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iouinotes · 6 days

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All for you | Carl Gallagher

pairing: Carl Gallagher x female!reader

show: Shameless

warnings: angst, fluff, smut (the reader and Carl are 18 years old in this ff)

summary: Carl is challenged that he can get your money, if he makes you fall in love with him. He loves the challenge until he loves something else more...

authors note: sorry for so many pov switched, I didnt notice it, when I first wrote this ff. Also I haven't had the chance to watch all the seasons yet, but I still hope that Carl's character is somewhat accurate :))

Carl's pov

"Frank, goddamit youre no help! Why are you even lying around here - oh forget it, I don't want to hear it." Fiona's voice echoes in the room, while the entire Gallagher household is present.

The everyday discussion has been going on for too many minutes in which I could have done something better. The damn question “How do we get enough money?”

Lip at college, Ian with his gangster boyfriend, my shitty sister with her kid and then Liam. This family is screwed. No wonder with a father like Frank.

As the argument continues to escalate, I have the misfortune of sitting right next to him.

"You care to share some money, son?" Of course, my attempts to ignore him are unsuccessful.

"The drug trade doesn't always work out so well, but the weapon thing was something. You could give one to your good old dad, you know what the neighborhood is like." I run my hands through my hair in frustration, shaking my head.

"Just get one or two girls pregnant at school, then all of our problems are solved. But she has to be rich. After all, you want to get your hard work paid." Why the hell am I still here?

"You used to be more enthusiastic about my ideas. If you don't want to do play daddy, then use your charm. When I was your age, my cock was enough and the girls were happy."

"Be fucking quiet, no one wants to hear about your pathetic youth." It's no use, he keeps talking.

"I'm only saying, If you make a rich girl fall in love with you, then you can get money to do something nice for your family."

As I get up and walk away from him I take a breath, the tension caused by this idiot sucks.

Still, his words got me thinking. Maybe there's a new girl who would be perfect for this job...

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Your pov

When I moved here, I wasn't sure what to expect. New school, maybe mean classmates and bad cafeteria food. That I might be able to join a group and make friends, people who laugh with me in class or go to the cinema together on weekends.

I was prepared to get lost in the hallways a few times, perhaps to be peppered with embarrassing questions by the teachers. I had even prepared myself for being called a nerd again and therefore spending my lunch breaks alone.

Then things turned out differently. I met two girls who, although they scared me at first with their need to gossip all the time, are good people at heart.

They studied with me (meaning they told me the newest gossip and braided my hair while I did our homework), showed me the city and its pitfalls. I felt comfortable, prepared and confident for what awaited me here.

Oh lord, was I wrong.

On a Thursday in the middle of the week I met a boy who messed everything up. Literally.

I met him when he was running through the halls twenty minutes late, but stupidly didn't pay attention to me, who was about to cross his path. Let's put it this way, it ended with my books on the floor, my jacket hanging off my shoulder, and his hair being a huge mess.

When he looked at me, I expected to hear something like "sorry" or "I'll help you."

You want to know what he said?

"Cute top. Let me know if you need help taking it off."

Then he got up casually and walked into the classroom across the hallway, a grin on his face as if he had won the Bachelor title.

After this encounter two things became very clear to me. 1. Look both ways when crossing the halls and 2. Stop daydreaming about this boy, even if he has beautiful blue eyes.

The first thing worked better than the second.

After a few descriptions, which actually only consisted of "incredibly impudent and incredibly good-looking", it was explained to me who I was dealing with.

Carl Gallagher. A boy who has lived here since he was born, someone who is rumoured to be more dangerous than the Italian Mafia.

Even though I thought that was exaggerated, I quickly realized that I should stay away from him and that he meant trouble.

Aside from the fact that I wasn't going to be in the situation of talking to him again anyway, my eyes couldn't stop themselves from looking at him.

There was something that defined him, something that made me want to watch a grin creep across his face when he made an inappropriate joke, how he would push his blonde hair back and his eyes would shine mischievously, as if he had already planned the next bank robbery.

I wasn't the only one who found his charisma attractive tho, of course not when he looked like one of God's angels, but he never really seemed interested in other girls. At least not with any serious intent, you might hear him flirting or making comments about his free bed, but you would never saw him in a relationship.

He never held hands or kissed anyone, had a real smile on his face or said sweet things, he was just Carl.

Suggestive, hot-tempered and like a flag that proclaimed: Stay away from me, because you will lose this fight.

I also felt that if I continued to watch him, I would lose the battle for platonic feelings towards him too.

"Please don't tell me you're looking at our school bad boy again. You better be careful, he might want to sell you a gun." Kenzie's voice makes me sigh.

"These are just rumors. Besides, it's not my fault, he's just -" Her hand on my shoulder interrupts me.

"We know, you have heart eyes every time you talk about him. There are so many great guys in this world, I'm not saying at this school, but you choose this one?" Her look says more than a thousand words as she looks over at Carl, who is pushing his way trough the crowd.

"I'm not in love, just curious. Those are two different things, okay?" Her eyebrows raise.

"You mean, curious how his lips would feel on yours?" Her laughter at my expression is lost in the sounds of the cafeteria.

"Very funny." I murmur to her, food forgotten on my plate. When the school bell rings, I stand up and pick up my backpack.

"My class is canceled now, but I'm going to the library. Will you meet me later?" As I walk backwards I see her thumbs up and the hearts she makes in Carl's direction. My reaction is two quick middle fingers.

As I walk out of the school building, I check my phone and tie my hair into a braid. The library is a few blocks away and the cool air makes me shiver.

When I get there and wave to the boy at the entrance, I turn to my favorite department. Call it cliche, but I love romance books. I mean, I don't know what it feels like to love someone with all my heart, but that doesn't mean I don't love reading about it.

The books I actually need are a few rows away. History, literature, everything I am assigned to get for school.

As I stroke over a few tapes and finally pull out a book to read the first few pages, I hear a noise next to me that makes me look up. After all, the library is usually a pretty quiet place.

As I look into the familiar blue eyes, I feel my cheeks turn red.

I have to stop myself from staring.

"Always a book in your hand, I see." Oh his voice hasn't changed. I try to shrug casually as I answer, but I'm not sure if it actually works.

"Aren't you going to be late for class again?" At my sarcasm he smiles, he takes a step in my direction which weakens my control over my voice.

"I thought I would learn something somewhere else too." These coded words make me swallow.

"So, you're here often?" I almost think he's not answering me, but maybe I'm just not concentrating, because I'm paying too much attention to every mole on his face.

"Actually, I didn't even know this shitty town had a library." His words make me laugh, but several requests to be quiet around us, make me whisper in response.

"Then why are you here?" I think my breathing stops as his hand brushes my fingers that are still holding the book.

"You're here." I feel my heart beating nervously faster, I probably look pretty confused and when I notice his grin, something flutters in my chest.

"No interest in books, huh?" Can my answer actually be any lamer?

"Dont worry, I have a newfound interest in you."

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Your pov

If someone had told me a few weeks ago that I would become friends with Carl Gallagher, I would have found the idea absolutely crazy. To be honest, I still find the situation insane, but damn my cheeks still turn just as red when he's with me as they did the first time.

It turns out that he really has no interest in books, even though he visited me at the library almost every day since we met in the romance department.

I've never met anyone like him, funny and couragous without any reserve, always looking for trouble, acting self-confident. But also sweet.

He's like a current that pulls you along, like a wind that blows so hard that you fly with it. He feels like freedom and it is wonderful.

He makes me laugh, he carries my books, plays with my hair, walks home with me. In such a short time I feel like he didn't knock on the doors to my heart, instead he made a home there.

Maybe this is what it feels like to fall in love.

It's not a gentle announcement, more of a realization that makes you incredibly desperate and happy at the same time.

But with him I actually just feel happy.

"Ready, sunshine?" As soon as I come out of the classroom, he comes towards me and takes my bag from me. My heart jumps at his gesture, which feels like winning the Olympics.

"You're crazy, where do you even want to go?" He has something planned but won't tell me. When he puts his arm around my shoulder and I lean against him, I get a few sideways glances from our classmates.

Carl ignores everyone like always, it's crazy but the way he's so confident is pretty attractive to me.

"Does the guy in your cheesy books also tell you where they go on dates? I bet not, so just wait."

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"It feels like you're kidnapping me."

I feel his smile on my back and have to giggle quietly at his response.

"Mh, I plan to do that. But only for a few hours, otherwise my head will roll tomorrow. Your father takes your curfew pretty seriously."

I feel his hands on my hips, guiding me forward, hear the birds chirping around us, but can't figure out where we're going.

"Just a few more steps, baby. Then you'll see." As he promised, it is only a few meters away and when I see a small, calm lake, my mouth falls open in surprise.

"Carl, oh my God! It's wonderful here, thank you so much." I turn around in his grip and look at him, his smile reflects the love that I feel.

"Yeah? How much do you like it?" As his eyes focus on my lips, I feel a tingling feeling in my stomach. Slowly, my fingers stroke his chest and I see him swallow, even though he tries to hide it.

"I think it's incredibly beautiful here, I love it. And...I really like you." I shyly lower my gaze, my words are met with an unknown silence that makes me anxious after a few seconds. But when I look up at him again, he pushes a strand of my hair out of my face.

"To me, you are much more beautiful than this sight. I like you too and I thought that was pretty obvious." I smile broadly, butterflies fly around in my stomach and as the sun illuminates his face, I feel incredibly happy.

"You're so nice to me, I don't know how I deserve this." An expression crosses his face, but when I blink he smiles at me again.

"After all, you are the first person who explained the topics for the history exam to me, without giving up." My hand cups his cheek.

"I wouldn't give you up, you've become too important to me." As I stand on my tiptoes, our lips brush, his hand is on my back and pushes me closer to him.

"You are an angel." With his words we kiss and everything else around us blurs, only he remains. Everything is unimportant except him, standing in front of me, so handsome, that it is difficult not to look at him.

"Come on, let's go for a swim." As he pulls me towards the lake, you can hear our loud laughter in the air.

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Carl's pov

"When are you going to collect the money? You've been with her for the last three months and nothing has come of it." Frank's annoying voice frustrates me more than anything else.

"I am working on it. Besides, she's actually really caring." When I see the dismissive hand gesture in my direction, I roll my eyes.

"You are completely wrong, son. A person is there for a certain period of time, but money? Money accompanies you throughout your life, especially if you buy beautiful bottles of the best alcohol."

I sink into the sofa, but want to turn away when I feel his hand on my shoulder.

"If you put it off any longer, it will be harder to get out of the situation. Girls your age will start planning to get married, if you stay with them for months."

But when he leaves, I feel conflicted. Can I really do this to her?

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Carl's pov

"Happy birthday!" Her voice makes me jump and, confused, I turn around on the bench to look into her excited eyes.

"Why are you jumping around like that? Are you practicing for cheerleading?" I'm making fun of her, but the smile on her face doesn't fade.

"No, idiot. I'm just really curious to see how you react to your gift." My breath catches for a moment as I take in her words.

"You got me something?" When she leans forward and gives me a kiss on the cheek while pressing the bag into my lap, I start to smile too.

"Open!" Her encouragement breaks me out of my trance and I quickly tear up the paper, looking at the tickets with wide eyes.

"But...these tickets cost a fortune? Did you sell your liver or something?" When I look at her, she smiles back at me.

"I talked to my dad and he agreed that you deserve something special for your birthday. Are you happy?" As I look at the cards, I suddenly feel a pang in my heart. It must be showing on my face, because her happiness is also fading away.

"Do you not like it? I thought it was your favorite team? I can get you something else." When I look at her, I quickly pull her between my legs and kiss her.

"Shh, breathe angel. It's perfect, thank you. And well, your father. It's just a lot of money." Her hands play with the fabric of my shirt.

"You always say that. Do you have problems at home, with money, I mean? I've never been to your place, I don't even know where you live." What should I say to her now?

"It's okay." Her raised eyebrows look at me reproachfully, making me sigh.

"Each of us has to contribute a certain amount of money every month and if I don't sell fucking drugs, it will be tight." Her astonished look makes me pause and I gently stroke her arms.

Before I can say anything else, she kisses me. I look at her in surprise.

"What's that for?" She smiles shyly, looks at the floor for a moment before looking at me again.

"You're just so honest, I admire that. And that you've never asked me for anything, you know. That I lend you some money."

Fuck. Shit. What do I say?

"Yeah, I mean, I don't want to burden you with that-" but she interrupts me again, her concentrated expression makes me curious.

"What's going on in your pretty head?" My hands wander over her sides.

"It's the end of the month, how much are you missing?" I frown in confusion, but when she doesn't let it go, I tell her the amount.

"$240, the rest I earned by helping in the neighborhood." But despite the high sum, she just nods, looks at me again and gives me another kiss.

"Okay, maybe I'll be your sugar mommy." I have to laugh at the absurdity, but the longer she grins at me, the more I think she means it.

"What, are you serious? Thats fucking crazy, how am I supposed to pay you back?" Her eyes look around, but since the classroom is relatively empty during recess, she finds herself between my legs again. She slowly lets her hand wander down my stomach until she squeezes my cock through my clothes and I close my eyes in delight.

"Hmm, maybe you could help me relax between classes." Her eyes sparkle mischievously and I look at her with a grin.

"Anything you want, sugar."

Let's put it this way, the next few weeks the breaks were filled with kissing in the back corner of the classroom, dry humping on the toilet or Carl doing his best to pleasure me with his tongue in the caretaker's room, like now.

"Ahh-, Carl. I'll cum if you keep that up." His head has disappeared under my skirt, his fingers are stroking the bare skin of my thigh and the sinful movements of his tongue are making me see stars.

As he adds a finger and runs it over my folds, slowly until he inserts it, he looks at me again.

"You coming for me? Yeah, be a good girl or do you want to get caught by the old janitor grandpa spreading your legs for me?" As my eyes roll back, he pumps another finger into me, scissoring it thoroughly and hitting that sweet spot inside me.

When I moan loudly, he grins.

"You like that? Just wait until I bury my cock in you and you cant walk straight afterwards, so that everyone will notice." When his finger presses my clitoris, I see white and as I come I try to muffle the sounds with my hand over my mouth.

When I get off my high, I blindly search for my panties. But Carl beats me first.

"Hmm, no. I think I'll keep it as a little souvenir. Maybe you can get it back when you come to my house later." I don't know what surprises me more: that he wants me to run around exposed at school or that I'm invited to his house for the first time.

"Really? I'd like to come." But he interprets my words differently, his fingers stroke my entrance again and I moan and squeeze my eyes shut.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Very well and for a very long time." When the bell rings, he lets go of me and I whimper slightly.

"Carl-" but he interrupts me by pulling back and straightening my skirt.

"I'm sure our agreement was between recess, now it's class time. Come on, I'll make it up to you later."

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Your pov

As we ride the bus toward his home, I take his hand and intertwine our fingers.

"But don't expect a mansion or any of that shit." Ever since we left school, he has been bad-mouthing his hometown every free minute he has.

"Don't worry, I'll only have eyes for you anyway." The statement makes him laugh and he relaxes a little. As we get out and walk a little way along the street, we are watched by a few people.

"Why are so many people staring at us?" When he look at me, I'm obviously confused.

"Not everyone here wears designer clothes that cost several thousand dollars. If you come here more often, they'll call you a princess." Giggling, I slap him on the arm and as we climb the stairs to his house, I look around curiously.

"So this is where you grew up." His shoulders shrug casually, but I see him trying to gauge my reaction.

"Yeah, where in the world could it be nicer?" I laugh at his sarcastic comment and we both smile at each other as we enter the house.

I hear him calling into the house, then a girl with red hair appears, carrying a baby.

"You must be Debbie, the little one is so adorable." When I hold out my hand, she just looks at Carl with her eyebrows still raised.

"What did you do to end up with her? Also my daughter's name is Franny and yes, I know condoms exist." Surprised, I don't know exactly how to answer, so I leave it to Carl.

"My tongue is magic, Debs. Too bad you won't find out yourself anytime soon, Derek has moved away. By the way, Franny seems hungry." I'm unsure of the dynamic between the two of them, as she turns away and walks away, I resist the urge to say goodbye.

"That was...nice." His hand pulling me towards the stairs distracts me.

"She's a real ray of sunshine, come on. The others aren't back yet, so you can be as loud as you want this time."

When we get upstairs, he leads me into his room and I look at the magazines, posters and little things scattered everywhere.

"Cleaning and you are definitely not friends, huh?" I laugh at my joke, but Carl has other plans than letting me inspect his room.

He puts his hands on my hips and pushes me against the closed door, my breath catches as his eyes find mine.

"Do you want to keep playing housemaid? Then put on a damn maid costume, otherwise keep your eyes on me." At his stern voice, I press my thighs together and, grinning, I drag my fingers across his chest once again.

"Would you like that? Me on the floor, my ass in the air, and no underwear? Oh wait, what a coincidence that I'm not wearing any now either." His eyebrows raise, I see his eyes darken with lust.

"Let's save this little fantasy for another time, right now I just want to see you on my cock." Smiling, I lean towards him and start kissing him. I loosen the belt I bought him and pull him closer to me by his waistband.

"I think I did well today. After all, I didn't complain about getting through the school day without underwear. Do I get my reward now?" Grinning, he takes off my top and looks at my lace bra.

"Everything you want." He drops to his knees in front of me and kisses his way along my thighs, lifts my skirt and presses a kiss to my folds. Slowly he moves his tongue higher and kisses my stomach, I lean my head against the door.

"Does that feel good?" I just nod, burying my hand in his hair as he puts his mouth on me again.

"Ahh- Carl, I want you now." His fingers stretch me, the wetness running down my legs, making me tremble.

"You got me, sweetheart. What do you want me to do?" His head lifts to look at me and I place my fingers around his chin, seeing the moisture on his lips.

"I've been prepared enough, I want your dick now. Let's see if it's as magical as your tongue." Grinning, he stands up and lifts me up, lays me on my back on his bed and lies down between my legs.

He places a few kisses on my legs, then stretches up on his elbows so he's hovering over me. Then he kisses my cheek and my lips, lets his tongue slide over them and lets me taste myself.

I run my fingers through his blonde hair and pull his body closer to me. When he pulls a condom out of his pocket, I hold my breath.

"You still want to do this?" His look calms all the worries I had. I nod, stroking my fingers over his heated cheek.

"I trust you." His next kiss is passionate, his hands gliding over my body, caressing every bit of exposed skin. I lift my back off the mattress and let him take off my bra. His head lowers to run his tongue over my navel. As he sucks on them, I moan softly.

One of his hands starts kneading my breasts and when I try to take off my skirt, he stops me.

"Leave it on, okay?" I kiss him in response.

His hand strokes my sides and my own hands rest on his shoulders as he presses the tip of his cock against my entrance.

"Ready, baby?" When I agree, he presses himself into me and for a moment I have to squint my eyes because it hurts.

Then I feel several gentle kisses on my cheek, my forehead and my lips. His attempts to distract me work and as I become more and more relaxed, he slides further into me.

Slowly he presses his hips against me, the stretch so great that I can feel him all the way into my stomach. He waits for a moment, whispering sweet things in my ears until they get dirty and I beg him to move.

My hands wrap around his shoulders as he thrusts into me for the first time, the air around us thickening as he grunts and a moan escapes me.

"You're doing so well, God, you feel so good." His hips move faster and faster, the pleasure spreads through my body and the wetter I feel, the easier he slides in and out of me.

"You are perfect, my perfect girl. Do you feel good?" His hands stroke my skin, gently pinching my nipples, playing with them and making me squirm beneath him.

As he grips my hips and pushes himself harder into me, my head starts to spin. My noises get louder.

"Carl- god, please go harder" And so he does, the room is filled with the sounds of our bodies and sweat forms on us.

"Baby, do you want to ride me? You have such pretty thighs." I nod and when he pulls out of me I can't think clearly, I just want him to fill me up again.

He leans back and as I stabilize myself on his shoulders, I sink back onto him. The feeling is even better that my eyes roll back. His hands grasp my hips, helping me move.

"That's right, baby. You're doing so good, riding my cock like the good girl you are." At his words, I tighten my grip on him and he curses as I move harder on top of him.

The faster I go, the more exhausting it becomes, but as I feel a knot forming in my stomach, I ride him so fast just to chase my pleasure.

Then suddenly as he hits my spot inside me over and over again, I go boneless on him and melt in his arms. My come drips all over him and as he continues to fuck me, reaching his own climax, I tremble in his grip.

"Just a few more thrusts, baby. Ah, keep holding on to me." Even though I have lost my strength, I move on him a few more times until he comes and I lay my head on his shoulder.

We're both breathing heavily, but everything feels so good, so warm and comfortable, that I don't want to move a single muscle anymore.

He carefully pulls out of me, I moan slightly at the loss. He gently lays me back on his pillow and gives me a kiss before throwing the condom away.

He pulls the blanket over us and puts his arm around me to pull me closer. I snuggle up to him and feel so safe that I quickly press my lips to his skin.

"That was wonderful." He also presses a kiss on my hair.

"That was incredible, you are the best. I can't wait to do it again." Our embrace becomes tighter. For a moment the room is silent.

When I whisper his name, he hums in response.

"I know it's cliche to say something like that after the first time. But I just feel it so much that it hurts to keep it to myself. I love you." As I lie on his chest I hear his heart stop for a moment and then it starts beating much faster.

"I- no one has ever said that to me before." When I raise my head and look at him, he doesn't look at me. Instead, his eyes are fouced on the ceiling.

"I just want you to know. I don't want to put any pressure on you to say it. I just thought you should hear it. You know, now that things are serious between us." Again he is silent and I start to worry, but then he looks at me.

"You are truly the most incredible person I have ever met. I consider myself very lucky." He smiles at me, then leans down and we kiss for a moment. It feels like heaven.

We lay there for a few minutes, just cuddling and telling each other how our day was. We laugh and as the sun slowly sets, I start to get dressed.

"I wish I could stay here with you. But you know what my parents are like." He leans back on his elbow, watching me get dressed and contact my parents to pick me up.

"Hmm, I think we would do it again. If you stayed here tonight, I mean." I smile at him, sit down on his bed for a moment and ruffle his hair.

"I wouldn't mind, darling." The nickname makes him blush and when he leans forward to kiss me, I playfully push him away.

"I have to go, are you coming down with me?" He nods, feigning annoyance, and as we walk out of his room, he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me towards him.

He steals his kiss there, but more than that he steals my heart.

We smile at each other and for this moment everything is just perfect. We go downstairs and just as we are back in the living room we hear a door open loudly.

A visibly drunk man stumbles in. I see Carl tense up next to me, staring at the stranger angrily. I quietly lean towards him to whisper my question.

"Who is that?" When he rolls his eyes, I get a bad feeling.

"That's my father, great isn't it?" The man in front of me is dirty, has unkempt hair and an unpleasant smile on his face.

"Should I ask my parents if you can stay overnight?" My gaze is more focused on the man than on Carl.

But he just shakes his head, and just as he is about to answer, the man sees us too.

"Oh, my son! It's so good to see you, not really, but I'll take your bed. Fiona has mine. Is that your little girlfriend? She looks expensive, very good catch. How much money did you rip her off? I hope it's worth it to go through all this drama." I frown in confusion, but when Carl freezes next to me, I become uncertain.

"What does he mean by that?" This time my gaze is directed solely at Carl.

"Nothing, he's drunk-" but before he can finish, the man does.

"How rude of me, I am Frank. The proud father of this child, at least one of my descendants has made something of himself and used his talent. He has my good genes, the good looks and I teach him the tricks. Like exploiting an innocent, very very rich girl for money. It doesn't bother you, I hope? You seem to have enough, but I hope my son returns the favor to you."

The words catch me so off guard that I can't move. I don't believe anything this man says until I see the guilty look on Carl's face.

"W-what? That's a lie, right? Tell me he's lying, Carl." As he runs his hands through his hair and tries to answer me, Frank speaks again.

"Oh, you haven't confessed to her yet? My fault, I should have waited. I didn't think you would humiliate this girl for so long. I told you this wouldn't end well." But Carl ignores him completely when he notices me moving away from him.

"Wait, I'm sorry. It wasn't like that-" But I interrupt him, already feeling tears gathering in my eyes.

"So what happened? You act like you don't want any money from me and-" Carl's look becomes frustrated.

"You offered me your money! You said if I matched it, everything would be fine for you." I'm almost speechless, is this all a nightmare?

"Are you serious? I offered it to you because you weren't asking for it. And now I find out it was your plan from the beginning? You just talked to me, just spent time with me to get my money? Who does that?" Frank's voice intervenes.

"I invented the strategy, my dear. It's turning out to be quite useful." But I don't pay attention to him, I just look at Carl.

"Please, I'm sorry. Yes, it was meant that way in the beginning, but it's different now. I-" My tears flow when he admits it and any feeling of happiness disappears. All that remains is betrayal and sadness.

"You what? What am I saying, you were probably happy that I only wanted you in return. I'm such an idiot. You didn't just take my money, you took my first time too!" As he comes towards me, I step back.

"Listen to me, I didnt force you to do all this for me. You wanted it." The more he talks the more desperate I feel and the greater my anger becomes.

"You idiot! I thought you liked me! I thought you finally noticed me too." My sobs get louder and my vision blurs. When he tries to grab my face, I slap him.

"My cue to go. I can see that you're sorting it out between yourselves just fine." Frank's footsteps fading away are nothing compared to the sound of my heart breaking.

"I like you, I really like you. At first it wasn't my intention to start a relationship with you, but then I got to know you and-" Every word that escapes him is only worse.

"Stop talking! You know what the worst thing is that I liked you for so long before you even talked to me. And I thought it was a miracle when you first spoke to me in the libary. I should have listened to the others, you only care about yourself!" I wipe the tears from my cheeks, wishing I could be anywhere but here.

Then before he can say anything, I turn around and run out of the house. But I hear him following me.

"Wait! Don't just walk away, I have to get this straight. Hey!" He catches me, turns me around and holds my tear-stained face in his hands.

"I'm an idiot, I know that. I'm sorry for hurting you. I- God, I love you. You hear me? I love you too. Please stay." But I just shake my head and try to free myself from his grip.

"How do I know if that isn't a lie too? You've betrayed me, I can't talk to you now." When my car pulls up, I get in without turning around. I don't look back, even though his loud curse can be heard throughout the whole neighborhood.

🔗🔗🔗🔗🔗

Your pov

I spend the next few days without saying much, but I cried almost the whole time.

I miss him incredibly, not a day has gone by in the last few months when I haven't seen him and now I've been alone for three days.

I wish he was here, but on the other hand I am so hurt and feel terrible. He is the reason for this.

I wish I had never found out. I wish he had never done it, never lied to me. Didn't use me for money, but worst of all, I don't know if he even likes me.

Today is the first day that I go back to school. Even though I put on make-up, choose a nice outfit and listen to my favorite songs to distract myself, I can only think of him.

His blonde hair, his beautiful eyes, the way his lips felt. How he felt inside me. Then I remember that he loves me and how he finally said it, something I have wanted to hear for so long.

But then I think about what he did and everything feels empty again.

As I enter the school, my friends come to meet me. They already know what happened, they all hug me and I feel a little better.

Until I see him.

And he sees me too. It takes all my effort to avert my gaze. To get my books out of my cupboard, but then I have to stop because he is not standing next to me offering to carry them.

I take it myself, close my door, but before I can go any further, he is standing in front of me. My heart stops. Oh, how his eyes shine.

"Do you need help?" His eyes focus on the books and I have to swallow several times before I can answer.

"No, I have to go to class now." But as I try to walk past him, he stops me.

"You don't answer my texts, you don't call me back. I'm not allowed into your house and you avoid me at school. What can I do? Please tell me what I need to do, so you forgive me." I laugh, but it is without humor.

"What can you do? Move."

I can see his shock, but he still doesn't step aside.

"Can't you hear me? I said-" but he walks toward me until I'm forced to lean my back against the lockers.

His eyes find mine.

"I can't sleep. And when I do, I dream of you. There's a - a hole in my heart that only you can fill. It hurts and I hate not being with you. It's even worse to be here, when you don't look at me the way you usually do. You don't smile at me, God, you don't look like you're in love with me anymore. It's hell."

Tears gather in my eyes, his words are so desperate, it hurts to see him like this.

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you took advantage of me. Before you slept with me." A tear runs down my cheek and I know my mascara is smudging.

"I know, I know. And I feel so bad, I'll do anything to make it right. Just tell me."

When I look into his eyes, my heart also hurts.

"Move, Carl. I can't see you now." This time he lets go of me and I go to class with tears in my eyes.

🔗🔗🔗🔗

Your pov

It's been four weeks since we last spoke, but it doesn't hurt any less to see him. Even if I don't let him talk to me, he doesn't give up.

He puts flowers in my locker, chocolate, and notes full of apologies and sweet promises.

Everything warms my heart, but it still feels like this money thing is unresolved between us. I know now that he likes me, very much in fact, as he makes it clear, but that doesn't change the real problem.

That he used me for my money.

As I leave school that day, I feel exhausted and, as I often do, I wish I had his arms around me.

Holding me tight, his lips kissing me, loving me.

As I wait for my father's car, I suddenly hear his familiar throat clearing. With my heart pounding, I turn around and see him smiling uncertainly at me.

"I know what I had to do and now I've done it. Here." He gives me an envelope and I take it uncertainly.

"Carl, your letters are flattering, but-" He quickly interrupts me.

"No, it's something else. Open it." The deja vu hits me unexpectedly and I slowly open the envelope, the content leaves me speechless.

"What is that supposed to be?" It's rhetorical, but I ask anyway.

"All the money I owe you. What you've kindly given me, I pay it back. Every cent. You can count." He looks so proud, I almost have to laugh.

"How- did you rob a bank?" He grins contentedly at my reaction.

"An old grandma." This time I laugh and he comes closer to me, slowly taking my hands.

"No, seriously. How did you do that?" He looks at me lovingly.

"Working in the kitchen every day after school, I found a part-time job with Fiona. The payment is bad, but it was worth it. I understand that money was the problem and well, that I wasn't honest to you." As I lower the envelope, we look at each other.

"Promise, no more secrets?"

He smiles and suddenly the world is a brighter place.

"Promise, but we continue one of our agreements." I raise my eyebrows questioningly, seeing him grin as he leans toward me, his breath brushing against my lips and he whispers:

"I'll still spend my breaks with you in the janitor's room."

The laughter that escapes me gets interrupted, when his lips meet mine.

#carl gallagher #shameless #x reader #love #smut #betrayal #love confessions #angst with a happy ending #angst

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simpledyiing · 2 years

Text

Don't Stand So Close To Me ∥ P. Mitchell - part two

Top Gun: Maverick

Captain Pete "Maverick" Mitchell x (Kazansky's youngest daughter) Y/N

Word Count: 3.7k

I'm not really happy with this part ngl it feels a little bit pieced together and doesn't flow smoothly but it's here. Hope yall can find some joy in this... anyways happy reading babes and yes I'm fully aware its fucking late at night

Disclaimer: there's a skim of smut, also smoking bc I found out Tom Cruise smokes and now I'm obsessed with the thought of it. Also I harbor no towards Penny's character so please do not come for me

Part 1 Kazansky Family Dynamic Masterlist

–2 new messages - The Cradle Robber – ...

The exhale leaving her lips died in her throat the moment the notification floated across the pitch black phone screen, dread filled her veins as her anxious mind filtered through every possible scenario starting with the worse and working her way down.

‘Is this a breakup text? No, he wouldn’t do that… would he? Did Penny get her shot at round two with him? Is he just drunk? Is this going to be an apology for ignoring me for days? Maybe he is just checking up on me?’

She feels like crying as the black lock screen mocks her of what was once in its place, the light blue skies littered with clouds surrounding her smiling face as Pete kissed her temple. But instead it was the black lock screen shined back at her, showing her reflection in the dim kitchen lighting. She can’t help but feel out of place considering everything was perfectly placed in the pristine kitchen, except Y/N who is drowning in her anxious thoughts.

‘Just fucking open it, you are thinking the worse…. But what if I am right? But it’s Pete, he is always so sweet and kind to me’ she gently slides her finger across the illuminating screen

Hey Princess, I know I haven’t been around much with work and all but I miss you.. Can I make it up to you please?

The exhale didn’t get caught in her throat this time but the anxiety still gnawed at her from the inside, ‘Peace or violence… he did neglect me for two days…’

“Mmm… I’m listening” it was still peaceful yet a little passive aggressive in her eyes.

I could come pick you up and we could watch the best Christmas movie ever made

The smile spreading across her face was involuntarily but unwavering “DIE HARD ISN’T A CHRISTMAS MOVIE PETE FFS”

I’m going to take that as a yes… I’ll see you in 30 FFS?

Most Christmas movies are corny, predictable, and boring, well this is exactly how their melodramatic love story started in a way..

Christmas Eve at The Kazansky’s Household

“I’m just saying mom, why couldn’t it have been just family tonight? Half of these guys are from Dad’s work, what happened to just a small family dinner?” the sigh departed Y/N’s lips shortly afterwards, Laurie hummed in agreeance with her younger sister’s despair.

“Sweetheart the holidays are about caring for others and surrounding yourself with good company, this is more for your Father than me. Just try and act happy for him at least..” it wasn’t though, this was her mother’s way of showing off the house, her cooking, and her marriage to everyone. The dinging alarm from the oven broke Mrs. Kazansky’s pointed look aimed at her youngest daughter “Okay, fine.. I need to go finish wrapping a few gifts if you got the kitchen covered” the only response was a slight wave of her mother’s wrist.

The stairwell came closer with each step until she turned left into the hallway leading to the backdoor, Y/N took a quick glance at the party taking place in the living room before slipping out.

She hastily lit her cigarette as the cold nipped at her delicate fingertips, she inhaled softly as a small sliver of peace washed over her heated body. “Your Father would kill you if he found out” floated through the air around her, ruining her newly founded peace, Y/N turned towards the man sitting on the back porch steps “Yeahh and I don’t think my mom would take kindly to you smoking at her house either” a small hum slipped through his fixed smile, Y/N shrugged her shoulders before making her way over to him “hmm.. But how about we make a deal? I won’t tell if you don’t?” silence followed as his outstretched hand came into view, Y/N didn’t hesitate to slip her hand into his much larger one “Deal, I’m Pete by the way” she hummed at the sound of his voice but also the warmth that encompassed her hand “Y/N.. you wouldn’t happen to be the Pete that flew with my dad back in the late 80’s” a slight nod of confirmation was thrown her way “Yes, I am that Pete but people usually call me Maverick” amusement danced across her face, this man sitting across from her was the beloved Maverick or better known as her ‘Uncle Pete’ even though this is the first time she has ever spoken to the man. “Hmmm I thought you would look older” curiosity plagued his features and laced through his words “why’s that exactly” Y/N’s eyes drifted across his face and made their way down his frame, “My dad said you didn’t age as ‘gracefully’ as he did, which was clearly a lie” there was an unusual wave of comfort that flooded her system, she wanted to blame it on the warmth radiating off of him but the gap between the two crushed that theory.

“I don’t know what that is if I’m being honest.. So I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult, sweetheart” if Y/N wasn’t so appalled at the newfound fact, she might have blushed at the pet name “ohh my gOd, How do you not know the tropes for a Christmas movie is?? Heard of Hallmark before?” the only response given was a simple shrug “I’m old”

“First it’s not an insult, you just share a lot of characteristics of the main guy in a Hallmark movie” Y/N puffed out a cloud of smoke before passing the cigarette back to her confused counterpart “the key aspects being a mysterious yet well-known guy, who either lives some outrageous adrenaline filled lifestyle or a rather unnoteable one with some weird past skill that somehow helps at the end of the movie, meets this ‘out of this world’ girl, that either saves him or his business. They sometimes might hate each at the beginning, or just bump into each other at random beginning scenes, until they fall in love… and blah blah.. Y’know?”

“Hmm I think you know a little too much about these movies, though I’m curious what’s your favorite?”

“Yeah maybe so, but when I was little, my dad and I would stay up binge watching shitty Christmas movies… annd Holiday Inn, it tops everything… your’s?”

“Aww who would have thought that Ice would be up all night watching sappy Christmas movies, Slider would get a kick out of this... And no the best Christmas movie of all time is Die Hard”

From an outside perspective, the pair would have seemed crazy as they argued back and forth over such a childish topic until the back door swung open to reveal Ron "Slider" Kerner’s head poking out to burst their bubble “Y/N, your father is looking for you, maybe shorten your ‘puff’ break huh..”

It was an almost comical ‘360’ Slider took when noticing Maverick sitting across her on the porch steps “Y/N anything he has said about me is a lie” the breath of laughter condensated in the night’s sky “Wow someone is either really full of themselves or paranoid, for your information we were talking about Christmas movies” the exaggerated eye roll from the older man triggered her own before an outstretched hand appeared once again in her peripheral, as the mere thought of having him touch her again with those rough, callous hands, a wave of heat shot through her body. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed as his hand dropped from her own, as he helped her upright. Until Pete placed it casually on her lower back as he guided her towards the entranceway that Slider just retreated from. Y/N felt her knees buckle at the sweet, confident smile he sent her way as he held the door open, the huff of breath forced itself into the air filled with the overlapping conversations taking place in the living room. As Y/N willed herself to take the first step into the doorway Pete’s voice stopped her in her tracks “Y’Know we could watch the best Christmas movie after dinner, if you like?” the laughter bubbling through her lips was the only confirmation he needed “Only if you sit by me during dinner” she felt like she could die just by his smile alone until he winked at her... once again the feeling of overwhelming heat coursed through her system “Deal”

“Sweetheart, I’ve been looking for you, where have you been? Your mother is throwing a fit, considering ‘you disappeared on her an hour ago’... I think she’s being dramatic like usual but dinner is about to start, so shall we?” Y/N looked back over at Pete before linking arms with her father as they made their way through the dining room.

To most people, they saw Admiral Tom “Iceman” Kazansky as a calculated pilot with a cold exterior that was off-putting to what he considered "sensitive" people but at this very moment, he was a doting father that was putty in his youngest daughter’s hands. As if she was the most important thing in this world, and she was to him. It didn’t help that Y/N was gleaming up at her father as he pushed her chair in, before sitting right beside her at the head of the table. The older Kazansky children couldn't help but roll their eyes in disgust as their father displayed his favoritism towards their sister so publicly, he didn’t even spare them a glance nor the people seated around them.

Present Day

“For the fifty time just because the movie takes place on December 25th, doesn’t make it a Christmas movie.. Don’t get me wrong Die Hard is a classic but not for that genre, baby” did Y/N end up staying up all night watching Die Hard movies with Pete? Yes, she most certainly did and she didn’t regret it at all even as the bags under her eyes throbbed in the dimly light diner. “Y’Know one of these days, you are going to finally agree with me on this, and when that day comes I’m going to say…I told you so” Pete’s gaze was blocked by the inside of his coffee cup, but he knew she was flipping him off behind the ceramic mug when no verbal response was given. His free hand lifted to entangle their fingers together across the table, a soft smile was sent her way as the worn cup clinked against the table “I’m kidding it will be a lot more dramatic, I’m thinking an air show that spells out ‘I was right, Die Hard is the best Xmas movie ever” Pete could still understand her clear as day even as “I hate you” was mumbled between bites of pancakes, before he pulled their joined hands closer to place a soft kiss across her knuckles “You looove me” a scoff slipped through Y/N’s lips “whatever you say loverboy..”

“Hi, I’m Y/N Kazansky and I was wondering if I could possibly have Maverick’s surprise birthday here on Friday?” Y/N appraised the older woman behind the bar as she waited for her to turn around “Kazansky as in Iceman type of Kazansky? And of course you can, anything for Pete” Y/N didn’t know if the twitch in her right eye was caused by lack of sleep or the possible second meaning to Penny’s words “Yes ma’am, I’m Admiral Tom “Iceman” Kazansky’s youngest daughter.. And thank you!” the giggle bubbling its way through Penny’s lips didn’t help Y/N’s involuntarily twitching “I feel like, Two admirals daughters walk into a bar would be a great navy joke.. Mm do you need help with anything for the party? I can bake Pete’s cake if you want” Y/N simply shook her head “No I’ve got it all covered, plus Pete just loves my cake, but thank you for offering I appreciate it” Penny’s shoulders fell at her words before correcting her posture once again “No problem, hun”

Y/N felt eyes on her the second she rounded the hanger, as she glanced through the rooms before moving to the next one filled with Naval pilots. Her eyes shifted between the group until finding a somewhat familiar face in the small group “Excuse me Bob, I was wondering if you could help me with something?” Bob’s face went flush at the mere presence of Y/N before stuttering out “Y-yes Ma’am, wh-hat can I do for you?” the flash of her smile made his knees weak he felt like he could pass out as he gulped down the air caught in his throat. “Y/N, what are you doing here?” Until Bob’s moment was ruined, he was so close to hearing her soft voice response if it weren’t for Rooster, Y/N’s gaze shifted between the two men before settling once again on Bob “Hi Bradley, umm I was wondering if you could relay a message to Pete.. I mean Maverick’s students for me” her sweet voice floated through his mind, and stored itself directly into his memory “Yes I can-n do that for you, what’s the message?” his palms felt clammy as he pushed the gold rim of his glasses up his nose “okay this is a secret Maverick cannot know but this Friday at 1900, we are throwing him a surprise birthday at the Hard Deck.. and I wanted y’all to be there” the nod of confirmation came shortly after that before he clear his throat with a “Yes, ma’am” the sweet smile mixed with Y/N’s hand resting lightly on his forearm almost made him hyperventilate “Please call me Y/N, ohh is it possible one of you can take me to my father’s office?” Bradshaw couldn’t help but roll his eyes at Bob’s fidgeting, but also at the fact that Y/N was throwing ‘good ol’ Pete a birthday party. Y/N’s question hung in the air before either could form words, and just like that Seresin was towering over her, with his signature smirk playing on his lips “I can take you, sweetheart”

The Kazansky’s put Operation: Birthday Boy into full effect, Y/N cringed slightly at the dreadful name her father gave the op but thankfully everything was going as planned when she received a text from her father saying “be there in 10 :)”.

Maverick was surprised when Ice asked him if he wanted to grab a few drinks at the Hard Deck, but his surprise soon morphed into suspicion at Tom’s unusual behavior. Pete ran through the possible reasons, ‘did he find out about Y/N and I? Is the Navy finally sick of my reckless behavior? Is he dying?’ but even as the uneasy feeling crept its way through his thoughts, he followed silently as Tom lead the way into the bar.

The screams of ‘SURPRISE!’ bounced off the hard deck walls as Pete’s eyes shifted through the pile of familiar faces washed in bright lights until landing on Y/N, standing in the middle of the mass holding a large cake with candles scattered across the frosted top spelling out “Happy Birthday to the best pilot EVER.. aka Maverick ♡” He couldn’t help as the grin spread across his face, he honestly thought his heart could stop at just the sight of her in his favorite dress with candle light cascading across her cheekbones. She looked like she was heaven sent, as she sent him a soft smile before mouthing ‘come here’ before flicking her eyes down at the cake.

As Pete came closer to Y/N he finally shifted his eyes down to study the cake in her delicate hands, the cake was littered with almost 70 candles “why are there so many candles on this? I’m not that old Y/N” his pointed look was cut off when Seresin shouted “Start Blowing Grandpa” Y/N moved the cake closer to him “Please just make a wish, I don’t want to eat candle wax”

The cake was cut, thanks were given and people started to disperse into their own little conversations, Tom listened absentmindedly to the conversation Penny was trying to hold with him “I don’t know Tom, don’t you think their relationship is a little bit weird” tilting his head to meet her gaze before drifting across the bar once more “Whose?” her smile twitched slightly at Tom’s inattention “Y/N’s and Maverick’s” hearing his daughter’s name however caught his full attention, raising his brow towards the older brunette as if asking for a continuation before the sound of giggling bounced off the walls. Ice steered his gazes towards the sound until it landed on Y/N, frosting mixed with bits of cake coating her delicate hands as the rest was plastered against Pete’s face “I don’t know, it’s just something about how they interact and look at each other.. It’s unusual I think something is going on between the two-” before she could even continue Ice was leaning closer to her, with a fixed glare “Shut up Penny, you know nothing about Y/N or Pete. You are delusional and I will not let you slander my daughter like that because you are trying to make her the next Penny Benjamin, the admiral’s slut daughter” if looks could kill Tom would be six feet under, Penny’s jaw was set and eyes blazing with an untamed ire, the overgrowing emotion built at the sight of Maverick’s cradling Y/N’s face in his hands, eyes full of adoration as he smashed frosting across her cheeks and smiling lips.

“Peeete you ruined my makeup” was mumbled through the thick frosting and cake crumbs coating her lips, while staring up in shock at the man who is equally caked “I’m sorry but weren’t you the one that caked me first?” even through the layer of frosting he could tell she was pouting up at him “Let’s go, get you cleaned up huh?” as he guided her towards the bathroom, unbeknownst to them a set of eyes belonging to a familiar face followed their retreating figures towards the bathrooms.

Water rushing out the faucet filled the empty bathroom lined with shiny white tile contrasting against dull grey stalls on the right-side wall, Y/N’s eyes floated around until landing on Pete’s side profile, as he wiped remnants of cake off his hands and face before turning to her with a wet towel “Alright, your turn princ-” was muffled against Y/N’s frosted lips before Pete hoisted her up on the bathroom counter, Y/N pulled back with a grimace “You put me in water” his fingertips danced across her upper thighs, until Y/N squeezed them together blocking his path to her lace covered heat “What does it matter, if you are already soaked… well probably soaked” the pointed look would have usually made him stop but the soft smile etched on her lips, pushed him to continue “please it can count as my birthday gift” her thighs relaxed against his hand instantly, the tips of his fingers brushed against the soaked fabric before pushing the ruined material roughly to the side, coating his fingers in her slick. Y/N’s hips involuntarily jerked forward at the action waiting for his fingers to slide into her but instead his hand left her body entirely.

Y/N held her breath as she waited for his next move until the dazed state was shattered at the sight of Pete licking his fingers clean of her “Sweet as ever” those three words echoing off the bathroom tile, forced her to push her thighs together for some sort of relief… Until the door swung open, the bar’s overlapping conversation along with a huffing Penny broke the room’s stillness “am I interrupting something?” Y/N fought the urge to roll her eyes at Penny’s faux innocence, the question was asked with such certainty as if she already knew the answer. Her eyes stared blankly at Y/N when “No” filtered around her “Oh good, well I brought you some towels to help with the clean up” Y/N couldn’t tell if the smile gracing the older brunette’s lips was actually genuine, that maybe she felt proud of herself for interrupting the moment or if it was a fake plastered on smile in an attempt to hide her indifference, either way Y/N couldn’t stand the sight of it. Maverick broke the tension by thanking her, before moving toward the towels in her hands. Y/n couldn’t help but laugh as Penny deliberately brushed her hand against Pete’s fingers that were moments ago covered in Y/N’s slick.

Y/N sat patiently on the bathroom counter as Pete gently cleaned the remnant of cake off her face, oblivious to the fact that Y/N was struggling with recurring thoughts, Penny’s conceited smile, the way Pete looked at Penny last week oblivious to Y/N across the bar, and then the worst one of them all… Rooster’s words on loop “everyone gets burned by him no matter what, he doesn’t change” She thought about bringing it up to Pete, but it never seemed like the right time, even during the movie marathon, during breakfast, or during the week leading up to his birthday. She stopped herself each time with the same recurring thought “don’t be selfish, you are probably making something out of nothing.” the gentle tap on her cheek pulled her back to reality, her gaze refocusing on Pete’s soft smile “You okay?” She processed his words for a few moments, conflicted with telling him the truth along with all her concerns, or lie through a fake smile and a ‘yeah I’m good… she chose the latter option, nodding eagerly with a quick “Yeah, I’m good” it seemed convincing enough considering Pete left it at that, as he helped her down from the counter.

“Thanks again for the party, I’ve been so stressed out over this mission…that its just nice to feel some normalcy and spend time with my girl” the soft kiss pressed to her temple would usually be comforting, but she couldn’t brush off the uneasy feeling building in her chest.

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matsur1 · 2 years

Text

A Sanzu Haruchiyo x F!reader ff made for Sanzu Week 2022!

Warnings: Violence, Swearing, Guns, and gunshots [I think that's all but if there are more that I missed, lmk<3]

Word Count: 6.5k

A/n: This is a compilation of the Sanzu Week 2022 series that I wrote!!

Your dad and the Akashi siblings’ dad were good friends even before you all had been birthed into this world. The moment your dad found out Mr. Akashi was having his first child, they both celebrated in joy.

A few years later, your dad and Mr. Akashi found out that both of them were having children at the same time. Making Mr. Akashi have his second child and you, your dad’s first child. Just like most moms, the dads also talked about how you guys could be good friends just like them. Mr. Akashi naming his son Haruchiyo and your dad naming you Y/N.

Now everyone was excited for your birth, but things happened. Your mom is a very busy worker who most of the time can’t come home due to her career meaning your dad does all the mom work. But Mr. Akashi said that his wife, Mrs. Akashi, could help him when he doesn’t know what to do and that both of them would be there to help.

Of course, as kids you both didn’t remember your times together. Then, Mrs. and Mr. Akashi got news again. Sanzu was having a little sister!! You both were still quite young so you and Haru didn’t really celebrate much. As soon as Senju, Sanzu’s younger sister, was birthed, Sanzu really thought she was beautiful, which she truly is. And you, you also thought she was very gorgeous. Aside from that, it’s like you’re having a sibling of your own too! Since you mostly hangout in the Akashi household. Soon enough, the three of you were starting to grow up so you could see more features of yourselves than before.

As you grew up, Sanzu made his own friends with Takeomi’s friend’s siblings and started to hang out with them! While Sanzu hangs out with them, you and Senju would usually play dress up. But when you weren’t present, Senju would play with Sanzu and his friends, sometimes picking up their manly accent.

One day, Takeomi and Sanzu were going to their friend’s household for a meeting and for Sanzu to play with his friends. Then Senju wanted to come with them and invited you to come along. Who were you to say no to meeting new friends and having fun with them, right? Or so you thought.

Senju introduced you to them. “Mikey and Baji, this is our friend, Y/N. She’s a lovely girl and she’s like an older sister to me. Be kind to her just like you are to me!!” Senju warned them. “Y/N, this is Mikey and Baji. They’re very nice and very kind gentlemen!” Senju exclaimed. Sanzu giving everyone a smile, keeping quiet and waiting for the introductions to finish so all of you could play.

After all introductions, everyone decided to finally play but Mikey announced, “Since we have a new friend, today is a special play day!” he spoke with confidence while everyone else tilted their head a bit, showing curiosity and confusion. Mikey went into his room for a minute and went out with something hidden in his hand, hiding it behind his back. “What are you hiding, Mikey?” Baji asked, trying to peak as to what Mikey was hiding. “I have a very cool surprise!! And none of you must touch it except for me,” Mikey said in a serious tone. Everyone’s eyes shone in excitement.

“Ja-Jan~!” Mikey said in surprise, showing his airplane model that his big bro, Shinichiro, made for him. He told everyone about how long it took Shin to finish which is why no one except him can hold the plane since it holds a special place in his heart. No one would want to see Mikey get mad, right? So none of you dared to touch the plane, everyone only played along with Mikey until you heard Senju scream in excitement that she wants one too but Takeomi, their older sibling, got mad at Senju for using such manly vocabulary which lead to Takeomi blaming Sanzu for it while you just stood there, wanting to do at least something but you were just a kid. A kid who was just like them, unlike Takeomi who basically took care of his siblings and played the father role for them ever since Mr. Akashi had been straying around due to the disappearance of Mrs. Akashi. It does make sense since Sanzu and Senju always hangout, but you still thought that it wasn’t totally Sanzu’s fault because as a kid, and a boy, it’d be normal for him to talk in a manly way which would make Senju pick it up. You felt down on their behalf.

Later, Sanzu went missing so you went to look for him to comfort him. When you finally spotted him, you were about to shout his name, but you saw him and Senju talking. So, you may or may not have heard the conversation they had. You were shocked but it wasn’t a rare occurrence for siblings to one day “hate” each other because of the nuisance the other is causing. You were an only child, but you always looked at siblings' relationships from afar making you understand different points of view making people think you’re so “matured” but in the end, you’re still a kid who wanted to enjoy your childhood.

Moments later, while you and Senju were reading manga, you heard screams. Making you and Senju flinch. You both ran to where the screams were coming from as soon as you could. The moment you arrived there, your eyes widened, heart beating faster than normal and mind blank. All you saw right at the moment was blood coming out of Sanzu’s mouth, blood on Mikey’s hand, and blood all over on the floor. Your breath hitched, not knowing what to do. All you could do was stare and stand there. You couldn’t even think of how Senju was probably so scared, witnessing this scene. “What should I do? What is happening? Why won’t my body move?” clouded your mind. Mind full of questions, you heard voices but your mind couldn’t pick it up well. You assumed Senju felt the same too.

Soon, Senju left on the verge of tears since Takeomi and Shinichiro told everyone they were going to visit the Shop for a minute, telling everyone should behave well.

Sanzu kept still so you decided to take this as an opportunity to talk to him about things. And it took a while for Sanzu to vent quite a lot of things that’s been bothering him. It all stopped when you heard a thud coming inside, so you asked Sanzu, “Should we check what that thud was?” But Sanzu shook his head no and replied, “You go on ahead, y/n.” You went to check and explored the Sano Household until you saw Senju crying on the floor. Asking what happened, she told you it was nothing but you assumed it was still because of the conflict between her and Sanzu. This time, you comfort Senju and asked her if she wanted to go and read manga since Shinichiro told you to make yourself at home and read some manga or play if you wanted to.

The moment you finally came back to your senses, all you could think of was to tell anyone. Be it anyone but a kid like you. Could be Shin or Takeomi. So you ran in their household until you found the front gate. You went outside to see if there were any people who could help. Running out of breath, you found some people in the distance so you ran as fast as you could towards them. Until you bumped into them. Ah, it was Shin and Takeomi on their way home. You were running after your breath so you couldn’t tell them as soon as possible. Soon, tears started dripping down to your cheek which made the both of them shocked, asking, “Hey hey, what happened? Are you okay?” Shinichiro softly spoke trying to calm you down. “Did something happen?” Takeomi asked. You couldn’t mutter words at the moment due to the shock kicking in so the least you could do was point at the house and Shinichiro ran towards the house as fast as he could to find out what happened. Then Takeomi was left with you to calm you down. “Hey Kid, calm down, okay? Shin already went there. Whatever it was that happened, it’ll be okay,” you could tell he was trying hard to sound calm but you knew that he was nervous to find out as to what exactly happened.

Later, Takeomi finally was able to invite you back home. You were still sniffling, holding his hand on the way home. He could tell you were shaking. So much. Then the moment you both came inside the house, you were greeted by everyone in the living room. Mikey being calm and composed while Baji was in shock. Senju crying and Sanzu with bandages on the sides of his mouth and some other parts of his face that Shin put on for him. Shinichiro looked serious. Looking directly at Mikey. It already looked like they were talking about what happened but silence came in when you and Takeomi came back home.

Takeomi immediately let go of your hand and ran towards Sanzu and Senju. Takeomi was too shocked to say anything else. All he could do was hug Sanzu and Senju.

Later, everyone had a talk. A long and serious one. Everyone now knew what happened but the reason? Mikey didn’t talk about it. Or should I say, he never talked at all.

This event truly traumatized you all. After your dad knew about this, he told you to avoid them from now on. It was only sometimes when you’d get to hang out with Sanzu and Senju again. You were isolated inside the house. It left you all alone in your own household. Basically becoming an inside child. It lasted long until you finally became a teenager. Of course, you wondered how everyone was doing now. So you decided to visit the Akashi household. And here you are now, in front of the Akashi household, rethinking your life choices.

You were nervous. Unaware of how they would react. You wanted to turn back and leave but deep down, you missed them. So much. Taking a deep breath, and convincing yourself it’ll be alright, you rang the doorbell. As seconds passed by, the more you felt cold sweat break through. Until finally, the doorknob slowly moved. You felt even more nervous, scared to confront them after years but you swallowed your pride and faced whoever it was behind the door.

It was Senju. She was all grown up just like you. Senju gasped in surprise. Running into you, hugging you. A few tears dripping from the both of you explained how much you both missed each other without having to speak words.

“Is this – Is this really you? Y/N?” Senju asked, “You’re all grown up now,” she added. “You’re all grown up too,” wiping the tears off your face. “How have you been???” You replied, “I’ve been doing pretty okay, how about you? And the others?”

Your conversation went on for a while so Senju decided to invite you inside. You noticed that the house was pretty empty and quiet so you asked Senju in curiosity, “Where are your brothers?” the smile on her face fading away. You tilt your head a little to the side, “If it’s personal then it’s okay –“ you were cut off. “Haru-nii went missing.” She said in despair. You were shocked. Flashbacks of the incident appearing in your head. “E- eh?” you stuttered. “We were all doing okay but one day he- he just disappeared. Everyone did. We all cut off ties,” Senju spoke in a guilty tone.

You tried to cheer the mood up by switching topics but it didn’t seem to work. Moments later, you just decided to go home and wrap it all up. Thinking where they could all be and why they disappeared all of a sudden. It took a while for you to fall asleep that night. Mind filled with thoughts. But you decided to cope with it just like Senju did. Sometimes, meeting up with her and hanging around the town.

One day, while you were shopping alone, you found a café and decided to settle in there. Ordering a cheesecake and iced coffee. While enjoying your meal, you took a good look outside the streets, admiring how lively the city is. Something caught your attention. Someone, in fact. The person had long lashes and the same hair color that Senju had. You wondered if it were a man or woman. Long pink hair and lashes with a black mask. It looked as if it was Senju’s long-lost sibling, you thought. They had someone beside them, a tall blonde and scary looking man with a weird haircut, no offenses to whoever that was. Then it slipped your mind.

You ran out of the café as fast as you could, running after them. But the crowd started to block your way. You had no other way than to scream the name you thought it was. “Haruchiyo!!!!!!” You shouted as loud as you could. Soon, people were weirded out by you so they made their way on the side to see who it was you were calling out for. There, in the middle of the side road, was the weird-haircut man and who you assumed to be Haruchiyo. The long-haired person didn’t look back but the tall weird-haircut man did. “You know her?” The tall man asked. Haru finally looked back and realized it was you. His eyes widened, but he kept quiet. You ran towards them and went to Haru, “Haru? Is that really you?” you were trying to catch your breath. Haru, which you assumed it was, could only give the tall man a look and the tall man left. “So it IS you?” you asked once again. “Mm.” You could barely hear those words but you immediately understood. As soon you processed that it really was Haru, you hugged him tightly, him barely hugging back but he patted the small of your back a little. “Let’s go somewhere else, you’re causing a scene in the public,” He finally spoke and used proper words, you thought.

You found yourselves in the park later on. You wanted to ask him why he disappeared so bad but you thought it’d make the atmosphere uncomfortable again so instead, you asked, “So, what are you doing nowadays?” Haru stood quiet for a minute, “Nothing much.” You groaned, “Yeah and what exactly is ‘nOtHiNg MuCh’?” you mocked him. He turned to seriously look at you in the eye signaling that it wasn’t funny at all. You lightly laughed, “Right right, sorry.” A few minutes passed by, “So what’s Tokyo Manji Gang? You in a gang now?” you innocently asked and read the words written on his shirt. No answers were given, so you answered yourself, “Yes, he is, y/n. Is it not obvious? Oh right whoops my bad. Thought I could talk to someone but looks like that’s not the case right now.” Making him hold back his laugh. He seemed more emotionless now. And quiet. Very quiet. But nonetheless, you still kept talking to him. Because you knew there was still a little Haru deep inside him that always caused trouble.

“Today, I went to a café. Right before I spotted you. I ordered iced coffee and a cheesecake. It was very delicious! I think you’d like the cheesecake. They’re your favorites, right?” You gave him a big smile. Not knowing you made him shocked because you still remembered his favorite even after a very long time. “One time, I’ll treat you there! Would you like that?” you softly asked. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot,” Sanzu turned to look at you and gave you a sweet smile.

Your heart warmed up at the sight. You really missed the past. How you were all so close, but now it feels as if there was a thick wall growing in between everyone. Still, you were grateful to see Haru once again. After a few moments of silence, Haru told you goodbye saying he needed to go do something so both of you told your goodbyes. You sweetly smiled by yourself while seeing Haru off. When he was finally out of your reach, you remembered. You forgot to at least ask his contact number so you both could keep in contact. That’s when you realized, you fucked up. How are you even supposed to know where he usually is? Or hangs out? How are you both supposed to meet up and eat cheesecake together? What a dumb mistake it was. “Fucking Haru, did he do that on purpose?” You mumbled in anger. Why’d he give you such a sincere smile and accept your offer then? You were so mad at yourself that you could shout right then and there. The opportunity was right in front of you for minutes. Even an HOUR. You left the park and stomped on your way home.

Returning home, you took a cold shower and dressed up in comfortable clothes. Angrily jumping on top of your bed, you heavily sighed. “Will I ever get to see him again after this?” you asked yourself. Tsk. But knowing that he disappeared even to his own family, you knew he wouldn’t appear in front of you ever again, would he?

Months passed, every time you go outside and shop, you’d always try to look for Sanzu in the surroundings. Basically low-key looking for him. But you never saw him again after that time at the park. You checked the park, the café and around the place for him or that guy you found him with. But no traces were found. God, you could be a detective just to find Haru.

And today was another usual day for you to go out in the city and explore – more like find Haru in the fields but alright. You happened to find a pretty formal dress which you assumed you’d probably need one day, so you decided to check the store. It seemed like a formal clothing store. While you were inside, you found someone buying a pink suit that matched the color of his hair. His hair reminded you of Haru but you didn’t think Haru would actually have that kind of style or would style his hair up in a ponytail. And *cough* no offense to Haru or anything - You couldn’t get a clear view of his face since he was turned in the opposite direction that you were facing and you didn’t want to creep him out by making him look at you or calling him out or anything. Sure, last time you did shout in the public because you found Haru but you were 90% sure this man wasn’t Haru. Once again, Haru didn’t have that kind of fashion sense so… you just left it alone. (No offense to him I swear) But that didn’t mean you’d stop looking for him every single day. Well not unless you were hanging out with Senju. She’d surely laugh and probably tease you even if you were just trying to help her out by finding her brother.

You and Senju had decided to do a 3-day overnight in the Akashi household since Senju had been telling you how lonely she’s been feeling lately. You’ve both been doing Movie marathons and skin cares every night and lots of fun stuff that girls normally do on overnights. But on the third day, Senju told you she had to go somewhere in the afternoon. You decided to go out too so you didn’t have to feel too lonely. Looking around some stores, visiting the library, going to a coffee shop, and all those self-loving stuffs that people do. It was dawn so you decided to finally go home, thinking Senju was waiting for you at home. You opened the door, removed your shoes, and yelled, “I’m back!!” but it was still quiet. Was Senju still out? Then you found a note on the fridge, reading, “Heya y/n! I got something to do tonight so you can go on and sleep without me. You don’t have to wait, I’ll be back late. Cook whatever you want, the fridge still has food and some pizza left. Take care<3” Oh? Senju? Out late? You thought it was okay at first since you also went home late at times.

You cooked some mac n cheese for dinner. You ate alone, house quiet with dim lights. After eating, you decided to get ready for bed. Checking the time, it was 8:09 pm. What’s taking Senju so long? You were genuinely worried for her. You were also scared that you’d lose her just like you lost Haru. And you didn’t want it to happen again so you decide to get into your shoes, lock the house and look for Senju. You ran and ran everywhere. Turning in every direction.

You ran out of breath after running around the town. You found yourself where the train runs. You sat down on one of the benches that train stations usually had. You were trying to catch your breath, wondering if Senju would disappear too. You sat down there for minutes then realized you heard screaming and shouting in the distance. You could barely hear it if you didn’t focus well. You decided to check what was going on. It was quite foggy since it was probably very late. The shouting gets louder and louder as you got closer. Then the fog cleared up, showing hundreds of people fighting. Your heart was beating even faster now. What have you gotten yourself into? You then recognized something. These uniforms, they looked familiar. You take a closer look, trying to avoid catching anyone else’s attention. Oh. There it was. Tokyo Manji Gang was written on these people’s uniforms. There were also ones in white. Is this a massive gang fight? Should I call the police right now?

You were about to run and call for the police until something caught your eye even more. It was Senju. And she was fighting a… a pink haired man in a ponytail. W… was it Haruchiyo??? They were in the middle of the whole crowd and you didn’t know any other way to get there to stop them without being involved in fighting. But an idea struck your head. You crouched down and tried to go through the crowd. Covering your head while your body kept being kicked and stepped on. Since there were a bunch of unconscious bodies on the ground, people didn’t notice you at all. You crawled and crawled, until you finally reached them, but the time you reached them, Senju was already knocked down on the floor and Haru was missing again. You tried to wake Senju up, but she really was knocked down. You brought her body to the side, away from the riot so she wouldn’t get hurt. Next plan was to find Haru. You looked around to find a pink haired man that should’ve stood out but he was no longer in the crowd. So you decided to walk around the crowd where he could possibly be hiding. You went round and round ‘til you found a train. You didn’t mind it but you saw a shadow inside the train. You decided to check it out if someone was still there, then maybe you could ask for help.

“Hey!!” You yelled as you made your way in front of the train. The closer you got the more you recognized who it was. “Haru?!?” you shouted. His head took a peak to see who it was. “Y/N?!?!” He was more shocked than you were. “What the fuck are you doing here???” He asked. “No no no, what are YOU doing there???” You pointed at the train. “That’s none of your business. Now get out of here!” He warned you, but you stood there trying to figure out what he’s trying to do.

Your eyes widened, “Could it be…Haru???” You walked towards him, about to step into the train and stop him. “I said leave!!” He shouted. “I won’t and I don’t want to. Stop this shit Haru!” you yelled back. He let out a ‘tsk’ and finally removing his hands from the train. But then, he reached for the bag behind him, looking like he was searching for something. Then he let out a katana. Eh?- what was he gonna do with that? Don’t tell me – “You leave me no choice, y/n.” He firmly told you. “H-Haru?” you stuttered, slowly stepping back. “I warned you twice, y/n.”

He swung the pommel part of the katana at your head very harshly. It felt like he put all the pressure to hit you in the head. Then pointed the pointy part at the veins of your neck. You were getting unconscious. You felt dizzy and your vision slowly started to go black. Until you felt nothing anymore.

Haru then put his katana back down and brought your body out the train and started continuing what he was doing. You could still hear a bit of things. Someone yelled again, “Sanzu… what are you doing he- Eh?- Who is that???” He was once again interrupted. He was very annoyed now. “No one you need to know.” He paused for a moment. “What the hell are you doing here Kakucho?!”

“It’s just as Takemichi said…”

It was until there that you could hear what they said.

You woke up. Your vision wasn’t clear yet. You felt a severe headache kick in. You were in a hospital room, you assumed. Someone was there beside you, sleeping. Then your vision finally became clear. Oh. It was Senju. “Senju…?” you quietly mumble. She slowly moved her eyes and woke up. Her eyes widened and tears started streaming down her face. “Y/n!” she shouted as she tightly hugged you. “Keep it down a little, will you?” You playfully told her. Your voice still a little hoarse. “It’s been years, how could I keep it down?” She smiled while she sighed, wiping her tears away. Wait – years?--- This time, your eyes were the ones to widen up. “Years…?” you slowly spoke, unaware of what she was saying. “Y/n… you’ve been in a coma for years…” she responded. “I- I’m sorry, if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have –“ guilt struck her once again but that was none of your worries right now. “No no no, I-“ you tried to stand up and walk towards the door but the moment you stood up, you fell down to the floor. “Y/n!!” Senju yelled. “Are you okay?” she asked you. But you were once again trying to process things. “The doctor said that when you wake up, you won’t be able to do many things as much as you used to. Because your muscles haven’t been used too well for years. Hold on here, I’ll call the doctor,” She informed you while helping you go back to the bed and rest.

A few moments later, the doctor came in and informed you about the things you should be doing. The doctor also told you about taking physical therapy. You basically just agreed on everything the doctor had said.

And there it was, months of physical therapy. You never realized how hard it was to walk. You honestly missed the days you could peacefully walk with ease 🥲 but after months of being in the hospital. Today, you were finally getting discharged. Of course, Senju still helped you on the way home and clean your apartment. She kept insisting that she’d stay the night at least for today but you assured her that you could handle things properly now.

The next day, you were supposed to look for new clothes since the clothes in your apartment had some permanent stains on it. But then you got lost since the city changed a little. You found yourself in a sidewalk with some open shops and some abandoned buildings. You tried to locate the current place you were in by checking GPS on the phone, but apparently there was no signal. Oh what luck you had today. You heavily sighed as you tried to look around and remember the place. Although there were abandoned buildings, the place was still crowded with people. You simply looked around and sometimes rated people’s outfits out of boredom. Then, someone caught your attention. A light pink haired guy wearing a pink vest and pink suit pants. Your mind rated it a nine out of ten but all of a sudden, you couldn’t get it out of your mind. It lingered at the back of your mind. It felt like a whole déjà vu. You sat down and thought for a whole minute. Then you remembered, right it was that suit you saw at the clothing store, the one who had the same ponytail as the guy at the train incident. The same hair color and shade of pink. What just differed were the hairstyle. Could it be-? You tried to run after him. Again. You didn’t know why you kept running after him, looking for him, and searching for him. It’s not like there was any valid reason for you to do so. Especially after what he did to you. To be honest, all that you wanted was just to see him again. To see his face and that sweet smile he had on his face.

After all, everything was just a déjà vu, wasn’t it? You, always running after him. But who cares? What matters is, you gotta find him and secure his sweet smile from being tainted.

After a few weeks of visiting the same place that you found Haru in, you still haven’t gotten a single trace of him nor have you found him.

One time, it was 4:00 pm but it started raining and you didn’t bring an umbrella. You decided to find a shelter but the only buildings you could see nearby were abandoned buildings. The rain started pouring heavier so you just went into one that looked stable. It was quite dark in there, making it look like it was nighttime. Finally settling down and trying to dry your clothes, you heard a low and dangerous voice say, “Who’s there?” you flinched at the sudden voice. “I- I was just settling here since it was rainin-“ You heard a gunshot and in instinct, you put your hands up. Your heart started to beat so fast and loud. You almost saw your life flash right before your eyes. “Leave.” The man firmly ordered you. At the same time, thunderclaps got louder, making you flinch even more.

Seconds of silence until he spoke again, “Tsk. Make sure you stay still then,”

Minutes went on and you just stood there. You sat down somewhere stable, making yourself comfortable as if no one was there. “You sound like someone I know… but I don’t think they’d handle a gun.” You randomly told the man. You were still scared but, you just felt like sharing it. “I told you to stay still woman.” He fought back. “I am still, I just talked, chill man.” You argued, mocking him a bit. You don’t know either why you talked like that to someone who is probably a criminal but, something about him made you feel comfortable enough to talk back like this to him. Then you heard footsteps, you thought it was the man who held the gun but it turns out it was someone else. “Who is this, Haruchiyo?” another voice boringly said.

Wait, Haruchiyo?- Was it him after all?- You slowly turned around to take a look at their features.

“I told you not to turn around.” Haru spoke through his teeth.

“Haru…” you softly spoke. He pointed the gun towards you, hesitation clearly showing. His finger, about to pull the trigger. …Bang!

“Stop, Haruchiyo.” The other man ordered.

You closed your eyes, thinking you were gonna be shot. But when you opened your eyes, you could see a white-haired man in a black tee, pointing the gun that Haru held downwards, saving you from being shot.

You heavily sighed in relief, knees dropping down to the floor, and tears flowing like a river. You could hear footsteps grow louder as they get closer.

The white-haired man raised your chin using his index and thumb finger. Taking a very close look on you while you were sniffling and tearing up. “Tell me your name,” He firmly told you. “Y/N,” you responded. Another tsk being heard from the back.

“I see. It’s nice meeting you again, Y/N.” He gave you a little smile, letting go of your chin and going back to Haru. He whispered something to Haru, but that was none of your concern. The man knew you?

“Wait… who are you?” It was your turn to ask. “Mikey.” He answered and went back to whispering something to Haru. A few seconds later, you calmed down. But then... “HAH?!” Haru’s voice echoed in the whole building. Making you curious and you looked at him. He was hiding the blush on his face. Mikey smirked then spoke, “Bye bye.”

“Wait! Boss!!!” Haru once again screamed. But he was too late, Mikey already left. You were clueless, still sitting there. Then Haru turned to give you a cold look so you tried to avoid eye contact. Looking away, he walked towards you. “Stand up. The floor’s dirty.” He spoke, lending you a hand. You slowly turned to look at him and his hand. Accepting his kind offer, you stood up and cleaned the back of your pants. It was still raining hard, so you both decided to watch the busy road through the one-way windows.

“I’ve been looking for you,” you softly confronted him. “I know,” he replied. “What do you mean by ‘I know’?” you asked. “You think you’re being slick? I’m part of the most criminal gang, let that be known, Y/N.” He spoke in a serious tone.

You huff, “So you and Mikey do those type of things now? Wow.”

“This is stupid,” he scoffed. “It isn’t, Haru.” You seriously said.

“I’m sure you have a reason for doing this. Your actions and you disappearing every single fucking time.” You lightly laughed, “It annoys me and I might come off as crazy for, y’know, still not letting go of a literal wanted guy that’s face hasn’t been seen. But you’re still the same. You and Mikey. You both still have a heart deep down. It’s just hard to search for and to tame.” You slowly turned around, walking towards him, “Your feelings will always need to be understood, Haru. Be it a murderer’s, an assassin’s, or the most wanted criminal gang’s.” You hugged him. “I can’t do anything to save you from your actions anymore but I’d gladly go down with you,” you slowly pat his back.

Seconds later, you could feel your shoulders get wet. Small sniffles heard on the side of your ear. You laugh it off, “Are you actually crying right now??”

“No, shut up.” He backed away from the hug, wiping his nose. You gave him a smile, then you noticed that the sun was finally back. Then you were finally able to take a good look at Haruchiyo. “Oh right! I promised to treat you cheesecake, right? Today’s good, yeah?” Not even waiting for his answer you grabbed his wrist and pulled him. You both went to the café that you told Haru about years ago. Thankfully, it was still open ‘til this day.

You went to the cashier and ordered while Haru sat down on a table. “I’d like two cheesecakes please, thank you.” You told the cashier. “Okay, two cheesecakes, is that all?” The cashier asked. You hummed yes as a reply. Then went to the table where Haru sat down. You kept a conversation going on between you two, basically catching up over the years.

It somehow turned into a serious conversation about what Haru did to you for years, especially the coma part.

“I’m… sorry for everything. I made you suffer over the years –“ you cut him off, holding his hand, “Haru… it’s okay. It hurt a ton of shit but you can suffer the consequences later on.” He painfully laughed, not knowing if he should feel relieved or what. “Actually, I –“ He was cut off once again.

“Here are your cheesecakes!” a worker came up to you two, giving you your orders. “Thank you.” You kindly told the worker as the worker walked away. Haru then started to enjoy his cheesecake, cheeks full. Having a small smile on your face, you started to enjoy your cheesecake as well, forgetting that he was supposed to say something.

After eating your cheesecakes, you both left the café. The moon was surprisingly showing up. Oh how time passes by so fast. You both were walking to I don’t know where either, until you remembered something, “Oh! Right,” you talked to yourself, Haru got curious and looked at your direction. You were looking for something inside your bag. When you finally found it, you handed a little bag to Haru. “Hm? What’s this?” He asked. “Open it yourself, idiot,” you teased him. He scoffed, slowly opening the bag. It was a necklace of his birthstone. With the name “Haru” engraved to it. “It was supposed to be a birthday gift for you back then but since you kept disappearing, I didn’t have the chance to give it to you. But Happy Birthday Haru!” You gave him a big smile. A sweet smile appearing on his face because you didn't forget his birthday. You were happy to see Haru smile again. “There’s something better that I’d like as a birthday gift though,” he stated.

“Eh?- Do you not like it? I’m sorr –“ he cut you off by grabbing both of your wrists, and placing his forehead on top of yours, “It would’ve been better if I got a kiss from you, y’know?” he slowly blushed but he chose to close his eyes instead. You chuckled, in nervousness and in embarrassment. Did he just- say that?- you asked yourself. “I love you so much. I wasn’t in my right mind when I hit you- I’m really sorry, y/n. I’ve always liked you. But I don’t think you deser-“

You kissed him. On the lips. Yes, the real deal kiss. Man, was he lucky. But you were luckier, you thought to yourself.

The light poles finally turned on, full moon, quiet streets, and him letting go of your wrist, hands travelling down to your waist, holding you tight, kissing you back.

Fin.

237 notes · View notes

sofoulandfairaday · 9 months

Note

Im wondering do you think andromeda got a job? And if so what could you see her working as?

So. My headcanon about this (but I've seen this more than once in the fandom, so it's not just me) is that Ted and Andromeda might both be Healers. Or better yet, Ted is a Healer at St Mungo's - a very middle-ranking one, though, both because of his blood status and because I just can't see him as the ambitious/career-driven type that you kinda have to be if you want to become chief of anything in a hospital. (Also, Lucius & Narcissa, and the Blacks before them, can't have made life/careers in the wizarding world easy for him.)

I especially like this because while he's a kind-hearted man and definitely a bit bland, I can't see him being a complete idiot. Andromeda is a Black, why would she fall for an insignificant man? Even Lucius was competent in the First War. (This is also one of the reasons why I can't see Rodolphus as insignificant or worthless or boring or whatever. He's married to Bellatrix, ffs.) Nah, Ted is a country doctor type. Parochial, but a good man.

Andromeda becomes pregnant with Nymphadora when she's 18/19, so very young, and I've always thought of her as a housewife in the past (especially since Nymphadora describes her as very proficient with household magic). With this being said, I don't think of her as the type to sit around all day when her daughter is off to Hogwarts, especially since she doesn't live in the likes of Malfoy Manor. Plus, she does heal Hagrid after the Battle of the Seven Potters, so my headcanon shifted with time. Now I think that either a) she's studied to become a Healer like Ted, or b) the two of them have some of side-hustle, like the equivalent of a GP's office for wizards (they can't all go to St Mungo's for everything) and she works there.

Being the sister of Bellatrix, and wearing Bellatrix's face, to me basically means that it's hard to get hired in any other place.

#andromeda black #andromeda tonks #ted tonks #asks #answered #headcanons

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cheralith · 3 months

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‘vogue’ happened on my ‘for you’ page suddenly yesterday night, but only now i had the time to properly check it out and enjoy it. i’m a big fan of ‘the devil wears Prada’ too, so spotting the details and cameos you added in it was really fun for me, i smiled all the time while reading it! that’s how much i enjoyed reading it! <3

i’m not a person to leave such a long comment on a fic unless it’s ao3, and i didn’t want to cloak in or occupy your comment section with a bulky comment such as this TT so i figured that leaving this message here was the right choice. please bear with me (and you don’t have to answer! i’m already grateful if you read this comment, truly!) because i absolutely loved it. for the sake of being brief, i’ll focus on the last scene but everything of this work was truly a masterpiece that i’ll come back to —i’ll stay tune it since you say it will be a series!

It's so... fresh. Your glasses were hiding such a view, like curtains to a window that unveiled the utmost rare and breathtaking sights. […] Geto studies it like an artist to a blank canvas, devoid of anything yet holding just the perfect amount of space-wanting, waiting to be filled with anything and everything.

omg… the way i absolutely folded! ꒰ᐢ⸝⸝•༝•⸝⸝ᐢ꒱⸒⸒ i loved the way you described here because —and maybe here is my sleepy head talking— the way is written really makes you understand just how focused geto is on y/n. the way he greedily yet patiently takes his time to study the face, the delicate way you described it… weak to my knees ! absolutely weak to my knees !

He eyes how you turn towards the building one more time, doing your usual adjustment of your glasses (it's a habit you often do in times of nervousness, he's picked up) […]

it’s kind of embarrassing how i was smirking here because sir… did you just implicitly affirmed that you do look at y/n?? it was such a nice detail to read because it implies that he does look at her enough time to link the action to a proper feeling, an expression of sorts. but maybe i’m just looking too much into it?? maybe i’m saying nonsense?? i don’t care, i’m delulu and sleepy!! ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

i don’t want to take any more space (it’s just a sentence after all) but i absolutely loved the way you described how geto felt ‘irritated’ from the ‘hauting’ image of y/n’s face in his mind! it was a nice touch! now on my last point —and then i’ll disappear on thin air!

It’s instead, the person that’s wearing it. Because somehow, the eerie sketch of the model's face that he had drawn years ago...... somehow replicates your own face perfectly.

that was a very good cliffhanger. as a (somewhat) writer too i can only imagine and theorize the hard work you’re probably doing for this story —the behind of the scenes basically, and if you wanted readers to stand on their tiptoes and get curious about a possible plot twist (it’s called like this right? my first language isn’t english TT) … let me tell you, you absolutely nailed it! because i’m both standing on my tiptoes with my jaw on the floor.

i can’t wait to see what you have in store for this ff because you got me hooked. and the last part only further points to a possible connection between suguru and y/n which i can’t wait to discover more about! even though they both don’t seem to realize as of now —well, actually now geto does but just to a superficial extent, thanks to that sketch.

i’m sorry for the long comment because sometimes i feel like i’m saying nonsense and repeat myself over and over again so it might come off as annoying or rude TT god or whoever was on charge really didn’t blessed me with the power of synopsis, which i can only apologize for. just thank you for writing this, it was really good and i can’t wait to read more from you! thank you and take care of yourself!! i’ll patiently wait and, once you’ll feel ready to update a second part, i’ll be here reading it and enjoying it! (/genuine, no pressure! in this household we appreciate the hard work writers put in their works and respect their time ofc!)

have a good day/night ! ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১ 💗

one of the things i absolutely struggle with is just writing too much and on my end, it seems a little tricky and questionable, but for those on the other sides of things, it just means more cake for them and this very much applies to comments as well, so anonnie, NEVER apologize for long comments!!!! it shows your appreciation for the work and as someone who's on the receiving end for it, i hold so much love for comments like these!!! and your english is nothing less of wonderful!!!

i was praying someone would catch the little glasses bit! it's been the little motif i had incorporated in the first chapter as a symbol of the reader's shield from the new world of her work so i was pretty proud of blending it into the chapter. it also ties in with suguru finally noticing our little assistant for more than just a coatrack—just the first stepping stone of what i have planned for these two huehue •̀⩊•́

other than that, thank you again for enjoying my writing and i'll treasure ur kind comments dearly <33!

#✉ ; letters to wonderland #mini series ; vogue

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dragynkeep · 1 year

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So my post about my frustration over people being uneducated about zoos when I just wanted to watch videos about gorillas got me some lovely anons, and I decided to make this a post so I can answer them all together in one complete post rather than numerous asks.

Obviously these are all anons cause no one nowadays can put their face to their opinions like a grown up but whatever, the point is anon, you are conflating your own personal views with reality around zoos.

I didn’t know Calgary Zoo, turns out it’s in Canada and I’m in the UK, so I researched it thinking that there might have been controversy or it’s not a good zoo similar to some backyard zoos here in the UK. No, the only controversy I could find was someone accidentily leaving a knife in the Westland Gorilla enclosure.

In 2009.

Here’s a picture I found of the snow leopard enclosure.

Anon, this looks reasonably sized. Not only that, but I’ve seen plenty of ledges, trees, and places for enrichment so that the snow leopards don’t get bored. Plus, plenty of room so the two that I’ve seen living there can run and play with each other. This looks like a bog standard enclosure.

Now for the spaces to hide, the size of a small living room is perfectly normal. You know why? Because that’s where they sleep. That’s where they go to relax and get away from the people, which zoos implement so that the animals aren’t constantly watched and have somewhere to feel safe and secure. That’s like crying that your bedroom isn’t the size of your whole house. That’s not what it’s there for.

Because good zoos ultimately work to giving the best living conditions that they can to their animals.

Also, shitty coolers? So you’re complaining about the leopards being given something to cool down, why do you think it’s shitty? Zoos often give common household things to their animals that we would also see, like boxes, coolers, ice lollies, anything that can be enriching, because that’s all you need. The leopards aren’t gonna care.

As for the shaving thing, you don’t shave snow leopards the same way you don’t shave your double coated dog. This just shows your ignorance, because you know WHY you typically don’t shave the animals? Because their coat helps in thermoregulation, because shaving their coat actually fucks it up and risks the animal actually getting sunburnt.

Can you really? Tell me, what’s the behavioural signs of stress in leopards? What’s the signs of them falling ill, or struggling with heat stroke like you’re suggesting?

Because humans who don’t go into zoology and animal behaviour are notorious for misreading animal behaviours. Prime example? Monkeys.

This cat is dead omg. Oh wait, it’s just relaxing.

I agree. Fuck unethical zoos, which is what I was saying, but you’re conflating unethical zoos with all zoos, which isn’t the case. This is not the 19th century, zoos are no longer tiny prison cells with animals in for people to gawk at.

But this last ask shows that you’re not interested in animal welfare or advoacting for higher standards so we avoid backytard zoos, you’re only interested in flaunting your anti humanity boner and acting like we’re scum, when this kind of extinctintion thinking is very fucking racist. Because before colonisation and industrialisation, many native groups lived with the nature around them.

Because we needed it to thrive so we could thrive, and we understood how to live in it. Humanity isn’t an evil thing, we are capable of very beautiful things and we should be working towards building a life where we can work with nature. Get over your edgy mindset, you’re a grown ass person ffs.

And yes, I have seen zoos that haven’t done what they should’ve, and animals suffering because of it. But that’s why we advocate for stricter standards, and support the zoos that are doing it right, that are putting in so much effort for conservation and education. Because without those zoos, plenty of species would be dead. They would be dead.

Keep that in mind. Hate unethical zoos, fight for higher standards, support the zoos that are doing it right. Educate yourself and get out of my inbox, you ignorant tool.

#zoos #discourse #luke.txt #everyone who comes to me #im very pro zoo #i have worked very hard to get to this point so i can talk about these things #and im not in the mood for wannabe animal rights activist who don't know what a toad is from a frog coming in here and spouting shit #educate yourself ffs

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sexualrevoluti0n · 1 year

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Y'know what, I'm really fucking angry with my ex tonight and I can't sleep because of it so I'm gonna write some of it out here in the hopes that it'll get it out of my mind so I can rest. It's just a big long vent so feel free to scroll by.

He said that he'd left because my mental health was too much for him, which has pissed me off more because when things were really bad I told him I wanted to admit myself as an inpatient to get help because that really helped me in the past and I was having constant flashbacks at that point, and he convinced me not to go. He said he wouldn't be able to cope without me, he wouldn't be able to manage in the house on his own (for like a couple of weeks, seriously?!) and that it wasn't that bad, that we didn't need to resort to that. He stopped me from being help before things got to a crisis point, and then when a few months later they got to that stage because I had no support (and he'd told me multiple times that he didn't want to hear about my mental health struggles so I had no support from him) he acted like he couldn't have seen any of this coming and I was just too much for him to handle and such a burden. When he actively prevented me from getting help and getting better before it got to that stage!

He came round this week to bring some of my things back but forgot basically all of the things. Acted shocked at the amount of his stuff that's still here - it would take multiple car loads to take all his stuff and furniture he's left.

Not to mention that he then spent the whole time he was here this week telling me how hard this all is for him, how awful he feels for leaving me because of my mental health, what a monster and a terrible human being he must be, all woe is me, everyone hates me, no one has spoken to me in months, let me emotionally dump all my current mental health struggles and suicidal ideation on you without asking if you have capacity for this when this is exactly the reason I'm saying I left you. I got forced into the comfort and rescue role once again, and he spent the whole time telling me that I was wrong, that the reason people weren't taking to him had nothing to do with the fact that he hadn't tried to talk to any of them in 5 or 6 months and was actually because everyone hates him. I spent sooo long trying to say that friendships work both ways, and that people often assume a friend is busy if they don't hear from them, and that doesn't necessarily mean they hate you. He said he was really hurt that he hadn't been hanging out or speaking with any friends when I had, and when I said that I'd been actively reaching out and arranging things with people regularly since he moved out he just kept telling me that it had nothing to do with that and that he's just such a terrible unlikeable person and none of those people are his friends, and how I knew so-and-so first actually so they're my friends not his, and it was just. So. Fucking. Exhausting. I'd said that I thought if some of his friends knew he wanted to hang out then they'd probably be up for doing something with him, but he was adamant that under no condition would he reach out or try to talk to anyone because they all hated him and he deserved it etc etc, literally went on so much about that and that he would not speak to anyone. Messaged me later saying he'd looked on Facebook and it just made him sad so he'd never go on again 🙄

And then today it turns out he's posted on facebook saying that he misses hanging out with friends and wants to see them. Just. Ffs dude. Stop being a fucking hypocrite.

He messaged me saying we still need to sort out rent. I've been busting my ass constantly chasing estate agent and landlord to change the tenancy and he has done fuck all about anything this entire time. There's no we, it's just me doing everything, like it was our entire relationship. All of the mental load, running everything in the entire household as well as managing his constant rollercoaster depression that he refused to ever get help for, and when he did try counselling he would stop the second he started feeling slightly less bad, and not actually follow through until he was properly stable and functional.

I'm pissed off because my mental health was doing really well before we got together, but his depressive episodes always lasted so long and he would never speak to friends or family about it so I was the only support, and I gradually got worse and worse myself from only ever hearing the most pessimistic answers to everything, so that I started to think that way myself. Because what was the point of trying to help him when I'd be told everything I said to help was wrong, that nothing would ever change, there was no point to anything but that that was just normal and how life was and that there was no point trying to change anything. Hearing that constantly for so fucking long.

I'd just got to the point where I was finally stable and happy and not having flashbacks again and had come off all my meds and was finally starting to enjoy life again when he decided that actually, after 5 years of me having to be monogamous with him because he was too anxious to be ok with me being polyam (which he knew when we got together and said was fine with but changed his tune once he actually saw me being interested in acting) that actually he was totally poly cause this cute person liked him, and we didn't need to have any conversations ever about what we wanted from this new relationship, no we didn't need to know what anyone's boundaries were, but oh sorry he forgot he promised to pick me up from the station cause he was taking to the other partner! oh he forgot he'd told me he was back from this partner's today and that I was waiting for him before making dinner, he wasn't actually back til late on Tuesday, but he feels sooo bad about this he's such a terrible person. oh he forgot we had plans tonight, he was too excited and planned a thing with the new partner, oh he forgot we had a party with friends doing all his favourite things this weekend, he was going to visit the new partner instead. You're feeling left out and like you're second best? I don't understand why would feel like that, you don't need to be jealous it's poly, no one's more important. Oh by the way it's been 6 weeks and me and the new partner are getting handfasted and talking about living together. There's no reason to be anxious it's not important it's all in your head, I love you both equally. I don't know why you want to talk about what we all want from relationships, we don't need to do all of that. You don't need to be uptight or worried. Yes fine sure let's have a talk about boundaries around sex when we're in the same house. But actually me and them are just gonna fuck anytime we want in any room and not have the discussion we promised, screw your boundaries. Idgaf that you've been waiting the whole two weeks our partner is here for this conversation to happen and have not been initiating anything sexual and turning down advances until you knew what everyone was comfortable with. We don't care about what anyone else apart from the two of us want. Of course you're still important. Actually your insecurity is getting really difficult to deal with. You need to get help to stop being so jealous.

#vent #personal #relationship #relationships #ex #polyam #breakup #breakups #mental health #mistreatment

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wardingoffevil · 1 year

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I posted 5,105 times in 2022

That's 5,105 more posts than 2021!

135 posts created (3%)

4,970 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@noahsthottie

@mrsbsmooth

@beesandfigsblog

@litgwritersroom

@rebelrayne

I tagged 963 of my posts in 2022

#litg - 660 posts

#love island the game - 512 posts

#litg fanfic - 252 posts

#litg s5 - 237 posts

#litg ex in the villa - 203 posts

#litg s2 - 159 posts

#ex in the villa - 114 posts

#litg ff - 111 posts

#litg suresh - 95 posts

#joseph quinn - 73 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#i still don’t feel he’s genuine and he’s been stringing kat along but i did snog his ass in the loo since i felt like it lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

Gary Rennell as a Dad

Gaz is adorable to imagine as a dad. I can’t deny how great of a father he’d be. I do see Gary having a big family, but for this post, he’s going to have three kids.

❤️ Gary is a nervous wreck while waiting for his kids to be born. He is constantly pacing back and forth, asking nurses and doctors the most ridiculous things, experiencing every emotion imaginable. It’s more of a rough time for him than the mom. And, yes, he most definitely fainted at the birth of his first child.

❤️ This is one of the most interactive dad’s there is. He has formula stains on himself, can change a diaper with his eyes closed, knows every song to every children’s show, has the babies down for sleep in less than five minutes. You name it, he’s mastered it.

❤️ Gary as a girl dad is such a sweet sight. He took on the role as the honorary tea party host. Complete with pink boa, tiara, and pink heels. If you don’t believe this little girl doesn’t have Gary wrapped around her little finger, you’re crazy. She asks him to jump and he asks how high.

❤️ Gary as a boy dad is something he was quite scared of at first. Since he didn’t have his dad around, he treats his son how he wished his dad would have treated him. Similarly to his daughter(s), this little boy is the sparkle in Gary’s eye.

❤️ Yes, Chelsea decorated the kids’ nurseries/rooms. Yes, Lottie also babysits when no one else is available. Yes, Noah is their full-time babysitter, other than Nan on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

❤️ The first time he brought his kids to work, he got up in his crane with them, and asked someone to take their picture. That is the picture he has in his wallet: his kids and him inside cranes. It fills his heart with so much love.

❤️ Do not go to Gary if you: have a cut and are bleeding, broke a bone, just threw up, etc. He will not only gag, but potentially pass out. He can’t handle bodily fluids like that. The only part of parenting he hates.

❤️ Nan babysits every Tuesday and Thursday. The kids absolute love going to Nan’s house. It’s still tradition even as they grow up to spend the night there twice a week. Gary doesn’t even have to ask, they just want to go.

❤️ Gary’s son’s first words were “oi, oi.”

❤️ Just like Bruno, Gary is a loud and proud dad. He is clapping the loudest, hollering the loudest, front and center for all the pictures and videos. This man knows the weekly schedule for the family.

❤️ Dating Gary’s children consists of: acts of intimidation that turn cringe (for his daughters), embarrassing stories, inappropriate jokes, and curfew being upped an hour. He’s a lot more chill about it than some may think.

❤️ The family has two dogs, two cats, a rabbit and a hamster.

❤️ Gary is the type of dad that you can go to him with anything and he will do everything he can to help you. Flunked a class? He knows you tried, and will reassure you that you didn’t disappoint him. Have a bully? He had them too and he will get them to stop, even if he has to scare them stupid. Broke something valuable? He can fix it or replace it. Got dumped? He’ll remind you of your worth and help you heal.

❤️ Christmas is a big day for everyone, but it is a HUGE day in the Rennell household. They all have matching pajamas, they watch Christmas movies before bed on Christmas Eve, and Gary is in charge of eating the cookies and milk that the kids left out. He even takes their letters to Santa and replaces them with one he wrote as Santa. For Christmas Day, they go to Nan’s and have a big dinner with everyone in the family. This family’s Christmas/Holiday cards are A+ every single year! 🎄

Thank you, @future-mrs-suresh, for recommending him! I hope the Gary stans enjoy this. You know I had to throw in a crane picture in for Gaz. 😉

95 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

Oliver as a Dad

I feel like if there was ever a more patient and nurturing man, it would be Oliver. As a father, that shines through. I do not see him having a huge family (like Bruno, James, Jake, Gary, Bobby). One to two kids would be his ideal family size. His first born is a girl and his second is a boy.

🌺 When his two kids were born, Oliver didn’t sob, but he did cry. He was almost scared to touch them because they were so small compared to him. He was scared he’d break them. But once they looked up into his eyes, he was smitten. No love could ever compare to the love he has for his children.

🌺 Oliver as a girl dad is incredibly sweet. He tries to be strong with her, but she is so much like him that he can’t resist when she gives him her big brown eyes. He sees so much of himself in her. She has all of his mannerisms and quirks. She is Oliver’s little twin.

🌺 Oliver as a boy dad is energetic! His son keeps him on his toes, and always pushing boundaries. You’d think his daughter would be that way, but no, his son is his complete opposite. He’s always getting into something. Cannot leave him alone for a second! Dandelion gets exhausted being his partner in crime.

🌺 He loves reading bedtime stories!

🌺 Breakfast is a busy time in this household. Food cooking, people rushing around, it gets crazy. Oliver likes to be the one cooking. He makes breakfast every single morning before work and school. Includes little pictures he drew in the kids’ lunch boxes, too.

🌺 Dandelion rotates sleeping in the kids’ rooms. She likes to check up on them through the night. She’s their cat-mom. And she is insanely protective of them. No one messes with her human babies. 🐈

🌺 Oliver actually gets along with his kids as teenagers. He’s laid back and pretty easy-going. He knows when to give them space. He’s not quite up on a lot of the trends, in which case his kids will kindly educate him.

🌺 His daughter’s friends have crushes on him and his son’s friends are intimidated by him (at first). He thinks it’s funny.

🌺 Oliver is Southeast Asian, so he loves to teach his kids all about his culture. He’s very proud of that. He likes to make a traditional dish a few times a week for dinner, and invite his nan over. He’s very close with her.

🌺 As a tattoo artist, Oliver’s kids have been hanging out at the shop since they were newborns. His daughter actually wants to follow in his footsteps, and would love to be his apprentice. She’s insanely gifted at art and can draw anything that pops into her head. Her specialty is portraits. Oliver’s proud to teach her everything he knows. His son would “rather die than work here…” (actual quote from him).

🌺 Bruno got his first tattoo by Oliver, and they frequently hang out at each other’s houses. Their families are pretty close. Every now and then Will and Kobi hangs out with them, too.

🌺 Oliver’s parenting style is just vibing and going with the flow. He has raised his kids to be genuinely good people. He is a proud father, and encourages them daily to chase their dreams. No matter what happens in life, he will always stand right beside his children and guide them. He melts my heart so much.

I haven’t played Oliver’s route, so please don’t attack me if things are wrong! I hope all the Oliver stans enjoy some wholesome dad content. Thank you, @libelle949, for recommending him! If you want some spicy NSFW HC’s on Ollie, Suzi has some for him here. 🖤

97 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

Bobby McKenzie as a Dad

Omg this is one of my favorites! Bobby as a dad gives me brain rot. Fatherhood was meant for Bobby. I wanted to save him for last but I couldn’t wait. I finally finished this

Note: Please don’t attack me if we have differing opinions. Be respectful or don’t interact.

🧁 It was a rollercoaster ride for Bobby when his kids were born. He definitely tried to get the mom, nurses, and doctors to laugh while putting on the gown, gloves, mask, and wrapping a stethoscope around his neck. He may have tried to lighten the mood but inside he was a nervous wreck. Bobby’s a crier. He sobbed for each birth. Full on ugly crying.

🧁 Bobby wants a lot of kids, I’d say about 3-4, if not more than that. It doesn’t matter if they’re all girls, all boys, even number of both, odd number of both, he’s happy regardless. A baby around his chest, a toddler wrapped around his left leg, a seven year old putting icing on the fresh cupcakes out of the oven—that sort of chaos is Bobby’s bliss.

🧁 All of Bobby’s kids inherited his pretty freckles.

🧁 There’s no Bobby as a girl dad or a boy dad—he’s the same dad to all his kids: energetic, lovable, silly, and supportive. He’s just happy to be a dad. Period.

🧁 Bobby is the child-at-heart type of father. The type of father that loves to see his kids use their imagination, their creativity. The type of father that doesn’t see “weird” or “eccentric” kids. He sees children being children. He may be an adult, but his childlike sense of wonder and curiosity still flows through his veins.

🧁 Bobby’s eldest daughter’s named Paisley.

🧁 Chelsea designed the nurseries. Bobby helped a lot with ideas and quirks. They’re an amazing interior design team and Bobby thinks he may have a future in it if his bakery fails (it won’t).

🧁 Bobby has no problem at all checking on the baby during the night. He knows the drill. Even if he gets home late, even if he has to be up in three hours. He’s making sure his children are alright.

🧁 He named cupcakes after his children at his bakery.

🧁 Nap time isn’t just for kids in the McKenzie house. Bobby likes to join in because it gives him an excuse to watch cartoons and nap.

🧁 Bobby calls Gary a lot asking him for advice, telling him what curse word he taught his toddler to say, planning their next “dad’s day”, etc. They were best mates in the villa and it remained the same outside the villa. If they’re not texting, they’re FaceTiming.

🧁 You’re insane if you think each of his kids don’t get their own unique boops from him, complete with sounds.

🧁 Bobby makes all the kids’ lunches every day before school. Something different every day, too. Complete with a cupcake/cookie and a smiley face Post-It note from dad.

🧁 There’s always some kind of music playing in this house at all times, the genre varies from day to day.

🧁 Bobby sings “You Are My Sunshine” to his kids. With a guitar or without.

🧁 Bedtime stories are reserved only for Bobby. Sometimes he’ll read their favorite books, sometimes he makes the story up on the spot. But his favorite story to tell is “The Adventures of LongBob Cupcake.” He tells the kids that it’s based on true events.

🧁 The McKenzie’s (including his parents and sister) do go to Jamaica, once a year, to visit Bobby’s nan. Everyone looks forward to it.

🧁 Bobby never gets mad at his kids for throwing parties while he’s gone. All he cares about is the kitchen not getting trashed.

🧁 Bobby’s another loud and proud dad that attends every single activity for his kids. Definitely can hear him shouting over all the other dads, and he’s always front row center when taking videos. His social media accounts are flooded with his kids’ things.

🧁 Gary, Rahim, and Noah still hang out with Bobby. Bobby loves when everyone comes to visit because it gives him an excuse to bake and to try new recipes out on them. Gary eats anything, so really he tests the recipes on Rahim and Noah.

🧁 Bobby is the father that every kid dreams of having. He’s so loving, so accepting, so supportive of his children. He is never NOT proud of them.

There are so many Bobby pages on here that are amazing, but one in particular sticks out the most: @ravenadottir (currently on hiatus), and it can be found here. There’s all sorts of information/route guides/headcanons for Bobby. She even has an amazing fic for him as well (Paisley Cuddle is a must-read if you haven’t yet). 🖤

107 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

Lucas Koh as a Dad

Hear me out…

This one is hard for me because I’m one of those who can’t see him as a father. Yes, it’s canon that he doesn’t want kids. So I’m going to step out of my comfort zone to deliver.

The only way he would become a father, or even entertain the idea of being a father, would be if he found the right person first. It would take years and years of begging and pleading for him to agree. Or a divine miracle. That being said, if he becomes a father, he’s only having one child, and it will be a girl. A son would trigger his trauma with his own father, and it would make him a cold and distant father. If he chose to even stay in his life, but that’s a different story for a different day.

🖤 Trust me, they already know it’s a girl. Lucas knows the entire process and what it entails. He’s going to go through it with ease. He’s going to be reluctant to hold her because, frankly, he’ll be scared. So many emotions will be going through him, but he’ll be calm and collected on the outside.

🖤 There is no one on Earth that will be more protective of his child than Lucas Koh. I mean that man will know where his daughter is, who’s with her, what’s going on with her, at all times. He will have a hawk’s eye on her.

🖤 Lucas may not always be the one getting up to change or feed her. In fact, I do see him considering a full-time live-in nanny.

🖤 The more that the reality sets in, he will become more in tune with fatherhood. It will scare him to death. He’ll constantly need reassurance. He knows he can provide financially for her, but he’s more scared of providing emotionally to his daughter.

🖤 If you think he’s going to be the type of dad to play dress-up or dollhouse, I’m sorry but that isn’t him. If she wants to play doctor, though, that’s more his thing. That’ll include him explaining what the tools are for. She won’t understand him but continue playing.

🖤 It’s true this little girl will have everything she could ever dream of: the sun, the moon, and every star. However, she will be used to hearing the word “no” sometimes. The last thing Lucas wants is a bratty child.

🖤 You know how parents go all out for their kids’ first birthday? Lucas will have the most exquisite, most lavish party for his daughter.

🖤 Lucas will regularly attend therapy. Having a child really made him think about his past. He doesn’t want his daughter hating him or resenting him later on, so he wants to work on healing his trauma so he doesn’t repeat it.

🖤 This is really random but I can also see his daughter being extremely beautiful. Even as a newborn. She’ll be one of those adorable little girls with pretty, long, straight hair. The older she gets, the more she resembles Lucas.

🖤 When it comes to her education, Lucas will have her enrolled in the most top notch school around. If there is one thing he’s strict on it’s her grades. He wants her to have an education before anything else. He wants her to be successful. I can definitely see him enrolling her in boarding school.

🖤 Dating will be forbidden until she moves out on her own. In his house her education comes before dating. Lucas isn’t stupid—he knows she’s beautiful and her peers know it too. If she does sneak around and date, without Lucas knowing, well, let’s hope she doesn’t get caught. Yikes.

🖤 I don’t see him always attending her events or activities because of his work schedule. He does try. He really does. Sometimes he just can’t get out of it.

🖤 Once a week, Lucas takes his daughter out to any restaurant of her choice. They order the same thing and sit at the same table. After eating, they go shopping or any activity that she wants to do. He enjoys one-on-one time with her. He enjoys making memories that will have a big impact on her.

🖤 Becoming a father has made Lucas grow as a man. Will he have fights with his daughter? Absolutely. He knows that. Instead of being passive-aggressive, like he usually is, he’s the first one to apologize. Especially if he overreacted. She is far more important to him than holding a grudge.

🖤 It may have been a long journey, but eventually Lucas will learn that he is capable of loving another human as deeply as he does his daughter. The fear of making a mistake will never leave him entirely, it’ll always be there. Every father has it, and Lucas knows it’s okay. He may not be the type of father that Bruno, or Gary, is but that doesn’t mean he loves his daughter any less. Lucas is the type of father who teaches structure and discipline. She knows she is loved, and wanted.

Okay, anon, I hope you enjoy this! It was a wild ride. I hope the Lucas stans enjoy this! 🥹

115 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Bruno Kaminski as a Dad

🤍 No matter how many children he has, Bruno will sob at every single one of their births. He will be an emotional wreck, yet so very proud. He will drop his phone on (at least) one of his kids while taking pictures of them as a newborn. Nothing too damaging, it won’t leave a mark.

🤍 Because of working late, Bruno does enjoy sleeping in, but since becoming a dad he’s happy to be the one to wake the baby up in the mornings. He sings their favorite song while opening the curtains, and he always asks if they had a good sleep. They reply only in babbles, but Bruno understands perfectly.

🤍 Bruno as a girl dad—he’s letting her pick out her own outfits and hair styles. He opts for the easy, and his personal favorite: pigtails with bows, but if she just wants to leave it down then he’s good with that too. He likes to let her be independent and make her own choices. Bruno is definitely all about Girl Power. Just seeing him as a girl dad makes my heart so full.

🤍 If Bruno has a son, that little boy will be his twin. I can’t unsee it. I honestly love that for Bruno since he grew up with all sisters. The bond they’ll have will be unlike any other, and I honestly want to cry thinking about it.

🤍 Bruno’s a baby at heart, so think of him as an extra toddler running around the house. He’s definitely a Labrador Retriever puppy with his kids. And my heart will explode from the cuteness.

🤍 Yes, he watches his kids sleep and makes sure they are breathing during the night.

🤍 Learning to talk is fun because of his Scouse accent. He teaches his kids bad words in Polish, too. When they are babies, and learning how to walk, Bruno holds their hands and helps steady them. When they’re in public, he tells people they have their “training feet” on. Imagining a tall dad, bent down, holding their tiny baby hands, as they wobble about.. I’m crying.

🤍 Bruno’s in charge of bath time! Suds everywhere. Toys all over the place. And that mess isn’t just from the kids.

🤍 He is that loud and proud dad at all of his kids’ games, rehearsals, recitals, etc. He has every moment on video. He’s posting them on every social media account he has. He knows when all of their events are and shows up early to them all.

🤍 His daughters are NOT to start dating until they’re “at least 45 years old” and he’s “too senile to know what’s going on.” Those are his rules, not mine. Their first dates include: having their date come in, introductions, small chitchat, and then be subject to Bruno attempting to be intimidating but comes off as awkward for everyone.

🤍 When the family wants steaks, hotdogs, or hamburgers, Bruno’s the type of dad that thinks he knows his way around a big fancy grill, but almost blows the house up every time he tries to use it. So now he’s only allowed to “grill” on the stove when his wife’s home. Or they opt to get takeout.

🤍 His kids will always have a pet. Dog, cat, hamster, rabbit. Or even a goldfish (iykyk 😉). Or an exotic animal. Or one of each. Bruno’s unpredictable.

🤍 Bruno’s the king of “go ask your mum!” The kids know that he’ll never say ‘no’ so they always go to him first. Sometimes he gives in (okay..he always gives in), but he’ll spice things up with a ‘no’ here and there to keep the kids on their toes.

🤍 Having teenagers isn’t as scary for Bruno as one may think. He’s very patient and understanding. He has older sisters, and he was a teenager once too. He does require some reassurance because sometimes teenagers can be mean. He does his very best to stay up on trends, and will learn all the TikTok dances. He can dance so it won’t be a horrible sight.

🤍 Bruno is super involved with his kids. He’s playing board games with them, coloring and drawing with them, playing hide ‘n’ seek, playing tag, etc. He’s 100% devoted to his children. They are his laptop background, iPhone lockscreen and wallpaper, his Facebook profile picture and cover photo. Every school picture they have taken are in his wallet, too.

🤍 On that note, Bruno is the ultimate sap when his children make him anything. He keeps all of their birthday/Christmas/Anniversary cards that they gave him, coloring book pages, drawings, paintings, crafts, etc. Every Valentine’s Day, when his kids are little, they give him a Valentine that says “(their name) loves daddy THIS much!” or “Daddy is my Valentine!” and he tears up. You will periodically catch him going through all of those keepsakes as his children grow up, and he will be crying.

🤍 It means a lot to Bruno to have his Polish roots incorporated in his kids’ names. His first born son will have the same middle name as him. His other kids will have a Polish middle name, possibly named after Bruno’s family members. His way of paying tribute.

🤍 Bruno + teaching his kids to drive = madness.

🤍 Bruno will get “empty nest syndrome.” He will be sad when his youngest child finally leaves his house for uni. Hell, he’ll get a little sad when all the kids are at their friends’ houses for the weekend.

🤍 Oh, and Will Kimura helped paint the kids’ rooms. Bruno keeps him on call when he needs something fixed or “one of the kids pours their food down the drain again.” Will knows exactly who did it but just goes along with it.

🤍 You’re crazy if you don’t think he’s got his kids in his stand-up routines. He’s got so many jokes about them and his life as a dad.

🤍 Bruno will love his children regardless of who they grow up to be. He only wants them to enjoy the moment and be happy. He hopes that he (and his wife) have given them all the tools they need to have a bright future. No one on this planet could be more proud of their children, or love their children more, than Bruno Kaminski.

@mrsbsmooth touched on the domestic life of Bruno as well. You can find that here. As well as some HC’s for him as well. Those can be found here and here. Let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to see! 🖤

115 notes - Posted October 17, 2022

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