#i cannot believe i stared at him every day for a year trying to convince myself i didnt likw him!!!!!! FOOL!!!!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

savagecowboy · 4 months

Text

𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐃

She couldn’t find the air to scream. Everything around her stilled, blurred, so her only focus was on the silhouette in the doorway; ominous, looming, a hard stare piercing straight through her. The shape was one her mind immediately recognized. One that had once brought her comfort, but now leaves her feeling like a fawn discovered by a lone, hungry wolf.

Her insides feel liquid, head dizzy, thoughts incoherent.

If he was here it could only mean one thing. “Severen” she whispered in a voice small, infantile in how ineffectually it filled the space.

“That’s right” he answers her, stepping through the open barn door into the light cast by the hanging lamp to stand before her in all his still living glory. “Surprised you remember, been awhile an’ all”.

It had been a year.

Frequently, Caleb had to convince Mae that he had seen Severen die, “burnt to a crisp” he said, she had not believed him then. Told him that nothing like Severen could be killed so simply, too much spite in his soul, too much fury to lay to rest. Caleb had reassured her, told her the story she had seen the tail end of on that terrible day. Over and over, until she needed it less to be calmed— to feel safe. She wanted to believe that they did not have to fear the reprisal of her former clan mate; it was difficult to do so. Slowly, the panic began to dwindle, from days, to weeks, until these last couple months, where the only time the crippling anxiety overtook her was when she caught something moving at night, a sound she could not place, a shadow that did not seem right. Mae had really begun to believe that they really were all dead, and while she was grateful that she would not have to face retribution for having participated in the extermination of those that had taken her in, she felt no less that she had killed a part of herself that day— had the thing she treasured most torn from her without warning.

There was no little shame— a consistent hidden regret— at what Caleb had done to her, but she made her peace and tried to live again in the shadow of another; independence lost, human again.

Now, to know that one of them— The Savage One— was alive, brought another confusing mix of emotions. Part of her wanted to run to him, be grateful to see that he lived, try to rekindle the familial bond they once shared. She was willing to beg that they could start again fresh, affirm to him that she had learned the hard taught lesson; understood she had been wrong. The more rational part of her knew what he was, that this creature would not suffer those that hurt his own— and she had in the worst way. He would sooner break her neck than embrace her, or should he, it would only be to crush the very life from within her. It was not that Mae did not feel she deserved this punishment, simply that she had the same selfishness of every living creature: the desire to continue being alive.

And he most certainly did not want that.

“I been watchin’” he tells her, breaking the quiet that had settled around them, “I know you changed”. Which meant he knew he had the upper hand. If he had ever felt threatened by returning to this place, he likely was at ease now being the only predator in the midst. Mae had not even thought of how to act against Severen— if there was any way that did not involve divine intervention— at his declaration of her ineptitude she realizes how weak she really feels.

All she can do is stare in numb horror.

“C’mere, there’s sumethin’ I want you to see”.

Fear cripples her, she cannot move. Not a bit of her trusts the charming tone of his voice, knowing him for the snake he is, flashing colors of security that turn deadly all too fast.

“N-n-n” she tries to articulate the negative, he isn’t having it. She is not quite sure if she’s shaking her head, or if that is just her body quivering. Severen raises a hand to still her tongue, slowly lifting the other so both palms face forward.

“Ain’t gonna put a hand on ya just yet, swear on Jesse’s grave”.

The words hurt, as they should, and an involuntary sob constricts her throat. She covers her mouth with her hand, begging her body to keep itself composed, desperate to not feel so scared. But she is. She is mortally terrified.

“Come on”.

Mae screws up what courage she can and steps forward, once, twice, at the third step she is now within ten feet of him and can see what she believes he wanted to show her.

A small gasp escapes from behind her fingers as her eyes trace a patchwork of thin white lines spiderwebbed over his face, down his neck. When he knows she can see he shrugs off the coat he is wearing and tugs down the collar of his black tank top, displaying the complex interweaving pattern that pieces his flesh together. His hands and arms are a nearly even, paper shade of white, so tightly wound are the scars. The light catches on a pattern of red, black, and yellow around his throat. It reminds her of the necklace he wore. He catches her staring and smiles, it shoots another bolt of dread through her.

“Ya, you like that?” His eyes are wild, she knows that look and what it means. She looks back down as a roughened, pale finger runs across the design imprinted through his skin.

“Guess the glass melted into me an’ it just healed over”, Mae’s breath catches, “Can’t say I’m sorry for it”.

He takes one slow step forward, “After all, I lost everythin' else”, Severen charges, she isn’t quick enough to scramble away and only manages to show him her back in the process. His hands on her are steel vices, she can’t even manage to struggle.

“S-Severen I’m—“

“Don’t you fucking try”, he snarls in her ear, his breath is cold and smells metallic. He must have fed recently, he’ll only be stronger for it. Mae opens her mouth to say something else, he curls his fingers tighter on her arms and she only manages to whimper.

“We’re long past ‘sorry’”. She can see death in his eyes and instinctively makes at a play for her own survival.

“Caleb wi—“

“Oh, I caught up with that little shit”, his smile makes her feel nauseous, “that was my last mercy to you Mae, I didn’t make you watch. Maybe don’t go back inside”.

Is that what she smells on his breath? Were there stains around his mouth that she had blinded herself from seeing?

Bile sears her throat, he tosses her down, Mae lands on her hands and knees. She braces to vomit, but nothing comes up, she heaves dryly and finally the dam inside her breaks. Tears pour down her face and she buries her flushing face in her hands. Severen stands over her, disgust written in every line of his face. He had truly enjoyed himself; rewriting the mistake that had been allowed to live— ripping apart his home like he had Severen’s own.

Revenge was a meal well suited to his tastes. This was not vengeance. This was a consequence, he took no pleasure here.

“Won’t do you any good either way” he tells her, slowly circling, “whoever those tears are for”.

She wasn’t quite sure herself. They were just as likely to be selfish as mournful, shed for either family she had tried to assimilate to, ultimately failing both.

“You betrayed us Mae, let down everyone, and you know what that means”.

Mae tried to speak, but her voice could not break through the clog of snot and tears. She sits back on her shins, wiping at her face with her hands, smudging dirt over her damp face; small hiccups shaking her.

“It means you’re done”.

The small blonde is still quietly crying, looking more fragile than Severen has ever seen. Was this the girl they had not met? Had the night creature they had known really come from this shell? Mae can read the disappointment in his expression and accepts it. She accepts all of it. To those outside their circle, they would not understand, she did, however, she knew their ways, what loyalty and trust had meant; how callously she had acted by refusing to listen.

And the severity of the cost for having done so.

Mae sits still while Severen fetches a shovel leaning against the wall of the barn. Numbly, she allows him to pull her to her feet, and they slowly walk out to a beat up old truck parked in front of the house. She is careful not to look toward the open front door, does her best to avoid focusing on the odd dark splashes on the interior curtains or the strange angle of a light still on upstairs.

She sits beside him, trembling in the cold of the night, not daring to turn on the heat. The radio is low, occasionally rasping some sort of bluesy guitar riff over static. Severen drives with a methodical exactness, more placid than she has ever seen him to be. He says not a word more to her. It doesn’t take long before they are surrounded by nothingness.

Before them lie only fallow fields far as the horizon, and any houses to be spied are likely just as abandoned. He parks, gets out, opens her door. Mae follows, zombie-like.

They walk a few paces from the truck to a spot where the ground is soft, indented from the surroundings significantly, he has clearly been at work here; most likely saving himself some time rather than reducing the effort for her. The shovel Severen has been carrying is thrust into her hands. She understands without him articulating his wish. Mae starts to dig.

There is peace in the work. She doesn’t have to think about what she is doing, her mind wanders, trying to find acceptance with what she knows is coming. Beyond her field of view she hears the sounds of ratchet straps, of things jostling around in the back of the truck, heavy things hitting the solid ground, she does not lift her head. When her arms are tired, hands blistered, and mind barely able to keep itself ignorant from what is surely necessary to come next, she hears his voice again.

“The ladder”. She didn’t realize how deep she had gone until she saw it, was not sure how she’d been able to get this far so quickly. He must have done more than start-- he had already dug this hole for her. There was a crack in her fatalism now, a last ditch need to fight for her life. Should she take the bait and meet the devil above? She backs away toward the furthest edge of the roughly rectangular pit.

“Severen, please” she whispered, voice rusty from exhaustion. Mae is not entirely sure what she thinks she is pleading for, her life, or his forgiveness; she was desperate for either.

“No” he says shortly, standing at the very edge, moonlight casting a glow off the white fractals of his skin. The malice in his eyes was all the answer she really needed, once more she sinks to her knees in defeat.

“I don’t remember you this weak”, he spits in the dust, jumping down, landing oddly soft. Mae can’t meet his eyes.

“This what he taught ya? To mewl and whine? Just like he did!” Mae flinches at his raised voice, as good as hitting her, though he is still a good foot or two from her.

“What about what we taught ya!” It takes her last vestige of strength to lift her head and gaze into the face of the creature that was like kin to her once— is her death now. He drops to a squat right in front of Mae, leering.

“Guess it wasn’t good enough for you”.

“No” she softly chokes out, “no, that’s not, it’s not”.

He has risen, turned away, dismissing her. Without using the ladder he leaps out of the hole. She realizes now, much too late, that this may very well be her last opportunity. In a burst she runs for the ladder, arms extended. Just as she reaches it Severen pulls it up and out of her grasp.

“You had your chance”. She can hear him walking away. Mae begins to scramble at the walls, trying to gain purchase to climb out, any spot she tries just crumbles in her fingers, the ever receding ledge too high for her to get a firm grip. Severen comes back into view carrying something, a large barrel of some kind. He sets it down, it sounds solid, he rests a hand on the edge of it, watching her, waiting for her to settle down. Eventually she does.

“This isn’t how I’d do it. I’d sooner cut you ear t’ ear”, she suspects that was his intention with the now expired illusory promise of escape. He pats the barrel, “We all had a good long talk once about what’d happen if someone fucked up. If one of us did something so bad that they’d have to be rid of ‘cause they were a danger to the rest”.

He paused, he is not seeing Mae, he is somewhere in the past, “Bein’ honest we were thinkin’ about Homer when we talked about it. Thought he might be the one to do some shit like this”.

Now she comes into focus.

“Maybe you’re more like the ol’ man than we thought”. His expression is somewhere between a smile and a grimace, it is miserable either way, and she hates the sight of it.

“Guess you deserve his punishment”. After his declaration Severen tips the barrel over.

Slimy, grey matter begins to spill out, pouring in audible glops, filling the empty space of the grave she had dug for herself. It took Mae a moment to realize what it was, by the time she did, it had coated her shoes. She spastically begins to lift her feet, the thick suctioning getting worse every time as more and more concrete poured into the pit. It was up near her calves when she heard the hard ‘thud’ of two, three, four more barrels. He really had made sure to be prepared. Mae had never seen Severen actually carry out a plan of this magnitude. She might have been impressed if she were not so busy being petrified at the prospect of being buried alive.

“Diamondback said there needed to be repercussions. That death wa'n’t for us, and shouldn’ be, the consequence for betrayal should be like death, without the dyin’”.

His words may have been from a million miles away. Mae was too frantic to hear them. She continued to struggle, just tiring her legs out more, slipping, coating her hands in the stuff, which she thought she could already feel drying. Severen watched with ambivalence, pacing the exterior, surveying her ineffectual attempts at escape as one might an animal at the zoo snapping at the bars.

“Only problem for you, is death is back on the table”.

Mae finally stopped, grey blobs of cement clinging to her all over and still rising— up to her knees now— and not slowing. She stares up at Severen, his eyes glowing with the incandescent sheen of a night hunter, true understanding of her circumstances coming to bear.

“That’s right”, he answers her unspoken question, “you get the same treatment any of us woulda gotten, you just stay human doin’ it”.

“But I did—“

“You chose him, he chose for you, that’s how it works!” He snapped, cutting her off.

“Don’t think for a second I’d nip you to spare you the sufferin’, you live and die by your choice”.

The vitriol he spoke with cut through her like the sharpest blade. Hopelessness finally settles in, she allows herself to feel the cold sludge around her, settling now at her hips, slowly leveling near her waist, lower body rendered useless. A hollow laugh escaped her.

“Can I make a last request?”

Mae asked, sounding more her proper age now, less the teenager she had been formerly immortalized as.

“What’s that?” He replied, stalled in place, thumbs hooked in his belt.

“Can we talk about some of the good times?” She felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. A long silence followed as he considered her question.

“Which times were those?”

“‘Member when, when we all went to that western double feature? N’ you n’ Jesse started doin’ all the lines?”

Despite himself Severen grins, an honest smile. It gets her laughing, the reflection of that memory in his face.

“An’ that time we went to the carnival an’ Diamondback joined in with the jugglers?”

The fits really hit her and she almost forgets that she is being left to die. Slowly her laughter fades, face wet, it hurts to try and wipe away the dampness— hands still scratchy with muck no matter how many times she tries to clean them on her soiled clothes— so she leaves it. Mae thinks she can just hear Severen chuckling to himself.

“Ya, good times” he repeats, it fades from joy to solemnity, and she knows what he is remembering, his moment of compassion ebbing.

“I understand, you know, I almost wish I didn’t, could play dumb, but…I understand”. Mae sighs, losing her last vestige of laughter as well, looking up again to meet his dead eyes. Severen gives her one curt nod.

“Good”. There isn’t much else to say.

There is a warm smell on the air, the beginnings of dawn on the rise, he will have to leave soon. Severen picks another shovel off the ground— the one he probably started this pit with— and begins pushing dirt in around her.

“Did it take long, to do all this?” She asks, more to fill the air than anything else. He works silently for a bit.

“It’s wider than you think” he answers. Mae nods to herself. It explained why she couldn’t get her footing on the walls.

“Only time I was glad I learned how to dig trenches. Who knew war an’ prison was good for sumethin’”. He finds it amusing, Mae doesn’t know what to say.

Soon the piles of earth begin to tumble inward, resting on top of the concrete holding her legs, covering her arms, chest. Despite herself, she imagines this happening to Homer. How he would scream, how he would have fought, and all Severen had to do was tell her where to dig. Mae tried to fight back the misery, but there was less and less point.

“I didn’t want this” she shakily sighs, still not quite cried out.

“No one did” Severen responds, his voice is cold, “None of it. Me least of all”.

Mae couldn’t help hearing his warning again, and again, all of them “he’s not one of us”, yet she had insisted. To what end? Had any of it been worth it?

“I know you don’t want to hear it Severen”.

“Then don’t”.

“Soon I won’t be able to…”

“Good”.

“I just want to apologize”.

“I don’t want your apology!” He flings in another load of dirt— it barely misses hitting her in the face.

“It ain’t gonna do me no good, an’ I ‘specially ain’t interested in you gettin’ a load off your chest.”

What understanding that she felt she may have rekindled between them was gone in an instant. That tie was severed, a bond lost forever. If she could manage to regret one thing more, that was it.

“Ok”.

Severen only stops his work again when her head is the last part of her to be covered. The sky above lightening from black to navy.

“I only got one last thing to say”, he sticks the shovel into the ground and leans on the handle. He takes the moment, looking out at the horizon.

“He wasn’t one of us, you were. I hope you know what that meant. What this means”.

She thinks she still does. She would have known it for certain once, a year ago; what feels like a lifetime gone now. In her heart Mae hopes that when all this is over she will wake up and be back in the RV, or a station wagon, or a musty couch in an old motel; waking up to the moonrise ready for a night on the prowl.

As her world empties of sight, nothing but loose dark and the dry, dusty smell of dead earth in her nose she lets herself succumb to the nothingness.

Severen drops his shovel.

He does not worry about covering anything up or looking less conspicuous, just tosses the now empty barrels into the back of the truck and hops in the cab. He glances back in the side mirror at the spot where Mae now resides; knowing he could only fulfill the retribution they had put forth— his variation at least— within the interpretable context of the idea invented by the others. They had left the task, the action, malleable by the individual enacting the judgement, hoping to never implement it; unsure of what it would mean to do so. The others would understand he hopes; would think he did as they had wanted, as they would have done.

Dawn is at his heels, he needs to get moving, it seems so hard to leave though, not for what he is leaving here, but for what he has accomplished. Caleb and his wretched family dead, Mae punished, there is nothing to draw him back here anymore to this place; he finally is free. It is strange after so long, planning, observing, to start anew. He hates the very concept, yet there is nothing for it.

With a frustrated sigh he looks back toward ever increasing brightness and throws the truck in gear. He is back on the road, heading toward town proper, even though it will be beyond reach before daybreak. Just in case of this exact eventuality he made sure to give himself a secure hideaway. It is not much from the outside, a dilapidated old barn that fits in with the rest of the abandoned landscape. He had found it quite useful in previous trips to the surroundings, just between both targets, uninteresting to the random passerby, which avoided the need for too much outward disguise. He drives in the open double doors and parks, hopping out to close it up just as the first rays of sunlight beam out across the sun dried land.

His work is now complete.

Weariness takes over, not only from the exhaustion of the day, but the toll the night has taken. It is not regret he feels, just the empty reward of an unwelcome job done. There is no recognition to be given, no joy for finishing this task, only loose ends tied.

Severen drags his feet over to an old storage box deep in the shadows of the barn, lifts the lid and climbs inside. He took the time to install an interior lock, latches it tight, testing it to make sure— no sense risking sun exposure by the hapless intruder. Never in his life had he needed to take such extraneous precautions, only now that he is alone does he think proactively, taking measures to ensure his protection.

There was no one else to watch his back.

Deep in the recesses of his mind he thought he could hear Jesse making light of the situation; joking that he'd finally learned some self preservation, all it took was total isolation. There were others out there in the world, he knew that from meeting Homer, none of them would be like the family he had known; neither did he seek to replace them.

He was a lonesome rider through the night now, and for the long and distant future. His journey would begin again at the setting of the sun.

#near dark #near dark fanfic #severen van sickle #✘ ONE SHOT.

1 note · View note

crestfalien · 2 years

Text

It’s About Time

21 October 2022

After finding out that Christine actually had a conversation with her father, Fransesca was left speechless. She had no idea of how she should respond to the news that she just knew from her daughter. The news about how her father tried to reach her family after years of disowning and throwing her away as if she never existed in his life.

It was a mixed feeling for her, who tried her best to cope with all the things that happened. She’s happy that things between them finally could be settled after years of miscommunication and anger in between. She couldn’t be happier to know the fact but she knew… she knew that something’s up for no reason. It’s very unlikely for Anderson to act that way.

For Fransesca, she found it weird. She found the matter… a rather interesting yet scary thing.

Nobody knew what he would plan after he tried to reach for Christine days ago. Perhaps, he would really try his best to bond with her once again or to take her custody and claim Christine away, just like the nightmare she’s always been having each and every night, driving her nearly crazy as she lived her life in fear.

“Do not stress yourself out, Fransesca,” Clayton told her. “Everything will be okay. Perhaps, it’s time for both of you to reunite and reconcile after years. Almost twenty years apart, I’m sure that your father misses you all these times.” he added.

“Should I feel this way or should I not? Honestly, it gives me anxiety already, love. I don’t know how to react to the news that I just found out from her. Papa… that man wasn’t a mere man. He's been the richest and most influential man in the whole country of Singapore for decades. I know how influential your family and you are, but I don’t know… can we really do something against him if something happens between me or my daughter, or even you and your family?”

“Perhaps, he just wanted to let you in once again, Fransesca. Perhaps, he just wanted to have you around once again after the things that happened between the two of you. Maybe, he realized that all the things that happened in the past were too childish for two grown-up men and women like you and him.” Clayton said as he held her hand tight. “This could be your one and only chance to turn things into a better one, between you and your papa. Do you really think that he could live the rest of his life alone, with no one by his side, only you, who’s drifted apart from him already? I don’t think so.” he smiled at her, convincing her that reuniting and reconciling with her father won’t be a bad idea.

Fransesca lowered her head as she stared at her legs swinging as she sat by the bed with Clayton by her side, trying to calm and convince her from the anxieties of fixing the long broken relationship between her and her father, Anderson Rhee. This was actually one of her dreams, to finally reunite and to let the past be the past but somehow, knowing how Anderson has always been to everyone including her, she doubted it.

“Nothing bad will happen, Fransesca. My dearest, sweetest, sweetheart. I promise you that everything will be well, fine, and okay. I will be there by your side if your father did something to you and our family. I promise to protect you from everything, even if it means that your father would be my enemy. My priorities will be my family, that includes you and our children. Okay?”

Clayton smiled at her as she kissed her on the cheek soon after. “Things will be better. Reconciliation is not a bad thing. It’s a step to a more peaceful life just like what you’ve always wanted to have all these years. I know that the past sixteen years were hard for you but I believe that it is finally bound to cease.” he explained his opinion and side to her.

“It’s about time to forgive each other and start a new chapter in life okay. Your life and your father’s life.”

Fransesca took a deep breath and sighed. “Help me, if I ever lost in the journey to a better and peaceful life I wanted to live in, love. I cannot do things by myself.” she asked him and clearly, Clayton nodded as he agreed to help her. “I will surely do so, my sweetheart. Everything, just for you.”

END OF ITS ABOUT TIME.

0 notes

sukirichi · 3 years

Text

black magic [02]

request. arranged marriage + enemies to lovers (sukuna is a simp and lowkey a housewife) + sukuna’s first time with his wife

cw. slight angst, insecurities, lots of making out, virginity loss, fingering, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasm, sukuna worships reader, spitting, cum eating, teasing! sukuna, face-off kamasutra position, soft dom! sukuna, unedited fic, pwp

song inspo. leave the door open (bruno mars)

note. i want a husband sukuna

part one | part two

Sukuna gently takes your palm into his, soft and warm lips meeting your bruised knuckles that have seen years of hard work in exorcising curses like him. Uncanny that he showed so much affection to his enemy by nature, treating you with such care and tenderness that shouldn’t have been so possible for an evil creature like him. You’re supposed to love it, be grateful for it, yet his sweet gestures only irritate you, even more so when he retires to bed just like that without even so much sparing a glance your way.

You’ve been married for a year now that you’ve had enough of his confusing gestures towards you. One moment, he was showering you with love, regarding you like you were the light of his life before he’s walking away the next moment and pretending you don’t exist.

He was so infuriating. He would kiss you and hold you, but never touch you or be in the same room with you any longer than an hour. Even in bed, he’s always making sure his back is turned to you, peeling your arms off of him each time you attempt to cuddle him on times it got too cold. It hurts and dwells dangerously at the back of your mind – it would’ve been better if he got angry at you and announced he despised you, but he never did – that his hot and cold nature bothered you more than anything else.

You’ve eventually had enough that you just stopped caring. Barging in during his bath time, your nostrils flare upon seeing your husband so relaxed in the tub. Even after a year of marriage, he’s so unaffected and unaware by your need for him.

He really doesn’t care.

“Little one,” Sukuna blinks as he sits up from the tub, strong arms hanging off the edges of the bed. You admit; he really was beautiful and a desirable man that you couldn’t help it, couldn’t help but crave the one thing you knew you weren’t supposed to have. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you not want me?” you suddenly demand, tears already streaming down your face faster than you would like. Hell, you never wanted to cry in the first place. “Am I not desirable enough for you?”

Sukuna chuckles nervously.

Oh, great, now he’s nervous around you?

“What are you going on about?”

“Don’t act like I don’t know what you’re doing,” you snap, “Every time we go to bed, you always put some distance between us and keep to your side of the bed. You push me away when I try to reach for you and you never touch me or kiss me on the lips. I-I understand this marriage was against your will, but I’m still your wife and I need you, okay?” chest tightening uncomfortably, you place a hand over your poor, aching heart that is further crippled when Sukuna’s face falls. “I just feel like...you’re sickened by me, like you cannot stand to be with me in the same room as me. It makes me feel like...it would’ve been better if I wasn’t here.”

You don’t know what kind of response you’re expecting from him after your outburst, but definitely not him standing up to loom over you. You respectfully avert your eyes from the sinful image of water dripping down his defined body, but it’s too late and he’s too close already that you won’t be surprised if he can hear your heartbeat pumping frantically.

He was large and imposing, truly a terrifying sight right before you especially with his tattoos that trail and wrap all around his muscular thighs, yet you’re not nervous because he could hurt you.

Rather, you’re agitated because he’s so close, so within reach that if you step a little closer, you could easily find the warmth you’ve been dreaming of for so long.

You’re frustrated because you want him though you shouldn’t.

Just then, Sukuna caresses your cheek and pulls the both of you back in the tub with you above him, and him lazily grinning above you. You gasp, abashed, that your clothes were soaked to the brim and it stuck close to your damp skin until it took the shape of your silhouette. Sukuna, on the other hand, is completely unbothered as he eyes your pebbled nipples poking through the thin material of your nightgown and simply drags you forward on his thighs.

“S-Sukuna—”

“You really have no idea, do you?” he whispers lowly, his long claws carefully tracing down the sides of your jaw. “My innocent, little lamb...the reason I distance myself from you is because every waking day that you are right beside me, my self-restraint thins, and I’m not sure I can hold back a little longer from you taming me,” Sukuna’s dark eyes brims with something unreadable as he holds your gaze. The look he wears is beyond intense that he takes your breath away, literally, and you’re left gaping at him silently. “I push you away because I want you more than anything else, but I respect you and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You-you want me?”

“Clearly, little one, you’re inherently unaware of how captivating you are,” Sukuna says as if if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and you shiver at his words – or from the cold water, you don’t really know. “Stop looking at me like you want me to kiss you. I may not stop once I get a taste of you. Like I said before – I won’t touch you unless you asked.”

You do remember him saying that from your first time together, but your head goes blank, and no words leave your lips even as you mouth nonsense.

Sukuna taps your lips. “Speak, little one. You need to use your big girl words.”

“Kiss me,” you vociferated in one breath, desperately clutching on your thighs. “Please.”

For a moment, you think he’s going to push you away as his eyes narrow into suspicion, but soon he’s tugging at your collar to bring you down for a heated kiss. Sukuna is tugging your robes down until your collarbones are exposed, his tongue and lips leaving yours to leave marks and love bites all over the patch of skin instead. You tug at his hair as you crane your neck to the side, succumbing to the undeniable pleasure his warmth and greediness consumes you with.

Grinding down on his groin, you notice he’s already hard. Hard for you, and this realization makes you kiss him back hungrily as you whimper above him.

Sukuna is feverishly sucking on your tongue and pawing at your breasts the next instant before the spell is immediately broken just as it happened. For before you could reciprocate the same amount of eagerness he kissed you with, Sukuna is already sliding you off of him until you’re on the other side of the tub, left staring at him wordlessly with his lips red and swollen.

“Not today, little one. I think that’s enough.”

You hear your heart shatter into pieces. Pride; it was about the only thing you had, but it seemed even that had been taken away from you.

“You really don’t want me.”

Your voice cracked as your eyes began to tear up.

“No, love, that’s not what I meant,” he groans into his hands, “Believe me, I’d spent enough nights sweaty and frustrated knowing I can’t ravish you and have those lush thighs around me already,” waiting for him to continue, Sukuna sighs and holds you closer, though he could only caress your knee right now that you’re wary of getting hurt again. “This is your first time, okay? I want to make it special for you – you’re not experiencing bliss with me if it happens impulsively with you barging in my bath.”

Something like hope lights up inside you.

“Y-you’ll really do that for me?”

“Tch, brat, don’t go all soft on me now. I wouldn’t suggest testing my patience even further,” he playfully flicks your forehead when you tried to kiss him again, but Sukuna is already tilting his cheek to other side before you could. You would’ve been heartbroken again that he’s refused you, but his words held more than reassurance – and so did his uncomfortably hard cock – that all previous insecurities vanished into thin air.

Sukuna grabs you by the waist to plant your feet on the ground outside the tub, carrying you as if you were nothing more than a ragdoll to him. “Now go and get changed. I’ll fuck you another time.”

“Don’t say it like that!”

“My deepest apologies, little one,” he commented sarcastically with a roll of his eyes, though his smile turned genuinely warm the last minute. “I’ll make love to you when you’re ready.”

He must’ve lied.

You’re annoyed because Sukuna is intentionally avoiding you and acting like you don’t exist. Pissed off, you go into a curse exorcising spree to get the King of Curses out of your mind, reminding yourself that he was vile like them and he didn’t deserve even a second of your time.

Although no matter how hard you tried, your mind still kept racing back to him even as you come back home, bloody and tired when you realize the temple is eerily quiet. Not a living soul could be found around, no servant fretted at your arrival and your husband most definitely did not lurk in the shadows like he usually did. The only sign the temple hadn’t been abandoned yet were the lines of candles trailing down the hall to your shared room with him, and you gasp as you see the petals decorating the bed and rose-scented candles lit everywhere.

Sukuna was nowhere to be seen.

But he was felt as he kisses your neck, his hands untying the knots of your yukata. You stiffen in reflex before relaxing as soon you recognize his scent. Behind you, Sukuna pauses, his lips still in the column of your neck.

“You’re upset.” He wasn’t asking; rather observing.

“Not anymore,” you mumble in response, although you weren’t entirely convinced even as you come closer to the bed, your husband trailing behind with his pinky looped to yours. “Did you do all this for me?”

“Yes. Do you like it?”

“I love it, thank you,” you hide your smile for him, not wanting him to see that it’s so easy to alleviate your anger to him. He has to earn your approval again, so you turn to him with a forced scowl and arms crossed against your chest. “But why were you ignoring me for days?”

You intended to look intimidating, but the King of Curses only laughed.

“You look cute when you’re mad. Plus, it made you want me more than you already do, didn’t it?” he chastised, the implications of his words making you pout in humiliation. Sukuna is quick to step closer to you, cupping your cheeks into his hand, and you hated how easily you leaned into his touch. Nevertheless, you turned away from him, using all your energy to muster your most serious ‘I’m not bothered’ face.

“Aw, don’t be shy, it’s written all over your face, little one,” he breathes on the shell of your ear, hands trailing down to lightly drape your clothes below your shoulders. Unable to hold it back, you end up shivering at his featherlike touches.

“It’s okay. I loved hearing your soft whimpers every time you touched yourself in the bath, thinking that I’m probably not around to hear, hm? You forget I sense everything,” his laugh is mocking yet laced with lust, “From the frantic singing of your heart, the way you tense up a little when I’m around, or the way those beautiful legs of yours clench together each time my robe is a little loosened,” Sukuna dips his nose right under your jaw where his tongue darts out to lick a flat stripe down your neck, and just like that, you’re breathlessly clutching on his white robes that are already unfastened. Damned tease.

“Even the smell of your arousal is enticing me to enrapture you right now, little one. I can practically hear the silent begging in that pretty little head of yours.”

You forgot how to breathe.

“B-but I’m dirty, I just finished exorcising curses.”

“Would it be comedic if I said I am aroused at the thought my wife could easily end me right here and now?” shaking your head at him, Sukuna smiles mysteriously. “But you won’t, would you? You need me too much for that,” he leans closer than he already was before, his lips just a breath away from yours. “Tell me, do you want me?”

“Yes,” you whispered breathily, “Please, Sukuna, touch me.”

“It’s my love to you.”

“Not Your Majesty?”

“Hmm, that is delightful to hear as well,” he says, “But let’s our drop our titles. For now, whatever happens between us is intimately between man and wife. Now go clean up, little one. I’ll be waiting for you once you’re ready.”

You waste no time into darting to the bath, scrubbing the blood and dirt on each nook and crevice of your body until you’re squeaky clean. You’re about to head back to bed when you quickly practice puckering your lips to make yourself look desirable, muttering hopefully flirty lines that would make your husband want you more before calling it quits from the embarrassment you caused upon yourself.

By the time you’ve completely dried and moisturized yourself to absolute perfection that you’re confident of yourself, you find Sukuna emptily staring into the ceilings. “Done already? Someone’s eager.”

You roll your eyes at him. Why did you like him again?

“Shut up and kiss me.”

“Gladly, little one,” he confides, patting his thighs to encourage you to climb onto him. Now that things were actually getting real and your endless dreams would soon become reality, your palms grow sweaty as you settle yourself onto his lap. “You tell me right away if I’m hurting you, you understand? One word and I’ll stop; though I doubt you’ll be in your right mind to want to stop once I’ve had my way with you.”

You don’t really understand much of what he’s saying anymore.

He’s kissing you so slowly, so passionately and you’re both undressing each other that nothing but desire and lust clouds your thoughts in that moment. You’re drunk on the sweet taste of him, his natural musky scent beyond intoxicating for your mortal self to handle. Too lost in the bliss of finally being intimate with him, you don’t realize Sukuna has already pushed your towel down until it pools at your waists. His sharp intake of breath is the only thing that pulls you back to reality as he greedily takes in each beautiful curve and dip of your body.

His stare is so fervid that you grow shy and cover yourself, where Sukuna quickly grips your wrist as a warning. “No. You do not hide yourself from me.”

“Then stop staring too much.”

“Is it a sin to appreciate divine beauty?” he tilts his head to the side and blinks at you innocently. “You are ethereal, my wife.”

Before you could be too flustered to respond, Sukuna fortunately saves you from the embarrassment by kissing you again, though it doesn’t last long before his mouth is trailing from your collarbone and down to your breasts. You mewl as Sukuna eagerly sucks on one breast, the other showered with attention from his rough, calloused palms. Meanwhile, you push his clothes away to expose his strong shoulders which you use as leverage because his ministrations make you feel like you’re losing control over your own body.

Rolling your hips on his erect cock, Sukuna groans through your skin, squeezing your breast hard enough that you can’t take it anymore right after he tweaks your nipple. “Love, please, I need you right now.”

“Patience, little one,” he reminds, “I need to prepare you well.”

“I’ve been waiting for months, Sukuna, I’m sure I’m more than ready.”

“Emotionally, sure, but physically?” he chuckles darkly, “Little one, do you not understand your nimble fingers cannot compare to my cock? I might hurt you if you’re not stretched out enough.”

“Then stop kissing me and start—” you’re cut off with a gasp, your nails sinking down harder into his skin the moment his fingers began to rub at your pussy. “Y-your claws—”

“I kept them for years, but I had to cut them just for you, little one. What do you have to say about that?”

“Thank you,” you offer with a breathy moan, head falling into his shoulder from the overwhelming yet welcomed intrusion. “Oh, Sukuna, it’s too good, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” he bites the shell of your ear and tugs at the lobe, basically biting it between his teeth to distract you from another long and thick digit pushing past your walls. “One more?”

“O-oh!” his thumb has now joined the party by rubbing soothing circles on your clit, effortlessly pulling your lips aside with the rest of his digits to expose your sensitive bundles of nerves for him. Sukuna keeps his eyes on yours the whole time, watching and drinking in the face you make – pleasure written all over your features from the swollen lips, pupils blown wide, and desire pooling in swirls of curiosity and eagerness. It’s a face he never wants to forget; a face he wants to see more of that Sukuna eventually lays you down against the pillows, admiring how unreal you looked in that moment.

Hair splayed all over the pillow, legs spread wide open with his hands caressing your core, and a strong arm gripping his with small gasps accompanied by desperate calls for his name to do more, please you more – your words instantly translate into commands.

“You are so beautiful,” Sukuna praises rather angrily, “Never forget that. Each inch of you, fuck, you are the most dangerous mortal, you know that?”

You don’t have time to react before he’s going down on you and spreads your legs apart, keeping them pinned down to the bed. The stretch hurts but he easily soothes your pain by massaging your inner thighs, crawling down to kiss your ankles, then licking all the way up to your knee where he stops for a second, only to happily be on your sopping cunt the next moment. He’s peppering barely there kisses to your inner thighs just on your outer lips, his breath warm and teasing on your heat.

It feels like he intends to ruin you tonight.

“Sukuna, stop teasing!”

“What do you want me to do, little one?” he grins from between your legs, the vibrations of his chuckles resonating deep within your cunt that sporadically clenches right in front of his face that’s shamelessly imprinting your scent deep into his memory. “How can I make you feel good?”

“You know how!”

“You need to tell me so I know. I can’t read your mind.”

“Your mouth...”

Sukuna’s smile grows wider the longer you struggle to find your words, but exactly how in the world could you say such vulgar things out loud? He is far more patient tonight than any other day, however, that Sukuna props himself to his elbows to peer up at you innocently. “Where do you want my mouth and what should I do with it?”

Swallowing the rest of your pride, you finally utter: “T-taste me...down there.”

“Here?” he prods your clit, pulling a high-pitched gasp from you. Your husband’s smirk is nothing short of condescending just before he finally kisses your clit, sucking the bud into his mouth until you writhe before him. It takes minimal effort for someone of his strength to hold your legs in place, his grip just tight enough to be commanding. The thought of being completely in his mercy made your head spin in circles, your chest heaving up and down from the pleasure he was blessing yet torturing you with. “You’re so responsive, little one. I’m honoured I’m the one who gets to make you feel like this.”

“M-more, please, I need more.”

You expect him to tease you further, but your husband must’ve noticed that you’re too edged and decided to have pity on you. He doesn’t waste another second before he’s wrapping his lips around your pussy, treating it as if it were your own lips that always tasted like honey.

Sukuna is completely immersed in the act of pleasuring you with his tongue only, so much so that he’s silent aside from the little hums he lets out while you moan for him.

Unable to care about being too loud anymore (not that you needed to since Sukuna had made everyone go back home to give you both privacy) you find yourself throwing your head back, legs falling open wider to grant him deeper access to your most sensitive parts. Sukuna continues to massage your inner thighs and even drags the back of your knee to rest on his muscular back littered with battle scars and tattoos, the dark markings on his skin flexing with each movement. His eyes are closed and his nose is grazing against your swollen clit that had reddened already, your pussy lips opening up like a new world he had to explore, and explore he would.

Your hands find solace in his hair the shade of gentle sunsets that were often shared in lazy kisses and subtle touches, nails dragging across his scalp just enough to make your husband hiss right between your legs. Something begins to tighten in your belly as you grind your clit onto his face, too absorbed in the mind-numbing sensation of his tongue now poking against your entrance and the past barrier slowly blooming open to welcome him.

With shaking legs and a chest drenched in sweat, pebbled nipples further stimulated by the cold breeze drifting in from the windows, your eyes snap open as that rope snapped deep within your belly.

Your gaze shoots down below you to watch your husband ardently lapping your juices like a man starved. Now this wasn’t new to you – you’ve heard enough about the King of Curses and his bloodlust. Whispers of his thirst and desire to slay entire towns and even feast on mortals’ souls was enough to keep you at bay when you were still a young sorcerer, for it was already a blatant warning that Sukuna would feed on anything and anyone, that his hunger was quite something that couldn’t be satiated.

But seeing him unhinged and a slave to pleasing you has never felt more erotic that you ride out your orgasm, toes curling and legs trembling every now and then from the aftershocks of your high.

Slowly, Sukuna darts out his tongue one last time just to leave a teasing touch to your clit before he’s crawling right above you again. The ceiling is obscured by his large frame hovering over you, arms trapped between your head and his gallant member poking just between your thighs. You end up shivering under him as your husband regards you – with affection, pride, curiosity – gentle in comparison to his true nature in caressing your cheek, both of you unbothered by the slick that meets your skin.

“Are you okay?” he breathes out, watching your fucked out smile bloom into a felicitous grin.

“Perfect,” you mumble, although rather shyly. You’d seen him naked before, but never hard, and never with the intention that soon you’d truly be connected – in heart, in body, in mind, and in soul. The thought makes your heart skip a beat, your eyelids growing hooded as Sukuna absentmindedly traces patterns on the curve of your hip. “Sukuna...you’re perfect.”

Your husband laughs, the sound of his glee contagious that you’re chuckling with him as well. “Have you seen yourself, little one? I think I fall for you harder each day.”

His sudden confession brings about a silence in the room, but it wasn’t comfortable, and neither was it tense. If anything, it destroys any traces of previous hesitation and pent up anger that’s only been formed in the first place due to the fact he was Curse and you a sorcerer.

The nature of your relationship had been paradoxical to begin with, perhaps even beastly, but nothing was beastly about it now as you wrap an arm around his neck to bring him closer to you. And Sukuna was just that – the man, the Curse, the feared King whose simple mention of his name made mere mortals tremble – the same person that somehow understands your silence better than anyone. No words were needed when he could read your mind and knew his way around your heart a little too much, not once leaving his lips on yours as he sits on the edge of the bed and pulls you before him. Both of your skins are hot and flushed, yet you’re greedily touching and pulling at one another, his large palms clawing at your ass to pry your pussy lips open while you drag your nails down his chest.

He grunts into your mouth; the sound deep and masculine that it vibrates all the way down to your core. You gasp into his mouth – your breath immediately swallowed by his tongue that dances with yours – once you feel him slip inside.

The stretch is unlike anything you’ve felt before.

You’ve fought and exorcised countless of curses that pain was no stranger to you at this point, but never had you felt so...alien to a sensation both tragic and addicting. Pulling away to breathe air back into your lungs, your forehead knocks with Sukuna until your noses are brushing against the others, mouth hanging open as your walls struggle to accommodate him.

“Oh, oh god,” you mewl above him, eyes wide open as you witness each inch of his cock disappearing from the motion of you swallowing his length whole. He was big; terrifyingly so, and you shake with fear that you wouldn’t be able to take him or that he might rip you apart. “Su-Sukuna—”

“You’re fine,” he reassures by pulling your cheeks back to him, your delicate face trapped between his rough hands. Although his eyes are dark with lust, there’s a tenderness behind them that placates you. “You can tell me to stop if it hurts. Do you want me to stop?”

“No.”

There’s no lie or hesitation behind your voice. Sukuna watches your face carefully to detect any sign of discomfort, but you want this, want him, and the pleasure combined with the tolerable sting only makes you desire him even more. The mere fact that there had to be pain and sacrifice, that you had to place your whole trust in him before you could truly succumb to the pleasure and love that created light and hope in this world was enough for you to want to keep going.

“I’m okay,” you tell him, and Sukuna wipes away the frown on your face with the pads of his fingers.

He allows you to go at your own pace until you’re completely seated on his cock, the heated member throbbing so hard inside you that you think he’s poking and prodding right deep into a place where you could hold him close the most.

It’s too much and too good that for once, you let your walls crash down as you bury yourself in his shoulder. Sukuna holds you closer by pulling you right into his chest, large arms wrapped around your frame while your breasts tease the rugged and taut muscles of his body. Even the slightest movement of you adjusting yourself on his lap makes his cock graze against your bumpy walls that you’re both moaning left and right. As you struggle to make sense of the sensations bursting within you, Sukuna’s self restraint hangs dangerously by a piece of thread. You can tell by how he’s cupping your ass and lifting your body up effortlessly before he slides you back down on his thick pole, that single, simple gesture repeated over and over again along with him bringing his hips back up to meet your warmth sending a scorching heat all over your body.

“Love, that’s, fuck,” you curse incoherently, and upon hearing a profanity leave your otherwise innocent lips makes something snap inside your husband.

Sukuna is gripping onto your hips for dear life as he bounces you up and down on his cock, tilting his head back just to scrutinize your connected bodies. A thick ring of white cream surrounds the base of his cock until it slides down on his veiny cock, sounds of skin slapping against skin and the loud squelching of your pussy even more beautiful than the screams mortals have moments right before their death in his hands. But Sukuna be damned – you felt too good that this might as well have been his death.

“You feel so fucking good,” he praises through gritted teeth, easily manhandling you and throwing you back on the bed where he’s on you in a second. “Look at you, little one, taking my huge cock so well. It’s like you’re made just for me – you want to be with me, don’t you? I would please you, fuck you good every day, yes, fuck!”

Sukuna ended up hitting a spot that equated to uncharted territory, causing you to tighten around him with a sharp cry. “Oh, right there, right there!” you rub your clit for further stimulation, moaning louder when he hoists both your legs on his chest.

He presses your legs and hugs his around his arms, flipping it to the side until your feet are right beside his ears. Sukuna has gone completely feral – his pace and drive animalistic, growling like a predator consuming his prey before he softens, kissing your ankles just as he grips your legs to make them squish together. The sudden lack of space makes your pussy tighter and more sensitive for him that you’re fisting the sheets right beside you, too fucked out to even form a coherent sentence. You’re babbling mindlessly on how good he’s making you feel, completely limp and motionless under him from how deep he’s hitting.

“Please, please, please—” you cry out, reaching out just seconds away from your orgasm with the need to touch him. Sukuna gives in and lets go of your legs until they fall at your side, stretching you out further from when he leans forward to capture your lips in a kiss.

He’s caressing your cheeks and swipes a thumb over your tears, quite nearly folding your half. His balls are slapping against your ass the harder he thrusts inside you, but his hips are stuttering and he’s panting right beside your ear that you can tell he’s close. It prompts you to wiggle under him to wrap your legs around his waist, bringing him closer and clutching his scalp just to have him impossibly close, because even thinking about letting him go sounds too painful, especially now that he’s claimed you as his just as you’ve marked him yours.

“I worship you,” he blurts out with a few final thrusts that has you crumbling under him in a silent scream, your focus completely on his dark, passionate eyes as you came. Sukuna then laces his fingers through yours while he pumps himself inside you, your walls milking him of everything he’s got. “You are divine, my wife, you have bewitched me for eternity.”

“Sukuna,” you call out weakly, and he’s quick to litter kisses all over your face from your whimpers. “Sukuna-I-I—”

“Shh, I know, I know,” Sukuna places a finger on your lips, letting you calm down from that earth shattering orgasm he just gave you. He pulls his spent dick out a minute later and scoops up your cum that’s spilling out from your pussy lips, his gaze never leaving yours the whole while he sucks his fingers inside his mouth. He’s so dirty and erotic that you’re clenching around nothing once more, but he shakes his head with a low chuckle as if he can sense you want more. Sukuna kisses you just to transfer the cum mixed with spit right onto your tongue, gripping your jaw when your eyes widen at him. “Swallow it, little one. That’s just a taste of what I could give to you.”

You don’t know what pulled you to actually swallow it – it tastes bitter and even a little salty, though it had a bittersweet tinge of scent to it that you don’t mind, especially not when Sukuna just stares at you like you’re most his prized possession.

Sukuna is right by your side the next moment. He’s tamed the next moment, pure comfort and bliss from the way he’s tenderly running his fingers up and down the sides of your body like he’s memorizing the feel of you around him. You both don’t say anything as you place your cheek right above his chest, arms locked on his chest in a desperate cling, but neither does he want you to let go. Sukuna threads his fingers on your hair before you feel his lips caress the crown of your head, mumbling sweet nothings right as you’re welcoming sleep.

Until he taps your breast.

“Little one?”

“Yes?”

“We never had our honeymoon, do we?” he queries, and you twist your head to face him as your brows draw together in thought.

“No, I don’t think we did. I pushed you away from me on our first night together, remember?”

Sukuna’s eyes shone with mischief. “How could I forget? You tried to kill me right after our wedding,” both of you share a laugh at the memory, though there were no more harsh feelings or contempt shared, only love, and love only. Sukuna softens under your gaze as your chuckles tinker down to a giggle, your finger teasingly drawing circles on his chest as you bite your lip. And like always, Sukuna knows you just a little too well. “I know that look. What is it that you want, little one?”

“You.”

“Me?” he repeats with a dark chuckle that sends heat right down to your womanhood. “You already have me, little one, your wish has been granted a long time ago.”

Your face burns. “I mean, I want you. Again. One more.”

“One more?”

“Or maybe a lot more,” you pipe up, but Sukuna’s smirk is growing more and more devious that your former tenacity soon dwindles down into meekness. “O-only if you want to. You must be tired.”

“Little one, I’m the King of Curses, did you really think I would be tired from fucking my sweet little wife?” At his words, Sukuna tilts your chin until you’re left with no choice but to be held captive under his lust. He leans down to teasingly bite your bottom lip, and you’re already breathing hard as you feel his hands begin to trail down to your core that’s more than eager to take him all over again. “Like I said, I worship you, and I’m nothing but a bewitched man who would gladly fuck his wife as long as she asks.”

Safe to say, you couldn’t exorcise curses for quite some time.

4K notes · View notes

d3nt4l-d4m4g3 · 3 years

Text

A few days ago, I emailed my former professor about a paper on women’s food practices in the middle ages. At least, that’s what I told him it was about, initially.

But actually, I wanted to discuss heresy. This professor teaches a women’s rights course every year. Every year at the beginning of the class, he calls attention to why he, a man, is talking about women’s rights. He looks us in the eyes and says, no one else is doing it, and I’m sorry it’s me.

This man made us read the SCUM manifesto, Gerda Lerner, Maria Mies. He grazed the subject of the Lesbian Sex Wars, delicately, so gingerly, posing the question: “Can sex work ever be just work?” And my (all woman) classmates, generally mute—in a Women’s Rights class, they all seemed averse to saying the word “woman,” at all. Then one woman raised her hand. and she said, “Sex work is real work.” A statement that, as I hope you know, is a deflection and a discussion killer.

At the time I was non-binary. Hah. I submitted a comic at the end of the year of my final project. My thesis for that project was this: the very language female people have to use for themselves was constructed by the patriarchy. for example, the english word “vagina” comes from the latin word for “sheath”. so the vagina invokes the act of penetration upon its utterance. Whereas the word “penis” has no clear etymological root, implying that it is original while the vagina is constructed for him. Why should I carry the fact that I will always be a tool, the hole, of the human that is man? My solution, at the end of the comic, was to continue using they/them pronouns, to shield myself from the horror of being a wo-man, a s-he—an appendage of Him.

I got a good grade. A stellar report. And it wasn’t a bad comic, for what I knew then. For my condition of blindness and deafness. I made a compelling argument, using sources from class. But oh, how much older I feel now. I’ve always felt old but now I feel almost like I’m dying. Like I don’t have enough time to fix the world before I disappear. And women’s stories never survive. They are not surviving. networks spring up like mycelium and then every century at least they are burned. Witchcraft is in the air shared by women in a room of their own, and witchcraft is doused in gasoline.

I don’t have enough time to explain how the veil lifted for me. Maybe I forget the big moment. the days after were a blur of searching the no-no tags like radical feminist, GNC, gender critical. Amazed at the wealth of journals that these women linked to with real statistics showing that children are being sterilized for no reason. Mostly gay children. like me, a lesbian, who now lives in a house with three “non-binary afabs”. This summer, one of these women, who I have known since freshman year, will start taking testosterone, a procedure I took up for three turbulent months during my freshman year of college. I get to watch her become what I turned away from, knowing the experience fractured my sense of self to a point of terror and estrangement. I get to watch her hide from her problems and cut herself off from womanhood the way I did for 3 years. I am not a woman, so do I not feel Woman’s pain, she is telling me, I told myself, when I was in a dream. She has so many problems, she laughs. But trans is a separate problem that has nothing to do with those other problems. A coincidence.

(For any trans people reading this, you may think: This transtrender fake-trans never-was-trans woman is treating these nonbinary people as if they were dead! as if they weren’t happy people finally living their truth! —well. I put my mom through the process of trying to convince her that I should have always been a man. and I did lose her, for months. For her it was the height of cognitive dissonance that I should want to go on a life-altering hormone to cure my lifelong social awkwardness and self-hatred and self-harm and depression. And I blamed her for not accepting my real self. I was basically made to shun her and my family because of transphobia.. It is disrespectful to anyone’s sanity and integrity for me to perpetuate that cognitive dissonance in this post.)

So I eventually got through to the professor. I knew because of the texts he had us to read for class. He is gay. He has read all the theory, and lives by it. And no (woman) student wants to speak to him. To bring the theory alive. They cannot breathe into it and it sits dead in his mouth.

Maybe it is because he is a man. because the presence of one man in a space of all women immediately sends up alerts. lockdown. Certainly that is the case. Radical Feminists here: I know he’s a man. But I don’t have a woman. And I felt on the strength of the texts he’d given us that he would be my best bet. Maybe somewhere in the corrupted, rotting heart of my college there was a person who knew about thoughtcrimes and was thinking them anyway.

My professor starts with diversion. He starts by talking about my paper. I find it disconcerting that he starts that way. I worry that he won’t want to refer to my email. Where I say: I have woken up from a dream to the apocalypse—Does this man think I’m crazy? Chipper and kind of frantically, he lists off primary sources of medieval nuns and women saints. for my paper. Does this man think I’ve turned into a bigot? Am I confessing lunacy, like a flat-earther?

But I steer the conversation to the meat at his first tentative encouragement. I tell him something like: “children, mostly gay children, a whole generation of gay children, are being sterilized. Porn is a symptom of late-stage capitalism—men’s ownership of women’s bodies. trans is an extension of this. I was part of this. I was in a cult.” I was shaking a bit. I don’t think I’d uttered those words out loud. They sound crazy. Some of the things I said did sound far-fetched. disorganized, remote. But I prayed that my professor would believe some of it, any of it.

What I will say is that he believes me. Thank fuck, right?

He tells me something along the lines of this, vocalizing my fears:

that all of academia is being scrubbed of anything that doesn’t support Trans.

And it is trans-identified female students and women who are reporting him to Title IX, who spend all their time in his classes fuming at the lack of validation for trans women in the history of women. My sisters, footsoldiers for the cause. What cruel irony. This man is holding onto this class by his fingernails, speaking through his teeth, hoping any of the twenty young adult women staring blankly or angrily at him will hear him and listen.

Looking back, the professor’s responses to my emails are vague, completely refusing to acknowledge a point of view other than “WOW. I look forward to discussing this.” I think he thinks he could be blackmailed. Anything he says on gmail dot com can and would be used against him. It’s like, really, really, really that bad.

No ideology should involve a cultural cleaning of women’s history feat. witch hunts.

I will end here with an excerpt from my first email to this professor:

I'm sure you know what a total bummer it is to realize this.

#detransition #tra #gender critical #radical feminism #radfem #radblr #feminism #academia

4K notes · View notes

rrazor · 3 years

Text

hq boys post wisdom teeth extraction

tags: fluff, soft boyfies lol

kuroo tetsurou wakes up and immediately the first thing he tells the professionals around him is that he wants to see his girlfriend because he knows you’re waiting for him and “i love her so much 🥺🥰" he says it a few more times and everyone laughs at how doped up he is both from the drugs and you. when you walk in to take notes on how to take care of him afterwards, he just stares at you as he holds you hand with the SOFTEST LOOK on his face like 🥺😍☺️❤️💕💖💝🥺🥰💖💝☺️

tetsu cannot stop looking at you and u almost have to plead with him to watch where’s he walking like tetsu pls we don’t wanna have to come back to get your front teeth done sweetie 🅱️lease!!!!!! other than that he is pretty easy to reason with it as long as you promise to kiss every part of his face once in a particular order and if u mess up, unfortunately, you’ll just have to start over again sigh it makes his heart go 💥💥💥

bokuto kuroo offers to drive him back home and brings you along to support and comfort him. he helps kou get into the back with you but he refuses and goes “kuroooooo, she’s too pretty, I dun wanna sit next to her ☹️” LMFAO kuroo rolls his eyes and just sits him down and buckles him in despite his protests HA

kou is super nervous and keeps looking over you when he thinks you aren’t looking like 🥺😊 and you decide to play along and ask him how he’s feeling and if he’s in pain and he shakes his head and goes “‘m okay, you’re really pretty though 🥺😍” kuroo snorts in the front seat and you’re trying rlly hard to not laugh at how cute he is so you take his hand and kou lit rally thinks he’s gonna pass out when you call him handsome and ask him out before kissing his cheek. he starts crying as he says things like “kuroo!!!! the pretty girl is my girlfriend now!! 🥺❤️😭💖💕😭😭🥳”

akaashi you’re already by his side by the time he wakes up but he doesn’t remember jack so he goes “hello, have u seen my girlfriend? she looks just like you. can u tell me if u see her? I would like to see her—she’s my everything 😊🥰” UGGHH KISS HIIMMM

he doesn’t remember who you are until the medication wears off but you manage to convince him that you’re gonna take him to his girlfriend so you can take him home 💀 and he spends the whole car ride really pretty quiet until you ask him why he’s so fidgety and then he softly tells you “i… can’t wait to see my girlfriend 🥺🥰💕 she said we’d go on an ice-cream date after🍦i hope she’s not mad that it’s been so long 🥺❤️💗” AHDHJANAA like a little happy babyyyy 🥺😭

oikawa tooru’s procedure finishes earlier than expected and has a dental hygienist watching over him as they wait for you and for some reason he starts to sing, but it’s really out of tune because of all the cotton in his mouth and the dental hygienist is just standing there, taking it. you can hear him down the hall as you walk into his room and he’s so excited to see you!!! “did you hear me sing for you, babe? i didn’t want you to get lost in this maze 🥺🥰” “yes, i did, tooru, tysm you don’t have to sing anymore 😊😇💕”

tries to pull you into his lap as the dentist goes through the aftercare procedures and whines “pleasssseeeee, it huuurrrrrttttts i just want cuddddlllleesssss 😭☹️🥺💕” you opt to sit on the edge of the chair as he buries his head in your back 🥰

iwaizumi YOU try to flirt with hajime because he doesn’t remember that you’re his girlfriend and he’s all like stop!!! i have a girlfriend! 😡 AHAHA so you decide to ask him about his lovely girlfriend and he gets the softest smile on his face omggg and he starts going on about how hardworking you are ❤️, determined 💘, beautiful 💖, how nice you smell 😳

when you tell him its you he doesn’t believe you!!! like stop u r trying too hard, stranger!!! 😠 It’s not until you bring up a photo of yourselves and stick it next to your face does he go all soft again like babe i missed you 🥺 there was this weirdo trying to flirt with me, i’m so glad you’re here 🥰 and you tell him that the weirdo was you and he’s like “no, you’re better than that” LMFAAOO THANKS HAJIME 😭

matsukawa his mom is there to pick the two of you up and he’s holding your hand as he turns to you, super concerned and goes “babe, we forgot my teeth 😞” HWJJCKWJSJEF 💀 he’s all pouty and its sooooooo cute LMFAO WHAT DID HE THINK A REMOVAL WAS??? but you play it cool and squeeze his hand and say “i didnt forget you though 😊” he nods like a little kid and says “yeah” and tries to pull you into his lap so that you can cuddle but his mom is right there and you’re tryna be a good passenger and stop him from unbuckling your seatbelt: issei, we can cuddle when we get home!!!!

this giant dude just looks at you all 🥺 and BEGS like “babe please, just a little, i just want to hold you 🥺💕” he tries to guilt trip you like “c’mon, babe, you forgot my teeth” 😭😭😭 STFU u somehow make it back to his place and he tackles you into the couch and promptly falls asleep in 2 minutes flat 😴 his mom thinks its hilarious and thanks u for taking care of him ☺️❤️

hanamaki straight up asks you if you have a boyfriend. you say yes and he gets REALLY SAD OH MY GOD and is all “oh ☹️🥺” but then you cup his cheek and hold one of his hands and start telling him what your boyfriend looks like and how he has cute strawberry hair and pretty eyes and how handsome he is and talking about his cute little eyebrows and how good he is at volleyball and takahiro is like…. 🧐🤨 is that…… me??? but then he’s like wait it couldn’t be and gets all sad again 😭

you can’t take how sad he is and tell him it’s him!!!!! you give him some kisses as an apology 😭🥺💖❤️ and he’s all really?!!? 🥰💖💕💝🥳💕as he pulls you close to rest his head on your chest. he asks you to talk about how much you love him again 😭🥰🥺 refuses to remove himself from you

kyoutani he’s got this super angry expression on his face and everyone stays a good ways away from him 😬 when you come in, you get the same 😡 but then he chills because you’re wearing that one dress he went out of his way to buy for you when you were window shopping together that one time and he’s like …..suspicious why is she wearing her dress 😒 HAJFKAKSW KENTAROU

but THEN he sees the bracelet he got you for your one year anniversary and takes a whiff of you (um 😷) and NOW he’s all WAIT…… connections r being made—he gets super handsy 😳💕 really likes it when you kiss his forehead 🥺 and glares daggers at the dentist with his head on your chest, arms around your waist as you stand next to him and listen to what the aftercare instructions are because he’s all like grrr my girlfriend!! no touch!!! 😡🤬

daichi omg daichi is SO SHY and BASHFUL like he looks at you all 🥺🥰 and when you look towards him he immediately looks away but it’s so obvious because his ears are red and you can see his blush high on his cheekbones 😭🥺💕 you ask him what’s wrong and he’s stuttering trying to ask if you have a boyfriend and you’re like yes 💔

his face FALLS and it hurts but then you show him your matching engagement rings 💍 like “we’re fiancés, dai 🥰❤️” and he almost cries as hard as when he heard you say yes 😭💖💕 he’s so EMBARRASSED when you show the video back to him 😭 suga and asahi clown him 🤧

sugawara fella wakes up, looks you in the eye and is like “they’ve rebuilt me, babe✨” what? “the technology!!!” ??? “they made me better than i was before: better, stronger, faster 🤖💪🧠" LMFAO thinks he underwent some experiment like no we just fixed your teeth 😌

when you tell him so he gets a little dejected and asks you if you’d still love him without any upgrades with his lips pursed and his cheeks pink as he plays with your hands 🥺💗 like OFC KOUSHI!!! 🥰🥺❤️ really sweet and giggly on the bus ride home—holds you close and draws circles on your skin as he talks about the strangest things 🙈💖

kageyama no inhibitions so tobio is very attached to you!!! when he wakes up to see you next to him, he grabs you in his half-asleep state to leave slobbery kisses all over you like some dog before he falls back asleep again 💀 he wakes up twenty minutes later to see that you’re gone (had to wash off his spit 😬) and he panics when he doesn’t see you 😭🥺

he gets up to try to look for you and the second you come back, he hugs you and is all ☹️ telling you “don’t go too far, i wanna always be able to find you 😠🥺” you rub his back and pinky promise to stay close by and he’s so relieved he falls asleep standing 😴💕 like …..thanks 🤧 asks if he can play volleyball and pouts rlly hard when the dentist says no 😭💔

atsumu atsumu is loopy af and he wanted to go to the washroom so the poor staff had to hull around this 6’2”, 80kg man around but then you walk in just as they’re about to turn the corner and the moment he sees you, he’s goes “BABIEEEEE, I loOoove yoU! 😍” in this super adorable, high pitched sing-songy voice and makes OBNOXIOUS kissy faces at you but it looks so funny because his mouth is full of cotton 😭😭🤧🥴 the nurses tell you he’s a keeper but then he promptly slips and nearly falls on his face trying to walk over to you unassisted 🙄

the walk to the car is SO HARD because he clings to you like a baby koala and whines when you try to get him to loosen up so that you can get better leverage to support his weight like atsumu pls we’re almost there, just let go for a bit and he’s all puppy eyed like “don’t 🥺 ya 🥺 love 🥺 me 🥺 baby???????? i jus’ wanna be close to ya 💔💔💔” JAJCJJWNCMS he denies all of it when he sobers up

osamu all this fool remembers is that he has a girlfriend and that she looks EXACTLY like you but his brain synapses aren’t working like they used to 😔 so he doesn’t remember that YOU are literally his girlfriend so he just sits there and goes all “you look so much like her….. i miss her sm 😢🤕😞” with this faraway look in his eyes AS IF YOU WERE DEAD 💀 THE DISRESPECT

he rlly wants to hold your hand and touch you but like u aren’t his girlfriend right??? but you tell him u are after rolling ur eyes and show him some photos of the two of you as proof and he’s all “oh!” 😳 and he smiles so broad you can see his little dimple on his left cheek 😭💖 because he can FINALLY hold your hand 🥰 no filter so he whisper-begs for kisses throughout the entire time the dentist talks you through his surgery and how to care for him and you’re so embarrassed JAJCJKAKDSS “pls, pls can i have a kiss” you give him one “can i have one here now” “what about here” “pls another one pls” 🥺🥺🥺 at least he’s polite JAJCNKAFB

suna rin remembers you and right when he wakes up to see you next to him he says, “hello, wife 💖" and waits for your response but like wtf do u SAY like you’ve only ever heard him tell you he loves you that ONE time he thought u were ASLEEP!!! and you haven’t even talked about anything beyond dating yet!!! is it the anaesthetic that’s making him say this or is he just fooling you??? 💀😵 a few minutes later, he sighs and goes “you’re supposed to say ‘hello, husband ❤️’….” 🙄🥱

show him the video after the anaesthetic wears off and he’ll sit there looking at you like “….well? i’m still waiting? 😐” ugH modern romance am i right HAHDJKAKSKAA

ushijima wakatoshi thinks you’re another nurse even though you’re dressed nothing like them and he asks you when his girlfriend is coming and if she knows he’s done with the procedure and also “have you met my girlfriend? she is very beautiful and very kind. you must meet her ☺️” he asks the same questions to the dentist who comes in to talk to you afterwards and they’re looking at him like ?????? “isn’t this your girlfriend, ushijima-san?”

wakatoshi just goes 😯, looks at you and says your name so softly and in the sweetest way possible and tells you he missed you and he loves you and he wants to go get curry from that one restaurant later and the dentist tells you they’ll be back later as you sob 😭😭❤️💕❤️😭💖

semi eita thinks you’re one of the office receptionists when you walk in and asks you if you, his girlfriend 💕, had been notified that the procedure was done and you’re all uh yes she does, she’s coming soon!! he nods very cutely and thanks you, handsome smile on his face at the thought of seeing you 🥰 he turns around to look at the window and you just stand there all 😶 he HUMS softly as he waits and it’s that one song he played for you on his guitar HAJXNJSW 😭🥺💘❤️

he turns back around thirty seconds later like “babe?? is that you?? you got here so fast 😍🥺💖😚” as if it wasn’t you THE WHOLE TIME 💀 melts when you kiss his cheeks tenderly 🥰 plays with your fingers as he softly looks into your eyes!! 😍

tendou really wants to get his wisdom teeth back like just because you pulled them out doesn’t make them yours, sensei 🙄 LMFAO the dentist gives him his teeth afterwards and he holds them out for you and you’re like “tysm for your bloody, gross teeth, satori 🥰😬” “AWWW you’re welcome 😊 aren’t they cute? ya think our kids will be this cute? 💖”

many thoughts: 1) oh god oh GOD he wants to have KIDS WITH YOU!! MARRIAGE??!? 😵❤️ 2) y does he think his molars r cute and y does he hope your kids will look like nasty teeth 😭💀 he’s rlly adamant about you lazing around with him. keeps showing u his teeth for some reason but gives the cutest smiles and hums when you feed him his fav chocolate ice cream 💗💗💗

goshiki he tries to flirt with you but its so funny and endearingly awkward because he’s got all the gauze in his mouth and he isn’t that good at it and he’s on the verge of tears half the time and you dont know why??? you ask him and his brows are all furrowed, pout on his lips and says “just wanna be your boyfriend pls 🥺💕” “yeah?” “yeah,” he nods. “i promise to do my best 🥺”

when you tell him you’re already dating, he starts to cry and is all like i have to tell all my friends 😭 tsutomu cries to the dentist like “sensei, y’know, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend 😭❤️” he quiets down when you brush through his hair with your hands ☺️

terushima you walk into his room after he’s done and ask the dental hygienists how he’s doing and he looks at you all confused like 🤨 and asks the hygienists who you are. they think you’re married for some reason and say “that’s your wife!” and you’re so EMBARRASSED but also super happy on the inside HAHA he straight up goes “DAAAMMNNN, I did alright, huh?! when we bustin’ outta here?!” 🤪😜🥴😘 as if he could actually differentiate between left and right, up and down 😔

just in case, he asks you if you’re his wife at the same time the dentist asks if the two of you will be okay from here on out and you nod to the dentist’s question but yuuji thinks it’s for him so he lays back down with this satisfied look on his face like HELL YEAH alright, alright, alright 😌🥰🥴 and does those little nods SIDJAJJDJSJFJR HAHAHAHA

sakusa omi lets you play with his bangs and hands as you wait for the dentist and he LOVES IT softest smile on his face!! RIDICULOUSLY CLINGY!!!! he does NOT want you to leave him at all, will not let you go to the bathroom even though you’re like “omi, please, the dentist is busy with another patient right now, i’ll be back soon before we go through the aftercare stuff” “no” “omi, i have to pee” “do it here” and now it’s you who’s all 🤢

gets really defensive and protective when the dentist comes in and just shoves his head in your chest because he doesn’t want to look at them LMFAO death grip around your waist 🤧 when you show him what he said about you going to the bathroom he demands you delete it “omi, i didn’t know u loved me that much 🥰🥺💕” “…………..🤐”

hoshiumi kourai insisted he was fine on his own “nothing is impossible for hoshiumi kourai, national athlete 😤” when the dentist asked if he needed someone to watch over him and the dentist is 🤨 ok sir and leaves after he falls asleep. when he wakes up, no one’s in his room and he has to use the washroom and he’s like i’ll do just it myself 🙄 he tries to stand and promptly collapses to the floor. he CRAWLS around on his stomach and makes it out of his room just as you walk in and you’re like KOU whY are you on the FLOOR like a ROACH 😭😭😭

it’s like you’re reenacting some dramatic romance movie as kou groans around the gauze and makes poor attempts to stand up, holding onto you LAKDSHLASKAHD 💀💀💀 asks you to get on the floor with him because he honest to god can’t get UP so that he can cuddle with you as the dentist and his assistants stand two feet away 🥰💕 tries to fight the staff when they get too close to you trying to help him get back to his bed HAJJFKAKDMAD

extra: kita shinsuke (lol) when kita finishes his wisdom tooth extraction, he looks at you like this and doesnt remember who you are; he thinks you’re here for another patient and doesn’t say a word to you because his grandma taught him not to talk to strangers.

2K notes · View notes

wordsandupstead · 2 years

Text

Chapter 13 - Can you come get me?

A/n: I honestly cannot believe this fic is over already. Thank you to everyone who has read and commented along the way! Thank you for allowing me to post my first pd fic here. This chapter is jam packed full of hurt/comfort, protective!jay, hope you enjoy!

In this chapter … A phone call out of the blue leads to a desperate attempt to get Emma to safety.

Previous Chapter // Masterlist

With every day that passes, Jay feels more and more hopeless. A part of this feels like the first time he lost her all those years ago. Every time he returns home to his empty apartment he is reminded of her absence — her shoes still lying near the doorway, the half empty jar of peanut butter, a jacket slung over the back of the couch. Jay can’t bring himself to move her things or put the jar of peanut butter in the cupboard The only thing that gets him through each passing day is trusting that Emma knows what she’s doing. He has to believe Amy. He has to believe that Emma left on her own and if she wanted to come back, she would. At the end of the day, no matter how much it hurts, he hopes that Emma is happier wherever she is.

Jay’s apartment feels so empty without Emma there. Even though it had only been a few months with Emma, Jay can’t believe he ever lived alone. He hates coming home to an empty apartment, so he spends most late nights in the bullpen, trying to figure out where Emma is. If he’s not staying late in the bullpen, it’s only because Hailey convinces him to go over to her apartment. As the days pass, it doesn’t get any easier. It just gets longer and longer since he last saw Emma.

Jay is sitting under a mountain of paperwork, but he has no motivation to get any of it done. He’s tapping his pencil on the desk, wondering if he can think of an excuse to get out of bullpen for a little while when his cell phone rings. It’s an unknown number, but he answers it anyway. “Hello?”

There’s a beat of silence, and then a whispered, “Jay?”

His heart nearly stops at the sound. He recognizes her voice, and it’s a phone call he’s been waiting for for the last two weeks.

“Emma?” Jay snaps his fingers to get his teams attention, but he didn’t have to because they’re all already moving after hearing Emma’s name.

“Can you come get me?” He looks over to Ruzek who’s furiously staring at his computer screen, trying to locate her using the cell signal as quickly as possible.

“Yeah, yeah I’ll come get you.” Jay responds immediately, “Do you know where you are?”

“I’m at a house, but I don’t know where it is. I’m scared, Jay. I’m sorry for running away. I just want to come home. Please come get me.” She whispers the last part and sounds like she’s about to start crying.

“We’re coming as soon as we can. Are you safe? Are there guns or drugs in the house?” Jay forces himself to keep his voice calm and steady despite feeling anything but calm or steady.

“Yeah, both.” She responds. “I just want to come home.” Repeating the same sentence from earlier.

He sees Ruzek nod and scribble something down on the paper in front of him. The whole team is getting ready to move out. Jay stands from his chair. “I’m coming, Em. We’re coming right now.” He says, “Just hang on.”

“Okay,” She whispers and the line goes dead.

He pulls the phone away from his ear, and everyone starts talking at once, while jogging out of the bullpen. Jay doesn’t even know what is happening, but he finds himself in the passenger seat of Hailey’s Jeep as she speeds off toward the address Adam located.

Voight got a rush for a warrant due to Emma telling them there were drugs in the house. Beyond that, they have no information, but Jay doesn’t care. All he knows is that Emma called and asked for him to come get her and that’s exactly what he plans to do, no matter the cost.

They don’t know if she’s in danger, but they know she’s scared. They don’t know who else is there or if there were any crimes committed. They’re going in blind. He and Hailey walk up to the door, knocking, while the rest of the team goes around the back.

“Hi, we’re looking for Emma Drier.” Hailey says when the door is opened revealing a man who looks to be in his early twenties.

“Is she in trouble?” He questions squinting at the two cops.

“No, we just have a few questions we have to ask her.”

“She’s not here.”

Jay steps forward forcefully, “Move.”

“You can’t come in here.” He responds, not moving from the doorway.

“Yeah we can.” Hailey steps forward, pressing the piece of paper with the written warrant into his chest. He takes it.

“We have reason to believe a sixteen year old runaway is in this house.” Jay’s hand starts moving toward his weapon, and the man immediately takes a step back, holding his hands up.

“Whoa man, don’t shoot. It’s not a crime to run away.”

Jay brushes right past the man, who doesn’t try to stop him, and into the house. He quickly but carefully starts clearing each room. “Emma! Where are you? Emma!”

He’s throwing open doors, his gun held up, hoping he won’t have to use it. When he swings open the very last door, he sees movement, and his eyes focus on Emma, but less than a second later, he notices her being pulled backward by a man holding a gun up. Emma is stiff and terrified. “Jay!” She cries out. Her blue eyes wide and frantic.

Jay holds his gun steady, his eyes only traveling to Emma briefly before refocusing on the man. “Put the gun down, you don’t want to do this.” He says, his voice remaining steady.

“Let us leave. Let us walk out the door and don’t come after us or I’ll shoot her right now.” The man’s hands are shaking as he shouts at Jay.

“You shoot her, I shoot you and no one walks out.” Jay says, his voice remaining low and firm.

“Just let us walk out of here!” He yells, starting to become more and more desperate.

Jay feels the presence of Hailey behind him. He doesn’t have to look to know it’s her, and she’s got his back. There’s no sniper and there’s no time. They had no idea this would turn into a hostage situation, so they are not prepared for one.

He secures his gun back in the holster, knowing Hailey’s gun remains trained on the man. “You want to walk out, you want leverage so no one shoots you, take me.” Confusion crosses the man’s face briefly, so Jay continues, “Trade me for her. I’m telling you now, I’m not letting you walk out of here alive with her. But I’ll go with you, we’ll walk out of here together if you let me switch with her.”

Out of his peripheral vision, he can see Adam in the doorway too. Hailey’s gun is still trained on the man, and Jay pulls his gun back out of the holster, he takes the magazine out and drops it onto the ground. “Take me.” Jay sees the hesitation on the mans face. Taking a chance, he holds his hands up and takes a step closer. “Just let go of her. Take me. I’ll get you where you need to go. None of them are going to shoot me. We’ll walk out of here right now, all you have to do is let her go.”

He takes another step closer, his hands still up in the air, his voice still remaining steady. “Put the gun on me, that’s all you have to do, and we can get out of here, alive.” Jay hears Emma start crying, and he has to force himself not to look at her directly. As the gun moves from Emma toward Jay, Jay immediately reaches out, grabbing Emma and shoving his body between the gun and her.

Gunshots ring out, and Jay shields Emmas body with his own. He knows the man is on the ground without having to look, and he immediately shuffles Emma out of the room, making sure she doesn’t see anything.

He pauses briefly in the hallway, his hands still on Emma’s shoulders. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He questions, looking her up and down, checking for any visible or obvious injuries. There are tears streaming down her face, but she shakes her head. “Okay,” He looks around briefly, knowing his team is calling for an ambulance and dealing with the aftermath in the room. “Let’s go. Let’s get out of here.”

Emma doesn’t speak as Jay leads her out of the house and straight to his truck, opening the back door for her. He lets her climb in first and then sits next to her, closing the door behind them, leaving them alone in the truck.

He’s caught off guard when Emma immediately closes the distance between them to wrap her arms around him. He returns the hug, unconsciously sighing in relief, some of the tension leaving his body. “What happened, Emma?” He can’t help but ask. Her grip only tightens around him, and he falls silent. Whatever is happening outside of the truck will have to wait. Whatever happened in the days that she was gone will have to wait. He just needs to know that his sister is okay.

He doesn’t ask the question again, knowing Emma is in no state to be explaining everything to him, instead, he focuses on the present. “Does anything hurt?”

She shakes her head while her face is still buried against his shoulder. He pulls back, gently pushing her away from him because he needs to look at her. He needs to know she’s really okay and she isn’t hurt. He does another quick check, and doesn’t find anything immediately wrong with her.

“You’re okay?” He whispers a half statement and half question.

She nods, “I just want to go home.”

He nods. “I know.” But he also knows they’re now at a crime scene and he can’t just leave and take Emma home despite wanting to. The two of them remain in the back seat in silence and safety until Hailey taps on the truck door twice before opening it.

“Hey Emma, we’re so glad you’re okay.” Hailey says, and Emma whispers hello. Hailey says, “Is it alright if we head over to the district now?” Jay nods, and Hailey holds her hand out for the keys, “I’ll drive, you two can sit back here.”

Jay pulls his keys from his pocket and hands them over as Emma asks, “Why are we going to the district?”

“We just need to get your statement and then we can go home.” Jay explains.

“Okay,” She responds, still seeming to be in shock.

Hailey closes the back door and climbs into the drivers seat, adjusting the seat all the way forward before putting the car in drive and heading toward the district.

The three drive in mostly silence, with the radio playing softly. Jay can barely take his eyes off Emma, but her eyes are closed and she’s slumped against the side of the truck, so she doesn’t seem to mind his stare. Once they arrive at the 21st district, Jay leads Emma into the break room. “Are you hungry?” Hailey questions. Emma nods, plopping down on the couch. “I’ll grab some snacks from the vending machine, but we can get real food as soon as we’re done here.” Hailey disappears and only a few seconds later, Voight walks in.

“We’re all really glad to have you back, Emma.”

“I am too.” She says.

“I want to get you home as fast as possible, so if you follow me, we can get your statement done quickly.”

“Wait, why can’t she do it here?” Jay interrupts Voight because he had fully intended for them to take her statement in the break room, where she is already comfortable.

Voight’s eyes flick from Emma to Jay and back to Emma, then he calmly replies. “It’ll be better if it’s done in the interrogation room.”

“Why?”

Voight turns to Jay, “Because it’s best if you’re not in the room when we do it.”

Jay’s about to argue, but Voight puts his hand up, stopping the words before they leave his mouth. Emma stands, not seeing any problem, and follows Voight out of the room, Jay following close behind. Voight opens the door to the interrogation room, and Emma walks in first. Jay wants to follow although he knows Voight doesn’t want him in the room. With just a shake of his head, Voight stops Jay. Slipping into the viewing room next door, Jay flips on the speaker as he watches Voight take a seat across from Emma and ask her if she wants a drink. She looks nervous sitting across from Voight even though Jay knows Emma sees him as a grandfather figure and Voight has always treated her well. This is different.

Voight starts reassuring her, letting her know that she’s not in trouble, but they just want to know what happened. Hailey walks into the room after just a few seconds, depositing an armful of assorted snacks from the vending machine. She lingers, resting her hand on Emma’s shoulder and squeezing lightly, “We’re really glad you’re back.” Hailey says quietly before exchanging looks with Voight. Hailey walks out of the room and into the adjacent room.

Jay immediately wraps his arms around her and holds her tightly. “She’s okay,” Hailey reassures him. “She’s okay.”

“I just want to take her home.” Jay mumbles.

“I know.”

The two pull apart as Voight’s voice floats through the speaker. “We just need to hear from you about what happened right before we showed up and while we were there. Take your time,” Voight tells Emma, his voice soft.

Emma reaches for a package of four mini powdered donuts, opening it and taking one. She pops it in her mouth and chews slowly, looking from Voight to the mirror behind him. She knows Jay’s there even though she can’t see him.

“I shouldn’t have called.”

Voight shakes his head, “You did the right thing.”

“I was just scared and he wouldn’t let me leave.”

“Who wouldn’t let you leave?”

“Sam.”

“Okay, and what was Sam doing there?”

“Drugs. It wasn’t that bad at first, but we were there with his friends and it was getting worse and worse.”

“Was there anything else going on?” Voight questioned.

Emma nods, but stays silent. Voight lets the silence sit in the air until Emma finally speaks. “They were selling it.”

“Do you know what kind of drugs?”

She shrugs, “Pills, coke.”

“You said he wouldn’t let you leave. You tried to leave?”

Emma starts tearing up, and Jay practically growls from behind the mirror, “He’s supposed to be taking her statement, not fucking interrogating her.”

Hailey grabs onto Jay’s arm and gently squeezes. “He’s on her side, Jay.” She tries reminding him.

Emma takes a deep breath, wiping away a stray tear running down her cheek.

“I missed home. I missed Jay. I wanted to go back, but Sam said I couldn’t. He found out Jay was a cop and he got mad because he knew they were looking for me. I told him that I wouldn’t say anything about what they were doing there, but he —he was just mad.”

Voight nods, choosing not to push her anymore. “You’re doing great Emma, we’re almost done. Just tell me what happened when we got there?”

More tears start to fall from Emma’s eyes and Jay wants to run into the room, but Hailey blocks the door. “They’re almost done.” Hailey quietly but forcefully says. Jay turns back to the one way mirror.

“They heard that the cops were there. He got really mad and started yelling at me. He wanted us to leave out the back, but I wouldn’t go. When Jay ran in the room he pulled out his gun.” She pauses, tears falling. Hailey’s hand rests on Jay’s shoulder, a silent reminder not to interrupt despite how much he wants to.

“He said he would shoot me if they didn’t let us leave, but Jay—Jay said that he wanted to switch with me. Sam was scared too, so I think he was going to let us switch, but I don’t know what happened and Jay grabbed me and then we ran out.” She openly sobs, putting her hands up to cover her face. Voight turns around looking at the mirror, and that’s all Jay needs before he’s rushing into the room.

“It’s over,” Jay slides into the seat beside Emma and wraps his arms around her shoulders. She turns, sobbing into his chest, sobs of relief, sobs of fear, sobs of sadness. Jay rests his hand on the back of her head. Voight stands, leaving the room, and leaving the two of them alone. Jay remains seated, holding her close. He can’t believe that she’s finally back, that she wanted to come home.

When her sobs finally subside, she wipes her tears and looks at Jay, “Can we go home now? I’m hungry.”

Jay can’t help but smile and laugh in relief. “Let’s go.”

Hailey is waiting in the hallway, and Emma walks right into her waiting embrace. “Can we get pizza?” Emma asks.

Hailey smiles, throwing her arm around Emma’s shoulder as they begin walking out of the district. “We can get whatever you want.”

“Are you coming home with us?” Emma asks Hailey.

Jay knows Hailey fully intended to before Emma asked, but she hesitates now, “Uh if it’s okay with you?” Hailey asks, glancing between Emma and Jay.

Emma smiles, “Yeah, that’ll be nice.”

Despite having so many questions about what happened and how they found themselves in that situation, Jay doesn’t ask.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to wait long because almost as soon as they all sit down at the table, pulling slices of pizza from the box onto their plates, Emma blurts, “I’m sorry.” Jay pauses, looking up at her. “I’m sorry for running away.”

Jay had thought about this moment a million times since Emma first left, but he didn’t think it would feel like this. His heart still aches at the thought of her leaving. “Why did you leave?” He practically whispers. It hurts to ask, but he needs to know.

“I got scared.” She admits.

“Scared? Of what?”

“I thought you and Hailey were going to break up. And I saw you drinking in the middle of the night.” She admits.

Jay hears her, but it still doesn’t make sense until Hailey whispers in understanding, “You’re adoptive dad.” Emma nods, staring down at her pizza. Suddenly he remembers her file. He read it cover to cover probably too many times, just hoping for answers about where Emma could have gone. He can’t believe he didn’t draw the connection earlier. After her adoptive parents divorce, her dad would drink and he became abusive. Now it makes so much sense why Emma disappeared back into her room when she saw Jay drinking in the middle of the night. Now he understands why she was so worried about him and Hailey breaking up.

“I’m sorry.” Jay breathes out.

Emma’s eyes find his immediately, “No, I shouldn’t have run. I wanted to come back, but I thought you’d be mad. And then I couldn’t come back.”

“I’m not mad. I’m just glad you finally called. We’re glad you’re back.”

“I almost got you killed.” Tears fill her eyes.

Jay’s pizza is forgotten as he moves closer to her. “Hey, it’s okay. We’re safe. And I’m fine. You can’t get rid of me that easily,” Jay tries to joke, but she only cries harder, so he makes a mental note not to joke about it again, “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Emma’s cries eventually turn to sniffles and she starts eating her pizza. “Hey Em?” Jay asks after he finishes his first slice of pizza.

“Yeah?”

“You know that what happened with your adoptive dad isn’t going to happen with me, right?” She hesitates for a second, so Jay continues. “I promise. You’re safe with me and Hailey.”

“Always,” Hailey pipes in.

Emma nods now, and Jay knows that it’s going to take time for her to truly believe it, but he has no doubt that one day she will.

#Jay Halstead #Hailey Upton #Halstead Sister #unsteady #chicago pd #jay halstead fanfic #upstead #upstead fanfic #jay halstead fanfiction

78 notes · View notes

watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

Text

Failed, Faked, Fallen - Harry Styles

a/n: this story was a pain in the ass, not gonna lie and i really thought i would just end up deleting the whole thing but I MADE IT TO THE END YAY so now please take the time to read bc it literally made me want to jump off a cliff lol

special thanks to @pastequeharry for putting up with me throught the writing process, she is the reason i didn’t just delete the whole thing haha

pairing: Fratboy!Harry x Reader (fake dating AU)

word count: 16.6k

masterlist

Tonight has been in the making for ten years. Every fiber in your body is protesting against it, but you just can’t carry this massive secret around any longer. You need to tell your best friend that you are in love with him, have been since middle school when you first met him. It’s a scary thing to come clean about your feelings for someone, but you feel like it’s now or never.

Your friendship with Oliver has been always a little… blurry. You were just regular friends when he was dating someone, but whenever he was single, he seemed to seek comfort and intimacy with you. It always starts with him getting a little more touchy and cuddly with you, then comes the kissing and hugging, his hands wandering to places friends shouldn’t explore and you somehow always end up in a bed…

Then it would immediately change once he got himself a girlfriend and you figured he has just been confused about his feelings for you. It has to be that, right? These past few weeks the situation was the same. He broke up with this girl he was seeing all summer before you all came back to school and you think this is the perfect time to finally talk about what’s really going on between the two of you.

Your roommate, Sandra has helped you with your makeup for tonight’s frat party and now you are deciding on the dress. You want to look your best so when Oliver confesses his love for you tonight, you’ll look as dreamy and pretty as you always dreamed about.

“The black one is fucking mint,” Sandra points at the black bodycon dress lying on your bed. “I can give you my red leather jacket,” she offers, finishing up putting her hoop earrings in.

“The red jacket?” you eye her in surprise. Sandra loves that jacket more than her own life. The two of you have been sharing your clothes since you became roommates last year, but the jacket has been off limits always.

“I know how important tonight is for you. The occasion deserves the red jacket,” she chuckles, stepping to her wardrobe to get the jacket. It’s the most badass leather jacket you’ve ever seen, looks so perfect on Sandra every time she wears, you feel honored she is letting you take it for the day.

“Oliver won’t be able to keep his eyes off of you,” she smiles at you excited once you’re all dressed. The jacket looks amazing, pulls the look together perfectly, you can’t deny that.

Soon enough, the two of you leave the dorm and head in the way of Kappa Chi, that’s only a fifteen minute walk away from your dorm. They are having a party almost every other week, those boys would celebrate the stupidest shit just to fill their house up with people and booze as much as possible. You and Sandra have been attending their parties since first year, it’s always a great way to unwind after a tiring week at uni.

“When is he coming?” Sandra asks over the music once you two arrive and head to the kitchen for a drink.

“Um, he texted me ten minutes ago that he is about to leave soon. He’ll be here shortly,” you tell her and thank her when she hands you a beer in a red solo cup.

The house is packed, just like always. Most of the football players from school are member of Kappa Chi, so naturally, all girls want to be around when they are throwing a party. You could say they are the popular guys, but it’s not like in the movies. They are just some particularly handsome guys living together, attracting a lot of girls. They are not at all unreachable, you are kind of friends with a few of them as well even without being a sorority girl yourself.

Standing in the kitchen you get into a conversation with a few girls from your dorm, that’s when you see Harry Styles storm through the house, Naomi Saddler following behind him, seemingly very much in the middle of a fight he doesn’t want to take part in. You know Harry, but you couldn’t say you two are that close. You did a group project last year together and he is actually a really smart guy despite the gossips about him just being a dumb womanizer. He surely is a ladies’ favorite, but you wouldn’t say the description fits him. You haven’t actually seen him with more than three girls since freshman year, unlike some of his other teammates that hook up with a different girl every weekend. He and Naomi have been in this on-off relationship for a few months now, but you don’t know much about them. You don’t run in the same groups to know the details.

The two of them disappear upstairs and you are pulled out of your thoughts when someone asks you a question, so you forget about Harry and Naomi in a blink of an eye.

An hour passes and still no sign of Oliver and you start to feel anxious. You shoot him a text, struggling a little with the typing thanks to the alcohol you’ve been consuming to keep your cool. Surprisingly, he answers right away.

Oliver: Be there in 3. Meet me outside?

Y/N: Sure!

“Alright, wish me luck,” you tell Sandra as you fill your cup again and head outside.

Kappa Chi has a nice backyard with a decent sized pool, some beerpong tables and lots of lounge chairs. You walk past the beerpong games, paying no attention to them at all as you go for an empty lounge chair. You sit down, fix your dress nervously and wait while you try to think through what you’ll tell him.

You can’t believe you are finally telling him how you are feeling. Your teenager self would be peeing herself is she knew what you are planning to do now. All those years of pining and crying whenever Oliver had a girlfriend in the past, now is your chance to finally be that girl and you’re actually quite convinced he’ll say he feels the same way about you.

Fidgeting with one of the zippers on Sandra’s jacket, you nervously wait for Oliver to show up. You look in the direction of the backdoor right when he appears from the crowd inside. Your heart skips a beat as you stand up quickly, a smile tugging on your lips. You are just about to wave in his way to catch his attention when you see some brunette by his side… holding his hand. And then she kisses him shortly right before they step out of the house.

What the fuck?! This cannot be true. Who is she? And why do you know nothing about her? Did Oliver keep it a secret that he is dating someone? But why?!

For a moment you actually feel like you are about to faint. Blood rushes out of your head as you see the couple walk their way around the beerpong tables, Oliver obviously looking for you, but you can’t bring yourself to move.

“Y/N! There you are!” he beams happily, pulling the brunette with him when he finally spots you. You need a moment for yourself to get over the first wave of your shock.

“Oh, yeah! Hi!” you smile awkwardly, eyes meeting with the girl’s. She is so pretty and actually seems nice. You hate her for that.

“Y/N, I want you to meet Lexi,” Oliver introduces the brunette. “Lexi, this is Y/N.”

“I’ve heard so much about you, Y/N!” she smiles, pulling you into a hug that catches you off guard for sure.

“Wow, I… wish I could say the same,” you bitterly reply, eyes meeting Oliver’s once Lexi lets go of you. He is clearly uncomfortable at your comment, but tries to mask it quickly.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I haven’t had the chance to tell you about Lexi. But it’s kind of new.”

“How new?”

“We’ve been going out for about three weeks,” she answers your question, her hand finding his pretty quickly as she smiles up at him with so much adoration.

“Oh,” is all you manage to get out for a moment. You still haven’t completely processed that your plan just went straight out the window and that once again, Oliver chose another girl over you.

But then, the more you think about it, the angrier you get. You are tired of this stupid game you two have been playing, but you also have no idea what to do about it.

“I thought that Y/N, if you have a boyfriend, we could maybe go on some double dates! Would be so much fun!” Lexi suggests, but her words make your stomach churn. You have always wanted to go on double dates, but with Oliver being your date. Not someone else’s…

“I uhh… I don’t…” You are so frozen, you can’t even think of an answer, you just want to leave as soon as possible, so you can cry yourself to sleep. Oliver brings an arm around Lexi’s shoulders, looking down at you as if he wasn’t cuddling you just not that long ago. As if he wasn’t preaching your beauty a few weeks ago, making you feel like the only girl in the world. This is so not fair.

“Y/N is not a fan of double dates.”

Suddenly, an arm swings around your shoulders and a tall body stands next to you, pulling you to his side. Turning your head you are shocked to see Harry standing there, smiling at Oliver and Lexi as if this discussion was completely his business.

Oliver seems just as shocked as you are. He is staring at the football player by your side with wide eyes.

“Wait, you two are… dating?”

“It’s pretty new, but yeah. Y/N and I have been going out for a while. Right, baby?” He squeezes your arm, glancing down at you and when your eyes meet, he gives you a look that says ‘just go with it, I’m saving your ass’ and you decide to play your part.

“Oh, umm, yeah. We’ve kind of reconnected when we got back after the summer,” you nod, hoping that your voice doesn’t give you away.

“That’s amazing!” Lexi cheers, clearly eating up the impromptu lie, but as you glance at Oliver, you can tell he is sceptic.

“I didn’t even know you were friends in the first place,” he comments, eyebrows furrowed a little as he eyes Harry’s hand on your shoulder.

“We were! We had a great time working on a group project last year and then later I asked for her number. But the summer was so busy for both of us, so we kind of fell out, but then we met again in September and I finally manned up to ask her out.”

You are impressed by how easily Harry is lying. If you didn’t know it wasn’t true, you would eat it up just as easily as Lexi is doing right now. Especially because his body language matches up with what he is saying so well. He is keeping you close, fingers dancing on your upper arm and shoulder, anyone would think he actually has a thing for you, but you know that’s not true. You two are barely even friends.

“That sounds so nice. We definitely should meet up sometime, the four of us!” Lexi suggests again and you stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

“We’ll see about that. But I’ll have to steal Y/N away now, I have something to show her.” Harry bids his goodbye quickly, pulling you away before Oliver could even say a thing and you just blindly follow him inside the house.

You don’t even process what’s happening. Harry takes your hand, pulling you through the crowd and you catch Sandra’s gaze who is still standing in the kitchen, her eyes widening when she sees you with Harry. You just shrug in confusion, following Harry upstairs until he leads you into a room that, you assume, is his.

When he shuts the door closed, the noises of the party gets muffled and you look at him with probably the stupidest look ever.

“Alright, let me explain myself,” he breathes out. “I’m sorry if I stepped over some boundaries, I just… I was outside and heard the conversation. Thought I would help you out.”

“But what made you think I needed help?” you ask. The conversation was very innocent for an outsider. He couldn’t know what you were planning to do, so why did he think you needed his help?

Harry gives you a tight-lipped smile, cocking his head to the side.

“Y/N, we might not be close friends, but I’ve seen you around with Oliver. It’s written on your forehead that you have the fattest crush on the guy.”

“What?!” you snap, feeling your cheeks heating up. “Is this really that obvious?!”

“Don’t worry, seems like he is one of the few that don’t seem to notice it. I saw how uncomfortable you were when he introduced the girl. Seemed like you needed the help.”

Nodding you take a few seconds to process everything that just happened. You shouldn’t have drunk that much, because now your brain has to work even harder to put the picture together.

“Alright, but… now they think that we are dating. Lexi will want to meet up with us and it will look stupid if we never even show up again together.”

Harry nods, his lips rolling into his mouth and you know just from his look that there’s more.

“Yeah, about that. I might have had some selfish reasons behind my actions as well.”

“What do you mean?”

Harry walks past you, over to his bed and sits on the edge, leaning forward to rest his arms on his thighs. You’re not sure what to do with yourself, if you should sit next to him or somewhere else, he has a few beanbags in the corner of his room, but you decide to just keep standing.

“So, I don’t know if you know this but I had this thing with Naomi Saddler.”

“Harry, everyone knows it.”

“Right, yeah,” he chuckles awkwardly. “So the thing is, we have broken up a long time ago, but she keeps coming after me and I’m just so over it. So when we were fighting earlier today I told her that I’m dating someone else so I would appreciate if she left me alone.”

He doesn’t need to say more, you finally see the whole picture. He helped you because he felt sorry for you, but also because he thought it would benefit him as well. You could be his new girlfriend so Naomi would finally let him be. You have to admit, it’s a lucky coincidence, but still, the situation is a little absurd for your liking.

“So… what are we supposed to do now?” you ask, tilting your head to the side. Harry looks up at you, seemingly surprised you haven’t snapped at him.

“Well, I know it sounds crazy, but I think we both would benefit from it if we just… pretended to be a couple,” he clears off.

“Like, a real couple?”

“Well, obviously not real, but it would look real to others,” he chuckles, standing up and taking a few steps closer to you. “I know it sounds stupid, but I’m convinced we could pull it off.”

“We barely know each other.”

“We’ll have plenty of time for that, won’t we?” he asks with a boyish smirk. “Look, we just have to appear together here and there. I’ll pick you up sometimes, we can go for lunch or dinner sometimes, and I’ll get you tickets for some of my games. That’s it. People will see us out together and that’s gonna be perfectly enough. Or do you actually hate me? Now is the time to tell me.”

“I don’t hate you, I don’t know you that well,” you reply with a soft chuckle. “But I’m not convinced enough this is a good idea at all.”

Harry sighs and walks closer until he can rest his hands on your shoulders. You look deep into his green eyes as he smiles at you warmly.

“Let’s make a deal. You can use me as an excuse whenever Oliver and Lexi wants to hang out with you, or if they actually force you to meet them, I’ll go with you so you won’t be the third wheel. And you’ll just have to say that I’m your boyfriend and spend some time with me so Naomi believes I’m dating you. I think it’s a fair deal for the both of us. And you can call it off anytime, I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to.”

You chew on your bottom lip, thinking hard to figure out what to do. Judging from this short conversation with Lexi, you’re sure she’ll try to keep you around often, but you are not in the mood to watch Oliver be all lovey-dovey with someone else, so you could actually use a solid excuse, which Harry just offered you on a silver plate. You just have to spend some time with him in exchange and tell people he is your boyfriend. It’s not that horrible and you always thought Harry is nice company, you two just never was in the same friend group to get closer. You can’t really bring up anything against his plan.

“Okay,” you finally nod, Harry’s eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“Really?”

“Why are you so shocked? Your points were valid, I’m willing to give it a try.”

“Yes! Thank you!” he cheers, arms wrapping around you as he hugs you tight in excitement. “I’ll be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had, you won’t be disappointed!”

You want to say how it’s easy to be the best because you’ve had none so far, but you decide to keep this information to yourself.

“We need to get our story straight though, so we don’t mess it up when someone asks.”

The two of you go over an elaborate timeline of your nonexistent relationship so you’ll be able to tell the same story. It’s the same he told Lexi and Oliver outside, you just agree on the details, like when you started dating, how he asked you out, what you’ve been doing as a couple lately.

When you leave his room a little later you’re still a tad bit shocked where this evening ended up heading. You really thought tonight would be the turning point for you and Oliver, but now you are in a fake relationship with Harry Styles, ready to fool everyone around you.

Walking down the stairs Harry takes your hand and laces your fingers together. You agreed on no kissing on the lips for now, but other touching is allowed, you’re just not used to have someone other than Oliver touch you like this.

“Want another drink?” he asks as the two of you walk into the kitchen. You’ve already caught some wide-eyed look upon your arrival, but you’re trying your best to ignore them.

“I surely need it,” you nod, making Harry chuckle.

Sandra and the other girls are still in the kitchen and she immediately pulls you to the side when Harry lets go of you to get drinks.

“What the fuck?!” she snaps, clearly a little drunk, but not enough to ignore the fact that she has seen you now two times holding Harry’s hand.

“Sandra, don’t freak out, I’ll explain it all when we go home, alright? But… as far as you know, Harry and I are dating.”

“You what? You better fucking tell me everything when we get back to the dorm!” she demands right when Harry appears, two cups in his hands, giving you one of them.

“Here,” he smiles warmly.

“Thank you. Harry, this is Sandra, my roommate.”

“Hi, I think I’ve seen you around, but we just never met.” Harry holds out his now empty hand and Sandra shakes it with a dramatic smile, clearly still confused about the situation.

“Yeah, but I guess we’ll be… seeing each other more?” she implies, telling Harry she knows something is up without using those words.

“Ehm, I guess,” he nods, a little uncomfortable before he turns to you. “Alright, I’ll get out of your hair. Let me know when you want to go back to the dorm.” “Sure,” you nod, Harry squeezes your hand gently before moving away.

Sandra is dying to know what the situation is with Harry, but you don’t really have the chance to talk in the middle of the party, so it’s postponed to later. You and Harry do your own thing through the rest of the night, occasionally interacting whenever you cross paths. When that happens he makes sure to touch your arm or face, have a few words with you so people see that the two of you have a thing going on.

It’s a little past one am when you and Sandra decide it’s time to head home. As promised, you shoot Harry a text that you’re planning to leave and he replies with one saying he’ll meet you outside at the front. By the time you and Sandra step outside, he is already there waiting.

“Ladies, let me walk you home,” he smirks charmingly, offering his arm for the both of you, so this is how you head home: you, Sandra and Harry walking side by side with linked arms.

“Mm, Harry, I hope you know you won’t be spending the night in our room,” Sandra sighs, clearly a little too lost in her drunk thoughts. Harry chuckles, finding it amusing that Sandra is so blunt.

“Weren’t planning to.”

“Good. I’m not gonna listen to you guys have sex all night.”

“Sandra!” you snap at her, gasping. It’s funny how she also believed the little act you and Harry put up tonight.

The walk back to the dorm is short and it’s mostly filled with Sandra’s babbling about whatever catches her attention. Arriving to the building Sandra says her goodbye to Harry, heading up to the room on her own so you can have a minute with Harry.

“I’ve had at least ten people coming up to me tonight, asking about you,” Harry tells you, an excited sparkle in his eyes.

“Really? And what did you tell them?”

“What we agreed on. That you’re my girlfriend.”

“Sounds so weird,” you admit with a chuckle.

“You’ll get used to it,” he nods smiling. “Well, I’m gonna head back. I’ll talk to you later, okay? We’ll discuss the dates and all.”

“Very romantic,” you point out smirking, but Harry just laughs before he gives you a quick hug.

“Good night, Y/N. Or should I say, baby?”

“Bye!” you sing waving in his way as you walk into the building.

It’s no surprise that Sandra is already out when you walk into the room. Her clothes are in a pile next to her bed, but she managed to throw on at least a t-shirt before she passed out. You just smile at her before doing your quick night routine and go to sleep yourself.

“So… you are fake dating Harry, because Oliver introduced you his new girlfriend and also because he is trying to get rid of Naomi? Am I getting this right?”

Sandra narrows her eyes at you over her morning coffee the next day, though it’s already past noon. Waking up was a little painful for the both of you, but especially for her, the two of you decided to treat yourselves for a very late brunch while you tell her everything she needs to know about last night.

“Yeah,” you nod, taking a bite from your waffles. “I know, it sounds stupid, but… it can easily work great for the both of us.”

“I can’t believe he just came up with it. You guys are not even really friends.”

“I know, I was shocked when he appeared all of a sudden and called me baby. Almost fainted,” you chuckle.

“I hope you know you’ll be one of the most envied girls in school if the news spread and I’m sure it will, because even I heard people talking about you and Harry last night.”

“I know, but there’s not much I can do about that,” you shrug.

“I feel like it’s the plotline of some teenage rom-com,” Sandra huffs. “Just be careful, Y/N,” she sighs, finishing off her coffee.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that pretending can easily turn into reality. If you’ll spend so much time with Harry, there’s a chance you’ll develop real feelings for him. Just make sure you won’t end up with a broken heart.”

“That’s silly, I won’t fall for Harry. I…” You cut your words, thoughts wandering over to Oliver right away, and how you felt when he introduced you to Lexi.

“I hope you’re right,” Sandra tells you, stuffing the last bits of her muffin into her mouth.

The weekend flies by fast, you busy yourself with doing laundry and finishing a paper you need to turn in soon. Harry text you on Sunday that he’ll walk you to class on Monday morning and you agree to meet up a little earlier so you can actually talk it all out.

Sandra is still in bed when you leave in the morning. Just as Harry promised, he is waiting for you in front of the building, wearing his usual black skinny jeans and a loose grey shirt and a zip-up hoodie. His curls look untamed, a little all over the place, but it looks good on him. You have to admit, that he is definitely handsome, you understand why so many of the girls at school are after him.

“Good morning, girlfriend,” he smirks, holding out his hand for you that you take, still feeling a little weird about walking around campus hand in hand with him.

“Good morning. How was your weekend?”

“Pretty boring, we had to clean up after the party,” he chuckles. “Wanna grab a coffee?”

“Sounds perfect.”

You swing by the little café that’s on campus before aiming for a bench under one of the pergolas near the main building.

“So, you still haven’t changed your mind,” he speaks up. It’s not a question, more like a comment.

“Not yet,” you chuckle softly, sipping on your cappuccino.

“I meant it that you can tell me whenever you want out. I don’t want to force you into it in any way.”

“I know,” you smile at him. “I’m fine for now. It’s just still a little weird.”

“I know, but I’m kind of happy you are the one I’m doing this with.”

“How come?”

“I don’t know, you seem like a cool person. I actually enjoyed working with you last year on that project, you are funny and smart, I think we’ll get along pretty well.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” he smirks at you, taking a sip from his coffee. “You know, if I’m being honest I never understood why you and that Oliver guy were so close anyway. You’ve known him for a long time?”

“Yeah, met him in middle school and we’ve been friends since then.”

“And how long have you been… you know,” he implies, seemingly very careful not to ask something that would upset you.

“Pretty much ever since I’ve met him,” you admit with an awkward chuckle. It sounds so embarrassing to admit that you’ve been in love with your best friend for so long and never worked up the courage to do something about it.

“You never even tried to tell him?”

“I was too afraid of his reaction. I was planning to come clean at the party finally, but then he arrived with Lexi and… you know the rest.”

“I’m sorry. I know how shitty it is when you have feelings for someone and they don’t feel the same about you.”

“So what’s the situation with you and Naomi then?” you ask, thinking it’s only fair if you also know his story now that you confessed him how ridiculous you’ve been with Oliver all your life.

“We dated at the end of last semester, tried to keep it up in the summer as well, but it didn’t work. It made me realize I don’t even want it to work so I told her that we should just go our separate ways when I got back after the summer, but she wasn’t a fan of my idea.”

“She’s still in love with you?”

“I’m not sure if she ever was,” he truthfully answers. “I think she liked the idea of dating someone more than she liked me.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be,” he smirks at you playfully. “I’m all good. I just wish she could accept that I want to move on. It’s not ideal that I have to fake date someone to get rid of her.”

“She always seemed like a nice girl to me, I wouldn’t have guessed she can be so stubborn.”

“Well, she is a nice girl,” Harry nods. “We were just not compatible on the long run, you know? I couldn’t see it work in the future, so I didn’t want to waste more time on it.”

You just shyly nod, even though you don’t really know about it. You can’t, because you’ve never been in a similar situation. You’ve had a few attempts at dating in high school, but they never turned out the way you wanted and you always ended up pining after Oliver at the end, so you eventually gave up. But you’re not willing to admit that to Harry. It’s pathetic enough that you’ve been so hung up on Oliver your whole life, he doesn’t need to know that you gave up your whole dating life for the wait for him.

“Well, aren’t we a nice pair then? Two ridiculously failed love stories, how tragic,” Harry chuckles softly as he finishes up his coffee and throws the empty cup into the bin next to him.

“Yeah, pathetic,” you agree with a tight-lipped smile.

It takes some time for word to travel, but by the end of the first week of your fake relationship, it becomes a well-known fact that you are indeed dating Harry Styles. You don’t overdo it though, only meeting up once or twice a day, Harry usually walks you to your classes in the morning if he doesn’t have a lecture himself, you’ve had lunch together twice and you went to the library on Thursday together. It’s been pretty casual and you’ve been actually enjoying spending time with Harry, especially because it seems like Oliver has fallen off the face of Earth lately, barely even talking to you.

The more time you spend with Harry the more you realize he is nothing like others try to make him look like. You’ve heard many gossips about him being an empty-headed womanizer, but he is a lot smarter than people assume him to be, but he has proven it before as well. He actually has a great point of view of life and it’s nice to discuss basically anything with him.

Friday brings another party and though you didn’t plan on going, you had Sandra and Harry convincing you this time. Then later Oliver texted you asking if you’d be there and it angered you a little. He barely spoke to you and is now asking if you are coming to the party where he’ll probably keep ignoring you for Lexi. So you told him you and Harry would be there. He didn’t reply to that.

You and Sandra call an Uber, the Omega house is a little farther away from the dorm than the Kappa house. Harry called you to tell you he’d be a little late this time because they are having a double practice today, but he would come and find you when he arrives.

“Isn’t it a little weird you can’t hook up with anyone because of the Harry situation?” Sandra asks as the two of you make your way through the spacious living room, heading to the empty loveseat in the corner.

“As if I did a lot of hooking up before,” you scoff, taking a sip from your drink.

“Okay, but you could be doing it now, but you can’t, because people would think you’re cheating.”

“It’s a good thing then that I’m not into hooking up,” you point out with a shrug. You were never a fan of just hooking up with someone and then move on the next morning, that’s just not for you. It’s not a big deal that you are kind of out of the dating scene because of your arrangement with Harry, you don’t feel like you’re missing out on anything.

The two of you are joined by a few peers from one of Sandra’s classes and you barely even notice when Oliver and Lexi arrive, however, they immediately spot you.

“Y/N! Hi! So good to see you again!” Lexi greets you, pulling you into a completely unnecessary hug.

“Oh, hi. Good to see you too, I guess,” you chuckle awkwardly. Oliver gives you a side hug as well, but it seems like he is not entirely present in his head.

“Where’s Harry?” Oliver questions.

“He’ll be here soon, he just had double practice today,” you tell him and he nods shortly, but something feels off about him.

Lexi makes you come to the kitchen with them so she can get a drink and you can’t really think of a reason why you shouldn’t, so you find yourself listening to her nonstop chatter while Oliver is mixing them something to drink.

Y/N: Harry, SOS! When are you getting here?? I’m stuck with O and L…

You really hope he is somewhere close, because you’re not sure how long you can put up with their company.

“I know last time you said you’re not a fan of double dates, but I really think we should give it a try!” Lexi begs you, she even puts her bottom lip at you and it annoys you how she can’t just leave you to be.

“Yeah, I would love to get to know Harry better,” Oliver chimes in.

“You do?”

Relief washes over you the moment you hear Harry’s voice coming from behind you, a moment later you feel his palm on the small of your back and you’re finally rescued. He smells like fresh body wash, he surely just had a shower right before he came here. You let yourself lean into his side, curling an arm around his waist.

“Harry, nice to see you again,” Oliver smiles at him dryly and now you’re sure something is up with him, but what is it?

“Sorry I’m so late. Everything alright?” Harry looks you in the eyes and you know his question is more than just him being nice. He wants to know if Oliver and Lexi has driven you up the walls.

“I’m… fine, yeah,” you nod and he holds your gaze for another moment before nodding to himself.

“We were just talking about how amazing a double date would be. I’m sure you could convince Y/N to come, right?” Lexi smiles at Harry and you catch a small frown on his face before he returns the smile to Lexi. You find it funny, but you push down your laugh.

“Um, not sure. Y/N always has a strong will, not sure I want to go against it.”

“Oh, come on! It’ll be fun!”

“Y/N doesn’t like PDA, I’m sure double dating is a lot for her,” Oliver comments and your eyebrows shoot up at his words.

“How would you know if I disliked PDA?”

He has no valid information about it. He wouldn’t know, because the only person you ever wanted to get touchy and lovey in public was him, but he only let you get physically close to him when no one was around. When he felt like he needed someone in his bed so he didn’t feel too alone. When he let his hands roam your body under the blanket when you were watching a movie. He never let it happen with others around though, so how would he even know what you like? Hell, even you don’t know it…

Oliver’s eyes meet yours and it’s clear that your question caught him off guard.

“You told me,” he simply answers.

“I don’t remember,” you retort, not letting him get away with it this time.

“This is how you’ve always been.” He is clearly pissed that you are going against him.

“You know what? Let’s do a double date next weekend, alright? But we have somewhere to be now, if you’ll excuse us,” Harry cuts in, taking your hand as he pulls you away from the happy couple. You glance back at Oliver one last time before turning around.

Harry walks you out to the backyard and the cool air hits you hard in the head. You haven’t even realized how hot you were getting in there, but you’re not entirely sure it was because of all the people, rather of because Oliver’s behavior.

“Okay, what the fuck was that in there?” Harry questions.

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N, I’m not dumb or blind. Lexi might be oblivious to whatever you and Oliver have going on, but I’m not. Something has happened between you and him, right?”

You chew on your bottom lip, crossing your arms on your chest, not too keen on admitting it. You have never told anyone about it in details, not even Sandra. She knows you and Oliver get a little too close at times, but she has no idea you’ve slept with him on several occasions. You always thought you were a fool for sleeping with him and then watching him date other girls.

Unfortunately, your silence is enough for Harry to draw his conclusion.

“Wait, what? Did you two…?”

“Yes,” you shortly nod, feeling uncomfortable, but you can tell you can’t dodge this conversation this time.

“You’re telling me he has the nerve to sleep with you whenever it’s convenient for him and then drop you when he starts dating someone else?”

“It sounds worse than how it really is,” you mumble, but you don’t truly believe your own words. It’s pretty bad either way.

“Y/N, this is fucked up. A friend wouldn’t do that to you. It’s one thing to seek comfort at your friends, but using them for your own physical needs is just way beyond the line.”

You have nothing to say. Deep down you know he is right, you’ve always known, but you never knew what to do against it. Before you could even stop yourself, you feel your lips trembling, tears bubbling in your eyes as you glance at Harry. You expect pity from him, an act that tells you that you brought it all to yourself, but that’s not what you see. He gives you an apologetic look and he is quick to pull you into a tight hug, exactly what you need right now.

“I know, I’m so stupid,” you mumble into his chest.

“You’re not. He is just an ass,” he corrects you, earning a small chuckle from you. “Hey, do you want to get out of here?” he asks, pulling back so he can look into your eyes.

“You just got here.”

“Yeah, but I’m not really in the mood to party. Want to have a bite somewhere?”

“That would be… great,” you nod with a small smile, sniffling a little before you wipe your cheeks.

You let Sandra know you’re leaving with Harry and she can tell something has happened, but you just tell her you’ll talk later and she doesn’t push it further. Harry takes your hand as the two of you make your way through the people and you spot Oliver near the kitchen, one arm around Lexi’s shoulders as his gaze meets yours. You see him clenching his jaw when he sees your hand in Harry’s hold, but you don’t pay much attention to him, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

Luckily Harry drove to the Omega house so now you don’t have to wait for a car or take a long walk, you can enjoy the comfort of his Rover as the two of you leave the party behind. It’s silent in the car, you fold your arms over your chest, your head resting against the car door, not even questioning him where you are headed.

About ten minutes later Harry pulls up at a little diner, the two of you walk in and it’s not surprising there are just a few people lingering around at this time, though you know later they’ll have quite a few drunk students that are on their way home and in desperate need of a late night bite.

You take an empty booth and a waitress arrives immediately, handing you each a menu.

“Do you go here often?” you ask quietly, eyeing the options.

“Sometimes. They have great fries.”

You nod and decide to have just a cheeseburger with fries and a lemonade while Harry gets the veggie burger and a milkshake. The waiter takes the order shortly and leaves you alone. You’re not sure what to say, but you feel like you need to say something.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, staring down at your arms laying on the edge of the table, your right hand covering your left.

“For what exactly?”

“For… I just feel so stupid about this whole… Oliver thing. I know I shouldn’t have done what we did, but I just… couldn’t say no. I know, sounds ridiculous.”

“No, not at all,” Harry shakes his head. “You fell for him and he used you. If there’s anyone to blame it’s him, he shouldn’t use a friend for his own selfish needs. I’m not judging you, it’s easy to fall into holes like this.”

“I just really thought that he came to me because I meant something for him, but I can tell that… it wasn’t anything like that. The way he acted today was shockingly sobering,” you chuckle bitterly. “I think he is mad that I’m not available for him anymore and he is trying to play us down,” you say pointing at him and yourself. “So when he breaks it off with Lexi he can count on me, but it’s not happening.”

“I am happy to help you teach him any kind of lesson,” Harry grins just as the waiter arrives with the food and you start the feast. “I know you despise the idea of going on a double date with them, but I think we could have a lot of fun,” Harry points out while eating.

“How?”

“It’s obviously bugging Oliver that you are dating someone, we could give him the extra happy couple act, make him question why he was always such an asshole to you.”

“You think it would bother him?”

“Absolutely,” he chuckles. “We would serve him all the sappy, lovey couple shit from movies and get under his skin. I think it would be fun.”

“Okay, let’s do it,” you nod and Harry grins at you from across the table.

“Yes! Fake dating on maximum level!” he cheers, punching into the air, making you laugh.

As the two of you eat Harry talks your ears off and you know exactly why he just keeps on talking. He wants to take your mind away from everything about Oliver and he succeeds. He tells you stories about what it’s like to live in the frat house, all the funny things they’ve done with the boys and you just keep laughing and laughing until all the food is gone, the table is cleared off and it’s nearing one in the morning. Just as you expected, people from around the campus start dropping by for their midnight bite so the two of you slowly head out, not really wanting to run into someone you know. Harry drives you back to the dormitory and walks you up to the entrance.

“Thank you for tonight,” you breathe out, still feeling a little helpless and pathetic, but he definitely made it better with his company.

“No worries. After all, this is what boyfriends are for,” he chuckles lightly. “But I hope you are not gonna sink into self-pity over that douche.”

“Just a little?” you peek up at him with a scowl.

“Nope, not even a little, Y/N. He doesn’t deserve your time. If he is really gonna let you slip through his fingers, he is the biggest idiot on Earth. And he also has to be blind.”

For some reason, Harry’s words bring a blush to your cheeks, even if there’s a chance he doesn’t really mean them.

“Thank you,” you breathe out and he pulls you in for a hug without hesitation. You wrap your arms around his waist and inhale his sweet scent, melting into his warm embrace before you force yourself to let your arms fall from around his frame.

“Have a good rest of your weekend, girlfriend,” he smirks, backing towards his car. “I’ll see you on Monday!”

“Bye Harry!” you smile in his way before making your way inside.

Not too willingly, but you talk to Oliver the next week about the double date. He sounds clearly surprised that you brought it up yourself and he tries to talk you down, but you’re now way too curious about what would go down, so he has no choice than to say yes. You fix the date to Saturday and Harry says it’s fine for him and that the two of you can go over to the frat house later, they are gonna have a small get together for one of the guys’ birthday. Not a party, more of a beer and pizza type of evening since Clyde, the birthday boy is not that big of a party animal.

The week passes by as usual, you spend some time with Sandra and a little more with Harry. Since you’ve started this whole dating thing, you’ve found yourself getting used to have him around. It doesn’t feel forced anymore, you actually like hanging out with him, have him beside you in the library even if you’re not even talking and whenever you spot him waiting for you in the morning or after one of your classes, you have this stupid smile on your face walking up to him, especially when he calls you girlfriend. Sandra’s warning words pop up in your head time to time, telling you to be careful with having actual feelings for Harry, but you keep telling yourself the two of you are nothing else than just good friends.

Saturday morning you get your nails done with Sandra, have some much needed girly time since you’ve had little of that lately, even a fake relationship needs a lot of time and energy, if you’re being honest.

Sandra catches you smiling down at a text that’s from Harry, he just joked about wearing a tux to the roller-skating rink and you imagined it right away, the picture of everyone else dressed casually while he is dressed for a royal ball is just hilarious.

“So how are things with Harry?” she asks from the chair next to you.

“What do you mean?” you ask, eyes fixed on your nails as the lady is carefully painting them a light pink color.

“You two are like glued together.”

“Yeah, I like spending time with him. And like, we are dating,” you smirk, finding it funny to just casually say it.

“You do know you don’t have to keep the act up with me, right?”

“I know, but we really are friends,” you nod.

“Just friends? Because sometimes being friends with someone is a bit more to you,” she comments and your face falls. She right away realizes it was a little harsh. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it. I didn’t mean to be a bitch. I’m just trying to look out for you. I don’t want to see another guy taking advantage of you.”

“He is already taking advantage of me in a way, but it’s mutual,” you shrug, trying to mask the fact how much her words hurt. You’re still trying to get over the whole Oliver thing and though it’s been easier with Harry around, you still feel hurt over how badly he has been using you in the past years.

“And… you don’t have feelings for him?”

“We’re friends,” you tell her again.

“Yes, but you can have feelings for a friend too, Y/N.”

“I don’t really want to talk about it. We are doing fine, I enjoy being with him, that’s all.”

“Alright, I believe you. Just want to make sure you are not getting yourself into another Oliver situation.”

“I’m not. Harry is not him,” you firmly state and it’s the truth. Even if things go south with him, you can never see him do the things Oliver did. He is not him in the best possible way.

For the double date you choose to wear your favorite pair of light-washed mom jeans with a tank top tucked into it and a colorful cardigan under your jacket. Harry texted you that he would pick you up at six and because you are ready by half past five, you sit around in your room a little anxiously. You honestly have no idea what’s gonna happen tonight, where it’s gonna head but you can only hope it won’t be scandalous. People already talk enough about you for dating Harry, you don’t need to be known about being the girl who made a scene at the roller-skating rink with her boyfriend and best friend. It wouldn’t do good to your reputation.

When Harry finally texts you letting you know he has arrived you rush down the stairs, still haven’t been able to shake your nerves off, but as soon as you spot him standing by his car, you kind of forget about everything else. He is wearing his usual skinny jeans with a black shirt, of course, the first few buttons left undone. His hair is getting longer, curls constantly falling into his forehead, but you love it. Makes him look soft and like… like a prince.

“Hey, ready to have fun?” he smirks at you, opening the door to the passenger seat to you.

“I don’t think I will ever be ready for this kind of fun,” you admit with a soft chuckle before getting into the car.

“I’ll be right there with you, okay? We’re gonna crush them,” he grins at you driving. “And we can just leave whenever you want to.” Reaching over the console he takes your hand and squeezes it gently. The gesture sends a shiver running down your spine. It feels so good to have his support, you wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else than him.

Oliver and Lexi are already at the arcade that’s connected with the skating place when the two of you arrive. She looks ecstatic about tonight and it’s almost kind of cute, you’re convinced you’d actually be friends with her if the two of you met under different circumstances.

“Hi! Thank you so much for coming! I know it’s not really your thing, but I’m so happy we can finally hang out!” she cheers, giving you a hug. Oliver and Harry shake hands and Harry gives Lexi a short hug while you just awkwardly nod in Oliver’s direction, already feeling anxious in his presence. Harry takes your hand walking in and squeezes it gently. Peeking up at him he gifts you with a warm smile that tells you: it’s gonna be alright, I’m here with you.

Once all four of you have changed your shoes to your skates and put your belongings to the lockers you head to the rink, you and Lexi in the middle, Harry on your other side while Oliver is on Lexi’s other side.

“Y/N, Oliver has told me a lot about you. What was it like, growing up with him?” Lexi asks as the four of you roll around. You’re not the worst at roller-skating, you can move confidently, but it seems like Harry is the best out of all of you, easily moving around, as if he were on his feet.

Thinking back at your time with Oliver now at Lexi’s question, it’s quite bittersweet. Because you are starting to realize things you didn’t see back then. Like how you were always in his shadow, he was always the guy everyone liked and you were just the girl that tagged along.

“Um, not sure what you want to know about,” you chuckle awkwardly as you watch Harry throw his ball for the first time.

“Was he a womanizer? Tell me the truth! He says he barely dated a few people,” she chuckles, taking Oliver’s hand. He is pretty much avoiding to look you in the eyes as you glance over him and you really wish she didn’t ask you about it.

“He had quite a few… flings,” you say, not entirely sure how to phrase it. He wasn’t a womanizer, but he did start to hook up with you between girls a while ago, making his reputation a little questionable.

“I knew you were downplaying it!” she playfully smacks his chest and you just bite into your bottom lip. This is already so awkward.

“I think Y/N is just exaggerating,” Oliver chimes in, seemingly not a fan of the conversation either.

“Sure, it’s always me,” you mumble under your breath.

Harry takes your hand and gets a little ahead of you before turning around so he is facing you while skating backwards.

“Hey baby, want me to teach you how to go in zig-zag?” he smirks, clearly wanting to ease the tension. Nodding you let him take both of your hands as the two of you stay a little back from Oliver and Lexi. “Don’t let him get under your skin. He is a fucking asshole,” he tells you when he knows they can’t hear him.

“Was he always like this? I have no idea how I could put up with his act,” you mumble with a scowl.

“Fuck them. Come on, let’s have a good time,” he grins before taking the lead.

Harry makes your forget about them so easily, like it’s not even a double date, just the two of you hanging out. He keeps teaching you moves, laughing together whenever you get wobbly. He catches you every time when you’re about to lose your balance, he doesn’t let you fall and every time his arms circle around you, keeping you on your feet steadily, you find yourself blushing at how close he is getting to you. His hands holding yours, small touches on your arms and back, he takes every chance to connect the two of you and you enjoy every second of it.

“Harry, no!” you laugh as he holds your hand, still going around.

“Come on! Just try it! Just a little jump!” he encourages.

“Do you want to see me fall?”

“I would have let you fall a long time ago if that’s what I wanted,” he smirks. He gets ahead of you again, both his hands taking yours and you still can’t get used to how soothing his palms feel against yours. “I’ll catch you this time too, don’t worry.”

“I swear you are trying to kill me,” you groan as you try to figure out how to do a little jump without breaking a bone. “But just a little one!”

“The tiniest one,” he chuckles nodding.

You let him take the lead and he starts pulling you again, skating backwards like he did all evening and when you feel like you’re stable enough, you give it a go.

Unfortunately, what happens is exactly what you were expecting. When your skates meet with the floor again after the little jump, you don’t find your balance and immediately feel your feet rolling out from under yourself. Harry reaches out for you, just like he promised, grabbing onto your arm with one hand while the other one presses into your back, but this time he can’t save you and you pull him with yourself as well. The two of you end up falling to the ground in a laughing mess as Harry is partially lying on you, an arm stuck under you while the other one is across your chest.

“I told you!” you cry out but it turns into laughter pretty fast.

“I’m sorry, baby, are you okay?” he asks laughing and your heart skips a beat at how he called you baby again and Oliver is not even around.

“I-I’m fine,” you breathe out as he peels himself off you, helping you up with him as well. He is so close to you as you finally stand on your feet again, your noses almost brush against each other as you blink up at him nervously.

It would be so easy to kiss him. You want to know what it’s like to feel his lips against yours. Maybe if you move just a little…

“Are you trying to break a bone, Y/N?” Lexi rolls up to you, totally breaking the moment as you both turn to her. Harry leaves an arm around you, hand resting on your waist and you lean against him to steady yourself on your wheels.

“It was Harry’s idea, but I knew I would terribly fail,” you chuckle slightly. Oliver appears behind Lexi, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and you clench your jaw at the gesture. Harry must have noticed the shift in you, because he tightens his hold around you, his hand soothingly running up and down your side. And just like that, Oliver is long forgotten, you can only think about how it feels to have his fingers dancing on you.

“You were never really into athletic things, Y/N,” Oliver comments and you grimace.

“Just because I didn’t play any sports in high school, doesn’t mean I can’t try things now.”

“I think you did great,” Harry smiles down at you. “You just need a little more practice and you’ll be better than me, baby.”

Baby, there’s that pet name again. It’s doing things to you for sure.

Glancing over at Oliver you catch what looks like an eye-rolling and he genuinely looks annoyed by you and Harry and it’s making your blood boil at this point. Why can he be the only one to date someone? Why can’t you have a good time with someone? Now that you are thinking about it, he did it not only with guys, but also with anyone who tried to be friends with you. Oliver wanted him to be your only friend and sneakily ruined every friendship you ever had. Sandra is your first real friend other than Oliver, only because he couldn’t do anything against you forming any kind of relationship with your roommate. But you are now getting quite fed up with his little games and Harry might not be your real boyfriend, but you are friends with him and Oliver can do nothing about that.

Soon enough you decide you’ve had enough of the skating, so you move to the side and start changing back to your shoes. Lexi runs out to the restroom and while you are putting your sneakers back on Harry spots someone he knows, working at the buffet so he steps aside for a minute, leaving you and Oliver alone.

“Are you really dating him?” you hear him speak up and you can’t help the scowl on your face.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He is just so not the type of person you hang out with,” he comments with a shrug and your eyebrows shoot up.

“First of all, how would you know? My friends were always kind of more your friends, never really had the chance to find my people. And second, what’s the problem with him?”

“The problem is that we all know what he is like. Everyone on campus knows that Harry is famous for going after a lot of girls.”

“And you believe what others say? You know nothing about him. He is not what people try to make him appear to be, but you wouldn’t know, because you don’t know him like I do. And for the record, yes, I really am dating him and I’m very happy about it.”

You can tell he doesn’t like your reaction and he is probably fighting back to snap at you, but Harry soon returns, oblivious to the scene that just went down, however he can sense the shift in the atmosphere immediately.

“Everything alright?” he asks, seemingly innocently, but you know he is asking if Oliver has done something.

“Yeah. Can we leave?” you ask, not too keen on staying with Oliver any longer. It’s getting hard to imagine how you could ever put up with him and his act.

“Are you guys leaving? We could grab a bite together!” Lexi chimes in arriving back from the restroom. You are about to decline, but Harry speaks up before you.

“Oh, we have plans already, but maybe some other time,” he politely says, a hand on your lower back as he pulls you to his side and you’re thankful for his close presence now. If he weren’t there, you would have already jumped at Oliver’s throat probably.

“Oh, okay! I’m glad we got to do this though,” she smiles warmly, taking Oliver’s hand while you just chew on the inside of your cheeks, very keen on leaving as soon as possible.

Your force a smile on your face, bidding goodbye before Harry takes your hand and the two of you head out to his car.

“Hey, everything okay?” he asks when it’s finally just the two of you. Staring down at your hands on your lap, you bite into your bottom lip.

“Just… let’s leave. I had enough of Oliver for a life today,” you mumble and luckily, Harry doesn’t try to keep asking around, just starts the car and leaves.

On the way he asks if you still want to come over to the frat house and you say yes, because you feel like you could use the distraction. You’d rather spend some more time around him than go back to your dorm room and be alone with your thoughts.

Just as he promised, it’s nothing big, just a few close friends of some of the frat boys, pizza boxes are piled in the kitchen, music is playing in the background but it’s not blasting like when it’s a party. A big group is playing UNO in the living room using two deck of cards so the rounds don’t end too soon.

You and Harry get a slice of pizza, already starving after the skating and when you’re done with that, the two of you wander into the living room. There’s no more room left on the mismatched couches so Harry plops himself down to the ground and you stop for a moment, because there’s someone sitting on both of his sides, leaving not much space for you, but he is quick to solve the problem by taking your hand and pulling you down so you sit between his legs, your back pressed against his chest.

“Oh,” you breathe out from the sudden contact, but it feels nice. You cross your legs so his legs can bridge over them with his knees bent as he looks over your shoulders to see the game unfold.

“You guys want to play?” one of the girls asks.

“There’s not enough cards for the both of them to join!” another warns.

“We’ll just play together,” Harry speaks up from behind you and in the next round you join the game.

Harry rests his chin on your shoulder as his arms come around you, holding the cards so you can see them as well. It’s the closest he has been to you, basically wrapped around you and it’s definitely doing things to you. The way his chest warms your back, how you can feel every breath he draws because his face is so close next to yours, how his arms cage you gently, you are suddenly aware of even the smallest things.

“Pick one,” he murmurs when it’s your turn to throw a card in. You’ve been so occupied with him that you have no idea what color or number you should pick so you quickly check the deck in the middle before pointing at a red card. “Throw it in,” he tells you, pushing the card up with his thumb so you can take it and put it to the top.

Sitting here, on the floor of his frat house, his arms around you feels so much better than anything you’ve experienced with Oliver and the realization hits you hard in the chest. Turning your head to the side you let yourself take a good look at his perfect side profile, his chiseled jawline, the bridge of his nose and the little wrinkle between his eyebrows as he knits them together in focus, staring down at the cards in his hands. He catches you looking, his green eyes meet yours and a soft smile spreads across his face.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you shake your head.

“Everything alright?” he quietly asks and you nod.

“Yeah,” you breathe out turning back, but you still feel his lingering gaze on you for a few more moments before he turns away too.

You keep playing as the night moves on, drinking some beer, making you relax even more, though Harry’s closeness does the job just perfectly. Even when you are not sitting on the ground anymore, he always keeps close to you. Curling an arm around your waist when you stand in the kitchen talking with others, he keeps giving your hands and hips assuring little squeezes and you can’t help but lean into his touch every time. You want him close, you want to feel his touch, you love it when your eyes meet and he always shoots you a small smile, it makes your heart flutter, like you’re a little school girl with a silly crush.

Because now you are more than sure that you’re crushing on Harry. How can you not? He has been so good to you, did more than Oliver has ever done and you’ve been friends for just a few weeks.

You leave him for just a few minutes while you use the bathroom and as you return, you catch some of the conversation he is having with one of the boys, Jake.

“Dude, can’t believe the ladies’ favorite Styles is taken,” Jake laughs and it makes you scowl as you stop at the corner, listening on them.

“Jake, I told you to stop calling me that,” Harry huffs.

“I’m just telling you the truth. Every girl on campus is after you.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with me being in a relationship.”

“I just thought that the womanizer Harry Styles wouldn’t settle again for a while.”

“Jake, I’m not a womanizer, stop this bullshit. Just because girls try to get together with me, doesn’t mean I want the same thing.”

You choose this moment to walk in, knowing well Harry must be losing his patience with Jake and his irrelevant accusations. Walking in you smile warmly at Harry, curling an arm around his waist as you lean into his side. His arm comes around your shoulders and he pulls you close. Jake eyes you with an unreadable expression before his gaze returns to Harry.

“Hope you know what you are doing, mate.”

“I surely do,” Harry firmly answers and it makes you smile, especially because you know what they’ve been talking about.

When Jake walks out you turn to face Harry, playfully poking his tummy as you glance up at him.

“Hey,” you smile up at him, your arms wrapping around his waist as his hands fall to your shoulders.

“Hey,” he chuckles. “Why are you so smiley?”

“I can’t smile?”

“Of course you can,” he smirks. “Want to go back a little more?” he asks nodding towards the living room where there are still quite a few people. You nod and let go of him, turning around you are just about to walk ahead but you didn’t see that a girl was coming inside and you bump right into her, the liquid from her cup spilling down your shirt.

“Shit!” you gasp jumping back, colliding a little with Harry’s chest and his hands immediately grab your waist in case you might lose your balance.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry!” the girl stutters, reaching for paper towels right away, but it helps nearly nothing.

“It’s fine,” you breathe out pressing your lips together.

“Come on, I’ll give you a shirt,” Harry tells you, taking your hand, walking you upstairs. The fabric of your shirt is turning cold against your skin and you really want to get rid of it.

Harry pulls out a simple black shirt for you and shows you the way to his little bathroom. Changing into his shirt you make an attempt to wash yours out, but it doesn’t do much to the sugary spill.

“Do you mind if I stay in it for the rest of the evening? I promise I’ll give it back next time we meet.”

“Sure,” Harry smiles and you catch his gaze wandering down your body, his shirt hanging loosely on your frame. “Do you still want to stay or do you want me to give you a ride back to the dorm?”

“Uh, maybe I should head home,” you nod to yourself.

“Is it okay if I take a quick shower? I feel so sweaty after the skating, just five minutes.”

“Sure, go ahead,” you nod smiling before he disappears in the bathroom.

You hear him turn the water on and walking over to his bed you lie down for a little, feeling the tiredness coming over you all at once. It’s been a long and exhausting day and listening to the soothing voice of the running water you find yourself drifting off to sleep before you could stop yourself.

When you open your eyes again the room is completely dark, but you quickly realize it’s not your dorm room; you’re still at Harry’s. Turning to the side you see him sleeping peacefully on the other side of the mattress, lying on his back. Still groggy with sleep, you realize you fell asleep while he was in the shower and he probably didn’t want to wake you so just went to bed next to you.

He looks like an angel sleeping, his green irises hidden from the world, thick lashes fanned over his cheeks, his pink lips slightly parted as his chest rises and falls peacefully. Sleeping in his bed, wearing his clothes, seeing him next to you, he is all you can think about and it brings a smile to your face.

Gently, you scoot closer to him, but still don’t touch him, however the movement makes him huff in his sleep and turning to his side his arm falls across your waist, making you gasp in surprise. You freeze, thinking that he might wake up any moment but it doesn’t happen and you’re stuck in his hold, not that you mind it. You push yourself a little closer, your nose almost touching his chest as you make yourself comfortable and closing your eyes you go back to sleep without a worry in the world.

Waking up you find yourself curled up to Harry’s side, one of his army around you while the other is holding your hand on his stomach. Blinking your eyes open you look around and take a few seconds to fully wake up. Harry feels so warm against you, but you think he might not like to find you all melted against him so you try to move away but his hold tightens around you.

“Mmm, stop movin’ around,” he mumbles sleepily.

“Sorry, I just thought that… you might feel hot,” you lie in a whisper.

“I am hot,” he smirks with his eyes still closed and his comment makes you laugh.

“And so full of yourself!” you chuckle and try to pull away once again, but he locks you to his side, not letting you break the position you are in.

“I said stop movin’! I like being warm in the morning,” he murmurs, snuggling you more to his side and you bite into your bottom lip as your smile stretches wider with each passing second.

Yeah, you definitely have a crush on Harry and you can’t even act like you don’t.

“Sorry for falling asleep in your bed,” you mumble, closing your eyes as you let your head rest on his chest.

“Y’ looked cute,” he huffs with a soft smile. “S’alright. Give me five minutes and I’ll be awake to drive you back to the dorm.”

You hum a response and just enjoy it while it lasts, not wanting to let him go anytime soon. But you have to. Slowly, the two of you get ready to leave, you want to change back to your stained shirt, but Harry tells you to just keep the shirt, he has two more of the exact same one so you walk out of the frat house wearing Harry’s shirt, holding Harry’s hand and get into Harry’s car. He is everywhere and you absolutely love it.

“So we have this game next weekend and I thought you might want to come? You don’t have to if you absolutely hate football, I just thought—“

“I would love to,” you say cutting his rambling short as he smiles with his eyes staring ahead at the road.

“Cool. Bring your roommate if you want.”

“Sure,” you smile.

Football has never been your thing, but watching Harry is, so the game turns out better than you expected. Sandra tags along and luckily, she knows a little more about the game than you do, so you can ask her questions whenever you are completely lost about the happenings. Though you don’t know much about what a good player should be like, but it’s still clear to you that Harry is one of them. He scores half the points of his team and you are guessing that’s quite fascinating.

“Am I just dreaming or does he keep looking your way?” Sandra questions after you also just caught Harry’s gaze on you a moment ago.

“So what if he is?” you ask with a shy smile, eyes glued to his running frame on the field.

“Are you guys like… really together?”

“No,” you shake your head. “We are just friends,” you add, the term tasting a little bitter on your tongue.

“But you want more.” It’s not a question, Sandra can see right through you. Glancing at her you let out a huff before turning back at the game.

“It’s hard not to,” you truthfully admit, your eyes following Harry’s every movement on the field. Looking around you see that you are probably not the only one. Half of the girls on the bleachers are staring at him and you can’t even blame them. You have to be blind and stupid at the same time not to like him and apparently, you’re neither.

They win, no surprise. The whole team goes crazy as they score their last point and it puts them in the lead in the last minute. Everyone is cheering and screaming at the boys as they are celebrating their victory, along with Harry.

Jake starts running up and down the bleachers shouting that they are throwing a victory party at the frat house so now you know what you’re gonna do for the rest of the evening. As the team makes its way back towards the locker rooms Harry runs up to you, all sweaty and grinning crazily.

“Hey, you coming for the party, right?” he asks, still breathing heavily from the game.

“Sure,” you chuckle.

“Yes! You guys want a ride?” he asks in excitement glancing at Sandra beside you.

“That would be nice,” she nods happily.

“Alright, meet me at my car in fifteen,” he breathes out and before he runs away, he leans down and presses a kiss to your cheek, then leaves in a rush, catching up with the other guys. Suddenly, it feels a lot hotter than before…

“Okay, there’s no way he is not into you too,” Sandra mumbles to you as the two of you head out to the parking lot.

“You think so?”

“Oh, I know so,” she laughs, folding her arms on her chest. “That guy is like a puppy in love around you.”

“What if it’s just his normal?”

“I don’t know, is it? You’re the one who spends every possible minute with him,” she points out and she is right. This wasn’t like this before and as far as you know, he was never like this with anyone either. The only person you saw him act similarly was Naomi when they were dating, so could this be a hint for you that he feels the same way?

You’re still chewing on it when Harry emerges from the building, carrying his huge sports bag on his shoulder, his locks still wet from the shower he must have taken, his smile is still as wide as it was after the game.

“Ladies, fancy a ride?” he asks and as he walks past you he squeezes your hand gently before rounding the car and sitting behind the wheel.

By the time you arrive to the frat house the party is already on, music blasting in the living room where not so long ago you were playing UNO, sitting in Harry’s arms, booze is piling in the kitchen and more and more people are showing up.

“Hey, can you come up with me to drop my bag off and change?” Harry asks upon walking into the house and you nod. Sandra gives you a look that says ‘man up and talk to him’ before you take Harry’s hand and the two of you head upstairs.

“Be honest, did you bore yourself to death at the game?” Harry asks when you’re in the safety of his room.

“It wasn’t that bad, though I definitely need to learn more about the rules,” you chuckle admitting as you sit on the edge of his bed while he moves around, putting away his stuff. You watch him with a fluttering heart as you think about your conversation with Sandra. Even if she is right, how do you bring it up? You can’t just simply drop that you would like to turn your fake relationship into something real, you are not ballsy enough for that anyway.

“I’ll change quickly and we can head out,” he smiles, grabbing his usual skinny jeans and a white shirt from his dresser before disappearing in his bathroom.

While he is in there, you try to build your courage up to have the talk with him. Now seems like a good time, you’re alone in his room, no audience in case he rejects you painfully so no one would witness your breakdown. Chewing on the inside of your cheeks you stand up and start pacing the floor, stopping when the door opens and he walks out, smiling at you warmly as he fixes the dog tag around his neck.

“Everything alright?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.

“I, uhh… I wanted to talk about something,” you start shyly, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.

“Okay, go for it,” he nods walking closer.

“I just, I’M not sure how to bring this up, and I hope it won’t sound weird. But I’ve been thinking about, um—I thought about this, what we’ve been doing and I realized that I—“

Your rambling speech gets interrupted when Jake bursts into the room without even a knock or warning word.

“Dude, come down! We need you on our beerpong team!” he urges Harry who gives him an annoyed look.

“Jake, don’t just fucking barge into my room without knocking!” Harry snaps at him.

“Like I haven’t seen your dick before,” Jake snorts and you feel the heat crawling up your neck at even just the thought of Harry naked.

“I don’t fucking care, knock!”

“Okay!” Jake growls rolling his eyes. “But you gotta come down now!”

Harry looks back at you, knowing well you two were in the middle of a conversation, but Jake’s arrival threw you off completely.

“Go, we can… talk later, it’s not that important,” you smile at him weakly.

“Are you sure?” he asks, his hand taking yours.

“Yeah, totally. Just go and celebrate your win,” you chuckle and with that, the moment is already gone.

You return to the party and while Harry gets sucked into an epic beerpong game, you join Sandra in the living room, who eyes you with a curious look, but you just shake your head.

“Don’t even ask,” you mumble and grabbing her drink from her hand you take a big swig from it, hoping the alcohol might help you with your anxious thoughts.

An hour later you feel the buzz, but you’re not at all drunk, just a little… braver than usually. You’ve moved to the kitchen with Sandra and a few girls, you’re sitting on the counter, nursing another drink as you listen to one of the girls rage about her asshole ex. Glancing out of the kitchen your eyes find Harry standing in the living room and for your surprise he was already watching you. You catch his smile, his focus completely on you when the guys are talking to him in his little circle, but he doesn’t seem to care. His gaze brings the heat back into your body, he can make you go nuts with just a look and you want to hate him for that, but you can’t. There’s nothing you hate about this guy.

“Stop eyefucking your man and just… fuck him for real” Sandra chuckles leaning closer to you, so only you can hear her words.

“Sandra!” you gasp, smacking her in the boob knowing well she hates it when you do that. She just cackles, returning to the discussion with the girls.

Soon enough, you see Harry moving towards your little group, creeping his way into the kitchen, stopping right beside you, leaning on one arm, his hand placed dangerously close to your thigh on the counter.

“Hi,” he smiles with his rosy cheeks, he surely has drunk some as well, but he doesn’t seem drunk either.

“Hi,” you breathe out, feeling flustered by his closeness again, a smile stretching across your face as he keeps eyeing you grinning. “What?”

“Have I told you how cute your smile is?” he asks and now you’re sure you’ve turned into a tomato.

“No,” you mumble shyly and almost gasp when his hand moves from the counter to your thighs as if it was the most natural thing, but it sends a shiver down your spine.

“Well, it is cute,” he chuckles, before turning his attention at the conversation in the little circle, but his hand remains still on your thigh.

From there, the situation escalates pretty easily. All it takes him to get between your thighs is to reach for one of the drinks on the counter next to you, his hand still resting on your thigh, and as he is done with the drink, he places it to the counter, his other hand coming to your other thigh, now standing facing you between your legs. Before you could say anything, he pulls on you a little, so you press up against him, your hands instantly coming to grab onto his shoulders to steady yourself in the movement.

“Hi again,” he smirks with glistening eyes.

“You didn’t go anywhere,” you chuckle quietly, your fingers dancing up to the back of his neck, playing with his curls.

“I know, but it made you smile and that’s what I wanted,” he smirks, so proud of himself. He licks his lips and you catch his gaze wandering down to yours, instantly making you nervous as you think back at the failed conversation you had with him not so long ago. This feels like a moment that could head into a direction you are dying for, but without the talk, you’re not sure if you should take the risky step.

Good thing that Harry is not shying out of it. Pressing forward his forehead meets yours, noses muzzling together as his lips linger so close to yours. You suck on your breath, arms curling around his neck as you wait for him to move the last millimeters between the two of you, and seeing that you are not pulling back, Harry makes the final move.

His lips move perfectly against yours, so warm and welcoming, soft and intoxicating, kissing him feels like a gift from above. He is taking his time with you, tasting and savoring you and you’re definitely not complaining. You could spend the rest of your life kissing him and you’d be fine with it.

One of his hands stays on your thigh, keeping a firm grip on it while the other one moves up to cup your cheek as you angle your head to reach him perfectly. He licks into your mouth without warning and you almost let out a moan at the sensation, but you’re just too busy returning his kisses.

You have absolutely no idea how long you stay like that, kissing and touching each other, but when he pulls back, you can’t help the stupid grin on your love drunk face. Harry’s expression kind of mirrors yours as he pecks your swollen lips once more before getting back to his previous position, his hand never leaving your thigh and you hug his strong, tattooed arm, needing to touch him in any kind of way as the two of you reenter the discussion that never stopped. Sandra gives you a wide-eyed stare and you just bite into your bottom lip, turning into a giggly teenage girl all of a sudden.

For just a few minutes you are absolutely convinced the kiss was real, but that’s all you got. As you look into the living room you catch Naomi’s burning stare and it tells you right away she witnessed the whole scene and to make it even worse, Oliver was standing not too far, glaring at you firmly and they make you think.

What if Harry saw them near and kissed you just to mess with them? What if it was all just part of the act? You should have pressed more earlier and have that damned talk with him, how are you supposed to ask now if he meant it or not?!

The more you think about it, the more painful it becomes and the little evil voice in your head convinces you that he didn’t mean it. It’s not like you want to believe it, but you can’t ignore the possibility that slowly grows into reality in your clouded mind.

You lose both Harry and Sandra at one point after going to the bathroom and though you know they are somewhere around, you feel like you can’t stay any longer at the party. Before anyone could stop you, you sneak out of the house and head back to the dorm, hoping that a good night sleep would get your head straight.

Harry tries to call you, but you ignore them all, heading straight to bed when you arrive. You feel guilty for leaving without a word but there’s just too much going on in your head, you need time to process and figure out what to do.

You’re still up when Sandra arrives back but you pretend to be asleep, not feeling like dealing with her investigating questions about the kiss and why you left so suddenly. It takes over an hour for you to finally fall asleep and escape your buzzing thoughts.

Waking up you see no sign of Sandra and you remember she mentioned that her brother is visiting town so they might spend the day together. Amazing opportunity to bury yourself into your deep loneliness and try to figure out what to do.

Harry has been nonstop texting you, asking if you even made it back to the dorm safely and you just shoot him one message to let him know you’re still alive and then ignore him again. Thinking back at the kiss last night your heart flutters every time, you can still feel the touch of his lips, the way his hand cupped your cheeks, it’s driving you crazy. But then you remember seeing Naomi’s and Oliver’s face and you’re convinced Harry saw them too and you always get to the same conclusion: the kiss was just part of the act.

You barely leave the bed the whole day, lying under your covers and watching Netflix until your mind feels numb enough to stop torturing you with your thoughts. And then, there’s a knock on the door. You freeze, knowing well that whoever is on the other side, you don’t want to see them.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there, I heard you watching The Vampire Diaries,” Oliver’s voice calls out from outside and you let out a shaky breath.

Dragging yourself out of the bed you open the door and stare back at him with a blank expression.

“What do you want?” you simply question.

“I broke up with Lexi,” he answers and your eyebrows shoot up. Without asking for permission he pushes his way into the room, stopping in the middle with his hands on his hips. “Last night, I broke up with her.”

“I uhh—I’m sorry, I guess, but why? She was so sweet.”

“I miss you, Y/N,” he blurts out and your shock just raises. Did he just admit to breaking up with his girlfriend because of you?!

“What?”

“Lexi is a nice girl, but I miss you, I miss what we had.”

“And what is that supposed to be?” you ask with a bitter chuckle as you fold your arms on your chest. “You miss fucking me whenever it’s convenient for you? Because I certainly don’t miss that.”

“We both know it was more than that, Y/N,” he smiles warmly, but it makes your stomach churn. Nothing about that smile is friendly or nice, he is trying to manipulate you like so many times before, but it’s not working now. He lost his power over you.

“It wasn’t. You were using me, Oliver.”

“That’s not what it was. We were having fun!”

“I wasn’t! I had feelings for you and you used them for your benefit!” you snap at him, not in the mood to play by his rules any longer. You’ll not let him bring you down again. “A friend doesn’t do that.”

“You could have spoken up against it, but I didn’t hear you complaining,” he retorts and it feels like a slap across your face. “I know you miss it too, Y/N. You don’t have to act like you are into Harry, I can see through you.”

“Oh really?” you snort, finding his words rather comedic. He knows or sees absolutely nothing and he just proved it. “Tell me then what you see!”

“I see that you’ve been trying to make me jealous and I’m gonna give it to you, it was successful.”

“Amazing, only problem is that I never wanted to make you jealous. My feelings for Harry are more real than the ones I had for you and I would really like it if you just left right now.”

Grabbing the doorknob you hold it open for him, wanting nothing more than to get rid of him for once and for all. You’ve had enough of his toxic, manipulating ass for a lifetime.

“Are you really kicking me out and just gonna choose him over me?” he huffs in disbelief and you can tell you’ve hurt his ego pretty badly.

“I’m choosing myself and doing what’s best for me. Now leave,” you demand and he finally moves. Walking past you he stops and looks down at you one more time.

“You’re a fucking waste of time,” he sneers before walking out and you need every ounce of power in you not to go after him and punch him in his arrogant face. How could you ever consider him even a friend, let along sleep with him?! He is the most disgusting and degrading asshole you’ve ever seen and you’ll work on forgetting about his whole existence for the rest of your life.

You shut the door behind him and leaning your back against it you slide down to the floor, feeling your chest tightening at the intensity of what just happened. You lost the person you loved the most just weeks ago and realized that he was never who you thought him to be.

You feel like crying for a little, but the tears never come. Instead, a soft sense of relief washes over you, like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders, finally setting you free. One less thing to worry about.

As you push yourself up from the floor you hear fractions of a heated conversation outside and when you recognize both voices, your heart stops beating for a moment. Opening the door you hear the conversation between Oliver and Harry now fully clear.

“Stop fucking acting like you are the center of her world, Styles. She has no fucking idea what she wants,” Oliver snaps at Harry, clearly upset about something he said earlier.

“No one thinks that but you! Stop harassing her like a fucking psycho!” Harry fights back and your lips part at how he stands up for you.

“You’re the one harassing her! Don’t think for a moment you have a chance with her, she wants me, not you! You’ll never get into her pants like I did—“

Just when you’re about to barge out of the room to end whatever parade they are having, Oliver’s groan fills the hallway and as you step out, you see him fall to the ground after Harry’s has punched him right in the face.

“What the fuck?!” you snap in shock and they both turn to look at you in the middle of their fight.

“Your fucking boyfriend punched me for no reason!” Oliver spats, pushing himself up, holding a hand to his jaw that’s already turning red.

“Stop making yourself the victim, Oliver, no one buys it!” you groan at him as you step to Harry. He seems ashamed, even scared of your reaction about the fact that he just punched Oliver, but you are not gonna blame him. He did God’s work in this case.

“I can’t fucking believe you’re still taking his side!” Oliver snaps angrily. “You know what? You two deserve each other.”

“Shut up and leave!” you shout at him before grabbing Harry’s wrist and pulling him towards your room.

You hear Oliver mumbling something under his breath, but you couldn’t care less, shutting the door at him once again, this time with Harry in the room with you.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I just fucking lost my temper and—“ You wave him off, taking his hand in yours softly, taking a look at his knuckles.

“It’s fine,” you smile at him. “Does it hurt?” you ask, gently running your thumb over his reddened knuckles.

“No, it’s alright,” he murmurs, standing so close to you again. His green eyes search yours as his other hand reaches under your chin to lift your head. “You have been ignoring me since last night.”

“I just… had a lot of stuff to do,” you awkwardly answer clearing your throat.

“You sure it’s not because of what happened between us?”

“What? Of course not!” you huff. “I get it, you were just trying to make it convincing because Naomi and Oliver were both watching a-and so you just—“

“What?” Harry asks tilting his head to the side.

“I mean, that’s why you did it, right? I saw them after we—uhh after we you know, kissed.”

“Okay, I didn’t see them and that’s not why I did it,” he admits with a nervous chuckle as he rubs the back of his neck. “I thought we were on the same page, but apparently not. Y/N, nothing I did recently was because of Naomi or Oliver. If I’m being honest it hasn’t been about them for a while. I really like you and I know I should have talked to you first about it, because now it was all kind of confusing, but I wasn’t faking it. I meant everything I said and did.”

You stare back at him in awe, heart pounding against your chest as his words sink in. He wasn’t acting, the kiss was real and you’ve been acting like a lunatic since last night, completely ignoring him instead of just talking to him, you are such a dumbass!

“Really?” you breathe out, barely more than just a whisper.

“Yeah,” he chuckles softly. “And I kinda thought you feel the same way, but then I came here and ran into Oliver who told me you two just had a chat about… possibilities between you and him?”

The hurt is clear in his eyes and your hatred towards Oliver is not on maximum level. You can’t believe he tried to ruin it all one last time even after you told him you want nothing to do with him.

“That’s not what we talked about,” you shake your head. “He came here, told me he broke up with Lexi and that he misses me, but I told him that’s too bad because I don’t miss him and his stupid little games anymore.”

“Oh!”

“And he tried to convince me to choose him over you, but I already chose you, so he had no chance,” you add, a wide smile spreading across your face as you see him realize what you just said.

“What, does this mean…?” he questions with sparkling eyes as he starts inching closer to you.

“Last night, when Jake barged into your room, this is what I wanted to talk to you about. That I’m not really faking anything anymore, but we were rudely interrupted and then… you kissed me and I thought things were finally going right, but then I somehow convinced myself that it was just because you saw Naomi and Oliver around and tried to upset them.”

“Fuck them!” Harry laughs, his hands finally reaching to grab you by your waist as he pulls you against him. “I don’t care about them anymore. I just want to be with you, no faking, no acting, just… you and me.”

“That sounds… perfect,” you admit with a tired smile before he finally leans down and presses his lips against yours.

“I have a warning for you, Y/N,” he mumbles between kisses, his lips moving against yours.

“Yeah? What’s that?” you hum, melting into him.

“I will not stop kissing you. It’s my new favorite thing,” he giggles, hands pulling you even tighter to him.

“Oh, how upsetting!” you chuckle without a care in the world before the two of you fall to your bed, a mess of kisses and giggles, but not an ounce of faking.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles au #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #fratboy!harry #fake dating au #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff

1K notes · View notes

idy-ll-ique · 2 years

Text

backfired

pairing: sam wilson x f!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: suggestive language towards the end but no actual smut

requested: nope

summary: give me their names, i'm about to beat every single one of them up and you cannot stop me.

author's note: hiya peeps! missed writing about anthony 'make daddy a sandwich' mackie so here y'all go. enjoy!

masterlist

---

"a gallon of—"

"hi there!"

sam whirled around to see a young woman standing there, smiling at him

"hello," he replied politely, giving her a small smile in return

"i can't believe i'm talking to captain america!"

sam glanced at the aisle behind him and turned back to the lady

"d-do you want an autograph or something, because—"

she laughed pretentiously and sam had to keep himself from cringing

"no! i just want to talk! are you single?"

of course she does

the way the lady's face dropped was comical

"i, uh," sam stammered, looking down at his phone, "i am not, actually, single, i have a gorgeous gorgeous fiancée—"

"fiancée? i never knew you were engaged..."

"no one does," he rolled his eyes, "'cause i proposed to my gorgeous gorgeous girlfriend just a few days ago. now if you will excuse me, i have some milk to buy."

he didn't want to be so rude, but she left him no choice

quickly grabbing the carton of milk he pushed his trolley ahead, running towards the cashier

after paying for everything, he bagged the groceries and rushed out of the store, panting

"it's usually rogers and barnes who get hit on," he muttered to himself, "for good reason, but damn..."

as if right on cue, his phone rang and he looked down to see bucky's name

"hey barnes."

"hey wilson. you free tonight? whatcha doing?"

"not free, i promised y/n i'll help her make dinner."

"damn," bucky sighed on the other end

"man, you'll never guess what happened with me right now!"

sam ended up telling him everything, and bucky laughed

it was just that usually, y/n was with him at all times

it wasn't like sam never got hit on; he was a wonderful man, who wouldn't try to get his number?

they'd been going out for several years

and sam was huge on pda

"are you serious? she didn't see the ring or anything?!"

"she might've chosen to ignore it," sam sighed, "anyway, i'll see you later."

y/n looked up when the doorbell rang

sam ended the call and got into his car, keeping the groceries in the backseat

---

"hi honey, welcome back," she smiled as sam walked in, immediately wrapping his arm around her before leaning in to give her a sweet kiss

"hi baby, i brought everything you asked for."

he handed the bag to her, following her into the kitchen

but as he sat on the kitchen island watching her unpack, he smirked to himself

"do you know what happened when i went out right now?"

she glanced at him, smiling

"what happened?"

"this woman was flirting with me, like she asked for my number and shit..."

y/n froze for a moment but recovered fast, a smirk blooming on her face

"how nice, was she pretty?"

sam was about to reply when he realised what she'd just said

"did— wait, what?"

"i asked, was the woman pretty?"

"you don't care that someone flirted with me?! y/n, baby, i said flirted."

she laughed

"i heard you the first time, sam!"

"then why aren't you jealous or something?! i thought you'd be jealous, that would have been so cute! i would convince you that you're the only one for me, i'll hold you at night to show my undying love—"

"you can do that without me being jealous, you know."

"i know, but it's so much more fun that way... why aren't you jealous?"

"one woman flirted with you, sam," she spoke, finally turning her whole attention to him

"what's that supposed to mean?"

she rubbed the back of her neck, shrugging

sam kept staring at her, jaw dropped in shock, his eyes wide

"i always have a bunch of guys hit on me when i go out, but you don't see me trying to make you jealous, do you?"

"a— a bunch, every time?"

"yeah. it's not a big deal, i never flirt back because i have you. you will always come out on top for me, baby."

walking around the kitchen island, she quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek

but sam was paralyzed

a whole bunch

every single time she left the house

it was like the men had no respect for him

instead of being successful in making her jealous, something started twisting in sam's gut

"h-how long has this been happening?"

"i don't know, like probably since we started going out."

damn it

"i want all their names," he breathed out, "every single person who's ever made a move on you, i'm going to kick their ass and you cannot stop me—"

years

"sam!" y/n laughed as the man ran his hands over his head in frustration

"baby, you can't keep these things from me!" he whined

"i'm so sorry, honey, but i didn't think it would mean so much to you..."

y/n frowned a little and he turned his seat to face her

"it does! you're mine! don't people know that?! we've been going out for years! how do they not know yet?! i just— fucking damn it, y/n!"

without a word, she sat on his lap and held his face in her hands, a soft smile on her face

"sam, listen to me. i love you. you know i do. i've loved you for so many years, hell, we're about to get married! don't be so bothered, baby, i don't like seeing you like this. you know those people that hit on me don't mean shit to me. you mean the world. now don't be pouty, hm?"

sam sighed, finally letting go of his anger

"i love you too, y/n, i love you so much," he smiled, bringing her in for a kiss

but as they sat there making out, y/n felt sam hardening under her

smirking, she gently rolled her hips over his and he groaned, pulling her closer

"fuck, baby, how about a quick snack before dinner?"

they had dinner a little late that day

"of course, daddy."

...

all for a good cause, though ;)

---

a/n: thanks for reading, leave a like if you enjoyed!

#sam wilson x reader #sam wilson x y/n #sam wilson x you #sam wilson x female reader #sam wilson fluff #sam wilson smut #sam wilson oneshot #sam wilson headcanon #falcon #captain america #anthony mackie characters #disney #mcu #marvel #avengers #fanfic #writing #writeblr

52 notes · View notes

maximons · 3 years

Text

All Is Lost

Summary: Zombies have taken over the world, humanity on the edge of extinction. All hope was lost. Despite that, Wanda couldn’t seem to let go of Y/n, who had fallen victim to the plague herself.

Word Count: 2,263

Genre: Angst

Requested?: No

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, death, cannibalism, suicide, mentions of blood. Spoilers for Ep. 5 of What If...?

A/N: I know, I know, I’m gonna get into the stuff I promised soon. But for now, the Zombies episode inspired me and this came out. If you haven’t seen the episode yet, go watch it. Its amazing and depressing. Also this is DARK guys, probably the darkest thing I’ve ever written, so...Happy Reading!

The Zombie apocalypse was always something everyone joked about, but never something that anyone could actually predict.

Everything happened so quickly, Wanda could barely keep up. It’s hard to believe that everything was so normal only two weeks ago. Now, she was locked away with Vision in an abandoned military base in New Jersey. Desperate to survive for as long as possible while Vision worked on a cure.

Some of his experiments had been a success, most notably Scott Lang who he was able to revert back from his zombified state. However, the man was now only a severed head.

Despite the success, Vision was less than optimistic. For one, Scott was one of the first infected. While the cure worked on him, the android theorized that the disease has mutated greatly since then, and it was likely impossible to cure everyone. And even if he could, the technology to do so is beyond human comprehension and therefore doesn’t exist.

Vision might have all but given up hope, but Wanda didn’t. She couldn’t. She refused to give up on you.

Wanda and you have been best friends for as long as Wanda had been an Avenger. You were already a member of the team and greeted her with an open mind and open arms, despite all she had done. You had fire powers, and while your powers weren’t identical to Wanda’s, you still offered some basic tips and tricks to keep such explosive powers at bay.

It wasn’t a surprise that she fell in love with you.

But her stupid fear had to get in the way, and when you came to confess your own feelings for her, she panicked and rejected you. You were so heartbroken, Wanda didn’t need to read your mind to know that.

And it kills her everyday knowing that that was the last interaction she had with you. The last one with you as yourself anyway.

All that remained now was the flesh hungry, blood thirsty monster that wore your, now rotting, skin.

This wasn’t you, she knows that. She looked into your mind and saw no trace of the woman you once were, the one she loved with all her heart. She couldn’t feel you, you were gone.

Despite this, Wanda couldn’t let you go. She couldn’t handle losing you entirely. She already lost almost everyone.

She managed to convince Vision to keep you in the base for testing. You were locked behind a large steel door, with only a window to see you through. But you were here, and that’s all Wanda cared about.

The cure wasn’t working for you. Your powers caused it to incinerate when it entered your system, proving it to be ineffective. Still, she refused to give up.

Vision thought it best to terminate you after the failed tests, but Wanda begged him not to. Knowing he couldn’t overpower her, and sensing his friend’s distress with anything that comes to you, he agreed. As long as Wanda had it under control.

She doubted he knew that she was luring innocent survivors into the base so you could feed on them, but she did what she had to do.

Wanda spent most of her days sitting outside of your cell. The first few days, you were ravenous. Banging on the walls and trying to burn them down, growling and screeching with the inhuman noise that took over your vocal chords, but you didn’t manage to break free. After a while, it seemed you have given up, and just sat in place. Only moving when Wanda opened the cell and let some of your ‘food’ in.

There were times where Wanda thought that maybe, just maybe, the cure was working more than they thought. You seemed to have recognized her, your facial expressions formed into ones that she had recognized and missed dearly. But that hope quickly died when she would peek into your head and still sense nothing.

“Hey, Y/n.” Wanda walked up to outside your cell and sat cross-legged like she did everyday. Your head rose, staring at her with your now glowing yellow eyes. “Still no progress on the cure, but don’t worry, I’m not giving up yet.” You offered no response, not that she expected one. “It’s hard. It’s only getting worse out there...” She sighed as she trailed off. She raised her hand to the glass, like she always did. “I’m going to figure it out...we’re gonna get you back to normal, and I’m going to tell you every day how much I love you. I miss you so much, but...we’re almost there. I can feel it...” Wanda’s voice started choking up, as tears ran down her face. “We deserve our happy ending.”

Her hand was still pressed against the glass as she finished her speech. She was about to lower it, but then something unexpected happened. You stared at her hand curiously, beginning to raise your own. Wanda watched, smile forming on her face as your arm made it’s way to the glass.

“Wanda! Please come here, we have a situation.” You had almost pressed your hand against Wanda’s, when Vision’s voice interrupted. Your attention turned to the direction it came from and you let out a growl, clearly angry at the interruption. Wanda sighed in disappointment, but she tried not to let it take over. You still showed massive improvement, something worth reporting back to Vision. “It’s okay.” She soothed you. “I’m going to go see what he wants then I’ll be right back, okay? I know you’re hungry, I’ll get you some food too.” You didn’t offer a response as she walked off.

“Vis! I have to tell you-” Wanda began as she walked into the main room, but cut herself off at the new faces. She didn’t recognize the bald woman with the spear or the wimpy looking man in a workers uniform, but she was familiar with Peter. What surprised her most though, was Bruce Banner. A man she hasn’t seen in over three years. “What is going on?”

“I ran into them outside the premises. Apparently word has gotten out about the cure.” Vision answered before turning his attention back to the guests. “As I told you, I am afraid we cannot help you. The cure seems to be a moot point.”

“Well, what about-” Peter began, but he was interrupted by a new voice.

“For something you have no hope for, you sure don’t have a problem bringing in new test subjects.” Wanda recognized Bucky Barnes’ voice. She turned around, and her eyes widened as she saw King T’challa on his arm, struggling to stand on his one remaining leg.

Shit.

“My king! We thought you dead.” The bald woman exclaimed in relief and surprise.

“Your highness. I was not aware you were in the base.” Vision said, confused on how that got by him. It didn’t take him long to figure out why. “Wanda...”

“I’m sorry.” Wanda whispered, knowing she was caught. “The cure wasn’t working on Y/n, and in order to keep her at bay, I had to feed her.”

“So you fed her our King?” A spear was raised to her throat, threateningly.

“It was nothing personal, I promise. I have her under control and the cure is starting to work, I know it. We just need a little more time!”

“Why not just kill her? You lured innocent people to their deaths just for her when there a couple million more Zombies out there that you could use for testing. Ones that have a chance of being cured.” The whole room went quiet after Bucky said that.

“Uh oh. Shouldn’t have said that.” Wanda heard Scott say, but she was too busy glaring at Bucky. Her eyes started to go red, but before she could do anything, she noticed the spear held to her throat begin to glow red and melt. The woman dropped the spear as it began to burn her hands.

“Did it just suddenly get like, super hot?” Peter asked as he began to fan himself.

“Oh no...” Wanda trailed off. She looked up to notice the steal walls that led to your cell begin to melt. “You’ve done it now...she hasn’t eaten in days.” Before anyone could respond, the steel doors melted completely. The man in the uniform was unfortunate enough to be standing in front of it, as a strong burst of flame shot out and incinerated him on the spot. Only a second later, you flew out the door, covered in flames as you hovered above everyone.

Wanda watched in horror as you began to fight everyone. They weren’t holding up very well, and that’s when Wanda finally realized what she had done. This wasn’t you, and if you were still here, you would hate to see your body be used to attack and kill others.

“Vision! Get us out of here!” She heard Bruce yell, and Vision shot a blast towards the wall, blowing it up and letting everyone out. Wanda turned her focus back to you, you watched them starting to escape and you began to fly after them, but a red mist surrounded you before you could. You turned your head, starting to growl, but stopped when you saw it was Wanda.

“Y/n. Stop...” You tilted your head, still struggling to move as Wanda came closer. She took a chance and reached up, gently placing a hand on your face. “I am so sorry...you never deserved this...” Your face softened at the touch, beginning to show the signs of emotion that Wanda desperately held onto. However, it was clear now that it was too late.

You snapped out of it, as you managed to break free from Wanda’s hold. You opened your mouth wide, intent on biting and feeding on her, but something stopped you. You hesitated, and Wanda noticed. You settled for pushing her aside to the ground as you reignited yourself and flew out of the base.

Wanda picked herself up after a moment, intent on stopping you. She ran past Okoye’s body, charred and eaten, but she was sure there was little time until she turned. She ran faster to where you were, now facing off against Bucky. She sprinted further, about to take off and fly when she paused.

Vision was face down on the ground. She kneeled next to him, glowing red hand turning over his body, afraid of what she’ll see. Once he was turned, Wanda gasped at the sight. The mind stone was torn out of his head.

“Oh no...no, no, no...” She held his body, tears slowly building as she mourned the loss of her best friend. She had officially lost everything. “I am so sorry Vis...I’m going to make this right, I promise.”

She heard Bucky scream. She looked over to see you start to feed on him. She saw Bruce, Peter, Scott and T’challa in the distance, making their way to the jet. They were your next target.

No. Wanda wasn’t going to let that happen. It ends now.

She used her powers to propel herself forward, landing directly in your path. You growled at her yet again as she used her powers to hold you. “Y/n...please, stop.” You struggled to get out of the hold, but Wanda held on. “This isn’t you...you wouldn’t want this...I love you more than anything, and I’m so sorry...I hope one day, you’ll forgive me.”

Wanda used her powers to grab the gun laying by Bucky’s side. She held in to your head, ready to pull the trigger...but she couldn’t. She let out a scream of frustration and dropped her hold on both you and the gun. The gun fell to the ground, but you haven’t moved.

“I can’t do it...I...I’m not strong enough...” Wanda began crying, shutting her eyes and waited for you to finish her off. She failed everyone, no one deserved death more than her. She opened her eyes when nothing came. You stood, staring at her with a tilt of your head. The yellow of your eyes dimming as you stared.

“W....Wan...” You struggled to let out, but it was enough for Wanda to hear. She cried even harder. She was right, you were almost there...but it was too late now.

You took in your surroundings as best you could, you didn’t have a lot of awareness, but you knew enough to piece everything together. You saw the influx of zombies starting to enter to base. Everyone needed to get away. You turned back to Wanda, and you knew what you had to do. You felt the little control you had start to slip away.

You bent down and picked up the discarded gun. You shakily pointed it to your temple, the control slipping away faster and faster. “Love....you....I...sorry...” You managed to croak out. Before you could lose control completely, you pulled the trigger.

Wanda watched in horror as you shot yourself in the head. Pieces of your brain landing on her, your blood drenching her. She looked down to see your body, half your face still together, but you were gone. Truly gone.

She knelt down sobbing, as she held your body. After a moment she looked up to see the Hulk appear as the zombies began to overwhelm the base. She saw the jet take off, and she gave a weak smile. They got away. Wanda’s job was done. This is where her story ends. All was lost for her.

So when the zombies finally reached her, she didn’t fight back. Accepting her death with open arms.

Epilogue

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you

238 notes · View notes

ericspinkhair · 3 years

Text

dirty thoughts from a distance

pairing: dom!changmin x virgin!reader, best friends to lovers, college au!

synopsis: you masturbate while thinking of your best friend and he catches you moan out his name

word count: 3.8k

warnings: maybe slight angst, (getting caught) masturbating, mutual masturbation, sex in general ig

a/n: y'all are crazyy! it has barely been 19 days and I have already hit 100 followers🤧 thank you guys so much for your support and sending in requests!!! everytime I see leave me nice messages I feel so encouraged to keep on writing even though there is still a lot of room to improve and I am not always completely satisfied with what I create. I wish all of you a great day and hope that you stay happy and healthy!!

this chapter is especially dedicated to @bangcrispychannie and anon who requested this kind of scenario ❤️

masterlist + requests

for three years you wondered why you hadn't lost your virginity yet. it's not like you didn't have enough opportunities since you had been in two relationships so far, both lasted about five to seven months.

the feelings in your first relationship were been mostly one-sided however.

when a guy in your biology class named Minho confessed his crush for you, you thought that the only logical next step was to become a couple. you were quite flattered that he had taken such an interest in you and believed and hoped you would eventually develop feelings for him as well. the problem was you didn't. after not being able to be emotionally let alone physically intimate with him for a few months into your relationship, he finally confronted you and you confessed that you just couldn't bring yourself to see him that way. your relationship came to an end just before becoming a senior in high school.

in your last year, you got close with Seonghwa. you were seat neighbors in your english class and you'd chat all the time. he was perfectly sweet, smart and funny and you instantly got along just fine. you developed an interest in him and he seemed to feel the same way. he asked you out with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and some chocolate and you agreed to being his girlfriend without much thought. you caught yourself falling in love with this boy and didn't shy away from physical affection such as kissing and holding hands. you were convinced you were ready to give yourself to him during prom night but when it came to it you chickened out. a couple of hours before, you had found out that your best friend changmin had broken up with his girlfriend of six months.

for a long time you hadn't been able to decipher why you hadn't slept with Seonghwa then. as time passed, the unpleasant answer became clearer and clearer: you had brought up your hopes.

you had been best friends with changmin basically since you started elementary school. on the first day, he scared you with a stupid horror mask he had sneaked in from home and made you cry. he felt so guilty and was determined to make it up to you and to become friends. you had been inseparable ever since.

when he got his first girlfriend in junior year you were devastated. you convinced yourself that the reason for that was that you had been scared he was going to replace you as his best friend but in reality you had felt jealousy.

you were suppressing your feelings because if you confessed, things might become awkward. there was no way changmin could ever like you the same way.

all of this became more difficult as you moved in together for college. you were sharing an apartment now and every day, it became harder to avoid your growing and troublesome feelings. your heart would beat faster whenever he walked around shirtless (which was most of the time) and you decided to try to ignore him. this was especially difficult since you wanted to appreciate his physique. when had he become this handsome? changmin had been dancing all his life so he had always been fit but now that he was majoring in it and training most of the time, his body had developed and he had become super toned and his abs were more prominent.

he'd often make his way into your dreams and you'd let him do inappropriate things with you. you'd wake up wet and needy and even more confused. you were ashamed of seeing him this way. this was not how one normally thought about their best friend.

it was a wednesday morning and you were eating breakfast when changmin joined you in the kitchen. he flashed you a big smile, making his pretty dimples appear which you didn't see as you did not look at him.

'good morning, y/n!' he greeted you in a good mood. you just grunted in response, intensely staring at the cereal swimming in your bowl.

the fact that you couldn't even spare him a glance hurt changmin but he tried to not let it show. he wanted to get you to talk to him.

'do you want to watch a movie and play some board games today after class?' he proposed. you hadn't spent a lot of time together ever since you had become aware of your feelings.

'I have an essay due tomorrow,' you quickly made up as an excuse. the corners of changmin's mouth twitched but you didn't notice as you were too preoccupied with doing anything that didn't include looking at him.

'then maybe on the weekend. or next-' 'I'll be busy,' you interjected. 'I have lots to do.' you stressed the lots to emphasize there was absolutely no way you would be able to hang out with him any time soon.

'umm… okay. I'll be going to class.' he told you dejected. your heart sank but you didn't respond. he was wondering whether he had done anything to make you upset but he couldn't wrap his mind around it. this had been going on for a while and he was starting to become desperate.

when you first got the apartment you spent every free minute of the day together, happy that you finally moved out and could be with each other 24/7, but then you stopped talking to him completely out of nowhere. from one day to the other, you would avoid leaving your room when he was outside and barely talked to him anymore. at first, changmin thought you were just stressed and that you'd eventually warm up again when exam season came to an end but a few months had passed and, if anything, the situation was even worse than before.

you were watching the time and after ten minutes you decided to leave for classes as well. you had started doing this so you couldn't possibly catch up to him and risk having a conversation.

'hey, y/n, what's up!' your friend chanhee hugged you when you arrived on campus. you were both majoring in fashion design and were getting along on well since the beginning of the first semester.

you sighed exasperatedly. 'changmin's up.' you puffed your cheeks and pouted. chanhee nodded knowingly. he was the only person who was aware of your little secret and that was only because you had accidentally drunk confessed the whole story to him at your first college party.

'you know maybe you should tell him. this whole thing is clearly not making you happy and I saw changmin walk by a few minutes ago. if I had to guess I'd say he was in an even worse mood than you. someone accidentally ran into him and he pushed them hard and called them names. it's not like him to overreact like this. he's usually super collected. I think you finally managed to break his spirit,' chanhee reported to you.

this had never been what you intended. why did everything have to be so difficult? you didn't want to be the cause of your best friend's unhappiness.

'he must feel like I despise him. but I cannot confess to him, that would be the end of our friendship!' you were constantly torn apart by this dilemma.

'well, if you're not gonna act on your feelings, maybe try to move on? find something casual or serious with someone new? then you'd forget all about changmin and you'd be able to go back to acting normal around him' he suggested.

chanhee's advice didn't sound too bad. if you couldn't get with changmin then you had to de-crush yourself and find somebody different to focus your emotional energy on. but on who?

'is there anyone you could think of?' you ask chanhee. he had great taste in practically everything so you highly valued his opinion.

'hmm, you could potentially try younghoon hyung? I've seen him eyeing you for weeks now and he even told me thinks your gorgeous.' he wiggled his eyebrows teasingly.

younghoon was a pretty art student, whom chanhee knew from high school. you didn't talk to him often, mostly at parties and he wasn't exactly your type but you tried to remember shouldn't judge him by his first impression when you haven't even got to know him.

chanhee pulled out his phone and soon you felt yours vibrate in your back pocket. you looked at him questioningly.

'I sent you his number in case you're interested,' he explained proudly. he put his hand on your shoulder and you could see the concern in his eyes. 'you really need to get over changmin if don't want to confess,' he insisted firmly.

so you decided to text younghoon during class. he was very polite and you thought he was cute as he seemed excited to talk to you. you agreed to hang out sometime to get to know each other and decided to meet up friday for dinner.

after the end of your classes, you walked home to warm up yesterday's leftovers. to your dismay, changmin had also decided to come home for once. since you began acting all weird and refused to eat with him, he usually spent lunch time with his dance mates as they had practice after anyway. why had he decided to come here today? your question was answered when he ran up to you, smiling from ear to ear and you noticed he was hiding something behind his back.

'you know how there is a blackpink concert downtown on friday? guess what!' he held up two tickets. surely you would at least agree to spend time with him if it meant being able to see your favorite group, right?

he must have gone through so much trouble to get tickets for you and since blackpink were your favorite music artists you were actually contemplating on going but then you remembered you had made plans.

'I can't. I'm going out with younghoon friday night.'

'kim younghoon?' he raised an eyebrow skeptically.

'why would you to be spending time together? I didn't know he was even talking to you,' he questioned you. anger was boiling inside of you.

'maybe it's because you don't know everything about me,' you snapped at him. you were aware that you were being harsh but somehow his words hurt you. why did he doubt you? did he think you weren't able to get with someone as awesome and popular as younghoon? did he not consider you pretty enough?

the microwave beeped, indicating your food was ready, making you snap out of your thoughts.

'y/n, I swear, that's not what I meant.' he stepped directly in front of you so you were forced to look at him. you stared deep into his pleading eyes as you closed the microwave door, turned your back to him, stomped to your room and slammed the door shut, leaving changmin behind in the kitchen.

your whole body was tense as you listened closely to any sounds coming from outside and felt relieved when you heard the front door close. feeling sad and depressed always made you feel tired so you decided to take a nap to forget about all the negative feelings.

when you woke up you were horny af. you had a dream about changmin taking you on the kitchen counter and now your panties were completely soaked with your arousal.

desperate, you pulled them down and tossed them somewhere to the side. it didn't matter. you needed relief now.

you closed your eyes as you slowly started rubbing your clit, imagining it was changmin's slender fingers touching you instead. your imagination was running wild and you sped up the tempo.

eventually, you plunged your middle finger and then your index finger inside you, pretending that changmin was stretching your walls with his cock.

you moaned loudly and picked up the pace, chasing your high. oh, how much you wished he was the one making you come.

'yes?' you opened your eyes and gasped loudly as you saw changmin watching you from the doorway. you hecticly pulled up your blankets to your chest to cover your naked lower body. for how fucking long had he been standing there?

'oh fuck, changmin...' you cursed out loud.

to your surpise he laughed. 'oh, is this why you have been so distant? were you embarrassed about imagining doing dirty things with me?' your cheeks were burning red and you were unable to move a muscle.

'you know, if you had told me you were thinking of me while doing it then I could've helped you out already. that would have spared both of us a lot of frustration.' he stepped into the room and pulled the sheets away, his hungry eyes fixed on your desperately dripping pussy. you tried to hide it with your hands.

'n-no… what are you saying? aren't we best friends? ' you couldn't comprehend what was happening right now. the way he was acting was so unexpected that you didn't know how to react or what to say. he brushed his hand over your burning cheeks. his eyes were conveying disparity.

'but what if I told you I don't care? that I like you? that I see you as more than just my best friend?'

'wait, you like me?' you couldn't believe your ears. was he actually reciprocating your feelings?

he groaned in exasperation. 'y/n, why did you think I ended things with my ex out of the blue?' you shrugged your shoulders as you weren't sure. you had thought it was because she had lost interest in him, at least that's what changmin had told you back then.

'because I realized I was in love you, you dumbass. how could I be together with someone if I had feelings for someone else?'

'I actually ruined my chances of having sex with seonghwa for the first time for the same reason. it was just after I had found out about the breakup,' you confessed, relieved that you were finally beginning to make sense of everything.

he climbed onto the mattress and positioned his knees next to your closed legs, leaning his hands on the wall behind you so that he was hovering above you.

'I'm sorry that you lost that opportunity. let me make it up to you,' he whispered with his face mere inches from yours and then kissed you. losing all self-restraint, you immediately pulled his body closer so that he was straddling you. after all these months filled with sexual frustration and just frustration in general, you were desperate for his touch. your hands wandered under his dance shirt and you were finally able to touch those abs you had been secretly admiring for so long.

you broke the kiss to take off both of your shirts and changmin skillfully unclasped your bra.

while his tongue was exploring the insides of your mouth, his hands were kneading your breasts, occasionally rubbing and pinching your hardened nipples. you felt his hard dick press against your lower abdomen as he grinded himself into you to get friction.

after having dreamt about this moment for so long, you felt impatient. this was too good to be true and you were scared that if you didn't act quick, your bubble would bust.

without thinking twice about it, you pulled down the hem of his sweatpants and boxers just far enough so you could easily reach inside and whip out his dick. you stopped for a moment to admire his length. it looked even better than you had ever imagined in any of your wildest dreams.

he sat upright, leaning on the wall behind you, while you stroked his cock. he was sensitive to your touch and not shy to show you how well you were doing by responding with moans.

'fuck, y/n. you're doing amazing.' his praise made you eager to show him just how good you could make him feel. your lack of experience was barely noticeable as the adrenaline flowing through your veins was guiding you.

you tapped his thighs to signalize him to inch closer. that way your mouth had easier access to his dick. you hesitantly licked up his length and were fascinated by how he tasted. wanting to have more of it, you swirl your tongue around his pink tip. changmin eventually became impatient and forced more of his dick inside your mouth so you tried to take as much of him as you could but your gag reflex made it difficult for you. instead, you worked your hands where your mouth couldn't do its job.

not wanting you to feel neglected, changmin reached behind him to stimulate your clit. he skillfully started rubbing all the right places and you moaned around him, sending vibrations through his cock.

he couldn't take this stimulation for much longer before he had to force himself to pull out of your mouth.

'wow, you almost made me come there.' he panted heavily. 'but I want to be inside you first.' you got lost in his touch as he placed a long kiss on your lips but a sudden thought brought you back to reality.

'wait, I don't have a condom,' you informed him embarrassed. you hadn't planned to lose your virginity any time soon so you hadn't bought any. did that mean the end of this wonderful dream?

but changmin laughed light heartedly. 'no need to worry. hold up, let me get some from my room.' you relaxed again as he disappeared and came back shortly with a condom wrapper in his hand.

you were prepared for him to start right away and took a deep breath in preparation but he didn't do anything.

'I don't think it's a good idea to start yet since I haven't even prepared you. the last thing I would want to do is hurt you so just lay back.'

he positioned your legs over his shoulders so your hips were hovering in the air. you felt his warm breath against your vagina before he drove his tongue inside you, seeing for himself how wet he had made you and tasting your arousal. you clasped your hands over your mouth to stop yourself from releasing any sounds.

'don't do that. I want to hear how good I make you feel,' changmin complained.

when he slid two fingers inside you, you couldn't hold it in anymore and let out some kind of aroused squeal. you felt self-conscious but it seemed like changmin was only more eager to please you.

at the same time, his tongue was abusing your swollen clit and it was impossible for you to hold back the curses that were spilling out of your mouth. the pleasure he was making you feel was a whole different sensation from anything else you've experienced before.

'more please, changmin!' you begged. you wanted more. you needed more. you needed him.

he carefully lowered your hips back down. 'are you sure you want this?' he asked you, waiting for you to clearly consent to having sex with him.

'I want you. you, and only you,' you reassured him and brought his face closer to kiss him. changmin's typical bright smile formed and you felt the butterflies in your stomach go crazy.

he positioned himself at your entrance, swiping his dick between your folds like a credit card to coat it with your juices.

you gripped his arms tightly as he pushed in. he slowly continued until all of him was buried deep inside you before stopping. the feeling of a whole penis inside of you was very different from your or changmin's fingers. it filled you up to the brim and was rubbing all the good spots. while it initially caused you a bit of discomfort, it wasn't overwhelming and it also felt good in a weird way.

when your walls finished adjusting to his length, he began to steadily move his dick in and out.

changmin intensely studied your face. he couldn't believe that after all those years you were finally close to being his. he wanted to savor every single expression you made while he was inside you.

you wrapped your legs around his torso, trying to push him deeper. he slammed his cock back inside you.

'you are mine,' he declared and started going harder and faster.

'I am yours,' you confirmed and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him in for a kiss.

because of the extensive foreplay and your own masturbation prior to this, it didn't take long until your walls were tightening around his dick and you felt an orgasm approaching.

driven wild by you clenching around his cock, he thrusted into you even faster. you rested your sweaty foreheads against each other as both of you almost came simultaneously.

changmin kissed the top of your head before he pulled out and threw away the used condom. you opened your arms and he let himself fall right into your embrace.

'I know this might be kind of weird to talk about right now but do you want to be my girlfriend?' Changmin asked you. he still wasn't too sure what all of this meant for your relationship and he desperately needed to know where your mind was at.

'after having liked you for all this time I'd be an idiot to say no.' 'you're an idiot anyway,' he teased. you slapped his arm.

'hey! I'm not the one who ignored you for a couple of months because my hormones are out of control.' you hid your face in the crook of his neck, too embarrassed face him.

'I'm really sorry for that. you just mean so much to me and I didn't want my feelings to get in the way of our friendship.' he stroked your hair.

'I do understand that. if I hadn't heard you moan my name today I wouldn't have acted on my feelings either. but all is good now, right?' 'right.' you smiled and placed a small kiss below his ear.

'there is still one thing you need to do,' changmin tried to remind you. you looked at him, puzzled.

'what do you mean?' 'younghoon,' he hinted. you immediately started looking for your phone. that date was definitely going to have to be cancelled. there was no need for you to find a distraction anymore since you had been granted your wish after all.

#ji changmin smut #ji changmin scenario #the boyz q smut #the boyz q scenario #the boyz changmin smut #the boyz changmin scenario #the boyz ji changmin smut #the boyz ji changmin scenario #the boyz smut #the boyz scenario #the boyz #ji changmin #the boyz changmin #the boyz q #kpop smut #kpop scenario #kpop #smut

488 notes · View notes