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princecharmingmendes · 4 years

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Best Friend's Brother | Raul Mendes

Growing up with your best friend is amazing, having this loving and caring relationship is fantastic, planning your lives together seemed natural, what Y/N didn’t include in her plans was falling in love with Raul Mendes, Peter’s brother.

Hi hi, lovies! I know, I know, I disappeared, but I’m back with a Raul piece! It’s been ages since the last time I posted something and I missed it so much! I had a really hard time writing for the past few weeks and I’m really happy that I was finally able to finish it. So I’m so sorry it took me way too long and thank you so much for being so patient, really 💘 I’ll stop rambling now! I hope you enjoy it!

*Word Count: 8.5k+

*Warnings: a few curse words, drinking, injure (sprained ankle in case this triggering), and I guess that’s it!

*Posted: October 5th, 2020.

-*-

You could say Y/N was in trouble.

Growing up with someone right beside you will always create that invisible string that’ll keep you two together for, what some say, the rest of your life. It forms a bond so strong you can tell what they’re feeling just by a single look in their eyes and you just know exactly what to do. And if life allows you, you’ll keep them around for a long time and have them around you for every occasion, being it good or bad, but always near you to support you. And thankfully, that were the triplets for her. She met them in High School, Shawn was obsessed with music, Peter was the cute nerd that took amazing pictures and Raul was the typical bad boy and Y/N was a sweet and quiet bookworm. They met when she was asked to tutor Raul and he ended up asking her to meet him at his place, and that’s how she ended up with three best friends and a crush.

She was a bit closer to Peter since they had similar interests in general and also had similar plans on Friday nights, and they’re basically glued to the hip and everyone outside from their little bubble were one hundred percent sure they’re together somehow. And the fact that the three of them (Shawn was too busy touring the world) went to the same college didn’t exactly helped with the rumors. But in reality, the triplet that makes her heart skip a bit, her stomach to do flips and her breath to get caught on her throat was Raul. And if she was honest, how could someone honestly resist him? Girls who didn’t even know him normally wanted him, and Y/N knew him like the back of her hand and knew that behind the bad boy exterior there was the softest and biggest heart on the planet, was almost impossible to resist.

And even though she had all this feelings and felt all warm inside when he playfully winked at her, she never acted on them. Peter obviously knew about it, but she never told anyone else. Hell, she didn’t even tell him, he somehow managed to notice it.

Peter tried encouraging her to talk to him about it or do something about the whole thing, mostly because he was tired of seeing her suffering every single time she saw him with another girl, which wasn’t very uncommon. But she never did. Y/N doesn’t like comparing girls, that’s just mean, because everyone is different, and just because you don’t look like someone doesn’t mean you’re not enough or good at all, just makes you unique, but she can’t help thinking she’s not his ‘type’. Not that she noticed he has a specific body type or something, she’s just not the kind of person who would catch his eye.

It’s just he literally models on the side, goes to med school and has amazing grades, while still going on parties, having hook ups and living his best life while getting tattoos and having fun. While Y/N likes to light up a candle and read a good book on her couch, maybe with Peter while they eat some pizza and discuss from the latest thing that happened on campus to the theory of wormholes. They are close, they are friends, but they are polar opposites.

And the worst part? He acts as if she was the reason the sun rose every single day and treats her as if she’s the reason he’s capable of breathing, but in a “you’re my best friend and I love you like you are family” type of thing, not in a “I am hopelessly in love with you”. He was very touchy and big on pet names, specially when Peter went to sleep and it was just the two of them watching stuff on his living room, but never did anything to lead her into thinking he likes her more than a friend. It’s all her fault for looking too much into it and having her heart broken whenever he had a girl over when she was there (which wasn’t that common since he wasn’t big into having a serious relationship, at least not enough to bring someone to their flat) or when she saw him all heart eyes or making out with someone.

Y/N swears she tried burying those feelings down, even going as far as hanging out less with him and avoiding going to his place, taking way too long to reply to his texts and dodging him everywhere she could like the plague. He wasn’t having it, so he randomly showed up at her dorm room at midnight, looking like an abandoned puppy and begging her to forgive him for whatever he had done that upset her so badly. And that’s when she decided that maybe that wasn’t her greatest idea. That maybe all she needed to do was just to forget those stupid feelings and butterflies that felt like ripping out of her body whenever he smiled at her. Well, that didn’t work either. So, to sum it all up, Y/N was in trouble.

In a big, big, gigantic trouble.

-*-

So it was a Friday night when Peter called her to crash at his place so they could watch the last season of How to Get Away with Murder while he worked on a project for his class or something like that, and she agreed almost immediately, it’s not like she planned on doing much better. Y/N gathered what she considered to be important in a few seconds cause he told her he was going to pick her up since he was still on campus and ran to the entrance of her building, already seeing his car parked outside. The ride to his place was quiet and consisted on them basically talking about what theories they had for the end of the season since they met for lunch.

“I don’t think Raul’s home yet, his bike wasn’t on his usual parking space” Peter hummed as he opened the door to his apartment.

“Yeah, I didn’t see it either” was all she could answer. And Y/N didn’t know how to feel about it, it’s been a week since she had the chance to talk to him and she missed it, but at the same time, she wasn’t going to end up a blushing mess around his natural flirty persona.

“Let me just grab my camera and computer, you can drop your stuff on the guest room if you want”

“Okay, don’t start the show without me” she said before starting to walk away and all she could hear was a ‘don’t take too long then’ Peter muttered under his breath.

She giggled to herself from his silliness as she placed her backpack on the bed and took off her shoes, getting rid of her jacket and pulling her hair in a loose ponytail, only grabbing her phone as she got back to meet Peter on the living room, already on the couch with his stuff around him as he let out a frustrated groan.

“What’s wrong, grumpy?”

“Raul’s an idiot, he took the remote to his room since he stepped on his or something like that and he’s too lazy to get his fixed or return the other one to its place”

“But is it in his room?”

“Probably, could you please grab it for me?”

“Wouldn’t he get mad I got into his room without him being around?”

“Oh please, Y/N, Raul mad at you? He’d probably get mad at me for making you go in there to grab it for us”

“It’s not like that”

“Of course it is, Raul could never even look at you slightly pissed, and even if he did, he’d feel guilty”

“If he gets mad I’ll tell him it was your fault”

“He won’t, honey, he’s not even home yet”

“Fine” she ended up giving up, arguing with Peter was always pointless.

So Y/N turned around and headed for Raul’s room, knocking tentatively and without response, she just got in and tried to find the control without looking at his stuff for too long, she didn’t want to be nosy. Since she was busy with the task of finding it, she didn’t notice the soft sounds coming from the bathroom or the gentle click of the door when someone opened it. Her attention was finally brought the other side of the room, when she hear someone clearing their throat. Her eyes widened as she looked up only to find Raul standing across from her, with his hair damp and naked apart from the fluffy towel hanging low on his hips.

He had a little smirk on his lips and a funny expression, but that didn’t stop from almost giving Y/N a heart attack. She started mumbling a string of apologies as she covered eyes with both hands, walking backward until she hit her head on a shelf and tripped over something, falling right on her butt.

“Ouch!” she said reaching one of her hands on the back of her head to try and relive some of the throbbing, still covering her eyes “I’m so so so incredibly sorry, I didn’t mean to simply walk in here, but we thought you weren’t home, and I knocked, and Peter told me to come in here to grab the remote, and said you wouldn’t mind, and...”

“Hey, no, it’s okay” Raul said hurriedly, walking towards her a crouching down in front of her, lightly wrapping his fingers around her wrists “Y/N, it’s okay, look at me, love”

And with the gentle tug on her hands she decided to let go, opening her eyes to be met with his honey orbs “I’m so so sorry, I really didn’t mean to invade your privacy, if I knew you’d be here I wouldn’t- I would never come in, please don’t be mad at me, please”

“Oh, sweetheart, there’s no reason for you to apologize, really, I’m not even naked, or completely naked at least, and even if I was? wouldn’t have minded, yeah?” Raul said gently cupping her face “and I’m not mad at you, how could I ever be mad at you? You’re the sweetest person I know and you didn’t do anything wrong”

“I’m sorry” Y/N mumbled softly and he just chuckled, leaning in and pressing a kiss at the top of her head.

“It’s okay, are you staying the night?”

She nodded “we’re having a marathon, we’re rewatching How to Get Away with Murder”

“Oh, do you mind if I join?”

“You’re not busy?”

“Not at all, but it’s okay if you want to watch just the two of you”

“No, of course not, you can join us if you want”

“Are you ordering food or do you want me to make us something?”

“We didn’t order anything, and I don’t want to bother you with cooking”

“I’d gladly do it, I can make us something quick so it won’t get in the middle of your shows

“I really don��t want to bother you, Raul”

“It’s not a bother, come on, the remote is over there, I’ll change real quick and make us something to eat, and you two can start the show, I’ll meet you guys in the middle, yeah? Sounds good?”

“Sounds amazing”

“Now go, you pervert, I need to change” he said trying to hold back a laugh.

“Oh, sure” she mumbled as she scrambled to get back at her feet.

“Or you can just stay and enjoy the show" Raul threw a wink at her direction as she was already by the door.

Y/N only closed his door a bit harsher than she should, feeling her whole body heating up, she just couldn’t decide if it was of embarrassment or... something else. She shook her head to get rid of the dirty thoughts about her best friend’s brother out of her head and got back to Peter at the leaving room. Seeing he was sitting at the armchair, with all of his stuff around him for him to work comfortably, leaving her the loveseat.

“Oh hey, is Raul at home?!”

“Yeah, he was at the shower, so thank you for putting me in that position”

“Was he mad at you?”

“No”

“Told ya, got the remote?”

“Yeah, by the way, he’s going to make us dinner and join us later”

“Oh, thought he was going out tonight” Peter said opening his computer “do you want to arrange the show?”

“Don’t you think we should wait for him?”

“Nah, don’t think so”

“Wait for who?” Raul asked coming out of the hallway wearing a pair of sweatpants and thin white T-shirt.

“You, to start the show” Peter answered without looking up from the screen.

“Oh no, go ahead, I’ll make us some food and I’ll bring you guys some, okay?”

“Do you need help?”

“No, it’s okay, sweetheart, it’ll be pretty basic”

Y/N hummed in response as she started the first episode and things were as normal as every Friday she spent watching anything with Peter. Only this time, he was a bit less focused on the show and more on his work, but still was able to make comments about the all the scenes. They would both laugh and joke around a lot more than actually watch anything, specially since this wasn’t the first time they watched this. Almost at the end of the first episode, Raul showed up with plates of a very appetizing looking pasta, placing one in front of Peter and one on Y/N’s lap. He went back into the kitchen and coming back with his own, plopping down beside Y/N.

“This is the first, right?”

“Yeah, the end of it”

“Oh, it’s been a while since the last time I watched it, I don’t think I’ve ever finished it”

“Really?”

“I kind of forgot it, I was watching another one at the time, but I remember liking it a lot”

“Well it’s a great thing we decided to follow the episodes and not just jump into our favorites, and by the way, this is amazing”

“Oh, thanks, it’s really simple actually”

“Don’t even start, you always make the most basic stuff like grilled cheese taste like gourmet food”

“He just likes to be praised” Peter said with a chuckle.

“Fuck off, Peter” Raul chuckled and before he could throw a pillow at him, Y/N grabbed his wrist “hey!”

“His camera is there”

“Oh”

“Thanks, Y/N, but this pasta is actually amazing, I have to give you that”

“Was that too hard?” Raul asked and Peter just shrugged with a laugh.

“Maybe we should focus on the show” Y/N said pressing the next episode before they both decided to start something.

Peter got up after they finished dinner to place everyone’s dishes in the sink, going back to his place and work silently. As they watched the episodes, Peter was getting silent as he focused more on his work and Raul was the one commenting on the episodes and talking to Y/N. Which she didn’t mind at all. He was always pretty funny and manage to make her laugh at the silliest jokes.

Maybe that’s the reason so many people were attracted to him. He had a mysterious vibe going on, since he was pretty close with people in general, but could be a sweetheart with the close ones, he had the looks that had everyone’s head turning, he was funny and intelligent. He’s just so good and she hates to admit that even her fell for his charming smile and golden heart. And when he leaned a bit closer to her as the episodes went by, she hated to admit that her body felt a bit warmer and she was itching to lean into him as well. But what made it worse was him laying his head on her lap as he wrapped himself in a throw blanket, giving her a sheepish smile and turning back to the TV. That had her fingers practically moving to its own accord to tangle on his curls, and she couldn’t help but brush them out of his face. And just as she was about to mumble an apology, he let out a content sigh and leaned into her hand.

After a few moments Peter looked up at them and just chuckled softly, and as Y/N looked up at him he just shook his head and pointed towards Raul “He fell asleep with you playing with his hair, just like a puppy”

“Do you think he’ll mind when he wakes up?” she said barely above a whisper.

“Not at all, he loves you, he can never be upset with you”

“That’s not true”

“It is, ask Shawn or Aaliyah, they’ll agree, he’s got a soft spot only for you”

“Shut it, Peter, we’ve known each other for years, he’s just nice because I’m your best friend”

“That’s not true, but I’ll drop it, I think I might go to bed now”

“Okay, I think I’m going to finish this episode”

“You know you can wake him up, right?”

“I know, I just don’t know if I feel like doing it”

“I can do it for you” Peter offered as he gathered his stuff.

“No, it’s okay, I’m going to finish this episode first”

“Do you want me to roll out the sofa and make it more comfortable for you? You don’t have to move”

“Yes please”

“Okay” he answered as he leaned down to extend the couch into a kind of makeshift bed as carefully as he could to not disturb his brother “call me if you need anything”

“Okay, thanks, Peter” she said smiling at him as he shook his head and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead.

“Goodnight, dummy”

“Night, Peter”

He grabbed his stuff and threw one last look at her direction, but she was far too distracted with Raul’s curls to have noticed, and he caught a glimpse of his brother slowly opening his eyes, only to close them again and nuzzle closer to Y/N. Peter hold back a laugh as he went back to his room, he would never figure out how the most brilliant people he knew could be so oblivious.

-*-

Y/N didn’t intend to fall asleep, but the warmth radiating from his body, the soft light coming from the TV and the soft cushions lulled her to sleep without her even noticing. She only noticed she fell asleep when she woke up to rushed whispers in the living room and the soft click of the front door closing.

She was a bit confused, but the strong Raul’s strong scent and the comfortable position she was currently at made it hard for her to come back into consciousness. But as soon as she opened her eyes, Y/N noticed she had her face nuzzled into Raul’s neck, with her body partially on top of him and cuddled close with his arm around her waist. Her immediate thought was to pretend to be asleep so she could come up with a better plan of getting rid of the embarrassment. But before she could do anything, she heard Raul’s warm chuckle.

“Morning, sweetheart” he said combing his fingers through her hair gently, almost making her melt back into his chest.

“Hi” she said sitting up and knuckling at his eyes softly “I didn’t even notice when I fell asleep”

“Me neither, I was completely drained”

“I’m sorry for -you know, being on top of you”

“Oh, it’s okay, I woke up in the middle of the night and I didn’t feel like waking you up, cause you seemed so peaceful, so I just rearranged us, and I guess we ended up cuddled”

“Yeah” Y/N said brushing her hair out of her face.

“You know I don’t mind, right?”

“Mind what?”

Raul gave her a knowing look and she could feel her face beating up “It happens, sweetheart, and there’s no reason to be ashamed, I slept like a baby with you”

“Oh, I slept well too, is Peter gone already?”

“Yeah, he said something about having to buy something for his camera or something like it”

“He saw us?”

“You make it seem like we were doing something so scandalous, he found it cute actually” he said with a chuckle.

“Oh, okay”

Raul gently grabbed her hand and placed a kiss at the back of it “Relax, darling, hungry?”

“A bit, yeah”

“Want to go and grab breakfast? I can drop you home after if you want”

“That’d be amazing, but only if you’re available”

“Of course I am, I always have time for you, now let’s go, I’m starving”

“Already?”

“I’ve been waiting for you to wake up for a while now”

“Why?!”

“Didn’t want to disturb you, you needed to rest, sweetheart”

“You’re too sweet”

“Only for you” he said throwing a little wink on her direction.

He had no idea how much that affected her.

-*-

Aaliyah’s birthday was always an amazing event. The triplets always committed to provide her the best birthday they could every single year and they never let her down. It has always been like this since the triplets parties were always nice for the three boys, they felt like they needed to give her the best time possible. She was their little baby after all.

This year was no different.

Her seventeenth birthday party was beautiful and she was literally gleaming, surrounded by her closest friends and family. Raul had a tough week and was feeling a bit off for a few days, there were many reasons to it but he could never ruin his sister’s birthday, so he put on his best smile and went smoothly along with his siblings. He tried his best having fun and forgetting about everything else, but he about half an hour into the party he sat down by the bar and decided just to sit there and drink until he felt lightheaded. Raul just sat there and watched everyone, sometimes having a small talk with anyone who sat down beside him, but mostly, his gaze was constantly searching for Y/N. He didn’t mean to act like a thirteen year old boy with a school crush, he didn’t even mean to keep on searching for her, but she looked so damn adorable he couldn’t help it. She was wearing a beautiful summer dress, in a peachy color that accentuated her gorgeous curves and of a silky kind of material, urging him to run his hands through it. But he knew better, he knew her since they’re kids and he knew he wasn’t what she needed or wanted, or at least, that’s what seemed. So he just stood there, watching from a safe distance and from time to time, but as soon as he started feeling tipsier than he desired, he decided to move away from the bar and take a breath of fresh air.

As soon as he got in the balcony, he let out a sigh of relief as he noticed no one was around, so he would have a least a little bit of peace. He placed both of his hands on the stone railing, feeling his footing not the most balanced one, maybe he had too many drinks for the night and maybe he should go back and grab a bottle of water and something to eat. But before he could actually really think about it, Raul heard a pair of heels clicking behind him, and since no one called him or made a noise to call his attention he just ignored. He felt the person coming closer and he saw on his peripheral the same coloured dress he’d been staring all night. As he turned his face slightly on the person’s direction, he saw Y/N standing beside him, mimicking his position and looking down at the city. Neither of them felt like breaking the silence, so they just enjoyed each other’s company in a comfortable silence. At least until he saw her body shivering from the colder temperature it was outside, which led him to taking out his leather jacket for her and handing it to her.

“It’s okay, I don’t want you to be cold” Y/N mumbled as if not to disturb the peaceful environment.

“I’m okay, sweetheart, but you’re visibly cold”

“Thank you” she said giving him a soft smile that made his whole body warm up as she put on his jacket, wrapping her arms around her own body “but let me know if you need it back”

Raul chuckled “Fine”

“So… Are you going to pretend everything’s okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Raul, I’ve known you all my life, you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, you just don’t have to act as if you’re fine around me”

“It’s silly and nothing to worry about, really, you should go and enjoy the party”

“I’m okay here, actually, ’m a bit tired”

“Oh” he said with a nod and looked forward at nothing in particular.

“And I also didn’t want to leave you all alone, and I want you to know that I’m here in case you want to talk”

“Thank you” he said turning to face her and she looked up at him ‘’you’re beautiful, but tonight you look just perfect”

“Oh, thanks” Y/N brushed the hair out of her face “you look gorgeous, as always”

“Yeah, I do, right?” he joked as she giggled, making a smirk appear on his lips.

“Yeah, right” she said looking down at the city.

Raul spoke up after a few moments of silence, regretting almost immediately “I saw you with Mike yesterday”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, you’re leaving the movies at the mall, Peter asked me to buy his new lens and I saw the both of you, was it nice?”

“What?”

“The date”

“Oh, no, it wasn’t like that, he’s actually into Jeff and we go to the same classes since I got in college, he needed to vent and to get distracted, so we went to see a movie”

“Sorry, I had no idea”

“No need to apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong”

And back to the silence. Raul was embarrassed for bringing it up and relieved in a very selfish way she wasn’t going out with him. And he was also afraid he was going to blurt another inappropriate question or comment, the alcohol normally tended to make him lose his filter.

“Was it a shitty week?”

“Huh?” Raul hummed looking back at her.

“Was it a shitty week? That left you like this”

“Yeah, I guess you can say that”

“Is it about the girl you were seeing?”

“Anna? No, we’re not going out anymore, I haven’t even seen her in a while” He answered taking a deep breath “It’s just, sometimes I wish I had someone that understood me, that was there for me, that cared about me besides my family, I don’t know, and I had so much work to do this week was insane, I’m sorry for rambling, I’m just- I don’t even know, I’m sorry”

“Hey, it’s okay, you can ramble as much as you want, sometimes it gets hard, and you should know by now that I’m here for you and that I care for you, yeah?” Y/N said reaching for his hand and squeezing it lightly and he nodded, pulling her into a hug.

“Thank you” he mumbled against her hair as she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“Now come on, let’s sober you up a bit for the cake, okay?” she said placing her chin on his sternum to look up at him and he nodded chuckling lightly.

“Whatever you want, sweetheart”

“Don’t give me this amount of power, Raul, I might regret it”

“Would never regret it, ’sides, I’m already yours for you to do whatever you want” he said and her heart did a flip, but she only giggled.

“Oh, darling, you have no idea of the mistake you just made” she said grabbing his hand as he slotted their fingers together, letting her drag him back inside.

And to be honest? The party was much better after she showed up to talk to him, specially since she was practically glued to his side making sure he was having a good time.

-*-

To say Y/N and Raul got closer was an understatement. Since his sister’s birthday, they were hanging out pretty much every single day they could, Peter was involved almost all of the time, but something that didn’t happen before was only Y/N and Raul going out alone just for the sake of hanging out. And even though it was completely new, it felt completely natural as if they’re the closest for years. So, for the past month she felt really connected to him and she also felt her crush multiplying like crazy, which could end up pretty bad, but she couldn’t stop herself from being closer and wanting to be around him. And when Shawn called Raul on FaceTime one night and who picked up was Y/N he was delighted. He was coming home on the next weekend and he suggested they went camping, like they did when they’re younger, renting cabins, bonfire, guitar and marshmallows type of thing.

And of course the triples were instantly excited and planning everything and Y/N was included on the camping trip from the moment she picked up the phone, her wanting or not. Not that she was opposed.

So they rented the cabins, one for Peter and Y/N, one for Shawn, Brian and Raul, and one for Mark, one of the guys’ friend and his girlfriend. Raul took her to the market the night before of the trip to buy supplies and food (mostly snacks, but Raul insisted on buying at least some stuff to make a real meal).ul insisted on buying at least a few things to make a real meal for them “we can’t survive two days with cookies and marshmallows, baby”). He even went to her place to help her pack and offered her to stay the night and his flat with Peter so she could sleep a bit more before they hit the road the next day. She couldn’t deny, specially when Peter was complaining Raul was stealing her from him and that he missed her, and since Raul was pouting and begging while using the silliest pet names he could come up with, and he was pretty creative.

When the time to wake up and get ready to leave, she was awaken by rowdy boys on the hallway, clearly too excited to go camping, just like children as they practically bounced on their feet. The ride was pretty nice, she even took a nap on Shawn’s shoulder as Raul and Peter listened to something on the radio softly and chattered about random stuff. Arriving there brought back that nostalgic feeling of when they’re young and came here twice a month on summer days. They quickly dropped their bags on their respective cabins and went out the explore, going to the lake until it was lunchtime and everyone was starving.

After resting a bit, they decided to go on a hike up the hill to watch the sunset from the top of it. Which was clearly filled with jokes, laughs and a bunch of random pranks they pulled off. If anyone was to tell their age, they’d never say anything over 15 years old. Sarah, the only girl on the group apart from Y/N was pretty nice and was walking side by side with her, laughing at the boys and just talking about everything when Raul came back, face flushed from laughing too hard and grabbing Y/N’s hand.

“I was informed your boyfriend misses you and I’m here to keep miss Y/N company”

“Very well then” she said giggling and throwing Y/N a knowing look and a little wink, walking a bit faster to reach John.

“What?” Y/N asked as she heard Raul laughing “what did you do?”

“Hey! I didn’t do anything”

“Oh really?”

“I did not! Brian did though”

“Oh God, what is it then?”

“He might’ve pushed John into the mud” Raul said sheepishly and Y/N laughed.

“And why do you seem so guilty?”

“Cause I was the one who saw it”

“Of course you did” she said slightly bumping her shoulder into him.

“I wasn’t the one who pushed him though”

“That’s true, but doesn’t make you completely innocent”

“It’s not my fault I pay attention to stuff”

“No, but it is your fault telling Brian you saw it”

“You got me there” he said bumping her shoulder back as he chuckled and she laughed shaking her head.

“Hey, lovebirds, come on, it’s almost staring!” Shawn shouted a few feet away already at the top.

Y/N felt her cheeks heating up and Raul just laughed, walking to where everyone was already waiting for the sunset.

They sat down to watch the process, and since they’re both the last ones to reach the top, they sat down in the end of the semicircle they formed. Y/N leaned her head on his shoulder and he did the same, laying his head on top of hers as they chattered watching the sun to set on the horizon. Y/N’s heart felt a bit warmer being so close to Raul and having such a beautiful view. He grabbed one of her hands and placed it on his lap, carefully playing with her fingers and tracing random patterns at the back of her hand.

“Maybe we should go back before if gets too dark” Peter suggested as everyone got up and grabbed their stuff.

On the way back the guys were trying to make it as an obstacle course, always making fun of every situation as Y/N and Sarah laughed leading the way. At least until Brian called out Y/N when she started roaring with laughter as he fell face first on the mud.

“That’s what I call Karma”

“It’s easy to laugh and not do anything princess, bet I can get to the cabin before you do”

“Well, I was on the tracking team”

“Well, I’m better than you”

“First one to get there is free from all the chores?”

“Deal” Brian said “on three, who’s counting?”

“I am!” John chirped in.

“This is not the greatest ide-” Peter was cut off by John”

“3... 2... 1 and GO!”

That was all it took for both of them to start running down the hill as they laughed, the others hurrying their steps to follow them. The cabins weren’t that far and as soon as Y/N got there, she tripped in one of the firewoods the guys placed there sooner, falling down and feeling the pain crawling up her leg in a burning sensation.

“Fuck, Y/N!” Brian was the first to arrive, kneeling down beside her “are you okay?! Are you hurt?! What the hell?! Who let this shit in here?!”

“It’s okay, I-“ her words got caught in her throat as she tried to move her feet to get up, feeling her eyes welling up with tears from the burning sensation.

“Y/N!” Raul shouted rushing towards her, flopping down beside her “what happened?”

“She tripped on the damn firewood someone left here early”

“It’s not their fault” she let out with her voice a bit strained.

“It doesn’t matter right now, what’s hurting, baby?”

“My foot”

“Which one?”

“Left”

“Can I see it?” he asked and she just nodded, knowing that if she spoke another word her voice would break and she would start crying for real.

“Holy shit, what’s going on?” Shawn was the first to ask.

“She tripped and now she’s hurt”

“Do you need me to get you something?!” Peter was the first to offer.

“Yeah, I brought an aid kit in case something happened, it’s in the car, also, grab me a bottle of water” Raul said almost robotically as he carefully worked on taking her shoe off “it’s swelling, it looks like a sprained ankle, but it doesn’t seem like you feared any ligaments for now”

“Should we go back?” Shawn asked.

“No! Please don’t!” Y/N barely chocked out as Raul looked up at her and she focused on looking at him because it was calming her a bit “I don’t want you guys to miss all the fun due to my clumsiness”

“Honey, we don’t mind, we ca-”

“Please, Shawn, I- no, okay? I want to stay, and it’s dangerous to drive at night” Y/N cut him off, still looking directly at Raul.

“Here!” Peter said coming back with a bag.

“Thanks, I don’t think it’s too bad” Raul finally said “I’ll keep on checking it through the night, if the swelling gets too bad or if there are any signs that she might have tore or stretched a ligament I’ll take her back, is that okay?” he asked and she just nodded, looking down at her lap.

“You should stay with her tonight, I can spend the night with Shawn and Brian if she doesn’t mind” Peter offered.

“I’d appreciate it, do you mind, Y/N?” Raul asked and she nodded “okay, I’ll take her to her cabin so we can have a better look at it and shower, can you guys take care of the bonfire?”

“Sure, do whatever you need to” John said.

“Okay, can I pick you up, sweetheart?” and again she just nodded, so he picked her from the ground bridal style and carried her back to (now) their cabin.

“I’m okay, you don’t have to do this”

“Of course I do, and it’s okay, we need to put some ice on it, where do you want to sit?”

“Not on the bed, I’m probably too dirty to sit there”

“Okay” he replied placing her down on an armchair, with her feet up “wait just a sec” he said before going through the mini fridge to retrieve an icepack “here”

“Thank you”

“It’s okay, sweetheart” Raul said kneeling down beside her on the floor “is it hurting?”

“A bit, it was worse before”

“Okay, good, you can’t put much weight on it, yeah? Or it’ll only get worse” Raul softly grabbed her hand, lightly thumbing at her knuckles “if you need anything, just let me know and I’ll do it for you, yeah?”

“You don’t have to do this, I don’t want to bother you”

“You won’t, don’t worry about it”

“Raul, you’re literally going to have to babysit me, I’m ruining your weekend”

“You’re not ruining my weekend”

“Of course I am, this is what you do every single day, you’re supposed to be free to relax and not take care of people all the time”

“This is different, this is you we’re talking about and I really don’t mind spoiling you and caring you around the whole campsite if it need be, besides, I like doing what I do, so it’s no bother at all, you’re not ruining everything, now try to relax a bit, you don’t need sore muscles to appear too”

“Okay” Y/N squeezed his hand lightly.

“Good, I’m going to grab my stuff and hand Peter his, is it okay?”

“Yeah, sure”

“Be right back” he said placing a kiss to her forehead and leaving.

Y/N reached into her bag to grab a book to pass the time, Raul quickly came in and said we was going to shower so she would be free to do the same when the ice was done. She got so deep into reading it, that she barely noticed when he got out of the shower, only realized he was in the room when she her gentle humming to a song. Looking up from behind her book, only to find Raul with only a towel wrapped around his hips, looking through his duffle bag for something to wear. Y/N really tried to look away quickly, but maybe her brain was too clouded by him to actually make a quick move, and since he was literally standing in front of a mirror he caught her glimpsing at him, causing his famous smirk to appear on his lips as he got back into the bathroom to get dressed.

“Don’t” Y/N warned before he could even say a word when he came out with a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie.

“What?”

“Just don’t, I know you”

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to be shy, you can look, I don’t mind, I actually like it”

Y/N scoffed and threw the pillow that was behind her at him as he laughed “Fuck off, Raul”

“Okay, stinky lady, let’s get you to the bathroom, I got a little plastic chair for you to sit instead of being on your feet”

“Hey! I’m not stinky”

“Oh really? How can you be so sure?”

“Shut up, Raul, I hate you”

“Fine, then you won’t be taken to the bathroom”

“Okay, then I’ll walk!” Y/N said standing up and before she could put her feet to the floor, Raul was swiping her off her feet (quite literally) and she let out a squeak as he chuckled “put me down!”

‘’Nope, you can’t simply walk without a cast or something, so I’ll be your knight and shining armour”

“My saviour” she mumbled rolling her eyes and he laughed, pressing a kiss to her cheek and placing her seated on the little plastic chair for her shower.

“Okay, smelly girl, do you need help with anything?”

“I think I’m good, can you just grab me something to wear?”

“Sure, ma’am”

And with that he left, only to come back with a similar look to his and left her to shower. It wasn’t the easiest event of her life, but she managed it just fine, trying to get out to the door by jumping in only on foot, and as soon she opened the door to the bedroom, Raul was already there by her side with furrowed brows, hands on her waist to steady her and helping her to the bed as he informed her they had a bonfire ready and food as well outside. And they decided to grab some shoes and meet the rest of the group outside, Raul tried wrapping her foot the best he could to imobilize it with what he had there, and he did a pretty great job. So they sat down on the little wood kind of benches already on the ground with everyone, and they started talking about the most random stuff and Brian was trying to convince everyone to tell creepy stories like the movies, which quickly turned into a huge joke cause they couldn’t be serious for a long time. The environment was pretty light and filled with laughs as they ate the burgers Peter was making, Shawn even grabbed the guitar and played some songs, that were quickly ruined by everyone else shouting atop of his voice and messing up the lyrics. As they started to roas the marshmallows and calm down a bit, acting like civilized humans again, Y/N started to feel a bit sleepy.

She was wrapped up in a cozy blanket with Raul, making her just absolutely toasty and comfy, a bit drowsy from the painkillers she took and all the food, feeling just delighted to be surrounded by this people. She loved to be around the triplets, and Brian and John have been around long enough that she was completely used to them and liked them very much. They always made sure she was okay and having fun, the whole Mendes Family if she’s honest, she always felt very welcomed and glad to have them around, specially since she grew up with them. Maybe it was all of that great feeling, associated with the medicine and the that comforting feeling, she felt herself leaning into Raul a bit as Y/N struggled to stay awake, and instead of pushing her softly or saying something about her falling asleep too soon, he wrapped his arm around her welcoming her in his arms as she laid her head on his chest. She heard his warm chuckle as he placed a kiss on the top of her hair.

“Do you want to go to bed?” he asked softly rubbing intricate shapes on her back in a gentle way and she shook her head “let me know whenever you’re ready, yeah?”

She just nodded, nuzzling closer to him and without even noticing, she fell asleep.

-*-

She woke up what felt only moments later feeling her body moving and when she opened her eyes, she noticed that Raul was placing her on the bed for the night.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you” Raul whispered, pulling the covers up her body.

“It’s okay, I didn’t mean to fall asleep”

“It was a long day, sweetheart, it’s only natural” he said going to grab them each a bottle of water and flopping down beside her and she giggled.

“Thank you”

“For what?”

“For taking care of me and being the sweetest person”

“You don’t have to thank me for anything, you deserve it”

“But I do” Y/N said knuckling at her eye and reaching out for his hand, slotting their fingers together and squeeze it gently “thank you”

Raul smiled and leaned in to place a kiss at her forehead “you’re so beautiful, you know that, right?”

“Stop being silly” she laughed as he feigned an insulted expression.

“I’m not, you’re just the prettiest girl I’ve ever met and I’ve always thought this”

“Oh really? Aren’t you just trying to butter me up?”

“Me? I would never do that!” Raul scoffed and she just chuckled giving him a knowing look “okay, okay, you caught me, I’m just trying to steal your heart”

Y/N gasped “why would you do that to me?”

“Because I want it”

“For what? I’m not an athlete anymore, it’s a poor heart, and I love junk food, you won’t be able to sell it”

“You’re ridiculous, you know?”

“Look, you have to decide if I’m pretty, smelly or ridiculous, can’t be all of them” she said and he laughed.

“You’re impossible”

“Oh great, thanks, can you elaborate?”

“Don’t feel like doing it, no” he said and she rolled her eyes, turning away from him on the bed.

“Fine, then goodnight” Y/N turned off the lamp from her side of the bed and he chuckled, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her back flush against his chest “Hey! I-“

“Do you really want to know?” he said taking a deep sigh and burying his face on her neck.

“Well, if there’s an explanation to it, then yeah, but I was just being dramatic and-“

Raul cut her off trying to gather all the courage possible “There is and I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while, I was just trying to find the best timing and not ruin our friendship”

“You won’t end our friendship, yeah? You can just tell me” she said trying to turn in his arms but he had a vice grip on her, so she just gave up, interlacing their fingers together.

“We’ve known each other for years now, and even though you are closer to Peter most of the time, I couldn’t help it but want you closer. You’re always the cutest and sweetest little thing, always caring about the people around you and taking care of others, and being this funny smart person that always make the environment better around you, so I felt drawn to you. And for years I pushed it aside cause you’re always shy around me and I thought you just weren’t interested so I never made a move or something, but recently that was proven to be impossible, since that night you spent over and we slept on the couch I’ve been wanting to ask you about it or just do something about it“ Raul slowly loosened the grip on her and she decided to turn around to face him “You’re not impossible, maybe sometimes when you really want something, but what was really impossible was not falling for you, and you don’t have to say anything, I just thought you should know”

And Y/N couldn’t even speak and she wanted to. She was just speechless. The guy she had a crush on for years just told her he liked her, what the hell was she supposed to say?! She truly wanted to shout that she liked him too, that she wanted him too and that she felt like this for years, but the only thing she could do instead of gaping him like a fish was lean forward and press their lips together, and that’s what she did.

Raul was completely shocked at first and didn’t react at all, which made Y/N instantly regret her decision starting to pull back, but before she could completely pull away, Raul cradled her face in his hand and smeared their lips together in a sweet yet passionate kiss, pulling her closer as she wrapped her fingers in his hair, tangling on his curls. Y/N couldn’t believe this was actually real, the only thing that made her understand this wasn’t a dream, was the warmth and butterflies spreading through her body as he swept his tongue on her bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth genlty. Her head was spinning when they finally parted for air without actually leaning away. Raul rested his forehead on hers as they both panted softly, a bright smile spreading on his lips and Y/N just chuckled, making him do the same.

“I’ve had a crush on you for years now, you idiot” she said and he laughed.

“So sweet” he retorted and she laughed.

“But it’s true! I thought I was so obvious!”

“If I knew I wanted me too I would’ve done it sooner” he said before leaning in and pressing another kiss to her lips.

“Well maybe I should’ve said it sooner”

“Well, we can change that now, but I can take you on a date as soon as we get back and your feet is a bit better”

“Or we can just ignore my feet and go!”

“Not a chance, we can hang out at my place or yours and then go out”

“Sounds pretty nice”

“Then it’s settled”

“Oh, we have to deal with Peter”

“Hm, we can deal with him tomorrow, yeah? Really don’t want to think about my brother right now” he said pulling her to his chest and she giggled.

Okay, maybe she wasn’t completely fucked as she thought a month ago.

-*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

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sinsbymanka · 3 years

Text

Writing Tag Game

Okay listen I’m on vacation XD hence why I’m ignoring everyone’s tags/taking forever to respond. But I’ve been tagged in this A LOT and I really liked it/wanted to do it so thank you to everyone who tagged me (oh my god I’m so sorry if I missed one of you there were SO MANY): @noire-pandora, @in-arlathan, @thevikingwoman, @morganlefaye79, @elveny, @kunstpause, @pikapeppa

I’m not tagging anyone because I’m tagging everyone since I’m too lazy to find my tag list (I’m on VACATION). If you’ve not gotten tagged and wanted to do this, say I tagged you.

How many works do you have on Ao3?

147 - I have 145 linked to my profile and two in the anonymous collection.

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

1,468,248. Almost 1.5 million!!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Of Miracles and Heroes (FenHawke, Cadash/Varric, Varania/Blackwall): 269

Interspecies Relationships Have Their Ups and Downs (Shakarian): 145

Don’t Make it Hawkeward (Varric/Hawke): 135

The Ambassador’s Vices (Josephine/Adaar): 111

The Girl with the Arrow Tattoo (Cadash/Varric): 101

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do (but - to be honest - it takes me FOREVER). I love comments. It’s so much easier to not leave comments than leave comments, so every time someone leaves one I’m blown away. I feel like - for leaving me a comment - you’re definitely owed an answer! I do apologize that it takes me awhile though - I am very bad at answering because they mean a lot to me and I get easily overwhelmed by the AO3 inbox I don’t know why. Blame anxiety.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I’ll be honest, I don’t like angsty endings so I don’t have many of them. By far the angstiest ending I have is Flowers, Lies, and Forgiveness. This is a Bianca Davri/Varric Tethras fic set during the final act of DA2. I wrote it from Bianca’s POV - showing Varric unraveling under the pressure of Kirkwall and Bianca’s complicated feelings about infidelity to her husband who clearly cares about her as well. I wrote it for @hollyand-writes who always lets me lean into the tragic “fucked upness” of the pairing when I’m feeling like making Varric suffer.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending

I prefer happy endings so almost EVERYTHING has a happy ending. My favorite endings, so far, are for Cheating the Dread Wolf, which is my Varric/Cadash/Solas polycule (or as I like to refer to it - Solas has a dwarf kink) and The Viscount’s Mistress which is my Hurt/Comfort Cadash/Varric Trespasser bullshit.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I have not written crossovers - but I am very into AUs in another setting that belongs to a different fictional universe. Most recently I got back into my Downton Abbey bullshit and wrote Flappers for Fen’harel which is basically a Downton Abbey AU Solas/Cadash and I’m not taking comments about the outrageousness of it.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep. Honestly though? Over the two years I’ve been active in Fandom, the shitty comments can be counted on one hand and usually came from the same people over and over again, who are easily blocked, and should stop seeking out clearly labeled content they don’t like. Me and my work are not for everyone - that’s REALLY okay. I’ve blocked people for no other reason than making things I don’t like - that doesn’t mean they’re bad people.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

GOD DO I.

I am extremely sex and kink positive. Because of this - a lot of my work involves sex in some way or another. I think sex is a beautiful part of many (although not all) relationships, and that it’s frequently glossed over in mainstream media (particularly queer, kinky, and polyam sex).

This ranges from sort of vanilla slow burns (My Cole/Bea fic, Compassion for an Assassin, has smut which hasn’t been posted yet. It’s Cole’s first time and is fairly vanilla and romantic, and occurs approximately 40k into the fic) to some pretty dubious consent near 24/7 dom/sub dynamics with BDSM kinks (I’ve written JUST as much of the Sereda/Gorim problematic smut as @jarakrisafis has in our series Forced Moves).

There’s very few kinks I’m not willing to touch at least to try out - even if I end up not liking them. And the ones that aren’t for me are 100% allowed to exist and I will fight for them to the bloody end. My only recommendation is CLEARLY labeling your shit and not being afraid to add a tag if someone asks you to.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of? I’ve seen ideas I’ve tried on picked up by other people - but I don’t consider that stealing and it’s hard to trace “who has been inspired by who” because we ALL have been inspired by thousands of other people and frankly more stuff for me when I pull you over to my weird AUs and rarepairs.

I also think that’s a huge part of not getting stolen - I’ve got so much weird niche shit that only a couple people read that stealing from me is going to most likely be caught IMMEDIATELY the audience is so small.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I’ve got some co-written secret smut with @blarfkey which almost nobody has seen, I’ve borrowed @tightassets Hawke, Lavellan, and Shepard for fics that she has illustrated, borrowed @tuffypelly‘s Adaars for some great fics, and my most ambitious project - the Forced Moves series with @jarakrisafis. It started out as us just exchanging gifts back and forth but we’ve wrangled it into Gambits and Countergambits, an Aeducan-origin prequel, that I’m VERY proud of.

I love co-writing very much, but it’s very important to find the right partner and for it to be someone you trust completely.

What's your all time favourite ship?

This is a stupidly hard question because I am, at heart, a multi-shipper.

I love Varric/Hawke and Varric/Cadash. I’m also a sucker for Solas/Cadash. My fandom pool noodle is Varric/Cadash/Solas which I adore, and I’m very fond of Cole/Cadash.

Most recently I’ve been DEEP in Aeducan/Gorim Saelac, Bhelen/Rica/Vartag, and Aeducan/Brosca feels. Dwarf origins are the best origins in my opinion and those characters are PERFECT.

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I fully plan on finishing everything. My writing style changed a lot, for the better, in a short period of time. I need to integrate my old style/new style and had to get a pep talk about how to do that. Now I’m ready to try as soon as I finish Compassion for an Assassin.

What are your writing strengths?

I write very sexy, hot smut. I also really like playing with character voice and making sure I get them “right” so I do a lot of experimenting before publishing a new character for the first time.

I struggle to write action scenes - it’s like pulling fucking teeth - but people really LOVE my action scenes and they read well. So that’s something I’m proud of even if it feels like doing fucking pull ups.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I never learned anything. My experiences with English and writing teachers were overwhelmingly negative. I’m unsure if I’m just not cut out for classes or if they were that bad, but I always left feeling like there was one “right” way to do it, and everything I liked was “bad”, so what was the point of “learning” anything?

It turns out there’s this very pompous, pretentious thought process in writing where people “assume” things must be done, but GOOD writing teachers teach you the rules and then how to break them. I either never had a good writing teacher or got too intimidated to give them a chance before bouncing.

So I’m exceedingly self-taught. I lack the vocabulary to discuss plot structure, characterization, grammar, etc. I instinctively know most of these things based on trial and error and reading, but I didn’t learn them and I miss a lot of nuance in the rules, but until recently I was still too intimidated and unsure of myself to admit that or take it seriously.

So - my defense mechanism is NOT taking ANYTHING seriously. If my writing is a joke to me, it’s gotta be a joke to everyone else, but that’s been a shield to hide behind instead of being thoughtful about things. I’m here to have fun, yes, but there’s nothing wrong with learning a technique to the art.

I’ve learned - mostly thanks to @blarfkey who is an amazing person and a wonderful teacher - that I am a good writer based on my self-teaching. And being intimidated of people who throw around impressive sounding words is a weakness that I am working on.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Use sparingly and with good reason. It should be short and explained later or clear from context.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter on message boards back in the fucking day. Thankfully none of it exists anywhere anymore.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This is such a sappy answer and I’m so sorry. My favorite things have been written for and because of people I love and care about. When I read them, I’m not just reading the story, but remembering the relationships I’ve made and how important they are.

So, my top three fics for THAT reason:

1. Cheating the Dread Wolf - written for @blarfkey who inspired the idea and ruthlessly encouraged me to make it happen. This fic was so healing for me because it heavily features Fatherhood within it - and I lost my father in June 2020. I don’t know if I’d have been able to do it without her and it was so important for me to do.

2. Gambits and Countergambits - written with @jarakrisafis and the culmination of a years worth of gifting shit back and forth and crafting a shared universe. The worldbuilding, smut, relationships, EVERYTHING about this fic is so deeply and passionately cared about by both of us and to our knowledge it is completely, totally unique.

3. Relentless, Ridiculous, and Rakish - one of my only primarily gen-fics focusing on a forming brother/sister relationship between Maria Cadash and @tuffypelly‘s Otsar Adaar. I very much enjoyed writing it for her <3

And then my overall favorite fic:

The Viscount’s Mistress: I have a lot of opinions about how fanfiction treats the anchor’s meltdown and the aftermath. It’s one of the things in DAI that resonated with me SO much as someone who lives with chronic pain and a disability. I loved the fact my OC was in the same shoes and STILL saving the world. This is very much a fic that explores all the dark sides of trauma, pain, and the mental health effects of it. But it ends on a happy and hopeful note.

#manka writes #writer tag game thing

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derekfoxwit · 3 years

Text

Doctor Dorpden’s Critical Tips of Prestige

Note: This post was made with satirical intentions in mind. I’m only emphasizing because I’ve had a couple of comments on previous joke posts I’ve did take it seriously. With that said, here we go.

Tip 1: For starters, remember that when looking at the work, if the Mystic Knee twitches fast enough to punch a hole in a wall, this suggests that the work should be near the lowest of the low. No further development of opinion is needed.

Tip 2: For an equal degree of sophistication, give the warm comfort of nostalgia at least 5 times more chances than the new thing that MAY seem actually poggers.

Tip 3: If you have the anecdote of encountering shitty fans, then use them as a scapegoat for the show they flaunt over being shitty. Clearly, they’re always making the show the way it is.

Tip 4: If you haven’t heard much about a newer film or show you’re yet to watch, there’s an 85% chance that film or show is actually not worth your time. The Father (2020) isn’t as widespread as Joker (2019) for a reason.

Tip 5: At this point, just go for the Asian Artist Dick. I’m actually in the mood to see merit in that because I want to look edgy against cute doodles. Stop attacking Uzaki-Chan, you cowards!

Tip 6: Avoid the electronic tunes. They’ll make you smell like a bum, for there’s no structural in a music album that’s nothing but wubs.

Tip 7: If you see a Tweet that looks dumb, use it as a means of generalizing all the fans of a work as sharing that same opinion.

Tip 8: If the cartoon I’m given doesn’t provide me with mature ideas such as slicing an Arbok in half or fake boobs, then the cartoon might as well be on the same level as Teletubbies.

Tip 9: You know the music is (c)rap when it brings up drugs, regardless of lyrical context.

Tip 10: Raw mood is the indicator of quality cartooning. If you’re quick to assume the worst in the newest HBO Max original cartoon, then you got thyself a stinker. Same thing if you were super bummed out when watching a new thing, regardless of anecdotal context.

Tip 11: When you’re not given continuous throwbacks, ensure you’re as reductive and over-generalizing about the works shown as possible.

Tip 12: If your hazy and imperfect as hell recollection of a children’s film, whether it’s Wall-E or Lilo & Stitch, would describe said film as “too sugary” or “key-waving schlock”, then that HAS to be the case. No meat on that bone whatsoever.

Tip 13: Simpler, more graphic style that isn’t as realistic as old-school Disney or Anime? You got yourself a lazy style with zero passion put into it.

UPA? Who’s THAT?!

Tip 14: Don’t trust anyone saying that western children’s cartoons had any form of artistic development after 2008 (with, like, TWO exceptions). If it did, why didn’t we go from stealing organs in a 2001 cartoon to showing opened stomachs in a 2021 cartoon?

Tip 15: Big booba is always important to the strong female character’s quality.

Tip 16: Only MY ships count, for they provide me with a feeling of intelligence.

Tip 17: “PG-13″ and “R” rating just simply mean you’re not caring for expressing themes in a sophisticated manner. It’s just THAT simple until I dictate otherwise.

Tip 18: In this age of smelly radicals, “Death of the Author” is more important than ever. Without it, this’ll imply that a classic like The Matrix was secretly toxic, due to what the Wachowskis have to say about it being an “allegory of trans people.”

Tip 19: Turn the fandoms you hate into your torture porn. Ask in Tweets to Retweet one sentence that’d “trigger” them. Go out of your way to paint all of them as blind consoomers. That’ll show them, and it’ll show how much more intelligent you are compared to those clowns.

Tip 20: Whatever the Mystic Knee dictates upon the first viewing of a work is what shall indicate the full structural extent of the film.

Tip 21: The mindset of a 2000s edgelord is one that actually understands the artistry of the medium of animation. Listen to that crazy but ingenious man.

Tip 22: Because sheer ambition makes me feel manly, the high pedestal you bestow upon a cartoon work should be based mostly on the mere mention or mere suggestion of serious topics. This means that pure comedy is smelly.

Tip 23: Is the new work tackling subjects that you’ve loved a childhood work of yours for covering? Just assume it’s super bare-bones in that case compared to the older case, for there’s nothing the older work can do to truly prove itself otherwise. Seriously, Letterboxd. Stop giving any 2010s cartoon anything above a 4/5

Tip 24: If the Mystic Knee is suggesting that the work is crummy, then consider any explanation off the top of your head for why the work in question is crummy.

Tip 25: Sexual and gender identity is inherently political, so don’t focus on them in the story. It’s no wonder why Full Metal Alchemist has caught on more than the She-Ra reboot.

Tip 26: Since I got bothered by a random butt monkey type character in a crummy cartoon, I’m now obligated to assume that having a butt monkey will only harm the writing integrity of the cartoon.

Seriously, Mr. Enter....what?!

Tip 27: We’re at a point where pure comedy for a kids’ cartoon is doing nothing but dumbing down the children. Like seriously...... I doubt Billy and Mandy would ever use farts as a punchline, unlike these newer kids comedies.

Tip 28: The difference between the innuendo in kids’ cartoons I grew up on and the ones Zootopia made is the sense of prestige they give me. Just take notes from the former instead.

Tip 29: Wanna make a work of artistic merit? Just take notes from the stuff I whore out to. It’s just THAT simple until I dictate otherwise.

Tip 30: Always remember this golden rule: If the newer work, or a work you’ve recently experienced the first time, was truly great, why isn’t it providing the exact emotions from your younger, more impressionable years?

Tip 31: If the Mystic Knee aims to break the bones of a character doing certain things (.i.e. having body count of thousands; lashing out to character; etc.), that means the character is bad and deserves no redemption.

Tip 32: If you want me to believe there’s any intrigue or depth in your antagonist, give them redemption, for I am in need of that sorta thing being spelled out. Looking at you, Syndrome. Should’ve taken notes from Tai Lung.

Tip 33: In a case where you’re going “X > Y” (.i.e. manga compared to western comics), ALWAYS CHERRY PICK! Use the recent controversies of the “Y” item while pretending that the “X” item has never had anything of the sort.

Tip 34: BEFORE you bring up those comments that shat on the original Teen Titans cartoon back when it was new, whether for making Starfire “more PC” or whatever.......the DIFFERENCE between them and me is that THEY were just bad faith fools that couldn’t see true majesty out of blind rage. I, however, am truly certain that calling any western TV cartoon from 2014-onward a work that transcends its generation suggests a destruction of the medium.

Tip 35: Based on fandom growth, it shows that any newer show isn’t being watched much by kids, but rather loser adults that act like children. Therefore, there’s more prestige in what I grew with.

Tip 36: The focus on children is bad at this point since the children of today have attention spans that flies would have.

Tip 37: A select few screenshots (or even one) of either a less elaborate attacking animation, less realistic game graphics, or a less on-model image in a cartoon indicates EVERYTHING about the work’s quality.

Tip 38: Consuming or writing media where characters go through constant suffering is little more than gaining pleasure out of it. YOU SICKOS!

Looking at you, Lily Orchard!

Tip 39: Whether it’s a sexual awakening story or just simply a romance, focus on a character being lesbian, trans, bi, etc., then it shouldn’t be in a kids’ work. It’s too spicy for them by default. Kids don’t want romance anyway.

Tip 40: The very idea of a western cartoon with no full-blown antagonist (i.e. Inside Out) is a destruction of animated artistry. Sorry, but it’s just THAT simple until I dictate otherwise.

Tip 41: Unless it’s my fluffy pillow, such as Disney’s Robin Hood, it should be obligated to assume the inserting of anthros is only there to pleasure the furries. Looking at YOU, Zootopia!

Tip 42: With how rough and rash The Beast was, it shows that he was more of an abusive lover. Therefore, I refuse to believe that Beauty and the Beast has any of the meticulous moral writing that most of Disney’s other 90s films has.

Tip 43: When you suggest one work should’ve “taken notes” from another work in order to do better, BE VAGUE! Those who agree will be shown to be geniuses.

Tip 44: Remember how morally grey Invader Zim was? That really goes to show how little the Western Animation scene has been trying since that show. Really should just be taking notes from that series (and of course anime).

Tip 45: Even if I have a radar that clearly indicates such, hiding the item I look for inside an enemy is always bad, for I refuse to believe it would be inside the enemy.

Goddamn it, Arin!

Tip 46: People struggle understanding your gender identity or pronouns? All there is to see in that is a giant cloud of egotism that reads “My problems” zapping another smaller cloud that reads “other people’s problems”. Seriously, kids are starving, so WHAT if you identity confused someone. Grow a spine!

Tip 47: Stop pretending that adaptations should colorize how a story or comic series should be defined. No way in FUCK can a cartoon or film incarnation become the definitive portrayal of my precious superhero idol.

Tip 48: Enough with your precious “limited animation” techniques, YOU WESTERN HACKS! All you’re doing is admitting to sheer laziness and lacking artistic integrity. Now if you excuse me, I’ll be watching more anime, since that gives me a sense of prestige.

Tip 49: If getting five times more detail than the 2D animated visuals have requires someone getting hurt, so be it. No pain, no gain after all.

Tip 50: Yes, I genuinely struggle to believe there’s this majestic level of layered material without having the most immediate yet still vague re-assurance practically yelling in my face. But that’s STILL the work’s fault, not mine.

Tip 51: Every Klasky-Csupo cartoon has more artistic integrity than any of them cartoons with gay lovers such as Kipo or the Netflix She-Ra show.

Tip 52: If Sergio Pablos’ Klaus is anything to go by, we have no excuse to utilize those smelly as fuck digital animation “styles” found on Stinky Universe, Suck-Ra or Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turds.

Tip 53: Stop projecting your orientation onto works of actual talent. Seriously, how does Elton John’s I’m Still Standing expel ANY rainbow flag energy?

Tip 54: Hip hop and electronica have been the destruction of music, especially the kind that’s actually organic and not farting on the buttons of a beeping or drumming gadget.

Tip 55: The audience for cartoons has become significantly less clear over the years. We should just go back to Saturday mornings of being sold toys or shit kids actually want.

Tip 56: PSAs for kids shouldn’t be about ‘woke’ content. They should be actual problems such as doing drugs; not playing with knifes / outlets / matches; or acceptance.

Tip 57: The instant you realize a detail in a childhood work that’s better understood as an adult, you’re forced to paint that work as the most transcendent thing in the world. It’s just THAT simple until I dictate otherwise.

Tip 58: Before you lash out on ALL rich people, remember this: #Not All Rich People.

Tip 59: There’s nothing to gain out of the (c)rap scene other than becoming a spiteful, gun-wielding thug that sniffs weed for breakfast.

Tip 60: Since the Mystic Knee told me to get anal about prom episodes in several gay cartoons, this shows that writing about one’s younger experiences just makes you look pathetic.

Tip 61: Another smelly thing about Zootopia is how it was painting a police chief as stern and exclusive. #Not All Chiefs

Tip 62: Me catching a glimpse of Grave of the Fireflies as a kid and turning out fine shows that you may as well show kids more adult works without worry. No amount of psychological questions being asked will suggest otherwise.

Tip 63: There’s a reason why the Mystic Knee keeps leaning more toward the 90s and early 2000s than most decades. That knee KNOWS where there’s a sense of true refinement.

Tip 64: The BIG difference between rock and electronica? Steward Copeland actually DRUMS. All that the likes of Burial, Boards of Canada, Depeche Mode and several others did was push drum buttons.

Tip 65: One exception to the golden nostalgia is when the work in question doesn’t stuff your face with fantastical, bombastic stories. At which point, there can only be rose-colored blinds covering Nickelodeon’s Doug. Nothing of merit or personal resonance to be found.

Tip 66: Remember that the sense of nuance in the work comes down to there being everything including the kitchen sink, whether it involves multiple geographic landscapes; giving us hundreds of characters; etc. Only through the extremes will I be able to tell there is nuance.

Tip 67: Once you see a joke that has an involvement with sexual or violent content, just ignore the full picture and just reduce it to having nothing to it but “sex, violence, gimme claps.”

PKRussel has entered the chat

Tip 68: With all the SJWs messing up the art of comedy, lament the times where you could be called a comic genius, NOT a monster, for shouting out the word “STAB,” calling a gay weird, painting Middle Easterns as inherently violent, etc.

Tip 69: Guitar twang will always win out over (c)rap beats. There’s a reason your grandma is more likely to listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd than Kendrick Lamar.

Tip 70: Once the Mystic Knee notices a lack of squealing at the video game with linearity, that shows there’s more artistry in going full-blown open world.

Tip 71: Related to Tips 66 and 68, ensure your comedy gets as much information and mileage out of each individual skit as possible. EMPHASIZE if you need to. Continuously spout out your quirky phrase of “STAB” if needed.

Tip 72: Based on the onslaught of TV shows with many seasons and episodes, animated or otherwise, it shows that there’s more worth going for that than simply having a miniseries or a 26-episode anime.

Tip 73: Building off of the previous tip, you’re better off squeezing and exhausting every little detail and notable characterization rather than keeping anything simple and possibly leaving a stone unturned, especially if there’s supposed to be a story.

Tip 74: Playing through the fan translation of Mother 3 made me realize how much some newer kids’ works just try too hard to get serious. Why even make the kids potentially think about the death of a family member?

Tip 75: The fear I had over Sid’s toys from the first Toy Story and similar anecdotal emotions are the be-all indicators of what kind of show or film is fitting for the children.

Tip 76: Seeing this British rapper chick have a song titled “Point and Kill” just further exemplifies the fears I’ve had about rappers being some of the most harmful folks ever.

Tip 77: The problem with attempting to make a more “relatable” She-Ra is that kids aren’t looking for relatability. They want the escapism of buff fighters or something similar. This is why slice-of-life is so smelly.

Tip 78: Based on seeing the rating of “PG-13″ or “R,” I can tell that the dark humor is little more than “hur dur sex and guns.” Given the “TV-Y7 FV” rating of Invader Zim, the writers should’ve taken notes from that instead just so I can sense actual prestige.

Tip 79: The original He-Man has more visual intrigue in its animation than any of those smelly glorified doodles found in the “styles" of the 2010s and early 2020s.

Tip 80: It’s always the fault of the game that my first guess (that I refuse to divert from) on how I have to go through an obstacle won’t work.

Tip 81: Zootopia discussing prejudice ruins the majestic escapism I got from my precious childhood films from 1991-2004. Them kids might as well be watching the news. Now to watch some Hunchback after I finish these tips.

Tip 82: There is no such thing as an unreasonable expectation, and there’s especially no wrong way to address the lack of met expectations! For example, if you expect some early 2010s cartoon on the Disney Channel to be a Kids X-Files, yet you get moments such as some girl getting high on stick dipping candy, you got the right to paint the worst out of that show for not being “Kids’ X-Files.”

Tip 83: Related to my example for Tip 82, if you get the slightest impression of something being childish, you know you got yourself a children’s work that does little than wave keys and has basically nothing substantial for them. In this situation, those malfunctioning robots found in Wall-E are the guilty party.

Tip 84: Without the extensive dialogue that I’m used to getting, how can one say for certain there was any amount of characterization in the title character of Wall-E?

Tip 85: Ever noticed yourself gradually being less likely to expect an upcoming work or view a work you’re just consuming as “the next best thing”? That’s ALWAYS the fault of smelly “artists” (hacks really) and their refusal to give a shit.

Tip 86: It’s obligatory for your lead to be explicitly heroic just so there is this immediate re-assurance that they’re a good one.

Tip 87: Without the comforting safety net of throwbacks, one cannot be for certain that there has been an actual evolution of a series or the art of animation and video games.

Tip 88: Don’t PSA kids on stuff they give zero fucks about. That means no gender identities or pronouns, race, etc.

Tip 89: Don’t listen to Mamoru Hosoda saying that anime women tend to be “depicted through a lens” of sexual desire. He’s just distracting from the superior prestige found in anime women.

Tip 90: If you’re desperate to let others know that your talking points are reasonable, just repeat them over and over with little expansion on said talking points.

Tip 91: 7 or more seasons of art is better than 26 episodes of art. EVERY TIME!

Tip 92: Always remember to continuously talk up the innuendo and mature subject matter of the childhood work as the most prestigious, transcendent thing of all time. With that in mind, there’s a high chance that your favorite childhood work will be better known than Perfect Blue (1997), and there’s likely a reason for that.

Tip 93: An art style that gives many characters relatively more realistic arm muscle details will always shine through more than any sort of art style done for “simplicity” (laziness, really).

Tip 94: Seeing a few (like, even VERY FEW) people show more enthusiasm for Steven Universe over Invader Zim really shows the lower bar that has been expected out of the western animation scene compared to anime.

Tip 95: Electronic music makes less conventional time signatures cheap as hell. REAL music like rock makes them the exact opposite.

Tip 96: If your Mystic Knee suggests that the 90s cartoon being viewed doesn’t showcase a vague sense of refinement or artistic integrity, then every related assumption of yours is right. EVERY TIME!

Tip 97: Doing everything and the kitchen sink for one series or movie shows a better sense of refinement and prestige than any form of simplicity. THIS includes character design as well.

Tip 98: The advent of that Star Wars: Visions anime really shows just how stinky western cartoons have become.

Tip 99: For those wondering, no, Europe isn’t being counted in my definition of “western animation”. Doing so is a complete disservice to prestige.

Tip 100: If even less than half of these tips aren’t being considered, you can kiss that prestige badge goodbye. After all, I SAID SO!

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dumblydork · 3 years

Text

Wasn't expecting to be back as a writer so soon but I just absolutely CANNOT get enough of writing headcanons and AUs and JUST BEAR WITH ME OKAY

Also I feel like this is super long but it might not be idk

Some more Hinny, with a bit of Romione! So this one is set in the modern magical world. Hope you enjoy! And don't forget, if you have absolutely ANY Hinny headcanons you'd want to see written, please drop me a message or an ask anytime and I'll do my best to write one 3>

"This class just CANNOT get any worse." Ron muttered, drawing lazy lines with his pen on the History of Magic textbook they were reading.

"We literally live in 2020, do we really HAVE to study all this old age crap?" He continued, now shifting to drawing circles as the teacher droned on.

Harry for one, wasn't listening to the professor (though he did vaguely hear him mention 'Goblin War' but that was about it) and neither to Ron. Harry was busy staring out of the window onto the busy streets of London below their high classroom, thinking about a certain redhead.

A certain redhead who also happened his best friend's sister.

"Hi!" Hermione's voice came in an excited whisper as she started taking out her textbook, the dull grey of it made slightly happy with all the colourful muggle stickers (once affronted, she had told Harry that they were called 'Post Its' but Harry just could never bother with the name), full of notes and extra bits. Hermione was careful not to let the professor know that she was suddenly here, a thought which hit Harry when Ron exclaimed almost loudly before Hermione kicked his foot under the table to shut him up.

"I swear to Godric you weren't here literally a minute ago how- Harry?" Ron wondered, calling his best friend.

"Yes it's very odd Ron." Harry almost sighed, back to his brooding. Hermione was doing weird things always- it was nothing new.

"Please be like Harry and stop looking so surprised. Let me focus." Hermione sneered at Ron and whipped out her pencil, furiously noting down from the board whatever the professor had been droning on about for the past 45 minutes.

"And that, is all on the Goblin War of 1785 today. Make sure you finish your homework- remember, 4 pages on the magical strategies used by the two goblin sides to win the war. I need it handed in on Monday. Class dismissed." The professor walked out with his nose in the air, as if he had imparted the knowledge of a lifetime in one single lesson. He waved a lazy hand at the board which wiped off all the notes, releasing a few cries from the back where some kids were still making notes.

"Thank Godric that's over!" Ron could almost cry. Harry was back to paying attention, especially after Hermione slapped his hand. "Earth calling whatever planet Harry Potter is on!" She laughed. The three of them got up and walked out into the corridor.

"What lesson do we have next?" Harry asked absentmindedly.

"What's up with you today? You've been like this since we returned from the Burrow well over a week ago." Ron said thoughtfully, an arm slung carelessly around Hermione's shoulder, who was surprisingly okay with it.

Harry snapped back to reality. If Ron found out, it would be Harry's head and nothing else.

"And what about the two of you? Care to explain," Harry looked at the Ron's arm, "whatever this is? You two have been just finding ways for touching each other, don't think I haven't noticed." Harry finished with a whistle, knowing this was the nerve he had hit. He almost grinned to himself.

"That," Hermione shrug off the arm around her, blushing furiously, "is just two friends being friendly." She finished, but there was a considerable change in the pitch of her voice.

"Yes yes whatever." Harry flicked a lazy hand at the two, knowing fully well they had gotten up to something in the Burrow which was only between the two of them.

The trio had reached the cafeteria where they sat down on one of the empty benches, having half hour free before moving on to Harry's most despised class- Chemistry, or Potions as it was called in the older ages.

Harry let his thoughts move back to the Burrow (courtesy this couple who were now sitting with their sides practically touching). The Burrow was Ron's house, and the trio's favourite hangout. They were there for the summer break, which had ended a week ago, but the memories were still as old as yesterday.

"Oh please, I will kick your ass at Quidditch." Ginny, Ron's younger sister and the youngest Weasley piped, her fiery red hair pulled back into a ponytail.

Quidditch was the one thing Harry really enjoyed- it was rare to have Quidditch matches in school now with so much course load, so these summers were what he lived for.

Particularly this one summer where Ginny had turned up looking just gorgeous, something Harry had failed to notice in the 6 years he had known her. It wasn't as if she wasn't gorgeous before- it just struck him differently this time. Maybe it was the heat. Maybe it was the fact that she could make Harry laugh almost always. She was not only gorgeous- Ginny had developed a sense of humour and sarcasm quite unlike her brothers- they were fond of practical jokes, whereas Ginny was more of the sharp tongued type who could make an entire room laugh without as much as waving a hand. And it was absolutely fabulous. Harry had found himself staring at her practically everyday of summer since he came to the Burrow three months ago.

The way she tied her hair up, or how she bit her lip when exasperated with her Math homework and the way her lips opened slowly first when she laughed. The slight, barely perceptible crook in her teeth and the generous sprinkling of freckles all across her face. It was all suddenly very endearing to Harry.

And hence, midway through his last week at the Burrow, Harry had come to the conclusion that he had started fancying Ginevra Weasley, his best friend Ronald Weasley's younger sister. Not to mention practically Hermione's best friend, despite being an year younger.

So that was why Harry was barely able to keep his impulses in check when he saw Ginny in her Quidditch outfit, wearing a red and gold jersey with cream coloured bottoms. But when he thought of how he could have his ears boxed in by Ron, he could very much focus back on the match and not on a heart-achingly stunning redhead.

"Language, Ginny. This girl," Ron's mom, Molly, muttered under her breath, currently putting up laundry by swishing her wand back and forth. All of the Weasley siblings were back home at the Burrow, except for Percy and Bill, who were both busy working.

"Sorry mom! As I was saying Harry, I will definitely kick your bottom in this match." Ginny corrected herself.

"Please, we shall see." Lately it was getting increasingly difficult for him to produce coherent responses in front of the woman he had come to consider as practically a sarcastic goddess. But he was proud of this response- he should continue thinking about Ron's punches.

"Okay, positions, and go!" Harry heard Arthur, Ron's father say and the match began in earnest. Hermione was sitting this one down with a novel, but at the moment was preparing a jug of lemonade the Muggle way.

Ron and Harry were one team, whereas Ginny, George and Fred were another. The game lasted for a good 40 minutes before Harry and Ron won the game by obtaining the 'snitch' (which was actually just an enchanted flying ball, kindly given to them by Arthur who had an obsession for all things Muggle).

"What happened to all that talk of kicking ass, huh?" Harry laughed, almost falling into one of the reclining chairs. Molly was handing out cool glasses of lemonade. "I think mine needs more ice." Harry said, sipping from his glass.

"Oh I totally forgot the ice! My wand is in the kitchen though." She said sheepishly, not wanting to give up her spot on the recliner. Or rather not wanting to get up from her spot next to Ron, who had decided to perch himself on Hermione's recliner despite there being an extra empty one.

"That's okay, I'll get some myself." He grinned. "I'll come too- I need to change out of this." Ginny added. They walked back inside the Burrow which was empty, with the entire family outside in the garden.

Harry waved his wand which was lying on the kitchen counter into a bowl and ice appeared, shining in the sunlight but not melting. Magic.

He added a few to his glass and leaned on the counter, sipping lazily on the drink. It was good to be away from the noise for a minute. Ginny reappeared downstairs, having changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and unholy thoughts came rushing back into Harry's brain.

"I'll get some ice too, now that I'm here." Ginny took out an empty glass and filled it with ice, presumably wanting to fill it with lemonade later. But the way she took the ice gave Harry goosebumps- she leant across him instead of asking him to move and picked a few pieces of ice from behind him. Harry was frozen in his place- Ginny made no move whatsoever to stand behind. She stood inches away from Harry, just a few centimetres shorter than him.

"Oh for goodness sakes Harry, kiss me already." She rolled her eyes but the tip of her ears went red.

"What?" Harry spluttered- it was something he had been wanting to do since the start of summer but putting it into words stunned him of sorts. Was he THAT readable?

"Don't think I haven't seen the way you've looked at me all summer, Harry. It's not that difficult to know that you fancy me. A lot. And just so you know, I do too. A lot. Have done so since Ron introduced us.* She whispered, but stepped back after her confession.

Harry was still stunned, but could anyway notice the distance she had put, now slightly unsure after her brazenness. She still stared at him, her lips shaped into an imperceptible 'O', begging to be kissed. So that's what Harry did- he pulled Ginny back towards him by her waist and placed his lips on hers, almost tasting sunlight but with cherry swirled in it. His hands remained at her waist but Ginny moved hers to lock around Harry's neck, slowly playing with the curls at his nape. She smiled into the kiss, parting her lips were slightly, just so Harry could taste her; it was sinful but decadent. Very much like a good bar of chocolate. More than good. An absolutely unbelievable bar of chocolate.

When they finally pulled back after what could have been a lifetime, or an eternity, or a few seconds, Ginny grinned at Harry. "Do you not have anything to say?" She stood there's suddenly a bit shy, with her arms still around Harry's neck.

"You said all of it for me. I do fancy you- maybe way too much." He said, feeling as if Ginny's brazen confidence was transferred into his veins.

"That's a relief, because I might or might not have been looking to get you to kiss me." She said, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

"You what?" Harry stared at her incredulously, before breaking out into a wide smile.

"Don't worry, the bit about me fancying you is real. Have done so since I was 10." She added seriously.

"So are we a thing now?" Harry raised an eyebrow, quite enjoying the small circles he was making on Ginny's side.

"Keep dreaming on, Potter." She removed her hands from around his neck and disappeared like she had reappeared after changing, what felt like ages ago. Harry smiled to himself before walking outside again, his lemonade glass forgotten.

---

"Really Harry, one would think you're in love the way you're zoned out." Ron stared at him, as Harry snapped back into the real world.

"Huh? Oh yeah." He agreed absent mindedly, still reeling a bit from that summer afternoon.

"You're in love?" Hermione asked, an eyebrow raised as she looked up from what looked like homework.

"Forget me, but you do seem to be." Harry glanced at her notebook, which had R+H scribbled messily on the margins. He grinned as Hermione and Ron blushed furiously.

"Okay fine, me and Ron might have kissed at the Burrow." Hermione said, snapping her book shut as Ron stared at her longingly.

"How interesting, because me and Harry did something similar." Ginny suddenly appeared from behind and sat beside Harry, pressing her lips to his cheek.

The two boys stared back and forth. Ron's eyes widened but returned to their normal size, as Ron slung an arm around Hermione again, except this time she actually leaned into him.

"What? Is happening?" Harry looked around, first at the couple in front of him and then at Ginny. This was all extremely confusing.

"Did you think you were the only observant human to ever exist? Hermione Granger is my girlfriend, Harry. Nothing escapes her. Not when one of her best friends kisses another one of her best friends." Ron laughed.

"Wait so you're not mad?" Harry was still shaken. Was his worrying all a waste? If he'd known, he could have spent more time with Ginny, locked behind doors, his lips on hers-

"Why would I be? I'd rather Ginny end up with you rather than some other git from school." Ron's voice cut into his thoughts breezily.

"Oh. Okay." Harry settled before smiling at Ginny and weaving his hand through hers.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Harry's eyes widened.

"Wait. Hermione Granger is your girlfriend?!" The typical Potter late realisation. The three people around him laughed heartily before Harry joined in, shooting Ginny an endearing look, making the tips of her ears turn red.

#hinny au #harry potter #ginny weasley #harry potter headcanon #harry x ginny #hinny headcanon #hinny #headcanon #school #romione #ron x hermione

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fonulyn · 3 years

Text

fonulyn’s 2020 in fics

this is kind of exciting since in 2020 I did get a lot writing done, and it marks the second year in a row that I’m able to actually make one of these posts after that horrible not good at all terrible disastrous three and a half years when I wrote absolutely nothing. so it’s a triumph to get another one of these up! personal victory haha.

in total, in 2020 I wrote 148 fics, ranging from like 200 words to 34k (idk if those short things can be called fics but i just did). by pairing, there’s

13 of Joe/Nicky

58 of Piers/Leon

56 of Chris/Leon

(1 with Piers/Leon and Chris/Leon)

5 of the ot3 (Chris/Leon/Piers)

11 of Krauser/Leon

3 of Wesker/Chris (lmao still can’t believe this)

1 of Chris/Leon/Krauser

so. in retrospect, i did okay.

it’s over 300 thousand words and I am kind of. surprised. and that is not counting the approximately 50k of wips i’m ignoring :’D

I’d also like to take a second to thank everyone who has ever sent me nice messages, commented on the fics, left reblogs or kudos, and the like. you’re what kept me going, I wouldn’t have gotten even half as much done otherwise.

without further ado, links to all of the fics under the cut! they’re organized by pairing, and the links take you to tumblr posts (bc I’m lazy) and a lot of them have a link in the post that takes you to ao3. (also can you see I put ~~so much~~ effort into naming the tumblr ficlets :’D feel free to laugh at me)

Joe/Nicky

a dog by any other name | 1,5k | The one wherein they end up owning a dog.

within the heart a flame of desires | 5,0k | Nicolo watches Yusuf have sex with others, desperately wishing he was with him instead. Until things change. He much prefers having Yusuf all for himself.

the world will wait | 2,4k | The one wherein Joe takes a lot of naps and the whole team gets to relax.

catch this | 650w | Every time Joe gets distracted (by Nicky), Andy tries to take him by surprise.

nobody’s perfect | 1,9k | Even immortal warriors have their weaknesses, Nile learns. Those just aren’t what she expected.

only in these arms | 780w | Nicky has trouble sleeping alone. Andy is a decent substitute, but only when Joe returns so does Nicky’s ability to get a decent night’s rest.

(please don’t explain) that time in Malta | 580w | Nile doesn’t think at first it would even be possible for Joe to be embarrassed. By anything. Until one evening, they talk about Malta.

cool it down boys | 400w | Andy gets no sleep. She gets revenge, though.

cowboy, baby | 340w | Nicky has the fashion sense of a sack of flour, and he is fine with that.

that day is not today | 4,9k | They struggle through the whole lab-experience. It isn’t the time yet to forgive Booker.

tea, soup and tlc | 2k | The one wherein Joe is not sick. At all. Nope. He isn't.

two drinks too many | 770w | Nicky is a little drunk. Joe loves him anyway.

safe haven | 3,9k | The one wherein everyone gets quality cuddles from Joe.

Piers/Leon

it was you that I found | 23,4k | Leon doesn’t really do relationships. Not because he doesn’t want to, but because he always seems to be so bad at them. Of course entirely by accident he manages to build one without even realizing it.

unexpected visitor | 690w | Piers is forced on bed-rest. At least Leon stops by.

got me all tied up (never let me go) | 4,0k | Piers doesn’t like suits. Leon loves Piers in a suit.

not so subtle | 210w | “Soo, were you checking me out all night, or was that just my imagination?” Leon asks suddenly, Piers chokes on his drink in surprise.

nighttime fools | 4,8k | Piers and Leon get arrested for public indecency. It’s not their fault, honest.

piers isn’t sick, really, he isn’t (he is) | 670w | “Oh, hi,” Piers said immediately, a goofy smile slipping onto his face. Man, he was happy to see Leon. So happy to see him.

so you’ve met Xena | 620w | “Xena?” Leon turned to look at Piers, decidedly unimpressed. “You named your dog after the Warrior Princess?“

you’re cute, you know | 680w | Piers took the opportunity the second their gazes met. He grinned, as charmingly as he possibly managed, and said “You’re cute, you know that?“

kiss the nightmares away | 470w | Sleepily Piers blinked, trying to make his eyes work properly. He squinted at the digital clock on the bedside, and its harsh red numbers that told him it was 3:30, and confusedly he turned to frown at Leon. “Why aren’t you sleeping?“

smooth talking, Nivans, very smooth | 1,4k | Piers can not control what comes out of his mouth.

dream a little (dirty) dream of me | 1,3k | Piers wakes Leon up. That's it.

your shirt is my shirt | 950w | With a sigh Piers grabbed the only shirt available that wasn’t battery operated and obnoxious. It was Leon’s, so old that the print had faded completely, leaving only faint outlines behind. And when Piers pulled it on he grumbled again, realizing how tight it was.

here for you | 620w | Leon can’t sleep, but somehow Piers makes his anxieties bleed away.

grand plans | 260w | “Are you seriously going to wear that?”

new puppy | 430w | “Hey there little guy.” Leon bent down to pick up the little puppy, straightening again to hold it against his chest. His hands looked almost comically large as the dog was so tiny, and carefully he cradled it close.

a little bit funny | 850w | So maybe Piers hadn’t slept properly in days, and the sleep deprivation was making him a little hysterical, but he didn’t even remember when a stupid comedy would’ve made him laugh so much.

for now our time is here | 4,4k | When Chris had told them to wait up and left them alone for a while, this probably wasn’t what he’d been expecting, but the second he’d closed the door behind himself the tension that had been brewing between Leon and Piers had snapped like a cord.

wanting too much | 1,1k | “Fucking hell, never do that to me again,“ Leon huffed out, clearly relieved beyond anything.

the prettiest agent with the prettiest hair | 1,2k | Piers stress-braids. Leon doesn't mind. And besides, Piers always undoes the braids whenever he's done with them. Until one night he forgets.

you can be the air that i breathe | 1,0k | It wasn’t the first time Piers got punched in the face by a gigantic BOW so hard that the hit sent him flying. It was, however, the first time he was sent careening off a bridge and into the river below. And it was, definitely, the first time Leon saved his life.

before I found you | 890w | The second Piers realized that the spikes covering the monster actually came off, and it was able to shoot them towards its attackers, it was already too late for him to react.

you don’t need to stay | 950w | Piers did his best to take care of Leon. And as much as Leon appreciated it, he didn’t want to be a goddamn nuisance.

need me, baby, just a little stronger tonight | 2,1k | Leon really has to practice perfecting his poker face. At least he gets what he wants in the end.

be my valentine | 920w | “Are you sure?“ Piers asked for the tenth time, frowning down at the bar of Fazer blue chocolate. “I still think it’s… not a lot?”

you're the world that I wanna discover | 7,5k | The one wherein they buy a house, fall even more in love, and Leon reaches a breaking point.

call me (tell me what you feel) | 1,7k | Leon is stuck at the airport. At least he gets a nice phone call with Piers.

incentive to stay alive | 1,0k | "Hey, Nivans, wake up,” he tried, but there was no answer, and he couldn’t help but let the worry in his voice. “Piers. Don’t you dare die on me. Chris would kill me if I let anything happen to his best sniper.”

blanket hog Leon | 880w | Grumbling, Piers turned around, and as he’d expected Leon was cozily wrapped in at least four blankets, leaving nothing for Piers, who was currently freezing his ass off.

I give you all I am | 2,0k | “Leon?” Piers approached in quick steps, watching recognition flicker in Leon’s eyes as he lowered his own weapon too. Leon was slumped against the wall, hunched over and holding his side, and there was something feverish about his eyes. Yet as soon as he realized it was Piers he gave a shaky grin, even if that was all he managed.

why are the gorgeous ones always taken | 810w | Piers blinked his eyes open slowly, expression scrunched up, and it took a long moment before he managed to actually focus his gaze on Leon’s face. When he did, a smile immediately bloomed on his face, and he even tilted his head a little. “Have I died and gone to heaven?” he croaked out, his voice rough from lack of use.

still intact | 1,1k | It took a week before the level of painkillers was correct and Piers woke up with a gasp instead of a scream. And the first thing he asked was for someone to kill him.

of guns and ...guns | 270w | Leon likes the way Piers handles his rifle. There’s drool involved.

always fashionable | 540w | Apparently having a crush on the well-dressed, professional Leon translated into being absolutely fucking in love with the sleep-mussed and squinty Leon.

misplaced phones and revelations | 660w | Chris finds Piers’ phone. Which turns out to be Leon’s phone. The two turn out to be dating. Chris feels kind of blind.

yee-haw! | 1,0k | Leon rides Piers. Wearing a cowboy hat.

you’re cute when you’re angry | 620w | When he’s stressed, Piers washes the dishes. Angrily.

want to drink (with) you | 1,1k | Piers is an embarrassing drunk. Leon loves him anyway.

and each one of us is a path somewhere | 22,2k | Piers gets thrown twenty years back in time. Into Raccoon City, 1998. He’d heard about what Leon went through that night, but he never thought he’d have to actually experience it himself. Together with bright eyed rookie Leon.

hold me close | 560w | Leon falls asleep against Piers’ shoulder.

goatee man | 890w | Piers thinks growing a beard might make him look more manly.

promises kept | 2,9k | Leon finds out Piers isn't dead after all. He's just locked up in a BSAA research facility with no one allowed in to visit.

stay with me tonight (stay until the end of life) | 2,2k | Leon doesn’t know I’m contacting you, but a fair warning, because I’m worried. He was found unconscious on the bathroom floor at 10AM. They took him to the hospital, but he checked himself out. Look after him, okay?

4am | 760w | “What can I say,” Piers grinned against Leon’s neck, “I was dreaming of you.” He had no reservations about moving his hips, letting Leon feel just how nice the dream had been.

caffeinated | 550w | Someone gives Piers coffee. Leon knows what to do with that excess energy.

and i'm you and you're me | 7,0k | The one wherein Leon and Piers accidentally swap bodies.

girls’ day in bed | 780w | Piers and Leon wake up one morning with boobs and other assorted lady parts. It’s a fun day. (Spoiler alert: they have a lot of sex.)

worlds apart | 3,2k | Krauser kidnaps Piers to lure Leon to him. (feat. past Krauser/Leon)

not again | 530w | Watching Piers’ mutation brings Leon some very unfortunate flashbacks. (feat. past Krauser/Leon)

gorgeous | 300w | Piers calls Leon gorgeous.

the most comfortable pillow | 350w | Leon falls asleep with his head on Piers’ lap.

beautiful | 840w | Even after losing an arm and ruining half of his face, Piers is the most beautiful thing to Leon.

as seen in adult films | 580w | Piers doesn’t know one damn thing about dishwashers. He volunteers to fix one anyway.

never letting go | 260w | Leon is goddamn comfortable right here. He isn’t going to move a single inch.

nose kisses | 390w | Piers is cute when he’s cranky. Just ask Leon.

no other half could ever make me whole | 6,3k | The one wherein they get a scare and there's a proposal.

the luxury of being held | 690w | The fabric of Piers’ hoodie is the perfect place to hide. (feat. Theo’s amazing art)

just one step from heaven, one step from paradise | 2,7k | The one wherein Piers makes sure Leon doesn’t freeze, and they enjoy their vacation.

all is fair in war, love and Mario Kart | 600w | Piers sucks at Mario Kart.

Chris/Leon

if i never see all my dreams come true, the one that mattered the most was you | 5,9k | Chris enlists Leon’s help on a mission as a clever ruse to make the man take a break he so obviously needs.

and I don't want to know how slow the time must flow | 11,1k | Chris and Leon try to fight their way out of a castle and feelings take over.

you are my heart, you are my home | 3,2k | Chris is sick, and he’s being extra dramatic about it.

from the gates of longing | 5,5k | Chris volunteers to take Leon home, but ends up getting a lot more than he bargained for.

how to accidentally get adopted - a guide by Piers Nivans | 2,3k | Piers accidentally keeps calling Chris dad, and Chris and Leon sort of unofficially adopt him.

right here by your side | 1,9k | When Chris shows up to check up on Leon, four days into his self-imposed flu-exile, at first Leon wants to just throw him out. But then it turns into a relationship-building moment and suddenly he can’t mind all that much.

about time | 1,8k | Leon is freezing. Chris warms him up.

yet you'll lose yourself in me | 3,3k | The one wherein Chris is generously proportioned and Leon kind of loves it. (whispers: size kink)

beyond tomorrow | 1,7k | Leon ends up in the hospital after a mission, Chris hurries to see if he’s okay. Claire is already there.

look at those heart-eyes | 180w | Quickly Chris shook his head, reluctantly pulling his attention away from Leon.

there’s a cat in the sink | 220w | “There’s a cat in the sink, and we don’t own a cat.”

from the future | 300w | It’s 1998 and Leon comes face to face with himself, from 2017.

surprise redfield | 250w | “Don’t worry,“ Chris says, nonchalantly as if it’s an everyday occurrence that he’s standing in Leon’s kitchen.

need this feeling to last (there's no denying) | 2,4k | “Why don’t you fuck me yourself, you coward!“

something solid, something good | 520w | Chris was so warm, and that together with all the glorious skin-on-skin contact made Leon happily sink back into the embrace.

come closer | 520w | Leon is done with Chris being so careful around him.

your arms around me | 690w | Chris woke up cold and alone.

a needed break | 440w | Sometimes Chris got so single-mindedly stuck on a task that he forgot everything around himself.

the iron maiden | 820w | Suddenly it was hard to breathe, like he couldn’t fill his lungs with oxygen no matter how much he tried, to the point that his vision started to get blurry.

robin hood: chris in tights | 480w | Chris’ face was twisted into a theatrical grimace as he tugged a little on the green tights we was wearing. They were like painted on and although he didn’t really have body issues in general, he couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about it.

luckless romance | 4,0k | Leon and Chris turn a drunken argument into something better. (Please note: The link takes you to the last part of six.)

take my hand | 920w | The worst part, by far, is not seeing anything. There are sounds, people talking like he isn’t even in the room, machines beeping and doors opening, quick busy steps against the floor.

let me take you to the edge of the stars and back again | 3,0k | Chris takes his sweet, sweet time before he gives Leon what he wants.

I’m going to seduce you | 1,1k | Jesus Christ, they’d had sex. Leon groaned again, this time less because of the headache and more because he felt so unbearably dumb. He’d probably had the best sex of his life, and he couldn’t remember it.

a little help | 430w | Those fucking idiots, Claire thought for the millionth time, as she watched her brother give the biggest dumbest heart eyes at Leon, who was blissfully oblivious about everything going on around him.

the way to anyone’s heart (the answer is food, good food) | 2,4k | Chris asks Leon to teach him how to cook. (Spoiler: Leon doesn't know how.)

oh the horror | 270w | “I seriously don’t understand why you want to watch this shit,” Leon groaned, pressing his face into Chris’ chest.

jealousy | 670w | Chris swallowed hard, downed the last of his beer, and took the leap. “I’m jealous okay.”

twist me up | 510w | Sure Chris had always known that Leon was flexible. Sure he had seen him even do these weird-ass yoga poses more than once. There was nothing new to it.

meet the parents | 600w | Leon brings Chris home for Christmas.

precious cargo | 930w | Chris lugs Leon around like luggage.

it's always been you | 870w | The hardest thing for Leon was when someone he cared about was in danger but there was nothing he could do about it. And then Chris fell into a ravine.

come away with me (to another world) | 2,0k | Leon finally gets a vacation.

first time sucker | 930w | “I don’t know, because it’s fun?” Leon said. “I promise you, you’re missing out.”

read my scars | 1,9k | Chris learns about Leon's scars.

battered and bruised | 650w | Ignoring the bruises and scrapes he had, Chris turned around and sprinted towards Leon, gritting his teeth against the strain moving put on his side.

a different kind of proposal | 500w | “If you keep fucking me this good,“ he breathed out, unsure if Chris even heard the words, “I’ll have to marry you.“

welcome home | 370w | The door had barely fallen shut behind Chris when Leon was in his personal space, grabbing him by the lapels of the trench coat he was wearing so he could pull him in close for a kiss.

I’d always choose you | 280w | Ada was something they didn’t talk about. When someone, anyone, brought her up Leon clammed up and changed the subject. And Chris had tried to be understanding, had tried to be patient, had tried his very best to respect Leon’s boundaries with this. But Chris was only human.

fuck or die | 1,7k | Chris gets hit by a weird plant, and his hard-on just will not go down. Until Leon takes matters into his hands.

i need a hug | 470w | “I think,“ Leon sighed, but then it was like all fight bled from him and he slumped a little forward. “I need a hug.“

oh no there’s only one bed | 990w | “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just one night. I’m sure you’ve slept with worse persons than me.”

the butt that became a pillow | 420w | Chris falls asleep on Leon.

like father like son | 2,8k | Leon finds out he has a son.

monster magnet | 1,1k | Leon didn’t know when it had become something he recognized so easily. When had it become so normal for mutated creatures to look at him with such unadulterated lust.

please be okay | 620w | Leon faints from sheer exhaustion.

like father like... grandson? | 4,1k | Liam proposes to a girl but ends up with Piers anyway. Chris and Leon are the friendly neighborhood grandpas. Their grandson is adorable, and Leon thinks he takes after him. Obviously. (feat. Piers/OMC)

black lace | 790w | Chris gets to come home to Leon in thigh high black lacy stockings and matching lingerie, instantly sending Chris’ brains into an overdrive.

at least let me help | 790w | Leon opens the door an inch, Chris uses the given opportunity to slam it wide open. Metaphorically speaking.

bridal style | 200w | Leon refuses the medical check up. So Chris carries him.

dance with me | 1,0k | Wedding planning with two schmoopy idiots in love.

drunken cravings | 480w | Chris and Leon are drunk, hungry, and incapable of cooking.

blow me | 650w | Chris gets his brains sucked out through his dick.

Claire knows best | 610w | Chris tries to set Leon up with Claire. Then Claire does set Leon up with Chris.

chase the demons away | 940w | Chris struggles with nightmares, Leon is there to hold him through them.

dance me to the end of love | 550w | Leon struggles to learn to dance.

Piers/Leon, Chris/Leon

fate changed (we keep loving as if the story isn't over yet) | 34,3k | In hindsight, Leon knew the second he opened the door and saw Chris standing there, dressed in his service uniform, mouth pinched to a grim line and unable to meet Leon’s gaze straight. There was only one logical reason for it, only one way to explain why he was standing there like he would rather be anywhere else, and Leon almost slammed the door right in his face. -- Or the one wherein no one really knows how to handle their grief, but somehow life goes on anyway. (I’m still so proud of this one negl)

Chris/Leon/Krauser

hearts beating fast (let's make this moment last) | 5,7k | Chris gets invited in for a threesome. The clever thing would’ve been to refuse, knowing his unrequited, helpless feelings. But then again, he’s just a man.

OT3

double the fun | 3,1k | Truthfully, Leon hadn’t thought his day could get this much better. Everything had gone wrong from the second he’d woken up and he’d already written the day off entirely, until the moment Chris had looked him dead in the eye and asked “How do you feel about two at once?”

of cuddles and blanket forts | 620w | Piers and Leon build a blanket fort. Chris would think they’re idiots, but they might actually be kind of brilliant.

hair straightener or waffle iron? | 310w | Chris and Piers break Leon’s hair straightener.

the last piece of the puzzle | 2,7k | The one wherein two becomes three.

not alone | 2,3k | Completely on accident, Piers and Chris happen to be there to save Leon from a tight spot. Cuddles ensue.

Krauser/Leon

drive me crazy (your eyes made me crave for this) | 2,3k | It was the best sex Krauser had ever had in his life. That’s why he kept coming back to Leon, kept saying ‘yes’ every single time the man as much as hinted that he might be up for meeting. He was getting off, and he was enjoying every second of it, and that was the extent of it. There certainly weren’t any feelings involved. None. None at all.

enjoying the view | 200w | Krauser likes ass-watching.

carry me to bed | 440w | Slowly Leon was coming back to his senses. Sweat was cooling on his skin, the hard surface of the table underneath him starting to feel uncomfortable.

and I lied that we would be fine | 1,1k | Leon knows he isn’t supposed to be doing this. There’s a vague recollection of something more important, something he should be focusing on, but the vast majority of his world has narrowed down onto the slick slide of their bodies, on the cheap scratchy sheets on his skin, on the sound of Krauser’s voice in his ear, and he can’t bring himself to care.

yet never enough | 1,9k | Krauser likes mirrors.

of wanting | 400w | Leon’s laughter echoed in the room as Krauser pinned him against the wall, before shutting him up with a ravenous kiss.

better with you | 590w | Despite knowing Krauser had his back, Leon was genuinely surprised when the man sat down right next to him instead of telling him to suck it up and get moving.

breakfast | 530w | Lately things had slowly begun to shift. And Leon wasn’t sure yet what was going on. Or how he felt about it.

kill me now | 900w | It was more than clear how much Krauser enjoyed their frantic attempts to kill one another, and Leon’s traitorous body shivered in response, the memory of times long gone returning like no time had passed at all.

lust that I've already spilled | 1,4k | “C’mon, Leon,” Krauser taunted, grinning as widened his stance. “This cock isn’t gonna suck itself.”

will you just look at me | 650w | Krauser refuses to do feelings.

Wesker/Chris

I am the light that shall lead you to darkness | 1,8k | In all honesty, Chris wasn’t entirely sure how he’d ended up here: a panting mess, bent over a massive wooden table with Wesker holding him down laughably easily.

the light to drown in darkness | 2,0k | Wesker craves Chris. So Wesker takes Chris.

love-hate-(obsession?) | 470w | Wesker is a lovesick fool. If he wasn’t also a homicidal maniac, Jill would almost feel sorry for him.

#the old guard #resident evil #kaysanova #chreon #metaltango #nivannedy #chrisker #kreon #idk what i'm forgetting it's 2 am and i've spent seven hours on this #have pity on me :'D #my fics #2020 #this was so much work #i am praying for the links to work properly #so i don't need to touch this again nnhhh

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itswildwinters · 4 years

Text

Hello lovelies and welcome to my October 2020 fic recs. These are the fics that I read these last few months. The main pairing is Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles.

This is also an appreciation post to all writers out there. Thank you for contributing so much to the fandom, for making all these incredible pieces of work for us all to read!

I’m wishing you all a happy Halloween in advance!

If you check out any of those incredible fics below, don’t forget to leave kudos and comments to show your appreciation!

Enjoy!

From What I’ve Tasted of Desire by @evilovesyou

When Louis moves to the small Scottish town of Fortrose to spend some time with his father, he thinks he's come to terms with the fact that the next two years of his life will be rainy and dull. That changes when he meets the ever-elusive Harry Styles in his Biology class and he makes it his goal to find out the big secret surrounding him and his family. Louis unexpectedly finds himself in the eye of a storm of secrecy, age-old myths, friendship and romance.

Twilight AU / Vampires / Werewolves / Slow Burn / Highschool & College AU

eyes off you by @soldouthaz

“Just promise me you’ll do whatever it takes to keep us all safe while we’re in there,” Liam says.

Through the crack in the door, Louis can just barely make out the broad curve of Harry’s back, the slope of his curls as they tumble down all sleep-soft and lazy, and the sharp twist of his arm - all leading down to where he’s got his pointer and middle finger crossed over each other behind his back.

“I promise,” he tells Liam firmly, “I promise.”

or; a charlie’s angels inspired fic where louis is the brains, harry is the charm, liam is the muscle, and niall drives the getaway car - and zayn is there, too. sometimes.

Action / Pining / Assassins (kill bad people)

Walls by Travis_Crux

Following his line of sight, he frowned and shook his head, "What's wrong?"

"Wasn't your timer on your ring finger?" Liam asked, at that the Alpha immediately swapped the tumbler and looked down at his finger which sported a string of tiny blue flowers on the underside of his ring finger.

The two of them looked at one another.

"You could've touched nearly fifty people by the time you grew delirious," Liam advocated, always the voice of reason. "Comrades, nurses, doctors."

Sighing, he turned away and continued drinking the water. Literally, the only fucking thing remaining in the middle of a fucking war.

Harry has his soulmate timer stuck at zero from the beginning of time but suddenly the fates show mercy and a lovely forget-me-not takes the place of his timer. In between finding his soulmate in a war camp and solving the puzzle of the charismatic doctor who is treating him, all he can hope for is to live.

ABO / World War I / Soulmates / Angst / Hurt-Comfort

works like a charm by @falsegoodnight

Ever since Louis joined the team in fifth year, a few facts have become set in stone.

One: Louis is the best chaser in Hogwarts.

Two: Harry is the best beater in Hogwarts.

Three: They do not get along.

So it’s really unfair of Liam to think that forcing them to spend time together as Louis recovers from his injury will make them the best of friends. The last thing Louis would do is get along with that git.

Harry Potter Setting / Porn With Plot / Enemies to Lovers

(quiet like a fight) fingers laced together by @letthemkissyou

It’s a thin hope, frail and as thin as the silver strands of a spider web, desperate in the way Louis keeps clinging onto it even when he’s already expecting and preparing for the worst. Maybe one day, he’ll have a home, a place where he can feel safe and sound, tucked away safely from the world that has the tendency to treat him horribly and then even worse, that maybe there will be someone in his life who cares for him, even if in the smallest of ways, and does not just use him for whatever they tend to need at the moment.

Or, the one where Harry is gifted a hybrid and it's a whole new world for the both of them.

Hybrid Louis / Past Abuse / Fluff / Angst

We’ll Cast Some Light (You’ll Be Alright) by fondleeds

There’s tense silence, the whole room completely hushed. The other teams on surrounding tables look between each other. Then, Louis pushes himself away from the table noisily, chair scraping. His face is angered and crumpled, red at the ears. The door slams behind him as he rushes out. The surrounding teams look at Harry simultaneously.

“God, Simon is going to kill us if we don’t die on this mission first,” Niall moans into his hands.

There’s a standard procedure for this. Scan, track, kill. But with a solar eclipse and a Greater Demon with unfinished business looming, the path to keeping England safe from harm becomes complicated and shadowed by mystery and secrets. For Harry and his team, times have never been harder, especially when a few old friends turned foes show up. Harry is left with just over forty days to overcome the hurdle of tension between them and reconcile their past, and figure out just what Louis is hiding from him before it’s too late.

Demons / Enemies to Lovers / Violence / Angst / Fluff / Demon Hunters / Smut

Three Days in February by @mercurial-madhouse

“We have to get out of here, outside,” Harry whispered, turning his hand in Louis’s grip to hold on and pull them both to their feet. “And how do we fucking do that?” Louis hissed, carefully rising and pulling Harry to his feet before Harry could do it. His gaze darted to the front then back of the arena. “None of the doors are where they’re supposed to be.” “What?” Harry looked around again too, couldn’t see any doors, only knew that they must be there, somewhere. “How do you know?” Confusion slid over Louis's features. “Because we’ve been here before, Haz. It’s the O2.” The show. It must be the first night of their tour. They were too late; they were out of time.

Louis is cursed after a night out with the lads and the five have just three days to figure out what happened and how to break it before Harry and Louis both lose their sanity and maybe something more. Louis can hear everything Harry thinks and Harry isn’t sure he can keep his feelings for Louis a secret from his own mind.

Ridiculous amounts of banter and angst, a lot of Harry and Louis alone together, a healthy dose of OT5 friendship, and one very magical weekend.

Friends to Lovers / Fluff / Angst / Action / Adventure / Magical Realism / Hurt-Comfort / Slow Burn

Soaked In The Blood Of Angels by @crazyupsetter

The boy looks drugged, caught between a man who’s almost twice his size and a girl who looks like she wouldn’t even break a sweat snapping him in half despite her small stature, eyes closed and mouth open as he pants, arching up between them almost as if he’s trying to escape.

Normally, Harry would ignore it and continue on his search for someone to drink from, someone who wouldn’t mind his sharp teeth and rough hands. He’s seen plenty of boys like this one, ones who picked the wrong playmates, and if he stopped to rescue every single one of them he would have died from thirst a long time ago.

This one, though. There’s something about this one, the sheen of his bright blue eyes as he blinks slowly, looks around as though he doesn’t know where he is, the weakness of his hands as he tries to push the girl off of him and make his escape.

Explicit Sexual Content / Vampires / Incubus / Dubious Consent / Blood / Violence

The Compulsion to Find Love by Toomanytears

The most prestigious English third-level institution, Candling University, accepts omega students for the first time and Louis Tomlinson applies with bright eyes and brighter ambitions. There he encounters personal obstacles, traditional mindsets and a beautiful boy who inverts every prejudice Louis has ever known.

ABO / Omega Louis / Alpha Harry / Worldbuilding / Slow Burn / Fluff / Angst

Just a bit of work by missyoutoosweetscheeks

It was quite painfully pathetic, really. Twenty five, stable job, stable flat, stable mind (well, quite), a painfully non-existent love life with an even more painfully intact virginity.

Marcel didn't think his life was going to get better with his painfully aparent sociopathic tendencies to block anyone who showed interest in him.

Until, of course, he became Louis Tomlinson's next prey.

In which Marcel is a virgin, and becomes his office's amorous co-worker's next big conquest.

Top Harry / Bottom Louis / Office Sex / Dubious Consent / Porn Without Plot

Fuck U Betta by @jacaranda-bloom

There’s something about having Louis like this, exposed and desperate, that makes a primal urge bubble up from deep inside Harry’s chest. Desire mixed with something else, something unquantifiable. It’s the thing that makes them want this, need this. Nothing else will satisfy them or quench their thirst.

OR the one where Harry likes the thrill of the chase, Louis likes to be chased, and everyone gets what they need… in the end.

Porn Without Plot / Light BDSM / Top Harry / Bottom Louis

push you out, pull you back in by @behisoneandonly

Harry grips his head in his hands helplessly, yanking the base of his dark curls and squeezing his eyes shut.

“Fucking hell,” he whispers, knuckles turning white from how hard he’s gripping the strands of his hair.

“Hey, hey,” says the petite stranger in front of him, quickly standing up. “Stop, you’re hurting yourself.”

–

Or Harry hates feeling vulnerable. Louis is set on breaking through his tough facade.

College/University AU / medical student Harry / Fashion student Louis / Strangers to Lovers / Pining / fluff / slight angst / Hut-Comfort / Anger Management

might we be stardust stories by ryanreynolds

"It was easier being at war."

In which werewolves and vampires have been fighting each other for a century, and Harry and Louis' marriage is what's gonna bring peace to the realm. Hopefully.

Werewolves / Vampires / Arranged Marriage / Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Pining / Fantasy

Like Candy In My Veins by littlelouishiccups

“Um…” Harry said slowly after a moment. “Okay. That’s… this is… Let me get this straight.” He lifted up a hand and swallowed. “You told your family that you have a boyfriend… and my name was the first one you thought of?” “Harry Potter was on TV, alright? It wasn’t that much of a stretch.” Louis pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t believe he was explaining himself to Harry fucking Styles. He couldn’t believe he was stooping this low. “Forget it. I’m sorry I even thought about bringing you into this.”

Harry snorted. “What? Did you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend or something?”

(Basically the A/B/O, enemies to lovers, fake relationship, Christmas AU that nobody asked for.)

ABO / Fake-Pretend Relationship

until this blood runs cold by @soldouthaz

In a town as small as Louis’, everybody knows everybody and gossip spreads faster than the wildfires that rage on just outside their backdoors in the sweltering heat of summer. When something happens here everyone knows about it within seconds. Neighbors call neighbors and notes are left on doorsteps, old telephone lines ringing until there isn’t a single person who is left in the unknown.

So it’s definitely hot gossip when a vampire moves in across the street from him, the very same one who’s just become Louis’ boss.

Vampire Harry / Frottage / Blood Drinking

call you mine by @falsegoodnight

“I have a request.”

That’s what Louis Tomlinson says to Harry when he opens the front door a bit too aggressively. The latter feels justified after a round of annoyingly incessant knocking that was much too loud in the drowsy sludge of early Saturday morning.

“Zayn’s asleep,” is Harry’s tired, hoarse reply, irritation prickling at his skin. Less than a minute ago he was in bed, feeling perfectly content sprawled out on the mattress with the chilled air from the fan cool against his bare skin. And now he’s leaning up against the wooden door frame in nothing but his briefs because Zayn’s best mate decided that showing up unannounced at seven in the fucking morning was a brilliant idea.

“I’m not here for him,” says Louis curtly.

Or, Louis’ curious about how it feels to be bitten. Harry’s going to need more than just one bite.

Plot What Porn / Vampire Harry / Bottom Louis

your biggest fan by @soldouthaz

Just like everyone else, Louis has a few habits that he can’t seem to break. Guilty pleasures, rather. His nails are perpetually short because he can’t quit biting them, the bottom of his shoes scuffed from tapping his foot constantly. Sometimes his leg gets a cramp from bouncing it so often underneath his desk. That isn't too bad, he reckons, just some average teenage coping mechanisms.

And also, occasionally, minor instances of theft.

Top Harry / Bottom Louis / Porn What Plot / Nerd Louis / Jock Harry

give me love by @falsegoodnight & @soldouthaz

Despite being an omega, Louis’ always had a blatant dislike of alphas.

Or, Louis doesn't feel like a good omega, Harry doesn't remember how to be an alpha, and they figure it out together.

ABO / Alpha Harry / Omega Louis / Bottom Louis / Past Relationship Trauma / Slow Burn / Angst / Fluff

The Stars Look Very Different Today by @kingsofeverything

For Harry Styles, child genius turned glorified spaceship mechanic, rescuing lost or broken down ships is a fairly common occurrence.

There’s nothing common about his latest mission, the ship, or that ship’s captain.

The last thing he expects to find in a distant galaxy is the one thing he’s been missing on Earth.

Space / Time-Travel / Science Fiction & Fantasy / Enemies to Lovers

The cat is out of the bag by 28sunflowers

Harry somehow gets himself stuck as a black cat on Halloween and needs help from Louis to change back into his human form.

The problem is: Louis doesn’t even know witches exist, much less that Harry is one. And there’s also the fact he thinks Harry is ghosting him after they had sex for the first time.

So the situations isn’t ideal. But it’s okay. Harry will figure something out.

Light angst / Witch Harry / Potions Accident / Fluff and Humour

#fic recs #october 2020 #larry stylinson

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dana-chan-the-control-brain · 3 years

Text

Happy new year everyone 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

I know 2020 has been hard for everyone.

And I want everyone to know, suffering isn't a contest and we all suffer in different ways. But I feel I should give my year in Review. Just some things that happened to me personally.

This was an intense, and long and spiritual and emotional journey for me...

I really discovered what it meant to have community, family and what my life means to me.

But I feel I need to get this in writing cause I can remember the year with vivid detail and I will probably forget if I don't get it down.

Do I have to share this publically online to my tumblr account for a bunch of strangers to see? not really.

Do I want to?

Yes. I think so. Just from how so many people on tumblr and real life have touched me.

This is kinda long and no one needs to read this.

(idk how to do a readmore on mobile. But this is where I would add it later. No one needs to read if they don't want to.)

January/February: (and some background on the last five years of my life cause.....well. it's important.)

As people knew, I got way into Invader Zim last summer. I spent most of my waking life working a dead end job at a grocery store. I lived a sad lonely life, going straight home to a single dark studio apartment. With not many material possessions outside of games, my laptop and my tablet to my name. Half of my material loves, such as home furnishings and books were still in boxes from when I moved in. In case I ever had to move again, or get some "big screenshot or copywriter" job in the city.

....

I lived in that city in the same dead end job and apartment for five years.

No friends. No social life. I often refused to make doctor appointments or attempt to establish myself in that city. I didn't even talk to anyone in my workplace.

Work. Go online. Go to sleep.

I lived like that for five years.

I thought it was good.

Even my therapist thought I was doing well.

When I really wasn't. My main character flaw I struggle with is motivation.

I can talk to someone about very detailed plans I have to fix a problem... But I tend to never follow through.

Just because I can describe in detail how to fix my personal problems, it doesn't mean I will do it.

(I have gotten better at this but it's a major struggle)

I might have been a Zombie during the day...

But by night I was pouring my soul into my AU and my analysis.

After being so thoughly ignored or overlooked by the Naruto fandom and the Undertale fandom, I felt like I had finally found my home and was settling into a community there.

I just loved that people loved what I had to say.

Especially my AU.

It's no secret that a lot of themes in my au revolve around found family, grief, and loss.......

Fatherhood, in particular.

What it means to be a father, how much do you need to try when you mess up, how willing should a child forgive their parent, especially those that have wronged you and how much of it is factually accurate and simply a self projection of what children want their parents to be and visa versa... What amount of forgiveness and change is nessasary...is it needed?

....

It's no secret that a lot of my AU is a giant coping mechanism for my Dad's death. Espessially the falling out and growing closer with a lot of my family members throughout the years following his death. (Most of the time I keep it ambiguous to how it relates to my personal life unless I include a readmore that states so outright. I feel my au can be enjoyed by a variety of people in the fandom who don't need to know me as a person or my life story.)

My Dad passed away in 2016 in February and my family still feels the aftershocks to this day.

It's part of the reason I moved to the city, alienated myself from my family and people that loved me and refused to experience life for five years.

My entire world was Zim, and I was okay.

March: When America finally realized and started to feel the effects of the pandemic....

A lot of people got scared.

Me included.

I didn't have any streaming services or access to the news. So I only heard accounts from my mom.

I didn't understand why the store was so dead quiet and empty for a few days, then it went into mass chaos and panic in the span of two days.

It felt like Retail black friday in the worst way. Everyone was packed like sardines. Everyone was yelling. The lines at the registers bled into the clothing department.

I was witness to customers shoving others for toilet paper, being rude to cashier's and just overall unpleasantness.

At the time, I didn't even fully grasp what the pandemic was, and I feel a lot of people at the time didn't either.

I ended up absentmindedly scratching my eyebrow in front of a customer and she screamed and villanised me for it. That they didn't want groceries touched by my "unclean hands"

I ended up breaking down into tears.

The customer behind me gave me a hug and told me I was doing a great job.

But the damage was done. It was the final straw, I couldn't stop crying and I was breaking apart.

Thankfully my Boss (the one who likes me) pulled me aside and asked what's wrong.

It was then that I quit. No notice. Same day. I had to get out of there.

I was planning to move to an apartment with my sister in the summer, but my Mom offered for me to move back in with her temperarily just so I can get out of the city and away from the pandemic.

So I did.

I got scared, broke my lease a month early and quit my job of five years that gave me nothing back.

He told me, "take care of yourself and your family, I won't keep you here, do what you need to do."

So I did.

April-June:

A very eventful few months.

My mom offered for me to live at her place, but for some reason she was acting like I would live there forever. That this wasn't a temporary arrangement, and that I didn't have an apartment set up already.

This was in large part to my sister, who had lived with my mom taking advantage of her for years.

Even though my sister and I were going to move in together, I was just never sure about it cause of how she never packed her stuff or made any effort to find a job.

My mom often acted like I was lazy and not searching and was treating me like... Well, an unruly teenager instead of a woman of 29 years. She acted like I was a failure for returning home when it was her idea in the first place.

I would have just been petrified in the city.

Like usual, I retreated to my au again.... And in the spring, something eventful happened.

In may, 8th 2020:

I was invited by @rissynicole to join an invader zim discord.

Now, I've never really used discord before. I always thought it's interface is too confusing.. and I'm a member of a few other iz discords and I usually don't follow them that closely.

Rissy assured me it was different cause some friends of thiers made it and it was smaller.

Before I knew it, I was sharing memes and getting to know everyone there.

It wasn't long after I invited my partner in IZ crimes, @paketdimensioncomic who was genuinely wary of iz servers due to a bad experience with the last one they were a part of.

But soon they were sharing memes and laughing with everyone else.

My eyes were starting to open and I was able to connect to fans of my work in an interpersonal way. And I was able to discover new artists and aus I never knew about.

I was also able to meet so many others of the community and invite them to the server myself.

The moo-ping 10 server kept me sane while I was living with my judgmental mother.

Not only that, the summer was very productive for my au.

Drawing was all I did, and it was a huge break from the job as a cashier I had.

Not only that, June came, and with it, me and Ceph's first collab fic:

A result of us just going back and forth in our DMs constantly about Professor Membrane and how he changed in ETF for the better and how much we adamantly stan "trying-to-be-a-good-dad-brane" and how much of his ETF development has to be implied off screen in order for the emotional resolution in the movie to matter.

The only reason I never professed my love for Membrane as a character in the fandom before the fic dropped was.... Well....

Membrane can be a decisive character in the fandom and I was so worried people would hate me if I did an analysis on him, simply because he's not the best parent in the world. (As an understatement)

Ceph and I really encouraged each other to scream our love for the science himbo loud and proud more frequently and so often.... I actually start to see less Membrane hate posts and breakdowns then their used to be.... I like to think it's a combination of Me and Ceph's influence, along with ETF and the Quarterly's painting Membrane in a slightly more nuanced light then he was previously.

I never wrote a collab fic before and it's such a rewarding and fun and unique experience that I don't think I'll ever have again. And I love working with Ceph on our fics so much.

So much so we did it again...

July-August:

I never thought I would be one of those people who writes NSFW IZ fic... But here I am.

The Brainbrane au started.... An au of my au where Membrane and the Computer fall in love and Membrane makes him a body.

This ship was based around the idea where we joked that Membrane and Zim's Computer would have funny interactions if they ever met, under the pretense Membrane thinks Computer is Zim's parent.

Our headcanons morphed and shifted until we just full blown started shipping them.

Just because Membrane and Zim's Computer have overall REALLY entertaining chemistry.

It's a character dynamic never seen in the show or comics (yet) and I imagine thier interactions to be nothing but entertaining banter.

The fic was also born from spite... Making fun of the troupes and cliches that we found personally destestible in some questionable zadr fics.

So an angry ace and a demi-bisexual collab on a porn and end up blessing the fandom with

Compapa headcanons,

Computer being recognized as a more common used fanon character,

The ship of Brainbrane.

The fandom having a crisis of "oh God, not only are we xenophiles we're technophiles too!!!" Or "why you gotta give Zim's Computer an ass"

More android Computer designs

It was an eventful summer.

In the midst of all this, I moved into my new place, got a new job, and I was able to see my friend (who is def my platonic straight soul mate) who lives in Indiana.

She came to visit, showed me how to decorate and how to take care of my body better! Things were looking up! It was great.

September-November:

My job was at a boat store. If was approaching the fall and my hours were being severely cut.

I was getting into a rut of depression again.

I thought things were changing but the same routine I was trying to escape from was the same thing coming back.

But instead of letting it take hold, I decided I was going to do something about it... I was gonna visit a museum and go with my sister. Just... variety stimulation.

Well that didn't happen.

I talked about this shortly in my au itself...but..

My sister had a complete mental breakdown.

She stopped taking her meds, went off the deep end and was in the hospital a total of five times throughout November.

A lot of it was acting out and the perfect storm of environmental factors that made her scream and act out so she would keep going back to the hospital.

It was traumatizing for me.

I just can't explain what it's like. For her and for me to be in that position.

I'm not telling the full story and a lot of bullshit things happened I won't share here.

She got diagnosed with bipolar one and my mom expected me to be a caretaker for her.

I threatened to disown my family and move away out of state.

It was just too much for me to handle.

So much I was a nervous wreck.

I tried to pick up a second job... Cause my sister was in the mental ward so frequently and couldn't pay the bills.

But I was fired within a week cause I was so stressed I couldn't retain the basic information they were training me for.

It was an office job.

My dream.

It could have been.

I was fired from something I really wanted.

I was only there for three days.

I could not retain any information.

I was a mess.

My sister was a trigger, my mom wanted me to live with her. I couldn't live like this.... I had to get out.

I had to get out.

December:

Remember my Indiana friend?

Well the first week of December is my birthday.

My 30th to be exact.

While I did pick up a seasonal position at Target (not my first pick)

I took the first week of December off so I could spend time with her. Cause she agreed, I needed a break from this crap.

Surviving 30 years is cause to celebrate and if I had to celebrate with my sister I would have cried.

I know there was a risk traveling out of state during a pandemic...

But I needed out, I needed a friend..

And I kinda wanted to look at the place since I was considering moving there.

My friend's mom was sick so she avoided me and her daughter and got us a hotel room.

It was fun! I got to swim in a salt water pool, we talked about Naruto, I showed her the iz and su art books I brought, also Computer and Membrane tea.

I also got to meet her other friends and get crunk. And her bf who is super nice and funny!

I had a super fun birthday....

Until her mom told my friend that her grandparents had covid and that was what she had. And my friend got sick within that same day.... As did I.

I owe so much to her family.

I was an entire state away...about a ten hour drive from home.... She let me stay at her house. "The covid house" we called it.

Cause everyone (except the father. He avoided everyone and booked a hotel immediately cus he was an ER doctor) had covid within a day.

I called in, the test results were positive and I had to stay with her family for ten days quarantine before I could work again.

Which would have been fine....

If my tumblr didn't log me out perminately of my old account. @dana-chan325 .... Which really sucked cause I had a constant headache and was too sick to engage with tumblr or much of the fandom. I didn't want to make a new account when my head was in a bad fog and I could barely breathe or smell.

It's not like I saw much of my friend either.... We all slept at different hours and she had more symptoms then I did.

It was just netflix, danganronpa v3 and cry.

I was miserable, but at the same time.... Not?

I really feel like God himself was the one who pulled me off from tumblr, and my living situation.

Maybe a whole extra week feeling like a bobblehead was what I needed.

It gave me some much needed clarity on my relationships with my mom and sis and friend.

Running away to Indiana was not the solution here.

Once I was better within ten days and no longer had a leave of absence, I drove home.

I am glad I fully recovered (but from how I understand it, my dear friend is still ill. I'm praying for her)

I might have gone to work a bit too soon, cause I had an asthma attack after trying to unload a single cart in the span of six hours.

My boss lectured that my speed was unacceptable, and even though I explained the covid situation and breathing problems many times, she threatened that I'd be fired if I'm that slow again.

Que the next few days of work where they put me on register.

Instantly I was sent into a panic remembering the last time I was on the register and how that panic attack caused me to quit.

I even asked if I could go back to stocking, since my breathing had improved. My boss assured me that I was put on the register cause they needed help and nothing to do with my covid thing.

Then as December concluded and the new year began, my boss said that this was the last shift for me cause my position was seasonal and they were letting a lot of people go.

I then asked why I was on the schedule for Sunday, and he told me to ignore it and I'm free to reapply for full-time.

I mean.... They can act smart about it...

But putting your general merchandise stocker onto register after she had an asthma attack and missed working the first two weeks of December due to covid.....

Not a good look.

So once again, I'm jobless once more.

Will probably continue to live with my sister for awhile.

But I do not feel as if it's a bad thing....

I met so many good people this year....

My friend's family even gave me 500 usd to cover my rent since I couldn't work for a majority of December.

I've seen evil and good from humanity this year. I've seen acts of god, good friends and what my real family means to me as well as friends I consider family.

This year really made me look back at the person in the mirror and say,

"I deserve better."

And actually worked for it this time.

Oh and after Christmas I got a horrible yeast infection that burns over most of my body currently.

Very accurate doodle to the pain I'm in right now.

(seriously my body is a fungus.)

But hey, good news, I respected myself enough to go to the doctor about it!!

So that's progress.

I really hope 2021 holds good things for me.

Thank you to the mooping 10 server for always being there and keeping me sane,

Thank you tumblr for liking my au and everything.

AND A SUPER SPECIAL THANK YOU TO @evartandadam and her family for housing me and my dumb diseased ass. Everyone, she is an angel and I can't express how much she means to me. Please check out her art and buy her stuff on redbubble.

Anyways... Byebye 2020.

I look forward to what I can accomplish for myself this year.

#danachan's posts #personal stuff #new year post #tw: covid #tw: yeast infection

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conaionaru · 3 years

Note

Hi so I have a request, so a modern reader from like 2020 (no COVID) get thrown back in time the the Viking era and meets the Ragnar, Auslaug, and the Ragnarssons. And reader explains what Christmas is in modern time. Thank you for your time.

Vikings Christmas request

Christmas carol

I wanted to post yesterday (on the 24th) but I was running on three hours of sleep and two servings of potato salad. So here is my "masterpiece".

I don't own the gif.

(Y/N) loved wintertime: the pretty white snow, the songs, the cookies, and hot cocoa. Everything was so beautiful and nice.

Even Christmas was fun, although she had to spend it alone. Her parents couldn't come this year, so she was all by her lonesome.

It shouldn't be so bad, they will video chat the whole evening, and then after some movies, she will go to sleep.

She wished for things to be like they used to when she still believed Santa bought all the presents. It was magical back then; now, it was mostly tradition and force of habit.

(Y/N) put on some music while putting the last finishing touches to her tree. It was small and fake, but it was pretty nonetheless.

Her coffee pot was nearly done heating her water, and in time, the video chat would start. So all she had to do was pour her tea and sit on the couch.

"AAAAnd done." The red tree deco looked okay enough to let it slide. "Just the tea and some cookies. I am thinking of cinnamon. What do you think, Petunia?"

Her three-year-old mops looked up from her spot on the couch and yawned. "I take that as a yes. Or is my face boring you?"

The dog yawned again and laid down back to sleep. (Y/N) watched the lazy dog with a deadpan expression, rueing the day she let the pup get lazy like this. The dog is always like the master anyway. This way, they have at least something in common.

The (h/c) haired girl run past the couch to get to the kitchen when she tripped on the rug and face planted the ground. "Fuuuck mee."

"When you are asking so nicely." (Y/N) groaned at the teasing male voice. She was in no mood for mockery at Christmas.

Her head snapped up when her brain finally realized there was no one to talk back to her other than Petunia. And the female dog definitely didn't sound like a man. Or talk at all!

She looked at the man before her dressed in strange clothing with flaxen hair tied in braids. "Who the hell are you?"

"We could ask you the same. You are the one who fell in through the door."

"Not that we are complaining."

"Shut up, Hvitserk." (Y/N) observed the three men, all dressed in medieval clothing with braided hair.

"What are you boys doing?" A woman asked, walking into the big hall from behind a curtain. She was prettier and more graceful than any woman (Y/N) ever saw.

"She barged in." One of the boys spoke up. One of his eyes was strange and looked like a snake eye.

"I am sorry. I have no idea what happened. I was just decorating my Christmas tree when I tripped. Next thing I know, I am here." (Y/N) looked around confused as Hvitserk helped her up.

"Christmas? What is that?" The snake-eyed boy questioned.

"Christ. She must be a Christian!" The voice belonged to another boy; this one crawled next to the graceful lady.

(Y/N) shook her head rapidly when she saw the boy pull out an axe. "Christmas. You know, the holiday in winter? Gifts, fish, and decorated pine trees?"

Everyone watched her in wonder and confusion; the youngest seemed psychotic. The door opened once again, and another man walked in. This one was older and looked like the oldest of the brothers.

"She is crazy. Broke in and talked about some weird things!"

"Shut up, Sigurd! No one cares." The mother frowned at her son, and halfheartedly scolded him.

"She mentioned something called Christmas," Ubbe explained to his father, who nodded in understanding.

Ragnar walked to (Y/N) and introduced himself. "Christmas is a Christian holiday. Like Yul, but they celebrate their Jesus."

"Is this true? So you are a Christian then." Aslaug murmured and looked down at her in contempt.

(Y/N) smiled awkwardly and shook her head, trying to defuse the tension. "It is not only celebrated by Christians. Some people just give gifts to each other and spent time with their families. Eat and drink while listening to music. Not everyone goes to churches."

The family nodded and invited her to sit. They didn't think her a threat anymore. Her strange clothes and English accent were more interesting. But there were some things about Christmas that interested them more.

"The songs?"

"Yes! Are they good?"

"They are great. Some singers make Christmas themed songs. Some are catchy, others annoying. But the traditional ones are very good." Sigurd grinned at the knowledge and toasted to her words.

"What else do you Christians do?" Ivar spat. Out of all the brothers, he seemed the most annoyed with her. He hated her all the same, even if she didn't tell him what faith she had.

Ragnar found her amusing, like a child with a new puppy. Aslaug didn't trust her much while Ubbe and Hvitserk kept flirting with her. At least Ubbe wasn't so blunt about it, other than Hvitserk. He kept on suggesting showing her their traditions in bed and how good he was at them. Sigurd was cautious and Ivar hateful.

But all her talking of Christmas was making her sad. More than anything, she wanted to go home and see her parents and Petunia. Not play teacher for a bunch of Vikings. No matter how attractive they all were.

"My family used to play games to pass the time. We sang songs and told stories." (Y/N) smiled a sad smile at the memories.

Aslaug left to pray to the gods for answers. She wanted to find out how to send (Y/N) home. Ragnar left his sons with the foreigner to get ready for some sacrifice they would hold for Yul.

"Do you have some traditions that are more fun?" Hvitserk teased, leaning closer into her personal space.

"Ehm... Kissing. We kiss under the mistletoe."

Hvitserk smirked at that and ran off to find some of the plants, not giving up on his chance with the (h/c).

"You seem sad. Why is that?" Ubbe asked, watching her in confusion.

"I miss my home. My parent too, and my dog."

Ubbe and Sigurd left as well, bored by her already. Ivar was the last one left and kept glaring at her in silence. The boy made her uneasy.

He reached into his pocket and threw something at her. "My necklace?"

"You dropped it when you arrived. It has a picture in it." (Y/N) opened the necklace; inside was a photo of her with her parents when she was younger.

The (h/c) trailed her thumb over their faces, tears gathering in her (e/c) eyes. "They must be so worried. I was supposed to call them, and now I have been here for three hours."

Ivar frowned at her sentiment and left her alone too. (Y/N) sat in the hall alone, crying silently over the photo.

"Protection runes to keep you safe and return you home safely," Aslaug announced, handing the girl a wooden carving.

"Thank you." The Queen smiled at her and stalked off to start the ritual that would bring her home.

Ivar returned as well, handing her an item too. "You said you play games. Play Hnefatafl with me. And stop crying; it's annoying."

So she played with the youngest son of Ragnar Lothbrok. The boy may say what he wants, but her happiness bothered him more than he let on.

After her eleventh lost game in a row, she had enough of his teasing. "Thank you very much, Ivar. It was fun. Even though you crushed all the pride and confidence, I had."

Ivar smirked in victory, but his smile froze when he felt her kiss on his forehead. "You are nicer than you seem." He opened his mouth to tell her off, but she wasn't there anymore.

Hvitserk barged in, breathing heavily with mistletoe in his hands. Ivar ignored his annoying complaints and touched his forehead in wonder.

When he prayed to the gods for Yul to be different, he didn't imagine them sending a girl from the future. He looked down at the Hnefatafl board and smiled. He got his wish anyway.

(Y/N) woke up on the carpet to Petunias barking in her ear. The tea cattle whistled on the stove, and her phone rang loudly.

"I am home." When the words caught up to her brain, she jumped up in glee. "Petunia, I am home! I bet I was just dreaming. That's all. Just a dream from my concussion."

She walked around her apartment to turn off the cattle and pick up the call. The whole time she didn't notice the wooden carving covered in runes—the only proof of her adventure.

#vikings #ivar the boneless #ivar lothbrok #history vikings #vikings imagine

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moonprincessdiviniation · 4 years

Text

Pick A Card - October 2020

**All readings are open to interpretation and are meant as a guide. Nothing is set in stone and nothing should be treated as fact. Not everything will resonate, so take what does and leave the rest. If no pile resonates, it just means your message isn't in this post. But thank you for reading and I hope your month is transformative and full of good energy** 💜

Pick A Card Photos

Pile 1 - 🎃

Pile 2 - 🦋

Pile 3 - 💙🇺🇸

Pile 4 - ⭐🇺🇸

**Every pile is going to be different in terms of how many cards fell out. I tried to keep a set number in mind, but spirit urged me to take more with certain piles**

Pile 1 - 🎃

The general theme for the month of October

My pile ones have been through some stuff 😔 this month is about reminding yourself with what you've still got or who you still have in your life. For those of you who feel that you have nothing/no one, the fact that you are still here after going through this, is proof enough that you're strong enough to face anything life throws at you. Take this time to do that thing you've been considering or working on, really work hard and think through it seriously, you've got the power within you to put it into action. Use this thing that you're putting so much work into to get stronger within yourself. It's not just anyone that can do this thing you're working hard towards, so the fact that you're doing it and are going to do well in it? Should tell you how amazing and talented you are 💜 so take this as an ego boost and embrace it. Look for the truths in the things and relationships around you. Decide who and what you want to continue putting your energy into. It's time to let go of things and people that are no longer serving you to make room for things and people that will. A possible love interest might be coming, or some really happy news you've been waiting for. Everything that happened before this was designed to help you get to this point, it was a part of your divine plan. I cannot pinpoint what this big thing is, as divine timing is hiding it, but it's everything you've been asking for. So take comfort that so long as you don't give up, you've almost reached the end of the dark tunnel. Happiness is waiting for you, don't let it escape you because your shadows and ego are holding you back. 💜 You've got this my pile ones.

Things to look forward to:

Things are calming down, lots of peace, quiet, stillness and that moment to catch your breath

Strengthening your gifts, receiving new ones or learning you have them

Things to look out for:

Learn to be more flexible with your time and energy, you'll be tested

Take this time to say no to things. It's okay if you're not ready for something, don't half the work and turn it in, it'll do more harm than good.

Stop putting your energy in the future or looking at the past, they cannot serve you now. Focus on right here, right now, or this will be another thing you contemplate on

Advice:

Take this time to nurture yourself and settle down. Take that break from school or work, spend that lazy day lounging around the house in a face mask while picking up your room. Remember, those clothes you picked up from the floor for two minutes is one less thing you have to do and will feel so good to do. Or curl up watching a show you've seen a thousand and one times because it makes you feel better. Do something that will feed your soul and body at the same time, your guides are urging you to. Protect your energy, release the connections you make in a day and return them, take back the energy you gave. Now is the time to take care of yourself, rely on the fact that you know what's best for you. Ask your guides to protect you, guide you away from people and things that won't serve you a good purpose. You're on your way to being a great guiding influence, a teacher to those who need it. But it's being suppressed, so you're not seeing the things you should, grasping into the full power you're capable of. It's time to focus on the things and connections you've been neglecting. Do the things you've been saying you'll get to, take a break from the things you keep doing daily that aren't serving you anything substantial. It's time to bring balance back into your life, in whatever way that means for you 💜

Pile 2 - 🦋

The general theme for the month of October

My pile twos are my mom best friend moonbeams 💜 you work hard on your personal and business lives. I'm seeing it's been hard to find a balance between the two lately and it's starting to take a toll on you. You're starting to question yourself and the intentions of others around you, which is causing inner turmoil. You're finding it hard to trust yourself and the strength you usually have towards situations like this. But fear not, good news is coming! It could be in the form of finances, but that might not be the only thing for some cases, so be open to things. I see you're juggling a lot too, finding it hard to just focus on one thing for too long. You are not superhuman, please take my advice and follow the 20/5 rule. Spend twenty uninterrupted minutes (no answering notifications, getting up to grab that snack you're suddenly craving, scrolling through socials, whatever the distraction is) doing one task at a time. Then after those twenty minutes have passed, answer the notifications, scroll through socials, grab the snack. But time yourself, don't cave. You've been manifesting too, something or someone in your life to help things along. They or it, is just around the corner and this will be a time of learning for you. Everything is starting to fall into place for you, it's just going to take a little while longer for things to stabilize, have patience. 💜

Things to look forward to:

A strengthening within connections you've made. Whether it's family or friends, you're rebuilding those connections and making them better than they've been. This could also point to inner healing, so prepare for some time out to reflect on past actions and how to learn from them.

For some of you this is going to be a step back, but it's a good month for being homebodies. Now is the time to stay home, take that break. For some of you who have been stuck wherever because of covid, this might be a point that you can return home soon.

Things to look out for:

A lot of you are forgetting where you came from, your roots. So expect to be brought back down from the cloud you're on to be reminded.

Some of you are lacking in family or friend relationships. Your relationships might be tested that you still want them in your life, or how much they think you care about them

Advice:

Now is the time to really sit down with yourself and ask what it is that you want in this life. You're losing your purpose and getting derailed from your track. Some of you might be overwhelmed or lashing out at those around you because of things that appear in your mind, or emotions that spring out of nowhere. Have patience and don't stress too much, you're reaching a spiritual awakening and it's come at this time to make you stronger for this thing or person you've been asking for. Take some time out to take care of yourself, have a long bath and look within, ask yourself what the core issue was during these times. It'll help the process go by quicker if you can be honest with yourself and become more self aware of your actions. Take this time to get outside, reconnect with nature and yourself. Remind yourself why you have to take time out like this, feed your soul. For some of you I keep hearing your chakras are blocked, your heart, crown or root chakras to be more exact. A lot of you have been afraid to take some big leap and it's caused you to be stagnant. Your guides are saying they're going to force it out of you by bringing something to light a fire under your butt. So take the leap when the time comes and get out of your comfort zone or you're going to get burned and all your hard work will come undone. They're trying to help you, so allow them to by working and trusting in them. 💜

Pile 3 - 💙🇺🇸

The general theme for the month of October

Something unexpected and drastic happened to my pile threes recently. Things are changing for you, they're getting better in this month. They're settling down and calming down for you. But now is the time for you to do lots of planning. Whatever happened really changed a lot of the things in your future, so you have to adjust and move things around for your well-being. It's time to take that big leap of faith you've been waiting to do. Your guides protected you from making this leap previously because they knew this event had to happen first. They didn't want you to fall mid leap and take away the wrong message. Nothing is holding you back now, take that big step. Be happy in your decision to do this thing you've been waiting for. Work hard, put your all into whatever this is and prove to yourself and others that you're capable of anything 💜 You have everything within you to bring this thing into something stable and to attract positive things. You're full of determination, power and the universe wants you to succeed this time. So don't hold back, jump and give it your all, this is your sign to do it. You will be tested in the midst of this hard work, but it's to help bring forward a new opportunity for you. So be mindful of what you do and who you put your energy into so you aren't derailed for too long. This new opportunity will seem like something you shouldn't invest time into, but it's exactly what you need to continue forward. So embrace the uncomfortable feeling for just a little while, eventually you'll get to where you need to be.

Things to look forward to:

Finances will be better. You'll get that job you were hoping for, or income will start to be more stable

Lots of risks to take. You'll see how much fun it is to put your faith into the universes hands and trust that things will work out without stressing

Things to look out for:

You'll want to keep fighting for something and will keep failing. This is the universe telling you that you aren't meant for this. To let it go and look for something/someone else

This is a rough transition for some of you, so be mindful of your emotional health. Do things that make you happy, don't let yourself be too overwhelmed by things

Trust that things happen for a reason and don't question them

Be more creative, you've been drowning in stagnant routines and people, feed your creativity

Advice:

It may not feel like it, but everything that has happened was divinely guided. These events were put in place to make you a better and stronger person for the planned things ahead. Trust in the universe, it knows what it's doing. Now isn't the time to be a wallflower or to follow the crowd. You have a voice, a style, an opinion, share them. They're what's going to help break you out from the usual mold. You're meant to be a leader, so prove to yourself and others that you are. Don't let others drown out what you have to say or take away your spotlight. You have a gift, a light you're meant to share with others. Your soul has been training you for this for lifetimes, keep working towards your goal. You're almost there to the end of your goal, something big is coming. You're not ready for it yet, so it's not coming any time soon. But it's in the process of forming, it or they are waiting for you to push through this last hurdle. Don't keep it or them waiting any longer 💜

Pile 4 - ⭐🇺🇸

The theme for the month of October

Oh pile fours, you've been biting off more than you can chew. Or at the very least, finding it hard to focus on what it is that you've been wanting to do. You're constantly overwhelmed, looking for something to call out to you and hoping something sticks. You're going to continue feeling like this until you slow down, take time out for yourself and really isolate from others. You need to be able to hear your own thoughts and emotions. But you can't do that if you're constantly immersing yourselves in tv shows, movies and friend drama. You've got to listen to you, figure out what it is that you really want to do. What do you like doing? What are you not fond of? Is there something you could be doing better? You can't answer any of these questions if you're avoiding them. Things are stuck and unable to get better if you can't find the time to get a better sense of understanding of your situation. No one can answer these questions for you, you have to face them yourself. Don't tell the other piles this 🙈 but I'm pretty sure this is my soulmate/twin flame pile. It's rare to get a couple in a reading and this is the only pile with one. If your person isn't coming this month, they're just around the corner. So get to work on that inner work you've been avoiding or you'll miss your chance to meet them sooner. You've been waiting for each other for so long, don't let your ego prevent you from seeing each other any longer.

Things to look forward to:

Things are going to be very stable and you're finally going to be putting those untouched things in their place. Work will be put in for a better outcome

In turn, a strong foundation will be built on top of that hard work. Something you've been asking for will be coming 👀 mayhaps the TF/soulmate?

Things to look out for:

Don't get too lost in your head. It's good to visit, but lingering for too long will leave you stagnant

Breaks are good! But don't go overboard. If you do fifteen minutes of clean up and then reward yourself by chilling watching Netflix for the rest of the night, it's counterproductive.

Advice:

You're so worried about the things you have to do, that you don't even realize you've been doing them. You've already put in the work before, you just have to finish it. It's not as hard as you're overthinking it is. Let loose, have some fun, watch some movies or shows. Take a break if you absolutely need to, just to let go of this seriousness you're holding onto about this. But take care of the work that needs to be done when you're finished. You can't expect to move forward if you don't want to put in the work. You have a job to do with bringing in this new spiritual awakening for those of us in the spiritual community. Even those of us who aren't feel it, they just chalk it up to a new season or a new moon. You and your person are meant to do great things and shift things for the rest of us. But it won't happen if you don't do the work. Release those negative thoughts and feelings. Let go of old energies that no longer serve you and say to yourself that you're no longer going to make the same mistakes you made previously. You're not like your family and in order to pass on that new mindset to your future family and friends, you have to start by being the example. Believe in the path that's waiting for you. Trust in the universe, it's working so hard for you. Don't keep it waiting 💜

#pick a pile #pick a card #free tarot #free readings #tarot #tarotblr

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min-youngis · 4 years

Text

Leave The Bourbon On The Shelf

gif not mine (i can't look away, though)

leave the bourbon on the shelf / and i'll drink it by myself / and i love you endlessly / darling don't you see / i'm not satisfied - Leave The Bourbon On The Shelf, The Killers

~ Pairing : Park Jimin x Reader

~ Genre : Fluff, Humour

~ Rating : PG-13 (¿)

~ Summary/Excerpt : You may not have the real thing for the next few months, but as you take in the way his neck moves with every sip, the crinkle of his eyes as he laughs at something you say, the angle at which the dim, yellow hotel room night light falls on his face and the languid, relaxed stoop of his shoulders as they occasionally shake with giggles, you think you’ll do just fine with this temporary, pixelated substitute.

Established Relationship

~ Word Count : 2,243

~ Warnings : swearing, alcohol, one mention of s*x

~ A/N : 'a writer's greatest resource is wikihow' - me, 2020. jimin has a very pretty neck and eyes and hair and hands and face and laugh and smile and personality.

i'd love to hear feedback! spread the love!

masterlist in my description.

~~~

You unlock the front door and step into the musty house, slipping off your sandals in the foyer. Consulting the list on your phone, you make your way to the living room, at the corner of which there’s a large, deeply thrumming fish tank.

Feed Nemo and Dory.

Snorting softly, you look at the two Koi fish, swimming around in the water, that look nothing like their namesakes. With an amused shake of your head, you dutifully pick up the aquarium fish feed bottle that’s stood next to the lit up tank and undo the lid, shaking it over the water so the flakes fall in, bidding the fish to rush towards the food.

Satisfied, you move on to item number two on the list.

Clean sides of tank with algae pad. Remember to turn off the filter.

You look up, wondering where on earth the algae pad could be and if this is a good enough reason to call him. Giving a cursory glance around the room, just so you can feel like you’ve searched at least a little bit, your stomach gives a sad little flop as you notice it sitting right there on the shelf next to the tank.

Shaking off the irrational disappointment, you turn off the filter, strongly reminded of an afternoon the previous week, when he had wagged a finger in your face, pinning you to the couch with his stern gaze, explaining his fish tank cleaning instructions for the third time before he finally sent the house sitting list to you. You don’t remember much of the lecture, but you do remember the way his freshly dyed pink hair had lain on his forehead and the way his bracelets had jingled a little bit every time he wildly demonstrated his technique.

You’ve always had a short attention span, so it really is his fault for drawing out the explanation for as long as he did and spending ten minutes talking about how you should open the front door, despite the fact that you’ve done it countless times before.

Slipping on the rubber gloves that are next to the pad, you gently scrub the sides of the tank, trying to emulate the method that you’d seen him use. You ignore the weird, squelchy feeling as water slips into your glove, and once you see an actual difference in the glass, you pull your hand out, making sure to switch the filter on again.

Item number three.

Tell them they look pretty today.

You look doubtfully at the fish swimming around, done with their food and looking stupidly blank. Small? Yes. Fast when they want to be? Probably. But pretty? Decidedly not.

Feeling incredibly foolish, you bend down to fish eye level and mutter, “You both look very...orange today.”

Determining that this is good enough for Jimin and his excessively demanding Koi, you proceed to the next point.

Make sure they’re happy before moving on to next point.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Feeling increasingly frustrated, you bend back down, making eye contact with one dumbly floating fish. You don’t know what to expect, how to determine a fish's happiness.

“Here, fishy fishy fishy,” you mumble in a faux, high pitched voice, sounding shockingly like Jimin when he whines for something. Vaguely, you think of the energy meter on top of the puffles in Club Penguin, and wonder whether the Kois’ would increase, if they had one.

The fish you’re looking at gives no acknowledgement, simply turning away and swimming in the opposite direction in the spacious tank. Figuring that you’ll have better luck with the other one (Nemo? Dory? How on earth does he tell the difference?), you look at it, only for your heart to veritably stop beating for a second as you take in its stationary, close eyed form.

With your pulse in your ears, you gingerly let your finger dip into the tank, moving to tap the body. “Oh, don’t be dead, don’t be dead. I promise, you look very pretty today, please don’t be dead, Jimin will kill me – Oh, hello.”

The moment your index finger touches its scales, its eyes shoot open and it darts away from you after casting what you’re sure is a glare in your direction. Feeling half rueful that you woke it up from a nap and half relieved that it’s at least moving, you wipe your finger on your jeans, deciding that Jimin will have to settle for Koi that are alive, if not particularly pleased.

You simply ignore the next point on the word document he had sent you (‘Are you absolutely sure they’re happy?’), and move on to Water the plants. Use the green can. Do not use the blue can. I will know if you do.

Not taking very kindly to his tone, you obstinately stalk over to the utility counter and purposefully pick up the blue can, pointedly ignoring the green one that’s sitting next to it.

“Fuck you,” you mutter, taking a quick video as you fill it with water from the kitchen tap before moving to the balcony and sending the file to Jimin before pouring the right amount of water into each of the five pots. This step also had long, winding instructions. You clearly remember him from a week ago, drawing you out into the balcony one night under the guise of ‘A date under the stars, Y/N, it'll be romantic!’ only to royally screw you over and start explaining how much water his mini lotuses and peace lilies required. It had almost made you revoke your offer to house sit when he was away.

Once you’ve finished, you move on to the next item, absentmindedly placing the empty can back up on the shelf and drying your hands on a kitchen towel.

Reassure them that they’re loved and that daddy will be back soon.

Unable to stop yourself, you laugh out loud into the empty house at the wording, knowing that Jimin must have had a field day while typing that. You make your way to the balcony double doors that you’ve already locked shut. Too lazy to unlock them, you press your nose to the glass and look straight at the plants as the afternoon sunlight falls on them, feeling like you’re about to give a sermon to a comatose audience of five.

“You’re all, uh, very loved and daddy will be back soon,” you say, giggling through your words.

Calming yourself, you move to the next point.

Read the whole list again, but this time replace ‘they’ with ‘you'

Confused, you scroll back up, letting your eyes roam over the words. The first two points don’t make a lot of sense but at the third, a small grin replaces your quizzical frown.

You look pretty today.

Make sure you’re happy before moving on to next point.

Are you absolutely sure you’re happy?

Your dopey smile gives way to a chortle at You’re loved and daddy will be back soon, and as if on cue, your phone begins to vibrate with a video call from Jimin.

You eagerly accept, still chuckling, and say to his grainy, tired but happy face without preamble, “In what universe are you my daddy?”

His grin grows and he lets out a little giggle. His eyes are twinkling with mirth as he replies, “So you went, then?”

“I’m here right now,” you say, moving your phone farther away so he can see that you’re standing in his living room in front of the television.

“Did you finish the list?” he asks, running a hand through his hair, and you greedily take in the way the strands fall back down gracefully. You can make out a headboard and hotel room wallpaper behind him, a weirdly mundane backdrop to his shining, post concert face, still alight with excitement and adrenaline.

“Almost. I’ve just finished the super romantic eighth point.”

“Are Nemo and Dory happy?” he asks, smugly grinning at your comment.

With a roll of your eyes, you reply, “Yes, yes, Nemo and Dory are very happy.”

“And my lotuses?”

“You haven’t named them?”

“I don’t want them to feel restricted in their growth.”

Scoffing, you answer again, “Your plants are also very happy. Very, uh, green and such.”

Satisfied, he leans back on the headboard, taking his phone along with him so you’re given a lovely view of the insides of his nostrils as he adjusts himself into a comfortable position.

“How was the show?” you ask once he’s stopped shuffling around and you’re looking at his much more pleasing visage.

“It was awesome! The new army bomb changes colours now, it looked beautiful in the dark.”

You hum in reply, feeling a warm glow as you watch him continue talking about the concert. Tour means distance but more importantly, tour means performing every night, meeting new fans, and travel and different food. And it’s always fun reuniting when he’s back. In the non biblical sense.

It doesn’t mean you don’t miss him, because it’s only been a week but you feel like it’s been months since you last held his positively tiny hand, but you’ve successfully talked yourself into being mature and rational about this.

“You should read the last few points on the list,” he says abruptly at the end of his rant.

Switching apps, you threateningly warn, “Jimin, I swear if it involves telling your dumb fish-"

“Don’t call Nemo and Dory dumb!”

“-that they look pretty one more time, I’m hanging up on you.”

“Just read it, will you?”

Open liquor cabinet

“Why, you’ve got a pet spider in there that needs some tender loving care?”

Snorting, he impatiently flaps an arm at you to get you going, and you get up from your comfortable position on the couch, muttering about being made to move.

Mostly empty, the shelf has an expensive looking bottle of whiskey sitting in the front with a post it stuck on top of the label that reads ‘FOR TOUR'.

“Did you forget to carry the bottle with you or something? Can you even get alcohol past customs, how does that work?”

At the end of your sentence, you look back at your phone screen only to see Jimin with a wide grin on his face, one hand proudly holding up his own, similar glass bottle by the neck.

“It’s for you! So we can drink together!”

Slightly disbelieving, with a raised eyebrow, you ask, “So your solution for a temporarily long distance relationship is...alcoholism?” There’s no real bite in your words, though. You can see the wisdom in the plan. Wisdom that has strong root in the fact that you would never be able to afford a bottle that fancy.

“Look, I might be here and you might be there-"

“No, really?”

“-but we can still drink together!” he continues, ignoring your snarky interruption.

“Why can’t we eat together? Or watch a movie together?”

Raising his eyebrow and giving you a long, dramatic sigh, he slowly brings his own bottle down. “Okay, if you don’t want to, I guess I could just drink this very pricey, very imported bottle all by myself.”

“How can something be very imported?”

“Listen, do you want to drink or not?” he impatiently bursts, sternly looking at you through the screen. The effect is a little muted, due to the fact that his video gets stuck at that exact instant, eyebrows scrunched and lips stuck in a petulant pout, but it serves its purpose as you rush to bring the bottle down from the shelf while rapidly saying, “Okay, okay, yes, I want to drink with you.”

With a momentary painful screech of static, Jimin’s face resumes movement, morphing into content self-satisfaction.

Setting the phone down, you twist open the crystal cap of the bottle, proceeding to pour it into a glass.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep? You seem pretty tired.”

He waves away your concern as he gets his own glass from the hotel room kitchenette. “We've got a free morning tomorrow, I can sleep in. You’ve got a ride back?”

“Oh, am I not taking this bottle home and drinking it there?” you tease.

“I want to spend some quality time with my plants, I miss them.”

Giggling, as you settle into your previous position on the couch, now cross legged with a glass full of whiskey in your hand, you reply, “I can call Hyejin, no problem.”

“Lovely,” he says with a grin as pleased as punch spreading across his face as he similarly sits down on an arm chair at the corner of his room. Behind him, you can make out the beige blinds that are so typical to the fancy hotels in which the company books them rooms. “Now, tell me, Y/N. How are your side hoes doing?”

“Peachy,” you reply, taking a sip of your drink as you indulgently watch Jimin do the same through his phone that’s perched on the coffee table in front of him.

You may not have the real thing for the next few months, but as you take in the way his neck moves with every sip, the crinkle of his eyes as he laughs at something you say, the angle at which the dim, yellow hotel room night light falls on his face and the languid, relaxed stoop of his shoulders as they occasionally shake with giggles, you think you’ll do just fine with this temporary, pixelated substitute.

147 notes · View notes

eschergirls · 4 years

Photo

Originally posted at: https://eschergirls.com/photo/2020/04/22/guaranteed-get-female-your-bag

Another gem from Jess Morrissette on Twitter:

"What if we simply played to our strengths? What if we're so good at gaming, it somehow triggers an 'I want the alpha male' response in females?" A Game Geek's Guide to Getting Girls (PC Accelerator, February 2000).

I know PC Accelerator was trying to be a Maxim for gamers thing but holy crumbs. Even as comedy this comes up short. I almost would say you could make a drinking game out of reading this article but you'd probably die taking shots whenever "a female" showed up. Also extra points for the advice to hide your gaming interest from a woman until you "bag" her because not letting your partner know about an important hobby in your life is a great way to make sure she's interested in it. >_>

Transcription for screenreaders (thanks again to Bella (@MoviePosters00) for the transcription):

A GAME GEEK’S GUIDE TO GETTING GIRLS

Okay palm-shavers, listen up! Reaction time is a factor. Say the first word that comes into your mind when we say "flying fat baby with a bow and arrow." No — not Messiah! Dammit, your answer is the reason we're writing this article. When you see that pint-sized chubby cherub whizzing around plinking people, it means Valentine's Day is breathing down your neck ... and baby, with this much love magic in the air, even you might be able to get a date.

As a service to you, our reader and — dare we say it — our friend, PCXL has sought an answer to the mystery that plagues so many gamers, "how do I get a girl?" We've searched high and low, discussed this conundrum over beer, subjected ourselves to countless seconds of daytime talk shows, drank more beer, picked up (and hastily put down) many women are from Venus-type books, slurped down more brew ... and, amazingly, reached an answer.

COMMUNICATION

To get chicks, a guy needs to communicate — often by talking. Realizing this Herculean task would prove impossible for almost any gamer worth his gaming spurs, and tougher for those even more worthless, we beat our heads against this barrier for days (and sucked down more beer) until a glimmer of hope laser-burned its way through the hangover.

What if we simply played to our strengths? What if we're so good at gaming, it somehow triggers an "I want the alpha male" response in females? Heavy stuff. Before we could commit our theory to print, we knew it needed rigorous testing, experimentation, quantifiable results. Unfortunately, we have no scientific credibility whatsoever. But we've never let a lack of credibility stop us before.

TERMINOLOGY

Here's a quick primer of terminology used in our experiments ...

Chick = Girl = Babe = Woman = Lady = Female = The ones with the bumps who constantly perplex us

Game Guy = You = Horny = Geek-like = Perplexed = Everyone needs a little help sometimes

Game =Game

Theory = An unproven idea that's more than likely wrong

Hypothesis = An unproven idea that's more than likely wrong. Also, the side of a right-angled triangle opposite the right angle.

Postulate = Something you assume from the outset to be true, unproven and wrong pretty much by definition

PCXL = Horny = Geek-like = Perplexed = Everyone needs a little help — and we're here to give it

EXPERIMENT ONE: THE "INTERACTIVE ROMANCE"

SUMMARY

In an ongoing effort to bring males and females together via the arena of computer gaming, a number of new companies are creating "gender-friendly'" titles. DreamCatcher Interactive (http://www.dream-catchergames.com) has developed an interactive romantic adventure based on a true story. The Legend of Lotus Spring (set to release February 2000) has players of most major sexes participating in the story of a young emperor and the woman that he is forbidden to love. Described as a "whimsical, non-violent game," TLLS takes you to the Far East over 100 years ago, touching on cultural, as well as romantic and adventure elements. As a date-locating technique, the TLLS experiment was an abject failure, as evidenced by this Session Excerpt from a co-ed focus group:

SUBJECT ONE (female)

They should've gotten Fabio to be in this thing!

SUBJECT TWO (female)

I'd like to help with the "motion capture" for that!

SUBJECT ONE (female)

It's so whimsical and non-violent!

SUBJECT THREE (female)

Awwwww, look at that! There's a "virtual serenade."

SUBJECT FOUR (male)

Sweet Jesus, please let me die.

PLUSES

Subjects 1-3 enjoyed whimsical, non-violent gameplay; Subject 4 also experienced Culture and Sensitivity-Broadening elements, as per his previous plea bargain with the City and County of San Francisco, California. (His original offense involved animal shelter felines and "Black Cat" brand firecrackers, but we shan't elaborate on that story.)

MINUSES

Despite a sincere effort on Subject Four's part to share the cultural and romantic elements of the game, considerable friction erupted. Subjects 1-3 suggested a "Fore-Player HunkMatch" mode while Subject Four insisted the experience remain a "Single-Player Shooter." Alas, Subject Four did not survive the triple-strength Silent Treatment that ensued.

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Minus One. Not only did the male subject fail to score, but he was repeatedly and needlessly reminded of his utter lack of resemblance to Fabio.

EXPERIMENT TWO: PLAYING HOUSE

THE SIMS

Frankly, everyone believes that The Sims, from software-as-living-toy masters Maxis, is going to be an absolutely cool game. If you didn't read last month's exposé (crawl out from under your rock), it's the "game of life" made real.

You develop characters, Sims as they're called, and guide, coddle, force, etc. them through various phases in life, searching for financial and marital success. You can end up a lazy, jobless, criminal (much like the PCXL editorial staff) or you can develop a thriving career, gain the respect of your peers and co-workers, and generally lead the sort of enviable life we'll never quite achieve.

Lightbulb flashin' over your noggin yet? That's right — this should be perfect for connecting with chicks! We had the same thought ... not surprisingly, we once again demonstrated our total lack of experience and knowledge of the female thought process.

We were deep into the experiment when we realized that playing The Sims with a cute lass is like eating the broccoli and skipping dessert. How so? The Sims is just so real when you play it with a chick. They actually try to do well with their characters and they want you to succeed too. By the time you're done, you're married, employed, saddled with children ... and you haven't even gotten a kiss off the girl (in real life).

PLUSES

If you're really hard up, The Sims is sort of like practice for relating to real flesh and blood females.

MINUSES

The Sims presents all the work with none of the perks. Perhaps the most telling test-result was this ... babes don't get weak-kneed around men who play house!

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

2.5 dollies — While the game initially got the attention of the female subjects and painted the male subject in a sensitive light, it eventually rendered the male subject more hard up than ever in "real life."

EXPERIMENT THREE: GIRLS THINK THEY CAN DRIVE

NASCAR LEGENDS & TEST DRIVE 6

Why did man invent the wheel? So he could invent cars. Why did he invent cars? So he could impress chicks, of course. The attempt to translate the theory that "chicks are impressed by car-savvy guys" into "chicks are impressed by car-GAME-savvy guys" began with Test Drive 6 from Infogrames —and an utter failure to "get her motor running." The following audio was recorded during a race through Rome:

GUY

Hey! Watch the curve coming up!

CHICK

Is there a map? I don't think this is the best route, we should stop and ask for directions. Isn't Father of the Bride on Channel 4 tonight?

CAR

[CRASHES]

The session was immediately scrubbed and re-started the next day using Nascar Legends. In addition to bitchin' graphics, the incredibly realistic races in Nascar Legends are on tracks — eliminating the whole map thing. Our male test subject was able to expound on the muscular virtues of a 1970 Plymouth and get veeeery groovy in his lingo.

GUY

This is so groovy.

CHICK

Did you just say the word "groovy"?

As the race intensified, Nascar Legends and the general grooviness seemed to be having the desired effect.

CHICK

Mmmmm, wish I could drive this with a joystick ...

Unfortunately, this test case proved inconclusive, because the friggin' puss — ahem — guy, made the fatal mistake of paying too much attention to the game and ignoring the girl. He allowed a full 37 seconds to elapse before responding to the joystick statement, sending several possible messages to the test chick:

A) He was not interested in any way whatsoever in helping her get her hands on a joystick.

B) He cared more about the game than he did about her.

C) He is a total lame-ass and is wasting oxygen that a real man could use to deliver a clever joy-stick retort.

Despite the excellence of Nascar Legends, this experiment resulted in the death-knell response:

CHICK

Isn't Father of the Bride on Channel 4 tonight?

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Five joysticks for the game, three joysticks for the experience of actually playing this with a female, and an obvious and complete lack of a joystick on the part of the male test subject.

EXPERIMENT FOUR: CHANGING TACK

NOCTURNE

When G.O.D. opened the Spook-House doors and unleashed their deliciously ghastly Nocturne, little did they imagine the power they were placing in the hands of the would-be non-virginal male. A combination of "X-Files" chic and classic survival horror action, Nocturne will give you the tools to awaken your "little zombie" from the dead, but you can't expect G.O.D. to do all the work. Take a cue from the game's incredible atmosphere and transform your grotty little hovel into an environment suitable for jitters-induced romance. Lower the lighting ... candles would be a nice touch. Make sure your friend/room-mate/mom (oh, you sad little boy) won't pop in and burst your love-bubble at the climactic moment. Steal some grave stones and casually lay them about:

GIRL

Are those real grave stones?

YOU

Oh, these? They sure are.

GIRL

You're so cool, after we play a little bit of Nocturne, let's do some ... rubbings.

Don't talk during the game play if you can help it. Let the silence and tension build so that when a shambling horror suddenly lunges at her onscreen persona, she'll shriek. The effect is totally ruined, however, if you're the one who lets loose an effeminate shriek.

PLUSES

With proper set-up and execution, a "Nocturne Date" will deliver more sizzle than a dozen oysters. Even if you don't score, a night of blasting werewolves and zombies is a night well spent.

MINUSES

There's a definite gross out factor at work here. When ghouls overwhelm your date and feast on her twitching on-screen corpse, she may be more inclined to vomit than make out with you. On the other hand, you can turn this negative to your advantage by slapping a hand over the offending image and intoning in your best movie hero voice, "This isn't something you want to see."

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Four Severed Zombie arms. Good for you!

EXPERIMENT FIVE: SAVE ME HERO!

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT

Admittedly an unlikely candidate for Date Movie of the Year, The Blair Witch Project — the overhyped no-budget, shake-cam, low-grade-video epitaph for three missing-and-presumed-screwed filmmakers — yielded the highest results in terms of female subjects exposed versus female subjects, ah, exposed. Throughout the course of the film, the three actors lose their bearings. hurl profanities at each other, and eventually meet an enigmatic but doubtless unpleasant end.

Of course, the game version of this, utilizing the Nocturne engine, is in the works and will be published by G.O.D. A clingy female, the DVD, followed by the game… what kind of loser would you have to be screw up this opportunity for a terror induced tryst? Now where the f —k is the map?

PLUSES

The overwhelming majority of female subjects tested responded positively. often sporadically clinging to the males next to them during, and in most cases after, the film. At least two left the theater with the stated intention of staying with the males that evening. Of course, at least a quarter of the male subjects also clutched the males next to them at least once during the film. There are, ah, other magazines that will deal with those test results.

MINUSES

A very. very slim but noteworthy percentage (about 8%) of otherwise-sensitive female subjects found the film's terror element utterly ineffective —thereby degrading the relative status of the participating males (who thought the film was scary) to that of instant, shriveled Weenie. “This is so not cool, Josh!”

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Five wood-stick-figure-thingies. Heh, heh, heh — we said "wood."

WHAT WE LEARNED

Of course, much of our experimentation assumed the herculean task of getting the girl into your "love nest” in the first place. If you can manage that, then it's best to keep your passion for gaming a secret (until you've bagged her).

Going the route of using horror to terrify a “victim”' to your arms is more fraught with problems (not to mention issues of legality). So get them in to your life in whatever way you can, then you can use the tips and game styles we've investigated to ensure that you can still spend time at your PC and keep the girlfriend happy (a tough mix — trust us).

What could possibly be better than a lovely co-operative Diablo adventure, a Worms: Armageddon face-off, or living out your virtual lives together in Everquest or Asheron's Call?

Remember though, that the real fun and frolics needs to be done in the real world, not online. There are probably laws against that kind of thing.

EXPERIMENT SIX: LET’S GET LITERARY

SALEM'S LOT

This technique was developed outside our offices but captured on videotape. It's so diabolical, so shameless, that we hesitate to even report it. But we will anyway.

The Diabolical Test Subject (DTS for short) had candles lit, Courvoisier at the ready, and was seated with a girl (GIRL for short) on a couch. Further still, he was, brace yourselves, talking to her. In the midst of our shock we realized that he was reading.

It took us two minutes to determine what tome of romantic lore he was reciting ... it was Salem's Lot, by Stephen King.

You may be saying "So what? I'm a gamer, not a librarian.” Or perhaps you've seen the 1970s made-for-TV movie “Salem's Lot" starring Starsky (or was it Hutch?) Well, pay attention Love Master ... by borrowing someone else's words you'll seem smart. By displaying no fear (even during the graveyard scene with little Danny Glick) you'll seem more manly. But above all else, by reading, you will appear to be communicating.

At press time we hadn't managed to work out whether Blue Byte's new Stephen King-based release F13 will induce the same terror effect as Salem's Lot. It does feature a new story from the currently rehabilitating horror-meister and desktop themes and screensavers, etc. for fan boys. Fan-girls are fewer, but never turn to their touchy-feely drivel as a substitute.

TIFFANYSDOMAIN.COM

Do you know why we love Tiffany so much? (If you've seen her pictures here and you don't know, you've got bigger problems than we thought). We love her because she's on Playboy's new video "Wildwebgirls.com"

And we love her because she's on the Playboy Channel's "Night Calls." She also has her very own website that we've been spending an inordinate amount of time “researching” for this feature ... tiffanysdomain.com.

If, after reading this little bit of prose, you still remain chickless, you can see a whole lot more of Tiffany (and a wagon-load of other babes who have problems staying dressed) on "Wildwebgirls.com”... or checkout www.playboy.com for all the steamy details.

Thanks Tiffany!

#magazines #pc accelerator #video games #double standards #representation #general sexism #links #submission

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tumbling-odyssey · 3 years

Text

Games I played in 2020

Just felt like getting my thoughts out on all the games I played this year. I’ve been wanting to do something like this for years but I always let it pass me by. Well not this year! Fuck you laziness!

I played the first half in 2019 but finished it in 2020 so I guess I'll count it. DQ11 was my intro to Dragon Quest and what a good starting point. I'm not exaggerating when I say this is one of the best traditional JRPGs on the market. Characters, story, combat, it all clicks in just the right way to make a flawless game... until the end credits roll that is.

I have no idea what happened with the post game but by god does it dive off a cliff. It undermines everything you worked to do in the main plot. The characters act brain dead and it shamelessly reuses events from the main game. Please pick up and play DQ11 but for the love of god just stop when the credits roll.

Doom is a game I knew I'd like. The heavy metal ascetic and soundtrack were right up my alley, but I just never found the time. With Eternal on the way though and having found it on the cheap at a pawn shop I figured there was no time like the present. Needless to say but I was right. I loved everything about this game. The thrill of combat, the screech of the guitars, and the silent take no shit attitude of Doomguy. Make no mistake though, I SUCK at this game. I played on easy but still got my ass handed to me on the regular. But I don't care, I was having way to much fun.

I flipped my shit when this game got leaked at the tail end of 2019. Zero 3 is my all time favourite game. To celebrate this getting announced I went and 100% Zero 3 as I hadn't done it on my current cart, and Zero 3 was still the first thing I played when I got this collection! I love that game to death and I’m glad to have it on modern consoles again. As I was under a bit of time crunch with other games releasing soon I only played 2 other games in the collection Zero 4 and ZX Advent. Until the DS collection those and 3 were the only Zero/ZX games I had so I have a lot of nostalgia for them.

Zero 4 hold ups better then I remember. Not as good as 3 but a damn solid game with tweaks I honestly wish hit the series before its end. I remember having issues with the stage design and ya it’s not perfect, but it’s far from as bad as I thought. For ZXA this was the first time I beat the game on normal difficulty. For some reason the ZX games have always given me more trouble than the Zero games, so finally beating one on normal was very exciting. Maybe I can now finally go and beat ZX for the first time...

The Mystery Dungeon series rising from the depth to punch all those unexpecting in the face was a very welcome surprise. I had a lot of hype going into this one as I have very fond memories of my time with Red Rescue Team and even more with Explorers of Darkness. And the game lived up to it! The remastered music is great and crazy nostalgic, the 3D models are well used and don't feel as stiff as they do in the core series, and the QOL changes are near perfect... So why did I drop this game like a rock once I finished the main quest?

Anyone familiar with Mystery Dungeon will know that the post game is the real meat of it. The story is short and all the really cool shit comes in after it's done. But I just couldn't bring myself to put more time in after I finished said story mode. I'm definitely chocking that up to me just not being in the mood then an issue with the game. Here's hoping we get an Explorers DX sometime soon. That will fucking hook me for all it's got.

Second verse same as the first. I loved this game and sucked at it horribly. Out of all the games I've played this year Doom Eternal is the one I want to go back to the most. I was not the hugest fan of some of the changes made and retained a stance that I liked 2016 better. First person platforming has never been a fun experience in my opinion and Eternal did little to change that. And I know this a lukewarm take at best but fuck Marauders!. They are so unfun to fight and ruin the pace. The Marauder in the last mook wave took me so long I was worried I wouldn’t be able to finish the game. But the more I've seen of Eternal after my playthrough makes me think I was being far to harsh. I haven't played the DLC yet either. Mostly cuss I haven't heard great things about it. Gonna wait for the rest of it to come out to see if it's worth getting. Might just replay to whole game at that point to see if it clicks with me better.

This was my second favourite game of the year, and was going to take the top slot until a certain other game came out. Addressing the elephant in room right away, I hated the ending. But I was expecting something like that, I think we all were. I won't let the ending ruin the rest of the game though. Not gonna let 1 segment colour everything that came before it. We have to see how the later parts play out to truly see if this ending was trash or not anyway.

It took Square over a decade but they finally got an action RPG battle system that works and feels good to play. This may be my favourite battle system in an RPG period honestly. All four characters are a blast and it only gets better the more time you spend with it. Figuring out the nuances of each character’s skills and how to combine them not only with the skills of the others but how to enhance them with the right Materia set. This makes fights thrilling and satisfying when you finally best whatever was giving you trouble. Tis was the best way to bring 7′s mechanics into the modern landscape while also fixing the BIGGEST issue the OG had. The fact every character feels the same aside from Limit Breaks.

All this on top of graphics that just look fucking stunning, a few glitched out doors aside. Fuck I still feel blown away looking at the characters models (mostly Tifa) and see how god damn pretty everyone is. Also Tifa’s Chinese dress is gift from the Gods and I still haven’t picked my jaw up from the floor after I first saw it.

In my circle of the internet there was a lot of hype for this game. So much so that I ended up buying it to see what all the hubbub was about. I had never played a Streets of Rage game before and my only experience with beat'em ups was playing a LOT of Scott Pilgrim and last year's River City Girls. Turns out Streets of Rage plays quite a bit different and it kicked my ass! So sadly I had to switch to easy to make it through but I still had a fun time with it.

I started playing mostly as Blaze but once Adam hit the scene oooooh fucking boy. I didn’t play anyone else. There's a deceptive amount of content in this game. You can unlock almost every character from the previous games and all of them rocking their original sprites and moves. If I had more of a connection with this series I'm sure I would have gone nuts on unlocking everything. I stopped after my one playthrough and I was happy with that. Always glad to support a long overdue franchise revival.

To properly talk about P5R I think I need to air a lot of my feelings on the original game and the importance it has to me. You see, prior to 2017 I barely played games, only sticking to specific franchises. AKA Pokemon and Mega Man/Mega Man like games. Until 2016 though I still bought a lot of games. Eating up Steam sales and deals I found at pawn shops. This lead to a Steam library and shelf filled with games I've never touched outside of maybe an hour or 2. So in 2016 when I took interest in the newly released Kirby Planet Robobot I made a deal with myself. I could get the game but I HAD to beat it. And I did just that, gaining not just a new fav Kirby game but a new rule for game purchases. If I knew I wouldn't beat a game I was not aloud to buy it. Now what does ANY of this have to do with P5 you may ask? Well... almost everything.

I was immediately interested in P5 when it hit the west in 2017. I loved the 20 or so hours I but into P3 years ago and really liked the P4 anime I had watched around the same time. So of course with all the hype around it I wanted to dive into the series full force with P5. But I knew myself. Putting over 100 hours into a game was beyond me and I had a weird relationship with home console games as I was predominately a handheld gamer. Add in the fact I didn't even have a PS4 and I was convinced P5 would be something I always wanted to play, but never would. So when I went to the mall with a few friends and they showed me that P5 had a PS3 version, I had a dilemma on my hands. I knew I wanted to play it and I now had a way to do so. But doing that would require me to change 2 HUGE hang ups I had with games. Would I being willing to waste 60 bucks with so much working against me? Apparently I was. I immediately started going to town on this game. Making sure I spent no less then 2 hours a day playing NO MATTER WHAT. Which may not seem like a lot but it was to me... at the time.. I also had just moved to my current house, so coming home from my still relatively new job and going straight into P5 was the first real routine I formed during this heavily transitional part of my life.

I of course ended up loving P5 and put 200 hours into it. As such my outlook on gaming was forever changed. Console games were no longer out of reach and I knew I could handle playing monster length game. I started playing way more games then I ever did before and trying out generas I never thought I would play. P5 is the main reason for this and why I'm able to make a post like this. To actually touch on Royal though? It's unarguably the better version of the game and Atlus learned all the right lessons from P4G. The new characters are great and the added section at the end is possibly the best shit Atlus has ever written. I only wish Yoshizawa joined the party sooner so I could play as her more.

The release of this really came out of nowhere huh? Wayforward announced it was being made mid way through 2019, then there was its weird half release on the Apple store... and then suddenly it was out! Very little fanfare for this one. Is that indicative of the games quality? Luckily no. Seven Sirens is a solid addition to the series and follows up Half Genies Hero nicely. The game goes back to Shantae's Metroidvania roots and makes a TON of improvements.

Transformations are now instant instead of having to dance for them (don't worry dancing is still in the game) making the game feel more like Pirates Curse in its fast flow. They also added the Monster Cards which take heavy inspiration from Aria of Sorrow's Soul system. A feature I'm happy to see in any Metroidvania since Aria is one of my all time favourite games. Sadly though the game does not take the best advantage of these improvements.

Over all the game feels kinda empty. The dungeons aren't super exciting to explore nor are they challenging in any way. And the plot is very repetitive, with each dungeon repeating the same beats. Really this game feels more like set up for a better game down the line. The mechanics are all here and Wayforward has a solid art style with the sprites from Half Genie Hero. Hopefully they capitalizes on this for Shantae 6 and we get the best game in the series.

While it may not have been the most thrilling game, Seven Sirens really put me into a Shantae mood. So much so that I went back to play the 2 games in the series I had never touched. This being the first game and Risky's Revenge. Shantae 1 really is a hidden gem in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, it's the definition of jank, but there's a lot of heart to this game. The sprites are great, the soundtrack is good, and the characters are funny... but it's still on the OG Gameboy and that's a massive hindrance for any game. I'm hard pressed to recommend this with how poorly its aged but I think it's better then it looks.

Risky's Revenge on the other hand was a game that shocked me by how little it had to offer. I know this game went through a hellish development and what we got was far from what Wayforward planned to make, but it's hard to imagine a world where this was the technical BEST Shantae game. It's not a bad game by any stretch... just a boring one.

For the record my ranking of the games goes Pirates Curse>Half Genie Hero>Seven Sirens>Original>Risky’s Revenge

Sword and Shield are mediocre games at best. I know, real steaming hot take there. I managed to make my Sword playthrough a lot more fun by not spoiling myself on the new Pokemon designs for the first time since Gen 3. Either way, I enjoyed myself enough that I didn't mind playing more of it with these DLC campaigns. Plus I love the idea of Game Freak switching over to this method as apposed to making a third version, so I wanted to support it.

Klara is a fucking top tier Poke Girl both in design and personality and is probably the highlight of Isle of Armour. GF actually went out of their way to give her multiple expressions to sell her toxic bitch personality and I love every minute of it. She sadly drifts into the background for the second half of the DLC’s story which hurts an already rough section even more. Not more then having to grind Kubfuu all the way to fucking level 70 though! That put a serious hamper on my motivation to finish the story but I pushed through anyway. Having to solo the tower with Kubfuu was at least a fun challenge though, as was the final fight with Mustard. Fuck the Diglett hunt though. Ain’t no one got time for that.

Crown Tundra may be my fav of the 2 though even if there isn't a character as good as Klara in it. The hunt for the legendaries was just pure adventure and I had a fucking blast doing it. The joy I felt when I figured out Registeel’s puzzle put a smile on my face unlike any Pokemon game since I was a kid. The whole Regi stuff was honestly a nice Nostalgia trip to my times with Emerald. The story around Calyrex was enjoyable, even if I still hate its design. Not revealing the horses before release was a good call to as it gave an honest surprise. Having to chase down the Galar forme Birds in the overworld is a great way to evolve the roaming legendaries idea and I hope GF sticks to this. Plus the Galar forme birds are some of the best legendary designs since Gen 5 and I love Chocodos way to fucking much.

Here we are folks, my GotY. I love Panzer Paladin so fucking much. A combination of mechanics from Mega Man, Castlevania, and Blaster Master? Sign me the fuck up! This game is tailored made for me and I knew I had to play it once it started making the rounds on social media. I'll admit though, I was a bit worried when the the first full trailer dropped and showed the weapon mechanics. Breakable weapons that you have to sacrifice for checkpoints and power ups? I'm not sure about that.... Luckily I was being a complete moron and those mechanics are near perfect.

I love the set up of each boss being a mythological creature from different cultures. They didn’t just pull the easy ones either. A lot of these things I learned of for the first time here. I love how Grit controls. Using the upward stab as a double jump and being able to pogo off enemies Shovel Knight style just felt great and satisfying. Flame was limited but it made her sections feel tense. She does more damage then you think she could at first glance. Also the only way to heal Grit being to use pods that only Flame could access was a cool idea.

I am begging you Tribute Games, you have to make more Panzer Paladin games. Slap some new upgrades on Grit and expand what Flame can do and you have an even better sequel on your hands. Also maybe not have so many 'gotcha' moments with enemy placement. That's really my only complaint about the game. Great music, great sprites, giant robots, unique premise, and a reference to Canadian legends. The ultimate self indulgent game for me.

It felt super out of left field for Curse of the Moon to be getting a sequel. The games fucking amazing but it was really just a tie in for the main Bloodstained product. Not something I expect to get a continuation. Either way I was pumped. If this was even half as good as the original then I was in for a great time. Which held true... cuss this legitimately is only half as good as Curse of the Moon. I still like the game, quite a lot actually. I mean how could I not with a fucking Corgi piloting a Death Train Mech.

Something was just missing here that never made this click like the first game. Maybe it was the stage design, maybe the bosses, maybe the fact that it's a bit to long. I'm not sure. All I know is I couldn't bring myself to play all the modes like I did in the original. . Stopping part way in to the one where you can get the first games characters. I want to go back some day... I just don’t know when someday is.

This was an announcement I never saw coming. A Gundam Verses game coming to the west? That hasn't happened in the entire time I've been a Gundam fan. I had played a bit of Full Boost on my old roommates PS3 thanks to him having a Japanese account and I played Force on the Vita a few years ago. But to have the latest version fully translated with open servers? Holy hell that's a dream come true.

Having the open betas every weekend leading up to launch was some much needed fun during this shit hole year. I had a lot of fun just fucking around with different suits and seeing what I could do with 'em. Absolutely trashing two Bael players as the Kapool is a memory I'll keep with me for a long time. Fucking danced on their graves. This gave me some new appreciation for suits like the Baund Doc and Hambrabi, the later becoming a lowkey fav as it was my main.

I've fallen off with the game in the last few months but I definitely want to go back. I hope to start learning the game and take parts in tourneys when cons aren’t death sentences anymore.

It felt like everything in my life was SCREAMING at me to start the Yakuza series. From 2 of my friends playing 0 recently, a youtuber I following live tweeting as he played through the WHOLE series back-to-back, and Yakuza 2 having a run at AGDQ 2020. Plus the constant pleas to play this series you get from following Little Kuriboh on Twitter. I finally broke and picked up 0 in the middle of August. Boooooooooy howdy did I not know what I was getting in to. And no I don't mean the content. I knew Yakuza was a series of wildly conflicting tones between the main story and side quests. What I mean is the length. I legit thought this was gonna be a 20-30 hour game. When i reached hour 30 of my playthrough and realized I wasn't even close to a conclusion, I think I knew I had bitten off more then I was planning. That misstep aside I ended up loving this game and want to play the rest of the series.... I just need to rest up first before I dive into Kiwami 1.

Let's actually talk about the game for a moment here. Kiryu and Majima quickly clicked as likeable characters to me and I cared about their stories. Combat is fun and the multiple styles are all great.... though both the default styles take a while to get there. The mad rush I felt at the end was fantastic and the last bosses are a joy to fight. Only real complaint is the pacing of the side stories. I loved being able to just stumble into various different events while on route to the next plot objective. But this became less common as the game went on and side stories started getting more tucked away. Also hot take here, the host club mingame is more tedious then fun and I like Kiryu’s business stuff as I could do that in the background. I’m excited to dive into Kiwami and probably Kiwami 2 this year... Though I’m not sure when just yet.

Just gonna say it flat out, I think this is better the the 2018 game. The smaller scale helps in this style of game and Miles just naturally has a better move set then Peter. I'm not sure if they actually tightened up the combat system or if they just threw less bullshit enemies at you but fighting feels so much better in this one. Traversal is better too, simply because they changed the button for tricks. In the original you have to hold down 2 face buttons to enter trick mode??? In hindsight that was such a bad call.

Having both the heal and venom powers run off the same meter was a good idea. Making the choice between keeping yourself alive guaranteed or potentially ending a fight quicker/disposing of a problem enemy is super fun. The player having to make small choices like this during combat is what helps it not be brainless. I love all the different venom skills you get. While they all achieve the same thing in stunning opponents, how you achieve that goal is up to you. Do you want to just slug the bastard, throw 'em up in the air, tackle the shit out of them? The choice is yours.

Only real big complaint is certain upgrades being NG+ locked. I know you want to encourage replays, but this is a shitty way to do it I feel. Also can we retire Rhino for the next game. Man has had 2 shitty boss fights now and I need a break. Between this and Spider-Verse, I'm honestly starting to like Miles as Spider-Man more then Peter.

I got this game more on a whim then anything. I was definitely interested when it was first announced for the west. Vanillaware's beautiful art style in a story about giant robots beating the shit out of Kaijus? Sign me the fuck uuuuuu-oh wait it's an RTS? I had never played an RTS's before, mainly due to the sheer concept stressing me out. So I let it fall to the wayside. The game started coming up again though towards the end of the year with GotY on everyone's minds. This revived my interest, especially as what I HAD planned to be playing around that time was... well. Cyberpunk. Don't think I need to say much more. Also I had worried for nothing as the Real Time Strategy was not that Real Time.

This game really lays on the analysis paralysis once you're out of the tutorial. Do you want to fight, do you want to do story, who's story do you want to do, what branch should you follow, how much should you play with this one character? It's very overwhelming at first. I decided to not go ham on just one character and swap around all the time. The twists in this game are equal parts exciting and infuriating. Learning something new always came with the caveat of more questions, or something you knew 'for sure' being disproven. Like when I learned 1 characters was actually 4 separate ones! Anyone that's played knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Natsuno ended up being my fav and not just because of.... obvious reasons. BJ was cute if unfortunately named and her relationship with Mirua was my favourite in the game. Not that there was much competition except for maybe Ogata and Tomi. I ended up really liking the combat but I can see why RTS fans say it's the weakest part. It's far from complex and I had a winning strat by the third or so real fight. Aka spam turrets and have the Gen 1′s gank all the bosses.

One quick thing I want to share was how I beat the boss at the end of Area 2. The one where Inaba is singing. I had Hijiyama use the limit break skill to bum rush the boss right off the hop. I took out half its health in one hit but Hijiyama’s Sentinel was on death’s door. Only thing that saved him was sending in Amaguchi to blow up a bunch of missiles. Hijiyama took it out on his next attack but lost his Sentinel at the same time. It was a real clutch victory and crazy fucking anime.

The best way to really describe Carrion is that it's a fantastic proof of concept. Can you make a game where you play as The Thing? Why yes, yes you can. Carrion just needed a bit more tweaking to really bring this concept home and be the A+ game I know it can be. As it is now the game is a bit empty. The level design is super samey and the lack of a map is fucking brutal at points. I know it would make no sense for a blob monster to have a map but somethings you just have to gameify for convenience. The level design must have done something right as even though I was completely lost I still moved from area to area properly. Hell by the time I actually looked up a map I had 1 more item to get and I learned I was one door away from beating the game.

I love the idea of losing mass as you take damage and gaining more by eating people, but having abilities tied to size was a terrible idea. It just leads to tedium as I have to go and shed myself to the right size, do the puzzle, then of course I'm going to go back and rebuild myself to see if I can do the next segment at full power. Just make it so you can swap between abilities using the d-pad or something. I hope this game gets a sequel just so this sick ass concept can be fully realized.

#games #goty #Final Fantasy #pokemon #spiderman #yakuza #gundam #bloodstained #panzer paladin #shantae #persona #streets of rage #doom #mega man #dragon quest #13 sentinels: aegis rim #carrion

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