#i hate having them down there and its made everything a lot harder but soon theyll be up here again and itll be a lot easier | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sunshinebingo · 5 months

Text

FINAL CHAPTER !! Thank you so much @thelov3lybookworm for giving me the opportunity to play around with a version of Gwynriel I never tried before. I really hope that you like the gift. And thank you @acotargiftexchange for organising one of the best events in the fandom. Merry Christmas everyone!! ♥

***

Synopsis: Two months into their convenient marriage and Gwyneth and Azriel still have very strong feelings for each other. Is it really the hate that they claim it to be, or something else? Not even they can tell.

However, another chance at tackling the failed mission that has led them to where they are will make the two spies face something that they have both been afraid of. After all, the line separating hate from desire can be very thin.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warning: NSFW!

Find the Masterlist here

Read on Ao3 here or proceed below the cut

There was a lot of ways that the books Gwyn read described the feel of a kiss. Sometimes it was soft, sometimes sweet, oftentimes deep. This one... This one was... searing. Passionate. Consuming. It was everything all at once. It was death and rebirth. Every stroke of Azriel’s tongue against hers made Gwyn’s entire being burn hotter than her fire ever had. It fuelled every sneer and every threat exchanged since the moment they had met while their bodies set everything aflame.

There was no time to think about the why nor the how it came to this. All she wanted right now – what they both seemed to crave – was to keep doing this. Whatever this was.

Azriel pressed his body against her, pinning her to the wall, as his callous hands found the slit in her dress and he ran them up her thighs. Gwyn’s legs parted on instinct and she pulled him even closer by the waist until his middle was flushed against hers.

A lewd sound escaped her mouth when she felt his hardness against her centre. She threw her head back against the wall. Azriel’s mouth left hers and made its way down the column of her throat and neck.

He had no rights being this good at this. He had no rights to know exactly how to control her this way. Her blood boiled at the thought that his experience with others before her had led to him being this knowledgeable with a female’s body. How many before her had been in her position, at the mercy of the handsome and infamous Shadowsinger of the Night Court? But Gwyn was no random lady who was about to share his bed for a few hours. She was his wife. And she intended to claim that title in the only way she had not yet.

Her hand glided across his shoulders. She grabbed his shirt and forcefully dragged it down his arms. Her hand went lower when Azriel removed the shirt all the way and threw it across the room. With the same urgency that she had used with his shirt, she opened his pants, not caring if she was ripping it in the process.

Azriel’s lips moved to her shoulders where he pulled the fabric of her dress away. When it could not go any lower, Gwyn took his hand from where they were grabbing her ass and brought them the v of her cleavage.

“Take it off,” she breathed out.

Azriel gave no warning before he ripped the dress open at the front. The satin glided off her skin as it fell at her feet and exposed Gwyn’s body to her husband. The only things on her were the shiny necklace that fell between her bare breasts and the blue lace that matched the colour of her dress and which covered the most intimate part of her. Azriel took a step back, making Gwyn already miss their proximity. His eyes travelled across the expanse of her body.

“You will be the death of me,” he whispered more to himself.

Gwyn did not know if she could blush harder than she already was but the intensity of his gaze made the pink on her face expand to her entire body. Yet she refused to look away. She stared into his eyes with the same challenge that she always did as she slowly slid her underwear down her long legs. His eyes tracked the movement, as did his shadows as a few followed her hands and brushed her skin.

As soon as it hit the floor, Azriel was on his knees before her. The lust in his eyes when he looked up at her combined with the few candles around the room removed any traces of green in his hazel eyes. All that was left was a golden gaze that matched her flames to perfection.

Gwyn brushed away the few strands of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. She needed to see all of him to know that this was real. Even when he grabbed her backside and licked her centre, Gwyn fought to keep her eyes open. She watched as his mouth closed around her and sucked on her most sensitive area.

The sight was as sinful as the feeling it brought her. Her moans filled the room as he sucked and licked her. She lifted one of her legs and placed them on his shoulder. Azriel bit the inside of her thigh, drawing a whine out of her lips, before he went back to where she needed him most and plunged his tongue inside her.

She gripped his hair with both hands and he groaned every time she tugged at his roots. The sound only drove her to do it more and drove him to suck her harder. He brought one of his hands to her breasts and squeezed while the other held her ass just as hard. Her pleasure increased with every touch and flick of his tongue against her.

He was torturing her in the worst way he ever had yet she knew that this would be the kind that she would always crave. How would she ever go back to how they were after feeling this? How had she ever imagined that thinking about him this way was wrong?

The possibility of ever going back flew out of her mind when her release suddenly hit her harder than it ever had when she had touched herself while unknowingly thinking of him. Her mouth opened on a sharp gasp. The intensity of her orgasm forced her eyes shut and Gwyn lost herself in that feeling. For a moment, she felt herself floating in a sea of nothing where her only anchor was him.

Azriel stood up and pressed his lips on hers. With her eyes still closed, Gwyn held him and let his kiss bring her back to the present. This one was unhurried but just as burning as everything he had done to her.

Gwyn would have cursed him for having had this power over her. But that would not be enough. What she wanted more was to give him a taste of what he had given her. She deepened the kiss as her hand lowered on him. She felt all the hard muscles that she had loathed before for distracting her so much.

Her hand froze when they reached the bandage that she had carefully applied on his lower abdomen. Feeling her hesitation, Azriel pulled away and looked at her in the eyes.

“I’m fine,” he said, brushing his thumb over her swollen lip.

She started to protest but he silenced her with another kiss.

“It can’t be more painful than not having you when I so desperately want you.”

The truth that she discerned in the tone of his voice stirred something inside Gwyn. It was as strong as fear, as consuming as anger. Something that only he ever did to her. Something that she could place no word on. The same thing that had made her kiss him earlier and that made her want to do it more.

So she did. She wrapped her arms around his neck so quickly that he had to take a few steps back. Gwyn kissed him. And kissed him. Until his fingers rubbed at her centre and she felt her wetness start to run down her legs.

Gwyn grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands away. Before he could say anything more than her name, she lowered herself on her knees and looked at him like he did when he was the one in that position.

With his dark wings spread behind him and the flames around the room bouncing against his golden skin, he looked every bit the angel of death that people feared and lusted after.

Their gazes locked again as she slid his pants down and bared him to her. A smug grin started to tug at the corner of his lips when she failed to hide her shock at the sight – the size – of him. Gwyn scowled at him and wiped that grin off of his face by wrapping her lips around his cock.

Azriel’s hand settled on the back of her head, guiding her into a rhythm that had him groaning in pleasure. She brought one of her hands at the base of his cock while her tongue played with the rest of him. She revelled in every sound and every curse that fell out of his mouth, each of them feeding her own arousal. She moaned around him as she took him deep inside her mouth, again and again as he pulled on her hair like she did with him. Gwyn thought that she could come again just by pleasuring him.

But then he pulled out and sat down before her. His lips found hers again and Gwyn’s body melted into his again. She let him gently push her backwards until she was lying down on the soft carpet before the fireplace and Azriel was hovering above her.

She let his mouth explore her for a while until it became too much but not enough. Gwyn pulled on his hair to guide his head away from her breasts and to her face again. Azriel saw the silent plea in her eyes and lined his cock at her entrance. A pained groan left him as soon as he started sliding inside her.

Gwyn looked down at his wound. She stopped him with a hand on his chest and forced him to pull back. “Let me,” she told him as she sat up to straddle him.

Again, she kept her eyes on him. Even as she stroked him a few times before lifting herself up and lowering herself on his cock. For the few seconds that it took for her body to adjust to the this new feeling, Gwyn cursed him inside for making her feel things that nobody else did. She cursed him and herself for not having done this sooner.

No words were needed between them then. Gwyn let her body do what it wanted as she moved atop him. Azriel gripped her backside and moved with her as the shadows circled them frantically and some danced with their ragged breaths. Her skin glowed from pleasure at every stroke of his cock against her inner walls. Soon, their moans filled the entire room, louder and louder the closer they both came to unravelling.

The sound of her name coming out of his mouth made her lean closer to him. Unable to resist his lips, Gwyn crashed her mouth on his. The feel of his tongue against hers and the memory of what it did to her earlier made her move faster and harder. Again. And again. Until she came again, screaming his name in the crook of his neck. Azriel held her close with his hand around her and kept moving. Gwyn was still coming down from the height that her second orgasm had brought her when she felt him tense beneath her. He groaned against her skin as his own orgasm hit him, and he spilled himself inside her.

Gwyn held him tight through it. Only when she felt him relax did she loosened her arms where they were wrapped around his neck. She only moved away when her breathing finally calmed and her senses returned to her. But she still did not let go entirely. She half lied on top of him, mindful of his wings and of the bandage on his abdomen. She placed an arm around his middle and buried her face in his neck.

All of this felt unreal and she did not want to miss any part of it. Although she still feared the things that he made her feel, Gwyn was not ready to go back to a reality where his touch would not sooth those fears. Whatever happened next, at least she had this.

“I still hate you,” she mumbled against his neck.

She felt the reverberations of Azriel’s laugh through every inch of her. His hands wrapped around her and held her closer.

“I know, love.” Gwyn smiled when he kissed the top of her head. “I still hate you too. So damn much.”

“I hate you more.”

She heard a familiar humming as the shadows circled them and nuzzled her still flushed cheeks. Gwyn did not question it this time. She just closed her eyes, and softly hummed along with it.

*****

The night had been short, but it had been the best Azriel had had in months. There was no pacing, no pulling his hair out because the thoughts of his wife had been plaguing his mind, and no wondering if she would ever stop.

When he came down for breakfast this morning, instead of wondering how long it would take for Gwyn to ruin his day, he found himself looking forward to finding out how much better she could make it.

Azriel filled his plate and then Gwyn’s with anything that she liked in the morning. Instead of putting their plates on opposite sides of the table, he placed them right next to each other. It would be easier that way for him to hear whatever stupid names she would find to call him.

Azriel heard footsteps entering the room as soon as he settled into his seat. The shadows wasted no time before they rushed to her. The chair next to his lightly scraped and her voice filled his ears a second later.

“Husband,” she smiled at him.

“Wife,” he smiled back.

The end!

#Last one!#acotar gift exchange #acotar secret santa 2023 #gwynriel #gwyneth berdara #azriel shadowsinger #gwynriel fanfiction #gwynriel smut #smut

28 notes · View notes

ivanzplaid · 2 years

Note

Hiya 🫶🏻 this is sort of an odd request but it was a random thought. Maybe a fic where The Grabber is out and about and he hears some people talking about his current victim. Maybe they aren’t very liked? And some mean things are said or maybe they talk about him? So it upsets the grabber and he seeks comfort from them when he gets back home. I’m sure whatever you do it’ll be good 💙💙

hi!! i've read this so many times because i imagine the grabber is a sympathetic person, and depending on the bond you two have built, he would definitely take it to heart oml

requests r open & i cant wait to see the thoughts yall have!!

If i had to describe this fic in one word i'd go with mellow, lot like the beat of 'i think i like when it rains' by willis almost

The Grabber x Gn Reader!

Warnings: Alot, The Grabber, Manipulation, Stalking ( mentioned ), Hated reader, Abducted reader, Fluff/Angst ish??, Obsessiveness, Possessiveness

------------------------------------------------------------

Whispers could be heard from every direction as Al walked through the store, discussing the towns newest lost cause. It had only been a week and a half since you were taken, abducted on what was your evening walks. You were never easy, not when you were taken, and not before. Maybe it was your short fuse, and your angry nature, but you just didn't have a positive reputation, and Al found that out when he went shopping for more food for you. The woman and men discussed what your fate could possibly be, in hushed manners.

"They're probably dead, they don't have a single ounce of common sense in them to live longer than a day."

"If not dead, then beaten to half of it."

"Good. That little punk was no good anyhow."

"This Grabber did us a favor."

The words bounced in Al's head. He pondered what could make such a person say vile things, you were well behaved, maybe the occasional mishap, but in his eyes, you were good. It made him infuriated to hear this gossip about you, another person goes missing and the town gossips? Unprofessional. The kids were no better. Talking between one another what 'The Grabber' was doing to you, sick jokes being passed around, even some praising him so that you could learn a lesson, it made him irritated to hear, hands gripping the cart harder as he picked up more food he thought you'd enjoy. He slowly shook his head as he paced by more people, you truly were the talk of the town.

Fuckin' sickos.

Don't get him wrong, he stalked you before taking you, obsessing over your every move, good & bad. He saw you for everything you were, your lowest and highest, and he still adored you. Your actions weren't preferable, you did live up to the 'punk' title, but it was just cruel what came out of their mouths, or at least thats what he thought. From the beginning to end, all he thought of was you, you deserved so much more than what you were given, this town molded you into the thing they hated.

As his van parked in the driveway, he picked up the grocery bags with ease, one in each hand, and made his way into his little humble abode. The house was exactly as he left it, he always inspected it as soon as he got in, its not that he didn't trust you, but just as extra precaution for his nerves. Dropping the paper bags on the table, he snatched a mask, the lower smiling face mask attached to him quickly as he headed down the stairs. Conversations replayed in his head, even if you couldn't hear them, it made his heart ache for you. The metal door opened creakily, displaying you on the mattress, head angled at the ceiling, eyes closed gracefully. He stood there leniently, watching you, once again wondering how somebody could wish harm upon you. Your figure had him hypnotized, soaking in the peacefulness that you radiated in your sleeping state. It was despicable how they criminalized you, but lucky for you, he would always be at your side, never dehumanizing you or making you feel as horrid as society did. No, Al would make you feel loved and cared for, he knew that you felt the pressure, and he judt wanted to lift it off of you, so that was his plan.

Closing the door behind him, his feet took him over to you, putting himself next to you. His hands caressed your hair, feeling its texture gently in his hand. You were simply divine, another thing he cherished from you. Your skin, your hair, your personality, it enticed him, it may have made you stick out like a sore thumb before, but he appreciated you, to the truest extent. When your eyes fluttered open, the quickly landed on the man next to you, his eyes were filled with hurt, dismay about something you couldn't see.

"Something.. wrong?"

Your voice was tired, trying to make sense after you just woke up. To be fair, it did startle you seeing him next to you, normally he would be making dinner for you, but something put a fork in his schedule. The way he stared at you, and you hated admitting this, but it was nice. His stare didn't make you feel agitated, it wasn't hateful like when you were seen outside by adults, or anywhere in general by authorities. The man who looked at you now was sympathetic towards you, like he was willing to give you a chance, something you hadn't been given in the past.

"Oh, nothing. Y'know, some adults can be vile."

His words sounded weak, coming out as if he was exhausted. His hand pulled away from your hair, only to return to your shoulder, lightly pulling you into him, and you accepted it. He'd never shown so much sad expression before, and you knew this would be a moment between you two. His hand caressed you, securing you like he knew what you were thinking. He spoke once more, tone still soft.

"You're not a bad person to me. I know you've been treated as such before."

Then again, maybe he did know what you were thinking. Whatever consisted of his day, he seemed to take a new liking to you, and you wouldn't say its the worst thing to come out of this. You found yourself leaning your head onto his shoulder, he welcomed you. The silence that filled the room was comfortable, it suited the both of you. To him, it showed you opened up, that it was an unspoken bond. He wanted to make you feel safe and loved, and if it meant to have silence, then so be it. To you, the silence made your breathing easier, and your thoughts slow down. A headache had formed when you were speaking, the memories of before filled your mind, harassing you endlessly. The silence confirmed that he respected you, and its just what you needed at the moment,

for somebody to respect you.

------------------------------------------------------------

gonna be real, i have no idea how to feel about this fic😭 i dont wanna say its bad, but feels like a dead end for some reason and i cant put my finger on it, so if you want me to redo it i will 🫶🫶

thannkkk you for the request, always a joy to see your name pop up because i know the request will be bomb, and hopefully its up to your expectations!!

#the grabber #the grabber x reader #black phone #ethan hawke #the grabber x you #queer #slasher #daddy fr #hot killer #the black phone

234 notes · View notes

itsthestutterforme · 1 year

Text

Dark Sapphire (Aemond Targaryen x black!reader)

Summary: In the midst of his war crime, Aemond moves you away from Kings Landing to keep you safe. A week later, you get a letter from Queen Alicent with some bad news.

Notes: GIF is not mine, all mistakes are my own, dark themes (implied smut, murder, faking a death, character death, LOTS of angst), featuring Geralt of Rivia and Yennefer

Prompt Credit @ogdoadfates : “We won’t grow old together will we?” “No, but we made memories that’ll outlive even us.”

The halls in the Red Keep were so quiet you could hear a pin drop and the mice scurrying in the corridors. Aemond has bounced from the Council Room to the Iron Throne to the his mother’s chambers, and back to the Council Room in a viscous cycle.

He grew frustrated with the constant summoning and rushing around. He’s had enough, so he announced that no one should bother him in his chambers unless one of Rhaenyra’s or Daemon’s dragons flew about King’s Landing.

Which very well could be a possibility. He kill Lucerys after all, even if it wasn’t intentional. It was an act of war, and now King’s Landing and it’s allies must prepare. That includes preparing you for what’s the come.

The two of you laid bare in the sheets from getting lost in each other throughout the day. It was now almost nightfall. Your thighs grew sore from the countless orgasms he pulled from you. His hair was pulled from its tight ponytail, fanning out as he laid his head on your chest. Your leg rested in between his while you comb your fingers through his perfect, silver locks.

“Aemond,” you start, and he hums in response. “I want to fight for Kings Landing,” “Absolutely not,” “It’s my duty as-“ “Y/N, please. I don’t want to fight.” He mediates, slowly peeling his face from your chest. “I can’t focus on my responsibilities if I’m worried about you.” His sapphire eye glistened in the dim lighting of the candles. “How do you think I would feel knowing my husband is going to war while I’m sitting safely here in the castle?”

“You won’t be in the castle. No, I’m taking you somewhere else. With someone I trust.” “Where? ” “Geralt of Rivia,” “Shouldn’t Haelena with us?” “No, her status will only bring attention to you. She’ll be safe with the Kings Guard. But you need to leave Kings Landing altogether.”

“When?” “Tonight,” “No, Aemond. I want to be with you.” You shook your head, sitting up and away from him. He followed you, holding your face and pulling your head close to his. “Listen to me… you are my everything. If I lose you, I would join in death soon after.”

“Please, just listen to my instructions for once,” he adds. “What if.. what if war takes you from me, Aemond? This isn’t a normal war with swords and spears. You have Dragons that could burn entire castle to the ground.”

Tears blur your vision and soft sobs left you. You cowered in his hands, gripping his wrists for dear life. “I took this day to prepare you. We’ve had our sentimental moment. But now it’s time to talk about the harsh truth.” He let out a deep breath, keeping his own emotions in check.

“Truth is, you’re right. The chances of me surviving are slim.” “Stop saying that. I won’t hear it.” “I need you to be strong for me, my love.” “I can’t, Aemond. Please.” You sobbed harder and he held you against his chest, you buried your face into the crook of his neck.

Tears left his own eyes; he hated seeing you in pain. “It doesn’t matter what happens to me, I’ll be happy as long as you’re safe.” He says, rubbing circles on your bare back. “Come with me,” “They’ll never stop coming for me after I killed Lucerys,” “Then we’ll fight them together,” you reasoned.

“You have to go tonight. There is no other choice, Y/N.” Tears mindlessly streamed down your face as the two of you sat in silence. “We won’t grow old together will we?” You croaked, sniffling every so often. “No, but we made memories that’ll outlive even us.” He retorts. “Avy jorrāelan, byka zaldrīzes,” he adds. (I love you, little dragon).

“Avy jorrāelan tolī,,” (I love you too)

Once you got the letter with Queen Alicent’s seal, you felt your heart drop to your stomach. You didn’t bother opening the letter. You had reasoned with Geralt to take you back to King’s Landing, though it took at least thirty minutes of reasoning.

You didn’t hear much after Queen Alicent said, “I’m so sorry, Y/N. Aemond is gone.” She placed a comforting hand on your arm and you shrugged it off. “Have you recovered his body?” “Yes, he’s with the maesters. The funeral is tomorrow at first light. A private function.” She explains.

“I shall make my way to the maesters then,” you stood from the chair and made an advance to the door. “Do you want company?” “I’m afraid not, Your Grace. There’s no telling what my reaction is going to be when I.. see him.” You offered her a small smile before one of the Kings Guard opened the door for you.

You chewed at your bottom lip anxiously as you neared the preparation room. “Princess Y/N,” the grandmaester greets outside of the room. “I wish to see his body,” his face falls at your words. “The condition of his body is not fit for a princess to see,” “That matters very little to me. He is still my husband. Let me pass.” You mentally curse yourself hearing the sound of your own voice trembled slightly.

“Very well,” he says after a eyeing you a moment. He opens the door and your eyes fell to Aemond for the first time in a week. The eye where the sapphire occupied was now empty, as was his other eye. His silver locs were brushed back and his skin lost its life. A thin white blanket covered from the middle of his stomach on down.

“Oh my love, what happened to you?” You asked him once you reached his side. You lifted your hand to touch his head, gasping at the chill and toughness of his skin. “Aemond, no,” You croaked, your body trembling.

“Why can’t I tell her, mother?” Aemond asks, alive and well in his mother’s chambers. “The less people that know, the safer you are.” “Well how long until I explain to her what happened?” His eye widens at his mother’s lack of response. “Surely you’re not implying that I may never tell her?”

“It’s for your own safety, Aemond.” “It is cruel. I’m have to tell her. We tell each other everything.” He advances to the door. “I did not pay that mage a fortune to perform a protection and cloning spell on you for nothing, you fool!” She hisses, warranting Aemond to stop in his tracks.

Alicent sighs, holding her face in her hands as she drops to the small couch. “Surely you can tell her, but wait until things are going back to normal. The war was brutal. Many lives were lost. As far as anyone is concerned, I’m a grieving widow who’s lost her all of her children. I’d like to keep it that way.” She explains. “She’s safe, that’s all that matters, right?.” She adds.

As the days turned into weeks, you’ve constructed a plan of vengeance for your beloved Aemond. The survivors of the war, excluding the children, were met with your blade. There are whispers of your doings, coining you Dark Sapphire. For you left a sapphire on each of your victims bodies. The same sapphire Aemond used to have.

Once you took the life of your final victim, you visited Aemond’s grave. “I did it, my love. I avenged you like I said I would… I thought about what you said, ‘if I lose you, I would join in death soon after’.” Little did you know Aemond was watching you from behind the tree, concealing his body and identity with a black cloak. He could tell immediately that this visit was different from the others.

It sounded eerily similar to a goodbye. By the time he ran towards you, you had already sheathed your blade slick with your latest victims’ blood. “I’ll see you soon, beloved.” You let out a soft breath as you pierce your own heart with the blade. “No!” Aemond yells, rushing to your aid. His eye grew wide when he sees how much blood was rushing from your chest, some drops of blood escaping your mouth.

You groaned at the copper taste, your eyes watering from the searing pain of the blade and your lungs filling up with blood. “Y/N, look at me. I’m alive. See?” Aemond says frantically, panicking when he notices your eyes glazing over. “Please, my love.” He adds, crying when he heard your pained wheezes. You were struggling, fighting to breathe.

He took your hand into his and you used whatever strength you had left to squeeze his hand. Your head fell to the side as he cradled your head in his lap, releasing your last breath. “No, hold my hand. Don’t leave me.” Stray tears left his eye, landing on your forehead.

Rocking you slowly in his arms, an idea rung in his head. The mage. The mage that performed the protection spell should have a resurrection spell of some sort. He gathered you in his arms and carried you into his mothers chambers. “Mother, you must summon the mage.”

“Oh my God,” she gasps, covering her mouth when she sees the state of your body. “What happened? Who did this to her?” Alicent asks, setting off a fire in Aemond. “You did! I told you from the first time she went out to murder my cousins. I begged you to tell her, and you refused!”

Her lips pressed into a frown, clasping her hands in front of her. She didn’t dare to speak. “You’re so selfish! You couldn’t let me be happy, could you? I swe- you will summon the mage and she will bring her back to life or I swear to the gods, I will expose you for what you really are.”

“Aemond, I-“ “Just summon the bloody mage,” he tells her, his nose flaring in contrast to his tear stained cheeks. “Very well,”

They had cleared her chambers of her furniture, replacing it with a thick slab of marble. Aemond stares at your lifeless body laying on the slab, the only thing audible was his shaky breaths. His mother met Criston Cole at the gate of Kings Landing to escort the mage, Yennefer, to her chambers.

It was the only time Aemond spent any time alone with you. Yennefer was his only hope at getting you back. “Aemond, the mage is here.” Alicent announces as Cole opens the door for them. “How long has she been dead?” Yennefer asks, pulling off her cloak and setting down her satchel.

“Six hours,” Aemond answers. “Her body hasn’t started to decompose. That’s good,” Aemond inhaled sharply at her words. “Can you resurrect her or not?” “I can. But there are consequences.” “It doesn’t matter, just bring her back to me.”

“What would those consequences be?” Alicent asks. “There’s a chance she may not wake up if she’s moved on or have been dead for too long. A consequence is that you must take a life. A life for a life.”

“A fair exchange,” Aemond says. Yennefer shares a look with Alicent before making preparations for the spell. Candles were lit. Barriers were drawn. Blood was shed. Yennefer held Aemond’s hand over your body, chanting an incantation.

Aemond opened his eye when Yennefer pulled away from him. Alicent was pacing around the room, her hand pressed to her lips. “My love,” Aemond said softly, taking your hand into his. The silence in the room was deafening. “I’m sorry, my Prince.” Yennefer says softly.

“Do the spell again,” he commands. “It will have the same result, I’m afraid.” “Try ag-“ your body shot up, clutching your throat as you gasped for air.

#aemond imagine #black!reader #hotd #aemond targaryen x black reader

56 notes · View notes

nobodyeverasked · 2 years

Text

the young royals; yoo taeyang

(9,599 words) - large

summary ➣ Upon a conversation where Prince Taeyang and his most loyal and cherished knight, Y/N, revisit their past, Taeyang struggles to decide if he’s ready to let his revelations out as their conversation comes to a close, and to let his last shot at telling Y/N how he really feels about him slip away.

genre ➣ fluff | royalty au

requested - 👍 by @alexsinsulin

.・゜-: ✧ :- .・゜-: ✧ :- -: ✧ :-゜・. -: ✧ :-゜・．

A trickle of laughter rang throughout the indomitably large throne room, ringing against elaborately embellished walls, refracting of crystals hung from ornate chandeliers. Despite how small it sounded by the time that faint melody of childlike giggling reached the corners of the room, it still managed to stretch itself out and spread its colour across all the emptiness that the Prince - the next in line to inherit the crown tied to this entire room, this entire keep, this entire castle, and this entire kingdom - Yoo Taeyang, would complain about.

In fact, after Taeyang’s late father’s - the King’s - recent death, Taeyang’s a lot closer to the crown that he ever thought he could be. The ceremony is soon, and everything leading up to it has kept Taeyang trapped, ensnared in stress and panic and feelings of inadequacy that the weight of his crown always kept dragging behind him.

This room within the castle’s keep was usually solitary, barely inhabited, and with nothing in the room to make use of - all its contents barely even functional, ‘decorative’ Taeyang would say and ‘marvellous’, ‘elaborate’, ‘luxurious’ others would say - but ornamental, golden engravings and spires and expensive silk drapery. The throne wasn’t even worthy of the Prince, only for the king’s bouts of pondering and need for space.

The two figures within the room, therefore, needed to improvise and snag a few of the ornately carved velvet seats along one of the walls and drag them into the room as if they weren’t built from some of the most expensive wood, upholstered by the finest velvet and glossed over with a golden varnish that even Taeyang knew took considerable effort to get. They were now near the center of the room, Taeyang in a tall-backed armchair, feet kicked up on a small stool, and Y/N sat up straight, alert, almost rigid in a stool across from Taeyang - the Prince he’s served as a fully-fledged knight under for almost a year now.

Conversations with Y/N in this throne room, a place that usually only reminded him of loneliness, and emptiness, made everything that kept him awake at night slip his mind - as if it all never existed.

“What is it with you and near-misses with wild animals?” Y/N didn’t have his armour on anymore, he shed his mail and plating as soon as he could when his patrol and duties ended during midday, but he still couldn’t help but feel its shadow nip a thim, beckon an itch or two. He lifted an eyebrow toward Taeyang with a smirk that was more amused than annoyed, especially given that this drew too many parallels to how they met.

“Okay, you’re making it sound like a frequent thing!” Taeyang whined, no matter how much closer he got to the crown, no matter how much closer to getting that throne behind them - perched upon that dais as if it were looking down on them - to Y/N, he was still the child he met in the forest clearing behind the castle. “I thought that was why you loved me so much anyways.” Taeyang watched himself, pressing his lips together subtly enough that Y/N wouldn’t catch him watching his words almost too carefully. He hated needing to tread so lightly around words like that, but if he leaned too carelessly onto them, they might be having an entirely different conversation altogether - one Taeyang’s always wanted to have, but still doesn’t feel ready for.

“As your royal guard, your highness.” Y/N chuckled as Taeyang stretched his foot out to nudge at Y/N, and only laughed even harder as he swatted away Taeyang’s attack with a deft yet precise flick of his hand. As much combat and tactical and field training Y/N has done, he always walks into conversations with Taeyang knowing for a fact that it will never be enough. “I would prefer if you didn’t make near-deaths-by-wild-animals a personality trait.”

Taeyang puffed his cheeks out with a strained, huff sounding breath as he stretched his foot out again to nudge Y/N’s side once more, and smiling as Y/N let him prod against the tunic Taeyang got specially made for Y/N’s birthday. He draped his leg across Y/N’s with a dramatic sigh and slumped back in his chair, and recalled the day they first met with a smile as Y/N absently, wordlessly ran his diligent hands across the blemishes in his brand new trousers.

While many tried to embellish Taeyang’s recklessness and call it an ‘explorative spirit’, many servants within the castle walls would simply state his status as an immediate threat to society with how much of a nuisance he was to keep track of. The moment he was old enough to dawn his very own embroidered tunics and wield a frail training sword in his hands, he wanted to leave the castle - the break through its confines and explore, wander, discover on his own. This was often to the detriment of those who were set to look after him, as he was always begging and whining to head past boundaries and practice swordplay in the trees that skirted the back of the castle.

One day he managed to sneak away from his carers and make his way around the castle and toward the forest by the castle, with nothing to protect him but a gold-laced tunic, stockings and a hollow, wooden training sword strapped to his back by one of his hardened leather belts. He was barely a dozen paces in before he could feel this hesitance finally begin to trickle into his head, but he dove deeper into thicket through thicket of trees, losing himself among the countless spires of wood nearly piercing the sky.

As Y/N would later always say to describe Taeyang’s reckless abandon, he was ‘in way over his head’, Taeyang was soon lost - unable to find his way out. To a kid barely reaching his teens, it felt like hours tripping over roots of trees, flinching at any sound made within feet of him, even if it was the sounds of his soft loafers curling around stones and twigs. However, one crackle against the ground hung in the branches longer, heavier than the rest, and before Taeyang could meet it halfway, a bellowing roar of a wild boar shook Taeyang to his core, nearly the entire forest around him, too.

He didn’t know where to go, what to do. That training sword on his back may as well have been a blade of grass. He couldn’t do anything but let out a whimper as he scrambled to the side before the animal before him, just a few large bounds away from him, even decided to charge. As it did, as it trampled the ground before him and set itself to ram right into Taeyang’s chest, an arm swept under and around his and dragged him out of the way. He kept his eyes shut too tightly to see the boar running into the tree right behind where he was standing, splintering its trunk and dizzying itself in the process.

All he heard was a thud, a crackle of leaves and branches and the heavy breathing of whoever swept him off his feet, and when he found it in himself to open his eyes, to feel the world around him, he found himself in a completely new area of the forest. It was an edge where litter and mosses and exposed roots met the grassy fields that bordered the sides of his castle - he’s never been happier to see it.

“What were you doing in there? It’s dangerous!”

Taeyang looked up at his saviour, and by the looks and sound of it, the person standing above him, a thicker training sword at his hip and a determined yet panicked look in his entrancing eyes, was not much older than he was. Maybe even younger by the way the sound of his voice was just teetering off its childlike shrillness. Taeyang was on the ground, splayed out on the grass, the feeling of this mystery boy’s arms around him still keeping his chest wound up and tight.

“Hey, I’m talking to you! Are you alright?”

“I-I’m Taeyang…” Was all Taeyang could stupidly sputter out. Maybe his name would ring some bells? It has ever since his birth, maybe this mystery boy would recognize him, bring him home, maybe they could do anything but sit in this startled silence. Except, on second thought, Taetang didn’t mind the silence, it gave him time to mull over his lack of response to the mystery boy’s question, as well as the giggle that spilled from his lips as he stepped forward and lent Taeyang a hand.

“I’m Y/N.”

Nothing changed by the mention of Taeyang’s name, and Taeyang felt this massive subconscious weight lifted off of him somehow. Perhaps Y/N didn’t know what a Prince was, who the Prince was? And if Taeyang was being honest, he didn’t necessarily know the answer to both of those right now either. He took Y/N’s hand with a wide grin that drained the sunlight from the sky, and chuckled as Y/N matched him with one of his own. The next thing he knew, all his fear, his quick brush against certain death, was nothing to him but a faint echo as their conversation instantly skipped to the swords they had strapped to them and soon the clacks between them as they instantly began to fight each other with them.

Taeyang wouldn’t know this until later, but Y/N’s constant comfort, his ability to drain Taeyang of all his worries, would become a constant in his life.

“When I found out you were the Prince… I almost felt myself slip from reality.” Y/N widened his eyes as he looked down at Taeyang’s trousers, scoffing at the ways he already found to get cotton this expensive so dirty. Then again, Taeyang has recently tried to jump Y/N while he’s training alone by the barracks, and that never ends well for either of them - Taeyang on his back in the sand, Y/N pinning him down, his eyes rolling so hard he’s probably pulled a muscle by now.

Y/N almost forgot what it was like back when they were in this stage before their friendship, back when Y/N regarded Taeyang’s lineage, revered it. They’re so close now, that the crown comes as a second thought to them, it’s their bond first, the memories that tie them together, and whatever throne Taeyang were sitting atop next came second.

It didn’t matter what seat it was, Taeyang would always find a way to drag one right next to his for Y/N to sit across from him and fight against Taeyang’s poor attempts to start play-fighting on carpets worth more than both of their lives.

“Yeah,” Taeyang hummed wistfully, a chuckle cutting him short as he tried to nudge at Y/N again with his foot but had his weight completely thrown to the side as Y/N swept Taeyang’s leg off his lap. “But I still will never be able to forget the way you just didn’t know what my name stood for. You treated me like I mattered the same as you did and then kicked my ass with that sword. I’m pretty sure I still have the bruises.” Another burst of laughter filled up the emptiness in the room around them. Taeyang didn’t know exactly why he felt the rush he did when Y/N didn’t recognize him for his title, barely even cared to temper his voice or go easy on him in their play-fights by the edge of the forest, but later - now - he realized that their type of friendship was meant to be like nothing else he’s ever experienced. “I dunno, it just felt so grounding and moral in a life full of off-putting irregularity that’s pretty much my normal - as much as I appreciate being the Prince.”

“Yes, I’m sure nearly getting impaled by that boar was very grounding indeed.” Y/N rolled his eyes, grinning even as he watched Taeyang pout and slump back in his seat with a defeated whine.

“I’m trying to say thank you!” Taeyang threw his hands up, trying not to let his petulance break under the weight of Y/N’s laughter as he almost toppled over the edge of his own seat.

As time has built them up and worn them down and shaped and sculpted them, Taeyang’s found it more and more difficult to hide all the things Y/N made him feel behind pouting lips and petulant whines and broken breaths held in puffed out chests. Even sitting here, with the remnants of the morning’s light spilling through the throne room’s large but narrow windows and falling against Y/N in gentle ivory blooms of light, Taeyang could barely hold himself back. It was as if Y/n’s very presence is almost tortuous to him now.

“Was that what that was?” Y/N lifted an eyebrow with that signature smirk that practically etched itself into Taeyang’s mind. Ever since Y/N first shone it toward him the third time they met in the castle’s halls on the way to Y/N’s first day of knight training - when Taeyang’s begging finally got Y/N to stop kneeling to him the moment they met eyes - it’s never left his thoughts. Taeyang never wants it to change.

“YES!”

“Alright, if his royal highness says so.”

‘His royal highness’... Upon greeting countless memories of Y/N’s melodious voice drawing out every syllable in such a deliberately grating way, Taeyang didn’t know whether to cringe or smile fondly at them. Y/N hasn’t necessarily used it that much now - they’ve raided and pillaged that joke, burned it to the ground, by the time Y/N was knighted. However, Y/N’s always delighted to bring it back every now and then just to make Taeyang groan. Taeyang has this sneaking suspicion that Y/N knows how much fondness he hides beneath all his layers of visceral distaste for the ways Y/N’s teased him - past and present.

Y/N carving out those words brought Taeyang back to a memory so particular. And, perhaps, it was a moment where Taeyang knew for a fact that he wasn’t just a Prince, and Y/N wasn’t just going to be any other knight in his father’s army. He wasn’t going to be another armoured figure in the mass of hopeful cadets and squires, and that Y/N wasn’t just going to be ‘the mystery boy who saved him from certain death that one time’. He was going to be this recurring character in Taeyang’s daydreams, the trigger of so many thoughts and daydreams that Taeyang would let wander aimlessly for as long as his consciousness could muster.

Y/N was always more to him than Taeyang could ever conceive. Taeyang had a vague idea of what sparked everything he was feeling, and for how long he’s been holding all this suppressed weight to his words, but it all becomes so much clearer with every time Y/N’s relentless teasing would submerge them all the way to Taeyang’s golden circlet in nostalgia too inviting for Taeyang’s confined affections to withstand.

Looking at Y/N now, Taeyang can feel threads already unwinding, unravelling around him and all his admiration, all his frustratingly unexplainable feelings. They slipped, pulled at him, and came through, leaked out in ways only he notices.

His casual observations - the light on Y/N’s skin, the way he looks in his armour, those eyes, those beautiful eyes, his voice, the way he’s never lost his smile, his beautiful fucking face - they don’t feel so casual anymore. There’s now something sickly sweet staining every single one, something that Taeyang can’t get rid of - and wouldn’t dare to get rid of. It all started as he was allowed to sit in and watch Y/N on his first day of knight’s training, more specifically, when he managed to lure Y/N away from the crowd and brought him to a corner of his empty sitting area he knew nobody could see them.

“You requested for me, your majesty?” Y/N took timid steps into Taeyang’s sitting room, his voice hesitant to even strip itself from the safety of his tongue. He was nearly breathless as it was, his training rigorous, nearly ruthless compared to anything he’s ever known. A relentless ache battered through him as Taeyang turned toward him in an embroidered tunic, completely pristine, spotless compared to Y/N’s completely marred and dirt-ridden training armour.

“Y/N…” Taeyang rolled up the sleeves of his tunic and sat down on a rich velvet bench that overlooked the training yard upon a platform a few feet off the ground. The sunlight streamed down and lit up the cobbles beneath their feet, and Y/N looked around, slightly paranoid that people were going to catch him way too close to the prince. “You can cut out that whole ordeal now, nobody’s watching I assure you..” Taeyang gestured out to the field that was once filled with knights-in training - now completely empty, devoid of nothing but splintered training swords and a few helmets dented beyond repair. He watched with a small smile as Y/N let out a breath he’s probably been holding since Taeyang whispered orders to meet him in his sitting area.

It was almost as if something snapped or crumbled in Y/N, as an easy, weightless smile overcame him, the one that Taeyang was more used to seeing than not whenever they would sneak off to Taeyang’s personal study to fool around with the inks and papers. They’ve become much closer since their first encounter in the forest, and their second and third encounters in the castle - Taeyang should’ve known Y/N was a squire from the moment he was saved - Y/N’s fearlessness, the fit of his tailored squire’s tunic, the elaborate leather scabbard he slid his training sword into. It made Taeyang all the more interested in him, and it made getting closer, seeing each other more often whenever Taeyang would slip away from guards and get time to himself, so much easier.

“You’ve been training hard, so you can relax here if you like…” Taeyang trailed off, patting the space next to him. The sunlight streaming down in golden dapples practically made the velvet next to Taeyang shimmer, beckoning Y/N closer. Y/N barely hesitated, finding his space on a bench that cadets like him were barely even allowed to see, let alone sit on - especially next to the prince. Letting out another breath, Y/N looked up to Taeyang, only to see this glint of disappointment in his eyes as he squinted in the sunlight to get a better look at him.

“What is it?” Y/N asked, confused by the way Taeyang’s lips formed something between a pout and a sheepish frown. It was as if he wanted to say something, do something or ask something, but was scared of letting it out. Taeyang was the prince, though, wasn’t asking for things and receiving them on the spot pretty much his entire thing? Especially with how needy Taeyang was, Y/N was surprised by his hestiance, yet still waited patiently for his voice to finally pick itself up from the ground.

“You can relax…” Taeyang, although stiffly, gestured to his lap, “here…” His lips were tied up in a tightly wound grimace as he kept his eyes trained on the ground between his boots, fearful of Y/N’s response. They were close, but not that close, and Taeyang was worried that the silence between them was going to be pulled so taut, so roughly between them until their only relief would be found in the general’s orders to return to the field.

Taeyang’s fears and doubts were thrown aside, though, as Y/N soon responded with a playful smirk strewn across his face - one Taeyang will get all too familiar with seeing grace Y/N’s features.

Y/N kept his eyes on where Taeyang’s shaking hands gestured vaguely - an attempt at indifference that just ended up mocking it instead - and let his sheepishness flood his voice. “I don’t know if I should do that, wouldn’t favouritism from the prince kind of breach the crown’s integrity in our training?”

It took a while for Taeyang to realize that he actually got a reaction that wasn’t disgust, repulsion, or anything else that reeked of this tense, inoffensive discomfort that Taeyang honestly loathed more than anything else. In fact, as Taeyang looked up from his lap and his vision faded in and out of focus in the sunlight, he managed to catch this coy shine in Y/N’s eyes and a bloom of brightness in his narrow smirk. After what felt like a torturously long stretch of silence that consisted of nothing but Taeyang plucking Y/N’s words from the sky, turning them over, he finally shuddered and scowled as he finally began to hear the teasing beneath all of it.

“I’m not favouring you!” Taeyang whined, anything to cover up the blatant, obvious fact that their friendship definitely led to some sort of favouritism.

“Well, after this, I’ll investigate and see if anybody else has received an offer to lay on his royal highness’ lap.” Y/N giggled before lifting his eyebrow, craning his neck over the sitting area’s stone brick parapet and pretending to scan the field for roaming figures of his fellow knights in training. He looked back and soaked in the slight panic that Taeyang scrambled to hide under a scrunched up frown. There was nothing he liked more than watching the crowned prince, ‘his royal highness’, slipping up and nearly dropping the circlet nestled in his neatly groomed hair onto the ground with every time one of Y/N’s sly glances or crude smirks defied the respect he was supposed to give a person of Taeyang’s stature.

It was Taeyang’s fault that he inadvertently gave Y/N so much power with his constant berating of Y/N’s emphatic worshipping of him upon their first few meetings within the castle.

It took a while for Y/N to initially get over the whole ‘paying respect to the crown and royalty’ thing, Taeyang’s chastising for letting his reverence slip definitely made sure of that, but after it stuck, after Y/N let his sass and cockiness and jesting remarks carelessly slip out of him, screwing around with his friend, Prince Taeyang, became one of his favourite pastimes.

“Shut up and take a breather.” Taeyang turned away, arms folded and the ends of his words caught up in a huff-like breath. He still left his lap open, though, and as he glared out the corner of his eye, he caught Y/N’s hesitance and instantly opened his arm to welcome Y/N in. He hoped that Y/N didn’t catch how bright his smile of satisfaction was as Y/N finally leaned in and settled his head gingerly across Taeyang’s thighs. “I’ll make sure the general makes training more rigorous for you so you’ll need the rest.” Taeyang smiled triumphantly as he rested his hand on Y/N’s shoulder.

“It is of the greatest honours to have thine lap as sweet reprieve from training, your majesty.” Y/N made an effort to nestle further into Taeyang’s lap with a small smile, the tart sweetness of his sarcasm soaking the air and drawing out Taeyang’s laughter. Soon enough, though, they had no words left to speak, no mocking or teasing left to recite into the sun-stained air around them. Y/N enjoyed the silence, but with the start of his knight training, he didn’t know how many opportunities they’d get to sneak away from their duties and spend more time like this; he was looking for something to fill in the silence, stuff in as much as he could into this slight window of time. “Hey.”

“Yeah?” Taeyang absently answered, fighting every urge to tuck that stray lock of slightly sweat-soaked hair away from where it dangled by Y/N’s eyes.

He won over himself, though - We’ve met literally four times, maybe on the seventh you could get away with it without him looking at you weird, Taeyang thought relentlessly to himself. But, also, he dared to think realistically, looking into the way Y/N stared at nothing in particular, maybe tracing the lines in the stone brick parapet like he did whenever he’d lie down on this bench and have nothing to do but wait for Y/N to slip away from his Lord to see him for what would be - by then - their third meeting within castle walls.

Maybe never… Maybe, no matter how many times they meet, no matter how many opportunities they get to become closer, they’ll never be more than friends on the verge of whatever’s bubbling in Taeyang’s stomach.

“Have you thought about any of the maidens recently?”

Taeyang didn’t know in which way Y/N’s question struck him first, struck him hardest. He had a hard time determining the different aches that climbed all of his body, suffocating him like those heavy tunics of decadent velvet that his father always made him wear to court gatherings.

“Maidens? Why?” Taeyang flinched at his own questions and the shock and sudden offense that laced his words. He stumbled to cover for the way his voice curved up and into the sky. Y/N didn’t even flinch, recognizing the way Taeyang choked on his words, he simply stayed there, resting on Taeyang’s lap, unmoving. “I mean no, not yet. I have other duties to attend to.”

“Ah, I see, the ordeal of maidens is far too frivolous for his royal highness.”

Taeyang snapped his head down to where Y/N let out a tired, yet brilliant smile. He slapped Y/N in the shoulder he knew would hurt more - his sword-wielding arm - and watched with glee as Y/N let out a soft groan. “You know I can get you and your snark terminated from your military troupe with nothing but a snap of my fingers, right?”

“Aw, well…” Y/N tried to brave through the ache, and Taeyang was quick to smooth his hand over where he slapped - he probably didn’t know how close Y/N’s body was to completely shattering upon impact with anything, even air at this point. He still kept his eyes coy, his voice laced with his golden sharpness like the copper threads that lined Taeyang’s tunic sleeves. “Who else would you have to rest in your lap?”

Unfortunately, Y/N had a point - even with the lap part… Y/N was the closest thing that Taeyang had to friendship anywhere, despite the people that his father pushed him to be congenial and amicable with, despite his blunders outside of castle walls as he met other heirs around his age. It was just never quite the same as everything that Y/N was to him back home, back here.

“I… Whatever- Stop looking at me like that! “ Taeyang realized the instant Y/N knew he won over him. He knew he had to get used to that more than he already was - Y/N winning over him - but he couldn’t. That slight fondness that flourished under his annoyance with every time he stumbled across Y/N’s triumphant smirks, he wanted to keep that. “But yeah, maidens haven’t been on my mind…” This conversation felt bitter on Taeyang’s tongue, though, different from the others they’ve had. He didn’t know what to make of it, and he wanted to switch the topic to something that would leave a better taste in his mouth, but something - a burning in his heart - wanted to dig deeper, dive deeper into this ache that fostered deep in his chest. “How about you?”

“I mean of course, I feel like almost everyone our age is looking at each other differently now.”

“Anyone in particular?”

Taeyang wasn’t even in control of his words at this point. His focus back on the way Y/N’s sweat-soaked hair dangled in front of his eyes, and how urges still rose in him to delicately push it back, back and away from the way Y/N’s eyes glittered with this passive happiness that always idled there.

“His royal highness is very curious.” Y/N looked up with a crooked smile, earning a scoff from above him.

He lost track of how long his head had rested in Taeyang’s lap - he liked it. He shuffled onto his back and felt Taeyang’s hand that rested on his shoulder fall to his mail-covered stomach. He didn’t care much about the weight of Taeyang’s touch against him, in fact, he didn’t mind it at all; his focus laid on the plunging neckline of Taeyang’s rich, purple and copper tunic, and how the ruffled collar of his undershirt practically bent to Taeyang’s will, fitting perfectly around his neck.

“Well yeah,” Y/N took a breath and continued, matching Taeyang’s small smile as he looked down to meet Y/N’s eyes. He didn’t notice, though, how quickly Taeyang’s lips loosened at its corners once Y/N’s gaze drifted over to the way the sunlight glanced over the stone tiles beneath them. Taeyang braced himself for Y/N’s musings, his stomach already beginning to twist up, shy away from a pain he didn’t know he could ever feel. “There was this one girl who meet my eyes in the hall by the dining hall - we couldn’t pull our stares away from each other, then there was that girl who helped me wax my training armour, then the girl I was paired with to train against those straw dummies by the targets.”

Taeyang finally realized what all this fire under his skin meant, what that ache he felt biting into him as Y/N drew his breath to talk about the girls within the castle walls. It was his first taste of jealousy, and his first realization that he held Y/N in a regard that he never had with anybody else before. Nobody else made him gravitate in this way, everything he could need revolved around him and the crown, not the other way around, but Y/N - all of Y/N - seemed to shift that gravity in a second, leave Taeyang wanting and needing and missing and longing, feeling nothing but this bitterness whenever he can actually see Y/N out of his reach like this.

These feelings, these indeterminable blurs of emotion, they all belonged to Y/N.

Taeyang wanted to find a way to shift all the weight from off his chest, to make it easier to support a smile against Y/N’s haphazard one. “I’ll make sure she takes your spot at the ceremony.” He smiled as Y/N flinched against his words, looking up with awe-stricken, nearly pleading eyes.

“Hey!” Y/N snapped his hand up and slapped Taeyang’s chest, but didn’t realize until too late what he just did. Friend or not, he just hit the Prince. Not even seconds after he tried to bring his hand back down - his arm frozen in the hair out of pure shock - and Y/N was already tripping over himself, scrambling to lean up from Taeyang’s lap. “Oh… Oh my… I’m so sorry… I…”

Taeyang held Y/N down by the shoulders, though, catching him with as wild and angered a glare as he could pretend to make. “You dare inflict harm upon The Prince!? I condemn thee to execution!”

Everything hung in the air after Taeyang’s declaration.

“Really-”

“No! You twat…” Taeyang reached down to make even more of a mess of Y/N’s hair, finally making an excuse to tuck that unruly lock of hair behind Y/N’s ear, away from his face. He felt Y/N relax almost instantly, as many held breaths as Y/N could fit in his chest all leaking out at once. With all the jokes they toss around like nothing Taeyang would have expected more of Y/N, but, despite how Y/N forgoes all the courtesies that come with worshipping the crown, he still carries the faintest amounts of respect and chivalry.

He was already perfect, Y/N was already Taeyang’s knight in shining armour.

“Wait…” Y/N, now sure that he wasn’t standing inches away from certain death by gallows or anything like that, began to pick apart Taeyang’s words with a sinister smile that Taeyang was already bracing himself for. “So you said I had a spot at the ceremony?”

“You bloody-”

A smack to Y/N’s mail-armoured chest was cut off by the stiff and serrated call of the General, commanding all squires to fall back onto the training field. Y/N shot up with a gleeful smile, scrambled for his training sword and bid Taeyang a rushed wave farewell, Taeyang barely even had the time to muster a frustrated glare or call back, or even let out an irritated sigh before Y/N was already gone, rushing to join the fray that collected by the field.

All Taeyang could do now was look over the parapet and into the field, where he could barely make out Y/N from the rest of the crowd as soon as he slid his helmet on, undoing all the inner turmoil and conflict Taeyang underwent in order to finally build the courage to fix his hair. However, he never truly lost Y/N, he could pick him out of a crowd of ten, of hundreds, of the entire kingdom if he had to.

Y/N’s stolen glances up to where Taeyang was sitting also helped. Taeyang didn’t know for sure, but he hoped Y/N shared his smiles whenever he threw them his way.

“I still remember the knighting ceremony, you know.” Y/N leaned back in his seat, stretching out his legs out as he could already see Taeyang’s sheepish expression begin to take him over. He felt himself smiling at it, the way he kept peeking over the King’s shoulder to catch Taeyang shifting in his seat, a suppressed smile stretched tightly across his lips as he did his best to hold back his excitement for Y/N’s knighting.

Despite the embarrassment that resurfaced with every time Y/N would bring up Taeyang burst at the seams, struggling to hold himself back for the hours that the knighting ceremony lasted for, all Taeyang could feel was this overwhelming pride. He was just so proud of Y/N for making that far - he knew for a fact that Y/N was going to become one of their most well respected knights. Now that Taeyang is close to becoming King - his coronation is within the next week or so - he might finally be able to rope Y/N into joining the royal guard. The only reason as to why Y/N hasn’t become the royal guard’s treasured member was simply because Y/N wanted to stay where he was - Taeyang respected that to an extent, but that didn’t stop him from pleading to his late father every opportunity he got.

“You almost embarrassed yourself several times in front of all the castle’s people. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.” Y/N chuckled to himself, remembering so clearly how he stepped up to the dais to get knighted by Taeyang’s father, only to see Taeyang’s bitten-lipped smile, hands under his thighs to prevent them from shooting up into the air, and jaw tightened in order to fasten a whoop of excitement down to his chest. “But, speaking of, someone else here’s gonna be having his very own ceremony soon…”

Y/N looked up, the glimmers in his eyes something in between apologetic and casual; compassionate. Y/N’s gaze whenever it settled on Taeyang, it was always so compassionate. Taeyang fought so hard for the flush he could feel welling up beneath his skin to stay there, not show in his cheeks, neck, around his ears where his hair would always stick out from under his circlets. He didn’t know how long he could hold back all these emotions from Y/N - at this point, even the weight of Y/N’s eyes on him was too much to bear without feeling fires twist up in his stomach, tie knots in his throat.

It felt like he was drowning, submerged in his own unintelligible mess of thoughts and feelings, and he didn’t know when he’d ever be able to breach the surface. There was an instance where Taeyang was really close, thrashing fingers meeting the waves’ threshold for one moment that was gone the moment he could feel air against his skin. Maybe he should’ve said anything then, when the light shining through the castle windows hit Y/N the exact same, in the most delicate, effortless way as ivory sunlight spilled down Y/N’s chest, fell against his skin and lit up his smile in a way Taeyang couldn’t conceive.

That moment in particular, was when Taeyang realized he had nobody left, nobody but Y/N. It was the day of his father’s death, the day Taeyang understood what the golds and royal blues in his blood really meant, who he really was and who he was now forced to become. He never felt the weight of the throne on him until that moment, and he was so close to buckling under it all, snapping his crown over his knee and abandoning everything he knew. He was only inches before breaking until Y/N caught him, held him still and reminded him to keep his head up, not let the crown fall from his head - how the crown fitted perfectly, it fitted his boundless ego.

With everything Taeyang was supposed to amount to, all the things set in line for him that looked more like rows of dominoes, ready to fall, he simply accepted the fact that he’d never be good enough, and that his father’s only child would be a disappointment to the crown’s legacy.

But Y/N’s endless support, his reminders of how much Taeyang deserved, mattered, and how much Taeyang was truly worthy of, assured Taeyang that Y/N knew him more than Taeyang could ever know of himself. He was ready, he was deserving; there was going to be a lot of pressure, the weight and demands of an entire kingdom rested on his shoulders, but with Y/N there to steady his hands, he realized that he could hold the entire world in them if he wanted to.

It was at that moment, Taeyang, his vision a blur of tears as he felt himself curl up in Y/N’s arms, could still see the soft smile on Y/N’s lips, the comfort that radiated from his mere presence, the softness of his voice, the way his hands held Taeyang’s tear-stained cheeks and swept his tears away with the weight of a spring breeze. They were so close, their lips were so close, their gentle smiles were so close, Y/N’s body was so close to his… A flicker of sunlight between them and everything that left Taeyang restless would be set to flames, reduced to ash, and all the tangled feelings wound up in him would snap.

But they didn’t seal their fates between their lips. Taeyang just pressed his forehead to Y/N’s as he held Taeyang by his neck, stroking back his hair in a moment of silence that was so profoundly blissful, yet so painful at the same time. Taeyang’s feelings weren’t just an ephemeral sparkle in the sky like the stars were to the night, they were this everlasting and intense mark on him, like the sunset’s colours were on everything it kissed goodnight. He didn’t like Y/N - those smiles as Y/N rounded corners to meet him, and his frowns as Y/N disappeared back around them to leave weren’t just affection. He loved Y/N, he loved Y/N more than anything he has ever known.

From that point, though, Taeyang didn’t know for how long he’d need to bury all of it under layers of petulant whines, stifled sighs and scrambles to take back the slips in his wording.

“You know, when dad died,” Taeyang fidgeted with his fingers, taking a breath that felt like embers on his tongue. “I didn’t think I could do it - take on the burden of the crown. I have the trust of all my people in my hands, and the only things I can think about are all the ways that I can fumble it - that trust…”

Taeyang didn’t feel how tightly wound his fists were until he felt Y/N’s soft touch open his fingers back up. Y/N took Taeyang’s hand in his own, gave it a reassuring squeeze without taking his eyes off the ground.

“I didn’t think I was worthy,” Taeyang continued, smiling down at Y/N as he watched him grab Taeyang’s other hand, pulling Taeyang closer toward Y/N by the delicate grip he had on his wrists. Shuffling forward on his seat, Taeyang leaned forward to rest his forehead against Y/N’s, a gesture they’ve always shared in tender moments such as these, yet the gravity of it doesn’t hit Taeyang until he could feel Y/N softening against his makeshift embrace, leaning against Taeyang. “But you helped me see everything I couldn’t, and you reminded me that I’m worthy. I couldn’t have done any of this without you - from saving me in the woods to saving me here…” Taeyang could barely finish before the sweetness of gentle laughter overtook him; he didn’t even need to string together the last of his words, Y/N was always there to finish them for him.

“My job is never done, your majesty…” Y/N said, his voice a shred of a whisper, barely weighing against the air. He still kept his hold on Taeyang’s hands and smiled as Taeyang caressed his knuckles with his thumbs, absently turning Y/N’s own hands over in his, surveying them.

Even after all Y/N’s put himself through as a knight, and his hands still feel as soft as they did when Y/N took Taeyang’s hand in his for the first time, helping him up from the ground on the fringes of that forest. They were so young, naive, and originally, Taeyang thought his mind was too much of a mess to fully realize all the things he was feeling. But even back then, the sparks of Taeyang’s admiration began to light.

“You’re going to make a great king, and I’ll be here for you every step of the way.”

“I wish you didn’t like patrolling so much so you could just be my hand already.” They shared a chuckle, thinking about how Y/N could’ve been promoted so many times by now; however, they both knew that Y/N wouldn’t be able to handle being cooped up within the castle walls for as long as the King’s hand would be. He enjoyed the limited freedom that patrolling the perimeters gave him - especially those times at lavender sunrises when he’d sneak off and feed the alley cats by the tavern not too far away from the castle’s walls. Not a lot of fresh air and sunlight makes it through the windows of the castle.

However, the stray dapples of sunlight that managed their way into the castle were all revolving around Y/N, setting his skin alight with shimmers, igniting his eyes as they took on this beautiful fire in them. No matter how powerful Taeyang can become with the crown on his head and the throne beneath him, it was Y/N who had the entire world revolving around him.

And Taeyang couldn’t do anything but feel himself fall into Y/N’s orbit like everything else around them.

“Can you put ‘long walks by the beach’ on the job application?” Y/N looked up, a sheepish yet sly smile on his face, one that Taeyang found himself still failing to resist; he’s not sure he’ll ever find the power in him to do so.

“Well, as King, I think arrangements can be made.” Taeyang titled his head with a grin of his own. Even as the Prince, there are a lot of things that Taeyang would do just to have Y/N a little closer to him every day - to make their time together more than chiselling out free time and making excuses for their absences.

“Perfect, I’ll consider it-” Y/N was halfway through shining another smile until he heard an all-too-familiar call of the general’s horn leaking through the cracks of the throne room. Y/N was due for receiving his round of orders for the remainder of the day, as well, he was also set to aid in training a group of especially promising squires. He loved attending to his duties as much as the next knight, however, all he wanted to do right now was to be stuck with Taeyang right here, two moons adrift in the throne room’s endless space. “Shit… Duty calls, I need to go.”

“O-okay.”

Taeyang felt all of this radiant joy, a feeling that burned from the inside out in the best way, immediately fade away as Y/N stood up from his seat, hesitating to turn toward the doorway. For some arbitrary reason that twisted up in his stomach, pounded at his head and left him breathless with each second he left Y/N to drift away toward the stone archway they stumbled through to carve out some free time together, Taeyang felt that this moment, this particular moment was what stood between him and this irreconcilable end.

Suddenly, feeling the weight in him drop and practically bring him to the floor, Taeyang knew that he couldn’t let Y/N go this time. He can’t. If he does, Y/N will be lost to him in a way that would always be just slightly beyond him - Y/N would be so close to him, always, yet constantly far enough for Taeyang to see the gap between them, the leap of faith that Taeyang would fail to take.

There was an onslaught of thoughts in Taeyang’s head as he traced Y/N’s steps toward the exit. Everything they’ve ever been through, all the instances that triggered within Taeyang feelings he never knew existed before he stumbled into that damned forest and found Y/N on the other side… It all began to revolve around him in this shimmering, blinding and disorienting orbit, hovering and looming over him like a jewel studded crown - the crown that Y/N reminded him he was worthy of..

“WAIT!” Taeyang’s shrill and sudden cry, a plea that scorched the air, made Y/N still and whip around instantly, his eyes immediately fixing onto the near-desperate shine that arose in Taeyang’s. “Y-Y/N… I need to tell you something.” Taeyang didn’t even wait until Y/N retraced his few steps and made his way back toward their seats, his face contorted in confusion and concern for Taeyang’s outburst - Taeyang was done waiting, done watching his seams burst beyond repair with all the time he’s had to hold himself back from telling Y/N how he really felt.

He stopped for nothing, his heart knotted in his throat, his blood tangling in his veins with every moment he held his breath and felt his pulse nearly bring him to his knees. Y/N’s eyes weighed heavy on him now, his silent, inquisitive gaze like a shaft of moonlight thrust suddenly upon him. He felt drenched in Y/N’s silence, but he didn’t care, nothing - his doubts, his inhibitions, the commands that always stripped them from each other the moment he built the courage; nothing - was going to stop him.

“What is it, Taeyang? Are you alright?” Y/N said, tilting his head, and trying to get a read of the way Taeyang’s expressions seemed to flash between all the things he’s ever felt, all the things Y/N’s never been there to see him feel.

“I just… I can’t let you slip away this time.” There were times where Taeyang cared too much about what he was saying, measuring his words, cutting them like precious cloth in case Y/N would pick up on the scraps too soon. Now he didn’t, he poured all his weight into them now, spilled all the blood that Y/N’s teasing and beautiful smiles would send straight to Taeyang’s cheeks.

“What- what do you mean…?” To Y/N, Taeyang’s words felt like blows to his head, leaving his thoughts a blur. As he could see the conflict that now resided behind Taeyang’s once shimmering eyes, he soon realized that this wasn’t about what Y/N could see, what he felt as Taeyang let his words out. He shuffled a little bit closer and watched carefully as Taeyang rose from his seat, reaching out with shaking hands toward Y/N’s. Their fingertips brushed, slowly settling between each other, hanging on the fringes of each other.

“What I mean is…” Taeyang tried to steel himself, steadying his voice in the same way he did as his father would force him to make speeches to the royal court. This wasn’t the royal court, though, this wasn’t the kingdom he swore to serve, it wasn't even another country prepared for his reading of a treaty or a trade agreement. None of those situations could ever be like this - standing in front of the person who was his driving force, the wind in his sails, the person he’d take an arrow, a sword, or poisoned wine for. This was Y/N, his entire world.

He didn’t think he was prepared to speak to his entire world…

“I…”

Drawing a sharp, deep breath in, Taeyang felt the sunlight stilling between them, Y/N’s hand hanging from the edges of his. So close yet so far. He wanted to close the gap.

“I love you, Y/N.”

Taeyang’s words draped against the air, eclipsing the light trickling through the windows. A massive weight shoved from Taeyang’s chest now rested between them, and all they laid before both of them now was the silence that rested in between.

He wanted Y/N to say something, do something. Curse at him, yell at him, push him, shove him, hold him at the edge of his sword, grab him by the collar and renounce all the nothings they’ve whispered sweetly to each other, shatter his crown and take back all his belief in him. Even move his hand, his fingers from where they rested between Taeyang’s - recoil in disgust or fear like the shadows of Taeyang’s doubts always yearned for.

But Y/N didn’t move, not an inch - forward or back. His face remained stoic, unmoving, unintelligible like all the rest of the feelings Taeyang battled relentlessly to share.

Until, suddenly, Y/N stepped forward, bringing Taeyang’s hand in his gently, carefully; like how Y/N handled the lilies they’d find blooming at the bases of the trees by ‘their’ forest whenever they’d find the time during sunset to take walks together. Taeyang would watch him with such fascination as he seemed to take all the sunset’s colours in his hands, too, his eyes igniting in copper fires, the shimmer of gilded skies in his skin as if he’d been dipped into the clouds where all their laughter would be sent into.

Y/N finally looked up again to meet his eyes, pure bliss in them, dancing like leaping sparks, shining like stars, a small smile blooming on his lips like the slow trickle of sunlight against the dawn.

“Taeyang…” Y/N’s eyes flicked down for a moment to track Taeyang’s hand with his fingers - as if he hasn’t already memorized where the scar from their first play-fight ran to his wrist, where the ebbs and flows of his knuckles resided, where a couple of his veins settled just beneath his skin, twisting gently like molten gold leaking from a forge. They were the hands he’s always dreamed of holding whenever Taeyang wouldn’t be dreaming of holding Y/N’s first. “How could you think, even for a moment, that I could ever not love you too?”

It was as if the entire room let out a breath of relief that nearly knocked them over. Taeyang let out a weak whimper and fell into Y/N’s already opening arms, the frayed ends of his sigh turning into laughter as he buried himself in Y/N’s shoulder. The burnished hide of Y/N’s shoulder armour prodded at Taeyang’s neck as he shifted in Y/N’s embrace, but Taeyang’s never felt more comfortable, more at ease, and more at home than right now.

“You think you could’ve told me a little bit sooner!?” Taeyang tried to hit Y/N, nudge him in his side, but he didn’t want to let go for even a split second. He kept his arms around Y/N’s waist, pulling him in closer, ever closer, until they couldn’t tell the space between their bodies, until the colours between them melded into a blur the sunlight couldn’t define. “A little bit of ‘hey, I like you too’ wouldn’t have hurt!”

“I didn’t really know if you liked me like that. So I kept my mouth shut until I knew for sure…” Y/N, with his arms looped around Taeyang’s neck, rose on his toes as Taeyang pulled him in and up a little bit more, nestling himself further into Y/N’s neck and shoulder. “I know we’ve shared some special moments, but I couldn’t help but think about all the things in our way, and how far away you seemed from me.”

“I… I guess that’s a sufficient excuse…” Taeyang, raising his head from Y/N’s shoulder, thought about the love they shared, and how it was going to be a far from simple process of finding a way to live with it out in the open. If they kept their love a secret, they’d be suffocating every part of them that wished to be free, and if they were free, they’d have political power players pulling antique rugs from beneath their feet, finding ways to compromise the throne even further. “I never really thought about it like that.”

“Me neither, I never thought it out this far - the whole confession part.” Y/N fidgeted with the hem of Taeyang’s tunic, stifling his jumbled words into Taeyang’s shoulder with a deep breath. With all the relief that came with them, there was twice the pressure of what would come with the aftermath of what their love would do to each other, the kingdom, the crown, and everything else.

Maybe people would support them, the star-crossed love between a king and his most loyal knight, maybe they wouldn’t - there would be no heirs biologically tied to Taeyang’s blood, no legacy to carry like a sceptre through the generations.

But Taeyang was going to find a way, he was going to find a way to make things work and let everyone know, every inch of this kingdom, who he loves and how much love he has to share. He’s worthy, he’s strong, he’s capable - and so is Y/N.

“Maybe we don’t need to, though. We don’t need to think that far.” Taeyang stepped back and took Y/N’s face in his hands. He hated the way Y/N’s worry traced lines in his face, forcing out a frown that could never be seen in the light of Y/N’s persistent smile. Taeyang wanted to do anything and everything to see it fade away. “I love you, you love me… That’s all we have to worry about right now. No stupid crowns or legacies or futures or anything like that, Y/N.”

Their eyes met, and there was this comfort that burned between them, singeing the ends of Y/N’s pensive pout and bringing back that beautiful smile. Taeyang was right, they had each other, they found each other in the way they were always meant to. For now, that was enough.

Taeyang hasn’t even gotten his crown yet, still dawning the circlet he’s had since Y/N fixed it for him - balanced it atop Taeyang’s head - at the edge of that forest, and he’s already speaking like a king. Inspiration, passion, warmth, and power already radiated from him, his voice settling against him like an evening haze

“Whatever it is that comes, we have each other.” Y/N said with a chuckle, practically completing Taeyang’s thoughts before he could let them out.

Taeyang smiled, fingertips dancing along Y/N’s jaw, stars between their lips colliding as they pulled each other in and tied their lips together. It was everything they dreamed of but more. They could feel everything yet nothing, flickers of sunsets they’ve burned black, the sweetness of old jokes they have yet to glance over hundreds of times, that numbness between them as they felt sparks against their hands, fires on their skin, this intangible craving blooming in between them.

They pulled back, gravity collapsing in on itself as they felt themselves drifting in place, swaying motionlessly to the melody that played in all their moments of restless longing.

“If I have you,” Taeyang whispered as he rested his forehead against Y/N’s, his whispers hanging from Y/N’s lips. “Then whatever stands in our way doesn’t have a chance…”

Y/N was Taeyang’s second half, the embrace of evening to his emerging dawn, the smooth effortless edges that ran against his serrated surface, Y/N completed him, filling in all the blanks he’s spent hours wondering how to fill. He was the weightlessness in his wings and the stars in his sky, his everything.

Whatever would come to stand in their way really didn’t have a chance. None at all.

#kpop #kpop x reader #kpop x male reader #kpop male reader #sf9 #sf9 x reader #sf9 x male reader #sf9 taeyang #sf9 taeyang x reader #sf9 taeyang x male reader #taeyang #taeyang x reader #taeyang x male reader #yoo taeyang #yoo taeyang x male reader #sf9 male reader #x male reader #kpop imagines

85 notes · View notes

speedystarshine · 2 years

Note

I think u do Darius fics-

But imagine Darius having a male S/O who's struggling and is very insecure but one day when Darius is out, Y/N starts overthinking a lot and doubting that Darius loves someone like him. He soon comes home to Y/N crying by the mirror and just comforts them 🤲💕

It would mean the world to me if you did male reader, it helps me feel like a boy 🙂

Ack sorry y'all! I've had the big C and its not going away anytime soon, so I've came back. Got a lot of fics out soon, look out for those!

Your relationship with Darius was relatively healthy, both of you being there for each other when you need be. Sometimes though, due to your different professions, that wasn't possible. Like tonight, for example. A meeting had come up, and he had to go, of course he did. But you couldn't help worry as the clock ticked just over to midnight. Titan, where was he?

To stop worrying, you decided to go on your scroll. This didn't help however, since everything was boring you and you ended up going through the two of your private messages, where he had left a little voice message, three hours ago. You clicked it.

Y/N, I apologize but I won't be home for a little while yet. You know how it is, work and yada yada. I'll be back soon though, I promise. My day off is soon, we might even be able to have a spa day. Can you imagine that? I certainly can. Unfortunately, I have to go. I love you, and again, i'll be back soon.

The recording came to a stop, and you felt tears dripping down your face. Titan, you hated it when this would happen. Usually, Darius would comfort you and then the two of you would watch a movie, or cuddle, or something.

But he wasn't here.

You frowned. Did he ever get tired of seeing you like this? It didn't happen often, but you could clearly picture the worry every time. You hated worrying him, but you couldn't help it. What if he wanted someone who was much more low maintenance? He was a coven head, he had plenty of others he could have.

You were full on crying now, not noticing the click of the front door being shut.

Then two arms wrapped around you, which made you cry harder.

"That's all right love, let it all out." You felt his comforting breathe on his neck, and after a while of you sniffing and hiccuping, you slowly relaxed into his arms. He gently turned you to face him. "Are you all right now?" You nodded. "What happened?"

You couldn't look him in the eye, so instead you looked down at the scroll you had discarded a while ago. "Just thinking."

He raised an eyebrow, as if ushering you to go on. "Yo- I was worried about how long you had been gone, and I was just thinking that maybe.. You-" He cut you off. "Were with someone else?" You nodded, looking embarrassed. He sighed softly, before giving your hand a tight squeeze. "Look at me."

You did, albeit hesitantly. "I... I feel like the luckiest witch in the world to be with you. You're so sweet, and amazing, and everything I could possibly wish for. And, you actually like my tea."

You let out a little giggle at that.

"It hurts every time I have to leave you, because I worry about you." He paused seeing your guilty expression, and took your face into his hands. "I would make every little bit of your pain go away if I could, but I can't. Only you can. But please understand, that I love you. And nothing is going to change that."

You sniffled slightly, melting into his touch. "Thank you." He smiled at you, kissing your forehead. "It's no problem. Here, how about we watch that series you were going on about yesterday?"

"I would like that."

------------------------------------------------

There you go anon, so sorry it took so long!

#anon asks #toh x reader #the owl house x reader #toh #the owl house #darius x reader #the owl house darius x reader #yandere darius x reader #yandere toh

93 notes · View notes

uselessidiotsquad · 1 year

Text

Should you fight my characters? Plant Flavor!

Back at it with more!

Riaghael

Battle Music: Saltillo - A Necessary End

Should you fight Riag? Look I get it, you get it, even he gets it - he's not the most amiable person in the world. He's usually grumpy and sometimes even an asshole. He wouldn't even be mad at if you if you tried to fight him. But no one is winning from this fight. You will likely feel like crap trying to fight someone who (is trying but) cannot fight back, and guaranteed he will feel even worse. Trying to fight someone who is well aware of that they aren't what they used to be is a little mean - so please don't fight the grump.

Who initiates the battle? You would have to, he knows he can't win in fights anymore so he doesn't try to start anything.

Who would win? You would. He physically can't wield weapons anymore and mentally/psychologically is unable to deal with the stress of it. It wouldn't even be a fair fight, he would summon minions to try to defend himself but that's it. You would still be able to take him down pretty quickly.

Deiliús

Battle Music: anoice - finale

Should you fight Dei? They are the least threatening person you can encounter. ...so why on Tyria would you? The only reason I could ever see someone trying to fight them is them being a rigid 'All NMC are evil and must die' type of person. They have all the strength of wet tissue paper and are allergic to conflict. Don't fight them. You stand nothing to gain from it (besides my unwavering disapproval).

Who initiates the battle? You would HAVE to. They would expend all of their energy just trying to run from you than have to fight. Even if cornered they would try to fend off attacks but not fight back.

Who would win? There's no question that you would win. It would be like kicking a stray cat on the street that had just gotten its ass kicked from other cats. Their magic is illusion based for concealment or psychological harm (which they hated using and only did in the past because they were forced to) not for attacking. It wouldn't even really be a fight, it would be you kicking their ass.

Under the cut to save your dash!

Naechdion

Battle Music: Shadow of the Colossus OST - Silence

Should you fight Dion? No! Absolutely not! He's minding his own business in the Wychmire and is already scared of everything. Leave him be.

Who would initiate the battle? You would have to start it - but that means finding him first. He's very good at hiding.

Who would win? You would, but then you would probably have to fight me because Dion doesn't deserve to be picked on. He's bad at Guardian magic and scared of everything, he would probably be shaking in a corner as soon as you got anywhere near him.

Ruby Aenn

Battle Music: Dallas String Quartet - Firework

Should you fight Ruby? Ruby is always up for a good fair sparring session. Actual fights, she thinks can be avoided with enough discussion but sparring for practice is fun! She's game for a bit of a spat if you are!

Who would initiate the fight? 50/50! She might want to warm up before a bigger skirmish and ask you to spar with her. Or perhaps you feel like trying the Prismatic Dragon's Champion on for size.

Who would win? Ruby has some very clear strong points and weaknesses. For one, she's tiny, just at 4'9, so her center of balance makes her harder to take down. Most especially challenging is that she changes her fight strategy depending on which pet she is soulbound to. So that's tricky. However, it is easy to bait while attuned to specific animals and that makes her slip up because the animal side wins. It would be fair!

Madrúil

Battle Music: The Dali Thundering Concept - There is no Calm Before the Storm (Instrumental)

Should you fight Mad? Oh god, please kick his ass. He has made life hell for a lot of innocent people and deserves to get the shit kicked out of him. You would be making a lot of people happy.

Who would initiate the fight? Chances are Mad would since he thinks with his fists more often than his brain. Or he would be trying to abduct you for his hounds to 'play with' so you had to defend yourself.

Who would win? Tricky. Mad is good at both long range with his bow and close melee with axes, but struggles at mid-range. If you have something that can keep him just close enough to you to not be able to use his long bow but not so close you meet the axe, you can probably out last him. That is until he goes full chicken shit and gets other Blasphemy goonies to try and waylay you. He's not above being a slime ball to win.

Countess Diamhasla

Battle Music: Romanian Folk Dances, Sz 56: III. Pe-loc - Andante

Should you fight Diam? PLEASE DO. Can I help? I would love to help. We can throw her down a well. She sets people up for failure, and when they are at their most vulnerable she 'saves' them, only to then hold that over their head to get what she wants. She's fragile and has poor health but I'm not above beating her leafy head in with a mallet.

Who would initiate the battle? You would, she doesn't do fighting. Usually letting her henchmen do the dirty work for her. Half of the issue of fighting her is actually getting to her, she's fairly well defended.

Who would win? She's scary good at earth magic, so the key would be to interrupt her before she can summon too many elementals or the huge earthen hands to grab you. If you can hit hard and fast, you win, easy. But if you let her get too many spells off it's looking like she will win.

Warden Captain Cálguais

Battle music: Andry Vinogradov - Chain Dance

Should you fight Cal? They're the most honorable (to the point of being insufferable) person to fight. If you asked for an honorable dual they would be happy to oblige you but in any other situations they would not. To spar for the sake of improvement (since they will be telling you the whole time where you could have done better) sure! Fight them!

Who would initiate the battle? Either you asking to spar with them or them training baby Wardens and asking you to spar as an example.

Who would win? Likely you would, but not easily. They are pretty competent at fighting but they tend to be rigid and fixed in their training they learned so they can't always adapt to new threats.

Glanaim

Battle music: Gallowstreet - Fisticuffs

Should you fight Glan? Sure, as long as you realize he treats fighting like flirting half the time. Morally he's a grey person so you don't have much to lose by fighting him. He doesn't kill people unless he's paid to do so so go for it!

Who would initiate the fight? Depends! If he's in a good mood, he'll ask you to spar with him. Otherwise you'd have to approach the topic.

Who would win? If you give him any distance at all, he will win so fast it makes your head spin. He's a sniper, and a damn good one at that. If you go after him in melee you have a very strong chance of winning, since he's not as good with pistols as he is with his rifle. (bonus there's a high chance he asks you out for a drink and then a rematch later).

Caonai

Battle Music: Skyrim OST - Tooth and Claw

Should you fight Cao? I don't recommend it. She doesn't see the point of fighting without killing - so if you challenge her one of you is going down for good. Plus she's an older lady who just is trying to care for her siblings. Sure, she may not have social skills, but she keeps to herself.

Who initiates the battle? If she thinks you are going to harm her siblings or pose a threat to the remnants of her family, she will absolutely start it. And give you no warning, you will just have a Norn sized, winter-hardened Warrior after you.

Who would win? Cao would win unless you run away mid-fight. She fights to kill, not to spar. While she is not as strong as some of my other kiddos, she is very slow and unyielding. She aims to break your defenses before going in for any major damage with her mace. If you run, she might not chase you - having tired herself out.

Caemdryn

Battle Music: LORN - ENTANGLED

Should you fight Caem? Honestly, it's up to you. While he is not a bad person, he has so much anger (mainly at Charr and the Jungle but it bleeds over) that it makes him a twat at times. Would there be any major negatives to getting rid of him? No. Any positives? Not really.

Who would initiate the battle? I think you would have to but it wouldn't take much. All it would take is a comment about Sylvari being dragon minions in any shape or form to get him defensive and then he will be after you.

Who would win? In close quarters, Caem, hands down. He hits hard and fast and has no small amount of fury/unhinged behind it. At distance he can't really attack but he can block and shield himself from most projectiles. Best bet would be to try and slow/cripple him and then get him from range so he can't close the space.

#gw2 #ocs #sylvari #Riaghael #Deiliús #Naechdion #Dion #Ruby Aenn #Caonai #Glanaim #Countess Diamhasla #Madrúil #Calguais #caemdryn

11 notes · View notes

linnheidi · 2 years

Text

Today I had to leave the bookshop I work in because I was in too much pain. I felt really bad for leaving mid-shift but I could not stand up properly and I was breathing really heard. Luckily my boss let me go home without hesitation and I walked out of the store with my head lowered and trying to be brave with every step. I was on the verge of crying and I was scared of meeting anyone I knew. The pain hit me during my lunch break. It was a firelike pressure in my belly and I felt warm and the intensity of the pain made me nauseous. I locked myself in the bathroom lying down on the floor trying to do some yoga moves that has aided me before. It felt horrible, I knew my lunchbreak would finish soon. I just wanted to fix me and feel less. I pulled myself off the floor hoping whatever I had done horizontally had improved my vertical body but the pain persisted and I was breathing harder. I am defeated! I had to leave the breakroom and into the store, at the busiest time of the day, not showing pain and at the same time holding back tears. This has happened a couple of times before but it must have been at least a year ago since the last time. When this used to happen, the pain paired with the post-cancer concerns was a strike to my core. A train of the worst thoughts always enter in trances of pain; is the cancer back? The pain reminded me of a time just days after receving the bad news. Bryn cooked me some dinner days before I was sceduled for surgery and after eating for a few moments I found myself wallowing in pain under the dining table (by then my tumor had blocked my colon and I had to be hospitalised). I remember that pain too well. I felt it a bit today and it scared me more than I like to admit. I am not sure why my gut wrenched me from the inside today. Was it to remind me that I can still have cancer? Why is my body doing this to me? Even though it feels like a long time ago already, its less than two years since I finished my chemo treatment. I have had plenty of gut pains since and I thought I had learned ways to feel better. Nothing I did today felt better. I felt completely under siege by my own body. I could not command, convince or manipulate my body into betterness. The painkillers I took had no effect. I just rolled around in bed, moving my body around to find a hint of a soothing position. For the first time since my surgery I wish I had stronger pain killers. I got rid of the stronger prescripted pain killers when I finished my treatment because I hated them. They represented the sick me and I wanted to removed them from my home. Now I wish I had saved them. After hours of mysterious pain convulsions I was able to breathe easiere and uncurl the ball of agony I had folded myself into. Pain is complicated. I am not sure what instigated my opus of pain today, but I am sure my thoughts and gut trauma made it a lot worse. In a few months I am going back to the hospital for another follow up control. I am glad to be examined and to make sure everything is ok, but I hate it.. so much!

#www.linnheidistokkedal.com #personal #analog photographer #photography #linn heidi stokkedal #photographer #analog #snapshot #analog photography #colorfilm #35mm #staybrokeshootfilm #Mustarinda #residency #Finland #fuckcancer

31 notes · View notes

morganlefaye79 · 2 years

Text

OC Interview Questions

Your name is?

Joris, but most people call me Jojo, or know me by my workname DÆMONS_DÆDTH

Are you single?

I will probably be soon. I left my partner back in Europe without saying a word why or where I went.

But I think when I’m ready to just leave, it wasn’t worth it anymore, even if it sounds harsh.

She will get over it.

Are you happy?

No, That’s why I’m here.

Are you angry?

Not yet, I guess it depends on the questions you’re asking.

Are your parents still married?

Both my parents are dead, so no.

=NINE FACTS=

Birth place?

Night City, but I grew up in Europe with my uncle and aunt. My dad couldn’t keep both kids for some reasons.

Hair color?

Dark brown, but I colour them, mostly black or dark grey.

Eye color?

Blue-grey

Birthday?

June 2nd

Mood?

annoyed

Gender?

male

Summer or winter?

Back in Europe I would have said winter, with snow etc. I heard here in NC it is just the difference between warm and warmer so why choose?

Morning or afternoon?

Depends on when I wake up, but its mostly afternoons.

=EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE=

Are you in love?

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not really, it didn’t happen to me and I think it is just a romantic ideal people are chasing to pretend that that hot guy or gal are "the one".

Who ended your last relationship?

It is officially not over yet, but I was the one who left so, I think it’s on me then.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

A few times.

Don’t look that judgemental! I never claimed to be a saint.

Are you afraid of commitments?

No but I try to avoid them.

Have you hugged someone within the last week?

My (ex)partner, back in Europe.

Have you ever had a secret admirer?

I don’t know. They’re secret.

Have you ever broken your own heart?

No, why would I do something that stupid?

=SIX CHOICES=

Love or lust?

Love doesn’t seem to work for me, so I go with lust.

Lemonade or iced tea?

Jenever

Cats or dogs?

both

A few best friends or many regular friends?

I prefer a few good friends but I was never that lucky to find close friends. I just arrived here so I have had no time to make friends yet.

Wild night out or romantic night in?

I’m more inclined to dancing and music, wild nights suit me more, but I can see the advantages in romantic nights.

Day or night?

Night of course

=FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS=

Been caught sneaking out?

A few times until I got better sneaking skills

Fallen down/up the stairs?

Yeah once when I was drunk, that did actually hurt a lot, and I walked funny for some days.

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?

Yes, I wanted to see my parents, well actually my dad because my mom died when I was young. But my dad died too a few years back and I never got the chance.

Wanted to disappear?

No, not in a sense of emotional or physical inconvenience. But as a netrunner I had some close calls where I actually wanted to disappear to get out of there.

=FOUR PREFERENCES=

Smile or eyes?

Eyes, smiles can be faked. When we talking strangers.

Smiles from people you care about are one of the biggest gifts you can receive.

Shorter or taller?

No preference. I am relatively tall with my, hm, I think it’s 6”2. So taller than I would mean knocking your head on everything because you’re so high up.

Intelligence or attraction?

Both are nice to have, but I prefer intelligence over attraction.

Hook-up or relationship?

Unless the “love at first sight” doesn’t strike me, I take the hook-ups.

=FAMILY=

Do you and your family get along?

I only have a brother left, but I don’t know him yet. So I don’t know.

Would you say you have a “messed up life”?

Could have been worse I guess. I wouldn’t call it messed up. I was rather sheltered by my foster parents.

Have you ever run away from home?

Often, I was always rebellious. I made my foster parents' life harder than I had to.

Have you ever gotten kicked out?

No, they always took me back in when I ran away.

=FRIENDS=

Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

Would you consider someone you hate a friend? I wouldn’t!

Do you consider all of your friends good friends?

No, those friends I have in Europe are only my friends because of my uncle’s heritage.

Who is your best friend?

I don’t have any.

Who knows everything about you?

No one.

#cyberpunk 2077 #oc interview #my oc #oc: Joris

7 notes · View notes

i-can-even-burn-salad · 2 years

Text

Truth

Thorns & Jasmine

In which Caldyn finally talks to Breannan.

Warnings: He’s struggling with a lot of things (chronic pain, blindness, betrayal and loss of his magic) but nothing is really happening here

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Breannan led Caldyn back into the study room, to the blankets and pillows on the floor, and helped him to sit down. The way his friend leaned back against the wall, pressing his hands on his left thigh, arms trembling, made his core ache. He shouldn’t have pushed him so far, shouldn’t have brought Lily today, shouldn’t have made him walk so soon. It was so easy to think about all the things he shouldn’t do, especially in hindsight; it was much harder to figure out what the right thing to do was.

The little dog snuck up to Caldyn as soon as he had settled down. Ears flat on its head, it sniffed Caldyn’s leaves and his hand, before allowing its friend to pet it.

“Are you alright?” Breannan asked, knowing the answer — he wasn’t — and expecting the usual reply of ‘I’m fine’.

“No.” The quiet word Caldyn said instead made Breannan freeze. “It hurts. And I’m tired. And scared. And…” He paused, forming silent words that didn’t want to leave his lips. Breannan watched him anxiously, until Caldyn finally managed to whisper, “I’m sorry. Today is a bad day. I dreamed of Gawyn.”

Breannan hated how much these words relieved him. What had happened was horrible, and that it still haunted his friend’s sleep was even worse, but it was a reason. It was an explanation for Caldyn’s behavior on this day, an explanation that had nothing to do with anything he had done wrong.

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

He watched Caldyn shake his head and sighed quietly. A quick glance back into the main room told him that Lily had left. Breannan wasn’t sure what to make of her, of her vigorous energy. Perhaps it was too much for Caldyn. Or perhaps he needed exactly that, it was so hard to tell. He considered letting his friend rest a bit, going back to his desk, staring blankly at the pages of a book while listening for every noise, no matter how small, instead of reading.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” he asked another question, half expecting a shrug, if he’d get an answer at all. But Caldyn hesitated before shaking his head again.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

The vulnerability Caldyn allowed in his words’ meaning, as he so rarely did, cut through Breannan’s core. He hurried towards him, sitting down on the ground next to him, lifting the pillow that had been lying there and placing it on his lap instead.

“I’ll stay. As long as you want. Do you want me to take your hand?”

Instead of answering, Caldyn raised his arm and Breannan took his hand. Closing his fingers around Caldyn’s, he rested both their hands on the pillow on his lap. After a moment, he took his other hand as well, stroking the back of Caldyn’s hand, and his fingers, watching him slowly relax. Caldyn’s other hand was still gripping his thigh, but the way his fingers massaged his vines didn’t look as strained anymore.

The dog watched the two of them for a moment, before deciding that the hands were probably too busy to keep petting it now. With a quiet huff, it curled up next to Caldyn, burying its nose under a paw and closing its eyes.

“Do you dream of him often?” Breannan asked after a while. He absolutely wasn’t sure this was a good question to ask, but he was desperate to understand Caldyn better, to perhaps find a way to help him; or to at least notice when it was better to leave him alone.

Caldyn nodded.

Breannan knew the nightmares had become more frequent, as soon as Caldyn’s body had recovered enough to find sleep rather than unconsciousness. It was just that Breannan had always assumed those nightmares to be about everything that had happened to him, the Ceodh had done to him. He hadn’t thought about how horrible it must be to dream of happier days, of his lover, and then wake up and remember that he was gone.

Another thought surfaced, freezing his core. What if it was both?

“Did you…” He had to pause, to try and swallow the lump in his throat. “Did you see him there? As a lost one?”

Caldyn nodded quietly and his hand in Breannan’s started to tremble.

“Did he hurt you?”

This time, Caldyn didn’t even manage to nod, but the shaking of his hand was answer enough. Breannan closed his eyes, taking deep breaths against the sick feeling that had taken over his stomach. How, after all this time, was it possible that the images he had in his head still turned worse?

“Lily says I should go out more, start punching some trees.”

Caldyn’s words snapped him out of his thoughts. He couldn’t help but notice that his friend’s voice was shaking. He was probably desperate to change the topic, and Breannan would gladly do so.

“You? Punching?” Breannan tried to laugh at the image, but there wasn’t enough joy in him to make that sound really work. “You’d rather hug them and let them tell you—” He froze before he had finished the sentence, seeing Caldyn wince the moment he had realized the direction his mentor’s words were taking. “I’m sorry,” Breannan whispered, cursing himself.

“They won’t be telling me anything anymore. I feel… like there is nothing left of me,” Caldyn said quietly after long minutes of silence. “Everything I was, everything I loved is gone.” His chest rose in a desperate laugh. “What good is a healer who can’t heal?” He shook his head. “I guess some things are left. Our… the house in the village.” He was quiet for a bit, and Breannan could see that he was thinking. “Actually…” he then started, breaking off again after only one word.

“Do you want to go back there?” Breannan asked. “I know it’s quite far, but I’m sure we’d find a way,” he offered, full of hope. Perhaps Caldyn would want to take some of his things, return to a familiar place. Whatever Caldyn would want to do, anything was better than just doing nothing. His next words, however, shattered this hope.

“No. Could you take care that it… that the chroniclers know it’s free. And make sure that everything inside finds someone who needs it, or is thrown away.”

“Everything?” Breannan asked quietly.

Caldyn nodded. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to cause you this much work. But I can’t stand the thought of keeping the things…” He swallowed. “The things I shared with Gawyn. And I don’t think… I can ever return. To take care of it myself.” He sighed, rubbing his temples. Breannan had noticed that often before, and he wondered if Caldyn’s head hurt. “I don’t think I could, even if I could walk that far.”

“I think I understand,” Breannan said, even if it was only partially true. He had lots of things; not only books, but so many little tools and trinkets, statuettes, mechanisms and more. Everything he had gathered in almost fifty years of traveling the world and teaching his students. But to him, all those objects reminded him of people he loved, of wonders he had seen, of things he had learned. They didn’t remind him of anything he had lost, or of the worst betrayal possible.

“I’ll make sure of it,” he assured Caldyn, earning a small, grateful smile in return.

Desperate to cheer him up a bit, Breannan tried to think of something he could do for him. Caldyn needed something to distract himself, and it had to be something that didn’t require him to move very much. Coming up with something like that wasn’t easy; unlike him, Caldyn had never been one to spend his time indoors, with books or papers.

Breannan thought of the materials he had to prepare for one of the next classes, and an idea formed in his mind. He wasn’t sure if it would work, but it was worth a try.

“You know, if you’re bored, you could help me prepare some things for class. I’ll have to cut a lot of little cubes out of softwood. I could get you a new knife too, if you want nothing from your old stuff back. Get it made just for you, like the—”

“No!”

A single word, so vehemently spoken, it made Breannan flinch. He tried to understand what had caused it, what he had done wrong this time, watching Caldyn for any clue. He had taken his hand back, lifted it halfway towards his chest. New leaves had grown there, covering most of his torso, but Breannan knew every single scar that was hidden beneath. Caldyn didn’t quite touch them, but his fingers twitched.

“They… they took it.” Caldyn shivered. “They used it, they—”

He shook his head, lowering his hand. His fingers rested on some of the brown leaves, reaching almost to his neck. Breannan knew which scars were beneath, he could still see the deep cuts and missing bark.

“I just… wanted to do something. Anything. To help you. But I’m just making it worse,” he whispered and the last, lingering remains of hurt vanished, having been replaced by dread. “I’m sorry.”

The image of the knife he had gifted his former student being used to cause those horrible wounds made his stomach turn. He fought to push back the memories of cut bark, focusing on his breaths to suppress the feeling of his lungs being unable to expand properly. Perhaps he should be glad Caldyn didn’t want to talk about it, he thought bitterly.

“Don’t.” Caldyn sighed, raising his head, then leaning it weakly back against the wall, so he was facing his mentor. “That’s why I never wanted to tell you. You do so much for me. And all I do is hurt you. Bring your memories back. When I say… when I said a wrong word, I could feel it, I— I’m sorry that I’m such a burden.”

“Don’t say that.” Breannan had to blink against the tears in his eyes as he reached for Caldyn’s hand once more, softly pulling it away from the scars on his chest. “You’re not a burden, and you’re not hurting me. You’re my friend, and I would do anything to help you get better.”

“What if I’ll never get better.”

It wasn’t even a question; it sounded like silent resignation.

“Then you’ll stay, and we’ll grow old together, and you’ll have to listen to me ramble about my books until you know them all so well as if you had read them yourself.” He paused for a moment, watching Caldyn for any kind of reaction, but there was none. “But I believe you will,” he then added. “You’ve spent so much time surviving, you’re just now starting to live again. And I know you, I know you want to live. It will take time. But I believe you will get better.”

“But not today,” Caldyn said quietly, the meaning behind his words not quite as desperate as before.

“Not today,” Breannan agreed. “Today you rest. Come.”

He guided Caldyn to lie down and bed his head on the pillow on his lap. The dog yawned as it opened its eyes, moving out of the way, just to settle down next to Caldyn again as soon as he was lying still. It nuzzled its head against his chest, whining quietly, and got rewarded with a hand softly scratching its head.

Breannan smiled. His friend hadn’t been this close to him in weeks, ever since he had been able to lock out the aether and the terror it brought. Since he had insisted that Breannan slept in his bed again, claiming that he didn't need him around all the time anymore. Caldyn had done it to push him away, but to protect him, Breannan now realized.

As he stroked the broken branches of his friend’s hair, Breannan felt strangely calm. His hand moved to Caldyn’s temple, rubbing his bark in soft circles, like Caldyn had done it earlier. It was hard to accept that there was nothing he could do; it was better than to think that there was something he had done wrong.

“Do you want to hear the story about how the council of races was founded?” he asked quietly.

“I would like that,” Caldyn replied.

By now, Breannan had told all the stories he knew multiple times, but he didn’t mind repeating them, and Caldyn didn’t seem to mind listening to them again.

“Many years ago, in a time before the races lived in peace, before the first kalani awoke, a little dragon lived,” he started, finding comfort in the familiar words.

By the time he had finished the story, Caldyn was long asleep. Breannan freed himself, placing the pillow Caldyn’s head was resting upon on the floor. He picked up a second pillow to put it under Caldyn’s left knee, like he had seen him do it so often. Then he grabbed another pillow, laying down next to his friend, the little dog between them. It was barely evening, but he didn’t want to leave Caldyn alone, so he closed his eyes, trying to get a bit of sleep himself. He was no longer used to sleeping on the floor, but he was determined to stay, to try and keep the nightmares away for a while.

And if he succeeded, perhaps the next day would be a better one.

Tagging: @dont-touch-my-soup @whump-cravings

#Thorns and Jasmine #whump #fantasy whump #non human whumpee #recovery whump #blind whumpee #my writing

6 notes · View notes

fisherfurbearer · 5 years

Text

Updates

Well.

It’s my 21st birthday today.

I’ve been very quiet here since winter, but in actuality so much has happened. I’m still sorry for being-here but not-being-here, and vanishing on everyone waiting on art, but it’s really been a whirlwind. Just a real wild ride.

I had this big, rambling post written up, explaining what’s happened so far this year and what’s been going on, but I don’t think it’s necessary really. What matters is that I’ve made it this far. This time six months ago I really wasn’t sure if I’d make it to see today. But. Here I am.

I feel like life has been pretty unrelenting in the past few years, and it never seems to end. Between this post and my last text posts, I’ve had another Break Down due to problems with work and doctors, and it’s been pretty terrifying, but I think it’s going to be okay. We’re not out of the woods and I really need to focus on this right now so I still won’t have time to get back into art (which I do plan on doing!! But it’s really not fair to anyone for me to start up again when I’m still not completely stable) and everything else.

But hey. Even after that recent disaster, I’m still here. I’ve been on much better meds for almost 5 months now, I’ve been figuring out what I want to do with my life, and I have my second wind. Things have been getting a lot better (even though a LOT has also been going wrong, but such is life, and we get through it!) and I’ve been on the right track for several months now. I think I’m truly happy.

I’m still here and so is most everyone else. I figure it’s about time I do an update on everyone, as this is a pet blog after all, and I think it’s best to let everyone know how we’re all doing. It’s been a long time since I really talked about everyone properly, and a lot has happened. So here’s the all-encompassing update on everyone:

INVERTS

I posted about this a bit before, but yes. At the start of July I found that I lost about half of the tarantulas. While I think in general we were doing okay picking up the pieces from everything that happened, not everyone was alright. It’s my fault, and I take responsibility. I don’t care how tough things were, it wasn’t fair to them that I let them go unnoticed for too long. Most of the slings passed away, they got too dry, and the more moisture dependent ones passed away as well, including Boopus, Conte, Lucy, and Cassini.

There is a huge hole in my heart from losing them. I will never let this happen again. I don’t CARE how hard things get for me, I will NEVER let my illness take the lives of the ones I care about ever again. I don’t know if it’s the right decision to continue keeping Ts at all after what happened, but since it did, Jessie and I had a very serious conversation about was has to change if I want to keep the remaining Ts. I’ve spent a lot of time re-working how I care for everyone, and so far, everyone has been recovering VERY well. The remaining Ts are: Agnes, Deckard, Isidore, Montag, Winnipeg, Wilder, Flaveri, Kessler, Kitty, and Turnip. They are all fat and hydrated and doing better. Deckard and Isidore molted successfully, and Winnipeg is deep in pre-molt. Montag had some sort of weird kinda-mites-but-not-mites thing going on, but I got most of them off and they’ve been doing really well for about a month now.

Suffice to say I think everyone is going to be okay. The ones that are here. I do love them deeply and I need to not let my illness get in the way of them. My depression was slowly eating away at everything I loved, including them and my desire and ability to care for them, but I will never let it happen again. No matter what, I’ll do what’s best for them, even if it’s a tough decision.

As for the other inverts...the roaches are all doing very well. Red goblins have had their ups and downs but the colony is big and thriving. I finally have adults again and babies are cropping up once more. My dubia colony is finally stable and they’ve been delightful waste disposals for all the ugly peppers and bolted greens from our poor little garden. The rothi, the Original Dig Sons, are STILL kicking. I thought the female was gone but she cropped up again and is as gigantic and cute as ever. They’re chubby and happy and digging like champs. The little kenyans are also doing well!! I’m moving them in with the dubia and they seem to thrive with them. Everyone is peaceful and passive to one another, and by being in the bigger colony they have much more space and food options than before.

All in all, the inverts are recovering and doing okay. I also have thriving isopod cultures in the geckos’ vivs, and they’re doing very well! Lots of orange P. pruinosis in there.

REPTILES

Vladimir and Estragon are doing WONDERFULLY. After the fire I was very worried about the smoke, but both geckos have been perfectly fine and very active and healthy, especially as the weathers warmed up. Estragon is exploring all the time now, and has recovered well after all the stress of moving around so much earlier this year. As I type this he’s climbing the glass of his viv and mleming the air. He’s such a little man and I love him. I’ve been watering the vivariums properly again and they’ve been exploding with growth! Not all the plants made it but the ones left actually need trimming, they’re growing too fast!! The local pet place has lots of vivarium plants available actually and I got a couple that I’m going to plant in the empty spots for the boys. So right now the vivs definitely look a little wonky, but it’s nothing we can’t fix, and the boys themselves are doing GREAT. They lost a little weight after all the chaos, but Gogo is a good chunky boy and Didi is doing awesome too!! Eating lots and he even catches the loose roaches that have been living in the leaf litter, which is pretty cool to watch and great enrichment for him. My little men have been doing so good and I’m so happy that we’re all okay. <3

MAMMALS

Before the fire, I had recently gotten my very first rats, which was a huge deal on here, if any of you remember that!! Java, Lisp, and Python have been thankfully 100% okay after the fire, and have suffered 0 smoke injury! They were farther from where it happened, but there was definitely some smell in my room but now, eight months later, I think it’s safe to say that they’re unaffected. The rats are doing GREAT. They get pampered every single day by everyone here, and my roommate LOVES them. Even when I couldn’t take care of them, he’d feed them and squish them daily, which was a huge help while I dealt with all the craziness. I’m getting back into the routine and taking over their care again, but I can’t thank him enough for his help.

The rats are now THE BIGGEST BOYS and Java is the BEST bean!!! He went from peeping and running away when we first got him to bruxing like CRAZY whenever we hold him and he loves being squished. I don’t know why. They all just love being held and squished and Lisp has some really unsettling Extreme Happy Boggles when we do it, he loves being crushed. (Not that we actually “crush” them, just gently pretend to squish them with our hands while joking about squashing them into pancakes)

They get so much love every single day, and they’ve been one of the best things to ever happen to us. Unfortunately since moving here (and I wasn’t aware of this until the day of move-in, haha, lucky me...) they’ve had to live in the basement which is colder than I’d like and makes it hard for me to care for them, but soon we’re switching to 100% fleece and they’ll be able to live up here with us properly!! I’m so excited about it and it’ll make caring for them so much easier. I’m so excited.

OH and how could I forget. I put off saying this but we DO have a few more pet friends since I last mentioned everyone in December. We bought five little mice into our home many months ago, and their names are Awesome Opossom, Moggles the Mole, Inspector Beans, Bhombus, and Trungalo. They were one of the best things ever, for me. They’re the perfect fit for our lives and they’ve been thriving since we got them. They’re so relaxing and wonderful, and they are incredibly calm and squishy little girls. Sadly, Possie passed away a month or so after she came here (she was almost like a FTT...she was doing so well, then she just...she wasn’t growing like everyone else, no matter what I did, and one day she just. Didn’t make it. We found her snuggled up in her favorite hide in a pile of fleece. No one bothered her. She passed away peacefully.) and she just...she was here for such a short time but she changed everyone’s lives forever. She was the most incredible little thing. She was so outgoing and sweet and when we bought them home she instantly became Nick’s favorite little friend. I’d come home from work and he’d be in the middle of the living room playing with her. He loved her so, so much and even though the mice “are mine” I really think Possie was his. She was a very special little thing and I’m glad she could spend the last of her time with us. She was an incredible little animal.

All in all though...the rodents are doing good. It still hurts my heart that Possie passed away but we did everything we could and we had a special little service for her under the big tree in the backyard, and we will never forget her. I kinda wish everyone here could’ve gotten to know her too. She was really something special.

Otherwise...ahh gosh it feels really sad to say anything else after talking about Possie. She was so, so wonderful, but so are the remaining meecers. Mice are weird. They’re just so small and gentle and wonderful, and I’m really happy to have them with us.

Oh yes!! And there are two more little friends who joined us. I researched getting birds for a few years, and back in mid-April in my area there was a couple having to rehome some of their button quail. They hatched and raised them by hand, and I talked it through with Jessie and we jumped on the opportunity to adopt a pair. It worked out wonderfully for everyone and now it’s been about four months with us and they’re doing fantastic. Their names are Wasabi (male) and Mushroom (female) and they’re an extremely devoted mated pair and we love them. They’re in our front living room and while we don’t/can’t handle them they have become so outgoing in their own way and I’ve learned so much about caring for them over the past few months. They’re very relaxing to care for and any time I slack a bit with anything, they let me know by tapping the front of the enclosure until I investigate and fix whatever’s wrong. It’s actually really helpful and over time I’ve gotten much better and now they hardly ever pace or tap the front, which makes me feel like I’m doing something right. They seem peaceful and spend a lot of their time with each other and bathing in their dirt bath or foraging for treats. c:

All in all, we’re really getting there and have been getting so much better since The Disaster that was winter. The animals are doing great/much better, I’m getting better (although the recent scare is still a drain and I do have to work 12-9 pm today but so it goes...) and it’s going to be alright, I think. And I have a very supportive partner and awesome roommate and friends and I can’t thank them enough for helping me get this far. I wouldn’t be here without them.

Well anyway. Happy birthday to me, I spent way too long writing this and now I need to rush to get ready to work for the rest of the day/night. But so it goes, I’ve been through worse. c;

#update #personal #animal update #my pets #i gotta post pictures sometime of everyone #just a bit embarassed cause the vivs look kinda ugly right now #some plants are gangly and others are growing like weeds and it doesnt look very professional #and the rats are unfortunately in the basement right now which doesnt look very nice...#i hate having them down there and its made everything a lot harder but soon theyll be up here again and itll be a lot easier #and better for everyone #also bless nick for being so awesome and helping with them #he really loves the rats and on the days im working until 9 pm hes a huge help #he feeds them and gives them pets and picks them up every day #and soon when theyre up here itll be even easier to just. Pick Up a rat and hang out with them #itll be good #ohh and i gotta show everyone the meecers #theyre SO GOOD such good friends #theyre all angora and suuuuper soft and wonderful #theyre really entertaining and calming to play with and take care of #i love the rats and i love the mice and i love the geckos and the quail and the Ts and the roaches #BUT NO MORE PETS FOR A WHILE.#HOO.#im VERY HAPPY with my limit right now and i dont want to go beyond this until like. im 1000% stable and good for a while!!!#anyway wow i ramble a lot #happy birthday to me #long post #text post

2 notes · View notes

sluttywonwoo · 3 years

Text

high-rise || k.sy x reader

Summary: (ceo!au… ish) walking around your apartment naked has never been a problem, since you live in a high-rise and no one can see in, at least that’s what you thought…

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, smut (18+) additional warnings under the cut

Word Count: 9.1k

a/n: reworked this piece originally posted on my tom holland fic account ( @wazzupmrstark )

Masterlist

additional warnings: mutual masturbation, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, spanking, choking, degradation, sir kink if you squint

Your scarf was the first thing to hit the floor, followed shortly by your blazer. You toed off your heels as you simultaneously fumbled with the zipper on the back of your skirt, cursing when the fabric snagged the metal teeth. You were sweating with effort by the time you started rolling off your tights, making the task at hand that much more difficult. You kept your button-down on and kicked the rest of the clothes to the side, making a mental note to add them to the laundry later.

One of the (admittedly many) perks of living in a New York City penthouse was the view. Your apartment was ninety percent windows, which were a bitch to clean, but the sights you were privy to made it all worth it.

Manhattan was beautiful at any time of day, but you especially enjoyed it in the evenings. By the time you got home from work the late afternoon sun had begun to set, and you got to watch the soft pinks and oranges of the sunset fade into dusk. Rainy days and snowy days were up there on the list too. You were so high up that your apartment sometimes found itself submerged in the middle of a cloud. You could watch the rain fall onto the city below, or try to make out the horizon through the fog.

Even though your apartment was practically a glass box, being so high up offered you the luxury of privacy, which was why you usually didn’t bother with clothes. The only reason you were still wearing your shirt now was to shake off the chill from outside, but it would soon join the pile by the door.

You turned on the gas fireplace in the living room before making your way to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of the white wine you had opened earlier that week. It was a gift from a client, and not something you would have picked for yourself, but alcohol was alcohol and you wouldn’t dream of letting it go to waste.

You knew you should probably eat something before diving back into the paperwork you had brought home with you, but you were itching to get to it. You would never admit it, but your relationship with your job wasn’t the healthiest. All of your friends knew you were married to your work. Your colleagues and bosses knew it too. And deep down so did you. Maybe that’s why you hadn’t been on a date in... a while. It’s what you told yourself.

Even as you were perusing the options of takeout containers full of leftovers in your fridge you couldn’t stop thinking about the files waiting for you in your briefcase. You had to go over resumès and applications for an open position in your company to familiarize yourself with the candidates before you interviewed them in-person tomorrow.

Your fridge beeped at you, letting you know its door was still open as if you had walked away and forgotten to close it, unaware that you were still standing right in front of it.

“I know, I know,” you sighed and grabbed the styrofoam box of half-eaten sarme from your favorite Albanian restaurant down the street.

As the food warmed in the microwave, you gave in to the urge and retrieved your briefcase from by the door, discarding your shirt with your other clothes while you were over there.

You were just in your panties now, a thong if you were being specific. As much as you hated wearing them, they were the only underwear that wouldn’t show through your skirts and slacks.

You settled on the floor in front of the coffee table with your glass of wine and folder full of documents. The fire burned steadily as you flipped through them and made notes in the margins. Your cabbage rolls were lukewarm around the edges and cold in the middle, but still good nonetheless and you finished the rest. You had been hungrier than you thought.

“Mark Wescott... graduated from Georgetown University in 2013, nice! With a degree in... business admin... real fucking original,” you muttered to yourself, “but he’s got good references and decent experience... so... maybe?”

You uncapped the yellow highlighter in your hand with your teeth and ran it over his name and info at the top. You had a color-coded system for applicants. Pink for top priority, yellow for mid, and orange for low.

“None of these are impressive,” you decided after combing through all of the applications. You shook your head at the stack of papers and pushed them to the side. “Maybe they’ll be better in-person.”

You knew that wasn’t true, but it was getting late and you knew you should get at least a little bit of sleep before tomorrow. You had a lot riding on this hire, so you knew you needed to be coherent enough to sit through eight hours of interviews.

You brought your glass of wine to your lips and downed the last of it. “Here’s to hoping we’ll find the one.”

Soonyoung ran a hand through his hair and blew out a sigh. He was already overwhelmed just looking at the stacks of cardboard boxes in front of him, he couldn’t even think about unpacking them yet.

He needed to find the box with all of his suits, at the very least. He couldn’t roll up to his interview tomorrow in the gray sweats and t-shirt he was wearing now, not if he actually wanted the job.

Moving into his new place the day before an interview had been a good idea in theory. But as he grabbed the box cutter from the counter and started slicing open random boxes with no sense of direction Soonyoung was beginning to rethink his decision.

“Why didn’t I label any of these?” he muttered to himself, cursing at yet another box full of DVDs.

It didn’t help that everything was wrapped in newspaper and impossible to identify at first glance. He knew it helped protect things from breaking and shifting around during travel, but it was already making the task at hand twice as long. He had planned to route the walk from the subway station to the office that evening. He wanted to practice the commute and time it so that he wouldn’t be late in the morning, but as the sunlight began to dwindle from the room he knew he wouldn’t have time. He would just have to get up extra early tomorrow.

At least the new apartment was nice. His last job back in Seoul had set him up nicely to be able to afford a place in the heart of Manhattan. It was on the small side compared to what he was used to, but he didn’t need much space since it was just him living there.

Everything was up to date and all of the appliances were brand new. There was an in-unit washer and dryer tucked away in one of the closets, and the dining area had real exposed brick walls. Soonyoung didn’t know what those things meant, but his realtor had told him they were good.

The sun had set completely by the time Soonyoung finally found his suits. He’d had to plug in one of his table lamps and set it on the floor in the middle of searching just to be able to see what he was looking at.

He hung a few options up in his new closet, hoping some of the wrinkles would ease from the fabric overnight.

With that done, Soonyoung figured he might as well unpack some of the boxes he’d already opened. It wasn’t efficient work, seeing as he had neglected to label anything, but Soonyoung managed to put away some dishes, shoes, and miscellaneous sheets and towels before he finally checked the clock again and realized how late it was.

Most of the windows in the surrounding buildings had already gone dark for the night, except for those of the apartment directly across from his. It was in the only other high-rise that was as tall as his, making the illuminated unit at the top stick out even more.

It was then that Soonyoung realized he could see directly into the apartment. He smiled to himself, taking comfort in the fact that he wasn’t alone in being up at such a late hour. He wondered who his night-owl of a neighbor might be. His question was answered moments later when a shadow of movement caught his attention.

A woman who looked to be about his age emerged from a hallway carrying a stack of papers. He couldn’t make out the details of her face from where he was, but as she stepped into the light he could tell that she was naked.

Soonyoung immediately averted his gaze, snapping his head in the opposite direction so fast that he heard his neck crack. He gave it a second or two before looking back, assuming she was gone annnd nope. He squeezed his eyes shut a second time and turned his entire body away from the window. Now she was just... sitting in her living room? Completely naked? He wasn’t one to judge, but the knowledge alone was enough to make being a gentleman harder... amongst other things.

“Focus,” he told himself, resisting the urge to glance at the window. “Don’t be a creep.”

He attempted to resume his unpacking, only to find himself distracted every few minutes, sneaking glances at the window unconsciously. Every time he caught himself looking he was doused in a fresh wave of guilt. He knew it was wrong, but for whatever reason he couldn’t stop himself. The irony of being a peeping tom was not lost on him.

Soonyoung watched as the girl in the window stood from her spot on the floor and stretched, watched as her muscles tensed and relaxed when she raised her arms above her head. A mix of shame and arousal burned in his stomach as his eyes traced the outline of her curves.

All of the sudden it occurred to him that she could also probably see into his apartment. If she were to look over right now she’d see him standing like an idiot in the window practically gawking at her from fifty feet away. He panicked and lunged to turn off the lamp that was still sitting on the floor so that the whole room went dark.

That night as he lay in bed trying to fall asleep, Soonyoung thought about the stranger across the way. He wondered if there was a reason for her state of undress. If she had been waiting for someone, or if that someone had just left. Was that why she was up as late as he was? At least she was getting some. He wished he could say the same for himself.

“This is starting to get sad,” he mumbled and buried his face in his hands. ‘Starting to’ was being generous and he knew it.

He wished the morning would come, wished he was on his way to his job interview already, but every time he checked the time only a few minutes had gone by. He knew he wasn’t going to get much sleep anyway, at least if it was morning he’d be able to do something productive and get his mind off the girl in the window.

Soonyoung rolled over away from his bedroom window and pulled the blankets tighter around his shoulders. He could hear ambulance sirens and car horns from the street down below, the ambience of the traffic lulling the city to sleep.

Your morning started like any other. Your alarm went off at six-thirty and you snoozed it until seven, groaning when you finally dragged yourself out of bed. You turned on the shower and brewed a pot of coffee while you waited for the water to heat up.

You had been trying to get into tea recently, slowly working on cutting coffee out of your life completely and making the switch to the much healthier alternative. Tea had less caffeine and offered a whole range of health benefits that coffee didn’t. You’d read endless articles about how much better it was for you, but it wasn’t as coffee

The switch would be going a lot better if you didn’t let yourself make excuses to keep drinking coffee every morning. It would probably also be going a lot better if you weren’t guilt-chugging that cup (or two) of coffee before leaving your apartment six minutes earlier than usual to catch the 8:00 train instead of the 8:10 train just so you could grab a to-go cup of earl gray from the tea shop down the street from your office and drink that as you walked into work so that you could continue to keep up the charade that your tea-drinking endeavors were going well in front of your coworkers.

The glass was already foggy when you returned to take your shower. You wanted to be at the office early today to set up for the interviews so you tied up your hair and quickly rinsed off. The soapy water hadn’t even finished draining from the tile floor before you were out and wrapping yourself up in a towel.

You dried yourself off and dropped the towel in your hamper, not bothering with clothes yet. You walked back into the kitchen and poured yourself a cup of coffee.

You sipped it as you turned on the stove and cracked an egg into a pan. You usually liked to have a bagel or a quick granola bar before work, but when you were feeling fancy you liked to make yourself a couple slices of avocado toast for breakfast. You had decided that today was a fancy day.

You popped the bread in the toaster as the eggs fried and sliced a ripe avocado in the meantime. As soon as you were done with that, it was time to flip the eggs and put the toast on a plate.

You finished your first cup of coffee and went to pour yourself a second, but thought better of it. You’d be sitting in one place for a majority of the day and too much caffeine would make you fidgety and anxious if you didn’t have a way to diffuse the energy.

You ate your breakfast at the bar in your kitchen, looking over the stack of resumes one last time as you did.

“Are you ready for today?” one of your supervisors, Carolina, asked as soon as she saw you walk in the door.

You took a sip of tea from the paper cup in your hand and grimaced. “I’ve been dreading it all week.”

“At least it’ll be over by tonight.”

“Sure, this round will be over, but then there’s still follow-up interviews and training and-”

“Whoa, whoa, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. This is the worst part, and we’ve just got to take it one thing at a time.”

You sighed. “You’re right, sorry.”

Carolina smiled and nodded her head in the direction of the hall. “Conference Room B is all set up for you when you’re ready. Page me to let me know when I can send the candidates in.”

“Got it, thanks.”

You set yourself up with your laptop and paperwork at one end of the table, and left the seat across from you open for the interviewee.

The morning dragged by at an agonizingly slow pace. Each potential hire seemed determined to bore you to death with their graduate school anecdotes and corporate buzzwords. They were all the same. Too stiff, too self-absorbed, too-

“Y/n, we’ve got your next one ready for you.”

You cleared your throat before pressing the speak button on the intercom, having been lost in thought when Carolina’s voice began echoing throughout the room.

“Sounds good, you can send them over to me.”

You sat up a little straighter in your chair and brushed yourself off. You’d been interviewing for a couple hours straight already, but you still wanted to look fresh-faced for everyone who came in. You were representing the company, after all, and interviews were just as much about trying to impress the candidates as it was about them trying to impress you.

You reached for your cup of tea before remembering it had probably long since gone cold and grimaced, perking up when you heard the familiar squeak of the door.

The young man offered you his hand before settling in the chair opposite yours with a polite smile.

“Mr.... Kwon,” you said, reading his name off of his resume in front of you. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” he agreed. “And you can call me Soonyoung.”

You quirked an eyebrow, but nodded. Straight past his last name and right to Soonyoung, interesting you mused to yourself as you scanned his profile again.

“Nice to meet you, Soonyoung. I’m y/n y/l/n. I’m a Senior Associate here and I’m just going to ask you a few questions about yourself, your work, typical interview stuff. Does that sound okay?”

“Sounds perfect.”

You paused and pretended to organize the papers in front of you while you discreetly gave him a once-over, making mental notes to yourself. He wore a Rolex on his left wrist. That told you that his last job had paid well enough to be able to afford one- either that or his parents came from money. You had a lot of trust-fund kids wasting your time today, you hoped he wasn’t another. Your office already reeked of nepotism and you just wanted this new hire to be on your side of things.

He was rather handsome too. Smartly dressed, sharp jawline, hair that was just barely tamed by gel, warm brown eyes that crinkled up in the corners when he smiled- you had to remind yourself not to stare.

“Alright, Soonyoung, why don’t you tell me a little about yourself?” The question always tasted bitter when you asked it and it was hard not to cringe. It was the most basic question in the book, but it was a good way to get to know what kind of an employee someone was.

“Uh, well, I just moved here from Seoul. I got in yesterday afternoon and still have loads to unpack, but I’m hoping to adjust quick. I was an Executive Consultant for five years at my last firm, and had just been promoted to Executive Manager last spring.” He paused to think. “What else... I really love to golf on my days off, and if I’m not golfing I’m usually at home watching movies.”

“A lot of our clients like to golf,” you commented off-handedly. “Are you any good?”

Soonyoung shrugged, smiling humbly. “I’m decent. I haven’t had the chance to play for real in a while.”

“Why’s that?” you were aware you were moving away from interview territory, but you told yourself it was relevant enough to pursue.

“Most of my recent games were taking clients out to golf at my old firm. I had to play like shit on purpose so they’d win and we’d close a deal.”

“Did you ever consider that maybe they were just better than you?” you asked.

Soonyoung narrowed his eyes the tiniest bit, but kept a polite smile on his face. “Trust me, I had to try very hard to lose.”

“So you had a pretty successful closing rate?”

“About twenty-six percent.”

You tried to hide your surprise, nodding as if that was a completely normal closing rate for your company.

“May I ask why you moved?” you continued.

“I’ve lived in Seoul my entire life. I wanted a change of scenery, I suppose.”

“Moving across the globe without the security of a job? That seems like quite a big risk.”

He gave another shrug. “What’s life without a few risks?”

You nodded, writing what he’d said down on the yellow notepad in front of you. Soonyoung shifted in his seat, subtly craning his neck to see across the table at what you were jotting down.

“Moving on,” you said and flipped the notebook over abruptly. The slap of the movement startled Soonyoung momentarily and he only let the deer-in-the-headlights look cross his features for a second before recomposing himself. “Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower?”

“I’m a switch,” he answered easily, eyes only widening in realization once the sentence left his mouth. “I mean, I can switch. I was in a management position at my last job, but I still had plenty of superiors to answer to. I started at an entry level in that company and worked my way up, so I have experience with both.”

“And do you have any qualms with being a subordinate to a woman? I ask because if you’re offered the position I would be your boss.”

Soonyoung shook his head in response, giving a small, almost imperceptible smirk. “Like I said.”

The rest of the interview passed by smoothly, and you didn’t realize how much time had passed until you glanced up at the clock above the door. You straightened the stack of papers in front of you to indicate that you were wrapping things up and stood from your chair to shake Soonyoung’s hand again.

“To be completely candid, Mr. Kwon- Soonyoung, you are overqualified for this position. However, our company offers plenty of mobility and your starting salary would be almost equal to your previous one. If you’re interested, I’d like to set up a follow-up interview with you tomorrow.”

Soonyoung smiled, and there went the crinkles of his eyes again, softening the sharpness of his features and making him look a couple years younger. “That sounds perfect. Thank you.”

“Great. On your way out you can schedule a time to meet with Carolina.”

“I’ll be sure to do that,” he assured you. “Thank you again.”

“Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow?” you hoped the question didn’t sound too hopeful.

“See you tomorrow.”

You went home feeling a thousand times better than you had that morning. The rest of the interviews had been a blur, and you couldn’t stop thinking about Soonyoung. He surpassed all of the other candidates in almost every aspect, and it didn’t hurt that he was easy on the eyes.

You knew your attraction to him was a problem. You couldn’t hire someone just because you thought they were hot. It was insanely biased, and extremely inappropriate, yet you couldn’t shake the thought of him from your mind. You would be crossing every line in the existence of lines by sleeping with him- that was, if he even felt the same way about you. It would be an unethical use of power, and totally unprofessional so you resolved not to even think about him in that way. Because there was no way around it. He was the best candidate for the job and a perfect addition to your team. You couldn’t not hire him.

The route home usually took about half an hour, but you walked at a faster pace this time because you were supposed to have dinner with a colleague at your apartment and you needed time to cook so there’d be food on the table when he got there.

You made it home in half the time, and kicked off your shoes by the door like you usually did, but kept your work clothes on.

To say you were unprepared for this dinner was an understatement. You barely had anything in your pantry and your cooking skills were subpar at best. Add the time crunch into the equation and it was a recipe for disaster. You could only throw a pot of water on the stove and crack open a jar of marinara sauce and hope for the best.

Soonyoung tried not to smile too wide as he walked out of the interview. He needed to remind himself that the job wasn’t his yet. He still had another interview to get through. Still, he figured a follow-up to be somewhat of a success and a good enough reason to treat himself to pizza.

By the time he made it back to his apartment it was almost dark out. His interview had been in the morning, but after walking two miles to get to the pizzeria he’d found on Yelp, getting on the wrong train twice and missing his stop, it was well into the afternoon. He was glad he’d ordered a whole pizza so he could have the leftovers for dinner, and wouldn’t have to venture out into the city again.

The cardboard boxes sprawled across his living room floor were an unwelcome sight, taunting him with their unlabeled contents, but he tried not to think about it. He deserved at least an hour of rest before he started unpacking again.

He pushed one of the heavier ones into the center of the room to use as a table and set the pizza box on top of it. After changing back into a t-shirt and sweats he settled on the floor with a grunt, twisting the cap off a bottle of beer with the hem of his shirt. He took a sip and let the bubbles soothe his throat.

He stared off out the window, attention snapping to the apartment across from his. Soonyoung realized he hadn’t thought about the girl in the window all day, and silently patted himself on the back for it. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to live with, and he wouldn’t have to spiral into a pattern of self-loathing every time he found himself looking. As long as he kept himself in check.

He let himself look for a little longer, promising himself that he would look away if he saw anything he wasn’t supposed to. The lights were on, like they had been last night, but he didn’t see the woman. He scanned the array of windows until he saw her sitting at the kitchen table. She wasn’t alone tonight. There was another person at the table with her, a man.

Soonyoung bit his lip and tried to ignore the way his heart sank. He didn’t even know this person, didn’t even know what her face looked like and here he was getting jealous of another person he didn’t know.

He tore his gaze away from the window and stared down at the floor.

“Stupid,” he muttered to himself and took another bite of his pizza even though he had lost his appetite.

People had crushes on strangers all the time. His would fade and soon he wouldn’t even be thinking of whoever it was in that apartment across the way. And if things went well with tomorrow’s interview, he had you. He hadn’t expected to be interviewed by someone his age, let alone someone as pretty as you. It had caught him off guard in the best way possible, and he found himself hanging onto every word you said.

But he wouldn’t be able to act on his feelings with you either, because if he was hired you would be his boss. And it would be completely inappropriate to harbor feelings like that for a colleague. He’d only lived here for a day. He would meet someone eventually. He just needed to give it time.

Joshua Hong wasn’t in town for long. He never was. You wondered why he bothered flying all the way to New York for a few conferences when he could just join them online, but he insisted that having face-to-face interactions were important for interpersonal connections and relationship building and so on.

Secretly, you believed the real reason to be that he missed you and your colleagues on the east coast and used business as an excuse to see you. He had lived in New York for a few years before moving to the LA division of your company. The shift in the dynamic of your team had taken a toll, and it took you months to forgive him for leaving. The first few times he came back to visit were nearly impossible to endure. Everyone was happy to see him, but you. You faked a smile and played along, but your relationship had never fully recovered.

Maybe it was because you’d always had a little crush on him, or because no one was there to take his place, leaving your team dividing his workload amongst yourselves with no additional compensation. The position you were currently hiring for actually used to be Joshua’s. It had taken nine months to convince the CEO to finally fill it, and he only agreed after one of your coworkers threatened to sue over breach of contract.

Even though you were certain that you and Joshua would never be as close as you had once been again, he still had you wrapped around his finger in some ways because you could never say no to him. When he’d asked to have dinner with you under the guise of work, you’d agreed on instinct, not considering how tired you would be or how strenuous it would be to see him again.

“This is really good,” Joshua complimented, twirling spaghetti around on his fork.

“You’re just saying that,” you countered and rolled your eyes as you sipped your wine.

“I’m not!”

“Please, I know LA has ruined you and turned you into a food snob. I watch your Instagram stories.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t love a good classic.”

“You and I both know this marinara is from a jar.”

He chuckled. “So? That doesn’t change the fact that it’s good.”

“Whatever.”

Joshua gave you an amused smile from across the table and placed his fork back down on his plate. “So I hear they’re finally replacing me?”

You nodded. “They are. ‘They’ being me.”

“Really?” he asked, eyebrows raised. “Anyone promising?”

“There’s this guy, Soonyoung, who might fit.”

“What’s he like?”

“He’s Korean, actually just moved here. He’s pretty charismatic too, but not in a sleazy salesman way. Kind of like you.”

“Is he better than me?” Joshua pressed, leaning forward with his elbows on the table.

“You know there’s no way to tell that yet,” you chided. “But he shows promise.”

“Let me see his profile.”

You shook your head. “Sorry, but you don’t have the clearance to see it.”

Joshua’s eyes widened like he couldn’t believe you were saying no to him, probably because he rarely heard it from you. “What, do we work in a government agency all of the sudden?”

“I have a lot riding on this hire, Joshua. I can’t let anything screw it up.” He seemed to surrender at that, nodding in understanding. “Did you ask me to dinner just to grill me about the new guy?”

“No! I wanted to see you,” he paused, “and make sure that you wouldn’t forget about me when I was replaced.”

You sighed, giving him a tired, perhaps wistful look. “Trust me, I couldn’t forget you if I tried.”

Joshua left around eleven, after several glasses of wine and helping you with the dishes. As much as you hated to admit it, you missed him. But you needed to move on, in more ways than one.

You stripped as soon as you locked the door behind him and threw your work clothes into the laundry basket.

You were a little tipsy from the wine, but you still had work to do before you could go to sleep. There was paperwork to finalize, and you still had to draft a rejection email for all of the candidates who weren’t moving on in the interviewing process.

You grabbed your briefcase and returned to the kitchen table, rolling your neck as you realized you had another long night ahead of you.

Soonyoung wasn’t aware that he was staring until the man stood from his seat and took the dishes from the table to the sink. The sudden motion pulled him back to reality and reminded him that he was sitting alone in the dark once again. He cursed under his breath and chugged the rest of his beer.

His pizza had gone cold in the time he’d spent trying to determine the relationship between the man and the woman in the apartment across from his. He couldn’t tell what they were, and not being able to read their facial expressions made it even harder.

He watched as they washed dishes shoulder to shoulder, telling himself that it was no different from people watching, which was untrue since the people in question weren’t in public, but he ignored the guilt twisting in his stomach and continued to watch. At least no one was naked this time.

The woman’s shoulders moved up and down in laughter, suggesting the man had said something funny. But then she was walking him to the door and letting him out, and that was it. Show was over.

So they weren’t together. At least, not yet. Soonyoung hated himself for the conclusion he’d just drawn, and he hated himself even more for feeling relieved.

Soonyoung leaned back to reach the lamp that was still on the floor and flicked it on so that he could see. He shoved the leftover pizza into the back of his fridge and returned to the living room to try and get a little more unpacking done.

He started with one of the boxes he’d opened the day before when he had been in search of his suits, and began sorting through its contents. He allowed himself another glance at the window to check if the man had returned, only to see the woman completely naked. Again.

“Jesus fucking christ,” he groaned and forcefully turned his eyes to the floor. He needed to buy some curtains as soon as possible because there was no way he would be able to be a respectful neighbor otherwise.

He blinked the image of her silhouette from his mind, trying not to dwell on the thought of her sitting at her kitchen table with nothing between her thighs and the chair.

He couldn’t focus. Every time he tried to get back to the task at hand his thoughts went to her. It was getting pathetic.

One more look. One more and then never again.

It seemed like a simple enough resolution and he promised God he would go to confession at the end of the week- even though it had been years since he’d been to mass.

He gave in to his curiosity and gave the window one final, longing glance. The woman was still at the table, concentrating on something in front of her. But something else caught Soonyoung’s attention this time. It was a snakeskin briefcase that sat on the table next to her. He had only noticed it because of the gold details on the bag that reflected the light, just like the one you-

A thousand different emotions flooded Soonyoung’s senses as the realization set in. It felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured over his head. There was no way-

It had to be a coincidence. Had to be. Two people could have the same briefcase... and the same body... and the same hair. As he thought back to his interview earlier that day he saw more and more similarities between you and the girl in the window.

He definitely needed to go to confession now. Not only had he been staring in the window of some naked woman, the woman might just be his future boss.

He felt sick, and despite it all he felt the familiar burn of arousal flicker to life in his stomach. There was no way he’d be getting any sleep tonight.

Soonyoung seemed different. Yesterday he had been confident, charming, and on top of every question you threw at him. Today, he seemed nervous. He was fidgety and distracted. He wouldn’t even make eye contact with you. He kept his gaze trained on your briefcase instead, refusing to take his eyes off of it.

You had been so sure that he was the one, but now you were thinking you might have to start from scratch.

“Soonyoung, are you okay?” you asked, your frustration turning into concern when he failed to answer your question for the third time. “Do you need me to repeat the question again?”

He looked up at you finally, eyes wide and cheeks pink. “Sorry,” he apologized.

“It’s okay.”

“No, I- I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I can’t do this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I- fuck,” he paused to take a deep breath and shook his head. “I don’t know how to put this, but I think... we’re neighbors.”

“Oh, you live in my building?”

You didn’t see a problem with that. You weren’t sure why it was something he would be tearing himself up over either.

“No, I don’t.”

“So... then how would we be neighbors?”

He averted his gaze again and swallowed harshly. “I live in the high-rise across from yours.”

You raised your eyebrows in question, feeling your pulse jump in warning. Your fingers inched toward the phone, ready to call security at a moment’s notice.

“And fuck, I really wanted this job, but um, I only know that because my apartment is literally right across from yours. And you have a lot of windows... that I can see into.”

You let his words sink in, hand retreating from the phone. “Oh my god.”

“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t trying to look or anything, I promise. Your windows are just so big. I didn’t even want to come in today because I felt so bad about it, but I figured you should know that it was possible to see into your apartment. Like other people might also be able to see you too. I just came to tell you that because I don’t think I’d be able to live my life just knowing that information and not telling you.” Soonyoung stopped talking finally, giving you an opportunity to respond. The tips of his ears were red with embarrassment and he looked like he wanted to jump out the window.

You were covering your mouth with shock by now, absolutely mortified. “I am so sorry,” you yelped. “I had no idea, oh my god. I hope you don’t feel... violated or anything.”

“Oh, not at all,” he assured you. “I felt the opposite, actually- I mean, I hope you don’t feel violated.” He stood from his chair before you could say anything else. “Anyway, thank you for your time.”

Soonyoung kicked himself the whole way to the subway station. That job had been the best opportunity he had at breaking into the industry here in New York and he’d fucked it. He could’ve kept his big mouth shut and pretended like everything was normal- but just the thought of that made bile rise in the back of his throat.

No, he was glad he had been honest. It just sucked that he’d lost such a good position, and ruined whatever nonexistent chance he had with you.

When he got home he threw all of his energy into unpacking. He was determined to make a real dent in the pile of boxes this time, and then maybe afterward fill out some job applications.

His apartment was actually starting to look livable by the time he took a break to eat leftover pizza for dinner. He’d unwrapped the plastic covering and bubble wrap from his couch so that he actually had a place to sit now, and he’d found a standing lamp to replace the table lamp sitting on the floor.

He was about to move on to a box full of clothes when he risked taking a look over at your apartment. To his surprise, you were standing in your living room, wearing nothing but a bra and panties. He furrowed his eyes in confusion, wondering why you were still choosing to walk around your apartment undressed with the knowledge that he could see you. But before he could look away his phone started buzzing in his pocket. It was an unsaved number, but he suddenly had the feeling he knew who it was.

“Hello?”

“Soonyoung?”

He recognized the voice immediately, and snapped his attention back over to the windows where he could see you looking back this time, phone pressed to your ear.

“Y/n.” He realized he had never called you by your first name before, and hoped you weren’t offended by it.

“The job’s yours if you want it.”

He blinked, staring right at you. “What?”

“The position. It’s yours if you want it. You were the best candidate by far and I think you’d make a great addition to the team.”

“You’re joking.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re serious?”

“I am.” He heard you take a breath before continuing. “You have time to think it over, of course. Let me know by the weekend.”

“I don’t need time to think,” he heard himself say.

“No?”

“No. I’ll take it.” “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Soonyoung?” you asked, reaching behind you and unclipping your bra. You caught the fabric and pressed it against your chest so that it wouldn’t slip down.

“Yeah?”

“Tell me if I’m overstepping.”

“You’re not overstepping,” he breathed, hand already traveling down to the waistband of his shorts.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

He watched with a slack jaw as you let the bra fall to the floor. You moved to the couch and draped yourself over it, opening your legs to give him a view of your whole body, from your pussy up to your neck. He pulled off his shirt and shimmied out of his shorts quickly so that you were on an even playing field. It was still uneven in his opinion. You were so beautiful, he felt inadequate in comparison. But the moan you let out upon seeing him shirtless boosted his ego the tiniest bit.

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” you murmured quietly into the phone.

“I don’t want to stop,” Soonyoung admitted.

“Me either.”

His breath caught in his throat as you pulled your panties down and let them join your bra on the floor. He was too far away to see anything in detail, but he could imagine. You brought a hand down in between your legs, spreading your wetness around with your fingers.

“Fuck,” he whispered.

He was hard. He was so hard that it was starting to hurt, and all he could think about was running his cock through your folds. Being the one to make your back arch off the couch like it was now.

He spat into his palm and began working his hand up and down his cock, sighing in relief.

“You sound so pretty,” you echoed, and Soonyoung straight up whimpered in response. He felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “God, I wish I had your fingers instead of mine. They’re so much longer.”

“Guess you’ll just have to imagine them,” Soonyoung said, finding his voice out of nowhere. It was your turn to whimper. “Picture them working you open, stretching you for my cock.”

“Soonyoung?” you asked hoarsely.

“Yeah?”

“Come over.”

“Fuck, right now?”

“Yes right now. I need you,” you whined. “Fiftieth floor, the door code is 0716.”

He heard the phone click as you hung up and that was all it took. He scrambled for his pants and shirt that he’d thrown somewhere in the room, tripping when he tried to jump into both legs of his shorts at the same time. He rushed out into the hallway and pressed the down button on the elevator repeatedly, like it would make it come any faster.

He tried to act like he wasn’t out of breath and held his hands together in front of his crotch in an attempt to hide his erection. The other people on the elevator ignored him, only addressing him to ask which floor he was going to.

Soonyoung swore he’d never run so fast in his entire life. He dodged taxis, bikers, and pedestrians as he crossed the street illegally and made it to the elevator of your building right before the doors shut.

You had put on a sheer robe while you waited for Soonyoung, not wanting to open the door completely naked, but you were beginning to have second thoughts. You were officially Soonyoung’s boss now, which meant that having sex with him was at the very top of the list of things you shouldn’t do. It would no doubt be considered a gross misuse of power, and to make matters worse he had literally just been hired. His first experience with you shouldn’t be in bed-

You heard the lock click and turned around to see Soonyoung standing in your doorway. He was breathing hard and practically dripping with sweat. All doubts about crossing the line vanished when you looked into his eyes and saw how dark they were. He hadn’t even said anything, yet you knew how much he wanted you.

Even more evident was the outline of his hard cock straining against the fabric of his sweat shorts. You tried not to stare, but you figured it was only fair, given how he was staring at you.

Soonyoung let the door shut behind him before approaching you. His hands trembled as he brought them up to your shoulders, like he was unsure of where to start. He slipped his thumbs under the hem of your robe finally and you shivered at the contact. You bit your lip and nodded at him to keep going.

He pulled the fabric down off your shoulders and let the robe pool at your feet. You looked down at it and then back up at him expectantly. He took the cue to follow and yanked his shirt off over his head, followed by his shorts so that he was in his underwear.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked. His voice sounded an octave lower than it had been over the phone and it made your knees weak.

“Please,” you choked out.

He placed one hand on your cheek and tilted your head to the side, pressing his lips to yours. It was needy and desperate, strung with promises of what was to follow. His peppermint chapstick made your lips tingle and you leaned in, deepening the kiss. His fingers dug into your waist as he took control, slipping his tongue into your mouth. You moaned and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him closer.

Soonyoung’s hands made their way down to your ass and squeezed, making you yelp in surprise. He chuckled against your mouth and broke away from the kiss.

“Should we move this to my bedroom?” you asked, breathless.

Soonyoung shook his head. “I want to take you here.”

“Where?”

“Here,” he repeated and nodded toward the windows.

“O-okay,” you agreed, a little unsure on the mechanics of how it would work. But Soonyoung seemed confident, beckoning you over with a wave of his hand.

“C’mere,” he said. “I know you said you wanted my fingers, but I’m dying for a taste of you,” he admitted. “Is that okay?”

You nodded desperately as you watched Soonyoung sink to his knees in front of you. He pushed his hair back with his hand and used the other to hike your leg up over his shoulder. You felt his breath on your clit before anything else, felt the way he was hovering inches in front of your cunt like a goddamn tease.

“Soonyoung, please,” you begged.

You jolted when he suddenly buried his face in between your thighs, letting out a strangled moan as his tongue circled your clit. It was all too much and you had to pull on his hair to maintain your balance. Soonyoung didn’t seem to mind too much, in fact it only spurred him on as he moved even further down and began to tongue fuck you.

His nose bumped against your clit as he worked his tongue in and out of you and it was all you could do not to black out from the pleasure. You braced yourself against the window with one hand, trying to hold off the orgasm building in the pit of your stomach.

“Soonyoung, wait,” you cried and tugged him away from your pussy by his hair.

He jutted his lip out in a pout and frowned like he was disappointed he hadn’t gotten to finish you off. His chin was glistening in your arousal and his lips were pink and swollen from sucking on your clit.

“I want you inside of me,” you pleaded. “Please, Soonyoung?”

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and rose from his knees, smirking as he took the advantage of height back.

“Of course, angel,” he said, pulling you closer so that he could kiss you again. You moaned as you tasted yourself on his tongue, ignoring the way he laughed at your neediness. “Turn around for me, love,” he instructed as he pushed his boxers down. “Hands on the window.”

You did as you were told and bent over. Soonyoung’s hand made contact with your ass just once, the harsh smack echoing throughout the room. You cried out, body shaking even when he ran a hand over the mark to soothe it.

He took his time lining himself up with you, wanting to tease you as much as possible before he finally gave you what you wanted. You tried pushing yourself back against him, but he was having none of it and put you back in your place every time.

“I didn’t take you for a brat,” he mused.

“I didn’t take you for a tease,” you bit back through gritted teeth.

“Yes you did.”

“Fine, but I didn’t take you for someone who was all talk and no follow-through.”

That seemed to work because Soonyoung pushed himself inside you as soon as the sentence left your mouth. You lurched forward, hands on the window slipping as you cursed him out.

“What were you saying?” he taunted, running a hand down your exposed back.

“N-nothing!”

“That’s what I thought.”

He gave you a few moments to adjust to his size, but you were too impatient to wait and began fucking yourself on his cock, desperate for the release that had built up when he was going down on you. Soonyoung brought his hand down against your ass again and stilled your hips.

“Did I say you could move?” he demanded. “Answer me.”

“No!”

“Then why did you?”

“I’m sorry!” you cried.

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Your cock-” you choked out, “felt so good. I couldn’t help myself. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, darling. You’re going to be a good girl for me now, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir.”

He seemed satisfied with your answer and thrust into you once, then again, slowly building up to a steady rhythm.

For a moment or two all that could be heard was the slapping of skin and your shaky gasps. Soonyoung’s cock was bigger than you expected, and each time he hit your g-spot you couldn’t help but let your eyes roll to the back of your head in pleasure.

You weren’t even trying to hold back your moans at this point, too fucked out to care. Soonyoung let a hand wrap around the front of your body and travel up to your throat. He rubbed his thumb along your jaw, pressing it against your lips for you to suck on.

You took it into your mouth eagerly, letting him push it further and further until you were practically gagging on it. When he was satisfied with your work he took his finger out of your mouth and wrapped the same hand around your throat, squeezing lightly.

“Fuck,” you whined.

“Are you close?” Soonyoung asked, likely because he was also teetering on the edge.

“Yes, so close.”

“Do you think you deserve to cum?” he pressed, tightening his grip on your neck. “Think anyone watching you get fucked like a slut against the window deserves to see you cum?”

“No one can see me,” you insisted. “It was only you.”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t,” you admitted, feeling like the invisible string inside of you would snap at any second.

“You could have a whole audience and not even know it, y/n. What do you think, should we give them a show?”

All you could do was nod as he continued to pound into you from behind, not trusting yourself to speak.

“Soonyoung, please let me cum I can’t hold it-” you gasped as you tipped over the edge before he could respond, clenching around his cock harder than you knew you were capable of. It felt as if you were falling from the window of your apartment, hurtling toward the ground some fifty stories below.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum,” Soonyoung muttered, his hips faltering.

“Cum inside me, please cum inside me,” you begged. “I’m on the pill you can cum inside me.”

He came with a groan of your name, pumping his cum further into you with every thrust. “So fucking tight,” he sighed as he continued to lazily rock his hips into yours. “Is your poor cunt so sensitive now?” he asked, voice dripping with fake sympathy.

“Yes,” you answered quietly, feeling tears prick in the corners of your eyes at the overstimulation.

Soonyoung pulled out of you finally, making you whimper at the empty feeling. He chuckled and helped you stand up straight, ready to catch you if your legs gave out.

“That’s what you get for cumming without permission,” he said.

“You’re an asshole,” you mumbled, eyes only half open. “I’m your boss. You should let me cum whenever I want.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Soonyoung assured you.

You watched as he picked up his clothes from around your living room and wondered if you had just ruined everything. Once he was dressed he made his way back over to you and kissed you chastely on the lips. The kiss didn’t help you relax at all. It only confused your feelings for him even more.

“See you monday?” you asked hopefully. If nothing else, you hoped he would still accept the position for the sake of your team, even if things between you were awkward and he never wanted to sleep with you again-

“See you monday,” he repeated in confirmation. “And next round’s at my place.”

lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

forever tags: @hotgirlmingyu @hotgirlvernon @myunghoehoehoe

send me an ask to be added to my taglist

#high-rise #soonyoung x reader #soonyoung smut #hoshi x reader #hoshi smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #seventeen x reader #svt x reader

1K notes · View notes

kyberphilosopher · 3 years

Text

Smile

Word Count: 3467 Requested: yes. Based off ‘505′ Warnings: strong hints to sexual disposition. Spoilers if you squint.

“I’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck... I did last time I checked.” -Arctic Monkeys, ‘505′.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

With hoarse breath and unwavering eyes, you look up to the stars as you speak. “So, you’re really going to do it then?”

“I have to,” you hear him say. His voice has gotten far more mature and calm since the first time you’d heard him speak. Still angry and determined, but in an intelligent, adult way. Eren is a more capable person now. The only thing left to do is wait and see if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing.

“What do you think are the chances of winning?” you question. A shooting star whizzes across the sky at that very moment, and it’s gone before you can think of a wish.

You turn around to face him, but his eyes are already on you. Once upon a time, Eren’s eyes were emerald and teal and deep. Now they’re paler. They are cold and steady as a byproduct of who he’s become. It’s hard not to wonder what he’s thinking about when he looks at you like this, especially since he’s become harder to read over the years.

At first, Eren was one of the most insufferable people you’d ever met. He acted out so often, it was hard to see him as another person of intelligent life. You mostly just minded your business through your cadet years, usually hanging around Reiner, who was also difficult to see as intelligent life. Sometimes you and Eren would argue, but it was never passionate. You just had different world views.

Things got better when you found out what Eren really was. Since you hadn’t made top ten, you could only choose between the Garrison Regiment, or the Scout Regiment. And with Eren’s newly discovered power showing the promise of hope, you decided on the Scouts. He liked that.

After that, it was hard not to mature at the same time as he. Eren often blamed himself for the death and carnage that surrounded the regiment. You were solely responsible for the passing of your best friend. And after everything that happened with the government, almost dying at Shiganshina- you knew you couldn’t stand this much longer. With your relationship with Eren still budding in its early and steamy stages, he was the only one you told of your desertion. You abandoned the corps, finding a small, abandoned farm within wall Maria to hide out in.

Eren was too tired and sick of everything to think you were being cowardly. He wanted to leave too. Maybe come with you. But Eren had plans in the works that he couldn’t leave alone. He visited you less and less. Luckily you never made a fuss.

And now Eren wants to end the world, to save the world. How does he expect you to react to this?

“I just thought I should see you,” Eren replies. You know he’s deflecting your question. You’re not stupid.

You nod slowly, blinking as you think. “Am I going to die?”

Your companion crosses his arms calmly. “Yes,” he tells you.

There it is.

“You know I can’t support you in this, right?” you tell Eren, equally as calm.

He only replies after a moment, also in deep thought. “I know.”

You look back up to the sky, sighing out through your nose. “Why did you come, Eren? Did you want me to tell you that I think you’re doing the right thing? Or was it because you need to let out some anger? I wonder.”

“I did want to see you.”

“Do you still?”

Silence.

“Yes.”

“And I suppose there’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

“No.”

The stars are glittering with pastel hues, like a rainbow, or kaleidoscope. Each one is a different size, bordering on different shapes, all fusing and melting together like your idea of heaven. You can barely even see the midnight color of the sky through all them. It is beautiful, but it’s also bitter. Everything is bitter, here.

“I didn’t make myself any dinner yet,” you say. “Couldn’t think of anything.”

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

When she was alive, Eren’s mother would make a soup for the family. It was creamy, hot, filled with meat and cheese at the bottom. Eren never liked soup, but he did love that dish. She was always sure to make extra for him, so that he could enjoy it for several days. And although it wasn’t until after she was gone that Eren realized he rarely ever thanked her for it, it was still one of the warmest memories Eren had.

He fills your wooden bowl with it, being awfully generous. He knows that even though you haven’t eaten much in the last few years, you too had grown fond of the soup. He knows no matter how slowly you force it down, you are enjoying it. It burns the roof of your mouth every time, but you’ve never cared. All that matters is the creamy sauce, and the cow cooked to perfection.

You stare at the fireplace beside you, flames cackling and licking upward. Eren sets the bowl in front of you, and takes the seat on the other side. You know he sets his long hair behind his shoulders. You’re already prepared. From your pocket, you produce a stretchy brown hair tie on the verge of snapping, handing it to him.

“Thanks,” he says, even though this routine has happened however many times he’s seen you.

“You’re welcome.”

The soup is as amazing as usual. You’re willing to bet Eren makes it even better than his mother did, but you dare not say it aloud. It’s creamy, perfectly seasoned. It goes down your throat, still steaming.

“Does Mikasa know about this?” you question, taking one more delicious bite.

“No. None of them do,” Eren answers. “Armin will figure it out soon.”

“You want me to kill ‘em?”

Eren shakes his head. To a lot of people, this would be taken as a joke. But this is nowhere near it. Your tone is too casual, too low for it to be humor of any kind. And the way the man across from you reacts- he’s thinking the same thing.

“No.”

“How are they, then?”

Eren thinks as he takes another bite, the warmth creeping up his chest sweetly. “They’re alright for now. I don’t know for how much longer. I can’t see everything.”

“Can you see who’s next?”

He squints at his bowl as if he were angry, but his eyebrows barely move. “Sasha.”

Sasha. She was always a good presence to have around. While she seemed like the type of person who would annoy you, it was hard to hate her. And you admired her keen intuition anyway.

“Will you give her something for me?”

Eren nods. Then you both go back to eating for a few seconds, basking in the orange glow from the flames.

“How are things here?” he questions after a minute.

“The same,” you tell him. “I think the cow might die soon.”

Some people might reply with condolences, or sympathy. But your lover does not, and you do not expect him to. “I’ll get you a new one,” he says flatly, almost like a promise. You nod once.

Despite the atmosphere which can only be described as bitter, you’re glad to see Eren again. You’re glad that he’s alive, and as alright as he can be. The bed is always colder without him, heated up only by your lingering fingers that you pretend are his every other night. Whenever he leaves an article of clothing behind, usually on purpose, you hold off on washing it so it can smell like him for you as long as possible. Then there are the hair ties you keep either in your pocket or on your wrist, specifically for him. The razors in your cabinet he often didn’t even bother using.

Even with the sullen demeanor that had managed to overtake both of you, there was at least one thing you cared about in the world still. Maybe it wasn’t the most conventional kind of caring, or the healthiest coping mechanism. But it was still caring. And all that you cared about was him.

You knew you weren’t Eren’s first priority. You were probably second, or third. It didn’t bother you. Eren’s head was one of the first things lost when the truth was presented to him. It came back coldly and sternly, in contrast to how previously hot and impatient it had been. But by then your head had also grown colder and sterner. In simpler terms, Eren did care for you. He did love you. But he would consider letting you die if it meant achieving what he set out to do, and you knew this.

Across the table, Eren lifts his head to look up at you as he chews slowly. The burning meal slides down his throat easily, albeit painfully. It doesn’t even register with him, his piercing eyes slowly gaining a glint from the fire light.

You meet his eyes after a few seconds, feeling them on you. You don’t say a word, don’t even give a questioning look. You just hold him patiently, which is something the two of you find yourself doing often.

“You can’t stop it,” Eren speaks, looking you dead in the eyes with a steady gaze. There is love behind his eyes, far behind the anger, but you can tell from the tone of voice he is trying to tell you something as if it were an order. Your lips part slightly from the intensity radiating from your lover, who doesn’t move a muscle. “You’ll be free soon.”

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Dinner ends. Eren helps clean up the dishes for you and goes to get water from your well so you can clean easier. You already know from the way his thumb brushed against your own when you took the bowls that you’ll likely be bent over the sink in a few minutes, which you don’t mind, but you wonder if he’ll be willing to be softer than usual as an apology for what he’d said earlier.

He’d meant to scare you. You’re intelligent enough to figure that out. Even though you don’t scare easy, and you didn’t even give an extreme reaction, the look in Eren’s eyes had made your heart drop to your stomach. Sometimes you forget that Eren sees everything. Then he says something like that to remind you in the most memorable way.

The wooden door opens and closes behind you. Boots scuff the ground for a few seconds, drawing closer and closer as something in you sparks with anticipation, as it always does. A pail of water hits the surface beside you, partially sloshing over the sides, shining silver in the moonlight from the tall window in front of you. Finally, ultra hot hands slide around your waist and push gently but tightly against where your ribs diverge.

A jaw leans down on your right shoulder, chin poking against your collarbone. Locks of hair brush against your own, just as the hand on the left runs across your side to finally put a small band in your pocket.

“I did miss you,” Eren’s low voice seemingly growls, his chest rumbling softly against your back.

“I was thinking about you,” you admit with monotone, knowing your lover can read through it like as easily as a knife slices through skin.

“I hope I didn’t worry you,” he says, though you can also read through his own tone. He probably didn’t care about worrying you. He definitely doesn’t still.

“You didn’t.”

You place a both bowls in the sink, running your fingers over the dirty spoons. Eren’s orbs follow your movement. You can feel his chin change positions ever so slightly in the coming seconds.

“Can you pass me the rag?” you ask, eyes focused on a piece of food on the spoon that doesn’t even exist.

In response, Eren doesn’t pass you anything. Only his right hand gives you any kind of acknowledgement, passing from on your ribs to down lower. His fingertips skin over the erogenous zone under the waistband of your undergarments.

“I worried about you,” Eren murmurs boldly. The hot fingertips pass under the cloth finally, pricks of stubble on his jaw scratching your neck and shoulder as he shifts. “I wanted you to be okay.” His left hand raises to grasp the breast above it. Slowly at first, then firmly, like a warning. Everything is a warning with him.

Your head lulls back uncontrollably. The back of your hair matts up as it rolls against his own shoulder.

“I said you worried me,” your partner grumbles. “Did you hear me?”

“No,” you lie lowly, refusing to let your voice shake despite the shiver in your throat.

“Mm,” Eren hums in condescending understanding. A force presses against your core, which has turned burning hot and ice cold at the same time. The force pulls away, a string of something smooth and slimy following it that makes a sound draw from your lips. It’s high pitched, weak, and unstoppable. You’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so associated with Eren.

His hand gives your breast a firm squeeze, soreness blossoming from the center. Your back arches quickly and returns lax against him, though now something pokes against your bottom that makes your eyes pop open with a new alertness. Eren’s hand gives you no time again. From your chest, it flies to your throat, holding it back with soft strictness as the other finally dips into the hot pool between your hips.

“I worried about you.”

A strangled groan releases from between your lips again, this time fully carried up through the air. To Eren, it must sound like nothing more than music, or background noise.

Thick cylinders pump inside you to the knuckle. They feel better than your own. They always have.

It feels good. Full. Tight and fast and like the inside of you is quivering under the weight of something that you can’t see or hear. Eren is like a blanket supporting you from falling over, keeping you upright with his grip and his fingers buried inside of you. Prodding every angle, every spot. Not necessarily romantically, but still lovingly. He has always had this goal during intimacy. Nothing matters but communicating to you just how close he wants to be.

“Eren,” you choke, a dribble of spit sliding from the corner of your lips.

“Again,” he hisses in response. His fingers hit a tight spot, making every muscle in your body clench at the same time.

You don’t say another word, your mouth hanging partially open as you focus on everything around you. And it’s all Eren Jaeger. His smell, his growls, his voice, his breathing, his chest, his muscles, his hair, his anger, his bitterness, his intelligence, his determination. It’s overwhelming. It reminds you of getting swept in one of those waves at the ocean he described to you. He’s yours. No- more likely, you’re his. End of story.

“I said again.”

“Eren,” you moan.

His head nuzzles into your neck comfortingly, his fingers pushing faster and harder. You can feel how warm you are, never mind how slick. And the way your own body holds around his digits every time he pulls away is enough to make you all the more warm and slick.

But then...

What is he doing?

He had said “you’ll be free soon”. And yet, here he is, gripping you tightly as he forces you into the corner of submitting. And yes, it is hot. It arouses you as it always has. But something about it makes your stomach turn into a knot of unpleasantness, in contrast to the other one of liquid pleasure.

“Eren,” you strain, squirming against him.

Eren speeds up again. A grunt falls from his own mouth from his own power, and you know he’s getting off almost as much as you are. It doesn’t stop feeling good. Feeling euphoric.

It’s getting rougher. Rougher and harder and faster, more intense.

“Eren.”

Another gruff moan from him.

“Eren! Stop! Stop!”

Eren’s palm softens away at once. It lifts away, his eyes opening and his hand stilling inside of you. He watches you shake as you gaze up to the ceiling, wide eyed. Your thighs sputter, entire body twitching. You didn’t cum.

His eyes trail over you. You’ve worked up a steady sweat glistening and glowing, shivering and shaking and quaking because of him in the best way. You’re his. His partner, his friend, his ally he knows for a fact he can rely on.

“C-can we... Eren...”

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Drips of water dribbling down Eren’s temple. One of your hands are threaded in his brunette locks, holding them back so you can have an uninterrupted view. The other hand is dabbing cloth against his forehead and hairline, bathing him softly.

He’d gone a while without bathing again. You could tell. Eren’s eyes are glued to yours, deep teal memorizing all the flecks in your own as if he hadn’t a million times over.

Eren loves you. Dearly. He’d travel all seven hours and forty five minutes just to tell you that. He doesn’t know what made you stop earlier. He doesn’t ask. But he’s not mad. Overall, Eren understands that it doesn’t matter what you asked to stop for. You give the word, he obeys. Not because he has to, but because he loves you.

Still, he knows something is wrong. You don’t show it. You’re steady, calm, mature, apathetic as always. But in the pit of Eren’s stomach, something brews. A warm, strange feeling of intuition and omniscience.

“You look very pretty today,” Eren ventures, wondering only of your response. “Did I tell you that?”

Your eyes squint. “Thank you,” you reply back.

The cloth continues to rub against his skin, cleaning something that probably doesn’t even exist. Dirt, maybe. Eren’s stopped taking care of his skin in the past few years.

“You’re welcome.”

Your eyes squint again. This time, they gloss over with sharp wetness like glass. The eyebrows crease like a break, your bottom lip trembling as you suck it between your teeth.

He doesn’t know what he was expecting. But your lover wasn’t expecting this.

Eren hates when you cry. He can remember the first time he’d seen it, but not the most recent. You didn’t cry often- you were strong. Crying over something as useless and flimsy as emotions didn’t seem worth it. So what was this for? What were you about to make Eren break down inside over?

Your hand falls limply from his forehead. Shoulders hunch over in defeat, staring down at the floor as your hair covers over your face. And then the sniffles come, choked out coughs like sobs.

Eren can see the lightest of bruises he’d left on you from earlier, but you’d never had a problem with it before. No, it was something else. But what?

Silent, your teeth grit together as you wince, tears streaming down your face inexplicably.

“Earlier w-when you,” you gulp, snot beginning to form, “when you- I did worry a-about you. I- I don’t know why I didn’t...”

You stumble forward. Eren stands from your bath tub to catch you as you slump against him tiredly.

“I hate it when you go.”

Eren switches positions with you, pushing you down to sit on the edge of the tub. He takes the wet rag from your hand and holds your shoulder back so he can have a good look at you. Then the cloth dabs against your own forehead, just as you had done to him.

“I hate it here,” you sigh, a single tear drop blurring your vision as it falls finally.

Your lover moves the cloth from your head to your cheeks, smearing the wetness into your skin and away. They moisten and dry, your eyes red and shiny. Eren tilts your head up under your jaw, creasing his brows and using the towel to clean closer to your eyes.

“If it helps,” he says, looking straight into your eyes, “you’re crying, but I still think you look pretty.”

You’d be lying if you said that didn’t help even a little, because you love him.

A soft smile creeps to your lips, your hands dropping in between your thighs.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

No I didn’t reread this lmfao enjoy. Hope I did you justice anon

4K notes · View notes

hotch-stufff · 3 years

Text

Meet the Parents

Gif is not mine

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x f!Reader

Warnings!: angsty, mentions of neglect, bad parenting, fighting, arguing, lots of yelling, parents saying degrading things towards reader, but happy ending between reader and hotch obviously

Description: Hotch meets your parents that have never approved of you or anything you do, how will he react when they begin picking apart your life?

A/N: not rlly sure if i love this one, but I hope you guys do. Probably a bunch of spelling errors, just warning you.

------------

It was a bad idea.

Of course it was a bad idea.

You really didn't know why you had to go through with this.

You never wanted to have to introduce him to your parents. You had hoped this day wouldn't come. They were... not the best parents in the world, to say the least.

But you were engaged, getting married in only a few months, and your parents had of course heard of your engagement from your older sister. She had accidently let it slip on her last visit.

And now you had to introduce him. And God you were terrified. They had belittled and picked apart each and every aspect of your life.

It wasn't really your father, more so your mother. But he had never stopped her and joined in occasionally.

They had always hated your decisions. You had joined the marines straight out of highschool, and went to the FBI academy after 4 years of service. You had then quickly made your way to the FBI's behavior analysist unit, and that was where you had met your now fiance, Aaron Hotchner.

And of course your mother disapproved. She had always wanted you to go the traditional route. Be a stay at home mom, married with kids by the time you were 20.

You were now 28 and just getting engaged, so of course your mother was going to have some complaints.

But you had never expected how the night actually had turned out.

You had been wringing your hands the entire way there. Aaron had been worried about you for the entirety of the trip. Constantly sending you glances, taking your hand in his own and squeezing reassuringly.

"It will be alright, love." He would tell you. You would simply glance at him shaking your head.

He didn't know how wrong he was.

Soon enough you pulled up into the driveway of your childhood home. Your heart beat widely as you stepped out of the car, meeting Aaron on the other side.

"I'm sorry." He shot you a confused look.

"For what?" he had asked.

"Just apologizing in advance." And with that you rang the doorbell. You heard footsteps and the door was yanked open. Your mothers shrill voice rang through the air.

"Honey! They're here." She sent a smile Aaron's way, and glanced at you dissaprovingly. "Darling. What on earth are you wearing?" You looked down at your simple dress and rolled your eyes.

"Good to see you too mom." She shook her head.

"Of course of course. Good to see you as well. And you must be Aaron? We have heard nothing about you." You scoffed, quickly covering it with a cough, as Aaron responded.

"Yes, Aaron Hotchner ma'am. Its wonderful to meet you."he stuck out his hand for her to shake, but she just turned around and strutted away.

"Do come in, we wouldn't want dinner to get cold. You're already 20 minutes late." She scolded as she walked through the kitchen door.

"Mom, we are 5 minutes early." You stated simply. She laughed like you had said the most absurd thing in the world. You just rolled your eyes.

Aaron shot you a glance and you smiled softly at him.

You gathered around your table, hoping for a somewhat pleasant meal. You father walked in glancing at Aaron before doing a double take.

"Ah you must be Aaron." Your father held out his hand hesitantly. Hotch shook it respectfully introducing himself.

"Yes sir, Aaron Hotchner." He nodded politely.

You all sat around the table and began eating in silence. Small talk here and there but mostly silence, until your mother finally spoke up.

"So, you two met at work?"she asked, disdain present in her voice.

"Uh, yes we did. We work together at the BAU." You replied, catching your mothers eye roll but electing to ignore it.

"Yes, I'm the unit chief, and Y/n is one of our best agents." You couldn't stop him before he made his mistake. And you saw the realization flashed in your father's eyes.

"Unit chief? Like the boss?" He asked.

"Shit." You muttered under your breath. "Yes dad, like the boss." You said a bit louder.

"You're dating your boss!" Your mother exclaimed.

"Mom, its not that big of a deal, he isn't my direct boss, another agent is." You tried explaining.

"Ugh, this government talk us just too much at the dinner table." She sighs dramatically and you shut up, not wanted to start a fight so early in the night.

You all continued eating until your dad spoke again.

"So Aaron you must be significantly older than Y/n." Your father continued. Aaron nearly choked on his drink.

"Um, there is a small age difference yes. But we have never let it bother us." God this was painful.

"No but, why on earth would you bother with a young, disappointment like Y/n? I mean she's obviously gained some weight. She had a dishonorable job for a woman. She doesn't have a family, and jmis just now getting into a serious relationship. I mean seriously Aaron, you could do so much better than, her." You could not believe the audacity of this woman. Your mother effectively silenced the entire table. You felt tears gather in your eyes. As you tried to stop them from falling down your face, Aaron set his wine down calmly and stood up.

"Your daughter is very far from a disapointment." He stated matter of factly. "She is by far one of the Best people that I know. She is the love of my life. She is one of THE most prestigious agents in the FBI, and is apart of one of the best teams in the country. She is the most amazing partner in the world, and had become my favorite person. I dont know how you consider yourselves decent human beings when you can sit here and degrade your own daughter like this. And I feel sorry that you can't see how amazing she truly is." He was nearly breathless when he finished. You stood up beside him.

"Aaron's, right. You guys are the most indecent human bei-"

Anger had flashed in your fathers eyes as he stood angrily, slamming his hands on the table, effectively interrupting you.

"How dare you come into our house and speak such words towards us!?" He yelled at Aaron and you with a furociousness you hadn't seen since you joined the marines.

"Sit down and shut up!" Aaron yelled right back, furious that your father had just interrupted you.

You decided it was time to step in and leave.

"Me and my fiance will be leaving now. I hope you have wonderful lives. And the next time I hear from you it better be an apology otherwise you will never be meeting your grandchildren. And my my wouldn't that just be very indecent." You finished in a mocking tone, spinning around and walking away, Aaron hot on your heals.

You somehow held off your tears till you reached the car and pulled into your driveway and then you completely broke down.

Aaron held you the best he could over the console, trying his best to make you feel better

"Sshhh, sweetheart, its okay." He whispered into your hair. "That was so brave. I'm so proud of you." You smiled slowly pulling away from him.

"Thank you Aaron, for everything you said in there. I never would have had the courage to say anything to them if it wasn't for you. So thank you." He was about to protest, but you shut him up quickly by pressing your lips to his in a passionate kiss.

"I love you." He mumbled against your lips.

You just kissed him harder, getting your message across loud and clear. You pulled away, wiping away your tears.

"I think they liked you." You mumbled a few seconds later, causing him to burst into laughter.

"Especially when I told your dad to shut up." You giggled at his statement.

"Especially then." You continued laughing as you leaned in kissing him again.

Never had you been happier for having a man like Aaron Hotchner.

------------

Check out my Blurb Weekend!! Only accepting blurb requests for the weekend, but regular requests will be open afterwards.

Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

#aaron hotchner x reader #imagine #angst #fluff #reader insert #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #sit down and shut up #hotch being hotch

1K notes · View notes

i-cant-sing · 3 years

Text

An Accident

Yeah... you may have seen this before, earlier this week when I accidentally posted it. Anyways, this is a part 2 of the Todoroki clan being obsessed with reader's hair. So, um enjoy.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Todoroki Clan:

Rei is obsessed with reader’s hair.

She’s taken such good care of it, and after years of hard work, your hair now reaches just around your butt. Your hair is healthy, thick, luscious, and cut into a smooth, U shape; of course all trims are done by Rei herself because she doesn't even trust professionals. And even though you’ve asked Rei on multiple occasions to cut it short, at least up to the middle of your back, she just wouldn’t, always saying that you’re being unreasonable. But you’re not; you’ve given her multiple valid reasons.

For example, Rei and Fuyumi do your hair themselves. And initially, they would let you choose whatever hairstyle you wanted, but now they pick one for you, saying they know which one will suit your outfit of the day better. Rei likes to do double buns, or ponytails tied with ribbons or just one high pony with a pretty big bow on the top of your head. Fuyumi on the other hand makes super intricate hairstyles, and while they look pretty, only you know how much pain your scalp is in. Fuyumi does your hair as if you’re her doll, yanking and twisting hard, saying that she needs to be this rough to achieve the distinctive braid patterns. Thankfully, Rei usually does your hair most of the time.

One of the main reasons you've begged Rei to let you cut your hair short is how much time she (and you) would safe. Since your hair is so long, it takes a lot of time for Rei to put in hair masks, serums, oils, etc. It takes even longer to wash and dry them out, and then style them as well. But she smiled oh so kindly, and told you that she doesn't mind. She looks forward to taking care of your hair, forcing you to sit between her legs for hours as she applies some expensive magic growth oil, ignoring how you didn't like this.

And even if your hair is curly naturally, like even 4C curly hair, Rei will have it straight as a stick in no time (don't bother telling her that you like it natural). But don't worry, its still quite voluminous.

Of course, Rei washes your hair herself, telling you that you’re simply not capable enough to manage it. (At least she lets you wash your body yourself.) And due to your hair being so long, it takes time to not only wash it, but also dry it. Rei will detangle using a wide tooth comb, starting from the bottom and working her way up. Then she’ll dry it with her cold breath, and if required, call Enji to dry your hair with his heat. You like it when Enji dries your hair, because he does it quickly and your hair becomes far smoother.

And its not just Rei and Fuyumi that are obsessed with your hair, the boys are just as fond of it as well. Enji likes to card his fingers through your hair while he’s working on some papers or listening to news, his warm hands always putting you to sleep in his lap. Its an adorable sight, gives him a sense of peace.

Shotou also likes to run his hands through your long hair, especially after a stressful day. The feeling of his fingers through your smooth, long locks, it calms him. And if he’s feeling extra stressed, then he might braid your hair loosely as well. He always wears a scrunchie on his wrist for you.

You wouldn't ever admit it, but you enjoy it when Natsuo played with your hair. Its like he can sense when you're having a headache. He'll have you sit on the floor while he takes a seat on your bed, and then his fingers will do their magic. He knows exactly where to put pressure on your scalp, and exactly how much force to use. His massages always relieve your migraines, and he always massages with expertise to ensure their is proper blood flow in your scalp.

While you are more than happy to let Natsuo touch your hair, you hate it when Dabi's around. If you didn't know better, you'd think he wants to rip your scalp off. He knows how much it annoys you, always pulling at your ponytails, tugging at your braids, even yanking it a few times when you ignore him. And you've complained to your family, but all of them say that "oh he's just playing around." Or "no, he just misses you. He's only teasing." And when you ask Dabi to stop it, he'll just smile and say "big brother privileges."

He's insufferable.

Everyone gets to play with your hair, but God forbid if you do. Oh no, apparently you'd "destroy it", as if you're not capable of managing your own hair. You're not allowed to open your ponytails because, quoting Rei, "you're yanking your hair. You're going to rip your follicles- baby, stop. Just let me do it." But you know that she does that because she wants to brush your hair with the soft, bristle brush before you go to bed. And somedays, Rei doesn't tie your hair in a bun or something, letting your hair fall, and it gets in your way, and even then you're still not allowed to put it up because "oh honey, your hair needs to breathe too. If you keep it in a pony, the band will leave a mark in it." Honestly, everyone finds it adorable when you're dressed in your little, fluffy skirt paired with a cozy oversized sweater, all mad and pouting, trying to blow the hair strands blocking your field of vision. Like a little baby.

While Rei looks at your hair and sees years of her hards work and patience, all you see is losing control over your own life. And you are. They decide everything for you, from the clothes you wear, the food you eat, and even things you should like and dislike. They choose when you should go out, what you should watch, when its time for bed. They disregard your opinions and feelings, and if you show that you're frustrated, then its means that you're just throwing a "tantrum", and you need to be put to bed like some cranky child. You've told them that they're too overbearing, but they always say that they just love you.

What kind of love is controlling?

They're so lost in their delusions, that they don't even see the deteriorating effects it has on you mentally.

Actually, one person did see them. Dabi.

He saw how much everything was overwhelming you, how you were near tears when they talked over you, made choices for you.

He felt a bit bad for you, just a tad. Mostly, he felt there was another opportunity to mess with you.

When Dabi came to bother you one night, tugging at your hair again, this time a bit harder than usual, he saw you were ready to cry. You didn't even bother saying anything to him anymore, just kept quiet and did your best not to cry. Of course, now he ridiculed you. Called you a little crybaby and used that annoying patronising tone with you. And just as he was about to leave, he said "if your hair bothers you so much, why don't you just cut it, you big baby?"

As if something had finally snapped in you, you let his words echo. Why don't I cut it? What's stopping me?

Was it because you had learned to just give in?

You didn't even realise you had walked to your bathroom until you were holding a pair of scissors. Which surprised you, because you weren't allowed to use scissors unsupervised. It was almost as if a sign from the universe motivating you to do it, and definitely not Dabi who left them on the sink.

Holding the pair of scissors in one hand and a chunk of your hair in the other, you hesitate for a second and wonder what will Rei do. But before you could stop yourself, you cut.

I'll cross that bridge when it comes.

You start low, maybe 2 inches above your hips. It looks okay, but maybe you could cut a little more. And a little more. And a little more. Before you know it, your hair is around shoulder length, in an uneven, chunky bob. Its not perfect, but somehow you feel much better. Like you’ve finally gotten some control back. Wiping your tears away, you ruffle your hair a bit, the cool air on your neck adding to the feeling of freedom. You feel normal, happier, peaceful. Things you haven't felt in years. And all because you had 3 am meltdown.

After you cleaned up the bathroom, you went back to bed, anxious how everyone will react in the morning. Maybe they won't care. You thought. Its only hair. My hair.

Everyone was waiting for you at breakfast the next morning, and to everyone’s surprise, Dabi had joined them as well. Rei was cooking up some eggs, while the kids chatted. Enji was suspicious of the mischievous glint in Dabi’s eyes, and it was filling him with unease. Just as he was about to question him, you walked in.

Everyone went silent.

Then Fuyumi let out an audible gasp, while Dabi chuckled darkly. Natsuo, Shotou and Enji looked at you with their mouths agape.

“Good morning.”you greeted them.

Rei, who was facing away from you, finally turned towards you. “Good mo-”Rei’s breath hitched, eyes blown wide, as the plate of bacon fell from her hands.

Its funny how everyone in the kitchen, including you, had the same thought at that moment.

What the fuck?

Taking a deep breath, you moved to sit in your usual spot between Fuyumi and Rei, but Shotou suddenly pulled you back and pushed you into the seat beside him. He knows his mother is in a better state mentally, but something tells him not to risk it. Fuyumi snapped next, quickly getting up and cleaning the mess on the floor while Enji pulled Rei, who was still staring at you in disbelief, to sit beside him. You remained indifferent to everyone’s stares, quietly eating your food. As soon as you were done, Shotou got up and quickly pulled you out of the room, Dabi following close behind.

They sat in your room as Shotou looked at your hair with worry. “Looking nice, doll.”Dabi chuckled as he plopped down on your bed beside you. “Thanks.” you mumbled. “Y/n how did- why did you- why did you cut your hair?” Shotou asked, still looking at your choppy hair. “Do you not like it?” you asked. “N-no I do. But what will mom say-” “Shotou, its my hair.” you snapped. “Yeah, Shotou.” Dabi mocked. Fuyumi and Natsuo soon joined you guys, worrisome looks on their faces. “Why did you cut it? Oh my god, do you even know how much trouble you’re in?” Fuyumi was freaking out. “Its my hair.” you rolled your eyes. They ignored you. “Okay, okay. Shotou why don't you stick around with Y/n for a couple of days? Fuyumi and dad will try to keep mom away from her.” Before Fuyumi could nod, you stood up. “No.”

Natsuo looked at you confused. “what do you mean “no”?”

“I mean no. I don't need Shotou to babysit me. I can handle myself.” Fuyumi walked towards you, reaching her hands for you but you backed away, “Y/n, sweetie-” You cut her off ,“Stop treating me like a child.”

Shotou spoke this time, “Its for your protection-” “Protection from who? Our mother? Why?”your words dared them to say the truth. To agree that Rei was unstable. They didn't say anything.

A few days had passed by and things were returning to normal. Almost normal. Rei still had this thousand yard stare when she looked at you, but she never said anything. Cutting your hair was the best decision you had made, because not is it only easy to manage, but it also got the family off your back. Rei doesn't wash your hair anymore(although you think she's just not over the shock), Fuyumi doesn't need to do your hair, they dry faster, and all of your brothers (including Dabi) doesn't mess around with them anymore. Enji was the first to adjust to your new cut, he even complimented you one day.

Did you feel guilty because you know how attached Rei was to your hair? A bit, but then realised that you needed this. You need some control over your life, and if this is how they react to your new cut, then maybe you could start taking back reigns over other aspects of your life as well.

You thought that maybe Rei had finally gotten over it a week later, when you were laying in the bathtub, enjoying the hot bath. When you heard her walk in, you were a bit startled. Why was she here- is she finally over it? "Um- hey." She smiled at you. "Why are you here?" She took the bath stool and sat behind the tub. "You know why." She replied and started rolling her sleeves up. Is she here to wash my hair? "Oh, are you here to wash my hair? I don't need help with that anymore now that they're short." Rei smiled again, this one looking forced, before dipping her hand in the tub. "No, silly." And with that, Rei froze the entire the tub in 2 seconds. The ice trapped your limbs, and reached up to your clavicle. The sudden change from hot to cold had you jolt, but you couldn't move due to the frozen ice. "Mom-!" You heard the buzzing sound of a trimmer and then felt Rei entangle her fingers in your hair to yank your head back. "I'm here to complete your haircut." You tried moving your head but her grip on your scalp was unrelenting. She started trimming the right side of your head, moving it slowly as to get every single hair. "Honestly, you should've come to me. I do agree that it'd be a good idea to start again." Tears fell from your eyes, your teeth chattered and you could feel your heart beat slow down as the cold seeped into your bones. "M-mom, I'm col-d. P-please s-stop..." Rei was done with one half of your head. "You know, I read somewhere that your grows thicker if you cut it. I'm sure that after I've shaved your head, your hair will grow even fuller. I've already gotten some new oils and hair masks! Maybe we could do them together." You couldn't hear anything besides the slowing of your own heart beating. Your breath had started to become shallow, you couldn't think about anything except for how painful ice could be. Your lips were turning blue, eyes were getting clouded with black spots, all sensation from your body was losing. Just before you lost consciousness, you heard the bathroom door open and a panicked yell.

You felt warm.

When you came to, your entire body felt warm and weighted, probably due to the heavy blanket spread on you.

Opening your eyes, you found yourself in a dimly lit room. It was...your parents room. Why am I here? You turned your head to look around but your eyes stopped at the large figure sitting on a chair next to your bed.

"Dad?"

The figure's head snapped towards yours. "You're awake." He paused. "How- how are you feeling?" You moved the blanket off you, your body felt dense and ached. "Warm and...sore. What happened? Why am I in your bedroom?" Enji shifted in his seat. "I think its best if you stay here from now on, so that... your mother and I can look after you." Your eyes widened. "What? Why?" You moved to sit up but then a pain shot through your head. "Ah shit." You hissed in pain as you went to massage your temples but your hands halted at the feeling of your hair... or lack there of. You tried to run a finger through your choppy bob cut, but all you felt was your shaved head. Your eyes met Enji's, looking at him in disbelief as you recalled the events that had led up to this. "Darling-" You jumped off the bed and ran towards the vanity mirror, praying that this is just a nightmare. But as you looked at your reflection, you realised that this was the terrifying reality you were living in.

Tears dripped from your eyes as you took in your appearance. Trimmed- no, shaved pink hair. You couldn't see a single bit of hair above the roots, only a baby pink scalp. She had not only trimmed your hair first but then also proceeded to shave your scalp off. Your head looked like it had peach fuzz.

You couldn't bring yourself to look away, not even when Enji placed a hand on your shoulder. "Y/n-" He didn't even what to say. He was still in shock from what would've happened if Fuyumi hadn't yelled for him when Rei was-

Enji shook his head. Now's not the time. You're here and you're fine. You're fine. Enji pulled you towards him, burying your face in his chest as you cried. "You're fine." He repeated, more to himself than to you. "Why- why would she do this?" Your voice was muffled by his chest but he understood. He understood your pain and it tore him apart that he still wouldn't be able to help you.

Enji honestly didn't know what to tell you. He didn't know what words would bring you comfort. "It... it was an accident." His chest rumbled as he spoke. You pushed yourself away from him as you looked at him perplexed.

"What?" Your eyebrows raised, nostrils flared and blood rushed to your face. You were going to blow up.

"An accident? Is that what you said? Oh okay. Was it an accident when she froze the fucking tub? Did the trimmer accidentally fall from her hands to my head?! Oh and did she accidentally pull the razor over my head?!" Angry tears fell from your eyes but you were far too enraged to care.

Enji opened his mouth to say something but he was cut off by the sound of the bedroom door opening. Turning around you saw her.

Rei was standing there with a tray of food and water. Her face turned to shock before turning to happiness. She set the tray on a nearby table before she rushed towards you, her hands reaching for your face.

"Angel, you're awake-" you pushed her hands away roughly as you backed away from her.

"Dont you dare touch me."

The couple, they had never heard your voice such hostility. It wasn't like you. Rei shook her head as she tried to reach for you again, taking another step in your direction. But you smacked her hands away again. "I said don't touch me!" Your yelling had got your siblings to rush in the room, wanting to see what the commotion was about.

Rei's eyes shifted from you to Enji, looking at him for help, before they returned back to you. She took a deep breath before speaking. "Y/n, darling. What's wrong?" You scoffed at her soft tone that tried to quell the storm of negative emotions bubbling inside you. "What's wrong? What's wrong? I don't know, you tell me, Rei. Why the fuck am I bald?!" Your head was pounding with rage, raw unbridled anger.

When Rei didn't say anything, Fuyumi stepped forward to help her out. "Y/n its-"

"Shut up."

Fuyumi's- everyone's eyes widened. Of everyone, you never even rose your voice at your favourite sibling. But to hear your voice turn so cold towards her, it shocked everyone. "Y-Y/n-" she tried again but you cut her off. "I said shut up. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Rei and she'll answer for herself."

Enji placed a hand on your shoulder, pulling you back slightly. "Have some respect. She's your mother-" You yanked your shoulder away from his grip. "No, she's not!" You inhaled deeply, trying to stabilise your voice. "No, she's not. You're not my dad. I'm not a part of this family. And I'm so sick of playing this game."

Dabi's eyes narrowed. "Stop being an ungrateful brat. You've been given all the luxuries one could only imagine, spoiled to no end-" You laughed. "Did I ask for anything?" "You never had t-" "And all these luxuries that you're talking about, I didn't get them for free. I had to give up a lot. No, wait-" you laughed again, tears blurring your vision. "I didn't give up anything. You all took it. Yeah, all of you snatched everything away from me. My family, my friends, my privacy, my sanity, everything. And you-" you moved towards Rei, pointing a finger at her. "You have been the most greedy one of them all."

Rei's jaw fell open, as she shook her head. "No-" You shook your head.

"Yes! I gave you everything. I let you dress me up in those god awful clothes, feed me whatever you wanted, stick to your side like glue because you don't like it when I was out of your sight for a more than a few minutes. For fucks sake, I didn't even go to college this year because you weren't ready to see me become an adult!" You ran a frustrated hand through your hair. "I played into your sick little fantasy. I let you treat me like a child, talk to me like I'm some helpless baby. I let you touch me even though it disgusted me to no end. I never even complained when you gave me ice burns because I was throwing a tantrum." You looked at the rest of your family, and they were shocked to hear that last bit. You smiled cruelly at them. "Yeah, you didn't know that did you?"

Rei was crying herself by now, as she reached out for you once again but you moved away. "I let you have everything. All I wanted was this little bit of freedom, for my own sanity. But you couldn't stomach that could you?" Your head hung low, your tears hitting the floor.

"Why do you have to be so selfish?"

Your voice held so much pain and defeat. Rei couldn't help but engulf you in her arms, wrapping herself around you tightly before you could even protest. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She cried out. "I- I promise I'll fix this! Yes. I-I've already gotten you some new hair oils! They say that they'll help you grow 6 inches in a month! Oh and Natsuo also brought some stuff for hair growth! Some vitamins and- Natsuo whats that spray called? Minoxy? Mi-minoxidil! Yes! He said that'll help you grow your hair in no time! Doesn't that sound nice? You'll have long hair like before!" Rei pushed back to look at you. You couldn't believe it.

"Are you- are you really that delusional?" Your voice was so soft, almost like you would break any moment now. "Are you so blind to see what you're doing to me?" Your eyes held so much pain and confusion. "Sweetie, don't worry- mommy will take such good care-" You pushed Rei away from you, your anger rolling back in full speed. "YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!" You shrieked. "Y/n-" Shotou tried to interject. "I'm not a part of your fucking family."

Enji stepped towards you. "Calm down."

You looked at him. "You said that what happened was an accident. What will you do if another one happens? And you're not around this time to save me? Hmm? What will you do? Continue playing house with my dead body?!"

Rei's sobs shook her body. "Shut up. Think before you say stupid shit like that." Dabi spoke this time, moving to stand between you and his mother. "Or what? You're going to hurt me? More the reason why all of you, but especially you-" you pointed at Rei "deserve to be in that nuthouse-!"

You were on the floor before you could even process what had happened. Had you- had you fallen? But when the searing pain of the burn on your cheek came alive and you looked at his hand that had erupted in blue flames, you realised what had happened.

Dabi slapped you.

"Y/n!"

Your cheek felt like someone had placed a hot iron on it, the sting spreading to your entire cheek, but you were far too shocked to care about the pain.

Dabi slapped me.

Shotou, Natsuo and Fuyumi quickly rushed to your side, picking you up and out of the room, while Dabi stood there in stunned as his own hand throbbed. The image of his handprint branded on your scared face wasn't going to leave his mind anytime soon.

Enji hesitated, looking at his wife and son in disbelief, before leaving the room to look for you.

Rei walked towards Dabi and smacked his arm. "What did you do?!" She yelled at him. He opened his mouth to explain but nothing came out.

"She's your little sister, Touya! W-why would you do that?!" Rei scolded him.

He hurt you. Like Enji hurt Rei.

He hurt you.

Rei sighed before closing her eyes and engulfing Dabi in her arms. "Its okay. Its not your fault." She rubbed his back soothingly. "It was an accident, wasn't it?"

Dabi wrapped his arms around his mother, burying his face in her neck, before nodding.

"Yes. It was an accident."

So... how was it?

#yandere bnha #yandere dabi #yandere endeavor #yandere dabi x reader #yandere mha #yandere todoroki family #yandere todoroki clan #yandere enji todoroki #yandere rei todoroki #yandere natsuo todoroki #yandere fuyumi todoroki #yandere touya todoroki #platonic yandere #yandere platonic #platonic enji todoroki #yandere shoto todoroki

1K notes · View notes