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wheels-of-despair · 11 months

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The First and Last Breakup of Eddie Munson and Evil Woman Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: Once upon a time, two stupid teenagers fell in love. And then they broke up for a stupid reason and spent a whole week doing stupid things because they're stupid teenagers. Contains: A little Evil Woman backstory, a brotherly reveal, misery, idiots in love but being little bitches about it, a happy ending. Words: 5k

SATURDAY

You'd been at some fancy ski resort in Colorado with your father, his shiny new wife, and their two replacement children for seven days.

It felt like seven years.

You only had two precious weeks of winter break before classes switched over for the spring semester, and you'd wasted half of it with people you hated. (And your brother, who hated them just as much as you did.)

But after seven long days of listening to your father's fake laugh, your step-mother's snippy comments, wishing you could drop-kick her brats through a window, and picking tiny trees off your overpriced and underwhelming food, you were almost back home. You didn't typically care for plane rides, but this one wasn't bad at all. When you landed, you'd have someone waiting for you. (Other than your mother. Who you also loved. And were very excited to see.)

You were a little disappointed when you came through the terminal and didn't see him there. You'd kind of hoped he'd hitch a ride with your mom to maximize your remaining Eddie Time over break. But you recovered quickly, gave your mom a big smile and a hug, and called shotgun. (Suck it, bro. The united front only applies in hostile territory.)

You took turns filling her in on how much it sucked, how dumb your step-monster was, and how annoying her brats were.

He wasn't waiting for you at home, either.

"Have you heard from Eddie at all?" you asked as you dumped a pile of dirty clothes in the laundry room.

"Nope," your mom answers, sorting the lights from the darks. "Then again, I'm not really in contact with any teenagers who don't belong to me."

You glance at your watch. "His uncle's probably sleeping now, maybe I should ride over and see…"

"Go on, be back by dinner," she rolls her eyes. "You can bring Eddie with you if you want. I'm making your favorite."

"I should abandon you more often," you joke, dodging a dirty sock she'd tossed at you on your way out.

Eddie's van wasn't at the trailer. Or the arcade. Or the diner. Or any of his favorite places. You drove around town for what felt like half the day before finally giving up and going home.

"Find him?" your mom asks from her place at the stove. You shake your head. "Maybe he got the day wrong?"

"Maybe," you shrug, leaning against the door helplessly.

"Who knows what that little weirdo gets up to when you're not around to keep him in line. You'll find him. For now, why don't you go wake your brother up for dinner?"

You dropped the keys in the bowl by the door and went to do as you were asked. He'd passed out almost immediately after he walked in, happy to be back in his own bed. You envied him.

Dinner was nice. It would've been a lot nicer if your thigh had been pressed against Eddie's, and the scent of his body wash had mixed with the smell of your first decent meal in a week, but it was still nice to be home.

You called him after you knew Wayne would be at work. Three times. No answer. Where the hell is he?

You tossed and turned all night, imagining the worst.

SUNDAY

The next morning, you returned to the trailer. His van was there this time. You knocked on the door next to his bedroom. And then escalated it to a bang, since Wayne wasn't home yet, and Eddie sleeps like a rock.

"Eddie! Wake up!"

Finally, you hear him shuffling around. The door opens a crack.

"Honey, I'm home!" you grin, waiting for him to open the door and pull you in, maybe even kiss you all the way to his bed before pulling you under the covers to warm you up. There was nowhere you'd rather spend the rest of your vacation.

"Hey," he mumbles. "Hang on."

He closes the door in your surprised face and emerges a minute later, wearing an open coat over his bare chest. He'd shoved his feet into a pair of untied boots. His flannel pajama pants are bunched at the top of them. Isn't he cold? He drops onto the sofa on the porch and lights a cigarette.

The coldness of his actions hurts worse than the frigid winter air. What the hell? You've only been gone a week. Had seven days been long enough for him to decide he was happier without you?

"What are you doing here?" he asks, blowing smoke out of his nose and not meeting your eye. Did you do something wrong?

"I wanted to see you," you squeaked, suddenly feeling like an idiot. Are you being too clingy? Did you break up and forget about it?

"Aren't you sick of slummin' it with me?"

"What?" You're not sure you actually made a sound, but the cloud of condensation coming from your mouth indicates that you did.

"You know what I mean."

You shake your head. You don't know where this is headed, but you know you don't like it.

Eddie takes a deep drag. "How long are we gonna keep playing this game?"

"What game?"

"This. You and me."

You have no words.

"We should just get this over with and call it off now."

Your jaw drops.

"Ed…"

"Just go home," he barks, dropping his cigarette into the bucket he uses as an ash tray and going back inside, slamming the door behind him.

You don't know how long you stood there, staring at the door. But eventually, a chill shakes you, and you feel your body drifting back toward the car. You somehow find your way back home. You don't think you blinked during the entire drive.

You drop the keys in the bowl, kick off your shoes, and walk to your room like a zombie. You fall on your bed face-first, not even bothering to take your coat off. And then the crying starts.

MONDAY

That was harder than he thought it would be.

Eddie had thought things were going well. He'd found a girl who was funny, pretty, had good taste in music and movies, and most of all, was willing to put up with him.

It all began to unravel the night you left. He thought it was a little weird, announcing that you were jetting off to some fancy resort with the parent you hardly ever spoke of, like it was no big deal. You'd hardly mentioned it at all: "Oh, by the way, I'm gonna be gone for a week. You gonna miss me?"

Eddie realized he was running low on goods the day before your departure, but decided to prioritize; his supply run could wait another day. After a long goodbye that earned both of you several groans and eyerolls in your driveway as you held up the trip to the airport, he dropped by Rick's to resupply. Those college kids home for the holidays needed a lot of help putting up with their families. When he arrived, Rick and his friend Jimmy were bagging up a new shipment.

Rick asked where Eddie's other half was. Eddie may have bragged on occasion about finding someone perfect, because Rick was a cool guy who would appreciate a cool girl.

Jimmy, on the other hand, was a dick. Eddie didn't particularly want him to know anything more than he absolutely needed to about his personal life, but Rick had asked, and they both sat there waiting for an answer.

"She's with her dad for a week," he'd said tensely, hoping that would be the end of it.

"He live nearby?" Rick asked.

"New York, but they're in Colorado for now."

"Damn, man, that's a hell of a trip," Rick said, taking a swig of his beer.

"Yeah, she'll be back in a few days. Is that something new?" Eddie gestured to an off-colored bag of buds to Rick's right, trying to change the subject. The phone rang, and Rick got up to answer it with a groan, leaving Eddie alone with Jimmy.

"Munson's gone and got himself one of those little rich girls. Didn't think you had it in you, buddy."

"She's not a little rich girl."

"She's on vacation in Colorado. Lemme guess: Some fancy ski resort with a name you can't pronounce?"

Eddie blushed. Jimmy smirked.

"She treat you like a pet poodle? Feed you? Buy you treats when you're a good boy? Make you pose for a nice picture together so she could take you with her? That's to show daddy, bud. Maybe she'll get a new BMW for dumping your scraggly ass."

"Ease up, brother," Rick drawled, coming back into the room.

"Hey, man, I'm jealous!" Jimmy held his hands up in a gesture of surrender and laughed that grating laugh of his. "She got an older sister? Hell, what's her mom look like?"

"Shut up." Eddie growled.

"Here," Rick shoved a few plastic bags into a duffel bag and tossed it at Eddie. "Don't listen to his drunk ass."

But he did.

He let it eat at him for days as he sampled some new product and fixated on your four months together. Every time you'd argued about who was going to pay for dinner, or for a movie, or for the next arcade game. The way you stroked his hair and rubbed his back. Every time you'd packed something extra in your lunch for him. The patches and buttons you'd bring him back every time you visited the city with your mom. The way you claimed to love his grungy clothes and out-of-control hair and said his tiny, cramped bedroom felt like home. Maybe it really was too good to be true.

Didn't make it hurt any less, though.

TUESDAY

Eddie was woken by a frantic banging on the door. It was so intense, it rattled the walls. He grumbled, pulled himself out of the bed he'd hardly left in days, and flung the door open angrily.

"What the hell, Gareth?"

"What the hell did you do to my sister, Munson?" Eddie could practically feel the heat radiating off of the red-faced drummer standing at his door. Jeff was leaning against his mom's car by the road, arms crossed, looking like he wished he was elsewhere.

Eddie sighs. "It's for the best."

"Did you cheat on her?"

"No."

"Were you abducted and probed by aliens, and now need a little alone time to reflect on life?"

"No."

"Then what the fuck?!"

"We're from different worlds," Eddie shrugs, feeling the cold morning air seep in.

"The fuck does that mean?"

Eddie sighs. "Just let it go, man. It's done."

"The fuck does that mean, Eddie?"

"It means you spent your winter break skiing at some resort in Colorado, and I spent mine selling weed in the woods."

Gareth rolls his eyes so hard, Eddie can only see white.

"Is that seriously what this is about?"

Eddie shrugs and wishes he were wearing more clothes.

"You broke up with my sister because she went on vacation?"

The breeze picks up and blows a gust inside. Eddie shudders.

"Are you the dumbest motherfucker on the planet?"

Eddie didn't know how to respond to this. Not that Gareth would have given him a chance anyway.

"Do you think we wanted to go? Our dad is a Grade-A Douchebag. I'm legally required to spend two weeks with him a year. Yeah, legally - he took Mom to court when we decided we didn't want to see him anymore. Awesome parent, right? My sister doesn't even have to go, because she's 18, but she does because she doesn't want me to suffer alone. We hate his fucking guts. We hate his bitchy wife and their snot-nosed kids, we hate every second we have to spend with them. We weren't off skiing and sipping cocoa with Chad and Buffy! Do you know what she did the entire fucking time we weren't being forced into Family Fun Time and photo ops? DO YOU?"

Eddie shakes his head.

"She laid in bed and read The Lord of the Fucking Rings. I've been trying to get her to read them for years, and she always puts it off. But she knows how much you love them, and she wanted to be able to talk to you about it. She laid there and read all three. Took notes like she was gonna be fucking tested on it! FOR YOU, JACKASS."

Eddie's heart sinks into the floor.

"She doesn't give a shit about money or fancy vacations or any of that crap. All she wanted was to come home and be with you, and you fucked that up."

"Shit," Eddie breathes.

"She's been holed up in her room for two days because she thinks you left her for someone else, you idiot. I had to practically waterboard her to get her to talk."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you need to be saying that to."

"I know," he whispers with the last of his air, feeling like a deflated balloon.

"Then go fucking do it already. She's at home. In bed. Listening to the same fucking song over and over again. If I have to hear it one more time, I swear to God, I'm going to take the tape, stomp it, and feed you the shards. FIX IT."

Gareth turns and stomps off the porch. Jeff shoots Eddie an apologetic look and gets back in the car. He stands there and watches them drive away.

Maybe Eddie Munson really is the dumbest motherfucker on the planet.

* * * * * * *

A knock on your door pulls you out of your trance. You'd woken up early today, on your last day of winter break, and decided to quit moping and do something productive. So you alphabetized everything that could be alphabetized. Your tapes and records were finally in order - you'd even rediscovered some albums you'd forgotten you owned, which was nice, because you were sick of hearing Eddie in everything. You now sat in your bedroom floor, surrounded by all the books you'd pulled off your shelf.

"What."

"Eddie's here," came the muffled voice of your brother. He'd stayed at Jeff's the night before; you hadn't even realized he was home yet.

"I don't care," you lied.

You can hear him sigh through the door.

"He brought flowers."

"I hate flowers."

You hear a thump on the door, as if Gareth has banged his head against it.

"I'm letting him in. Just listen to him. You're both making me fuckin' miserable."

You bristle, but lean over and press stop on your tape player. Might as well get this over with.

"Hey, uh… you gonna let me in?"

You glare at the closed door, hoping he can sense it.

"Okay. I'll stay out here. I, uh… Look, I don't know what I'm doing here. You know that. You're the only one I ever… I thought you were… whatever. Doesn't matter. I'm sorry."

A few days ago, you might've taken pity on him. Opened the door, fallen into his arms, shed a few tears.

But you're out of tears. You'd let that unfortunate interaction fester like an open wound. You'd spent the last few days going over every possible scenario for the sudden change in the boy you thought you loved. It hadn't occurred to you until day two that maybe he'd come outside for his little speech because there was someone else inside. Why else would he come out into that cold December morning in his pajamas to smoke half a cigarette and dump the old ball and chain?

And this is the apology you get? You wasted the last of your winter break crying over this asshole. He dumped you. And he can't even tell you why? You reach over to your tape player, press play, and turn up the volume. Immature? Maybe. Better than opening the door and ripping him to shreds, or worse, taking one look at those big brown eyes and collapsing in his arms like some weak Victorian damsel? Probably.

Eddie eventually walks out without a word, leaving the supermarket flowers on the kitchen table.

WEDNESDAY

The first day back was always an easy one; figure out where you're going, receive a pile of papers warning you of the work to come, try to plan the best route to each class. Although for you, that route would now be the most efficient; not the one that would allow you to steal a few seconds here and there with Eddie Fucking Munson.

Of course you had first period together.

You sat as far away from him as you possibly could; he was sitting in the back left corner. You took the front right. Close to the teacher's desk. You were here to learn, after all.

A pretty-boy wearing a Cubs jacket asked if the seat next to you was taken. You smiled and gestured for him to sit. Cubs Guy made small-talk about the workload, and you smiled at him like his stupid comments were amusing to you… all the while, hoping Eddie was watching. You refused to turn around and check.

You finally caught a glimpse of him after the bell rang. Some little blonde had taken the seat next to him. He was talking and gesturing to her with a big dumb smile on his face. You wanted to smack it off.

You said "excuse me" to Cubs Guy as sweetly as you could before sliding past him and practically running into the hallway to get away from them.

Your next class was uneventful… but you saw him in the hall after third period. Standing at a locker that wasn't his. With the tiny blonde who'd sat next to him that morning. Was that her? Was that the one he left alone in his bed while he took a few minutes to come ditch the old bag?

And then he looked up and caught your eye. You stood there, frozen, screaming inside… and watched that smirking motherfucker reach forward and flick one of that tiny cunt's dangly earrings. You could practically hear her giggle from the other end of the hallway. You wanted to rip her earrings out and pierce his balls with them.

Instead, you ducked into the nearest bathroom to let some angry tears fall.

* * * * * * *

He knew it was an asshole thing to do. But in his defense, you started it.

He knew the new girl would never speak to him again as soon as the first popular kid noticed her and pulled her into their own clique. They'd warn her away from trash like him - just like they tried to with you - but he suspected that this one would fall for it.

But for now, cute little Kimmy didn't know any better. Didn't know what her classmates thought of him and his Satanic hobbies, where he lived, what was in his lunchbox, how much he loved the girl who spent first period chatting animatedly with some douchebag in the front row and refusing to look at him.

So he offered his services. Told her how to get to each class. Met her at her locker with the promise of escorting her to lunch, where he was sure he'd lose her to the first jock who decided to rescue her from the clutches of the freak.

That's when he made eye contact with the one who mattered.

You were standing in the middle of the hall, completely still. The crowd parted and flowed around you like water. You were finally looking at him. It was the first time he'd looked into your eyes since the day you left for Colorado.

Before he knew what he was doing, he reached down to the bubbly little blonde in front of him and gave her dangly plastic earring a playful flick, never breaking eye contact with you. He wasn't sure exactly why. Payback for first period, maybe? Would it make you jealous? Mad enough to stomp over and yell at him? Hit him? Cram him into Kimmy's open locker? He'd take anything at this point.

But you turned on your heel and disappeared into the crowd.

Shit.

THURSDAY

"Hi!" Cubs Guy greets as he plops down on the low brick wall next to you. You can't stand eating in the cafeteria anymore. Where he is. You'd rather brave the cold and eat outside.

"Hi?"

"I'm Paul. From first and third?"

"Hi, Paul from first and third." He smiles. Why are his teeth so white?

"I thought you looked lonely, so I decided to drop in and say hi. How are you today?"

"I'm fine," you lied, faking a smile. "Thanks for checking on me." You can leave now.

"You used to hang out with Munson, right?"

"Yeah," you murmured.

"Finally realized how annoying he is, huh?"

You faked another smile and contemplated sticking your plastic fork in his eye.

"Have you started The Great Gatsby yet?" he asked.

"Just a few pages. The 20s aren't really my thing."

"Mine, either. Outlawing alcohol during the rise of jazz? That's just cruel!" He grins, and you're surprised to find a genuine laugh bubble from your throat. How long has it been since you actually laughed?

You spent the rest of your lunch period chatting about the reading list, your other classes, and what you did over winter break. It was surprisingly not terrible.

"Listen, are you seeing anyone right now?" he asked.

As if on cue, Eddie and Grant walk through the doors closest to you. You turn your head toward Paul and focus on him before you accidentally make eye contact with Eddie.

"Nope, why do you ask?"

Paul dazzles you with that brilliant smile again. "Would you like to go out with me tomorrow night? You look like you could use a night on the town."

You can see Eddie out of the corner of your eye. He's still by the door, watching. Grant shifts awkwardly. "I'd love to!" you chirp. You doubt Eddie knows what you're agreeing to, but you hope he catches the enthusiasm on your face. Even if it's fake.

"Awesome! How about dinner and a movie!"

"That sounds great!"

You glance toward Eddie, but he's gone. You see Grant retreat into the door they just came out of before it

You hate yourself.

* * * * * * *

Well, Eddie was right about one thing: Kimmy was history. The cheerleaders had swallowed her up the second she stepped into the cafeteria yesterday. Now she sat on the edge of her seat in first period, as if the guy who told her how to get to the gym and the trick to getting her locker open would snatch her up and throw her on an altar the second the teacher turned her back.

But he was used to that.

It was you ignoring him that hurt.

He thought maybe his little earring stunt would make you mad enough to threaten him. Attention is attention. But you hadn't even looked at him since. You sat next to that dickhead whose name he didn't even know - did you know it? - and quietly took notes. Were you just copying the board, or were you writing to whatshisface like you used to with Eddie? The thought nearly broke him.

But what he saw at lunch really did.

He didn't know where you were; only that you weren't sitting next to him. He ate quietly for a change, letting Jeff steer today's discussion toward some horror novel he was reading. He didn't have the energy for a rant or a lecture or even a pointed taunt. He let the conversation carry on like he wasn't even there. At least it was probably easier on Gareth this way, who reluctantly remained at the Hellfire table.

Eddie got up and headed to the van for a midday smoke. Grant followed. He wasn't sure why. Does he look so bad that they're afraid to leave him alone? They walked through the hall silently.

When he came through the doors, he saw you sitting on the brick wall with that asshole from first period. Alone. Smiling. Together. "I'd love to!" you chirped at the meathead. Eddie doesn't hear his response, but your words echo in his head. Did you just agree to a date? With someone else?

He storms back the way he came, not seeing anything but the blur of fluorescent lighting through the tears trying not to fall.

FRIDAY

Part of you felt bad about agreeing to a date just to spite Eddie.

The other part decided to put on makeup and wear some of the clothes your father and step-monster had bought for you, since Eddie would be there for band practice when Paul picked you up. ("No children of mine are going to run around here looking like ragamuffins!") Poor Gareth, being the new guy, couldn't exactly call off practice on account of relationship drama.

Your brother takes one look at you and rolls his eyes. "Really?" You shrug, and he goes out to the garage to wait for the rest of the guys.

Now the feel-bad part is in the lead.

But there's no time to change now. You look at your watch, grab your purse, and go to wait by the front door. Most people approach your house from the front for the first time, before they learn that you typically use the back door by the garage to come in and out. But while you're watching the front, Gareth yells your name through the back. "Your date just pulled up."

Fuck.

You clack through the house in your stupid heels, feeling like a kid playing dress-up. This is stupid. This is so fucking stupid.

When you get to the back door, you take a deep breath before opening it. You need to appear cool, collected, and uncaring that you're going to have to walk right past Eddie.

"Hi!" Paul greets again, just a few feet away from the door.

"Hi," you smile. Paul's a nice guy. You're going out with him because you want to. Not to hurt the person you actually care about. Like he hurt you.

"Ready?" he asks, offering his hand to help you down the lone step. You force a smile and take it, but let it go as you walk past the garage together.

"Have her back by ten, or she'll turn into a pumpkin!" Gareth yells.

"That's your little brother?" he asks quietly. You nod. "Gotcha, chief!"

You wish you were dead.

On the street, Paul opens the door of his shiny new car and waits for you to settle in before he closes it.

He jogs to the other side, slides in, and starts the engine. A pop song is playing on the radio. The car's interior is spotless. Not a single candy wrapper or empty drink cup is in the floorboard. No overflowing ashtray. No personality whatsoever. You smile at Paul and reach for the seatbelt, but your eyes linger on the open garage in the sideview mirror.

The boys are watching Eddie. Eddie is watching you.

You're vaguely aware that your date is yammering on about something as he puts his car in gear. Your eyes were locked on Eddie. Paul pulls away from the curb and eases his car down the street at a sensible pace. Eddie begins to shrink in the mirror, and you feel your heart shrinking with him.

Is this really how it ends?

No more listening to him curse as he tries to learn new songs, or playing with his hair while you watch movies, or sharing milkshakes at the diner, or writing notes in class, or browsing the discount bins for new music, or making plans to do nothing together whenever your schedules allowed. You knew you should be paying attention to the guy you were on a date with, but your only thought was Eddie. The boy who didn't want you anymore. Give it up, girl. He's moved on.

And then, you saw it.

He reached up with the hand that wasn't gripping the neck of his guitar to swipe at his eyes.

"Stop."

"What?"

"Stop the car."

"Did you forget something?" Paul asks, still moving.

"Just stop!"

He slams on the breaks and looks at you like you're crazy.

"I'm sorry. I can't do this." You grip your purse in your left hand as you fumble for the door handle with your right, unable to take your eyes off the metalhead in the mirror.

"Are you seriously ditching me for that fr--" The door slams before he can finish his sentence.

You walk back down the street and toward your open garage as quickly as your stupid heels will allow. He stands and stares until you reach the end of your driveway. Your eyes are locked on his; he's all you see.

He tries to pull off the guitar that's been hanging idly during your staring match, but the strap gets caught in his hair. Jeff helps him out of it, and holds it while Eddie walks toward you. First in a daze, and then with purpose.

When he picks up his pace, your tears begin to fall. You're sobbing by the time you're in his arms again. And so is he.

There's a flurry of choked 'I'm sorry's and 'I love you's. Your lips meet in a wet, frenzied kiss. Your hands tangle in his hair. His arms squeeze you tight. You've got your Eddie back. Nothing else matters.

When you finally pull away, you wipe your eyes on the back of your hands and look at the black smudge they left behind. You look up at Eddie bashfully.

"Bet I look gorgeous right now," you joke.

"You do," he says, tucking your hair behind your ear with a smile. "You know how much I love raccoons."

"Shut up," you laugh, giving him a gentle shove. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you to him again. After a moment of holding each other tightly, you reach up to cup his face. You bring him down for another kiss, then rest your foreheads against each other.

"Don't ever leave me again," you whisper.

"I won't."

#writings of despair #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #spoiler alert: he didn't.

164 notes · View notes

lawlietscaramels · 4 months

Note

It looks like asks are turned on! Can I request writing or, like, headcanons about how the death note characters laugh? I mean obvs there’s Kira’s silly evil laugh but what about pre-Kira light and L?

-🎲

Laugh a Little Louder ╾ Cast

AAA so asks here work!! yes. yesyeysyeye though the Wammy's kids may be ooc. See my various chats and notes for reason why but without further ado, here come the laughs!

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

L Lawliet 🍰

first off, he doesn't laugh very often.

memes? nothing. jokes? nothing. sarcasm? nothing. This doesn't mean he doesn't find any of these funny, he just doesn't have the urge to actually laugh.

but Light falling down the Task Force stairs? YES.

L finds other things funny too but there's just... something special about watching Light mess up...

if he's around people he trusts he's likely to laugh more, at super not funny things especially. for example, bad puns, horribly edited memes or videos, and dark jokes are high on the list. (I may or may not also find these things very funny)

anyway that got into when he laughs. as for HOW he laughs: it varies depending on how funny something is.

Mildly amusing? Dry chuckle. almost sounds like a cough or the engine of a car if that makes sense. sometimes he will say (with no change in tone whatsoever), "haha. that was quite amusing."

Hilarious? the man is cackling and wheezing.

high pitched, like a hyena...

Light Yagami 🖊️

you guys might hate me but

Light is a GIGGLER!!!

this kind of embarrasses him so he can usually make it sound more like a chuckle, this is also how he does fake-laughs when he's Kira and wants to hide the crazy-laughs.

I think he'd find animals and cute stuff worth a little laugh just because it's amusing and they bring joy to his life

that said I think Kira version of Light wouldn't laugh as much. He's under a lot of stress, he doesn't see the joy in life any more. Light is just there to fulfil his mission, to cleanse the world of evil, and he's so dedicated to this cause that he doesn't find time to appreciate the good that already exists in this world

damn that got sad for a post about laughter

uhhh anyway other people laughing inevitably sets Light off too, even as Kira he struggles not to laugh when L or Matsuda does. Misa's laughs, not so much of a problem. They just concern him...

Misa Amane 💝

hold on this is kind of hard actually...

you know what, I think she'd make other noises instead of actual "laughs."

such as squeaking, squawking, honking, all those funny words used to describe people who laugh but don't really laugh. shakes her head and sighs a lot at dad jokes but she secretly loooves them.

if she actually laughs it will be hahahahahhahaa-gasp-hahahhahahaha where it gradually gets higher pitched and the sound stops and she's just breathing in a squeaky manner. Misa will also start waving her body and arms back and forth like she's going to hit her knees, but only hits air.

sounds a little like she's dying tbh

Misa used to be embarrassed about her laugh when she was little, but she grew to learn it just means she's happy! so she likes it

though she would never laugh if she's livestreaming or anything like that, like Light she'd have a fake laugh (a typical girly giggle) for such occasions.

Touta Matsuda 🦆

this guy is like so normal help hahjajjajjasjsj

I think he would often like scream and then laugh (especially on roller coasters, watching horror movies, being jump-scared, all that)

wheezes a little, goes "oh God- oh God- no no stop-"

his stomach starts to hurt because if Matsu starts laughing he just like. does not stop. he goes into hysterics.

would end up rolling on the floor and struggling to breathe

"Matsuda it was just a bad bee pun, are you alright?" because he'd suddenly be set off by one silly thing like that and just be chuckling and laughing and all for the next few hours. and expect it to start again if someone makes the mistake of saying "bees" in the next few days

Okay but his mouth would go all squiggly like Charlie Brown's when he's trying to hold in a laugh.

shoving his bright red face into a pillow and trying not to scream in laughter, literally this man is DYING at every lame joke. he loves really long jokes too.

this guy is not actually so normal after all...

Near 🧸

like L, he does not laugh very often

unlike L, this statement is ONLY true for when he's in the company of others. when alone I think Near does a fair bit of laughing, though it's quiet

it's just the kind of vulnerability and genuine enjoyment that he only feels safe to express when he's alone...

anyway Near's laugh is a little rough like he's not used to doing it. he might chuckle for a while, or just let out a quick and sharp "HA!" if he's more startled into laughter. the first one is more private, the second he might let out a couple of times in company

I think Near would also lie in bed at night and just laugh at the ceiling. maybe especially if he's had a bad day. it makes him feel a little better and reminds him that there are good things in the world! Because when Near laughs he remembers the other things that have made him laugh

it's a sign he likes and trusts someone if he laughs with them

Near can also mimic lots of different kinds of laughs. I feel like he's a storyteller, even if he only tells the stories to himself, so this skill can come in very useful!

Mello 🍫

HE HAS AN EVIL VILLAIN LAUGH

less disturbing than Light's Kira laugh BUT IT'S STILL KIND OF SCARY IF YOU'VE NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE

but most people are quick to realise he's just laughing. laughing a little like a crazy person but it's easy to tell, if you take the time to observe, that he's just genuinely enjoying himself

Matt ALWAYS knows what to say to make Mello laugh

(Mello tries not to laugh at Matt though, mostly because he's a little ass who doesn't want to give him the satisfaction)

Actually, his laugh is kind of sweet to listen to in a way??

I don't know how to explain that and the villain-laugh headcanon fitting together but they do, just trust me. it may sound evil but it is super sweet

hahaha he thinks he's a badass his laugh sounds like he's a badass but somehow it's not badass at all.

The opposite of Near, he's more likely to laugh around others.

I think his favourite thing to laugh at is really bad movies. Just making fun of them, ridiculing the plot, and though some people thinks he sucks the fun out of it he finds it enjoyable

Matt 🚬

laughs often, doesn't GENUINELY laugh often.

he's a smoker right? well, I think that makes it clear that he's got a smoker's kind of laugh. he might end up coughing if he laughs too long

don't smoke kids

Matt's always had more of a throaty laugh though, he's a low chuckle kind of guy. unless he's tired or REALLY amused, in which case he'll cackle.

When typing he does a keyboard smash laugh: AJHSHAHAJAJA

I think he laughs at himself often. Matt in particular I haven't seen his dn appearances in years but I think he's a pretty chill guy most of the time, happy to give a laugh if someone insults his fashion taste.

not a headcanon but I wonder if a PC emoji would fit better...

Loves to make other people laugh too!! will lighten the mood or turn a chuckle into an uproar with a few really good bad jokes or a funny assortment of actions or impressions

He pokes fun at everyone and everything because when you take life too seriously, you don't enjoy it.

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖙 ˏˋ⋆˖⁺˖⁀➷ 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 + 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜

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bonefall · 1 year

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So way back in the day on the original Warriors website, there was an area where you could submit questions about the series that the Erin's would answer and then post the question and answers on a FAQ page. Someone asked about prefixes that the Clans don't use because they're considered sacred, and the answer had been iterations of Moon-, Star-, or the Clan names themselves, so Sky-, Shadow-, etc.

Obviously this isn't true for canon anymore, if it ever actually was (citing here: lack of continuity between the Erins) but I'm curious to know if your AU has any prefixes that the Clan's absolutely refuse to use for one reason or another? Whether they be sacred or maybe they're considered "cursed", like perhaps a particularly evil cat has tarnished the prefix forever. (Such as the lack of Maple- prefixes in canon books post-Mapleshade! Maybe not intentional, but a cool world-building detail nonetheless!)

Stemming from that, do you think any prefixes would/could be turned into insults/curses later on down the line? Basically, what's the culture like for names? My favorite part of Warriors has always been the names, and the Erin's had such a nice thing going until it was tossed out the window. The system you use with Clanmew and all is super neat and I'd love to know more about Clan naming traditions! Also how each leader names cats - idk if it was you or someone else that I follow, but I saw a post talking about how each leader has a distinct way to name their warriors.

(Also small fun fact while on the subject of names, a friend of mine submitted a question asking about who Bluestar's parents were, and the answer was Duskflower and Stormtail. This was a few years before Bluestar's Prophecy was published, so she was very upset over them changing "Duskflower" to "Moonflower" when it did finally come out!)

The Duskflower thing is actually a misconception: What happened was that in a field guide, the Erins wrote that the name was "Moonflower," and then felt that "moon" should be sacred. That's when they started using "Duskflower," until Bluestar's Prophecy came out and they agreed with the editors that the older information should take precedence

(Rare anti-retcon win)

But anyway I have no banned or sacred names! I don't like that concept! Possibly because I am from an old fandom era of 'traditional namers' that just used it as an excuse to bully people and have bad taste. Hawkfrost's name ROCKS MY SOCKS and they all died mad while I'm still here.

My rules with namings is that EVERYTHING must make sense in-universe. So I don't like lyrical naming very much... names like "Friendlyface" or "Empyreanmist" are funny, but I don't see how a kitten would end up with those names unless every cat in their Clan stopped taking their lives seriously

(Or are in WarriorClan. BB!WarriorClan renamings are going to look WILD)

That also means ecologically invalid names get cut or end up being translation quirks. Names like Cypress, Olive, Myrtle, etc.

I don't ban "insult" names either, but I do rule that they are typically ShadowClan. They have a very dark sense of humor.

And yes I am the one with leader naming styles! So far these are the styles:

Bramblestar: terrible. Doesn't consider names beforehand, often comes up with titles that are awkward or unimpressive

Harestar: Reverant and thoughtful, tries to name based on friendships, interests, and quirks.

Mistystar: Names litters according to 'themes,' often sharing suffixes or picking similar ones.

Brokenstar: Only ever gives "cool" names with deadly and strong connotations.

Firestar: Names awkwardly, but genuinely. Surprises his Clan constantly with banger names (Lionblaze) or shockingly uncomfortable ones (Brambleclaw).

Onestar: Names practically, trying to limit suffix repeats and tonguetwisters.

So on.

#Better bones au #Bone babble

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kishimotomasashi · 10 days

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I love your takes on the Uchiha clan so I wanted to ask you what do you think of the curse of hatred?? Do you think Kishimoto really intended it to be a genetic curse or do you think he provided a different explanation for it in the text?? What do you think of Tobirama’s view in it??

So in the manga canon, there seem to be two versions of what the fans call "curse of hatred": Obito's, since he's the one who actually uses the term (which he said as Madara, meaning he likely got it from him), and Tobirama's, who provides the "scientific" explanation for why the Uchiha are Like That. Each are respectively in chapters 462 and 619 for reference, I don't feel like screenshotting, lol.

There are also different in-universe reasons for why each character says either. Obito's subscribes to Madara's brand of fatalism, in which he believes that shinobi history never straying from interminable violence for most of its duration proves that they are all beyond saving. Tobirama views the Uchiha with suspicion as a result of having been at war with them for most of his life, and is especially anxious regarding what Madara became and the possibility of anyone else going the same route.

I don't know what Kishimoto actually intended because I don't live in his brain, but from what I gather based on the story, what we're supposed to understand as the "curse of hatred" is more Obito's definition than Tobirama's, since his is eventually the one that matters in the series climax (the whole Indra/Ashura reveal); so a destiny initially understood to be inescapable, but that they will eventually escape because of the power of friendship, and all that. Which isn't to say that I think what Tobirama says about the Uchiha doesn't matter: along with his explanation pretty much just putting into words how the we've seen the sharingan work so far, he describes the Uchiha's propensity for going insane with a different sort of determinism, though one whose imagined consequences are barely distinguishable from the way Obito talks about them as fate. Two sides of the same coin.

But funnily enough, he's a bit more hopeful about it than Obito/Madara seem to be: he does believe in the ability of certain Uchiha to overcome this genetic predisposition to being evil of theirs, which he defines as, uh, being more loyal to the village. We've all gone over why this sucks as a narrative probably a billion times by now so I don't need to go into all of that specifically— but, if we decide to accept that premise for a second, it looks to me like the intention with what Tobirama says within the context of the scene he says it in (which is Sasuke asking the past Hokage to define what a shinobi village is, or is supposed to be, and whether Konoha is worth protecting based on that answer) is that it's supposed to fall in line with the "we can achieve peace if we all forget our differences and work together" theme. True, the Uchiha are like this, but they can also overcome this and work for the greater good, and the whole encounter Sasuke has with the Hokage ends on a hopeful note.

Basically it's more or less "everyone else was a lost cause, but you don't have to be" as a hopeful message. Which is Not Very Good, in my personal opinion, when the context is a whole population, children included, being wiped off of the face of the Earth for the actions of a few. So my opinion of the "curse of hatred" the way it's presented in canon is that it just falls into the typical poorly thought out "fate is real" thing that plagues the latter half of the series.

I think I have a stronger opinion against it when it starts being used by fans of the show in discussions. Though I think we're all long past the era in which these arguments were everywhere (or at least I don't hang around in spaces where they're used), I still hold a grudge against every person who used the idea of the "curse of hatred" to defend the UCM, which was often always in order to shield Itachi specifically from criticism for going along with it and it was like... why are we subscribing to the idea of a group of people genetically being predisposed to evil in order to justify why it was necessary that they died right now. Hello.

#Anon #Ask #Uchiha #so yeah I think the curse of hatred thing sucks

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2n2n · 6 months

Text

Thinking about escapism

I have been dwelling on Picture Perfect lately… it really is a lovely arc.

A lot of times… anti-escapism messages are very bleak and boring, and they don't really relay any kind of 'reason to stay in the real world'… they are either harsh, "you just have to grow up and accept reality, become a normal businessman" (I'd argue this is more common in anime/manga, though, with emphasis on childish phases, reluctance to engage in reality etc), or, more often (in American media), through contrivances, the world of 'fantasy', 'getting what you want' will simply be inexplicably more punishing and dangerous than the 'real world'… I would say both takes typically see & depict the escapist as childish and immature, refusing to accept simple hurdles in life (which they must learn to deal with).

continuing beneath the cut. Gonna ramble a lot.

Let's take Coraline as a western example of the latter category. Coraline is listless & neglected. Her friends are far away, her parents are inattentive, her mom is tired & catty, her new home is unfamiliar and scary. The lesson in the Other is simply one of, "you should be more GRATEFUL for what you HAVE, you'll be GRATEFUL if you were PUT INTO MORTAL PERIL HORROR MOVIE SCARY SITUATION" …. this is often ah, the way of … kids movies …! Not much actual chewing done on 'escapism', other than an almost conservative "just be glad you have a roof over your head, it's not that bad!" and in the worst case scenario, a kind of "don't bother fantasizing or dreaming of better; the world is hopeless by design". It Would Be Worse To Runaway To Be a Pirate, Actually. A lot of ah, more serious media, like an Oyasumi Punpun, or an Aku no Hana, on the former end, have a nihilistic view of reality being a harsh inevitability, and it being a childish thing, the wish for better, or the wish for love, or escape at all. There is often a letting go of passion/intensity, and an acceptance for mediocrity. The fantasies you have when young, are crushed into pulp by reality.

That is not to say I dislike those stories (I actually like them all!), but I think the least of what they are doing is trying to discuss fantasy or the purpose of it … or fantasy as something very layered.

it's kinda rare something goes into the actual limits of a fantasy! or the reasons for its occurrence...

As an artist… I spent my life making stories, fictions, other lives, embodied those. I did my best to imagine a kind of world, a kind of dynamic, what could happen between two people … and you know !!! what !!! IT WAS ALL VERY WEAK, VERY THREADBARE, COMPARED TO THE ACTUAL WONDER AND EUPHORIA OF FALLING IN LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!! My fantasies-- SUCKED!!!! Because my mind SUCKED!!!! It was feeble, it couldn't imagine real adoration, acceptance, peace, serenity! I could not make up satisfaction, not really! Because I had never felt it, I couldn't simulate it with any depth!

There's such a cool thing about Picture Perfect, where, for Nene-chan, it's not the rejection of the world on the pure premise "it is fake" or "I do not like it" or "it is bad for me"-- the world will keep her safe, and it will tailor to her. The world is not evil. No giant spiders will come eat her skull suddenly. There will be no flying monkies throwing rocks at her…

but... she wants to see what will become of her real relationship. She likes the real Hanako, and, it is hope and aspiration, wishes for future experiences (naive as they can be) that make Nene-chan want to abandon the fantasy. The fantasy doesn't have to be bad … she can admit, it is nice. It can be beautiful, it can make her happy.

Hanako can make a lovely fantasy for her-- and, he wanted to … I can understand why Hanako takes it personally, as Nene-chan rejects his world. "I made this for you, to make you happy. Do you hate it?" … you can think of it as Hanako writing a story for Nene-chan, and writing his role in it. He thinks things like… "In the story I make, I'll be more polite to her. I won't make rude jokes. I'll be sociable, and have friends, and know all of her friends, too I'll be alive, and in her grade. I'll be charming, and, in my story, I'll just ask her out; I won't beat around the bush forever. I'll be athletic and a good student. I want her to have that kind of fantasy-life. I want to be that kind of fantasy-boy, for just a moment, for her."

It's coming from a sincere place… it's even coming from a place of self-hatred, for Hanako. Picture Perfect exposes that Hanako, for all his playfulness and sexual harassment, he doesn't actually think he's a good boyfriend. Obviously! He's a ghost. He tries to modify towards how he thinks Nene-chan's actual fantasy would go. It's not Hanako's dream world. It's the dream world he imagines Nene-chan wants.

If we want to put it in literal terms to relate to, you could think of Hanako as a writer, composing a story in which he is dreamy, and everything the girl he likes wants. Nene-chan sees this story, and says, "the boy I like isn't here."

She likes, HANAKO! the reality of him! Everything that he is! Jealous, possessive, sexually-harrassing, needy, cryptic, obtuse, condescending… that is, what she WANTS! REALLY! All of that!!

Nene-chan does not have to hate the world Amane made… she can admire that he made it for her. It's a sweet gesture, it is a sweet fantasy. But, she wants to live in the real world, with him. It's really true… that, if you love somebody, anything is fine-- all of those nasty thorns of reality, you want them, if it means you can be with the person you love. Hanako really can't imagine Nene-chan feeling something like that … but then she proves it, later, in the Far Shore, that she'd give up her entire life for Hanako, her every living luxury, her entire future...!

There was a period of time with my husband, before he was my husband, where, we didn't live in a great way, and, I knew it would be hard for both of us for a while, but … I would have lived in a cardboard box with him, I would eat nothing but beans and rice for weeks. I wouldn't want to be in a mansion with sashimi every day, if he wasn't there. I spent a long time not understanding that ... and I wanted him to be with people who could do more for him, financially, who could give him stability, running water haha, a secure roof. I had to come to understand how little any of that matters... love kind of makes the burdens of life un-burdenly.

Anyway... if we push the metaphor, the idea of being a writer composing romantic fantasies to please another-- then concept of escapism becomes both an obvious artistic beauty to admire and appreciate as a gesture, as part of their love, but ultimately, you don't want them to stow all of their feelings away into a fiction.

Furthermore... Hanako is comfortable finally pursuing romance with Nene-chan under the guise of false character, because it allows him to continue to hate himself, and believe loving him isn't a goal she meaningfully has. By creating a fake version of himself and making Nene-chan love it, he can rest well in his complexes, "ah, I was right, of course, she wants all of these things! These things I can't be, and can't do! ha-ha". In his mind, it must have been such a pleasant harsh reality, a good final note to end this relationship on (as he planned to abandon the world!)-- because in his mind, Nene-chan wouldn't miss the rude, dead, sexually harassing ghost. In his mind she'd be desperate for this normal boyfriend. You can see how convenient that is, as a final note.

Fantasies... you can use them to hurt yourself! You can make something contrary to your nature. You can make something laughably impossible to achieve, and that can be the point. Maybe you can make something too 'nice' for someone like yourself to have.

Rejection of his crafted Amane has layered pain for Hanako. Despite the point of this exercise, it still feels like rejection, when she doesn't fall head over heals for his presentation. If you wrote a romantic story for your friend, and, they rejected it ... it kind of wouldn't matter if you wrote it contrary to your heart, if you were only trying to please the idea of them with it. Don't you like it? I made it for you ...

It is beautiful that .... Nene-chan does still see Hanako in the obfuscating Amane, even as she is moving away from him. Of course... he's himself, and... as writers, as artists, we can't help but place ourselves in our work, we can't change our own voice so effectively. I like that aspect! I like how much distinction he wants there to be between Hanako and Amane. Himself, his character. I like how little there really is.

When we reach the crux of the arc, we get to the most complex layer:

The fictions we weave interpersonally, the selves we present for others to like. Hanako, he's so many layers deep. Poor Nene-chan takes the agonizing thought so gracefully.

We really don't entirely know the true Hanako, Yugi Amane, now, do we? What would he want? I don't believe any of this is his fantasy. It is a trap for Nene-chan.

I don't think what Hanako wants, would involve quite so many people, and so much normalcy. I don't think he'd be friends with Lemon and Akane. I don't think so much of this would be there. I don't think even Amane himself could tell you, what his ultimate fantasy world would be, if it was only to please himself.

Anyway....

As Shijima-san and Mei explore, art and fantasy can fuel our hope, and our desire to live. Shijima-san becomes bitter and resentful over how useless and meaningless fantasies were, as things that do not change reality. The manga doesn't feel that is true-- it's not pointless, it is not worthless, it is not meaningless, it's just also not all you should have. That's a far more sympathetic and nuanced view on fantasy than a lot of things offer .... but like, this is a fucking romance manga about being in love with a ghost, of course we can't demean the idea of a whimsical fantasy. We have to value it, to make such a story!! There is some part of ourselves in the fantasies we make, and we have to have them! It's not a nihilistic harsh reality story about needing to accept being a wagecuck. It is a story about how belief, wishes, and hope can shape things around us!!! Fantasies have a place in that... but they can't be used to confirm oblivion!!

Tsukasa has such an interesting role.... as someone who will allow you to access your present wish and actualize it, to confront if it's what you really want, or if you'll regret it. He's such the epitome of, seeking to get to the center of everyone. Sometimes wishes or fantasies come from a place of resentment, self hatred, hopelessness, agony....

sometimes a fantasy represents and upholds our helplessness, rather than our hopes. That's so interesting, isn't it? I think a lot of Picture Perfect represents Amane's present hopelessness towards his reality, but in the package of a sweet and beautiful fantasy-world.

We should just keep going until we can finally fantasize something better.

#avvy's JSHK #i feel like i will reread this later like damn i was out of it.. bc i am #but oaouhngnh... i want to say it!!

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alostlittleriverlotus · 2 years

Text

Little Thoughts On "Empaths"

So I was scrolling through the npd tag (I saw an example post I wanted to look at, but then it was lost in the sea and I just got distracted scrolling) and saw one about "empaths" being more manipulative.

THIS

★LONG POST AHEAD★

So I am hyperempathetic. It's naturally part of me being autistic. I feel things deeply to the point it's tiring. My brother (ASPD and autistic as well) has very low empathy. I often empathize with him, but he cannot with me. We are very different, but we still get along fine.

Anyway, I am hyperempathetic. And I see people parade around as "empaths" and then demonize mental illnesses, specifically personality disorders, and specifically NPD and ASPD. 1: people with NPD can have empathy. It might be warped, but it isn't impossible. 2: People with ASPD which are typically much lower on empathy doesn't make them awful or evil. My brother has ASPD. Can he be a dick and not always understand why others get upset? Yeah, but he isn't even a bad dude. He's largely untreated (I think I'm the only one that has really gotten professional mental help out of my family), but he literally would never hurt someone, at least not intentionally.

Anyway, that little rant about my brother leads into this:

People with lower levels of empathy are not evil. People with high amount of empathy are not automatically good. Empathy is NOT what makes you a human being.

I am so sick of seeing this said. I have high empathy, but all it does is make me way too in tune to emotions, cause me sadness and anxiety over things that don't matter, sensitive to a fault, and makes me feel different. I never see why the push for "empaths." Yes, high empathy can help in a lot of ways and empathy is important in understanding others in a way, but do these "empaths" not feel separated from others? Much of my life, I've felt like a weirdo for being "too sensitive" and such. Not saying I'm not happy to have high empathy. I love being able to understand others, but I just wonder if these "empaths" have ever had to face the "feeling different" I've often had. It's people like "empaths" that claim others are bad for not having empathy that make me wonder if they even have empathy. Even when my brother did not care, I empathized or maybe sympathized with him and wondered if I hurt his feelings. He didn't care. It didn't make me think he was bad because he didn't care. In fact, as a child, I was relieved because I didn't upset him. Also, I could say I was a bit jealous of it and I definitely thought it so weird. My brother was an introduction to someone with low empathy, that's why I speak about him here. It was the first time I really had an example of someone being "different from me."

So if you're an "empath" and have "high empathy" then why do you seem to fail to understand people with NPD and ASPD? Because even if you cannot properly empathize with them (like how I thought my brother was upset because I misread it or projected my own emotions), you should still be willing to learn. But you aren't. You've already made up your mind about them.

It's like if you faced abuse due to men so now you're scared of them. Yeah, you may have a reaction and be sensitive or even have to avoid them, but you're not going to think every single man you see is an abuser now. So why are you assuming everyone with NPD/ASPD is an abuser because your abuser was?

Yes, there are abusers that have these disorders. Abuse is a cycle after all. But that doesn't mean every person with said disorder will be abusive. That's like expecting every dog to bite you because you got bit once. The fact is, if you are still clearly sensitive or triggered by the disorders, you should not go around parading them all as abusive. What you should be doing is getting help or at least trying to work on yourself in a way.

My abusers have ASPD, OCPD, NPD. But the people on here, these strangers, with those disorders are not here to abuse me either. This is a traumatized person like me, someone who is more aware of their disorder(s) than our abusers and is able to get help even if they cannot afford it or have access to it. These people, they may not even be aware, but that doesn't mean they're all inherently here to abuse you.

Whether someone is aware of it or not, they are not automatically going to hurt you or abuse you. This is a stranger you may move on from. This is a stranger that doesn't know you. This is a stranger that has been through abuse themselves. This stranger probably doesn't even care enough about you. Yet you respond as if they are the abuser themselves because they share a disorder. This is a triggered reaction. You see the disorder, you assume they're just like your abuser because "this disorder is bad and my abuser had it," and you then have to treat them like it. They never said anything to you, they never were rude to you, they never threatened you, they never did anything to you. I can sympathize with the "being triggered" response, but what you need to realize is your first gut reaction isn't always the right one. It's a big tool I use for coping with my BPD and anxiety. This stranger hasn't hurt you, but you feel threatened. That doesn't mean you can act as if they HAVE hurt you. If you are so triggered, back away and attempt to calm yourself, work through the emotions, let yourself feel them without becoming too overwhelmed that you could hurt yourself, talk to someone you can or just rant in a journal or on an app. In the end, if you did decide to respond because you felt threatened, you'd be the one in the wrong. Why? Because you treated them like a monster, an abuser, all because of a diagnostic label used for treatment, a set of symptoms, a disorder they never asked for but are aware they have. You judged them because of a disorder they had without stopping to think for a second because your trauma was triggered and you saw them as your abuser.

Don't get me wrong, I've been there. Not with strangers, but my friends. My friend would say one thing and suddenly I was yelling and delusional like I was back in a fight with my ex who I haven't had contact with for years. I knew rationally it was my friend, but it felt so real, it felt just like my ex. But that doesn't excuse some of the shit I said, the yelling that scared my friend. That is why it's important to step back, acknowledge your gut feeling is a defense/survival mechanism but isn't always correct, and to focus on working through the emotions.

Spreading ableist views, saying a disorder instantly makes someone abusive because your abuser or other abusers had it is not the way, my dude. I tried to be more sympathetic in my response so maybe you realize something. If you're so triggered by the disorder that you get upset at strangers for saying that it doesn't make them or others inherently abusive or evil, the fact is that that is something YOU need to work on. Because it's a trauma response for you and it isn't right. To judge this innocent person because of a disorder they never asked for just like you never asked for yours.

Whether you're an "empath" that actually has high empathy or just someone claiming it, it does not give you a right to act like low empathy folks are bad. Hell, most of the time I find the middle of the range empathy folks (average people) to be worse. Low empathy folks may not understand or empathize, but they're more logical typically and can at least understand their own thoughts and reactions. I know my brother is quite logical and sees things in that way. While most average empathy folks (on a scale of 1-100, I'd say that's 35-65) tend to be the ones that are more judgemental and care more about social norms. Not saying every person with that average empathy is suddenly a neurotypical that values social norms and judges others, but in my experience, that's how it's been. Lower empathy folks tend to be more honest (aside from masking) which I, as an autistic person, appreciate. High empathy folks are, well, high empathy like me. Then the average ones tend to be where I find most neurotypicals who can empathize well enough, but not quite enough to where they actually care about things deeply. Of course there's neurodivergent folks in the middle empathy range as well, no problem there. Again, I'm not trying to say ONLY neurotypical folks are there, it's just where I see them most often. Even then, it's a wide range (35-65) which leaves room for differences.

Let's take a friend of a friend, I'll call them N (a nickname we used once, related to a nickname I had.) Well N is definitely lower on empathy, I believe it's them being autistic. I used to interact with them more and it always felt like I was wrong or making them upset. The reality? Nope. I don't talk much anymore with them (leaving the fandom largely due to how it correlated with my trauma), but I respect them. They treat my friend MA quite well and have learned about themselves a lot (openly saying they don't understand others and don't mean to upset them if they say something wrong.) What they would say got to me, cause I'm very sensitive due to who I am as well as trauma, but even when I was triggered, I was aware that they weren't saying it with ill intentions. Did it make me feel bad? Yeah. Was it meant to be mean? No, it was just straight forward. N is a very chill person that looks after MA and loves to roleplay with them. Compared to the toxic friend the three of us used to have, yeah, I'm glad MA has N. But this is just an example of someone lower on empathy that is fine.

And one final thought: when you say not having empathy or having low empathy is bad, you are not only talking about personality disorders, but autistic folks too. Just like autistic folks can be hyperempathetic (like me), the opposite is also true on the spectrum (like my brother and N.) So it may not even be trauma that makes the person this way. Either way, it does not make them abusive or bad. Yes the personality disorders have other traits that can cause harm, but I've seen autistic people that put others down, mock people, and openly support terrible people. Does that mean all autistic people are bad? No. I was abused by someone with depression and ADHD and GAD. Does that make everyone with those disorders abusive? No. It did make me unable to accept my own ADHD (opting for the term ADD) and refusing the term GAD because I found it triggering, so it did affect me, but it wasn't the fault of the disorders.

Just as neurotypicals or other disorders, you will have people that are bad and people that are good. You will have those that are abusive and toxic and those that aren't or have healed from it. Demonizing the entire group of people does NOTHING for either of you. It treats a complete stranger like they're a monster and it literally doesn't do anything to help you with your own trauma. All you've done is hurt someone else and probably more people that may come across the interaction. Is that something you feel good about?

One last story is I once read a comment on a post underneath a discussion on this. They said that they had a friend that was diagnosed with NPD. When they tried to do research, it lead them to a lot of ableist stuff that treated them like a monster. Articles that felt for the families, what people should do if someone is a narcissist, stuff like that. The commenter said their friend felt so horrible over it they tried to hurt themselves. I don't recall if they said they lived or died, but seriously, this shit can hurt those traumatized folks. Imagine if you got diagnosed with your disorder and then found out everyone is saying you're an abuser. "Empaths," can't you empathize with that? It's messed up, it harms the mentally ill, prevents them from actually getting help, and only adds to the stigma we all face. Stigma prevents better understanding of the disorders which ultimately prevents better help for these disorders. It adds to stigma from medical professionals when it can already be difficult to get help for personality disorders. This kind of ableist bullshit does nothing and only causes you to turn on other traumatized people that you don't even know.

This is long because I'm fucking fed up of this, especially the "empaths" that claim they're super empathetic only to treat low empathy folks like monsters. It's absolute bullshit. I tried to be understanding and give a more "calm" approach to help these people better understand. But if you've read this and still feel attacked or angry or like I'm in the wrong then I have nothing more to say to you. I wrote a lot and hoped you would understand, I sympathized with your thoughts and attempted to validate your trauma and emotions so it doesn't feel like an attack. At this point, you'd be willfully ignorant. I add this at the end because I have encountered those people. If you have learned, good for you and I hope you can continue to learn and have a good healing journey. We can't help our triggers, but we can learn to deal with them.

So yeah, this was a long post fueled by random scrolling and thoughts I've had for a while. I had to finally get all my thoughts out. If I said anything wrong or that might come off bad (towards low empathy, ASPD, NPD folks) where I might have used poor wording, please feel free to speak up because it is not my intent and I try my best to word things properly. However, I may mess up especially with my train of thought stopping a couple times, rip lol. Either way, I'm serious, if you agree with my take and see I may have said something wrong or poorly worded something, I am open to criticism (please use tone indicators if you do, it helps a BUNCH) and willing to fix it.

Have a wonderful day/night/whatever and I wish everyone well. You deserve love and you deserve to be treated like an actual human being with feelings and problems that are valid. I love you. Goodnight.

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messenger-of-stupidity · 9 months

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hiii ummm as someone who hasn’t listened to any of vega’s stuff (and is a little scared to) i just wanted to ask what you like about him. ok thanks bye :3

Hi!!

ALSO OH MY GOD!!! I WILL GLADLY TELL YOU!

(also tagging @clover-46 so she can be like "oh yeah this all makes sense. im a vega simp now.)

Don't be scared to listen to his playlist if you don't mind the gaslighting and such. He's not mean to Warden, but is actually kind of sweet to them. But if you dont like second guessing if youre being manipulated or not, then yeah... don't listen to his playlist. He's very sneaky.

-- TO MY LIST NOW --

I typically just go for villain/anti-heroes. Red flags are, unfortunately, what I find attractive. (in fiction and reality :') ) NOT ALL THE TIME THOUGH I SWEAR I HAVE COMMON SENSE

His annunciation. The way he speaks just scratches a very nice part of my brain. And if someone has a nice voice, it tends to capture my heart. It's more than just vocal fry, deepness, ect. It's the way he speaks.

He's multifaceted. At first we think he's evil because we see him from Freelancer's perspective. But when Carpe Deus comes around, it shows him in a different reality. He didn't just do what he did to Ivan because he wanted some yummy snacks. There was a genuine reason behind it.

I love the way he interacts with people. It's kind of patronizing but so subtle that you notice it, but you dont notice the extent of it.

He's poetic. He has such an extensive vocabulary, and he doesn't swear often. There's something to say about someone who is able to absolutely verbally obliterate someone, all without really swearing.

He's a sadism demon. (iykyk)

Vega doesn't actually touch Warden all that much. (from my understanding he just touches them when they need help) And irl I literally hate it when people touch me. So having a character that canonically doesn't have a lot of clear show of touching the listener took me out of the way I simp over fictional character and made it more how I simp over irl people. There's two sides.

His pet name for Warden (besides warden). Being called "Darling" makes me all flustered. Sam's is a bit different because he leaves off the "g", which leads back to the annunciation. There are a few words that sound better when you leave off letters, but for me Darling isn't one of them. (That doesn't mean I don't enjoy Sam's "Darlin", but just not as much as I enjoy Vega's "Darling")

I mentioned this before in a separate post, but Imp!Vega is very soft with Pet (that pet name omg im melting). I'm of the opinion that every canon character has the same qualities as their Imp! counterparts, so Canon Vega has the same possibilities to be soft with Warden. Soft Vega hits different.

Vega has a demon listener. None of the other's have that, and Erik's Demons and Daemons system is so fascinating to me, that I jump on any chance to be a part of that. Also I love designing demons, so having a reason to make a demon OC that I can show off to people and they wont just be like "okay?" is very nice. It doesn't really have anything to do with Vega, but it's one of the reasons I like him.

His one liners. He thinks of them on the spot (yes ik its from a script, but from an immersion level) and that kind fo wit is hella attractive.

How sneaky he is. That takes a level of thought and intelligence to hide it. And I fall very easily if someone is smart. Especially if they don't say it outright, but these little things they do express it.

Going back to my attraction to red flags, the power imbalance between Warden and him. And I'm talking legitimately about magic power. He said he's much older than Warden and therefore is more powerful. Feeling small and insignificant in that kind of way lessens my anxiety so much.

He offers excuses. Not for his behavior (well he does that too, but that's not what I'm talking about.) but rather excuses to his love to safeguard them. He did that with Pet in case he lost against the imperium. He does it with Warden in case they get caught going with Vega. He doesn't want their lives to be messed up. it's a small way to show he cares, but grand displays overwhelm me.

He's very fun to write. I'll write for nearly every character if I love the world/fandom. But he's so complicated to write and fun. I get to put this psych degree I'm working towards (we'll see if I change my major this year or next year. Idek) into my writing and it's fun. It helps renew my passion for psychology since it's getting burned out for the past several months. (I've been into it since I was in middle school) I have so many pages in my docs and notebooks where it's just a full analysis on him. (Going back to he's an interesting character.

Also I'm just a total degenerate.

#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ABOUT VEGA #I want more asks about him T-T #messenger of answers #Hi Andi!#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted vega #redactedverse

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glngrbred · 3 months

Text

On inherent stories and worldbuilding

OK so the title is pretentios but you looked at it right? cool

I legitimately would realy apreciate it if you read or loosely read this, this project is very important to me and I've worked alot on it. Thank you for reading at all, go drink some water, love u <3

anyways, Im making a cardgame right now, like MTG but hopefully monotized in a more ethical way. like, as a 1 time purchase or subscription.

So, In my game there is a very heavy emphasis on ecology, and it is basically explicitly environmentalist propoganda, that's not the point tho, what we are trying to do initially is trick people into thinking about environmental issues with cool worldbuilding. And on that worldbuilding, as lead desiner/writer person, I think I can actually share some pretty good tips.

Some quick background, not super important. In our wold there a 4 color identities, wich is both for gameplay (mtg inspired) and lore (also mtg inspired) Red, white(yellow), Green, black(purple), for each of wich is a place on an alighnment chart and teirs within the factions represented by these colors. again, like MTG

On that topic, of the factions and identities these card colors and gameplay elements represent, I have some tips for Dms and other worldbuilders.

My main thing, Is inherrent stories (built in stories).

As an example,

The Orks in my world are reptilian hominids obsessed with fire. As a starting point my desire was to do a new type of Ork, where we maintain the motif of chaos alighned "Monsters" who's actions serve the bad guys, like in WoW or LotR. from there I knew that my red faction was fire themed, but building up this concept was kinda hard for me. I didn't really know hoe to start with meeting this desire while subverting the typical Ork tropes.

So I decided to take the aproach of working from first my desire to have a fire ascociation. I Already had a theme of the main humanoids in my world being ascociated or related to specific animal groups, Goblins have similarity to anteaters, elves bees, and Dorvs beetles and grubs. So I knew the first step in my Orls was going to be Making them some sort of animal.

And i had a good think on that, you know I landed on reptiles. wich seem obvious in hindsight, but at the time I was very excited about this, since it meant there was already a clear connection to be made with fire. since most reptiles cannot regulate heat on their own, a connection to the sun and fire is very easy to make. Especially for a hominid species. Already we have a peice of a narrative, Orks love Fire because they need it to survive cold days. Wonderful, now how do we get that ascociation to chaos and subvert the typical barbaric Orks trope?

My first thought was inspired by Warhammer greenskins, wich isn't super subvertive, just giving orks big techy robots doesn't do much to change the ascociation with brutish methods and uncivilized nature. I knew I wanted to make the Orks more equal intelectually with my other factions, instead of having them be the mindless other bent on chaos. So the step after "Ork like fire" turned out to be their philosophy

What I ended up going for was in my opinion pretty original,

Orks, Due to their reliance on Fire, developed a culture and Philosophy built on the nurturing of "Warmth." Warmth takes many fors for the Orks, they find it in Art, Music, magic, and love. Family and play and Food, and even war. Where the Orkish philosophy deteriorates as a method of governance it the often single minded focus on what makes an individual feel good, and forgetting that other people, even those that don't seek warmth, have needs and desires too. By creating this intrinsic societal issue, where governance ends up focusing on how to make one's tribe as warm as possible, we can create narratives about how desperate poorer comunites are for warmth, how creative they get, and how even bad, and evil deeds can be seen as a positive as long as they bring warmth to your tribe.

We can have wars and espionage and gatherings and beutiful ronmances all built around this pervasive desire for individual pleasure. And we can have stories form when an Ork realizes that the Goblins they've hurt also want good things, and how the Orks realize that their selfish behavior makes the world less warm for everyone. We can have stories about nurturing empathy in a selfish society, and stories about becoming closer to one another, of seperating one's self from those who use them and hurt them.

Also, with this narrative, Orks turn into warbands of bards, preists, and mages, keen on nurturing warmth and helping their ingroup. WHOA we just subverted the barbarian ork trope didnt we? HORRAY ALL OF OUR GOALS HAVE BEEN FULFILLED BY ONE DESCISION SPIRALLING!

Of course perscribing concepts and personality to individual characters based off of their race is a horrible thing to do. but for a group it's very usefull to narrow down concrete adjectives and emotions that are associated with your societies and cultures.

My Advice to you, is try to find your Ork bards, but don;t start there. Think about how society would form around the 4 legged Praying mantis men your story is about, and how different a society could be based off of the physiological environment your characters exist in.

My second peice fo advice, Is that If you want to make a specific type of civilization, As an example, hive cities (like warhammer), try to think about what typre of culture would develope that city? who would live in the underwater Utopia, who would work in the sugar mines, and why do the sugar mines exist? I know It can be increadably difficult to find an angle to take your worldbuilding, so start with 1 small descision, an easy one, like "Do I want my orks to be colorful?" Answer that, then build from there.

final note, Yes, this is an extremely long post, and thank you for reading it,

also ...

👌

I, ME, HAS gotten you HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA *evil gnome voice* You hAVe but THIRTY MINUTES to get someone else before you ARE IT for the rest of your life MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

#worldbuilding #writing #writers on tumblr #mtg #tcg #my writing #meme #fantasy #warhammer 40k #magic: the gathering #orc

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ultramarine-spirit · 1 year

Note

What you said in your previous post about manhwas reflecting the thinking of Korean autoreas is so true!! it's frustrating because people analyze it with their western mentality and throw so much hate without bothering to try to understand the story. There are many things that I have noticed in the manhwa that are very different from things in the west (for example, the FL is always compared to an angel or a fairy lol) but something that caught my attention is that in the west it is It is very common that when we talk about an 'empowered woman' it is a woman who is good at physical fights, with super powers or good at using weapons with sarcastic personalitys and other things, while in manhwas (there are women like that too, of course) but something they have that the americans movies don't usually show is that the women here are very good at studying. That surprised me (and I liked it) because it is not very common to see women who work hard in the studios and enjoy it in USA movies, but they do in manhwas. One of the few movies that reflects this is legally blonde (and it's one of the best movies out there) plus I have a great love for academically validated female characters, they are literally my favorites in any story so reading that Athy really enjoyed studying made me fall more in love with her. Also when FLs have to act cute in order to survive, fans often throw so much hate at them saying they are irritating or ridiculous but they don't take the time to think that there are many ways to be a great female character without always using weapons, I have a great hatred for the term "soft fl" it seems too misogynistic to me that they are thrown down for that reason but waiting for the manhwa community to realize that is going to take a long time.

Another thing I remember is that in the novel Athy had many modern thoughts that surprised me, like when they talked a little about Korean society and I could feel a criticism of this or the things she said when some men harassed her and Jennette or when some men Men said that she would be happier married to a prince instead of being the next empress and she was very upset by her. Also when in his debut he said "one thing I learned is that boys have to look like boys and ladies look like ladies" (this stuck with me because it made me think of oversexualizing young children but maybe I'm overanalyzing it) There are many interesting things in the wmmap novel that people take out of context.

Another thing I've noticed is that in the East it's more typical to see this kind of "sunshine" girls who are sweet and cheerful, very kind, literally the kind of people that everyone loves and in manhwas they get so much hate, it's hateful. It's also not common to see this type of girls in the west and if they are, they are always hated. Ruby from How to get my husband on my side is truly one of the strongest female characters out there and is always looked down on just because she is softer compared to the other girlboss leads. Athanasia is a character who seems to be on the lookout for between these two terms but he still gets criticized for not having acted in a more "evil" way it's funny because the scene of Athy facing the nobles and then Anastascius screamed more power to me than many scenes I've seen in movies or series.

I just want to clarify that I love my villainous girls, medea and roxana are really amazing and I enjoyed women who do morally bad things, marianne, Cosette, soleia, I love them all. But I genuinely hate how they look down on 'soft fl'

The thing is, there are a lot of things in the novels/manhwas that I feel are critical or stereotypical of them that more western minded people take too much out of context and it's too frustrating, some people have a hard time understanding which does not have to be from their point of view.

sorry for all the rant lmao, i didn't mean to make it so long, it's just that this is one of my big problems with the manhwa community 😭

Have a good day!

Don't worry for the rant, anon! I think similarly to you as well.

I'm in the position that, while I live in a country that geographically and politically could be considered "the west" (what a long conversation that is lmfao), my culture doesn't perfectly align with "western" values and ideas. So when I see people sending hate towards manhwa, I notice how they often analyze them exclusively from their personal point of view and own biases, not realizing that asian media is very different from western media. I don't know if this is a problem of media literacy or it's that people think less of asian media as a whole. Hopefully it's the former.

But yes, most manhwas reflect korean values! Shocking, I know. Perhaps people get blinded by the western settings, but even if the characters "don't look" asian, they were made by an asian author, so obviously they reflect asian ideas and values. In that sense, they are asian characters. A similar discourse happens with anime and danmei/xianxia novels.

I think western readers have an easier time liking "girlboss" FLs and revenge fantasy stories because those are more common on this side of the world. But they struggle with more nuanced stories where the FL is not perfect, she does not solve everything with schemes or being a badass, is "weak", or (heaven forbid!) is able to forgive a family that hurt her in the past. This is the main criticism Athy gets, the fact that she was able to love Claude. I truly don't understand how people decide to even read WMMAP if they are so opposed to that idea, because that's the heart of WMMAP's story. Family holds a much bigger importance on the east compared to the west's individualistic idiosyncrasy, so of course most asian stories that touch the topic of family won't end in "if your family wronged you, fuck them". From where I'm from, family is also regarded as very important, so I can understand why a lot of manhwas are about rebuilding family relationships, not destroying them. And even then, you have plenty of revenge fantasies with cartoonishly evil families, so if that's what you prefer, you can read those.

Specifically korean media, it often touches topics like, generational trauma, misogyny, capitalism, etc. As you said, WMMAP addresses these things too in some way or another. I didn't think manhwa was particularly subtle as a medium (I know it's kinda ironic coming from me, but these are very simple stories, not Dostoevsky novels), but if people have trouble understanding the point of Parasite and Squid Game, then no wonder they can't pick up on these themes.

I'm not saying asian media or manhwas are above negative criticism. They have plenty of issues of their own. But if you are going to criticize something, you have to truly understand it, and reading anything disregarding cultural context or the own internal biases you may hold is at best foolish and at worst very ignorant. Western readers often have this mentality that all stories have to cater to them, when it's obvious that manhwas were made thinking of a korean public first and foremost.

(I dislike when people say Athy should have been more "evil". The whole point of her character is how her kindness and willingness to be empathetic with others and try to build honest relationships was what saved everyone. Villainesses AUs are fun, but when people truly say that Athy's character is weak because she chooses to feel love instead of hatred, because she is selfless instead of selfish- Why are you even reading WMMAP? And even then, she is far from "soft" and has plenty of "badass moments"...)

(News to me that Ruby gets hate, I thought she was the new manhwa darling. I stopped reading that series, but to me she was the best part of it by far. I think she is one of the only few good portrayals of a victim of physical abuse and ED in all manhwa. I have always disliked how those traits are just brushed aside as little things to endear the FL to the reader, but are never treated with the seriousness they deserve).

#personally im not a fan of 'super badass FLs that solve everything by just being girlbosses' cuz i feel like the author is trying to pander #to readers that like to self insert or live their fantasies through the FL. and its cool if thats your thing but its not mine #another extremely funny thing is how people lose their shit at pseudo incest manhwa (aka adopted siblings not raised together fall in love)#(and to be clear. i also dont like the trope but that's not my point) when-#pseudo incest and straight up incest are part of the western literary canon. a VERY prominent part if i might add #my point is that you may dislike the trope. that's fair. but often those criticisms read as 'eww this gross korean manhwa is so disgusting'#which... idk guys you might wanna think a little about how you interact with foreign media and how your biases might be affected by racism #just food for thought #anyways that's why i dont care about 'manhwa fandom'. i just wanna talk about wmmap with wmmap fans #wmmap #wmmap meta

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mr-voorhees-husband · 2 years

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Can I have the Tssm sinister six + Mysterio with a reader who has a sensitive neck.

Oh. Ohohoho. Oh hell yeah.

This is my jam, jelly and peanut butter all in one, dear, sweet anon. Though I should say with the Sinister Six I'm afraid I don't write for vulture, the rest though, you're in luck!

Warnings: Nsft topics, nsf/w topics, some choking from Shocker and Alex, neck kisses, etc

Reader: Gender Neutral w/ a sensitive neck!

Alexander O'hirn "Rhino"

You need to run.

Joking, mostly. If there's anything Alex enjoys it's teasing, especially teasing you, his darling. Any sensitive spot is like a glowing red beacon to him.

He'd learn about the spot on complete accident. He isn't the brightest of the group, and while he's far from dumb, he's not very perceptive. Alex had leaned down to kiss your shoulder, something he did often because it put your faces close, and your back to his chest. He wasn't paying attention, and kissed your neck.

Granted, he really didn't notice at first. He missed the way you flushed as Alex dragged you into a large, crushing hug, nuzzling with a deep chuckle. It was only when you tried to worm away, did it register how you responded to such a simple gesture.

"Well, well, short fry," Alexander held you against his chest tighter, chuckling darkly at the way you squirmed and tried to hide your neck, "didn't know that neck of yours was such a soft spot."

He can and will use it against during fun times, kissing, biting, licking, everything. The only thing he won't do is choking, he's already scared about hurting you usually, but the risk of snapping your neck, or crushing your windpipe.

Unless, of course, you two were together before the suit. You can forget a sex life where Alex isn't choking you. He'll never hurt you, of course, so if choking isn't your thing, he'd stop immediately, but if you like it? Sometimes he'll grab your throat outside of the bedroom just to see you blush and panic.

Alex loves you having a sensitive neck, makes it all the easier to tease you <3.

Flint Marko "Sandman"

Flint is the most 'fair' about you having a sensitive neck. He himself has a sensitive neck, so he doesn't tease you with it.

At least, not in the typical sense.

During fun times, your neck is his go to. Even while he's pounding into you, his lips are on your neck, kissing and marking up and down your throat while downright singing your praise. He just loves you so much, and a sensitive neck means he's able to make you feel better.

I feel like he'd notice how sensitive your neck is when you first sleep together. No matter what, your neck is always his go-to, being a thug had always messed with his trust-issues, so he's a bit possessive. He'd start kissing your neck and notice immediately how sensitive you were, you'd think he'd won a million dollars with how big he was smiling.

"Wow, Doll, ya' never said you were so sensitive..." Flint pressed another kiss to your windpipe, grin growing at your shuddering breath. Rough, sandpaper-like hands riked up your shirt, rubbing along your skin as he sucked a mark into the senstive flesh of your neck. "Can't wait to see what else'll make ya' moan."

Before the accident wouldn't be very different. He may be a bit more flustered, but other than that, he'd react the exact same. Being made of sand doesn't make him any-less protective, but it does make him a bit more confident.

Flint, while he's never use it against you, adores you having a sensitive neck. It just means he can make you feel better in his eyes <3

Jackson Brice 'Montana' "Shocker"

Evil. So evil about it. If you thought Alex was bad, Montana is 1000x worse.

Montana uses it against you more than Alex does, and when he does, it's never fair. In public, private, whenever, wherever. As long as you don't say no or get uncomfortable, he considers it fair game. Getting you flustered and squirming is his favorite hobby, and something he's so good at if he was paid for it, he wouldn't need the suit anymore.

There's never gonna be a day were your neck isn't covered in some kind of mark, sometimes its a kiss, othertimes it's a whole damn bite mark the size of your palm. It heavily depends on what happened tthat morning, or the night before.

Speaking of mornings, if you're not an morning person, or at least, you don't wake up at the crack of dawn, he can and will wake you up with neck kisses. He knows good and well it's unfair, but that the fun of it.

"Mornin' sugar," Lips pressed against your throat, hands hooking around your waist as Montana hugged you against his chest, "how'd ya' sleep?

In all honesty, he's the only one that wouldn't change before or after getting his suit. To him, the suit is just that, a suit. At the end of the day you're still his amazing partner, with a sensitive neck that he loves to tease you with.

And yes, he will choke you. Never with a belt or collar though, even if he does threaten it at times. He's a bit too nervous to risk it, plus he really enjoys seeing a hand shaped bruise on your neck, almost more than the bites he leaves.

Unfair as he is, all you have to do is tell him no, or just say you're uncomfortable and he'd stop immediately. The only thing that means to him is that you're enjoying it. If you aren't, he isn't either.

Maxwell Dillon "Electro"

This varies heavily.

Pre!Accident Max is almost as bad as Alex. He teases and uses it against you so much you couldn't go a day without being red-faced. Public, Private, it didn't matter, he loved you so much and he wasn't afraid to show it.

Kissing your neck was a daily activity for him, if he missed a day, he treated it like he missed a day of medication. You'd swear he was going through some kind of withdrawal with the way he whined and pouted until you let him have his fun.

After accident is a much, much different story. I think he's by far the most different when he becomes a villain. He's extremely scared to hurt you, and even the idea of touching you at all gets him nervous, somewhere like your neck though downright makes him have a panic attack.

Going by the idea that his electricity isn't hurtful unless he tries, Electro uses it to his advantage on the rare moments he isn’t in one of his 'danger' moods. His fingers with graze your neck, electricity licking your skin as he relishes in the way it makes you flush.

"Guess it's good that neck is so sensitive, isn't it?" Electro nuzzled into your neck, helmet off as he basked in your warmth, both in a natural sense, and the way you flushed. "Zapping ya' makes you just as crazy as my kisses used too."

He can't really kiss your neck, or leave marks anymore. Unless you considered the small lightning scars his electricity leaves at times, but even then it isn't much. Despite that, he'll still 'kiss' your neck at times, just to see you smile.

Pre-accident is a teaser that finds it amazing, while post-accident finds it a bit cute, but otherwise can't do much.

Quentin Beck "Mysterio"

Turn it on him.

No matter what, with Quentin, while he'll talk big game, it will never go the way he wants it too. If you moan, groan, or whimper after a kiss, he'd be floored, even if that's what he was trying to get you to do.

A sensitive neck means easy teasing in his eyes, and while he's usually good a teasing, when it comes to you, he's putty in your hands. A right placed whimper, or well worded beg, and he'll be redder than you are. Especially if you ask him to keep going. If your in public, you better hope you're able to drag him away before he takes you up on your offer.

"Hello, dearest," lips pressed against the back of your neck, Quentin wrapping his arms around you and tugging you into his arms. Your breathing stuttered, and you didn't miss the way Quentin's arms tightened, making you grin in pride. "Ah- sorry, love."

While he's unfair, marks and choking tend not to be on the table, unless done accidentally. He sees you like an artwork, and they're best when untampered, harming your visage in anyway would be cruel.

Quentin, for such a big ego, is more sub than dom at times, especially if you submit easily. He lives to please, and if you hand over that power, he doesn't know what to do with it.

Otto Octavius "Doctor Octopus"

Another one who acts completely different before the accident.

Pre - Accident gets flustered so much, he's gets to embarrassed to even try to kiss or love on your neck. If you ask enough, he will, but his face will be so red you'd be able to feel it as he kisses up on you.

He'd probably be able to get off just by kissing and biting your neck, yours moans and whimpers just being too much for him. He's similar to Quentin in that respect, but he'll still do it, no matter how red his face is.

After accident though, he's a completely different person. Every whimper and moan stirring him on more as he teases you in that infuriatingly attractive voice. And he will make fun of his old self, in mix of selfdeprecation and self-love.

"Come on now, my dear," metal tentacles wrapped tight around your waist, "you usually react so much better," hands joined the cool metal, the stark difference of temperature making you bite back a gasp, "now you're the one squirming..."

Of course, if you deny him, or say no, he'll respect your wishes, and he'd never choke you. You'd have to downright beg to get him too, and even then it's never with the tentacles. Similar to Rhino he has problems controling his strength, so he doesn't want to hurt you.

Overall, post accident he's unfair, but sweet about it. Pre accident is sweet and soft, but easily embarrassed.

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rynne · 2 years

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I’m someone who *wants* to see WWX as morally ideal, the way mxtx intended him to be, but I think I’m too old to be convinced that subjecting even “bad” people to forced autocannibalism is a “just” punishment under any circumstances :/

I have a few things to say about this, so bear with me.

The first is something I've talked about before in regards to conflating personal morality with the story's morality. I go into it more here, so I would like to direct you to that post. Ultimately, I think that WWX can make decisions that a reader personally disagrees with, but that doesn't affect that he's meant to be a moral ideal within his setting.

Second is a bit of a discussion on the "WWX's morality" debate in general. I think the context is a little important here, which is that this debate typically arises from some readers trying to elevate their favorite members of the cultivation world, most often JC. Because the story ultimately shows that the cultivation world is in the wrong and WWX is in the right, if anyone wants to absolve their fave of the bad things they did to WWX and the Wens, they have to first bring WWX down to their level. They have to find ways to prove that WWX is not as good as he's talked about being, which means more of what the cultivation world did to him can be justified.

So now I would like to ask you a question, Anon. Why does WWX having done something you see as wrong matter to you? What purpose does it serve to you to decide that he's not quite morally ideal in your eyes? (And tone is hard to convey in this kind of discussion, but I'm trying to be sincere, not accusatory, here.) If it's just a personal acknowledgment that you don't think WWX's actions here were acceptable, then okay, you're allowed that personal view. But if you're trying to make an argument about WWX's morality in the story based on your personal view, then I think you need supporting evidence from the story that backs up your perspective. Do you think that WWX's actions here are supposed to undermine his moral authority in the rest of the story?

That leads me into the third point, which is that even in a story with some very important moral choices, not everything is about morality and that's not always a very useful framework to discuss an event. Personally, I don't think discussing his morality here adds a whole lot to our understanding of his character or this event's role in the story.

MXTX shows us neither WWX's time in the Burial Mounds nor much of what he did during the war, so this sequence shows us part of what made him so terrifying, which further sets up how the cultivation world reacts to him after the war and what they decide to use against him. It sets up the core of WWX's clashes with LWJ, which are essential to the development of their relationship.

This chapter also ends with one of the very few times we get LWJ's perspective. The scarcity of LWJ's perspective I think emphasizes its importance -- so what do we get from it here?

The night had passed. The sun in the sky was about to rise.

And the sun on the ground was falling.

(Chapter 62, ExR)

This is about the depths to which WWX (the sun on the ground) has fallen, but I don't think LWJ is really thinking about it in moral terms here. His moral concern may be part of it, but what LWJ tried, and failed, to get across in this scene is that he doesn't want to judge WWX, he wants to help him. He sees that WWX had to have endured absolutely horrific things to have reached this point, and while WWX interprets his reaction as "Wei Ying, you have done something evil and bad here and I want to judge and punish you for it," his actual reaction is closer to "holy shit, Wei Ying, what are you doing, what happened to you, that you're doing this is a bad sign for your mental and emotional and spiritual health, I want to help you."

So I think that LWJ's perspective is a more useful framework to evaluate what's going on with WWX here than judging him. This is about showing how bad what WWX endured was without having to do a Burial Mounds montage. He is in absolutely terrible shape here in about every way possible, and I think it's meant to be more sad and alarming than worthy of censure.

My final point is that even if what WWX did was something the narrative condemned (which I don't think the narrative does), it still doesn't compromise his moral authority in the rest of the story. Morally praiseworthy people don't have to never do a wrong thing in their lives -- that doesn't leave a lot of room for the actual human experience. But WWX does do something I think is important, which I've also talked about before, and that is reflect on his past actions.

During the Sunshot Campaign, all of these things were praised, used to inspire the people. However, the further the Sunshot Campaign became, the more fearful the people were when they mentioned it again. Not only others, even when he, himself, thought about it afterward, he felt that he had done a bit too much.

(Chapter 66, ExR)

I don't necessarily think he's talking about what he did to WC here, because his thoughts on this were inspired by that couple talking about his actions during the war. He doesn't seem to think about WC again after his death, so we don't know how he feels about what he did on reflection. He might decide that WC earned what he got, or he might also think that this was a place he went a little overboard.

But this moment is something that helps me reconcile when I disagree with WWX. He isn't a static character. He is capable of looking back on things he's done in the past and deciding to do better.

And that's more than most people in this story can do.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #wei wuxian #the morally gray discussion #anon #asks #but also I'm pretty tired of discussing wwx's morality #can we just be done with that #and talk about other things

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sidhewrites · 10 months

Text

posessed by a spirit of writing part 2: how did this happen i've written 6k words in the past 2 days

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tag list: @adaughterofathena @ambreeskyewriting @carnelianflames @halfbloodlycan @vigilantdesert @nadunacreates

The usual muffled weekend noise came through the thin walls of my apartment as I showered off, then decided that I didn't want to deal with the fact that Josie's things were still sitting in boxes on my kitchen table. A set of dowsing rods, cat treats, a few shirts and necklaces, and at least a few crystals.

I have no clue why she believes in spiritualism like that, considering she's the one who taught me the origins of the west's understanding of eastern mysticism like chakras, third eyes and whatever. Make no mistake, I like shiny rocks as much as the next guy, but the idea that different colors of quartz could make you happier or more sexually active or ward off evil was as stupid as avoiding walking under ladders to avoid bad luck instead of just following basic common sense when it came to physical safety.

I know I sound like an asshole. Josie had told me hundreds of times.

It was still stupid.

Instead of dealing with her things, I carried my sorry ass down to the corner store for a pint of ice cream, bleach, and hair dye. My side-shave was due for a touch-up anyway, so it wasn't purely out of the spirit of emotional devastation and existential crisis that made me go from my typical black to hot pink. Admittedly, it was mostly because of an emotional crisis, but it wasn't the only reason, so I'm counting that as a win.

As the dye set, I put some music on and settled in on the bench by the window. By now, the rain was starting to recede, which meant people were no longer rushing to get from place. My apartment was just across the street from the graveyard, so I had a good view of the college campus, and I could spy on Mr. Ngo when he tried to do something a man his age shouldn't, like kneeling to weed the plants when his arthritis was acting up.

There wasn't much going on today. A few people walking across the grounds, either from the apartments to campus or vice versa, a few of the usual picnickers determined to enjoy an afternoon with their late loved ones despite the mud, or just get some time outside as the sun slowly started to emerge.

But there was someone else in the graveyard today. The small film crew had far better gear than the usual stuff Sutter College loaned out to its students. Even from a distance, their professionalism and organization was easy to see, and their mic operator looked very official -- not to mention a good twenty years older than students tended to be. I couldn't see their faces clearly, nor could I hear what they were saying, but it was all too easy to figure out exactly what they were doing, standing in the overgrown grass and pointing out significant historical graves.

Ghost hunters.

Like I said, the graveyard is old. Lots of people die in 150 years, and we have no shortage of local legends and folklore. The Barhop in [Old Towne Brewery.] Ms. Lark in the old public library. And the town's most famous, Lucille Bloom. According to history, she married the love of her life at nineteen, and lost him two years later in a freak logging accident. They weren't able to recover his body. She died of pneumonia and grief only six days after that, before the funeral had even been properly arranged.

According to legend, her spirit haunts the graveyard, waiting for her husband to be buried next to her as they'd always planned. She's allegedly -- allegedly -- an active spirit that can be spoken to, and often appears as a full-body apparition.

Look, just because I don't believe in Josie's ghost stories doesn't mean I didn't sit up watching documentaries and video essays with her as she went down rabbit hole after rabbit hole. I knew about the town's ghost stories, and I knew about the various teams of hunters and internet personalities who'd done videos on it. I'd even been contacted by them once, though they conveniently left out the fact that I'd never seen a single ghost in all my nights working in the graveyard when the video eventually came out.

If Josie knew they were here, she'd skip work entirely, watching them work and offering suggestions on how to do their jobs. Use this tool, don't put the camera there. She'd be having a blast.

The thing is, though, is that it's stupid. All of it is stupid. It would be to stand there with a radio, or even just a phone, and mess with their EMF readings, or whisper ominously behind the tree while their microphones picked up on sounds that could be anything from the wind to a bird flapping its wings. I could just go down there any time I wanted and mess with them.

I won't, though.

I'm not a child.

I have ice cream to eat, and misery to wallow in, and the hair dye has another ten minutes before I can wash it out. I’m not petty, and I won’t mess with innocent people just because I’m mad at Josie. I don’t even have to get groceries today, so there’s no reason for me to leave the apartment until tomorrow.

My phone buzzes, and my stomach drops. I'm still trying to unsubscribe to all the people Josie followed on my various social media accounts, but I'm still getting notifications one way or another.

New Announcement by the Haunted Archives Team -- [Town Name] Cemetery and the history of Lucille Bloom coming this week! Make sure to tune in next Saturday at 8pm EST for a live Q&A after the video drops.

The post featured a photo of the crew in a graveyard. My graveyard.

So that's who they were.I grit my teeth, and glare at the Haunted Archivists across the street. Josie loves these guys -- a pair of paranormal investigators that pride themselves on emphasizing fact over sensationalism, and using a variety of tools to find ghosts and blah blah blah.

For half a second, I feel bad for Josie. She’s got double shifts all week, so she won’t be able to get online in time. And then I think, Good. She deserves to miss it. I still have her dowsing rods and pendulum in my kitchen just waiting to be picked up, and reminding me of her every time I go to get a drink.

But that’s Josie. These people are just doing their jobs, minding their own business in a place that just so happens to be right across the street from me. I’m not going to go mess with people just because I’m angry and hurt and a skeptic who lives next to the graveyard.

I don’t need to leave my apartment.

I eat my ice cream, watching them putter around down there among the headstones.

I don’t need to go to the graveyard tonight.

#writeblr #wip #graveyard lesbians #gl chapter #writing #writers on tumblr #wlw fiction #lgbtq fiction #supernatural romance

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