i think one of the most flustering and flattering things to hear is someone telling you that you’re fun to tease.
not only is it incredibly flustering but it’s also comforting in a way?? i struggle a lot with people pleasing and feeling guilty for being given affection and attention because there’s times i feel like i don’t deserve it or i worry that i’m subconsciously like demanding the person give me attention. which is silly and i know it’s silly but my brain still has those irrational fears y’know?
so getting that reassurance that the other person is also getting enjoyment out of it?? that they like to make me feel this way and are doing it because they want to, not because they feel like they have to?
I have a theory that Spider is dealing with some internalised homophobia/denial.
Firstly, when Quinni suggests he doesn’t like vaginas, he gets “the most triggered” that Sasha has ever seen him. Like, actually upset. He calls Quinni a “fucktard”, an insult which is supposed to cut her deep, since she’s autistic. Perhaps because he feels like Quinni cut him just as deep by suggesting he’s not into girls.
He’s always making gay jokes that can be a bit on the risky side. “Shut up, Spider!” A surprisingly common thing in people dealing with internalised homophobia is to very vocally joke about or insult gay people; if you’re mean to people like you, then you can’t possibly be one of them! Right?
Then later on it’s revealed that he was unable to “get it up” with Amerie. Why? Yes, sometimes shit just doesn’t work when it comes to sex. But combined with previous hints, and given that this story already features tons of queer characters, it could be because of his sexuality.
(Extra tidbit: Spider and Ant are pretty close. They’re always hanging around each other. They even have matching nicknames, which shows that other people naturally associate them with each other. I could easily see their friendship turning into something more later on.)
Sidenote: I’m also curious about Ant’s background; he’s mentioned multiple times how disapproving/strict his religious parents are of him, and he really wants their approval. After the sex map outed him to his disapproving parents, he makes lots of these remarks. Things like “I wish my dad would be proud of me”, “Mum’s taking me to church again”, “Wow Amerie, your Mum’s scarier than mine…”
If both Ant and Spider are explored in this way, it would be really interesting. Two characters dealing with shame and disapproval about being gay, externally and internally, and figuring it out together.
(If I’m wrong, then that’s cool too. Their friendship’s pretty great. But if my theory turns out to be right, those writers are so good at dropping small hints. I only noticed them on my second watch!)
This show has created such interesting, layered characters– I hope that in Season 2 of Heartbreak High we’ll learn a bit more about them.
So I broke my vow to never write a fanfiction again and I wrote a one shot about Spider and Amerie. Because on AO3 there was NOTHING. A VOID. A DESERT!!!
I was truly desperate.
"He would have passed away back then if he had the option. Nothing had ever hurt him as much. For him, Amery WAS too much. He was a complete loser, Ant was the funny one, and Dusty was the hot guy Ams was simping for. Even to her, Spider was nothing. He felt a punch to his stomach, but despite how cruel it was, it didn't kill him. When she kicked his clothes, he quickly changed and left.
Then, as he was heading home, he sobbed nonstop. He despised her, but he despised himself and his stupid cock who had betrayed him even more.Of course, she still wouldn’t want him even if he was able to get it up because to her, it was just a fucking hookup. When Spider caught Ambery looking at Dusty, he felt a strong urge to physically barf his soul and guts out because he knew that she had a thing for his best friend, and not him."
Sometimes when I get bored I’ll check up on people I haven’t talked to in a while and see how they are holding up it makes me happy to see said people living their best lives
I need binder recommendations please! My current ones are a couple years old and from GC2B but I keep hearing they've gotten really shit now :/ extra appreciated if y'all are larger chested and have something that works really well for you
Spencer Reid is a very private person, he has his things that he doesn't tell his teammates. So, when he meets you, he doesn't tell them, it's not important and it never comes up, so they just don't know. When he starts wearing a ring that you both insist isn't a wedding band, he doesn't tell anyone. You're not married legally, so why does it matter? The team notices, but outside of some snide and humorous remarks, nothing is said about it. Your relationship is a quiet thing, it's between you, and Spencer and only the two of you. People will ask if you're married, and you'll both say no as you fidget with the ring on your left hand. You're husbands in every meaning of the word, except for the legal aspect, but thats your business, not anyone else's. You're not boyfriends though, you're thirty years old so boyfriends doesn't quite fit the bill anymore, you refer to each other as partner, because that works well enough. You live together, you have a joint Bank account, you're the beneficiary of his life insurance policy should anything happen, you share an insurance plan. It's just how it is between the two of you. Hotch knows simply because to add you to is insurance he had to go through Aaron, but he doesn't like making it his business what Spencer does.