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#i do be kicking my feet twirling my hair every time he shows up though
cowboysmp3 · 1 year
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sorry not to continue to talk about ace attorney but during AA2 when edgeworth comes back and is like oh no stupid wright u will simply never understand me and my motives u can’t get it u can’t comprehend it IS HE TALKING ABOUT PERSUING THE TRUTH??? THE THING THAT PHOENIX TOLD HIM TO DO IN TJE FIRST PLACE???
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polarisjisung · 4 months
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KISSES WITH NCT DREAM
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pairings: nct dream × fem! reader
genre: fluff
warnings: mentions of giving hickeys (for jeno) + reader is implied to have long(ish) hair + use of pet names
notes: a little different to usual but i want to post more often and I love reading these little headcanons! although I do need to switch it up from all the fluff 🫠
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MARK-cozy morning kisses:
mark loves lazy mornings, holding you by the waist to make sure you don't have a chance to escape the warmth of the duvet you're all wrapped up in. sure your hair's a little messy but mark loves the domesticity of waking up next to you. you'll make every attempt to make your way out of the confines of your shared double bed but mark ultimately wins, shutting you up with a kiss when he feels like you're talking too much
"mark baby, please I have work" mark could not care less— really, they should've made it illegal to work weekends
"you have a boyfriend too" he'd tuck the hair falling from your ponytail behind your ear and you're a sucker for the way he'd let his palm rest over your cheek as he pulls you into his chest underneath the covers
"markie, I'll get fired" you know you'd lost the battle the second mark let his eyes land on your lips, the ones that were still shining from the left over lip mask you'd applied the night before, but you still try to bolt out of the covers as fast as you can, undoubtedly you'll get pulled back in by mark just a few seconds later
"don't run from me baby" he's all pouty, you know its all just a facade to get a couple extra minutes in bed with you but saying no to mark just wasn't one of your capabilities
when you finally sigh in defeat,
"just 5 minutes" with a roll of your eyes, he's peppering sweet kisses all over your face, placing a couple pecks on your lips too
"I'll take 5 minutes"
best believe he'll take a lot more than just 5
RENJUN-stupid adorable smiley kisses:
kisses with renjun start out ever so gentle, a quick touch of your lips before he's checking to see your reaction. doesn't matter how long you've been dating, renjun still gives you butterflies every damn time, and he's the same with you, all giddy and kicking his feet, so you both start out so smiley against each other's lips, soft and sweet. on occasion renjun likes to go for deep, more meaningful passionate kisses, and the second you see his starry eyes staring up at you, grin formed into a soft smile, you know his hand is going to reach for your jaw and his lips are going to move rushed against yours
there's a sparkle in his eyes, a glint that tells you renjun won't stop at a few pecks— naturally you don't mind at all
"my love?" he coos, looking up at you, taking in your features as though he's trying to commit every detail of your pretty face to memory, your moles, the shape of your lips and your sparkling eyes, he would memorise it all in that very moment
you swear he looks at you as though you've painted the sky and hung the stars, and every time you catch yourself wondering what you've done to be lucky enough to deserve him
"I love you" as those words slip so effortlessly out of his lips, he'll guide you with a hand against the back of your head to meet his lips again, with more urgency this time
"I love you too" you'd breathe out, an oppurtunity you'd never miss
JENO-neck kisses
jeno loves your lips, kisses, pecks, full on make out sessions— he doesn't mind. but every time he finds your hair tied back and your neck on display he sees it as the perfect chance to show that you're absolutely not single, very much taken in fact. jeno finds joy in carving his initials into your neck or leaving small, unintentional patterns behind sucking and gently biting at the warm skin on your neck. the kisses eventually trail their way up across the bone of your jaw, his hands tugging at the ends of your hair as he twirls it between his fingers. jeno wants it all, quick kisses will do if you're out and about but the second you're home, kissing is at least a 20 minute task.
when you're out, be it hanging out with friends or running errands together, especially in the summer, when you like to tie your hair back a lot more frequently, jeno finds himself going absolutely feral, he's like a child begging his mother to go home
your back is against the wall the second you step through the door, jeno's lips impatiently capturing yours. he's a literal animal, he'll devour any lipstick you're wearing like it was never even there, before his kisses land on your collarbone.
"knew what you were doing when you tied your hair up baby hmm?" jeno likes to think you do it on purpose, to mess with him just a little, admittedly you do, but if you could be honest it had been solely unintentional this time
"come on jeno" your hands land on his chest, almost avoiding the hungry search of his lips for the skin of your neck "didn't know you were so needy"
you like to tease him, his cute agitated kisses becoming a little more intense at your words
equally jeno finds no shame in just how crazy he is for you
"needy for you baby, only you"
something about his urgency mixed with his loyalty forces you to forget about the hickeys you'll spend hours covering up over the next few weeks
HAECHAN- tip of your nose kisses:
haechan loves a makeout session as much as the next person, and despite his forward and bold attitude, sometimes the hard-core kisses just aren't what he's looking for. his favourite solution? kissing the tip of your nose, he likes booping your nose here and there as it is, but in his softest moments, where you find his eyes staring your way in pure awe, haechan's eyes travel to the tip of your nose immediately. it doesn't take long for his lips to follow— a tentative kiss to make sure you're in the mood to be absolutely bombarded with his love
forehead kisses are a close second, and eventually haechan gives in to delicate tender kisses on your lips, his fingers interlaced with yours
"have I ever told you I love you?" kisses with haechan are playful, so you can always tell he's in the mood when that adorable toothy grin shines it's way at you
"multiple times hyuck, every day actually" you'd respond, so giggly that he swears he's falling in love with you all over again, he's not sure if it's possible quite frankly, considering he thinks the same thought everyday
"that's what you deserve baby, I love you" he'd waddle his way over to you on the sofa, that smirk on his face that tells you everything you need to know— the kiss lands perfectly in the centre of your nose, your face soon hidden away in your hands
"don't get shy on me now baby, you know what I wanna hear" he's already trying to get another look at your pretty eyes and when he successfully gets your hands to slide down your face, places a chaste kiss to your forehead
"I love you too hyuck"
"can't hear you buttercup, you're gonna have to show me that pretty face so I can lip read" he's a little too proud of his words, and when you do let your hands down, his lips are all over yours
JAEMIN-lip gloss kisses:
jaemin is a sucker for those shiny, perfect glossy lips of yours, he's a sucker for you full stop, but your lips are practically a superpower.
now jaemin hates strawberries but that pretty pink lip gloss of yours with a little shimmer and that strawberry scent is his absolute favourite, he swears it makes your eyes pop 10x more it's perfect— you're perfect
he loves showering you with affection, be it hugs or kisses, holding your hand or whispering sweet nothings into your ear, jaemin treats you like an absolute princess and when his princess is all dressed up and so absolutely gorgeous, he can't help but ask for one thing for himself. not that jaemin doesn't love seeing you lounging around casually, he thinks you look gorgeous all the time, but seeing the confidence that oozes from your being when you're ready for a big event has his stomach doing backflips
his arms wrap around your waist quicker than you can twist the tube of your lip gloss shut— really there was no point going through your extensive lip combo routine because you should've known jaemin would eat it all up
"my sweet sweet girl, do you think I could have a kiss?" jaemin likes to get extra affectionate in these moments, clinging to you with a smile that reaches his eyes, just to make sure there's no way you can say no
"but nana my lip gloss" you're always trying to make excuses, really it was just because lip products were starting to get expensive, but you don't mind blowing more money on them if it meant you'd have a love like jaemin
"hmm, I'll buy more for you, just give me a kiss pretty please?"
you only make one more attempt at stalling, you know better that you're not winning this battle
"but nana it'll get all over you"
he shrugs, so unbothered you swear you hear your heartbeat ring in your ears
"I like it like that"
jaemin loves the way you tenderly hold his face before you seal his lips in a kiss, when you pull away his lips are glittery and pink just like yours, but his smile seems to have grown ten fold
"you look so pretty nana, my princess" he nods
"your princess, all yours" before locking your lips against his once again
CHENLE-spiderman kisses:
chenle loves the movie, chenle loves you, to him it just made sense and the spiderman kiss has easily become his favourite way to greet you as he walked through the door.
most days chenle would find you seated on the couch, finishing up a project for work when he'd get home, his hand would wrap under your chin and slightly over your neck with ease, lips locking with yours momentarily
"I missed you" he'd whisper, every time as he pulled away from you, placing his things down to a side and slipping into the empty space beside you. his arm would find its rightful place resting over your shoulder before his lips would brush over yours again
"I missed you too"
the both of you would bask in the warm intimacy of the moment, something between you, only for you, that the both of you would secretly look forward to day in and day out
to chenle that was enough, that daily welcome home kiss was practically routine and it was a routine he'd grown used to, practically to the point where when he'd walk in and you weren't working away at a desk or on the sofa, anywhere he could easily guide your head backwards and press his lips to yours, the rest of his day would be ruined
dramatic, would be the best way to describe a kiss deprived chenle
JISUNG-hand kisses:
to jisung kisses are one of the truest levels of intimacy, they come with philosophical and ethical discussions and debates, prophesies of where the universe might be heading in ten years or why you shouldn't take things in life for granted
jisung liked to think, and he appreciated being able to share and discuss his thoughts with you, to him that seemed like one of the purest forms of love, being unashamed to share even the most wild and crazy theories with each other
he admired your passion, the way you'd get lost between your own thoughts, in your own world as you explained a concept to him, one of the many reasons jisung loved you, and in those moments a press of his lips to the knuckles of your hand, already intertwined with his, seemed perfect, like the cherry on top
"I think it's crazy how we don't realise so much of what goes on around us" you're sharing one of those moments of yours again, when you feel like you'd noticed something that made a big impact on your point of view in life and jisung can't help but let that gummy smile flash over his lips, his thumb rubbing up and down the outer surface of your hand
it's beautiful to him, how your legs are laying over his and how you rest your head against his chest and his fingers rake through your hair while you find yourselves in this moment, for a second jisung stops listening, or at least attentively so, trying to take in this fleeting moment of what he thought was the most important part of loving someone
"sung, you seem out of it?" you'd ask the question so concerned, despite a little guilt that he hadn't been able to listen to you, jisung would smile softly and shake his head
"just thinking about how lucky I am to have you"
and his hand would lift yours, quickly pressing a feathery kiss to your knuckles
"I love you" he'd say, a phrase he didn't say often, scared it would lose its meaning, but one he'd say just enough that you'd known how much you meant to him
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saerotonins · 8 months
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actor!kento headcanons
ft. nanami kento x reader
content warnings: fluff, general actor headcanons, implied nanami x reader
wc: 749
note: i really have fun doing this, let me know if you guys want more for other characters! 🫶🏻
jjk actor au masterlist
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 as an actor:
i feel like he would be more humorous and laid back than his character
usually the one who starts teasing his closest castmates (probably haibara and gojo)
treats the 1st and 2nd year casts as his kids
especially the twins, yuuji and sukuna
acts like a father figure to them on set and takes care of them whenever they had a very exhausting scene to film (like fight scenes and such)
he's also the one who breaks the twins up whenever they have playful banter with each other
puts up with gojo more outside their characters and is actually tolerating his antics on set 
will sometimes have a giggle fit whenever someone makes a light mistake during filming like voice cracks and stumbling during fight scenes
believe it or not, he's really the type to join gojo and geto in creating light pranks to the other casts
when a scene needs to be filmed before the sun even goes up, he pulls up to the shoot with coffee and the casts' (even the crew!) favorite drinks
knows their coffee and drink orders BY HEART
the producers love him because he's such a sweetheart
whenever he smiles (an example is during that mahito scene where he was trapped in his domain expansion and in the restaurant with ino), the crew is literally the definition of "got me kicking my feet, giggling, and twirling my hair" LOL literally big fans of him
speaking of mahito, people are surprised to know that they're very good friends and actually went to the same middle school
he is usually the one that he practices his lines with aside from his spouse
he CANNOT for the life of him practice his lines with gojo and geto alone because they will have a giggle fit every time 😭 they can't take it seriously pls
also shares his bentos made by you to his co-stars which they really REALLY love
he also takes his physic very very seriously and works out on a daily basis but it doesn't mean he won't enjoy a good cheat meal (which is also very often because whenever filming gets busy, they resort to take outs) hence he compensates by working out more
gojo really likes to touch and squish his biceps from time to time istg this man
believe it or not, he has an instagram, but his face is barely posted unless it's a promotion or magazine shoot
most of his posts includes foods, behind the scenes of some shoots, and his spouse, you
fans are raving and gushing about it
he also has highlights that are just food, travels, behind the scenes on the shows he is in
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as a husband: 
unlike his character, he stays to work overtime most of the time (not that he wants to, it's just he NEEDS to) which you understood head on before you married him and before his stardom 
you usually prepare his bentos before he goes to work 
which is most the time also appreciated by his workmates so you make more portions to satisfy their stomachs as well
but whenever his hectic schedule and yours clash that you don't have the time to prepare him one, he settles with takeouts and convenient store foods which is enough to fill him up but it just does not hit the same :((
he practices his lines with you as a form pf quality time, his schedule is so packed that he takes every single free moment with you as a bonding experience
but sometimes he doesn't because he hates giving you spoilers and wants his scenes to be a surprise for you (*wink wink* hair grab scene *wink wink*)
the kids, the 1st and 2nd year casts (and maybe even gojo), goes to your shared home to crash if they're too tired to go home from the shooting site if your house is the closest
the 1st year trio, especially yuuji, goes by your home often whenever he gets easily bored 
even though you're not the part of the crew, for how often they go to your home, you also treat them as your kids (yes, including gojo)
whenever they're around, it's always so loud and lively but both you and nanami are not complaining 
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Hi I saw you ask for daryl requests so i was wondering if u could do a daryl fic where the reader and daryl are getting drunk together one night in alexandria and they’re talking about past relationships and they start talking about types and the reader basically says daryl’s her type without saying it if u know what i mean? and it’s just cute angst and skinny love? love your writing so much btw :)
༉‧₊˚. 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 || 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐱𝐨𝐧
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― pairings: daryl dixon x plus size!reader
― era: early season 5/pre-negan
― summary: a night of drinking turns into talking about your types, and you can’t help but reveal that daryl is yours.
― warnings: mutual pining, awkward romance, daryl's habit of going quiet, a little overthinking, generally none! It's all fluff from there!
― wc: 1376
⋆ a/n: every time i look at my inbox, i die a little inside because of how absolutely horrible i am at answering requests but so far, i've been really trying my best! i really liked how this one turned out and i hope you do too! thank you for loving my writing, it means so much truly!
masterlist | AO3
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Alexandria, hopefully your forever home and a new beginning. 
You were deeply aware of your family’s concerns and distrust for the community and its inhabitants, that they had their senses turned on to hyperawareness mode despite having been shown nothing but kindness so far. You understood their concerns though, because you had to undergo the atrocities that were Terminus before you had gotten to this supposed heaven on earth. You were lucky to have so many people by your side when it happened.. to have Daryl.
There was a hopeful ignorance when it came to your relationship with Daryl. You were crushing on him. Hard. Like, full twirling your hair and kicking your feet kind - only mentally of course, but you had a moment of weakness back in your cell at the prison. Despite having known Daryl since the Quarry, there had been no progress in your relationship.. romantically. He had shown no signs of interest, only gracing you with the reddening of his ears whenever you’d playfully flirt with him or call him a cutesy nickname. You were only able to hide your playful affections behind the fact that Carol teased him like that too, so it would appear your words didn’t come with a deeper meaning.
Sometimes you wished you could stop hiding behind your cowardice, but now, you weren’t so sure. 
The warmth of the alcohol coursed through your body as you sat next to Daryl on the porch of the home everyone shared with the rest of your family. You had snagged it from Deanna’s party once you had seen Daryl hadn’t made an appearance even though it was kind of painfully obvious to everyone else he wouldn’t show. The only reason you had showed up was because you had dressed quite nicely, a sundress kissing the skin of your full thighs as you searched for your loverboy. You found him perched on the railing, sharpening away at an arrow when your approaching form caught his attention.
“Care to join me?” You grinned as you waved the bottle in the air.
There you sat, both of your backs to the side of the house as his leather laid over your bare legs. He had insisted that he didn’t want you to get cold, forever the southern gentleman.
Your past conversation had grown to become a stalemate, so, your fuzzy brain refusing to let the energy die, stupidly asked him, “Do you think any of the girls here are cute?” You desperately tried to play off your bold question as just simply teasing him. He shot you a surprised look from the corner of his eye before looking back ahead, taking the wine from your hand gently and holding the bottle by the neck of it.
“Nah.” He said, before taking a heavy swig.
“Oh.” You nodded to yourself, the feeling of relief settling in your gut before he handed the drink back to you. “I don’t blame you, my last relationship before all this was..” You shook your head, “So shitty.” You exhaled. 
Daryl cleared his throat before speaking. “Do ya.. Do ya wanna talk about it?” He asked unsurely. “There’s not much to talk about, y’know? The whole situation was pretty cut and dry. We get together, we’re in the honeymoon stage, I start to notice I’ve never met any of his friends or family, he lies and I believe him because I assume he loves me, then, I catch him cheating.” You finish with a sigh and take your turn of consuming the alcoholic beverage. “It’s okay though,” You start once again, “Because in the end I realize he wasn’t even my type.” You shrug to yourself with a laugh.
“Speaking of which,” You turn your attention towards the archer next to you. “What’s your type?” 
Your question catches him off guard enough that he let out a surprised choked noise from the back of his throat. “I dunno.” He answers, but he can feel a blush slowly creeping up the back of his neck and the tips of his ears. “Oh, c’mon!” You said with a playful scoff. “I know you have this whole, ‘Southern Gentleman,’ thing going, but everyone has a type. So, don’t even try to bullshit me, Daryl.” He looked at you then looked back ahead, straightening his sitting position.
“I guess.. Someone who knows how’ta fight, brave, uh-” He was growing more uncomfortable by the second, but not because he felt pressured to answer you, but because he was afraid that he might’ve been too obvious about how he felt for you. What? Does he just straight up say you’re his type? That he hadn’t even entertained the thought of other women because you were the only woman on his mind?
“I don’ care about what she looks like. Ain’ shallow like tha’.” With a nod, you pursed your lips in contentment at his answer. He swallowed nervously, “Since yer quizzin’ me, what about you? Since ya said yer ex wa’nt yer type.”
“Well..” You began. “I want someone who’s strong, and kind. A man that’s got some softness to him, y’know? All rough around the edges when inside he’s a big ol’ softy, just for me and his family.” You looked at him softly with a sheepish smile. “Now for looks,” You drank in his disheveled appearance, and suddenly Daryl felt like an ant burning under a microscope, his hands twitching at his sides with the need to suddenly fix his hair.
“Long hair, maybe shoulder-length. Crunealen eyes, the kind that you could get lost in if you stared for too long. Kind of a hard-ass, and very, very stubborn, but that’s only because he wants to keep everyone safe, even if that puts his life in danger a million times over.” You reached a shaky hand up, your motions never wavering despite the waves of nausea that were beginning to storm in your gut. You pushed a strand of hair out of the man’s face, tucking it behind his ear. “And..” You say breathlessly. “His name is Daryl Dixon.”
Daryl’s completely stunned into silence; what does he say? What does he do? You clearly feel the same way, so why won’t he move? Goddamnit, Daryl, move.
Your hand cupped his cheek, stroking his scruff with your thumb softly. Where did this sudden confidence come from? You were still reeling from your lady balls suddenly dropping as you waited anxiously for Daryl to say something, anything that would calm your racing heart and your spiraling head.
You let go of his cheek in embarrassment, a shadow of shame settled over your features as you looked like you were going to explode at any moment. God, how could you have overstepped like that? It was as though all of the wine that was in your system suddenly evaporated, the liquid courage burning away and leaving behind the same awkward person that was you.
“I’m sorry.” You said hastily, tugging his jacket off of your lap in preparation of standing up. 
Much to your surprise, Daryl gripped your wrist, gently tugging on your arm so that you would remain seated. “Don’ go.. ‘M jus’ surprised ‘s all.” His confession was shy, almost bashful as he gazed upon where his hand rested on your skin and let go. You didn’t allow him to do so, taking his hand and intertwining your fingers together. There was an adorable blush that spread from his ears to his neck that was only visible when the moon’s shine would ever so often grace his tanned skin.
“The good kind of surprised?” You asked hopefully. He nodded his head slowly, gazing into your eyes with a type of passion you had never seen before, at least never projected towards you; or maybe it had been there the whole time and you were just too deep into your head to notice, to notice how whenever you laughed he couldn’t help the small smile that graced his lips, how worried he’d be when you got hurt to the point that he didn’t know what to do with himself, and maybe one day he’d be able to tell you all of that.
“So, how about it, Dixon? Am I your type too?”
“To a T.” 
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ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @murdadixon
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chaithetics · 1 year
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i absolutely adore your stewy fic and have re-read it 50 times already 😭😭 would love a small sequel based on the 9th episode of him supporting the reader during the funeral and butting in to defend her/hold when she breaks down without caring about what other think, im not kidding when i say i’ve read it 50 times i can’t believe i’ve found a fic this good that’s touched the part of my brain obsessed with stewy and starches it to well i adore you
Don't Let Me Go
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Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x f (Roy) Reader
Word count: 2.9K
Author's note: THANK YOU SO MUCH NONNIE! I ADORE AND LOVE YOU! Every time I think about this request or read it, I'm kicking my feet and twirling my hair. This is so sweet and just the highest praise ever! WOW. I appreciate you, it was so sweet and I really hope you enjoy this! Please let me know what you think and feel free to message me! I love grief-related shows/movies (I love to be in my feels) so this was quite the interesting one. I apologise for any sadness this fic causes. I have more requests that aren't sad dw! Always open to Stewy requests as well. This can be read as a stand-alone/sequel to Furtive Hands. This also HAS NOT BEEN PROOFREAD lol. I hope you enjoy :)
Chapter/content warning: established/secret relationship, GRIEF, GRIEF, funeral, some fluff but just funeral grief and supportive Stewy.
The last week had been miserable, there was no other way to describe it or to do it justice. It should be raining, that would make sense for the funeral of such a commanding and depressing man, there also should’ve been thunder and lightning. Now that would’ve done justice for the thunderous man that your father was but maybe there was no thunder in the sky because it all left with him. 
You’re sitting in the backseat of the car with Shiv right in front of you as you wait for your brothers, both of the Roy daughters are dressed head to toe in black and a fine picture of grief. You’d gladly taken the backseat, it was worth the small risk of motion sickness, it meant it would be easier to distance yourself from any potential, yet inevitable drama. 
Shiv had a glassy expression that was hard to read, you picked up that there was something there that wasn’t just grief. You sat up a bit and leaned over closer, so your arms were resting on the back of her seat. 
“Are you okay?” You asked softly. 
Shiv’s head quickly turned to look at you, grief was there, some unshed tears in her eyes and she looked like a deer in headlights. Her lip trembled for a second and then she sighed and her blue eyes pierced yours. 
“Full disclosure…?” 
“Go.” You immediately replied and Shiv’s body moved more into your direction. 
“I really uh, fucked things up… Ken found out and Mencken, well he’s a form of stabbing a knife in return.” She breathed out and her eyes quickly left yours as she looked down at her body. “And I’m fucking pregnant, I-I told Tom and well he thought it was a fucking tactic.” She humourlessly chuckles as her eyes move to focus on the ceiling of the car. 
“Holy shit, Shiv.” You moved closer off your seat to rest your head on the top of the back of the seat dividing you two and put your hands out to hold hers, squeezing them softly and doing your best to genuinely smile for her. “I’m sorry, that’s a fucking lot. But congratulations! Congratulations? Should I be saying congratulations? If not we can go and sort it out, I’ll go with you if you want. Anything you need.” 
Shiv nodded as she kept her hand in yours and used her free hand to rub at her face a little. “I thought about it but I’m going to keep it. It’s fine. Thank you though. I’m planning to tell mom and that today so yeah.” 
“Thanks for telling me.” You responded giving her hand another squeeze and she nodded. After a few seconds, she let go of your hand and turned back around in her seat and not long after that your brothers joined you both. 
*******************
It had been an awkward car ride, you’d sunk into your seat, looking out the window as Roman and Shiv argued. You didn’t say a word, Kendall had eventually intervened and called for a truce which was agreed upon. Kendall had discussed Rava leaving the city with the kids which you thought was justified and you struggled to not call Kendall out, having to bite your tongue and fully focus your gaze on the windows. Right now was not the right time for sibling arguments. You’re sure that Kendall saw your pointed expression before looking out the window again. 
This had been tougher than you’d imagined. Roman had immediately broken during the speech, everything that hadn’t come out of him did then. Kendall had taken over, with a speech that had been well received but genuinely made you uncomfortable. Ever since you’d all sat down you’d been close to Roman, one hand gently on his back and the other hand holding his, he had a tight grip on it but he was doing slightly better now. Well, he was visibly. 
Each sentence that comes out of your sibling’s mouths feels like a blow and the casket is haunting you. Not as much as Roman though you suppose, if he wasn’t firmly planted onto the pew and with a pale, iron grip on your hands you thought you’d maybe float away. Or maybe you’d just sink down with the pressure of all the eyes, tears and smirks. 
As Shiv speaks, you know she’s right, her words about being his daughter have never been easy and it’s starting to get hot. Too hot. Sure there are hundreds of people in the church but it’s too hot even with that, you’re starting to overheat and your thoughts are overcrowding your brain. 
You look at Roman, your hand on his back and your other one holding his hand. You bite your lip, trying to force tears not to come. Unsuccessfully though. 
“I’m sorry, yeah, um I’m sorry Rome.” You let go of his hand and quickly move to squeeze past Connor and Willa in the pew. 
All of their eyes follow you in concern, you start to fidget with the corner of your sleeve while trying to regulate your breathing as you walk off to the side of the Church. You don’t know where to go, it doesn’t feel like anywhere is an option but it feels like you just need to leave. Anywhere but here, home or any place that’s ever had that title. Your mind is racing with that train of thought and another million ones, none are easier than the last though. It’s becoming overwhelming,  impossible. Your heart is beating so fast you can hear it and you can feel it beating so quickly it’s trying to carve itself out of your chest. It’s all so claustrophobic.  
An arm grabs you and you turn around to see that it’s Connor. 
“Hey, hey. Are you okay?” 
“It’s just a lot, I don’t think I can be- I don’t really want to be in here right now.” You quietly say, trying not to choke on the inevitable sobs. 
“Hey, it’s okay.” 
Connor’s gaze is focused on you and it’s gentle. Which somehow feels more intense, it amplifies the feeling of being under a microscope. You tug at your sleeve again as you feel the tears starting to get worse, you try to bite your lip as tightly as possible to stop the incoming sobs from arriving, to distract from the emotional pain with something physical. 
It doesn’t work though. 
You start to step away from Connor as your crying can now be heard, Roman stays frozen in the pew still trying to find some of his abandoned composure. Kendall’s noticed that this isn’t a toilet break and that Connor’s intervention isn’t cutting it and starts to make his way over. 
Kendall quickly realises that he’s not the only one who’s noticed and who is making their way over. Kendall’s compassion for you is still somewhat intact but today, controlling the narrative and putting out fires is his priority. 
“Stew, go. People are going to talk.” Kendall sternly whispers with a disappointed look, doing his best to communicate his point without drawing anymore attention to the scene. 
“Let them talk, I don’t fucking care Ken.” Stewy spits out with widened eyes. 
“You don’t want this story to break today, trust me.” 
“If it broke today it would drown in the rest of the funeral, Roman and the fucking GoJo numbers. You know that. Everybody does, it’s why Shiv and Matsson leaked it today.” 
“Follow the money back to your fucking seat.” 
“The money isn’t my priority here. She’s my partner.” Stewy says, Kendall scoffs and they both quietly walk over towards you and Connor. But you’ve been too overwhelmed to have noticed any of that interaction or them joining you and Connor in your weird corner towards the back of the church. 
“I need to- it’s so hot in here. It’s really fucking crowded, I know that you want a good turn out at a funeral but this is- it’s so unnecessary you know?” You cry out rambling and Connor’s concern shows more. You hadn’t publicly broken over your father’s death yet and Connor hadn’t seen you cry since you were a child. 
“Yeah, sure. Sure. A lot of people”
“It’s just so hot in here. I need cold air. Maybe some wine? Do you think there’s uh w-wine around? It’s a church, there’s bound to be wine, it’s Catholic- Holy Communion and all… Fuck.” 
“I don’t think there’s wine here you can drink.” Connor’s voice breaks a little.  
“I can’t do this, I don’t want to be in here. Connor please? Just I don’t know- I don’t fucking know.” You sob out and the tears and sobs just don’t stop. Connor puts his arms around you and does his best to keep some composure for your sake. 
Kendall and Stewy have now come over, Connor’s arms are still around you but you feel a hand on your back. One that rubs a little circle and you recognise that little pattern, the pressure, the touch itself. 
“Stewy?” You whisper out between a little sob.
“Hey, sweetheart.” His voice is soft and gentle as he continues to rub your back like he has a dozen times over the last several days. 
“I just- uh. I just, it’s so hot and claustrophobic. I needed air.” You’ve now left Connor’s arms to press yourself into Stewy’s side, his arms quickly replacing Connor’s as they wrap around you. You’re too overwhelmed to even consider or worry that your tears and makeup might be rubbing on his blazer. 
“I know.” 
Kendall is standing in an attempt to shield the rest of the world from this interaction, Connor’s hand is on your shoulder now. Stewy looks at Connor, tilting his head slightly towards you. Stewy smiles at Connor and nods, silently communicating that it’s okay and Connor can go back, which he does after squeezing your shoulder softly. 
“Can we- can- I need to go outside. I need air.” You muffle into Stewy’s side. Kendall pointedly looks at Stewy. 
“I know baby, I know. But there’s a lot of people outside still and cameras still.” Stewy says, as he rubs at your back comfortingly. Stewy isn’t worried about people seeing you both out there but about people seeing you in this state and it being immortalised in the media. 
“Fuck.” You mutter and the sobs become louder, more painful and desperate. 
You knew today would be hard, nothing was easy with your father. But you didn’t expect today to be so awful and to feel so trapped, he was gone, you shouldn’t feel like this but you just felt vulnerable, like the defenseless kid you were trapped in your childhood. Under a microscope for hundreds to zoom in on your pain, today wasn’t suffering just for your father’s amusement. 
“Yeah. We can get some air at the cemetery and take the long way back to the reception? Stop off somewhere if you want?” He asks softly. 
“We all came together-” Kendall starts. 
“I know-” Stewy quietly interjects. 
“I think I’ll go with Stewy, Ken.” You say quietly, you peek out a little from Stewy, puffy faced and wet with tears. Kendall doesn’t look super impressed at that, you can tell but he just gives a small nod.
There’s something about Stewy, his mere presence is a salve on your soul. Being buried into his side, being able to try focusing on the scent of his cologne instead of everyone and everything else is helping you remember how to breathe again. Your lungs remember how it all works again with Stewy at your side. 
“Do you want to sit down again before it ends?” Stewy gently inquires now that he’s noticed that your breathing is a bit more normal and the sobbing is more contained.  
“Sit with me?” Stewy nods. Kendall scoffs quietly but audibly and takes one of your hands and walks back to the front row pew of Roys, Stewy’s hand is gently on your back as he follows. You sit at the furthest end from Kendall, sandwiched between Willa and Stewy. Willa offers you a small but gentle smile and you press into Stewy’s side as he holds your hand in his. 
“Snot siblings.” Roman says as he finally looks at you, leaning across to give you a tissue. “Courtesy of the old Gerr-bear.” He adds as he refuses to look at the woman behind him. 
“Oh, thank you.” You whisper quietly and he nods looking away, just across from him. 
You’re aware that there’s more attention on you now over your little breakdown and at the development of Stewy coming over and then being at the front Roy children pew, Willa’s there of course but not even Tom or Rava are. You can tell Stewy’s aware of this as well as you look at his handsome side profile, he notices you staring and smiles at you, his arm around you squeezes you softly and he brings the hand of yours that he’s been holding in his lap up for a soft, sweet kiss. 
“Just breathe.” He whispers quietly as your hand in his goes back into his lap. You take a deep breathe, even consumed in your grief and the horror of this day you are so grateful for him. 
Despite the context, there is something freeing and peaceful about that. Being able to hold your hand in front of hundreds of people, kiss it and sit next to you. Stewy feels it deeply in his soul and while you perhaps can’t appreciate that right now, you can feel it too. 
****************
You didn’t stay to receive condolences like Kendall did. You immediately left with Stewy, ignoring the pointed and curious looks from everyone as he had an arm around you as you both quickly walked, he held the door open for you and you both sat in the backseat. 
As soon as you both were in and that door closed, you couldn’t help it. You just started crying. It was so overwhelming. 
“Hey, hey baby.” Stewy whispered into your hair as he pulled you tightly into him, he pressed some soft kisses to the top of your head. “I’ve got you.” He said softly. He was so soft with you today. But Stewy was always soft with you. 
Stewy held you tightly for the rest of the drive and when the car got to the cemetery you tilted your head, so you were still pressed against his chest and looked up. 
“Everybody knows now.” He wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement, it was a fact either way. 
“Yeah-” 
“Are you okay with that? I’m sorry-” You asked quietly, letting out a little hiccup. Tears still in your eyes. 
“I don’t fucking care who knows. I love you. You baby. The whole world can know and there’s a lot going on today, I think this will be the least of anybody’s concerns or key takeaways. I just care about you.” 
You lean up to give him a soft kiss on the lips, which he eagerly but gently returns. 
“I love you too.” 
“That always helps.” He says and you let out a dry chuckle at that, as you bite your lip looking out the tinted window. “Should we try one of those exercises?” 
“Exercises? I don’t think we can fuck in your car at the cemetery when everyone is here to dispose of my dad-” You say with another dry laugh but some more tears come to stain your cheeks. 
“No, no, no baby.” Stewy chuckles and flashes you a charming smile. “Those like grounding, breathing, you’re an amazing professional ones? Oh the colour one! Um, what’s something purple you can see?” 
You look at Stewy in awe of his sweetness despite the douchey exterior most have to deal with. Your eyes briefly skim around the car and the sea of people in black outside. 
“We’re at a funeral, everyone’s wearing black… Where’s the purple Stewy?” You ask in a tone as teasing as possible but a small sob comes out of you. 
“Well you know I have nothing against outfit repeating but I’d worn a purple blazer to the wake- that wasn’t even a week ago baby. There’s a line, and it would’ve crossed the line. With the turtleneck and trousers and a purple blazer it would’ve looked like I was wearing the same outfit. I can’t do that, not in a week, let alone for two death-related events. People would know.” Stewy rambles on. 
You can’t help but laugh at his ramble, only he would be acutely aware of that and have considered this all in great detail. You laugh into his blazer and nod. He wears a large smile on his face as he notices that this seems to have cheered you up somewhat. There’s still tears but that’s to be expected, he’s just glad that there’s somehow some smiles and laughs in there as well. 
You press yourself into him tightly, inhaling his comforting scent and presence. “Don’t let me go. Not out there, in here. Ever, please.” 
“I’d never dream of it, baby..” Stewy says softly as he presses a kiss into your head and then you both leave the car holding hands.
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kaicubus · 1 year
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Dating Andre Harris
warnings ✩° : none! just cute fluff. i really went all out with the cute fluff aspect.
pairing ✩° : andre harris x gn!reader
authors note ✩° : RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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- Andre is an ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART. He will never let you go without telling you how much he loves and appreciates you, finding all the right ways to complement you and make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Andre does things that no one even thinks about when it comes to you because he knows you and he knows what you like.
- He surprises you on a daily basis, giving you surprise hugs from behind or gifts like a coffee or tea depending on what you like. He also just says things
- Very specific, but if you're sitting on one end of a super long seat like a bench or something, Andre will slide over and wrap his arm around you and give you a peck on the cheek before asking you what you're up to.
- His grandma actually likes you, despite being weary with every single one of Andre’s friends, she enjoys talking to you and just looking at you for long periods of time. Andre says she doesn't mean bad by doing that, she just thinks you're very nice looking at that’s great in your book.
- If you like to cook or bake, Andre is always the first to try. Whether it be a joke concoction where you want him to react poorly, or a really delectable plated meal, he’s always eager to try. His expression is always priceless, and he’s always so happy to eat whatever you make.
- Singing! Duets! All those cheesy lyrics too!
- Andre always stands up for you if you're soft spoken, referring to you as ‘my insert pet name’ and will question anything anyone makes you do things. Especially if it’s a friend telling you to do something for them, Andre will step in and ask what they're having you do, and if it doesn't get the Andre stamp of approval then you're not doing it. He only prevents you from doing dumb stuff or things that he knows will put you in danger, so it’s for your own safety, really.
- He doesn't look like the type, but Andre is very protective over you. Not to say he keeps you on a short leash, but he really is worried for you and worried about the people around you who try and flirt with you. No, he’s not insecure and no you're not a flirt, he just doesn't like the idea of a lot of people romantically after you. That means if someone asks you out and Andre finds out about it, he’ll show up to the date spot instead.
“Hey, Y/n, I thought first we’d—OH WHAT—”
“We’d what, pretty boy?”
- Over time, you've discovered that your go to seat no matter where you are is on Andre’s lap. Especially when he’s already leaned back in his chair, all you have to do is sit down on his lap and get comfortable for a few seconds and you're all set. Andre loves it, you love it, and it ends up with his arms wrapped around your waist, playing with your hair, or rubbing your back.
- Definitely the type to go in for side kisses, grabbing behind your neck to pull you in and smile into the kiss. Though he only kisses you in private, he makes up for the lack of ‘couple’ attention by those moments alone.
- Everyone always knows when he’s talking to you on the phone since his voice changes into a deeper tone and by the way he wanders off, sitting on random surfaces and kicks his feet, twirling his hair and giggling into the speaker.
“Andre shut up.”
“YOU SHUT UP. I’m talking to my baby~”
- He’s so supportive in anything you do, and I mean anything. If you wanted to quit singing, start tap dancing, start ballet, start holding EDM concerts, or film symbolic movies no one understands, Andre’s the first one to see it with that same smile on his face no one else gets.
- VERY into physical touch. He’s fine with just rubbing your arm or resting his hand on your leg, as long as he’s in some sort of contact with you he’s peachy.
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madame-fear · 1 year
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Después de lo que subiste hoy, me animé a mandar algo yo lmao.
I had a dream with Jacaerys x Twin sister which was quite funny in my opinion.
Remember when Jacaerys asks Rhaenyra if he's Harwin Strong's bastard? WELL, in my dream, twin sister has a crush on Sir Harwin, and she doesn't know that's her dad. And Jace suffered inside. Could you write something about that, please?
YESSS OFC
Being Jace's little twin sister and seeing Ser Harwin spending the most of his time near your family made you and your siblings grow close to him. Though, out of your three brothers — Jace, Luke, and Joffrey —, you were the one that was constantly most spoiled by him, mainly because you are the only little girl.
He would always refer to you as 'his little princess', would always defend you from your uncles, playfully ruffles your hair, and twirls you around playfully when you show him off a new dress of yours. All of this, plus seeing how loving and fiercely protective he is over your family, made you grow a crush on Ser Harwin, much to Jace's dismay, who's recently began having an intense puppy crush on you.
Though when Jace began having a crush on you, while you began crushing on the Ser, none of you suspected a thing — yet — about him being your real father. So, seeing you giggling and kicking your feet while blushing at the sight of Harwin training or simply complimenting you in a sweet manner like he always did, made Jace suffer internally and just get badly jealous.
At some point, Jace would even try to impress you by trying to become better at swordtraining and beat Harwin successfully — unfortunately failing, because he's still a little one —, and occasionally referring to you, his sweet twin sis, as his most beloved princess, and would always do something to make you smile — or see a glint of joy in your eyes — such as gifting you roses from the gardens, randomly giving you a big smooch on your cheek, proudly showing and giving you dragoneggs, or giving you a big hug and defending you from your uncles all the time. Though you love your twin brother endlessly and he never fails to make you feel loved and special, you can't help but continue crushing on Ser Harwin.
When Jace — and you, yourself — began having some suspictions about the Ser being your true father, that didn't stop him from having an inner competition with him to merely impress you, and have all your attention focused on him. Which just continues to desperate Jace and make him suffer even more no matter all the efforts he does to place your focus on him.
Even though that was supposed to be a little puppy crush Jace felt on you, through the years and as you grew up together even more closer, those feelings never truly washed away — they remained stuck with him, and they even became more intense. His jealousy continued growing over every single boy that laid their eyes on you, and Jace wouldn't even try to hide it, at some point. And, even, he'd occasionally just pull you away from every boy that approaches you, trying to ''establish his dominance'', in a way.
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espero que esto haya sido lo que te imaginabas, amor mio! <33
♡ taglist : ♡
@damatheirin @jacesvelaryons @tickle-euphoria @capellaadara @kyuupidwrites @tchatso @sanguinesaint-kaleidoscopeeyes
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heauxvibez · 3 months
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Born Again Virgin
W.I.P Wednesday <3
"I'm going to be a born-again virgin," Amaia admitted to her best friends, Kaydence and Micah. There she sat crisscrossed on their living couch being as vulnerable as possible.
They exchanged glances before bursting into laughter, filling the living room with their mirth. It was hard to believe that their friend, was going to attempt to reclaim her virginity, long gone by now.
Both women sprawled out on the couch, tears streaming down their faces as they continued their fit of giggles. Amaia felt insulted; how could her own two friends think that this was a laughing matter?
Crossing her arms over her chest, Amaia glared at the two women. They calmed down, sitting up straight while wiping tears from their eyes, though a few giggles still managed to escape their lips.
"That was the best joke I've ever heard in my life!" Kaydence said, leaning against the armrest of the couch. Micah nodded in agreement, sitting with her legs crossed.
"I'm serious, guys. It's about time that I... become celibate." Once her friends realized that she was serious, their eyes almost popped out of their sockets. Amaia's declaration left them taken aback. She had been able to get any man she wanted with her looks and her body; if she found an attractive man in the donut shop, he'd be in her bed that night.
"Why?" Micah asked.
"My body count is higher than my age. I feel disgusted and ashamed of myself," she explained, palming her face.
"So what, sex is amazing! I'd have it every day if I could... oh wait, I do," Kaydence said with a wide smile on her face. She stared off into the distance while twirling a tendril of her hair around her finger.
Micah and Amaia laughed, knowing that their best friend was sex-crazed. There wasn't a single piece of furniture in the place they shared that she hadn't had sex on, and it had consistently been disinfected, if not thrown away.
"So, when do you plan on having sex again?" Amaia stared at Micah, her lips protruding out as she pondered the mind-numbing question. Well, now, she wasn't just going to have sex with whoever she wanted; she needed to control herself and her sexual needs, which needed fulfillment almost all the time.
"If I do find the right guy, I'm going to wait until that relationship is stable before we start having sex, you know?"
"No, I don't know," said Kaydence, breaking her small daydream and shaking her head in disagreement.
Micah nudged her, causing her to mouth 'what' while rubbing her arm.
"We understand, and we..." she darted her eyes at Kay, "support your decision. I mean, we all need a break from sex sometimes, right?"
A loud scoff echoed throughout the room, and they both looked at the woman who continued to shake her head. Kaydence mumbled a few incoherent words, causing them to roll their eyes.
Amaia stood to her feet, grabbing her purse from the coffee table.
"Anyways, I have to go to work, but I'll see you girls later."
Kaydence threw up a peace sign, while Micah waved.
As Amaia closed the door of the condo behind her, she stumbled over a box.
"What the-"
Boxes were scattered all over the hallway, each labeled. Some were labeled Kitchen, others Living Room, Bedroom, and Bathroom. Someone was moving in right across from her and had the nerve to leave their boxes in the hallway, where she nearly killed herself.
Her eyes looked up to see the door open, exposing the nearly vacant condo. She saw the figure of someone running back and forth quickly, but she couldn't make out the face. She could tell that he/she was in quite a rush, though.
She rolled her eyes, kicking a few boxes out of the way.
"Damn inconsiderate neighbor. Trying to kill me with their dusty boxes," she muttered as she fumbled with her car keys.
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This is a story I worked on a looonngggg time ago and I want to revamp it and make it a Roman story. It's inspired by one of my favorite shows. It's definitely still a work in progress, definitely more details to add to fill the gaps/space. Let me know what ya'll think!
Tags: @harmshake @southerngirl41 @spritelucozade
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halfmoth-halfman · 1 year
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y'all know what time it is! it's monthly fic rec time!!!
i decided to move this to the first so i wouldn't miss any fics that might be posted on the last day of each month!!
& a small, kinda sad update:
usually this is where i'd link to my fic-recs blog, but i hit the character limit on my filter page where i have my recs organized and when i made a new page it saved over the first one.
all of my filters and recs on that page are now gone and have to be manually re-done. you can still find my recs by scrolling through the blog, but the filter page is going to be under construction until i can get everything fixed and re-added!!
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Alex Keller
❀ click click boom - @writeforfandoms
i don't see a lot of alex fics, so this was already a fav as soon as i saw it, but then i read it and ???? hello???? this was so good??? the characterization of alex alone was amazing, and the rest was like the cherry on top!!
❀ convallaria majalis - @nightingale-ghost-writer
19.2k words of absolute perfection. a fic i have been looking forward to and now that it's out, i just can't get enough of it! did i have to take breaks while reading so i could twirl my hair and kick my feet? yes. was it worth every second? yes.
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Arthur Morgan
❀ the fire in your eyes || part VII: horseshoe overlook iii | part VIII: horseshoe overlook iv | part IX: horseshoe overlook v - @cowboydisaster
if there's one character i love more than anything in the world, it's arthur morgan and this series has only made my love for him that much stronger. so beautifully written, i couldn't stop reading-the whole time with a smile on my face. the entire bar scene in part vii??? i was crying with laughter. this is def one of my fav series i've ever read and i am on the edge of my seat waiting for more!
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Carlos Oliveira
❀ the way we let it stay - @uselsshuman
this is a fair warning right now that most of the resident evil fics on this list are going to be from em. she has single-handedly ignited my hyperfixation for RE and all of her fics are incredible. including this one!
❀ old wounds new loves - @uselsshuman
i love little cute domestic fics, and carlos is so real for not liking cereal. “Waking up and eating a bowl of cold soggy food? No, thank you.” i feel that on such a spiritual level. also protective!carlos is just the best!!
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Javier Peña
❀ arepas - @mvtthewmurdvck
i know i already went feral over this fic, but i'm going to do it again because i love this fic so goddamn much!! this fic is incredible, the way everything feels so natural between javi and reader, the teasing, the friends to lovers trope, everything about this is just so beautiful!!
❀ a broken sight - @mvtthewmurdvck
i don't understand how you can write a character so perfectly. i will never not be amazed by the way you write javi. and the angst??? ugh "He’s here. Like you needed him to be." don't mind the noise that's just me sobbing in the corner.
❀ the dreams we made - @mvtthewmurdvck
there's nothing like a good ol' helping of jo angst. this hurt in all the right ways, completely ripped my heart out and shattered it only to put all the pieces back together again and fill the cracks in with gold.
❀ nowhere to run || file room + accusations | sunshine yellow | a new day - @mvtthewmurdvck
the series that got me into narcos, i actually started watching the show just so i could read the perfection that is this series!! am i potentially spoiling things for myself a little bit? yes, but it's absolutely worth it because this series has me by the throat.
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Joel Miller
❀ want. - @mvtthewmurdvck
literal poetry best described by this gif:
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John "Soap" MacTavish
❀ none lacking sins - @halcyone-of-the-sea
listen, i like soap. he's not my fav, but he's a really good character. this fic though? it's moved soap up to my top five favorite characters. this made me want to read nothing but soap. i must've read this a dozen times, i was immediately sent into a soap hyperfixation. every aspect of this fic is just amazing. stunning. perfect.
❀ the hanging tree - @writeforfandoms
had me on the edge of my damn seat trying to figure out what was going. the worry and the tension built up so wonderfully i was dying to know what was about to happen and omg i was not disappointed. and the way jen writes soap is just *chef's kiss*
❀ i will wait - @mvtthewmurdvck
this fic had me realize how much i crave soft!soap and just fluff with soap in general. the tender moments warm my heart up something fierce and make me all giddy. like waking up to the perfect sunrise.
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John Price
❀ puppy love || one | two | three | four - @writeforfandoms
puppies and price? what more could someone ask for? these two are so cute together and with the added cuteness of the puppies (and gaz lol) it's just an overload of cuteness in the best possible way!
❀ scratches in the surface - @halcyone-of-the-sea
was not expecting a part two to one of my favorite price fics, but damn if this wasn't a fantastic surprise. the angst is top-tier here and as much as it hurt, i couldn't stop reading and will probably read it again a million more times.
❀ neon medusa || part 1: static in the airways | part 2: warning signs - @yeyinde
CYBERPUNK!AU????? WITH PRICE????? WRITTEN BY YEYINDE???? SIGN ME TF UP!!! i am feral, consumed by how excited i am for this series and how utterly fantastic it's been so far. i will never get tired of lev's fics, and how gorgeous her writing is.
❀ untitled - @lunarvicar
okay this was adorable. the way price drops everything to get to her apartment, immediately ready to protect her is just sooo perfect. and her being freaked out by ghost adventures?? asdasljlsjd relatable.
❀ untitled - @yeyinde
i live for domestic bliss, and this fic just scratched that itch so well. there's something so comforting and homey about this fic, just the quiet intimacy between price and reader, the cute back and forth, this line: “Gaz said I looked like an Edwardian lord—” an absolute comfort fic if i've ever read one.
❀ comforts of home - @halcyone-of-the-sea
this fic had me weak, literally struggling to read cause i was too busy looking like this at my phone
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❀ barking dog - @yeyinde
jealous!price is not something i see often, but damn if i don't want to see more of it after reading this. i am obsessed with the way lev writes price, how real and natural and captivating he is in her fics.
❀ wicked pyre - @yeyinde
you can't just give me dragon!price and expect me not to love it. i am so feral for monster!au's and this is saldkjaslda i can't be normal after reading this, i am feral, so enraptured by this fic and the entire concept of dragon!price.
❀ origami boats - @halcyone-of-the-sea
a sequel to the best price fic of all time???? say less. this fic was in my top three before i even started reading, i just knew it was going to be good. well, it wasn't just good, it was great. stunning. heart-breaking in a way that gives you the best kind of hurt.
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Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
❀ high hopes - @writeforfandoms
gaz my sweet mans. as one of my favorite characters, i tend to be picky with my gaz fics, but this fic right here? loved it. adored it. read it six times with a bigger smile on my face each time.
❀ cult of vagabonds || prologue | landless gull | snail & thrush - @halcyone-of-the-sea
not only is this a gaz series, but it's one written by halcyone who can never write a bad fic. this is immaculate. i can't even describe how much i love this series so far and how much i can't wait to see where it goes!
❀ boom - @sleepiexx
ok but like this was so good?? the tension, the desperation, the way gaz was so ready to die with her. i'm shook. and that ending???? i’m giggling, i’m blushing, i’m re-reading this fic a million more times.
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Leon Kennedy
❀ leon kennedy masterlist - @uselsshuman
i'm gonna be real here for a second, this entire section was 99% made up of em's leon fics. i couldn't choose which ones to add, which ones were my favorite, because i loved them all. so i'm just putting a link to her leon masterlist, because every single one of those fics deserves to be seen and read and given all of the love that they deserve.
❀ enough || one | two | three | final - @uhlunaro
i have one word for this series: wow. just wow. i have never been more thankful to find a series after it was already done because i would've gone crazy waiting to see what happened next! which part was my favorite? all of them. every single one. the hurt, the dialogue, just the way leon is written. i'm speechless.
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Simon "Ghost" Riley
❀ exit row || exit row, part iii | exit row, part iv- @lunarvicar
the phrase "post-dick flashback" will live rent free in my head until the day i die, i was wheezing. i'm convinced there isn't a character nat can't make me love, because her portrayal of ghost here?? 🔥🔥🔥
❀ happiness || diamond ring | fearless | - @lethalchiralium
more of my favorite family man!simon series!!!!!! yesssss!!!!! i swear with every new addition, i just love this series more and more. i am so stressed reading it, but i love every second of it.
❀ the effect you have - @mvtthewmurdvck
screaming, crying, throwing up. how do you do it, jo? how do manage to make me hurt and heal my heart so beautifully in every single fic? how dare you, but also thank you so much.
❀ the captain || part 6 | part 7 | thunder - @as-is-above-so-below
omg i can't. y'all can't just keep giving a+ quality family man!ghost fics and expect me to be normal. you can't just give me cute shit like:
“Gaz frug.”
and not expect me to be like:
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also, i am absolutely in love with freyja. the way her relationship is written with ghost and the kids is so lovely and has me kicking my feet and twirling my hair.
❀ ghost at the beginning of your relationship - @angelltheninth
cute. adorable. sweet. i love me some good fluff and even more so soft!ghost and this was the perfect combination of both of them! and simon having "guard dog energy" is so funny and so correct.
❀ ménage || refuge | resolution - @lilywastaken
my new go-to for simon fics. the relationship between simon and reader and between simon and the 141 are both so great. and oh my god that wild ride of emotions i went during part five had me stressed tf out i couldn't stop reading! such a great and fun series.
❀ making progress - @constantcrisis19
"dragged into the CoD fandom kicking and screaming" and still delivering an absolutely amazing fic. the teasing, the small talk, the faint smile?? incredible. the entire conversation about powerful music?? fantastic.
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thegeminisage · 4 months
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oh boy IT'S tng update time. last night* we watched "imaginary friend" and "i, borg."
*tonight. it's 1am. whatever. it's posting tomorrow when i'll be awake but busy. anyway im gonna have to start splitting these up so tumblr will stop FUCKING me re my character count
imaginary friend:
what i like about this episode and indeed tng as a whole is that the little girl was fucking adorable. tng fans, your show has at least one point of validity. whenever there was a child on tos i wanted to throw them out of the airlock because they acted possessed. all the children on tng inspire within me motherly concern.
HOWEVER. THERE SHOULD NOT BE. CHILDREN ON A STARSHIP.
we've gone over this at length. we don't need to do it again. i am sick to death of hearing myself talk about it. i want to stop. and yet. every. and i mean EVERY. SINGLE. PROBLEM. in this episode. happened because there were children on a starship.
problem #1: child is making up a fake imaginary friend instead of making real ones = it's because her dad hops from starship to starship
problem #2 her imaginary friend is real now and wants to drown her in the pool like in that one episode of s*pernatural = this is because an alien, from space, read her mind, which it could not have done if she wasn't in space on a starship
problem #3: the alien HATES the grownups and thinks they should die = because she is seeing the ship from a child's pov, because there are children on this starship
and on and on and on.
aside from this huge and ongoing point of contention it was solidly watchable. i liked the little girl. i like guinan. i like worf being a big old softie when he found them out of bounds. i like people not undermining deanna's counseling work. i liked the horrifically unsettling imaginary friend with laser eyes who definitely absolutely inspired 2.11 playthings.
can anyone tell me if the other star trek shows just let them have kids on the ships? ds9 i get because that's a space station but are there kids on the ship in enterprise? voyager? discovery? genuinely please write in i can't take living like this
i, borg:
ooooooh. ooh i am twirling my hair and kicking my feet and giggling about it. OHHH finally we get a good tng episode. and not just a good episode a GREAT episode. the liz community has forgiven tng. oh baby where do i even begin
okay, firstly, beverly. she so instantly sees someone injured and HAS to help, i mean HAS to, it's so good. it's very bonescore in a way that doesn't feel like they're trying to make her a cheap bones knockoff but rather a spiritual successor. he would have also helped his enemy rather than watching him die. hell, he DID do that and got quite literally mind-raped for his trouble, and he'd probably do it again. i was really really lukewarm on poor bev at first but she's come into her own so well and i'm proud of her
the borg himself - third of five, aw, just like seven of nine - but no, hugh - the name is dumb but whatever i'm glad he has one - was well-cast. it would have been easy to make him uncanny and an unpleasant presence onscreen (this was my biggest issue with data's daughter even though the ep DID make me cry, deeply sorry to data whomst i love the most). his "you will be assimilated resistance is futile" song and dance was actually really funny when played off of geordi's wry indifference. "ok, but before we get assimilated, can we please finish x test?" so true king
geordi's a natural choice to pair with this guy because when he's not being the creepiest person on earth to holodeck girls he's sociable, outgoing, and patient. PLUS he has experience befriending machines because of data. hugh actually reminded me of data in some ways because of his general lack of understanding re: humanity but - and this is critical to me - HE IS HUMAN
like, i feel like the episode didn't quite nail the point home hard enough possibly because they were afraid of the implications but the cold hard truth of the matter is that each and every person on the borg cube IS A PERSON. they have been assimilated, but we've twice now seen that it's possible to unassimilate them with only a few days of effort. picard (and guinan!) consider the entire collective their enemy but the collective is comprised of brainwashed prisoners. those fucked up little borg babies they found in the cube were assimilated as INFANTS - i assume they weren't born on the cube bc if the borg could reproduce on its own it wouldn't need to assimilate - but even if they were born on the cube, they had no choice but to be this. you know.
which is whyyyy it's so fucked picard was like yeah give hugh some digital poison let him carry it back to his cube and we'll kill them like ants <3 like, oh my god his lingering borg trauma or whatever. MWAH. when he told deanna he didn't wanna talk. when he and guinan had to trauma-bond while fencing. when he told geordi that he needed to unattach himself because it was nothing more than animal experimentation. STONE FUCKING COLD BY THE WAY. he is fighting in the war on animal experimentation on the side of animal experimentation. he was going to let his cre heal and feed that kid and then send him back laced with poison. diabolical <3
and, of course, when he didn't want to speak or associate that borg kid at all because that's who he used to be AND WHO HE STILL IS in some corner of his brain (!!!)
LIKE. WHEN HE WAS FINALLY CONVINCED TO INTERROGATE THIS KID. and IMMEDIATELY broke out the locutus voice. he still remembered all the protocol! the way of speaking! everything! i was so shocked and thrilled.
i love also how everyone who spoke to hugh came away extremely unsettled but also totally convinced of his humanity. even guinan, which was so fun, because she was even more anti-borg than picard at first and they were bonding over trauma and fantasy racism. that bit where hugh, who had only known about the concept of loneliness for like an hour, immediately pegged her as lonely after like three lines of dialogue. oh my GOD???
i was decently satisfied with the ending - obviously they couldn't send him back with poison nor could they protect him from the borg, but i wish they had informed him of the inevitable memory wipe before he made his choice. (a selfless choice! he loves geordi!!) still i think he mostly walked into it with eyes open. very sad but very proud of him.
my one tiny nitpick with this episode is that for all beverly's genuine and justified concern about hugh, i don't think theyre ever gonna address the fact that she shot and possibly killed some of the borg in the episode where picard got assimilated. i feel like after realizing they are all people, like hugh, she should also realize she's broken the hippocratic oath, and have a little crisis about it. i have no idea why we had the DOCTOR shooting and killing anybody but let alone if we aren't gonna get into that. i don't think anyone cares/cared except me though.
but tbh, for me this is one of the main draws of the borg. they're ALL brainwashed cyber-assassins and they're ALL prisoners and in theory ALL of them could be saved if only they would stop attacking first. sure, yeah, in fights you gotta do what you gotta do because your own life has gotta come first, but the unique scifi horror aspect of all of those guys being perfectly innocent people fucks and they should utilize it a little more!!!
NEXT TIME: "the next phase" and "the inner light."
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HEEHEEHEE I AM KICKING MY FEET AND TWIRLING MY HAIR! I AM IN A GOOD MOOD! DO YOU HAVE AMY FUN FACTS ABOUT THE ULTIMATE SILLY BILLY, BES 🤡
I DO!!!!!!!!!
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SHE…. THEY… HE…. Bes is an all pronouns kind of fellow. They like to switch it up at the drop of a hat, and it’s effective purely because they are so androgynous not in just the usual way— but also like. She has some chest hair and boobs, and she can have stubble all she wants.
She also has a sibling-like thing with Pucci going on TO ME, which makes shit tragic but don’t worry about that right now. By the time of SDC she’s 18 and getting into so much mischief.
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Now I’m sure . you’ve noticed a theme. okay yeah I do pair her up with polnareff but that’s just because they are SO funny to me. Bes banters consistently and it flows kinda nice with Pols whole deal and they are both goofy tragic bastards who can’t catch a break. She ,, DID turn him into a clown momentarily (Jean Pierrot Polnareff…) I mean this as in Bes used to be in a traveling freak show and she had really bad facial dysphoria for a long time, even after Dio.
I don’t think I’ve ever explained her stand fully? It’s a fully functioning, large circus. Except it’s kind of looping, and it’s like a spiders web to catch stand users. Once you’re in, you can’t really get out unless you find a highly specific ‘door’ (can range to an actual door to something like a cabinet door, trapdoor, etc). And she can pull off any attractions she wants here, and the moment you use up three lives you get clown-ified and your soul is hers for the keeping.
Considering the ridiculous ass shit circuses in cartoons do, as you can imagine she is hilariously a formidable foe. The thing is though? She didn’t actually want to hurt anyone, and this kind of thing was justified to herself by she’s not hurting them physically and pretty much every other guardian in her life (Dio manor) was like ‘no no this is good’. So.
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I was hoping to do a second draft, but here’s Fiesta! SDC arc she looks more like a regular clown, but DiU onward she starts turning into Biblical Ringmaster as Bes gets control of her own life. It’s a lot to explain, but. She’s very sad to me and I want her to be happy. She knows they weren’t good people, but pretty much all of her mentors and friends died 😭😭 she’s grown so she doesn’t hold a grudge, even if Dio was kinda like her dad. She’s trying hard to get those deep seeded things out of her head and be a good person.
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pineappleciders · 1 year
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I am gently walking up to you and pressing my fingers together for your writing bc I'm. Big Shy
Can I get some fluffy bread twins x reader relationship headcanons because I'm soft and love both of them,,
DAPHNE and BOWEN relationship headcanons
A/N: i am going to use the unbreads rw counterparts daphne and bowen because why not!!!!
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DAPHNE
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daphne isn't necessarily shy, but she's rather stoic and hard to crack.
so it may be hard to get her to break composure, but take her hand or tell her you love her and she's flustered and looking away!!!!
amazing at baking, terrible at cooking. she'll bake you bread every day all the time and might get a little confused if you tell her you can't just eat bread to stay alive
that doesn't stop her though!!! she always delivers bread baskets with all sorts of your favorite breads to your door and leaves a little note in the basket
the note always says something along the lines of, "Dear Y/N, I figured you'd like to try some of the new pastries we've been making at the shop. I hope your day is well. Be sure to stop by some time today. Sincerely, Daphne"
her notes aren't always super lovey or anything but she writes them like kicking her feet and twirling her hair and she really really hopes you come visit the shop. she's constantly looking around othermart to see if you're coming
she looooves to talk. if you come to the register she'll literally just start ranting to you about her day while preparing your order. you lean on the counter all daydreamy while she talks about some random historical event like a nerd
speaking of history she LOVES history. she doesn't get many chances at home to explore her love for history so she would break out in tears id you got her like a book on the civil war or something
BOWEN
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bowen takes his job very seriously, and has a stoic expression similar to his twin, but he's even easier to crack!
literally just show up to the shop and order something and he's sweating and trying to make the bread super quickly to impress you
he literally only gets shy and stutters around you. with everyone else he just looks bored and tries to get everything done quickly but with you he gets quiet and slips up
tease him about it and he gets even more flustered
he's always trying to do things to impress you. like he starts making your usual order ahead of time, tries to carry a bunch of stuff at once to prove how strong he is
i think despite that he's a little shy, he loves physical touch!!! will absolutely melt into your hugs or if you give him a back massage after a long work day he's so grateful
similar to his sister, if you're close with him and you start to ask about any of his interests or anything he will talk about it for hours with a sparkle in his eyes. afterwards he might get embarrassed realizing he ranted
and he can feel himself falling harder for you when you say you don't mind at all and that you like hearing him talk
he hates school unlike daphne. so during class he just doodles on his paper all distracted. he makes little doodles of you and sometimes daphne sees them and pokes fun at him for it
and if you see them he loses his shit and has to take a breather in the bathroom. he is SO embarrassed
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2manyflannels · 7 months
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2, 6, 9, and 10 for therion!!! (I hope I did this right)
OTP: Alfyn/Therion
I know. I know basic. They just hit !! Every travel banter they have together I’m giggling, kicking my feet, twirling my hair.
Also, it’s been said before and will be said again as trust issues vs trust too much, and how they balance
Chefs kiss
The way they care AHHHASVBHf;uiabegfdvhucj aferuwdjpsVCbh8pg9urjsdnuxj
(It also doesn’t help that they’re the most popular on AO3 so they have the most content) 
BROTP: Therion and Primrose
Another pick that is a pretty lukewarm take. They’re besties
They are the most sassiest sardonic pessimistic bitches
They need each other in this group. Or they’ll be overwhelmed by all these sunshiney bitches
They’re the type of besties to check their nails while verbally destroying a bitch.
MLM/WLW s
Favorite Dynamic (s) (Not Necessarily the same as OTP or BROTP)
Besides the alfion and primrose dynamics I do like the general dynamic of the “PATH” travelers. They’re the disastrous double-date to the chaotic family road trip of the “OCTO” travelers.
Tressa and Therion are really funny to think about. They bicker, a lot. The natural rivalry of merchant/thief. 
*to Heathcoat* “You can’t tell me what to do your not Olberic….AND OLBERIC’S NOT MY DAD”
My LGBTQ+ HCS:
uh that boy is 
1) gay
2) trans (he/they)
(but we already knew that)
Random HC
Not to be a Debby-downer, but I do believe that he (like Phili) is a war orphan. I think that his parents died, and that's why he had to learn how to fend for himself so quickly.
General Opinion (I love all the main 8 dearly, but I will answer asks about side characters if prompted)
I love you bebee! 
I love his arc. 
Even though I knew it was coming I did gasp when Darius pushed him off the cliff. 
I feel like he is one of the characters who would benefit from the concept of the travelers interacting with one another and discussing that outside of travel banter, as much as I like the Cordelia-Heathcoat trust, I don’t think that was enough for him to suddenly have faith in people again. I think the unwavering found family he hypothetically gained.
I get why he’s the most popular character in the fandom. He is a tragic edgy boy. The rough exterior soft interior somehow never gets old
Number asks!!!:
2: 
More people than he’d ever fucking expect y’know.
 He is the type to care from a distance, but how he shows he cares is really meaningful.
Of course Cordelia and Heathcoat depended on him, and I think even after he returned the dragon stones, they stayed in contact and asked each other for aid time and again. 
I think in a group of a lot of yes-men (Alfyn, Ophilia, Tressa, Cyrus) it’s really helpful (while not always appreciated) to have a loud and stubborn “No man”. (Trust issues suck but they do come in hand) 
Also in The Travelers, I think everyone depends on everyone. No one is not doing their part in the group project y’know. 
6:
He had his purple scarf before Darius, which means it’s something he’s had for a long time. Possibly a remnant of their parents, or maybe the first thing besides food that they stole for himself. 
9:
They don’t. Therion is the type to feel emotions and then immediately repress them. He is a trainwreck of trauma repression, and I think it takes him a long time to feel comfortable expressing himself again, even after traveling with the octogang for a long time. He’s the type to have a bad day and punch a tree. I think once he gets some healthier coping mechanisms in him they’ll open up little by little, especially to Alfyn and Primrose.
10: 
With one eye open. He is on guard. You know how people say that for some animals sleeping openly is a sign of trust. It’s the same for him. He stays on watch until he’s certain no one is up to stab him and run. When he does sleep, it’s rough. A single noise can wake him, and he has constant flashes of Darius, the cliff incident, and other people who’ve probably treated him horribly. It’s not a fun time until let’s say it together now “he gets healthier coping mechanisms”.  
When he does gain a healthier sleep schedule, he sleeps more peacefully but is still a light sleeper and an early riser. 
He also goes to bed later because anyone can tell you it’s easier to steal in the dark.
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Uhm here's my ranking of the 4 scientists:
1: Dr Neo Cortex (obviously)
2: N Tropy
3: N Brio
4: N Gin
You might be wondering why I feel the way I do and the answer is actually very simple: I never finished Crash Bandicoot 2.
How does that affect things? Well it means I basically missed out on the whole of N Gin's character as it is first presented to us, and the whole of Brio's vengeance arc. So I never really got attached to N Gin. I do enjoy him, I love his goofy voice and the concept of him having a rocket in his brain, but I feel as though I don't know enough about him. IAT doesn't do him much justice either, he's the first boss and idk how accurate his portrayal is. I appreciate him and think he's a worthy part of the N Team, I just don't care enough about him.
N Brio is next, and honestly for me, he's almost tied with Tropy. On some days I'd find it hard to pick between them. But Brio is so damn cool, I enjoy his brute form even if it's just Frankenstein and Hulk mixed, but because it's tied to Brio (someone who is generally shy) I think that gives it more staying power. Not to mention his vendetta against Cortex is entirely built on his own self loathing, it just makes him such an interesting character. Most of my aus revolve around them being friends and TS! Brio has an unrequited love for Cortex but his canon depiction is great too! Also him being a potions guy and constantly mutating himself because no one else would dare take part in his experiments? Chefs kiss it's sublime.
N Tropy is next on the list, and the only reason he's above Brio is because I find shipping him with Cortex more fun. The idea of two evil scientists with the same goals hating each other but also having a weird respect for each other which then evolves into something more? Hell yea 💜
We love our funky British Time Lord so much he's a silly guy :'3 (and a very attractive one too)
Finally it's my absolute beloved my skrunkly my gorgeous silly it's Dr Neo Cortex baby!!! I cannot even begin to describe the sheer amount of love I have in my heart for him, he's so cute and epic and every time he shows up on screen I go crazy giggling and twirling my hair and kicking my feet he's my wittol!!! Genuinely he means the absolute world to me and his IAT incarnation is the fucking cream of the crop, the absolute best Cortex we've ever had and the other game I love him most in is Twinsanity, something about this guy being on the good team makes me all kind of soft and fuzzy and to me it's when his character is at its absolute level best 💕
Lex Lang did an awesome job with his voice I love how pathetic and fruity it sounds and honestly Cortex will never ever intimidate me because he's just too soft and wittol and smol I--- as much as I love Clancy Brown as Hank in DBH he's never going to be the definitive Cortex voice I'm sorry Lex Lang takes the cake ://3
I hope you all enjoyed this mini rant about the N Team and I hope it makes my opinions clear awa
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chrono-vi · 2 years
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14 - Temptation
Warning: mention of sex, arousal; strip club
**Ruben and Zenobi “ZZ” Ronovie belong to @sugar-guts
“To be driven by some strong emotion - isn’t that something to live for? It’s always a pleasure to find a driving force; a reason to gravitate towards whatever gives you that serotonin rush! So why should you regret attraction? Why should you fight it?”
Thumping music and rhythmic lights lulled the entire strip club into a deep hypnotic trance; the show was beginning once more, and the crowd was growing restless. 
They longed for their raven-haired siren of the night - the club’s one and only Loreley. As the music gave rise, so too did the bodies of those witnessing. Standing to face their fate. Standing in respect of their songbird.
Her curvaceous body suddenly slid down the pole in the center of the stage, appearing through filtered green mist. Upside-down, dressed in goddess-like robes; she was a sight to behold no matter what she had planned. Her leg extended, and with one fell kick, she flipped off - landing perfectly on her feet like a well-mannered feline.
“Welcome, my beloveds,” her sultry, silken voice cascaded over the crowd, hushing their applause, “I’m so very honored you could join me tonight.”
She gestured widely to the room, her smile bright and her intentions unknown. Her world of neon light and sex, all locked securely under her thumb. Her golden eyes glinted.
“As you know, every night I pick a lucky someone to join me backstage… so stay tuned!~”
One lucky man every night was carted off to a rendezvous with the woman of the house. But the one catch: that they never return. Rumor has it that she pays them and they go on wild vacations, just so long as they never speak of that night again…
And every night, another man follows her Pied Piper song, to vanish entirely.
Her routine went as planned; the seductive woman was a master of twirling and flipping, and all the while she kept the room's full attention. Not even those at the bar found they could look away to drink.
Loreley thrived in her little world. The attention, the arousal; it all fueled her. As it should.
…and not metaphorically.
The Adamentia sister leaned out from her place upon the pole, eyes locked on a man in the crowd. She gestured up with her finger, signing the man's death certificate with a single beckon. He scrambled toward her, eager to receive his prize, and to subsequently vanish.
Her little chosen ones would not be seen again, no. But not for a vacation…
Loreley Adamentia was notorious in the Veil for her luring nature and hypnotic magic. The woman was a succubus of immense power, after all. 
This night was her banquet. A room of horny souls, all ensnared in her trap. They were all so fresh, ripe for the taking; it was hard to pick just one…
---
When everyone had cleared out, the starlet came to the bar to sit - swiveling to face the bartender. She fixed her makeup in a compact mirror, "could you hook me up, sweetie? I've got a major headache after this last guy wouldn't stop screaming."
"Coming right up, Ley," the man behind the bar chuckled, and a black clubbed tail slid her a tall pink drink.
She looked up and smiled, her own demonic appendage revealing itself and resting on her legs. "You always know what I need, Rubie~" She purred, reaching over to pinch his cheek. "You and ZZ are what really make this all worth it."
"Besides the free food?" Ruben tilted his head. "I'd think that's a plus, too."
"Maybe a little~" Loreley winked. "But it's mostly the company! These fleshbags are so dreary…"
The two shared light conversation, before the succubus turned in for the night. Through their basement portal, she returned back to the Veil with ease.
Something weighed on her, though. Thinking it over, Loreley couldn't help but focus on something. What was she really doing all this time? 
Her youngest sister barely indulged at all. Her eldest two were so sticklery, the other two so selective; but Loreley was the perfect Succubus. 
…was she the real odd one out?
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wkemeup · 3 years
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Play Pretend
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summary: When Bucky is injected with a substance that leaves him desperate for release, you offer your help. pairing: bucky x reader word count: 7.8k warnings: smut (18+), sex pollen (with as much consent as one can have in a dub/con trope)
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“What in the—” you slammed an elbow to the nose of the assailant behind you, “holy,” a quick right jab to another coming up on your left, “godforsaken,” a knee plunged straight to your ribs and you kicked to the assailant who managed to get one up on you, “hell, Rogers!”
Another body fell to the ground and settled at the collection at your feet.
Dripping in sweat, heart pounding in your chest, and your body short of giving out completely, you slumped a shoulder against the cold frame of the wall. Down the hall, at least a dozen more Hydra agents were barreling towards you.
There was no response on the coms; not that you expected as much. The Hydra base in Munich you were tasked with rigging to blow was meant to be abandoned. Nothing left but a dozen empty cells and decades of barbaric research no one should ever lay eyes on again.
Seemed Captain Roger’s intel was just slightly off. Tell that to the series of bodies lying in your wake.
“You better send backup, Rogers, or I swear to God I’ll haunt your star-spangled ass for all eternity,” you grumbled to the broken transmission as you attempted to square up. Fists out ahead of you, swaying slightly on weakened legs, a dizziness in your vision making it hard to tell exactly how many men were charging straight at you.
“What? I’m not enough for you?” Bucky suddenly appeared on your right, chuckling to himself as he released the empty magazine from his weapon and quickly replaced it with a new one. Blood was soaked into his hair line, mixing with the sweat beaded on his forehead, and he brushed the back of his hand against his face to smear it back into his hair.
“About time you showed up. Making me do all the hard work myself,” you scoffed, shooting him a teasing smile as you eyed the hallway he came rushing in from.
He insisted you’d be out in time for movie night back home if the two of you split up, divided the C4 amongst you and met back at the quinjet in twenty. Not even his super soldier instincts could have predicted this place would be overrun with stray Hydra agents looking for a rematch.
One of the agents opposing you whipped out a handgun and Bucky jumped forward, using his left arm as a shield. The bullets ricocheted across the room, puncturing into another Hydra agent who collapsed to the ground clutching his knee.
You exhaled a heavy breath, the edges of your lips dipping down into a frown as you watched more agents stepping over the bodies of their colleagues and advancing down the hallway. You glanced up at Bucky, watching as he weighed the rifle in his hands, bouncing it lightly. It was running low on ammo.
“You get anyone on coms yet?”
“Nothing. We’re on our own.” Bucky gritted his teeth, firing a few rounds down at the mass of Hydra agents swarming their way towards you. It knocked a few of them down, at least.
You started to take a few steps in their direction, yanking a knife from the spine of an agent on the ground before you whipped it down at the ones ahead of you, knocking another to the ground. The echo of gunfire tore through the cramped hall again and it left a pile of men at the front lines.
Four left.
“That was my last round,” Bucky grunted, tossing the weapon to the floor as he tugged a small blade from the holster on his thigh. He smirked as he glanced over at you through the corner of his eye. “Who do you want?”
You shrugged, studying the four agents who came to a slow halt at the opposite end of the hallway. The two on the left looked about as you’d expected from Hydra agents; tall, dark haired, with shoulders twice as wide as their hips and a vicious kind of look in their eyes. Then, a blonde-haired woman who couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away from Bucky, a hand resting impatiently on the knife against her hip. Last, a man who towered at least two feet above the others with a long, jagged scar covering most of his face.
“I’ll take the two on the right.”
Bucky narrowed his eyes, glancing between you and your chosen assailants. The taller one cracked his neck to the side and bared his teeth.
“You’re sure?”
You feigned offense; a hand pressed your heart as you took a few steps forward, sliding the batons out from the holsters along your shoulder blades and twirling them between your fingers. “You underestimate me, Barnes. You think I’d let you have all the fun?”
Bucky laughed, shaking his head as he jogged to catch up with you, disregarding the battle cries of the Hydra agents as they advanced as if it was only ever the two of you in the room. “Not a chance in hell, sweetheart.”
The blonde woman stared to advance on Bucky, eyes trailing him up from his boots to the top of his head with a devilish kind of look in her stare. She licked at her lips hungrily, as if she was ready to take a bite into him, though he paid her no mind as he rushed at the two men to her right.
“Hey, Barbie!” you called, waving a baton in the air to grab her attention. “Looks like your stuck with me.”
She glared at you, pausing in her strut for only a minute, but it was all you needed. You sprinted towards her, using the wall as leverage as you jumped up against the frame to propel yourself into her. Baton at ready, you slammed down into her collarbone as she let out a yelp and fell down to the ground. It didn’t take her long to get back on her feet and when she did, her knife was nestled tight into her grip, a new kind of intrigue on her face as she stared you down.
“Need any help over here?” Bucky called out from the end of the hallway as he ducked under the right hook of one of his assailants. He clipped one in the knees, sending them spiraling to the floor with a pained shout, before he smirked over in your direction.
“Mind your business, Barnes!” You rolled your eyes as a smile crept up against your lips.
Barbie took a single glance back at Bucky before her eyes returned to you and there was something darker within her stare you didn’t quite notice, or perhaps you simply mistook it for enemy territory. Either way, when she raised her arm with knife in hand, you whipped around the baton in a backhanded strike, sending the knife flying down the hall. Unarmed, she stared at you with wide, fearful eyes, until you knocked her out with a final hit to the side of her. Nothing fatal, but it would keep her under until backup arrived to hull her in.
Bucky was still fighting off his second attacker as you approached the man leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest, patiently waiting. He pushed himself off the wall, cracked his knuckles between his palms with sharp snaps that echoed down into the hallway.
“Think you can take me, little girl?” he taunted, voice low and thick, like it had gone years in disuse. He made a show of the way he settled into his stance; fists held out in front of him, shadow boxing in an attempt to intimidate you. It seemed to catch him off guard when you rolled your eyes.
“It’s been a long day,” you shrugged, “and frankly, I’d like to go home. So, let’s make this quick.”
The arrogant smirk dropped from his face, replaced quickly with a wash of rage that a woman half his size would dare mock him in such a way. But he was clumsy in his stance and in his swings, so you saw each of his moves coming a mile ahead. With every right hook, you slid under his arm and stepped out behind him. In every jab, you side stepped out of reach. He exhausted himself while you made little effort in your defense. Without a single offensive throw, he was panting in a matter of minutes.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” he bellowed, loud enough to make Bucky pause for a moment and you winced as his assailant took advantage of the moment to get in a punch to his jawline. He recovered quickly, giving you the security to face your own attacker head on. The Hydra giant was dripping in sweat, red in the face, teeth bared and near feral. “Fight me!”
“Only because you asked so nicely.”
As he threw his next swing, you met it with the brunt of your baton, stilling him in his stance. He stared at you, wide eyes and jaw slacked, as you winked at him and dove under his legs. Before he could manage to turn around, you flicked at switch at the bottom of the batons which emitted an electrical pulse from the top edge and plunged it into the man's neck.
He convulsed, gargling out a few incoherent words, before he collapsed to the floor at your feet. You grinned, sliding the batons into the holsters at your shoulder blades.
“Alright, I take it all back,” Bucky’s voice chuckled from behind you. “You don’t need me at all.”
You laughed, shaking your head as several strands fell down into your face, lost to the bun at the top of your head in the struggle. As you turned to face Bucky, you found him standing with his hands planted on his hips and the brightest smile on his face, one that took him years to find again since you first met him and damn if it wasn’t one of the most beautiful sights you’d ever seen.
But then, there was a sudden rush of movement on the ground. One of the Hydra agents wrestled back up to his feet behind Bucky, a malice imbedded deep into his glare, a determination as he rushed forward.
There was little time to think as you lunged for the knife you broke free of the blonde agent’s hand and whipped it across the room. It plunged straight into the man’s jugular and he fell backwards, hands sliding out from around Bucky’s neck as blood coated the tile floors.
“Shit,” you panted, hands on your knees. “You okay?”
Bucky didn’t respond.
Slowly, heart pounding in your chest, you glanced up to find him pulling a syringe from his neck. He stared at it for a second, stunned as a few stray droplets dripped from the edge of the needle before he dropped it to the ground, letting it slip out from his fingers limply. The vile was empty as it rolled along the tile and settled against the dead body of its owner.
“Bucky?”
There was a sudden, paralyzing dread that swept over his features, one that seemed to worsen as his eyes fell upon yours. Then, his knees started to buckle, his stance falling unsteady and you rushed forward, darting under his arm to catch him before could lay amongst the bodies of Hydra agents. He was shaking, hands trembling, and you could feel the sharp rise and fall of his breath as you held him steady.
“We have to get you out of here,” you said, trying to push down the panic etching its way up your spine, but Bucky shook his head.
“No time.” It was all he could mutter out.
“Bucky, you've just been injected with God knows what and we need to get to you a medic or—”
“There,” he grunted, pointed to an open room at the end of the hallway. With a thick, metal door and dozen locks lining the outside, it was more of a cell than a room. You started to shake your head, but Bucky gripped tight to your arm. “Y/n, please.”
You watched him carefully, noticed how he couldn’t seem to meet your eye, how sweat was beading at his hairline more profusely than it was in the midst of a battle, how his breaths were broken and trembling on every exhale.
“Okay, okay. Hold on.” You slowly guided him to step over the bodies at your feet, most unconscious, others not as lucky, and swiftly led him into the cell. It seemed to put him at ease as you aided him to sit on one of the metal chairs at the center of the room. As you released your touch from his arm, a rush of what appeared to be pain twisted into his facial features though he tried to hide it.
“So, what do we do now?” you asked. “I could try to find the lab. They could have counteractants to whatever this is. Or I could try to fix the coms... but we all know Parker’s a lot better with that stuff than I am.”
You laughed, trying to ease the tension in the room, but it was so thick you could have cut through it with the blunt edge of your baton. Bucky’s eyes were glued to the floor, his hands curling around the undersides of the chair until the metal warped under his grip.
“You need to leave.”
Your smile dropped. “What? No, are you crazy? I’m not leaving you alone after—”
“Go!” His voice boomed against the walls and you tried not to let the shock startle you.
“Bucky, stop. That’s not happening.” You dug your fingers into your hips as you paced back over the door, stole a quick glance in both directions. It was still empty save for the bodies lying in your wake. It seemed you and Bucky were entirely alone. You pinched the bridge of your nose. “We’ll figure something out, okay? We always do. This can’t be worse than the time we were buried in that old chevy under twelve feet of snow in Alaska last year, can it?”
You shot him a grin, hoping to ease him, though it did little use. His face was red, jaw stoned. He looked like he was barely breathing.
“You’re not hearing me,” Bucky groaned, his voice molding into something darker. “You're not safe here. You need to leave. Now. Before I... Before I can’t control this. Before I hurt you.”
You paused, narrowing your eyes. “What are you talking about? Do you… Do you know what that stuff was?”
Bucky clenched his jaw, turning away from you the best he could. He let out a pained groan and kicked the chair out from under him. It slammed against the wall with a harsh clash and forced a skip in your heartbeat, a hand darting up to your chest. Bucky leaned over the table, trying to find support, but he ended up gripping onto the sides hard enough to dent imprints in the shape of his hands.
You rushed forward, desperate to help because you couldn’t stand to see him in so much pain, and placed a hand on his shoulder. It touched upon the thick straps of Kevlar for only a second, and still, it was enough to elicit a visceral reaction. He whined, something between a moan and cry, and he slumped down out of your reach.
“Don’t touch me,” Bucky warned, though his voice broke in the effort. His breaths were labored and heavy, and still it seemed as though he could barely get one in. “Please. You—You have to get away from me. I’m— I’m begging you.”
Bucky choked back a cry, biting down hard on his lower lip, and it was then you noticed his right hand palming at the hardened outline nestled tight against his thigh. He pressed the heel of his left into his eyes, shame burning hot against his ears and cheeks and trailing down in red patches along his neck. He tried to hide behind his hair, hide from you, but it was enough; you recognized what this was.
It was a serum created by Hydra in the seventies, meant to create inhumans of their own design when the clinical measures were proving unsuccessful. It was created to induce a euphoric state, a primal need beyond personal control, to put its host through hell until Hydra had what it wanted: a viable chance at an inhuman child.
“Bucky,” you called gently, though all you earned was a whimpered grunt in response. Slowly, you crossed the plane of the room to him and laid a hand against his collar. His eyes fluttered shut in response, his whole body keenly alert to every touch.
“You should leave,” he warned again, his gaze slowly drawing up to meet your own; a glossy shine shielded over a stunning ocean blue. “Let me... let me take care of this on my own. I’ll be f-fine.”
“It’ll be agonizing,” you told him, having remembered the speech Tony gave a few months back after the team first encountered the serum in Peru. “It won’t kill you, but it will feel pretty damn close. Nothing you do on your own will relieve it. It doesn't work like that. You need someone to help you through this.”
He shook his head. “No. I won’t-- I won’t ask you to do that.”
“You don’t have to,” you replied gingerly, drawing your hand up along his arm, tracing over swells of muscle as watching the way a shiver followed so tenderly in your wave. You rested your hand along his cheek, brushing your thumb under his eyes. He was scorching hot. You smiled at him, something soft and gentle, something sad. “I’m offering, Bucky.”
“No,” he grunted out. “I—I can’t. I won’t.”
You nodded, letting your hand fall to the side. It was remarkable he was able to hold himself back this long, let alone decline an offer when presented to him. You’d heard the stories of men to devolved to a near primal state, who attempted to jump the first person they saw and fought their way to release. Bucky was determined to spare you, even as you offered, even knowing that turning you down would put him through a world of pain.
“Okay,” you conceded. “Tell me what you need. Tell me something I can do, Buck, because I can’t just watch you in pain like this.”
Bucky stared at you, pupils blown wide, almost as if he could see right through you.
“Need to get this off,” he finally admitted, eyes drifting down to his suit.
“Okay,” you replied steadily. “Do you want help?”
He shook his head, his stare glued to the floor, but you could see the way his hands were reaching out for you, how he had to keep himself in check and hold them firmly at his sides. He tried to unfasten the buckle at his chest himself, but within seconds he let out a hallowed cry, dropping his head in defeat.
“Hurts,” he exhaled, and slowly his eyes came back up to yours. He forced out a halfhearted smile the best he could. “Can you...?”
You returned the nervous smile, as you took a cautious step forward. He followed your every move as your hands extended towards his chest, fingers clipping the buckles easily as they unsnapped down his jacket. Each one left a new breath of relief in its wake, like he was just on the edge of the surface, under only a few inches of water.
Your hands slid under the seams, helping to slip the sleeve down his right arm, and Bucky choked back a moan. His eyes fluttered shut, lips parted just slightly, and you jumped back.
“Sorry,” he muttered. His cheeks were near on fire.
“It’s alright, Buck. It’s not your fault.” You reached out for him again. “Here, let me help with your belt.”
“No, no, I’ve got it.” His hands were shaking as he started to fidget with the buckle. He swayed on his feet, trying to find some relief. As he unfastened the latch and unbuttoned the hem of his pants, his eyes flashed up to you. He exhaled a heavy breath. “Can you... Christ... can you turn around?”
The look on his face, the shame radiating from every ounce of him, shattered you right to your core. You nodded quickly, turning your back to him and making your way to the door. He needed privacy – of course, he did. He didn’t need you around to bear witness to the consequences of Hydra’s newest attempt to leave him powerless and vulnerable.
But just as you approached the door, Bucky called out quietly, “don’t go.”
You stilled in an instant, though you didn’t dare to turn around.
“It, um,” he cleared his throat awkwardly. “I think it helps if you’re here. If that’s alright.”
“Need something to look at, huh?” you laughed, trying to make light of the impossible position he was in, and you were thankful for the short chuckle you heard behind you.
“Don’t flatter yourself, doll. You’re the only one here,” he replied, a teasing back in his tone, and no matter how tense it was or how forced it felt, it made your heart skip a beat.
You smiled, shaking your head. Leave it to the two of you to find the humor in a situation like this. Biting down on your lip, you tried to suppress the grin, though it did little use.
Then, you heard the soft fall of his shirt to the floor. Quickly followed by the pants of his suit, dropping to the ground in a heap. He exhaled a breath that sounded as though he hadn’t done so in years and you found yourself wondering what he looked like standing there behind you, naked and aching, harder than he’d ever been in his life.
“Swear you won’t tell Sam about this.”
You shook your head, chewing on the inside of your cheek to hold back another laugh. “No promises.”
“Y/n.”
“You’ve got to be in crippling pain, Buck. You don’t have time to be embarrassed right now,” you shot back teasingly. “Stop edging.”
“Fine, okay,” he grumbled back, though you could hear the light in his voice, even if it was a little tense. “Just… give me a second.”
The room became impossibly quiet, painfully so, and you waited under bated breath for something to happen. The smile slowly left your lips, fading into a restless frown as you listened intently to his labored breathing, the tight groans of pain, until finally, his hand circled around the base of his cock.
The whine that left his lips was near sinful, and you felt your own breath hitch in your chest as you listened to soft whimpers parting his lips as he stroked himself, covering his length in the precum dropping at his tip. Heavy breaths and wet pumps of his closed hand around his cock, and you clenched your thighs together, wondering how his eyes might travel over your frame.
But God – those sounds he made were beautiful. You could picture him tugging his lower lip between his teeth, his eyes fluttering shut, his shoulders slacking, knees falling a little weak the harder he gripped at himself. Little murmurs of ‘oh god,’ and ‘fuck yes,’ and ‘please’ as he fucked his fist.
You didn’t know how much time had passed by, but your lip was nearly chewed raw, nails indented into the palms of your hands. You could hear how close he was, how his movements picked up in pace, how his breaths labored, how his moans filled the room higher and higher until – it stopped.
Sudden and aching, he lost it before the fall and your heart broke as you heard him cry out in pain.
“Bucky?” you called softly, not daring to turn around to face him after he asked you not to. Your heart was pounding in your chest, hands clenched tight, and you swore your knees would buckle out from under you if you unlocked them for even a second.
“Fuck, I… I can’t...”
“Bucky, are you okay?” you tried again, worried. There was a panic in his voice that wasn’t there before, a desperate longing etched into every syllable, and it scared you.
“I can smell you,” he said simply, achingly.
Your breath hitched and you squeezed your legs together. There was a throbbing there, an emptiness you couldn’t quite shake. “Do you... Do you want me to leave?”
“No,” he replied quickly and you could tell he was contemplating his options. He was growing desperate and that lingering sense of control he maintained was slipping through his fingers. “No, I— You were right. I can’t do it on my own. I need—fuck. I need…”
“Just ask,” you offered again, head tilting just enough to the side that he could see your face but you kept your stare to the wall. “I’m here. I’m saying yes. Just tell me what you need.”
“You.”
It surprised you as he said it; a little lower, a little darker, but certain.
Slowly, you turned to face him.
Sculpted by Michelangelo himself, Bucky carried the most beautiful lines across his body; divots along muscles and carvings of delicate design. You could tell he expected your eyes to fall straight to his shoulder, to the mess of scars and metal he loathed, or to the vulnerability standing hard in his grasp, but instead, you kept your gaze focused on his eyes.
Bucky stood completely naked before you, his right hand still pumping slowly around his cock as you edged forward. He watched you, biting at his lip as he flicked his thumb over his tip. Eyes trailed down over your frame greedily, hungrily, as if the act of simply looking was enough to draw a twitch from his cock. He tugged his lip between his teeth, tightening his grip around himself.
As you came up beside him, you reached up and sat your hand against his right shoulder, watching how he closed his eyes in response, how his jaw slacked. His lazy thrusts evened out, slowing down, as you traced your hand down his arm, simply lost in your touch. Your hand slid down his bicep, over raised muscle, along his forearm to his wrist, and then, you gently nudged his hand from his cock and replaced it with your own.
His lips fell open, a slight tremble in his breath as you gripped him. His forehead dropped to your shoulder, leaning against you as he caged you to what appeared to be an interrogation table. You felt the warped metal against your thighs from where he’d clutched at it just moments earlier.
Steadily, you began to pump him in your hand, careful to spread the wet of his precum down his shaft. He was hard within your grasp, painfully so, enough that you could feel the crystal outline of a vein running up along the underside. You pressed your thumb against it as you slid your hand up to his tip and brushed it over his slit. The whine he released against your neck was the most beautiful sound you ever heard.
“This okay?”
“S’good.” He nodded meekly against your collar but you could feel the strain in his shoulders, the restraint that left his jaw wired shut and breaths tight.
“It’s not enough, though. Is it?” you asked gently, though you knew the answer. You knew what he needed and your hand, or even your mouth, would not be enough. The Hydra scientists knew what they were doing when they designed this. It had a very specific purpose and it would not yield for anything less.
“You don’t have to, Y/n,” he said, stronger than you’d heard his voice since he was injected. It took nearly all his strength.
You smiled, letting your free hand cup at the side of his face. He leaned into the touch, seeking more, almost instinctively. Bucky was a complicated man; capable of light-hearted jokes in the middle of a warzone and an immeasurable guilt and shame that had not left him in his years since he was freed from Hydra. He was your closest friend, your partner in the field, a man that you trusted above all others, a man you cared for in ways he would never quite understand.
“I’m here, Bucky. I’ve got you,” you whispered sweetly, but you could still feel his hesitance. “Listen to me, I’ll leave if you really want me to. I’ll stop if this isn’t what you want. But please, don’t send me away and leave you suffer through this alone because you think I don’t want you. I do, Buck. I want you. I want to make you feel good. I want to take away your pain. Let me.”
He stared at you for a moment, a strange mixture of disbelief and longing upon his features. Slowly his hands lifted from the table and felt for the clasp at the back of your suit. You nodded at him, and slid the zipper down your spine, exposing perfect, untouched skin. He pealed it down along your shoulders, over your chest and down your waist. You helped him remove it down to your feet and kicked it off to the floor beside his own.
His eyes drifted to your chest, hands itching to reach out, but he held them firm at his sides.
“It’s okay, Buck. You can touch me,” you told him, reaching behind your back and releasing the clasp of your bra. The straps fell down your shoulders and you let the fabric slip from you. Bucky swallowed, his eyes drifting to your exposed chest. A smile started to curve upon your lips the longer he stared at you, like you were something to revere.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured quietly, almost to himself, as if saying it purely for the state of fact.
Your heart skipped a beat, lips parting in a slight shock, and you wondered if this was what it was like for the women he brought home on cold, lonely nights from the bar. You’d seen the content smiles on their faces in the morning as they sauntered out of his room with messy hair and a blissful kind of look in their eyes.
Bucky wasn’t the cold, calculating man the papers made him out to be. He was kind, exceptionally sweet, and a selfless to a fault. You didn’t suspect he was any different in a bedroom.
He shook his head, a ghost of a smile on his lips. “I never thought this would be how—"
But then— his face started to contort and suddenly Bucky was keening over. He clutched at his stomach, digging his nails deep into the muscle and he nearly collapsed to his knees.
“Bucky!”
You grabbed a firm hold of his right arm, just enough to keep him steady, and even the smallest of touches alone seemed to ignite something in him. Goosebumps littered his skin and a sweet kind of whine escaped past his lips as you ran a hand soothingly along his spine.
“Come on, we don’t have a lot of time,” you warned gently. It was a miracle within itself he was still on his feet. This serum had put ordinary men into shock within minutes if they didn’t find release. Never enough to kill them, but just enough to make them wish it would.
Bucky followed you back to the table at the center of the room, his hand clasped tightly in your own. It was the most physical affection you’d shown for one another, a tenderness outside of the rush of foreign chemicals in his veins, and you tried not to think about the fallout you were bound to find after.
He helped to guide you onto the table, resting your back against the cool, metal surface. Then, slowly, he crawled on top of you. His eyes drifted down to your panties and you lifted your hips for him, giving him the permission he needed to pull them down your legs.
His hand slid down along your curves, drawing goosebumps in his wake, until he swiftly slid his fingers between your thighs. Dipping into the wetness at your core, he spread his fingers around, lubricating himself until he slid two easily inside of you.
“Oh, Bucky,” you moaned, back arching as he pumped them against your walls. “God, that feels—so good.”
His left hand was curled tightly into a fist near you head as he propped his body weight up against the arm; gears whirring, the scars at the base of his shoulder red in the strain of it. One quick glance at the tension coating his muscles, the sharp breaths in his chest, the whine as his cock touched your thigh, and you were pulled swiftly from the clouds, a startling reminder why you were doing this in the first place.
“Hey, don’t worry about me,” you told him, a little breathless as he added the third finger. “I’m fine, Buck. You need to come. This isn’t about me.”
He shook his head, determined. “You’re not ready yet.”
You chuckled, a heat of embarrassment washing over you, even as he scissored his fingers, stretching your walls. You had to choke back a moan and the urge to clamp your thighs together around his wrist.
“I’m more than ready,” you said, voice a little higher, hands clenching at the sides of the table as you felt your walls tightening around his fingers. “Trust me, Buck. Just listening to you touch yourself was enough.”
You laughed again but the room was thick in tension, almost unbearably so. Bucky could hardly hear you. His hair had fallen down to shield his face, his gaze focused on where his fingers were lost to the most intimate parts of you; determined.
“It has to be good for you,” he muttered out slowly. You narrowed your eyes on him, growing worried as he seemed to retreat within himself. He was distant, his mind far away from his body. “It has to be good… it has to be good for you otherwise… otherwise I’m… I’m...”
He wouldn’t say it but you knew what he meant.
“Bucky, come back to me.” You reach up and grabbed a firm hold of his cheeks, thumbs at his jawline, and drew his attention to your eyes. It took him a moment to get there, but you found ocean blue again, even if it was clouded in dark, stormy skies. “I’m okay. Don’t worry about how I feel, alright? Just do what you need to, I’ll be fi—”
“I won’t use you like that!” Bucky snapped defiantly, startling you. “I don’t care that it feels like my skin is on fire and there’s knives carving through my body. I don’t care that I feel like I’m going to pass out and everything in me is fighting to force my way onto you and take what I want regardless of what it does to you! I don’t care! You’re my best friend and I… I…” He was panting, red in the face, and he couldn’t seem to find his words. He swallowed, though it looked as though it burned. “It has to be good for you, okay?”
You nodded, running your hands gently along his arms; his left, solid metal, unwavering, and his right trembled deep within the tissue – the gentle movements of his forearm pressed up against your stomach, his fingers searching out a pleasure he so desperately needed you to feel.
“I…” he started before he clenched his jaw. A heavy exhale followed, a drop of his gaze, and he muttered out weakly, “I need to pretend this is real.”
Your lips parted in shock; heart stammering so painful in your chest you wondered if he could hear it. Before you could say anything, before you could ask him what he meant by that, Bucky let his fingers slip out from between your legs, resting slicked against your thigh. The emptiness was startling.
“I think you’re ready for me now.”
Bucky nestled himself between your legs, lined his length your entrance with a gentle sweep of his top through your folds. He shivered, something near violent as it shook through his spine, and you were reminded again that Bucky was suffering, that he had a foreign chemical in his veins that ripped away his control and left him powerless to Hydra.
His skin was flushed red, sweat beading on his forehead and down his neck. There were sharp marks in the palm of his right hand where he dug his own nails into his skin. His breaths were coming in quickly and uneven.
“Look at me,” you ordered, stern enough to draw his attention. “Don’t hold back. You need to get this out, okay? I will tell you if it’s too much.”
It took him a moment, a breath of contemplation, before he nodded; slow and hesitant. You could see the strain in his jawline, the tension in his shoulders from how much he was restraining himself. It must have been agonizing, but Bucky had been through worse in his life. You supposed pain had become a familiar friend, one he learned to tame and control, even when it ripped him apart.
The moment he pressed his tip past your entrance, as he bottomed out in one thrust, as he felt your walls squeeze tightly around him for the first time, Bucky nearly came on the spot. He gasped into your shoulder, sucking marks against your skin as he rolled his hips against you. Slow and steady at first, reveling in the feel of being consumed whole, of being taken so well, of a rush of endorphins and pleasure he’d never felt even in the peak of sex. Everything was heightened, every touch was immaculate; he could feel your heartbeat through the walls squeezing at his cock.
“Oh, f-fuck,” he moaned against your ear, breath hot, voice dangerously low. “Fuck you feel so good, sweetheart. So fucking good. Goddamn perfect.”
You nodded, arms circling up around his shoulders as you rolled your hips to meet his own. You could still feel the stone carved tension in his muscle, how much he was holding back from what he needed. He was trying to be gentle with you, loving in a way the serum was not designed for, but it was testing him. He wouldn’t give into it, not in the way you asked him to, because Bucky had already lost so much to Hydra, already lost pieces of his mind and body, he would not let them take his soul, too.
“Just for you.” The words passed through your lips before you could quite catch onto their meaning. Your hands slipped down his chest as you brushed your thumbs against his nipples. He moaned, hips picking up in pace. He needed the encouragement, you realized. It was the only way he’d allow himself the release he needed to free his body of that serum.
He needed to pretend it was real.
He needed to pretend that you weren’t laying upon a cold, unforgiving table in an old Hydra base, that maybe this was something more than the consequences of a vile he didn’t ask for.
The line between the fantasy and reality was painfully thin.
“F-fuck, you’re so tight,” he mumbled breathily. The table began to squeak with every snap of his hips, with every drag of his cock at your core, the brush of his tip to the sweetest spot. It was easy to lose yourself in him, to forget that you were in an abandoned Hydra cell, that he had a foreign chemical in his veins determined to destroy him. He felt like heaven.
“S’all yours,” you whispered, drawing your hands down along his waist, slipping over his hips and gripping into the soft flesh of his ass. You pulled him deeper into you, daring him to go further. His pupils were blown so wide, you could barely see the blue in his eyes. He was slipping, barely holding into the restraint he so desperately clung to, and you rolled your hips at just the right angle, squeezed him enough to draw a mangled cry from his lips.
You kissed at the dip of his collar, sucking sweetly as he all but purred in response. Your lips mapped a path up his neck, along his jaw line, over cheekbones and at the tip of his nose, until you paused at his mouth. His heart was pounding, thunderous in his chest, and his hips seemed to pick up in pace with every kiss.
It wasn’t until you captured his lips against your own that Bucky lost the last ounce of control he had been clinging onto.
Something like a growl purred against your lips, a sound near feral, and the gentle push of his hips like ocean waves against you turned into quick, harsh snaps. He pulled his lips from you, trailing hot, wet kisses down your neck, until he found the place he was looking for and sunk his teeth to the crook of your shoulder.
“Ah, Bucky!”
All consuming. Feverish. A man untamed and he did not relent, not as your walls tightened around him like the twist of a coil, or as the sound of skin and wetness between your legs echoed high into the room, or when his fingers touched at your clit and rubbed harsh, quick and pressured circles until you were crying out so loudly, it must have carried through the whole base.
“Fuck! Ah, God, Bucky, don’t stop!”
Bucky groaned against you, sucking a mark where his teeth had met your flesh. You could feel the vibration of his voice against your skin, the pulse of his cock in your cunt, the thick vein that ran along his underside as it added so sweetly to the pressure at your entrance. It was wild and unhinged, but God – it was good.
“Y-yeah, baby, right there,” Bucky moaned, his thrusts falling uneven, haphazard, needy. “F-fuck, I’m gonna come. I’m gonna—ah, ah, f-fuck—”
The heat of him, the way he filled you so perfectly, the rush, and it pushed you over the edge. White hot and intoxicating, the wash of it broke open in floodgates and swept through you. His fingers did not let up on your clit as you squirmed and withered below him, his thrusts falling lazy as he chased the end of his release.
Breathless and a little dizzy as you came down from your high, you felt his heartbeat inside of you; quick, but even. The serum had done its work. It released him from its hold.
Bucky was panting, the full of his weight having fallen onto you. His hair was wet with sweat, messy and untamed, and the room smelled distinctly of sex. But more than that, it was unbearably silent.
Slowly, Bucky began to pry himself off of you, allowing his softened cock to slip from between your legs, slick and satisfied. He swallowed, a blush creeping onto his cheek as he pushed his hair behind his ear.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
You chuckled, propping yourself up on your elbows as you watched him quickly tug his pants back on before he bent down and picked up your suit for you, handing it gingerly to you upon the table with a shy sort of smile.
“Alright? I’m great.” You grinned over at him, glowing in the aftermath of your release. “You feel okay now?”
He nodded, a nervous smile tugging on his lips as he watched you jump down from the table and step into your suit. His eyes must have lingered on your thighs where his cum was still slick along the skin from his release because his smile began to fall, his jaw tightly clenched.
“SHEILD has me on birth control, Buck. Don’t worry about that,” you told him softly. You tugged the sleeves back up your arms, though it proved difficult with the lingering sweat on your skin. You flipped your hair over your shoulder and turned your back to him. “Do you mind?”
He cleared his throat awkwardly, shuffling forward to zip up the back of your suit. He brushed a few stray strands of hair over your shoulder, the gentle sweep of cool metal a relief against the hot flush of your skin; impossibly tender for a man capable of the things he was.
“So,” he started, a nervous chuckle in his voice as he grasped hold of the zipper, “should we talk about this or—”
“Bucky? Y/n? You guys read me?”
Steve.
“Seems the coms are back on,” you sighed, stepping to the side after Bucky finished zipping your suit. He was still holding his tactical vest in his hand, along with the one-armed jacket. His hair was untamed, cheeks flushed, and you imagined you looked of the same.
“We got you, Steve,” Bucky replied, though it seemed rather reluctant. “Where you been, man? You dropped us in a warzone.”
“Yeah, I figured that out,” Steve grumbled back. “Get to the jet. We’ll debrief on the way back. Don’t forget to rig the place to blow on your way out.”
“Right,” you rolled your eyes, grinning at Bucky as he slipped his jacket on. “Certainly, can’t forget the one thing you sent us here to do.”
“Unless you’ve got more Hydra agents hiding in the wings?” Bucky added on and you could practically see Steve deadpan from the cockpit.
“Just get out of there before I come get you myself.”
You laughed as you slid the batons back into the holsters at your shoulder blades.
It was strange, how quickly it felt as if nothing had changed at all. Maybe it hadn’t. Maybe it was a quick release and you were simply helping a friend. Maybe it was something neither of you would speak of again and you’d go right back to being partners, friends, as if it never happened.
But as you turned around at the edge of the room, a smile wide upon your face, you found Bucky watching you with a kind of look in his eye you couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t one you recognized, wasn’t one you’d seen in him before. It was something new.
His eyes flickered to your collarbone where a mark upon your skin was growing discolored; bite marks and bruising where his mouth had been. A strange mixture of remorse and longing, affection and need, all rolled into one.
“You ready, Buck?”
He nodded quickly, snapping himself from his gaze with a pressed smile. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, though he tried. He met you at the edge of the room, trailing a few steps behind you, and you turned around to find him staring back into the cell, like he was trying to preserve a memory of some kind.
You realized as you watched Bucky clear his throat awkwardly, turning back to you with a gentle blush of pink in his cheeks, that there was no pretending you hadn’t crossed a line together. There was no going back.
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part 2
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