#i don't really ~do~ international politics on my social media

[qqueenofhades]

Hey hilary - i really dont want to "borrow grief from the future" as they say but im feeling p lonely abt the supreme court decision looming re trump immunity. It feels like another part of my country is dying, and like the people around me are so fixated on international issues that i can't really talk about it. I dont want to just joke nervously about the impending installation of a dear leader around the water cooler - i want to be able to be as scared and sorrowful as i feel this moment deserves - and i dont want to be here alone. I completely understand if you want to step back from these topics pls feel free to ignore this ask, but would it be crazy to just make a supreme court decision meetup group? I want to really talk about this thing with people who care and understand this topic but i feel far away from an expert. Would it be insane to call the law scholar from the local school to chat?

I will say that yes, I have taken a step back from talking/posting/answering asks about politics because it is already going to be such a long year with so much nonsense to survive, and I am in a state where I need to conserve my spoons about it. This is currently what I need to do for my mental health, and as such, I do understand your need to find someone to talk about things that aren't just The Internet Outrage Du Jour, and which have a very profound impact on the future of the country. Please do what is best for you, reach out to people at the law school or trusted friends, and in my opinion, probably DON'T try to get reassurance from social media around this -- just because social media is hardwired to make you as worried and angry about all things at all times as possible. If what you want and need is conversations in the real world with real people who will bring a real-person perspective to this and not just that of the Terminally Online, by all means -- do so!

This is a tough and uncertain time for all of us, and we all have different ways of coping with it. There is so much going on, we need to find some way to filter or manage or otherwise not go totally crazy, and what that looks like is different for everyone. I may not be answering a ton of (or perhaps any) politics asks for a while, just because I too need to limit my exposure and pace myself for another f'n 8 months of 2024, but I do hope that everyone can do the same and find techniques that work for them. I am wishing you (and all!) the best. <3

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts

[bogunicorn]

i'm not a world politics expert by any means but it kinda feels like if you know that hamas' violence against civilians is unacceptable and horrific and needs to be stopped, it should be a quick mental jump from that to admitting that israel "fighting back" by doing worse to palestinian civilians is also unacceptable and horrific and needs to be stopped.

genocide is always wrong, violence against civilians is always wrong. but doing this "israel is fighting back against hamas, that's why it's okay that they're cracking down on gaza" song and dance is a disgusting reaction. if you can understand that american imperialism is wrong and often nurtures the very terrorists the US was supposedly there to stop by visiting horrors upon the civilians of the countries it invades and radicalizing them, then you also fundamentally understand why israel is responsible for hamas.

no reblogs and shit on this one, i'm not opening the floor for debate on whether or not it's proportional "retribution" to commit genocide, you can just block me. i have no delusions that this will meaningfully help anyone or anything, i just won't be considered a "safe" person for zionists.

#bog post #i don't really ~do~ international politics on my social media #not bc i don't have strong feelings about it #but because i'm not sufficiently educated and don't have a relevant perspective on a lot of it #not to the extent that i think my contributions to the conversation online are useful #but it feels important at this point to invite zionists and israel sympathizers to please fuck off #and if criticism of israel openly committing war crimes and genocide feels to you like antisemitism #1) no it's not; 2) ask yourself if justifying genocide is something you really want to be doing in any circumstance #'but bog what about the related rise of antisemitism in other countries in direct response to this situation?' good question! #that's also fucked up and wrong #but just like how you can be anti-gov't in the US and be hypercritical of far right christianity's impact on bigotry and violence in americ #you can also be hypercritical of israel without being antisemitic #hope that helps

[queerism1969]

What is something about being LGBT that a straight person would never guess is a thing you have to deal with on a regular basis?

People asking how you have sex

Once you come out, you never truly stop coming out.

Being queer means that you are going to be really lonely a lot of the time.

The mini internal debate you have every time you tell a story about your SO. Do I say friend or girlfriend? Have I come out to this person yet?

People ask if I know X person because they're also gay.

When you're gay, there's a very real chance your Significant Other will not have a family to bring you into.

Any expression of my sexuality is "being in your face about it" and "it shouldn't be your whole personality".

Everyone had an opinion about my mere existence.

People legitimately question the validity of your relationship, and whether it's just a phase-especially if you're bisexual

Straight people always want to know what your type is. It always feels like a test to see if you find them attractive.

How to properly have sex. They REALLY don't teach you that in sex education.

You never know who is secretly homophobic whether at work or in public, so you always have to act "straight" in a lot of situations

You get sick of never being represented in media, but straight people don't really get it.

Getting polite service is difficult.

Office workers will sometimes purposely send you on goose chases because they don’t want to serve you.

Before y'all knew I was gay, you talked a lot of smack about "the gays." You don't remember, but I remember. I will always remember.

Losing nail clippers can really harm a relationship.

Being queer sometimes feels like being a 30-something-year-old teenager in a community full of 30-something teenagers and weirdly grown-up kids who’ve been living on their own since being kicked out by their bigoted parents at 16.

We have to constantly police our language.

The shame/internalized homophobia.

Your right to exist being a political debate

Wondering when the Supreme Court will revoke my rights.

You can’t really just have sex on a whim... You have to spend time (a lot more than you think) to clean.

While closeted, probably the weight of the secret or the fear of someone finding out.

A gay person will watch any TV show or movie, no matter how bad, if they hear there is even a slice of positive gay representation in it.

When a gay couple kisses in public, people stare. Not even out of disgust or anything, but just because it’s still kind of foreign to them.

You can't always go to the place you want for your honeymoon, because you might get killed

Being described as someone’s “gay best friend” and not just their best friend.

Every time we tell someone we have a partner, and it catches them off-guard, they proceed to tell me about a gay person they know.

The doctor is always super surprised as to how we can be both sexually active and be 100% sure that we are not pregnant

People force you to come out, and they act like they’re doing you a favor.

You have to be prepared to lose any friendship at the drop of a hat

Every couple of years or so, we get a random homophobic death threat on social from someone we've never interacted with.

#lgbtqia #lgbtq community #lgbt pride #lesbian #nonbinary #sapphic #lgbtq #queer #nonbinary lesbian #gay girls #lgbt nsft #pride #lgbtqplus #queer community #queer culture #queer nsft #queer pride #queer artist #lgbt #trans #mtf pride #pride month #happy pride 🌈 #trans pride #gay pride #pride flag

[pansear-doodles]

update on the ludeo thingy; in regards to the rw discord server

"Hey Pansear, i would like to inform you regarding the Rain World recent problem.

The server staff would be very opened to know more about ludeo as far as I am aware via courier bot, even tho they may unable to be in direct contact with Akupara nor it's developer, but it may help in the littlest way possible

As far as I am received from their respond, they are not aware of Ludeo being associated with Israel/zionist company and they don't support it whatsoever. They also suggest to keep awareness on other social medias until further updates regarding it

I can send the full respond iyw, tho it's really long, so this is a tldr

Sorry for drop a dm but i just want to let you know /lh"

"Hi there [redacted], This is RW Server Staff. We would like to inform you that we as a community server do not have direct affiliation with Akupara nor a say in their decisions. Obviously the issue of ludeo being a zionist company is one that's important and how staff will approach the issue will be discussed internally; no one on our team is in support of zionism, and none of us want to be associated with publishers who support it. We only have so much power in this matter - to restate once more, we don't directly affect the development of the game or have direct lines of communication with Akupara as a whole. We can't allow discussions like this in the server as its a place members come to to relax and distract themselves from personal or real-world issues; most people just want to talk about their experiences with the game or other things they're up to etc. We strongly recommend raising awareness on any other platforms you can or in satellite servers, and we treat any other sensitive/political issue the same way. Courier is the best way to inform staff about situations like this so we can come to a decision; ludeo being zionist wasn't something we were aware of beforehand and we're willing to listen through Courier. We'll be discussing how to approach this and what resources we can give out later on when more staff are available.

I cencored my name for anonymity, but this is the whole respond i got from them"

#rain world #rainworld #rainworld downpour #rain world downpour

[fairuzfan]

It's the zionist concern anon again. I will say for now that with what you said about prioritizing Palestinians I do agree. The people going through a genocide are a bigger priority than people who are not going through a genocide. I just fear that due to the fact I am neither Palestinian or Jewish that I may end up embracing stances that I do not actually understand and that innocent people may suffer because of it. I do not want to be irresponsible. I am also someone who lives in a country built on stolen land, so that does to some sort of extent influence my feelings on Isreal as I imagine many people in Isreal share my thoughts on the fact we have lived our entire lives on stolen land. As I said before, I also do not know any Palestinians personally so I find it hard to know who I can ask about the history, Hamas, technical details of politics, etc without risking being taught the wrong things. On a much more selfish note, I also struggle with debilitating mental health issues that make it very difficult to navigate moral issues especially if the moral issues do not impact me on a personal level. So if I am being honest, my questions are not entirely selfless as I have very self-centered fears on if I am actually a horrible person. I thank you again for being so understanding, but I figure the right thing to do here is admit I am likely not as pure intentioned in my questions as I should be when a large factor to why I worked up the courage to ask is in hope I am worrying too much about my quality of moral character from a selfish perspective. Again, I thank you for being so understanding and willing to answer these asks instead of just brushing me off as a horrible zionist.

I don't think you're a horrible person at all I just think everyone has underlying zionist biases because it's a product of the society we live in.

And I do understand where you're coming from, honestly. Something that always helps me is remembering something that my parents taught me as a kid: always stand on the side of the oppressed. Now as I grew up I realized you have to define what oppression means and I think exploring that will also help you get a better understanding of how to combat other forms of racism/antisemitism/transphobia/etc.

If you do want to learn about hamas tho, I would suggest taking a look at Tareq Baconi, he has a lot of writings about the history of Hamas and he's Palestinian. There are also Palestinian podcasts and social media accounts. I understand that not knowing a palestinian personally to help you guide yourself through these things is daunting, but there are plenty of resources to help! It's why I'm here on this blog honestly, I don't mind you reaching out to me for questions or anything.

A good principle to remind ourselves with is "how can I ensure that justice can be had?" And to find the answer to that you need to look into multiple types of antizionist thought. Some blogs I like to check out for a diverse antizionist opinion are @el-shab-hussein and @bringmemyrocks as a couple of examples. Plus I'd look to Black American thinkers on antiracism (like Angela Davis and James Baldwin and Kwame Ture) because they do a good job of showing you how to examine your internal biases which we are all subject to.

I don't think this selfish to want to be a good person. I have the same worries. I actually do get worried that sometimes I'm *actually* a bad person secretly without me realizing and I reach out to friends and family to talk it out. Something that helps me through this is realizing that you have to forgive yourself for previous beliefs you've had and promise yourself to do better because at the end of the day youre human and you make mistakes.

But really my biggest advice is to read and listen to a variety of schools of thought and if you can, interact with local communities dedicated to antiracism. Even if theyre digital communities! That will help a lot with identifying any problem points.

Again, feel free to reach out with any questions. I don't think you're a zionist at all! Please don't worry and thanks for reaching out :)

[because-its-eurovision]

i love how after everything that has happened, he STILL somehow thinks people won't turn up to his gigs. what a guy

Here's the thing: he hasn't actually seen everything that's happened. He hasn't had time to take that all in.

Before UMK, some dozens or tens of people came to his shows and he has made fun of it, saying that his gigs never have a back row because there are so few people attending. He even organized a joke contest in his IG stories, and the winning one was along the lines "I don't like crowds, that's why I only go to Käärijä's gigs". Then after UMK his gigs were suddenly sold out, but most of them were still on small venues and nightclubs that could fit maybe a few hundred people. He got big hype before UMK and even bigger after winning that of course, but he really didn't have time to react to anything as he was doing as many shows as possible and doing hundreds of interviews and podcasts and challenge videos and what have you, and practicing singing and dancing and performing before leaving to Liverpool.

Then he was in Liverpool for two weeks without almost any time off, again every day filled with interviews and promotion videos and parties and rehearsals, and the hours he had off he didn't spend on social media but with Joker Out and other contestants, just to relieve the stress and pressure. So he wasn't in Finland, and he wasn't on social media that much, so he didn't see the actual craze that took over this country. Kids dressing in green and practicing Cha Cha Cha on music classes, stores running out of piña colada and Malibu and pineapple juice and everything green including grapes, all landmarks and statues in every city either dressed up in green boleros or lighted up with green lights, people dying their hair green and getting bowlcuts, people getting Käärijä tattoos, people sewing so many green boleros and other outfits that the biggest fabric store chain ran out of all green fabrics, people with green make-up and nails, the fan art everyone was making, even the government offices and political parties changing their logos Käärijä green on Instagram and Facebook, the support messages and posts, literally every store from clothing chains to grocery stores and art supply stores putting their neon green and pink stuff on display in the window - hell, even my local pet store had their neon green fluffy cat toys on the prime spot!

He said in an interview that he heard rumours of all that happened, but of course he hasn't seen it. He said that he has around 100.000 notifications unread and he won't have time until maybe autumn to start checking out what has actually happened this year.

When you think about it from his point of view, six months ago he was a broke-ass musician with a day job, living in a tiny apartment. Some dozens of people used to come to his shows, and then suddenly after Cha Cha Cha he was selling out venues, small ones, but still. Then he left for Eurovision with the single goal of winning, and he didn't achieve that, so he thought himself as a loser, that he had disappointed everyone who supported him. From his point of view he is still the same broke-ass musician living in a tiny flat, but now he's unemployed and Eurovision loser so even more of a failure. So why are there thousands of people suddenly coming to the shows and wanting to see him? Of course it would be baffling to him. He wasn't there when he became a national hero, and he doesn't yet understand that he is no longer a failed musician, he is an international phenomenon.

#I really hope his head can take all this #but he said that he is already planning to start therapy to deal with everything which is a great decision #I know UMK has their own therapist but this is so ridiculously huge #I said a couple of years ago that there hasn't been a craze like Blind Channel since Dingo fever in the 80's #but this is bigger than that #everyone knows who Käärijä is even if they are not on social media or didn't watch esc #this reminds me of how people acted when Lordi won #but we didn't have social media with billions of likes and shares and edits and dms and what have you #asks #käärijä

[intimidating-fettuccine]

I remember once you said the creeps were like celebrities in the underworld, may I have some headcanons on the struggles they have?

I tried to choose a few of the biggest struggles that I think they have

Popular assassins (like the creeps) in the Underworld are viewed as a type of celebrity down there, and that comes with its own set of struggles. To avoid this, a lot of assassins will wear full masks or disguises when working or doing interviews, as this allows them to hide themselves and go about their lives normally, while others enjoy the attention and go out fully undisguised when working. I think there's a combination of this amongst the creeps, that some of them wear masks or disguises in my canon and some don't, but I do think it's standard practice a lot of the time for them to at least wear face coverings when going about their days in public.

One big struggle that assassin-specific celebrities have, is the fact that a lot of their "fans" or other assassins often challenge them to fights on a regular basis, especially the creeps in the mansion that top the charts as best assassins. Some creeps are challenged more than others, but it's not uncommon for some random hotshot in the Underworld to try and think they're stronger and better than the creeps, so a lot of them are in fights regularly. Something else these creeps specifically have to deal with that other assassins might not, is people using them in relation to Slender, as they're incredibly well known as working for him, so people try to use them to either meet Slender or get things from him, or if they dislike Slender, it's not uncommon for other business runners to personally track them down and talk them into working for them instead of Slender. 

Of course, they also have issues with fans seeing them in public and asking for pictures or autographs, which when it's one person isn't bad, but if it's a large group, it can be a pain in the ass, especially when it's a few of the creeps that don't really care about the fans. Jason, who is known for caring about appearances and his standing in high society, will always answer and talk to every fan he encounters, which pisses him off because internally he'd rather not be doing that, and he ends up late for everything. Then, there are creeps like Helen, that are known amongst their fans for being assholes. Helen doesn't like strangers, and if someone comes up to him he'll try and politely say to back off once, but if one person or even a large crowd keeps pushing him, he's not afraid to very loudly tell them to fuck off and leave him alone, which, unfortunately for him, has lead him to attract the crowd that's into that, many going out of their way to try and get him to yell at them. Some of the creeps with anxiety issues also struggle with this, like Toby, who hates crowded places, and so whenever a group of fans surrounds him it can lead to panic attacks and him completely shutting down in public and overloading, which is one of the main reasons he never goes in public alone or without a disguise if nobody can go with him.

It's also unfortunately not uncommon for the creeps to have stalkers, as the more unsavory folks in the Underworld tend to find qualities and skills that they have to be attractive, so a few of them have had some pretty bad cases of stalking over the years, but it's fairly common to get things like obsessive fan mail as well. The Underworld is also very fond of things like drama and rumors, so it's not unheard of for one of them to end up in a scandal, thanks to rumors and lies spread around in the industry and on social media down there. It got to the point for a while that none of them would go out in public with another person because for a few months, dating scandals were at the top of the charts, and they were constantly accused of dating each other and cheating on each other. Stuff like this can make actual dating incredibly difficult for the creeps, because if they bring their partner to the Underworld, there's a high risk of being spotted and photographed, or their partner having to deal with the drama of the creeps being rumored to be dating someone else, even outside of the mansion. Some of them have lost romantic relationships and even friendships to things like this, and so a few of them get to the point of either choosing not to date or keeping their romantic history completely on lockdown. However, a lot of them also aren't ashamed to step out in the spotlight and make it incredibly well-known that they have a romantic partner, and that that romantic partner isn't going anywhere.

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x reader #slender mansion mayhem #slenderman headcanon #slenderman #slenderman headcanons #jason the toymaker #jason the toymaker headcanon #jason the toymaker headcanons #bloody painter #bloody painter headcanon #bloody painter headcanons #ticci toby #ticci toby headcanon #ticci toby headcanons

[arofulboyfriend]

howdy! i'm seren (he/him) and this is my shiny new blog after a long time away from tumblr (or rather just lurking in the shadows). decided to rejoin after a few months of chilling in the aroacespec tags and slowly coming to terms with my own aro identity, and because i think any community could always use another token transmasc /lh

im not big on using social media, so i may post somewhat infrequently, but i do love to meet new people and chat so my ask box and replies are all open and i try to check my notifications often!

about me (brief): like i said my name is seren, i use he/him pronouns, and like the bio says i'm transmasc, lovequeer, and aroace, in broad strokes. i'm an adult in my mid 20s and i like genshin impact and pjsk and a bunch of other things, so you may sometimes see fandom reblogs if they relate to aroace-ness (will always be tagged)

on labels: im still coming to terms with my aro (and, to a lesser extent, ace) identities, so these are subject to change entirely, as of time of writing though, i'm gnc transmasc, bellus- and idem- romantic, bi-alterous and sex-repulsed ace. i recently saw the term "lovequeer" and really liked that too, so it's been added to the hoard (tm). more explanations below the cut for how i personally define and relate to each label!

about the blog: will use cw/tw tags where needed. i dont personally need tone indicators but i try to use them myself, but usage may be inconsistent. if in doubt, just ask, but 99% of the time i probably sound more cold/angry than i actually am. no dni or dnf just don't be a weird exclusionary or separatist a-hole

other than that, thanks for stopping by!

for simplicity i will always default to calling myself some combo of: transmasc, queer, aroace, or aro, but i'm all of them at once

gnc transmasc: i am transmasc, not trans man, trans boy, boy, or man (the "boyfriend" in my url is meant to be understood as a separate label from "boy"). i prefer masculine forms of address from non close friends, i do not like any feminine terms like girl, sis, etc. i am not out to anyone except close friends and safe parties (like pride) irl, and am not on hormones and cannot get surgery for a variety of reasons, but i do not mind dressing feminine, but by default i kinda tend towards tomboyish fashion regardless

bellusromantic: i enjoy conventionally romantic (as per US social norms) gestures in purely platonic contexts, such as holding hands, cuddling, cheek and hand smooching, calling my friends babe/dear, etc. not fond of mouth kissing.

idemromantic: probably bcus of the audhd, but i do not and have never seen an actual difference between "being besties" and "being romantically involved" - i lovingly call myself homie oriented. internally i never understood a sentiment of "more than friends" or whatever and politically speaking i am loudly, angrily critical of said sentiment.

lovequeer: a term i saw on tumblr a few days ago at time of writing. i feel like my relationship to the concept and feeling of "love" is inherently queer (as in "odd/weird" /pos)

bi-alterous: even though i'm aroace, "bi" was the first queer label i ever connected to, and im not willing to drop it. i am able to form close, intimate relationships with any person of any gender

sex repulsed ace: im repulsed by the idea and concept of specifically irl sex/pornography. i indulge in the occasional smutty fanart or smut fic bcus sadly i do have a libido, but i currently and for the foreseeable future only trust one person with any smut oriented discussion and i only make jokes with close friends

#aromantic #aspec #aroace #asexual #lovequeer #arospec #acespec #aro pride #aromantic asexual #i havent used tumblr in a long time so my familiarity with tagging culture is. Off #actual blog will use org and cw/tw tags ! #seren yaps #one day ill probably make this a carrd cause i do love making carrds but im lazy

[meraki-yao]

I have a question since you're from surrounding regions, is taylor actually well known in china? Why do you think GQ went with him there are a lot more famous celebs, taylor doesn't even have a lot screen exposure

So for some reason, I'm taking this question super seriously.

Please note that 1, I can only speak from my observation and my position 2, I'm from Hong Kong, so there are certain things about mainland China that I might not be aware of

Regarding Taylor's notability in China:

Is he well-known? Well, and I say this with all the love I have for Taylor, not really. In fact, during his time in China, there have been several cases in the videos that I reposted that you can hear people ask in Mandarin "Who is he?" A few more recounts I read said that quite several people who ended up near the fan crowd asked "Who is that handsome foreigner?" and followed and took photos/videos of him not because they recognized him, but because they were intrigued. (but side note, even the people who didn't know who he was said that 1, he's really handsome 2, he's really friendly, so that's sweet)

The thing about Taylor's notability in China comes in two regards:

1, RWRB became one of the most popular western queer media to be distributed on streaming platforms in China (especially since most if not all of the local queer media is banned, yes I'm angry about it), so this part kind of goes without explanation

2, Taylor uses Chinese social media platforms, which is really rare for Hollywood actors. This gives him a platform to interact with Chinese fans, since because of firewall/censorship, it's a hassle (and technically illegal but shhhhh) for Chinese fans to check his Instagram/ Tiktok/ Twitter(not that he uses it)/ Threads

Regarding the reason GQ went with him:

1, it was a personal invitation from the Editor-in-chief of GQ China (so more or less the head PIC of the event). They met during the Ferrari show, the Editor, Rocco Liu invited Taylor, Taylor said he'll come if it works out with his schedule and the rest is history.

2, And this is my speculation (because I care about international relationships and thought about this a lot), but I think GQ wanted to try something new by inviting Taylor, a Hollywood actor (and thus promoting the overall image of China but that's getting too political for my taste on my own public platform), and since Taylor is (a) currently popular since RWRB is still relatively new and the Chinese fandom is still really active (b) evidently willing to try out the local ways of things as seen from him using and operating his own Little Red Book and Bilibili account.

I mentioned this before, but I think that since Taylor was so willing to try new things (which is a quality of his that I personally admire greatly), all the people/organizations/companies in China who got in contact with him saw the opportunity to experiment and see what a Hollywood actor could do in a Chinese setting/market and how much traction he can bring. That's my guess for why he was so busy and going from event to event non-stop, and evidently looking tired by the time he was going back to the States (especially for someone who appears to never be tired)

So yeah. I think they took Taylor's enthusiasm for trying new things and his currently persistent popularity in China and ran with it. Not that it's a bad thing though.

But I will say this, for the GQ event, all sorts of people were invited. The most famous ones with a considerable career already (think the equivalent of RDJ, Brad Pitt, Leonardo Dicaprio etc), the currently popular young stars (think the equivalent of K-pop stars or the "white boy of the month" trend) but there were a considerable amount of people that I completely never seen or heard, and neither did a lot of Chines audience. In fact, I don't know who the two ladies who were in the same boat with Taylor during the water carpet are. So there's also that.

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #taylor zakhar perez #alex claremont diaz #anon ask #answered #it's really interesting for me to talk about Chinese culture here #for the record I definitely consider myself more on this side of the web/world #but yeah it's nice #meraki essay

[triptychgrip]

Impact of figure skating politics on post-canon Yuri!!! on Ice

So, even aside from the rampant doping, I think many people are familiar with how the politics within the sport of figure skating really suck -- whether that's in terms of how skating federations meddle with their athletes' careers in ways these athletes clearly don't want or don't even know about, the way regulatory bodies -- the International Skating Union (ISU), and its various Commissions -- can and do remain silent when it comes to speaking out on abuse or corruption, or the complete shit-show of bias within judging, sometimes on a ludicrously visible level.

After all, this is a sport where a judge that showed clear bias at the PyeongChang Olympics was not only invited back to judge at the Beijing Games, but was given the position of being the technical controller!

Sheer madness...

It makes sense why Yuri!!! on Ice didn't delve into this stuff in a 12 episode season b/c the reality is: it's a major bummer.

But I work in public policy and am a social justice researcher whose career focuses on institutional change. So I often find myself asking the question "what would cause institutions/people/movements -- especially with a lot of history and influence behind them -- to change for the better, whether by 'force' (public outcry, insider advocacy, etc.) or their own volition?" It's a question I started thinking about a lot almost as soon as I got into Yuri!!! on Ice a few years back, and specifically, thought about in a post-canon context.

Some of the politics-related questions that surfaced for me, included:

-When Viktor returns to skating, how would his federation (the FFKKR) choose to treat his absence? Would they, perhaps, "make an example" of him at the Rostelecom Cup, purposely underscoring his performances? Or, would they have "given up" on him, trying to focus all of their attention/resources on Yurio's obvious rising star potential?

-Further, would they (with tacit or explicit media support) take a negative stance regarding his and Yuuri's highly public relationship -- perceiving Viktor's romance as a "threat" to his ability to return to the field as strong and focused as before -- or would they choose to ignore it, altogether?

-How would Yurio's growth spurt (which is hinted at in canon) impact the FFKKR's treatment of Viktor if the former is no longer able to put out the kind of performance that he did at the Barcelona Grand Prix Final? Or if Georgi retires from the field?

-How would skaters that wish to skate independently of corrupt federations -- something that is currently not possible under the way the ISU is structured with 'member nations' -- navigate their careers, and what avenues would they have at their disposal to avoid burn-out from the shitstorm of pervasive corruption?

-How would politics affect our favorite characters at an event as globally visible as the PyeongChang Olympic Games, and in its aftermath? (I say this with the caveat that I generally write yoi fic w/ the premise that it took place during the first half of the 2016 skating season, though there is no way to pinpoint the actual season).

All of these questions kept circling about in my head, and I felt highly motivated to begin writing a multichapter, post-canon "future fic". Specifically, a fic that would tell the story of married Yuuri/Viktor at the 2022 Olympic Games, but jumping back in time at various points over the previous five years to showcase how a particular scandal -- other than doping -- at the 2018 PyeongChang Games has "followed them" throughout the years (and has deeply impacted the sport/our other favorite characters).

This fic turned into a series called "Gold's On The Inside, Elevated My Feet", which currently is at 293K total words, and is being updated 1-2 times per month.

I know a lot of people aren't into long, novel-length works, especially if they're WIPs, but if you, like me, are fascinated by some of the real-world issues that might impact Yuuri/Viktor/Yurio and others post-canon, I hope you'll consider checking my work out.

I've included a spoiler-free excerpt from Chapter 11 of part 1 of the series, below, that I feel hints at the politics while encapsulating the Viktuuri fluff, friendship antics, and overall supportive themes that I've tried to weave into my stories.

I hope it piques your interest and encourages you to check the series out, or my other Yuri!!! on Ice fics!

---------

“First of all, how the hell would you have even managed to contact me from all the way over in the Kiss and Cry?” Phichit went on. “Did they imagine you had waved a wand to send a carrier pigeon flying through Gangneung Ice Arena to land directly on my head ? After which, it would peck an intimidating message in Morse code straight onto my scalp?”

Yuuri was now hiccuping giggles, and he was pleased to see that he’d begun to wipe a profuse quantity of tears from his cheeks.

When his best friend had told him that he wanted to hear all the nitty-gritty details of his International Court of Arbitration for Sport (ICAS) hearing, Phichit had definitely had some misgivings; Yuuri and Viktor had flown to Lausanne for their own proceedings directly after the latter’s retirement party in Milan, and given what they’d told him about each brutally long-winded 4 hour session, he’d known fun things were not in store for him.

“But Yuuri without his glasses on can be very intimidating…very sexily intimdating,” Viktor said with a grin, prompting a playful slap on the arm from his fiance; thanks to Yuuri’s thirsty fans, the hashtag #Yuuri’sNearsightedSexySquintTally had become a staple on the competition circuit, and both he and Viktor had taken to alluding to the phrase as much as possible.

“Yes, I’m sure that’s exactly what permanent-frown-dude-arbitrator was referring to,” Yuuri responded, sarcastically, “my nefariously sexy squinting that so very clearly spelled out that Phichit better file a claim, or else.”

He and Viktor both laughed, and he shared a few more snippets from his hearing before conversation moved along to discussion around the other Olympics claimants’ hearings.

“Oh my god, just imagine Christophe during his,” Yuuri said, before giving Makkachin a kiss, right to the top of her fuzzy head.

The poodle was splayed out across both of her dog-dad’s laps, taking up much of the bench directly in front of the rink boards at Hasetsu’s Ice Castle. After their hearing, the couple had flown to St. Petersburg, spending just a few days there to get Makka and Meni and do a round of cursory packing. They’d then taken off for Japan where they planned to stay until mid-June, which was the beginning of the rainy season.

Even from afar, Phichit had been able to keep tabs on Yuuri thanks to Nishigori Yuuko. After thoroughly bonding with her at Viktor’s retirement party – after all, a willingness to drunkenly act out the unhinged plot of The King and the Skater 3: Because Time Loops Are A Thing tended to solidify people in Phichit’s mind as lifelong friends – she had been messaging him through Instagram as well as contributing heavily in the “Yuuri Support Squad” chat.

Soon enough, he’d be able to keep tabs on him in-person, as his own trip to Hasetsu was just three weeks away.

“He’d be all: ‘And then, my esteemed arbitrators, I got distracted from calculating Yuuri’s grade-of-execution, because my eyes were too busy lingering on his delectably muscled thighs as he came out of his triple-lutz, triple-toe combo’,” Viktor said, in a deliberately put-upon Swiss accent, while lasciviously licking his lips.

Phichit barked out a laugh while Yuuri grinned at him.

“Are you sure you aren’t just verbalizing the thoughts you wish you could have expressed during your hearing?” he asked his fiance.

Viktor gasped, theatrically, and clutched Meni even more closely to his chest before responding.

“I would never think such a thing! I’ve become an expert at admiring your beautiful thighs while simultaneously calculating your GOE,” he said, sounding proud. “As any good coach should be.”

#yuri on ice #yuri!!! on ice #viktuuri #victuuri #my writing #ao3 writer #victor nikiforov #viktor nikiforov #katsuki yuuri #yuuri katsuki #phichit chulanont

[chipper-asks]

Hi! I've been following you for a good while now and have always rly admired the community you've build, and, your art itself, obviously, it's always very cozy in here. May be a strange question, but as a relatively popular artist on the interned, are there any tips you could share on how to engage and sustain an audience? maybe you know some recourses for artist to get their art seen? I've been an artist posting online for roughly 10 yrs and pretty much failed at accumulating any sort of prominent presence. I don't feel bad about it really, it's not why I do art per say, but these are pretty rough times and unfortunately other means of art monetization grow thinner with stupid updates & algorithms forcing anyone who can't afford payed adds or subscriptions out of business. I kinda have to make use of social media, even if it's not my element in the slightest. Feel free not to answer if you feel like it. Thanks in advance! Also big thanks for your shouts of my art overall, I really appreciate your support!

So I've had a post in my drafts for who knows how long detailing how to build and curate your audience online. But I haven't found a good way to go about posting it because I didn't want it to come off as tooting my own horn xD

BUT YOU HAVE ENABLED ME SO HERE WE GO!!!

(im going to generalize, you may already be doing some of these things but I think its good info for anyone who wants to build an online presence)

1. Engaging your audience

A: First, you have to think of the platform you're sharing your art on and what people use it for. Not even tumblr, but the internet as a whole. It is a place where people form communities and share information. It's also one of the most popular ways to mentally escape; from school, boredom, to the horrors of real life.

So if you want people to find you, make a space where they can escape/feel community.

This means: No callout posting, no venting, no doom posting, no politics, no guilt posting, no anything that would make you unfollow someone else if you were having a bad day.

It's okay to have an occasional vent or political post cause we're human, but trauma dumping is something thats very hard for someone else to read and honestly should you be putting that kind of information online, the internet is a place of community but it also isnt safe.

B: The Value of Fandoms

It's time for some metrics, featuring my own follower count.

I've been on tumblr for 9 years and I have been making an effort to grow my base as a way of getting money as a freelancer (like you) so I started doing this allll the way back in highschool. I can remember each milestone and which fandom I got them in

1,000 I got when I was posting stuff for Undertale

2,000 I got when I was posting stuff for The Property of Hate

there was a big break between these milestones where I was just drawing ocs and object heads and stuff, but nothing I was hyperfixated on

5,000 I got from Hollow Knight

but then something really unexpected happened.

In late 2021 and early 2022 I decided cringe was a worthless social construct and decided to fully indulge in my enjoyment of doodling dragons.

I juuust inched past 5,000 when 2022 started. I Ended Up With 12,000 as 2022 ended. That's more than double. As of posting this I am at 13,600 and its only February.

So how did that happen? I could tout along and say that it was simply luck and I wasn't really making an effort anyway but that's a big fuckin lie, i've been "selling out" this whole time (it's not fucking selling out to post in fandom. You like a thing? You go to the thing's community and post about the thing)

Posting in a fandom is essentially like, now bear with me, advertising for your blog. Fandom is where the eyes are and where the traffic goes. Big tags like #artistsontumblr #tumblrart #art are used OFTEN but they're too general and often people look for things that are specific. Fandoms like Hollow Knight, BNHA, Mob Psycho, The Owl House, etc are currently popping off and have a lot of traffic.

This doesn't necessarily mean that you need to join a popular fandom to post your work in to get followers, it just means that if you're into a show or a media, post it on your main art blog and don't make side blogs. Keep it all together

Why?

Because 5% of those fandom people stick around for YOUR STUFF and those 5% of people are the best goddamn people in the world. You want those 5% to see EVERYTHING you do and THEY'RE the ones who will recommend you to THEIR friends and do outreach on your behalf because they like YOU and not YOUR STUFF.

i fuckin love those guys

So as you hop from fandom to fandom, you're going to lose some people but that's fine. Everyone curates their experience online and if you head off in a direction they don't like then they can deal with it. The rest come along for the ride cause 1: they either really like your stuff or 2: are into the new thing you're getting into.

SO ANYWAY

posting in fandoms under one name is GOOD because it puts everyone in the same bucket that will see your stuff and there's a chance that a few will stick just for your stuff. It is not cheap, its how you reach out to people to help cheer up their day and escape from things stressing them out.

C: What should you post?

So this is something that isn't an exact science but if you're looking to increase your follower count, this is something you can keep in mind.

Because this is the internet and the digital word of escaping from stress, people flock to things that are

1: Familiar 2: Funny 3: Relatable

So i've already been over fandoms and that's something that goes into the Familiar category. Familiar can also mean generalized but still popular concepts, like werewolves, dragons, vampires, apocalyptic scenarios, etc.

The more you trail into something niche, like marine biology, the seelie/unseelie courts, object heads, etc, the less traffic you'll find. There are communities centered around these but they're not massive like certain fandoms.

Which is how you end up with artists who spend hours upon hours on every piece only getting like 14 - 32 notes per piece. It's not lack of people caring or lack of interest, its the fact that these artists haven't "advertised" their blogs in fandom. Those people who end up caring about more personal posts are those 5% you find from fandom spaces. Their Familiar from that fandom begins to include your artwork as Familiar and thus they're more likely to share it.

Funny is simple. Tumblr is a platform of shitposts and memes. Do you have a favorite character in a fandom? Shitpost them. 2 birds with one stone, Familiar and Funny. I can't teach you how to be funny, but if you see something that makes you laugh online, pause and try to find out why and see if you can replicate it. (You wont get it in one go)

Relate-ability is also simple. If someone finds something they can easily associate with they will eagerly tag #mood #me or @ one of their friends in the post.

What doesn't get people following just by itself is your skill.

This sounds really fucking depressing but hear me out.

Your skill in art is a multiplier. It can take those three categories from above and BOOST IT to fantastic new heights. People love things that are from their fandoms that are funny and relate-able. People go FERAL for shit that is from their fandoms that are funny, relate-able AND COOL AS FUCK. If art represented x5 in an equation and you have nothing else, you get 0. If you include any of those three other things and then x5, you get something grand.

2. Sustaining your Audience.

If you want to set up your blog as a platform to eventually gain freelance income from, you need to make it yours and not your audience's.

This is key to prevent burnout and feeling obligation to create for thousands of featureless faces and losing sight of what made you enjoy art in the first place.

It is REALLY EASY to fall into that pit, especially as you grow your audience. When you have a small audience, it's easier to interact one on one with someone. Engagement is exciting when you have a small audience! People? Interested in your work!! Fuck yeah!!

But as you reach those milestones, the vibe begins to change. More and more people demand your attention. People who are new don't see you as an artist they knew from another fandom, they see you as a content creator and that is the worst goddamn stone wheel to get stuck around your neck.

You can still respond to requests and answer silly questions, but now you have to keep in mind that if you draw this little dragon for someone, three other people are going to ask for their own little dragons. And that's fine because you love dragons and they asked so nicely. You make those dragons but now there's seven people asking for their own dragons and you actually want to work on something other than dragons-- but you made those dragon doodles for those other people so wouldn't it be hypocritical to say no-

It becomes a spiral.

So to prevent that situation from happening, you need to respect your boundaries as an artist and what you will do and what you will draw the line at. If someone doesn't like you for that, they can unfollow.

In terms of posting regularly to sustain your audience, i've found that it helps but ultimately doesn't matter.

(this is a tumblr centric view, i cannot say the same for other platforms)

The way tumblr works resembles a massive recycling facility. You will see shit on your dash from 7 years ago but you dont mind, its how this place works.

It doesn't matter how often you post. You won't lose priority on people's dashboards if you don't make your daily art post. What matters is that you just make the post.

Each post you make is like sending out a bucket of chum into the grand ocean of tumblr. The more buckets of chum you have, the more likely you are to attract fish. The more you post the larger your radius is. The more variety you make in spreading out to different fandoms the wider your range is. And these spots of chum don't go away! They're permanent brown spots in a big blue wasteland and fish will stumble across it and then try to find the source.

Basically, you can disappear for an entire month and then suddenly return out of nowhere and shove 57 posts into a week and then disappear again and people will show up and stick around.

THis post is getting really long and there are probably some things im missing but my hadns are getting achy and i think that's my call to stop :p

if you have anymore questions tho im very willing to answer 👍

#asks #long post #nofandom

[lifeascaty]

I've been away from tumblr for a few months. In October 2021, my Dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 neuroendocrine pancreatic cancer. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. He already followed me on tumblr, so I filled my feed with things he would like so he had something new and interesting (or a cute cat) to see every day. (I was already posting a lot for him, but now my queue was entirely for him.) It was a small thing, but I wanted to do anything to help make him smile or distract him. As it was a neuroendocrine cancer, there were treatment options, and soon he was back to living life as if nothing was wrong. But I still kept my queue running for him. In November 2023, a scan was misread. They told my Dad his cancer was responding well to treatment, and he wouldn't need any more nuclear medicine for two years. Unfortunately, this mistake meant my Dad passed away on January 26th 2024. There's no question that this is the worst thing to ever happen to me. My Dad is the person I am/was closest to in the whole world. I've never felt pain like this. I don't know what to do with my tumblr now. I've had it for over a decade, but I've been posting for my Dad for so long that it feels wrong to post without him. I know that's silly. I just miss him so much.

I'm going to post the eulogy I wrote for him below the cut. I don't expect anyone to read it, but I want it to exist somewhere online. I'm really proud of it. It has mistakes - repetitions of words etc. - but I also think it's the best thing I've ever written, because it's about my Dad.

As a professional writer, I’ve felt a lot of pressure to write a eulogy that does my Dad justice. The problem is, I don’t think that’s possible. Especially without him here to give me notes. My Dad has always given me his opinion on my writing at whatever stage it was at, bouncing ideas back and forth with me and arguing over intricate punctuation but, on this occasion, he can’t. I hope he’d like this anyway.

I could talk forever about my Dad. There are so many things I want to tell people about him, about his love and excitement for the world and his joy in getting to live each day. To quote Marcus Aurelius, as my Dad often did, “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” This sentiment defined him, really.

My Dad and I have so much in common. We traded books back and forth. He introduced me to his favourite shows and I showed him mine. He showed me his favourite movies from when he was growing up, and we were always first in line to see new releases at the Odeon in Wrexham. I would spend hours hanging out on the couch in his study as he worked and played music, talking me through his love and admiration of various songs and bands, like Led Zeppelin, Genesis, The Jam, The Smiths. We talked a mile a minute over dinner, always excited to share whatever new thing we’d learned that day. We experimented with various recipes and he gave me my love of cooking. We debated politics constantly, always talked about what was in the news, forwarded interesting posts and memes to each other across multiple social media platforms. Even when I lived on another continent we were in contact with each other every day, keeping track of our respective timezones so we could always find time to talk.

My heart aches every time I read a news article about some interesting new archaeological finding or a new discovery in space, because I want to share it with him. There are so many movies we planned to see, upcoming TV shows we wanted to watch, books we were waiting to be released.

I want to talk to him about the new Taylor Swift album and the Grammys she just won. As some of you may know, my Dad was a Swiftie – he was in the top 0.5% of Taylor Swift Spotify listeners last year. He was a fan of her before I was, often falling asleep to her 1989 album on international flights. He bought us tickets to see her Eras Tour together this summer and we were so excited. I can’t describe the pain I felt when last month he told me that I’d have to go and enjoy it without him. Because he should be here to see it with me. He loved stained glass – even taking classes and making his own artwork. He promised to teach me this summer, and now I’ll have to do it without him. But I’ll still do it. Like I’ll still go to the Eras concert – because it’s what he would have wanted, and because it keeps his memory alive.

I recognise how lucky I am that he is my Dad. So many things had to happen to make it so. Various ancestors had to meet and have children. My parents needed to be born, needed to both decide to go to the same university, needed some anonymous admin person to assign them both to the same university halls where they would ultimately meet. All so that one day I would come in to being and he would be my Dad. The chances of that happening, for everything to have gone right, are so infinitesimally small. And yet they happened. How miraculous is that?

I am who I am because of him. As a young man, he reviewed books for The Oxford Times and Interzone, a Sci-Fi and Fantasy magazine. (He was particularly proud to interview Terry Pratchett, his favourite author, and have his quote used on Pratchett’s books for years to come). He fell in love with stories and storytelling, a love that he passed down to me. Without him, I don’t know if I would have become a screenwriter and author. Storytelling is such a huge part of me, and I don’t know who I’d be without it, and without him. 

There are so many big, impressive things that my Dad did and achieved through his lifetime, but the things that make up a life are the smaller moments. My parents dancing around his study to God Only Knows by The Beach Boys. His love of all our cats across the years and his special relationship with each of them. The time we went out into the garden, on a freezing cold night in November, to watch the Leonids – shooting stars – falling brightly through the atmosphere. Picking me up from Gobowen station every time I came back from London or undergrad, no matter how late my train was. His specific way of stacking the dishwasher that only I could emulate. Summer holidays swimming in the pool, eating ice cream together, and marvelling over his tan.

The problem with loving my Dad so much is that it’s incredibly painful now he’s gone. One of his favourite Marvel TV shows, Wandavision, had the line “what is grief, if not love persevering?” There is so much grief because there has always been so much love between us. And I am thankful for that. Thankful for him, and everything he has done to build a beautiful life for our family.

My Dad’s last words were beautiful. Something we often said to each other, from childhood to adulthood, was “I love you more than the moon, and the stars, and the wide, wide world”. I started saying it to him, none of us knowing the end was hurtling so quickly towards us. He smiled as I began to say the familiar words, and as my Mum and brother joined in, so did he, still smiling as he said “and the wide, wide world”. And that was it.

'To reference Marcus Aurelius once more, he talks in Meditations about how just a day–just a minute–of happiness, of perfection, of peace, is enough. The same goes for the people we love. That we ever had my Dad in the first place is a wonderful thing, something to be so grateful for. Whatever comes after, whatever fortune has in store for us in the future? It can’t change that. What happens next matters less because of the wonderfulness of having had my Dad at all.'

He is my best friend. He will always be my best friend. Whatever happened, I knew he would look after me. That he loved me and cared for me and that with him I was safe. He would look after our family, always. And he did. Even now we’re discovering things he did and put in place to make sure we were okay.

I know I need to stop talking, although, as I said at the beginning, I could talk forever about my Dad. I will finish with a quote from Terry Pratchett: “No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away.” Hopefully my Dad will live forever.

#eulogy

[hashtagloveloses]

hey there klaudia. I have one of those questions that's sort of googleable but also sort of hard to google because really I just want someone's opinion, and as I did get your anti-doomscroller emails, and vaguely recall you did/do some sort of media or journalism thing, and I've been following you since idk the dawn of time or 2016, somewhere in there, so you're sort of someone I know, I thought I'd ask you. Anyway. I do not read the news. I need this to change. I know I should read (not watch, I simply cannot) the news regularly. Specifically for my life I need to know about international politics, wars and the threat thereof and such, but knowing about US domestic stuff is also good. And I need to not get my information from destiel screencaps/my mother worriedly explaining her Fox News misinformation to me. genuinely somehow I am an adult now and I don't know where to do this. I used to get the NYT daily email for a few years but idk I've heard so much against the NYT now I'm not sure I can go subscribe to them. is there any chance you've got a source to recommend? a newspaper or journal? I just get so hung up on where to get my information I can't even start. I know that in theory I would read critically and can compare whatever it is I do read regularly against other sources. But it's just hard to find a starting point so. anyway if you have one I'd appreciate it. If not no worries, as I said this should be googleable I'm just overwhelmed. you just seem like a good person to ask but for all I know I'm way off base there lol, sorry I've followed you a long time but I know like two facts about you, you're just a cool and consistent feature of my dash to me.

whew this is a complicated question but you're going in the right direction (not watching televised news and staying the FUCK away from the NYT are a good start). my best advice, is to get to know local papers/magazines near you. they may be owned by a larger corporate parent (hence the dwindling of alt weeklies and independent sources), but if you follow them on each of your preferred social media (or if they have a newsletter, or an RSS feed or apple news or something you can do that too), they should cover both aggregated world/national news and local news. also look at your local public radio station - public radio, like the entire nonprofit industrial complex, has its own issues as well, but it's another good place to start.

the other best place to start is the library. your library should have electronic resources (aka access to press reader apps and such) that allow you to look at the latest articles and magazine editions, etc for free. you can get a feel for what news sources you like and don't like that way. any library system usually has a large selection, both electronically, and in person (and a lot of them subscribe to the same apps).

the way to make this sustainable is that as you browse, if there are articles (or if its radio, reported stories) that you particularly enjoy, IE: they were rigorous and thorough, had credible sources, did good service journalism, etc, find that journalist/producer and follow their social media. most journalists, regrettably, are on twitter, some have 0 social media presence, and many have their own newsletters. since journalism is a sketchy industry rn, following the reporters and producers themselves is a good way to keep trusted professionals in your feeds rather than the news brands that exploit them.

another thing to keep in mind - make sure you aren't just consuming US news sources. yes, it is harder to know what is credible for cultures that are not your own, but US-based (and in general Western based) large news sources really do not cover international shit well unless there are reporters with very specific beats (and even then they may come with their own cultural issues). there are also a lot of major news sources that just aggregate from the newswires (the AP, Reuters, etc), and sometimes I don't love them either. be vigilant when looking for international news.

all this being said, don't stress yourself out over this. it took a career in journalism (that i'm now thankfully out of), too much time on twitter, a degree in political communication, and lots and LOTS of unlearning for me to find sources I trust and build feeds. but even now it can be hard. and no, this is not easily google-able on purpose, bc google is now just made of who has the most money to pay them for ads and an expert in SEO to get higher ranking.

my biggest advice is to build SKILLS for yourself. learn to recognize biases that major outlets might have (if a news source just wholesale quotes cops or "authorities" only, if they scaremonger about China, if they have an opinion section full of questionable takes for clicks). learn to spot clickbait and rage bait, question how data is presented, etc.

also while i do think supporting independent journalism is good, major outlets like the NYT or corporate owned shit do not need your help, despite all the pleas they put on their websites. get an adblocker (on desktop, ublock origin, on mobile iOS the free versions of Disconnect's apps are great - if a website on either isnt working properly just turn it off and refresh, then turn it back on), because the ads in news articles are ATROCIOUS. get a paywall bypass extension (i use Bypass Paywalls Clean which has versions for every browser, and on iOS i use this shortcut), because you should never have to even make a free account and give these fuckers your email either.

i hope this helps at all!!!!

#advice #ask

[hypergamiss]

how do you get over thinking that your dreams are unrealistic? And starting things halfway but never finishing due to insecurity/self sabotage? I’ve had a desire to live in Russia since I was a kid and saw the st. Basils cathedral, and I have been learning Russian on and off but recently I’ve started to get serious. I’ve been researching about foreigners living in Russia and everything I learned has been great so far. I know what my passion is, I love writing, about anything really, politics, history, pop culture, etc. I am lucky that I’ve found my passion and talent already, but I worry my dreams are “too big”. I did research on my dream job, working at Russia Today in Moscow, they said they’re looking for someone w a passion for writing, international news, and to make social media/documentary content. Aka me in a nutshell. I want to continue to write a blog on substack, (started but barely post) and create a podcast to interview ppl on, go back to making infographics on instagram (I have about 4k followers rn but I haven’t posted in a year due to dumb insecurities) and also continue to finish the documentaries I started making. A lot of my issues stem from self sabotage, and issues w self worth/esteem. The internet is genuinely a great place to grow, and build yourself, learn sm languages, and great opportunities, but my self esteem issues are holding me back. I feel like I’m not worthy of these things, probably due to how I was treated in childhood (interests being made fun of, emotional abuse, etc.) I want to get over it however, I’m a grown adult now. I have everything I need in front of me, but I can’t seem to do anything ): please help.

First off, Russia since childhood and a passion for writing – that's not unrealistic, that's AWESOME. You've done your research, you know what your dream job looks like, and you even have a social media following ready to go. You're further ahead than most people who only have vague notions of what they want.

Now, about that inner critic: Childhood crap leaves scars and that voice telling you you're not worthy? It's lying to you. You're a grown-up now, and you get to rewrite the script. That starts with small steps:

Just ONE thing: Pick ONE project to finish – your blog, those documentaries, whatever calls to you most. Don't overwhelm yourself.

Tiny Commitments: Not "finish the blog," but "write for 15 minutes today." Small wins build confidence and you're finished before you know it!

Your Inner Cheerleader: Every time the negative voices start, counter with ONE positive statement about yourself. Sounds cheesy, but it retrains your brain.

Here's the thing: You're not alone! Self-sabotage is a beast, but there are tons of resources online. Look up stuff on limiting beliefs, and imposter syndrome – it'll help you understand that voice in your head isn't the real you. If you can get a therapist to help you work even further through everything I highly recommend it!

It's a journey, not a sprint. Some days you'll rock it, others you might stumble. That's okay! Progress matters more than perfection. Think of those documentaries you want to make. This journey of overcoming your insecurities and building your dream life? That's a story worth telling, and guess what – YOU are the main character. Now go write your next chapter!

[kiefbowl]

Hi, so I’ve read your posts where you’ve given tips on how to be successful during an interview. And I was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to get a raise at my current job? I’ve been there for 2 and 1/2 years, I’ve doubled the amount of projects that I’ve been assigned to (started off with 3, now 6 projects and helping with 2 other programs as well) but I’ve never gotten more than a 2% raise over the last two years and that’s mandated by the university. When I’ve asked about moving up to a higher role, I’ve been told to be patient. But… I don’t think I can be patient anymore… and I found out that 2 people who’ve been there less than a year are getting a possible 10-20k jump in their salary. I’m going crazy, and I need some help if you have any guidance :(

Working at a university I think might be a little different than out in retail or in a corporate job, but some of this advice might apply. I'm just thinking of my university, which was public and got government grants, and I don't really understand all that beyond that, so there might be some stipulations about how to pay workers. In any case, I think this is a great question and hopefully it can help you and others out.

When asking for a raise, you are asking to enter a negotiation, which to be the aggressor can have some upside. You basically get to start the conversation by stating plainly what you want, and what you're willing to do to get it, and what you'll do if you don't get it. The finesse is making sure you're arguing for things that align for the person who holds what you want. You can imagine that if you go to your boss and say "I want 100K more a year, I want to do nothing about it, and if you don't give it to me I'll set my house on fire" they'll just be like "uhm, what does this have to do with me." Find the common ground between your interests, and theirs.

It's well understood by people who hire and manage people that hiring is more expensive than retaining talent, so the big token you have in your court is that you'll leave. The rub is of course people don't know how to leverage this, because in their heart it's an empty threat. Finding another job can be hard, and you don't want to put yourself in a situation where you're trading down because you didn't get what you want at one job so you took a different, suckier job. So, you have to harden your heart, and make sure when you talk about it, it's not an empty threat. One way to do this is to have a job offer already, which means patience as you job hunt. Another way to do this is to be confident that you could get a better job, and not be specific when you'll leave, but signal to them you will when you can. "I know my skill set is valuable" can be said in very casual, polite, professional, and pointed way to get your meaning across. Now that confidence shouldn't come from pure delusion (which, it doesn't have to, most people have things they're good at and are valuable!), but you do have to sit down and have a good think. What are your transferable skills and what are your billable skills, in tangible specific ways. "I'm good at customer service" is not specific, anyone can learn that - "I resolve my tickets within SLA 90% of the time" is specific. "I know how to write" is not specific, that could mean anything - "I've been creating and updating our knowledge base articles" is specific. "I work in marketing" is not specific, that just says where you work - "I designed the 2022 social media campaign that brought in 2% more business" is specific. Now, maybe these examples don't relate to what you do or sound a higher level of work that you do, but don't be discouraged, this is just creative framing. A social media intern could make a couple tik toks and do that last one, hopefully they have the insight to the data to make the claim that it increased business. The creative framing comes from understanding what your job wants from you. What is it doing? What does it make? What does it supply? How does it make revenue? For a university, I'm not sure how much it's tied into direct revenue for itself, depending on your department, but it does ultimately fit into the infrastructure of how the university makes revenue, so think about what your department is supplying to the university.

If you help manage an onslaught of freshman ding dongs who don't know their ass from their head (said affectionately) who barge in with complaints and questions, you handle "intake" so that your uppers in your department can focus on other efficiencies. If you serve food at a food court, your speed and efficiency equals faster lines which equals faster turn over which equals more students which equals more money (just like any restaurant). Any industry, anywhere in the hierarchy, a worker can frame what they do in these kinds of terms to make negotiation easier and really point blank: please give me x amount more, if you don't you lose abc from me because I will leave. I'm willing to wait y months/train a replacement/work more hours/work fewer hours/nothing more because I deserve this because I know so-and-so and what's his name over there make that much and I do the same job/etc.

Good luck! :)