#i don’t want to lose

[screaming--agony]

Dear Diary,

Sometimes I wonder if my insecurities will win the battle I don’t want to lose.

#dear diary #heart vs mind #anxiety #struggling #ptsd #overwhelmed #insecurities #at a loss for words #dark thoughts #depression #never good enough #there will always be better #i don’t want to lose #hanging by a thread #alone #invisible #i can’t breathe #the struggle is real

[dragonpyre]

Batman: and this is my precious son

Red Hood: FUCK you

Batman: he bites sometimes but we still love him

#based on the fact that Bruce is always going ‘I love you Jason’ and Jason’s just NOT having it #albeit Bruce never actually says the WORDS ‘I love you’ but it’s heavily implied in the ‘I can’t lose you’ and ‘I don’t want you dead’ #Jason Todd #Bruce Wayne #Batman #red hood #dc #dc comics #text post #batdad

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

It’s not that Jason forgot, per se.

But between smuggling a toddler out of the League of Assassins, trekking halfway across the world, and finding a suitable hiding place that’s also child friendly… well, it kind of slipped his mind that he’s supposed to be… dead.

Something that comes back to bite him in the ass when he takes Dami out for some ice cream and just so happens to run into non other than Brucie-fucking-Wayne

#look I’ve found a new fave trope and it’s Brucie Wayne having to keep up his act while internally LOSING HIS SHIT #Jason isn’t very into the whole revenge thing here #his mind is 85 parts ‘keep Dami safe’ 5 parts ‘kill joker asap’ and 10 parts ‘avoid bats at any cost’ #Jason doesn’t know who Damian’s father is #dealer’s choice if Jason establishes himself as Dami’s dad or older brother #his build certainly makes him look old enough #if you don’t look at his baby face lol #Jason runs into Brucie and goes straight into survival mode #Damian who is very observant for a toddler immediately clocks Brucie as THREAT based on Jason’s reaction #Brucie blue screens and desperately tries not to lose Jason in the crowd #jason is absolutely trying to lose Brucie in the crowd #while clutching Damian like his life depends on it #for all he knows it does #the visceral terror that your pseudo dad will take away your little brother/baby #Bruce who just wants to know if he’s hallucinating again: W A I T #jason who is terrified of being put in Arkham for killing people: no FUCKING WAY #hm maybe Jason plays the ‘I’m not Jason’ game again #it’s not gonna hold for long #but Bruce absolutely thinks that Damian is Jason’s bio child for a while and he’s on the WARPATH #Jason was sixteen when he died and never showed any interest in dating so literally every red flag is waving in brucie’s mind simultaneousl #or maybe Jason manages to get away and all Brucie is left with is the memory of his supposedly dead son #running away from him #and clutching a tiny kid #prompts #jason todd #batfamily #Damian wayne #batdad #brucie wayne

[kiwiaok]

writing about neil josten is so hard because he’s such a multidimensional character. there you have a man who has no problem being a murderer but is terrified of being a monster. a man who finds others’ humanity interesting as a foreign concept and simultaneously crumbles at a kind touch. a man who made peace with death yet fights so violently to survive. a man who is still almost a kid even though he never really had a chance to be one. how am I supposed to accurately portray a man who’s been everywhere and seen everything yet still knows so little?

#and that's not even mentioning all his other personalities lmao #trying to write fanfics and slowly losing my sanity #I really don’t want to mischaracterise him but he’s making it so damn difficult #neil josten #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #ao3 #kiwiaok

[percymawce-arts]

Some malevolent sketches because I love the college au but I was neglecting the lovely lovely canon

Had to sneak a little jarthur/private eyes in there ofc

#malevolent podcast #malevolent #arthur lester #arthur malevolent #jarthur #oscar malevolent #detective noel #noel malevolent #blind faith #idk what the Noel ship names are #I don’t really know what happened here #I was drawing Noel #because I wanted to #and then suddenly things were getting out of hand #anyway enjoy Arthur doing lighter tricks and all of the men in his life losing their minds over it #and John getting the attention he deserves

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: trauma / mind control / separation anxiety / autophobia / ]

Something that kills me is that there’s no way in hell that Raph’s debilitating separation anxiety isn’t infinitely worse after the movie. The trauma of being Krangified like that, all alone, would probably regress him so hard.

Not to mention his worries of getting “weird” would likely get mixed up with his experience while Krangified - aka, he loses full awareness, and when he’s brought “back” it’s to the understanding that he attacked his own family (of course not to his own fault at all, but how much of that does he believe?)

The fear of being alone would take on another layer and become a fear of himself.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #rise raph #trauma / #mind control / #separation anxiety / #autophobia / #codependency mention in tags / #after the invasion he checks up on the others multiple times and guiltily hopes one of them asks to stay with him for the night #he’s the big brother so it feels - wrong. to ask them to stay with him. #but his plushies don’t have heartbeats. and neither did the krang #and guiltily - guiltily - Raph is relieved when someones doing bad enough to stay with him each night #he doesn’t know it but the others see he needs it so they offer #man idk I just want Raph to be safe and happy #me having Raph feels at 3 am #I raise you: codependent Raph and Leo post invasion #they both dealt with losing the other #going from fighting and high tensions pre invasion to being scared to leave each others’ side post invasion #god wait this concept is so sad wait #but it works #may address this in a later post/fic ngl

[girl-afraid1]

do i want a girlfriend who is my age or do i want this old man ?

#girlblogging #teacher confessions #male teacher crush #bisexual #sapphic #girlhood #im just a girl #i can’t decide #this is a girlblog #hell is a teenage girl #coquette #girlblog #cinnamon girl #teacher attachment #wlw #im losing my mind #i don’t like my mind #lana del ray aka lizzy grant #coquette dollete #nymph3t #nymphett #live laugh girlblog #girlblogger #girlblog aesthetic #gaslight gatekeep girlblog #this is what makes us girls #male tc #i want a girlfriend #please hmu #male teacher x female student

[elvispresley]

Here's the original demo of Now And Then

#it gets deleted on youtube #with the original lyrics too 🥹 #i’m pretty frustrated that they didn’t add the i don’t want to lose you part. it’s what made the song so emotional. #if the new version only added the instruments (without taking away lyrics) it would’ve been phenomenal #john lennon #now and then #solo #audio #original #the beatles

[mculane]

Oh so they’re gay gay…

LOOK AT MOBIUS’ FACE…. MAN IS IN PAINFUL LOVE

#they’re the #I just don’t want to lose you and I want you to be safe and okay and I’ll do anything to make you feel better #they’re in love your honor #gay #fictional gays #fictional ships #lokius #mobius #loki #loki season 2 #loki laufeyson #mobius m mobius #bisexual loki #gay gay homosexual gay

[dayurno]

what gets me re: kevin with jean is that kevin is seriously the worst. like we see in-text specifically that kevin used to lean into jean’s space to whisper to him and it seems it was common enough to him that he didn’t think much of it (he did it once for asking jean to teach him french then again to make jean promise not to off himself), he said horrible things like ‘it could be our secret’ and ‘i don’t want to lose you’, he wrote jean memories and notes in postcards, he bought jean silly little magnets, even up to the point of tsc canon he was cradling jean’s face and gently touching his hand. so flirty! no wonder jean was down so horribly. no wonder nora sakavic said kevin was always the problem child

#hhey stop kevin stop stop giving me a reason to live if you dont like me back im serious #i know it wasnt on purpose and that only makes it worse to me like he wasnt trying at all #he wasnt actively making an effort to get jean to fall for him. that’s sick and twisted #hes so earnest 😭 ‘you’re worth it’ ‘every night’ ‘i don’t want to lose you’ LOOKING ASS #kevin’s girlish and vulnerable heart mon dieu #its sick its seriously sick #jean didnt stand a chance. literal hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby ship dynamic #unstoppable force vs VERY moveable object #cat and bird locked in a cage together ship dynamic #could any of us truly say that we would react better or more wisely if kevin day treated us like his highschool girlfriend #txt #kevjean

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

holy SHIT put jonathan “if i have to let my undead wife fuck me into vampirism than as god is my witness i absolutely will” harker in the wife guy hall of fame and give bram stoker a medal of achievement in deranged horniness for this which i think amidst all the weird eroticized terror scenes and all the insane shit about body fluids and penetration is the first thing in this victorian novel i am well and truly shocked to find there. this is…….. SO hot, ESPECIALLY coming immediately after the most explicitly and specifically christian passage in the book thus far, i am genuinely amazed. everyone’s talking about god’s will and judgment day and sacred wafers and jonathan’s taking all this in and deciding: i choose fucking my damned wife into undead eternity. THAT is fucking ROMANCE!!!!!!!!

#dracula daily #i caved and started reading today’s entry from last year’s post as soon as i woke up #both for dracula suspense reasons and bc i wanted something to do in bed while #i waited for my meds to kick in #but my impression of the contract of etiquette is like #don’t post spoilers for future days in the dracula daily tag #but if you go into the dracula daily tag after the email’s gone out and before you’ve read it you’re accepting spoilers for #that day #and i am losing my MIND this is INCREDIBLE

[bevsi]

it’s really funny when people comment “I don’t go here but-“ on my OC art. don’t go where? lesbianism?

#bevfoolery #It will be a real long form comic at some point I swear I just don’t want to lose steam or run out of buffer etc etc

[rintoki]

a a a a a a a a a

playing dress up with aventurine. where he’s your pretty little doll. trying on clothes because he likes to show off how pretty he looks in everything. except the clothes gets progressively raunchier… and sluttier… and more revealing. until he finally comes out in just lingerie, expecting some kind of reaction from you.

but you’ve just been looking on with a mild smile on your face, barely even a chuckle as he climbs onto your lap. aventurine can feel the familiar anxiety in his belly, the doubt growing in his mind. but he can’t turn back now; instead he grabs your hands, bringing them to his waist as he puts on the overconfident expression he knows all too well.

he spills his honeyed words, his eyes drawing you in. he’s far too pretty—gorgeous even—for you to ignore him like that. so he toys with the loosely tied bow across his chest; it wasn’t meant to stay tied for long, one small tug and it all comes undone.

he feels your thumbs rubbing along his waist, hands squeezing slightly and aventurine feels right on the edge. so, so close, he’s almost got you. the thrill of winning just within reach, just a little more…

“you look amazing in this one as well, i’m sure your lover will deeply enjoy it,” your easy smile and relaxed frame gave nothing away, toying with the silky fabric of the lingerie.

and he nearly stumbles as you move to stand, signaling the end of your little ‘meeting’. you’re not sure what he’s looking to gain from doing this, especially since he has yet to propose some kind of deal to you. however, it was getting late, and it wouldn’t look too good on either of you if you were seen leaving his residence so late in the night.

“if there’s no other outfits to show me, i think i’ll take my leave then. have a good night, aventurine.”

you’re gone before he can even think of an excuse to make you stay. or rather, if him dressing up like such in front of you isn’t enough to get you to stay, what else is a man to do?

#turns out #you’re denser than a bag of bricks #oopsies #you’re just coworkers #friends if we’re being generous :) #did i cook with this or am i actually tweaking rn i don’t know #sometimes u follow a train of thought and it leads you to funky town #anyway #i want him to be desperate #wracking his brain thinking HOW DO I GET THEM TO WANT MEEEEEEE wails and cries #he’s a peacock of course #he only shows off his pretty feathers and draws you in #but you have to be the attacker heh #he can’t make the first move what is he desperate (he is) #the first person to fall is the loser obviously #and aventurine never loses #six.writes #hsr aventurine #aventurine honkai star rail #dom!reader #sub aventurine #honkai star rail

[virgothozul]

I-

hum.

#That 21 one questions meme #I don’t know if I should feel sorry yet. #Maybe there are several reasons why the people tried to discourage me to play this- #Have I ruined the thing for you ? #If so ; I’m moderately sorry ; also it’s never too late to unfollow -you know that right ? #I have forgotten many many things. But a few - probably meaningless or barely relevant - things seem a little clearer to me. #I hope this year will go ok. I don’t want to completely lose my mind. That’s my single wish right now. #these tags make less and less sense. #Don’t you find it easier to organise ur thoughts this way tho ? Little entries of words. #disco elysium #I need to say; I’m only day2 but if something ANYTHING happens to Kim .. #I’ll gun everyone down in this hellhole

[firstfullmoon]

Franz Wright, “Publication Date”

#it is my own private national i hate myself and want to die day which means the next day i will love my life and want to live forever #literature will lose sunlight will win don’t worry #w #poetry #franz wright

[turtleblogatlast]

Fun little silly thought I had about the Lair Games and specifically Leo deliberately losing is all the reasons he could have for doing so.

My favorite headcanon for his main motivation is that Splinter wasn’t proud of him anymore.

I imagine that, in the beginning, winning the Lair Games was Leo’s opportunity to shine. He wasn’t artistic or the baby of the family like Mikey, wasn’t a tech genius who created amazing inventions like Donnie, wasn’t the eldest who was insanely strong and dependable like Raph. So he had to shine somewhere else- anywhere else- and what better way to get attention than to be a winner? A champion?

And then he won too much. And it wasn’t special anymore. He got too big headed, too cocky, he knew this was his element and he ran with it.

Splinter’s words of congratulations slowly petered out. Suddenly, there was no real reason to win.

Winning feels empty when the only one cheering you on is yourself.

So- Leo schemed. And he’s a great schemer, fooling his whole family (and Donnie did deserve a win- people were way happier when he won.)

He even gave up his prized possession! His room!

Though he knows his brothers probably think it’s a bad prize. A terrible one, even.

Leo doesn’t sleep much as is, though. So Dad’s snores were more comforting than anything. It was reassuring to hear him so clearly alive and close by.

Even if the distance between them was larger than Leo’d like.

He’d just have to find something else, something more to show his dad that Leo was someone to trust, to be proud of, to love.

He gets his chance soon after, when he needs to pull off a plan against Big Mama at his dad’s side. Leo can only hope this victory is one that has a lasting effect when his father looks at him with pride once more.

Victory, for Leo, is a pretty loaded term.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #everything Leos do almost always ties back to Splinter send tweet #anyway imo if I was Leo winning every lair game I would be bored as hell #and add on to my own dad joining in with my brothers on being disappointed when I do well? #yeeaaah id be my own biggest fan too #tbh Leo’s big brain plays both in Lair Games and Many Unhappy Returns are his real victories #I will say I was proud of Donnie for doing so well! #he deserves a win definitely #but looking at this from Leo’s perspective and realizing this is JUST before the ‘why don’t any of you trust me’ line hurts #wanna make this hurt more? #how about Leo purposefully wanting to lose…but he was a bit miffed that DONNIE out of anyone won #why? #because Leo makes jokes all the time but Splinter says DONNIE is the funny one #because althroughout Many Unhappy Returns Splinter says how he’d prefer if DONNIE were there instead of Leo #makes me wonder y’know? if there’s any scratchy feelings there #nothing that Leo has against Donnie so much as the assumption that Splinter would prefer him over Leo #which if I was Leo…I’d definitely think so even if Splinter absolutely loves his sons equally #just as Donnie probably assumes the opposite as well #splinter bro plz talk to your sons #but yeah victory for Leo imo is equivalent to acknowledgement #just *seeing* him #so he very easily gets wrapped up in the obsession for being the champion #*lou jitsu* always wins and Splinter wants them more like Lou Jitsu so LEO has to always win or… #or…