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wistfulrat · 3 years

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this week’s fics! feat. bakeries, bookshops, bisexual awakenings of the angsty and fluffy sort, wolfstar goddads being tender as hell, desi harry reconnecting with his culture, domestic drarry, a lap dance set to akon’s smack that, and more!

But That’s History by @ebbet - 54k - T Harry Potter starts his first year as Muggle Studies Professor only to find that Draco Malfoy has been hired to teach History of Magic.

listen to me. this is one of the funniest drarry fics i've ever read. i was cackling in my bed at 2am because harry’s internal monologues throughout this fic are unhinged. insanely quotable. “what was he, a lothario” and “you were crushing me with your muscular thighs!” are lines that live rent free in my empty head. harry has never played anything cool a day in his life. there’s a faculty meeting where the teachers are planning the yule ball and debating the merits of a DJ when harry decides he must defend his muggle-music-loving honor by dancing seductively to akon’s smack that while a blushing draco loses his mind. i fucking screamed. and the best part is that in between the comedic scenes threading the overall story, you have extremely tender moments of like, padma patil helping harry become a more rooted desi by sharing their cultural traditions, harry proudly donning his sherwani. draco wrestling with his past, going to harry’s lgbtq+ club for students, being sheepish with ron and hermione. ugh, comedic writers with emotional depth are clever and talented as hell!!

Realities, Unfurling by @ebbet - 45k - M Draco Malfoy is released from Azkaban into a changed world.

incredible collage-fic told from multiple povs. 8yrs post-war and everything’s changed. the current state of the magical world unfolds via slice-of-life snapshots from a truly stunning cast. non-binary harry whom is running a non-prof org dedicated to building tolerance and establishing equality for marginalized identities. post-prison-release draco whose life will be changed by the internet. neville’s tender relationship with blaise. andromeda’s fiercely protective mothering. remus and sirius being alive and very hot and just, the tender goddads harry deserved. cho chang being brilliant. baker pansy’s softened edges. found families abound. harry being flustered by their crush on draco and making personalized playlists on an iPod nano.

that all might sound narratively cluttered but the author more than pulls this off. glorious, start to finish.

Knead by @jovialobservationanchor (an @hd-erised fic) - 83k - E This is not a story about Harry renovating Grimmauld Place. This is a story about coffee shops and brewpubs, about Ginny and Luna on a farm with creatures, about magical Oregon, coastal road trips, flying, friendship, and Draco Malfoy's lean arms.

cinematic. a love letter to oregon’s expansive landscapes and lively cities. it’s harry finding home in unexpected places and people. in the vast silence of rolling fields, endless coasts, and starry night skies big enough to feel like you’re adrift in space. and it’s also the lingering, intimate quiet of early mornings in a bakery, sitting on a park bench overlooking the city as you eat ice cream next to your crush. it’s harry watching ginny and luna dance and work around each other like bees. it’s the slow unfolding of harry and draco’s relationship as they fill each other’s quiet. finishing this fic is like waking from a good dream. transporting, immersive, lovely.

Harry Potter and the Bisexual Awakening by @writcraft - 20k - E Harry is perfectly content being single, heterosexual and living in Godric's Hollow with his very clingy rescue dog, Snitch. When Draco Malfoy turns up on Harry's doorstep demanding that Harry teach him how to drive, things quickly become a lot more complicated.

first of all, i feel very seen by draco being a gay-who-can’t-drive. it’s called representation. but mostly i love the ease of harry and draco’s banter, a flustered harry discovering his sexuality, and the way this fic addresses biphobia. also very emo over this exchange: “I think I might be scared of you, but probably not for the reasons you think.” “Yes.” Draco stares at Harry. “I think I might be scared of you too.”

Forged through flowing water by @tedahfromtayla (an @hd-erised fic) - 40k - E When Hermione sets up a diplomatic mission to begin repairing the damage British colonisation did to Indian magical communities Harry isn’t going to pass on the opportunity to visit and help his family’s home country. Maybe he should have asked a few more questions about the personnel she had recruited for it before signing on because Malfoy surely has an ulterior motive to be there.

so much to love about this fic. the beautiful settings, from kolkata to mumbai, to the holi festival and colorful lively streets, to remote cave settlements and old intricate temples. it’s harry in the homeland, reconnecting to his family’s heritage and confronting the weight of imperialism in his history. it’s nipping the white savior complex in the bud. this part: That is what England left behind. That is what it still stands for, despite whatever mask of respectability and honour it presents. . .You don't get to step aside and let someone else deal with the mess. You have to listen and learn and then act, Malfoy, you need to learn how to fix your own mess. This is why we're here. my indigenous ass cheered. HP certainly sells the british fantasy but HP fanfic?? fuck jkr, fuck the crown. i love that this fic doesn’t romanticize england’s history. i love that we get to see the vast resilience and beauty of post-colonial india.

Purity Control by yrfrndfrnkly - 28k - T In which Harry tries to ignore his trauma with fantasy Quidditch but Malfoy's Thereness™ is distracting and all his classmates want to talk about are unicorns, virginity, and Muggle music.

tender 8th year fics where they go from bristly as fuck to understanding and soft 100% guaranteed to make me emo as hell. all the teens have traumas and no one wants to talk about it but eventually Things are Talked About. it’s good of the adults to finally notice. everyone just wants someone to hold their hand. and this part: “You’re the only person around here who’s a bigger mess than I am.” “I thought maybe we could be a mess together,” pls don’t look at me as i weep over their gentle empathy.

Advent, a comic by dustmouth - WIP - T It's Harry and Draco's first Christmas together and Draco is determined to live his full yuletide fantasy, come hell or high water.

dustmouth, patron saint of whimsical drarry. whose illustrations singlehandedly reinvented wizarding fashion. whose cheeky and tender comics are like a soothing balm to the utter depravity of this carnal world. harry and draco being domestic, draco’s xmas spirit brand being “traditional unhinged”!! extremely my shit. we’ll absolutely be reading this all december.

Little Spaces by @dracoladon and @lazywonderlvnd - WIP - E Draco's back from France and working on the spell damage ward at St Mungo's with Hermione, who invites him over for dinner. Without telling Harry. This is a roleplay, which means Harry is written by one author (lazywonderland) and Draco by another (dracoladon).

the switch in distinct character voices works so well for this fic!! tonally i feel like i'm watching an episode of the office. i personally love harry and draco being Pissed Off at how much they want to bone each other. the battle of the tapenade was the most riveting dinner scene i've read in a minute. clever, hilarious, emotionally tense. can’t wait until that inevitable moment post hate-sex when they’re gonna be like “oh noooo it’s a Heart Boner as well!! >:((” hell ya we’re subscribing for chapter updates.

Dragons Don’t Know Paradise by @teacup-tai - WIP - E In 2004, when Remus spends two scary weeks in the ITU due to complications of pneumonia and his HIV condition, Sirius walks around the house like a ghost and Harry finds comfort and strength in Draco through a chat in an online LGBT forum. Harry falls for him, but Draco has a lot of secrets and, before long, will need to come clean—even if he believes that no one is able to understand a dragon.

non-magical bookshop AU. remus and sirius’ relationship is a marvel. the ease of their affection with harry makes me so emo. draco’s friends being insistently present even as he tries to isolate himself. this is a story about acceptance, found families, and falling in love at a distance. the intimacy, the longing, the tenderness. what a fic!! i keep coming back to this part:...he looks at ease, inside his body, a body he needed to fight for. He’d made peace with his struggles and his scars. And Draco realises he wants that. He wants to be at ease inside his body, the body that now carries a virus. He wants to be at peace with his own existence. you hurt for draco so deeply but you get moments like these where he affords himself a kindness that feels foreign and it’s just!! the boys navigating grief and learning to be vulnerable. so good.

#drarry fic rec #drarry #we live and die for desi harry aka hari poddar bc fuq jkr #a lot of soft drarrys this week but in my defense ive been reading hella angst and my depression was not finding that cute #weekly drarrys

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justcallmefox89 · 4 years

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Truth or Dare Part 4

The birthday sleep over has completely fallen apart, Mammon and Levi are at each other’s throats, Arianthi backslides into old thoughts and dangerous habits, and Diavolo offers her comfort.

Some good old fashioned angst and NSFW content: Language, blowjob, penetrative sex, face riding, unprotected sex.

Remember everyone, consent is key. Being open and honest with your partner and making sure you’re both on the same page is the sexiest thing you can do for one another. Also - practice safe sex mmmkay? :)

TW: body image and self esteem issues, eating disorders.

Written from the perspective of my female character Arianthi.

I’m adding a different mood playlist to each installment of this series, just songs that I listened to while writing and feel embody each part of the story.

Foxy Shazam - Count Me Out

Callum Scott - Dancing on My Own

Meg Myers - Desire

Hozier - Movement

Jess Benko - A Soulmate Who Wasn’t Meant to Be

“Arianthi! Arianthi! Open the damn door!” Mammon pounds on the door to Arianthi’s room, unable to open it.

“Screaming at her to open the door after you’ve just insulted her on her birthday probably isn’t the best way to get her to let you in Mammon,” Lucifer says coldly.

“I doubt she’d let you in anyway, scumbag,” Satan adds, an angry growl in his voice.

Mammon opens his mouth to snap back, then closes it, unable to come up with a retort.

“Stupid Mammon can’t even defend himself this time,” Asmo mocks. “You just blew whatever shot you had with Arianthi straight to hell.”

Mammon looks at the floor, ashamed. “I didn’t mean it. She’s got to know I didn’t mean it, I was just so.....”

“Jealous? Stupid? Idiotic? Pick a description because they all fit. Newsflash, even a shut in otaku like me knows like you can’t treat the girl you supposedly care about like shit and then expect her to still like you.” Levi glares at Mammon and then tries the doorknob again, agitated.

The door still doesn’t open and he can’t hear any movement inside her room.

Beel looks around worriedly. “She never locks her door. Ever. She always leaves it open so I can go in and get the snacks she keeps for me. And Luke said she might be sick.”

Belphie shares his concern. “Do you think we should have Beel break the door in? In case she’s too sick to answer and needs help?”

For the first time since Lilith, Lucifer looks to be at a loss. Concern for Arianthi and the urge to comfort her battles with his desire to protect her privacy.

Diavolo steps forward to pass a hand over the door and sighs. “It wouldn’t matter if he did. She’s warded the door against us.”

The brothers share a look of surprise.

Mammon is the first to recover his voice. “Where would she even learn ward magic? And why would she start using it now?”

“I taught her.” The demons turn to look at Solomon, who has walked up behind them. “And as to why she’s using it, I’d venture to guess that Mammon’s little attempt to shatter her self-confidence worked, and she doesn’t want to see any of you right now.”

Mammon flushes with shame. “I didn’t mean any of it,” he mutters.

“Then you shouldn’t have said it.” For the first time a sharp tone enters Solomon’s voice.

“Take down the ward,” Lucifer orders him.

Solomon moves to stand in front of Arianthi’s door. “No.”

Lucifer’s eyes gleam red, anger rising. “You may be a powerful sorcerer Solomon, but I am one of the seven lords of the Devildom and I will rip your heart out of your chest without hesitation. Open. The. Door.”

“No.”

Lucifer lunges forward, already shifting to his demon form.

Diavolo stops him with a strong hand on his shoulder. “I know you’re all worried, but maybe Solomon is right. Maybe we should respect her privacy. She’s put up the wards for a reason.”

Levi pushes forward and knocks softly on the door. “Arianthi? It’s me. Can I come in?”

Silence.

“Please Arianthi?”

The demons and Solomon all hear movement behind the closed door and Arianthi’s voice whispering. There’s a soft click and the door opens. Arianthi’s hair has been pulled back into a messy ponytail, her make up removed. A t-shirt that is clearly Beel’s hangs to her knees, over it she wears one of Levi’s hoodies, and a pair of Belphie’s sweats peek out beneath the over sized shirts. She’s obviously been crying.

Something sharp and painful twists in Mammon’s chest. I did this. I made my human cry. I was stupid and jealous and I fucked up. I need to make this right. He moves quickly towards the open door, attempting to push past Levi.

“Arianthi, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean -”

Arianthi holds up a hand to cut him off. “Just Levi.” Her voice is soft and hoarse.

Levi slips past Mammon and into the room. Arianthi shuts the door behind him and whispers the incantation to once again ward the door.

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Levi follows me and we both take a seat on my bed, leaning up against the headboard, shoulders touching.

“Luke said he heard you being sick.”

I sigh heavily.

I don’t want to talk about this now. Never talking about it would be ideal. Forgetting this whole shit show of a night would be fantastic.

“I was sick. Then I took a shower and brushed my teeth. I’m fine now.

“Did you make yourself sick on purpose?” Levi asks softly.

I turn to face him, getting my first proper look at his face and his emerging black eye.

“Levi! What happened to your face?” I reach out to touch his cheek, worried.

He gently grabs my hand and pulls it down, folding it between his two large ones. “Don’t change the subject.”

The urge to cry comes on again, hard and fast. “I’m sorry Levi,” I whisper.

He sighs. “I’m not mad at you. I just........I wish you wouldn’t feel like that’s something you have to start doing again.”

“I’m sorry,” I say again. “It just....it’s hard. I haven’t felt that way in a long time but then......... I just felt this panic and I thought if I could get rid of the food then I would feel better. And if I start doing it again then I can be more like what he wants.......I could be pretty. I could be so much more than this. I could be good enough for him.” I gesture at my body, the tears flowing freely now.

Levi thunks his head back against the headboard of the bed in frustration. He turns me to face him, his thumbs brushing my tears from my cheeks.

“Hey we’ve talked about this. Remember what you told me when Mammon was selling that picture of me? And I was so embarrassed because I didn’t want anyone seeing that much of my body? You told me I was perfect how I was. I didn’t have to look like Beel or Mammon to be attractive. Fuck everyone who thought differently. You loved me. My brothers loved me in their own weirdly deranged ways. You said I didn’t have to change to be like anyone else to be worthy of love and the things that made me different from my brothers were what made me sexy. And then you got Mammon to delete the picture and give me all the Grimm he made from it.”

Levi grins at me. “I think you’re the only person who has ever been able to get Mammon to willingly hand over Grimm.”

I choke back a sob. “I remember.”

“Ok, well I’m telling you the same thing now. Don’t go back to that. Don’t hate yourself, don’t make yourself sick to try to control things, to change things about yourself to make someone else care about you.” Levi gives me a little shake.

“That’s easy for you to say. I’m just a human. Is there some stupid rule here that all demons must be skinny and mind blowingly attractive?”

Levi looks at me for a moment then laughs. I join in, giggling through my tears.

“I mean what I’m saying,” Levi says as he wipes away the rest of my tears. “We all care about you, exactly how you are. If you start to feel like you can’t handle this and need help we can talk to Diavolo. He can send you back to the human realm to get help from the doctors there. I’m sure he’d let you come back after.”

I bite my lip anxiously then nod. “I’ll tell you if I can’t get a handle on it. If I can’t, or you think I’m slipping you can tell Diavolo.”

“Pinky promise?”

I smile, linking my pinky with his. “Pinky promise.”

Levi sighs in relief. “Good. Feel a little better?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so,” I answer, leaning my shoulder against his. “Hey Levi?”

“Mmm?”

"Thank you.”

He smiles at me. “Anything for my Henry.”

“Could you do me a favor? Could you tell Diavolo I want to talk to him real quick? I want to apologize for everything that happened tonight.”

“Yeah, sure.”

I stand up and reach over to my nightstand. I hand Levi a jumble of things; a toothbrush, a D.D.D. charger, some t-shirts, a pair of sunglasses, a white dress shirt.

“Can you give these back to Mammon when you go back out there? Please?”

Levi nods and we walk to the door together. I take down the ward and he slips through the open door.

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“She wants to talk to Diavolo,” Levi tells the crowd assembled outside Arianthi’s door. “She’s upset but she’s not sick anymore.”

A wave of shock ripples through the rest of the brothers. Diavolo nods and quickly enters the bedroom.

“She really doesn’t want to see any of us?” Asmo asks, hurt.

Levi looks at the ground, trying to avoid the upset gazes of his brothers. “It’s nothing personal Asmo. She’s just got some stuff going on right now. Really personal stuff. She can’t talk about it with anyone else. She might though. Soon. Just don’t be mad at her for it, please?”

Asmo nods, still obviously distressed.

“Well, now that I know she’s not sick I’m going to gather up Luke and Simeon and we’ll take our leave,” Solomon says, shooting Mammon one last dirty look before he turns and walks down the hall.

The demons all give him a half-hearted wave goodbye.

Levi remembers the things that Arianthi gave him and quickly shoves them into Mammon’s arms. “Here’s all your stuff that was in Arianthi’s room. She doesn’t want it in there anymore.”

Mammon looks down at this things in horror. There’s a stinging sensation in his eyes, and he suddenly can’t breathe. He bites down on his lip hard enough to draw blood, and quickly walks to his room without a word to his brothers.

“This is really bad.” Beel looks around at the remaining brothers. “We have to fix this.”

Satan sighs softly. “This might be something we can’t fix Beel.”

“Satan’s right. Ultimately this is going to be between Arianthi and Mammon,” Lucifer says. “The best thing we can do is to let Arianthi know we still care about her and want her in the House of Lamentation.”

He sighs. “Let’s all go to bed. There’s nothing else to do here tonight. I’m sure if Diavolo thinks anything is wrong he’ll let us know before he leaves.”

The brothers all exchange worried glances before they disperse to their bedrooms.

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“Hey.” Diavolo gives me a small smile as he enters my room.

“Hey.” I return the smile and pat my bed. “You can come sit with me if you want.”

“Do you want to put the wards back up?”

I shake my head. “No, just close the door please.”

“Are you feeling better?” The mattress dips under Diavolo’s weight, causing me to slide closer to him.

“Yeah, just a bad moment.”

“I’m sorry Mammon said those things about you.” Diavolo reaches out to take my hand. I involuntarily flinch at the touch of his fingers and he jerks his hand back. “I’m sorry, I overstepped.”

I quickly grab his hand, lacing my fingers with his. “It’s ok Diavolo. I’m just feeling a little off right now.”

“Are you sure?” He looks at me with concern. “I don’t want to make your night worse with my attention if you don’t want it.”

I press a soft kiss to his knuckles. “I’m sure.”

A faint blush stains Diavolo’s cheeks. “And you promise you’re feeling better?”

I grin. He’s absolutely adorable.

“Promise. I have some things I need to work on, but right now I am feeling better.”

He squeezes my hand. “Good.” He pauses for a moment, looking as if he’s trying to gather his thoughts, before he turns and looks earnestly into my eyes.

“Arianthi....... I want you to know that I don’t agree with any of the things Mammon said. And I hope that you don’t let his outburst taint your opinions of other demons...... or of me. I meant what I said earlier tonight, about wanting to get to know you more. I don’t want to push you, because I know that you have feelings for Mammon, but I do hope you’re still open to giving me a chance. And I think our encounter earlier this evening proved that I’m more than slightly attracted to you, just as you are.”

His last sentence comes out in a rushed whisper, and he’s blushing heavily.

“I wouldn’t let something like that change my opinion of you Diavolo,” I respond truthfully. “There are some feelings regarding Mammon that I need to sort through. I really don’t know how all those are going to shake out. I do like you, I enjoy our time together, and I think I made it obvious earlier that I’m attracted to you too. I meant what I said earlier about getting to know you. I’m open to see what could happen between us.”

He smiles and places a soft kiss on the inside of my wrist. “I’m a very patient demon. I’ll follow your lead. Whatever you want, no pressure at all.”

He pushes himself up from my bed. “I should be going. You need your rest.” He leans down and kisses my forehead. “Good night Arianthi.”

I reach up and stroke his cheek. “Diavolo?’

“Hmmm?”

“Stay with me tonight?” This might be a bad idea, but I really just want him close to me right now. Someone who’s open about how he feels me. Someone strong and handsome who can distract me from this fucked up night.

I just want some comfort. Some cuddles. There’s nothing wrong with that. Right?

He hesitates a moment, shock and pleasure warring across his face. “Are you sure?”

I bite my lip, hesitating a moment before holding my arms out to him. “Cuddle me?”

“Your wish is my command, birthday girl.” He grins at me, bending down to give a tight hug.

I stand up to feel more of him, nuzzling my head against his chest. “Thank you.”

He rests his chin on my head. “Anything for you,” he whispers.

We stand that way for a minute, swaying slightly. I feel safe in Diavolo’s arms, like nothing can ever hurt me.

A demon, the Prince of the Devildom no less, is the one who makes me feel safer than I ever have before. I internally roll my eyes and huff a small laugh against Diavolo’s chest.

“Diavolo?”

“Mmm?”

“This is really nice, but can we get into bed? I’m exhausted.” I playfully slump against him to prove my point.

He effortlessly holds me up and chuckles. “Yeah, we can do that. Let me send a message to Barbatos really quickly to let him know he’s free to go home.”

He reaches for his D.D.D. to tap out a quick message.

I pull away to shuck off my hoodie and sweats. I look up to find Diavolo staring at me, eyes wide. I look down at myself, wondering what the problem is.

Beel’s t-shirt is all the way down to my knees, I’m wearing underwear. I’m all covered up. What’s wrong? Panic starts all over again. He hates what he sees. This is a mistake. He knows he made a mistake.

“Everything ok?” I ask anxiously.

“Uh huh. Yep. All good here,” Diavolo says, swallowing nervously.

“Ok.” I smile at him, and slide between the sheets, sinking into my mattress. Diavolo moves to lay beside me, still fully clothed.

I look up at him, confused. “You’re not sleeping in your clothes are you?”

Diavolo’s ears turn red. “I was considering it.”

I stare at him. “Diavolo, we’re both adults here. You can sleep in your boxers. We’ll be ok. If anything happens beyond cuddles it will only be because we both want it. But neither one of us are going to sleep comfortably if you’re still wearing all your clothes.”

He lets out a nervous breath then grins down at me. “You’re right, you’re right.”

He peels off his jacket and shirt, and I stare as his hands move to his belt buckle and he pushes down his pants.

Holy. Fucking. Fuck. Temptation has entered the chat.

I thought Beel was a gorgeous specimen, but Diavolo surpasses even him. Every inch is heavily muscled, perfectly defined. Smooth skin that I want to run my hands over.

I want to climb this man like a tree and never come down. Bad Arianthi. Bad. Quench your thirst.

Diavolo slides under the sheets next to me and we roll onto our sides to face each other.

He reaches out to hold one of my hands. “I really am sorry your birthday ended on such a sour note.”

I squeeze his hand. “It’s not your fault. I’m sorry you had to see all that. Besides, it’s not all bad. We’re here, getting to spend time together.”

He gives me a soft smile, and his hand moves up to gently stroke my arm. “That’s true.”

I tense in automatic response to his touch. He’s going to feel how fat my arms are. He’s going to hate what he feels.

Diavolo’s hand stills immediately. “Is this ok?”

I suck in a deep breath and nod, relaxing a little, waiting for the rational part of my brain to take over.

He’s seen my arms before. He already know what they look like. He wouldn’t be here, touching me, spending time with me, if he didn’t want to.

He resumes his gentle stroking, but remains silent. He seems to be considering what he wants to say.

I place a hand on his bare chest and he shivers under my touch. “Diavolo I can hear your wheels turning from here. What’s on your mind?”

He smirks at me. “I always forget how perceptive you are.” He pauses for a minute, choosing his words carefully. “I know that you have some issues with your body.”

I tense up again.

His hand moves away from my arm, stroking the curve of my waist down to my hip. Up and down. His soft touch gradually helps me relax.

“I’m not going to push you to talk about it now. But I hope someday you feel comfortable enough to talk to me about what you’re feeling. Until then I have no problem telling you how gorgeous I find you. How perfect your body is to me. I’ll tell you every day. Every hour. Every minute, if that’s what it takes.”

I lay my head on his chest trying to hide my tears. Happy tears this time. After a couple minutes I regain my composure and look back up at him. Warm golden eyes meet mine, and he smiles down at me.

I bite the inside of my cheek to hold back more tears and give him a small smile. “Thanks. You know, you’re going against every single demon stereotype right now.”

He pulls me to him, holding me tight. He chuckles, and it rumbles deep in his chest. “Maybe so. But as long as I’m making you happy that’s all that matters.”

He pulls back to stare down at me intently. “I just ask that when you do struggle with things like that you talk to me. I might not always be able to make things better, or even understand, but I want you to always be honest about your feelings with me.”

“I can do that. But only if you promise to do the same thing.” I press a soft kiss to his cheek.

“I promise.” He moves to kiss my cheek in return, but I turn my head at the last minute, catching his lips with my own.

This kiss is soft, chaste, but he still gives a pleased gasp and tightens his grip on me.

He pulls away suddenly and looks down at me with concern. “I want to kiss you. Really kiss you.”

“Then kiss me.” I tilt my head up, ready for more.

Diavolo frowns and bites his lip. “You’ve had a rough night, and you’re upset. I don’t want to take things further, if you’re not......” He exhales sharply. “I don’t want to take advantage of you if you’re not in a good head space right now.”

Mind. Blown.

Once again, a demon is being more considerate than the majority of humans I’ve dated. He deserves to have the same consideration from me.

“I promise you Diavolo, you won’t be taking advantage of me. I want this. I want you. But if you don’t feel comfortable then I won’t push it and we’ll just cuddle and talk. Or you can leave if you don’t feel ok about that anymore. I won’t be mad. I want you to be comfortable too.”

“I am more than comfortable with this as long as you are.” Diavolo moves in to kiss me again but I press a finger to his lips, stopping him.

“I just want to make sure that I’m being totally transparent with you. I like you, and I do want you. I still want to keep getting to know you. But whatever happens between us tonight I can’t make you any promises that it will lead to anything permanent. If you don’t feel ok doing anything more physical than kissing without a being in a relationship, then I totally understand.” I hold my breath, waiting for his response.

He stays silent for a bit, mulling over what I’ve told him. “I appreciate your honesty. We’ve already decided that we want to keep learning about each other and spending more time together. Sex won’t change what I want, and I won’t ever push you for more than you’re comfortable with. Physically or emotionally.”

Whew. “Same page then?”

“Same page. Can I please kiss you now?”

I giggle and nod, and he surges forward, pressing his lips against mine. I sigh into the kiss, pleasure lighting up every nerve ending. Diavolo licks along my lower lip.

“Open your mouth,” he growls.

I instantly obey and brush my tongue against his. He pulls me tight against him, his tongue soft against mine, expertly teasing me, gentle and exploring. I wriggle against him, desperate for more contact. He grips my hips and rolls onto his back, pulling me on top of him, his mouth never breaking contact with mine.

His hands tug at the hem of my shirt, asking permission. I move up to my knees and pull it over my head, tossing it carelessly onto the floor.

“Fuck.”

Diavolo pulls me further up his body and turns his attention to my breasts. He draws one nipple into his mouth, sucking hard and flicking it with his tongue. His hand moves up to cup my other breast, gently stroking and squeezing, before his large fingers start pinching and tugging my nipple, bringing it to a stiff peak. He cups me again, his large palm overstimulating my already sensitive breast.

I card my hands through his hair, tugging slightly and giving a small moan. Diavolo releases my nipple from his mouth with a small pop! and gives me a wicked grin. His hands stroke down my back and move to squeeze my ass. He mouths my neck, teeth nipping against the tender skin.

“Mmmmm. So quiet. Clearly I need to do better. I need you moaning my name. Telling me how good I make you feel. Don’t hold back beautiful. Let me hear you,” he murmurs.

He sucks hard on a particularly sensitive spot on my neck, then soothes it with a soft swipe of his tongue.

“Diavolo!” I shudder against him and he takes the opportunity to lavish more attention on my breasts, kissing and licking, making me squirm above him.

“Mmmm, that’s more like it.” His deep voice sends pleasant vibrations against my skin as he continues to use his mouth on me.

I pull back and look down at him. He’s flushed, breathing quickly, his eyes heavy lidded with desire. “My turn.”

I lightly kiss his lips, moving down his neck slowly. I press sensuous kisses to his chest, licking one of his nipples while I gently scrape the other with my fingernail.

“Yes,” he hisses between clenched teeth, arching beneath me.

I grin against his chest, slowly moving down his body. I scrape my teeth along his abs and give him a soft bite. One large hand moves down to softly tangle in my hair. I stop my kisses at the waistband of his boxers. His erection strains against the fabric, but I’m not going any further without his express permission.

I look up at him through my lashes and give a small tug on his boxers. “Are you ok with this?”

His hand tightens in my hair. “Don’t you dare stop now.”

“Perfect.”

I give his stomach one last kiss and palm him through thin fabric. His hips arch up and he ruts against my hand, the front of his boxers already wet with pre-cum.

I pull his boxers down, slowly freeing his erection. He lifts his hips, speeding the process along. I quickly toss away his discarded boxers, and reach out to stroke him.

He’s huge.

I suddenly have doubts about how he’s going to fit in my.......well anything really. Then Diavolo moans my name and everything else disappears.

I continue to stroke him, relishing the velvet feel of his skin against my hand. I lower my head to give him kitten licks, slowly swiping my tongue against the head of his cock and his slit, lapping up his pre-cum.

“Fuck.” Diavolo fists his hands into my hair. “More. Please.”

It’s a heady feeling, having the prince of the Devildom beneath me and begging for my mouth. I wrap my lips around the head of his cock and begin sucking, continuing to stroke his shaft, my hand moving in rhythm with my mouth.

Diavolo tries to keep his hips still, but he can’t help thrusting up into my mouth, greedy for more contact. I gag, my eyes tearing up, but I continue on, his pleasure the only thing on my mind. I eventually remove my hand, my mouth bobbing up and down on his cock. It’s a messy, sloppy blow job, but from his groans of pleasure I don’t think he minds.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop,” Diavolo breathes, those words somewhere between a plea and a prayer.

I reach between his legs to cup his balls, my mouth still wrapped around his thick cock. His hips buck, his back arching off the bed, and I can feel the muscles in his thighs tighten. He tugs on my hair, pulling me off of him, and I release his cock reluctantly.

“Something wrong?” I ask with a grin, wiping the back of my hand across my mouth.

“If you keep doing that I’m going to cum.” Diavolo’s chest is heaving and he grips my wrists tightly.

I arch an eyebrow at him. “And that’s bad because.......?”

He growls and yanks me up his body. “Because I need to taste you. Now. And when I cum I’m going to cum inside you. I want to see your face when I mark you as mine for the first time.”

He keeps pulling me up until my thighs are resting on either side of his head. He presses a kiss to my inner thigh. “Hold on to the headboard.”

“Wha-? Oh god!” I lose my train of thought as Diavolo gives a sharp bite to the inside of my thigh. He turns his head and brushes kisses along the other.

He brings a finger up and slowly circles my clit.

“So pretty,” he mumbles. “And so wet. Just for me.”

He lazily swipes his finger through my folds, up and down, before returning to press on my clit.

I grip the headboard, panting. “Diavolo..... no teasing.”

He presses one finger into me, stretching me. He strokes slowly, giving me time to adjust to his size.

I whimper and attempt to move my hips. One large hand grabs my thigh, holding me still. Diavolo adds a second finger, stroking in and out, working me into a frenzy.

My grip on the headboard tightens. “Your mouth, use your mouth. Please,” I beg.

Diavolo continues his maddeningly slow pace, pressing his thumb against my clit for further stimulation.

“I can’t hear you princess. Be a little louder for me. Use your words.” He blows a breath of cool air against my heated core and I shiver, tightening around his fingers.

“Diavolo please! I need your mouth on me. Please!” I’m no longer worried about keeping quiet. The whole House of Lamentation could hear me for all I care. My one need is to feel Diavolo’s mouth on my pussy. NOW.

He laughs and gives my thigh one last kiss. “Good girl.” He slowly and deliberately swipes his tongue against my clit.

“Fuck!”

He removes his fingers and presses an open mouth kiss against me, his tongue stroking through my folds. “You taste even better than I imagined you would.

My hips buck. “More,” I mewl helplessly.

Diavolo’s hands grab my hips roughly and he plunges his tongue inside me. I scream, overwhelmed by the sensation. He keeps a firm grip on me, never allowing me to move away. He begins using his hands to guide my hips in an up and down rhythm, his tongue thrusting in and out.

He’s making me fuck his face.

Everything begins to fade around me. Nothing matters but the sensation of Diavolo’s tongue between my thighs.

“Diavolo..........Diavolo I’m going to cum. I’m going to cum.” I’m a whimpering mess, unable to do anything but hold tight to the headboard and let pleasure sweep me away.

He removes his mouth from me long enough to say, “Then cum for me Arianthi. I need you on my tongue.”

His presses a finger against my clit, circling it roughly while he resumes fucking me with his tongue. Tension gathers in my core, tighter and tighter until it finally snaps.

“Diavolo!” I scream, shuddering against him. My vision flashes white as my orgasm takes over. He continues to stroke and lick me through my release, lapping up everything I give him.

I’m trembling when he eases me off of him and lays me back on the mattress. He rolls over on top of me, grinning and looking pleased with himself.

He brings his mouth to mine and gives me a deep kiss. I can taste myself on his tongue, and I moan into the kiss, greedy for more of whatever he wants to give me.

“Good?” he whispers against my lips.

“Try amazing,” I whisper back, lacing my hands behind his neck and bringing him down for another kiss.

He breaks the kiss and laughs, moving to settle his hips between my thighs. He reaches between us to stroke his cock a few times, using the head to tease my already overstimulated clit.

He looks up and meets my eyes. “Is this ok? Do you still want this?”

I nod and tilt my hips up to meet his. “I want this.”

He slowly pushes the head of his cock into my pussy. I tense slightly and he stops.

He’s so big. How is he this big? Are all demons this big? Goddamn Diavolo you could split a girl in half.

Diavolo presses a soft kiss to my lips. “Relax baby. I won’t hurt you. I’ll be so gentle with you.”

My body melts into his, soothed by his sweet words. He continues pressing into me, inch by excruciatingly pleasurable inch.

“You’re so beautiful Arianthi. And so wet for me. Such a tight fit baby. Like you were made just for me. Fuuuuuuuuck...... I love the way you feel.” Diavolo murmurs against my neck, kissing and nuzzling me between endearments.

He lets out a beautifully obscene moan once he’s fully sheathed, and gives me time to adjust to his size. I’m panting, already overwhelmed by the feel of him.

“Are you ok if I move?”

“Fuck yes,” I whisper, rocking my hips against his.

He pulls out, only to thrust back in slowly, drawing out every ounce of pleasure he can. I throw my head back against my pillows and close my eyes, reveling in sensations. His cock inside me, his lips on my neck, the feel of his hair between my fingers, the weight of his body pressing me down into the mattress.

Diavolo continues to slowly thrust, building our mutual ecstasy. I feel his mouth against my ear.

“Look at me,” he orders, nipping at my earlobe.

I gasp and focus my eyes on his face.

“I want your eyes on me princess.” He snaps his hips against mine, increasing his pace. “I want you looking at me when you cum, knowing it’s me that made you feel this way. I don’t want you thinking about Mammon. I want all your attention on me and how good I make you feel.”

“Yes,” I whimper, wrapping my legs around his waist.

“What’s that baby?” Diavolo thrusts into me hard, leaving me gasping for breath.

“Only you Diavolo. Only you,” I cry out.

He gives me a feral grin. “Good girl.”

He deepens his thrusts, grinding against me every time our hips meet. He holds himself up on one forearm, bringing his other hand between us, fingers sliding down my stomach to rub against my clit.

I scream his name, fingertips digging into his shoulders. I’m coming undone, quickly. Diavolo feels me tensing beneath him and kisses me, tongue entering my mouth and mimicking the movements of his cock.

I break away, gasping for air. “Diavolo I’m going to -”

“Me too.” He’s breathless, chasing his own orgasm. He rests his forehead against mine. “Please look at me. I need to see you.”

I open my eyes and he looks down at me, eyes glazed with lust. His hips stutter and his thrusts become sloppy. He pushes into me one last time, and I feel the warmth of his release as he cums, moaning my name. The sensation of his cock twitching inside me sends me over the edge, and I bury my face into his neck as my pussy clenches around his cock.

We’re both breathing hard when I pull back to look at him, and he leans down to repeatedly press soft kisses to my lips. He stays inside me as we kiss and hold each other for a few minutes, reluctant to separate.

“Are you ok?” Diavolo whispers, nose nuzzling my cheek.

“That was ........ I can’t....wow....you’re amazing,” I answer, giggling as his nose tickles me. “Are you ok?”

“I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this happy.” He smiles down at me, giving me one last kiss before he pulls out and stretches out beside me. He curls into the position of big spoon and pulls me tight against his chest, one arm wrapping around me protectively.

He kisses the back of my neck, and pulls the blankets over us. “I think we’ve earned a little rest.”

I nestle back into the warmth of his chest and relax, listening as Diavolo’s breathing becomes slow and even. I close my eyes, settling into the comfort of his body against mine when a sudden noise makes my eyes fly open.

I scan my bedroom before my gaze settles on my door, cracked open, light from the hallway spilling into my room. My eyes fly up and land on the pale face staring at me from the doorway.

Oh, fuck.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mammon wanders the hallways of the House of Lamentation, miserable over the way things had happened at Arianthi’s party. He can’t sleep, sick to his stomach that he had let his jealousy and pride hurt the person that he cared about the most.

I gotta find a way to make this up to her, to show her I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. It was so stupid. All I need is a chance to apologize and I’ll promise to never do it again. I just need to get her to listen to me for five minutes so I can give her the birthday present I got her and tell her how I really feel.

A cry catches his attention and he follows the sound to investigate. He ends up in front of Arianthi’s door. It’s barely cracked open and he can hear whimpers coming from inside her room. Worried that she may be sick again he softly pushes the door open a little wider. What he sees makes vomit rise in his throat and tears spill down his cheeks.

Diavolo is on top of Arianthi, thrusting his cock into her slowly and whispering things Mammon can’t hear. What he can hear is Arianthi moaning in pleasure as she writhes beneath Diavolo, bucking her hips up to meet his every thrust. He watches in horror as they cry out in pleasure together, then gently kiss and whisper to each other as they come down from their shared high.

What did I do? Did I fuck up this badly? Or has this been going on right under my nose the whole time? No, no, Arianthi’s not like that. I did this. I pushed her away every time she started to get close. This happened because I fucked up. I didn’t treat her right, I didn’t let her know I cared. This is on me.

Mammon roughly wipes the tears from his cheeks as he watches Diavolo wrap himself around Arianthi and they settle in to sleep. He can hear Arianthi’s sigh of contentment as she cuddles back into Diavolo.

He stares at them a moment longer, something deep and ugly taking root in his chest. Rage, jealousy, pain, love, and regret war inside him, each begging to be released.

That should be me. She’s MY human. MY girl. I’m her FIRST man. That should be ME.

Mammon’s breath catches as Arianthi’s eyes snap open and focus on him. He looks at the person he loves above all others, tears falling openly down his face, as she gazes back at him in shock from the comfort of another demon’s arms.

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thealphabetmurders · 4 years

Text

The Guys Who Didn’t Like (Modern Day) Musicals

3.3k words | AO3 Link | warnings: swearing, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Remus angst, Remus-typical language and themes

Janus knows that one day his soulmate and himself will be happy, and their love story would be a great and wonderful one... And yet if he has to hear "Freeze Your Brain" playing one more time, his soulmate may not live to see their wedding night.

(Or when your soulmate listens to music or is singing, you hear it in your own head as well.)

***

Janus was on his very last nerve. Sure, wanting to strangle your soulmate was a bit morally frowned upon, however when the song of his nightmares plays for the 4th time that day, he believes anyone would agree that those lines blur to the morally ambiguous side of things.

Attempting to hold his composure, he waited until they were out of the lecture hall and in Virgil’s car to punch the dashboard with all his might, throwing his beanie off into the backseat, collapsing into his knees, wanting to scream.

“Jesus Christ, Jay, what the fuck was that?” Virgil stared at his friend with wide eyes, wanting to place his hand down on Janus’ back, comfortingly, but decided against it once he analyzed the outburst, instead keeping his eyes on the road as he pulled out of the parking lot toward their shared dorm.

Janus didn’t respond, just gripped his ears as if that would make the music stop or deafen it. It didn’t, of course, seeing as it was literally in his head.

“Just play something,”

“J-”

“Do it Virgil!” Janus snapped, and Virgil hit the volume button on his car, loud music from a pop punk band he did not recognize played loudly through the car speakers. The noise deafened in his head, and Janus leaned back in his seat sighing, he turned his head towards the driver, “Thank you, Virgil,” He turned his attention towards the road, sighing, before looking up at the ceiling, smirking, “Yeah, you like that, fucker? You make me listen to your shitty pop songs, now you got trash emo in your head,”

Virgil scoffed, “Trash emo? I promise you Yellowcard is good, they have a violin, I am sure you like that with your jazz weirdness,”

Rubbing his knuckles, Janus rolled his eyes, “Oh yes, I am sure it is used practically and it is not just a gimmick,” Virgil fell silent and Janus smirked, knowing he had won, “Apologies for my earlier, er, outburst. It is just simply so frustrating that this stupid song has been playing so much for so long,”

“The smoothie one?”

“Pretty sure 7-Eleven doesn’t sell smoothies, I think it is a slushie.” Janus stared out the window as Virgil’s playlist rolled to a different song, the lyrics still biting his brain with a dull ache, “Lyrics are so meaningless.” He muttered, “Freeze your brain, suck on that straw, get lost in the pain,” Janus mocked the singer bitterly, a short laugh following, “What kind of lyrics even are though. So shallow and meaningless…”

“Wait, Freeze Your Brain, that’s from Heathers!”

Both Virgil and Janus let out a scream that was a much higher pitch than either of them would care to admit. The car swerved over into the next lane, but Virgil corrected it once he regained his composure.

“By the way, here is your hat back, Jannie,” Remus smiled with his pearly whites on display, acting as though he was doing the pair a service and didn’t almost kill all 3 of them by startling the driver with his unknown presence.

“Remus! What the fuck- where did you come from,” Virgil yelled, gripping the steering wheel, knuckles white and face red with anger.

“Well I had abnormal psych earlier in the East-”

“It’s a figure of speech, dumbass!” Janus said sternly.

Remus nodded, smiling, “Well, I am in your backseat of course. I got done with my classes about 15 minutes before you and didn’t feel like waiting for a bus in the cold and then walking and then my roommate getting mad at me about the snow on the floor and then us having a fight and then I have to sleep on the sidewalk again which is actually more comfortable than my acu-”

“How did you even get in here?” Virgil growled, still obviously not over the shock of someone being in his backseat unexpectedly.

“Door was unlocked,”

“Sure as fuck wasn’t!” Virgil shook his head, laughing in a way that was scary to watch. The kind of laugh that a serial killer does right before ending the life of their prey.

“Virgil, shush, Remus what were you sa-”

Virgil scoffed, “No, Janus you shut up before I shut you up. Remus,” Virgil turned around to face his friend, anger in his eyes, and this was the first time Remus’ expression had faltered, “You don’t get to break into my car, you do not get to break into my dorm, and you don’t get to break into the breakroom at my job, or so help me God I will rearrange all of the uses of your orifices, ‘kay?”

Remus sighed, resting his hand in his chin, “Are you sure we’re not soulmates?” His voice steeped in adoration.

Virgil opened his mouth to respond, bit his lip and shook his head, opting not to answer. Exasperated, but a little more calm.

Janus waited a few more moments, making sure the coast was clear from any further outbursts before turning to Remus, “Anyway… My soulmate is listening to what?”

“Oh,” Remus clapped his hands together, “Freeze Your Brain from Heathers the Musical.”

Janus rolled his eyes, looking at Virgil, “Oh, wonderful, my soulmate like modern day musicals, just what I needed,”

“You listen to Hamilton,” Virgil grunted.

“Hamilton is the most popular musical in the world, most likely what revived the entire modern day musical scene, it would be more shocking if Janny hadn’t listened to it,” Remus pointed out, helpfully, resting his chin on the back of Janus’ seat.

Virgil frowned, lazily flipping his turn signal, “Why do you know so much about theater, Reme, that isn’t exactly your scene,”

“Yea, isn’t your favorite band-”

“Ninja Sex Party,” Virgil finished.

This caught Remus’ attention, he perked up in his seat and clapped his hands together, wiggling with excitement in the back seat, “Ooh yes! Danny Sexbang is fucking delicious. He makes me want to strangle an ox with my bare hands!” Remus made a gripping motion before quickly putting a finger up to his ear and closed his eyes, “Nobody showed but I'm gonna have some fun, let's get this party started it's an orgy for one, it’s me and my h-”

“Remus!” Janus cut off Remus’ singing with a clap, “I need you to focus. Whilst we all love your singing,” He side-eyed Virgil with this comment, who looked at him but said nothing, “I would like to know about your aptitude for theater knowledge,”

“Because of the soulmate thing, right you don’t actually care about why I know so much?” Remus said, uncharacteristically seriously.

Both Virgil and Janus felt the guilt and discomfort settle over the car. Janus laughed awkwardly to save face, “O-of course not, Remus, we like to know your thoughts and interests and-”

Remus started cackling, “I know Janny, I’m just messing with you. If you guys didn’t like me, Black Parade over there wouldn’t have let me talk to him for 3 hours about John Wayne Gacey on Sunday,” Janus quirked an eyebrow up at Virgil who had a slight blush on his cheeks, keeping himself very focused on the road, “Anyway, my twin’s nuts for musical theater, it is all he would talk about growing up, and now he is in a production of Heathers and he will not shut up about it,”

“Not shutting up must run in the family,” Virgil muttered, shaking his head.

A devious smirk was plastered on Remus’ lips. “I am sure you can think of a couple ways to get me to shut up, princess,”

Virgil gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, and Janus didn’t even want to know what was running through his friend’s head, “So, this play-”

“Musical,”

“Whatever. My soulmate is listening to it?” Janus frowned. He was concerned, but a little relieved. There have been countless stories of people having to learn a different language because the native tongue doesn’t match what music is in their soulmate’s head. Happened enough that he gets shitty Facebook adverts for language classes, specifically for soulmate related reasons.

“Seems that way. Actually, our uni’s theater is putting it on, that’s where my brother is performing it. Do you think maybe…” Remus trailed off, quirking up an eyebrow.

Janus frowned, thinking, “It is possible, yes. Do you think your brother would mind if we sat in on his rehearsals?”

Remus smiled, “Not at all, he loves the attention, I am sure if we go now we’ll be able to catch the end,”

Virgil groaned, parking the car at their dorm, “So, you’re telling me we just got back to our dorm and now you want me to leave and drive all the way back?”

“Better punch it Emo Alfred, love is on the line!” Remus ruffled the back of Virgil’s hair who smacked him away, pulling out of the parking lot and driving back towards campus.

Virgil and Remus began bickering with one another like children , but Janus was not paying much attention to them, he was trapped in his own thoughts. His calm demeanor as he stared out the window of the passenger sat did not match the nervous energy coursing through his body. The music played loudly through Virgil’s car speakers but there was still a dull rhythm in his head where his soulmate's music was still playing.

Maybe Janus’ soulmate would hate him. He was not exactly a fan of musicals (plays being more his speed, though he has never been one to be confined to the stage to have a flair for the dramatics), which is a red flag, seeing as that is mainly what his soulmate listens to. What if they are destined to hate one other? What if throughout the great expanses of time and space, the strings of fate connected their two selves just because it would be on sight any time they make eye contact (the homoeroticism of that is not lost on Janus, though he would be an even bigger liar if made himself believe that he did not want a romantic relationship).

“Jan, we are here,” Virgil put a tentative hand on Janus’ shoulder after he turned the car off. Someone less timid than himself may have jumped, but he was better trained than that, so he simply looked at Virgil, nodding, before exiting the car.

Shoving his beanie on over his ears and shoving his hands in his coat pocket, he walked with purpose towards the theater, head down and feet hitting hard against the ground, lightly dusted with snow.

“Remus why- fuck- why do you never talk about your brother?” Virgil pulled his hoodie closer around his middle, the light material not made for weather in the negatives.

Remus wordlessly pulled off his coat, throwing it over Virgil shoulders, “Same reason you don’t hear me constantly talking about Kanye West: insufferable egomaniacs do not really need any more attention,” He spat out like venom. “Besides, don’t want you to abandon me once you meet Roman because he is just perfect,” He laughed like normal but no one could ignore the intent behind his words. Virgil and Janus side eye’d one other, never hearing Remus speak so seriously.

Janus swallowed thickly, “Y’know, Remus, we do not even know if Roman is my soulmate. We do not have to go meet him, it is honestly not that important to me,”

Skipping up the steps, Remus grabbed the doors to the theater, holding it open to his two friends. He snorted at Janus' comment, pulling off his hat and messing up his hair, “Liar,” Essentially ending the debate in a very short, very Remus way.

The entrance to the auditorium was modest and did not have many decorations. The area is mainly filled with old posters advertising previous shows, as well as accolades for the directors and actors, the newer ones stating a couple familiar names. Virgil and Janus looked at the posters for a little bit before they were summoned by the twin.

He followed the two towards a side door that opened up backstage. It was dark, but Janus could just make out Virgil pushing his sleeves over his hands, biting his thumbnail. Janus shrugged off his coat, setting it down on a nearby table and fiddled with his winter gloves, beginning to get an uneasy feeling as well.

“Not to be that guy,” Virgil said in a low voice, grabbing onto Janus’ bicep, “But do you seem to get the feeling we are not supposed to be here?”

Janus hummed, “I think we are incredibly welcome. Why else would we have to sneak through the back and creep around in the dark?”

“Remus, why ex- Wait, where is Remus,” Virgil asked in a hushed whisper.

“Brother!!” Was yelled, followed by a crashing sound. Janus and Virgil looked at each other before rushing towards the noise, finding themselves on a set that looked like a convenience store. Janus saw a girl with short black hair standing near them, looking at the pair confused and Remus on the ground on top of another body.

“Remus!” The figure pushed Remus off of him before scrambling to stand up. Janus' heart stopped.

“Oh,” He thought to himself, before praying to any Gods above that might exist, “Please don’t make Remus get us kicked out,”

The man who Janus cleverly deduced was Roman brushed off his black pants (now covered with sawdust) and ran a hand through his hair, which matched Remus black curls but seemed to be actually styled. Roman held out a hand to Remus who took it, but instead of standing up, pulled Roman back down onto the ground with him.

Someone towards the front of the stage cleared their throat and sighed, “Salutations once again, Remus. Why do we… Let’s take a 10,” The man sighed, adjusting his glasses before making a sharp exit leaving just the 4 of them on stage.

“By the grace of Poseidon above, Remus, what exactly did I say about coming to my rehearsals unannounced,”

Remus tapped his chin, playing with the stubble, thinking, “That I can come anytime and do whatever I want?”

“No. To not to. Very simple. Just don’t,” Roman sighed standing up, tentatively offering his hand out to Remus again, with a pained expression. Remus’ expression softened as he took Roman’s hand, standing up slightly…. Before falling onto his backside again, taking Roman with him again.

Roman groaned as Remus cackled wildly, “Jeez, are you sure you are the one who got a scholarship, or did they confuse us again?”

Running a hand through his hair, Roman stood up before backing away like a frightened animal, “It was a theater scholarship, thank you, not a scholarship to avoid being tricked by my tormented, tirisome twin. How did you even get in here... again?”

“Door was unlocked,”

“Sure as fuck wasn’t!” Roman ran a hand through his hair, looking down at his brother and finally making eye contact with Janus and Remus across the stage. His cheeks subtlety colored before smiling, walking towards the pair.

“Oh, I was not aware that Remus had brought an audience this time. I am Roman Prince. I would apologize for his behavior but seeing as your expressions are as externally exasperated as mine, I assume you are used to his… Shenanigans,” Roman’s tone seemed tired but his expression still seemed quite fond.

“Used to it a kind way of putting it,” Virgil grumbled, as Remus ran over, throwing an arm around his shoulder, which made Virgil wear that same fond expression.

Remus smiled, “This cutie is Virgil, hands off, but this intimidating looking dude right here is Janus. He likes debating, philosophy, vintage style music, and he hates society and styling his hair,”

Janus bowed his head, instinctively adjusting his beanie, “Thank you Remus for that kind introduction, I am sure Roman wanted that,”

Roman laughed, “I don’t mind. I hate society and also listen to my fair share of vintage music,”

“Oh, yea?”

“Yea, well,” Roman rolled his eyes fondly, “Not exactly by choice. My soulmate listens to that style of music and holy Hephaestus' hammer there is a lot of swing. I mean it is good, but I almost feel bad because ballads before Britney Spears I am not particularly interested it,”

“My soulmate will not stop playing music from the dreaded musical Heathers, I swear if I have to hear it again I am going to find my soulmate and strangle him,”

Roman’s expression went from intrigued to devious, the expression makes the difference between Remus and Roman almost indistinguishable, “Oh really?” He smirked, “Did it go something like…” Roman backed up a little bit, standing in the middle of the stage but facing Janus stage left, “ I've been through ten high schools, they start to get blurry, no point planting roots 'cause you're gone in a hurry. My dad keeps two suitcases packed in the den, so it's only a matter of when…”

Janus' eyes widened to the size of saucers, as he completely forgot the reason they came to the theater was because the theater department was putting on a production of that “dreaded musical” Janus was entranced either way, the mesmerizing voice that has played in his head all his life was standing right in front of him. He looked behind him to gauge Remus and Virgil’s reaction, but the pair must have left the stage without him noticing.

Roman walked around the stage, still singing, following some choreography he is sure, but another part of him says it cannot be, because it looks so natural, like Roman is the singer, like this was real life and the world is his musical.

The band didn’t need to play, because Janus remembered every beat and every flourish from the countless times it has played in his head. And yet, he is not annoyed this time. It would be impossible to be, when Roman on stage is the most glorious and breathtaking thing. Like a shooting star or fireworks or a tasteful nude- you just cannot look away, even if you wanted to.

“Just freeze your brain, freeze your brain, go on and freeze your brain…” Roman stopped right in front of him, “Try it,” He spoke, lightly stroking Janus’ cheek with the back of his hand, and God did he want to kiss Roman right there. To taste the faux cherry slush that he imagined was on his lips and tongue… But he didn’t, because he could barely move under Roman’s touch.

“I-” Janus opened his mouth to speak after a while, “That was- uh- that was alright,” Janus stuttered, fiddling with the ends of his glove. Roman threw his head back, laughing, “I am not one to typically enjoy the, er, modern day musical but you seemed to carry that incredibly well,”

Roman shrugged, “I was born for this,” He retracted his hand and did a purrete, a soft smile present on his lips.

“Would you want to go to the cafe with Remus, Virgil, and I? I would understand if you say no, Remus has been kicked out of that cafe too many times to count on one- no- to count on six hands,”

Roman ran a hand through his hair, “Yes, that seems incredibly on brand for my brother. That pugnacious peasant has no idea how to control his inhibitions,”

Janus squinted his eyes, smirking slightly, “Do you ever stop with the word play?”

Roman smiled, real and genuine this time, “No. I suppose that would be something you have to get used to, huh?”

Taking Roman’s hand, he laced their fingers together, “Stop playing show tunes 24/7, and I think I will be able to manage,”

“Play a song from the 21st century once and while and I think we have a deal,”

Janus crossed his fingers behind his back, a devious smirk on his lips, “Oh, of course, my Prince,”

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #roceit #deceit sanders #this was going to be for soulmate september #but writing has been hard for me recently #and I don't know why #hrmmmm #my writing

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #442

“the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?”

Would you ever sell your soul? No. Do you believe that something is going to happen in 2012? Welp, clearly not. I never believed it. Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon? No, but I'd love to! When was the last time you slept in someone else’s bed? Uhhh not since I visited Sara, I think. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud, for sure. Louder than I should listen to. Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo? No. What’s the last song you heard? "The Bird and the Worm" by The Used. Has anyone told you they missed you lately? No. What are you most likely to do when you’re exhausted; take a nap, drink some coffee, or go for a run to get yourself pumped up again? Naps definitely win. What are you most likely to pick if you got to choose your topic on a research paper; drug abuse, mental illness, or the death penalty? Mental illness, for sure. What is your favorite month of the year and why? October, bc aesthetic. What’s your least favorite animal? Probably wasps. They're mean fuckers that kill bees. What was your class song when you graduated? Some super shitty country song. Have you ever had to spend the night outside (not camping)? No. What`s the scariest living animal that you`ve petted? A tarantula, I'd say. She was a sweet rose hair that I literally did pet, which you absolutely should not do to tarantulas, but I knew nothing about them at the time. The urticating hairs on their abdomens cause serious itching, and I tell ya, that sure happened. So did you play old school Nintendo or Atari or Sega? If so which one? We had an old Atari for a long time. When/where did you meet your first love? In the hallway, during my sophomore year of high school. Is there anyone you dislike, that you have to see/speak to regularly? Hm, what qualifies as "regularly," really? I don't like my sister's husband, who I see semi-regularly, but I don't really talk to him. Does your family eat any unique foods for Thanksgiving that aren’t the norm? If so, what are they? Nah, not that I can think of. If you eat oatmeal, do you add water or milk to it? What is your favorite flavor? Milk; I don't like it with water. I only eat the apples and cinnamon kind. Was the last video you watched on YouTube a music video? If not, what was it of? It's a let's play. Have you ever been brave enough to cut your hair in a very different way? If you have, did you regret your decision after? Yes, and I still love it. What was the last book you had to read for school? Did you enjoy it, or were you just trying to get through? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. I loved it. Has anyone you know personally ever won the lottery? If so, how much did they win? Would/have you ever play(ed) the lottery? No to both questions. I have a very addictive personality, so I don't really mess with dangerous things that might tempt that behavior. What band/celebrity/etc. do you know the most information about? Who would you like to learn more about? Markiplier, ha ha. As for who I'd like to know more about... hm. Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Girt has. Who has made the biggest difference in your life? Jason. You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? Also Jason. -_- What is the name on your birth certificate (feel free to withhold your last name for privacy reasons)? Brittany Marie is all you need to know. Even if shopping isn’t your favorite... every girl has a favorite store. What’s yours? My favorite physical store is Hot Topic, but my favorite store overall is Rebel's Market, which I'm pretty sure is just an online source. Which type of undies do you wear most: Thongs, bikini/briefs, bootyshorts, or granny panties? Don't you dare laugh, I prefer "granny panties" lmfao. They're what I'm comfortable in, okay. How many nail polishes do you have, if you were to take a guess? *I* have none. Idk about Mom, but I know not a lot. Are you on birth control? Do you use condoms? I use birth control to regulate my period and ease cramps. If I was sexually active though, both would be musts for me. When did you start your period? How did you react? Who did you tell first? When I got home from school sometime in middle school. I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I was EXTREMELY upset. Like, I cried, because I didn't feel like a kid anymore. My mom was the first to know. Have you ever had sex while on your period? If so, would you ever do it again? NO NO NO NO THAT SOUNDS SO GROSS LKASDFJ;AJW;LKERJA;WEJLRKQWLKE;JR. Which way do you swing (boys, girls, or both)? I'm bi. Or pan. I really don't know. Tell me ALL about your longest/most serious relationship. Are you still in that relationship? How about I don't, because doing that I'm sure will send me in a PTSD spiral. No, we're no longer together. Who is your ALL TIME best friend (don’t count your boyfriend, either, silly!)? Sara. I don't think I've been as close with any other best friend. Which one of your friends has the best singing voice? SARAAAAAAAAAAA. What shade are you in foundation or concealer? I don't have a clue. I don't wear either. Have you ever showered with someone? Boy or girl? Were you completely naked? "Were you completely naked." No, I shower with underwear on. I've showered with my little sister as well as my best friend as a kid. I've never shared a shower as an adult and don't want to. Do you think you’re good enough for the person you like? No. Are you a cuddler or no? If I'm really into you, YUP. And if it's not hot. Wouldn’t it be kinda annoying to have to share a bed every night? No. I miss it sometimes. Have you ever walked on a beach at night? Yes. It's beautiful. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? Pretty easily, yeah. Would you marry someone you didn’t love if you were paid 10 thousand dollars? No. I just wouldn't be able to stomach doing that. I'm solely marrying for love. Have you had sex today? I haven't in many years. Do you still care about your last ex? Very very much! Do you own more then one bathing suit? Nope. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? Yeah, but none I like. Who have you recently made up with after fighting? Nobody. Who do you WANT to make up with? Jason. Megan. Do you get scared easily? Hm. It really depends on the situation. Have you seen UP? Never the full movie, actually. I need to. How many coats of mascara do you use? I use it so rarely that I barely know. Two, maybe? What’s your favorite bracelet? The one Sara gave me. I used to always wear it, but it's worn down with time and is too loose for me now, so it's just with my jewelry. What color hair does your mom have? It's naturally gray now, but she dyes it black. Favorite song to listen to when you are mad? "Headache" by Motionless In White does it. What restaurant would you want to work at? NONE. I ain't working with hungry people. I don't want to work with people - period. When people ask “how are you?” do you say “good” even if you aren’t? Depends on who's asking. If it's a stranger or someone I barely know, odds are I'm just going to reply with "fine" or something like that. Were you honestly a good kid? Yes. Is anything wrong with your eyes? I have to wear glasses, so. Have you kissed or hugged anyone today? No. What is your mom’s and dad’s favorite TV show? I don't really know for either. Mom watches loads of shows, and I don't live with Dad, so. I know he really likes The Big Bang Theory, though, which Mom also loves. Have you ever suspected your mom or dad of having an affair? No, but ~supposedly~, Dad did with his now-wife. I don't know what the fuck is true between my parents, though. Do you think buying second hand clothes is gross? It depends on the type of clothing (ex., used underwear is a huge fucking no), as well as the state it's in. Does it gross you out when your parents kiss? They're divorced. That would be incredibly weird, uncomfortable, and impossible with how I know at least Mom feels towards Dad. Do you have a playlist made on YouTube? Yeah, multiple. Do you like dollar stores? I mean, sure? They have good deals occasionally and are a good option to stop for a quick snack or something. Mom doesn't actually *shop* in them, though. What’s the last thing you bought from one? I think a honeybun. Do you think it’s weird how babies are made? Well, yeah. Science can be crazy, though. Have you ever lost a friend over the opposite sex? No. Are you comfortable in a short skirt? I wouldn't be comfortable in ANY skirt. Do you and your family go on a vacation ever year? We essentially never do. Vacations cost money. We don't have money to spare. When you were going out with your last ex and you had the chance to date your celebrity crush, would you have left your bf/gf for them? No, because it's not like I know him personally, while I know her very deeply. Who was your most romantic moment with? Jason. Do you sweat easily? Like you wouldn't BELIEVE. A side effect of one (or even multiple) of my meds is hyperhidrosis, so I can sweat an ocean in two minutes, it seems. It's disgusting, and I am so self-conscious about it. What’s one memory you wish would just vanish? Just a specific moment with Jason that is particularly agonizing to recall. Are you in love with someone? No. Partying or watching a movie? Partying isn't my thing. I'd have more fun watching a movie with friends. What pisses you off the most? Child molesters/rapists, probably. Where do you want to be at a year from now? I just want a job by then, dude. I also hope I've lost a lot of weight. Do you like pickles? Only dill pickles. If you saw someone broken down on the side of the road, would you stop to help? Honestly, no. I don't trust people. What do you do with your plastic grocery bags after you unload your things? We put our plastic bags into one big bag for later use. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yes. How often do you use Flickr? I don't. I only ever check my friend's for meerkat photos, ha ha. Share three nice memories you have of the person you fell hardest for. No, unless you want me to cry. Have you ever made any of your friends cry? Not deliberately of course, but yes. Do you look decent in your most recent photograph? God no, I look high. Out of all the guys you know, who would you trust to not cheat on you? Girt. I know he never would, especially because HE'S been cheated on. How do you plan on disciplining your children? NOT by physical means, I can tell you that much. If I actually had kids, I'd teach them through (hopefully) primarily deeply talking things out. If need be, there'd be time out, grounding, things like that. I do NOT support methods like spanking your kid, so that's a big no. If you could live in another country, would you? What country? Yes; Canada. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Quinn, probably. What’s one health problem you wish you didn’t have? It's a tie between depression and anxiety. What is your cure for hiccups? NOTHING works for me. It's the worst. Did you ever do anything in class that annoyed other students? I mean, I don't think so. Have you used a Ouija board and had a freaky experience with it? I've never messed with one, and I don't want to. I don't know if I believe in their supernatural abilities or not, but I ain't fuckin around and finding out. Do you stick with a political party, or vote for who you like best? I pick based on their policies and morals, not necessarily their party. Do you know anyone who is an albino? No. Word search or crossword puzzle? Word searches. When you watch a game show, do you like to see people win or lose? Aw, who wants to see them lose? It's great to see people win and be so excited. Do you have a pair of fake redneck, vampire, etc. teeth? No. What is your favorite Pixar film? Finding Nemo. Do you get really mad when you lose a game? Not at all. I'm not very competitive, and games are about having fun. When was the last time you used a pay phone? I actually don't think I ever have. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Jason. Do you go to church every Sunday? I never go to church as I'm not religious. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? Who the fuck cares. If they're comfortable and at least have a shirt on, let 'em. Most women have breasts, big whoop. Do you even like politics? God no. What’s it like at raves? Oh god, I'd never go. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? lol yes

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''self esteem'' by the offspring

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john-dumbear · 3 years

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The Cult Self-Titled Album Review.

In this tumblog I will be sharing my thoughts on the album The Cult by the band The Cult. It was released in 1994. I heard about one of the songs off this album and decided to listen to it. I loved the song and actually felt like listening to songs I’ve never heard before (which doesn’t happen often) so I decided to listen to the whole album. Each song review will be my first thoughts. This is my first time listening to the album, and the first time really diving into The Cults music. I know nothing about this band except for the fact that they did “She Sells Sanctuary” and that Xana and Andrew were friends with them. Some of this is written as I’m listening to the song for the very first time, and some of them is later when I came back to the song (so it would be my second or third time hearing the song).

Track listing (12 tracks in total):

Gone

Coming Down (Drug Tongue)

Real Grrrl

Black Sun

Naturally High

Joy

Star

Sacred Life

Be Free

Universal You

Emperors New Horse

Saints Are Down

Here’s my thoughts on each song:

As Gone began to play the instrumentation immediately made me think of music that would play in the scene of a movie where they’re either showing a creepy trance, or a sleazy man walking into a sleazy bar. Once the instrumentation really kicked in I wasn’t thinking of that anymore. I love Ian’s vocals on the song. Really pleasant to my ears. I love the way he sings the word “say”. I don’t know why, but something about it is extra cool. The lyrics talk about someone who gets high all the time and the main character of the song (maybe Ian himself, I don’t know) saying that it’s better to get clean and not do drugs. As a straight edge person, I really do like songs that warn against drugs. This song is really cool. I like it a lot.

Coming Down (Drug Tongue) has some weird sounding lyrics that make me laugh. Like, what the hell does a random fear of horses have to do with drugs and kissing/having sex with a girl? I quite like the instrumentation and the vocals, the lyrics just gross me out a bit. As a sex repulsed asexual, I’ve never really liked songs with lyrics about sex that much. This song feels very 90s to me (obviously). If I heard this song and didn’t know when it was released I’d say “1990s”. The other songs not so much.

I love the drums in Real Grrrl and the instrumentals in general. I love the “NA NA” part of the song as well. The lyrics seem to be about sex, so of course I don’t like the lyrics. If the song had different lyrics it would probably be one of my favorites off the album.

Black Sun is a song that actually kinda creeps me out when it comes to the instrumentation. I don’t know why, but it reminds me of certain people that creep me out. Definitely a turn off. I like the vocals of the song. The lyrics seem to be talking about a kid being abused and the abusers feeling guilty for what they’ve done. I feel like this topic needs to be talked about more. It’s a serious issue. Overall I do like the song, but it’s probably my least favorite off the album.

Naturally High came on and I instantly fell in love with the instrumentation. I love hand drums and immediately thought of the jungle, tropical rainforests, African safaris, and Tahitian drumming. I love the smooth, easy to dance to, mellow but not mellow vibes from the instrumentation. It makes me want to find a friend who likes this song and dance with them. The lyrics seem to be deep and personal and I always love that in a song. I love the way Ian’s vocals flow with the instruments. It feels like a good “driving alone in your car on a trip” song to me. Once I finally have my license and a job and go on a solo road trip, I’ll definitely be playing this song a lot.

With Joy, the instrumentation gives me a certain vibe that I just can’t describe. I have always been one to see an object or hear a sound and immediately go “this makes me think of the word ___!” That word is my personal name of the item and fits perfectly with the item in my mind. That word may be an actual word, or it may be gibberish. The reason I’m mentioning this is because the instrumentation makes me think of the word “funk”. I’m not sure why, but it does. To me, Funk seems like it would be the perfect title for the song if there were no vocals. The organ part obviously makes me thing of Halloween and goth vibes (like stereotypical goth vibes). I heard the castanets in one little part. I love the castanets. That was fun to hear. Another song that gives me driving/road trip vibes because of the lyric “I rode in that car as far as it would take me, take me.” Some of the lyrics are also in Come Down (Drug Tongue), which leaves me confused. Why would they put some lyrics in both songs off of one album? It kinda reminds me of the song Shotgun Wedding by Malfunkshun. Andrew uses lyrics in that song that he later uses in his song Man Of Golden Words by his other band Mother Love Bone.

The instrumentation to Star is also great. Man this band is really good. I need to listen to their other work. For some reason this instrumentation reminds me of nu metal. I don’t know why it would. This is not a nu metal song, it’s actually kinda close to grunge. I also think of the word “funk” for some reason.

Sacred Life. Oh man this song is sad. This song talks about the early and tragic deaths of young people. He sings about Kurt Cobain, who was the singer of Nirvana, and Andrew Wood, who was the singer for Malfunkshun and Mother Love Bone. These two people are some of my favorite singers at the moment, so that’s how I heard about this song. I’ve always liked songs that talk about death. I don’t know why. I even have a playlist full of them. The instrumentation and vocal melodies/tune has this mellow and relaxing yet somber and melancholic vibes to it. The song feels very “autumn” to me. Especially the instrumental part that comes before Ian mentions Kurt. It feels “Halloween-y” to me. The song also gives me summer vibes. I can picture it being late summer and some one is being sad about a loved one’s death and about the fact the summer is ending. I love the lyrics and how it feels so relatable to many people and still be very personal to Ian.

Be Free is a very bouncy song that is hard not to dance to. This song is playing as I’m typing. I am having a hard time actually typing instead of dancing. The lyrics don’t really seem all that interesting. Over all it seems like Ian is saying “go and have sex if you want to! Do whatever you want.” As a sex repulsed asexual, these lyrics just don’t attract me. Not a bad song. It’s fun, just not my favorite.

Universal You sounds vaguely grungy and like KoЯn. I think there’s a KoЯn song with a vocal part that sounds similar to a vocal part in this song. I can’t think of that song it is, though. I love everything but the lyrics. I’m not sure what the lyrics are talking about whatsoever. I am a Christian and every time I hear a song mention god or religion, I immediately look up the lyrics. I personally refuse to listen to any song that is anti-Christian. The lyrics don’t seem to be anti-Christian which is good, but I still don’t know what they’re about. The lyrics are just okay, and everything else about the song is awesome.

Emperor's New Horse comes on and Ian randomly shouts at the beginning. That sounds weird and hilarious. I can definitely headbang to the chorus. The lyrics seem to be similar to Sacred Life, however this song doesn't directly mention anyone’s names. The song talks about how people need to get clean and sober. People need to change their life around.

The drums in Saints Are Down sound familiar, but I can’t think of what song sounds similar. Overall the song seem pretty mellow at first, but then it really kicks in and gets less mellow. I like that a lot. The lyrics confuse me. At first I thought he might be talking about drugs, but now I’m thinking he’s talking about a relationship. Not a bad song, but I’m not as into this one.

Overall thoughts on the album and personal rating:

This album is really good. I’d give it a 7 out of 10. Overall I like son songs and can dance to them. I’m sure I’ll eventually be singing along to some of them. Not my favorite album, but I like it enough to put on my front to back albums list. My F2B albums list is any album I like where I won’t be constantly skipping songs. More on this list in another tumblog.

#album review #the cult #tumblog #first listen #my first review

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nyrator · 4 years

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some more ny life updates, feat. MBTI stuff, dreams, financial decisions, ACNH checklists, and Radiohead opinions

incredibly depressed lately to be honest, but trying not to be too depressed for this post- basically a place to vent without being super negative because it be public and stuff, helps calm me down, maybe

helping other people with depression is too hard for me, I think. Feels bad to distance myself, but I think avoiding rumination is all I can do when it gets to that point

decided to re-take one of those personality things recently because why not, friends were doing it. I don’t hold much weight to them personally but at least I seem to be consistently this result every few years

for reference, an earlier test:

https://www.16personalities.com/istp-personality

reading through the weaknesses and romantic parts, it almost eerie how it describes me. It’s wrong on the sex part, but feels right just about everywhere else. They even quote me on saying this at the end part. The nice thing is, apparently Kresna’s personality result is my ideal match, which is fitting.

I tend to think my personality is a very flawed one, unfortunately, at least when it comes to social relationships. I don’t like being flattered or praised, nor do I tend to show appreciation to those that deserve it, I feel. Feeling people are slighted by my lack of attention or affection for them more and more.

Energy in general is such a hard thing to grasp. Lately I just can’t seem to do or focus on anything, nor do I have any strong desires to do anything. Feels hard to draw or make anything, and I’m wondering how I’ll finish up that Artfight thing. All I want to do is lay in bed and sleep, maybe just change my sleep schedule and only be awake when no one else is, and just keep to myself

been laying in bed a lot lately, and I’ve noticed a trend in actually having dreams when I’m taking a nap- or at least, that weird “trying to take a nap but keeping eyes half-open basically because I don’t actually want to fall asleep” zone

both dreams I had this week involved different things that I forget, but the core part was basically my family assaulting me, pinning me to the wall, and speaking my darkest secrets into my ear.

First one was my late sister being a prick and possibly uncovering my secret and me trying to get rid of her, while her boyfriend grabs me by the throat and lifts me off the ground into the wall as she mocks me. Second one that I just had earlier tonight, I don’t even remember the context, but basically had my mother disgusted by me, forcefully pinning my arm behind my back and slamming me face first into a wall, telling me she’s aware and disgusted by all my secrets.

Earlier this month, I also had one of my first dreams in months, but it was one of my reoccurring humiliation dreams. Except this time, there was blood. It was a very uncomfortable dream.

I wonder if these dreams mean anything about my psyche or whatever lately.

but yeah, have a lot of money lately, yet still feels sickening to spend money on myself still. I feel like I’ve spent too much on myself lately, and it feels bleh. I like spending money on Kresna, but he doesn’t let me do it often, but it’s always appreciated when he does.

ended up setting up an eye exam in three weeks- decided to order my own frames this time, but shopping for frames is hard. Ended up buying these two (since I always seem to have to buy two pairs for some probably insurance-related reason), but frames are extremely hard to shop for, at least for me, and that lavender look I like is extremely hard to come by

I wonder if I show my appreciation for lavender too much- I think I want to go for thicker frames like the top one, though the bottom ones are like my old frames (same company), and have that metallic lavender look that I love. If I ever had a dream car, it’d be in that color, honestly.

speaking of cars, my neighbor is trying to sell us her old 1997 Saturn for $250, but I’m not sure if I want it, to be honest- One, it’s so old, two, it’s a stick, which I only have basic knowledge on how to drive, and three, I don’t like driving. I think my mother told her yes, which is unfortunate, but we’ll see how it goes.

some other financial decisions lately- bedding, bottles, and slippers (not shown- the more convenient backless purple slippers I now regularly wear, as well as more personal items)

throw pillows are good for holding while sleeping and for preventing my arms from waking up entirely numb sometimes

been thinking about buying more clothes and furniture, but now that I probably won’t be getting the extra $1000 with my unemployment, it’s even harder to justify buying anything. I’d like a new desk, at least- something able to display things would be nice. My boss told me I’ll be going back to work soon hopefully, so that would be nice, especially since this virus is a good excuse to not bring back my coworker and to give me full-time hours, but even then, spending money is hard. Been thinking about a new mousepad since I’ve had this old one for longer than I can remember (probably a college gift), but even something simple like that is tough.

in other random news, slowly trying to make progress in ACNH still- and by that I mean I’ve finally started keeping a checklist for items (had Bugs/Fish already, but now have DIYs and man there’s so many DIYs I’m missing, also Dresses - Umbrella tabs of clothing, basically everything but Tops and Bottoms so far, and mannn, there’s a lot of stuff, but I basically have almost every accessory/sock/shoe in purple/pink at least, now just grinding my way through the rest of the colors I skipped. Also caught a Golden Stag today, only three beetles left (Giraffe, Hercules, and Elephant, I believe)

should probably start saving my extra bugs/fish for making models for Justin Beaver and Hot Topic, I realize- collecting those models really doesn’t interest me much, but at the same time, I have a weird obsession with trying to 100% Animal Crossing games (at a reasonable speed, of course- figure I’d wait until next year to worry about those two)

haven’t tried dreaming yet and honestly my island is still a mess that I’m still hesitant because I still have no idea what to fill it with or how to organize it

one last thing I did buy is the rest of the Radiohead albums though- I now own all their albums, except disc 2 of In Rainbows, though. Should probably listen to that on Youtube, not sure where to find a physical release of it. Decided to rank them, because I like ranking things apparently, even though overall it doesn’t mean much since my tastes shift constantly, and every album is good to listen to in my opinion (honestly more of a way of solidifying a future “best of” playlist)

Personal feelings of ranking at the moment:

Hail to the Thief (every song is top tier, I just want to shout them all out, but in particular I think “A Punchup at a Wedding“, “Myxomatosis“, “2+2=5″, and “Sit down. Stand up” are my favorites)

In Rainbows (my old favorite before HttT blew it away, though I think ”Weird Fishes/Arpeggi” is still my favorite Radiohead song, also shout outs to “Videotape” and “Jigsaw Falling Into Place”)

Kid A (I was lukewarm to the album at first, but it has a lot of tunes that stand out to me, “Idioteque” is also one of my favorite Radiohead songs, also shout outs to "Everything in Its Right Place" and "How to Disappear Completely")

OK Computer (this is where placings start getting fuzzy, “Paranoid Android” was their first song I ever listened to and loved back in high school, thanks to Ergo Proxy, great song, though I think I’ve oversaturated myself to this album by having it play as my driving music when I still had a car. Shout outs to “Exit Music (For A Film)” and “Let Down”. “Karma Police” is also up there but feels a bit less than those I suppose)

A Moon Shaped Pool (I’d place this higher when I’m looking for a more somber/reflective album to listen to, otherwise about tied with OK Computer. My favorite on the album, “Daydreaming”, is what reintroduced me to Radiohead and got me obsessed with them- this album was my first album, though it’s definitely softer compared to their usual stuff. Also driving music so a bit oversaturated, and it feels harder to shout out specific songs, but shout outs “Ful Stop”, “Glass Eyes”, and heck, basically most of the later songs on the album)

Amnesiac (Some good songs, but just not to the levels of the others. “Knives Out” is a great song though, and I tend to like the first half of the album more than the last half, last half is pretty weak to me honestly- though I got it fairly recently, so may require more listenings)

Pablo Honey (the latest album I got, so it’s still fresh in my head and thus nothing is permanent with it compared to the others, but mannn, people undersold this album, it feels solid front to back. I honestly want to put it higher, I think. Hard to identify individual songs, but shout outs to “Blow Out” in particular, “I Can’t” as well- but again, every song is great, so might say it’s close to A Moon Shaped Pool levels in rankings)

The Bends (one of their first albums I got, also a car album, but definitely didn’t click with me like the others. I have warmed up to it more than I originally did at least- I mainly got the album because heck yeah “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” is a great track, also shout outs to “The Black Star”, that’s like, one of my random “mouth out the chorus in the car” songs. I also tend to have “High and Dry” in my head a lot for some reason, but yeah, good car music, but not much else going for it I think)

The King of Limbs (the second-latest album I own and also the least listened to album I own, but it feels very... non-standout-ish. Like it’s almost too simple-sounding, or repetitive, or something, definitely the weakest album in my personal opinion. Can’t even think of a song to shout out, so I guess “Lotus Flower”, honestly, but again, I need to listen to the album more. Good background noise but just nothing that jumps out at me)

but yeah radiohead is definitely my favorite music group, I’d say, and also realize almost every album has a bonus disc, so hm, more music to find it seems (admittedly I’m not a fan of live music in general, which seems to fill up a lot of these bonus discs)

#text stuffs #nyrants

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justapayneaway · 4 years

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Okay so the video had some shit that I could potentially understand from an outsider's point of view but hell this is just plain stupid. The Harry situation was clearly a joke. Yeah I guess how he said it might have stung and made people question his thought but he was clearly joking. (1/?) (This is about that video with the hateful remarks of Liam, I thought maybe I should rant about it. Pay in mind it was late and I already had a crap mood so I'm pretty not okay during this rant)

The girlfriend situation, don't even start with it. Yeah she's 18, that girl ain't 19 and even if she was, internet really did her wrong by finding ways to show she aint. That situation fucked up Liam even more and idc if he loves her or whatever but it clearly didnt do him justice and I wish they never made it public, even if it's a stunt or a "real" couple. Like that made people hate him more. (2/?)

The merch is people's choice. I hate the hoodie but I like the t-shirt. He has the rights to sell whatever he wants. His album might be expensive online but its cheap af in stores. It costs 15$ cad here which is nothing compared to the others's album (Louis doesn't count). (3/?)

Mr. Boring" was given by hateful people because he looks like that jock guy that wants to fuck you and leave you like a rag but we dont even know him. Nobody knows any of the boys so this is just a wrong thing. This could be his persona or the real him but what does that do you? Y'all really love to make him look bad with any ounce of being you have. This boy is much more than Mr. Boring but all of you fuck him up constantly so of course he comes of different. (4/?)

I wouldn't blame him, if people always told me I was the worst or boring, you will try not to be or shut everyone out. Cringeworthy lyrics? OH GOD YES! But some of his tracks on Lp1 aren't as much. Stack it Up sucked balls and I wish its death because it was horrible. Strip that down is that generic song you find in clubs which is fine. All his songs lack something for sure but they are still very good. (5/?)

Lyrics wise he said he didnt have inspiration to write which honestly I don't blame him, maybe he ain't a wordy person to open up and ask people to write shit for him and I dont blame him. He gave what he could and I'm proud of him. Yeah some lyrics are problematic af and I wish they worded it better or made it look less crappy but what can we do? (6/?)

A lot of artists write like that but no! LIAM JAMES PAYNE has to be hated on it as if he is the only one who does those kind of lyrics. Some artists have the same intentions but some aren't as straightforward but still, it's all the same. Plus, Rude Hours and Both Ways are like 2 songs and he gets dragged on repeat for it when there are good songs on the album. (7/?)

I hate his team for making 3 different albums with the target one with 2 bonus and the Japanese one with 3 extra bonuses and that sucks. His features should've been out of the album and have those 5 beautiful bonus songs in instead. The Christmas one should have been off the album. Stack it up was a failure from the start. (8/?)

I just wish people would stop hating on him and always drag him down. He is much more but I see what those people see because Liam ain't himself and he didnt give his 100% but he seems okay enough to have this album out and seems pretty proud so just give him some rest. This album ain't as bad people make it to be. People hate those 2 problematic songs and wont even listen to the other songs. (9/?)

And not everyone has the same music taste. I like "sexual" pop music and rock. His music are those generic sex songs and that isnt a bad thing. If he likes doing it, who is to tell him to not do that? Y'all really compare him to 1D Eras and the bandmates but they are different. Liam maybe likes these 'popular' shit and what does that do you? Liam is human. Liam is Liam. We cant do shit and he lives his life. Give him a break jeez.. (10/10) [sorry for this rant, you can hate me if you want to]

__________________

Okay anon I don’t hate you at all! This is well thought and I do agree with a lot of point you made here. I’ll try making a few comments by ask since this is big lmao

BTW SUPER IMPORTANT: don’t watch that video and don’t spread it! Report it if you feel like doing something about it.

1. But what even is the Harry situation? Him saying that they aren’t best friends? Or that they have much in common? Because that’s understandable. Or is it the “harry’s clothes�� comment of 2017 that harries keep bringing up when you can clearly see that Liam was just joking?

2. I do agree with you! The situation with the teenager just made things way worse for him. It added a lot of hate and it was completely unnecessary, especially how they keep bringing her up every single time and how she is always there!

3. I actually like his merch. I think it’s simple, but the white t-shirt is amazing. Sure the hoodies could have been more elaborated, but they’re super cozy! The thing I appreciate most about his merch is that it’s actually affordable. Btw I agree that it’s personal taste. His album is kind of cheap compared to other albums I've bought.

4. But the thing for me is that Liam was never boring. He is smart and has a brilliant dark sense of humor. I think that some old 1d fans didn't like him much because he was always the spokesperson and had to say the shit nobody wanted to be said. People don’t seem to want to get past that to be honest with you!

5. I agree with you! I really prefer Liam to shut up these fucking people with his success and what he wants to do that being an underwear campaign. Sure, some of the lyrics aren’t poetic shit, but there are others that are really deep and have some dark themes behind them. The songs aren’t bad at all in my opinion. SIU should have never been released, but I think we can all agree with that one!

6. I do think that Liam wasn’t 100% inspired, but I also feel like these are the songs we were supposed to get last year. They aren’t current if that makes sense, so of course some lyrics aren’t worded okay.

7. I never thought it was a bad thing to use lyrics written by other people. That’s literally why songwriters exist! And a lot of people don’t write their own lyrics, but apparently it’s only bad for Liam to do it. I do agree! He is getting dragged for two songs.

8. I don’t understand why they made three different albums. I understand wanting to keep the old songs because in terms of certifications/streams it gives him an advantage, but the extra songs are so damn good! They deserved more than this and he actually wrote on them. With the whole thing of the album I really don’t understand why AIWFC was added!

9. I think you say it all with this part “This album ain’t as bad as people make it to be”. That’s the truth! I like the album and sure I'd do thing differently, probably. But I think people are judging the album based on BW and they are just going along with the hate. This album is exactly what Liam said it was going to be! A mix of songs that felt like a playlist with different genres.

10. It’s a personal taste thing again! I consume all kinds of music, I’m eclectic. I’ve been like that since I was a kid and learnt to play music. It isn’t bad that Liam is showing what kind of music he did and experimenting with different genres. For me it makes him a more complete artist to be honest with you! I really hate that they keep comparing them. Just let them all be whatever the fuck they want!!

In conclusion, I don’t understand the hate and I wish it would end.

(Hope this answers you and don’t feel bad about ranting! It’s good to let it out.)

#Liam Payne #stunts #lp1 #this got really fucking big #wow so sorry if people bother to read this #Anonymous

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mccoys-killer-queen · 4 years

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This week’s playlist (2/28)

This week is underappreciated songs from some artists. After this week I’m gonna take a break from this to come across different songs and see which ones I’ll shove in your faces some other time

1.) If I’d Been the One- 38 Special (1983)

This is the lead song off the 1983 album Tour De Force (and every song on there is DIVINE if I do say so myself). It’s the classic “put yourself in my shoes” song- “can you read my mind? Take a good look at my face” it’s just all catchy hooks galore. 38 Special needs a hell of a lot more appreciation from the Classic Rock Fandom on here. They’re like Lynyrd Skynyrd but less country and and more rock/pop. I almost put “In Your Eyes Tonight” on this list instead of this song, so I’d recommend that from this album too if you liked this one enough.

2.) Sing to Me- REO Speedwagon (1978)

Put on your long silk robe and stand on your balcony because it’s time for a POWERFULLY PASSIONATE song. It’s roughly two and a half minutes of wOw. I love Gary Richrath so much and this song hurts even more whenever I remind myself that it was written by him. When you start a song with “sundown, summer is fading” you get that nostalgia straight away. You’ll feel the wind in your hair as you gaze upon a sunset, you’ll feel the anticipation when that guitar solo hits, and you’ll feel like nothing will ever be the same. Would also highly recommend this album as well.

3.) Comin Under Fire- Def Leppard (1983)

By far the most underappreciated song off of Pyromania. The most appreciation they ever gave this song was putting it on the b side of Foolin (for some releases). They’ve played every song off of Pyromania live before EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE. It pisses me off! I think this song is the precise moment that Def Leppard came out of their fetus era and started molding into the superstars they were destined to become. This song is a combination of their early 80s style/sound plus their new found style that can heard on the rest of Pyromania. All in all, it’s BADASS. I hope they perform it live someday (specifically when I see them later this year...)

4.) Learn How to Live- Billy Squier (1982)

Holy mother of internal crisis part 2. I always like to think of the speaker in this song as someone who’s talking to himself and trying to reason with himself. “You’ve got a lot to learn, you play in the fire, you might get burned”, it just sounds like he’s trying to give advice to someone, but he gets to desperate as the song goes on that it sounds like he’s becoming more frantic at himself and trying to sell his convincing even more. The lyrics here are really the selling point of this song. The chorus is just pure poetry to me- “Learn how to give, learn how to take, learn how to live before it’s too late. Learn how to bend, learn how to break, learn how to mend broken heartaches. Learn to forgive, learn how to wait, learn how to live before it’s too late.”

5.) Gonna Raise Hell- Cheap Trick (1979)

If you like a funky, sexy, groovy bass line, here you go. The Dream Police album is legendary in so many ways, but this song is what really sells it for me. This is definitely a stripper song for me. 9 minutes of pure badass grooving. Cheap Trick also deserves more appreciation on here. Dream Police is totally an album to listen to if you’re looking to get into them. Just make yourself bop to that bass line and that’s all you need to be sold for the entire song.

6.) The Long Run- Eagles (1979)

My favorite Eagles song. Chill, but in a bright and happy way. Gives you summer afternoon vibes. A bright look to the future with some killer but simple guitar riffs. You want some good 70s vibes? Look no further. This song is just sunshine all around, baby. Slow but groovy in the way that only the Eagles can convey. What more do I need to say in order to sell it?

7.) Mississippi Kid- Lynyrd Skynyrd (1973)

I don’t really have many words for this song, because there’s not much too it! Just listen to it and you’ll see what I mean. It’s definitely an earworm. Prepared to be blown away- but definitely not in the way you expected. This is definitely a minimalistic song- it’s so simple, but it’s just flat out awesome.

8.) Sweet Jane- Mott the Hoople (1972)

These guys also need more appreciation on here. Joe Elliott can’t do all the work when it comes to spreading the word of Mott! This album is also a wonderful album to listen to if you’re trying to get into Mott. This is the lead song off All the Young Dudes, and it- like The Long Run- is sunshine and good 70s vibes all around. It was also written by Bowie...

9.) Dreamers Ball- Queen (1978)

Where’s the Jazz appreciation on this site?? Apart from Fat Bottomed Girls, this song is my favorite song off the album. It’s mellow and is kinda slow swingy-jazzy-waltzy, just classy slow dance material in general. And yes, it’s another Brian May baby. “Take me, hold me, remember what you told me” it’s also so sad! The speaker’s down in the dumps because his lover/dancing partner left him, but he knows that he can go to the “dreamers ball” and dream of them instead.

10.) Take Me to the Pilot- Elton John (1970)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You all know this as the sex scene song from Rocketman, but push that aside and focus on the song itself for a moment. It’s kinda like My Kinda Lover but for the 70s, in my opinion. The lyrics don’t really make any sense, but I feel like it’s kinda along the lines of “I’m truly yours, so take me straight to your soul” but then again, who knows? It’s a bop no matter what.

(Spotify playlist)

#i wrote 80% of this while tipsy ngl #it was easier to write #38 special #reo speedwagon #def Leppard #billy squier #cheap trick #eagles #lynyrd skynyrd #mott the hoople #Queen #Elton John #Rocketman

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troutfishinginmusic · 4 years

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An album guide to Fuck

Fuck started with a limitation. If you can get past the giggly name, there’s a lot to take in. Off-kilter and slightly unsettling, Fuck is a band that falls between transgressive and heartwarming. In its brief moment of prominence in the Matador stable, the band was seen by critics as a quirky cousin to Pavement. This is selling the band short. A trip through the band’s discography shows one of the American underground’s most unheralded acts. As I go through all of Fuck’s albums I feel like I’m missing out on some kind of big in-joke. But, since there’s so little about the band out there, I wanted to try sum up its discography anyway. All these albums are pretty hard to find, luckily they’re all on Spotify.

Pretty…Slow (1996)

It’s amazing how fully formed Fuck sounds on its debut. The production is a bit shabby, but most of the songs still hold the same vaguely creepy aurora. Opener “Wrongy Wrong” doesn’t say much explicitly, but creates an atmosphere of unease that’s unique to the band. While the louder songs are performed competently, the slower songs (like “I Am Your King,” “From Heaven” and closer “Shotgun (H) Ours”) are where Fuck really shines. As the band went on, the noisier moments would be reined in a bit. Depending on your preference, this might be a downside. Pretty…Slow is a strong debut from a band that knew exactly what it wanted to be from the start.

Baby Loves a Funny Bunny (1996)

Listening to this makes you realize what Matador saw in the band. Things sound a bit more focused, while retaining the same strangeness of the previous album. “Love Me 2” and “Tired” are great examples noisy lo-fi guitar rock. The midsection of the album shows the band improving on affecting folk/country songs about misfits even further. “Part of Me” might be one of Fuck’s best songs, showcasing its talent for heart-breaking slow-burners. The back half of the album is more mixed. “Rococo” is a relatively straightforward rock song (in sound at least), while “Like You” sounds like a Nirvana outtake. “Loosened Mind” is a quirky song that employs a lot of atypical instruments (triangles?) to create something more detailed and psychedelic than usual. “Crush a Butterfly,” another great slow song, is followed by “Whimper and Cry.” What might set off red flags at first blush is actually, as far as I can tell, a song about S&M in a surprisingly sincere way. Other aspects of the album have aged worse (example: The usage of the word “retard” on one song). Baby Loves a Funny Bunny is strange album, but it ultimately made good on the promise of the band’s debut.

Pardon My French (1997)

Mass appeal? Filled with off-center bummer country, Pardon My French stands as a record that could’ve brought the band a larger audience. Strung together like overhearing a bunch of strange inside jokes that you want to understand. The songs are short and work best when taken as part of a whole. Some (like “Bestest Friend,” “Tether” and “For Lori”) could’ve found their way to alternative radio. Aspects of Pardon My French are just as affecting as more “ponderous” contemporaries like Smog and Cat Power. A great marijuana record (I hate to reducing any record to that), shifting from jokey to melancholy. French stands as a great “indie” album from the 90s. Yet it’s still a bit too scattered to be considered the band’s best work. There’s something preserved here, and throughout the Fuck’s discography, that was lost when the genre became more popular.

Conduct (1998)

There’s a certain darkness to this one. Some of the lighthearted nature of French is lost, which is surprising for a band called Fuck. Louder and a bit more unhinged, Conduct tries for something new and expands the band’s pallet a bit. It’s a fractured, drunken masterpiece that sounds more confident than French. There’s a loveliness to direct songs like “Drinking Artist,” “Laundry Shop,” “Never Comin’ Back,” “Get Over Him” and closer “Blind Beauty.” Even goofs like “Monkey Doll” and “Twist Off” are still pretty convincing. Melancholy folk/country is still where the band shines the best, though. Conduct is more like a collection of songs than a collection of interesting sketches. It’s possibly the band’s finest moment.

Cupid’s Cactus (2001)

This one loses some of the immediacy and memorability of Conduct. The opener “Glass Charms” dispels any potential sincerity with a faux-country accent part. Yet, after that point, the music of Cupid’s Cactus is even darker and slower moving than Conduct. A better point of comparison would be a more joke-y Low rather than Pavement. “Someday Aisle” is a gorgeous meditation that feels like a good companion to closing time at a bar. While Fuck was never bad at louder songs, the decision to focus on the slowcore side of its sound was a good idea. That said, the louder songs like “Awright” and “Never Alone” are still highlights and break things up a bit.

“Panties off” is a horribly depressing song about prostitution for drugs (I think), but gets across something the band has alluded to in more subtle ways on previous albums. The intention seems to be that sadness exists but there’s unintentional humor that’s impossible avoid even in the worst times. Some could read into this as mean-spirited or trivializing, but there’s something deeper and more complicated at work in these songs. This is something Fuck conveys better than say Ween.

Those Aren’t My Bongos (2003)

This might be the quintessential Fuck album. It gets its point across more clearly than the previous albums and sounds downright pretty. Those Aren’t My Bongos opens immediately questioning the audience’s uptight opinions on sex: “Does the penis offend you? Do the female charms alarm?” This might be the right disclaimer for every Fuck album. It seems like the band’s overarching goal is to create a sense of empathy and discuss the awkward parts of sex more openly. This is all done with a goofy lightheartedness to help balance the darker passages. The romantic acoustic strum of “Her Plastic Acupuncture Foot” was my introduction to the band. I’d argue it’s one of its best songs. How many bands can successfully weave a cartoon blowjob reference into something so romantic? Throughout the album some slight electronics are used as accents, working to vary the band’s sound a bit. Taking out individual moments on this one doesn’t really make sense; it definitely works better together. One that’s impossible not to mention, though, is the gorgeous “How to Say.” The song might be one of Fuck’s strangest considering how direct and sincere it is. TAMB is a patchwork of strange jokes and melancholy swirling together to make a truly unique statement. It rivals Conduct as the band’s best album.

The Band (2018)

It seemed like Fuck all but disappeared after Those Aren’t My Bongos. I was beyond shocked to see they were back together and had a new album out. This one sticks closer to albums like Pardon My French and Conduct, alternating between louder and softer songs. It’s also lighter and more jokey. “Cream Pie Patch” and “Thirsty Gnome” get closer to the balance struck on TAMB, reveling in sex jokes. It’s hard to call a Fuck album fun, but The Band definitely comes close. “Meet the Gibbons” for example is definitely sort of disturbing in its descriptions of mutilation, detracting from the fun vibe of the previous song (“Thirsty Gnome”). “Leave My Body” is a dreamy reverie of a song, leaning on the folk/country the band does so well. The back half of the album abandons the odder moments for the touching, slow-motion ballads Fuck excels at. The Band is a good example of a reunion record: A bit of a progression, a bit of a reminder. There’s something oddly comforting about that even for a band this deeply uncomfortable.

For a playlist of Fuck songs I put together click here.

#Fuck #matador records #1990s #indie rock

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rosenrot234 · 5 years

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explaining Preacher’s playlist

Putting this under a read more break because there’s a lot. I was bored so I finally tried to explain the reasons each song is there. Granted some only have a sentence or two. Not everything needs a giant essay response. Warning though, talks of abuse do take place.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLT9aIxp8n042hnvTQMd7vOTVJp2utaZwp

1: Beim Ersten Mal Tuts Immer Weh / The First Time Always Hurts -Just one last time please be nice to me Come over here Just be nice to me and come and sit beside me here Just one last time please be nice to me Come over here One more time again Come on give me just a little bit now Come on let me have a final kiss now Come on give me just a little bit now Fool me please just one more time again -I wanted to start Preacher's playlist with something surprisingly dark rather than edge into the darker parts later on. So Preacher's trauma is right in the listeners face and how in a fucked up way he still misses someone that really fucked them over. -Especially with the last bit of the song "Why don't you want me no more?" Bishop would often ignore him as punishment and it would fuck with Preacher's head a lot and how he just wanted to be in his good graces again.

2: For Your Entertainment -I call this one of his "mask" songs. How Preacher often tries to appear to people. It also ties in a bit with how confident he felt in the past when Bishop was around. I wanted to counter the "wtf" start of the playlist with something boppy. Since once Preacher catches wind that someone is figuring out what happened to him, he's all lies and glamour to distract people from talking about it.

3: You Think You're a Man -I kinda wanted to include this song because the listener would have trouble figuring out "Okay is Preacher singing this or Bishop?"

4: Message in a Bottle -Catchy little song but it helps explain how even if Preacher made a bunch of new friends he still felt isolated due to having to hide a lot as a Tiefling. -Love can mend your life But love can break your heart

5: Mony Mony -I always pictured Preacher singing this with his friends. There's not a lot to say for every single song. I just wanted to get mood music for Preacher's gang of buddies.

6: Out There -More alluding to Preacher's lonliness and how Bishop also used that to have some sort of control over him. With all his friends, Bishops word really was the only word that had meaning / value to him.

7: Medicate -Yeah Preacher's coping mechanisms weren't the healthiest

8: A Penny for a Tale -Mocking the greedy? Say no more

9: Goo Goo Muck -Lore wise I always pictured Preacher making this song up on the spot to entertain his friends

10: Lost Boys -While this song is about vampires I just felt it fit still with Preacher and his buddies. His playlist early on covers a lot of that part of his life.

11: The Rocky Road to Dublin -Yet more "Just singing with friends"

12: Zydrate Anatomy -I mean lorewise he did deal in drugs both real and fake in his mid teens so I wasted no time getting this song onto the list.

13: Open Your Eyes -More mood music to his early teens. Trust me I'll have more to say with other songs

14: Back and Forth -This song screams Preacher when he's scamming people to me

15: Drinkin with Jesus -At first I picked this one because cmon. A Tiefling called Preacher , a song called Drinkin with Jesus seemed perfect. Then I realized "Oh shit the lyrics fit". A lot of the time Preacher had to be completely alone to show just how messed up he was back then even before his assault.

16: Feel Good Inc -A lovely mix of isolation, "The world is corporate bullshit" , and more. You damn right I'm putting this on the list.

17: The Cave -Timeline wise this is a bit of a jump into the future where Preacher is in another down mood and tries to recover from it. -But I will hold on hope And I won't let you choke On the noose around your neck And I'll find strength in pain And I will change my ways I'll know my name as it's called again -That last lyric always made me think of Preacher actually maybe someday going back to using his birth name. Berlyn. And just finding his own identity again. Away from Bishops shadow. This would be around the time he grows his trademark purple mustache. It's a small decision but it was still an important decision since Bishop used to even control how he looked.

18: Devils Dance Floor -CMON. DEVILS Dance Floor. Perfect Tiefling music. I also wanted something to pick the mood of the playlist back up a little after that dip.

19: A Touch of Evil -Aka the most metal "Gay pining" song I'm aware of. The playlist takes a turn of "But I want his attention so bad" and how he wanted to be in a proper relationship with Bishop. Teenage hormones are rough so I'd imagine they'd be double rough as a Tiefling.

20: Skills in Pills -More showing Preacher's distructive habits and drug selling. I wanted to avoid putting Rammstein on the list because it'd be predictable as fuck. So I settled with Lindemann.

21: Jigolo Har Megiddo -Preacher playing up the whole "I'm made from demons" thing for flirty singing.

22: Come Out and Play -And we jump back into more "street punk shenanigans"

23: You Look So Fine -More pining and angst. I really liked sudden dips in mood with this playlist. Like his outer walls are cracking and you're getting peeks at the sensitive stuff going on in his head.

24: I Wanna be Yours -Even more pining because I'm an asshole

25: Sleeping Powder -I wanted something comical to again lift up the mood of the playlist so this song was perfect. Just that "I'm back! Where are we going?" makes me think "Okay I'm done being sad, wait what are you guys doing today?" Also the faint "broken" from 2D in some parts of the song were fitting.

26: Sandmann -Preacher's super protective of kids so this was perfect

27: Deleted this one, moving on.

28: Breaking the Habit -One of the many times Preacher TRIES to get out of his self destructive habits and loops but its left unknown if he got out this time or not. This song fits in pretty much any part of his timeline with Bishop. Adding more to the "loop" of abuse that will be talked about near the end of the playlist.

29: Unzerstorbar ( Indestructable ) -I broke my "no german lyrics" rule with this song but I HAD to. It's such a "FUCK YEAH WE'RE YOUNG AND INVINCIBLE" song that ends on a more quiet note that always made me think "Deep down they know they're not" -As a child I was - I was ahead of all. As a child I was cold and I figured out how much time I have left anyways, because I am indestructible.

I was cool - I was hard and I knew what's goin' on. I was clever and smart and have considered long, Why am I made of steel? What is the meaning that I am indestructible?

This world is so small, so much lesser than I. Super Hero - all alone. Whether I like it or not. Meanwhile, I ask myself: is there someone like me here?

30: Sympathy for the Devil -Again. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT HAVE THIS SONG ON A TIEFLING PLAYLIST?

31: All I Want -I always pictured this song during a hectic chase either in the sky or on the ground. Preacher is a speedy boy so this was a good fit ( The fact that this song was in Crazy Taxi also makes me think of speed )

32: Action -I thought this fit the mood of Unzerstorbar and wanted to continue the vibe

33: Hit That -More chaotic city vibe music

34: Down the Rabbit Hole -I wanted to include Adam Lambert again since he's early in the playlist.

35: The Heart of the Riding Man -I blame Fennah for getting me into this song. The lyrics were just such a fun match. Preacher might be a Tiefling. But Bishop will always be the "Devil" in this song. -Oh the heart, the heart of a riding man Scarred and cut himself from the devil he ran Oh, from the devil he ran

36: Komm Zuruck / Come Back -DID YALL WANT MORE PINING? Well it's back and much more chaotic this time. -I've missed you long enough asked myself, where exactly you are and if you still bite your nails we planned everything perfectly with false papers and well covered and then suddenly you did it on your own account.

I've had enough, get me out of here don't give up on me now.

Wherever you are (wherever you are) oh, I'm with you Whoever you kiss (whoever you kiss) oh, I forgive you Make your way (make your way) and then release me come back, don't make me wait

37: Sick Boys -Imma be real with you. I'm a slut for Social Distortion so I had to include SOMETHING with them

38: God is a Popstar -One of the first songs I put to this character and it's still such a perfect fit with the religious stuff in Preacher's story. The video is even nice as a helper because you could imagine Preacher is in the place of Jesus here. All dolled up then thrown away.

39: Applause -More flashy "haha nothing is wrong I just want attention" songs since Preacher is a greedy mother fucker when it comes to attention.

40: Trust Me -This is getting to the important part of the playlist. His relationship with Bishop was toxic as fuck. Preacher also did lots of things he didn't want to but the reward was Bishops attention. So with the previous song and this it really shows the leftover effects Bishop had on him. Preacher is one hell of a good liar thanks to Bishop. So in a way. He does have the risk of becoming someone elses Scorpion. Those mental walls I mentioned earlier are breaking at this point.

41: Fireflies -The sad truth that Preacher still misses and thinks about Bishop. The lyrics here are meant to really tug at you as Preacher's barrier is crumbling at this point. -If all you ever get from the sonnet is the count of the fall of man Every call and cost made to your heart You were in the kind of game that put the force in me I was ever chasing fireflies -Sometimes I follow a firefly He takes me into the night Baby, I just survive I got drunk, I'm sorry Am I losing you? Sometimes I follow a firefly He takes me into the night Baby, I just survive I got drunk, I'm sorry Am I losing you?

42: Prison Sex -Probably the most important song in the playlist. I wanted that earlier darkness to come back full force now that the listener is at probably the most vulnerable part of Preacher's head. It's disgusting and that's the point. Preacher finally fully admits to himself about his rape. And the song implies he has a huge risk of continuing Bishops cycle of abuse. Both the abuser and the abused have lyrics in this song.

43: I'm Not Jesus -This is sort of like Preacher is finally saying "No FUCK THAT. I'm not like you." This song is also about abuse so I wanted to include it. He's angry at this point and finally fighting back in his head.

44: You're Gonna Go Far, Kid -In my head this is Preacher sort of mocking himself and his skills at lying

45: Lone Digger -I wanted another song to help "lift up" the mood again since this playlist has a lot of ups and downs.

46: Money -I thought the lyrics were fitting for this part of the playlist

47: I Don't Care -Mood gets a little somber but in a more beautiful way than flat out heartache or suffering. A little more of Preacher rebelling finally against Bishop

48: Creep -But in the end all his rebellion eventually leads to him being depressed. Bishop is gone from his life at this point. But he's clearly still lingering in his head. No matter how much he tries to ignore it.

49: Souk Eye -The finale where Preacher admits he'll always have Bishop in his thoughts even if he also knows damn well to never deal with him ever again. Even if sometimes it hurts like hell.

I wanted this playlist to be able to go on a loop and make sense. His moods are often on a cycle of "Fuck yeah I'm awesome! Fuck you Bishop!" to "Dammit we could have been so good for each other in another life wtf" It just repeats and repeats much like how people repeat their own cycles after trauma or abuse.

#Preacher #DnD #Tiefling

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xfcklprtehkrx · 4 years

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Follow the Music

Received this question from @beyondkailani : I'd be interested in your views on the episode titles, especially those released for season 2. I find some of the implications interesting - Sex and Candy being followed immediately by Como la flor for example. Very different in tone!

Okay the episode song titles thing is really fun. For S01 I was familiar with every song, and yay cause even some of my old favorite bands in there. Nirvana, Everclear, Aerosmith, and Counting Crows? Can’t go wrong. Once the episode with Rosa’s CD happened I realized the episode titles were doing the same thing, but I think for most episodes it’s way more literal than others. Since we’ve made it through S01 already I’m gonna mostly focus on S02.

I made a youtube playlist with lyrics for the sake of review: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu6cxfqCMO9l7f1jJlLLgCzQELAo7W-BZ

2X1 Stay (I Missed You) (Lisa Loeb) Okay this song, the lyrics are 100% about Michael and Alex. Lyrics strangely seem like the inevitable moment of real separation between them because Michael is with someone else. It also smacks a little bit of their reluctance to let go of each other for so long. Now the title could be a direct point to both Rosa and Max seeming to be dead at the end of S01. I mean Rosa was dead for 10 years. She can’t just come back to life, so if she’s going to live, she can’t stay in Roswell. Even if Rosa could stay, what about all her drama with Isobel? Problems. I mean she was Noah at the time, but Rosa doesn’t know that, so they can either tell her or have it be a constant problem. There’s also a chance Rosa already knows and she was going to tell her dad, so she doesn’t exactly scream ‘support the alien conspiracy’ to me.

I don't pay attention To the distance That you're running or to Anyone anywhere

I don't understand if you really care I'm only hearing negative, no no no, bad

So I, I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up And this woman was singing my song Lovers in love and the other's run away Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay

And you said that I was naive And I thought that I was strong I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave" Oh but now I know that I was wrong 'Cause I missed you Yeah, I missed you

You said, "you caught me cause you want me And one day I'll let you go" You try to give away a keeper Or keep me 'cause you know you're just so Scared to lose

2X2 Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space (Spiritualized) This one is all ‘I can’t help falling in love with you’. That speaks to me of Michael and Maria. Could also be a Liz leans on Kyle thing too, assuming Max is still dead. She does always run back to him, which is super unfair to Kyle. Maybe it’s also something good for Isobel. She deserves a new love after everything with Noah, so I’d rather it go that route than either of the other two.

2X3 Good Mother (Jann Arden) This episode will probably revolve around Maria’s mother, and since I predicted before that Michael’s hand and Maria’s desperation to find a cure for her mother could go sideways, I suspect some of that will happen here.

2X4 What If God Was One of Us (Joan Osbourne) As a Malex shipper I admit this is the one that interested me the most since Tyler Blackburn confirmed in this episode Alex gets a new love interest. I can’t see how this would relate to Alex in anyway, so I was disappointed to not get any further insight.

Now the lyrics make me suspect this is when Michael tells Maria he’s an alien. I mean yeah it’s ‘god’ not ‘alien’ but still some similarity there to me.

If God had a face what would it look like? And would you want to see if, seeing meant That you would have to believe in things like heaven And in Jesus and the saints, and all the prophets?

2X5 I'll Stand By You (The Pretenders) I see so many things in this one. -Rosa(assuming she’s still alive)/Liz -Max(if he’s back)/Liz -Max(if he’s back)/Isobel -Michael/Max and/or Isobel. -Kyle always being there for Liz even though he’s sort of a doormat -Kyle and Alex’s rekindled childhood friendship and Kyle being there for Alex -Tragedy strikes so Alex and Maria make up and he’s there for her or vice versa (even though I don’t foresee that lasting)

This could touch so many of the relationships on this show. It’s too generic to me, and we won’t know until we get there. Especially since so much will hinge on how they decide to handle Rosa still being alive and Max being dead.

2X6 Sex and Candy (Macy’s Playground) Now I know the word sex is in the title, but I never interpreted this in a literal way. I always assumed it was about eye sex. His eyes meeting across the room with this fantasy girl and he’s surprised she’s looking back. So maybe something romantic for Isobel or Alex. I assume by this point Maria and Michael will be together so nothing to do with them.

Hangin' round downtown by myself And I had so much time To sit and think about myself And then there she was

I smell sex and candy here Who's that lounging in my chair Who's that casting devious stares In my direction

Mama this surely is a dream Yeah mama this surely is a dream

2X7 Como La Flor (Selena) I don’t speak Spanish so I had to check out a translation for this one, but this one breaks my heart. It’s all about losing the one you love and letting them be happy with someone else. I could almost ugly cry at the implications of this song.

I know you have a new love However I wish you the best If in me, you didn't find happiness Maybe someone else will give it to you

If you saw how it hurts to lose your love With your goodbye, you take my heart I don't know if I can love again Because I gave you all the love I could give

2X8 Say It Ain't So (Wheezer) This song following the last song makes me feel like I am right about the main subject for that episode since it seems to follow the exact same line of thought, but it actually doesn’t. I suspect Jesse Manes will make an appearance here. This song is actually about a boy’s fear of his father’s alcoholism. Then again, if the person who picked it didn’t actually know what the song was really about then yes, it follows the theme of the previous song.

2X9 The Diner So I wasn’t 100% sure which song this was referencing. My mind immediately went to Tom’s Diner by Suzanne Vega, which I won’t lie, I had stuck in my head for like 6 years because I couldn’t figure out what the song was so I never heard it again. When I finally did it was sweet relief. Now there’s a ‘The Diner’ by Kaskade but it’s really just a remix of her song, so I’m going to assume that’s the song.

Now absolutely nothing in this song draws me back to this show. There is a verse at the very end that seems like it might be significant, but it’s not in the ‘the diner’ version. Then again, it could just be that the episode takes place surrounding the Crashdown, and the song title is literal.

Oh, this rain It will continue Through the morning As I'm listening To the bells Of the cathedral I am thinking Of your voice And of the midnight picnic Once upon a time Before the rain began

1X10 American Woman (Lenny Kravitz) This seems way out there, but this song makes me think of an outsider government/military type showing up to investigate and stir the pot.

So beyondkailani had directly commented on the contrast between 2X6 and 2X7. I agree. Different in every way, but I’m not sure it has any meaning beyond trying to find song titles that fit the narrative, but then I think ‘no way’, and I’m sure it must be something more complicated. I’m still digesting how I feel because the songs do bounce all over the place as far as genre.

In S01 I felt like 75% of the song titles it was just the title that related to the episode. I’m sure the lyrics also add to it, but mostly I think they were chosen just for their titles. There are some episodes where it must be the lyrics that had meaning because I can’t see another connection (1X4, 1X10), but for most, it’s just the title.

Per example: -Don’t Speak is a break up song and I suppose you could attach a secondary meaning of the loss of your faith in someone to this song, but that’s a tough sell for me. -Smells like Teen Spirit on the teen revisit episode and I assure you the song is not actually about being a teenager… -I Saw the Sign on the episode where Liz finds a possible motive for why Isobel killed Rosa when this is actually also a break-up song of sorts. -Champagne Supernova on the Gala episode -Creep for the prison and Noah revealing the full extent of his actions (yet the song is actually about wanting someone who you think is amazing to love you but thinking in comparison to them you are nothing). Now that I’m reconsidering this one the lyrics may also have value here. Originally I hadn’t considered that the lyrics might represent Noah’s feelings about Rosa. Rosa not being an active character I didn’t consider her as part of the equation the first time.

I added some of these to the playlist at the top as well. 1X1-Pilot 1X2-So Much for the Afterglow 1X3-Tearin' Up My Heart 1X4-Where Have All the Cowboys Gone? 1X5-Don't Speak 1X6-Smells Like Teen Spirit 1X7-I Saw the Sign 1X8-Barely Breathing 1X9-Songs About Texas 1X10-I Don't Want to Miss a Thing 1X11-Champagne Supernova 1X12-Creep 1X13-Recovering the Satellites

Now all of this could be totally moot since most of the songs in S01 are just about the title and I focused on content to make conjectures. This was really fun for me though.

#episode analysis #ask #roswell nm

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iv-scruff · 4 years

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So, this one's a bitch for me to write about on at least two counts; a) these individuals do not any more attention, it only feeds the monster, and b) I want to be writing about more imporant/positive things –– the world has enough negativity going around. But then again, I am feeling extra feisty today, so here it goes anyway.

Here are my least favorite things about them Kardash/nners.

1) They run around with a man who's clearly going through some really tough mental health stuff (Kanye), yet they do nothing. Mental health is an all-time hot-button issue in this country, which they inhabit, I can only assume. Can you just imagine your man, the father of your child (or is it children now?), running around supporting the president of the United States of America in 2019, and holding rallies (he visited home, Salt Lake, earlier this year), and saying that he's running for president...? Those antics I mentioned are merely scratching at the surface of Kimmy's husband's mental and emotional health. And what might the wife(?) of such a man occupy her time doing...? Well, I'll tell you. . . selling the Instagram nation fucking makeup(?), and (according to the Netflix original documentary Broken/Makeup Mayhem) being sure to express her dislike for "fast fashion." I just can't with this. . . woman, control your man. But the great Judy Sheindlin says it best; "beauty fades, but dumb is forever."

2) Frankly, I can't help but notice their obsession with black culture and bedding attractive African American men. As an avid supporter of (almost everything) sex and the preferences that it sometimes brings with it, I am all about it. Go on, get yours. But, African American men are part of a group that continues to suffer in profound ways. They have all that fucking power and all those people who idolize them, but they do nothing. Can you just picture one of these trainwrecks at a Black Lives Matter march? It'd would be cruel to put African Americans though that mess –– I just can't imagine they'd be welcome. But still, the consequences of their actions would still ripple though time in monumental ways (which is an idea I don't love, but I'm willing to take one for the world). This is what you do with unimaginable fame and fortune; you go ahead and do your best to leave the world better than you found it. Let's be honest, it is everybody's civil duty as children of the planet. In their unique position in society and the world stage, however, it is a heinous act to remain quiet when the world and its people are screaming for help. Sorry, images or your "perfect" asses and breasts just aren't enough. We need more, some of us want less, and a select few of us want nothing at all.

3) They make self-hate look beautiful; I am not talking, Brooke Shields-beautiful, I'm talking Las Vegas Strip-beautiful.* Here's where things get tricky, they know what they used to look like, and they also know how they went from normal-looking to hot enough to incite attention. Spoiler alert: it's disgusting amounts of money, which their fans don't have, and they fucking know it. So, they are selling a fragile world an unachievable, disgusting something. Their lives/actions scream to us words so tragic; you are ugly, you are not good enough, change yourself, money buys happiness, fame is everything, look at your phone more, look at me even more, indulge, indulge some more, post your most intimate selfies online for the world to see. . . don't worry, society does not still behave unkindly to women/people expressing in this manner. And don't forget to purchase my latest lipstick and eye shadow palettes. Thus, in a world where the bar is ever so low, they remain the lowest.

4) One of them, some thing called Kylie, tried to trademark "Kylie" as brand. Motherfucker, nah. Now this, you most certainly cannot have. Kylie is, like, a name. . . and, like, a lot of people are named Kylie. . . you didn't think you were the only one, did you? Whatevs, Lips, listen up, as far as famous Kylies go, the only Kylie that matters is the one and only Kylie Minogue. Learn it, live it, love it, bitch. Whatever the fuck you accomplish in your whole miserable/entitled life will never truly amount to anything (in ways that truly matter). This is arguably your one constant trouble; in a world of Can't Get You Out of My Head, Slow, All the Lovers, Red Blooded Woman, and Love At First Sight, you are nothing more than trendy makeup, and makeup tends to go out of style.

5) They are ugly (hey, it's a fair shot since their entire empire is built atop the skeletons of society's idea of beauty). Sure, they bought looks with their 'hard' earned cash, and sure, those looks have made me stare longer than I care to admit on more than one occasion. . . they are still ugly. They represent one of humanity's worst traits; infinite greed. So, Kardash/nners, while you all are cruising the most beautiful corners of our planet on one of your many private yachts, the world is on fire. And it doesn't appear to matter that none of you will live long enough to enjoy the last of your riches, nor will any of your children (even if the world remains for (hopefully) a long time, there's that inescapable truth that, when it comes to the time we have here on earth to enjoy earthly possessions, the limit does exist. 'But what about their legacy?' one may argue, but there is no legacy. We are living historic moments, and outside of Sephora, that 'legacy' is utterly inconsequential. There is nothing more to take. . . it all seems to be slipping through our collective fingers. . . and what these individuals seem to want is. . . more? That's my true beef with each of these grossly glorified social media influencers. That is, each of them fails to understand the causation of their everythingness; we, the people of the world, lost our footing, and in our most vulnerable moment, we made them famous. Kindness would be an appropriate way to say thank you –– it may not always be expected from any of them, nor is it something they owe to anyone or anything. It's just that they way they move through life is so ugly, it transcends ideas of physical appearance. And goddamn you all, you're all so unpleasant to watch.

xo,

a feisty Queen

* This is not a race thing, it's a natural/unaltered beauty thing, or what social science refers to as bilateral symmetry. So, if the wrong person (an overly sensitive person in relation to certain words and the ideas they may or may not convey) were to find my words and attempt to go full Kanye on me, maybe don't.

Palate cleanser: feel free to listen to the playlist I made and was listening to while I was designing the graphic you see above. It was Saturday, December 21, 2019, and on this day, I consumed a lot of Mexican candy. It is my attempt to reconnect with the beautiful of my past.

#kim kardashain west #kardashiansisters

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praphit · 5 years

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Batman, Cults, and me in Red Latex

Getting back to my roots of writing here! No movie to speak of; just pure rambling!

I started writing way back in the MySpace days. I'd get insomnia, and so stay up and ramble about stuff while drinking rum - which in retrospect is prob a lil reckless:) I found that was the way to go for me - maybe that could be the way for some of you as well, if you ever struggle with such a thing.

Writing and rum, baby!

And if you're under the legal drinking age, just tell your parents that the praphit says it's ok.

And if the police somehow get involved, tell them...

Nah, wait, don't mention me... say some random, rambling, black dude said it was ok. And if they ask "Was this "random black dude" the rambling praphit on Tumblr, tell them "Noooooo, he actaully said to... NEVER DRINK... EVER. And that you officers are doing an ok job out there."

Writing and rum!

It works!

Like I said, I don't have a movie this time around; I'm not even sure how I started writing about movies.

I guess I could have gone with "The Lion King"

Which btw can we talk about this scam Disney is running? - telling the same story in a live-action package. And with this one it's still animated; it's not like it's done like one of those "Planet Earth" type shows - THAT would be interesting. I remember watching a clip of a lion eating a zebra, while the zebra was STILL ALIVE! The zebra wasn't even fighting back or crying out anymore... it had totally given up, as if the lion was devouring the zebra's soul and will to live with each juicy, bloody bite. Hey, Elton John, sing a song to that. #circleoflife

What if they followed real wild animals around in Africa, and watched the true circle of life. You could have the actors/team improvise the script depending on what's happening, and due voice-over. I feel like with real animals, the "Hakuna Matata" scene might go differently.

I'm not shaming anyone for going and enjoying these movies. I had a plan to see "Aladdin", but somehow ended up seeing "Child's Play" instead

(funniest movie I've seen all year btw).

I might still go see Aladdin. BUT, it's still a scam. Toss in a lil controversy every now and then with the casting to inflate numbers... that mouse knows what he's doing. It's a good scam! What's next? - telling the same stories, but using puppets... sock puppets; that would be a new low.

But, somehow I feel like we'd still flock to the theatres. We love that Mouse!

I don't blame him. Kinda makes me want to run some type of scam within in music (my industry). What would be the music equivalent of what Disney is doing? I don't think that there is one. Anytime you change a song a lil bit, it's totally changed.

If I decided to do a cover set of Miley Cyrus songs, exactly the same way that she did them, it would still be totally different. Btw, if I ever do that, please stop me. It'd be clearly a cry for help. Imagine if I started mimicking every vid she ever did as well - same choreography and outfit.

Don't imagine that.

I guess artists put out remastered stuff sometimes, but I feel like those never sell.

...

Sorry, I'm distracted... still thinking about redoing Miley's vids.

I DO have a wig that matches what she has going on there (you don’t need to know why:) , and red sunglasses.

And how about me rockin some red latex??! Yeah!

Nah, I wouldn’t do it. Only cuz I think that the chafing would be too intense, OR maybe I’ll like the way it looks and feels too much, and decide that’s simply going to be my regular look from now on... making everyone around me uncomfortable... with my intense sexiness. Don’t imagine that either; it may be too sexy from some:)

Ugh... is the fact that I'm even joking about it a cry for help?

The industry for an artist is the real scam. The music industry always wins. The game is rigged. That's why I've been thinking that we musicians should all go on strike. Everyone in music would have to be in on it though.

Imagine your life with no music:

- no playlists (though that would have to involve some serious hacking, but imagine road trips without them) - no music in movies or shows - no sexy music to get into "the mood" - y'all would have to sing to each other - Though I guess Aladdin and Jasmine got down like that, so y'all might be ok. New mating ritual.

- no background music anywhere you go (festivals, restaurants, strip clubs:) - we won't even sell any instruments NOTHING! Gotta go extreme sometimes to make people listen.

Maybe we'll toss people a song every now and then out of mercy. But, we'd only allow annoying songs - "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls

"My Humps" by BEP :)

It would take true power to make that happen.

I had thought about ruling the world once. I had a plan to take over the world; it was actually in motion. Yep! It would have worked too, cuz no one would have seen it coming. You would no longer call me your rambling praphit, but OVERLORD!

Like I said, no one would have seen it coming.

Thanos... and whoever tried to dominate in Justice League in that movie. What was his name? Idk, no one cares, he was terrible. Those guys went too big. You've gotta Keyser Soze it! Play chess, not... Idk, professional wrestling.

I stopped my plans because I figured that I'd just get bored. I get bored easily. Ask anyone I work with - there are times when I'll just leave and go to the movies, or the mall, or the bar, or... on some sort of quest:) Sometimes, I'll dump a project all together cuz I'm simply not feeling it anymore.

Now, DESTROYING the world, THAT seems like it'd keep my attention. Don't worry, I wouldn't hurt the people... unless they stood in my way.

I'd make sure to ship them off to... Saturn or something... can we live on Saturn? Hmm... maybe I'll need to get help with that part of my plan. So, maybe I WILL still take over the world. Once I'm bored ruling after like a week, I'll get my man Elon Musk to ship y'all off to a planet safely, and then the fun begins!

I imagine that there'll be some resistance, though Idk why. Let's be honest, this planet is doomed anyway. We can fight about how and why, but... c'mon we all know it'll eventually burn out. So, just let me have my fun! I'll make sure that there's plenty of big screens wherever Elon sends you to for my big show:)

But, if people want to fight their first and last Awesome Master Overlord on it (I think the "Awesome Master" in the front is better, don't you?), then we can go.

You won't stand a chance though. I'll have all of the best action stars fighting by my side. That's right MY SIDE. They're used to winning; what you think they're gonna fight with you? Psssh, I'll have all of the weapons and tech... plus I'm sure I'll be some type of cyborg, mutant... wizard as well.

But, I'll also have Keanu, Statham, Denzel, Liam, The Rock... I'm realizing that the action hero world is very male dominated. I'll fix that once I'm your Awesome Master Boombastic Overlord. Which woman can I put on my team?

How about Rihanna?

Yeaaaaaah...

I know what you're thinking - that I could have found a more... suitable pic. Annnnnd you're right.

JUST LET ME HAVE THIS! I mean look at her... DAMN!

FINE!

Scratch that. Rihanna’s not really an action hero anyway, I guess... at least not that type of action. Ooooooh! Haaaaaaa!

No?

C’mon, that’s funny

Whatever. I’ll move on.

The strongest woman in many respects that I can think of off the top of my rum filled brain is Serena Williams. So, we'll say her,

Amanda Nunes ( who doesn't get enough credit for how awesome she is btw)

Megan Rapinoe? I don't know if she can fight or not, but she's tough. I feel like if I put the arsenal of Rambo at her feet, she could save the day all day!

Annnnnnd Alyssa Milano? Idk her stance on violence or guns (though I'm sure she'd have no problem letting me know:) So Idk about her fighting, but she's resourceful though... maybe use the power of sex strikes or something.

(She’s like “Keep on joking and see what happens.”)

Where was I??

I don't remember.

I did want to address those chants from a week ago though "Send Her Back!" I’ve actually been thinking about this for a while, but those chants brought it back fresh to me.

Don't worry, I won't be getting into the politics surrounding it. - I mean what's the point? We never listen to each other anyway. I just want to say this, I have a lot of experience when it comes to cults (I know this seems like it's irrelevant, but stay with me) -

I know cults (don't ask, why let me horrify you:)

But, there are a handful of things that are foundational in cults. I'll bring up two of them:

1) Having a leader (or leaders) who is more concerned with their vision than they are about their people. So, the individuals pain, loss, abandonment, etc means nothing in comparison to their plan.

2) Having people who are all in on a person, ideal, or cause, to the point that they no longer care about the details of what leaders say, do, or sometimes don't do.

Now, the people described above aren't always meaning to be malicious. For example #1 - I've known many pastors who are good people, pure hearted, I might even call them friends in some respects, but they're blinded by their own vision (or "God's vision for them"). They're not trying to hurt others, but they do.

And #2 - they're are certainly people of admirable zeal in a variety of areas (ex. patriotism). They might not be "bad people", they might even think their position is righteous, but when we start to ignore facts, harmful behaviors... when we make ANY person (all of us being imperfect) a symbol of our "righteous cause", we've lost our way.

It's scary (especially being a minority) to see a whole nation exhibit these tendecies. And this is me being gracious (prob due to the rum I keep drinking).

BUT, enough of that... there's something else that is heavy on my heart - BATMAN (our next one that is)

Cuz... I mean... really?

Robbie P?

That's a damn shame! Nobody else wanted to play Batman? We've got the pretty boy, emo, glittery, vamp? What has he done since then? What has he done that has ever been intimidating? Even as a vamp he was lame.

And the Winter Soldier wants to play the Riddler? I don’t think that’ll happen or if the Riddler will even be in the next Batman. But, let’s say that it did. Wouldn’t it feel like they got those two roles mixed up?

I don't even think Robbie P is intimidating enough to play The Riddler honestly. Sebastian Stan (Winter Soldier) is kinda ripped right?

He's gonna have to lose some of that muscle before he goes up against Robbie P. I can see right now - The Riddler planning out an elaborate puzzle/trap for Batman, then seeing that it's Robbie, and being like "what do I need theses riddles for?" and then beating the living snot out of Batman. It'll be a worse beating than Bane gave him.

Filled with rage cuz he knows HE would make a much better Batman.

Now, to be fair, I was wrong about Ben Affleck. I actually liked Ben's take on the role. It made me long for a more old, grizzled, out-of-touch Batman - hear me out:

I'm thinking old Batman, but kinda hulked out. Is Stone Cold Steve Austin still around and kickin to play this Batman?

Gimme a hell yeah!

But, this Batman I'm envisioning is stuck in the old wmindsets of misogyny and racism - stay with me, cuz this will be an awesome Batman... well, movie... and awesome Batman MOVIE:)

To balance Batman out and keep the angry Twitter mob away from him, he'll have a team of "wokeness". Batwoman will be played by AOC.

Robin will be played by Jimmy Kimmel (you know you want to see him in those tights).

And Alfred's last wish in his will (after being mauled to death by a pack of bunnies... in the first scene of this movie) was to have his brain put inside of the body of a black woman. And that black woman will be Beyonce (cuz this movie will need a kick ass soundtrack).

Think about THAT sitch!

Annnnnd Ben Carson will play himself - he'll be Batman's token black friend/informant.

Already, the best movie ever.

I could see a scene going down like (Bats and the Woke Gang are in a bar... cuz my Batman will be an alcoholic... this Bats has a lot of problems, but he'll be real and raw... YES!)

Batman (after having the waitress bring him two more shots of whiskey, slaps her on the butt and says "Thanks, Sweetness.")

WokeTeam: "Batman! You can't do OR say that!"

B: "What?! Why?!"

WT: "It's ...just awful."

B: "What? If I don't smack her on the butt, how will she know that she did a good job? I'm being helpful!"

WT: (lots of arguing)

B: "Ok, ok, I won't do that... or call her that I guess... how about lil lady? is that ok? or Sugar Plum?"

WT: "Her name is Lisa"

B: "I got it! BIG BOOTY"

WT: "What is wrong with you? - that's ridiculous! Look, we'll deal with that later. Let's hurry up and get to the crime scene. And on the way we want to talk to you about the confederate flag on the Batmobile...annnnnd the Kaepernick sticker that calls him a Son of a Bitch"

B: "Why? He hates America. And there's nothing wrong with that flag!"

WT: "Bu, Batman..."

B: "No, no, I know there isn't, let me call Ben."

Sooooo, there are scenes like that, BUT he's also out there kicking major ass! It'll be like "Matrix" action meets "Sin City" action. And we'll update the villains -

Bump N Grinder

Fyre Man

and his side kick “The Sucker”

“The Comedian?” (that question mark is part of her name)

Keep the classics of course

Annnnd his arch nemesis Iggy Azalea

- ruining Hiphop wherever she goes.

And in the end asses are BRUTALLY kicked, sure, but Batman also learns some important lessons... or... or simply blows his brains out. Cuz let's be honest, some of us would rather blow our brains out than try to change.

Hey, DC... call me.

My next movie will prob be "Once Upon a time in Hollywood"

cuz of my main man Leo! - though idk about the premise. Now, if they were making "Fight Club 2" with this cast, then definitely! What if Leo and Margot Robbie (who’s also in this) are also in Edward Norton’s head; duking it out. YES! Imagine if Quentin Tarantino directed Fight Club with his typical bloody style; we’d all still be horrified).

So maybe "Hobbs & Shaw"

- those two of course, but Idris Elba is in that too! I love him!

He would have been a great Batman! I bet he could have gotten that role if he had tried. He def could have gotten that James Bond role if he had tried. But, nope, instead he decided to do "Cats"

I'll leave y'all on that thought.

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lovemecharlie · 5 years

Text

When Erik's away, the wives will play. Dom Charlie and Sub Hennessy.

Hennessy

Hennessy's bedroom door swings open and Charlie enters holding a medium-sized black plastic crate as she enters Hennessy's domain. "Ready to play, Miss Chiron?" Sitting the box beside the bed, Charlie pushes it with her foot signaling to Hennessy not to look inside of it.

"It's about time, Miss Jade," Henny shifts on the bed closing her leave-in moisturizer bottle and sitting it on the nightstand. She rubs the residue on her bare thighs. She'd been waiting on Charlie for an hour, but Charlie seemed to be dragging her feet. She couldn't understand why. Any other time, Charlie was all for it, ready and eager to go at the drop of a hat.

"I know I said I didn't need a room for my nasty antics, but now I'm reconsidering.. Might need to add a room to the poolhouse or something. Trick it out in a galactic theme," Charlie mused climbing onto the bed in her shorts. Hennessy was half listening. Having held off on masturbating since Charlie popped up unexpectedly at her office, small talk was dead. It'd been a looong day of distractions and self-denial ever since.

Earlier that day.

"Have you been obeying my command today Miss Chiron," Charlie asked getting directly to the point of the call when Hennessy picked up the phone.

"Yes, King Jade," she lied. She'd taken a ten-minute break just a short while ago to sate her flower's growing hunger. Being told she couldn't touch herself only made her want to do it even more.

The dispensary was clean, open, large, and full of variations of marijuana. Clear containers held shelves on shelves of neatly arranged product in nuggets, powders, and dried bits. Green, pink, purple. Charlie had never seen so much weed variety. “Hey. Where’s Dr. Chiron,” Charlie asked the girl working the floor, organizing containers. She was pointed to the greenhouse that was attached and as she walked down the rows of fresh growing plants, she spotted Hennessy closely observing a plant that didn’t look like the others. Must’ve been a hybrid of some sort. She was on the line claiming not to have touched herself and Charlie didn't believe a word the little munchkin said. “Hennessy Chiron Stevens-Udaku,” Charlie called causing the short-stacked woman to look up in surprise. The good doc looked like a stack of fluffy blonde pancakes soaked in syrup. Thick, pretty, and sweet.

“My whole damn name though,” Hennessy called back. Her initial confusion faded to an earnest smile when she saw the small bottles of Hennessy and apple juice Charlie presented. Giddily, she took them to her desk which was covered in research material. “What brings you in here today,“ she asked sitting in her leather chair. "You just came from work and you don’t smoke.” That was true.

"Came to check on my wife," Charlie replied. She was in a long sleeved zebra blouse tucked into cognac colored high rise cropped pants with black three inch heels. A smart look. Cognac for Hennessy. Hennessy started mixing her trademark concoction, Happy Juice, and just as the name suggests she was smiling into her cup. “You should mix that and sell it here in small cute round or star shaped clear containers with edible glitter. Call them Happy Bombs, Charlie suggested pulling up the hem of Hennessy's skirt.

"Watcha doin," Hennessy gasped as she blocked Charlie's bold hand with a nervous grin looking around to make sure no one was near. Charlie's eyes remained on hers willing her to keep eye contact instead of looking around.

"Right here, Hennessy," she said catching the shorter women's attention. "Who's in charge while Daddy's gone," Charlie challenged waiting for Hennessy to move her hand out of the way.

"You are," Hennessy relented hesitantly. Her hand went lax and Charlie slipped her hand under her skirt feeling the material of her panties. She'd gotten wet with her arousal.

"That's right, so listen to what I tell you. Get on the desk," Charlie commanded pushing the papers out of the way. She guided Hennessy's hips as she hopped up before sliding her fingers inside of Hennessy's panties and down her slit to her slick and slippery hole. "Why'd you lie to me," she asked bringing her wet fingers up for Hennessy to see. Hennessy wasn't admitting guilt so Charlie brought her nose close to Hennessy's belly where she could smell the floral scent of her arousal. It was fresh. "You know, I actually came to give you some bomb head.. toe-curling, leg-shaking, forget your own name head.. I came hungry and everything," she sighed licking her glossed lips. "..But I see I can't do that now because you don't follow instructions."

Hennessy gaped, suddenly ready to play the game. Erik was gone on a trip and if she wanted King Jade to make her cum, there were rules. King Jade's only rule to her for the day had been to refrain from touching herself. "Can I start over? I won't do it from this point on," Hennessy promised.

"If you do I'll know," Charlie pointed raising a brow. She backed away leaving Hennessy to her own devices. "Don't fuck up."

Currently.

Picking up on Hennessy's no bullshit mode, Charlie leaned forward, pulling on her panties to check to see if she'd obeyed this time around. It didn't seem like she'd touched herself. "Okay, take em off," she hummed watching her wife pull them down and off, flinging them at her. She caught them with her teeth snickering. "You want this tongue or not, lil girl? Play some music and lay down. Thighs up." Settling between Hennessy's plush thighs, she grooved internally to Sevyn Streeter - Sex on the Ceiling.

She started with Hennessy's calf knowing that the tiny woman was on the verge of having a fit. Placing small bites, she trailed her way to her inner kneecap and then her thigh.

🔉 Turn the bed upside down, flip me round. Gravity’s left the building.

🔉 I’ll be on top, really I’ll be on the bottom 'cause we goin' be having sex on the ceiling.

"Ask me for it first," Charlie teased, her tongue sliding through the crease between Hennessy's pussy and thigh. She was enjoying the control and Hennessy's impatient keening. There was a particular tone of neediness she developed when she was horny that caused her voice to become smol as she became more and more submissive and agreeable.

"Please, may I experience that tongue King Jade," she whimpered, way past ready. She'd been waiting for what felt like all day, her lust an unscratchable itch. Charlie's fingers rubbed down her slit, parting the lips to peer inside. Pure pink. Her tongue roamed lazily over the contours of her slick skin and inner flesh, then with purpose and precision, she moved over the highly sensitive spots, making a home at the clit. She blew on it, cool air, before enveloping it in wet warmth and adding pressure with her skilled tongue. The playlist played on in the background, forgotten by both women as physical pleasure was the only thing on their minds.

Once Charlie was convinced that Hennessy had cum enough to be completely satiated, she sat up wiping at her sticky face. Hennessy was slumped. Meanwhile, she had a tired tongue to rest. The part under her tongue had gotten its workout for the day. She stood from the bed, making her way to the bedroom door about to head to her own bathroom.

"Wait, what's in the crate," Hennessy pointed sitting up on her elbow. Rather than respond, Charlie came back and picked it up. She sat it on the bed pulling out a handful of star-shaped plastic containers filled with amber liquid. When she shook one, iridescent glitter floated like in a snowglobe. She looked to Henny for a yay or nay.

"Happy Bombs," Hennessy smiled.

@poosypoosy @bastioncarterstevens-udaku @hennessystevens-udaku @itsangeludaku @alyshastevens-udaku @itskimorafireudaku @allhailnjadaka @bidibidibombaclaat @blackpinup22 @destinio1 @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @leahnicole1219 @vikkidc @thehomierobbstark

#fics #the kompound #charlie

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