#i cannot live my life like this

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage... #...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them... #...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent... #...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us... #...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long... #...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL #the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate #be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough #recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage' #i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself #and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was #i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want #don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please #and just... give yourself space

[valgeristik]

This scene for Gale triggered for me in the funniest place possible

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 gale #gale bg3 #bg3 tav #astarion bg3 #shadowheart bg3 #GHAUGH THE TAGS. TOO MANY. but alas. #kunst huli #aino bg3 oc #i wanted to fully color this at first but then i was like. wait. wait a moment. #i can make my life so much easier. i can live deliciously #but for real gale pls we COULD have at LEAST moved to the side #also formal apology for making posts long with my pic placement but it just looked the best in this way..... #and i CANNOT be assed to size my panels pre-upload so nothing is cut off weirdly. sorry #also i drew everyone but gale in their jammies bcs i cant be assed to draw armor. sorry again

[riickgrimes]

Do you still love me? Always.

#the walking dead #twd: the ones who live #the ones who live #twdedit #towledit #richonneedit #richonne #rick grimes #michonne grimes #andrew lincoln #danai gurira #mine and only mine #this is the most romantic sexy shit i've ever seen in my life #good lord #like it's been a week and i cannot move on

[samble]

"homura is an evil abuser who wants to control madoka and hates their friends" tired trope, canonically untrue, congrats on falling for the facade put up by a middle schooler.

"homura sees herself as inherently evil and abusive due to her upbringing, past actions, and status as a witch, which is still ongoing even at the end of rebellion" fresh, new, actually closer to canon, doesn't demonize a child for being mentally ill.

#pmmm #madoka magica #do you understand. do you see my vision #it is VERY VERY COMMON for people (esp kids) to see themselves as edgy and evil when they're 'normal' over minor things #eg kids who listen to metal and think they Cannot Be Understood..... #let alone literal child who has spent almost 1/2 her life in a time loop watching her friends die a dozen times #even nowadays due to Trauma Stuff and mental illness i deal w being like #'wow im an awful evil person for [minor offense] [intrusive thought] etc' #im not even a 14yo raised orphan catholic who lived over a decade in a loop failing to save my friends #and!! EVERYONE ignores that homucifer IS A WITCH. #witches canonically CANNOT CONTROL THEIR ACTIONS (oktavia attacking her friends etc etc etc) #even if she's 'not entirely a witch' or one w more control she's still canonically influenced by her despair and misery at the end of it #see: her familiars running around her soul gem 'whispering' to her etc #'homura is an evil abuser w no good qualities' posts (esp in 2024??) drive me up the wall ffs #sambling

[honeypleasejustkillme]

with how life has been going this year, i’m contemplating suicide more than ever before

#actually bpd #bpd problems #bpd vent #actually borderline #actually mentally ill #bpd fp #bpd #bpd shitposting #bpd favorite person #bpd mood #my entire life is going to absolute shambles and i feel like a fish flopping out of water.. nothing has gone well this year for me #everything has gotten significantly worse.. to the point of feeling like there’s no uphill this time #i’ve become so numb to life at this point that if one more bad thing happens i’m calling it quits #i’m tired of living like this #i CANT live like this #i physically cannot take any more this year

[pseudophan]

i just know in my heart that when dan came out at least one person from radio 1 dmed him like ... so you and phil were together that whole time right like we weren't all crazy

#the gossip at that place i cannot imagine #when dnp were there like half the djs were gay and EVERYONE was making dan-and-phil-are-fucking jokes #just like. live on air 😭😭😭😭😭 #the top bottom bunk convo about big weekend haunts me every day of my life #like theyre joking but its so CNSMXBDNFB #what a moment in time the bbc era was

[videogamelover99]

Reverse SKK AUs are so funny because we have this scary, edgy Mafia Executive who seems to be one step ahead of anyone who tries to get in his way and then one time you see your "mysterious" co-worker yelling at him and calling him a "bastard" without blinking and you just want to live and have your agency survive and not get nuked by the PM and suddenly the big scary Mafia guy devolves into a five-year-old child and starts yelling playground insults back at him.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #skk #soukoku #reverse!skk au #im tempted to make my own because the vibes?? impeccable #everything is the same as fanon except now dazai sneaks into Chuuya's rickety old dorm and looms in the living room like a dementor #nakahara chuuya #dazai osamu #though i will say i cannot for the life of me see chuuya working with kunikida they have very similar skillsets #...casually plugging ranpo/chuuya alliance in this au as well #bonus points if dazai is jelly chuuya 'replaced' him with another supergenius

[guardian-angle22]

Tarlos Wedding Celebration Event [Week 7] -> favorite s3 moment(s) -> TK sleeping on Carlos in 3.05

#911 lone star #911lsedit #tarlos #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlosweddingcelebration #tarlosweddingevent #did i give a single care in the world about the investigation stuff happening in this scene? no #and do i think carlos staying up alllll night to investigate a case he's not even on is healthy work/life boundaries? also no #but this was such an amazing little glimpse into their relationship #tk waking up cause carlos isn't in bed. then going out to try and convince him to get some sleep #when he realizes it's not going to happen tk just says ok scoot over then. if you aren't coming back to bed i'm coming out to you #then he just sleeps on him. like a living weighted security blanket. grounding carlos as he continues to work #the contrast of how tense carlos was in the first gif compared to the last few when tk is laying on him #i CANNOT #here i go rambling in my tags again but how am i supposed to be normal about this scene?? #my gifs #episode: s03e05 child care

[atomicpirateperson]

so I realized that around this time of the year is already past my 1 year anniversary of being hyperfixated on Rob?? time flies

this is the timeline of how it happened according to some vague memories:

1. i happen to see some random video of The Rerun on like, YouTube I think

2. me: hmm i think that one eyed guy is giving some real gender envy– wait. oh no. its happening. he's the new Chosen One, isn't he

3. im not hyperfixated im not hyperfixated im not–

4. I AM SO FUCKING HYPERFIXATED I LOVE ROB FROM TAWOG HE MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!!!

5. rob is a major part of my life and my headspace now. i couldn't stop if I tried, because some part of my brain views him as an actual close friend, and therefore abandoning this hyperfixation would feel extremely cruel. i would never do that to him and therefore he will be my imaginary bestie/adoptive son forever. i will never grow out of it. i am perfectly okay with that

#its always been gender envy that gets me hyperfixated on a character. like i dont think its ever been anything else lmao #and by his gender i mean the fact hes kinda just a Funky Creature Thing Whose Species We Cannot Quite Identify. that is the gender #this actually might be the longest character hyperfixation ive had so far... he really is the Chosen One #i used to watch this show when i was in elementary school but i didnt have access to every episode #so maybe thats why i have no memory of him from when i was that young? #or maybe seeing him in that video unknowingly gave me deja vu which is another reason why he initially caught my attention? #5 or 6 years later... the irrelevant forgettable side character from that one weird cartoon crawls out of the deep recesses of my brain #and ends up living in my head rent free #for over a year #and he shows no signs of moving out anytime soon #top 5 comebacks of this past decade-and-a-half (my life) #this is so weirdly poetic in a kinda fucked up but also funny way #wow this whole post is basically just me screaming “I HAVE AUTISM” over and over #rob tawog #tawog #the amazing world of gumball #tawog rob #dr wrecker

[sephospaganplace]

There are so so so many ways to experience the gods.

There is no right or wrong way. There is no blunt way. Its all feeling and ephemeral.

If you've felt warmth, if you've had a dream, if you've seen a crow that stares at you for too long, if something inexplicable happens and you're lucky suddenly, if you've caught eyes with a stranger and felt like you knew each other. If the candle flickers a certain way, if one time when you're singing your voice sounds gorgeous in a way you weren't expecting, these are all the presence of a god.

God phoning is popular on witchtok but half the time what they're saying is bullshit. I've very very rarely heard a voice and every single time it was my own voice, just suffused with something, saying something I normally wouldn’t say. Or maybe I would. I've never heard a clear, distinct, audible voice. Its an invisible world we're connecting with, its a different plain. We cannot experience it the same way we experience every day life.

We'll never sit down at a coffee table across from the physical manifestation of our god, and know that its them, not until after. And even then we can never be sure. That’s the nature of it. There are no absolutes, there cannot be. That’s what makes it beautiful. That’s where belief comes in. It isn't about being good enough or worthy enough or devout enough, that doesn't exist. That isn’t what its about at all. You are worthy even if the divine doesn’t manifest in a way we've been told is the only real way, and you are connecting even if you cant see it now. My most intense spiritual experiences are never something I realize are happening in the moment, its always only after that I can see it clearly.

The gods are all around us.

#Hellenism #Paganism #deity communication #my posts #I will never forgive witchtok for making an entire generation of pagans feel inadequate #You are good enough your practice is enough your experiences with the gods are good and normal #You don't have to have a godphone or intense dreams or whatever the hell they're claiming they're doing for clout #Even if what they're saying is true one of the Delphic Maxims is literally 'Do not boast about power' #Don't tear yourself to shreds #we all want to feel like this is real #to KNOW that this is real #but there is no way of knowing and having proof isnt the point #it isn't #it's about you and your soul and your spiritual journey and connecting with the magic in you #repeat after me #you are good enough. #the gods are with you in ways you cannot see #in ways you aren't meant to see #live your life #keep going keep building something in yourself take CARE of yourself #thats them guiding you too #ok to reblog

[andi-o-geyser]

“cody only has under an hour of screen time in all of star wars” maybe to you he does. to me he's the main character

#he's my most special little guy don't you GET it #in my mind's eye he also has at least an hour more of screen time from being in the kenobi show #because that's canon. FOR ME #bickering like an old married couple protecting luke and throwing bodies into the sarlac as a personal murder disposal on tattooine #everyone raise a glass for the first draft of the kenobi show that had cody chilling in the desert with obi wan as his secret buddy #where we would have had a deeper focus on themes of guilt and sacrifice and repentance and hope for a better future #by virtue of cody being there and exploring his new relationship with obi wan where they're foils for each other both driven by guilt #“my cody was so fun” yeah of course he would have been he's post war scrappy uncle cody killing bounty hunters every other thusday #how is that not the most fun thing ever #he's just so sunshiney like asfdsskk #he's my rotten soldier #he's my sweet cheese my good time boy #this is what i get for hyperfixating on clone wars for months on end #strong opinions on the rich inner lives of copy paste men and their 3 million brothers #*deep sigh* this is my life now and i love it and cannot save myself #star wars #the clone wars #the bad batch #tcw #sw #commander cody #codywan #tcw cody #clone wars #cc 2224 #(thinking of any more tags used for cody) #(nah i think we're good) #andis thought geyser

[hazelelel]

AHHHHAHAHAHAHHHH

ahh

AHH

MYBROTHERGOTTHISFORMEGUYS

gUYS-

i want to put it in my mouth

🫠

#pro snape #severus snape #harry potter #snapedom #professor snape #snape snape severus snape #AHHH #christmas gift #I opened it and just froze in awe for a minute and everyone was laughing at me. my other brother saw it and groaned like “kid.... no....”. #Have I ever talked about how one of my brothers has an entire theory that movie snape is 100% a Himbo and cannot be unconvinced? No? #He sits on my dresser and makes me feel shame when I don't live my life properly #my family is worried but at least my bro is an enabler #and of course he's scowling I would have it no other way thank you god this day for our daily snape

[shorlinesorrows]

qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.

do you see my vision?

#i might add onto this later but right now I'm too busy crying #“misplaced forever partner” ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT DESTROYED ME #neil ordering a hit to keep jean safe changed my brain chemistry #i need them to be friends #i need them to call each other and gossip and send each other stupid memes that only they understand #i need them to slowly grow closer as they heal until one day they can finish each other's sentences #and they ocassionally make super dark jokes about their trauma out of the blue (they bet on how people will react competitively) #i need them to call each other derogatory names but get Super Upset whenever anyone else talks shit about the other and offer to kill them #and i would love them to reclaim the spots next to each other that riko set #and make them their own #they're not partners on the court but they sure as hell are partners in life #the mcs ever #at one point andrew and jeremy are just looking at each other across a table at a restaurant as these two bicker #and realize they have somehow both become the Third Wheel despite the fact that 1) there's four of them and 2) jean and neil aren't dating #the amount of queer platonic pining i could fit in these traumatized people #the: “i'm lowkey obsessed with you but I Really don't like you romantically and I don't know what to do with it” #and the: “oh thank hell me too i thought i was even weirder than i already am. wanna go harass the fbi with me?" #jeremy and andrew watch this trainwreck both exasperatedly and proudly you can't convince me otherwise #cannot convince me that these four won't somehow end up living in each others pockets even if they live 1000 miles away #kevin pops in frequently as his usual wonderful diva self #anyway i'm going insane how yall doing #neil josten #jean moreau #all for the game #the sunshine court

[sysig]

Let him dad her!! (Patreon)

#Doodles #Adventure Time #Fionna and Cake #Fionna Campbell #Simon Petrikov #I cannot BeLieve that they didn't hug at any point - illegal. One million years dungeon #She slapped him (deservedly) but they didn't hug by the end??? I had to fix it #Jerry is my favourite episode so that at least was an easy choice lol #If anywhere would be a good place to cross that line it would be to comfort her! I can't imagine he'd initiate tho haha #She's just seeking comfort so badly <3 I know she's at least legally considered an adult but she's still a kid! #And Simon just keeps adopting kids lol #He's a good dad :) Not a perfect one but y'know? He helps where he can #Sometimes all we need is a parent figure giving you a hug and saying ''You know what? You're right - this sucks. But I see you'' #Fionna's quite interesting 'cause like - she's meant to be a Finn but there are a lot of differences between her and quite a few Finns! #A lot of that is Because she lived in Simon's head for so long but I wonder - most Finns have decent support systems and she seems a little #Well not lacking Exactly but her fallbacks aren't as numerous - and she's not able to fulfill her life's purpose so she's just kinda wayward #Seeing that kind of Finn finally able to spread their wings but still have a lot of Finn trappings like naivety and impulsivity ♪ #She's interesting! I quite like her :D Plus it's cool to see her natural EQ when she calls out Simon later in this episode unknowingly haha #I stopped at episode eight for a while but year her line about ''Then you got on the bus right? :D'' and him refuting it #Hmmm ♪ It was certainly interesting - I'm glad they addressed it :) #Plus she's fun to draw haha ♫ Her bunny ears! And the jacket she took from Martin </3 She has a fun design #And as always Simon is fun to draw :) Especially piecemeal here haha - just his mouth or just his eyes ♪ Cute :)

[n3ongold3n]

Ever since i saw the thongTM i could not stop thinking about this 🐳

#käärijä #häärijä #khäärijä calendar #diary bit coming up in the tags bear with me since this is #also my diary kind of; this blog #this thing has fought me every step of the way - and it shows i know #but i needed at least /some/ tiny little crumb of standing up for myself against my own defeatist thoughts #not just drawing. just. in general there are so many tiny and medium obstacles to accomplishing tasks that i just feel #like such an idiot for not just getting rid of the obstacles and moving on #at the same time i know how very unfair this kind of thinking is towards me since i #literally have the neurodivergence of cannot set priorities for my life or coordinate several things unless under strong duress #and then i feel sad for not even living my life unapologetically #((and disappointing jere :') - you have not read this that would be way WAY too embarrassing for me) #and yes i know you shouldn't trust yourself after - what was it? - 19:00? Well. If I didn't have to struggle until 3 pm to get through #the wall of anxious paralysis we wouldn't have that problem but here we are #anyway. off to bed. for what it's worth #got to figure out how to electronically validate my ID :''') and/or call the job center - fun! #my own stuff

[aroaceleovaldez]

Every description about Nico (especially the canon ones) describing him as “cold” can personally fight me. Nico is jaded, yes, and often closed-off and sometimes stand-offish and defensive but he is not "cold”. He cares SO SO SO MUCH about EVERYONE. He loves and cares with his entire heart constantly and that is a core part of his character. He doesn’t often make public shows of his affection but he takes care to be kind when it matters and doesn’t hide that he does care (usually, the only exception really being him being in the closet, but even then he only hid his crush specifically and not the fact that Percy is important to him). He fine with hugging his friends in front of a crowd and will sit with strangers at a campfire just so they’re not alone. I mean, heck, he’s an extrovert! We know this! He actively seeks out people and gets lonely very quickly and easily! If he can’t talk to living people he will chat with the dead! That’s how much he thrives on being social!

The only time Nico has ever been actively “cold” was the couple of months between TTC and BoTL when he was actively mourning Bianca. Nico is not “cold.” He loves so much and he does show it, just in his own way.

#pjo #riordanverse #nico di angelo #analysis #brought to you by: I saw a blurb for TSATS that said something like ''Will melted through Nico's icy heart/cold exterior'' #and it made me want to tear something apart with my teeth because of how Blatantly Incorrect that is #like that is a disservice to both their characters. #a.) Will did not ''fix'' Nico or ''change'' him or anything. He is just a source of joy in Nico's life #TOA even explicitly acknowledges that them dating did not ''fix'' Nico and that Nico is actively getting outside help for his trauma/etc #and b.) Nico is not cold!!! He has never been a cold person!!! there's a reason ''emo'' is short for ''emotional!'' #Nico's character is ENTIRELY DRIVEN BY LOVE AND CARE FOR OTHER PEOPLE #yes he's jaded but he's only jaded in a way of being afraid of letting people into his life because he's afraid to lose them #not that it stops him because it sure does keep happening anyways because SURPRISE. HE LOVES TOO MUCH. #HE LITERALLY CANNOT HELP HIMSELF HE LOVES PEOPLE SO STRONGLY AND SO DEEPLY HE CANNOT STAY JADED ABOUT IT #he just keeps going ''Okay *THIS* time I won't let this person into my life to risk heartbreak- AW FUCK I'VE DONE IT AGAIN'' #SO MUCH of his character is entirely driven by ''I care about people. I dont want them to suffer what i have suffered or suffer at all'' #like really the only times we ever see Nico being actively angry/snappy at people #is like a.) He is either actively being majorly hurt or has just recently been majorly hurt (Bianca's death. Being outed. etc) #b.) Someone is hurting others is going to bring harm to others (Calling out his dad in TLO. Killing Bryce) #or c.) Someone is doubting or calling into question his lived experiences (Basically any scene where people say he's pushing people away) #other than that Nico actually tends to give people way more lenience than necessary. he will put up with a LOT #and he won't even call people out on it or hold a grudge about it (i see you alleged Nico's fatal flaw. you're wrong) #unless it's like. something A Lot Of People Do Often (ex: push him away/exclude him/etc) #at which point he might be like. mildly upset about it but not much more then that. which is just a normal measured response. #anyways Nico's not cold he's just autistic