eschergirls

[eschergirls]

TFW you accidentally snap the Cammy doll in half and then hastily tried to glue her back together before M. Bison gets home.

(Cover of Street Fighter: Sci-Fi and Fantasy Special, Udon Comics, submitted by anonymous)

#Street Fighter #Cammy #Udon Comics #comics #comic books #rubber spines #submission #boobs and butt pose #ridiculous fighting stances

[eschergirls]

It's been 2 weeks so it's time to announce the winners of the April caption contest!

We didn't have as many entries this month, so I'm just going to pick a winner and a runner up and an honorable mention. 

Each winner will get to choose a prize if they wish (but you don't have to, you can just participate for fun too.)  The prizes are extra Steam codes that I've acquired through bundles over the years and I figure that giving them out for contests would be fun.  

Anyway here are the entries!

Disqus:

GreenLuthor: New from Milton Bradley, it's Escher Girls Twister! Right hand red! Left hip yellow! Right boob blue! Imry: Guy in the back: And I twist my spine like this? Is that how you do a boobs and butt pose? Gal in front: Hmm... nope, not working. You really gotta have boobs to do the pose. If you want a ridiculous fighting stance, try something like this? Imry: Character: Reith, Special Attack: pulling those Looney Tunes round bombs out of her bra and throwing them P J Evans: Are those boobs, or is she smuggling lemons? Because boobs are *definitely* not shaped like that. P J Evans: Magna Cuppa: Tears of Pain (Because those boobs need more support)

Tumblr:

@chaoscheebs: The moment she saw her dullahan friend's head starting to fall off in shock from the surprise attack, the lady in white jumped to block the attack aimed at her precious friend. Unfortunately, the angle she had to work from was a little awkward, but that's how battle goes sometimes.  As long as they were safe, it didn't matter anyway. @chasedbybuildings: 'Listen to me or I'll pop her boob!' @elkian: The magician seamlessly divided not only her assistant, but also *herself* into dozens of pieces. Unfortunately, the reassembly was a *little* less professional... @haveievermentioned: "Why did we camp under the orange tree again?" @zombiemollusk: "i don't care if they're the same color, you're supposed to hide the melons UNDER your shirt, not glue them over it." "hey, if it works, it works." "it doesn't work! look, here, let me just cut them off myself and show you how-" "no, back off! stop that! cut it ou- wait actually don't do that- augh, quit it!"

The honorable mention goes to: GreenLuthor "New from Milton Bradley, it's Escher Girls Twister! Right hand red! Left hip yellow! Right boob blue!"

The runner-up is... @elkian "The magician seamlessly divided not only her assistant, but also *herself* into dozens of pieces. Unfortunately, the reassembly was a *little* less professional..."

And the winner is... @chasedbybuildings "'Listen to me or I'll pop her boob!'" which instantly made me laugh when i saw it.

Congratulations to the winners and also thank you so much to everybody who participated!

Please stay tuned for a new caption contest in May!

If you won and would like a Steam code as a prize, please message me with which prize you would like.  If you came in 2nd, message me with 2 choices in order of preference...  I'll give you your top choice that hadn't been taken by the other winners. (To clarify, every winner only gets 1 prize, but winners other than the one in first place should give me their list of games in order of preference so if one is taken, I'll give you the next on the list.  It makes it easier for me to hand out the prizes.)

If either the winner or the runner up don't claim a prize, then the honorable mention gets a prize if they want one.

The Steam codes I have available as prizes are for: Castle Crashers, Hotel Giant 2, Latte Stand Tycoon +, Mythic Ocean, Rage in Peace, Riot: Civil Unrest, Shattered - Tale of the Forgotten Kings, Steel Storm: Burning Retribution, The Hong Kong Massacre, Trifox, and Uncertain: Light At The End.

I was looking through old UK gaming magazines with friends trying to source something, and I ran into this cover which... is something.  Also I think history class misled me about the Magna Carta.  Clearly it was a charter of rights for breasts to be free of their hosts. xD

Anyway, with the art and the game title "Magna Carta" and the magazine title, I figure there's a lot to work from here for a caption contest, so let's have one!

Caption the image.  What's happening? What are they doing?  You can include the text in your caption to make a joke or whatever if you want to play on it, but you don't have to.

Submit your captions here using reblog or reply, by email at [email protected] or on the main site using Disqus comments.

I'll pick the best/funniest captions for winners in two weeks!

Winners can get a choice of prizes if they want, but you don't need to accept a prize to participate if you just want to participate for fun!

Good luck everybody!

(Cover of PLAY magazine vol. 45, Sept. 2005)

#caption contest #caption contest winners #Magna Carta #PLAY Magazine #boobs don't work that way #boobsocks #gratuitous breasts #vacuum sealed for freshness #rubber spines

[eschergirls]

waitworry submitted:

"oh i found an L5R card with some escher worthy art"

She's trying to distract you with her legs so you don't notice her smuggling fruit out of your bed.

(Card art of Bayushi Kurumi from Legend of the 5 Rings, Alderac Entertainment Group & Fantasy Flight Games)

#Legend of the Five Rings #CCGs #trading cards #detached legs #boobs and butt pose #gratuitous butts

[eschergirls]

Eyepatch girl is trying to look nonchalant about having her feet glued to the ground while she poses with her friends.

(Page from Girls of Gaming vol. 6, PLAY Magazine, submitted by anonymous)

#Ikkitousen (series) #boobs and butt pose #Girls of Gaming [Play Magazine] #PLAY Magazine #promotional material #anime #manga art #rubber spines #video games #gratuitous breasts

[eschergirls]

Boobs and butt pose aside, I kinda like how her outfit looks like she murdered Frieza from Dragon Ball and made clothes (and random belts) out of him. xD 

Somehow, her pose is still less painful looking than the sexy Spartan from the same game that's been on this blog before.  

(Art from Magic Knight Armageddon, DeNA Japan & VNG Corp., submitted by anon)

#Magic Knight Armageddon #video games #mobile games #boobs and butt pose #battle bikini #ridiculous fighting stances #gratuitous breasts #gratuitous butts #gratuitous crotch #Escher GIrls triple crown

[eschergirls]

Pictured: an unhappy angel getting indigestion from apparently swallowing an entire black hole.

(Cover of Penny for your Soul: Pestilence #6, Big Dog Ink, submitted by anonymous)

#penny for your soul #Big Dog Ink #comics #comic books #rubber spines #organless torsos #centaur women #WTF clothing #ridiculous fighting stances #battle bikini

[eschergirls]

Cassie showing off the boobs and butt pose and then seeming VERY enthusiastic about finding out if her lasso would drain her own life. >_>

(Page and panels from Teen Titans vol. 4 #28, DC Comics)

#Wonder Girl #Cassie Sandsmark #comics #comic books #superheroes #sexualized in defeat #pornface #traced from porn #boobs and butt pose #rubber spines #errant buttock #detached legs #DC Comics

[eschergirls]

@haveievermentioned submitted:

"Kaine from the NieR promo comics by DC/Wildstorm.  I will defend the outfit as the game  not only justifies it but genuinely ties it into her character development and backstory.  (this isn't me being facetious, go play NieR) however... the rest of it is just so off.  Including the face.  Kaine doesn't ever even get CLOSE to that kind of expression."

This is what happens when you're setting up your display of battle lingerie because corporate says the next big thing is sexy barbarian chic, but also you can't quite get the legs and butt to fit together with the top of the mannequin and you're like, whatever, it's my last day anyway, and it's almost closing...

(Cover of NiER #1, Wildstorm Productions & DC Comics)

#DC Comics #Wildstorm Productions #rubber hips #rubber spines #boobs and butt pose #detached legs #errant buttock #gratuitous butts #NiER #comics #comic books #video games #ridiculous fighting stances

[eschergirls]

madfishmonger submitted:

"File this under "The artist's barely disguised fetish" It took me a minute to realize, but she's supposed to be wearing this style of fetish shoe (ballet heels). To WAR. She's going to WAR. In THOSE."

Nothing wrong with fetish shoes. PROBABLY not a good idea to wear them in war though, but what do I know? I don't exist in the post-apocalyptic space war universe.  Maybe one needs to stand on their tippy-toes to see the entire battlefield.  Maybe having hooves commands respect.  Maybe the soldiers are better motivated knowing that their commanders are suffering as much as they are standing in those things.

Maybe my brain is just melting.  That happens too when I stare at my inbox too long.

(Cover of Warhammer 40,000 - Codex: Sisters of Battle, Games Workshop)

#Tabletop RPGs #RPG book #warhammer #the agony of the feet #WTF clothing #submission

[eschergirls]

This was shown to me by somebody on Discord and this is apparently part of a review of the game?  And... what... just... what... Everything about this is so cringe.  Like, why even mention Claris just to imply that they would admit to lusting over her if she was of legal age?  That's so creepy, even as a joke. 

And everything about Tillis is just so weird.  Like they call her a cool and strong female lead, but then there's that weird tangent about how hot she is that their Art Editor is drooling over her and just... why... why anything. xD  90s gaming mags were certainly something...

Also, the internet would very much prove this writer wrong about people not being hot and bothered for Amy Rose >_>

As for the picture itself, all I can think of is "We have Asuka Evangelion at home."

(Review of Burning Rangers from Sega Saturn Magazine #31)

Transcript of text:

Burning Ranger: Raunch Factor 10 It's about time that the Sonic Team produced a strong female lead for one of their games. After all, no-one's really got all hot and bothered about Amy Rose from the Sonic games (insert your own hedgehog-based "prick" gag here). And as for the "budding" 15 year-old Claris in NiGHTS... well, we're not saying anything. Not until we've cleared it thoroughly with our legal people. The advent of Burning Rangers brings an end to this sad, sordid tale. Tillis is cool. In fact, our very own Art Editor, Mr McEvoy has this very image on his desktop at work. When we think he's staring at his latest layout for the mag, he's actually drooling feverishly at the picture you're looking at on this page. The words "pervert" and "colossal" spring to mind...

#Burning Rangers #Sega #Tillis [Burning Rangers] #video games #promotional material #gratuitous breasts #general sexism #representation #general portrayal of women in fiction #magazines #sega saturn magazine

[eschergirls]

I thought this looked familiar.  Apparently it's a modern redux of an old Marvel trading card of Magik (a literal Magik card for those that like puns >_>)

It doesn't look much better cleaned up, and if anything the weirdness of the entire pose is just more visible.  She looks like a centaur angry that you stole her front legs.

(Unknown Comics cover of Astonishing X-Men vol 4 #1, Marvel Comics, submitted by anonymous)

#Magik #X-Men #Marvel Comics #comics #comic books #superheroes #promotional material #rubber spines #Jim Lee #ridiculous fighting stances #boobs and butt pose #centaur women

[eschergirls]

Is Elektra supposed to be like... skateboarding on ice or something?  What is going on with her legs?

Also, that dialogue is very "men writing women".

(Page from Elektra vol. 1 #4, Marvel Comics, submitted by anonymous)

Transcript of text boxes:

A whole bunch of Ukrainian pimps armed to the teeth with ex-KGB hardware... A few home grown allies with customized glocks and berettas... A young girl, scared witless relying on Elektra to get her out of the hole she's in... And my hair's probably gone frizzy, too, she thinks.

#Elektra #ridiculous fighting stances #rubber hips #detached legs #plasticine leg #Marvel Comics #comics #comic books #superheroes #mike deodato

[eschergirls]

So apparently Lyssa: Goddess of Rage, that game that probably uses AI generated art, has rebranded itself to "Lyssa: Goddess of LOVE"?  And that apparently just means taking the exact same picture from the Cammy from Wish ad and turning it into a vacuum-sealed latex Nazi woman???

Also, apparently if you look for Saints Row videos on YouTube, their wise and all-knowing algorithm thinks that means you want AI-generated Nazi waifus. -_o This future sucks.

(Ad for Lyssa: Goddess of LOVE, Panoramik Games)

#detached legs #vacuum sealed for freshness #Lyssa: Goddess of Rage #wAIfus #advertising #panoramik games #youtube

[eschergirls]

Flipping through PLAY Magazine's "Girls of Gaming" with my friends a little bit ago, and helium balloon snowboarding girl is back, with both runaway breasts and a boobs and butt pose.  But also, I think the commentary that accompanies this section is interesting too.

First, as my friend pointed out when we were reading it, it's odd to brag that your sports game's women athletes aren't "damsels in distress" given that it's a sports game and those usually don't have like women in distress? (hopefully)

Second, it's also interesting that for female characters, the designer stresses that it's important that they be hot and attractive while also having other characteristics, but when it comes to the male characters, their appearance isn't the focus, and in fact it's even pointed out how important it is for some male characters to be UNATTRACTIVE in order to be more relatable.

Thinking emoji, etc...

(Page from Girls of Gaming vol. 1, PLAY Magazine)

Transcription of article:

Elisa SSX 3 Incept Date: October 2003 Famous For: Snowboarding while laying the back down on anyone within an arm's length and looking California-cool in the process. She also talks a mean game. The game: The quintessential snowboarding game for the ages - fast, loaded with attitude, crazy detail and a wicked soundtrack. Screw laundry lists and race to your heart's content. System: PS2, Xbox, GC, PC; Developer: EA; Publisher: EA Three Questions: Ian Lloyd, Associate Art Director/Character Supervisors SSX3 What do you feel is the single most important aspect of character design? Storytelling - a character tells a story about themselves through their appearance, their performance and their voice. We tend to be pretty straightforward in designing characters that you can get an immediate read on. Once you have this defined, you can start to mess with these perceptions to get the character to perform certain roles within the cast of characters. It's almost impossible to design these characters in a vacuum as they all play a specific role within the cast of characters in the game and ultimately appeal to a broad range of users. It's abundantly clear that you can never please everyone, but I'm pretty satisfied when I hear people strongly promoting their favorite characters from the SSX series and nobody can agree on who those characters are! We've tried to design the characters of SSX to appeal to everyone, and to achieve the goal you need to put enough specifics in there to make the character unique, but you also need to leave some room for a broad spectrum of users of all ages, genders, nationalities, and backgrounds to project their own ideas and specifications on to.  I think too often character designers get all the stereotypes covered but never go beyond that point. It's a tough balance with lots of external pressures on the designers, but I really feel strongly that if you give a character a place to come from, in the form of a history, experiences, preferences and dislikes, the user will pick up on it and more readily engage in the interactive process of bringing that character to life in their mind. These things don't need to be explicitly stated to the audience, which is the temptation; rather, the designer just needs to have the information in mind when designing the character and it will find its own voice through all the decisions that are made along the way. What are you most proud of regarding the girls of SSX? I'm glad that many people seem to react to them in a positive way. We've always strived to make sure we have a good balance between overly appealing female characters and cool characters that happen to be girls. Obviously all the characters are competitive athletes, full of confidence and very much dictating how they move through life. You won't find any damsels in distress in SSX. Again, each character has a role to play so rather than pump them all full of silicone and take the easy way out with a crew of Barbie-esque clones, we've tried to make sure we present a range of female athletes that will appeal to a broad audience for reasons beyond their good looks. The other aspect of presenting a range of character types is that polarities and rivalries naturally emerge and our AI systems help the user engage in and invest in these relationships.

Your favourite character from any game? I'd have to say Abe from Oddworld series is the frontrunner, with Jin Kazama from the Tekken series and Solid Snake from the Metal Gear Solid series. All of these characters have been designed to tell a clear story about themselves and their designs engage the user in a way that I find very satisfying. Abe is great because he is the complete package. His voice, motion and appearance work in concert to make him a fully realized character. He's ugly as hell but endearing in a way that so few sexy characters could ever hope to be. The fact that he's an underdog who is capable of greatness is always a satisfying angle with a character but often a tough sell from a marketing perspective. Abe just wouldn't work if he looked like Justin Timberlake. Jin kicks some serious butt. There is an underlying storyline in Tekken that is played out through the cinematics that I think have (sic) a good balance between spelling out just enough of a story and leaving the rest open to the user to speculate on. It's a great way to engage the user and sometimes we get too wrapped up in clubbing them over the head with this stuff. Jin plays well, has tons of attitude and has a dynamic feel to his design. His hair alone gives him a built-in perception of speed and his wardrobe is flashy but primary and powerful. The fighting in Tekken is the most satisfying as the characters really feel like they have weight, speed and generate forces capable of doing some serious damage. Too many fighting games float the characters around all over the place, totally killing the believability. Note the term believability vs. realism. I can accept a completely stylized characters as being believable if the conventions by which he is governed are properly laid out. Realism is usually pretty boring in most video games. This is a medium of pushing reality to something more satisfying. Snake is effectively, from a visual standpoint, a stranded soldier, allowing the user to project their own associations onto him, but there's just enough there to make him distinctive and give him that gritty, world-worn attitude. His voice is gravelly and brooding, his posing and motion heroic and he plays his role perfectly. You become Snake when you play the game and adopt his persona. They might have gone a bit overboard with the cinematics on Sons of Liberty, but having said that, there were a lot of very satisfying and entertaining moments too. It's all about balance.

#PLAY Magazine #Girls of Gaming [Play Magazine] #ssx [video game series] #promotional material #magazines #double standards #boobs and butt pose #Adam Warren #rubber spines #boobs don't work that way #runaway breasts #anti-gravity breasts

[eschergirls]

"Boooobbbbssss annndd Buuuutttssss... rawrrrr"

(Cover of Immortal Red Sonja #8, Dynamite Entertainment, submitted by anonymous)

#Red Sonja #Dynamite Entertainment #comics #comic books #boobs and butt pose #rubber spines

[eschergirls]

haveievermentioned submitted:

"Got this Nikke ad! She was talking about a concert she was planning. I hope she can still sing."

I know it's minor and has nothing to do with how anything attaches or anything, but the only thing I can focus on is how apparently she put on her tie before putting on any of her other clothes. xD

(Ad for Goddess of Victory: Nikke, Shift Up Corp.)

#Goddess of Victory: Nikke #SHIFT UP corp. #mobile games #video games #advertising #WTF clothing #detached legs

[eschergirls]

I was looking through old UK gaming magazines with friends trying to source something, and I ran into this cover which... is something.  Also I think history class misled me about the Magna Carta.  Clearly it was a charter of rights for breasts to be free of their hosts. xD

Anyway, with the art and the game title "Magna Carta" and the magazine title, I figure there's a lot to work from here for a caption contest, so let's have one!

Caption the image.  What's happening? What are they doing?  You can include the text in your caption to make a joke or whatever if you want to play on it, but you don't have to.

Submit your captions here using reblog or reply, by email at [email protected] or on the main site using Disqus comments.

I'll pick the best/funniest captions for winners in two weeks!

Winners can get a choice of prizes if they want, but you don't need to accept a prize to participate if you just want to participate for fun!

Good luck everybody!

(Cover of PLAY magazine vol. 45, Sept. 2005)

#Magna Carta #magazines #promotional material #boobsocks #vacuum sealed for freshness #rubber spines #gratuitous breasts #boobs don't work that way #errant buttock #caption contest #PLAY Magazine