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hannie-dul-set · 3 years

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hello its me again !! yesterday I told you I followed u bc of your love for jaemin and your funny humour but today I want to add something else, and thaTS YOUR AMAZING WRITING SKILLS !!

i just finished reading the masterpiece that is Top of the world and I'm so shaken up by the excellence of the rich vocabulary, the sentence structure and just the way you wrote the various events that happened. I'm such at a lost of words to express what I feel you have no ideas, I will never recover from the high quality of this story. it couldn't have been better than that what you delivered and I'm just so so relieved to have been able to live this amazing experience of reading such an outstanding story. I'm sorry maybe you're thinking im showering you in too much compliments but you deserves to be praised for having written Top of the world.

I will always be amazed with how people who write are able to wrote down their imagination and wow, im still shaking like.. Im so impressed by you you have no ideas 🙈

moving on, this is the first time ever since I'm reading nct fics on tumblr that I came across this characterization of jaemin, and it is a real take of fresh air in the best way possible even tho he's really such an asshole like wow the popularity did go too high in his head I was so scandalized (in a good way lmao it made me amazed) with how an ass he was and like the way he ordered around jisung ???? djjdjffjhf I- I wanted to punch jaemin so hard 😤 I wanted to dive into the story and beat his ass lmaooo im sure you too, like I was rolling around in my bed bc I couldn't stay still and laying down without reacting ㅠㅠ

I dont know at what length of words the ask can tolerate but let me tell you something before I forgot ! I realized that every situations/events you wrote had a purpose, like you didn't wrote basic actions that we would pass over without much attention, and bc of that you held our attention during the 15.6k of words and it was so much overwhelming I couldn't stop reading just to breathe lol, you kept me going for so long and I really liked it im so sad that I lived this experience and I couldn't live it again *sobs* this is so revolting I want to pat your head you did so so well 🥺

alsooooo, when you introduced yn's character in the beginning, I was kinda afraid that he would bully her physically you know, like I couldn't imagining you daring to write him being more than despicable than he was but thanks god that wasn't what I imagined fjdjfj, the way he exercised his 'dominance' towards someone he didn't know just for a seat lmao, wow he got some real balls ?¿ I was scandalized a lot fjjfjffj but I was curious too about jeno's character in the story, he was so chill (I think?) about yn's being involved with jaemin from the start and I was expecting him to be an asshole to her just like jaem, u know ? could we know your motives about jeno's character in the story ? why didn't you wrote him like jaemin?

I will speed up a little fjfjj or else I will write you 6 pages of my thoughts lmao

but yeah !! so, I really liked the contrast between how we perceived yn's outside facade and inside, like when he make her kneels in front of him, you made us look at her from jaemin's view and how she looked not so bothered by his behavior and then you switched the second after into yn's point of view and how she tried to not show her emotions... *mind blowing* 🤯 not gonna lie, I was rotting for her to not let him mess with her head but instead her doing that to him and it kinda worked fjfjfjf and then I knew the moment he was surprised about the non effect he had on her that it was the start of his fall anD I WASN'T A SECOND DISAPPOINTED

I FUCKING LOVED THE BLOSSOMING REALTIONSHIP BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM anD the slight graduation of jaemin's becoming soft to her oh my god I had hearts in my eyes. I loved every moments of this story (I loved the entire 15.6k words of it, I cherished them), but the pool scene toward the end made me go feral for a lot of minutes like the picture you implanted in my head of him in the water made me post all my thoughts (also blonde jaemin? as in, make a wish jaemin?, god I hope bc fucking damn, he was so so so hot)

I was so emotional at the end, they got together and just, being the witness of jaemin's character development was breathtaking, I couldn't stop thinking about how smooth you made it for his character development during all the story, it wasn't forced or too quick...

It was perfect

omg.... [CLUTCHES HEART]. help oh my god first of all thank you ??? for leaving such a LONG long review omg ???? made my entire day ?? week ??? HQGSBWJ IN SUMMARY THANK U AND I LOVE U FOR THIS AAAA i really appreciate it when people just ramble abt my works it just makes my drive go ⬆⬆⬆ yanno HHHH.

when i was first writing this is was like "oh gosh....is it....okay to turn jaemin this much of a dick?? IS IT??" like i was so SURE people wouldn't like this characterization of him but i literally got the reverse 😭 never expected anyone to jump with me on my asshole richkid jaemin agenda bUT HERE WE ARE....IT BEING MY MOST POPULAR FIC YET HAHSJ. i both hate and love this kind of jaemin and yes i definitely wanted to drag him down from his high horse while writing (at the same time....i will let him drag me around as he pleases too 😳).

i'm very gratified that u think its cohesive and each scene has a purpose because to be honest i didn't fuckin know where to go with this entire fic at first LMAO i was just in a richkid jaem brainrot after talking abt it too much with my friend and this was....the result 🕴.

as for jeno oh mr. jeno lee....HAGSNSK to be honest, as this fic wasn't rlly that deeply planned HAHA, i just wanted a contrast to jaemin's personality LMAO if he had the same personality as jaems....insanely egotistical god complex and all.....i think this would have turned out to be a love triangle AHAHS GM SKW. bUT— but hehe. i have another richkid fic in the dusty corners of my google docs rn. a 00’ line fic in fact HAHA so totw jaemin and jeno will be making a comeback here (ofc this is an entirely different universe but their characterizations are essentially the same HEHEHEHEHEH).

anyway !! thank u so much for sharing ur thoughts on totw ;o; 💞 this rlly made my day no joke HAHA i'm so happy to hear you liked this aaaaa. and yes. maw jaemin was the cause of all of this. something snapped in him during that era and led me to write this very self indulgent fic. thank u HAGHSKA.

#and no worries ur grammar is perfect !!! :D hehehe thank you once more aaaa and very sorry for replying late ;o;#💌: byunfirstlady #feedback #top of the world

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well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now · 3 years

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I'm here, queer, and I want a summary for the new lesson (whenever you get around to playing it of course)!

-35 Anon

NEW FIC + LESSON 44 SUMMARY

Hii! I'm sorry this took like a week BUT as an apology/compensation I wrote a lil' something based off this lesson :D ;

Familiar Strangers

Mammon gets a little more time with the strange angel his little brothers picked up and picks up a few things of his own.

ok ok so this lesson holy shit??? This is probably one of my favourite lessons!? It just gives so much and ahhh it was so good! It gives more angel backstory and lore, shows what got Levi into anime in the first place and answers the question I asked in the previous lesson summary; about why Mammon made a pact with MC in the first place when he said in lesson 43 that he wouldn't make a pact with a random human. And look i'm too excited to wait to reveal this in the end (plus with the way om lessons are structured there won't be a big reveal, just a gradual realisation) so im gonna reveal it here immediately.

LESSON 44 SPOILERS

MC once again fucked up the timeline :')

MC's the one who got Levi into anime in the first place. (but the only reason they got him into anime was cause they already knew he liked anime but he liked anime only because they got him into it and so on and so on, one whole horrid circle)

A time paradox was already in play at the very beginning of S1, meaning MC's first meeting with the brothers was never in S1 but instead thousand of years before the main storyline even began. Meaning MC was never a random human and holy shit???????

I'll talk more about MC and Mammon's pact after I summarise everything, as well as about their sins and their lives in the Celestial Realm Vs the Devildom cause everything is blowing my mind . Additionally, even though Mammon shares more or less equal screentime with his brothers in this lesson it adds a ton of character depth to him and i adore it.

Ok so the lesson starts with;

Mammon, Beel, Satan & MC bursting into Asmo's room. Mammon yelling about how he's gonna kill Asmo cause of the leak, only to find his room empty. They check his bathroom (which in my humble opinion is the first place they should have checked, but then again this is asmo so maybe they wanted to keep that as the worst case scenario option), MC says they should turn the water off immediately and mammon confirms that yeah if lucifer is actually still alive and finds out about this all of them will be murdered on the spot. They find Asmo passed out in the bathroom. MC uses the healing spell they learn back in s2 to take away some of his pain. All 3 brothers seem very worried and when Beel asks Asmo if he's okay, he says that he's not but that MC kissing him may make him better (my man's on his death bed and still tryna smash, an absolute icon). Mammon immediately tells Asmo to go die, and Beel says he shouldn't have worried about Asmo cause it was a waste of energy. and look that instant turnabout is peak comedy :'). Asmo calls them out on being assholes and that he does still feel dizzy and Satan says that if he's able to joke about he's fine. Asmo says that he still wants to sleep it off and that he wants MC with him. Satan once again proving that he's the best brother says that him and Mammon will go make soup, Beel will clean the bathroom and that MC can take Asmo to bed. Asmo gushes about how good Satan is and Satan blushes (a year ago this sentence would have been so messed up wtf happened). in bed MC ends up telling Asmo all about their day and Asmo gets sad about not being able to go to the cafe, MC complains about Simeon being a sadist who put them to work (or they can invite Asmo to come the next time) and Asmo says he's jealous that he wasn't there to see them all suffer. Asmo says that while he was asleep he had a dream that he was still an angel and that it's been so long since he's seen Michael who was stunningly beautiful and who was gushing about lucifer, and that he was glad he didn't run into raphael cause he scared him. MC falls asleep while Asmo talks.

MC is woken up in a bright forest by angel Asmo, who asks them what they were doing sleeping in a place like that and says he has never seen MC before. MC can ask him what he's doing dressed like an angel or can ask him if he's actually asmo. He basically says either i've always looked like this unless you're talking about my nails which i painted a different colour or duh obviously you know who i am, who doesn't. He then asks MC who they are. They can ask him if he has forgotten them or if he's kidding. He says either that if they'd met before he wouldn't have forgotten them or that he always means what he says even if people think he's kidding and then asks for their name. MC can ask if they are dreaming - Asmo takes it as them flirting with him/using a cheesy pickup line which he thinks is adorable - or they can ask where they are - the celestial realm. Asmo asks them if they work for Raphael cause Asmo had snuck into the human world to go to 'something called a party' which he had never been to before and that he'd had a lot of fun. But that raphael says 'it's a wicked and immoral thing'. He then asks MC what they think. MC gets to either say that it's up to him to decide or to agree with raphael. If you choose the first option Asmo is suprised, and then says that since it was so much fun it'd be a tragedy never to experience it again and that he thinks he should be allowed to have fun. Asmo had found MC while he was hiding from Raphael who was pissed about the party. Asmo goes to propose something to MC but gets cockblocked by Beel. Asmo asks beel if he could open the celestial realm gates, beel says no and then asks who the fuck MC is. Asmo introduces Beel as a cherubim and a guardian of the gates of the Celestial Realm. And says that Beel is a very famous angel, and that there's a rumour that lucifer recommended Beel to be promoted to seraphim. Beel says that lucifer hasn't mentioned it to him and that it's just a rumour. Beel asks MC if they are okay and if Asmo has tried anything on them cause Asmo hits on anything that moves. Asmo gets pissed and says that it's not that he'd happily sleep with anyone but that he cares about who they are and that he feels love towards everyone he meets. And that the reason everyone loves him so much is cause he loves everyone due to his ability to see the good in people. Beel changes the subject by telling MC they look hungry and offers them a few sweets he got from Michael. MC basically goes wtf why aren't you eating them. He says he's not hungry and that he has eaten too much recently and gained weight and is now on a diet. MC probably looks like they had a stroke cause Beel asks if they are okay. MC tells him that they like the fact that he eats a lot. Beel blushes before asking Asmo if that's a compliment and if he's supposed to thank MC. Asmo who's pissed off snaps at beel about MC and Beel flirting while ignoring him. Beel says he came here looking for belphie.

Beel proceeds to shake a tree until Belphie falls out... Belphie takes one look at MC and asks what the fuck a human is doing in the celestial realm (i forgot that this was back when he still liked humans and thought we were back to square one and he was about to start throwing hands). MC can say 'You think I lool like a human?' vs "Excuse me? What are YOU doing here?'. for the second option Belphie just says screw you I asked first. For the first he's confused that they are not, Asmo saves MC's ass either by telling Belphie to go get his eyes checked while Beel says MC's an angel. Belphie says he does detect angelic vibes from MC (Lilith's bloodline???) but also something humanlike. Asmo says Belphie probably senses that cause all he ever thinks about are humans and Belphie says it's cause humans are interesting and wishes he was born as a human. Asmo yells at Belphie not to say things like that cause if Raphael finds out they'd be in trouble. Beel asks what they are gonna do about their new lost angel and Asmo asks if they can keep MC. Belphie says no cause they're supposed to bring lost angels to Lucifer (how often do angels get lost????). MC gets to choose whether they want to go with Beel, Belphie or Asmo to find lucifer. I chose Beel cause he was anyway going back to Lucifer with Belphie (⚡⚡Efficiency🌟🌟) which is when belphie finds out lucifer's looking for him cause he skipped a meeting. '???' cuts in with a "Mmhm, I THOUGHT I heard some awfully familiar voices..." it turns out to be Mammon who's been looking for all of them (minus MC for a change and isn't that the weirdest thing to happen in all this).

Asmo scolds Mammon for scaring him and tells him not to appear outta thin air like that (that's such a 'Lucifer Trait' tho that i don't think we've seen from Mammon before?) - Mammon says he'll do what he wants. He then asks if MC is Asmo's 'newest plaything'. Asmo says no but can you imagine tho😍 After Belphie and Beel introduce MC as a lost angel, Mammon sounds oddly skeptical and says he's never heard of an "MC" before. Beel introduces Mammon as a throne who acts as Lucifer's assistant. He says that Mammon can be trusted cause outta all the thrones he's Lucifer's most trusted. Asmo says that Mammon used to be a troublemaker and that Michael hadn't known what to do with him but that he's grown into someone who, more than anyone else in the Celestial Realm, can do anything he puts his mind in to. Mammon says he doesn't like the way Asmo introduced him and Belphie says it's true though cause they all thought Mammon was just a step away from being cast out (fdshgfwdygds explains why Lucifer worries so much over Mammon in the present cause he's gone back to being a troublemaker). MC can ask about 1.) the being cast out thing - Mammon says the others are exaggerating even though things have changed. 2.) being a throne - blushing Mammon says that he was an archangel and that Lucifer recommended him as a throne. 3.)question him about being able to do anything - he snaps at them for looking disbelieving and says he's talented. Belphie says mammon used to be awful and ngl these made me laugh - mammon brought back pigeon feathers from the human world and tried to sell them to the lower rank angels by telling them they were Raphael's feathers, he also ordered around the army of angels for fun and said he was playing angel chess. Mammon says they were just innocent pranks and were no big deal and MC ever the enabler agrees with him. Mammon says it seems like MC's actually got some sense and says he likes them and that they're cool. Mammon then stutters and asks MC why they're staring at him 'like that' and imagine the amount of shit going through MC's head at seeing Mammon like this? From all the brothers he's arguably the one they're closest with (even if it's not in a romantic sense) so seeing him in a world where he's respected by his brothers and has this kinda calm confidence that he doesn't have as a demon, imagining what must have happened between then and the present for things to change the way they have, finding out he's still a troublemaker, still wholly Mammon, and just has to squash down those urges here, remembering all the times the more responsible side of him came out as a demon and getting to see a version of himself where that side is more prominent. Seeing him so easily say that he likes them without any of the protests he had as a demon. Realising that Mammon's more 'tsundere' characteristics are all a defense mechanism to protect himself from opening up and being hurt and that in the present after realising they genuinely care about him he starts dropping them. realising that as both an angel and a demon he took a look at them and thought 'this one, i like.' Just!??? Ah. :). Anyway back to the chapter- He starts blushing and tells them to stop staring. Belphie asks Mammon if he wants to be like Lucifer, blushing Mammon asks so what if he does. Belphie says that's never gonna happen so he should give up while he's ahead (made me wanna punch him) and that Mammon is not Lucifer and is instead Mammon and that he can't become something he's not (made me wanna hug him). Mammon tells Belphie to shut up and asks why he cares anyway and that with enough time one day he might do it and that he doesn't care what belphie says and that they should just watch him. and isn't it sad that Mammon will never get that time, and yeah it's a good thing that now as a demon he's just being Mammon without trying to be lucifer but he was never given the time to figure that out for himself and it explains all the issues/complexes Mammon has regarding Lucifer and shit imagine losing MC to the man he respects and loves but who he will always see himself as second best to and who he was always trying to reach, the man he believed he could have become until the fall and until he gave up and let his sin and his more real self takeover?? Since Mammon never had the time to realise that it's better to be yourself than someone else if MC ends up choosing Lucifer he'll always have that 'what if' in the back of his head and that shit hurts dude. MC can then say something about them all really loving Lucifer, Mammon blushes and stutters and said that nobody said anything about loving lucifer. Beel, Belphie and Asmo all say they love Luicfer (but not his lectures). Mammon growls and says he hates them and Asmo calls him out on being really obvious about loving lucifer as well, Mammon blushing says he doesn't. Or they can tell Mammon they're rooting for him. He's suprised and then stutters and blushes and asks if they really will. Then still blushing and stuttering he tells MC to stop staring at him like that again. MC's such a pining idiot i can't handle it. Beel changes the subject and asks why Mammon was looking for them. Lucifer had sent Mammon to find the twins cause Beel never returned with Belphie. He also tells Asmo that Raphael was walking around with his spear looking for him. He then calls them to head to the Celestial Palace. Asmo says that if the Seraphim find out about MC it'll make things worse and who knows what they'll do to all of them. They decide they should hide MC someplace.

Inside the palace Mammon yells at MC to stop looking at everything with wide eyes (did this happen before? when he was showing them around the devildom during the first lesson? I can't remember but my love for parallels is praying it did) cause they're already sticking out by being a bunch of high ranking angels gathered together. Asmo tells Mammon he needs to be nicer. He says that there's no reason to worry cause Lucifer and the others are on the higher floors. Belphie says that this makes it the perfect spot to hide when they wanna skip work. MC says that even angels need a break sometimes. Asmo says the seraphim are bossy and never cut them any slack. Beel asks MC if they are close to any other angels. If MC says Luke no one knows who that is cause the baby hasn't been born yet🥺. If MC says Simeon, Belphie's surprised and Beel says that outta all the Seraphim Simeon's the most easygoing. AND holy shit??? During the last lesson Simeon said he was an archangel which means that he was demoted at some point?????? And considering how close he was with Lucifer and possibly the others as well,,,,,,,,,,could it be possible that he was demoted after the fall? That though he didn't come with them he helped them escape in someway? or looked aside while they escaped? or knew about Lilith and her human? Or knew Lucifer was becoming more disillusioned? Belphie says it's not that Simeon's easygoing but rather that the others are too intense. Mammon asks if they should hand MC over to Simeon and Asmo says another Seraphim would spot them before they reached him. They stop outside their secret room aka the slacking off room. When the door is opened MC and possibly Beel get drenched in water while Belphie, Asmo and possibly Mammon manage to jump away. "???" says that to get entry they need to say the secret phrase.

belphie asks if they really need a secret phrase and levi says they never know when the seraphim will show up, mammon says that if they do show up a secret phrase wouldn't stop them from coming inside. Levi says whatever and asks who MC is. Asmo scolds him for the way he worded the question but still introduces MC. Levi suspects that MC is one of Michael's agents who was sent to verify that levi is 'as much of an useless waste of space as I seem to be'. MC snaps 'That's not true!' and Levi is startled and blushes. And Mammon, holy shit Mammon says what in my humble opinion is one of the funniest lines in the series,: "That's right, Levi. It's not true. I mean, just look at MC's face... See that absentminded stare... like there's nothin' going on upstairs? Does that look like the face of one of Michael's agents? I don't think so." WHY did he have to come for MC so hard!???? this came literally outta nowhere and it made me laugh so hard??? Worst of all? it made me realise a horrid horrid truth; Mammon considers himself a morosexual I'm in tears???? Levi says it's better to be absentminded than to be a waste of space. Belphie says that Levi commanded Lotan and the army of angels in the war against the demons and was basically their general. Beel says that now that the Celestial Realm is at peace Levi feels like he has no purpose. Asmo says that someone from the younger generation took over the Devildom which is why the war ended, though Mammon says the transition isn't official yet. Levi tells them to shut up and Mammon tells him that sitting around being grumpy wouldn't do anything and that he should at least enjoy them being at peace. Levi says that he doesn't wanna hear that crap from Mammon cause Mammon being Lucifer's favourite means he can be an airhead and still have his future secured, while levi would be a dead weight, a leach and a burden to the entire realm without a war to fight (and i mean a lot of what levi said is pretty messed up but Mammon did get promoted from a warrior to Lucifer's right hand possibly after the war was over? while Levi's still a general in a realm at peace). When mammon gets pissed off at Levi's comment the others say that considering this isn't the first time that levi got into one of these moods mammon should just ignore him. Levi immediately latches onto that and says that they shouldn't interact with an useless bore of an angel like him cause it's just a waste of time. MC suggests that Levi find something else he can be passionate about and he says that there's nothing else for him. MC can recommend either anime or manga. since he doesn't know what these are MC then explains it to him in detail. he's interested but doesn't think a boring angel like him could actually get interested in anything like that (oh baby...). Belphie and Asmo are surprised that MC seems to know so much about the human culture when even Belphie doesn't know this much. '???' voice finds them and says it's interesting how much free time they seem to have. Kinda sad to find out that Levi got into anime cause he needed something to make him feel less useless in the aftermath of a war...

The brothers all freak out about being found by lucifer, who yells at Mammon for not bringing the twins to him and at Beel for not bringing Belphie and then at Belphie for oversleeping and missing the meeting and at Asmo, who he says should take care of the situation before he finds himself at 'the pointy end of Raphael's spear. do you think the Seraphim have divisions that they each head? Lucifer doesn't seem inclined to punish Asmo for breaking the rules like he would have in the Devildom and rather lets Raphael take care of it. Mammon trained under Michael before he met Lucifer - so when he was an archangel. And now as an archangel Simeon works for Michael. It's implied previously in this lesson that Lucifer had other thrones working for him. So? Lucifer then asks who MC is. MC says 'I know you' which makes Lucifer's affection meter go up but he says duh obviously you know me, everyone does (and I mean this in the most affectionate way possible but like what a fucking asshole). Asmo introduces MC as a lost angel and says they were planning to find Lucifer. Lucifer asks if they decided to hide MC cause they were scared the other seraphim would find out and this brings up so many questions - How mean exactly are the other seraphim? We know that the brothers are scared of Lucifer but comparatively Asmo's terrified of Raphael and Mammon of Michael. What exactly would the others do to a lost angel? Ik they said simeon was the most easygoing but is it possible Lucifer's the nicest? I mean he did adopt 6 oddball angels, he seems to be trying to help them rise through the ranks, he seems to deal with lost angels regularly, he knows about their slacking off room and hasn't told the others (to be fair tho if anyone needs a slacking off room it's lucifer), they trusted him not to get mad about their room and about the weird 'angel' they found... Mammon changes the subject by asking Lucifer if he was supposed to be heading down to the devildom, when Levi asks why he'd go there, Lucifer says the price is asking to meet with him. Lucifer's says he doesn't like going but that it's his job and that he doesn't have a choice. with the free 50 pulls I got the devilgram about this first meeting and holy shit?? Lucifer was such a bitch and Diavolo STILL took one look at him decided 'damn I'm gonna love this man'?????????? Also the prejudice the angels have against the demons is just??? Lucifer was surprised that education was a thing in the devildom????? The fact that diavolo wanted not just peace but to build a bridge between the three realms and lucifer didn't believe him cause 1.) ew demons are evil but more importantly 2.) 'if that was possible why hasn't my father tried to achieve that?' - just them showing lucifer slowly starting to question everything he was brought up with and his father who looked up to and practically hero-worshipped?? The symbolism of Lucifer finding the devildom clothes he was provided with more comfortable than his angel's armour? Lucifer warming up to diavolo in the end and i dunno guys it was such a good devilgram. i also got the devilgram where lucifer gets jealous of Barbatos, sulks about it, then whines to MC and finally tries to bake cookies for Diavolo... it's not significant to anything i just needed to say that out loud. Back to the main storyline; MC can ask him whether he doesn't like demons or whether he doesn't want to go the devildom. his answer to both is basically 'ew of course not'. He then tells MC he'll ask Michael to help them. MC tells him to have fun with Diavolo and to be friendly. Lucifer is shocked cause it almost sounds like MC knows Diavolo, and he says they're odd cause he feels like even though he just met them it doesn't really feel like that. Asmo agrees and says when he talks to MC it feels like he's talking to someone very dear to him. Mammon's surprised it's not just him who feels that. Belphie says it's a mysterious feeling and Beel says maybe they've all met somewhere before. Levi says maybe MC reminds them of someone they know. Belphie says: "Hey, wait a second. Does MC remind you of Li-" He's cut off by the whole screen going white and '???' saying 'oh dear, what a mess...'

The voice laments about how often Solomon messes shit up, and asks how he could possibly create food that has odd effects on both humans and demons, and that it can't even be classified as food anymore and should be considered a magic potion. They say that Solomon doing these kinda shit without even realising is the worst part. The voice says that MC's consciousness was sent to the past through their dreams cause of Solomon's cooking and that solomon had created an immortality elixir by accident too once. the voice says that despite being a decent human with a good head on his shoulders Solomon can sometimes be more troublesome than the demons cause despite the way he acts he doesn't actually understand his own power. The voice says they'll send MC back home and that they'll forget everything that happened but the effect they had on the brothers as angels will carry on to the future and that in order to ensure the effect doesn't have negative consequences someday the voice will keep an eye on MC from now on. And that the voice will have to think about Simeon as well. They say goodbye until they meet MC again. MC wakes up next to a sleeping Asmo in his bed. When Beel tells them they're finally done cleaning up the bathroom MC tells him they had a wack dream but that they can't remember what it was, Beel says maybe it's something they're better off forgetting. There's a locked chapter that i can't open :')

The lessons over but I've got notes so hear me out!

1. ) The paradox of Mammon and MC's pact- in the previous lesson Mammon said he doesn't make pacts with random humans except as far as we knew then MC was a random human when he made the pact with them. Mammon being the fastest of the brothers also means he could have easily gotten Goldie back without making the pact. This lesson reveals that MC was never a random human and that they'd met thousands of years prior to their 'first meeting' and though neither Mammon nor MC would have remembered that meeting the effect of it would have still carried on. The effect of MC supporting Mammon's schemes and his dreams, the effect of him being flustered by them, of them staring at him in a way that made him blush, of him deciding he liked them, of him feeling like he already knew them and being able to comfortably tease them. And it's probably all of this that led Mammon to make a pact with them. Except MC was stared at him and supported him as an angel cause they already knew him and cared about him as an angel cause they had a pact together and were friends. tldr; the only reason Mammon made a pact with MC was cause they were familiar to him, the only reason they were familiar to him was cause they were nice to him when he was angel, and the only reason they were nice to him as an angel was cause they already had a pact with him and were friends and so on and so on.

2. ) They have so much freedom in the Devildom holy shit??? They went from having a council of scary vaguely sadistic control freaks to just one. They can do whatever they want without any real consequences while in the Celestial Realm a party was seen as something evil? None of them have any real duties in the devildom while they were so busy in the celestial realm they needed a secret room to slack off

3. ) the seraphim seem so much more controlling than diavolo? I mean the man takes any excuse to throw a party and is currently whining about not being allowed to go the human world. While in the celestial realm just talking about wanting to be human is a punishable offence. And yeah sure you could say that I'm comparing the past celestial realm vs the current devildom and that the current celestial realm has probably eased up a lot EXCEPT 01.) in the devilgram with Lucifer's and Diavolo's first meeting Diavolo seems exactly the same as he currently is. 02.) Luke - who is a fairly new angel- 's attitude when he first arrives in the devildom is scarily similar to Lucifer's attitude in the devilgram where he first meets Diavolo 03.) the angel event proves that the Celestial Realm still has a set view on what angels should be like and that the brothers never fit this view

4.) Forming of their sins - the brothers were definitely the odd ones out in the celestial realm even if they were pretty famous and they all had less intense versions of their sins even back then. MC who knows them for only their sins, reinforced them when they were angels which probably led to them embracing these sins more, which would have helped with their fall and with fully developing their sins

5. ) I feel like we might actually get to see michael???? They've been dragging and teasing about finally meeting him for so long.

Pls come talk to me about this lesson! I'm desperate rn i need to hear more thoughts and theories!

#asks #answers #obey me spoilers #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall we date? obey me!#swd obey me #obey me!#obey me mammon #om! mammon #swd mammon #mammon x mc #mammon x reader #my fics #my fic #fics #fic

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justjstuff · 3 years

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6, 9, and 26 for the writing asks! Hope you are having a wonderful day, J 💜

hi, hon! sorry for the wait! hehe thanks for the ask <3 Btw, was it you that reblogged something from Zoey smth-smth? lmfao bro you GOTTA watch Zombieland I swear to god I love that movie, it's so ridiculous xD

6. What point of view do you tend to write in? Do all of your pieces use the same POV? Do you have strong opinions on the POV used in novels?

r: Third person, always. I have VERY strong opinions about 1st person POVs lmfao I actually hate every single book I tried to read in 1st person. It feels very off-putting imo bc I never read a book inserting myself into the character (same reason I can't read y/n fics) so it feels wrong to see it "talking" as if it were me. The only two exceptions to that rule are Twilight bc I read it when I was 8/9/10 and it was the shit back then and Ume's fic the Eventual Descent. I don't know what it is about Ume's fic but I barely even notice that it's in first person, the plot is so captivating, the characters so fucking well-written it's just *chef's kiss*. This isn't to say that I don't change POVs while writing. I know some people say it's "bad writing" but I wholeheartedly disagree. A story can be told by just one person and it's even nice to play with the whole unreliable narrator style and the ramifications of it but that's not the only way to tell a story imo. I do think that the way the guy from GoT wrote his books is terrible tho lmfao. Yeah, mad genius that he is, it's very very VERY uncomfortable to me to be reading about smth that's kinda dull and then as soon as it starts to get interesting I'm suddenly reading about a character that is even more terribly boring than the first one. Lol, I'm probably gonna get hate for it but hey, if it's your thing then it's your thing, this is just my opinion.

Another thing that it's definitely a no-no for me is when the POV changes without a proper sign of it changing. No line breaks, no chapter breaks, nuthin'. It absolutely takes me out of the story when you're reading something and then you have to keep reading back to figure out who is now describing the scene to you. Changing POVs is great imo but it requires a bit more care about how the story is written in general, you gotta be mindful of the flow.

To answer the question, yes I do have strong opinions about it lol.

I should point out that these are all my personal opinions, this doesn't mean at all that if whoever is reading this does the things I don't like that they're a bad writer or anything like that. Even if I had tons of degrees in Literature (which I obviously don't) you should never listen to someone who says things like "this is the way you write well" or "if you do this, then your story sucks". Just tell those people to shut the fuck up. There's no right or wrong in writing, okay? Just what you like and what your readers like. Machado de Assis, one of the most famous Brazilian writers of all time wrote his books with TONS of grammatical mistakes. And you know what happened? We made rules about it lol. Now we accept those "mistakes" as something you can do in Portuguese all because this guy wrote books that people liked. So, yeah. To anyone reading this: DO YOUR THING.

9. What scene was the hardest to write for you and why?

r: Kakashi and Sakura kissing. LMFAO. I took around 200k words to get to a point where they would kiss for the mission, right? And it was fine, I kind of freaked out about it when I wrote but it was cool cool cool. Now, their real kiss? OH MY GOD, bro, I had such a hard time. I think I already told you guys this but I wrote like three times how they would get together and then ended up saving those scenes for later lol. I think this story is just an immense buildup to getting them to a point where I would like to see them together that now that they're finally there I'm... scared? I don't really know. It feels like I forgot how to write romance lmfao I'm currently rewriting their first real kiss for the fourth time I think and it's where I stopped with this writer's block :/

26. What do you feel like you need to work on as a growing writer? How can you improve?

r: This is a really great question. When I started writing (in Portuguese) I kind of copied the style from the books that I used to read at the time which is fine, you can't do anything without copying something first. The thing is, brazilian writing is a bit more... descriptive than English writing in general. Actually, let's make a comparison between English and Portuguese first. There are many linguistic reasons for this which I'm not gonna get into but in general, in Portuguese we use more words to speak. That is because of many many reasons but one of them is the fact that in English there's a process called "verbing" or "verbification" I think? Which is basically, you take a noun and you create a verb out of it. For example, to elbow, to distance, to inconvenience. In Portuguese, to say those things, we have to use more words, it takes us longer to get to the end result. Some more modern examples of it is terms like "Google it" or "Tweet it" or I dunno "DM her". We don't have that in PT.

Let me try and get back on track lol. So yeah, that happens because English speakers but mostly USAmericans tend to have a snappier way of speaking. You are direct and straight to the point in general. When I first started writing, my texts were best described as poems in prose form. lol. I was very descriptive, I took my time making sure the emotion was there and not just the basics to get my readers from point A to point B. I still like that type of writing but it gets tiring if it's a long piece. So, after being corrected by many english teachers on how I structured my stories (they were always very long sentences, sometimes a whole paragraph w only one phrase), I started changing the way I write.

Like anything in life, when you want to make a shift, you usually go from one end of the spectrum to the opposite. A full 180 turn. So I started writing shorter phrases, I stopped describing every single thing in the scene. I decided to let my readers fill in some of the blanks, let them figure out for themselves what kind of dress this character is wearing or how did she get from point A to point B, that's not the important part. Now, if you go see the first maybe ten chapters of Daughter of Fire, you'll see that I exaggerated on that end lmfao. Some things are too vague, some paragraphs could have been two or three sentences instead of five or six. It's okay, I don't go back to change those things bc I think it shows the progress I made as a writer.

What I want to do now, is to reach that middle ground, make a 90 degree turn instead lol. I managed to get better by treating first drafts as first drafts, I get my point across, point A to point B, quick, snappy. Then I go back and edit, I add descriptions, I connect the dots better. And that whole poem as prose thing? I save it for important moments. Those emotion heavy moments in the story where I do want to make the reader stop and feel. It's all a work in progress, I'm not even close to a professional writer or anything like that but that's where I'm at rn. I'm trying to find my feet in that middle ground.

#wow I'm so sorry for writing so much lmfao #see what I mean #I just can't be concise #if my fucking life depended on it #lmfaoooo #ask meme #answered #dof #daughter of fire #writing #writing tips #i guess #lol

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sherlock-is-ace · 3 years

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1/n You're actually learning hindi? By your own personal choice? That is AMAZING! If I'm very honest, I kinda hated the language because see, India is divided into 29+ states and territories, and some states are so diverse and different in terms of language, food, culture, they could be 2 mini Indias uk? Like 2 entire diff mini countries. And there's also this division of India into North and South. Anyway this country is REALLY diverse, so diverse that diverse feels like an understatement

That’s the thing that amazes me the most about India. Like with all the cultural differences, difference in religion, fashion, food or whatever, the thing that amazes me the most is how diverse your country is. I’ve always been facinated by things like idk Canada that has two official languages, but to think India doen’t even have one dkfjhdfg Idk I’m trully facinated by it. Maybe it’s cause in Argentina, no matter where you go, you can perfectly understan everyone, we have quite a difference in accents, but I don’t think there’s much in the language itself, not even slang or stuff like that, I don’t think? So to think that I could not understand someone from my own country sounds very weird to me.

I also never had to learn a language for like survival reasons, like I was born here, so are my parents, my grandparents are from Spain, so we all speak spanish, I never had to learn a language just to be able to communicate with people. If I had met any of my Italian relatives, maybe I would have learnt italian just to talk to them but I was never lucky enough to be surrounded by different languages and cultures :P

That said, I had years of english in school, that I never payed any attention to cause I couldn’t care less lol and also my mom was an english teacher so if I needed to read something I would just ask her lol Until I started watching Youtube and being interested in understanding english that I actually trully learnt it you know? You can’t force yourself to learn a language if you don’t care about it :P So I totally get your trauma with hindi fkjhgdf

For me tho, probably because I’m actually interested in it, it’s super fun! Fun and surprisingly, not that hard. Like I know it’s a whole another alphabet, and sentence structure, but the basics of the language? They’re fine, they make sense, they are somewhat easy for me. Like I didn’t have to deal with understanding that nouns have gender cause spanish nouns also have gender, and a lot of them are the same. I think what I struggle with the most is the respectful ways of forming sentences? lol I guess spanish isn’t really that respectful :P Well at least Argentinian spanish, Spanish spanish is a bit more formal, or maybe it just sounds that way to me idk... Language, man, who knows anything about them? lol

ksjhgkfgjkdf I love the words you chose, you can totally tell you watched LCDP dkfjhgfg :’)

Now see? To me, spanish is a difficult language to learn lol We have a billion verb conjugations depending on the person, and a lot of them, just don’t make sense! dkfjhdfg And we have so many useless letters, like the way they are pronounced is the same so we could get rid of so many! dkjfgf I was lucky enough that I didn’t have to learn it, I mean I learnt it when I learnt to talk and write kfdjhdfg

Anyways, if you ever want to ask anything about spanish, pls don’t hesitate in asking ;) I’m always annoying my friends to help me with hindi so it’s all fine lol

Yeah, number 5 sent twice but I figures it was tumblr being shit like always lol And no, as you can see, you were on anon ;) I totally understand the shyness, I’m the same, but don’t feel embarassed pls! I love chatting with you, you’re really sweet! <3

Aww thank you! See? you’re adorable!! I totally forgot how excited I was about changing my url lol I’ve been thinking one about Berlín or Palermo, but I think I’m gonna stick to the-profe-is-ace to stay on brand and represent aces as well kdjfgdf

YOU ARE SO KINDDDDD!!! dkfjhgdfg You’re the one that deserves all these nice things! <3 I woke up to these asks and I’m already in a good mood :’) so thank you!

Buenos días para vos también! <3 (and you’re not butchering spanish, you’re doing great! ;) )

#lovely anon #ask #anon #long post #B

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cheolbooluvr · 3 years

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*knocks on door* helloo, it's me again 👀 let me start with the most important thing: you're writing is definitely NOT "meh" T_T I love you're writing style, the way you describe thoughts and feelings and the setting, like dude, have you actually read what you write? while we're already at it, I am in absolute love with Woozi's confession part? It perfectly fits his personality, I could imagine that happening exactly this way 🥺 about your milestone prompt game, I was eating breakfast (why do you live on the other side of the world D;) while reading the part with Jeonghan and I almost choked on my cereal because I had to laugh sm when he revealed they had to kiss lmao 😂

and I really loved the other parts, too, especially the one with Wonwoo, it's just...perfect :D

I was just a bit confused because you said it's an established relationship and I thought they already were a couple but I probably just got the wrong idea of what "established relationship" actually means, tbh I have no clue about terms for fanfics now about Leica 🥺 IT'S SO GOOD??? asjkdlaksusakjl the way the reader could tell it's Cheol, or maybe it was just me but I was literally sitting here thinking "I can imagine Cheol doing that...which other member could also fit tho? But Cheol.." ajkhdkjlWJD It's just reeeeeeaally good okay? okay. quick question, are you doing photography, too? 👀 and wait, I'm also on my laptop on tumblr recently since my phone is broken rn oops and I just found out that I can press the windows key and the . (point) key to use emojis? though, idk if that works for you, too I've actually reread both stories, "When we meet again" and "My dream is you", but I was talking about the one with Mingyu <3 and it's so cool that you want to write your own novels! Omg go for it! The talent is definitely there 😌 looking forward to your collabs and what else you planned or already have on hand :D now, last but not least, Vincenzo *clears throat* it's an emotional roller coaster and I don't know what to feel about that T_T I love the show, no doubts, but my heart was broken several times by now and I haven't even reached half time yet :( BUT they are iconic, he is iconic and I'm living for everything they do may I ask who your favourite characters would be? this has nothing to do with you writing, I am so sorry anyway, I should probably go to bed *coughs*, but who needs sleep am I right? well, enjoy your day/evening, stay healthy and safe and take care <3 ~🌙

well well well if it isn't the LOVE OF MY LIFE HI🌙 ANON 💕

okay before we dive in, re: wonwoo's drabble, that was a mistake hahahahaha they are most definitely NOT in an established relationship 😂 i copy and paste the formatting for previous fics and sometimes i forget to change the details (wc, genre, warnings, etc). it's happened a lot so not surprised i forgot to change it again lol

next, WOW THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS 🥺 i hit a wall of self-doubt while i was writing recently and i felt my writing style wasn't good enough :(( but now i'm just using that to push myself and vary my sentence structure and be descriptive but not too descriptive, etc etc. to answer your question if i actually read what i write: no hahaha my brain is dead after i write and then i get fed up w it and then post it and never look back (jk i do reread them sometimes)

the jeonghan one i am rly happy w and i'm glad you enjoyed it 🤗 i was literally abt to go to bed and my brain went: OMG WHAT IF JEONGHAN ENEMIES TO LOVERS and the rest is history.

also i am so glad you like woozi's confession, i struggled a lot w that one 😭 and leica too omg!! i am so so so glad you thought of cheol uwu i'm soft for him and then he posted those photos from his leica lol and i was like YES ANGSTY TIME anyways-- to answer your other question, yes i do do photography!! only digital tho, so any film buffs who read leica will probably eat me alive bc idk how to actually develop film 😭

agshdkfldl thank you for supporting me and my novelist dreams 🥺 super reassuring knowing at least ONE person will read my stories 💕 (also i will try the emoji thing on my computer)

now speaking of collabs, i've already finished one and i MIGHT post a sneak peek bc i'm very excited abt it hehe so keep an eye out ;)

okay and finally: VINCENZO. it's quite the whirlwind, keeps you on your toes 24/7, funny, sad, lovely, hilarious, it rly ticks a lot of boxes that most kdramas don't usually do. the heartbreak tho, OOF, lemme just say you need to prepare yourself. fav characters? hong cha young: absolute QUEEN, she is so incredible and honestly everything i ever aspire to be. i also just love all of the tenants of geumga like they add so much color to the show. i think vincenzo would be a lot darker without them which would be FINE but i'm glad they're there ☺ also plz we don't have to talk abt my writing all the time lol

also plz get some sleep!! rest up, drink water, and always stay safe and healthy <333

#cheolbooluvr asks #cheolbooluvr 🌙 anon

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dumbdancemomssideblog · 4 years

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S1E1: The Competition Begins

okie dokie first ever episode of dance moms rewatch starts now :0 i actually remember watching this the very first time it aired on lifetime because i was channel surfing and saw a commercial for it earlier that day. that was the summer between 8th and 9th grade. ah memories... i didnt know what to expect because i did dance when i was a kid but not on a competition team and it was mostly ballet so i was pretty unfamiliar with this whole world.

anyway lets begin. this is probably gonna be a longer post than what i’ll end up writing for the other episodes in season 1 bc the first episode introduces so much info, just a heads up

Act 1: (aside: yes its insufferable to divide this into “acts” when its really just like “segments separated by commercial breaks” but thats how they’re called in actual tv scripts so im just going with that cuz i cant think of a better/easier way uwu)

god this is so fucking early 2010s lmao

i miss these days where they were just talented nobodies from pittsburgh on a low budget reality tv show that nobody even knew would be successful. and the bad hair and makeup but idk if that was also just a 2011 thing lol

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES GREEN SCREEN INTROS IM DYING

the chalkboard !!!! they werent doing the pyramid on the mirror yet

(apparently abby never did anything similar to the pyramid thing but the producers made her and it became a whole Thing on the show and thats why the moms were like wtf is this bullshit the first week)

mackenzie looks like a toddler. chloe is so tiny. theyre the 2 who changed the most physically over the course of the show

i remember watching this for the first time being used to ballet lyrical and jazz but never having done or really seen acro/gymnastics in dance choreo and being SO flabbergasted. i was thinking “a chin stand is not dancing what the actual hell” and yknow what? i was right

melissa: “my boyfriend knows how much i spend on dance because he signs the checks...............hermehhemrherrmehermh” (the most awkward laugh omg)

maddie is wearing a fucking bumpit in her hair i cannot

melissa deadass just said out loud “im here for my daughter im not here to make friends” ok everybody mark that one off on your catty women’s reality tv show bingo card!

camera man accidentally getting in the shot filming right in front of the huge wall-mirror.... what is this, amateur hour? i’ll let it slide since its the first day of filming rehearsal but step it up, boys

aw i forgot about maddie getting sick and crying :/ poor kid

melissa saying “i cant stand a chid that’s sick” sounds so edited like the intonation made it seem to me like they just cut her off mid-sentence i love lifetime

oh this was still when they were wearing normal stuff to class/rehearsal like black leotards bc they werent getting sent a trillion crazy 2-piece dancewear outfits for free yet bc they werent famous, man those were the days

Act 2:

[obligatory b-roll footage of downtown pittsburgh]

the maddie chloe paige trio !!!! this is making me feel so nostalgic

“knees together, paige. you’re bow-legged, you need to fix that”

“you’re tall, you’re skinny, you’re a beautiful girl, you can do better than this. FOCUS” shes like 10 abby what the hell

“people think im tough and i guess i am but i would rather be the one to make your kid cry in the privacy of my studio than at an open-call audition in front of hundreds of people”

okay unpopular opinion alert: i agree with a lot of what abby says about stuff like this but her delivery is flawed, to but it euphemistically, that being said i think the production team of the show and the fame inflating her ego changed all of this somewhere over the course of the second season and its really sad to see :/ i can expand on that thought later tho

aw paige crying bc abby correcting her (but not saying anything personal or out of line, just technique corrections (at based on what we were shown, we dont know everything she said oop)) shes a sensitive kid she never should have been put on this show :(

paige looks exactly like her mom i didnt realize that before

nia and holly were done so dirty throughout the whole series in terms of the narrative the producers set up about nia being the weakest link :/

Act 3:

cathy’s entire involvement in the show from the very beginning was so painfully obviously scripted (or at least heavily staged)

vivi was also done dirty by the show’s narrative and she was only 6 and they presented her as like the butt of the joke bc her mom’s “character” was crazy and also she wasnt good at dance. i wonder how she feels about the show now that shes a teenager hmm. she really seemed not to give a fuck about dance for better or for worse when she was a kid tho so maybe she doesnt care ?

in what universe would an owner of another competitive dance studio bring her own kid to another studio more than an hour’s drive away, AND be under the impression that she could compete with them in a week, especially when they showed the kids’ and moms’ shocked reaction at the start of the episode to having to learn a dance in a week and compete it? like really what is the point of cathy and vivi being a part of this show im so ????

Act 4:

THE MINISTER DAWN OUTBURST HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THIS

this fight is about 50% of what got them a full season 1 and then things took off from there tbh. the other 50% was the electricity dance but thats a point for next episode..... :)

“you’re a minister act like one” “YOU’RE RIGHT I AM A MINISTER! LET’S PLAY THE BIBLE GAME ABBY, WHEN JESUS SAW THINGS THAT WERE WRONG HE WENT AFTER THEM, AND YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS TO MY KID” ma’am i think the wrongs jesus addressed were of slightly more importance than a preteen being told she cant take a dance class if shes violating the studio’s dress code

this is so good bc it wasnt staged afaik and there are regular students all throughout the building just STARING at them like lmao what even is going on, so im pretty sure this is real???

regardless, yeah dont wear socks and a tshirt to an acrobatics class, thats common fucking sense

another cameraman-in-mirror sighting, but its hard to think about angles when filming spontaneous drama like this, so i wont count it against them

“you called me fat” (i remember that being in the episode but thats not on the episode available through lifetime on demand that im watching from my moms tv hmmmmmm) “i told you to close and tuck in your two-piece costume, theres a big difference. HOW CAN YOU REMEMBER THAT BUT YOU CAN’T REMEMBER TO TURN YOUR FEET OUT” uh scream

she really called the police on this woman i cannot handle this. can you imagine being a police officer responding to this call?

“we have a parent thats out of control. pardon? no shes doesnt have weapons, just her mouth” iconic

im sorry im still not over the hair and makeup. the flat hair with the side bangs. the black pencil eyeliner applied all the way around the eye. why did any of us think this was a look :( why did we do this :(

Act 5:

they went all the way to phoenix to compete 3 numbers, only 2 of which are shown in the episode.

i think this is the only time they ever went to west coast dance explosion because its an actual competition and they wouldnt allow filming after this lol i think they did go to wcde one weekend in addition to a competition where they were filming but it wasnt shown or mentioned at all

abby not wanting brooke and paige to have a french manicure on stage if theyre the only ones in the group with the french tips is perfectly valid idk why it was framed as some crazy micromanaging shit

i also am really not a fan of the whole “high functioning alcoholic wine mom/crazy stage mom” schtick they were pushing for the first few episodes of this show

in retrospect i feel like so many of the quips in this episode were intentionally fucking crazy just to get the audience engaged enough to want to watch more episodes...

“see those girls down there, those girls with the legs? thats who you’re up against, so step it up”

abby warning them that its dangerous for their little party hats to slip when they’re doing aerials and pirouettes and stuff: “what if you were at radio city music hall and they had the ice rink out and you were doing a side aerial and fell 13 stories down and died, huh?” fantastic point abby thank you for saying that to 5 girls ages 8-12 less than 5 minutes before they went on stage. perfect time for a teaching moment like that :)

i forgot how bad the camera work was in the first few episodes for footage of their performances. like they really didnt think the show’s audience would actually want to watch the kids dance, the producers and editors thought we just wanted to see stage mothers yelling at each other lol

also the mic feed over the music of abby talking to herself giving them corrections while watching them dance on stage.... im so glad they quit doing that. i dont remember them doing it like that for any other episode, i hope im right

this choreo is very basic and its a cute dance i guess but its very cringe in some places and for the first episode this is such a forgettable group routine

their scandalized reaction to placing third and the sad piano music is so funny honestly

and maddies reaction in the interview which was almost definitely fed to her by the producers where shes like “i win all the time i dont really know what its like to LOSE i always win or get runner up” so many of maddies lines from season 1 interviews sound so fake and she was probably too naive to know they were getting her to say that stuff so they could paint her as a conceited brat (she was EIGHT)

the trio costume was so ugly im sorry (is it supposed to be like a 50s pinup bathing suit?) (and the headband thing looks so bad) and also the music is bad but they had no real authority over that bc of copyright stuff

chloe’s headpiece coming forward and the ensuing drama was another moment in the episode that really solidified public interest in the show imho....

“YOU’RE IN THE BAR HAVING A DRINK AND YOUR KID’S HEADPIECE IS FALLING OFF” “it did not FALL OFF it CAME FORWARD it was FINE!!!”

“mistakes happen, we’re human.” “YOU are. mistakes like that dont happen to me”

and then the “next time on dance moms” with the WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE electricity dance, of course. genuinely that was really smart of the producers in terms of structuring things to generate intrigue lol. and obviously it ended up working....

#dance moms #s1e1 #season 1

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literaphobe · 4 years

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that's so AWESOME, being a polyglot sure as hell is hot! and such an advantage with korean fanart! If you don't mind, which one is your favourite (for writing, speaking, listening)? When talking, do you alternate between the three of them?? Which one do you think is the easiest? Any anecdote involving language?? How do you got interested in learning korean?? i don't know, id like to read more about it asdkdj

hehe sometimes i see the korean spop art n comics on twitter and they will have some like english translation and i will feel like an insider because i will look at the original korean one and know what it Really says

also! english is the language i’m technically the most proficient in? but when i speak to family n friends who speak english and chinese i tend to code-switch! it is fun and also my parents used to make me terrified of chinese because they would scold and belittle me constantly for not speaking it well when i was like in my preteens to teens (even tho it was their fault! for almost exclusively speaking english to me because english proficiency is an advantage and is prioritized in my country). but my mom now admits i speak chinese well <3 i don’t necessarily know all the words but whatever i say tends to come out nice <3 also with korean.... mmm its hard to get opportunities to speak it because i don’t know anyone who can speak korean with me <3 i feel very shy about using it <3 there was a period of time tho when i spoke korean to my dogs for fun it was funny

between english chinese and korean..... it’s interesting because english and chinese both for the most part follow the SVO (subject verb object) sentence structure, whereas korean follows a SOV (subject object verb) sentence structure. BUT english and korean both have an alphabet (its why i learnt how to read korean in like! idk an hour i’m guessing) whereas chinese does not </3 its a... [big sigh] pictorial language. so each character is some new fucking picture you gotta learn. SUCH a bitch in oral examinations because sometimes u will just come across a word that u don’t know! never seen that shit before! so u don’t know how to read it <3 so it’s like a guessing game where there is every chance you will be completely wrong <3 so sometimes u gotta fucking <3 pretend the word doesn’t exist <3 or make up your own pronunciation <3 i remember sitting in a hall once with two of my malay friends and they were moaning about how scared they were because what if they pronounce stuff wrong :( and i’m like aw :( well :( but at least u have an alphabet :( which is like the same letters as the one in english :( that’s like safer right because how wrong can u go? and they’re like ok but u see :( the word could be said slightly different as compared to how its spelt :( and i’m like oh <3 that must be so hard <3

and the thing is u see. they learnt exactly how much easier they had it. because our school had this program where they made the chinese students learn malay and the students who spoke malay, hindi, tamil, basically everyone who was not chinese. they had to learn chinese </3 and that was honestly like a racist hate crime, because after class my friends would come up to me on the verge of tears like. michelle :’( HOW are you doing this. chinese class is so scary we hate it why must we memorise every new character. and me, who got second in class for malay (the ONLY reason why i didn’t get first was because i forgot what ‘yellow’ was in malay. and now i will always remember it is ‘kuning’. anyway my malay teacher was BEAUTIFUL and she told me i got full marks for reading because i said everything perfectly. i did not understand a single word of the malay passage i was reading <3) was like i am so sorry :( you do not deserve this :(

anyway its a hate crime to make a person learn english and chinese because imo those are two of the most different languages in the world :) its why white people fucking suck at chinese. and honestly so do most chinese american like. actors. ever seen a movie where they speak chinese? most times they are speaking it horribly <3 anyway, learning korean was really interesting because of how it strengthened my chinese! like, because a lot of korean words came from chinese (there are korean words taken from japanese too. because. well. lmao) and the korean alphabet was literally invented because traditional han characters (written chinese) was too fucking hard. even the chinese people realized traditional chinese was too fucking hard and decided to make simplified chinese. like make those pictures less complicated!

the reason why i learnt korean was because. of this korean variety show called running man. it is the most internationally recognized korean variety show. so what this show is is like. there is a main cast made up of actors, singers, and comedians. and they are forced to compete against each other/team up to achieve a common goal, through playing various games and stuff with a final objective that involves someone winning/getting punished. it’s a little hard to explain, but they’re like an irl found family trope (while also being fictional? because they essentially play characters on that show that are like exaggerated versions of themselves) with EVERY AU ever. like seriously think of a concept they’ve probably done it. high school, super powers, super heroes, aliens, college students, olympic athletes, sherlock holmes, james bond, chess, etc etc etc. so an example of this would be like the staff will tell the members “this week you are the drama department in the high school and you are competing against the athletics department to determine who is the best club in the school” and they’ll have to do it. and sometimes the cast gets really into the theme of the ep and its really funny when they gotta Act to sell something. anyway they also have this game which the show invented called ‘nametag ripping’ so essentially on their backs everyone has a name tag stuck to their clothes with velcro and you have to rip off the nametags of other people. the cast in this show has incredible chemistry so the banter is amazing and very funny. i also have to admit i additionally liked the show because two of the members had this ‘best enemies, best collaborators’ chemistry that i found very compelling and fun to watch. so i started learning korean so i could get what they were saying without subs ie watch the show live. and i guess my parents found that impressive which is why my mom constantly nags me to learn more languages. which. is not gonna happen because i have adhd <3 and the thing about me is. i won’t say i’m a genius. but i can do anything so long as i want to do it. its the worst superpower to have <3 so anyway. that’s why i know korean i guess! sorry this is so long

#ask #hahaha #Anonymous

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purpleyoonn · 2 years

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hallloooooo, how are you doing???? Bruh (can I call you bruh? that's gender neutral right??? feel free to tell me to fuck off tho) I'm trying to write some shit right now since I have maladaptive daydreaming and I thought it would be cool if I could put it into something and make it coherent??? And since I've been reading fanfics with x readers, I thought it was a good idea? But dammmmnnnnn, STRUCTURING YOUR SENTENCES IS HARDDD. (I'm not an english speaker too lmao). Like bruh, the times I needed to remind myself how English grammar works and translating words from language to language is so confusing, like bruh, my respect for authors like you is through the roof lmaoooo. I'm currently trying to write the prologue of a time travelling fic with a poly bts, and my gosh, creating a coherent kinda realistic word is already fucking hard. I know where I'm going with it, but 90% of the time I forgot that i need to type and then I forget what I was going to write next.

So yeah, that's all thanks for reading my rant. Love you! And please, bless me your motivation and creativity.

Okay for me, my advice is to actually write as your mind flows. Forget about grammar right now. Forget about any English rule. Just write. It will help you get everything down that you want, and you can always come back later and fix what you would like to.

As a native English speaker, English is hard. Like really hard😂

I typically write a draft with bullet points. Tons of Bullet points and half written words. Nothing would make sense to anyone who wasn’t me.

At this point in the process, you just need to get your thoughts on paper. Get a semi coherent draft on paper and then go from there.

p.s. I call everyone bruh so you’re good😊

#purpleyoonn #purpleyoonn ask

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alcego · 6 years

Note

UR SO GOOD AT ACTION AND DETAIL I CANTTT do u have any advice for working on that bc holy shit u r God w that shit

finally, my time has come to surpass god :^) jkjk

uhhh well, hmm. i’m gonna try and figure out how to put this into words, but my brain’s a bit mushy rn so We Will See how that goes

a lot of action lies in diction, pacing, and sentence structure. that sounds kinda weird, but it’s true.

listen, when you think action you’re almost definitely not thinking of the mechanics behind those motions. you’re thinking of fast, quick, heart wrenching motions that bring your heart into your throat and have you sitting at the edge of your seat.

writing, as a whole, is an exercise in rhythm and pacing. take, for example, this:

Lee jumped onto Johnson’s shoulders. He laughed and tousled Johnson’s hair, but Johnson grabbed him by the forearm and threw him to the ground.

there are a few mechanics at play here:

lee jumping

lee laughing & tousling johnson’s hair

and johnson grabbing him by the arm & tossing him to the ground

in that blurb, the action doesn’t really flow. it’s just there. we know what’s happening, it makes sense, but it’s not painting a picture or anything

so what could you do to bring it to life?

think about the 5 W’s: who, what, when, where, and why? who’s doing this? what is “this”? when are they doing it, and where? and, most importantly, why are they doing it? while you don’t gotta write out a list of these things (tho it can help if you’re stuck) keeping them in mind can bring immediate change to your writing

another thing that i’ve found to be helpful in writing action/description (especially both at the same time) is a sense of immediacy or involvement with your narrator. what are they seeing, thinking, feeling? how does the scene change if it’s being told from lee’s pov vs johnson’s?

and, last but not least: remember the fundamentals. vary your sentences (begin with -ing, -er, -ly words), end sentences and paragraphs when the subject changes, and keep an eye on the rhythm. (does it feel right when you read it aloud or in your head? are there words clogging up the rhythm and slowing you down, forcing you to wait and see what the fuck’s going on? does it move too fast or too slow for what you’re trying to convey?)

keeping all these things in mind (which is a practiced skill – i’m constantly getting after myself about everything i’ve just mentioned) you can work your way up to a more involved scene with higher stakes

Creeping, Lee nudged his soft leather boots across the branch. Beneath him, Johnson grunted and nudged their broken pod with a steel-covered toe. There was a clunk.

Lee smiled. Jumped. And landed on Johnson’s shoulders.

Johnson squawked and grabbed at Lee’s arm. Delighted with his success, Lee tousled Johnson’s scrupulously tidy hair and didn’t bother holding back the laughter in his belly.

Then questing fingers dug into his skin, pushing, pulling, finding, and Lee felt gravity shift as he was moving – falling.

For a moment, Lee saw the trees. The branches, upended just as he was, blurred with his motion. Then he felt the dank sod against his back, and he was staring Johnson in the eye.

the same mechanics are at play here as before, but now it feels more intimate, more catching. adding detail & focusing on the sensations behind each action (as well as what i mentioned above) can do wonders for a scene.

smth that i forgot to mention above (and apologies for rambling, not joking about my brain being gone) is the rule of thirds. you’ve probably heard of it before in regard to visual arts. so what does it mean for writing?

it creates a specific sort of tension & release in a writing. when you want to up the intensity (ie: Then questing fingers dug into his skin, pushing, pulling, finding, […]) the rule of thirds can do that for you easily.

uhhh shit man i’m not real clear on wtf i’m saying rn so feel free to hmu with some more questions & i’ll try and give uhhh more clear/concise answers but i feel like i’m deadass rambling rn so uhh yea here hope this helps!!

#writing #nonny #answer

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lamptracker · 7 years

Text

Prompt Request!

For the anon that requested #16,#17 and #18 from this list: http://lamptracker.tumblr.com/post/164256132503/request

#16: “Get out!” #17: “I don’t need you.” #18: “Maybe I’m better off alone.”

Pairing: Peter Parker/Reader

Word count: 1,119

Summary: You get mad when Peter blows you off for a study session.

You run into your room, slam the door shut behind you, and angrily throw your backpack to the ground. Peter was supposed to help you study for your chemistry exam, again. And Peter blew you off, again.

Ned had said at lunch today to give him another chance, as Peter was really busy with the Stark Internship. You reluctantly agreed, and you’d decided to meet at the library down the street right after school.

3:00 came...then 4:00...then 5:00 and a text from your mother asking when you were coming home for supper. By 5:30, you’d given up and decided to come home.

At 6:00, you got a text from Peter:

Peter Parker: OMG, I am SO SORRY. I meant to text you but I totally forgot, got a last minute call from Mr. Stark. I will make it up to you, I promise.

(Y/n): Whatever, Peter. I can study myself.

Peter Parker: You said you needed help with quantum theory of molecular structures tho

(Y/n): I don’t need you. I can figure it out

(Y/n): Maybe I’m better off alone

Peter Parker: Please, (y/n). Let me make it up to you

(Y/n): Don’t bother, Peter. See you tomorrow.

You pour over your chemistry textbook, desperately trying to make sense of the words on the page. Maybe you did need Peter. He was way smarter than you - one of the top students in your class. He could do this stuff blindfolded and in its original Latin; you could barely figure out what it said in English.

Plus, it didn’t help that you’d developed a crush on him. You two had been friends since middle school. He’d always been your study buddy. When school dances rolled around, you always went in a group with him, Ned, Michelle and a few other people. (You’d always get in at least one slow dance with him. And two with Ned. Once with Michelle, after Ned offered to buy lunch for both of you for a week.)

But somewhere along the line, you woke up and realized you had feelings for him. His soft brown eyes, wavy auburn hair and bright smile stirred up something in you. All you wanted was to hold his hand, cuddle with him, kiss him.

Right now, though, you just want to kill him.

Ever since he’d gotten the Stark Internship, he’d been… flaky. He’d always been reliable - showing up early to study sessions, coming prepared with well-highlighted notes and pre-made flashcards and your favorite snacks. Lately, he’d been coming late - if he bothered even showing up at all.

It was taking a toll on your friendship.

And now that you’re in love with him? It’s even harder.

You sigh and decide to get a glass of water and some M&M’s. Sugar always helps you study (despite Ned crying about the “placebo effect” and then getting mad when you don’t share). When you go back to your room, there is a shadowy figure standing in the middle of it.

You nearly drop your snack in shock.

“Who are you? What are you doing in my room? Get out!” You exclaim as you flip on the light to reveal…

Spider-Man?

“What… I mean… why are you in my room?”

“Oh, you know. I was just swinging by and… and you looked like you needed a friend.”

You snorted. “Don’t you have a city to save or something?”

“Well… yes. But I also care about the people in that city. So, what’s going on?”

You cannot believe what is happening to you. Leave your room for two minutes, and you come back and Spider-Man wants to help you with your problems?! Did Ned slip something into your M&M’s the last time he was here?

You sigh. “Okay. Here goes, I guess. Um… my friend Peter blew off a study session. He’s got this internship with Tony Stark that’s apparently a big deal or something. I’m having a really hard time with my advanced chem class and he’s the only one that can really help me understand the material. And he just… blew me off. This isn’t the first time either. I get that Mr. Stark is a demanding guy but… but that just sucks, you know?”

Spider-Man just nods. You take in a shaky breath, and continue.

“I don’t even know why I’m so mad.” You stare down at the floor, playing with your hands. “I guess...you know what makes this harder? Somewhere along the line… why am I telling you this? I haven’t told anybody this? But here we go… I kinda sorta fell in love with him. Wow. That sounds weird to say out loud. But...yeah. I’m in love with Peter Parker. And I don’t know what to do about it.” You look up from your hands and start to fix your gaze on Spider-Man. “This is so stupid, I…”

You stop, mid-sentence.

Spider-Man has taken off his mask, revealing his true identity:

Peter Parker.

Time seems to freeze as he looks at you with a mixture of emotions:

Regret. Sorrow. Love? You think the third one’s love.

“Um… Peter, I… uh… so, how long you been in there?” you chuckle.

Peter says nothing. He just reaches up a gloved hand to caress your cheek, leans over, and kisses you softly.

“(Y/n). I wanted to tell you. But I couldn’t risk it.”

“Risk what?”

Peter sighs. “I’ve been in love with you for so long. Every time we dance together at a school dance, it takes everything I have to not just kiss you then and there. But, well, I’m Spider-Man. And I have enemies. I couldn’t…” he swallows thickly, blinking back tears. “If something were to happen to you, I don’t know how I could live with myself, I-”

You cut him off with another kiss. This one is rougher than the first one, all passion and tongues and all the feelings you’ve been suppressing for months finally surfacing.

“Wow,” he says breathlessly after you part.

“Peter,” you say, “you know what? That is a risk I’m willing to take.”

“But what if someone tries to come after you?”

You scoff. “I’ll be fine. My boyfriend is Spider-Man.”

“B...boyfriend?”

“Well, sure. I mean, if you want.”

“Of course.” He kisses you once more. “I am really sorry about today. And all the other times I blew you off.”

“I forgive you, Peter. Now is there any way you can change out of that suit? I am having a really hard time with this chemistry chapter. I cannot fail this quiz tomorrow and I really need your help.”

Peter laughs. “You bet.”

#peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #tom holland #tom holland fanfiction

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dachi-chan25 · 4 years

Text

So I clearly played myself *sigh* some of this books weren't what I expected and I still need to read a shit ton of sequels to series i fricken loved.

1.-Marked (House of Night #1) by PC Cast /Kirstin White

🌟🌟

So clearly I knew this book was gonna be silly and stuff, like it got me cringing so hard at all those 'not like the other girls' super speshul girl and it has low key a lot of cultural appropiation, so yeah, still was a really quick read and what the heck I'll try the next one to see if it gets better than this. I mean there has to be a reason why someone wants to turn this into a tv series right??

2.-Día de Muertos: Antología del cuento mexicano de V.A

🌟🌟🌟

Realmente siento que es una antología muy inconexa, el título y la portada indican claramente una relación directa entre los relatos y el día de Muertos, sin embargo el espíritu de la festividad solo es capturado en un puñado de historias que es lo que me hizo dar tres estrellas al libro, porque aunque el resto de los cuentos no son malos siento que entraron a la antología con calzador pues no tenían nada que ver con día de muertos .

3.- Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman

🌟🌟🌟

Ok, I did not disliked it, the book manages to be very atmospheric and really create some plausibility among all the whimsy but the characters were never really developed much?? And some were tragically underused (the Aunts) I just think the movie made the story/characters much better.

4.- Society of Wishes (Quartet of Wishes #1) by Elise Kova

🌟🌟

I had totally forgot I owned this book (I bought it cuz I knew the MC was a latina girl and yah) and well it is what it is, just a mess filled with hunky ass time wizards or some shit like that with barely any plot, development or much of anything really, definitely not reading the next ones.

5.-Hemlock Grove by Brian McGreevy

🌟🌟

I am heart broken, I wanted to like this book so badly, but it was all over the place imho, the narrative style was plain out confusing at times (like it threw me back to that time when I was a pretentious ass 15 yo trying to read Ulysses by James Joyce) and don't get me wrong I like writers who spice things up with the flow of their sentences like Chuck Palahniuk but I just couldn't get into it, I feel the series managed to tell this story in a much more organized and in depth fashion.

6.- Vampire Academy (Vampire Academy #1) by Richelle Mead

🌟🌟🌟

I expected nothing of this, and I actually kinda enjoyed it because I think the book it's true to itself, it sets a tone from the beginning and doesn't deviate from it . Is it predictable? As fuck Is it full of every single trope under the sun? YUP, but it never pretends otherwise and it's fine (also I am a thot for vampires so idc) I will continue this series.

7.-Battle Royale by Koshun Takami

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I LOVED it, I had watched the movie, but oh boy it doesn't build the characters the way the book does. It's brutal, dynamic full of optimism even in such a hopless horrific situation. The only thing that kinda had me in stiches was the fact that nearly every damn female character wanted to get it on with Shuuya.

8.- Tale of the Body Thief (Vampire Chronicles #4) by Anne Rice

🌟🌟🌟🌟

This is my frist re-read of this book and damn, Lestat is truly a himbo, he just makes the most idiotic desisions and then is upset because they come to bite him in the ass but he is also kinda charming so what the hell?? David, poor summer child he really thought Lestat would respect his desision 😂😂 this is a real fun book (I mean the whole ass discussion about Faust is as fake deep as u can get) and it really drives home how much of a hot mess is Lestat. (Also Louis u bitch!!! How dare u betray him it's not like u had tried to kill him before multiple times xD honestly Lestat's logic)

9.-The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I adored this, the atmosphere Neil created in this book is absolutely beautiful, every detail and character Bod meets in the cementary adds so much to a rather simple story, the world building, the sense of magical realism it's just something I always appreciate in Neil's books, this really has become one of my faves and I will try and re-read this very soon.

10.-Dracul by Dacre Srocker

🌟🌟🌟🌟

I was on the fence about this one, like Dracula is one of my all time favorite books, and when I found out his great grand nephew was writing a precuel of Bram's most famous work I felt it was an easy money-grab scheme but then I heard a lot of positive reviews and people started talking how this book gives a back story to one of Dracula's brides and that it was based on some notes Bram left behind I decided to try it, and I don't regret it. I mean it wasn't what I expected, the book is more historical fiction and Dacre tries perharps a little too hard to emulate Bram's writing style/structure but the plot really managed to trap me and it was quite an intresting story.

11.-Bone Music by Christopher Rice

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

This is the frist book I read from him (like even tho I like her books a lot i don't fucks with Anne Rice cuz she is awful to anyone who critisizes her books or tries to write fanfic of em so yeah I wasn't so keen in reading her son's work) but it was a very pleasant surprise, those twist he makes at the very beginning of the book left me gaping like a fish, I was emotionally involved with the characters and I definitely look forward to read more books on the Burning Girl series.

12.- Final Girls - Riley Sager

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Slashers are some of my favorite things in the world, and this book gets a lot of the tropes/atmosphere right and still, manages to be original and deconstruct them, turn the reader on his expectations and deliver a great ending, will definitely continue with the series.

13- Hidden Bodies by Caroline Kepnes

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Joe Goldberg is a punk ass bitch and I hope the ending stays as it was, like how lucky is this bastard, and at one point I was like, no way are all this people around him so dumb likeeeeeee he is such an unreliable narrator that idk if the things he say are really happening or all is part of his self important delusional mind, I really liked this sequel even if Joe barely struggled until the end (he was living the Life u guys) it was a fun read.

14- The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie

🌟🌟🌟🌟

This is Hercule Poirot's frist book, and he is so different from the books I have read, but still brilliant and with his quirks, it really captured me, I always enjoy a good murder mystery and Agatha Christie always delivers.

15.- The Girl who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

King is back in my good graces, this book is terrifying it really takes u along Trisha's emotional journey, all the desperation, the defeat,the hope, really is such a complex beautiful emotional ride of this amazingly brave little girl, and damn Stephen u can write female character's well y u wrote that mess in Bag of Bones like whyyy dude? ?? I simply loved this one, made me cry so much.

16.-#Murdertrending by Gretchen McNeil

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

This was such a fun dynamic read, I finished it in one sitting. The whole concept of Alcatraz 2.0 was pretty darn great, the painiacs, ahhh so good, I wished the rest of the characters apart from Dee were more developed but I know it would have given the plot twist away if they had so it's fine, I am really looking forward to reading Murderfunding.

That was it, my reads were either meh or omgggg I loved it!!! I hope this months my reads are all good.

#november wrap up #november 2019 #booklr #dachi reads stuff #dachi rambles

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aretherelesbians · 7 years

Text

Are There Lesbians? No

What Happens? Elloren is the granddaughter of the powerful Black Witch so everyone expects great things from her. Unfortunately, in a society that values magic over everything else, she has none.

The Verdict: I didn’t start reading this in order to tear it to pieces. I read it because I’d seen people make snaps judgements about a book based on a review rather than reading the damn thing themselves. Unfortunately here we are and I can’t get the hours of my life back I spent reading The Black Witch. Boy I wish I could. I can see where the author was going with this, and I think that with some editing it could be a thoughtful discussion of prejudices and how hard it is to overcome them, especially when raised in an insular society. The emphasis here is on the phrase “with some editing” because seriously I’m not convinced this book was actually edited. Sentence structure is often confusing, and characters have… well no character. Pretty much the only thing I enjoyed about this book was the world-building, it seemed like the only part of the novel with an actual research put into it. Unfortunately that’s not even remotely enough to hold up over 270 pages of novel (that’s about where I stopped, I don’t know how many more pages there are and I’m afraid to check.)

ANYWAY below the cut is a blow-by-blow of what I was thinking as I read. Some of them don’t have page numbers because I took screenshots and then forgot what page they were on (^▽^”)

"Where are you Sage? I wonder unhappily. She's been gone without a trace for well over a year. What could have possibly happened to you?"

Whatever happened to "show don’t tell"?! The whole page this was on was a disaster

It’s like a poor man’s Wicked, without the social commentary or good writing, also this world is like the inverse of the Black Jewels in that the men have all the magic instead of the women and also Black Jewels was well written.

It’s not til the beginning of ch.3 that we find out where the superiority complex comes from - first hint of irony "at least that’s what our holy book... tells us" p.31

Elloren continues to refer to the Selkie as "her" rather than "it" despite what her aunt says, which is nice but also the baseline. Unfortunately she also doesn’t question the Selkie’s designation as an animal, considers her as one would a puppy... "My brothers would agree. They’re staunchly against the abuse of animals" p.54

Elloren doesn’t question anything but then, when one is raised in a relatively insular society you don’t question. Things are what they are and there is no other option. It’s not until said other options are presented that you realise they were there all along.

She's still annoying tho

"A starlit sky overhead, we arrive, the carriage pulling up before Aunt Vyvian's three-story home, arching windows lit golden and an expansive, dark wooden staircase spilling towards us in welcome."

WHAT DOES THAT SENTENCE EVEN SAY???!!!!

"You don’t have to know anything, dear... I’ve taken you under my wing. And that’s the best place to be. Simply sit back, enjoy it and follow my lead." Pp.64-5 - Aunt Vyvian.

Elloren doesn’t seem all that interested in knowing outside the expected spheres however. It’s all well and good to not know certain ideas etc, but there is no desire to learn outside her immediate realm of interest ie. apothecary

The girls characterisation is painfully 2D. It’s uncomfortable and makes me hate them... if I consider them at all, I want to skip their entire first conversation

They’re only here for exposition

"'I know how much you have suffered, Kam.' The sorceress's face flinches. 'No. You do not.'"

This is good! I like this attitude. But still... that it’s so noticeable really says something about this book :/

There’s just some weird phrasing - start of part two reads like a tense change (it’s not but I had to read it twice)

"This Yvan Guriel doesn't even know me, I lament, glaring resentfully at him out of the corner of my eye. He has no right to be so hateful."

But it’s fine for her to hate/fear people she doesn’t know. Honestly, White People.

Do you have to add Yvan's race like its a prefix every time he’s mentioned in ch.3? We get it! He's a Kelt! You don’t need to keep mentioning it.

So much is happening in this book and it gets in the way of actual character development - first a ball now a tournament. Not to mention a university welcoming assembly and various attacks which don’t do anything but solidify Elloren’s (and, maybe it’s supposed to solidify ours too?) hatred against the Icarals who have every right to hate her.

Feels like the Gardnerians are increasingly Jewish coded - lost people reclaiming the land of their holy book, priests wear black, and they have dark often curly hair. Apparently there is something later on about how the backstory they've been told isn’t actually true, so this line of thinking may all fall apart with that... but I didn't get that far...

Does this girl not know snitches get stitches? Why she gotta run to everyone for help. Do your own damn dirty work, I don’t care how weak you think you are

"Translucent black lines curl out from the wand tip, fluidly making their way toward me. I gasp as they flow and curl around my body. At first I feel a gentle pressure from the,, tickling at my skin, teasing. And then they tighten. It's impossible to resist as the swirling lines pull at my waist, my arms, my legs. I find it both exciting and disconcerting to be so much in his power. My feet skid over the grassy ground as he pulls me closer, until I’m right before him. Once there, he flicks his wrist, and the black lines dissolve as he languidly wraps his arms around me"

Creepy yeah, but I’ve read worse and Beautiful Disaster has 4 stars on Goodreads so...

She doesn’t even try to be nice, or anything other than hateful and disparaging (or a bystander) but expects everyone to be on their best behaviour towards her

"The chalky smell of minerals, as well as the acrid tang of Bornial flint, hang in the air, but it's freshened by the cool, clean scent of Spine-stone, and I breathe it all in without reserve" p.241

There is so much extraneous, unnecessary description here its exhausting - and I’ve slogged through Cecilia Dart-Thornton’s incorrigible listing so you know it’s bad

Elloren is just so boring at this point she’s all "I’m so weak why does no one like me" like bitch you don’t even try

Wow everything Fyon the Snake Elf says is almost word for word Snape. And here I was thinking that at least she'd done a bit of research with race names (alfsigr being one)

EVERY. FRIKKEN. TIME "I felt bad but then I remember one of the was mean to me once" jesus christ get over yourself

I got to chapter 17 p.274 before I decided enough was enough and life is too short

Never mind I just accidentally read the next page "Lukas's hot kisses" SERIOUSLY? I can't believe I just read that with my own two eyes. I’m out.

#where be lesbians #the black witch #laurie forest #ya #fantasy #review #jumping on the bandwagon #this is a bad book #but i believe in forming your own opinions #so here i am #suffering so you dont have to #netgalley

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theboykingofhell · 7 years

Note

for the writer asks: 4, 22-26!

holy SHIT i COMPLETELY forgot about those but thank you so much!!

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?

my thing is that generally i don’t start writing until 6pm for warm-up/roleplay stuff and until 1am for book stuff. sometimes i dabble a lil bit beforehand but it’s like a loose schedule i have to really dedicate my attention on something

i also always have tumblr open haha my process is literally: [refreshes dash][types a paragraph][refreshes dash][writes two sentences of dialogue][refreshes dash][getsREALLYINTOITANDFINISHESSCENE][refreshes dash and scrolls through as a reward]

i also just have a lot of rly specific orders of doing things when it comes to writing for my rp group like i tend to cycle through my characters in a certain order because that keeps me focused and organized and the more organized i am the more productive i can actually be with my work ehe

22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?

when it comes to books UMMM two... i spend a lot of time on the first draft so i can’t imagine even needing or wanting a second, really. the second draft is more to edit evreything and refine things but, again, since i (unfortunately) do that a lot during the first draft, it’s not much! but that’s what makes it so fun hehe

my scripts tho, ah.. i have one finished and the other nearly finished so, judging on the process it took to do those, generally at least three. and that’s because the first draft is literally me just vomiting out dialogue without any sort of prose, no narration, little to no stage directions, nothing. the second draft is when i make it all fancy, and any other drafts after are just part of that process in making it fancy

(like the completely finished script had 4 drafts and the third and fourth draft only differ because one is written in a more, uh... tumblr? way? and the other is in a more ‘proper’ script format)

23. Single or multi POV, and why?

depends on the story! out of my three main books rn i have two that are single and one that is multi and that’s all based on the cast of characters. the multi one has about 5 characters that i rly wanna focus on (maybe more!) while the single ones have two protags and one’s point of view is dedicated to describing the second. they’re both equally fun for me... (multi is RLY exciting tho)

24. Poetry or prose, and why?

proseproseproseproseprose.

i mean, i get told a lot that my prose is VERY poetic and that’s nice so there’s that. um i can’t get into poetry, i feel like there’s this structure behind poetry that is ENTIRELY imagined, like, i dont think it applies to anybody else but me, but i can’t make myself fit into whatever box i assume you need to make to make a poem a POEM so it’s not a comfy fit for me. the closest thing to poetry i write is just lil snippets for my suggestion blogs and even then that’s literally me taking one line or a few lines of my prose and handing it out

25. Linear or non-linear, and why?

I LOVE NON-LINEAR... it is very VERY hard for me to make a story that doesn’t, at some point, devolve into some sort of non-linear fashion because... it’s more fun... i rly like that quote about emotional logic i saw before. to me, there’s a very specific journey i want the character and the reader to go on and sometimes you can’t get there by going from beginning to end

i think it also just reflects the psych far more than a linear story does. human beings are CONSTANTLY ruminating over the past, learning from their mistakes, recovering from what’s happened to them... a lot of my stories are very heavily based on what trauma has happened to so-and-so character and how they cope with it so to me it’s necessary to literally go back and show what happened, because, to the character, it’s still happening and they’re still processing it and you don’t get that effect if i just start from the bad thing and go on. i think it’s far more immersive if the character exists as they are, acts as they would, and suddenly you’re brought back to know why, and by the time you’re in the present again, you understand about the character, and the character (the way i do it) has finally passed a hurdle that will put them ahead, and bring the reader with them into the future...!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaa i love writing

26. Standalone or series, and why?

STANDALONE... i love that fuzzy-headed feeling when you finish one (1) good book and you put it down and it’s final. DONE. not to say that a series doesn’t have that same effect (um my poor ruined ass after reading the series i’ve read this past year) but i just love the idea of having something so compact and so precise and so confined in its one lil area of existing.

it’s also just... that a series requires a LOT of content!!!! i don’t like writing fluff haha i struggle with it a lot, i am VERY to the point so sometimes i just don’t even have enough material to make it to a series.

actually, a lot of it is because my characters are VERY focused on what’s happening to them, like. i tend to write emotional-driven stories, so maybe??? four MAJOR things happen, that’s four chapters, but then each chapter has like ten of the emotional fall out, the relationships and the way they break or form, the reactions to everything that’s happening. my one series has plot point after plot point happening but i still GOTTA write that reaction so... that’d either make for a VERY long book or i had to make it a series lol

also i just. this is more for me with movies but i don’t like sequels lol i have one story to tell and once that story is told it’s done. sometimes i entertain the thought of having a sequel to tsg but. i cant imagine ever writing it. my characters start at point A, they end at point B, there will never ever be a point C that will be as important for them to start another journey because that was IT. IT’S DONE.

I REFUSE TO SCROLL UP TO READ MORE SORRY FOR THE TEXT WALL BUT THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTIONS

#THEY WERE ALL REALLY GOOD ONES askjfdnglkfdgfdgs #writingggg...#w #ghostzzy #ask tag

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jessthequeenofstories · 7 years

Text

😶

I’m still awake at 6am

My friend is in my bed

I’m lying with my head at the foot and my feet on a chair

Casual

I’m used to being weird

🙃

She keeps half-waking up and poking me with her feet

And I keep scaring her when I move away

But she’s still half asleep so makes a scared noise but forgets about it two seconds later

This is actually hilarious

I’m actually trying not to fucking laugh right now

So I’m just staying up on Tumblr to pass the time

Cause I’m insomniactic anyway

Is that even a word

Will I ever use grammar

I used apostrophes so yeah maybe

That last sentence should have had at least three commas in it

Fuck grammar

Up da arse

And apparently fuck spelling as well

Oh I already established that with the made-up word

Ow she just kicked me

😂

Wanna get up and eat some cake but she’ll think I’m a ghost or something and probably attack me with a cucumber or something

Don’t ask why I have a cucumber in my room

You should be more worried why I want cake while my friend is sleeping next to me

You dirty bastards

So this will be a fun post for her to read when she wakes up

Or fun pussy as my autocorrect just wrote

Ow stop kicking me

Your toe nails are sharp af

I have no nails so

So what

Where was I going with that argument

Not this doesn’t make sense without grammar

Why aren’t I using grammar again

Maybe it’s a rebellion against society

Maybe I’ll start a revolution against the English and their fucked up language with it’s fucked up rules

I’m Welsh after all

So no more grammar

Instead the word baa will be used instead of a full-stop baa

And the name Tom Jones will be used instead of question marks if that’s alright with you Tom Jones

And popty ping will be used popty ping to keep up with the pattern going on here popty ping instead of commas baa

Make sense Tom Jones

Good baa

I’m probably gonna wake her up soon if I don’t stop laughing baa

She told me she’d probably be awake by seven baa

It’s almost half six now baa

I’m waiting baa

Is this grammar getting annoying Tom Jones

It’s dyslexic af popty ping as most of you already know popty ping so it is getting quite annoying for me as well baa

It’s hard to remember where everything goes baa

A bit like having sex really baa

Baa really should not be in the same sentence as sex really

Now that sentence doesn’t make sense if you’re still reading it as a full stop

Period really should not be in the same sentence as sex really

Well that’s a bit true also

Ewww

Unless you’re lesbian vampires then I guess live and let live

If that’s you’re thing I ain’t knocking it

I am legit on the edge of my bed

Fucking toe nails of death edging closer

I feel like I’m in an Indiana Jones film

Or James Bond

Edging closer to the edge of a cliff while spikes urge me backwards

A bit like Elsa and those guards in her ice castle

Well one was being pushed while the other was being impaled

Oh look I’ve been impaled

Oh bother

If you’re wondering why apostrophes never got a Welsh update it’s because I’m not that dyslexic

I know how to use grammar

I’m just being ironic

But I’d look like an idiot to not use apostrophes

So yeah

Point proven

Ironic peace sign

☮

No not that peace sign

✌

Yes that peace sign

Wow I need cake

🍰

More cake

🎂

Wait, real cake tho

I can’t eat pixles

I’m not PAC Man

Mostly cause I’m not a man

What is a PAC anyway?

It sounds very racist

Well whatever it is I’m not it

Unless it means dyslexic then yes

I am a PAC

Or Welsh

Then I am a PAC

Or awake at half six in the fucking morning

Then yes

I am

Indeed

A PAC

Man

Minus the man

Omg she curled her legs up

I’m away from the feet

I feel so freed

It feels like the liberation of France

I have so much space

I might even have enough room to turn over to the other side

😮

My god this is a joyous day

This shall go down in the history books

The day I was freed from the torture of toe nails

😄

And nope she just stretched her legs out again

Now I’m gonna have to cancel that party

Sorry no cake for you

Sorry Chuckles maybe you can come for Halloween instead

Just gonna stick a pin in all these balloons

Watch them all pop

Like my personal space bubble

Pop

It is done

There is nothing less

Oh sweet heavenly slumber why hath art forsaken me

Dramatic faint

Oh wait if I’m fainted than does that mean I’m not asleep

Maybe

But how am I typing

Can people sleep-text

I mean people drunk-text all the time and they manage that quite successfully

My mum used to say I sleep-sing

Is that true

Do I really sleep-sing

Of course fucking not I don’t fucking sleep

Or use grammar

Or do anything normally

I have legit spent half an hour of my life writing this post non-stop

And for what reason

Was it to tire me out

Was it to cure my boredom

Was it to make my friend laugh when she wakes up

No it wasn’t

I did this all for cake

Sweet sweet cake

And I would do anything for cake

I’d run right into hell and back

I would do anything for cake

Ect ect

I forgot the rest of the song

Meatloaf mf

I’m so fucking bored

Maybe I should write my own song

Or maybe I should sleep

Song it is then

So what should the song be about

Defo not a love song

Unless it’s about my love for cake

Then it that case it should be about a love triangle between me cake and pie

Why pie

Because she’s my cherry pie

And fuck all that rest of the song idkfml

I love how my autocorrect didn’t even bother to suggest a word for that

😂

So maybe the song should be about

Hold you horses she just actually for real tucked her legs up

Halaluhja

Praise the gods above

Or below

Or in the middle

Where you chillin at Gabriel

But omg I’m so fucking happy

I’m alive

I’m insomniactic but alive

I just wanna get up and great the world with a happy smile

Hello sunshine

Goodbye sunshine cause let’s be real this is Britain

Hello rain-clouds

Hello puddles

Hello awkward snail that tries to hug the pavement when I try and move you out from the middle of the pavement

Hello shops that are closed on a Sunday because fuck the milk I need for my morning cup of tea

Did I say morning

Sorry I meant 5 in the afternoon when I finally get the energy to role or of bed

It’s winter of course the sun has fucked of by 5pm

Sorry lad a babe in Australia wants me to kiss her whole body

😚

Does anyone what call freckles sun-kisses

Don’t worry I don’t call them that

My mum calls them that though

She used to tells us that so we wouldn’t feel bad about having them

Mum’s covered in them

Either she’s trying to spread possitivity about freckles or she’s having an affair with the sun

I mean it’s pretty hot

Who wouldn’t bang that

And probably most of the population of the earth

Don’t worry mum you’ve got it all to yourself

But when you’re complaining about how you’re heart burns in desire

Just realise it is actually burning

Yup it actually burns

Burn

Oh my god I’m so bored

I just realised this whole post is like an hour in the life of the brain of Jesse Hester

Wtf

What a title

Screw whatever title I gave this post

That is the official title now

It’s only been there-quarters-of-an-hour

Fuck

You’re only three-quarters the way through this post

Ha ha

Bored yet

Cause I sure am

I want cake

I want tea

I want dick

-s like Mr Fedora Guy to fuck off

Ow stop kicking me baa

I’ve decided to start implementing the Welsh grammar again baa

It was creative and fun baa

What popty ping don’t you like it Tom Jones

What’s not to like about it Tom Jones

I thought you loved reading everything in Welsh baa

I’ll try writing in real Welsh then

Helo

I love how the Autocorrect changed it to help

Literally what I’m thinking right now

Helo

Dwi'n Jesse ydw i

Stop trying to capitalise i

It’s a word not the English word

Why do we capitalise I by itself but not the letter A by itself

And why did my Autocorrect decide to keep that I upcapitalised

Questions

I have ten minutes to talk

Fuck I’m slowing down

Never

Capitalise the word never

Because I haven’t actually fully capitalised any words yet

What the fuck is this post

I don’t even fucking know anymore

This was supposed to be just a fun little thing to keep me occupied

But now

Now this is a legend

A legacy

I have seven minutes to keep this up

Even if I feel sleep I can’t give this up

I can’t give up the randomness

I can’t give up the bad grammar

And I will not

For the love of God

Give up the

God

Damn

Cake

Capitalise the word Cake for drama

I love how my autocorrect make cake a person

Cake

Like it’s a name or something

Well Cake is my cakefriend now

We’re official

Don’t worry The Wife™ we’re still legally married

Holy fuck five minutes guys

I honestly don’t know how to end this post

I feel like it should just go out on a bang

But I don’t want to spoil the structure by suddenly adding a gif is something

What can I say

What can I do

Omg so many choices

But non is good enough

God I feel like I’m choosing universities all over again

What am I talking about I only ever wanted to go to this uni

Fuck the others

Three minutes

Holy fuck

Holy mother of fucking

Mothers fuck

Sad but true truth

I don’t want to think about that

I legit shipped my mum with the sun about twenty minutes ago

Two minutes

Shit shit shit

What do to

What do fucking do

Oh don’t you dare kick me

No way

Ugh

What is my life

One minute

Omg

Omgggggggggg

Add as many adjectives beginning with G to that acronym

Jess I love you bae

😘

Love you forever!!! ❤

SEVEN MOTHER FUCKING O'CLOCK

#🙃#shenaniganswithjess #wtf is this #omg #dead

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