cody, scrolling on his datapad mindlessly: did you know you can't hum while holding your nose?
obi-wan: dear, why were you holding your nose?
anakin, butting in: i bet he couldn't!
cody:
cody: i was set up for failure.
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“Dear Force,” he prays. Threatens. He’s arriving at the bargaining stage from left to catch it off guard. “Have I not suffered enough?”
“Mrrrrp!”
“Quiet over there, I’m trying to reach a mystical entity.”
“Myam!”
“Thanks, Ponds. Knew I could count on you.”
Sitrep. Cody’s currently trying to take a nap. It is not going well.
“Why didn’t you turn into shrimp or something easy,” he mutters, shoving the pillow up with his shoulder.
He’s had an incredibly long night in the Jedi Archives trying to help find texts that might help his batchmates turn back into the humanoid assholes they are.
“Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.”
“Watch the hair, Wolffe.”
Wolffe chooses to ignore him, naturally. He continues impersonating a broken speeder and kneading Cody’s head.
Bly is— “Meep!” - still stuck behind Cody’s back.
Right. Nap.
His head kind of slumps back with the sigh, the stress flowing out of his shoulders like water down a stream—
There’s a rustling. One of them jumps on the couch, it seems.
Silence.
Cody deigns to open one eye and watches as Ponds drags a Jedi robe onto the backrest before nesting in it in quick, efficient moves.
“Is that General Windu’s,” he asks as if he actually wants to know.
As an answer he gets a stuck up tail and a frankly unnecessary view of his brother’s butthole before limbs, tail, and head are tugged into the fluffy ball of fur.
Alright. Time to close his eyes again.
Crossing his arms, he wriggles around until he’s - “Meep?!” - comfortable. Wolffe is still kneading, Bly is fighting a cushion, Ponds is living Cody’s dreams by being asleep and snoring—
“If you stick your tongue into my ear again, I’ll shoot you into orbit, Fox.”
“Rrya?”
“Yeah yeah, come here, you fool.”
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The first person to know about Cody and Obi-Wan is Hondo because he can't find Obi-Wan's space tinder profile anymore.
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Aayla: I'm so happy, I could kiss you!
Bly: Um...Neat.
*later*
Bly, lying face down on his bed: I said "Neat", Cody. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm kriffing stupid.
Cody, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Bly. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Obi-Wan confessed his love for me?
Bly: Didn't you thank him?
Cody: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked him.
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Medieval fantasy AU
(My goodness, I got a bit carried away. Actually spent an hour trying to learn mando’a grammar.)
Transcription: Vercopaö aru’e cuun motir kar’taylir a’den hettyc be te kal bal ash’amur
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obi-wan: cody, do you think i can be difficult to work with?
cody: there is no other jedi i would rather serve under, sir.
obi-wan: you're speaking to the negotiator, cody. i know how to spot when someone's dodging a question.
cody: you're my superior officer, sir.
obi-wan: alright then. everything you say in the next thirty seconds is free, starting now.
cody, immediately: you're cocky, pushy, reckless, flirty at the most inappropriate times, value vanity more than wearing armor in a war zone, have daddy issues so massive everyone can see it from clicks away-
obi-wan: but-
cody: i have 22.5 seconds left, sir. i'm not done.
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