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excalibur-gone-missing · 1 month

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Paring: jeonghan x fem!reader

Requested: yes [Can you please write something angsty for prince DK? Or if this is too vague, what do you think about a bet au with Jeonghan?] [By anon]

Genre: angst, coworkers to lovers, fluff, fuckboy au, opposites au, bet au

Warning(s): misogyny, jeonghan is an asshole and so is seungcheol, [if you find more pls inform ]

Summary: Jeonghan had plans on never talking to the quite coworker they hired, but like doesn't always pan out the way we want to. But when you add money to the problem, plus both your feelings, you have the perfect recipe for disaster.

Word count: 5.2k

Other works

disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.

a/n: I request each and every one of you to comment on this fic don't be a silent reader it helps me as an author to understand my readers and i would love to communicate with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcomed by me so do talk about this fic or send me an ask. Plus, if you loved it enough don't forget to reblog, it will help me reach a larger audience.

a/n 2: i hope it was what you wanted, thanks for the ask btw!

Everyone at the office knew that Jeonghan was a free spirit, he worked hard and partied even harder. He like living his life in the most happening way possible. Be it weekend trips, bike trips to the mountains or staying in the countryside for a week and working remote while enjoying the serenity that comes with it, he was down for anything.

Funnily enough he was referred to as the least energetic person in his friend group. So, one can imagine overzealous they normally were.

His work more often than not was impeccable, no one could fault him at all. The rising star of the corporate world they called him at the office. In his five years at the job the man had garnered more approval than anyone else.

He liked his life, and he would not trade it for anything else.

Now, unlike Jeonghan you resided on the other side of the spectrum. Your kind of life was pretty monotonous waking up before your alarm, making your bed, skipping meals, and surviving on coffee, reaching, and leaving work on the dot and crying while rewatching your favorite shows, was your kind of life. You like staying in during the weekends and cleaning up the mess you make in your living space during the weekdays and trying everything in your power to not upset your cat while doing so.

Its calm, chill, maybe a bit boring but it worked for you and brought you peace.

You were the newest recruit in your office and from the first day you captured the attention of most of your coworkers for your meticulous and polite words.

More often than not you refuse to talk to your coworkers ensuring that there stays a professional boundary between you all and if they would not catch onto your behavior, you would politely decline them.

Never that interested in networking, you refuse to talk to more people than you need to.

Jeonghan caught onto it pretty early, but why did it matter to him what you did, so like everyone else he went on his own way and simply chose to ignore you.

Ten months into your new job was when you first had a real conversation with the man. It was pretty late at night, both of you had to stay back for overtime. That was when you saw him struggling with his presentation for the next day’s meeting.

That day you broke the ‘no talking to my coworkers rule unless and until it’s very important’ rule.

“what’s the problem?” you politely asked the man.

“Oh, I am having slight problem with the numbers here,” the man replies looking visibly confused and surprised.

“If you want, I can help you out” you kindly stated as Jeonghan casually just turned his laptop towards you.

So, for the next one and half hours you both sat there and diligently worked on the presentation and by the end of it the material looked rather good and presentation worthy.

Looking extremely grateful the pretty man said, “I am so thankful you helped me out today, so why don’t I repay you by dropping you off at your house, it’s pretty late you know.”

Looking at your watch you politely replied, “no worries, plus if I rush a bit, I can catch the last bus home so please don’t bother.”

Jeonghan looked bummed at this, but he was obliged nonetheless as he knew you to be an introverted lady and he did not want to make you uncomfortable.

The next time you and Jeonghan had a conversation, was again at a night when you both were staying at the office over time. By this time, you have become pretty comfortable with each other, not enough to hold a conversation but enough to spare a quick nod and a smile while passing by each other’s cubicles.

He was done with the day’s work and was about to leave the office when he noticed you hunched over your laptop looking frustratingly at your screen which showed you an open excel sheet with infinite numbers.

Feeling like he owed you the help, Jeonghan strode towards you and calmly said “let me see.”

Jumping in shock you looked at him and replied, “oh no don’t bother I can figure it out you should go home it’s pretty late you know.”

Tsking at your reply he grabbed a chair to sit beside you while saying “it’s only fair, you helped me out so I should help you now.”

You let him, in actuality you needed that little help from him, the data entries were annoying you and you absolutely did not like it one bit.

Just like that time passed by again resulting in the clock to show that it was quarter past one by the time you both were done.

This time though Jeonghan shut down all your protests to go about his own way and your reluctance to inconvenience him with a simple “it’s pretty late and I won’t let you get followed by some creeps on the road plus the last bus is gone anyways so you are coming with me.”

On the way he stopped at a convenience store to get some dinner for you both and you devoured your ramen while chatting with him.

You both were pretty similar, in some cases for example you both had this extreme love for Legos that existed beyond measurable amounts, both of you loved your pets to death, albeit his was a rock and yours was a cat, but as he said “we don’t discriminate peoples pets here, they can have what they want to but given its legal and safe for the pet.”

On the other hand, Jeonghan liked you too, he was happy he could be the first one to break your shell to meet the real you and he was proud of this. It was close to an achievement for him.

“Han like this new chick in his office.”

Joshua loudly announced to the group of boys sprawled in his living room one evening. Jeonghan’s friends had come to his house to hang out and to get drunk out of their wits to forget the stress of the tedious weekend they had. They were all friends from college, now working jobs in the most contrasting industries ever like Seungcheol was the manager for their states football club and Soonyoung was a choreographer working with famous celebrities, Hansol on the other hand was the proud of a pet shelter and the one and only Joshua was an English history professor who most days worked overtime at the university. But at the end of the day, they were all the loud and obnoxious assholes he knew and loved from his younger days, and nothing could compare to that.

“Really you never told us about this one hyung?” Mingyu enquires.

“Nah she is just a new hire at the office, does not like talking to people at all. She is more antisocial than Wonwoo’s ass.”

“Really now, antisocial?” Seungcheol enquires, not missing Jeonghan’s defensive tone.

“Yes, Cheol antisocial, plus I don’t even know her enough,” the male says while rolling his eyes at his friends interest with you.

“Maybe you could talk to her and get her out of her shell, you are a pretty good mediator in our group I think you could do that,” pipes up the ever so benevolent Seokmin.

“Yes, you could,” Seungcheol joins him smirking a bit.

Now thoroughly annoyed Jeonghan exclaims “no I cannot. The only way someone can get that stuck up bitch out of her shell will be fucking her or something and I do not want to do so!”

“What if I pay you, will you do it then,” Seungcheol says still smirking.

“Do what?”

“Fuck her enough to get her out of her shell.”

The whole room goes silent at that statement.

“Hyung, I don’t think it’s right,” the youngest of them, Chan, suddenly speaks.

“Yes, its morally incorrect man,” Jeonghan agrees.

“I will pay you, plus life is pretty boring. This will give us something to talk about for at least the next year,” the oldest explains still smiling a bit.

“I agree with the others, its emotionally taxing and nothing good will come out of doing something like this man, plus what are we teenagers making bets about emotionally harming others?” Joshua says.

“Jeonghan, you do it and I will give you a thousand bucks,” the oldest says calmly. At the same time all the men in the room let out an exasperated sigh, knowing there is no winning with this stubborn man, while hoping silently that Jeonghan does not succumb to the greed.

But alas they were wrong, so wrong. An amount that lucrative will only be passed by a fool and Jeonghan was no such thing. He stood up from his place at the loveseat and confidently strode over to Seungcheol.

“You better keep your fucking word,” he says while shaking the older man’s hand.

While Seungcheol smiles and says, “you know what you complete the bet within the next six month I’ll give you a five thousand and if you don’t end up doing it, you gotta pay me pal.”

After that evening with his friends, Jeonghan was pretty stressed, because why should he not be? Making you sleep with him is hard enough, but making a situationship out of it sounds even harder. Now he thoroughly regrets accepting the bet.

You on the other hand are pretty happy and quiet as you often are. Very much unaware of his internal turmoil, as you keep talking excitedly about the new Lego death star you bought.

Yes, you and Jeonghan have bonded quite a bit these past few days, he likes spending time with you too, and so do you. It is a nice and comfortable friendship you both have built, and you like it.

“Why don’t you let me come to your place this weekend, and we can build the set together. We can get takeout later too,” he suddenly speaks up shocking you with such forward proposition.

“Well only if you want to though no pressure, it’s just that I really wanted to build the death star and was planning to buy it but like couldn’t make enough time to do –”

“Sure, you can come,” you speak up stopping his nervous rant.

“Are you sure?” Jeonghan asks just to make sure he heard it correctly.

“Yes, I am, it will be fun to build the Lego set together,” you say smiling.

“Yes, it would be, but like are you really sure,” he says again to make sure he is really not hard at hearing.

“Jeonghan if you ask me once again, I will take back what I just said.”

This makes him stop talking at all and he proceeds to show you his beautiful smile, making you feel a bit giddy inside.

“So, I will come this Saturday and we shall make the death star cuz we can,” he sings, making you bark out a laugh at him.

Little do you know you just poured a cool bucket of water on the burning flames on anxiety inside Jeonghan’s brain and he is extremely happy about that.

The next Saturday comes rolls in slowly, the tedious and boring week is over, and it is time for self-care and a lot of friendship building activities or that’s what you thought.

The man was mad and when you say mad you mean it. The Lego making only lasted for like two hours before he had hidden all the pieces of the part that you were making, resulting you to search for them all over the house. Moreover, after diligently searching and finding nothing, you had given up when he had produced all those pieces from his pockets shocking you to the core.

This little stunt had made you force him to pay for the takeout and when you were both fed and watered, he had proposed a game of chess. Only problem, you never knew one could cheat in this game too. He moved the pieces wrong.

Result. You both had the pettiest fight ever wherein the man with all his might tried to convince you that the rook was indeed supposed to move diagonally.

“You don’t understand, that is how the game is played. Are you sure you ever played this before?” he had asked.

“Hani you are wrong, please the rook never in its whole life moved diagonally, it always moved straight.”

“Maybe that is what your problem is, you are so uptight, you refuse to accept the differences in our opinions!”

“Oh, now I'm uptight, you are only being this difficult cuz you are losing!”

“I wouldn’t if you let me play the rook diagonally.”

“But that is not how it is played! Why don’t you—"

All your rants stop just like that, it took you at least five business days to actually realize that Jeonghan had kissed you. But once you got over that shock, you closed your eyes and moved your lips along with his.

Jeonghan, thoroughly exasperated by your intense argument, impulsively sought to quiet you by placing a soft, lingering kiss on your plump lips. Almost immediately, regret washed over him as he feared he had acted rashly at the worst possible moment. Mentally preparing to distance himself from you for the rest of your time together, he was taken aback when you reciprocated the kiss, instantly dissolving all his worries and leaving him pleasantly surprised.

You broke the kiss to take a breath, both looking visibly flustered.

“Do you want to stay the night, or do you want to go?” you asked him while looking at him with your sparkling eyes, making Jeonghan want to glue his ass to your house, but he being the gentleman he was declined the offer.

“I would really like to take you out on a date. As I really like you, so I won’t spoil my chances with you by staying tonight.”

To say you were surprised would be an understatement. You always thought of the man to be a Casanova, so the idea of him taking you on a date while simultaneously insinuating that he won’t take any harsh steps with you was a nice little change and you were all for it.

It was all smooth sailing after that.

Jeonghan took you to an amusement park for the date next Sunday and oh boy did you enjoy yourself to the fullest.

Both of you had the time of your lives. Making sure to go on every ride, play every game and eating every junk you found there. By the end of it you were visibly exhausted and elated with how the day went.

The following day you were visibly happier in the office and even had a small conversation with one of your coworkers.

This went on for the following month, with each and every date you opened up to Jeonghan more and more, and so did he.

He loved spending time with you and vice versa. It was during your regular Friday movie nights, a ritual you both had established as you both liked watching movies and bonded while talking about them, when Jeonghan absolutely bored with the movie scooted a bit too close to you in hopes of gaining your attention by annoying you, a typical Jeonghan move. When you both ended up making love on the couch.

This was only the start of a lot of escapades you would have with the man.

After that one night, Jeonghan was all over you at all times. Be it at the office or be it at home he was with you or texting you all the time. Your nights were now filled with heavy make outs and intense love making sessions.

Everybody at the office knew about you both. On top of that you were more extroverted than ever. You even went out with your coworkers for an office dinner. Somehow, Jeonghan was praised for the change he brought in you, and like his ‘kind’ self, he declined all those compliments with a gracious smile.

He didn’t like to say it out loud, but he liked your changed self, more than your reserved one. Plus, he also took credit for the change, but it’s not like he would tell you that anytime soon.

It was almost five months into dating Jeonghan, when he asked you to meet his friends. You knew he had a very loyal group of friends and you had never met them before. On the contrary Jeonghan had met your one and only best friend within only three months of dating. In the most best friend manner, the lady has hated his ass the whole-time side eyeing him constantly and leaving petty remarks here and there. But that night she had called you and told you something she didn’t ever say for any of your boyfriends “I can see he loves you a lot. For the first time you chose the correct guy.”

Getting your strict best friend to like Jeonghan was like clearing the first hurdle of your relation. For the first time, you were proud of your choice in men and especially your boyfriend.

“Oh, I would love to meet them, but would they like me,” you were rightfully concerned about the boys liking you. As much as you were independent, you would like to gain the approval of your boyfriend’s friends like any girlfriend.

“They are dorks through and through, they will love, don’t worry” he had said while kissing your forehead to calm you down.

“Plus, you will fit right in, they are nice people,” he later added.

That evening, Jeonghan had taken you to the Korean BBQ place downtown where they all were meeting. The night had started rocky but within an hour you were having fun with Mingyu and Seokmin, all worries forgotten. Jeonghan had looked at you with pride blooming in his chest with how happy you looked with his friends, enjoying yourself.

It seems that all the twelve of them had liked you a lot saying you were the perfect partner for Jeonghan, someone who could ground him at the same time let him be himself.

The BBQ party came to an end, but the boys still had a lot of energy, so they went to the karaoke next taking both you and Jeonghan with them. Although you were thoroughly exhausted, you had complied to go, seeing Jeonghan have so much fun was a sight you didn’t want to miss.

You had gone to the bathroom the first thing right after reaching the karaoke place, to wake you up and also to do your business. Seungkwan had accompanied you claiming, “all that soju and walking has made my bladder shake like never before!” it’s not a lie though, they did drink like it will be the last time they ever get to drink.

As you came out of the restroom, Seungkwan gave you a kind smile and said “I have never seen Jeonghan this happy before, not even with us. I'm sure he likes you a lot.”

Smiling at him you said, “I think I love him; I have not said that to him yet, but I really think I do.”

With a sassy ‘good for you’ from the one and only Boo, you both made your way to the room that your group had booked.

As you reached closer, you could hear all the boys talking to each other.

“I approve, she is an angel, she even consoled Soon when he cried” said one of them making you smile a bit. By this time Seungkwan had stopped with you too eavesdropping on his friends as he is as dramatic as one can be.

“She is nothing like what you described her to be you know, she is nice and kind and far from being stuck up,” someone else said.

“Nah she is not, that stuck up once you get to know her, contrary to that she is very cheery and I like her you know,” Jeonghan had replied making you feel extra giddy inside.

“Hey bro if you like her that much maybe we should call off the deal we made, I see how much you like her and if you ask me, I will say she is a keeper,” with this statement, a silence washed over the whole group. You looked at Seungkwan to understand what was happening, but the man refused to look at you still stubbornly pretending to listen to the conversation.

“I said I like her, not like her enough to let go of the five thousand you offered” you suddenly heard Jeonghan speak making you even more confused about the whole ordeal.

“I think you will regret it you let her go hyung,” Seokmin suddenly said with a very somber tone generating a lot of assertive noises from the group.

“She won’t bring me five thousand, plus I fucked her got into a relationship with her and made her the fun-loving bitch she is now. It was a tedious process, but I completed my work, so I deserve the money.”

It was hard hearing the man you loved so much make such a degrading comment. At this point you were shaking with emotions so much that even Seungkwan who refused to look at you during this whole time, had to hold you steady.

“Did you know about this,” you asked him.

The boy with his eyes downcast just nodded his head.

“I won’t even ask you why you didn’t tell me about it, I get it you are his friend makes sense.”

“Hey none of us wanted him to do anything like this, but your Jeonghan is unstoppable sometimes and about the wrong things.”

“I think I should get going, I’ve heard enough.”

“Hey y/n we like you a lot, so please stay in contact with us later, no matter what your verdict is,” the younger man pleaded with glistening eyes, making you almost accept the request out of pity.

You ignored everyone and strode into the room bustling with men, heading straight for the couch. Without hesitation, you grabbed your bag and, as you walked out, approached Jeonghan and delivered a firm slap to his face. "We're done," you declared before exiting the room without glancing at anyone else.

The minute you had left, Jeonghan felt his life crashing down on him. The looks of disapproval from his friends and the pure disappointment that radiated off you caught him off guard. He had thought he could get out of it with both the girl and the money, but suddenly he realized he didn’t even need the said money, he only needed you. The weight of his words came to haunt me as soon as he had spoken them.

He immediately attempted to follow you but was stopped by Seungkwan, “did you see her face, if you follow her now, she will resent you more. Not like you don’t deserve it, but you are still my friend.”

The tone of his voice showed how much he was upset with Jeonghan. So much so that the younger male could not even look at his face.

“You are my hyung, but you know what I like her more, never have I ever thought you would do something like this,” he continued, “I hope she never forgives you.”

Hearing that Jeonghan couldn’t control himself and punched Seungkwan and a fight broke out. The boys trying their best to resolve it.

“It’s already a mess, can you both stop making it worse!” Mingyu said as Seungkwan punched Jeonghan back square on the jaw.

“Tell that shit to not meddle in my business then” comes Jeonghan’s voice.

“Maybe if you didn’t break her heart I wouldn’t, she was a fucking nice person,” Seungkwan shouted back as Mingyu dragged him out.

The night was ruined, and it was all because of Jeonghan.

That night you came home and cried your heart out ignoring all the calls from Jeonghan and the other boys, with whom you had exchanged numbers during the hangout. Thankfully, it was a Sunday the next day, so you didn’t have to look at the man who broke your heart, but it pained you so much to even move a muscle. It was like your heart was ripped out of your body. The pain was immeasurable.

There were at least a hundred missed calls on your phone and thirty of them from all of the boys. Your best friend come to your place that Sunday and tried her best to console a sad you, but nothing could stop you from beating yourself up for trusting a man like him. it’s true you loved him, and you regrated doing so, you didn’t blame Jeonghan for breaking your heart, you blamed yourself for being weak enough for you to let Jeonghan do so to you, for letting the man step all over you like you were a piece of trash that had no place in the normal world. The degrading things that he had said about you kept echoing in your ears, making it hard for you to think of anything else.

It was like you had forgotten all about your vow to never let anyone step over you and take away a piece of you from yourself. You were so hurt that you refused to see Jeonghan at all. So, on the next Monday you asked your HR for a weeklong leave and the kind lady obliged owing to your stellar performance at your department.

You turned off your phone that week and went to stay with you friend as the house was too lonely for you and the more you stayed there, the more you felt the memories of you and Jeonghan coming to haunt you.

On that Monday, Jeonghan woke up with a newfound determination. He was resolved to confront you and explain that his hurtful words from that night stemmed from his own inability to accept his feelings. He believed that once he clarified his side of the story, your compassionate nature would lead you to forgive him. He was even prepared to humble himself, willing to beg for your forgiveness if necessary. However, fate intervened when he discovered you had taken a week-long leave from the office.

The realization of consequences hit him suddenly. Yes, he understood the gravity of his actions, but he was willing to face any repercussions if it meant having you back in his arms. Anything seemed bearable compared to the thought of losing you.

By Wednesday, Jeonghan found himself standing at your doorstep, desperately knocking, hoping to speak with you. To his dismay, a neighbor informed him that you had been absent since Monday. His heart sank realizing he had missed his chance to reconcile with you.

He had made a solemn vow to himself that he would reach out to you no matter what obstacles lay in his path, willing to go to any lengths to make amends. However, he now realized the depth of his mistake. Reflecting on his actions, he understood that he should have heeded the advice of his friends earlier, but it was too late for regrets.

Jeonghan's determination to win you back consumed him. He felt a deep pang of regret for not acting sooner and for failing to appreciate the warnings from his friends. Now, facing the reality of your absence, he grappled with the weight of his impulsive behavior.

In the days that followed, Jeonghan resolved to wait patiently for your return, determined to seize any opportunity to make things right. He hoped against hope that he hadn't irreparably damaged the bond between you. Each passing day without you served as a sobering reminder of the importance of listening to his instincts and valuing the counsel of those who cared about him.

The next week you opened your phone to see it has blown up with Jeonghan’s messages and there were a few from Seungkwan asking you if you are okay and telling you that he had punched Jeonghan for being an asshole to you and that most of the people didn’t agree with Jeonghan’s antics but its hard to stop Jeonghan when is like that.

Taking pity of the boy you and answered him accepting his apology and telling him you were happy that he punched the guy.

His answer came immediately, saying he was happy that there is no bad blood among you two and he prefers you more than Jeonghan anyways making you laugh at his cuteness.

When you returned back to the office, the first thing you did was hand them your resignation letter. The next thing on your list was avoid Jeonghan till you leave work, at which you were pretty successful.

And just like that you were done with your time in the office and were moving onto another job before Jeonghan could even get hold of you.

Its has been three years since and life had never been better. You became friends with Seungkwan, Seokmin and Soonyoung immediately. You four hangout quite frequently. The three younger men like you a lot too. It’s a strong bond you have created with them. If anyone asks you would say the only good thing that came from your ex was the friends you made while with him.

On top of that you also have been in a relation with a man who treats you right and loves you to death. Its like you have at last reached the light at the end of the tunnel.

Jeonghan on the other hand drowned himself in work after you left, the man tried his best to forget your existence and was very thankful his work helped him do so. But whenever he was out with his friends he couldn’t stop himself from asking about you and always he got the same answer of ‘none of your fucking business’ from Seungkwan.

But it was different this time, it was the ever so kind Seokmin who answered him.

“Hyung she moved on, and you should too.” Hearing that he stood up, he didn’t know why. Would he go to your house and beg for your forgiveness again or will he call you while asking you to give him another chance?

Truth to be told, he didn’t know.

“Hyung please don’t mess this up for her. She is happy,” Seokmin spoke up again, kindly holding his hand to pull him down back onto his seat. It felt like Jeonghan’s life has come crashing down on him once again. One lone tear left his eye, too embarrassed to cry in front of his friends, he puts up a happy front while saying “of course Seok, I would do nothing to hurt her.”

All his friends looked at the man in pity, hoping that faith was kinder to him. but they couldn’t deny that he single handedly destroyed his life either. He was still their friend and he deserved to be happy to but so did you. The man sat in silence for some time till Joshua loudly declared he wanted to go to the arcade and all the others enthusiastically agreed, happy about the distraction.

That is when Jeonghan realized life has gone on and not stopped for anyone, the time he was supposed to seize his moment has passed and it wont ever come back. He now has to live his life without the presence of one of the most precious thing he ever had the privilege to possess, your love.

a/n 3: thank you all for reading !!

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kodamaghost00 · 2 months

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30 Charlie headcanons

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[Disclaimer!!]

I know Chaggie is canon but for the sakes of this post Charlie will be single. [Im a passionate chaggie shipper pls don’t kill me]

This post will contain: NSFW,Sfw, Fluff, Smut

It's also Genderless for the girls,gays and theys! You're a new resident at the Hotel in this scenario.

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Let’s begin!

Her favorite nicknames for you are “Sunshine” and “Pumpkin”. And everything sweet in general.

She makes you breakfast every morning and gets excited when you do the same.

Loves morning cuddles. She’d stay in bed just enjoying the embrace and warmth of your body.

Would not really understand your interests but enjoys seeing you being happy. So she will engage and learn about your interests and hobbies. “So you’re into that? Sounds interesting, Sunshine!”

She is definitely an early sleeper. She wants to get the most out of a day as possible.

Listens to 2017 white girl music on a daily basis and you guys vibe all the time.

After she got to meet Rosie she always went to her for advice or help in general.

She gets very flustered and ashamed when people as about her sexual life and declines to talk about it openly.

She likes PDA a lot though. Showing off her perfect partner with kisses and hand holding? Fuck yeah!

She definitely confessed her love to you first. She gave you flowers and a love letter wich read “Please be mine and go on a date with me!”. With an adorable doodle next to it.

She’s more of a dog person but loves KeeKee with her whole heart.

She’s is surprisingly dominant in bed. She pins you down aggressively but afterwards asks you if you are okay with it.

She is very flexible so there are many poses you guys could try out.

She enjoys oral a bit more than anything else. Seeing you shutter under her control makes her feel very reassured.

She definitely goes into her demon form when she’s close. Her tail wrapping around her waist trying to keep her composer.

Great at aftercare. She makes sure you feel reassured and comfortable once you’re finished. Cuddles and kisses are a must.

“Are you comfortable pumpkin? Would you like a towel?” And also whispering reassurance to you is important. “You did great by the way… you look so cute!”. A total sweetheart.

She is great with all sorts of people. Even the ones who are really disrespectful to her. So sometimes you keep those people in place.

Won’t curse until she needs to. She isn’t really going hard on the curses when she does curse. A simple “Fuck you” or “Motherfucker” is enough for her.

She absolutely adores kids. She also wants at least two in the future.

Gets shy easily. When you compliment her hair or her big round eyes she gets flustered right away.

In her emo phase she definitely said “ITS NOT A PHASE!” and now she looks back on it and laughs every time.

Hopes she will see Emily again one day. They definitely had a great time together.

If you’re not able to sleep at night she’s singing you to sleep. With your head on her lap and her playing with your hair.

LOVED the Barbie movie and rewatched it twice. And cried at the ending.

She is an hardworking woman so she’s encouraging you to help her out a lot. Trying to make you feel included!

When she gets overwhelmed she locks herself in her room and cries herself to sleep.

“Hey Charlie…? Are you okay…?” You asked knowing she’s feeling down. “Y-yeah! I’m fine pumpkin… don’t worry!!” “You don’t have to pretend my love…”

She sighed as she opened her door. You see her puffed up eyes so you open your arms wide. “Come here…” she hugs you deeply. “Thank you…”

You kiss her forehead as she embraces the hug. “No need to thank me sweetheart.”

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Yes I know no one asked for this but I love Charlie so you gotta listen to me rant about her. Give my girly more love and attention! So as always I’d love to get some requests for characters, I’ll try to do all of them but there’s so many! Thanks for reading my dear friends and have a lovely day/night!

- Your Ghost ༼ つ ╹ ╹ ༽つ

#charlie morningstar #hazbin charlie #charlie magne #charlie hazbin hotel #charlie x reader #charlie headcanons #hazbin headcanons #hazbin hotel headcanon

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cyliegvf · 2 years

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Wine Drunk (josh x f!reader)

Summary: Your first night at home with Josh during his break from tour

Warning: 18+ MINORS DNI!! mentions of alcohol consumption, oral (m and f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks), cockwarming (slightly)

Please let me know if I've gotten anything!

Word count: 4.9k

Disclaimer: this was started before we found out about poor Joshua's ear :( but I wanted to still post it anyway! ALSO this is VERY lightly proof read so please be aware that there could be some very bad misspelling and grammar!

It really came at the perfect time. The weather in Nashville had finally started to change into the crisp cool autumn that you loved so much. And today was a rainy one which you loved even more. The last few days before Josh’s break you kept imagining the two of you lounging on the couch all day snuggled up in your favorite blankets and tangled limbs as you rewatched all of your favorite films.

It was rare that the boys would have a significant break during tour. But luckily this time around management was able to score a ten day break for them during the month of October. Josh and the boys had been on the road for what seemed like forever and with the practically nonexistent time you had off work, it made it really hard to just get up and fly to God knows what city to see a show. So needless to say, you were really happy that they had this break. They needed it just as much as you did.

Now you were sitting at the kitchen island sipping your chai counting down the hours until Josh was supposed to be home while staring at the computer screen that showed you a minute-to-minute update on Josh’s flight. “Oh come on” you whispered to yourself once you realized how silly you felt doing this. You got up from the barstool to put your now empty mug in the sink and headed to your room to take a shower and get ready for the day.

Stepping into the scalding hot water you giggled to yourself. The thought of how Josh would always complain about the temperature like an old man whenever the two of you would shower together ran through your mind. You practically jumped out of your skin when Josh’s bottle of body wash fell onto the tile floor of the shower. You bent down to pick it up but before putting it back in its spot on the shelf you squeezed some onto your loofah. The smell overtook your senses as you started rubbing it across your skin. This was a thing you did often when he was gone. The smell made you feel the slightest bit closer to him and made your bed sheets smell like him again. It almost made you sad for a moment before you remembered that he’d be home in your arms by dinner time. Your mind filled with the thought of being able to run your fingers through his hair, and see his beautiful brown eyes that sparkled when he’d smile. And that smile, good lord did you miss that smile. The way his perfectly plump and pink lips would spread just enough so you could see the slight gap between his two front teeth and the single dimple that graced his left cheek.

“I believe that's my soap, little missy.” Your head whipped around faster than lightning to see the short giggly man with a mop of curls leaning against the doorframe of your bathroom smiling at you.

“Oh my god!” you screamed as you flung open the glass shower door and charged full force into Josh’s chest causing a small grunt to fall from his mouth. With soap suds still covering your body, Josh wrapped his arms around your waist capturing you in a loving embrace.

“Happy to see me, I presume?”

“What are you doing home so early? I mean I-I’m not complaining but-”

“I got an earlier flight. I wanted to get home to my girl.” he said grinning down at you. You couldn’t help the smile strewn across your face while finally being able to look Josh right in the face, not a silly phone or computer screen.

He leaned down and whispered in your ear “You’re getting the floor all wet…”

“Oh shit. You’re right. I-I’m sorry I just got excited.” you say looking down at the puddle of water and soap around your feet. Glancing up at Josh you smile “Will you join me?” you ask as you make your way back into the stream on hot water.

“I’d love to.” he sighs “I need to get all the airport off me.” Josh strips off his clothes and you turn your head to the feeling of a cool rush of air on your back when he opens the door to the shower. With tired eyes and a dopey smile, he walks up behind you wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his head on your shoulder. “Hot as ever.” he jokes.

“Who me or the water?”

“Mmm. Yes.” Josh presses a sweet kiss to your temple before pulling away and grabbing your shampoo off the shelf. “Can I wash your hair?”

“Mmm, please. I would love that.” you smile back at Josh seeing him in all his glory. His hair is longer now, save for the shaved sides that he recently decided to bring back, and a few curls have started to stick to his forehead due to the humidity in the shower. You keep looking at him as he squeezes some of your shampoo into his hand and you can’t help but notice how his arms, stomach, and legs seemed to be a little more toned since you’d last seen him.

“You’re staring.” he says, not even looking up at you as he rubs his hands together to get your shampoo all sudsy.

“No baby, I’m gawking.” He lets out a small laugh at your response. “You just look so good. I’ve missed looking at you.”

“I could say the same, darling.” He winks. “Turn around for me mama.”

Feeling Josh’s hands on you again made you feel complete. Being apart from him for so long while he and the boys were out on tour was hard. Especially after you’d spent so much time together when the pandemic was in full swing and touring was not. It was a hard adjustment for everyone, not only you. Granted you had Jita to talk to and you knew she understood exactly what you were going through but it wasn’t the same without him in your bed every night.

The two of you stayed in the shower for as long as possible before turning into prunes. Taking turns under the water to rinse off soap from your bodies and hair and sharing intimate kisses and looks. You were happy to be with him and simply feel his presence again, everything in the world felt right.

By the time you and Josh got out of the shower and were dressed and ready for the day, it was lunchtime. You both made your way downstairs to get something ready to eat. When pulling the things for sandwiches from the fridge you heard the familiar crackle of the needle of your record player begin to play ‘Call Me’ by Aretha Franklin. Moments later you feel Josh’s hands snake around your waist before he whispers in your ear “Dance with me, mama.” You turn in his arms and he grabs your left hand in his right and pulls you away from the counter before placing his left hand on the small of your back, pressing you into him.

You could stay like that forever. Your head tucked into Josh’s chest, inhaling his signature sent with every breath, instantly calming you. You eventually pull your head from his chest to look him in the eyes but catch a glimpse of his bags still sitting by the door.

“We need to unpack your bags.” you say causing Josh to look at you with furrowed brows.

“S’odd thing to be thinking about right now.”

“I know, but seeing them sitting by the door makes me think you’re leaving again. And that's the last thing I want right now.”

“Oh, baby.” Josh frowns, bringing his hand to your jaw and rubbing his thumb across your cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.” he places a tender kiss between your eyebrows causing you to melt right back into his chest and hold him tighter.

“Good.” is all you say before the song fades out and into the next. “You hungry?”

“Mmmm, famished.”

You pull away “Well there isn’t much since a certain someone disrupted my plans for the day and I didn’t get the chance to go out and get things for dinner.” you say jokingly “So sandwiches will have to do for lunch, but what do you want to do for later? We could order in but I really wanted to make you a home-cooked meal tonight.”

“I could run out and get whatever you needed for dinner.” Josh offers.

“Mmm that would be perfect.” you say standing on your tippy toes to peck a quick kiss on his perfectly pink lips. “I’ll give you the list. Thank you, baby.”

“Anything for you, lover.” He lays a light smack to your ass before exiting the kitchen to go grab and unpack his bags.

---

After a wonderful dinner and hearing lots of Josh’s tale of the road. You both decided to have a movie night.

Sitting on the couch with your lover in an old t-shirt and some pajama shorts and Josh in his sweats and shirt, you played with his hair as he laid his head in your lap. With a big bowl of popcorn, your two wine glasses, and your second empty bottle of wine on the coffee table you couldn’t think of a time within the past few months that you had felt this happy and content.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, mama?” You didn’t even realize Josh had been staring at you from his spot below you. You glance down at him and see the hazy smile strewn across his face.

You giggle. “I sound like a broken record but I’m just really fucking happy you’re home.”

Josh reaches up and runs his fingers over your already blushing cheek. “Mmm me too, baby.” His fingers continue to trail down your neck making you snort a laugh and start to giggle. “You’re drunk aren’t you?” he says looking up at you with a giddy smile.

“M-maybe a little.” you say through little laughs. Wine was something that always made you a little giddy, but after sharing two full bottles with Josh you were definitely starting to feel its effects.

You slowly calm down and notice Josh staring at you again. His eyes were droopy but you could clearly tell something was running through his mind. Suddenly you stop all movements as if you were a statue in a museum. “What?” you say with wide eyes.

“You’re just so beautiful.” Josh sits up and places a slow loving kiss on your lips. He pulls away, but only the slightest bit. You can still feel his breath fanning across your lips. “Mmm you taste good.” he breathes out.

Suddenly, you feel the mood in the room shift and grow completely still. The tension between you two is so thick that it feels as though it's hard to breathe. You meet Josh’s eyes and brush your nose against his in a playful manner to break the tension before whispering “Make out with me Kiszka.” across his lips.

“Mmm gladly.” He gently grabs your face and connects your lips once again. This time with more passion. You brush your hand over the shaved side of his head before bringing it to the curls at the nape of his neck, deepening the kiss even further. You slightly tug at the roots forcing Josh to release a barely there grunt, making you smile against his lips. “Stop that.” you hear him murmur against you.

“What? I thought you liked a little tugging.” you joke.

“Oh I do.” he responds before grabbing your bottom lip with his teeth and releasing it with a pop. You throw your head back in laughter before collecting yourself and reconnecting your lips. Josh’s tongue swipes over your bottom lip and you hum as you let him in. He grazes the roof of your mouth before pulling away from you abruptly. You catch his eyes, you’re both already breathing heavily and without a word or breaking eye contact, he leans back and ushers you to straddle his lap.

Once you’ve situated yourself on Josh all decorum, in every sense of the word, is thrown out the window. Teeth clashing, tongues fighting for dominance, and hands tangled in each other's hair while soft breathy moans are falling from the both of you. Josh starts trailing kisses from your lips to your cheek, across your jaw, and down your neck before finding the spot behind your ear that he knows will cause you to fall into pieces. A moan louder than you expected falls from your mouth actually causing you to jump a little and a small “oop” falls from your mouth. You hear Josh chuckle and feel him smile against your neck before he continues down to the loose hem of your shirt.

“J-Josh, baby.” you sigh out trying to get his attention.

Nothing.

“Josh.” you tug at his hair to try and get him to look at you.

A short “mmm” is the only response you get as he continues to leave open-mouthed kisses along the expanse of your neck.

“Joshua.” you grab the sides of his head to pull him away from you so you can look him in the eyes.

“W-what?!” He looks startled. You didn’t mean to scare him, but the look on his face made a giggle bubble in your chest and you held it back as best you could.

You stare at him for a moment before smiling and saying “Take me to bed, baby. Please.” Josh springs into action. Wrapping his hands around your thighs before launching off the couch with a big grunt.

“Okay, grandpa.” you laugh into his neck.

“Hey now. Cut me some slack, I’ve really been working that tambourine lately.” A huge belly laugh springs from you and Josh trudges forward, up the stairs, and into the master bedroom of your home.

You feel the soft comforter of your bed hit the back of your legs as Josh lays you down. Before Josh has the chance to fully make his way on top of you, you grab the bottom of his shirt and tug lightly. He looks down at your hand, “Oh you want this off?” he smirks back up at you. All you do is nod shyly. “Come on mama. Don’t get shy on me now.” He leans down to plant a kiss on your lips. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want you.” you grab his face and place a long, sloppy, wet lick up the right side before pulling back and laughing “Take this off. Now!”

Josh sits back on his knees and yanks his shirt over his head before reaching for the bottom of your shirt. He looks at you with a grin on his face. All you do is nod and in a split second your shirt is over your head and is being thrown to the other side of the room. Josh leans back down and starts kissing down your chest to the swell of your now-exposed breasts. He takes your right nipple in his mouth and pinches the other between his forefinger and thumb. Moans of his name are falling from your lips like a fountain, encouraging him to keep going. He continues his effort until your nipples are on the edge of being overstimulated before he starts kissing down your stomach. Josh glances up at you, not stopping his kisses when he feels your stomach start to vibrate against his lips. “What's so funny?” You can tell by the uptick in his voice that Josh is laughing along with you.

“Y-your mustache, it tickles.”

“I thought you’d be used to it by now.” he smiles up at you.

“I-I know, it’s just- it's been so long since we’ve done this.” And it had. Sure you and Josh had phone sex on the regular when he was away, but without him being there you’d momentarily lost the sensorial familiarity of his facial hair and lips on your body.

“I know, mamas. But don’t you fret, we’ll definitely be making up for lost time these next few days.” He winks at you before bringing his lips to the waistband of your panties and kissing down over your still clothed clit. He glances up to ensure he has your undivided attention before grabbing your panties and shimmying them down your legs.

He starts rubbing up your legs with the palms of his hands and planting open mouthed kiss from your ankle to your calves and finally landing at the tops of your thighs. You’re practically squirming under his touch, squeezing your legs together to dull the burning ache in your core. Softs moans are leaving your lips when you feel Josh pull your knees apart and start to kiss along the inside of your thighs, higher and higher but not reaching the stop where you need him most. You whisper out his name, getting him to look up at you.

“What baby? What do you want?” He’s smiling at you. He knows exactly what you want but he wants you to say it.

“Stop teasing me you little shit.” It comes out much more breathy than you had hoped. Completely giving away how much Josh was really affecting you right now.

“Come on, mamas. Be sweet to me so I can be sweet to you.” Josh whispers against the inside of your thigh before coming up and sucking a dark hickey onto your hip bone.

“Your mouth! God, Joshua, I want your mouth!” All regard for keeping yourself controlled is thrown out the window.

Josh releases a small giggle. “Good girl.” Before you can even register the fact that he’s responded to you Josh is diving into you. The flat of his tongue swipes from your dripping hole to your clit in a slow, languid motion. A choked moan rips through the room when Josh wraps his lips around your bud and sucks it into his mouth. Your hand is pulling his hair at the crown of his head forcing a grunt from his mouth.

While Josh was gone, you practically dreamt of this every night. He always knew how to bring you right to the edge and make your body buzz with only a single touch. But having him here now was otherworldly. Josh knew your body better than you did. Sometimes even, he’d randomly point out little beauty marks and scars on your skin that you didn’t even know existed, and it amazed you every single time that he paid that close attention.

Your attention was drawn back to Josh when you noticed how he was not so subtly grinding his hips into the mattress. You smiled to yourself. The idea of Josh being just as needy as you right now for some reason made you feel giddy. “A little impatient are we?” You joked through bated breath.

He looked up at you and saw the devilish grin spread across your face. “Shut up.” he huffed out through a laugh. He flashed you the most gorgeous smile before he plunged his middle and ring finger into your dripping cunt. One of the most pornographic moans ripped through your body as you felt Josh start pumping his fingers in and out of you at an ungodly pace. You could barely hear the small chuckle Josh let out over the sounds of his fingers being coated in your slick and your heavy breaths and moans. “Fuck- Y/N you’re fucking soaking my fingers, baby.” Josh moaned out before he placed kitten licks against your clit.

“Harder.”

“Mmm greedy little thing aren't you?”

“Josh please, stop teasing.” you begged. Josh quickly got back to work, attaching his mouth to your clit and devouring you like he hadn’t had a meal in months. In seconds Josh was taking over your senses and you could feel the pressure in your stomach reach its highest peak. “J-Josh.” you moan out. “I’m so f-fucking close!”

“I know, baby. Let go for me. Show me how much you really missed me.”

“Oh fuck! So much.”

Seconds later you felt the rubber band in your stomach snap and the wave of pleasure crash over you. Your eyes clamp shut in pleasure and moans of Josh’s name and incoherent babble falls from your lips as your orgasm fills your senses. Your vision flashes white and the only sounds you can hear are the faint whimpers Josh is making.

Slowly Josh ushers you back down to earth as your orgasm subsides and gently pulls his fingers from you. When you finally have the strength to open your eyes you’re met with Josh’s beautiful face smiling up at you. “That was a good one, wasn’t it?” He starts climbing up your body and gently places his fingers on your bottom lip. “Open.” he commands softly, and you oblige. He slowly pushes his fingers into your mouth and you wrap your tongue around them, tasting yourself.

As Josh starts to pull his fingers from your mouth a giggle falls from your lips. He traces down your jaw and neck with his digits before smiling down at you and asking “You having fun, mama?” You just smile up at him and nod your head before pulling him down on top of you and littering his face and neck with open mouthed kisses.

Suddenly, the thought pops into your brain. You pull away from Josh and look him in the eyes. “I can leave as many hickeys as I want!” you practically scream in his face out of pure excitement, squirming around just like a kid on Christmas morning.

Throwing his head back in laughter, Josh looks down at you and through a chuckle, he says “Y-yeah. I suppose you can now with this long break.”

You’re not quite sure how, it must have been all the excitement coursing through your veins, but you flip the two of you over so that you’re now straddling Josh’s hips. Your lips are on him in an instant, leaving dark purple marks all over his neck and chest. Slowly, you make it down to the patch of hair just below his navel and glance up at him. His cheeks are flushed, eyes blown out with lust, and lips so pick and plum it almost looks like they might explode off of his gorgeous face. You drag your hand over his jeans where you can clearly see how hard he already is before reaching up and popping the button and unzipping his zipper. Making eye contact with Josh, you smile and bite your lip as you pull his jeans and boxers down and off his legs.

His cock springs free and rests hard and leaking on his abdomen. Crawling back over him after throwing his pants across the room you stop with your face inches from his throbbing cock. The whimpers falling from Josh’s lips make it even harder for you to control yourself.

Looking up at him, you slowly drag your flattened tongue from his balls to the very tip of his cock before wrapping your lips around his head. Just the taste of him alone makes your eyes roll into the back of your head. You wrap your hand around the base of his cock and start to bob your head up and down slowly. Moans of your name are the only thing coming from Josh’s mouth when you decide to bring your other hand to cup his balls.

He throws his head back and through a breathy laugh Josh says “God I missed you so fucking much.” You hum around him before drastically changing your pace. Lewd sounds of your mouth around Josh and his moans are bouncing off the walls of your bedroom. Pleasing him was one of the few things that brought you this much joy. Being able to see him falling apart for you, because of you was something that you’d never give up.

Relaxing your throat as much as possible, you take Josh even further. A choked moan rips through Josh’s chest and his hips buck, forcing him even further down your throat. You try not to gag as you hold yourself down on him, so much so that your nose is brushing against the patch of hair at the base of his cock. You feel him twitch in your mouth before you pull off of him with a sloppy pop.

Josh sees the string of drool that runs from your bottom lip to the tip of his cock and smiles. Wiping it away with the back of your hand and sitting back on your knees, you pause for a moment, taking him in. His body is already glistening with the thinnest layer of sweat, the way his chest is moving up and down as he tries to fill his lungs with as much air as possible, and the slight twinkle in his now fully dilated eyes.

Josh quickly notices how you’re squeezing your legs together to dull the burning ache in your core and he lets out a breathy chuckle. “You’re so good to me.”

“Just fuck me already Kiszka.” you say with a smile as you climb back on top of him.

“Yes ma’am.” he responds before flipping you over and situating himself between your legs.

Josh takes himself in his hand before running the head of his cock through your folds. Positioning himself at your entrance before slowly pushing in all the way to the hilt. Moans fall from both of your lips and Josh runs his hands up and down your thighs, giving you time to adjust to him again.

After being away from him for so long and missing him in this way you’ve become too needy to wait any longer so to signal that you’re ready for him to start moving you clench your pussy around him. A small whimper comes out of him and you smile to yourself before doing it again. Josh abruptly wraps his arms under your knees so that your hips are lifted off the bed before he starts his brutal pace. A yelp flies from your mouth as your head tips back in pleasure. It almost feels foreign to you. Josh is hitting spots inside you that you didn’t even know existed. An opened mouth smile is strewn across your face as Josh continues to repeatedly hit your g-spot. “That feel good, baby?” He asks through bated breath, and the cockiest smile you think you’ve ever seen that man wear.

“Fuck, y-yes! Josh, baby you m-make me feel so f-fucking good!” Your words are being thrown off by how hard Josh is fucking into you, practically fucking you stupid.

Unsurprisingly, the familiar feeling of your impending orgasm has already started to form in the pit of your stomach, and Josh can tell.

“Shit- you’re squeezing me so fucking tight, mama.” he says through gritted teeth “Please cum for me. I won’t be able to last much longer, please.” Before you have the chance to respond Josh is dropping one of your legs to start rubbing tight, fast circles on your clit, doing everything he can to get you off.

“Oh, fuck!” you scream out as you feel yourself start to gush around Josh, no doubt drenching the sheets beneath you.

“Fuck! That's it. Good girl. Cum around my cock, just like that. Such a good fucking girl Y/N. So pretty for me.” You knew Josh right there with you, he always tended to ramble when he was about to orgasm. You felt Josh start to lose his rhythm and with a few more thrusts you could feel his warm, sticky cum fill you to the brim.

Slowly bringing the both of you down, he let go of your other knee and leaned down on top of you. Grabbing your face in his hands he kissed you hard, only slightly pulling back to smile against your lips before placing a light peck to the tip of your nose.

“Mmm, we should get wine drunk and do that more often.” he whispered.

You giggled. “Sounds like a plan. How does tomorrow night sound?”

Josh smiles and places the softest kiss to your lips before he slowly starts to pull out. Before he gets the chance to make it too far you grab his hip.

“No, stay.” you look at him with the biggest doe eyes you could muster. “Please.”

Josh grins at you before silently ushering you to lay on your side so you’re face-to-face and pulling a blanket over the two of you. He wraps his arms around you and kisses you on the forehead before taking a big whiff of your hair.

“I’m so glad I’m home with you Y/N. I love you so much, baby.” he says after a few moments of silence.

“I love you. And I’m glad you’re home as well.” You say with a smile. “This means I can start using my own body wash again and people can stop asking me why I smell like a man.” you giggle into his chest.

“Mmm, we should get on that. Shower?”

“Already ready for another round?” you ask with a bit of shock in your voice.

He smiles down at you, “Like I said, mama. We’re making up for lost time.”

Tags: @sparrowofthedawnsworld

#greta van fleet #josh gvf #josh kiszka #josh kiszka x reader #gvf smut #josh kiszka smut #josh kiszka fic

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thedecadenceofwar · 2 years

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The Kiss of the Muse: Young Royals. A meta.

Alright. So I was rewatching young royals (stream young royals lets make season 3 happen) and I noticed at the end of episode one, Wille is doing his homework! (Good for him!) And his book is open on this page:

Oh, what an interesting painting, I thought. And then I thought, it’s Young Royals; nothing is by accident. So I went searching for this painting, and I found it. It’s by Cézanne, and it’s called The Kiss of the Muse.

The wonderfully informative cezannepaintings.com had this to say:

The Kiss of the Poet shows a poet who is experiencing difficulty in his writing process. Although the scene doesn't include a writing implement, a piece of paper is resting on the desk. It appears as if the poet was in the middle of creating a poem and got stuck. Exasperation is written all over his face. His entire form screams of a man tired of what he is doing. Dream of a Poet is an apt alternate title for the painting because it describes this scene perfectly. The poet and his eyes closed so the muse on his shoulders could be part of a dream.

Pretty sure they meant Kiss of the Muse at the beginning (whatever, errors happen) but one of the things I want to point out is that the ALTERNATE title for this painting is Dream of a Poet. In this essay I will -

talk about how both titles are symbolic for Wille and Simon, and how they are both the poet and the muse in this painting.

Disclaimer: I don’t have a degree in art history. I don’t know anything. Feel free to disagree with me entirely. Enjoy!

Simon as the Poet; Kiss of the Muse.

Immediately before this scene in Wille’s bedroom takes place is the first time Simon sets a boundary before Wilhelm. I’ve been thinking about you all break, he said, but it’s nice to have some space. You can see in that interaction how exhausted Simon is, how he’s entirely fed up with Wille not being able to understand where he’s coming from.

(Apologies for my godawful Netflix screenshots.)

While Simon might be faced away from his muse, clearly sick of this mental block, Wille is always behind him, always with him. The poet’s muse inspires him to write, just as Wille inspires Simon to write the new Hillerska song. But at this point, Simon has not yet begun; the artist in the painting notably does not have a pen or quill.

It speaks as well I think to Wille’s constant presence in Simon’s life. The poet has given up on his poem. He’s sick of throwing himself at the wall and never being able to get through. And Simon constantly tries to take back his agency; through Marcus, through the Hillerska song, through the boundaries he sets with Wilhelm. But it’s never enough. Wille is constantly with him. The muse stands behind the poet; he cannot see her, but he can feel her presence. Dream of a Poet (the alternate title) implies that he wishes she was there, that he yearns for her constantly and the creative impulses she brings, but he cannot access them.

I feel ascribing the poet to Simon is a fairly obvious comparison; two creators, both feeling stuck and art-blocked. Simon as poet and Wille as muse represents Simon’s artistic and emotional journey through the season; he tries to look the other way, but Wille is always drawing him in, constantly with him.

And oh, the kiss. Simon cannot sing his song without Wille there. The muse is vital for the art.

In episode 4, when Simon realizes Wille has left the ball, he goes in search of him. Wille, the song is about you. He needed Wille to be there, to hear him sing those words because without him there the full impact of the premier is lost. What would happen if the muse left the poet? The kiss must happen. Wille must be present for the song.

Simon goes searching for him because he knows this. If Wille is not present to hear it, the point of Simon writing it is lost. He may not have known it until Wille threatened to leave, but he knows it when he goes after him. He seeks the kiss of the muse. Once he receives it, he is free to make his art again.

Wille as the poet; Dream of the Poet.

Speaking of that kiss. I’m sure we’re all aware at this point that the music that plays during this kiss plays during Wille’s dream at the very beginning of the season. He’s dreamed of this moment for so long, this kiss, and to finally receive it is such ecstasy he’s speechless.

(Look at that queer fucking joy. My god. I nearly cried.)

But I digress. We must return to the point at which he flips the book to the painting. Then we return to Wilhelm’s dream.

So, where is Wille coming from at the moment this painting appears? He is certainly under extreme duress. I would compare him to Cézanne at this moment:

Here, the defeated demeanour of the poet could represent how Cézanne faired during his early days as an artist. It looks as if he has lost hope until a muse bestows inspiration. It took a while for the French painter to gain recognition for his talent and maybe a muse of inspiration had something to do with it.

So Cézanne, like Wille, like the poet, was stuck in a cycle where he was doing his best, trying his hardest at something, and still nothing came of it. Wille is terrified of being crown prince – it affects him so physically he vomits simply at the thought of speaking in front of others. He is fighting as hard as he can but the forces surrounding him are far too big for him to ever prevail against them.

Time and time again, he tries to reason. He tries to threaten. He begs. And always, nothing real comes from it. He gets to stay at Hillerska, he gets his bodyguards moved. He still has to make the speech. Still Crown Prince. Still forced into a role he doesn’t want. With Wille as the poet, the block is less creative and more literal. He wants to be able to do what he wants, to be who he is, but he’s not allowed to be. And he’s allowing this to happen to himself. He begins to mold himself into the shape of the Crown Prince.

But for the dream. The dream of a kiss of inspiration. The one thing driving Wille up until this point (at the ball) is this dream that he can, somehow, win Simon over. His whole motivation is to get Simon back – the means may be questionable at times, but it’s undeniable that Simon IS the force behind Wille’s actions. His muse.

Similarly to Simon, it’s not always necessarily a good thing. In the end, Simon inspires Wille to come out on his terms, but up until the ball, where Wille first tries to let go, what he inspires is a relatively selfish feeling in Wille, the I want of winning Simon back. Likewise, Wille as Simon’s muse almost hangs over his shoulder in every interaction, causing guilt and anger and helplessness. It’s the kiss that changes everything.

Wille dreams of being free. Simon is stuck behind an emotional block. The kiss of these two poets’ respective muses represents the freeing of both of their blocks. Wille’s dream becomes a reality; Simon is able to perform his song. Moving forward, as inspirations for the other they become better versions of themselves as they push away the mental, physical, emotional, and creative blocks that kept them away from each other.

Paul Cézanne’s The Kiss of the Muse, also entitled Dream of the Poet is representative of both Wille and Simon in both roles of the painting, as muse and poet. Both act as inspirations to help the other overcome some kind of block, and one quick flip to a page showing this painting in Wille’s textbook acts as foreshadowing for the entire rest of the season.

#young royals #young royals season 2 #young royals analysis #yr #wilmon #anyway #i just spent two hours of my time doing this #thanks for reading #i hope theres no mistakes bc im not editing all that #my stuff #meta

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crayolacolor · 3 months

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simon infinitytrain?

send me a character and i'll list the below things about them | accepting!

HELLO ANON. i do not know if you'll ever see this because it took me ten years, but here i am, answering you.

FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM:

fun fact: simon infinity train is the reason i have a disclaimer about me getting attached to tragic antagonists in my pinned post. so you can probably make an educated guess what i like about him.

he's just. such a well written character. i love how his negative character development was contrasted against grace's positive character development. i love how the writers did a really good job of making him infuriating and sympathetic at the same time.

i'll go more into my thoughts on him in a later section, but yeah, the tl:dr is he really just is my character type hahaha.

he's just a really complex character and imo the writers nailed that.

LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM:

okay well, this answer changes depending on if you mean from a writing perspective or a 'him as a person' perspective. from a writing perspective, 100/10, no notes. i can't think of anything i disliked.

from a PERSON perspective. episode 6 makes me want to murder this man <3 i want to put tape over his mouth every time he speaks in that episode. it's somehow WAY worse than when he's just straightup being an over-dramatic anime villain at the end of the season.

FAVORITE LINE:

oh there are many. i need to rewatch again. but the ones that live in my brain rent free are ALL after his downward spiral begins:

"teamwork begins with two people trusting eachother. but you? you're no person." dramatic effect. extremely traumatizing for everybody who's ever watched this show. 10/10

"i liked what we had, but you made me do it! you betrayed the apex. and you betrayed me." again, dramatic effect. really gives you a feel for what's going on in his head, i think. 10/10

"why would i ever want to change if i'm always right!?" iconic. i think this is the one people remember the most from him, along with the one from ep 5.

BROTP & OTP (combining because my answer is the same for both):

grace. lol. full stop. hopefully i don't have to explain that i am VERY AWARE that their relationship was unhealthy in many, MANY ways. that is what i like about it. i'm a huge fan of messy relationships in fiction. i am a self proclaimed angst fiend.

the tragedy of it all is 100% the appeal of it for me, from either a platonic OR romantic standpoint. i love that. and yes, i do ship them to an extent- but NOT in the "i think they should have gotten together in canon" way. again, the angst is the appeal!!

i admit i do also enjoy aus where they fix their relationship, but not INSTEAD of the canon, more so in ADDITION to the canon. i think it's a fun alternate route to explore, but i deeply adore what the infinity train writers did with them in the show and that will not be changing.

NOTP:

literally any of the protags from the previous seasons. y'all, simon and grace are 18. you can't be shipping them with the 13-14 year olds. please stop. (nobody here! i mostly see this on ao3, honestly.)

RANDOM HEADCANON:

i think simon has been back to the cat multiple times in secret.

i really like the theory that he got some of the apex's tech from her. the main thing i have to support this is this line from the episode where he returns to her cabin in book 3:

"i knew you'd have something. you always do."

particularly i think there's a good chance he got the unmodified gravity boots from her (and likely modified them himself) and possibly also the number tracker.

UNPOPULAR OPINION:

oh i'm sure a lot of what i've already said has been an unpopular opinion, haha. i'm one of those people that's so in the middle in a debate that both sides of it have reasons to disagree with me.

i really like simon. he and grace are my favorite characters in the show. there are parts where i feel really bad for him, and parts where i want to yell at him and hit him over the head with a very large stick.

i see his death as a tragedy in universe, but also a really good writing choice on the part of the infinity train crew.

i don't think they secretly had a scheme to make us dislike him. i think it was written in such a way that it makes sense that some people would have a viscerally negative reaction to him, and others wouldn't. he's a very complex character and that's good writing!!!

i think the tragedy was the point, which is something both people who like him and people who hate him seem to completely overlook in a lot of cases. it's either "woohoo! simon died!" or "killing simon was bad writing he should have been redeemed >:/" not "oh this is really sad but i love it from a story perspective."

i don't think he was "irredeemable", per-say. the fact is, he was faced with a pivotal choice in episode five, and he picked the wrong one. he chose to double-down. i love that. i really do. i love the downward spiral. it's painful in the best way. i would not change the canon show for the world. again, 100/10, no notes.

but i can also see a universe where he made the right choice. i was writing a fic about that, once. (which admittedly has some characterization issues which i would fix if i tried it again.) i think it was possible. and i think that's a fun route to explore too. not a better route from a writing standpoint, but a good one.

i have so many more thoughts but this has already gotten really long, and i have two more questions to go, lol. but if you want to hear anymore you're free to send me another ask about it!

but, for now, moving on.

SONG I ASSOCIATE WITH THEM:

someone else on tumblr pointed out that "the moon will sing" by the crane wives is a good fit for simon @ grace and now i can't unhear it.

and, finally, FAVORITE PICTURE OF THEM:

anime villain simon my beloved.

#color's ever-revolving interests | fandom stuff #mailbox arcade | ask games #anonymous #infinity train #simon laurent #long post #HOOO boy can you tell i have a lot of thoughts about simon infinity train???? LOL #i have a lot of thoughts about b3 in general tbh #this is not even the HALF of them #i love it so much.

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vonaliencode · 3 months

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I'm rewatching What's New Scooby Doo and I have some thoughts; part 2

Progress disclaimer in part 1 =]

So I've talked about Shaggy, what about the rest of the Gang? Daphne is an overpowered queen the whole time and I love that shit. The show makes a reoccurring joke that she's able to do everything from unlock doors to renovate entire houses with whatever's in her purse. Icon and she knows it.

Velma's great as always with her usual smarts and sarcasm, and I find what they added to her personality very interesting. She fawns over certain boys with Daphne, she goes a little nuts the couple times that the Gang doesn't actually meet the bad guy beforehand so of course she didn't know who it was, and she seems to like expressing her femininity but at the same time is embarrassed by it. She volunteers to wear a Jasmine-eske belly dancer outfit and appears to be pretty comfortable, but in a different episode remarks that her "mother would have a heart attack" when she's wearing a wedding dress and an edgy wig for a Hex Girls music video. Ngl though I think that was a joke at my expense because I saw her and damn near hit the floor. Achievement Unlocked: Super Gay.

Fred is a himbo, we knew that, but special shoutout to the episode wherein the Gang is at a Renn Fair and he catapults Shaggy and Scooby into the brick wall of a tower, looks at Daphne, and says "I'll try to aim a little higher with you =] " . Bro. Also I don't know if this is the case for most iterations or not but I love that he's a fanboy. Mostly over sports teams but he's a smiley, eager dude with people he wants to impress. This did carry over to certain movies; I know he's a fan of astronauts too.

Scooby's the title character but there isn't much to say about him because he's a very simple and consistent personality; silly, scared, hungry, talking Great Dane. You don't need to change perfection.

#what's new scooby doo #characterization #daphne blake #velma dinkley #fred jones #scooby doo

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nataliaphantomhivesblog · 9 months

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What are your current fandoms??

OH MY GOD!!! I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME THIS!! LETS GOOOO🥳🥳🥳

1. Black Butler<3

It would've been incredibly distasteful to not put this beauty on top of my list. I have been a fan of this one since 5th grade, the literal backbone of my insanity.

I may complain monthly over the agnoizingly short chapters, but the narrative and storytelling in this manga is one of my favorites ever.

Although you didn't ask, I have the need to mention: Ciel Phantomhive is my child!!

And yes, I am still awaiting Prince Soma's return.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a sebaciel wierdo and my space doesn't welcome the romanticization of pedophila. "waah waah but it's fiction!" okay?? my account is dedicated on fictional stories and characters and I don't want your wacky shit here. Thank you in advance.

2. Bungou Stray Dogs!!!

What a crime it would've been if I didn't mention the reason my account grew in the first place!!

BSD has such a special place in my heart. Tbh bsd saved me during the downfall that was 2021.

I think people who aren't new to my blog know I'm a sucker for Soukoku. I've made extensive analysis on their relationships for 3 years now. When will this brainrot end!?!?

And oh, of course I am forever greatful to the lovely @ryuuaka713 for collaborating with me on various post, I couldn't have done it without her!! Hope life treats you well! You got a tumblr friend always rooting for ya<3

ALSO: If any of you ever want to ask me anything regarding bsd that isn't Soukoku, please do! I love bsd as a whole and would be happy to answer<3

3. Berserk

Let me make one thing clear!!! I am NOT a berserk reddit fanboy who completely ignores and neglects the narrative of this story in order to fill whatever inner void that needs to be filled.

I am suuuper passionate about the Golden Age Arc and the Pre Eclipse era of Berserk, it would be impossible to shut me up about it.

I could go on billion rants about Griffith's character and his actual complexities throughout the narrative. (no, he isn't emotionless, that would destory the whole point of the story lol)

Also I want to give a not-so-subtle shoutout to @bthump for validating every single thought I had while reading Berserk and always providing textual evidence. Thank you for being the light in the darkness of this fandom!

4. Death Note

sighs yes I am still in the fandom of an anime that has only one season and ended so poetically that it makes perfect sense that it doesn't have a continuation yet my brain screams for content when obviously it will never happen.

Before anyone asks, I am not team Light or team L, both of them are selfish people and used others lives in order to beat one another.

I am a constant defender of the fact that the Death Note consumed Light. Not only is it textually stated; but it's visually stated

(Light's eyes get wider and more innocent looking for a reason when he forgets the death note guys!!!)

Anyways, this story is absolutely awesome and I think most people can agree with that.

I don't rewatch this anime often, but when I do I get shooked by the big brain plans and big brain confrontations lmao.

5. Moral Orel

"MORAL OREL SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN CANCELLED!! FOOLISH PEOPLE FEARED IT SPOKE TOO MUCH FACTS" I scream into a void, tears fill my eyes as losing my religion by R.E.M plays in the background.

Seriously though, I love this show; a literal masterpiece. I don't think theres any show that made me incredibly concious of how my own family's dynamic worked as this one did.

Has amazing takes of the human condition and contains life long lessons.

I once made a long post about the generational abuse of moral orel if you want to check it out!

Anyways, if you haven't had the glorious chance to watch this masterpiece. PLEASE DO!! I BEG!!! The whole series is out on youtube!

we don't talk about the first 3 episodes!!!

6. Sonic!!!!

I never post anything sonic related on my blog, but I adore Sonic! Not only my childhood, but it continues to pump off amazing content and games.

Fun fact: I have a cute mini sonic keychain my friend gifted me, I take it with me everywhere!!

DID YOU KNOW THAT KELLIN QUINN FROM SLEEPING WITH SIRENS WAS INVOLVED WITH THE SONIC FRONTIERS SOUNDTRACK!?!?!? AAAAAAA I LOVE SONIC GAMES MUSIC AND ITS DIVERSITY

Nobody asked, but my favorie character is Knuckles and Shadow for anyone who wants to know! (No one wants to know but I HAVE THE NEED TO SAY IT.)

anyways yes, I love Sonic, I am at arms-lenght with the fandom since i'm... well... not much into the furry stuff that goes on. But theres lots of fanmade content out there that is super cool!

IN CONCLUSION!?!?!?

I have lots and lots of other fandoms im in but i fear i will go on forever if I keep on talking.

Thank you so much for reading all the way through and please, don't ever hesitate to ask me anything related to any of these fandoms above. Hyper analizing stuff is my speciality after all:D

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kidcataldo · 8 months

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Controversial opinion: drakken and shego getting together in the finale TOTALLY was fan service. Let me explain—

I rewatched kim possible recently bc I was feeling nostalgic and this was one of the first fandoms I ever joined and drakgo was one of my very first ships. Don’t mistake this post as anti-drakgo. I still hold this ship in a very special place in my heart and I still wholeheartedly believe they like like each other by the end of the series

But looking at this show now as an adult,

I don’t think drakken and shego are equally matched. He’s a playground bully while she’s wanted in multiple countries. Drakken tries to take over the world dozens of times and fails miserably each time. She tries it to just once and becomes the supreme one.

Villainy is a hobby for drakken. I don’t even think he knows what he’d actually do if ever gets control of the world. When he’s awarded the medal at the end of the series (for saving the world), I think he becomes waaayyy less evil. People finally recognize his genius and they reward him for it. He’s not gonna want to lose that.

But, like I said, I do think drakken and shego have always had an unspoken attraction toward one another throughout the show’s running. So I can see shego sticking around for a bit to explore that side of their relationship.

And I can see their relationship becoming actual genuine love, but she ultimately leaves him because, at the end of the day, she wants world domination and he wants people to recognize his genius (which he succeeds in).

But they only “got together” by the end because the creators needed to wrap their stories up and enough fans liked them together. If the show wasn’t ending, or if they got unexpectedly canceled, I don’t think they would have had that little moment at the end. And drakken would have never “saved” the world.

Editing this to quickly add: I don’t think this is how they should have ended up together. It was rushed and probably added last minute. Again, for the sake of fan service. I think their relationship deserved to be developed and they deserved a better ending than the one they got.

All this said, my new headcanon for them is they will forever be stuck in an on/off relationship. They can never fully be apart for too long but they can never really be together.

And maybe technically they’re still together bc there’s never really going to be anyone else for them, but their differences lead them to live separate lives. In other words, they’re together but not together.

He probably lets her hideout at his place when the cops are on her tail. And she’s just chilling in his bedroom eating chips and watching reruns of pals while he’s in the other room with FBI agents, claiming he has no idea where she might be.

And she definitely steals classified weapons/chemicals for his projects when global justice (he’s for sure working for the government) deems them too dangerous/expensive to retrieve. Like, they order him to make it work without the dangerous/illegal component, and he just gets her to steal it and lies to them about it

Quick disclaimer: I didn’t watch the 20th anniversary reunion thingy, but I think I saw somewhere that the characters say they got together off screen but it didn’t work out.

#drakgo #kim possible #drakken #dr drakken #shego #headcanon #fandom #fandom headcanons #kim possible fandom #character analysis #show analysis #tv show #cartoon #nostalgia #childhood nostalgia

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ladymelisande · 1 year

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On Maura's miscarriage and Elliot's existence or non-existence.

Disclaimer: This goes along with the theory that Eyk is Maura's husband outside the simulations and Daniel and Elliot are not real. If you think I am the only one that has this theory and feel personally offended when I say they are not real.... Keep it to your damn self and don't send me hate for it.

So, I was rewatching the scene where Maura and Eyk talk in the boat about her taking the boy in. Eyk asks her if she had children and she says she doesn't because she had a miscarriage and the complications rendered her unable to have children. She also says it was a few years ago, not eleven/twelve. Daniel later says this a false memory and that Elliot is their son. But Maura still doesn't feel anything when she sees pictures of this supposed son of hers.

For me the miscarriage was actually real or at least in part, but it could also go around with the backstory of Maura's experiments harming her child. Maybe her experiments caused a secondary reaction and she did lose her child in the real world.

We also have Eyk's backstory, who lost his three daughters to his wife setting them all and herself on fire and his daughter saying she tells their mother that he can chain him but he will always come back.

Maybe they there some true mixed with the change of setting there. Maura and Eyk lost a child and he either left or turned more to alcohol. Though he doesn't seem to me that he is that deep into alcoholism yet, to be honest, he seems pretty functional.

Daniel says Maura wanted to forget, but her story with Elliot doesn't make much sense. She wanted to forget she ever did that to her son? If that so, why? He didn't say Ciaran created the miscarriage story, he said she wanted to forget the pain. If she wanted to forget, why did she forget her whole arse son? Why keeping said son trapped in the simulation? Why isn't her son in the spaceship?

It would make sense to that Maura wanted to forget the pain of losing a child and her marriage falling apart - all the memories regarding Daniel and Elliot happen inside a simulation - so she created a whole different life for it. A whole different husband unrelated to her real one who would never leave her - not even for their child - and a son that would adore her no matter what. If they are going for Maura being a darker character than she is, then maybe Daniel was a real person and she used his memories to create this simulation.

And why is Eyk in the simulation? Well, that's where Ciaran comes in. If he is behind them being on the ship, maybe he implanted Eyk in the simulation to be someone that would disrupt the fantasy. Eyk is the one that wants to investigate the ships, the one that constantly challenges Maura and she is immediately drawn to him without the need of him having to trigger memories on her to gain her trust.

There is definitely a story that has a darker turn of Maura as a mother but I doubt it's as simple as what Henry showed Elliot. I think she would have felt more if it was like that.

Of course, I could be wrong and this could be nonsense but that's why it is a theory and I will stand corrected to what the writers do when the series ends.

#1899 netflix #1899 spoilers #maura franklin #eyk larsen #not gonna tag the other characters because apparently the fandom is offended of people saying they are not real now #tw: miscarriage

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mommyzhilla · 6 months

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Bad Buddy and its aftereffects

Disclaimer: this is just going to be a word vomit. Something I had been meaning to do since ages but being down with flu finally gave me the time and mindspace to do it.

My first tryst with Thai BLs started with Love By Chance and I tried.. I really tried.. but the script.. the acting were just not clicking with me.

Then came the wave of 2gether the series and that was much better.. I was at least able to complete watching the first season even though I didnt get the hype around it.. It was my second time giving up..

My third effort was ITSAY and gosh what a show that was.. I was recommending it to anyone who would listen to me gush about Billkin and PP and the director. The show was heavy on my heart.. I needed to brace myself every time I wanted to rewatch it.. I guess I have rewatched it 3 or 4 times in all these years.. It just is that emotionally heavy show for me.

But the music.. Gosh the music.. the songs.. Billkin's voice.. When I tell u Skyline and untold answer were on repeat.. Specially untold answer.. I still listen to it..

Despite my love for ITSAY and my tolerance for IPYTM.. I again took a break from Thai BLs.. and BLs in general..

Throwback to exactly 1 year back.. When I rediscovered thai BLs... let me be specific.. I discovered Bad Buddy..

My first watch.. awesome.. loved it.. listened to the songs a bit..

my bestie then suggested me Not me.. kinnporsche.. eclipse.. liked them all.. and I thought thats it..

But then I rewatched Bad Buddy.. and rewatched it the next time.. and the next.. I was literally rewatching those 12 episodes almost till April and May of this year.. for almost 6 months.. I didnt consume bad buddy.. bad buddy consumed me..

I was watching MSP and never let me go and other BLs too.. but an episode of bad buddy everyday became a need.. and this perplexed me.. I kept on having conversations with my bestie about my obsession with Bad Buddy. This level of obsession.. where I was crying listening to the BGM.. crying over a 3 min trailer.. after watching the show multiple times.. had never happened to me ever..

And apart from all this.. bad buddy was responsible for a couple of firsts for me.. first time joined tumblr.. for bad buddy.. explored ao3 and read way too many pat pran fanfics.. and also made me explore Thai music.. and my spotify wrapped is the proof.. its full of thai songs.. Bad buddy instrumental BGM.. is in my top songs..

I guess the obsession was a consequence of my failed past relationship.. which finally ended right around the time I discovered Bad buddy.. where things were very similar.. I used to call him soulmate.. but family issues made us break up after 10 yrs.. Every time I rewatch ep 11.. where Pat says to Pran that you dont leave me and fight alongside me.. I cry buckets over this one scene.. coz I didnt have anyone to fight alongside me.. may be its that.. may be it was the characters.. may be it was the magic created by p'aof.. but somewhere.. something struck such a cord that the show still has the ability to bring out emotions that I didn't know existed.. I always describe it as emotions bubbling and trying hard to break the wall and spill all over.. thats what I feel.. and sometimes they spill over.. and m left a crying mess.. No other show has made me feel this way.. No other form of media has made me feel this way.

Is the obsession still there? Not as much.. I still love a good patpran fanfic.. My top song is Just friends by Nanon which I listen to this day.. I still cry over the instrumental BGM.. But I no longer have to watch bad buddy every single day..

I dont know how much bad buddy has helped me overcome my past.. but I know its still a safe space I can visit when things get tough.. Funny how a random piece of media can have such an important share in your life.. A random show on the internet can heal you more than the living people around you.

Now that I have talked about it so much.. I may as well watch ep 6 (3/4).. fyi.. that beach scene is my fav..

P.S.. I know there would be typos and errors but I am not going to read it all back else I will not have the courage to post this.

#bad buddy #bad buddy rewatch #bad buddy the series #pat x pran #patpran #not just a random show anymore

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o-wild-west-wind · 8 months

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A Biracial Reading of OFMD, ft. Iggy’s Revenge Izcourse

a.k.a. I typed out a sentence that turned into an accidental essay of meta, whoops!

Y’all…I love this fandom to pieces, but I don’t think some of you realize why not all of us love Izzy/may be critiquing him. And major disclaimer—I am in NO WAY telling anyone to stop enjoying him as a character. This is NOT an anti-Izzy post (I will go into more detail on why I in fact encourage you to keep doing so later, and to the people who are sending unsolicited hate mail to Izzy fans & haters alike: please don’t!)—I’m just tired of seeing vitriolic hate against the people writing about him as an antagonist, or critiquing his actions based on canon, or post after post of “why don’t people love Izzy like I do!!” and then aggression when people explain their honest opinions. Look: we all have our skrungly little bad guys. I get it!! I’ve got my own collection!! I too have become a consumer and enjoyer of the Izzy fanon!!! PLEASE don’t take this as an attack—I just want to provide some personal, potentially fresh context from at least one (obviously non-exhaustive) perspective for those who want to know why Izzy isn’t universally adored, and also to make a plea for a safer fandom space where we can talk about our perspectives on these fictional characters without escalating to unnecessary vitriol, especially as s2 be upon ye (bc holy shit fandom is supposed to be fun, we’re having fun and that’s an order 😤)

(Oh, and I know I’m potentially stirring the pot with this post, but this should go without saying: don’t send each other death threats. What the fuck. Nobody do this?!)

So now that the legalize is out of the way: I want to share that the reason I initially imprinted on this show—and on Ed specifically—was because I’d never seen an explicitly biracial character treated with such complexity, nuance, and grace. While our ethnic makeups are vastly different, I too am half-white & half-brown—which means we’re absolutely nothing culturally alike, but our worlds view and treat us as pretty much the same regardless. And like Ed, my dad resents my mom and my racial makeup, and is prone to what I like to call “white violence.” Not going to overshare on the internet, but let’s just say that all this compounded makes Ed feel highly relatable to me (although for legal purposes I promise I have not krakened my dad 🙃).

When I first watched the show (and honestly also until my 3rd or 4th rewatch), Izzy IMMEDIATELY made me think of my dad. He also immediately made me think of Ed’s dad. Their mannerisms, word choices, and tones of voice; the obsessive need for control; the default of violence; the gradual dehumanization until an ultimate kraken-ifying breaking point—it all read to me like an intentional parallel. A shadow of white violence following Ed around that he hasn’t been able to shake, and mirroring to him the things he fears the most, including the things he fears within himself and feels forced to become (he is half-white after all, and this is a whole other post, but tl;dr there can be a lot of baggage that comes with being half-white/half-poc in regards to grappling with your toxic relationship to that white side of yourself, and especially if your white parent was racist and/or violent). And you can claim a different reading of all of this if you want (I genuinely mean that, like I’m in favor of meta & I think it’s great to analyze these things) BUT. that does not change the fact that I felt what I felt as a result of what was portrayed on screen and combined with my lived experience. Because fictional characters are just that—fictional—and are vessels by which you can process the world; we will always bring our personal lived experiences to anything we consume, and that’s okay—that can be the point, even. Art imitates life imitates art. Interpretation is the name of the game!

(more under the cut)

So when I watch this show, it’s a helpful tool for me to process my own feelings of being victimized by the white violence that’s followed me around my whole life, as well as the ways in which I’ve rebelled against it/tried to make peace with a non-toxic version of whiteness (in parallel to the more overt theme of masculinity, which is—ding ding—inexplicably tied to whiteness and western colonialism) via chaos, love, hurt, and sometimes giving up and giving in—and in this process, Izzy is a safe target. And you know why that is? Because he’s FICTIONAL. I can feel rage towards him because he’s NOT REAL. I can better understand and process the pain I’ve felt and rarely seen societally acknowledged by watching it paralleled on screen via actors and writers who have likely also grappled with similar feelings (I mean, I genuinely have made more progress with my personal biracial trauma via this show vs. years of therapy), and if I want to assume the worst of Izzy based on my interpretation of canon to help me through this? That’s fine! Because I can’t hurt his feelings and he can’t hurt mine!! Because he’s not real!!!

And here’s why I still support the Izzy-enjoyment: I am sure that many of the people who love Izzy and defend him to the ends of the earth probably feel a similar way that I do about Ed. It’s why we get all riled up and protective of these characters, why we might take attacks on them as attacks on ourselves; recognition of the self in the form of the other, and all that. Izzy is a vessel by which to safely work through the dark feelings and the pain you’ve bottled up—and he’s a safe way to do that because he’s FICTIONAL. And that’s a beautiful thing imo!! That’s truly the beauty of art—it is what we make of it, and what we make of it helps make ourselves better. It’s good to be open to interpretation.

HOWEVER: that does not give you permission to discount my relationship to this show (as I will not discount yours), and more importantly: that does NOT give you permission to reject the notion that canonically in s1, Izzy is literally and thematically (emphasis on thematically) an antagonist who is purposefully written to cause harm that can be interpreted as a hate crime, especially to those with lived experience of homophobia/racism/ableism/bullying/etc.—and you cannot harass people about this when conversing about theories of canon. If someone sees Izzy’s dialogue as cutting, degrading, and even triggering, that’s extremely fair of them to do so—clearly Ed was written to feel it that way! Con himself has paralleled Izzy with Judas! And can interpret it all differently? Sure! But you CANNOT assume that everyone else will, and then get upset when people don’t. I can’t believe I need to spell this out about an angry white guy in a show about toxic masculinity, but if someone does not like Izzy, it is likely due to a personal history of harassment (or worse) that he is reminiscent of; by making a point to defend him to someone—even if you are well-intentioned—you are very much putting salt in a wound.

I want to take this opportunity to further emphasize some tenets of fandom in general:

you can like characters who do horrible things without needing to jump hoops to argue their morals as pure 👏

conversely, you can critique their actions and still like them (encouraged, even) 👏

you can like characters who do horrible things simply because they’re cool and hot and interesting—don’t worry, we know it’s not the same as liking people like them irl 👏

your liking a villain archetype says nothing about your own moral virtue 👏

you can like horrible characters and see reasons for why they are the way they are/view them as tragic/note sympathetic dimensions of their personality/root for them to have redemption arcs while acknowledging that said redemption arc may not have happened in canon yet and that these are implicit, not explicit, readings of canon 👏

and you can also reimagine canon and change their contexts in fan works so that they ARE morally virtuous 👏 but PLEASE just be mindful and accountable when you do this in a context where not everyone will see a character the same way as you, and where multiple of people of marginalized identities have spoken out about the harm not doing so can cause. Just be honest, sincere, and kind, listen and learn, and don’t harass people for understandably needing space from a character that symbolizes something different to them than it does to you.

Also: blocking tags or people just because they have character opinions different than yours is totally okay and does not mean anything other than “I am curating my online space to have a better time,” it’s NOT personal

And most importantly: FANDOM IS FOR FUN! This isn’t our day job! We come to fandom to decompress. Don’t ruin people’s safe spaces!!!

Like I said, I’ve grown to enjoy Izzy over time thanks to fandom and fanon, and I think it’s fantastic that fandom can have such diversity in the way it interprets canon. I can’t wait for his probable redemption arc (it will likely be a healing thing to witness for many of us) and I’m truly glad that we can all have different relationships to the same characters. But please—when some of us need Izzy to be a punching bag, just let him be a punching bag. No, it’s not homophobic and DEFINTELY not misogynistic to view him as an obstacle in Ed and Stede’s relationship (baffled by the amount of times I’ve seen this take—it’s a funny joke but if you actually think Izzy is treated the way female characters related to other mlm ships have been treated, the point is very much going whoosh). You don’t have to engage; it’s not personal. It’s not about YOUR relationship with him—it’s about MINE. Please let me feel and even discuss rage towards him when I think about episode 10. Please let me throw as many sandwiches at his head as I need to. Because I PROMISE, it won’t hurt him—because he, and none of these characters, are real; and yet we, the fans, very much are.

#woof #did I add enough disclaimers?#this was longer than intended so if you read all the way through I’m giving you a kiss #I wasn’t going to engage but I keep seeing vitriol in the tag when all I want to do is decompress and I just…#I just came here to see gay ppl kiss sir this is a Wendy’s #fandom should be a safe space and I hate getting an ick from tumblr when it’s what I’m trying to use to escape the bad shit #life is hard enough lmao #anyway #please be kind to each other #I could go into the whole other topic of what the trauma of Covid did to our virtual affect and interpersonal skills but #alas that’s a thesis within itself #and on that note I have my actual thesis to work on so i won’t be closely monitoring this post just needed to get this all off my chest #and for what it’s worth I’ve been trying to avoid s2 spoilers so I haven’t seen the Izzy clip yet but that’s honestly irrelevant to this #bc this is in relation to s1 and I hope we can all just have a good time again this season #ofmd #our flag means death #the izcourse #ofmd meta #trauma #racism

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bougiebutchbitch · 9 months

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I started rewatching House and have now rekindled that good ol hyperfixation, and I just wanted to stop by and thank you for providing Bottom House content. I am starving for it. It's weird because I'm not normally super picky about what characters are in what sexual positions/roles, but like. [Disclaimer: Everybody should have fun and read/write what makes them happy regardless of my own preferences, fandom is about having fun, I'm not out here trying to police how people enjoy shit blah blah blah]

...But on god I just cannot imagine watching this show and walking away with the interpretation that House is a confident dom top when it feels like every other episode shows him being such a bratty sub bottom. He's his usual brand of sarcastic about it all, but his sexual jokes and his general attraction to authoritative women... How he encourages his fellows to fight back against him and put him in his place if they think he's going off the rails or that they're right and he's wrong... The neediness... Come on! Man is such a bottom. And that's not even getting into Wilson's whole predisposition to just constantly soft dom House, or just how much more interesting I find it to explore House being a needy little sub while he also has to constantly face the ableism of everyone around him-- YES, he needs someone to make him heel and to express that kind of vulnerability around, but also Wilson and Cuddy do have this tendency to assume they know what he needs and approach his vulnerability in a condescending and (Wilson especially) morally superior kind of ableist way where they just "know so much better" than him about himself and his pain and his experiences. It can make for such engaging conflict and interesting exploration of themes in a way that I just don't really see in fics that position House as a cocky asshole dom top and Wilson as a blushing little softboi, and I often turn away from top House fics because House, Wilson, and their whole dynamic just feel ooc to me.

Bottom House is just more fun to me, personally. And more sexy, I'll admit. But there's such a startling lack of it! Babygirl's show has existed for almost a decade now, and he does not get railed nearly enough in fanfic! So I want you to know I appreciate and value your contributions to the cause. You are braver than any US marine.

I can add absolutely nothing to this wonderful essay because it expresses my thoughts exactly. Apparently a majority of the original fandom back in The Old Days of the noughties watched the show and came out under the impression that House is - a dom??? Like?? WTF???? Were we watching the same show???? Were doms just Built Different back then??? That man is as bratty bottom sub as they COME. Like. THEE OG mold of bratty bottom. All other bratty bottoms aspire to be House.

He constantly pushes buttons until people snap? He's forever testing his friends and coworkers, longing for them to bark back at him and visibly getting off on it when they put him in his place?? If they ordered him to do something he would leer at them and growl 'make me'???

I was chatting about this with a mate literally yesterday, about how we both like a little switching with almost all of our ships - but HOUSE IS ALWAYS A BRATTY BOTTOM BITCH FOR US

HE JUST IS

it's right there in the show

we don't even need to write a meta explanation (though I appreciate yours greatly) because we have an 8 season long essay on the subject

(yes, yes, I am echoing your disclaimer that anyone can ship whatever they want in whatever way they want; no hate to anyone, etc. I'm just. Baffled at how popular dommy top House content is because I do not see it. I am blind to it. I cannot understand it skdhfsldfgsdfg)

And blushing softboi Wilson is just ???????? to me. Where is that man? Where???? I didn't see him in the series, that's for sure!

Is it literally just that he's smaller, traditionally prettier, and more feminine - and as we all know, the shorter feminine guy always bottoms???? /s, I know it can't just be that khgkgkjgh

Eh, c'est la vie! But at least there's a little community of us all shaking each other's hands and going 'THAT MAN IS BLATANTLY A BRAT'.

Also, you are 100% right about the main fascination of this show being (for me, a Physically Disabled) the intersection of the ableism and infantilization House faces, and his desire to sub and be vulnerable with others. That's so fucking juicy, and I think a lot of interpretations of his character miss it T^T

#these are all personal opinions and people are welcome to disagree ofc!#anon out here dragging me back into the house md fandom by the ankle #as I kick and scream and cling to jjk

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bengiyo · 10 months

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I Told Sunset About You Rewatch Ep 5 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

As a disclaimer, I don't think ITSAY is the end of this story, but it is the end of this run. This is an I Promised You the Moon fan account.

I also rewatched The Love of Siam (2007) last night to return to the angst I felt going into the end of this.

Last time, Teh blew up every relationship in his life thinking he was doing something for Oh, but really just being a condescending ass to everyone in his life. There was much ugly crying. However, we got the best underwater kiss ever, so it's a wash?

Teh got back to test taking form, but Oh seems to be struggling even with Teh's tools.

This show makes deleting your chat lots so dramatic by underscoring it with the Untold Answer instrumental.

I like walking through the wreckage of Teh's relationships. The friend chat is awkward. His mom is still mad, but she's still make sure he eats. Hoon still believes in him, and wants him to keep the tuition money. His teachers think he's been irresponsible and want him to learn the lesson and do better. Tarn is still pissed and setting effective boundaries.

I continue to adore MoRaoYuLok.

Of course Teh has to be petty and mean to Oh while giving a blessing to Phillip. This is not how you get a man, Teh.

I really do get the "It should have been Bas" folks. He's so kind and earnest. He's not afraid of his feelings for Oh. He said, "I have no shame." Just look at Teh losing it because Bas can just say how he feels for Oh in front of everyone.

I love this teacher for interrupting Oh's answer. It was brave for Bas to confess publicly, but Oh doesn't need to give his answer publicly. Very tactful of the teacher. He gets a plate.

Drink the damn coconut, Teh. Let your family support you.

We don't talk about Nah enough and how well she worked with Billkin and Nat.

Look at them calling back to the first day they met here.

Teh, why are you hurting your own feelings asking questions you already know the answer to? This man is a masochist. He always chooses the thing that will fuck up his life the most.

Look at this man. He is ugly crying during an exam. I feel bad because this is what the closet does to you. Oh moved on, and now he's looking at a version of his life where all of his efforts went to complete waste. Like he's totally in the wrong, but so was I when I was his age. I also made big mistakes.

See, I love the pacing of this show. As much as I feel for Teh and his struggles, he infected Oh with internalized homophobia. Oh panics a bit at Bas holding his hand because of what trying to be with Teh has done to him. That's fucked, and so sad. Bas is just so sweet.

Brother balcony scene, my beloved. You gotta see the documentaries to hear Boss talk about Teh and Nat in this scene.

Still, excellent pacing to follow the mixed feelings of the last few scenes with Teh finally admitting aloud what's going on with him. Hoon is a great brother for asking his brother what needed to be asked in the right way.

I'm an oldest sibling, and one of the oldest cousins. I would have loved having a peer relative give me permission to be who I am. This scene gets me every time.

Love Hoon mentioning hand holding and we've had Bad holding Oh's hand in both scenes around the balcony.

Everyone else is worried about Teh and Bas is unbothered.

Piano scene, my beloved.

Oh immediately reacting to the song, and then the slow pan to push Bas out of frame so we know he's back on his Teh bullshit. Then the reveal that Teh is also here and in his feelings next to the Oh-aew dessert? Skyline remains undefeated.

Of course Oh-aew's family have a red iPad. It's his color and he's not wearing his color right now.

Tarn didn't fuck up her admissions. That's all that matters.

Oh-aew getting into his first pick makes me cry every time. Skyline? Undefeated.

Sui is so relieved that Teh is still getting into a school with his program, but Try feels like he failed because his plan is off.

Bas is the bravest out of all of them. He took Oh to Teh's house so Oh could break up with him. I've been Bas, too. It hurts to know you're not their choice. It's interesting that Teh is upset about only getting his second choice school and Bas is upset about being Oh's second choice.

"I don't want to see him sad." These two, I swear. Bas, I hope you found someone who cares about you first.

Of course we can't have a Bas and Oh scene without checking in with Tarn. I like how they changed her costuming slightly so she looks a little more grown up.

The Tarn Teh-Yongjian portrait is such a thoughtful gift. I feel bad for Tarn, because Teh is trying to let her down as gently as he can. He does his best to affirm that he really did like Tarn for two years, and one of his fears is of things changing and losing friends.

Smile plays Tarn's disappointment so beautifully during the scene. I really don't think we've praised her performance enough. I want to interview her and Tina Holmes (for her work in Edge of Seventeen and Shelter). She tries so hard to not make Teh feel bad even as her heart breaks. Not until Nara in La Pluie do I think we've let the ones who lost in love be sad with this much respect.

I'm glad I watched Love of Siam again, because that movie also cleared up all of its problems before building towards a gay crescendo.

This track playing during Oh's run is so beautiful.

Welcome back, Skyline instrumental. You are the standard.

It's really beautiful to see Teh encouraging Oh for something he believes in finally.

The story of them filming the cape scene and the clouds clearing is as good as the show itself. I cry just thinking about Boss telling us about it.

Oh, Oh-aew, you always have so much room to this boy. "Do not disappear like that again, please," is such a reasonable request.

"If I can be anything, can I be your boyfriend?" genuinely healed a massive hole in my heart left behind by the end of The Love of Siam. What a beautiful final shot. You have no idea the angst I carried even through the first five years I was in modern BL.

When I tell you we had no idea that I Promised You the Moon was coming, and this stinger made us lose our collective minds.

Final Verdict: 10, It Is Still the Standard. This is by far one of the most coherent shows we've ever had. Every single aspect of this show is executed to near-perfection. There is a reason many of us talk about BL as pre- and post-ITSAY. If you have been sitting on the fence about this show, I genuinely think it's hard to understand the seismic shift that followed this show without witnessing it for yourself.

Look for more commentary from us on @the-conversation-pod in the fall. We record our retrospective tomorrow!

#i told sunset about you #itsay meta #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

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