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#i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.

kaikama · 8 months

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Today is a confusing day for my gender. I want to (genuinely) thank some people on Tumblr for that, but I don't know how. I know many people consider their blogs as being a sort of public diary, but I've never used mine like that before. I reblog art and memes, and sometimes ramble in the tags, but almost never make posts of my own, and certainly don't talk about anything important when I do.

However sometimes the best way to get ahold of something slippery that's swimming around in your head is to first get it out of your head. I may not even post this, though contrary to how I present myself on this blog, I do very much love talking about myself (especially when I can indulge my inner 12yo-fanfic-author and be a bit dramatic and poetic about it) so we'll see.

However, to the anxiety of making a long, eventually emotional post I will cede the small victory of a readmore:

I guess the place to begin is with the lovely @dduane. In particular with the recent post she reblogged talking about @redgoldsparks's book Gender Queer. I was reading through the comic therein when I remembered that I actually had the book e was talking about sitting on my "to-read" shelf... okay, one of my "to-read" shelves. No avid reader with disposable income should be surprised I have so many such books, nor that any book could get lost in such a pile, no matter how... personally relevant it is.

I picked it up one day, not at my usual book store, but actually at a local comic book/board game store. It caught my eye of course by presenting the words "GENDER QUEER" in big, bold letters, and and further enticed me when I flipped through it briefly and saw it didn't censor itself unnecessarily. In a graphic novel that's largely about gender, it was relieving, for example, to see bodies being addressed without fear that showing them was too obscene.

So I bought it but, as I mentioned, it sat on my shelf for at least months, probably a year or more, if the time dilation typical of the pandemic period can be assumed.

Then today, after seeing that post, I decided to finally take it out. It only took a short while to read, maybe an hour or so. Unless you include the time it will spend lingering in my mind, in which case I may never finish reading it.

I related to it in many ways. In ways that were the same, but upsidedown – since I was amab, but could still feel a connection to the ideas within. Technically a different wavelength, but... a harmonic of the original. But one point in particular is the whole reason for this post. Page 189.

If you don't have the book, well firstly I highly recommend you go get it now and simply read through it to see the page in question. But in case you can't, I'll describe it here:

In panel 1, the author laments about wanting to switch pronouns, but that "they/them" doesn't feel quite right. In panel 2, e asks eir conversational partner what e uses. In panel 3, as you have probably guessed, e tells the author that e uses "e/em/eir" and, important to my story, uses them in a sentence: "Ask em what e wants in eir tea." In panel 4, e reacts with a huge smile and starry eyes.

Here is where I'll pause and mention that reading that passage gave me a shiver down my spine. I love seeing people explore their identities – or in this case, eir identity – and that especially goes for things I could never wrap my head around, such as neopronouns. As much as I respect them, I never could understand. To me, gender has usually been a nuisance. Something that I have to perform. If I don't, people will assume some performance anyways, one which is usually wrong. I wish I could just work backstage. Or maybe it's more like I wish everyone had a program guide, so instead of having to constantly tell people I'm not a man, they can just see the description in the guide for themselves. I'm just so tired of it. So tired.

But! That's why I get shivers like this, since it warms my heart to see people like me, also pushing through. E shouldn't have to struggle to be known. E does. But that strength inspires my own, which I hope inspires others, in a cycle of propping eachother up!

Then in panel 5 e says "I love those pronouns! I just got the biggest tingle down my spine."

And I recall my spine tingle.

And I'm really confused.

Do I want those pronouns? I've been using "they/them" for a while now, and I've known about (and had friends who use) "e/em/eir" for some time now. Surely I would've realized they fit me sooner than this, right?

Then again, I think, I have been kinda growing dissatisfied with "they/them" for a bit now. But I always just felt tired of gender as a whole. I don't want pronouns that even fewer people will understand, I said. At least with "they/them" I can point at the neutral usage everyone uses them for. Anything more obscure would just be all the more effort. All the more tiring.

...but does that make it untrue? Or simply unfair? Everything to do with being queer is unfair, sorta' by definition. If I wanted it to be easy, I could stick to "he/him", but that would only really be "easy" for other people, I realized. Neither "he/him" nor "they/them" are easy for me. Neither "male" nor "female" nor "non-binary" are easy for me. Neither the old gender binary nor the new gender trinary are easy for me. I'm just so tired.

I wish I had an answer to finish with. Not for your sake, but for mine. I have a sort of modus operandi I like to use: "prepare for the worst, but hope for the best, and expect something in-between." It's a bit of a compromise between the phrase"high hopes, low expectations" and my optimism. Well, I forgot to do that here. I had hoped that I would've found my answer by the end of this post, but I forgot to "prepare for the worst," and as such had no middle ground to set my expectations.

Maybe the answer is to stop caring so much? But that seems like it would be a disservice to myself and my wants and needs. Also it seems impossible. Or at least like clinical depression, which shouldn't be anyone's goal.

Maybe I should try using different pronouns? None of my friend would care. But they would make mistakes. It's extremely rare for one of my friends to slip up now, but it does still happen. And using something new would give me those small rock-in-the-shoe, scratchy-shirt-tag irritations that @redgoldsparks mentioned in eir book all over again.

...or maybe "they/them" is dorta' doing that now, and I've just gotten used to it? I remember when I switched I hadn't realized that "he/him" wasn't great until then. Not because I felt bad hearing it, but because I suddenly felt good hearing "they/them." I still think I don't feel especially disphoric over "he/him," but now that I know the euphoria I could have, it feels worse in comparison. Maybe the same would happen if I switched again?

My how many thoughts I have about this. I want an answer. There is no simple answer. Life is work. I love life. I hate work. I'm so tired. But it's worth it.

I think that's most of my metaphorical brain-fish on the topic disgorged for now. If you listened, thanks for listening. If you're confused, imagine how I feel. And if you think you felt like you resonate at some harmonic of this, please go read @redgoldsparks's book Gender Queer. It probably won't have clear answers, and the feelings it evokes probably won't be exclusively positive ones, but if you've read this far into my ramblings, then I can promise you it will be a valuable read.

Thanks for your time! -Kai

#yes I realized I signed off on this like it was a letter or email when tumblr posts are anything but #however when I rant for long enough I feel like it turns into something more formal in my gut which makes me what to do so lol #but ya I had a lot of feelings. and feelings are hard. and tiring. but important #so please do with this what you will #and if by some chance the author or dduane read this – thanks so much to both of you for all you've done for me!#I barely mentioned dduane in this post for lack of immediate relevancy but she's been such a force in my development!#the yw series did wonders for my current fierce optimism and love for life #but the most recent tornado in my brain is reading Gender Queer today so that got the spotlight here #anyways I usually follow my tag rants with tracking tags but I'm not so sure what to put when it isn't fanart #I guess #gender queer #maia kobabe #books #gender #genderqueer #my ramblings #my posts #my feelings #diary entry

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mikodrawnnarratives · 5 months

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*cracks knuckles* @paper-lilypie

WEDDING BELLS YALL

and brainrot. I've been sketching these ideas out for like, a year. And done nothing with them until this point

this has been festering. in my mind.

*note: I didn't get around to drawing it, but I imagine Sun, Moon, and Y/n say their vows at the Bell place thingie that I need to reread in the fic. Y'know, the place Moon climbs up to, to get away from y/n. Yeh they declare their love up there and smoochies*

I should really reread that bit actually lol

Before moving forward, I'm gonna rant about outfits

this is the outfit that I base Sun and Moon's wedding look on because I just think it fits so well. I share this so you guys see the vision and forgive my inexperience with drawing these folds

Cool? cool.

Also, I went through several variations of what Y/n would wear before settling on this bc nothing that came up when I searched "gender neutral wedding gear" really fit

Wanted a mix between gown and suit and y'know this ended up being more suit but I like it a lot so we're going with that. It also came to me in a vision so that has to say something.

(Ok but I did envision Y/n having a dress similar to this one character's dress in Bad Guys but I couldn't draw it so I scrapped it)

(ok some details stayed but most of the concept had to go)

so like- you see it right?

Btw. All of them (including guests) have pockets. just. to ease your mind.

ok back to actually drawn wedding shenanigans

Because, there are many, wedding shenanigans

Y'know the trend of smashing wedding cake into the bride/groom/wedded partner's face right?

There's no way this wouldn't escalate and y/n wouldn't enlist their siblings in the chaos.

They'll get like- one or two good wedding pics before this.

the cake tasted good tho

Let me just say. I am so proud of how I did these hands I'm oogling my own art I did so good GHGHHHHHHFDS

I like??? Want to do more?????

cuties shenanigans below they are obnoxious and they know it

By the way by the way you may notice the flower dress

I WILL be getting around to Lily x DCA STUFF I WILL

Tho I got busy and had a really hard time drawing/finishing sketches when I did have time so. I chose to post what I have so far so it's out before November ends

CONSIDER THIS A PART 1

LILY YOU ARE NOT SAFE

well Ig u are safe

for nowwwww

Bouquet toss real

fun fact I initially wanted to draw Sun, Moon, and Copper y/n tossing the bouquet together

but their arm lengths would NOT make that work kjfdkljsdklj

so y/n tosses the bouquet bc they are the specialest

(Or they won the round of monopoly)

(who's to say)

(we don't talk about game night)

But all three of them are the criminal. masterminds. They planned this from the start. Holly and Chica HAD NO CHANCE after the role they played in getting Y/N AND SUN AND MOON together.

I think this video would also be something cute that I could see happening for their wedding lol

Y/n and the daycare attendants hand the bouquet to Holly and then she gets proposed to by Chica

Anyway I still have a whole list of wedding shenanigans I need to draw

Sarah and Yao being some because when I tried before I couldn't sketch them out to my liking.

And the more CCRT gets expanded on, the more I'm sure will be present in their wedding since there are only 3 chapters out so far and enough art for me to make my guesses dlkkldsf

I'm sure there are plenty of fun things that can be included into this wedding, or edited, once more is revealed of the characters and their relationships

and who would be wedding guests is a little more up in the air, for instance and... who'd be able to show up in the first place considering unknown state of... living

(*cough cough*-Glamrock Foxy-*cough cough*)

...and being on good terms! thats.. important too. y'know moon and foxy weren't really exes but it may still be a bit awkward if he got invited y'know yknow

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house-of-lovin · 1 year

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protect her

Tara Carpenter x Detective!Reader

masterlist

Preview: "Tara wants to go to college, study, party, make mistakes, and maybe even find love – glancing back at you with that thought. She wanted to be a normal 20-year-old, doing 20-year-old things with her older… girlfriend? Tara didn’t know if she could call you that, but you shared enough sweet soft moments with her to consider you, hers. But she couldn’t do that if she had to look over her shoulder at every creak with a startle."

Warnings: suggestive themes, mentions of violence and mature language. slight scream vi spoilers. read at your own risk.

Note: Reader is around Sam's age, so like 25 or 26. Tara being a words of affirmation girlie. Thought this dynamic would be fun to write about. I'm incapable of writing shorter oneshots ig, so enjoy 6k+ words of whatever this is lol.

Word Count: 6.1k+

The honking of horns blowing through the cool night air was muffled when you pushed the glass door of the diner open. The chimes of the overhead bell rang alerting the room of your presence but barely anyone turned their heads – save for Sam Carpenter who smiled at you.

You shuddered away remnants of the chill air off your shoulders, stepping closer to the bartop; claiming your seat in the far corner pressed up against the wall. A mug is placed on the counter before you even finish hanging your jacket on the back of the chair.

You slide into the high-top seat as the brunette pours coffee into the mug with a carafe. “Still hot, wow, I must be special.”

“Yeah okay, hotshot. You just happened to make it in time for a new pot.” She rolls her eyes, and you hide your smirk behind the mug; taking a sip – ignoring the fact that you usually come in at this time.

“You on the clock?” She asks, leaning on her elbows atop the counter. She glances back briefly, making sure her snitch of a coworker wasn’t around to scold her for not doing her job.

It was still too early for the influx of drunk regulars and one-timers to come by, so really the only kinds of people in here were the ones who were getting off work too late to make dinner at home.

“Just got off, 16 hours. But got a new lead on a case that went cold a couple of months ago so I guess I’m doing a double. Just reviewing some notes now.” You sigh heavily, gesturing to the files and folders sprawled out on the table.

She chuckles, shaking her head. “You work too much. You need to take a break and focus on something else outside of work. When was the last time you did something just for you?”

You roll your eyes at her mocking tone, shooting back, “Oh yeah? You learn that from therapy?”

It was her turn to glower when you remind her of the doctor visits.

“Yeah, that’s usually the advice therapists love to give me before I actually open up – you know like they tell me to and suddenly they’re running for the hills, one by one.”

You snort, all too familiar with the tales of her doctor visits. It took a while for Sam to open up to you; trust came sparsely these days for the Carpenter. It wasn’t until one of your frequent visits turned into you having to step in and kick a rowdy group of drunkards who were harassing Sam of something along the lines of ‘Woodsboro’ and ‘Ghostface’. It was only when you threatened the group with jail time did they relent.

Sam knew she could trust you after you sent her an acknowledging nod when the group left and went back to minding your own business. The next time you visited, she opened up; about her past, her father, her hallucinations, the attacks and the trauma that came afterward. And, how she managed to land herself in the big city, which sprouted an overzealous rant about her strained relationship with her sister.

You knew how to read people well, it was a significant part of your job to be able to. So, you knew from the moment you laid eyes on her that there was a fire behind those dark eyes that she desperately tried to douse – you had interrogated and dealt with enough people to know what the glint meant.

You were honest to Sam that you had an inkling of suspicion about the darkness in her mind – you still accepted her despite knowing her dirty secret; that a part of her doesn’t feel bad for killing Richie and Amber, if anything it felt kinda good. Sam was confused as to why you, a cop, weren't locking her behind bars at the confession.

But, having dealt with the scum of the Earth, you can tell she was nothing like them.

It isn’t always easy to differentiate people between just good and bad, you told her when she asked.

A friendship blossomed between you two after that, bonding over similar traumas. Sam invited you to her apartment to meet her friends and sister – who all interrogated you, Mindy, most especially to make sure you weren’t secretly Ghostface. The girl had some skills in that department, you'll admit.

Coming to learn of your career and how surprisingly well Sam trusted you, the group lowered their walls bit by bit. They would never say it out loud but they felt way safer having you around.

“That’s why I don’t go to therapy.” You shrug, taking a sip of the steaming coffee; letting the heat warm your bones.

She snorts, pretending to be wiping the countertop when her coworker peeks her head out to look at you two. “You probably need it more than anyone else in this place.”

“You’re not wrong about that.” You mumble, as you flip through the evidence photos of a homicide you investigated five months ago. The pictures were gruesome, but it was just another day on the job for you. Maybe that’s why you and Sam got along more than expected.

Sam’s phone vibrates from her back pocket and she fishes it out, reading the text.

‘We got into some trouble, some help?’ it was Anika, no doubt being appointed to text Sam because the others didn't want to do it themselves.

“Dammit.” Sam sighs, already taking off her apron to leave.

“What’s up?” You raise a brow at her panicked expression.

“My sister and her friends got into some trouble. I need to get them. Crap! They’re all the way in the East Village.” She says reading the other incoming texts on her phone. “This is what I get for letting her go out.”

“Come on, I’ll drive you.” You say, already standing when Sam mentioned Tara. The thought of the brunette in trouble makes your heart stop for a moment.

“No, I can’t ask you to do that. You’re working.” She shakes her head in protest.

“Carpenter, it’s a 30-minute drive just to get to the East Village, get your ass permission to leave then meet me at my car. Acting like Danny wouldn’t have my ass if I just left you like this.” You mutter, acting indifferent – but it was true, her boyfriend would have your head on a stick if you ever left Sam high and dry, not that you would ever.

She nods, knowing she won’t win this one with you. You throw a $20 tip, slip on your jacket, and make your way back out into the cool fall air.

You lit a cigarette to pass time as you wait for Sam – leaning against your car, trying to ease the nervousness raging in you as you think of what kind of trouble Tara found herself in.

You and Tara are... complicated. You two haven't exactly slapped a label on it, all you know is you care about her more than you probably should.

Because of your close connection with Sam, and how much everyone secretly trusted you. You and Tara found yourselves growing closer to each other with each visit to their apartment.

Tara was weary about you at first introduction, ignoring that you were ridiculously attractive. She can still remember Mindy asking you to your face 'Where did Sam find you?' in a flirtatious tone. You just chuckled and explained how you met her sister, and Tara knew it was kind of wrong, but she couldn't help but be intrigued…

Then Sam started leaving you two alone in the apartment to run some errands. With not much to do, Tara decided to pop a horror movie in to watch with you – finding out you’ve never seen ‘Se7en’ after inquiring if your job was just like the movies.

A connection between you and Tara blossomed from those moments in that tiny NYC living room.

Suddenly she wasn't just your friend's little sister and man, is she magnetic.

She educates you on the joys of horror movies and you watch every single one, listening to her analysis of each scene; simply enjoying the serenity she brings out in you.

Tara is secretly glad you are older than her because sometimes it meant you’re so different, but that just means she can expose you to her interests, and vice versa. You never turned her down – no matter what it was.

On the slim chance you got off work early enough, you visited the diner to keep Sam company and do some work.

Sometimes though, when Sam would end mid-morning, you two would continue your talks at her apartment – sometimes with Danny, over whatever leftover diner food she would steal from her work for you three to munch on over beers and conversation.

Those would be the nights where you would pass out on their couch from drinking and Tara would finally come out of her room when Sam and Danny leave. She would tuck a blanket over your sleeping figure, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, taking the time to scan your features for any injuries. And in the mornings, when you were gathering your bearings from a night of drinks and bad choices, Tara would force you to sit down at their dining table and have breakfast with her. Scolding you for your irresponsible choices, but being grateful you were in front of her, nonetheless.

She worries for you with your job and all.

And as you find yourself giving into her request for morning coffee, stolen kisses, and conversation – you push away thoughts of being late to work as you find yourself grateful for similar musings the longer you stare at the pretty girl across from you.

“Wow, if people couldn’t tell you're a narc. They sure could now.” Sam takes the time to poke fun at you – pulling you out of your daydream. You look down at your figure; sporting a button-down shirt, trousers with your leather jacket on top and trusty leather boots on your feet.

You roll your eyes in realization and flick away the cigarette bud, yanking the car door open.

“It’s the work dress cod– just get in the damn car, Carpenter.”

– –

The usual thirty-minute drive instead took fifteen minutes as you pounded on the accelerator, flipped the sirens on, and dashed past other cars on the road as they cleared the way for you.

You arrive at the corner of a lower Manhattan intersection, the East Village was known for its bustling nightlife; you can see a mix of all ages of people wandering the street as they continue their bar crawl.

It was further down the road, where you can see six sullen-looking figures sitting on the curb of the sidewalk – a police officer standing above them.

Sam dashes out of the car before you can even finish parking. You see her run down the street and talk to the officer, getting in his face and the six others look at her panicked. You sigh, and make your way out of the car, strapping your badge to your belt – you’d need to use it soon, you’re sure.

Tara’s eyes immediately connect to you as soon as you climb out of the car. Before she can think about it, she’s standing up to meet you. “Ah ah, I said sit down! You better listen or I’ll throw you all in jail for the night.”

“You can’t do that!” Sam shouts, stepping closer to the police officer. You decided enough was enough when you saw the police officer resting his hand on his holster.

“All right, that’s enough.” You grasp Sam’s elbow, yanking her away from the police officer. The older Carpenter is slightly startled by the rough tug, but you push her behind you getting in between her and the policeman.

“I think we’re all good here officer, thank you.” You say with finality. You weren’t asking, you were telling and Tara’s inebriated mind is all hot and bothered.

“Like hell we are, these six were caught sneaking into a club underage, and this one.” He points to Sam, “is getting on my nerves. Now, it seems like I can add you to the list, ‘cause who the hell you think you are, buddy?”

You briefly glance a stern side-eye to Tara at ‘club and underage’, she immediately looks away.

“Detective Y/L/N from the 99th precinct.” You slide your jacket aside to flash him the badge on your waist.

”And, you must be… Officer Leroy. From 6th, huh.” Reading his name tag and badge.

“Think that’s supposed to mean something?” You see his eyes on your badge before glowering to meet your eyes. “I’ll arrest you too.”

The group breaks out into loud protests.

You chuckle knowingly, “How long you been in the force buddy?” You ask, not unaware of all of the eyes on you as you and the officer have a stare-off.

“Four months.” He answers confidently, pushing his shoulders up and back to appear taller.

“Hmm… see I had a feeling. ‘Cause, my buddy Rivers just got promoted to Captain six months ago over on the 6th precinct, which means he’s most likely your superior. I wonder what you’ll tell him as to what charge you picked us up for. ‘Cause well, he will see me.” You shrug, offering up that thought for him to think about.

“Oh better yet, I’d just love to see what you write down on that case report, Officer. Leroy.” Your tone was harsh now as you stepped in his face, intimidating him.

He was forced to take a step back as you got in his space, his features paling, it took a few seconds before he conceded. “Fine! Just get the hell out of here, and don’t let me see you again!”

Everyone let out a relieved sigh as you smirked at his submission; everyone immediately takes the chance to leave and Sam tries to tug on your arm but you were still staring the cop down. He put this hand on his fucking gun when Sam got in his face and anger was quickly rising in your veins – you were unmovable, even by rough force.

“Y/N it’s over, let’s go.” Sam tries again but she can feel your arm harden as your knuckles tighten into a fist. “Y/N, seriously.”

Tara sobered up by the time police charges was being thrown around and her worry about your protectiveness was increasing. Sam couldn’t even pull you away. Chad steps in when Sam asks for help to convince you to move. He puts a hand on your shoulder, whispering calming words, no doubt.

But nothing was working as you stood there, still unmovable. She wouldn’t be surprised if Chad threw you over his shoulder and dragged you away, even though you weren’t that much smaller than him. In your boots, you were nearly at his height and Tara had to strain her neck to try and meet your eyes.

It was only when Tara pulled away from Quinn and Mindy’s hold and stepped in front of you, putting a hand just above your chest that you blinked, glancing down at her. “Y/N, let’s go… please.”

When you tried to glance back up at the other officer, whose partner had seen the commotion and tried his own efforts in calming him; his patience thinning by the second – was when Tara’s grasp on your shirt firmed, making you look back at her own stern eyes.

"Let's. Go." Her tone left no room for argument. Warning you from doing something stupid and you clench your jaw, looking away from the uniformed officers.

“Fine…"

Everyone slowly releases a breath when your rigid posture relaxes. “I’m driving you home, let’s go.” You exclaim to the rest but look directly at Tara, “Especially you, Carpenter.”

You place a hand on the sliver of her back and Tara shivers not used to being this close to you in a while. Your hand keeps its place even as you both turn and Sam is immediately on her ass about sneaking into a club. You guide the bickering sisters to walk to the car, zoning out the familiar sounds of their argument.

“–ou’re lucky Y/N was at the diner, who knows what that creep would’ve done if we didn’t drive out here in time.” Your hand tightens, subtly bringing her closer to your side at Sam’s words, Tara glances over when you do.

“It was fine until you got there and started overreacting, Sam.” Tara rolls her eyes, way past just ‘over’ Sam’s overprotectiveness. The younger girl loved her sister, she did, but she didn’t want to live her life constantly looking over her shoulder.

Tara wants to go to college, study, party, make mistakes, and maybe even find love – glancing back at you with that thought. She wanted to be a normal 20-year-old, doing 20-year-old things with her older… girlfriend? Tara didn’t know if she could call you that, but you shared enough sweet soft moments with her to consider you, hers. But she couldn’t do that if she had to look over her shoulder at every creak with a startle.

Sam scoffed offended, “Are you kidding me right now?” And you sigh because you can feel a bigger fight brewing and you can hear the slurring in Tara’s words, not a good mix.

“Let’s get you all home first before we do this, okay?” You cut in when you see the car come closer into view. Fishing for your keys, you throw them at Sam making her catch them.

“Walk ahead and start the car for me, please?” You ask with a raised brow; tilting your head to gesture to Tara saying a wordless ‘i got her’. Sam relents, tightly gripping the keys and walked ahead.

Tara leans her head against your shoulder, grateful for the brief moment of seclusion as everyone else walks up ahead.

“Are you mad at me?” You glance down at her frown, before looking away.

“No. I’m not.”

“That wasn’t very convincing. If you’re mad you can tell me… cause then I can fix it.” You feel her run her hand up and down your back, under your jacket. It made a shiver run up your spine as she continued rubbing lines on the fabric of your shirt.

“I swear, I’m not mad. A little disappointed but no, not mad.”

Tara huffs, sliding her arm off your back when you reach the car; the talk cut short. You open the car door sitting Tara inside, it was a tight squeeze but she was small. You’d sit her on your lap if her sister wasn't here. Anika did sit on Mindy’s lap though with poor Chad in the middle seat and then Tara.

She squeezes your hand just before you shut the door.

Apparently, Ethan and Quinn elected not to go home and continue on with their night.

Sam is already sitting in the passenger seat by the time you closed Tara’s door. With a sigh, you pull your door open, sit behind the wheel and drive off to the Carpenter’s apartment.

– –

Sam hurriedly rushes everyone into the living room as soon she opens the door; making sure to quadruple lock it, twist the handle to make sure it's locked and look out the peephole. It was Sam’s routine whenever she got into their place.

“Come on, let’s go, sit down.” Sam waves at you all, walking to the kitchen to grab water for everyone.

You help Tara onto the far edge of the couch, sitting her beside Mindy, who sat beside Anika. Chad decided to choose a record to listen to get rid of the tense air.

You felt Tara pulling you down with her, “Let me sit on your lap.” She mutters only to you.

“We can’t,” You whisper in her ear, slightly shaking your head. You hear her huff when you refuse her and see the pout on her lips when you pulled back, slightly smiling at her adorableness.

You force yourself to walk away from the younger Carpenter; heart tugging firmly, wanting nothing more than to wrap her in your arms, especially after not knowing what kind of trouble she was in.

Instead, you make your way into the kitchen to help Sam with the water bottles and bread.

“Is this necessary, Sam?” You ask the brunette, who was frantically searching through the fridge on her knees.

“You kidding? Chad is literally just staring holes at the record player.” She rebuttals and you glance back at the younger boy in amusement.

With a chuckle, you say, “He’s just high as shit. He’ll come down soon, plus he’s here now, they all are. Just relax and take a deep breath, man.” You remind her in a serious tone, holding out a hand to hold all the water bottles she was passing off to you.

“I know, I know. I was just worried.” She follows your advice taking calming, deep breaths as you follow along with her.

“Your therapist would be so proud, Samantha.” You tease smugly as she scoffs, hitting your leg from her position on the floor – you kick her back.

“Can you make sure Tara drinks and eats something, and that she’s okay before going to bed?” Sam asks you in a hushed tone, although she didn’t need to. The other four were all too engrossed either in the music or the TV in the back.

“Why me?”

“She’s not ready to talk to me and I’m not either... and I just wanna sleep right now.” She admits with a plead behind her eyes and you nod with no hesitation.

“I'll make sure all of them make it to bed, don’t worry.” She nods appreciatively, then stands so you can both get back to the other four in the living room – tossing them some bread.

“Finish that whole bottle before going to sleep, I don’t care if you piss your pants while you do ‘em.” You say in a stern tone while throwing the bottles, then sitting on the armchair to Tara’s left.

Sam shares a look with you as she slips out of the room, wordlessly, leaving you with the other four. They watched TV for the next 20 minutes, glancing around as each of them got progressively tired the more time ticked on.

“Alright. I think it’s time to call it a night.” You call it.

The twins and Anika slowly got up, muttering goodbyes and promises of texting Tara once they’d made it home. You offered to drive them to their dorm but felt the silent conversation between the friends – as Tara got them to turn you down to get you to stay here with her.

You lean against the front door, watching as the trio made their way down the stairs until they were out of sight. As soon as you shut the door closed, you felt arms wrap around your midsection – making you turn around.

“I missed you,” Tara mutters against your chest making you chuckle when it slightly tickled.

You cup her jaw, making her look into your eyes. “I missed you too, baby.”

Tara melts at the term of endearment, grabbing your neck to pull you down for a long searing kiss. Lips slotted over one another as they found the familiar grooves of each other’s mouths. Only breaking apart when Tara confessed with a bated breath, “You looked so hot confronting that other cop.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm…” She mutters connecting her mouth to your neck, peppering wet kisses there. She can hear you sigh in satisfaction and it makes her hold on you tighten even more. But with great reluctance, you pulled away from Tara; who whimpered in protest.

“We can’t, babe.” You remind her, pointing with your head to Sam’s room.

She frowns, “then come to my room.” Problem solved. She smirked devilishly, tugging you toward her room; you refused.

“We still can’t. You’re drunk and I’m not taking advantage.” You whisper, only stepping close to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She groans letting her head drop to your shoulder as your hand played with her hair.

“I hate that you’re a goodie two shoes.” She mutters making you laugh.

You tilt her head up with the hand already in her hair – gaze intense as you whisper, “I can assure you, I am far from a goodie two shoes.”

And Tara thought she melted at the way your voice dropped an octave when you said that but she knew she melted when you leaned down, tugging her by the hair, to connect your lips.

It was barely a peck, all tender and fleeting.

When you pulled away, she smirked knowingly watching as your eyes traced a path from her lips to her eyes – your gaze all dark, lustful. When your eyes connect you dive into her with a hair-raising kiss; all hungry and pining.

The feeling of your tongue clashing against hers and sounds of soft moans sends time stopping like only you and her exist in this apartment together. But Tara knows it doesn’t really stop and she has to eventually pull away before she takes you in the hallway – right then and there.

“God, you drive me crazy,” Tara whispers against your lips.

“So do you… cause sneaking into a club, really?” You ask unimpressed and Tara immediately pulls back, groaning.

Snickering as you follow closely behind when she walks into her room, trying to get away from you.

“You’re a mood-killer.” She mutters sitting on her bed, arms crossed over her chest; sulking.

“And you’re gonna give me and Sam a heart attack soon.” You joke but it was true. Tara loved to prove her sister wrong; not like being told what to do. It grew a defiant attitude in her that loved to stir shit up just for the hell of it, and that landed her in some hot waters with her friends sometimes. She definitely made your blood pressure sky-rocket, sometimes too.

“Why?” Tara probes. You were always so elusive and mysterious – it came with your job and allure. She can barely get you to open up about your feelings most of the time, saying you prefer to show her than tell her. You definitely did, so this admission from you was new. It has Tara yearning to hear more words of affirmation from you.

“Do I have to spell it out for you? I care about you, dummy. I nearly caused multiple accidents just to get to you. I was going like 80 mph the whole time,” You admitted, scratching the back of your neck a little ashamed.

“You were really that worried?” She asks, looking up at you with a hopeful stare like she was surprised.

“Of course, I was Tara. I even used the siren lights.” You shake your head at the fact that she’s even asking.

She was smiling goofily as you walked closer to stand between her legs, taking both her hands in yours. “I worry for all of you. But you, well, I always worry for you 'cause I’m thinking about you all the time.” You confessed in a whisper in her dark room.

Tara bites her lip, staring up at you with an indecipherable look. “You’re the worst.” Was the words that left her mouth.

“What, why?” You ask laughing.

She lets go of your hands to fiddle with your shirt buttons, muttering, “‘Cause you’re standing here looking all good and saying all the right things, and you still won’t fuck me.”

“Oookay…” You chuckle, grabbing at her fingers trying to unbutton your shirt, “That’s enough from you tonight. Let’s get you to bed before you say anything else you might regret tomorrow.”

She huffed but allowed you to grab her some new clothes to help her change; still not fucking her, Tara complains. Your eyes never even strayed from hers, not even when she took her bra off to change shirts and batted her eyes seductively. When she was all ready, you helped her to bed; tucking her in.

“Stay with me?” She asks grabbing onto your shirt, then gripping tighter. “Please.”

“What about Sam?” You ask softly, pushing away some hair from her face.

“She’s probably already sleeping, if not, she’s gonna be in her room all night.” Tara reasons, fully tugging you on top of her.

You give in like you always do.

Work for you and classes for Tara have been a lot right now, not being able to find time alone. You were practically living at the police station with the crime surge in the city, working late nights and long hours. With Sam’s overprotectiveness, Tara can say goodbye to dates so she only really sees you when you come over with her sister. You take your jacket off, place it on the chair in the corner of her room and tug your boots off. Remembering you had a change of clothes here from when Tara ransacked your closet; you picked out a shirt and shorts before getting into bed beside the younger Carpenter.

She was on you in an instant, swinging a leg over your waist, shoving her face in your neck. You feel her exhale a calming breath, once she’d settled into a comfortable position on you. You reciprocate by wrapping a strong grip around her waist, cherishing the way her skin warmed yours and how the weight of her body felt perfect.

“Just stay with me until I fall asleep?” She asks you with such a vulnerable gaze that you would never dream of ever telling her no.

You nod, pressing a kiss to her lips, then forehead. “Of course, pretty girl. Goodnight.”

She smiles against your lips, whispering her own, “goodnight.”

As you hold Tara Carpenter in your arms, you find yourself fending off sleep, only ever being this relaxed around the girl. You squeeze her slightly, feeling grateful to be with her at this moment with all the craziness in your two’s lives. No worries of outside-world problems could break the cozy bubble you and Tara created. Without ever standing a chance, you lose the fight to sleep and easily fall off the precipice with her in your embrace.

– –

“Tara, do you have my nail polish – Oh this is cute.”

You spring up, the voice startling you from the most relaxed sleep you’ve ever had; the type that makes your entire body heavy and head foggy when you wake up. You were the lightest of sleepers, a pin drop could probably startle you awake, but never when you fell asleep beside Tara.

“What the fuck?” Tara grumbles against your side, peaking her head up to see Quinn watching you two in bed.

It took you a few seconds to realize where you were and instantly pale when you realize you never left the Carpenter Sister’s apartment, you never even made it out of Tara’s bed. You can feel the stream of sunlight coming in from Tara’s window and just know you had majorly fucked up.

“I just needed my nail polish but this is quite a sight, definitely a pleasant surprise.” She waves a hand toward you two, and you roll your eyes.

“Shit babe, Sam.” Tara places a hand on your arm. You check the watch strapped on your wrist for the time, 10:32 AM – making you leap out of her, oh so warm bed.

“Screw Sam, my Captain is gonna be on my ass until next year if I don’t get to work now. I was late about two hours ago.” Grumbling, you yanked Tara’s closet open and grabbed the spare trousers and button-down, you stowed in there.

"Can't say I blame your Captain." Quinn retorts, heavily eyeing you as you change your shorts into trousers.

Tara groans at the mess this morning has already been, flopping onto her back.

“Screw Sam, huh?” She appears, leaning on the threshold just behind Quinn, crossing her arms over her chest.

Your hands stall on the tie you were tying as you hear your friend’s voice, making you turn around.

“I guess that’s a no on the nail polish?” Tara glares at her roommate.

Quinn shrugs, still ogling as you changed before turning to leave the room. “Not a wasted trip though, nice catch Tara.” She winks at the brunette – holding a thumbs up.

The redhead just laughs, moving out of the way when Tara attempts to throw a pillow at her.

“Sam… I’d love to explain but I am so late for work right now.” You plead at the older sister.

Tara sat on her bed wordlessly, unsure of what Sam’s reaction is going to be – but ready to defend her relationship with you, regardless.

Sam chuckles shrugging lightly, “I already knew. Or well, I had a feeling, but this just confirms it.”

You and Tara look at each other at her confession, unsure if Sam’s words hold positive or negative connotations. Sam sees the eye-contact and laughs.

“I’m not mad, I promise. I was a little hurt that you didn’t tell me…” She pauses, “okay. I was really hurt when you guys didn’t tell me. But I realize I haven’t given Tara reason to trust me with anything about her life lately.”

That makes Tara’s head perk up at her sister’s admission. All she’s ever wanted was for Sam to trust her a little because trust went both ways in every type of relationship.

“And well, I guess I can’t think of anyone better to be with my sister than my cop friend. Especially after you came through for her last night. You were driving so fast, I thought I was gonna die.” Sam laughs a little but you’re still unconvinced.

When Sam realizes no one was still talking she chuckles again. “Guys, I’m serious!”

You cough clearing your throat, “Sorry Sam, it’s just that... I–uh,”

Tara decided to cut off your stammering, “We’re just surprised, Sam. We thought you'd be more upset. And that we were more subtle.” She admits, shooting you a look.

“You weren't. But, I thought a lot about what to say until I realized it was just you guys and I care about you two so much. You don’t think I noticed Tara being a lot happier than usual and you actually looking somewhat at peace?” She asks rhetorically, reading you and Tara to filth – your cheeks reddening, not being used to being at the other end of the ‘questioning’.

“I see how you look at each other. I know you’ll protect her.” That last sentence she says looking at you and it means the world to get her approval – something that you didn’t even know you wanted, you nod at her appreciatively.

Sam pushes herself off the doorframe, tapping on it. “Now come on, there’s breakfast in the kitchen, don't let it get cold. And Y/N, I don’t think you’re gonna make it to work today.” She winks, leaving you and Tara alone in the room.

You didn’t say anything for a few seconds, unable to find words to describe what just transpired in the span of a few minutes. Then you hear a scoff bring you out of your reverie.

“What the hell was that,” Tara commented, getting up from the bed and closing the door before approaching you.

“I’m… not really sure. I can’t tell if I’m still asleep.” You mumble, grabbing at her cheeks to make sure you weren't in a dream. Tara whines against the pinching, swatting your hands away.

You laughed at her frown before leaning down to kiss her slightly chapped lips, all soft and slow. Tara pulls you closer by the neck, sighing against pressed mouths. A sweet moan escapes her mouth when you suck down hard on her lip, releasing it with a loud pop.

“You think I should call in sick today?” You whisper, running a gentle thumb to soothe her swollen lip.

Tara nods, eyes half-open still a little dazed from your kiss. When she gathers her bearings, she runs a hand down your half-done tie, tugging you closer. “Definitely.”

"You can tell me more about how worried you were and how fast you were driving too," She whispers against your mouth, using your tie as a leash.

"Are you turned on right now?"

"Kinda... can I drive with the sirens on?" She slides the question in like it was nothing.

"No."

"Buzzkill." She teases but pulls you on top when her back hits the mattress. “I’ll make you change your mind.”

You definitely forgot to make that phone call.

The rest of that morning was spent in between Tara’s sheets, you two hidden away from the world; ignoring the flurry of texts and calls from your work phone. Only leaving her room to grab some food and water, but getting caught in the crossfire of teasings from Tara's friends when they see the hickeys on your neck.

Tara merely strides past you, dressed in nothing but your button-down, stopping for a peck on the lips and grabbing the water from your hands before hiding back in her room to ignore her friends. You don’t miss the cheeky wink she tosses you and the grimace Sam lets out as she watches. Instead, you keep your head down and follow the smaller girl like a lost puppy, ignoring the other's whistles as you do.

And, when you make your way to your desk the next day, a mountain pile of shitty cases for the next month is stacked high as punishment.

You still find it hard to feel any remorse for the no-show.

It was definitely worth it.

– –

#tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter x fem reader #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter imagine #sam carpenter #scream #scream 6 #scream vi #jenna ortega

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adams-angels · 2 months

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can you do a story where Adam is drunk and he vents to you about how Lilith and Eve left for Lucifer and you end up cuddling? (not dating btw, just friends)

Oops I made I'm pathetic again lol 🎸

💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖

Vent

It was late... Really late... You were sound asleep when there was a thump at your door. And then another. And then more. You groaned yourself awake, slipping out of bed. You put your robe on as you make your way to the front door. You rub your eyes as you open the door to see Adam. Very intoxicated, hold either side of the door frame to keep himself upright. "Okay." You sighed. "Took you long enough, bItch." You slurred his words. You pinched the bridge of your nose before moving your hand up, running it through your hair. "What is it this time, Adam?" This was unfortunately a common occurrence. Adam wood come to your apartment drunk rant about work, the seraphim, the women who'd reject him, Lute basically anything that pissed him off that day. You wouldn't mind so much if he wasnt drunk! He'd always try and get it off with you, but you didn't like him like that and you're pretty he didn't like you like that either. It was tiring.

He stared at you. His eyes half lidded. A scowl covered his face. "Do you know how hard it is to be me?" "Here we go." You think. You keep your face expressionless. Not that he'd notice you rolling your eyes anyway. You step aside for him to enter your apartment and he stumbles in towards your couch. He dumps himself on to it with such force you could of sworn you heard a crack.

"like, you think I have it easy?!" He scoffs. "Well, I do.. BUT, I didn't!" You walk over to the couch and sit on the coffee table so your facing Adam. "I had Lilith, right. And she was beautiful, oh my god stunning! But the FUCKING BITCH LEFT ME! FUCKING, ME! FIR SOME FUCKIN' SHORT ASS MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ANGEL!!?! What?! What was it about him, huh? His wings???" He continued. "What? I'm too fuCKIN TALL FOR YOU BABE!!" He yelled into the void, like he was screaming at Lilith.

You couldn't believe it. He was talking about Lilith. Never had he mentioned her. Ever since you met him he never once spoke about his ex wife's. Did something happen? Why is this all coming out? You didn't get a chance to speak, although you never really did when he vents.

"I gOt wiiiinnggggs now!!! AM I STILL NOT-" He stopped himself. "AUGH!" His hands went for his mask, he took it off and stared at the face of it. "And then Eve.... Not as hot as Lilith but a good replacement I guess. And she.. did left me too... For him." He sighed. "Well... Basically... He already took one." His eyes meet yours. "Why did he need her too?" He asked you, he was asking questions that he new you didn't have the answers for. "Why did they leave me, Y/N? What is it about me that's so fuckin insufferable that they left?" His voice waivered. "Why didn't they love me?"

That was it you dived into his arms, holding him closely as he started weeping into the crook of your neck. "Why does no one love me?" He sobbed. "Oh, Adam. You are loved. By so many people." His arms wrapped around you, his clawed at the back of your robe as he continued to cry.

You moved yourself to sit beside him as he continued to cry, you make sure to keep your arms around him. "Why him? What makes him so special?" He continued, he was now cuddled into your chest as he vented. "Everyone just thinks I'm okay, but I'm not. I'm not fucking okay!" He would rant between his sobs. You ran your fingers through his hair eventually he fell asleep on your lap. There was no way you could move, so you accepted your fate a tried finding a comfortable position to sleep in.

When you woke up you saw Adam trying to sneak out. With your snacks. His stares at you like a deer in headlights. "Uh... What are you doing?" You ask. "What's it fuckin look like, bitch? Bye!" He practically ran out of you apartment not saying another word.

～⁠♡✧⁠｡ I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! ｡✧⁠♡～⁠

#hazbin hotel #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel adam x reader #adam x reader

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zuffer-weird-girl · 5 months

Text

Anon: heyyy girl! How have you been? I must say that your blog, no matter when, is still STUNNING. I follow you since the bazooka squad era lol. Can you pretty please make a request for me about Chisaki? One where he is been howling his ass on his office since pops kinda grounded him with paper work but reader comes and just straight up takes him out... kinda like kidnapping but in a good way?

You smiled kindly at the precept who let you in inside the house and made your way with a happy aura that wasn't quite frequent on the shie hassaikai, but it was sure much like a breath of fresh air.

Although your smiled dropped when you noticed the leader discussing something with some scared precepts before they hurried off when the old man just pointed his finger at the door you just came in with a very stern and rather loud '-now before I change my mind'.

You stepped outside of the way of the precepts and frowned at the elder massaging his temples with a head sigh.

"Good afternoon pops." You muttered and the old man immediately stopped his actions to look at you and give you at least a kind yet tired smiled.

"Good afternoon (Y/n) my dear, how have you been?" He fixed his posture as you walked a bit closer to him.

"Same old." You giggled "How are you though? You sound tired..."

"Tired?" The elder chuckled but you gulped when you saw his right eye twitching "I'm fucking pissed off actually."

You widened your eyes... in all of the years you've been here you never actually heard a swear coming from this man's mouth... well, until now at least.

"U-uh-"

"Your boyfriend just simply refuses to listen." He chuckled a bit darkly "I tell him to NOT do something and guess what he does? The exact damn opposite." He ranted on as you nodded a bit, still not quote recovered at seeing the usual calm and collected pops so... irritated.

"I swear he gives me more headaches than all of my years inside this fucking organization and I've been here practically all of my life." He sighed while pushing his Grey hair back before looking at you "I apologize my dear, I will just go lay down a bit to calm myself down."

"I-is okay." You smiled a bit "just try to calm down a bit yeah?... is chisaki-"

"On his office." He grumbled while rubbing his head "I gave him something to do, not simply fuck up all my hard work to not have the police on my ass at least." He muttered and your jaw fell.

Alright, He was definitely pissed at your boyfriend.

You took some steps and knocked lightly on his door but heard nothing.

"Love? Is me." You knocked once while calling "Can I please come in?"

You had to put your ear on the door to finally hear a grumble as you sighed and shrugged. Close enough to a answer.

As soon as you entered and closed the door you didn't know whether to laugh or gasp..

There was at least five piles full of documents on Kai's desk. And it wasn't small piles, no, they were big. Similar to those cartoons when a character is at their work.

Kai hated taxes and hated to do these kind of work inside the yakusa... so judging by the tired yet pissed look of your boyfriend, this was probably his punishment given by pops.

"Oh honey... what did you do this time?" You accidentally let out as Kai only glared at you.

"If you're here to mock me or give me a scolding about my ideas to put this sorry place back on their glory days not being 'right' than just get out of here." He growled and you blinked... pops did scared you a bit when he growled, but your boyfriend? Nah, you were used to his bad mood.

"I didn't do neither of these, I just asked you what did you do to make pops put you in this kind of work... again." You lifted your hands up in a signal of peace as he only grumbled.

You shaked your head a bit before walking towards where he was sitting. He didn't stop what he was doing until your hands started to massage a bit his shoulder... he did tense up a bit at the start but soon you heard a little sigh and his body soon started to relax, little by little.

You snorted but that was enough for him to glare at you once again.

"Care to tell me what happened?" You lowered yourself down to put your head on his shoulder as he scoffed. "Not going to?"

Another scoff which made you roll your eyes at his attitude, until an idea popped as you smiled mischievously.

His breath caught on his throat when you started to plant kisses on the exposed part of his neck, and you couldn't help the giggled escaping your lips at feeling his skin shiver the slightly bit.

He muttered your name in warning as you kept kissing all of his weak spots.

"Tell me what happened" kiss "you might even feel better" kiss "please?" Another kiss "I want to try to calm you down a bit." Kiss

It was silent for a bit until he sighed deeply, hanging his head backwards a bit but enough to bump softly with yours. You removed yourself from the crook of his neck to watch from upwards his face which was clearly more relaxed, eyes closed and no more his eyebrows scrunched which surely would gave him wrinkles before his 40s.

You waited for him to peak his eyes open before silently suggesting to take off his black face mask and he only closed them once again, silently letting you removed the mask to see his whole face on all its glory. You smiled at seeing the signs of some of hair grow in his chin as you gently carreseded the area with your thumb as he grunted.

"Forgot to shave?" You asked as you felt your fingers being slight tickeed by ghe small facial hairs of his.

"Didn't had time." He justified, his frown coming back nefore you kissed his forehead.

"I like it. It suits you. Makes you even more senior than usual." You kissed his lips as he scoffed later.

"Disgusting."

It was a peaceful silence until you felt one of your hands being picked up by one of his bigger gloved hands. He brought close to his face, smelling the scent of the soap or hand sanitizer you used due to his mysiphohia and he couldn't help the warm feeling as he planted a small and almost shy kiss on your hand afterwards.

You smiled at the gesture, feeling all warm and fuzzy yourself at how far he had come over his own mysophobia just for you.

"There was this one specific minor gang on the center of Tokyo." He started, staring at your hand he hadn't let go of "A bunch of imbeciles, yet they had some.. "merch" I was quite interested in. It had a vicious effect on the brain and would lead us to gain some money to-"

"You were dealing with drugs again, weren't you?" You muttered.

"... you sound disappointed."

"Well, kinda. I know your intentions are good love but... it's just isn't right." You sighed, knowing your ideals were very much different. Kai could be extremist and radical sometimes on things he wanted and believed, quirks being a very much example of it.

You felt himself letting go of your hand and standing up from his chair, and for a second you thought you had angered him again but he just looked at you with solemn eyes.

"You're better than me as a human in many ways. Yet, I want this organization to come back as being a respected and powerful one. The method we've been doing for these last years is not working." He spoke as he took some steps and sat on the couch of his office, legs spread and arms resting over it "Some rules need to be broken to get our goal."

"But that's not right still love.." You dared to speak as you walked near him "Besides, you always end up on a fight or using your quirk on someone..."

"That is just a consequence, but is worth it." He growled at the ground.

"Is it?" You muttered "I.. I keep worrying about you or if you're okay almost all of the time now."

"You don't need to."

"Of course I need to!" You exclaimed while taking a seat next to him "Kai, I love you. You're my boyfriend. And I care and worry about you... don't you feel the same about me?"

Silence... and you sighed. You knew he felt the same way, but sometimes you couldn't help but think your man was way too complicated...

"Is what he wants." He broke the tension "thats something that he wants for so long... it would be the only way to pay him back to what he had done to... me." He muttered, staring ahead of him as you frowned.

"... I know you want to pay him back love, but maybe you being his successor is already enough."

"Is not." Kai muttered "trust me... is not."

You frowned before scooting closer and looking at him. His golden eyes looked at you for a bit before sighing and lifting one of his arms to allow you to hug his torso.

You laid your head on the crook of his neck as his gloved hand remained in your scalp, while both of your hands and his other one were on top of each other.

"You didn't change my mind about much things I did, but... I'm glad you came here. To check on me, I guess." He muttered and you couldn't help bit to snort.

"You're so stubborn." You whispered before looking at him, his stoic face no where to be seen as he scoffed at your words.

"Look who is talkin-" He widened his eyes when you kissed him once again, the hand that was on top of his now sweetly holding the right side of his jaw.

"You were saying?" You giggled at his red cheeks and those golden eyes glaring at you before he grabbed your both cheeks "Mh!"

"Shut up you brat. Didn'tyou want to calm me down? Then be quiet." He muttered huskily near your lips before kissing them again

Safe to say, he wasn't finishing those taxes.

#overhaul x reader #chisaki kai x reader #overhaul #chisaki kai #bnha x reader #bnha villains x reader #kai chisaki x reader #bnha villains #zuffer writings

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witheringwidgetwrites · 9 months

Text

Obey Me Bros React to an MC with Narcolepsy!

This is almost purely self indulgent. Also based off of my personal symptoms! Also small rant but I absolutely do not think Belphie has narcolepsy. I feel like a lot of folks don't have much knowledge on it and make assumptions just bc he sleeps so much. Also did not include cataplexy in this! I felt it would make it much too long lol.

TW: falling asleep while driving is mentioned, alcohol use is vaguely mentioned

LUCIFER

Admittedly, he doesn't know much about it before you join the program. Has a slight assumption that you'll just sleep a lot like Belphegor. Learns very quickly that that is not entirely the case.

His first introduction to your narcolepsy is when he hears about you falling asleep during class, and he's a little irked. You have to explain it to him, and you simply can't help it.

He gets to see it up close and personal when you fall asleep at the dinner table, hand barely holding up your head, plate untouched and eyes fluttering closed. He watches you intently, unsure of how he should proceed. He lets you rest, hushing his brothers and waking you up soon after, urging you to finish your dinner.

He finally understands when you're one of Diavolo's parties, as usual, he kept a close eye on you, watching your hips sway to the music as you danced with Asmo, seemingly having the time of you life! Until you suddenly stop, starting to walk away, almost tripping over your own feet as you go to sit down. He think's you're sick for a moment, before watching you lay your head on the table and quickly doze off.

Is on top of any medications you may need to take. He sets a fairly strict schedule, making sure you get enough restful sleep to reduce sleep attacks during the day.

If you struggle with insomnia, he'll help you sleep in anyway he can, even if it's lending you his coat or his very comfortable bed.

MAMMON

Has no clue what it is, firstly assumes it's like epilepsy. Which he also has little knowledge of.

His first account is when you first arrive, he's walking you through the RAD halls and you start to trip over yourself, head seemingly bobbing back and fourth as your eyelids flutter. "Wha? Did ya not sleep right or somethin'?" You have to explain to him what it is, and he probably doesn't fully understand it yet.

As you grow closer, he lets you drive his prized Demonio 666 Lexura. Very rarely, but he couldn't ignore the sparkle in your eyes when he joked about it. He starts to panic when he sees you slightly drift to the side of the road, just barely noticeable, and he realizes you're having trouble keeping your eyes open. He quickly takes over, heart still racing at the thought of what could have possibly happened.

Definitely takes it more seriously after the car incident, he refuses to let you drive anywhere, almost ever. It's very rare that he'll let you behind the wheel.

Once he notices the insomnia, he's definitely confused. "I thought ya had that sleepy human disease?" He cocks his head at you, pursing his lips. You have to explain the science behind narcolepsy for him to really understand.

He also likes to keep you to a loose schedule, calling in a favor with Belphegor to make sure you're asleep by a certain time.

LEVIATHAN

Has an idea of what it is, only because of NarcoBerries from one of his games. Very vague idea, however. Guesses that Narco = sleep, so some kind of sleep issue.

His first encounter with it is when you're playing Devil Kart, one of the first few times he's let you in his room, and he looks over to realize that your eyelids are halfway closed, and your controller is slipping out of your hands: He panics for a moment, not wanting to touch you, but settles on leaning in and calling your name. He's shocked when you startle, eyes still half lidded and yawning. "Sorry Levi, can I take a nap in here?" Before he can respond, you're already halfway asleep. He let's you lay there, grabbing one of his extra pillows to throw at you.

The encounter that makes him understand a lot more is when you go to a human world convention! You'd been friends for a while, and you were both so excited! There's an unmistakable excitement in your eyes, and he's so giddy! He wouldn't call it a date, but probably thinks of it as one, secretly. He's quickly disappointed when you're sitting down to eat, and you drop your fork onto your plate, head slowly dropping down. He lifts your head, not wanting you to fall or face plant into the food, and talks to you quietly, "are you bored, MC? We can head home if you need!" He's hoping you don't take him up on his offer. "Thank you Levi, can we just sit against the wall and let me nap in your lap for a minute?"

He's a little embarrassed, but powers through, only for his Henry!

He is one who does not keep you on a schedule, but he tries to get you to sleep in his room while he stays up, playing games. He wants to make sure you're getting as much rest as a normie needs!

Will also let you play games with him when your insomnia is awful though!

ASMODEUS

Probably has heard of it as 'sleeping beauty syndrome' or something. Only finds out what narcolepsy is from Lucifer, when Asmo brings up how you've fallen asleep so often lately.

His first encounter with your narcolepsy is when he's doing your makeup, he's applied almost everything, until he finally gets to your eyeshadow. He turns around, a magenta pigment on the brush, and he realizes your head isn't tilted upwards anymore! Tries to talk to you, asking you to life your head, but he realizes you're asleep. Frowns, but crouches down to finish his work.

The encounter that makes him understand a lot more is when you're at a party at The Fall! Asmo is barely buzzed, he turns away from you for a few minutes, just enough to get another drink, and he can't find you! After looking for a short period, he finds you at one of the booths, your head in your arms, leaning on the table, he can hear soft noises from you as he approaches. Tries to wake you, gently shoving your shoulder before he realizes you're not budging. He sits with you, texting his brothers and asking what he should do, as he can't just leave you there! He settles on waiting for Beelzebub to escort you, and tipsy Asmo home.

Is not very helpful with your insomnia unfortunately. He needs his beauty rest and so do you! Might recommend medication to get you to sleep, or might suggest his baby brother as an assistance.

Might also suggest some sort of physical activity to tire you out.

SATAN

Knows a little about narcolepsy. He's interested enough to study it before you arrive though. Makes the assumption that you have all the symptoms.

His first incident is after a few weeks, you're sort of settled into Devildom life, and you both have a habit of meeting in the library after school most days. He's sitting in the chair next to you, engrossed in his book! As he reads the final pages of the chapter, he looks up to discuss it with you, only to see you with your eyes closed, head thrown back, and steady breaths rising your chest. He feels the blood run to his cheeks, he thinks you look vulnerable. He puts his bookmark in, getting up to crouch down in front of you. He pushes against your shoulder gently, whispering your name. "MC, let's go. I'm going to walk you home."

The incident that makes him understand it more is when he's started trying to court you. What else than the cat cafe? You both walk down the busy street, brushing shoulders as you approach the door. He orders a tea, and a pasty for you. You make your way to the cat room, and you both take a seat, he watches a beautiful black cat crawl into your lap, kneading at your thighs. You giggle at him, and he smiles back, before his attention turns to a small kitten that scurried accross the room. He follows it, dangling a flirt pole for her to chase after. He turns to show you, before finding you dozing off, breath slowing, eyes mostly closed, hand still on the kitty in your lap, who seems to be enjoying your affection. He might be in love. Let's you rest while he plays with the cats.

BEELZEBUB

Puts the idea together from Narcoberries. (HC that they're a real thing in Devildom lol.) Also assumes it's similar to Belph, you're just very sleepy constantly.

Isn't very sure of your condition, but as your grow closer, he notices quite a few patterns, and then realizes how much it really effects you.

The first incident is at one of his Fangoul games! You've really grown on him lately, and hearing you cheer from the crowd while he plays gets him riled up. Until he looks over, just scoring the 2nd to last point he needs to win, and you're slouched over, head leaning on Lucifer, who wrapped his coat around you. He realizes you're asleep, before going back to playing, hoping you'll wakeup to see him win.

He learns a lot more about you when he sits with you at the RAD cafeteria, you're chatting while he eats. Well, you're chatting, he's mumbling between bites. He watches you while you talk, and he starts to hear you trip over your words, speech slurring slightly, and eyelids starting to drop. "MC, are you okay?" He pauses his eating momentarily, looking you over. "Yeah, I'm okay, just having a sleep attack I think" "Do you want me to talk you to the infirmary?" "I'm okay, might just nap here for a minute. You can have my lunch." He's greatful, attempting to leave you some food, before he gives into his sin.

Calls on Belphie to help with you insomnia, and he tries to carry around a small pillow or blanket in his backpack for you.

BELPHEGOR

Knows about it. Used to be fascinated by human diseases and illnesses. Doesn't remember everything about it, however.

The first incident is when him and his brothers are working at The Fall. (Bunny event!) You come to visit, the place is packed. He elects to be your waiter, sauntering over to your table before asking, "what can I get for you today, MC?" You pick your meal, offering him a sleepy smile before he walks away. He comes back after 20 minutes, he chuckles, seeing your hand barely holding up your head, eyes closed. He wakes you gently, offering to skip his shift so you can nap together.

He realizes how badly it effects you when you're out stargazing, something you'd been wanting to do with him for weeks, and you can't seem to keep your eyes open. He chuckles when he hears you start to snore softly, so he softens his words, letting you doze off, snuggling into you while he joins you in slumber.

He is the obvious solution to insomnia. He'll simply use dream magic to put you to sleep. Look no further, he is your savior.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #lucifer x reader #mammon x reader #leviathan x reader #asmodeus x reader #satan x reader #beelzebub x reader #belphegor x reader

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haveyouseenthishorrormovie · 2 months

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*breaks fingers* Let's go, mod Sus' rant on 247°F (2011)

Talking from the viewpoint of a finnish person, while the movie itself is American, and no I haven't actually watched this one but I did read the plot summary and watch a little bit for proper arguments.

TLDR: Characters are freaking idiots and physics don't work in this world, apparently.

For the reference, 247° fahrenheit is about ~120° celcius. So yes we're talking about hot sauna. I personally can stand 100°C for a while at best but anyways.

I guess we could start by inspecting the sauna itself first. It's supposedly electric sauna (which, it doesn't even look like a proper one but more spa/steam sauna than an actual good one) but also with this large rock pillar stove in the middle of RELATIVELY LARGE ROOM. With no leveled up seats, just one seats on same level + you could sit on the backrests for more space and height I guess. Compare that to actual proper finnish sauna:

This is a bit of a mix of modern and traditional sauna but only by the looks. Pay attention to seats on different levels, you want to have seats near the ceilings because that's where it's the hottest. Hot air raises up so it's cooler at the floor level, if not even very cold after getting used to the temperature at standing level.

Now the stove in the movie is supposedly the kind you throw water onto to release the steam and more heat. And here comes the fun part. In the beginning, they set the temperature to 187° F AKA ~86° C???? AND THEN THEY SAY IT'S "CRAZY HOT"???? IN THIS VERY LARGE ROOM WHERE HEAT SPREADS OUT A TON? BITCH THAT PLACE IS COLD and they act like they're already toasting in there???? Weak ass americans. AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN TOSS WATER ONTO STOVE BEFORE THAT, they have just this one huge heat source in the middle of LARGE ROOM that's like WARM at best??? You're supposedly to throw water on that thing, or otherwise it'd be same as you'd just stand next to a hot cooking stove. You don't even start sweating properly without the steam which helps with the heat releasing from your body. You're just cooking yourself with that thing.

Okay, so just? Turn off the electric heater (which becomes a major plot point of the movie, so that's not an option here for some reason?), and don't toss water onto stove. LAY DOWN ON THE FREAKING FLOOR??? WHERE IT'S COOLEST OR EVEN COLD BECAUSE IT'S ASSUMINGLY MARBLE/ROCK/WHATEVER FLOOR. Sure if the average temperature in the room is 247°F aka ~120°C it is hot, but it's still cooler at floor level far away from the stove.

And speaking of the heater. At first I thought it was like, they set the heater to get hotter and hotter on purpose but why would you do that if you can't handle shit??? I guess the thermosthat malfunctions or some shit or because the heat keeps rising??? That's not how electronics work as far as I'm aware but suspend my disbelief I guess. I can't tell too much what the characters decide to do without spoilers but let's say they're all massive idiots with their choices. This is all on them. (BTW if this was a traditional wood-heated sauna, just stop putting more logs in the fire, lol).

Okay, let's assume it's all because uh physics broke or something. It's getting hot in there. You got a small window there, and even in trailer we see characters manage to break it. But apparently??? THE HEAT DOESN'T ESCAPE ENOUGH FROM IT???? WHAT. You can this huge room with one heat source, it's cold outside, and the heat still doesn't escape enough to make it more managable in there or at least near the window to cool them off??? Physics, hello???

Like legit the entire point of the movie is it's getting too hot in there but there's so many things that help you to stay cool in there until something gets fixed. The characters aren't even drunk which would've made this so much more belieable because alcohol is probably the main reason (aside sudden health problems like cardiac arrest) people would die in saunas because they pass out in there. But no, this is just idiot characters being idiots.

Also take your freaking clothes off, cowards. You can't even call yourself a sauna movie if there's no bare butts and peenors and natural hanging booba in non-sexual bathing setting through entire movie smh.

#not a poll #mod sus

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barbwritesstuff · 5 months

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I really enjoyed Crying Wolf (after about one page of being a bit scared cause the words "prison" and "romance" used together can be really...not good in the hands of other people lol) so i'll be buying any book you were to publish. :D

Okay.

Story time.

Perhaps also rant time.

I don't know. We'll see where this takes us.

For those that don't know, Crying Wolf is a novel I wrote that was published in 2021. It's about twin brothers who get sent to prison for a crime only one of them committed. They're also werewolves.

You can buy it here if you're interested.

Now for the drama.

Crying Wolf is not a romance. At least, I never intended it to be a romance when I wrote it. It was inspired by the Australian TV show Wentworth (which is a prison drama) and me wanting to explore werewolves in a world where their existence is not secret.

But, peeling back another layer, it was really about me missing my sibling who I'd previously been very close to who suddenly moved to the other side of the planet, and processing some feelings I had about being in intimidating environments.

Ali's romance with Morgan was not nearly as explicit or important to the story in the first draft, and Amir's relationship with Ben was much more queer platonic.

But, I was told very unambiguously by several people, that I needed to increase the romantic elements. A lot of early readers felt the drama between the brothers wasn't enough to hold their interest.

Which is fair enough. I made the romances a bigger part of the story, but they still aren't the story. The story is still the brothers surviving a very dangerous environment while learning to let each other go.

It was, even then, still not a romance.

I never once tried to sell it to publishers as a romance. I always said it was a family drama. I distinctly remember making a point about this because I didn't want publishers to be disappointed.

But family dramas set in prisons which also happen to be full of werewolves isn't really a marketable category. Gay paranormal prison romance is.

I think this is was even more true back in 2018 when I signed Crying Wolf's publishing contract.

I noticed during the editing process that my editors really wanted to increase the romantic elements of the story even more, but that didn't really bother me. I don't think I 100% realised they intended to market it as a romance until later.

And I don't hate that. I guess I can see why they did it. And, with the edits, there is very much a romantic feel to it now. But, I still don't think it fits well within the category.

The literal climax of the story is about the brothers calling out to each other and giving each other strength from a distance, even if they can't be together in person. It's not about the kissing.

I don't know how readers feel, but that's how I feel. Especially considering how dark prison romances can be, I just don't think it fits the label.

Ultimately, Crying Wolf did not sell very well. Sure, there are a few hundred copies floating around out there, but it doesn't pay any bills. A part of that, I think, is it came out at a weird time in a weird market. COVID changed a lot of things. However, I also think some people picked it up thinking it was a dark romance and were disappointed... while others who may have liked it didn't buy it because they thought it was a dark romance.

Or maybe it just isn't the sort of thing a ton of people would be interested in. I dunno.

I still really like it. I think I did a good job writing it and reread parts of it from time to time. But, personally, for me, it isn't a romance.

It's about twin werewolf brothers being bad at emotions in a very fucked up situation.

Anyway, I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and would buy other things I publish. I hope you'll get that opportunity and I hope this sort of cleared up the marketing weirdness with Crying Wolf. 💙

#crying wolf #long post #bookblr #publishing industry

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creganofhousestark · 1 year

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(Screenshots because I’m one hundred percent sure i will be blocked for stating facts that go against the op’s headcanons if i were to reblog my opinions under their post and then will proceed to rant away about the eViL aRyA sTaNs whose crime is, well, reading the books, you know?)

So, i had the misfortune of coming across this one post by @agentrouka-blog when i was going through the main tags and, god! The amount of bs i have to wade through in the name of fandom experience is concerning at this point.

Whenever did Sansa cover for Arya? When she was declaring her as a traitor to a bloodthirsty Cersei Lannister that it was her sister with the traitor’s blood and not her after her father’s imprisonment? Or when she threw Arya under the bus at Trident?

“She blames Sansa for things she never did” dude there was never one moment where Arya blamed Sansa for things she never did. Hell, Arya didn’t blame Sansa enough. Guess it’s time to reread AGoT lol. Sansa “it’s your butcher boy’s fault for dying because he attacked the prince” is blameless y’all *mic drop*

“Violently attacks her because that’s her opportunity to blow off steam after a traumatic 4 days” yes because your sister is basically accusing of treason when the reason behind her actions was purely defense. Apparently you must be level headed in the face of your your sister refusing to be honest in a moment when the outcome (which is Mycah living or dying) depends on her word. If Sansa’s really as smart and intelligent as stansas claim then Joffrey’s actions at the Trident should’ve opened her eyes. Ned was the Hand of the King, the King’s BFF. She was under no pressure to maintain diplomacy. Hell, Ned was right by her side, reassuring her and encouraging her to speak her truth. What would’ve happened if she were honest? The betrothal would’ve been called off? Ned would’ve lost his spot at worst? Big loss, the North would have minded it’s own business as usual….and Sansa’s southern dreams would have shattered. In that moment Sansa chose her dreams and fantasies over her sister and remain blind to the kind of a monster Joffrey was.

Moreover, being focused and worried about herself and her desires is not necessarily a flaw, Sansa’s just more human. She’s got five heroes to compete against, which is why she may appear more flawed than Arya. But honestly it’s all subjective. Arya’s character is simply rich and has a hell lot more depth, that’s all.

Mostly Ned’s favouritism BRO NED CHOSE TO GIVE UP THE HONOUR HE VALUED hell he chose a traitor’s death for her and, goddammit there’s not one moment where he favoured one over the other. Do not talk about the damned flowers scene in Sansa I, Ned would’ve grinned and thanked Sansa for the same bleeding flowers. Sansa was just pissed that Ned didn’t reprimand his child for behaving like a typical 9 year old child. Which, nobility or no, is quite common in that society. Hell, we have textual evidence of Catelyn playing with LF and Lysa making mud pies at 12. It’s almost as if Sansa can’t stand anything short of Sansa 2.0 from her sister.

Arya’s miles better. Just ask GRRM. He wrote the books.

Anyways, thanks agentrouka for reminding me how brilliant of a writer George Martin is. The man picked stereotypical heroes and gave their stories not-so-stereotypical twists as their arcs progressed. An exiled powerless princess who earned it all and more through her blood sweat and tears, a non conformist noblewoman who’s gone through an extraordinary number of trials, a powerful noble dwarf unwanted by his own blood, a disabled boy with unparalleled magical potential and a bastard from two powerful, magical families who was practically thrown aside.

#asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #arya stark #sansa stark #asoiaf fandom discourse #george r r martin

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bitter-sweet-coffee · 10 months

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ok this time there ARE barbie spoilers but it’s just the things i didn’t like so feel free to ignore this if you had fun and don’t want me ruining anything! like seriously, i do not want to make anyone upset here because of how positive the fandom vibes are. i just wanna y’know, air out some dirty laundry i have with what i just witnessed

as a disclaimer i’ve only seen it once and it ended like 40 minutes ago LMAO forgive me for any name mistakes i suck with those

- ken never got closure and i get what they were going for, just having a bunch of guys repeat “ken is me” over and over isn’t cutting it. felt this way with the “hi barbie” intro. like yes, i get what it aims to accomplish, but god does it get grating

- SOME of the fourth wall breaks were good. most were not. weird barbie and all the discontinued barbies were funny, and the drinking water gag was great. but the narrator stuff was WAY too prevalent and i get that it’s camp, but it was a tad too much at times. i’m torn on the margot line because it wasn’t necessarily bad, i just think it ruined the moment a little

- SO MANY UNFINISHED PLOTLINES OH MY GOD. you’re telling me the travel montage was all it took for gloria and sasha to bond and fix their issues? we saw their conflict through barbie’s memory link, it was never elaborated on. not once. suddenly by the end they’re getting along. the same could be about weird barbie? she always embraced the weirdness so the apology and “un-outcasting” felt off because a) it seemed like she was secluded by her own will and b) the barbies were never necessarily mean to her, they just acknowledged she’s different? which she knew and was okay with and self aware of? idk i guess an apology is fair, but the way it was delivered implied a deeper conflict we never saw

- mattel boardroom. enough said. i get will ferrell probably has a contracted screentime for funny gimmicks but it was so grating and a waste of time

- in a similar vein, all the travel montages combined probably take up as much time as the real-world scenes. for a movie that advertised barbie in the real world at a seeming first glance, that basically never happened LOL maybe that’s on me for having expectations though

- listen, LISTEN. i know there’s a lot of conflict right now with the “boo forced feminism” propaganda spreading around and i swear on god that isn’t me. HOWEVER. i do think that the way they went about resetting free will and that super long montage from gloria was not handled as well as it should have been. do i agree with everything said in the speech she gave? abso fuckin lutely. but remember, SHOW not TELL. they created this brainwashing plot device only to immediately dismantle it with one #girlboss speech which imo, undermines the very point the monologue was trying to make. i just wish they did more actual empowerment and not cheap exposition via a shenanigans montage and a third party speaker reciting a well constructed feminist rant which was just… INSERTED into a feel-good scene. i was hoping for something more organic but that’s just me. like, the barbie feeling self conscious was on the nose, but it did its thing. it’s camp i expected that. by this point in the film however, i expected more

- last thing for now: the plot was just a mess i’m sorry. the beginning was slow and expositional sure i get it, maybe it dragged a little too long when you consider everything else they tried to shove into the runtime, but for a typical film that would be a decent portion of establishing a plot. the real world segment? god, so many open doors, most of them were ignored. 99% of the real world was gimmicks and throwaway lines. the bench scene was the shining gem in that pacing dumpster. mattel plot we already know i don’t like, minus the ruth part. i have a lot of thoughts on ken patriarchy that i don’t have time or effort to unpack right now, but it was funny. and then it went on way too long and became annoying but not in the good way, in the “i get this is camp but it feels stupid” way. gosling killed that musical number but for a film about barbie, that was a hella long ken segment. like, this was a ken movie with barbie having existential dread in the background. then a bunch of magical fixits happen and suddenly all conflicts are resolved through magical means and cheap jokes and imaginary character development!!! oh but they gave barbie a pussy we unironically stan that for her (i’m serious lol like i think the joke was such a lame way to end the film but it’s funny enough to say that this whole film all barbie wanted was gender affirming surgery. i’ll allow it for sheer comedic purposes)

TLDR: i have many many complaints but i don’t think the movie is bad. it’s just fun, not particularly good all around. IT HAS GOOD MOMENTS!!! I AM NOT DENYING THERE IS SOME QUALITY HERE! i just think its hit or miss and while not every film has to be a feminist manifesto, i think all the hype and expectations definitely oversold the actual film i just witnessed because it was not particularly good. but it’s fun! and it’s okay to just enjoy that, this is my initial impression but maybe i’ll grow to like it more. just wanted to put this out here in case someone else feels the same way and doesn’t want to take the fall for finding it mid

#barbie movie #barbie movie spoilers #barbie spoilers #THIS IS A RAMBLED POST ABOUT MY IMMEDIATE CRITICISMS NOT AN OFFICIAL REVIEW LOL

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not-souleaterpost · 3 months

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youtube

Yup, the other AMV/Edit from the iceberg, same reason for uploading it seperately. This one is less melodramatic, so if you disliked that about the last one maybe this one will get more than two likes on here lol. (Also some other thoughts and update after the break)

But first, the iceberg, if anyone is curious:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lf_dGJyQJOc

Anyways, yeah, actually this one had a whole backstory (kinda) around it, remember like two years ago being on a walk and listening to the song and thinking "I guess this one could work as an amv- but nah amv's are emberassing, I would never make one" - guess history is funny like that. Still wonder if people got pissed of and left the iceberg video before ever coming to the part cause I kinda shittalked amv makers, guess I had to do it, it is what it is. Still, dunno think it turned quite well for basically the first amv I ever really made (think the closest I did before was cutting the Hey Arnold intro to Uptown funk when my brother asked me as a request 7 years ago lol, that shit got lost forever and only went up to the first 20 seconds or something anyways) But yeah, if I'm already rambling, guess this will probably be my last post for some time, will try to abstaine from just posting bullshit and spaming tags on here, hopefully for good but worst case atleast like for a month and a half. Ofcourse I'll upload more substantial shit here when I have something, but I think the rush of likes and responses is too much of a drug for me and takes up too much thoughtspace when I don't get the warm reception I want lol, it's a me problem, but still, prolly better for everyone to just concentrate on the big projects, so when I'm not busy with real life, I can deliver that instead of weird inside jokes or paragraph long theories and rants in the posts of other people (those who didn't mind that - apreciate you, real MVP's) So yeah, think I went on long enough, so yeah it is what it is, we'll see, hopefully I can make some progress on the iceberg again and actually get back on the chapters for SE Post too, kinda don't wanna abandon it for this long and I got a lot of things I wanna finally put to paper, just gotta work out logistic in every sense of the world (like real life shit but also story planning, cause I have all the events, but not sure how to put them in a timeline so there are no plotholes or weird pacing, but I'll figure it out) But as allways, if I fuck up everything again, or you don't really care and wonder why I'm writting as if anybody did: Yeah...Sorry

#soul eater #amv #edit #lil ugly mane #twistin'#denzel curry #twistin #twisting #lean #old school #mista thug isolation #soul eater iceberg #update #melodrama #idk #yeah sorry #it is what it is #Youtube

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idontwanttospoiltheparty · 4 months

Note

Re: your post about JohnandPaul. If you do wish to share them, I'd love to know your headcanons about John and Paul's feelings for each other. ( I do get your discomfort about sharing though and yeah, I also miss the long discussions and metas from back when Get Back came out. It feels like, except you and some others, most of my favorite blogs have moved on from the fandom)

I've been sitting on this ask for several days now.

First of all I hear you, re:blogs moving on. It's understandable, but it's also sad when my brain does not want to give this stuff up any time soon lol.

In my post I talked about having specific headcanons about their feelings for each other, but the truth is, it's more like I imagine hundreds of very specific somewhat plausible scenarios, while not actually fully buying into any of them.

I always struggle with how sure people are of some definite timeline of McLennon because I just don't see how it's in any way clear: the most compelling evidence that at least John had Those Feelings™ for Paul is stuff he said after the fact (compiled with the stronger case for John being attracted to men in general) – so, if I choose to interpret his words in that way, I'm still not very close to knowing when he developed this attraction. Let alone concluding anything substantial about Paul's feelings.

(And no, I really don't find the two of them saying the other looked good when they met particularly compelling. Appearance plays a huge role in first impressions, regardless of attraction.)

So I guess, it's more that I have open questions I return to again and again, for which I try to construct hypothetical answers that make sense to me. Aside from that bigger timeline question, here's a few more specific ones:

From what I've gathered researching the topic, listening to psychonauts speak about their trips, the acid mindset very much romanticizes all forms of human connection (among other things). I think that's probably what was going on during those "I know."–"I know." sessions John and Paul had on LSD. With that in mind, how might that have mixed in with John trying to understand how he felt about Paul? Could it have confused him? Opened him up to the idea? "Appeased" him for a while? (and again, the answer here would depend on the timeline of feelings in the end)

I still lean towards "Paul is not meaningfully attracted to men" (or at least "Paul valued other aspects of his relationship with John much more than physical attraction") – with that in mind I do kind of ask myself what Paul thought his relationship with John was exactly. Like, I don't pretend it was a standard, run-of-the-mill friendship, so I wonder a lot what his end-goal was, how he saw both of them continuing into later stages of life. The way he talks about the breakup, equating John choosing Yoko with John leaving Paul, speaks to something somewhat true about most couples that marry – but why did he not anticipate that before? What was different? Also, for $20 don't copout with "hurr hurr cause Cyn didn't matter"

Paul's various takes on The John Question continue to puzzle me. On the one hand, it sort of seems to me like Paul would have had enough context clues at the time to get that John was attracted to men, because some of our evidence for it is evidence he would have had access to – he also indicated at least once that John was in fact kind of openly bicurious??? (note: that rant keeps me up at night. Could write a whole thesis on it and also it's so fucking funny) On the other, Paul is pretty insistent that the rumours are Not True and he's not actually the only person to shoot them down like that. (May Pang, Julia Baird, Tony Bramwell, Hunter Davies off the top of my head) It shouldn't be a stretch of the imagination that a man born in the 1940s might have trouble rearranging the image he's made of his dead best friend so drastically (or in a way that might feel drastic to him). So what is it? Is Paul obfuscating the question to protect John's reputation/because he thinks the curiosity is in poor taste or does he genuinely not buy into it? I'm not actually sure whether he's weighed in on this since Yoko's "John Was BI!!!!" reveal. Has this stance developed over the years? And if I assume Paul does know about John's sexuality: does he in fact think John had feelings for him? I do think this is a thing he would never talk about if he did so it feels like there would be no way of knowing either way. But it also makes me wonder about the barriers he might have set up in his head to avoid that very question – because the truth is that if John had Those Feelings™ for Paul and Paul never knew, that's sort of the second-worst case scenario from Paul's perspective, right after John having never liked him in the first place.

AND THEN THERE'S JOHN. Because just because Paul may not have picked up on it, doesn't mean John wasn't putting anything down. But he could also very much have been sending mixed signals from his own end, right? And again, acid mindset + mid 60s Free Love shit: in that culture, how much could John making advances be perhaps taken as Flowery Friendship? Did he justify it to himself that way? Or was John actually violently shoving all of that down? Was he truly capable of that?

It really never ends – I'm not certain of ANYTHING, but give me a proposal (ie. "In My Life is about Paul") and I'll talk myself into circles exploring the ins and outs of that hypothetical.

#ask #anon #jp speculation #my analysis #fiona.docx

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lordkingsmith · 2 months

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@whatwedointhecraft they’re immediately so banter-y lol

He sent the message asking about the state of the tree and how much it’d cost to get it to England, and left the laptop to get mail. When he came back, there was a reply.

lol a what now?

Embarrassingly he still didn’t notice the fact he wasn’t messaging Nathan and assumed he was tired due to time zone differences. So carefully copy and pasted the little ad and reiterated his message with more clarification.

Man I think you’re talking to the wrong person lol

Which actually made him look. And yes. He was. Neil Breaker. He didn’t even know who that was. He quickly looked at the man’s page and realized he was a teacher in Seattle. He was 40. And they’d friended each other months ago over the same PennyThought Arcade game, for extra perks. The travesty of not being able to will yourself into sinking through the floor whenever an embarrassment occurred. Chancy swallowed around it and went back to the DM’s.

-I am so very sorry. I didn’t realize I wasn’t messaging my friend. I apologize again, I just haven’t really been all here since my wife passed a few years ago

Why he put that he didn’t know. Impulsive, embarrassed, and wanting to make sure the other knew he was fully apologetic. He got to Nathan and left an a dm about the seedling, double and triple checking he had the right person this time.

Nah, I get it. Happens. Sorry bout your wife tho

You ok???

Was waiting for him from Neil and his heart did a double flip.

-I mean. I’m 55. I have a retirement I didn’t want, I’m a single parent of a daughter I did want, and I’m a widower. Financially I’m fine. Everything else is empty, I suppose. The one person I thought was going to be here to enjoy this with me isn’t. I barely talk to anyone in person much less anything physical. The only time I’m happy is when I’m with my daughter or when I’m in my garden.

He took a deep breath, hands lightly shaking as he finished writing. He hadn’t admitted any of this to anyone. And here he was, telling a perfect stranger he was horny and lonely and depressed. Too much information to just share on the internet as well, he knew.

Another long stretch of silence on Neil’s end and he took the time to wash dishes while waiting, anything to expend the jittery nervousness.

“C’mon Chance” he scolded himself as he angrily washed a bowl. “You’re not some seventeen year old about to cop a feel in the movies. You are fifty five years old. Act your age.” But this was the closest he’d gotten in years to. Well. Anything.

You realize you’re talking to a dude, right?

And an American

Christ on a pogo stick I’m across an ocean to you, my guy

<control=io>bot will explain function</control>

Chancy felt another embarrassed flush creeping down his neck. Alright, yes he probably did sound like a bot. He found, copied and sent the song “Guess What? I’m Not a Bot” by a singer his daughter loved. A few moments later he got the cry laughing emoji and smiled faintly.

Ok fair enough, I’m sorry. Can’t be too careful.

Look

My school’s just hit break. Not expected to do anything for the summer but do course planning. So I can. I dunno. Take a vacation

Why not

Chancy about choked.

-Really? You don’t have to

-I was just ranting

-But I wouldn’t say no

-You’d just…I can book you a hotel?

He ran his hands through his mildly curly brown hair, staring at the screen. He couldn’t believe he’d just typed this. Was entertaining this.

You wanna try something over video chat first or..?

-I’m not a robot

No no I get that. I mean sex, dude.

Or talking. Either works

Just so we know each other, you know?

And then yea, sure, after that I’m down for you booking me a hotel

Gimme a week tho

I gotta find a place to take my dogs while I’m over there

-you have dogs? I have a dog and a cat

-Rumor and Sneeze Master

I’m guessing Sneeze Master is the cat

-mhm lol

And now you’re talking like a person lol. I shoulda mentioned cats sooner

-it’s always cats, isn’t it?

Always

-If you’re in Seattle, you should perhaps go to bed

Man don’t tell me how to spend my vacation lol

-never!

-you’re just planning a sexual encounter and neither of us are exactly spring chickens lol

Man fuck you

-That’s the plan. Unless you want it the other way?

JFC

😂😂😂🥵🥵🥵

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loki-laufeyson223 · 1 month

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Comebacks

Warnings: Cursing, PTSD talk, kissing, Loki being like a sour patch kid lol (Sorry if I missed anything, this is my first time doing warnings and posting anything halfway decent. I swear it'll get better later on.)

Word Count: 1,092

I was sitting outside of my favorite cafe, just trying to unwind from the day when a man with raven colored hair and icy blue eyes walked up to my table. He just kinda stared at me for a minute before saying anything. I looked up at him with a clueless/ smart-ass look, he looked appalled at the action. “Don’t you know who I am?”, he asked. “Um no. Unless you’re some douche-bag recruiter trying to pull me back into the military. If that’s the case you can get the hell away from me.” “Uh no, I’m not trying to do whatever you just went on a whole ass rant about. You just seemed confused. Like everyone else on this damned planet.”, he said with a snark.

“Oh well sorry I wasn’t competent enough for your liking. I’ll definitely go home and cry about that later.” “Whoa, hey. Calm down. I didn’t mean to offend you.” “Well you sure as hell did. I’ve gotta go. Bye asshole!”,and with a smirk and a wave I started towards my car. That is until I stopped halfway through the parking lot by a large and slender hand on my shoulder. “Aren’t you curious to know who I am?” “No. Not really.” “Well then in that case, maybe I’ll just go right ahead and tell you. I’m Loki. Loki Laufeyson.” “Oh! I know who you are now!”, Loki smiled triumphantly at my words. “You’re that son of a bitch who tried to take over Earth and failed. Miserably.” “Excuse me! I am a god! Your words mean nothing to me, you fucking bastard!” “Judging by your reaction, I’d say my words meant quite a lot to you. Oh, no! Did I hurt the whittle god’s feelings?”

“How dare you insult me in such a way!?” “Because I don’t give a shit who you are. I’ve been through too much to say I cared even a little to be telling the truth. Hell, I’ve been hit with an IED and had my legs shattered and I have far more PTSD than the average person can handle without committing suicide. It wouldn’t be too much of a burden if you killed me out of rage, I don’t even want to be here. I’m just holding on because there isn’t anyone who cares enough to put my body in the ground.” I said laughing sarcastically.

For the first time, Loki’s eyes had softened at my words and as I continued on my rant, tears began spilling from my eyes and I couldn’t hold them back. “Hey, I’m sorry I got you so riled up and upset. That wasn’t my intention, not at all. If anything I know how it feels, not wanting to be here, I mean.” “Thanks and it’s fine.” “Would you like to continue this conversation elsewhere?”

“Oh well my place is a complete mess and I’d be ashamed if anyone ever walked in. Hell, I’m ashamed of myself just seeing it the way it is.” “How about this, we go to your place and before I walk in I will surprise you with something to make up for me insisting on going there in the first place?” “That sounds good, I guess.” We get in my car and head to my apartment. When we arrive we walk up the stairs and I go to open the door before I’m stopped. “Not just yet darling.”, and with a carefully calculated flick of his wrists he opened the door to a completely clean and organized home. “Oh my God! Thank you so much!”, I beam up at him. “No problem darling. It’s never a burden to help out the one I’m most interested in.

After a few weeks of having Loki over so we can talk to each other about what has happened to ourselves and just unpack all the emotional and mental baggage I can, we have our first “night together” and soon after I’m in an official relationship with the God of Mischief.

3 Years Later

Loki tells me to put on my favorite dress because we were going out and I happily agreed, excited for this time out with my boyfriend because he hasn't been home a lot here recently. He has been sneaking around and I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to confront him. I was searching for my gold heels when Loki walked in, “Darling, are you ready yet?”

“Um not just yet. I can’t see, to find those gold heels Frigga gave me.” “Oh well in that case let me just…”, he flicks his wrist and the shoes appear on the bed. “Thanks babe.”, I say sitting down to put on the shoes. After I grab my bag we head out the door and get in the car. We drove for about ten minutes and pulled up at the restaurant where we had our first date. It’s our favorite because there is a garden to walk through and at the end of the walk there is a bench under an arch made of roses with fairy lights strung throughout.

After we finish our dinner Loki suggests we go on a walk through the garden. When we make it to the end we sit down on the bench. I got to confront him about all the sneaking around when he cuts me off with a kiss. When he pulls away he drops to one knee with me still on the bench.

Tears immediately come to my eyes as he begins his speech. “Persephone I have loved you since the day I first saw you. Your smile and laugh are infectious and beautiful. I only wish to make you smile and laugh for the rest of time. Which brings me to the million dollar question. Persephone, will you marry me?”, tears were running down both of our faces, Loki looked at me, hope filling his eyes awaiting my answer. “Yes” I choke out.

“A million times yes.”, he stands up, pulling me with him then pulling me into a tight hug. I look up at him and he grabs my thighs and lifts me up, wrapping my arms around his neck he pulls me into a loving and tender yet rough kiss. He pulls away resting his forehead on mine, our noses brushing against each other. “I love you so much Persephone. I can’t wait for you to become my wife and take my name.” “I love you too Mischief. I absolutely cannot wait for us to be Mr. and Mrs. Laufeyson.”

#loki x reader #loki laufeyson #Loki fluff #loki fanfiction #loki fic #loki fanfic

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shootingstarrfish · 3 months

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Funny thing, I got into Obey Me years ago because at the time I couldn’t get Mystic Messenger. Upon seeing if there was anything similar, I stumbled upon it and my life was literally changed forever.

My favorite is Luci but it did not start out like that, I actually thought I’d get with Asmo! I’m not usually into flirty characters but I was really into him for some reason. At the same time, my affection for Luci was growing very gradually.

He intrigued me when I first started but Asmo took the spotlight so I didn’t pursue him too much other than that initial “he’s pretty.” I think it first started with when we get transported into Levi’s game and we catch him skipping on the roof, I found that contrast from his usual demeanor interesting I guess. Again though, my love for him grew very gradually and it’s been a hot minute since I’ve read S1 of OG OM! so I don’t remember when I really said “Yeah, I want him” but by the time he asks MC who they are interested in (when everyone goes “missing”), I clicked him right away.

He’s so interesting. He’s (obviously) very prideful but not in a “Ohoho! I am so above you! Watch me do everything better than you!” way a lot of prideful characters are portrayed but more in a “I know I am better than you, I don’t have anything to prove.” And it’s not like he’s all bark, like, he actually is powerful and stuff. But it’s also a mask he uses to make sure no one worries about him or think he’s weak to take advantage of him. He doesn’t show his moments of weakness because he’s too prideful until MC, where he feels comfortable enough to let those walls down.

I love this man a lot! I love the subtle way he takes care of his siblings and how, despite all their complaints, they all understand. I love how he can be very flirty but also very soft with MC. I love how protective he is of those he cares about and the lengths he’s go through for them. I love this old man and am forcing him to go to bed.

Anyway that’s my rant/lowkey character analysis lol he’s a very big comfort character for me

omg i think its SO funny that i started off basically the opposite of you. i saw lucifer at the start and i was like WOAH HE'S PRETTY,,, WHO IS HE 👀👀 and didn't pay much attention to asmo initially

hes absolutely such an interesting character to dive into, i love all the subtleties in his character and the things that only peek through after you've known him for a while and the way he's totally not as sophisticated as you might first think

thank you for sharing your luci thoughts with me!! reading this made me very happy haha <3333 please make him get some sleep he needs it badly...

#ask box #obey me #lucifer #om! lucifer

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