that. Hope you have a great day/evening/late night/etc.
✌🏼&💜
—sora—
aaah thank you so so much, baby!! I truly appreciate your sweet words, youre the cutest! regarding your question: You shares an apartment with Iwa, Oikawa and Yahaba (who also works at the tattoo studio!) and i don't know to be really honest- I just like the thought of these three being really good friends so after contemplating whether or not to go with iwaoi or matsuhana, I ended up going with those two dorks! hope you have a good one baby mwah!!
@sakusapetals said: PLEASEE I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH
AAAH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !!! I LOVE YOU SM
How long did it take you to write the entire two parts? Like wow that’s alot👁👄👁 i adore long fics though
oooh- hm ?? tbh i don't really know ?? I can’t remember ?? I think it took me about a month or like three weeks since I did write it all in one go yk? it was the only WIP I worked on during that time and it felt SO relieving to publish it!
AAAHHH the kyou fic was a masterpiece bb!!! ❤️❤️
thank you so so so much baby!!<33
U LITERLALT WRIYE KYOU THE BEST ABSOLUTE BEST. he’s so aggressive and demanding but he still is willing to show someone special his vulnerability. I LOVE READING STUFF ABOUT HIM FROM U
AAAAH thank you so much- you guys have no idea how much these kinda comments mean to me- I love you so MUCH MWAH
I just read the first part of "back to life" an it had me speechless so many times, almost cried at the end, it's honestly so well written. I'm off to read part two. Have a nice day 🐰
sdoalfsla thank you so much baby! I hope you enjoyed both parts equally as much and thank you for all the love mwah!!<3
Hana is a baddie
SHE IS!! she’s literally the baddest bitch to ever exist ft. saeko ofc but nobody acknowledges it </3
@tonhwa said: I’m in love with the way you write kyoutani pls. Even your previous fics on your old account ( if you don’t mind me mentioning it ) are so fucking amazing. GOSH YOU CHARACTERIZE HIM SO WELL AND THE PLOT IS ALWAYS SO JUICY AND INTERESTING I CANT HELP BUT GO BACK AND READ IT. and then you release this fucking wonderful piece and I feel like it’s my birthday even though it’s already passed LOL ty ily have a wonderful day I’m sobbing tears of happiness
YOU GUYS PLEASE- the fact this made me tear up when I first read it- thank you SO much honestly. knowing you guys enjoy my characterization of my favorite character is honestly everything to me so thank you sm I love you baby have a good one!!<3
I’ve been on this app from high school, and now I’m a college grad. I have to say I’ve never sent a message to anyone I’ve followed. But that tattoo artist! Kyou fic, part 1 and 2 are 😩💕 *chefs kiss* you are one of my favorite writers I’ve ever followed since joining this app. You NEVER disappoint!
-💕 a very satisfied reader
thank you so much baby!! aaah this is honestly so so sweet :(( thank you for taking the time out of your day to send me such a sweet thing, I appreciate it and you so much mwah!!
i gotta say babe THANK YOU FOR THE KYOTANI CONTENT!! muAAAAHH💞💞
NOO THANK YOU GUYS FOR GIVING IT SO MUCH LOVE MWAH!!!
i love kyoutani and he obvs deserves his dick sucked 🤧🤧 but i catch him posting up with other girls I DONT CARE THE SITUATION he gonna catch these hands for a real one 👊🏼👆🏼🤜🏼🥊🥊 kidding 😐😐😐 he’d body me
pls the way this had me chuckling like crazy bc same sajlskjpw he can get mad all he want but he better stay his pretty ass where he is- by my side 😌
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do you have any podcasts recs? I want to listen to archive 81 but I need some backup and I've already listened to the more "famous" ones, like all of them I binge podcasts like they pay me for me it ajsjjshfje
!!!! ok i'm sorry it's taken me a hot minute to get to you BUT i think i have a good amount of reccomendations :o
these first few are kinda "famous" but i thought i'd point em out just in case! some of them ended a few years ago and they were more well known back when they were running
wolf 359: gotta point this one out juuuust in case you haven't listened to it! amazing sci fi... would drama be the right word? it's very intense and has some really interesting meditations on morality and the self But it's also so extremely funny. complete, ended in 2017
ars paradoxica: america during the cold war, the red scare, intense government conspiracies.... And Time Travel! complicated but amazing plot and a big cast- i would recommend not pausing and listening to something else, it gets complex! mischa stanton directed it so you Know it has stellar sound design (added bonus: lgbt main characters) complete, ended in 2018
the bright sessions: people with superpowers go to therapy! plus: shadowy capitalistic conspiracies, amazing romances and phenomenal character development! i'm not a fan of romances and i Loved the ones here (it's not heavily romance focused though!) (added bonus: lgbt main characters + main lgbt romance) complete, ended in 2018. i think a spin off series is running rn tho!
the adventure zone: this isn't an audio drama, it's an actual play d&d podcast! the first season (balance) is amazing- hilarious and heart wrenching! (the heart wrenching takes a while to kick in but MAN it's so good) the first season ended in 2017. i haven't finished the second big season (amnesty) but i loved what i did listen to, same with the currently running season (graduation)
sayer: starts off as sinister night vale but with an ai and in space, evolves into a complicated save-the-world plot concerning several ais. it's in second person and it's Amazing! lots of meditations on the self and personhood. currently on hiatus but will be ending when it resumes
alice isn't dead: from the people who did night vale! starts as a trucker trying to find her wife, evolves to include shadowy government conspiracies and the power of regular people banding together. ending made me tear up it's really good! it's Big on the horror (the first ep is the only podcast that's ever truly scared me and it continues to scare the shit out of me to this day) but its Extremely Good Horror. very americana too! complete, ended in 2018.
ok that's the more well known ones out of the way, i think? i'm not too confident about how well known some of them are nowadays ^^' all i can say is that i heard abt them frequently in 2016. now onto the lesser known ones ! the ones that are complete are generally pretty short listens (relatively- they're still a good handful of hours at the least)
zero hours: by the wolf 359 people, it's a short anthology that released all at once last year. to pharaphrase/quote the official blurb: each episode is a take on the end of the world, whether the apocalypse is planetary or personal. each episode is separated by 99 years, starting in the past (1722) reaching the present and then overtaking it. surprisingly hopeful ending, made me <:')
i am in eskew: you've probably heard me holler about this before- it follows the trials and tribulations of david ward, who lives in the nightmarish and otherworldly city of eskew. 30 episodes long and complete, with a phenomenal ending! i can't rave about this enough i could Keep talking but i'll cut myself short. it's horror and it's damn good horror! does deal with extremely heavy topics, please be careful!
janus descending: sci fi horror with what has to be the most interesting formatting i've seen in ages: the two points of view alternate each episode... but one is chronological and one is backwards! amazingly done, keeps you guessing until the end! complete. follows peter and chel as they undertake a survey mission on an alien planet
midnight radio: made by @/theradioghost! big on the idea that "all ghost stories are love stories". a 1950s radio hostess gets letters from a fan. horror, big on the 1950s aesthetics, focus on the relationship between one and one's hometown. lovely ending! it's sapphic too :]
the far meridian: by the same people who did ars paradoxica! follows peri, a bit of a hermit who has extreme social anxiety, who lives in a lighthouse that suddenly begins to teleport. each morning peri wakes up and the lighthouse is in a different place! there are like... some horror elements? kinda? but it's not intense imo. it mainly follows peri learning to cope with her anxiety & helping others, with each episode usually having a one off encounter (usually pretty strange!) often has wholesome vibes. s3 is currently in production and is the final season. plus: lgbt characters, and kinda spoilers but peri uses a cane later on!
old gods of appalachia: honestly it's what it says on the tin! a collection of short stories set in historical appalachia that deal with entities beyond human understanding. they're good about trigger warnings, but it's Horror. produced by actual appalachians! stellar music, a Lot strong female characters, and a good amount of lgbt rep! killer music!! it's currently releasing but the latest short story is finished. (do listen in order though!)
the deep vault: by the archive 81 team! in an "almost-post-apocalyptic" america a group of friends chase a rumor about a secret hidden vault, only to Find it! follows the group as they traverse the deep vault. horror, actively points out capitalism a Lot, definetly has an interesting ending! amazing sound design, which is to be expected from dan powell!
tides: the official blurb is short and sweet: "tides is the story of dr. winnifred eurus, a xenobiologist stuck on an unfamiliar planet with hostile tidal forces". extremely snarky and endearing main character and fascinating worldbuilding! i don't know the status of s2, but s1 was really good!
limetown: follows one lia haddock, a public radio reporter, as she tries to unravel the mystery of what happened at limetown. all she knows is that 10 years prior, over 300 men, women and children vanished. horror, mystery, and some sci fi elements. presented in a found footage kinda way. i really enjoyed it, especially the first season. complete.
mabel: horror (big on the haunted house type specifically), sapphic romance, fun take on the fair folk/fae! follows anna limon, an in home carer who's trying to get in touch with her client's estranged granddaughter. evolves into a big fae-horror-romance-thing! really interesting romance tbh. amazing imagery and prose- lots of prose + almost poetry, but it's really good i promise. currently on a post season hiatus
spines: horror but it evolves past just horror in an interesting way (keeping the horror bits, of course). follows wren, who woke up in an attic surrounded by the remains of a cult ritual without any memories of who she is or what she was doing. she searches for answers, encountering creepy shit along the way. really interesting take on the super-secret-organization-that's-always-been-there trope! really good ending. one of the main characters is nonbinary + there's other lgbt main characters.
mirrors: by the people who did spines. also starts as horror but evolves past just horror (it's also sci fi). follows three women in three different centuries who are all experiencing the same haunting. phenomenal take on ghosts! like i can't articulate how cool this angle on ghosts is! s3 is supposed to start this year :] one of the main characters is sapphic, and her wife is a supporting character.
the six disappearances of ella mccray: also by the people who did spines and mirrors. evolves past just horror but keeps more of the horror elements? follows the 6 povs of the people who witnessed the surreal disappearance of ella mccray. each saw something different and surreal, and as they search for her, surreal things start happening to them. unsure abt the status of s3 but s1 and s2 are really good! lgbt main characters, including a trans lesbian (played by a trans woman!)
the bridge: horror. follows the crew of watchtower 10 on the transcontinental bridge that spans across the atlantic ocean. i listened to it back in like 2016-2017 so my memory is hazy, but i remember really enjoying it! currently on hiatus.
within the wires: sci fi... horror..? i listened to the first season a few years ago and enjoyed it and i've continued to hear really good things. it's by the people who make night vale! my memory isn't great but iirc the first season is a sort of romance that's formatted as a set of relaxation/meditation cassettes. it's a few seasons in and i think each is generally self contained, im unsure if it's currently running or not
the orbiting human circus of the air: also by the night vale people! again i listened to this a few years ago so im hazy. follows julian the janitor who works at a radio station that broadcasts from the top of the eiffel tower! surreal but in a wholesome way, iirc! i remember tearing up with happy tears at the s1 finale ^^' really good music! i think the second(?) season ended recently
stellar firma: i've only listened to a handful of episodes, but i've liked what i've heard. sci fi improv comedy that follows the newly made clone david 7 and the mess that is trexel geistman as they try and design custom planets. i think it's currently running but i dunno
rusty quill gaming: also another one that i've only listened to a few episodes of. actual play pathfinder (basically d&d) podcast set on an alternate earth. alex newall (martin's voice actor) is the dm. i've heard really good things from a lot of people! i think it's currently running but again i don't know for sure
right! that's. that's what i got.
i mentioned @/theradioghost earlier (shes behind midnight radio) but i would absolutely recommend looking at her rec list tag! she has impeccable taste
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interrupt me
pairing: finn/poe dameron
fandom: star wars (sequel trilogy)
rating: teen and up
word count: 2502
warning: swearing
summary: Finn wants Poe to be his boyfriend, so badly, it's sort of unbelievable he hasn't asked him already. But he doesn't know how. (high school AU)
(finnpoe week 2020 is here yall!!! so excited for my baby event tbh. annddd here’s my first fic for it, i chose high school au bcus well im cheesy ok. if u want to enter finnpoe week with me you can check out the event blog and my post here!! hope you enjoy this fluffy mess!)
read on ao3
“So?”
When Finn realises this is the only greeting he’s getting from his best friend, he gives her a semi-awkward chuckle, as he always does when he can’t quite figure out what she’s on about.
Very much not the first time.
“So… what?”
And she raises her eyebrows in an offended look.
Offended in the only way Rey can be, because she’s never seriously been mad at him, mind you.
“I can’t believe you.” she simply tells him, opening her locker in the process.
Okay, maybe Finn has an idea of what’s frustrating her. After all, she texted him about it last night. A text he was keen to avoid at that time.
“I got your text, I swear-”
“And you didn’t respond because of the reason I suspect?”
Man, Rey really should be a psychic or something. Kind of freaky how she’s always two steps ahead of him.
Her annoyance did fade slightly when Finn let his defeat show.
“I know, I promised you.” and he tells her while shoving the chemistry book down in his bag, the bell interrupting before he continues, “But, I, uh. It just wasn’t the right time, okay?”
Rey’s shoulders are still tense, she huffs, but ultimately shrugs.
“You also said that after your last three dates, you know.”
He does know. Yes, he knows too well.
Long story short, Finn’s been going out with Poe for nearly three months now. Exactly, pretty Poe, the prettiest person ever in the entire world, probably.
The boy who asked him out after many history lessons of looking at each other in secret, and talks of doing homework together that only resulted in giggling and gushing about Hozier.
Well, Rey thinks it’s about time they became official. Like, officially a couple.
She does this because she loves Finn, and she loves them, and yes, he wants Poe to be his boyfriend, so badly, it’s sort of unbelievable he hasn’t asked him already.
But see, he doesn’t know how.
Or of course, he knows the words, but it’s like, whenever he’s with Poe, his mind implodes and revels in whatever they’re doing, and at the end of the day, he’s none the wiser.
They’re on the way to class, and they’re gonna be late either way, so Finn asks his best friend, “I know. But, you know, what if… I mean, what if he doesn’t want to?”
Rey still looks at him in all her stubbornness, but rubs her shoulder, clearly sensing his worry.
His worry goes deep, because yes, they’ve been going out for three months, but, you know, Poe’s like the star of this school. Star of the student council, if anything.
Finn just can’t help doubting himself. Wondering, Poe’s too good for him, or maybe, Poe hasn’t asked him because what they have, what made him ask out Finn isn’t there for him anymore.
He hopes none of that is the case. But he’s always had a habit of overthinking.
“I love you.” she tells him, a certainty in her voice, tugging on his arm just a bit so they won’t be in real trouble with Ms. Holdo, “And he’s so lost in you. I know it’s scary, but he isn’t asking, and if you don’t ask, nothing’s gonna happen.”
She’s right. So right.
So he links their arms and runs down the hall, figuring it speaks louder than words.
…
Finn finds himself thinking a lot.
This isn’t exactly unusual, but, you know, sometimes he overthinks.
Seriously, he knows he needs to ask Poe already.
But his concerns aren’t crazy, okay?
He’s actually already met Poe’s mom, last month, albeit it wasn’t planned. It was maybe too fast. They’re going fast. Or what?
Rey’s assured him enough times now that three months is a perfectly healthy time to become an item, or whatever you call it.
It’s not like they’re popular. Poe’s got a bit of hype, but he’s not at the top of the food chain.
And you know, reputation isn’t all that matters.
Or he tries to tell himself that, because what if it is to Poe?
Before his best friend made him promise to make the move, as she calls it, she was visibly upset, perhaps more than himself, when the other boy hadn’t asked him first.
Maybe he’s just as nervous as Finn. Like, it’s valid, right?
But also, Poe’s been in a couple of relationships before, and yes, that might not sound like much, but Finn’s never been serious with anyone prior to this.
And he didn’t really think it would bother him until now, where Finn ponders his inexperience, and might be edging towards a mental breakdown in the middle of the history lesson, when said boy on his mind touches his hand under the table.
Yes, Rey was only bitter for a few days when the boys started sitting together, “leaving her behind”, as she called it. But she doesn’t really mind now that Rose transferred, he’s sure.
Finn always thinks Poe wants to borrow a pencil when he touches his hand, or has a question, or something mundane.
But he might be getting used to Poe reaching out just for the sake of the touch, sooner or later.
Only the other boy whispers when Ms. Holdo has her back turned, “You okay?”
Oh, so he can tell. That’s great.
No, really, it’s great, because this boy’s so empathetic, when he’s not fiercely protective, or sarcastically defensive.
Finn wonders if he’s thinking of the same thing.
He actually got started on a question last time, some form of it, anyway, but they were not so generously interrupted by some of Poe’s friends, Jess and Snap, he’s pretty sure. That scared him off. Embarrassing, he knows.
Besides, it was like, ten minutes, and Poe seemed just as embarrassed, and they more or less cheered them on. Lovebirds, they called them.
“Ignore them, please.” the other boy told him, like, a million times. He was so cute blushing like that.
If only Finn hadn’t abruptly chickened out when he tried to get the question, instead distracting Poe with whatever he saw first, which, very fitting, was ice cream.
Man, the other boy eats so much ice cream, he has to admit he’s slightly worried about his health.
He’s got a lot of things to worry about, huh.
“Of course I am.” he whispers back, and fuck, he’s just barely caught when Ms. Holdo turns around, and he’s got this feeling like Poe doesn’t believe him, but the conversation’s over like that.
The boy’s smile is a reassurance. A little bit, at least.
…
Is he avoiding Poe? Or is Poe avoiding him?
Finn doesn’t really know, to be honest.
They haven’t seen each other in, what, four days now, because he’s letting his head get the best of him, and he declined the boy’s offer to accompany him for the football game, instead having another nerve wracking conversation, filled with possible ways his crush could call them off.
Rey probably thinks he’s overdramatic, but she doesn’t say, and spends a good two hours calming him down, because she’s lovely.
It isn’t just a crush anymore, Finn realises.
God, he likes him, so much.
And on their last date, it started raining, like in every cheesy teen movie ever, and when he couldn’t hide that he was freezing, Poe, of course, gave him his jacket.
It’s just too much.
Not long after his phone call with Rey, his roommate returns from the game, and Rose tells him that Poe missed him.
Does that make him feel good or bad?
They text a lot.
Like, late into the night a lot, to a point where his sleep schedule might’ve gone for the worse. He’ll restore it sooner or later.
Anyway, Poe seemed like he had something on his mind yesterday. At least, he was taking a while to answer, and usually, his texts keep flying almost a second after Finn’s replied.
But whatever he felt coming never came. The other boy had to go, that is, and Finn thought, maybe this time, he’ll ask.
Or maybe he was looking for a sensitive way to break up. Shit. He wouldn’t break up with him via text, though, surely? Poe’s respectable. He’s got manners.
Or maybe the world just doesn’t want them to communicate anymore, ever, and will just continue to interrupt them, which is rude and totally unfair.
Even at the library this guy, honestly, he can’t remember the name for his life, but this guy had some issue with a suggestion of Poe’s in the council, which he apparently felt the need to bring up then.
The curly haired boy in front of him gave an, “I’m kind of busy, right now.” three times before the other student, finally, minded his own business.
Maybe Poe thinks Finn doesn’t want him around him anymore after avoiding him. Why does he do this?
He hates conflict. It can die in a pit.
Even though it isn’t a conflict, like his best friend so wisely told him, maybe he’s just a bit stupid, or maybe his worst nightmare is true and Poe doesn’t want anything serious.
His head feels like it might explode.
The girl discarding her shoes shoots him a weird look.
Of course, she can tell he’s nervous, just as much as Rey, or probably anyone else, at this point, but Rose has developed a sense of knowing when Finn needs to be left alone.
So, she brews them both tea and lays down with her headphones on, but not before handing him something cold and metal, which turns out to be a pin.
It’s a tiny yellow sun.
Finn doesn’t have to ask who it’s from, or who he’s hoping it’s from, anyway, because the boy is so utterly cheesy that he’s compared him to sunshine on more than one occasion.
Even more cheesy that Poe got him a gift relating to a stupid nickname. But also, he loves it. Loves it a little too much.
It’s ridiculous.
So he’ll opt to sleep now, tugging Poe’s jacket a bit tighter around him.
…
Poe’s suggested to skip school today, and Rey swears she’ll nag Finn to no end if he doesn’t go along, so here he is.
Of course this boy wants to get ice cream.
And of course he knows a perfect place, as he says, which, surprisingly, is a junkyard filled with old cars, which Finn sees little wrong with.
He’s pretty sure the rich people in this stupid town probably discard these for the newest model. Poe laughs and agrees when he voices his thought.
When they’re side by side on a blue Corvette hood, ice cream and marshmallows long gone, it’s silent, except the other boy’s humming.
Maybe this is the right time. Or the worst time. Wait, he can’t think like that, he should listen to Rey.
Finn might as well get it over with, if the worst case scenario is really gonna happen, right?
And so he decides to open his mouth with his thought along with him, only Poe does the same, and there’s a small cluster of “Hey-”s and “Oh-”s and “Sorry”s.
So maybe the boy has decided to end it on a good note, like a goodbye date.
Could be worse, right?
“I was thinking, uh…” Poe begins, but it doesn’t seem to end, and Finn nods him along, and sits up straighter, maybe it’ll be easier to bite the emotion in him like that.
“Yeah?”
The boy chuckles at himself.
It’s like he doesn’t want to look at him, cause he’s keeping his eyes on his lap, but then, gaze turning towards Finn again and biting his lip.
“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”
And Finn’s ready to deflect, to shrug off the hurt, get up and leave, when, holy shit, what did he just say?
Exactly the thing he wants him to say? Exactly the thing he wants to say? Unbelievable.
He’s got to have a few seconds to process that. Which is probably what makes Poe freak out, because he’s suddenly, almost, taking the words back, “If you think it’s too fast I understand, I-”
“No!” he exclaims. A bit louder than he wanted, alright, good thing this yard’s practically abandoned.
“No, Poe, I really want that. Like, oh my god.”
“Really?”
The nods are eager, and Poe’s smiling so much brighter now. Finn can barely hold himself from copying it.
“But seriously, I thought you’d break up, or I mean, stop our dates or something.”
Now that offended look is familiar, has Poe been spending time with Rey? Could fool him, at least.
He almost gasps, which reminds Finn how truly ridiculous he is, when he’s not keeping up his status in debate.
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” he asks, and yes, is the answer, and Finn can’t help feeling bad, so he tries to make it better by touching his hand, the same way the other boy’s got the habit to in class.
“Yeah, I mean, I thought maybe I wasn’t good enough.”
Now Poe looks distraught, like Finn told him a puppy died or something, and Finn wants to shrug it off, but the boy meets his lips before he gets the chance.
Okay, he would call this a rude interruption, if he didn’t like this so much. He’ll let it slide, just this once.
“Who put that idea into your head?” Poe says, like he’s already out of breath, it’s adorable, “You’re, like, God. Too good to be true.”
And instead of answering Finn continues this cycle of kissing his boyfriend’s lips and cheek and neck, really, they’re a lot better at this than talking.
It’s so much nicer than talking too, but Poe has to finish his sentence, he assumes, “I would’ve asked sooner, you know. But I feel like everyone keeps interrupting us lately.”
It’s like their minds are one, Finn’s sure Rey’s gonna roll her eyes at them after this.
He almost can’t speak when they’re both laughing, and Poe’s touching his face, now, that’s what’ll take up his mind, “Me too.”
Honestly, Finn would let the boy say more, if he wasn’t his boyfriend now, right, so when Poe is starting on a rant of those exact problems, there’s really no other choice than direct him away from the negativity and back to kissing him again, because he loves his voice, but that’s just about enough talking now, he thinks.
“Boyfriend?” and of course, Poe laughs again at that, tipping his head back, but quick to turn his gaze back, because every quirk just makes him even more pretty.
“Yes?”
And he replies, “Can I interrupt you, though?”, not even waiting for an answer before he’s pulling him in for the millionth kiss, it seems, cupping his neck and tugging on his hair.
It’s impossible that Poe can smile even wider, surely, but he does.
“I guess I’ll allow it.”
#mine#my writing#swedit#finnpoeweek20#stormpilot#swcreators#queernet#eloquencenet#star wars#finnpoeedit#usernessa#sabrinasfamily#meghansfamily#fanfiction#sw fanfiction#mlm#tw: swearing#fluff#getting together#implied rey x rose#pov finn#teen and up#usersari#usersthea#<333
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The Mandalorian episode 8 reactions
Spoilers ahoy! In short I liked it a lot and now my brain is desperately trying to process it all haha
- thank god taika waititi knows I needed us to open on two unsympathetic comedy stormtroopers after all the stress last time. (in general this episode was very funny and it needed to be because dang mando is having a Bad Day in this one) that scene did such a good job of hilariously humanizing the stromtroopers but in a way that highlights what kind of people would stay with the empire even after the fall. they’re real breathing humans but they’re also baby-punching fascists and it’s not much of a loss to anyone that IG-11 goes to town on them
- ooooh cara is from alderaan!!! that explains just how deep her hatred for the empire is. (*me thinking wistfully about bail organa, the OG good dad of the star wars universe*) also I say this all the time but she is so cool and beautiful and important and the little ‘oh uh oops’ look she threw down at the baby after blowing that droid’s head of was p r i c e l e s s . too bad she’s staying on navarro while mando leaves :(
- FINALLY name confirmation! I’m going to have to go and fix the spelling for my fics and I don’t even care haha. also pedro pascal is so amazing at making his voice expressive jesus christ you can feel the weight of it just from the small pauses between his words (’mandalorian recruits’ = evil empire speech for ‘children’ I’m assuming so. augh)
- cara SHIELDING HIM WITH HER OWN BODY even though he’s literally still in full armor and her beautiful buff arms are completely unprotected *elmo surrounded in flames gif (ironically)* that might actually be more non-violent physical contact than mando’s had since he was a kid (lol but also ouch). there was something almost sibling-like in the way they huddled together, im hurt
- with that grilled flamethrower trooper baby yoda has officially committed his first unassisted murder! *drying proud tears* they grow up so... well obviously not fast in this case but you know what I mean
as usual the baby was a delight. I mean you know this I know this but it bears repeating basically forever
- you know what in one way it felt a bit too early but in another I really like how they showed mando’s face. I think it’s because that reveal isn’t witnessed by any other characters except IG-11 (who is best boy <3 but also there in the role of a medical practitioner and audience stand-in so it doesn’t count in the metaphor lol) -- it’s entirely meant for us, the audience. the whole season really has been a long journey towards specificity in his character; we open up with him being a faceless, nameless and damn near wordless figure, and then they’ve let us closer and closer to him until... now we have his name and his face both and that probably means we know him better than the vast majority of the characters in the show (which is admittedly not saying much haha). it still leaves a LOT of potential in the interpersonal dynamics within the series, but does something interesting for our view of him (and sets up an interesting possibility for a sort of tension between the two as well maybe?).
it feels weird and too intimate but I think that’s exactly what it’s supposed to do. I’d actually been trying to put this into words before this episode -- I didn’t feel able to write fic for this show until episode 7; before that taking on his POV felt... invasive, almost? awkward? but now it feels like the show has reached a place where we get close enough that it’s starting to be possible. he’s having to become more and more real (because he has a baby he loves and who needs him now and he can’t just dissociate anymore haha)
there’s also something really beautiful if fragile in how it plays out like... for this one moment he needs to allow himself to be made vulnerable (by a droid, no less) and through that act of tremendous courage, even though it confuses and pains him, choose to live. after all he was completely free to shoot IG-11 the whole time and he didn’t. I. Hm. mhm. im trying to figure out what I mean give me a few days to write fiction about it and maybe I’ll get it lol
- the way mando disappeared into himself/seemed to be just... resigned to it all was uh. awful! absolutely awful.
thank GOD all these people around him straight up refused to let him die, at a few points it was almost a feeling of ‘SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME A GRENADE TO THROW MYSELF ON I’M NOT READY TO BE FULLY ALIVE AGAIN BUT I’LL HAVE TO BE BECAUSE I HAVE A LITTLE ONE TO BE A DAD FOR’ (at a few points where it’d be natural if he was triggered he instead seems to want to give the child to someone he thinks is more suited and then a) fight (and probably die but y’know at least he’d get to shoot someone) or b) at least stay with and honor the dead. oof)
- very rude of mando to make a grave for kuiil when he’s not even dead tbh. how unlike our main boy in the helmet to be impolite like that, I’m surprised
(I had so desperately hoped IG-11 at least would survive as a sort of legacy -- a testament to his skill and kindness and wisdom :( )
- I KNEW nothing would get the armorer in her own damn forge :D:D:D she is so incredibly cool and I love her. the way she stands there unshaken despite everything like a pillar of what their culture actually is at the core. and also when she’s like ‘well of course this is your son’ and the camera cuts to baby yoda as if to say ‘as I keep telling you dad’
the mirror of her immovable upright certainty and mando on his knees in front of the pile of dead people’s armor -- an image which makes it feel like this is not the first time he’s been there, right?
mando not enthused at the idea of evil sorcerers tho lol I foresee some trickiness in your future my boy
- of ALL the funny references they had to make sad it had to be the self destruct D: I’ve always had a lot of feelings about droids in star wars so I’m probably going to have to process this a bit. also “I’m not sad” oh honey
- I have only a very vague knowledge about the darksaber (I couldn’t get into rebels sadly despite my love for clone wars), but I do understand that it’s taking the nazi gold comparison they’ve got going on with the beskar and dialing it up to 11, that’s apparently a Big Deal. they’ve done such a good job with gideon in setting up a bad guy who works on several levels -- he wants the thing that’s most important to mando today for what’s implied to be Not very great reasons, he’s a physical reminder of the cultural and personal trauma this series is looking at, and as a remnant of the fallen Empire he’s doing a lot of work as the specter of this sort of lawless unsettled in-between age. good stuff!
- greef karga earned himself a big place in my heart in this one. you might be sketchier than my understanding of horse anatomy, greef, but I love you nonetheless haha. when he starts to drink nervously while they’re trying to get out of the bar & when he’s immediately doing the sales pitch on Navarro once the blaster fire dies down fdkslhfkas. and that “Or maybe he’ll take care of you” shows that there is some real concern and friendship there and it’s so sweet.
- mando carrying the baby like he was carried safely and with love by the mandalorian in the flashback............ damn dude. and he’s an official full time dad now what a time to be alive
- obligatory flamethrower report: do I even need to say it, mando’s flame thrower. must I point out how badly you have been shown up. honestly this has just been embarrassing for us all let us speak no more of it
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Incoming transmission: REN,KYLO/ SOLO, BEN from the planet of CHANDRILA is making arrangements to land on batuu. the THIRTY year old HUMAN is here to become COMMANDER OF THE FIRST ORDER. keep a close eye on them, i hear they can be CRUEL, CONFLICTED, and EMOTIONAL. they have documented that they always bring their CROSS GUARD LIGHTSABER with them. (adam driver, cis male, he/him, heterosexual) // b, 21, she/her, est
hi everyone!! c;
introducing the emo king himself
(also I am v nervous about writing Kylo since he’s such a layered & deep character so bare with me!!!!)
also lots of this is obviously known as its canon already but I figured I would just put a little recap in case! (and tbh towards the end I ran out of steam im sorry)
"With the blood of a scoundrel and a princess in his veins, his defiance will shake the stars."
Born Ben to father Han Solo and mother Leia Organa (named after Obi Wan uwu) As a child, Ben spent most of his time playing with Han’s gold dice or hanging around Chewbacca, who he lovingly called “Uncle Chewie.” As he grew up, Ben learned a lot from those around him, such as strong piloting skills from his father and speeder flying and blaster firing from Chewbacca.
Due to both Han and Leia’s professions, they were often busy, leaving Ben with feelings of abandonment and distance from his parents. He gravitated towards his twin sister, finding a strong sense of family in her. He still loved his parents, despite the distance that had formed between them.
"For many years, there was balance and then I saw Ben. My nephew with that mighty Skywalker blood."
Growing up, Ben was unaware of the truth about who his grandfather was. He was 23 and still had not been told by his mother the connection that the two men shared.
Leia, sensing the force growing stronger within Ben, sent him to her brother, Luke Skywalker to begin Jedi training as part of Luke’s attempt to restore the Jedi Order. It was obvious to Leia that her father and her son had strong similarities and she hoped that Luke would help to keep Ben from turning to the dark side of the force.
Luke too tried to keep Ben sheltered from the truth about his family, which only lead Ben to feel isolated and distant while training under him as well. This allowed for the dark voice of Snoke to work its way into Ben’s mind, connecting him to the dark side.
It was around this time that Ben, now 24, had also found out the truth about his family as one of Leia’s political rivals in the Galactic Senate had let the information out in a very public way. Ben was hurt, and felt betrayed that his own family had kept such a secret from himself and his sister and he had to find out this way.
It was becoming increasing evident to Luke as he observed Ben’s training that the darkness was growing inside of his nephew. Luke went to his nephew's bedroom one evening with the intentions to confront him. Standing over Ben, who was sleeping, Luke was able to sense that Ben had already been corrupted by Snoke who was using his strength in the dark side of the force on Ben. Luke could see death and destruction that Ben would someday bring and therefore, instinctively, Luke drew his lightsaber, with the brief intention to kill his nephew, but did not act on it. However, it was too late as Ben was awoken to his uncle standing over him with a lightsaber raised. Ben was immediately aware that his uncle had been able to look into his mind, and feared for his life knowing the contents within. With panic in his heart, Ben was the one to strike first and ended up using the force to collapse the hut he had been staying in on his uncle. Ben believed that he had ended his uncle’s life there. With anger taking over his judgement, Ben ended up setting the Jedi temple on fire and ended the lives of the students that Luke had been training, crushing the hopes of the restoration of the Jedi Order and granting him the name “Jedi Killer.” Of course, he had spared his sister, who he felt like was the only one who had ever cared about him. The guilt that Ben felt was immediate and strong, and he could only repeat over and over within himself that he had not wanted this to happen. It was the voice inside his head that helped him to cope with the destruction he had caused, telling him to not place blame on himself but rather on his uncle.
"And when you called yourself by that new name, you saw your truth. It represents what you want to do on a deep level. The part of yourself you want to cut away. The part you want to kill. Perhaps someday you will do it. The galaxy will hear that name and see you."
Now, turning to Snoke and the Knights of Ren, Ben changed his name to Kylo Ren. He worked hard under Snoke’s training, wanting nothing more than to be part of the new generation that would bring the dark side to power. Now, all Kylo wanted to do was put his past behind him. The man worked hard to use the emotional conflict within him in order to turn his pain into strength. His only goal was to destroy any last traces of the Jedi.
Ren's destain for and desire to put the light side of himself behind him was a main catalyst in the overall way that Kylo viewed his family and heritage. The man became to idolize his grandfather, wanting nothing more than to destroy the Jedi and crush any light side of the force that was left. He believed too Darth Vader was the true version of his grandfather and that his legacy was a great one except for the error that he made turning towards the light. Kylo felt a strong connection to his grandfather, wanting nothing more than to become the man he was, if not stronger.
Kylo’s search for Luke Skywalker and desire to crush the resistance only lead him to continuously be faced with strong emotions of conflict within himself. He could feel the force awakening once more and knew that things were crucial. However, he still remained conflicted no matter how hard he tried to turn from it. Kylo hated himself for this, wanting nothing more than to be able to give in solely to the dark side and not repeat the mistakes that his grandfather had made.
Things became even more complicated when meeting the scavenger, Rey, who for reasons that Kylo could not grasp, was someone he was simultaneously drawn to and countered by, which was obvious when Rey was able to read into his mind back after capturing her on Takodana.
Crucial Moments:
"I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. And I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?"
The conflict within Kylo was only growing, and to him, it was only making him weaker. Upon seeing his father for the first time in years, Kylo informed his father that he had killed Ben, his past self that he believed was weak and foolish. Despite his father trying to convince him that Snoke was manipulating him, Kylo had let his father know that it was too late for him, the man was already too far gone. Despite Kylo’s father’s pleas for his son to return home to his family, Kylo had a deep feeling within himself in the moment. He felt that this was going to be the moment that he would finally be able to be free from the conflict that was within him, and free from the last bit of his past that he believed was causing him to be so weak. Kylo then murdered his father, the belief that he would then be free of this inner turmoil acting as the drive behind the murder. It didn’t take long for Kylo to realize that the death of his father at his hand did nothing if not complicate the struggle within him. The man was even more conflicted than ever.
There was also the second realization that hit him, that he would have to tell his sister what had happened to their father. Unable to tell her, for fear of losing his lifelong friend and only person who had stood by his side, Kylo told her that it was the resistance who had murdered Han, causing her to search for his murders despite the murderer being right in front of her the whole time.
"I've failed you, Ben. I'm sorry."
Another crucial moment for Kylo was seeing Luke Skywalker once again, after fully committing as Supreme Leader. Clouded by anger, and pain, Kylo ignored signs that the man was not really there, obsessed with the desire to kill Luke to make up for all the pain he felt. Realizing that Luke was not really there, Kylo quickly realized that he had given into his emotions and made a vital mistake. The resistance had escaped and Kylo had let them slip through finger tips. Kylo became aware that day that his emotions might not be under control as he once thought.
Headcanons:
He is still conflicted, he can feel the light constantly pulling him.
Kylo is now regrouping and planning the first order’s next steps on Batuu, where he had got word that rebel alliance members might be occupying & weird things were happening overall.
He is Supreme Leader of the first order and had asked Rey to join him, which she declined.
He is unsure of his connection with Rey and is partially fascinated while also terrified.
more will be added!
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song rankings january - april 2020
only for my bias groups - loona, ateez, gwsn, and h&d - who are the only ones to have a comeback this year :^)
also to note - loona’s mini has 6 tracks, gwsn’s has 4, ateez’s has 5, and h&d’s has 7, not including the intstrumental tracks.
bsides:
1.) gwsn - tweaks ~ heavy clouds but no rain
2.) loona - day & night
these songs are very close in my mind. there’s something almost remeniscent of future funk, which a kinda deep bass that i’ve been extremely fond of recently
3.) loona - oh
4.) gwsn - after the bloom (alone)
these two songs are also basically on the same tier, the only reason why oh is #3 is because yeah gaja 1 2 is so iconic. the rap in after the bloom has major potential to go viral too (it’s literally so so so good pls listen) if groos start the trend but i don’t see it happening yet, idk.
5.) h&d - empty handed
a chill bop. dohyon has a lot more lines in this one, which is nice (im a hangyul stan btw)
i also feel like the vibes suit hangyul’s voice more. he’s being pushed as a main vocalist when that’s not really his strength, but this song fits his range a bit better than their title tracks have.
6.) h&d - toward tomorrow
very similar to empty handed, just more vocally driven? it almost feels like they’re two versions of the same song. but whatever, i like it.
7.) ateez - horizon
8.) loona - ddd
the raps in these two are very different but i love them both sm TT. horizon is just art (hongjoong is deadass one of my favorite male rappers in kpop, like #1 or #2) almost but not quite on the level of after the bloom and ddd’s rap is just cute and catchy af, one of my favorite loona raps in general. horizon’s whole flow as a song is just really nice as well.
9.) ateez - precious
precious’ bgm is just weird af, kind of like h&d’s intro now that I think about it? but i like it, whatever. it’s kinda weird because it has the feeling of being a really artsy song kinda stuck in a pop mode? idk
i also like the feeling that they infuse this song with. like it’s very...idk if motivating is the right word? but this song evokes some sorta weird hopeful emotion that ateez often strays towards that i’m pretty fond of
10.) h&d - good night
she’s cute, not much to report tbh. dohyon also has more lines in this and this concept suits him more than soul, which is nice.
11.) h&d - unfamiliar*
i fully expected to hate this song and i kinda did when it came out but as i relisten i’m coming to appreciate it. it’s not something i’ll listen to a ton
12.) h&d - make me a different person
it’s pretty chill, a little more...i’m not sure what the word is. it’s definitely not trop house but the beat is certainly...bouncy. idk. i have to be in the mood to really enjoy that tbh.
the other weird thing is that the song- and almsot all of their songs now that i think about it- sound super melancholy in tone? but the beat is so bouncy, it’s confusing lol. and not in the kinda tongue in cheek sad lyrics happy beat kinda way, just...the melody or their voices are very...emotional? that’s maybe too much, but i’m having trouble describing it lol.
below here is the slow songs section and im a slow songs anti, sorry
13.) loona - number 1
she’s alright.
14.) gwsn - the aerialist (wonderboy)
the fact that this is their lead bside is like a kick in the jaw i’m personally offended
15.) ateez - star 1117
...not their best, by far.
*unfamiliar was technically a title track but it wasn’t the title for this album so i’m counting it as a bside lol
title tracks:
honestly i’m not a *huge* fan of the title tracks on any of these albums in comparison to others by the same group (for loona, ateez, and gwsn)
ateez - answer > loona - so what > gwsn - bazooka > h&d - soul
intros and outros:
h&d - intro = loona - # > ateez - outro: long journey
of all of these songs ateez’s outro: long journey and star 1117 are the only songs not to be added to my library (and therefore not downloaded). i haven’t figured out h&d yet (so none downloaded atm), but i have all of these songs downloaded except for the aforementioned ateez songs and gwsn’s the aerialist (wonderboy). off the top of my head i’ll probably download the whole h&d album (maybe except soul, idk).
choreo
tl;dr - idk my ranking but soul is last
ateez - answer
im deadass afraid to watch ateez’s choreo because anze (their choreographer) does such an amazing job (my favorites are wonderland and wave) but ateez/kq tend to change the tone or take away my favorite parts of the anze choreo so for my sanity i really can’t watch atz’s choreo. anyways im sure answer is great lmfao
gwsn - bazooka
bazooka is simple and wayyy less intricate than their other title track choreos but i for one appreciate a solid point dance when i see one. the bazooka move is simple, iconic, and very representative of the lyrics so i appreciate it a lot. i’ve missed the iconic and iconographic choreo that kpop used to be famous for
h&d - soul
my main gripe with h&d in general is that hangyul and dohyon are s u c h a weird duo. even though i liked their album wayyyyy way wayyyyy more than i expected i don’t think that they’re very marketable as a kpop duo. duos in general just aren’t great, profit really rolls in at around 5 members, unless you’re 1.) blackpink, or 2.) a subunit of a larger group, and h&d are neither.
another huge complaint (which is basically the same as the first): h&d had like, 60 backup dancers in the mv i swear. are you telling me that not a single one of them can carry a tune??? not a single one. out of 60. there were some cute ones that i noticed in the stage performance. you couldn’t even eke out a sub rapper mbk, seriously?
also it’s very clear that they’re pushing hangyul as a visual, main vocal, main dancer, which is fine ish except there aren’t really enough rap breaks in the song for dohyon to shine like, at all? and he’s kinda always behind hangyul and it’s really noticeable bc there’s only two of them (and their army of back up dancers).
icb i used to be a lowkey dohyon anti and mbk’s treatment has me doing all this. jesus
loona - so what
i’m gonna keep it all the way real. so what feels (and looks, to me) complicated for the sake of being complicated. the girls worked so hard to learn and perform this choreo but to what end? there’s no iconic point dance, and orbits and experienced dancers will find it impressive but it’s not really accessible to the gp?
butterfly hit that balance between complex and iconographic, but i’m not sure about iconic.
//btw, this is my metric for iconic: if you and a bunch of friends who like the same group were told to do a dance move or strike a pose based solely on the title of the song (obviously assuming that everyone has watched the livestages and is a fan, etc) would you all do the same thing? that’s the beauty of the point dance: if a song has a clear point dance, you probably will. whether this is a strength that every kpop song needs is debatable, but it’s definitely important to me, with few exceptions.
there’s probably more i could go into about mv and styling but i think i’ll stop here for now xx
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As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites
Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.
Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)
HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN
"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on
I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep
"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU
They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong
Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood
ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION
SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE
wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-
LOGAN'S HERE
"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg
"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete
"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway
Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though
"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE
"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.
4:17 Patton is adorable bye
"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP
great flick
"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that
YOU HIGH-JOCKED
okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired
WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen
OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT
W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that
"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"
First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY
Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST
"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?
SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.
"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??
"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"
a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene
this is gonna be stuck in my head all day
THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.
god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this
"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?
omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever
THE JUICY STUFF DANCE
"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all
GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him
"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES
pattonnnn did a real good job
THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes
"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)
GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING
WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"
"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst
THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that
JOAN
the forbidden dance
INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES
there u go thomas said it too
haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD
irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides
"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips
REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"
"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO
"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time
Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time
Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good
REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC
That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened
"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create
"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"
gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP
"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed
"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk
the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.
HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*
"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"
"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the
... the deodorant eating ...
DUKEY
The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is
Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.
"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING
LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP
"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man
THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT
what are they doing to him today let him rest
double blow
"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure
"shit"
THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU
"not all thoughts are meaningful"
He's go- no he's back again
THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?
"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?
"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"
"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that
I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter
why did Virgil look like he was about to cry
Patton I love you
Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see
Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie
"you tickle me emo"
"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will
ROMAAAAN
VIRGILS SMILE
"YOU'RE ALIVE"
"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO
"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other
"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.
I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.
that's my point.
All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive
"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it
Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much
"I don't like him" makes two of us
"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy
The m i r r o r it's making me cry
"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside
Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.
"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying
"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him
The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you
I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for
"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break
the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"
Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.
Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect
First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.
"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"
"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"
"Go to bed!" me
no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me
WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH
GAVIN BEST BOY EVER
and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus
THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL
I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.
oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)
#ts spoiler#thomas sanders#sanders sides#sanders sides spoilers#roman sanders#remus sanders#logan sanders#virgil sanders#patton sanders#deceit sanders#ts roman#ts logan#ts remus#ts virgil#ts patton#ts deceit#deceit mention#swearing#tw swearing#dealing with intrusive thoughts#spoilers
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hi there, just saw in the tags that you didn‘t like endgame. would you like to expand on that? i am curious to know other people‘s perspective. personally, i liked it. it has flaws, yes, but to me it was enjoyable. if you don‘t feel like answering, that is fine :) have a great day!
oh wow. you really wanna know? okay, but on your own head be it. :o
i’m just joking, i’ll go easy, or at least give you the digest (a vicious lie) version. if you want to see the full extent of my derision and vitriol, you can go to @lowkeysebastianstan, which is the blog where i’ve tried to limit this too. but to give you the not at all short and not so sweet of it, here goes. (endgame spoilers obviously).
the first thing that really set me off was the ending, more precisely, what steve did. it made absolutely no sense whatsoever, and hit me closer to home than most of my followers here since bucky and steve are my fave characters, and the only ship i really have. now, i never thought stucky would become canon, not even a little, i didn’t even hope for it. sure, the representation would’ve been awesome, but there’s no way marvel could’ve done it justice, so it was just as well it was never gonna happen. what i hadn’t prepared for was to what extreme extent they were terrified of the ship and the effect it would have if they were to let it be even a hint that could be interpreted as some emotional connection between them, for 3 films they’re built bucky up as the most important character in steve’s life, he’s risked his own life to save him, he basically eradicated hydra during wwii fueled by grief for him, he was prepared to die for him in tws, he fought his friends and gave up everything for him in cacw, and then he just? leaves? to be with a woman who died of old age and natural causes after a long fulfilling life with another man and family of her own. who specifically told him to fucking move on in tws? yeah, sure. and do not get me wrong, i adore sam wilson, after bucky, and the real steve rogers, he is by far my fave in the cap verse (saving a few spots for my bp and cm peeps in the mcu, but we’ll get to them), and he is the superior choice to pick up the mantle, no doubt about it. (okay, a little doubt, they teased sebastian with that shield for 8 years, they based bucky on the brubaker storyline where he becomes cap, and so i do feel a little torn bc no matter how happy he must be for his friend, and him and mackie are good friends, he must be a little disappointed? but who knows, maybe they’ll do something with that in the series, which would be stupid af bc that would negate the positive leap in representation, and mackie deserves it too, so who the fuck knows, i’ll probably not be around to keep track anyways, and can you tell im rambling), but for steve’s last words to be to sam? while bucky stands and watch in the background? like??? i could go on in (more excruciating) detail, but that was why i linked the blog, there might be a point or two about this on there.
but that was just the start. all through the movie i felt disconnected and uneasy, they made some really weird choices, but i don’t think it was until nat took the plunge that i knew i had an absolute dud on my hands.
the mcu has done a lot of things right, but their treatment of women is NOT one of them. and oh boy did they go out with a bang. first is the obvious implication, he got to live bc he had “more to live for”, and she didn’t have a family, and ye gods we know she can’t have kids, so why should she live?
(see, if the bw movie wasn’t in the books, i’d completely get it, if it was to give scarjo her life back, and she wanted nat to be good and dead, sure. actually, when i first watched it, that’s what i thought tbh, that the bw movie was cancelled, so. but it’s not, so she will return. and since that the case it’s just fucked up that they yeeted her off the roster. and sure, some of the bw movie was always gonna be set in the past, but tbh? i don’t see much point in prequels for dead characters, you know that whatever happens won’t affect the outcome for the character at all, and i usually find them completely void of meaning. that might just be me though). and of course the fact that she died the same way gamora went didn’t help. (gamora’s death was maybe the single worst thing in aiw, she was fridged, not for the advancement of one man, but for two (thanos and quill) and it.just.shouldn’t.have.worked.thanos.cannot.love! again, mcu and women? not a good match.)
then of course, it comes back to steve and how much he doesn’t give a crap about the people close to him in the present, we never see him care or grieve for anyone but peggy, and he could barely spare two tears for nat before it was all business again. and the rest of the team? i think clint cared a little, and banner threw a chair, but that was it. no memorial, not burial, no nothing, it was like she never existed, and she died saving the world just as much as tony, he couldn’t have done jack shit without the soul stone.
and speaking of women, shuri and okoye? before the trailer dropped i was sure shuri was in this, that we’d get to see her lead in her brother’s stead. i actually did a short lament on this already, here.
carol was terribly underused, after all the oompf about her being there she was barely a blip. but the haircut was fantastic, and the best part of the movie was when she returned at the end.
then there’s nebula and gamora (again). at first i was actually quite pleased that they sort of found a loophole to bring gamora back, but then i thought about it (yes, sometimes i get seduced by the flashy colours too) and yeah. sure. a gamora is there, but she’s void of all the things that makes her interesting and all her development is just gone, everything “our” gamora achieved and experienced is gone, three films worth of arc is worthless. so what then is the point of getting “her” back? i don’t care about this person, i don’t know her. are we gonna see quill just harass her the next film, bc you know, she’s been with him, so why shouldn’t he expect her to just do that now? tbh i wouldn’t be surprised, but now that gunn is back maybe he can save it? not that i’ll be around to keep track though.
then nebula. nvm that time paradox, that’s a whole other fuckfest i’ll get back to, but we had to get to see her get killed too, didn’t we. by her sister, the only person in the world she loves. fucking fantastic, i cannot control my enthusiasm.
and no, cool as it was, the a-force surrounding parker is not enough to bring this home. it was a cool sight though. (see? i can see the good.)
then of course it’s peggy. a woman he knew for a few months back during the war. (sure they knew each other longer, but i’d say, even if you’re very generous, they can’t have spent more than a couple of months in each other’s company, and they kissed once). who they stripped of all character development and autonomy so that steve could go back and get his “damce”. everything she achieved, every good thing that happened to her, her husband, her family, her advancement in shield, all gone. bc steve must have his happy ending, no matter that she told him to move the fuck on in tws, who cares.
and then there’s sharon. yeah, they forgot about her, didn’t they. i mean, i was never really on board with that, the whole aunt/niece thing was a bit too weird for me, and this was way before i shipped stucky, but that doesn’t matter. bc they did that, they had them kiss within days after peggy’s death (oooh, look how he cared for peggy), making it clear that this was the beginning of something. (also marvel and several of the actors treated emily like crap, oh yeah, i remember, doesn’t help either.)
(gods i said this would be short, didn’t i? imagine if i could’ve spent all the words i’ve spent ranting about endgame on my latest chapter? good grief.)
then there’s their so called lgbt representation. 30 seconds of a character that had a total of 60 sconds of screentime in tws lamenting his dead lover? well. i. they wanted credit for that. i just.
then there’s thor. they negated every ounce of development he had in ragnarok, this also goes for aiw, wasn’t happy about that, and made him completely ooc, he just spends his time drinking ab\nd playing fortnite of all things? bold of them to assume that will still be a thing in 5 years, but also? thor? THOR? neglecting his people? his friends? the world? thor? then they of course made him fat, haha, so they could add fat-shaming to the list while they make light and fun of his drinking problems, his grief and his ptsd. awesome. the funniest.
then there’s clint. that they just randomly made a killer? just, like a straight up murderer? okay then. and still nat deserved to die. excellent.
then there’s banner. okay, i don’t think they fucked him up as bad as the others, but it’s still strange he would risk his intelligence to become hulk full time, but you do you.
rocket and rhodey were the best things about this damn disaster, just putting it out there.
then there’s tony. i mean, we knew he was the main protagonist, and im not objecting that, (even if i think it’s really strange he’d be born in 1970) but idk. that was strange’s plan? all that for that? and pepper just went, eh what the hell, just die, i can raise this kid you wanted. (i know, i know, she’s her mom, she cares), but it was just so flat. and idk. i mean, rdj wanted his life back, just as evans, but i’d want to see that switched, that tony get to retire and steve sacrifice himself to save the world. tony could still be the deciding factor in strange’s plan even if steve delivered the coup de grace. at least he cared enough to show an emotion™when peter came back, which was more than steve bothered with. jfc they fucked up steve.
then there’s the time travel. okay, a few things about the 2012 thing. they put him in the elevator, and then, instead of having him just kick the crap out of the agents, they reference hydra!cap? the biggest shitstorm in the comics in the last two decades? like what the actual fuck? then of course there’s the americas ass thing, which, again, that’s steve, cares about his ass but not his friends! (but at least 2012 steve cares about bucky, maybe he’ll save him a couple of years early, back to the future steve will just live out his life knowing bucky is getting tortured somewhere in siberia, good times.) oh! and i guess they have their loophole to get loki back too, great, they’ll probably just forget that he’s not in the main timeline, bc who cares.
and the fun just keeps coming with the time travel. oh they tried with some crap explanation that no one can make sense of, but here’s the kicker. they can’t either, they don’t even want to try, they don’t even agree with each other.
+ +
how did they know to meet up in wakanda or wherever, the dustees? did strange send a memo? not just the ppl in the soul realm or wherever they were, but all the others too, like valkyrie and hope. time and place just magically popped into their heads? and what happened when they all came back? or some came back, bc obviously a shit ton of ppl died at the dusting, like the pilot of a 747 gone? plane goes down and such, ppl really dead. and where do they reappear? where they disappeared? aka those passengers that got dusted comes back mid flight? fun! and what about the ones that moved on in their absence? what happens to the ones that come back when their wives and husbands are remarried, when there’s no place for them in their old lives. did all of peter’s classmates get dusted, or did the rest of the class graduate without him, i must assume that all of those in s:ffh did, otherwise some would be in college by now, yeah?
and that’s another reason their watertight time travel is leaky af, there’s no way to get the logistics to work. the only option as such would have been to go back to 2018 and fix it, to reset time, bc otherwise there are just too many holes, it’s just not possible. but they can’t do that bc then they’ll undo all the things that happen in the future that the characters don’t want to lose, like tony’s kid.
oh, i know, it’s a superhero movie, but im strange like that, i expect a modicum of internal logic in all my movies, the bitch that i am.
okay, im gonna leave it there, ive run out of steam, and i want to gif a set. there’s a few things more, but i think you’ve gotten the gist, that i’m not a fan of this movie and a short (lol, so sorry, nothing is ever digest with me, i should’ve warned you) list of reasons why. honestly this is the first time i’ve really don’t a more general account, ive pretty much stuck to steve and that crapshute, there’s a lot of other blogs that concentrate on the other characters, i’d list a few, but i don’t have it in me rn, pop me a msg if you’re interested, also if you’re interested in some real meta, this rambling rant isn’t something that people should be exposed to honestly.
avengers: endgame was a shit movie and no amount of “he’s worthy” and “avengers assemble” is going to fix that, BUT if you enjoyed it, i don’t think less of you, obviously everyone is different, and i envy the hell out of you, i sorely wish i could’ve liked it too. the russos directed what is by far the best movie in the mcu imo, tws, and they had us all fooled, even if we probably should’ve seen it coming after iron man 4: civil war.
hope you’re having a spectacular day, sorry you had to read this if you did, and and thank you for making mine better, i really had a rant in me needing out. (you’d think i’d run out of hate for this by now, but nah.)
thank you for the ask :)
#whyisitsohardtogetoutofbed#ask#answered#anti endgame#i am sorry#i know it's awfully negative#but you asked#obviously you couldn't have been prepared for this though#so i am i bit sorry#lisa's crap#oh look a new tag#i refuse to keep tagging for spoilers#if you've still not seen it idk what to tell you#also the read more should be enough
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Every question!!
SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS
LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO
1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!
2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess
3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark
4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that
5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀
6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general
7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so
8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale
9: My best first date: :))))))) as if
10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4
11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig
12: What time were I born: 12:19
13: Favourite color: pink!
14: Do I have a crush
15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”
16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too
17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol
18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont
19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO
20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh
21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s
22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special
23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk
24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels
25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety
26: Meaning behind my URL:
27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD
28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)
29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh
30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry
31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily
32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)
33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired
34: Favourite holiday:
35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it
36: Tattoos and piercings I want:
37: The reason I joined Tumblr:
38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?
39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?
40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no
41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday
42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes
43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months
44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada
45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would
46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears
47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah
48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah
49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always
50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh
51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so
52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so
53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb
54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol
55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend
56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7
57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?
58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”
59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind
60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname
61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online
62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so
63: Do I believe in magic? i think!
64: Do I believe in luck? yeah
65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!
66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class
67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic
68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot
69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget
70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now
71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no
72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter
73: Favourite animal? cats or otters
74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT
75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!
76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀
77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2
78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh
79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word
80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked
81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE
82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?
83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading
84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”
85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO
86: Had sex? no
87: Bought condoms? no
88: Gotten pregnant? NO
89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year
90: Kissed a boy? :(((
91: Kissed a girl? no
92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no
93: Had job? I have a job rn so
94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school
95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?
96: Had sex in public? virgin squad
97: Played on a sports team? yeah
98: Smoked weed? no ew
99: Did drugs? no ew
100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW
101: Drank alcohol? yep
102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die
103: Been overweight? i’m twig
104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small
105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring
106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday
107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?
108: Been outside my home country? ONCE
109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !
110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!
111: Broken a bone? no
112: Cut myself? not technically
113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD
114: Been in airplane? once
115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch
116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI
117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty
118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now
119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good
120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way
121: Had oral sex? as if
122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh
123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY
124: Rode in an ambulance? nope
125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old
126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small
127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?
128: Peed outside? yes
129: Been fishing? YES
130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so
131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly
132: Broken a mirror? no
133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff
134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly
135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit
136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!
137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels
138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that
139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal
140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!
141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee
142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,
143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot
144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT
145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it
146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all
147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed
148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school
149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument
150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition
151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care
152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official @ace-landofthesun @dorkalisious and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls
153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that
154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !
ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye
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50 Questions Tag
uwu i was tagged by @mias97! thanks sweetie!
ill put this under a read more because its pretty long :’)
1. what takes up too much of your time? homework and classes :’)
2. what makes you day better? being able to talk @felegs easily makes my day 110% better
3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today? i got to play dnd with my friends today and thats always one of my day’s biggest highlight on sundays
4. what fictional place would you like to go? uhhhh i wiukd kive ti hope into the world of the Night Circus? like circuses popping up suddenly and randomly and showing cool magic?? i love
5. are you good at giving advice? i am yeah im a very motherly psyc major with too much experience under my belt so im usually really great at helping people
6. do you have any mental illness? i do yes~
7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no luckily god i cant imagine ever going through that
8. what musician inspired you the most? Garret Rapp and Tablo
9. have you ever fallen in love? i have yeah
10. what’s your dream date? night time beach or park adventure
11. what do others notice about you? my motherly nature :’) i’m always immediately told how kind and uplifting i am upon meeting people
12. what is the annoying habit you have? i tend to bite on my lip or tug on my piercings way too much
13. do you still talk to you first love? god luckily not i hope this answer never changes
14. how many ex’s do you have? .....six? official ones? but also 3 of them i dated 2-3 times it was v toxic and like 4 of them really fucked me up emotionally so~~~
15. how many songs are on your playlist? usually range between 6-10 because thats how long it typically takes me to shower and thats the only reason i make them but my longest currently is 337 because its my high school throwback one lmao
16. what instruments can you play? guitar!
17. who do you have the most pictures of? my dog lmao
18. where would you like to go before you die? Seattle, Washington, Boston, Massachusetts, Florence, Italy again and Athens, Greece
19. what is your zodiac? capricorn
20. do you relate to it? oh definitely sadly im very stereotypical for my sign :’)
21. what is happiness to you? not to be like... cliche? but im most happiest when the people around me are safe and happy
22. are you going through anything right now? mmmm im struggling a lot with school and mental health but? thats life i guess?
23. what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? i??? dont know??? i have a lot of shit i really regret saying/doing but i dont know which would be considered my worst decision? actually no i know its having given my mom a second chance to be back in my life when i was in high school
24. what’s your favourite store? mmmm bath and bodyworks. im a big slut for candles and they have many
25. what’s your opinion on abortion? im pro choice man its your life no one else should dictate what you do with it
26. do you keep a bucket list? kinda? yeah i guess lmao
27. do you have a favourite album at the moment? Dawn by The Rose and 4 Your Eyez by J. Cole
28. what do you want for your birthday? ideally? to see vivi. realistically? to get drunk and just forget about responsibilities for a bit
29. what are most peoples first impression of you? super kind and attentive lmao
30. what age do you seem according to most people? either 12 or 21
31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? in my hand near my ear because i cant sleep without music but i also try to keep my music low enough that my roommate wont hear it
32. what word do you say the most? interesting
33. what’s the oldest age you would date? probably like 25??
34. what’s the youngest age you would date? 18? 19?
35. what job/career do most people say would suit you? psychology, teaching or being an editor
36. what’s your favourite music genre? probably rnb or hiphop/rap
37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? as much as i absolutely hate this country, id probably want to stay in America
38. what is your current favourite song? Glue by Planetarium Records or I’ll Still Have Me by CYN
39. how long have you had this blog for? this blog I’ve had since June
40. what are you excited for? going home and seeing my dog next month :’)
41. are you a better talker or listener? oh definitely listener
42. what is the last productive thing you did? .....i studied thursday morning for the exam i had that day??? i took this weekend off form college and avoided almost all my responsibilities tbh
43. what do you want for christmas? ideally? a rat. realistically? i dunno i asked my aunt to buy my Tablo’s two books and Ikon’s Return album so?
44. what class do you get the best grades in? English courses in general but I’m currently getting the best grades in my Social Influences class
45. on a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? probably like a 4? ive been getting really shitty sleep lately and i think its finally catching up to me and i have a bunch of homework and studying to do so :’) im feeling like crap
46. what can you see yourself doing in 10 years? hopefully graduating with my psyd and working at a hospital in seattle?
47. when did you get your first heartbreak? mmmm probably when i was in 7th grade? that year was real rough and just had back to back heartbreak in romantic and platonic senses lmao
48. at what age do you want to get married? lmao never i don’t want to get married i don’t see a point in it and also the thought of being that fully committed scares the absolute crap outta me
49. what career did you want to have as a child? this is gonna sound weird but from 5-8th grade i really wanted to be a homicide photographer???
50. what do you crave right now? sleep but also caffeine and attention :’)
i dont really,,, have the spoons to think of people to tag lmao so for today, im not gonna tag anyone. if you see this and wanna do it then feel free to tag me but i leave my usual bunch alone for tonight lmao
#uwu thank you for tagging me!!#this was... a lot lmao#theres a lotta info about me on this wowow#i meant to post this earlier today but i knew it was gonna take me too long to do before dnd#so i decided to just wait until i got home#and now here we are lmao#tagged
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REQUESTS OPEN
Hello, I dont really know how tumblr works but I have officially READ THROUGH ALL MTLS AND SCENARIOS OF LIKE EVERY GROUP, so my lonely ass is now making my own! Feel free to give suggestions and groups youd like to see! I will actually do anything that's legal I kid you not-
How I feel BTS would be like in bed.
JIN
OKAY HEAR ME OUT, I feel like he'd be a soft dom or switch with a top lean, he'd be the type to please you, if you had a kink hed definitely try it out, say you had like a biting kink, I feel like he would 100% do it, however hed ask if you're okay like every 5 seconds, am I saying hes vanilla? Absolutely not, far from it, I GUARANTEE hes into the sub dom stuff, I dont see him as a very big sadist but hed be into choking and spanking, and lots of it. If you wanted to ride him, hed control your hips as a way to stay in control. But when I say soft dom I mean like "cmon baby, hold it just a little bit longer." Type of soft dom, not vanilla, stuff like orgasm denial is also something hed be 100% into
YOONGI
OKAY TIME TO TUCK MY SOFT YOONGI STAN FAR AWAY. I can confidently say hes 100% a top, no switch top lean, nope, hes. A. Top. I would say hes more into bdsm and kinky sex compared to jin, this motherfucker is the type to finger you as you're on his lap under the blanket at the bts movie night, did I mention? Public humiliation, yes. HEAR ME OUT ON IT, hes into the sub dom stuff, so if you're being bratty in public, say a park for example, hed take you away from everyone to like a bush or something IDK and fuck the shit out of you, holding his hand over your mouth as he whispered in your ear to stay quiet. DIRTY TALK is a must with him, I see him as a sadist in some ways, you know? So bdsm is a must, spanking, toys, etc.
HOSEOK
Another soft stan DAMNIT, OKAY WHY DO I FEEL LIKE IM COMMITTING A CRIME BY WRITING THIS FOR BABY HOBI. ANYWAYS.
I see him as a switch for many reasons, such as his duality, we ALL know how bts is with duality, hobi has a gift for it in my personal opinion. He could be a bottom or a top, however there is no in between, you either get a cute bottom, or a kinky hard ass top. I feel hed be more vanilla as a bottom (and let's be real, he would only bottom for yoongi) hed be into spanking, and mabye choking but I see him more vanilla as a bottom. AS A TOP HOWEVER- hes definitely S A D I S T I C, he would choke you till you almost pass out, and fuck you until you're on your 10th orgasm and crying(yoongi would do that too tbh-) he could be a soft dom too, kinda like jin but not as soft. Hes like the type to keep things on the down low, if others are around the most you'll get is a kiss, if you acted up he would be the type to pin you against the wall and choke you while leaving dark hickeys on your shoulder.
NAMJOON
I just turned on my music so hang on tight for this one.
Namjoon is a hard dom, and he wont be soft for anyone, he is into countless kinks, I cam name at least 10 off the top of my head, bdsm, orgasm denial, ddlg, pda, choking, spanking, overstimulation, oral, biting(marking) temperature play, YOU NAME IT, HE WILL DO IT, I can see him having a room in his house dedicated to bdsm and sex, hed blindfold and tie you up, and probably pour hot wax to melt on you. I feel like this sadistic bitch would be turned on by begging and crying, he would fuck you from behind up against the wall until you physically cant stand, as your legs shake, hed order you to stay standing. Hed fuck you until you're on the floor gasping for air. He also would have like a little bit of a dollation kink (I think its called that) not all of it but hed wanna be in control whether it is in bed out just in general (also I feel like hed be into much more then I put but that stuff is WELL)
JIMIN
good lord UHM, it's hard to say exactly what his position would be, I see him as a switch, but preferably a top, regardless he wouldn't be a vanilla bottom or top so- his main turn on would be oral, we ALL know he would use his tounge alot, hed be the type to go down on you and hold your hips down so you cant pull away as you feel close, and if you tried hed punish you and deny every last orgasm till you're in tears and begging so like- he is sadist number 3 on our list, I feel like hed be more into mental sadistion like joon is into physical, hed be more into degrading you till the point you feel like his worthless fucktoy you know? As a bottom he would be a braT like he is definitely a power bottom, he'd take alot to tame but if you managed to then well he would be the best sub EVER.
TAEHYUNG
okay WE ALL KNOW HE HAS AN ASS KINK, WE ALL KNOW HE HAS A SPANKING KINK, WE ALL KNOW HES A TOP, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO DENYING IT (okay switch top) but like the fact there is compilations of him spanking the other members really speaks for itself okay? Like he has a thing for asses. While you make out his hands would be on your ass, caressing it. He also doesn't care who is around, he will put you over his knee and spank you (*cough cough* jimin at isac) but on the less ass revolved side of things, I don't see him as vanilla but I dont see him as kinky as joon or yoongi, but not as soft as jin. Like right in between them is where he stands, hes into light bdsm and he is always careful.
JUNGKOOK
I feel like I'm actually committing a crime here, I'm a soft bts stan but I'm an EXTRA soft jungkook stan, cries in girl group hard stan>.<
ANYWAYS WE HAVE ANOTHER SWITCH, dont hate me junkook hard stans but I see him with a bottom lean, YES HE HAS HIS TOP MOMENTS, but they are usually on stage during certain songs, how he acts in like bts run is like an actual innocent child so- I also see him as slightly more vanilla because he didn't have much time for experience before bts, like he spent his years where most expeirement in training so- However I feel hed be open to learning and finding his kinks, this is also my reason for saying hes more of a bottom, overall its lack of experience. I'm not saying he will be a bottom forever because we all know damn well he wont, one day hell suddenly turn the tables, same goes for kinks, he will learn and gain experience, along with kinks and topness (is that a word lmaoaoa) he will do anything to please you so as hes inexperienced I call him a bottom lean cause he tries to top but like- but yes I see him eventually being into kinky sex and being a top, hes just too inexperienced.
OKAY GUYS PLEASE DONT BASH ME FOR SPELLING ERRORS ITS ONE AM LMAOAO BUT I HOPE YOU LIKED IT AND IF SOMEONE COULD TELL ME HOW THIS APP WORKS THATD BE GREAT, ALSO PLEASE LEAVE SUGGESTIONS
I love you all baiiii
#kpop#bts mtl#bts senarios#bts imagines#bts texts#bts jimin#bts suga#bts jhope#bts jin#btsv#btsrm#btsjungkook#bts romance#bts memes#bts crack#kpop roleplay#namjoon x you#jungkook#bts ff
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I agree with that post about the criticism of TLJ vs other films. What did you think of TLJ overall?
oh my god an anon asking me my opinion this is the most exciting thing thats ever happened to me
ok but for real though here we go buckle down folks this is probably going to be long as hell
overall like many Star Wars fans I was unfortunately a bit disappointed with tlj and was shocked with the direction that rian johnson decided to go with both the characterizations of our faves and the plot (both of which I’ll get into in a sec). however this doesn’t mean that this was a BAD movie. I enjoyed the film. yes I said it. I have many major critiques but while I was sitting there watching it, there were moments that I felt deeply for the characters, moments that I wanted to jump out of my seat, and the ending built up to a promising looking sequel that I’m definitely going to watch and tbh thats all that really matters in a movie.
now on to all the parts I didnt like lmao
as for the characterization of most of the main characters, the ones that stuck out to me the most and the ones I’ll get into here are Luke, Poe, Hux, and I want to talk a little bit about Rose. Luke is the one that hit me the hardest because Luke is the OG. everyones number one. LUKE MOTHERFUCKING SKYWALKER. now, my main complaint is the same one that most other people have, he’s too pessimistic and his actions at his Jedi school just dont make sense in the context of his character. how could the person that couldn’t even kill Darth Vader raise a lightsaber to his own nephew? who hadn’t even really done anything yet? as what, a preventative measure? when kylo ren was the first to tell this story in the movie I was like theres no fucking way hes bullshitting but when it turned out to be true???? I was literally taken aback. Luke’s explanation for it as a split second thought was the only way to bring this to the very edge of my believability, but even then, it was very difficult for me to wrap my mind around the character whose whole being is based on forgiveness and finding a way when all hope is lost even thinking about doing something like that and then just giving up when all of it is over. I was actually talking about this moment with my brother (we had a two hour long conversation about Star Wars after he watched the movie that I will also reference when I start talking about Rose) and we both agreed that this moment was a bit forced. he put into words something that I was trying to say all along and it made so much sense, in the movies they were trying to show how kylo ren’s sense of distrust and his anger towards Luke and his family came to be and instead of doing it right by showing it happening in small, subtle actions they decided to just have one huge obvious physical manifestation of betrayal and tbh it was lazy and bad characterization and thats what all the fans saw when the saw the movie and what mark saw when he first read the script
sorry that was long now on to my homeboy poe
I honestly feel like poe was demonized too much in this movie and made to look like some kind of lost kid playing soldier and it really annoyed me ??? like he was one of the top commanders of the resistance and to just have him completely thrown to the wayside like this in this movie just felt like …. why was he even in it? to get everyone killed? same with Finn and rose and honestly while I’m here let me talk about her too since I was going to bring her up later. I might get hate for this but rose honestly felt like a filler character to me. I just dont get any type of differentiation from her than from the rest of the resistance other than the fact that she now has a bit of a backstory. theres nothing particularly interesting about her character. shes just there. I feel like she had a lot of potential and it was just kind of wasted. I also thought the kiss at the end with Finn was ULTRA forced. like they were fine as friends but there was no romantic undertone until that moment like where did it come from and why? it was just there all of a sudden. now heres where my brothers commentary comes back into play because he really enjoyed tlj. he thought the romance was necessary and that it worked. keep in mind this is a straight, single, 25 year old man thats never been in a long term relationship. I think this has a lot to do with how people of different perspectives interpreted this movie. what does everyone else think because so far, on my dash everyone has been SILENT on that kiss. keep in mind im a kylux blog so I follow a lot of that side of the fandom but I do follow a few light side blogs too although many are caught up in the reylo stuff. I really dont think a romance arc is necessary at all but if its put in I want it between characters that actually have good romantic chemistry like Finn and poe or maybe Finn and Rey im holding out for kylux but I know its not happening lmfaooo
anyway onto the last person I want to talk about my cupcake domhnall
now hux hasn’t played a very big roll (seemingly) in the series so far and it was great to see him on screen more in tlj but good god at what cost. in the first movie he was calm cool and collected, a respected general that took shit from no one, and in this he was the joke of the movie taking hits from cringe-worthy jokes and just generally looking the opposite of what he did in tfa. it was honestly kind of hard to see because hux was one of my favorite characters in tfa and domhnall is one of my favorite actors (if you cant tell by my blog) and its just going to be weird to see where they pick him back up again in episode 9
oh my god I just realized I only talked about the characters and haven’t even gotten to the plot yet go grab some popcorn or something I have a lot more to say
first I want to talk about how this movie was set up as a whole. it was separated into three different storylines from the very beginning, Rey and Luke on the island, the resistance’s fight with the first order, and Finn and rose’s plan to invade the first order by themselves. I didn’t like this because it just made it feel too messy and very long. this whole movie was supposed to take place over a matter of a few days, but as it was jumping back and forth, it would be on a scene with Rey and then it would jump back to the resistance and I would be like damn theyre STILL doing this. tlj was a decently long movie but sitting there it felt like it was three hours+
In addition to that, I feel like a way they could have avoided this would be to cut out Finn and rose’s part, include them with the rest of the resistance instead of giving them a side plot that was doomed to fail from the start, and work with that. I really dont understand why it was necessary to separate them at all. their plan didnt work, they got most of the resistance killed in the process, there was no solid reason for them to go on this little adventure other than what? character development? if thats your excuse there are better ways to do it
ok this is the part that I was 1000000000% confused about. Carrie’s death. they had it. they literally had a scene with her dying. they had it ???? and then they Jesus’d her back to life ??????????? I was sitting in that theater WASTING MY TEARS because KYLO FUCKING REN COULDNT PULL THE TRIGGER AND THEN MY MOM DIED and then she lived ?????????? I have honestly never been so confused in my life. if I could have a time machine I would go back to that moment just so I could see the look on my own face because I know that shit was ridiculous. how the fuck is jj going to deal with this in the next movie though? rian LITERALLY had a scene with carrie dying in it. USED IT IN THE MOVIE. said nah fuck jj abrams he can figure this shit out on his own. and brought that bitch back to life. like honestly how much do they hate each other because I really didnt understand the magnitude until I watched that scene.
I cant think of anything else major I want to talk about right now but this is already ridiculously long anyway so if anyone has any questions they want to ask me my ask box and messages are always open!
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