#i dont want to die but i want my brain to shut up

[kaladinkholins]

mizutaigen is literally like. the first "toxic" m/f ship i've ever cared for. cuz like usually my taste in m/f ships is basically "unhinged baddie" x "badass wifeguy" *

* (see:yen/geralt. trevor/sypha. adolin/shallan. kataang but katara is sane and they're literally so wholesome like theyre traumatised kids in love who are each other's emblem of hope in a war-torn world! so basically they don't count. anyway. i'm rambling.)

and to that end my friend called mizutaigen yaoi-adjacent and im like. yeah you're right actually cuz like hell yeah non-binary mizu and bisexual taigen rights and all the gender fuckery in the show in general

but also like.

theres just SOMETHING else about mizutaigen that just GETS me. like there's a special secret sauce like the pheromones in that one sephora lotion attracting spiders and i am the silly spider!!! there's just something about it!!! it's not even the enemies to lovers trope cuz i personally am not even usually into that (obv it's fine if you are. but yk.)

so as i keep rotating these thoughts around i thiiink it's the fact that, yknow, theyre so similar. like i honestly truly think they could be besties in another universe: a kinder universe where taigen was not taught to hate. a universe where mizu was not born a girl in a deeply misogynistic society or half-white in a xenophobic homogeneous society.

yeah now that i think about it that really just might be THE secret sauce!!! like the fact that they COULD be perfect and happy together, if only things were different, if only they werent themselves.

smth v bittersweet about that's just driving me insane and makes me want to root for them to overcome all those obstacles, to say "fuck all that" (re:the world and all its fucked up shit) and find each other in the end. to eventually become each other's fav person and confidant. who obv still bicker and tease and insult each other all the time but they dont really mean any of it and over time it just becomes a running gag between them and no one else has to get it because it's just between the two of them.

#mizu x taigen #taigen x mizu #taimizu #[clenches fist] it's about the POTENTIAL of it all!!!!! #like taigen's last words in s1 being 'we're not done yet' like ?!? has me WANTING to see more. wanting to see them grow with each other #like i want taigen by the end to be ridiculously head over heels WHIPPED and SMITTEN willing to die and kill and just be BETTER. for mizu. #mizu. the person who changed his entire life. his entire worldview. pulled the rug from under him and made him a man forever changed. #to overcome his selfishness so he can be mizu's HOME in a world that doesn't allow her one #i want him to end up deciding like. 'on purpose. im going to love you on purpose.' #and mizu no matter how much she tries to convince herself that she cannot love or be loved. ends up accepting it anyway #love as work and violence but also love as rest and safety #and also bcs taigen represents the ideals of society. him willing to change & grow also represents society's potential to change & progress #LMAO okay sorry i absolutely cannot stop rambling about these bitches the brainworms are insane #bcs i just noticed that other mizutaigen enjoyers tend to also be in the same fandom circles for ships that i just. do not like. at all #and wondered like huh. i wonder why that is. and wondering what makes mizutaigen different #idk just ignore me i dont even know if im making sense my brain is goop from working on my research proposal #shut up haydar #fandom.rtf

[nbmudkip]

im CRAAAAZZZYYYY im FUCKING INSANE!!!!!! i’m a cycle path….. HHHHHHHFDRRRRRRRHHHHHGHHHH

#me.txt #IM SO FUCKED RN #IM IN THAT HORRIBLE STAGE OF A NEW HYPERFIXATION FORMING WHERE ITS ALL I CAN THINK AND ALL I CAN TALK ABOUT AND ALL I CAN SEE #which happens to be the VERY ANNOYING STAGE in which i am VERY ANNOYING towards EVERYONE AROUND ME because i wont SHUT UP!!!!!! #talking about anything that isnt isat for more than 30 seconds without bringing it up somehow is like PULLING TEETH to me right now #and my friends are already starting to get sick of and weirded out by it #and i dont want to keep randomly bringing it yp and being annoying but I CANT NOT DO THAT!!! #IT FEELS LIKE MY SYOMACH IS FULL OF BEES WHEN I TRY!!!! MORESO THAN USUAL!!!!!!!! #and its not like i can go on a reblog spree or talk to anyone else about it #BECAUSE IM NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH THE GAME!!!! #AND IM ALREADY THIS SICK IN THE HEAD!!!!! BUT I CANNOT LET MYSELF GET SPOILED!!!!!!!! #CANT keep talking about it to friends CANT go online for an outlet IM GOING TO DIE #I HAVE NO WAY TO SCRATCH THE ITCH IN MY BRAIN AT ALL AND IT KEEPS BUILDING!!!!!!!!!! #AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHRRRRAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #okay. im fine now. im normal. i can survive without bringing it up. i can do it. im brave #<- guy who is not normal and will not survive and is kinning siffrin so hard they feel sick

[quirinah]

SLAY THE PRINCESS (chewing on drywall)

#oh my god the way this game has been festering in my brain since i watched rts playthrough of it ITS SO OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I LOVE COSMIC HORROR AND SELF AWARE TIMELOOPS AND THE ENDLESS FUTALITY OF THE NARRATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I LOVE BIRD MEN AND GIANT MONSTER WOMEN AND NARRATORS WITH PERSONALITY!!! #sorry im normal. #quirinahscreams #no but i also love the voices of the main character and how the choices you make determine which one of them shows up (saying nonsense) BUT #ALSO HOW THEY EACH HAVE THEIR OWN SKILLS? IF THAT MAKES SENSE #like the stubborn and the hunted's affinity for combat/survival in the beast route or paranoids autonomic nervous system thing #she heart on my lungs till i liver nerves #I WISH IC OULD SAY MORE BUT SPOILERS BUT ALSO RAGHHH. they werent lying it really is a love story (gripping table so tightly it splinters) #THE WAY THE FIRST CABIN RUNTHRU IS LIKE UR DEFAULT SLATE AND THEN THE CHOICES YOU MAKE SLASH HOW YOU PERCEIVE THE PRINCESS IN THAT ROUTE #AFFECT WHAT SHE APPEARS AS TO YOU LATER #EVEN DOWN TO TAKING THE KNIFE #how shes docile and initially innocent if you dont take it but calculating and dangerous if you do #or depending on how you die she reappears as vengeful or simply cruel or resigned etc and then different voices show up to compliment that #i always feel so lame giving faceless characters visual appearances though its part of the mystique intrigue or whatever #but my boring hc for the mc is that hes like a harpy. a la howl movingcastle type beat but i also love birdman mc #its just that i wasnt paying attention earlier and imagined him as like a generic fairytale prince/knight and then realized oh he has TALON #I NEED TO SHUT UP OH MY GOD BUT ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO DRAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cryptidyork]

.

#shut up spencer #today is just #not a good day #mental illness makes literally just fucking existing a constant exhausting fight #nothing whatsoever has happened #but i cant stop thinking about badly i just dont want to fucking be here #and i want to relapse so fucking bad #im like 3 months clean from self harm #and i am so ready to throw that away for no reason #just my own fucking brain reminding me constantly that im worthless and deserve it #i genuinely want to just fucking die

[reaperkiller]

genuinely do not know how i used to live like this every day everything is giving me anxiety and i feel like im going to cry whJHKGKHFG

#NOTHING IS EVEN HAPPENING. MY BRAIN IS JUST. GOING OVER EVERY WORST THING EVER THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN #LIKE. I DONT NEED THIS I JUST WANT TO ENJOY MY TIME GAMIINNGGHWJHKGDHFJ #but my brain is like hey remember when you did xyz thing once well everyone hates you now and you should die actually #like. ok. why. leave me ALONE #it's even more horrible bc i dont want to bother anyone with the fact that in being insane bc my brain is like #YOURE ALREADY ANNOYING THEM ENOUGH!!!!!!! SHUT UP #SO IM JUST. SITTING HERE WHKDGJSG NOTHING IS HELPING.

[definitelynotwinter]

When is life supposed to get better again? When does it get easy? When will I wake up without everything worrying me...and when will I snap back into reality and feel light again. Without any fear, with the ability to know I'm secure and loved. To have my health no longer be failing me and to not care what others think.

Idk I'm just a miserable bitch and life will always be as horrible as it ever has been,

But God am I trying so hard for it to not be

I just wish I had a break so I can be...light. just for once.

#summer shut up #if it werent for my son life is just a neverending nightmare and im so surprised i havent killed myself yet #when will i be loved? so truly and purely. i want something soft and sweet with butterflies #the kind of love that makes you blush by yourself. the kind of love where you look at the person and want to shut down because everything #everything hits you. i want something so soft sweet and pure. someone to open doors for me. write me poetry. take pictures when i dont ask #i want to be able to talk about anything without fear i want it to be mutual just so head over heels for one another #i just want the pinnacle of romance and love it makes me want to throw up and then i want that to be the model for how my son treats his #his future partners. makes me want to throw up that i have to go through it all essentially alone #i just want to be understood and not pacified by my partners too god thats just romance #i want my health to get better im tired of being sick im tired of dying im TIRED. #like get this tumor out of my fuckin head already yeah i renoved 2 already but the one underneath my brain is cramping my fucking style #i feel like im going to die soon and i dream about it so vividly and its just so bitter sweet #anyways i dont have anywhere else to vent and im crying myself to sleep bc im overwhelmed with how bad life truly is #just when will it get easier? i just want to run away from all of it. my health #i need a job im supporting an almost 1 yr old by myself im not doing okay #when does it get easier!!!!!!!i want to scream #i know im stupid just disregard this im melting down

[tv-eater]

.

#Aughhhghhhh why do I feel horrible I've had a good day but it's STILL AUGHHHHH #HITTING MY BRAIN CAN IT SHUT UP JUST AUGHHH #in a different way the fact that so much of like information is being lost is making miserable and how like there aren't enough years #For a single person to appreciate all of the art in the world and I really need to make this cohesive so I can like shut it down like #Shut theses thoughts down like it's alright information is not meant to be eternal! And like with the whole particles turn into different tl #Things maybe nothing is ever truly lost n will keep getting rediscovered endlessly #And like there's sooooo many organisations dedicated to this pursuit and doing good work #But despite all of that it makes me feel like HORRIBLE like #IDK does nothing matter???? #Like there's so much iw ant to experience and put out into the world and I dont do that #I'm wasting so much of my time why do I never draw why do I never do anything productive cause #Every second that passes its a second I don't have Like I don't I don't want to die without having done anything #BUT EVEN NOW I'M DOING NOTHING BUT LIKE I WANT TO BE REMEMBERED n maybe it'll make everything worth it #AND IT JUST FEELS LIKE IM WASTING MY TIME EVERYDAY MY PEERS R ACHIEVING SO MUCH AND I'M NOT #But it's alright it's alright I'll keep saying this until I can believe it cause it's alright it's all fine but AUHH #hi if ur reading this ig

[nbrnty-replies]

I can nawt keep doing this, I keep spiraling ToT why tf is BPD so hard

#ramble #this is nawt a cry for help #I do nawt want help I wanna die LMAOOOOO #I sound cringe but I literally can nawt keep doing this ToT #okay time 2 sleep!!! hopefully my brain will shut up when I wake up >w< wish me luck!!!! Im gonna start my needy streamer arc #and delulu myself into 2 people!!!!! #btw erm plz fr dont message me about this cuz I feel cringe LMAOOOOO

[29121996]

.

#gonna say smth slightlynfucked up but i dont care atp #i trest ppl like theyre a game piece if theyve hurt me so much like . #idk how to explain this and i wont bc it doesnt matter. but i realised tn that shile i love him #it wasnt enough for me to not treat his emotions like a game #atp he said i acted like thst and i ptobably was unintentionally unawars i was #bc lbr i do Know how to do it and i will do it on will when ive been deeply wounded n i wanna fuck w the other person a little #so i probably do unintentionally do it when i am Just Uoset yknow #but yes anyway i done burned this bridge Permenently for the foreseeable future bc i could not shut my mouth or let my rgo slide #i literally could feel my brain switching frim Rationally Calm to “fuck this lets burn it” it was So Funny #i will feel abt how i treated him. i know i will bc the last things i said were fucming Harsh. but atp i just wanted to hurt him :/ #i am a deeply flawd andnfucked yp pwrson its so upswtting this is so Hard #im fucking Doing it and im going to Get Better but its such . a long process. ive been at this for 2yrs and i dont feelcany different #like for the most psrt im the exaft same take away my approach and slight change in communication form #likw ik i cant . cimpare bc disorders are different bur my anxiety got better in 2yrs #like there was a drastic change - same w my ed. #so why the FUCK is bpd so mhch harder. #why is fundamentally cha ging my brain wiring so fucking hard #i will fucking . die

[milo-is-rambling]

Had a nightmare last night that many different large scary animals were trying to break into the house I lived in in New Hampshire and I kept running around and locking doors and screaming and crying and begging for my family to help me and they were just sitting and laughing or sleeping or living their lives and I was watching huge black bears pound on glass sliding doors and fog them up with their breath as they drool over the idea of demolishing my family and there were like big mountain lions finding small holes to crawl through trying to get in and I’m sobbing and bleeding and kicking them and trying to get my family to do something and they don’t even notice and act like I’m crazy

#hahahaha that’s totally unrelated to me having a panic attack and calling out of work only for my mother to tell me that she’s disappointed #in me and I should’ve just sucked it up and gone to work #my life is honestly me vs my mental health vs my mother #like if she could just. no. I’m the one with the problem. I stopped taking my meds. that’s on me. she shouldn’t get mad at me for the way I #deal with my own brain especially cause the first half of June went so well for me. but whatever. she’s allowed to be upset when her child #isn’t taking care of themselves. that’s fair. however. FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF #I DONT WANT NIGHTMARES WHERE IM DYING AND THEN I WAKE UP AND STILL FEEL LIKE IM ABOUT TO DIE #LIKE GIRL BE THE LITTLEST BIT SUPPORTIVE OF ME INSTEAD OF SAYING YOURE MAD AT ME BC I HAD A PANIC ATTACK SO BAD I COULDNT HANDLE A FIVE HOUR #SHIFT AT WORK LIKE JUST TELL ME IVE COME SO FAR FROM WHERE I WAS LAST YEAR (bad panic attacks every day) AND THAT I JUST NEED TO BREATHE AND #ILL GET THROUGH IT AND ITLL BE OKAY AND YOU CAN GO TO WORK AND EXPLAIN NEXT SHIFT AND APOLOGIZE AND ITLL BE FINE #INSTEAD OF SAYING TO YOUR KID ‘are you TRYING to get fired so you don’t have to go to work anymore?’ WHILE IM SOBBING WITH MY HEAD IN A #TRASHCAN DRY HEAVING LIKE YEAH MOM THATS JUST WHAT I WANT TO HEAR YOU THINK IM NOT FREAKING OUT ENOUGH ON MY OWN WHAT DO YOU THINK SENT ME #INTO THIS PANIC ATTACK LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP #sorry. having a moment. #I just keep getting really vivid flashbacks to my dream and it’s like I was trying to protect my dad bc in my dream he was still alive and #then I woke up and felt so powerless to everything and remembered my mom still being mad at me which I’m sure is going to continue and I’ll #be guilt tripped for the rest of the weekend at least #and she’s going to be on my ass about going back to therapy when therapy has nothing to do with this #rage rage rage rage fear fear fear fear fear that’s all I seem to know anymore

[kindnessoverperfection]

.

#not to bare my soul in the tags of an empty post on my mental illness sideblog or anything but #im probably refusing closeness w ppl bc im shielding an underlying issue of poor boundaries #closeness and emotional reliance feel like weakness to me #i reject the idea that im even capable of feeling that way #i get hella annoyed at sad whiny breakup songs that come up in my playlist #it always feels the equivalent of like. ''boo hoo i cant find my red pen it's gone forever'' like okay sorry bro i guess? can not relate. #dont bring that shit into my livingroom. #but when i seriously think about the concept of ''letting someone in'' and feeling close with them i just get so uncomfortable and avoidant #and shut down the possibility and then am like ''why cant i heal my DA attachment style ive tried everything ;'('' #it feels like if i let someone in they're just going to up and die and it'll rip my heart out #it's why i get mad when people vent or spiral or do self-destructive things #like i hide my anger but internally i just get so pissy #it's because im scared of them being unhappy because a) i dont want them to fucking die b) i dont want their mood to negatively impact mine #and c) i dont want them to suffer #so my fuckin fight response brain kicks in #which i feel bad about and i hide it but #hh.

[sh1-n0bu]

𝔫𝔬𝔟𝔲’𝔰 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔨𝔱𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔣 2023!

day 22: double dom with dan heng from hsr

warnings: two readers, cock/strap/shaft/length traditions, praise, degrading, double penetration, overstimulation, dacryphilia, creampie, squirting, oral, slapping, slight feminization, slight breeding, love confessions even though reader and dan heng are in relationship, shit gets messy

notes: if yall didnt like normal dan heng, yall dont deserve lunae. i die by this statement

“what a whore. look at him, squealing like he wants more”

“won’t you shut the fuck up? and don’t call dan heng ‘whore’ again unless you want to have your jaw broken”

all dan heng could do was let out a high pitched embarrassed squeal again as he comes on your hand again. his face was flushed red, all the way to his shoulders. bare skin covered in sweat, tears and drool as he tries to make sense of who it was that was fucking his hole open now.

it was weird to wake up to the noise of commotion. especially if the commotion was caused by two you. at first dan heng thought he was having some super weird dream. he tried slapping himself, pinching himself and even thought if his food or drink was spiked with something weird.

but no. none of it was sadly true and the situation he woke up to was very much real. there, standing over the side of the bed were two [name]s. exact carbon copies of one another except one was cussing the other out more while the other was calm and collected. but the calm one was losing their shit more and more as the other [name] spits curses at them.

somehow, it ends up in this little competition between the two [name]s to see which one can fuck him better.

one was gentle with him. coaxing him gently, peppering kisses on his neck and whispering soothing words in his ear. praising him for how pretty he looks, how he was so beautiful and ethereal, how he was doing such a good job as dan heng gags and chokes around your cock. saliva slipping from the side of his mouth, slipping down his chin as his whines get muffled with your length down his throat, causing slight bulge in them.

the other was mean. degrading him, calling him a filthy whore for letting himself get used by two [name]s. a fucking slut for willingly opening his legs wide and allowing his cute puckering hole to get fucked over and over. their strap pushing their own cum deeper inside him, pushing him into impossible, near painful positions as dan heng cries fat globs of tears. he never knew that his lover could be mean. even more, he didn’t knew that he would be so damn turned on by the mean slaps to his inner thigh, making him squeal and clench around the mean one like a harlot.

dan heng didn’t knew which one to focus on. all he could do was lay there on the bed. spread out with his inner thighs and ass red from the mean one’s slaps. his own cum painting his stomach as he sobs in a twisted sense of pain and pleasure. he felt so full, he was so sure that he was going to bend the biology of a vidyadhara and get pregnant.

by the mean [name] or by the gentle [name], he didn’t knew. he couldn’t even tell if the one who was keeping his legs open as he trashes and whimpers of feeling so full is his own [name] of this reality.

“you’re doing it wrong. fuck him hard like you mean it, dumb fuck. look at him. he’s getting my hard work all over the place!”

a voice hisses, angry and annoyed by the sound of it. a hand comes to knead his sore ass, making dan heng let out a choked whimper and cling to the other one tighter. ah, the one whose cock was inside him right now was the gentle one.

“guunck—! puh-please… can’t… i can’t take more… please please pleaseplease—! [n-name], you’re gonna break me… aaanh♡︎!!” dan heng lets out a loud moan. shrill and drawn out like a girl’s as his thighs shake from where they’re wrapped around your waist.

clinging to the gentle one was his only source of comfort and grounding. if not, dan heng was sure that his mind will break and his brain would get fried from the overwhelming amount of pleasure and pain.

“shut up, slut. you’re going to have to take everything if you want to decide who’s the winner here” the angry one grunts, kneading his already red and sore ass before slapping him again. dan heng twitches, bucking his hips as he tries to escape the mean one’s hold on him only to grind your cock against his prostate. he was shooting blanks from just that. body too overstimulated to keep going. but he wanted to. the sick perverted part of his mind wanted to feel the pain.

spreading his asscheeks apart with both hands, the poser takes a moment. eerily silent and calm faced as they watch the both of your mixed cum slowly ooze out of his loose hole, dripping down onto the mattress below. it created more wet stain in the already messed up mattress. but it also gave the poser an idea.

all the while you whispered of love and gentle reassurances into the ruined man’s ear, the other you shuffle closer until their chest was flush against dan heng’s back. the faraway look in his teary eyes, the old tearstains and the drool covering his chin was more than enough proof that dan heng was far gone. mind filled with statics as he can only take and take and take whatever’s given to him.

“hey, shift him a bit and pull out until your tip, will you?” the other you says, tapping your hips. for a moment, you just wanted to tell your doppelgänger to fuck off and go back to their own reality. but the excited look in their eyes got you sighing as you fulfill what they asked.

pulling out until only your tip is inside his gaping hole, you whisper more sweet nothings to dan heng when he whimpers at the feeling. he was already so spent. he possibly can’t handle what your other half was planning. but you were possessive and that trait mixed with a feeling of wanting to prove that you’re worth dan heng made you simply shut up.

fingering the dripping cum back inside his twitching warm walls, your doppelgänger hooks a finger at his loose hole. slowly spreading him out more and more, little by little, you were too slow to realize until dan heng was trashing about, sobbing and crying about how he was going to break until his jaws go slack in a silent scream. his spent cock squirting over his tummy again.

“t-too much… break… ‘m gonna breakkk aanh aahg ghiick♡︎ gyaack! c-cocks mmmgh uungh—! too much♡︎♡︎!”

the reserved and deadly guard of the astral express, shaking his head as he cries, creating new tear stain marks as he drools all over himself. great amount of his own cum staining his stomach, hair stuck to his forehead as he sweats all over. each time his mouth opens, it’s to let out shrill, girlish moans and squeals. the sound lewd and downright pornographic as it draws out, followed by the sound of two cocks sinking deeper into his tight and eager hole inch by inch.

“fuck—! mmgh so fucking tight, i can’t even move my hips. see that? that’s my cute little breeding bitch. cunt all tight and eager as always” your doppelgänger chuckles, hands coming up to twist and pull at his sensitive, swollen nipples. dan heng shakes his head furiously, denying the poser’s words with all his heart.

it was when your poser placed a kiss on his neck, ready to bite him and mark his skin did he let out a noise of denial. placing his trembling hand over their face, he shoves them away with what little strength did he had left. clinging to your form tightly with his chest flush against yours, you were glad that it was dan heng who protested. because if he hadn’t you would have broken more than just a few bones.

“uhnn!! not [name]! n-not my [name]!” dan heng whines, clinging to you with a vice grip. the thought of being marked by someone else — even if said someone else was technically [name] from another reality — dan heng hated it. he hated the idea of carrying someone else’s love bite on him, if not his own [name].

“not my [name]… i love you… i love you, [name]! mine, only mine! only m-my [name] gets to fuck a baby in me—♡︎!” before you could even make sense of his slurred blabbering words, dan heng passes out. face serene, forehead resting on your shoulder as he continues to grip onto you even in his unconscious state.

ah, the feeling of being in love and loving in return. but that aside, it’s time to punch this annoying doppelgänger of yours before taking care of your unconscious darling—

#nobu.writes #sub hsr #sub honkai star rail #sub!honkai star rail #sub!hsr #sub dan heng #sub!dan heng #sub character #sub!character #x dom reader #dom gn reader #dom reader #dom!reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail smut #hsr x reader #hsr x reader smut #hsr smut #dan heng x reader #dan heng smut #nobu’s kinktober 2023

[w0rmm1lk]

Hi again!!! Could you do a M!reader x bakugou Where does Bakugou find out he's gay? he never worried about sexualities, and after meeting the reader he discovered that he liked guys and started ignoring him for fear of being rejected 😭 but then at the end the reader admits that he is pansexual and is in love with Bakugou and has a fluff ending!!!

les gooooo im so happy im getting so many requests tbh--

characters: Bakugo

reader: Male

summary: every since Y/n walked into that class bakugo immediately knew he hated(fell in love with) him.

warnings: coming out, swearing, hinted shinkami

other details: bakugo being in denial about being in the closet, Pan!reader, fluff, confession.

les gooo

(hope you dont mind the headcannon format! trying to get through my requests and headcannons make it easier :') )

-this man fell head over heels for you the second you stepped in the door. you could feel his face heating up just at the sight.

-of course, like any other person bakugos first thought was, "Oh I probably fucking hate this guy if I'm reacting like this right?"

-no.

-you both got to know each other better due to being paired up in training a lot.

-bakugo was honestly annoyed with himself to learn he didn't hate you, he wanted to be "friends"

-yep.

-he swears just friends.

-you two hung out a lot, mostly with the others.

-others being; Kirishima, denki, sero, and Mina, yknow the group.

-the topic of Bakugo possibly having a crush didn't pop up until a bit after school one day. Bakugo was forcibly dragged along with the rest of the group to go to a restaurant together.

-kaminari was ranting about some purple-haired mind controller he was crushing on.

-bakugo didn't think much of it until Mina pointed out one thing.

-"You know, the way you talk about shinsou and what you guys do together sounds awfully a lot like Bakugo and Y/N..."

-"Wait! You're totally right! bakugo do you like him?!"

-"he totally likes him!"

-they were both met with a small explosion of anger and almost real explosions to the face.

-"im not gay!"

-everyone just kinda stared at him in disbelief for a second.

-finally, sero actually spoke up to break the silence.

-"Wait... youre not...?"

-ultiple explosions were fired causing the group to get kicked from the store.

-once they got back to the dorms bakugo immediately shut himself into his room.

-he was intending to actually sleep but his mind was clouded purely with thoughts of You..

-he actually began questioning himself.

-the next day bakugo couldn't keep his brain from focusing on you.

-he noticed every time you spoke, sighed, yawned, walked, breathed, he was way too focused.

-he tried to keep his mind off of you.

-it was all fine until kirishima was trying to talk to him.

-'bakugo you're listening right?"

-"..."

-"bakugo?"

-"..."

-"hey man--- you good-?"

-it took a few moments before kirishima looked to see what bakugo was so focused on.

-Y/N.

-he was staring you down.

-"ohhhhh, yknow, I'm starting to think Mina and kaminari were right-"

-somehow that out of everything snapped bakugo out of his thoughts.

-"I don't like him!"

-kirishima stiffled a laugh

-"Uh-huh, sureeeee you don't."

-bakugo had a weird look on his face as he turned back to look at you.

-his ears turned a bright red when you noticed him staring and smiled slightly in his direction.

-kirishima looked between you two for a moment.

-"okay kaminari and mina were definitely right."

-"For the last time shitty hair- Im not gay!'

-class a was lucky with how high quality these desks were, otherwise, bakugos would have been burnt to a crisp with that explosion that came out of his hands.

-bakugos small fit of yelling caught a lot of students' attention, usually they ignored bakugos rants but this one seemed to interest a few.

-"uh-huh."

-"I- why are you looking at me like that! go die."

-he shoved past kirishima leaving the room.

-you assumed he had left for the dorms.

-you learned just how wrong you were when you left the classroom and immediately someone grabbed your hand dragging you to a slightly secluded area behind the school.

-"...bakugo?'

-he didn't reply and shoved you against the wall. you could feel your face heat up at the position but then you realised Bakugo's expression.

-he was pissed

-like, if you don't run then just pray for your survival pissed.

-"The hell is with your quirk!? it's making me feel all weird these past few months!"

-"Bakugo the hell are you talking about--"

-"Your quirk dumbass! it-- it's making me feel all these weird emotions whenever I look at you- i- it makes me feel warm in shit! like- like I actually like you! So tell me! What the hell is your quirk!?"

-you didn't know whether to laugh or confess at this point.

-"Bakugo- my quirk is (quirk), which is very much not related to what you're feeling--"

-you could see bakugos whole face flush red.

-yet for once he didnt look mad, he looked almost embarrassed.

-his mind was racing with thoughts realizing; "oh shit I'm actually gay."

-there was a very long awkward pause. you could see Bakugo's thoughts racing purely in his expression.

-after almost a minute he finally spoke up.

-"Then.. go out with me dumbass."

-What he said caught you by surprise, your face heating up at these words.

-"Wait what--

-"I said go out with me! Are you deaf or just not interested!?"

-"I mean I am interested... just- a little surprised that's all."

-he pulled away so you weren't shoved against the wall anymore.

-"It's late as hell- let's get back to the dorms."

-"Ah! right-"

-"Of course someone like you is gay."

-"I'm pan.. but- close enough I guess."

-"What the hell does that mean?!"

-not only did you learn about Bakugo's feelings towards you. you also learned he had no clue about the large list of sexualities outside of gay and straight.

ngl struggles once again, mainly with the confession part

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha x male reader #mha x male reader #x male reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugo x male reader #bakugo x reader #x reader

[aajjks]

Monster. (m)

synopsis. You’ll never love him, no matter what.

warnings. YANDERE, ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR, CHOKING, LOTS OF CURSING, DEGRADATION, slut shaming, psychotic behaviour, delusional behaviour, unhealthy behaviour, mentions of killing.

disclaimer. PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT ROMANTICISE THIS FUCKED UP BEHAVIOUR, this is extremely toxic and not at all romantic. This is purely fictional and it does not represent bts’ jungkook at all.

viewer discretion is HEAVILY ADVISED AS THIS FIC CONTAINS DARK CONTENT THAT CAN BE TRIGGERING.

“Fucking whore!”

His eyes are wild, the vein in his neck popping out as he slams you into the alley wall, the darkness fails to hide his eyes that are burning holes into your soul.

“SLUT.” His hands reach your neck and he grabs at it tightly, you cannot stop crying. His grip hurts, it’s a struggle for you to breathe.

But the monster doesn’t care.

His voice rings in your ears, yet no one comes to your rescue.

“What’d I tell you?!” He leans his face closer, his eyes are cold, his jaw is clenched, you can see the anger in his eyes.

“Whore!” He screams again at you. His tall figure is overpowering and you cannot defend yourself, you feel suffocated.

“Stupid bitch! Do you just go flirting around with anyone?!” You hate him. He has no right to act this way.

You don’t deserve this.

“Didn’t I warn you?” He slams his other hand at the wall, startling you, you whimper pathetically.

He doesn’t care.

“I’m going to kill him and gut him right in front your eyes because your stupid little brain doesn’t understand!” He growls, his grip loosens when you whimper out a small please.

“I-I hate you!” You cough violently, attempting to push him away, you hated him so much.

He deserved to burn in hell.

“I never cared!” He laughs, fucking maniac.

“L-Let me go!” You cry once again. “I DONT W-WANT YOU!” You try to get away from him but he’s quick to trap you again.

“Shut your slutty little mouth!” He grabs you by the shoulder, “y-you’re hurting me!”

“What about my heart huh?” He ignores you once again.

“You are mine. I warned you so many times, YN, but you never listen, are you really that much of a whore for a dick!?!”

His words are piercing. But what can you expect from a spoiled psychotic bastard like him.

He doesn’t own you.

“Shut the fuck up Jeon! I’ll never fuck someone like you, you’re psychotic!”

You bite back and that takes him by surprise, his eyes get wide open at your insult. “You are abusive! I’ll never want you, I’d rather die!” You spit at him.

“Are you going to hit me now huh? That’s all you can do really!” It’s your turn to glare at him, his hands leave your body, he’s speechless.

You roll your eyes at him.

“Pathetic bastard, you’ll never have me.” His body is frozen, you don’t move too, glaring at him.

You hate him so much.

“This is not love at all, people like you can never know what’s it like to love and be loved.”

“PSYCHO.” You cannot bring yourself to stop insulting him, you’ve had enough. And before you can stop yourself, you slap him.

“BURN IN HELL.”

He don’t spare him another glance before you grab your bag and leave him standing there.

You’ll never love him.

#jungkook smut #yandere bts #jjk smut #yandere jjk #yandere x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook ff #jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #yandere jungkook #yandere smut #smut #jeongguk smut #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfiction

[lovlive]

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ midnight insomnia' - c.yj

SYNOPSIS - its the middle of the night and you have 2 problems; no.1 you cant sleep, and no.2 you miss your boyfriend. PAIRING - choi yeonjun x f!reader GENRE - fluff, established relationship WARNINGS - reader is depicted with a pink colour, reader is called ‘baby’ and ‘girlfriend’, just yeonjun and y/n being really cute with eachother <3 requested from anon: hi! i dont think you've posted yet, maybe your busy or just dont know what to write about since your a new blog, but i want to put in a req.. could you do reader x yeonjun with the prompt “i can’t sleep, come to my bed” id actually die AAH im so curious what you could turn this into, thanks :}

notes: thanku sm for the req! yeah, i havent been writing yet since my brain was blank tbh i had no ideas for a fanfic in mind 😭😭 but now youve added fuel to my fire and ill try start writing more often :3 (and yes, the 127 in the fic was on purpose)

The moon cast a soft glow through the small sliver between your curtains, painting the room in hues of silver. In the quiet of the night, you tossed and turned under your soft blanket, unable to find solace in slumber. As you battled with your insomnia, you just couldnt keep your mind off of one thing; Yeonjun. You couldnt stop thinking about the way he would hold you through these chilly early-spring nights, and how much you missed his warm body next to yours. At this point you’ve realised just how starved you were from him despite only seeing him a couple of days ago.

You gave up on your slumber, rolling like a log from one side of your bed to another to pick up your phone. The sharp glow from the screen hit your eyes, your face instinctively scrunching up since you werent used to the brightness. Your fingers lazily glided over to the message app icon, and then tapped on Yeonjun’s contact. The time at the side of the screen caught your eye, and your realised it was 1:27 AM. You were a little weary of texting your boyfriend at this late hour; you knew that he was probably tired after a long day of practicing and you didnt want to seem selfish or too clingy. But you shook off your bad feelings since you knew that Yeonjun wasnt the type to be able to fall asleep easily either. You began to type your messages…

“jjunieeee..”

“baby… ☹️”

As expected, Yeonjun was of course awake. Your one word messages were opened by him a minute later. He looked at the texts, a little confused on why you’d be texting him right now. Any how, he started typing back.

“y/n? why’re you still up. you better not be up to some weird shi 😐”

“jjunie, i cant sleep. come to my bed.”

“baby, its half 1 in the morning.”

“please..😔 i really cant sleep and i need sum1 by my side 😞”

“y/n you’re going to be the death of me... but what wouldnt i do for my beautiful girlfriend”

“ill be there in 5”

“yippee! 😇 i love you ❤️”

“love you more baby ❤️”

Your face lit up as your boyfriend agreed to come over. You immediately put your phone back on your side table and plugged it back into charging, then quickly tossed the dirty socks that were lying on your bedroom floor underneath your bed to appear a little tidier. After a little while, you could hear a quiet knock echo through your small apartment; your face lighting up once again. Your feet quickly brought you to your hallway, where you rummaged your drawer for your keys. Eventually finding them, you jammed the correct key into the keyhole, twisiting it and gently opening the door. As your boyfriend appears from behind the door, you immediately pull him into a hug, shutting the door behind him. “Whats up with you today?” He teases as he feels your arms lock around him tightly, wrapping his arms around your waist in response. “Just missed you baby.” You responded, taking in his soft scent which you missed badly. “Y/n, we just saw eachother a few days ago..” His chuckle landed right in your ear, warm breath brushing right up against your ear. The sensation of course did not fail to make you blush a little. “Yeah, but ‘just a few days ago’ feels like an eternity to me.” You whisper into his shoulder, finding comfort in just burrying your face in his shoulder and hiding from the world. You feel his hands come away from your waist and up to your back, rubbing small circles. “You really arent a patient person, are you? Now, lets get you to bed.” He whispers as he takes your hand in his and begins to lead you over to your bedroom. You obviously dont resist, and grip his hand back as you walk behind him. None of you made a sound as you walked to your bedroom. Both of your social batteries were drained from the long day you’ve survived today, and all you wanted to do was to hold eachother in peace as you tried to fall back into a slumber.

You walk into your bedroom, and Yeonjun leads you straight to your bed. He lets you crawl in and under the covers as he takes off his jacket and throws it onto the chair you have by your desk. He came just wearing his pajamas, since he knew all you were going to do together was snuggle and sleep. He climbs onto your bed, arms wrapping tightly around your body as your face hides in his chest. His hand runs through your soft hair in a consoling manner, trying to get you to feel more tired and sleepy. His hands work like magic, your eyes beginning to feel heavier by the minute. But before you fall asleep, you give his hand a gentle squeeze and manage to whisper a set of three familiar words.

“I love you.”

#drabble #kpop imagines #one shot #x reader #kpop #yeonjun #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun drabbles #txt #txt imagines #txt fanfic #yeonjun fanfic #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun x y/n #yeonjun x you #yeonjun oneshot #oneshot #txt oneshots #new kpop blog #fanfic

[oxymorayuri]

Hiii i read the acex reader i dont remember the title but its the one where she was the revolver?

I wanted to request more parts for it please BCS THE WAY U WRITE IT ITS SO CAPTIVATING I CANT

So yes thats all i wanted PLEASE DO CONSIDER 🙏

It will get me through my exams 😔🔫

❞𝐍𝐨 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬❝

Part two

If you haven't read the first part yet, you can find it here or the overview. ♡♡♡

✦ Pairing: Portgas D. Ace x Reader ✦ Warnings: cussing/language, suggestive content ✦ Spoiler: none

A/N: Aw that is so cute! You know what? Why not? I really fell in love with the revolver too. I had to think of something to continue it but see for yourself, I hope you like it sweetie. PS: I hope everything goes well with your studies <3

wordcount: 2488

! ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ !

ᴍɪɴᴏʀꜱ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛ

𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓: Ivan Imros

Everything before your eyes appears as if you're looking through a curtain. Time passes more slowly, every touch seems both intense and unreal, but you feel the desire.

There is nothing but desire... the thirst for more.

Light as a feather, you feel as if you are not even in control of your body. But that's not a problem. You enjoy every second, no matter how blurred everything seems to you.

Perhaps because you know that it is nothing more than just a desire. Your movements are rhythmic and you try to intensify the feeling with every thrust, but there are limits to how much you can feel.

Your options are small but you are grateful for what is in front of you.

You can dimly see the lust shining in Ace's eyes, while barely feeling his hands on your hips as they guide you into bliss. Your mind is constantly shifting between lucid yet dazed and one moment you are riding him while the next his lips are caressing yours.

Full of pleasure you close your eyes, your voice says 'more' but you don't feel your lips moving and although your eyes are closed, it gets brighter and brighter behind your eyelids…

You groan in annoyance as you pull the covers over your head. Damn that sucks. This isn't the first dream you've had about Ace, but it's never been as intense as this one.

You cannot escape the images of the things that happened between you and you keep dreaming about that night on the beach. A whole week has passed since then and you and Ace are far from what you could have become and whose fault is it?

Yep, yours.

The angry wiggle in bed gets you nowhere, but you are so annoyed by the situation that you have to let it out.

After your fit of rage, you look up at the ceiling of your room in defeat. Slight dark circles adorn your face because it takes half an eternity for your brain to finally shut up. You don't even want to think about Ace and when you are surrounded by complete silence, his face automatically appears before your eyes. You've spent a few nights tossing and turning in your bed because every time you close your eyes you see him. No matter how tired you were, you couldn't get a wink of sleep.

You tousle your hair. Your ego is so big that you would rather die than approach Ace.

You wonder why you reacted the way you did. After your night, you woke up alone in your room and even though you didn't expect him to be lying next to you, you wished for it.

Loneliness engulfed you and as lonely as you felt, the more you didn't want him to get near you. You felt so available and that's a pretty strange feeling for you… Would it have been different if you had woken up next to him?

You'll never know.

As usual you gave him the cold shoulder but this time you had an additional reason... but somehow you feel a bit childish about it now.

Your thoughts are spinning around. What is your reason anyway? The answer seems to secretly pile up inside you and that makes you nervous.

Should you really have reacted like this? You haven't said a single word to each other. Okay, you haven't said a single word to him… At least he tried, you have to give him that, but after 3 days he had given up. He just leaves you alone and doesn't even get on your "nerves" like before. Nothing nada

Somewhat sadly, you pull your knees towards you and put your head down. You can only blame yourself.

You idiot!

If it wasn't for Jozu, you would probably never have come out of your cabin. He actually managed to get you out of the room.

Well, he more or less dragged you out. He just barged into your room, came up to you without saying a word and grabbed you by the neck. You noticed him, but you didn't have the strength in your bones to really react.

Somewhat belatedly you grab him by his bulky arm but every attempt is in vain and when you realized, that he wanted to leave your room with you, all alarm bells rang in your head.

Like a wild animal, you tried to escape from his grip but no matter how much you scratched him or how hard you hissed, he wouldn't budge. You feisty thing. Without paying the slightest attention to you, he brought you onto the deck and although you were brought here rather roughly, he set you down on the ground with care.

"Touch me like that again and…!!!!!" You are caught off guard when your mouth is suddenly covered with tape; you hadn't expected that. You can only grumble in anger and your eyebrows furrow up furiously as you look up at your commander.

"Hah your stare can't do anything to me you stupid ass!" He makes fun of you while he ties your arms and legs and you have no chance to resist.

The big man took a step back as he watched you wobble pathetically back and forth. You try to free yourself because you are beginning to feel that you are in a critical situation.

Your strength returns and the ropes loosen. Jozu doesn't hesitate any longer and immediately ties you up completely from head to toe, which looks ridiculous. Like a mummy, with only your head free, he leaned you against the ship's mast.

From behind you, you hear Ace apparently going through something similar as you and suddenly he is thrown to the ground in front of you by Marco. He wasn't set down as gently as you were, and with a pained look he rubs his cheek, which has just kissed the ground.

"What's wrong with you guys?" Confused, he looks at the men in front of him who just look down at him with stern expressions and folded arms. Jozu's eyes wandered over to you and Ace's eyes followed his. With shock written all over his face, he looked at you with widened eyes.

Without commenting, he looked back at the two commanders and then Marco broke the silence.

"What have you done Ace." Marco's voice seemed a little threatening. Astonishment spread across Ace's face.

"ME?" Startled, he pointed his own finger at his chest. "I have done NOTHING!" He defends himself with a slightly raised voice.

You want to laugh out loud but the tape stops you.

"I don't know what happened between you, but one thing is clear and that is that the two of you have something to sort out!" Jozu lays out the facts.

"You're so wrapped up in your thoughts that you're constantly setting yourself on fire and even if it doesn't hurt you, it's affecting the people around you." His gaze went to you as he noticed your muffled laughter. "And you? We don't even need to talk about you, y/n. But let me refresh your memory. First you shouted at Ace, then you didn't say a word to ANYONE and then you didn't come out of your room for two whole DAYS!!!" The commander breathes in and out, somewhat exhausted.

You weren't even aware that you were behaving outrageously, but now that Jozu has reminded you, you can't deny it. Ace is bothering you and you are bothering him.

Marco touches his forehead, somewhat distraught.

"Listen, if Newgate gets wind of this, he'll talk to you… is that what you want?!" You both shake your heads in panic at the same time.

"I thought so." - "Ace, you were last with y/n that night and she's been so nasty ever since. Did something happen between you?" Jozu interjects.

He exhales a little helplessly and drops his shoulders.

"hahhh, I don't know… I thought we had a good time but the next day everything was different than I thought and that's why I wanted to talk to her to find out what I did wrong!" He turns to you and for the first time you see a look on his face that you never expected to see. He looks angry with a hint of confusion.

"But SHE doesn't want to talk!" he points his finger at you like a child. Offended, you grimace. Luckily, the tape is stuck to your lips because no matter what you would have said, it wouldn't have made any sense anyway. You're so irrational that you don't even recognize yourself.

The two standing men looked at each other and nodded. You and Ace don't quite understand what's happening now, but you'll find out soon enough.

Marco grabbed Ace by the shoulder and led him ahead of him. Ace doesn't really resist and starts to move. When Jozu approached you, you didn't want to leave the stage without a fight. You tried to move like a worm to escape from your commander and even though he admires your efforts, there's no point in trying to escape, because you're just as fast as a worm - not at all. Jozu has an easy time with you and throws you over his shoulder.

The two of them threw you into a prison cell made of sea stone and before they locked the cell, Jozu freed you from your full body bondage. You are glad that your mouth is free again because now you can finally let out all the bad words you have left for Jozu.

"You son of a bitch! Just wait until I'm out of here, then you'll be given a bloody surprise… I'm telling you!"

But you idiot threw yourself against the bars to grab the big man, forgetting that the bars are made of sea stone and that you now have the power of a devil fruit that you still have to get used to.

The energy sapping feeling in your body is sudden, overwhelming and slowly you go down to the ground.

While the men walk away from the cell, Marco shouts something back to you.

"You stay in there until you've sorted this out!" Grinding your teeth, you roll onto your back with the last ounce of your strength and close your eyes.

If I can't see him, then he's not there...

Yeah, exactly, that will work… You don't really believe that, do you?

"Hey… I'll leave you alone if you want, but the others are right. We take it out on the others and that's not okay. We're a crew…" The word crew makes you open your eyes without wanting to.

You sigh in annoyance and roll onto your side so that Ace can stare at your back.

"Yea, maybe. Leave me alone." Your stubbornness is driving Ace crazy, but he doesn't really want you to be like this with each other. Above all, he wants to know why you're like this to him. What did he do wrong?

He's been racking his brains for days about what he could have done or said that upset you so much. He wants to make things better if you would let him.

"If you're not going to talk to me, at least take the bed. Sleeping on the floor won't do you any good." You have no idea what kind of cheap trick that is. Is he trying to get you to sleep in a bed with him? You look back towards the bed but Ace isn't there. He's sitting next to the bed with his back against the wall.

Unexpectedly, disappointment spreads through you. Wait a minute? Is that what you secretly wanted?

A little confused, you stand up and stop in front of Ace, who looks up at you. His unkempt hair falls back slightly as he looks up at you. How you would like to swallow your pride and fall into his arms, but you have no idea where to start. You don't know what to say because you don't even quite understand what is wrong with you. So you say nothing and stare at him with tired eyes as he sits in front of you with one leg bent and his arm resting on his knee.

Ace doesn't quite know how to react, but he's not one to do nothing.

He stands up just a few centimeters away from you and now you are the one looking up at him.

His gaze scans your face for answers that you can't even give yourself.

"What have I done?" he whispers to you. His pained voice tears apart your heart. You didn't know Ace could sound so vulnerable.

"I…, I don't know." you mumble your words, but your gaze remains fixed on Ace.

You have no further answer for Ace and walk towards the bed and lie down with your back to him again.

"Sleeping on the floor won't do you any good…" You repeat Ace's words back to him, feeling less pathetic since he said it first.

You listen closely as you can make out the sound of his feet approaching the bed. His shadow falls on the wall, which you stare at, waiting to see what comes next.

You feel the mattress go down a little and you automatically hold your breath until you can hear your heartbeat.

Ace looks down at your slender figure. His eyes wander over your delicate curves. He would love to stroke your hips until you fall asleep, but he's not sure how far he can go without making a mistake... but he has a feeling that doing nothing would be a mistake too.

He decides to lie down with his chest against your back. Lying on his back doesn't really work, there wouldn't be enough room and back to back would be awkward. He really makes an effort not to touch you unnecessarily. He's already glad that you offered him the bed.

You try to calm down, but Ace's breathing gives you goose bumps on the back of your neck. You pinch your eyes shut and try to concentrate on Ace's warmth, hoping you'll be able to fall asleep soon.

Luckily for you, you quickly find your way to the land of dreams because with Ace behind you, one could say; he's no longer buzzing around in your head...

Stay tuned for the next Part babes <3

➽ Next chapter

#one piece #ace x reader #portgas d ace x reader #portgas d ace #one shot ace #ace one piece #portgas ace x you #portgas d ace smut #portgas d ace one piece #ace x you