#i am in fact not fine!

[wulfhalls]

.

#rewatching the chester tribute concert because well its tradition and i love hurting myself #some of the worst moments for me personally even after 5 years: #mike fighting for his life trying to get thru roads unravelled especially the last section #mike harmonising with the clip of chester during new divide knowing itll be the last time #the entirety of numb with the fucking empty mic stand #mike fighting for his life trying to get thru the beginning of leave out all the rest #mike introducing/playing looking for an answer. IS THERE SUNSHINE WHERE U ARE THE WAY THERE WAS WHEN U WHERE HERE #i am in fact not fine! #also listened thru the whole post traumatic album for the first time since it dropped again and like. painpainpainpainnnnnnn #on a lighter note mgk was not horrible on papercut which is surprising to me every time i watch it #oli on crawling was muwah idc what anyone says he did fantastic TO ME #taka crushing somewhere i belong!!!! my best friend taka!!!!! #but this whole thing just showing how good chester truly was cause no one came even close at all #ANYWAYS. just had to type that out lol #linkin park

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[frodo-a-gogo]

Let us be brutally honest with ourselves and with eachother for a moment. If he weren't obese you motherfuckers would be capable of percieving evrart claires sexy sexy moral ambiguity and complex charms

#i am (lesbian) sipping him like a fine DESSERT WINE #my evidence by the way is very simple and very damning. joyce messier. there i said it. #if you guys can appreciate the fact that Joyce is a complex figure worthy of disgust yes but also worthy of empathy #despite being a venal coward facilitating acts of violence and slaughter of the organized working poor of martinaise in the name of capital #if you can understand that she is a dimensional figure while also being an embodiment of the moral apathy and cruelty if capital owners #but you cant look at evrart and see that he is (while deeply flawed and morally suspect) also a dimensional figure #on top of the fact that his motivations are eminently relatable and dare i say it baser #and his greatest failing imho is in failing to advocate for the interests of *all* the poor of martinaise #opting instead to marginalize the inhabitants of the fishing village in favor of a power grab in the interests of himself and his union #though this is imo a bit of a grey area morally. undeniably a wrong and bad thing to do but done in service of clairs political goals #to gather power to advocate for the working class against ultraliberal monoliths like wild pines and fascistic orgs like krenel #still super wrong but i can follow the moral arithmetic there tho i don't like it #but like my point is if u can see that joyce is evil and pathetic but still cool and sexy but you consider clair flatly distasteful #thats cus hes not conventionally attractive #cus he is *every bit* as dimensional and interesting as joyce and he is not nearly as politically shite even if hes interpersonally a jerk

[catominor]

A 1964 illustrated Satyricon, translated by William Burnaby and illustrated by Antonio Sotomayor

#fun fact ! i collect fine press books #i only have a couple classics ones but am excited to go on the hunt for more tbh #this one i got at brattle books in boston i believe #sadly this translation is. not my thing but i adore the illustrations

[essektheylyss]

I am now thinking about Essek as, essentially, Anna Ripley for the Ruby Vanguard, and it's genuinely horrific to imagine but it's not a real timeline so it's hilarious. It is so funny in concept. He's a glorified postdoc with no mandatory ethics trainings, no future, and nothing to lose. Also he just got handed the power of a thousand suns with absolutely no oversight and a mandate to "do your worst".

This has such extreme "horse loose in a hospital" energy. No one knows what Essek will do next, least of all Essek! He's never been in control of the power of a thousand suns before! He's as confused as you are!

#it would be DISASTROUS #I'm laughing so hard at this concept #the planet would be gone #essek is so funny because he is both SO intensely at the mercy of the narrative and the world #and also he could genuinely destroy exandria if he was left entirely to his own devices and bored #this is also true of fjord for the record but fjord is even LESS at the mercy of the narrative and world #he makes the narrative his bitch #but fortunately he is far too principled and sensible to actually get that far so exandria is safe from that fate. for now. #anyway I have such a terrible headache and the fact that this keeps making me laugh is nOT helping but it's fine #however I am going to go take some meds and lay facedown in the dark. #essek thelyss #critical role

[notmoreflippingelves]

Actually going insane over the implications of Jason asking Dick to be the Robin to his Batman in Battle for the Cowl.

Like I initially took it at the purely surface-level of Jason wanting a partner in the general sense. Which made sense, it's a huge responsibility and a lonely one so an assistant/sidekick/partner seems a no-brainer if you can get one.

But then I really thought about it, because Jason is not asking Dick to be his partner in the general sense; he's not even asking Dick to be his Nightwing. He's asking Dick to be his Robin.

And they both know exactly what Jason means: "Be the light to my darkness. Be the smile to my scowl. Be the hope to my fear. "

He's saying "Be 'Robin'; be the embodiment of Love and Justice and Goodness. Be the exceptional person that you have always been. Be the slightly-less exceptional person that I was when I wore your colors. Be the person that I was in the process of becoming and might have been (or might still be), if only Joker hadn't clipped my wings."

He's saying "I am prepared to become vengeance, become the Night. And I will go further than Bruce ever dared to, because it is what is needed. I will be the necessary evil. But you don't have to be. If Batman is Gotham's curse, Robin has always been its blessing. I will be the brutal punishment to our world, and I am asking you to be its incandescent gift."

He's saying, "Be for me, what we were for Him. Be my anchor, my comfort, my hope. Remind me what it's all for, why it's all worth it. And remind yourself as well."

He's saying "Be 'Robin' again--for both of our sakes."

#dick grayson #jason todd #battle for the cowl #jaydick #dickjay #kinda but also not kinda #batman #dcu #otp: be my robin #'we can rule together as just it always should've been with you as my guiding light and conscience' #is that not in essence; a sort of marriage proposal ? #well no but it's not NOT one either if you catch my drift #i should note that i haven't actually read bftc yet and i know it's considered controversial/bad #and considered ooc for pretty much everyone #so i am not even sure if I will like it #but i am still planning on reading it for the jaydick crumbs #and b/c i am using it and knightfall as the primary inspo for my krisnix au #apparently jason does ask tim to be his robin first and that's interesting as well #but honestly a little less powerful/interesting to me at least since jaytim just doesn't interest me as much as jaydick #and honestly i've looked at the panels and it seems a little more genuine when jason asks dick idk #more like 'last chance; i'll let you live if you join me' for tim vs. 'join me because this feels right' for dick #and honestly even with clumsy execution; just the narrative and emotional richness of this scene is still making me absolutely feral #this arc could be complete trash in any and every other way but if it gives me THEMES; i will forgive anything #it's the former english major occupational hazard #*apollo justice voice *: I'M FINE #(narrator voice: she was not in fact fine)

[crazy-maracuya]

Supergiant Odysseus, save me supergiant Odysseus...

#Haha so funny of supergiant to release the fact that odysseus is in the game (or maybe earlier idk I just got the leaks) while the #Underworld saga is freaking coming #IM FINE IM FINE IM TORALLY NOT GOING INSANE OR CRAZY OR ANYTHING I AM NORMAL AMMOUNTS OF FINE I AM NOT COMBUSTING #Odysseus #greek mythology #Supergiant #hades game #hades 2 #Haha #Underworld saga #Supergiant spoilers #hades spoilers #hades ii #Hades ii spoilers

[cometshift]

it's me and my extremely specific 'subspace saw zuka almost like a parental figure before zuka left blackrock' headcanon against the world

#phighting #phighting art #subspace phighting #zuka phighting #art #subspace #zuka #predisaster tag #though it's a very very baby subspace but you know #i have nothing to back this headcanon up by the way. other than the fact that i'm smart as fuck and right about everything ever #i could probably write a more in-depth post about them here on tumblr since there's not a strict character limit here unlike on twitter... #it would make me sound like an insane person. but i am an insane person in general so it's fine

[wisteriagoesvroom]

GOOD GRIEF 😭 OSCAR FOR MCLAREN X REISS.... CAN YOU GET YOUR FOOT OFF MY NECK

source: mclaren ig stories

#oscar piastri #twinklaren #op81 #reiss x mclaren #once again regretting that i live in the tropics and i will never use the sherpa fleece thing cus it's actually pretty fly #last picture makes me feel a bit feral actually #and the leather jacket i am so so ill #if nobody is writing fics about him in the jacket immediately.... #*thanos voice* fine. i will do it myself #we NEED a picture of oscar in pink shirt #preferably in some funky sunglasses too god #lissie mackintosh #and we are not even gonna TALK about the fact that it is captioned #oscar piastri. formula 1 driver #HOT?!?!?

[uncanny-tranny]

I think one of the most surprising parts of transition, specifically going on testosterone, is just how... normal it felt to me. When I was watching other people go on testosterone and describe how they felt, I anticipated that I'd feel the huge emotions, the spark, I guess. But I didn't. If anything, I went from being a neurotic mess to being... normal. Almost painfully normal. It's like I've gotten a cloth and dusted off this thing I call my body.

I honestly think it's interesting how natural I feel on testosterone. I never really thought I could feel this normal, but I do. It's like I can stand in a crowd and not feel like eyes are watching me, like ants crawling on a log.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #HAVING FEELINGS #like i watched this guy talk about how... almost explosive it feels for him on testosterone... #...and he was talking about it like 'RAAAAAGH FUCK I'M SUDDENLY FILLED WITH THE URGE TO PUNCH DRYWALL' #'ANGRY...HUNGRY' and i think that's completely fine. but it was weird when i didn't experience that #instead of being like... i guess hormonal??? i just feel like i can take a deep breath for once #(though i do relate to when he was like 'I NEED TO EAT EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE 🤬') #but yeah... i guess this is me just being fascinated at how the same exact hormone even at the same levels will feel and look so different #like to me that's magic. like the human body is the messiest result of pure magic to me #i guess to me it's so interesting that people have an intense experience on testosterone when i just do not #(and my levels are normal for my body/age range. it is painfully in the middle of normal in fact) #(though i am overdue for labs. i was JUST talking about labs with my dad too 💀)

[stuckinapril]

me stoically navigating my way through drama bc bigger things are ahead and it’s not my fault people are dumb

#kissed a guy at a kickback and thought we caught a vibe only to find out he just wants to fuck me. next #friend’s bf of 7 years drunkenly hit on me at the same kickback (I was not ok w this). they ended up beefing over me. he denied everything. #do I want to be involved in this? no. and so I simply ignore it and keep it pushing #and the guy I kissed is cancelled. like he is dead to me. so that’s also taken care of #it’s back to studying full-time for the mcat #going to the gym/taking walks daily #volunteering at the refugee center + clinic #getting published in orgo research papers #and trying to snag the opportunity to shadow doctors at a massive cancer research center. like I’d kill for it #december was such a mess but I’ve finally made peace w the fact that most of the stuff that happened I couldn’t prevent #but I’ve mourned it enough !! whatever drama comes out of it I’ll handle just fine #i literally want to be a multitasking academic weapon everyone is intimidated of this year #i am not letting something as puny as a dumb man (both of them btw) stop me. goodbye #also everyone involved is older than me (they’re both 23) but it all just feels like such high school behavior #this is not a euphoria episode like I’m literally just not entertaining any of this #had to get this off my chest. i feel better #p

[jackdraw-spwrite]

Clockwork's explanation had been lacking many things, chief among them brevity and clarity. In fact, there had been so many words that they had congealed together into a putty-like mass of confusion in Danny's brain and stuck fast to the inside of his skull. He was pretty sure he had a headache.

"How can you only be pretty sure you have a headache?" asked Tucker as he handed Danny an ice pack.

"I think I might not have a head," said Danny. "Technically."

There was a rich and incredulous silence.

"Weren't you asking him for help on algebra homework?"

Danny only moaned.

#danny phantom #danny phantom dp #clockwork dp #jackdraw-spwrite #jackdaw-spwrite #just a fun little thing because Fine has put me in wip hell #I am 6k words into the next chapter of this 3k oneshot #and was bemoaning the fact that I never have anything with the right tone to mock Clockwork for his utter lack of explanation skills #at least as the narrator

[post-it-notes7]

featuring DMK and a rare glimpse at my mirror GSA designs 

#dark meta knight #mir falspar #mir dragato #galaxy soldier army #kirby right back at ya #post's art gallery #every once in a while I am so normal about a mirror animeverse #dmk is dmk #mir dragato's life long dream is to steal pretty things and look even prettier with them #mir falspar died and came back wrong but he's probably fine #(he was in fact not fine)

[malevolententity]

no because m still confused at everyone saying this is a bad/boring event. Every Single Server Wide Event these past 6 months have been very lore and riddle focused, with a minor focus on pve during those lore events. it felt unbalanced. the admins have stated before that they want to do events for all playstyles. this is our First Time getting a proper server wide event for a different play style.

the pvp guys need their enrichment too. there is still lore and riddles in this event but thats the minor focus! and thats okay! sometimes other playstyles need to be accommodated and have a place where everyone knows its gonna happen! main island has a gentlemans agreement to not go stupid go crazy between the islanders and that makes it boring for the pvpers. sure they Can set up their own little scuffles with rules but theres something fun about The Hunt that you cant do on main island.

the pvp guys dont get to show off a lot in events. a lot of them dont participate in the lore events point blank OR they get assigned to pve clean up duty while the loreheads get to learn secrets. if you arent able to find entertainment in this event its okay to stop watching for two weeks! ur fellow fans will keep you updated on here/twitter/discord.

#qsmp #qsmp purgatory #like to be clear on my bias' the guys i watch the most is all of active team bolas. fitmc. etoiles. and pac #i am very biased to not enjoying pvp. everyone who knows me know my least favorite part of mcc is the fact that 75% of #games played is pvp focused and theyre Boring. purgatory event is fun to watch regardless of if its the really good pvp guys like etoiles o #fit. or if m in pathetic wet cat village watching them commit ritualistic suicide by burning to death. #not every event is for you or your streamer and thats fine! but if ur actively malding over a game ur not in especially once the stream end #maybe you should sit this event out #mald in ur discord while the streams going or ur vod watching. but if you keep malding once you disengage from the video #its time to take a break from watching until the event is over

[currentlyonstandbi]

#I AM FINE . SO TOTALLY FINE AND OKAY #if you thought i was done with the sw quote posts . think again #the gambit series was karen miller taking up a steel chair and pummelling me with it #it is just a non-stop emotional roller-coaster of 'hey what if we reminded you that at his heart anakin was a passionate and caring person?' #'what if we just constantly bombarded you with the fact anakin empathises with the suffering of others because he knows and lived suffering' #'what if we reminded you that he never moved on from the trauma inflicted by the cruelty of a childhood spent in slavery!!' #and that is on top of him and obi wan being so two halves of a whole the entire time that it's almost overwhelming #anyway . normal again #star wars #sw tcw #star wars the clone wars #clone wars gambit #anakin skywalker

[emry-stars-art]

Once again. I don’t know when I’ll be able to color this but here’s the full wip (corresponding to this whump post)

Usually Abram’s recovery goes about as expected but sometimes there’s stretches where he kind of slumps, just part of the ups and downs of recovery. Part of that is the constant vigilance he was forced to have in Evermore catching up to him again, so his health deteriorates and he gets jumpy and anxious and most of all exhausted. He figures out his brain remembers the mealtime breaks; and even if Andrew would never allow it at the table, the prince can recognize when he needs to give a little and let Abram sleep on the floor. It’s the only way he’ll fully relax. When he figures this out, there’s suddenly and mysteriously a few nice floor pillows and other furniture and blankets added to his room, and more for Abram to take to his own.

(Can I count this as whumptober 25 if one of the prompts is flashback 🤔)

#everyone in the know is working on getting abram used to using furniture again #and it’s going fine #just every once in a while. he goes back to old habits #that being said #nothing against floor furniture/floor time #because I have spent the past month looking for good floor pillows and a floor desk #in fact I am drafting this from my spot on the floor 😂 #abram just never spent so much time on the floor before evermore #and Andrew hates the knowledge of where the habit came from #and he doesn’t want to let abram keep feeling inferior enough to continue it #refuses to is probably a better word #anyway #fan art #my art #aftg #all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #royal au #andreil #wip